#i kind of had to get to the games if i wanted new stuff to enjoy during no print work release droughts
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some things fall when they're meant to fall
11k (so far) | rated T | read on ao3
Eddie’s gaze drop to Buck’s lips—pink, like his birthmark. Eddie wants to taste those lips, and he wants it with a fierceness so sudden it shocks him.
“I’m, uh,” Buck stammers. “Last night. When you saw me and Tommy…we—we were on a date.”
Everything inside Eddie goes still. If his heart is a kite, then this is the moment it plummets back to earth.
or, Buck tells Eddie some news. Eddie has a realization and breaks up with his girlfriend. Not necessarily in that order.
written for @burnthatbridge
Chapter 2/4 now up on ao3
Eddie is happy for Buck. Obviously. It goes without saying that he’s happy for him.
And look, it’s not like it’s hard. Not when Buck’s been walking around like the LA sun shines specifically for him. He’s got this shimmering halo of excitement around him these days, and beneath that, a kind of deep relief. Like some of the heavy weight he’s dragged around with him his entire life has been lifted.
More than anyone Eddie’s ever known, Buck has spent his life searching for something. And finally, he’s found it.
Not Tommy—although Buck does get a particular blushing grin on his face whenever he talks about him. What Buck has found is something bigger than that. A truth about himself. An answer to a question he never knew to ask.
So yeah, Eddie’s happy for him. How could he not be? This whole year, when he hasn’t been worrying about Chris, he’s been worried about Buck and how he’s been dealing with the aftermath of the lightning strike.
He’s not worried anymore.
And as for Eddie’s own revelation…the realization that for him, all roads lead to Buck, well…
He’s not thinking about it. He’s doing everything in his power to act like nothing’s changed, to act the way the Eddie Diaz of two weeks ago would act. The Eddie Diaz whose brain hadn’t yet caught up to his heart on the matter of Evan Buckley.
“So, there’s a Dodgers game this evening,” Eddie says, jiggling his car keys nervously while he waits for Buck to finish changing after their shift. He rests his gaze somewhere to the left of Buck's bare chest. “I was thinking about inviting Tommy over to watch. And I know you’re watching Jee so Chim and Maddie can work on wedding stuff—”
“Eddie,” Buck tugs his shirt over his head and looks at Eddie quizzically. “We’ve already been over this. I was never actually mad that you were hanging out with Tommy without me. I mean yeah, I guess I felt slightly excluded, but it was more about—”
“Yeah, yeah I know, the giant crush you had on the guy,” Eddie says with a fond eye-roll. There. That’s something two-weeks-ago Eddie would’ve said, right?
(read chapter 2 on ao3)
taglist:
@remembertheskittles @myao3library-blog @sorryimlatecapt @swiftiesisters14 @bewitchedbewilderedbisexual
@myphilomena @neuromagpie @fleurdebeton @daffi-990 @crysty-rp-2023
@confetti-cupcake @pixelmator5 @fabgirlll @evansbuckkley @lyricfulloflight
@daisievalentine @crazyfangirlallert @bucklavaa @torturedpoetdean @smallandalmosthonest
@notalwaysdead @anatargmova @marmottion @flavored-soda @thebirdling
@tulipfromtheinternet @takemebythehand-andsetmefree @sunshinediaz @thatsveryood @devirnis
@messyhairdiaz @skies-below @actingcamplibrarian @dirundmir @stagefoureddiediaz
@wh0rebehavi0rmain @dancy-nrew @eddiebabygirldiaz @screamatthescreen @organizedstardust
@leothil
#ive never posted a multichapter fic before so i have no idea what im doing#ive also never done a proper taglist before haha#chapter 2 is up though!!!! chapter 3 hopefully coming soon#sibyls words#some things fall sequel#it's not a sequel though it's just chapter 2#911 fic#buddie fic
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Alright guys here's my spoiler free opinion on Digimon Liberator Episode 0 and 1, and with spoilers under the cut.
Also starting next week I will also reblog Digimon Liberator stuff with the tag #Digimon Liberator spoilers, so make sure to blacklist/filter that if you want!
Ok, so I feel like the series had a good start! (besides the technical issues, but they fixed them within the first day)
To me, the main characters felt likable from the start! Both of them being passionate about Digimon (and the card game), and being in their late teens, makes them more relatable to the current audience of Digimon.
The art is great, love the colors, the characters are very expressive— And I think they did a good job visualizing the card game play.
Even if you don't know how the game works, it's simple enough to follow, and there are basic explanations when needed. With the colors and expressions and everything, it just all looks fun and it is fun to read!
While I don't have a lot of experience reading webcomic, and thus can't really compare it, I felt the artist used the layout of the vertcial medium well! I also felt like Chapter 1 had a decent length, considering its bi-weekly release, it didin't feel like we didn't get enough content for the wait.
Maybe I'm just a little too excited about another Digimon series, but I'm very much looking forward to reading more!
Ok for those who read it or don't mind spoilers
Something that really stood out to me is that the Digimon themselves just look really great!
Like I said above, the visual representation of the card game mechanics is done really well, and looks great!
I am also curious if the characters will continue to have multiple partner digimon? I love Muchomon and Junkmon as partners, and I how Pteromon and Shoemon don't completely replace them!
They also set up a decent amount of intrigue-
Owen seems to be famous and popular, but Zenith is a newcomer who quickly rose up! He also participated in the Liberator beta! What kind of person is he, and how did he get to play the beta if he is new to the game?
Who is the pretty mystery girl? Looking at promotional material she appears to be partnered with a Sunalizamon.
What is going on with that rogue NPC?
Why are they chasing Shoemon?
What's up with Pteromon?
What does it mean by "This is my Island!"?
I don't know what to say guys, I'm just happy for more Digimon content in my life
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QUARTER-FINALS MATCH 3
Claude propaganda:
"To say Claude has trust issues is an understatement—you have to spend half the game earning his. (Claude isn't even his real name!) Once you have it, though, he's absolutely ride or die for you until the stars go out. He is so full of heart and ambition: He wants both sides of his heritage to get along, he wants to open borders and eliminate xenophobia and promote equality between commonfolk, and deep down, I think he craves a partner to stand with him at that new dawn, or an equal who sees his vision for the future and will fight for it just as hard. Nobody believed in him when he was a kid, but if you put your faith in him, he'll return it tenfold. Some people don't like that he's calculating, or has to leave the player character at the end of the game to go back to his homeland, but both are necessary elements for his goals to change things. He will always come back, and everyone who bets against him and his love for his companions is wrong with a big fat W. #KhalidForMostDatablePrez"
"Claude is a fun little onion of facades. He calls himself the embodiment of distrust, he acts like he's carefree and without worries, an unscrupulous schemer--and so many in universe buy into that hook line and sinker. He's used to others viewing him with suspicion and uses it as armor to obscure his not-so-dark truth: that he cares immensely, that he values minimizing the loss of life, and that above all he has so much hope that people will fundamentally choose to do better given the choice.
His front guards a center that his conflict filled world would be happy to tear apart. As the child of people from two nations in constant conflict--one of which is explicitly isolationist and dehumanizes those outside its church's reach--he hasn't really had a place where he can be without his facade. As a child he thought he could run, but when confronted with the fact that this hatred existed no matter where he ran, he chose to instead try to create a more just and kind world.
His inability to let others in beyond his facade at first may lead to a sense of distance, but isn't it then all the more satisfying when you're allowed in? All he wants is a little trust, a little faith, and--like what he wants to give everyone--a chance to be better.
And like that you got a charming young lad with a fun personality that your grandma would be thrilled to have stay forever."
Milo propaganda:
“they were in the last contest sure but i feel like they could get farther. like they're literally a nonbinary grim reaper that's also an influencer and sure sometimes the influencer stuff can get kinda overwhelming i feel like it's very clear that they care about you and want to be around you. you guys go on a reaping date. their eyes and nail colour change based on their mood too and i think it's a really cute detail!! also SLIGHT SPOILERS but they even reference rocky horror in their special ending. they are perfect to me and i love them and i believe they deserve a second chance <3”
"Vote for Milo because they deserve it
They're literally so attractive
- They are a social media influencer
- They are obsessed with an adorable little kitty and will do everything in their power to make this cat the most beloved creature in existence
- They love makeovers and helping their friends rebrand (this includes working with Damien and the PC to help Jerry the Murderer rebrand so that they really has a brand identity)
- They are a grim reaper and even help the PC plan the PC's own funeral (special ending) and they give a great speech and it's super sweet
- They will sometimes take the PC on reaping jobs with them and shenanigans ensues
So in summation, vote for Milo because, as I repeat, they deserve it"
#claude von riegan#fire emblem#fire emblem: three houses#FE:3H#milo belladonna#Monster Prom#Monster Camp#Quarter-Finals#MDDC 2
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Not gonna lie, I've been really struggling to write since I wrote my last fic. It kind of feels like all of my writing beans left me when I posted it, but this lil game makes me really want to write.
How many works do you have on ao3?
155 (holy shit????)
What's your total ao3 word count?
682,114
What fandoms do you write for?
Currently? Mostly 9-1-1, but occasionally Teen Wolf stuff
Top five fics by kudos:
1. Queer Robins Club 5246 kudos
DC | Mature | 4.9k words
2. Dustin's Dad(s) 3783 kudos
Steddie | Teen | 5.2k words
3. give me a sign, I want you next to me 2528 kudos
Buddie | Teen | 7k words
4. let me see them tan lines 2399 kudos
Buddie | Teen | 2.8k words
5. On the Ropes 2349 kudos
Sterek | Teen | 5.4k words
Do you respond to comments?
Yes! I try to respond to every comment!
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
With a Whimper probably. It's also the only first person POV fic I've ever written lol.
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Basically all of my fics have happy/hopeful endings? Maybe there ain't no turning back?
Do you get hate on fics?
I have before but not recently!
Do you write smut?
I do :)
Craziest crossover:
Back Alley Deals is a crossover between Batman and Teen Wolf where Stiles goes to Gotham and ends up hooking up with Jason Todd.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yeah a couple times in the Sterek fandom! I don't found out because some friends found them.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes! A few of them have been. I'm always open to translations.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes! There was a Jaytim WIP exchange last year that I took part in.
All time favourite ship?
I can't pick one? Either Sterek or Buddie probably.
What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Right now it feels like all of them, but probably my fic affectionately titled The Repression Symphony where I go through the movements of a symphony and dive into Eddie's religious trauma.
What are your writing strengths?
I think dialogue and descriptions probably.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Endings are hard!
Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
I don't really do it because I only speak English I don't want to use google translate to write it.
First fandom you wrote in?
Harry Potter
Favourite fic you've written?
I can't pick one!!!
give your heart and soul to charity
Teen | 12.5k | Buddie
Eddie finally address his Catholic trauma and guilt.
lay your cards down, down, down
Mature | 6.3k | Buddie
Buck and Eddie wake up married in Vegas
there ain't no turning back
Explicit | 28.3k | Buddie
Buddie healing road trip, my beloved
every road and every highway led me right back to your door
Teen | 2.5k | Sterek
A woman gives Derek a baby and then turns to mist, he calls Stiles.
it hurts to hope for more
Mature | 15.6k | Buddie
Buck experiences a major non-romantic heartbreak and is forced to look at his life in a new way.
Tagged by @honestlydarkprincess @devirnis @dangerpronebuddie @diazsdimples @wikiangela
@jesuiscenseedormir @cal-daisies-and-briars @bi-buckrights @neverevan
No pressure tagging @rosieposiepuddingnpie @inell @sunshinediaz @spagheddiediaz @jeeyuns
@elvensorceress @watchyourbuck @shitouttabuck @thekristen999 @thewolvesof1998
@acountrygirlsfun @actualalligator @tizniz @rainbow-nerdss @eddiebabygirldiaz
@generatorcat @glaciya @withmyteeth @loserdiaz @monsterrae1
@spotsandsocks @underwaterninja13 @steadfastsaturnsrings @jesuisici33 @wildlife4life
and anyone else who wants to share!
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[Yuu joined the game.]
Minecraft Single Player! Yuu AU
Game logic and all carried with them. That is what is about to go down.
Has their entire inventory with them, and has no clue at to what bendable legs are
“Why do I have these weird moving thingies at the end of my arms?” they’re fingers.
There’s not a lot of time to ponder the sudden addition of fingers and toes and stuff when Grim very warmly greets Yuu with some good ol blue fire and a demand for clothing.
Yuu is just so confused. What kind of mob is this??? Can mobs speak??? Did they suddenly go on a modded server in the middle of their sleep?????
Yuu looks down.
THEY HAVE A NEW SKIN??? Where is their other skin??? They didn’t change skins in their sleep, that’s weird as hell!!
Regardless of their very, very befuddled state, Yuu decides what’s best for them and immediately takes Grim as a hostile mob.
“I don’t know what kind of mob you are, but if you can speak you must have some loot!”
Rather than Yuu getting chased by Grim, it’s Grim being chased by Yuu. Yuu has no time to waste on waiting around for a mob to attack them, they need drops and EXP levels. ("When did hostile mobs learn to run?")
Grim gets caught by the clown headmage's whip, and Yuu heeds absolutely no attention to Crowley's scolding words as they marvel at the utterly insane graphics and physics of the whip. It can curve! Curve!! In the air!!!
Dragging Yuu and Grim by the hood and scruff, they enter the ever fabled hall where bad things go down
This entrance ceremony is about to get 1000x more wacky than it should be
“Go on child, tell the mirror your name so you can get sorted properly."
Upon the mirror going, "State thy name." Yuu briefly wonders for a moment if the mirror is a really modded player or a mob.
It wasn't as brief as they thought, because the mirror states once more:
"State thy name."
".. Yuurmom."
Crowley and Riddle are about to throw a fit at the utter lack of decorum until the mirror continues on with its analysis of Yuu rather than berating them for being immature and—good Sevens Yuurmom is actually their name
“The shape of thy soul is… shaped as squarely as the earth. Thy soul is solidified and firm in its position, bending to none other than itself. Therefore, they are suited for no dormitory.”
When Grim comes up and starts spewing fire everywhere and gets Kalim's butt on fire, Yuu prioritizes helping a fellow player by utilizing the beautifully named mlg waterbucket
Things only get crazier because the water source from the bucket is only a foot high which isn’t tall enough to put out Kalim, the water is spreading causing several other Scarabia students in a 8ft square radius to get their feet wet, someone is questioning what kind of magic this is to have a seemingly endless flow of water, and Grim is still wreaking havoc
As soon as they dump that water, Yuu has their sights set on Grim. They want his loot so bad, and their ever-trusty enchanted axe will surely do the job within two hits if one is critical.
Was it mentioned that handheld, sharp weapons are not allowed on campus grounds unless given special permission?
Crowley does not know who he should worry about more, the raging fire-spewing cat or the axe-swinging first year student(?) who’s somehow running and jumping around without bending their knees
The orderly Riddle Rosehearts and opportunistic Azul hardly hesitate to begin trying to settle the issue, as they always do
Current issue: Riddle Rosehearts cannot restrain a weapon if it is not created from magic, so even as he goes, “Off With Your Head!” to Yuu and Grim, Yuu’s axe isn’t gone and they’re still swinging
Grim would have met a grim fate had it not been for Crowley’s infuriated intervention with his Love Whip yanking him out of the axe’s path
“WHAT do you think you are doing to this familiar?!”
("I ain't no familiar!")
The Entrance Ceremony has gone terribly. A student(?) woke up late, disrupted the ceremony only for them to NOT be sorted into any dorm with an extremely abnormal analysis of their soul, the Headmage brought in a flame-throwing cat that set everything on fire, Kalim's ass is burnt, there is solid square water spread around Scarabia's standing place soaking the students around it, and said late-waking student(?) is recklessly swinging an axe at the fire-throwing cat
Also the student(?) is jumping. Without bending their legs. They are jumping and running without bending their legs, they also are swinging an axe without bending their arms. Their entire body is a rigid as a pole and at some point it is questioned if this student is even human
At this point, Yuu has presented themselves as enough of a threat that Housewardens Vil and Leona are forced to intervene. Handheld weapons, regardless of user, are not to be equipped or carried on campus for student safety (though one of the two might not be ready to admit that they care for their students’ safety)
Leona knocks Yuu(rmom) out. One firm uppercut, an oddly masculine, "OOF!", the whole body of the student(?) flashing red, and they are down for the next few hours. In the meantime, NRC staff and Housewardens have to figure out what to do with an unyielding soul, their axe, and the seemingly infinite water that they've put down.
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i complained about fiver needing new pants and actual insane person (affectionate) @chasing-kitsune spent like 3 million gil and bought me an entire new outfit of high level gear so now we're in fiver's jean jacket era
#i was going to glamour it but this outfit actually kind of rips#so we'll stick with it for a while#i'm going to actually do the endwalker patch quests tomorrow#cause i just started thinking about fiver last night and wanted to play some ffxiv#figured i might as well actually do new stuff#and thanks to atom single handedly boosting my ilvl by 51 points i don't have to worry about being too low anymore jskfdlngs#i need a new bow#but i'll get one by accident that's how i get all my weapons in this game#i'm SO rusty at this game also jfslkdngs#i loaded into a trust dungeon to try and get new pants and also to practice being a bard again and jesus christ i've forgotten how to play#i got back into my rhythm by the end of the dungeon but i'm so glad trust exists so no real humans had to see that#fel's ffxiv#oc: fiver#hiiii fiver i missed you
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a little pain now, to save a great deal more pain later
[flintlock fortress is a collaboration with @dxppercxdxver]
#em draws stuff#flintlock fortress#team fortress 2#blood#today on the em cupola show: wild self-indulgence. but hey I feel Bad so I'll draw what I Like. and today that's medical procedures.#someone leaned over my shoulder while I was drawing this and asked 'is that bloodletting' and they were Almost Right so I'm endlessly proud#in fact it is smallpox inoculation!#sorry to everyone who I have bothered with my Smallpox Talk in recent memory but It Will Happen Again.#the game style itself is kind of rockwell and leyendecker-y to me so I wanted to do something with a similar look to their work#had a lot of goals for this piece and I think I really did achieve all of them quite nicely#could I keep these guys recognizable without showing their full faces? yes I think so!#could I make 'getting a mild case of smallpox with the lads' seem a bit romantic even? yes to that too.#also. scout tattoos make an appearance. (do not go looking for them in any other art of him on account of I Forgor)#and a new look for ansel (this man dresses Boring but that is no fun for me to draw)#'backstory relevant' I say as I do not discuss any of these guys' backstories again.#'that's for us to know and for you to find out' I say while giving you no way at all to find out#have been in a constant state of 'by gosh having a little less blood in me would make this situation better' for several days now#and while I am using Normal methods to improve the situation drawing such things does work a bit to heal the mind#'we're doing just fine' says local guy who is madly drawing the same guys over and over again
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NINNAAAA WHATS SPCD STAND FOR??
oh, it's not that exciting, it's actualy awful. i mentioned it towards the tail end of chapter five of rm. it's basically what cartman used to call kyle when they were growing up. a really cruel fucked up nickname.
the s.p.c.d,
or rather,
the south park city dump. :(
the sp boys used to be fucking horrible to kyle because cartman ruled their elementary/middle school. and when cartman and the boys saw kyle in the hallway they were like "what are you doing here, broflovski? trash day's tomorrow" or omg whenever he walked ANYWHERE they made the "Beep! Beep! Beep!" trash truck noises, but worst of all was that they used to dump out...Full Trashcans On Him. like spoiled milk, rotted food stuffs, glass bottles that werent put in recycling, crushed aluminum cans that cut his cheeks, all kinds of awful, foul smelling sludge...sigh. :/ ily so much baby jersey.
also, if you want to cry extra hard, i think that being covered in all that disgusting lunchroom trash, feeling it soak thru his shirt, stink down to the skin, pool around his shoes, get buried in his hair -- just feeling that dirty and disgusting and Unclean was one of the factors that made his ocd so severe and it's a large part as to why he takes scorching showers and rubs his skin raw bc especially if he smells something weird or its trash day, he gets triggered & has to SCRUB.
but anygays! you bet your ass that tiny lil stan was giving them ALL the business rippin around on his bike brandishing his hockey stick like a big sword, running them out of town and back to their mommas crying and screaming bloody murder all in that giant wayne gretsky *ravenstan vc* yersey...they were SCARED, lolllll!!!
which is a very interesting juxtaposition to sweet, gentle stan very lovingly picking all the food debris out of his kyles beautiful curly whirly hair before marching him over to the bathroom where while kyle showers, stan always sits on the toliet bc their running joke is that kyle might drown ( yes yersey also can't swim ) while stan listens to rock n colors his nails in w/ sharpie or stolen nail polish from shell.
and he's just like "dude, Fuck them, kyle! those fkn gilipollas are just mad because theyre all total perros and you're the most handsome guy in school, hands down." wHICH? AAA??? tbf stan does say shit like that all the time & Means It bc ravenstan has loved jers from the moment he Heard him but kyle thinks he's fuckin w/ him
bc haha!
very fun joke, stan! hit on the weird, overweight, clunky, awkward, nerdy loser boy to make him feel better about himself! great joke, bro!
bUT ITS NOT A JOKE, BESTIE!!!!
HE WANTS TO KISS YOU SO BAD!!!!!!!!
not them both bein secretly and painfully in love with each other but convinced that acting on their feelings would ruin their friendship/be unrequited and both of them being like "he is perfect, what would he want with a fuckin Loser like me?" :/ </3 WERE IN HELL!!!
regardless of thinking it was a joke, it totally made kyle blush, my rosecea king and stan was sooo nervous like oh my god, you are SO stupid, stanley marsh!!!!! guapo??? gUAPO BITCH??!!!! ARE U ACTUALLY INSANE!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??!!!
i love nervous ass tiny stan with his massive universe sized crush on kyle broflovski that he carries around in his black jansport backpack at all times...along with the weight of the world, ofc. we know this.
but anyways..off topic.
closing thoughts?
fuck you fartman.
-uncle nina, tiny but big baby jersey kyle defense club
( don't touch my sweet son!!! MY BABY!!!!! )
p.s. i'm sorry i just started making new sections without warning. i wanted a way to post about what the boys looked or acted like during different periods of their lives -- so like, satana ( which is what stans mom called him ) refers to the period of time before the fire and kyle's 'the s.p.c.d.' section also refers to that period of time.
it's cool you guys are so perceptive tho! i hope you like them <333 you're always welcome to ask me questions about them xx
#the spcd nickname always makes me want to cry#i love you baby jersey kyle he is my angel#the world was so cruel to him#just for being fat too like#everyone who has ever hurt jersey can go hell right after they meet with me and i beat the living shit out of them...til they Die#stan was mad over protective too and stan was weird but he had Clout from being pretty so he was like IF I SEE THAT SHIT AGAIN ITS OVER#and then goes to lovingly tend to kyle like dude im so sorry you dont deserve this shit look im gonna tell their moms#and theyre gonna get so busted and have to pay you back for al your clothes...then we pretend to hit the gap and go to good will instead#and use the rest to buy tokens at the arcade or buy the new mario game and see who can finish a pizza faster its me btw#theyre in love ur honor like why didnt i give them a chance like they were...so married#ALSO AN ANON ASKED ME ABOUT BALLET KY#YES JERSEY TOOK BALLET it wasn't his idea it was an accident bc they were marking electives#and ballet was RIGHT next to basketball and then basketbal got full and sheila was like I ALREADY BOUGHT YOU SHOES UR GOING#and like at first it was really awkward but i think kyle actually really liked the structure of ballet and when u dance beautifully#what he found is that no one had anything to say about his weight just that his pirouette was perfect it was freeing#he dropped it during the kyley b era#but picked it up again in college and its kind of a form of self harm and he fucks up his feet very badly trying to be perfect#also hes like fuck all those people who laughed at me im perfect now im fucking perfect i have to show them i have to be the best#sigh...kyle kyle kyle...ill elaborate on that more in one of the ballet kyle asks but kyle loves ballet and going to preformances#ice skating and dainty refined stuff which is cute bc theyre very nosm like jers on ice skates and stan w the hockey stick during winter
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Knowing that 2hu is primarily a shmup game, have you tried the shmup games yourself? I gave shmups a first try recently and they’re frustrating me to no end.
I've 1cced all the mainlines on Normal or higher except HRtP (Easy) and EoSD (I don't respect it enough to give it my time, so I used a scorefile and beat the Extra stage instead) and given all of the photo games the old college try. I have been a Touhou fan for a while, you know?
Anyway, just keep beating your head against it. Use bombs. Liberally.
#i've been an actual touhou fan- as in engaging with the original works- since 2016#i kind of had to get to the games if i wanted new stuff to enjoy during no print work release droughts#i couldn't get eosd to work even with vsync for the longest time. it's not just the annoying fanworks causing disrespect#(this was pre-vsync for PCB too so sometimes my computer would get haunted by a button pressing ghost)
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feeling sick constantly in the background all the time is like.. usually negligible-ish.. until multiple various chronic background issues all happen to overlap at once and then it’s like
#Like usually I cycle between like. joint pain issues. chest muscle injury stuff. back pain. stomach problems. headaches. etc.#There is never a day that I feel totally normal for the most part. but it's usually just little things here and there on and off#chronic things that seem to flare up sometimes. But then every once in a while it's like the flare ups align and I'll have 6 of the problems#at the same time and then is AaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#For some reason it's okay to deal with one or two of these things at any given time. but if I have to deal with like 3+ at once#or two of the old ones plus one NEW thing I've never had before or etc. etc.#I just can't even do anything. I run around stressed out of my mind unable to focus on any tasks or do anything but feel bad#then I cant even play games or do fun stuff becuause my brain wont let me be distracted from fixating on the fact that I feel bad#It's kind of the same way that it's stressful for me to go into grocery stores because my brain LITERALLY just is not capable of tuning out#all of the noises and lights and sensory information - so it' gets overwhelming quickly. I also just literally cannot tune out sensory infor#mation from my body. so if something feels even a LITTLE weird or a LITTLE painful or is even slightly different than usual#especially if it's overlapping with multiple other 'low level chronic pain' type things then my brain is just like.. being given way too muc#h information that it still cant tune out and then I can't focus and just walk around in a daze for however long until one of the issues#goes away on it's own (like joint pain flare ups usually come and go etc. etc.). or until I see a doctor abut whatever the new thing is#and maybe something they do or say actually helps or etc. etc.#Idk I have SO SO much I want to do the beginning of the year and so many projects to finish and things to post and schedules I have#written out for me to get on (like excercising more consistently and etc.) and it's just furstrating for my brain to just be like#ah.. nope.. we are not doing that. instead we are going to be completely incapacitated by a host of physical issues#which I think most ''normal people'' would just ignore like ''oh yeah I'll just load myself up on ibuprophen and coffee and energy#drinks and advil and sleep supplements and this and that'' or whatever but I can't do that it just makes stuff worse. I have to just sit for#days having a mind battle like 'okay yes we're having these problems.. but we can still like.. do SOMETHING right? we could like.. write#or draw. or things that don't take much energy'' and brain is just like NO!!! WE CANT!!! BECAUSE!! THING IS WEIRD!!!' and it's like okay#but thing is going to be weird. there's nothing we can do about thing being weird right now. so we should just focus on something else#'NO!! CANNOT TUNE OUT THING BEING WEIRD!! lets just fixate on it instead and wander aimlessly from thing to thing never able#to fully focus on any other task. hee hee''. anyway. hhghh.. sometimes I just get tired of having Various Ailments at any given time#especially unexplained ones or weird recurring problems that doctors haven't done much about because then it lends to paranoia like#'what if something is seriously wrong but I just dont know it yet?' which could be the case. I mean hopefully not. but I just hate stuff#being unexplained. because if there's no clear answer then the answer could be anything. even somehting bad. *** :V#ANYWAY gghhb... just bothered at the moment. I was going to come here like 'hey maybe I could post some drafts or pictures or something that#could feel productive!' but.. i dont feel like it. i dont care. too focused on Bad Feeling. just going to complain instead lol
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#pidge speaks#so dec is a 3 paycheck month for me#and bc of that i already have my rent for next month put aside#which means IN THEORY most of my next paycheck can be tucked into savings#and depending on what my christmas bonus looks like this year?#i might#MIGHT#be able to try and get a pc#and if i do that i might be able to get bg3 sometime after the new year#my coworker has even said theyd help me build it#i dont need anything too fancy#i am basically judt in it for a bg3/sims machine#i dont rly play a lot of big deal triple a games#and i dont need like crazy good reaction time stuff bc i dont like FPS and have shit reflexes anyway lmao#but idk#im afraid to get my hopes up#but i am legit getting so fucking sad the longer i got without being able to play#ive been waiting for three years#ive had my character ready for three years#idk i just have had a kind if shitty year and i want something nice for once#so fingers crossed
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what if you banged out three pretty good arcs back to back, finally getting rid of that one character you don't like very much in the process, and then as soon as you were out of easy callback material to that first really good arc, you started writing a series of largely unrelated battles connected by rules that are both overcomplicated and flimsy, populated by characters that are irrelevant, underutilised, or both, in a setting that completely nukes a bunch of the ideas you were originally trying to explore. what then
#every day i think abt how much time was wasted on......... well we just don't know actually. turns out all that time we used trying to buy#rules for the overcomplicated system was just kind of silly. whoops! great job anyway tho guys we'll just have this brand-new character#fix our problems right here and now and then go away forever. did you know that the mangaka said he wanted to be done with this series#within the next year and a half because i sure remember! how about that random US/CN military plotline that got thrown in at the end?#anybody else remember that? how about the amount of time we had for that random french guy to get steamrolled by hakari? surely that#time wouldn't have been better spent letting tsukumo yuki DO ANYTHING right?#i am being so fr when i say that the culling games arc was a Bad Choice for some of the stuff gege made a big deal out of before#jujutsu society sucks ass and to expand upon this topic i am going to blow it up so there's nothing to talk about anymore. Cool#and then he just flubbed the interpersonal themes too by sidelining them for most of the arc in favour of Cool Fights With Strangers#it just bums me out man#vposting#jjk spoilers
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cutting commentary?
dead space remake adds nonbinary character and all-gender restrooms but keeps promotional article about the ishimura containing the phrase "the men and women who serve aboard her" unaltered from the original
#dead space#(i don't think it's commentary) i think it's either they didn't think about it OR#they didn't want to be /too/ overtly 'divisive' right at the beginning of the game bc that's the second text log you find#& the stuff about jacob being bi or rousseau being NB are buried much farther in the game and the jacob one especially is extremely missabl#they 100% knew the all gender restrooms would get people up in arms im sure that it was a calculated decision not just to do it but also#where /not/ to push the envelope#that or they didn't register the contradiction#it definitely um mirrors the experience of being a trans person workin for a big company lmao#reminds me of how my work's employee handbook had a whole section about how they handle transition in the workplace (!!)#and the title of that section was 'office transgender'#i.e. 'look how inclusive we are! no we haven't actually talked to any trans people why do you ask?'#(it doesn't say that anymore bc me and another nb coworker went through and compiled a ton of suggestions that eventually got integrated in#the new handbook bc the whole section was kind of a mess)
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Fandom things I'm looking forward to:
Kingdom Hearts IV and Missing Link
Final Fantasy VII Rebirth
Final Fantasy IX Remake
Final Fantasy Tactics Remaster or Remake (whichever it is. I've heard both things)
The fourth Madoka Magica movie, whenever that comes out (seriously. Where is it? First it was announced as the Concept movie. Then it was re-announced years later with a new name, and it's still missing)
The Percy Jackson TV show
The Infernal Devices TV show
Maybe the Twilight TV show. Maybe.
The animated Smallville continuation that Tom Welling and Michael Rosenbaum are working on, whenever it comes out
I was going to put Baron and Toluca on this list (that's, like, a spiritual successor to the OG "Roswell" TV show. Majandra Delfino who played Maria in the show wrote the script, and she and Brendan Fehr who played Michael star in it. They're also planning for more Roswell cameos in later episodes), but it came out and I didn't even know it? But I have no idea how to watch it, though, as I guess it only came out in theaters in Albuquerque. Here's hoping it comes out on DVD or something...
The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes
The alleged Firefly reboot
The new Daredevil show
The Batman Part II
The next part in Tom Holland's Spider-Man movies
The DCU, starting with Superman Legacy in 2025
The Five Nights at Freddy's movie and Help Wanted 2
The Iron Lung movie
The TV show that it sounds like Markiplier will be working on after he's done with the Iron Lung movie
The next Bendy and the Ink Machine thing being worked on
MAYBE the Hello Neighbor sequel. I know. I KNOW! (It's really only because the second game had to end on a cliffhanger.)
Five Nights at Candy's 4
Frozen III
Disney's "Wish"
The next and final season of the Clear Card arc of Cardcaptor Sakura
The new Avatar series (the one about the third Avatar in the cycle: the Earth bender)
The live-action Avatar: The Last Airbender series, perhaps
The Chosen season 4
#As for things that haven't been announced#Ffxvi when that of course happens#The ffx remake if that rumor is true#I'm still hoping we'll get one more season of full metal panic to finish off the show. Please don't end things on a cliffhanger!#And no matter what I'll forever and always be pulling for a twewy3. Please give it to us Square. Pretty Please? With sugar on top?#I also still (mostly? Kind of?) wish we had a new Buffy show to look forward to. but alas. maybe someday#also after khiv nomura's all but confirmed that next is a verum Rex. And I'm. Like. Already pre-excited for that if that makes sense. Lol#And I don't know how to feel about the new death note movie adaptation I want to have faith in the Russo brothers but mostly I'm afraid#And I just- I LOVE death note. You all KNOW I love death note. But I just don't know what can be done with the story that hasn't already#been done#Unless you just completely change it and then piss off all of us fans. Again#I said it once and I'll say it again: i wish they were making a code grass movie instead (which has the beats they're looking to adapt in#death note. but other stuff too. and has never gotten a live-action adaptation so at least if nothing else it would be original)#there's also a part of me that wants to get caught up on winx club and see if this new season (that's maybe a soft reboot? but don't quote#me on that) will be better than some of the last ones and start getting the series in the direction in needs to be going again. hopefully#and isn't there some new pokémon season coming out where brock and misty reunite with ash (i read an article about it) which confuses me#because i thought the show ended?#unless the article was just talking about an english dub of the season that already aired in japan or something like that#i also should really get caught up on all of the sailor moon crystal stuff. shame on me for not being so!#somewhat. kind of. the next garten of banban game. God help me#kindergarten 3 if there ever is one#slayers: a buffyverse story would have been on here if they hadn't announced it after i made this list and if i'd remembered to come back#and add it. but i listened to it and loved it:)
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please do not read the tags i am being insane at 10pm on a sunday night
#thinking. perhaps even thoughting. thunking.#<- new tag because i am Insane#anyways shipping disease is real etc etc but. i love luke hughes because i also love brandt clarke#and i want to put them together like two barbie dolls !!!#listen LISTEN luke/brandt is like me and two other people in the fucking boat but it's such a good one#it's also completely made up in my head but. well. look.#luke/brandt is the only appealing hughes ship to me! i dont know why!#quinn/elias does not do anything 2 me (quinn/elias/brock DOES but also not a. ccanucks fan)#no jack ship inspires me Enough but he and nico are kind of cute?#but luke and brandt bitch4bitch... oh that's good stuff right there mhmm 100%#it's just. it's the way luke is such a peculiar and funky little guy like of course#he had to go... not fall in love but something to the left and darker than that with the boy he used to beat up during ministicks#also hilarious how they're both dmen! opposite sides too! wow you could put them togeth-[gets shot]#i think soecifically the idea of examining luke and his little guy bitch vibes via brandt i#who is also little guy bitch and them being narrative foils 2 each other when they are Not the same person its like WOW!!!#i want to write (no i dont i want to read actually) about luke and his tenacity when confronted with a bite that's just as bad as his#luke and his youngest brother weight of expectations successful brother vs brandt being the best clarke at hockey in his family#they're around the same point imo in their development curve and its going to be SUCH a battle i know#because they play similar games#and i think brandt heightens luke's competitiveness! and his competitiveness is part of what makes him- HIM!#in conclusion i am going to watch lak vs njd even though i do not like any of these teams in the slightest!
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ok now that ive had a couple of hours to sit on it the new conversation with buzzo at the ending of joyful sucks absolute ass. i liked the rest of the new content Specially the new boss in painful but the stuff with buzzo is..............................
#wheres the nuance the care the love thats on the rest of the game#if we take what buddy says at face value its weird cause she barely knows who lisa is#so how could she know what kind of relationship she had with buzzo#and if we take it as buddy somehow channeling the spirit of lisa to spill that stuff its probably even worse#cause like whats the point of every other interaction between buzzo and lisa then#i sort of get the idea that they wanted to portray buzzo as a pathetic man but like. he already was#just maybe not in the same way as other pathetic characters#this mans been hung up on the same thing for his entire life but like. it was a life changing event. it Was traumatic#he blames everyone except the person that was actually hurting lisa and keeps taking some kind of fucked up responsability over it#even tho he was a child at the time too#hes not cool for deciding to carry out a lifelong revenge against someone that was as against the wall as he was#like i just dont get what was the point of it all#to rub it in that hes not over lisa after all this time? as if it want already obvious?#and the entire conversion is so awkwardly written#like i dont remember the exact line but when buddy says she knows cause shes a woman#as shown in literally the next post credits scene she doesnt know what a mother is but she has lived the Normal girl experience#honestly being a hater here but it doesnt feel like they would say that#speciallt after how good the rest of the new content is#the campfire conversations are wonderful and all the stuff from painfuls secret boss really fleshes out brad a lot more#Anyways i liked the de stuff but the price hike and the bugs and this really spoils the experience#at least the old version of the game is still there
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