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chososdiscordkitten · 4 months

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MDNI

Pt 1 here

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x fem!reader Content: no use of y/n, SOME plot, read pt 1 for context, BREEDING KINK, PREGNANCY and BABY TRAPPING, unestablished relationship, reader has an iud that Gojo is NOT a fan of, manipulating, reader is a lil dumb lol, talk of birth control and hiding it, creampies 24/7, mentions of NURSING and BRESTFEEDING, 'wife' used like twice Word count: 3.3k

(a.n) I kept getting asked for pt 2 so here it is. more plot, not so much smut this time lol

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It had been 3 months since Gojo came to the conclusion that pregnancy was the solution to his fear of you finding someone else. Seeing you come out of the bathroom, a bath towel wrapped around you as small droplets fell from your neck.

Looking at you bewildered as though this was the greatest disappointment he had ever felt. You were talking about something- something irrelevant to the issue at hand.

Why you weren't swelling with his child right now. Why you were denying him- the world of the next generation of Gojo babies.

And it’s not like he could keep letting out those little ‘get pregnant’ comments while he fucked you, often contemplating asking you to gag him so they wouldn’t slip. You had your suspicions, not outwardly saying it but if one more little comment fell from him you'd be forced to ask.

Satoru was sure that your medical state wasn't an issue, he carefully combed through your medical records to find any sort of reason as to why you weren't pregnant. One appointment 3 years ago for an iud insertion, and one appointment to get it removed a few weeks after you met him.

And it's not like he was the issue here, he made sure he was fine in that aspect. Gojo was sure he was fine- and you had no issues with getting pregnant.

So, the solution to his fear needed a solution too. No problem, this just meant he had to fuck you even more now. More often, and even move you into his apartment. Permanently.

He was hung up in his own little world as his eyes burned holes through your damp skin. “Are you okay?” you asked, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows.

Gojo quickly fixed his face as he looked at you with a smile, “M’just thinking about havin you move into my place.” He hummed, folding his arms to rest beneath his head. Eyes following your expression as you waited for him to continue, “You're already here all the time~” he hummed, you raised your eyebrows in defense.

“That's because you can't keep your hands off of me for longer than an hour.” you laughed as he pursed his lips, feeling like he was being scolded in that moment. Knowing you meant it as a joke- but it was true.

No matter how many showers- how many breaks. Satoru was always ready to go again, and again, and again. Praying that this time will be the one. Gojo daydreamed of coming home to you, breasts swelled with milk to welcome his child into the world.

Glow on your skin and tummy growing his child. Twins, he'd fantasize. “We should just get married while we're at it.” he’d joke, knowing if he kept bringing it up, you'd cave. Knowing you weren't the kind of person to co-parent.

But those daydreams were always cut short. Whenever he'd message you saying he wanted to see you, only for you to tell him you were on your period.

We all know that never stopped him, but the disappointment knowing his attempts were in vain, always made him try even harder next time.

And yes you did question his constant need to fuck you, at times fully skipping prep and pushing into you- knowing you didn’t really need it since you had cleaned yourself up from the last round not to long ago.

How he'd bite his tongue whenever you'd ask him to cum inside. And I mean lets be real, when has Gojo ever bit his tongue during sex?

All but telling you to ‘shut up’ when you’d whisper in his ear, “Fill me up-” knowing if you didn't, he'd start babbling words that had been boxed up at the back of i his mind.

That one time Gojo let them slip, the sight of your cunt swallowing his cock greedily, the words pushed themselves past his lips forcefully.

“Get pregnant” he demanded of you, only you didn't listen. You found it an odd thing to say- sure. But knowing him, he’s said worse things in the heat of the moment.

You always chalked up Satoru’s babbles before he came as meaningless words, knowing you shouldn't hold him to the promises and threats he'd make before he came.

Gojo’s made empty proposals into your ears before, “S-so good, m-” he hesitated, a low whine leaving his lips by just thinking about what he was about to say, “-marry me hm?~” he’d whisper as he overstimulated your senses.

Making sure you kept your eyes open to look at him, taking in the desperate sight of his forming ‘o’ face. Ears being fully invaded by the vulgar squelching from his hips slapping against the back of your thighs, and his unforgiving whines and moans.

Both of your hands gripping tightly on his back, knowing you'd leave raised marks on his skin. So caught up in your own orgasm you'd say ‘yes’ to any of his questions right now.

And there was nothing Satoru liked more than asking you questions when you were close to cumming, fully taking advantage of you not being able to think straight.

Even if you had just gotten out of the shower, freshly cleaned from the last round. He'd still toss that useless towel off of you and go again, making sure to keep you on the edge- not fully giving in to your pleads and you urging him to hurry up.

Relishing in the idea that round after round, unable to count just how many times he's cum inside of you that weekend- you're still up for more.

“You wanna go get tested together?” he asked you randomly one morning, making you look at him with furrowed eyes.

“Do I have to get tested?” you asked, unknowing that he had other sexual partners. Satoru let out a small laugh at your accusatory tone.

“No.” he smiled playfully, “I just thought it would be fun.” He hummed. And as he requested, you and him ended up in a clinic. Getting tested for any diseases or any issues.

And Gojo insisted he stay in the room as the nurse asked you the embarrassing questions. Sitting on the uncomfortable exam table, fiddling with your thumbs and thinking of how stupid it was to do this after months of having unprotected sex.

Looking over at Satoru and seeing a smile on his lips as you heard the paper wrinkle below you.

“Are you sexually active?” the overworked nurse flashed her eyes to you above the clipboard. You sighed, “Yes.” Looking over at his smug smile.

“What kind? Oral, vaginal, anal?” she asked, looking at you. This would've been fine if it was just you and the nurse, but having Gojo in the room with you made this even more humiliating.

“Uh-” you hesitated, eyes flashing to Satoru and back to the nurse. “...All?” you hesitated, shrinking in your seat when you heard her check three boxes with the pen in her hand.

“How many people have you had sex with in the past six months?” she asked nonchalantly, obviously having bigger issues in the world than what was happening in this room right now.

“One.” you answered, making Gojo’s chest swell with pride, knowing you were being faithful- even if there wasn't a label on what he was to you.

“In the last 12 months?” the nurse asked, you sighed, looking over at his smug face. “One.” your tone was a little more stern, knowing if you had said anything else this would've ended in a very different way.

“Are you or your partner trying to get pregnant?” the nurse flashed her eyes to Gojo, seeing him mouth a quiet ‘yes’

“No.” you answered, making the nurse look back at you and check no on the clipboard.

“Are you or your partner using contraceptives or birth control?” the nurse exhaled, your hands between your knees, ‘no’ Satoru answered the question mentally.

“Yes.” you answered honestly, making him furrow his eyebrows and snap his eyes to you. You looked at him, turning your head as though you were asking him ‘what?’

“What kind?” the nurse asked, looking at you directly.

“I've had an iud for 3 years.” you looked back at her, hearing her write down on the paper. Satoru’s mind started remembering the online records he read, he was so sure he saw an appointment for a removal on them.

“Any plans on removal, or renewing?” she asked, side eyeing Gojo who muttered a quiet ‘yes’

“No.” you scoffed, looking at the nurse thinking he was just trying to be funny, “I had an appointment for removal- but I didn't go.” you admitted, looking over at Gojo who was suddenly sitting very stiff.

“Okay-” the nurse started, clipping the pen into her pocket and taking a step back towards the door- “The doctor will be in soon.” The nurse gave a fake smile before stepping out of the small examination room.

A soul killing silence was in the room, mentally Gojo was scolding you for not telling him.

“Why didn't you get ‘it’ removed?” referring to the pesky little thing inside of you, you furrowed your eyebrows.

You tried remembering why you didnt go, “Hmm,” you pondered, looking at him, seeing an opportunity to lighten the heavy tension in the room. “I met you and somehow I knew I'd need it.” you joked, making him let out a sarcastic laugh.

“Besides, you didn't really think I was letting you finish inside of me without birth control…Right?” you asked, raising your eyebrows.

That's exactly what Gojo thought, he thought that you loved him enough to not care about the repercussions that followed his addiction of cumming inside of you.

Satoru was silent, “Right?” you asked again, throwing him from his train of thought.

He stuttered, “I-I just don't remember you mentioning it.” he gave you a half smile, already plotting how he'd convince you to remove it.

“You never asked.” you scoffed, dangling your feet from the examining table, with a smile you looked at him. “And it's a good thing-” you huffed, “If I didn't have it- your apartment would be crawling with a bunch of Gojo toddlers.” You joked with a laugh.

The thought made his heart crack, picturing all of the wasted cum he's pumped into you. His pouting lip for the rest of the appointment worried you, not hearing anymore dumb comments or seeing him smile anymore. In your mind, you thought that maybe he didn't like that you hid this from him.

That to his sensitive feelings, this was a sort of betrayal. To Satoru this was just another hurdle he'd have to jump over to achieve his goal.

On the drive back to his place you held onto the negative tests from both of you. Gojo was thinking of all the ways he'd be able to convince you to remove it, even thinking about including Mei in his plans. Knowing if the words came from another woman, you'd hear them more clearly than if they came from him.

All it would take was a few bucks and she’d play along with his plans, yeah. That's a good idea.

He wanted to call Mei right there as he was driving, urging her to call you and tell you how bad iud’s were for your health. But he knew this idea would have to be nursed in your mind with time. ‘1? No, 2 months is more than enough time.’

Eventually you were convinced that iud’s were the devil, with Mei telling you horror stories about them in one ear, and ads on your phone showing birth control pills as an alternative from how much you were speaking about this.

You knew that Satoru wouldn't go back to using condoms, the conversation of asking him to use them would be futile.

So you got it removed, with Gojo telling you that it's for the best. “That poor little thing was probably working overtime heh~” he’d whisper into your ear. Taking one pill a day was tedious, but you did it for your own health.

Even if Satoru joked that- “You don't even need any birth control~” you still took it. Everyday for the first month.

Of course, Gojo was elated at his success. Knowing that the small pack of pills were easier to hide than something that was inside of you.

And with staying at his place more often than not- leaving the pack of pills in your bag became an unsecure hiding place. Oftentimes finding the pack in odd places that you certainly did not put them. When you wouldn't be able to find them, you'd ask him if he's seen them. Making him nod his head ‘no’ with a content smile.

Ultimately leading you to miss one or two days of taking the pill. And that led you to forgetting if you had taken a pill that day or not, but checking the pack, and seeing there was one missing from that day, you knew you did. Unknowing that Satoru was punching out the small pill and tossing it, knowing how forgetful you were at times.

The hopes of you being forgetful weren't the only thing he was counting on. Satoru made sure to keep a steady routine of intercourse after any activity.

Breakfast? He'd push you against the counter and kiss you- humming into your mouth before pulling away. “You taste like syrup-” he whispered against you. Making you let out a small giggle before connecting your lips to his once more.

Not caring if the half eaten pancakes would go cold, Satoru would gladly empty himself into you over and over again on the same counter he was just making breakfast on.

Morning, noon, and night he filled you up. And it's not like you had any second thoughts, besides it's like Satoru justified it.

“It just takes a little bit of water nd soap and you're clean again.” whenever you told him you didn't want to make a mess. Saying that sheets can be cleaned whenever he’d dirty them.

“Mops exist.” he’d defend whenever his seed would spill out of you and land on the floor.

If he was being honest, just knowing his cum was being spilled made his soul cry. So he found a solution to this problem. Cockwarming. It was perfect in his mind, being able to stay inside of you till he was sure his load had more than enough time to impregnate you. Now having a fondness for keeping you plugged up afterwards.

Not letting you clean up by saying, “Let's just stay like this.” he’d hum in your ear, holding you close as he pretended to go to sleep. And knowing how stubborn he was- like a perfect future wife, you'd let him.

As much as he liked to take all the credit, fate finally granted him his wish. And it was as he pictured it.

Satoru noticed a shimmering glow on your cheekbones long before you did, he felt the difference in the way your breasts filled his hands.

The way you'd cover your nose whenever you smelled something he didn't notice. The random mornings you wake up and run straight to the bathroom.

The mere image of you potentially being pregnant made Gojo want to pull you under him again. He would never admit it to you- but the idea of your breasts full of milk, so full that they'd leak- it drove him mad.

His mouth would suddenly feel very empty and dry anytime he thought of it. Trailing thoughts as he heard you speak, wondering if you'd ever let him taste it- ‘just to taste’ he’d think. Knowing damn well he'd keep asking for a taste over and over again.

Satoru was so sure he could convince you to let him nurse on your breast. Picturing you complaining on how full they felt- how painful it would be. Only for him to happily offer his assistance, “I just want to help,” he'd tell you.

And you being the perfect wife you are, you'd let him. Satoru relished the thought that you'd grant any of his wishes, no matter how filthy they were. Even thinking about it had him reeling for a taste- leading him to aimlessly suck on your breast harshly.

Wishing for something to come out prematurely, eyes rolling to the back of his head as you cradled his face in your lap, your other hand stroking his cock softly as you unknowingly played into his fantasies.

On one weekend that Gojo was out of town, you picked up a test. Fearing the small changes happening in your own body. Placing the small stick on the bathroom counter, hands held together almost in prayer, ‘pleasepleaseplease.’ you muttered to yourself.

Over consuming anxiety flooding your mind as you saw the blinking halt- ‘Pregnant’ the test read. You exhaled sharply, closing your eyes and feeling the world come crashing down on your shoulders.

Unbeknownst to Satoru, you thought this would be the last straw. Thinking he couldn't busy himself with a child, let alone have a child out of wedlock- not even in a relationship.

Not even sure about your own place in this world, now considering bringing a child into it. You thought up every single horrible scenario that could happen if you presented him with the stick. Not even recalling all the sweet words he'd tell you.

The ‘ I love you’s ‘ that came straight from his heart when he'd fuck you. All the joking futures he’d picture with you.

Somehow you saw him as every cruel man you met before him. Doubts of ‘if I was enough, he wouldn't just be a situationship.’ unfolding in your mind as you blame yourself for this accident.

You inhaled, remembering to not overthink. To not assume till you spoke to him. So you waited. You waited in his place, on his couch. The white and blue stick wrapped in a napkin as you clutched it in your pocket. Waiting for him to unlock the door and step through at any moment.

You snapped your head to the moving doorknob, seeing him bust through the doorway with a happy smile. Seeing you as he pictured you all those times. Tear stained cheeks, shaky hands and pouting lips. Hurrying to you asking ‘whats wrong?’

“Sit.” you croaked, closing your eyes with a sigh as you felt him sit next to you. Pulling out your hand from your pocket, unwrapping the napkin and placing the stick on the table.

“I'm pregnant.” you whimpered, eyes tearing up as you saw his face go unchanged. The corner of his lips threatening to curl into a smile. “What do I do ‘toru? Tell me what to do.” a hot tear fell from your eye, fearing that he’d toss you aside with a few hundred dollars to take care of it.

“Why’re you cryin?” he hummed, wrapping an arm around you. You let out a struggling breath.

“I just-” you inhaled, “I'm so scared.” you cried, pressing your face to his chest.

“Scared of what?” he scoffed, trying to sound sincere, fighting off the sinister smile that crept onto his face. Proud eyes staring directly to the blue and white plastic stick.

You pulled away from him, not being able to find the words to form the sentences. Satoru took your hands in his, looking into your eyes with all the feigned sincerity he could muster.

“I will take care of you.” he started, caressing his thumb over your knuckles as you sniffled. Taking a hand from yours and pressing it to your tummy, “Both of you.” he said with a smile, making you halt your tears and look at him bewildered.

Not knowing why he looked so excited right now, why he looked… accomplished? Seeing that glimmer in his eye he only got when he triumphed.

.... I don't know what to say. im sowy this doesn't have as much smut. yes this is a Segway to me one day writing a lactation kink post, im just testing the waters hehe

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studentinpursuitofclouds · 27 days

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hi, saw that your Sdv requests are open. I currently have my dogs sitting on my lap and had a thought. How would the sdv bachelors respond/react if the farmer said they didn't want kids and would rather adopt some dogs (or cats or any type of animal if I'm being serious) instead of having children.

Love your writing. Hope you have an amazing week.

Hey hey 👋 Thank you for your kind words and for the ask, dear anon! I'm glad you like my writing and I hope you like this hc too. Have a nice week as well 🫰💕

SDV bachelors react to the Farmer when they said they wanted to adopt a dog/cat/other pet instead of having a children:

_________________________________________

Shane doesn't see any problem with this at all because he had previously sworn to himself that he wouldn't have children. Especially since Shane has already tried a few years as a father figure and realised it's... hard. Don't get him wrong, Shane loves his niece, but with his depression and alcohol abuse previously, he knew he wasn't the best godfather for Jas. But he has plenty of experience with caring for chickens, so Shane brightened with joy when his spouse suggested having more chickens instead of kids. Charlie would have more friends!

Harvey had always dreamed of a happy family, but the local doctor had never specifically thought about having children. He came to the conclusion that he would be happy with Farmer in any scenario. And recently, a friend of Harvey's from Zuzu City was looking for owners for three orphaned stray kittens... So after a conversation with his spouse and mutual agreement, Harvey now have the three furballs who greet him with chorus of meowing, climb up his pyjama, demanding food, and make Harvey and Farmer smile every day.

Sebastian was all for it. He didn't want to have kids either, and didn't have any particular reason. He was afraid that Farmer would take this rather negatively. But since they are both on the same page, how about expand their terrarium and get more cute frogs? Sebastian still remembers that the Farmer named the rescued frog "their son," so "they're already parents to green babies." Sebby will be happy about the addition to their frog family (and won't forget to lightly tease his beloved spouse again).

Sam holds up the Farmer's dog. "But we already have a baby!" And the pooch barked back, wagging his tail happily. Well, they're glad that Sam reacted to their words very calmly. But later the guitarist himself admits that he doesn't see himself as a parent. Especially since they are both so young, and there's still a lot to do and explore. But he also would like to have another puppy. Sam even called Marnie to ask about adopting a puppy. Or maybe two? How about three? All in all, Sam, like Farmer, would be quite happy without children.

Elliott had long since chosen the right words and the right place, for, as it turned out, he himself had wanted to raise the matter with Farmer. The writer decided that since they were both almost entirely devoted to their work and hobbies, they would not be able to pay proper attention to the child, and it would be unfair to the baby. What was the writer's surprise when Farmer told him that they also wanted to discuss the possibility of being childfree. And also the idea of having another cat. Elliott was fine with it, believing that their first cat would like a new friend.

Alex was a little discouraged by Farmer's question, as he was thinking of just discussing with his spouse about children/adoption. Not that he wants kids right away without prior preparation, of course not. But after listening to Farmer's opinion, Alex couldn't disagree with their reasoning. Perhaps he just wanted the happy family life he didn't have as a child. But he was already happy with Farmer. And he'd be even more happy if Farmer agreed to have a couple puppies. Dusty would definitely enjoy the new company!

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv shane #sdv harvey #sdv sam #sdv sebastian #sdv elliott #sdv alex #sdv headcanons #thanks for the ask!#Come to think of it... The only person whose childfree life be a major blow to marriage is Penny #Because for her - children and family are the meaning of life #While others in the dialogues (although they are glad that they became parents) have never insisted on it so much. Only Penny

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gusujay · 7 months

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I love the pathologic fandom cause it’s filled with incredibly talented and creative people who’s passion for the game is so cathartic and inspiring, but there’s one question I’ve wanted to voice for a while but I haven’t known how to word it correctly.

And that question is; why is the common opinion in the fandom that Artemy is the “good doctor” and Daniil is the “bad doctor”? (not in terms of skill but in terms of moral standing)

Because yeah Daniil says some *clears throat* questionable things but I’m on the Haruspex route day 5 and…Artemy in game is just as awful sometimes. “Man’s share is harder” (why ice pick lodge why) is a line that both Daniil AND Artemy have as dialogue options, and Artemy is often very rude to the townsfolk too.

I feel the need to clarify that by awful I just mean…you know, a mix of the trauma that comes with being a doctor trying to survive the plague and ice pick lodge making some Decisions. But it’s not like Daniil is this mean guy and Artemy is understanding and kind cause he’s not.

In-game they’re literally both assholes and I love that about them, but why is the common opinion in the fandom that Daniil is a horrible bastard when Artemy and Daniil are equal levels of Bastard in the actual game, at least in classic hd. They have very different personalities, but I mean…they’re both a little bit horrible (I say this with affection).

I mean, in the Haruspex route almost the first thing you do is choose whether or not to kill a child, a child that Artemy is quite harsh to if the player picks certain dialogue options. Which is very similar to how you can play Daniil as someone who’s genuinely trying his best to help people but doesn’t quite understand the consequences his actions might be having, OR you can play him as a city boy who’s arrogant and selfish.

You can play Artemy as someone who’s come home from being away for quite a while and now has to live with the fact that the town has pinned him as an outsider and a murderer, OR you can play him as someone who’s been unjustly accused of murder and is very resentful and angry with the town and takes it out on the people who used to be his family. But only Daniil gets his less flattering dialogue options thrown at him by the fandom.

Again, I love both Artemy AND daniil they’re both my beloveds. But I feel like both of them are their own kind of fucked up and they both take that out on other people, no matter how nice the player tries to be while controlling them.

But for some reason Daniil has the reputation of being awful while Artemy doesn’t. Maybe it’s all because of the hbomb video but I’m not so sure, because (and we are going into subjective territory now since how each person interprets a video essay about a game will naturally be different, but I came out of hbomb’s video thinking Daniil was fucking hilarious, if a bit (or a lot) insensitive and ignorant about the town’s culture).

I don’t have a grand conclusion to come to at the end of this post. Just wanted to get the thought out there. Take something from it, or take nothing, I’m just a random person voicing a random thought. I’m not trying to start any fights, nor do I think this observation is at all groundbreaking, it’s just a question I’ve had for a while.

#pathologic #pathologic classic hd #daniil dankovsky #artemy burakh #burakhovsky

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lopposting · 27 days

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So, I noticed that people tend to notice P is not human, not from the way he looks, but from the way he sounds.

I can hear your springs even if you try to hide them. We musicians have a keen ear, you know. (White lady)

I hear the sound of springs inside you... You're a puppet too! (The Survivor)

[btw I'm going to be paraphrasing quotes and details from memory so I can get this out rather rapidly, so my apologies if they're somewhat incorrect]

Claudia and Lucio give no indication that they know about P not being human. Up until mid-game, they only really treat him as another stalker to con. The black rabbit brotherhood seem to know, but mainly because they know we're specifically "Geppetto's puppet."

I think that Claudia and Lucio find out because they either hear the brotherhood during the fight or Simon tells them as much, because Lucio calls us a "goddamn talking rag-doll" before he attacks us if you choose to fight.

The Black Rabbit Brotherhood and their connection to Carlo

And speaking of which - the brotherhood seems to know immediately that we are "Geppetto's puppet". Which makes me wonder... they seem to have known Carlo or known of Carlo while he was alive, which is probably how they put two and two together and guessed the obvious conclusion of how we came to be, which is the case with Antonia:

Oh, I knew you were Geppetto's puppet the moment I saw you (Antonia)

Is that Tenma's boy? > It can't be Tenma's boy. Holy cow, Tenma must have lost his mind (From Astro Boy 2009)

They also have Carlo's painting and the gravesite which is guessed to perhaps contain Carlo's empty grave has the mark of the black rabbit brotherhood on it. Geppetto also says he had no idea the BRB had stolen the painting.

A child who was a blessing to their family lies here. May he rest in peace. (Malum grave)

[Also I'm wildin now but korean pronouns are usually non-gender specific, so maybe it wasn't a "he" originally? this throws a whole bunch of other things into question though which I actually really don't like]

So, I thought of ways that ALL of these things could be true: That this IS carlo's grave in the malum district (which is strange because why would an aristocratic son be buried in Malum), the grave is empty because Carlo's body is still in the suitcase, the brb mark on his grave makes sense, AND the BRB having the painting is more than just a coincidence.

I have the most bizarre headcanon now. The BRB are a bunch of awful thugs for issuing "protection fees", but still, what IF:

They seem very hostile to us, particularly because we are a puppet, but maybe also because of our resemblance to Carlo - not because they resented him, but because Carlo was dear to them somehow. And the empty grave in the district was set up by them privately to commemorate his death when they heard what happened, (and the "family" they are referring to are themselves!). It's also worth noting that in the original story, The rabbits are aligned with the blue fairy (which would be Sophia in this iteration). [They're also associated with coffins and graves.]

I had no idea the black rabbit brotherhood had stolen it. (Geppetto on the painting)

The black rabbit brotherhood! I hate these guys. <- Gemini immediately remembers them. [They also appear very early on in the game, I guess to show they were watching us?]

So maybe their resentment and disgust for P comes from the fact that they know Geppetto has made an artificial replica of someone they knew into something they hated (puppets!), which they would see as repulsive. Perhaps there's an actual reason why the BRB has the painting. What exactly went down at the monad charity house?

...

extra notes

[The BRB knowing about Carlo doesn't mean they personally knew Carlo (since Geppetto must've been famous), but it's something. The thing is, both Eugenie and Venigni don't seem to recognize who we're "supposed" to be at all, even Venigni who is said to have been a close colleague to Geppetto. Maybe Eugenie and Venigni are just super polite and don't want to mention Carlo at all to us, but I kinda get the feeling that the public never really knew Carlo existed, Geppetto did dump him off at a boarding school early on after all]

[also also!! the golden stargazer next to the grave for DLC, Carlo being associated with ships, and the DLC showing a nautical theme?]

#look away theres BRB apologia here #lies of p #liesofp #lop #spoilers #lies of p spoilers #carlo #brb #black rabbit brotherhood #pinocchio #theory #more crack theory #speculation #btw i also love that they bring out a coffin for us to get into and WE END UP PUTTING ONE OF THEM IN IT INSTEAD #lore

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eatingfireflies · 2 months

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I want to talk about this thing

And I have a proposal:

The name of Dr Ratio's warp event is connected to this and, incidentally, Aventurine

Disclaimer: 1) I'm not normal or rational about Dr Ratio. 2) The conclusion is supported only by the English translation as far as I know. 3) Maybe the conclusion is a bit of a leap but I'm serious about everything else.

Let's go!

The conversation Aventurine and Acheron had towards the end is probably up there with End of Evangelion for me in terms of comforting. There's something comforting about Acheron's Nihility because there's still a drop of colour in there and she thinks it's enough. It's the kind of emptiness that accepts anything and don't we all need a little black hole to chuck all our worries into? 🥲

Before the 'grand finale', Aventurine says that sleep is a rehearsal of death. After his death, Acheron agrees and adds that we sleep in order to prepare for the real thing.

And then Aventurine asks her a question:

And Acheron's answer is: this isn't true and Aventurine knows this himself. We don't get born to die. There's no reason for being born, just like there is no meaning in life.

(There's only chance. In stories, things happen for a reason but life isn't story-shaped.)

So: there is no meaning in life. But the way we live our lives gives meaning to our deaths.

Then she tells him to look at his pocket because his friend has already given him the answer.

And I was like 'Finally !! I've been waiting for this reveal!' because what can be said at this moment that could help Aventurine?

There are 2 phases in his plan:

1) Prove that death is possible in the dreamland. Since all the visitors in Penacony are protected by Harmony, this is pretty hard to do but not impossible. We know other people have done it before. Aventurine uses Acheron the emanator of Nihility to cut through the Harmony protection and finish him off.

And Aventurine wins his wager! But the plan doesn’t end there.

2) Move forward to the Real Penacony somehow and investigate the truth about the Watchmaker. And then figure out how to come back. Which honestly sounds like a tall order, but what else can Aventurine do?

Well, he can stop at phase 1.

Acheron says that the conclusion of phase 1 is a win-win situation for the IPC, which is true. Aventurine's death will give the IPC a reason to investigate Penacony and the Family. We know Jade and the others aren't even allowed to go into the dreamscape, but with the death of the IPC envoy, they'll have the right to make some demands from the Family.

If Aventurine stops here, he still would have won.

We know from his conversation with his future self that he's tired and ready to stop. He wants to come home and be with his family.

Aventurine is pretty much a mess: he's a child blessed by Gaiathra Triclops, which gives him godly luck. This luck has prevented him from dying countless times before (even the times when he was actually fine with it). He wants to die but also he's terrified of... dying?

Truly embodying the 'Why is it so hard to die, so impossible to live?'* vibe.

(*From Tanith Lee's The Secret Books of Paradys 1, if you're interested)

Or maybe more accurately, he's terrified of losing everything just like he did in Sigonia. You can look at it in 2 ways: without Mama Fenge's blessing, Kakavasha would have died with the rest of the Avgin. Or Kakavasha's luck came at the expense of literally everything he holds dear.

With Acheron's help, he has finally achieved the death his own luck has been protecting him from. So why should he move forward?

Well, let's see what Acheron meant when she said Aventurine's friend has the answer.

And I... have no idea.

The underlying message here is easy enough to understand: Acheron has already answered Aventurine's question. He can move forward and keep living because that's what will give his eventual death more meaning. But hearing this from Acheron is a bit of a cold comfort: she accepts everything and also views everything impartially.

Ratio's note is a reminder to Aventurine that someone in the waking world is personally invested in Aventurine's well-being. Not because of what Aventurine can do for the IPC (as a consultant, I assume Ratio gets paid whether Aventurine succeeds or not, but also Aventurine has already succeeded with Phase 1).

And not because Ratio gets anything out of it... well, the Stellaron files maybe? But he already has that. Or whatever it is he went to Penacony for, because the two of them are being cagey about it.

Whatever it is, Ratio has already gotten what he wanted. This note is an extra then, something that he gave Aventurine because he wanted to.

I'll come back to what I think he meant, but I need to talk about the Jp translation (sorry I know I should check the original Cn instead but I don't know Cn at all 😭 it's hard enough for me to catch the nuance in Jp let alone a language I can't parse at all), because the word used is different and this is why I'm unsure.

Post by a Jp user about Ratio's note. I can't post a screencap because there's no more space 🥹 But here's the text:

「処方箋」

夢の中で不可能なのは「死」ぬことではなく、「熟睡」することだ。生きろ。幸運を祈る。

In this note, Ratio uses 熟睡 (jukusui), which means deep sleep. This is deep uninterrupted sleep, the kind that you wake up from feeling refreshed. Or the kind that you have when you take sleep meds. Or the kind that you have when you're contented with your life and not burdened with ambition or anxieties or curiosity.

I don't know.

We know that it's possible to sleep in the dreamscape because Ratio wakes Aventurine up in the beginning of the quest. At the very least, he seemed to be dreaming so I assume he was asleep? And they seem to be in the dreamscape because there's an origami bird tail behind him... except Dr Blues also appears in reality so maybe we can't rule anything out just yet.

I'm not 100% sure what Ratio means about 熟睡. But what about 'Dormancy'?

This is easier. The disclaimer here is I'm not a big fan of the English translation in general (especially the way Dr Ratio was translated in English) but I'll let myself have this.

Dormancy is (thank you wiki) a period in an organism's life cycle when growth, development, and (in animals) physical activity are temporarily stopped. It's also connected to 'deep sleep'. Hey, we're getting somewhere!

Basically, hibernation. Ratio seems to be confirming what we already know: the dream is falling apart because everything in the universe will succumb to Nihility in the end. Maybe the dream was created to preserve a memory (just like how the IPC was preserving Chadwick's memory in Penacony), but the dream is also starting to crumble.

Maybe this isn't the most comforting thing to tell Aventurine, but it does confirm what he probably already suspected (about the truth behind Penacony) and it also tells him that change is constant. Moving forward means he could potentially get out of a situation he doesn't like.

And he does move forward. He tells his past self that there will come a time in the future when he'll come home to his family, but not now. For now he can keep changing and making his own meaning.

Dr Ratio's warp banner is called Panta rhei. 'Everything flows', which says that things are always in a state of flux (change). For example, you can't step into the same river twice because the water is moving and is constantly getting replaced (thanks again, wiki). This is the same about humans: we are always changing both physically and mentally. We both are and are not (wiki again).

Doesn’t it sound like what he said in his doctor's prescription?

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail spoilers #dr ratio #hsr aventurine #penacony #d metas #cw death and nihilism

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vritest · 1 year

Text

I love you. (Say it back) Pt. 2

leon kennedy x fem!reader

Warnings: None??? Kissing. Vandetta Leon???

PART 1

You couldn’t feel more ashamed in your life then right now.

You stood there for a while, processing everything you were seeing. After a while you came to a conclusion…

Your eyes were definitely not deceiving you.

The little girl on his shoulders was beautiful, and looked exactly like her father. Blonde, blue eyes, that beautiful nose you loved so much.

And the smile.

God the smile.

Leon’s smile.

One you haven’t seen in so long, too long.

You continued to stand in front of the doorstep, dumbfounded, feeling absolutely ashamed and embarrassed. How could you have not thought of this before?

Of course he had moved on. It’s been years that he hasn’t seen you, or even heard your voice. (Though he doesn’t even know how he went that long without your voice).

You squeezed your eyes shut.

This was all a dream. Go back to sleep Y/N.

You heard a small chuckle, and then some wait being put on your shoulder.

“You okay?” Leon asked worriedly staring at you, your eyes still closed and still standing on his porch.

Oh fuck, this is real life isn’t it?

“Daddy, she’s funny” A little voice said giggling softly.

You finally opened to it eyes looking up at the little girl who was playing with Leon’s brown hair. She probably thinks youre crazy.

“Shit- I’m so sorry… I feel so stupid- I’ll go-“

There it was. The historic wrist grab.

“Come in.” He asked, almost pleading. His eyes suddenly resembling puppy eyes.

“Please.”

You cleared your throat. Your eyebrows furrowing.

“Are you out of your goddamn mind? The mother of your child is in there-“

“What?” He asked interrupting and raising an eyebrow.

“I heard you say ‘Honey’ Leon. I’m not crazy.” You stopped. “And I’m not that type of person, so I’ll let you live your life and-“

Suddenly you heard laughter coming from the now, brunette man. His daughter looking down at him confused and then laughing as well, probably, not knowing why.

You just stared at him confused.

“When you knocked the door, this little one” he stopped pointing up to the little girl and the tucking her rib cage. He continued. “Decided to try and open the door, and I told her I could get it. She wanted to see who it was herself so I placed her on my shoulders. And to answer your question her mom doesn’t live with us.”

You didn’t know it was possible to feel this kind of embarrassment in your whole life.

“You wanna come in now?” He asked tilting his head.

———

“So… if you don’t mind me asking…. where’s her mom?” You asked Leon, as he walked towards the table you were sitting at and brought with him two glasses of water.

He sighed deeply.

“I was feeling like shit after you left, so I went to the bar, one last time. Got waisted, and started making out with this girl.” He took a sip of water before continuing.

“Then we went back to my place and you know, had sex…”

You groaned.

“I know how baby’s are made Leon..” You said in a whiny tone not wanting to hear about Leon’s love life after you left. Trying to hide the fact that it broke your heart that he went to the bar to escape his feelings even though you had told him not to.

He chuckled bringing you back to reality.

“Well anyway, she managed to remember my address and she didn’t even bother to tell me her name. She just…appeared at my doorstep a few months later and gave her to me and told me “she’s yours”, and then left… just like that.”

He sighed, looking towards the little girl who was in the living room, not far from where you and Leon were sitting.

She had a smile on her face as she played with to Barbie dolls.

Leon let out a smile. You continued to stay silent, not knowing if you should cry for him or if you should be worried about how he’s doing now.

“She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me Y/N. The reason why I haven’t drank in almost 7 years.”

He said passionately. You smiled, admiring his adoration for his daughter, but also the fact that he had actually listened to you.

“I’m glad you listened to me, Leon.” You sighed before you opened your mouth again.

“I never really got a chance to properly apologize for yelling at you that morning I was just trying-“

“To help me, I know Y/N. I don’t know what I would do if you never spoke up, so thank you.” He stopped, “And I’m sorry too. For being an asshole all those years, I swear I always did love you. Still do”

You smiled, the small fuzzy feeling filling up your stomach as sounds of the little girl still playing with her dolls filled the room.

You tuned back to look at Leon who was looking right at you, waiting for a response. Waiting that somehow… you wouldn’t hate him for not waiting for you.

“Aww don’t get go soft on me now, Leon.” You chuckled.

He rolled his eyes, as you giggled and took another sip of water.

As you took another sip, all Leon could think about was how much he had fucked up your guy’s relationship. How much he regrets how he acted. How much he wished you hadn’t seen him like that. How much he would’ve loved to have his first child with you. How much he wouldn’t loved if he had just…waited.

He sighed again, leg shaking underneath the table.

“I swear when I say, I love you. Always have, since the day I saw you in the back of our history class.”

“I missed you.” You muttered out.

“Yeah, I know” he laughed. “You wouldn’t have come all the way over here to see me if you didn’t.”

You rolled your eyes playfully at him, hitting his shoulder pretty loud you guessed because here came his little monster coming to defend him.

“Hey! Don’t hit my dad!” The little girl said running up to her dad, to hug him and giving you the stankest eye ever. Leon laughed ruffling the little girls hair.

“It’s okay baby, she was just playing around.” He said smiling. Then a realization hit.

“How could I forget- hun this if my-“ he stopped looking out from his daughter, meeting your eyes, waiting for you to answer. You cleared your throat.

“Friend. I’m your daddy’s friend, Y/N.” You said smiling. She smiled too.

“I’m Sherry.”

Your eyes widened at the name. The name of the girl he had saved in Raccoon City, how cute.

“Sherry…” you said trailing off looking over to Leon, who was smiling and nodding his head. He knew you were both thinking of the same thing.

“That’s a beautiful name.” You said smiling to the little girl.

———

A few hours later, you found yourself sitting down with Leon and Sherry eating pizza that he had ordered after probably, 4 hours playing with Sherry.

She absolutely loved you. She hadn’t had a mother figure yet, but even though she had just met you, she already adored you.

Leon loved to see you playing with her, acting like she was your own it brought him happiness he hadn’t felt in a while. The type of happiness that only you could bring him, nobody else could.

After dinner, Sherry went to bed telling you a quick “Good night”, before Leon tucked her in bed, with a quick peck on her forehead.

He walked back towards the couch you were sitting in watching the News.

You and Leon tried to catch up as much as you possibly could.

After 6 years a lot had happened.

You told him about your failed dates, which he could only chuckle at, telling you that you really lost all your charm after you left him. Never telling him the whole reason that all your dates were a total fail, was because he was the only one on your mind.

He told you about his missions. How hard it had been going on them and worrying if he wasn’t able to see his daughter again. It made you worry about him, and the constant pressure that’s put on to him.

Not only does he have to work for the president, but now his daughter is in constant danger.

“I’ll take care of her, if you’d like… you know, while you go on those missions”you offered, sitting comfortably on the sofa, legs crossed looking up at him with those eyes, the ones he loved and looked forward to seeing them every day.

He smiled at your kind offer. “I do appreciate it, Y/N. A lot, I just don’t wanna cause any trouble-“

“You don’t have to worry about it Leon. She’s your daughter, she needs someone to keep her safe.”

You smiled.

“And plus I think she likes me. I mean she let me use her dolls, when I was younger I never let anyone even think of playing with mine.”

You two both laughed.

“What would I do without you Y/N?” He asked, letting a small chuckle and turning to look at you grabbing your hand and squeezing it tightly.

“I don’t even wanna imagine”

The two of you looked at each other for a second, his hand still on yours. His touch taking you back to when he was yours. When life was simple.

He leaned towards you slightly closing his eyes.

How cute you thought, he hadn’t changed the way he kisses one bit.

Finally, as if he had been waiting for this his whole life, his soft lips landed on yours. Immediately he pulled back, he was moving way too fast.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take things too fa-“

You pulled the collar of his shirt, desperately kissing him. Hoping that it would make up for everything that had happened before this very moment.

“I love you.”

•••

Soooo, what do y’all think about the uno reverse card I pulled on you guys 🤭. And yes I do know Sherry didn’t die, I just thought the reference would be cute lol.

(I guess y’all deserved a happy ending 🙄)

•••

#leon kennedy blurb #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy angst #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy fluff

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gingersaurus · 1 year

Text

I was having trouble getting in That 90′s Show, for the main reason being the continuity errors of the timeline.

You see, The final episode of That 70′s show ended on New Year’s Eve 1979/1980. Leia is a teenager in 1995. Which raises the obvious question, HOW OLD IS LEIA, WHEN WAS SHE CONCEIVED, AND WHO IS HER BIOLOGICAL FATHER???

Eric wasn’t in the final season of That 70s show. He broke up with Donna and went off to college. In the final season of TSS (1979), Donna was dating a guy named Randy, but she broke up with him just before the season finale.

This means that if Leia was conceived anywhere between October 1979 and December 1979, She would be just on the cusp of turning 15 in the summer of 1995. Now it feels pretty unlikely that Donna would have been 3 months pregnant during the series finale and wouldn’t have realized it, so let’s focus on the more likely scenario. (Edit: After watching a few more episodes, Leia has her 15th birthday in the summer of 1995. Either she was reeeeaally premature, or Randy is her bio dad.)

Eric came back to Point Place during the season finale, and he and Donna got back together. This reunion resulted in them getting frisky, and Leia was conceived on New Years 1980, making her birthday sometime in early October 1980, which would mean that Leia is 14 and 9 months old during That 90s Show. Now this brings up a lot of concerns about her drinking and smoking at such a young age, but it brings up an even bigger concern and that is: HOW OLD IS JAY KELSO AND HOW DOES HE EXIST??????

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WAS NOT AROUND FOR THE FINAL SEASON OF THAT 70s SHOW??? MICHAEL KELSO!!! And on top of that Jackie was dating Fez in 1979. Jackie definitely was not pregnant, had never been pregnant, and even if she was, how would Kelso have been the father? And we can only infer that Jay is older than Leia, because he is friends with Gwen’s older brother, Nate. And Nate and Jay have been friends "for 12 years”.

So the writers are trying to tell me that Jay Kelso is 16 in 1995??? That would mean that he would have had to have been born in 1979! And look at how much that kid looks like Michael Kelso! That’s definitely Kelso’s son, and not an adopted child. BUT HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE IF MICHAEL KELSO DIDN’T HAVE A SON IN 1979?!?!?!?

BUT WAIT!

MICHAEL KELSO WAS A PARENT IN 1979!!!!!

Kelso was gone during the final season because he had knocked up a girl named Brooke at a concert, and moved away to help raise his “baby girl” with Brooke. Which means that this baby would be 16 in 1995! Which means that there can be only one in canon explanation for the existence of Jay Kelso!

Brooke and Kelso didn’t work out, and after they broke up, Kelso moved back to Wisconsin with his child 12 years ago. He reconnected with Jackie, and they eventually got married. Jackie adopted Kelso’s child, and became a really great stepmom who made it clear that she loved her child unconditionally. Jay knew how much his dad and step mom loved him, and therefore felt comfortable coming out to them as trans when he was in his early teens. Kelso and Jackie accepted their son with open arms

Brooke was also the valedictorian, which means that when Kelso says Jay “has my looks and his mother’s brains! He gets straight A’s!” He is referring to Jay’s bio mom, Brooke.

So in conclusion, Jay Kelso is trans, and Michael and Jackie are amazing parents. Also Jay is probably on T because Jackie scared the shit out of some poor doctor.

#that 90s show #that 70s show #leia forman #jay kelso #eric foreman #donna pinciotti #gwen runck #nate runck #trans #trans man #callie haverda #laura prepon #topher grace #mila kunis #ashton kutcher #mace coronel #head canon #lgbt

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kaymarie-bell · 5 months

Note

I just came up with the saddest theory. What if the reason for Silver's sleepiness is because Lillia doesn't love him enough? I mean the reason he's sleepy is because of the residual magic the guardian fairy casted on him right? Where he'll sleep and only wake up by parental love. Lillia found and raised him but he still has the problem of the sleepiness. So doesn't that mean Lillia doesn't love him enough? And it's heartbreaking. Because Lillia cried when Malleus was born and he considered it his happiest moment. And he seemed nonchalant when he told Silver they're not really related in a flashback.

And I think I just wanna torture myself and others emotionally by writing this.

LISTEN I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS OF SILVER'S SLEEPINESS CONSTANTLY! You have given me a chance to talk about the DiaFam and I WILL GLADLY DO SO!!! Let me torture you right back.

But before I get into it, just to be safe: DIASOMNIA BOOK SPOILERS AHEAD

Since I refuse to believe that Lilia simply doesn't love him enough, I'd rather go with the "Silver is the one who thinks being an adopted child means that he doesn't truly deserve his father's love" route.

1. Because that's still such a good angst and 2. Because the game itself tells us that's what he thinks and that *Sebek voice* HE'S WRONG! LILIA DOES LOVE HIM!!!

I do think the trigger for his pseudo-curse coming back was his realization that he's adopted. I might be remembering wrong since I usually binge the entire update as soon as it comes out and it's been months, but in Lilia's memories of raising Silver there's no mention of Silver falling sleep randomly any time before he finds out he's adopted.

And I feel like Lilia telling Silver he's adopted so casually was him just thinking "I'm obviously a fae and he's clearly a human, he should be aware of it already," plus Lilia does accept that he might have kept quiet about it because he subconsciously knew that Silver would be sad about it.

Now, Lilia's thoughts do tells us that his choice to adopt Silver in the first place was due to him wanting to set an example for Malleus. He chose to take this baby in despite knowing who his parents were, because if he wanted Malleus to grow up kind and keep the peace with humans, he should be the one to lead the way.

He still questions his relationship with baby Silver when he calls him "dad" for the first time, and the first one to point out how much he truly cares about Silver is Malleus himself when he tells him that "[Lilia] would be very sad if the baby got sick." Malleus overcame his hatred for humans because Lilia cares about one.

But the point where I feel it finally clicked for Lilia that he truly loves Silver is the acorn bracelet scene. Before this point he still felt the divide between fae and human, but then he is shocked to find out that Silver wants him to live a long happy life with him despite Silver being a human. This is the result of Lilia willingly choosing to try and love a human: the human -his son- loves him back.

And you wanna know what makes me insane? the immediate scene after this is Silver finding out he's adopted. The moment Lilia fully loves Silver is around the time Silver questions his worthiness for the first time. Also, isn't this the moment when Silver stops calling him "papa" and starts calling him "Father"?

So in conclusion: Lilia's love for Silver did not come immediately like it did with Malleus, but rather, he willingly chose to love him. The one who struggled to accept it was Silver himself.

How could he (the son of Lilia's enemies) ever compare to Malleus (the son of the people he loved, the one he shed blood sweat and tears for during hundreds of years just to be able to see him) in Lilia's eyes? And yet, what finally broke the little self-control Malleus had left was Silver's tears...

Edit: I got so caught up in the love they feel for each other that I forgot to clarify: Silver DOES accept Lilia's love as of the recent updates. This is all me rambling about their relationship, we still do not have a clear answer about the reason behind Silver's sleepiness 💔

tbh since the DIasomnia characters seem to be closer to the Maleficent version (not the animated Sleeping Beauty) the fairies probably fucked up the initial spell for Silver

39 notes

#twst spoilers #THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH!!!#Lilia loves his sons and his sons love him back #but both of them think they are not worthy of calling Lilia their father #due to their own personal reasons #Sebek is just watching it all unfold #thank god at least he had a somewhat normal family #📫📬📧

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ohtobeleah · 2 years

Note

Okay but the idea of Bob getting to the point where he has to throw hands to protect you is so hot. Purely because you just know it’s not in his nature.

Another Statistic // Bob Floyd

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: hey guys so a major trigger warning on this one for sexual assault. Please read at your own discretion and please remember that this is a work of fiction. Angst is what I do.

***~***~***~***~***~

This really got out of control For this one we need to go back to the beginning of the story.

Robert Floyd didn’t drink alcohol for a few reasons. None of them really being all too life changing, for one he just didn’t like the burning sensation that came along with liquor, and beer just out right made him feel sick. He’d tried a few fancy cocktails here and there—all enjoyable until the sugar wore off or until the next morning. But there was one reason why Bob was always the designated driver, one reason why he always had a plan A, a plan B and a plan C. There was a reason why he preferred water or a glass of Lemonade, Fanta or Coke while at dinners, clubs or bars and there was a reason he never really caved to the societal pressure of drinking with your peers after a long day, or social gatherings where alcohol seemed to be in abundance.

The simple answer to all Robert Floyd’s why’s, the question ‘you aren’t drinking man?’ Had a more simple answer that could easily be shortened down to one word. One person actually.

You.

Bob chose a long time ago that he’d be happy to never drink again if that meant he could protect you. And that’s not to say Bob had ever been some macho Johnny Bravo protector. No. Bob in his very nature was a back seater. He was very much a back seater in all aspects of life, a wallflower. But god Bob would run out into the line of fire any day if it meant taking a bullet that was meant for you. He’d do anything for the love of his life, his best friend. And he has and always will continue to.

“And who would this lovely lady of the sea be?” Like the wallflower he was, Bob had had enough time to get a pretty good read on the type of man Jake Seresin was. He'd come to the conclusion he was happy he hadn’t encountered the man who had an ego the size out Mt Everest. What Bob couldn't see coming from a million miles away would be the fact Jake Seresin would become a bigger part of his life then he could ever picture. A trusted colleague, a good friend and above all? Godfather to his child but we’ll touch base on that at a later time. “Bob? Care to introduce us to your friend here? One of Top Guns finest i presume?”

“Uh–” Bob stammered over his words as he cleaned peanut crumbs from his uniform. “This is uh–um i–” Bob watched as you chuckled, passing him your half finished beer as you held out your hand out for Jake to shake gracefully. Bob watched you interact with Jake, his hand slowly coming to find the hem of your naval skirt, twirling the fabric carefully between his fingers. A small yet loving gesture to let you know he was there. He'd always be there. Holding your half drunk beer brought back a memory Bob didn't want to remember. It wasn't a fond memory or one he’d necessarily like to ever talk about again. But for some reason holding your beer watching Jake try to make his move on you just brought the memories flooding back, like a brick wall had fallen on top of him.

*******************************

Woody’s Tavern was the place to be. It was where the majority of the naval academy cadets chose to spend their free time. Drinking away the pain for fitness tests and long gruelling days learning how to operate navigation systems, perform Clarence dives and just in general learning how to be Navy men and women. You of course were no exception to the rule.

“Bob, it's a friday night, it's a long weekend, there's no classes on Monday and we don't have another exam till wednesday week!” working to fix your earring you reminded Bob who sat at the end of your bed looking at you like a love struck puppy dog you'd just kicked in the face. “Let loose will ya?”

“It's just not my thing, you know that.” It was Bob's turn to retaliate, reminding you that this was him you were talking to. Bob. Robert Floyd. “I'd rather just, not.” Bob explained briefly. He wanted to tell you that you looked beautiful, that the dress you wore looked nice, respectable yet fun at the same time. He thought the colour made your eyes pop, but that it didn't take away from the fact your smile was the one thing that he couldn't get enough of. But he settled for something that he knew would be low key, that would keep him under your radar. “You look nice though.”

“Thanks–” it made your heart flutter, in fact it skipped a beat as the butterflies in your stomach took off into a million different directions. You were smitten and he didn't even know it. The heat in your cheeks rose as you tried your best to cool your face before turning around to face Bob. “You still okay to pick me up though?” you asked softly, making sure the offer still stood. Bob finished his phone out from his back pocket as he stood, making his way over to you as he turned the ringer off silent, turning the volume up as loud as the device would allow him to do so.

“Just call me when you're ready.” The moment between you and Bob lingered in silence as the gap seemed to be almost nonexistent. Your eyes roamed his face, his body. The simple T-shirt he wore that hung off his chest so perfectly. His eyes roamed your face, your body. He was well and truly fucked if you didnt feel the same way about him, he knew that. So to say nothing was better to say something and risk losing you all together. The friendship you shared was worth more to him then you'd probably ever know. But something bold told him to question why you were looking at him the way you were. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” You asked, caught out as you shook your head for a second, collecting yourself. “I wasn't lo–”

“You were looking at me! You had a look in your eye!” Bob chuckled as he watched you grab your shoes, a friend picking you up to take you over to the tavern, charlotte.

“Well even if I was you were looking at me too!” you sassed back. “So I don't know what that's all about but whatever it was, it won't happen again.” you rolled your shoulders back. You'd almost been caught red handed literally longing for Bob. a close call.

“Yes ma'am Radar ma’am.” Bob teased as he saluted you, falling back onto your bed. Staying the night so he could keep an eye on the most definite drunk version of yourself that he’d be collecting at all hours of the night. “Just be careful, please?” leaning back on his forearms, Bob looked at you with a serious look in his eyes, suddenly a different vibe lingered between you as he stared at you, drinking you in. “Promise me, what’s the safe word again? Peaches or peechay or something to do with peaches? Isn’t it?” You didn't say anything as you pressed your lips together, holding your purse to your chest, debating whether or not it was a good idea to go for it or not. Throw all corrosion into the wind and let Bob know that you'd come back to him.

Maybe it was the few shots you had to pre game the night, or maybe it was just the fact you loved Bob with all your heart but just couldn't say it. But you were walking closer to where he was sitting on your bed, leaning in and over to give him a gentle kiss on the cheek. Rubbing your thumb over the shade of nude you'd left behind from your lips.

“I'll be fine, but I promise I'll be careful.” stunned into complete silence and shook at what you'd just done. Bob's eyes lit up in pure joy. Coughing to clear his throat a little before he responded in broken english. Forgetting how to speak, how to breathe all at the same time from a simple gesture. “Peachy—I’m just peachy'' is the safe line.” You reminded him.

“Uh, good–yeah um, I'm glad we’re uh, we’re on the same page then.”

“I think we are, aren't we?” you asked. You hoped Bob was talking about the page where you both had mutual feelings but were both too scared to say anything. Not the page where you'd be careful on a Friday night out with friends. “Right?’ asking again as your unanswered question lingered in the air as Bob struggled to take his eyes off you. Opting to do the same thing you'd done just seconds before just slightly more ballsy and way out of his comfort zone. Leaning in to kiss you softly, Bob's lips melted with yours. His hands coming up to cup your checks, the pad of his thumbs softly rubbing your cheeks. A few seconds he'd remember for the rest of his life if this went south. Pulling away slowly, Bob feared opening his eyes. But when he did and he saw you looking back at him trying so hard to hide a smile so bright, his heart grew so much bigger.

“Yeah, yeah we’re on the same page.” Bob whispered. Watching as you stood, fixing yourself up as you made your way to your door. “I'll be here when you get back!” he smirked, leaning right back on your bed, getting comfy.

“Wish you were coming with me!” you cooed. Standing in the doorway. “Sure I can't tempt you?” Bob to this day regretted his next sentence, all he had to do was say sure and everything could have been avoided. Bob liked to tourtue himself over it. A sense of guilt always stayed with him, even years later. He had a chance.

“I'm good, really, maybe next time.” nodding softly, you accepted Bob's stance.

“I'll call you later.” you smiled, shutting the door softly as Bob watched out your bedroom window as you got into Charloots ute. Sighing heavily as he tried to process what just happened. A definite turning point in your friendship would soon be overshadowed by regret and guilt.

********************************************

The night had been going great, you’d been enjoying yourself. Letting loose. You felt like you hadn’t had the opportunity to just forget everything in a long time. The liquor was flowing and flowing fast. The music was pumping, the company was great. You felt like you’d had a real chance to relieve the incredibly serious, incredibly difficult immense pressures you carried above your shoulders. The incredibly toxic mustard shit that was the naval academy. You’d given just within an inch of your life to pass that advanced navigation exam and like fuck were you not going to let your hair down.

But picture this, let me set the scene for you. A game of pool had caught your eye, your whiskey sour slightly spilled over the lip of your glass as you handed it to Charlotte. Taking the pool cue you eyed your target, leaning over the table as you went to shoot your shot, a hand slid up the back of your leg, hovering over your arse. It had your heart pausing, instantly a sudden flush of heat overcame you with fear. Shooting your shot as you stood. Turing to see who was touching you so inappropriately.

“Radar—“ E.T smirked as you leaned back against the pool table. His body was uncomfortably close to yours. You could smell the alcohol on his breath. See the lust in his eyes. “You look great—“ so you’d been told, Bob was probably asleep by now. You wished he was here.

“Watch where those hands fall Leo before I break every last metacarpal in them.” Leo Ward. Call sign E.T because god was he otherworldly in his ability to do anything less than ordinary. He was an exceptional cadet, a fine pilot but he was a pig of a man. It was point blank, black and white knowledge. “I would back all the way off if I were you.” You hissed through gritted teeth.

“C’mon now Radar, you’re here for a good time, I can show you a good time.” Your face contorted in disgust. “Robert not around?” E.T look around for Bob who was usually glued to your hip. Two peas in a pod.

“You’re the last person on the planet I would give it up for, especially after this.” Pushing past Leo you sighed as he smirked. Walking back over the were Charlotte stood completely dumbfounded as she handed you your drink.

“Holy shit—“

“Don’t.” You mumbled into your drink, sinking back the liquor in one go. “Just Don’t—“

“E.T’s fucking plastered.” She chuckled. “God what a pig.” Sipping her own drink you felt a shiver run up your spine. “Should we go? I think I’m done for the night anyway—kinda don’t want to stick around and see who his next victim is if you know what I mean.” Charlotte sighed, knowing Leo probably wasn’t capable of understanding the word no at this point. As you watched him eye you down from across the tavern, you agreed.

“I’ll call Bob.” Fishing your phone from your purse, you hit Bob's name in your phone. ‘Other Half’ holding it up to your ear as the dial tone rang. It didn’t take long for Bob to answer. His voice deep and comforting.

“Bob's taxi service, how can I help you?” Bob teased as he let out a yawn. You couldn’t help but to bite your bottom lip to stop a smirk from plastering your face.

“Can you come pick me up?” You asked softly. The night coming to an end. E.T’s inappropriate behaviour just ruining the mood for you. You were over it. Done.

“Ah, are we done letting loose are we?” Bob sat up, looking for his shirt in the dark of your room, having fallen asleep in the comfort of your bed. “I’ll be there in five.”

“Okay, see you soon?” You replied, holding back the anger and frustration that laced your tone.

“Hey, you alright?” Bob questioned, your tone blunt and sharp as you caught the sight of E.T staring at you. Eyes hungry. You needed to get out of there. “Renee?”

“Yeah, I’m alright, just wanna come home.” You shook it off, remembering that going home meant getting to be with Bob. Something had shifted between the two of you and you were excited to see where things would go. The alcohol in your system suppressing the anxiety of potentially ruining the best friendship you’d ever had. “See you soon, okay? I’ll wait out the front with Charlotte.”

“I’ll drop her home on the way back, see you soon.” Bob was quick to finally find his shirt, shoving it over his head as he grabbed his keys, rubbing the sleep from the corner of his eyes before rushing out to where he car was parked.

Placing your phone back into your purse you lost sight of where E.T had gone, perhaps he’d left? Shaking off the unnerving feelings his presence had left you, you let your hand fall to Charlotte's shoulder as you leaned in.

“Hey Bobs on his way, I’m just gonna go to the bathroom real quick and I’ll meet you outside!” Shouting over the music into Charlotte's ear, she nodded in response. Making your way through the busy tavern full of people you knew with familiar faces at every turn, you pushed open the bathroom door. It was empty. The three stalls all open and unoccupied. Choosing the middle stall you did what you needed to—emptied your very full bladder with a sigh of relief. Your head spinning from all the different liquors you’d consumed. After tonight you’d made a mental note to not mix your liquors.

Footsteps approached the stall beside you but you didn’t think too much into it. Wiping, flushing, fixing yourself up the best you could on slightly wobbly legs, you opened the stall, making a directed line for the sinks to wash your hands. Only to have two rather muscular arms wrap around you from behind. Your first instinct as fight or flight kicked in, you screamed, a hand cupping your mouth shortly after the muffle you, silence you.

“Shhh, shhh easy Radar, you wouldn’t want to ruin the run now would you?” You caught the sight of him in the mirror as you stilled, looking at him through the mirror as he looked back at you. E.T. “Just wanna have a little fun now that we're alone.” Removing his hand from your mouth slowly, Leo let his hand fall to your chest. You froze in fear. “See, now we’re having fun.”

“I don’t wanna do anything with you—“ you whispered through tears. E.T didn’t listen as he pushed you forcefully against the nearest wall. The back of your head smacking harshly against the tiles. “Leo stop—“ you begged. Again, he didn’t listen. His hand coming to squeeze your cheeks together as his other roamed your hips, slowly but surely making its way between your thighs. Fear hitching in the back of your throat.

“I just think that, if you really are gonna fuck your way to the top of the class, wouldn’t you want to fuck someone who could possibly raise your social status? Not some library dweller who probably doesn’t even know where to put it?” Leo smirked as his hand shoved your dress up to your hips. You tried to fight him off but in terms of strength? He dominated. “I’m serious Radar, no one takes you seriously with that bug eyed back seater.” Leo hissed as he started to undo his belt. His hand coming down from squeezing your cheeks to wrap around your neck. Choking you as he restricted your airways. “But me? We’d be unstoppable together, a power couple—“

“Leo, st—stop!” You cried out under the pressure of his hand around your throat. “We—talk, let’s talk!” Throwing you down to the ground, Leo grabbed your wrist above your head as his knees spread yours. Hovering over you as you squirmed. “LEO!!”

“I can make you cum, like nobody else has.” You wanted to throw up. “Not Bob, not anyone.” Leo hissed as he kissed your lips. Shaking him off you didn’t expect him to headbutt you out of rejection. Blood dripped from your nose as your head throbbed. Knocking on the door filling the bathroom.

“Renee you in there?” It was Bob, you knew it was Bob. Unbeknownst to you, E.T had locked the main door, only after having placed a makeshift out of order sign on the door to deter others away. Before you could respond Leo had his hand cupped over your mouth. Smirked Maniacally.

“Just me Rob, don’t even sweat it brother we’re just having some fun.” Leo leaned down to whisper in your ear. “Say yes or I swear to god I’ll beat that fucking guy into nothingness the second I’m done with you.” You knew Leo would, his eyes were so unapologetically dark as he removed his hand. “Aren’t we, Radar?” You hesitated as you let tears fall free.

“Yep! I’m just peachy!” Your voice hitched as you felt Leo’s lips on your neck as his fingers pushed your g-string to the side. “I’m just—just peachy!” You hoped, no. You fucking prayed Bob remembered, but hearing nothing in response you hope diminished quickly. Maybe Bob had been blinded by Jealousy to remember you’d never do anything to hurt him.

“Lover boys all gone now Radar—it’s just you and me.” Leo kissed your collarbone. “Can’t get enough of—“ it came out of nowhere. The door completely ripped off its hinges as Bob shouldered it with his entire being. Crashing into the bathroom with a thud, Bob was quick on his feet as he saw you under Leo in a complete mess. Crying, shaking in fear.

“What the hell, Ward!” Bob shouted as his hands balled into fists, tackling him off you. Straddling his waist as Bob laid into him, one punch after another. Robert Floyd had never been in a fight before, but for you he’d do anything. Blinded by pure unconditional love. “She said no! Didn’t she!?” Bob shouted, holding Leo’s collar. “Didn’t she!” Spitting a mouthful of blood out Leo chuckled before he answered.

“She asked for it the second she put that dress on and you know it, because I know that you know, you were thinking the same fucking thing.” Leo hissed, his teeth stained with his own blood. Bob threw him down. Standing as he left Leo bloodied in the corner of the bathroom. Looking around for you. His knuckles throbbing. You’d run out the second the door was open, flight overpowering fight as you ran through the tavern straight out into the car park. Bob's car was a beacon of safety as you ran straight for it.

“Renee!!” Bob shouted after you as you slid down the side of the passenger door. Of course he fucking locked it. Carefully and ever so slowly Bob reached you, kneeling in front of you as he reached out to cup your cheeks. Flinching for a second you welcomed his touch. Eyes so distant it was like no one was home as Bob tried to catch your gaze. “I’m here.”

“I didn’t want him to touch me—“ you whispered. Sobbing as you tried to hold yourself together. “I didn’t want him to touch me.” You repeated again as Bob nodded, validating you.

“I know, hey—look at me?” Bob cooed. His thumbs working to rub your tears. “I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you ever again.” Bob promised. In that moment Bob knew he’d never drink and he’d never not join you at social events. He’d keep you safe. “Your nose looks broken, best case just really swollen?” Bob assessed the damage as carefully as he could. “I think we need to get you to the hospital, just to make sure everythings okay?” You didn't respond to Bob as he stayed kneeling before you, the rocks of the gravel digging into his knees. “Maybe get the police involved, leo should be ch–”

“No police.” Your head lulled to the side in defeat. “It’s Leo Ward, nothing will happen to Leo Ward.” It was common knowledge that although Leo was an absolute pig, he was the commissioner's son. “I just wanna go home” Bob knew that to argue with you now would probably be the worst thing he could do. He wanted you to feel in control. Although he wanted to make sure you were okay? He'd try again later. Nodded as he helped you up, Charlotte had sent you a text to say she’d gotten a ride with Ben. You didn’t talk much after that night. If she’s come with you maybe Leo wouldn’t have had such an opportunity. And the rumours that spread like wildfire across campus didn’t help.

“Okay, yeah, let’s get you home.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Complete and utter silence fell between the two of you in the car on the way home. You couldn’t find the energy to speak, you didn’t want to speak. It wasn’t that Bob didn’t want to talk he just didn’t know how to ask, he didn’t really want to ask either because I do that any word would want to hurt you too sick to your stomach.

As soon as Bob pulled up into the drive he watched to slowly get out of the car. Like a zombie a part of you was gone for good. Locking his car Bob followed you inside, when he heard the sound of running water and sobs that held more anguish than he’d ever like to imagine coming from the bathroom? His heart broke just a little more. Pushing the slightly ajar door open Bob saw you in the shower, fully clothed, completely submerged in the water that fell from your shower head. Sighing, he pressed his lips together. Kicking off his shoes and removing his shirt.

“This is what we're doing huh?” Bob sighed to himself as he stepped into the shower. Standing behind you as you cried. His hands resting on your shoulders letting you know he was here. The moment bobs hands touched your shoulders you gave in, your legs weak as you collapsed. “Shit—“ Bob gasped as he came down with you. His legs falling either side of you as you leant back into his chest. “Hey, easy—I got you, I got you.”

“I fucking hate this.” You cried out. “Why? I didn’t ask for it I wasn’t even doing anything I just—“ you felt like you couldn’t breathe. Bob worked to hold you close, listening to you cry. Bob didn’t know what to do except console you, holding you close, your back against his chest. “This god damn hell of a world—“ you sobbed uncontrollably, anger bubbling to the surface as you let everything out. Bob couldn’t stand to see you so hurt, so vulnerable.

“Let me tell you something you already know, alright?” Bob worked to move the hair that clung to you like glue. “The worlds not all sunshine and rainbows, it's a very mean and nasty place.” Bob cooed softly as he held you. The water running over you as your sons settled at the sound of his voice. Always a comfort. “And I don't care how tough you think you need to be right now but it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.” Bob didn’t want this to change who you were. He knew it would always stay with you, but he didn’t want it to change a single thing about you. Your smile, your laugh,the way you lit up any room. “Life hits hard but it's about how hard you can take the hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward.” The silence lingered between you and Bob as the water rushed over you. The back of your head resting against his chest. “I know to you, it probably feels like the best thing for you to do right now would be to stay silent, lay low, process everything. But if Leo can so easily do this to you he could very much do it again and again and if i'm being completely honest? He's probably gotten away with this already.”

“I know i have to tell someone but i just cant right now Bob, i'm tired, my head hurts, and all i want to do is sleep.” You sobbed, sniffling as you grabbed Bob's hands, gently pulling them into your eyeline. Letting out a hiss as the hot water washed the grim from the bloodied knuckles he wore. “I didn't say thankyou for coming.”

“You don't need to thank me.” Bob let his head rest against the tiles of your shower, accepting the fact he was completely soaked and not going anywhere anytime soon. “Just doing what I was taught to do.”

“What would that be?” you questioned as you picked up the soaked washcloth from the ground, working to dab Bob's knuckles as he hissed softly. The sting all too real. Bob wasn't sure if now would be a good time but he didnt know how to stop himself.

“I uh, nows probably not the most appropriate time given the circumstances but um– i was just trying to protect you because i think– i love you.” You kept dabbing away at Bob's knuckles as your heart skipped a beat. Bob shifted in his place behind you gently as he sat up a little straighter. His chin coming to rest on your shoulder. “You don't have to love me back, I think I'd just be happy having you in my life, but please try and remember that I will never let anyone hurt you ever again and if anything I'm sorry I just didn't come with you in the first place.” Bob's voice was soft, sincere and apologetic. “I don't think I'll ever turn down an offer to go anywhere with you ever again.” you let out a soft chuckle as you admired your work, Bob's knuckles as clean as bruised knuckles could be after bare knuckle boxing something's face. “I'm sorry.”

“You are the last person who should be saying sorry Bob.” Robert Floyd was a good man, that much you knew for sure. He was kind and caring and was the most sincere soul you'd ever been blessed to know. You loved him. Working to push yourself off the ground before Bob followed, you stood to face him under the water that fell from your showerhead. “I'm not ready to talk to the police about this yet, but I will, I just dont wanna become another statistic that's forgotten about on some shelf until it's too late.” Bob's heart broke for you knowing that more often than not, that's exactly what happened.

“If I have anything to do with it, Leo won't graduate.” Bob added. You smiled as your hands fell to his chest. Bob's arms resting against your hips. “God if he shows up to class on Tuesday ill–” you didn't hesitate to interrupt Bob with a gentle kiss to his lips. Pulling away a few seconds later.

“I think I love you too.” you cooed. Bob couldn't remember where he was going with what he was just saying, maybe that was your plan. If it was, it worked because Bob had his lips back on yours and his hands cupping your cheeks in seconds. Slowly melting away with you as you deepened the kiss, tongues dancing gracefully together as Bob begged for more of you and you begged for more of him. As things started to get a little too heated you pulled back. “I think I just need a little time.” you explained. Bob nodded in response as he tried to regulate his heartbeat. Kissing your forehead, Bob pulled you close as he wrapped his arms around you.

“We have, so much time.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~

Tags: @kkrenae @lexhalstead3 @justanothermagicalsara @luckyladycreator2 @milesrooster @a-serene-place-to-be @marantha @red-undead-raptor @shanimallina87 @sarahjoestewy-blog

#bob floyd angst #robert bob floyd #bob floyd fanfiction #top gun maverick fanfiction #bob floyd x reader #bob floyd x you #bob floyd #top gun bob

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kromaticglass · 6 months

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I've been sitting on this for a while because I'm not usually one for writing out my thoughts on characters in media that I like but honestly I need to yell about just how much I love Wriothesley as a character and how his story is written.

Don't get me wrong, I love Scaramouche, and I love his story arc, but there's something about this absolutely horrific past that Wriothesley grew up in and despite everything that should have made him a bitter person, he's so selfless. Selfless to the point of completely overturning a system that had been working in it's own horrific manner for hundreds of years as a teenager/young adult in order to make it better and actively work on fixing people, not just let them fall between the cracks of a society that sent them away to be forgotten.

Putting this under a read more because I'm going to yell about this a lot.

When we're first learning about Wriothesley we're introduced to the fact that he was an orphan. This brings up questions to start with; how was he first orphaned? By the sounds of things he wasn't willingly given away to the foster family that he ended up living with, he was on the streets or at the very least was on his own for a time before he ended up there. The first thing that my mind goes to is that this means either his parents abandoned him or they died/were killed, which may also be the reason he seemingly was desensitized to death as a kid - I'll get to that point later, it's important.

Just how long he was on the streets before he was taken in by his foster family isn't mentioned, but I'd expect it was at least a year or so, just from some context clues we got from both his story quest and his character stories that you unlock with friendship. When in his foster home, things were supposedly a picture perfect family, a dollhouse where people looking in would only see the perfect picture but as soon as curtains closed it was something very different.

Households like that are traumatising, it's no wonder that Wriothesley's ability to trust in people is shot. The people who were supposed to care for him after promising a good life were nothing but a front and in his eyes he once more was on his own. For a child to decide to willingly orphan themselves a second time is so taxing on the mind, I could only imagine the stress he would've been under.

But what really gets me is the fact that he eventually came to the conclusion that in order to stop the cycle of picking up kids and selling them off to the highest bidder and killing the ones that didn't sell, Wriothesley didn't think about contacting gardes, didn't go to anyone else about it, he took matters into his own hands.

Not just that, but that he had to kill them.

It takes a lot for someone to work themselves up into killing another person. If you've never taken a life before, most people will hesitate, they'll be sick, or they'll completely shut down and remove themselves mentally from the situation, there's a very visceral reaction that happens in the human brain when you're pushed so far into stress responses that you'll take another life, and this was a teenager. This is why I feel like he would've been desensitized to death or at the very least gruesome scenes like this from a much younger age.

One can only wonder just what was going through his mind during the time he was away, taking the odd jobs to create that first prototype of his gauntlets that he used to shoot nails at his parents. It may not be as personal as taking a knife to someone, but using a nailgun is a bloody affair, the wounds needed to make that fatal are grievous if done by an inexperienced hand. And from what we're told in the character story, it sounds like his parents fought back, hard enough that it very nearly killed Wriothesley as well.

It makes me wonder just what he was thinking, or feeling in that moment, was it fear? Anger? A mix of many things? Or was he simply numb to it until he woke up in the hospital bed later? From what we hear in his tone during the story quest, he sounds apathetic about retelling the story, but that could be a result of trying to compartmentalize the renewed trauma that was rekindled thanks to the gem he touched.

And the trial, lets not forget that. On the day he wakes up from his injuries, he's served papers to face in court, and given a timeline for his recovery. The character story says the trial went with little fanfare and that he accepted the charges with little to no protest, it makes me think about just what could've gone through his head during the time he was recovering.

Wriothesley states that he knew he was guilty in the eyes of the law, and that his methods were extreme and he knows that. Because he survived his injuries when he expected to die from them, it makes me think that he knew he would be going to the Fortress of Meropide once he got to the trial. Given how much of a lawless land the Fortress was back then, I wonder if this was Wriothesley's own way of putting himself back into the hands of fate again, or maybe in some way, taking it back into his own hands.

Character Story 2 and his Vision story tells us more about his time in Meropide before taking it over, and how chaotic it sounded. He arrived in the Fortress and found his Vision in his pockets when being processed, and the first thing he's told is "hide it well". This was the only warning he got from anyone about how life in the Fortress was at that time, and he took that to heart in order to not lose anything precious to him.

Meropide was a place you could pay for someone to die in back then, among other things like drugs and probably far more things that Hoyoverse wouldn't mention for the sake of keeping things PG. It certainly doesn't seem like a place a teenager would be safe in and yet despite all odds, Wriothesley thrived and amassed a massive collection of credit coupons in order to make his name known.

It doesn't say much about what a feat that is, especially the line where it mentions that he amassed more coupons than anyone else in the Fortress combined. He figured out how the place ticked and made it sing to his own tempo instead of simply falling in line, that's such an impressive feat for anyone to do, let alone someone who would've had to fight tooth and nail to even get the respect needed for people to see him with as much power as he seemed to gain by the time he took over.

When he challenged the former administrator to a duel, the story mentions how Wriothesley was saved from having to get another person’s blood on his hands because he fled from the Fortress instead of showing up. And sure we could gloss over this as he was glad about not needing to fight him in the end, but this also implies that if the fight had've gone on instead of what happened, Wriothesley would've either beaten that man within an inch of his life or taken it. He would've taken another life for the sake of other people, once again.

This is something I've noticed is a theme with Wriothesley. He has either little regard for or at the very least places his own safety below others, so long as it's doing what he thinks is right or protects other people. During his story quest when he's being shot at, Wriothesley does little to protect himself aside from some minimal protection with his cryo vision against the bullets shot at him, but the moment that the gun is turned to the Traveler, he spent absolutely no time in very nearly killing Dougier (if the Traveler hadn't been there, I think there would've been a 75%-85% chance that he would've killed Dougier) and putting him in his place.

We see this again with the Archon quest where Wriothesley and Clorinde fight back the Primordial Sea. He spend his own safety and energy icing over the doors in order to save people in the Fortress from the Primordial Sea until Neuvillette could get there, at the risk of his own safety and very nearly getting trapped and dissolved by the waters.

That's not even taking into consideration the work he did on the Wingalet. We saw so little of it in the 4.2 Archon Quest, I was almost disappointed, but the fact that instead of staying idle about the prophecy, he spent so much time and energy making a ship like that and keeping it a secret from most parties until the time came all for the reason of saving as many Fontainians as possible just kills me.

Wriothesley has been through so much, and instead of that horrible backstory and all that trauma turning him into a bitter and hateful person, he instead uses it to give others a better life than he had just crushes me. He took over Meropide and reformed it into a place where not only does it help people now, but is such a nice place to be that inmates want to stay afterwards warms my heart. Like, for sure there's the fact that people staying down there reintegrating into society would be a challenge but I love the fact that there's even the choice to stay down there after the term is over instead of simply turning people lose and risking them returning back down after repeating crimes.

Anyway what I'm trying to get at here is that Wriothesley is such a well written character and I want Hoyoverse to give us more characters like this. I'm rambling way too much and I'm sure like 80% is incoherent bullshit but I needed to get my feelings off my chest about this lol.

If you made it this far thanks for putting up with my rambling LMAO.

#genshin impact #wriothesley #i have so many feelings about this man #got me wanting to dust off my old fanfic bones to write something #but i havent written a fic in over 8 years and thats such a long time to get back into it #and i feel like i could not do it justice #but ugh #i have feelings #and none of them are okay #long post #im so sorry for anyone who is not in the genshin fandom getting subjected to my bullshit #if you see typos no you dont

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pjshermann · 1 month

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Why does Lucien's daughter hate Jude? When they meet, I think it is at the hospital, she says something like "Look who it is, Daddy's pet" and Jude is embarrassed. The other daughter tells her off and is friendly toward Jude. Did Lucien over praise Jude? Brag of him during family dinners because Lucien was Jude’s workplace law mentor/boss ? Jude is, of course, disabled and did this make Lucien over protective? Lucien's narky daughter has attended rehab and isn't a lawyer like her sister, so perhaps she sees Jude as some kind of family interloper, a cuckoo, the 'son' her dad wanted (and Harold feels a ping of jealousy when Lucien visits Jude in Greene Street after Caleb's attack). Using the word 'pet' too in a negative way feels like she is mocking Jude and giving him a low status. Just thinking of this brief scene.

I was very confused by this passage as well, especially since it just felt like it came out of nowhere. But I think you’ve answered your own question already haha there are certainly two scenarios for why Portia hated Jude in this scene

We all know Lucien and Jude had a very close relationship that went beyond just a simple boss-employee or mentor-employee bond.

Lucien was always the one to tell Jude how proud he was or how significant his case winnings were. He was the one who recognized Jude’s extraordinary abilities and recruited him to Rosen Pritchard. He was always telling Jude to take care of himself, to go eat or sleep after a long day of work. Lucien came to visit Jude after Caleb nearly killed him, and Lucien often visited him in the hospital after his suicide attempt. He called multiple times just to talk to him, just to chat. He cared for Jude’s health a lot, but he never treated Jude like a child or as someone to be babied. He recognized Jude’s want to prove himself capable and to be treated as an adult and respected that as much as he could.

But even as much as he respected Jude’s independence, he still took on a very parental role towards him. Before Jude begins dating Caleb, he’s one of the people who pester him about being single. He even says to Jude “I just think that I’d like to see you settled down with someone.” which is very similar to Harold’s own words of “We’d like to see you with someone.” Now that’s sort of abnormal for a boss to care about, isn’t it? But Lucien and Jude were close, and Lucien saw Jude as a responsibility of his, possibly even saw him as a son. Lucien’s admiration and care for Jude was so obvious that Harold even noticed and felt a little jealous that someone else had taken on such a parental role towards Jude.

So yes, one possible reason for her attitude towards him is Portia is jealous of Jude, or jealous of her father’s relationship with Jude/how much her father admired him. She could even see Jude as being an intruder of sorts, poking in on what is meant to be a family affair when he isn’t family.

But I also think that perhaps Portia was just feeling upset that day. After all, her father is in the hospital after suffering a debilitating stroke. Not to mention her own life doesn’t seem to be going well, seeing as she’s constantly going in and out of rehab. Jude mentions that he’s met Lucien’s daughters before, and even the younger one obviously recognized him enough to call him by name and express her condolences for Willem. He is surprised when Portia looks at him with hatred, which could possibly indicate that she’s never held animosity towards him before, at least not outwardly. She might’ve just been snappy that day and found a target to take her anger out on. Maybe her words were what she actually feels towards Jude, maybe she just wanted to be snarky. We just don’t know enough about her character to make a certain conclusion.

This ask reminds me of how I was thinking just the other day about how much I love the background characters of A Little Life, the ones who show up for just a split second or so. Shout out to Felix i love u and your punk rock band ! Shout out to Judge Sullivan for being a fat fuck !

#reblog or reply with your fav background ALL character #I wanna see which ones people pick #thank u for the ask!#a little life #a little life play #jude st francis #een klein leven #a little life book #ask #ALL ask

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tookerthetookiest · 1 year

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Wanderer/ Scaramouche x Reader

Kinda angsty

@fruityvegetable - OP's Idea

* Ok but imagine a fanfic w/ fatui recruit reader who has a big, fat, highschool level crush on scara. Scaramouche being him is obviously disgusted by this and pushes the reader away but they never really get the hint. He soon realizes that they'd do whatever he wants without question (besides leaving him ofc). So, he plays in. Leaning into their affection to get some other selfish motive he has. Reader is ofc, estatic thats scara has finally 'accepted' their love. *

This is what happened after the reader heard Scara talking with the other harbingers about how he's only using the reader for his own ideals. That's my shortened version, for more detail you can check out the Fruityvegetables account!! They repost some funny and cute pics too, so go on over to them!!

"Send for (y/n)! Now!" The indigo haired man yelled at a subordinate. Wasting no time the fatui agent scurried away to summon you.

You walked into his office with a blank expression, "Yes my lord" you said with a bow, not looking up til he spoke again. He was agitated, as per usual, though this time he had a reason. Since when had you become so monotone? Where was the annoying, energetic, loud person he hated so much. He paid no mind to it as you may have just woken up or something?? Yeah, that's probably it.

"Tch, I have a mission for you." You rose your head to see his cheek in his palm, elbow resting on his desk, eyes opening to look at you. He readjusted his form to sit in a more intimidating manner. Finally seeing your face he came to the conclusion you were most definitely tired. Eyes droopy, bags under them, an overall mood change, you even looked as though you were crying, but what for? He was worried, but him being him, he decided to just not care.

You only stood there, arms at your side, awaiting your order. The more he looked at you the more he wonders what has you in such a state, though your just a pawn in his game, he shouldn't he caring this much.

"I need you to go to X location and oversee that the items are getting safely transported to Y location" His eyes never leaving your figure, waiting to see your reaction. How he hoped you would say your normal "Of coarse my lord! How kind of you to allow me to watch over goods of yours!!<<333" or something along those lines. That never happened and much to his dismay you replied with "Yes Sir Balladeer, also I must inform you-" he cut you off "I swear if it's some dumb shit I'm going to kill you" He said, expecting this whole thing to be some sort of joke. How wrong he was "Ahem, as I was saying. I must inform you that I have requested to be transferred to Lord Tartaglia."

With that, something inside him snapped. Childe!? Out of all, you chose Childe! Plus you were his! Ahem, his subordinate of course. How could you just choose to leave out of the blue. Barely any warning to go with it, he was prepared to destroy whatever or whoever led you to this decision. "WHAT? WHY! HAVE YOU NO SENSE, ARE YOU THAT STUPID. LEAVING ME?? DO YOU REALLY HAVE A DEATH WISH?!?!!" Yes, he's been angry, that's basically his whole personality, but this was different. He was angry, jealous, confused, sad all in one.

"My lord, you should already know why I'm leaving. You yourself said I would eventually no longer be of use to you. I'll take my leave now." He was perplexed, he said what? Then it all clicked. You heard him. You heard everything he said. Just then he felt everything come crashing down. He was lucky you closed his door, he began.... Crying?

Tears were forming, his eyes wide, unable to process what was going on. Why was he acting this way, for some random person he could easily replace. He could live his life without you anyday, you were annoying anyway. The more he sat and pondered, the more tears flowed, the more he finally realized. He loved you. You weren't someone he could replace, no one in this world could ever truly love him as you did. You had no reason to love him for this long, he gave no reason, yet you still did. He realized he can't live without you, you were apart of his routine.

Now you were leaving? He thought 'Just like everyone else' but he realized once again, it was his fault.

He couldn't bare letting you leave. He rose from his seat, hat covering his face as tears fell, then he ran. Ran til he arrived at your room, not wasting a second to open the door. He looked up, teary eyed, only for them to be left open in shock. Was this the right room, he checked again, yup it was the right one. But where were you, the room was surprisingly empty. Had you planned this. He said it only a day ago, how were you this quick. The tears were uncontrollable at this point. "No, nononono no no no" he chanted.

He walked into the room, noticing a paper on your bed. "I will be leaving as soon as possible, it wasn't Tartaglia I was transferring over to. I'm not actually transferring over to anyone, I'm leaving the fatui, disappearing completely. It'll be hard seeing as everyone will be hunting me down as a traitor of the fatui. But I cannot bare the thought of someone I loved treat me as a mere peice to a puzzle and I know you will never love me the way I did you. I'm sorry my lord...... My love. " With that he searched the entire building, with you nowhere to be seen.

If only he realized his love for you sooner, maybe he could've prevented this. You were the only one to truly see him as a person, someone to be loved, cherished, admired. And he just threw you away. He deserved it, though it won't stop him from searching for you. He needs you back in his life. His new life, as a Wanderer. He's changed, changed for you, and he won't stop searching until he can live his life with you.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

I tried ┐⁠(⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠￣⁠)⁠┌, it turned out way longer that I was expecting, probably got boring at the end. But I'm still proud of it! Hope you enjoyed reading this!! Please leave requests for me!!

Have a great morning, evening or night!! ☀️🌙🌅

#Scaramouche #Wanderer #scaramouche x reader #Wanderer x reader #Genshin x reader #Genshin impact x reader #scaramouche fanfic #scaramouche angst #Wanderer fanfic #wanderer angst

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gemini-magic17 · 7 months

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Entanglement Chapter Seven

Waking up in the morning after the night of the celebration left me feeling happy almost excited about what today would bring. Even though Kit was standoffish to me at first I think after the talk we had yesterday everything would turn around for the better. Pulling back the covers I start to get ready for the day. Finishing up what I was doing I walked towards the door about to leave when there was a knock.

"Excuse me, Princess Y/n are you in there", recognizing the voice I opened to met with the face of Prince Airk.

"Hello, I was just about to head out. Is there anything I can do for you", I asked.

"I just wanted to formally introduce myself since we didn't get a chance to talk last night."

"I'm sorry about that. I was preoccupied but that is no excuse for not interacting with you Prince Airk", I said.

"No worries and please you are to be my sister-in-law call me Airk. Titles seem so formal and impersonal don't you think"?

"Yes, I do in fact", smiling at his remark.

"I came to tell you that Kit wanted to go horseback riding with you", he said with sincerity.

"Really, she said that", sounding too eager.

"Yes, she has been looking for you but she couldn't find you. She came to the conclusion that you must still be sleeping from the festivities."

"What can I say about the party it drained me", I laughed and so did he.

"Where did she want me to meet her"?

"Kit wants you to meet her at the entrance of the castle. She said she will already have the horses ready to go."

"Great, thank you", right before I was about to leave I decided to ask Airk the impending question that has been on my mind for a while now.

"Airk, do you mind if I ask you a question? You don't have to answer it if you don't want to", I said nervously looking him in the eye. He seemed a little put off by what I could possibly ask him.

"Who is that girl that Kit is always with", trying not to sound jealous.

"Oh, that's Jade she's been assigned to protect Kit, and have been friends for a long time", he said.

"Oh, ok."

"Why do you ask"?

"It's just that if we are to be married I should know the important people in her life", it wasn't a total lie but most of it was out of asking because of the close relationship those two seem to have.

"Yeah, I guess you are right", looking me up and down as if he knew that its not the real reason for me asking. Changing the subject I told him I better get going.

"I will see you later then Y/n."

"It was nice to meet you Airk", turning to walk off I stopped to ask one more question.

"Hey, Airk."

"Yeah, what is it", he turned around.

"Why did Kit send you to come find me", I asked genuinely curious.

"She didn't I volunteered", He winked at me giving me his signature smile and proceeded to walk off.

From what he just said it's almost as if he was flirting with me but that can't be I am meant to marry his sister. I mean right he wouldn't do that. Remembering that I have to meet Kit I rush to the courtyard and push that interaction with Airk out of my head.

Waiting around for this girl is starting to irritate me. I looked all over for her and she was nowhere to be found. It's almost noon if she is still asleep she is worse than Airk when he was a child. I wish she would just show up already the sooner we do this the sooner it can be over. As if on cue she comes running up to me out of breath.

"I'm sorry I hope didn't keep you waiting long."

"No, not at all Y/n", I said gritting through my teeth.

"I assume my brother found you as he can find anyone in this god forsaken kingdom."

"Yes, he did", she said.

"So, what do you think of him be honest because I know how much of a pain in the ass he can be", I said genuinely curious about what kind of impression Airk left on her especially since I see the way he looks at her.

"He's nice almost cocky and too sure of himself. Your brother and mine would get along just fine", she laughed.

"That sounds like Airk for you."

Making our way to the horses I saddle on Chief, an auburn, strong, and well-trained horse. Y/n saddled the most stubborn horse in the kingdom known as Shadowwing who was as white as the given snow. The name given to her didn't much make sense but Airk did name her when he was a kid so I guess that explains it.

Taking off in the direction of the forest the horses sped up basically making it a competition. Now this could turn out very badly considering Shadowwing does not like to lose EVER. Picking up their speed you could tell that these horses had no intention of stopping soon. Looking over at Y/n she didn't seem to be scared on the contrary, she was all smiles having the time of her life.

Reaching a spot in the forest we stopped without trouble from Shadowwing. It's amazing how Y/n got that horse to do what she wanted. Nobody has been able to do that before and if they tried it would usually follow up with a kick from the horse. Dismounting from our horses we sat down on the ground looking at the world around us. She looked in awe almost as if she was seeing something like this for the first time.

"So, Y/n what is it like in Zemira", I asked trying to make conversation.

"It's beautiful there. The people are gracious, accepting, and caring throughout the Kingdom. It is filled with art, history, and music making it so lively. Then there are our training yards throughout Zemira. If you were to come I am sure you would love it. My brother has trained with only the best knights since he was an itty bitty thing."

"Is that so? Do you train"?

"Well, I used to but there was an accident that caused me to stop", she said twiddling with her thumbs.

"Accidents happen all the time that is what happens when you train. You just brush it off and get back out here."

"Let's just say this particular accident forced my mother's hand into banning me from training again. Plus if I ever did pick up a sword again she would know. She has eyes and ears everywhere in Zemira especially when it comes to her children."

"You can't let that stop you. If I did everything my mother said no to I wouldn't be who I am today", I said not accepting what she had relayed to me.

"I just can't ok. Can you just drop it", she said rather harshly.

"Yeah, sorry didn't mean to upset", damn what the hell happened to make her snap like that.

"It's fine I just don't like talking about it."

The awkward silence filling the air was too much to bear. Then out of nowhere Y/n asked a question I didn't expect for her to ask.

"Kit, what's Jade like", she said.

"I'm sorry what", taken aback.

"It's just you two seem to be attached at the hip and since your brother told me that she is practically your best friend I just wanted to know what she is like that's all."

"Uhh, Jade is great. She is brave, courageous, and strong. The situations we have been in where we have almost been killed and she saved us is something that makes her extraordinary. I have met a lot of people in my life but not someone like Jade", I said smiling.

** Y/n's POV

After her answer, I should've known not to ask that question. It's like people always say don't ask questions you don't want the answer to. I can tell that she cares for her deeply for her which is something that is never going to change. After a while of just sitting and conversing about random things from favorite books to what is the craziest thing you have ever done we decided to head back. Mounting our horses we made quick way to the castle. Not taking long, perhaps fifteen maybe twenty minutes we arrived. Dismounting from Shadowwing I wrapped the handle around a stall door handle and Kit did the same with Chief.

Turning to her I told her that I enjoyed it and that we should do it again.

"Yeah, sounds like fun", she said smiling. I headed back to my room because I was in desperate need of a bath with me smelling like a horse.

The running water filling the tub with almost scorching hot water is what I needed. I started to undress and before I could get the chance to set foot in the water I saw my reflection. Staring back at me were the scars from that horrific day with James even though it was not intentional. Two big scars across my back forever never to be gone. Sinking into the water the sensation of the heat helped with any ache that presented itself. Looking back at what happened I wish to never even think about it. Thinking about the day when I almost died at my brother's hand is something I can't stomach.

#kit tanthalos x reader #hazel callahan x reader

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myuiis · 4 months

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(same anon who asked for sinu analysis) well first off let me ask your thoughts on YeonhuixSinu

Despite my undying love for this man- I'll admit they're cute n all BUT I always felt it was undeveloped.

I don't know if it's just me but when Jason (I think) said he'd snitch about him being with neko to her I was confused back when he was still under the influence of those pills at workers. Like, Did I miss something? Did I forget something from the gaps between the arcs? Idk. But even if she was shown to be worried over Sinu, it didn't seem romantic at all especially that all the big deal girls cared too. PTJ also made it seem like an already established relationship and I'm still questioning when?? She seemed to know him well and all but no hinting of any romantic attraction was there, just your average big deal romanticism and admiration lol.

I understand that PTJ has to leave some details away for the sake of the pacing but I think he could've at least thrown some hints here and there.

ok yeah. so this won't be a super long post because i am tired but good lord i am very... lukewarm about sinu and yeonhui. im with you on the "who?" when yeonhui was mentioned again in 2a. now im glad that sinu is with someone he's happy with but man... sinu and yeonhui is just such a mid ship compared to literally anyone else he could've been shipped with. let me explain.

yeonhui's lack of presence in the story. now this is probably the main reason i find this ship so lackluster. how am i supposed to root for a ship when the female love interest is literally like npc #125? while she did have more presence than the other girls on the street, this isn't really a high bar considering ptj's track record writing female characters. and this isn't to say she was boring or had a bland personality either (even though she KINDA did...). she was strong and independent, stood up to samuel when he tried to extort them for money (iirc), bore the burden of sinu's sacrifice and stayed strong for big deal, and was there to comfort jake when he learned of the news. she could've been a REALLY interesting character because she was so strong and also stuck to her ideals in the same way sinu did, so they could've been such a power couple, had yeonhui been developed more. it would've been nice to see yeonhui and sinu strategize about how to protect big deal together, or see more of yeonhui bandaging and caring for sinu after he gets hurt, or seeing sinu bring yeonhui gifts and money... or anything, really. the two have barely have any substantial interactions over the entire arc besides the last part where sinu's about to sacrifice himself, so much so that it makes me wonder... who is this yeonhui person? why are they important again.

chemistry. this mainly comes up to personal preference but yeonhui and sinu feel more like an older sister-younger brother dynamic to me. yeonhui took sinu in as a child, fed, clothed, and cared for him, and then continues to take care of him as an adult, which comes off as big sis behavior. again, some people may like this dynamic romantically, but i personally find it super platonic and sibling-leaning.

other sinu ships. idk. just find it a LITTLE heteronormative that any man and woman who share a little bit of screentime together are instantly a couple while sinu and jake can be out here pulling "you are my everything" and "i came back to big deal for you and you alone, jake" moments, and they'll still be just "good bros". again, kind of up to personal preference, but if you compare yeonhui x sinu to jake x sinu or even samuel x sinu, there's a clear lack of interactions and chemistry for yeonhui x sinu

so yeah. thats kinda it. this ended up being way longer than i expected so im not gonna write a conclusion paragraph but those are my thoughts around yeonhui and sinu together romantically.

#lookism #lookism manhwa #lookism webtoon #jake kim #samuel seo #sinu han #yeonhui #kim gimyung #kim gimyeong #han shinwoo #seo seongeun #big deal #lookism rant #myuiis bullshit

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mariacallous · 3 months

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Support groups for parents of LGBTQ+ children have existed in Russia since at least the early 2010s — though it’s more accurate to call them mothers’ groups: in over 13 years of existence, no fathers have joined. Over the past decade, LGBTQ+ rights in Russia have been increasingly under attack, with more and more anti-LGBTQ+ legislation passed. On November 30, 2023, the Russian Supreme Court classified anything to do with the so-called “international LGBT movement” as “extremism,” effectively putting parents under threat of criminal prosecution for caring for their LGBTQ+ children. Two mothers who’ve been part of the LGBTQ+ parent community in Russia for the past decade agreed to speak with Verstka about how they’ve tried to protect their children and fight for their rights in the face of increasing hatred. Meduza shares a retelling in English.

The names of the people in this story who are still in Russia have been changed for safety reasons.

Svetlana

Sixty-two-year-old Svetlana from St. Petersburg raised her son, Yevgeny, as a single parent. Yevgeny, who passed away a few years ago, came out to his mom as gay in the summer of 2009 when he was 22 years old. Svetlana took the news calmly, though she still thought her son should get married and have children. Yevgeny brought home pamphlets from psychologists with answers to common questions that parents of LGBTQ+ children might have. Svetlana read them. “My main conclusion was that a person is born gay. That was enough for me, that it’s not an illness,” she says.

Six months after Yevgeny came out, he and his mom went on vacation together with a gay couple. Svetlana says it already felt completely normal to see two men together. “In that moment, I thought to myself, it would be good if Yevgeny had someone too,” she recalls. That’s usually how it is, she adds: “A parent accepts their child after six months.” Only a few accept their child’s sexuality right away.

On Svetlana’s living room wall, there’s a photo collage of her son and his friends in rainbow colors. Among them are many well-known St. Petersburg LGBTQ+ activists of the 2010s. Yevgeny didn’t hide the fact that he was gay and spent most of his life advocating for LGBTQ+ rights.

Svetlana’s acceptance of her son’s sexuality soon evolved into activism of her own. At an LGBTQ+ festival in St. Petersburg, she saw a screening of Prayers for Bobby, a film which tells the story of a religious mother and her gay son, Bobby, who ultimately takes his life when his mother and the Church refuse to accept him. After his death, Bobby’s mother questions her beliefs and becomes an activist for the U.S. organization Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). Following the screening, there was a discussion with parents of LGBTQ+ children. Svetlana and another mom participated. When asked if they wanted a community like PFLAG in Russia, they said yes.

The first meeting took place in St. Petersburg in January 2011. Svetlana says about seven mothers came — fathers never attended. At the time, they didn’t plan anything political; they just gathered to support each other. In late March 2011, at a press conference, Svetlana, Yevgeny, and Russian LGBT Network founder Igor Kochetkov said that if someone tried to restrict LGBTQ+ people’s rights, they’d appeal to the authorities. Soon, though, conservative United Russia politician and anti-LGBTQ+ rights crusader Vitaly Milonov, then a member of St. Petersburg’s Legislative Assembly, proposed a regional ban on “LGBT propaganda” among minors.

At first, activists still had hope they could stop the bill. LGBTQ+ youth and their moms came and held signs outside the Legislative Assembly. But on March 7, 2012, the law passed. Gradually, more and more mothers began to join the protests. “Anya, the mom of an LGBTQ+ kid from St. Petersburg, used to break dishes, but then she became an activist. There was also a mom of a transgender child; it took her a while, but then she came out holding a sign,” Svetlana recalls.

In 2012, mothers started marching at pride events. While now it seems almost unimaginable, a pride event in 2013 was actually authorized by the authorities. This didn’t protect the activists, though. One person had their face severely beaten, and everyone there was arrested. Svetlana says that even elderly mothers were shoved “very roughly” into a police van. At annual May Day pride marches, police always arrested participants and crowds shouted homophobic phrases. “In 2013, they threw rocks, feces, and rotten eggs at us and shouted all sorts of things. I won’t even quote what they were saying. You feel what hatred your son or daughter faces, and it’s very painful.”

At the beginning of his activism, Yevgeny took an aggressive stance against homophobic legislative initiatives, but after some time, he started to retreat inward and close himself off. “[When Yevgeny passed], he took with him an era where there was hope,” says Svetlana. She believes if he were still alive today, he would find the new repressions unbearable. “So many years of struggle, and all for nothing.”

Tamara

Tamara joined the St. Petersburg parent support group in 2020 when meetings were moved online because of COVID-19 restrictions. She lives in Moscow, but, as far as she knows, there weren’t any similar groups there. Tamara is 74, born during Stalin’s era. “This isn’t my first president,” she says. In the past, everyone in her social circle knew about LGBTQ+ people, but almost no one talked about them — and if they did, it was only when discussing celebrities. In 2016, Tamara learned that her youngest son, Fyodor, is gay. At the time, he was 30 years old. His father found out later.

Fyodor’s partner, Alexey, is four years older than him but looks younger, says Tamara. Despite their differences (Fyodor is a physicist and Alexey is a hairdresser), they share a lot of common interests, including a love of opera. “But most importantly, they know how to compromise with each other,” Tamara adds.

Alexey moved to Moscow with his mother as a teenager after he was attacked for being gay. “Well, that’s who he was, you could tell. There was an attempt on the child’s life. His mom left everything behind and they came to Moscow. Basically, to nowhere. Where could she turn? Who would help?” Tamara says.

Tamara had suspected that her son was gay but was afraid to ask, and he was afraid to tell her. Fyodor struggled with his identity for a long time and tried dating girls. After her son came out, Tamara says she “went through the whole journey parents go through.” “Honestly, at first, my world just collapsed. I didn’t know what to do,” she recalls. More than anything, she worried about how others might treat him. Fyodor did science outreach work with young people; he’d even received awards for it from the mayor. “I was afraid he would be completely banned if anyone, God forbid, found out.” Tamara also says that Vladimir, Fyodor’s father, often made homophobic comments: “Once, he was sitting, watching TV, and he said, ‘It’s all those LGBT people’s fault!’”

Then, Fyodor told his mom he wanted to introduce his boyfriend to the family. “Okay, don’t worry, everything will be fine,” she answered. But internally, she panicked, thinking of how her husband might react. It only got worse when she searched for information about LGBTQ+ people on the Internet and found hate groups. Eventually, she told her husband — and her fears proved unfounded. “Why are you worried?” he said. “You’ve always been tolerant. It is what it is.” Afterward, he wanted to meet his son’s boyfriend. Tamara says the meeting “went well.” Fyodor’s older brother also took the news well. He’s over 50, with his own family — on holidays they all get together with Alexey and Fyodor.

When people inquire if Fyodor has a wife or girlfriend, Tamara doesn’t know how to answer. Once, an acquaintance asked, “Does Fyodor have someone?” and she replied with relief, “Yes, he does.” “How long can one go on like this?” Tamara questions. “It’s very hard to always pretend.” She shared the news about her son and his partner with the people close to her, and everyone took it well. Now, she wonders why these conversations are taboo: “Parents are also in the closet, right? I ask other people about their kids. They all grew up right before our eyes. Why can’t I talk about mine? In our society, kids come out of the closet, but parents go in.”

On online support groups for parents of LGBTQ+ children, Tamara heard other parents’ stories and “saw moms leading completely normal lives.” Some mothers came in tears, saying: “We don't understand what this is. We’ve never heard of it before.” This was especially true for moms of transgender children. “It's hard to imagine what life is like for them now [after the crackdown on LGBTQ+ people],” says Tamara.

Children themselves also came to the groups, worried about how to tell their families. “Some do come out, but their parents don’t accept them. How can we help? How long can you live in secret? It's impossible,” Tamara says. “I know what my child went through. We had a conversation, and he told me: ‘If only you knew how much I needed support.’”

‘How can I make sure my child survives this?’

It’s estimated that LGBTQ+ people make up between 5 to 10 percent of any given society. This means that in Russia, there are at least 7 to 15 million LGBTQ+ individuals and up to 14 to 30 million parents of LGBTQ+ people.

According to kris pokrytan, a psychologist with the Plus Golos project (which mainly supports Russian-speaking families), parents of LGBTQ+ children often go through an acceptance process that isn’t linear or logical. Sometimes, there’s a “mourning period” before they come to terms with their child’s identity. But pokrytan stresses that there’s no one way to process things and not all parents grieve: “For a number of parents, [their child’s] coming out isn’t associated with a feeling of loss. Instead, there can be increased anxiety — where the parent is ready to accept [their child’s identity] but realizes there might be problems at school.”

Psychologists try to support the whole family: a child might feel relief after coming out, whereas a parent might sink into worry about how difficult life may now be — a fear only exacerbated by Russia’s latest anti-LGBTQ+ legislation. What’s dangerous is when parents show their child rejection as they navigate their own feelings. “It’s very difficult when a parent becomes unhappy with who you are,” says pokrytan. It’s possible to help work through stereotypes parents might have, but if they believe they can change who their child is, there’s very little psychologists can do.

Fathers in Russia are far less likely to accept their LGBTQ+ children than mothers, according to pokrytan. When a child comes out, their mom or dad also gets a new identity: the parent of an LGBTQ+ child. Everyone copes with this differently, but Russian fathers often don’t cope at all. The exceptions are few and far between.

After the Russian Supreme Court declared the so-called “international LGBT movement” an extremist organization, fewer people started reaching out to pokrytan. When they do, their questions are filled with a new urgency and fear: “How can I make sure my child survives this? How do we stay out of trouble with the authorities and take care of our mental health?”

‘May your love be infinite’

Fyodor and Alexey come home carrying a New Year’s tree, interrupting the interview. “What if we hadn’t welcomed them?” Tamara reflects. How would our traditions have continued? I think our son would be with us, certainly, but his beloved person, whom he’s been with for many years, wouldn’t be here. That’s a pretty strange thought.”

Tamara’s family puts on a play every New Year’s. “Alexey was very shy the first time, but now he’s gotten the hang of it,” Tamara says. “He called yesterday and said he’d invited his cousin and cousin’s girlfriend to the gathering, and also his friend and her two children. Of course, my older son and his wife and kid will be there too, as well as my husband’s sister. I’ve already assigned the roles.”

The family also organizes pride celebrations at home. At one, they held a symbolic wedding ceremony for Fyodor and Alexey. “Back then, I didn’t realize how serious it was for them. Alexey even cried, and they still wear the rings.” The speech Tamara gave at the ceremony ends with the following words:

Fate has awarded you its greatest gift — the kind of love that all seek, but only the chosen find. Its tremendous strength gives meaning to life and helps overcome difficulties and conquer any mountains. May your love be infinite. And as for whom and how to love, that’s a personal matter.

After the Supreme Court’s ruling, Alexey’s mom thought her son and Fyodor should leave the country. However, they’ve decided to stay for now. Reflecting on the court’s decision, Tamara says it’s “convenient for propaganda to use LGBTQ+ people as a tool to distract society from real problems.”

Both Svetlana and Tamara say they’re afraid for LGBTQ+ people, not for themselves. Since the new law came into effect, Svetlana says, everyone’s become occupied with figuring out how to survive, whether or not they should leave, and the feeling of community has been somewhat lost. She worries for the young activists: “You feel like you can’t help in any way.”

Tamara says it’s painful to see the situation in Russia growing worse and worse: “I think, why don’t people come to their senses? These are absurd decisions. For what? What are we suffering for? I say ‘we’ because we suffer too. I suffer along with my children. I’m not afraid for myself — nothing will happen to me. I’m only afraid for my children.”

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