#i honestly almost cried it was such a fucking brilliant performance
Note
top five fictional #girlbosses?
azula ofc the way she looks so cool and composed and clever while serving the patriarchy and ultimately has a breakdown because her ideals and lifestyle are fundamentally untenable and impossible to maintain!!! perfect character mwah <333
rebecca tedlasso she is SUCH a good girlboss I love watching her reckon with the aftereffects of her abusive marriage and learn to open her heart and be vulnerable and care again!!! when she sang that song from that one movie I fucking cried ok!!!! divorcée rights!!! <333 i mean that
valencia crazyex perez the way she goes from being “cold” and seeing other women as competition and feeling threatened by sisterhood to like. coming out and loving women both platonically and romantically and becoming so much happier and fulfilled than she ever would have been if she had stuck to her predetermined life plan that she neurotically obsessed over and strived to control every single part of!! homophobic lesbian queen icon legend!!
lady macbeth possibly the original (& sexiest) girlboss???? literally convinces her husband to commit regicide is like FUCK femininity i wanna be evil and then is almost immediately like wait being evil sucks i wanna be a mom :( ok it’s more complicated than that but honestly she breaks my heart and also is sooo fuckable which rly makes her peak girlboss tbh
and ofc my beloved of all time princess bonnibel bubblegum, mad scientist loner genius man-hating dyke pitch-perfect performer of femininity paranoid autocrat trust issues abused child all she wants is love and a family and to be understood and accepted and seen for who she is!!! best arc of all time and obviously that includes deconstructing girlbossism in the most brilliant transformative way possible bc that is what adventure time DOES babey!!!!! ugh. LOVE HA
in conclusion, the best girlboss narrative demonstrates that this mindset/lifestyle is impossible to maintain, as there is always an expiration date for how long a hollow imitation of patriarchal ideals without the rewards of true power and true confidence can sustain itself until one either implodes or learns to embrace her own vulnerability and need for love and connection! and whats more, any girlboss narrative that does not follow this philosophy is thematically useless. ok bye
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Welcome to Wacky Wally Wackford’s World!
Greetings, I say, greetings demons of all ages! The name’s Wally Wackford, an oh so suave man of business! You may not know me, but surely you’ve seen me…pretty much everywhere. Yes, I’ve never been the type to stay in one place for long. Life can be pretty wild at times. But that’s what makes it oh so fun!
So what’s my story, you say, you say? Well look no further, ‘cause I have a tale to tell.
I’ve been doing freelance work off and on, laboring at one job, moving onto the next. The jobs vary a lot, but I’m a Wally of many trades. (Yes, I’ve been fired many times as well, figuratively and literally…it is Hell after all.) Early on, I found out that living in poverty is never a lot of fun. I quickly learned how to scam other people…and boy did I enjoy it! It was the only way I could inch toward the top, get some power of my own. I’d make a few deals here and there and then when clients got desperate, I’d say something like, “Oh I’m so sorry but there’s an extra fee you have to pay. Forgot to mention that.” Then I’d point to that small scribbled section on the contract I added in moments ago.
“I’m starving, sir!” they’d say. Or, “I left my money at home,” or my favorite: “Shove it up your trickster rear!”
Sometimes they did pay me extra. Other times they didn’t…and those were the ones who soon forgot about everything forever. (chuckles).
Anyway, moving on.
Sometimes when my days got long and hard, I’d go to saloons for a nice bottled drink. The emerald colored Greed Mead is my favorite. Twirling my thin black mustache, I’d wink at some pretty imp gals nearby and say, “Hey there. You’ve been in Hell for a long time. Is that why you’re so hot?”
Most of the time, I’d get a swift punch to the face in response. The glares on their pretty faces, “Take that remark to the Sloth Ring, lazy bootleg fucker.”
So many aggressive people these days. I could tip my black hat to many imps and they’d either fall to my charms or roll their eyes. I was fine with that. There’s not much else to do in Hell then to live your life and amuse yourself with watching others struggle. In fact, pretty much every sin is encouraged, so why not keep going?
After stalking around looking for more people to scam, I came across Loo-Loo Land in the Ring of Greed. I’ve always loved that place, its vibrant atmosphere emitting joyful fun and chaotic flair. I walked on over and asked the vendor, “I say, you have any jobs here?”
“I’ve heard of you, Wacky Wally,” he said at the ticket stand. “You may be a good pick-pocket, but your skills are nothing compared to Mammon. In fact, this whole place is a fucking rip-off of Lucifer’s Lu-Lu Land!”
“All the more reason to love this place!” I exclaimed.
“Robo Fizz is putting on another show at 7pm tomorrow,” said the beefy imp vendor. “Made in Mammon’s factory and modeled after the famous imp Fizzarolli.” He then spoke in a low whisper, “It includes some behind the scenes moments for the VIPs…you know, with tentacles and ‘special features.’”
“Oh that sounds delicious!” I said with a slow grin. “It’d be great to see how his…mechanics work someday…”
The imp vendor rolled his eyes and flinched at my lighthearted comment. Always know what to say to get that grimace reaction.
“Anyway,” said the vendor, “We’re running low on staff, so you can go sell those torches over there.”
The imp pointed to a pink cart with Mammon’s jester face on it. I shrugged and got to work.
I happily rolled my cart around, selling torches wherever I went. I could honestly stare into those mesmerizing green flames all day.
“Torches here!” I drawled in my Foghorn Leghorn southern accent. “66% off when you buy four! Parties, decoration, destruction and more!”
One time on my break, I got to talk to Robo Fizz about money, shows, sex and chaos. We even cracked some jokes together. The robot seemed a little nervous in my presence but then again, he was very unpredictable on a daily basis.
“A duck, a frog, a demon and a skunk go into a bar. The bartender told them that the drinks were one dollar each. How did they pay for them? Answer: The duck had a bill, the frog had a greenback, the demon had a soul…but the skunk only had a scent!”
“Hahahaha!” Robo Fizz laughed, sparks flying near him. “Your jokes are much better than Blitzo’s corny puns!”
“Why thank you,” I replied. “But nothing beats your organ-playing animatronics in your ‘Wonderful World of Evil’ puppet show you did last month.”
Robo Fizz grinned at the compliment. “You do anything else besides selling torches?”
“I scam, I kill, I do a little bit of both. Oh and I’m also a great inventor!”
“How marvelous!” Robo Fizz grinned. “Perhaps if you have enough mayhem in you, you could perform with me at the next Fizzarolli N Friends show!”
“I say, I’d love that! I’m sure your show will be top notch, copyright be dammed…won’t it?”
Robo Fizz smiled widely, hiding a strain. “You bet it will!”
It was during one interesting day when I pushed my cart by a large tent where several Robo Fizz posters were posted. I held up a troch with a hand and called:
“Torches, I say! I say! Get your inconvenient torches here!”
Then before I knew it, the robot and a random imp crashed right into the cart.
“Ow, I say OW!” I cried as the green flames quickly spread around. After getting the flames off me, I ran for the hills out of the burning park. I sat, dejected shortly afterward. So much for that job. Along with figuring out what to do next, I also happened to watch the imp fight off Robo Fizz…and the robot falling into the dragon’s mouth.
How unfortunate.
After helping Robo Fizz from the dragon’s insides, (killing said dragon, pulling out said robot, cleaning and making quick repairs), I inched closer to him and said, “You made some new friends, I say.”
Robo Fizz stood tense with just long wires for his body, a metal skeleton of his previous appearance. “Yes…an old time co-worker of mine. A clown of an imp named Blitzo. He and his sisters were once part of a circus act called “The Amazing Imp Siblings. A bit dowdy if you ask me. ”
Robo Fizz looked around. “Hahahaha! That was some chaotic fun. But now the park is ruined!”
“I say, if I were you,” I told him, “I’d do all I could to get this park repaired and back on track. Costs a whole lotta money. The last thing you need is to have your boss disappointed in you.”
A brief look of fear came on his face. “Oh yes, yes, good idea, Wally.”
“And your friend…whether you upstage him or what, you’d best be sure Blitzo stays out of trouble. I lost my job and almost my life because of that fight!” My yellow eyes shined in a show of sadness.
“I-I will not let master Mammon down…not that I have a choice.”
“Let Asmodeus know what’s up as well.”
Robo Fizz nodded, spun away and laughed. “Time to find that rodeo clown imp!”
0 0 0
Later on after leaving Greed, I got a brilliant idea. It was after I saw some old fashioned 1800s snake man in Pride plow down buildings with a metal bulldozer vehicle. That was it! I could start my own business!
I walked over to 666 News station. “Oh Katie,” I said in my sweetest voice.
“What is it, scum?” she asked, sitting at a mirror and doing her hair. “Can’t you see I’m preparing for a back to back broadcast right now?”
“I was considering doing my very own commercial about me exploiting…erm, employing other demons for my new factory.”
Katie barked out a laugh. “Good luck with that, filthy old man! Now get out of my studio.”
“Very well,” I said. As quiet as a hell mouse, I snatched a camera with an eye at the center and made my way out the door. The rest of the materials I needed came from a nearby junkyard. (Thankfully I avoided the wrath of some hungry kangaroo parasitic queen demon). I was running out of money fast; with no job around the corner, I figured I’d start my own!
Even I don’t really know where I got my inventing skills from. Many say it was my natural trait. Others say I learned from other experts in the trade. After all, one of the quickset ways to a man’s wallet is through the latest technology.
But I, Wally Wackford would not settle for your standard modern devices. No. I preferred to make things…well, wacky.
In no time at all, I had built myself my own mini studio where I could film my commercial! Now, what to call my company? Hmm…
The Onceler One In a Lifetime Opportunity? No, not enough Ws.
Wowing Whimsical Wonderous Wonders? Nah, too many Ws.
Ah…of course! What is a company if you don’t have your name on it?
0 0 0
“Uh huh, keep going, keep going, keep going!” Blitzo insisted at the I.M.P. office.
Moxxie switched the channel again. This time, an imp appeared wearing a large black top hat, a white shirt and pants, gray vest, black bow tie and black boots. He held a cane in his hands and he also had a thin curly mustache. A mischievous grin of sharp teeth appeared on his face.
“I say, I say!” the imp exclaimed, briefly pointing his cane at the camera. “Are you looking to get work making crazy contraptions and goofy gadgets?” “Crazy Contraptions” and “Goofy Gadgets” appeared in bold spiked icons to the imp’s left and right. The imp twirled his cane.
“Well call me at Wacky Wally Wackford’s Wacky Idea ‘Factory!’”
He pulled down another screen. The title appeared in bold red, gray and white letters surrounded by pinkish circles reminiscent of classic cartoons. “Factory” appeared in quotations. Wally Wackford appeared again.
“Where you make the things and I make the money!”
Wally Wackford then got up closer to the camera with a pleading look. “Please, I’m very desperate!”
“Bingo!” Blitzo called, shooting and exploding the TV again.
0 0 0
It was actually really easy to find where Blitzo was and the new sinner inventors. The killing company of imps had me very curious. If they could start a business, why shouldn’t I? And being in the company of amazing inventors…
I could almost see the soul dollar bills floating into my hands.
I snuck up to the building, merged into the floor, eavesdropped on their fascinating conversation…
0 0 0
Crash!
A metal plank crashed into the room from above as Moxxie scurried out of the way. Loopty Goopty strolled down the plank. “Blitz!”
“Loofa!” Blitzo called, saying his name wrong. “We can explain everything. I was…”
Crash!
Millie pulled Moxxie out of the way before another metal plank landed in the spot where he would’ve been. From on the floor, Blitzo’s butt was very much in view. Blitzo glanced down at him and remarked, “Oh chill out Moxxie, if you kiss my ass any harder you’ll go right inside me.”
Moxxie turned beet red in the face and scooted further back. Millie helped him up again.
“Thanks for saving me again,” Moxxie said. “I would’ve foamed at the mouth and maybe died again.”
“Why would you think I would ever ignore you?”
Moxxie shrugged.
Just then, the demonic form of a man rolled down the plank. His body was black and spherical, with a mint green head wearing a black bowler hat on top. He had a large bushy light gray mustache and pince-nez goggles with dark red spirals on the lens like Loopty. His grinning teeth resembled piano keys.
“Lyle Lipton?!” Millie, Moxxie, and Blitzo asked in unison.
“I don’t understand,” said Millie. “We thought you went to Heaven.”
Lyle Lipton chuckled. “Heaven?” He rolled toward Loopty Goopty. “You don’t make millions in technological advances in robotics by not experimenting on the poor!” He laughed.
Loopy Goopty grinned as he unleashed his weapons in front of Lyle Lipton. “Finally! We meet again at last! Now that you’re dead, you have no money to keep from me!”
“Well, I’m a better inventor than you!” Lyle scoffed. “And I’ll make the most money here first!”
“Nonsense you no good son of a bitch!”
“Tie yourself in a knot, loony Loopty!”
“Roll in your grave, fat shit inventor!”
“Two robotic inventors?!” called a nearby voice. A steampunk blimp hovered in the air and a well-dressed snake demon appeared from a hole in his ship.
“Who is that guy?” Lyle Lipton asked.
“I’m the one and only Sir Pentious!” he declared. Several Egg Bois were steering his ship. The eye on his dark top hat peered at the other sinners in curiosity. “With my dominating machines, I aim to take over all of Pentagram City!” Then he muttered, “The repairs were a fucking nightmare to endure.” He glanced at the leftover cracks and holes on the metal sides of his ship.
“Oooh!” Loopty exclaimed in admiration. “I’ve only seen such inventions in old time history books. How long have you been here?”
“Since eighteen eighty eight!”
“Love the loopy numbers!” Loopty grinned, making three small eights with his contraptions. “I’m Loopty Goopty! Lyle is my could’ve been partner in crime but actually rival!”
“When you’re rich as me, who needs a dead partner!” Lyle exclaimed.
“You’re dead too, you know!”
“Where did you cowardly sinners get here?” Sir Pentious asked.
“Well we just got here,” Lyle called. “Experimenting on the poor made us millionaires! Just…be careful when messing with anti-aging machines. Made us both old.”
“A machine that changes one’s age?” Sir Pentious pondered. “That could prove to be ussseful in the future,” he hissed.
“Oh, you should join us, snake man!” Loopy suggested. “Or me, rather.”
Sir Pentious briefly glared. “Hmm. While I’m perfectly capable of spreading my constrictive terror on my own…I suppose having some…lackey sidekicks would suffice.”
“Don’t call us lackeys!” Lyle sneered. “And I’m not working with him!”
“Maybe if we briefly collaborate as a team…”
Lyle grumbled in annoyance.
After a moment, Sir Pentious sighed. “Okay, you may join me, but…”
He spread out his hood, revealing pink eyes. “Don’t even think about crossssing me.” He pulled his hood back. “Now go gather your contraptions and help me manage those scrambled fucking eggs!”
A bunch of eggs in top hats and suits rolled out and jumped on the two inventors, who were stunned.
Loopty then laughed evilly. “Inventors to inventors it is!”
Just then, I popped out of the ground in the room.
“Did someone say, I say inventors?! Name’s Wally Wackford, and I am lookin’ for creative new people to exploit! I mean employ.” I twirled my mustache with an evil grin.
At last, a chance to expand my business of the mass production of robotic Fizzarollis! All of Hell will go crazy when they get a chance to buy all the sex robots, the merchandise, everything...and all to profit ME!
“Everyone, stop fucking up my walls!” Blitzo yelled. “Moxxie’s gonna have to fix all this shit! Satan’s balls! First we deal with Heaven’s table-scraps, now this?”
I smiled. “Well I guess you can say, you say, you have a holey operation here, Blitzo!”
I slapped my knee and laughed at my own joke.
“Get out,” Blitzo muttered.
Soon I doubled down on the floor laughing. “Oh! I said, ‘o’!”
Blitzo yelled, “No, I’m serious, get the fuck out!”
Everyone in the room looked at Blitzo in shock and surprise.
0 0 0
And then, that one other time where I helped host the Harvest Moon Festival Pain Games!
Wally Wackford a.k.a. me…stood on the wooden stage, holding a gray microphone decorated with an eye in the center and small horns on the top. I wore my usual white shirt, vest, white pants and dark boots. I twirled my black cane and tipped my black top hat.
I spoke dramatically through the microphone.
“Welcome, I say welcome all to Wrath Ring’s annual Harvest Moon Festival! To kick things up, we have the great prince Stolas-a here to user in this here Pain Games!”
Stolas took the microphone from me and chuckled in slight embarrassment.
“How kind, Wackford.”
Stolas then addressed the audience. “Greetings tiny Wrath Ring imps. I hereby welcome you all to another year of celebrating the spoils of your labor that continue to feed the citizens of Hell!”
A crowd of imps glared at him and several boos were heard. Many of these Wrath imps were impoverished farmers who lived on scraps, meat or good crops if they were lucky. The food they worked so hard to produce was consumed by royalty and those in the other Rings. But the reward for their work was being underfed, underpaid and underappreciated instead. The unbalanced cycle had lasted for generations.
I, too, stared at Stolas with a glare in my eyes. That rich royal thinks he can parade around, doing whatever he wants. Well unfortunately for him, I have plans of my own. Once he sees what I’m capable of…
He will know who really rules the roost.
Stolas obliviously continued. “I’m happy to kick off the start of these games that will challenge the toughest imps to show their skill and dominance.” He did a little wave with his fingers. “Good luck to you all!” He noticed Blitzo in the crowd beside Moxxie and Striker and spoke lower. “Especially that sexy little one there! Yoo-hoo, Blitzy!”
“Oh fuck me,” Blitzo scowled.
A gun went off and the games began.
The first event was the race. Moxxie was instantly trampled by the other racers.
The second event was the high jump. Striker climbed over the high wooden ramp structure with ease and raced after Blitzo who jumped past him. Moxxie struggled to keep his balanced as he reached the top. He slipped down, trying to use his claws to hold on. He fell with a splash in a small puddle…and was promptly chewed on by a monstrous black and white shark with several red eyes.
The third event was an event with rope. Striker grinned as he held a tied up Blitzo. Blitzo’s arms, legs and horns were all tied up. Moxxie gulped as a stronger grinning imp tied him up with ease.
The fourth event was tug of war. The crowd cheered as the two teams pulled hard. Striker, Blitzo and Moxxie were on a team. Moxxie stumbled and fell into nearby water, where the shark attacked him again.
The fifth event was mud wrestling. Blitzo and Striker grinned as they wrestled each other, Striker getting the upper hand as he held Blitzo down, arms locked. Moxxie was instantly crushed in a football hurdle by a group of imps. As they got off of him, Moxxie sat up. And the shark leaped out of the water and over the fence.
“Mother fucker!” Moxxie screamed as the shark crushed him. (Moxxie somehow survived all this.)
I hopped back on stage.
“I say, I say for the first year ever, we have a tie, for the winner of the Harvest Moon Pain Games!”
Stolas took the microphone from me again.
“The winners are…Striker, and my darling Blitzy!” Stolas did a one-legged pose as the crowd cheered.
“Just say my name right!” Blitzo complained. He muttered “Fucking dick,” as he and Striker walked onto the stage.
0 0 0
After the event, I noticed that I.M.P. and Stolas had left. After sharing an undiscernible look with Striker, we parted ways.
I soon returned to a special place in Greed, tired but determined. I walked alone down dark hallways, torches burning green flames on either side. I wagged my pointed red tail.
I pushed open the double doors and came across a marvelous sight.
Gold. Heaps of it, just shining brightly all around the vast spacious chamber. Gold pillars held up the cavern-like ceiling, a chandelier made of bones and diamonds hung from above. There were chests of necklaces, precious gems, goblets and weapons of every shape and size. Hanging on a far wall, concealed in shadow were angelic weapons…at least half a dozen.
I stared around in amazement. Even Lucifer would be surprised if he could see this place.
I raced around and tossed the gold coins into the air. In a craze, I rolled around in a nearby pile of green dollar souls. With a grin, I stood up and stared with pride at the grinning face of the jester printed on there.
A face confident in his ability to deceive others, pursue wealth and bask in endless entertainment.
The grinning face was all too familiar…
…because it was my face.
Wally Wackford leaned his head back, mouth open in a high pitched shriek as dark magic flickered around him. The imp form fell and morphed into shadow. In the imp’s place, a large black beast with thick fur, razor sharp claws and red eyes decorating the body. The figure stood up on two powerful furry legs and sat comfortably in a giant golden throne that occupied the center of the chamber. Angular jester clothing of red, gold and purple stripes adorned the wolf body. And finally, a large spiked black crown sat atop the dark loopy jester hat with bells at the ends. A white and gold jester face showed sharp white teeth and glowing yellow eyes. Dark clawed hands juggled fresh demon skulls into the air and popped them into his large mouth. He crunched loudly before swallowing every bit.
My imp disguise was perfect. Literally no one else save for Robo Fizz and a few elites knew who was underneath. And even then, my magic was so powerful it could easily confuse anyone around me.
Being an imp has its advantages; you can travel anywhere and gather information along the way. You can track imps from a killing company and find out where they’ll likely travel to next. You can affiliate yourself with your own robotic creations, some slave imps and succubi…and then in your own form, work with a fellow Deadly Sin on the next stage.
A wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Funny, really. Wally Wackford could easily be a separate being, born into poverty, learning to scam others at an early age and go up from there. I, however, didn’t need to learn anything…deceiving others and attracting material wealth was a natural talent. As was shapeshifting.
Lucifer might not be happy with me coping his idea of a theme park…but business is business…and in Hell, anything goes.
That incompetent prince Stolas would be dead soon enough. No more Goetia showoffs to get in the way of my rule and reputation. At least the prince’s wife was rightfully concerned with maintaining tradition that has existed for centuries. Aside from my dear friend Lucifer, I was, and should be, the most powerful being in Hell. I’ll keep exploiting those I choose because money is money.
Those I.M.P. assassins have no idea who they were dealing with.
I let out a crazed evil laugh, intermingled with a wolf’s howl. With a single touch of my hand, my nearby scepter turned into gold. I admired its shiny flawless sheen. Asmodeus, Leviathan, Lucifer, Satan, Belphegor, Beelzebub and myself…the Seven Deadly Sins…circus-loving rulers of the Overlords and in charge of maintaining chaotic order in our respective Rings.
I, Mammon, had much to do.
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The Untamed, episode 39 - watching notes
How did this show manage to make me care for these characters in about one episode???
Xue Yang is 100 kinds of creepy
How does he disappear like that? That's a power we haven't seen on this show yet
This whole revenge plot is waaay too convoluted to be only about revenge
Ohoh ... this silence is too ominous
I love how A-Qing still has her rebellious streak, even in death
This is too easy ... he won't die just like this, right?
Holy shit his arm!! 😱😱😱
Um ... sorry but, it's really obvious that the actor just has his arm tugged under his clothes 😅
Whaaaaaaaat???
He's not the guy under the mask???
Who???
Who is that and why does he want the stygian tiger amulet???
I was so sure that that was him
Lan and Jin sword style? I'm wreaking my brain right now who has a strong connection to both, but I'm coming up empty
Oh no, a qing :'(
This is such a brilliant shot! Goosebumps! All over!
And wow
All the awards for song lan's actor 😥
I am ... fascinated by Xue Yang's backstory. Like ... the guy is a goddamn sociopath
With the parallels of his backstory to wwx it's almost like he's wwx without his good heart 😥
So ... all of this is a direct consequence of what happened when they met them in the flashback?
But this isn't how "human affairs" should go or even normally do! Obviously, xue Yang isn't a reliable narrator at all, but all I want to do is wrap Xiao Xingchen in my arms and tell him that not all his good faith in humanity was misplaced 💔
"Stupid, naive, dumb idiots like you, who think the world is a better place just because they did something good!"
But it is!!!! The world on it's own, without humans, isn't inherently good or evil! It is what it is. Good or evil, that's up to us! In the face of the endless indifference of the universe, every act of kindness tips the scale towards a better world!
(Sorry, my atheism is showing)
And that's why I will always have infinitely more respect for the Xiao Xingchens of the world than the cruel and bitter Xue Yangs.
Oh fuck no
No, this will break him, won't it? 😰
Oh no 😭😭😭😭
Oh no
Honey...
"Say something..."
Oh god
Does this show want to set some kind of record for must characters severely traumatised in 50 episodes???
Noooo
No
Fuck
When I wrote that I hadn't seen yet ...
He ... killed himself
I am crying so hard right now and I feel like I haven't even really processed the full tragedy of this arc yet
What is Xue Yang doing?
This is so weird. He honestly looks at Xiao Xingchen like he is a doting husband waiting for him to come home
Ohhh
And now it makes sense that he wanted wwx to restore his soul
And why his soul didn't want to be restored ... because he killed himself. He doesn't want to come back 😥
The way this looks ... that can't be an accident
So NOW he's grieving. Because he can't bring Xiao Xingchen back, can't control him. Xue Yang has such a screwed psychy, it's fascinating ... in a very disturbing way
Wow, he's damaged ...
Oh no ... the candy ... THE CANDY!!!
Holy shit ... what even am I supposed to feel right now? 😨😨😨
Trying to parse that out, I feel like (and this is just my first impressionof thus and my very raw thoughts)... Xiao Xingchen and his kindness they did touch Xue Yang. But he was ill-equipped to deal with whatever feelings they stirred in him, because he had already been so twisted by the world and his own actions. And so he expressed his love the same way he expressed everything: with obsession and the desire to posses and control.
Honestly, I need some more time to really process this ...
They buried A Qing 😭
Oh, Lan Jingyi. I didn't know you had it in you 💚💚💚
Oh god, the Juniors are ALL so soft! 😭
Oh god I want to know so badly. What did Lan Wangji want to say??? "Fortunately... this wasn't us" "Fortunately... you came back to me"? 😭
Omg ... this is a parallel right? From behind they might as well be song lan and Xiao Xingchen!
Oh song lan 💔
The way he takes the pouch 🥺
And Lan Wangji's look. Maybe I'm imagining too much into this but ... if that's not a man intimately aware of what he's going through
"Roam the world. Exorcise evil beings alongside Xingchen."
I can't guys, I'm crying so hard right now 💔💔💔
Holy shit Lan Wangji's actor's performance as he hands him the sword 😭😭😭
IT IS A PARALLEL! 😭😭
look at the screenshot up there again!!
I'm ugly crying so hard right now 😭😭😭
Gimme a moment ...
Tge music in the next scene is really unusual for this show, almost jarring after I've just bawled my eyes out
What is that?
An entrance?
Okay no, not an entrance
Who is that????
Aardgfdgh
The Juniors!!!
The scenery us so pretty :)
Waitwaitwait ... I have a suspicion... no ... nooooo? It can't be ...
The butterfly toy ...
And the comments in the last episode fit, too ... 😳😳😳
OH MY GOOOOOOOD!!!!
The shot of the little flying thing! That's in that restaurant, right??
The comment about remembering stuff from when you're three!
IS HE A YUAN????
@sweetlittlevampire IS HE A YUAN??? 😱😱😱
I'm crying again you guys
Of course he is! It all makes sense
And omg, lan Wangji with the bunny lantern 😭😭😭
And now wwx remembers A Yuan and... the LOOK!!! The song!!! The bunnies!!!
The smile 😭😭😭😭
"Let's buy it" "Okay"
They're a family, you guys!!!! They're a family and I'm ... so ... so emotional!!! 😭😭😭
So much softness between them!!! 💙🖤💙🖤
And wwx smiles as brightly as before this whole mess and ...
Holy shit this episode you guys!!!
First I cry out of sheer devastation and now I feel like my heart is ready to burst!
And it FITS!!!
wangxian got the happy ending Xiao Xingchen and song lan never did. They reunited and even though they spent many years apart they have a real chance now!!!
And this, their child, this is the pay off.
I'm listening to the new album by Nightwish (my favourite band) all the time right now and in their song "How's the heart?" Is this line "now there's one who came from me / A child of light, another tale" and I can't help but think of that right now! The whole song is about how it is worth it, going through the bleak times, fighting through your own darkness because there is light and love at the end of it. It's worth it to keep fighting, just so we can keep meeting others with love. And I can't help but think of little A Yuan/ Lan Sizuhi (and god, I'm almost bursting at the fact that I can write that line!!) As their manifestation of that love. Their "child of light" :')
And even with Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan ... there is this slight hopeful feeling of "we will meet again", if not in this life than in the next ...
Guys, I'm so emotional right now
Sorry for the tengant. It probably doesnt make much sense put in writing 💚
I'm so sad and so happy at the same time ... :')
Oh god, lan Wangji with the lantern is so unimaginably cute!!!
And they gave it to Lan Sizhui!!!
SYMBOLISM!! 😭😭😭
Now, this should be interesting
How much does lan Xichen even know at this point?
Ohhh! That was nie Mingjue in the coffin earlier!
Why is he buried in Yi City???
I'm so confused right now!
(But don't tell me the answers. As always, these are rhetorical questions ;))
Ohhh ...
I have a suspicion about the ghost faced man
And apparently I'm not the only one
He has been "discussing" things with you every single night. Aha 😏
Sorry, this is serious 😬
(This has nothing to do with anything but I paused the stream to type and this was the image I got. I thought i should share :D)
Lan Xichen is so deep in denial
Poor guy
And again with the parallels! There is another Lan who has stuck to someone with a bad reputation and he's standing right there
And jin ling is conveniently reminding us of that 😐
So much drama
OMG!
That was smooth!
No, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
Just, "Wei-gongze" :D
"Don't take it to heart"
MY HEART!!!
I feel like Lan Wangji isn't the only Lan who will suffer an aneurysm from repressed emotions one day
@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose and @sxnshot (should I tag you again next ep? No hard feelings if not 😊)
Honestly, this ep was the most emotional one for me so far in terms of the whiplash from pain and joy it gave me, though I certainly cried harder at the Yunmeng massacre. The prevailing emotion is joy now, though. I am such a sucker for mismatched, found families and wangxian and their child of light isn't exactly that, I don't know what is. I'm going to sleep with a smile on my face now. 💚
#sophie watches the untamed#the untamed#wei wuxian#lan wangji#xiao xingchen#song lan#wangxian#xue yang#lan sizhui#lan xichen#jin ling#lan jingyi#a qing
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MY THOUGHTS ON TUA SEASON TWO: PART ONE (spoilers)
So...I finished season two. And I’ve got a lot of thoughts.
I’m putting ALL my thoughts under the tab so please, don’t click unless you’ve seen it all, and/or you just....like don’t care about spoilers? But please if you’ve not watched it, watch it first ‘cause it deserves all the hype and attention.
(if you haven’t watched yet, go into your settings and blacklist the tag ‘tua spoilers’ because that’ll help you avoid anything if you don’t want to be spoiled, at least on here)
Also, this is part one to my thoughts, because it’d be much too long to list it all here! Part two will be linked below this :)
This is going to be SO badly organized, but I’m gonna do my best to make it otherwise! I’m separating it all under sub-headers, just so you don’t have to read through ALL my thoughts on the series (but there’s a lot, sorry).
I legit just watched it all last night, so it’s fresh but also still jumbled and messy. So bear with me.
Also, let me know what you thought, I’m eager to hear others’ opinions of this show!
AS A WHOLE...
So, so, SO damn good. I was scared, and worried and I thought there was gonna be a lot more pain...but it was so good. Arguably better than the first season, I think because the characters are fleshed out and have developed more, and I felt myself caring more for their wellbeings (even though I would have already died for most of them).
Honestly, no. This season WAs better than the first and I’m gonna stick with that.
I also really loved the colour scheme of it all?? I think they did that really well the first season too, but the colour choices and how they alternated between blue and orange, it keeps your attention and adds a vibrance to the characters that was there before but not so loudly.
I want to watch it again and admire how they shot/edited it too, because I actually really was impressed with the shots too (normally Netflix shows aren’t super cinematography-heavy, don’t know if that’s how to say that, but TUA really came through and I’m impressed). I don’t want to drone on about that because i know most don’t care about that as much, so I’ll leave it at just...I was impressed, and most happy with the overall presentation of the show.
LUTHER HARGREEVES...
The way i actually now love him??
I mean I felt bad for him in S1, but here he’s an actual character and I cared about HIM, rather than what he had gone through. From the moment he said ‘I don’t give a shit’ in episode one, I liked him again and I’m SO glad.
I didn’t really love how he still pushed for him and Allison...I mean, I understand that you can’t just erase the feelings, they still stand, but I would have liked a little bit less of it. It’s just awkward to watch and to contrast with Klaus literally calling them out, I appreciate that it wasn’t so prevalent but it was still there.
But overall!! He became a character I actually really liked, he was actually funny too?? Dorky too, and also just more sure of who he was as a person rather than the number...Luther rights.
DIEGO HARGREEVES...
One word: BIIIITCH.
He was one of my favourites from the show pre-S2, and now I can say he might just be my favourite. I would fight fire for that man.
I didn’t think he’d be almost the main character of this show (obviously one of them, because they’re all main characters ig) but I liked it a lot! We really got nothing about who he is as a person in Season One, and though a lot of people were able to fill in the emotional blanks, there was a lot more given to his character and who he is beneath the hard-headed vigilante.
I think David Casteneda did a brilliant job on his character, and had one of the best performances out of all of them. I knew he was good, but I truly was shocked at how good he did as Diego, and I’m happy to see him as an actor thrive and get more credit. He deserves it, and I’m quite happy.
Surprisingly, he was the character to make me cry (I cried at Ben too, don’t worry, but!). When Reginald said that shit to him, I was in fucking pain. I won’t get too deep into it, but just the way his face dropped, and then the stutter - it struck a cord and I cried more at that then I did the rest of the show. Dunno. Maybe that’s just me.
But just like...I wish he had more support...everyone just kept calling him dumb and mocking him and I KNOW his obsession with JFK was dumb and aligned with the Luther moon thing and he didn’t have the greatest plans and I’m not saying all of his actions were right, but he was fucking TRYING. And some of it, they played it off for comedic effect but they were literally just trashing on him for doing the right thing and making him look stupid...it made me a little sad.
I am glad, however, at how he rekindled with all his siblings. Because arguably, Diego was an asshole to all of them and though again, arguably they all were and none of them are doing well and there are reasons - they were all assholes to each other, and especially him to them, especially Vanya when she really didn’t deserve it. And to see them at least begin to mend their relationship made me so happy. The way that in the end, they sat together?? And how he accepted her apology just like that?? I sob.
The scene where diego just says ‘there’s this girl I like - I CRACKED UP AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY IT’S SO FUNNY BUT JFC THAT WAS SO FUNNY. That and threatening Olga - top tier funniest moments of the season for me. They really amped up the comedy this season and I’m happy.
One thing I didn’t get was in the last episode, when he bent the bullets’ trajectory for Five...did he know he could do that? Like I understand that he could do it, but we never saw him do anything else around those lines, aside from in the doomsday season ep1, but that was an alternate history so...I’m guessing Reginald taught him, but??? It was kinda random and I would have liked if they hinted at it at least once before.
To summarize, I love him. I love how far he’s come and I hope he just finds some happiness because he keeps getting the short end of the stick. He deserves the world.
(also, diego hargreeves a huge ass nerd. y’all can’t convince me otherwise. big dork energy)
LILA PITTS/DIEGO & LILA:
You know what? I loved her.
I didn’t like her character as much post maybe episode 6/7, basically once she brought Diego in I was disappointed but I liked her character. I think she was cool and different and chaotic and though I was disappointed that towards the end, she felt a bit thrown in, I still appreciated who she was. I was honestly hoping that she would have left the Handler a lot sooner, I thought they were gonna make her realise the truth a lot sooner but at the same time...this is her maternal figure, she’s been basically brainwashed into that support and there’s gonna be an element of love regardless.
I knew she was gonna be one of the 43 though, the second I saw 1993 I called it and I was happy I was actually right on something. Idk her powers, that too seems a lil bit messy but still, I thought it was neat. I just want to see more! And I think we will, hence why I’m trying not to judge her much, but i hope that we get to know more about her. I don’t want a half-baked love interest, and I was hoping that there was going to be a little bit more this season - but we shall see.
(ritu arya, though, is quite good in her role. and stunning. i quite love her)
I also didn’t HATE the relationship between her and Diego. I know it’s a divided topic but I liked it, I thought they were fucking cute and even though i KNEW there was something off about her, I was just HOPING that it’d be different. I mean, that scene on the bed with them???? I think my heart gave out. Palpitations, bitch. I was so fucking soft for them and even when she was exposed....I stillllllllll wanted the best. :(
And then like shit happened and then it got a little messy (y’all should learn how to communicate...throwing out boyfriend and ex-girlfriend terms like that???) and like yada yada, I was okay but I don’t necessarily like the ‘I love him/her’ thing. I mean sure you can, but THAT felt a little quick. I don’t know why tv shows just LOVE to throw out the I love you’s that FAST, but I’m not into it.
TL;DR - I still REALLY like Lila Pitts, and I still like them together, somewhat (though like maybe slow your asses down folks).
(question though...are we supposed to think of them as siblings now?? bc...idk I don’t see it like luther/allison because they weren’t raised together and really didn’t associate like that?? but are they all reginald’s alien children cause in THAT case wtf am I suppose to think help-)
PART TWO TO MY THOUGHTS: here.
#tua#tua spoilers#the umbrella academy#diego hargreeves#luther hargreeves#vanya hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#ben hargreeves#five hargreeves#lila pitts#DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED SEASON TWO#umbrella academy spoilers#tua s2 spoilers#tua season two
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IwaOi Master Fic Rec List (50+ Fics)
Hello! In celebration accumulating over 190+ bookmarks on my AO3 account featuring IwaOi and Iwaizumi coming back into the manga (and for his (almost) birthday), I decided to create a masterlist of all of my favorite fanfictions in order to keep myself organized as well as contributing to more traffic on those works! I decided to split the works up by my own self-imposed genres, such as angst, coming-of-age (or the childhood-friends-to-lovers trope that we all love which depicts how their relationship changes as they grow up and will mostly be canon-compliant), and alternate universe. With the revival of Iwaizumi in the manga, alternate universes will be broken down into adulting AU where he and Oikawa’s diverge differs from in canon and actual, legit AU where there’s basically no volleyball.
I’ll include the title, link, word count, fic summary, and my own commentary (mostly for my own personal entertainment). While the AO3 fandom has been going strong since 2014, I personally have only been reading IwaOi fics for about 3 months, so I will most likely be recommending some cult-favorites, especially since I’ve been reading my fics by sorting through the tag with the most kudos.
My absolute favorites (or the ones where I personally push onto my IRL haikyuu friends) will be denoted with ♡ in increments of 1-3 with 3 ♡ being an absolute must-read. Fics marked with a * indicate that Iwaizumi or Oikawa or both are professional athletes because that’s honestly my Favorite Trope. This is incomplete as I got distracted while re-reading a lot of these and have only gone through half of my bookmarks, but feel free to check my own page here for the rest of them! This took me about 9 days to compile (aka this was in my drafts for about 9 days) but I do hope you guys enjoy reading these and leave comments and kudos!
Adulting AU
*♡♡Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad)
Word count: 19k
Summary: It’s July 10th, 2024, and Oikawa Tooru is an Olympian. His smiling face airs on an NHK promo every 45 seconds. He’s captain of the national men’s volleyball team, reigning star of the professional leagues, and he hasn't spoken to Iwaizumi Hajime in two years.
Thoughts: THIS IS IT. THIS FIC IS GOD TIER. They’ve been separated but now are falling back into old habits and there’s a confession on the line? Akaashi is in here and he’s pretty funny. I reread this all the time.
*♡♡♡the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle
Word count: 66k
Summary: Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right.
Thoughts: Absolutely the best IwaOi fic I’ve ever read. I’ve reread this about 4x and I always pay attention to a new sentence or detail that leaves me breathless. The characterization is pretty spot on, and I have to admit that this fic made me appreciate IwaOi a little more. I’ve cried countless times too. A cult-favorite but it doesn’t have nearly as many hits as it deserves.
♡days fall away
Word count: 17k
Summary: Except now he’s back home, so close to his old haunts and to Oikawa himself, and it's—weird.
Thoughts: They’ve separated for a bit but now they’re back in the same city and learning to be around each other again. Cue teasing from the biological and Seijoh family
it's been so long (nobody knows me the way you do)
Word count: 8k
Summary: Tooru hums, only half-listening. Somewhere along the way, Hajime’s palm has settled itself over the curve of Tooru’s cheek, thumb tracing over the line of his jaw.
Thoughts: They’re living together post-college feat. snapshots from their lives before getting together and their Seijoh team! It’s really soft but it manages a humorous tone as well.
Time
Word count: 5k
Summary: When they're twenty-three, their story only begins.
Thoughts: A piecewise fic told from Oikawa’s point of view. The tone is almost chatty but it really fits the pacing of the work as you get snippets and sentences of their relationship throughout the years
♡Almost a Stranger
Word count: 16k
Summary: Iwa-chan's leaving Japan. Tooru's not sure he can forgive him, but he's not going to admit his long-held feelings, either. A trip to Miyajima complicates everything.
Thoughts: They go on vacation right before Iwaizumi leaves Oikawa for a year. Oikawa ponders their relationship.
where fireflies never die
Word count: 4k
Summary: >>Oikawa: Hey Iwa-chan
>>Oikawa: Did I ruin it?
Thoughts: Oikawa is a mangaka and basically writes his best selling series based off of him and Iwaizumi. This was pretty angsty ngl with a lot of introspection and second-guessing.
In the Business of Love
Word count: 22k
Summary: Meet Oikawa Tooru: He's a best-selling shoujo manga artist, a hardcore romantic and you won't believe where he's getting his lovey dovey fodder from...Enter Iwaizumi Hajime: He's Oikawa's best friend, a realist who also happens to be a wedding magazine writer despite not believing in romance...
Thoughts: Mangaka Oikawa but this is basically a rom-com lmao
Alternate Universe
Even Heroes (have the right to dream)
Word count: 20k
Summary: Oikawa Tooru, ace reporter of the superhero beat of Asahi Shimbun, hates superheroes. Or maybe he just hasn’t met the knight one yet.
Thoughts: Superhero-hiding-his-identity-Iwaizumi and begrudging Oikawa? Sign me up. This fic spent a little more time on worldbuilding than eventual romance, but it is still absolutely unique and entertaining
The secret omega
Word count: 17k
Summary: Iwaizumi’s annoying as fuck best friend. Who absolutely, definitely, no matter what, cannot find out that Iwaizumi is an omega.
Thoughts: A/B/O dynamics where Iwa is the omega and Oikawa is the alpha. 90% plot building which is pretty nice.
Conquering the Great King
Word count: 105k
Summary: Oikawa's lips twitched into a smirk and he brought them hovering just over Iwaizumi's, "One time thing, Two time thing, what's it matter as long as it's not a Relationship thing?"
Thoughts: Malicious and flirtatious Oikawa meet immovable object Iwaizumi. They’re businessmen trying to navigate friends-with-benefits and love all at the same time. A+ sex scenes tbh.
♡Infinite Risks
Word count: 8k
Summary: “It’s my fate,” Oikawa responds slowly. He’s crying.“It’s too lonely,” Iwaizumi’s heart sounded broken. “And I’m not there with you. Not really.”
Thoughts: Edge of Tomorrow AU!!!!! Please watch Edge of Tomorrow first because it’s truly a brilliant movie that I wholly enjoyed and this fic reflects that. This also made me really sad so Beware
*♡Something Like Us
Word count: 28k
Summary: Friends since childhood, Oikawa and Iwaizumi now live together, both playing for the National Team. It's no secret that athletes who are bonded perform better. So if the two of them happen to bond...It'd be for the good of the team, right?
Thoughts: ABO dynamics (and somewhat canon-compliant) as they’re roommates, on the national team, and try to navigate being “fake” mated while harboring feelings
And All the Prince’s Men
Word count: 65k
Summary: “Father only loves that which he owns, and I am the one thing that can never truly be his.”
Thoughts: Royal bastard son Oikawa and his servant Iwaizumi. An enthralling read and universe. The romance takes a secondary seat here as it focuses more on plot and world-building.
♡long nights, no peace
Word count: 18k
Summary: It's the steady knowledge that Iwaizumi Hajime will always be someone that he can rely on, that no matter what the world throws at the two of them, they share in a piece of each other's soul.
Thoughts: Pacific Rim! AU. Otherwise known as my favorite types of AUs because they’re basically soulmates (platonic or not,, but they’re not platonic here)
♡(sing with me) A Song of Conquest and Fate
Word count: 26k
Summary: When Seijou receives a missive from Aobajousai to discuss a potential peace, its emperor Oikawa Tooru could not have foreseen the series of events that would follow.
Thoughts: Warring states/historical fantasy AU. The world building is amazing and this author has great control over her language use
Cotton Breathing
Word count: 13k
Summary:
Thoughts: Long-distance and summer only but childhood friends Iwaoi!!! A dreamy summer piece and reading it almost makes me feel like I’m in a Studio Ghibli movie because of the mood it puts me in
Similar Creatures
Word count: 53k
Summary: "What's your name?"
"Whatever you want it to be."(Or, Oikawa gets directions from an attractive stranger on a street corner.)
Thoughts: Iwaizumi is an escort and Oikawa needs a fancy date
Space
Word count: 44k
Summary: Tries not to think of his rooftop garden, or the apartment he used to inhabit, or Hajime’s broken expression on the night they whispered their goodbyes before Tooru’s launch, attempting to push it all to the back of his mind behind visions of this alien world terraformed
Thoughts: Oikawa’s in outerspace. They’re separated. This left me feeling pretty empty ngl.
♡here comes your man
Word count: 8k
Summary: Iwa-chan, it reads, Have a good day today! Good luck! <3 <3 <3Suga chokes. It’s hard to imagine anyone calling the scowling and fierce Doctor Iwaizumi “Iwa-chan.” But marriage probably comes with all sorts of liberties.
Thoughts: Doctor AU where Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s relationship is pondered by Suga
In the Telling
Word count: 6k
Summary: Muggleborn Iwaizumi could not be less impressed with pureblood Oikawa Tooru.
Thoughts: Harry Potter AU where they’re in the same year and aren’t really friends but are also friends
♡♡The Loyalty of A Traitor
Word count: 76k
Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime was an undercover officer with a single objective: Infiltrate the Seijoh Syndicate of the Yakuza and tear them down from the inside out. His primary target was the boss, Oikawa Tooru. The job itself was simple enough, until Iwaizumi got in too deep and absconded not only from the mission, but from the city itself.
Thoughts: Oh fuck this was Good. Yakuza boss Oikawa???? Disgraced Iwaizumi??? Do they fall in love (again)?
and suddenly, we were traitors
Word count: 17k
Summary: "sorry, it's just... you’ve been amazingly kind to me these past few days. ...but i'm still not sure who you are.”
Thoughts: The amnesia fic this fandom needed
Trial by Fire
Word count: 78k
Summary: (lawyer!AU - in which Iwaizumi loves his objections, Oikawa is beautiful, and they have more chemistry than two opposing attorneys probably should.)
Thoughts: Hot
dear diary, i met a boy
Word count: 15k
Summary: Iwaizumi's first impression of his upstairs neighbor involves getting woken up at two in the morning to the sound of Oikawa singing along to trashy pop music. He'd thought it would get better, but it all just goes downhill from there.
Thoughts: Model Oikawa and salaryman Iwaizumi meet and try to make it work
on shipwreck shore
Word count: 8k
Summary: “I’m going to murder you in cold blood and feed you to the basilisks,” Iwaizumi says conversationally.“You can’t do that, I’m your boss,” Oikawa sings, positively sparkling. “Also we’re partners, which means,” he points at Iwaizumi and leans in, “you’re stuck with me.”
Thoughts: Detectives but they’re actually funny
♡Lockdown
Word count: 72k
Summary: Within the first few months of his stay, Oikawa gets caught up in a war between cellblocks, becomes a prime target, and must decide just how far he's willing to go to protect Iwaizumi Hajime.
Thoughts: Orange is the New Black AU!!! Im a sl*t for tatted Iwaizumi
an allegory of all the things we could’ve been
Word count: 16k
Summary: “I don’t know anything about some red string,” Iwaizumi murmurs into the cracks of Oikawa’s skin, “or even about lifetimes or fate. But no matter where you are, I’ll find you. Gods or otherwise.”
Thoughts: Reincarnation AU throughout the timelines. A good soft read that leaves you sort of empty
Angst
Timeless (We Have 30 Days)
Word count: 12k
Summary: Or AU where you're branded 50 days before you die. But Oikawa doesn't tell anyone so now there's only 30 days left.
Thoughts: Ahhhhhhhhh tears
the weight of water
Word count: 6k
Summary: “Again,” he says, the smallest tremor in his voice, and Oikawa blinks at him a moment before smiling, soft and sweet.
“Iwa-chan,” he replies, and Iwaizumi closes his eyes.
“Again.”
“Iwa-chan.”
Thoughts: Death fic
open when
Word count: 1k
Summary: Iwaizumi knew it was coming, but it still hurt. It still hurt when he opens one letter and drowns it in the tears he cannot keep at bay.
Thoughts: It takes only 1.6k words to make me cry
Canon Compliant/Coming-Of-Age
♡♡i sing the body electric
Word count: 8k
Summary: It was never part of the plan, falling in love with his best friend, but then again, most things in Iwaizumi’s life that involve Oikawa rarely unfold the way he thinks they will.
Thoughts: A beautifully introspective piece told from Iwaizumi’s point of view. It’s wholly intimate and it toes along the lines of pining and soft angst. It’s told in snippets from their lives growing up together.
♡we can do better than that
Word count: 16k
Summary: Oikawa and Iwaizumi go on a road trip during the summer after their high school graduation. It doesn't go as expected, but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.
Thoughts: There’s a lot of character analysis and it takes a step away from the casual banter they’re always portrayed to have and focuses on the intricacies of their relationship. The tone is almost a little more melancholy. (also they have to share a bed! trope)
♡when it starts to rain, they go inside
Word count: 33k
Summary: “Where?” starts Iwaizumi.“My parent’s old lakehouse, silly, didn’t you hear me the first time?”OR: Oikawa takes Iwaizumi to his lakehouse for two weeks, post-graduation.
Thoughts: Oh This Is It IwaOi stans. This fic really solidified my own headcanon for Oikawa (spoiler alert, OP isn’t too fond of Oikawa but she fleshes out his character and his idiosyncrasies so well that you can’t help but be drawn into all of his imperfection) and this fic respects Iwaizumi as well. It has absolutely great characterization and the fic ends on an ambiguous note.
to be first, to be best
Word count: 26k
Summary: Hajime is apparently something of a masochist, and as he stares down at the tie-dyed AREA51 T-shirt in his hands, he thinks “I’m totally in love with this asshole, aren't I?”
Thoughts: College roommates trying to navigate having feelings for each other while also dating others and not realizing that they’re jealous? A cult favorite.
♡things that change, things that stay the same
Word count: 8k
Summary: Oikawa realizes he's in love with his best friend; it sucks for a while. (But only a while.)
Thoughts: Ahh a slow burn featuring daily moments between Oikawa and Iwaizumi, and Oikawa starts to notice the little things. This was a cute read because Oikawa just comes off as wonderfully earnest. My first Iwaoi fic! And a great one because it really set the standard to how I interpreted their relationship.
it’s better than words
Word count: 3k
Summary: [ or : oikawa makes iwaizumi participate in three bonding activities for new friends, and iwaizumi just wants to know why oikawa's being so weird about this]
Thoughts: Soft pining, fluff, banter, and whispered confessions. This fic really nailed the banter of high school students really well.
♡shiver
Word count: 16k
Summary: Oikawa was always the brave one. Hajime just followed two paces behind.
Thoughts: Oikawa falls first and but Iwaizumi realizes his feelings later on! So soft, so slow burn, so much pining. We get to see their relationship through Iwaizumi’s eyes and actually read him analyze his own feelings.
♡we shine like diamonds
Word count: 26k
Summary: "You know Abe-kun from class?" they snicker, hands cupped around their mouths like they're passing along a filthy secret. "I hear his older brother is... gay."
Thoughts: Character analysis, homophobia, and coming of age makes a good and angsty iwaoi fic
terrarium
Word count: 11k
Summary: At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?
Thoughts: Oikawa has a terrarium and names all of the rocks he puts in (that Iwaizumi gave him) “Iwa-chan #_”
Chasing Paper Suns
Word count: 10k
Summary: Post-high school, Oikawa makes it to the national volleyball team but Iwaizumi doesn't. The next three years become an exercise in growing up without growing apart.
Thoughts: This was pretty sad tbh. Of what it means to grow up together and then suddenly having to adjust to living without each other’s presence.
with every second that you could give
Word count: 9k
Summary: The journey of Iwaizumi and Oikawa going for gold.
Thoughts: Of growing up together, making decisions for each other, and wanting to be together
Only the jellyfish know
Word count: 6k
Summary: Their third and final year at Aoba Jousai has come to an end, and the guys decide to go to the beach the day after graduation.That day, the ocean water is salty, the watermelon is sweet, and the people are sweeter.
Thoughts: Established relationship
Smut
strange.
Word count: 1k
Summary: "god, i fucking hate you."oikawa smiles, cause he knows it's not true. he knows iwaizumi loves him, knows iwaizumi adores him. but he plays along."i hate you too,"
Thoughts: It’s hot
Say My Name
Word count: 2k
Summary: “Hey, have you ever tried saying my first name?” Iwaizumi blurts, and the thought jumps out of his subconscious only after he's posed the question.
Thoughts:
No Touching Allowed
Word count: 10k
Summary: “You’ve got one rule,” Iwaizumi winks at him.
Thoughts: ExoticDancer!Iwaizumi and stressed out/repressed businessman Oikawa also an AU.
Honorable Mentions
things wikipedia doesn’t tell you
pillow
Phone Home
Share my life, it’s yours to keep
in progress to you
no sleep in the city
The PDA jar
Kissmarked
#iwaoi#oikawa tooru#oikawa#iwaizumi#iwaizumi hajime#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#hq!!#hq fic rec#haikyuu fic#haikyuu fanfiction#id ask that u guys pls reblog if u can so more people can enjoy :') rly there are some Underrated works#and im surprised bc it looks like iwaoi is the most popular pairing in hq rn with the most fics#and there are iwaoi fics being uploaded like everyday#some of my favs were published in 2020 too
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I slightly rewrote my tombstone essay. I’m crazy.
I did not obsess over and enjoy a western cowboy movie that fucking much???? But I did??? I don’t even know where to start. I’m not sure if the acting from Wyatt Earp’s actor was good or bad. I genuinely can’t tell. It was kinda off putting & uncomfortable at times. But I thought that Val Kilmer fucking carried that movie because he so beyond talented oh my god. He is so good in these kinds of roles (Jim Morrison) I swear I literally got goosebumps so so many times. I think he is an incredibly underrated actor & that movie is an exact example of why. Jesus fuck he was incredible it felt so real. It was one of the best performances I’ve seen on that type of role from anyone I can’t. The acting overall was for the most part down right magnificent.
The absolute heart wrenching showing of tuberculosis too omg. And in lines as small as ‘forgive me if I don’t shake hands’ to his beautifully the makeup department & Val did with showing how physical the disease was. I’m not sure what else to complement besides the fact that ‘the dying man’ is such a common character but I don’t think you can really do much better at all in this case. Top marks.
& the way it was filmed & the shots were so beautiful. It was so timely & cinematic oh my god I can’t describe it. They used close up shots & far away shots both so beautifully & in such a meaningful way. Especially the scenes where everything was so briefly shown just through eye contact.
Jesus even Johnny Ringo’s character was absolutely perfect. I don’t remember the actors name off the top of my head but he is absolutely brilliant as well as the rest of the cast. Even Russell, in some parts, who practically directed the entire thing. Even Ike was a fantastic character I’m sorry but I can’t lie.
I could talk about the scene where Johnny Ringo & Doc Holliday first met forever I think. Not only did they put probably two of the best actors in the movie the same room together. But it’s probably one of the most well known scenes too. Just the belligerence & the absolute wit between the both of them, especially Holliday, is mesmerizing. I love the way he turns to his girlfriend & talks to himself over whether he should hate him or not. & he ends up deciding to hate him because he reminds him of himself. Which is again brought up so fucking incredibly later on in the movie. I think it’s amazing they didn’t let that aspect of their characters fall though. I think that scene is just magnificent. The way Doc is so sly & coy with a simple shot glass. Just the way their own shots are mocking themselves as well as the characters in a way is just. God. It’s unmatched. & the way they bring back the ‘he’s drunk’ later in the movie too as such a juxtaposition is just. Shit man. It’s beyond brilliant.
The scene where they all were at a draw & then Doc just winks. & you can see the other actors face go from fear to anger. & then wyatt realizes. Good it’s just a greatly filmed & directed scene everything about it is perfect from the reactions to the shots.
It’s even possibly a love story between Earp & Holliday. I said it. From the very very beginning when they first see each other again I could tell that Holliday was pining, in one way or another. & Wyatt was too except he didn’t know it. It was in the ways he cared for his well being & if he needed anything. They both just supported each other & were such good friends throughout it all even in the small things. But the big gestures is where it gets me.
The first being the multiple times Holliday stood up & actually took a deadly fight for Earp. All whole literally dying himself. He was literally willing to do fucking anything for him. & the second being the scene where he is saying goodbye oh my god. & Earp gives him the fucking book ‘my friend Doc Holliday’ speaks volumes on its own. That’s when I started crying. Cause it was Doc saying that if Wyatt really loved him he would have to let him go & be happy. & then he died clutching the little book his best friend gave him. I cried. & of course Wyatt had to fulfill his best friends last wish too but I don’t think I’ll get into that.
There was even a deleted scene between Doc & his girl where she is asking him why he is leaving again. & she is like ‘it’s Wyatt, isn’t it? It’s always Wyatt’ or something to that effect. & dear god I wish that scene was included because it only further shows how close they were. Both did & his girl also went to the lengths of pushing at the fact that he could & wouldn’t mind dying from him. I just think that’s interesting. He literally would do anything for his friend & his girl knows it (as she called herself.)
But what strikes me most is both times Wyatt was walking away from Doc, thinking he would never see him again, he gives him something. Like pretty important too. Idk it really got me in my feels & I’m kind of glad it was so subtextual as well as implied through the clearly more than friendly gestures. I don’t think they could have portrayed the fact that they were & the fact that they stayed by each other. The. Whole. Time. Through literally everything. I can’t describe it. They deserved better but at the same time it was so perfectly heartbreaking.
The first being the multiple times Holliday stood up & actually took a deadly fight for Earp. All whole literally dying himself. He was literally willing to do fucking anything for him. & the second being the scene where he is saying goodbye oh my god. & Earp gives him the fucking book ‘my friend Doc Holliday’ speaks volumes on its own. That’s when I started crying. Cause it was Doc saying that if Wyatt really loved him he would have to let him go & be happy. & then he died clutching the little book his best friend gave him. I cried. & of course Wyatt had to fulfill his best friends last wish too but I don’t think I’ll get into that.
There was even a deleted scene between Doc & his girl where she is asking him why he is leaving again. & she is like ‘it’s Wyatt, isn’t it? It’s always Wyatt’ or something to that effect. & dear god I wish that scene was included because it only further shows how close they were. Both did & his girl also went to the lengths of pushing at the fact that he could & wouldn’t mind dying from him. I just think that’s interesting. He literally would do anything for his friend & his girl knows it (as she called herself.)
But what strikes me most is both times Wyatt was walking away from Doc, thinking he would never see him again, he gives him something. Like pretty important too. Idk it really got me in my feels & I’m kind of glad it was so subtextual as well as implied through the clearly more than friendly gestures. I don’t think they could have portrayed the fact that they were & the fact that they stayed by each other. The. Whole. Time. Through literally everything. I can’t describe it. They deserved better but at the same time it was so perfectly heartbreaking.
The way he looked down at his feet at the end & laughs right before he died breaks my fucking heart. Because he thought he would be dying down the road or honestly anywhere else. With his boots on. With his friends. I can’t it just kills me. It’s such a small & missable detail but holy shit if you notice it it hurts like a bitch.
I can’t describe it. It just adds onto his self hatred so much because several time he went dangerously close to seeing himself as Johnny. Like the Latin scene & the scene in the bed where they discuss how Johnny ended up the way he was, and Doc was able to almost sympathize with him. Because in a way he is him. Like “The last charge of wyatt Earp and his inmortales” It’s so sad because he knows he is literally in the process of freaking dying that’s why he says it like the snarky sarcastic bastard he is.
Doc calling Wyatt self deluding but still the only man that ever gave him hope hits so hard. Again. Because it just shows how fucking lonely he was and how reliant he was on his best friend even in his death bed.
“There’s no normal life. Wyatt. Theres just life. Now get on with it.” “Don’t know how.” “Sure you do. Say goodbye to me.” “Live Wyatt. Live for me. Wyatt if you were ever my friend. If you ever had the slightest feelin for me. Leave now. Please.” God then the single fucking tear that slides down his face as he watches Wyatt walk away for the last time. It hurt so much.
Umm anyways. I’m obsessed with this movie now & I think I’m going a tad insane.
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Fearless (Taylor's Version) Review
Never did I think that I would have the chance to listen to one of the most formative albums of my childhood for the first time, twice. Never did I imagine myself filled with so much undiluted joy when Fearless (Taylor’s Version) was announced. One thing I have learned in the past 13 years since I heard Love Story on the radio for the first time is to never underestimate Taylor Swift. Fearless is such a special album to me because it is how I discovered Taylor, and in turn made incredible friendships. It was such a nostalgic feeling, listening to Taylor’s Version.
I was 11 when the original album was released. I didn’t think to write down my opinions about art that impacted me, and ultimately shaped me, so this is going to be a very long post. That’s also why it took me a week to gather my thoughts coherently. Below the cut is a full 26 song track-by-track review of Fearless (Taylor’s Version), but the summary is: I love it more than I did in 2008 and I am so proud of Taylor for reclaiming her art. She has always been a game changer. I hope this makes everyone more aware.
My favourite tracks are the same as they have always been — Breathe, The Way I Loved You, You’re Not Sorry, Untouchable — but with the addition of the brilliant From The Vault tracks. Don’t You is my favourite.
Fearless — Immediately on the first listen, I could pick of the improvement on the audio quality. The production is cleaner in this streaming era of music. Fearless feels new right off the bat, but it sounds just about the same. Taylor’s vocal sits more comfortably in the song, indicative of her maturity as a singer. This rings true for all of the album but because this is the first track, I think it’s more palpable here.
Fifteen — To me, Taylor’s Version of Fifteen sounds so similar to the original. It’s remarkable how well she has replicated this track. Somehow this song feels more personal to her story than it has ever before. Hearing her 31-year-old self sing “in your life you’ll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team” actually gave me chills.
Love Story — When she released her new version of Love Story, the changes in her vocal were almost indiscernible if I hadn’t already been so intimately familiar with the original song. This was the first Taylor song I had ever heard and it will always have such a special place in my heart. Hearing her version of it, rededicated to her fans, was so heartwarming. It still hits almost 13 years later.
Hey Stephen — The vocal quality on Hey Stephen (Taylor’s Version) is far better than the original. Her voice sounds fuller, richer, throughout the song, and less pitchy. It makes the song even more pleasing to listen to. Strangely though, her vocal maturity doesn’t necessarily make her sound older on these songs. With a song like Hey Stephen, I think that youthfulness is essential and she managed to replicate that in her new performance.
White Horse — I know I said that Love Story introduced me to Taylor but White Horse was the song that made a fan of me. So when I say this song sounds better than before, I really mean it. The production is more refined. Her vocal is smoother and it sounds so similar to the original in the chorus but it’s in the verses that you can easily detect the differences. Unlike Hey Stephen, she does sound older on this track but it lends itself to that, the disillusionment of fairytales.
You Belong With Me — YBWM is another song that sounds so similar to the original that if I wasn’t so familiar with the song, I wouldn’t be able to describe the differences. It’s also one we’ve all heard her song so often live that it all melds into one. The productions sounds almost the exact same same. Also her country accent that’s somehow both there and not.
Breathe — Okay so time to get real here, I nearly cried by the time Breathe started playing. This has been one of my favourite songs of hers for over a decade. It made me so emotional to know that she is reclaiming it. I connect this version of this song to her experience with how things ended with BMR. The essence of this song is loss.
Tell Me Why — A lot of people talked about how much her vocals had improved on Tell Me Why and that the song sounds so much better now, but to me it’s probably one of the best replications on Taylor’s Version. It sounds the exact same as it did 13 years ago. That’s not to say her vocal hasn’t improved. She uses it very strategically. I think this song is underrated and being re-exposed to it in this new way made people appreciate it more.
You’re Not Sorry — Taylor’s vocal maturity hit me differently on this track. Her voice sounds chilling in the way she evokes the emotion of the song. Every note she hits is more balanced. You’re Not Sorry is probably the song I feel sounds the most different. This might just be because it’s one of my favourite songs that I can so easily pick it apart. Regardless, it is beautifully sung.
The Way I Loved You — I was probably the most excited to hear her remake The Way I Loved You, and boy did she improve on the quality of her vocal on this song. She sounds more effortless singing this song on Taylor’s Version. The production is also cleaner on this version. The instruments are more distinct. It’s subtle improvements that really take it up a notch, while remaining the same song I fell in love with.
Forever & Always — The new production on this song makes it soooo much better than the original. I won’t lie, Forever & Always has never really stood out to me that much. Taylor’s Version does. The guitar solo is less overpowering. Her high notes are more seamless. I like this version far more than the original.
The Best Day — I know this is a special song to Taylor and there is almost an extra softness to her voice singing it this time. I can hear her smiling when she sings “God smiles on my little brother”. There is so much warmth throughout.
Change — Tell me it’s not iconic that she used the lyric “it was the night things changed” to announce that Fearless (Taylor’s Version) had dropped when she wrote Change about being on an independent label. Power move!
Jump Then Fall — One of the most beautiful things about rediscovering an album is getting to look at it with a new perspective and gain a new appreciation of certain songs. That’s Jump Then Fall (Taylor’s Version) for me. I would say this is the biggest grower from 2009. I can’t quite discern what it is about Taylor’s Version that makes me enjoy this song more but I do. I guess it goes back to the subtle improvements she has sprinkled across the album.
Untouchable — I think any song in which Taylor has any high notes sounds better on Taylor’s Version but Untouchable really showcases it. Her vocal is so much smoother and airier, the transitions between notes so much smoother. It lends itself beautifully to the song.
Forever and Always (Piano Version) — Taylor emotes differently on this version to the original, which I think sounds sadder. Perhaps this is due to the fact that she’s trying to emulate the old version. What it all comes down to is that the song sounds the very similar to the original but feels different. Her vocal delivery and the piano accompaniment are still beautiful.
Come In With The Rain — The instrumentation on CIWTR (Taylor’s Version) is so crystal clear. That is a testament to new production. Taylor’s vocal projection is also much stronger. It makes the song feel grander than it did before.
Superstar — I think Superstar is another of those songs that she did an incredible job of reproducing. Her vocal sits comfortably in the song. This song makes me miss concerts so much in this pandemic world we’re all living in. I have always been very fond of this song.
The Other Side Of The Door — When I tell you all I wanted from Taylor’s Version of Fearless was to hear her sing the outro of The Other Side Of The Door with her 2021 vocals, it is no exaggeration. And Taylor did not disappoint. I fucking love this song. It is so full of energy and life.
Today Was A Fairytale — I was surprised to see this on the tracklist for Fearless (Taylor’s Version). I believe she will be remastering every song in her BMR catalogue. Her voice is fuller on the verses and the chorus sounds exactly as I remember it from years ago. Her vocal strength better complements the production and those heavy drums. She isn’t straining as much.
You All Over Me — I think this was the perfect song to introduce the Vault tracks with. It fits perfectly within where her music is now while maintaining the integrity of the original demo. I really like this song. Maren’s backing vocal sounds great on it. Also the lyric “no amount of freedom gets you clean”??? Need I say more?
Mr. Perfectly Fine — It’s the teen angst for me in this track. I love how petty this song is, truly. It’s so quintessentially Fearless, in its subtext but also in the genre. It has that melding of country and pop that she was beginning to explore at this stage.
We Were Happy — I was so excited when I figured out the words “we”, “were” and “happy” from that chaotic video Taylor posted. I have loved this song for actual years. It’s the exact sound for which I fell in love with Taylor’s music (see White Horse). The lyricism in this song follows that storytelling structure that I think she shines with. I honestly feel with the way that it was produced, it could’ve just as easily fit onto evermore.
That’s When — The first thing I noted when listening to this song was the change in perspective. I wonder why she did it, but I am absolutely not complaining. Keith Urban really made this song for me. I love how he sounds on it. His vocal complements Taylor’s so well. That’s When is very catchy.
Don’t You — I can’t decide what my favourite aspect of this song is. The songwriting, the vocals, the layering, the production. This is just *chef’s kiss*. I love how I can hear Jack Antonoff in the production, especially in those drums. I would say it’s the most pop-leaning song on Fearless (Taylor’s Version), but it doesn’t feel out of place. Don’t You encompasses all of my favourite aspects of Taylor’s music.
Bye Bye Baby — The original demo “The One Thing” has been one of my most played unreleased songs over the past decade. Bye Bye Baby feels so much like a brand new song, with all the changes she made, but still coated in the nostalgia of something so familiar. The production is more intricate, the lyric changes add more depth, the vocal inflections complement this new version. I feel like this song is so indicative to me of her growth as a songwriter and performer.
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Last Friday, I had the absolute joy and privilege to see Be More Chill in London!
(Yes, last Friday, this has been sitting in my drafts for over a week because I couldn’t figure out how to appropriately convey my delight with this show, and also yes, joy and privilege, call me dramatic but I swear to god nothing on this Earth makes me appreciate my life quite as live theatre.)
I have loved this show for a very long time. Not quite since its first Two Rivers Theatre run, but very early on from when it caught the internet’s attention. I was at the start of what was to become a viral sensation, and I was with the show, rooting for it, hoping for it, ever since. I feel like I walked the journey from crossing million hits on Spotify to the Broadway alongside the cast and creators. I felt immensely happy and proud for these people I never met when they announced their off-Broadway return, and I honest to god cried the day they opened on Broadway. Needless to say, I was overjoyed, literally jumping with happiness, when they announced they will stage a production on West End. Or technically off-West End? I’m still very confused how The Other Palace is not West End and Victoria Palace literally around the corner is West End... Anyway. I have not walked into that theatre on Valentine’s Day with low expectations.
And my Mount Everest high expectations were far, far exceeded and shot somewhere into the stratosphere.
I really can’t with words describe how much I loved this show. Joes Iconis and Tracz managed to hit some very special spot with this musical. It’s truly hard to describe, but this show just makes you happy. It makes you involved and interested. And I gotta tell you, I think we hit the press night, because there was a bunch of people (very respectfully) scribbling on their pads and iPads during the show, so this wasn’t an audience primed and geared for this type of musical. And that’s not even counting all the parents chaperoning their teenagers. And I can guarantee you everyone had a great time. During the intermission I went to get a drink and witnessed several conversations between aforementioned parents that all pretty much amounted to “wow, this is actually good!” It’s honestly such a treat to be in an audience that’s genuinely enjoying themselves.
This show is funny, and heartfelt, and charming. So charming. It has somehow a vibe of a really well done high school production, which could maybe sound like a criticism but i swear it isn’t!
I haven’t seen much of the previous productions, except few clips from the Two Rivers bootleg slime tutorial, but I really tried not to watch too much, hoping against hope there will be a revival one day (I try not to watch shows I have a chance of seeing one day. I’m fortunate to have the chance of having the full experience live so I try not to ruin it for myself lol). I gobbled up all the official promo clips and videos from the NYC revival, being super unlucky and managing to plan my New York trip in that small window when BMC just closed Off-Broadway and before it got on Broadway. I haven’t even listened to the Broadway recording, because by the time it came out I knew they’ll be staging a production over here. So i went in quite blind. With all that previous ado, this is how it was:
The book is so good. So so good. Many times when I fall in love with an album, the actual musical doesn’t hold up because the book doesn’t compare (hi, Dear Evan Hansen). But BMC is as engaging and fun between the songs as during them. Tbh I don’t love the changes to the songs they made, but I don’t really hate them either... Now having listened to the Broadway recording they reverted somewhat back to the original album on West End and I’m happy they did, but still. Especially Pitiful Children did not deserve the cuts. But I mean its still mostly the same album and it’s brilliant and fun, and ok, Looser, Geek or Whatever is a bop.
(Although I always kinda liked that Jeremy didn’t have a typical big “hero song” because he keeps mentioning how he isn’t a hero and it was kinda ironic that his own show refused him the hero treatment, but the song is solid.)
This cast is EVERYTHING. I’m sorry all previous casts, I love you and I respect you but i really think the British cast is (so far) the peak? Obviously as I said I don’t have the full picture to compare, but honestly these guys are all so good and I can’t imagine anyone else in these roles, they set the bar so high. Yes, even Michael. Omg I’m so sorry George Salazar! This role is his in a very special way, and I feel blasphemous saying this! But that’s what makes Blake Patrick Anderson so special, because I didn’t think I will ever be able to accept another Micheal than George Salazar. But from the first moment Anderson appears on stage, you don’t think of George Salazar. This right here is a Micheal and that’s it. I think he’s slightly less... Manic, than Salazar, and more caring, but also more stubborn, and nerdy. My friend said after the first act the character’s problem is that he’s a bit too likeable and it’s almost unbelievable he would be a social outcast and she was right. The dude is so damn likeable! So charming, so positive. And then Micheal in the Bathroom hits and omg does it hit. Also Blake Patrick Anderson has a really long name is very pretty. A+ snack. I’m in love. Scott Folan is, uh, I don’t really love him vocally... Ok I liked him until Loser Geek of Whatever. I don’t know, maybe it wasn’t his day. Or maybe that song is just written for Will Roland and no one will ever measure up? Tbh I haven’t seen Roland sing it live so who knows, maybe it is one of those songs that’s hard to perform without yelling a bit. Praying circle for the West End cast album? However Scott Folan’s acting is a masterclass. He’s so awkward in the first act, so sad, but also sweet. Actually I said i didn’t love his singing but when his voice cracks all over in his first few songs it’s superb and also his “Christiiine~” is really beautiful and lovely, so, dunno *shrugs*. And then in the second half he totally sells his confidence and assholer-y and like... They seem like two different jeremys, the squipped and un-squipped one. But ultimately he just gives such good-kid vibes. He seems like the perfect midpoint between Will Connolly’s shy Bambi and Roland’s geeky recluse. This Christine is absolutely feral. Like, you have no idea. Some people commented on the video of I Love Play Rehersal from the rehearsals that this Christine is not chaotic enough, so I’m seriously worried how chaotic Stephenie Hsu was? :D In any case Miracle Chance I thought was perfect, the ideal mixture of quirky but relatable, sweet but strong. Also she is hilarious. I’m pretty sure she got the most laugh out of the audience, not just because the actress’s absolutely perfect comedic timing but also that role is so well written. Like you really can’t get the full idea of this character until you watch the show, you know? It’s very layered, but each layer is easy to get so she makes a really fun character to watch. The Squip is hot. Like so hot. And his costumes are wonderful. And I know I’m not the only one who didn’t love Jason Tam’s accent as Squip and like... I think I know what he was going for but it just doesn’t work for me. This Squip is a lot more like Eric William Morris, just more hot. Oh yeah I mean the dude is fantastic actor too, and his voice is something impressive, but mostly I was just thinking “hot” whenever he was on stage :D James Hameed’s Rich is vocally stunning. By far the best Squip Song I have ever heard. Also he has Pickle Rick tattoo?? It’s fucking brilliant I HATE IT! :D Millie O’Connel is perfect of course. She has such a presence on stage. It was hilarious when she came out after the show, with her hair down and make-up off and said hi and people mostly kinda ignored her cause... She’s really a hurricane on stage and when she dials it down just a notch I really think people don’t connect her to her stage persona :D
(Also like, massive kudos to The Other Palace’s stage door, cause they allow you to just hang around the bar where the cast has to go through to leave the place, so no dirty alleyways stage dooring in rain and cold and possible pickpockets around.)
I really loved the staging, and it’s very small, very minimal, which isn’t something I normally like, so well done! They definitely dialled back from the Broadway (the bean bags are back!) and honestly the minimal props and simple set really suit this show. It adds to that almost-like-a-really-good-school-play charm. But also they have this massive LED screen as the background so they can change and move and animate their backdrop and it’s honestly so impressive. The artwork is so perfectly in line with the show’s aesthetic. And it’s building up and up towards the show’s climax which I thought was pretty subtle and pretty neat creative decision.
Ugh this is so long I didn’t think it would be so long :D But I have one criticism I cannot not mention. And I kinda always had this, but seeing it live it jumps out on me more - I don’t feel Jeremy and Christine :| I mean don’t get me wrong. The actors have amazing chemistry, their added song is the one that I actually really like and it makes sense, there’s so much more meaningful interaction they have in the show than the songs wold suggest. But. It still doesn’t quite sit well. Besides the fact that I don’t think the show’s narrative is about Jeremy getting the girl - that’s not really his character arc. But also, although they’re not incompatible, he gets the girl he doesn’t even really know, and she definitely doesn’t know him. I think I would prefer if they just stayed friends at the end, but if there had to be romantic conclusion... Well, I mean who doesn’t ship boyf friends, but seriously if Michael was a girl I’m pretty sure he’d be the romantic endgame for Jeremy. You know the type, the old friend who was by the protagonists side and believed in him all along? Yeah. But besides that, i was surprised to find I kinda liked Jeremy with Brooke too? I mean they have the same problem as Jeremy and Christine, with not knowing each other and all that, but at least it’s mutual, and they seemed to have a spark. But maybe it’s just because I unexpectedly really, really loved Brooke (she doesn’t have much space on the album and no one ever really talks about her, why does no one really talk about her???). She defies a lot of her archetype, she seems like such a sweet person. I guess I would just like to see more of her, and more depth to her, which a romance with the protagonist would’ve given her.
But tbh the show devotes a lot more time than I thought it would for Christine and Jeremey’s relationship to develop and it isn’t unrealistic, so it ended up being a pretty minor issue, which i though would be a bigger one.
Tl;dr (oh my god why is this so long????) this show is everything I wanted and more. The West End cast is amazing, charming and delightful and each of them is perfectly cast to really embody their character, while giving some fresh outlook on characters I thought I knew very well and filling very big shoes of the original cast I thought couldn’t be replaced. Also I didn’t talk to any of them but they spend a long time hanging out with the fans after the show and seemed genuinely super nice and pleased with the love the show is getting. The book is more than an equal partner to the music I already was in love with (also Joe Iconis was at the show I saw! I didn’t talk to him because I’m me and I will forever regret it!). The Other Palace’s staging and direction is wonderful, and the choreography is impressive and very on brand with the rest of the show, very modern, very electro and robot. I enjoyed every second and the standing ovation at the end was well deserved.
Just to re-affirm how much I loved this show - just few days after seeing it I booked a ticket to go see it again almost immediately lol. So if anyone is seeing it this Wednesday 26th Feb and you can telepathically pick me in the audience come say hello!
(Or like, drop me a message like a normal person if you’re also going alone and want to meet with someone to seem less like a weirdo! :D)
#ramblings#i have a life#be more chill#bmc#be more chill west end#i love musicals!#musical theatre#review#i guess?#it’s pretty much just me yelling what a good time i had
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Be My Nightmare Ch5
A Matter of Timing
IT’S BACK BABY!!! This chapter has a lil spice partway through, mentions of violence and such as per usual.
Word count - 3,901
~~~Previous Chapter~~~
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You waved goodbye to Kotomi and headed for Dr. Malphas’ office. It was time to give him an update, per protocol. You sighed and rubbed your wrist against your pants again, trying to get the last few flecks of charcoal off to no avail. Hopefully, he wouldn’t notice.
The heavy door was already open when you arrived. A good sign, he never left it open unless he was in a good mood.
“Good afternoon, Dr. Malphas. I’m here to give you an update on V,” you began with a smile.
Familiar grizzled features greeted you from behind the oak desk. A wrinkled hand indicated the leather armchair across from him and you obediently took your seat, offering the charts you brought along for his review.
“Right on time, as always. How’s the patient adjusting?”
Now for the hard part – how much to tell him. You paused to consider as he flipped through the pages, skimming your various notes and assorted data. What was safe to leave out? What did he need to know in order to treat the artist effectively? Certainly not everything. Definitely not the handshake.
“After a catatonic episode on day one and several auditory hallucinations, patient has stabilized enough to be left unrestrained at night. No further violent incidents have occurred since his admission.”
Malphas shifted in his chair to lean forward, his kind eyes locked on yours. “And he passed the G.O.A.T. a few hours ago, correct?”
You nodded and folded your hands in your lap, keeping the smudge out of his line of sight.
“In that case, it might be time to bring him to a group session,” Dr. Malphas said.
A group session. With other patients and access to a full array of art supplies. The idea of V around other patients felt unimaginably dangerous, but why? All you had was a knee-jerk reaction of abject dismay, no medical reasoning or evidence to support your hesitance. Only anecdotes and hearsay. What logical reason could you offer to keep him isolated?
None.
You swallowed and pursed your lips, trying not to fidget. “I agree. Which group has room?”
His eyes drifted to a slip of paper taped to his monitor and you took the opportunity to reposition your hands. “Looks like group three, they meet at four pm.”
A distant rush echoed in your ears as your heartbeat accelerated. “Today?”
Dr. Malphas met your gaze with an inquisitive expression, one grey eyebrow lifted high. “Unless there’s something you’re not telling me?”
Shit. What do I do?
If the artist wasn’t ready, it was your job as his doctor to know and inform the director. Failure to do so would reflect poorly on your abilities, not to mention the potential injuries the man might inflict. Someone could get hurt, someone could die.
Could. It’s equally possible nothing will go wrong.
You hated gambling. Certainty and planning were far more effective methods; taking chances wasn’t necessary if one foresaw any potential problems. Rolling the dice, letting the chips fall where they may… it turned your stomach.
But what was the alternative? Admitting you withheld potentially crucial information on your patient, risking everything you worked so hard to achieve? Not to mention Malphas would probably want to see the sketch, maybe even reassign V to Kotomi or Mustafa.
I’ve already made so much progress. It wouldn’t be fair for him to have to start over with a new doctor. It’s in his best interest for me to preserve the status quo.
“Dr. Waras? Are you all right?”
You blinked away the conflict and forced a smile onto your lips. It wouldn’t do to show any reason for concern.
“Yes, I’m fine. As I said, I have no reason to keep him in isolation. The medication seems to be working and he hasn’t shown any signs of aggression.”
He hummed and leaned back, making a note on V’s chart. “Excellent, see that it’s done, then. Good work.”
“Thank you, sir,” you said as you stood.
He finished his note and closed the folder, returning it to you with a kind smile. With the arm not streaked with charcoal, you accepted it with a smile of your own and turned to leave. The sooner you were gone, the better.
---V---
Never had he been more grateful for the freedom to pace. His legs tingled at first, unused to the activity after so long, but soon enough the sensation faded away. There wasn’t much room; four of his long strides took him from the door to the window.
The view wasn’t great. Through the metal bars, he found a plain grey structure with a matching barred window every few meters. At ground level, several trees lined the walkway that led to the intake area. Crows and robins flitted by occasionally, but other than that he saw no living creatures. A barren yet manicured area, to be sure.
If he’d designed it, a spectacular fountain would feature prominently. Filled with blood, of course. Water was so boring.
Other changes popped into his mind, but none quite so brilliant.
With his daily therapy session already complete, hours of solitude separated him from the next interaction. Plenty of time for planning. Schemes and machinations filled his mind, all the information he gathered so far serving to flesh out the vaguer details.
The importance of your eventual allegiance couldn’t be overstated; without you, he had almost no chance of escape. Kevin may also come in handy, depending on the timing. Once the fool served his purpose, he’d make an excellent canvas for you to practice on.
He shuddered as images of your future exploits flashed into existence. How lovely you’d look streaked in crimson, blade in hand and wearing a wide smile. Kevin’s screams would serve as an excellent soundtrack, mixed with your laughter. Sheer decadence.
Heat gathered in his gut and his steps halted. Lithe fingers clenched as he tried to focus on his plotting, but his mind refused to cooperate. It was too alluring to imagine you bare and panting, begging him on your knees as he withheld his embrace.
Better yet, as he displayed his carnal skills on another woman, taunting you with every roll of his bloody hips. He’d take your hand and guide you as you flayed the flesh from her bones, sending her into shock. Blood would pool in every crevice of her body and coat his length. A magnificent hue only made more glorious by the canvas that displayed it.
Do it, you know you want to.
Nobody’s watching, you don’t have to hold back.
“Fuck…”
The plans could wait. His need couldn’t.
Softly slippered feet carried him to the camera’s blind spot, turned slightly toward the door. Slim fingers dove under the coarse fabric of his pants, wrapping around his hardening length and drawing it out. His breath hitched at the first contact, a deep groan following soon after as his hand moved.
What would your masterpiece look like? What vision would you strive to manifest, what tableau would you birth? A poetic arrangement of human hands, perhaps. Or a mosaic of molars, maybe a tower of tibias.
His thumb spread the first beads of his arousal over his head and he braced his other forearm against the wall. At this rate, he’d need the extra support.
He’d teach you everything he knew, every technique and method he learned at that ostentatious university. With every lesson, your devotion would grow. If you performed particularly well, perhaps he’d reward you with his tongue. What might you taste like?
His hand quickened, quiet gasps spilling from his lips as he leaned into his palm.
If you tasted even half as good as you smelled, he’d lose himself in lapping at your folds. Your subdued cries and spasming muscles would only motivate him more, especially if you tangled your hands in his hair. How high did your voice go? What pitch would make it break?
He rested his forehead on his braced arm, emerald eyes locked on his pumping fist. How he wished it was yours, with those delicate digits so soft and smooth…
A harsh clatter stole his attention as the door to his room swung open. He tried to turn away and compose himself, but he was far too slow.
Shit…
Worst timing ever, eh, Van Gogh?
There you stood, slack jawed and staring. What were you even doing here, he should’ve been alone for hours!
“Uh… s-sorry,” you stammered, closing your eyes and turning away.
Be careful. Don’t scare her.
The artist grimaced and covered himself. He’d really done it now, how was he going to fix this? Not with an apology, he couldn’t afford to appear weak. Not to mention he hadn’t done anything wrong. It was his room; he should be able to indulge himself if the desire struck.
A joke, then, to break the tension.
“You have the most unfortunate timing, Y/N. I was almost finished.”
A nervous chuckle rewarded his response, but it was clear in the slope of your shoulders you were still on edge.
“You can look, now. I’m decent.”
“R- right. Okay,” you replied, turning ever so slowly toward him. A faint blush stained your cheeks and you kept glancing away, unable to hold his gaze.
Honestly. It was just a cock, why were you acting so strange? Half the population had one, and he doubted it was the first you’d ever seen. You weren’t like most people, but not in that way. Why did you seem so embarrassed?
Unless…
His lips stretched into a wicked grin. You were embarrassed because you liked it. Perhaps you’d indulged in your own fantasies, imagining him doing unspeakable things to your body. How perfect, his machinations were bearing fruit already. Goosebumps erupted on his arms at the tantalizing idea.
Focus, you fool.
“Shut up, Vergil! I know,” he hissed under his breath, but your ears were too keen.
“What’s Vergil saying?”
Damn.
The artist moved to sit on the edge of his thin mattress, brushing strands of black out of his eyes. A deeper voice rumbled from the hall, probably Kevin’s by the sound of it. Yet another reason to tear him to pieces. Why must the idiot interrupt every moment he shared with you?
“Nothing that bears repeating,” he replied with a resigned sigh. “Why are you here?”
Shuffling feet drew closer and familiar meaty hands clicked a pair of cuffs in place on his wrists. What was going on? Was he being moved?
“You’ve been approved for group therapy. We’re here to escort you,” the accursed man answered.
Interesting… perhaps you’ll meet someone useful.
V bit his lip to keep from responding. What exactly group therapy entailed, he couldn’t say, but the term implied others were involved. An opportunity, then, at the very least. More tools to utilize in his plans. He stood with a restrained smile, humming his understanding.
“It starts in less than ten minutes, let’s go,” you said.
Kevin followed his every move as he joined you in the hallway. You still refused to meet his eyes, but the blush was already gone. What a shame.
As always, he paid special attention to the security checkpoints and any noteworthy details. It never hurt to gather more information. A fire extinguisher and alarm caught his interest, just on the other side of the first pair of gates.
Not a word broke the silence as you led him to the stairwell, descending a single flight before scanning your badge and opening the door to the second floor. He barely had time to glance outside before Kevin ushered him into a room a meter away. The journey took less than three minutes; obviously you could have easily left him to finish his activities and still brought him in time.
How inconsiderate…
Yet at the sight of the room, his frustration vanished. A plain-looking desk and chair sat in the far corner, a couch identical to the one in your office against the opposing wall. Counters lined the far wall, a sink and drying rack beside it.
But what stole his breath was the trio of easels standing nearby, a healthy variety of brushes and colorful tins of paint arranged on a round table to his right.
Tears of joy prickled at his eyes. A chance to paint, to create not with a discarded lump of charcoal but with actual brushes and whatever colors he pleased. He could scarcely believe his eyes.
“We’re a little early, so you get first pick of the easels. Kevin will be right beside you the whole time,” you said.
No doubt Kevin was intended to stop him, should he try anything rash. Unlikely; he was far more interested in painting.
Jeez, chill out Van Gogh! Try not to piss yourself.
He grunted but didn’t speak, too aware of his audience. Griffon had a point, though. It would be terribly foolish to let his guard down.
Still, his legs trembled in excitement as he approached the easels, selecting the one with the best view of the room as his own. Kevin brought over an assortment of supplies. The artist expected the man to restrain him somehow, but he only offered a smile and set up the items. The cuffs still held his wrists closer together than he would’ve liked, but he was free to stand and stretch.
His fingers itched to begin. What should he do? With such an array of tools, the possibilities were near limitless.
“Hello, Ken. This is V, he’ll be joining us from now on,” your gentle voice said.
The artist’s eyes darted to asses the new figure, a man of average build with tired eyes and a thin tuft of hair. His features twisted in anxiety, his fingers fidgeting as he took the next easel. A sturdy fellow dressed identically to Kevin shadowed him; so, each patient had their own minder.
“And here’s our last member. How are you feeling, Kelly?”
A rotund woman shuffled forward, eyes downcast and partially hidden behind a curtain of limp hair. Another agent of averageness, barely worth his notice under ordinary circumstances.
“I’m okay, Dr. Waras.”
Even her voice spoke of mediocrity. If she proved useful, it would be quite a shock.
“All right, everyone. Today I’d like you to paint me something that makes you feel angry. Go ahead and start whenever you’re ready.”
Wait, he had to follow a theme? Absurd, how dare you limit him. He’d paint whatever he pleased, and there was nothing you could do to stop him.
Yeah, how’s she supposed to know if something makes you mad? She’s gotta take your word for it!
A cough covered his amusement. The man to his left, Ken, jumped at the noise and he almost repeated himself. This was going to be such fun.
---Reader---
The assignment was of your own design, meant to grant you new insights into the artist in particular. Kelly and Ken, you already understood. They no longer held your interest.
Speaking of interesting things…
No! Stop thinking about it.
You honestly didn’t mean to interrupt V’s activities. When you peered through the small window, he was leaned against the wall and moving in a way that didn’t quite click. In your foolishness, you thought he was having an episode or perhaps a seizure. Not until the door opened and his full body was visible did you realize what he was doing.
You pursed your lips. Mixed with your embarrassment was anger at yourself for your reaction. Just standing there, gaping like a fish at his admittedly impressive length. Even such a brief glimpse left lingering images behind of his glistening head and stroking fingers.
How were you supposed to handle something like that? It’s not like you could pretend nothing happened, not with his teasing words making fun of you. Ridiculous, he should’ve apologized to you, not the other way around.
You forced it from your mind and took your usual spot at the desk, observing your three patients with a critical eye. Kelly hadn’t even picked up a brush yet, but Ken had a few streaks of blue on the canvas. V was still busy mixing colors together. Heat flooded your face as his fingers smoothly combined red and purple, the same hand he used to-
Stop thinking about it!
And he hadn’t washed his hands.
You shifted your weight, refusing to acknowledge the faint stirring inside you. You’d have to be a complete lunatic to indulge that line of thought.
An irritated huff drew your attention back to the artist. He was glaring at the mixture on his palette as if its very existence offended him. Kevin’s shoulders tensed as he noticed the hostility, bracing to intervene the moment it became necessary.
“This is unacceptable.”
Ken snuck a peek, his suspicion and curiosity obvious. The poor man had serious issues with sudden changes. It would’ve been better if you’d been able to tell him V was joining beforehand, but it didn’t matter at this point. The damage was done.
“What are you talking about?” he asked.
The artist met his eyes with a scowl. “This color, it’s not right. Far too bright.”
Maybe you should’ve expected this. The man went to school for this, for heaven’s sake. Of course he’d be picky about his materials, given the chance.
“Oh. Okay then. Can’t you just add some black or something?” Ken replied.
This could be bad…
Ken’s words could easily be taken poorly, as an insult to the artist’s skills. You leaned closer, darkly curious how he’d react. Kevin was right there if he attacked, though he may do some damage if he aimed for the eyes. If not, it might be a sign of serious progress. Either way, an interesting development.
“No, that would make it too dark. Here, I’ll show you,” the black-haired murderer said calmly.
Huh.
Ken narrowed his eyes but listened as V patiently showed him the basics of mixing. It was incredible, a whole new facet of his personality you’d never seen before. He reminded you of a college art teacher, his every word laden with knowledge and enthusiasm. You thanked your lucky stars the room featured two cameras, allowing you to observe without worrying about taking down any details.
Even Kelly listened, showing more interest than you’d ever seen from her. He answered their questions and demonstrated some simple techniques, all with a total lack of hostility.
It filled you with regret. So much potential, wasted. He could’ve done so much if he took a different path. What a goddamned shame.
“Why don’t you try it now?”
Ken selected a blinding shade of yellow and a forest green, mixing them together with a spark of delight in his eyes. To your amazement, he actually laughed and thanked the artist for his explanation before turning back to his own easel.
Then V’s clever eyes met yours and he winked, a knowing smirk twisting his lips.
---V---
Winking might have been going too far, but he couldn’t resist. Not with that gob smacked look on your face. He knew you probably expected him to react differently, but Shadow’s warning roar broke through the haze of fury before it was too late. She truly was the best of them.
Ken was tolerable enough. He’d make a decent ally, when the time came. Perhaps during the next group session, he’d try to learn why the man was here, what made him tick. How to manipulate him.
Kelly was far less appealing. She lacked energy, the poor thing. She might serve as a decent canvas, but nothing more. What a shame.
He returned his focus to his easel. The color still refused to cooperate, but he’d have to make do. Enough time wasted on lesser pursuits; it was time to paint.
The first stroke of his brush was sheer bliss. His heart fluttered like a hummingbird’s wings as the bright crimson streak marked his canvas. A euphoric grin split his lips and one of his knees started bouncing in delight. Oh, what perfection, to be able to hone his skills once again.
He tilted his head, assessing angles and planning the next several additions in advance. Time lost meaning as more and more layers covered the plain white foundation of his work, shades of red and purple and blue forming the shapes in his mind.
He was a conduit for a higher purpose, tapping into something far larger than himself. This was his purpose. Every mark he added brought him closer to nirvana, his arm flying across with practiced ease.
A deep cough shattered his trance. Rage pulsed under his skin as he shot a glare at Kevin, only just resisting the urge to drive the handle of his brush through his nostril and deep into his brain. The time would come, but this wasn’t it.
Destroying the fool held almost as much appeal as burying his cock in your core.
“We’re almost out of time, guys. Ten more minutes,” you announced.
Panic bloomed in his chest. It was too soon, he needed more time. He couldn’t bear the thought of being locked in that small room for however long, cut off from his purpose once again.
You have no choice. Focus.
Vergil was right. He lacked the means to fight back, for now.
The artist sighed and gauged his work. Not even close to his high standards, but he hadn’t used such mediocre supplies in years. He couldn’t expect perfection, not with such lackluster tools. All he could do was add a little bit more purple, perhaps a touch of yellow…
The final touch was two rapid strokes of black, meeting in the lower right corner. He smirked, remembering the day he changed his name. The one his parents granted him at birth didn’t befit him, far too mundane to be attributed to his masterpiece. It would’ve been such a chore signing such a complicated string of letters, he much preferred his chosen moniker.
“We’re out of time, everyone. Let’s see what you made.”
You approached Ken’s easel first, praising his use of color. V allowed himself a moment of self-congratulation for his teaching before taking a look. He had to bite his cheek to contain his laughter, but even so a snort slipped free.
The man painted a cat.
A cat with a pistol.
What the…
My sentiments exactly.
How did you maintain your composure? It baffled him, a cat with a gun did nothing to you, yet the sight of his cock made you stutter. Unbelievable. You definitely broke the mold.
Kelly’s canvas showed a poorly executed portrait, splotchy blobs for eyes and a thin line of pink forming what he assumed to be a mouth. Pitiful, yet you offered her praise as well.
Then you came to his.
“Oh… Um, very nice work, V. Very detailed,” you offered.
“Thank you, Dr. Waras. Would you like to keep it?”
You pursed your lips and shook your head, fingers tapping on your thighs. “That’s all right. Go ahead and escort them back to their rooms, please. I’ll clean up.”
The artist shrugged as if he didn’t care and allowed Kevin to lead him from the room. The last sight before he turned the corner was of your face, staring at his creation as if it held the secrets of the universe.
~~~Next Chapter~~~
#fanfic#Be My Nightmare#dmcv#dmc#v x reader#reader insert#devil may cry#spicy#scheming bastard#darkv#mental illness
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Hi, this was the most amazing weekend of my life, so I’m gonna make a continuation of this post. Click on the photos for captions.
Me screaming about everything is going to be under the cut. And it’s going to be VERY long. I have a lot of words and I’m going to say a fraction of them, but in case you don’t want to read all that (because this post is honestly 99% for me) here’s a TLDR:
I met Jess (@noneeyewithleftyork) for the second time and hung out with her and Kt (@seelieflies) in New York for the first time and saw The Prom, Be More Chill, and Hamilton and cried uncontrollably and went to NY pride and Felt the Gay energy in the air and walked around the city and rode the train and took a million pictures and got blisters on my feet and ate some amazing food and slept a ridiculously small amount and took everything in and did fun things with fun people and had the time of my life and it can literally only go downhill from here!
Had 3 WILDLY different experiences seeing these shows since my experience with these shows were all different. The common thread between all of them was that I had a FUCKING BLAST.
The Prom
Saw The Prom on the Saturday matinee of pride weekend and the audience was AMAZING. Everyone in the audience was here and queer and LOVING it.
It was cold as SHIT in the theater and I was freezing my ass off the entire time but it was still so fun.
I have never seen or heard any music from The Prom and only knew a vague synopsis of it going in (girl wants to bring gf to prom with her, can’t), so my reactions to everything in the show was a lot of genuine first reactions to the material. The Prom was funny as FUCK and the audience was laughing and clapping and cheering along.
The dance numbers were incredible and I loved the choreography a lot. Caitlin Kinnunen can SING, holy shit. Like absolutely WOW. Just WOW. She was amazing.
I cried at the end of act 1 from how fucking mean spirited those students were and how the meaning of “tonight belongs to us” changed and it was just so brilliant. And the staging of the two proms on the each half of the stage with the different lighting and the two girls back to back was fucking BEAUTIFUL and part of the reason I started crying too.
I cried also at the end of the show when they kissed because it was so sweet. I cried when Alyssa’s mom told her she just didn’t want her life to be hard. The actress who played Alyssa’s mom did SO well that for a Brief Moment, I felt sympathy for her. It was very brief but it happened.
Be More Chill
Saw Be More Chill on the Saturday night show and it was so fucking cool. I saw Will Roland with my own two eyes. Like wow. Wow!!!
The seats in the Lyceum balcony were slanted as FUCK it was almost funny. And because we had been so cold during The Prom, between shows we went and all literally bought jackets/something to wear to keep us warm during BMC but BMC was not more chill. In fact, it was hot as Satan’s anus. We melted to death but we still had fun.
A lot of the time I laughed in BMC was because of how actors delivered certain lines different from how I had heard them in the soundtrack/off broadway boot I’ve seen. Being familiar with the show made this experience really different from The Prom, but also I’ve only know about BMC’s existence for a bit over a month and only really gotten into it in the past few weeks, so the show hasn’t really really sunk in with me yet, which is probably why I had such a muted emotional reaction to it. It was definitely amazing but I didn’t cry nearly as much as I thought I would.
I also cried during Voices In My Head when they kissed and during the na nas when they do the wave over their head. I just love that one very specific bit of choreo.
Though the night before I went up to LA, I was in call with @noneeyewithleftyork and @seelieflies and Jess was talking about places we could visit in NY, and she mentioned the M&M store. I said to myself under my breath “but Eminem is dead!” and laughed because of how dumb the joke was. She wanted to know what I was laughing at and I told her I’d tell her after we saw BMC and so then the entire day when we kept walking past the M&M store, I was hyping up the joke/talking about it.
By the time the show came around, we had talked about the stupid fucking M&M/Eminem thing like maybe 10 times since I initially made the joke so it was really hyped up. And then the Squip goes “buy that shirt” and Jeremy hold up the shirt and I’m already looking at them for their reactions and they turn to me and I laughed to the point it hurt. It was a lot of “are you kidding me? Is this it??????” looks and it was just the funniest fucking thing to me.
And then the second Eminem scene happened and I laughed EVEN HARDER than I did before. They were also losing it next to me and turned to look at me and I was nodding and laughing and had tears in my eyes from how hard I was laughing and it was just magical and so incredibly stupid. The “did you kill Eminem” line was particularly funny.
@noneeyewithleftyork in the M&M store before we saw the show.
Cried a little bit during Loser, Geek, Whatever. Because you know. It’s lgw. I’m going to NOT cry, watching wrol sing his heart out on stage. He held that last note for like 7.5 measures and it was impressive as SHIT especially considering he’s been on stage for like an hour and this is the end of a six minute solo number. Fucking incredible.
Will Roland’s delivery in the first bit of the show is incredible. It’s so LOUD and shouty and awkward. His speech is very halting and rushed. It sounds like Jeremy is taking a leap every time he chooses to say something and he always says it at the very last moment as if he deliberates over it for a long time. And then the transition from his character pre-Squip is incredible. Also he sounds even more nasally in person if that’s possible. I’ll post more about the performance later on my sideblog.
Hamilton
And then I saw the Sunday matinee performance of Hamilton. Holy FUCK, I saw Hamilton. The bottom row of pictures is every time I started crying/felt a fresh wave of tears come. It was 66 times. I had to keep taking off/putting back on my glasses because of my tears. Highlights of times I cried/times I full on sobbed include:
Crying around ~4 times because the guy playing Hamilton was asian (and he was SO insanely good)
Crying at the line “everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree” just because I know how much @noneeyewithleftyork loves that line
Before the show started started, I was just staring at my playbill and I started crying very subtly because I didn’t want the people next to me to see that I was crying before it even began.
I cried so hard leading up to/during Wait For It that by the end my arms had gone numb and I was almost hyperventilating.
Sobbing at the second time the first verse of Hurricane is repeated and the lights go blue/purple and the entire company FREEZES as if they were caught in the eye of a hurricane and it was fucking beautiful.
Full sobbing during best of wives and best of women the MOMENT the violin starts to play because again it was so fucking beautiful and I knew what was about to come.
Full on sobbing during intermission and after the show.
As soon as lights went down at intermission I was bawling. I talked to the people beside me about how I became good friends with @noneeyewithleftyork and @seelieflies years ago because of Hamilton and now we’re all seeing it together. Then went to talk to Jess and Kt and cried at them for a bit. Pulled myself together for the beginning of act 2.
Then as soon as the lights went down at the end of the show I started bawling AGAIN and the woman beside me pulled me into a hug as I sobbed.
And then I ran down to tell the conductor (still full on sobbing) and the pit that I love them. Here’s how it went: “hi pit I love you oh my god I love you so much you guys were so good I love you so much.” All while these words were barely comprehensible because I was still crying too hard. I think a pianist waved at me but there were too many tears in my eyes for me to be sure.
Those were the crying highlights. Onto other stuff.
The seat I had was fucking INCREDIBLE. Jess and Kt sat together in the 2nd row because Jess won the lottery and I sat in the 9th row because we had to buy a third ticket but the view was still absolutely AMAZING.
Here’s the view from my seat. I could see the entire stage with minimal movement of my head and it was AMAZING. We had sat super far left in the balcony for The Prom and BMC so sitting in the orchestra was SUCH a cool experience because we could actually see the actors faces instead of just the top of their heads. Jess and Kt sat so close they could SEE the tears on the actors faces.
Similar to BMC, a lot of the laughs I had in Hamilton were from how certain actors delivered the lines different from the soundtrack I was used to hearing. However, they were different people from the ones on the soundtrack unlike BMC, so it really felt like seeing different takes on a character I had already known. I’ve also been a Hamilton fan for over 3 years now. I was WAY more emotional during this show than the other two for that reason I guess. Hamilton’s been with me for a while. And also the subject matter is just sadder.
The guy playing Burr was so fucking GOOD. Like there were a few times I teared up just because of how fucking incredible his vocals were. The guy playing Hamilton was also so indescribably fantastic.
We stagedoored after and I showed some of the actors my cry arm and their reactions to it were great. Got my playbill signed by them too!
Not Broadway Stuff
We didn’t JUST see Broadway shows this weekend, though we did see a show in every possible time slot lol. We did other stuff!
Friday afternoon we went and saw Jess’ cousin’s dance recital which was holy shit. Those kids can DANCE. Like I wasn’t expecting that level of performance from them for some reason and I was blown away. The people behind us were very very very angry that Jess was Loud and being Jess, but then they left so who cares.
Saturday morning we got up super early and took the train into the city. On the train ride there Jess got an email that said she WON THE FUCKING HAMILTON LOTTERY. And we all just sat there in shock. When we got to the city, we just walked around and I took pictures of a bunch of theaters. We passed by the M&M store many times. We basically walked down the same like 5 streets a bunch of times and then we ran around like idiots trying to get tickets to the matinee show of The Prom, which we eventually did. We paid an astronomical amount of money to buy a third ticket for Hamilton. We went to a melt shop and they spelled my name in an incredible way.
Look at that. “trese-”
Fucking amazing. I had no idea there was a dash in my name but I guess there is now. Or actually, according to a girl we met on the subway, my name is Katrina. We just randomly started talking to some people we met in the subway station and continued talking as we packed like gay sardines into the subway to go to the pride festival. It was an Experience.
I also saw this fan at pride and had to take a picture. I don’t take normal tourist pictures according to Jess. Which is true. I just take pictures of dumb shit that makes me laugh.
And on that lovely note, it’s time to wrap up this post. I’m not kidding when I say this has probably been the best weekend of my life. But also I have memory problems so who knows what other weekends I’ve forgotten. But hey! That’s what this post and photos are for! To remember all this shit. This has been something incredible and I hope I get to go back soon because NY is honestly an amazing city and I love the energy of it so much.
To steal a line from BMC, everything about this weekend was so wonderful.
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So this Music And Lyrics AU, I’m seeing washed up John from his Gone To Bali years and sunny moppet Roger as the plant-watering lyricist who bounces into his life, but I can also see Roger as the pop idol who has gone slightly to seed encountering the blend of innocent sweetness and zinger put-downs that is John
oh oh oh roger is defs the pop star gone to seed??? in my og version of this au but now im like hmmmmm. but ok so like
roger was part of a band with.... lets say brian and tim (bc well we need a bad guy, and poor tim is the fall guy). time fucks off with the music that brian and roger had written together and makes it big as a solo artist.
brian well. he’s pissed? but also, kinda wants to get his PhD, ya know? it was fun while it lasted, but. it’s not worth bankrupting themselves trying to prove their case, and the bands clearly over now anyway?
and roger, well. all roger ever wanted to be was a musician, right? and tim and brian have fucked off (and depending on the day he either respects brian’s decision or feels betrayed by it) so he’s.... stuck
and he puts out a solo album but it doesnt do well, and everyone’s comparing him to tim and he just. sort of gets in a rut. the music starts to run out and he’s fucking not gonna be the old time wonder working at fucking Sainsbury’s, okay? he’s not. this is not a pauper to popstar to pauper story, no way, no how.
so he starts.... picking up gigs where he plays their old songs. it’s. it’s not great? but! he gets to play his music, he gets to sing, and he fucks around with his own music back at home but he learned his lesson. he’s not putting out any solo stuff any time soon. it’s fine.
(freddie is his best mate who is, ya know, also a successful musician? he has a brilliant solo career and he’s constantly trying to convince roger to collab with him, or even just come on tour and drum for him? something????? but roger’s got it into his head that that’s not meant for him, that he fucked up his chance. he’s comfortable where he is even if he’s a little bit miserable.)
ANYWAY john comes to water his fucking plants
and john is, it should be noted, terrible with plants? like he does NOT have a green thumb at all, but a friend of a friend needed a favour for a week or so and
so when he walks in he immediately knows who roger is? cause like. his little sister julie? had SUCH a thing for him when they were teenagers. like, cried when the band broke up. was potentially one of the only people who bought his solo album, and definitely the only person who gave it a 5 star review. and johns like...... oh look at this sad sack of shit.
which like. roger is.
and freddie is over too with this lyricist they’ve rumbled up to work with roger for this pop sensations requested song and the lyrics this guy is coming up with are just.... they’re so bad? and freddie is taking a nap on the sofa because it’s so awful, roger looks about three seconds from strangling the guy
and john doesnt even mean to? he’s honestly jut talking to himself really but he comes up with a few lyrics and next thing he knows roger is inviting him to “a small performance tonight” (freddie rolls his eyes so violently he almost falls off of the sofa) and begging him to think about being his lyricist and
john makes the mistake of mentioning it to julie. then makes the mistake of agreeing to take her and. god it’s.... it’s sad okay? like roger is? 35? and doing high school reuinions? it’s just fucking sad.
and what makes it worse is that roger seems to know? like roger isn’t so much as in on the joke as he is.... resigned to it. makes the jokes before anyone else has the chance to.
freddie finds john to the side of the audience and is like....... pls be his lyricist because i dont have the time and, fucking hell, this might be his last chance to escape the clutches of bingo nights and high school reunions. he almost did a bar mitzvah last month.
and john really cant say no to that
and roger’s fun! like john is surprised to find that misery doesnt come easy to him? like he has his self pitying moments, is certainly the first to say something disparaging about himself and his abilities, but! he’s fun??? his music is good! he had stacks of cd’s just wracked up and when john asks about them roger just shrugs and says, oh you know, just songs i’ve played around with over the past few years
he’s fun and he genuinely believes that john’s a good lyricist. he makes contributions, he’s honest. he writes music like it comes to him as easy as breathing and ok
johns not proud but he sorta has a crush on the guy he thought, like three days ago, was a washed up sad sack of shit
look ok! he didn’t know him! he was jusging the book by its cover! it’s a pretty dingy cover. it’s all marked up and the corners are bent, and like yeah it’s pretty but it’s pretty in that way that’s like three vodka soda’s from crying about how sad it is, deep down.
(he tells this to roger, one day, once the song is released and they’re a collab team and, y’know..... just a team. roger is so offended. he’s never even had a vodka soda in his life. give him like one and a half gin and tonics, however)
anyway they work together and get closer (john shares his own Dark Backstory: basically the same as in the movie, he got taken advantage of by a professor at his university who then went on to write a book about it.) and then.......... roger’s a dick
they run into the professor and roger is. he’s projecting. he’s projecting his own issues onto john. like roger needs to confront tim (and not so much confront, but clear the air with brian) but he cant and the root of john’s own issues is standing right in front of them and so he.... basically forced john to confront him
and it goes badly
it goes really badly
and so john is embarrassed and angry at roger for making him do that, and roger is frustrated because it wasn’t meant to go like that (in all his fantasies, he and brian are friends again at the end of it and tim is humiliated in the corner and.... that’s how it was supposed to go for john). and so they both start saying things they.... both mean and dont mean (because the worst things you can ever say to someone are the things just rooted enough in truth to hit home and scrape at their insecurities, but exaggerated enough that you create little pinpricks of paranoia that actually those little truths aren’t so little at all.)
and, well.
john shows up to see their song performed and
roger sings a song for him
and song that roger wrote
which is a huge, big deal. because it’s not a joke. roger isn’t making a joke with this song, he’s not laughing at it before anyone else can. he’s singing it for john and he means it. and that’s
:)
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(Incomplete) Review of Lust For Life
This is the first half of my unfinished review of Lust For Life by Lana Del Rey written on my Wordpress (canwetalkaboutthatthing) which I’m trying to convince myself to finish. Also, all of the written things are my opinion AND I haven’t proofread or anything!
You would only have to know me for ten minutes to discover how much I love Lana Del Rey and her music. Despite the criticisms she has received for things she has said and the glorification of drugs, violence and death, I personally feel there is more to her than that; positives that outweigh the negatives. I feel she is a talented artist - musically, lyrically and visually - and she has a spirit as beautiful as her voice. However, I don't allow this worship of her to halt my own opinions of her music - ones that may differ from the mainstream critics that have already dissected her record - which leads me to this badly-introduced post on her newest album (forgive me, I'm rusty).
When she released Lust For Life this year I felt blessed with her new offering of music - and opinionated. Listening to her album on near-repeat throughout the end of summer and entirety of autumn has given me the chance to pull apart each track and decide precisely how I feel for them. Some I became hooked on immediately - I sang along, I cried and I recognised the familiar 'Lana Del Rey' vibe she consistently has in her previous albums. Others I felt unsettled with, as I couldn't connect to them nor did they have the traditional 'Lana' vibe. Not to say that they're bad songs, nor to say that they are objectively the lesser songs on the album, but in my own personal opinion some were not as favourable as others.
Beginning with the opening track, Love - her first release for the album - I was pleasantly and wonderfully surprised. Whilst it had some new additions to it (directing the song towards her beloved fans, referring to us as 'kids', the pleasant vibe which is rarely seen in a Lana Del Rey song) it still had the familiarity of her vaguely retro music and the lyrics including her favourite "vintage music". It's a beautiful song, easy to get into and gives you a warm vibe. Paired with the futuristic video of shooting stars, floating cars and a beaming Lana, it is a purely joyful and reflective song, paying homage to the fans that, like her, are just young and in love. It's the essence of the majority of her music - to be in love, to fall out of love. Love is a central theme for most of her songs and lyrics. This track takes a positive approach towards it, introducing the album with a lust for life.
This continues into the second single and second track of the album - Lust For Life - her first duet out of the five. It is still Lana with a hint of something new - the familiarity of the doo-wop music and the Americana references to Hollywood go beautifully with her ecstatic joy for life rather than the consideration that we're all really born for death. Once again Lana croons with The Weeknd (previously in Prisoner, Stargirl Interlude and at the end of Party Monster in The Weeknd's albums Beauty Behind The Madness and Starboy) and it's impossible to deny that their voices are made for each other. Both sweet and swooning, silken to listen to, they're a musical match made in heaven, and it makes the line "my boyfriend's back and he's cooler than ever" that much more adorable. Lyrically, the song is about the joys of being with that special someone, seeing the wondrous hope in the world and enjoying being alive, just stripping down and taking off your clothes to only enjoy one another's company - or perhaps "taking off" the serious wall around our true emotions and selves after the worrying events of 2017, an idea that's more believable due to the politically-aware theme of the album. Comparing Lana's almost spoken, low verses with a hint of smiling in her tone to her swooping, sing-a-long choruses, it's another track to make you feel good inside and want to twirl around on the H of the Hollywood sign with the person in your life.
Both of these tracks - happy, and featuring Happy Del Rey - are soon followed by the return of traditional Lana: a cinematic, sweeping opening, a quote from the vintage film (Carnival Of Souls) and devastated confessions of how it hurts to love someone but you can't help yourself: 13 Beaches. Once again, Lana has given us a song to cry over, to lie back and envision the gorgeous imagery she invokes throughout the song - sunlit beaches, dripping peaches and ballroom dancing (as randomly as it sounds). Though it is a song dedicated to the impossibility of being alone when you're famous, and the complicated relationship with fame (loving it and hating it), it can still be taken as a sweet song for a lost lover, and it's these interpretations that make her music on the whole so much more enjoyable for each person individually. It's pure Lana Del Rey, just as brilliant and upsetting as The Blackest Day, Pretty When You Cry or Blue Jeans - though feels slightly disconnected to a real love interest due to the roots of who it's really for: fame.
The fourth track, and one of the shortest, is decidedly my favourite. It's a song that fills me with so much joy as it does sadness that I can't resist it at all. It's a song I frequently listen to and sing along to as there are so many elements that make it so fabulous. Firstly, once again the Lana-isms return: stunning imagery of cherries, wine, rosemary and thyme, and the difficulty in loving a dangerous man who is no good for you. Secondly, the music itself - I think it's a fun and sexy song, especially when you see Lana perform it live - and it makes it that much more enjoyable to sing and dance to with friends. Thirdly, its connection to the previous song: In 13 Beaches, she delicately references to eating "dripping peaches", a stunning image. However, in Cherry, she informs us that her peaches are "ruined". It's a beautiful link, and she has often reused and linked lyrics in many songs before. In this album, peaches, black beaches and summer bummers are recycled in the first few tracks, linking these opening songs together - and connecting them further is the vibe. Moving onto the fourth thing I adore about Cherry is the swearing. Between verses and choruses, and at the end of the song, she exclaims a muffled "Fuck!", and peppers the latter half of the song with "Bitch". It's spiteful and sexy, a comeback that both deals with the emotions and ruin as well as calling out the one who made her snap. The insults honestly make it more fun, especially when you can shout them out loud when no one is around and imagine you're a sneering Lana looking down upon the man who destroyed the things she loved.
White Mustang, the second short track, takes a slightly different turn. Rather than being directly insulting towards the ne'er-do-well, she instead laments over him. He was a big man with a big car, clearly a dangerous man like the one who made her feel as if she was "smiling when the firing squad was against [her]" - the "revving"/"lightening" brings to mind danger and potential damage. It's a gentler song, with a soft piano throughout and slower choruses. This song is definitely a close favourite for me, keeping in line (once again) with recognisable Lana Del Rey imagery (cars/horses) and the dedication to a man she loved who she couldn't keep up the pace with. The switch from white Mustang the car to white mustang the horse is swift and cute, and my favourite part of the entire song is the whistling at the end. It brings along the slightly Western vibe, of a typical American cowboy which contrasts perfectly with the modernised addition of racing car sound effects. I just basically enjoy all these little things - subtle sounds and shifts that only layer it and add to the imagery.
"Summer"/"bummer" was a rhyming couplet in White Mustang and it only foreshadowed her next track (surprise, surprise, Summer Bummer). Her second duet and first of two with Asap Rocky (and Playboi Carti) begins with an entirely different piano vibe - a dark, quick paced throb of built-up energy which Lana flawlessly introduces. It feels big and explodes into a brilliant track starring Rocky in the second verse and in the backing vocals, but Lana has her own way of rapping: delicately listing "white lines and black beaches and blood red sangrias" to give it the summery vibe. This hip-hop track feels guided away from the usual Lana Del Rey but it's fresh and cool as a summer salad cucumber, her lazy vocals woven with her wavering warble towards the end of the track. It's not my favourite and I often prefer to skip Rocky's part (sorry) but it's still a great track.
Locky return with Groupie Love, my most likely close second on the album. I have to take a moment to mention how much I adore this song: the first time I listened to it, and most of the times following, I cried. I find the sweet lyrics, the gentle, bubbling music and the adorable, adoring tone so overwhelming. In some ways it's a parallel to White Mustang: both songs repeat their title over in the chorus, though whilst White Mustang sounds unhappy and longing, Groupie Love sounds radiant. It's a song that chokes me every time and returns to the theme of the follower of a brilliant man but this time rather than losing him or yearning for him, he returns his love to her. Rocky is sparkling on this track, his rap more low-key than his previous song, and their voices together remind me of the National Anthem video - the kisses they blew and the way they held each other as Jackie and John F Kennedy. The sweetest moment? The way they both sing "You and I, til the day we die." Lana and Rocky have sung together before (obviously on Summer Bummer but also on Ridin', an unreleased track) and they compliment one another wonderfully. Where The Weeknd and Lana share a similar voice that can drip like honey, Lana's lighter vocals oppose Rocky's harder, deeper tone, but it's just as beautiful, especially in a track so cute.
This to me is the where the best part of the album ends - seven strong tracks, definitively Lana Del Rey, each of them some of my favourite songs. When In My Feelings begins, I feel like the record takes a slight nosedive. In My Feelings is a song that I always feel is out of place. It doesn't feel quite like something Lana would sing to me, and whilst I understand she may experiment with styles and it's a song many fans favour, I can't connect with it. Does it have her smokey, filtered vocals? Of course, and they're as pretty as ever. Does it have the incredible imagery? Definitely: cigarette smoke, guns and coffee to name a few. However, it feels sort of empty, not quite with the rest of the album. It's a strong song aimed at a certain someone, warning them that she may be a beautiful rose but she's anything but delicate, unafraid to get her thorns out, and I can't say I don't enjoy the "tough bitch" she is expressing. But for me it just falls flat and doesn't quite feel right, especially when the bridge becomes a messy demonstration of her high notes that make it difficult to hear the lyrics. It's not a bad song but it's not the best.
Coachella - Woodstock In My Mind. I've been debating about this track for a while in all fairness. It has its positives but also its unmissable negatives, and usually I just skip the track rather than debate with myself whether or not I enjoy it as much as most of her other work or not. The message is excellent, where she sings of festivals and wondering about the future generations, and I like how Lana is taking the opportunity to use her music as a message to her impressionable fans - and get them thinking too. However, it doesn't feel quite polished and finished, the trap beats too heavy and the chorus a bit messy when it layers with several vocals. It feels like a hurried track, not yet ready for release out of production. I will say though, it did have heightened meaning to me following the Manchester terror attack this year, and after the tragic event occurred I found myself listening to Coachella at a whole new angle. I just can't consistently get into it as a song itself, nor can I relate to it.
God Bless America - And All The Beautiful Women In It is yet another song that just doesn't feel right to me. I'm not saying it's bad - it's quite beautiful - but it doesn't have the same vibe that made me fall in love with Lana's music a few years ago. Of course, she changes over time, and experiments, but to me I can't quite feel like I'm listening to a Lana Del Rey album. This is the point where you take the first few tracks and realise it doesn't sound anything in the same line as them; the music itself is different, a gentle guitar strum that brings to mind ABBA each time I hear it.
To be continued
I do love all of her music but this is an *attempted* non-bias, objective (ish, it hasn’t worked, I still gush about her) review of her music from my opinion.
UPDATE: -> Complete review <-
#lana del rey#lana del rey lust for life#lana del rey lust for life review#lana del rey review#album review#lust for life review#mine#not finished#unfinished#incomplete#my opinions#i love all her music#lizzy grant#elizabeth woolridge grant#the weeknd#asap rocky#love lana del rey#lust for life song#13 beaches#cherry lana del rey#white mustang#summer bummer#playboi carti#groupie love#in my feelings#coachella - woodstock in my mind#god bless america - and all the beautiful women in it#positives and negatives
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The second ‘Klance’ of a lifetime
So here I am again. Three seasons in and I’m making yet another fanfic list. But the catch is this time it’s for a very dear friend of mine in need of a good fic list. So here we go!
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dirty paws by Dreamicide
Status: Ongoing (I check daily. It’s that good.)
Keith lives a simple, quiet life up in the mountains, until one day a cat appears on his doorstep. And then another. And another. Sometimes his neighbor's there, too. Or: in which Keith slowly finds himself the protagonist of Neko Atsume.
Shut Up and Dance With Me by wittyy_name
Status: Ongoing
Lance and his friends have been regulars at the Altea Dance Studio for years. Not just for classes, but to hang out, practice, and spend time with good people who love dancing. Every year, they audition to be one of the few representing Altea at the regional dance competition. Lance always auditions solo, but this year he misses out on auditions and blows his chance to participate. And so does his self-proclaimed rival, Keith.Luckily, Shiro comes up with a brilliant plan: convince Lance and Keith to audition as a duo.With a little convincing, and a lot of effort, these two might just be able to pull it off and go to regionals... or they might crash and burn.
Watercast by Fishwrites
Status: Ongoing (and BreaKING MY FUCKING HEART)
Shiro has been a Galra prisoner for over a year; with his flight feathers clipped and unable to fly. Desperate to escape, he jumps overboard while being transported to the capitol on a Galran ship. Lance is a merman who saves him from drowning. Keith thinks Shiro is about to become mermaid dinner. Hunk just wants Lance to stop going to the surface all the time, dammit!
(AU where Avians (winged folk), Galra, humans and merfolk cohabit earth. Shiro and Keith are avian soldiers, Lance is the youngest son of a Queen, Hunk is also a merman and Pidge is still looking for her family.)
Moth and Flame by wittyy_name
Status: Ongoing
Keith has been coming back to Altea Tattoos for months now, and it has little to do with the fact that his best friend is the piercer and more to do with the beautiful tattoo artist with talented hands and a smile that makes him weak at the knees.
Lance has had a lot of customers in his days, left his mark on plenty of people, but none so memorable as Keith. He finds himself turning to the door with every chime of the bell, hoping to see eyes like the night sky and a shy smile that could rival the moon.
When they meet at a concert, the spark between them ignites, creating a heat that’s impossible to resist. They’re both inexplicably drawn to each other. Like a moth to a flame.
White Hallways by Fernandidilly_yo
Status: Oneshot (It’s beautiful and I cried)
Keith's reaction to finding that the black lion is empty, and Shiro is gone.
Every Little Thing That You Do by biibii
Status: Oneshot
Lance is learning something new about Keith all the time. Because maybe, Lance figures, there's a softie under Keith's badass image.
Keith the Amnesiac by jilliancares
Status: Oneshot
In which an accident leaves Keith temporarily without his Voltron-filled memories and he may or may not spill a few of his better kept secrets to Lance.
nothing's quite as sweet by dimpleforyourthoughts
Status: Oneshot
Keith is a barista who hates his job. Lance works at the cat shelter across the street.
Pulsar by southspinner
Status: Ongoing
/ˈpəlˌsär/ (n.) a celestial object, thought to be a rapidly rotating neutron star, that emits regular pulses of radio waves and other electromagnetic radiation at rates of up to one thousand pulses per second.
A story about college, coming to terms with your past, being scared of your future, and running into crazy things like love somewhere in-between.
call me, beep me by orphan_account (;-;)
Status: Complete (I adore it to this day)
(00:31) Do you think she gave me the wrong number on purpose?
(00:31) Or was it a genuine mistake?
(00:32) Like maybe she writes funny and I misread it?
(00:32) Some of the numbers do look a little dodgy...
(00:33) Cause, you know, her threes could very easily be poorly formed eights? And maybe she writes her sevens like her ones?
(00:45) What
(00:46) The
(00:46) Fuck???
(00:47) Oh good, you are awake!
Homesick at Space Camp by K0bot
Status: Complete
Lance realizes he's been an asshole to Keith, and on a diplomatic mission to a key planet for the Voltron alliance he... overcompensates.
Nightmares by Trashness
Status: Oneshot
Lance's nightmares are getting out of control. It's effecting his and the team's performance, but he's at a loss for how to fix this.Apparently sleeping next to a warm body helps.
high tide, incoming by kojondo
Status: Oneshot
It starts like this: They’re sitting across from each other at a table in the local burger joint, tossing casual banter and the occasional insult back and forth. It’s familiar and comfortable, reminiscent of every other conversation they’ve ever had, until out of nowhere Lance leans forward and says with a mouth full of fries, “Let’s date.”
you're so sweet; will you be mine? by jojotxt
Status: Oneshot
A new bakery pops up right across the street from Lance's bakery.
. . .
In which Lance is an idiot, Keith is an asshole, and Pidge is the next Dr. Phil.
you never stood a chance by kagshina (love your username btw)
Status: Oneshot
lance to hunk ♡
>i’m gonna fukin die hunk oh mygod i sent
>keith a work out selfie that i wan supposed to fcukin send to you and you know what it said
>”BET YOU WANNA LICK THESE NIPS”
>HUNK I WILL NEVE BE ABLE TO FCE HIM AGAIN I WANT TO DI E(Or, Keith is beautiful, Lance has a crush, and there's lots of shirtless selfies)
A Commutual Contract by SKayLanphear
Status: Ongoing (IvE BEEN WAITiNG SO LONG! its rlly good tho pls read it and give the author nice comments)
After a terrifying experience during which Lance, seemingly, dies, Keith is haunted by horrible nightmares of holding his comrade in his arms while he took his final breath. To the point where he can't sleep unless he knows for absolute certain that Lance is alive. And while the attention is surprising, Lance doesn't really have a problem with Keith checking up on him. Or the fact that Keith only seems totally comforted when he can cuddle Lance close and hear his heart beat. After all, there's nothing wrong with two bros cuddling. It doesn't MEAN anything. Or, at least, that's what Lance keeps telling himself.
Honey & Lemon by DylanOhbrien
Status: Oneshot
Keith has one rule: keep any interaction with a customer terse and professional. It's a rule he's strictly followed since he's started working at Shiro's shop.
Then Lance walks through the door and Keith thows professionalism right out the window, along with any semblance of dignity he had left.
Voltrain by arialsal
Status: Oneshot
Lance continued anyway, “At least I realized it, though. I realized I wasn’t staying after hours with you just to make sure I clean up better than you do, and I wasn’t looking after the rodents on day’s you were away to prove I could do it better. I did it because I have the fucking hots for some dumb rodent trainer with an even dumber mullet and a smile that could destroy me.”
-A Voltron: Legendary Defender Pet Store AU in which Keith realizes Lance's childish rivalry with him in the store means more to him than he'd like to admit.
I Found Love by thesearchingastronaut, WindyWordz
Status: Ongoing
Keith is just trying to live his life as a freelance illustrator with his cat, keeping up with bills by having two part-time jobs.But when he keeps bumping into Mr. Tall, Tan, & Handsome after a music event at his bar, well, maybe he's willing to make time for pretty, blue eyes and a laugh like silver bells.
Dancing With Blunette by BleuSarcelle
Status: Complete
He didn’t have an epiphany or a vision during his dreams that told him that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Lance.
Honestly, it only took a soft bright smile from Lance during one lazy afternoon after his boyfriend had come home from work and started dancing around their living room with a grumpy Blunette on his arms from being woken up from her cat nap.
That’s when he knew.
(The one where Keith wants to propose to his boyfriend and almost has a heart attack.) (Then the other one where Lance proposes back and Keith cries.) (The following one where they both cry because wedding make you cry.) (And that last one where they adopt.)
Hello Meithman by archaicsextoy (I...love your name too)
Status: Ongoing
Red escapes from Keith's apartment only for his super unfairly attractive neighbor to bring her back.
#ayyyyy I'm back at it#fic list#klance#klance of a lifetime#i can add more but for now im ded#i tried so hard prom#please love these#keith (voltron)#lance (voltron)#keith kogane#lance mcclain#fanfics
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Cactus, Part III
Here we go! This one was fun to write.
Cactus, Part III
Summary: This is it. Harry/Jamie
Warnings: There’s some past family unpleasantness, but hopefully it shouldn’t put anyone off. It’s not specific.
This might be Harry’s favorite thing.
Her head was in his lap, his fingers idly winding a platinum spiral around one knuckle. She looked relaxed and peaceful, humming softly along with the most recent mix of Sweet Creature. The song came to an end and-
The Jurassic Park theme suddenly rent the peaceful, almost contemplative moment. She briefly looked panicked and mouthed sorry.
He shrugged. “Answer it. Go on.”
She dug the phone out of the back pocket of her jeans and smiled, answering it and hitting speaker. “Hello, Gorgeous George.”
Harry frowned. Who the fuck is Gorgeous George?
“Hey Mama. You still in Jamaica?”
“Si, Señor.”
Harry smiled down at her and mouthed, Who’s that?
My brother.
He tried not to audibly sigh in relief. The tattoo artist?
She shook her head. A different brother.
“Dom Hooper, from that rehab charity you like, wants to know if you’d be available for a charity gig in LA in November.”
She pulled up the calendar in her iPad. “What day?”
“The 16th. You guys would be like one of five acts with a short, five or six song set.”
“Let me check. We’ll be recording in LA by then so it shouldn’t be t-” She laughed. “The boss is nodding. Should be fine.”
“Alright. I’ll check with your boys.”
“I’m her boy too.” Harry leaned closer to the phone. “I want t’come.”
Her brother chuckled. “It think that can be arranged. Harry, yeah?”
“Tha’s me. George?”
“Jorge. Only my sister calls me George. She keepin’ ya outta trouble?”
Harry laughed. “Yeh don’t know yer sister, mate.”
“That’s fair.”
She huffed. “For the record, I call you Gorgeous George. Not just George. That’s so pedestrian.”
“Well then... I’m so sorry, princess. My mistake.”
“Damn fuckin’ straight.” Her brother chuckled. “Goodbye, brother dearest.”
“Adios, chica. Talk to ya later.”
“Te amo.”
“Te amo.”
Harry smiled. “He seems nice.”
“He’s a pain in the ass really.”
**
She was glorious. Absolutely glorious.
Mitch elbowed him, snorting under his breath.
She was smiling and waving at them. Harry grinned and waved back, catching the kiss she was blowing them as she ducked under her guitar strap.
Harry honestly didn’t know how he was going to survive this. Her playing his music was enough, but her playing her own music wearing that dress and those boots. Shit, if she didn’t seem to know exactly what he liked.
Jesus.
She tested her pedals and then managed a graceful kneel to check a connection. She stood carefully, one hand holding the stiff, grey lace of her skirt down. Absentmindedly, her fingers ghosted over the angel tattooed in brilliant color on her thigh as she turned to her drummer.
He really needed to get control of himself or this was only going to get harder.
The drummer, an exceptionally cool, black man, made a face. “Dolores.”
“Yes, mi hermano querido.” She grinned against her mic. “Can I help you?”
“That dress is short, little sister.”
“Little, my ass.” She flicked him off. “I’m older than you.” The crowd laughed and she turned over her shoulder as if she had just remembered they were there. “Oh hey.”
Dante made a face. “So? You’re also about a foot too short to be popping off at the mouth like that. Short… kinda like your dress.”
She stuck her tongue out at him. “Me vale madre, hermanito.”
“You don’t kiss our mother with that mouth, d’ya?” Wait were they really related?
“Simmer down, ya two.” The lead singer, stepped up to his mic and smiled, roguish and more than a little hipster. “Hey y’all! I’m Matt Reeve, behind me on the electric guitar is Jamie Schwartz, on bass we have Tommy Lazert, and last but not least Dante Schwartz on the drums. We’re Spike and Devil.”
They were more Southern than Harry had been honestly been expecting, but excellent and fun to watch. They toed a fine line between the wailing psychedelic ‘60s guitar riffs that Jamie preferred and obviously excelled in and the softer blue-grassy strumming and plucking that Matt showcased.
She somehow managed to be dignified and dare he say it, lady-like, while shredding a guitar like Slash in a dress short enough that if she turned the wrong way the entire club would know what color her knickers were. Harry had done his fair share of performing and he really didn’t know how she had managed it.
She was glorious.
Thirty minutes later, they left the stage and Harry and Mitch skirted the edges of the room to meet her at the door to the green room without attracting too much attention.
Said door swung open, Jamie popping out first followed by her brother. She lit up their little corner of the club as she threw her arms open for them.
“Hey boys!”
Mitch hugged her briefly but Harry wrapped himself around her and popped her off her suede-booted feet. “Ye’re a little monster! Yeh did so good! Fookin’ incredible!”
She giggled. “Thanks! You had fun?”
Mitch nodded but Harry refused to let her go for another half-minute or so. When he let her down, she turned to her brother. “This is my brother, Dante.” She smiled. “Dante, this is Mitch and Harry.”
Mitch shook his hand, followed by Harry, who chose to keep his free hand in the small of her back.
“Nice t’meet yeh.”
Dante grinned. “Likewise, bro. Dolores has told me a lot about you guys.”
She frowned at him. “You’re a shithead.”
Harry nodded. “I was meaning to ask you about that.”
She scoffed. “Dante is angry with me for running off one of his ‘girlfriends’ quien era una perra de todos modos.”
He laughed and shook her head. “No. Ella no fue.”
“Sí que estaba. Ella te estaba engañando.”
“You still have no proof.”
“The fuck I don’t.”
Harry made a face and looked at Mitch looked impressed and vaguely afraid. Mitch tried for a chuckle.
Harry grinned. “So how many brothers do you have, love? Everytime you mention a brother, it’s a different one.”
She grinned, blushing. “Yeah our family is a bit complicated. I have five brothers. Jorge, who you talked to, is the oldest followed by Freddy, the tattoo artist. They are our parents’ only biological kids. The two middle kids, Leo and Ryan, Dante and I, we were all adopted.”
Dante smiled and pulled his sister into a one-armed hug. “We’re the babies.”
Harry smiled. “Shall we go get drinks?”
“Yeah. Let’s.”
They made their way to a reserved table and got comfortable, Jamie fitting nicely in between Harry and Dante.
“So Dolores…”
She elbowed her brother and huffed, turning to Harry. “Yes, Harold?”
He grinned. “Why don’t you use your name, love? Dolores is pretty.”
She shook her head. “No it isn’t! It means ‘sorrow’.”
Dante shrugged. “Seems appropriate. You’ve been nothing but trouble since you were three years old.”
“Asshole.” She turned to face Harry fully. “I don’t like ‘Dolores’.”
Harry nodded. “I gather that. Why?”
She smiled. “My birth mother named me that right before she fucked off to wherever she went. My mom hated it but by the time we got adopted, it was too late to really change it.”
His heart clenched and he laid his arm over the couch behind her, gathering her closer to his side. His other hand came up to rub a thumb over her angel. “Sorry, monster. That sucks.” When she shrugged, he smiled down at her. “Where did Jamie come from?”
“My original last name was James. My mom thought Jamie would be a cute nickname.”
“It is.” He set his chin on her shoulder. “Yeh said ‘we got adopted’. Did yeh and Dante get adopted at the same time?”
Nodding, she smiled and elbowed her brother again. “We were in the same state home… I’m barely a month older than him and our respective shit went down around the same time, so we got placed in the system about the same time. My dad is a social worker and Dante was in his workload, but whenever he went to see Dante, Dante would scream until Dad promised that he’d find me a family too. My dad kinda fell in love with us and though they hadn’t intended to adopt anymore kids, I guess he couldn’t help himself. He introduced Mom to us and the rest is history.”
Harry smiled and Dante made gagging noises behind her.
“He pretends but he loves me.”
Harry’s thumb was still rubbing against her thigh. “Is the angel fer yer mum?”
She nodded, looking down at his hand. “Her name is Angelica. Seemed appropriate.” She looked up and caught his eye. They both froze, the tension suddenly thick. “She cried when I showed it her.”
“First tattoo?”
She chuckled, eyes still locked on his. “Yeah. She doesn’t seem to mind them nowadays.”
He looked down at her lips. “Yeah.”
Harry caught Dante’s smile over his sister’s head and like that the spell was broken. Blushing, she turned to ask Mitch something.
Eventually she wandered off to talk to someone and Dante slid over to him. He sipped his beer and grinned. “Look I’m not gonna give you any ‘touch her you die’ bullshit. She’s well-protected without getting my nose all up in it and I don’t think you’re a bad dude. I don’t think you’ll ever want to hurt her. Not on purpose.
“But man, I’m warnin’ ya. She’s… She’s naive sometimes. She’s an angel. She always sees the good in people and despite the shit that she’s seen, she’s an optimist like I’ve never seen before. Maybe I’m biased because she’s my sister and my best friend but I don’t think you gonna be able to walk away from her all that easily. You should keep that in mind before you start anything you may not want to finish.”
**
Harry set his notebook down by her thigh and sat next to her on the couch. “I’ve got somethin’... new.”
She smiled. “Cool! Let’s hear it.”
He blushed and rubbed his hands on his jeans.
She frowned and grabbed his hand. “What’s wrong? You’re not normally this nervous to share what you’ve written.”
He laughed and lifted her hand to his lips, pressing a quick kiss to her knuckle. “I spent all night on it. It’s probably shit.”
“Doubt it.” She smiled and pat his leg with her free hand. “Do you want me to keep time?”
He nodded. “Yeah, that would be helpful. It’s uh… 4/4.”
She counted it out and he took another deep breath and began, feeling a bit like he was digging himself a hole.
“Open up your eyes, shut your mouth and see
That I'm still the only one who's been in love with me
I'll guess I'll be getting you stuck in between my teeth
And there's nothing I can do about it.”
He snuck a peek at her and she seemed to enjoying the song, smiling slightly, her eyes closed like she was imagining it.
“Broke a finger knocking on your bedroom door
I got splinters in my knuckles crawling across the floor
Couldn't take you home to mother in a skirt that short
But I think that's what I like about it.”
He licked his lips and smiled, glancing at her again, now she was looking at him, her tilted in confusion. He swallowed dryly. “The chorus is:”
“She's an angel
Only angel
She's an angel
My only angel”
“There’d be some fun… uh vocalization. Not sure what yet. The next verse goes:”
“I must admit I thought I'd like to make you mine
As I went about my business through the warning signs
End up meeting in the hallway every single time
And there's nothing we can do about it.
Told it to her brother and she told it to me
That she's gonna be angel, just you wait and see
When it turns out she's a devil in between the sheets
And there's nothing she can do about it.”
He nodded. “And that it. Of course, there’d be a guitar solo and um…” He sighed. “What do you think?”
She swallowed. “First, I want to say that I like the song. I can see how this one would be fun to perform. I look forward to hearing the finished product.”
He held his breath. “And second?”
She took a deep breath. “Is it…” She paused and eyed him. “This is going to sound stupid. Is it about me? I mean-” She stuttered. “I mean with the angel references and you’re so nervous and.. the sk-”
He leaned forward and kissed her, words failing him the way they normally did.
This….this was what he wanted. She must have just put on chapstick, her lips felt smooth and tasted vaguely sweet. His hand, the one that hadn’t been clutching hers for dear life, slid back in her hair, those curls tangling around his fingers like they didn’t want him to leave.
She gasped, hand coming up to grasp his shirt. He tried to keep it chaste, really but when he nipped lightly at her lip, intending to pull away, to use his words like a grown-ass man, she let out a stuttering moan and he was lost yet again.
He pressed forward and the hand in her hair, sliding across her back to her opposite hip. She came willingly closer and he groaned into her mouth.
She’s naive.
He pulled away and kissed her forehead. He took a second to collect himself but she beat him to it.
“I…” She sounded a little breathless and he had to beat back savage pride, the likes of which he’d never experienced before. “I don’t want to make you crawl... well I might be... in certain circumstances...” She blushed and Harry chuckled as she waved that thought off. “The point is: I’m no angel… but I don’t think I’m a devil either… I just don’t want somethin’ to happen if that’s what you think of me. I don’t want somethin’ to happen if you feel like you’re doing something despite ‘warning signs.’ I don’t-”
Harry laid his finger against her lips.
“Yeh are an angel.” He smiled softly and nodded. “Yeh are, love. Ye’re sweet and kind. And yeah ye’re a little kinky and if that doesn’t make yeh absolutely the most interestin’ woman on earth...” She shook her head, laughing softly. “Also I don’t think ye’re… evil or some man-eater or summat, I swear. That’s not what the ‘warning signs’ were about. Just tha’ whatever this is… It’s not gonna be easy.” He swallowed. “The paps and the media alone drive normal, sane women mad.”
She chuckled, they still weren’t looking at each other as if they were afraid that they wouldn’t be able to say these words if they were. “This is technically inappropriate office behavior.”
He scoffed. “I’m sure ye’ve seen more inappropriate things in this line of work. This is hardly on t’map, love.”
“So what is this?”
“I don’t know… But whatever it is, I want it as long as you want it too.”
She took a deep breath. “Okay, then.”
Part II
Up Next: Part IV
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Review: BLACK MIRROR Season 4 (Part I - Episodes 1 & 2)
New Post has been published on https://nofspodcast.com/review-black-mirror-season-4-part-episodes-1-2/
Review: BLACK MIRROR Season 4 (Part I - Episodes 1 & 2)
Black Mirror Season 4 dropped on December 29th, on Netflix.
SPOILER-FREE REVIEW:
Watch it. Oh my God, watch it.
Now, then; Spoilers ahead.
EPISODE 1: USS CALLISTER
The aspect ratio of the opening sequence matches the aspect ratio of the old Star Trek television show. It’s little things like that keep my coffee hot and get me up in the morning.
“USS Callister” really tells two stories: the first is the tale of a loser computer programmer named Robert Daly, who’s created a groundbreaking Virtual-Reality-based game that lets people fly around the universe in spaceships, explore planets, battle each other trade, etcetera. The guy he started the company with is a dick who doesn’t appreciate his contributions to the company. His coworkers think he’s weird and awkward and kinda creepy sometimes.
The second story is that of a sadistic and cruel God named Robert Daly. Daly has created a parallel Virtual Reality that allows him to play out his fantasies of being a Hero in Charge, based on a retro science-fiction television show he loves. (Think Star Trek.)
The twist of the knife is that he has peopled this game with digital copies of coworkers he dislikes, generated by stolen samples of their DNA. They have all their memories and personalities from the real world. They are sentient, thinking and feeling as their real-world selves.
What “USS Callister” asks us is (among many other things), are they alive?
Not that episode one is all scowling and torment. Brooker mentioned that Black Mirror would ‘explore a little more comedy in this season’, and there is certainly a strong heartbeat of humor here. It’s the best kind of laughter, too, for the series: black humor. Hangman’s jokes. The dry British chuckle in the face of the abyss.
Watching the tortured, terrified digital clones of the USS Callister unwind while Daly is logged out of the game reminds one of London in the Blitz. Sure, there are bombs and blood and rubble everywhere, and things are pretty awful, but at least the bottles behind the bar survived.
When the newest digital clone, Cristin (played by Nanette Cole) finds out that nobody has genitals in Daly’s digital world, her battle cry is priceless:
Okay. Stealing my pussy is a red. Fucking. Line.
“USS Callister” is like a great Doctor Who episode that just happens to be Rated R.
When the trailers for Season 4 dropped, the teaser for “USS Callister” left out the real world entirely. It was a move of twofold genius. First, it saves the surprise of our first, bleak glimpse of the real world. Our introduction to neurotic weirdo Daly (an absolutely stunning performance by Jesse Plemons) feels like a nihilistic sigh of relief. It doesn’t have to be full dark 24/7, but there’s something in the uncompromising, unblinking hardness of Black Mirror that has always set it apart. A certain bleak jouissance that no other show delivers.
Second, it works as a commentary on the episode itself. In our little taste of “USS Callister,” the real world isn’t there at all. The trailer promises pure sci-fi. Pure escapism. Fun. Adventure. There’s no trace of the sinister sadism of Daly, or the suffering of his comrades. There’s no sense of true tragedy or actual stakes.
Just like the immersive, next-gen VR in the episode.
“Callister” examines the more disturbing elements of the AI and VR booms we’re seeing right now. Ten years from now, if we have a bad day, put on our VR headsets, and kill a hundred digital people in Call of Duty online, what will that mean? In a world where code is ever-improving, at what point is a program as nuanced and multifaceted as us? We don’t feel anything drowning Sims or making them wet themselves…but should we? If not today, when? At what point does simulated suffering cease to be Catharsis and become Sadism?
With the advent of technology like CRISPR, perhaps we aren’t so far from Daly’s nightmare after all.
EPISODE 2: ARKANGEL
The obvious big-gun episode of the season is “Arkangel.” There’re no scrubs in the directorial talent of Black Mirror, but Jodie Foster (four Oscar nominations, two wins, Silence of the Lambs, ‘nuff said) is clearly the Heavy Hitter.
She swung for the fences.
She knocked it out of the park.
I don’t even like baseball.
“Arkangel” tells the story of a mother and daughter. When her daughter Sara (Aniya Hodge, Sara Abbot, and Brenna Harding) goes missing, Marie (Rosemarie DeWitt, Cinderella Man, Mad Men) has a monitoring system implanted in Sara’s head. It’s called “Arkangel,” and gives Marie access to Sara’s location, biological vitals, and even a direct feed from her optic nerve. Marie can see what Sara sees.
But “Arkangel” isn’t really about the creepy sci-fi stuff. None of the best episodes of Black Mirror are, and this is one of the best in the series. No. “Arkangel” is about what happens as Sara grows up. It’s about the Helicopter Parents of the future. About how far Marie will go to keep her safe, and how much of herself she’ll compromise to do it.
And the inevitable price to be paid.
The brilliance of Foster’s episode is (to borrow from Blake), its fearful symmetry. Its balance. Each element dances with another, each character reflected darkly in the actions of others. Sara and the all-seeing eye in her head are like a weight in the center of the episode. On one side is Marie and her Orwellian baby monitor. On the other is Trick (a superb performance by Own Teague), the Cute Drug Dealer from the Wrong Side of the Tracks, and all the rebellion and danger he represents.
Every line, every interaction in the episode shifts that weight, tilts the precarious position of the scale. Structurally, it’s breathtakingly beautiful. There is no wasted moment.
I don’t know whether to give the nod to Brooker (who has sole writing credit on the episode) or Foster for the delicate dance of these threads. The interplay between the writing and directing style is an elegant pas de deux, each word and element circling the others, and pulling the weave ever tighter.
Brooker understands Irony in a way that few shows do, and utilizes it like the keen, heartrending edge that it can be. And he knows Tragedy. The Capital-T kind that the Greeks told us so much about, all those years ago. He knows it intimately. Knows that the key to Tragedy is Hamaratia: the Fatal Flaw.
There are several Fatal Flaws in “Arkangel.” They run (appropriately) in arcs through the episode. Tracing those threads back reveals the subtlety and nuance Foster and Brooker actually manage.
Almost everything Marie does throughout the episode is countered or echoed elsewhere: when she reactivates the Arkangel unit in Sara’s teens, she sees her having sex with Trick, the “Dangerous Bad Boy.” Yet, that same night, she met up with one of her patients from physical therapy: a devil-may-care biker who injured himself driving his motorcycle recklessly, and shows no signs of slowing down.
Marie sees Sara experimenting with cocaine in Trick’s van. The effect of the drug is that it raises Sara’s heart rate. A few days later, Marie grinds some drugs into Sara’s morning smoothie. The effect of drugging her daughter is the spontaneous abortion of a pregnancy Sara didn’t even know about.
It’s ironic that Marie should confront Trick, condemning him as “a junkie.” Throughout the episode, Marie treats the Arkangel parent unit as a junkie treats drugs. She hides the unit upstairs, laments over whether to use it or not. Okay, just this one more time. Uses it just a little. Just a few functions. Starts carrying it with her. It’s clear that she’s addicted to it.
There’s even a brilliant reversal of the classic “Parent finds drugs in the kid’s room” scene, where Sara rifles her mother’s room and discovers that she’s still using the Arkangel parent unit. Sara is horrified and tosses it down, the perfect picture of a parent discovering their child’s dangerous addiction.
Marie is the first victim of Arkangel, and in her victimhood, she stands for all of us. I don’t mean the program itself. I’m talking about the sentiment behind it. Beneath the eerie veneer of the invasive surveillance of tomorrow, “Arkangel” is quietly commenting on something we’re experiencing today.
Safety. In excess. In extremis.
The opening scene of the episode doesn’t just establish the characters and set the stage. It holds up a mirror. Marie is giving birth: after complications during natural birth, the doctor is performing a C-section. “Arkangel” opens with Marie looking away from the things that frighten her: the doctors, the nurse, the procedure she’s undergoing. When Sara is finally born, the doctors whisk her away to a table nearby. There is no sound. No cry. Other doctors gather, and Marie becomes afraid: afraid her baby is dead, that she’s lost her little girl, and is powerless to help.
“Tell me she’s alright,” she says.
The nurse holds her hand, tells her to calm down. Comforts her. Then Sara cries and is brought over, and she’s fine, and everything is fine. We get the sort of close-up maternal scene we’re accustomed to seeing when babies are born on television. Lots of nuzzling and happy tears and lifelong bonds being wound between mother and child.
And then, brilliantly, brutally, honestly, Foster shows us what we seldom see these days, too busy cooing over the microcosm and the close-up.
She shows us the big picture.
On one side of the curtain, Marie is bonding with her little girl. Her daughter is alive and well. Everything is fine. Nurses smile and nod and congratulate her. And on the other side of the curtain, her body is open and bloody. Doctors work quietly to stop the bleeding and make her whole again. Though a routine procedure, Marie has experienced massive trauma, could conceivably die if things go wrong…but she’ll never know. The sheet protects her. She doesn’t feel a thing: the doctors have numbed her to the trauma she’s experiencing. All that’s left is bliss.
(By the by, I’m not suggesting we force new mothers to watch surgeries performed on them without anesthetic. I’m not a monster. I am an observer of metaphors.)
The “parental control” of the Arkangel unit is obviously the darkest, most troubling of the sci-fi elements of the episode, but it raises some interesting questions about what safety might mean, in the long-term.
When Sara’s grandfather has a heart attack, she can’t see what’s happening to him, and can’t hear his pleas for her to get help. She’s shielded from the trauma by the unit. But there’s a parallel in our world, here: if we crumble in the face of fear and trauma, shutting down and closing it out, refusing to look, what are the consequences of that willful blind eye?
Later, as Marie grieves over her father’s grave, Sara can’t see her mother’s face. Grief is uncomfortable. It has been censored out.
Again, there are real considerations for us in the real world. If we turn our backs on grief and powerful, negative human emotions because they make us uncomfortable, what does that mean? The end of empathy? A society that must grieve alone and uncomforted, with no community to feel and grieve with us, no strength to be lent to us because we are, in our sadness, upsetting?
Just something to think about.
Sara’s grandfather speaks for some us, after Marie has the Arkangel implanted in Sara’s head:
“I remember when we used to open up the door and let the kids be.”
It provokes an interesting thought. The difference between opening a door and a locked one can be the difference between a home and a prison. Between a conversation and a censure is the difference between a parent and a warden.
And once you’ve escaped a prison, why would you ever go back?
Overall
There’s a common thread between “USS Callister” and “Arkangel.”
Hope.
When Cristin and company break out of Daly’s digital world, they have a whole new universe to explore. They’re in charge of their own destinies again. They have free will, and the will to live.
Once Sara escapes her mother’s smothering safety, she has a whole world to explore. She’s free, finally, with her whole life ahead of her.
Watching these two episodes, I noticed something for the first time. In the opening credits of Black Mirror, just before the screen goes dark, and we stare into the black possibilities of the onrushing technological age…
The Black Mirror always cracks. The mirror Brooker holds up is not impervious. We can escape.
There’s always hope.
#black humor#black mirror#Brooker#charlie brooker#emmy#horror#horror 2017#horror 2018#horror news#horror review#horror tv#humor#jodie foster#netflix#new horror#oscar#sci-fi#scifi#Season 4#tv
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