gay celebratory doodle for my first time playing co-op, beating malenia, and finishing the entire game in 10 hours on call w my friend

hey tumblr friends sorry for being gone today some really shitty things happened

Between you and Me... ~cp.4

Armin x reader...

Chapter tw: Afab! reader, alcohol, tension, drug mention and pills, drug use, cursing, fighting, blood, heaving makeout session, mention of butt grabbing, hickey, being drunk.

word count: 4.2k

story context: your newly broken up with jean and he won't leave you alone. You start to "date" Armin to get jean off your back, but during this fake relationship you start to develop feeling for him—your relationship with Armin becomes a bit...confusing. No other then any other relationships yours and armin's has its ups and downs but maybe it will turn into the real thing...

On your walk back to your dorm your grab your phone to look at the time only to realize your phone had been off the whole time. After armin had turned off you phone you haven't bothered to check it again, turning on your phone to see almost 50+ messages from jeans which you don't bother to give the time of day and 5 miss calls from sasha and 2 from pieck. Immediately you tap sashas contact and return the call in which you were only scolded for having your phone off and not seeing her at all today.

She told you how jean had the audacity to come by the dorm and ask for you. You couldnt believe it when she had said it— he had no right to do so and had the nerve to berate your character in front of her. 

You get to your building and open your door to see sasha tapping her foot at her door.

“Where have you been all day?!”

“With armin…” with a guilty tone

She dramatically throws herself on the couch “ i ve been worried sick all day about you, and you were just snuggling up with armin.” you divert your eyes in different direction but she was spot on with that assumption. But sasha was on to use dramatics but you havent seen her in a whole 24 hours and she is a protective person. You never bothered to even send her a text this whole time to your best friend— but her reaction was less than you anticipated. “Im sorry sasha i was just really caught up and i know i should have texted you i just-” 

“I know i know its ok, to be honest i knew that you were with armin so you were ok.”

was armin was your safe space?…he had always been.

You fall on the couch onto her and entrap her into a hug and shower her with i love you’s. Till now, you realize how you had taken sasha for granted—she had been there for you almost everyday, one of your rocks since middle school-till now and you needed to change. “Hey are you gonna go to the party at the frat tomorrow?” you get up and lay yourself at the hem of the couch “Of Course i'm gonna go, I need something to distract myself, finales are absolutely kicking my ass right now.” she groaned with her head in her hands rocking back and forth. Giggling at her dramatics and she kicks your leg in response.

“Alrighty i'm gonna go to bed night” 

“goodnight..”

She disappears into her room while your phone rings— a text from armin asking if you got back to your room safely, you answer with a quick yes. Anytime you’d see his name in notifications you couldn't help but feel smiley inside — you and armin had such a beautiful friendship, would you even dare to risk that for a relationship? You had the urge to suppress these feelings for him while another part of you wanted to be his.

It made you think about how during this whole “relationship” with him had only made your feelings for him grow stronger for him. Just wishing that these felling would subside but they wont. A chance that he liked you back would be slim— but sometimes he gives you a look that gives you little hope that he would reciprocate these feelings.

You told him that you were going to bed and exchanged goodnights with him. As you got ready for bed you start thinking, was this relationship still partly to get back at jean or for your own selfish reasons? Thats a thought you decided to sleep on as you slipped under your sheets and slowly faded into sleep.

…………………

You woke up that morning and slept in till 10:00, the first thing you checked was your phone to see a text from sasha at 9 saying she left to help set up. You sat up in your bed and just thought for a good two minutes about what you're gonna do today. This happens a lot. You just zone out and think— and you think about your cafe date with armin, reminiscing on the coffee that you got and craving it in this moment.

After a good few minutes you get out of bed and do your usual routine: brush your teeth, make breakfast, all of that kind of stuff. As you're going to your room to eat your bagel in your room — you sit on your bed and open your side drawer when you spot a small bag of pills. You’d forgotten you had these, last semester you used pills to help pull late nighters to study . They helped you focus, but take too much and they put you in a daze, you're alone — what harm would they really do? you pop three of them in your mouth and lay down on you bed and start eating. 

After a few minutes they finally kicked in— you could feel yourself dizzy with your vision getting a bit distorted. You just felt a wave a ecstasy or waves, they came every few minutes when they came it felt like strong. You became hypersensitive to everything around you, aware of all of your surroundings. Barley being able to sit up — you reach for your phone and press to call one of your latest contacts.

“Hello?”

“Hey there connie…how are you?”

You say with a slurred tone of voice “Are you ok? You sound weird.” after he said that you got up from your bed and stumbled around your room “why wouldn't i be ok” you laugh through the sentence. Connie has seen you in this state before and can recognize the way you speak. Another wave had just hit you and felt nothing — as if you weren't there anymore, in a different state of mind. 

“Yo are you high right now…”

You gave a bit of time to answer his question — trying to find a way to change your tone “no.” 

“Thats bullshit.” 

You lose balance and fall to the ground, the loud thump probably made connie nervous because you hear the murmurs of him yelling but only being able to make out a few words like coming until you hear him hang up. You fall back onto he floor and lay down and stare up at the ceiling, just thinking about if he was coming to get you. You didnt want connie to come — you wanted armin to come, the pill made you think really hard and you thought really hard about him which was a big downside, he had such a weird effect on you — like a trance. If you thought about him, you thought about him for what it felt like 30 minutes.

As you were lost in thought, you heard the door open “y/n?'' You peered the the door frame and you saw armin with a worried expression on his face. It's like a genie had answered your wish as he walked towards you and scoped you off the floor bridal style and sits you on the bed “armin” he gets up from the bed “just wait here il be back in a second.” he rushes towards the kitchen and pours you a drink of water, grabs tylenol and then comes back to the room.

He positions the cup towards your mouth so that you can drink, you finish the water and he places it down on his side “do you feel better?” You nod your head in response. You slip your arms between armins arms and go to lay down on his chest while he falls back “arminnn” you whine, he wraps one arm around you “i got too high” pouting while looking up at him — he laughs at your delirious state. 

“Yea i can tell” he says while still laughing, you reached up and caressed his face with your thumb for a seconds then reached up into his hair and ran your fingers through “so soft”. Armin didnt seem to mind — you were coming down from high and starting to become more stable, armin grabbed his phone for a second “oh we gotta get ready” he sat up and went to grab his phone. 

The party

You’d been completely out of it you forgot about all about the party, you just barley got up from your bed and got one of your short silk baby blue dress out of your closet that you have been saving for a special moment. You slip the dress on and it fit you like a glove, you grab you favorite gold earrings and put them on. You tried your hardest to quickly do your makeup without it looking bad and meticulously picked a pair of sliver strap heels and walk out of the room.

“So…how do i look?”

Armin who had been on his phone look at you in awe.

“ you look so…beautiful.” he gets up from the couch with his eyes fixated on you — with a smile on your face. He extends his arm towards your face only for him to grab a jacket behind you and place it on your shoulders “ so you don't get cold.” He extends his arm toward you and you grab onto his arm. “Thank you.” 

As you two left the building — both of you could spot the people on the porch and hear the loud music echoing throughout campus. As you both approach the porch seeing people drinking and dancing, the flashing lights filled the room as you walk into the room with armin you were able to spot mikasa, eren, sasha and jean — standing there with them. Quickly armins hand grabs your hip as you two walk towards them, the atmosphere turns awkward. The plan that's you had come up with last night had come to mind.

You greet the whole group but not jean, when it came to it you just stared for a second and looked away. He had anger and hurt in his eyes when he looked at you—it made you upset but when he looked at armin all he had was anger in his eyes. You can feel the hostility between them which you caused. “um im gonna go get a drink, do you want anything?” armin whispers in your ear which sends a tingle down your spine. You shake your head no and then he leaves, initially you planned to keep distance from Jean as you didnt want to cause a scene—but you had no choice in a big group of friends.

You can see people start to pull bottles out of the coolers and cabinets and get shot cups “ Damn there starting the game without me” he laughs and walks over the island and grabs jean along with him “what game?” you question “its just a stupid game to see who can drink the most and not get drunk.” the voice came from behind you which made you jump and mikasa and sasha turn around only to see it was ymir and historia, u guess you were so busy talking to sasha and mikasa you didn't notice them come in. “ i didn't know you guys were coming tonight.” mikasa's states “ we thought it would be fun to come tonight.” historia gives a warm smile.

Ymir wraps her arm around your neck and leans down “ are you ok, yk with the jean thing and everything.”  

“ ‘m yea it's just he was being a dick and all no big deal.” 

She nods as squeezes you a bit, then armin comes back with the drinks—he had been gone for quite a long time but you didn't really realize because you had been talking to the girls for a long time. He hands you your drink, when you take a sip you can taste lemonade with a slightly bitter taste. This was a party after all so you didn't doubt the idea that they mixed them together “ hey what took so long? ” you lean close “ oh sorry i was talking to reiner and bertholdt in the kitchen i guess i got caught up.” his tone was low and you could barely make it out over the loud music that was playing.

“ Hey will you come to the kitchen to get something with me?” mikasa comes up to you and whispers — you nod and both move through the crowd of people dancing and made your way to then kitchen. Apparently the drinking game had just finished as the kitchen became less crowded and you could see jean and eren leaving the kitchen and a guy slumped over on the counter “ he's gonna feel that in the morning.” you both giggle at the state of a random guy.

As you and mikasa were about to leave the kitchen you hear yelling, you didnt pay much mind to it until you recognized the voices — jean and armin — they were arguing with each other. They accumulated a crowd around them, you walk towards them and there muffled yells become more clear.

“ YOUR FUCKING DRUNK JEAN, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOUR SAYING.”

Coming to the front of the crowd with mikasa following suit, once you came into view of jean you saw his expression change. All of his focus had shifted from armin to you. “ And you, leaving me for this piece of shit?!” shouting across the room which leads people to stare at you. This is the hallway all over again. “Dont fucking start with me jean,dot act all innocent when you know what you did!” you’d become angry, angry that's this was happening again— as if he was the one who got hurt in this situation and he was going to paint you as the villain.

“Oh stop playing around, your telling me that you didn’t cheat on me with armin?! Cause the timeline is pretty damn close.”

Seriously, he wants to do that?

“ Do you wanna talk about the text messages with that girl I found on your phone during our relationship, cause they were pretty fucked up if you ask me ?!” 

That sentence clearly caught him by surprise, he was embarrassed for a second— you could hear the murmurs of the crowd and your friends expressions change. So focused on trying to suppress your tears and the people around. Jean took a step forward — about to walk towards you until armin grabbed his shoulders to stop him. In a blink of an eye, jean had swung at armin. Right in the jaw, it made armin stumble back but he had sung back, you could see the camera flash and yelling of the crowd.

the two of them had gotten into a full blown altercation — leaned over onto a table dripping with blood swinging at on-top of eachother while all you could do was watch while Sasha and Connie stood by your side comforting you. Eren, reiner and one of your other classmates, Floch, tried two separate the two of them.

Tears had welled in your eyes as you watched jean being dragged away and armin leaned over the table with Eren hovering over him. This was all your fault, your not only crying because you hurt about the fight—your hurt because this whole thing was your doing. If you had never gotten ‘involved’ with armin this wouldn't happen. 

From the beginning you had a feeling to pivot away from these feelings but you ignored these warnings and followed your heart. This was the consequences of your actions “ come on lets go outside.” sasha took your hand and led you away from the crowd that's was staring at you as you leave.

Holding back your tears as you get outside but once you got there, it was like this wave of sadness and guilt had just come over you. Tears spilled out of your eyes and onto sashas shoulder while she rubbed your back and whispered words of comfort.

“This is all my fault.” you say between sobs 

“No its not, dont let him get you down  you cant blame yourself for wh-”

You cut her off mid sentence 

“No sasha this is my fault! If i had never been selfish and got with armin this would have never happened.” balling your eyes off on her shoulder, she had nothing to say at your comment because you were right, you'd triggered this whole ordeal.

Both of you were outside for at least ten minutes, sasha had managed to calm you down when connie had come out.

“Hey are you ok?” he gave you a side hug and could see sasha give connie a face and him rolling his eyes in return. You wipe your eyes and nod. “..armin was asking for you inside..i uh-i can take you to him.” the silence after that comment was loud that you were able to hear the crickets chirping. Debating if you even wanted to walk to walk back into there. Mustering up the courage to answer, you nod your head and he leads you inside—to no surprise people were staring at you. At the moment you didnt care anymore, your focus now was armin. You were led to a room to see armin with a busted lip and a few scratches on his face. Mikasa was tending to his wounds when she sees you “ill give you two a moment.” as shes walking out with connie that's when he looks up to see you. 

His eyes go wide as he gets up from the bed, you walk towards him and collapse into his arms. “min i-im so sorry.” you were barely able to get those words out. His arm were tightly wrapped around you, stroking your lower back—silently comforting you and wiping your tears. “It's ok, I don't want you to feel bad.” you lift your head from his shoulders to look up at him “ no armin, You would have never gotten hurt if i–”  your words were cut short with a swift kiss on the lips. It was a light kiss but enough to shut you up. He pulled back from the kiss only to stare at you lips “sorry i got blood on you.” he wipes your lips with his thumb, you didn't waste any time and kissed him again.

When you kiss him it was like quenching an insatiable taste that you had for so long. He leaned in to deepen the kiss pulling you closer—it made you lose balance and walk backwards into a wall. Both of you were going at a methodical pace when you decided bite his lip to slip your tongue into his mouth. The kiss had become messy — armin hand snaked down and squeezed your butt. Causing you to let out a moan in his mouth — his lips move down your face and onto your neck “you don't know how long i've been waiting for this.” he pants before he starts sucking on your neck.

‘This feeling is was better then the drugs’  you think in your head, this is what you have been waiting so long for  

The breathy moans from the both of you filled the room. Your hands traveled from his neck to his hair, running your fingers though his hair while ever so slightly grabbing it. You knew that this shouldn't have been happening, both of you knew that but it didnt stop you.

His curious hand had found its way under your dress and gripped you ass again which had cause to let out another moan. You pulled him closer and felt the bulge in his pants, the way he grinded onto you only made you crave him more. his lips had been exploring your neck—you had been kissing his and his jawline, you wanted him as close to you as he could be. The panties that you put on were already getting drenched— “min i-i need you.” he lifts his head back up from your neck which he had been sure to leave a few marks on.

His lips had found their way back to yours where he left a wet sloppy kiss with a trailing string of saliva after it “ y/n…i need to tell you something i-”

Knock knock

“Are you guys ok in there.”

It had taken you both by surprise—your disheveled appearance along with armins messy hair and plump pink lips weren't a good look for the two of you right now. “ uh..” you had looked to armin, to see him wiping his mouth and catching his breath “ give us a sec.” Armin had turned around towards the bad to calm himself down. You turned towards a mirror to fix your dress which had been bunched up at you hips, leaving your panties exposed. Noticing the multiple hickeys that armin left on your neck—they were so prominent that you doubted you would be able to cover them up.

Luckily you had thick curly hair so you were just barley able to cover them.

Another knock met the door, you made your way to the out with armin following suit.

Once you opened the door annie was standing right besides it, she gave you two a look—a look as if she knew what you two had done.

Many people had left the party—you didn't realize how late it had been until you saw the clock—2:39.

Adrenaline pumping in your body had given you enough energy to stay up for that long. You walked through the messy common space where Connie, Reiner, Floch and Eren and a few otehr students had been cleaning that was filled with solo cups, empty bottles and the messed up table that Jean and armin had fought on. Turning to look to armin who was staring into space, you reach and grab his hand which made him snap out of it.

“Armin?”

“Huh” his tone as if he was completely unaware.

“Oh sorry are we leaving now?” 

Before you could even answer him, he rushed to grab the jacket had had given you to wear. Wrapping the jacket around you and quickly guided you towards the outside, him rushing had taken you by surprise. 

“Wait armin”

He had avoided eye contact with you ever since you left the room up until now

“im really sorry about tonight, i understand if you want to stop the dating thing after tonight.

There was a moment of hesitation from him.

“Why would i want to stop?”

Thats not at all what you expected to come out his mouth and he could tell.

“If anything i want to make this serious.”

Really? After all the shit you put him thought this past week. Does he even know what hes signing up for, never being able to probably mend his relationship with jean again. You didnt want this for him — as much as it would make you happy.

“Armin…are you sure, i mean after tonight yk the fight you’d go through this every week.

He looked at you with plea in his eyes.

“y/n…i love you —  i have for so long now but ive been pivoting away for so long now. But after tonight im sure what i feel, i mean i understand if you dont reciprocate these feelings. I think about you every night before bed, your whats running through my mind, i love you with all my heart i really do.”

You didnt waste a moment before he started rambling again to shut him up before he started again.

Your lips met his, it was a slow sensual kiss—he tilted his head more into yours making the kiss deeper until you broke it off.

A smirk spread across your face while his was flushed a blush pink while his eyes look down to his feet. You reach for his chin and lift his head to your eye level—how can someone who gave you a whole declaration of love, not be able to look you in the eye? “Im sorry i just get nervous around you sometimes.” he looks up and quietly looks at you and you raise an eyebrow. Hes too cute

A warm smile spreads across his face, you look, grab his hand and intertwine your fingers with his and swing his arm around. By the chilling wind of a fully luminescent moon you could tell it was time that you went back to your room. They way armin's face was luminated under the moon light made him look unreal, his hair had turned a platinum blond and the blue in his eyes turned very prominent. You just wanted to bask in each others presence for a few minutes, finally able to be his and for him to be yours.

“Well looks like it's time for me to go.” you break contact and look up at the moon

In return he slightly pouts his lips trying to give you puppy dog face but your not buying it but it does make you laugh.

“Could i atleast walk you back?”

“It’s ok i think i could walk by myself”

Trying to walk away but he wouldn't let go of your hand, until you tilted your head and pleaded for him to let you go.

“Goodnight i love you….”

Those words replayed in your head for a loop, you turned back too look at him and mouthed it back to him while he stared at you walking away, and you knew by tomorrow this would all feel like a fever dream.

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hii!! U seem so cool- but anyway,, could i get a twisted wonderland match up? My grammar kinda sucks and my auto corrects off so😭

I would like for it to be more romantic, if thats ok! Also pls dont match me up with any of the 1st years since i would honestly just adopt them in twst😭

Sooo im an enfp 7w6, scorpio, green flag.. Yeahhh

But other than that,, (about to write a whole essay abt my personality) what abt my personality?

Soo im honestly kindaa uhm,, goldfish-like; i have a crap memory. and whenever in a serious situation, one where you need to stay on guard, i instantly calm down after someone cracks a joke and forget abt the whole situation.. So bcuz of that i get called "the goldfish of (gc name)" 🥲

But im really motherly and caring! I always take care of my loved ones like a nurse, so pretty much- im my friends personal nurse AND doctor (as someone who startes studying abt medical stuff when i was like 10,, young, ik) i also take care of stray animals whenever i get the chance. feeding them, taking care of their wounds, whatever! Im a good balance of childish and mature, though i fall more on the childish side! I honestly give out 'sad, wet cat' vibes at first, since i mostly spend time alone, sulking abt being alone, reading in the library alone.. but im the total opposite! Honestly kinda weird but in a good way? Super kind, and generous, and sympathetic, i always consider other peoples feelings first ofc! Honestly kind of a people pleaser🥲 softhearted person with anger issues huhu.. Also keyword 'with anger issues' because i can and will beat someone up who did one simple thing to make me mad, even if theyre like 6'2 IDGAF FIGHT ME IM 5'10 ITS NOT MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE🙄🙄 veryvery energetic or the opposite, depends. havent slept for like 2 weeks straight😇

Now I'll just say the exact words my friends said when i asked them what they thought of me-

"funny, cute, and she lavs astronomy ahhajaja" "ure the friend whos effortlessly funny but gay /j but srsly youre the friend whos funny but super girlboss whenever there are fights and uses emojis every sentence they send" "the fish i ate for dinner" "cute nmn, and fun too, but annoying sometimes😒" "youre literally just like your father but as a girl,, stubborn, charming, ignorant, brave.. And you even have the same facial feaures." "Soft girl vibes" "VOODOO DOLL SELLER IKAW"

And for my hobbies.. I have a lot tbh LEMME JUST-

Astronomy; stargazing.. IT GIVES ME SO MUCH PEACE OMG

Exploring; going to abandoned and apparently 'haunted' places brings me so much joy somehow

Dancing; practicing ballet but my friends drag me to learn the choreo of a kpop song😭

Singing; opera😻

Sports; BADMINTON, BASKETBALL, SOCCER, VOLLEYBALSLSMSJKAHSKXVJSDJ LOBVE THIS

Gaming; tbh i rarely do it anymore😭

Collecting; plushies, seashells, etc..

Art; SCULPTING, DIGITAL, TRADITIONAL, MUSIC, ETC. I CAN DO IT ALL OMGG

Thats all i think😔 I dont wanna waste ur time so thank you huhuu BYEE HAVE A GREAT YEAR MWAMWA

-lav hoshii

Hello and thank you for your request! Honestly I had a lot of fun reading over this and I believe I have just the guy for you so here we go!

I match you with.......

Floyd Leech

🦐 You two bounce off of each other so freaking much that it is insane. At this point, you're the most interesting person in his life and he isn't planning on letting you go ANY time soon and that's a fact.

🦐 Floyd is someone who butts heads with a lot of people, and I mean, a LOT of people. He's not one to shy away from a fight, even in those ones where he is clearly out numbered. It's more fun for him. But what he really loves is how you patch him up after each and every one. Sure, you badger him about all of these fights, but it's only because you care about him, and as you place a kiss to each wrap and bandaid, he can only hopelessly grin at you...... he is smitten.

🦐 Your memory isn't the best, and while Floyd seems like the aloof type, he is actually very smart, very perceptive, and has an excellent memory. He will remember anything you can't and it greatly comes in handy when needed.

🦐 Being with Floyd, also means you will be seeing a lot of Jade. Sorry, they're a two for one package deal (Azul's words). And while his twin was highly skeptical of you at first (when is he not skeptical of someone?), just seeing you with Floyd, and all the shenanigans you both get up too and how you always take care of him, you're basically family now at this point.

🦐 He is in the basketball club! Which is perfect for you! You love basketball and you two have player 1v1 quite a lot. Just be careful, because he can and WILL get competitive. Also, if you wear his jersey to his games, he has this derpy smile the entire time and will be showing off just for you. He turns into an absolute beast on the court. You're now the good luck charm of the NRC basketball team and Ace and Jamil always make sure you're there.

🦐 He finds out early on in the relationship about your habit of collecting sea shells. Now, because of him that collection has expanded a great amount. Look, you're dating a merman, he can and will be going under the water to gather the best and biggest shells thay he can find for your ccollection. But your personal favorite is a little cream colored chipped clam shell. He brought that one back after finding it randomly on a walk and it is now the most cherished one in the collection.

🦐 The way your mood fluctuates matches how his does, and while it annoyed him at first (like, is this how Jade and Azul feel when his does that?), he was able to quickly find out what can set you off or change your mood and is able to quickly adjust accordingly. Though he will admit that you look pretty hot when you get angry and tackle someone twice your size.

🦐 He would absolutely love to go exploring with you. It can be boring, it can be dangerous, so much could happen that you just don't know and that's what makes it exciting! If you ever get bored of looking at the supposedly haunted houses, he'll happily supply a breathing potion and he can show you some really cool shipwrecks!

🦐 Overall, a relationship with the reckless eel with legs is nothing short of an adventure. You know you'll never be bored, he loves how considerate you are with him and how you take care of him. And Azul and Jade are beyond thankful that you can actually get him to focus on his work, only if you're there, though 😅

havent slept in the 3rd night

This is actually hurting me the most because its the fact that I cant really do much unless I force myself to do it and I only tell ONE friend about how im feeling and he understands and he listens what I have to say and wondering how im doing since the incident. I really wish I can just erase the memory. I cant its pissing me off and makes me upset. Why can I just let it stop like please get it off my damn head I dont want to be in this kind of pain anymore. I have to wake up sweating because how much nightmares I been getting since that situation happened its not that easy to just forget about it even if its not involve with it. It would still come back in my mind and haunt me as always and I want to get out and hang out with my damn friends but I want to hang out with one friend that my parents are ok with and thats cool but at the same time it really depends on where we are going and if it counts money but eh its all good we are vibing. I been listening to running up the hill by kate bush because thats the only song that can help me and calm me down when im breaking down every single night. I cant have one good damn day. Thats what sucks and this is my third night not sleeping just staying up the full night and im really tired I just dont want to get nightmares anymore its so tiring.

[parasocial bestie] GOOD MORNING BESTIE I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD REST THAN BEFORE that uneven sleep pattern sucks so bad i felt fr either waking up outta nowhere or having a hard time sleeping no matter how hard you try GRRRGHHH anyway i saw ur tier list and i just cackled so true babygirls everywhere BUT THATS NOT THE ENTIRE POINT bc it kind of genuinely caught me. when u put yae at cunt right next to ei and since i read on your impression on ei im kinda curious,....

dunno if its worth talking about but if its the same /neg then :handshake: im ngl she is a lil Eh to me for so many reasons, even if she played the good guys role theres a hecka lot to just feel Pissed on thats excused with her foxy mama behavior. yeah i know cunning yeah i know easy to tease the easily teased YEAH I KNOW SCANDALOUS SHIZ. anyway there's more to say that might as well fall into a petty essay but i do wanna know ur impression on her!! if its ok if not das oke too!! (i hav this lil thing regarding. something. idk how to sum it up without going on another paragraph. keyword post-xiaodeadgebrainrot, scnezhnaya, tsaritsa hc das all subscribe to my channel to hear more)

clicking the everloving FUCK out of the subscribe button as we speak

I HOPE UR HAVING A GOOD NIGHT BESTIE i cannot lie to u i slept So Poorly but thats okay bc i will probably take a nap bc i dont have work today god bless <3 we r shaking hands in mad sleeping problems fr fr

I FEEL SO BAD HATING ON CHARACTERS I KNOW MY FRIENDS LIKE OR LOVE DORRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY its just. well. i was calling yae a cunt in the context of 3.7 being the babygirl banner and then correcting myself to say 3 babygirls and one cunt and then i was like hmmm if i had to sort them into those categories. and yae and ei go hand in hand for me in so many ways and suddenly there was a tierlist and. yeah :sob:

UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM so the thing is right. i know loads abt ei bc of the whole. yknow. archon and her two story quests and sm of inazuma revolving around her and learning abt her and etc etc. but i know So Fawking Little about yae comparatively. like the bare minimum of information on her. i havent done her story quest yet either i just. erm. well.

it is Entirely Petty on my end like part of it is literally just the association with ei and the fact that she cares sm about her that makes me hate her more than i already did, part of it is just How She Was in the inazuma story quests i did NOT like her there at all, part of it is just her overall Vibes which i hate so bad... "even if she played the good guys role theres a hecka lot to just feel Pissed on thats excused with her foxy mama behavior" THIS LITERALLY THIS !!!!!!!! idk honest to god at the end of the day she just irritates me in a very non-serious manner and i love being a hater <3333333333 like w/ ei the reason is VERY personal and very extensive but with yae its so shallow comparatively its a Little Funny tbh

Tonight. Not good

song Idea

“I’m hungryyyyyyyyyy”

“But I don’t got no moneyyyyyyyyyyy”

“I just want 20 bucks for a pizza”

“Ughhh I guess I actually have to get up and make something”

Hey 🍄 annon here Ik im annoying but anyone with a kid who just can't take care of themself they suck at it but they can provide for thier fanbase(let's say they stream or do YouTube or make music you choose okay) dispite suffering they just want to make others and thier fanbase happy

[lmao I'm sick but I hope you're doing well]

Go To Sleep

character(s): Cc!Nihachu + cc!Karl & teen!reader

genre: hurt/comfort

warning(s): swearing, mentions of sleeping troubles, mentions of lack of self care

Nihachu

You were spending the night with at Niki's house since your parents were out of town for the night. The two of you have been sitting on the floor infront of her bed for a while, she was watching a movie while you were trying to figure out a plan for your upcoming video.

Though her attention wasn't on the show, "Y/n are you ok? you seem awfully tired," Niki asked as she stared at you with a worried expression.

"Hm?" You asked as you looked away from the notebook that was in your hands.

"are you ok?" Nihachu asked once more as she moved her hand to your shoulder. "there's bags under your eyes, have you been sleeping properly?"

"Oh, no it's ok." You brushed her off, adding a smile into it. "I didn't sleep too well last night, that's all."

Niki nodded and stood up, holding her hand out for you to take. "Well let get you to sleep then. You're a growing child, you need sleep."

"I can't sleep yet, I have to get this planned out and stuff." you explained when holding up your notebook.

Niki sighed and took the notes out of your hands, "it can wait. you're health is more important."

"but I promised eve-"

"no! sleep." she ordered and you hugged in slight annoyance. However, on the inside you were happy that she cared.

Karl

You groaned as you tried to get the one chord right. You've been trying for hours but you couldn't quite get it and it was starting to annoy the shit out of you.

Your schedule was fucked.

You barely ever slept anymore, getting an average of about 4 hours each night, and that if you even fell asleep. You were so busy with school work and trying to get this song prepared you hadn't been able to take care of yourself the way you should've from all tee stress. Plus you cried for at least an hour each day out of frustration.

Your phone started ringing, having reached for it you saw Karl's caller ID.

"Hello?" you said, your voice much more hoarse than you wanted it to be.

"You ok there, Bug?" Karl asked with concernaced in his voice. You smiled at the nickname he gave you. You weren't sure as to why, but Karl had practically adopted you. You weren't complaining though you felt safe around him. Of course you would never tell him this, you wouldn't have the guts to express how much you looked up to the man.

"ya, I'm fine." you answered, trying to hide the extreme tiredness evident in their voice.

Karl frowned, "you sound awful, what's wrong?"

You signed, "nothing. I just havent been able to get a good amount of sleep lately with school and me trying to get my new song out."

"Thats not nothing, have you eaten today? drank water?"

"I'm not sure-" you yawned, trying to rub the tirness out of your eyes.

"I'm coming over." Karl stated, and before you could tell him no he hung up.

That day, Karl spent the day getting you to rest and eat. No matter how hard you tryed to stop him it didn't work. He wanted t care for you, having he felt responsible for your health.

That night when he tucked you in you actually told him how thankful you were to have him as a role model, having made that night the best for him.

NO 🍄 ANON ILY SM! you are not annoying and I hope any other person that said this to you chokes on thumbtacks <3

Jori Ott

so ive been wanting to write something for my OC Jori Ott for a long time. ive never written for any of my OCs before so i was kinda nervous.  dont think this is good at all (yeah i know you’re not supposed to say that because it deters people from wanting to read your work but i dont want be all super confident about it and have someone be like ‘oh she thinks this is good?)

if anyone decides to read this thank you for taking the time to read about my OC! if no one decides to read this then thats ok because i kinda did this for my sake since this is an idea ive been wanting to write anyway.  it turned to be way longer than i thought tbh. it originally was only supposed to be something short to give a little info on her but then i just kinda kept... going.

so as i said this is for my OC Jori Ott and she has a traumatic past that she cant remember and Trelawny raised her as if she was his own daughter. i dont think i write him accurately but honestly... oh well i guess lmao. i wanted him to be an affectionate father figure to her. there are also some specific things i left out simply because i just havent decided on them yet. also i edited this to the best of my ability but if there is anywhere where it says ‘you’ its because im not used to writing in third-person.

the word count is 2,113

Josiah Trelawny, known amongst their group as a conman and trickster, has been there as a father figure for Jori for most of her life.

When Jori was very young her parents were slaughtered and their home set a blaze for reasons unknown to her. Honestly, she can’t even remember anything about her childhood. All she knows is what Trelawny has told her. His expression would change and Jori couldn’t quite explain it. She could tell it hurt him to think about it, though. She had only ever seen him cry once and it was when she was still very little.

The front door to Trelawny’s tiny home was open, letting a cool breeze pass through as she slept on his bed. A shiver woke Jori from her slumber and she shifted under the blanket trying to find a more comfortable position. Before she could get comfortable enough to drift off back to sleep she heard a sniffle. She slowly opened her eyes and spotted Trelawny sitting on the chair he kept outside his door. His laid his lap and it looked like he was holding something. A necklace?

Trelawny let out another sniffle, making Jori more curious as to what was going on. She quietly say up and swing her legs over the side of the bed and tiptoed over to the doorway. When she got close enough she could see he was indeed holing a necklace, or, more accurately, a locket. However, she couldn’t see what was it and was more confused as to why Trelawny would be so upset.

After a third sniffle, Jori softly called his name, startling him. He quickly stuffed the locket in his best pocket and cleared his face of any evidence of tears. His eyes were puffy and red, however, and it broke Jori’s heart to see a normally cheerful Trelawny so miserable. But, despite the pain the was obviously in, he gave her a smile but his eyes still held pain. He may be a trickster but he couldn’t seem to hide anything from Jori. He had to admit, for an 8 year old she was very sharp.

“My dear, what are you doing awake?” His tone was soft.

She wasn’t sure how to answer him. She didn’t want to lie but she also didn’t want to let him know that she had heard him crying. Instead, she climbed into lap, his hat falling to the small, dusty wooden deck. He didn’t care though. Jori wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. “I love you, Josiah. You’re the best dad in the whole world.”

Fresh tears pooled in Trelawny’s eyes as he hugged her back. With some difficulty, he kept his voice from cracking as he replied, “I love you, too.”

Jori hugged him until she eventually fell asleep, slumped on his shoulder. Trelawny carefully carried her back to the and and laid her down without waking her. He pulled the blanket up to her shoulders and placed a light kiss to her top of head.

That was 19 years ago. Jori recalled the night as she got closer the Rhodes saloon. That area was usually empty and she saw it as a good place to finally sit and talk with Trelawny. She wanted to talk to about her childhood, hopefully get some answers about her real parents and why she couldn’t remember anything happened. Trelawny didn’t know that however. Jori was worried that if he knew the reason of the meeting he would refuse.

She walked her horse, Molly, to one of the hitching posts and tied her to it, giving her an affection pat on the neck before ascending the white staircase. There sat Trelawny at table in the corner, steaming cup of tea in front of him and second on the opposite side, waiting for her.

“Ah, Jori!” Trelawny greeted cheerfully and stood up, pulling her into a hug when she was close enough. “I haven’t seen you in weeks! How have you been?”

Jori happily hugged him back then sat in the chair opposite of him. “I’ve been keeping myself busy is all. Even made a few friends.” She picked up the tea Trelawny ordered for her a took sip. She’s never been big on tea but liked it when Trelawny made it.

“Is that so?” He raised a brow. “I hope they’ve been good influences.”

Jori giggled and roll her eyes. “Says the conman who raised me.”

Trelawny just laughed and shook his head. For a while the conversation changed from topic to topic until Jori thought it was finally time to ask about what this meeting was originally for. She could feel the nervousness rising inside her as she gripped the nearly empty tea cup and stared down at the dark liquid.

Trelawny noticed this change in her, his brows knitted together in concern. “Are you alright? Are you suddenly feeling sick?”

“No, no! I’m not feeling sick. It’s just…” Jori trailed off unsure of how to actually bring it up.

“It’s alright, you can tell me.” Trelawny sat up straight, giver her his full attention.

“I just…” Jori cleared her throat trying to find the right words. “I think it’s time that you tell me about my past.”

The atmosphere around them changed and Jori instantly regretted saying anything. She looked up from her cup to Trelawny. Any concern he had was replaced with a look of fear.

Why was he so scared?

Trelawny swallowed hard as a felt a lump in his throat forming. He knew she would ask eventually but he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to bring himself to talk about it. Her parents and him were very close friends. He knew them before they were together. Trelawny subtly clutched at the right pocket in his vest. He could feel Jori’s gaze on him, she was expecting an answer but what was he to say? What he saw that day was gruesome.

“Jori…” he began. His voice was soft as he held back any shakiness in his voice. “I knew your parents for a long time. I was the one who convinced your father to finally talk to your mother. He had been pinning after her for so long.” Despite the pain he was feeling, Trelawny let out a soft chuckle.

“Um,” Jori stopped him before he could go on. “Can you tell me their names?”

“Your father’s name was Henry and your mother’s name was Alice.”

Henry and Alice Ott. You imagined those names trying to see if you could find any memory of them. Unfortunately, you couldn’t even remember their faces.

“He was so taken with her.” Trelawny continued and smiled at the memory. “Unfortunately, she was already with another man.”

“That must have been hard on him. I think if it were me I would have given up, honestly.” Jori has always been a non-confrontational person. She has always preferred to stay out of drama.

“You’re the same as your father in that way.” He gave Jori’s hands a light squeeze as he gave another soft chuckle. Even though she can’t remember her father, hearing that made her feel a little closer to him.

“So, if my mother was already with someone else, how did she and my father get together?” Jori questioned.

“Like I said, it took me a bit of convincing. I don’t know what became of the man but, I do know he was very upset to learn that Alice was leaving him for Henry. He vowed revenge but none of us had seen him since then.”

Jori listened intently, taking in every detail she could.

“I think what drew your mother to your father was his soft nature. Your mother was not one to let people boss her around. She always stood her ground and put up a fight. They were opposites but they both completed each other.”

Trelawny laughed before he continued causing Jori to raise her brows in confusion. “What’s so funny?” She asked.

“I was just thinking… Henry was the kind of person to apologize to you of you spilled soup on his lap.”

Jori couldn’t help but laugh along with him. He was right about her sharing a personality with her father seeing as that was something that had actually happened to her.

“I was Henry’s best man at their wedding. He cried when he saw her in her wedding dress.” He sighed, remembering how hard it was for Henry to get through his vows through his crying. Alice kept her composure the entire time, giving Henry words of encouragement every time he stumbled over his words. “Two years later, Alice got pregnant and you were born. I remember how tiny you were.”

“You were there when I was born?” Jori asked, amazed.

“Well, I wasn’t there for your birth,” he explained. “But, of course I had to see my best friend’s and his wife’s new beautiful baby daughter!” He gave Jori’s hands another squeeze as she giggled.

“Um…” as much as Jori loved hearing about Trelawny’s happy memories with her parents, she really wanted to know about the day of their death. “How much do you about… the fire?”

The lump in Trelawny’s throat reformed and he sighed, mentally preparing himself. His breath was slightly shaky as he let it out slowly and began recounting that day.

“When I got there the house was up in flames. I could see the light from the fire and the smoke on the sky long before I even arrived. But, through the fire, I could hear voices.”

“My parents?” Jori asked, hopefully. She knows their dead but a small part of her was hoping to hear otherwise.

Trelawny shook his head solemnly. “It was a group of men. The leader was… the man your mother left for your father.”

Jori tensed up but didn’t say anything. She imagined how terrified Trelawny must have been arriving to a scene like that.

The images of Henry’s and Alice’s corpses were burned into his memory. The sight was too gruesome for him to even consider telling Jori. Tears stung at his eyes but he held them and continued. “He was going to kidnap you. I don’t want to imagine what he would have done if he had actually gotten away with you.”

This time it was Jori’s turn to give Trelawny’s hands a squeeze. He was usually very well composed but he was having a difficult time keeping it together. His shoulders shook as he fought to keep his tears back and kept swallowing as the lump in his throat just didn’t seem to want to go away. Jori’s heart was breaking seeing him like this.

“Do you remember his name?”

He shook his head. “I never knew his name.”

She sighed in looked down, unsure if even knowing his name would do any good. She’s not one for revenge or murder. Was he even still alive after all this time? Trelawny cleared his throat, pulling her from her thoughts. She watched as he was finally able to recompose himself.

“I’m sorry I never told you.” He said finally.

“It’s ok, I’m not upset.” She reassured him. “But why can’t I remember anything that happened?”

“You fell off his horse as I was stopping him from taking you and you hit your head. I took you to the doctor and he said you suffered a concussion.”

She nodded, soaking in the information. “Thank you, Josiah.”

Jori stood up from her chair, pushing it in. Trelawny followed suit and then walked with her back down the stairs to where her horse was. Suddenly, he remembered the object in his pocket and stopped her before she could climb up into the saddle.

“Oh!” he exclaimed. “This is rightfully yours.”

Jori turned to face him curiously and let out a gasp as he pulled what she recognized at the locket from years ago from the pocket in his vest. He opened it and set it in her hands.

“That’s your father,” he pointed a man with black hair and wearing a fancy black suit. “and your mother.” He pointed to the woman with ginger hair and a green dress. “You are her spitting image.” He smiled.

He was right, it felt like she was looking at herself from a different time. Jori put the locket around her neck and thanked Trelawny once again. She threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. “I love you, Josiah. You’re the best dad in the whole world.”

Trelawny hugged her back just as tightly as he chuckled, remembering that night from 19 years ago. “I love you, too.”

Evening to all :)

Time for the next part :)

Have a nice evening :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 10

I woke up with a terrible taste in my mouth. I had no clue what time was it, but the sun was out already, making me squint my eyes. I got in sitting position slowly, banging in my head intensifing with every move i made. Ugh, i'm never drinking again, i scolded myself. Squinting, I focused on the little alarm clock that was on the night stand. 10.34. Whoa, i cant remember the last time i slept this long. I got up from the bed and went to the bathroom. I filled the glass with wather, rinsing my mouth a few times before gulping down two glasses. My stomach growled at it, i just hoped not to throw up .Taking a shower would be a wise thing to do, so i just threw the clothes i had off and entered the shower. The warm water felt good, i just let it pour over me for a while. I wrapped myself in the towel taking some painkillers for the headache. Getting back to the room, i dressed up, and sat on the bed. I felt a bit better, but still not enough. Coffee, i tought, thats what i need now. I got up, going for the purse i threw on the floor when i got in, searching for my phone. Shit, i cursed, it wsnt there. I checked every pocket, even Jake's hoodie, but my phone was nowhere to be found. Crap, i probably left it at a the Aurora last night, when Jessy and me wer taking pictures. Or at lest i hoped so. Well, i was going for coffee, so i could stop at the Aurora eitherway. I grabbed my backpack with drawing stuff. Who knows, i might be up for some drawing, no matter I still felt woozy from last night drinking. I putted my sneakers on, grabed my stuff and car keys. Walking wasnt an option this time, i wasnt feeling well enough for it.

When i parked my car infront of the Aurora, I saw Dan's car was still there. I smiled as i left the car, guess i wasnt the only one sleeping late today. I hoped Phil was there already, and my phone too. I entered the Aurora, relieved at the sight of Phil behind the bar. I was washed with the smell of coffee, and as i neared the bar, I pleadingly said to him, sitting on the stool „Please, please, please, tell me i'm not wrong and that is coffee i can smell.“ Phil turned arround , not noticing me when i entered. He grinned at me „You are most definitly right! Would you like some?“ „Yes, pretty please.“ I said, as i putted my hand on the bar, and leaned my head on it as on a pillow. Phil chuckled at me „Want any sugar with it? Or milk?“ „Yes, please.“ I replied, and he vanished through the storage doors. He returned with a big cup of coffe putting it infront of me. I rised my head, took the cup, taking a deep breath of its smell, before taking a big sip of it. „Thanks, Phill, you're my saviour:“ i smiled at him as i settled it back on the bar. „Here to help.“ He said, winking. „Rough night?“ he asked teasingly. „Oh, i dont know how you can be so cheerful.“ I started „I feel like a truck hit me lastnight.“ He laughed „Practice to perfection.“ „I think i would need years of practice to be even close to that kind of perfection!“ i said, making a skeptical face. He smiled at me „So, to what do i owe the pleasure?“ he asked. „Dont get me wrong, im glad to see you“ he said, that devilish spark in his eyes again „But i doubt you came just to see me.“ „You caught me.“ I said, even tho it was nice seeing him. „I was hoping that i might have left my phone here yesterday.“ He shook his head at me, crouching down searchin for a few seconds under the bar, giving me my phone as he got up. „Better be carefull next time, good thing i noticed it as you left.“ „Yay, thanks Phil, again.“ I told him, giving him a big smile. „I owe you big time! Both for the phone, and coffee.“ His phone rang then „Sorry business calling. Be right back“ he said, answering his phone and going through the storage door. I checked my phone with him gone, finding out few missed calls and messages from Jessy. She was worried i havent answered her jet, so i decided to call her while waiting for Phil. The tone barely sugested it rang when Jessy's voice boomed from the other side. „Finaly! Do you know how worried i have been? Are you allright? Where wer you? Why didnt you answer me before?“ It made me smile a bit, her worrying for me like that was so sweet. „Im sooooo sorry Jessy“ i said pleadingly „I left my phone at Aurora last night, i just got here to get it.“ Phil returned at that point, and i mouthed to him 'Jessy's' name, indicating who i was talking to. Her voice boomed again, and i moved my phone a bit from my ear, wich made Phil laugh. „Ofcourse you did! Its no wonder after all the whiskey you had! Dan is still sleeping like a log! You two really had it last night!“ „Aww, Dont be cross, Jessy.“ I started pleadingly again „I promise next time we wont over do it.“ Phil was grining at me now, and i stuck my toung at him, trying to calm Jessy down. „C'mon, you cant tell me you didnt have some fun yesterday.“ I started „I have some pictures on my phone as a proof of it.“ Phil threw his thumb up, showing me i said a good thing, and i grined at him. „Alright, i admit last night wasnt all that bad.“ Jessy started, sounding calmer now „But you're still not off the hook completly.“ „Thanks, Jessy“ i started, grining as a sign of victory to Phil. „You can scold me some more at lunch, if the deal for it still stands.“  „Ofcourse!“ Jessy cined cheerfuly from the other side „Dan will be a sleep for God knows how long, and im already bored here.“ I quickly moved my phone from the ear checking the time. „Its 12.20 now, when do you want us to meet?“. „I'll meet you around 14 at the Aurora. I doubt Phil will mind you hanging there with him till then.“ She replied, teasing me. „Somehow i think you're right.“ I said, looking at Phil with a devilysh smile. „Cya later, Jessy.“ I sadi, lovering my phone. Phil looked at me,a bit confused „Wat was that about?“ „Oh, just Jessy being Jessy.“ I told him, grining. „Fine, fine, be all mysterious.“ He teased me. „Awww, c'mon, you wouldnt find me so interesting if i was an open book.“ I told him, smiling sheepeshly. He looked at me, with that intensifing look again, making me feel heat spreading through my body „You're not wrong about that.“ Crap, what are you doing again, Maya, i scolded myself. Phil was definatly into me, and i was toying with him like this. It really wasnt my intention, i didnt want him to get the wrong impression about anything. But it felt so easy for me, talking to Phil, compared to Jake. Why does all have to be so tough and complicated with him? It feels like walking on egg shells every time im with him: dont do this, dont say that. Shit, it shouldnt be that way, should it? Was i really that much into Jake? Blah, i dont know anything anymore. I wish he would be more open with me, it would make things so much easier. I was lost in my toughts when Phil finaly snaped me back to reality „Maya? You allright?“ I looked at him, shaking my head,  to clear it from all the 'Jake' toughts. „Yeah, sorry.“ I started „Guess the coffee didnt kick in properly yet.“ Phil looked at me, and i could see he didnt really belive what i told him, but decided not to take the matter any further „If you say so.“ Was all he said. I smiled shyly at him. „Do you mind if i just hang here for an hour or so, before metting with Jessy? I dont feel up to driving back to motel, and the coffee isnt bad here either.“ I tried, smiling, waving my empty cup at him. Phil looked at me, rising one of his eyebrows, and smiled devilishly „How could i say no to a beautifull woman?“ He took my cup, winked at me vanishing through the storage doors. I could feel my cheeks flushing again, and my heart beating faster. Shit, shit, shit..

When Phil came back with another full cup of coffee i asked if its ok if I sit at one of the booths, to wich he said  fine, since he did have some work to be done. I took my stuff and coffee setteling at the booth. I had a bit over an hour before metting with Jessy, i hoped some inspiration for work might come to me. I took my stuff out of the backpack, took my sneakers off, sitting with my feet up on the booths perch. I liked drawing like that. Leaning my drawing pad on my knees i tried to focus on my work, but my toughts just kept wondering off.  I tought about Phil, sneaking glances towards the bar. He was good looking, always nice to me, even tho everyone warned me that he was a 'no good' considering women. He never showed any sign of it towards me. He was easygoing, i enjoyed his company, we definatly clicked. Then there is Jake. I was definatly drawn to him, cant deny that. When im near him, it feels like when a moth is drawn towards fire. Cant fight it, its driving me crazy. But nothing with him is easy. Its like taking one step forward, then not one, or even two, but ten steps back. Its so frustrating. And with all that had happened, i feel like all the progres we had was completly gone. My head was still too woozy for thinking of stuff like this. I setteled my drawing stuff down, taking my coffee, leaning back in the booth. Maybe Jessy would have some advice fore me. Two heads are smarter then one, or so they say. But i should definatly talk to Phil, at least try to explain things to him. I dont want him thinking im giving him some false hope here. As if he could sense my toughts, he turned around, took his coffee and walked towards me. „Mind if i join you?“ he asked, and i smiled „Ofcourse i dont. I guess my inspiration is still sleeping, so no work to be done at the moment.“ He grined „Thats good for me. I can have the pleasure of your company for some more then.“ I chuckled at that, siping some more of the coffee. But i tought again about talking with him about everything.  My face must have gotten some serious expression, 'couse Phil looked at me a bit serious, before asking „Whats bothering you, Maya? I have a feeling you want to talk to me about something.“ I looked at him, those deep eyes of his gazing intensly at me, trying to dig up my toughts. „I do.“ I admitted after a moment „But to be hones, i dont know how to start .“ „Well, just do your best.“ He said, and i started to get the feeling of a knot at my stomach again. „Allright.“ I said, but the words didnt come easy after that. „I like you, Phill.“ I said finaly after a moment of silence. He chuckled „Ok, thats a good start.“ „Ah, but that was the easy part.“ I started „Now comes the tricky one.“ I could notice him tensing a bit, like he knew where this might lead to. „Ok, go on then.“ He said. „I enjoy your company, talking to you, its so easygoing. I feel we clicked, that theres some 'spark' between us, and i know you noticed the same.“  „You're right about that.“ He replied. „But..“ i started, and Phil interupted me, sighing „Ahh, there it is, the famous 'but' part.“ „Please, Phil, just let me say what i have, then you can hate me.“ He looked at me, his face getting a soft touch „I couldnt hate you, Maya.“ „Dont say it untill im not done talking.“ I said, a bit sadness creeping to my voice. „Alright. Please, continue.“ „Ok. As i started earlier,i like you, but i dont want to get your hopes up.“ I settled my coffe on the table, my hands fidgeting with the cup. Why was this so hard? „Shit, Phil, im a complete mess at the moment.“ I started „I myself dont know what i want, and its tearing me up inside. There is someone, and i dont know where I stand with him. And i dont want to start something new, if im not a 100% sure that its the right thing, that its something i really want. With no loose ends catching up on me.“ I looked up at Phil, him still not taking his eyes off me. „Am i making any sense to you here?“ i asked, lovering my head. I really didnt want to have this conversation, but that was me being honest. All of a sudden, i could feel Phil's hand covering mine, and i looked back up at him. He still had that softness written all over his face. „I appriciate your honesty, Maya.“ He started „Now let me be honest also.“ „Ofcourse“ i said „I expect nothing less.“ „Good.“ He looked at me more serious now. „You know i like you, you said it yourself. I dont know why, but i felt drawn to you the moment i saw you. Theres something in you that makes a man bedazled by you, i cant explain it differently.“ He paused for a moment before continuing. „And i get it, you dont want to get into something half hearted. And i applaud you for that. Because, if anything was to happen between us, i wouldnt want it that way either.“ He looked at me now, his gaze intensifing again, and i started to feel that heat again. „If it was to happen“ he continued „I would prefere if you wer in it with every inch of your body and soul.“ I was mesmerized by his words. He was so open with me, the words came so easy to him. Why cant it be like this with Jake. „Allrighty, that was pretty honest there.“ I said finaly, making an aqward smile. „You wanted me to be honest.“ He said, adding „And just so you know, im not going to make it easy for you.“ He looked at me now, with that devilish spark in his eyes again. I looked at him puzzled „What do you mean by it?“ He grined at me „Its like this: i will continue to act like i did so far, and you can do the same, cause, lets face it, we both like it.“ His grin widened, and i smiled back at him. „Good, you get me. But, until i get a confirmation from you about freely taking it a step further, i will do whatever i can to maybe, just maybe, help you feel a bit less messy and steer thigs in my favore.“ „And what if it wont end as you hope it would? Can you be ok with just being my friend?“ i asked him. He looked at me for a moment, before answering. „Honestly“ he started“i cant say i wouldnt be dissapointed, a little hearth broken probably, but i would respect your choice. And yes, Maya, if that would be so, i would gladly be just your friend.“ “Thanks, Phil, i appriciate all you said.“ I told him „I was kinda affraid of having this conversation with you.“ „You, affraid? I cant belive that“ he said, teasingly „Belive me, i was scared as hell.“ I said, adding to it „But im glad we had it. I didnt want it to become aqward between us at some point.“ „Not gonna happen.“ He said, winking at me. I smiled „Shit, you know, even thou i had enough yesterday, i could actualy use a drink right now.“ Phil lughed so hard „Awww, you really did get scared. We are in a bar afterall, you just say the words and ill bring you that drink.“ He said, looking at me with one raised eyebrow. „Only if you join me“ i said, grining at him „ And if you dont tell Jessy about it.“ He got up from the booth, smiling and winking before he left for the bar „Deal!“

youre okay

buckle up besties, roommate anon is about to make you literally cry with this recap

(1) ok so. tyler’s family were scary but they ended up being so nice. when we first got there his brother asked me how much tyler paid me to be there 💀 tyler nudged him and said knock it off. then his brother said “well tyler, glad youre finally bringing a girl home” and his mom had come in just then. and scolded ty’s brother lol. his sister just said hi from the couch and ty went up to her and whispered something. and then they did a handshake which was so cute 🥺 i asked ty’s mom if she needed help with dinner. she took me up on that. it was nice talking to her. she was really sweet. we talked and even got to joking around. so thats good. ty’s dad came home in the meantime and said hi. he talked to me a bit too. ty’s sister was still a bit standoff-ish at dinner. she wasnt mean. just didnt really interact with me. she was the hardest to win over. but she did compliment my outfit. i appreciated that i changed three times she mentioned she needed new clothes for when school starts. i told her if she needed a shopping buddy to let me know. and she was like “really? can we go tomorrow?” and i looked at ty bc i had no clue what he had planned. and he sighed and was like “well i had plans to show her around tomorrow” and i gave him a look and he goes “but i guess we can do that after you guys get back” so next day i woke up before ty and got ready. then just sat there until he was up bc i was too scared to go downstairs alone lol. when we did go it was just his parents awake. his mom had me sit with them while ty made coffees lol. his mom told me they enjoyed having me here. and that tyler hasnt brought a girl over since his hs gf. who wasnt allowed to spend the night lol. and she told me he seemed really happy and…in l-word with me 🙈🙈🙈 oh and she said to not pay too much attention to his sister’s behavior bc she’s just jealous she’s not getting all of ty’s attention lmao. then later i took his sister shopping. we found a pair of earrings we both thought were cute so i bought myself and her a pair. she was really thankful and sweet. we ended up talking and she warmed up to me. especially when i said “you know youre just as amazing as tyler says” and she was like “what?” and i said “he talks about you all the time. i was really excited to meet you because he always says youre his best friend” i think she started to like me more after that. idk i tried to show her that im not stealing her brother from her lol. oh and me and her talked about boys and she mentioned this one guy. i was like oh is he cute and she blushed. i go omg do you have a crush on him. she was so red and told me i couldnt tell ty lol. when we got back though, ty’s brother had friends over. they were asking his sister who her friend was. she rolled her eyes lol. so sassy. then they were introducing themselves to me and ty’s brother was like “she’s not interested. she’s in college and is my brother’s girlfriend” i had to hold myself back from laughing that im in college came first and then ty’s gf. but in their introductions i learned that the boy ty’s sister has a crush on is her brother’s friend 🙈 oh girl. i gave her a look. she ran upstairs to put her stuff away lol.

(2) oh and during all this ty was at the store bc his mom sent him to run errands lol. so i chilled with her. helped her get some stuff ready since we were doing a cookout for dinner that night. ty finally came back. his mom shooed us out of the kitchen and told us to go have fun and then when we were putting on our shoes to go she yells “not too much fun though” 🙈 ty’s brother and his friends were snickering. high schoolers smh 🙈 so ty drove us and showed me around. it was fun. it was cute hearing his stories and memories and seeing how excited he got at some things. tbh i think i was giving him heart eyes more than i was looking around 🙈🙈 idk if i can explain it. just seeing him in his element. and a whole new level of relaxed and at home and domestic. idk. maybe youll get it 🙈 he also asked me how shopping with his sister went. so i told him about that minus her crush i aint a snitch. and i told him about his brothers comment lol. he goes “he’s so ridiculous he literally told his friend there was gonna be a college girl at his house. and he told me that you were too hot for me” that one made me giggle. ty said he smacked his brother for that one lol. i said “well i think you’re too hot for me. i mean look at you” he said “what the fuck are you talking about. i’m the luckiest guy in the world for managing to snag you” which 🥺🥺🥺 he was driving so i leaned over and kissed his cheek. bc it was so cute. and kate🙈🙈🙈 bestie 🙈🙈🙈 im only telling you this (and my other anon friends) bc i trust you guys. i havent told anyone else 🙈 but… i was really close to saying the three words to him 🙈🙈 really really close. but i got scared 🙈 it feels too soon. or that maybe its just in my head bc of what his mom said. idk.

(3) i maybe repeated some of this bc i forgot where i left off. we drove around some more. parked and walked around at a few stops. i maybe asked him about his hs gf 🙈 he said they werent really compatible and she was nice but they were better as friends and dated more bc of the pressure of dating. he was very open and honest about it though and that just made me more 🥺 we went to a park with a really nice overlook. then you have to walk through a forest and theres another more secluded one. we were going to kiss but i said “did you take all the girls here” and he said “no, i actually only ever came here alone. youre the only one” and i gave him a 🥺 look. he was a little pink. and i really really wanted to say it again 🙈 but i just kissed him instead. and then we made out 🙈🙈 for a decent amount of time actually. it felt like we were the ones in hs lol. then we were gonna go back. but our lips were a little swollen and red 🙈 so we went to get ice cream instead. then we went back to ty’s. his brother made a comment about us being gone for a while and was smirking. ty flicked him😭 oh and omg kate this was so cute 🥺 so they have these really cute lights in their backyard. his mom is super trendy lol. and they had music playing the whole time. eventually everyone went inside. they refused to let me help bc i had helped enough. i told ty i wanted to sit outside some more. it was so cute out there. the music was playing softly and i was cuddled up with ty and wearing his sweatshirt. it was a good vibe and i wanted to enjoy it.

(4) so we were sitting there quietly. he was just rubbing my shoulder with his thumb since his arm was around my shoulders. and then omg kate 🙈 this is so cheesy 🙈 thinking out loud by ed sheeran came on. ty got up and held his hand out. and asked “dance with me?” i had the biggest grin on my face and nodded. so we danced in his backyard 🙈 just like swayed back and forth nothing fancy. he was spinning me around and i was laughing. eventually we weren’t even dancing just laughing and swaying and trying to get each other to spin 🙈🙈🙈 until he finally pulled me in and we swayed again. i really almost said it again 🙈 but then he leaned down and kissed me. it was soft and sweet. we didnt stay out too long after that. but then we got ready for bed and stuff and he ran downstairs bc his brother used his phone charger and left it downstairs. and when he came back up he was so red. and i was like “are you good? did you just run a marathon or something?” and he flopped down on the bed next to me and groaned. he goes “my whole family saw that” and i said “saw what” and he goes “us dancing and the kiss. i just got hardcore roasted” and then i was like “oh” and he goes “my mom and sister think were adorable. my dad said i need to learn how to dance” which made me laugh. and then he goes “my brother told me my kissing game was weak and my mom glared at him and said it was respectful, which is how you should treat girls.” i hid my face in his chest and said ty this is so embarrassing. he said “your fault for laughing so hard it got their attention” but he said it jokingly lol. i said “maybe take your dads advice and learn to dance so i dont have to laugh” which made him laugh and squeeze my side. that made me squeal and i go oh no that was so loud. tyler was cracking up. but then he got serious and told me he was glad i was getting along with his family 🥺 he told me i fit with them well and that hes glad i was able to bond with his siblings, especially his sister 🥺🥺🥺

(4? 5? fuck i forgot again) and then today i woke up first before anyone else. so i threw on tyler’s sweatshirt and went and sat outside again. just enjoyed the morning. ty’s mom came out and asked me how i slept and all that. then told me she saw us two dancing last night. and she told me her son was clearly in l-word with me and then she smirked over her coffee mug and said “i think the feelings mutual” and took a sip of her drink. SHES SUCH A SAVAGE 🙈🙈🙈 i took a sip of my coffee just so i didnt have to respond and i could feel my whole face was on fire. but then she goes “you two are really sweet and im glad you make him so happy” and i said “he makes me happy too. you raised a great guy” and she smiled at me. then she told me stories about her and her husband meeting and stuff. and also about raising tyler. then his dad came out and brought breakfast. he also added in some stories. oh and his mom asked for my number and she sent me a few pictures she took of me and ty when we were sitting outside and when we were dancing 🙈🙈 idk how neither of us noticed them watching us through the window. but the pictures were cute. ty and his brother came downstairs and also ate with us. then ty and i went on a walk around their neighborhood which was nice and peaceful. when we got back we chilled with his family some more. his sister was awake too and asked me to help her with makeup. so we went to her room. and she was like “you and my brother are cute” 🥺 and she goes “that kiss was like a movie kiss” and i blushed 🙈 she told me how she hasnt had her first kiss and asked me about mine and stuff. it was kinda cute that she trusted me to like ask questions and be open. she was more open about her crush too and told me how he talked to her yesterday and gushed about how cute he was. i just let her go with it lol. and then she told me it was nice having a girl to talk to like a sister bc she cant talk to her brothers about that stuff 🥺🥺 so i told her if she ever wanted to talk she could reach out to me. so now she follows me on insta and has my number lol. then we sat with the fam again and had lunch and then it was time for ty and i to leave. everyone in his family gave me a hug 🥺 and they told me i should visit again 🥺 so it started off really scary but his family dynamic is so cute and they were all nice.

ok sorry but how many people do yall think rog has ever slept with cos i’m guessing four figures no lie

okay, i don’t normally respond to messages like this because, frankly, i dont really feel like its my place to speculate on roger’s sex life. Theres a difference between writing a fiction story with a character named after and inspired by him and discussing his actual personal life which i have no real knowledge about. What he gets up to in his free time is between him and the women he does it with. but i didn’t really feel able to ignore this one. please don’t take this as me telling you off or shutting you down or anything like that. If you want to speculate about roger’s body count thats up to you, go nuts with it. and i love when you guys message me and I don’t want to discourage you from feeling like you can talk to me or just send me your random thoughts or whatever about any subject. But I feel like I need to address why I disagree with this sentiment. Also so I can ask ya’ll to please stop asking me questions like this. 

So firstly, just to get this out of the way. 1000 is a lot. even 100 is a lot. I think if rog had slept with 1000+ people he’d have a least a few illegitimate kids and probably would have been checked into rehab for sex addiction (not to mention STIs and such because lbr people in the 70s specifically probs werent the most careful especially if drugs were involved). I mean even if we were going to say Rog got lucky with a different woman after every show we wouldn’t reach 1000. According to google, Queen played around 700 shows in their entire career. If we add shows played by The Cross thats only another 67 odd shows (according to wikipedia). 

now, i think there are 3 things that contribute to this idea of roger as especially promiscuous. 1. His attitude/demeanour/general way he sells himself. 2. the generally held conceptions about rock stars and rock star behaviour. and 3. what i’m going to call fandom dumbassery (but i mean that with a lot of love) 

So lets start with the man himself. Roger Taylor is loud and opinionated and not particularly humble. He knows he’s talented and attractive though for at least some time he was a little self-conscious about how feminine he looked. He’s always up for a laugh, likes to party and has admitted to enjoying his drink and his women. He’s had kids with two different women, who’s relationships “overlapped”, and is currently married to a third. At least that’s the perception we can gleam from his interviews, behind the scenes videos, and other public appearances. 

It’s easy to see how that image leads to accusations of being a womaniser and a cheater and basically a bit of a slut lmao. But here’s the thing. I think Roger, in part, markets himself that way. The thing is, if you look at his solo songs and the relationships he currently has with his kids and their mothers, and things other people have said about him/his relationships over the years, I think it’s fair to say he also has a bit of a romantic streak maybe? idk if thats the best way of describing it...he’s self confessed to not being a fan of marriage and the like but he’s not opposed to writing and singing love songs and seems to believe in ~love~ as a concept/power. He certainly cares deeply for those closest to him. Whether or not that translates to an agreement with monogamy I can’t say for certain. It’s hard to draw conclusions here because a lot of what we know of his personal life was fed to us through magazines and news paper gossip column articles and they were never looking for the truth, they were looking for scandal and sensationalism. 

For instance the whole thing with the overlapping relationships. I think most people who have read anything about roger and dom and debbie realise that it’s not as cut and dry as “he was cheating with debbie and left dom for her” even though that was the story being sold by the press at the time. The reality (or at least the version closer to reality since obviously no one outside of them and whoever they were closest with knows all the nitty gritty details) is that rog and dom had already split when they got married. it was a marriage of convenience to make sure her and the kids would be looked after financially etc even after he’d moved out. So while it looked to the public like he married one chick and 30 odd days later was spotted with another, there really wasn’t anything untoward happening.  I’m not saying he never had casual hookups or one night stands and i’m not saying he never cheated, but I do think some of it’s been exaggerated, whether by him to encourage the rock star perception or by newspaper/magazine articles.

Now, obviously, we have stories of rog, particularly in the late 60s and into the 70s, being with multiple women. There’s that bit in the Interview with a Queen “Groupie” (which is a fantastic read and i defs recommend checking it out if you havent already) where she talks about roger being a chick magnet and says that, at the time, it was pretty common to sleep about. But, she also says she didnt notice him doing it more or less than anyone else and seemed to mostly be with Jo (his girlfriend at the time). This is the same Jo that got a mention in the Queen in 3D book (”i think we all had the feeling that these two were together for life, but it was not to be”). Conversely, we have that quote (which i cannot find rn but i’ll link it when i do) about roger sometimes having one girl upstairs while another waited in the garage for them to be finished. I think it was about Rog in the mid-late 60s in Truro but whatever. Obviously he wasn’t anywhere near celibate and it’s likely was sleeping with people outside of his relationship(s). But one has to assume that as he got older those kinds of antics stopped happening, at least as frequently.

There is one potential story that I remember reading somewhere along the way about Roger cheating on Debbie while she was pregnant. But, take that with a grain of salt because I can’t find the article again and also I think it was from like The Sun or something equally as rubbish. The press was notoriously always printing mean shit about the boys and that might have been another thing they published to create scandal. Even so, if we assume it’s legit that is still only 1 story. Not to throw him under the bus but Brian is the one with multiple confirmed affairs, who literally wrote songs about it all. So why is Roger the one with sleazy reputation? 

This is where my second and third points come in. There is a pervasive idea about what it means to be a rock star. The whole trashing hotel rooms, sleeping with groupies, passing out drunk every night thing. And I’m sure that Queen was like that to an extent. I think it’s pretty common knowledge that all of them got up to shit on the road. Between innuendo laden interviews and songs, videos and accounts of their parties, stories CT has put online, and other stories like the one of Roger bringing out lines of coke as dessert when he was having dinner with motley crue. They definitely embraced the rock and roll lifestyle. And I think with Roger’s personality being what it is, it’s easy to link him to those traditional rock star tropes and say it was all true all the time. I also think Roger has done nothing to counter those beliefs. He’s been open about how he wanted to be a rock star since the minute he picked up a guitar, he’s labelled himself as a great lay in magazines, he’s joked about girls pulling their tits out over dinner in interviews (though he said he didnt take her home), he’s written songs like One Night Stand and Dirty Mind and Airheads which explicitly mention his preference for women and alcohol. I think it’s fair to say he’s kind of encouraged that view of himself. Whether it was just a side effect of being part of such a well known band and having such a boisterous demeanour/personality, or whether it was intentional as a version of promotion i don’t know. maybe a mix of them? I mean I’m sure it didn’t hurt sales and stuff. it’s the whole guys want to be him, girls want to be with him thing, right? Maybe that’s just me being cynical though lmao. 

Anyway, the fandom brain has taken all of that and compressed it into memes and jokes about rog being the band slut. Which i’m not complaining about, lord knows i’ve made the same jokes and reblogged the same posts and used those tropes in my fics. They’re funny and lend themselves to interesting fic concepts. Plus, i think roger is the sort of person who would probably laugh about most of it. But it’s an idea that keeps feeding into itself through fandom, perpetuating what is probably a misguided view of his personal life.

Again, I am sure he’s had his fair share of fun and I’m not trying to make out that he was always perfect or whatever, but I don’t think he’s been with as many women as the popular discourse would imply and I certainly don’t think he’s in the 4 digit numbers. 

Dragons and Fireflies

Waitttt! If you havent read the previous chapters I wouldnt advise reading this. Here's the link for the rest of the chapters if you need to go back. https://my.w.tt/gYNayRx9rcb

Since the ones on my tumblr...are forever lost now😔 Anyway those who read it please enjoy!

Chapter 7: Buried Memories

"Juvia is so sorry, Anna~sama. She never thought things would turn out so...complicated."

All Anna could do was carress her temples in order to calm herself down. After all she was getting older, and she couldn't let such things stress her out anymore. Unless she wanted an early grave dug of course.

" It's quite alright Juvia. It isnt as big of a deal as it seems."

Juvia couldnt help but breathe a sigh of relief at her reassuring comment. She would never forgive herself if she ever endangered the bands success with her selfishness.

"Oh thank goodness-"

"If you clean up the mess you made."

Juvia's heart stopped as she held her breath. As she took in her words silently, a million questions popped into her head. That she was too afraid to hear the answer to. What on earth did she mean by that? And the bigger question was how could she possibly even fix this mess? Anna's eyes softened as she met Juvia's worried ones.

"We need to figure out how the public would take this whole misunderstanding first and then address the situation publicly. Thats the smartest thing to do at this moment. Until then I will discuss the predicament with the Dragonflies manager."

As Juvia listened for the click of her door, she could finally breathe a sigh of relief. She had known when she had seen the photo in the paper, things would get bad. But she never thought this bad. And now the world was convinced Gray Fullbuster from the popular band 'Dragonflies' was her secret lover.

It was even worse they were competitors, both fighting for the top spot of best band. Why did she do it? Get involved with Gray Fullbuster? Her reasons were something personal to her, close to her heart that was from the past that she so desired to forget. It wasnt his looks or anything, although she couldnt deny his attractiveness.

She knew the rumors were true, after all she had seen for her own eyes the damage he could do to a woman. And she wouldnt be one of those who was affected by his charms. She refused to. She was the one who was going to teach him how women were to be treated, and not as playthings.

She was going to do it...for her. But she messed things up because of her anger, and now look at what happened. Her head was pounding with past emotions steadily creeping back from their place pushed deep down in her heart. It made her clench her fists in irritation and helplessness. Maybe she hadnt changed from all those years ago. The nightmares also flooded back to her, making her freeze in her own body. She shook in frustration with herself.

Did she even change at all? No, she wasnt that naive girl from years ago anymore, and she would never be again. Too much had happened for that. She never thought this would go so far, and affect her friends though. Her bandmates meant the world to her, and she would never hurt them purposely. After all, they saved her from her wretched life, after she had fallen so deep into despair. Gajeel...

She felt tears well up in her eyes before she couldnt help but scowl at her emotions getting the best of her once again. She chuckled dryly. She never was one for hiding her emotions, and her faces always told the world how she felt. She despised that with her entire being.

Although with Gray, it was easy to hide them, and she doubted he cared about them anyway. Thats why he was so easy to manipulate at the time. Its not like Juvia wasnt worried about her image at all. In fact it was probably tainted just by even being seen with that womanizer.

Her image in the band was supposed to be the innocent but sexy one, and men went crazy over it. Her merchandise being the most bought out in stores. She remembered when Lucy made a fuss about it, chastising Anna of giving her the wrong image for the band

And Juvia couldn't help but muffle her laughs with her hand in the background.

Her heart warmed at the memory and it made her clutch at her heart thinking of losing that small happiness. They were just taking off and already making merchandise, because Anna was sure that they would become a success fast. Juvia couldnt help but wonder that maybe Anna had made the wrong choice letting her into Fireflies.

"Juvia? Juvia! I have been calling your name for 5 minutes now!" She jumped at the sudden noise and swung her head up. She thought she had locked the door.

"Ahh Levy-san. What do you need?" Juvia asked exasperated.

She tried to wipe her stray tears quickly, turning her face in embarrassment. She hadn't even noticed she had cried. Levy did nothing but stare at her for a minute, before walking over and plopping down on the couch right beside her.

" You know, the girls are really not upset or anything. If thats what...you're crying about?"

Juvia looked into her cocoa irises and Levy met hers. They were full of worry.

"Honestly Juvia is fine. She just...regrets causing you guys so much trouble." Juvia tried to put on a smile but it came out as an obvious grimace.

"You really didnt. After all anyone who doesnt know that females have sexual needs too, know now."

"Huh???"

"Sexual needs? I read it in a reproduction book too. Apparently women have the most urge for it during pregnancy. Wait could this be-"

"Oh nooo Levy-san, this incident has nothing to do with...that."

"Oh. So not at all? You didnt...do anything?"

"Heavens no. Im not that kind of girl." Juvia gave her a reassuring smile, while Levy wiped her brow in relief.

"Cana lost 50 bucks today." She smiled staring a little too hard at her lap.

" What do you mean Levy-san?" She was beginning to feel suspicious.

"Well umm..."

"Levy..."

" Alright, alright! The girls made a bet about if you slept with Gray or not. Of course I bet that you didnt, but Cana got into my head and made me think things...something about girls needing devouring too. So I read up on it and..."

Juvia stared in disbelief as Levy squirmed under her gaze. A giggled echoed throughout the room, making Levy jump in surprise.

" Of course she did! Cana-san is always talking about things like that."

When Levy saw the laughter wasnt of anger or irritation, she laughed along too.

" Yeah, and Lucy chastised her for even thinking of you being so careless. She said' Juvia would only do dirty things like that when she's married.' "Levy took a breath before she continued.

" And then Cana said 'Listen hunny, if you have a good sex life, all the worries go away. Thats why I have no gray hair yet and ole Lucy does.' "Levy couldnt help but chuckle at her own impersonation of Cana.

Juvia laughed at her words. She wished she would have been there to hear the rest but she had been stuck in her room, hiding for at least two days. Levy placed a small pale hand on hers.

" Dont hide from us, ok Juvia? We miss you." She then gave her a tight squeeze, wrapping her arms around Juvia's whole body.

Juvia sat there, stiff as a board but she hugged her back silently. She allowed some tears to slip down now. After all this was a special moment. She had forgotten her friends were such kind souls, and they would be accepting of just about everyone. That didnt mean Juvia could just accept herself whole-heartedly though.

She would always be dirty in her own eyes. As she waved goodbye to Levy and she heard the click of her door, she laid back and stared at the white of her ceiling. What did Anna mean 'clean up her mess'? And what would that entail?

top 10 gay homophobic media?

ok well literally nothing can compare to hannibal its the pinnacle like peak homophobia peak weird insane gay energy that makes me feel like my brain is in a wind tunnel which i think is getting me on a bizarre track here its spiritual cousin killing eve also gay and kinda homophobic just inherent in the we are gay and also into murder genre....... KIDS ON THE SLOPE love the energy of it like yes theres so much subtext its practically text yes the most gay one just ghosts everyone after getting hit by a car and falls off the face of the earth and becomes a priest ripped my brain out of my skull thank u so much <3 i think jojo deserves a shoutout with the ambiguously gay protags calling other gay people slurs while they just got out of modeling for the extremely homoerotic chapter covers also cuz u sent this to my anime blog and thats an anime lol oh other anime i havent seen and wont seen but is gay and homophobic banana fish lol im not sure if you mean things that level of crazy tho my friends are saying shameless i have no idea what that is i havent seen it so dont send me asks about it <3 i think glee is inherently homophobic by existing <3 like theres also just like many things that just have like both crazy subtext and are just like wow we think gay people are a joke like thats dime a dozen frankly no idea if this is 10 mwah i havent slept in 20 hours and vibing! sorry if this is incomprehensible <3 edit : my friends all think i should give supernatural a shout out and i will since the fans have been giving me constant entertainment for over a month i will say killing a main gay character after they confess their love and never mention them again is a pretty high bar <3