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stories-of-the-multiverse · 6 months

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((So. Remember this post when I gave a certain someone the benefit of the doubt?

Yeah, well, they tried to worm their way back via my fucking boyfriend now, so fuck any and all goodwill, I am sick of this shit.

So, screenshots and names now, fuck 'em!

Meet love-is-in-the-multiverse! The person that will not leave no matter how kindly you tell them to stop!

Sadly, I only have screenshots of the last time we talked and my boyfriend's screenshots. So I'll just have to summarize my experiences up till the final confrontation without screenies.

So, Love, formerly known as mollypico, was a FNF/Newgrounds RPer I met when they approached me for a starter. Since then they, they got very smothering, spamming my inbox with OOC convos that honestly overwhelmed me. I tried to give her other options, I really did. But in the end, she didn't take them. I changed the rules a bit to reflect this newfound boundary, and at first she seemed willing to respect it. But then turned around and continued because "She had no other options". So for the sake of my sanity, I blocked her.

Her response was to send a few friends after me asking why. And I tried to explain it to them as kindly as possible.

After that, they tried approaching me with new accounts passing themself off as someone else. The accounts were deleted by the time I looked in my notifs on my phone and saw them in the morning.

Eventually, she came to a new account and via messages apologized. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and accepted because she was finally keeping this stuff in IMs. And sometimes in those convos, she'd bring up fandoms and characters she played that were... suspiciously exactly the same as those other accounts that deleted.

It did not make her any less pushy and smothering, rushing me for starters, getting impatient with me not responding immediately. It all added up.

One day, I decided that people that killed my enjoyment here would get blocked. That included her. She tried to bypass this by making new accounts to talk to me. Twice. Once to act as if she wasn't one of the people I blocked. And the other to explain herself. I blocked those too.

Some time later, I was followed by two new accounts. One called "hate-in-the-multiverse" or something along those lines, and the other called afriendtoall. Who claimed she was an IRL friend of Love, and was the one that actually talked to me. Although Hate did send an ask, but not much else came of it.

Friend was frankly not all that different from her. It did not help matters when I started approaching a very stressful change that is still ongoing. And I started having suspicions.

Spoiler alert, I was right;

I then blocked her and soon after, I saw she deleted the account when I tried to block across all my blogs. I didn't screenshot it, but after this last message, she wished me well and said she'd leave me alone.

Cut to tonight! Picture this! I was in a call with a friend, having fun reading a graphic novel to them, and then I look to see a message from my boyfriend, and he sends these [censoring his name and icon for his safety]

So, after I tell her to leave me alone for good, she instead tries to worm her way into contact with my boyfriend and followed him again. And I am pissed.

He confronted her as soon as he saw.

"Oh mistew, I was just cuwious, uwu"

Yeah, nevermind you followed him. Knowing fully well that we interact a lot on Tumblr.

So yeah, fuck it, you win, you got my attention with your stupid game. Now here's your stupid prize.

RPers beware. Block her. If you RP FNF/NewGrounds, Danganronpa, My Hero Academia, I think Undertale/Deltarune, possibly any other game/anime/whatever, block. Her. Ass. On sight. Don't even give her a chance. Take it from me, she will drain you, and then make you feel horrible for feeling drained by her/not being in the mood to talk.

She's not worth it. Put yourselves first.

#OOC #Drama CW #Tumblr Drama CW #Negative CW #Callout Post CW #Callout CW #RPers Beware #Roleplayers Beware #You brought this on yourself Love

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askfallenroyalty · 1 year

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I have a political question: how come humans allow Monsters to retain absolutist rule? Surely, in the peace process one way or another they would've made them adopt at least some democracy (and it's not like they would be bad at it, if the scraps of information we have in Deltarune are anything to go by). And is there any plan on changing this in the redraw version?

I think that's a huge oversimplification and misses how even the UK, second biggest imperialist kingdom, still has royalty. (And they're not "just" figure heads, they still have power and waste tax payer money. Parasites)

Not going Deep into it but for example the US will aid against democracy if it benefits them. It's an established plot point that the reason humanity hasn't out right exploded monsterkind as capitalism is making a return and uses monsters for profit

Theres also missing context I haven't got to explore much of yet- humanity had a third world War and it was a near apocalyptic event. But its also been a while so modern tech has only advanced (handwaves) only by a few decades instead of the full 100 years. We'll see more of this with Raine+Franky and Billy+Ursus backstories.

This is mostly my way of overlooking the details of the future. Why don't they have flying cars and super advanced tech? Fucked up war. Climate Change? Fucked up war. Any country name changes? Fucked up war. I can keep it as earth but I can name drop fake country names so I don't have to talk about IRL politics

The hyper capitalism of modern times is returning and tech has only really recovered within the last couple decades. It's an active fight to keep human rights and more socialist practices. Asriel decided to lean into capitalism (learning in part from MTT’s success) because it's easier than opposing the world forces who are already predisposed to hate you because you're literally a non human race. Which I... get.... but it tangibly worsens monsterkind.

Raine will gradually push the capitalsim-to-survive narrative and embrace a different form of government that embraces the people

#ooc #Tbd #Not art #000000 #000 #00000 #Politics

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cyber-rory13 · 4 days

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Hello everybody!

My names Rory, and I’m back on tumblr for the bajillionth time and rebranding for the bajillionth time (seriously why did I ever leave in the first place, I love yall)

Anyways… here’s my whole spiel about who I am, what I do, etc.

^^^ where I post from lolz. Anyways, here are the basic stats

Name/what y’all can call me - Rory, Cyber Rory, idk anything else just not any of my old names if you know them

Age - 19

God what else do you put in these OH OMG

Pronouns - irl they/them, online they/it (and ask about neos if interested)

Sexuality/gender identity - i identify as bisexual, abrosexual, and gender-fluid (please do not use he/him or she/her even if I say I feel more masculine/feminine, they/them is always preferred)

What’s my deal - I’m an artist! Previously I never really posted my own stuff, but now I want to start doing that. Obviously I’ll still repost things I like, but it’s not gonna be my whole page lolz. I started taking my art more seriously since I switched my major from marine bio to a double major in art and psych (physics and chem are too hard) I’m currently not in school (I had to withdraw during the middle of my first semester due to mental health issues, but I’m going back this fall! So excited!!)

What kind of art? - glad you asked. Im really into Frutiger aero and cybercore at the moment, so that’s what I usually base my art around, but I really don’t have one set style/“aesthetic” in my art. I go in between Frutiger aero, cybercore, y2k, scene, mizuiro, and basically anything else that I can sneak the color blue in

Other fun things about me

Music I’m into - I don’t mean to be one of those “oh I’m into everything” kind of people, as it’s not fully true, but it’s true like 90% of the time. My favorite genres right now are metal core, emo, whatever Ayesha erotica, millionaires, and slayyyter are, and ambient instrumentals (more specifically cybercore ambience and the little big planet soundtrack) I will not listen to most country, and pop music is very hit or miss, but other than that I usually like everything else. Specific bands I’m into include bad omens, mcr, motionless in white, spiritbox, and pierce the veil

Shows/Animes I’m into - hot take but I really don’t like to watch tv *gasp* I know I know, but it’s so hard for me to start new shows and keep watching them, especially if episodes are longer than 20-30 mins. Even with anime I have a hard time watching shows that I wasn’t into over a year ago. I’m really into JJK, Haikyuu, Yuri on Ice (rip), the aquatope on white sands, and tbhk

Other things I’m into - just gonna dump them all here lolz. Blues clues, Winnie the Pooh, stuffed animals (NOT squishmallows, hot take sorry) deltarune/undertale, sally face, Fran bow, project sekai (forgot to put vocaloid in music lolz), and the ds and Wii era Nintendo

ALMOST DONE

I’ll be setting up either a card or a link tree hopefully soon, but I’m also on TikTok (regretfully) and instagram, both are @/cyber.rory13 if y’all are interested. Eventually I hope to open up commissions and/or a sticker and print shop, but for now I’m waiting til I have more traction on my socials as shops cost money, and I’ve been unemployed since October (starting work in may tho!) so I don’t want to make that investment quite yet. Commissions however, I’m open to the idea of them, so if you are interested feel free to message me and we can talk about details there (they will have to be digital or traditional transferred to digital). And finally, the moment like one of y’all has been waiting for, some of my actual art!

Digital

Traditional

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy, my page is a safe place and feel free to reblog really engage anyway if you’d like to be mutuals! Slay queen!!

#frutiger aero #webcore #nintendo #artists on tumblr #traditional art #digitial art #bad omens #my chemical romance #cybercore #mutuals #yo mama #genderfluid #bisexual #abrosexual #jjk #yuri on ice #tbhk #neurodivergent #slayyyyy

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jeweledstone · 5 months

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Had another weird-ass dream a few whiles ago that I made art of cause fuck you

DATE: JUNE 1/2, 2023

It was another “me younger in school” dream, but it took place a lot earlier in my life than other school dreams. Usually that genre of dream takes place either in high school or 6th grade middle school, but this one seemed to be way back in either 2nd or 3rd grade (it was 2008 apparently, the latter half of my elementary school days). Despite this dream taking place a literal DECADE before Deltarune was even a concept in the public eye, my Spamton and Jevil plushies were there with me as sorta “emotional support” buddies of sort. (To be fair though, I was holding them when I fell asleep, which is the standard method for my “sentient” plushies to enter the dream realm with me)

I remember that the teacher in this dream-version of my school was a different one from the actual teacher I had in that year of school irl, both in appearance and the fact that she was MUCH meaner than any teacher I’ve ever had. (Like, even my 1st grade teacher would think she’s insane, and she’s why I’m suicidal now) This dream teacher was always insistent on targeting me exclusively, always finding excuses to yell at or punish me despite being perfectly normal with the other students. Didn’t help that in this particular version of my school, kids that “got in trouble” a lot were forced to stay in the basement of the school overnight, said basement contained a literal Cerberus-like hellhound that would stalk/hunt down the students all night and basically maul them if they got caught.

So yeah, as you can imagine, having that kinda toxicity in my life was awful for my mental health. Young me, of course, was too anxiety to speak up about it at all, so I ended up turning to the only “people” who I knew for certain would have my back.

My fucking sentient Deltarune plushies.

Specifically my Jevil plushie, who came with a rather odd (and probably illegal now that I think about it) solution to all this. Turns out, the little guy was actually a master programmer (I guess that makes sense, I mean, he CAN do anything after all if he’s to be believed) and made this weird… Microchip? Thingy? That he would basically sneak into my teacher’s ear while she was distracted. Said chip was supposed to kinda-sorta feed her subliminal messages of sorts that would make her like me more and thus stop borderline abusing me.

Seems simple enough, right? Well…

It ended up working fine in my favor, the teacher ended up not being mean to me anymore, even eventually considering me her “favorite”.

But after a few weeks of chill, then came some…

Admittedly predictable…

…Side effects…

My thought’s exactly, little me.

So, yeah, I accidentally ended up causing my teacher to start slowly transforming into Jevil. Fuck me.

And what makes it worse (at least lore-wise) is that she has appeared in later dreams that took place in the present day, having become a full demon because of that stupid chip, implying I (or at least that particular version of me) never was able to stop the tfmc going on and turn her back to normal.

But yeah, that’s all I gotta say for this one. Can’t believe I procrastinated on this one for so long lmao

Whatever, see ya! :)

#jewel’s dream journal #deltarune #spamton #jevil #me irl #my art #unreality #body horror #child abuse mention #ask to tag

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puppyluver256 · 2 years

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[Image Description: Two women, one dressed as Queen from chapter 2 of Deltarune. The woman on the left has light skin, pinkish-blonde hair in a messy ponytail, and brown eyes. She is wearing a novelty jack-o-lantern costume that consists of an orange sleeveless shirt with yellow shapes forming a face and a matching stem headpiece. The pumpkin shirt is worn over a green turtleneck sweater and green pants, and she is also wearing brown work boots with a layer of mud caked on the soles. She has her arms crossed in front of her and appears frustrated. The woman on the right has light skin and violet hair, her eyes hidden by the visor of her costume's headpiece. She is wearing a white bodysuit, a blue and black vest with a lavender collar, a white ascot, blue elbow-length gloves, black knee-high boots, and a blue helmet with a black visor projecting red lettering reading "lmao". She is holding a wine glass containing lime green fluid, her free hand on her hip as she looks toward the other woman with a teasing grin. End ID.]

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More Cantessy costumes with Tiwlip and Susanna! I knew I was going to have Tiwlip dress as a traditional Halloween symbol and Susanna be something not only much more recent, but also technology-themed. So of course Tiwlip is a jack-o-lantern! Woulda technically been even more traditional for her to be a turnip instead of a pumpkin, but she was real busy with farm work and only had enough time to pop down to the in-universe equivalent of Party City and grab something last minute. Good thing this isn't a contest, huh? As for Susanna, who better for the tech fan to dress as than a literal computer? I know there's some irl costumes that people've made that do some real neat stuff with LEDs, something as comparatively simple as making her visor do the silly things that Queen does in-game should be no problem. ...Don't worry about the "battery acid", it's just Gatorade. Though I guess to some people it's not that much of a difference, depends on your opinion on Gatorade ;P

💖🐶 Check out my pinned post for ways to support my artwork, among other things! 🐶💖

~Likes are appreciated, but reblogs are greatly preferred as they let more people see my content! If you have something to say, feel free to give feedback in tags/comments/replies as well!~

Pokemon and related concepts © Nintendo/GameFreak Queen and other Deltarune concepts © Toby Fox Tiwlip Ellington, Susanna Newport, the Cantessy region, and artwork © PuppyLuver Studios

#pokemon #pokemon trainer #cantessy region #team fields tiwlip #team wires susanna #deltarune #deltarune chapter 2 #queen (deltarune)#halloween #jess drew the thing #sfw #image description

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atwas-gaming · 11 months

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Okay, this post was admittedly pretty incoherent because I was mad at the time.

Undertale and Deltarune form a pretty good cross-section of American society. There's gays, divorcees, nerds, jocks, people who appear to have been abused, and- as one Tumblr user I saw a while back put it- every single character in both games needs some kind of therapy.

And there are Christian players that I've seen that brag about playing Undertale in one post and then deliberately and viciously attack gays in the next.

This is the very definition of hypocrisy.

I am not saying "don't play Undertale," that is between you and God.

I am not saying Christians should condone homosexuality, because the Bible clearly calls it a sin.

What I am saying is that we are all sinners, even those of us who have accepted Jesus. Christians are just sinners saved by grace, and we got no right deliberately hating on others for their sins. And we sure as heck ain't go no right being in the fandom for a bit of media that has so many gays, and then going out attacking them.

It just makes me wonder, why do you even play this game if you hate people who act just like the characters in the game? Or do you play it just so you can claim a foothold and hate on the irl people who also play it and who do relate to the characters? Cuz that's really messed up.

#my opinion #homoseuxality #hypocrisy

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laptoparmageddon · 3 months

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Are you actually sick? I know you've slowed down updates or whatever but what's happening?

Yeah I'm still sick and stuff. People have been wondering about the Deltarune blog updates but I can't keep up as much as I use to.

I haven't gotten into much detail since like- last year?? Because I felt that the constant "yep I'm still sick!" Updates were getting a biiit annoying but yeah I'm still not better. In fact, I've gotten worse!

My physical condition has gotten so bad to the point I'll be in random bouts of pain I call "the agony". Due to this, I can't leave my house as often anymore as the pain is too severe and I never know when it'll happen. That pluss migraines and other pains that I can't figure put either have made just being awake a NIGHTMARE. Not to mention the whole being able to spit blood thing... and my worsening memory. I just call it old man disease at this point.

And don't get me STARTED on the actual nightmares. I usually type down my dreams for potential inspiration but these are so bad that od prefer to forget them... it's probably a sign of poor mental health, that of which has gotten worse due to life situations, not just counting the physical health stuff. I'm not going to go into detail about ot. You guys don't need to know everything.. in one of my previous comic posts, I mentioned that I had recently gotten diagnosed with PTSD. It makes sense considering everything that's happened.. that's how bad things are now...

I'm thankfully seeing a new therapist now (my old one left and also wasn't very helpful regarding the spending habits..) so we're working on dealing with the mountain of problems that apparently were never properly treated over the years. Wow! It might take years to make any progress considering irl situations right now. I should be getting some medicine soon. It'll be difficult to remember taking it due to my shit memory but I gotta try. O also gotta work on the gacha stuff.. apparently my poor self restraint is one of the many unfortunate mental health symptoms. One day I will defeat gacha gaming. (Or at least get in the habit of not to spending so much...)

I haven't seen a medical doctor yet, unfortunately. I've tried making appointments but they never answer my calls... ots been who knows how long since I've seen one .I most certainly can't remember. I'm hoping to see one soon as I'd like to at least know what's happening to me but I don't know if oll ever be able to.. with work and thr pain and the life situations ot might be a few more months. Hey! Maybe I'll be dead by then? Who knows, i definitely don't! I don't want to go to the ER or urgent care as waiting times in my area are too long for me to handle. And again the memory and reading compression. In my condition, I'd need someone to be with me in case something goes wrong (it has in the past). My primary doctor is the only doctor aware of my situation and would be prepared if I suddenly forgot why I was there or something. (Yes it's gotten that bad at points) but making an appointment myself has proven to be very troubling...

So yeah. I haven't been doing very good in any way shape or form. I'm sorry to have worried yall about it and I doubt going into detail has helped but I feel it best that you know how much I'm currently up against and why updates are slower than usual. I'll get to stuff eventually, you'll just have to wait.

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dogboyjackkennedy · 4 months

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i. may or may not have made a Dsaf oc/self insert type thing (it's both because, appearance and partially personality wise, xe's based off of me irl. but backstory stuff is pretty different).

named the little guy Morgan Bane. he's sort of the "Jack of All Trades" in Dsaf 3. he's kinda one of the only main workers in Jack's restaurant.

time for some background on this lil guy:

they're genderqueer. and just queer in general.

they've got that LGBTQ+ Christian Religious Trauma™

Autistic and an Utter Anxious Wreck <3

associated with the color blue.

left home after college and went to go stay with a friend for a bit.

got a job at Jack's restaurant because Why Not, and also because she was also considering doing something similar later in her life and wanted to get some first hand experience with how these places work.

xe views Jack as a mentor of sorts. which uh. Makes A Certain Version Of The Legacy/Evil Route For This Guy Particularly Fucked Up!

please ask me about the Morgan and Dave (Pre-Henry Trauma) parallels i could go on for hours please-

during the Legacy Route, Morgan will accidentally walk in on Jack and Dave about to murder the baby, but will stand in shock and horror, trying to stammer out a question to Jack "B-Boss, I- What in God's name are you-?!"

there's two versions of Morgan during the Legacy Route (well...technically four if you count the routes where he'd get framed, but we won't count those for this-): one where Jack and Dave choose not to get Morgan involved, and simply threaten him into silence (which works), or uh...well, Anyone Heard Of The Snowgrave Route From Deltarune Chapter 2-?

so here's how it works, right? Good/Neutral Routes = Morgan is generally friendly towards Jack, and is actually quite eager to talk with him! Legacy Route (Normal) = Morgan is scared of Jack and will actively avoid him, and will fidget nervously whenever the two do interact. at the end, after Phone Guy gets done with his lecture, Morgan will give a much shorter one: "I...don't really know what there is to say. Y'know, I'm not one to say this lightly, but I believe that you deserve to hear this: Don't keep the Devil waiting, sir." Legacy Route (Snowgrave Edition) = same as Normal Legacy Route, except Somehow Worse, and gets dragged into Even More Shit. this poor boy. he needs a hug. and a fucking break.

Morgan is just sending. so many distress signals to Harry. So Many. help it.

also, i thought it would be interesting if Morgan had a QnA thing like the Phone Guy does in the game. have some differences in dialogue between Good/Neutral Route answers and Legacy (Snowgrave) answers for a few questions:

"Tell me about your family."

Good/Neutral: "Oh, well...my family are rather loving people, don't get me wrong; they said they only ever wanted the best for me, sir. They just weren't quite...accepting, you see. We had some disagreements, you could say. I love them all dearly, it's just...they don't love me for who I am, you know? They don't hate me; God no. They're just...rather set in their ways and faith, just as I am in mine.

It's...complicated, shall we say. We haven't talked much since I left for college...."

Legacy (Snowgrave): "Oh, well...our relationship isn't perfect, sir. Not by a long shot...b-but we still keep in touch rather often, I-I assure you! I can promise you that I've certainly been keeping in touch with them regularly for the past three years!

...

Why are you staring at me like that? I'm not lying! I-I do!"

"Who's this "friend" you keep talking about?"

Good/Neutral: "Oh, they're the sweetest! We've known each other for years, ever since we were little. They actually gave me a place to stay while I got my life somewhat in order. I'll be forever grateful for it.

I...don't know what I'd do without them, sir..."

Legacy (Snowgrave): "Oh...the friend I keep talking about? Well...we talk often, I lived with them for a while during college, and I feel like I could tell them anything."

(I see. And what would their name happen to be, Morgan?)

"....W-With all due respect, sir, I don't feel comfortable telling you that.

I-I'm not risking.....Of all the people in my life, I can't lose them. Please, I can't..."

"What do you know about Henry, Employee?" (note: in the Legacy Route, this question would be purple and would have a smiley face at the end)

Good/Neutral: "...Henry? as in Henry Miller? Well...I'll admit I don't know much. I know he was the co-owner of Fredbear's Family Diner, he was a doctor of sorts (apparently), and that he went missing in 1983.

...I'll be honest with you, sir. I might not've been alive when he was, but all the photos I've seen...he's got bad vibes. I don't know what it is, maybe the smile...? Just...ugh, he gives me the heebie jeebies and he's not even alive anymore...."

Legacy (Snowgrave): "W-Why did you ask it like that, sir? And...why're you looking at me like that..?

U-Um, well, I-I know he co-owned this place called Fredbear's Family Diner and that he went missing in the early 80's...but that's about it...

...W-Why did you need to know? Why are you still looking at me like that, sir?!"

"Do you have any hopes and dreams?"

Good/Neutral: "Well, y'know how this place is? And Chuck E. Cheese? I was thinkin'...maybe I could open my own place like this someday. Y'know, not a Freddy's or Chuck E's, but...my own little place! You think I could do it?

(...Yeah, you seem like you'd do great, Morgan.)

Really?! I- Thank you, sir!"

Legacy (Snowgrave): "...Well...I hope to get a better job someday. Maybe get married to someone.

.....Why do you ask sir?

...Sir? Jesus, you really like staring at me like that..."

"What do you think of me and your job here?" (note: same as the Henry question during the Legacy Route)

Good/Neutral: "Oh, well...you're certainly blunt, sir. B-But I don't mean that as a bad thing at all! You're a great boss! And this job, while it's certainly...chaotic at times, it's still one of the greatest I've had!"

(...Really? Wow...I feel kinda bad for you, Employee.)

N-no, I'm being serious! I like making people happy, and what better job for that than this one?

...Sure, this place hasn't had...the best track record of making people happy, but I hope to change that!"

Legacy (Snowgrave): "...Well, that depends. Do you want the truth, or do want to hear what you want to hear?"

(The Truth, Morgan.)

"....Sir, I have blood on my hands that can never be washed off. I feel too scared to fall asleep, afraid that I'll see that poor baby's face when I close my eyes.

...I'm also scared that either see you or Dave one standing over me, ready to..."silence" me...but that's neither here nor there...

...But I also know that I'm in too deep to back out now.

...So what real choice do I have, sir?"

2. (Well, that also depends...how much do you value your life, Morgan? :))

"...Well, in that case:

This is one of the greatest jobs I've ever had! Love you and my coworkers! Yep! Definitely don't live in terror every waking (and sleeping) moment, sir! Nope! Not at all! Heh heh..."

(Morgan nervously fidgets with her cross necklace, nervously looking behind you towards the door of The Office.

It seems like they're ready to make a break for it at a moment's notice. He tries to smile wide, but it doesn't reach his eyes.)

anyway, please send some asks about Morgan i'd love to talk about my lil dude here!! :D

#dsaf #dsaf oc #meet my boy Morgan. please ask about him :]

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bankburch18 · 1 year

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What is this Site?

About

Other websites on the internet

Email is [my username] at outlook dot com

Who are you?

I'm InvisibleUp. You can call me Viz. I'm your friendly neighborhood internet ghost. OOOoooOOoo~...

I'm not a fan of the creepy stuff. I'd like to think of myself as an honest, loving person. Above all else I'm determined to help people be the best them that they can be. I'm not interested in being uncool, or sexist, or demeaning. I hope you don't feel bad if you're having a bad day. You can always just relax here and read about Sonic, AOL, or whatever. A friend of mine once said to me that I was "a breath of fresh air" and I'll accept that as an invitation to be the spring breeze in your sails.

IRL I'm not bald, and I'm alive. In fact, I'm a young woman (with an incredible amount of curly reddish hair) currently in college studying electrical engineering. I'm a specialist in embedded device design and have worked on some amazing things, such as space satellites and the overhaul of a department's reporting system.

Retro technology (everything is more fascinating when there are limits), indie games and riding my bike through nature trails, public transport and Sonic the Hedgehog are all things I am passionate about. I am always willing to try new things. Who knows? Perhaps I'll discover a new thing I like. It's always a lot of fun.

What is this site?

It's mostly a place to dump random thoughts. It's broken down into a few broad categories.

The Articles section, the first one with semi-regular content, is where I try to provide explanations and/or gush about topics that I am interested in or things I'm working on. It's not updated frequently because it is difficult to come up with new content.

The Hacking notes contains some tips and utilities for modders of old video games. There are also the Projects which include more substantial material that I've worked on and can stand on its own. Finally, there is the Doodles which is where I try to express myself in a creative way.

Any favorite games/webcomics/whatever?

I am a bit of video gamer. While I do occasionally play them, I wouldn't call myself a gamer. I think the entire medium is neat, what people can do with it their experiences and the emotions they can express and how they can use what they have to their advantage. Some games that I'm enjoying either right now or in the past are Night in the Woods, deltarune, Tetris Attack, a majority of the Sonic series and Minecraft.

For films, my all time favorites include Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Forrest Gump, About Time, and Kiki's Delivery Service. I prefer plots that have strong character interactions over flashy grand plots.

My musical preferences are... unusual. Truthfully, SoundCloud, YouTube, and old video games have shaped my musical tastes way too much. What I like is either earworms with good basslines (I love 80's Jpop and the 00's alternative) or instrumental tracks that let you feel the music, not just listen to it. (Stuff like Fleetwood Mac and Styx, Blue Album-era Beatles and Pink Floyd.

What's with the username?

Surprisingly brief story actually. I was watching a Mario gaming marathon for charity (by the now defunct group ExtraLives, headed by MonotoneTim, who is a pretty cool dude) and I needed an account username for the chat. CLUB I thought, "You know what's awesome?" The Boo mushrooms from Super Mario Galaxy that turn you into a ghost." So after a solid 15 seconds of thinking, I wrote "InvisibleUp" and stuck with it. (In hindsight, I should have chosen something that had fewer syllables.

And the ghostsona?

I started out for years with a logo that looked vaguely like a ghost from Pac-Man. I really wanted a unique profile pic, so I made one. That being said, a few years later I decided that it kinda sucked. I felt a need to have an actual kind of human face to represent my posts instead of just some weird abstract logo thing. I wanted to have a more personal presence on the 'net than I had let myself have before. So, I came up with Inviz.

It's possible that she was inspired by Napstablook from Undertale and Vivian from Paper Mario TTYD. I could have drawn myself as a human, but I wanted to give it a go at creating characters. You know, I need to keep the ghost theme in motion. Also, I'm a bit snarky about privacy to show my actual face.

#MINECRAFT SERVERS #MINECRAFTSERVERS #CLUB

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sw4tch · 2 years

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Rotating Ralsei in my mind...

Going by the theory that he's Kris's old red horns brought to life, and that's why he's so lost in regards to what his own identity separate from Kris should be ("what it should mean to be Ralsei-like") I can't stop thinking about what his motivations are, and where his loyalities lie.

Ralsei seems to be aware of the Player to some extent. He can give Tutorials to the player (which in universe seem weird to other characters, like Susie who doesn't get what press Z means).

He triggers cut scenes where the POV of the player shifts away from Kris, and he seems to be aware that He can do that. Like he knows he should follow some sort of script (in ch2, even though we don't get to see the cutscene with Susie and Noelle if we've gone on a snowgrave route, he still wants Susie to tell the player what she experienced. She doesn't, but Ralsei was weirdly insistent on her telling us out loud what her cutscene was about).

He seems to be aware of the irl passage of time (to be fair this could simply be a meta joke, but that Ralsei felt like the time between ch1 and ch2 was Ever So Long instead of literally a single day in universe, might also mean that he's just aware of the passage of time for the player).

Anyway all this to say, Ralsei is basically established to just KNOW he's in a game where there's an outside force (the player) going through the motions.

The only other character that had that kind of knowledge was of course Jevil. [Spamton too, maybe?? But he didn't seem to be... like, aware he's inside a game, but rather that he was stuck forever in the dark world as a slave to the whims of Lightners]

Anyway with Jevil comes the inevitable Gaster (I'm saying Gaster bcus that's the most likely identity of the mystery man right now) connections. The basic premise of course is that Gaster has been sharing his knowledge of the truth of the deltarune world (that their world is just a game for players to play) to certain characters (which have become the secret bosses), and they have gone mad with the knowledge of it.

So, okay.

Following this logic:

Meta aware characters have all some connection to Gaster ->

So far Ralsei has been shown to have some sort of Meta Awareness ->

Ralsei has gained this meta Awareness thanks to having a connection with Gaster.

Right, so that's my working theory right now. That's who has given Ralsei his awareness of the player and the mechanics of the game world.

Now, how does that affect Ralsei?

Circling back again to the start:

In universe, Ralsei might just be the personification of Kris' ideal self when they were young. We know at some point Kris stopped using their red horns, and from their reaction to Ralsei tea, we can sort of infer that Kris no longer likes that ideal self.

So Ralsei's original purpose has been discarded. He's no longer something Kris wants. As an item (red horns) or as an ideal. Big old existential void left there to be filled.

[This might also have been the reason Ralsei covered himself up with his hat in ch1. His explanation for it implies he was nervous Kris wouldn't like him. Of course he'd be nervous about it, Kris has already discarded him. He knows he might not be wanted]

Darkners whole purpose is to Serve Lightners. What are you meant to do when your own personal Jesus Lightner and Creator no longer wants you?

Well, I guess you compensate by becoming overly lovable. Ralsei is extremely devoted to Kris and Susie. More so Kris than Susie (he is insistent in Kris being their sole leader, and in letting others know Kris Is The Most Special One Of Them All with their power to close off fountains and all), but I think he figured that another way to make Kris happy is to make Susie happy (and after ch2, he seems to have come to appreciate Susie as she is).

Anyway, Ralsei seems to have trained himself to become the most endearing and charming he can be. All for the purpose to be helpful, useful to Lightners. To Kris. Or... To the Player?

Right. This is where the question of his meta awareness comes in.

Who is Ralsei more loyal to? Kris or the Player?

After the NEO fight, Ralsei is so QUICK to dismiss everything that happened, as if it really was nothing. Despite Kris being so scared and shaken about it.

He cares more about moving on. And perhaps not ruining the experience for The Player.

Then again, Ralsei does take the time to hug and comfort Kris in order to calm them down.

So maybe it's a bit of both. Ralsei wants to please the Player, but he also wants to be liked by Kris.

Perhaps Ralsei wants to help Kris become free of the influence of the Player by playing the long con until he can work out how to separate Kris from the Player's influence.

But also maybe he just really wants to make the Player's every wish come true. Darkners live to serve, so maybe he believes that Lightners are of a lower importance than the All Knowing All Seeing All Powerful Player?

(Gahh! Who do you like more Ralsei?! Lightners or the Player?!)

And also, if his connection to Gaster is a thing, does Gaster himself influence who Ralsei is becoming more loyal to? Has Gaster adviced Ralsei to become sweet as he can be so the Player can love him?

Has he told him to guide the Player through these dark worlds and make them have a Whimsical Fun Adventure?

Must Ralsei fulfill a narrative purpose as some sort of obligation?

Why is he keeping up the fiction of being a Prince? (His Kingdom had no subjects, his houses were made of cardboard to keep appearances-)

Did Gaster promise that by becoming a lovable NPC, then Ralsei would no longer have to be lonely after being discarded by Kris ?! Is that what's happening?! Is that why we, as the Player, are recruiting more Darkners from other worlds to fill Castle Town?

Also, Ralsei made rooms for Kris and Susie "so they can find refuge in them no matter what's going on in the outside world"

Like, a bunker? Is Ralsei trying to get them all to stay in Castle town forever so they can be saved after the apocalypse happens?

WHY DOES HE NAME CASTLE TOWN AS "PLAYER"TOWN ANYWAY ?!

Anyway This huge ramble is inconclusive for now because it basically boils down to "WHY is Ralsei the way he is" and until we don't get more chapters there's no way to get answers to that.

So, thanks for reading my Many, MANY thoughts about the Fluffy Boi.

#deltarune #having a normal one folks... 😔 ralsei worms in my mind #snaily blabber #long post

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kawia-renka · 2 years

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Can I request some romantic headcanons for Queen from Deltarune? ^^

Romantic Headcanons For Queen

❝ I was very excited to write this, but whenever I'd come across this in my inbox I'd just say 'nope, I'm not ready' . Had to make Queen proud, ya know? ❞

I'm in love with this sprite of Sayori but I am not in love with my posting schedule haha it's bad! ^^

• Girlboss. She is one. But we all already knew that.

• She's definitely the type of person to annoy you just so she'd get your attention. Some of the things she does are; using you as a head resting stool, spamming you irl, asking if you have any games on your phone

• She can be romantic! If she wants to, and for the right person - yes! And when she does, she's amazing.

• Queen is really good at hugging! It's the type of hugs where you don't want to let go, and neither does she so it usually lasts a bit too long.

• She'll spoil you quite a lot. With random things but also affection. Because yes, she can be affectionate.

• She just randomly gifts you presents. These can range from a game you really wanted, to some weird pirate hat she found in the acid river.

• When you started dating ,Queen almost immediately introduced you to all the people in her castle. They all approved of the relationship and, well she is The Queen, disagreeing with her is a no. And besides, you make her happy and that's all that really matters.

• She doesn't mind being affectionate with you while others are watching. But she'd much rather do it when you're both alone. Though on some occasions, she'll act extra affectionate, just to make people jealous. Jealous of her super cool partner that is!

• I think you'd have to be the one who confessed or asked her out. She was confused. She took it as a compliment, before you told her what you *actually* meant. She'd probably reply with something like : "wow, that's cool. Anyway "

• Pet names! She uses some. Basic ones like; dear, darling, dearest. Sometimes she uses those sickly sweet ones, but mostly to annoy/tease you.

• When the lightners showed up (Noelle, Berdly etc.) you were basically just checking what they're doing.

"Y/N Be a Dear My Darling And Please Check On The Kids. "

"The kids?"

"Yup. Noelle And... Uh Mordecai? No, Burghley?? "

"... Berdley? "

"Yes. haha Now Go thx ily"

Yes she actually says it as i-l-y

• Q5U4EX7YY2E9N -I memorized this- cares about you, a lot. And about your health as well. She makes sure you drink water, get a good amount of sleep and get potassium

• I'm sorry but this girl is an r/fellowkids both ironically and unironically. How?? Like, one second she's showing her sick fortnite moves to Berdley. Only to then minutes later call Chaos King a boomer.

#[ 💌•Request Completed ]#queen x reader #deltarune queen #queen deltarune #deltarune headcanons #deltarune x reader #deltarune #Q5U4EX7YY2E9N #deltarune queen x reader #queen deltarune x reader #deltarune chapter 2

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glitteringstardust · 2 years

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hey everyone, welcome to our stim blog! 💖 this blog is run by starlight and ali. likes and follows will be either from ali’s main, or my main @riddlerosehearts. please try to read this post before following or requesting!

also, please note that right now we'd prefer to do stimboard requests for media the mods are familiar with or non-media related things! we have a list of media below the cut and if something isn't mentioned there, you can also check my main or my anime blog (@ritsukageyamas) to see if i'm familiar with it--or just feel free to ask anyway and i'll see if one of us can do it, but be aware we might not be able to.

please DNI with this blog if you fit any of the following:

- blogs dedicated to dd*lg, k*nk, n/sfw, etc stuff

- (no)maps, racists, homophobes, and people who support trump or autism speaks

- pro-shippers/anti-antis

- terfs/truscum

also, please do not use our gifs without linking back to the post on our blog! the posts contain links to the sources we originally giffed the videos from and it’s just incredibly rude not to give credit!

we can do requests for specific kinds of gifs (for example, maybe you wanna see gifs of your favorite ride at disney world, or more gifs of lolita fashion or persian cats, things like that), specific videos if you send a link, or stimboards! under the cut are some guidelines for requests:

- an incomplete list of things i’m really familiar with and would be happy to make boards for are:

kingdom hearts

twisted wonderland

basically anything disney/pixar

just to be clear the above includes pretty much any disney/pixar animated film like frozen, encanto, winnie the pooh, toy story, finding nemo... i’ve basically seen them all more than once because disney is my biggest special interest lol

it also includes some disney tv shows like tangled the series, ducktales, and the owl house!

a3! act addict actors

percy jackson (& rick riordan’s other series)

fullmetal alchemist

fruits basket

ace attorney (i’ve played every game including aai2)

my little pony: friendship is magic

pokemon (lots of pokemon stuff! i like the main games, anime, mystery dungeon, pokemon adventures... practically anything pokemon is fair game lol)

avatar the last airbender

steven universe

neopets

undertale/deltarune

my hero academia

studio ghibli

or tbh pretty much anything i’ve ever posted about on my main or my anime blog! if i've posted a bit about something before then i can probably make boards for it even if it's not listed here, don't be afraid to ask.

and ali is really into the following:

demon slayer

animal crossing

detroit become human

overwatch

squishmallows

doctor who

good omens

danny phantom

sanrio

please do not request the following (we don’t really care if you like these things and interact with us, it's not about your morality or anything like that, we just don’t wanna make boards of them for various reasons):

south park

hetalia

bbc sherlock

game of thrones/a song of ice and fire

hazbin hotel/helluva boss

name stimboards, unless you can give a lot of specifics--we just wouldn't do well with blank inspiration for these, i think.

things involving irl bugs/insects other than butterflies or moths

- but other than that feel free to request basically anything, ships, characters, series, even boards themed around a certain color or animal or anything else you can think of! if ali or i feel uncomfortable with it or would rather not do it for whatever reason we do have the right to reject your request. and keep in mind that whether we do boards based on ships or LGBT+ headcanons may depend on how much we like the ship/headcanon ourselves, but it doesn't hurt to ask for them!

- if you want to send multiple requests, please send them in multiple separate asks so it’s easier for us to keep up with!

- it would be very helpful if you include certain themes/colors you want included in your board! if you don’t give us any info we’ll just do whatever we think fits best for your request, and sometimes that might mean we get the aesthetic/vibes wrong if it’s something we aren’t familiar with! however you can always let us know if you want us to change anything in your board.

- if requesting a character please try to specify the source name!! especially if a character has a lot of different major appearances/outfits, the one we base the board on may influence the stims we use--for example, link from wind waker vs link from breath of the wild

- also please please be patient!! personally i have other blogs that i try to keep at least semi-active and we also have real actual lives so don’t expect us to have your requests done immediately, but if it’s been more than a couple weeks feel free to send it in again or ask for an inbox check.

#star.txt #mod post #stim blog #stimboard requests #pinned post

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cherrymoonvol6 · 3 years

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hmmm i’ve been Thinking about deltarune chapter 2

at this point is it like... too obvious?? that the intention is for the player to connect the dots and conclude that kris is the knight who keeps opening the portals. here are sum hints i’ve gathered:

queen points this out on her monologue right before fighting you on her Huge robot form, but who amongst the lighterns is capable of having enough determination to open a fountain?

also, kris is the ONLY human in the entire town. if deltarune works with similar rules to undertale (the mention of determination by the end of chapter two really bring the theme [back] home) then kris is the only one with enough determination to open these fountains. if not kris... the knight is then most likely to be human, and not at ALL a monster.

again, in queen’s monologue she mentions the knight opens the fountains with its knife, which we see kris doing at the end of chapter two.

all the fountains seem to spawn in places conveniently close to kris and co. first the school, then the library. why? why else would anyone care? why spawn two fountains in literally two consecutive days? i meannnnn

in particular the second fountain spawned the queen, a character that seems to irrationally care so much for noelle to the point of wanting to create a world that accommodates her. why would she even care? she’s a fucking robot. but then we have kris, who cares about noelle - they pretty much grew up together and kris knows things about her that no one else knows, as noelle herself points out during their adventure on the city. like, it kinda makes sense that kris is the one deeply concerned with a fountain that can adapt to her needs and help her feel safer and therefore be more herself, as well. (now did kris ever think that noelle would like, get over her scaredy traits during the adventure? probably not LOL)

based on the animation during the end of chapter two... i feel like kris gets some comfort on their soul from washing it on the fountains. kind of a temporary, extremely brief and extremely comforting pleasure for them. this would explain why they keep spawning. as well as, the entire commentary on chapter two about these fountains bringing happiness to all lighterns involved in the story. which is why i really like that the main characters are all teens: who else would feel powerless, misunderstood, in need of a place to truly fit in? and it’s SO on point with kris too. the game begins with them being lonely both at home and school (their brother is gone in college, none of their classmates would pair with them, they don’t have friends per se).

and i think that brings an interesting layer to the entire dynamic between the player and kris. why are we using kris as a vessel? why is their story important enough to play? seems like this is only a series of little spinoffs of kris having fun with their school friends. everything wounds up fine at the end, no matter what you choose to do. why is it important for US, the player? it’s an interesting question that i’m sure will see more protagonism as chapters go by.

there’s also another element of asriel really being into some sort of magical... irl rpg stuff. god i don’t know what the name is LMFAO but him and insert female character name did a lot of shenanigans about it together. asriel’s name also shows up at the queen’s castle for the personalized rooms: all the rooms are linked to asriel and asriel only. why not people close to susie? or berdly? it’s clear that this fountain in particular is entangled with kris personally. this might also explain why ralsei tells kris and not susie to bring in the cards from the unused classroom to the dark world. in some way, kris’ status as the weird kid in school might mean that they’re into this stuff, and is pretty imaginative and upon their brother’s absence this might work as some sort of escape for them. it’s clear that kris misses asriel deeply and that might be the reason why they would open the fountains, too.

(dialogue with the emo classmate at the end of chapter two also expands on this and supports the theory pretty well. kris is DEFINITELY familiar with this stuff.)

with this assumption in mind, however shady ralsei may appear begins to take more shape. like... it’s clear to me that kris and ralsei may have a closer, secretive connection that the player isn’t supposed to know about. here are some facts.

the prophecy to shut down the fountains calls for a human, a monster and a prince from the dark world. if kris is the knight who keeps opening them, then that’s one part of the prophecy that’s immediately fulfilled: moreover, there’s plenty of monsters in town, so kris can drag whoever they desire on their adventure. what’s lacking in the equation? a prince from the dark world. so ralsei just appears. therefore, this would assure that kris runs no greater risk by opening these fountains: once the adventure is over, they can just close it with the convenient help of an exposition machine- er, dark prince.

ralsei has... no life. no personality. no backstory. he has no parents, no king and queen who gives him a prince status. he’s a self proclaimed prince that works in the dark world and the prophecy anyways (the fountains do indeed close). why?

as pointed out, ralsei works with a lot of information that he probably shouldn’t know. he adjusts his knowledge in the transition from chapter one to chapter two, conveniently explaining to the player what’s different about the storage and recruit mechanics. again, it’s something that we can choose to skip whenever we want, so it’s clearly something that is meant to be communicated to the player, and not kris - otherwise, ralsei would just talk to them. he also happens to know the layout of the school, and he shows up at the new fountain in chapter two because he “sensed danger” or some bullshit. like, it’s CLEAR that ralsei is pretty shady overall lol.

i think a lot of chapter two gives away all this. like... the fact that ralsei knows the layout of the school. ralsei brushing off the fight with spamtom and its implications for kris. ralsei making sure that the kids stay in line with the rules of the dark world. ralsei being brushed off by most other characters for having no personality/no real presence (the fight with Huge queen, ralsei tea, etc).

it’s OBVIOUSLY not a coincidence that ralsei’s name can be rearranged to spell “asriel”. in a lot of ways, i think kris projected a lot of asriel’s traits into the token dark prince. from what we know in town, asriel is a beloved guy amongst everyone and he seems to be extremely nice and well-behaved (the green lizard story, asriel “confessing” for his and his sibling’s sins, etc). and i think a lot of that goes into ralsei: he’s pretty much an empty shell whose first instinct is to approach things nicely, but also makes sure that the rules of the world are always followed and respected. it’s no coincidence he snaps when people threaten those rules, anyways.

which is also why i believe that any attempt to link ralsei and kris romantically will always be a flop because at this point i’m positive that kris acknowledges the influence that asriel has on what ralsei is on their little adventures. like, ralsei looks pretty much exactly like asriel physically. of course they react hesitantly when the player chooses “ralsei” as a romantic companion upon susie’s question in the last bit of the second chapter. (which i’m very sad about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

this raises the question of, well, how much power does kris have over the dark world? like, taking into account all these things... doesn’t it mean that kris took a major part in SUMMONING the very existence of ralsei? so what else are they responsible of? if they can create multiple of other fountains, how much power do they have over the main dark world that ralsei leads? is the dark world a genuine thing or just an incredibly well-thought, well-planned thing that kris brought into existence just because they had the determination to do so? is that even possible?

(i think at this point the game makes it seem like the dark world is just a thing that exists, parallel to kris. but there are still a lot of questions about their involvement with this and how in-sync these fountains/worlds seem to be with the rules of the dark world. how the fuck does kris even know about them, anyway?)

moreover, it’s sort of a dynamic between kris and ralsei where i’m pretty sure kris already knows the rules of this world - and therefore has given ralsei all this knowledge as well. the only person who doesn’t know about them are, well, the player themself. hence why there are multiple chances to learn the rules from this place, being from ralsei or other npcs in the dark world. this would also explain why ralsei often forces/baits the player into going over to susie’s POV, so they can leave time for kris and ralsei to discuss stuff with no witnesses around. presumably, stuff about the dark world/fountains and its dynamics: how to direct the player from that point onwards.

i also think that, with all this knowledge STILL, it’s farfetched to claim that ralsei is ill-intentioned. i think the fact that he has no real experience in this world (”lonely prince”, no parents/backstory/personality, firmly believes serving lighterns is the best thing that can happen to a darkner because that’s the entire reason of his existence) besides the knowledge (kris’ knowledge) of the rules of the dark world contradict this statement. but i think the best proof is that, even if ralsei “spawned” thanks to kris as a convenient exposition machine and the ally to complete the prophecy, he seems to develop his own dilemmas outside of his determined role. like, the cutscene of the acid pool where he wonders what being “ralsei-like” even means speaks of a real feeling of anxiety upon being this competent born-yesterday creature who exists with the sole purpose of serving kris on their adventures. there’s also multiple hints that he’s developed a romantic interest for kris, that doesn’t seem planned (why would kris ever want this, again?)

which leads to a lot of interesting questions as well. does ralsei know that kris is being “controlled” by the player? (based on his reaction after the spamtom fight... yes he does lol. but what does he think about it?) how much does ralsei know about kris’ involvement with the dark world? he must not be aware of the fact that kris keeps creating fountains to keep the adventures going - otherwise this would antagonize them, which kris wouldn’t want because it’s inconvenient. and what could happen with this inevitable reveal, then? it all hinders again on kris’ influence over the dark world, which is another can of worms, oh boy.

ohhhhh speaking of spamtom. that’s fucked UP. like why would kris’ fountain spawn a being that’s pretty much a mirror of their own situation, only for him to be a warning of what will happen to kris if they attempt to break free from the player’s control? i think a quick answer is that these underlying anxieties are present at the moment that kris chooses to open a fountain - despite their planned world-building, these fears take the form of a secret boss that can be easily ignored, and only sought by the player if they want a taste of that side adventure. it’s kind of poetic, ya know, the fact that kris can complete their adventure without any of that knowledge but the only way this can happen is if the player decides that they want to go through that route. like, OOF. as the player, you don’t know what it’s going to happen, but when that ending is triggered, and breaking spamtom free of his strings results in his demise... it’s a cruel warning that kris doesn’t need to be reminded of.

also... why the mettaton neo and dummy motifs? can’t really understand the link there. well, if mettaton and dummy are connected in any way... both are ghosts inhabiting a vessel that allows them more mobility/actions than their usual form. but like... how does that exactly relate to spamtom? or kris, even? while mettaton seemes to be pretty okay with the vessel he currently occupies, dummy does want frisk’s soul for further purposes, sort of how spamtom does. but who even controls him, then? another thing that i can come up with is the fact that, in kris’ town, dummy and mettaton habit the same house. so like, is that simply a reveal of how spamtom will relate to kris’ real world in further chapters? so why use the mettaton (and mettaton NEO, in particular) and dummy motifs, then? wasn’t there another way of indicating this connection that didn’t use elements from the original game to do so? from what i can remember, the only other time an undertale motif shows up is at the beginning of the game, with “once upon a time” when toriel drives kris to school. like, meh. maybe i’ll have to think about it more lol. still... sorta thought provoking and quite fucked up.

lastly... because this is very long and i am Sorry... i am very happy of the direction toby chose when adapting the meta aspect of the player presence in the game. like, when i finished undertale for the first time i was really unsatisfied with the fact that frisk has NO personality at all. the bait of frisk being the first fallen human kinda makes you forget about it while you play, but when the twist is revealed i was just thinking, oh. so frisk is a literal no one. no personality. no backstory. no NOTHING, besides a name. upon replays of the game, i got to kinda understand why that decision was made, and why we as the played really shouldn’t feel like frisk is anything other than an empty vessel for us to play. as sans says on the dinner scene: why would frisk ever wanna leave? they have all they require in the underground, and more. the only reason we would ever take the choice of going to the core is because then the game will progress: we’ll face greater challenges and keep being entertained. and that’s MERELY because WE, the player, want to be entertained, and progressing the game is the only way to do so. for all its worth, frisk has no real reason to leave. but what’s most important is that they have no desire for it, either. it comes to a point where frisk (more like we, the player) can choose to live with toriel in the outer world and no one bats an eye. wouldn’t frisk have a parent, or a guardian looking for them? of course not: frisk’s life begins when they’re laying on a bed of flowers in the underground, and ends up with the monsters as they all first meet the surface. later, you understand that the game wants you to have that meta connection with flowey, a character with personality and backstory. but it’s an aspect that feels missed when asriel asks frisk at the end of the pacifist run, if chara ended up in this world because they hated humanity, what was your reason? we don’t know that and we never will - and the game tells us over and over that it’s not important.

but here, we KNOW about kris’ personality. their world. their possible motivations for how they behave when not being a vessel for us, terrible terrible players. and what’s most compelling of it all: much like flowey, kris fights back against the determination that overrides theirs: they actively reject the soul, even though that inflicts them incredible amounts of pain. AAAAAAAAAA like it comes to a point that, because kris no longer has a soul, they end up with this lack of morale and humanity that we saw in flowey during undertale, but STILL they fight back against it by focusing this soulless homicidal rage on damaging objects and not people (kris slaughtering toriel’s pie, then slashing the car’s tires, presumably doing something of the sort when they leave the house at the end of chapter two and not harming either toriel or susie). and i love how we see slices of their personality in the actions kris does that we have no chance to interject in (kris accepting susie as their friend, as they themself refer to susie as such in front of toriel, and defending her after the fight with the king in the first chapter) or their delivery on certain choices we, the player, take for them (unconvincingly replying with “ralsei” when asked by susie at the end of chapter two). or stuff like their blank side of the room compared to asriel, to the surprise that we get of a “personalized” kris room due to their internet searches. like, we would’ve NEVER gotten anything like that with frisk. i find that stuff really compelling and, much like how flowey was really important in the meta aspect of undertale, having a protagonist that acts like such is a take i’m incredibly happy and satisfied with. can’t wait to learn more about kris while i keep tormenting them with my dumb, selfish decisions, yaaaaay.

(i also want to point out that... the aspect of kris hating the player isn’t new? both flowey and sans dislike you for replaying the game over and over. flowey tells you he isn’t capable of going through all the pacifist run development again, and only allows you to do it again if you erase his memories, and sans tells you on his boss fight that even if you only did pacifists runs it wouldn’t matter because you would reset their lives to the underground either way, instead of letting them live. in that way, the game punishes you for loving these characters and their stories, and i think that’s tremendously fucked up - but also, really refreshing and interesting.)

#deltarune #INCREDIBLY LONG. seriously. i just needed to get all of this off lol #probably clumsily redacted as well #okay don't show up in the tag that's actually fine

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dualitysdownfall · 2 years

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No I Will Not “Just Unplug” (a ramble)

[tl;dr: sometimes the internet is a shitty place but we don’t have to completely throw it away, we can still enjoy it and spend a lot of time there, we just have to focus on what matters most at any given moment. sometimes that does mean engaging with doom-and-gloom type stuff or discourse, but sometimes it just means finding things we enjoy and taking care of our mental states. what is often called “terminally online” topics/discourse is really a matter of forgetting that that topic doesn’t really matter irl. you can be online a lot without being “terminally online” if you focus on stuff that actually matters to you, whatever that may be, not necessarily in the activism sense, but also just things that make you happy.]

i am very Online.

most of today i spent on tumblr. most of yesterday i spent on tumblr. as of typing this i have another day’s worth of queued reblogs. i spend so much time on tumblr and twitter it isn’t even funny.

so many people say “we all need to unplug” “go touch grass” “let’s just quit entirely”

this is a message that stems from wanting to get away from the sheer toxicity that can be found on social media, which is undeniable and i can appreciate the message for that reason. but every time i hear it, my gut instinct is “hell no.”

for one thing, i couldn’t stay off socials if i tried. i get bored very easily. if i’m not fully focused on something, my optimum state of being is at least two things happening at once. so checking my phone while i watch something is basically an autopilot action for me at this point.

but for another thing, it’s like, my main connection to the world. even pre-pandemic. to be brief, i’m autistic and have trouble making friends in a face-to-face setting. online, i can just seek out the communities based on my interests and i have done so and therefore formed mutuals and friendships based on fandoms and identities. it would be so much harder to find in my irl spaces someone who i could tell that i like homestuck and deltarune and i’m autistic and asexual and agender but i use all pronouns, and they would just Get It the way you probably Get It if you’re reading this. the way my friends and partner Get It. the way i only Get It because i learned about things like gender and neurodivergence from tumblr.

so i can’t just abandon the internet. it’s where i can be fully openly myself.

but what about all the bad shit? and boy there is a lot of bad shit.

well, it’s kind of hard to avoid. tag filtering helps but i mostly use it for fandoms i’m not in (no offense intended to those fandoms, there are just sometimes a lot of posts that may be long). and some topics, like national/global news, i feel obligated to stay up to date on because i’m not going to hear about it anywhere else and i want to do good things where i can, or at least know what the right thing is.

but sometimes it is just too much.

sometimes the terf lady is trending again, and sometimes some new project comes out that’s about autism but actually supports eugenics ideology, and sometimes the fandom i follow is full of discourse and conflict, and sometimes governements are terrible (lol jk that’s all the time), and sometimes i do a stupid thing and some asshat who doesn’t understand what autism is starts picking on me in the replies. the times we are facing seem increasingly bleak, which makes it so much more glaringly obvious that when the internet allows us to hear from all over the world it allows us to hear a world’s worth of pain and suffering and our individual psyches just are not meant to handle that.

i cannot leave the internet. i don’t want to, and even if i did i would be worse off for it.

but i can know my limits and enforce boundaries on myself.

i am not obligated to be an activist and an informer for every shithead in the replies. i am not obligated to engage with literally anyone. i do not have to look at what i don’t want to look at. social media can be entertainment and escape, and i am free to curate my experience to align with that. i can handle exactly what i’m capable of handling and if i can’t handle something, who cares ignore it go do something else.

the way people say we should all just quit social media and we’d all be so much healthier if we unplugged... the way they say as if social media is nothing but a drain on our minds and causes only damage... just strikes me the wrong way. i mean, i can say from experience that it can be incredibly healing to just focus on something irl with the people around you for a few hours, but i couldn’t do that forever. and the internet has taught me so much, and it brings me so many things to smile about.

the key is balance.

the trouble with the people y’all are calling “Terminally Online” is that they get so tied up in intense discourse about micro-issues or whatever the hell else they do that they don’t seem to grasp that none of that shit is important. none of it matters in the real world.

i don’t like discourse as i can’t argue for shit and get very stressed in instances of conflict, so i imagine the online problems that trouble me are more tangible in the real world than meaningless micro-arguments. but they are tangible on the large scale. i do not have to be working for large-scale change all the goddamn time. i can take some time to bake cookies with my siblings or whatever, and most if not all of the things that trouble me while i’m online don’t fucking matter at all.

they’re allowed to matter at times. but they do not need to matter all the time.

there is such an emphasis, on social media, to know EXACTLY who and what you are and to know EXACTLY where you stand on every topic and to ALWAYS be showing who you are and where you stand.

you don’t have to know, and even if you do know, you don’t have to show it all the time.

it’s good to call out issues when you see them. it’s good to help spread the word. it’s good to help teach people about marginalized identities and how to show acceptance and support. but those things take energy, and eventually your energy will run out, and it’s ok to skip past an activism post because you’re just here to look at memes, or to give up trying to teach someone why the gender binary is bad because they’re a stubborn asshole, or to just do a craft or go someplace and not think about the internet at all.

i think that the issue lies not in “the internet is terrible” and more in “we need to take a step back and think about whether what we’re about to do really matters”. sharing my artwork with a fandom can matter to me. arguing with some stubborn dipshit in youtube comments about kris deltarune’s pronouns does not have to matter to me. spreading kindness and happiness matters to me, and sometimes that takes the form of advocating for marginalized identities, and sometimes it takes the form of posting a joke or a pretty picture for the sake of simple smiles, and sometimes what really matters is making sure that i’m happy too.

we don’t need to get rid of the internet. it’s not killing our brains just by virtue of existing. we just need to care about what matters to us. and some internet things do matter to me, like seeing wonderful fanart or funny videos, and reading about interesting things that exist in the world or how to avoid being shitty to a minority, and shouting my thoughts into the void, and replying to my mutuals’ shouted void-thoughts in the hopes that i can bring them a smile. sometimes the shit the internet brings with it doesn’t matter to me as much as letting in the sunlight or hugging my siblings or going somewhere with the people i care about. and that’s fine too.

i guess what i mean is, we can have it both ways.

i’m not even saying that people are commonly saying we can’t. i guess i just need to teach myself the lesson over and over again, that when given a choice between A and B, the answer is probably both or neither. (see: my romantic orientation, my gender, how long it takes me to grasp morally gray characters, my tendency to like media that i describe as “goodbad”, the list goes on)

i’m not Too Online. my sense of humor might indicate otherwise, but i know my limits and i know when i’ve had too much doom and gloom, and i can just go watch tv or eat dinner or maybe even (gasp!) hang out outside. it’s fine for my current emotional state to matter more than reading about widespread bigotry or whatever. and you know what? i can still come right back online later. and that’s fine too.

i guess i mostly wrote this for me. if you read the whole thing, wow. good for you i guess? did you take anything away from this?

#harper babbles #i tried to make there be a steady train of thought throughout by i myself lost it while writing so idk #idrk what my point was and i already forgot why i wanted to write about it

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