finding a cool book with a really good premise that hits some of my favorite tropes

but it's written in first person

our trust

part 1: a paddock day , part 2: our leclerc win, part 3: our love in photos, part 4: our home, part 5: ripples in our love

#TAGLIST : @autumn-bitch7 @raevyng @luvvtrent @boherahpsody @treehouse-mouse @chasing-liberosis @celestialams @cherry-piee @stevesthetics @ilovechickenwings

the night of the fight, charles was slapped with the harsh reality you had left as he entered your shared home.

usually, you would provide him with delicious food you cooked by the time he was home. now, he had to walk next block to pick up some food. though he could just order, he opted not to wallow on the couch and take the 5 minute walk.

the first thing that stood out to him as he entered was your shoes. white stilettos you’d wear on your date nights, beige sandals you wore practically everywhere, and the adidas shoes he had gotten your for your anniversary with a strawberry keychain, your favorite.

he stared back at the empty coat hanger where yours was, usually. then he made his way to the living room, no blanket of yours was there or those little stuffed toys he had grown to love and appreciate over the last few months.

making his way to the dining or kitchen area, it was only set for one. he sat down staring at your seat. the same seat where he had pleaded you to stay.

after eating, he made it back to your shared room. the things he noticed at first glance was baffling. no salt lamp you loved so dearly, no fluffy blanket you loved, no slippers beside the bed, your skincare products all gone, your jewelry box missing from your bedside table, and many more.

he saw your closet halved of what it was. he sighed and took his pajamas before entering the bathroom and feeling the hole in his chest grow deeper. he had done this to himself.

he settled in your side of the bed, hoping to feel the last ounce of you. scrolling on his phone, he conversed with the grid on his mistakes and what he should do. pierre had told him to march over to france and beg yn to take him back, alonso was strongly opposed to that, suggesting to charles he should give her space but also make himself known. so that’s what he did.

he texted you every time he could and also stalked every yn fanpage known to man. when he got the message you wanted to meet at baku, he held himself from screaming in excitement as he was having dinner with the grid.

y/n/n my love 😘❤️

september 10, 2024

y/n/n my love 😘❤️

would you mind if i went to baku this week and we talked?

sharlie brown 🫀🏎️

Of course, amour! Would you want me to pick you up at the airport?:)

september 11, 2024

y/n/n my love 😘❤️

if you’re not too busy

slr i just finished booking the flight

sharlie brown 🫀🏎️

I am never too busy for you.

y/n/n my love 😘❤️

Thennn tomorrow 9pm, pick me up?

sharlie brown 🫀🏎️

Can not wait to see you, I love you! 😘

Charles rushed out of the ferrari garage to fetch you. On the way, he was starting to worry if ‘and we talked’ would mean you were ending it with him.

He saw you sitting on your luggage outside the airport. He smiled at the sight of you and immediately went out of the car.

It wasn’t easy to not spot Charles as he pulled up in his Ferrari all red attire and his fancy car. You stood up, he hugged you tightly, and you smiled at the familiar feeling. “I missed you so much, amour. Are you okay? How was the flight?”

“I-“ You were cut off as many fans approached you both. Charles was quick to bring you in the car and your luggages and carry ons. A fan asked him to sign a Lightning McQueen shirt and you couldn’t help but laugh, making Charles smile.

The drive wasn’t awkward at all. Charles put on your favorite songs and asked little questions about your time away from him.

You mentioned how you discovered a new restaurant he would love in Nice and should go together.

Charles’ heart sped up at the idea you thought of him in places like restaurants and you wanted to go places with him. It gave him hope your conversation would end positively.

you sat criss crossed on the bed after changing and looked at Charles. “i- I really missed you, Charles” you confessed as he smiled “I missed you more than words can explain it, belle” he replied

no matter how many times you had rehearsed this on the plane, your feelings were confused. you sighed and laid your head on charles’ lap as he stroked your hair.

“i still wanna be with you charles, of course i do. i just… i dont know how to trust you. i need your word charles. you won’t do this to me ever again because it fucking hurts, charles leclerc. It hurts. drunk or not, i need you to control yourself, though i don’t know how you’ll control your drunk self. i cant do this again.”

“again? … i know, amour. i have been making myself better for you while you were away. i am lessening my drinking because i can not live without you. i have not even drank since you left and you are my everything, my priority, even on top of ferrari” he kissed your forehead as you smiled.

“‘kay… i missed you” you said quietly, nuzzling into his sweater. “me too, love” “get rest, you’ll do great tomorrow” “with you by my side, i hope so” he chuckled.

charles knew you wouldn’t just forget about it, so he was determined to prove to you he meant everything he said.

yn.charlesupdate

liked by 13,484 others

yn.charlesupdate PARENTS BACK TOGETHER AT BAKU AIRPORT !!!❤️❤️❤️ view all 1,484 comments

ynslife happy if they worked it out but i really hope yn doesn’t get hurt again:/

gridzfire LFG PADDOCK YN BACK AT IT AGAIN

september 12, 2024

clercspaddock

liked by yn, and 7,585 others

clercspaddock YN AT THE PADDOCK WE WON

view all 262 comments

yn what can i say, i missed u hoes 🤷🏻‍♀️

⤷ clercspaddock More than charles?

⤷ yn you’re as delusional as i used to be if u believe that babes…. but i love u guys 🫀

⤷ clercspaddock hey, i had to shoot my shot

⤷ uryn how did u just casually have a convo w yn

⤷ clercspaddock I DONT KNOW

september 13, 2024

yn’s instagram story:

“ back here ❤️”

viewed by 2,484,484 others

ynnns16

liked by yn, and 2,383 others

ynnns16 yeah maybe he cheated but u cant deny he’s in love with her. it was probably a mistake because look at how he looks when he’s talking abt her:,)

view all 47 comments

september 14, 2023

yn

liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc, and 2,597,797 others

yn YOUR SILLIEST WAG IS BACK WITH A MAN WITH POLE 🥹

view all 278,484 comments

2024leclercs yn beating the ferrari admin at the pole post 😭

charles_leclerc Je t’aime❤️ je ne peux pas vivre sans toi i love you❤️ i can’t live without you

⤷ yn 😘

⤷ landonorris has charles infected you with that emoji

⤷ yn it started as a joke but im afraid so.

⤷ charles_leclerc What is wrong with it?

fernandoalo_oficial Good to see you again 😊

⤷ yn I LOVE YOU

ynspillow did she just forgive and forget… babes..

⤷ yn againnn, we want to keep this private. but i don’t forget easily

⤷ verstappens3 as u should queen

mclaren You’d look good in orange 🍊

⤷ yn you mean papaya?

⤷ mclaren Whatever works for you! Send the address🧡

⤷ scuderiaferrari Don’t steal our girl🙁

⤷ mclaren Just sent the package of papaya shirts 😘

redbullracing Want to design new shirts for us? ❤️

⤷ yn YES

⤷ scuderiaferrari Excuse us.

⤷ yn you never asked me

⤷ scuderiaferrari Running to Charles about this.

ynsnorris LOL ADMINS FIGHTING OVER YN AND REDBULL JUST ASKS FOR A DESIGN 😭 september 14, 2024

yn’s instagram story:

yn.jpg

liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc, and 872,584 others

yn.jpg finally get to share my lil gig soon

view all 16,166 comments

charles_leclerc My talented girl ❤️

[ liked by yn.jpg ]

f1 Lets go!!! chickf1lla RED BULL TOO? WHAT

scuderiaferrari ❤️

⤷ ynclaren u guys badly need all the help u can get after that shit show while yn was gone…

⤷ yn.jpg LOLLLL

[COMMENT DELETED!]

yn that wasnt me

september 16, 2024

yn

liked by charles_leclerc, and 5,584,393 others

yn we’ve been doing this for quite some time so i’m glad i get to share it with everyone now🪷 i had an amazing time doing one of the things i love in one of my favorite places! i worked with f1 and vogue magazine for this one! the “adrenaline on track” issue is out next month🏎️❤️‍🔥🫧

view all 837,594 comments

maxverstappen1 Amazing

⤷ yn thanks max 🐙

landonorris IS THAT ME

⤷ yn dont let it inflate your ego

lewishamilton fire shots 🔥

⤷ yn thankies lewyyyyy

charles_leclerc These are as beautiful as you ❤️

⤷ yn are u calling my shots ugly

⤷ charlando LMAOAOAOA YN STOP

⤷ charles_leclerc What, No! I am saying you are so beautiful and out of this planet, just like these amazing photos!

charsyln yn making charles work for it as she should

voguesf1 fr though. im so happy charles and yn dated/ are dating because yn’s passions and talents are being showed to the world. everyone has talents but im just grateful we get to see her art and see her make a name for herself, not just charles’ gf

⤷ yn youre so kind:( thank you<333

⤷ voguesf1 YOURE SO KIND?? SEE THIS WOMAN IS THE RIGHT WOMAN FOR HIM AND THE WORLD TO KNOW

[liked by charles_leclerc, and 1,585 others]

⤷ stylishts lets just hope he doesn’t fuck this relationship up

[liked by yn]

september 18, 2024

love4wags

liked by 16,383 others

love4wags Yn’s old twitter account has been found and leaked. Most tweets are about F1 and her current boyfriend, Charles. The twitter account has now been deleter.

view all 4,697 comments

user this is disgusting. why are you posting something so personal here?

⤷ user1 well clearly she posted it on social media. she should’ve made her account private

⤷user3 she probably left it public so she’d get attention😂

checosbrazil “I hope the person I marry one day is not like this” ….. Um

tshoehbookss I never knew she had sm trauma…

yn hii pls take this down:)

⤷ ynsloml oh mom:(

september 19, 2024

[ THIS POST HAS BEEN ARCHIVED! ]

ynstree

liked by 5,282 others

ynsloml WHY AM I CRYING OVER A TWEET. view all 1,272 comments

f1stime Well, now we know how old she is… 5 months older than Charles!

fruitsofme notice how she always says “it’s okay” in her tweets…

september 19, 2024

yn

liked by charles_leclerc and, 1,595,393 others

yn yes, i am the type to respond to anything against me while staying unbothered, get used to it.

plssss stop sharing my old tweets! they are embarrassing and old and not up to date with who i am now or how i am. i am the happiest with charles and im in an alright relationship with my parents. i am okay and always have been so! stop! spreading! lies!i worked hard for myself to live the life i live now and im thankful for the opportunities charles has given me.

(i did not at all do this for attention as i forgot about it and thought it was private <i didnt know how to private accounts at the time>)

[COMMENTS ARE DISABLED]

september 19, 2024

ynsodddd

liked by yn, and 6,383 others

ynsodddd why has yn gotten the most shit out of all the wags. what did she ever do to yall😭😭😭 and to the ‘fans’ sharing her old tweets… BFFR!!!! this girl has gone thru sm LEAVE HER ALONE 😭

view all 1,684 comments

user1 fr why is everything just happening to her rn😭 traumatic parents, got cheated on, working with vogue, photographer, can speak like 6/7 languages????

⤷user2 what in the wattpad

⤷author what in the tumblr (;)

september 19, 2024

charles_leclerc

liked by yn, and 7,383,595 others

charles_leclerc Best way to start racing weekend❤️

[COMMENTS ARE DISABLED!]

september 19, 2024

#SOF i ran out of pics for the boarder thing but i may have gotten a little overboard with the drama.

please please share your opinions and lmk if i ruined it 😊

Needs

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: Natasha had a very long week and needs to wind down with the help of a friend.

Warnings: Smut, thigh riding (N), praise kink, bottom!natasha, FWB

AN: This is my first fic!!! Also not a veteran on tumblr so the format could be weird im trying ok!!

The light from your bed-side lamp cascaded over the book you were reading. After a long week you always put some time aside to read so you could clear your head, even if it was at 2am. It was the best time to get lost in a book. The compound was nearly dead silent with only the sounds of light rain pinging on your window. Though you had been reading the book for a few hours now, you caught your mind drifting away from the pages and onto a certain red head.

You and Natasha's relationship was quite simple. If one of you had an itch to scratch, the other would scratch it. This sort of mutual understanding had been going on for quite some time now.

You kept trying to keep your eyes on the page and the books scenery in your mind, but the story kept slipping away. You reread the same page over and over trying to push your urges away, and just as you were about to give up your phone vibrated.

You looked off into the distance and a small smirk ran across your lips as you knew no one else but Natasha would text you at this hour.

You grabbed your phone and saw the message,

I need you.

You couldn't help but smile a little bit. It's like you and Natasha's bodies were in tune with one another.

You adjusted your boxers a bit as the text seemed to send some heat down to your core. It had been over a week since the last time the 'benefits' part of your friendship came into play. Even so you had hardly seen her besides a few passing glances at meetings. You knew it was because Fury had her on several cases that required a lot of paperwork, and no matter how many times you told Natasha to stand up for herself and set boundaries on the amount of work she could take, she never did.

You typed back,

the door is unlocked

You set your phone back down on the nightstand and let the anticipation set in.

You relaxed back into the leather of your chair and hoped she would be at your door sooner rather than later. But in the meantime you picked your book back up to pretend you were still following along.

Only a handful of minutes later the door to your room opened slowly and in stepped an exhausted assassin. She didn't make eye contact with you as she shut the door quietly and stayed there with her hand on the doorknob, lingering.

Just as you were about to ask her what she was doing she turned around and locked eyes with you. Those green eyes conveyed a very deep lust that you could read immediately. However, you didn't fail to notice her heavy eye bags.

You broke the gaze as your eyes traveled over her body and took in her figure. All she was wearing was an oversized flannel, barely buttoned up, with a pair of underwear. You nearly went slack jawed as you locked eyes with her yet again and she made her way over to you.

She gingerly took the book out of your hands, folded the page you were on so you wouldn't lose your place, and set it next to your phone.

She slowly climbed onto your lap and set her hands on your shoulders as she kept eye contact. Your hands found their way onto her hips and you gently squeezed.

At a near whisper, she said "I'm sorry I'm so needy", and at that your face screwed up in disbelief.

Your hands kneaded into her thighs and you lowly replied "don't ever apologize for having needs, Natalia." She pulled her bottom lip in slightly and finally broke eye contact to look down. You caressed her cheek and she looked back at you with hooded eyes. You closed the distance between the two of you to ghost your lips over hers. Her breath hitched at the intimacy. Just as you noticed her shallow breathing she closed the distance and kissed you hard. Her lips danced with yours and you inhaled her vanilla scent, wishing she had come to you sooner.

The pace remained slow and sensual as your hands traveled up her back and began to trace all of her muscles. Natasha felt something deep inside her begin to churn with every kiss from you. She had not seen you all week because of the mountains of paperwork, mission planning, and training she had to do. She needed a release. Bad. But she kept the pace slow, deep, romantic even, as she didn't have the energy to do much else.

Her hands began exploring your chest and she subconsciously began to grind into your lap. Both you and Natasha groaned into each others mouths at the sensation.

One of your hands came up to start unbuttoning her top while she moved down to your neck. Once she found your pulse point, she began to suck and a throaty groan left your mouth.

You pushed her back a little so you could remove her shirt. You slid it off her divine figure and discarded it to the floor. Her supple breasts were on full display for you and she leaned closer so you could touch. You kissed up the valley between her breasts and then up her throat as your hands finally found their way to her nubs. She let her head fall back and kept grinding into you as you left open mouthed kissed along her collarbone and your hands continued exploring her chest.

She moved slightly so that she was straddling only one of your legs, and when she began grinding you could feel just how wet she was.

"Miss me that much, Nat?" You said, smirking into her neck at the feeling of her coating your thigh.

"You have no idea", she purred as she wrapped her arms around your neck.

You held onto her lower back with one hand, the other lightly massaging her thigh. You ran your thumb over a scar, memorizing its texture and ridges. She moved to hide her head in your neck as she started to really grind her hips against you.

You placed kisses on her shoulder and used your hand on her back to guide her into you.

"That's it Nat, good girl" you growled into her ear.

She moaned loud at the praise and felt an immediate surge to her core. You knew what she liked to hear better than anybody.

Her movements picked up again and you knew she was approaching her release as her grip tightened around your neck, fingers intertwined with your hair.

She let out little moans at every thrust and you moved your arms around her mid to keep her from falling over. As you bear hugged her you turned your head towards her face to see the look of bliss she was wearing.

With her eyes screwed tight and her mouth agape she went silent but her movements continued, and this is when you knew she was right at the edge.

You whispered, "Come for me, detka."

At that her legs began to convulse as she let out a pornographic moan. You felt her juices release onto your leg and held her close as she rode out her high. You smiled to yourself and kissed her cheek while her breathing began to slow back to a steady pace.

Once she had completely come down and her movements totally stilled, you observed the sweat covering her body and tried to pull her hair away from her face. You rubbed her back as she cooled down from her endeavors.

After a few minutes you felt her shiver and that's when you picked her up and carried her over to your bed. As you laid her down she didn't make any protests and instead silently got under the covers. You got a rag to clean her up and helped her into a shirt she had left over a few weeks ago. She sunk back into the bed and let sleep take over her.

As you lay next to her you wondered the direction your relationship would go to and whether or not it would ever be serious. You didn't go a day without thinking of her beautiful red hair and forest green eyes. But for now you were content with leaving your door unlocked for her.

Can you do a Jude Bellingham imagine where his girlfriend is very burnt out from school. They do long distance so she tries to get everything done so she can go spend time with him & watch him play. One day when she lands to watch him play against Barcelona he finds her stress crying in the room alone because she tries to be there for everyone around her but it’s costing her to stress out about getting things in on time. Somehow Jude calms her & they enjoy their day before he plays against Barcelona.

Thank you

-a very stressed & burnt out student

A/n: this is me right now too, I hope things get easier for you soon

WC: 2.0k The last few weeks maybe even months have been so stressful. Ever since I went back to university I have done nothing but go to classes and study. I know it's my final year but I didn't think it would be this difficult but there is just so much to do between assignments for classes and preparations for my dissertation. For the first few weeks I feel like I was coping pretty well but recently it's all just hit me like a truck and now I feel like I'm drowning in books and being suffocated by deadlines. 

To make it all 100 times worse where I chose to go to uni is away from my family and very far from my boyfriend. Don't get me wrong I love it here but at times like this I just wish that I had someone here to tell me it's all going to be ok. I've been really missing not just my family but my boyfriend Jude as well, I haven't seen Jude since before I came back to uni which was at the end of august and it's been killing me. I also haven't been able to talk to him as much as I would like as I've been really busy and he's been busy too with his move to Real Madrid and having to get used to living and playing over there. 

These last few months have been hard on our relationship, even though we've been long distance for a few years now we have never gone this long without seeing each other and the fact that we haven't talked as much hasn't helped. Finally we are going to see each other though as I'm flying over to see him play and just to spend a few days with him which has got me through the last few days. In order to be able to go and see Jude I have been working extra hard to get my work done as I want to actually spend time with him which I can't do if I have assignments to do but it's been difficult. All week I've only left my apartment to go to classes and I've pulled far too many all nighters but I've got quite a lot done so I guess it's somewhat worth it although I still have some things to do. 

I had an alarm set to wake me up before my flight but it wasn't needed as I'd been awake all night packing and doing uni work. The worst part was despite all my hard work I had to pack a few of my textbooks and my laptop as I didn't manage to finish everything in time. I tried to put that behind me though as I got to the airport because I still want to enjoy my time with Jude and if I'm stressed and feeling down then I'm not going to make the most of the time which I really do want to do. Jude has been telling me all week how much he's been looking forward to today he promised me that we was going to get up early to pick me up from the airport before he has to go to training which is how I know he's serious as he hates getting up in the morning. 

~~~~~~~~~~

After a few hours in the air I landed on Spanish soil and somehow I immediately felt a bit more relaxed as I knew it was only a matter of time until I would be in Jude's arms which is exactly what I need. As I got off the plane I text Jude to let him know I had landed which he answered right away telling me he was already waiting for me in the arrivals lounge with a disguise on so he didn't get recognised. Knowing he was waiting for me made me walk a bit quicker to collect my bag and once it was in sight I grabbed it and ran towards where Jude would be waiting for me. 

It took me a minute to find Jude but eventually I saw him stood with a hat and sunglasses on which didn't offer much of a disguise but he wasn't surrounded by people so clearly it does something. Once he saw me coming he swiftly made his way over until he was close enough to pick me up and nearly kill me with how tightly he held me. It felt so good to be in his arms again and smell his cologne it made me feel like I was home again which is exactly what I've been needing. Jude held onto me for a good while before he took my bag in one hand and my hand in the other leading me out to his car which was parked outside. Once we got in the car Jude leaned straight over the centre console and smashed his lips onto mine which led to us making out for a bit too long so we had to rush back to Jude's place on he could drop me off before going to his training session. 

Once Jude had left I went and made myself some breakfast as I didn't have time to eat before I left and I had to make myself a cup of tea because despite being in Spain I'm still British and we can't go a day without a cup of tea. Jude knows me well enough that he had brought a new pack of my favourite tea and put it on a shelf he knows I can reach along with a mug which he had clearly just brought for me. I enjoyed my cup of tea before I took my bag upstairs to go and unpack. To my surprise the room was quite clean and Jude had cleaned out one of his draws for me, well not quite there was a few hoodies and t shirts in there still but he left me a note telling me I can wear them so they are mine now. Of course I had to put a hoodie on before starting to unpack all of my stuff. 

I unpacked most of my stuff pretty quickly but then I got to the bottom of my suitcase and saw just how many text books and folders I had to pack. Seeing it made the realisation hit me that I still have so much work to do and once again all of the stresses started weighing down on me like it was physically crushing me. All week I've been so deep into work mode I bottled up all my emotions but now they are all coming out at once and for some reason I can't stop crying. It's like all of the pressure and stress has finally reached the surface and the mental breakdown all my friends warned was coming has finally arrived. I've never felt so overwhelmed in my life and I just don't know how to cope all I do know is that I need to get myself together before Jude gets back as I don't want to worry him plus I want to enjoy our time together. 

My attempts to calm myself down didn't go well if anything I just got more overwhelmed and cried more. I was so in my own world that I completely lost track of time so when I heard the front door close and Jude call my name I panicked. As his footsteps got closer to the bedroom I desperately tried to wipe the tears from my face but then I realised my eyes would still be all red so I just put the hood on the hoodie up to try and cover my face.

"Hi darling do you need any help unpacking?" Jude asked a he walked in 

"N-no I'm f-fine" I sniffled

"Babe what's wrong?" He asked clearly concerned 

"Nothing" I said 

"I know you're lying to me I can hear you sniffling what's made you so upset you know you can tell me anything" he said trying to make me open up

"I'm sorry I'm just stressed I've got so much work to do for uni I worked so hard all week so we could actually spend some time together but I couldn't finish everything and now I have loads of texts books in my suitcase and I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed I'm really sorry I'm ruining our time together" I rambled 

"Hey hey slow down it's ok there's no need to be sorry it's ok tell me exactly what's going on and we can fix it together" Jude comforted 

"I still have two assignments I need to finish before the end of the week and I'm so exhausted from pulling so many all nighters but I just want to actually spend some time with you because I've really missed you" I said a bit more calmly this time 

"Ok we can work this out I know you're tired but how about I help you finish those assignments then we can just have a relaxing evening together get some sleep and be ready to do something together tomorrow" Jude suggested 

"That sounds good" I said 

Jude then picked me up and sat me on his bed before grabbing my laptop and books for me. I explained to him what I needed to do and then we go to work together. One of my assignments I just needed to reread so Jude did that for me to make sure there were no mistakes then I just needed to finish one other assignment and then do the same. Jude was so helpful and read the parts of my textbooks I needed to me while I typed and he let me talk through my ideas with him even though he doesn't understand what I'm studying. In just over and hour we were done and I instantly felt so much better and when Jude started giving me kisses I felt even better. 

 Being the amazing boyfriend that he is Jude got some chocolate from downstairs for me to eat while he ran a bath for the both of us to share. It was only when Jude came to ask me which bubble bath I prefer that I realised just how much he had brought for my visit. He doesn’t like to take baths so he wouldn’t have bubble bath just lying around and the chocolate I was eating was my favourite one so he must’ve got that especially for me as well. Jude is such a sweet boyfriend all the time but little things like this just make me realise how truly perfect he is and it makes me so grateful that I ended up with Jude as I know he truly cares for me. 

Once the bath was ready Jude helped me get in then he got in himself and sat behind me letting me rest my back against his chest. The entire atmosphere was so relaxing which helped me finally let go of all the stress and anxiety that has been fuelling me for the last few weeks. Nothing needed to be said either both of us were more than content just sitting there in silence as Jude’s fingers played with the rings on my hand especially the promise ring which he gave me last Valentine’s Day which I think is my favourite piece of jewellery I own. After a while of just relaxing Jude started to wash my body for me which meant I didn’t have to move at all as his hands gently rubbed over my skin. 

Once the both of us were clean we got out the bath and Jude gave me some of his clothes for me to put on which I very happily did. He then picked me up and carried me downstairs to the sofa where he piled blankets on top of me before sitting down and spreading them out properly. All of the sudden I felt the tiredness take over so I snuggled up to Jude and just let my eyes close and sleep consume me. Just as I was drifting off I felt Jude kiss the top of my head and whisper I love you which put a smile on my face just as I went into a dreamland. 

I don’t want to hear thoughts... Unless they’re yours

Chapter 5:  A connection       18+ (Please be aware that there is explicit content here) Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader Word count:3.7k I woke up 2 days after posting this and my first thought was: I didn’t put any warnings! Yes, I’m that girl...So here they are:  Warning: NSFW, 18+, lesbian relationship, oral, fingering, voyeurism, use of butt plug, a little edging, Mommy!Kink, top!Wanda, Bottom!Reader Summary: Wanda wanted to live the normal life she was never afforded, but something was always missing. Something she denied herself and buried deep inside. But watching you move next door, she quickly realizes that this may not be possible for much longer. Especially with all the interesting things she found in your thoughts. Chapter summary: Without any plans for the day, you let your mind wander and when good books are no longer enough, you give in to what your body craves... Little did you know, that your favourite new neighbour was listening in, craving the exact same thing you did.   Part 1; Part 2; Part 3, Part 4; Part 5; Part 6, Part 7; Part 8; Part 9; Part 10 Series materlist                                     Masterlist of all my works

Sunday suddenly felt empty when you had no plans for the day and you started lazily. You made yourself some coffee and drank it, while looking through social media, watching your friends post pictures with their happy faces tagged at places you used to go together. It was depressing and you decided you would stay away from it, not wanting to invite in feelings of loneliness or sadness. For a moment you considered catching up to some work, but quickly decided against it. You felt anxious just thinking about how much you had left to do and this was your only day left for a break before you had to go in the office again, so whatever monstrous pile of emails you had to face, you’d do so tomorrow. Catching up to reading, a pile of books already waiting for you, presented itself as most appealing and you picked the top one, finding your last page and loosing yourself entirely. At home, Wanda listened excitedly while you read, enjoying the narration while she completed her own choirs, doing laundry and the many dirty dishes she never seemed to stop generating, cleaning the kitchen and all the other things that always needed doing in a household. Your voice had become such a big part of her day now, she hated how much you were gone during week days. You were having a fairly normal day as well, burying yourself in your normal activities, every once in a while dipping in the pool to cool down from the heat. By the afternoon, you were bored, Wanda could tell. She had just put down the boys for an afternoon nap, deciding to tune in and see what she missed from the book, when she realized you were no longer reading at all. You were trying to find something interesting to watch, but she could feel you were frustrated. She was about to delve in a bit deeper, trying to find out what bothered you, when you suddenly switched the TV off entirely, sighing deeply even within your own mind and lying down on the couch, closing your eyes. Your mind stayed blank for a few long moments, while Wanda descended the stairs of her house, sitting on her living room couch, just as you had done. She was thinking of some excuse she could use to come over, ease your mind or simply give you her company, when your mood changed and the blankness that surrounded you started to change into images that quickly came to life. In your mind you were in your bedroom, wearing nothing but a skimpy, red lingerie set. The bra was covered in lace and it lifted your breasts like an offering, while the lacy panties accentuated your ass perfectly. You were stunning as you lay across your bed, your hair fanning around you. A woman stood nearby, considering her actions for just a moment, before she walked towards you and sat on the bed, her hands immediately finding your thigs and starting to stroke your heated skin. Her touch made your eyes fly open and you looked up to her, smiling as she leaned down to kiss your lips. Wanda quickly realized where this fantasy was going to lead up to and she contemplated her choices, considering if she should just pull away and give you the privacy you deserved, her hands twisting in a nervous manner. She wasn’t proud of this, but her curiosity and lust quickly won over that thought and she headed back upstairs, entering her bedroom, locking the door swiftly and lying on top of the covers. The last time she couldn’t get a second alone, but now? Now there was nothing standing in her way and you were just impossible to resist. Fuck, you were wearing her favorite color, as if waiting just for her. How could she deny herself this treat? The woman you conjured up for yourself had black hair, chocolate eyes and full, luscious lips, painted in dark red lipstick. She wasn’t much taller than you, but she easily commanded respect, her voice sharp and deep. She wore a tight black pencil skirt and a pristine white shirt, completed with high heels. She was beautiful, it wasn’t hard to notice and from the first moment Wanda saw this woman she could tell that this wasn’t random. In your head the kiss turned heated, making you pull the woman towards you as much as you could. She put a single finger under your chin and made you face her, her eyes full of fire. She had a permanent smile on her face, one of calm superiority as she took you in. “Well?” She asked calmly. “Go on sweetheart, tell Mommy what she wants to hear and you can have what you want.” She spoke in the same level, honeyed voice. “I need you, Mommy.” You told her without hesitation. “Please, I need you.”   She examined you for a few seconds at that, as if she could tell if you were lying, before she straddled you, pressing herself against your body and kissed you, easily dominating the kiss and stealing your breath away. “Say that again.” She demanded as her eyes trailed lower for the first time during your encounter. “Please, Mommy, I need you.” You practically begged, your arms wrapping around the woman’s waist and keeping her close. Her next kiss was almost bruising, her tongue delving into your mouth and making you melt. You easily surrendered to her, no fight or resistance even crossing your mind. You knew she always won. You knew that every time you tried, she put you back in your place, made you wait for what you really craved and right now you didn’t want to wait at all. In her bed, Wanda felt the unsettling feeling in her chest of her heart protesting your connection with this woman that she knew nothing about and her gut filled with jealous rage that it was her filling your thoughts and not Wanda and she made a mental note to search your brain for her identity. If she had competition for your affections, she certainly wanted to know, because everything inside her screamed that she could be so much better, she could make you feel so much more, she could offer you extasy you never even dreamt of… If only you’d let her have you. Despite that, her body ached for attention. After the last time she saw one of your fantasies, she had been on edge, waiting for the next one. She had watched you all week, parading yourself in revealing outfits and showing off your body. At the pool, she had grown wet just imagining you being hers. She had been plagued by thoughts of you, plagued by lust and need and she had waited for this moment. Her clit was twitching just from seeing you in your underwear and her walls pulsated around nothing as she imagined it was her kissing you. She was desperate to be touched for days while she waited for you. Now that this was happening, nothing was going to take this away from her, so she ignored the woman’s presence and focused entirely on you, imagining that it was her you were offering yourself to. The woman’s lipstick smeared on your lips, so red and taunting Wanda with its presence, as your mommy undid your bra and threw it carelessly on the floor, her eyes taking in your erect nipples. Her fingers tweaked them for a moment, before she pulled her hands away, making you arch your back to chase after her touch. It was a small action, but Wanda admired the grace of it and she traced your body with her eyes, finding that you had a very realistic vision of yourself. In their thoughts, most people saw a glorified idea of who they wanted to be, but she remembered every curve of your body from yesterday and you were just as perfect in real life as you were in your fantasy, and Wanda felt dangerously close to losing control. She felt the threat of losing the patience she so dutifully practiced. She could easily take over this fantasy, take the place of the woman on top of you. She would be able to feel every touch, every caress, every kiss, she could have you in a snap of her fingers. It would be so easy to make it happen. The old Wanda certainly would. But the person she was trying to be, couldn’t do that to you. Struggling with her power wasn’t new to her. Morality easily blurred when you could have anything, make anything come true with the snap of your fingers. Right and wrong were concepts more easily seen by those without power. For the rare few like her, who could bend reality itself, making good choices was a matter of will and she currently had to exert all of hers, just to keep herself from taking you. She couldn’t violate you in such a way, couldn’t take advantage of you, when you didn’t know what was even going on. It hurt how much she actually wanted to take the place of the imaginary woman, but she knew it shouldn’t happen. Especially not if she wanted to have the real you some day. Hopefully soon. With a sigh, Wanda tried to make herself comfortable on her bed, knowing it was probably impossible, when she couldn’t do the things she wanted. She made her clothes disappear with a flick of her wrist, not wanting anything to get in her way and she watched as the woman in your fantasy continued to massage your breasts. “Always so responsive.” The woman spoke, her voice like liquid chocolate, thick and sweet and making you want more. “That’s just for me, isn’t it?” She asked with a sly smile. Enjoying her touch and completely forgetting yourself, or perhaps on purpose, you ignored her words, moaning at her touch and biting your lips in a way that had Wanda wanting to lean down and kiss them herself. To kiss them until they were swollen and sore and all you could taste was her. “I asked you a question.” The woman snapped, a slap landing on one of your breasts swiftly and making you snap to attention. “I expect an answer.” She added, brow rising, although she didn’t seem at all angry at you. “Unless you want me to leave?” “That would be a shame.” You smiled at her coyly. Her slap hadn’t hurt at all, there was no sting to her actions, just efficiency. “I know.” The woman smiled. “So be a good girl. Unless you want me to make you behave?” She suggested, raising an eyebrow at you. “No, I just want you.” You rasped and you watched the woman’s smile grow into a grin. “That’s my girl.” She praises softly, leaning down to kiss you once more. She trailed kisses down your neck next, sometimes biting the soft flesh only to soothe it with her tongue, moving even lower to spread kisses across your collarbones and the tops of your breasts, her lipstick littering your skin in red marks in the shape of her lips. God, Wanda wanted to make them disappear. She wanted to take over and cover you with marks of her own, hickeys and bruises that will linger, so she could admire them long after she’s had her way with you. The woman continued her path down, her lips closing around one of your erect nipples, sucking on it gently and letting it out with a pop, happily running her tongue over it as she watched you. You liked the sight of it. It was almost as arousing as the feeling it caused and she repeated the action with the other, massaging and kissing your breasts, before she made her way down your body. Your tummy was ticklish, so she was careful, her hands holding you down so you wouldn’t escape her as she made her way even lower, skipping the place you wanted her most. She kissed your thighs slowly, but firmly, nipping at them and drawing out pleasured moans and gasps, her lipstick marks, now much fainter, still showing her path across your body. Teasingly, slowly, as if to taunt your need, as if to drive Wanda crazy for having to wait, your mommy played with your panties, running her hands over your clothed pussy and leaving kisses. Her hot breath and the light pressure of her lips against your sex had you squirming with need, an outline of a wet patch forming and getting more prominent by the minute, but she didn’t seem to care. She loved teasing you. And when she had enough, she pulled the fabric to the side, only to find a surprise in the form of a small jeweled butt plug inside you.   Wanda gasped at the sight, her pussy twitching in reaction and she hurried to appease her body, starting slow circles against her clit. So you’d let her have all your holes, she thought happily, smirking at the idea. God, the possibilities. She’d have to buy some more fun toys for you. “Is this for me?” The woman asked in a low voice, her thumb putting pressure on the toy as she looked at you, causing a stifled moan to escape you. “All for you, Mommy.” You confirmed happily and she gave you an approving hum. Not wanting to waste any more time, the woman, swiped her tongue over your clit and sighing at your delicate taste. She lapped up your juices with a devilish smirk, the small plug helping her flood your senses with pleasure. She knew you needed so much more of her and she loved that she got to build you up slowly, only providing real stimulation when she’d licked you clean. “Remember the rules, dear. Good girls ask for permission when they want to cum.” Your Mommy reminded, finally wrapping her lips around your clit and starting to circle her tongue over it, making you arch your back in pleasure. God, you were a tease. Wanda would have made you cum already and she’d be bending you over for round two by now. Waiting for you, she hadn’t gotten any relief and despite her efforts to pace herself, she wanted to cum. But she wanted to do it with you and with all her magic surrounding you, she knew you weren’t there yet and your slow pace was frustrating her. Lost in the throws of passion, you let the imaginary woman play her game, your real body playing along. You stimulated yourself to the images in your head, your orgasm building steadily, until you were at the edge, your muscles tightening in anticipation. “Mommy, can I please cum?” You begged the woman between your legs, ready to explore, Wanda close behind you and waiting for the moment she’ll get her patience rewarded, but the woman pulled away. “No.” She responded simply, licking her lips from your arousal and the real you did as you were told, your hands pulling away from your pussy and riding the edge. Disappointingly, infuriatingly, Wanda pulled her own hands away as well, waiting for that edge to pass as she watched you. You seemed to enjoy the game, but she quickly realized it was because you knew you’d make yourself finish in the end. She’d have to show you what real edging feels like when it’s her turn, but for now she wanted this first time to be on your terms. To reach that moment of bliss and share it with you, so she watched as the woman finally pulled down your panties and started to tease you again, this time using her fingers. The woman used a single finger at your opening, dipping it in your wetness. “Do you want me inside you, pretty girl?” She asked, as if she couldn’t see the way you bucked your hips. “Please, Mommy, please, I want you inside me.” You begged, sighing in satisfaction as she sunk inside you. Your mommy entered you slowly, your pussy gripping her tightly. She worked it in and out of you, watching you moan and squirm, your real hand matching her movements. It wasn’t enough, you needed so much more, but your mommy wanted to stretch you out properly, playing with the plug inside you just as much as she did your pussy, only allowing you two fingers when you begged her. Wanda watched the fingers spread your walls, entering you smoothly, accommodated by your pussy. They fit snugly inside you and she marveled at how tight you were. God, she could only imagine how you’ll feel around her own digits. Or better yet, how well she’ll stretch you with her cock. A spell could even help her feel you through the toy. Oh, you’d feel so good wrapped around her, she just knew it. All doe eyed and full of lust and longing, while she thrust herself deep inside you… Fuck, if you let her do that, she’d never let you go. She knew she could do it, make you feel more pleasure than you’ve ever known. The possibilities were endless for her, she could do things no other lover ever could or would do for you. The voice inside her head, entirely her own, told her that she could ruin you. Wanda could make you beg to be fucked, to be touched, to be hers. As she thought all that, she reached down between her spread legs, playing with her wetness, before she entered herself, just as she watched you get filled up. It didn’t take long for another orgasm to build within you, the woman’s fingers curling deliciously to hit your sweet spot had you on the edge in minutes and Wanda braced herself for it, focusing on you, so she wouldn’t miss the moment. “Mommy, can I please cum? Please!” She heard your sweet voice, begging for release, the anticipation building and making you cry out, when the woman pulled her fingers away. “Not like that.” She said, her voice rough. She waited for the orgasm to subside, tweaking your nipples and rubbing the pad of her thumb over the plug, making you grow needier and admiring the view of you in such a state. You were a desperate mess, your pussy leaking juices and achingly clenching in an attempt to relieve the built up tension within you. “You want to cum?” She asked in a growl, her fingers playing with the plug. “Yes, please!” You begged, your back arching, until she pressed you back down. “I bet you wanted me in your tight little hole as well. Isn’t that why you put that little toy inside?” She asked in mocking pity. “Well, I’m not that nice. You can either have the orgasm you begged me so much for and I’ll keep that toy in there, until I decide I want to use you again, or I’ll play with it now and you’ll stay edged until I decide you deserve to cum. What will it be, honey?”   In her bed, Wanda groaned at the words. As much as she appreciated the twistedness of it, something she herself might have done, she wasn’t going to be able to wait much longer and she hoped to God you wouldn’t make her edge herself yet again, her breath caught in her throat as she waited for your answer. “I want to cum, Mommy, please!” You begged, your voice shaky and uneven and the woman smirked. “Have it your way.” She said, as if this wasn’t what she intended, her fingers returning on your pussy once more, circling your clit a little, before they entered you again, making you gasp. She moved them in and out of you steadily, hitting the perfect spot inside you every time and making you see stars. Your hands gripped the sheets in a futile attempt to ground yourself, but it was useless. The woman leaned down, her tongue joining her efforts and in her bed Wanda did the same, pumping inside herself and circling her clit with her other hand, feeling herself get impossibly close and knowing that you were too. She could feel you. The real you, hidden away in your home, doing exactly the same thing Wanda did and the sorceress found a twisted pleasure in such a connection. She could feel you, feel all that energy inside you, while your mind painted the prettiest picture of yourself getting fucked, a private show just for her and she was beside herself with pleasure. “Mommy, I’m gonna…” You almost screamed, reaching your peak for the third time and allowing yourself to fall over the edge in an orgasm that shook you completely. In her bed, Wanda fell apart as well, having one of the most intense orgasms of her life. A pulsing pleasure that started at her core and spread over her entire body. It kept coming in waves, and she barely stifled her moans at the sheer strength of it, riding it out at the image of your writhing body. When both of you calmed down, she was surprised to see you still inside the little fantasy, your physical body content, but your mind still lingering there. The woman pulled away from your body, looking proud of herself and she crawled up to you, giving you a gentle kiss on the lips, her palm caressing your cheek softly, before she put two fingers under your chin and made you face her. “When I get back, I better find that gem exactly where it is.” She reminded you with a smile, the fantasy starting to slowly disappear as you watched her walk away.                                                    *             *             * Now, fully alone, Wanda sighed. That experience was better than she hoped for. It felt earth-shattering. She felt like she really connected with you, like she really shared something meaningful with you. Yes, that might have been a little delusional, you had no idea she was spying on your private thoughts, but she couldn’t help how she felt. She wanted to be close to you and as she relaxed into her bed, actually weightless and satisfied, she thought that this truly would be a wonderful day. _______________________________________________________ I know I made you guys wait for this one, but the chapter is finally here and I’ll start working on the next one as well.  Wanna tell me what you think of it?

You Don't Have To Convince Me

Characters: Mycroft Holmes x reader

Summary: Mycroft’s second year of university is quite eventful, and there is nobody else he would rather have spent it with.

Word Count: 2912 words

Prompt: Fluff. Best friends. Roommates. Blurted out confession. Falling asleep on them.

A/N: @royalydamned and @savvy-devine666 both had similar requests, so I merged them to create this bit of fluff, and it made my heart very happy. This on kinda got away from me if I’m being totally honest and ended up being three times longer than anticipated, so please reblog if you like it.

Placing the last of his boxes onto his bed, Mycroft straightened up and surveyed his new room for the year. This would do nicely. Definitely better than the cramped first year building which was situated outside the college walls. This room was much more what he had thought of when he had first applied to Oxford. The beautiful ornate stonework of the leaden windows which looked out onto the courtyard would provide the perfect light for studying. The simply exquisite fireplace with its original blue tiles could hold a multitude of books on its mantle. He smiled to himself as he spotted the door to his very own ensuite, no more shared bathroom!

The soft knock on his doorframe had him turning his head, his smile only growing when he saw who it was had interrupted him.

“I wasn’t even the highest up on the ballot this year, can you imagine what sort of rooms those guys got?” You asked with a bright smile as you folded your arms across your chest and leaned against the doorframe.

“Well, they most likely are not finding they have to share a vestibule with their neighbour.”

“Oh, yes, because sharing this small space right here, with me, that would make your stunning view almost unbearable.”

“It does take the shine off it somewhat, but I will soldier on.”

“I bet you will. Just letting you know, I’m putting my umbrella stand out here. Feel free to use it.”

“I will, thank you.”

“Right, well, I’m going to unpack a little before dinner. I can’t believe they made the first dinner back a formal one! I’m not even sure which box I’ve shoved my robes in.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle as he watched you go, a warmth in his chest that he couldn’t quite explain. He had missed you over the summer, and to find you were now practically roommates gave him high hopes for this year, such a contrast to his last.

The unlikely friendship between the two of you had come about because you had decided it would. His first term at Oxford had been truly miserable; the accommodation was basic, the food even more so, having to share his space with strangers, many of whom had no concept of cleanliness or hygiene, his courses were elementary, although many of his peers appeared to struggle to keep up. Mycroft had found himself as lonely and bored as he had at school, leading him to spend his time alone, something which you had noticed around late October.

He had been sitting in the cloisters, sheltered from the wind as he read, reluctant to return to the halls of residence and the chaos that would bring. You had sat down beside him, not even asked, just sat there. Curiosity eventually got the better of him, and he had looked up only to find you smiling sweetly. You had introduced yourself to him and immediately began talking about the architecture that surrounded you both. The information was rudimentary, obviously what you had picked up from your campus tour, but he found himself hanging on your every word. From that moment on, you seemed to appear by his side, and after a few weeks, Mycroft had found himself seeking you out too. A strange sort of friendship, but it worked. You were his best friend. His best friend who, he had realised over the summer, he was hopelessly in love with.

Spending time with you was so easy. Although you would often offer him an excuse to be in his presence, he had never really needed one. You didn’t have to sell him on spending his time with you. In fact, that was probably one of the only things he never needed convincing of. Just sitting quietly with you as you both read, or as he read and you talked about anything that came to your mind, that was more than enough for Mycroft. He cherished it, and so he knew he would never risk losing you by expressing his growing desire to be more than your best friend.

“MYCROFT! THERE’S A SPIDER!” Your shriek had him shaking his head fondly as he made his way to your room, prepared to save you from the errant arachnid.

Bundled up against the chilly April wind, the two of you wandered through the grounds. The idea had been to get some fresh air. This was an idea that both of you were now regretting as the sky above grew grey, filling with foreboding clouds. So much for the joys of Spring. The thought that it was more likely to snow at this time of year than December entered his mind, but he decided to keep that to himself. Despite the poor weather, he had you all to himself out here and he wanted to hold onto that a little longer.

As you made your way along Addison’s Walk, Mycroft felt the silence between you was rather loaded. That had been happening more often, what had once been a pleasant, peaceful quiet had now become thick with all the things he tried not to let escape him. In an attempt to diffuse the situation, he endeavored to make small talk.  

“C.S. Lewis wrote Chanson d’Aventure about this walk.” He said stiffly as he shoved his hands deeper into his pockets in a bid to negate the urge to reach for your hand.

“That knowledge would indeed be more impressive if I didn’t also know about the plaque by the Holywell Ford gate that tells you that. Although you probably have known that fact since you were three.” You teased with a soft smile, glancing up at him as his cheeks flushed slightly.

“Okay, well…” He stopped and looked out over the meadow, eyes searching. “…ah, there. You see those purple flowers over there?”

“The ones that look like drooped tulips?” You asked, moving to his side and following his gaze. For a moment, Mycroft could neither deny nor confirm your question as you had now successfully invaded his personal space, and his brain seemed to lose half its IQ points.

“Erm, yeah. Yeah.” He nodded, no longer looking out at the flowers.

“What about them?” You asked, always interested in whatever fact your friend wanted to impart.

“Oh, erm, they are called Fritillaria meleagris, or snakes head. They are incredibly rare, and they have been growing here in this meadow for over 200 years. If you get up close then you can see they have this beautiful pattern, like the scales of a snake.”

“Hence the name.”

“Yes, rather.” He smiled. You never told him to stop showing off, or that he was boring. You rather seemed to enjoy his breadth of knowledge, even if most would deem it useless.

“Probably best not to pick a whole bunch then.”

“I suspect that might get you into trouble.”

“Well, if I am going to get into trouble, I would want it to be for something much more fun than picking flowers. I mean, they are pretty, but they aren’t my favourites.”

“I am aware.” Mycroft hummed, having committed any and all facts about you to memory.

“I have no idea how you fit it all into that brilliant mind of yours. I swear, when we are old and grey and in a nursing home, you will still be able to tell me what I was wearing the first day we met.” You chuckled, looping your arm through his as you began to walk back towards Buckingham Court.

“Would you not think that strange? Creepy, even? If out of the blue, I told you something like that?” Curiosity and nerves tinged the edge of his voice as the two of you fell into step. He was used to people being repulsed by his manner, his mind, him in general. Yet, here you were, not trying to change him or fix him in any way, just happy with who he was. Still, he couldn’t quiet the noises in his head, the voices of the past telling him he was weird, peculiar, not right.

“I think it’s rather impressive. I mean, to be honest, you could tell me I was wearing almost anything, and I’d probably agree because I have no clue what I was wearing on the day we met. I think you could tell me a different thing each time.” Your laughter hung in the air like a beautiful melody that he longed to cling to.

“Blue denim jeans which were too baggy for you, rolled up at the cuffs, an oversized grey knitted jumper with pink lines across the bottom that hung off your shoulder and showed the white t-shirt you had on underneath, and white trainers with scuffmarks on the toes from where you kick them off. Your hair was in your face, and you had a blue bic biro in your mouth.” The memory was engrained in his mind, the way you had smiled around that pen before removing it from your lips and launching into talking as if you had simply been paused mid conversation.

“See. That sounds like something I would wear but I can’t say for sure you’re right. I’ve just got to trust you, Mycroft Holmes.” You shrugged, totally non-plussed by his revelation, an action that made his heart race. You saw who he really was and didn’t run away screaming, how could he ever find the words to tell you how much you meant to him?

“I still can’t believe you got tickets for this! They are like gold dust.” You grinned at him as you took your seat on the blanket.

“Well, we do get first dibs, I believe that is the term.” Mycroft smiled as he sat beside you, leaving a respectable distance between the two of you, a distance you wasted no time in irradicating.

“I know, but the Magdalen film night is one of the social events of the year! I wanted to come last year but tickets were all gone so fast.”

“And that’s why I ensured we got some this year.” He didn’t feel the need to tell you that he had practically bribed everyone who had any influence to make certain you could join the other students on the lawn and watch a film on a large makeshift screen.

The film wasn’t one Mycroft had any deep desire to watch, but sitting with you, on a blanket on the lawn, as the last warm rays of the summer sun set and gave way to a stelliferous sky, that was something he could tolerate a below par film for. Anything to make you happy. Mycroft had realised that he was much better at compromise, but only when it came to you.

He had to admit, the organization of the event was excellent, and he was glad that he had brought enough cushions to ensure you were comfortable. At some point, he had lost the thread of the film, too distracted by the weight of your body pressed against his as you leaned on him. Your head rested against his shoulder so perfectly it was as if it was molded to be right there and he slowly gave in to the desire to rest his cheek on the top of your head, his eyes fluttering closed as he held his breath.

The evening began to cool, and he found you snuggling into him a little more, seeking out his heat to fight the goosebumps erupting on your bare skin. Shifting slightly, he picked up his discarded jacket and draped it over your shoulders, his fingers lingering on your upper arm before returning to the blanket as a joist to prop you both up. Despite being surrounded by people, this felt incredibly intimate, even more so when you let out a soft, sleepy sigh and laid your head more against his chest.

The film eventually came to an end, but the mixture of fresh air and long days studying had resulted in you dozing off at some point, your arm resting around his waist and nose pressed to his chest. Mycroft was at an absolute loss for what to do, uncertain of the etiquette in such circumstances. He was aware of people noticing his predicament, met with knowing smirks as he fought the urge to tell them that this wasn’t what they thought, desperate to protect your reputation.

Deciding that the only course of action was to wake you, he gently brushed the hair back from your face and leaned down to speak softly.

“Darling, the film has finished.” He tried, but there was no response from you at all. “You really would be much better sleeping in a bed, my dear. I cannot imagine that I am that comfortable.”

“hmmmm.” You sighed softly, nuzzling into him as you stretched a little.

“I would have offered to carry you, but sadly I am unable to carry both you and all the cushions and blanket. A failing, I know, but sadly I am sorely lacking in these situations.”

“You need a hand, mate?” One of the rowing club had wandered over and Mycroft immediately felt even more inadequate. “Your other half seems to be deep in a REM cycle. How about you carry them, and I’ll grab the blanket and stuff?”

“Thank you.” Mycroft managed a tight smile, he did not wish to correct the boys mistake for two reasons, the first was that it sent a heat through him hearing someone else refer to the two of you as a couple, and the second was the concern that if he admitted you were not his, then perhaps this attractive young man would take you from his arms.

As he walked towards your halls, he felt you nuzzle into him, your warm breath fanning across his skin, and just for a second he could have sworn your lips brushed across his neck, an act that almost caused him to drop you. Surely it had been a sleepy accident, not intended. There was no way you could see him as more than a friend. Right?

“I don’t see why we have to move rooms every year. It seems like unnecessary upheaval if you ask me.” You huffed as you sat down heavily on his bed, surveying the many boxes that were stacked around his room.

“Perhaps your new room will be even better than your current one.” Mycroft reasoned, leaning against his desk.

“Not possible. My room this year is perfect. I don’t want to move to Mallory Court. Why can’t we stay right here?” You pouted, your brow furrowing in a way Mycroft couldn’t help but think was adorable. “I mean, I’ve got to lug all my stuff into storage and then all the way to Mallory! At least you get to stay here in Buckingham.”

“I still have to move my things into storage and then back out. One might argue that my moving things is more pointless than you moving things.” He tried to make the situation light even though the thought of residing so far from you twisted his stomach. You had been so close all year and now…

“You’ll come visit me, right?”

“You do realise you are not moving to another city, just another courtyard. It is a five-minute walk at most.” He chuckled.

“Yeah! A whole five minutes!” You said dramatically. “What if I need you?”

“Well, if you need me, then I will be right there. You’ll just have to give me five minutes.”

“Are you sure you need your own room? Can I not convince you to come live in my wardrobe?”

“Darling, as much as the idea of living in a wardrobe is intriguing, we both know just how much you cram into your wardrobe. I fear there is simply not room for me in there as well.”

“You will miss me though, right?” You looked up at him and his knees felt weak as he gripped the edge of the desk. “You won’t go spending all your time with your new neighbours?”

“I will not miss you, because we will still see each other all the time. I promise.” He said softly as you got up and made your way over to him. Your arms wrapped around his middle, and you placed your head on his chest, hugging him in a way that felt familiar and new all at once, despite the increased frequency of such interactions between you.

“God, I love you.” He murmured into your hair. It wasn’t until he felt you stiffen that he realised his inner monologue had escaped his lips. His eyes widened and he looked down to find you looking at him curiously.

“I- Just to clarify, for my own clarification really, were you saying that to God? Because I didn’t think you were a deeply religious person. OR was that about me? And IF it was about me, was it like ‘I love you, like a sister’ or… or was it more like ‘I love you so much that the thought of being parted makes it hard to breathe’?”

His mouth opened and closed a few times, his vast vocabulary failing him at such a crucial juncture. You must have seen something in his eyes though, because you took a deep, determined breath.

“Because, if I am being honest, at the risk of completely fucking this up and you leaving for the summer and never wanting to see me again, I am really hoping it’s the latter, because I think that I have actually been very much in love with you since first year.”

“Really?” he spluttered, not quite believing this was real.

“Shit. I’ve really fucked this up haven’t I? Sorry. Pretend I didn’t just say all that and we can go pack up our rooms and have-“ Your rant was interrupted by Mycroft’s lips pressing against yours.

As far as first kisses go, it wasn’t perfect. Although he was technically aware of how these things were done, his inexperience was very evident, but that didn’t matter in that moment as he felt you melt into him. When you did finally pull back to catch your breath, you both had goofy smiles on your lips.

“It was most certainly the ‘I love you so much I cannot imagine my life without you in it,’ kind of I love you. The ‘I am not sure how much studying I am going to be able to get done next year because all I want to do is kiss you,’ kind of I love you. Just for clarification.” He smirked, earning a light smack to his chest as you chuckled.

“This moment, this one right now, it’s one you will absolutely tell me about in that nursing home. You’d better be adding it to the list.”

“Oh, trust me, my dear, it is forever committed to my memory.” He hummed as you nuzzled his nose before leaning in for another of many kisses.

Gasoline

a/n: hi! so this is my first time writing for Wanda romantically and idk how i really feel about it but this prompt popped in my head and i just felt like it fit her the most. edit: all 3 parts are out!!

warning(s): arguments - fighting; insecurities (both); fear; terribly written arguments; very slight mentions of emotional abusive past

wanda maximoff taglist:

word count: 1.2k

disclaimer: i try and write wanda maximoff as rromani and Jewish as she is in the comics, her descriptions will be akin to those in the comics, i haven’t read many of the marvel comics so if i get something wrong, you are free to tell me (respectfully) in my ask box or dms <3

You don’t know how the argument started. One minute, you were enjoying a nice quiet evening with your girlfriend, reading on the couch while she did magic in the kitchen. Not literal magic, though you know she could, but cooking up the most delicious of smells. It could’ve started after you stated how nice it was to finally have some time together. After all, in the past couple of weeks, you’d only seen your girlfriend a couple of times.

Now, dinner forgotten on the counter, your book strewn across the couch, you and Wanda stood across from each other, arguing over the most trivial things.

“That’s not what I was saying Wanda! I just was enjoying some time together!”

“So you think I’ve been neglecting you?”

You threw your hands in the hair, exasperated.

“Wha-no! That’s not what I was saying at all! I understand you have to go on missions and I respect that but I also want days where I can just spend time with my partner!”

Wanda was silent for a moment before answering.

“Do you?”

You scrunched your eyebrows in confusion.

“Do I what?”

Wanda’s eyes took on a reddish glow, her power boiling under the surface. The last few weeks, to put it simply, had been hell. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the victims of the villain she had been too late to defeat. Every time she got to be alone, some lunatic attacked Times Square. Your supposedly simple comment was like throwing a match on a puddle of gasoline.

“Do you understand I have to go on missions? Because every time I come home, you point out I was gone! I know I was! I was surrounded by hurt people, by my struggling fellow Avengers, and I knew I wasn’t with you!”

Her voice slowly got louder, freezing you into place. Your breathing increased but you tried to calm yourself down.

Wanda wouldn’t yell at you, she knew your history, you had no reason to be afraid.

Oh how wrong you turned out to be.

“I’m tired of it, Y/N! I’m tired of coming home and hearing you complain about me being away! My job is hard enough!”

With every octave her voice rose, your chest starting heaving with labored breaths. Wanda, in her anger, didn’t seem to notice your quiet state, how you had practically curled in towards yourself, how your eyes had gone wide. She raised her hands in the air, frustration rolling off of her in waves.

“It’s so annoying! Maybe if it bothers you so much that I’m away, I’ll just quit! Huh? Then more people would get hurt because I wasn’t there, all for the fact my girlfriend can’t spend a few measly hours alone!” She only paused to catch her breath, before yelling out something she would immediately regret, “Maybe I shouldn’t come home at all, how would that make you feel?”

The air was sucked out of the room. Wanda felt her eyes widen as she realized what she had said and done. It was like she could see you again, you staring at her, eyes wide with betrayal, glossing over with past memories. Memories she knew you had started to forget. Memories of long night spent huddled in a corner as they yelled at you, as they broke you down into a million pieces and then didn’t pick you up.

Wanda covered her mouth with her hand, shaking her head.

“No, Y/N, that’s not what I-”

She took a step forward, arms reaching out to console you, but paused at your reaction.

You flinched.

It was like running into a brick wall. Wanda felt like someone had dropped ice water on her.

You took a shaky step back, Wanda’s heart breaking at the fearful look on your face. You swallowed a few times before speaking, your voice surprisingly clear.

“I think- I think I’m going to stay at Yelena’s tonight.”

With that, you grabbed your phone and keys and walked out the door, not once looking back at Wanda, who remained frozen in the kitchen.

Once she heard the door shut, she snapped out of it.

“Wait-!” She stepped forward before realizing it was too late. Tears welled up in her eyes, angry at herself. God, how could she be so stupid? You had told her about your past, how it had scarred you. And she just-

Oh no. What if you didn’t come back? Had she broken the one thing that was whole in her life? Why had she allowed one innocent comment to anger her so?

With every thought running through her mind, Wanda ran her hands through her hair, the dark brown strands sticking every direction. Crying, Wanda fell to her knees, head shaking. With one wail, she let out a burst of magic, shaking the cabinets and counters. Curling up against the island, Wanda pulled out her phone and opened your contact. But she couldn’t convince herself to call you, she was sure you wouldn’t answer. Leaning her forehead against the cold metal device, Wanda spoke out loud.

“Oh Y/N, beba. I’m sorry. Žao mi je moja ljubavi.”

—————————————————————————————————

At Yelena’s apartment, you weren’t much better. Curled up in a soft blanket on the couch, you listened to your best friend rant about she was going to kill your girlfriend.

“Yelena.” You murmured softly, making your friend stop talking and come to sit next to you on the couch. She handed you a bowl of mac n’ cheese but you shook your head.

“Are you sure? I didn’t add hot sauce this time, I promise.”

You giggled at what she said but still didn’t take the bowl. A wave of sadness overtook you, tears welled up in your eyes, and you leaned your head backwards on the couch.

“Oh God, ‘Lena, how could I have been so stupid?”

Yelena tried to comfort you but you continued.

“Why did I have to say something? I mean the night was going so peacefully and nice and I just had to run my mouth! I should’ve known she was stressed and now,” You sobbed, tears rapidly falling down your face, “Now, she doesn’t even want to be around me! What if when I go home she has all my things packed? Oh no, what if, what if she finds someone else? Someone who doesn’t complain when she’s gone or looses sleep just because she isn’t there in bed? What if-”

Yelena gently but firmly grabbed your hands, the look in her eyes making you pause.

“You’re spiraling, Y/N, come on, take a deep breath, in and out,” she rubbed your back, pulling you in for a hug, “It’s going to be alright. Wanda loves you and even though she totally messed up tonight, she’s not going to find someone else or kick you out. You are irreplaceable.”

You smiled against Yelena’s shoulder, tears stilling falling from your eyes.

“Is it okay if I spend the night?” You mumbled against your friend. Yelena looked over to her phone, which she had put on mute, where 75 call notifications lit up her screen. All were from Wanda. Looking back to your shaking form, your best friend tightened her arms around you.

“You can stay for the night Y/N or however long you need.”

——————————————————————————————————-

a/n: ok ik that really didn’t make sense but thank you so much for reading! if anyone wants a part two let me know! Hopefully i did okay while writing Wanda’s character! feel free to send in requests for her <3

italics were words in serbian:

beba = baby

Žao mi je moja ljubavi = I’m sorry my love

Aftershocks — steddie.

Summary: After the Russian interrogation takes a greater toll on Steve than expected, he tries to hide the seizures from Eddie. Everything is fine until the Upside Down comes back. Prompt: A2 - “I am not a role model” Pairing: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson Rating: Teen Word Count: 3.6k Content Warnings: Descriptions of seizures, Mild language Also Read On AO3: Here A/N: Am I back with another completely self-indulgent fic where I put my own problems on a comfort character? Maybe. Regardless, this is another fill for @harringroveson-bingo ! A huge huge thanks to @serenity-lattes because once again, this wouldn't have gotten done without them. Between headcanoning, encouring me to write it, helping to write a bit of it, and beta-ing? Yeah, basically a co-writer over here. Also a huge thanks to @lcvingprentjss for encouraging this to be written and beta-ing, and as always, for putting up with the incessant screaming while this was a work in progress. Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy!

The first time it happened, Steve wasn’t sure what to think.

Five nights after the battle at Starcourt, when the bruises were beginning to fade and the cuts were scabbed over, Steve woke up in the middle of the night. It felt like his body was fighting an invisible enemy—his limbs moving against his own accord and his back arching then relaxing in such a stilted way he struggled to catch his breath. It only lasted a few seconds, not even half a minute, but Steve was sure it had been hours. 

He didn’t get back to sleep that night, preferring instead to sit awake on the couch with a book in his lap he’d never read. He sat guard against whatever it was that made his body move that way, keeping every light in the living room on to warn against some Upside Down force that was capable of taking over him the way it had taken over Will and Billy. 

The next morning when Robin slipped into the Beemer and asked why he looked so tired, Steve almost told her. The words got caught though, sticking to the roof of his mouth like caramel as he fought to let her in. Everyone always thought there was something wrong with his head because of failing school so badly, why prove them right?

So even when it happened again a week and a half later, then again two weeks after that, Steve didn’t say a word. He got better at managing it—learning to sleep with several pillows around him so he stopped smacking his arm against the wall so harshly it bruised, always disappearing to his own room when the Party, Nancy, Jon, and Robin would sleep piled up in the living room lest they all get scared by it. Even when Eddie would come over to help them both get some sleep, Steve would disappear into the bathroom when he could feel the warning signs, dragging as many pillows and blankets as he could out of the closet without waking up the other man.

Steve did what he always did: he managed on his own. 

There didn’t seem to be any one obvious trigger. Sometimes he woke up in the middle of one, other times, a sound would hit the right pitch for just enough time to send him straight to the ground. Though, the ones that terrified him the most, came out of nowhere, with little warning. 

It had been one of those that almost spoiled his secret for him, during one of his and Robin’s shifts at the Family Video. It had been a good day, for all intents and purposes. Tuesdays were never particularly busy, but there was a big enough rush when the high school let out that kept them both from total boredom. 

Except as Steve leaned against the main counter, he could feel a pressure building in the back of his head. It was an odd tugging sensation, one that gave him a sense of what stars must feel like when they curl in on themselves and become a black hole. Almost immediately his heart rate picked up, eyes scanning for a good enough escape. Running out the front door would be too obvious, and would inherently produce a handful of worried phone calls after Robin told all of their friends, and worse, his boyfriend. The only other spot for any sort of privacy was the backroom where they took their breaks, consisting of only an old table and a barely functioning TV. There was no padding there, nothing to protect himself from whatever his body did while he lost control, but it was his only option if he didn’t want Robin to find out.

“I’m taking a break,” Steve choked out, wincing at the way his voice shook involuntarily. 

“What? Hey, dingus, I don’t know if you forgot but you took your break twe—Fine! You owe me!” Robin shouted after him, not sounding particularly angry but annoyed enough that Steve was sure he’d hear it later.

It was the closest call he’d had in a while. Nearly the second Steve turned the lock on the door, his knees were crumpling under the weight of him. He had just enough sense to grab haphazardly at the edge of the table, slowing his fall just enough so he wouldn’t hit his head again. 

There were varying degrees of these episodes. Sometimes Steve wouldn’t fully jerk around oddly but would lose time without much warning. Others, he’d clench up and jerk so badly his joints would ache for days afterward, sometimes straining his muscles like he’d gotten injured playing sports. This was one of those other times, as nearly every muscle locked up painfully the second he hit the ground. Steve was never sure how long they lasted, but by the time he could pick himself up and swipe the tears off of his face, Robin was making a joke about how only Steve Harrington could get lost in the backroom.

Eventually, Steve began to figure out how to handle it. He knew that when the lights on the TV began flashing too much to close his eyes tight and knew all of the excuses for the bruises and scrapes that would work on the others. And though Steve knew he’d never quite be as okay as he was before the Russians, he found a system that worked well enough. It wasn’t perfect—there were still moments in time when it grew tough to hide how much he was hurting, how scared he was when a string of episodes happened too close to one another. These were the moments that threatened to destroy all the work he’d put in to seem okay because with one look Robin seemed to see right through him on those days. 

She knew something was wrong. After everything they’d gone through together, after all of the painful days post-Starcourt they’d spent reassuring each other that they were fine, that no one was coming after them, it was impossible for her to not see the fear lingering in his eyes. Robin always asked him, sometimes with a look far more effective than any words could have been, but Steve would shrug it off, distracting her with another joke or topic change. 

It worked on Eddie too. He hated making him worry, especially after Eddie had spent so much time helping him recover from the “mall fire” Steve had been caught in. After so many late nights Eddie spent holding onto Steve, promising that whatever it was that had happened in the mall was over, Eddie recognized the signs of hurt. Steve was struggling again, his hair more unkempt and those dark circles reappearing under his eyes as he feared sleep again, scared to wake up without control again. He hated it, hated that even after surviving everything it still wasn’t over for him, but he would hate bringing Eddie into this even more than he already had. Eddie got to be free from the Upside Down and all of its horrors, and like hell would Steve ever be the one to ruin that for him.

Except, sometimes there really never was a choice, it seemed. Because months later, when Steve had begun to get into a rhythm with his episodes, everything turned on its head. Suddenly he was getting a phone call in the middle of the night from Wayne Munson, saying that there was a dead body in the trailer and Eddie was missing, that the cops thought he did it no matter how many times Wayne said that their Eddie couldn’t have.

How many times would they defeat the Upside Down only to have it return again? They keep sacrificing everything, only for it to come back even stronger a year later. There was nothing worse than seeing that haunted look on Eddie’s face: the one Steve was sure he’d given once, when he was sure the demodogs would have taken him out in the tunnels what felt like decades ago. But there was no real time to explain everything, only giving bits and pieces of the years they’d spent at war with this thing so Eddie would know what they were facing. 

Steve supposed, after everything, it only made sense for the Upside Down to take this from him too, this secret he’d kept carefully wrapped up now exposed for his friends to see.

It happened after he’d been pulled through the bottom of Lover’s Lake into the Upside Down. After struggling for breath in the water, and then having to fight his way out of the hold of dozens of weird demobats with sharp claws and even sharper teeth, Steve wasn’t surprised when he felt that familiar tugging at the base of his skull.

“Oh, shit,” he hissed after spitting out the gluey blood from one of the bats. 

The second Steve was on the ground, the others’ attention was pulled away from the strange world around them to focus on him. The convulsing wasn’t as bad as it had been in the past, though Steve could feel his muscles locked up so tightly he was sure something would tear if his body moved wrong. What made this one the worst, though, was that he had three of the most important people in his life standing over him now.

“Steve?” Nancy asked, face contorting into pure concern.

Robin laughed at first, even nudging his hip a little with the tip of her shoe. “C’mon, dingus, very funny. Rabies doesn’t even do that until 24 hours aft—Shit, Steve, Steve are you okay?” The amusement quickly morphed into panic as Steve didn’t get back up off the ground. “What’s happening?”

“He’s seizing,” Nancy spoke up, instantly taking the lead once she recognized what was happening. “Quick, we have to get him on his side so he doesn’t hurt himself.”

Steve could feel hands on him, Nancy’s smaller ones pushing his legs while Eddie’s moved his torso into the right position, holding onto him as tightly as he dared to keep his body from moving back to the supine position. 

“Stevie, baby, it’s gonna be okay,” Eddie choked out, not even bothering to hide the tears building and falling from his eyes. The past few days had been like his own personal preview of Hell, but this? Seeing the love of his life suffering without being able to do anything but hold onto him? Eddie was sure nothing else could ever be as terrible. “You’re gonna be okay.”

Eddie repeated it for the full episode, using his free hand to brush through Steve’s hair as his body began to relax under Eddie’s hands. “What was that, baby?” Eddie dared to ask after Steve had time to catch his breath, instinctively turning further on his side to hide his face from Eddie. 

It wasn’t that he was ashamed, but the idea of Eddie, Robin, and Nancy having to see him like that made his chest hurt worse than the lack of oxygen. It made him hiccup, his chest stuttering harshly as he fought off the tears he so badly wanted to let out.

“No, ‘s fine. I’m fine,” Steve answered as he began to force his breathing into something that resembled normal, sitting up and pointedly staring at the ground between him and Eddie. “It’s just a thing that happens sometimes, it’s not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal? What the hell, Harrington!” It was Robin who lashed out first, standing a few steps away from where the other three were huddled together on the ground. Her hands were pulling on her hair harshly, tears streaking down her face, and the kind of fear that Steve hadn’t seen since they were being interrogated in the mall basement was written clearly in her eyes. “That is the opposite of not a big deal. You collapsed. I thought you were dying.”

Steve picked at the cuff of one of his pant legs, mourning the way he’d have to ditch his favorite pair of jeans when all of this was over. It was better than seeing the distress on all of his friends' faces, seeing everything he’d fought so hard to avoid.

“How long has this been happening, Steve?” Nancy asked, her voice gentle like she was scared anything more than a whisper would spook him. Steve shrugged, working his jaw as if he might eventually answer even when he had no intention to. “You could’ve told us. We could’ve helped.”

“Didn’t want you to,” Steve murmured, suddenly shaking his head and climbing to his feet. He brushed off the three pairs of worried hands that immediately reached for him, taking a large step back so they couldn’t stop him. “Don’t. Let’s just get moving, okay? We have to find a way outta here.”

“Stevie, we have to ta—” Eddie began, and Steve would hate himself for it later but he couldn’t help but turn on him, cheeks burning with all of the frustration, fear, and humiliation he was feeling after making his friends witness that.

“Just drop it, Eddie. I’m not talking about it, not when we have better things to do,” Steve snapped, picking a direction and immediately starting off toward the horizon, not bothering to check if anyone else was following.

No one said anything for a long time. It wasn’t until Robin and Nancy walked ahead of them in the weird forest that Eddie spoke again. They were walking so close that Eddie’s shoulder brushed Steve’s, still exposed to the chill despite the vest that Eddie had wrapped him up in moments before. It wasn’t the first time Steve had worn something of Eddie’s, but it was the first time Eddie ever let anyone but himself touch his battle vest. 

Steve didn’t have the brain power to consider the implications of that.

“Are you really okay?” Eddie asked when it was just the two of them, watching where he was walking but stealing glances at Steve every second he could like if he didn’t then Steve would collapse again.

“I’d be better if everyone stopped asking me that,” Steve huffed, looking up at the red-tinged sky like it might hold the answers he was looking for. The annoyance felt odd on his tongue, barbed and misfitting as he lobbed it harshly at Eddie. The man was just worried, Steve knew that, but already he could see how everyone was treating him differently. Eddie, as close as possible, like he could catch Steve if he collapsed again, and Nancy, who glanced back at him every so often to make sure he was still upright. Even Robin, not once making fun of him since it happened despite having had plenty of opportunities to do so.

“Stevie,” Eddie pressed, finally stopping completely so he could focus his attention on Steve. “We’re worried, that’s it.”

“I know, I know that,” Steve groaned, “I just...”

“What?”

“I don’t know, okay? I don’t know,” Steve let out, running a hand roughly through his hair. “If there’s something wrong with me, if everyone knows I could do that at any second...You don’t get it, Eds, you can’t.”

“Try me, big boy,” Eddie continued, no judgment in his eyes at all, “Before today, I wouldn’t have believed a lot of things. But evil wizards and portal dimensions kinda changed that.” Steve knew he could trust Eddie, and knew that he had been there for him in ways no one else had before. Still, he could feel panic clawing in his throat as he tried to get the words out. 

“In all this shit...I don’t know, protecting the kids? That’s always been my job, the one thing I was good at. If I can’t be trusted to do that then...what the hell am I here for?” Steve tried to get out, pointedly not looking at Eddie as he spoke.

“Hey, hey, who said anything about not trusting you?” Eddie instantly spoke, moving around so he could stand in front of Steve. He pressed in close, making it impossible for Steve to avoid looking at him. “Stevie.”

He couldn’t help the little smile that pulled on his lips, just having Eddie this close to him. So Steve looked up, his vision swallowed up by expressive brown eyes. 

“Stevie, you’re the damn kids’ hero. They won’t stop talking about you. It was almost getting annoying how much I had to hear about how great you are. I think you’re Dustin’s role model for life,” Eddie spoke.

“I’m not a role model,” Steve answered automatically, cheeks heating up at the thought that he’d really made such a good impression on them. He wanted to be a good support source for them, to help them get through all of these awful experiences they’d all had together. If he could make Dustin’s high school life a little better, if he could be the big brother he’d always wanted to be and the one Dustin had once said he’d dreamed of for years, then everything would be worth it.

“Please, you’d think Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington turned into the goddamn Mother Theresa,” Eddie teased, fingers brushing over the makeshift bandage wrapped around Steve’s middle. “This won’t change how anyone sees you. If anything, seeing you fight through this shit will make them look up to you more, they’ll be insufferable. We just want to help, Stevie, you shouldn’t be doing this all alone.”

And that, well.

“Whatever, Eds,” Steve scoffed, a soft smile clear on his lips as he pulled from Eddie’s grasp and started walking. “C’mon, the girls are getting ahead of us.”

“What, not even a thank you kiss?” Eddie called after him, pulling a startled laugh from Steve.

“Ask me after we’re back in the Rightside Up.”

Steve had almost forgotten about it, after.

After nearly losing Eddie—“What happened to not pulling any hero moves?”—and narrowly saving Max from Vecna, all Steve wanted to do was to sleep for about a week. The entire group gathered at his house, all feeling similarly that it would be much worse to spend this first night alone.

The first night was always the worst, after. When the shadows were still fresh, when he could still hear all the nightmarish sounds and feel the lingering fear of imminent death, the idea of being alone made Steve want to curl up and cry.

That was how he ended up on the floor of his living room piled on top of pillows and blankets while the Party and teens all spread out around the space. He ended up between Eddie and Robin, with his back pressed to Eddie’s front while one of his hands reached out to hold onto Robin’s arm in front of him like he was making sure she wouldn’t disappear in the middle of the night.

It was easy to fall asleep. It was much harder waking up.

It wasn’t a bad one by any means, as it seemed even his body was too exhausted to fully go through the motions. And yet Steve was still startled away by his body tensing, hands curled up painfully toward his chest as his legs twitched and kicked out at Eddie.

This time, though, he didn’t wake up alone. Instead, he came to on his side, with Eddie pressed up close to his back and nose pressed into Steve’s neck, whispering gentle words into his skin. Robin was holding him too, arms wrapped around him from the front and telling him that everything was going to be fine. They were quiet about it, voices barely over a whisper so they didn’t wake the entire group and prompt an explanation Steve was too tired to give.

But God, they were there. 

His heart ached in a way it hadn’t ever done before, the feeling swelling in his chest as he let himself be held by the love of his life and his best friend in the entire world. All at once, the past several months of pain rushed up on him, forcing a choked-out sob from Steve’s lips. The tears kept coming once one had been allowed, one hand curling tightly into Robin’s shirt while the other reached out to hold tightly to Eddie’s hand. So Steve cried, allowing himself to take comfort where he never had before. 

Steve wasn’t sure how long he cried, just that by the time the sounds eased into something resembling a whimper, he felt more exhausted than he had in ages. It was bone deep, running right through him like all of the tears had caused an outpouring of the last energy reserves Steve had been holding onto. Like, one hug from Eddie and Robin shocked him out of the adrenaline state he’d been living in since the first seizure.

“Thank you,” Steve whispered, voice watery with tears he didn’t have the energy to feel embarrassed about, “thank you.”

“That’s what we’re here for, dingus,” Robin answered, her own cheeks wet with tears.

“Go back to sleep, Stevie, we have you,” Eddie promised, pressing a kiss to Steve’s jaw as his hand started rubbing comforting circles into his hip. “You don’t have to deal with this alone anymore. We’re here.”

Maybe it wasn’t perfect. There would be more episodes, and more tears, and more tough conversations Steve wouldn’t always be ready for. But through it all, he’ll know he had this—people who cared about him, people who loved him.

That knowledge alone made everything feel like it would be okay again for the first time in months.

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Criminal Minds FanFiction Chapter 5

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: You are an FBI agent with a past and you were about to enter the BAU.

Trigger warning: BAU stuff like killing, snipping, suicide

You were awoken by the announcement in the hospital. You slowly open your eyes and saw a white ceiling. You tried to look around and saw Reid. He was reading a book. He also noticed that you were awake.

"Hi!" He said in a low high pitched voice. "How are you feeling?"

"Reid, can I have some water?" You said, your voice hoarse.

"Sure." Getting you a cap with straw. He then put the straw in your mouth and let you drink.

"Where are we?" You asked.

"We are still in Las Vegas." Reid said. "How do you feel right now?"

"My head feels heavy and my whole body was aching." You answered him. "How long am I asleep?"

"2 days. I will call the nurse just wait here," He said going out. 2 days. Wow!

Reid and the nurse arrived. She asked how you doing and then do some check up. Reid was on the door. He was calling someone. You figured its the team.

"All your vitals are fine. The Doctor will check on you later and will let you know when will you be discharge." The nurse said. After a few minutes the rest of the team arrived. JJ and Morgan holds some balloons while Rossi has some flowers and Hotch with some fruits. They were all glad that you make it. You smiled at them and say thank you as one by one they hugged you and telling you how happy they were that you are recovering well. They ordered pizza and have their lunch on your room. Reid and JJ helps you to eat since you cannot raise your right hand because of your broken rib. You cannot remember when was the last time you have this so many people by your side.

The doctor arrived and did the assessment. Based on your current xray, your ribs was still healing so she asked for you to stay for a couple more days before you fly back home.

"Alright, I think some of you can fly back home tonight if you'd like. Then those that can stay will fly back with us on sunday" Hotch said.

"I'll stay" Reid said.

"I need to check on the kids." JJ said

"I'll need to go to." Rossi said.

"If you need anything we will fly back as soon as we can." Morgan said.

"Thank you everyone. I am so luck to have you as my teammate."

"We are your family now [Y/N]. We will be here for you." Rossi said. It warms your heart being accepted like this. You were used to be alone but now there are people that can help you.

They were now preparing to leave when you called Hotch.

"Yes?" He asked.

"Hotch, I think you can come back to Virginia with them. Reid and I will be fine here." You told him

"Its fine, I will be finishing some paper works and ...."

"But Jack might be missing you. Its been almost a week" You interrupted him. He considered for a while and then Reid chime in.

"She right Hotch, we can handle this. You can comeback with the plane on sunday, if you'd like." Reid suggested.

"Fine, but you will update me all the time. Reid?" He said like it is an order.

"Yes, Sir!" Reid answered.

Hotch gathered his things then went on to your bed side and cap your left hand.

"Get well soon." He said. You smiled and about to say thank you but the unthinkable happened. He leaned and kiss your for head then he immediately stand up and walk out of the room without looking back. Both you and Reid was shocked. You look at Reid with a threatening look and told him to never to mentioned it to anyone. He just nod slowly still shocked with what he witnessed. The rest of the team flew back to virginia that night.

After 2 days you were discharged and was at the tarmac to board the plane. You were waiting for Hotch to come down and pick you up. Even Reid was waiting for Hotch. Instead it was Morgan who pick you up.

He went down on the plane, expecting a warm welcome but both of your face register a what are you doing here? Reaction.

"What? Are you not happy to see me?" Morgan asked.

"No, we just thought that Hotch would be here" Reid answered.

"Ahh, he has some problem with Jack's Homework thats why he asked me to pick you up." Morgan said. "So shall we?" He said. Taking over Reid to wheel you up. You can actually walk but Reid insisted on using the wheel chair. When you are at the stairs Morgan teases you.

"Should I carry you up the stairs my lady?" Morgan said. You laughed standing up.

"No, Sir, I can walk." You answered him. You walk up slowly while the 2 boys carry your stuff.

You arrived at Virginia after a few hours. Morgan and Reid drove you to your house. When you arrived Penelope and Rossi was also pulling on your driveway.

"How are you feeling" Rossi asked giving you a hug and a peck on the cheek

"I am better now." You said

"Ahh I hate the unsub for doing this to you" Penelope said enveloping you with a hug.

"I see that you have a motorcycle." Rossi exclaimed upon seeing your motorcycle in your garage.

"Another one of my hobby. I will give you a ride if you want." You offered. You open the door and let everyone in.

You open your refrigerator but there is nothing inside but water, beer and soda Morgan saw it and notice the panic on your face

"Dont worry, my baby girl already taken care of it. But let me get this beer." Morgan gets one of the beer. "Guys, what do you want. [Y/N] has beer, soda and water" Morgan announces.

"I'll have a beer." Penelope said. Morgan pick up another can.

"Me too" Reid shouted. Morgan pick one more.

"Do you have any wine ?" Rossi asked.

You smiled "Come here." You told him. But instead of just Rossi coming over, everyone followed him. There on the floor you pulled the rug and there was a small door. You opened in and a little wine cellar was crafted below.

Rossi was in awe. All of them was shocked. Rossi kneel and pulled one bottle.

"Bellissima!" He exclaimed. You open the cup board and get out some wine glass and offered it to everyone. Reid and Penelope give the can of beer back to morgan and each gets a glass. Morgan snorted. And put back the beer on the fridge. You give Rossi the wine opener and he opened the bottle. He pour wine to each of your glasses.

"To [Y/N]'s recovery, and to her expensive wine" you all laugh "We did not say it a lot but we want you to know that we are happy that you are part of this team. Cheers!"

"CHEERS!" Everyone shouted. You clink your glasses with everyone and drink the wine. Rossi was happy because it was one of his favorite. The take out also arrives so you all eat together while watching a game on TV. It was also a bank holiday tomorrow and as long as there is no urgent case you can all take the day off. After a few drinks, Penelope was alittle bit tipsy and she cannot stop and ask you about something that he noticed on your apartment.

"Hey [Y/N], I am just curious but who is that man?" She asked. She was pointing on one of the cabinet. You did not expect Penelope to catch it as you thought you have discreetly hide it inside.

"Oh, its a story for another day." You said not meeting her eyes.

"Come one tell us please! Please!" She beg you but you could not bring yourself to tell the story. Reid noticed it. If anyone knows about hiding something, it was Reid. He has the same look whenever someone asked about his mother so he tried to stop Penelope.

"I think we can have that story for another time when [Y/N] is ready" He said. Penelope pouted at him.

"Thats right baby girl. I also think that you have too much to drink. I should take you home." Morgan said. He stands pulling Penelope up with him.

"Maybe We should go as well. You need to rest." Rossi said.

"I'll help you tidy things up before I leave." Reid offer.

"No! You helped me too much. And I can handle it." You told him. "I cannot thank you all enough for taking care of me." You added. Rossi gave you a hug.

You heal up good, okay?" He said, then he kissed your cheeks. You smiled and mouthed thank you. Reid also hugs you.

"Call me if you need help." He said.

"I will see you tomorrow when I am sober and I will find out who is the mystery man!" Penelope said. All 3 of the boys shake there head laughing. Morgan waves good bye.

You see them out and wave good bye as they one by one pulled off your garage.

When they were gone you closed and lock the door. You went to the cabinet and take out the photo. You look at it for a while and speak

"I'm sorry but I still cannot talked about you. Not now." You whispered. You know that you have move on but every time the man on the picture was brought up an old wound was opening as well. You are still looking at the picture when someone knocked on your door. You put the picture back to the cabinet. And went to open the door. You were expecting it to be Reid but to your surprise it was Hotch!

"Hi!" He said. You're face cannot hide the shock and Hotch was taken aback "Oh is it not a good time?" He asked. He thought you have company because of the mess at the table.

"No, sorry, please come in" You make way for him to go inside. "Actually, everyone was here just a moment ago." You said while cleaning up with one hand. Hotch saw this.

"Let me do it" He said. Getting the empty box in your hand. You were about to protest but he widen his eyes as if a father who was about to reprimand you. "Just let me know where's the trash." He said smiling.

"At the lower left cabinet." You answered pointing at one of the cabinet. You look at him while cleaning the remaining boxes and paper plates on the table. Until he saw 2 empty bottle of wine. He raised it to show you.

"They demolish my wine cellar." You said laughing.

"This is expensive" He said. putting it on the trash

"I have a few" You said. he looked at you in disbelief. So you joined him at the kitchen.

"Move" You said smirking. He steps backward to give you room. You bent down, remove the rug and open the small trap door to show your little wine cellar. You look at his reaction. His mouth was wide open in shock

"Same expression as everyone else." You said still smirking. You got another bottle of the expensive wine. (Good thing, your previous visitor agrees to open a cheaper wine for the second bottle).

"What did Rossi said when he sees this" Hotch asked as you handed him the bottle.

"Bellissima!" You said with a chef kiss. Hotch laughed. You got the wine glass at the cupboard.

"Come on open it." You told him

"Are you sure?" He said.

"Of course!" Hotch pop open the wine and pour the wine on the glass. You handed him the wine.

"You are not drinking?" He asked you.

"Fine," You said, turning around to get another glass. "But just a little bit. I already have 2 glasses a while ago." You added. He pour you a little.

"Cheers!" He said. Clinking his glass to yours. You both took a sip.

"Wow! This is amazing!" He said examining his glass.

"Its one of my favorite." You said. Both of you went to the sofa. As you sit down you ask him about Jack

"I drop him off to his classmates. He is having a sleepover." He said.

"Thats great. Morgan said you were caught up with assignments" You told him

"Ahh yes. We were finishing his assignment before the sleepover so we dont have to do it tomorrow but its a diorama and it took us alot of time painting the small things." Hotch said laughing.

"I bet Jack was so pressured to finished." You said

"He is! Its already 3 in the afternoon and we are still covered in paint!" Hotch show his hands still have paint. You both laughed at it. You continue to talk and drink, well mostly Hotch does, you stop drinking after the 4th glass. You noticed that the bottle was empty.

"Hotch, do you want another bottle?" You asked.

"I am good and you can call me Aaron." He said. You can feel your cheeks burn but dismiss it as the wine.

"Sure, Aaron" You said and smile a bit. Aaron saw the blush on your cheek when you say his name and it makes him smile.

"What?" You asked. Inching a little closer examining his face, trying to profile why he is smiling

"Nothing." He said quietly, inching closer as well. You both stayed like that. Looking at each other, your face, a few inch closer. As you examine his smiling face, your cheeks started to burn again. Aaron noticed this and he just laugh releasing you from his gazed.

"What?" You asked him, giving him a light nudge on his shoulder.

"I think I should go." He said. "You should get some sleep."

"Are you sure? You finished the whole bottle." You asked.

"I'll be fine." He said.

"No, you might get arrested for DUI. Just stay here for a few hours to sober. You can stay on my bed and I'll stay here." You said standing up.

"Hey [Y/N]. I am fine! I will just sober up here on the sofa and you go sleep on your bed. Come on!" He stand up, hold your shoulder and push you lightly towards your room.

When you arrived on the room, you went to the cabinet to get some sheet and pillow and handed it to him. Then you went back to the sofa to set it up. Before going back to the your room you asked him again if he was okay there and he said yes and insist that you sleep. So you went to your room and lay down on your bed. Your eyes wide open. How can you sleep when you know that your boss was sleeping at your sofa.  

Note: This is one of my favorite chapter.

Pale Arc 10

So I gather that Pale has finished. In a way, this takes some timing pressure off of me: while I have not been liveblogging at a particularly speedy rate, I've been aware that more Pale kept being added faster than I was catching up. Now any time I read a chapter I'm actually catching up, as opposed to losing ground! I would love to say that I'll be picking up the pace from here on, but I said that last time and it was blatantly false, and also I think work will be busy for the next few weeks.

I've also been going back and archiving my liveblogs locally, just in case, which has reminded me how different my format was for the first arcs: I switched from end of chapter recaps to live reactions in early arc 4. No wonder I was going through chapters so quickly back then!

And I have a favor to ask if anyone wouldn't mind: I know there are stats floating around about Pale's length, but I'm worried about running into spoilers. Could someone let me know a) how many arcs there are b) what the total word count is and c) what the word count is as of where I am?

Housekeeping aside, thoughts on the arc:

Interesting structure, reminds me a bit of Worm's Sentinel arc

Really effective at building my knowledge of and engagement in the various new Kennet Others

Lots of reveals: Toadswallow's interlude blew my mind from a worldbuilding perspective, and Edith's unwrapped another layer of the mystery

Snowdrop and Avery! No thoughts, just feelings.

So now we know that Edith was for sure involved in the murder (which at this point was obvious, and has been pretty clear since the beginning). But then there's the immediate twist that she's not running it, or even seemingly part of the main group of this scheme. I do like this structure, where there's an obvious suspect from the beginning, it turns out to have been her, and it feels like a bit of a letdown, only for there to be another twist. I think a lot of mystery novels/tv shows do this probably? But on the scale of a single book/episode, not something as sprawling as Pale.

Actually, going back to those early arcs where I was doing a lot of theorizing, one of my guesses on how someone could arrange the Carmine Beast's death without having to reveal or lie about it was "There is an obvious killer, but they’re a fall guy acting on someone else’s behalf". Which it looks like it is! Edith is suspicious from the beginning, has no way around hiding her involvement while being honest and open, and the plan was probably for her to get caught from the start (I mean, maybe the real mastermind(s) didn't think the girls would get this far, but it does feel like Edith was expendable).

But now we're back to trying to figure out members of this conspiracy, knowing that Maricica is involved. There are three basic options for conspirators: 1) original Kennet Others 2) new Kennet Others (hid their involvement from the start and used recruitment to come in) and 3) people outside of Kennet.

I can't think of anyone outside of Kennet we've met who makes sense for that, so that idea might come down to "new character", which seems unsatisfying, so I'm going to skip theorizing about it.

Characters I don't think are involved: Tashlit, John, Alpeana, Toadswallow, Nibble and Chloe, Crooked Rook, Miss, Guilherme. We've seen inside almost all their heads, Edith and Maricica seem opposed to them in private conversation. Putting a caveat on Guilherme because Faerie.

Matthew could go either way, he's been involved with Edith's hostility but clearly doesn't know everything.

Charles is suspicious to me based on vibes and ability to lie, Bluntmunch seems to not be trusted by Toadswallow, Cig is working with Edith but it seems like a recent arrangement, Montague is very convenient to the conspirators but seems friendly, no idea about Lis, Ken, Jabber, or the new goblins.

deep end || snily au

“Do I have to?”

Lily groaned, standing in front of her full-length mirror, adjusting her jeans. She glanced back over her shoulder, “Do I look like I’ll like their music?”

“Don’t even do that, Lil. We all know that you’re into that shit. You’re holding back on us. I’m just there for a good time. I can’t not show. Cissy’s been bragging on Lucius and this fucking band for weeks. They’re going to make it big, she’s certain of it.”

They both giggled, before she moved to pick up her drink, taking a swig from the can. “Okay.” She smirked playfully, before moving to sit down next to Mar on her bed. She swiped up on her phone, raising it up in the air, taking a picture of them both. It had been a while since she’d actually been able to go out with Marlene like this. They were both going to different colleges, and she’d missed her so desperately. It had been a hard adjustment to make, even though she truly was having the best time of her life. “Is Doe meeting us there?”

The blonde nodded, before moving to stand up. “Come on, we had better go. Are you okay to drive?” She nodded, handing the can over to Marlene, before moving to grab her keys. They headed out of her room and downstairs, her Mom glanced up from her book as they walked past the dining room.

“Be careful, girls.”

“We will be.” Lily called out, winking at Mar as they headed out of the house, before walking over to her car. Her beloved bright yellow Beetle. As they climbed into the car, she plugged in her phone, groaning at the incoming messages. She threw her phone down into one of the cup holders, sighing as Mar moved to pick it up, scrolling down the notifications.

“I hate him. The cheating fuck. Let me reply to him.”

“Oh, I think that you’ve done more than enough of that already, Mar.” She widened her eyes, turning to look at her friend as she backed out of the driveway. That was an understatement. Marlene had torn him apart limb from limb. She put her foot down, turning up the music as she drove down the street. Quite frankly, she didn’t want to think about James right then. He was the very last idiot on her mind. 

//

“It’s... busy.”

She glanced over at Mar as they climbed out of the car. She’d just about managed to squeeze into a spot on the street outside the small venue. 

“Ladies!” 

They both immediately looked over at Doe, who was waving at them from the entrance, swerving the people moving inside around her. She hugged them both, before they all moved to walk inside, showing their tickets on their phones as they made their way up some steps. It really was a small, very local venue. However, the place was packed. Did they all know something she didn’t? She didn’t even what the fucking band were called. All that she knew was that she had to be there. She made a beeline for the bar, buying a cherry coke before making her way back over to the girls. They were lingering towards the back, but she could sense that Mar wanted to move forward. 

“Come on then. We might as well get in on the action,” she laughed, holding onto her hand as they weaved their way through people; many people she recognised. There were a lot of their former classmates there, and she was stopped a few times. 

This wasn’t her usual spot though. If James could see her now, he’d be livid. Although, he was always fucking angry at her about something. She had learned more than a few lessons since starting college thus far; one of them being, never follow a shitty boy to college. She was just incredibly lucky that it was a good college, and that she didn’t feel the need to transfer and start over. 

She glanced up toward the stage, before taking a sip of her drink, turning and making eye contact with the girl next to her; who fully looked her up and down. What the hell was that about? She rolled her eyes, before moving to look down at her phone, scrolling through the likes on the picture that she’d put up of her and Mar. She had some serious followers. It was hard keeping up with it all, and had never really been what she’d intended. However, it was definitely something that she was good at. 

Lifelong: 20 years

summary: an impromptu trip across the country to take care of aaron.

pairing: fem!reader x aaron hotchner

content: unrequited love, guilt, angst, sadness, fluff if you squint kind of?

an: aaron is soooo baby in this one. okay my friends we’re close to the end here, hearts will be mended soon. next part is massive <3

word count: 1k

series masterlist | masterlist

When Aaron calls you for the second time this week you know that’s something’s up. The two of you have a weekly call that’s already been had and you’re still at work. In fact, he’s still at work.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’ve been served.”

“Divorce papers?” You can’t say you’re not shocked.

You know that they’ve been separated, you know that Haley’s wanted more but you always imagined that they’d work it out. They’ve been Aaron and Haley to you for so long that you’re not sure what a world looks like without them together, though your mind goes to selfish places immediately.

“Yeah.”

“Aaron, I’m so sorry. What do you need? What can I do?”

“I…” You hear shuffling on his end of the phone and can imagine him running a hand through his hair, “I don't know.”

“That’s okay. It’s okay to not know,” You have to say it because he’s not okay with that. He likes to know things, feels like he has to but you want him to just stop thinking about fixing everything for a moment. “Do you have any idea when the next case is?”

“I don’t know, we just got back from one.”

“Put in the time,” You say, switching tabs on your computer to look up a last-minute flight. It wouldn’t get you there until after midnight because of the time difference in Seattle, but it’ll do.

“It’s too late for-“

“You’re the boss. Put in the time.”

“I couldn’t ask you to waste your yearly visit on this.”

“You didn’t ask, it’s not a waste, and you’re my best friend.”

“Are you sure?”

“You just have to tell me how many days you’re putting in for so I can do the same.”

“3.”

It takes just a few clicks of a button to get your trip set up. You send an email to your boss citing a family emergency, “The flight’s booked, you’ll pick me up?”

“I’ll be there.”

He meant that in the most literal sense. When you arrive he's standing at the gate, looking down at his phone with that slight frown that's become his face’s resting place.

“You didn’t have to do your FBI privilege thingy,” You say as he embraces you tightly.

“I didn’t want you walking through here this late by yourself,” He murmurs before letting you go.

“There’s hardly anybody here,” You reply, gesturing around to the quiet airport.

“My point exactly,” He holds his hand out for your bag. There's no reason to argue with him and you hand it over with no protest. He transfers it smoothly to his far hand before offering his arm to you. Again, with no protest, you slip your arm into his and the two of you walk to his car that’s parked with airport staff.

“You know they built one of those burger joints from home here,” He says once the two of you are off the airport’s grounds.

“Fries do sound good. Have you been since they opened?”

“No, I was saving it for when you came into town.”

“Then take me, Hotchner.”

He reaches over to pinch your thigh playfully, “You don’t call me that.”

“I was trying to get a rise out of you. It worked. Predictable as always Aaron Hotchner.”

He rolls his eyes, and fiddles with the radio, turning on the oldies station you always listen to. It’s warm in Virginia still so you let down the window, and stick your feet out, resting your head on his shoulder while he orders the food. When you try to stick your hand in the bag he swats it away, and you pout the whole way home.

You feel 17 again eating burgers and greasy french fries on his couch. You talk about everything but Haley and the divorce. He’s somehow managed to give you every detail about his visits with Jack without even mentioning her name. All you can do is hold him close when his voice gets thick with tears. He doesn’t let them fall, but he gets to a point where he has to stop talking. He clings to you, listening to the sound of your breathing until he slips into a slumber.

His soft snore makes you smile and for a moment you let yourself bask in it. You let yourself imagine waking up to it, to this, him lying on your chest with his arms wrapped around you every day. The guilt comes quickly. Haley has always been kind to you, and always supported your friendship with him. Though you love Aaron with all of you, you can’t blame her for leaving him. Regardless, you’ll always be here to pick up the pieces because he’s yours, just not in the way you long for.

Eventually, you try to move to get cleaned up but his grip on you tightens, even in his sleep.

“Aaron,”

“Don’t, please, let’s just stay here,” He mumbles sleepily, his eyes barely opening.

“I just wanna clean up and then we can go lay down,” You pull away again and he looks up at you again with wide eyes. That sadness that you hadn’t seen since his wedding day is there and it makes your heartbreak. “Just let me throw this in the trash, stay right there, I’m not going anywhere.”

He nods and releases you, and you get your trash cleaned up and in the bin in record timing. He uses his bathroom to get dressed for bed, and you use Jack’s before heading into his room to lay down. He joins you shortly, facing away from you. You scooch across the bed, pressing into his back before throwing your arm over his side. Thinking he’s about to fall back to sleep, you close your eyes in an attempt to join him, though every cell in your body is standing at alert from being so affectionate with him.

“Do you think it was always meant to end like this? That I wasn’t made to be happy?” His voice startles you and he runs his hand over yours in apology.

“Hush, you’ll be happy again. You’ll be okay. We’ll make sure of it.”

“Promise?”

“Of course.”

“You’re always here. Thank you,” He leans further into you, and you curl your chin around his shoulder as he knots your fingers together.

“Always, Aaron.”

if you’d like to be tagged in this series let me know!

tagged: @ssahotchsbitch, @shyhotch, @chelseyjoyce, @dadbodhotch11, @ssamorganhotchner, @kuolonsyoja, @heliotropehotch, @averyhotchner, @zetasaturno99, @art-and-thoughts, @laurensprentiss, @ssa-montgomery, @thinking-bucky, @silvermercy, @freesiasandfics, @ashhotchner, @fightingdragonswithreid, @moonshine-evelyn, @emlynblack, @ssahotchnerxx, @sunshinexhotchner, @angelfxllcm, @wheelsupkels, @jaspxr, @gspenc, @sadgirlml, @hotchs-bitch, @crowfootwrites, @wilbur-rabbit, @hotched, @aaronhotchy, @mommyhotchner, @reidselle

series tagged: @lesbianhotch, @rousethemouse, @ssaddyhotchner, @skyler666, @katieslotherford, @kryptonitejelly, @eternal-silvertongued-prince, @red-red-rogue, @kajjaka, @dielgonacoffee

By the Sea (Marcel Galliard x Reader)

Word count: 2 620

Disclaimer: english is not my first language, I apologize in advance for any mistakes

A/N: My anxiety is through the roof since yesterday and I really needed to distract myself somehow. So here... have some nice Marcel fluff for a better day and take care ❤️

Summary: Sometimes all you need is a picture-perfect day at the beach. Clear blue skies, a good book, and the company of your beloved boyfriend, the one and only Marcel Galliard.

By the Sea

A light breeze kissed your cheeks and woke you up from an unexpected nap. With eyes still heavy with sleep, you blinked a few times trying to make out your surroundings. You were at the beach, of course – laying on your favorite blanket, your tote bag comfortably folded under your head, and a nearly empty picnic basket just a few feet away. Marcel got the idea of taking a short drive to the nearest beach out of nowhere, and you weren′t objecting. It was way too long since the two of you spent the day like this. Somewhere nice and just relaxing. Not thinking about work, school, or any other responsibility.

„You okay?“ Marcel asked while you were still sleepily looking up at the bright blue sky. Only a handful of puffy white clouds were seen scattered around randomly. You could hear seagulls somewhere in the distance, while the slowly coming and going sea waves were creating one of your favorite sounds ever. The weather was absolutely perfect, warm and sunny, with only a slight breeze that made the heat more bearable.

„Yeah, just... how long was I asleep?“ you asked, only then noticing that your still open book way laying on your chest.

Reading was your favorite form of escaping reality. Especially, when you picked up a book you′ve read in the past and loved dearly. Just like this morning, when you decided to start Howl′s Moving Castle for like a fifth time. But it was your first time reading the special edition Marcel got you last Christmas. He knew how much you loved the story, and despite you already owning the whole trilogy, he didn′t hesitate even for a second, when he saw this edition at the bookstore while searching for a perfect gift for you – his beloved girlfriend. He knew you would love it. And he was right, just like always, when it came to your favorite things.

„Not too long, maybe thirty minutes. Didn′t want to wake you up, you really need to rest after the last few months.“ You smiled, closed your book, and rolled over to your side so you could be closer to Marcel. He immediately put his phone down, where he was looking for some summer vacation options, and turned his attention to you. „What do you think about Venice, Bologna, Rome, Florence, or Palermo? Would you like to go there?“

„You wanna go to Italy?“

He shrugged. „Maybe, it looks amazing there. The scenery, all that architecture, and apparently brilliant food. We could go road-tripping around the country if you′d like. So we can see as many places as we want.“

It really did sound appealing. Spending a week or two together, exploring a new country none of you visited before. Marcel had seen many places around the world before the two of you started dating and was more than happy when there was a chance to travel somewhere. Especially with you as his most precious and loving travel buddy. He also loved showing you photos and videos of all the places he visited, while promising to one day go back there with you. Especially to the locations that caught your eyes the most. Places like Iceland, Switzerland, Greece, Ireland, Canada or Hawaii.

„Do we have enough money for something like that? I mean... I would like to go, it sounds absolutely amazing, but I′m not sure we can afford it this summer. We just moved to the new apartment, I have to pay for my car and...“ You loved when Marcel shut you up with a gentle but passionate kiss. Mostly in moments like these, when your need to overanalyze every little detail started to ruin the magic of the present moment.

„What did we agree on before coming here? No overthinking, overanalyzing, or worrying about anything,“ Marcel said, his lips still just mere inches from your mouth. With another smile he kissed the tip of your nose, pulling you into a tight hug. „It′s not like we have to pay for everything right now at this moment. We have time to think it through. It was just a suggestion.“

„I know, sorry,“ you said, burying your face into his chest.

He spent a lot of time at work these last few weeks. And with you trying to balance university and a part-time job, there were days when the two of you hardly saw each other. Mostly just early in the morning or in the evening, when it was finally time to sleep. You missed him terribly every single day and knew, he missed you too. Texting each other throughout the day just wasn't the same.

„It′s fine, don't apologize,“ he whispered, planting a kiss on the top of your head. „I was thinking that maybe we could go as a little group. You know... us two, and Porco with Pieck. If you don't mind, of course.“

„Why would I? Your brother is always good company and Pieck is my best friend since kindergarten. I′m happy to spend time with her.“ Not to mention that it was thanks to you, that she and Marcel′s baby brother, as he liked to address Porco to make him mad, started dating in the first place. „And speaking of couples... did you hear about Annie and Bert? She sent me a picture this morning when you were in the shower... and then I somehow forgot to tell you.“

„I heard, of course. He called me and Reiner with him when he went to buy the engagement ring. Said he picked out a few different options but wasn′t sure which one to get, so he needed someone else′s opinion.“

„Why didn't you tell me?“ you asked surprised, pulling away slightly to look at him. Gosh, he was so effortlessly beautiful, when the light breeze was playing with strands of his hair. The way the sunlight made his eyes look like dark pools of honey always took your breath away. „How long did you know that he′s going to propose to her?“

„Why? Because you and Annie are together all the time and I didn′t want to risk you accidentally telling her.“ You rolled your eyes at him. Marcel laughed, lovingly tugging a few strands of hair behind your ear. The tips of his fingers brushed against your cheek just a moment before he pressed his lips to the exact same spot. „Do you like the ring we picked out?“

You nodded excitedly, remembering the photo Annie sent you this morning. „It′s really beautiful. Simple and elegant, it matches Annie and her style perfectly. Bert really knows what suits her the best.“ The two of them were dating since high school, so it was only natural, that they knew each other more than perfectly.

And it was thanks to them, you got to know Marcel. Since Pieck, Annie, and you were classmates in high school, you knew Bertholdt for a pretty long time as well. But it was just shortly before graduation, that he introduced you to his neighbor and one of his best friends – Marcel Galliard. For you, it was love at first sight. Just like in all of those books and movies you′ve read and seen. And now, almost five years later, you couldn′t be happier. With Marcel by your side, you had absolutely everything in the whole wide world.

„Would you like a similar one?“ Marcel asked suddenly, visibly enjoying the panic that made your cheeks turn red.

„What... what do... what do you mean?“ you stuttered, burying your face into his chest once again while laughing nervously. „I hate how you always make me flustered when I expect it the least,“ you mumbled into his shirt, while Marcel laughed at your reaction wholeheartedly.

„It was just an innocent question, nothing more. It′s not like I′m gonna kneel before you and pop out a ring from my pocket. But if you′d like that...“

Even more shocked, you once again looked into his face, finding a cheeky grin on his lips. His eyes were so visibly filled with happiness and love. It almost made your heart burst from the realization that it′s because of you.

It was you, who made him this happy.

You and only you.

„Are you trying to tell me that you bought me an engagement ring as well?“ Marcel shrugged, rolling over to his back with you still in his embrace. He made himself more comfortable, one hand running up and down your back, while you rested on his broad chest.

„Maybe I saw one that I really liked. Just maybe...“

With a quiet laugh, you kissed the warm skin on his neck, closing your eyes for a short while. Was this really happening? At that moment... was that really your life? Suddenly everything seemed so easy and beautiful. So simple and calm. When the two of you were joking around like that, you truly had hope for the future. In everything that was about to come your way. With Marcel by your side, it was truly effortless to imagine the rest of your life. All you saw was never-ending happiness. Not necessarily without a few hard or unpleasant days, they were a part of everyone's life, but still... with him, even the darkest moments would pass much quicker.

„Marcel...“

„What? I′m just planning ahead a little. Can you blame me?“ Looking down at you, his eyes studied your face for a short while. The perfect quiet moment between the two of you was only disturbed by the calming sounds of the sea. „I love you so much,“ he finally said, grabbing your chin gently and bringing your face closer for a little kiss. His lips always tasted like the sweetest flavors of love one could imagine.

„I love you too,“ you said, kissing him once more and running your hand through his hair. It was so thick and soft, you just loved to play with it at every given chance. Mostly in bed, when the two of you were cuddled up next to each other.

Marcel loved to fall asleep while you were playing with his hair and reading to him at the same time. Listening to your voice, as you read him a few pages from your current read always helped him relax, even after the most stressful day. Because when he was there, curled up in your arms and listening to your every word very carefully, he felt safe and loved. And you? You were so grateful for the boy slowly falling asleep right there next to you, that sometimes tears started to pool in your eyes, while your lips were smiling and your whole chest was full of the warmest and nicest feelings possible.

„Coming here was a good idea, we should do it more often. All the problems seem miles away when the sea is at hands reach.“

„I collected some seashells while you were sleeping. A couple of kids ran by, ranting about how many they found over there by those big rocks, so I went to check it out.“ Without you asking to see them, Marcel reached over to the picnic basket and pulled out the now-empty container, that had your favorite fruit salad inside before. Now it was filled with colorful seashells of various shapes and sizes. „You always loved putting them on display at home. And I owe you a few new ones for those I accidentally destroyed last time.“

It was a funny story, actually. Marcel had a few days off, so he decided to help you out with some work around the new apartment. Cleaning was never his favorite activity to pass time, even though you tried to convince him, that moping the floor, doing laundry, or washing the dishes made him look absolutely irresistible. After all... it wasn′t a complete lie.

On that unfortunate day, Marcel was trying to be nice and clean the apartment before you got home from school. What he wasn't planning on doing, was knocking down one of your favorite display bowls from your bookshelf, which was filled with many different seashells the two of you found during your trips to the beach. The bowl was shattered beyond repair and many of the seashells as well, especially the more fragile ones.

It made you upset at first, but seeing how sorry Marcel was... You didn′t have the heart to stay mad at him for long. One delicious home-cooked dinner was enough to make you forgive him. It was no secret, that Marcel knew his way around the kitchen. Your friends loved coming over for lunch or dinner when he was the one cooking or baking. His chocolate-chip banana bread was to die for, not to mention the best poppy seed and lemon muffins under the sun.  

„They are adorable,“ you said, while looking through the seashells Marcel picked up. „Just try not to break them this time.“ Leaning closer, you kissed his cheek, resting your forehead against his. „Thank you.“

There was nowhere to hurry. Not today. The two of you could stay for as long, as you like. So you suggested waiting until sunset, even though it was many hours away. But Marcel didn't mind. Not when you picked up your book once again and started reading out loud. He liked Howl and Sophie′s story as well, his favorite character being the Fire demon Calcifer himself.

While you were reading, he was sorting through the seashells, admiring them one by one, and ultimately used some of them to decorate a cute little sand castle he put together at the edge of the blanket. He said it was his own version of Howl′s castle from the story.

The rest of the day was spent simply relaxing, fooling around in the pleasantly cool water, and taking some photos. You loved to capture simple moments like these, just to have the option to look back at them, when you needed it the most.

„About that engagement ring...“ Marcel said unexpectedly with his head in your lap, while the sky high above you seemed like it was on fire. Rich orange and golden hues transformed the beach around you into a scenery that seemed straight out of a fantasy novel. „Would you like something simple like Annie, or something more extra?“

„You know my style, so I think you′re perfectly capable of choosing the right one.“ To be honest, you never thought about how your engagement ring should look like. After all, it wasn′t up to you. „I don't like showing off.“

„It′s not about showing off. More about...“ He thought for a second, his hands playing with your fingers. „I don′t know, I just want to be sure, that everything is going to be perfect. I want you to remember that moment forever.“

„It′s going to be perfect because it will be you, with who I′ll share the moment,“ you assured him, leaning down and gently kissing his lips. „I can′t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Marcel.“ The tips of your fingers were tracing along his jaw and chin.

„We′ll make the best of it. I can assure you.“

Little did you know, that on that day the two of you visited the beach as boyfriend and girlfriend for the very last time. All that talk about engagement rings wasn′t just to fill in the quiet moments. Marcel really did buy a ring you absolutely adored from the second you saw it, when he knelt in front of you with love and hope in his beautiful brown eyes.

So the next time you visited your favorite beach, you went there as Marcel′s fiancee and future Mrs. Galliard.

The Atoms of Us (An Infinity Particle Fanfic)

Summary: Three days after the showdown with Dr. Lin, Clem and Kye are figuring out what the future holds for both of them. Whatever it holds, they'll be facing it together.

Rating: K

Also posted on AO3 and FFN

Author's Note: I just read The Infinity Particle about a week ago and fell in love. I was heartbroken that there was no fanfiction for this beautiful book, so I knew I had to rectify it by writing my own. I hope this is the first of many to follow by others who discover Wendy Xu's lovely story.

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"Hey girl, later." Nadiya turned and waved on her way out the door, Cheshire clutched in her arms. The robot cat scowled and shoved a final piece of cardboard packaging into his mouth as the door shut.

Clementine did one last sweep of the shop, straightening tools, neatly stacking silicate discs, and putting away jars of nanomachine paint in the overnight cabinet. When she finished, the workshop was still cluttered, but there was something comforting about it all the same. Everything to help each robot who came here become whole and return to their human companion healthy again. Clem did one last check then swiped her wristband to clock out. Grabbing her satchel, she took off down University Street towards home, SENA riding on her shoulder as usual.

They caught the cable car heading upwards towards the residence sector. Clem leaned against the window, looking out at the reddish-brown rooftops as the car carried them upwards through Tithonium. Distractedly, she reached into her pocket then adjusted her satchel. A few seconds later she ran her fingers through her messy strawberry red hair and adjusted her satchel again.

"Nervous?" SENA chirped in her sweet little voice.

Clem immediately dropped her hands. "No," she said a little too quickly.

SENA fluttered down to land in Clem's lap. She folded her stubby arms. "You never fidget like that unless you're nervous."

Clem sighed as she caught herself trying to adjust her satchel yet again. "OK, yeah. I'm nervous. A little bit."

SENA blinked. "Why?"

Clem rubbed a hand through her hair, tangling it even further. "I dunno."

"Kye's been living with us for the past three days," SENA pointed out. "You exist around him just fine at our apartment. Why would it be any different to exist around him in a different location?

Robot logic. Impossible to argue with. Clem shook her head. "I dunno, it's just different. You wouldn't understand."

SENA fluttered her brown- and white-spotted wings. "It's not my fault you didn't program it into me then."

Clem booped her little build on the nose. "I don't remember programming that sort of sass into you either."

SENA sniffed. "I've had no problem picking that up from you, Nadiya, and Mykael on my own, thank you. Robots learn, remember?"

How could she forget? Robots had been her life since she was little. But even that couldn't have prepared her for all the events that had unfolded in the last week and a half since she'd arrived on Mars. Distracted, she went back to staring out the window. But now, instead of rooftops, she saw dark, soulful eyes gazing tenderly back at her…

"Clem? Clem!" SENA fluttered her wings in Clem's face. "It's our stop."

"Right!" Clem grabbed her satchel and stepped out onto the station platform, then jogged up the flights of stairs leading to her apartment.

Kye was in the kitchenette, trimming dead fronds off one of his beloved plants when Clem and SENA opened the door. As they entered, he lowered his sheers, a little smile brightening his face. He met Clem's eyes and she blushed. "Hey," he said gently.

"Hey," she responded. She gestured awkwardly upwards. "Um, just let me get changed and I'll be ready."

She darted up the stairs to her bedroom loft, where she tossed aside her dusty and oil-stained trousers and changed into a billowy pair of pants and a loose, comfy shirt. She hurriedly ran a comb through her hair, trying to tame the wild tangles, then took a deep breath, facing the wall. Slowly she turned and descended the stairs.

Kye was kneeling in front of their table, a Welcome to Tithonium pamphlet and map laid out in front of him. He was wearing an ankle-length, soft blue robe tied at his waist with his brown jacket over the top and his long hair pulled back in its usual ponytail. Clem plopped onto her cushion across from him. "Made a decision yet?"

Kye frowned thoughtfully. "There are more choices than I realized. Do you have a suggestion?"

Clem scooted the map over to her side. "Let's see. Nadiya mentioned that Masala Corner is really good. Hmm, Valles Café, that's down by the University, right? Oo, Mars Casa. Ever had Mexican before, Kye? …Kye?"

The android seemed to shrink in upon himself, his smile faltering, his shoulders dropping. Even his beautiful hair seemed to wilt. "Maybe…maybe not that one," he said quietly, and Clem would have almost sworn he sounded apologetic.

He looked up to find Clem looking at him with concern. He smiled a little, his dark eyes soft. "I'm okay," he answered her silent question. "It's just…" He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Mother took me there, years ago. I hadn't been activated very long. She ordered a plate of arroz rojo, and I was so fascinated that I asked if I could order something too." He glanced away, down at the table. "She scolded me – yelled at me really – told me I was selfish to make other people work to fix food and clean up after me for something that I couldn't even enjoy." He shrugged, a sad, defeated gesture. "I never asked Mother for food again after that."

Clem reached across the table and gently laid her hand on the back of his. The round sensor panels on the back of his knuckles were smooth and slightly cooler than his skin. "You're not selfish," she said with conviction. "You're allowed to want things, just like any human."

He looked up at her, soft gratitude and fondness on his face. "You make it easier for me to remember that, Clem."

She blushed and glanced down, letting her hair fall in her face to hide the glow of her cheeks. "Just being a decent person isn't something to be proud of."

He turned his hand over, so he could twine his fingers with hers. "No, but I'm still grateful all the same." He reached up and ran the fingers of his free hand through her curls, smiling affectionately. "You know what I want right now?"

Clem flushed deeper, enjoying the feel of his delicate fingertips brushing her cheek. "What?"

He grinned. "For us to have an amazing first date!"

She giggled. "That sounds like an amazing thing to want."

He squeezed her hand. "Then let's both stop overthinking it and choose the first place that sounds nice."

They returned their attention to the map and almost immediately Clem pointed excitedly. "There! Don't you think that would be perfect?"

Kye looked at where she was pointing. "Arbor Bistro," he read.

"It's right by the park. I bet it's got a lovely view of the walkway." Clem paused. "Unless you have any negative experiences with it…"

Kye grasped her hand again, this time more firmly. "No. No, it sounds perfect."

Clem tried not to grin like an idiot and wasn't entirely successful. So this was it! Her first date with Kye. And Kye's first real meal after finally being able to smell and taste!

They headed to the door. "SENA?" Clem called out. "You coming?"

The little moth robot fluttered down to hover between the two of them. "I'm going to have a night in. I think this outing needs to be just you and Kye."

Clem felt a moment of something almost like panic. SENA was always with her. The thought of not having those comforting little feet clinging to her shoulder or the brush of velvety wings against the back of her neck made her feel uncomfortably vulnerable.

SENA must have sensed Clem's discomfort, which wasn't surprising since that was part of her core programming. She landed on Clem's hand. "I'll be here when you get back. And I think you'll still have a perfectly good robot to keep an eye on you."

She made a tiny face. "Plus I won't have to look away every time you and Kye make kissy faces at each other."

Kye gently put an arm around her shoulders. "She's right, Clem. You're not alone anymore. Neither of us are."

Clem put her arm around Kye's waist and leaned into him a little. "I know." She smiled at SENA. "Looks like the apartment's yours for the evening."

SENA made a little humming sound. "Enjoy your evening out together."

Clem and Kye headed out onto the narrow street between the rows of apartments. Clem's building was about halfway up the canyon wall, affording a lovely view of Tithonium spread out beneath them. Above them, the biodome glowed a faint blue, contrasting against the dusty red all around them.

They linked hands as they made their way to the cable car and descended. As usual, Kye got some curious looks from the other passengers in the car, and one woman holding a cute rabbit-like bot in her arms asked Clem if he was her build. Clem just shook her head. "No, he belongs to himself," she answered firmly. Kye wasn't looking at her, but she saw the corner of his lips twitch upward anyway.

The rest of the trip to Arbor Bistro was uneventful, at least in conventional terms, but inside Clem was just about bursting with excitement. The whirlwind of events over the last several weeks had been adrenaline-inducing, but it had also left her with the distinct disappointment of just how little time she'd been able to spend simply getting to know Kye, without the pressure of solving the mystery of his glitch in the forefront of both their minds. Now, with his glitch fixed and his living situation vastly improved, Clem was beyond eager to get to know the cute, sweet android for whom she'd fallen so hard.

As it turned out, Clem couldn't have imagined a better location than Arbor Bistro for their first date. The moment both of them walked in, Kye made a soft sound and Clem looked up at him to find him gazing about in gentle awe.

The walls were painted with large murals of Earth's forests: tall trees with glimpses of mountains beyond and woodland animals peering at them from under the tree shade. Several live potted plants that Clem was sure Kye would know all the names of were placed tastefully around the cozy restaurant. Windows lined one side of the room, affording a beautiful view out into Valles Park, and soft piano music played in the background. The atmosphere was peaceful and welcoming.

Clem and Kye seated themselves at a booth by a window where they could look out at the street and the tree-lined park walkway. An interactive hologram menu in the middle of the table glowed red as they sat down. They swiped through the menu, chatting occasionally about the options, then Clem tapped the order button when they were both ready.

A robot waiter rolled up to their table to take their orders. She was humanoid, though not like Kye of course, with a large round head, a flat panel face with large digital eyes, and wheels instead of feet. "Hello, my name is Veronica," she said in a tinny voice. "What would you like to order today?" she addressed Clem.

"I'll take the soup salad sandwich combo, Veronica," Clem replied. "I'll try the broccoli cheese soup, the house salad, and the swiss roast beef panini. And just water to drink, thank you."

"Very good." Veronica's digital eyes blinked in and out several times as she downloaded the order file. "That will be ready for you in a few minutes."

"Excuse me." Kye sounded nervous. "I'd like to get something too."

If Veronica was surprised (if surprise was even part of her programming), she didn't show it. She pivoted to face him. "Yes, sir, what would you like?"

Her nonjudgmental response seemed to embolden Kye. He sat up a little straighter. "Um, I'll take the combo too. Tomato soup, house salad, and grilled cheese sandwich, please. And I'll try a lemonade."

Veronica rolled off with their orders, leaving Clem and Kye alone at their table again. For some reason, all Clem's bursting energy had transformed back into nerves again. They met each other's eyes and quickly looked away, Clem staring down at the table and Kye scratching the back of his neck shyly.

"So…how was your day at the shop?" Kye finally asked.

Clem fiddled with a napkin. "Nothing out of the ordinary. Quite a few pick-ups and there was one sweet little bird robot with a broken voice simulator. We had to replace the simulator unit, but once we brought her back online she was singing just like new." She didn't mention the little girl who had brought her in, crying that her companion was "hurt" and who had insisted on staying during the entire replacement procedure. They technically had a drop-off only policy, but Nadiya had taken one look at Clem's face and had gently scooped the bird out of the crying girl's hands, reassuring her that they'd have her friend fixed in no time. Once, not long ago, Clem had dreamed of going into artificial intelligence studies to be like Dr. Lin: a pioneer and cutting-edge scientist. But now, more so than ever, Clem was realizing that it was moments like these that made her career matter. Not the grand moments, but the little ones that made all the difference to the right person.

She looked up to find Kye watching her with compassion in his deep, dark eyes, as if he had guessed some of what she was thinking. At the very least, she suspected that his empathetic programming allowed him to perceive her mood. "How about you?" she asked. "How did your visit with Dr. Han go?"

Kye's expression turned pensive. "She ran a comprehensive diagnostic of all my systems. She seemed pleased with the results."

"Were you pleased with the results?"

Kye's smile was melancholy. "I'm grateful to no longer be glitching and to have my systems functioning perfectly again. But there was no longer any trace of whatever part of my code showed itself to me as the child. The child who was a part of me ever since my first codes were written. In a way, I feel even lonelier now."

"Did you have Dr. Han look at your encryptions?" Clem asked. Kye nodded. "Yes. It's extensive, but Dr. Han believes with enough time that she can bypass the encryptions and allow me to interface with my fellow AI."

"Is that what you want?"

Kye gently stroked his fingertips back and forth over the smooth table surface. "I'm not sure. I've been alone for so long that I'm confused about what my life should look like now. But I think I'd like to have the option."

He continued to stare downward. The faint lines of circuitry just underneath the skin of his cheeks glowed with blue lights racing back and forth, the way they always did when he was processing or experiencing a particularly strong emotion.

Clem reached across the table and laid her fingertips next to his. "Are you doing okay?"

He was silent for a moment. "I miss her. A lot. I guess that's pretty weird, huh?"

In Clem's mind, she saw herself sitting in the seat for her interplanetary flight, her ticket to Mars clutched tight in white-knuckled fingers, her face turned to the window as tears streamed silently down her cheeks. She hooked her fingers around Kye's. "No, it's not weird," she said softly. "I get it."

Kye looked up at her, his eyes locking to hers, and his beautiful face was softer than anything else she could imagine at the moment. His eyes were as dark and deep as outer space.

At that moment, Veronica wheeled over with their food, and Kye's attention turned down to the plate and bowl in front of him. His eyes went wide and he took in a deep breath. "Clem!" he exclaimed. "It smells…so nice!"

"As nice as my hair?" Clem teased.

Kye however seemed to consider her question. "There's a qualitative difference between the two so I don't know if I can properly compare them. The smell of your freshly washed hair is…light, but there is a deepness to this smell." He shook his head. "I'm afraid I don't have the vocabulary yet to describe it."

"Well if you think it smells nice, just wait until you taste it," Clem said.

Kye lifted his sandwich carefully. Cheese oozed liberally out onto his fingers as he took a delicate bite. A moment later, his eyes went wide and the blue circuitry raced across his cheeks. He chewed slowly then swallowed. "It's delicious!" he exclaimed in delight.

"Try dipping it in your soup." Clem demonstrated with her own sandwich.

Kye mimicked her, dipping the corner of his sandwich into his bowl and bringing it back up dripping red. He took a bite out of it and closed his eyes. For a moment, the only sound that came from him was a low hum, more mechanical than human, but Clem hoped it had the same meaning as such a sound would have from an organic being.

The android's eyes snapped back open and a beaming smile cut across his face. "It's fantastic." He shook his head in wonderment. "It's amazing how the flavoring of the soup, instead of masking the taste of the sandwich, instead enhances it. I've wished for years that I could taste and never thought I would. It's so much better than I ever thought it would be."

For the next several minutes, they both dug into their food heartily.

Kye sampled his salad and his blue processing lights flashed back on. He frowned in concentration, then used his fork to sort through the salad until he found a green chunk of cucumber. Gingerly, he popped it in his mouth and made a face. "I don't think I like that one," he said. He sampled another. "Yeah, I don't care for that," he confirmed. He fished around with his fork and took another bite of salad. "I love the tomatoes though. They're sweeter than I always imagined they'd be." He brightened. "Do you think I'd be able to grow my own tomatoes at your apartment?"

"I think the front window gets enough sunlight that you'd be able to get them to grow," Clem said. "And it's your apartment too now. As long as you choose to stay."

Kye looked slightly abashed. "I'm not used to anything being mine. Even the plants were all gifts from Mother."

Clem watched Kye with gentle concern. The few times that he'd mentioned Dr. Lin in the past three days had seemed difficult for him and to weigh heavily on his heart. Clem could guess a little of what he was feeling. Dr. Lin had been Kye's life up until now: his creator, his caretaker, his teacher. Clem could only imagine how jarring it must have been for Kye to be faced with the naked truth that his mother would rather see him obliterated than living as an individual. Clem's stomach knotted up as she remembered just how close Kye had come to having his existence wiped completely away.

A small tear slid down his cheek and plopped onto the front of his jacket, so quickly that if Clem hadn't been watching she would have missed it. She wondered if she should mention that she'd heard him last night: soft sobs drifting up from down below when she'd woken briefly in the middle of the night. It broke her heart to know he was hurting.

She bumped her foot up against his under the table and he looked up at her. Their eyes met and a silent understanding passed between them that no words would have been able to elucidate. A quiet companionship hung in the air between them.

Clem decided to lighten the mood after a minute. She tore a chunk off her panini. "Here, Kye, want to try mine?"

Kye took it from her fingers and popped it in his mouth. "Hmm, good, but I still think mine is better." He tore a chunk off his grilled cheese and leaned across the table to pop it into her mouth.

"Now try my soup!" Clem giggled around the grilled cheese.

Kye was giggling too as he fed her a spoonful of his tomato soup.

"And I'll take all your cucumbers in exchange for my tomatoes," Clem bargained.

They exchanged vegetables. The mood between them had brightened as the nerves and awkwardness dissolved into the giddy playfulness of young love. They laughed as Kye bit into an extra-large tomato, squirting himself in the face with juice, and Clem leaned all the way across the table to wipe a spot off his cheek with her napkin. She watched as he finished off his salad, his excitement wonderfully childlike. Being around him woke something playful and curious in her that she hadn't felt in a long, long time, like a childhood glimpsed in a far off dream.

Before long, nothing was left of their meal except soup stains around the rim of their bowls and bread crumbs on their plates. Across the street, the park was now covered in shadows and the lamps lining the walkway were coming on. Everything was cast in the reddish glow of a Mars evening. Clem grabbed his hand. "Want to go for a walk?"

Valles Park was mostly deserted as they strolled down the walkway. The biodome regulated the temperature, keeping it warm enough for the humans of Tithonium to live comfortably, but there was still a noticeable drop as the sun disappeared beyond the craggy red rim of Valles Marinaris's towering walls. Clem shivered slightly, and Kye glanced down at her. Without a word, he slipped off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. She smiled at him and he smiled gently back.

At the center of the park, there was a gigantic circular mosaic of the solar system, ringed with benches and trees. The artificial wind blew gently through the treetops, causing them to rustle softly in the dark. Kye and Clem sat down together.

Clem gave Kye a shy sideways glance then scooted over a little closer to him until her hip bumped against his. She felt him look down at her as she laid her head on his shoulder. He slipped an arm around her shoulders, holding her closer to himself, then he leaned over a little to kiss the top of her head. His long hair brushed softly against her cheek.

"Clem?" he asked after a moment.

"Yeah?"

"I'm really glad you came to Mars."

She snuggled closer to him. "So am I."

"Was it scary? Leaving everything you'd ever known behind."

Clem considered his question briefly. "Yeah, it was really scary. It felt like diving into a big black hole, and I had no idea where I'd land. I mean, I'd already been offered the job at the repair shop, but other than that, I had no idea what was going to happen. It was like being surrounded by emptiness, like everything was falling away and I had no idea how it would be filled."

She felt Kye nod. "Yeah, emptiness." He sighed. "At least you don't have programming telling you how you should be living your life. If I'm not doing what I was literally created to do, what do I do?"

"You write your own code," Clem answered. "And I can help if you like."

Kye nuzzled her hair with his nose. "I think I'd like that very much. I'm so glad you're here while I'm going through all of this. I don't know if I ever would have left her, if it hadn't been for you."

Clem suddenly felt a fierce protectiveness towards him, the way she had when Dr. Lin had threatened to destroy him. "Well, if this is the only good thing that ever happens from me coming to Mars, then I consider that worth it all."

Kye cupped her cheek. Clem closed her eyes as his lips gently locked with hers, His kiss was as soft as his dark eyes, and Clem sank happily into it. She reached up and twined her fingers into his flowing hair and leaned into his chest, returning his kiss with a full heart.

When their lips parted, they remained deeply twined in one another's arms. "Have you ever been in love before, Kye?" Clem asked.

"No," he answered softly. "Before you, I wasn't even sure if I'd been programmed with the ability to fall in love." He laughed. "And now I'm going on dates. With my girlfriend."

It was the first time he'd called her that. Clem's cheeks and chest glowed with warmth.

"I'm glad that of all the futures that could have happened and all the places in the universe that I could have ended up, that I ended up here with you, Kye."

He squeezed her tightly. His arms were comforting and strong around her. "And I'm glad that of all the people that could have chosen to come to Mars and get a job at the University City Robotics Repair, that it was you, Clementine Chang."

As Kye cuddled her and nuzzled her cheek, Clem found herself looking over his shoulder into the night sky. Beyond the faint glimmer of the biodome, she could see the countless stars stretching out into the infinite universe.

There's no place in the whole universe I'd rather be than right here in your arms. Every atom of me is glad to be here figuring out the future with you. Together.

1/14/24 at 2035: Message to Therapist

Hi.  I've been sad about our last appointment- it seemed, I don't know, disharmonious.  I know I keep repeating the same patterns (is that normal?), and I feel like I am not grasping/remembering things I am supposed to be learning very well.  And maybe that is frustrating for you?  I was definitely on the defense, maybe projecting.  Usually I come out of our appointments with at least a little hope, but I honestly just felt stupid and kind of scared- is this the point where literally EVERYONE stops having patience with my issues?  I know what you mean when you say that I reach outside of myself once I get to a certain point with bad depressive episodes.  You are right, I do.  This stuff is isolating, lonely, and mirrors when I used to get so overwhelmed with emotion as a child (and teenager) that I would cry to the nearest adult.  Things that helped in the past that may not help now or have any permanence: reaching outside of myself for inspiration/assistance/hand-holding from others, following plans and lists, being rigid, seeing in black and white.  But I'm not sure what else to do because it is like playing the lottery- one of these things MAY work (they've worked in the past), and it may provide relief (even for several months!).  Do I have to totally abandon my old operating system?  Although, these things are losing their efficacy over time and as I get older, honestly.  

I am on a medical leave.  I am not sure for how long, but I will get some pay while off.  I tried to go to work Thursday, was relieved a supportive manager was going to be there, was packing my lunch and spilled some oatmeal and just broke down.  And then that caused a cascading effect- everything after that made me break down.  One minute I was crying, the next I was filled with so much rage that I felt dizzy.  Not good.  My PCP referred me to a gynecologist that treats PMDD, I see her Tuesday.  I'm hopeful something outside of myself will still provide relief- PMDD is gnarly.  I need a stone, at least one stone, lifted off of me so that I can continue to try (good grief, SOMEONE give me a piece of paper with a plan on it that I can follow and check boxes and tell me they will see me in a week to check my progress because this plan will likely give some relief from the cycles).  The obstinance is just ridiculous- it's like the toddler in me has stomped her foot and said, "No more, someone do something to help or I'm not moving from this spot."  It feels both good and bad, and I don't know how much I am screwing myself in the process, or how many more chances I will get or how many times people (my family included) will continue to help.  

What have I done this past week (jesus, I haven't been at work since December 30th, got a small check last Friday)- watched PBS a lot, cried, cried while watching PBS, did some chores here and there (sometimes while crying), picked up books I long to read and then immediately put them back down because I can't concentrate or be motivated for more than a few minutes, binged, colored in an adult coloring book called "Cat Farts" (it's exactly what it sounds like), and imagined myself being better in the spring somehow (I have visualized this so many times over the last several days- actually progressing in the right direction consistently).  I fall asleep many nights talking on the phone to Josiah because I feel less alone that way.  I'm screwed.  Am I screwed?  

Archie meets Kritten

So I just realized that there is no AUs/fanfictions for Minecraft legends/return of the piglins yet so consider this to be the first! Enjoy~!

Archie wondered through the woods alone when he sees a village in a near by field. He is nervous at first, worried they may have heard of his previous rein as the arch-illager and would shun him away, but there was some things he needed so he carried on and went in despite his nervousness…

When Archie walked into the he village, it was bright and everyone was happy. Archie smiled looking at the place, everyone was so happy and everyone seemed so calm, if only he grew up in a place like that… He finds a villager in a white robe doodling in a book and walks up to him, asking: “h-hello there sir! I-I’m Archie and I was wondering if you’d like to trade maybe..?” Archie nervously smiled at the villager who looked down at him. “You got emeralds kid?” “Yes sir! 48 to be exact!” “Then I’ll trade with ya, what is it that you need?”. Archie smiled and stomped his feet a little bit in excitement. “Oh my- thank you sir! I just need some chicken and bread and maybe some enchanting books?” “You’ll have to go to our cleric for the enchantment books but I can get you those other things. Wait here.”

The villager left into his house and Archie smiled and at there on the bench waiting for him, he sighed thinking about the last few days. Archie had sensed a weird ripple in the air that had been making him uneasy. In times like these he wished he had stayed with the orb or tried to win back his empire, but there was no turning back now. He figured that most of his fellow illagers wouldn’t even except him as a friend after he was defeated. The villager comes back with the chicken and bread, he says: “I got the stuff, that will be 24 emeralds!” “24?!” “Listen kid I have 3 bread loads here for ya and five chickens, it’s gonna help you on your mission in the nether now pay up!” Archie, now confused as ever, asks: “what do you mean by mission in the nether?” The villager takes Archie to the edge of the village and point to a lot nether portal colors to their village. “That portal right there has been making people feel like crap for weeks…It’s been giving off a weird sensation in the air recently, it’s been making everyone extremely uncomfortable. Many hero’s have tired to go through it, but they either don’t come out alive, or they go in once and never again…”

Archie was now curious, but he decided to let it be for now. His primary focus right now was to get what he needed, and go home for dark. So he did just that. When the villager stoped talking he wants to the cleric and got the enchanting books he needed and went home. When Archie went back to his house he looked through his bag to organize and put everything away, only to realize that his knock back three enchanting book was gone. “Ahh shit…” Archie cursed to himself, Archie rolled his eyes and went back out with a sword and rushed back out quickly to the field where the village was at, thinking he may have dropped it or maybe somebody stole it on the way home.

Archie got close to the portal when he sees his enchanting book on the grass. He picked it up relived that it hadn’t been stolen while he was going home. As he was going to pick up, his grey hand meets a pink one. Both mobs squeal in surprise and jump back, both look up to look at each other. Archie is shocked to see a piglin of all mobs, but this one was short, but like him…From Archies knowledge Piglins weren’t supposed to be that small, so Archie picked up his book and walks a little closer, the piglin immediately stepped back and grabbed his golden axe.

“WOAH WOAH WOAH calm down buddy I’m not gonna hurt you! I’m Archie! Who are you?” The piglin stopped, it was now their turn to be surprised. “Kritten! Kritten!” The piglin pointed to themselves, Archie smiled. “Hello Kritten, it’s nice to meet you! I’ve never seen a creature small like me before! It’s nice to finally meet some!” Archie puts his hand out for a handshake. Kritten was confused at first but eventually shook the illagers hand. “It’s getting pretty dark, were you about to go home?” Archie asked, Kritten looked back at The portal to the nether, he remembered what he had been out through this past little while and shook his head no to the illager. “Oh? Well, it’s getting pretty late…how about you stay with me for the night? Does that sound good?” Kritten was shocked at Archies kindness, usually other mobs didn’t treat him so well. Even as the advisor to Bungus in the bastion he wasn’t really all that respected.

“Come on! It’s getting dark and more dangerous mobs will be out soon!” Archie grabs Kristen’s hand and rubs with him until they are about a half a mile from Archies house. Archie huffed and puffed completely out of breath, so was Kritten. “Y…you okay Kritten?” Kritten nodded his head and they walked towards Archies house. When they arrive at Archies house they go inside, the house is small, just like it’s residents. Kritten looks around at how fixed and clean everything is, he’s a little confused but he’s pretty impressed. He still was a little nervous, why was Archie being so kind? Was he trynna trick him? If so, why?

All the while Archie was making his bed and organizing the last of his things. “Kritten? Are you okay?” The piglin got startled a little bit, they replied: “Y-yes. I am okay..” “Ah! So you DO talk, it’s okay, I understand being shy in a new place. Do you have anywhere to go in the morning?” Archie asked as he poured himself a cup of water. Kritten shook his head, “No…I’m never been in the over world before.” “Oh I see, say, what are you here anyways? Piglins don’t ever come up here unless a hero somehow takes them here!” Kritten sat on the bed on the other side of the small house and sighed. “I got banished from my bastion after not finding land for my leader Bungus…I’m his advisor- well- Ex-advisor now really…Some other piglin named Uggub tried to kill me a few times and then I ended up here…i just want to be able to be safe some where again…But of FUCKING COURSE I’m not respected enough to have that aren’t I..?!?!?” Kritten smacked his bag down to the ground and sighed when he sat back on the bed. Archie sat next to him and rubbed his back, he understood his feelings, he understood them a little to well.

“Ya know I was banished from my tribe at some point, I almost ended up dead plenty of times but now I live here peacefully on my own! …You’re homeless, Yes?” “Mhm…” Kritten nodded. “Well then! You can stay here With me then! I’ve been needing a friend out here, I do have one friend but he’s a fair ways away, so how about it? Would you like to live with me Kritten?” Kritten was nervous at first, should he trust him? Kritten figured after all that he had done for him so far that he might as well. So he shakes his hand and nods. “Yes please, I would love that very much.” “Great! Now uhhh- I do r have anymore beds, or Room for one- so you’re just gonna have to either sleep with me or I can make you a cot or something.” Kritten thought for a minute, he wanted to see what an overworlder bed felt like. So he hops into the bed and turns facing the wall. Archie jsut laughs and gets in with him. “Goodnight Kritten! Sleep well buddy.” “You to Archie.. and.. thank you…” “anytime pal..” and both drifted off into sleep.