#i guess !!? idk no strong thots
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2/3 of tha shorty squad‼️‼️
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first for all, I’m so happy for u baby!!! u deserve every milestones and I’m happy to be witnessing it and more in future 🫶🏼
& for the drabble milestone uhm idk if you’ve watched nevertheless but I wanna request jk in that anatomy scene!!! where he’s teaching u abt human anatomy and its cute but things get heated 🫣 if u wanna add some body worship and putting his mouth everwhere while he’s teaching u stuff 🏃♀️ ily ilyyyy jsjckdjfjdkd byeee
DIVINE FEMININE | JJK
No one can make you feel like a goddess better than Jeon Jungkook.
» pairing: jungkook x fem!reader
» genre: BTS | 18+ | fwbs | college au | smut | fluff
» wc/date: 2.6k | July 2022
» warnings: body worship | fingering | jungkook will eat pussy until he dies
» notes: i hadn't seen nevertheless, but i watched it cuz of your request and wow i loved it! i hope this fits the vibe you were looking for~ i also don’t know anything about human anatomy cuz i’m #dumb so pls just ignore anything that might be incorrect khkjds
» masterlist | ao3 | send me ur thots 👅
» what was jai listening to? skin - mac miller
“Are you listening to me?” Jungkook leaned back on your couch, legs spread and hands holding your dreaded anatomy textbook.
You hadn’t been listening to him. Nope, you’d been staring at him with nothing but elevator music in your head. You were convinced your brain disappeared every time you were around him, unable to focus on anything but the way his lips pulled into a pout when he got to a concept he didn’t understand or when his eyebrows scrunched together when he disagreed with whatever answer you came up with for your homework. Who could blame you? The way he sat with his tattooed arm resting on the back of the couch behind you and his thick thigh pressed against yours was making your brain short circuit.
“Yes!” You rushed to answer him, adjusting your position on the couch to face him, your legs drawn up.
“You’re lying,” Jungkook said with a smirk. He snapped the textbook shut and placed it on the coffee table. You felt heat rush to your face when Jungkook lightly ran his fingers in gentle circles around your bare knee. “Should we take a break?”
It was impossible to stop your mind from reeling as you imagined what exactly you and Jungkook could do during your study break. You’d practically manifested his fingers creeping higher up your thigh with your dirty fantasies.
“Um, I guess we could? But I know it’s late and I don’t want to keep you here too long,” you insisted. Jungkook had already been at your apartment for two hours. It seemed like a lot to expect him to stay even later, now that the sun had long disappeared into the night.
“I don’t mind. I like studying with you.” Jungkook nodded, inching his fingers slightly further up your leg. His gentle traces made you shiver and you leaned forward slightly to scoot closer to him.
“I like studying with you, too,” you whispered. Jungkook hummed in response, his fingers now skirting the hem of your shorts.
“Pop quiz,” he announced as he gently pressed his fingers into your thigh to squeeze it. You let out a small gasp at the sudden action and Jungkook lifted his dark eyes to meet your gaze. They sparkled with mischief and something else you weren’t sure of. “What bone is this?”
“F-femur.”
“Good girl,” Jungkook praised you and you felt your stomach drop. He dragged his fingers back down the length of your leg. When he got to your calf he took a strong grip of it and pulled you towards him, drawing both of your legs to rest across his lap. His hands returned to your legs, gliding up to gently push your thighs apart. You let out a shaky exhale as you let him part your legs and watched his tattooed hand trace invisible patterns in the inside of your thigh.
“And what is this muscle?” he asked, fingers pushing up your shorts to gain access to more of your smooth, sensitive skin.
“The, the…” You inhaled with a sharp hiss when you felt Jungkook squeeze the inside of your thigh and begin to massage the muscle.
“Yes?” He locked eyes with you while he used his free hand to run his fingers through his bangs. You’d never met someone who you knew could ruin your life like Jungkook.
“The adductor…”
“The adductor what?”
“L-longus.” You reached out to grab Jungkook’s forearm when you felt him press his fingers between your thighs. You were sure he could feel the heat of your pussy through your shorts, maybe even feel the dampness of the fabric now that you were soaking through your underwear.
“You’re answering more questions correctly now,” Jungkook said with a light chuckle that shot straight to your thighs. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and you practically had your head rolling. “But we can stop.”
You shook your head without an ounce of dignity and let Jungkook’s arm go. “My test is tomorrow.”
“Should we start at the top and move down?” The way you were breathing heavily was merely one indicator that this was no longer about tests, but Jungkook was happy to play along. He slipped his hands beneath your t-shirt to push it up and off of you, tossing it onto the coffee table with your forgotten textbook. Leaning his body against yours, he forced you onto your back on the couch and hovered over you.
“What’s this?” he whispered, his lips ghosting over yours. You closed your eyes and tilted your head upwards, just barely pressing your lips against his. He tutted in disapproval. “You have to tell me first, princess.”
You let out a frustrated sigh and fluttered your eyes open to see Jungkook smirk. “Vermilion.”
He cocked his head to the side to assess if he’d accept that answer. You silently begged for him to move, to do something. The longer he took, the more you felt pressure build inside of you. After an eternity, he brought his lips to yours and you let out a small moan into his mouth when he sucked on your bottom lip. Your arms shot up to wrap around his neck, but Jungkook pulled away.
“We’re studying, beautiful,” he murmured, ducking out of your embrace. Before you could protest, he pressed a kiss against your neck, and then another at the middle of your throat. He traveled down until his lips whispered goosebumps down your chest and you felt your nipples grow erect beneath your lacy bralette just from his breath on your skin.
“You remember this one, right? The sternum.” He pressed a kiss just below where your bralette rested between your cleavage.
“Jungkook, ahh, stop it,” you whined, grabbing his head. You laced your fingers through his soft hair, lightly pulling at the strands that fell into his eyes. “It tickles. I’m going to hurt you if you don’t stop.” You were not liable for what your limbs would do once you started squirming under his touch.
“The sternum,” he repeated, ignoring your threats, “and your ribs protect all the organs in your chest. Like your lungs.” Jungkook pressed a kiss against your ribs. “And your heart.” He adjusted his position to run his tongue along the ribs just below your left breast. “To keep my pretty girl safe.”
“Jungkook.”
He leaned back to stare at you with those doe eyes that pulled at your heartstrings. It was all a trap, though, and you both knew it. There was nothing innocent about those eyes.
“Your test includes sex anatomy as well, right?” He slipped his hand beneath the waistband of your shorts.
You nodded your head, knowing where this was going and having no desire to stop it. He ran his middle finger up and down your clothed slit with such light pressure you almost didn’t feel it at all. Yet you still wiggled beneath his touch, hips bucking upwards to encourage him to press against you harder.
“The labia majora is what’s on the outside.” Jungkook slid his hand inside of your underwear and cupped your pussy. “Labia minora…” He pushed his fingers through your wet folds, swishing his fingers around your arousal. “Is on the inside.”
“And I’d be remiss to not mention my favorite part…” Jungkook whispered against your neck, his breath tickling your ear. He gently pinched your clit between his fingers and your body jolted forward. You pressed your hand against his chest and felt his heart speed up beneath your fingers.
“Your favorite part?” you whispered back.
“I love all of you, but this is my favorite.” He stroked your clit, rolling his finger in smooth circles against it. On occasion he switched it up, dragging his nail against the side of your clit and pressing hard circles into it sideways, only to quickly flip to do it again on the other side.
“Jungkook…” You focused on moaning his name and ignoring the four-letter word he’d never used towards you until now.
“Hmm, baby?”
You threw your head back against the couch and Jungkook took the opportunity to plant another kiss against your throat. He sucked on your skin hard enough to leave a mark and then roamed your body for a new spot to attack while his fingers rolled your clit. You panted and whined as your legs shook, unable to comprehend how Jungkook was already about to make you cum just by playing with your clit. Just as you felt like you were going to lose it, Jungkook pulled his hand from your shorts. You tilted your head to look at him, unaware of the pout that naturally formed on your lips.
“You’re so cute,” Jungkook said with a grin.
“No I’m not.”
“Beautiful, then?” You lifted your hips as he slid your shorts down your legs, taking your underwear with them. “Gorgeous? Breathtaking? Stunning? Hot as fuck?”
The compliments made you squirm and you couldn’t look Jungkook in the eyes, so you missed the dazzling smile he flashed at you while he adjusted your position on the couch. He maneuvered you so you sat up on the couch, legs spread apart. Then he sank to his knees in front of you.
“I’m just me,” you insisted, hesitantly taking a peek at the man between your legs. He held your gaze when he kissed the inside of your thigh, but the sight of his tongue slipping out to run along your skin made you shyly look away and swallow a moan.
“Hmm, I know what you are,” he challenged, turning his head to lick at the inside of your other thigh. Your body seemed to spread your legs even further without your permission until Jungkook was able to slot your legs over his broad shoulders. “You’re perfect.”
“You’re so corny.”
Jungkook scoffed and his hot breath scattered goosebumps along your thighs. You desperately ached for him to bring his mouth to exactly where he knew you wanted it to go, but tonight he was taking his time.
“Look at you.” He reached up to spread your lips, your arousal leaking onto his fingers as he did. “So pretty. My pretty girl.”
Having him examine the most intimate parts of your body made you feel self-conscious, but Jungkook looked at you with nothing but admiration. He ran his finger down the length of your folds until he got to your entrance. A low chuckle rumbled from his chest when you squealed once he slid a finger inside of you, quickly pressing right where he needed to.
“You act like I’ve never done this before,” Jungkook mused, but he loved how sweet and timid you were. He loved taking care of you.
Finding a slow rhythm to glide in and out of you, Jungkook watched your lips part and your head press against the back of the couch. Each whimper that fell from your lips matched the way he thrusted his finger into you, curling where you needed him to. Right when you began to move your hips against his hand, Jungkook lowered his mouth to lick your clit in a way that was so painfully slow you cried out against him.
“J-Jungkook, please,” you choked out, hands immediately reaching for his hair. He allowed you to control his movements, pulling him closer and rutting against his face as he flattened his tongue to accommodate the new rhythm you’d established.
For as demure as you acted, you certainly knew what you wanted. Something about Jungkook pulled out a different side of you. Maybe it was how gentle and thoughtful he was. Even though the two of you weren’t exclusive and you had no idea if he was hooking up with anyone else, he made you feel like the most important person in the world. When you had his face in between your thighs, his chin and nose smeared with your arousal, his breath panting in hot bursts against your skin whenever he came up for air, when you had all of that, you didn’t care to think about who else he might be fucking. Instead you twisted your fingers in his soft locks and used him just how he wanted you to.
“Getting tired, baby?” Jungkook laughed when he took a moment to breathe, noticing how you were letting your arms flop like jello next to you. “I’m gonna wear you out.”
After a while you were beginning to lose your control, slowly relaxing your legs until Jungkook was taking over once again. He continued to thrust his finger against your g-spot, sliding a second inside you and pressing upward just to feel your legs shudder against his shoulders and hear you scream his name. With his tongue he alternated between swirling figure eights against your clit to licking in quick succession, sucking on your clit hard when he wanted you to jump.
You watched him tilt his head to the side to open up your legs further and when his eyes fluttered shut you knew he’d become completely lost in working his tongue and fingers against you. If you were to sing him sweet praises just as he did to you, if you could shed your shyness around him, you would tell him he looked beautiful like that - eyelashes against his cheeks, jawline taunt, lips swollen and pink from his efforts to please you.
“Oh my god, Jungkook, it feels so goooood,” you slurred, barely able to get a coherent sentence out. He moaned into your pussy when you dug your nails into his hair, gripping him tighter as you felt your muscles contract in your abdomen and thighs. “I’m gonna, ohh fuck.”
Jungkook wrapped one arm around your waist to hold you down as he felt your walls clench around his fingers. Even as you squirmed in his arms and tried to clamp your thighs around his head, he kept up his movements until you were begging, practically sobbing, for him to stop. He let you go and you fell slack on the couch, your heart beating fast from your orgasm, and you felt like you might pass out from forgetting to breathe.
“You are so fucking sexy.” Jungkook lifted the hem of his shirt to wipe his face on it and something about his black t-shirt being coated with your cum made you swell with something akin to pride. “Are you okay?” he asked when he saw you sitting limp. When you gave him a silent nod, eyes still closed, Jungkook stood up. He gently gathered you in his arms and carried you to your bed.
“What are you doing?” you mumbled, never opening your eyes.
“Taking care of you.”
You heard the sound of your dresser drawers being opened and some quiet rustling before you felt Jungkook lift you up to pull a clean t-shirt on over your head. Then you felt his hands, calloused from hours of lifting weights at the gym, slide clean underwear up your legs to rest comfortably on your hips.
“You didn’t have to do that,” you mumbled, slowly opening your eyes to see Jungkook sitting on the edge of your bed. You had no idea what time it was, but fuck you were exhausted.
Jungkook shrugged. After a few moments of silence with the two of you listening to each other’s breathing relax in the dark room, Jungkook leaned down to press a kiss against your forehead.
“I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to,” he whispered against your hair. When he looked down, you were fast asleep, softly snoring in a way Jungkook could only find adorable. He gave you another kiss, this time on your cheek, and you sighed in your sleep. “I love you,” he whispered, standing up to gather his things and leave.
Maybe one day he’d say it while you were awake.
all rights reserved © gimmethatagustd on tumblr & ao3
do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my work <3
#drabble request#divine feminine#ryujinsfemaledog#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#bts#bts x reader#bts x you#jungkook fanfic#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#bts smut#bts fluff#bts fanfic#gimmethatagustd#jai writes#milestone drabbles
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Look….more mommy hwa and more answered asks about Christopher being possessive and freaky…
I needed this thank you 🥹
Today is very very hard and I’m feeling a lot of hard feelings and life rn so overwhelming and confusing. I’m the type of person who’s got a hard shell but it’s made of like bulletproof armor on the outside but I’m v gooey and sensitive inside. I didn’t realize I needed some good brainrot inducing delulu soup to distract me so 🤌🏻 thank you
CW: WHORNY AF HARD THOTS AND DELULU SOUP
So Christopher *sigh* idk what I want to ask just my aqua sun6h/Scorpio moon3h/Leo rising/aqua Mercury 7h/sag Venus5h/Leo mars1h ass is like…………
Imagine him like soft dom but so so so into like corruption but not necessarily always meaning inexperienced partner, but maybe inexperienced in all the kinks and little taboos. I read him as wanting to break someone who’s normally very strong minded and kept together and so like very much Brat Tamer I guess. Like after he makes you cum on his mouth and then on his fingers, he wants to degrade you in the gentlest way and praise you, his voice saccharine, while he manhandles you and fucks you hard. You’re cock drunk and starting to cry a little from how good it feels and from the overstimulation. The type to make you tell him out loud what you want and where you want him and that you don’t want him to stop and make you beg him to cum and tell him how good he feels and that only he does that to you bc he’s possessive and he’s got an ego and needs you to need him in every way possible.
something about him and his Gemini rising tells me he might be good with his hands ~that might be my hand kink tho clouding my judgement(Gemini Lilith 😅) ~ *cough*cough*
ANYWAYS
He wants to break you open and make sure you can be that vulnerable and submissive to him and him only, also to know you at a very deep level. Whether you get to know him at that deep of a level is another story and depends on how deep he is in his fuckboy ways. He wants you a lady in the streets and HIS freak in the sheets. But he totally wants to corrupt you and his sag mars: he wants to try new shit with you and be adventurous and explore new kinks etc etc.
Every break down of this man’s chart has me like “oh yes pls, 😊. yes ma’am I’ll take one, where do I purchase this?”
And everyone’s like he’s this and that and potentially toxic in these ways and idk if I’m enamored by his Libra charm or what but I’m like “I can handle him, the question is actually ‘Can he handle me?’” and it’s very delulu but also I think that thought is kinda true. (hypothetically and astrologically speaking) In my little brainrot soup for the night 🥰
I can’t even begin on mommy Hwa and the gooey lovey mess he turns my brain into. Something about him is so tender but also like so so so so so freaky but like gentle but so fucking kinky? Idk that man + mommy kink + body worship + needy/clingy doms is so so so good. You’re one of my fav fic writers, and my fav mommy hwa enthusiast. Thank you for serving and thank you for your brain and thank you for the distraction on a hard day like today 🖤
Much appreciate, have a lovely rest of your week, and as always cool pillow on both sides for you!
I CANT PUT PICS IN ANONYMOUS ASKS WTF…. Fuck it I’ll go off anon for this
This is 🖤Anon on my side blog/lurk account 😅
I am ending tonight's 2 hour post of going through my asks with this absolute banger of an ask from @youre-alittle-taste-of-hell and also hi Izzy!
I'm Ruby! It's nice meeting you *hugs*
I understand how life can feeling overwhelming and frustrating when things don't go you way. I am also a golden retriever disguised as a black cat and us fire placements want love and care too.
I hope things get better for you <3
Imagine him like soft dom but so so so into like corruption but not necessarily always meaning inexperienced partner, but maybe inexperienced in all the kinks and little taboos.
This section has me feeling shit at 10:33 pm on a Tuesday afternoon while watching Chris D'Elia 'Man On Fire' on Netflix.
I just love how Bang Chan stans have silently agreed that Chan's corruption kink is fucking massive and do we have any physical evidence?
No-
But with his massive caregiver complex and Daddy kink, it kinda goes hand in hand.
I can just imagine that paragraph so vividly just him covered in sweat, his black hair sticking to the sides of his face and his mouth all shiny with spit and your cum just smirking at how fucked out you are, your eyes are beginning to cross and there's drool against the pillow.
'Don't black out on me yet baby girl, mmmh? Daddy still needs to cum'
OR...OR!!!
You're crying and sobbing against the pillow because he's edged you within an inch of your breath and the pressure is so tight it HURTS and your legs are spasming and face contorted with need as you just beg your pretty heart out.
'Please, I can't take it anymore, please make me cum, I'll do anything, please Daddy i just need it'
And then he would hover over you, wipe the drool from your mouth and press gentle kisses across your face as he pushes himself into you.
'See, that wasn't so hard wasn't it? Daddy will always reward my baby girl when she asks for something yeah?'
I also don't know how ppl enjoy being edged so severely man, I would tap out after 20 mins.
Overstimulation all the way for me.
Yeah, his Gemini Rising means he would be an exceptional kisser and great with his fingers.
His Libra stellium also means he has amazing stroke game but moving back to the kissing.
I feel like he would be a messy kisser (in a good way) like the loud smacking noises, drool and spit, definitely makes little sighs and noises of satisfaction in between kisses.
When Chan leaves his fuckboi era, sex would be incredibly emotionally intimate because he loves and adores how he sees you in a way no one does.
I have this thought that sex with Bang Chan could be so intimate, you would both end up crying and not in a dacryphilia way but in a 'i fucking love you so much and it's so emotional' way.
As much as Bang Chan likes fucking, he enjoys making love more.
And here's the thing right, Bang Chan's frontal lobe has developed so he doesn't even has the neurological excuse of 'well his brain is not fully developed yet' because NOW IT IS.
Also, your placements are low-key intimidating because wow, they are powerful.
I think Bang Chan would like the challenge of being able to handle you.
Seonghwa is definitely freaky and kinky and is very hardcore, he likes it hard, he likes it rough, he prefers a jackhammering pace (which is a bit of an ick of me because that doesn't sound enjoyable but okay).
I think the reason why jackhammering gives me an ick is because rough and fast doesn't always mean good okay?
I think a slow but deep and firm pace is better because you can get a better angle and hit the right spot every time.
But I also understand that some ppl like being treated like a battering ram during sex and that is also okay.
He would give you brilliant aftercare and reassurance though and that's what matters.
Thank you for the thirst my sweet, I will gobble this up and use this as my fantasy thoughts for sleep tonight.
Yum yum.
#🖤 anon#answered ask#moot#anon ask#slumber party with ruby#astrology talk with ruby#bang chan x reader#bang chan hard thoughts#kpop astrology#seonghwa x reader#seonghwa hard thoughts#mommy!hwa#mommy seonghwa
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vampire!kip but his gf penny is actually human
she helps him style his hair and do his makeup since kip cant see his own reflection. this also leads into daily affirmations that he looks great in his silly little outfits
my canon is and has always been that you cant photograph vampires even with modern technology, so all their couple selfies would just be of her. kip would always be somewhere in the background tho, and only penny would ever be aware. this gets hilarious social media response when she posts something like “date night ❤” with a supposed couple selfie but its just her. ppl just think that shes a strong independent woman who needs no man, even tho hes just. right there. they just cant see him tbh. she mostly just explains this with kip being camera shy and not wanting a social media presence
cause people have seen them in public together. on dinners together. at the movies. and whatnot. she has introduced him to her friends (and vice versa i guess? idk who kips supernatural friends in this au are yet lol), they all know he exists
he is a sunglasses at night kinda guy. he has probably way too many pairs of those. he dont care he thinks he looks good. so sunglasses at night.. and if he needs to go out for whatever while the sun is out, a cardboard box it is. its not perfect, but it sure is something
painted nails (thanks penny), flawless eyeliner (thanks penny), pretty dyed hair (thanks penny), matching outfits (thanks penny)
tho he also still wears crop tops. cause ofc he does. midriff and arms? yes please hes got nothing to hide. he just gets extremely self-conscious about this at times tho, considering he cant be posting thirst traps. it kinda makes him sad tbh
kip also doesnt feed off of penny. she would let him, but he doesnt wanna risk it (maybe at moments of passion he slips but its never serious). thankfully hes still an absolute thot tho so he can just go out and work it out. penny is absolutely fine with this tbh cause she knows he loves her no matter what and she trusts him
hes a posh bastard that drinks monster (and other energy drinks) out of wine glasses. that is all
#ive had way too many thoughts about this ngl#think is the current thing im clinging onto to make myself feel something positive in these tough times#anyways. i dont even know if im gonna do anything with this its just here now. out of my brain just word barfed onto the screen#enjoy lol#wrestling musing#i guess lmao
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umbrella academy s03e01-02 thots
ep 1:
the sparrows are introduced pretty quickly — and in the middle of a fight — and aren't really explained at all. kinda gives the vibe of "this is normal in this timeline, better get up to speed on your own, and quickly"
(on that same note: i think the dance-off — even if it was a hallucination — was a very weird note to start the season on.)
the timeline has been changed. they assume that they had been left with their birth parents, which would mean that they had entirely different lives. why does allison think she would still have the same husband and child???
i love justin h min's acting, and i'm honestly super glad he's got a bigger role this season (both in terms of screentime and in being his own person)
there are six umbrellas, seven sparrows, and one dad. come on, guys. apes together strong. /hj
ep 2:
the clipping that viktor reads says that sissy died on the umbrellas' birth date. by the end of the episode, we know that this is the date that the umbrellas' would-be birth parents died. i doubt she would've been one of those parents. but she is the mother of harlan, who has shown up in the periphery of this season. it'll be interesting to see how they come into play.
they weren't lying, viktor's transition was WICKED rushed.
to paraphrase:
five: you met with the enemy, vanya??
viktor: it's viktor, actually. that's who i've always been
five: ok cool, love that for you. but what the fuck were you thinking?
i do hope that, if there are more seasons after this, they flesh out viktor's gender stuff a bit more. especially if gerard has more of a hand in writing that — i trust him with a trans arc way more than some rando.
i kinda appreciate five's forced nonchalance. i think his actor did a decent job of capturing this old man's "can't i get a god damn break" energy.
the sparrows include TWO white women with long dark hair. i am pretty much faceblind (#autism) and only noticed that they were two people when they formally introduced themselves to luther. so far my only way of distinguishing them is "hits on ******" vs "spits".
klaus's steering wheel is on the right side of the car.....?
allison's ptsd is depicted pretty realistically. i'm certainly glad that the trauma they've all faced wasn't glossed over, and i appreciate that it affected them all differently.
the way the amish are treated here is..... suspect somehow. very "isolated, Weird group with misplaced hostility, and one Good Apple who helps the protag". idk, i can't exactly write an essay criticizing this depiction right now, but i feel like i've seen this trope before and it's been ugly
i'm sure we'll find out more about this, but how did that amish lady find out about all the other umbrella-mothers' deaths??
not sure i like this approach to time travel. five says that, since they were never born in that timeline, time-traveling into it creates an Ultra Mega Super Bad paradox. but i mean..... wouldn't it be a worse paradox if they actually had doppelgängers walking around? *sighs* i guess i'll just have to see how this plays out but. mmrggghhh
come ON, you bastards. KEEP it IN your PANTS.
edit: i've partially changed my mind on the vanya/viktor name change. bc there are trans people who are given names that "match" their gender or are gender-neutral, and change them anyway to better match how they feel. so *shrugs* cool. of course one also has to consider that viktor is a fictional character, not a real trans person with real agency. but like. it's whatever.
edit edit: got a couple names mixed up and misspelled a word
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Why are you impressed by strong men fighting? To dominate you?
For one real book, name a tune.
Jumped from the shelves he was sitting on to be in the villain crotch shot.
These two whole pages are just, idk what to call it, white boy autumn I guess.
Did you mansplain foreplay to a sex worker? Did you feel smart? Are you aware you came off as hitting on him?
Worick will not think, Mr Bernardo is so impressive and quick witted, what an amazing pun that was. He will think you're desperate for cock.
(yes, I know, he was trying to put down Worick: hey dumb whore, you won't notice me? Well, here's a plan in a way a dumb whore like you understands it: we're handling the foreplay so to speak.
Except Bernardo is the dumb one. Sir this is a library, not a place to flirt, just pick a book with words in it and read. Do you know the plan Bernardo? Did you read it? Because Worick did? Or will you be the guy in the group project to do no work and yet get an A?)
Daddy Uranos? The internet had ruined me. Worick with the way he stripped your shit off your body, like grabbing a cat by the neck who then moved away, you're lucky Uranos doesn't swing that way.
If it all burns down it is stored in Worick's head, but Bernardo does even comment the rest of them also need access to the library. All that matters is that he made a mess. Read a book so you can name a painting Bernardo, I beg you.
Goddamn psycho. What even is that necklace? Wear a cross; pray to Jesus.
Plus dyed hair, possibly black, to blonde. The mask of a thot.
(Me to me: he's dumb as a brick
Also me to me: is it working? Are you attracted to him? Is he the next trash to set on fire?)
Name a painting. 🔫
Which one is it?
Worick has put on his customer service face because 20+ years does that to you. Worick may tolerate you, but I couldn't.
Yes, I called. Show some ass.
Why do you as a man, want to get along with other men?
Emilio's face is me rn.
(2/?)
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💦 Thirsty Thots 💦
yes boss
Pairing / Warnings: boss!Charlie Hunnam x Reader (boss of what? …based on the outfit in these gifs I guess it’s probably something corporate? … idk lol but he’s DOMINANT AF and reader is a subby lil slut)
Imagine that you work for Mr. Hunnam… that he’s your boss not only in your filthy fantasies but also that you’re actually professionally working under him… [and let’s just blissfully ignore the fact that irl the following would pose a lot of problems.]
Okay, so like imagine that he orders you to meet him in his office at the end of every workday. ‘Yes boss’ is obviously all that you can say. He knows you’re wired to obey. Both of you get off on the power play, the fact that you submit to him in every fucking way.
In the above gif ⬆️ maybe he’s just taken off his tie to use it as a blindfold. Or his leather belt to use it as a whip because your boss loves to remind you, when he’s standing tall behind you, that your purpose is to do what you are told.
In the below gif ⬇️ he just poured himself a drink, taking his time deciding what he wants to do with you while you tremble with lust because his rolled up sleeves are such a fucking kink…
So now your boss tells you to strip—slowly—as he watches you closely, drinking in the sight more deeply than the liquor in the glass that he now raises to his lips.
He takes a long deliberate sip. His blue gaze darkens with the knowledge that he owns your whole damn being in his strong dominant grip.
And when your boss grants you the privilege, to suck and fuck him in his office as his dirty little bitch—that there is the ultimate power trip… for he will always be the beacon of superiority and pure authority that you exist to worship.
💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦
I really hope y’all are enjoying these Thirsty Thots so far, and would love to hear from you if you are!! 🤗💖
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Thirsty Thots Masterlist
#charlie hunnam#charlie hunnam smut#charlie hunnam imagine#charlie hunnam x reader#charlie hunnam x you#thirsty thots
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body of mine | Seokjin (M)
→ summary: It’s the night before Seokjin’s birthday and you, his ever-reliable witch slash roommate, have accidentally forgotten to get him a gift. Good thing you know magic then, right? Ten wishes shouldn��t be too hard to handle…
{or alternatively: learning the importance of living a marie kondo lifestyle, but in hindsight}
→ genre: shifter!au, magic!au, humor/crack, smut
→ warnings: jin is your magical hamster familiar, jin is chaotic (ofc), magical mischief that only zee could come up with, aphrodisiac sex, penetrative sex, oral (f receiving), slightly rough sex, dom!jin if you squint, hair pulling, jin doesn’t wrap up his peepee (pls practice safe sex u guys), dirty talk, breeding kink??
→ words: 16.9K
→ a/n: IDK WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE ORIGINAL POST BUT HERE IT IS!! IM SO SORRY BUT HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY @jincherie PLEASE IM GOING TO CRY I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS (pls send me your thots i suffered greatly for this fic i’m actually dying appa yip yip)
Whoever told you that keeping a hamster as a familiar was a good idea must have been an idiot.
It’s you – you are the idiot. Every one of your friends had warned you about the little vermin. They had begged you to kick him out the moment you found him taking a hamster-sized dump on your prized foxgloves.
You’d been in the middle of pruning the yallows in your garden when you heard a tiny squeak! to your right. When you pushed the foliage away, you saw a small hamster, cheeks puffed up with its little fists clenched by its sides, as pellet after pellet of tiny shits were pushed out of its tiny ass and onto your plants.
You brought him into your home, already making up your mind that you’d keep him as a pet. You have been feeling a bit lonely these days; surely, a tiny little hamster won’t be too much of a problem to take care of, right? You’re so excited that you even invite your friends over to behold your newfound darling.
“I’m going to kill that tiny bastard,” Yoongi hissed the moment he made eye contact with the hamster, his pupils dilating and fluffy cat ears tensing, ready to attack. You could see his claws begin to extend, so you made sure to place your new friend out of his reach. Lucky for you, Yoongi had the arm span of a toddler.
“Oh, c’mon! He’s so fucking cute though,” you cooed, tickling the hamster’s belly. It squeaked happily, nudging your finger to scratch the underside of its ears. Yoongi hissed at it from behind Namjoon’s back, his fingernails digging painfully into the gentle giant’s shoulders. The bespectacled witch didn’t even seem to bat an eye.
“Y/N, I’m all for keeping magical pets and whatnot, but I have to agree with Yoongi… That hamster has too much bastardous energy,” Namjoon said, wincing when the hamster begins munching on the sleeves of your cloak in earnest. You continued to squeal in delight, positively endeared by the cute little ball of fur in your palms.
Due to your magical abilities, you had sensed that this little hamster had magic in his veins and you guessed that he must have either been a shifter or an intellectually augmented animal. You guessed that he’s the former, much like how Yoongi is a cat shifter as well. Ever since Namjoon had befriended Yoongi and the two became partners, you admit that you’ve always been a little jealous of their natural camaraderie. You had long since yearned for someone who could assist you in your magical apothecary, but more importantly, someone you could share your time with.
You were optimistic; perhaps when the little hamster learned to shift into its human form, then you could truly begin your journey towards friendship. You’re sure that the man behind the hamster must be just as cute and lovely.
Speaking of learning to shift—
“What? You mean me?” Yoongi asked, craning his head over Namjoon’s shoulder, his curiosity getting the better of him but still remaining a safe distance away from you and the hamster. “What about learning to shift?”
“Did you just learn one day? I want to get Mr. Hamster over here to turn into a human so I can speak to him,” you explained, but the cat shifter narrows his eyes distrustfully.
“I don’t want that vermin to gain the ability to speak. I can just tell no one is going to enjoy what he has to say,” he sniffed. He growled lowly, the sound so deep and feral that you are momentarily disarmed by his hostility. Namjoon had to rub the back of his ears for a second, forcing Yoongi to calm down until his growl softened into a purr.
“Well, Yoongi can’t control his shifting abilities quite yet. I have to… forcibly change him, if you will,” Namjoon explained, watching Yoongi with loving eyes as he gently nuzzled his head into the witch’s hand. He beckoned you closer and you took a tentative step forward, keeping the hamster behind your back just to be safe. “Watch,” he said simply, as his hand trails lower and lower until it reached the back of Yoongi’s neck and he–
Poof! Namjoon simply tickled the back of Yoongi’s neck and a puff of purple smoke revealed a munchkin cat in its wake. His soft gray and white fur bristled in surprise, his teeth bared at Namjoon as he meowed in contempt. Namjoon ignored all of this, gently picking up the tiny cat and cradling him in his arms like a baby. Immediately, the shifter relaxed, eyes closing contentedly as he burrowed deeper into Namjoon’s chest.
“Woah,” you said, for lack of better words. You shook your head, gazing at the two in wonder. “I didn’t know Yoongi has a fucking eject button.”
“Yep. I sure hope you don’t abuse this knowledge, by the way,” Namjoon warned, but the mischievous gleam in his eyes told you that he probably wouldn’t mind if you did. Knowing you, there was no question that you’d take any and every opportunity to annoy the cat shifter. “If this hamster is the same, then surely it has a similar tick. Since it’s small too, I’m sure it’ll be easy to find its spot.”
“Speaking of,” you piped up, staring curiously at him. “How… did you find out where Yoongi’s spot was? Didn’t you meet him as a human?”
Namjoon shrugged, but there’s a soft pink tint coloring the tops of his ears. “Umm… Coincidence?”
You squinted at him. “Sure,” you agreed, not wanting to know why he seemed so embarrassed. You turned back to the furry matter at hand, lips pursing as you gazed upon the hamster. Surely, there should be an easy way to figure this out…
You began to roll the small hamster in your hand like a pancake, twisting and pulling the lil guy until it started squeaking in protest. You made sure not to handle it too roughly, so you were a bit surprised at how dramatically the hamster was screaming. “Just another moment, baby…” you murmured. At the sound of the pet name, the hamster paused in its squirming, staring wide-eyed at you with its tiny mouth ridiculously agape. You arched a brow, amused at the aghast expression on its face.
“Well, that settles it. You’re definitely human, by the looks of it,” you commented, poking it lightly on the nose. The hamster scrunched up its face just as a soft pink smoke started to envelop its tiny body. You coughed harshly, your sinuses tickled by the strong scent of caramel and mint. “W-well, I think I found its spot,” you pointed out helplessly, eyes watering as you tried to keep them open.
The hamster’s body was growing ridiculously hot, forcing you to drop it on your kitchen counter. You hissed, sucking on your burned appendages as you wait for the smoke to subside. Beside you, Namjoon had Yoongi held tightly in his arms, his back turned away to keep the smoke away from their faces. “Y/N, get some clothes quickly. He’s going to be cold when he finishes transforming,” was all he said, his free hand covering his nose. “This is probably going to be its first shift in a while!”
You’re still completely flabbergasted, frozen in place. “What?” you replied dumbly, standing stock still as you waited for the smoke to dissipate. As more and more of it cleared, you noticed two pairs of long legs where there originally had been none. You waved your hand a bit, fanning the remaining fumes away from your nose, allowing you to gaze upon a very naked and very tall man sitting primly on your kitchen counter.
You and the man stared each other down, neither of you blinking nor backing down. After a few moments, the man smiled brightly at you, his cheeks bunching up much like how he did in his hamster form. “Hello, human,” he greeted, extending a hand towards you. You took it dazedly, still staring wide-eyed at him. “My name is Seokjin. I suppose this means I’m going to be your familiar from now on.”
Your gaze traveled downwards, your hands still clasped together with his. “You’re naked,” you said plainly.
He followed your gaze. “I suppose I am,” he mused, shrugging his shoulders. He was incredibly wide; it almost made no sense that he was a hamster just a few seconds ago. What did he do, bench press sunflower seeds all day? “I am also incredibly beautiful, but we can continue stating the obvious another day.” He released your hands, clasping them together with a beatific smile. “C’mon, human! Bring me your finest garments because my handsomely sculpted testicles are starting to shrivel up from the cold.”
Behind you, you could hear Yoongi hissing loudly in response.
And from that day forward, your adventures of living with the biggest nuisance in the world had begun.
x x x x x
[December 3, 11:39 PM]
Okay, maybe calling him a nuisance is a bit too mean… He’s not that bad. Although, you are sure that Seokjin would have gladly nipped you in the tit if he ever found out you thought so lowly of him. Which you don’t.
Usually.
Except when he’s being annoying, which is all the time. For example:
“Stop fucking biting, you little furball,” you grouse, flicking the hamster in the stomach. He gasps in response, or at least, you assume he had gasped since hamsters don’t exactly have the same vocal cords that humans do. What you do know, however, is that Seokjin seems particularly adamant to be irritating tonight, despite your numerous threats to snip his tiny hamster balls should he continue to pester you.
Unfortunately, none of your usual intimidation tactics work, thus prompting you to grab the small rodent and squeeze him like a squeaky toy. (And what do you know—he even squeaks like one too!)
“Will you stop bothering me? You know I’m busy.” You squint angrily at him, scowling when Seokjin looks back at you with faux innocence. This lil bitch wouldn’t know innocence if it shoved a finger up his ass! “You’ve been more annoying than usual. You even tried parkouring over my herb bottles even though I’ve told you numerous times that’s off limits!”
You feel only slightly bad for scolding him; after all, you are in the midst of preparing a particularly difficult potion for one of your clients tomorrow. Seokjin knows this, and you even specifically told him not to bother you until you finished for the night. While he often did like to interrupt your work for “life or death situations” such as “cuddling” or “spoon-feeding him some pudding,” he usually leaves you alone to do your work when you’re faced with tougher jobs. Today doesn’t seem to be the case as he nibbles ferociously on your sleeves, desperate for you to listen to whatever nonsense he wants to convey.
Rolling your eyes (albeit you admit you do it out of fondness), you gently take the little hamster into your hands, placing him on your kitchen floor. You make sure the stove for your potion making is turned off before you turn back to him, honking his button nose and waiting for him to shift completely.
Since it’s no longer his first time shifting, it only takes Seokjin a few seconds to transform into his human self, his large frame quickly taking up most of the space of your cramped kitchenette. He accidentally bumps his head into one of your hanging potted plants, causing him to yelp in surprise rather than actual pain. He glares pointedly at your orchids before switching that ire onto you, his normally saccharine brown eyes filled with thinly veiled contempt.
“Took you long enough,” he sniffs, poking you not-too gently in the cheek. He folds his arms, appearing to you like a child throwing a tantrum. “Well?”
You raise a brow, covertly turning on your stove once more to resume your potion-making. “Well what?” you say, stirring your small cauldron from the corner of your eye. Seokjin halts your movements instantly, pulling your arm away and half-dragging you towards your living room.
“H-hey! That potion is really sensitive, so let me go—”
“It’s almost midnight,” is all he says before dumping you unceremoniously on your old sunken couch. You grunt from the impact, but he doesn’t apologize for his gruffness (as he never has). You peer up at him, scowling slightly at his unexpectedly cryptic remark.
“And so? This potion is due for pick-up in two days and I’ll need to steep it for another 24 hours before I can even think to package it–”
Instead of replying, Seokjin takes his phone out of his pocket and thrusts the screen towards you. You look at it in confusion, confronted with the sight of his lock screen without any explanation. “It’s… 11:43?”
He rolls his eyes, though you notice a slight hint of disappointment clouding his expression. “And what about the date?” he pushes, lips pursed thinly into a line.
He’s trying to get you to understand without saying it outright – a habit of his that he’s acquired ever since he started hanging out more with Yoongi. Though the two are hardly considered friends, even Seokjin has to admit that being near the cat has caused him to pick up a thing or two, with his tsundere tendencies being one of the first.
You, on the other hand, are forced to play along with his antics. You know that it is December 3. As you try to rack your head for anything you might have missed, you’re pretty sure you’ve accomplished all your chores for today, save for the current potion brewing for the customer coming in two days. You think back on your day, listing off all the things you had done.
You had met up with Namjoon to pick up more herbs from his shop, you delivered more mana potions to the local apothecary, you passed by the street market to buy more sunflower seeds for Seokjin… What on earth could you be forgetting?
“I sincerely hope you’re joking, you know.” Seokjin interrupts your train of thought, breaking you from your trance. When you look back at him, you find that his annoyance has cleared. Hurt replaces his expression, his bottom lip trembling slightly as he waits for you to realize.
When it appears that you won’t be noticing anytime soon, he heaves a heavy sigh, eyes closing in defeat. His voice cracks when he says, “Fine. It’s fine. Whatever. I’ll just… Go to my room. Don’t worry about breakfast tomorrow because I’m gonna sleep in.” And with that, he swivels away from you, shoulders hunched forward as he quietly makes his way to his quarters.
Left shocked and even more puzzled, your gaze is stuck where he had just been moments ago, anxiety and guilt rising in your chest as you try harder to remember what it is that caused Seokjin to shut you out like that. In your seven months of living together, not once has he ever looked so dejected, as the handsome shifter often liked to push your buttons and tease you whenever you mess up. This is clearly not like the other times, so whatever you forgot must pertain to Seokjin himself.
“Am I missing something? Did I forget to season his dinner again?” Although it is entirely too plausible that you did, you highly doubt Seokjin would be that upset at having a bland meal. So what else could it…?
Just as you’re about to give up and beg Seokjin to tell you what you had forgotten, your phone beeps, a new text from Namjoon arriving just in time. You flick it on, your brain taking a moment to fully grasp the words you were trying to read.
from: joonieboobie
to: y/n
hey y/n! are you gonna spend the entire day with seokjin tomorrow? yoongi and i figured that you’d do something special for him on his bday, so tell seokjin that we’ll treat him to a birthday dinner the next day instead. don’t have too much fun, okay? use protection LMAO
Shit.
You gasp suddenly, hand flying to your mouth as horror washes over you. Did Namjoon just say… bday?! Now that he mentions it, you realize that today is December 3rd, which means…
“Tomorrow is December 4th,” you whisper to yourself. You jump out of the couch, scrambling towards your kitchen at a wicked pace. Sweat begins to form at the back of your neck as you run over to your wall calendar, where lo and behold, tomorrow’s date is circled in blood-red ink. Circled by you, even. Holy shit holy shit holy shit–
No wonder Seokjin was so hurt. You’re a terrible, foul, no-good witch! The absolute worst person in the world! How on earth could you forget your own familiar’s birthday?
“Jesus fuck, I’m screwed,” you groan, slumping over your kitchen counter in defeat. You don’t even care that your potion has long since boiled over—not when you’ve already made a bigger mistake just now. God, you’re such a clumsy bitch; what’s the point of being a potion maker who helps cure other people’s maladies if you can’t even fix your shortcomings?
“I can fix this. I can fix this. I can—” You chant this multiple times to yourself as you rush to your nearby bookshelf, pulling out every book you own to find a last-minute gift idea. Surely, there’s something in these books that can help you make it up to Seokjin, right? You’ve made almost every potion there is under the sun, surely there is something you can brew that can bring back the smile on your lovably goofy familiar?
You’ll pour over all of these books if you have to. Despite your forgetfulness, your love for your familiar rings true; you would do anything for him, whatever he might ask.
A thought passes through your mind, but you shut it down for now. A last resort, you think grimly to yourself. You have a few hours left before he wakes up, after all. You’ll find something, you’re sure.
x x x x x
[December 4, 9:14 AM]
It turns out you do not find anything, after all. A halo of books surrounds you on your living room floor, your worn fingers littered with papercuts and ink stains after spending the whole night looking for a suitable gift for Seokjin. Everything just seems too regular to be a gift, though you suppose you’re only picky because you know that Seokjin is pickier. He’d whine for days if you gave him just any gift, and nothing grinds your gears more than having a sulking hamster eating the plants in your garden.
“Grandeur,” you can imagine him saying, nose upturned in that snooty way of his. “I require the most exquisite of presents. I, after all, am above peasantry. I cannot even stand the taste of wooden chopsticks upon my silver tongue.”
Frankly, you have no idea how he’d gotten to become such a prick so haughty, given that you know that he used to live on the streets before he had met you. Regardless, you’ve always been the type of person to be a little too forgiving, so your patience for his irritating unorthodox personality is stronger than most.
Although it might not be immediately apparent to most observers, the two of you make for a perfect pair. You are the calm to his storm, the logic to his insanity, the yin to his dumbass yang. While it’s easy to say that you hold the short end of the stick when it comes to living with Seokjin, he also grounds you and keeps you from pushing yourself too hard. There have been many long nights in the past when you would be too absorbed in your work, not even remembering to eat or drink for days. All it takes is a soft poke or nibble from Seokjin to jolt you back to your senses as he reminds you time and time again that your life matters not only to you, but him as well.
He’s your familiar. Your sweet, foolish, annoying, narcissistic familiar. It really might have been fate for you to have met all those months ago in your garden, though you’d never tell him that. He’d be much too smug about it if you did, as he never did shy away from proclaiming that he was your knight in shining armor or something.
Which is all the more reason that you fear for your life now that you’ve run out of options for his birthday present. He’d never let you hear the end of it, and you can only imagine how a vengeful and spiteful Seokjin might be compared to his normal self.
You sigh dejectedly, closing your last book and shoving it across your living room floor. “This is my fault for forgetting,” you say, rubbing your temples with a grimace. Of all the times your forgetfulness could fail you, you certainly would have hoped that this would not be one of the times when it did. You must remember to ask Namjoon to restock the ingredients needed to make more head clarity potions, though you suppose you might end up forgetting to do that as well.
Every potion in your arsenal of knowledge just wouldn’t work out for Seokjin, or at least you think so. The potions are either too useless or too useful, with the latter being a bigger problem. As much as you like to tease Seokjin for his hamster-sized brain, he did have his cunning moments. You dread to wonder what type of mischief he might come up with should you give him, say, a 24-hour luck potion.
“Though I suppose he wouldn’t be able to take over the world in 24 hours… Could he?” Even as you say it, you know in your heart of hearts that he absolutely can and will. Fucking bastard that he is.
With no other options viable to you, you did have one last trick up your sleeve. You might even say this option is worse than a 24-hour luck potion, though you will be making sure that he has adult supervision while he, erm, utilizes this gift of yours. This last-minute gift idea of yours is famous amongst your circle of friends, mostly because you do have a penchant for forgetting numerous birthdays and anniversaries in the past.
You’re usually quick to resort to this last-minute gift whenever you forget someone’s birthday, as you trust that your friends would never misuse your kindness in any way. But like most things, Seokjin is a different case entirely. As you have mentioned before, Seokjin… has ways of getting whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Added with the fact that you were unquestionably whipped for his hamster ass, he most often can get you to do things that aren’t what most would consider being “morally sound.” You may love him, but you certainly don’t trust him.
Long story short, you are slightly terrified of giving him ten wishes for his birthday. Ten wishes that will allow him to ask you to do anything for him, as long as they’re within your abilities of course. If anyone were to find out that you were even considering offering wishes to Seokjin, much less ten wishes, you are sure that they would throttle you for the premeditated mass destruction of the human population.
Which is why you’re going to have to make some rules for the little rodent, and hope to all the deities up above that he doesn’t find a loophole of sorts. Hopefully.
It’s nearing 9:30 AM when you manage to muster up enough courage to tiptoe noiselessly into his room, not bothering to knock as you know that he will most likely ignore you. Your heart pangs when you see him curled up into a ball in his bed, still in his human form as you had not been able to transform him back into a hamster before he had stormed off the night before. He has his back turned away from the door, but you know he’s awake when you hear his muffled sniffles. Your previous trepidation is replaced with guilt immediately, causing you to lower your head in shame.
“Seokjin? Sweetie?” You say his name hesitantly, unsurprised when the shifter refuses to look at you. You pad softly towards his bed, your knee digging into the soft mattress but not daring to come closer. You want desperately to cuddle with him in bed, always having appreciated his higher body temperature, especially during the colder months.
“I’m so sorry for forgetting your birthday, Seokjinnie. I know I’m a big fool for forgetting such an important day, but I really hope you can forgive me,” your voice grows softer the more you speak, dropping to a whisper by the end of your sentence. The room is silent, save for the sound of Seokjin’s breathing and your rapidly beating heart. Your mouth feels like sandpaper when you continue, “I know this might not make it up to you entirely, but I do have a gift that I want to share with you.”
At the mention of the word “gift,” you can see the way the small hamster ears perched on his head start to twitch. You smile secretively to yourself, knowing that you finally got his attention. “Come on, sweetie. Don’t you want to know what your present is?”
With a loud sigh, Seokjin rolls over to face you, his cheeks blotchy with tear stains and dried snot. You nearly cry out at the sight, but you keep your guilt to yourself, now more eager than ever to right your wrongs. You hate seeing him cry, most especially when it is you who had made him shed those tears.
“You got me a gift?” His voice is hoarse, but his curiosity is plain as day.
You nod happily, clapping your hands with excitement. “Yup! I know this will be the first time Seokjinnie is celebrating his birthday with me, so I thought long and hard about this—” a complete lie, but he doesn’t have to know that, “—and I thought it would be great if I gave you ten wishes for your birthday!”
There is a pause. In lieu of a response, Seokjin just sits up in bed, pushing off his blankets and blinking rapidly at you in disbelief. He rubs his eyes once, twice, but it still seems like he can’t believe what he’s seeing (and hearing). His mouth opens and closes, before finally saying, “Excuse me?”
You arch a brow, slightly confused as to why Seokjin seemed so astonished. “What? Do you not want ten wishes for your birthday?”
Seokjin shakes his head, looking like a possessed bobblehead with how quickly he moves. “No, of course I do! I just… You trust me enough to make ten wishes? Me?”
You cringe. “Well, trust is a strong word…”
“I knew it!” Seokjin scoffs, pointing at you accusingly. He flops back onto the bed, a deep pout on his face. “My ten wishes are probably gonna be stuff like ‘No cooking duties for a month!’ or something equally as lame.”
You roll your eyes. “Well, yes that could be one of your wishes if you so desired. But no, you can ask for fun stuff too.”
Seokjin raises a finger. “Oh really? Then how about—”
“No wishes that will allow you to attain world domination,” you interrupt, watching amusedly when he immediately deflates.
“Aww,” Seokjin mutters, dropping his finger. A second later, he raises the same finger again. “Then—”
“And no bodily augmentations as well,” you add.
Seokjin looks down at his crotch dejectedly. “Aww!” Seokjin repeats. ”Then what else am I supposed to ask for?!”
You shrug, tapping your chin. “Well, is there anything else in that empty skull of yours that you might want? There should be something you want that you can’t have.”
For a moment, Seokjin’s expression turns cloudy, like he usually does when he’s thinking deeply about something. It might have been the trick of the morning light, but you swear he gives you a quick once over, tongue poking out to wet his chapped lips. “I have an idea,” he says, voice low.
You feel your palms begin to sweat, unused to the dark look on Seokjin’s face. Anticipation fills you as you both stare at each other, neither willing to back down. “Y-yes?” you say, suddenly nervous to hear his response.
He smirks, tilting his head with contemplation. “I want…”
What? What do you want? You squeeze your fists unknowingly, forcibly keeping yourself from squeezing other parts of your body. Could it be..? No…
“Seokjin—”
“I want to beat Jeon Jungkook in a spicy noodle challenge. Just once in my fucking life!” Seokjin hollers, punching his pillow in the midst of his unexpected fury. His eyes are blazing, cheeks puffed up due to his unbridled hamster-y rage. “That little bunny bitch! Thinks he’s hot shit just because he can eat two more cups of spicy ramen more than me? Well, I want him to finally get a taste of his own medicine!”
You feel your shoulders sag in relief, wondering where on earth your brain had been going just a moment ago. “You… You want to get a spice resistance potion? Yeah, I can do that for you. Give me a second,” you say, dashing out of his room like your ass is on fire, afraid that he might notice the blush dusting the tops of your ears. You mentally slap yourself, biting the insides of your cheeks to keep from strangling yourself. Keep it together, Y/N. Remember how much of an idiot he is and you’ll be fine… Just don’t think too hard about it.
Lucky for Seokjin, spice resistance potions are quick enough to make and it only takes you 10 minutes to cork the finished concoction for him. You scurry back to his bedroom, about to hand the small vial over to him when the words get caught in your throat. You’re momentarily paralyzed by the sight of his naked back, his ocean-wide broad shoulders on full display for your wandering eyes to feast on. Naked Seokjin isn’t even a rare occurrence in your household, but it doesn’t get easier to witness even as the days go by. In fact, you guess it only gets harder for you, pun intended.
Thankfully (or unthankfully), Seokjin slips on a clean shirt before turning to you, his expression lighting up when he sees you (with your mouth still fully agape) with the potion in hand. “Nice one, Y/N!” He takes the vial from you, peering at the minty green color with glee. “Oh damn, when I see that little shithead, he’s not gonna know what hit him!”
“Are you gonna go challenge him today?”
He shakes his head. “Nah. I’d rather spend my birthday doing other things. Plus, I already have better ideas for the remaining nine wishes I have left.”
“Such as?”
He pats your head a little condescendingly, a devious smirk playing on his lips. “No need to worry your little head, Y/N. You don’t even need to work for four wishes, because I know for a fact that you have these potions in your stock,” he says, laughing maniacally as he scampers off to your basement storage.
“Seokjin!” You call out to him, wondering not for the first time how he always manages to outrun you despite doing nothing all day except eat sunflower seeds and play videogames all day. Though you assume it might have to do with his rodent DNA, as the little shit always did manage to slip from your fingers when you’re strangling holding him in his tiny furry form.
When you get to your cellar, you find him rummaging through your stores and softly humming a tune as he takes his time sorting through your potions. You try to peek over his shoulders to see what he’s doing, but it’s a lost cause as his entire frame somehow manages to block your entire view. Fuck him and his doorframe shoulders.
“Hey, I heard that!” Seokjin says, making you realize belatedly that you did say it out loud—not that you particularly cared if he heard. You’ve thought and said worse, plus he knows it. He thrives on being an asshole.
“Can you at least tell me what you want? I can find them for you too, as long as they aren’t… too dangerous,” you say the last part skeptically, not knowing what is categorized as “dangerous” when it comes to him. For all you know, he could somehow find a way to kill a man with a healing potion.
“No, no. I got it. Here,” he hands you a medium-sized vial filled with a colorless liquid. When you turn the bottle over, you see that you labeled it as one of your hair color changing mood potions, a popular novelty potion that you sold to kids at the market sometimes.
“Why on earth would you want this?” You snort. “Let me guess… You want to feed this to Yoongi so that you can anticipate whenever he’s about to scratch your eyeballs?”
“Close, but not quite! I want you to drink it,” Seokjin says, poking his head out of the cupboard to give you a quick smile. He winks at you, which you do not return. “Come on then. Drink up!”
You squint at him incredulously. When he doesn’t seem to be joking, you exclaim, “Hold on. Why on earth do you want me to drink this?”
But Seokjin has already shoved his head back into the cupboard, the sound of bottles clinking together nearly drowning out his voice as he struggles to find the other potions he’s looking for. “No particular reason! I just never see you with crazy hair colors and I always wondered how you’d look like in pink. I think it’d suit you.”
You flush darkly in response, stammering loudly at his brazenness. “But pink is the color for…” You trail off, embarrassment short-circuiting your brain. No way he could mean… that, could he?!
“Pink is for happiness, right?” Seokjin says after a moment, not noticing your awkward demeanor as he finally exits the cupboard, three other bottles cradled carefully in his arms. He closes the wooden door with his foot, walking out of the cellar with his prizes and not bothering to check if your dumbfounded self is following suit.
It takes a second for you to snap out of your stupor, yelping when he nearly slams the basement door on your face. “No, you idiot! Yellow is for happiness! Oh Merlin, you nearly gave me a heart attack,” you curse, treading closely on his heels.
Seokjin looks at you with confusion, but he thankfully doesn’t ask what specific mood the color pink represents. “Well, I guess you’re gonna have to live with yellow hair all day.”
“And why is that?” you say lamely.
“Because I’ll get to see how happy you are to be with me! After all, I am so incredibly handsome,” Seokjin laughs haughtily. He waits for you to open the door back to the house, his resounding laughter sounding even louder when you both enter, given the acoustics of your home.
“Then I guess my hair will be blue all day instead,” you scoff, pinching him lightly in the side.
“Oh? Because you’re sad that you can’t be as pretty as me? Understandable,” he nods sagely. “Or perhaps you’ll turn green with envy because you can’t be as pretty as me? Or even orange with fear, because you can’t be as pretty as—”
After living with him for so long, you’ve long since developed the ability to mute him out without needing to plug your ears with anything. It’s a necessary skill that you pride yourself in having, as it allows you to live in peace with the insufferable twat. You pity anyone who has ever had to live with him for an extended period of time; dear Merlin, you hope to meet his mother someday, as she must have been incredibly powerful to birth such a beast into existence and raise him willingly, too.
“Hey, are you listening to me? Are you muting me again? ON MY BIRTHDAY? Stop that!” Seokjin whines, poking you in the cheek. You startle slightly, pointing him with an annoyed look.
“Sorry, your highness. Does that count as one of your wishes? Because I honestly don’t think I can handle listening to you ALL DAY. I may be a talented witch, but even I don’t think that’s within my capabilities.”
Seokjin rolls his eyes, sticking his tongue out petulantly. “Whatever. Just drink the potion already, will you? Or would you rather I ask for a mind-reading potion instead?”
That shut you up quickly. You shudder at the thought of Seokjin with any sort of telepathic powers. You don’t consider yourself a saint, but you feel as though it’s your duty to keep him away from any sort of power. The world should thank you for your service, honestly.
Without further ado, you pop the cork off the bottle, downing the plasticky tasting potion in one big gulp. “Ugh. I don’t know why kids love this stuff. Tastes like shit.” You grimace, rushing to your kitchen to grab a glass of water.
On your way there, you notice your hair color begins to change from the mirror you keep above the kitchen sink. Your roots are starting to gain a light brown color, the default shade of the potion, but the color quickly drains out as you take your first sip of water. By the time the terrible taste is out of your tongue, your hair has turned completely gray. You finger your tresses, staring at its unnatural steeliness. “Well, at least we know it works. Gray means neutral if I remember correctly.”
“Damn, so this is how you’d look when you turn 50. Would still bang, not gonna lie,” Seokjin whistles, narrowly missing a jab to the stomach from you.
“No one asked for your opinion,” you retort hotly, hoping to the heavens that your hair isn’t changing color again.
Judging from Seokjin’s smirk, your prayers are useless. He cards a hand through your hair, admiring its new color. “Oh, interesting! Purple is for embarrassment, right? Wow, this is gonna be much more fun than I would have imagined!”
“A-anyway,” you slap his hand away, taking a step away from him to keep him from seeing your burning face (though it’s not like you hadn’t already been exposed anyway. Stupid magic potion.) You point to the three remaining bottles he had stolen from your basement, eager to divert the conversation away from the topic of your vulnerable emotions. “What about these? What on earth would you need—” You turn one of the bottles upside down, reading the label. “An illusion potion? Oh Seokjin, I don’t know about this one…”
Seokjin groans. “Oh, come on! The only rules you had were no world domination and no body augmentation, but you never said anything about fake body augmentation!”
“Trust you to find a loophole in any given circumstance,” you sigh, rubbing your temples in a futile attempt to stall the incoming migraine (too late for that, given that the personified version of a headache happens to live with you.) “Okay, fine. Tell me what you’re gonna use it for and then I’ll decide.”
“Simple,” Seokjin snaps his fingers. He trails his hands to his ass, squeezing the globes of fat with a sad sigh. “I want people to think I have an ass thicker than Park Jimin’s.”
For some indiscernible, unconnected reason, you feel as though one of the blood vessels in your brain just popped. In any case, having a stroke might be a better fate than continuing to live in the same universe as the withered toenail in front of you. “I beg you to repeat that sentence. Think about your words first, really grasp their true meaning. Try to remember what it’s like to have functioning brain cells. Then try to repeat your words with a straight face.”
“I. Want. People. To. Think. I. Have. An. Ass. Thicker. Than. Park. Jimin’s.” Seokjin repeats, his expression as flat as his ass. “Are you happy now? Will you grant my wish, please? You said no bodily augmentations, so having the illusion that I have thick ass should be perfectly acceptable, is it not?”
“I rue the day you learned to speak the human language.” You sigh irritably, pocketing the offending potion. When Seokjin begins to protest, you silence him with a quick glare. “Don’t worry, you fucking moron. I’m only allowing you to use this potion with my supervision and I simply don’t have the time to watch you bump bubble butts with the local village thot right now,” you explain.
Seokjin nods, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “Indeed… I will need your assistance when I walk into town once everyone sees me with my ass shots and tiddies done. The people will simply devour me in an instant.”
“Are you aware that every moment you breathe, you are poisoning the air with your toxic presence?” you say with a deadpan stare. Ignoring his indignant squawks, you take a look at the two remaining bottles. “Alright. Please fucking tell me these are at least slightly sensible choices…”
“If there’s anything I know after living with you, it’s that our definitions of ‘sensible’ vary greatly between us,” Seokjin says, and for once you couldn’t agree more. He takes the last two bottles, turning them over to show you the labels underneath. “They’re luck and truth potions, each with a dose worth one hour. And before you say anything,” Seokjin beats you to the punch, holding a finger up when it looks like you’re about to protest, “These aren’t for me.”
You scrunch your brow in confusion, not quite following his logic. “What? Then what’s the point?”
Seokjin’s grin is mischievous, the twinkle in his eye sending a shiver down your spine. You’re familiar with that look, as it’s the same kind of expression he has whenever he plans to do something incredibly stupid, like eating uncooked noodles before pouring boiling water down his throat in order to eat instant ramen faster. You’ve been at the victim of too many of his ridiculous schemes to not know that whatever he is planning can’t be innocent.
“It’s simple, my dear Y/N. This is all part of my ingenious master plan that I thought of ten minutes ago,” Seokjin explains, tittering haughtily like some poorly designed video game villain. “Hold the applause, because my plan is going to rock your socks off.”
“I’m not even wearing any socks.”
“Then my plan will put socks on you, my dear. That’s how incredible it is,” Seokjin says, undeterred. “So basically, we’re finally going to get Yoongi and Namjoon to fuck.”
Seokjin pauses for dramatic effect, waving his hands around like a magician would, except the only magical act he’s ever performed was to be born as the first-ever living creature without a functioning brain. “Well?” he prompts, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “Are you not going to ask me how I’m going to do it?”
Your expression morphs from confusion, to incredulity, to frustration, to acceptance all in five seconds flat. You’ve long since realized that it’s easier not to ask too many questions for the sake of your mental health, though you suppose it might be important to ask a few questions, mostly for the sake of your friends’ safety. You’ve lost enough acquaintances as it is, all because your familiar with rocks for brains wouldn’t know decency if you shoved it up his ass.
(PS: No, they aren’t dead, but they’ve told you that Seokjin makes them feel like death anyway. That’s just the sort of effect he has on people.)
“Fine, I’ll bite. What’s your ingenious plan to get Yoongi and Namjoon to fuck entail?” you ask, gritting your teeth in preparation to withstand the pure, unadulterated strength of his dumbassery.
“Well firstly, I need the luck potion to win rock, paper, scissors against Yoongi,” Seokjin starts, smirking at the thought. “It’s been my dream to beat him at the game, as the score right now between the two of us is 349 to null in his favor—”
“That’s just because you always play paper. Consistently. You never use scissors or rock,” you deadpan.
Seokjin gasps, holding a finger up to your lips to silence you. “I am above using rocks! I am no barbarian! And do you think I’d ever use scissors? That is just one step away from me throwing up a peace sign like some sort of weeb!” Seokjin retorts, nose upturned in the air. You struggle to keep your fists by your sides, the itch to punch him in his perfectly sculpted nose growing by the second.
“Regardless, I intend to win this time,” Seokjin continues. “And I will make him take the truth potion as my prize for winning so that he may finally confess his feelings for Namjoon and end their five-year-long mutual suffering.”
“Don’t you mean mutual pining?”
“Same thing,” Seokjin shrugs. “You and I both know that those two idiots will continue to skirt around each other like teenagers who only just realized that their penises can be used in different ways other than for pissing. They’ve been in love with each other for far too long and I intend to be the cupid that brings those two together.”
“Why must you phrase things like that,” you sigh, not really asking with the intent of hearing an answer. You’ve been asking him the same question for months now, and have yet to receive an answer that isn’t “because I can!”
“So does that mean you’ll let me use the luck and truth potions?” Seokjin asks, his lip jutted out in what he probably presumes is a cute manner, but all it does is make him look like his bottom lip got stung by a hornet. (Still kinda cute though, you think to yourself.)
After taking another five seconds to deeply access the state of your life, you sigh tiredly, feeling weary beyond your years. Figures that he would notice the attraction between your two best friends, but still remains oblivious to your own feelings.
“Fine,” you acquiesce, crossing your arms in an attempt to look annoyed. You aren’t doing a very good job, however, as you try not to smile at Seokjin’s unabashed excitement. Fuck him for being so adorable when he’s happy. Why couldn’t he be excited over more normal things, like R-18 video games or hentai?
You clear your throat, stopping his celebration. “Do you really want to spend your birthday getting Namjoon and Yoongi to get together though? Pardon me for saying this, but I seriously didn’t think you’d want to help them.”
“Why not?”
“You always seemed a little too enthusiastic whenever the two of them were being...” you pause, stuck on the word you want to use.
“Super stupidly horny for each other? Yeah, I admit that I do enjoy watching Namjoon getting a boner whenever Yoongi does that weird cat thing,” he says, shrugging.
“Weird cat thing? You mean when he stretches and his entire torso grows twice as long?”
“Precisely!” Seokjin claps his hands, grinning ear to ear. “It’s super gross and weirdly cute! I don’t know how Namjoon finds that even remotely horny-inducing. Must be a cat person thing.”
You shake your head, unwilling to think deeper about the psychological mechanisms of your friends. “Besides the point. Do you want to head over to Namjoon’s place now? They invited us for dinner tomorrow to celebrate your birthday anyway, so we can always do this next time, or…”
“Hell no,” Seokjin is quick to interject, knowing that you're just trying to weasel your way out of being an accomplice in his ill-planned hijinks. Your shoulders slump in defeat. "You are not getting out of this. We are doing this today before either of us forget! C'mon, it won't take that long."
"That's what I was afraid you'd say," you grumble. "But fine. Just gimme a sec to get ready," you point at Seokjin's ahegao printed pajamas with disgust, "—and you should probably change out your clothes too."
Seokjin looks down at his clothes with a confused expression. "What's wrong with my PJs?"
"I think the more important question is what's wrong with you," you reply, stalking off to your bedroom. You smile secretly to yourself when you hear his squawks of offense.
As you hadn't gotten sleep the night before, you only just notice that you're still wearing yesterday's clothes on your back, the sweat after hours of worrying about what to get Seokjin making your shirt stick grossly to your armpits. You strip off quickly, doing your best to freshen up and look semi-decent (though there isn't much of a need; you've been friends with Namjoon long enough that he's seen you at your worst.)
You pass by your dresser, seeing your reflection in the mirror. Your hair color is shifting from yellow to brown at a rapid pace, making it appear as though you'd been the victim of a terrible dye job.
"I'm a victim, for sure..." you mutter to yourself, fingering your multi-colored locks. The brown color is for annoyance, which shouldn't be much of a surprise to anyone, but the yellow? Happiness isn’t exactly the word you’d describe your emotions right now. And also, do your eyes deceive you? Is there a patch of pink appearing just at the crown of your head?
“No, no… This is no good at all.” You force yourself to think of sad thoughts, trying desperately for the colors to change—but to no avail. Luckily, that hamster bastard doesn't remember what pink means, or else you'd definitely be screwed, and maybe not even in the good way.
You sigh tiredly, slumping over onto your bed when the fatigue from the day finally hits you. “It’s only morning, and I already want to die. Must be a record,” you snort in exasperation, watching as the tips of your hair turn black in response. “Wow, thanks magic. No one would have guessed I was tired unless you said so,” you mutter sarcastically.
You never thought that you were much of a tsundere, but you're starting to understand the appeal. People knowing your emotions so easily is disconcerting, to say the least. You'd rather die than let Seokjin know that his stupid little antics actually do make you happy, since spending time with him doing pretty much anything is always a good time. It's just... someone has to hold the brain cell in the relationship, and you never would have expected that you'd be the wielder majority of the time.
When you step out back into the living room feeling more refreshed, Seokjin is ready to go. Which is to say, he hasn't moved a single inch from where he was standing just ten minutes ago.
"You bitch! I told you to get dressed," you snap. You pull him by the ear, making the 179 cm adult man whine like a little baby. "Take your clothes off!"
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he wheezes, still grimacing from the throbbing pain from where you had tugged his lobe. He tries to wink at you but fails tremendously. He looks like he’s having a funky lil seizure instead. "Just transform me into my animal form and let me ride in your pocket. It's too cold out to walk! You know how sensitive my nipples are! They turn into ping pong balls when it's winter."
"I don't care. Please stop using me as your personal taxi service; you've shat in the pockets of two of my coats already," you grumble, but your pleas remain unheard. He pouts, and your feeble willpower disintegrates immediately at the sight. You sigh, "But since it's your birthday, I won't complain about it this time."
"You literally just complained though?"
You ignore him. You outstretch your finger, ready to boop. "Alright, gimme your nose, wench."
Instead of coming closer as you expected, Seokjin just gives you a contemplative look. Never a good sign. "Actually, that gives me an idea..."
"Oh, dear Merlin. Not another one of those. Please spare me," you groan.
"This one is easy though!" Seokjin tuts, bonking you on the head. You hear something click in the back of your skull, but now is not the time to ponder about such trivialities. He continues, "Instead of my nose being my transformation point... Do you think you could—"
"I am not making your penis your transformation point," you interrupt.
"—make my butt my transformation point? Wait, hold on, nevermind. I think I like your idea better," Seokjin jumps in excitement, but his mirth dies when he sees your unimpressed stare. "Okay, fine. No penis touching. But butts! You touch my butt all the time anyway! It shouldn't be that different."
"Yeah, but I only touch your ass so often because you beg me to punch and massage it in hopes of it becoming bigger. Which, by the way, isn't a real thing. You should do squats instead or something."
Seokjin gasps, scandalized. "Me? Working out? Please, that's as improbable as Yoongi turning into a regular-sized person!"
"I'm telling Yoongi you said that," you roll your eyes. "And to answer your question, no I won't switch your transformation point to your—" Wait, hold the phone. That gives you an idea. A glorious plan, something that might finally teach him a lesson.
No way in hell he would fall for that, though, you think idly to yourself. You’d be too obvious! Unless..?
"What is it?" Seokjin asks, confused when you suddenly stop speaking. He gazes curiously at the way your eyes are glazed over, concerned when he sees the way the corners of your lips twitch slightly. "What's up with you?"
You snap out of your reverie, your mischievous thought quickly cementing itself in your mind. Seokjin may be a chaotic shithead, but so are you. No one can endure living with Kim Seokjin for long without gaining a few shithead genes in the process, and you're no exception. This will teach him to be a little more conscientious, you hope. It's a pipedream, but as they say... Reach for the moon, and if you miss, then at least you'll get swallowed up by a black hole and turn into spaghetti.
"Nothing. Just had a thought, thot." You whistle innocently, barely holding down your grin when Seokjin stares at you suspiciously. Fortunately, your hair color hasn't given you away. To be fair, you didn't know light blue was the color for being a jackass either; you learn something new every day. "Nevermind that. I changed my mind. I'll grant your wish. After all, it is your birthday."
"That's right!" Seokjin exclaims, but there's a note of uncertainty and nervousness in his tone. He squints at you, pursing his lips. "Aha... Of course, it's only right that you give me what I want. It's what you promised, after all."
"Yes, yes... What Seokjin wants, Seokjin gets..." You trail off, your mind preoccupied as you hurriedly go over to your kitchen cupboard. You aren't sure if you kept them or not, so it takes you a few moments of sifting through all the bottles of herbs before you find it in the back, where it has gained a thin layer of dust all over it. You wipe it off, humming in victory when you see that it's exactly what you need.
You take a quick look at the bottom of the bottle, pleased to see that Namjoon had forgotten to label it, like always. But you remember what it is, even though you've never really quite needed to use this particular herb. He had given it to you as a strange novelty item a long time ago: it was an ingredient for obscure potions that were never really ordered at regular magical apothecaries, which is why it had remained untouched in your cupboard until today.
By itself, it has strong magical properties too, or rather... You suppose it would be more accurate to call them side effects. It has an incredibly confounding side effect that some might consider dangerous, which is why it's important to handle this herb with the proper protective equipment. Not that Seokjin would know that, of course.
"Here," you say, handing over the innocuous-looking bottle to Seokjin. He peers at it, turning it over to look for the nonexistent label.
"What is this? Weed?" he murmurs, popping the lid open and taking a tentative sniff. "Doesn't smell like it," he says, raising a brow in confusion. You let out a small giggle, but thankfully, he doesn't notice your slip up.
"Nah, it's called the Baliktad herb. I remember that Namjoon had given it to me ages ago, and it's coincidentally something you can use to... transfer magic from one body part to another." You choose your words carefully, though it's not like you're lying, anyway. Vagueness is the first step in deceit, after all.
"Really? How does it work?"
"Simple! All you have to do is grind some of the herbs into a powder, mix it with some water to form a paste, then rub it on your nose and your butt. Wait a few seconds and poof!"
Seokjin nods, intrigued. "Wow, I've never heard of this thing before. Are there other uses for this? Say, what if I rubbed some of it on my dick instead—"
"Oh shut the fuck up and give me that," you grab the bottle back, glaring at his impish face. "You know what? I can't trust you to administer it on yourself. Lemme make the paste and I'll rub it on you."
"That sounds hot," Seokjin winks, barely dodging your kick to his nuts. "Hey, hey! Feet off the prize, darling! My balls are where the ladies get their babies."
To stop yourself from screaming, you keep your mouth shut this once. Besides, you're too excited for what you're about to do to him, so keeping silent is a small price to pay. All of it will be worth when you finally give him a taste of his own medicine. Or rather, a smell of his own medicine.
When you finish grinding the herb into a paste, you clear your throat, gesturing for Seokjin to sit on the couch. "Alright, let me put some on your honker first before I get to your ass. And no, you better not make some 'ass is grass' joke."
Seokjin visibly deflates. "Hey, what the fuck? You stole my joke before I even said it! I guess that's soulmate culture for you," he sighs dreamily, before yelping loudly when you shove two gloved fingers up his nostrils. "Hey! What was that for!"
"Oh, sorry," you apologize unapologetically. "I was just worried that if I slathered it on top of your nose, I might accidentally trigger your transformation, so I took the safer route it jammed it up your nostrils instead."
"Whatever happened to a gentlelady's touch..." he whines, scowling petulantly at you. "Wait, if you're gonna jam it up my nostrils, then does that you're also gonna jam it up my—"
Before he can finish his sentence, you push him down onto his stomach, kneeling on his back and literally stealing his breath away. "Aight, rat. I'm shoving your pants down now," you warn gruffly. He makes a winded sound, probably a snarky response that would have made you slap his nuts. Fortunately, your legs were currently crushing his windpipe and leaving him incapable of speaking.
It's funny how you’ve become numb to the sight of his naked ass at this point. Once upon a time, you had blushed constantly at the sight of his sweet cheeks, making for an awkward first two months of living together. Every time you close your eyes, the two globes would be imprinted underneath your lids, haunting you. Nowadays, you'd be more concerned if he wasn't wearing his signature "God Won't Let Me Die" booty shorts.
Also, despite what he says, he isn't completely assless. He has a substantial amount of cake, certainly nothing to scoff at. You grumble and moan about "having" to massage his ass, but honestly? Who wouldn't want to grab his ass? You might be stupid, but you aren't an idiot.
“The salve is going to be cold, by the way,” you warn, though it’s useless to say at this point since he already experienced it when you shoved up his nose just two minutes ago. Whatever.
Unlike then, you are much gentler applying the salve on his butt this time, mostly out of fear that 1) you'd accidentally penetrate his asshole with your finger like that one time (don't ask), or 2) you'd massage his butt like you know he wants you to.
“Harder, mommy,” he fake moans, wiggling his ass. You almost slap him on instinct, but think better of it.
"I hate that you're such a... debauched cretin," you say, tenderly rubbing his ass with a scowl. If any bystander were to see you, they'd might have thought you were his kind girlfriend rubbing medicine on a bruise or massaging your poor fatigued boyfriend. One might have even thought you were rubbing him a little bit too sensually, but little do people know... You were playing a stupid little prank on your dumbass familiar that may or may not cause him to beat you up (not that it would be much of a punishment to you, anyway. They don’t write romances like these anymore, huh?)
He taps you on the thigh, and you guess that he’s probably having difficulty breathing from your weight on his back. Feeling kinda bad for him, you shift your legs over, choosing to straddle him instead. However, the regret from your decision comes instantaneously the moment he regains his breath.
"You love me, though. You think I'm funny," Seokjin replies, albeit his voice is still a little strained under your weight. "You think I'm cute, too."
Yeah, you do. "I think your hamster form is cute. Get that shit out of your head," you scoff, but your heated cheeks betray you.
“I can’t see you right now, but I bet your hair is an insane shade of purple, isn’t it?” he teases, wiggling like a worm to express his glee.
“Fuck you,” you grouse. You slap his thigh twice in retribution: the first one for teasing you, and the second one for pretending to moan after you had slapped him the first time.
He was only half-right about your hair, anyway. You catch a glimpse of your pastel purple and pink hair from the corner of your eye, alarmingly visible for all to see. Honestly, it doesn’t take a lot of brainpower to figure out what pink actually means, most especially since you have never been subtle with your affections for him. After all, not everyone has the patience to keep up with his antics. The fact that you haven’t squashed him into a tiny hamster pancake is proof enough that you really do love him.
I mean, who else would give Kim Seokjin ten wishes on his birthday? That's giving him way too much power that no one should be comfortable with. Just goes to show that maybe like attracts like, sometimes. You must be a little crazy too, you suppose.
He’s never caught on to your feelings, however, as he probably thinks you’re more like an annoying younger sister or something. After all, you bicker with him more than anything else, but that’s just how it is on this bitch of an earth.
Luckily or unluckily for you, Seokjin doesn’t comment on your hair color when he sits up after you finish rubbing the herbs onto his gooch. He’s much too busy wrinkling his nose in confusion, his forehead scrunching as the herbs are presumably starting to take effect.
“How am I supposed to know when the herbs work?” he asks, scratching his nose. The salve has dried out considerably, turning more into flecks that fall off when he disturbs it. So now, it looks like he has disgusting leathery boogers hanging out from his nostrils. Somehow, he makes it work anyway.
“Oh, you’ll know,” you respond vaguely, smiling when you can tell that Seokjin’s suspicions are beginning to grow. “Want me to test it out?”
Seokjin nods, leaning closer and presenting you with his nose. You tap him gently on the tip (lol), both of you waiting for the scent of caramel and mint to signal his shift. When nothing comes, Seokjin gasps in elation, clapping his hands gleefully as he bounces up and down in his seat.
“Holy shit, I can’t believe that worked! I was so sure you were gonna prank me… I overestimated you,” he says haughtily, pointing his stupid nose up in the air. He guffaws, standing up and wagging his ass at you smugly. “C’mon, then! Slap my ass and let’s see if it really works!”
You don’t move immediately, disappointed when the actual effect of the herb doesn’t seem to be working. You pout, observing him skeptically. “Wait, hold on. Are you sure you don’t feel weird?”
His victory hoots come to an abrupt halt. “No? Why would I be?”
“Don’t you… smell anything odd?”
Seokjin looks at you weirdly. “No? Unless you count not smelling my transformation scent, then—wait, just a second.” He freezes up, sniffing the air with a disgusted expression on his face. “Shit, you’re right! There’s something super funky in the air. You didn’t fuck up my sense of smell or something, did you?”
“Nope,” you say, popping your p. Your smirk grows, breathy giggles escaping you. “Say, can you describe what you’re smelling?”
“Oh Merlin, it’s terrible! It smells like shit? Like fucking… like ass or something!” He grimaces, sticking his tongue out as he is assaulted by the stench that only he can smell. “What the fuck is that? Oh my fucking word…”
You’re breaking into full out laughter at this point, nearly falling over onto the floor from the strength of your mirth. You barely hear Seokjin’s squawks of bewilderment, ignoring his demands to tell him what you had done to him.
“I can’t believe it worked,” you wheeze, hunched over on your knees. You’re spraying spit everywhere from your hysterics, though you are exaggerating your delight a little just to piss Seokjin off. You point and scream at his face, hollering like a banshee until he finally grabs your wrists to make you stop.
“Out with it! What the hell did you do to me?” he shouts, shaking you roughly with unhinged eyes.
It takes you a moment to respond, unable to breathe through your giggles. “You—you’re fucking—smelling your own—wheeze—your own ass!”
Seokjin stares at you, dumbfounded. “What?!”
“Your—HAHA—your fucking ass! I switched your nose to your ass, you idiot! Just like you asked!”
Seokjin’s jaw drops, complete bafflement and betrayal on his expression. He backs away from you, shaking his head slowly with bugged-out eyes as he begins to fully understand the weight of your treachery. “You,” he seethes, venom dripping from that singular word. He sounds like a pet owner about to scold their dumbass cat for eating his prized plastic big booby women figurines or something.
You grin sweetly back at him, batting your eyelashes for extra effect. “Me? What about me?”
You don’t even have the reflexes to dodge him when he lunges for you, grabbing your neck and strangling you. “You bitch! How could you do this to me on my birthday!”
“Hehehe…” you wheeze, sounding even more goblin-ish with his grip on your throat. “You underestimated me, bastard. You asked for your ass to become your transformation point, and I did. You never said I couldn’t make transfer your sense of smell, too.”
“I didn’t ask you to make me smell my own ass! This is fucking garbage!” he yells, letting you go. You gasp for breath, but you’re still shaking with laughter at the absolutely deranged look in his eyes. He looks like an ape that was recently set free from his enclosure and out onto the streets.
“That’s what you get for not wiping your ass, then!” you retort, sticking your tongue out petulantly.
“Well, we can’t go to Namjoon’s house when all I can smell is my own fucking ass! Merlin, I should’ve downed the luck potion when you left to get changed, but I wanted to be A GOOD PERSON and so decided against it,” he sniffs, utterly irked by this turn of events. “I’m never going to be a moral person again!”
“When have you ever been one? I wasn’t even aware you had a conscience,” you say. “Wait, that reminds me. I’ll be taking these until we go to Namjoon’s, then!” You grab the luck and truth potions, keeping them behind your back. Seokjin immediately tries to grab them, but you’re quick to punch him in the gut with your free hand.
“Ooph! You’re such a meanie—aw shit!” Seokjin screams, holding his hands to his nose instinctively. “Fuck! That was a dirty move! You know hitting my stomach makes me fart! I can’t even cover my nose!”
“Hey, maybe for your next wish, you should ask for some cake. Then maybe we can recreate the cake farts video,” you suggest, mostly as a joke. But of course, you shouldn’t have been surprised when Seokjin starts to seriously contemplate your offer.
“Hmm… I was gonna ask for cake next, but now you’re making me really want cake now,” he hums, shrugging you off when you hit him in retaliation. “What? Why do you keep hitting me?! You’re the one who said it, not me! We might as well turn lemons into lemonade!”
“It was a fucking joke, you moron! I’m seriously going to eat you if you don’t stop being weird—”
“Oh shit, how do you keep reading my mind? Vore was gonna be my next wish too—”
“Shut up!” you hiss, your ears perking up. “I think I heard something from outside.”
You were both so busy bickering with each other that you hadn’t noticed that the doorbell had been ringing for the last minute or so. You both freeze, hearing the shrill sound of the bell going off, followed by three loud knocks. “Hello? Y/N? Are you home?” a familiar voice calls out. “It’s me, Taehyung!”
“Taehyung?” you shriek, staring incredulously at the door. He isn’t meant to visit until the end of the month to pick up refills for his grandfather’s medication. What could he need all of a sudden? “H-hold on! Gimme one sec!”
You’re only two steps away from answering the door when a growl (a squeal? Can hamsters growl?) stops you in your tracks. You slowly turn back to Seokjin, your blood running cold when you remember his blatant dislike for this particular customer. In fact, his aversion towards Taehyung runs so deep that you never allow him to stay in his human form around him lest he begins cursing him out like a sailor.
It doesn’t help, however, that Taehyung only ever sees him in his hamster form and constantly coos at him like a pet. You’ve had to apologize numerous times for the dozens of bites all over his hands and arms, but Taehyung always laughs it off, too oblivious to realize that a two-inch hamster wants to suffocate him with his own mullet.
There seems to be no discernable reason as to why Seokjin loathes Taehyung with such passion, though you’ve always suspected that it’s because he feels threatened by people prettier than him. You’d be the last person to admit to him that he’ll always be the prettiest in your eyes, especially since it would only make him ten times more insufferable.
Until then, Taehyung is just going to have to deal with a murderous, psychotic furball coming for his life.
Aforementioned psychotic furball takes a step towards the front door, but you’re quick to block his path. “Don’t you dare,” you warn, but you can already sense Seokjin’s hackles rising.
“I know what I want for my next wish,” Seokjin responds instead, disregarding your order.
“Overruled. I’m not letting you kick Taehyung in the nuts,” you say, hands poised to attack. You’re about to smack him on the nose when you realize that it’s not going to work this time. “Fuck! Give me your ass! I am not letting you get away with murder for your birthday!”
“I’ll give you my ass next time, darling. For now, I must defeat my sworn enemy, once and for all!” he howls, making a mad dash towards the door. “I’ll kill you, pretty boy! Only one person can be pretty, and it’s going to be me!”
He may be quicker than you on a regular day, but the adrenaline pumping through your veins gives you enough speed to land a loud, fat slap on his ass before he can even think to twist the doorknob open. Seokjin yelps in surprise as he turns towards you with a betrayed look in his eyes, before promptly being swallowed up by pink smoke and leaving an aggressive ball of fur where he once stood.
“Squeak! Squeak squeak squeak squeak!!” he squeaks, and you’ve long since learned his mannerisms well enough that you know that he just said “Y/N! I’ll fucking kill you!!” or something to that effect.
You pick him up gently into your hands, shushing him to no avail. “Fine, if you’re going to be that way—” you hiss, glaring at him when he gives you a haughty squeak. “—then I’ll just have to...yah!” you yell, hucking him across your living room and (safely) onto the couch.
(Caution: Do not do this to your hamsters. Seokjin is a magical hamster and is unnaturally sturdy, even in hamster form. He is an outlier and should not be counted. Plus, he deserves it.)
With Seokjin out of the way, you finally manage to get the door open without trouble. You greet Taehyung with a smile, although you do not doubt in your mind that you must look a bit worse for wear. Like the gentleman that he is, Taehyung doesn’t comment on your haggard appearance.
“Hey, Y/N. Sorry for intruding without notice. May I come in?” he asks. You nod a little too enthusiastically, stepping aside and allowing him into your abode. You glance at the couch, gasping quietly when you don’t see Seokjin anywhere.
“Shit,” you curse lowly, to which Taehyung turns to you with a confused look.
“Pardon?” He must have mistaken your agitation to be directed towards him, as he bows to you apologetically. “Sorry again, you must be busy with other things today, but I’m in desperate need of a refill.”
“A refill?” you ask, semi-distracted as your eyes flit around the room, desperately searching for the small brown ball undoubtedly zipping around right under your nose. “What for? Is your grandfather doing okay?”
“Yes, ol’ pops is doing fine. I’m here to ask for a refill for… the other thing,” he coughs, cheeks darkening ever so slightly. His embarrassed tone breaks you from your search for Seokjin, forcing your gaze on him instead.
“The other thing? What do you mean—oh,” you interrupt yourself, finally understanding his meaning. “That thing.”
Taehyung nods frantically, hiding his face in his hands. “S-sorry, I know I asked for that potion as a one-time thing, but I met this new girl who’s really energetic, and let’s just say that I’m not keen on disappointing her when we’ve only started dating.”
You chuckle lightly, patting him on the back. “No need to explain, Tae. I’m not here to judge you. Besides, I just hope this girl doesn’t accidentally kill you like the previous one. Didn’t you say you went at it for three days straight?”
Taehyung groans, his flush growing until it reaches the back of his neck. “D-don’t even remind me about that! I accidentally took two doses of the potion that time and I was wishing for death by the seventh hour. I swear, I thought my dick was gonna turn into a raisin by the end of it—”
“Squeak!”
You both turn your heads towards the shrill noise coming from somewhere in your kitchen. “Shit, I forgot! T-Tae, just stay right here! I’ll be right back.” You jog towards the source, suddenly remembering that there was a live rodent on the loose with an evil agenda and only you would be able to stop him from fulfilling his goals.
You burst inside, immediately spotting that your bottom cupboard is ajar. It’s where you keep your extra stores of potions for regular customers, but you have very little time to wonder which potion Seokjin is aiming for before you’re already ripping open the door to stop the vermin.
“Oh you fucking little ballsack,” you snarl, dismayed when you realize that you’re too late. Seokjin has already found the potion he was looking for, having opened it up and already halfway finished drinking the damn thing.
You slap him away from the bottle before he can do any more damage, smacking him hard enough that his tiny hamster body slams against the cupboard wall. You don’t miss the victorious furry grin on his face, holding up a tiny hamster thumbs up to spite you. “What the hell did you drink?” you hiss, grabbing the half-empty bottle and flipping it over to read the label. “Verbosity potion… Oh, you bastard!”
You know Seokjin has always wanted to cuss out Taehyung like it’s his life mission, but you’ve always made sure that he was safely locked away in his bedroom whenever the younger boy was over for a visit. Seokjin knows today was his only opportunity to get his way, especially since he could always weasel his way out of punishment by using his birthday as an excuse.
“If you say even one word to Taehyung, I swear I’ll—”
“Y/N? Is everything alright?” Taehyung asks meekly from the living room, still standing where you had left him. He has his neck craned slightly to check up on you, but your back is thankfully blocking his view of the tiny psychopath you call your familiar.
“Y-yes! Everything’s just peachy keen,” you laugh nervously, your attention still focused on Seokjin. Your familiar has yet to make a peep, and both of you are slightly confused when he struggles to speak.
“S...squeak?” Seokjin asks, blinking in bewilderment. He looks to you for an explanation, but you’re as lost as he is. Not to toot your own horn, but you’re one of the greatest potion makers of your generation; it’s almost unheard of for your potions to not work.
You don’t question it for now; instead, you grab Taehyung’s requested refill from the back, the red and pink label making it easy to locate. “Here you go! This should be less intense than the previous one I gave you. This one will lose its effect once you’ve… finished, to say the least,” you grimace, smiling awkwardly.
Taehyung takes it from you, shaking your hands wildly. “Thank you so much, Y/N! You’re definitely a lifesaver. I owe you one,” he says, already making his way out the door. “I’ll hand over the payment to you when I come to pick up my grandfather’s medicines at the end of the month if that’s fine with you!”
“No worries, Tae. Take care!” you call out, waving goodbye until he closes your door shut. With Taehyung gone, you instantly return to kneel in front of your cupboard, where Seokjin is still slumped over, unmoving. He looks more dazed than usual, his black eyes unseeing as he stares somewhere behind you.
“Seokjin? You alright? Can you speak?” you ask, but he doesn’t react, as if he hadn’t heard you. You wave a hand in front of his face, snapping your fingers when that doesn’t work. “Hey, smooth brain. I’m sorry for smacking you, okay? I know it’s your birthday and I should be treating you better, but you really shouldn’t snoop around in my potion stores and drink stuff without my permission.”
When Seokjin still does not reply, you decide to pick him up and place him on the floor. You tap him on the bum, waiting a few seconds until Seokjin is back to his human form. When the smoke fades, he’s still stuck in his stupor, but you notice the dark red flush creeping up his neck and ears.
“Seokjinnie? Holy shit, are you okay?” You panic slightly, holding a hand up to his forehead and gasping when you feel the sharp rise in his body temperature. He is definitely feverish, and you’re worried that he might have had some allergic reaction to the potion or something. “Shit, are you getting a rash? Sweetie, can you hear me? Say something, please.”
“Y/N,” he rasps, licking his lips. His pupils are undilated to an unnerving degree, and his breathing is ragged. He stands up unsteadily, wobbling in place. “Fuck, I don’t really feel well.” His voice is deep, speaking unusually slower. You shudder involuntarily, fearful and intrigued all at once.
You shake your head, clearing your thoughts. Seokjin could seriously be in danger right now! Now is not the time to get horny! “Seokjin, explain how you feel. I’ll try to figure out what antidote I should make in case you actually did accidentally poison yourself with something,” you say hurriedly, going over to your stove and grabbing a spare cauldron from its rack. You’re grabbing random herbs and chucking them into a pot, too preoccupied and worried to hear Seokjin groan behind you.
“I feel… hot. And not in a sexy way,” Seokjin whimpers, curling into himself. There is sweat lining the edge of his brow, despite the house being relatively chilly due to the cold weather. “Okay, maybe a little bit in a sexy way.”
“Well if you can still joke about it, then it shouldn’t be life-threatening, whatever this is,” you say. Seokjin coughs out a laugh, but even that makes him cringe from the discomfort.
You decide to check the potion he had drank and see what ingredients you had used, as it usually will tell you how to make a reverse for it. When you grab the bottle, it only just hits you that the color of the potion is a little off than you remember. If you remember correctly, verbosity potions are usually a pale yellow color, but this one has a darker and deeper tone. In fact, you could see flecks of red sediment floating around, something that you recognize as wyvern blood.
Hold on… Verbosity potions don’t require wyvern blood. Very few potions require it at all, and the only one you can think of that would need it is none other than—
“Oh fucking shit,” you curse for what feels like the twentieth time in this story. You whip your head to face Seokjin, whose entire upper body seems to be bathed in a deep red flush. He’s panting in earnest now, tongue lolling out as he fights the fever consuming him. Little does he know, it isn’t a regular type of fever that he’ll be able to recover with medicine. You gulp, struggling to find an explanation.
“So, umm…” You laugh hesitantly, rubbing the back of your neck with a wry smile. Seokjin peeks up at you from behind his bangs, some of it plastered to his forehead from sweat. The faraway look in his eyes has disappeared, replaced by an unsettling hunger and darkness that is uncharacteristic for the mischievous hamster shifter. You gulp. “Seokjin, I think I know what you drank and it wasn’t the verbosity potion.”
“What?” he croaks, wincing when he adjusts himself to lean on the kitchen counter. You catch sight of a bulge forming in the front of his pajama shorts, miraculously still unnoticed by Seokjin himself. “Fuck, Y/N. I’m burning up.”
The way he utters your name brings a shiver down your spine, and your familiar notices immediately. His gaze is transfixed on the exposed part of your neck, trailing over your skin until his eyes finally land on your lips. You lick them unconsciously, with Seokjin following the movement.
“Seokjin, I need you to get to bed right now. I don’t know how long this potion is going to last, but I’m gonna need you to—”
“What did you do to me?” Seokjin growls, his grip on the counter tightening to the point that he may have cracked the marble. You know he’s strong despite being a prey shifter, but you didn’t think he’d become this powerful and aggravated. You’re guessing that it might be a side effect from him drinking the potion when he was in his hamster form. He had more or less drunk the dosage required for a regular-sized human, so his smaller body size must have led to a slight overdose. This is all guesswork on your part, but hindsight isn’t going to help you right now.
“I, umm… I think I might have accidentally mislabelled the potion,” you admit reluctantly, feeling meek under his heavy presence. You’ve never felt threatened or intimidated by him before, so this is completely uncharted territory for you. You know deep in your heart that he’d never do anything to hurt you even in his inebriated state, but you would still do well to take all your precautions when approaching him. “I think… I might have given Taehyung the wrong potion, too.”
Seokjin doesn’t respond and just keeps watching you as you fidget in place. You continue, “H-he came over today because he wanted a refill, right? W-well, he actually asked for libido potion. And, so—”
“You gave me horny juice? Is that what’s happening?” Seokjin groans, crossing his legs together when he finally registers the very distinct swelling in his underwear. “Fuck,” he moans, involuntarily humping the air to search for some sort of reprieve.
You scoff, trying to keep your tone as level as possible so as not to alarm him. “What do you mean I gave you horny juice? You’re the one who drank it without permission!” you retort, but the scolding dies on your lips when Seokjin starts to grind against the counter, small gasps leaving his mouth. Your throat goes dry, and you know it’ll only be a few more moments before Seokjin’s limited control will start to slip away.
“Y-Y/N, what do I do?” he whines, giving up on the counter and weakly reaching out for you. “I feel like I’m going to die if I don’t cum right now. I-I need you.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” you start, your stomach swirling with arousal. His scent is stronger than usual, filling your senses with nothing but caramel, mint, and Seokjin. Even as you’re talking, you feel your resolve chipping away despite your better judgment. “You’re not thinking properly right now, and I don’t wanna take advantage of you—”
“N-no! I want it, no, I want you. I’ve always wanted you,” he pants, taking the two short steps to latch his hands on your waist. You flinch when you feel his large palms touch you, the heat palpable even through your clothes. Even with lust clouding his vision, he is gentle with you, like he’s afraid of hurting you. “I-I know you must think I’m a nuisance, and I’ve done n-nothing but annoy you these past few months, but I… I genuinely care about you a lot, Y/N. W-which is why I was so hurt when I thought you forgot my birthday, but even if you did, I was j-just happy to be living with you. Because I really lo—”
He gasps, unable to finish his thought as he accidentally tightens his grasp on you. He pulls you closer until your bodies are aligned, nuzzling into your neck. His teeth scrape your skin slightly, pulling a loud moan from you. You flush, embarrassed, but you have no time to worry about that when you feel how incredibly hard and solid he is against your stomach.
“P-please, help me? It doesn’t have to mean anything; we can forget about it after but right now, I don’t think I’m going to live past tomorrow unless I have my cock stuffing your pussy right this very moment,” he says in one breath, his hands reaching behind you to squeeze your ass. He inhales deeply, releasing it with a content sigh. “Fuck, I can already smell how wet you are. I just know my cock will stretch it out real good, just like how I always dreamed.”
“You… you dreamt of me like that?” you whisper, shocked. You don’t know why your brain latches onto that piece of information out of all the filthy things he just said, but you have to admit that the thought of him having wet dreams about you turns you on greatly.
“Are you kidding me? Have you seen yourself?” He sounds incredulous, like you’d just said something completely unfathomable to him. “Fuck, do you remember when I got my rut two months ago, and I stayed with Namjoon and Yoongi so that you wouldn’t feel awkward around me? They love to tease me about the number of times I moaned your name every time I came,” he admits. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you even if I tried.”
“Fuck, Seokjinnie,” you whine, your fingers scrambling to hang onto his chest, his back, his neck—anywhere, really. Your legs feel like jelly, afraid that you might stumble from how weak you’ve become from your own arousal. “Why didn’t you say anything before now?”
“I’m sorry I had to confess this way,” he says, caressing your hair with unexpected tenderness. He chuckles quietly, his breath tickling your neck. “But I really mean it, horny juice or not.”
Your heart squeezes inside your chest, not believing your lucky stars for allowing you to meet this wonderful boy in front of you. You can hardly believe your ears; never in your wildest dreams would you ever expect that he would also like you back.
“Seokjin, I also—” you begin, ready to spill your feelings all over the floor, but the moment is broken when Seokjin abruptly lifts you by the ass, his palms squeezing you as he barrels determinedly to his bedroom. You shriek in surprise, clutching onto his neck and holding on for dear life. “What the fuck? Seokjin, put me down!”
“No time for feelings! We can talk after we fuck,” he hoots, bouncing you onto the bed. You grunt from the impact, disoriented by the quick turn of events. Your head is spinning, so you don’t even register Seokjin’s hands peeling off your pants in one smooth motion.
A mixture of the cold air and nerves causes your legs to be littered with goosebumps. Seokjin, ever the attentive familiar, notices and rubs soothing circles all over, the heat inside of you coming back with a vengeance. “Sorry about that, baby,” he coos, massaging you. You shake your head, telling him it’s alright.
You are embarrassed when you feel how your panties stick uncomfortably against your skin, already so painfully aroused as if you had been the one affected by the potion. Your shame melts away when you see how much worse Seokjin is, however, as his nostrils flare with want.
“I’m glad my nose still works, by the way. I don’t know what I’d do if I missed the opportunity to smell your pretty pussy,” he sighs, situating himself in between your legs. He blows gently against your clothed slit, effectively causing all coherency to leave you for the night.
He watches your reactions slyly, his body heat radiating off of him in waves. For once, he looks more like predator than prey. “I know I said I was desperate to fuck you, but do you mind if I start with an appetizer first? I wanted cake today, but turns out my dessert was here all along…” he trails off, smirking when he catches the steadily growing spot on your underwear. “Oh, baby. I know you’re going to be the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted.”
“I-I,” you stutter, shuddering with desire. You whimper pathetically as he traces your panties with a fingernail, your stomach clenching with desire. “I didn’t know you could be like this.”
“Like what?” he hums, pulling your panties off to join your discarded pants. He grins at the sight of your glistening core, wetting his lips in anticipation. “God, you’re so pretty. I could just eat you up.”
“Then why don’t you?” you reply, trying to gain some semblance of control. That silly notion is thrown out the window, however, the moment Seokjin licks a fat stripe up your cunt. “Ngnnhh, fuck!”
Seokjin moans in tandem with you, slurping you up like a starved man. “Baby, you’re just as good as I thought. I could cum from eating you out alone.” He takes a deep breath, kissing your core almost chastely. “Fuck, I know I could cum from this alone,” he amends, rubbing his clothed length against the bed sheets.
The velvety wet heat of his tongue on your dripping pussy makes you clench around nothing, ripping a scream out of you when he focuses directly on your clit. He sucks with an obscene grin on his face, holding your hips down when your entire body begins to tremble.
“So sensitive,” Seokjin says, sluggish and gravelly like he’s drunk on your taste. “So fucking sensitive. How are you real, baby?”
“Jinnie, please,” you whine, doing your best to grind on his tongue despite his iron hold on you. “I want more, please.”
Seokjin only chuckles darkly, continuing his vicious pace. “C’mon, use my tongue like you want,” he says, letting go of you and allowing you to hump his mouth with reckless abandon.
You do as he says, swirling your hips against him with reckless abandon. The heat in your abdomen steadily builds, and you know you’re only seconds away from tipping over. “I’m close, Seokjin,” you huff, chasing your high. “Please, let me cum? Can I cum, Seokjinnie?”
He nods his head, unable to respond verbally as you continue to assault his tongue. After three more licks, you release with a silent scream, writhing violently from the strength of it.
He gives your clit one last sweet peck, sitting up with a feral grin on his face. His chin is dripping with your arousal, his plump lips redder than usual. He makes a show of licking your juices around his mouth, chuckling when all you can do is swallow wantonly.
“Thank you for the meal, baby,” he teases, his lust-riddled gaze slightly clearer now that he’s had a proper taste of you. However, the glaring tent in his shorts is still painfully present, a small darkened patch visible on his crotch.
“Wan’ your cock,” you slur, boneless and blissed out but still filled with the longing for more. “Fill my cunnie until I can’t walk anymore,” you croak, pussy twitching for extra measure. Seokjin’s expression twists, his pupils widening until his eyes are pitch black.
Seokjin doesn’t waste any more time. He rips his shorts off in record time, stripping himself of his shirt as well. You remove your own shirt and bra, causing your nipples to harden from the cold air. You tweak them as you wait for Seokjin to get himself situated, hungrily appreciating his beautiful torso and god-like shoulders. “Don’t use a condom, Jinnie. I want to feel all of you,” you say when he begins to reach inside his dresser. You can physically feel his unhinged desire growing from your words, your pussy dripping in anticipation.
“Gonna fill your pretty pussy, huh? Fill you until you have my babies?” he rasps, positioning his cock in front of you. “Gonna plug you up with my cum, Y/N? Is that what you want?”
You cant your hips upward, whining when his tip only just grazes your lips teasingly. “Fuck me already,” you beg. “Want you to ruin me.”
“Who am I to deny you? Ask and you shall receive,” he grins, before slowly pushing inside. Your jaw drops at the intrusion, as it’s been a while since you’ve last gotten fucked like this. “Fuck, you’re so tight. Almost like your pussy is sucking me in,” he groans, straining to keep himself from thrusting all the way into you. “Like you’re made for me.”
“You can m-move faster. I can take it,” you whisper, eyebrows pulling together. You sound desperate to your own ears, the pain and pleasure mixing deliciously and making your cunt weep with want.
There is a moment of hesitation on Seokjin’s part, but that all drains away when he sees your determination. Without another warning, he shoves himself up to the hilt, causing you to arch your back with a loud cry.
“Fuck,” he curses, but there is still worry in his eyes. “Baby, are okay? Are you good?”
It takes you a moment to remember how to speak. “C’mon, Seokjin. Move. I can take it,” you beg.
“You’re going to be the death of me,” he moans, but nods his head anyway.
Seokjin pulls back until only his tip remains inside you before slamming back harshly, hard enough that you’re sliding backward. He begins his brutal pace, his dick stretching you out nicely like he promised. You let out tiny squeaks with every pump of cock, hitting you perfectly in the spot that makes you see stars.
“Kiss me?” you gasp out in between moans, pulling him by the hair until you’re kissing him sloppily. It’s more teeth than anything, as Seokjin grunts into your mouth with every tug of his roots. You bite his bottom lip after a particularly rough thrust, but it only encourages him to pick up the pace.
You wrap your legs around his torso, pulling him as close as humanly possible. You can already feel your second orgasm approaching rapidly, your toes curling in anticipation.
“Seokjinnie, I’m gonna cum soon. Please, I can’t hold it—”
“I’m close too,” he says hotly in your ear. He sucks a bruise into your neck, moaning when he feels your pussy tighten in response. He drills into your cunt faster, the rhythm of his thrusts growing sloppy as he reaches his own release. He reaches down between the two of you, rubbing circles into your clit. “Fuck, baby. Cum with me?”
You sob his name, your muscles contracting as your body lights up with intense pleasure. Your back arches off the bed, your walls milking Seokjin dry until thick white ropes of cum start leaking in rivulets down your sopping cunt and all over your thighs. You can feel his throbbing length inside you as continuous streams of hot seed keep flowing from him, filling you to the brim.
Seokjin slowly comes to a complete halt, but he still hasn’t pulled out. “I’m gonna keep my cum in you for a moment, okay? Don’t wanna waste any of it, right?”
You can only nod tiredly in agreement, completely tuckered out. Your chest heaves from your laboured breathing, but the smile on your face can only be described as content. “Wow. Color me surprised. Didn’t think you’d wanna be a father so early,” you say hoarsely.
Now sated, Seokjin’s demeanor returns to its normal state, his aura less crazed than before. He has the decency to look embarrassed, but the twinkle in his eyes shows that he doesn’t regret it in the slightest. “I’d be more than happy to be the father of your children. We’re already going to live with each other forever, so I might as well raise your children anyway.”
“Might as well?” you laugh, pressing a soft kiss on the corner of his lips. “You make it sound like it’s your obligation. And who said I’d live with you forever?”
“Well, I mean, who else is going to love you the way that I do?” he murmurs, nuzzling your noses together. “Who else would be your annoyingly handsome hamster familiar?”
“Quite,” you grumble, allowing him to maneuver you into a more comfortable cuddling position. You kiss him properly this time, enjoying the sweet, warm pleasure of his affection. You’ve never felt so happy in your life. “Happy birthday, Seokjin. I’m sorry this isn’t the way I planned for it to go, but I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Agreed. It’s just like us, huh?” he snorts. He cushions your face against his chest, carding his fingers tenderly through your hair. “Say… Y/N?”
“Hmm?”
“Tell me, what does your pink hair actually mean?”
You chuckle, snuggling deeper into his comforting scent. You feel yourself slipping into slumber, eyelids threatening to fall. You’ve always loved cuddling Seokjin, after all. But most of all...
I love you, of course. “I think you already know, genius.”
Even when the sun finishes its descent from the sky and darkness fills the room, the bright pink of your hair glows—unfaltering.
#networkbangtan#btsguild#bangtanarmynet#bts smut#seokjin smut#jin smut#seokjin x reader#bts x reader#bts reader insert#bts fanfiction#bts scenarios#bts#seokjin scenarios#kim seokjin#bts jin#bangtan#bts fanfic#i feel like i could punch the sun rn LMFAO
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Guess who is here for the pero spam again
...but hear me out: pero has quite large hands that always get me thinking thots 👀 since you’ve done size kink for all pedro boys already (I think - I’m 99.9% sure it’s there because I remember esp the marcus pike one clearly 👀) I’ll not go into that stuff but what about soft thoughts 🥺
I’m thinking about Pero meeting his newborn and the baby would probably hold his hand - or more like gripping his finger because they tiny and pero’s hands are large 😔 or maybe Pero holding his hand over the bump when baby is kicking?? Idk it’s thinking about pero’s hands hours for me 😔
Welcome back, love!! 💚 I have done many a size kink now... and, if you'll allow me a shameless plug...if you liked the Marcus Pike one, it was inspired by this chapter of one of my fics... 👀
BACK TO PERO!!
I...I can't...this is another personal attack, love!! Is it because of Neville?? Am I sharing too much cute puppy that you must come for my feelings in such a way?? 🥺💚 (ilysm)
But yes, Pero's large hands would be on you throughout your entire pregnancy...caressing your growing bump, easing any soreness you encounter, gently rubbing the expensive ointment the healer bestowed upon you to help with your pains...
He would be frantically pacing outside your home as you delivered since the healer banished him from the house when he nearly killed them because you were in pain...
Once he heard the strong cries of his child, though, no force on earth could keep him away...the baby's hand barely circles the tip of his smallest finger, but they already have him wrapped around their own little finger...
With your child gently nestled in his arms, he would turn to you, tears spilling from his eyes, and you would fall even more in love...
[GIF not mine, all credit goes to original creator]
#tovar tuesdays#lucrezia answers#hi friend!!#i 💚you#pero tovar headcannon#pero tovar x you#pero tovar x reader#pero tovar#female reader#tw pregnancy#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal#pero tovar x fem!reader#pero tovar x f!reader
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How do you think Glenn balances out Rob and Charlie in the writers' room? I definitely agree when he was taking time off from writing in Seasons 13 and 14, sometimes the vibe felt a little off...but I can't put my finger on exactly why. I'm just going to hope for moment-to-moment laughs during Season 15 and have no expectations about character or overarching arcs.
Okay let me preface this by saying my thots on this are completely based on nothing but ✨vibes✨so jot that down.
I think...and maybe this is me putting Glenn on a pedestal bc he's my fave, but I think out of the three, Glenn really has the most nuanced and insightful view when it comes to his character and the show. Like when I say he balances Rob and Charlie out, I feel like (again just based purely on vibes) Glenn brings a more grounded approach to the writers room. Like Rob and Charlie can sometimes treat their characters as mouthpieces for the messages they're trying to get across, whereas Glenn treats Dennis like a fully realized character. Idk you can just tell by the way he answers questions about Den in interviews.
And I think this is really prevalent in seasons 13 and 14. You're right, the vibes of those seasons DO feel off and I think it has everything to do with Glenn not being part of the writing process. Not that he didn't have any say or insight bc of course they improv a lot on set but I guess I'm trying to say, when Glenn's more involved, things feel way more character based. Again, I'm not in the writers room but I have this like vision in my head of Rob riffing off some idea he has for an episode and Charlie just being like yeah man that's hilarious! And not really challenging him to be like okay but is that something the character would do bc it's in character for them? Or is it something you would say bc you project on to Mac? And that's where Glenn comes in to balance everything. Like Glenn can separate himself out from Dennis more than Rob and Charlie can separate themselves from Mac and Charlie. So he can take that step back and be like I know what you want to say, but what does Mac want to say?
Also, I think Dennis's ending monologue in Big Mo speaks a lot to Glenn's feelings on the show. I think part of the reason why he left bc it wasn't fun for him anymore. And it seems like he really does want to get back to just having fun with this show instead of always trying to make something to spit out a political view or some meta about something just for the sake of being relevant.
Bottom line, I like when Glenn's more involved in the creative process. I think the episodes he directed in s14 were the ones that felt most like the Gang. In terms of this season, the only reason I have faith in the 2020: a year in a review ep is bc Glenn helped write it. And I'm also hoping that means they're going to get all the 2020 crap out of the way so the rest of the season can be more Gang shenanigans than political commentary. Not that there can't be both! But with Sunny the meta and commentary has to come from a strong POV otherwise it get ends up feeling muddy and wishy washy. So fine, if they feel like they have to say something about the garbage year that was 2020, do it all in one ep and get it over with.
uhh anyway...this is long?? but i do love talking about this kind of stuff! this show means a lot to me (against my will and better judgement) and it's fun to discuss these things and see everyone else's thoughts. we're all just riffing here on tumblr dot gov.
#sunny asks#iasip#sunny#sunny s15#rcg#allisonny in philadelphia#i hope this makes sense bc i my brain is extremely disorganized#and i dont want it to sound like im shitting on rob or charlie bc im not i just like glenn the best and think he has the biggest brain#but i am v biased
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MGS BIRTHDAY AND ASTROLOGICAL SIGN HEADCANONS
You know I had to do it to them, being the lowkey astrology thot that I am.
Fun fact: astrology was a big special interest of mine for years and I still find myself guessing people's signs now and then! So here I am merging my old special interests with current ones. Groundbreaking stuff I know.
I will only be doing sun and moon signs as birth times are very tricky to make up if you don't already know the exact times. I'm not that dedicated to my brainrot...
This gets very infodumpy so putting it under a read more~
MAIN: Wild Mass Guessing Section
Otacon is Virgo sun, Pisces moon (26/8/80). First of all he does give me strong Pisces vibes; he's a daydreamer, kind-hearted, and a bit of a crybaby, duh. Also cares very deeply about his found family and would do anything for them. However he's also very nerdy, wants to help others, dedicated to his morals, and committed to his work sometimes to the point of being a workaholic and honestly? I vibe with him sharing my own sun sign a little too much. I can spot Virgo energy a mile away. With moon placements ruling over emotionality and sun signs over general behaviours, I feel that Virgo sun/Pisces moon suits him better than the other way around. Furthermore, I can't find where I read it since it was a while ago but I did read that Kojima based a lot of Otacon's mannerisms on his own. Kojima is a Virgo (ofc).
Sunny is Aquarius sun, Virgo moon (24/1/08). She has big Virgo energy like her dad (no smoking flight!) (source: am Virgo sun/asc) but she was most likely born in early 2008 given how Olga was pregnant during the tanker incident in August 2007. Thankfully I also get Aquarius vibes from her so that settles that. That would put her birthday between 24th and 26th January 2008. Basically just going with the 24th though as that date comes up in quite a few family/friend birthdays irl.
Big Boss is Taurus sun, Libra moon (14/5/35). 100%. Loves food, stubborn af, sarcastic bastard. Also very determined and ambitious in his goals. Quite fatherly to his recruits too, even if he was a bit of a deadbeat to his actual kids (tbf I'd also be pissed off if my DNA was harvested without my consent). Also quite a charmer when he wants to be despite his obvious autism, hence the whole cult of personality thing. Big Taurus/Libra energy.
Venom is Virgo sun, Cancer moon (27/8/32). Yes his birthday is different to Big Boss (naturally) but hear me out; in my headcanons BB never really shared his birthday with people–except maybe Ocelot, who hypnotised his own memories of BB to change them anyway so that's one plot hole sorted right there–so who was to know it wasn't always his birthday? Anyway he's clearly very empathic and dedicated to helping others, especially compared to BB. You just have to see his pre-Venom Snake career as a medic and his very strong guilt over not being able to save Paz. BB would never have brooded for so long over anyone (except The Boss ofc). He's also evidently quite introverted, not liking to speak much. He seems very shy outside of his work. With this in mind, I feel he would be a Virgo/Cancer combination.
Raiden is Aquarius sun, Aries moon (17/2/83). This one was a very difficult one since it's not even certain which year he was born. The wiki reckons 1983 is the most likely though so I'll go with that. He can be quite aloof especially with emotional stuff, but he doesn't seem to be introverted and is actually quite talkative/sarcastic, making him prime Aquarius material in my eyes. Also he's such a hothead that I can't help but make him Aries moon.
Solidus is Capricorn sun, Aries moon (23/12/74). The wiki says he was born in 1972 but then Zero tells Kaz in 1974 that there are only 2 LET children so far, and the MGSV timeline says the project ended in 1976. Therefore I headcanon him as actually being born in 74 or 75. As for birthdate, he gives me Capricorn vibes tbh. He just reminds me of Capricorn men i've known irl idk, plus he's very determined towards his goals. Still bitter we didn't learn more about him as a person tbh, since he only appeared in one game. I'm guessing Aries moon though because he's extra af (Source: fire moons are very extra as previously discussed) and also extremely passionate about his cause.
Possibly-Canon Subsection
Snake and Liquid are Gemini sun, Cancer moon (12/6/72). I've seen a lot of people celebrate Snake's birthday on this day. I cannot find the source for this but a lot of the fandom, at least on Tumblr, seem to have his birthday as this day. I originally headcanoned them as Aries sun with Pisces moon, however them being Gemini does fit them well. Especially with Snake as he loves to talk about random knowledge and facts, Geminis are all about that shit. Also would explain how Liquid is very cocky and appears extroverted, as Geminis tend to be very confident, at least on the outside. Furthermore, the Cancer moon is something I feel strongly with them as both twins are very emotionally-driven, albeit in different ways. Eli wears his heart on his sleeve whereas David is more of a still waters run deep kind of guy, but their emotions affect them both very greatly (even if Dave hides them).
Kaz is Taurus sun, Leo moon (17/5/45). I originally headcanoned him as Libra sun/Leo moon, but then I found this post which confirms his birthday. To be fair Taurus and Libra share some energies since they're both Venus-ruled, but Taurus is more hedonistic (and stubborn!) which fits Kaz 100%. I'm so glad I got the moon sign right though, I mean just look at this himbo thotting it up singing Koi no Yokushiryoku to the whole of Mother Base with his guitar and tell me otherwise. Extra af. (Source: I'm also Leo moon). He is in this section and not the actually-canon section purely because he states he was born once the war had ended, not while it was still ongoing (hinting at 1946, not 1945 as his year of birth).
BONUS: The Actually-Canon Section
Ocelot is Gemini sun, Sagittarius moon (6/6/44). And good lord is he ever. Ultimate two-faced drama queen; can't help being a Gemini~! Also charismatic and catty af, and actually somehow super intelligent to be able to pull off all those gambits and betrayals like that. Sagittarius moon too bc of course he is, couldn't not have a fire moon when he's that extra. (Source: me)
Huey is Leo sun, Cancer moon (6/8/45). Ofc he's Cancer moon. I honestly have little else to say, fuck Huey. I'm so sorry for any Leo sun/Cancer moon people reading this.
Eva is Taurus sun, Aquarius moon (15/5/36). Yet another Taurus queen! She's all about luxury but is also a badass in her own way. Motorbike kung fu, let's not forget! Also flirting comes naturally to her, which makes sense as taurus is ruled by Venus. Honestly I completely vibe w her being a canon Taurus, and I can't help but vibe w the double-Taurus BB/Eva action duo tbh. The Aquarius moon is a nice touch, can imagine her being very sarcastic and funny beyond what we see in-game.
Zero is Leo sun, Cancer moon (12/8/09). Deadass headcanoned him as an Aquarius until I found this tbh. He has the same sun/moon as Huey too... honestly don't know what to make of that. Given that they both used technology to majorly fuck up the world though... Reckon he has Aquarius rising anyway, he honestly gives me too many Aquarius vibes for him not to have it in his big 3.
Paramedic is Cancer sun, Leo moon (22/6/36). Literally the opposite of Zero, which is quite amusing. The Leo moon I feel definitely explains her talkativeness too (Source: isn't it obvious by now).
Sigint is Scorpio sun, Scorpio moon (11/11/39). Makes sense considering he's the token "normal" one out of the MGS3 support team in that he's not completely fucking weird (most of the time anyway), who can actually be surprisingly deep at times (e.g. that whole nightmare convo that's a call-forward to the metal gears). Also becomes a bit shady later on in the timeline, with the Patriots and DARPA stuff going on. Like I just feel that Scorpios just generally act really normal most of the time, most of their true self is hidden bc they love to be mysterious I guess. So him being double Scorpio makes sense to me.
Anyway that's it! This got kinda long...
If I left a character out, assume it's because either I don't know their birth year, I don't know enough about them to guess their sign, or they're a minor character that I can't be bothered to analyse rn.
Thanks for reading this whole thing! :)
#headcanons#mgs#metal gear solid#astrology#this has been sitting in my drafts for weeks lads i may as well just post it vghf;ghdf;#otacon#solid snake#liquid snake#big boss#raiden#metal gear#venom snake#ocelot#revolver ocelot
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Hello!
I've read a lot of fics in which a member of the bts makes the oc feel good about their body after pregnancy, praises their body and stuff,
I was wondering if you could make a jungkook fic (or any other member if you want) where he's a writer and so can't put in time for excercise, he's lost his abs, his arms and thighs have gotten lose, and he feels like the reader doesn't like him anymore because when they got together back in college, he had all that
He's just worried that he's not pretty anymore, and then the reader makes sure he realizes just how pretty he is in her eyes, that he doesn't need a crazy sculpted body for her to love him, he could have a beer belly for all she cares and she'd still love him just as much
Your fics are AWESOME and I've really wanted to request this one for a while, so I hope you like the idea!
THAT'S MY BABY | JJK
All you want to do is make sure that your boyfriend feels good about himself, no matter how life changes.
» pairing: jungkook x reader
» genre: BTS | 18+ (i guess?? idk i’m bad at judging these things) | established relationship | fluff
» wc/date: 1.4k | August 2022
» warnings: body image insecurities | they shower together, but it’s not sexual
» notes: this request is so cute and unique 🥺 thank you so much for sending this in. i'm sorry it took me a while to get to it, but i hope you enjoy 💖 and thank you to my beta reader @here4btsfics who has a lovely fic about a similiar topic here - pls go and read it, too!
» masterlist | ao3 | send me ur thots 👅
» what was jai listening to? i.f.l.y. - bazzi // nothing feels better - pink sweat$
You were accustomed to waking up to the soft indentation of where your boyfriend’s body had laid in bed beside you. You spread your fingers out, smoothing over the wrinkled sheets and pressing your palm into the remaining warmth from his body. Normally it was the smell of coffee and the click clack of fingertips against a keyboard that coaxed you awake on a sleepy Sunday morning. Jungkook didn’t like waking you up. He tiptoed around the apartment, fuzzy socks sliding along the wooden floors and catching on the occasional rug, thoughts lost in the imaginary worlds he created inside his head.
You were in awe of his mind, never quite privy to everything that went on inside it, though you assumed you wouldn’t fully understand anyway. Creativity was, admittedly, not your strong suit. At least, not in the way it was for Jungkook. His ability to shape fragments of ideas and put them down in beautiful prose was enviable. It came to no one’s surprise that his short story collections were a hit from the very beginning. From anyone else’s eyes, Jungkook was right where he needed to be.
For him, it wasn’t so simple.
With sleep blurring your eyes, you tripped over something on your way to your dresser. Looking down, your toes brushed up against the digital scale you normally kept tucked away in the bathroom. With a frown, you picked it up and headed towards the bathroom.
Seeing Jungkook studying himself in the bathroom mirror wasn’t an unusual sight. He was always evaluating something, be it the way his bangs framed his forehead or how his veins popped when he flexed his biceps. Lately, though, these self-evaluations felt more frequent and harsher than usual.
“Baby, why did you have this out?” You knew the answer already.
Jungkook met your eyes in the mirror and your heart ached at the dark circles beneath his eyes. He shrugged, eyes cast downward. He played with a stray hair tie sitting on the bathroom counter and kept his back towards you.
“I don’t feel good.”
And you knew he didn’t mean that he was sick.
Putting the scale away, you snuck your arms around his waist and hugged his back against your chest. You tried to ignore the way he tensed in your arms or how your initial touch made him flinch.
“I think we should take a hot shower and get some coffee in us. How does that sound?”
Your boyfriend grumbled, but he’d never learned how to say no to you, no matter how shitty he felt. Lucky for him, you only used your power for good.
“Thank you,” you spoke softly as you lifted your t-shirt over your head. It was one of Jungkook’s, far too large for you and worn down to the point you should have probably gotten rid of it by now. But it was one of his old college shirts and the nostalgia made you hold on for a bit longer. Your underwear was next to go, quickly slipped off and following your shirt into the hamper. You felt your stomach flutter when you caught Jungkook watching you undress. Shooting him a small smile, you busied yourself with turning on the shower and getting the temperature the way he liked it.
“Better hurry up or you’ll be stuck with cold water,” you teased as you stepped in. The heat made your skin tingle, raising goosebumps across your arms and the hairs on your skin.
Jungkook followed you soon after, keeping his eyes cast downward as you grabbed his biceps to switch places with him, allowing him the opportunity to stand beneath the water.
You grabbed his shampoo, squirting some into your palm. Jungkook leaned out of the water just enough to open his eyes and cock his eyebrow at you.
“That one’s mine.”
“I know,” you said with a small smile. “Come here.”
Jungkook frowned, but you beckoned him fervently. Once he stood before you, you gestured for him to turn away from you and lean back a bit.
“Why?” he protested and obliged anyway.
Rather than answer his question, you gently dug your fingers into his scalp, manipulating his beautiful hair as you massaged the shampoo into it. Jungkook let out a small gasp and attempted to turn, but you held his head firmly in solace.
“Relax, baby.” You spoke softly. “Let me take care of you.”
“You don’t have to. I’m too tall…” Jungkook mumbled, but you only hushed him.
You dug your nails into his scalp just enough to make his skin tingle, dragging your fingers through his hair. You focused on applying more massaging pressure near his temples and the back of his head. Jungkook carried his stress there, often getting piercing headaches that hung around for days. Once you felt you’d worked shampoo through every strand, you instructed your boyfriend to rinse it out.
He was so beautiful with water slipping down his chest and soft tummy, following wet paths to his hips and tumbling past his thighs. He was a bit paler than usual, but that was expected when he worked tirelessly on a new book, spending little time outside. But your favorite part of him to look at was his face. You loved the little dented scar on his check and the tiny freckles delicately placed around his face. You loved his bambi eyes that now stared at you in confusion, his perfect pink lips parted in an open-mouth pout.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” His cheeks flushed pink and you weren’t sure if it was due to the hot water or embarrassment.
Probably a mix of both.
“You’re beautiful, that’s why,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders and your eyes crinkled in a smile. “Conditioner now.”
Jungkook’s eyes found the floor again, and he reluctantly turned again. “You don’t have to lie.”
You didn’t mean to grip his hair so hard he let out a small whimper, but his comment made your stomach twist. “I’m not lying. Why would I be lying?”
A shrug. A small huff of annoyance.
“I’m different now.”
You tugged on his hair again. Softer this time, but enough to get his attention. “We’re meant to change. That’s what being human is all about. What does staying the same do for us?”
He twisted around to dip his head into the stream of water, hands running through his hair. While he was preoccupied, you reached for your washcloth and bodywash.
“You know I love you always, right? I don’t care what you look like.” You rubbed soap suds across Jungkook’s shoulders. “But I do love the way you look. I love your strong shoulders that hold me up at concerts when I can’t see.” A trail of soap suds weaved along his torso. “I love cuddling up with your chest when we sleep. And I love giving your tummy kisses.” You looped back up to wash his hips and sides. “I love your entire body for keeping you safe, for keeping you healthy. For keeping you alive so I can love you with my whole body and soul.
Jungkook leaned into every one of your touches, his body soft and pliable beneath you. It wasn’t possible for you to tell that he was crying; he managed to keep a straight face and the water washed away his tears. The only indication was the way his shoulder shuddered when he pulled you into a hug. Your bodies pressed flush against each other, your skin slippery from the remaining soap on his skin. You looped your arms around each other’s waists and you let Jungkook smother his face into your neck while he shook in your arms.
“It’s so hard.” His words were muffled against your skin.
“I wish you could see yourself the way I do, baby.” You rubbed circles into his lower back and pressed your fingers to massage his muscles. “You’re incredible. Forget looks for a second, okay? You are so intelligent, and creative, and different in the best way. And you’re kind and thoughtful. The sweetest soul.”
Jungkook’s grip on you tightened and his shaking subsided.
“You bring all that out of me,” he said softly, pulling away to face you eye to eye for the first time that morning.
“So listen to me.” You pressed a gentle kiss to his chest. “Believe me.”
Jungkook nodded with a hint of a smile dancing across his face. It would take time; you both knew that. You both also knew that you had each other, no matter the changes or time passed.
all rights reserved © gimmethatagustd on tumblr & ao3
do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my work
#thebtswritersclub#purplearmynet#jungkook x reader#jungkook fluff#jungkook imagine#jungkook fanfic#jungkook scenarios#bts fluff#bts jungkook#bts#bts imagines#bts x reader#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#bts au#gimmethatagustd#jai writes#drabble request#clubzerooclock#tmb
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Many Thots About Prince!Link tonight lads. I've been kinda on the fence about what I want to happen in part 2 of Alone in a cage on high bc like, so much of this story would jut be me duck taping all my thoughts about zelda too Link and all my thoughts about him to her. Like, i want to go for a more action adventure vibe for it but idk it might end up just being them talking out their feelings in a field again.
sjsjjsnsns I dont have an antagonist other than Links inability to live in the present and Zeldas inability to confront the past. Like we could just rehydrate ganon and have That be a new problem for them, Like hear me out on this one.
Playing with the idea that ganon let them seal him away bc that incarnation was strong enough to not be evil yet or whatever, he wakes up and hes struggling with the fact that he sees his two best friends in these complete strangers and the world is nothing like he remembered it and there's still this nagging thought that he could make it better if he just took control,
and its just the three of them trying to fight their collective natures and extreme disconect from the world around them while idk, mcguffin hunting or somethin
Sidon's there too occasionally i guess.
#breath of the wild#legend of zelda#botw link#link botw#im just Many Thots rn#i already spent 22k words in this story just fucking around#but hhhhhhh
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The scent (cologne, body wash, sweat, etc...) for each of the above listed man's, and why you think so. 💋
A/N: This is such an interesting prompt. Thanks for the thought generator anon💕 Also I just don’t even know what weird group of boys this is, I just know that I love them :)
Also some of these are literally just from my synesthesia like I can just smell these boys’ pictures; it’s ✨mental illness love✨
Send me headcanons!
Word Count: 862 bc ig I just don’t know how headcanons are supposed to work
Warnings: bad explanations lol, mentions of death
Carrillo:
so a bitch named @glowingpena made me realize that apparently Carrillo does smoke even though in my memory of the show he literally never touches a cigarette but whatever, I guess he smells pretty strongly of tobacco
Carrillo smells like a Dove soap bar. Not even men’s Dove, just like a normal ass bar of Dove soap because he doesn’t need men’s soap for everyone to know he is a man of authority. Idk what they had in the 80s, but this man uses a body wash to wash off his sins - even better if you do it for him because our beautiful baby needs a reminder that touch doesn’t always mean pain - and he smells strongly of it because he uses a lot of it. So he smells like that mild cinnamon-honey scent. I feel like Carrillo doesn’t really strike me as a cologne man because there’s a good chance he’s going to be getting sweaty that day anyway, but he does clean up.
Gustavo:
smoke and tobacco we been known
Gustavo just smells expensive. He’s got a lot of money to blow, and in the same way that it is very unlikely his wrist isn’t looking icey, his shelves are lined with luxury men’s cologne. If you were to bury your face in his neck and take in a lungful, you’d get Armani and cash. Also that bitter smell of gold from his chain if you’re close enough to him.
I don’t actually know how to place the scent of wealth. Men’s cologne scents are always weird, they’ll be like ✨night sky✨ or like ✨gravity✨ or some whack ass shit.
If we want a little of my bullshitTM: he smells like bad decisions and the rocks off the side of a river where he’ll leave you and your broken heart for one reason or another (probably bc he d*es but anyways)
Javier:
smoke again, I don’t make the rules I just enforce them
He smells like cheap cologne for sure. He puts a little bit on his collar, neck, and the insides of his wrists. And maybe he does the spritz and sashay
He picks his cologne carefully though. He smells like cloves and cardamon, a scent so spicy it stings your tear ducts but it’s good. Javier cares about how he presents, he just doesn’t really care about how much he paid for it.
He also smells faintly minty, like he was chewing gum a couple of hours ago, but never a couple of minutes ago. He strikes me as the kind of person that spends a solid 5-6 minutes brushing his teeth and staring at himself in the mirror.
And he definitely smells like super shitty instant coffee. It’s all they have at the embassy, and he’d probably lose his job if he didn’t overdose on caffeine some days.
Frankie:
this baby definitely smells not like laundry detergent but like dryer sheets. He just kind of smells clean. Especially if we’re talking post Colombia. He likes keeping it a little domestic after everything he’s been through, and for him doing the laundry makes him feel human.
He smells like sugar, like barbecue sauce. I just think that’s his natural scent. Like the sweetness of the icing on a cinnamon roll and peach cobbler on a summer day.
He smells like the leather of his pilot’s seat and a little bit metallic from leaning on the outside of his helicopter (since we’ve all decided that this muffin man gives copter tours for a living)
AND HE SMELLS LIKE DOG. He definitely strikes me as a dog man, and he always has a treat or two on the inside of his jacket pocket because he just can’t say no to his buddy, so that dog treat smell comes off sometimes.
Ezra:
Okay I’m going to try to not be canon here, because canonically bitch there’s just no way this man smells good. He’s literally in that fucking space suit all the time, and he gets so sweaty and worked up from digging. And he?? doesn’t shower?? Like there’s no shower in his tent, he can’t unsuit into a lake. Noncanon thots only.
I feel like Ezra’s natural scent is strong. The way freshly cut grass can hurt your eyes because it’s just filling up your senses and your pores to the brim until you hurt - he smells intoxicating.
He smells like books. If he had the chance to, he’d definitely stock up on his favorite literature, and the scent of the pages and the ink always seems to linger on him.
Whiskey:
He smells like smoke, but not like tobacco. He smells like charcoal and hickory and applewood. He’s a wooden man, and he just gives me wood vibes, you know?
He definitely throws some cologne on, and it’s gonna be a nice bottle too. He only owns one or two scents, but he makes sure he walks out of his home smelling like twine and spurs.
The felt from his Stetson. It smells intense.
Oberyn:
I never watched Game of Thrones but this man smells like sweat and fruit.
He is constantly eating (which is not my headcanon but I saw it somewhere and it makes a lot of sense), and the sweetness of grapes and berries gets on the skin of his chest.
And you can’t tell me this man isn’t always sweating. His pheromones poison the air before he even walks in.
When he bathes he smells like gold and expensive furs. A little bit like flower petals.
Max Phillips:
this idiot owns one (1) bottle of cologne and it cost him $3.5K
he fucking does it up with that shit literally catch him rubbing it like on his navel and his forehead like he’ll put it anywhere he will get his money’s worth before he ever admits that he got conned
On the bright side, he walks around smelling like a vanilla pod and grapefruit so maybe it was worth the investment????
He’s a vampire so when he doesn’t smell like luxury parfúm he smells like body wash because he doesn’t want to smell like human flesh and blood.
if anyone wants to be tagged in headcanons you can definitely ask, I just automatically assumed no one wanted to lmao. But tbh are these headcanons or a whole ass novel i can’t seem to distinguish the two
#iris answers#iris writes#headcanons#ok get ready for these tags#horacio carrillo#max phillips#oberyn martell#agent whiskey#ezra (prospect)#frankie morales#frankie catfish morales#francisco catfish morales#javier peña#gustavo gaviria#narcos
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do you ever fall right back in love with your muse and think wow ... icb i get to write u ... icb i gave birth to u .... wow / cue the ranting below the read more :
i’m just ! realizing a lot of things today, mostly thanks to these stupid dash games that seem stupid but really force you to get in your character’s mind and just ... i think the key to the way i so desperately love fred / love writing fred ( and when i say ‘ i never had a muse this strong ‘ i mean it: not even morgan, the oc a few of you know, that used to be my main before fred and who fred was loosely based on in the beginning, was ever this strong ) —— the key is all in the fact that i’m allowing myself to explore themes and character sides that i never let myself got away with before.
i think ... most of it also has to do with my personal development and realizations i’ve had through almost two years of therapy and a load of other personal bs i won’t bore you with, but mainly i used to have this ... belief that i could only truly write a charater if they were essentially unlikeable, that i could only write characters who rejected the notion of tenderness and softness, i guess ? all my character at some point ended up a degree of jaded or cynical which is absolutely valid for anyone but i think it was really clogging up my inspiration bc just ...
i truly fucking love the heart in fred. the way she loves recklessly, so much it terrifies her. the way she would give constantly, every bit of herself, and at the same time never truly give the part that matters the most because she’s not capable of giving ‘ just a little ’ ( to quote florence welch : ‘ want me to love you with moderation / do i look moderate to you ? ‘ ).
idk just ... thots ! i’m happy ! i’m so happy i get to write this stupidly flawed human being and i’m so happy i’ve found so many amazing partners that have helped me truly eviscerate her and all her themes of humanity and martyrdom and just unbridled endless love. i am .... what do instagram moms say .... #blessed.
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silo thots (part 2 technically i will try to not just say what i said when i initially listened to it)
and the i immediately repeat myself but decatur street guitar and taz amnesty guitar Have The Same Vibes and i am LIVING for these vibes makes me wanna stomp and dance and also learn to play guitar
new ladybug is.. smooth, but like velvet or satin.. og ladybug is peppy and jaunty and this version is still very lighthearted and happy but also more..resonant? like warm smooth wood and the hint of a smile
brown of gold verse chorus verse transitions are top notch, also that intense end part morphing into the record player ambience very good
follow through should be unbearably cheesy but somehow manages not to be? im impressed. the piano and guitar work together so well i never consciously noticed them separately.. feel like this one shows brians growth most of all songs, hes come so far since the yt version and it makes me emotional to think about so i simply wont (tight now...later though?oh boy)
tug of war kid is one of my favourite songs. extremely satisfying base.envelops you. the whole song surrounds you and also thrums deep in ur bones (and, dare i say, soul). return of shakey percussion thingy pt.3 i seem to subconsciously love this instrument and really should find out what its called. the contrast of the soft high verses and the strong vocals at the end? sexy. lyrics? evocative. this song is understood with the heart as much as with the brain. just how i like it. also has bugs. im pro bugs.
i firmly expected to not cry, and i didnt cry per se, but i did get a lil misty eyed. i just love bigger sky so so so much. the guitar is beautiful, the vibes are impeccable, the lyrics are very much a big mood (and also what made me cry when i heard it the first time, i was not prepared for this one to hit close to home and listening again so intently made that more apparent again) and they make me feel a range of nuanced emotions; all three of them are singing which is just a straight up blessing, especially fond of the ‘out of the city’ bit. i am officially renewing my promise to learn to play this song. if i cant figure out the tab for uke then damnit i will make my tiny hands learn to play guitar. i love this song.so.much.
10/31 has excellent jonah vocals and great vibes.love the cello especially
this ones mine has simultaneously a very specific vibe and also the feeling of a random very vague childhood memory, something ordinary but just a snippet and you couldn't even say what it is a memory of, not just that you cant describe the details, but you are remembering something, a fragment of a complex emotion. idk. im not sure i understand the lyrics really but i also settled into not needing to understand them, i will simply vibe with this song
if must be a dream had existed in 2016 i wouldve cried over it so much and made even more art journal entries about it (saying this as if i didnt make a journal page based on this when it came out..) it has some really really good lines and again the kinda crescendo/build up of the instruments and also again the cello (contrabass?) its subtle in this one but its very very good
hhhhhhhhhhh see the day. i feel like everything has been said about this song already and yet i cannot shut up about it. its too good. its perplexing. i dont understand how this can possibly still hit so hard. at this point its not even connected to the emotional rollercoaster of dances moving. this song is just so so lovely(both versions in different ways but i will stick to silo version). the baseline in this song? ive actually noticed before bc it is just so frigging cool. and all the lil tinkling and soft backing vocals and idek what? distorted guitars? at the top they all make this version positively ethereal and its so delicate, somehow translucent? has the vibes of a steven universe sky at sunset. and then the drop(???) is like letting out a breath you've been holding for too long, its this simultaneously carefree and slightly melancholy dancing, a weight off ur shoulders but still a slightly heavy heart, eyes closed and not-quite-smiling-yet, but when the song is done you slowly come to a stop out of your last slow twirl and open ur eyes as the percussion fades out taking most of the sadness with it and there it is a soft little smile
i had half a thought to make a fancy stab at newtons first lyrics and newtons first law but i dont think i can do that right now bc im too many thots head full (of emotions) and also i feel like im not the person to do this, idk i dont vibe as hard with newtons first as other people do, not bc i dont like it but it just doesnt connect to my experiences as much? i guess? anyways i am very in awe of jonahs songwriting for this one especially and also very much appreciate his voice
conclusion: silo !!!! good!! i wanna make art and also dance and sing and cry a little but like a cathartic soft cry, lie in a meadow, hug the moon and also sierra jonah and brian for being beautiful talented humans who shared this incredible gift with the world
#and that.. concludes my silo thots#no it doesnt#of course it doesnt#as i said many thots head full but also cannot articulate at all rn#ill try to come back to at least some of this#please absolutely do feel free to send me asks i will absolutely talk about the altogether at any time#please#the altogether#altogether marathon#silo#silo the altogether
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