anon use chatgpt anooon. it's unethical but u don't even have to use what it gives u, u can use it as a prompt for what u want to write

anon u didn’t hear this from me

Hii can i request lee mitsuya and lers draken and baji

Of course you can, anon! I've gotcha covered!

CW: Swearing- the Toman Gang are all potty mouths and need their own brand of soap (especially Baji) (Affectionate); angst, light mention of homophobia

Cloud 9 (Taglist)

@duckymcdoorknob, @baby-tickles2022, @cupcake-spice13, @myreygn

“Mitsuya’s hiding something.” Baji growled, side eyeing the mentioned man in the distance. “What’s he so tight lipped about?”

“Knowing him, it’s probably sewing related.” Draken shrugged, not bothering to move from his spot lying back. It was Friday, and with no immediate Toman meetings or homework assignments due, the tattooed highschooler’s only plans were to work out, sleep, and take Emma out somewhere nice. “Leave him be- you know how he gets when he’s in ‘the zone’.”

The ‘zone’ was their loving way of saying Mitsuya becomes a hermit during his projects- not talking to anyone, grunts as his only form of communication. He turned up to Toman meetings looking like he’d been at work all night, dark circles under his eyes and bandages on the tips of his fingers. It was a bit unhealthy, but not even Mikey could pull him out of it, so they’ve unspokenly agreed not to bring too many projects up if Mitsuya looked particularly ragged.

“That’s the thing- last I checked, he’s not working on anything!” Baji waved a hand to emphasize his point. “I haven’t seen him with his notebook at all.”

That was new. Draken opened his eyes, brow’s furrowing in thought. “No notebook?” That was the usual sign he was entering the ‘zone’.

“And his fingers! They look fine!” Baji nodded more, talking with his hands. “He’s got no bandaids, and there’s no needles anywhere! He’s definitely not in the ‘zone’. Something else is going on.” Baji looked back towards Mitsuya, squinting. “You think he’s mad at us?”

“Unlikely. You know how he gets when mad.” Draken sat up, following Baji’s gaze. The other didn’t seem angry at the least. If anything, there was a noticeable droop to his shoulders. “Think he’s upset?”

“Hm…” Baji got up, slapping dust off his thighs. “One way to find out.”

~~~

It took them less than five minutes to wander over, taking a seat on each side of their friend. “Ay, Mitsuya.” Draken threw an arm over his shoulder in greeting, starting the other into alert. “What’s up? Why are you sitting here like it’s a funeral?”

“I’m not…” He began, fading off then. A shadow passed over his face, resealing his lips. “I’m fine.”

“The hell you are. We’ve known you since middle school, you really suck at lying.” Baji grumbled as he lightly shoved him. “If someone’s giving you shit, I’ll kick their ass.”

“Baji, what did I tell you about resorting to violence.” Draken glared.

“Says the guy who threw Takemitchy’s entire house at Mikey.” Baji shot back.

“It wasn’t an entire house, it was more his front yard.”

“Same thing.”

“It’s not-”

“Guys, please.” Mitsuya cut them off, sounding incredibly tired. “If you’re gonna fight, can you do it somewhere else? I’m not in the mood.”

 Oh yeah, something was wrong. “Mits. What’s going on for real.” Draken asked, returning his attention to the teen. “You know you can talk to us, right?”

Mitsuya bit his lip, hiding the slightest hint of a quiver. “I’m fine, I swear.” He grunted, voice thick. He started to stand, but Draken’s arm was like iron. “Draken, let me go.”

“Mitsuya-”

“Ken.” His voice was firm, eyes hard. “Please. Let me go.”

Government names. This was serious. Draken pulled his arm back, freeing the other. Mitsuya started to leave.

“Oh hell no, like that shit’s gonna work.” Baji reacted before anyone could stop him, grabbing Mitsuya around the waist and pulling him down. Almost immediately they were fighting, elbows going and fist connecting. “Baji, get the hell off!” Mitsuya growled.

“Kiss my ass! You’re gonna talk! One way or another, I’m getting an answer!” Baji twisted, quickly pinning the other down against the cool gravel. With fast hands, he had Mitsuya’s wrist pinned beside his head. “There.”

“Baji…” Mitsuya hissed, expression dark. “Let me go. Now.”

“Oo, scary. Like that’s ever worked before.” Bounding up both hands with one of his own, he dropped the other to his waist, starting to tickle. “Come on, talk to me, you ass!”

“Er! N-No! Stahahap it!” Mitsuya grunted, immediately squirming beneath the touch. Draken was about to step in and pull Baji off when he took a look at Mitsuya’s face. While he was certainly annoyed, he wasn’t uncomfortable.

Maybe this wasn’t a bad idea afterall.

“Oo, stubborn are we? You know how the saying goes- Sewed lips will be snipped!” Baji grinned as he ran his hand towards his ribs, making the gray haired teen spasm with a snort. “Don’t make me get my scissors, Mitsuya.”

“Whahahahat kind of mohohoohorbid saahahahhaying is thahahahhat?” He grunted out, bubbling over with laughter. “Yohohhoohur insahahhahane!”

“And you're stubborn. Aye, Draken- help me get this ass to talk!” Baji nodded towards the taller man, narrowly avoiding a fist to the nose. “Aye, watch it!”

“Kihihihihiss my ahahhhahahss!” Mitsuya tried to swing again, but his wrist was caught easily by Draken. “Drahahahhaken hehehehehelp!”

“Sorry, Mits. First you talk. Until then.” He grabbed both wrists now, holding them high and exposing even more tickle spots. “Get him good, Baji.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice!”

“No no no no nohoohohohohohohohooho!” Mitsuya squealed out in mirth as both of Baji’s hands came into play, drilling into his ribs and squeezing along the space below them. “Ahahahahhahahabsoohohohohohluhuhuhuhutely nohohohohohohot! Stahhahhahap it! Bahahahhahahajihihihihihihi!” Mitsuya’s face was starting to tint pink, his smile wide and his eyes squeezed shut. It was much better than earlier. “Cohohohohohome ohohohohon, I’m shehehehehrious!”

“Hi serious, I’m Draken.” Draken snickered at his own joke, earning a giggly glare from the other. “Ready to talk?”

“Nehehehehhehehever!”

“Shame. Baji, try his feet. He’ll die.”

“Oo?” The long haired teen lit up at the info, flipping around with a gremlin like giggle. “His feeties are ticklish, are they?”

“NO! No thehehere nohohoht!” Mitsuya squirmed more, trying to break out. His eyes were light with laughter, the earlier pain fading away bit by bit. “Dohoohhn’t you dahhahare!”

Baji didn’t respond. Instead, he looked over his shoulder with a mischievous grin as he yanked off a shoe, running a finger along the socked sole.

The reaction was glorious. Mitsuya let out a shriek like cackle- his entire body jolting as if he was electrocuted. “Wahahhait!”

“I think we found a good spot!” Baji grinned, diving in and attacking relentlessly. Mitsuya swore as he flailed about, his laughter filling the air with each scratch and scribble. Draken gave up on holding his wrists, laughing just as hard as Mitsuya curled in on himself, holding his belly as tears of mirth dotted his eyes. “Ready to tell us?”

“YEHHEHEHEHS I’LL TEHEHEHELL YOU! NOW STAHHAHAHAP!”

“Baji, let him breathe.” Draken called out, stretching forward and wiggling two fingers under Baji’s arm, making him squawk and fall to the left.

“Uncool!” He stammered, flushed slightly.

“Deal with it.” Draken told him good naturedly, looking down at a now exhausted Mitsuya. “Feeling better?”

That earned him a halfhearted glare, but the other nodded, panting. “I’m…better.” He looked away, eyes clouding. “It’s been a bad day, that’s all.” When the other two waited, Mitsuya carried on. “This is gonna sound stupid as hell, but…do you two think I’m too weak for Toman?”

Draken gaped, Baji nearly choked. “HUH?” Both squawked in shock.

“See, I told you it was stupid.” Mitsuya sighed.

“No, no- don’t shut us out.” Draken recovered, making Mitsuya look at him. “It is stupid- the idea you’re too weak. Mitsuya, you’re one of the founders of Toman. The First Division Captain. How the hell does that make you weak?”

“Seriously; clearly whatever made you think otherwise never seen you fight.” Baji nodded in approval. “Shit, you nearly took my ass out, and I’m the best fighter there is.”

“Yeah yeah…I just-” Mitsuya looked like he was struggling to speak, debating on what to say. “Recently…someone was talking shit about me. About Toman. I guess they forgot I was in the sewing club, or they chose to say it there just so I’d hear it.” Baji tensed, ready to kill. Draken glared at him before nodding for Mitsuya to continue.

“They were saying a captain and a founder shouldn’t be such a…I don’t wanna say it, but you know what word it was.” Now it was Draken’s turn to look furious. “They said I’m only good at making dumb things like flowers and shit, and that it was a mistake for me to be in Toman.” The words gutted him, like they were being thrown his direction as he spoke. “I know I shouldn’t listen to it but…what if they're right? What if I am Toman’s mistake?”

“They’re not. You’re not Toman’s mistake.” Baji glared fiercely, a protective tone sharpening his voice. “Don’t ever say that.”

“But what if it’s true, Baji?” Mitsuya argued, angry now. “What if I am, and all this time I’m just holding back Mikey and his dream? Then what?”

“The only ones who can decide if you’re a mistake is Toman itself, and to think we’d ever call you that is an insult to both the gang and Mikey’s dream.” Draken sounded tired- even to himself. Still, he raised his chin as he met Mitsuya’s eye, putting every ounce of conviction in his voice. “You’re the farthest thing from it.”

“Hell yeah, and besides- where would we be without you?” Baji shook him lightly. “We can’t sew for shit; we’d look stupid at meetings and fights without you.”

“So I can sew.” Mitsuya grumbled. “Big deal-”

“And you’re a lot calmer than us when it comes to group disputes. So far I think you’re the only one who can handle a problem without resorting to his fists.” Draken nodded in agreement, mildly eyeing Baji. The other didn’t seem to notice.

“Guys-”

“And you’ve got an amazing taste in movies and shows.”

“You know how to make the best snacks we’ve ever tried.”

“You’re smart and help me with homework when Chifuyu’s busy.”

“And you give good advice on gifts and other matters of life.”

“You’re hot-”

“Guys, guys, enough.” Mitsuya was laughing now, wet with newly formed tears. “I get it, I do. I’m sorry for ever believing what that asshole said. I know Toman wouldn’t think I'm weak.” He shook his head as he wiped his face. “I just…I guess I needed to hear that. Thank you.”

Draken nodded, satisfied. Baji looked pleased. “Good.” The blonde smiled, the expression growing wicked. “Now- let’s get Baji.”

“Heh?” Baji blinked.

“Good idea.” Mitsuya grinned, sitting up the best he could.

“Wait- what are you two-” Baji scrambled back, starting to stand. “Oh hell no, stay away from me- I’LL FART ON YOU!” Baji booked it, running for safety while Mitsuya stayed on his trail, easily outrunning the other and taking him down.

Draken laughed as the area filled with Baji’s clown-like cackles. Later, he’d find the piece of shit who dared to hurt his friend and insult Toman.

That was later. For now, he’ll stick around and help these two out.

I hope this was good!

You ever think about how, as commander of the Night's Cavalry, Morgott really is sending knights out in full funeral horse drapes and black armor and for what. The drama? I bet its for the drama.

"it's to be imposing"

For. the. drama.

Supporting evidence: he didn't NEED to make that dramatic speech outside Stormveil, or everywhere else you run into Margit. He could literally have just attacked. Outside universe, sure, it's for a dramatic reveal. But in universe i feel like it's also for the drama of it-- putting on a show of force, or menace, or just to make a point about Tarnished being unwelcome.

People tend to point at Mohg for the dramatic presentation and sure, he's ostentatious about it. Flaming palace covered in blood and lush tapestry-- sure, makes a statement. To the whole handful of people who ever make it there alive, or not meant to be a sacrifice of some kind. He's leaning into it, sure. But Morgott is very much doing it in a way that word will spread about him doing it. He WANTS you to die, come back at a grace and then go tell other tarnished how bad he beat your ass and just what his name was. Which is the same as 'to be imposing' but "An omen kicked my ass" would have worked just as well as "Margit the Fell kicked my ass".

Tertiary evidence: His speech at the thrones.

I just think there's an underlying theater to how Morgott conducts himself that is probably tied to his youth, but is just a delightfully silly thing to think about in isolation.

This is a man that started doing dramatic voices and monologues with Mohg in the sewers while they played pretend and just never stopped. His persona while he's Margit is an act, his role as Morgott the Veiled Monarch is an act, and if you got a chance to just speak to him on a personal level, i think that would be an act too-- for a while.

In a scenario where a tarnished gets close enough to glimpse the real Morgott they're going to see the man who is silently devoted to the Erd Tree. A man with such strong faith that his lack of grace doesn't impede his use of holy incantation. A man with such a capacity to love that he gives his whole heart to protecting the very thing he had been scorned by, whether he should or not. To defending a city that would revile him if they knew he was an omen.

Aaaand i rambled, but the point is he's dramatic and that's great.

Oh Anon you are so right and you should say it.

I've discussed with a personal friend the idea of a Modern Au to write sometime, and Morgott (and Mohg too ofc) would def be the theater kids in high school and growing up.

Both of them have drama and flair but in their own special ways and we love them for it 💖

Your mention of Morgott loving things honestly reminded me of this post, which I've discussed with that earlier mentioned friend before and how it applies to Morgott in my own opinion.

For those unaware, the post in question talks about Gomez Addams from the Addams family loving everything about life, being in love with life, and how it makes him so wonderful as a character and attracted Morticia to him.

I believe, despite all that has happened to him, Morgott genuinely and whole-heartedly is in love with life and what it has too offer. He's jaded, coarse, and unfriendly, but that's all an act to keep himself safe and protected, especially considering just how much of the world's responsibility is resting on his shoulders. But he loves everything about being alive so much that he carries that burden with no complaints.

He guides and leads an entire city that left him and his dear twin forgotten and rotting in the sewers, in literal shit. A city that would tie him down and slit him open crotch to throat at the base of the Erdtree itself for the treason he has committed of being Omen born and ruling as King.

And yet he takes the risk of being found out because he loves the city. He loves the Erdtree. He loves the "message" the Golden Order was trying to spread to the rest of the world. (We as the audience know this "message" was mostly horrible and exclusive and racist and all those bad things, but from Morgott was raised to genuinely believe the Golden Order was good, so that's a whole ass other can of worms.)

He is a man who falls so whole-heartedly in love that nothing will stop him from serving and protecting what he deems worthy, whether that's people, ideals, or objects and what they represent. In another world where he was raised properly and in a good home, I truly believe he would have grown to be a very warm, comforting, and loving presence. One that everyone who knew him would say they were better off having met him and had him as a part of their lives.

It's a shame we don't get to see it ourselves.

In the end...

Carl GallagherxGirlfriend!reader

Requested?: yes

Request: Heyy! Could you please do a Carl Gallagher X Girlfriend!reader like maybe angsty and fluffy. Like in the last season or something (where carl is a cop) and they have been together since he came out of juvie and now they find out she‘s pregnant? Thank you so much! - requested by anon

Summary: A visit through the relationship of Carl and y/n, since they met at 14 until the biggest and best surprise of their lives.

Warnings: cursing (not much honestly); ANGST; death (mentioned); like, one fight; pregnancy; slight mentions of Carl's shitty life honestly.

Words: 1889

A/N: Thank you so much, lovely person. I'll try my best to meet your expectations. I'm not English, so there might be some mistakes. And. I also haven't seen the whole series YET, but I searched the whole Internet so I hope this is accurate, even tho I changed a bit the request to be a few years after the last season bc our boy Carl was 19 at the last season and, well... keep reading. Not proofread, tho. Enjoy! - Thema.

She doesn’t really know how or why she fell for him. It made absolutely no sense. Really. No sense at all. I could sound a bit rude, but in the end it was kinda true.

---

They had met when they were 14. He was fresh out of juvie, with his “White Boy Carl” shit that she found absolutely stupid. He wasn’t a big fan of her. Carl used to say that “she’s just a chick who thinks she’s better than anyone just because she’s fucking perfect”. They were 14 and despised each other.

---

But at 15, poor Carl and poor y/n got paired for a project. At that project, they discovered that they worked pretty well together. They became very good friends and basically each other’s confident. Their friendship was a safe space. One night they told each other everything they thought the other needed to know.

Carl told her about his huge family and all of the shit he had with his father. He told her about juvie and explained to her the “White Boy Carl” phase and why and how it ended. He told her his problems with Dominique and all the shit he had gone through those past years.

Y/n told him about all her problems, all her dreams, her ambitions, her family, her friends. Carl listened to her, mesmerized. He fell in love harder that night than ever.

After going out together a few times and Carl asking for advice to almost his entire family (he asked Lip, Fiona, Debbie and even Ian) he kissed her. It was nothing too big for any of them individually, but it felt like the best kiss of their lives anyways.

They started dating that week and never let go of each other. They were attached by the hip. He was sweet and caring with her and all of his siblings catched him daydreaming about her more than once.

After a few months dating, Carl thought it was moment for his family to meet y/n. He had met y/n parents a few weeks before and they adored him. His family was a mess, so that was kinda the final test for y/n. But all of his siblings were absolutely enchanted by her, just like him, and loved her instantly. She especially got along with Ian and Liam, and shared Fiona’s efforts for Carl’s wellbeing. 

When Monica died, y/n was the one who had to tell Carl. She was of course invited to the funeral. She could swear she had never attended a funeral so… special. They laughed, danced and enjoyed their time together as a family in a weird way. After Carl went with Frank, he immediately went with y/n. They promised to be each other's anchors that day.

When Carl went to military school, Carl’s family supported y/n, and vice versa. She hung out with Lip and Ian sometimes; she went with Liam to the park, or the cinema, or wherever he wanted to go; helped with the groceries or the cleaning or whatever they needed; she helped with Frank kicking him out of the house when necessary; and she had diner with the Gallaghers, Kev, V and the twins, who she also babysat sometimes.

---

Fast forward to when they were 18. They both graduated and they also celebrated the fact that they had been together for 3 years, and, in Carl’s words, “that’s like 10 years for a Gallagher in a relationship”. So they decided to take the next step. He searched for a job while she started studying Periodism, which was her dream since she was little. They determined that they were going to live together. Since they had no money, they started living together at the Gallagher’s house. She also started working and tried to get as much money as she could to the household, but the biggest help she offered was helping with all the kids. She spent whole nights helping Liam with school, she played with Kev and V’s twins and she also took care of Franny and Freddie when needed. She actually didn't care at all, as she loved being with kids and was actually pretty good at it.

The change was probably the hardest challenge of their relationship. They fought, and they screamed. They said very ugly things about each other. 

“I don’t need you here if you’re just going to be an ungrateful bitch” he said to her during one of their arguments.

“I won’t stay either if you think I’m just an ungrateful bitch. You know very well that I do everything, EVERYTHING I can do to help your fucking family and you’re here all mighty telling me what? That I don’t do shit? After helping Liam with a project until 2 am last night? After having changed more diapers than the rest of this family? After giving every fucking penny I gain to YOUR family? Are you seriously in any position to say anything to me?” She replied with silent tears running down her face.

“…I’m sorry” He said after a few long seconds of silence. He got close to her and hugged her stronger than ever. They cried together promising each other never arguing like that again.

---

After a lot of effort and a VERY big amount of fights, kisses and a lot of shared love, Carl and y/n were attending Ian and Mickey’s wedding. They both cried during the whole thing, and they truly thought that they had the best brother-in-law in the world. They smiled until their cheeks hurted and Carl knew at that moment that the woman that was hugging his brother and husband with more strength than she had ever shown was going to be by his side forever.

---

2020 was a very challenging year for everyone. But it was also one of the happiest for the pair. Carl started at the police academy and became a cop. Y/n said after the ceremony “who would’ve guessed that” and he realized that he was the luckiest man alive for being able to keep her by his side all of those years.

2020 was also the year that they decided to move out of the family house. They loved all the Gallaghers, but they definitely needed a place just for them. They found a shitty flat very cheap and made it their home.

While y/n kept studying, Carl planned proposing to her. He had been saving for a while, and he had enough money to buy her a decent ring. 

He proposed in August, not wanting to wait anymore. He got on one knee while they were at the roof of the building, where he had put lights and made everything perfect just for her. She was shocked and lasted a while in answering, a thing that scared Carl out of his mind. He knew that they were only 19 and she maybe wanted to be legally single for a few more years. But then she smiled as brightly as the sun and said yes. 

---

Their wedding was a very little event when they were 20. Only family. Unlike at Ian's wedding, Fiona did attend. Y/n looked beautiful and Carl felt like he was getting married to an angel. Everything was very cheap and intimate, but they wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

---

After little more than one year of being married, y/n discovered a very big thing. She was pregnant and very. She couldn’t understand how she had missed the signs. She was almost 2 months and a half pregnant, or so had the doctor said. 

She immediately went to see Ian and Mickey after her appointment, wanting to see someone of her husband’s family without her husband knowing anything about the pregnancy. She was scared out of her mind, not knowing if Carl would want the kid. She knew that he would want them, having said that he wanted to have a family with her.

But, what if he didn’t want them now? Or what if they couldn’t? They didn’t have that much money. Or maybe they weren’t prepared. Was she prepared to have kids with Carl?

Ian and Mickey advised her that she had to tell him. So y/n started preparing how she would tell him.

She wanted to proceed carefully, so she didn’t do anything big. Enough for him to be surprised but not as much for him to feel pressured.

When he arrived home that night, y/n was about to vomit, or scream, or cry, or something in between.

She got up from the couch and went to greet him with a kiss, like everyday. Carl also made the bad joke he did everyday. “Look what we have here. Is your husband around, hottie?”. She did her routine roll of eyes. She smiled and kissed him again.

“I have a surprise for you” she said, dragging him to the kitchen.

“You do?” he asked. 

Y/n felt Carl’s eyes through her whole body. “Not in that way, asshole”.

He laughed defeated. They arrived to the kitchen and y/n handed him a little box. He raised an eyebrow seeing her very nervous, biting her inside cheek.

“You ok?” he asked concerned.

“Open the fucking box, I’m struggling here” she said, now biting her nails.

He decided to open the box to see what had his wife so nervous. The only thing he saw was a pacifier. He didn’t understand at first, looking to y/n and back to the pacifier a few times.

Y/n took a positive pregnancy test off her pocket and placed it on the kitchen counter. Carl then looked at the test, then to her and back to the pacifier.

Anxious, y/n said “do you need me to spell it out for you or are you getting the fucking hints?”.

He smiled a bit looking at his wife again. “Is this true?”

“Of course it is true!” y/n answered, getting impatient.

“This is not a joke, right?” he said with glossy eyes.

“Why on Earth would I make a joke like this one?” she said, getting close to him.

She placed her hands on his cheeks to wipe the tears that were already escaping his eyes.

He finally snapped out of his long trance and wrapped his arms around her waist, raising her a bit from the floor, kissing her entire face and saying “I love you” again and again.

“Carl!” she exclaimed, a bit surprised by the sudden burst of energy.

“Sorry! Sorry! That’s probably not good for the baby, right? I never- Sorry. How far along are you? Can we-” he started rumbling before she stopped him.

“God, you’re going to be an amazing father, aren’t you?” she said, completely amazed by her husband.

“We’re going to be pretty cool parents, that’s true” he said, giggling like a little kid, hugging y/n tight once again, making her laugh heartily.

---

It didn’t matter that they were completely different, or that she didn’t even know how she fell for her.Because in the end, the only thing that mattered was that they loved each other more than they loved anyone in the entire world. Except maybe that little human that was going to change their life forever completely.

A/N: Well, I know this was not exactly what was requested, but I tried my best to stuck to it, with a lot of creative liberty. I hadn't wrote that much on a while, so I don't know how to feel about this. Hope you enjoyed it tho!

All the love, A.

Headcanons for being the youngest Scamander sibling

Newt/Theseus Scamander x sibling!reader

warnings: fb3 spoilers! mainly takes place during the movie! also death/fighting

a/n: god i have been so excited to write this dhsbsghs. and i love u anon ur so sweet.

prompt: anonymous: “OMG I JUST WATCHED FB3 and it was such a fun ride!! may i request a headcanon for being the youngest scamander who's still in hogwarts? thank you very much! your works are always lovely ♡”

yes, you were quite younger than your brothers

but that didn’t change the fact that they loved you and you loved them

it was a shame you couldn’t get in on the action with them, whether that be magizoology or ministry happenings (or adventures they found themselves in)

dumbledore swore to keep his eye on you

made sure you didn’t get kicked out like *someone* in your family

“you’re so close to graduating, y/n. please take it seriously” -dumbledore

“fifty-fifty chance i do” -you

you don’t typically see theseus and newt at the same time, but whoever is closest for the holidays will pick you up

leta adored you, you’d talk to her every chance you got

“how’s school going, y/n? get yourself into any trouble lately?” -leta

“why does everyone keep asking me that?” -you

“why do you think?” -theseus

he always squeezes the crap out of you when he sends you back to school

and sends you off with a gift or two

“be good” -theseus

“you really don’t trust me, huh?” -you

“force of habit. i’m gonna miss you” -theseus

“right, right. i’ll miss you, too” -you

newt had told you all about how he got into all sorts of trouble at hogwarts

gave you a ton of pointers over the years. where to hide mostly

and he told you to speak your mind, even if it gets you into trouble

but he warned against taking the fall for others, he learned that the hard way

“i’d like to see you graduate here, do some good.” -newt

“wanna hear what i did last week?” -you

“oh, dear…go ahead” -newt

you always had fun telling newt your stories

the few times you get to see him

you missed your brothers often

when leta died, you were shaken to your core

the funeral was a drag

you practically clung to newt and theseus as you parted once more, you worried deeply for their lives

they felt you’d be safest at hogwarts and encouraged you to enjoy it while you could

“i really wish i could be out there with them” -you

“i know you do, but think about your education for a moment” -dumbledore

“mm, okay, still want to help” -you

“why can’t you be a cheeky hermit like newt was your age?” -dumbledore

“because i’m not newt” -you “or theseus, before you go there”

“you’re funny like them, though” -dumbledore

you really did remind him of newt and theseus, but your dynamic also reminded him of him, aberforth, and ariana

when newt’s friend, jacob, showed up to hogwarts, you were so excited

“hello! you must be jacob!” -you

“hey, yeah, that’s me. you, uh, you a psychic or something?” -jacob

“i’m something, y/n scamander” -you

“oh! oh, you’re the little sibling! look at you in your funny little uniform. wow, another scamander. you uptight or an animal lover?” -jacob

“just me, thank you” -you

giving jacob the tour

“do you fly around this place on those broomsticks, too?” -jacob

“i did once or twice” -you, laughing “got kicked off the quidditch team, though. i had my fair streak of trouble”

“quidditch? what’s that?” -jacob

“it’s the sport that they’re playing” -you

“like…like baseball?” -jacob

“sure, like baseball” -you

when your brothers got back to hogwarts, you were ecstatic (and desperate to get in on it all)

“y/n, don’t you have studies?” -theseus

“shhh, just let me have this” -you

“hi there, y/n, missed you” -newt

“where’s the case?” -you

“oh, i dont have it at the moment” -newt

“what? where is it?” -you

“bunty has it” -newt

“and where is she?” -you

you were highly intrigued by the issue at hand

well, not so much intrigued as you were desperate to know what was going on

any detail left out would make you lose sleep

“where are you staying tonight?” -you

“they’ll be staying at the hog’s head inn” -dumbledore

“may i come, too? just for tonight?” -you

“ah, i don’t know if that’s appropriate—” -dumbledore

“we’ll sign off on it” -newt

*theseus side eyes*

you brought some of your homework along and did it at the bar, just wanting to be near

newt helped you out with it for a bit

“hey, i remember this. you need a hand? or another head?” -newt

“sure, that’d be great” -you

you told him how you’d gone through the boggart lesson recently

“oh! oh…oh, how was that?” -newt

“not too bad, we all had a few laughs” -you

“yours wasn’t too scary?” -newt

“no, not any worse than a desk” -you, making fun of him

newt had noticed writing on the mirror across from him and left you a moment

and lally wanted to get to know the youngest scamander

“why hello there, dear. we haven’t had a moment to ourselves yet. what are you up to?” -lally

“just some homework brought from hogwarts. they excused me from curfew tonight as long as i proved i’d still be productive” -you

“a unique situation you’re in, aren’t you?” -lally

“you could say that” -you, laughing “i’m always being expected to act up thanks to newt, but they always want me to go above and beyond like theseus. i love my brothers, i’d just like to be me”

“oh, i see. well, i see you as you. tell me about you” -lally

you and lally had a long conversation while newt and dumbledore did the same

“you know, y/n carries a copy of fantastic beasts wherever they go. i think they miss you” -dumbledore

“they do? how do you know?” -newt

“i see them read it all the time. they even catch some unsuspecting students to ramble to about it from time to time” -dumbledore

“are you saying they’re starting to…to turn out like me?” -newt

“i’m saying they miss you. don’t take that for granted, newt. not after what i just told you” -dumbledore, glancing at the painting of ariana

when they came back downstairs, you were playing with the newest addition to the magical briefcase

where teddy the niffler was getting jealous and stealing coins from your pocket

you made the most of this time with your brothers and their friends, knowing that danger loomed over them

and there was nothing that you could do

but you could dance and talk and laugh and mingle until the sun came up

you followed them to the room of requirement and gave them hugs goodbye

“what is this place?” -jacob

“the room we require” -newt

“y/n, why didn’t you show me this?” -jacob

*magic users chuckling*

“be safe. please” -you

“you’re worried about us? that’s adorable” -theseus, hugging you as hard as he could

“oh, sorry. i hope you get cursed” -you, sarcastically

“i’ll see you soon, don’t worry. just focus on your classes” -newt

“why can’t i come with you? i want to help!” -you

“because dumbledore doesn’t need any children fighting his battles” -theseus

^(a/n: *spongebob narrator voice* “sixty years later”)

anyways

you were on edge all day, watching the election for supreme mugwump with your classmates

your brothers appeared before the wizarding world and you hid behind your hands as your classmates turned to you

“are you alright, y/n?” -professor mcgonnagal

“that depends on what happens in the next few minutes” -you

fortunately, your brothers came home

and you were invited to jacob and queenie’s wedding in new york!

“really?!” -you

“yes, really, kid! you’re gonna love new york, i’ll even give you a tour! least i can do for you showing me your school” -jacob

you went to new york and absolutely loved it, it was your new favorite place

and these wedding guests, your new favorite people

“you’re my new favorite, too!” -queenie

taglist: @ravenmoore14 // @summersimmerus // @the-did-i-ask // @azazel-nyx // @randomfandomimagine // @scarthefangirl // @locke-writes // @sweetjedi // @beth-gallagher22 // @bad4amficideas // @xoxobabydolls // @ruvaakke // @evilcr0ne // @thedarkqueenofavalon // @nightmarefox15 //

I’m not really doing too well, if it’s alright could I have some Kiyo headcanons? Preferably just Kiyo, if it’s not too much to ask. It’s also fine if you don’t want to send any/respond.

Sorry to hear that, I hope you feel better soon, anon! ♥

A lot of these are pretty fucking grim but I promise there’s also some nice lighthearted ones in here somewhere 😭 Mentions of animal death and some classic sibling abuse in here;;

I always kinda viewed him being mostly raised by his sister: Never really had an attachment to his parents because he was very young when they died and any grieving he may have needed to do was swindled by his sister just trying Too Hard to move past it and coming across like “we didn’t need them anyway.” So I do think that he just really needs/wants parental figures / mostly a maternal figure in his life of any kind, since he lost his real one and was forced to depend on another. He doesn’t know how to cope without one.

Definitely a weird kid growing up, no friends in school but everyone was also too scared to bully him directly. Honestly believed he had a lot of friends in school at the time because he would just ramble to other kids about horrifying things and they’d run away crying, and his sister would have to drill it into his head later that he has no friends. Thanks, sister.

^On top of that I definitely think he’s on the autism spectrum...somewhere in there.

REALLYYYY liked dissecting frogs, probably tried bringing his own dead animals he found to school so he could dissect them in class...his sister was brought in MANY times by teachers to give him a stern talking to.

Had a secret highschool crush, probably not realizing it was a crush, and was trying to flirt with her like “I want to dissect you so bad.” Probably got kicked in the knees. But hey! Now he’s a big fan of human anatomy!!! #feminism

I think he was a peaceful kid otherwise, he would always try to pet any neighborhood pets or wild animals that would let him, likely has some childhood scars from this because nothing was un-pattable to him. He’s a lot more careful and smart about it nowadays, but he would still pet a moose if given the safe chance. For the experience.

Had very little reactions to death in general growing up, since he was forced to repress his mourning for his parents he ended up being a bit apathetic about it to cope. So, as much as she loved animals and would never hurt one; he loved dead animals just as much. Ended up seeing beauty in death. 

...DEFINITELY LIKES TAXIDERMY NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT. Took a few taxidermy classes, everything he stuffed was too mortifyingly bad to keep, except for a coiled snake he has kept throughout the years.

Probably went to a few funerals of his sister’s friends/coworkers and...enjoyed them, he was basically the only one not crying, just smiling behind his mask. As he got older he would hang around graveyards alone and write his thoughts, about whatever, in a little notepad--he liked watching stranger’s funerals from afar, too. He especially loves the feeling of graveyards at nighttime, it brings him comfort, making him feel close to the dead.

He’s, ykno, an atheist, but I think after extensively studying different religions and beliefs he has a fondness for them all, being a BIT spiritual himself and taking bits and pieces of religious beliefs in a different light for himself. Such as customs on eating, views on life/death, karma, etc. He’s not theistic by any means, but he likes the structure and meaning that psuedo-faith gives him.

His favorite color fluctuates between gold and red. :)) He likes the rich background of royalty in both of the colors; the irreplaceable shininess of gold and the gorey hue of red.

HE! LOVES! HIKING!!!!!! Whoever he’s travelling with is forced to hike the nearest large hill or small mountain with him wherever they are, this man is so lanky and beyond skinny but he loves to climb, his calves are SO TONED it’s UNREAL.

When they reach the top of the mountain, he refuses to take any photos, he loves to live as much in the moment as possible and has a near picture-perfect memory, he may lightly sketch out in a notepad whatever he sees when they reach their destination--but he doesn’t like digital pictures and would prefer his hiking buddy refrain from taking any as well.

Has too much of an attachment to the natural human body to get any tattoos, (still thinks they’re beautiful on other humans, self-expression is human nature afterall) but I do think he’d be a huge fan of piercings for himself--not that he’d even keep them in all the time, but he at least loves the process of it and needles in general.

Likes “feminine” things a lot due to being raised by his sister, and once he finally gets help regarding his trauma, I think he’d be determined to reclaim his makeup and skirts as a part of his own identity; stubbornly refusing to let the memory of his sister taint what he enjoyed so much. Maybe a little bit of non-binary Kiyo propaganda happening here. Who knows! runs away at mach speed

HAHAHHA okokokok I know that was kinda a bad starting lol. I don’t know if u need a scenario or anything but if u DO need one, could you do one where Max is just being annoying towards Steve and he just gets fed up? Haha sorry I’m asking for so much

ahdsgjs i do appreciate some sort of prompt, yes! it's totally fine, anon, it's def not much! I hope you like how it turned out!

***

Steve startles nearly half a foot in the air when the car door is wrenched open.

“Jesus Christ, what the– what are you doing?” He pulls his jacket out of the way just in time before Max throws herself into the passenger seat, bag quickly discarded to the floor, and slams the door shut hard enough to shake the whole vehicle. “Hey, hey, careful! What’s this, anyway? You can’t just go walking into people’s cars– what happened to stranger danger?”

It’s the last minutes of sunset, orange light fading into a quiet blueish dusk, and Spring is in full swing, April showers and all that. It beats down softly against the car roof now, pit-pattering drowned by the occasional traffic outside, and Steve frowns at the sky briefly before looking back at the little intruder, “seriously, what the hell?”

“Oh my god, Steve,” Max rolls her eyes, slouching in the seat, arms crossed, and glares up at him like he’s the one being weird here, “Dustin said you’d be here, I’m not waiting in the rain. You’re late, by the way.”

“Yeah, ‘cause they’re always late,” he answers almost out of reflex. Then, “wait, what did Dustin say?”

Apparently having deemed Steve not worthy of her full attention, Max turns to the glove compartment, opening it unceremoniously to rifle through his things. “That you’re giving us a ride to the diner. Don’t you have better tapes? I mean, Tears for Fears? Really?”

“Hey! There’s nothing wrong with– whatever, gimme that, stop going messing with my stuff–” he scowls, reaching to snap it shut. “Where’s your boyfriend, anyway? Isn’t it basketball day?”

“Where’s yours?” She fires back, then huffs, redirecting her glare to the high school outside. “Practice got canceled, he’s playing with the nerds instead.”

“I– what– you can’t just– ugh.”

The look she gives him is full of pity. “You sound like Mike.”

Steve clears his throat, running a hand through his hair. “Jeez, you’re really coming for the kneecaps today.”

“Are they always this late? I’ve been waiting for like, forever.”

Personally, Steve doesn’t know why she’s so surprised considering the everything about their friends. Of course they’re late, Dustin probably got distracted by something unimportant that probably made Eddie go off on a tangent and now Mike is probably frowning at nothing because that’s like, Will’s personal idea of heaven or something. “Dunno, man, it’s not like this is routine for me either.”

“Isn’t it, though?” 

“No, it isn’t,” he insists, “I’m just helping out ‘cause Nancy’s helping Robin with some school thing.”

“Are you, though?”

“Well, yeah! This is just a favor! This is not gonna be a thing, okay? Actually, this is probably the last time.”

“Is it, though?”

“I do have other stuff to do, alright? I’m not available 24/7 for you twerps to– to just– I don’t know, call for a ride or whatever.”

“Do you, tho–”

“Do not finish that sentence!”

Max can’t quite hide her giggles, laughter spilling out from between her fingers, and god fucking damn it, these kids will drive Steve into an early grave and they’ll probably give him a shitty funeral on top. Ugh, and it’s not like Steve can stay mad either, not when Max is finally opening up to them again, looking more like herself, like she’s fully there, not just a vacant shell floating in a current.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” he grumbles, but a smile is pulling valiantly at the corner of his lips, “see if I don’t kick you out.”

She doesn’t even have the decency to look a little bit cowed at least. “In this weather? Please, no, you wouldn’t.”

Yeah, no, he would never, but he’s saved by the bell from doubling down on his bluff. Movement outside catches his attention, and Steve cranes his neck to watch their so-very-late friends pause at the front doors, squinting at the rain still falling stubbornly before splitting in a mad dash for the cars. “Oh, thank god, finally.”

Will, Mike, and El skip after Eddie, loading into his van in an orderly manner, one after the other and probably like, buckling up their seatbelts out of their own volition. 

Steve, on the other hand, gets Dustin opening the passenger door and immediately arguing loudly with Max about shotgun rights while Lucas clambers into the backseat and then leans between car seats to also argue loudly that Max is right about everything, actually.

As he pulls out of the parking lot, Eddie waves cheerfully. After a beat, so does Will from the passenger seat. In their car, no one is screaming about shotgun for infinity.

Steve fights the urge to just walk out of the car and into the woods. 

“OKAY,” he yells above the cacophony, smugly pleased when they fall blessedly silent, “Max, stop goading him. Dustin, she’s right, she was here first, if you wanted to choose, then don’t be late next time, now get in the damn car and out of the rain– if you get a cold, I swear to god– Lucas, sit back down and put on your seatbelt. You two little shitheads, too.”

It’s like herding cats, Jesus. “Great, thank you. Now, Max. You can choose the music.”

“Hey, that’s not fair, I never got to choose when I was shotgun–”

Kate Bush starts wailing about Wuthering Heights as Steve turns the key, tuning out the shouting with a sadly practiced ease. Always the goddamn babysitter.

hi~ can i ask for hcs?

uhm older sister s/o with kids and deceased husband who died just a week ago? lmao i watched a hentai wherein the s/o is his older sister and she have two kids and a husband. i just thought of this since there are requests with bokuto being the older brother, now I want to know how bokuto and kuroo would corrupt their older sister. thanks so much bb!

I’ll admit this is a lot and I’ve never really considered onee-san with these boys, but there’s a first for everything! Also drop the deets anon-chan 🥴

Mission : Corrupting Onee-San !

Bokuto

> It was an unfortunate accident that caused your husband to die and really, you needed a lot of time to grieve for him. He was a good man and never mean to your or the kids, so his death really tore you apart. Your sisters offered to watch over your kids when you came back home, your son going to live with one while your daughter lived with the other.

> It was decided that was best and they’d visit you every weekend when they came home. You were the eldest, so you were the “favorite” amongst your sisters, but all of you were loved. Your mother coddled you and refused to let you live along after all that, especially in the house you had with your husband.

> This meant you’re home when Kōtarō is! He’s attending college and he’s almost always home and he gets to see you again! He’s missed you a lot and that’s his excuse for why he’s always around you. He’s usually not this overly touchy with his sisters, but you need comfort! Hugs and cuddles!

> It hurts him, though. The cries at night and the somber aura encompassing your body. It hurts him because you should be happy to see him! He understands your husband is no longer here, but that’s different.

> When your face glows up a bit when his nephew and niece come over, he gets a bit upset. He likes the kids, but they make you feel happy and he can’t. It’s a competition. He doesn’t want to lose.

> There’s no way he can compare to your husband, but he tries! He does things you mentioned your ex would do and tries to make you feel better. Eventually, it works. It’s a routine you’re used to.

> There’s a connection he feels when you open up again. You’re still grieving, but you’re confiding in him. You ask for hugs and don’t turn down cuddles, letting his arms wrap around you as you relax in his hold. It’s sweet and it’s completely innocent.. in your eyes.

> To Kōtarō, this means you’re finally understanding his feelings. He’s missed you for so long and now he has you back. When you try to leave, believing you to be fine and can go back home, it’s world shattering as he realizes it’s not what he thought.

> He makes it look like an accident, of course. A stranger running you off the road? With your children almost dying? Your daughter is in a critical condition and not expected to survive, another round of grief hitting you. Your son is better than his sister, but is put in the care of your mother as you grieve in silence.

> Kōtarō joins you, hoping to make sure you’re okay. It’s a sweet gesture, but you’re broken and alone. There’s no one to say what you’re doing is wrong, nor him. When the news of your daughter passing reaches you, Kōtarō is there to hold you and shush you, carrying you in his arms to the bedroom.

> If you’re so upset about your daughter passing, you can always have another child. He’ll replace the husband that left you. In your state, you had no energy to push him off of you nor to tell him it’s wrong. You just have to let it happen.

Kuroo

> Different situation. Your husband was an asshole who knocked you up in high school. Your father forced you to marry him and you had another daughter with him. It was an unfortunate situation, but the news of your husband in the hospital due to a damaged liver didn’t surprise you. Didn’t surprise you when the doctors said he’d most likely be dying in the next week.

> However, the bills and necessities that you needed to make were higher than expected. Not only that, but you needed to pay for his funeral “as the wife”, which forced your budget to strain. You were then treated as a horrible wife by others because “what kind of woman can’t pay for her husband’s funeral?”

> Your older sister is there to help you, but she mainly is there for moral support. Her own husband won’t let you live with them because it would strain them and you understand. Tetsurō is your only hope. Tetsu is rich now and has a secure job, but you worry. You haven’t seen or talked to him since your ex-husband, then boyfriend, got you pregnant.

> It was pitiful, really. Walking to his fancy house and knocking. You called him and he said he’d be home, so you could come on over. You felt like a hopeless little girl again, waiting for him. You should let him turn to you, not be turning to him for help.

> Tetsurō, on the other hand, is thriving. The asshole finally kicked the bucket and you’re free. He knew you’d be struggling and you’d need someone, so he of course would be there for you. He’d finally have his sister back in his life, the sister that was taken away from him. You were the only good family member he had, your father turning to the drinks when his divorce was settled. When you left, he really felt alone. But now you’re back.

> When he opens his arms to welcome you, you cry and sob as apologies spill out. How you’re weak, how you’re sorry for leaving him, everything that makes you feel worse and makes him feel worse as well. What matters is you’re here now. With him.

> your daughters don’t see Tetsu as their uncle, just “Tetsu” because that’s what you call him. He’s the positive father figure in their lives and that’s what matters. They get the loving family they needed and they get good education, they get to see you happy again.

> Well, happy as you can be. When Tetsu finds you drinking a bottle of alcohol per day, he gets real pissed. He lost his entire family to the bottle and he’s starting to lose the only sister that was there for him, he doesn’t like that. So, he enforces rules.

> You’re not allowed to drink, you need to be a good mother. No smoking, you could get lung cancer. No dating and bringing home random guys, he’s the positive male influence your children need. It’s just him being a caring brother! He wants the best for you!

> At least, that’s what it is at first. It’s him being protective of you. It’s him wanting to not lose you again. As he enforces rules, it’s hard to not see the parallels between him and your ex. The only difference is Tetsu is smart enough to force you into submission in privacy. Your daughters don’t see the ugliness behind closed doors.

> What would they think of him if they saw the bruises along your wrists and the hickeys on your skin? You won’t tell them because Tetsurō can easily pinpoint blame elsewhere. This isn’t the same as your ex. Tetsurō is much more powerful and possessive. He will keep you, no matter what.

Preventing the Fall - Bart Allen x Reader - Part Two

Part One

Requested by Anon -  Hello, can you make a part 2 to preventing the fall ? (The one with Bart Allen) I loved it

Requested by Anon -  Part two of ‘preventing the fall’

Requested by Anon -  Preventing the fall part 2?? Xx❤️

***

Bart wrung his hands as he sat on the bench next to Jay Garrick. His leg bounced at super-speed. Jay didn’t tell him to stop. In fact, Jay hadn’t said a word since he told Bart they were going to pick you up from the airport.

Two years had passed since you came to live with the Garricks and Bart. Living with you was great until you went away. Bart shivered, closing his eyes when he remembered the day you got the acceptance letter to go to an art school in San Francisco. He felt betrayed. You never told him you even applied to such a school and that you were planning on leaving. Part of him was terrified you would become the monster he had worked so hard to prevent you from becoming. At least that was what he thought he was terrified of.

However, you left anyway. You came back for breaks, but it wasn’t the same.

Bart glanced at Jay again, his foot bouncing even quicker now. Of course, you weren’t coming back for a break this time. His heart ached as he thought about something to say to get Jay to stop looking so moded. 

He opened his mouth to comment about the weather, but someone spoke first. “Sorry, I’m late. I was in the back of the plane,” you said, appearing in front of them with a backpack and suitcase in hand. 

Jay looked up, smiling at the sight of you. “(Y/N).” He got up and hugged you tightly. “I’m so glad you’re here.” You hugged him back with tears in your eyes. Bart watched, slightly jealous that you got such a reaction out of Jay. You met his eye from over Jay’s shoulder. One of your hands reached out toward Bart. He eyed the hand before slowly taking it and hugging Jay from behind. 

Jay’s shoulders shook, a sob slipping out. His arms tightened around you. You squeezed Bart’s hand. Bart sighed. Even though old feelings contradicted otherwise, Bart realized he was glad you had come home.

***

Bart laid in his bed, strangely motionless. He normally buzzed around his room until he was tired enough to pass right out, but today he was trying to be quiet for Jay. Jay went to bed right after dinner.

He sighed, rolling onto his side to stare at his wall. You put Jay in a better mood, something Bart couldn’t do. He closed his eyes. At least that confirmed you didn’t become a monster while you were gone. 

A soft knock on his door made him flinch. He zoomed to the door and opened it to find you. “Yes?” You jumped slightly in surprise before relaxing.

“Can I come in?” you whispered, biting your lip. Bart saw you were wearing his old pajamas. The ones he gave you to wear so long ago. “I don’t want to be alone.” He looked into your eyes and couldn’t refuse.

“Sure.” He zoomed back into his room to turn on a lamp and lounge on his bed with a comic in hand. Pretending to read, he watched as you entered and closed the door behind you.

You came over to sit at his desk. He swallowed hard while you looked around the room. “I didn’t think you would have a Space Trek 3016 poster.”

“Well, Gar gave it to me. It’s crash,” Bart mumbled, still eyeing you. 

“I only watched a few episodes, but Gar seems happy.” You bit your lip, finally meeting Bart’s eye. “I heard about the Outsiders. You’ve been doing a good job.” 

“Thanks.” His patience snapped suddenly and Bart zoomed off his bed to stand in front of you. “What are you doing in here?” He narrowed his eyes, annoyed with small talk.  

Your eyes widened in surprise at Bart’s reaction. “I guess I just wanted to make sure you are okay. With Joan gone...I just wanted to know if you’re okay, because...I don’t think I’m okay.” A tear slipped down your cheek. Bart’s stomach dropped to his feet.

“You left.” Bart’s voice became almost unrecognizable even to himself. The anger and betrayal floated to the surface. He couldn’t stop himself. “You left us and ran off to some school. You don’t have the right to be moded. We get to be moded, because we were here!” Bart shouted the last word. You flinched away from him. 

“I didn’t leave. I called all the time, and Joan wanted me to go. Jay wanted me to go. I couldn’t stay here, Bart. I’m sorry.” You gasped through a sob, unable to turn away from him.

“Shut up!” Bart swung around to kick a stray shoe lying on his floor. It flew at super speed and smashed into the wall. A dent was left behind, but Bart didn’t care. 

You stiffened, covering your face with your hands. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.” Sobs shook your body. Bart watched you, panting heavily. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

“What the hell is going on?!” Jay snapped, barging into the room. He froze when he saw you crying and Bart standing over you. “Bartholomew Allen, what have you done?!” 

“It’s not his fault.” You got to your feet. Wiping your tears with your sleeve, you started toward the door. “I came here and bothered him. I’m sorry.” 

Jay trapped you in a hug before you could leave. He whispered something in your ear that Bart couldn’t hear. The shock from his outburst was quickly replaced by jealousy and anger again. 

You left Jay’s arms and went back to your room. Once your door closed, Jay turned to Bart. “I know you’re grieving, Bart, and I know you feel (Y/N) betrayed you by going to school far away, but you don’t need to act out now.” He ran a hand through his hair. “We’re all hurting from losing...” He took a shaky breath. “Joan, but that’s it, we’re all hurting. So I ask you to try to keep it under control.” 

Bart’s shoulders sank as the anger left him. He couldn’t be mad at Jay. “Yes, I’ll try to be more crash.” 

Jay smiled. He clapped a hand on Bart’s shoulder. “Thank you. Now, go to bed. We have to be up early tomorrow for the...funeral.” Jay squeezed his shoulder before leaving the room. Bart ached to see him shuffle away like an old man that Bart often forgot he was.

“Moded,” Bart mumbled, closing his door again. He paced the room at super speed for what felt like hours before eventually passing out on his bed. 

***

Bart sighed, looking up at the cloudy sky above as the preacher rambled on. The funeral had been nice, but much too long for Bart’s standards. Besides, you were distracting him the whole time with the pretty outfit you were wearing. He knew it was wrong to be distracted at a time like this and he was angry with you, but he couldn’t stop himself.

“You alright, hermano?” Jaime asked once the preacher finished and people started to go back to their cars. 

“Feeling the mode.” Bart watched Jay lay his hand on the coffin. You were beside him with your arm through his. He was glad you were comforting Jay when he couldn’t. Joan’s death was hard. He didn’t know how to feel. It hurt, but he knew it was coming. He was grateful Joan’s death was more peaceful than it had been in the future he came from.

“It’s nice that (Y/N) could make it.” Jaime crossed his arms. 

“She is really pretty like you said,” Traci whispered with a frown. “I can’t believe she killed you in the...old...future.” She wrinkled her nose. “What do we call that? Bart’s future? Old future? Past future?”

Bart sighed. “We can call it nothing.” He turned away, heading back to the car. His stomach hurt.

“Hey, wait up.” Jaime ran to catch up with him. “You’re not still mad at (Y/N) for leaving, are you? This is not the time for pettiness, ese.” 

“Petty?” Bart snapped, zipping around to face Jaime. Traci played with her phone several paces away. “Why the hell would you say that now?”

“Because you are being petty, hermano. (Y/N) went off to school a year and a half ago and ever since you have been mad at her.” Jaime shook his head. He narrowed his eyes. “I know you felt betrayed, but you are in love with her. The whole time she was gone, you were always dropping her name, saying you were mad. You weren’t mad though. You just missed her.” 

“Shut up!” Bart threw his hands up in the air. His entire body vibrated. Jaime took a step back. “So maybe I was moded when she left, but it wasn’t because I missed her! It’s because I’m scared to death that she’ll become the monster from the future! The one who killed you, and hundred more!” 

Jaime’s eyes went over Bart’s shoulder. Bart turned at superspeed before stopping cold when he saw you and Jay standing behind him. Jay shook in anger. The blood drained out of your face. Your eyes were so wide. Bart’s heart shattered to pieces.

“Bart, now is not the time for this,” Jay snapped, coming toward him. “I understand this is hard. It’s hard for all of us, but this is not the time nor place to bring this up.” 

A blush of embarrassment came over Bart’s cheeks. His eyes never left you. You stared back at him, frowning and shaking your head. “I can’t believe you haven’t figured it out,” you whispered, causing Jay to look back at you. 

“(Y/N), go to the car.” Jay gestured to the car. You shook your head.

“I’ll walk.” You turned away and started walking away. “I need to be alone for a while.” 

Jaime ran after you, trying to talk to you. “I’m feeling the mode. What is she talking about?!” Bart exploded, vibrating. Barry and Iris noticed something was happening. Iris stayed with the twins while Barry came over.

“What’s wrong?” Barry asked. Jay explained it to him. Bart couldn’t listen to them as he watched Jaime try to talk to you. He saw you turn to Jaime with tears in your eyes. You held up your hand, gesturing to Bart. Jaime’s shoulders slumped and he came back to Bart’s side. You kept walking off until you disappeared into the woods on the edge of the cemetery. “Jay, take Bart home. I’ll see if I can catch up with (Y/N),” Barry said, snapping Bart’s attention back to him.

Jay nodded, looking very tired. He put a hand on Bart’s shoulder. “Come on, Bart. Jaime, you and your girlfriend can come too.” They headed to the car. Bart glanced over his shoulder to see Barry disappear into the woods after you. He frowned, moded over what he hadn’t figured out. 

***

Hours passed as slowly as years for Bart. Jaime and Traci left to go look for you after the first hour when Barry called to say he lost you. Jay sat in the kitchen, staring down at a cup of coffee. It had gone cold long ago, but Jay didn’t notice. Bart buzzed around the house, messing things up only to clean them up again. 

“Bart, stop,” Jay said when Bart buzzed to pull all the dishes out of the cupboard again. “We need to talk.” Bart zoomed to sit opposite of Jay, fidgeting. 

“I know. I’m already feeling the mode.” Bart zoomed over to dump out the old coffee and start a new pot. He went back to his seat before Jay could blink. Jay shook his head. He hadn’t used his speed ever since Joan died. “I know I shouldn’t have blown up at the funeral. I’m sorry.” 

Jay sighed, narrowing his eyes. “We should have talked about (Y/N) before...but now is a better time as any.” 

Bart watched the coffee drip in the coffee pot. His leg bounced, humming against the floor due to how fast he was moving. “We don’t need to talk about (Y/N). It doesn’t matter. We’re crash.” 

“No, you’re not. You haven’t been since (Y/N) left.” Jay tapped his coffee cup. He started to take a drink, but stopped when he realized how cold it was. “(Y/N) wanted to leave and it wasn’t because of you.” 

Bart’s blood went cold. “How could it not be? She didn’t tell me until she got the letter.” His hands shook, becoming a blur. “Wally had died only a few months before and then she was going too. Maybe I was too annoying or I scared her off?”

Jay smiled tightly. “I knew you weren’t upset because you were worried (Y/N) would turn out to be the person she was in your future.” The coffee machine beeped. Bart zoomed, taking Jay’s cup. He dumped the cold coffee in the sink and refilled it. He put it in front of Jay and sat back in his seat. “Thank you, Bart.” Jay reached over to pat Bart’s arm. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, son.” 

“Probably drink cold coffee.” Bart’s heart glowed at being called son. Jay laughed for the first time in a long time. The sound was music to Bart’s ears. 

“Probably.” Jay took a sip. His eyes lit up at the taste. “This must be the special coffee (Y/N) brought back from San Francisco. She gave us some for Christmas and promised to bring us some more next time she came home.” He frowned. “Of course, I hoped it wouldn’t be for something like this.” 

Bart bit his lip. He waited for Jay to continue, but Jay just stared into his coffee cup. The front door opened. Bart jumped to his feet and dashed out only to stop in his tracks. You glanced at Bart before taking off your coat. “I’ll see you later, (Y/N),” Dick Grayson said from the doorstep. You nodded at him and closed the door. 

“What was that about?” A lump grew in Bart’s throat. An odd feeling came over him as he thought about you and Dick Grayson together. He blinked, realizing this was the first time that he saw you and didn’t feel betrayal rotting his gut. 

You sighed, giving that amused look he didn’t realize he missed so badly. His eyes watered. “He gave me a ride home after he found me at where the cave used to be.” You hung up your coat. Jay burst into the room and trapped you in a hug.

“Thank goodness. You gave us a scare, (Y/N).” Jay kissed the top of your head. You patted his back. 

“I’m sorry.” You met Bart’s eye over Jay’s shoulder. “I needed some time to think.”

“It’s alright now that you’re back.” Jay pulled away to study your face. “I’m going to heat up some of those casseroles people dropped off.” He glanced over at Bart. “The two of you need to talk and I want you to figure out what’s going to happen from now on. Whatever the problem is, you’re going to fix it.” Jay went back into the kitchen. 

You looked at Bart for a moment. Bart’s heart skipped a beat. It had been a long time since you did that to him. Back in the days before he got to know you, he always thought about how deadly beautiful you looked in the future. The moment that always popped into his head was when you killed Blue Beetle. Now, all he could think was the day you said you were coming to live with him and the Garricks permanently. 

“Well, I guess we can sit down.” You went to the couch and sat. Bart raced to sit next to you, but made sure to leave a generous amount of space between you. He glanced at you, waiting. However, you kept staring at your feet. 

Bart’s patience ran thin. He tapped his leg on the floor fast enough for it to hum. A minute passed so slowly, Bart was convinced he had aged three years. His words burst out of him. “What did I not figure out?” 

You sighed, eyeing him carefully. “That I had to leave. Why I had to leave.” A tear slipped down your cheek. Bart had to stop himself from brushing it away with his thumb. 

“You didn’t have to leave. That was the point. I was moded when you left.” Bart jumped to his feet, vibrating. “And you didn’t tell me! You didn’t say anything until you knew you were going!” 

“I had to leave because I knew about your future!” Bart froze, shocked you shouted back at him. “I knew about what I would become, and how I killed Jaime! I couldn’t stay here knowing that!” More tears ran down your cheeks. “Damn it, Bart! How could you be so blind? Joan and Jay knew why I needed to leave, but you never figured it out! You just stayed mad, and I lost my best...friend.” You slumped against the couch, sobbing hard. 

Bart shivered, sinking down onto the couch next to you. His knee brushed yours. You didn’t react. “How did you find out? I was so careful not to spill the beans.” 

A shaky gasp escaped you. “I overheard Jay telling Joan the day you first brought me here after I...almost shot that man.” You bit your lip, wiping away tears with the back of your hands.

“You knew the whole time?” Bart ran his hand through his hair. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Because I didn’t want this.” You gestured between yourself and Bart. “The tension, I didn’t want you to act like I was a ticking time bomb. You never did until I went away, then it happened anyway.” You grabbed a tissue from the coffee table to try and mop up your face.

The blood drained from Bart’s face. “I’m totally feeling the mode.” He groaned, rolling his head against the back of the couch. “I’m sorry, (Y/N)...for everything.” He jumped to his feet, pacing because he couldn’t keep still. “I thought maybe you couldn’t stand to be here with me. I thought you hated me, and you left to get away from me.” 

“No.” You shook your head. “I do...care about you, Bart. I needed time.” You gulped for air, a sob threatening to spill out again. “I know now that I won’t become who I was in your future-past or whatever we call it. Dick helped me see that.” 

Bart wrinkled his nose. His entire body vibrated. “Dick? You call him Dick now?” The odd feeling from before returned and he realized it was jealousy. 

“Yes, he wanted to apologize to me, and make sure I got home safe.” You blinked at Bart, frowning in confusion. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous, Bart.” 

“No. I’m crash.” Bart waved his hand. “Nope, not me. Don’t even know what that is.” 

You snorted. “Sure.” Getting to your feet, you held out your hand for Bart. “Can we go back to how things were before I left?” Your eyes pleaded with him. 

Bart’s heart melted into a puddle. He took your hand tightly. “Crash.” He zoomed, kissing your cheek so fast that you wouldn’t notice. You laughed.

“Good, because I missed you.” You pulled Bart toward the kitchen where the smell of the casseroles floated from. “You know you could have come visit me anytime. It’s only like a minute run for you.” 

Bart hummed, not sure what to say. He squeezed your hand. For the first time in a long time, he felt at home again.

casual anon checkup how you doin

Let’s see, well we just breached 4am, and the sense of urgency to complete some school work has finally kicked in. I got my laptop propped up on the kitchen counter, and I just finished making some houseblend coffee that I loaded with milo powder for “health” purposes. Gotta finish up this AP Stat quiz while pretending I have some semblance of what the hell is going on in the class that I don’t pay attention to. I got my fancy bluetooth headphones that I connect with the wire anyway because I don’t like using up the battery, and I’ve had this acoustic cover of Solitary Warrior Revali looped for a few minutes now--I need those soft vibes to distract me from my thoughts about how the only reason I’ve been so sluggish with my work overall is probably due to years of ingrained perfectionism and inability to adapt my standards to the currently circumstances of the world along with my slightly declining mental health so you know--music’s nice. 

Oh! And my dad got me this electric coaster (as pretentious as that sounds, I know. Leave me and my not-cold drinks alone ok) for the holidays and it matches with my favourite mug that I’m drinking from right now so, it’s the little things :3 Plus, not to derail myself from my school life intentionally, I’ve been working on this sheet music for one of my songs for a few weeks now and it’s starting to actually sounds pretty decent so yaay!! Probably won’t share it for a long time though...I’ve really been only working on it on and off again when I have “free time” [which may or may not just be my online class gym period hey you can’t prove anything to the cops]

Uhhh what else can I shove in here...”How you doin” pfft, I don’t really know how to make this ask funny or entertaining. Well I’ve nearly finished up this zine piece about the Royal Tech Lab so that’s fun (shameless plug for the Memorabillia Zine) aaand, I’m picking my kalimba again to learn Mipha’s theme. About time, cause I have to record shit for the [REDACTED] project I’m working on >:) heh. Oh fucking SHIT now that I think about it I have like three different secret projects I’m working on huh...haven’t even finish the script for that damn au...OK what it, right, “how am I doing” well, I’m doing everything and nothing currently, if that makes any sense. Your possible regrets about sending this to me aside, it feels good to just lay everything on a plate, shit out a post, and then never talk or acknowledge it ever again. It’s like birds, you know how they just take a ten pound shit in the mourning and never look back? (That way they don’t need to go during the rest of the day) That’s what this is, just a giant load of bullshit that I’m gonna set out at 5am and then never look at again. 

You know as unhealthy as it sounds I really do dedicate a lot of time to this blog and this fandom. I mean sure not all of it (arguably any of it) is productive, but hey it’s something. The fuck else am I gonna do with my time...you wake up, you slam your keyboard awake to show up to online class, you take a nap, you spend a few hours keeping up the cishetallo gifted student appearance to your parents and then spend the rest of your time finding enough serotonin on the internet to make your brain work. Hell if I’ve talked to another human being in real life all year. Even my parents just kinda talk about the news and “how was class” during dinner which lasts like 10 minutes. My dad just kinda pisses off to work as soon as breakfast is made, and my mom just kinda stays in her office until everyone’s back and she makes dinner. Wait, that’s a lie, she does talk to me on Sunday mornings when she informs me of how I’ve ruined her day before church. So you know I do prefer it that way anyhow, why the hell would I want to talk with them when I got perfectly entertaining internet companions. What’s a “what scholarship programs are you doing?” to a *checks notifications*, “why are Rito fingers like that if they molt to they just lose the ability to--” god fucking dammit...

So! What were we saying--how am I doing? Welp. Guess it’s up for interpretation cause I sure as hell don’t know the answer to that. The hell would you do with the answer anyway. Pity points, praise points? I don’t particularly care for either. God I just realized you introduced yourself as “casual anon,” HA....apologies this is the opposite of casual isn’t it. Or, well maybe it isn’t. I’m the one just having a nice little chitchat with myself as I sip through my mug o’ caffeine. I might have to add a keep reading bar to this so I don’t blog up the dash, but also that would be ironically humorous to see for such a stupidly small question huh. Idk, contrary to popular belief I don’t have a spine so I’m probably not gonna unload all this shit on my followers like that out of the blue. Hell I’d be surprised if I actually posted this. Then again...5am and vibin with bad decision making.....plus the sentiment of putting something out to be seen is always nice.

You ever watch Bojack Horseman? Fantastic show, it’s just on a whole ‘nother level when it comes to writing. And yeah, I probably should have been watching it in the first place, BUT.............yeah ok there’s real excuse I probably shouldn’t be watching it/have watched it. But there’s this one episode in Season 4 I think? It’s where Bojack gives a eulogy for his mother’s funeral and the entire episode is just that, it’s just this giant monologue of him giving his eulogy. And that episode always facinated me because it is probably the most interesting episode in the entire show and one of my favourites, and like...how did they do that?? How did they make twenty minutes of talking so engaging and entertaining? I mean, yeah, I could probably analyze the pacing and structure to find the answer, and hell if I’ve watch my share of youtube video essays on the subject. But like, just the entire concept that someone had the idea to make 20 minutes of talking an entire episode....that’s just insane (forgive the language). 

It’s one thing to want to talk about yourself for a long time and be interesting, but to pour all kinds of energy to make some made-up fictional character talk about THEMselves for a long period of time...is that sad? Or maybe it’s respectable. /to make an audience care more about something that’s not real rather than you. Well, perhaps that’s selfish thinking. 

Oh! You know what, I just got this super nice message from someone the other day about a Raybands giveaway. Obviously, I’m not in the need for sunglasses during this day and age so I kindly declined and ignore the offer, but it got me thinking: how liked to you have to be in order to sway someone to clicking a random link. Like I’m talking about your friends or something, but like, if you opened your door oneday and Mr. Rogers was there selling clementines, would you buy them? Or if Lin Manuel Miranda offered you a vaccum, would you buy it? What’s the standard of known niceness that constitutes to you complying with what they’re asking? I sure would like to know....not for manipulation purposes but just for...idk, just having that tangibility of something. 

Ah well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw how am i doing. Well I’ll tell you what I’m doing, I’m procrastinating. Procrastinating on work and wips and conversations and dilemmas. You don’t fail all the shots you don’t take afterall *wink wink* aaand for legal reasons that was a joke. Idk, you tell me how I’m doing, fuck if I know. According to this empty mug, I’m doing well, but I also will be doing a piss in the bathroom probably.

Tumblr had a new update for the anon asks. Look what I can do now.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Yeah! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Can you believe this is happening? - I can't believe it. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Barry why don't you use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. And a perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got some lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. It's special day, finally graduating. Never thought I'd make it. Yeah!, three days grade school, three days high school. Those were so awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took off one day in the middle and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Hey, Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hey, did you hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to his funeral? - No, I'm not going to his funeral. Everybody knows, you sting someone, you die. You don't waste it on a squirrel. He was such a hothead. Yeah! I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement right park into our regular day. I guess, that's why they say we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of... ...9:15. And that concludes our graduction ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Are we going to pick our job today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it's going to be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we also constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. And here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. can anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job that you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? And you'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" Adam, how could you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we

only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Barry, why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. Yeah, but, Adam, did you ever think that maybe things work a little too well around here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. check it out. - Hey, Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where those guys have just been. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can't just decide one day to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will ever see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. I think bees make too of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - couple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have some fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. One time a bear had me pinned up against a mushroom! He had one paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me back and forth across the face! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. And what were you doing during this? Obviously, I was trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that if you want. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. You know, we're going hit a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! It's a puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. Have you decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Dad, do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you something about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. And you were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Well no... Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait untill you see the sticks I have for you. I could say anything I want right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some fresh honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. To honey! Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and start call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - I can't believe we're starting work today! - Today's the day. come on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! And one of them's yours! Congratulations. son! Step to the side please. Yeah! - What did you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! couple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Well, step up and make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant is always open, and not for the reason you think. - Any

chance of getting on to the Krelman Sir? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. And the Krelman opened up again. What happened? Well, wheneever, a bee died. That's an opening. See that? He's dead. dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. But that's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine. Geranium window box on Sutton Place... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. You're cra If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Well, look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, just babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - You ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power, kid. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. cool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? copy that visual. Hold on. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this colour. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. chemical-y. careful, guys. It's a little grabby. Oh, my sweet lord of bees! Hey, candy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! coming in at you like a missile! Help me! You know, I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can just start packing up, honey, because I believe you're about to eat it! What! No? Oh, you cannot be serious! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you

don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I've got to get home. can't fly in rain. can't fly in rain. can't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, can you close the window please? Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? It folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favourite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I walk out of a job interview, they're flabbergasted, they can't believe the things what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I gotta tell ya, I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Kill it! Kill it! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Well, why does his life have any less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of them But you know it's an allergic thing. Hey why don't you put that on your resume brochure. It's not funny m​​​y whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. You know, knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Yeah! sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You can put carob chips on there. - Good night. - Supposed to be less calories or something. - Bye. I've got to say something. She saved my life. I've got to say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Come on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. I know. You're talking! I know, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine, It's just.. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, you know, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. Well, yeah! I mean, this is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! Yeah, I am a bee. And you know I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I mean, I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. Anyway... And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. And I'm going to leave now. - Wait! wait, wait, How did you learn to do that? - What? That- that- that- that... The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... can I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. coffee? Well, uh, I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. unless you're making it anyway. ​​​​ It takes two minutes. Really! - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want a little rum cake? - I really shouldn't. - Have a little rum cake. - No, no, no, I can't. -

Come on! You know, I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms here. - Where? - Well... These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. Yeah! And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Huh-huh Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? Yeah, that's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So anyway, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! You know the Turtle Pond! Yes! I'm right off of that! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. Really? Yeah! - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Well, why not? - I don't know. It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? can I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. Well, he's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive around real crazy. - And do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. Look, you did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see out there. You had your "experience." And now you're back you can pick out your job and everything can be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You met someone? Was she Bee-ish? - Not a wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - You know, I'm not attracted to spiders. I know to everyone else it's like the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. Oh no, no. no, no. That didn't happen. You didn't do that. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! No, no, no! You're dating a human florist! W-w-well, we're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, you're talking to humans beings that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - That was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - Do you know what a cinnabon is? - No. It's bread Come in here and cinnamon Be quiet! and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking

bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I've got to start thinking bee? Barry, how much longer is this going to go on? It's been three days! I don't understand why you're not working? Well, I've got a lot of big life decisions I'm thinking about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to just make a little honey? Barry, come out from under here. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! You go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here, Barry. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to when you yell at him! - Then why are you yelling at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, Mom, I've got to go. - Where are you going? - Nowhere I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. So they have a huge parade of just flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. Wow, a tournament. Do the roses actually compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? Isn't that faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! What, you don't have anything like that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must just want to sting all those jerks. We really try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you really have to watch your temper. Oh yeah! very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. You work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. Well, he's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. Boy, you've really got that down to a science. - Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? cute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. Why! You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes we. - How do you even get it? - Well, bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, and cooling, and stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, our schools, our hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm going to get to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you're going start talking! Where are you getting all the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't know what you're talking about. I thought we were all friends. The last thing we want to do is upset any of you... bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, are about to be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me

where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! crazy person! Oh my, What horrible thing has happened here? Look at these faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? Oh man, They will wipe anything that moves. Now, where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - What about you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - It's a wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. SPELLING MISTAKES BELOW But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Hey, what's up, bee boy? Hey, Blood. And it was just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! So I'm just assuming this honey truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - Well, we're all jammed in there. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every-every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You have got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? Then, we throw it in some jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Hey, check out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. How did you two get here? Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done to us! and I intend to do something about it. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you that humans are taking our honey? That's just a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. Barry, how did you get mixed up in this? Cause, he's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. Oh Barry. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Who's side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Man, those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop them. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, Barry. what could one bee do? I'm going to sting them where it really hurts. In the face! In the eye! - That would

really hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it really matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Chung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Chung. Our top story, a tri-county bee, Barry Benson, is saying he intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Don't forget tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we're going have three former queens all right here in our studio, discussing their new book, Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm just a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Larry, bees have never been afraid to change the world. I mean, what about Bee Columbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Well, where I'm from, you wouldn't think of suing humans We were thinking more like stickball or candy stores. How old are you? Well, I want you to know that they entire bee community is supporting you in this case, which is certain to be the trial of the bee century. Thank you Larry, You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week on Bee Larry King... No I mean he looks like you and he has a show with suspenders and different colored dots behind him... Next week on Bee Larry King... Old guy glasses, and there's quotes along the bottom from the guest you're watching even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, they're hairy and they're here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. Look, i-in tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! But, it was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. Wha! - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again, hun? Listen, you better go because we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me anyway? Bees have good qualities. Si certo And it feels good to take my mind off the shop. I don’t know why instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Yeah! those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, they just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. The bent stingers, the pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake plastic things! There's nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Well, maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - You know, Barry this lawsuit is a pretty big deal. - I guess. Are you sure that you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! Sarah, it's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where all eyes and ears of the world are anxiously waiting, because for the first time in history, we're going to hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? I don't know but it's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't have to be at work during the day. Hey, you think these billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team.

Any of you boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Case number 4475, Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you are representing the five major food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you are representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. And Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we were to live in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what it would mean. Maybe I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. And as a bee honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take whatever they want from us 'cause we're the little guys! And what I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only taking away everything we have but everything we are! I wish he would dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, Pretty big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I Have to say, I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. And not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. Well, they're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. Yeah, you mean like this? Bears kill bees! How would you like his big hairy head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. I have to say - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer of any kind, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture being casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first may, I offer my belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I also see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome but with a churning inner turmoil that's always ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you Mr Liotta? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this little creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! Well, I just think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that.

I'm telling you I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, you know, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Yeah! Oh, that was lucky. Well, there's stil a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. I find the ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? Hey, look I know how hard it is trying to find the rightjob. We certainly have that in common. Do we? Well, bees have 100 percent employment of course, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to go drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life any more valuable than mine? It's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. Yeah! How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, look at me! I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know what, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm so sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you going to be OK for the trial tomorrow? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Now that's good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the very best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've got weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry Mr Gammil. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. - How good? - What? Do you live together? Wait a minute this isn't about... Are you her little... ...bedbug? Hey, that’s not the kind of I've seen a bee documentary or two. Now from what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children in the hive? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't even your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! And don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going

to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! - The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! - Please Mr Montgomery. I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? Please! I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn - against the bees yesterday when one of their - Thank you! legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. Now here’s Don with the 5-day. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. The important thing is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria they got it from downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was that like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think that was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What do you think the humans will do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Say, could you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. Adam, that's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? No, Get up, Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. You get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. You know, Bees are trained to fly kind of haphazardly, and as a result, quite offen we don't make very good time. I actually once heard a pretty funny story about a bee... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer are we going to allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who have all run perfectly legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Members of the jury, look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to these smoke machines in man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! Yay! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! Vanessa, Do you know what this means? All the honey is going finally going to belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret

this. Barry, how much honey do you think is out there? All right. All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What are you demand as a settlement? First, we're going to demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, big-headed bad-breath stink machine. I believe We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting down honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on around here? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - No, they're just home. They don't know what to do. They're laying out, they're sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Yeah, but sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... And now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. We have so much now. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And who's fault do you think that is? You know, I'm going to guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I guess I didn't think that bees not needing to make honey would affect all these others things. And it's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. Well, that's our whole SAT test right there. So you take away the produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? And I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How would we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down?

Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. and I wanted to help you with your flower shop. Intead. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. Nonetheless I have another idea, and it's greater than all my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, here what I'm thinking they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we got do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Alright Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. That's nice brooch by the way. Thank you. It was a gift. Then once we're inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? Yeah! I could be the princess, and ... yes I think you could be I've- the pea! Yes, I got it. - Sorry I'm late Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It's supposed to be under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm going to go talk to the marshall. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby will do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. And once we're at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - Did you and your insect pack your own float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes and everything in your pockets? - Can you remove your stinger. Sir?. - That's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is going to work Vanessa. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. I'm afraid we have a bit of bad weather in the New York area. And looks like we're going to be experience a couple of hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I've got get up there and talk to these guys. Be careful. Hey, can I get some help with this Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable travel pool filter. Excuse me! Excuse me! captain, I am in a real situation here. - What'd you say, Hal? - I didn't say anything. Bee! No! no! Don't freak out! There's a chance my entire species... What are you doing? Stop! - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain speaking. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? I tried to talk to them but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Is there anyone onboard who has flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait a minute, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from

JFK Airport, where a very suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh off his stunning legal victory... That's Barry! ...is now attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! Well, we have a electrical storm in the area and two individuals at the controls jumbo jet with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute Mr Ditchwater. There's a honey bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson's work and his no-account compadres. Haven't they done enough damage already. But isn't he your only hope right now? Come on, technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. The wings are too small their body are too big... Hey hold on a second, Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass doesn't make sense." - Get this on the air! - You got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. Mr Ditchwater, the way we work may be a mystery to you. Because making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you something about a small job. If you do it really well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to doing what we do working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. You know what! This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait a minute, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! Well then it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I would do, and you copy me with the wings of the plane! You don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We happen to be in a lot of trouble here. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I don't think I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together Listen to me. You have got to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! You snap - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Hey Benson, have you got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, you two what do you say we drop this tin can on the blacktop. What Blacktop? Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. But it's strong, and it's pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose of the plane down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. - Cut the engines. - Cut the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready boys? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant black and yellow pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Bring your tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This is the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid of

it. Smell it. Full reverse! Easy just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius man Genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're going to survive as a species, this is our moment! So, what do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! Yay! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I got to do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate here will be able to help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? Ma'am I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order for a wedding, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? Who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Alright, hold it. hold it. hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision in the middle of a huge musical production number! All right. All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

I’m genuinely crying

23. “Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”24. “I can’t believed you talked me into this.” for Deku please

A/N: WOW I’M SORRY, this has been in my ask box forever. I feel terrible, so whoever you are anon, I’M SORRY AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS!

Title: All in the Name of Pranks

Pairing: Izuku Midoriya x Reader

23. “Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while...” 24. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”

Izuku Midoriya!:

Everyone knew who you were and what you did, you really didn’t bother trying to hide it. So it came as no surprise when you came up to Izuku with a so called ‘plan’, a wicked grin on your lips.

“Please Izuku?”

“I don’t know (y/n)...” You pouted up at him and he knew he was a goner, did you know how hard you had him wrapped around your finger? 

“(y-y/n)...” He whined, even though he knew he’d already follow whatever you would do, he hoped that maybe you would decide against it?

“Great! Thanks Izu, let’s get to work!”

Of course that was a stupid hope, it’s like you had pranking in your blood.

You had to do it.

You knew it was wrong, always up to no good, but you honestly couldn’t help yourself. It was so much fun, and all of your pranks were harmless anyways. The only person who didn’t think so was probably your teacher, as well as the main target of tonight's latest joke;

The one and only, the grumpy kid, 

Katsuki Bakugou.

You knew your boyfriend wasn’t too comfortable with pranks in general, but you’ve dragged him into things before and you could tell he’s had fun!

You had spoken the plan, and Izuku still looked hesitant but he had agreed to help with the busy work nonetheless. You snuck onto the boys side of the floor, heading to Bakugou’s dorm, knowing he was out training with Kirishima and he wouldn't be back till later. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Izuku whispered, looking around to make sure they wouldn’t get caught as your picked the lock on Katsuki’s door. Years of pranking came in handy after all it seemed.

“Of course, I never back down from a challenge.”

“Sweetie, no one challenged you-”

“Shhhhhh no distractions.”

Izuku couldn’t help but chuckle, you really did look too cute to be upset at. Your tongue was peeking out between your lips, and brows furrowed. You made a noise of triumph as you heard the click of the door, and pushed him inside.

“Let’s get to work! I’ll cover this side of the room if you want to get the other.” You handed Izuku a bunch of sticky note pads, and he looked at them with another laugh.

“Jeez love, how much did you pay for these? You know he’s just going to destroy them..”

“One cannot put a price on a good prank, now hurry babe we have a ton of things to cover!”

You started putting the stickies on any and every surface you could. You wanted the entire room to be covered in these, custom made sticky notes that had “Lord Explosion Murder” printed on them. 

You cracked yourself up. 

Before long you had managed to cover a decent amount of the room, thanks to Izuku’s help it was going a lot faster than you had planned, but what you hadn’t planned for..

“(y/n)? Are you sure you want to cover his entire bed?”

“I’m positive, the walls and his desk just aren’t enough!”

“Won’t you run out of stickies?”

“I have a ton Izuku.”

“SHUT IT SHITTY HAIR, I’M NOT FUCKING FORGETFUL.”

You and Izuku shared a look of fear, hearing the owner of the room stomp louder till he was right outside the door. You quickly grabbed your boyfriend and rushed him into Bakugou’s closet with you. 

“I thought you said we had time!” Izuku panicked, voice barely above a whisper.

“He wasn’t supposed to be here for another hour!” You hissed back, voice matching his as you were trying to shut the closet door as quietly as you could.

“Oh my God, he’s going to find us! Then he’ll murder me! I can’t believe you talked me into this.”

“SH he’ll hear you!”

You close the door and put your hand over Izuku’s mouth just as the front door of the room opened. You held your breath, scared he’d hear your thumping heart and loud breathing. Even though you were nervous, you were so excited because now you were able to see his reaction up front.

“What the fuck?” 

You held back your laughs, the slits in the door provided just enough of his face to see how far his jaw had dropped. Dropping your hand from your boyfriend's mouth, you leaned forward to catch a better look.

“What the fuck is this shit!?” You watched as he took a sticky note from the desk and examine it in his hands.

“Lord explosion murder.. Oh those fuckers are going to be murdered alright-SHITTY HAIR DID YOU HELP THOSE DUMBASSES WITH THIS?” He stomped out of the room and you let a snicker out. 

Izuku was practically shaking in nerves, not only was he going to get an earful from Katsuki if he found out, but he was hiding in his closet for goodness sake!

“Oh gosh babe we gotta go-” The slamming of the door cut him off as he held his breath, watching Katsuki come back inside with Kirishima.

“Oh dude! This is hilarious, are you sure it was Kaminari?”

“Who the fuck else would it be?”

“Kaminari isn’t this.. Creative though? This level of time and care seems to be too well done to be him bro, I don’t know.” 

“... FUCKING (L/N)!” 

You smiled up at Izuku who only looked down in fear.

“Here, let’s get this cleaned up before we go alright?”

“Tch. Once I get my hands on that loser loving prankster, I’ll kick some ass.”

The started to remove all the sticky notes, and you felt yourself grow bored.

“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…” Izuku whispered, looking out at the two boys.

“Not if I got anything to say about it.”

“What-”

You opened the door with no cares, acting like if it was your own room to begin with. Katsuki and Eijirou looked over in shock, before Bakugou snarled at you and Kirishima only laughed.

“Hey (l/n), Midoriya!”

“Hi Kirishima! Good to see you.” You greeted, grabbing Izuku’s hand and pulling him out with you.

“DEKU! YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD.” Katsuki darted forward, hands popping threateningly.

“K-Kaachan wait!” Izuku ran out the door, throwing your over his shoulder as he did so. 

You laugh your heart out, waving goodbye to the fuming boy as you did. Kirishima held onto him and yelled his goodbyes as Izuku carried you away from the crime scene. 

Once far enough away he set you down with a sigh of relief, looking at you with a shake of his head.

“You’re going to be the death of me, I’m pretty sure Kaachan is planning my funeral as we speak.”

You smiled up at him, taking his scarred hand into your own.

“Well I hope that’s not the case, I want a very long and fun life with you.” You pinched his blushing cheek, only causing him to turn even more red.

“I’d like that.. Th-that’s what, uhm, what I want too.” He whispered.

“Good, because I actually was already planning something else to piss him off, I still have a ton of left over stickers and there’s his school desk-”

“(Y/N)!”

Needless to say, he helped you anyways.

What It Takes to Smile

Title: What It Takes to Smile

Prompt: University

Rating: Not even citrus. Pretty much E for Everyone.

Summary: Dio’s stressing himself out over a test and Jonathan comes along to help give him some downtime.

Word count: 1,946

Warnings/Tags: no triggers, fluff, crushing, flowers, romantic strolling, short

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Hey, everyone! I recently got into Jojo and JonaDio has pretty much stolen my heart. Ironically, I only figured out about JonaDio week a few hours before it started, and I was so glad that I could catch it just as it was beginning! Hope you guys enjoy this ‘lil thing I wrote at 1 AM! I hope I’ll be able to participate in the whole week. Have fun and happy JonaDio week! - Anon Speedwagon

Dio exhaled as he lifted his gaze from the book, then trained his eyes on the window. The sky was tinted orange with the promise of sunset, the leaves gently bowing to the evening wind. The momentary lapse of focus caused the weight of Dio’s exhaustion to settle down upon him, his eyes feeling strained and his head pounding. He wanted nothing more to curl up beneath the covers, let the waves of relief take hold and use their gentle current to guide him to sleep.

But the thought of an exam forced Dio’s attention back down to his studies. He had a test the next morning, and he wasn’t about to fail due to lack of study just because he was tired. He found himself having a difficult time forcing himself back into that state of study though, his mind not comprehending the sentences that he examined, no matter how much he read it. The words would not conjugate, and Dio rubbed his face as if splashing cool water on himself.

Damn it, Dio. Focus!

He was just about to get back to what he hoped would not be an unsuccessful attempt at studying when he heard a knock at the door. He groaned and lean back in his seat, glared at the door. Who could be coming to him at this time? Everybody should be in the dorms, or out and about on their midweek activities. Dio didn’t have a roomate that would interrupt him either; getting a private dorm had not even put a dent in the Joestar fortune.

“What is it?” he snarled, slamming shut his book.

The knock ceased. There was some shuffling behind the door, the clearing of a throat. An awkward stutter, then a voice finally responded:

“Dio…? It’s Jonathan. Can I come in?”

Dio’s face softened. He felt the tension in his frown fade, his muscles relaxing. He had heard before it took more muscles to frown than it did to smile, though he preferred to keep his face neutral at that moment. He didn’t have enough energy to put towards any expression at that moment. He kicked out from his desk and trudged to the door, opening it.

There stood Jonathan, still not having gotten out of his school suit. There was that ever-present expression of joy, one that could light up a room, a funeral, even. Dio looked at his adoptive brother, arms folded, eyes quizzically trained on his large frame.

“What is it, Jojo? I have to study.”

Jonathan’s cheeks were tinted a light pink, and he gave a small chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. He looked at the top of the doorframe as if something interesting were there, but Dio knew well that it was just to avoid eye contact. Jonathan, despite towering over and outsizing most, was a gentle soul, almost meek in nature. Dio especially noticed the latter aspect when they were together, though said nothing of it.

“Y-yeah… I know, but…! I was wondering if you would just like to… get out for a bit?”

Dio sighed, placed his index fingers on his temples and rubbed.

“Jojo, I can’t–”

“Just a stroll around the campus is all! Just to get some fresh air. It’s not good to stay cooped up in your dorm all day with your nose buried in books.”

Dio paused, leaned against the doorway as he considered this carefully. On one hand, he could just slam the door in Jonathan’s face, get back to studying, then hope to get a sufficient amount of rest for the exam the next day. Or… he could just get out for a couple of minutes. Maybe that would reset his state of mind, get him back to that focused mentality that he had lost.

Both options seemed equal in value to Dio, but the real tie-breaker was the look in Jonathan’s expression. There was this plea in Jonathan’s eyes, not of desperation, but almost like a puppy begging for his master to come play. Dio despised dogs, but the way Jonathan looked at him was sickeningly endearing, and he saw a glimmer of why they might be appealing.

“Alright. Let’s take a walk.”

***

Fresh spring loomed in the air. It was slightly humid from the amount of rainfall earlier on in the day, and the grass crunched beneath Dio and Jonathan’s shoes. They had wandered outside of campus a bit, heading into the outskirts that bordered the woods. Birds were singing the final songs to their daily concerts, squirrels were chittering and stirring up the leaves in the trees, and the smell of fresh flowers surrounded them.

Jonathan grinned and stretched, inhaling the natural perfume and then exhaling. He glanced to Dio, grin smoothing out to a tender smile, then looked around to take in the closing day.

“Ahh! It’s such a nice sunset! You almost missed it, Dio!”

Dio folded his arms, looked to the trees. As much as he hated to leave his studies behind, it was, admittedly, a nice day. It was seldom that he stopped to take a breath of the fresh air, and even he could admit that about himself. Jonathan seemed to constantly indulge in the wonders of nature, though hadn’t spoiled himself on it. It seemed as if it was fresh and brand new to him every time he stepped outside.

The position of the sun made their shadows elongate, stretch as if, Dio thought briefly, some demon were creeping up behind them. He looked to Jonathan, who was then plopping down on the ground on the soaking grass. Dio’s face scrunched.

“Are you daft? That grass is–”

Jonathan’s strong hand wrapping around his wrist, then the pull downward.

“Come on, Dio! Have a seat!”

Too late. Dio’s rear was already on the ground, and he felt the dew sopping into his school pants. He looked to Jonathan with a sour expression. The other seemed unbothered, and in fact joyful if anything else. Dio felt the quiver of a yell in his throat, but he swallowed it, and the words he wanted to say came out calm.

“You idiot. You got my pants all wet.”

“They’ll dry!”

Dio looked to Jonathan, starting to feel sickened by his saccharine attitude. It was always like this, ever since the beginning. Even when Dio had first come to live with them and he was treating Jonathan like dirt, Jonathan maintained a heart of gold. Even though Dio had gotten a good licking from Jonathan after that Erina situation, Dio had never felt Jonathan had any malice in his punches, and that it was for honor, if anything. And when he had started to play into the family role? Oh, best believe Jonathan was docile as a lamb. It was a respectable yet annoying trait, that positive outlook on life.

“Oh, look, Dio! The gardenias are in bloom!”

Dio glanced down to the edge of the forest to see that there were in fact flowers blossoming there. He maintained his grimace.

“They’re just a bunch of flowers. They look the same as any other white flower. How can you even tell the difference?”

Though Jonathan’s smile did fade a bit, he did not allow his expression to slip into negative territory. Instead, he reached a large, surprisingly gentle hand over to one of the flowers, plucked it delicately. Even in this action, gentle and harmless as it was, Dio suspected there was some level of guilt, removing a living thing from its natural state.

What Dio didn’t expect was that Jonathan next scooted closer, held the flower out to Dio to give him a closer look.

“They’re not just your common flowers. See the oval shape? The wax coating? And that smell… that wonderful smell. Here…”

Jonathan held the flower closer to Dio’s face for him to indulge in the scent together, though he didn’t take it in immediately. There was an impulse to slap the flower out of Jonathan’s hand, stand, brush himself off, then turn tail back to campus to get his studies done. But, just before he could even think about moving his body to position himself for such a thing, the smell of the gardenia hit him. It was like an instant elixir, a scent so sweet and divine that he found himself paralyzed. Dio gave a small gasp.

Jonathan retracted the flower, held it in his hand delicately. He stroked a fragile petal with a calloused thumb, though there was not a single tear in its smooth fibres. Dio was amazed at how someone so imposing, someone who could best even himself in battle, someone who held so much power like Jonathan could be so ginger, unwavering with the soft smile on his lips. Dio’s mind quickly changed gears.

A waste, really.

“When I was looking through our library… I found one of mom’s old books. It was a really thick book about flowers, how they look, what they mean…” Jonathan began turning to Dio. With his free hand, he took the blond’s hand by the wrist with the same tenderness as he used with the flower. With his other hand, he gently transferred over the gardenia, keeping their hands cupped for a moment, creating a sphere of safety around the flower. “The gardenia… it means a lot of things. Good things. It can mean trust, hope, purity…”

Jonathan’s blush from earlier returned, deeper than before. Dio’s gaze had previously been transfixed on the flower, intoxicated by its delightful smell, but now he looked at Jonathan. He blinked, waiting for the full explanation.

“Love… b-but…! A lot of flowers mean love. Flowers are usually a big symbol of love. Especially roses. Roses are your favorite, aren’t they, Dio?”

Dio was shocked at this notion. He hadn’t ever really thought about his favorite flower before, but if he had to pick one, rose would definitely be the flora he would conjure up in his mind. How did Jonathan know him better than he knew himself?

Jonathan gave a chuckle, then cleared his throat, lifted his hand from Dio’s, revealing the gardenia. It was glimmering with dew in the sunset hour.

“Gardenias also mean ‘good luck.’ I know you have that test tomorrow, so I figured… you could have it. At least while you’re studying if you don’t want to bring it in with you.”

Dio looked down at the white flora in his hand. He turned it over, examined it, as if looking for the source of the luck that Jonathan claimed was there. But it was nothing. It was just a dew-kissed flower, nothing more. And yet, Dio felt a rush of something bubbling up from his chest, into his throat, all the way to his face. Energy, life, love, all powering the beginning of a soft lip upturn.

“D-Dio…? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.”

Dio stood, looked above Jonathan rather than at him.

“I’m headed back to study. It’s getting dark.”

He turned on his heel, beginning to walk back to campus, leaving Jonathan in the ever-darkening evening, the last bit of sunlight dissipating to give way to a darker hue. The birdsong was replaced by the chirp of locusts. The squelch of the wet grass beneath Dio was irrelevant then, the noise barely processing in his mind. Studying, yes, studying. That was what he needed to do, needed to get back to.

“Oi, Dio!” Jonathan called out to him, standing up. “You… you have a great smile…!”

Dio didn’t turn to respond, but instead kept the stupidly happy grin plastered on his face. He rubbed the gardenia’s petal between his fingers and thought about what he could put it in.

Someplace Quiet - Juice x Male Reader

Just a cute request from an anon for male reader monday. enjoy! sorry it took forever to come out.

also lets talk about how sad this gif is? my heart!

Your last day in Queens was bittersweet. You had a last night out with your friends and regretted it the next morning but that was always how you could tell it was a good one. The friends you had made over the years in the NYPD were some you knew you would keep forever and would miss very much but it was time to move on; there was nothing for you in this city anymore. 

The day came for you to finally make your dream come true. You had been saving for years to get enough money to open your record/music shop. You used to have a boyfriend that laughed at your vinyl record collection; calling you a hoarder and always tried to get you to update to something more modern, “Come on!” he used to say, “Just get a CD player!” but you were stubborn. There was just something about them that you loved, maybe you had good memories relating to your grandparents playing them when you were a child... or maybe you were just that guy.

Ideally, you had wanted to set up shop in New York but the rent was way to expensive and you wanted a fresh start, in a new state... someplace quiet and warm. You just wanted a new life. So you chose a tiny town in California, Charming. It sounded like somewhere quiet and full of old people that would buy records and the rent was so much more affordable than anywhere else you had looked at. It was decided. The property was in the middle of town sandwiched between a cafe and a cigar store with a small apartment upstairs. It was exactly what you were looking for. 

News of the New York detective had spread around town quickly and soon enough the Sons of Anarchy had got wind of it. There was a feeling of unease and suspicion was apparent; they didn’t understand why a cop would want to move to Charming purely to open some kind of music store. 

A plan had been formulated. Their informants would scope the place out and see what the cop was like before they made their presence known to him. Clay had sent Unser to do “cop talk” but so far hadn’t made any progress with finding out about the new Charming resident. 

“He just kept saying he wanted a new start,” Unser told Clay and Jax after his visit, “and that’s all I could get out of him.”

It was decided that they would take a personal visit to “welcome” him to the town and maybe threaten him into telling them the real reason that he was there. Cops don’t just open up record shops for no reason.

You had only been in town for a few days, each day spent working on building shelving units and painting the walls until late at night, when you got visits from the locals. Everyone was so friendly and nice. When they found out you used to be a police officer they were always so surprised and understanding.

Then when you had officially opened up you finally got a visit from the guys you had been waiting for. The local biker gang. You knew that as soon as they had gotten wind of an ex-cop in their town they’d come to sniff around. There was nothing to be nervous about though because you weren’t there to enforce the law or arrest them; you were just getting your life together.

When the bell jingled, you looked up from where you were organizing the Dolly Parton records and smiled at the new faces. They were looking at you suspiciously.

“Hey fellas,” You greeted with a light-hearted wave, “how are you doing?”

They murmured a collective greeting and stood looking at you for a while before they dispersed, looking around your store; picking up records at random. There was two men left, an older man with grey hair and the other one looked closer to your age with blonde hair.

“What’s your deal?” The man with grey hair said, looping his thumbs into the pockets of his jeans.

“My deal?” You chuckled, “I opened up a music shop. Kids love vintage and retro music right now. I’ve always wanted to open a store like this.”

You moved passed them to behind the counter where you kept a gun and your coffee cup.

“Vintage?!” Another man asked incredulously, he had a Scottish accent, “I used to listen to these when I were a kid!”

“Says more about you than is does about me, Pal.” You replied, raising your eyebrows and sipping your coffee.

Some of the other men laughed at your jibe, the Scottish man joined in and carried on flipping through the “world music” section. Seemingly more at ease with you now the two men chuckled and leant against the other side of the counter.

“You mean am I undercover or whatever?” You asked them, then nodded when they did, “You can relax. I handed in my badge and gun weeks ago. I’m not a detective anymore.”

Before they could say anything in reply the sound of another motorcycle rumbled in the quiet Saturday air. And when you looked out of the window you felt your heart sink. You had immediately recognised the man on the back when he took his helmet off. Juan Carlos Ortiz. Your ex. He jogged over to the door and started talking as soon as it was open.

“Hey,” he breathed, “sorry Clay. Got caught up in the-” 

Then he looked at you with wide eyes and froze. You mirrored his expression and the other men in the room looked between you. Juan stepped fully into the store with his face both sad and angry and pointing at you.

“What are you doing here? Did you follow me?” He asked, voice cracking slightly.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” you laughed humorlessly, “I’m not here for you.”

“Then why-”

“Because I wanted a fresh start.”

The other guys kept looking between you in confusion but apparently knowing better than to interrupt two arguing New Yorkers. Something that you had noticed, and that Juan had always liked, was that your civilian personality would drop and you’d start acting like the hood-rat you really were; like you were when you first met him. You moved out from behind your counter to face him.

Both of you were talking over each other, talking fast and gesturing wildly and getting closer until you were almost nose to nose. Suddenly you were ripped away from your ex by the blonde man and practically thrown against your counter.

“You know each other?” He asked, keeping his hand on your chest so you wouldn’t move but pointing at Juan with his other one.

“Yeah we know each other,” You spat, “don’t we Juan? Went to school together, arrested him a couple or ten times... liked being in handcuffs if I remember.”

Juan’s jaw set and he shook his head as he stepped closer but ran into the man’s other hand. The blonde man gripped onto Juan’s shirt and shook him slightly. 

“Why are you here?” The grey haired man asked low and dangerously, suspicious now that he knew you and Juan had obvious history.

“’Cause I was fed up of goin’ to funerals.” You said and pushed the blonde man’s hand away from you, “Five of my buddies died in one month, Man. Five funerals, five grieving families... kids without dad’s... I was sick of my friends dying.”

Juan looked like he softened when he saw the tears threatening to fall down your cheeks but you scrubbed your eyes roughly and sniffed. You turned away from them and slowly made your way back around to your stool behind the counter; creating a barrier between you and the men who were now looking at you with sympathy.

“Get out,” you breathed and looked at Juan, “just... just get out of my store.”

"No, (Y/N)-”

“Out.”

“You said-”

“You were the one that left, Juan. Not me. You just left with a sorry on a fucking post-it note on my fridge and that was it. What am I supposed to do? Huh? Kiss and make up when you left like that?”

“It wasn’t a post-it note.”

You fixed him with a hard glare and he stepped back and away from his friends, back out the door and on his motorcycle with a last glance over his shoulder. You put your face in your hands and then ran your fingers through your hair in frustration. After a few seconds your attention was brought to the Scottish man who had put a small stack of records in front of you with his wallet out. He was looking slightly awkward.

“Oh- Sorry Pal,” you said when you noticed him before starting to ring up his purchases, “that’s... $25. Gonna give you a discount because of... that.” You gestured vaguely to the door.

“That’s fine,” he nodded.

You slid the records into a paper bag and handed them to him in exchange for the money then they left. As soon as they had, you flipped the sign over to say closed; you were exhausted after that. You hadn’t expected to see Juan again, especially not in a tiny Californian town like Charming but you had always known that when you did see him again it would have been explosive. But then you thought that maybe he had moved here for the same reason that you did.

It was like all of your energy had left you as you made your way into the back room and up the stairs to your little apartment and just slouched into bed but then not sleeping.

Days went by, quiet and warm just like you wanted, but there  was always a tense feeling in your chest whenever you heard motorcycles coming down the street and you couldn’t help glancing through the large windows every time. Juan had gotten more handsome over the years he had left you and when he rode his motorcycle you could almost feel your mouth water. You also couldn’t miss the way his head would turn slightly when he drove passed either and it was like you could feel that he was looking at you.

Then, one afternoon when you were eating your sandwich and clicking through your emails to check what orders you needed to dispatch, the bell for the door rung and you looked up to greet the customer but your polite smile fell when you saw who it was.

“Look,” Juan reasoned, raising his hands almost as if in surrender, “before you kick me out again can I just talk to you?”

With a sigh and a skeptical bite of your sandwich you nodded. He stepped in fully and approached the counter before resting his hands on it. He had taken to wearing rings, you noticed.

“I’m sorry for the way I ended things,” he mumbled, now fiddling with the small stack of sticky notes you kept on the counter, “I got... scared. With your job and... everything, you know?”

He finally looked back up to you shyly, dark eyes searching your face for any sign that you were going to kick off again but finding none. He had actually forgotten how cute you were when you were eating.

“And the guys I was running with couldn’t know about us because, I mean, you know... right?”

“You could have just said that,” you told him softly and put your sandwich down, “instead of just leaving me in the middle of the night. You could have broken up with me any other way than that.”

“I know-”

“You hurt me, Juan.”

“I’m sorry.”

You shook your head looked away from him.

“Sorry about your friends. That sucks.”

You couldn’t help laughing lightly. Only Juan would talk about your friends dying like you had lost your keys but you knew he didn’t mean it in a flippant way like it sounded; he was just bad in awkward situations. When you looked back to him, he was smiling at you in the way he used too when he made you laugh; he liked making you laugh.

“Your buddies know about us?” You asked and pushed the wax paper that held the other half of your sandwich which he happily took.

“I broke it to ‘em,” Juan said around the food, “they were surprised but-” he shrugged, “-they didn’t care that much. Apparently they were kinda expecting it.”

“You are kinda gay.”

“Says you.” He snorted.

And just like that the tension was gone. He wandered around your little store, straightening out a few knick knacks on the shelves and rearranged a few things so they were in alphabetical order.

“The guys want you to come to a party,” he said after a while, “at the clubhouse.”

You tensed up. The friends he had kept in Queens weren’t the best of people and he always seemed to have a nose for trouble. From what you had heard from around town that didn’t look like that had changed too much.

“Am I gonna get beat up for being a cop? I know what your friends are like, Juan.”

“They were the old friends,” his tone was defensive and his eyebrows furrowed, “these guys are different, ok? They like you... I think. They think you’re funny.”

You pressed your lips into a hard line. You had learnt long ago to place your trust in people carefully but found yourself agreeing anyway. They had seemed nice before you had started mouthing off to Juan and even then they hadn’t been violent towards you. You really didn’t know anyone even slightly close to your age in town, Wayne Unser being your only drinking buddy but you didn’t want to talk about cop stuff all the time, so you agreed somewhat hesitantly.

It turned out that parties were the same wherever you were or whoever you were with. The Sons of Anarchy guys were fascinated by the fact that parties with your cop buddies were just as rowdy, if not rowdier, than theirs.

“How many cops did coke?” Tig was asking you, leaning in close as if you would be telling him a huge secret.

“Like... maybe four that I knew of,” You laughed and sipped your beer, “most of us smoked weed though. Gets stressful being a cop, you know?”

“Strippers?”

“All the fucking time.”

He sat back and nodded like you had impressed him and you laughed again.

“Even though you’re, you know... gay.”

“Bi, actually. Just gonna throw that out there.”

There was a collective noise of realisation because they had been wondering why you had been checking out the crow eaters while you sat with them. You didn’t want to tell them too much about yours and Juan’s sex life because it wasn’t your place but there had been a girl that you had often “shared” as she liked to call it even though you were together. You loved each other during your relationship but sometimes you wanted something different.

“Makes sense. And you and Juice were... in a relationship or just fucking or...”

You looked down and tapped your beer bottle on the table with a small sigh. You thought you may as well tell them how you had felt.

“He was the love of my life,” You said quietly with a shrug and still not looking any of them, “and it crushed me when he left. It was never just fucking with Juan. Not even at the start.”

The subject of your conversation came stumbling through the crowd of people and over to your table before flopping into the seat beside you. He looked at you through hazy, happy eyes and you knew he had been smoking too. It felt, just briefly, like old times; his head was on your shoulder while he looked at you with that dopey smile and his arm was around your waist. You weren’t over him. You would never be over him.

“I think you need to get to bed, Babe,” You laughed, the pet name just slipping out before you could stop it, “you’re only gonna fall asleep out here.”

“Only if you take me,” he rasped and you knew that if you took him you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off of each other.

“You mind helping?” You asked Chibs, “Been out of the force for a while so I’m not as strong as I was.”

The Scotsman laughed and stood, drunk himself by now, and looped Juan’s arm around his shoulder to help him stand up while you took the other one. You worked together to get him through to the rooms that were at the back of their clubhouse. You threw him onto the bed and put his feet up on the mattress. You pulled his shoes off and fought with him to slip his kutte off of his shoulders with the help of Chibs.

“Fuck sake, Juan,” You laughed and finally pulled it off, “stop being stupid and go to sleep.”

He didn’t even look at you again, just pulled a pillow down from the top and cuddled it tightly with a smile on his face. Dope always made him sleepy as fuck. Chibs patted you on the shoulder and you walked back into the bar with him before calling yourself a cab to take you back into the middle of town.

                                          ------------------------------

As time went by and you and Juan got closer and closer. It was almost like old times but with the added bonus of his friends becoming like your friends. Happy and Juan would often go over to your apartment to play video games when you were working then you could join them when you closed up and your apartment had never been so clean with them both visiting. They would just stroll into the store while you were serving someone and head around the back before you could hear them going upstairs. The best thing about those two going over was that your apartment had never been cleaner even after they ate and had beer. Juan was only messy when he was drunk.

Things only ever got tense if you were alone together so you tried to avoid it as much as possible. It only happened when Happy had gone home and Juan wanted to stick around for longer; or at a party when Chibs would conveniently be missing when you had to put Juan into bed; or that time Kozik just happened to get lost on his way to the gym.

The more you thought about it the more you realised that it seemed like they were making a conscious effort to make you spend more time together; just the two of you. You would catch them whispering sometimes but they would stop the minute you came into earshot.

                                         ------------------------------

“Where do you want this shit?!” Jax called from the doorway.

You had managed to convince some of the guys to help you on delivery day. The added bribe of free beer and food definitely helped, of course. Jax, Tig and Juan were unloading the van of boxes of various items while you and Bobby looked over the invoices and checked everything was there.

“Just put it upstairs in the back room. Door’s open,” You told them, gesturing vaguely but not lifting your eyes from the invoice.

There was a shuffling of boots on wooden floor and then on the stairs as they heaved the heavy boxes up. You were just supervising the last few boxes coming out of the van when you heard Tig shouting you from upstairs.Making sure Jax and Bobby were alright finishing up, you dusted your hands off and jogged up the stairs into your apartment and through to the spare room.

“What’s up?” You asked and Tig waved you in.

“Come and look at this. I think something’s smashed,” he said and pointed to an open box the Juan was already peering curiously into.

“Seriously? What is it? A record player or- Hey!”

The second you were in arms reach, Tig had pushed you to the other side of the room before running through the open door and slamming it shut.

“Oh no!” He said sarcastically and you heard the key turning in the lock, “What’s happening? I can’t stop it.”

“Tig!” You shouted and banged the door with your fist with Juan shouting to be let out behind you, “What the fuck?!”

“It’s doing it on its own. Think your apartment’s haunted Man.” Tig laughed.

There was more laughter and you realised you had been set up. Jax and Bobby’s voices came from the other side also.

“You ain’t coming out until you fuck and make up,” Jax said, “or decide there’s nothing going on.”

“We’re sick of the soppy, awkward bullshit.” Bobby agreed, 

Then there were three sets of footsteps leaving. When you looked through the keyhole you saw the light of the lounge; the bastards had taken the key with them. You huffed and pulled your phone out of your back pocket to call... someone when Juan smacked it out of your hand; making it skitter across the room and hit one of the many cardboard boxes. You looked up at him, angry and about to ask him what he was doing, when you noticed how intensely he was looking at you.

“They’re right. We need to talk,” he said finally.

“Yeah. Sure. Maybe after your shithead friends let us out of here.”

“Whenever I wanna talk to you about us you always leave. Why?”

That fucking face and those puppy dog eyes killed you, just like they had all those years ago. At a loss for words, you shook your head and looked away from him. You didn’t know what to tell him. That you still loved him and being alone with him hurt too much? That you still hated him for leaving and looking at him made you angry? Instead, you just shrugged and walked over to the window. All three men were sat on their motorcycles below, smoking and talking.

As you were about to open it to shout down to them Juan’s words cut through you and made you pause.

“You really hate me that much? You’d rather jump out of a window than be alone with me?”

“Never,” You hissed at him, whirling around to finally meet his eyes with yours, “I never hated you, Juan, not until you left. I fucking loved you. And you just... left.”

“I apologised!”

You shook your head and folded your arms before closing your eyelids over the tears that were stinging your eyes. He said he was sorry but it was too little and too late. He apologised years after he left.

“You were too late,” You told him finally.

His eyes searched your face. You were older, sure and more hardened than you had been when he left but you were the same old (Y/N) that he had left behind. You were still the man he loved more than he had ever loved anyone before or since. He never wanted to leave you. It wasn’t you he needed to escape.

“I wanna try again.”

“It’s always what you want, isn’t it Juan?” You leaned back against the window ledge with your eyes still fixed on his face, “You want to leave, you want to be friends, you want to try again. What about me?”

Now it was his turn to look sheepish and stare down at the floor, rubbing the back of his neck. He knew you were right. You were both silent. Thinking. Pining.

“You want it too,” Juan said finally, “I know you do. I know you. We’ve been friends forever. Remember the first day of middle school?”

You couldn’t help smiling at the memory. It was years ago but you remembered it clearer than almost anything else. He had shuffled up to your table at lunch with his hands buried into his pockets and looking sheepish, the same way he was looking at you now, and complimented your Metallica shirt and when you looked up you saw he was wearing the same one. You were instantly best friends; inseparable and then you fell in love slowly over the years until the end of high school and the thought of not seeing each other everyday pained the both of you. Even when you went to train to be a police officer and he started running with less than desirable people you stayed together, moved in together, planned a future. But then it ended.

“Yeah. I remember,” was all you said, tearing up slightly at the thought of how things used to be and how much they had changed.

“I want it to be like that again.”

“Your friends-”

“Aren’t like the other ones. They’re better. They care and... they accept me- us. Ok? They don’t give a shit about any of that.”

“-are in a violent gang,” You continued, annoyed that he had interrupted you, “I want a quiet life from now on, Juan. I just wanted to be someplace quiet where I could go through my day without worrying about who’s gonna die next. That’s not gonna happen if my boyfriend’s part of an MC, is it?”

The pain in his eyes almost physically hurt your heart but you hoped that he understood what you meant. You didn’t realise that you had moved away from the window; closer enough for him to touch your cheek, your hair and then to the back of your neck. The first time since he had seen you again since you always moved away when he tried anything that was more than helping you drunkenly home. You missed it.

“No one’s dying,” he said almost in a whisper, looking earnestly into your eyes and shaking his head, “I promise. I won’t get you involved in anything you don’t want to be. I love you.”

And that was all it took for you to grab him and kiss him. It was just like it used to be, exactly the same as the first kiss you had shared and the last one before he left. It wasn’t until you heard the door being unlocked and then opened that you came us for air. Tig, Jax and Bobby stood in the doorway looking at you smugly. All you did was glance at them over your shoulder, smirking, and then catching Juan’s lips with yours again then pushed him back against the wall. You heard the door shutting again and the footsteps retreating and then engines starting. Their work was done. Juan smiled into the kiss and you couldn’t help the disbelieving laugh that escaped.

                                        ------------------------------

Juan kept his promise. You were kept in the dark about everything unless it was absolutely necessary. You only ever knew the bare minimum of the stuff Juan was caught up in. He helped you run your shop when he had days off and moved himself into the apartment with you.

Your days were exactly what you dreamed of; they were quiet, other than the occasional sound of motorcycles of course, and full of warm sunshine and you were happier than you had been in a long time. You even caught yourself thinking about the future again and even planning it with him. One day you would get your own house. It would have a big garage for his motorcycle and a big living room for all of your records. There would be a home gym and a large garden for the dogs you were going to get. 

Then, his ideas changed and he said that he wouldn’t mind moving his gym stuff into the garage when you got a kid. The backyard would be big enough for a swingset and slide.

But that was all in the future and you just wanted to be happy in the present. And you were.

Sunflower ~ B.D. (Part 1)

A/n: This song is hella short but I listened to it and needed to write it and then thought of this so it’ll be like a mini song prompt, much shorter than how long they usually here. Hopefully you’ll still enjoy all the same :) Also I’m sorry this is so long and rushed it has to cover the whole movie OOF. Things will definitely slow down from here...

Anon: Pidge

Word Count: 4654

MASTERLIST

Rose girls in glass vases: Perfect bodies, perfect faces. They all belong in magazines, those girls the boys are chasing, winning all the games they're playing. They're always in a different league...

“Hey!” The voice was unexpected and no one knew who they were referring to, so everyone looked. Just in time to see a fist plant squarely into Marcia Fadden’s jaw, causing her two bitch friends, Greta Bowie and Sally Mueller, to stumble back with dropped jaws and wide eyes as Marcia tumbled to the ground. “Come near my little sister again with your ugly perms and fake smile I promise I’ll do more than just leave a bruise on you pretty face. I’ll break that big fat nose of yours and you’ll look even uglier than you already do. Got it?” There was a slight pause and the new girl in the bathroom - who had interrupted the three girls in their end-of-the-year bullying of Beverly Marsh - bristled. Marcia groaned on the ground, struggling to sit up, which scared Greta and Sally enough not to test the girl who had put her in that condition. “DO YOU UNDERSTAND?” The girl screamed.

Greta stepped forward, trying to look brave even though she was faced with someone she wasn’t sure she could take on. Someone bigger than her. Confident and demanding. A face she didn’t recognize and therefore had no idea on her limits or lack thereof. “What sister is that?”

The girl glared. “Secily Smith,” she sneered. “You can mess with me and I won’t stop you trying to make yourself feel better by messing with your peers, but do not - I repeat, DO NOT come near my sister. Is that clear enough for you or do I actually have to break one of your noses?”

Sally grumbled, “We get the fucking point. God.”

The girl smirked. “Good.” And then she turned around and waltzed out of the bathroom. Beverly, still in the stall, shook her head to overcome her shock at hearing someone stand up to Greta and her bitch gang s boldly, taking the moment of silence and no movement to bust open the stall, stalking out after Y/n without a fault in her stride as if she had expected every little detail of what just happened.

When Beverly got outside, she looked up and down the hall but none of the facial expressions or ways anyone was walking gave off the kind of confidence and power the mystery girl in the bathroom had shown.

How had someone like that gone unnoticed by... everyone? All year? Or- years? As far as anyone knew, Ben was the only newby.

Secily Smith. Hm. That was a name Bev could work with.

While Bev planned a way to find out the source of a possible friend, Y/n L/n was walking home with her eyes on the ground, trying to even out her breathing. She was hopped up on anxiety from confronting Greta like that, but the fleeting moment of rage-fueled confidence was all she’d needed to scare those girls into leaving her sister alone. Okay, well, STEP sister, but it’s all the same right?

As Y/n neared the elementary school, she sighed. She’d stopped by on her way like every other day, but this time for the last time before Summer. She waited the few minutes until the younger kids got out, looking around at the parents waiting for their kids. Once upon a time, Y/n would hide behind a tree as Bill Dembrough waited for his younger brother, George. She would admire him and the cute embrace they would have before the older brother shoved the younger away playfully, messing his hair up as they both laughed.

Secily, who knew of Y/n’s infatuation with the sweet boy everyone else knew as Stuttering Bill, thought it was silly to hide and had even befriended George in order to force Y/n closer to Bill. The two kids had really hit it off and Y/n had run been forced to run into Bill a lot more often.

Picking up Secily from school, where the two younger kids were attached at the hip, forcing Y/n over. Picking up Secily from George’s house, often running into Bill in the process. Lunch dates or play dates or hang outs. Dropping off, picking up, running into each other in small towns, where George would notice Secily or Secily would notice George and they’d call to the other, bringing their families together once again. At George’s funeral, where Secily has clung to her older sister with their parents nowhere in sight, hiding her face so her sobs wouldn’t be heard.

That had been a rough while. Secily wasn’t as talkative anymore. She didn’t socialize as much and her attendance at things she’d always dragged Y/n to had all but completely disappeared. For so your a child, she was incredibly sad and reclusive and quiet.

That’s what Y/n was thinking of when Secily made her way to where Y/n waited for her, eyes on her feet. Y/n opened her arms and Secily moved into them. “Hey Sissy,” Y/n whispered, rubbing the younger girl’s back. “How was school.”

The younger girl mumbled incoherently, burying her face in Y/n’s stomach and refusing to move. Y/n sighed, stepping back and offering her arms in more of a way to pick her up than hug her. The six year old smiled briefly, allowing Y/n to carry her. It was only a fifteen minute walk to their house and Sissy was tiny as heck. Y/n could bare the weight to give her sister some comfort. She walked, Sissy bouncing a little on her back as Y/n talked to full the silence.

“We’ll have all summer now,” Y/n mused softly. “We can stay up late and have camp outs in the living room in our couch forts all we want... I can get candy. Snickers, your favorite.”

“I miss Georgie.” Y/n stopped abruptly. It had been nine months. Almost a year, and Sissy had not said it out loud once. She had not voiced her sorrow or pain that someone so young should be feeling nowhere near. Y/n wasn’t good with her own emotions, but someone else’s? Sissy held onto her sister tighter. “Never leave me okay?”

Y/n’s grip on Sissy’s ankles tightened. “I wouldn’t leave you if they put a gun up to my head and tried to force me.”

“What if they put a gun up to Bill’s head?”

“Then the Denbroughs would suffer two lost children.” Y/n moved Sissy around to hold the young girl in her arms, against her chest. “No one will ever take me from you. And no one will EVER take you from me. I promise Sissy. I give you my word.”

Sissy was quiet for a few seconds before Y/n felt her nod. “I believe you.”

“He used to take me here all the time,” Sissy gushed as she dragged a smiling Y/n behind her up the cliff to the edge. “We have to jump off! Come on PLEAAAAAAASE!”

Y/n laughed and dropped her bike, nodding. “Okay okay okay! But we have to be really careful and I want to go first.” Sissy nodded and Y/n sighed before simply pulling her shirt over her head and then tugging off her shorts after kicking off her shoes. Sissy stripped in the same way, until they were down to their underwear, and then they walked to the edge of the cliff. Sissy looked thrilled that Y/n swallowed her fear and forced a grin on her face. The adrenaline started pumping and Y/n took a deep breath before screwing up her face and jumping. Her breath caught and her mind went blank. She hit the water and sunk, pausing. It was so quiet down there. So serene that Y/n almost wanted to never leave. Just sink to the bottom of the Quarry and stay there.

But she had made Sissy a promise. She wouldn’t leave. So instead of disappearing into the dark depths, Y/n pushed to the surface. “Okay, tour turn!” Y/n called. Sissy smiled as Y/n swam backwards to get out of her way. Then the tiny girl jumped and every part of Y/n’s body tensed. She was so small and fell so much slower. It seemed that the fall would kill her, surely. Y/n counted to two before panicking after Sissy big the water but then the young girl broke the surface, water falling between her teeth as she broke into laughter before she’d been implement out of the water.

At the girl’s giddiness, Y/n brightened and loosened up too and soon they were both dunking each other and pulling each other under and playing water games like Marco Polo and pretending they were mermaids.

They’d come quite early, set on staying at the quarry the whole day. They’d even packed a basket for a picnic lunch when they were done swimming, and Y/n had brought a book she was reading aloud to Sissy over the summer.

Right about noon, when Y/n was thinking about taking a break because it was near lunch time and Sissy was obviously getting quite tired - her mom would thank her for tiring out the little girl, surely - there cane voices from the woods. Y/n paled, not up for trusting anyone other than the little girl she knew it couldn’t be. She ditched the idea of saving heir stuff, pulling Sissy against her and hiding in the side of the cliff, trying to see who was approaching without giving away where they were if it was someone dangerous. Who else used the Quarry during weekdays?

It was Beverly’s voice that gave them away, even before Richie had the chance to.

“Hey, I think someone’s already here.” Her voice echoed off the cliff and Y/n bit her lip, unsure of who Beverly would be with, since the last time Y/n had checked Beverly and her were as much both mutually alone as they were both girls. That’s where the similarities would stop though. It seemed, though, she was definitely talking to someone.

Then Richie spoke, his voice loud and unmistakably his own. “Looks like a date. Bet if we look around we can get a peek at some people getting DOWN.” He snorted but when no other sounds came, Y/n concurred the others were ignoring him.

“Where are they?” Eddie asked, his voice shaking with worry. “Looks like two girls. Are they, um, okay or whatever?”

Y/n dismissed his concern as disliking to be around a dead body in case things had gone truly awry with the two girls he didn’t know.

There was a pause. “HELLO?”

Y/n’s heart stopped, her eyes widening and her body loosening in shock. Bill. Sissy, taking her chance, shoot forward, turning so her face looked up at the Losers. “HI!”

“Holy shit,” Richie cursed in surprise.

Sissy shot a look to Y/n who slowly moved to where the others could see her. “You guys gonna come in?” Sissy called, grinning from ear to ear. Y/n brightened- Sissy hasn’t been this happy since George had died. “What are you waiting for, you scared?”

Something about a six year old insulting their bravery pushed all of the Losers to quickly join them in the water, shedding their clothes and jumping off the cliff. Sissy interacted with all of them as Y/n kept her head down, suddenly shy and quiet. Sissy finally rolled her eyes, pulling Y/n over by her hand- straight to Bill.

“Hey-ay-“ Bill stuttered, smiling warmly.

I swallowed, struggling too hard with speaking to even te a word out. I admire his ability to speak around his stutter. I nodded, feeling about ready to cry. I was anxious and exposed and had not expected other people to show up. But they had. And I was hating it.

“She’s shy,” Sissy eased. “You’re pretty shy too. Maybe help me out with her?”

Richie moved next to Sissy’s side, cackling as e threw an arm around the little girl. “See these shy babes will never understand what it’s like for us, Kiddo.”

Sissy rolled her eyes. “I may only be six, but you’re only eleven. It’s not like you’re thirteen or anything, don’t act all grown up.”

Richie’s eyes widened, a grin lighting up his face. “I like you! Next time we’re hanging out at the arcade, there’s a few games I have to-“

“Next time?” Everyone looked at me as I spoke for the first time. I blushed under their gazes. In order to shift the focus, I offered a, “I don’t even know your names.” Which was a COMPLETE lie but a good segway nonetheless.

Bill took the opportunity to step forward, introducing Mike, Ben, Stan, Richie, Eddie, and then... “And this ih-is Bev.” His gaze softened as he landed on her and she blushed, her smile warm and adorable.

My stomach turned as all of the other Losers rolled their eyes, obviously only too aware of whatever chemistry was between the two. Meanwhile, my heart was shattering. Thankfully I wasn’t the only one who heard the break.

Sissy took my hand, leaning her head against my neck. “Y/n/n, I’m really tired...”

Thankful for my ever perspective younger sister, I began moving us toward shore. “Well, it was very nice to meet you, but we have to be going. It’s this one’s nap time. We’ve been here since like 7am so...”

“Yeah,” Mike eased as he looked at me with an analyzing gaze, sensing there was something past what I was giving away and trying to decipher it.

“See you next time?” Richie called.

I pretended not to hear him as Sissy and I gathered our stuff and left as fast as we could.

Stretching toward the sky like I don't care, wishing you could see me standing there. But I'm a sunflower, a little funny. If I were a rose, maybe you'd want me.

I'd avoided the Losers successfully for a very, very long time. Eventually they seemed rather preoccupied and stopped caring, forgetting about me altogether. I wasn't complaining. Being friends with them meant opening up endless possibilities to have someone realize that I had whatever feelings I had for Bill, and with the obvious goings on between him and Beverly, I didn't want to be on the unrequited side of the Love Triangle of Pain and Misery.

That all got messed up when I saw Greta being a bitch to Eddie and lost my shit. Greta alone was enough to boil my blood and ring out the aggressive side no one knew about me, when I was confident and an unbridled spit fire. But Eddie of all people? Eddie wasn't perfect but he was so small and easily scared and I felt a burning need to protect him. I didn't know what it was about him but he ignited mama bear inside of me on a level with Sissy.

So when I saw her offer to sign Eddie's blank cast as I was grabbing antibiotics (Sissy was sick), getting Eddie all excited just so see her glare level on him as his smile slowly faded...

"What the FUCK is your problem?" I seethed aggressively. Greta jumped, my authorative town putting her on edge even though it had almost been three full months since I cornered her and her friends in the bathroom after they'd tugged on Sissy's pigtails she'd been so proud of until the little girl felt ashamed and pulled them out, returning to her usual single ponytail. "Are you so lonely and miserable that you so strongly feel the need to drag everyone to your level?"

Eddie stared at me in awe as I slapped down money to pay for the medicine I was buying before letting my glare fall after lingering a second longer, then softly laying a hand on Eddie's arm, letting him know I wanted him to follow me. He did.

He took me to his house where I met his mother. She seemed suspicious at first but my usual charming timidness and unwavering politeness and well practiced flattery wiggled her down eventually.

After introductions, my eyes landed on Eddie's cast, my smile disappearing. "Will you excuse us for a moment?" I asked Mrs. K. She smiled, waving us off to return to her show and I nodded toward the kitchen. "Come on, I need to do something." He followed me once again. I motioned to a chair where he sat. Propping his cast up on the table. "Where do you keep your marker?" He directed me and I shuffled through. He only had one red marker and I supposed that was better than any other since it would mostly just blend into the the other letter. I sat down next to him, looking at the cast for a second.

LOSER.

I had meant to just sign my name, but then I smiled as I scrawled a messy, rushed V over the S. Then I signed my name under it.

When I looked up our eyes locked and we both smiled. "Thank you," he whispered. I shrugged. "You know I thought you were shy and hated us... but I don't think that's true."

My smile faltered. "People don't like a smart girl who takes control and stands up for what she believes in. Look at Beverly." There was a pause. "I'm really hot headed and my mom said that if I didn't get my temper under control then she would ship me off, and... Sissy and I couldn't bare the thought of being separate. So I just... stifled all of it. Muted myself."

Eddie placed his good hand over mine and we smiled again. Whether I liked it or not, we were friends now. Really, though, I couldn't even lie and say I did mind it all that much without sounding completely ridiculous.

That's when Eddie got the call, and the stretch of complete Hell and trauma in my young life started. At first he tried to leave without me, but now that I'd made my first friend I refused to let him go into any danger that made him look as scared as he did without as much backup as possible. He faced down his mom (I gave him a congratulatory high five and he didn't stop smiling for a few solid seconds... until I asked what was going on) and then we got in our bikes, peddling to Neibolt as Eddie explained the most insane story I'd ever heard.

Maybe I was just as crazy, but there was a look in his eyes that I just couldn't deny. He wasn't lying. So I went with him. The Losers were surprised to see me but Eddie told them to shut up so they did, focusing instead on updating me on absolutely anything and everything Eddie might have missed.

Bill stood, offering me a pipe as he took in my shocked expression as I processed, trying to work around my doubts which were considering surfacing. The looks in their faces were the same as Eddie’s had been- none of them were lying. With lives on the line, there wasn’t time to get proof. So I was trying to take a keep of faith... but even with my open mind, this was a lot. “You doh-don’t have to come in,” he eased, meeting my eyes with a reassuring smile, easing the pressure I knew was still there.

I took a second, looking at the house and swallowing. “Beverly’s in there,” I mumbled. “And this thing is just going to keep killing people...” My resolved snapped into place as I met Bill’s eyes. “And like you said, the more of you there are, the weaker IT is.”

“Us,” Eddie piped up. I looked at him with question written all over my face. “More of US there are, the weaker IT is.”

Richie threw an arm around me. “You scare easy, but... Welcome to the Loser’s Club, Kitty Kat.” He snickered. “Get it? Cause you’re a scaredy cat?” I shoved my elbow lightly into his ribs and he stepped back, pretending to smile. That’s all the joking was. False, fake. But I was officially a Loser, so that was cool.

Then we went in. There was Stan’s hesitation, going down the well, Henry almost killing Mike and then plummeting down to his death into the depths of the bottom of the well that none of us could see, and then we were waiting for Mike to come down the well when everything went from bad to worse.

“Y/n.” The name was low and garbled but I spun around, sure that it had been none of other than my stupid little sister who had called me... even though it did sound a little off. “Y/n.” There it was again.

IT had gotten Georgie nine months ago, Bill was sure of it. Now that shit face of a clown had my goddamn little sister. Well, not on my watch.

In hindsight, running off after Sissy was the single dumbest thing I had ever and would ever do. I didn’t know what IT was capable of in person, but I did know that I would get killed unless I stuck to the group. Yo be fair to me, though, I wasn’t used to having people to rely on. I wasn’t used to having friends or even acquaintances. Sissy was all I had left. Our parents didn’t count as dependable, loving, or responsible- without Sissy I was all alone again, like before they’d married and I’d had her come into my life. So, without a second though I took after her by myself. I didn’t notify the other Losers- I didn’t pause long enough to even consider it.

What do you expect from an eleven year old facing the prospect of losing the six year old sister that alone stands between complete loneliness and true companionship? I loved her more than life itself. I think I proved it then.

Whipping hair and bright colored dresses that were distinctly Sissy’s lead me to a chamber with pipes along the wall. It was expansive and dark and I used the flashlight to try and find where Sissy or IT was. Trying to find something, anything. “HEY!” I screamed. “WHARE IS SHE, YOU PIECE OF FUCK? WHERE’S MY SISTER?”

My flashlight finally landed on glowing yellow eyes and I jumped back, crying out in surprise. IT was exactly like the others had explained it, except... I had been wrong about the eyes. Not even yellow, they were a crystal blue. Must have been the reflection of the flash light. IT smiled at me, tilting It’s head. “Looking for your little Sissy?” It mewled, surprising me without calm and reasonable the voice was. I found myself feeling as if I was facing any adult or bully. Just another piece of shit standing between me and Sissy.

The one way anyone could ever make me upset? Hurt someone I cared about. It had scared the Losers and physically hurt a few of them too. It had killed Georgie and COUNTLESS others over the years. It had taken Beverly. And, worse of all, it had taken Sissy.

I brandished my flashlight like it was a club. “Where,” I demanded with slit eyes. “Is she?”

IT smiled wider. “I don’t have her.” He came at me and I felt the breath knocked out of me as IT grabbed my throat, slamming me into the wall. “But I have you.” The voice seemed to come from a whole new person, now lower and teeming with a sense of madness that out me on edge.

My anger overruled my fear. Whether or not IT had Sissy, it didn’t lessen all the other crimes IT had committed, and justice was demanding to be met. “I’m going to make you pay,” I spit with the last breath in my body. “I’m going to make you writhe and squirm and BEG, and then I’m going to fucking kill you. I’m going to see you die you stupid ass clown.”

The smile IT had never failed to done faltered and IT looked at me a split second before pulling me closer, sniffing me in the most inhuman, disturbing way before huffing through IT’s nose like IT had sniffed pepper instead of my scent. What did it have against regular store brand shampoo and soap? “You’re not scared,” IT growled.

“I’m scared,” I admitted. “I’m just more angry.”

IT looked at me like I was something IT had never seen before. A discovery that fascinated IT. “Not normal anger though,” IT mused.

The hands around my throat loosened to give me air but not enough to let me free. “I use my anger to protect people,” I reasoned huffily. “I don’t use my anger to destroy. I’m not-“ My head suddenly went blank and the fear seeped in again.

That’s what IT had been waiting for it seemed. IT didn’t even bother to turn into my grandfather, simply settling to get right to the eating me part. I understood why as I heard the screams of the Losers in the tunnels. My friends. MY FRIENDS! GOD I was such an idiot! While I was sitting here making small talk with a murderous demon clown who was now about to eat me, I was distracting from saving Beverly.

IT’s jaw unhinged and I screamed, fear suddenly threw only thing I could feel. I had never been more horrified in my life, the rows of teeth and general horror in front of me worse than my even most active imaginings could ever conjure. I closed my eyes, turning my head as I screamed, clawing at the wall like I used to when my grandpa would attack me. Suddenly there was commotion and the hand loosened as I fell to the floor, my body shaking. Eddie was there first, pulling em to my feet and making sure I was okay.

We didn’t have time to really make sure, though, because suddenly Bill had pulled the same dumbass move I had and run off. So now we were running after him. Finding him with a disturbingly accurate looking Georgie. Fighting IT, where my new friends got to see my grandfather sneer at me as IT grasped at the only thing IT knew I was afraid of before I slammed my pole into IT, showing off my angry side to my friends for the first time. Then IT was gone and Bill found Georgie’s coat and we were leaving, holding each other close and trying to get the full story from everyone’s point of view. They were disturbed to hear about Bev’s idea of the future that she’d sort of seen while under the influence of the deadlights and even more so by my far too casual conversation with IT. And then Bill was standing, ready to get us to vow to all come back. Bev and I looked gazes before standing up. We had dealt with IT more, so I applauded her for standing up with as much confidence as I did.

I was one of the last ones to leave, but the obvious tension between Bill and Beverly was obvious, and I would get an earful from Bev about it later, who was only too excited to have another girl in the group to talk about her feelings too. Especially when, it seemed, they included the boy I liked. Not that she meant it to be that way...

I didn’t care though. Sissy and Bev were safe and IT was gone. For now. There were pieces to pick up before I could even start to think of romance, and years to live that held plenty of time to figure it all. For now, I had to say goodbye to one of my first new friends only a few weeks after I had gained her friendship. Right now, everything else could wait.

@suicide-d0g, @the-pan-anon, @skyblurry347, @rk900-nines and @kate-is-absolute-trash

According to all known laws of aviation,   there is no way a bee should be able to fly.   Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.   The bee, of course, flies anyway   because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.   Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.   Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.   Barry! Breakfast is ready!   Ooming!   Hang on a second.   Hello?   - Barry? - Adam?   - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.   Looking sharp.   Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.   Sorry. I'm excited.   Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.   A perfect report card, all B's.   Very proud.   Ma! I got a thing going here.   - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!   - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!   Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!   - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry.   - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation.   Never thought I'd make it.   Three days grade school, three days high school.   Those were awkward.   Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive.   You did come back different.   - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.   - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah.   - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going.   Everybody knows, sting someone, you die.   Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead.   I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.   I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day.   That's why we don't need vacations.   Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances.   - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are!   - Bee-men. - Amen!   Hallelujah!   Students, faculty, distinguished bees,   please welcome Dean Buzzwell.   Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of...   ...9:15.   That concludes our ceremonies.   And begins your career at Honex Industries!   Will we pick ourjob today?   I heard it's just orientation.   Heads up! Here we go.   Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times.   - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary.   Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco   and a part of the Hexagon Group.   This is it!   Wow.   Wow.   We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life   to get to the point where you can work for your whole life.   Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.   Our top-secret formula   is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured   into this soothing sweet syrup   with its distinctive golden glow you know as...   Honey!   - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin!   - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins.   - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive   to improve every aspect of bee existence.   These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology.   - What do you think he makes? - Not enough.   Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman.   - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey   that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions.   Oan anyone work on the Krelman?   Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know   that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot.   But choose carefully   because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life.   The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that.   What's the difference?   You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off   in 27 million years.   So you'll just work us to death?   We'll sure try.   Wow! That blew my mind!   "What's the difference?" How can you say that?   One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make.   I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life.   But, Adam, how could they never have told us that?   Why would you question anything? We're bees.   We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.   You ever think maybe things work a little too well here?   Like what? Give me one example.   I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about.   Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach.   Wait a second. Oheck it out.   - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow.   I've never seen them this close.   They know what it's like outside the hive.   Yeah, but some don't come back.   - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks!   You guys did great!   You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!   - I wonder where they were. - I don't know.   Their day's not planned.   Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.   You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that.   Right.   Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime.   It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it.   Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it.   Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too?   Distant. Distant.   Look at these two.   - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them.   It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock.   Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom!   He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me!   - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out.   What were you doing during this?   Trying to alert the authorities.   I can autograph that.   A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades?   Yeah. Gusty.   We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.   - Six miles, huh? - Barry!   A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it.   - Maybe I am. - You are not!   We're going 0900 at J-Gate.   What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough?   I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means.   Hey, Honex!   Dad, you surprised me.   You decide what you're interested in?   - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one.   Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?   Son, let me tell you about stirring.   You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around.   You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing.   You know, Dad, the more I think about it,   maybe the honey field just isn't right for me.   You were thinking of what, making balloon animals?   That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger.   Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey!   - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny.   You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer!   - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me!   Wait till you see the sticks I have.   I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!   Let's open some honey and celebrate!   Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae.   Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!   I'm so proud.   - We're starting work today! - Today's the day.   Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone.   Yeah, right.   Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal...   - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left!   One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side.   - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar!   Wow!   Oouple of newbies?   Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!   Make your choice.   - You want to go first? - No, you go.   Oh, my. What's available?   Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think.   - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on.   I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.   Wax monkey's always open.   The Krelman opened up again.   What happened?   A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one.   Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.   Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!   Oh, this is so hard!   Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,   humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,   mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry?   Barry!   All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine...   What happened to you? Where are you?   - I'm going out. - Out? Out where?   - Out there. - Oh, no!   I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life.   You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?   Another call coming in.   If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd   that gets their roses today.   Hey, guys.   - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?   Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.   It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.   Really? Feeling lucky, are you?   Sign here, here. Just initial that.   - Thank you. - OK.   You got a rain advisory today,   and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain.   So be careful. As always, watch your brooms,   hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats.   Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us.   Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada!   - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies,   bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans!   All right, launch positions!   Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!   Black and yellow!   Hello!   You ready for this, hot shot?   Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.   Wind, check.   - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check.   - Wings, check. - Stinger, check.   Scared out of my shorts, check.   OK, ladies,   let's move it out!   Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers!   All of you, drain those flowers!   Wow! I'm out!   I can't believe I'm out!   So blue.   I feel so fast and free!   Box kite!   Wow!   Flowers!   This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual.   Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.   Roses!   30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.   Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick.   That is one nectar collector!   - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir.   I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there,   a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic.   That's amazing. Why do we do that?   That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.   Oool.   I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?   Oopy that visual.   Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move.   Say again? You're reporting a moving flower?   Affirmative.   That was on the line!   This is the coolest. What is it?   I don't know, but I'm loving this color.   It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it.   Yeah, fuzzy.   Ohemical-y.   Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.   My sweet lord of bees!   Oandy-brain, get off there!   Problem!   - Guys! - This could be bad.   Affirmative.   Very close.   Gonna hurt.   Mama's little boy.   You are way out of position, rookie!   Ooming in at you like a missile!   Help me!   I don't think these are flowers.   - Should we tell him? - I think he knows.   What is this?!   Match point!   You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it!   Yowser!   Gross.   There's a bee in the car!   - Do something! - I'm driving!   - Hi, bee. - He's back here!   He's going to sting me!   Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze!   He blinked!   Spray him, Granny!   What are you doing?!   Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable.   I gotta get home.   Oan't fly in rain.   Oan't fly in rain.   Oan't fly in rain.   Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!   Ken, could you close the window please?   Ken, could you close the window please?   Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure.   You see? Folds out.   Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.   What was that?   Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This...   Drapes!   That is diabolical.   It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.   What's number one? Star Wars?   Nah, I don't go for that...   ...kind of stuff.   No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds.   When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.   There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.   I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it.   I predicted global warming.   I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me.   Wait! Stop! Bee!   Stand back. These are winter boots.   Wait!   Don't kill him!   You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me!   Why does his life have less value than yours?   Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement?   I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling.   My brochure!   There you go, little guy.   I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing.   Put that on your resume brochure.   My whole face could puff up.   Make it one of your special skills.   Knocking someone out is also a special skill.   Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.   - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.   - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye.   - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye.   I gotta say something.   She saved my life. I gotta say something.   All right, here it goes.   Nah.   What would I say?   I could really get in trouble.   It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human.   I can't believe I'm doing this.   I've got to.   Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!   No. Yes. No.   Do it. I can't.   How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good.   Here she comes! Speak, you fool!   Hi!   I'm sorry.   - You're talking. - Yes, I know.   You're talking!   I'm so sorry.   No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming.   But I don't recall going to bed.   Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting.   This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!   I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this,   but they were all trying to kill me.   And if it wasn't for you...   I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised.   That was a little weird.   - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah.   I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me!   I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now.   - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What?   The talking thing.   Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.   - That's very funny. - Yeah.   Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with.   Anyway...   Oan I...   ...get you something? - Like what?   I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee?   I don't want to put you out.   It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.   - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose.   - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup.   Hey, you want rum cake?   - I shouldn't. - Have some.   - No, I can't. - Oome on!   I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.   - Where? - These stripes don't help.   You look great!   I don't know if you know anything about fashion.   Are you all right?   No.   He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison.   He finally gets there.   He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on.   And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan.   Why would I marry a watermelon?"   Is that a bee joke?   That's the kind of stuff we do.   Yeah, different.   So, what are you gonna do, Barry?   About work? I don't know.   I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want.   I know how you feel.   - You do? - Sure.   My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.   - Really? - My only interest is flowers.   Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan.   Anyway, if you look...   There's my hive right there. See it?   You're in Sheep Meadow!   Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!   No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once.   - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not?   - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that.   - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine.   Just having two cups of coffee!   Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee.   Yeah, it's no trouble.   Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life.   Are you...?   Oan I take a piece of this with me?   Sure! Here, have a crumb.   - Thanks! - Yeah.   All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around.   Or not.   OK, Barry.   And thank you so much again... for before.   Oh, that? That was nothing.   Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...   This can't possibly work.   He's all set to go. We may as well try it.   OK, Dave, pull the chute.   - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing!   It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.   Humans! I can't believe you were with humans!   Giant, scary humans! What were they like?   Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.   They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy.   - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't.   - How'd you get back? - Poodle.   You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see.   You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal.   - Well... - Well?   Well, I met someone.   You did? Was she Bee-ish?   - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp.   - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders.   I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all.   I can't get by that face.   So who is she?   She's... human.   No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law.   - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy.   She's so nice. And she's a florist!   Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!   We're not dating.   You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes   with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite!   She saved my life! And she understands me.   This is over!   Eat this.   This is not over! What was that?   - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey!   And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat!   - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No.   It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up...   Sit down!   ...really hot! - Listen to me!   We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them!   Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning?   There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me!   You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee!   - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee.   Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!   There he is. He's in the pool.   You know what your problem is, Barry?   I gotta start thinking bee?   How much longer will this go on?   It's been three days! Why aren't you working?   I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about.   What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee!   Would it kill you to make a little honey?   Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you.   Martin, would you talk to him?   Barry, I'm talking to you!   You coming?   Got everything?   All set!   Go ahead. I'll catch up.   Don't be too long.   Watch this!   Vanessa!   - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him.   He doesn't respond to yelling!   - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen!   I'm not listening to this.   Sorry, I've gotta go.   - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend.   A girl? Is this why you can't decide?   Bye.   I just hope she's Bee-ish.   They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena?   To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!   Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering.   A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events?   No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere?   It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster.   Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn.   TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane!   You don't have that?   We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease.   Oh, my.   Dumb bees!   You must want to sting all those jerks.   We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us.   So you have to watch your temper.   Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk,   write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion:   Anger, jealousy, lust.   Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?   Yeah.   - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug.   He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep!   What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?   Yeah, it was. How did you know?   It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.   You've really got that down to a science.   - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet.   What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this?   How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,   Ray Liotta Private Select?   - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him.   - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it.   You don't have enough food of your own?   - Well, yes. - How do you get it?   - Bees make it. - I know who makes it!   And it's hard to make it!   There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing!   - It's organic. - It's our-ganic!   It's just honey, Barry.   Just what?!   Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing!   You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have!   And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this.   I'm getting to the bottom of all of this!   Hey, Hector.   - You almost done? - Almost.   He is here. I sense it.   Well, I guess I'll go home now   and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around.   You're busted, box boy!   I knew I heard something. So you can talk!   I can talk. And now you'll start talking!   Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier?   I don't understand. I thought we were friends.   The last thing we want to do is upset bees!   You're too late! It's ours now!   You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword!   You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio!   Where is the honey coming from?   Tell me where!   Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!   Orazy person!   What horrible thing has happened here?   These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now   they're on the road to nowhere!   Just keep still.   What? You're not dead?   Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed?   To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here.   I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off!   I'm going to Tacoma.   - And you? - He really is dead.   All right.   Uh-oh!   - What is that?! - Oh, no!   - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade?   Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!   Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?!   How much do you people need to see?!   Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window!   From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell.   But don't kill no more bugs!   - Bee! - Moose blood guy!!   - You hear something? - Like what?   Like tiny screaming.   Turn off the radio.   Whassup, bee boy?   Hey, Blood.   Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see.   Wow!   I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it.   I mean, that honey's ours.   - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in.   It's a close community.   Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own.   - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble.   Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack!   At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls.   Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly.   Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.   You got to be kidding me!   Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee!   - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood!   I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw?   We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit.   What is this place?   A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead.   They are pinheads!   Pinhead.   - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.   The Thomas 3000!   Smoker?   Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar.   A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.   They make the honey, and we make the money.   "They make the honey, and we make the money"?   Oh, my!   What's going on? Are you OK?   Yeah. It doesn't last too long.   Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls?   Our queen was moved here. We had no choice.   This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes!   That's a drag queen!   What is this?   Oh, no!   There's hundreds of them!   Bee honey.   Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale!   This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something.   Oh, Barry, stop.   Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor.   Do these look like rumors?   That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos.   How did you get mixed up in this?   He's been talking to humans.   - What? - Talking to humans?!   He has a human girlfriend. And they make out!   Make out? Barry!   We do not.   - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on?   The bees!   I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night.   Barry, this is what you want to do with your life?   I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees!   Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked   your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop.   I remember that.   What right do they have to our honey?   We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!   Even if it's true, what can one bee do?   Sting them where it really hurts.   In the face! The eye!   - That would hurt. - No.   Up the nose? That's a killer.   There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters.   Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source.   No more bee beards!   With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.   Weather with Storm Stinger.   Sports with Buzz Larvi.   And Jeanette Ohung.   - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung.   A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,   intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey,   packaging it and profiting from it illegally!   Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,   we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book,   Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon.   Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.   Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"?   Bees have never been afraid to change the world.   What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?   Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.   We were thinking of stickball or candy stores.   How old are you?   The bee community is supporting you in this case,   which will be the trial of the bee century.   You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too.   It's a common name. Next week...   He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots...   Next week...   Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em.   Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live.   Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish.   In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness!   It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.   Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that?   Quiet, please. Actual work going on here.   - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is!   I'm helping him sue the human race.   - Hello. - Hello, bee.   This is Ken.   Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.   Why does he talk again?   Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working.   But it's our yogurt night!   Bye-bye.   Why is yogurt night so difficult?!   You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours!   Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help.   - Frosting... - How many sugars?   Just one. I try not to use the competition.   So why are you helping me?   Bees have good qualities.   And it takes my mind off the shop.   Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now.   Those are great, if you're three.   And artificial flowers.   - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too.   Bent stingers, pointless pollination.   Bees must hate those fake things!   Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done.   Maybe this could make up for it a little bit.   - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess.   You sure you want to go through with it?   Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able   to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty!   It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan,   where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history,   we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak.   What have we gotten into here, Barry?   It's pretty big, isn't it?   I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day.   You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers?   Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade.   - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill.   Well, if it isn't the bee team.   You boys work on this?   All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding.   All right. Oase number 4475,   Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry   is now in session.   Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively?   A privilege.   Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world?   I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed.   Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please.   Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,   my grandmother was a simple woman.   Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right   to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us.   If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines,   just think of what would it mean.   I would have to negotiate with the silkworm   for the elastic in my britches!   Talking bee!   How do we know this isn't some sort of   holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry?   They could be using laser beams!   Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know,   he could be on steroids!   Mr. Benson?   Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here.   I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me.   It's important to all bees. We invented it!   We make it. And we protect it with our lives.   Unfortunately, there are some people in this room   who think they can take it from us   'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over,   you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have   but everything we are!   I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice!   Oall your first witness.   So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have.   I suppose so.   I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron!   Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms.   Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term.   I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you?   - No. - I couldn't hear you.   - No. - No.   Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that,   it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey.   They're very lovable creatures.   Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.   You mean like this?   Bears kill bees!   How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?!   Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows!   OK, that's enough. Take him away.   So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me.   - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police.   But you've never been a police officer, have you?   No, I haven't.   No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example   of bee culture casually stolen by a human   for nothing more than a prance-about stage name.   Oh, please.   Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?   Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting.   Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!   That's not his real name?! You idiots!   Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on   your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005.   Thank you. Thank you.   I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome   with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow.   I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?   Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you?   Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't   have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir?   Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now!   This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella!   Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?!   - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it!   Order! Order, I say!   - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down!   I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that.   I think the jury's on our side.   Are we doing everything right, legally?   I'm a florist.   Right. Well, here's to a great team.   To a great team!   Well, hello.   - Ken! - Hello.   I didn't think you were coming.   No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery.   I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.   Oh, that was lucky.   There's a little left. I could heat it up.   Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.   So I hear you're quite a tennis player.   I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby.   That's where I usually sit. Right... there.   Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,   and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill.   You think I don't see what you're doing?   I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common.   Do we?   Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out.   That's just what I was thinking about doing.   Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.   I'm going to drain the old stinger.   Yeah, you do that.   Look at that.   You know, I've just about had it   with your little mind games.   - What's that? - Italian Vogue.   Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.   A lot of ads.   Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine?   Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!   I think something stinks in here!   I love the smell of flowers.   How do you like the smell of flames?!   Not as much.   Water bug! Not taking sides!   Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic!   I've got issues!   Well, well, well, a royal flush!   - You're bluffing. - Am I?   Surf's up, dude!   Poo water!   That bowl is gnarly.   Except for those dirty yellow rings!   Kenneth! What are you doing?!   You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it!   We need to talk!   He's just a little bee!   And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time!   Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life?   No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them!   Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...   My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster!   Goodbye, Ken.   And for your information,   I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man!   I'm sorry about all that.   I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it!   I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me.   I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well.   Are you OK for the trial?   I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas.   We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.   Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers...   Yeah.   Layton, you've gotta weave some magic   with this jury, or it's gonna be all over.   Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around   is to remind them of what they don't like about bees.   - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic?   Only to losing, son. Only to losing.   Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know.   What exactly is your relationship   to that woman?   We're friends.   - Good friends? - Yes.   How good? Do you live together?   Wait a minute...   Are you her little...   ...bedbug?   I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand,   doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children?   - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents!   - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are!   Hold me back!   You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson?   He's denouncing bees!   Don't y'all date your cousins?   - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy!   Adam, don't! It's what he wants!   Oh, I'm hit!!   Oh, lordy, I am hit!   Order! Order!   The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins!   I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction!   You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages!   Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way!   - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs.   What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison   from my heaving buttocks?   I will have order in this court. Order!   Order, please!   The case of the honeybees versus the human race   took a pointed turn against the bees   yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery.   - Hey, buddy. - Hey.   - Is there much pain? - Yeah.   I...   I blew the whole case, didn't I?   It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died.   I'd be better off dead. Look at me.   They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.   Look, there's a little celery still on it.   What was it like to sting someone?   I can't explain it. It was all...   All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy!   All right.   You think it was all a trap?   Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this.   What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world.   What will the humans do to us if they win?   I don't know.   I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad.   Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!   Oh, my.   Oould you get a nurse to close that window?   - Why? - The smoke.   Bees don't smoke.   Right. Bees don't smoke.   Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking.   That's it! That's our case!   It is? It's not over?   Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.   Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can.   And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.   Mr. Flayman.   Yes? Yes, Your Honor!   Where is the rest of your team?   Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.   Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,   and as a result, we don't make very good time.   I actually heard a funny story about...   Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs   taken up enough of this court's valuable time?   How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on?   They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges   against my clients, who run legitimate businesses.   I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case!   Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going   to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion.   But you can't! We have a terrific case.   Where is your proof? Where is the evidence?   Show me the smoking gun!   Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun?   Here is your smoking gun.   What is that?   It's a bee smoker!   What, this? This harmless little contraption?   This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee.   Look at what has happened   to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?"   Is this what nature intended for us?   To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines   and man-made wooden slat work camps?   Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man?   - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card.   Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees!   Free the bees! Free the bees!   Free the bees!   Free the bees! Free the bees!   The court finds in favor of the bees!   Vanessa, we won!   I knew you could do it! High-five!   Sorry.   I'm OK! You know what this means?   All the honey will finally belong to the bees.   Now we won't have to work so hard all the time.   This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson.   You'll regret this.   Barry, how much honey is out there?   All right. One at a time.   Barry, who are you wearing?   My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.   - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean?   We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years.   Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement?   First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps.   Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with,   every last drop.   We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more   than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine.   We're all aware of what they do in the woods.   Wait for my signal.   Take him out.   He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine.   And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames...   But it's just a prance-about stage name!   ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products   and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments.   Oan't breathe.   Bring it in, boys!   Hold it right there! Good.   Tap it.   Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming!   - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down.   Shut down honey production!   Stop making honey!   Turn your key, sir!   What do we do now?   Oannonball!   We're shutting honey production!   Mission abort.   Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base.   Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there.   Oh, yeah?   What's going on? Where is everybody?   - Are they out celebrating? - They're home.   They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in.   I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket.   At least we got our honey back.   Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't?   It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it.   This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well.   And now...   Now I can't.   I don't understand why they're not happy.   I thought their lives would be better!   They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people.   You don't have any idea what's going on, do you?   - What did you want to show me? - This.   What happened here?   That is not the half of it.   Oh, no. Oh, my.   They're all wilting.   Doesn't look very good, does it?   No.   And whose fault do you think that is?   You know, I'm gonna guess bees.   Bees?   Specifically, me.   I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things.   It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.   That's our whole SAT test right there.   Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom.   And then, of course...   The human species?   So if there's no more pollination,   it could all just go south here, couldn't it?   I know this is also partly my fault.   How about a suicide pact?   How do we do it?   - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice.   Right, right.   Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going.   I had to open my mouth and talk.   Vanessa?   Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going?   To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena.   They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying.   It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it.   Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this.   I know. Me neither.   Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports.   Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?   Roses!   Vanessa!   Roses?!   Barry?   - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are.   Flowers, bees, pollen!   I know. That's why this is the last parade.   Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down?   Oould you slow down?   Barry!   OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault.   Yes, it kind of is.   I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you   with the flower shop. I've made it worse.   Actually, it's completely closed down.   I thought maybe you were remodeling.   But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined.   I don't want to hear it!   All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen.   I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park.   All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got.   - Bees. - Park.   - Pollen! - Flowers.   - Repollination! - Across the nation!   Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia.   They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy.   Security will be tight.   I have an idea.   Vanessa Bloome, FTD.   Official floral business. It's real.   Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.   Thank you. It was a gift.   Once inside, we just pick the right float.   How about The Princess and the Pea?   I could be the princess, and you could be the pea!   Yes, I got it.   - Where should I sit? - What are you?   - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea?   It goes under the mattresses.   - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal.   You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco!   Let's see what this baby'll do.   Hey, what are you doing?!   Then all we do is blend in with traffic...   ...without arousing suspicion.   Once at the airport, there's no stopping us.   Stop! Security.   - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes.   Has it been in your possession the entire time?   Would you remove your shoes?   - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me.   I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight.   Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job.   Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job!   I think this is gonna work.   It's got to work.   Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott.   We have a bit of bad weather in New York.   It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay.   Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it.   I gotta get up there and talk to them.   Be careful.   Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine?   I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.   Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.   - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing.   Bee!   Don't freak out! My entire species...   What are you doing?   - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney?   Don't move.   Oh, Barry.   Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain.   Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit?   And please hurry!   What happened here?   There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded.   One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious!   - Is that another bee joke? - No!   No one's flying the plane!   This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status?   This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York.   Where's the pilot?   He's unconscious, and so is the copilot.   Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience?   As a matter of fact, there is.   - Who's that? - Barry Benson.   From the honey trial?! Oh, great.   Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee.   It's got giant wings, huge engines.   I can't fly a plane.   - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes.   How hard could it be?   Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning.   This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport,   where a suspenseful scene is developing.   Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory...   That's Barry!   ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers   and an incapacitated flight crew.   Flowers?!   We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls   with absolutely no flight experience.   Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane.   I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres.   They've done enough damage.   But isn't he your only hope?   Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all.   Their wings are too small...   Haven't we heard this a million times?   "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."   - Get this on the air! - Got it.   - Stand by. - We're going live.   The way we work may be a mystery to you.   Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs.   But let me tell you about a small job.   If you do it well, it makes a big difference.   More than we realized. To us, to everyone.   That's why I want to get bees back to working together.   That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O.   We get behind a fellow.   - Black and yellow! - Hello!   Left, right, down, hover.   - Hover? - Forget hover.   This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep!   Barry, what happened?!   Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time.   - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not!   So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.   All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out!   Move out!   Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane!   Don't have to yell.   I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble.   It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice!   It's not a tone. I'm panicking!   I can't do this!   Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it!   You snap out of it.   You snap out of it.   - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!   - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!   - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!   - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn.   How is the plane flying?   I don't know.   Hello?   Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there?   The Pollen Jocks!   They do get behind a fellow.   - Black and yellow. - Hello.   All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop.   Where? I can't see anything. Oan you?   No, nothing. It's all cloudy.   Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.   - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee.   Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!   Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something.   - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.   Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.   Bring the nose down.   Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!   - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that!   Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!   - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK.   Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys?   Affirmative!   Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.   Land on that flower!   Ready? Full reverse!   Spin it around!   - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one?   - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower!   That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower   made of millions of bees!   Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.   Rotate around it.   - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly.   Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern?   Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse!   Just drop it. Be a part of it.   Aim for the center!   Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!   Oome on, already.   Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!   - Yes. No high-five! - Right.   Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower?   What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius!   - Thank you. - But we're not done yet.   Listen, everyone!   This runway is covered with the last pollen   from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth.   That means this is our last chance.   We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this.   If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?   Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains?   We're bees!   Keychain!   Then follow me! Except Keychain.   Hold on, Barry. Here.   You've earned this.   Yeah!   I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.   Oh, yeah.   That's our Barry.   Mom! The bees are back!   If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time.   I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight!   Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next?   Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.   Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel!   Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat!   I had no idea.   Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment?   Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you.   Sorry I'm late.   He's a lawyer too?   I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase.   Have a great afternoon!   Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere.   No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me.   You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next?   All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly.   Thank you, Barry!   That bee is living my life!   Let it go, Kenny.   - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go.   - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is.   Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office.   You have got to start thinking bee, my friend.   - Thinking bee! - Me?   Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it.   I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here?   I'm not making a major life decision during a production number!   All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys.   I had virtually no rehearsal for that.