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mrpenguinpants · 3 years

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Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

I’ve been a hermit ever since covid dropped lol. Yes, you’re doing social distancing right. Imagine going outside? Ptff, what a weird concept. But I’m happy you’ve stuck around for so long despite the constant brainworms I have. Oho?? More crumbs 👀 Lemme just crack my knuckles real quick. I’m throwing a reader in just so I have an excuse to tag everyone haha. These are a lot more scuffy compared to my usual HCs but let me brainrot for a sec.

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Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Genshin: University AU [V1]

Genshin: Roomate HCs [V1]

Genshin: Mythos AU - Cat Xiao

[Masterlist]

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[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @aethwie @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife @dokidokisama @rokipersonal @minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki @qimiie @onowie @hanniejji @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @sunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @nonniechan @htnicayh @genshins1mpact @morthecreator @aanne2601 @aklxojjk @fulltimeventisimp @legionqueensav @castinluckgamer

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Zhongli

Your first impressions of Zhongli was that he was an egotistical and selfish brat. To be fair, you might have adopted some of those qualities yourself but you were both children at the time. Your sister, Guizhong, was tasked to take care of Zhongli in place of his parents which lead to your first meeting with the infamous Imperial Prince. At first, you were excited to finally meet someone who was the same age as you and Guizhong was always so kind. But when he turned to face you two, he just asked if Guizhong was supposed to be his concubine. You weren’t sure whether to gag or throw your shoe at him but Guizhong quickly intercepted before you could do anything that could get you killed. It’s only until you spent more time with him that Zhongli tells you that he has never had someone care for him or want to spend time with him without some alterative motive.

Zhongli radiates sheltered child from birth. To outsiders, he seems really slow on normal everyday tasks but that’s because he’s never had to worry about doing mundane things. He’s always had someone else to do them for him that when he’s out in public, he just stands around and waits for someone to help him. It’s incredibly awkward for everyone in the situation when Zhongli forgets to bring mora and just stands off to the side until one of his servants comes to pick up his check. That’s how Zhongli got such a bad reputation of being a spoiled brat despite being a well-mannered and polite man. When he drops something he just turns to look at you, back at the object, then back at you. You have to pound it into your brain that no, Zhongli is not a lazy and he isn’t trying to be insulting, that’s just how he’s lived his life. When you tell him he is fully capable to picking things up, because what if he dropped something important when he was older and the wind swept it away, he pounders the thought as if you’ve just explained the meaning of the celestials to him that you give up and just pick it up for him.

A Prince from Mondstadt named Venti used to come to Liyue for playdates while their father’s talked business and politics. He was the complete opposite of Zhongli but you genuinely liked him. While he was a bit more bolder and hyper compared to the calm and quiet Zhongli, he would always try and get Zhongli out of the palace and outside. You end up missing so many fun and interesting things when you’re locked up in your study room. How can the next Emperor care about his land when he doesn’t even know what it’s like to live there? It was the first time you and Zhongli went out just for fun and you might have gone a bit overboard in hindsight, but Venti’s personality and the feeling of freedom to do anything was addicting. Plus, watching Zhongli’s reactions to all these new feelings made him feel a bit more human. While you knew that Zhongli would do everything for Liyue, you never got the impression that his heart was in it.

From then on, you and Zhongli try and carve some time out of his schedule to go down to the streets and have a little bit of a break. When you both built kites and scaled all the way to the mountains to fly them, it was the first time you’ve seen Zhongli be bad at something. He always had such elegance and perfection whenever his teachers asked him to do something but as soon as the kite took flight, it would stumble then come crashing down. Zhongli had the most heartbroken puppy expression on his face that you couldn’t help but burst out laughing. While you’re on the ground gasping for air and probably have the most ridiculous expression on your face, Zhongli smiles gently as he looks at you then back to Liyue. The moment is ruined when Guizhong comes running towards you both and scolds you for sneaking out.

While it’s somewhat annoying when other attendants in palace gush about how well Zhongli is growing into becoming the next emperor, both in smarts and appearance, you have to somewhat agree with them in some places. If you want to know the history of Liyue or how to properly place a tea set, he can tell you in incredible detail. However, when it comes to social cues and interactions, he’s awful at them. Everything is treated a business deal that it makes everyone somewhat nervous or uncomfortable that you’re internally dying at any social event he goes to. But despite the awkwardness, he has a lot of admires that frequently send him letters of marriage or adoration that you have to shift through. It makes you a bit uncomfortable reading the flowery language but it surprised you a bit how many people have the misconception that Zhongli planning to have you as his spouse. When you mention this to Zhongli as a joke, he returns to his thinking pose and he contemplates the idea before nodding and agreeing with the letters. He proposes to you right then and there and it’s such a sudden development that your brain has finally broke and you pass out.

Venti

Venti is one of those royalty types that spends so much time outside and away from his duties that he’s basically thrown his cape and crown to the wind. The first time Zhongli visited Monstadt, his first impressions of Venti were him singing to a crowd. While Zhongli doesn’t understand why Venti would spend his time on music rather than his studies, they still get along well. Mostly because Venti has a very easy going personality, even if he’s a bit blunt, but whatever comments he makes fly over Zhongli’s head. Unlike him, you’re the complete opposite. You’re a knight in training with an earnest heart that wants to protect the City of Mondstadt with your entire being. While you don’t necessarily hate Venti, because he never asked to be born into the royal family, you can’t help but get frustrated at his nonchalant attitude towards everything aside from alcohol and music.

Your first meeting with him was during your time training under the Favonius Knights. You wanted to get a bit more practice late in the night when Venti stumbled upon you bullying a poor wooden dummy before he announces his arrival. He laughs a bit at your fumbling as you quickly get into a proper kneel but he waves it off saying it was unnecessary before he asks what you’re up to. You’re in mid-explanation when Venti cuts you off with a yawn and you can feel the irritation creeping up on you as you snap back why he’s outside instead of inside the safe walls of the castle. Your irritation grows even further when Venti smugly grins, patting himself on the back from getting a rise out of you, before he reaches into the bag you just noticed he was carrying to produce sheets of music.

While his teacher’s drone on and on about the production of wine, he is busy writing songs in his textbooks. While he understands the importance of his role, he thinks the people can rule themselves just fine without his help. He wants to leave his crown and become a bard and live an ordinary but free life. How he’s always sneaking out to go explore without the world constantly breathing down his neck. Whether his posture is correct or if he’s memorized the history of berries wouldn’t matter. Honestly, Venti is weighing his options of either staying as a royal or leaving everything behind to pursue the life he wants. When he finishes his heart-felt speech he expects you to give him those same pitiful and woe is you eyes but you’re just angry. You can understand his sentiment, living a life that you never asked for isn’t fun, but suddenly packing your things and jumping ship would only cause chaos and conflict. At least have some sort of replacement before you leave damnit.

Now it’s your turn to be surprised, rather than taking offense to you, a nameless knight, basically insulting the him, the Prince, he lights up in excitement. He rips his cape and crown off before he’s shoving them onto you before you can even say anything. He’s almost bouncing on his feet as he tells you that you can freely take his crown and become the next in line. You have no idea how that would work but he mentions that he knows a man named Albedo that can help change your appearance to look like him. That way, you get to protect the City you love so much and he get’s to live the life he’s always wanted. It’s completely fool proof with no flaws whatsoever! Except for the fact, that he is jumping way too far to conclusions, he’s shoving his responsibilities onto you, and most importantly, you don’t the first thing about Venti and how to act like him.

Before you know it, Venti has dragged you to meet his Father to personally appoint you as his personal knight. He doesn’t take no for an answer even though you aren’t qualified at all to be protecting someone of high position as him but Venti’s always been a handful that someone needs to watch over him. You have no idea how one night managed to throw your entire life into this chaos but you’re not sure if you can even get out of this situation at this point.

Kaeya

It all happened so suddenly. You and him were playing in the gardens when his father rushed in and took both of your hands and dragged you to the border to Khaenri’ah. The land you were both used to seeing, the friendly baker that would always give you both sweets, or the magic that used to flow so freely was transformed into red cubes. You were both scared and confused but as you both reached the border oh Khaenri’ah, a large gate that leads to the above world of Teyvat, his father tells you both to run as far as you could and never look back before he pushed you both in. It wasn’t until years later that you both discovered that a corrupted god had taken control of Khaenri’ah. Now, everyone believes that the Khaenri’ah prince is dead because he’s been missing for so long and whatever hope Khaenri’ah has is gone. For his own safety, he had to change his name to Kaeya and you both found yourself at the gates of Mondstadt.

It took a lot of adjusting for the both of you but Kaeya especially. Your mother had dropped you into the care of Kaeya’s family for a short while before everything went downhill. She was a bit on the neglectful side but she was still your mother and you knew she was alive. On the other hand, Kaeya lost his entire family and nation in a single moment. Whatever pure happiness and bright personality he used to have quickly regressed until he was a shy and quiet kid. You know he blames himself for what happened even if there wasn’t anything he could have done but he’s grown a fear of outsiders so he tends to avoid other children his age. Instead finding comfort in playing with the funny looking abyss mages and slimes that are on the outskirt of Mondstadt. While he doesn’t seem bothered by the weird comments other people make of him, you know deep down he does get hurt, that it makes you so mad that you end up lashing out.

You end up getting into a few fights as Kaeya patches you up. He scolds you and says that he doesn’t need you to go so far for him is when you make him a promise that you’ll protect him with everything you have. It’s the first moment since everything happened that he seems to gain back that life in his eyes. He blinks at you before he chuckles sheepishly and comments that you can’t even tie your shoes correctly do you stumble a bit. You’re a bit embarrassed at your sudden proclamation but stand determined about it. You both end up making a pinky promise to stay by each other’s side until the very end.

When you’re both older and in the position of Captain and Teacher in the Favonius Knights is when he seems to be a bit more open. You both end up gaining a reputation of the laid-back Calvary Captain that bother’s the strict but kind Teacher. He’s always waltzing in the middle of you class to tease you before you end up throwing something at him to get him to stop embarrassing you in front of new recruits. You end up getting back at him with your woe is me acting and push all your paper work on him. Since he loves spending so much time in your class, he should know how to do all your paper work right?. Despite all of this, if anyone needs to find Kaeya or you, you’re basically a packaged deal. Always attached to the hip.

Kaeya knows deep down, at some point he’s going to have to go back to Khaenri’ah and save his people but he’s conflicted. While he knows it’s selfish that he get’s to live a life of freedom, he wants to be selfish. Not just for him but for you as well. You’ve both basically lost everything and now that things are okay, he doesn’t want to give that up. While you both promised to stay together until the end, you’re the only person he has left and he doesn’t want to rope you into his mess or have you worry about him. He’s heard of the blond traveler in black and blue that is searching for the lost prince of an unnamed kingdom, knows that the peaceful life he has right now will come to an end, but he pushes it aside. Besides, there are more important things to attend to. Today might be the day he tells your students about how you fell into a lake because you got scared by a frog.

Jean

Jean is incredibly dedicated to her role and to her people because she’s genuinely a good person and wants to see people happy. Especially her sister Barbara. She’s a bit awkward and clumsy in her execution but she has a lot of heart. Being her personal knight, you know just how hard she works and you admire her greatly for her ideals and nature. She has such a professional and gentle façe when she’s out in public but as soon as she’s behind closed doors, she’s collapsing into your arms as the world lifts for a short while. You chuckle a bit amused at how different she appears to the outside world, how the ever prime and proper Princess wakes up with a rat’s nest, how her favourite food is pizza, or how she throws these 7 inch heels out the window as soon as a ball is over.

Due to Jean’s kind-hearted nature, when it comes to more pushy people she can’t seem to say no to. Travelers or citizens that think they can take advantage of the Princess is what makes your blood boil. While she isn’t stupid and knows that people are taking advantage of her, she wants to extend any help she can. Not for her public image but because that’s how she is. While it warms your heart that people like her exist, as her knight you can only let so many things slide. When some shady peddler tries to lead Jean somewhere, you’re already stepping in and smilingly sweetly as you grip the peddler’s hand in a death grip and not so subtlety say that he better have a good excuse for why he wants to drag the Princess away or there might be a problem.

When Jean is overworking herself and nearing her breaking point is when you step in. You may be her knight but you’re also her friend and you know when it’s time to stop her destructive habits. She might complain and reassure you that she’s fine but you don’t accept that. If she was “fine” her temperature wouldn’t be the same level as a pyro slime and she wouldn’t have such dark circles under her eyes. It’s a simple bend and lift to carry her in your arms that she ends up stuttering before going pink and let’s you carry her to her room. While she’s screaming into her hands, you’re preparing medicine and everything she’ll need to make a full recovery.

The hardest times for Jean is when her Father constantly pesters her to find a husband. Jean is an independent person and while yes, while being a workaholic isn’t against help, but she doesn’t believe she needs a husband just to make her entitled to rule her kingdom. Besides, Jean is secretly a hopeless romantic. You’re very tight lipped about secretly finding her love story books hidden under her bed unless you want to see her self-combust. You try your best to comfort her but there’s not a lot you can do for her situation other than offer words of reassurance and try and get her mind off things. While you’re patting her on the back she’s looking at you as if you’re the most oblivious person in the world.

Albedo

Albedo is a renowned alchemist that helps royal families with their problems with the use of his intelligence and abilities in alchemy. Something that only a few people can do throughout Teyvat, you being one of them as well. At first, you had admired Albedo and his abilities and saw him as a bit of a role model for young alchemist. Until you actually met him in person. He’s pretty much an emotionless void of a person that he comes off as extremely unempathetic when he listens to the woes of royals. While you sort of agree, the problems that royal’s commission you for are completely ridiculous and selfish, he doesn’t have a moral compass and if he can benefit from it. He’ll do it, no matter how questionable it may seem.

Maybe it’s because you have a little sister figure in your life to stir your moral compass but it still get’s you irritated. It’s always a joy to see Klee when you come back home from your travels that whatever bad mood you were in suddenly washes away. But when you knock on Alice’s door only to have it open to reveal Albedo holding Klee in his arms does your world come crashing down. Klee is completely ignorant to your internal screams as she scrabbles out of Albedo’s hands to give you a hug and take your hand in hers as she leads you inside. You can almost feel the inner workings of Albedo’s mind as he stares at you blankly as Klee shows you the new art she drew.

You both don’t mention or talk about it even when you happen to cross each other’s paths outside or you both end up seeing each other at Alice’s home. It’s a bit funny to you, to the outside world Albedo seems so aloof and untouchable, and yet you’re here watching him get tired from chasing Klee around and trying to stop her destroying her home with her bombs. It almost makes you smug when Klee listens to you better than Albedo, it might seem a bit petty and small but you don’t care. He ends up getting back at you when he ends up one-upping you in front of the royal court. He does a quick scan of the room before his eyes land on you and he shoots you a small smug smile before his face returns to it’s neutral expression. You’re clapping along with everyone with the most strained smile you can muster.

You manage to find out from Klee that Albedo enjoys drawing that the next time you see him, you ask if you could see him draw something or if he had sketches on hand. You’re fascinated by his drawings, more so than his actual research discoveries, as you look at the tiny details he’s managed to capture. Outside of Klee, no one’s really been interested in his drawings that he can’t help but feel a little flustered when you’re gushing about his work. It’s different from people praising his alchemist efforts, you’re not someone whose staring at him like he’s on a pedestal when you say you like his drawings, and it feels genuine. He offers a small smile and says that if you’d like, he’d love to show you some more sketches.

You’ve never noticed it until other people bring it up but Albedo seems close to you. Usually once he’s done his business he leaves but if you happen to be around, he sticks around a bit longer just to speak with you. How he seems comfortable to relax in your presence and even leans in closer. How he complies with your requests without any benefit to him. You’re not sure what type of relationship you hold with Albedo. You don’t think you’re friends but you’re definitely closer than acquaintance. If taking care of a a hyper active walking bomb doesn’t bring two people closer than you don’t know what does. But at the end of the day, you find you don’t really care. Not everything needs to be labelled and categorized like things are in alchemy. People don’t seem to understand but you always duck out and escape before you’re questioned further about your personal life. Unbeknownst to you, Albedo is watching you go as he ponders your words.

Childe

Childe is such a clown. He’s an assassin that doesn’t know the first thing about being subtle and is just in it for the fighting. He’s really just an incredibly egotistical bastard that likes being friendly with his targets, just to see their shocked expressions when it’s him that comes to take their life. He’s actually a pretty down to earth guy. While other assassins in the Fatui either have tragic backstories or some sad pitiful tale, Childe just laughs at them. His family is still alive and he’s never had any true hardships in his life. He’s pretty disliked for this reason but he’s a skilled enough fighter that it somewhat makes up for it.

Just when Childe’s life is at its peak, is when he slips and falls into the abyss. For the first time, he had to face against a threat and in a situation he has no control over which is completely foreign to him. He barely manages to survive until he’s saved by an unknown figure that goes by the name Skirk. While he’s grateful he’s still alive, facing his mortality for the first time gives him a lot to reflect about. Thus he makes the impulse decision to train under Skirk and grow stronger until he’s able to climb out of the abyss. That’s when he meets you who was travelling with Skirk for the same reasons. Your first interactions with this unknown teen is him challenging you to a fight, just for you to throw him over your shoulder as if he weighed nothing. You expected him to get angry or cry but instead he’s standing right back up and grinning like a psychopath as he asks for another fight. You’re looking at Skirk with the most, are we seriously bringing this child with us? look.

From then on, it’s been the three of you travelling through the floors of the abyss. Skirk tells you the stories of this place, how it used to be a great nation before corruption cause the citizens to be morphed and transformed into monsters. You and Childe learn how to fight alongside Skirk against these monsters until it ends up becoming a competition between you and Childe on who can kill the most monsters. Skirk is a bit worried that when you both are back into the outside world, if he should be worried about how morbid you both might appear. But while you’re both yelling at each other who actually landed the last kill on the regisvine while the hilichurls are cowering in a corner does he just accept that things aren’t going to change. The world will just have to accept it. If you both actually teamed up, and you have before, he thinks you both would be unstoppable but you’re both too stubborn.

Despite your rivalry, Childe still has his big brother instincts that whenever you get hurt he’s huffing over you like a mother hen as he scolds you for being so reckless. You’re ignoring the fact that he’s bleeding out while you have minor cuts because you don’t want a crybaby Childe on your hands. Even the harsh conditions of the Abyss, you both find ways to entertain yourself. Childe always challenges you to a fight every second of the day and he always ends up with a sore back when you knock him off his feet. And he always makes the joke that you’re sweeping him off his feet which ends up with him screaming bloody murder as you charge at him. It doesn’t help when he’s still yelling comments behind his shoulder that you might get mistaken for a gorilla when you’re both outside that Skirk has gotten so used to this that he simply ignores the attempted murder going on behind him.

When you’re both strong enough to climb to the gate of the Abyss, Skirk feels almost like a proud parent. Giving you a head pat and a hard slap to the back for Childe does Skirk wave you both off. You’re trying to mask your tears as Childe grins and promises to see you on the other side, that you’ll definitely meet up in the future no matter what. But when he finally returns to the Fatui, works his way back up to being an assassin, he almost thinks Skirk is laughing at him when he realizes that his first target is you. Not that he’s bothered by it, he'll be happy to see you again and see if he can finally beat you.

Baizhu

Baizhu is the most suspicious doctor in the history of all doctors. Some citizens aren’t even sure if he’s a qualified doctor but alas, he’s very good at his job and is a lot more tolerable compared to the Alchemist Albedo so that’s how he’s been able to keep his job. He works under the Liyue emperor so even if citizens had issues with him, it’s not like they could do anything in the first place. People aren’t sure whether he’s joking or being honest when he explains what he’s been privately working on behind the scenes. From experiments to rituals, they are taken aback but Baizhu just smiles and says he’s just kidding. Being his assistant, you have to constantly reassure others that Baizhu is a bit of a sadist and likes to get a rise out of people. Besides, why would a doctor be so interested in those type of things? It’s incredibly unnerving but no one questions it. They won’t know what to do in the first place if their suspicious are correct.

While Baizhu knows how to do his job, he’s always sending you to do the dirty work. From getting medicinal plants up on the very top of mountains or bringing cranky old men their prescriptions, whenever you’re done one task he’s got three more for you. He could at the very least take the trash out while he’s busy doing nothing. At least the job has a few perks. You’ve always had numerous health issues and while Baizhu’s reputation is a bit on thin ice, you wouldn’t trust anyone else to look you over. He’s a bit weird about it, you’re pretty sure Baizhu will never love another person emotionally but when it comes to the science behind a human body, he’s absolutely smitten. He tries to reassure you that he does care for the wellbeing of Liyue but you wave it off at him trying to butter you up before he asks something ridiculous of you.

You and his snake, Changsheng, do not like each other. You think she’s an annoying and bratty snake that Baizhu needs to throw into a jar to shut up while she thinks you’re a complete nuisance and doesn’t understand why Baizhu keeps you around. Baizhu has tried to get you both to reconcile but it always devolves into a petty argument of back-handed insults until Baizhu has enough and tells you both to quiet down. To be truthful, both of your hatred towards each other stems from two completely different reasons rather than disliking each other’s personality, but you can never bring it up to Baizhu. It’s not a conversation anyone wants to have.

If he has one positive, it’s his adopted daughter Qiqi who is just an absolute sweetheart. She’s shy and prefers to follow after Baizhu and you like a lost duckling. While Baizhu might be the worst boss in this history of all bosses, it makes you grin smugly internally when Qiqi chooses to stay cuddled in your arms instead of his. Qiqi is 95% the reason why you stay in this job, not that Baizhu would ever let you leave, because you’ve genuinely grown fond of someone for the first time the same way she has for you. You bring her along whenever you need to give prescriptions to citizens just so she isn’t stuck in within the same four walls and the locals love her. From her forgetful nature or how she shy’s behind your legs whenever someone new approach's you both. It’s so cute that people tend to ignore the floating rumours that Baizhu is reanimating his previously deceased family.

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I have no idea if I’m just uncultured or if “Always and Forever” Au’s are a thing. I hope you all like this 👉👈 it’s kind of messy and all over the place and I lowkey don’t know if I like my brainrot (there’s a lot of issues ik). I kinda want to do a part 2 where I include other characters but let me know if that’s something interesting? Oh and feel free to add to this, I’d love to hear your ideas.

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scrimmification · 3 years

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taking a self care day and was instantly hit with temptation so u know what. here’s that dhurkemara essay. but it’ll be under a cut because i’m polite like that

the following is some canon facts sprinkled in with mostly my own headcanons and opinions. but i’m right about everything. cw for mentions of trauma and aa6 spoilers.

i should actually start this by saying that i see a lot of polycule dhurke/amara/jove or dhurke/amara/datz and while it is cute i feel a bit weird about using a poly relationship as just a “oh he has two hands” solution to love triangles. not that poly relationships aren’t valid, but it’s usually just people putting characters together without thinking about how the dynamic would even function. as if a polycule is a band-aid solution.

but that’s not important because this essay is about why dhurke and amara should just be friends (post SOJ)

i do not respect capcom or its canon, but here’s a bunch of canonical soj facts that are kinda fucked up; - when nahyuta is born, amara is 19 and dhurke is 20 - when the palace fire breaks out, amara is 21 and dhurke is 22 - there’s a gap of approximately 8 years of time where dhurke thinks amara is dead before they reunite and have rayfa (they’re each around the age of 30 at the time) - there’s a period of time anywhere from 9 months - 1 year that they’re living together again before rayfa and amara are both kidnapped - following this, dhurke never sees his wife ever again

because i have extreme brainrot, i sat down and feasibly considered the amount of time they would’ve been together. like, genuinely face to face together. if you only take into account the numbers the game gives you, then that means out of 25 years of marriage, they only see each other for about 3 of them. i tend to tack on an extra year or so for dating, but that’s still a really short amount of time, with almost all of it being before the palace fire ever happened. not to mention, they married incredibly young, and amara is royalty. typically royal families will push for children to be wed as soon as they come of age.

there’s also the fact that canonically, dhurke was not wealthy to any degree. he mentions in a throw away line having a bunch of weird odd jobs including both farmer and street performer (side note, street performer dhurke is hilarious). considering amara was basically hailed as a goddess by virtue of existing, i kind of doubt they were childhood friends or anything before that. my own hcs for how they met and got married initially tend to fall into a romeo and juliet style of mushy romance. plucky lawyer steals the heart of the queen with his humble charm and promises to whisk her away kind of thing. idk i do actually think they were very in love when they were younger, and maybe like... TOO in love, but my essay and thoughts tend to skew towards characterization through how the two of them grow through their traumas. so let’s just go in order of events here;

the palace fire

i do not care what capcom tries to tell me, dhurke has burns. if amara has a giant chest mark from being in the fire for a very short amount of time, dhurke would have full body burns from literally breaking into and out of a burning building. do you know how hot fire is? it’s fucking hot. it’s also genuinely terrifying. my point is i hc dhurke has some form of pyrophobia.

the years after the palace fire and before rayfa is born aren’t given much canon information, but it is stated that amara is convinced dhurke was out to kill her and willingly lives in the palace outside of the public eye. she’s convinced that dhurke is evil and was trying to kill her for at least twice as long as they were married. that kind of skews your perception of a person, no matter how much you might have once loved them. even if you STILL love them, it’s different. feelings change with time, and i think that’s a really fun thing to explore in fiction.

the rescue/rayfa’s birth

so here’s where i add the drama. just sprinkle it in. there’s a very sneaky line in the game that they kind of slip in during dhurke’s recounting of events around the time rayfa was born, and i have not stopped thinking about it for 2 years.

so plot wise, when apollo presses dhurke about lying about amara being dead, he talks about how he (somehow) got a tip that amara was alive and still being held in the palace. he broke in to save her and potentially run away with her, datz, and and nahyuta into safety, but they add something else in there. dhurke has a moment where he says she didn’t initially believe his innocence. and it’s kind of just played as a joke.

but because i like conflict and i do not write dhurke the same hyper-toxic-masculine way they do in canon because i think Men Should Be Allowed To Have Feelings i thought. man that must fucking suck. everyone in the entire kingdom thinks he’s the devil, and the one person he’s been doing it all for the sake of - his wife - initially doubts his innocence. of course this is obviously an understandable response. she was basically trapped and gaslit for nearly a full decade over an event that nearly cost her her own life (and would have to instead come to terms with the fact her own sister wanted her dead) but like it still. it would still suck to hear that from your spouse?

they were together for under a year, and in this time rayfa was born. this is probably my favorite window of time to explore a dhurke and amara relationship adapting because they would be such different people now. time already effects how you personally grow and adapt, but the kind of horrors they went to would drastically change them both. neither of them would be the same kids they fell in love with, and dhurke had just shipped one of his kids to america in an attempt to protect him. he’d already be down bad, but to have to deal with that, his wife not fully trusting him, nahyuta not knowing their own mother and most likely not trusting her initially, and also an entire pregnancy... that’d be an incredible amount of stress, on top of the fact they’re both living under the law.

(sidebar; because of how weird they had to twist the timeline to make it so apollo was gone before rayfa was born so they never met, i tend to headcanon this as dhurke trying to send both his kids to america to protect them, but not being able to initially send nahyuta because of their royalty status, and it quickly becoming too late.)

something else that confused me was why the hell they’d even have another kid while they’re both trying to save themselves, and that... uh. okay maybe this is an unpopular thing to say in terms of headcanon, but i actually believe rayfa was an accidental birth. like logistically, if you see your wife for the first time in almost a decade, you’re going to do Something. and you don’t have protection in the mountains. i’m just. i’m just saying.

but all of that being said, more than anything, i think they’d still be in love during this point. or more accurately, i think they’d be trying to convince themselves they’re still in love. they wouldn’t be the same people anymore, but the only thing dhurke has left is his family. it’s the thing he’s fighting for, and amara would have just been told she can’t go back to her sister for her own safety. there’s this kind of pressure to stay together for both themselves and their kids. there’s also a part where dhurke implies that the two of them were planning on trying to escape khura’in together and cross country lines before shit hits the fan.

turnabout revolution

so if you’re a coward who actually considers canon, after rayfa and amara get kidnapped, dhurke never sees them again. sure, he gets spirit channeled by amara in the final trial, but he never sees her face to face, or gets a chance to speak with her. if you’re like me and simply refuse to believe your favorite characters die, then that means there’s a 14 year gap between the next time dhurke and amara speak to each other.

what’s the first thing amara does when they see each other again? accuse him of murder.

in fairness, she’s under threat of blackmail to do so. she’s trying to protect both her children at this point, and clearly had a role to play in inga’s murder herself that she doesn’t want to admit to. but at the same time, when apollo reveals that dhurke was actively hiding evidence because he still loved her, she seemed genuinely surprised. this revelation is the thing that gets her to actually go against ga’ran’s plot. there’s also the obvious point of her picking her children’s safety over dhurke’s entire revolution, and what he’s been working on for her sake for most of his life. and honestly I thinks she made the right and most understandable choice. the real part that makes me think they wouldn’t get back together after the events of soj (provided dhurke isn’t an epic ghost guy) is,

amara chooses her own safety over dhurke’s, while dhurke chooses her safety over his own.

dhurke’s a very hopeful character, a very jovial one. throughout all his screen time, there’s no point where he genuinely thinks nahyuta has betrayed him. there’s no point where he thinks apollo isn’t capable of handling the case without him. he clearly cares a lot about his family, and would do anything for them. this includes amara. he’s not asked to hide evidence for her sake, he just does it. at the risk of undermining his entire revolution and destroying it entirely, he tries to hide evidence that’d implicate his wife of murder.

amara’s more of a realist. she doesn’t give up information until she absolutely has to. she doesn’t even admit to loving dhurke until the last moment she’s on screen. the only lines in the game she has as herself are during the trial, and half the time she’s just telling everyone how horrible and awful and terrible her husband was. and again, i must say, this would probably suck to hear.

the aftermath

the country is kind of a little fucked after soj. sure, it ends on a positive note, kind of, but there’s both a lot of political stuff to fix. and a lot of family stuff to fix. dhurke basically has to rebuild his relationship with every single one of his family members (and in rayfa’s case, from scratch). while I do think marriage is important and stuff, I don’t think it’d be... the most important.

what i’m saying is i think they’d be friends. even if they stayed married, they’d have to relearn almost everything about each other. they haven’t seen each other in forever, and also amara just threw dhurke under the bus. that’d sting! i think he’d forgive her for that, but it’d sting. knowing your partner would have willingly let you and your entire cause go up in flames sucks. it all sucks. soj is a very downer aa game.

and also i value m/f friendship a lot. i value older adult relationships a lot. i value exploring unfortunate and uncomfortable themes in learning to grow as a person and dealing with your own trauma a lot. i think there’s a lot to explore in characters like dhurke and amara. alot of people prefer thinking about the relationships between nahyuta and apollo and rayfa as siblings, which is great! but... i don’t know. i really like fictional dads. i like thinking about him getting more time with his kids. i like thinking about amara learning to become a person instead of a revered goddess. i like them becoming real people instead of just figureheads in a political war.

also i think dhurke and datz should kiss because they raised kids together in the mountains for 20 years

#thanks for coming to. something #i think about dead side character so you don't have to #dhurke sahdmadhi #amara sigatar khura'in #soj spoilers

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millennialdemon · 3 years

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Coming off of true trainwrecks the likes of Mars of Destruction and Skelter Heaven, I actually came out of Dark Cat with a sense of respect and gratitude for its competence.

For the uninitiated, Dark Cat is a notoriously bad OVA from 1991 that you will see listed in many Worst Anime Ever countdowns. It follows 2 brothers, “dark cats” Hyoi and Rui, who investigate supernatural happenings and purify evil with their somewhat undefined powers of shapeshifting and increased strength/agility. The majority of the story in the OVA is about a school girl named Aimi, who is pining after her childhood friend Koizumi, who since the rejection and sudden death of his crush, has been suffering a depressive episode and ignoring her. Hyoi and Rui sense dark forces are manifesting at the school, and they keep an eye on Aimi while fighting off the increasingly brazen appearances of demonic enemies.

A monstrous ex-dark cat named Jukokubo is revealed to be manipulating Aimi with his dark powers, and Hyoi and Rui fight him, but not before Aimi succumbs to the evil magic -- as well as her own violent jealousy and overprotectiveness of Koizumi -- and transforms into a horrific tentacle monster that kills seemingly everyone in the school.

In the end, Koizumi realizes that Aimi was in love with him the entire time, and doesn’t fight her when she engulfs him completely. Apparently this act of selfless love was enough to purify them both, and although they do indeed die, their souls are “light” and able to ascend. This throws a wrench in Jukokubo’s plan to prove that humans are The Worst, so he turns tail and leaves his boss fight against Hyoi, threatening to return again. In the epilogue, Hyoi and Rui reflect on the mission and wax poetic about the nature of humanity while crossing a busy street.

… Ehm… happy ending, yes?

Now then: there are actually quite a few things I enjoyed about Dark Cat, and they are all very simple things that I had come to miss after days of watching other entries from the Bottom of the Barrel.

It had a narrative, and was -- mostly -- comprehensible in its storytelling, as rushed as it may have been. There was an undeniable presence of an art director, something I’m not convinced was present in a few of the other similarly rated titles I have seen. Some of the shots were noticeably well composed and even clever, and required an artistic vision and some decent effort to create. The animation wasn’t awful, the designs ranged from serviceable to genuinely charming (I like the subtlety of Hyoi and Rui’s cat-like features!), and I liked that the characters actually emoted. It wasn’t as generic as I expected and took some risks, even if they didn’t pay off and left it with a reputation of being “too grotesque to be enjoyable”.

I can understand the common criticisms of the gore and body horror being poorly animated, but I won’t decry it for existing and “being ugly”... of course it’s ugly, it’s body horror reminiscent of The Thing from The Thing. (Now would be a good time to warn people not to look this OVA up, unless they are sure they are okay with body horror and gore of this calibre. Tentacles with teeth and spines rip out of people’s skin from the inside and deform their hosts, it is quite awful! I would also include a warning for trypophobia -- there are shots where the mutations form clusters of holes on the skin.) The body horror in Dark Cat being disgusting and making my skin crawl isn’t a fault -- I think it’s the intended purpose. Though I will concede that:

The phallic imagery of the horrific flesh mutations, particularly that of the teacher who attacked Rui, was… bizarre, considering that otherwise the OVA isn’t particularly dark in tone or otherwise sexually graphic.

Perhaps having grotesque body horror is completely unexpected in a story about two bishounen teens (?) who can turn into cats and fight ghosts.

Yes, Dark Cat, the OVA put on Worst Anime Ever lists for being a grotesque spectacle, is just as commonly placed on those lists for being a dumb anime about guys that can transform into house cats and who fight supernatural entities with not so amazing powers. This is a gripe I’ve seen in a few popular reviews, but there was no point during my watching experience that I thought, “Man, these teens are pansies, they don’t even turn into big scary lions or anything! What’s the point, it’s practically a power-down! cinemasins ding” because I don’t go into anime expecting every single male character I see to be Big & Strong & Cool, because I uh… don’t have brain worms I guess? I don’t know what to say about this criticism really, other than people who watch a lot of shounen have very strange hang ups about super powers.

Otherwise, it seems the biggest reason Dark Cat is lauded as One of the Worst -- perhaps even ahead of the silly concept and nauseating gore -- is actually because of the abysmal english dub. It’s my honour to say that I didn’t watch the dub, so it doesn’t factor in at all into my impressions!

So in the end, perhaps my only true gripes with Dark Cat are:

Despite having no particular issue with body horror and gore existing, the extent of destruction and graphic death gave the OVA a bit of a snuff film vibe.

The conclusion to the story was quite bad.

It could be surmised by the brief plot outline I wrote earlier that Dark Cat isn’t a very complicated story. Demons and ghosts exist and wreak havoc on emotionally vulnerable humans, and supernatural soldiers try to mediate between the realms by purifying tortured ghosts and saving those dragged into darkness by evil entities. These beats are common in the supernatural genre of anime, but Dark Cat’s handling of its tragic morality tale left me more confused than anything.

Koizumi didn’t do anything wrong -- he shouldn’t have had to die for the sin of not reciprocating Aimi’s feelings, nor for developing depression after the rejection and death of his classmate and crush. Aimi… did things wrong, but was nevertheless the most compelling character in the OVA. Throughout Aimi was kind, patient, and forgiving when it came to being treated badly by Koizumi. In the finale however, it is revealed that Aimi was the one responsible for Koizumi’s crush’s death, assumedly having murdered her out of jealousy or out of revenge on Koizumi’s behalf for hurting his feelings. Prior to this, the first students to be killed by the tentacle monsters just happened to be the ones that had bullied Koizumi in class earlier that day -- implying that Aimi was getting revenge on them, as well.

It was with these revelations that I started to wonder: Why not just let the flesh monster manifest as a direct result of Aimi’s negative feelings? Aimi confessed to murdering Koizumi’s crush before the events of the OVA -- would she have done so if she wasn’t being influenced by the malignant force set on her by Jukokubo? I feel that her arc would have been much more interesting without the introduction of a non-compelling and badly designed villain like Jukokubo, because then we would know it was all her. Even if she was influenced by forces exacerbating her pre-existing jealousy and rage, that is a more satisfying option than having a big dumb green cat of a villain to trace everything back to so neatly.

And really, what did Jukokubo do in the story beyond take the spotlight, and the blame, from Aimi? He had some previous relation to Hyoi and Rui, but it’s not developed at all, and his ideological rivalry with Hyoi was trivial. Hyoi could have come to the same conclusions about holding out hope for humanity without Jukokubo there to insist he be a guest to debate on his political podcast.

The lack of accountability regarding Aimi is a part of why the resolution to her conflict with Koizumi feels so wrong -- he succumbs to her feelings because he realizes the evil was born from her suffering, and he feels that he has to sacrifice himself to make up for unknowingly hurting her so much that she turned into a monster from hell. In the end she is absolved via being purified and getting to die with her spirit entwined with Koizumi’s, and he apologizes for having not recognized how he was hurting her.

Aimi kills his crush, kills his bullies, and ends up -- inadvertently, at least -- killing almost all of their classmates, because she was tilted about her childhood friend not realizing she had romantic feelings for him. And when Koizumi learns all of this, he apologizes and dies with her, and this is proof of humanity’s goodness? The dark clouds part and the rain stops and Aimi and Koizumi ascend in a heavenly ray of light, because he decided, while she was devouring him, that he was wrong to ignore his murderous best friend’s love for him?

I guess it’s fine -- it was probably mostly Jukokubo’s fault anyway, and everyone was just an unfortunate victim of his meddling… 😒

Other than the bad writing, the string of deaths that happen in the finale when the monster lets loose in the school are quite uncomfortable to behold. Deformed student bodies are splayed and strewn around classrooms, and the bullies are rendered into unrecognizable mounds of pulsating flesh in their homes. The violence of a fight against a monster like this, I can handle, but the graphic images of helpless death were difficult to stomach. And in this OVA, there is no miraculous reversal of the demon’s damage once it is purified -- there is no implication whatsoever that everyone who died isn’t still just as dead as Aimi and Koizumi in the end.

The main thing I was actually worried about when I watched Dark Cat was that there would be sexual assault, thanks to reviewers griping it for “generic hentai tentacles”. I am relieved to say that there is none, at least not insofar as deserving a comparison to actual porn. There is sexual content scattered throughout the horror scenes: The occasionally phallic appearance of the tentacles, shots of the tentacles coming down from under skirts, and there is one shot of nudity when Aimi’s shirt is ripped open as she transforms, though I would say it’s too horrific and ugly to be sexualized or otherwise considered “fanservice”.

What is the point of the hits of sex imagery in Dark Cat? I have no idea. This isn’t Alien, it isn’t about the horror of sexual assault or the violence of creation -- though the main horror of the scene where Rui is ambushed by the teacher seems to be that she uses magic to seduce him, only to reveal a very phallic tentacle from her mouth that she means to kill (or infect…?) him with, which can have multiple, potentially offensive readings… it is a one off, however -- and there doesn’t seem to be any moral posturing about it as is often seen in slashers. I couldn’t parse any sort of consistent STI allegory regarding the plague of tentacles upon the student body, despite how many summaries I have read that describe the tentacles as that, a “plague”.

… I realize I am probably the only person on earth to give any aspect of Dark Cat’s production this much thought. To sum up: It seems to just exist for the shock value. Considering the extent of disgusting imagery already present a la The Gore and Deformation of Human Bodies, I don’t think this OVA benefitted from featuring some explicit looking tendrils, beyond cementing its abhorrent reputation.

Is this all to say that I think Dark Cat is a good OVA? No, of course not. It’s tone deaf, and tasteless, and has awkward pacing and bad writing. But compared to the utterly soulless and artistically devoid works the likes of Skelter Heaven and Mars of Destruction, I would say the fact I was able to write this much about Dark Cat is testament to that fact that it at the very least, contains content -- and some of that content was like, decent! Skelter+Heaven was such a mess it was all I could do to understand the sequence of events, and Mars of Destruction was so bland I literally have no posts about it on the blog despite watching it more than once. Psychic Wars was a snoozefest I barely finished that similarly has no mention on the blog, and Hanoka’s production gimmick couldn’t save it from being a totally forgettable romance story.

Therefore, Dark Cat is the best worst title I have seen thus far, by virtue of being executed with an average amount of competency for an OVA from the early 90s, and for having a balance of good and bad elements that gave me something to hold onto and mull over after viewing.

3/10.

Oh, and I loved the bad 80s insert songs.

#:Dark Cat #dark cat #2138 words later the verdict is. It was ok

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jonismitchell · 4 years

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hey arden do you have any book suggestions? i don’t have any preference/specific genre i’m looking for but i just need something new to read while in quarantine :)

you’re in luck! i happen to be a massive nerd and i’m going to compile a gigantic list of recs for you. here we go.

the only classics worth reading: i want to preface this by saying i did not pick these books because they are written by women. they are just good and they happen to be by women. this reinforces my theory that only women can write.

emma by jane austen: better than pride and prejudice by a long shot. the characters are funny, the romance is swoon worthy (don’t think too hard about the age gap), it says very smart things about society, and i could write an essay on how it revolutionized fiction.

wuthering heights by emily bronte: my all time favourite book about how awful people are and how the cycle of abuse perpetuates itself. it’s absolutely exceptional in every respect. i won’t go into too much detail because i don’t want to give anything away, but you should definitely read this book.

jane eyre by charlotte bronte: i’m not saying i’m a bronte sister stan, i’m just saying i’m a bronte sister stan who can’t be bothered to take five seconds to copy the accent. anyway, i read this book when i was a wee lass and i stole it from an apartment in nice. the characters are genuinely amazing, and it’s an early feminist book, which i think is fantastic.

the handmaid’s tale by margaret atwood: you don’t get more feminist classic than this. set in a dystopian future where women are only valued for their ability to procreate, atwood examines gender roles and still delivers a brilliant adventure story. if you end up liking this, try the power by naomi alderman, which essentially tells of the opposite society.

the bell jar by sylvia plath: an introspective story about mental illness. it’s the type of writing that i feel hits hard at about any age, and i remember feeling really haunted after finishing the whole thing in a night. definitely high up on my list of amazing novels.

feel good books: sometimes, we need to read something that’s not revolutionary but still radical. don’t worry, i got you. here’s the lasagna of novels.

finding audrey by sophie kinsella: this book is funny, heartwarming, and makes you think. as someone with anxiety, i felt really represented by a lot of audrey’s behaviours. her mom is lowkey nuts, but i feel like that shouldn’t impede your enjoyment of the book.

the shadowhunters series by cassandra clare: LISTEN. objectively cassandra clare is a terrible person. objectively these books are not good. but they are amusing! they are comforting! they are interesting! also, there are a million of them. start with the infernal devices: clockwork angel, clockwork prince, and clockwork princess. set in old old london, this series features the only valid love triangle ever, girls who like to read and kick ass, and boys who are soft and play the violin. next, head to the mortal instruments, which is pretty much drinny fanfiction. don’t think too hard during these and you’ll have a good time. after that, read the short story collections the bane chronicles and tales of shadowhunter academy. if you got really into the lore (like me) these books are funny and a little captivating. finally, get to the highlight of this whole thing, the dark artifices. the one true love of my life, emma carstairs, stars in this brilliant trilogy about forbidden love. yes, it’s super corny, but all these books are super corny. if you can’t get enough of the universe (or accidentally got hooked) try out the collection ghosts of the shadow market. once you finish that, you can read the first books in the new series(es), red scrolls of magic and chain of gold. all of these books are jam packed with magic and vaguely plagarized demons. not brilliant, but a fun ride.

emma mills books: emma mills writes cute happy contemporary romances and i can’t recommend her enough! first & then tells the story of a jane austen obsessed nerd who crushes on a jock. which could actually be about me, and if you trust my judgement, you probably like me enough to read this book secretly written about me. foolish hearts gives theatre kids and boy band stans alike a chance to feel represented in what could be one of the sweetest (and funniest!) romances of all time. famous in a small town gives band kids and people who are clarinet-sized a chance to shine, and includes a country singer who struck me with her similarities to taylor swift. (our song is even referenced in the novel!) by far my favourite would have to be this adventure ends, which is hilarious and heartbreaking and talks about fanfiction without looking down on it. all of these books are definitely feel good and will make you believe in heterosexual romance.

mildly upsetting fantasy: just fantasy trilogies that will hurt you.

the poppy war by r.f. kuang: wonder what harry potter would be like if the magic system was complicated and the murder was high? no, like high on opium? and the plot was based on chinese military history? look no further than the brilliant work of art that is the poppy war. this book is by far the best fantasy out there, i cannot exaggerate that enough. also out is the equally compelling sequel the dragon republic, and the final book in the trilogy is set to hit shelves this year. please please please read this amazing book.

six of crows by leigh bardugo: six dysfunctional criminals try to steal from the most heavily guarded prison in the world. what could go wrong? this novel is intelligent and witty, and will keep you on the edge of your seat as you’re dragged into this scheming and brilliant world. in my opinion, this is the only valid book in the grishaverse. this and its equally well plotted sequel, crooked kingdom.

the gilded wolves by roshani choski: this one is definitely similar to six of crows in its funny and smart main cast. the magic system is super unique and the plot is endlessly enjoyable. it’s also set in old old paris! so france is always fun. there are also tons of mythology references and disaster bisexuals. and apparently the sequel (the silvered serpents) comes out july of this year.

scythe by neal shusterman: the first book on this list by a man, wow! i’m so inclusive. anyway, this genius trilogy is set in a world where humanity has solved almost every single problem, except overpopulation and corruption. an elite order called scythes are tasked with killing and managing the order of death. it’s like the hunger games went took a political science seminar. everything spirals out of control very quickly and the characters are so great. the sequels are called thunderhead and the toll respectively, and the overarching tale is gripping.

the cruel prince by holly black: i’m not kidding when i say this is the only faery book that matters. this book stars a human girl who grows up in the magical world and more violence than is statistically necessary. but it’s good! this is also a trilogy (every book on this list is the first one in a trilogy, i am the worst, i’m sorry) and the sequel the wicked king is quite possibly the best scheme-y magic politics thing i’ve ever read. and the final book, queen of nothing, doesn’t disappoint by a long shot.

contemporaries no one talks about

the boy who steals houses by cg drews: this book has autistic representation! and it’s written by book blogger paperfury, who is even more of a delight on the page than she is on the internet. be warned, this book includes heavy mentions of abuse and graphic violence that are unavoidable. but it will break your heart and stitch it back together again. also, waffles.

some boys by patty blount: this book deals very candidly with the aftermath of rape and public pressure. it is also one of my favourite books of all time for its treatment of ‘bro culture.’ and the heroine, grace, is incredibly strong. i read this book in maybe fourth grade? and it essentially inspired me to start giving a damn about social justice. so yeah, there’s that. (i also haven’t read it since fourth grade, so someone will have to tell me if it holds up).

emergency contact by mary choi: i’m rereading this for the second time right now and it’s still really awesome. it tells the story of an unlikely friendship, big dreams, and does it all through a really interesting narrative voice that manages to effectively capture two very different people. it is yet another romance, but it’s really wonderful and heartwarming. (unlike the other two books in this section).

children’s books that treat kids like people

a series of unfortunate events by lemony snicket: this is quite literally my favourite series of all time. it’s upsetting and kind of wrong once you think about it a lot, but it’s also maybe the best thing ever written. i literally cannot explain how much i love these books. there are thirteen books, so you’re definitely in for a good, long time.

the mysterious benedict society by trenton lee stewart: three books about propaganda and smart kids and found family. i literally do not know what else you want out of a series. it’s fun and there’s only a little bit of kidnapping, so it’s very family appropriate compared to the other books on this list.

wuh luh wuh

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid: i KNOW no one shuts up about this book but you really should read it. like, there’s nothing that will ever top the narrative. the drama, the glamour, the girls who love girls, you know? all the components of a brilliant novel. it’s also got some truly poetic prose and genuinely beautiful moments. the reason everyone talks about this book is because it’s amazing. send tweet.

girls of paper and fire by natasha ngan: (massive trigger warning for sexual violence) haha! another violent fantasy book that’s part of a trilogy! thought you escaped that, didn’t you? this magic system is brilliant and the book is so good. it’s a breath of fresh air into young adult fiction. and did i mention it’s a wlw romance? i read this during a math class and had to go to the bathroom to cry when i finished it, because there was finally a heroine in a fantasy novel who i could see myself in. there’s also a sequel, girls of storm and shadow, that is equally amazing.

it’s not like it’s a secret by misa suigura: wlw girls with soft poetry vibes. complicated family lives. candidly dealing with racism, sexism, and homophobia. this book is really good. simply read this book.

i have even MORE book recs but i decided to cut myself off because this is the longest thing i’ve ever written for tumblr. hope you enjoy!

#angxlsrolltheireyes #book recs #asking with you

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anomander-dragnipurake · 4 years

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Possessed Part 2 Chapter Six: King Boo’s Turn

In town, King Boo’s ‘stuff that he needed to take care of’ turned out to unsurprisingly be buying more of his fancy suits. He was into looking stylish so as long as he was stuck in a meatsuit he was going to dress as such. He even considered getting a fancy dress as a change of pace but chose not to because he hoped not to be stuck like this for much longer.

Luigi would be lying if he said King Boo didn’t have good taste. He would’ve chosen different colours personally but the white and purple matched well with the white hair and purple eyes that came with King Boo’s possession of his body. Now that he was more used to that appearance, he’d almost be willing to say that it wouldn’t have a bad look at all if he’d chosen it for himself, not that he probably ever would’ve especially for an everyday look.

‘So you admit it? I’m cooler than you in every way?’ King Boo said with a smirk as they looked at themselves in the dressing room mirror.

I guess. It wasn’t really hard to be cooler than Luigi, he’d always been pretty lame. In large part because being cool had never mattered to him. It still didn’t so honestly, King Boo’s taunt wasn’t that hurtful, especially after all the various other ways he’d hurt Luigi.

King Boo frowned as he turned away to leave. ‘Whatever, then.’ He didn’t really care all that much anyway.

The sun was starting to set as they came about to the rear of Peach’s Castle. King Boo had gone rather far out of his way to sneak around behind it after the taxi had dropped them off near it. Now he frowned at the rear wall, cutting off the back garden from the rest of the land. Not being able to phase through things never ceased to be annoying.

Instead, after adjusting his shopping bags on his shoulder, he pulled on his magic and levitated them. It wasn’t the first time he’d done this but Luigi still hated it, flying was not something he’d ever wished to be able to do. But in honor of their agreement, he refrained from directing an actual complaint towards King Boo as he lifted them up and over the wall. By some miracle, he even had the courtesy to lower them gently to the ground once on the other side instead of letting Luigi’s body drop and probably sprain or break something as he’d done every other time he’d levitated them any significant height in the past.

Thanks to the wall surrounding it, the courtyard garden area was already shrouded in darkness. With the gentle sound of the fountain in the middle it was still a pleasant place though. Or at least it was until a boo came shooting out of the nearby bushes.

Even expecting it due to King Boo having thought about meeting with boos at the castle multiple times since his turn had begun, it still surprised Luigi. King Boo didn’t let him flinch though, honestly at this point, the fact that he would’ve was just shameful. … Luigi was inclined to agree for once, he couldn’t help it though.

“Boss!” the boo said as he to a halt in front of King Boo and Luigi. “You’re here!”

“Yep.” King Boo smiled at him, one of those genuine smiles that still creeped Luigi out far more than the evil ones ever did. ‘I like my boos, why is that so weird?’

Because you’re you! Luigi never would’ve thought someone so vile and hateful could care for anyone other than himself. He never would’ve believed it to be the case if he didn’t feel it for himself. After the initial jump scare, he even wasn’t nearly as frightened by the boo as he should be because of how King Boo felt about him.

Other than an internal scoff, King Boo didn’t bother with a reply, turning his attention back onto the boo, patiently waiting to be addressed in front of him. “Gather the rest of the castle boos out here, I’d like to talk to all of you.”

“On it!” the boo said before rushing off again.

‘The rest of the castle boos’? Did that mean that there were boos that hung out around the castle all the time? That… couldn’t be right, could it? There was nothing for them here; Luigi had worked with E. Gadd long enough to know ghosts and boos didn’t like places full of life which Peach’s castle definitely was. So why would they be here? And… how long had they been here?

‘A while.’ King Boo was particularly proud of the castle boos, they dealt with being near the living and refrained from making mischief enough that they were never found out. ‘And you’re not going to tell anyone about them.’ He’d rather not out their existence to Luigi at all but he needed to tell his boos what was up with the current situation in case things went bad. These were the closest boos and one of them could be sent as a messenger back to the mansion and from there soon all his followers would know of his predicament. As their king, it would affect them if his soul were to be merged with Luigi’s and thus they had a right to know which overrode Luigi’s need not to know of the castle boos. ‘My agreement to play nice ends if you even try to hint at their existence, got it?’

I won’t tell. Luigi promised because King Boo wasn’t making an empty threat. They clearly weren’t causing trouble anyway so it was probably fine to let them be for now.

The boo returned a few minutes later with four more. They settled in a half circle around King Boo and Luigi.

King Boo took a deep breath and put his hands behind his back before addressing them in a formal tone. “As you may have heard by now, I’m currently stuck in this meatsuit. The reason for that is: my soul is in the process of merging with his. Meaning if it can’t be fixed, we’ll essentially become a single being instead of two. I’m working on getting it fixed though so it should be fine but in case it’s not, you guys need to know. When this meeting is done, one of you will head back to the mansion to inform everyone, just in case. Now, report to me about the goings on around the castle, it’s been a while.”

The five boos exchanged nervous looks before seemingly accepting that it would indeed be fine as the one on the far left started speaking. He spoke of rumors he’d overheard and events he’d witnessed. When he was done speaking the boo next him started without prompt, sharing similar things. It wasn’t until the third boo was reporting that Luigi finally pieced together that they were spies.

Honestly it made perfect sense. They could become invisible and phase through walls and objects, making it easy for them to stay undetected while being able to see and hear everything that went on in any given room.

A shiver ran down Luigi’s metaphorical spine as the full scope of that realization sunk in. Whenever he’d gone to the castle, typically with Mario but sometimes by himself too, he could’ve been being watched by boos the entire time and probably was while never suspecting a thing. Heck, anytime he’d been anywhere that didn’t have ghost detecting equipment available – which was the vast majority of places – there could’ve been boos around watching his every move even in his own house.

‘Yep,’ King Boo said with a chuckle, quickly pulling his attention off his boo to reply. ‘There were two in your house up until you got Polterpup, he made it much harder of them to spy on you effectively.’

Welp, that was awful. Polterpup was without a doubt the bestest boy though. Luigi would’ve preferred to have gone his whole life without ever learning that there were boos who’d been assigned to spy on him. Assuming he got out of this mess, he was going to be paranoid about this for forever. He’d have to take Polterpup with him everywhere to ensure that there were no boos or ghost in the area … As far as King Boo was concerned, that was awesome.

Fuck you too! That only made King Boo laugh though before he pushed Luigi’s thoughts aside to go back to paying full attention to his boos. … Despite how weird and creepy it was, his love for them might’ve made Luigi hate him a little less if it wasn’t for the whole possession thing and the things it had led to.

During the final boo’s report on the rumors going around the castle that involved Bowser, the backdoor leading into the castle opened. All five boos went silent instantly as they turned to look. It was… Peach.

She froze halfway through closing the door behind her. Her eyes locked onto King Boo and Luigi, seemingly looking straight through the boos between them. It was like she didn’t even see them. … Of course she didn’t, they were invisible, Luigi could only see them because his soul was tied to King Boo’s. … That actually made sense; that’s how Polterpup always knew when there were boos and other ghosts around, he could see them even when they didn’t want to be seen.

“Uh… hey Peach,” Luigi said with a forced awkward smile that didn’t match the confident but relaxed pose King Boo held his body in. “What are you uh… doing out here so late?” He struggled not to look at the boos as they moved off to side.

At his voice, Peach jerked back into motion. After closing the door, she strode closer until she stood right in front of him. “Luigi?” She squinted at him suspiciously, crossing her arms.

“Yep, it’s me and…” King Boo naturally stepped with barely even a pause, “me too.”

The look on her face made it clear she knew what was up. “Give him back this instant or else.”

“Or else what? You’ll hit me, go ahead.” King Boo grinned as he spread out his arms and hands, opening himself up to a slap or a punch.

Peach almost looked like she was tempted to but thankfully didn’t. “Well… give him back anyway. It’s been far too long, you’ve had you fun, now let him go. That has to be what you came here for anyway, right?”

“That’s uh… not quite why we’re here,” Luigi said as he put his hands back into his pockets and looked down at the ground between his shoes to keep from glancing at the boos still silently watching. He’d didn’t want to give them away by accident when King Boo’s agreement to get along was at stake.

King Boo immediately looked back up. “For what it’s worth, I would love to ‘give him back’ as you put it. But I fucking can’t. I’m stuck in here and our souls merging, it’s awful.”

The anger on her face softened, shifting a little to confusion. “You’re… you’re just making excuses, right? You can’t actually be stuck.”

“No, he’s uh… very much stuck,” Luigi said. “E. Gadd’s trying to fix it though.” Key word being ‘trying’ because it wasn’t guaranteed.

“Well we have to tell Mario then; he’s been worried sick about…”

“He already knows,” King Boo interrupted.

“Really huh? It seems he forgot to call and tell me.” Peach frowned, looking none too pleased about having been left out of the loop. Which was a fair point, Luigi hadn’t even considered telling her until just now. “Though, I suppose it’s probably because he’s got a lot on his mind. Whatever, I’ll talk to him about it later. For now, you said your… souls are merging? What does that mean?”

Annoyed with her presence and not wanting to explain it again, King Boo left it up to Luigi this time. “Well uh… it means our souls are… becoming one soul so we’ll be not separate people anymore but like combined one or something.” It was still such an odd concept to think about. What would that be like? They’d basically be a whole new person, right? With how much their personalities and feelings about things were opposites what kind of person would they end up being? “It’s uh… really scary.”

Peach grimaced for a second, biting her lip a little before putting a smile. “That sounds terrible but you said E. Gadd’s working on so it should be fine. You’ll be free of King Boo in no time, I’m sure of it.”

King Boo frowned at her, curling his lip up in disgust. “You’re like that too, huh?”

“Like what?”

“All… mushy and gross, trying to comfort Luigi. Mario does it all the time, it’s annoying. It doesn’t even work all that well so just stop already.”

Peached gasped as if deeply offended. She glared daggers at King Boo, taking a deep breath before responding. “Fuck you too King Boo, I’ll comfort Luigi if I want to.”

Wait? Did she just swear or had Luigi misheard her? He’d never heard her swear before. To be fair, King Boo deserved it but… still, what the heck?

“Now Luigi, sweetie,” Peach continued in a sweeter tone, “E. Gadd is going to get rid of that big bad meanie King Boo and then everything’s going to fine again. I’ll even bake you a cake to celebrate it, whatever kind you want. You’ll just have to hold on until then. You’re strong and brave so I know you can.” She was clearly laying it on a bit strong to annoy King Boo but honestly that made it better.

“Thanks,” Luigi said. Before he could try to say more or before Peach could respond, King Boo made a loud gagging noise to fully emphasize his disgust. This was supposed to be his time to spend doing whatever he wanted to do, not more ‘comfort pathetic scared Luigi’ time.

“Don’t listen to him Luigi, he’s…” Peach began before King Boo cut her off.

“We’re leaving, goodbye.” He snapped around to stride back closer to the wall.

“You most certainly are not,” Peach said as he activated his magic to levitate them again. “Get back here this instant.”

“Uh… I’ll be fine,” Luigi said because he didn’t want her chasing after them. “Call Mario, he’ll explain stuff.” And that was all he had time for before King Boo was lowering them onto the other side of the wall, faster than was necessary, making Luigi a tad queasy, but thankfully not a full drop.

Having been able to just phase through the wall, the boos were already waiting for them. King Boo landed in their midst.

“You,” he said pointing to the smallest one, “You’re the fastest, so you’re delivering the message to the mansion. The rest of you, I got until about sunrise before I have to leave, let’s make the most of it.”

The appointed messenger left without a word, zooming presumably in the direction of King Boo mansion. The other four fell in ‘step’ with King Boo as he strode away from the castle walls into the small forest behind it.

Not long ago, Luigi would’ve been worried they were going to cause trouble. But now, even when King Boo wasn’t actively thinking about it, he was at least partially aware of his intentions and they weren’t nefarious for once. He was going to play chess with them, using the chess set he’d brought at the mall alongside the clothes earlier. It wasn’t a game Luigi liked but it was far better than the other ways King Boo could’ve chosen to spend his turn so he’d take what he could get.

#My writing #super mario bros #Luigi's Mansion #booigi #Luigi #King Boo #Peach shows up

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marveloussupernerd · 3 years

Text

Crowns and Courtships - A Mystic Messenger AU

This AU is basically about MC being a princess who is courting during the Regency era! The readers can choose who MC ends up with :)

Chapter 6 - The Garden Party

Chapter 5

Words: 2500

Summary: it’s finally time to travel to the city to go to the first party of the social season, hosted by your close friend Duke Yoosung Kim. Will the party be a success? Will the group plotting against you make their next move?

You woke to a knock on your door. Blinking the sleep out of your eyes, you told the person they could come in. No surprise, it was Jaehee. “Good morning Princess, Sir Zen. I’ve gotten you some tea; we will be departing for the city soon. Would you like to get dressed before breakfast?

“That would be lovely,” you told Jaehee. Sir Zen excused himself and went to leave, but you stopped him. “Wait! Please tell me you will change my father’s mind and convince him that you should join us in the city.” You could tell he was going to object, but you stopped him once more. “Please. I feel safer with you around.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” He smiled, then left. You could hear him making his way down the stairs, hopefully to find your father.

Jaehee got your clothes out, helping you step into each layer of the heavy travel clothes, then brought in some tea. “What happened last night, if you don’t mind me asking? I was surprised to see your knight in your chambers.”

You could feel your face heat up. “Oh! It’s nothing like that! Someone left a threatening note on my door, stabbed into the wood with the dagger. I couldn’t sleep… but with him watching over me it helped.”

“Oh! That’s awful. Are you okay?” She gently placed her hand on your arm.

“I’m honestly scared. That’s why I want him to join us in the city. It seems that if the organization doesn’t like my decision, they’ll attack me there. I already feel sick about the whole thing… having him by my side would help.”

“He is handsome… isn’t he?” Jaehee had a small smile on her face.

You giggled. “He is! He’s opening up more too.”

“Well, I hope we can catch these people, and soon. You should be excited about your first garden party, not dreading it!”

You set your cup down on the saucer, then stood. “We’ll have to hope for the best. I’ll meet you downstairs at the carriage soon! I have to join my parents for breakfast.”

When you sat down for breakfast, your parents stared at you like they had seen a ghost. “What’s wrong?” You asked, nervous that something else bad must have happened.

“We’re surprised to see you coping so well… Sir Zen brought us the note that was on your door,” your mother explained, concern evident in her eyes.

You sighed, your face falling: “Well… we knew there would be people who didn’t like my decision. It’s the consequences I have to face to achieve my happiness.”

“Well Sir Zen is joining us now, without question. He’s packing his things as we speak,” your father explained. It made you feel much better knowing that he’d be by your side, looking after you and protecting you from the people in the city.

“That’s good to know. On another note, I’m excited for the party today as well as our travels!”

“I’m glad to hear it. It must be exciting to be out and about during the social season. You’ll have to tell me all about it!” Your mother expressed happily. It was clear that she was disappointed she had to take part in an arranged marriage, but she was lucky her marriage turned out so well; it was clear that she loved your father dearly, which was surprising considering the fact you were born before your father had married. It was a lot to overlook, but the Queen’s love was able to overcome it all.

One you finished breakfast, it was time to prepare for the trip. You, your parents, and Jaehee took the main carriage. The others rode on horseback alongside the carriage. You smiled when you saw the horse you trained the other day leading the carriage. You walked over to him while the bags were being loaded.

“Why hello there!” You greeted the horse, patting its head. Mr. Choi sat at the front of the carriage, right above the horse and its partner. He raised an eyebrow at you. “Valiant. That’s his name,” you decided.

“A fitting name for a horse so daring and brave,” he grinned, petting the horse. “Let me know if you need anything throughout the trip.”

“I’m shocked you’re being so nice. Nervous? This is your first long carriage trip after all.”

“I just got used to leading one horse; now I have already graduated to two,” he said boastingly, but his face showed that he was quite overwhelmed by the prospect.

“Maybe you should let me know if you need anything throughout the trip,” you teased, turning his words against him. “Safe travels, Mr. Choi. My life literally depends on it.”

“You’re telling me… mine too.”

You loaded into the carriage with your family. You sat next to your mother, and your father sat across from you, next to Jaehee, who got the honor of sitting in the main carriage as your new lady.

You spent your time reading another book on flowers. You read for most of the trip, finishing the book in its entirety. You were lucky your home in the city had a large collection of books that you could read. You luckily made it without needing to take any stops, which was pretty impressive. Before you went inside, Sir Zen swept the house to make sure there was no intruder inside. Luckily there wasn’t. You took Jaehee up to your room to get ready for the garden party that was quickly approaching.

Jaehee quickly helped you get out of your traveling clothes and into your pink ensemble. The blush tone suited your skin tone perfectly; Jaehee had even packed a blush hat to match, since the party was outside.

She spent her time pinning each piece of hair into place, working on a low bun so that the hat would still sit nice. “I know we did not have much time to get ready, but I think you look wonderful,” Jaehee complimented, a small blush on her face. She practically pushed you out of the room before you could respond. “Off we go! We cannot be late.”

You made your way to the carriage with Jaehee next to you. You were lucky she was joining you since your parents weren’t going to attend; they were going to spend their time settling in. Still, it was nice to have some company.

Mr. Choi gave you his hand to help you onto the carriage, which you gladly took. Despite your recent fights, you still needed his help and wanted to keep things cordial. “That is… a lot of pink. You look like a flamingo,” he commented, taken aback by your dress. So much for cordial. It was obvious he was making fun of you to make himself feel better; you could tell by the stupid look on his face that he was just teasing you. You wouldn’t give in that easily though.

“Well, I figured you didn’t have taste, but this just confirms it,” you shrugged as he helped Jaehee into the carriage. “Let’s get going please; I’d hate to be late,” you urged him, and he listened.

“Who is holding this party again?” Jaehee asked as the carriage began moving.

“Duke Kim. I’m sure it was a lot of work for him to arrange the party on his own for the first time… especially since it’s the first one of the season. This is important though, because it’ll set the tone for the rest of this season’s events,” you explained.

You were trying to stay stoic but you were worried about Yoosung. He’d be crushed if the party wasn’t perfect, as if he had let his parents down. You’d take it upon yourself to make sure the party was a success.

But once you got there you weren’t too worried. There were a large number of round tables, draped in lavender linen. Vases of pink roses sat on each table, clearly expensive in order to impress the guests. A few nobles were already there, talking amongst themselves, Duke Kim greeting them.

You couldn’t wipe the smile off your face as he greeted you. “Nice to see you again, Duke Kim. This party is wonderful. I’m sure your parents would be proud,” you complimented. You meant every word; he was always an overachiever, but you were worried the death of his parents would kill his spirit. That wasn’t the case though! He was working even harder now.

“Your Royal Highness, it’s nice to see a friendly face around here,” he leaned close to her, lowering his voice: “I feel like everyone here is waiting to see me fail.”

“Don’t talk like that! Even if they were here for that, it’s not like they could say anything. You’re a Duke now. You outrank most of the people here,” you reminded him. The only ones higher than the Duke in the social status were the royalty. Yoosung should be proud of his title. “Plus! I’ll bet you’ll have at least half a dozen ladies swooning over you at the end of the event. You’ll never have to plan a party on your own ever again,” you grinned, reassuring him. A more genuine smile made its way onto his face.

“Honestly? I had a lot of fun planning this party. It helped take my mind off of things,” he admitted. Another guest entered, standing behind you, waiting their turn to talk to Yoosung. “Let’s talk later. There are place cards on each table to show you where you sit. I hope you enjoy yourself!”

It was obvious Yoosung had thought a lot about the seating arrangements. People sat by those in comparable class to them. Your table had Prince Jumin, Yoosung himself, Lord James, Lady Elizabeth, and Lady Sarah. The seats alternated boy-girl to help with the courting. It was very well thought-out.

Your only bit of criticism had to be Lord James. You had never gotten along with him well; he was extremely opinionated. Still, it was important to give him a chance. He approached the table first, addressing you before standing in front of a seat across from you.

“Hello Your Royal Highness,” he bowed to you.

“Lord James,” you curtsied, “how are your parents?”

“They’re doing quite alright. How has your kingdom and family been these past few months?”

“Pretty good. A little upset over my decision to court instead of going through with an arranged marriage, but nothing out of control,” you explained, downplaying the situation.

“Well I think that it is certainly a scandalous move. But, us noblemen are glad to see it occur. You look absolutely radiant,” he complimented. He eyed the pitcher of lemonade on the table awkwardly. You weren’t entirely sure what he was waiting for.

You ignored him, grabbing the pitcher and filling up your glass. His eyes were glued to it, still confused. “Is something the matter?” You asked, confused.

“I’m simply waiting for somebody to pour it for me. Would you like to do the honors?”

“I’d rather not. Thank you for the offer though,” you mentioned, allowing your voice to show a bit of annoyance. Luckily, Lady Elizabeth made it to the table to save you from the ridiculous conversation. You stood and swept her into a hug, not caring about appearances.

“My dear friend, it’s so good to see you,” you greeted.

“I’m not used to that sort of greeting, but I certainly will not complain,” she looked around. “The Duke has certainly outdone himself, huh? I didn’t realize he had this attention-to-detail in him.”

“Don’t be silly; he’s been straightening the silverware on the dinner tables at parties ever since we met him; this doesn’t surprise me at all,” you laughed. That was Yoosung alright. He had always been a perfectionist. Elizabeth joined you in a fit of giggles. You both sat down one seat apart from each other, Elizabeth getting the unfortunate pleasure of getting to sit next to Lord James.

“Who else is at our table?” Elizabeth asked you curiously, leaning closer to you to speak over the chatter.

“Yoosung, Sarah, and Prince Jumin,” you explained, looking over the table cards just to ensure you were correct.

“Prince Jumin? Oh, how exciting. I didn’t expect him to be showing up to all these events... is he courting too?” she asked curiously, twirling a curl of her hair.

“Well he’s certainly courting me. But besides that, not that I’m aware of. He stopped by the other day for tea.” Truth be told, though, Elizabeth was so beautiful and graceful that it was very likely Jumin would fall for her. Most people did.

“I don’t believe it,” she put her hand atop yours, “oh you must simply tell me all!” Prince Jumin walked over to the table, a smile on his face. “All… regarding how your mother is doing. Did she get over her flu?” Elizabeth asked, trying to cover up the gossip you were getting into. You had to restrain your laughter; no man wanted to see a woman gossiping, especially not the Prince, you imagined. Now the two of you couldn’t have cared less about Lord James, though, as he hardly counted as a man, but this was a prince after all.

“Prince Jumin, so lovely to see you,” you greeted, standing up to curtsy to him.

“I hope your travel was well?” Elizabeth chimed in, curtsying far lower than you had. Show off.

“My dear friend, Lady Elizabeth,” you introduced, “I don’t think the two of you have met formally yet.”

“It’s a pleasure,” Prince Jumin remarked, bowing to the both of you. “It seems I am seated between the two of you. Princess, I hadn’t realized your mother was ill. She seemed fine the other day when I saw her.”

You could feel your cheeks heat up. You didn’t like being questioned like this, especially when the cover-up was Elizabeth’s doing yet you had to dig the two of you out of it. “Ah, yes, well I actually haven’t seen Elizabeth in a while, so she was unaware that my mother had recovered almost a week ago.”

“But I thought we wrote one another just a few days ago? You even mentioned that one man who-”

“Well it seems I must have forgotten to mention it. It has been quite hectic at home lately,” you countered, eyeing Elizabeth, trying to hint that she should stop pressing the matter and be glad you saved her from the reputation of being a gossip.

“Well, Ladies, it looks like I’m at your table,” Lady Sarah announced, making her way in front of you both. “Prince Jumin!” she curtsied quickly, “Whatever might you be doing here?”

“Searching for good company, luckily it seems I might have found some,” he looked at you, smiling.

“I never expected you to be the type of person who would show up to the average boring garden party,” Sarah confessed. Behind her approached Duke Kim. His face fell at the mention of his party being ‘average’ and ‘boring'.

You knew it was your job to make Yoosung feel better. He had worked so hard on this party. He turned away, likely to excuse himself and take a moment. It hurt to see him so disappointed; he likely felt like a failure. You’d have to try and make this right.

#mystic messenger #mysme #Yoosung kim #zen #Jumin han #Jaehee kang #707 #au #crownsandcourtships

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ineedrelationshipadvice · 3 years

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I've recently just discovered I'm demisexual and not long out of a long term relationship. I am genuinely dreading going back out there in the dating world again. I hate the idea of having to go through all sorts of people till I find someone I'm comfortable with again, after my break up my self esteem is pretty low too. I'm worried that now with my recent discovery this will make things harder for me to find a partner. I know 100% I want to be in love and find someone but at the same time I'm done with talking to numerous of different people who are more sexually driven than me, I'm worried I wont find someone who will understand what I need from them.

Do you know of anybody going through the same thing and they turned out ok or would it be best to come out straight away to a potential partner and is there a chance they will be understanding? I just can't seem to get out my own head that I'll end up alone with the I am.

Hey, hello! I don't identify as demisexual because the term isn't really for me, but it's probably the closest descriptor to how I have always approached romance personally. So hopefully my direct experiences are relatable enough.

I too hate dating in general. It's awful. It's this constant game that's played through mostly vapid people who are generally insecure with themselves and not confident enough to just be themselves. They have to turn it into this whole event, and especially these days in the time of ghosting and increasing porousness of relationship, this has only become more exacerbated. Everyone's out there wanting to hook up and expand their horizons when I'm just over here wanting to meet someone I can actually connect with before I take that next step. It really feels like nobody is really interested in stable, fulfilling relationships because they can't even be bothered.

But guess what: it turned out okay. I am currently in a 3-year long relationship with someone. It's rocky at times, especially because it's long-distance. But that's okay, because I got into this relationship prepared for the long-haul anyway, so it works out. Over time, I fell completely into trust with them, so even when the romance might feel like it's waning, I know that at the end of the day I have a trusted companion to carry any attachment through.

Now to your questions. Should you come out straight away? You don't have to, but I find it helpful. I typically treat relationships very openly: just spit it all out, throw it on the table, and let other people decide whether they're into that or not. I do this with pretty much everything to. For instance, I'm into anime. I know a lot of people - especially where I live - find that cringey or lame. I don't give a fuck, because I find people who think anime is cringey or lame are the ones who are cringey and lame. So I often outrightly speak on that thing I care about. What are you interested in Chris? "I'm really into anime." It acts as this convenient filter. People who definitely don't like that thing will be like "ew" and walk away; good, I don't need them wasting my time. People who don't mind will stick around. That's all that matters.

Sexualities, however, are a bit more intricate than that. And I think whether you should reveal it or not depends on where you live. One reason I don't care to identify with it is because it's just not useful where I live. I'm in Texas; the majority of people here, even the liberals and leftists, are VERY conservative. They don't understand what demisexual even means. So why even trouble them on that? Because I still need to approach them with that filter, because if they're not into that, they're a bad long-term bet. I explain it by asking questions during conversation - usually conversations where they've passed my barriers, and we've earned some degree of trust where these sorts of questions are acceptable to ask. "What your sex drive like? Mine is often pretty low, but I'm really only interested in doing stuff with the right person." Or something like, "I'm not really into hook-ups. I've tried it before, but it made me really sad. I'd rather do it with someone I trusted." You'll note I'm basically describing what demisexuality is to them without actually just saying it out loud; this way if they don't know what it is, they learned how I feel, not what the dictionary definition is; further, if they do know what it is, they know I fit that bill. It's also just being honest, and allows them to learn about me more.

If you're in a place where sexualities and other such stuff is spoken about openly though, I see no harm in just saying it out loud. If I was closer to the term, I'd probably tell people pretty early, "Hey, I'm bisexual and demisexual. I generally only like to be intimate with people who I really trust." No reason to beat around the bush, and it basically qualifies my stances on sexuality: I tend to seek out people on the binary, and I tend to only do it with people I really care about. It should obviously not be the first thing you say; but saying it early saves a lot of headache. If someone's only objective is to get in your pants, and they learn early you're not into that, then they'll leave of their own accord and you can move on without investing energy in someone who doesn't matter to you. Also, if you're online dating, PUT IT IN YOUR BIO. There' really just zero reason not to put it in your bio, because it makes self-selection of the other party who are swiping for you or checking your profile easier.

To your last point, will you end up alone? It might seem dower, but yes, you might. Why? Well, because people like you and I aren't interested in relationships in the same way as other people. We are a niche of many other niches; we have to try a little harder than others by default. That's okay, but it doesn't mean that we inherently limit our dating pool a little bit for our happiness. The smaller your dating pool, the higher your chances of not finding someone.

And that's okay. That's the beauty of demisexuality, frankly. Because as I've said multiple times: we're interested in people we care about, people we can trust. We need long term attachment before we want to be deeply intimate. And isn't that just NICE? We have a nonstop objective, and it has a very easy starting line: after we get to know someone. We don't have to worry about hook-ups and walks of shame, we don't have to worry about will-they-won't-they. All we have to worry about is making a cool friend to spend our time with. If it gets to the part where we want to do naughty stuff with that friend, that's just a bonus honestly.

Just be sure not to isolate yourself from the dating pool because of your preferences. Don't be afraid to enter relationships just because you don't think it will work out. If YOU are declining more than 50% of the offers you receive because you're not sure, then you become the problem. As much as your sexuality is dictated by trust and commitment, it does mean inevitably you have to try to commit. Because however things end up, you're the master of your own destiny.

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drewinator23 · 4 years

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FE3H MBTI [Dimitri — ISFJ]

lol so. it looks like a lot of people are subscribing to the idea that dimitri is an ENFJ, in contrast to edelgard, who is supposedly an ENTJ. i believe that misses the point of these characters — and their dynamic — almost entirely, especially in dimitri’s case. while i will say i think edelgard is an INTJ, at least that isn’t too far off from ENTJ. the cognitive difference between ISFJ and ENFJ though...oh boy, where do i start.

the whole dimitri/edelgard conflict isn’t so much a clash between Fe and Te as it is a clash between Si and Ni — with dimitri, of course, representing the former. Fe vs Te does come into play a little (ISFJ’s auxiliary Fe vs INTJ’s auxiliary Te), but i honestly think the main focus of their clash is the past vs future dynamic typical of Si/Ni conflict.

ISFP seems to be a popular choice for dimitri too, but tbh i think a lot of people are mistaking his Si for Fi. i just want to say, right now, that this man...does not have Fi. lol. not in his main functions anyway (yes i will be getting into shadow functions, and cognitive loops, and all that good stuff, so if that’s not your cup of tea then here’s your warning!) ...but yeah let’s get into it.

Dominant Si

“I must never forget that day. I must never allow their deaths to be forgotten.”

dimitri has a very strong connection to the past. and this doesn’t just apply to his past, but to the concept of the past in general. in stark contrast to edelgard, dimitri vehemently believes in “preserving what deserves to be preserved,” which is an important factor in why his methods are far less radical than hers. he believes it’s possible to improve the system currently in place without tearing it from the ground up the way edelgard does. he places a lot more focus on honoring the fallen, on reminiscing about days gone by, and on respecting tradition in general. and this isn’t to say he’s a dense fuck. dimitri is very much capable of criticizing tradition where it’s due, and we see him do this on multiple occasions. it’s just that he has a lot more appreciation for the positive aspects of tradition/“the past” which edelgard seems to ignore completely. where edelgard wishes her “worthless dreams of the past” would go away, dimitri legit admits to relying on his headaches/nightmares of the past as reminders because he is genuinely afraid to forget the faces of those he “let die,” along with those he killed. he believes forgetting their faces would be an insult to their memory. he talks about his history with edelgard far more than she talks about her history with him. he becomes furious when edelgard’s forces attack the holy tomb and “desecrate the dead.” i think you guys get where i’m going with this. while it’s true that a substantial amount of dimitri’s connection to the past is unhealthy, that’s largely due to the trauma he suffers, along with the cognitive imbalance stemming from his Si-Ti loop. obsessing over the past the way dimitri does is far more indicative of an unhealthy Si user than it is of shadow Si, which is more likely to just abandon the past altogether...or uh, “trample the past underfoot” (looking at you, hegemon edelgard).

“I owe you, just as I owe the spirits of those I let die.”

second point — duty. (i’m guessing this is the point a lot of people confuse for Fi. dimtiri’s pretty preachy, yeah, but not all talk about justice is inherently rooted in Fi. more on that later though.) this guy literally constructs his entire life around the idea of fulfilling his duty, be it his duty to his father, his duty to dedue’s people, his duty to his kingdom, etc. he constantly talks about his need to fulfill these duties, and pretty much all the effort he puts into anything is driven by this. even his earlier, more light-hearted supports tend to carry a running theme of him making promises (which he takes almost comedically seriously), encouraging his classmates to be responsible, creating debts to be repaid, and so on. the only reason he even goes to the academy in the first place is, by his own admission, to fulfill what he perceives as his duty as the Sole Survivor of the Tragedy of Duscur™. obsessive revenge is a fucked up conception of duty, sure, but it transforms into something healthier by the end of the story while remaining very distinctly Si. his duty to ghosts becomes his duty to the living — to the people in his kingdom who need him now. essentially, he develops a more constructive attitude toward duty that helps both him and the people he constantly feels he “owes.” my boi snaps out of his Si-Ti loop and becomes a bro again once dat aux Fe and inf Ne come back to balance shit out, y’know what i’m saying? anyway speaking of aux Fe,

Auxiliary Fe

“This victory is the result of everyone’s hard work. Thank you, my friends.”

academy phase dimitri (and i guess uh...post-post-timeskip dimitri) is just about the nicest guy ever. he can be stiff and awkward to the point of being comically serious at times, sure (thanks dominant Si), but he’s generally very polite and agreeable. he’s conscious of the atmosphere in his conversations and always makes an effort to keep things comfortable for everyone involved. tbh he could make do with less of the whole constantly-falling-over-himself-apologizing thing, and it would be kinda cool if “sorry” didn’t make up over 90% of his dialogue, but i digress. regret is dimitri’s middle name so it kinda makes sense for it to permeate even his most mundane interactions. ANYWAY my point is — dimitri’s always trying to make sure everyone gets along and he generally prioritizes harmony over being fully honest about his own feelings, which strikes me as a lot more Fe than Fi. a simple but hopefully effective example of this is his support with flayn where he eats her awful fucking food and tells her it’s delicious even though he can’t taste it. he later admits to her that he was only saying what he thought she’d want to hear, which is like...peak Fe my dudes. a good chunk of his support and even main story dialogue involves him trying to smooth things over, prevent conflict, let people know they did a good job, and so on. and this isn’t just with respect to the other blue lions, but to the other house leaders as well. a lot of the praise he dishes out commends hard work and effort (thanks dominant Si), but his focus is also largely on teamwork and cooperation.

“I saved someone—saved you. That and that alone has always been my crutch.”

now on to the darker side of...not-so-healthy Fe users. dimitri openly admits to dedue that saving him gave him a reason to live, that it makes him think it was worthwhile that someone “like [him]” survived. and this savior complex doesn’t just apply to his relationship with dedue, but to his behavior and decisions in general. it’s exacerbated by the sense of genuine responsibility and duty he attaches to everything (thanks dominant Si), and it sparks up in many different ways. he admits that he feels like it’s his responsibility to help the orphans at the monastery, since he lost his family like they did. he tells byleth he wants to become like rodrigue, whom he describes as “someone who can reach out and save a lost soul.” he apologizes to byleth for not being able to save jeralt (?? BRUH.) he begs byleth to tell him how he can “save” the ghosts of his loved ones, even though they’re...you know. dead. i think this prob comes from his endless regret that he couldn’t actually stop anyone from dying in the tragedy, so he’s just obsessed with saving everyone he can now. in any case, dimitri feels the pain of loss in war very, very acutely, which is why he freaks the fuck out in remire. he later admits the flames in remire reminded him of the flames in duscur, which flung him into the same rage he associates with what happened in duscur, even though he had no particular connection to the villagers in remire. he absorbs the suffering of people around him like a sponge and surprise surprise it breaks his mind. eventually his Fe gets overloaded af and shuts down (hello Si-Ti loop), but even unhinged dimitri shows an occasional connection to others’ feelings — endearingly so when he pats a random orphan’s head, and eerily so when he sympathizes with fleche’s bloodlust and allows her to join the party because of it.

Tertiary Ti

“He’s dead. There goes our chance to gain more information.”

dimitri’s introverted realm is one of Si and Ti. he wants to reconcile his understanding of what happened in the past with a logical, substantial explanation, and he works tirelessly to find this explanation. this becomes increasingly apparent when he actually spends time alone — when he isn’t in the company of others, dimitri is far more research-oriented than he is overtly sentimental. he is interested in learning the facts of his circumstances, and he spends hours in the library looking for answers, trying to find out for himself what really happened. he is skeptical of the generally accepted “truth” that duscur itself is to blame, and instead believes that the blame foisted on it is meant to cover up something far more underhanded. of course, he is right about this, and he conducts as much research as he can to get to the bottom of the event. he spends hours in the library, late into the night. he reads about his uncle, lord arundel, and immediately suspects his involvement because the church’s records of his donations abruptly stop right before the tragedy. dimitri questions the man himself about this during their brief encounter pre-timeskip, though it (predictably) doesn’t really lead anywhere. he tries this again post-timeskip, but arundel dies before dimitri can pry too much out of him, which the latter bitterly laments.

“That is merely the logic of the living. It’s meaningless.”

much like dimitri’s Si, his Ti becomes warped once he enters his Si-Ti loop — feeding into a harsh, twisted, self-deprecating sort of logic that only reinforces itself and ignores other viewpoints (thanks to Fe and Ne shutting down). he becomes uncharacteristically blunt and critical, and the colder, more cynical view of the world we see glimpses of pre-timeskip becomes far more pronounced. in his mind, it doesn’t make sense for the living to move on in hopes of appeasing the dead. turning a blind eye to the dead is blasphemous, and anyone who believes that the dead would want the living to do so is merely adopting “the logic of the living” — a delusion to make themselves feel better. this belief likely helps him rationalize his own desire for revenge, and inability to let go of his past, and so the Si-Ti loop reinforces itself. to reiterate though, dimitri’s Ti is incredibly helpful and constructive when he isn’t loopy (ahahah. get it.) but anyway yeah, in short, his analytical process is typically far more introverted than the sensitive, emotion-focused approach he maintains externally. also, his attention to detail and refusal to accept things at face value are more subtle, covert elements of his personality, but they are definitely there. it’s not as pronounced as claude’s auxiliary Ti, sure, but tertiary Ti ain’t a force to be reckoned with either.

Inferior Ne

“Lineage, race, faith, ideologies... If we could just accept each other and make mutual concessions, one step at a time... Perhaps... Who knows if that’s even possible.”

again, this is one of claude’s functions but more baby. take upside down man’s dominant Ne and make it a bit smoller, more scared, and quicker to shut down. inferior Ne is brilliant, but unfortunately the fourth function tends to be one of insecurity. dimitri aspires to be open-minded and accepting (there’s a reason the inferior function is sometimes called the aspirational function), but it’s something he admittedly struggles with at times. he believes in compromise and understanding, and not just in an Fe way — dimitri advocates for reaching out to other perspectives in war, in politics, and in various other contexts throughout the story. it isn’t the first thing on his mind, but it’s an ideal he genuinely admires. and later in the game, once he snaps out of his loop (which is inherently tunnel-visioned due to its introverted nature), he opens up to the idea again and seeks to understand edelgard’s point of view. he asks to speak with her, to get a better idea of where she’s coming from, to negotiate and hopefully reach a mutual understanding. this echoes his dialogue in chapter 3, where he laments the incident with lord lonato and expresses his belief that they shouldn’t have cut him down, but talked to him instead. dimitri’s Si-Ti loop effectively shuts this desire down, for a very long time, but it finally wakes up again once byleth reminds him “there must be another way.”

“I wonder which is best, Professor... To cut away that which is unacceptable, or to find a way to accept it anyway.”

again, as long as byleth is there to steer him back on track, we all know the answer dimitri gets to this in the end. there is always an air of uncertainty about it all — and he definitely needs someone to help kick that inferior into “aspirational mode” — but he is ultimately capable of it. it begins as more of a question than anything, but with guidance it becomes an ideal he can properly believe in and seek for himself. it’s what allows him to finally reach for edelgard’s hand in the end. once he accepts the parts of himself he previously couldn’t, he finds himself able to accept edelgard as well — to extend that same mercy to her. once he’s out of his loop, he doesn’t just regain awareness of his loved ones’ needs with Fe, but becomes invested in understanding their perspectives and motivations again with Ne. he listens to people again, lets them help him, asks them questions, and shows genuine curiosity in their answers. claude would be proud eh?

Shadow Functions

okay here we go. i’m going to make this part shorter since it’s the main functions that matter most, and i know not everyone subscribes to the idea of shadow functions. but anyway here’s the dirt.

Opposing Se

“It’s not that I have grown weary...more that I find it difficult to be around everyone at the moment.”

this man literally cannot taste food. do i even need to elaborate? okay for real though, dimitri often finds it hard to remain present. he’s often caught up in his duties with Si, or worrying about the atmosphere with Fe, or stuck in his research with Ti, and so on. he is very much capable of making pleasant conversation, but actually feeling present is very difficult for him, and he even goes so far as to describe joy as “fleeting.” he struggles to enjoy festivities, claiming they “don’t suit [him],” and prefers instead to chat with byleth about his childhood. he can’t truly enjoy the meals he eats with others, but he remarks about the dishes he “used to love as a child.” trauma aside, dimitri finds genuine comfort in reminiscing about the past, and he often brings it up in his conversations with others. this is a classic dynamic between dominant Si and the opposing Se that comes along with it.

Critic Fi

“Whatever my feelings, it is all the act of a monster.”

dimitri’s personal feelings are...very, very low on his priority list. and despite all his preaching, he ultimately believes that whatever his personal moral compass may be, it doesn’t justify his actions. and he extends this belief to everyone else as well. simply put, dimitri doesn’t think any set of ideals or morals can justify the actions committed in war. as Aleczandxr words it, “the only reality of war is tragedy for him. there is no such thing as a ‘glorious’ or ‘romantic’ death, and sacrifice is blasphemy.” this is evident in his disgust at people trying to glorify glenn’s death (which dimitri ironically shares with felix — who of course has demon Fi — but that’s a topic for another time.) no subjective concept of morality could possibly justify murder, in any context, and this belief is a burden dimitri admits he believes he will carry forever. dimitri’s introverted realm is a reconciliation between Si and Ti, not Si and Fi. although he believes this should apply to everyone in theory, he often struggles to voice it outright, leading to the hypocritical dynamic that often comes with auxiliary Fe and critic Fi. an example of this is when he tells ashe not to beat himself up for what happened with lord lonato, in an attempt to comfort him, but then proceeds to beat himself up for the exact same thing as soon as ashe leaves. furthermore, the advice he gives marianne in his support with her is to understand that she doesn’t have to “force [her]self to smile as [her] soul bleeds,” though that is exactly what he does for the majority of the academy phase. in any case, the fact that he chooses to give her this specific advice, of all things, is telling.

Trickster Te

“I do not want you to die a death like that. Not even for the sake of loyalty or duty.”

dimitri struggles with efficiency. his intense loathing of sacrifice, regardless of context, makes it very difficult for him to strategize as a commander the way that edelgard does. his rational side is, for the most part, internal; he uses it for his research, his theorizing, his personal endeavors to obtain more information and better understand his circumstances. but he struggles to apply that same level of cold, hard logic while commanding his troops, especially in battle. this comes up in his support with ingrid, who remarks that any good king innately understands some of his soldiers’ lives must be sacrificed for the greater good. she then proceeds to call dimitri’s ideals soft-hearted, which is as good an encapsulation as any of how his Te compares to edelgard’s. war and battlefields aside, dimitri struggles with being harsh in general, preferring to speak to others in softer, more personal terms rather than being blunt. he translates his Ti findings into “acceptable” Fe terms, except for when he enters a loop and said Fe shuts down. during these phases, dimitri is harsh in a manner far more characteristic of “unfiltered” Ti than it is of unrestrained Te, as he snaps at others to leave him alone more than he is inclined to order them around.

Demon Ni

“Do I have the right to live for myself?”

as soon as dimitri snaps out of his Si-Ti revenge craze, his first instinct is to ask who or what he should live for now. and even after byleth tells him to live for what he believes in, it’s very clear in dimitri’s subsequent supports that “what he believes in” is still fulfilling his duty to his kingdom. the difference is that he now has a healthier conception of said duty, and is finally open to accepting his loved ones’ support. that said, he has never been naturally inclined to follow his more personal desires, plainly admitting that he has rarely — if ever — given his own dreams any thought. furthermore, he struggles considerably with looking toward the future, and is unable to do so without byleth, who needs to physically stop him from looking back and guide him onward in the final cutscene. even at his healthiest, dimitri is a defender of the past. he criticizes edelgard by asking her if she would really force people to “throw their lives away for the future,” and warns her that regardless of how strongly she believes in her vision, the future she creates will be “built on a foundation of tears.” this is because he understands, better than most, just how critical the past can be in any individual’s life.

Conclusion

the internet needs to stop hating Si and just let characters be well-written “and Si” at the same time lol. especially in such obvious, practically textbook cases of high Si. one of the most common arguments against Si dimitri is that his devotion to the past is only caused by his trauma, and “isn’t the real him.” the fact of the matter is, dimitri’s Si manifests in so much more than just his duty to avenge the fallen. it plays a huge role in so many other elements of his personality, as do the other functions that come with being an ISFJ. i’m tired of these implications that Ni is some inherently higher, “healthier” form of being lying under literally any indication of Si, which automatically gets discarded as trauma or something lmao. c’mon guys ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#fe3h #dimitri #mbti #isfj

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irerow · 5 years

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relationships. ---- platonic and romantic, + discussion on her type.

on topics of romance . . . cherry’s type is as much broad as it is narrow in that she does have a certain type, perhaps two types, and these don’t necessarily have to all align for her to find some semblance of interest, although, again, just to note cherry’s own personality and difficulties in forming bonds of friendship let alone even begin considering romance, she does not easily, and hardly ever will, consider someone romantically. for her to even think about that would mean for her mile - thick barriers to have to be broken, and she would have to, yet again, overcome the fear of getting close with someone and allowing them to become closer with her and expose that vulnerability and be open, and to allow herself to love and be loved. she has great trauma in forming any kind of relationship due to losing her family and has, more or less, sworn to never get close to anyone to prevent herself from experiencing any kind of heartache or pain from losing someone, no matter how, whether it is because of drifting apart, betrayal, or death.

of course, things changed upon meeting the scions. they were friendly ---- almost overly friendly in their quick acceptance of her, in their blind and devoted faith toward her. they were so kind and welcoming, treating her like family as she got to know them, and without realizing it, in time, she did begin to feel as if they were close friends, that they were akin to a family, although it was not a thought that actually crossed her mind in words. she felt it subconsciously, not that it was something she was actively acknowledging. to even refer to someone as a friend is something so deeply intimate to her ---- it is an acknowledgement of her deep feelings of love and care and respect for them, and to admit to that would be to admit that she had grown fond of them, that they were her vulnerability, that she would be deeply pained if she were to ever lose them, and that is not a risk she is willing or ready to actively have in general. she does, however, come to terms soon enough with her feelings toward the scions, likely prior to the garlean infiltration of the waking sands, but it is in the actual event that she realizes just how close she had become to the scions in such short amount of time, perhaps not all of them but its core group, when she finds just how much she worried over minfilia’s wellbeing, over the death of noraxia ---- cherry had grown quite fond of the sylphs, and she was incredibly saddened by noraxia’s death.

so, in short, cherry makes it an active point in avoiding becoming close with anyone and often appears cold because of her habit of keeping others at arms length. she speaks of her personal matters very rarely, and it is likely that none of the scions are aware of her past. it is not out of a lack of trust, because she trusts the scions more than anyone in the world. it’s nothing like not wanting to burden them either, because she doesn’t care about that. what she cares about is the feeling of people having such deep knowledge about her, as she is an incredibly private person, and for someone to possess such private knowledge of her, she would have had to let them into her heart ---- letting someone into her heart means she would hurt to lose them, that they would hurt to lose her, and she would not have anyone feel such heartache she had in loss.

cherry has what we call a resting bitch face, and quite a personality to match if you cross her. she is not the most friendly person on the planet toward strangers, especially if you rub her the wrong way or just have such an abhorrent personality, but she is not unkind, unless you are deserving. say, she catches you mistreating an innocent, she will step in on the innocent’s behalf and promptly threaten you and accost you, and definitely would precede to beat your ass. she does not often show it, but she is a worrier regarding those she cares about and considers to be friends and has unconventional ways in which she expresses her care, but that is a discussion for a different post, but i digress. her expression often does keep people at bay, but sometimes it does not ---- her expression isn’t mean, per se, just something that, perhaps, looks mildly agitated.

another generally neutral expression of indifference she may have comes across as a rather seductive / sultry look, with what appear to be perpetual bedroom eyes, but that is simply her face and she is, more often than not, not interested unless she is actively being extremely friendly and actively flirting with you. even then, that is not express interest in bedding you, either ---- she likes to flirt for fun, be it for someone’s reaction, or if she wants something from them ( an item, information ), or simply because she’s bored and has nothing better to do to pass the time. you will know if cherry is actually interested in doing anything beyond casual flirting.

when it comes to even just casual sex, cherry’s type is the same as it would be for any romantic interests ( though, that is a rare feat, as explained above and perhaps i will elaborate further ). if your personality isn’t attractive to her, or if it isn’t something she can even tolerate or if it isn’t a personality that could belong to someone who could be a friend, she’s not interested. not for sex, not for friendships, nothing. she is quite easily irritated, so how could she find any interest in someone who is an annoyance to her?

to finally discuss what her type actually is, to put it concisely: feral, chaotic, funny, dominant, kind ---- not necessarily all together, but those are top traits. i say feral and chaotic because cherry is generally feral and chaotic beneath her mask of seriousness and indifference, because while she does take her role as warrior of light and a scion seriously, and while she does often appear extremely serious during those situations and is excellent at remaining calm under situations of stress or high - stakes situations, beyond that, she is a little bit unhinged. she very much enjoys a good fight and stirring up trouble with friends in that she loves to tease them, pick on them, share drinks, etc.

to elaborate further, she enjoys someone with a sense of humor, someone who can tease her back in return and retaliate to her sarcasm and wit with equal sarcasm and wit to make her laugh, or get under her skin. honestly, someone who is attractively irritating is such peak aesthetics to her, when someone is attractive in personality to the degree where it’s a begrudging attraction of tension because she hates that they’re attractive when they’re so irritating, but in a manner that is something she somehow is enjoying. she enjoys someone who finds as much fun in things and can have fun with her as much as she does, such as going out on little outings in free times, like for drinks, enjoying small town events, pulling pranks on comrades to laugh at their reactions, etc. again, she’s someone who takes her role seriously, but outside of that, cherry is a very fun person and she finds someone who can have fun like that attractive as well. someone who is playful, but retains a serious side, is very attractive. she enjoys someone with a dominant enough personality who can counter her own, someone who is willingly tease her, who will not just take her teasing and who will not just accept her demands. she enjoys someone with kindness in their heart for their loved ones, or even strangers, because as much as she pretends she isn’t soft, as much as she doesn’t want to be caught committing acts of softness or to be regarded as a soft person, it warms her heart to see something like that from afar, which is why she adores the scions so much. they are all such good and kind people who’ve touched her heart, as well as those around her.

but again, for cherry to consider someone romantically is an incredibly difficult barrier to cross. if you thought it was difficult to befriend her, genuinely befriend her, trying to seek her out romantically is even harder. if she even feels like you are romantically interested in her, even if she deep down reciprocates it, she will pull away and ghost you and completely give you the cold shoulder until she feels as if maybe you’ve given up. this is in most cases. she panics and gets so scared, and it’s an awful defense mechanism to pull away like this, but it’s such an instant and instinctive reaction out of fear after having been closed off to everyone for so long. there is one character, who i wooooon’t say here, who she would be interested in who she doesn’t immediately run from because they would have just . . . slipped under her skin and into her heart so quickly and just . . . made her open her heart so easily, but i digress !!

if she doesn’t return the feelings at all, she definitely would just continue to be very curt and brusque, and she would feel bad for it eventually and try to retain an air of friendliness, but it’s just difficult knowing she’s seen in a light in which she could never return. in some cases she might be able to tease you for your one - sided affections, but in most cases she might just feel bad about it, if you were a good friend or something. but regardless, it’s cherry’s instinct to just run. if she does return the feelings, she would come to confront it with herself eventually before confronting you to have a proper conversation about it, and it would just be such a heart - opening and vulnerable conversation because she would spill so much about herself regarding why she reacted the way she did. it’s easier for her to run than to confront these and open herself to the chance of getting hurt somehow.

tldr ---- it is difficult to befriend cherry. it is even harder to try to date her. it’s why she doesn’t welcome or really allow soft touches, even platonically, and shies away from hugs, gentle touches to her hand or shoulders, her ears, etc. those who are somewhat playful in disposition will find it easier to creep into her heart ---- she won’t even realize that it happens until it’s too late, until she feels a flutter in her stomach, a longing to see them, a pang of ache when parting with them or worrying for their wellbeing.

#if ur trying to be cherry's friend ... have patience kjbfdg #if you're romantically interested in cherry .............. have even moRE patience #✧ — calm in the storm‚ if only the stars aligned.#✦ — hush‚ hush‚ ashes & dust.#I WISH I PUT THIS MUCH EFFORT INTO ACTUALLY FINISHING MY BIO #LMFAO

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thewoodedbastion · 3 years

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Roleplay Roadblock

This is something that has been on my mind for a while. I know talking about things and writing them, for me, makes them a bit more tangible. Once something is tangible I often have a better ability to navigate it. I am hoping this is the case with this topic. I want to have a deeper more immersive experience at LARP and in character in general. I want to not so much internally get lost. Like I don't want to be so inside a character that i'm disassociating. I do want to get lost in the process of exploring and expressing a character. I want to be less timid as characters and with how i perform them. Especially at a LARP where i get to spend a weekend away as a character, I want to be able to exist more naturally and thoroughly as a character without second guessing myself and my choices. I have found through thinking about it as well as through talking about this with friends that I have several road blocks. Many of the conversations have come up in regard to future games that I will be soon attending in person. At Seventh Kingdom IGE I was very much a novice to LARPing as a whole as well as still technically a noob in related genre's such as ttrpgs and forum roleplaying. Though i had such a great time, I did not exist in the game as deeply as I could have for as long as I could have. I felt I was just hitting my stride as game was nearing and end. I expressed a desire to up my game so to speak, but in so i had to acknowledge my roadblocks from my previous experience. One thing that kept me from going full tilt in a lot of situations was knowing the power I wield as a performer. I'm not a god tier performer by no means. However I am sitting on a performing arts Bachelors degree, one of which is still actively engage with via my job and my other hobbies. When it comes to performance I know I can turn up as my peers would say. This may sound silly, but I was afraid of taking too much spotlight. I was afraid of accidentally stepping over other people. I know many of my larp peers don't have a performance background. I know many are just gaining the kind of confidence that allows them to take charge of things. I know folks come to these weekends to be heard, and affirmed. To feel powerful and capable. I always would clam up because i had a fear of taking that away from someone else. Its kind of something i saw happened a lot from the background. I watched it happen to other cool people who i thought were smart and capable, but just didn't quiet have the confidence all the time in certain settings. So this was a real fear for me in those moments. I'm not going to say that i never took moments. I definitely got some where sometimes. But even in moments i generated for myself as a bard, I had such a weird feeling of going "hey guys, look at me be cool" and it made me feel icky despite knowing that folks did not feel this way about me. I had a fear of separating myself from everyone else. I know that how I experience things is a bit extreme and the kind of experience is often deeper than what most folks around me want. I've been hearing for most of my life that what I want to experience is "A lot" or "too much". And for most folks it is. It doesn't come from a place of hate. It was never in a bullying sense. It does however make one lonely in the universe. So i've always been afraid to go to the full extent that I want to experience because it feels like putting myself on an island away from other people. I do want to do my thing and be my best me. I have been doing that all my life solo. LARP gave me one of my few real tastes of what it is like to get to be the real me with other people. The deep me that doesn't get engaged with very often. That is still part of my core needs, as much as digging deep into immersion is. Along these same lines, I am afraid of giving someone the wrong impression of me. There are some characters that I want to play that are going to be purposefully scary and off putting. There will be times where i may get into a groove of a character that folks stop seeing who I really am for that time

being. What happens if I accidentally make someone uncomfortable while i'm in character? What happens when they don't feel safe to talk to me? I don't want to inadvertently have a negative affect on folks because of my deep level of immersion On a more personal side ive realized i'm kind of afraid of committing to the bit. I'm afraid of how it might affect me. Its unknown territory, and i'm aware that mentally and emotionally i'm not indestructible. Its less about losing a sense of reality. That I feel pretty solid and grounded in because i love fantasy and immersion so much. I'm afraid of how it might affect me in the long and short term. I'm afraid of possible bleed. I'm afraid of the come down from being in character for the weekend. I'm afraid of how it might affect my mental emotional state if I haven't been doing the best. Its kind of the fear of going to a new place all together and realizing there is a huge world of possibilities both positive and negative. I'm a deep feeler and i know this. I'm also very committed to the things that I do. So i'm just a bit afraid of stepping past that unknown threshold into deep immersion and exploring. Something i've learned recently from a roleplay experience i'm having with a friend of mine is that i'm afraid of the "hard road". I'm afraid of making choices that will make my time at game as a player harder. I'm afraid of not being able to overcome obstacles, and not being able to I guess do cool things or even basic things successfully. In the case of the roleplay i've been doing its been because of the RNG of digital dice rolls, but what I was seeing was still another obstacle being put in my way. I'm often so much better as just me overcoming obstacles so you'd think it wouldn't matter, but for whatever reasons the hard road at a LARP is scary and mentally exhausting to think about. So i know there is a part of me that wants to shy away from choices that maybe genuine but would make things suck a bit. Then of course . . .What if I fail? What if i'm just bad at being in character? What if as my character i mess up a plot or a mod? What if I become an obstacle for people instead of a partner in story? What if I just mess up? What if my accent is awful and insulting? Just general anxiety of an anxious Cabbit. I'm almost certain i'm not the only person who worries about this. So explaining my fears helps at least get them out in a real way. Talking about it is only one part to it. For this situation to improve I need to be able to work past theses issues in some tangible way. I need to make choices and shift my perspective about these situations. I need to remember that I am a player too and have right to be seen and heard like everyone else. Part of my training is the ability to be able to share space with other people. Partnership is part of my gig, and what is LARP if not collaborative storytelling improv. I need to take the chance and speak up. I need to step up into my characters but also keep myself present enough to be aware of other folks around me who are trying to participate. Part of the facilitation I do at my job is bringing folks into conversations and making space for them to speak. I'm proficient in this and I can apply it to how I roleplay with others at game. I don't have to completely sacrifice myself just so others can have space. There is plenty of room for all of us. I'll just have to remember to both step up and step back from time to time. I have no way of absolutely knowing that I will be separated or ostracizing if I go to my full performance potential. I know I can be a lot but there have been times in my LARP history where folks have expressed how much me being me made a good experience for them. Times were I did the absolute most. If I am afraid about being to much I can talk with folks about it and get their feelings. I can tell folks about my ideas for my character expression and gauge their response. I might even get some input. I can negotiate roleplay boundaries with folks I could potentially interacting with, in game, and

possibly create some roleplay partnerships throughout the weekend. Talking to folks before and after game, as well as during NPC shifts will give everyone a chance to see me beyond my characters. This will help create some separation from the characters I play and me as a person. Also NPCing in and of itself will give folks a chance to see me as other characters so the get the chance to just recognize me as a performer and experience me in various characters. If I am worried about my mental state I can up my general self care to hopefully help with any possible adverse effects. I can add grounding and centering routines to my larp weekends before and after event, and during if necessary. I can build a personal debrief/decompress session into my overall larp wellness routine after game is over. I can try to find a buddy to do check ins with during events if I need them, either at game or off site. I need to sit with my discomfort with the struggles of a character. Challenge is part of the game. Obstacles are necessary for a character to have an interesting narrative and to grow. Its ok if things are difficult. Even video games are difficult sometimes (I'm looking at you Super Ghouls and Ghost), but can still be fun. I need to learn to process that discomfort with struggle and not be afraid of it. If I can overcome real life obstacles i can figure out in game ones as well. It will make the character cooler, but it will make me feel like I have actually accomplished something. That is a rewarding feeling. All of these fears I have are super manageable. I really want to be a great character artist someday. Not just in dedication but in actual ability. I gotta screw up a bit before i get there and that is ok. I want to do cool things not just for others, but for myself as well. I want to have fun. My kind of fun. I want to have that fun with friends.

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sl-walker · 6 years

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How about that moment in GoT: Alderaan when Obi-Wan gets comfortable enough (or distracted enough) to flirt back at Maul?

Later, Obi-Wan would reflect that the champagne must have been at fault.

According to Breha, Maul used to dress extravagantly for parties all of the time, first on the Estate of House Organa and then in the palace as a member of the royal family; apparently, he once had a small cadre of fans who sought invites just to see what he was wearing.

When Breha showed him some of the holos, Obi-Wan could definitely see why. Instead of the blue and silver he wore to most formal events these days, sedate and stately, Maul would unabashedly make use of his own coloration and build to wear clothing that seemed tailored to draw every eye in the room and then keep that attention until he no longer wanted it. None of it was scandalous (except perhaps the time he was wearing little more than a sheer scarf and some foliage, of all things!), but it was–

Well, undeniably playing to his sex appeal. Clothes cut to frame his strong shoulders and lean waist, ample use of black and red and gold and sometimes deep blue or even a dark green or violet. Bold colors and bold use of the colors, though no matter how elaborate the dress, it was all tailored to highlight the zabrak’s natural good looks. Combined with the painted horns and the eye-liner and sometimes other makeup, and with the studs in his ears, and Obi-Wan could see why people would try hard to get invited to parties just to get an eyeful.

Obi-Wan had only seen him dress in a similar fashion twice since moving here, though, and even then, it was not quite to those levels. And aside the tango with the Corellian, Maul didn’t seem to seek out any notice.

“I asked him to dress for me both times,” Breha said, mouth bowing a little in something readily recognizable as sorrow. “It’s– been a long time since he’s done so of his own accord.”

Obi-Wan had been here for many months now, long enough to know some of the trials this family had been through. And enough to recognize that so many of these little losses they suffered were all related to one another.

It surprised him that he could feel his own pang of sorrow over something as innocuous as someone else’s mode of dress, of all things. But then again, everything about Maul was unlikely and Obi-Wan had made some tentative peace awhile ago that he might never solve that mystery in full.

(Oh, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to. Oh, he was in so much trouble.)

House Organa had drawn him in, gracefully and kindly, and it still boggled the Jedi often that he had allowed it. It started with little gestures of inclusion, but eventually the process had gained a momentum of its own, and the walls fell slowly but steadily. Absent his one early mistake – as awful as that was – where he had gotten caught mid-comm to Master Windu, seeking information about Maul, he had been steadily brought into their trust.

(He never, ever wanted to see that wounded, betrayed look aimed at him again; Obi-Wan couldn’t have felt worse about it if he had dropkicked a felinx kit, after setting it on fire for good measure. Maul was angry with him after, rightfully, but not anywhere as much as he was hurt by it, and Obi-Wan discovered swiftly that he would rather jump in front of a sniper’s bolt himself if it would prevent him from doing that again.)

But thanks to his own willingness to earn back the trust he had damaged and the way that had served as a wake-up call that he had better relearn how to interact with other living beings in more normal ways than as a drifting, desperate and heartsick wanderer without any tact, he had been forgiven and life continued. He developed a fairly deep friendship with Bail and Breha, and a solid one with Mazi, and a– considerably more complicated relationship with Maul, though one Obi-Wan treasured.

As such, though, he no longer had to try to understand things from hints and context and could ask outright about them, and so he asked Bail.

He could tell that it was a painful enough subject, by the way Bail’s gaze slid away and how his jaw knotted, even as he forced a mirthless, tight smile. “He– wasn’t ever dressing for the audience, Obi-Wan. I mean, he definitely had their attention, but he was dressing for me, and later for Bre, too. He knew I liked to look, and I think he knew I liked to feel smug about the fact that it was always my arms he’d come back to, and so he started dressing like that. And we all sort of– stopped everything. After– after Bre lost the first baby. I think that was just the period of mourning, though.”

It was still incredibly hard for any of the members of House Organa to talk about the two miscarriages. Breha would hesitate and then do so matter-of-factly, when the topic came up, which was her way of facing it; Bail had learned to only after many therapy sessions, and even now, it was clear that it was a struggle for him to put words to his loss and grief.

And Maul never spoke of it, though there had been times Obi-Wan was sure he was thinking of it, if his expression and the occasional bleed of emotions through his shielding was any indicator.

“It was the second that– broke things. I mean, you know a lot of that, but–” Bail’s shoulders jerked in a painful-looking shrug. “I got it into my head that if I just found the right combination of actions, I could fix things. I could give them back what they lost, somehow. Except, I was– I was so busy trying to twist things back to right and true, that I missed out on the fact that all they wanted, all they really needed, was me. Not me– not me strong or unhurt or whatever, not me fixing things. Just me there, to share this loss with. Bre’s pretty resilient, I think everyone would have ended up shattered if she weren’t. Maul, though–”

There was a beat, and Bail closed his eyes. “You know, he was a ghost when he came to Alderaan. He didn’t speak for months, no one even knew what his voice sounded like. The best I could ever get out of him was eye-contact, and even that was pretty rare. He’d just eat what was put in front of him, wear what was handed to him, and he’d pace the grounds of the Estate all night long, sometimes, and other times he’d just sit in his room until someone came to get him like– like it never even crossed his mind that the door was open, he could walk through it whenever he wanted. He always seemed to be waiting for the next awful thing to happen to him. He was really quiet even after he did start engaging, too, it wasn’t until he was about eighteen that he started interacting with people anything like normally. Everyone thought he was really shy. I’d rescue him from well-meaning conversationalists regularly.”

It was hard to imagine Maul in that state, though there was the undeniable ring of truth in Bail’s words, if only because even hurt as he was (and seemed to still be) over more recent events, he had still been gracious to Obi-Wan and anyone else who approached him.

“He didn’t start getting genuinely social in any recognizable sense of the word until he and I were together, not long after he turned twenty, and I don’t doubt it was mostly because he wanted to keep up with me, and then he figured out that I liked looking at him. And that was when he started dressing up; the first time he did it, I ended up looking like an idiot, I spilled my wine, I left the table early, the whole spectacle, and then he came sauntering into my bedroom – really, our bedroom – and teased me about it. And it just became kind of a thing after that. He’d go all-out, I’d lust after him– so would half our guests or more, too – and he’d have fun with it. Just– mischief. He’d go out there and have all these people who wanted him, and he’d eye me from wherever he was in the room sometimes and I’d have to try to choke down a laugh because he was beautiful like that, that kind of playful. I never doubted for a second that it was pretty much for my benefit. And after he and Bre stepped across the line from being friends to being lovers, he’d dress up to get her attention, too.”

Bail paused there, resting his face in his hands for a long moment; his breath was a little short and ragged before he finally said, “I think after– this, he stopped feeling like he was worth looking at. I think in the worst parts, he just kind of accepted that he wasn’t worth loving anymore, too; he tried so hard, to just–” His breath went more jagged. “–to protect us and love us anyway, and I didn’t even really see how alone he had been those months, and it took him almost dying in my arms for me to get it, and–”

It was a rare thing, when Obi-Wan felt the urge to reach out to someone else, let alone so much as this. But the sight and sound of Bail Organa falling apart was more than enough to provoke it.

He wrapped his arms around the man, and rested a bearded cheek against Bail’s hair, and ached for all of them.

Queen Breha didn’t quite have the same socialite appetites that Queen Mazi had; she still hosted regular events, just not quite as regular. Still, Obi-Wan had gone to plenty of them now anyway; he even had his own formal-wear these days, though it was certainly more subdued. Typically, he wore a long belted tunic and trousers, his only real concession to finery the very lovely boots that Breha had commissioned for him.

“They’re good dancing boots,” she said, when he tried them on, red-faced and touched and still trying to get used to being something of a kept Jedi.

They took a little breaking in, but once he got used to them, he occasionally danced with the queen during parties; Maul was still her regular dance partner, and sometimes Bail for slower numbers, but neither of her gentlemen seemed to mind Obi-Wan taking a round or two.

He would heartily deny that it was his prior questions and the heartaching answers that had him blushingly ask the royal tailor to perhaps come up with something a little fancier to wear. (The fact that the tailor’s face lit up as if he had been given a fine gift didn’t help Obi-Wan’s complexion any.)

That was how he found himself standing in front of a mirror, wondering who the nobleman staring back at him was. He still looked himself, but– so very different, too. It was nearly enough to make him strip and hide the clothes in the closet, just because they were such a far cry from the simple tunics and robes of a Jedi.

Done in varying shades of soft, warm-toned blue to cool-violet, like the sky in twilight, and with rose-gold accents, the doublet was in a similar style that used to flatter Maul when he would dress that way; the delicate winding flowers and vines that wove over it in thin, almost transparent shimmering thread were only visible from certain angles, giving them an almost ethereal appearance. His dark violet leggings vanished into his dark brown boots, and the belt under the doublet was matched to those, with a hook he could clip his lightsaber on. Over his shoulder was the half-cape that was the typical accessory for most Alderaanian males in a party setting, a likewise dark violet and edged with the same rose gold.

Combined with his neatly trimmed beard and nearly trimmed hair, and he looked almost as if he had been born on this world into such fineness, some lost son returning to it.

He wavered back and forth on going dressed like this to the small gala; one moment wanting to write the whole idea off, and the next determining that he was going to go regardless of his nerves. He didn’t finally manage to summon the nerve entirely until after it had already started, though.

He slipped in through the door, and flushed some at the double-take by the page who opened the door, and hugged the wall until he managed to get three flutes of champagne off of a waiter, all three of which he knocked back in succession. The waiter didn’t even leave; he just stood there, eyebrow raised, as Obi-Wan set the emptied flutes back on the tray.

Once he was gone, Obi-Wan bounced on his toes once, blowing out a breath, and then walked with steady self-assurance (however real or not it was) towards where the royals were seated in their usual spot.

It was Breha who spotted him first; her eyebrows shot up and she leaned back some in her seat, eying him over. As if that wasn’t enough to make him blush, Bail’s attention soon followed and then he had both rulers of an entire world looking at him appreciatively. And there was no denying that it was appreciative. Obi-Wan hoped his red face didn’t take too much away from the effect.

Flattered though he was – and he definitely was – it wasn’t their reaction he was after.

It was the absolutely bemused, amused, curious look Maul gave him that he wanted. The baffled little grin, lopsided and (Obi-Wan kicked himself mentally) adorable.

With some champagne warming his belly – it was only the champagne, he’d deny anything else – Obi-Wan wound his way over there, only peripherally aware that everyone he passed close by fell quiet to watch him. When he got there, he gave the royal couple the customary bow, then offered his own grin, which he knew was sheepish. “Queen Breha, Prince Bail. Could I borrow Lord Maul for a dance?”

“Oh, by all means, Master Jedi,” Breha answered, her jazz-singer voice just the right mix between humored and sultry. “If he agrees, of course.”

“I’ll admit to being curious enough to see how this goes,” Maul said, rising to his feet with the ridiculous amount of grace he seemed to have been born with. He looked Obi-Wan up and down, brows up. “My compliments to your tailor, Master Jedi.”

“He’s your tailor, too.” Just because he didn’t want to go half-measures, he offered his hand palm-up, as he’d seen others do, and grinned back when Maul huffed a laugh at him before giving his hand over. Contrast to Obi-Wan’s flashy ensemble, he was just in House Organa’s calm colors, all solids and silver trim; somehow, Obi-Wan still felt a little outshone, and not in any bad way.

He forwent the knuckle-brushing kiss he wanted to give – no sense laying it on too thick, too fast, though honestly he probably already was doing so – but he definitely didn’t let go of Maul’s hand even when they made it out onto the dance floor, only shifted his grip on it.

All the while, Maul just looked that same good-natured bemused, as if he couldn’t quite figure out what the game was, but was entertained enough by it to follow along and see how it went. Obi-Wan had no doubt that Breha had signaled the band for the piece that followed, which would work with one of the relatively few dances Obi-Wan knew and which also happened to be rather– close.

It was only when he got his hand on the small of Maul’s back and drew him in close that he thought perhaps Maul was starting to get the tenor of this. It was definitely, emphatically the champagne and not the doe-eyed look he gave Obi-Wan that had Obi-Wan’s belly heat yet further.

“What’s gotten into you?” Maul asked, after a moment of apparently regaining his composure, though he never missed a step and didn’t seem offended by it so much as confused.

Obi-Wan firmly clamped down on the extremely wrong and uncouth quip that wanted to leap out of his mouth at that question, swallowing down hard and making an effort to keep his voice light. “Oh. Well, I was undeniably jealous that Faygan got to dance with you, and I hadn’t yet. I figured I should take the opportunity to remedy that.”

Maul drew his head to the side and gave Obi-Wan a skeptical look, though it was tempered by his continued amusement. “Jealousy’s not a very Jedi-like trait.”

“Hence why I had to remedy it. Clearly,” Obi-Wan teased back, glad the steps were simple enough that he was able to– well, flirt, and not step on Maul’s toes in the process.

Maul gave a considered hum, then asked, “And the tailoring?”

That was a little harder to answer blithely, though Obi-Wan didn’t want to make it too heavy, either. “It’s rather hard to outshine you, you know. Nor do I have any desire to,” he said, close enough that he was practically murmuring it right into Maul’s ear, close enough he had to be careful not to get a temple horn dug into his cheekbone. “But I figured the least I could do is put forth the effort you deserve.”

He didn’t imagine the shiver he got back at that. Nor the way Maul’s arm twitched around his shoulder.

Nor the vague, rough edge on the zabrak’s usually smooth voice. “Just for a dance?”

“I hope not the only one.” Whatever trouble he was in, Obi-Wan meant that; he projected as much warmth and reassurance as he could, firmly shoving all thoughts of complications out of his mind for the moment. “Maybe you can teach me the harder ones that you and Queen Breha dance.”

Maul’s answer was long in coming, and around the very edges of his shielding, there were hints of nervousness and less identifiable things bleeding over, but there was a tentative return of the warmth, too. “Maybe,” he finally agreed, and said nothing more.

But when the dance ended, he rested his chin on Obi-Wan’s shoulder for a moment beyond it, before drawing away to go back to the others.

The weight of it there followed Obi-Wan for the rest of the night.

#shadowmaat #kenobi #breha #bail #maul #game of thrones: alderaan #ANGST #AND DANCING #AND FLUFF #AND OBI-WAN BEING DEAD SEXY #AND EVEN SOMETIMES SMOOTH

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