#i feel people think i’m a bad and cruel person for judging them the way i do
Text
Tbh I just really hate people that make me care for them and then turn around and make me suffer by watching themselves willingly put themselves through hell. They think they don’t deserve love. They think they don’t deserve to exist. They think they don’t deserve to be happy. They take my love for them and just throw it back in my face. They take the time and effort I put into them and basically say it means nothing. Their addiction to their misery means more to them than me.
My sympathy can only go so far. I only can care so much. Why should I save someone that repeatedly throws themselves into the fire?
But I will because I love them. And because of that, I hate them.
#rambles#self#DO YOU GET IT? DO YOU GET WHAT I MEAN???#it’s so complicated#i love them#i adore them#i think the world of them#but i also hate them#i think they’re pathetic#i find them to be cruelly selfish#the hardest thing is that i feel like i’m being judged for not trying to help them more actively#i feel people think i’m a bad and cruel person for judging them the way i do#i’ve been told i lack understanding and that i’ve’always been confident and headstrong’#unlike alh*itham though i am not a strong person#i am sensitive and not very resolute#i get guilty easily for feeling the way i do#i admire and envy people like him#th*ma and alh*itham are opposites#enfj and istp#but they share the trait of being able to see the truth without feeling guilty about it#but dom-judgers are all like that haha
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
Right after bob’s death, stevo stays at your place because staying at his was too much. Basically just the reader loving on stevo is all. Their relationship doesn’t really matter as long as its clear that they are soulmates in some capacity. I think stevo just needs to let himself be loved. Grief and depression is horrible to go through alone so its great to have someone who gets it with you as you heal you know?
𝒪𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝓎ℴ𝓊
A/n: This was kinda hard to write, but I definitely needed to
Taglist: @abriefnirvana
Warnings: death, angst to fluff, grief
He wiped the tears away as he got into his car, he breathed a shaky breath as he looked at himself in the car mirror. He was disheveled, with a tangled mop of hair and wrinkled clothes.
Stevo's mind raced with thoughts of where to spend the night. And then it hit him - you were the only other person he wanted to be with right now. You would know what to do now.
Without a second thought, he stepped on the gas pedal and raced towards you as fast as his old car could go.
As he rushed towards your apartment, no matter how hard he tried to stop them, the tears streamed down his cheeks while Bad Religion blared on the radio.
He found himself thinking about Bob. Was he a bad friend for leaving him like that? He felt horrible, but he wasn’t sure about what else to do.
The image stayed in his mind, almost causing a crash as his thoughts raced, his hands acting faster than his head.
Finally, after what felt like the longest drive in history, he reached your place. He looked at a bottle of beer on the side of his door, drinking it as if he was a college kid who had just been dared to. He would need it tonight. Then he laid his eyes on someone outside.
As you were taking out the trash, you saw a small baby cat nearby and smiled. You knelt, and the cat shyly approached you. It rubbed against your leg as you looked into its curious eyes and pet it with care.
He stumbled out of his car door, the sound making you turn your head and the cat also turn its head to him.
“Stevo?” you mumbled to yourself. You recognized the blue hair quickly, and he looked at you. He was…crying?
"Stevo," you said, as you dropped your trash on the floor and hurried towards him. He was crying uncontrollably, and when he saw you, he wrapped his arms around you. You were taken aback by the sudden embrace, but you rubbed his back to give him some sort of comfort. "Oh, Stevo," you whispered softly.
He cried, tears staining your shirt as he buried his head in your shoulder. People came outside when they heard the cries.
“You're the only one I have left.” he cried into your shoulder.
“C’mon, let's go inside, okay?” you weren't sure what had happened, but it made your heart break.
You had been lifelong friends since middle school and stuck together like glue. Despite your longstanding feelings for him, you never told him how you felt in fear of him not having the same feelings.
He thought you were too sweet to him, too nice in this cruel, unjust world.
The little cat watched as you both walked up the stairs. Stevo looked back at its copper eyes and black fur, following his moves like a lucky cat in a store.
You led him inside, his sobs became more quiet and slowed down as he rubbed his eyes with his hand and sat down on a chair at your table. He felt like a loser, a poser. But you were one of the only people he knew wouldn’t judge him.
You shut the door and turned to him. It was silent for a moment while you both stared at each other.
“What happened?” you asked softly, making your way to the chair next to him.
He looked down at the ground while he explained what happened this morning. Bob had died of an overdose, your eyes widened as you listened and looked at him with sadness.
“I’m.. so sorry. Steven.. that’s horrible.” You said once he finished.
Steven. You hadn’t used his real name in ages.
He didn’t know how to respond, he simply just looked down.
“Uhm… you want me to call for you? So you don’t have to? I can tell them what happened so he can get buried, and everything else…”
He looked up now. “You’d do that?”
You nodded and smiled at him.
"Stevo, I am here for you, whether you need anything or want to talk. I’m here for you.”
“Thank you.” he mumbled, feeling himself about to cry again.
You went over to him, he stood up and hugged you again, when you both pulled away you smiled softly and wiped his tears away.
"You can stay for as long as you need, okay?" you spoke softly.
You led him into your room, telling him to chill in there for a second while you called the police. They said they had to question you, but you did not mention Stevo at all, so as long as he didn’t have to, you were fine with it.
You hung up and sighed, rubbing your forehead. You felt horrible for Stevo, who had to see his best friend and roommates dead body in front of him, crying for him.
You entered the room for and climbed into the bed beside him. He gazed at you with red, tired eyes, and wrapped his arms around your body. You reciprocated the gesture, holding him close and not wanting to let go, playing with his hair as he rested his head on your chest.
You kissed the top of his head, and in any situation, he would've questioned the action. But right now it was just what he needed.
He fell asleep quickly in your arms, his eyes heavy. You wished it happened under better circumstances.
#stevo levy#stevo levy x reader#steven levy#steven levy x reader#slc punk x reader#slc punk#matthew lillard#matthew lillard fluff#matthew lillard x reader
161 notes
·
View notes
Text
On the fifty shades of morally grey
So quick thoughts on how MXTX writes morally grey.
Sorry, I mean, excessively long meta post on how MXTX writes morally grey. Light spoilers for all three books.
A gazillion caveats to begin with. Firstly, I don’t want to argue about whether character x is morally good, bad, grey, pink or whatever. In my books, arguing about whether someone is or is not morally grey is like arguing whether a colour is green, blue, teal, or turquoise – we’re arguing definitions. To add to that, I’m not saying that concepts like ‘this person is overall good’ doesn’t exist, but I would posit that a morally unquestionable person does not exist. Secondly, I also don’t want to pass moral judgements on any of the characters. That’s for a different post. I strictly want to focus on the storytelling techniques that make the reader think ‘hang on a second, are they good or bad?’. Thirdly, this whole post is mainly based on How Arcane Writes MORAL AMBIGUITY (9 Methods, 4 Rules) - YouTube. Great video, great channel (no knowledge of Arcane required). Would recommend if you are interested in story writing techniques!
1) The information gap and the poor narrator
Best example is Shen Jiu from SVSSS. We barely know anything about Shen Jiu. Almost everything we know is from SQQ’s notoriously unreliable perspective, so we’re left to fill in the gaps ourselves. Depending on exactly how those gaps are filled, you can get two completely different people. E.g. Did he have designs of NYY, or was he just ridiculously misunderstood? Who knows! We’re never told. Even if we were told, we should doubt it because it’s SQQ telling us.
2) 4D characterisation
Schnee’s video goes into this in more details, but this is where you build two narratives on top of one another. Best example is Jin Guangyao from MDZS. Is he an underdog who did what he could out of his situation and tried his best to be a better person working for the good of the common people? Or is he a selfish, manipulative, ambitious snake who at every stage pretends to be good in order to win the favour of those around him? The point is that both narratives make sense in the story. There are moments that lean more one way or another, but you can never quite pin him down completely.
3) Moments of weakness
Best example is Xie Lian from TGCF. On the whole, XL is a wonderful human being who you 100% want to root for. Except… there was that one time he made a mistake. He let his hurt and pain overcome him; he became hurtful himself. The point here is to add in just a few ‘moments’ which fundamentally impacts how the rest of the world perceives them from that point forwards. They are forever trying to redeem themselves, forever weighed down by what is a tiny proportion of their life. The underlying question is ‘is a moment of weakness a moral failure?’
Another good example is Qi Rong from TGCF. On the whole, he’s a piece of s***. But then there are moments when he’s a genuinely good father to Guzi, and that’s confusing.
4) Well-intentioned idiot
Trying to do the right thing and absolutely failing. Best example is Wei Wuxian from MDZS. His intentions are always good. There are extremely few moments where he is selfish or overly cruel. He is always fighting for justice, always self-sacrificing, always kind. And yet the outcome of his actions is pretty bad. The underlying question is ‘should you judge a person based on their intent, or on the consequences of their actions?’
(btw the name of the method is from schnee’s video. No shade on WWX. He is very smart… well, unless it comes to LWJ’s feelings.)
5) Excuses
Yes, they’re bad. But we feel sorry for them! Almost everyone fits into this boat, because doesn’t MXTX love trauma dumping? As one example, let’s look at Jiang Cheng from MDZS. JC’s behaviour towards WWX is pretty bad on its own. But given the context of his childhood being compared to him, of having his self-esteem brutally crushed by both parents? Knowing how much he’s done and sacrificed for him, how much he truly cared for him as family? It hits different.
A small point: ‘excuses aren’t enough’ we say a lot (and I agree, to an extent). But compare, for example, Jin Guangshan vs Xue Yang. JGS seems to be a power-hungry asshole for absolutely no reason. On the other hand, put XY in different circumstances and we feel like he might have been a better person. Just as food for thought, there was a Japanese monk Honen (1133-1212) who said: ‘The good person can reach the Pure Land, so of course the evil person can as well’. The point being that the people who struggle with anger and hate because of their circumstances are most in need of salvation.
6) World building and presenting hard questions
What is acceptable sacrifice in war?
Is it okay to make a super dangerous weapon for the sake of deterrence?
How much personal responsibility does someone hold for a lifetime of circumstances pushing them towards a morally questionable path?
What are the responsibilities of a leader – to do what is right, or to do what is best for their people?
The world of MDZS is imperfect. It’s full of horrors and disasters, as well as a mob of outsiders all trying to impart their opinions despite knowing little about the situation. An imperfect world presents unanswerable questions. We see the characters struggle with these questions, come to decisions, and make mistakes, all naturally arising within the complex world that’s been presented.
TGCF does this most explicitly. We literally have Kemo and Pei Xiu arguing about the ethics of war and XL concluding that it’s a Hard Question. In fact, every backstory of every Heavenly Official presents a new Hard Question. I don’t know if I like this method over the more subtle style of MDZS, but I have Thoughts about the storytelling styles of both (long story short, I love them both for different reasons).
7) Worlds are colliding
A slightly complicated method that takes a huge amount of set up. To summarise, set up two arcs that we the reader both feel invested in. Then set up a point where the ‘good’ outcome of one is the ‘bad’ outcome of another. For MDZS, we have 1) JC and WWX’s brotherhood arc. 2) WWX standing up for justice arc. They’re both merrily developing all the way through the conflict with the Wens… right until the moment WWX has to make a choice: stand up for justice and leave JC behind, or to fulfil his promises to JC and turn a blind eye to the injustices against the Wens. The decision is a lose-lose scenario because of the way these arcs have been set up.
8) Spectrums, Spectrums, we love Spectrums
Gongyi Xiao is a cinnamon roll. As is Wen Ning and Quan Yizhen. Meanwhile, the Old Palace Master? Literally no redeeming qualities. Wen Chao? Absolute scum. Then there’s everyone lying somewhere in between. We like Lan Wangji more than JC (I think that seems to be the case for most people?) but we certainly like JC more than JGS. Having a spectrum of morality is important because it gives us reference points to contrast and compare. It also emphasises the moral greyness of everything, because sure, Mu Qing isn’t a noodle like Shi Qingxuan, but is he worse than White No Face?
9) Spectrums aren’t enough – adding depth
Almost all of WWX’s moral ambiguity comes from the fact he has hard decisions to make. And for each of these decisions, the outcome is murky. He developed a new technique to fight against the Wens, but at what cost later down the line? He defended the Wens and gave them a few years of life, but was it worth it?
Compare with JGY. JGY does a lot of good. He also does a lot of bad. The magnitude of both lists is ridiculous. Sure, you wouldn’t usually find someone who’s killed most of their family members in any way likable, but how often do you come across someone who literally ended a war?
So one way of creating moral ambiguity is to make each decision difficult, but another way to go about it is to just… make them do loads of things. Like loads of things. Good things, bad things, all the in between things. Judging each thing is not that hard, but then trying to judge the overall person based on it is extremely difficult.
10) Pulling from the real world
Often, moral questions in fiction is hard because (surprise, surprise) moral questions are just hard full stop. Idk enough Chinese history and culture to accurately pin down all of MXTX’s references, but things like stupid misunderstands leading to conflict, poverty and inequality, less than ideal family situations, the horrors of war… these are all things that happen irl. No matter how fantastical the setting, grounding moral conflicts in reality makes us feel more emotional and invested.
Anyway, I hope that was an enjoyable rundown! This is an imperfect list, so comments, criticisms, suggestions greatly appreciated!
#i cannot get over how good mdzs is#a moment of appreciation here#mxtx#mxtx meta#svsss#mdzs#tgcf#svsss meta#mdzs meta#tgcf meta
355 notes
·
View notes
Text
My Problem with SJM
I’ve been reading Sarah’s books for about 7 years now. There are things I genuinely love about them. I’m not going to sit here and trash every single thing about them or shit all over her as an author. Her books have brought me a lot enjoyment and credit is due where it’s due.
However, if you asked me, point blank, “What do you think of Sarah as an author?” I’d probably sit there on the verge of an aneurysm because I genuinely don’t know how to answer this question.
As much as I enjoy reading her books and genuinely love parts of them, I’ve been growing more frustrated with them over time. This kind of all came to a head in reading ACOFAS and ACOSF. I used to think that these were mostly isolated little incidents involving random different characters. I used to think it was about Chaol, or Tamlin, or Lucien, or Nesta. I’ve come to realize that it’s really not. It’s about Sarah herself and the bizarre way she has chosen to portray her characters.
Every single one of Sarah’s characters do bad things. ALL OF THEM. There is not a single significant character she has written in any book who has not done something shady, or morally gray, or wrong, or hurtful, or whatever. I seriously challenge you to try and find me a character who has not. This is completely normal and understandable!!! No one wants to read about a perfect and utterly flawless character. It makes them uninteresting and unrelatable. ALL good books should feature nuanced characters.
The issue I have is this: while every single character in her writing does bad things, only SOME characters are DEFINED by these bad things. No matter what else they do or say, they are deemed an irredeemable piece of shit who will never deserve anything good. Even if other characters aren’t openly hostile towards them anymore, the narrative will always find a way to subtly remind us all that these are “bad” people who did bad things to others. Any criticism they receive is justified and right. It does not matter how many good and/or heroic deeds are carried out by these characters. Often times these very characters will end up expressing how awful and unworthy they are, either internally or to other characters.
At the same time, there are other characters who do equally bad things (if not worse or significantly worse!!!!!) and have every single one blatantly ignored or explained and justified by the narrative or other characters. They are treated in the exact OPPOSITE way. No matter what they do, they are right. No matter how hypocritical, cruel, or just plain wrong they are, it will never ever be acknowledged by anyone. They will never be made to hold an ounce of responsibility for any of it. Other characters, themselves, and the narrative will turn an absolute blind eye to any wrongdoing and will gush and fawn over them instead.
This would be enough to be incredibly frustrating. But it doesn’t end here!!
Not only will these special select characters have every single blatant wrongdoing ignored, they will also walk around smugly judging the characters who are less fortunate (aka less favored by the author). Despite the majorly shady acts of their own, they will walk around highlighting all the bad things others have done while self-righteously proclaiming their own moral superiority. The narrative and the thoughts and words of other characters will support this. Sarah will beat you over the head with it. An opportunity will never be lost to tell us (not necessarily SHOW us) what a morally good person they are in comparison to someone else.
It honestly makes me feel kind of insane when I’m reading it. It makes me stop and sit there and wrack my brain going, “Does Sarah know she is doing this????” Does she realize she is a giant hypocrite of a writer?? Does she know she makes giant hypocrites of her characters?? It’s honestly hilarious to me because in writing the way she does, she takes the characters who she clearly wants me to adore and favor and makes me end up hating them and makes me end up rooting for the characters who she clearly wants me to dislike. I never liked Chaol until I read Queen of Shadows, when he is irrationally blamed for every one of Aelin’s problems. I was never really that invested in Lucien until he started to get shit on by absolutely everyone in the Inner Circle. I was never a Nesta stan until I read ACOSF, where she is bullied and mistreated by her “family” and gaslighted into thinking that they are right and she is deserving of all they say and do to her. I never had any true passionate feelings about Tamlin until he became a personal punching bag for every single character in ACOTAR, despite the majorly important good things he does that everyone ignores. It blows my mind how Sarah seems to fail to realize that the people walking around with a Holier-Than-Thou Attitude toward these people have a laundry list of majorly questionable actions of their own that never gets addressed.
In short, Sarah essentially self-sabotages as an author and I don’t understand it. You wouldn’t see me and tons of other people posting essays with word counts in the thousands defending the actions of certain characters so strongly and passionately if her little favorites were made to hold even the tiniest bit of accountability over their own wrongdoings and weren’t crapping all over the less favored. It makes her faves come across as the stereotypical “favorite child” in a family who everyone secretly resents and rolls their eyes at. If you’re going to have characters who constantly judge and scorn others for their perceived wrongdoings, it would be smart to give them a spotless and crystal clear record themselves. People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
No one enjoys reading about hypocrites, Sarah. Gain some self awareness and start holding ALL characters to the same standards and accountability.
#sarah j maas#sjm#sjm critical#tog#throne of glass#acotar#acomaf#acowar#acofas#acosf#chaol westfall#tower of dawn#nesta archeron#pro nesta#lucien vanserra#pro lucien#tamlin#anti ic#anti feysand
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
William Rex Main Story: Preview
I do not own any of the Ikemen Series content being uploaded on this blog, everything belongs to CYBIRD. Please support them by playing their games and buying stories. Not 100% accurate, expect mistakes.
read this before interacting with my posts
My sin — was a spoonful of poison.
William: You have to record down all my sins because you’re a fairytale writer—
William: If you want to judge me for my sins, then stab me with this knife.
William: Only then, I’ll accept your judgment.
— William Rex. The wicked, “King of Self-Righteousness”.
He had a melodious whispering voice that drove me crazy.
…
William: You have a habit of prioritizing other people's feelings, and you hide your own feelings deep down in your heart.
William: I don't think this is because I was the main culprit of the murder incident.
William: … Why are you hiding?
(“Why”...? I don't know… why.)
(But… it’s just that I…)
(I don't think I should voice my feelings out loud.)
…
His bright red eyes stared straight into my heart and lured out my deepest desires.
The feelings I buried deep down inside my heart even suffocated me in my sleep.
Wiliam: So you want to play games with me…
William: You’ve got some nerve, huh? Kate.
William: My eyes never deceive me.
William: You’re noble, you’re greedy… you're kind, and you're strong.
…
His love was neither medicine nor a poison, and it poured down like the rain in springtime.
A heart that had been locked away, was once again set free.
“Falling in love is a dangerous thing” — and I knew that.
My heart that was close to being torn open always longed for him… it was impossible to stop.
Kate: W-Whenever I’m with you… I… I feel like I’m not myself…
Kate: I… I’m not the type of person to do something like… this…
William: … Do you mean that as a good or bad thing?
Kate: … I don't know. Therefore…
Kate: Because I still… don't know… please tell me.
Feeling him with my eyes, ears, and skin… my heart was changed completely. As if I was reborn.
His “evil” and “destiny” — his true colors were shoved in my face.
…
(This is his sin. This is the price he has to pay in order to protect the people he loves.)
(Up till now, William has committed this sin many… many… times.)
William: It doesn't matter what the reason was. There is no way to justify taking a person’s life. By taking away someone’s life, you are disrespecting their dignity and permanently taking away their freedom.
William: A sin is a sin.
Wavering between good and evil, the feeling of hesitation made my legs tremble.
…
Kate: Does this mean… you want to die in such a way that… makes you fear of being destroyed…?
William: Hm? Ah, yes. You could put it that way.
William: I want it to be as cruel as how evil I’m judged to be.
William: Being evil is my life, and I will continue to be however big of a villain I want to be.
William: Until the day comes to have my head cut off.
He was an “evil” man — who desired the most tragic of deaths.
…
Even when I disregarded my lingering affections and carried on with my daily life… what awaited me was not a happy ending.
As if mocking my suffering, doom came creeping up to me…
He let me go so easily — it was a selfish and cruel act of kindness.
William: Goodbye, Little Robin.
William: I wish for your future to be filled with happiness.
Kate: I don't want you to wish for that… William, wait…!!
…
There is a blade called “justice” that destroys “evil”.
It would be absolutely foolish to stand before that blade.
…
And yet—
(If I call William evil and thrust that blade at him,)
(Whether he’s good or evil, or is this the kind of ending he wants — I…)
William: — My Robin. Respond to my curtain call.
William: When you wake up— I’ll give you my greatest evil (love).
Yes. I want it —
— The punishment for my sin of loving evil.
#ikemen villains#ikemen series#cybird ikemen#cybird otome#otome#ikevil main story#william main story
107 notes
·
View notes
Text
So I was thinking to myself about a lot of things and
I miss when content creators were just that. People who created content. When there were no (or at least less) huge controversies and huge reveals of “turns out one of your favourite internet people is secretly a terrible person!”. I miss when I could watch/read/listen to/enjoy the content I like without feeling bad for liking it. I miss when I could watch people’s channels and be subscribed/following/whatever without being criticised. I miss when we could just be happy to like what we like.
And even with all this, I still try. I want to enjoy my content in the same way I used to, without anxiety and fear of constant judgement and hatred following me. I’ve had to learn how to separate the art from the artist quickly, lest I shut myself off from it entirely or become a stan for someone who doesn’t deserve my energy.
But it’s hard. Many of the creators I once loved are either terrible, still friends with the terrible people, creating entirely different content from what I used to enjoy from them (I’m glad they moved on to something they’re happier with btw, I just miss their old content), or dead. The people around me cringe at the mention of many of their channels/names, making it difficult to say even so much as “I used to like this” without being harshly judged and criticised.
All in all, I think it’s important to understand that you shouldn’t be cruel to someone who likes something with a problematic creator. New controversy about an influencer you like doesn’t mean you’re terrible for liking them. And definitely don’t believe that you either have to support them completely or shut yourself off from their content.
Don’t bully people about their likes or dislikes. If you don’t agree, then accept you have differing opinions. If you don’t understand, ask them about it before condemning them to your judgement.
#mcyt#fandom#iykyk#I just wanted to get this off my chest#i hope people get this#I hope they understand#feel free to add on#this is something I think we should all discuss
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
hey i’m the anon who asked ab the kink. completely agree w what you said. kinda shocks me how a game that’s been out for almost a decade still has ppl mischaracterizing a lot of characters.
like i had someone genuinely provide an explanation on how zen would body shame you, jumin would pressure you into being perfect and would overall be abusive, yoosung would deny you of your autonomy and force you to act like rika, seven would be very verbally abusive and neglectful and saeran would be emotionally, verbally and physically abusive. (all of their hcs take place post-after endings)
funny enough, they didn’t mention v which is surprising considering how much v slander i see
Can y'all even read the media you're consuming? Haha, I don't want to sound mean but there are definitely times when I've come across someone's perception of the Mystic Messenger characters where it's clear they want to present something as 100% canon to the Good Ending timelines—
When, in truth, it's just a byproduct of the Bad Endings where most of the choices you make are deliberately toxic and spurn the worst of the worst. You have to actively click toxic responses to get a lot of the Bad Endings like the ones you just described. Jumin's notorious Bad Ending? You are actively feeding into his paranoia and supporting the feelings he has, while also indulging in the toxicity as well.
That's not who Jumin is at his best and to put it in his Good Ending is an absolute disservice to his character. Listen, if you want an ending where Jumin indulges in BDSM, then you can have it. You can imagine it in the good ending where there is nothing but consent and respect to consent. You don't have to have it in a toxic ending where it is not indicative of a healthy relationship. It's one thing if you want to play around in a bad ending because sometimes that's interesting, but it's another thing to act like those qualities in the bad ending are canon to a good ending.
If you see someone utter the words: "Zen would body shame you" let me know where they're at because who the fuck do you think Hyun Ryu is?
That is a character who has struggled with body insecurities his entire life and he would never belittle another person. He knows what it feels like to be on the receiving end of people judging you just because of the way you look and he would never want to make another person feel that way.
Just because he likes to overcompensate from his insecurities by telling himself that he's beautiful doesn't mean that he's a narcissist who's full of himself. Language has power, and if you call yourself trash, you're eventually going to believe you’re trash. I'm not saying you have to call yourself beautiful everyday, but keep in mind that you can manifest what you feel just by repeating it over and over again.
Ah, yes, people who whine and cry about Seven being mean to them in the apartment. The people who want him to wear his jokester mask until the end of time. The people who cannot understand that he is having an existential crisis, and that doesn't excuse his actions mind you, but they don't want him to be who he truly is, they want him to continue to pretend.
I have seen so many people talk about the time in the apartment and the fact is simple. They don’t get it or even try to get it. Saeyoung was lied to. The promise he threw his life away to protect his baby brother was a lie, and his brother is suffering, and his sacrifice was for nothing.
Not only that, he is afraid that if you get close to him, you might suffer the same fate and he knows he can't stomach that twice. His actions in the apartment aren't healthy, that's right, but if you really look at him, you can tell but his actions are alive from the very beginning, and he can't even remain cruel to you because you make him want to live. If you treat him like a toy who only appeases you, then you're going to get the Bad Ending.
Don't get me started on Saeran.
Please don't get me started because I’ve talked about it a hundred times. I have to say this because some people lack media literacy these days, just because I can explain why Ray and Suit Saeran did what they did doesn’t mean it excuses those actions. There is no excuse for what Ray did or what Suit Saeran did. Suit Saeran tells you directly that even if he intended to hurt himself, he hurt you and Ray in the process, and he has to own that fact.
Ray realized he was wrong to lie to you, and he tried to right his wrong by making a fake elixir and lying to the Savior to protect you from what he brought you into. They carry those damn actions they committed like an anchor, and you don’t have to accept the apology GE Saeran gives you.
GE Saeran doesn’t forgive himself until the very end of his After Ending. Because, it doesn't matter if you forgive him for what he's done, he can't forgive himself for what he's done, and a part of the reason why he ends up for giving the people who hurt him has to do with forgiving himself.
In his heart, he knew that he no longer wanted to choose anger and pain, and to forgive himself, he knew he needed to forgive those who hurt him so that he could live his life without carrying that anger. He doesn't want to be angry anymore, he wants to live a life of happiness and peace.
Honestly, I think since most people don't like V or Rika, they don't bother to create stories that romanticize the unhealthy aspects of their characters, or the qualities that play into the Bad Endings. For V fans, it's hard enough to enjoy him when people want to tear him apart, but at least, they seem to be free from horrid mischaracterization in this regard.
Let's see, that "Act like Rika" Ending? You did that to him! You kept reinforcing the similarities with yourself and Rika until he started to believe the delusions! You're the one who prompted that situation. You choose those actions. The RFA wanted to stop you from doing that to Yoosung! That is a Bad Ending! It's a Bad Ending because Bad Things Happen!
That's the point! Those Bad Endings variables don't effect Good Ending because to achieve a Good Ending, you have to actively choose healthy options and help not only yourself but the character you love get to a point where they can open their eyes to the what they're going through and work to be better, not just for the people they love, but for themselves!
...You know what, I don't think I've ever seen someone do this Jaehee. The worst I've seen about Jaehee from the start is someone whining about her being passionate about Zen? I don't think I've seen anyone mischaracterize her romantically, she might actually be safe from this shit.
#discourse#ask#anon#mod kait#i stay in my little bubble here on tumblr where its safe from this kind of mischaracterization i swear to god
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
In love, once.
He’s standing right in front of him right now, after so long he cannot remember the last time they saw each other eye to eye. The boy he once loved so much is looking at him and he feels the air around him vanishing, the memories haunting him like he’s fifteen again, like he’s there, in the middle of the court hearing him say he did not love him, say he lied, say it was never real to begin with.
“Thank you for agreeing to meet me here today, Shintarou”, Akashi finally speaks, breaking the horrendous silence between them. “I was not sure you would”, it’s a confession, he knows, that should not be taken lightly, but at this point he can’t really believe anything he says.
“Did I have a choice?”, he asks, and the other laughs softly. “What do you want to talk about, Akashi? I don’t have too much time, Kazu is waiting for me”.
Kazu, of course. Kazu said with a softness that never belonged to him. Kazu said lovingly, carefully. Kazu, not Sei, not anymore.
“Of course, I understand”, the boy nods. “I wanted…I mean, I know we did not end things on the best terms”.
“We? I don’t think we did anything”, he says in an accusatory tone.
“Yes, you are right”, Seijurou admits, trying to keep things as civil as he can. “I did not end things on the best terms. I wanted to talk about that because, as you know, you are very important to me”, he sighs, asphyxiated. “And I know what I did, the things I said, were…cruel, but I must assure you they were not true”.
“What is the point of this?”, Shintarou asks, not confused, but certainly a little bit lost. After all, this is a part of Akashi he didn’t know; from the regret in his voice to the way he’s standing, he barely recognizes the person in front of him. “It’s been long enough, and you know I’m not a person that holds to old grudges”.
“Yes, I see you…walked it off quite quickly”, he regrets it as soon as he says it.
“Seriously?”, the tone is no longer accusatory, because he knows he doesn’t mean he healed the wounds or easily understood he was sick and didn’t really mean what he said. Akashi is talking about Takao. He’s talking about how fast he got replaced, how quickly Takao put his mischievous hands on Midorima’s heart. “You broke up with me, Akashi. You did that, not me. I had all the right to put my life back together and build something good, something better for myself”.
“I know”.
“No, I don’t think you do”, he shakes his head. “I think you truly believe I’m the bad one”.
“I do not think that, Shintarou”.
“Then why are you looking at me like that?”Akashi doesn’t know what look he has on his face, or how deformed his expression is. “Why are you looking at me like I’m the one to blame for what happened?”
“I’m not trying to”.
“You have no right to judge me for moving on”, Midorima doesn’t mean to sound as furious as he does, but there is a part of him that simply can’t stand the idea of Akashi turning things around to his advantage.
“I don’t”, he says quickly. “I don’t, I swear. Shintarou, I regret what I did. It haunts me terribly to know that I hurt you in the way I did, but I was sick, out of myself. You must know I was lying”.
“How could I possibly believe you now?”, the shooter almost yells. “You were my best friend and suddenly everything was a…everything was an act to control me, to keep me in line”.
“It wasn’t”.
“You said it was”.
“Shintarou, you are my best friend”, Akashi is almost begging, but Midorima is too angry to hear that in his voice. “We were real. We meant something. It was never an act. You must know that. You must understand me…”
“Listen”, he tries to calm himself down. “I know you didn’t mean to say the things you said, I understand why you did the things you did, and you know that if I’m here…it's because I care about you. You are, sadly, one of my best friends and I have no intention to lose that, but you can’t expect me to not…”, he can’t breathe. “You told me you never loved me, Akashi. You stood there, in front of all the people that matter to me, and told me you didn’t love me, that it was never…real, that I meant nothing to you. And sometimes…sometimes I look at you and that’s all I see”.
“I did love you”. I do love you. “I am not asking you to forgive me, or to understand. I am not resentful of your relationship with Takao. I am glad you are not alone”.
“You left me”.
“I know”.
“You left me, and I didn’t know what to do”
“I’m sorry”.
“YOU HUMILIATED ME. IN FRONT OF ALL OF OUR FUCKING FRIENDS”, he yells. “YOU LET THEM SEE AS YOU RIPPED APART EVERYTHING WE WERE. YOU EXPOSED ME AS A STUPID, RIDICULOUS IDIOT WHO WAS DUMB ENOUGH TO BELIEVE I MEANT SOMETHING TO YOU”.
There is no way to defend himself from what Midorima is saying. He has no excuses to give him, no answers he can offer for him to be forced to forgive him for the things he did and said back then. It’s not fair, he knows, for him to ask what he’s asking right now, he threw knives back then that Shintarou didn’t know were coming, he set on fire their entire relationship, Every kiss, every touch, every night talking on the phone for hours; nothing matter by the time Akashi finished talking that day.
And Midorima is standing here now simply because he’s a good person, a good friend; he’s talking to him, giving him a chance to explain, because he’s not the type of boy to not give second chances to the people he loves. Seijurou knows he loves him still, maybe not like he did before, maybe not in love but must certainly as a friend.
“I’m sorry”.
“I know”, he finally sighs. “I know you are, Akashi”.
“I can’t thank you enough for giving me another chance, an opportunity to…not fix, but rebuild what we were”.
“We are never going to be what we were back then”, Shintarou clarifies rapidly. “That’s over”.
“I didn’t mean it like that”, Akashi shakes his head. “I meant all of you. The whole team has been more than understanding with me. All of you have allowed me back into your lives with little to no questions asked, and I am forever thankful for it”.
“We are your friends, Akashi. Why wouldn’t we?”.
Friends.
Yes. Friends. Nothing more. He made sure of that.
#knb#knb headcanon#kuroko no basket#knb headcanons#generation of miracles#gom#midorima shintarou#akashi seijurou#fanfic#akamido fanfic#past akamido#akamido
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
okay so i just finished IWTV....... oh my god!!! oh my god. it's embarrassing how insane this book made me. for the last 50 pages or so i was regularly taking breaks to run laps around my apartment like a lunatic because i physically could not handle all the pain and angst and despair coursing through my body LOL. i got so immersed in the story i forgot pretty much all of the background for armand you'd given me (and i can't remember most of it even now!!! my mind is in shambles) and still, very organically...... he became my favorite. even despite all of the. you know. and maybe even more so BECAUSE of it. i've just never witnessed an evil so heartbreaking!!!!!!!!!!? THE ABSOLUTE DEVOTION?????? DERANGED AND UGLY AND UTTERLY BEYOND REASON????!!!! FUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!! i'm sorry for vomiting all over your inbox i genuinely cannot conjure up any resemblance of coherence atm!!! THANK YOU FOR POINTING ME TOWARDS SUCH LUXURIOUS PAIN i LOVE it i want MORE! <3 <3 <3
oh my god OH MY GOd ,... omg... 🥹🥹
WELCOME WELCOME YES THIS HOW I FEEL EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE I WISH I KNEW WHERE TO EVEN START
(I really feel like just answering with this meme and not subjecting you to a wall of text but I'LL TRY !!!)
GOD LIKE WHAT THIS BOOK DOES SO SO WELL AS LIKE IMMEDIATELY GROUND FLOOR OF THE SERIES LETS US ALL KNOW THAT ALL CHARACTERS COMMIT EVILS AND ARE NOT GREAT PEOPLE BUT THEY ALL WANT TO BE LOVED AND ARE TRYING LOL.
LIKE LOUIS MOVES FROM ABUSIVE PARTNER TO ABUSIVE PARTNER UNTIL HE’S FINALLY SO DEAD INSIDE THAT HE CAN BE BY HIMSELF AND WALK AWAY.
AND LIKE IT’S SO HARD BECAUSE YOU SEE HOW CLAUDIA FREED HIM FROM LESTAT, AND THEN ARMAND FREES HIM FROM CLAUDIA. AND SOMETHING THAT ALWAYS FUCKS ME UP SO BAD IS THAT ARMAND HAS SUCH A SKEWED MAP OF APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR BUT HE’S NOT EVIL. HE’S TRYING HIS BEST, IN THE BEST WAY HE KNOWS HOW.
Wait hang on I’ll take caps off I’m so sorry lmfao I’m just really worked up.
I think there’s a sort of meme-ier version of this like Armand going “hi 🙂 I killed your daughter 🙂 you can kill all my friends if you want 🙂 I won’t stop you 🙂 do you like me? 🙂"
But it’s actually SO TRAGIC god. Like I read IWTV as a story about domestic abuse and the family cycle, personally, and I see Claudia as an Oedipal figure. Louis is unable to get away from Lestat until Claudia makes it happen, and Claudia winds up being so cold and cruel and he’s stuck with her until Armand frees him. And there’s a lot of conversation about like, Armand being manipulative or what he did to CREATE this, how did he push them both where he wanted them, etc, but the thing that gets me is that when Louis wants to break up, Armand lets him leave.
And like SKIP WHAT I’M ABOUT TO SAY IF YOU DONT WANT A SPOILER BUT LIKE I DID MENTION THIS IN MY OTHER POST —— but if you read Lestat’s book and get the background on how he and Armand met, it’s sort of the opposite where Lestat destroys Armand’s coven and Armand is so devastated about it, vs 100 years later he ALLOWS Louis to destroy a coven. AND HE GETS THE GUY!!!! In TVL he like BEGS Lestat to be with him and Lestat isn’t interested lol but he gets to keep Louis this time.
IDK IDK IM JUST REAL EMOTIONAL.
And like !!!!!!!! God idk. If you read more of the books you get so many indications about how people in Armand’s life don’t respect him, and a lot of times people write him off because he looks like a teenager. They don’t take the danger of him seriously, which makes him even more dangerous. But it’s so heartbreaking reading IWTV and seeing how Louis respects him so much, and sees him as wise and calm, and needs him!
And like maybe Louis is uniquely qualified to not judge people for looking like children because he has spent the last 90 years with a vampire child and respects her as an adult, you know?
If you keep reading you’ll see how much Anne Rice like retcons or how much the continuity flops around so like EVERY book will have a Doylist vs Watsonian conversation like, she never comes out and says that Armand looks like he’s 17 in IWTV and in the later books it’s a huge point every time he’s on the page just HE’S SHORT HE’S 17 HE LOOKS LIKE A CHERUB etc and maybe that’s because she hadn’t decided that yet but also maybe Louis is the only person who fucking respects him. :)
#im DEVASTATED HELLO#i'm sad about armand again good morning!#armand's trauma hole#trauma hole theory#vampire chronicles#interview with the vampire#armand/louis#deep ass thoughts about vampires
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Seen a lot of arguments about whether or not it was in character for c!Tommy to attempt to reach out to c!Dream in the finale, but not a lot about how OOC it felt for Dream to respond the way he did?
Like. I’m upset about how Tommy’s character was handled for a variety of reasons but judging the stream purely by ‘do the characters act in ways that feel realistic based on how they’ve previously been characterized’ I actually think c!Dream was done far dirtier.
C!Dream is genuinely one of my favorite characters. He makes for a terrifying villain while also feeling deeply human, (and I really don’t think we needed a sympathetic flashback to further humanize him, but that’s a different topic) he’s cruel and controlling and deeply self-centered, but at the same time he craves connection to others while refusing to admit to feeling any sort of attachment out of fear.
C!Dream has always struck me as a character Deeply Afraid of vulnerability. Deeply afraid of Losing Control. I’ve seen posts floating around about how Dream’s planning relies much more heavily on improvisation and luck then he admits, and this is for a reason! Dream doesn’t want to say that he messed up, or that something went wrong, instead he’d much rather say that he was sabotaged (usually by c!tommy) or that This Was Totally the Plan All Along Guys.
It makes perfect sense for Dream to act like this! He was always a competitive and prideful person, even before Shit Got Bad, so when he (and the server more broadly) started taking things farther and farther, committing acts that he likely would have considered Too Far in the past, he responded by by digging his heals in. Because This Was Totally the Plan All Along Guys. If nothing else, c!Dream is a goddamn master of Committing To The Bit.
It’s what gives his character it’s tragedy. Because he would truly be happier just hanging out with his friends. But in the end, /he’s/ the one who cuts them off, not because of anything Tommy or anyone else did, but because he was scared that keeping them around would make him vulnerable. He becomes so blinded by his stubborn attachment (heh) to his own plans and power and this idea of godhood that not only does he ruin the lives of those around him, he ruins his /own/ life too.
And you’re telling me. That Dream, the same Dream that has tortured and abused multiple people, who has gotten /himself/ tortured and jailed, who cut off his friendships, ruined his own reputation on purpose and literally /died/ multiple times all in service of a plan that /he could’ve abandoned himself at multiple points/, That Dream, suddenly decides he gonna call it all off after a 15 minute conversation? Really?
And to be clear, I’m not saying that it feels unrealistic for Dream to regret his actions. In fact, I think it’s likely a part of him has regretted them since he started doing them. But Dream’s reaction to things going wrong has always been to either deflect or dig his heels in. To convince himself that it’s worth it. And above all, to never show Anyone that regret, because that would mean being vulnerable.
C!Tommy ‘understanding his motives’ wouldn’t make c!Dream happy or willing to listen to him, in fact it feels more in line with his character for him to be deeply angered and disturbed by this. There’s no way I can believe that c!Dream would want anyone, much less c!tommy, seeing what he likely considers to be deeply personal memories. C!Dream may want to be understood deep down, but that desire is overwhelmed by his crushing fear of being known. It’s why he cut off c!george and c!Sapnap in the first place, and why he’s dodgy in acknowledging c!Punz as more than just an ally. To c!dream, being understood means being hurt. It means giving someone else control over you.
And maybe c!Dream could overcome this, could realize he was only hurting himself and everyone around him, could realize that /this wasn’t really what he wanted/ but not in 15 goddamn minutes. Not when, from his perspective, his plan had finally come to fruition and he was in a position to obtain Goddamn Immortality. The Only Reason c!Dream was written to have such a quick turn around was because cc!Dream wanted to soften his character at the last second, despite his entire arc before this being built on him essentially sunk-cost-fallacying himself into self destructing and dragging everyone down with him.
Justice for c!Dream. In my heart of hearts you died drunk on your own hubris attempting to become an immortal death god.
#dsmp#dsmp meta#c!dream#dsmp finale#dsmp neg#I see c!Dream apologists celebrating this ending and I. cannot understand why#not even from my own bias perception of just not wanting a c!Dream redemption arc at all#but just like. if I had been hoping for a c!Dream redemption arc or for him to be portrayed sympathetically#likely for years#and this was what I got?#id be insulted#there’s no development#it doesn’t feel earned or in character#and three seconds later it’s all undone by amnesia anyway#it’s not even c!dreams choice#it only happens bc of what c!tommy sees in limbo#like#this is really what you guys wanted?#long post
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
I remember one of the most influential moments I had on my body image while living in Japan.
One Saturday afternoon, my Japanese coworker and I went out to lunch, and as we left the buffet, stuffed to satisfaction, she said, “I shouldn’t have eaten so much. I’m already the fat one in my family.”
I was distracted thinking about something else, and I thought she was joking, so I made a noncommittal kind of noise. I’d only been in Japan for half a year at that point, and I was already tired of the extensive fat-shaming almost everyone took part in, so I just disconnected whenever it started.
Then I glanced at her and realized she was serious. She had a self-deprecating half-smile, and she didn’t seem to be setting me up for one of those, “No, but you’re so pretty,” responses. She was just stating a fact. This person, who probably couldn’t have pinched more than a pinky’s width of fat anywhere on her body, was ashamed of her size.
Meanwhile, I was twenty-three and deeply, profoundly hated my body. Back then, I would have given most anything to be her size.
And in that moment, I realized: it’ll never be enough.
No matter how petite, how skinny, how svelte, how toned, how whatever. The societies many of us live in profit off of the desperation of mass misery, and no amount of dieting would ever give me a pass from that misery. If I was thin, there’d be some other issue to “fix”, like “weird elbows” or something else that I haven’t even thought about because no one’s had the opportunity to tell me how much it costs to adjust it yet.
I realized in a mall on a Saturday that the joy I’d been chasing had to come from disengaging from the whole chase, not from changing my body.
And I mean, I’m not totally there yet, even over a decade later. It’s difficult to love what you’re repeatedly told is wrong about yourself, and I hated my body for much longer than I’ve been actively trying to love it. I cling to offhand compliments about my looks, and I feel a twinge of guilt whenever I enjoy the “wrong” foods, and I fantasize about how much easier or happier life would be if I looked the way my coworker looked then.
But at least I know to my core that it will never be enough for them. No size, no shape, no degree of perfection will ever be enough for the societies and cultures I’ve lived in that judge one’s morality by one’s body. Relatives of mine in the States over the holidays tortured themselves with “I was being so good so far” and “I’m going to be bad tonight” and it’s just so pointlessly cruel that we’re set up to think this way about ourselves.
I made a lemon-glaze cake over the holidays, and almost no one ate it because so many people were dieting.
I did, though.
I just love the irony that living in a culture so rigid about weight actually freed me somewhat from the chase for an impossible goal. I bought diet pills as a teenager, and I couldn’t believe as recently as last week that a woman I was attracted to was hitting on me, but at least I know I’m in this snow globe now, and it makes breaking out of it easier.
Since university, I’ve been committed to exercising to gain muscle because I wanted to lose weight. But now I do it mainly because I like the strength and the flexibility that comes along with it. My weight’s never hurt me or my immune system or any aspect of my life. My brain did that, and my brain was just reacting to a lifetime of fear-mongering.
It will never be enough until you disengage from the chase.
#this is somewhat about sammy’s ig post but it’s been on my mind for years#the beauty standards in asia hurt so many people#relentlessly#i’m a strong supporter of plastic surgery and body modification in general#if you’re an adult you get to have agency over your body and your life#you should be able to get tattoos or piercings or breast reductions or whatever you want to feel comfortable in your skin#but when that desire comes from a place of shame that you were forced to live with#then it’s cruel#this isn’t really about sammy#i just feel sad for the young fans who look like sammy and admired her for being someone famous and charismatic who looked like them#the entertainment industry can be so impersonal and merciless
27 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi, would you mind clarifying on your “you have a cop living in your head” post? I’m not entirely sure what it’s referring to
this is the post, for anyone who hasn't seen it
I clarified a little in the second ask here (first one is for context)
and I've made literally countless posts about this, but I don't got every link to hand because most of them are quite old, since shit lately hasn't exactly been prime "make a big long essay" feelings
there's a post somewhere, from back when the kanye/alex jones started, and I criticised the "I'm bipolar and I don't do that, so it's clearly him being Transcendentally Bad and not symptoms", as if nobody has ever gone off the fucking rails in a manic episode, lol
there's also some rants about it specifically regarding the "call all youtuber out for everything all the time and harass them, keep it escalating and escalating, demand whatever you want and when that's done, demand more" attitude people have, how egotistical thinking you're judge, jury, and executioner is, how it hinders the actual act of growth, etc. and I've said the same about prison, or vigilante justice, or so forth. as I said recently in a reblog of this:
really "it doesn't help the victim in any tangible sense to balance imaginary moral scales by causing more harm, the victim needs mental/social help, as does the perpetrator", it only hurts more.
you are not their personal mental health expert. you are not their doctor. you are not their therapist. it's just not your job to involve yourself in their growth or demand they do it your way. some ass hurt your feelings online, grow up, block them, leave it alone. the simple fact is that harassing people helps nobody, it's just smug superiority complex bullshit. and while you can have standards if friends/family upset you for when you'll forgive them, that is not morally binding, they don't owe you those things, they owe you a fucking big fat nothing, there is no karma debt to be repaid, and wishing suffering upon them to repay it is a dick move. so that is generally my stance, oversimplified somewhat to make it easier.
then re that post specifically, I saw someone talking about being completely in the throws of a mental breakdown, for depression, upsetting people around you, getting help, and that not being an adequate "fix", in fact there's no "fix", and the guilt should just be eternal from the sounds of things. that's depression. ever-lasting guilt is actually a manifestation of depression. you are not doing literally anything to help depressed people if you tell them to feel things like that forever. they preach about accountability, all this flowery bullshit about owning up to things, about not using such illnesses as an excuse, about how they're ill but they don't do the things someone else did- it's a progressive way of saying the old bootstraps bullshit, with an added dose of catholic guilt, and the rozzers living inside your skull. you're policing yourself to absurd degrees. you're using it to justify the unhealthy and cruel things.
frankly, you will do bad things sometimes because you're human people, and you'll do them because of mental health issues, and there's no fucking way you should endure endless guilt, because some edgy alt chick pretending to be a goth wants a progressive excuse to be a bitchy bully, or some braindead guy wants to look smart on the youtubes and win twitter's favour. those sentences mean nothing, they're excuses to hold things over people- a way people put words in your mouth, pretending that daring to start explaining yourself without bending over to get fucked up first is actually you "refusing to take accountability", from the authority they've decided they have to dish it out. it's egotistical jargon. or simply a cop living in their head. just because you don't do those things, your symptoms don't manifest like that, you respond in a different way to those circumstances, etc, doesn't mean another person is Fundamentally Evil, bodies respond differently to stuff. there's no reason to believe your experiences are universal. but it especially isn't very fucking leftist to call people intrinsically evil.
accountability culture is just people, who understand the prison industrial complex is wrong, being unable to understand that it's given them propaganda brainworms that they need to unpack, a problem with their worldview, and instead they've clung onto all these warped perceptions and tried to stuff them into a new shit worldview, that hyperfocuses on overly-moralising, and whether somebody is a victim or a perpetrator, black and white, and it all comes packaged with a perfect excuse to be this sanctimonious bully, to boost your own ego, and to judge others. it's fucked up.
that's why it's a cop in your head, it's literally coming from them.
#this is very messily worded#and like this isn't anti-criticism#you can bitch about stuff you don't like I do it all the damn time#but once you start with this preachy harassing bullshit you suck
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi I just wanted to say I have no connection to either side of this war and it’s awful what is happening to both sides and judging by your posts you do have a personal connection to this (? Correct me if I’m wrong pls!) I’ll be honest and say I’ve filtered tags and phrases to do with everything bc quite honestly I don’t understand all the fine, complicated details and also I come to tumblr to chill and not constantly see all this pain but I understand how that isn’t as easy to do for others who are more connected with this. I’m absolutely all for free Palestine what they’ve endured is awful and of course anyone with one brain cell can understand there’s a difference between the innocent civilians and the actual terrorists/government making this worse. Same for Israel. There’s tons of innocent civilians who have done nothing wrong but be part of a generation born in Israel and again the Israeli government is not its innocent people. To me personally, I read Noah’s post as one of frustration that what is being lost here is the innocent lives being taken. He has family and friends there and it’s people of his faith who are being murdered - ofc he’s going to be upset and worried. I also personally didn’t read it as him calling all Palestinians terrorists.. he differentiates between the innocent and the not. To me he wants peace on both sides and probably would express that more clearly if given another opportunity. I do agree what he said could have been more clear and I hope he does express himself clearer in future. Like I said to me it sounded like he was mad that ppl were being so cruel over an innocent woman who lost her life (who he possibly knew). I do feel like perhaps he should’ve stayed more silent or just thought about things more before just posting stories constantly but in that respect I can’t say I blame him for being upset that his people are being killed. Some of what he’s said to me does come across a little… brainwashy(?) though.. like he’s young and impressionable and maybe his trip to israel to learn about his culture (which he’s allowed to do!) right before this all happened hasn’t helped just how pro-israel no matter what he comes across.
It’s actually so interesting to see both sides being discussed on here bc I have mutuals who are against Noah and those who are for him bc they themselves are Jewish and seeing all the anti-Semitic things that are being said to him… it just goes to show (to me anyway) how complicated and tricky this is. And as someone who isn’t connected to this personally at all will never truly understand.
Anyway if you read this far thank you for reading my ramblings! This was never intended to be a dig at you and if it’s come across that way I truly apologise, I thought you just seemed like someone who would be mature enough to express this thought to!
I honestly don't believe he has bad intentions but it is the impact that matters most. A couple of contradicting statements in what he said. I do think it was worded poorly. You cannot truly support Palestinians if you stand with their terrorists(Israel). The very statement of him saying "stand with Israel or stand with terrorism" is offensively stupid. Perhaps he doesn't believe that all Palestinians are terrorists but you know who might? The Israeli government. That retorhic has been used in American history before such as the aftermath of pearl harbor and post 9/11. What do those things have common? They both led to people being racist to Japanese people and Muslims. To the point where Japanese people were put into internment camps and all Muslims were viewed as terrorists. You think Israel is going to clear up that when they say terrorists they mean hamas or Palestinians in general? When they don't even allow them to return to the land that belongs to them. They don't see Palestinians as human. So yeah people will interpret it as him saying "all Palestinians are terrorists"
I can try and sympathize with his stance on Israel as it's such a close subject to him but there's a lack of care and urgency that he and many celebrities who have spoken in support of Israel show to Palestinians. I do think it's brainwash because there's propaganda coming from Israel that gets played all over news/media. You got people claiming anyone who supports free Palestine is Anti-Semitic which is not the case. You have people believing all Palestinians are in support of hamas. Everyone gets to say their versions of events but Palestinians are struggling to even get their stories out with the cut off of their electricity. They are the ones who have been suffering for years under oppression but you didn't see celebrities chiming in by the masses like now. It's scary how easy they will turn a blind eye to the crimes and treatment Palestinians have faced. It's scary because they support the oppressor since they see stories of innocent people dying but where is that same empathy for all the thousands of Palestinians who die? It's all very selective.
People want to play like there's a way to end this peacefully when the reality is Palestinians have tried doing that to no avail. It's dangerous to take the side of pascifism when you look at the power imbalance between Israel and Hamas. At the end of the day Palestinians with no help from anyone will still be under the occupation of Israeli forces and they will continue to be dehumanized and killed. This to me isn't tricky even without a personal connection. No one should be complicit of this treatment of any human and that's something to be concise about.
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello Veronika! How are you doing? I hope you’re great.
I’d like to learn about my progressed sun if the slots are not full yet.
My progress sun degree: Libra 7’32 (natal 10th house)
Thank you for your time. I’m so excited to learn more about degrees, can’t wait for your new posts!
Have a great day ☀️
Hey, Raven! *I really like that name/word, hope you don't mind!* I'm doing fine, thank you. But I'm definitely feeling the Mars/Pluto opposition happening in the sky right now. 💣😅 Thank you for the kind words and for giving me the exact degrees! <3
I am looking at the Symbols for both the 7th and 8th degrees. We round a Sabian after it passes 30 minutes.
Sabian Symbol for 7°♎: "A woman feeding chickens and protecting them from the hawks"
This has been your energy for a while now. Watching over others and oneself. Concerns for safety. Looking after ideas. Responsibility. On a negative note - overprotective and always looking for potential issues. Worrying - again, about your own well-being and that of people around you.
Sabian Symbol for 8°♎: "A blazing fireplace in a deserted home"
Coziness and warmth. A sense of safety. Finding comfort in being alone. A place of refuge. Alternatively - loneliness/isolation. No one is at home.
Gene Key 18 (Judgment->Integrity->Perfection)
"Morally speaking, judgment gets a bad rap in the modern world. We talk about being non-judgemental as though it were one of the highest goals in life. In fact, it is impossible not to judge because judgment is the way in which the human mind thinks. What defines the low frequency of the victim mind is that you identify with what you think — in other words, your judgments define your identity and make you feel more secure. However, if you can make a judgment and at the same time be aware of judging then you are no longer trapped by your own mind, and thus the frequency around that judgment changes."
When you aren't in alignment, you feel JUDGMENT: The need to challenge authority (bonus points since it's in your 10th house of authority figures and the stricter parent). Being attached to your opinions. Being affected by other people's opinions of you. The need to be right. Complaining and feeling like a victim. People misunderstanding you/reacting harshly to what you have to say. Judging yourself. Feelings of inferiority/superiority.
When you are in alignment, you feel INTEGRITY: Understanding your past conditioning - what made you the way you are? Forgiving your parent(s). Developing your own values. Striving toward self-improvement. Accepting imperfection and striving for excellence, instead. Maintaining high standards. Growing up. Being objective - removing the ego attachment to your opinions. Learning to communicate corrections/critique in an impersonal way. Accepting yourself as you are, more and more.
So, all and all, during this transient period (which will end as soon as the Sun moves into 9° 30' ♎), you are called to learn more about yourself, your upbringing, and especially your relationship with one of your parents - the disciplinarian one. This GK could be affecting you at your workplace, and in your relationships with teachers/bosses and co-workers where you could, for example, have some sort of a critique or suggestion to share, but people take it the wrong way. Or you could be the one feeling judged, and wanting to defend yourself.
You might have spent a lot of time in the past worrying about what people think of you (quite normal when you are young), and it's essentially a period of growing up and letting go of unhealthy perfectionism and self-judgments you could've absorbed from your early environment.
"Wherever you see someone living with Integrity, you are seeing someone using the power of judgment in an objective and impersonal way. This is the great Gift of the 18th Gene Key — not to use or take judgment personally, but to learn to judge from your heart. Judging from the heart can never be cruel because true Integrity has only one purpose — to serve the whole in the spirit of truth and compassion."
Your heart is the fireplace from the 8° Sabian - your source of comfort and warmth during this time! It's a stage of healing past hurts, and releasing self-judgment, first. Only a healed person can receive and offer advice/critique to others without filtering it through the lenses of their past pain.
I hope that was helpful!
All quotations are from the amazing book "The Gene Keys" by Richard Rudd. 💜
- Foxbørn
ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ 1
ᴄʜᴀʀᴛ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢꜱ
ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴜʏ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴄᴏꜰꜰᴇᴇ?
#veronikafoxborn#astrology#astro notes#astro observations#zodiac#astrology degrees#astro community#progressed sun#zodiac signs#birth chart#natal chart#astroworld#horoscope#human design#progressed chart
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
✨Galaxy Anon ✨ here!
Glad to be back!
Don’t you give me those eyes!
Oh definitely I understand that. I actually get anxious if someone meant something in a blunt tone or in a judging tone sometimes in text since I get scared if I anger them pfft. Makes sense no worries, you don’t want to public to know. No problem.
Glad to hear, update me on it then! Trust me when you really get into it will hold your heart in the feels.
Oh what kinda merch? Ooh yes I don’t really enjoy a lot of the games since I don’t think I’m a game person except visual novel games like sunny day Jack but I do love hearing the lore and watching some gameplays ( though while markplier is cool I like Watching Jacksepticle gameplays more since I feel I vibe with it more and he has this energy that makes me listen. I am really picky about YouTubers no joke they can have a great arguments but if they way they present it maybe is by AI voice or don’t have a great tone to the video I usually can only hear a minute and do something else. I have a low attention span.) Makes sense since a lot of the games mechanics don’t interest me and not to mention sometimes the story doesn’t make sense at times on how it ties all together. I only am in the fnaf lore of the Afton, security breach lore ( that fans make better than the actual game mind you) and fanfics especially time travel ones with found family. It’s my weakness dear lord especially with security breach Gregory in the mix. I mean I also have seen some art of it and my god I’m just like “ more….MORE!” If you ever want to see some of that fun and wholesome stuff or time travel shit just tell me and I link you to some blogs and I promise they don’t disappoint. I mean I can now see why you don’t want to get that there now.
Oh no no I get it. That sounds like a cruel and horrible fate not to mention then you become a mindless husk of your former self and can even hurt your non affected loved ones and will never know it and the only way to stop you is someone or even yourself ( before you fully turned for the latter) is to die by being killed. Like hell no anyone who wants it to happen please go to another dimension where that is happening I like living.
Hooray ( and I never thought of it that way!) and can’t wait to hear your thoughts. There some more as well especially one song that has yandere vibes so if you ever want to hear it tell me.
Ooh I have to check out that music then to understand the fics!
Pfft like yes I’m fine I just like sad music since it inspires I’m not depressed! Oh definitely I’m like hearing one and I have a whole soap opera happening in my head and thinking “ Man even I want to know how this ends! Ooh ideas for my oc’s!” Ooh that sounds interesting.
Yes I believe that is the case. It’s still frustrating though since you have to throw away your dignity just to appease someone and it’s shameful when your actually in the right. Yeah unfortunately they would lose money and they rather fire the worker for actually doing there job than kick out the customer because god forbid the customer is wrong, I hate the saying the customer is always right. Like no there not. And when the manager doesn’t even tell them even? It makes me look bad, like I’m the villain. Like I’m doing my job manager tell them I’m right instead of acting like a coward and just doing whatever the person wants.
Maybe one day I will get a new job though I know I will always have problems in every job so gotta stay positive and hope for the best. I mean at least most people in my job are nice.
I know, I was thinking “ What the hell man?! So you have no problem with gays but you draw the line with trans people? What?!” I least he isn’t in your life anymore I’m glad you had the courage to cut him off and it just disappointed me how the person he was talking to also agreed. Like please review yourself.
Also I saw the new work and yes it’s happening! Like Joseph my man really you do that even though I did nothing to you? Dude why didn��t you just tell reader “ Hey these people want me to fake date you as a prank but are offering a lot of money I need. Can you go along and we can split it?” Like as reader I still would feel hurt but at least he didn’t lie to me and also he sharing money? I can get behind that. Loopholes bitch. But to the Anon who said who wanted to slap Joseph yes Anon you know what’s up! I really want more angst now lol.
Always excited to see you Galaxy!!! 💕
👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
If it makes me nervous, too, cause I don't like upsetting people. Also, thank you for understanding 😊💕
I will!
I have figures of each, a hawks funko normal sized and one on my Keychain, two dabi shirts and one Hawks, dabi chopsticks, backpack with charms, a dabi plush, and a hand made hawks doll my sisters friend for me. That's only part collection, tho 👀. I collect whatever I can from my favorite fandoms or what I'm hyperfixating on, which is lowkey a problem since my home is small now....you know what that reminds me of? Me with the dark souls series. I have NEVER played one of them because i can't seem to get then hang of them, but I love the aesthetic. So, i binged any lore video I could find on YouTube, and I still do time from time. (I can play bloodborne and elden ring fine, tho. I'm not the best, but I have fun) If you wanna hear good angst, listen to that. As for the YouTube part get that I'm very picky about mine too. Though I do think it funny that how I see Jack and Mark is flipped from your view. Also, fun fact the Soulsbornering fadom is the only one I don't read fanfics on. As for those fanfic I might hit you up later when I'm up to date on the lore!
Preach! I don't want that shit!
I'm always down for new songs, so send me as many as you would like!
Let me know what you think! 💕
OMG, ME TOO! I DO THAT SHIT WHEN IM ZONING OUT AND PLAYING GAMES. It's my favorite pass time, ngl.
I hate that shit, I'm lucky my job only pretended to play the role if they knew you were in the right. They told the customer they would handle us, then pull us aside and go "look I know that was shit, but we had to do something, so sit down and wait."
That's very admirable of you, Galaxy, and I understand what you mean.
I think that's fucking disgusting that they agree at that stupid shit, and honestly I am too growing up I didn't know any better and thought the stupid bullshit he was normal. Now that im older, I'm disgusted by him. There were far more bigger reasons why i cut him off, but the more i talk with my mom and look back, im glad i did. I've thought about changing my last name to my mother's maiden name, but I decided against it.
Lol, I won't lie. I can't tell if people like the fic or not. I don't even know where this came from. Honestly, I felt stumped on a request, so I was gonna take a break, but instead opened a file and just went at it. If you want more angst, I can deliver 👀
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Twisted Wonderland Reaction Part 14 ~ STOP PERCIEVING ME Edition
Hello everyone!
So I debated on weather to make a post abt this part of book 5 but I decided to anyway cause I have some kinda strong emotions abt it that I have to get out, preferably soon before the en discourse begins to set in and I risk being nuked off the internet. Next reaction post will be 90% blind so there’s that.
Warning: Pic heavy, swearing, emotional musings, slight Epel slander, Vil simping and mention of my ocs (I try to keep it at a minimum). Also TW: Slight mentions of homophobia and my personal experiences with gender dysmorphia.
Bonjour Honey!!! If you understand that reference, congratulations!! You have unlocked level 200 friendship access to me, please DM me to claim your prize~
Seriously are there no ad-blockers in Twisted Wonderland?!
I’ll say it once, I’ll say it again, Disney missed a huge opportunity playing it safe with Neige’s design and I hate them for it. Especially when we get to his SDC song. No spoilers but it’s pretty bad and I’m not just saying that cause I’m a Vil simp.
Rook, sweetie, I usually love everything that comes from your mouth but this instant, kindly shut the hell up. You always struck me as someone who would appreciate beauty that is more dynamic and compelling and not so transient, please don’t fail me!
And this right here, this is the seed Vil planted resulting in me really respecting and admiring him as a character. Carry on, my Pomefiore queen, crush Epel’s toxic way of thinking. We stan. 💙
Uhhh...it’s sounding like you wouldn’t mind that. Not that I’m judging. We don’t kinkshame in this house, for the most part. 😅
Ohhhh Kalim, my sweet sunshine, nice save cause Vil was really about to dropkick you here. And I’d probably let him too...
You truly are the fairest one of my heart. Now and forever. 💙
But seriously, these chapters really made me feel for Vil. I can appreciate the frustration he has of the world perceiving him in a certain way and then punishing him for those false assumptions. Especially since he seems not to be truly cruel, just incredibly tenacious. I’ve been suffering from people’s false assumptions of me for most of my life and I’ve yet to find a way to make people see who I truly am. But I think I could learn not to care about what they think, if I could one day be as radiant as Vil.
More character development for my sunshine child! And for personal reasons that I’ve mentioned before, this moment made me even happier because it shows that even Kalim is capable of this level of introspection. It really makes me curious and excited for how his and Jamil’s relationship will develop in the future.
Shut the fuck up Grim! Before I beat your ass with a stick! Christ, we’re having a deep moment and you had to ruin it with your fucking one track mind! You are seriously the worst! (half serious, half affectionate)
This cannot end well...
Your gluttony will be the doom of us all...
Everyone’s gansta ‘till Vil pulls out the ara ara~
👀👀👀 *bonks myself with my own stick*
YESSIR!
OH FUCK NO! I CHANGED MY MIND VIL! I’LL SLEEP ON THE LOUNGE FLOOR WITH THE IDIOTS! THE SLEEP PARALYSIS RAT IS BACK!
Yes I can but I really wish I wasn’t. Also, Mickey having his OG design really throws a wrench in my Unreality theory I was working from for Yuulan’s storyline...not that I’m gonna fix it at this point though.
Okay, WHO THE FUCK designed this new twistune?! Cause I’d like to have a word with them! No anger, just wanna talk cause I can usually SS most twistunes on easy and normal but this?! I JUST WANNA TALK
No not really, he was too busy pissing Danica off and she finally had enough...
Okay, so this was the moment that made me REALLY wanna punch Epel in the face and lowkey why I’m not pulling for him this week. The translation is also toned down some so if you understand what he’s saying, Epel comes off as VERY misogynistic here. It’s clear he’s dealing with some serious homophobia and by homophobia, I don’t mean hatred of gay people, I mean actual fear of being perceived in a feminine way which is just as bad (is there a word for that?Cause I know homophobia isn’t the one I’m looking for). Especially since some of his personal stories have shown that Epel does genuinely have some more feminine-perceived interests like embroidery, apple carving, etc.
Once again, Vil is the right one in this situation. He can see Epel’s potential but because that potential is tied to society’s narrow perception of weakness and strength, Epel himself does not see it. Oddly enough, this is an issue that many of my female ocs deal with. Many of my main girls are very feminine and charming but they also posses incredible strength in various ways. Most of their stories focus on them balancing their strength with their femininity without forsaking their femininity all together. I don’t often see these kinds of stories in media but since I've struggled with my womanhood for so long, my characters are all the more important to me. Because strength is not mutually a masculine trait and there is power in grace.
And I know some people have interpreted Vil’s actions and words towards Epel as harsh and even abusive but I don’t really. As someone who has dealt with some serious gender related trauma and dysmorphia in the past, I really take issue with Epel’s comments here. Frankly, I feel like these ignorant societal notions cause as much dysmorphia in people as anything else. So I really cannot tolerate it. What’s more, I don’t really think Vil is trying to force Epel to change how he is, nor does he have contempt for Epel as he is, but he is trying to change his narrow way of thinking which is what’s REALLY holding Epel back. I’ll explain this further in a moment.
I actually like blastcycle better than magic wheel, every now and then EN makes a translation choice that isn’t totally out there.
Awww, Ii really love Deuce and Epel’s interactions. There’s nothing heterosexual about them but that’s okay! ❤
DISNEYLAND!!!
Dumbass (highly affectionate)
Sweet, filthy farm child (also highly affectionate)
Another reason why I really haven’t taken issue with Vil’s actions yet. Even though he is harsh, Epel isn’t all in the right either and has some serious prejudices against certain types of people. Even after Vil vibe checks him more than a few times, he still hasn’t gotten what he’s trying to convey to him. He’s pretty hardheaded and sometimes gentle guidance doesn’t remedy that.
If I’m being truly honest, out of all the boys who have OB so far, Vil IMO has been the LEAST problematic. I probably would not be saying that if it weren’t for some of the very specific experiences I’ve had in my life but really, Vil doesn’t seem genuinely cruel or malicious or even sus. Even Jamil was just a little sus though his grievances were equally as justified as Vil’s (but he went about things not in the best of ways). Now that may change since I stopped reading Book 5 at a certain point but as of now, if Vil is wrong for how he’s treated Epel, then Epel is just as wrong for his hardheadedness.
But I want to make it clear I DO NOT DISLIKE EPEL AS A CHARACTER. His way of thinking is pretty common in more rural and conservative areas bible belt states and its only when some people grow up that they take on a different POV. And Epel probably has the same issue as Vil, being perceived a certain way by society and being punished for it. Hopefully with what Vil did for Epel’s family, he will soon understand what Vil has been trying to teach him.
SEE?! HE IS LEARNING!!! 💖💖💖😊😊😊
OH GOD! FUCKING JUMPSCARE! They’re so sorry, Vil-san! Please don’t be too hard on them! They’re knuckleheads but they know better now! Have mercy!!
Ahhhhhhh, ahhhh, ahhhhh, oh god, is that who I think it is?? Does this mean...
MY DARLING DRAGON HUSBAND!! I squeezed my Malleus plushie so hard when he appeared! 💚
Really, if Lilia hadn’t run off so fast at the end of Book 4, I would have invited him to our holiday feast too! But concert tickets will have to suffice for now, please come over for ice cream when it gets warmer!
Awww, he wanted to see us perform, he really is simping hard for MC and it’s adorable!
Goodnight, sweet prince. And with that, we conclude Book 5 part 2. Next time shit will likely hit the fan fast and hard and from what some of my friends playing JP have told me, it will hurt. So let’s enjoy this sweet reprieve for as long a we can. After the emotional roller coaster I’ve just had, I’m so happy I was able to make Malleus smile like this. 💚💚💚
10 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
sleepingvalentine
rohlala
e-kallyntika-blog
www.e-kallyntika.gr
motmaytinh
Người kì cục
blushingryou-blog
The future isn't set in stone