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tinyascanbe · 2 days

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Ignorant/gullible borrowers who grow up thinking the world is like all the tv and movies they see in the humans house that theyve always lived in

- believing some humans have super powers

-thinking theres giant sharks in the ocean (they watched sharknado and jaws ok??)

-they have nightmares about the aliens capturing their humans (their humans have watched way too much ancient aliens)

-they totally believe in all the cryptids

-they think snakes on a plane was based off a true story

When discovered by the human…the tiny has so many baffling questions about human society and the outside world causing the human to hurt their tummy from laughing

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thedisablednaturalist · 6 months

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Doctor red flags:

-Mentions weight loss, exercise, nutrition, mental wellness, before any physical examination/testing

-interrupts you

-tries to rush the appointment

-laughs at you

-says you're too young

-Touches you without warning or asking for consent (common with older male doctors unfortunately, but is becoming less common)

-accuses you of self dxing/mentions dr. Google

-mentions anything about powering through the pain

Do not be afraid to drop a doctor/caregiver and see a new one. Doctor shopping is a term made by ableds who believe every doctor is perfect. Your health is precious and you should only trust those you're comfortable with to take care of it. Do not feel bad about offending the doctor. They do not care. They won't harass you or question you (if they do then that's..probably illegal). I know its hard with some insurances or lesser served areas so don't feel bad if you can't, but if you have the option to do so do not be afraid.

Extra tip: Most doctors will behave themselves if you bring an advocate. Even just having a friend sit quietly will help.

#chronic disability #chronic pain #spoonie #disability #chronic illness #wrenfea.exe #feel free to add on #edited

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starr-ofthevoid · 1 month

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I love the “Mumbo’s some kind of supernatural creature” headcanons, and I love the “Mumbo’s just a guy” headcanons, but may I propose: “everyone thinks Mumbo is some sort of creature thing but he’s actually just a bit strange”

“His eyes are so red they basically glow!” My guy inhales enough redstone to power a small machine on the daily.

“He’s nocturnal! He’s always up at night!” Insomnia.

“It’s like he teleports! He just appears behind people” he’s just naturally very quiet and people don’t hear him walking up.

“He knows so many random facts, there has to have been around for ages to learn all that” he’s just a nerd.

Mumbo gets nervous anytime someone tries to interrogate him, making the hermits even more suspicious, but in actuality he’s just worried they’ll be disappointed and he’s starting to realise they probably won’t believe him no matter what answer he gives.

There’s a server-wide bet going for who can figure out what he actually is. Grian, who’s known him for years and knows full well that’s he’s 100% mortal and human, shows up and starts egging the hermits on by “dropping hints” as to what he may be, much to Mumbo’s dismay. Grian thinks the bet is utterly hilarious.

#I know this definitely is not an original thought but I still thinks is silly #hes just a silly lil guy #Grian is a menace ofc #feel free to add on #I like this hc I think it’s silly goofy #mumbo jumbo #hermitcraft mumbo #hermitblr #hermitcraft #headcanon #Hermitcraft headcanons #def not projecting from my bsf #who I also question if he’s a creature sometimes #starr ramblings

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justaz · 4 months

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country bumpkin merlin not knowing anything about city life and accidentally courting arthur without knowing

merlin, watching gwen give lancelot her favor: why do you do that

gwen, heart eyes at lance and not paying that much attention to the conversation: so he knows i’m rooting for him

merlin, with an Idea: ah.

gwaine, lover of chaos, pisser offer of nobles and royals alike, ultimate wingman: merlin…you have such lonely lips. shall i introduce them to mine?

merlin, unaware of the game gwaine is playing: so you can steal my breath away? i think not, scoundrel

arthur, crushing his goblet in his hand:

merlin: arthur’s been in a bad mood recently :( i should cheer him up

merlin, remembering when arthur was put out when merlin brought morgana flowers and not him: i know just the thing

merlin, bringing a bouquet of carnations, roses, and tulips and setting them on arthur’s table while he’s eating breakfast: good morning, sire

arthur, trained on flower language in hopes that one day when he was to take a queen he could woo her easily, trying not to audibly choke on his sausage as he reads merlin’s declaration of love sitting in front of him:

arthur, who recently found out about merlin’s magic and was trying to find a way to bring it up, catching him in the act and watching merlin panic to explain himself:

merlin, Freaking: and i swear to you arthur, i have only ever used it for you. my magic is yours. my life is yours. i am yours. i would never do anything to harm you. i have protected you for years and will continue to do so at your side if you’ll have me

arthur, already believing them to be courting, desperately trying to figure out if that was a proposal for marriage or not but tired of being confused and deciding fuck it: here.

merlin, taking it: i…uh…huh?

arthur, watching merlin with hawk eyes and trying to figure out what he’s thinking and feeling: it’s my mothers sigil

merlin, confused as FUCK but is focusing on the fact that arthur is handing him something of his mother rather than a death sentence: my…my lord?

arthur, realizing how scared merlin’s must be about him finding out about his magic and trying to comfort him while also proposing, killing two birds with one stone: i will always keep you at my side, merlin, so long as we both shall live. if you’ll allow me.

merlin, almost collapsing with relief and tearing up, smiling at arthur as if he had parted the storm clouds to allow sun to shine down on them in that moment: of course…of course, arthur. always and forever.

merlin, watching the castle staff rush this way and that: wow. this banquet must be incredibly important

sir leon the long suffering, day one ride or die, one of the original merthur shippers: banquet? merlin, this is for your wedding

merlin, overworked and exhausted: my WHAT? to WHO??

leon, regretting everything he’s ever done in his life that led him to this moment: to…arthur?

merlin, over joyed but also absolutely befuddled: i’m getting married to ARTHUR?????

leon: you two have been courting for the past year or so, have you not?

merlin: i’ve been COURTING ARTHUR?????? FOR A YEAR?????????

#merthur #i spent like an hour researching medieval courting rituals to make this #and even then #i did not find much #so if there’s someone out there who is like weirdly knowledgeable about 6th century courting rituals #feel free to add on #bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #merlin emrys #sir gwaine #sir leon #sir lancelot #guinevere #i literally started this post bc i was thinking about the misunderstanding between merlin and gwen and merlin’s giving arthur his favor #and then i kept going #but i didn’t have much else in the ole noggin to write #i’m sorry #please forgive me

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demonadelem · 1 month

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The NaruMitsu wedding would be a trainwreck not because of any interpersonal reasons but upon the question "does anybody object to this matrimony?" every single lawyer in the chapel is trained to object on instinct. So the ceremony keeps having to be redone.

By time they finally get it right Apollo is red in the face about to pass out from holding his breath, Franziska bit down on her whip so hard it broke, there's duct tape on Klavier's mouth, Mia was heard from the afterlife, Pheonix had maid-of-honor Maya hold his mouth closed, Miles stopped the first time he did it but it turns out he was wearing earplugs-

#wrightworth #narumitsu #ace attorney #feel free to add on

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lesbicosmos · 2 months

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merlin episodes summarised in the gayest possible way:

arthur disobeys uther and risks his life to get merlin a really rare flower

merlin and arthur spend several minutes arguing over who will die for the other (this one actually happens several times)

some guy tries to take over merlin's job, merlin only realises he's possessed by the spirit of a dead sorcerer because he's too obsessed and jealous of how much arthur seems to like him

merlin gets really jealous around arthur's new girlfriend, desperate to sabotage their date

arthur is completely oblivious to the fact his own wife is enchanted, but notices and gets really worried when merlin doesn't smile for two days

#these are the only ones i can think of off the top of my head #feel free to add on #bbc merlin #merlin #arthur pendragon #merthur

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zeldaelmo · 8 months

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Reasons why the house is called Zelda's house:

They changed the sign from 'Link' to 'Zelda' because Link is wanted for arson in every single settlement in Hyrule and they don't want to make it too easy to find him.

Tax benefits. Double income, no kids — have you seen Hyrule's inflation rate? Gotta make every rupee count.

Yunobo visited and swung his Boulder Breaker a little too clumsily and broke the sign that formerly said 'Link and Zelda's house' so that it's now only Zelda's house. Yunobo is inconsolable.

They changed the sign from 'Link' to 'Zelda' because Kogah and the Yigs learned to read in the depths while searching for autobuild and they don't want to make it too easy to find him. That now 'Zelda' stands on the sign in bright letters? Well, it's not 'Princess Zelda' for a reason, they won't connect the dots, I promise.

Riju practiced her new lightning abilities. The wooden sign didn't take being electrocuted as well as they thought. Riju says it's payback for Link never giving the thunder helmet back.

Hateno's citizens kept insisting he should run for the mayor election so they pretended he didn't live in Hateno.

Sidon stole the sign saying 'Link' and put it on one of the beds in the inn in Zora's Domain so that Link always feels at home.

The woman cleaning the house scrubbed the sign a little too thoroughly and now Link's name is unreadable.

A storm broke Link's part off and when Link tried to fix it, Tulin accidentally produced one gush of wind too many and it blew it all the way down to Hateno Bay.

The village kids convinced Link to join their spy team and keep erasing his name from the sign because you can't have your name on your door as a spy for Hylia's sake! Discretion is crucial!

His name is on the sign. It's just covered by Cece's mushrooms so it's unreadable.

Wait—I thought this is Zelda???!!

#totk spoilers #tears of the kingdom #totk #legend of zelda #zelink #hateno house #Couldn't come up with something for mineru sorry #feel free to add on

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opportunityarose · 4 months

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sex scenes in good omens

"toss you for edinburgh"

crowley blowing the stain off aziraphale's coat

aziraphale sitting on the flaming sword

the ox scene (obviously)

1941 gun scene (again. obviously)

aziraphale driving the bentley

#feel free to add on #og post #good omens

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sweetpapercroissant · 10 months

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the thing about cannibalism is that it’s soooo versatile <3 you can eat someone because you can’t stand to be in two different skins you can eat someone because it’s the only way you can forgive them you can eat someone because they’re slipping away from you and you can’t stand to lose them you can eat someone if you want to be so close to them nothing else can satiate you you can eat someone because you want to know every part of them you can eat someone because they remind you of the person you actually want to eat but you love so much you can’t bear to hurt them you can eat someone because you want to carry them with you forever you can eat someone because only one of you can continue to exist you can eat someone because they were always meant to be a part of you you were never meant to exist as two separate beings you can eat someone because they’re abhorrent and at least this way something good will have come from their existence and you can eat someone because you’re so so hungry

#feel free to add on #cannibalism #.txt

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cupcraft · 3 months

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Some easy cooking/meal tips as an adult grad student:

You dont need to chop amazingly perfectly and meticuously. At the end of the day chop safely and however. If it tastes good its good.

Instant things can make things 1000% easier for yourself. Instant mash/instant mac/instant rice/instant pasta/etc. Add Frozen things. Add premade things. Your dishes don't have to be from scratch at all aspects ever. Do what is easiest for you and delicious!

You can use pre-ground spices. I know, yes, whole spices and roasting them and grinding them and using a mortar/pestle yourself is delicious and wondrous. But you can use preground spices to save time. You can use a food processor to blend spices/garlic/etc. together.

If you struggle with making too much food (ie food waste concern), try to make dishes you know will freeze well that way you can have leftovers that store for a long time (ie potatoes dont necessarily freeze well imo, whereas rice freezes just fine!). I also recommend just halving recipes and try to shoot for as many portions is suitable for you.

Uh oh made too much rice? What do I do and i dont want to freeze it? 1-2 days in the fridge and you have rice that is going to make an excellent fried rice. You always want to use old rice! And you can put whatever you want in it!

Canned food is okay. Canned food is okay. Canned food is okay. Eat canned meats, fish, vegetables, etc. Imo some canned veggies arent my favorite flavor wise but if you like it and it works USE IT.

Add mayo to each side of your bread when making grilled cheese. It'll make a great brown crust in a buttered pan.

American/processed/velveeta like cheese is fine. Its delicious it melts well its totally fine. Stop demonizing processed foods and "preservatives". Velveeta/kraft cheeses are going to melt so perfectly for your grilled cheese the end.

Instant pots & slow cookers & air fryers can make your life a lot easier, and at least for instant pots/slow cookers I find them easier to clean!

Meal planning will really help you. Plan what you want to eat every week (or as far ahead as it helps you). Pre-cut vegetables. Buy meat in bulk and freeze/thaw as needed. Etc. Prepping/planning will make your life easier!

You can often buy shrimp that is pre-peeled & deveined, and even pre-cooked. This makes cooking time easier and faster.

It's okay to order takeout if you dont have the energy to cook. Its okay to order takeout if you do have the energy to cook. Enjoy and treat yourself.

Preboiling your potatoes (tender but not fully done) then baking them can make a crispier roasted potato.

#feel free to add on #cup.recipe

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astarions-wife · 5 months

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Okay y’all. Buckle in, I might have information about Violet’s (Vampire Spawn Violet) identity. So shoutout to @sadanduncertain for linking me to this tweet, but one of the writers confirms that the “banned patron” book in act 2 is in fact referencing Astarion, which infers that Astarion (probably over a century ago, before the Shadow Curse took over) was definitely near Moonrise, which means it isn’t at all unlikely that any of the spawn could’ve been there, or even have been from there.

Near the House of Healing, there’s a graveyard. There are a LOT of graves here you can interact with, but this one in particular caught my attention.

Violet Goldhammer.

Now spawn Violet, there’s very little known about her, except she’s a little bratty. Who’s to say she wasn’t a little bit of a bratty, young singer, who got whisked away to Baldur’s Gate? I just think it’s interesting because we don’t usually see name repeats in the game, and we know that spawn being around this area isn’t unheard of.

#feel free to add on #I’m just insane #I need more spawn lore #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate #astarion #bg3 astarion #astarion bg3 #baldurs gate iii #baldurs gate astarion #astarion baldurs gate #violet bg3 #vampire spawn bg3 #vampire spawn #Cazador #Violet goldhammer

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chaoticace2005 · 2 months

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Reasons Vox may want to destroy Alastor:

1. He sucks.

2. It’s hot.

3. He rejected Vox’s advances and Vox does not handle rejection well.

4. Alastor supports Coke. Vox supports Pepsi. Enough said.

5. Stupid haircut.

6. He’s jealous of Alastor’s ears. How come he gets ears?!

7. He asked Alastor if he had a tail and was ghosted for seven years.

8. Alastor did $50,000 in TV damages at the Hellmart

9. Alastor apparently has a new #1 rival and HOW DARE HE

10. His stupid triangle ass. Vox HATES triangles. Boxes are IN!

11. He carries a dildo stick around. Vox already has 1 person in his life carrying a dildo stick around sometimes and that’s one too many.

12. When Vox glitches “Val” may sound like “Al”, he wants to get rid of potential confusion.

13. He once called Vox a podcast. Vox HATES podcasts.

14. Alastor didn’t laugh at his joke that one time.

15. He smiles too much for someone who never goes to the dentist.

16. Vox watched Bambi and never emotionally recovered. So the sight of Alastor nearly brings him to tears.

17. He needs to get rid of Alastor so Val/Velvette STOP saying he has a crush on Alastor

18. He needs to get rid of Alastor before anyone else can.

19. Vox is actually just racist.

20. Alastor is red. Red=communist. And as capitalism incarnate Vox hates communists.

21. HE KEEPS STEALING FROM VOX

22. Radio related trauma

23. He goes to the same tailor as Vox. Nobody is allowed to go to the same tailor as Vox.

24. Vox is aphobic

25. Alternatively, Vox is on the a-spec and doesn’t want to share a label with Alastor.

26. It’s the only way he can get pleasure because Valentino is not satisfying him in bed

Oh yeah, also: Power.

#feel free to add on #more tomota references #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel memes #stupid hazbin hotel lists #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #vox #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor #radio demon #radiostatic #staticradio #one sided #at least in my perspective #hazbin hotel crack #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #valvox

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emxritus · 4 months

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"Don't bother talking back to me, I can't hear shit."

"You know, this is a song about..sex."

"Impregnate me right here, right now on this floor-"

"I remember this song...No, I don't. I was never there. Fuck that."

"Huh? Oh hey."

"I want to be yours!"

"Hello. We are Ghost."

"A nightmare have just turned into a dream, so thank you all for that."

"We like to be in heat."

"Anybody who says different is lying."

"Stay away from the Grammys."

"This is a song about a motherfucker who wears a triple sideways comb over."

"Don't fucking blame me."

"You can call me Papi."

"What!? It was a joke!"

"I have a hole in my shoe right there!"

"Without my hat being on, I'm a little bit ehh..short."

"And you sounded like a fucking asshole."

"The kazoo of destiny!"

"Are you ready to tambourine the shit outta this situation?"

"I love you too, we have something going."

"The female orgasm is looked upon as a craft of the devil! So here, we celebrate the female orgasm!"

"It is one rocking fucking song."

"Sorry for the cursing, I tend to curse. I say stupid things. Sorry about that. But basically, we are gonna do one heavy motherfucker, about one evil motherfucker. This motherfucker is so evil."

"Mwah!"

"We have a tendency to write songs that are uhh..Sort of suggestive and ehh sexual."

"He is not the fucking president!"

"He's such a fucking bastard that we've written a song about him."

"Anyway, this is a good biology lesson."

"I need to sound taller than I am."

"Are you gonna sing it really loud? Because you like singing songs about FUCKING!"

"Fuck Trump!"

"And no ass grabbing!"

"You see what his fingers can do huh? And you wish you were the one the he was doing."

"Hello, you look very concerned."

"Disown that guitar and give it all to me instead."