#i feel like i may be the most qualified person in existence to talk about dal with the hours ive put into deconstructing the code
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Hey first I want to say that I really like your in depth posts on Dragon Age! Can I ask if you have any information and/or insights on the Jainen Circle from Legends? And do you think it's canon?
Everything That Happens Involving the Jainen Circle of Magi:
The First Enchanter is Jendrik whenever DAL is set (it's canonically sometime after the start of the 5th blight, but imo it's more specifically set somewhere from 9:34-9:37).
Sometime before you arrive in Jainen, the Circle is overrun by demons.
The leader of the local dragon cultists, Deymour, sends his lieutenant, Guillen, to kill Jendrik. If you head too far into Jainen without going to the Circle, Jendrik will die, otherwise you save him. If you save him, he's too wounded to help you so he just...leaves, I guess. He doesn't get any dialogue or a sprite or anything.
When you fight through the Circle, you fight both templars and mages (who are fighting together). I don't think you fight any demons until the very end, which has one desire demon as a boss.
The source of the demon(s) is Deymour who, as part of the overarching plot of DAL, is hosting a shard of a pride demon's soul in him. It's not explicitly stated that he summoned the demon(s), but his whole pride demon thing and also his general involvement (asking Guillen to kill Jendrik) is a pretty good indicator.
No matter the outcome, none of this is ever mentioned again.
Is the Jainen Circle Canon?
Nothing from DAL is canon.
That said, most of the game can be stretched to fit into canon (even Eiton being 'born Tranquil', fight me), and the Jainen Circle isn't any less realistic than anything else in DAL. Honestly, the main potential conflicts with canon are probably:
The times when we've been told how many circles there are (either 14 or 15; it's not even consistent). There are more than that listed on the wiki, even without including Jainen. However, quite a few of those Circles only have references from hundreds of years ago and may not exist anymore, so even 14 is enough to include Jainen as one of them.
Kinloch Hold is generally discussed in canon as THE Circle in Ferelden, replacing Denerim's Circle in 3:87. Maybe Jainen's just smaller or too remote or something, idk.
#dragon age#dragon age legends#dragon age meta#dragon age lore#da#dal#i feel like i may be the most qualified person in existence to talk about dal with the hours ive put into deconstructing the code#i have a 125 page document mapping the full plot (not in a way that would be particularly useful to anyone else tho sorry)#(but i WILL gladly talk about literally anything to do with it because oh boy do i know TOO MUCH about this game)#personal#was literally thinking a few hrs ago about writing a post about dwarves and golems and lyrium and magic resistance and souls........#with heavy references to dal because of what happens in orzammar#(yes my copy of the game crashes before orzammar but the code still exists and i have Read It)#like there's a new paragon called beirus who figured out caridin's research and is making golems out of darkspawn#VERY interesting stuff. wish i could actually play it lmao. i wanna see the sprites for the golems when they're fighting#also ftr there are werewolf golems and they're called grinders. mhm
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Serious talk about meta under the cut.
I don't know who might need to hear it, but fwiw mental flexibility is a huge part of analysis (and interacting with other humans lol). You need to be able to account for multiple possibilities when examining a work, or understanding a social exchange. You need to be able to separate what is objective fact from your own subjective interpretation and judgment. The most negative interpretation is not automatically the most worthwhile or true. Someone throwing accusations around in-line with their own worst interpretations does not guarantee those accusations are warranted. You are not a bad or stupid person for disagreeing. Shit needs to withstand scrutiny.
I don't always strike the right balance myself. I do the best I can but I'm definitely not perfect. Tbh I'm not beyond pettiness either--although I try to keep that out of actual analysis lol. There have been times I've griped to friends privately or blogged about how I felt (sans tags, with spoiler blocks so people can opt out). I've griped recently. I'm bound to gripe again in the future. Some level of griping is inevitable imo and I figure no one is 100% immune.
All that said, even if someone’s take isn't canon AND even if it's something I really dislike--I'd personally rather people follow their passions anyway. Hands down. I could be in the middle of a rant and my answer would still be that the subject of my frustration gets to exist. I'm not the boss and odds are we're going with different versions in our own heads. Discouraging another fan from creating due to my preferences or narrative approach would horrify me. I've seen fandoms where gatekeeping like that killed the creative community and it was fucking awful.
Not everyone is confident in their own judgment. Not everyone faced with a pissed off person trying to use lore and accusations like clubs will feel okay continuing with their own vision. Elitism and manipulation (especially through rhetoric) can be present within analysis. People are not being taught how to recognize those things properly. Analysts aren't always aware or invested enough to even be careful. It’s legit easy to get caught up in ideas or feelings to the point of forgetting about other people’s, and adjusting to account for alternate approaches takes some work. For me at least, I think having a 'no insults' policy and being super careful when it comes to absolute claims (assertions not qualified by 'I think' or 'it could be argued') helps.
Anyway. Just because a person calls something ‘meaningless’ doesn't make it meaningless. Someone pooh-poohing an observation you made doesn't make your observation less true or important. Employing a literary term doesn't mean that individual actually understands the term, how it works, or how to apply it. Which is to say nothing of romantic chemistry or whatever.
I encourage readers to extrapolate on this. ‘Shallow’ could apply as much as ‘meaningless’. Denying parallels exist by itself doesn’t actually negate those parallels. Your version of a character may not be the same as the fan next to you’s and that difference doesn't have to detract. There's more I could say on the subject (I've edited out a lot) but basically--just because another fan isn't into what you're doing doesn't automatically make what you're doing wrong, immoral, shoddy, or otherwise less.
Seriously, vet shit. Question the entire premise an analyst tries to establish then decide for yourself if it holds water. Turn over word choices and assertions in your head before deciding if they're appropriate. Do it to me too. I don't care if someone is the holy goddamn emperor of analysts. Just because a person says something is good or bad, true or false, whatever the hell doesn't make it so. Just because a person uses a technical term doesn't mean they're discussing it effectively. Quality of argument matters beyond the packaging it’s wrapped in. It's important to protect yourself from people whose priority is enforcing their own preferences, including dismissing things they aren't partial to.
I just don't want anyone shamed silent man. Not even people whose takes drive me up the fucking wall. Neither I nor any other analyst is an authority here. And there are people who are absolutely ready to take advantage of other people’s insecurities to assert themselves. Might not even be malicious, just indifferent.
For me, analysis feels kind of like uncovering a dinosaur skeleton. I want to share the cool and exciting things I find with other people. Sometimes I might be sorting out what my own thoughts and feelings are. It's also possible to examine why you're uncomfortable with something, or why you love something another person hates, while making very clear what is YOUR READING and not THE READING. Offering a variety of possibilities is very different from presenting yourself as the only correct one. One note at the end when everything else was insulting and intolerant is like a band-aid over a wound.
EDIT: As a last point, that I'm throwing in just-in-case. If anyone reading this thinks they may have overreached and done stuff I've mentioned + feels shitty about it… that's still not the end of the world. It’s okay. This is hard stuff to learn and I really don't think anyone's perfect at it. Worth the effort though. Just gotta take a deep breath, acknowledge you're a fallible human same as everyone else, and do the best you can going forward. Life goes on.
#saw one that horrified me a bit recently#involved a combination of overreaching + insults + purity culture#I can totally imagine buying in and being seriously fucked up by it when I was younger#I don’t want that happening to anyone else#it's okay to talk about NOTPs man but there are more and less responsible ways to do that
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MARTIAN'S MATCHING PORSCHE 911 GT2 RS CARS: A MASTERPOST
are you ready to feel parasocial about a pair of matching porsches, one of which may or may not even exist? you've come to the right place!
SECTIONS:
what is the 2010 Porsche 911 GT2 RS?
what's been said about the matching cars
timeline
unanswered questions and speculation
WHAT IS THE 2010 PORSCHE 911 GT2 RS?
well, it's her (source in watermark)
though she's been upstaged by her counterparts in the last decade, at the time, the gt2 rs was the most powerful road car porsche had ever built. only 500 were made. one of which, as we all know, came into the paws of one mark webber--another, presumably, found a home in sebastian vettel's garage. why do i say presumably? well..
WHAT'S BEEN SAID ABOUT THE MATCHING CARS
rather than making you squint at a bunch of screencaps, i'm just going to copy and paste the quotes that are out there..
“[The 911 GTS RS] is a beast! It’s got biblical power – the amount of torque is phenomenal. Sebastian [Vettel] bought one as well back in the day, we bought one together pretty much and I think he’s had a few tricky moments in his! They’re proper machines, those things. I think the engine’s probably a little bit big for the body, but in the right hands she’s a machine!”
Red Bull. july 28, 2016.
Webber said he shopped for a new ride with teammate Sebastian Vettel and both agreed that the Porsche made the most sense. He's extremely happy with the GT2's performance, comfort and race car-like driving dynamics.
Auto123, date unknown. the video in question
“I think it was around Monaco Grand Prix time, [Red Bull teammate] Sebastian Vettel and I were looking at some cars,” Webber said. “I’m not big on my road cars, to be honest, but when we started talking about this one it was a no-brainer.”
But instead of pulling any strings using his formula one fame, Webber reportedly strolled into a UK Porsche dealer to order his new wheels personally.
Drive. October 7, 2016.
“As a young guy, growing up in Australia, the Porsche 911 was definitive. I remember talking to Sebastian Vettel when the GT2 came out, about the power, the way it looked. He said, ‘what do you reckon?’ I said, ‘we should both get one’, so we did. If you take a 911 to a track day it’s the car that’s running around out there still working, with its brakes still working, at the end of the day. It’s a Porsche. You know that. We all know that. Brakes are important, you know."
Top Gear Malaysia. date unknown, but since the headline is "mark webber has retired from racing," i'm going to pin it at sometime around november, 2016
“… Monte Carlo Grand Prix, 2010. I was sitting with Sebastian Vettel, and we were looking at the new 997 GT2 RS. And he said, ‘Shit, we need to buy one of those, you know?’ And I said, ‘yeah, we need—both of us.’ So I think that night, Monaco, after qualifying, we, uh. I didn’t outqualify Seb often, but that day, lucky, I kicked his ass, I was on pole position and he was not qualifying that well. And I said, ‘you still gonna buy the 911?’ And he said, ‘yeah, we should buy it.’ So he got a black one, I got a white one...”
fan video from the weekend of oct 2-3, 2021.
and though nothing was mentioned about matching cars, they're driving the same model (DEFINITELY different car though, one purchased by the red bull ring) in the now-famous martian taxi drivers instagram post, where mark says, “At the end of the day we even drove each other for a few laps. That’s the biggest bloody endorsement a street car can have, F1 drivers wanting to do more laps for the own pleasure😉👌🏽” april 24, 2020. this is the only allusion to the car i can find that is not only from 2010, but also shows that seb so much as touched a 2010 porsche 911 gt2 rs.
now, you may ask, why are you being so cagey about seb and his porsche?
well, the thing is. sebastian vettel has not so much as breathed a WORD to the media about owning a porsche 911, much less matching one with mark. as far as i can tell from the numerous searches i've done, anyway. everything we know about their matching porsches has come from mark.
TIMELINE
so with that, let's piece it together:
some point on thurs/fri of the monaco gp (may 13 or 14, 2010): martian see the 911 and they're like. hot damn. seb says what do u think. mark says let's get one each.
saturday (may 15): mark beats seb in qualifying, then gloatingly asks if seb is still in the mood to buy the porsche. and because seb is insane, he says yes.
some unidentified point in the future, likely in the break between monaco and turkey because i sincerely doubt mark was in the mood to go car shopping with seb after that (may 16-26): they buy the porsches. mark buys a white one, seb buys a black one.
2016: they don't speak about this to anyone in the media until mark retires from racing for good. when questioned about his favourite porsche cars, only THEN does he even mention that this car matching business took place at all. and, unprompted, repeats this story to multiple news outlets when asked about the 911.
we're faced with several years of silence until 2021, when the story pops up again.
UNANSWERED QUESTIONS AND SPECULATION
have you ever thought it weird that something as clinically insane as matching cars with your rival was never given more media attention than a passing few lines in some articles? somehow, either nobody has asked about the fact that Thee most fractious relationship in contemporary f1 bought matching cars, or they DID ask and were effectively muzzled, which is telling in and of itself. and check the dates: 2016. 2016. 2016. 2020. 2021. they did not only keep this under wraps until mark retired and became a full time porsche #influencer. one of them is either STILL KEEPING IT UNDER WRAPS...
... or doesn't have the car at all.
does seb even own this porsche? why have we only heard of it from mark's mouth? there are so many articles on ~road cars f1 drivers own~ but none of them even mention seb having it. so what's the truth? did he never buy one and only tell mark he did? does it stay dusty under a cover in his garage, never to see the light of day? did he buy it and then immediately sell it/give it away after turkey? or because it was like, purposefully to match with mark, is it one of the things he's Sentimental about that he's viciously protective of and keeps out of the spotlight?
mark goes into detail and says that seb got a black porsche, so that must mean that it EXISTS? surely?? well, we take that for granted, but we may never actually know.
another thing: notice how in the Drive article, mark reportedly went to a uk dealership in person to order the car? if he and seb bought them together, does that mean they also went to the dealership... together? and if we take this to be true, does that then mean they physically went to a porsche dealership in the uk just weeks before they collided in turkey and their relationship tripped and fell off a cliff? or did they go separately in person, or did only mark go in person and seb order through connections?
yet another thing: in the "Mark Webber and his 911 GT2 RS" video linked above next to auto123, he drives a black 911 and seems to imply that the car is his: "i'm definitely not gonna be parting with this one." but the car is black. and he says he got a white one. WHAT? [EDIT: the one in the video may be the 2011 model and not the 2010 model he bought with seb]
AND ANOTHER THING TO NOTE: while the internet was surely a Widespread Phenomenon in 2010, there may very well have been printed news about the matching cars that never got digitally archived. unfortunately i do not have a time machine, so that's up in the air for now.
but that's it! that's everything we know about martian's matching porsches. i will be updating this post as more info comes to light, so if i've missed anything, pls let me know!
#WIPES SWEAT FROM BROW. WELL . HERE IT IS#martian#martian monday#sebastian vettel#mark webber#matching porsches masterpost
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saw some more dream in the orb angst on my dash, and now i'm thinking of overture again
like. first of all - it gets a lot worse! because overture directly precedes the main story, so dream gets imprisoned twice in the span of about three days (at least the first time was relatively quick)
but second - he gets imprisoned in a black hole, by some sentient stars who want him dead but know if they actually kill him he'll just reincarnate, whereas this way he's out of the way forever
and i feel like this page says so much about how he'd react to burgess' trap, too
fanfic often focuses on the physical pain of that space - it's cramped, it's cold, there's spikes, he can't breathe, etc. and that's definitely there, he definitely feels it, but it's layer one of this spiral
no, what hurts a lot more, is being cut off from other people
and of course it does! dream may be kind of a loner when it comes to actually socialising, he can be sullen and moody and all of that, but he's never actually alone. he can't be, he's literally made out of everyone's subconscious, every thought anyone's ever had is passing through him at all times. that's his purpose, to manage and direct all that - i'd say it's second nature but i think in this case it actually qualifies as first nature. he may not always notice it or be conscious of it, he has the library so he can file that stuff away, but for most of his life he has had every single living mind in his head, constantly talking and thinking and dreaming
until now. the combination of the sphere and binding circle burgess set up is designed to keep dream's physical form in that basement, and cut him off from anything that exists outside of it. cut him off even from the people guarding him. both of these prisons meant that, for the first time ever, dream didn't have all that background noise that makes up who he is. it should be physically impossible for him to be alone, by his very nature if he's alone he's not really dream of the endless anymore
but both these prisons managed it
no wonder that's more overwhelming than physical pain, no wonder he believes he's going to die here, it's like you've torn out all his senses and a good half of his brain along with them with him still awake and conscious to process that happening
the black hole looked like nothing, it was made of nothing, so at least that's only jarring in how absent it is. but what must the world have looked like from inside that sphere, when all of the ways you normally process the world have been torn from you? do you even see what people look like physically, or do they appear to you as collections of stories and thoughts and hopes? and what, then, must it feel like, when now you can only see the physical. does anyone here even register as a person?
how alien must the world have looked? and how loud was that silence?
#of course then his older brother frees him from the black hole and he immediately goes i was fiiiiiiine i didn't need your heeelllppp#okay dream 'this place will prove my end' endless you definitely had this one handled#sandman comic spoilers#dream of the endless#mine#meta#overture#the sandman
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It’s so funny to be lazily ambiguous with gender and sexuality in real life because most people are like oh that’s a butch lesbian. Because I am lazy. And because I only clear things up with vetted friends and literally do not care about pronouns and names and have had different names/pronouns in different circles etc. and they see my men’s attire and the fact that I haven’t binded (bound?) in years and my short hair has long grown out. And then they tell on themselves and their own lazy heuristics when I talk about liking a man that it either a) takes them visibly aback and they have to stumble over themselves to pretend they’re not shocked or b) straight up think I’m joking and continue to believe I’m a butch lesbian. And the craziest thing is other queer people like somehow often worse about this despite this sort of idea that they have of themselves that they don’t assume anyone’s gender/sexuality and that they don’t tie ideas of androgyny to a flat chest and that they do believe that pretty extreme gender fluidity can and does exist and that everyone’s experience with gender is unique. And then there’s all sorts of shit where if I don’t feel like explaining/justifying the fact that I feel my concept of identity and self shift at such a glacial pace that it’s not worth establishing a conventional nonbinary or transgender identity (that conforms to the accepted experience, timeline, and desired considerations) in public, beyond my trusted friends who are chill about deviant experiences within the queer norm, I’m just one of them theyfabs claiming to be queer for clout. Ugh anyways it’s crazy to be one of the few people on the planet who needs to occasionally come out as what may appear at the outset as straight. I’m literally not a lesbian and no one ever ever stops to think I might not be. But I’ve had so many profound experiences with women and within that sort of community that I do feel such a strong affinity there, and in an ideal world would love to be something like a he/him lesbian. But I’m not a lesbian. Because I like men!! Despite only ever having been with women!!! And it also is so funny to me that were I to enter into a relationship with a man I would be considered completely and entirely cishet despite my extensive experiences within the gay community and specifically the lesbian community. Who would accept me with open arms if I’d ended up permanently with one of the women I’ve been with!! But I remain steadfast in my convictions that I do not need to explain myself to anyone. And truly I do not care in the least what people assume about me, I’m a very private person for whom open identity is not important and I’m literally way too chill to care. But it’s just continuously funny to have to come out as not a lesbian. How many dozens of times have I had to be like “actually I am not a homosexual”. Literally the opposite experience of most LGBTeeeees I’ve just got that deeply intensely masculine swag for real that the effect lasts even when my hair gets down to like shoulder length. And it’s like, even though I am perceived as female, albeit a queer one, I have had literally every single one of the stereotypical experiences of the ‘knew I was transgender from early childhood’ archetype and that’s just supposed to be completely invalid because I decided not to medically transition due to the spans of time I have where my identity shifts and I know I’m not qualified to pick one of the three acceptable genders for the rest of my life? And I understand the broader community’s frustration with certain aspects of hegemony re: people whose identities are snidely referred to as “theyfabs” and bisexual women in LTRs with men HOWEVER im just so tiredddddddddddd of the condescension, and lazy heuristics I notice in queer people’s treatment of me and assumptions about me. Anyways thanks 2 the gay people in my phone for letting me be amorphous and being so so chill about it. I mean it probably helps that you can’t see my genuinely gargantuan and unbindable breasts from my posts. But christ man it’s just exhausting lol
#sorry. guess who just had to say the sentence ‘actually I’m not a lesbian! no worries though’ out loud for the 4000009th time#also#which is why if you’ve noticed me use every single term under the sun for myself it’s because ummmm I am like everything and nothing#and if you hate theyfabs and bisexuals then just unfollow me and let’s live in our separate worlds. life is too short to justify yourself#to everyone I’m straight up just chilling#like sorry my hair is long. is that hard for you to understand in your toddler’s conception of boys and girls#ok now back to ur regularly scheduled apathy and ignoring of all discourse infighting and identity gatekeeping lol
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Internverse (RC9GN AU) [Name Subject to Change]
Lovely timezone, my dreamers!
So, I blame the constant brainrot I have somehow developed for a ridiculously dead fandom (but we continue to exist lol). The idea, however, is not entirely my own and I do have to give credit where its due (it simply wouldn't be possible without @7-inches-of-satanic-panic having made a post about it and i simply decided to write something for it!)
Now, to explain this AU- canon divergent storyline- it mostly follows McFist and Viceroy (it was Viceroy pfft) coming up with a new plan on capturing the ninja which leads to them creating an internship program in an attempt to unmask the city's 'vigilante'. By the power of well-placed plot logic, and because well, it'd honestly fit the theme- Randy's accepted as an intern and begins working at McFist Industries as he's using the opportunity to figure out the evil duo's next steps but of course, the question remains: what happens if he gets caught?
Unable to easily back out, Randy is left having to complete the internship and if he happens to be enjoying himself a little, that would be a lie- what are you talking about?
Now everything after this is my own interpretation!
Everything takes a sudden turn because Randy isn't exactly the most qualified, but at the same time- i feel he does have some range of skills that McFist and Viceroy could be interested in. ADHD! Randy taking an interest in math for instance? Absolutely, but now he's literally interning for his archenemies and for the time being, the Sorcerer isn't as major of a villain as he would be in the canon; anyway, moving on-
Randy doesn't really seem to find anything amiss and mostly spends his time interning under Viceroy as McFist is, well, McFist- but things get interesting when he (Randy) ends up in the radar of McFist who's a bit suspicious and comes to the conclusion that Randy might be the Ninja due to the type of slang he uses- (which becomes dismissed by Viceroy because apparently Randy is a bit clumsy, and how could someone like that ever be the Ninja, amirite? /lh)
Though I also like to imagine at least Randy and Viceroy bond because, well, who wouldn't be slightly interested in the new technology Viceroy's developed for video games? Honestly- this might be partially inspired by me having read other AU's where Viceroy sort of adopts Randy and I will get my dues with this pfft, but anyway-
At some point, things get tense because Randy mysteriously vanishes when a robot attacks the city, and now has to come up with a plausible excuse to why he left McFist Industries-
(author's cut: i might either write this as a long one-shot or it's going to be a multi-chaptered work where it explores dynamics a little bit more and may gain more 'lore' behind it so to speak)
Headcanons + Thoughts
~ To fit the theme a little, Randy is something of a math prodigy- though it's not something he made an effort in showing before and it's due to this he's accepted into the internship program
~ Personally the program is only meant to last the course of a single month since it's mostly to unravel the Ninja's identity, but things kind of... derail- because Randy does have his skills and Viceroy's curious
~ Randy is peak ADHD in this; I can cover everything about it in a separate post (but basically- he can't sit still for longer than five minutes and is always fidgeting with something)
~ McFist isn't a total idiot and he suspects something strange about Randy, but it's mostly him realizing that Randy uses the same sort of slang as the Ninja- even attempting to bring this idea to Viceroy, though it's not enough
~ All of the expenses are paid for- including lodging in order to make the internship seem more legitimate (and it is, it's also a ploy to capture the Ninja but no one needs to know that)
~ Bash and Randy? We'll see where this goes, but they'll definitely have interactions with Bash being McFist's stepson and well, Randy's interning so they're bound to see each other repeatedly
~ the Sorcerer isn't an overarching element in this as he would be in canon, but he might get cameos- or it's something introduced in the second half of the series to keep things interesting, genuinely we'll have to see
~ if there is going to be reveal, I honestly want the suddenly dawning realization that the Ninja is a teenager- that it's not something to be taken lightly, and while McFist may honestly ignore it, Viceroy certainly will not (and that's all I'm saying on the matter right now)
~ what lesson am i going to be using for this? i'm honestly on the fence of whether i use a preexisting one, or if this is going to be something entirely new Randy's facing-
~ for the sake of how things are going to run, Randy's family is absent during this- i do think he either lives with another relative (half-credit to @7-inches-of-satanic-panic since it's possible it could be an aunt acting as his surrogate mom? or the hc i've talked about before- that his parents are just constantly working and busy, and tend to neglect Randy a lot)
Under-the-Cut Information (+ Thoughts)
I am definitely treating this as a more lighthearted story, but there's going to be serious elements because there isn't a single way that Randy's completely fine being the Ninja and sure, he does love it, though there's got to be an emotional toll happening he isn't realizing (we've seen this in canon, it isn't out of the realm of possibility)
I do want to say that I am using neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ headcanons and elements in this piece, and if that's going to be a problem- please, find something else to read
I'm going to explore the depth of Randy's personality as he genuinely should've gotten more development and I felt his character had a weird... switch during the second season-? Like, it still felt like him but he also could be a massive jerk for seemingly no reason and then regret his actions as if this isn't the most adhd coded kid i have ever seen in my life, it would explain a lot
might play around with character designs? i'm not sure yet honestly-
currently the au will be titled intern randy au until further notice, so if you want to follow the story- the tag is #internrandyau
That is all I've got for now!
Mod Danny (They/Them)
#randy cunningham 9th grade ninja#rc9gn#rc9gn au#randy cunningham#hannibal mcfist#willem viceroy#rc9gn randy#rc9gn mcfist#rc9gn viceroy#internrandyau#intern au#alternate universe#alternate reality#adoptive parent viceroy?#it's more likely than you think#randy interns for mcfist industries#fanfiction#fanfic#ao3 fanfic#currently in wip#work in progress
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You’re focused on one specific aspect of my ask and missing the bigger, more important partof the picture, which is that the way plurality is typically represented online hinders people from seeking a DID diagnosis because they do not relate to that depiction and this can be damaging. Plurality is a subjective experience. To argue that it boils down to semantics is … well, it is a nonsense argument. It is in no one’s right to tell another person how to identify.
The depiction of plurality can be incredibly confusing and upsetting for someone receiving a DID diagnosis, who may feel uncomfortable giving parts names or identifying ages. It may not be an experience that feels right to them, and that is OK. Healing is not one size fits all. Quit talking like you understand the experience. You might think you do, but you don’t.
Honestly, you really could benefit from some humility.
I think there's "plurality" as an identity label, and then there's "plurality" as a defined experience.
As an identity label, anyone can opt in or out as they choose. If you want to call yourself plural, do it! If you don't feel comfortable doing so, then don't!
But for "plurality" as a defined experience... this I think is more objective, and I think there are many people who would qualify as plural who may not identify with the label. (For example, I've discussed before how the methods the Vineyard Evangelicals use to create a God to talk to in their minds is almost identical to tulpamancy.)
I'm not saying how people should identify, just saying that their experiences still fall under the umbrella of being many in one..
...
But can we step back away from plurality as a label and talk about it as a community? Because personally, I don't really like your framing of the plural community here, and I don't think it's particularly fair.
Because, at least in the plural communities I've been in, it's okay to have less-defined headmates.
I mean, the entire concept of median systems, or midcontinuum systems as they used to be called, was to denote systems who might not identify as fully multiple, and will exist in this sort of gray area. But plurality is a more inclusive umbrella term that encompasses both median and multiple systems.
And while the plural community isn't perfect, I think it generally provides a positive environment for systems across the plural spectrum.
Finally...
the way plurality is typically represented online hinders people from seeking a DID diagnosis because they do not relate to that depiction and this can be damaging.
This feels more like a psychiatry problem to me.
In an ideal world, patients should just be going to an educated professional who knows enough to correctly diagnose the problem. Nobody should need to seek a DID diagnosis, and if a patient needs to educate themselves on a disorder online and then try to convince a doctor they have it, that signals that the psychiatric institutions are the ones failing.
And I really don't see how this is an issue with the plural community or plural label. Venture into TikTok, and you'll see most of the people there are anti-endos who don't identify with the plural community. Yet they have tons of distinct alters with their own names, genders, ages, etc.
#syscourse#pro endogenic#pro endo#systems#sysblr#plural#plurality#multiplicity#psychiatry#actually a system#actually plural
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Hey there! I get most of my bl recs from this blog, and I was reading through your Minato's Laundromat watch along post. I was going to watch it but the age gap really messes me up? In Old Fashion Cupcake they have a large age gap but they're still both adults. I suppose it's because of my own past, but a 17 year old with a 27 year old makes me uncomfortable. Would you be okay with the same age gap if it was irl, or only in fiction? Please take no offence to this question, btw, I'm trying to figure out if I should watch it or not.
Age Gap & BL - Taboo, Morality, Teenagers & Laundromats
Ooo, age gap. Well this might just be another JBL whips ABL into a verbal frenzy situation. You ready?
Age gap is one of those tropes that edges into taboo, so like the stepbrothers trope, you may have internalized trauma or cultural conditioning around it.
You may never be able to watch these kinds of BLs no matter what I say or what Japan does about it. And that’s fine! Please know your own limits.
Some of us have baggage around childhood, and allowing children to be children, and adults interfacing with children, and age of consent, and sexual awakening and maturity.
But it means to talk about the romantic and erotic nature of an age gap romance, we gotta talk about culture for a moment.
When does a child become an adult?
Certain cultures have a more fixed age of consent than others. Japan’s, as I talk about in my Coin watch along post, is more flexible than the USA, for example.
Anthropologically speaking, this is something to examine about yourself. What constitutes “growing up” to you?
Is it a fixed line you cross (like a birthday) - what we would call ascribed status, or is is a thing you earn = achieved status? Is it wisdom or education?
In some places, it’s the moment a biological woman gets her period or after a biological man’s voice breaks.
In others, it’s the moment she puts on a head scarf or lengthens her skirt.
It’s the moment he kills his first big game or weaves feathers into his hair.
In some places, it centers around controlling procreation and the feminine.
In others, it is about protection and the fear of youth being exploited.
In others, it’s about a transition from one role in the group to another new role in society.
Everywhere it is about crossing a threshold.
How big is that threshold, how wide that line? How much time does it occupy in our cultural consciousness? This is what teen’s grapple with. That liminal space between childhood and adulthood. How frustrating to have to exist there. How necessary to form cohesive identity. How do they know, how do we know, when they have crossed through and come out the other side?
Who decides this for you? Who decides this ABOUT you? The government? The legal system? The family unit? Yourself? Your religion? A big fuck-off party?
Why 18? Why 21? Why can 18 not fuck 17 but can fuck 21? Did you feel ready to date, to have sex, when you were 18? Or were you ready before that, after, never? Is sexuality even really an indication of adultness to you?
Would I be okay with the same age gap if it was irl, or only in fiction?
My personal perspective:
I’ve talked about this before but I came into sexual identity and desire very early, but I didn’t really date or have sex until comparatively late, and it took me longer than that to unearth my own kinks and queerness.
My parents were very permissive and I knew how to be safe and so I could have done anything I wanted to, probubly from 14 on, which is one of the reasons I didn’t.
I’ve dated up to 10 years older, and over 10 years younger, but always individuals who were qualified as legal adults by any standards.
I do think there are plenty of people too young for sex, by any definition. Certainly plenty of 18 year olds too young for it.
I am personally squicked out by the idea of engaging in any level of intimacy with much younger lovers at this point in my life. It seems like too much work and boring and also a little gross.
But I also believe in giving children responsibility, discipline, autonomy, freedom, and high functioning tasks. I do not agree with helicopter parenting or infantilization. I had my first job when I was 10. Outside the home. I liked it. I learned a lot. I traveled internationally alone for the first time when I was 8. This skews my perspective on what it means to be mature.
Would I be okay with 17 + 27 IRL?
Probubly not but it would depend on the power dynamic. If class, culture, finances, and/or gender made it clear the older person was calling all the shots while being in the position of power, I would be highly uncomfortable. I might even interfere. (If there’s a sugar daddy relationship going on I would probubly make inquiries as to the nature of the contract, and that the younger sub understood their dynamic properly. In the D/s world I do think Dominants have a responsibility to oversee other Dominants for abuse patterns.)
In fiction, I am thinking of Alexis Hall’s For Real which is an excellent gay romance about a large age, wealth, life, experience, EVERYTHING gap where the Dom is a young college age kid and the sub is an established doctor. It’s brilliant and it tackles many of these things. I highly recommend it.
Fiction allows for a certain amount of suspension of disbelief. Also it allows us to see into intimacy in a way we ordinarily can’t outside of our own lives.
Shin is younger but he is also VERY MUCH the aggressor. He makes all the first moves. They have not kissed, at these ages, and I do not think they will.
I’m going to ask you a question.
How would this age dynamic make you feel if it were say: man 18 & woman 28, and he’s a freshman in college and she’s in a comfortingly genderized service job, say waitress? How about if he is a young CEO and she’s his secretary?
Is part of the discomfort coming from the gayness? (Because in the west there is a long history of cultural association between gay & pedophile which is very insidious and his impacted the queer community quite severely, it may be acting on your subconscious.)
Is part of the discomfort coming from the life state? High School. Is leaving high school actually a conference of maturity, or just a societal excuse we westerners use to sluff off our filial responsibility to our youth?
Is it all about the fixed age? Is there really that a big a jump between 17 and 18 or does it just make us feel better because certain laws say 18 = adult?
It’s worth making yourself uncomfortable with thought experiments around this dynamic to try to understand why you feel this way. After all, you gave me a thought experiment, I’m just returning the favor.
But honestly this is part of Coin’s point. To make you think about what it means to be adult and mature. To make you uncomfortable as a watcher.
Cupcake versus Coin
Okay the interesting thing about comparing Old Fashion Cupcake (AKA Cupcake) to Minato’s Laundromat (AKA Coin) is that they are actually quite similar.
Younger seme by 10 years is the one doing the pursuing.
Older uke behaves in a childish and flirtatious manner as part of his personality.
Both semes are clearly sexually frustrated.
Both have pined for a decade.
Both narratives are from Japan.
But in Cupcake the age gap almost amusing. Especially to some of us. That the characters are even worried about this kind of age gap, at their age? It’s silly. Why?
Well, the age gap is there, but really these two are at the same life stage, so it’s not the driver of the story. Emotional maturity is. Learning how to love and appreciate yourself (and what time has beaten you into) so you can be open to affection and sensation and life. Togawa is defined by his willingness to participate in all the world has to offer - those HAMSTER cheeks, are a way of showing his unconsciousness indulgence in sensation. While Nozue is defined by his careful withdrawal, his unwillingness to participate, to take risks, and his own self-hatred and sadness because he KNOWS, he is mature enough to realize, that he did this to himself.
Neither Minato nor Shin are mature in this regard. Both characters are not self aware. Both characters lack emotional IQ. Shin is incapable of teaching Minato how to open himself back up to affection, because Shin does not have enough life experience to empathize with why Minato ran away and shut down in the first place.
Shin is too young. He thinks he would never run. He thinks love is the answer. He thinks love is enough.
It’s never is.
Minato’s Laundromat is a high school student paired with a grown (if immature) man. Same character dynamics as Cupcake. Same age gap as Cupcake. But this narrative must face its age gap head on. And that’s why it’s making people uncomfortable.
Japan is using to Coin tackle notions of maturity but not just sexual awakening and desire, but how maturity translates to emotional intelligence and ownership of self.
Both characters are mature in certain ways.
Shin is the eldest of a large family, he’s basically raised his siblings, he’s taught himself to cook, he’s driven in his studies, he wants to become a doctor. He knows how to be a boyfriend, or he thinks he does. He knows what he desires. He knows how to ask and he knows how to flirt. Shin knows who he is and what he wants and that is mature, but also he is performing the role of a seme as he thinks it’s supposed to be undertaken. He is acting the role of the boyfriend that he has read about in his comic books, it’s not (yet) natural to him, the way it is to Togawa. But he doens’t realize this because he’s too young.
Minato has two failed relationships behind him and a failed career. He knows what it is to hurt. He knows things don’t work out. He knows wanting a thing is not the same as having it and holding on. He has found his way to a kind of peace, and kind of inertia. Unlike Nozue, he is genuinely happy, he’s not at all lost, but he is hiding, and he is scared. But this he knows about himself. Minato is hiding that he is gay, he is acting in a way to fit back into his home, but at heart he is an open and honest person, naturally kind and gregarious, so he too is acting, performing a role, it’s just he knows it.
Both Cupcake and Coin are about bravery, but in the one case we have a clear model example of how to be brave, an end goal, and it is Togawa. In the other we have conflict over bravery, because it means something different when you are at different life stages.
Shin can be as brave as humanly possible, and he is constantly putting himself out there, constantly asking and begging and pushing Minato to give in to their desires. But while that may be a model of courage, it is not safe for Minato. Minato’s bravery is in resisting. Is in not giving in. And it will eventually be in hurting Shin to drive him away. Even lying to Shin about his feelings.
Shin cannot be trusted because he is too young. For no other reason. The age gap is the problem because of life experience. This story isn’t really about whether it’s “okay” for them to sleep together because that is just not going to happen, no matter what Shin thinks. And any perceptive watcher with know this. (Also this is not dark JBL, dark JBL would have gone there.)
Minato may be immature but he has a fixed moral compass. This story isn’t about that or sacrificing self for desire, those kinds of discourses are left to the older BLs and noona romances, Japan has already tackled it. They’re moving on.
Shin can only be brave, it’s all he knows to try. He cannot be patient. He cannot give up. Minato can only be a coward, it’s all he’s ever been. His only experience is in taking a risk and hurting himself, or taking a risk by betraying his own identity and hurting others.
Minato sees only one outcome: hurt, either his pain or Shin’s. His maturity will be in realizing that the right thing to do will hurt both of them. But for now he remains in limbo, unable to lie and say “I don’t want Shin,” because he is an honest person and he does want Shin.
But also unable to say yes because everything in him is screaming that even if it were right, this is the wrong time. Shin is, by any measure, too young. Minato’s instinct is to run, but he has already run to his hometown and laundromat for safety. And now Shin is challenging him in that space too.
This is what makes this show so tense. We know Minato will not crumble, but the challenge is constant and it is real. And it makes us all, including Minato and Shin, feel unsafe.
Shin is making Minato’s place of refuge unsafe. Minato has nowhere else to go. That’s why this show it titled the way it is.
The laundromat is being used as a metaphor for Minato’s life state.
That’s why each ep always opens and closes on the laundromat. That’s why Shin in ALWAYS depicted in doorways. Between inside and out, one room and another.
Shin is shown coming inside Minato’s spaces.
Shin is desperate to be invited into Minato’s home.
Minato goes outside the building to confront Shin.
Shin waits on the threshold, fainting from heatstroke. Because... he cannot wait.
Because Shin is a teenager, his is in that liminal time of life. He is neither child nor adult. He is himself the spirit of transition. This series is using him occupying thresholds as a metaphor for his life state. He is both AT a threshold and IS a threshold.
Shin is in motion, trying to fit, trying to occupy Minato’s space. In and out of the doorways of Minato’s safe little life, his laundromat. Minato who is ahead of him, settled, hiding under blankets, tending to his machines, embraced by his community, home.
Shin thinks Minato is his home. Is his destination.
And the horror of this show is that there is a distinct possibility that Shin is right.
Minato knows this.
And so do we.
It’s just this is not the right time. Shin hasn’t had a journey yet. You can’t come home, if you never leave it. And you can’t appreciate it, if you never go. That’s the nature of growing up.
Shin may have found his nest. But is it his, if he never learned to fly?
So it is Minato we must trust not to make a mistake. Because Shin is absolutely going to. Shin has put Minato in the position of having to push him out of the nest and watch him fall. Watch him get hurt. Watch him fly away. Minato who actually wants to be the safety net, who saves children from drowning, who wants so desperately to be loved. Minato is going to have to act in a way that is not only disingenuous to his own character, but that he knows Shin will see as a betrayal. Minato is going to have to hope that Shin will go away and grow up and realize that such a betrayal was actually an act of love.
Wether you like this show will depend on whether you trust Minato to do that. Or trust the narrative.
So I can’t answer whether you should watch it yet, because i don’t know. I do trust it. But this is Japan, they always surprise me.
(source)
#japanese bl#flipping heck i have a lot to say these days#JBL#adapted from a manga#live action yaoi#ShinMinato#Old Fashion Cupcake#Old Fashioned Cupcake#Minato Shoji Koinrandori#Minato Shoji Coin Laundry#Minato Shouji Coin Laundry#Minato’s Laundromat#age gap romances
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been spinning my wheels again about whether or not i'm autistic
it would explain. so many things. and i feel like a lot of my experiences make so much more sense with that lens of processing the world applied to it
like at this point i've got over a decade of scattered research and reading trying to figure this shit out, including results from a smattering of self-report assessments where almost all of them place me in the autistic scoring range
but more recently all that's brought me to like. the emotional intensity of the autistic experience seems like a pretty crucial piece of the picture and i don't think i really meet that?? things like, i'm a highly empathetic person, but i don't think it's autistic high empathy, not debilitating like my high school friend who once started crying because i was describing an animal video to them. i have a hard time crying actually, it's something i do very infrequently. that's just one more specific example but just like in general, from what i can see the burning overwhelming intensity of emotion is kind of a really big part of the autistic experience, and i don't think i'm there, or at least not there with enough regularity for it to be like A Thing
and like i don't think i've ever had an experience that would fit the description of an autistic meltdown, or an autistic shutdown. i mean, maybe some of my experiences could fit into descriptions of a shutdown, but idk if the same intensity is there, and even if it is the frequency seems way too, well, infrequent to qualify. anything that might fit the description of a meltdown i think would be much better described as just a plain ol' emotional breakdown. and along the same lines i don't think i've ever experienced what would be called sensory overload
like even as a child i don't think the slipper fits on this stuff, i was perhaps a bit more emotionally intense than my peers but not like my autistic childhood best friend was, i didn't even really have tantrums that could have been mislabelled meltdowns
but there's so much other stuff that just makes so much sense. [i had a whole huge paragraph here but i've cut it and put it under the readmore at the bottom to cut length]
there's more. it's a lot. i've been adding things to this paragraph for at least 20 minutes now, maybe closer to 30. like there's a very good reason that i am still on this research thread after so many years. i just can't shake that i could be reading it all wrong
like all of the stuff i talk about causing me stress or whatever, i'm getting the sense that it's not with the same intensity as the autistic experience of that stress. like it really stresses me out yeah, but like. not enough maybe??????????? and that's kind of the thing with most of these traits i guess, i'm questioning whether i actually experience them with enough frequency and intensity that they would fall under autistic experiences
and like, i'm not going to seek professional assessment, because even with a diagnosis i don't know what that would do for me as an adult. the accommodations i got in school for my chronic illness covered any time i needed accommodations for brain reasons while i was in school, not like i plan on going back. and idk what i could even ask from a professional working environment
and at the end of the day if i'm not even seeking that what does it matter???? like can i not just exist as i am and keep using the tools that help me regardless of whether or not i may qualify as Diagnosably Autistic? i guess it all comes down to like, i don't want to water down what autism means by calling myself autistic if that's not really it. it would just be really nice to know why these things are hard and know there's a community of people who understand that. it just feels like if that's not it then what have i been doing wrong? if that's not it what am i doing wrong?? bluh
the childhood bullying and being confused as to why people didn't like me, the intense social anxiety in high school, struggling to start and end conversations that don't serve a logistical purpose, difficulty maintaining or initiating small-talk, how fucking hard it is to maintain friendships especially over time and distance, forgetting to fucking talk to people lol, literally all of the close friendships i've ever had being with people who are autistic or adhd or both, all of those people looping me in as neurodivergent without me even saying anything about it, my ex who said that when they were confused and frustrated trying to figure out what the fuck my deal was and complaining to their mom the two of them would use autism as a lens to talk out what the fuck my deal was and it was genuinely very helpful lmaooooo, my general inclination towards just telling the truth and how stressed i get about lying and dishonesty, the 'picky eating', the chewing the shit out of my lip, constant fiddling with my clothes and jewellery, being a 'high-energy child' (my mother's words) aka hyper bouncing off the walls, the specific noises that made me cover my ears and run away as a child (ripping up the bathmat and the sound of the vhs rewinder going really fast), the amount of stress i feel in unpredictable situations or when plans change unexpectedly or when i'm not prepared for a situation, how untethered i feel without some semblance of routine, the empty state of my brain when plans change and i don't know what to do with myself lol, how stressed the thought of not being in control of myself or being in an uncontrollable environment makes me, my systematizing and sorting and categorizing and organizing, when i learned what even numbers were as a child and immediately thought "those are my favourite numbers because they can be divided neatly", how i often speak in fractions and percentages, my attention to detail and noticing small details others don't (and sometimes having to pretend i don't notice things so i don't come across as 'nitpicking' or 'creepy'), researching and researching and researching for the smallest decisions, being overwhelmed with excessive options and just shutting down and not doing anything, general excessive indecisiveness, my god the fucking 'procrastination' on school assignments and communications and fun things that i would like to be doing, my 'literal' reading of school assignment outlines and surprise at seeing how classmates could twist the assignment and still do very well, my multi-year intense interests such as the sims 3 and homestuck and animal crossing, the fact that even when i play the sims i forget to make my sims talk to people until i realise their social meter is really low lol, how i lost so many things as a child, how if i don't have a written prioritized to-do list i tend to just faff about aimlessly and forget everything that i need to do and/or not get most or all of it done, the genetic factor of it running in both sides of my family
#spent over an hour spitting this out into a text post#it's been scratching my brain for weeks now tho#like i'd been mostly confident in my own assessment of my autism for a few years now#but the last few months. idk. it's about the Frequency and Intensity#it's really been bothering me#kinda culminating in the last few days thinking specifically about the meltdowns and shutdowns and sensory overload stuff#idk! idk#thoughts are welcome tbh especially if u are actually autistic#personal
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F1 drivers as equestrian disciplines
—an important analysis from a horse girl at heart
If you don't know shit about horseback riding, that's honestly great and I hope you can learn a thing or two from my brainrot.
Charles Leclerc: Show jumping
What’s more iconic than a good old obstacle course with dozens of sponsors plastered every five feet? Aside from Il Predestinato’s very marketable image (Longines is actually a huge sponsor in the industry and they make watches, so,,) I feel like this discipline perfectly reflects his skills as a driver. His raw talent makes him a ferocious threat over the course of one lap and his intelligence is an incredible asset to calculate the best trajectory and angles of attack. Show jumping is thrilling, stressful, and makes you hold your breath until the very last second—just like a good qualifying lap. I feel like Charles would love the attention of doing victory laps around the arena with one fist in the air before spraying everyone with champagne.
Lewis Hamilton: Dressage
I actually had to rethink this one and wonder whether or not I’d picked this discipline because he was British, but I think my point still stands. This man lives for his sport and for the crowds, and I honestly think that as long as his ass is in a car he would drive laps around an empty track all day. Dressage is majestic, it’s prestigious, regal, and the epitome of elegance. This discipline accepts nothing less than excellence and the judges are notorious for being extremely picky, rarely ever giving the maximum score to a movement. It may not look as impressive as show jumping and its counterparts, but it is undeniably just as intense. The goal is to make it seem effortless, like the rider is dancing with their horse and everything else has stopped existing. And look—we all know Lewis is a fashion icon, that one person everyone can’t help but look at when they enter the room. That’s what dressage feels like. It’s classy, sophisticated, sometimes a little bit pretentious—in short, the one that lives under the spotlights. I also think it’s too big of a coincidence that Isabell Werth—the most successful dressage rider of all time—holds the Olympic record of seven gold medals in all equestrian disciplines.
(Also: Nico gets the same assignment ;))
Lando Norris: Show jumping
Something about this guy reminds me of that one friend at the stables that would be there every competition weekend and whose biggest dream was to participate in the Olympics. And yes, that applies to the entire grid, but it feels more prominent for Lando who’s younger and a bit less experienced than some of the older drivers. I don’t want to call it innocence (especially because it must be long gone after five years at McLaren) but there’s something about him that hits you right in the feels and reminds you about the dreams you gave up on. He’s got the drive of a winner and a fun energy that I think suits show jumping quite well. I feel like sponsors would adore him and try to put his face everywhere—probably in an attempt to refresh their image.
Max Verstappen: Eventing
Intense, unforgiving, and hella dangerous, eventing is the perfect discipline for thrill-seekers and people who dislike staying in the same daily grind. Which is funny because we’re talking about Max Verstappen, the guy who spends all of his days glued to his sim chair, but let me explain. The strenuous nature of eventing doesn’t necessarily come from the exercises themselves but from the way they are arranged one after the other with little time to rest in between. This equestrian triathlon often takes place over three days: one day for dressage, one day for cross-country, and one day for show jumping. The goal is to challenge the athletes’ resilience and stamina with various tests. The first one, dressage, determines the ability of the rider to keep their horse in control and perform a series of movements in a relaxed manner. Cross-country is a test of strength. The athletes have to power through an outdoor course of around thirty natural obstacles within a given time range, while making sure that they are saving energy for the third day. Finally, show jumping requires precision and fitness, which—combined with all of the other skills required by eventing—make this discipline the most complete and challenging of all, and therefore the most suitable to our reigning champion imo. As much as I would rather praise other drivers, Max genuinely seems like he never has a bad day and just… knocks it out of the park every single time. And trust me, that’s not something you see often in any kind of sport. Besides, I can easily picture him covered in water and mud, galloping through the forest like a cannonball.
Lance Stroll: Polo
Polo is expensive, classy, luxurious—what more is there to say? Lance would make a great polo player, as long as he’s got the team spirit and isn’t afraid to potentially lose his kneecaps.
Zhou Guanyu: Hunter
Hunter is basically the athleticism of show jumping mixed with the elegance of dressage. The horse/rider combination is judged on their style and technique, and that also comes down to presentation. Both athletes must look neat and well-groomed and have excellent manners throughout the competition. As opposed to show jumping, which can get quite… extravagant at times, hunter isn’t about being the fastest. It’s about who’s got the best equitation and achieves the cleanest performance possible, and that’s why I think Zhou would absolutely slay in this discipline. (Note that my judgement isn’t actually based on his abilities as a driver but rather on his incredible outfits which I KNOW is awfully subjective, but I never claimed to be right in the first place.)
BONUS
Sebastian Vettel
I think Sebastian could have had a career in show jumping before realizing that it wasn’t his thing at all and he retired to do endurance or some western discipline, before getting dragged back into the industry by Charles Leclerc who quickly became his protégé. Although Seb is no longer competing, he’s basically Charles’s mentor and has a ton of tricks up his sleeve from his time as an Olympic rider. He’s actively against horse racing and when he’s not busy coaching, he probably likes to run off somewhere more peaceful—like in a farm lost in the depths of the countryside.
#has anyone thought about this before or am i insane#seb being in this is so much funnier knowing that he used to name his cars#horse racing isn't included because it sucks <3#charles leclerc#lewis hamilton#lando norris#max verstappen#lance stroll#zhou guanyu#sebastian vettel#horse girl
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Here’s a little text (would barely qualify as an essay) about saint Adeline and sister Adella and their parallels :) excuse the way it looks I’m really not feeling like making it read like a proper essay but either way it’s something I have a lot of thoughts about. Also talks about oedon and kos a bit as well as obvioulsy blood saints as a whole.
The parallels between adeline and adella is something ive written about many times before, but i thought it would be interesting to see how much that train of thought has evolved since the last few times.
Both being the only known blood saints that we get to speak to, they’ve already got a lot in common by simply juxtaposing them in their role. It is mentionned adeline was one of the very first of their kind, which along with her relationship to maria helps us situate her in the vague timeline of events. thus it seems this practice started “with her” and has carried on throughout the years, perhaps perfected until now. not much is explicitly stated about blood saints and the meaning of this title, but we can theorize a few things. firstly, we know saints are chosen for their potential as vessels before actively undergoing some kind of blood treatment, i usually take their “merit as vessels” to be akin to choosing them for their blood type (O), since their blood needs to be universally compatible with all followers and hunters of the church. however, more factors may very much play into this as the worldbuilding of bloodborne puts a lot of attention in showing how blood differs, from “tainted” villagers close to beasthood, to pure enlightened kin (interestingly, adeline’s blood vial is much clearer than adella’s. this could be due to taking the blood directly from her arm, but since it is also clearer than arianna’s, who we see directly drawing it, i believe it is a nod to her state of almost ascension, kin having transparent fluid as blood). thus there is a possibility the healing church seeks an inherent ability to be swayed by the will of great ones. indeed, our two blood saints have had that very thing happen to them, in perfectly opposite ways; adeline ascends through contact with a great one, most likely kos, and adella succumbs to blooddrunkenness under oedon’s influence. There is more however to this, as oedon itself is said to be found in blood; it is formless and exists only in voice, but blood is said to be seen as its essence and thus inherently linked to it. oedon’s worshippers are described as “inadvertent”, more haunted by it than worshipping it, and adella is no exception. perhaps her predisposition to being swayed to the will of great ones is what drew oedon to her, as well as her indoctrination to the church’s propaganda against vilebloods; indeed, oedon seeks precious blood and seems to be particularly fond of the cainhurst bloodline: all oedon runes are mechanically based on increasing your means of using quicksilver, said to be imbued in blood and linked to the bloodtinge stat. Cainhurst descendants and vilebloods all have greatly increased bloodtinge, leading to their control over it. what is worth noting in this is that quicksilver is actually mercury, so vilebloods would have “naturally” high levels of mercury poisoning in their system, what oedon seems to be seeking and what its runes turn into bullets. interestingly, high mercury levels in a person leads to pregnancy complications and endangers the life of children, often leading to their death before or soon after birth, which can be linked to many things, oedon’s interest in it, arianna bearing its child despite being a cainhurst descendant, as well as annalise’s obsession with birthing her child of blood, which she requires other hunters’ blood in order to do. i am of the opinion that by branding “followers”, oedon is overseeing their blood itself, seeking the perfect kind it needs to reproduce. however, those who did not meet its requirements end up falling prey to that growing desire to seek that very same blood subconsciously, which led adella to killing arianna.
To go back on a previous statement, most sources of mercury poisoning in humans can be traced to fish and seafood consumption; infime traces of mercury, occurring naturally or though man made waste, finds its way up the ocean’s food chain, resulting in very high concentrations in bigger fish and predators. for instance, whales are one of the biggest sources of mercury ingestion, which we can link to the fishing hamlet itself and in particular kos. mercury accumulates in particular in viscera, and kos’ beaching after the endless farming of phantasms and parasites by the hamlet may have parallels to this, as well as the fishing hamlet’s transformation. the fishing hamlet is actually quite reminiscent of the minamata case, in the 1950s, where a fisherman village was slowly consumed by a strange and somewhat offputting disease, until it was found out to be caused by mercury poisoning from consumption of the local fish after a local factory dumped waste in the ocean. i’ve also found one of the primary sources of oxidized mercury finding itself in the ocean to be incinerators, and as we know, yharnam is quite familiar with that practice, hemwick being a town sized crematorium right on the coast. it is also worth of note that mercury poisoning in fish leads to several issues in their systems, specifically reproductive, which once again can be linked to kos in some way and her inability to have successful offspring, as any great one. in this way, it almost seems like oedon seeking mercury would be an affront or rivalry to kos, but there is no way of knowing anything more of this, as well as the fact that great ones may not even have the same concepts of hostility as humans. either way, it places them both at opposite ends of a spectrum, and with them come their worshippers, adella and adeline.
Adella and Adeline are regional variants of the same name, often seen as stemming from old german “adal”, meaning “noble”. it could very well be a coincidence or a simple nod on the writers’ part, however there is also an interesting theory i’d like to posit. the timeline in bloodborne is quite confusing, events of the old hunters might have happened 3 years ago just as they might have been a century before the game starts. if we were to assume adeline lived decades before adella, it would be quite possible that adella was indeed named after her. i do not think adeline was ever viewed a success as a research hall experiment, since she would have died or been sent to the nightmare before ever getting to the same heights we see her as, the nightmare’s proximity to kos helping her ascension, however her blood vial’s item description mentions that she was the first success as a blood saint, and looking at how important blood saints are to the church’s entire basis, it is quite possible that this elevated her to rank of actual Saint after her death, almost a martyr to the research hall, dying for scientific advancements which resulted over the years as what we know as the celestial emmissaries. my only other argument for this idea of sainthood is another theory of mine, which is in no way perfectly “canon” but one i quite appreciate, that the blood starved beasts are blood saints. it would make quite a lot of sense for a blood saint to turn into a beast starved for blood, its entire skin flailed like a punishment or a means to draw blood. there is in old yharnam a dead blood starved beast hung above the ground in a church, in a position quite reminiscent of the way scourge beasts are crucified in central yharnam: its arms are extended and it is held by the wrists by ropes, but its entire body is torn to shreds, suggesting a bloodletting, perhaps to get rid of impure beast blood, yes, but also perhaps as a way to drink of their blood, worshippers enraptured by the idea of blood and turning on their saint, its hung position almost reminiscent of worship, the way beast patients stand under and stare at it in a pool of its blood.
Blood saints have a complicated position in the church, they are essentially the face of the healing church for commoners and simple worshippers, being the church’s link to the people, acting as nuns and vessels for blood healing, therefore it is not unlinkely that they are seen as holy and an extension of the vicars by yharnamites. however, it seems they are treated quite terribly by the church itself, said to be “groomed” as saints, perhaps psychologically as well as their treatment for worthy blood healing. indeed, both adella and adeline seem to have a lot in common in terms of personal issues, they both suffer from extreme self doubt and have this idea that they are lower, not worthy of any attention given to them. it manifest in two very separate ways for them; as they are terrified of the idea of the hunter leaving them, adella grows an unhealthy obsession for them and becomes terribly jealous of anyone else they interact with, trying her best to feel useful to them while harboring hatred to the point that odeon’s influence on her made her act out on her inner feelings and kill the object of her jealousy (although church feelings and propaganda on cainhurst also played a major role in this.) whereas adeline panics and tries to constantly assure the hunter that she can be of help, practically begging them to stay and not leave her. we can assume these behaviors are not a coincidence and are brought on by their healing church “training”, forcing them to see themselves as lesser in order to control them more easily. indeed, if blood saints were to feel pride and ego as the commonfolk worshipped them, who’s to say how easily the church would still have a grasp over them. i would consider adella to be a very recent blood saint, freshly out of her “training” (thus why she is called Sister rather than Saint. but this could also be linked to the theory of Adeline having genuine Sainthood).
Something interesting as well is that the only person adeline feels more comfortable with is someone she met long before becoming a saint, lady maria, a cainhurst noble she possibly met before cainhurst even happened to be considered impure, thus she has not been swayed by the church’s disdain of them (which was most likely brought upon for purely political reasons rather than a genuine idea of purity as they would like to enforce). adeline and adella’s very own timelines and storylines are perfect parallels to each other; bloodborne seems to follow the old theory of humanism, in which man is created as neutral by god and through its actions, may fall down to the depths and become beast-like, or climb up and ascend as godlike, posing beasts and gods are opposite ends of humanity’s spectrum. in this way, adeline and adella both start on the same path, but adella is swayed by the church and oedon, sent to a state considered as the closest thing to beasthood, before inevitably dying, whereas adeline stayed true to her failing sense of self and ended up ascending to kin, granted an audience with kos and branded a rune, the highest possible honor, before succumbing as well. in that way, they are almost a study of how the context in which you evolve and live influences you as a person and the path you take, even if it was heavily swayed by great ones in ths scenario. however, did their paths simply diverge because great ones took an interest in them, or did the great ones touch them because of the way they were predisposed to be in the first place. i’d be more inclined to believe the latter, like i said earlier, i believe saints to be more easily prone to celestial influence, and the paths they were already on is what drove those gods to them, even if it was a simple passing-by of oedon that made adella falter, rather than adeline’s most genuine contact with kos.
#bloodborne#i had a writing tag but i forgor again#i love writing the same things over and over about adeline and adella#i probably forgot a ton of stuff i wanted to say but it wrote this in like two hours so maybe ill add on later
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Selective mutism vs no talk program anon again. I should probably also add that the way verbal issues are presented are different for that alter and most others as they would not necessarily be too overwhelmed to talk but rather parsing the right words together is difficult and the body feels lightheaded. I know skills can vary throughout the system but I sometimes hear about high support level autistic systems saying individual alters can’t be nonverbal and we consider ourselves low support
Part 1: What you asked
🗝️🏷️ RAMCOA, programming, torture mentions
I don’t love how we’re talking about alter identities through the lens of the whole system, but I can help with the programming aspect of this.
This may be programming. If it is, it would likely be scramble or no-talk, depending on the perception of the alters effected. If you already know you have a history of programming, I would lean more towards that possibility.
Scramble progs mix up information both ways. While active, those effected might have difficulty comprehending speech from others or producing it themselves. It can change the way visual or tactile information is perceived as well. Scramble progs are sometimes tied to no-talk, but they don’t have to be.
Other no-talk progs target language, movement, or thought. This can look like inability to put sentences together, lack of understanding of known languages, clenched jaws, biting your tongue (usually not off), brainfog, sudden flooding of emotions or memories, lots of things.
Both are installed by torture, but the alters effected need not hold the programs and the programmed alters need not remember events. The more alters involved, the more complex the structure of the system.
Selective Mutism is associated with anxiety, but I don’t think it’s required for diagnosis. Alters are rarely diagnosed individually because it would be on the record of the whole system. If this alter ever speaks aloud, Selective Mutism might be accurate. I would not say that the system has Selective Mutism just because some speak aloud and some do not.
I have Opinions about alter-specific labels, so the rest is about that.
Part 2: the Opinions
🗝️🏷️ syscourse, alter labels
These use our system as an example because we exist this way and have these experiences as anecdotal evidence. It might be relevant to you, but here’s a TL;DR— alters should be able to identify with labels if they fit that description.
With our experience as a Deaf system, I have no qualms with an alter being Deaf. This is because Deafness is a subjective experience reliant on community and ability. An alter who is deaf/hard of hearing/similarly effected would be Deaf if they know and use a signed language and participate in the Deaf community.
Some systems are not as clear-cut with alters. Some systems share memories between members. Some systems consider themselves collectively one person. All of these are good reasons to refuse an opt-in label like Deaf, but ultimately no one else decides whether or not you are Deaf enough.
Alters are capable of producing varying presentations within a body. This is a well-researched phenomenon, and if it were not there are still many systems who live this reality. Some effects only appear the same, others functionally are.
We have asthma. The younger alters have not had treatment for asthma, so the body has severe asthma when they are fronting. Their brain maps do not include information about medications and their effects, only what they front for. They would also have mild asthma if they took the medication for a while.
Alters in our system qualify for personality disorders, for different heart conditions or digestive issues. All of these tie back to trauma, but every alter has a different set of life experiences to inform their health.
Similarly, support needs are going to vary by alter. One body may not be treated as having this variety, but that is because of an assumption of singular self. It makes sense that some alters have different symptoms, and what they ID as should be up to them.
Refusing an alter’s right to choose who they are is only proof that others do not see us as whole. If you are an alter who feels this way, you may adjust your labels accordingly.
It is not acceptable to treat every system like this without intimate knowledge of who they are and how they function, and even then it would be preferable to talk it out rather than make their decisions for them.
If an alter is nonverbal in the same way a singlet is nonverbal, they should be able to choose that label accordingly. It may well be that this protector is nonverbal rather than SM, or it may be programming. They should have the space to determine which seems to fit best and how to proceed.
We have many alters who are nonverbal, but some of us were tortured into behaving otherwise. We were stuck between a rock and a hard place, and if we had not split someone who could do what was asked, we would have died.
We maintain relationships by alter rather than as a body, so many of our friends know our body as nonverbal because this is all they will ever see. Alters have the experience of being nonverbal all the time, they should be allowed to find peers who understand them.
I don’t see this as the same as race; you cannot change the body’s race, you cannot have the experience of another body’s race. An alter can have experiences with many other things. It is little more than the Deaf community gatekeeping from those who are HOH or use cochlear implants. Sometimes we do belong, and we are not wrong for existing.
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Since you offered your services for an ask - I would love to hear you talk about the dialogue that Greta and Carson had in the pizza parlor about wanting (and not wanting) kids. That was the scene that most neatly juxtaposed the differences between the life possibilities that I currently have as a queer person versus what would have been possible for Greta and Carson. And kids are a theme that comes up multiple times in the show, but a theme that is difficult to explore in a gifset. I know you can do it justice! Delighted to see that you’re as intrigued by this show (and Greta Gill) as I am.
Hello hello! Thank you so much for the ask, and even more for qualifying my answer as a service, bless. I fear I may have answered all AROUND your question and didn't quite address it as you had hoped... Truly, there are 17 paragraphs beyond this cut, of which fewer than half are about the thematic concept of kids, so please feel free to follow up and swat me into a better direction on the topic.
Broadly speaking, this show does such a good job communicating that ACHE of wanting something that is not possible. That's the whole point! If you have a show centered on queer women and Black women playing baseball in the 40s, then that is absolutely the context for the show: these women want things they could not easily have. The show reminds us that their triumphs and joys are meaningful because there is pain in having been denied them over and over.
The character that gets this treatment the most is Max, rightfully, and for obvious reasons. The next one is Greta, who embodies a paradox of freely embracing her identity while also completely heeding the boundaries confining her. The treatment also extends to Carson, by dint of their romance being front-and-center in the show. Carson joyously barrels down every Queer First of finding herself, and then naively slams headlong into the barriers Greta's been warning of the entirety of their relationship. There are limitations to what is possible between them.
And you're right, perhaps nowhere is this more clearly delineated than in the pizza scene - which exists in a similar paradox of freedom and confinement. They're on a date, in public, but they cannot behave as such. This is their first official date, and they’re talking about their future, and this conversation organically reveals what is possible and what isn't. The general friction in Greta and Carson's relationship is that Carson is consistently pushing towards hope and Greta is consistently withdrawing into fear and self-protection.
Carson looks hopefully toward next year; Greta deflects by joking about making it big in Hollywood, then gets all-too-serious by asking if Charlie and Carson are going to have kids. This is the paradox again, and part of why casting a comedy actor as Greta is a very smart move: Greta clowns around as a defense mechanism and flirtation device to skirt confrontation with reality. But when pressed with reality she will retreat into a very pragmatic hopelessness. Which not all comedy actors can do, but D’Arcy Carden, portrayer of a million Janets, is fantastic. Particularly in this scene. The wistful beat with the nose crinkle before she changes the subject to something less painful? I’m wailing on my couch.
But yes, with hope looming like an impossibility, Greta's the one to bring up a dose of reality over fantasy. She asks about kids because she expects that Carson, a Housewife, will fulfill this expectation, and Greta's always looking ahead for the Disappointment, to plan for the moment when she needs to cut her losses and move on. But Carson looks to her future and doesn’t see it in the life she was living before the AAGPBL.
So there’s also this underlying friction between Carson having lived a traditional white woman's life (by 1940s standards - married, settled, housewife) somewhat haplessly, and Greta purposefully performing cherry-picked aspects of white femininity to appear traditional while not actually living that way. Or WANTING to live that way, it’s important to note. She blatantly identifies that the obstacle to having kids, which she would want, is that she never wants to keep a man, part of the bargain for women in the 40s. It’s not a sacrifice she’s willing to make.
For Greta, all of these possibilities she presumes are reality for Carson exist ONLY in a completely different world for herself, and that world isn't opening up for her anytime soon. And it is PAINFUL to know, as a viewer 80 years in the future, that Greta and Carson wouldn't live long enough to have kids the way queer people can now. They are simply living in a world that isn't changing fast enough to accommodate them.
I think the ways that kids show up as a theme in the show is tethered to two things: 1) the complex mother-daughter relationships the show puts forth (Carson and her mom, Max and her mom, Clance and her mom, Greta and her mom, Lupe and her daughter) and 2) the idea that children are inextricably connected to womanhood in that time period. (Hell, even today.)
That same friction between tradition and progression comes alive in both of these avenues with kids, too. The mothers want their children to be people that their children don't want to be. In Carson's case, she doesn't want to become her mother because her mother abandoned her role as caretaker of the family. In one way or another, Greta’s mom, Clance’s mom, and Jo’s grandmother are not portrayed to have been good caretakers either. Lupe, when she became a mother, was presumed to be unfit, and took the denial of responsibility as a bid for freedom.
And then there’s Toni. Toni is the Main Mom on the show, an embodiment of Traditional Mom Caretaker, and the writers even gave HER a backstory where she would have been content without a husband, but God sent a good man her way. She is a business owner, a woman with a shrewd mind for how to survive within the boundaries that are placed around Black women.
But entangled in these explorations of mothers and children is this societal idea that intrinsic in motherhood is the necessity of sacrifice. Greta isn’t willing to sacrifice loving women in order to keep a man and have children. Lupe saw motherhood as a kind of imprisonment in a life she didn’t want at 17, and not assuming the role of a mother allowed her the freedom to escape. Maybelle can’t be a mom and a baseball player at the same time, so she leaves her kids to live her life to the fullest for a summer.
Truthfully, each of the characters has a complicated relationship with sacrifice, running parallel to maternal sacrifice, because ultimately this is a show about people who are living in a world with limits to possibility - whether due to their gender, race, or sexuality. And there are always sacrifices for those folks living in a limited world. Toni found the ways forward in a society that limits Black women and made the sacrifices she saw necessary because they were worth it to her. Because of her experience, Toni thinks sacrifices are part of life, which is why she looked ahead for Bertie and Max and started planning how (she thought) they could circumvent their inevitable obstacles, as an act of love.
But for most of the queer characters, the same sacrifices aren’t worth the cost of being denied their identity. So again, there’s the joy, and the pain, in tandem. It’s what binds the whole series together as they tell the stories of these folks who are queer and/or Black and/or Hispanic in a world that doesn’t want them. The ever-present ache of what’s possible and what isn’t, and the negotiation of living a happy future.
Carson not wanting kids is interesting, because it’s so closely connected to a) her fear of being like her mom, and b) the possibility that she views motherhood as a final nail in the coffin of a marriage that while arguably survivable is not fulfilling. One wonders if she might want kids with a different partner, or with different expectations for motherhood, or without having to physically give birth. It’s hard to say, and there are a lot of reasons any person might not want kids. On the other hand, it’s not hard to imagine that Greta would want kids partly to have the chance at being a better mother to her own child than her own mom, and Jo’s grandmother, and - absolutely, Dana’s mother. There’s also probably something about the innocent joy of childhood that Greta would want to be able to return to, even vicariously, as someone who suffered a pretty traumatic event as a teenager and hasn’t ever recovered. Another manifestation of the ache.
Circling back around to the pizza scene, I think it’s important to talk a little more about the context for that scene in the episode as a whole. It’s dancing around these possibilities and limits the entire time, and ends on Greta finally agreeing to go to the gay bar if they make it to the championships. Their relationship is now pushing, thanks to Carson, toward possibility, with Greta relenting her pull of pragmatism. The easiest explanation for Greta saying yes is her previous conversation with Jo, which planted a seed in her head that maybe the world is capable of changing. I think there’s also something to be said for the fact that the conversation about kids immediately before Carson’s proposition erodes some of Greta’s resistance, because it’s simply depressing to think about. So she opens herself up to the possibility of the joy that she can have.
Then, of course, they make the championships (joy), go to the gay bar (limitless joy), and it ends up getting raided and Jo gets arrested (limits, reality, pain). What AGONY that as soon as Carson convinces Greta to believe in hope, the entire dream comes crashing down and Greta’s fears are affirmed once more.
But that’s the show: the ache of wanting what isn’t possible, and the joy of those moments when reality can be wheedled into a dream - the five minutes, as Max and Carson later call it. And of course, this central idea is encapsulated perfectly in Episode 6 - where the pizza scene sits almost at the exact middle, a fulcrum on which the season is about to tilt, through Greta’s hopeful acquiescence - with a narrative device and a turn of phrase.
The narrative device is, of course, the use of The Wizard of Oz - a piece of media that is ostensibly intended for children, but that has captured the imagination of adults just as much, if not more. And I think it’s because The Wizard of Oz has that ache. It’s constructed in the same way as the way the show constructs the two worlds of reality and possibility - Kansas, and Oz. A troubled world of black-and-white, a world of rainbow color. The shitty world, and the queer world. (If you’re a music nerd who’d like to hear how “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” is constructed around the ache, I direct you here, a musical analysis I’ve been obsessed with for over 10 years.)
The show gets MILEAGE out of The Wizard of Oz without being too heavyhanded, from its clever incorporation of “friend of Dorothy” to its bridging of multiple main characters (love you, Clance), and its gut-punching final moments with Glinda and Dorothy repeating “There’s no place like home” as Greta and Carson numbly process being ripped back into reality and the episode cuts to black.
Home, is, of course, where the episode pivots their narrative device into a clever turn of phrase that neatly and painfully hits the show’s thesis. I don’t think I’ve ever had an episode title quite knock the wind out of me the way this one did. “Stealing Home” fits in with all the other episode titles in that it is a baseball maneuver. In baseball world, it’s a DIFFICULT maneuver. (Yes, I am one of the ALOTO fans who actually does care about the baseball.) It’s incredibly risky to do because as a runner, you are heading directly into the path of the ball where you could either score a run (joy!) or get tagged out (defeat!). It requires dire circumstances, finding a tiny window of opportunity, and taking your shot when it comes. So it’s apt, no?
But it’s also apt in its double meaning, and how it connects to The Wizard of Oz and the queer context of the show. It probably doesn’t need stating; everyone here is smart. But this is, of course, the episode where so many of the queer characters - Max, Greta, Carson, Jo, Bertie, Gracie - are able to live safely in the dream for a few brief blissful moments. The party at Bertie’s, the scene at Vi’s bar. The dream is that queer folks can find home in reality, and that Oz and Kansas are not that far apart. It’s those five minutes of joy, of possibility, of fantasy. It’s waiting for the right moment and risking everything to charge forward and seize the chance for joy because it might not come again. And it encapsulates the central thesis of the show for these characters: possibility lives out of reach most of the time. So you must find opportunities and steal them wherever you can. In the meantime, there will be an ache.
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Scourge Spotlight: Inkariax, the White Death
CR 26
Lawful Evil Colossal Outsider
Adventure Path: Return of the Runelords: The City Outside of Time, pg. 86-87
Surprise! Happy Holidays, everyone! I wasn’t going to wait until the end of the month to talk about this tall drink of ice water. The season of giving prompts me to give you something special, and what’s more special than a unique gift? Inkariax here is the first and, sadly, only Velstrac Demagogue to get stats, something that will likely remain true for the foreseeable future. I, for one, wish that he didn’t look like... well, just a Blue Dude with some added bits.
A 70-foot tall Blue Dude, mind, but a Blue Dude nonetheless. Yes, the ‘Colossal’ wasn’t a typo; this guy stands taller than most houses. The average human would be lucky to stand past his ankles. It’s easy for Inkariax to treat most other creatures as below him because, in a very literal sense, it’s true. It’s also true metaphorically, if you believe his origin story: it’s said than when the velstrac were first freed from Hell and migrated to the Plane of Shadow, their essence mingled with the frigid expanse of the plane to birth Inkariax, fully-formed. While other velstrac strive for perfection, he believes himself to already be perfect, and is so secure in his belief that he doesn’t even bother speaking to correct anyone else. There are few creatures in existence that can claim to have ever heard the White Death say even a single word, the titan usually communicating entirely through minor gestures or changes in his facial expression. Though he can understand any language and use telepathy if needed, he never does so except to give vague orders to his greatest minions. The most straightforward communion one can hope to get from him are the extremely rare occasions where he writes something down, which is why anyone at all knows why his desolate domain is called the Frozen Tears, and his personal frigid fortress the White Death’s Diadem.
Due to the lack of need he feels in communicating anything, his goals and desires are an utter mystery, perfectly moldable into any existing campaign a DM feels like having him show up in. However, his primary desire is easy enough to use without changing much: Inkariax desires perfection. Absolute perfection and absolute order. As a perfect being himself, the White Death is uniquely qualified to judge what is and isn’t perfect, and if there’s one thing he despises more than anything else, it’s time’s tendency to ruin perfection. He gets around time’s grinding wheel by capturing moments in amber, arranging the targets of his admiration into exact poses, then freezing them in unbreakable, glass-clear ice so he may admire their magnificence until existence itself comes to an end.
Inkariax embodies the absolute worst, most hostile form of Law there is, the dislike of even casual forms of chaos. Not moral or conceptual chaos, but physical chaos; entropy itself grates against his aesthetic, time spoiling all he deems beautiful. Were it not for his strange fondness for the Lady of Pain, Doloras, inspiring him to attempt to impress her with an ever-growing macabre gallery, Inkariax may be moved to freeze the entirety of creation in a single, exquisite moment, eradicating the possibility of imperfection altogether.
What chance does a party have of stopping him from his strange goals, whatever they may be? Let’s find out...
Well, let’s get something out of the way first: 70ft tall. This gives the mountainous Demagogue a space and reach of 30ft, and with the power to conjure Walls of Ice 3/day, there is likely little the party can do to stay out of his reach, giving him Full-Attack after Full-Attack. Perhaps fitting for such a refined being, his Bloody Icicles can be drawn from his flesh and wielded as elegant rapiers. +5 Wounding Rapiers, to be exact, sized for his massive form and thus capable of dealing 4d6+17 damage (+1 stacking bleed) up to four times each round. Worse still, his specific weapon selection means he critically hits on a 15-20, giving him a 1/4 chance to double his output for the attack... or, to put it in a worse way, it’s likely he may critically strike once a round, possibly even twice a round!
Those Bloody Icicles make for powerful ranged attacks as well, as he’s able to fling up to four a round as if they were +3 Daggers, each dealing 3d6+15 damage and critically striking on a still-high-but-more-reasonable 17-20. Unlike his servitors, who specialize in attacking from afar, Inkariax’s sheer size makes attacking from a range for him less than useful; he can pretty easily be fired on in retaliation because, unless he wants to take increasingly ridiculous penalties due to a dagger’s pitiful 10ft range increment, he has to stay relatively close anyway, and he’s a huge target. Also like the Libitinarii, he has both Point-Black Shot and Precise Shot, but PBS only works if the target is within 30ft... and if he’s within 30ft, then why not simply stab them with his significantly more dangerous rapier? It feels like his threat could be vastly ramped up if his ranged attack feats were traded out with Two-Weapon Fighting and its offshoots to let him dual-wield his icy rapiers without penalty.
While his skill with a rapier is usually enough to carry him, this is only if the White Death’s attention has been sufficiently stirred enough by the attacks of insects. His Unnerving Gaze completely stuns anyone who meets it for 1d4+1 rounds unless they succeed a DC 32 Will save, and unlike most velstrac, it has an effective range of 120ft, letting his dispassionate gaze take enemies out of the fight before he needs to bother drawing a weapon. For those who power through his gaze, his Regeneration 30 can only be shut down by a deific or Mythic source, and his DR 20 can only be penetrated by a weapon that’s Epic, Good, and silver. Rather notably, while he maintains immunity to charms, compulsions, fear, poison, and petrification, he is not immune to ability score damage, drain, energy drain, or death effects, making him one of the rare campaign final bosses that can potentially be weakened with Energy Drain or Enervation, harmed by Destruction, Finger of Death, or Slay Living, or even outright killed with Power Word Kill or even the humble Death Knell if the party has no other way to bypass his Regeneration... you know, if you can get past his 37 SR, but still. It’s interesting that such an angle of attack is left open. The party may not even realize it’s an option, given how death protection is so pervasive at high levels, especially with divine targets! It certainly takes a lot of bite away from the Demagogue.
Also interesting, Inkariax has no protection against Fire damage. Not even any Resistance! He’s got a hell of a lot of protection from Cold, though; not only is he immune to Cold damage, but he’s utterly immune to the effects of ANY spell with the [Cold] descriptor, no matter what it may be. He can move through snow and ice without difficulty, and use his Icy Logic to immediately and unavoidably end ANY ongoing effect with the [Cold] descriptor whether it be a spell, item effect, or even an alchemical item, with nothing more than a standard action. Why are you even wasting your time trying to use cold magic against him, though?! You fool!
The only master of cold here is him! Though he lacks the penetrating Hellfrost of fellow snow enthusiast Baalzebul, he often doesn’t need it, his spells damaging enough to surpass most Cold Resistance anyway. Like I mentioned before he has Cone of Cold and Wall of Ice 5/day, but he ALSO has Freezing Sphere and Ice Storm at 5/day as well, the inconvenient Chill Metal available at will, and the Dex-draining Polar Ray at 3/day. With so much AoE available to him, he’ll probably hit someone who isn’t fully protected from his cold, provided he’s not using his turn to disassemble nearby targets with his icy rapiers (which average out to considerably more damage to single targets than even Polar Ray). If you ARE immune to Cold damage, or perhaps you seem like something he may wish to add to his collection, he has Imprisonment 3/day as a terrifyingly powerful Save-Or-Suck, a single Will save standing between you and being sealed in his collection for eternity.
In a similar vein to that, though, there is one last gimmick he has: As he’s mostly a larger and more powerful Libitinarii, and they’re known to freeze targets they touch in ice to preserve them forever, you’d expect Inkariax to be able to do the same, right? Wrong! He actually freezes everything around him at once in a single go to save time. Upwards to five times a day, he can force all creatures within 30ft of him to make a DC 28 Fortitude save or take 6d6 Cold damage and 6d6 evil piercing damage... and anyone who fails must make a second, DC 29 Will save or be turned into deathless ice. Any victim who isn’t subject to Break Enchantment or similar within 1 hour per HD they have? They’re gone. Permanently. The book plainly and simply states that only the will of a deity can release someone frozen by Inkariax’s magic, making this one of the few abilities in existence that can’t be undone by Wish or Miracle, something that off the top of my head only the incarnates of Abaddon’s will have been able to do before.
Two failed saves standing between you and losing half your party to an ability from which there is no recovering, which you may have to succeed five separate times against. Between that and his Imprisonment, you may begin to WISH he’d stick to his damaging spells.
You can read more about him here.
#Scourge Season Month#Monster Spotlight#CR 26 and up#blood#body horror#pathfinder#Dungeons and Dragons
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Story Craft: Character Typing
We return to the topic of characters to speak (very briefly) about the common typing methods for characters: MBTI & Enneagram.
Now, I have some clean-up to do about preconceived notions and the colossal amounts of damage that quirky, relatable text posts based on very broad stereotypes has done.
Typing, like many other things, is a set of tools. You get out of them what you put in, nothing more and nothing less. These are not personality frameworks and should not be used as such. For me, they are ways of separating aspects of characters, finding natural strengths & weakness, paths towards growth, natural struggles and possible methods each character might take as I begin to understand their thinking and priorities.
There's been this wave of shoehorning characters and concepts into boxes for the sake of funny memes and it doesn't work. It often misses the point of the character and DEFINITELY doesn't work when it comes to typology.
Second point of contention: introverted does not mean introvert and introvert does not mean stereotypical shut-in who only likes books and rainy Autumn weather. Introverted and extraverted are when the focus in inwardly focused or externally focused, eg. your sense of justice vs. the accepted meaning of justice. Basically, if the comes back with an E at the front, it means their focus is outwards and not that they're some rowdy party animal who can't shut up.
Snooty qualifiers out of the way, let's get to the business of...
Typing!
Before going ahead, I'd like to take a moment to go over how and when I use these tests to get the most of out my characters. I like to have a fair-to-strong understanding of the character before I do anything with typology. From my earlier post, I may have a strong idea of their Purpose & Personality but be more flexible when it comes to their Perspective... or I may know three things but in differing levels of confidence. Everything is case-by-case and everything is completely to taste. No hard and fast rules, just pitfalls that people tend to not be aware of and parts that take a little more work and figuring out.
I do all this to avoid having no ideas for a character and ending up with a blank slate that only exists to be a functioning tool of the plot, a talking head with a bright personality who has nothing to do with anything going on, or a mouthpiece for some part of the world or some talking point that I want to share. Characters should have more to offer than the reason they were created.
Now, let's start with MBTI because I actually made a little test for that! MBTI is no I vs E, N vs S, F vs T, or F vs. J. It's more intricate than that but once you get the hang of it then you'll learn to appreciate how everything balances out more.
The real battles are between Ne vs Si, Se vs Ni, Fe vs Ti, Te vs Fi. Everyone is made up of two battling pairs, one pair works as intended and one pair both excels and causes problems. Each of the 8 Functions form a stack which makes the MBTI type you're either familiar with or just may have seen. These pairs work together and are always the same, the order may be different though.
Ne in slot 1 will always have Si in slot 4
Si in slot 1 will always have Ne in slot 4.
Here's a brief rundown of what the Functions mean taking from 'The Building Blocks of Personality' which I found helpful but not too wordy.
Si or Introverted Sensing seeks out familiar or personally relevant sensory details to stabilise or ground oneself in new situations
Do you pause or hesitate and try to figure out if you’ve experienced something like this before, scanning for some familiar object, detail, or feeling to hang your hat on? Do you tend to notice little discrepancies in terms of how details compare to your past experiences? Do you prefer to use already known or well-established methods/procedures to handle problems? Do you easily feel overwhelmed or anxious when confronted with a completely new situation you’ve never experienced before? Do you get easily flustered when people/situations do not behave as you expect or if you are forced to improvise without enough guidance or rules?
Se or Extraverted Sensing seeks to participate fully and adapt quickly to new, immediate, or changing sensory conditions in the world
Is your first instinct to dive in head first just to see how it goes? Do you often feel the urge to “join” and be a part of anything interesting that is happening? Do you love trying out and experiencing new things? Do you enjoy the feeling of being able to confidently and competently handle yourself in an interesting activity or situation? Do you feel uneasy when you cannot learn something as quickly as you want or solve a problem as immediately as you would like to? Do you get easily annoyed when other people seem too boring, withdrawn, or conventional?
Ne or Extraverted Intuition connects disparate details to see new conceptual ideas or possibilities for creating change, improvement, or progress in the world: ENTP/ENFP
Do you feel energised by all the possibilities of pursuing a new path? Do you feel that your mind is often full of widely diverse or scattered ideas? Do you often have trouble figuring out which possibility to explore first because you can see that they are all potentially awesome? Do you find it hard to follow through with your plans because of being easily distracted by other exciting possibilities midstream? Do you feel a desire to achieve the best possible outcome and easily feel frustrated when others do not care about making progress or are resistant to trying out new ideas.
Ni or Introverted Intuition analyses and interprets the contextual meaning or importance of things in order to orient oneself towards what will be true in the future
Do you observe the situation from a big picture context, looking for patterns in the events/behaviours that can help you predict what will happen next (based on vague patterns you’ve experienced before)? Do you often feel quite certain about future outcomes, sometimes without knowing why or have difficulty explaining why? Do you find it hard to decide what to do if you cannot see any “deeper meaning” in a situation or if you cannot understand the “ultimate purpose” of an action? Do you get easily annoyed if people/situations seem “superficial” or often think that life requires more meaning/purpose?
Fe or Extraverted Feeling seeks to maintain or build interpersonal bonds and social structure in order to achieve harmony and intimate connection among people
Do you feel the urge to make sure everyone is okay or on the same page? Do you feel like you naturally gauge the social “temperature” or “atmosphere” of a room as soon as you walk in? Do you feel very uneasy when others seem dissatisfied or unhappy or express negativity? Do you instinctively want to smooth over interpersonal conflicts (regardless of whether they involve you)? Are you easily annoyed when people seem inconsiderate, aloof, uncooperative, or unappreciative?
Fi or Introverted Feeling seeks to analyse personal experiences as a means to create a set of values for determining what is good/bad or right/wrong for oneself and, by extension, other people: ISFP/INFP
Is it very important to you to “stay true to yourself” no matter what is going on? Do you tend to focus in on any conflict or potential for conflict? Do you feel quite uneasy, resentful, or internally conflicted when people act in a way that you disagree with? Do you pay close attention to whether individuals are treated fairly (as opposed to impersonally/interchangeably)? Do you need a certain degree of privacy and intensely dislike situations that even slightly infringe upon your/others’ personal space or boundaries, and then feel a very strong urge to speak up or protest?
Ti or Introverted Thinking seeks to discover precise formulaic knowledge derived from dispassionate analysis of what is factually true or false
Do you feel curious about what is happening and want to figure out how or why it is happening? Do you often try to figure out exactly what caused an event/behaviour and fix any problem? Do you feel the urge to push boundaries just to observe what will happen? Do you enjoy patiently building up useful knowledge and skills? Do you feel it necessary to observe/analyse from an impersonal distance in order to maintain impartiality (and feel frustrated when others do not do the same)? Are you easily annoyed by inaccuracies or falsehoods or “irrelevant” information?
Te or Extraverted Thinking seeks to follow, create, maintain, or streamline systematic rules/standards to achieve greater order, predictability, and successful action in the world
Do you feel it necessary to make a plan or change/improve the situation? Are you naturally motivated to make a situation more “normal”, “appropriate”, “effective”, or “efficient”? Do you hate the feeling of leaving an obvious problem unresolved (regardless of whether it involves you)? Do you instinctively want to set a clear goal/objective and try to achieve it quickly? Are you easily annoyed by signs of incompetence in yourself or others?
And now, here is a test that I made myself to use for your own characters. MBTI test
I am by no means an expert, but I made this by compiling a lot of the knowledge and stuff I found most helpful for understanding how to use MBTI for characters.
Now onto Enneagram... this is something I kinda avoided for a while because I didn't understand the purpose and I didn't see the point of mixing and matching different typing systems. I've come to see the benefit in using both as it too is a tool that can be used for many of the same reasons that I use MBTI. They help show weaknesses, frustrations, things the characters may be running from, hiding or outright ignoring, they can show paths to growth and where companionship can form. It's a tool and a helpful one as long as you use it and don't depend on it.
I think that's the big piece of advice I'd give: you the tools but don't depend on them.
Anyway, I'll link my worksheet here but I'll also link some very helpful Youtube channels than can explain Ennegram a lot better than I can. After all, I disregarded it for a while before seeing the merit in it!
The Enneagram Workshop (this is the method I use in the worksheet I linked. I found her explanations very helpful)
You've Got a Type (a playlist for the basics but all of his videos were so informed but quick about it too)
Now, I know what you're thinking (you are, be honest). You're thinking 'but what are the types of your characters?' and you are SO RIGHT to ask that! I'll just use the same 5 again... but I'll also throw in another 5.
Cas | ESFP | Type 3 (3w2)
Conoric | INFP | Type 4 (4w5)
Gwynnen | ESTJ | Type 3 (3w2)
Hughwen | ENTP | Type 5 (5w6)
Sarabonney | ESTP | Type 8 (8w9)
Stella | ENFP | Type 2 (2w3)
Ilya | INTP | Type 6 (6w5)
Lilah | ESTP | Type 7 (7w8)
Eliot | ENTP | Type 5 (5w4)
Pippa | INFP | Type 9 (9w8)
And now the rambly bit where I talk lovingly about my characters.
Cas vs Gwynnen
They're both 3w2 which means the operate the same kind of way (which they did, and I knew this even before I knew the typing). They both adopt whatever demeanour suits the situation to get to the heart of matters. Their big differences come from their outlooks (which again, I knew before I could ever really put it into solid terms). Cas is very much in the present and is willing to see things as they area and take situations at their face value. Gwynnen cannot help by see similarities to past crimes, other situations and criminal intent. Cas take every situation in with fresh eyes, building up a complete picture from the ground up. Gwynnen assesses situations and finds similarities that point him directions that he can then follow up on, finding the evidence to confirm or dismiss his theories rather efficiently. Both of them are hands-on, work fast and have a great deal of understanding but they work in ways that do not compliment each other's skill sets.
Hughwen vs Eliot
A battle between two Type 5 ENTPs. To put it fairly, both of these men are schemers and they function from the sidelines of a group. Hughwen is more open with his opinion excels at problem-solving and more frequently, problem-finding that just comes across as overly cynical and nitpicky. He does have the group's best interests in mind as their safety is his safety, and he is ultimately a great at brainstorming the perfect solution, but the path he takes is often one where he upsets as many people on the way as one can. Eliot is a thinking man who excels in ideas and problem-solving but he's a lot more independent than Hughwen. He's inwardly happy to be a part of Stella's group and values being sought out, but if something needs to be done, he'd much rather figure it out himself and do it himself. He can't handle criticism well and will often shrug and stop giving his advice (despite his keen mind for it).
Sarabonney vs Lilah
Both ESTPs with a Type 8. They are fierce go-getters who thrive in scenarios where they are told something can't be done. Lilah takes all challenges as personal, doing everything in her power to prove it can be done. She revels in the adrenaline and soaks up the cheers and adoration that come from victory. She loves challenges and is constantly guilty of trying to one-up other people's accomplishments. Sarabonney is more practical. Where Lilah would fight a dragon just to say she's done it and show off her trophey, Sarabonney would fight the dragon just to keep the peace, and use the parts for medicine. She stands on her tippy-toes just to look danger in the eye but she does it to keep others safe. She's bossy and forward but from a very caring and nurturing heart.
Conoric vs Pippa
A battle of two very different INFPs. Both of them suffered hardships in youth it affected them in very different ways that shape their decisions. Both of them are very solitary and introspective by nature, and both of them have a screaming, burning desire to help people. Conoric turns to books and tries to hone his mind while Pippa cultivates a network of people to surround herself with. Conoric wears his pain on his sleeve, feeling it is a part of him. Pippa and her pain aren't on speaking terms. She denies that she's suffered and hates that life treated her so cruelly. She drowns herself in helping others, setting up deals that would get more people into better housing and help secure loans for up-and-coming businesses. She revels in the finery of life that she now has access, pushing the pain deeper and further away... because that means it'll go away right? Conoric has an unfair advantage against Pippa when it comes to growth. He has Cas and Cas spent a while trying to understand Conoric, something that really helped him come out of his shell. It gave him the attention that he craved after being denied it for so long and it helped him learn to communicate his own ideas better, allowing him access to help in his own way.
Okay, I'm finished down. I'll be back next time with talk about stories or worldbuilding. We shall see which, but in the meantime:
Happy creating!
Want more writing advice? Check out this post!
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I was reading ASAU, and while it is an awesome work (as are the AUs like Faction), its big impact on me were the gender conversations. If someone wanted to further investigate gender and being genderqueer/non-binary, what would you recommend for them? Thank you and I can't wait to see more of these fics soon!
omg thank you????????? omg omg omg????
first (but hardest) part is trying to dissect your feelings a little. it's a complicated process and the results can change over time, but it's worth it to have a good understanding of yourself!!
second, RESEARCH SO MUCH!!!! nonbinary wikis were invaluable to me when i was figuring stuff out. just seeing what other people call gender identities and define them as might be enough to open a door you didn't know existed.
a little background... at 17, i started identifying as non binary bc it was a blanket term that i thought fit best over the complicated feelings i was sorting out, and now at almost 25 i identify with both that AND being a trans man. it was a slow process letting go of femininity bc i was still attached to it, and i was leaving for college and wanted to express myself!! i still find myself in how i dressed then, but now it's more about striking a balance of what i want to present as, what's comfortable, and what's practical for my situation. just go into your gender self discovery journey with the knowledge that you can do whatever you want forever. queer history is full of complicated and contradictory reasoning for gender shenanigans, so pick whatever feels best to you (unless it's like.... being two spirit, which is an indigenous thing and has its own history that i'm not qualified to talk about. but other than closed/cultural things like that, go off!)
third, speak to other trans people!!!! not just people your age either, but old queers! they'll have valuable info and experiences that you cant get anywhere else. and i find reading/watching things about queer history fascinating. all in all, worth the effort for the wealth of knowledge you gain.
fourth, find a good support group that will be gentle and patient with you (and most importantly, AFFIRMATIVE!!!) if you wanna try out new names and pronouns too. ppl need to use your pronouns around you for u to know if you like them. i found the pronoun dressing room super helpful when i was trying to find a neopronoun set that worked for me too!! (i'm very happy with ce/cer, it feels nice, but they/ce/he are all equally me so i encourage ppl to just pick a set if they have trouble switching lol. may not work for you but it does for me!)
have fun and good luck! i hope you have an awesome experience! the road that a trans person walks isn't really easy, but there are a lot of good people to take solace with.
#transgender#replies#kio talks#hormones and everything is a whole other topic and it's highly regional#so if thats something you wanna do in the future there's research that you can do for your area#it might not even be as hard to get as you think!!!#but this is an introductory course lol#as always think about it real hard before you start telling a lot of people and/or doing permanent things#i waited like a year to come out and i still havent legally changed my name#(tho thats a not wanting to appear in court or pay the fee kind of thing)#ALSO U CAN TOTALLY START HORMONES AND THEN STOP THEM!!! DONT LET PPL SCARE U!!! UR STILL TRANS!!!#u dont have to do anything chemical or surgical either!! all up to u#u can do whatever u want forever#ageless soul au#sure it can go in the asau tag
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