#I can totally imagine buying in and being seriously fucked up by it when I was younger
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Serious talk about meta under the cut.
I don't know who might need to hear it, but fwiw mental flexibility is a huge part of analysis (and interacting with other humans lol). You need to be able to account for multiple possibilities when examining a work, or understanding a social exchange. You need to be able to separate what is objective fact from your own subjective interpretation and judgment. The most negative interpretation is not automatically the most worthwhile or true. Someone throwing accusations around in-line with their own worst interpretations does not guarantee those accusations are warranted. You are not a bad or stupid person for disagreeing. Shit needs to withstand scrutiny.
I don't always strike the right balance myself. I do the best I can but I'm definitely not perfect. Tbh I'm not beyond pettiness either--although I try to keep that out of actual analysis lol. There have been times I've griped to friends privately or blogged about how I felt (sans tags, with spoiler blocks so people can opt out). I've griped recently. I'm bound to gripe again in the future. Some level of griping is inevitable imo and I figure no one is 100% immune.
All that said, even if someone’s take isn't canon AND even if it's something I really dislike--I'd personally rather people follow their passions anyway. Hands down. I could be in the middle of a rant and my answer would still be that the subject of my frustration gets to exist. I'm not the boss and odds are we're going with different versions in our own heads. Discouraging another fan from creating due to my preferences or narrative approach would horrify me. I've seen fandoms where gatekeeping like that killed the creative community and it was fucking awful.
Not everyone is confident in their own judgment. Not everyone faced with a pissed off person trying to use lore and accusations like clubs will feel okay continuing with their own vision. Elitism and manipulation (especially through rhetoric) can be present within analysis. People are not being taught how to recognize those things properly. Analysts aren't always aware or invested enough to even be careful. It’s legit easy to get caught up in ideas or feelings to the point of forgetting about other people’s, and adjusting to account for alternate approaches takes some work. For me at least, I think having a 'no insults' policy and being super careful when it comes to absolute claims (assertions not qualified by 'I think' or 'it could be argued') helps.
Anyway. Just because a person calls something ‘meaningless’ doesn't make it meaningless. Someone pooh-poohing an observation you made doesn't make your observation less true or important. Employing a literary term doesn't mean that individual actually understands the term, how it works, or how to apply it. Which is to say nothing of romantic chemistry or whatever.
I encourage readers to extrapolate on this. ‘Shallow’ could apply as much as ‘meaningless’. Denying parallels exist by itself doesn’t actually negate those parallels. Your version of a character may not be the same as the fan next to you’s and that difference doesn't have to detract. There's more I could say on the subject (I've edited out a lot) but basically--just because another fan isn't into what you're doing doesn't automatically make what you're doing wrong, immoral, shoddy, or otherwise less.
Seriously, vet shit. Question the entire premise an analyst tries to establish then decide for yourself if it holds water. Turn over word choices and assertions in your head before deciding if they're appropriate. Do it to me too. I don't care if someone is the holy goddamn emperor of analysts. Just because a person says something is good or bad, true or false, whatever the hell doesn't make it so. Just because a person uses a technical term doesn't mean they're discussing it effectively. Quality of argument matters beyond the packaging it’s wrapped in. It's important to protect yourself from people whose priority is enforcing their own preferences, including dismissing things they aren't partial to.
I just don't want anyone shamed silent man. Not even people whose takes drive me up the fucking wall. Neither I nor any other analyst is an authority here. And there are people who are absolutely ready to take advantage of other people’s insecurities to assert themselves. Might not even be malicious, just indifferent.
For me, analysis feels kind of like uncovering a dinosaur skeleton. I want to share the cool and exciting things I find with other people. Sometimes I might be sorting out what my own thoughts and feelings are. It's also possible to examine why you're uncomfortable with something, or why you love something another person hates, while making very clear what is YOUR READING and not THE READING. Offering a variety of possibilities is very different from presenting yourself as the only correct one. One note at the end when everything else was insulting and intolerant is like a band-aid over a wound.
EDIT: As a last point, that I'm throwing in just-in-case. If anyone reading this thinks they may have overreached and done stuff I've mentioned + feels shitty about it… that's still not the end of the world. It’s okay. This is hard stuff to learn and I really don't think anyone's perfect at it. Worth the effort though. Just gotta take a deep breath, acknowledge you're a fallible human same as everyone else, and do the best you can going forward. Life goes on.
#saw one that horrified me a bit recently#involved a combination of overreaching + insults + purity culture#I can totally imagine buying in and being seriously fucked up by it when I was younger#I don’t want that happening to anyone else#it's okay to talk about NOTPs man but there are more and less responsible ways to do that
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Disclaimer: I'm speaking as a person who's only been in the Megamind fandom for almost 8 years, so I'm not, like, an OG 2010-2011 fan. HOWEVER... I find it interesting that from what I've been seeing, the people loudly complaining about the sequel content are mostly newer fans. People who've been fans for at least 6+ years are hyping this UP and being optimistic despite the flaws. I'm just like "u haven't been here that long, can we stop shitting all over it before it's even PREMIERED?? GOD"
It really is funny that the vast majority of people who are screaming like Dreamworks shot their dog are, yeah, people whose names I've never heard. Not on Tumblr, not on Twitter, not in AO3 or ffnet comments. Don't get me wrong, I've seen a couple of the old Livejournal crew who are unhappy, but even they haven't been spewing vitriol (that I've seen). For the most part, those of us who are actually active in this fandom are ecstatic! And it's not a length of time thing, either - there's new folks kicking around who are just as excited as the rest of us!
I'd say I hate to say it, but I'd be lying - the people who are the angriest about Megamind Rules are the people who wouldn't care if it existed or not in the first place. They're people who watched Megamind and enjoyed it, but didn't enjoy it enough to be excited for more unless it meets their personal standards. They didn't enjoy it enough to look for fanworks, they didn't enjoy it enough to say anything. I'll buy that they do care...but they don't care enough to try to see any joy in this.
They don't care enough to look anything up before sneering at the Doom Syndicate for being a "retcon" despite the massive amount of material out there supporting both the Doom Syndicate's existence and this plot (big "thank you" to some chucklefuck YouTuber in particular for that one). They don't care enough to stop and consider if there might be budget concerns for an IP Dreamworks was totally radio silence on for more than a decade. They don't care about who's writing it, or who's on the production or voice acting teams. They only care about jumping on the hate train, and I am FURIOUS about it, because I am scared to death that Dreamworks is gonna shitcan this before it even gets released. If that happens, I will be a level of angry that defies description. Because the people who did not fucking care one way or the other will have killed it, and the people who loved this story enough to be excited to see more will have nothing. Again. Newer people in this fandom who are bitching might not have the background to realize this, but if this is killed right out of the gate, THERE WILL BE. NOTHING. ELSE. When I say "radio silence" I mean Dreamworks all but refused to even LOOK at Megamind, for more than a decade.
That's not even getting into how much of a slap in the face it would be to the team who worked so hard on this. If anything could gut me hard enough to kill my desire to write anymore, it'd be that; I can't even imagine how the writers and voice actors and animators might feel in that event. I hope we never find out.
But yeah, uh, tldr: can we not fucking shit on something that literally has not even premiered, seriously. Can these joyless shitbirds PLEASE do something that sparks joy for them instead of shitting on something that sparks joy for others, goddamn. The animation looks fine, y'all are just mean.
#megamind#megamind rules#megamind vs the doom syndicate#my brain is ON FIRE.#askbasket#em8ambitions#am i nervous? yes! will i be INCANDESCENT WITH RAGE if it gets canceled before it gets going? ALSO YES
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FUCK I TOTALLY FORGOT TO SEND YOU AN ASK ABOUT THE FIC... i just got hit full force but like 89831 different fucking projects all at once MY BAD POOKIE BUT UGHHHHHHH oh my god.... part 2??? yes.. all of it is soooo YESS
YESS you visualized everything what you've been talking about how reader would react when they first wake up after centuries and honestly hella realistic EVEN THOUGH I JUST WANNA HOLD READER AND KISS THEIR FOREHEAD 😭😭😭
reader interacting with the segments has my HEARTTT oh my god.. especially omega.. he's SUCH A DEVIOUS MOTHERFUCKEGUJK,,, also reader naming the segments UGHHH i adore that idea so much pleaseee ,, i love how the segments who didn't give a shit suddenly changed their minds when reader said they wanna give them names... THE SWITCH UP AND THE IMMEDIATE DENIAL...
READER MEETING BABY ZANDY ,,, FUCKINGG hell got me sooo soft i wanna hold baby zandy and treat him soo nicely 🥹🥹
ALSO YESS omgg,,, this part has me sooo fucking soft like reader making friends??? with the other harbingers??? i love it... omg they'd be such good besties with columbina,, i think pantalone helps reader adjust to present time as well, especially with it comes with money or the economy (if you ever ask him about it)
but oh.... to top it all off nicely, you gotta sneak in some subtle angst!!! smh... (im so proud of you tho!! like yasss sis feed me sad shit >:333) poor scara and reader :( i think they would've gotten along if reader wasn't dottore's lover n' scara wasn't dottore's experiment ,,,
ALL IN ALL. fuck you pookie im not excited for the next two parts (im kidding I AM IM JUST... NOT READY... pleas epost it next year so i'll be ready enough thank you /jjj) NO SERIOUSLY THIS TIME,, THIS WAS SOOO GOOOD and i love it so much, really popped off honestly (evil laughs because it's dottore)... like im soo happy to see how much you've grown esp thru writing !!!
have a good day pookie, im going back to my grave where i died for the next few days 💗💗
ALSO I WAS GONNA SEND IN ANOTHER DOTTORE IDEA but i fucking forgot again. FUCKS SAKE i hate not writing shit down...
POOKS DONT EVEN WORRY!! Just make sure to take care of yourself ok?? School can really be an ass i understand-
BUT OMG GRENFRG AHHH YOU'RE MAKING ME SMILE TOO MUCH POOKIE AHHWQ I'm so happy you liked it 🥺 BUT NGL I WANNA GIVE READER THE BIGGEST HUG TOO 😭 i put them through too much don't i 😭 dw they will be getting Dottore comfort next chapter!!
Bro i love writing Omega as a devious mf so much 😭 IM SO GLAD U LIKED THAT PART BC I WAS GIGGLING TO MYSELF ABT HOW THEY DGAF ABT THINGS BUT THEN SUDDENLY THEYRE INTERESTED WHEN UR A PART OF IT
AND YESSSS READER MAKING FRIENDS RAHHHH that part was probably really long for a Dottore fic but. i feel like having friends is so important and fragile reader really deserve some niceness in their lives 🥺 AND OMG NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT. Fragile reader would be freaking blown away from inflation. i don't know how prices were four hundred years ago but they would probably be shocked to their core when they see how much expensive things are now?? imagine fragile reader trying to stop Dottore from buying things for them because of how expensive things are now, and they're having flashbacks to being a broke Akademiya student 😭 And Dottore is just honestly finding it amusing to see you freak out and beg him to save his money (it's okay, he's a Harbinger he's loaded) (as long as he's not spending it on experiments)
BUT YEAH MAYBE IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE... reader and Scara could have been friends :( we'll never know... but yasss i will continue to feed you sad shit >:) hehe I CANT WAIT TO POST THE FINAL PART!! ngl the ending of the fic was like. the first thing i wrote for it because it hit me and i was like i CANT forget this. im telling you pookie its gonna be pretty juicy. BUT THANK YOU YOU'RE BEING SO KIND AHHH it's really sweet of you. thank you for being here for so long in my writing journey (and my descent into Dottore madness) ily 🥺
#smooches talks#moots: kai <3#kai u should see my drafts. theres a bunch with just one sentence i quickly typed so i don't forget my ideas 😭#giving my biggest hug to u kai#mwah mwah I MISSED U#and literally baby zandy is the cutest person ever i want to give him piggy back rides#oh my gosh i love brainrotting with u
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Im always so surprised by how quickly you shoot out these ask aus?? how long do you take to answer because when the anon get going youre just as fast?
This in mind... if you wrote a fic right now what would it be?👀
Ironically I sat on this one Anon lmao
If I'm really in the mood, like when the Shisui anons are in a "feeding frenzy" (😂), then it's as fast as I can type haha but generally these days I sit at least 24hrs on an ask because of timezones, my IRL, and I also like to brood on an idea especially if it's a question I haven't considered before!
Right this moment? Well, it's my current brainrot idea tbh I'm planning on making an actual fic out of it but my hand is stayed by the fact I'm feeling a little... Shisui-predictable again 😅
It's a Shisui crossover, fml
So I've read some genuinely incredible Star Wars fics recently (I will rec some if people ask) and those are some definite inspirations.
(This is the brainchild born from reading Blackkat's fic:
And smilebackwards' series:
-which are beautiful works!)
So.... If Shisui was a Jedi (Master, probably, maybe newly advanced) then he'd 1000% be a Seeker, locating and saving Force-sensitive kids and bringing them back to the Temple. He's either woken up after dying in Narutoverse or he's been reborn, haven't decided yet, but he's got all that military prowess shoved in the back of his head and he's very happily clutching to the Light and the Jedi's teachings on peacefulness, mindfulness, and negotiation. He absolutely knows how to use the Force to Shunshin and stimulate a Genjutsu effect. He also has absolutely created his own Lightsaber Form based on his past life and that's how he became Master.
Then the war starts up.
The Grand Army of the Republic, GAR, is filled with Clone 'meat droid' soldiers who need Jedi to lead them... Shisui is not buying it, he's gonna flip his tits and save these guys. The Jedi council decide that, as they're not the experts here in warfare and it's a kindness of what choices the clones can have, the CC Commanders can pick their own Jedi Generals. The Jedi are called back to the Temple, Shisui rocks up almost late with like five war-torn orphans in his arms, and proceeds (alongside Mace, Obi-wan, Anakin) to be a total fucking BAMF lmao.
(Anakin is on probation after he almost massacred a clan of Sandpeople btw. Master Sharad Hett was in the area and felt the rising Darkness and intervened just in time. Anakin is seriously on thin ice for almost Falling so he's stuck under Obi-wan's direct leadership for the war)
Basically Shisui is picked by Rex (Cody immediately calls dibs on Obi-wan (who speaks Mando'a and has all that diplomacy under his belt) for High General and then the meeting completely goes off the rails as everyone (except Bly lmao) goes ballistic becausethere is a LOT of competition for who gets General Uchiha, holy shit that guy is a fighter) and heads the 501st Battalion! Bonus points if Shisui was the second-to-last Padawan of Dooku so Obi-wan is, like, his lineage-nephew despite being older lmao
(oh maybe shisui is presumed dead, a la Jon Antilles, after a Searcher mission goes tits up so Dooku thinks hes literally lost everyone... And Shisui comes back to find his master has fucked off 🙃)
Now I'm like what colour should his saber be... Like red would be the choice but that's a bleeding Kyber, it can't even be a one off difference like Mace's purple... Maybe gold, I always imagine Shunshin as yellow... Maybe white? Hm... oh it could be just off red, like flame orange, so it scares the shit out of everyone lmao....
Basically I'm shoving Shisui into this situation so that he can 1) be a total fucking BADASS 2) be the designated crush of 90% of the GAR and 3) fix canon without realising it 🤌✨
So, really, just the usual then 😂
Edit: in light of your first question, this answer took me 20 mins lol
#torship#torship talks#ask#anon#shisui#star wars#star wars au#jedi shisui#jedi general shisui#captain rex#shisui x rex#obi wan#cody#501st#212th attack battalion#codywan#ShiRex
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Oliver gives me the vibes of acting all cool collected and nonchalant but secretly obsessed with this one random thing like action figures a comic book series or a childish tv show and no one knows about it except when one day he sees a limited edition of something just his eyes light up his face pulls into the biggest most innocent smile and he lets out the most adorable little gasp when you ask him about it and immediately starts rambling about whatever it is and all you can do is just stare at this 6’3 man fanboying over a kids show with all the surprise and fondness and love in your eyes. Idk I just feel like once you get to really know this man and he really falls in love with you? That he’d let some of that facade down around you. I think it just means that he feels safe to be himself around you. And he doesn’t have that cool playboy image to uphold anymore at least not for a while and certainly not around you yknow? Idk that thought just came into my head and I had to share it with you. How are you btw? How’s uni? Hows the new show going? Also if you don’t mind. I will be ranting about the end of Tokyo Revengers in another ask and how it absolutely destroyed me and left me completely empty inside and just all the feelings because it’s my favorite and comfort manga. If that’s alright? *sends many virtual hugs*
- ✨ anon
✨ (the urge to call you starry or charmer but it’s upto you ♡) , I-
I love this. so much ♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ) this man has my heart and I had a dream about him last night
He'd fanboy over the little things so much - it's so adorable. 6'3 defender of japan going out shopping with you to buy figurines, mangas and pointing at the one he wants on the shelf with a smile. And imagine if you share the same passion? And what if it coincides?
I made some groundbreaking discoveries yesterday and many more reasons on why Oliver and I are the perfect couple
So I was curious to see if there was any fanart of him on twitter (cause the artists there are amazing and I found this one pic of tendou with like really short hair and he was fucking AHHh he was hot !! but anyway) I found a thread of discussion on Oliver
Turns out, he hates corn cause it gets stuck between his teeth and I have no words cause even I didn't like corn for that reason... but its alright to eat now ig; he likes shin ramyeon. (Literally stocked the goddamn thing into the cupboard yesterday adbfkjhfbhesff ) and he likes Spicy food!! 🥹
and his manga. *put on glasses* Chi: Chikyū no Undō ni Tsuite.
It is a historical manga and it’s coinciding with astronomy. *is a major of it at uni* I- Oliver is a nerd. He’s a nerd and I love him for it. And I’d like to think that there is a moment where he does engage with you in discussions about it and when you give him that look; that knowing look of ‘I know who you really are’ when he turns an argument into an intellectual one without realizing it. And he just gives you the look back of ‘I know. I’m not stupid. Surprise.’
And once he falls in love with you? playboy season is over and he will be locked.
I absolutely loved this thought and thank you for sharing it with me ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ♡
Cause seriously it fits well with his character and I can totally imagine him just being giddy about it (T.T) *heartclench*
What happened at uni today : So me and this guy I’ve known for 5 years since school share one of the majors we have out of two together. He’s very aloof, always sits at the back and doesn’t talk to anyone. But today since he was late, he sat next to me. And he goes ‘You’ve changed. You’ve lost a lost of weight.’ And not even in the positive way… it was condescending.
*proceeds to lose a debate against me* (like seriously you’d think I’d let that slide?)
I've also destroyed my glutes and elbows at the gym today and I'm writing more to the NNN challenge fic along with another one
Romantic killer is so cute and funny! I’d rec you to give it a watch !!
*passes cup of hot chocolate and a squishmallow* go on. I’m listening *pat pat* (੭˶•༝•˶)੭ ♡ You can rant to whenever you want <3
*sending warm and comforting hugs*
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Why.
So, I've been having this issue of my old PC from like 2018 is starting to feel a bit lacking in terms of performance. I'm not like a computer expert by any means so I've given alot of thought as to wether I should get a new one or upgrade this one.
My mind was set on just buying a whole new one so I could run my stuff better. I stumbled upon a video that talks about graphics card performance over the years up to now being not quite as exponential as expected gave me a bit of hope that my smelly 1060 can still do good.
Alittle after that too, my friend was buying a new PC since he's never had a dedicated gaming one. While the friend group was on call, we were just talking about ram and how 8 gigs used to be the alright but now it's the minimum. After that conversation I realized "WAIT A SECOND ALL OF MY PC ISSUES FEEL LIKE A RAM PROBLEM" since I only had 8 gigs.
Without much thought, I went online and bought an extra 8 gig stick which would give me at total of 16 gigs. With great difficulty due to the size of my graphics card, I was able to slot it in properly (2-4 slot thingy) and upon my first boot it was wonderful.
It was like my PC's asthma was cured. I could actually like play my games properly and tab out to discord to talk without it exploding. I tested a bunch of games and felt a giant weight off of my shoulders.
I should preface this by saying I bought a somewhat expensive set of digital isntruments (I don't actually recommend the one I bought) and because it ran terribly but still useable. I had the idea to upgrade my PC because of that.
You could imagine how I felt when the next boot a few hours later things felt "normal". It was like I didn't install that new stick of ram.
To my surprise, the task manager said something like 4.8/8 gigs memory, despite my PC correctly seeing that it has 16 gigs of ram. I didn't quite feel a pit in my stomach but my first thought was "ah fuck I paid for that".
I spent 3 hours or so troubleshooting, taking the PC apart several times, cleaning, slotting in different slots, messing with windows settings and eventually I got it to fully use 16 gigs. It was only shortly lived as during my testing I noticed that on a stress test the memory felt like it was capping at 8 gigs and after a bit more pushing, it just BLUE SCREENED.
It gave me the error code of not being able to access the ram and it rebooted. It started up as normal again but before it can hit my desktop, this time it blue screened againt this time maybe telling me about corrupted system files. At this point I felt like the gif of the emoji disintegrating.
It reboots up one last time and everything seems normal and I can access my desktop.
I check the task manager, it only sees 8 gigs.
I eventually give up and go to bed deciding to take it out when I wake up which leads us to now.
I suppose I'm lucky I didn't catastrophically destroy my PC since I don't have a back up for my files yet (hehe) but like, come on man, I paid money for that stick.
As a last resort I check the listing for any semblance of warranty I could use and behold I see it, the prime reason as to why forces beyond our comprehension decided to mess with me: "Not compatible with AMD processors"
CURSE YOU AMD FOR HAVING A GREAT DEAL FOR PROCESSORS WITH YOUR RYZEN 7
So, lesson learned: Read your tooltips (I'm an ffxiv player)
In all seriousness though, I'm kinda glad I went through the whole process because it gave me insight as to what I need to look out for when I actually get one whole money and buy a new PC.
It also gave me a newfound appreciation for the people in the computer repair industry that do this for a living. I imagine idiots like me walk into the store 200x a second with an easily remedied solution. Can't imagine the patience required haha.
I suppose when I can afford it, I can buy another ram and give it another go. It shouldn't be too hard this time since I'll be walking into the physical store and asking for what I need with my specs.
As for the ram, I might just give it away since it might still work with a non AMD processor. I did pay for it and I wouldn't want it to go to waste.
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my mom is up to some shady shit… i need to jus say fuck everything n take her to court to sort it all out 4 good. from now on im gonna move in silence.. im gonna gather all my evidence & meet w the ppl i need to meet w. in 2023 im going to live for me, no one else. if you have parents that love you… please realise how truly blessed you are. i am so envious of those of u who do, that’s all ive ever wanted. idk what my parents are up to.. but i jus know it’s not good. i couldn’t imagine ever treating my child this way… n going around acting like some kind of ‘amazing mom’ knowing full well that u couldn’t care less if i was alive or dead lmao. we jus had a conversation about how much money SHE would get if i died… that’s how fucked up she is. i am being so serious when i say this. if i die… she did it. she knows the EXACT amount that she will get from my death.. she knows the terms in which i have to die in order to collect the money. she told me if i kill myself she doesn’t get anything so if I plan to ‘commit suicide anytime soon’ atleast make it look like it was accidental or from other causes so that she can collect.. who the fuck says that shit to their child? while laughing. she’s serious.. she’s said it many many times & tells me when ‘my policy changes’. im not being dramatic. im 10000% sober & keeping it that way.
what’s worse is that my dad has been texting her about his own ‘death beneficiary’ & asked for my full name??? i was already on his will so im almost positive that they are conspiring (she would have said something to make him do it - most likely so that i don’t get any of his money or his house??? which is SO FUCKED UP like WTF) together to basically take me off of it & put her on it. they’ve been divorced since i was not even 2 years old. how evil can someone be… all she gives a fuck about is MONEY. ive never been like that.. im sentimental. i spent all my $$ on the ppl i love n they all fucked me over. i still.. to this day.. buy her whatever she wants.. anything she likes.. just to try & get her to be nice to me… to pay me some attention.. to spend time w me.. it works for about 30 seconds if that. she usually RETURNS my gifts for the cash bc she knows how much money i have spent on her. she doesn’t buy me a single gift for any fucking thing. yet id still give her the world if I could. i hate myself for it. i will NEVER FORGET my dad calling me around the time my nan was dying and telling me how much of a piece of shit i am & saying that im “nothing but a fucking bitch” bc my mom straight up lied to him n told him the only reason i talk to/see my dad is so that when he dies I’ll be able to get his house & money. LIKE WTF. she saw my dad one day when he came to visit my nan & he mentioned he started seeing some girl & the first thing she did was run home & tell me.. “you better start talking to ur father more.. he has a gf now so ur gonna end up w none of his money when he dies.” i was like where the fuck did that even come from… who thinks like that… who says that shit to their only child about their kids father???
he wasn’t sick.. he wasn’t dying… but i immediately panicked n thought something was wrong. that’s all i cared about. n she was like no he’s fine just though u should seriously rethink talking to him more before he changes his will…… i was like I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HIS WILL OR HIS MONEY???!!??!! so this makes COMPLETE SENSE for her to do to me… total sense. i should have seen this coming. especially from her. i jus never expected it from him.. but she’s so manipulative & has him twisted around her little finger now to the point where she’s somehow convinced him that this is ‘what is best’. she’s already stolen all of my own money… she took the money that my nan left me when my nan died. hid it in a secret bank account & most likely has already spent it (BUT I BET MY FAMILY DONT KNOW THAT RIGHT?! NOR DO THEY KNOW HOW SHE RLLY IS BC SHE ACTS FAKE AF) now she’s trying to take over my dads shit n he’s too blind to see wtf she’s doing. this is so fucking upsetting. like wtf…………….. who the fuck does this. then goes around talking shit about me to every family member?? to the point where i can no longer attend any family gatherings bc they think she’s so sweet n innocent n im some crazy delusional bitch? IM NOT UR FUCKING ENEMY IM YOUR CHILD. I HAVENT DONE ANYTHING WRONG TO YOU. i never wanted to take her to court.. i never wanted it to go this far… but holy shit… she is so evil. it hurts me so much. i just want a mother. that’s it. it hurts so bad. longing for something that’s so close.. yet so far removed. i genuinely do not know where the fuck to go from here… i just want her to give me everything that is legally & rightfully mine so i can LEAVE if she wants me gone so fucking bad. i feel like that’s the only way out. so i guess im gonna have to just do whatever it is i have to do to get all my shit legally & then just cut ties completely. she doesn’t deserve any of my kindness or my love.
& to anyone reading this n thinking/saying shit like “omg stop complaining if it’s so bad then why don’t u jus leave.” - im not stupid. if it was that simple don’t u think i would have left a long ass time ago? no one wants to be in an extremely toxic & abusive environment day in & day out. no one knows all of the shit i have gone through & it’s VERY HARD to just up & leave when you have been manipulated, brainwashed, exploited, controlled, & abused in every single way but the only two people who brought you into this world & were supposed to show you love, protect you & care for you. i have NEVER HAD THAT. EVER. this shit isn’t something new.. this is life long… i have only jus started to become aware of how bad the situation actually is within the last few years with the help of other adult professionals which i used to never be allowed to talk to. unless you have been subjected to the same exact shit you won’t understand it & pls realise how truly blessed u are to not know that kind of pain. it’s a miracle i am even still here standing on my own two feet. even if this legal shit doesn’t work.. atleast i can honestly say that i tried. but i need to start using my fucking smart ass brain instead of following my heart bc when has that ever worked out for me/helped me lmao? i need to now remember to always b alert of absolutely everything when it comes to her, i need to stay on my toes & make sure that i remain 10 steps ahead of her at all times. rn i feel like idk what’s going on n im extremely scared n it’s the worst feeling ever. that’s why i have written this n put this here for documentation & also evidence just incase. todays date is 13/12/22
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Conscienceless/Gewetenloos
TLDR: Our monarchy is a complete joke.
Friday was a rather interesting day in overall, which at first seemed unbearable due to the fact that I was unable to sleep and deadbeat tired, unfortunate enough to be tasked with the obligation of working. So what exactly did turn my day upside down?
The well renowned exploiting slumlord of a prince, cousin of our current king going by the name Bernhard van Oranje-Nassau Van Vollenhoven, happened to walk on the same road where I was stationed at for my working duties. (He is wearing the blue Nike bag attempting to be incognito, typically wearing glasses and being without security personnel, fyi I opted to blur other people in the image bellow intentionally out of respect and privacy.)
Oh and what made my day? I made this royal scum cousin of the king anxious, as he was walking passed me. When slowly reaching for my smartphone inside my pocket to take a picture of him, it was almost as if he feared that I was reaching for something different. The look on his face was absolutely priceless, his eyes cowered in fear for an instant.
(Fun fact): Did you know that the emblem of the Dutch royal family is symbolized by lions, and that they even refer to themselves as Lions too with that absurd false sense of pride and ego? But tell me this, without security staff you’re lion costume doesn’t fit anymore now does it? So many people share that weak mentality around here, once they are alone they are fucking nothing, but with others they supposedly feel powerful...
If anyone might wonder, why this outrageous and rather personal outburst/verbal post going after royalty you might ask? Well, it’s because Prince Bernard is quite the notorious and unscrupulous figure around here, and let me attempt to summarize that in a single sentence. Basically it is because: This fucking piece of shit owns around 600 homes and offices, around 102 homes in the capitol of Amsterdam alone, which is rather insane if you ask me.
He and many others are simply exploiting parasites, known as one of the several factors, primary roots of corruption that are deeply ingrained in the housing sector. Which have deeply influenced the inflation and rising prices, this applies especially for starters on the market.
As Bernard works with various cooperative schematics in ways involved, that are tied to the major shortages of houses in the Netherlands around 380.000 in total, being responsible for shifting the emphasize to be mainly placed on filthy rich housing sectors projects. Where there is very little room to none, for the creation of houses/apartments which can be affordable to incomes of lower and middle classed families. Making it nearly impossible for people, to even have a fair shot at the housing market in the capitol, or in other cities alike.
So I started to wonder after the prince left in his failed lowkey disguise, what his reasoning was for being in this area? It turned out that it was no mere coincidence that he was here, as the building next to my working site, was also selling an entire floor for a ridiculous €1.675.000 (see the images below) Imagine being such a shit person, that owning more then 100 houses in the capitol isn’t enough to satiate you’re bottomless greed, then you’re fucking beyond salvation.
Seriously, fuck the monarchy they can all go to hell! As they are nothing but gluttonous pigs down to the rotten core, living on the collective tax money of all its citizens, on each and every single product that you buy. If I wanted to I could devote more of my time and energy to expose, various other corruptive roots embedded in this country directly or indirectly related to our monarchy.
Don’t even get me started about our current king Willem-Alexander, with one of his annual subsidy bills alone he receives around €5.000.000, see for yourself here for the source. Which was meant to be spent on a nature preservation site in De Veluwe. Where one of the old palaces of the monarchy is located, which make up for a very large sector in the area which are off limits to the public every year, and also have dire implications for the flora and fauna because of deliberate waste material (nitrogen) being dumped there. He simply chooses not to spent the money, on improving the conditions for nature or its infrastructure, ideas of innovation. I could also take a moment to talk about the corruptive art trading conduct of business, that the Dutch monarchy is involved in as well, hello Queen Maxima I see you :)
The royal family in the Netherlands have been in vast decline in its overall popularity compared to other ages, now I wonder why that is? Obviously because of various scandals and the loss of credibility on so many counts...
Last year for instance, during a previous lockdown our King gave this speech to the country by broadcasting on television, saying that no one is permitted/allowed to travel abroad, because of Covid-19 and guess what he did himself? Visiting one of the many private accommodations owned by the royal family this time on Greece, but when the media caught on to that he returned swiftly after losing face with his family, and made half assed apologies that weren’t sincere at heart.
#Het Koninklijk Huis#Koningshuis#Monarchie#Monarchy#The Netherlands#Nederland#Holland#Huisjesmelker#Slumlord#Stikstof#Ongeloofwaardig#dutch royalty#gewetenloos#Blauwbloed#Koninklijke familie#Hypocracy#Hypocrieten
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Hey !! :D
How are you ? I hope you’re feeling okay ! :)
I love your writing, so.. can i request smtg ?
Idk if you write for these characters, if you don’t write for them or don’t like this request you can just ignore it !!
Then, can i request Tokyo Revengers boys (Mitsuya, Rindou, Izana and Chifuyu maybe ?) reacting to their s/o being followed and they just protecting them because theyre a lil scared ? Idk if that makes sense !! (Im french btw so english isnt my first language)
Thanks in advance <33
TR BOYS WHEN THEIR S/O IS BEING FOLLOWED
summary: what would they do if their s/o is being followed
characters: mitsuya, rindou, izana, chifuyu
warnings: reader being followed by stranger
note: hello nonnie!! tysm for requesting~ and don’t worry for the characters, i write for every of them if i don’t specify it <33
; you were totally scared, and you could sense that someone was following you since you got out of your school
; at first you tried to ignore it, but then you saw a shadow of a middle aged man behind you
; panic was starting to get into your body and you could barely breath
MITSUYA
; “y/n?”
; your boyfriend’s voice reached softly your ears
; slowly you looked into his eyes, scared
; “babe is everything alright?”
; you could still feel a presence behind a corner, so you lowered your voice
; “tsu, listen, there’s this man who’s following me since i got out of school.. c-could we walk a-away from here?”
; mitsuya immediately hugged you, pulling you closer to him
; “stay here angel, i’ll take care of it”
; then he walked towards the man, who instantly looked away, as if he wasn’t following you
; “you gotta a problem with my s/o, man?” your boyfriend asked calmly
; “hm? n-no? besides, who are you? do they really have a boyfriend?” the man sounded so annoying yet creepy
; “yup, and their boyfriend is right here, ready to beat the shit out of you”
; we can all imagine what happened later
;then mitsuya safely escorted you to his house, just in case that creep wouldn’t follow the both of you and know your address
; probably spent the whole night with you in his arms, just because he could feel that you needed it
IZANA
; “y/n?”
; you heard izana’s beautiful voice approaching you
; you quickly turned your face to meet his eyes
; “why.. are you trembling? did something happen?” you could tell by his tone that he was starting to worry
; you could barely speak, the only thing sure was that that man was still there, and he was coming closer to the two of you
; “excuse me, young boy, do you perhaps know them?” he asked to your boyfriend, who was still trying to understand the situation
; izana never took his eyes off yours, “yes, they are my partner, is there a problem?” he slowly turned to finally face the man
; “tsk” he just said, before trying to casually walk away from the both of you “it seems I’ve mistaken you for another person”
; you couldn’t even look at the man, because you knew that he will be there to follow you for all the following days, as he was doing since two weeks now
; “wait a sec old man” your boyfriend put a hand on the creep, stopping him “i don’t know why.. but my s/o here is quite afraid of you. ‘care to explain’?”
; “boy careful on how you speak to me, you will regret it”
; izana just let out a giggle before landing a kick on the man’s face, making him pass out
; “now then, angel. lets go home! i’ll put outta your school a bunch of my men, just to make sure this dude doesn’t follow you anymore”
; with this said, he placed an arm around your waist and started walking the two of you home
; prob spent all of the next hours with you, playing video games or doing some fun stuff together
RINDOU
; tbh this brat didn’t even see you, since he was walking while scrolling on his phone
; as soon as you saw him, you started walking faster, hearing also the steps behind you accelerate
; “rin! hello babe, what are you doing here?” you suddenly raised your voice in his direction, making him jump on his feet
; “hi sweet cheeks, just got out of school?” he said, placing a quick kiss on your lips
; he immediately noticed that someone was hiding behind a tree not far from you, but still decided to ignore it, maybe it was just a coincidence
; “what are you up to?” you asked with a trembling voice, he raised his eyebrow trying to understand why
; “is.. everything alright y/n?”he whispered
; “no its fucking not. there’s a creep that has been following me since i got out of school.. now that i think about it, i-its not even the first time i see him, he’s always walking around here..”
; your boyfriend immediately embraced you, telling you not to worry
; his scent succeed to calm you down a bit, and when he made sure of this, he quickly took off his glasses
; “can i leave them in your hands for a bit? im afraid they will dirt with blood”
[…]
; then he took you to his home, and spent a whole evening cuddling with you in his arms, eventually letting you style his hair
CHIFUYU
; this boy will stand for you even against 100 and im not joking
; the problem now was that he wasn’t here with you, while some creep was following you
; and he wasn’t even answering to your calls or messages
; you were seriously tempted to call the police, until you heard a familiar voice
; “come here,,, kitty kitty, where are you? I’ve brought you food~”
; you heavily sighed
; “oh my god chifuyu not again” you said to yourself, completely forgetting the old man behind you
; you ran to your boyfriend as soon as you saw him, scolding him because he shouldn’t buy cat food every time he sees one of them
; he cutely pouted at you, faking his sadness “but look at how cute he is!”
; you two ended up staying on the street for all evening, with the cat, being a lovey-dovey couple
; that man probably died of cuteness and understanding that you already had a boyfriend, he never followed you again
; he probably started being afraid of cats ofter this
#🍓—vany tr’s hcs#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo revengers fluff#tokyo revengers headcanons#mitsuya x reader#rindou x reader#chifuyu x reader#izana x reader
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request: SWIMSUIT SHOPPING WITH JJK CHARACTERS — (yuuji, megumi, and gojo satoru ver!)
notes: i’ve reached a point in hell of no return, help 😩 anon knows exactly what she’s talking about and i’d be more than honoured to add on to this concept
warnings: nsfw content such as public sex, overstimulation, degradation, manhandling, oral sex (f and m receiving), road head, and slight cumplay (nsfw under the cut!) + this is unedited/not proofread,
(all minor characters are aged up)
masterlist ! requests are open
ITADORI YUUJI
he’s a pretty innocent boy
in a way that he’s not always dirty minded instead of him totally being...well, inexperienced
so when you ask him if he can come with you pick a swimsuit, he happily agrees
he loves going shopping with you and is extremely patient even if you take half an hour in just one shop
he’d happily carry your bags for you
seriously, this man is so low maintenance, he’s not going to ask for anything else or whine that you’re taking too long or that he’s hungry
he’s REALLY really patient and supportive of you
and even though he’s not an expert in women’s fashion, he’ll honestly give his opinions if he thinks a dress or shoe looks good on you or no
he might also remind you just how convenient your outfit would be on the event you plan to use it t
but this time, it’s a different case because you’re buying a swimsuit
now, yuuji’s seen you naked before so it’s nothing new to him anymore, but the moment he walks inside the swimsuit shop with all types of frilly bras and colorful pieces, he’ll immediately duck his head down in respect
he’s pretty fidgety the whole time
if you bring up a certain red polka dot bikini in front of your clothed body, tilting your head to the side innocently to ask, “how about this?”
yuuji’s brain will fry right then and there
he can imagine just how great you’d look in it, but he doesn’t want to be rude or too obvious so he’ll just nod and go,
“yeah, babe, that’d look great on you!”
he’s pretty silent the whole time, but really, all the blood’s rushed to his cock already
the whole drive back, yuuji is already so sensitive and clenching his jaw with his hands firmly gripping the steering wheel while you sit next to him, hiding your smirk
you almost want to laugh at how flustered he is, but he’s trying his best not to show it
but you’re not that bad, and so you ask him to pull over because the tent in his pants looks so uncomfortable and you doubt he’ll be patient enough to jack off in the bathroom when you both go back home
he’s confused at first, glancing over you with worry
“why, what’s wrong? did you want to go somewhere else?”
“no,” you laugh, pushing your hair back into a makeshift ponytail
and THAT has yuuji driving recklessly and swerving real fast and furious style because he knows what’s about to happen next
despite his eagerness, he’s still concerned about you, breathing heavily as you lean over your seats and start to unzip his pants
“a-are you sure about this? you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to,”
poor baby is already shaking the moment your nails rake over his thigh, your breath just ghosting over his clothed erection which is already damp with pre-cum
this makes you hum in agreement because yes of course you’re sure
you had a feeling yuuji would be turned on with this little escapade anyway, but you didn’t think he’d be this needy already
now it’s time for you to relax your throat and prepare yourself because yuuji is THICK
safe to say, all your arrogance is gone the moment you choke on his length, his big hands helping you keep the hair away from your face
meanwhile, yuuji is messily thrusting his hips up to your mouth, enjoying the way you just feel so warm around him
“f-fuck, baby, feels so good. i can imagine you already in that flimsy material, you’d be so pe-perfect, fuuckk.”
your chest swells with pride, always having been weak when it comes to his praising
once he reaches his high and paints your face white, yuuji lazily pulls you closer to him to kiss you, moaning when he tastes himself on your lips
you only giggle at how romantic he is even when your hands are still stroking his softening cock, and yuuji shudders a bit at the gesture
because he’s been such a great and supportive boyfriend today, you swipe at the cum near your lips, which makes yuuji’s eyes darken when you collect it with the tip of your tongue
then, as innocently as you could bat your eyelashes at him, you grin,
“would you like to see me wear it tonight? just for you?”
FUSHIGURO MEGUMI
PLEASE HELP THIS BOY
“gumi, can you come shopping with me tonight? there’s a pool party this weekend with my friends and i need a new swimsuit.”
he wants to say yes because duh
but he also wants to say no because he’d rather not walk around in public with a raging erection
and we all know megumi is big, like come on, he’s toji’s son
like yuuji, i don’t think megumi is that perverted either, but he’s still a teenage boy with raging hormones
he may have more control over himself than yuuji, but he knows his limits
a swimsuit is honestly so innocent — it’s not even half as tempting as when you surprised him with a white lingerie set (which resulted you two in not getting out of bed the whole weekend lmao) so he wonders why the hell he’s so nervous
eventually he convinces himself that going with your girlfriend while she shops for a swimsuit isn’t anything new and it’s just a “normal couple thing” so bedgrudingly, he sighs and agrees
which he immediately regrets the moment you head straight for the skirtinis
there’s so much to choose from, and his eyes widen at the absurdity of how there’s so many designs and patterns
i feel leki megumi is a cheapskate, so he’ll be more focused first on criticizing the price tags before looking at you
“25 dollars for this...thing?”
he’ll shake his head in disapproval, but then straighten up when he sees you frown
“i think it looks cute. don’t you like it?”
you push up a frilly pink skirtini, the shade a soft pastel one that just looks so innocent and cute on you
it doesn’t help that you’re gazing up at him under your lashes either, a small pout on those kissable lips
he admits it does look cute, even cuter because you’re the one wearing it, but he still doesn’t like the price lmao
or at least...not until he’s seen you wearing it
once you’ve both gotten home, megumi heads straight to the kitchen because he’s been so parched (he won’t tell you that he’s been subconsciously swallowing his saliva the whole time, showing him material by material until it all gets suspiciously thinner and more revealing)
he doesn’t like limiting you or telling you what to wear, either, so he just follows you like a lost puppy, careful to note stare too much at anything to not make anyone uncomfortable
but then he goes back to your shared room, just about ready to call it a day since you sure did take your sweet time, and he sees you strutting in your underwear in front of the mirror
megumi freezes at the door like a lagging npc LMAO
“...y/n?”
you smile, turning to him as if he hadn’t just caught you checking yourself out, which he doesn’t blame you for because you look absolutely stunning in it
the skirt just hides the supple flesh of your thighs, but really, he’s more stunned at how your ass looks so perky in that skintight material
megumi looks away, flushed, running a hand through his hair because he’s too much of a gentleman to outright say he finds you so sexy in fear it would sound weird
but you take his sudden aversion something else, and you wrap your arms around yourself a little consciously, voice turning small
“does it look bad on me?”
he immediately picks up on how small you’ve made yourself, his eyes snapping to yours
“no, you look amazing! why would you think that?”
you pout, “you suddenly looked away. it felt like you don’t really like it.”
at this point, megumi is such a blushing, stuttering mess, approaching you carefully with his words stll stumbling over one another
“that’s not true,” he sighs, rubbing his hands on your bare arms, finally letting himself loose and shamelessly staring at how your breasts are just right under him, waiting to be touched
the tension in the room begins to thicken, and you shiver when his hands trail down your hip before squeezing the flesh almost possessively
“beautiful,” he’d murmur almost absentmindedly, and by the time you’re practically melting in the heat of his gaze, megumi just goes ‘fuck it’ and straight out kisses you
he’s gentle though
he knows you felt insecure and so he wants to take his time with you, touching you in places he knows you liked, curling his fingers in just the right spot that has you seeing stars
he doesn’t do anything that would make your body shake, but it still feels good — a lot more like lovemaking
and it is
he wants you to know he loves you and that you’re the most beautiful being ever in his eyes
megumi will kiss you starting from your calves and up to your belly, where he hovers for a minute before changing his mind and diving back down to where you want him the most
small, kitten licks in your core that has you dripping in his tongue, your hands fisting his hair
megumi doesn’t stop telling you how pretty you look just like that, loosing yourself in the pleasure he’s giving you
he doesn’t neglect your breasts; one of his hands reaching up to softly pinch the beaded nipples which has you riding and humping his face even more
megumi buries his face in your heat in that moment, his nose bumping your clit every now and then, and you feel so beautiful with how he can’t seem to get enough of you
he knows this just by the way you clamp down on his tongue, sweet juices coating his lips and he drinks it all like a starved man
“cum for me, sweet girl,” he coaxes, his thumb pushing your lips open as he watches you come undone for him
“that’s right — fuck — you’re so gorgeous, so perfect, just mine.”
and just when you think he’s had enough, megumi only flips you until your core is right on top of his face, his large hands merciless as he pushes your hips forward and backward on his tongue
similar to before, you and megumi stay in bed all day long with him going round per round, never getting tired of making you feel good until you’re just laying spent on your bed, juices flowing out of your abused core
you push megumi away when his fingers slide in your inner thigh
but no he’s not quite done with you yet
“no,” he growls softly, pushing your hands away and pinning you under his weight. “i’m not stopping until you finally see yourself the way i see you. so divine, so ethereal.”
your body is something he’ll never get tired of worshipping
you’re hella tired
but hey who are you to complain
you only wish megumi hadn’t ruined your swimsuit with your cum, but after a promise that he’ll jsut get you another one, you lose yourself to another mind blowing orgasm
GOJO SATORU
let’s be real here
you know EXACTLY what you’re asking for the moment you dragged him into a swimsuit shop
you don’t even bother asking him if he wants to go anymore because gojo being gojo, he’ll be whiny about it, saying you could just surprise him the moment you get home
to which you roll your eyes and say, “this isn’t for you, gojo.”
hah, but anything that is yours is his, and your body is definitely his
gojo is nothing but bored
he wants to go home already and just fuck you already, and he’s getting on your nerves so you threaten that you’re not letting him touch you for a whole week if he doesn’t shut up and accompany you for once
it’s not that gojo is mean and unsupportive of you, he’s just so horny in that moment he can’t think straight
but he also really, really likes touching you so the big man just pouts and crosses his arms
sighing loudly and rather dramatically
it only takes a few seconds before gojo straightens up, peeking under his blindfold when you pick up a plain black bikini with the top knotted behind your neck
it’s not really your style though, so you’re about to move to another design when gojo whines
“wait, why not that one? it would look great on you.”
ofc you know i’ll look great on you, but it’s not your favorite, and it’s fun to tease gojo so you shrug nonchalantly, picking up a dark blue legsuit instead
gojo absolutely LOSES it
man takes off his blindfold just to glare at the material as if it offended him
“babe, what the fuck is that?”
“it’s a legsuit, perfect for scuba diving. plus, it protects my skin from the sun. i wouldn’t want a sunburn.”
the way gojo laughs is so cocky you consider choking him with the suit
“that’s what you have me for?” he points to himself incredulously, “i’ll put the sunblock all over your body babe, you don’t even have to worry about that.”
“please. i’d already be stripped down to my birthday suit before you even get to open the bottle,” you scoff, muttering under your breath, “damn fucking horny guy can’t keep his thing inside his pants.”
however, this doesn’t faze gojo
“and what’s so wrong with finding my girlfriend so sexy and hot i want to fuck her all the time?”
honestly what the hell were you thinking, assuming that you’d one-up gojo when this man would always be superior when it comes to being dirty LMAO he is just so shameless
but whatever, you ignore him, heading to the checkout with a self-assured smile
gojo trails behind you, his anger radiating off of him so strongly you can feel it
“y/n.”
“y/n, you can’t even swim. don’t fuck with me and say you’re buying that to ‘scuba dive.’”
“what, so i can’t learn now?”
“just buy the black bikini. it looks great on you.”
“i told you already, i’m not buying that and wearing it for you. i only dragged you here because i need someone to carry my bags.”
you know what happens to brats?
they get punished.
and that’s exactly what happens
gojo grabs your wrist rather roughly back to where you’ve left the black bikini, and not only does he shove it to your chest, commanding you to wear it, but he also shoves you in the nearest dressing cubicle
next thing you know, gojo has his palm over your mouth as he pounds into you from behind, absolutely railing you to the point tears are flowing down your cheeks
“look at you — not so bratty now, are we? you’re just a slut for my cock, aren’t you, sweet girl?”
gojo lifts one of your legs up in the crook of his arm, forcing you to look at the way your pussy greedily sucks him in in front of the mirror
you’re so wet that the squelching of your pussy, along with the slapping of skin, resonates in the cramped space
you reach behind gojo and move away from his hand, gasping breathily while your breasts bounce
“gojo, ah, shit — we might get caught.”
“do i look like i give a fuck, baby?”
no, he doesn’t. and he proves this by pushing you down by the back until your cheek is squished against the mirror, your ass pressed against his pubic bone
with the way gojo’s hips are angled and his long cock is hitting places only he can reach, you no longer care about people finding you in this position
your mouth is open, eyes rolling at the back of your head and drool even begins to slide from your lips
this makes gojo laugh, two of his fingers rubbing against where you two are connected to gather your wetness before shoving it into your mouth
“shut the fuck up, you slut.”
gojo’s large hands then comes up to grab and squeeze your hips roughly; you think he’ll leave bruises there or marks in the shape of fingers
he’s basically using you as his fucktoy now, paying no mind to how you’re crying from how he’s hitting in so deep and fast
your body just transcends into a different dimension
you’re fucked out, crying and begging for him to go slower
“gojo — baby — p-please, a little more gentle, ah, fuck.”
“what was that?” he teases, bending forwards to nip at your ear. the sudden shift in angles has the tip of his cock kissing your cervix, and you immediately clench around his cock.
gojo taps your lips when your eyes shut close from the exhaustion, barely able to comprehend anything else other than the familiar coil deep in your belly
“i couldn’t hear you, princess. speak louder.”
“slower, please,” you beg, placing your sweaty palms flat on the mirror in an attempt to hold onto something. “too much, satoru, t’much.”
poor you, his baby looks so tired and fucked out
with a sarcastic sigh, he kisses the pads of your shoulders, then bites the knot of your black bikini until the material falls to the ground
your breasts are now free from its confines, and his rough hands reach to fondle them
you expect him to grip it possessively like how he always does, but instead, he massages them with tender care, whispering sweet nothings in your ear
one of his hands reach over to where your hands are, looping it through your fingers while his thrust slows down
he forms a tantalizing pace of hitting deep before pulling out in a such slow, torturous fashion then slamming back in until he bottoms out in one thrust
it’s dirty, lewd, and still very much wrong — but it feels so right and it’s rare that gojo ever listens to you so you find it romantic
gojo isn’t the least bit apologetic when you’re both kicked out from the shop
because in the end, he won, and he holds your shopping bag with the cum-stained black bikini proudly all the way back to his car
#gojo x reader#gojo x reader smut#gojo-satoru-x-reader#gojo-satoru-x-reader smut#gojo x reader headcanons#gojo satoru headcanons#gojo satoru#jjk gojo satoru#itadori yuuji x reader#itadori x reader#itadori x reader smut#itadori yuuji x reader smut#itadori yuuji headcanons#itadori headcanons#itadori yuuji#fushiguro megumi x reader#megumi x reader#fushiguro megumi x reader smut#fushiguro megumi headcanons#megumi headcanons#megumi x reader smut#jjk smut#jjk headcanons#jujutsu kaisen headcanons
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Tattoo Heart
Summary: Tony and you make a dumb drunk decision. He gives you a tattoo.
“Um, what the hell, Tony! You said it wasn’t that bad.”
“It’s not! It’s well-proportioned. Really it’s the best heart I’ve ever drawn. I don’t know why you’re so upset. It could have been worse.”
“The heart isn’t the problem. You tattooed Wanda’s name on it!”
“Yeah, I can see why you’re mad.”
You poked your sore arm. Out of all places, he had to tattoo it on your arm above your elbow where everyone could see. Talk about bad placement.
You pout, “How am I supposed to hide this?”
“Baseball tee’s could make a comeback. You’ll be a trendsetter,” he suggests, not helping at all.
You glare at him. “You’re paying for it to be removed.”
“I expected no less,” he concedes. You’re still touching the tender spot, frowning. He stops you. “Poking it is not going to make it go away.”
“Fuck! I’m never getting drunk with you again,” you vow.
“You say that now, but come Friday night, whiteclaw in hand, you’ll have no recollection of this ever happening.”
“Getting a tattoo with your crush’s name on it is kind of hard to forget, Tony,” you spit out. He wears a sheepish smile. Speaking of the party on Friday, “Shit!”
“What?” Tony asks, clearly not processing the situation you’re in as fast as you are.
“Wanda’s gonna be there,” you remember.
“Well, yeah. It’s Pietro’s birthday party and they’re twins so,” he comments sarcastically.
“It’s a pool party. How am I supposed to hide this?”
“Just don’t get in the pool. Or you know what, just don’t go. Say you got sick,” Tony suggests.
“I can’t do that. She expects me to be there and I don’t want to let her down on her birthday,” you explain. Wanda had personally invited you to her party, saying you were going to be her partner for beer pong.
“Fine. Don’t worry about it too much. We have all week to figure something out,” he reasons. You guess he’s right. No use in stressing too much.
Friday afternoon comes too fast.
You’re stressing as you look at yourself in the mirror. You look ridiculous.
“You’re literally a genius and this was the best you could come up with?” you complain. You already feel yourself sweating. You hadn’t thought of what to wear. You only had your one piece bathing suit. Tony told you he had something and you trusted him. What he brought you, a long sleeve rashguard to wear over your bathing suit.
“Makeup was just going to wash off. We couldn’t chance it. This way, you can get in the pool,” he says.
“I look like I’m going surfing, not a pool party,” you huff.
“You look fine. If anyone asks, you burn easily. Now let’s go. Your girlfriend is waiting on you,” he rushes you along, grabbing your stuff for you. You throw on some shorts and slip on some sandals.
“She’s not my girlfriend,” you mumble, blushing as he pushes you out the door.
“Oh, I know. This wouldn’t be such a big deal if she was.” He closes the door.
Pietro opens the door for you and Tony. You both hug him and congratulate him on another year of being on this earth or as Tony puts it, “Congrats on being one year closer to death!”
Technically, their birthday is tomorrow but they always have a birthday dinner with their parents, so they celebrate with their friends either the day before or after. You and Tony hand Pietro your present for him.
“Just don’t open it in front of your parents,” you warn. He decides to unwrap it right then. You roll your eyes at his impatience to wait until tomorrow. To his satisfaction it’s running shoes with a bottle of alcohol in each shoe. He laughs, thanking you for his present. He notices you looking around, searching for a certain somebody. He already knows who you’re looking for.
“She’s in the kitchen,” he tells you, a smirk appearing on his face when you blush at being so obvious. You thank him and go find Wanda.
As Pietro said, she is in the kitchen fixing some appetizers to bring outside. What you weren’t prepared for was her already in her bikini, like she’s ready to jump into the pool. Her two piece bathing suit doesn’t leave much to the imagination but you’re quite the daydreamer it seems. You’re snapped out of your trance by Wanda clearing her throat.
She wears a smirk much like her brother’s and you splutter an embarrassed, “H-hi! Happy Birthday. You, uh, you look good. Great! You look ready for the pool.”
She smiles, amused by your awkwardness. “Thank you. You look ready for the beach.”
You blush. “Yeah, I burn easily,” you lie and quickly move on, handing her the present you got her. “Here.”
“You didn’t have to get me anything,” she says, but you shake your head. “Of course I did. It’s your birthday tomorrow. You can open it now if you want. Your brother did.”
“Unlike my brother, I can wait. Let me go put it in my room. I’ll be right back. Wait here,” she requests. You nod and she leaves with her present. You respectfully turn your gaze to the appetizers, not wanting to ogle her backside.
“Cowabunga, dude! What the hell are you wearing?”
“No way. I almost wore the same thing. Good thing I didn’t or that would be embarrassing.”
You roll your eyes, turning around to see Sam and Rhodey, both clearly amused by their own jokes. You give them an unimpressed look and they laugh harder.
“Haha. So very funny,” you deadpan.
“Seriously, Y/N, why are you wearing that? It’s like a thousand degrees,” Rhodey asks.
“Maybe I’m insecure and you guys laughing just makes me feel worse? Maybe thought of that?” you retort, but neither buy it. They look at each other and start laughing.
“Insecure, my ass. You almost give Tony Stark a run for his money in the size of ego,” Sam says between laughs. You just roll your eyes.
Wanda returns to find the guys pressing you about the long sleeves.
“Hey, Wanda. I think you might have given Johnny Kapahala the wrong address. She’s gonna be late for the competition,” Sam jokes and you hate that you get the joke. Wanda doesn’t and looks adorably confused. All she knows is they’re referring to you so she looks at you for an explanation but you ignore her in order to throw your own remark.
“At least Johnny wasn’t afraid to swim at the beach,” you bite, making Rhodey and Wanda laugh and Sam take offense.
“There are sharks!” Sam defends himself, making you all laugh.
The three of you help Wanda bring out the appetizers to the backyard. They’ve got a table and a bunch of chairs laid around. Wanda asks if you’d like a drink and goes to fetch one for the two of you while you greet other friends.
“You didn’t want one?” You ask her when she returns with only one drink. “If we’re going to be beer pong partners, you can’t leave me drinking alone.”
She giggles and takes a swig from your drink. “Happy?” She asks when she returns the drink to you and smirks upon seeing the slight blush on your cheeks.
You get a few more remarks about the rashguard but with a few drinks in everyone’s system, the pool is more enticing than poking fun at you. You didn’t plan to get in the pool but with a simple “come on” from Wanda, you’re cannonball jumping into the deep end.
Once it’s dark, you all begin to vacate the pool in order to play games. You and Wanda play two games of beer pong seeing as neither of you are very good and you think you’ll surely be sick if you play another round.
You eat, you dance, you sit around and talk to your friends, and Wanda is with you the whole time. It’s midnight and you’re right beside her as everyone sings for her and Pietro. She hands you the first slice of cake, which you eat standing up just to stay next to her as she cuts a piece for everyone.
It’s nearing 2am as people begin to leave. Wanda and Pietro make sure everyone is getting home safely, either taking a LIFT or having a designated driver. You and Tony stay later to help the twins clean up, which they greatly appreciate.
Almost an hour later, the house looks as if there hadn’t been a party. You and Tony wish them happy birthday once more before he pulls out his phone to call an Uber. The twins insist you two stay, that it is way too late and they’d feel better if you do.
Tony wiggles his eyebrows discreetly at you when Wanda invites you to sleep in her room. You spare him a warning glance before following Wanda to her room. She offers you some pajamas and hands you a long sleeved tshirt like you ask. You excuse her questioning glance saying you get cold at night.
You change in the bathroom. When you return, you find Wanda also in her pajamas sitting on her bed with the present you gave her earlier in her hand.
“You want to open that now?” You ask, amused at her eagerness to open it.
“I mean it is my birthday now,” she reasons. You nod, closing the door and going to sit next to her. “Or is this one of those ‘open when you’re alone’ presents?”
You quirk an eyebrow. “What kind of presents are those?”
“One of those romantic ones like in the movies that show that you’ve always loved me or something,” she replies. Your palms feel sweaty all of a sudden with the way she stares at you. She reads the nervousness on your face and takes pity, continuing, “Or a vibrator.”
You burst in giggles. “Damn it. How’d you know?” you joke.
It’s not a vibrator, obviously. You got her two necklaces, one gold with her name and the other sterling silver with her initials.
“I was going to just get you the gold one but then I thought maybe you wanted one to match all those rings you wear so, that’s why there are two,” you explain.
She puts the box aside and throws her arms around you, pulling you flush into her. “Thank you. I love them.”
“Are you sure? ‘Cause I could totally return those and get you a vibrator if that's what you want,” you laugh. She pulls back immediately, a frown on her face.
“No, they already have my name,” she protests, pulling a chuckle from you. She hands you the golden one that says ‘Wanda’ and asks, “Will you put this one on me?”
At your nod, she twists around, turning her back to you and sweeping her hair up. You struggle with the clasp a little due to your nervousness, but you get it. Had you paid closer attention, you would have noticed how Wanda shivered at your touch.
She turns back around and you admire her with your gift around her neck. “It looks great on you.”
She leans toward you again and you assume it’s to give you another hug, which you wouldn’t mind one bit, but she doesn’t move her head to the side the way one does to hug someone. Her nose bumps into yours and you realize she’s going to kiss you.
For some damn reason you pull away before her lips reach yours. She looks embarrassed and begins to apologize, “Sorry, I misread that. I thought with the present and the way you’ve been looking at me all day, shit.”
“No, you didn’t misread anything,” you reassure her. She relaxes. “Can we try that again? I was just nervous, but I’m ready now.”
“Are you sure?”
“Wait.” You get up and make a show of shaking off the nerves and pumping yourself up before you sit back down. “Okay, now I’m ready.”
She giggles, grabbing your face and pulling you into her, kissing the life out of you. She moves to lie back on the bed and you follow her lead. You’re kissing and it’s getting hot and she tugs on your shirt. You remove it without a second thought. You begin kissing down her neck pulling sweet noises when you leave a love bite. She gasps and grips your arm, right above your elbow.
You flinch in pain. The sudden intake of breath tips her off and she pulls her hand away. She asks worriedly, “Are you okay?”
You remember the tattoo and the fact that it’s not so hidden right now. You start to panic. “Yep, why? Are you okay?”
She narrows her eyes in suspicion, but you kiss her with the intention to make her forget. A minute later, she does it again, grabbing right on that spot. You try not to, but she hears the small groan and she pulls away. “Okay, what’s wrong?”
“Wrong? Nothing’s wrong,” you lie.
“Then why do you flinch every time I grab your arm?” She moves to grab your arm again to prove a point but you move it away.
“Nothing’s wrong with my arm,” you deny. She sits up and reaches for your arm. Once more you pull out of reach.
“Y/N, let me see your arm,” she demands.
“Okay.” You try to save yourself from some of the embarrassment by explaining, “But before you look, just know I did it on a drunken dare and I didn’t know until the day after what Tony actually wrote.”
That piques her curiosity and she shuffled around you to take a look at your arm. You can’t watch, so you hide your face behind the palm of your other hand. You expect her to either laugh at you or get upset, but moments pass and you don’t hear anything.
You get the nerve to look over your shoulder at Wanda. She looks indecisive about what she wants to say, but she doesn’t look mad. Finally, she says, “I guess I don’t have to ask if you like me or not.”
You groan in embarrassment, hiding your face again. She laughs and pulls you into her as she lies back down. “Don’t laugh. It’s embarrassing enough getting your crush’s name tattooed on you. I don’t need her to actually make fun of me.”
“Aww, you have a crush on me?” she coos.
You pull away, giving her a deadpan look. “No, I get girls’ names tattooed on me all the time.”
“Having your crush’s name tattooed is embarrassing,” she agrees.
You narrow your eyes, thinking she's just making fun of you now and that was the last thing you need but she continues, “So how about we say it’s your girlfriend’s name?”
Your eyes widen. Wanda bites her lip nervously, waiting for your answer, and that’s how you know she’s serious. You blush, “That would be less embarrassing.”
“I think so too. So what do you say?” She asks, wanting a clear answer.
“I would love to be your girlfriend,” you answer.
She smiles and kisses you. You can’t help the giddy laughter that comes after.
“You know, he didn't do too bad. It’s pretty well-proportioned.”
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Hey, can you spread this around because /I'm/ apparently harassing someone for spreading information that their 18+ comic's main character has a 16 doing nsfw stuff in it with adult men. The author is an adult and doesn't advertise this obviously. It's Hikaru Yagi, her comic is Ciri, the Child of Destiny.
Please don't send me stuff like this.
I don't know if you are harassing this person, because I don't know anything about this situation. You can be right and also harassing someone, and I just. don't know. I don't know anything about this comic, so I don't know if that's true or how that is presented -- whether it is presented as wholesome or predatory, for example, which makes a difference.
You could be totally right to call this out and I still wouldn't have enough information to say 'yeah, this is clearly wrong, you're clearly right,' because I neither know enough about this nor do I genuinely have the time or energy to research whether this particular piece of media actually contains that content and whether it supports or condemns it. I don't know what the age of consent is where this person lives, nor where the comic is set, nor whether the fictional adults in question are 18 or 30. My longest HS relationship started when I was 16 and my partner was 19, which falls within what you've described, but was moral, legal, and one of the kindest and most wholesome things you could imagine.
And honestly, I only have so many hours in the day, and so much energy. I am a disabled artist with chronic fatigue, y'all. I don't have time or money to go buy a comic to confirm these details, or plow through someone's social media to find all the context.
To be fully clear, since someone's going to fucking twist this: I am not supportive of child porn. Fucking duh. Fictional (that is, graphic novel, short story, novel, anything except video, photo or other recordings of a real underage person engaging in real sex acts with a real adult) depictions of underage sexuality, even statutory rape, since that's what 'a 16yo having sex with someone outside the acceptable age band which may include adults, is not child porn. Hell, even depictions of statutory rape can exist as part of depicting a survival story, and I have no idea whether this is the case or not.
And when y'all bring me this stuff like this, you're asking me to make a snap judgment based on literally one sentence of description out of context, and broadcast it to thousands and thousands and thousands of people.
That would be irresponsible of me, because I don't have all the facts, nor do I have all the hours in the day to research them. I am a human being who has to pick their battles.
Last but not least, I am a CSA survivor. I was predated upon by a cis woman when I was quite young. Please do not come and dump stuff like this on me without warning. I shouldn't have to explain my past for 'don't dump potential CSA content on me without warning' to be a thing that is respected, but, like, fuck's sake, y'all.
I presume that you mean well, here. I am not presuming malice but a genuine intent to warn people about content you believe to be harmful. But I am saying 'this was pretty thoughtless and quite triggering, and I can't verify any of it, don't do this to me, please.'
This isn't up for discussion or argument; I'm pretty upset now. Anyone trying to discuss or argue this in the notes will just get blocked. Seriously. Don't respond. Don't tag it with your commentary, because I will see that in my notes, too. Just leave this post alone and go about your business. This conversation is closed.
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i was thinking about ds9 ships in the shower. anyway the fundamental thing about worfdax is like. it could never have worked. they were just deeply incompatible people. also to be clear i'm specifically talking about jadzia here.
anyway the thing is that i like, totally buy that they got together, and even stayed together for a while. both worf and jadzia are prone to thinking with their dicks and i buy that they had sexual chemistry. like, worf has a certain melt-the-ice-queen charm about him and i can definitely imagine jadzia seeing him as a challenge. and jadzia definitely fits into a type worf has: expressive, powerful, quick, charming, clever, dangerous, larger-than-life, older or more well-established within their society than worf himself. a lot of the women worf has been attracted to have kind of fit this mold: k'ehleyr and grilka come to mind. you could even read a certain degree of homoerotic subtext into his interactions with garak in broken link, and garak definitely fits that bill. plus she's an icon to him, a hero, and that would definitely draw him to her. it might draw her to him, also, since it's nice to be admired and worshiped. plus they're both like, hot people, and on that grounds alone it makes sense that they're attracted to each other.
but in terms of personality they're simply not each other's type. while worf has certainly demonstrated an attraction towards people like jadzia over the course of his life, we've never really seen him develop meaningful relationships with them. instead, the strongest relationships we've seen him have are his friendships with dr. pulaski and guinan, which were both defined by them meeting him where he was at when other people would have brushed him off for being weird, and him responding to that with loyalty and respect, and his romance-friendship with troi, which involved something similar, plus her being gentle with him and him eventually opening up and giving his reserves of gentleness and earnestness back to her. and then jadzia just isn't compatible with worf at all. what jadzia wants is someone clever, someone who can keep up with her, a partner in crime. somebody to banter with and engage in repartee, someone fun. worf is plenty smart, but he's not clever, and he's weird and uptight and really bad in social situations. he's overly serious with very little sense of humor, and he's not a strong conversationalist. he definitely brings positive things to a relationship: earnestness, loyalty, devotion, care, as well as secret reserves of gentleness and love. but those aren't really things jadzia wants in a partner. they share an interest in klingon culture, but that's really it.
and it makes sense that they got together: we know for a fact that worf tries to marry everyone he fucks, even if he's only known them for like a week. that's canon he does that to k'ehleyr. and it also makes sense that their relationship fails in the ways it does: jadzia is rude and disrespectful because she has no reason to respect worf and little sympathy for his strangeness, and most importantly because she doesn't understand how seriously he takes what she means as lighthearted ribbing. worf is a controlling ass because he doesn't understand jadzia and can't bridge the gap without her help, and because it's a natural aspect of his personality that will come out in a relationship unless he has a partner who would effectively temper it by making him feel emotionally safe.
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hi hi! 💜 Anon, again! i was just laying on my bed and this concept appeared in my head:
bkg totally spoils you. He's always saying that "you like stupid stuff like this, so I brought this to you, idiot" or that he absolutely don't spoils you, but come on, he does, and does it a LOT.
Stuffed animals (if you like them), very expensive clothes and jewelry (he likes to see you feeling pretty), doesn't matter the price, and he always have some gifts for you, to compensate being a hero and saving the day too much and leaving for too long
He knows it's not going to erase it, however, when his gifts put a smile into your face, he just can't help but spoil you.
p.s: maybe I'm working on another concept that I'll like to give to you, dear Novah, as a gift S2 mwah!
Sorry this took too long to get to,, //also can’t wait to see what you have in store 🥺🥺❤️❤️//
note;; this came out of my ass ❤️ so this isn’t my best post..
warning;: not proof read , lowkey rambling, a little bit so smut at the end, 18+, Blogs w/ no age indicators and minors DO NOT INTERACT
I love bakugou who spoils his baby.. He’s just so.. sigh.. ❤️
Maybe it’s just me but I think Bakugou’s very honest with his feelings..Like he’s such an honest person— a little too honest sometimes, and it’s kind of hard to imagine him holding back his thoughts and emotions ..
Like, It’s so stupid hard for him to not hold back his feelings—even if they do come out a bit prickly and jagged to the point it’s unrecognizable. It doesn’t matter. As long as he knows that he’s telling the truth, and that’s he’s expressing his feelings honestly. He’s okay with it.
So when he gets with you, his heart (and brain) can’t fathom the bouquet of emotions blooming in him. He doesn’t know what to do with himself, so he kinda gets aggressive. The way people have to ease their muscles when they see a cute, helpless animal, not wanting to have it explode in their hands.
He just.. god, he likes you so fucking much it’s stupid. He’s aching to just squeeze you til you pop, give you kisses that bruise, shake you around because fuck, you’re so evil for making him feel like this…like he’s threatening to burst whenever you pop up in his head so innocently.
He’s a little horrified with himself, to be frank. Under his observations, he’s always noticed that Love is supposed to be delicate. The passing couples he’s seen on his patrols were always so close, so comfortable, so peaceful. It makes him feel like he’s utterly insane for feeling so passionately violent for you.
So he starts spoiling the shit out of you just so he can get the urge to smother you with his love out of his system. You had to make him stop buying you shit that you’ve mentioned once—and forgotten about—in a conversation, because they were items that you really didn’t need and, at times, wanted.
Once, you’ve, offhandedly, said that you like having him close to you because it feels like you have a body guard. You don’t notice it at first, but he takes your casual statement a little too seriously and starts hovering around you when the two of you hung out, growling and snarling at any potential threat— or anyone who stand three feet away from you. When you told him you weren’t serious, he would stop talking to you for the whole day because he was embarrassed.
The one thing you didn’t complain about was how generous he was in bed, giving into all of his violent emotions into fucking you. He’d make sure you were boneless and halfway to heaven before he was done with you. He’d devour your sweet and pretty cunt, fucking you with his thick fingers as he licked and sucked your clit, making youre all sloppy and wet for him. He’d make sure to give you all of his cock, never teasing to give you half of it. He wants to see you stuffed with him, with his cock, with his love. Whenever he has the chance to, he would give in and squeeze you tightly against his chest as he rammed his cock into you, splitting you in half.. He’d kiss and bites all over your body, making sure the bruises stain your skin. He’d literally give his all to you since it’s his only time to express how you make him feel.
He’ll make sure you know it.
#novah.writes#novah.thirsts#bakugou#bakugou x reader#bakugo x reader#bakugou x reader smut#bakugo x reader smut#anon.💜#we have a volunteer.💌#novah.shorts
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Hello! do you know gokushufudo(the way of the househusband)? For a request, it could be possible Dante and vergil and nero(platonic) with S/O who is like tatsu, the immortal dragon. Excelent and Cook extremely delicious, have scary smile 🤣 and really love and care his boyfriend/ son? Hahah it would funny see the reaction of vergil when nero introduces him to her as his mother, they shake hands and she warns him not to hurt her son(Nero) again. While squeezing him hand too hard (super strength) Thanks!
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Ahh hello again. Unfortunately I do not know much of what you’re talking about. I did some research while I wrote this but I would like to apologize for any inaccuracies written here, as my knowledge of this anime is severely lacking.
I would also like to inform you that this was kept gender-neutral, except for Nero’s part. I know you used feminine pronouns when you spoke of Nero, so I tried to respect that. I hope you have a lovely day/afternoon/night and enjoy reading.
Toxic
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Dante
Oh my god, finally, someone who can get Dante to eat something other than pizza and strawberry sundaes.
Devil May Cry has been the cleanest it's ever been since your arrival. Cleaning the shop provided stress relief, cooking, too. So, you have no problem with your job as a housespouse. Though, it can be annoying when the electric is shut off.
Lady and Trish definitely tease Dante about it. Saying that the shop wouldn’t look this good if you hadn’t come around. Though, they do wonder what screws you have loose to marry Dante of all men.
Dante’s not one for finer, expensive cuisine, but he does appreciate the effort you put in meals. Making him meals for when he’s out demon hunting, preparing a meal for when he returns home. It makes Dante feel special, and feeling this way has made him fight harder. It pushes his determination to return home quicker and see you.
He’ll convince you to make homemade pizza. You only learn a recipe because it makes him happy, but you refuse to make a habit out of it. You just want Dante to eat something other than pizza for once.
Sometimes, Dante will come home super late, and he’ll see you at the table, asleep. Gently, he’ll pick you up and put you to bed, only for you to grab him and grumble about food in the fridge. Dante just smiles and kisses your temple.
As nice as you are, you’re also scary. You definitely scare him at times, including those affiliated with Devil May Cry. You have this… expression that demands authority. You even get Vergil to listen to you, and that’s saying something.
“You’re seriously that intimidated by someone so smaller than you, Verge?”
“How laughable for you to assume such things, little brother, when you bat your eye at them and do whatever they wish.”
Dante and Vergil’s fights end quickly now that you’re in the picture. Both of them stop due to not wanting to feel your wrath.
In general, you’re a badass. Once, you caught wind of a demon hunting job gone wrong, and you showed up, guns blazing (literally), proclaiming to your adversaries that you’re a housespouse. Dante has never seen anything hotter.
You are a sweetheart to Dante, though. Very loving, caring deeply for your husband. You lovingly kiss and hold him, his inner demon purring in happiness. The relationship makes Dante feel content, and he knows this is what he’s always wanted.
Vergil
“Ah yes. Me. My spouse. And their ability to make demons cry.”
You’re kind, understanding, and strong, of course he fell for you. You are also unafraid of him. Having someone like that forced Vergil’s walls down.
Vergil built his walls up tall and strong, and you were so, so stubborn and knocked them all down. He’s never felt so safe, so understanding with anyone before. Falling in love with you seemed as natural as breathing.
As sweet and kind as you are to him, your wrath is not to be tested. Vergil is not a man who is intimidated easily, but seeing what you’ve done to him and Dante when they fight made him realize you’re a force to be reckoned with. And he admires that.
Vergil enjoys cooking discussions with you. He loves seeing you become enthused with your craft, seeing how you become when speaking about cooking. Sometimes he doesn’t understand what you’re talking about but he enjoys learning. And you enjoy teaching him.
He’ll sometimes watch you cook. It’s very relaxing.
Cooking for him makes Vergil feel emotions. It is an act that makes him fall deeper and deeper in love with you.
Vergil doesn’t become jealous in your relationship knowing you can put those who flirt with you in their place. Once, Dante flirted with you, unaware of your relationship with him. Dante earned the shock of his life when you announced that you “had a man one-hundred times finer than” him while showing off your ring, and then grabbing Vergil and showing his ring.
Knowing that you’re so loyal also provides comfort to Vergil. He doesn’t know what he’d do if you’re suddenly not in his life.
When he’s out demon hunting with his brother or son (or both), you’ll always make lunch for him. Vergil has taken it upon himself to eat on top of Nico’s van to avoid being teased. Not that it's embarrassing, he just sincerely hates it when his brother does that.
You’re always up waiting for him, even though he tells you not to. You await with dinner ready, and Vergil can faintly smell cleaning products. From earlier cleaning, he guessed. It's a natural, normal thing and Vergil cannot imagine himself coming home to anything other than that.
Nero (platonic) (fem!reader)
You first met Nero at the grocery store, and this sweetheart grabbed something for you on the very top shelf. You met him again out in public when some men were harassing you, which he unkindly told them to fuck off. That’s when you invited Nero for tea, and you’ve adopted him ever since.
You are absolutely kind to him, a total sweetheart. Nero came to your place multiple times for lunch, even invited you to meet Kyrie. You bonded with his girlfriend through cooking, even teaching her a thing or two.
Soon, Nero found himself attached to you. He looked up to you, an older, positive feminine figure in his life, one he thought he’d never have. He began to see you as a mother, and due to how nurturing you were, it seemed natural for those feelings to fall in place like pieces to a puzzle.
With that sweet, caring side was a fierce protective personality.
“Don’t talk to me or my son ever again,” You growl at some asshole. Nero has never felt so cherished before.
When you met Vergil, it was hilarious and scary. Nero already told you about the whole arm ripping off business, and it formed some bitterness within you. When you met, you put on a happy mask and introduced yourself to this stoic, unflinching man. You knew what you needed to do.
As you shook hands, Vergil made a face best described as surprise. Through your smile, an intimidating aura leaked off of you. You gripped his hand with such force it surprised him that you, a human woman, was capable of such strength. Strength that affected a full grown half-demon.
You suddenly grasped his collar and forced him down to your level, your lower eyelid twitching.
“Listen here, mister,” your voice oozed with venom and protectiveness over Nero. “If I ever hear that you’ve hurt my son again, I will make you rue your very birth. Do that shit again and you will regret it. Understand?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Nero and Dante have never laughed so hard.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Read it on AO3 | Rules | Buy this devil a coffee
#toxic-writes#devil may cry#devil may cry 5#devil may cry headcanons#devil may cry dante#dante#dante sparda#dante headcanons#dante x reader#devil may cry vergil#vergil#vergil sparda#vergil headcanons#vergil x reader#devil may cry nero#nero#nero sparda#nero headcanons#gender neutral reader#female reader#request
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Since When? -Matthew Tkachuk X Fem!Reader
This is approximately 11.2k words of a friends-to-lovers rollercoaster of emotions! I hope you all enjoy! I hope you all enjoy it! @anastasiyaigorevnadobrodevskaya @jonnytoews19 @puckbitchesgetmoney @glassdanse @suzukick
Warnings: Cursing, mentions of nudity, implied sexual acts, angst, negative self talk, “unrequited” love, drinking, also some fluff as well. Please let me know if I missed anything!
In case you don’t know: Y/n: your name, Y/l/n: your last name, and Y/n/n: your nickname (can be replaced with your name if you do not have a nickname of course)
flashbacks are in italics :)
———
“Y/n, this is Macy. Macy, this is Y/n.” Matthew introduces you to the blonde girl he’s been talking about for weeks. She is so much prettier than you could have ever imagined. Beautiful blonde hair, flawless tanned skin, and her legs went on for miles. You shake the thoughts from your head a large grin taking over your own face.
“Oh how formal of you Matthew,” you say mockingly. “Please call me Y/n/n, and despite how Matty here is acting you have no reasons to be nervous. He talks about you all the time, I like you already!” You beam with a wink. Matt’s ears and neck burn red in embarrassment, as you and Macy giggle.
“I could say the same about you y/n/n!” Your stomach twists a little at that, what could Matthew possibly have told her? You and him have been friends for years. Best friends. You live across the hall from him now. When you moved to Calgary he insisted you moved into his apartment, but you know he would never take a girl home with you around all the time. If you are being truly honest with yourself, it has more to do with the fact that you don’t want to think about Matthew with other girls.
Yet here you are, standing in front of his new girlfriend, who could be supermodel. “Would you like to get a drink Macy? Let Matthew go talk boring old sports stuff with his jock friends.” Macy giggles at your request, but agrees quickly placing a kiss on Matthew’s cheek.
————
“Thank you for this. Matt’s been really weird about me meeting you, and I was worried you were going to hate me.” Macy’s smile falters a little when she says this, causing you to choke a little on your drink.
“Wow! He must have made me seem like a total bitch! Sounds like him really. I guess he knows I want whoever he’s with to be perfect for him, but he doesn’t understand that as long as he’s happy and that girl isn’t just a gold digger than I’m happy too.” You knock her shoulder playfully with yours, “He seems very happy with you, and for the record I think you’re really cool.”
The two of you sit in silence for a moment, before Macy speaks again. “So how did you and Matt become friends?”
“It’s a long story, are you sure you want to hear it?” You chuckle, as she nods excitedly.
“Y/n l/n?” The teacher reads out your name.
“Present!” You beam from your spot at the front of the class hand in the air. You hear a few chuckles from behind you, and lower your hand slowly slumping into your chair.
“Matthew Tkachuk?” The teacher continues, after giving you a sympathetic smile.
“That would be me!” His voice causes your eyes to snap to the door. He’s beautiful and chaotic. Bright blue eyes, messy curls, a little smirk, and a cute little dimple to tie it all together.
“Mr. Tkachuk, being late on the first day isn’t the best first impression. Please don’t make a habit of it.” The teacher scolds lightly.
“Sorry, I won’t.” He smiles sheepishly, as he places his backpack on the chair beside yours. “Okay if I sit here?” He looks at you expectantly.
Unable to find your words you nod. He sits down, and smiles at you. “I’m Matthew.” He adds sticking his hand out for you. You take it, face burning red.
“Uh- I’m y/n.” You stutter out. More snickers coming from the seats behind you. Immediately you pull your hand away and stare down at your lap, tears burning your eyes. It was your first day of highschool, and already you weren’t fitting in.
“Well y/n, can I call you y/n/n?” He asks quickly, but doesn’t bother to wait for a response, “Want to eat lunch with me? It being the first day and all I’m trying to make friends. What do you say?”
“Okay.” You reply, and smile up at him. No longer feeling as shy.
So you did eat lunch together that day. And every day after that. You became best friends almost immediately. After a couple weeks, you met his family and fit in well with all of them. Matthew fit just as perfectly in your life. You studied together, you went and watched his games, you did everything together.
It was so easy to be with Matthew, so when he got drafted to the Flames your decision was easy. You immediately applied to the University of Calgary.
“And we’ve been friends forever it feels like.” You smile at her.
“So you guys dated in highschool?” She asks, but it sounds more like a statement than a question. Your eyes nearly popped out of your skull at that.
“No way! Matt and I are only friends, that’s all we’ve ever been, and we are both VERY okay with that.” You cringe to yourself at how awkward you sound, trying to convince her what you were saying was true. And it mostly was, aside from the fact that part of you wanted more, and still do.
“Seriously? Not even like one date?” You shake your head, “not one awkward game of spin the bottle?” Again you shake your head, “not even a drunk hookup?” At that you laugh, and take another swig of your drink.
“I’m being honest Macy. The closest to any of that Matt and I ever had was my seventeenth birthday.” You shudder at the memory, “Neither of us enjoyed that.”
Macy’s face lit up at that. “Well now you have to tell me!”
You are standing in front of your bedroom mirror getting ready for your birthday party. People would be showing up in about an hour, your mom is in the kitchen finishing the cake, your dad cleaning the barbecue, your siblings at friends houses, and here you are standing mostly naked in front of the mirror. Admiring the brand new navy blue lingerie set you just bought, your very first set. You feel really sexy, for the first time ever, which at seventeen is a big deal.
You aren’t sure how long you’ve been standing there, when the door opens, but you are too zoned out to even notice as you run your fingers along the lace resting on your hips. “Oh fuck!”
As soon as you hear his voice you turn towards the door and do your best to cover your exposed body.
“MATTHEW JESUS CHRIST GET OUT!” You scream at him, tears blurring your vision. He mutters an apology as he quickly exits your room.
You cry for awhile, the embarrassment making you not want to get off your floor. However, you do eventually, and change into the dress your mother bought specifically for your party. It was black, and much more mature than your mother would have ever let you wear before, or maybe it’s because you yourself look more mature. Who knows? All you know is that you don’t want to face Matthew.
It turns out that you don’t have to. Matthew doesn’t show up for the party. Brady does though, telling you he isn’t sure what happened, but Matthew isn’t feeling well. You know why though. He was repulsed.
You cry yourself to sleep after everyone leaves. Even going as far as throwing out the set of lingerie, unable to look at it anymore.
You thought you lost him that day. Thankfully though, the following Monday it was like nothing happened. Neither of you bring it up again.
“Wow! He never mentioned it?” She laughs in astonishment.
“Not once! I think he’s forgotten really. It’s not like there was really much to see anyway.” You go back and forth like that all night, sharing stories, buying each other drinks, dancing together. It is perfect.
Across the bar Matthew smiles to himself, watching the two of you getting along so well.
“Dude I told you they’d get along!” Noah Hanifin says slapping a hand over Matthew’s shoulder. He doesn’t hear him come over to where he stood leaning against the bar watching you and Macy dancing together, so it startled him at first.
“I knew they probably would, it’s just if they didn’t,” Matthew stops for a moment staring down at his drink. “I wouldn’t be able to choose.”
“Why would you have to choose?” Noah doesn’t get it, and Matthew isn’t sure the answer really.
“Every time I’ve been seeing a girl they always get weird once they finally meet y/n. Most of them just can’t handle the fact I’m so close to a girl.” He shrugs, and Noah sends him a knowing smile.
“So you’ve never told me, were the two of you ever a thing?” Noah asks, taking a drink of the beer in his hand.
Matthew throws his head back laughing loudly. “Seriously Hanifin? You’ve met the two of us right? We have been friends forever. Nothing else.”
“You’ve never even just hooked up? I don’t know, you two just fit so well together I assumed you would have tried it out at least once.” Noah shrugs.
“No way!” Matthew chuckles awkwardly, wanting the conversation to end.
As the two friends lean against the bar in silence, his eyes fall on you. You’re wearing a cute little black dress similar to the one you’d worn the day he thought he’d lost you.
It is your birthday, and Matthew can’t wait to give you the present he bought you weeks ago. It is a miracle he kept it a secret this long. Sure your party isn’t for another hour or so, but he can at least help everyone get ready. That way he can give you your present sooner, and without the prying eyes of your mutual friends.
So here he was walking up to your front door, the little velvet box tucked inside his backpack. Inside it a beautiful gold necklace, the pendant a simple letter ‘M’. Sure, maybe it was cheesy, but you love cheesy. As for Matthew he loves seeing you happy, and he loves you.
“Hey Matthew honey! Y/n is in her room.” Your mother greets him as he comes through the front door. He exchanges a quick hello and starts up the stairs to your room.
Matthew takes a shaky breath, trying to steady his breathing. His heart is racing, why is he so nervous? He tries to convince himself it is just because he wants you to like the gift and not because he has feelings for you. When he finally pushes open your door though, all of the air he had just tried to hold onto, leaves his body immediately. There you are. Standing in front of your mirror, back to him. Your hair curled loosely, and wearing nothing but a set of navy blue lingerie. Matthew is frozen, unable to speak. His eyes rake over your body, even though he knows it is wrong. You look good. So good in fact, Matthew’s pants have tightened considerably since he stepped through your door.
“Oh fuck!” He groans, eyes widening as he finally realizes the gravity of the situation. He watches you spin around, horror and embarrassment clear on your face.
“MATTHEW JESUS CHRIST GET OUT!” You yell, you sound so angry to Matthew. He is immediately embarrassed. Embarrassed to be caught, but mostly embarrassed by the affect you have on him.
Matthew runs home. He pleads with Brady to just put his name on the gift he is bringing, and to let you know he isn’t feeling well. The truth is, he doesn’t feel well. He is scared. Scared everything has to change. The two of you don’t talk all weekend, but maybe Matthew stalks your Instagram to make sure you have a good birthday.
However, the following Monday the two of you fall back into your normal routine. The incident is never brought up again, aside from in Matthew’s dreams that is.
Matthew shakes his head, trying to physically rid it of the memory. He smiles sadly down at his drink knowing that the necklace he bought you that year now sits safely in a box on the top shelf of his closet. He never got to give it to you.
“What ‘cha thinkin’ ‘bout space cadet?” You grin up at him. He smiles back at you, and throws his arm around your shoulder. Subconsciously he scans the room for Macy. “Chill out Matty she’s in the bathroom. You looking to dip on me already? I mean how can I blame you? If I got to go home with someone THAT hot I’d be leaving as soon as I could.”
“I’m not trying to dip!” He shoots back in defence.
“Okay! Okay! Cool it Chucky! I’m just teasing. I like her a lot! Why were you so worried?” You wrap an arm around his waist as he pulls you tighter into his side.
“Dunno. I guess your opinion is kind of important to me. Wouldn’t wanna displease my sidekick.” He smirks down at you.
“Oh please! If anyone is the sidekick here it’s you Tkachuk! Know your place.” You tease, as Macy finds her way over to the two of you. “He’s getting on my nerves! He’s your problem now. Have fun lovebirds!” You wink at them as you slip away. You need another drink, something hard. You also need someone to take home tonight. So you wouldn’t have to think about Matthew and Macy.
You like her. She is perfect for him, and she makes him happy. That’s what you want. It doesn’t mean you don’t wish it was you.
————
The next morning Matthew makes his way back to his own apartment. He had spent the night at Macy’s, but decides to get home early as his parents and siblings are going to be in town later in the day. When he turns down the hall, he notices the guy leaning against your doorframe. He can’t see you, but he can hear your laugh. “I’ll see you later yeah?” Nathan says leaning in to press a kiss to your lips.
“Um sure. Yeah.” You immediately start beating yourself up internally for how awkward that sounded. Sure Nathan is sweet, and last night was great! He just doesn’t feel right.
You say your final goodbyes, and promise to text him later before you close your door. Little do you know, your best friend is waiting in the hallway to greet your new friend. “Fun night fella?” Matthew smirks at him.
His eyes go wide as he realized who exactly it is standing in front of him. Matthew’s ego inflates significantly at how terrified this guy seems. “Uh yeah it was alright.” Nathan manages to stammer out.
“She’s something isn’t she? I’m Matthew.” Matt sticks his hand out for the stranger.
“Nathan, and uh yeah she’s great.” The two continue awkward small talk for a couple seconds longer before Matthew lets himself into your apartment.
“So Michael huh?” Matthew grins over at you. You roll your eyes, taking a long drink of your coffee from where you stand leaning against the counter.
“It’s Nathan, but you knew that smart ass. What about him?” You challenge, slightly annoyed that he had to show up and give you a hard time. Matthew just shrugs walking over to you, pushing himself up onto the counter beside you.
“He just doesn’t seem like your type.”
“Matty, how the hell would you even know what my type is?” You cross your arms glaring at him.
“He’s skinny, and he is definitely vanilla as all hell. Sure those aren’t bad things, but you and I both know you want a strong man to be in control. Only in the bedroom of course.” He adds with a wink. Your cheeks flame in response, shoving him. He’s exactly right. Nathan was a little scrawny, and not overly confident in the bedroom. Sure he was great, but he wasn’t Matthew. You curse yourself for even thinking about your friend that way. Your best friend that’s all he is.
“Matthew, get out of my apartment. Your family will be here soon, and I need to get ready to see my favourite Tkachuk.” You tease back. He rolls his eyes, but says nothing as he slips from the counter making his way out of your apartment.
You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as the door shuts behind him. You need to start distancing yourself from him before things get out of hand.
————
“Y/N!!!” Brady gathers you up in a hug before you even have the chance to close Matthew’s door.
“Hey Brady” you giggle into his hair. He sets you down after giving you a quick spin, pressing a soft kiss to your hairline.
“How’ve you been bug?” He asks, throwing an arm over your shoulder after you finally shut the door. Him and Matthew have called you the dumb nickname for a long time, and at this point it hardly bothers you. You and Brady were always really close, but it was never the same as you and Matthew. He was more like a brother for you, one you annoy, share all your secrets with (especially if they involved boys), and also gave him a hard time. With Matthew, sure you annoy each other, and share secrets, but you and Matthew were a team. Inseparable. It doesn’t make sense, even to you, but you did love them both.
“Not too bad, trying to keep Mr. Hotshot in check. The usual. Though I’ve had some help recently, so honestly I’ve been a little bored.” You quip loud enough for Matthew to hear. Judging by the look on Matthews face though, he hadn’t missed any of the interaction.
“Oh get a room already would you!” He grumbles rolling his eyes and walking away. You and Brady share a look, and he shrugs to signal he’s just as confused as you.
Brady leads you to the couch, and you sit down. The two of you already deep in conversation, catching up on your lives. Taryn finds her way to the couch soon after joining in on your conversation. “So what’s she like?” Taryn asks after awhile.
“Macy?” You ask, and the two siblings nod at you expectantly. “She’s really great! She’s kind, smart, and not to mention a total bombshell! She is perfect for Matthew, I’m happy for them.” Brady just looks at you with a sad smile.
You want to tell him that it’s the truth, that you actually love her to death. Something stops you though, you’re not sure why, but you stay quiet.
Soon after Macy knocks on the door. Matthew runs to answer it before either of his siblings can even react. When you see her, your heart nearly stops. Once again you are in awe of just how beautiful she is. You stay rooted in your spot on the couch as the Tkachuk family takes turns fawning over her. For the first time ever, you felt out of place. You’ve spent the better part of a decade being that girl, the one the whole family raves about. The family chirping Matthew about what a miracle it was you stuck around. Sure it got old fast, but you loved it. Now you can’t help the jealousy that spreads it’s roots through your heart.
After the dinner, if you could even call delivered Chinese food that, you pull Matthew aside after the others make their way to the living room. “Hey Matt, I’m gonna head home I’m kinda tired.”
“String bean do that much damage Y/n/n?” He smirks down at you, and your face twists a little unable to find the humour in his friendly chirp. Matthew’s smirk quickly falls from his face. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah ‘m fine Matty. I’m just gonna go okay? I’ll talk to you tomorrow yeah? Tell everyone I’m glad I got to see them.” You muster a small smile as you turn towards the door. “You’re not gonna say bye yourself?”
“They’re having fun Matt.” You send him a better smile at that, trying to let him know everything is okay. You feel far from okay though, and you can’t even explain why. “And you should be too! Now get in there before Brady talks Macy into finding someone better!” You give him a playful shove towards the chatter in the living room. Thankfully Matthew chuckles at that, and let’s you go.
He watches you closely as you leave, and he feels guilty. Running through his mind everything that might have made you want to leave. Was it Brady? Was it him?
God it was killing him, and that was evident on his face as he walks into the living room. Brady catching his eye as soon as he did, noticing the frown that Matthew quickly covers with a smile. “Y/n told me to let you know she was heading home for the night, and she was so happy to see you all. Except Brady of course.”
“Awe well I wish you let us know before she left Matt, we hardly see that girl anymore.” Chantal spoke, but Matthew barely heard her. All he could focus on was the glare Brady was sending him. Matthew just shrugs at his brother, his form of silent communication to let Brady know he doesn’t know what he was upset about. Brady responded with his own silent gesture, a head nod in the direction of the kitchen.
As he peels himself from the chair he was seated in, Brady makes his way silently to the kitchen. Matthew follows, hand rubbing at the back of his neck awkwardly once the two brothers are finally alone. “Why did she really leave? What did you say to her?” Brady was quick to jump on Matthew with questions, that if he were honest, Matthew was not expecting.
“What the fuck are you talking about? She was tired so she went home.” Matthew throws back, already angry his brother assumes it was his fault.
“It’s Y/n we are talking about! That girl has been around for years, I’ve seen her pass out at our kitchen table on family game night. She’d sooner fall asleep on the couch and spend as much time with us as she could than to just leave. And without saying good bye? Seriously dude what the hell did you say?” Brady was trying to keep his voice down, but he was upset. You were his friend too.
“Nothing! And how could I? She spent all night talking to you! She’s probably just going home to sleep with that idiot Nathan anyway.” Matthew grumbles. Brady freezes at his brothers statement. “Nathan?”
“Yeah some guy she took home from the bar last night.” Matthew explains like it was common knowledge, “he seems like an idiot.”
“Matt are you jealous?” Brady asks, a shit eating grin plastered on his face. Matthew rolls his eyes and groans out loud. “Brady are you stupid? No wait don’t answer that, you are. Y/n is my best friend. She can sleep with whoever she wants whenever she wants. I have a girlfriend.” Matthew’s fists clench at his sides, and Brady’s eyes flicker down to them briefly.
“Well the two of you need to figure your shit out.” Brady adds, turning on his heels and heading back to his spot in the living room. Matthew unclenches his fists, and takes a deep breath before joining the rest of his family again.
———
You sit on your bed, legs tucked under you, leaning back against the headboard. You press Brady’s contact, and watch as the phone rings. You didn’t FaceTime Brady often, but this was necessary. “What’s up bug?” Brady’s smile immediately makes you feel less anxious.
“Well it’s kind of a long story, I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple months now. He’s great, but I don’t really know how to introduce him to Matt without him being weird about it.” You chew your bottom lip anxiously, cheeks warm with embarrassment. It sounds so stupid to say it out loud. Brady’s laughing pulls you out of your spiral. “What’s so funny? Brady I’m serious Matthew makes everything so awkward!”
Finally Brady manages to catch his breath. “Y/n I had basically this exact same conversation about four months ago with Matt. You two are literally impossible! You’re best friends, you just want each other to be happy. As for Nathan-“
“How do you know his name? I never told you that?” Your dumbfounded expression has Brady in hysterics once again. “Matthew.” You groan, finally having pieced it all together. You mumble something about having to go before you end the conversation with Brady. You pull on an old hoodie of Matthew’s that’s slightly too big for you, and quickly make your way to Matthew’s apartment.
You let yourself in, like you always have. Instead of being met by Matt playing video games like you expected, you’re met with a much more horrifying image. Matt has Macy pinned to the couch, and let’s just say they aren’t having a wrestling match. The noise of shock that escapes you alerts the couple of your presence. “Y/n!” Matthew exclaimes quickly crawling off of Macy. He grabs the nearest throw pillow covering his junk with it awkwardly.
After far too long of gaping at the couple you manage to snap out of it, turning back to head for the door again. “Oh my god! I’m so sorry! I didn’t- oh Jesus! Pretend I was never here I’m sorry!” You’re out of his apartment in record time. Collapsing just inside your apartment door, tears stinging your eyes. The embarrassment was overwhelming, how were you supposed to face either of them ever again?
———
“Well fuck!” Matthew groans after the door slams shut behind you. Macy starts giggling from her place on the couch, and Matthew sends her a glare.
“Oh loosen up tough guy! At least you’re even now!” She shoots back wiggling her eyebrows at him. Matthew stands frozen in his place. “What are you talking about?”
“Her 17th birthday Matthew, do you actually not remember that?” Macy let’s out an awkward laugh, as she watches the pain on Matt’s face. “She told you that?” Matthew is angry, and he knows he shouldn’t be. Why would you tell his girlfriend about that when you have never even talked to him about it? He’s your best friend.
Macy just nods, slightly scared to actually admit it out loud. Matthew lets out a small ‘oh.’ before leaving the room. He emerges a few minutes later fully clothed to find Macy gathering her things to leave.
“I’m sorry you don’t have to leave.” Matthew mumbles, but he only half means it. Sure he doesn’t want her to leave, but he needs to talk to you. Needs to make this right.
“Go talk to her Matty, seriously. Figure it out, I’m not sure why it made you so upset that she just walked in here. What did you expect? She always does. Set some boundaries maybe? You’re a grown man Matthew, it’s not my job to play the parent and fix whatever is happening here.” Macy huffs, slamming the door just as hard as you had not long before. Why was everyone so upset with him? First Brady, then you, now Macy too? What was he doing wrong? And why did the get so upset about Macy bringing up your 17th birthday?
Matthew tries not to get caught up in his mind too long. Instead he roots through his closet shelves looking for your birthday present. Sure maybe it was 6 years late, but how else could he make up for the awkward night?
———
You are laying on your living room floor when Matthew lets himself into your apartment. “What are you doing on the floor?” Matthew chuckles, leaning against the wall closest to you.
“‘M not sure.” You mumble, unable to look at him. Instead you study a paint chip directly above you. You hear Matthew set something down before he pushes your coffee table a few feet away. He then drops himself next to you rather ungracefully, tucking an arm behind his head. “I’m sorry I didn’t knock.” You say quietly, so quietly in fact Matthew almost doesn’t hear it. He does though and he turns his head to face you.
You turn towards him, taking in his features for the first time since he entered your apartment. The sad smile on his face knocks the wind out of you for a moment, as you get lost in his blue eyes. “When have you and I ever knocked? I should’ve put a sock on the door handle.” He chirps back, sealing it with a wink. You laugh lightly at his comment, and turn your gaze back to the paint chip.
The two of you stay like that for awhile. Staring at a paint chip, in total silence. Your thoughts consuming you, as the tension seems to grow thicker by the second. You’re not sure how long passed before Matthew breaks the silence, but it was long enough that it startled you when he does. “At least we are even now. Though I’m pretty sure you got to see a lot more than I did.”
Lifting yourself up onto your forearms you turn to him again, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Well, I thought you’d forgotten. Or maybe you just didn’t want to talk about it with me because you were so angry. I just can’t believe you talked about it with Macy and not me.” He rambles on, but now it was him refusing to look at you. He looks hurt, and your mind races trying to put the pieces together. Then it hits you.
“My birthday.” You say, more to yourself than Matthew, but he nods finally meeting your gaze. “I’m sorry Matt, I just thought if I told her that story it would ease her mind about us. I was too scared to bring it up to you, and then so much time had passed it felt wrong to even talk about it.” Your confession causes Matthew to look even more confused. “Ease her mind? How would that story ease her mind?”
So you tell him. You tell him about how, like everyone else who has met the two of you, Macy assumed something had happened between you. A kiss. A relationship. A hookup. Something. “So I told her the story so she’d understand that even at 17 you were appalled by the sight of me, and how embarrassed I had been. And I told her that was our one and only ‘intimate’ experience.” You make sure to throw air quotes around the term intimate. Your explanation however, did not seem to make Matthew feel better.
“Are you serious? Not once in my life have I ever been ‘appalled’ by your appearance.” He looks extremely offended as he uses air quotes in the most mocking way possible. “Why would you even think that?” You laugh at that, though there is very little humour behind it.
“Matthew, we were 17. I’m not much to look at now, and back then?” You wince at the mere thought of your 17 year old body. “I certainly never had anything like the girls you were into Matty. I’m not stupid it’s okay.” He stares at you now. Mouth open slightly, eyes scanning your face. Waiting, hoping you’d say you were joking. Admit you didn’t see yourself as less than any girl Matthew had ever been with, but you don’t. Instead you stare right back at him, an emotion swimming in your eyes Matthew can’t quite place.
“You really think I ran away because I was grossed out by that whole encounter?” He askes, and you nod. Your eyes dropping to the floor. Matthew lets out a deep laugh, and falls back against the floor again. “Y/n. That is so incredibly far from the truth! I was embarrassed, so embarrassed that I ran the whole way home and locked myself in my room. I then pleaded with Brady to just go without me, and put my name on his gift because I thought you were mad at me. I thought you looked incredible, in fact I don’t think I’ve ever sprung a boner so fast in my life.” Your stomach flutters at his confession. The thought of Matthew thinking about you like that made the want you’d been pushing down for years start to bubble up again. You can’t bring yourself to respond, instead you pick absentmindedly at a loose thread on your shorts. Matthew lets out a loud groan, pulling himself up off the floor entirely.
“Sorry if that made this weird. I hope you understand that you shouldn’t ever compare yourself to any girl. You’re amazing y/n.” You smile up at him and mumble a thank you. It takes everything in you to will away the tears that begin to form in your eyes. “If you don’t believe my story,” Matthew nods to a small box sitting on the coffee table he’d moved earlier. “that is the birthday present I planned to give you that day. It’s the whole reason I walked into your room that day, I wanted you to have it before everyone else showed up.”
With that, Matthew is gone again. A single tear rolls down your cheek as you take in the small box, wrapped in pink wrapping paper. Poorly wrapped you might add. You stand up grabbing the box and a blanket. Wrapping yourself tightly in the blanket, you fall back against the couch examining the package closely.
After twenty minutes of staring at it, you peel away the pink paper with trembling fingers. The dark velvet box, has a sticky note stuck to the top. As you read it, the tears start to fall steadily.
Happy Birthday! I hope you know just how much you mean to me. Hopefully this gift will mean that you never forget me. Love you bug xx-Matty
The little heart he drew at the end pulls a sob out of you. Contrary to the sobs now wracking your body, a smile forms on your face. Slowly, you flip open the small box. Gasping loudly, the box slips from your grasp as both hands come to your face. Although moments ago you wouldn’t have thought it possible, you cry harder now. The necklace is simply beautiful. The small golden ‘M’ makes your heart soar, and break simultaneously.
Your mind runs in circles now. Had you received the gift on the day you were intended to, would things be different? The gift seems more than platonic. You need to confide in someone. You had no idea who to call. You can’t call Brady, he wouldn’t understand. You most definitely can’t call Macy.
Without even thinking you pick up your phone and press on one contact. The phone rings as you press it to your ear. “Hello?”
“It’s beautiful Matt, but it’s too much I can’t take this.” Your voice is shaking and you hope he can’t hear it. Your heart is racing, mind spinning, and nausea swirls through you.
“Y/n/n, keep it please. I bought it years ago, I can’t return it. You’re still my best friend and I want you to have it. We are still friends...” Matthew pauses for a moment, “right?”
“Of course!” You say trying to fight off the urge to tell him you aren’t. You of course would always be friends, but you don’t want that anymore. You can’t continue being a third wheel. “Actually that’s why I went over earlier. I wanted to invite you and Macy out to dinner. Tomorrow night. With me and my boyfriend. If you’re free of course!”
You couldn’t sound more awkward if you tried, but Matthew agrees. You make plans to meet at your favourite diner the following evening, and then say goodnight.
Matthew doesn’t need to know that you slipped the gold chain on after hanging up. Just like you don’t need to know Matthew was currently canceling plans he had previously made with Macy.
———
“Matthew this is-“ You start to introduce the two men standing in front of you, but Matthew quickly interrupts.
“Nathan I know. Nice to uh- see you again I guess?” Nathan let’s out an awkward chuckle as he shakes Matthews hand. “Anyways!” You say breaking the awkward silence that fills the space around you. “Where is Macy anyway?” You ask, taking your seat at the table. Both guys follow suit, and Matthews gaze finally falls to you.
“She sends her apologies, something came up with work. You’re stuck with just me tonight.” He says, sending a wink in Nathan’s direction.
“Tkachuk I swear to god. Be a pest on the ice all you want, but can we for once have a civil meal?” You glare at him across the table, and Nathan sets a hand gently on your shoulder.
“Don’t worry babe, he’s just having some fun.” Nathan says reassuringly. You smile at him, but the smile quickly fades when Matthew speaks up again. “Yeah babe, we’re just having fun.” He laughs mockingly.
Dinner continues a lot like that. Back and forth, both men trying to prove something. Nathan trying to prove to Matthew that he isn’t temporary. Matthew trying to prove to Nathan, that Matthew is a constant in your life and can end this in a second if he wanted. Whatever this was. The pair even argue over who would pay the bill. You end up paying it yourself, as you leave the testosterone at the table to battle it out.
Nathan has to get home, as he has work early tomorrow. So of course Matthew takes it upon himself the drive you back home. The ride is silent, and you fiddle with the chain around your neck the whole way. No words are spoken until Matthew puts the car in park. “String bean know you’re wearing my initial?” He smirks, eyes falling to where your hands still tug at the chain.
“What’s your issue with him?” You spit, anger getting the better of you. “I was nothing but accepting of Macy. I befriended her for you Matthew! Why can you not for once just be nice and do this one thing for me?” You don’t wait for his response, instead you throw yourself out of the vehicle. You forego the elevator, choosing instead to take the stairs to get to your apartment as fast as you can. Once there you slam your door, and bang your forehead against the back of the door.
After a moment of just leaning against the inside of the door a small knock sounds from the other side. “Go away.” You grumble, knowing exactly who is on the other side.
“Bug. Please just listen.” He pauses for a moment and you just let out a shaky breath. “I’m scared you’re settling. I want you to be happy, but I get the feeling he’s not it. I’m sorry I was rude, that was a dick move. I just really care about you, and just because I know I could totally take string bean in a fight, doesn’t mean I want to. I know you’re lonely, and you’re feeling like a third wheel. You’re allowed to date Bug, but I want you to be happy and loved. If it’s really string be- Nathan.” He corrects himself, “If it’s really Nathan you want, then great! I’ll apologize to him, and we can move on. But Y/n, I think you and I both know he’s not. Find what you want and go get it. You deserve it.” Tears are flowing silently down your cheeks. Matt is right. Nathan is not what you want, he never will be. It’s Matt, it’s always been Matt.
After a minute or two of trying to compose yourself, you really think about Matthew’s words. Find what you want and go get it. He’s right, how can you ever be happy if you don’t at least try to chase what you want? So with that you fling open your door, ready to run into Matthew’s arms. To tell him how you feel, to tell him that it’s him you want.
As if the world was trying to play a cruel trick on you, it’s not Matt’s arms you’re greeted with. Instead of being held tightly in his warm embrace, you find yourself surrounded by a cold and empty hallway. It’s so quiet, you can practically hear the sound of your heart breaking all over again. You laugh humourlessly at how stupid you feel. You had hoped Matt’s words of encouragement were a sign. A sign that he could see your harboured feelings, and wanted nothing more than for you to act on them.
Matt watches you through the peephole in his apartment door, heart shattering as you shrink back into your apartment. Nothing was fixed. Macy had told him to fix this, but he’d only manage to make it worse.
———
“Why’d you call her that?” Macy presses, moments after her and Matt walk into his apartment. Matthew shrugs, which is not helping the situation. He could just be honest, and tell Macy that he and Brady had always called you bug.
It all started one summer afternoon when you had thrown a total fit after Brady had pointed out a bug had landed in your hair. For months Brady and Matthew would randomly yell ‘BUG!’ while pointing at you to get a reaction. At some point they just started calling you bug. It was stupid and platonic. At least it was for Brady. The way Matthew said it was always different. It gave you butterflies, and Matthew would be lying if he said he didn’t love the pet name.
“It’s just a nickname.” He defends, walking to the kitchen. She follows closely behind him, watching closely as he grabs a bottle of water from the fridge. He leans against the counter taking a long drink, as Macy stands with her arms crossed waiting for more. Matthew was getting frustrated with the whole situation. “Are you seriously upset about me calling her bug?” He asks in disbelief.
Macy shakes her head, laughing humourlessly with a roll of her eyes. “No Matthew. I’m not. It’s a cute little nickname and that’s absolutely fine. It’s the fact that when she’s around you’re different. It’s like you’re scared to stand too close to me, like she might be upset about it. You tiptoe around her, you didn’t even want to tell her about me Matt. Are you ashamed of me?” The emotion evident in Macy’s eyes, is something Matt hasn’t seen from her before. Something he wasn’t expecting.
“Macy, I am not ashamed of you at all. I-it’s just that Y/n has no one in Calgary, and I’ve always been her bestfriend. When I started seeing you I was scared she’d cling to whoever she felt could fill the spot I had to step back from. And she did, and she isn’t happy with him. I’m sorry that you suffered because of it.” He tries to explain, walking to the girl standing in front of him. He grabs her hips and places a kiss to her temple as tears threate to slip down her cheeks.
“I’m your girlfriend Matt. Start acting like it.”
———
“How did it go?” Brady asks, his goofy smile way too close to the screen. He FaceTimed you a few times a month usually. Checking in, on you and Matt both. He knows you had gone to dinner with Matt and Nathan two nights ago now. You know he called looking to say ‘I told you so’, but you know he won’t be able to. This was one time you truly wish he could.
“Uh it. Well, it wasn’t great.” You frown, and Brady’s smile quickly falls as well. “Nathan and I broke up.”
“WHAT!? Do I have to fight a man, because I have done it before and I’ll do it again?” He jokes to lighten the mood that quickly shifted.
“I actually broke up with him...” Brady’s face twists in confusion. Trying to piece together what he’s missing. A week ago you were so stressed out about Matthew not liking this guy, that you didn’t even want them to meet. Now you had broken up with him? Needless to say Brady was baffled. “He wasn’t what I wanted, I was settling.” You mumble a little embarrassed, as you fiddle with the chain that hasn’t left your neck.
“Y/n... you have to move on.” Brady says gently. Certainly not the reaction you were expecting.
“Brady, I’m fine. I broke up with him. I’m over Nathan, honestly there was nothing to get over.” You shake your head, bringing a smile to your face to emphasize the fact you are okay.
“Not Nathan.” Brady sighs shaking his head. It doesn’t make sense, but judging by the serious tone of his voice and the gentle smile. You aren’t going to like where this was going. “You need to get over Matthew.”
The minute the words leave his mouth you want to scream and cry. Tell him he’s wrong, and an asshole for even assuming that. You want to tell him he’s right. To ask him for help. You want to ask him why you have to get over him, and explain that you can’t. You want to ask him so many questions, but only one comes out; “Why have I never been good enough for him Brady?” You’re crying now. No actually, you’re sobbing. You’re inconsolable, and Brady is in Ottawa.
“Y/n it’s not like that.” He doesn’t know how to let you down easy. How can he explain that Matthew loves everything about you, but would never love you the way you love him? How can someone explain that you were exactly what Matthew wants, and that’s why you’ll never be his. Matthew can’t lose you. He can’t wreck what you have. Brady doesn’t know that Matthew used to want you that way. All he knows is that anytime he, Chantal, Taryn, or Keith brought it up Matthew would laugh and say he could never date you. You are his bestfriend. The truth is, Matthew knows he isn’t good enough. Not for you. No one ever will be. You are perfect to him.
“Forget it.” You bark, more aggressively than Brady deserves, but you are hurt. You have never talked to anyone about how you feel about Matthew. Having Brady call you out like that terrifies you. Who else knows? Taryn? Chantal? Does Matthew know? Just the thought of it makes your stomach churn. You immediately end the FaceTime call, not allowing Brady to say anything else.
He tries calling back. You ignore him, just like you ignore the constant stream of texts. He even has Taryn trying to get ahold of you. Of course he does. You shut off your phone, and curl up on your couch. The bad reality tv show playing softly in the background can’t even keep your attention. You instead, stare at the coffee table. It’s still pushed farther to one side of your living room, right where Matt left it. You continue to stare at it, your whole body feeling numb, until finally sleep takes over.
———
Matthew knows something is up as soon as Brady calls him. “What happened Brady?” Matthew asks, concern for you beating out any rational thoughts. He knows how pathetic he sounds, and prays his brother doesn’t pick up on it. As soon as Brady mentions your name, Matthew demands more information, but Brady won’t tell him what happened.
“I’m sure she’s fine Matt, I just upset her and now she won’t answer my calls. Please just check on her and tell her I’m sorry.” Brady says, before abruptly being hung up on. Again.
Matthew quickly makes his way to your door, and lets himself in. Sure he should knock, but he knows if you are upset you likely won’t answer anyway. The sight that meets Matthew when he enters your apartment makes his heart burst. There you are, curled up in a blanket fast asleep, hand clutching the pendant around your neck. He tries his best to stop the feeling in his gut as he realizes how domestic this moment feels.
Matthew gathers you in his arms as gently as he can, and carries you to your bedroom. As he lays you down, you adjust yourself slightly, but it is clear you are out like a light. “You’ll find him bug.” Matt whispers as he places a gentle kiss to your hairline. “The perfect guy is going to come along and sweep you off your feet. You’ll have that big wedding you’ve always wanted, a couple beautiful little babies, and I’ll be there cheering you on. You’re perfect bug, never settle.” Matthew fights back the lump that forms in his throat, as he pushes the hair gently from your face. “I wish it could’ve been me.” He says it so quietly that if you had been awake you still may not have heard him. So he leaves, pushing all those thoughts away and trying to remember that you’ll always be his best friend. Just his best friend.
———
“Well if it isn’t Matthew’s better half!” Mark greets you as you find your way into the backyard. You somehow got an invite to the teams’ end of the season BBQ, and now here you are already getting chirped by the captain.
“Easy there Gio, Matt has a girlfriend now remember?” You joke back with a wink, but you feel a twinge of sadness. You don’t have much time to think about it though, as the captain throws his arm over your shoulder and leans down to whisper in your ear. “I’ve always liked you better though, not sure why he’d pass up on you.” The blush that floods your cheeks makes your whole body feel hot with embarrassment. You know he’s joking, but it does feel good to hear it.
Mark leads you deeper into the yard, as you say hi to everyone. “There she is!” Your head snaps around quickly as you hear Matt’s voice. As soon as your eyes land on him, you notice his are already on you. “Hey Matty!” You greet with a smile as he wraps you in his arms. He smells like sweat and beer, and he refuses to let you out of his grasp. That is until you hear someone clear their throat, and he pulls away awkwardly.
“Macy! How’ve you been?” You greet her with a big smile and pull her into a hug. She responds quietly, and soon after excuses herself to get a drink. You send Matt a questioning look, but he only shrugs and drags you to the beer pong table announcing you are his partner.
That’s how your afternoon goes, beating everyone in beer pong with Matt as your partner. You’re slowly getting tipsy, and subsequently warmer. Peeling your top off, Johnny Gaudreau whistles loudly from across the table. You are wearing a pretty revealing red bikini top, but given the fact you are slightly intoxicated Johnny’s reaction doesn’t bother you. In fact it is welcomed as you send him a wink.
“Hey Gaudreau! How about you stop staring at my friends chest and throw the damn ball?” Matt growls beside you. You bump your hip with his, and furrow your brows at him silently asking if he’s okay. He shakes his head gently in dismissal as he smiles at you.
Macy sits quietly to your left, watching you all play. She watches the way Matt places his hands on your hips to help you get in position. Watches as he lifts you into the air spinning you around after you win a round. Watches as Matthew tries to advert his gaze as you peel your shirt off, his neck turning red, and not because of the hot sun. The straw for Macy was when she seew the emotions on Matt’s face as Johnny hits on you. His entire body tensing, as he grips the edge of the table. Why was he so protective of you? Would Matthew not be happy if two of his best friends dated? It is in that moment that it becomes clear to her. It has nothing to do with him not wanting you to be with Johnny. He wants you to be with him.
———
“Everything okay? You’ve barely said a thing to me all day.” Matt asks when he and Macy finally make it back to his apartment. She sighs loudly, starting to gather anything of hers laying around the apartment.
“You were busy having fun Matt, I wouldn’t want to get in the way of that. Or anything for that matter.” She responds, though her words only confuse him more. She just sends a soft smile in his direction as she shoves more things into her bag.
“Aren’t you staying?” He asks, a small pout forming on his face. Macy shakes her head, turning toward Matt. Her face is apologetic, but mostly unreadable to Matthew.
“You know you’re in love with her right?” Macy blurts out, and quickly clarifies. “Y/n, you love her.”
“Since when?” Matthew shoots back, way too defensively.
“Since pretty much always. That’s why I’m breaking up with you.” She smiles sadly closing the distance between the two. Placing a small kiss to his cheek, she whispers a small apology.
Matthew opens his mouth to protest, ask her to stay. Tell her she’s wrong, and that he loves her, not you. He can’t though, because it would be a lie. She knows it, and so does he. So he watches as she leaves, an uneasy feeling in his stomach as a single tear falls down his face. What has he done?
———
You decide to take a few summer classes to help make your work load for the upcoming school year a little more manageable. Choosing to stay in Calgary for the summer, instead of traveling back to St. Louis with Matthew to see your family. Matthew tries to convince you to go, but you tell him you can’t. You need some distance from him anyway.
———
It was distance you got. You barely talk to him all summer, and tonight will be the first time you’ve seen him since that night at the BBQ.
“How is Matthew doing?” Elias’ girlfriend Annica asks you, as the two of you take your seats at the home opener. You shrug and sigh taking a sip of your drink. “I don’t know, I’ve barely spoken to him since the BBQ at Gio’s.” You admit, a small frown on your face.
“Wait? Did he not tell you!?” She practically shrieks in your ear. You just give her a confused look, a wide smile stretching across her face. “About him and Macy!”
Immediately your stomach drops. You brace yourself for the announcement. Maybe they’ve moved in together? Got engaged? Having a baby? All of the thoughts make you feel sick, but you smile over at Annica trying to hide your emotions. “No I haven’t spoken to either of them really. What are they finally tying the knot?” You try and joke, but really you’re terrified of the answer. Annica’s face falls slightly. Confusion written all over her face.
“They broke up.” Annica explains in a light tone. Almost as if she was explaining it to a child. “Oh.” Was all you manage to choke out, as Annica watches you. She’s waiting for more of a reaction, but you can only sit in shock. What happened? Why didn’t he tell you? Why did no one tell you?
You can barely sit still through the game, you’re mind is running wild. Why had Matt not talked to you about this? Why had he barely spoken to you at all? Was he okay? Who broke up with who? Why do you care so much? Soon enough though all of your questions will be answered. You are standing next to Annica outside the locker rooms, tapping your foot nervously. She asks if you are okay, and all you can do is nod. Elias makes his way out of the dressing room and over to you. He gives you both a quick hug and you congratulate him on their win. “Matt will be out in a few minutes.” He smiles at you, and you tell the couple to have a good night as they leave. Gio and Johnny both stop to talk to you on their way out.
Johnny hangs back and waits with you. “How was your summer? Finally got a break from the pest I hear.” He teases, leaning against the wall beside you. You smirk up at him, “My summer was great! Significantly quieter than I’m used to, but I enjoyed it. It’s nice to see you again though, how was your summer?” He smiles brightly down at you as he launches into some long story about how crazy his training was. You try to listen, and seem interested, but that becomes significantly harder as Matthew finally comes out of the dressing room.
He is wearing a navy blue suit with a white dress shirt. The top three buttons undone, and his tie just draping loosely around his neck. His hair is damp and falls across his forehead, he is staring at his phone still not having noticed you. He almost walks right past you, but you speak up grabbing his attention. “Any time for your biggest fan hotshot?” His eyes snap up from his phone, a grin replacing his previously shocked expression.
“My biggest fan huh?” He smirks pulling you into a tight hug. You grip onto his suit jacket tightly not wanting to let go as you hum into his chest. “That why you’re wearing that necklace?” He teases and you blush trying to hide your face even further in his chest. “Shut up,” You mumble, “I missed you.” He kisses the top of your head mumbling about missing you too. Johnny clears his throat awkwardly, as you quickly pull away from Matthew.
“Well I’m going to head out now, goodnight you two.” Johnny winks at you as he walks away. You turn back towards Matthew to see him smiling down at you, and your stomach drops. A small frown makes its way onto your face as you remember exactly what you came to talk to Matthew about. “Matt, we need to talk.” His face falls a little bit, but he nods and grabs your hand in his. He starts walking further into the building, and you follow. Eyes trained on your hand in his, heart beating rapidly in your chest. You’re so nervous, that you hardly even realize Matthew is leading you up the steps and into two seats in the top row of the arena. As the two of you sit down, you don’t look at him. Instead you stare down at the ice, now only lit by the emergency lights causing a strange glow. You’ve never seen the arena like this, so quiet and lifeless. Your internal thoughts seem amplified in the silence, but you can’t seem to find the words to say what you’re thinking.
You’re not sure how long the two of you sit in silence before Matthew let’s out a sigh, turning towards you. “St. Louis isn’t the same without you.” He says quietly, a sad smile on his face as you finally meet his eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me about Macy?” You blurt out, face heating up in embarrassment once again. Matt stares at you for a moment, before dropping his eyes to his hands that are now fidgeting in his lap.
“I didn’t know what to say.” He mumbles out, playing with his fingers. You shake your head and sigh, pulling your eyes away from the distracting movements of his hands. You decide to examine the ice once again, wrapping your arms across your chest. You’re trying to brace yourself for how badly this might end.
“You didn’t know how to tell your best friend you broke up with your first really serious girlfriend?” Your voice is probably too accusatory, but you’re hurt. How can he keep so much of his life from you? Your mind is running in circles as you wait for a response, attempting to hold yourself tighter.
“Yeah like it’s that easy!” Matthew’s voice is significantly more angry than you are expecting, and your heart rate increases immediately. “I say ‘We broke up.’ And then you ask a million questions about what happened and why, I didn’t know how to say it!”
You look at him now. His eyes are glossy, and his face is red. In anger or embarrassment? Who knows, maybe both. “Matty, I know you really cared about her. It’s not easy to talk about, but if you’re going to move on you have to talk to someone.” You make sure to keep your voice gentle as you speak, “I want to be that person for you Matt, but if I’m not that’s okay. Just please talk to someone, you can’t stay broken forever.”
Matthew laughs at you, but it doesn’t make you feel better. The laugh is humourless, and you can hear the lack of emotion behind it. “That’s the part I can’t explain Y/n, you don’t get it! I’m not broken about it, and I should be! I was in love!” He’s frustrated now, as he runs his hands over his face and through his hair.
“Matthew, it’s okay. People fall out of love all the time!” You place a hand on his bicep to try and sooth him. It seems to work as you feel his muscles relax under your touch. He sighs softly beside you, as he lifts his eyes to meet yours once again.
“I didn’t fall out of love, I’m still in love.” Your brows furrow in confusion, as you search his eyes for any clue about what could be going on inside his head. “Just not with Macy.”
“T-there’s someone else?” You are taken aback, and now your mind is spinning. Did he cheat on Macy? Who is she? Matthew just nods in response. “Have I met her? Oh my god please don’t tell me it’s like one of the WAGs or something!” You are rambling uncontrollably, unable to comprehend what Matthew is trying to say. “Matthew did you cheat on Mac-“ Thankfully he was quick to cut you off.
“It’s you.”
You freeze. Eyes practically popping out of your skull, you open and close your mouth repeatedly. Sure you might look like a fish out of water, but that’s exactly how you feel. You must have misheard what he is saying. Right? The ‘you’ had to be someone else. The look Matthew is giving you right now though, a look of total honesty, a look that is teetering on the edge of disappointment. That look tells you all you need to know. He means you. He is in love with you.
“Since when?” You croak out. Your entire body is trembling with nerves, still terrified he will take it back. Maybe you’re being punked.
Matthew leans closer to you, uncrossing your arms that were still wrapped tightly across your chest. You can feel your heartbeat in your throat as he takes your trembling hands in his. His hands feel different now, softer. They are so much bigger than your own, and you’ve never noticed until now just how right they felt wrapped around your own.
Matthew releases on of your hands, as he brings one to your chin. He tilts your head so you’re looking into his eyes again. “Since always.” He smiles, pressing his forehead to yours. You subconsciously lick your lips, and Matthew takes that as a sign to lean in. His lips hover just above yours, but he doesn’t close the gap.
“Matty-“ you whine quietly, and he smirks in response.
“What’s wrong bug?” He’s teasing you now, and he knows it.
“I’ve been waiting for this moment since the tenth grade, please just kiss me!” Your pleads are finally answered as Matthew finally presses his lips to yours. It’s firm and certain, and intoxicating. Gripping his suit jacket, you pull him closer deepening the kiss even more. Matthew groans against your lips, one hand cradling your neck, the other gripping your hip tightly.
The kiss starts getting more intense, the years of built up tension and pining being shared in this one kiss. Matthew, despite not wanting to stop, pulls away first. Your lips chase his, not wanting the moment to end. Scared that when it does, you’ll wake up. Like this is all a dream. Or even worse, it’ll end, and Matthew tells you he was wrong.
“Easy tiger!” He chuckles, tucking some hair behind your ear. Matthew is positive you’ve never looked so beautiful. You’re lips are pink and swollen, face flushed lightly, and your eyes are big and bright as they look into his.
“Did you mean it?” You ask quietly, “When you said that you loved me, because Matty I can’t do this if you aren’t in. I can’t lose you.” Tears are stinging your eyes now, as your voice cracks with emotion. You can’t lose your best friend, and that has become more clear to you after not being with him all summer.
“I’m not going anywhere, if that’s what you want.” He looks at you hopefully. Your heart is beating so loudly in your chest, you’re almost positive he can hear it.
“Matthew of course this is what I want. I’ve always wanted you.” You pause momentarily, as you see a small smile spread across his face. His dimples now on full display. “I love you Tkachuk. I always have.”
He wastes no time kissing you again. Your hands tangle in his hair that’s still slightly damp, and his hands cup both of your cheeks. “I’m sorry.” He mumbles against your lips. You push him back, so you can look at him.
“Why are you apologizing?” You’re confused now, as you immediately begin building your walls back up. You’re waiting now, waiting for the other shoe to drop. You know this felt too perfect.
“Because,” he sighs, shoulders slumping under your gaze. “I should have done that so long ago. Instead I let you think you weren’t good enough. I let you go on believing that I didn’t love you. Brady told me about what you said, about not being good enough. I hope you know now that it was never like that. You are, if anything, too good for me. I was scared, and stupid, and I’m sorry I hurt you.”
Your heart breaks a little for him. You can see the remorse and guilt written all over his face. “Well Matthew. I can accept that apology under one condition.” You say teasingly, running your hand over his shoulder giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You take me out on a date.”
Matthew smiles brightly down at you, and places a soft kiss to your forehead. “On one condition.” He whispers, lips still pressed against your skin. “You let me take you out as my girlfriend.”
“Anyone ever told you that you’re just a big sap Tkachuk?” You smirk. You don’t think you’ve ever felt so happy.
“Actually my girlfriend has, just now. She’s kinda cute.” You slap his chest playfully and roll your eyes.
“Take me home Tkachuk.” You announce, pushing yourself to your feet. Matthew copies your actions, adding a little salute to make you laugh. It does the job, and Matthew has you laughing the whole way to his car. As he opens the door for you, you lean into his chest pressing a quick kiss to his lips.
“You’re perfect.” Matthew says after the two of you are finally settled in to your respective seats in his car.
“Since when?” You scoff, rolling your eyes playfully.
“Always.”
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