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#i feel like a lot of us need to vent so fuck it let's go
stirdrawsandreblaws · 4 months
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if you see this feel free to reblog and bitch abt whatever you want in the tags
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hellpupp · 1 year
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Big Sad
#kicks dirt#idk how many times i can openly ask for what i need & just. not get it. before i've just gotta Stop bc it starts feeling pathetic#and potentially even bordering on emotionally manipulative.#debating the Morality of even tag-venting on my own blog bc i don't want anyone to assume this is targeted#i just feel Deeply Lonely and like i have absolutely nothing going on in my life except work#and just lowkey like.... Unseen.#sometimes i try So Fucking Hard to have a conversation with people only to have 100% of what i say completely ignored me#* in favor of a random meme.#it starts to fuck with you after a while! makes you feel Uninteresting and Foolish and Annoying#idk.#i mean i also ran out of my (Extremely Rough Withdrawal) SNRI last week so like. that isn't helping.#but it's more than that. i've been feeling like this for a while.#it just. really sucks when you move & have no irl friends. no energy to make any new ones.#and all of your long distance friends have A Lot of shit on their plates so you feel shitty and inconsiderate for even thinking of asking#for. well Anything really. let alone some of their extremely limited time & energy & attention.#like who tf am i to ask anyone#let alone people who are all Very busy and struggling w/ their own shit#for their undivided attention for a chunk of time they could be using to take care of themselves#i don't want to feel invisible anymore#but i also don't want to be a drain on the people i care about#i hate Needing things#i wish the depth of my love and devotion to the people i've chosen to care for was fulfilling enough on its own#so i'd never need to ask for things#having emotional needs is like. sooo gross & selfish of me tbh. :/' go the fuck to therapy holy shit u would Never say this abt Anyone else#anyway. watch me delete this in 5 seconds bc the need to be seen & the mortification of being Perceived can & do coexist#χ.txt
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kaijuposting · 10 months
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"Saw traps for people with moral OCD" is a phrase that has embedded myself into my brain because, well, Saw traps for people with moral OCD are everywhere.
Stuff that basically amounts to...
"You have to listen to my opinions on [issue], or else you don't care about [issue]. (Constantly talks about how people like you are the absolute worst.)"
Anything that's functionally like, "you have to let me tear you down over things you can't control or you're a bad person."
Anything that's functionally like, "you have to let me vent to you whenever and however I want or else you're a bad person."
"If you enjoy X media/trope, you just hate Y people."
"Everyone knows that X thing is harmful/hateful; if you engaged in it, it's just because you were fine with perpetuating hate/harm."
"You should have just known better/should know this already!"
This thread over here talks about the inherent issues of putting this kind of stuff out there. The TL;DR is that it really only works on people who are mentally unwell and have poor boundaries, while just pissing off everyone else. It really doesn't matter if you're technically correct; you're still attacking people, and that means they're not wrong to block you.
I think that many of these Saw traps are created when people effectively write posts directed toward people who don't want to help, rather than the ones who do. Like, if you catch yourself writing an angry, shame-laden post, ask yourself: who are you writing it for and what are the odds you're going to change their minds? If your mental image is some smug fuck or angry reactionary, you're writing for the wrong person. Write for the person who's curious, who's willing to learn.
Also? Work on figuring out how to transmute negative feelings into positive, encouraging rhetoric. EG:
"Why is there no X positivity?" -> "Let's hear it for X!"
"No one cares about Y problem!" -> "Hey, we need more recognition of Y problem" or "I haven't seen many people talking about Y problem, so here's some info on what's up."
"If you don't reblog this, you don't care about [group]" -> "Please reblog this, it would mean a lot for us [group]."
And if you're really super duper frustrated and want to vent with a lot of nasty words and sentiments? Consider taking it to a private vent channel or a journal or somewhere that a stranger with moral OCD/scrupulosity isn't likely to run across it.
Remember, most people don't want to hurt anyone. More people are ignorant than malicious. People naturally want to do the right thing, so if you feel like you have to guilt them or shame them into it, there's probably a fundamental communication issue somewhere, or they simply lack the context to understand why what you're saying is so important.
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samuraisharkie · 1 year
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man is it too much to want to get a hug without being the one to initiate or having to ask. like just getting a hug bc someone you’re close to knows you and knows you’re feeling bad and just wants to give you a hug?? why is that so rare
#vent#btw I hesitate to tag this as vent bc it’s a cry for fucking help#like I don’t want anything other than just. a little moment of tenderness#I just need to be held sometimes without having to go through a social qte first#I’ve been feeling so starved for like. not awkward sympathy or anything but just some irl acknowledgement that I’ve been grieving.#I’ve gotten it from like. one friend . (zazha.)#one family member (kitty).#NO one else has acknowledged my grief or initiated any comfort irl.#I mean acknowledged beyond a quick ‘oh yea sorry abt that btw :/ anyway’ halfway through a conversation#is it like. not a big deal to them so they forget?? is that it? bc I pretty clearly don’t feel the same way#I’m not even mad I’m just desperate. it’s hard for me to start the conversation sometimes. sometimes maybe I don’t want a talk just a hug.#just some expression that the people I’m close to know I’m going through something and could use comfort without me having to spell it out.#I promise y’all I’m not averse to surprise hugs when I’m going through a bad time. thats not gonna be a bad thing.#I have to start tearing up in front of people to get displays of affection or sympathy/comfort and I do NOT like that#I don’t like crying in front of people but when that’s the only way for me to get a semblance of understanding out of people.#then I’m just gonna have to deal by myself bc my body will literally suction those tears to my eyeballs unless I’m especially broken up atm#part of me wants to say I haven’t expressed enough that I need it but at the same time. my pet died. you’d think that’d be enough?#to let someone know I’m upset and could use some tenderness? I know for some people it isn’t such a big deal but like.#I was pretty openly shattered by that. and whenever I express that brokenness irl ppl get uncomfortable#I’m not even doing it in a weird way I’m just saying ‘I’m going through a lot right now. if I’m a little low energy or monotonous—#— that’s why.’#just. goddamn. i know I’m typing like im mad but im more distraught and a little hurt.#it just hurts when I have to be the one to emotionally spell everything out so whenever that’s difficult for me im just fucked#like I know those people I’m close to are going through their own shit but. goddamn. 😭#you’d think after your friend is dealing w a death you’d be able to spare SOMETHING#I’ve been meaning to schedule an appointment with my therapist that I rarely contact bc she’s Christian and maybe calling blue cross#but that takes some MAJOR emotional energy and also some time and space for me to be by myself and private in the house#which isn’t really possible#long story why the therapist is Christian and yet I haven’t found another btw. short version is finding therapists is hell#and she at the very least doesn’t impose her religion on me
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weyounbathwater · 11 months
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A donkey with a man's name was found playing poker call that a card ass ian lmaoo wait whats happ
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🪱 trillcore Follow
Guys, that same admirer left me another bouquet of Kilmarian daisies in my quarters <3
#personal #dax rambles #wishing for her
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⚜️ kaiwinning Follow
Gentle reminder that your pagh femininity can be damaged by engaging in unclean behaviors, such as violence, contact sports, rectal copulation, and real person shipping. Please stay vigilant and protect your pagh in the name of the Prophets!
#kai speaks #religion #the prophets #pagh #pagh hacks
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⚾ captainsiskoofficial Follow
So, was anyone going to inform me that someone installed this ancient program onto the station's computer, or did everyone assume that I would eventually learn from Jake?
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🛸 nogging5 🔁 jakeykeykey Follow
📰 jakeykeykey Follow
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🛸 nogging5 Follow
Jake, I'm starting to worry about your obsession with "ancient" humor....
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🛠️ chiefengineer1 🔁 moremorn Follow
🍺 moremorn Follow
🛠️ chiefengineer1 Follow
How are you doing that?
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💲 sponsored
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COME TO QUARK'S, QUARK'S IS FUN! COME TO QUARK'S, DO ...
→ Learn More ←
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🍞 bababariel Follow
It seems as though I have returned, but as an entity inside the station computer.
#there are a lot of us in here
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🐊 cardassianpride Follow
Vent. Don't reblog.
#How long has my ex wife been sleeping with my guls?! #I just caught her doing it with the new recruit #and she tried to tell me this shit about how since I do it all the #time then she can do it too? #and I tried to explain but she just said that we aren't #married anymore so I can't tell her what to do #the state of the cardassian family is in fucking pieces #cardassia is doomed in the hands of women like these #ugh I need to call *** ***** to feel better #vent
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💴 finance-advice Follow
To the last anon: no, the Grand Nagus will not give personal advice to anyone who makes under four million slips of latinum per fiscal year. This was outlined in the Nagus' own rulebook in volume 3, section 387, paragraph 910. You would know this if you had done your own research. Stop asking for more clarification or you will be audited.
#finance #commerce #cw audit #mod b
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🍾 kanar-gul Follow
Repair station pussy really hit different
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🐊 cardassianpride 🔁 cardassianpride Follow
All of these beautiful bajoran women ready to serve the state make me fit to burst 😍😍😍
🐊 cardassianpride Follow
WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG
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🍞 bababariel 🔁 quarkeyyy Follow
🧝 yourfriendlyvorta Follow
Hello, friends! What a wonderful opportunity for me to introduce myself using this, delightful, quaint social media experience! Let me, as the first Dominion representative on this platform, extend my warm welcome to the citizens of the Alpha Quadrant!
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chelseypprimrose · 1 year
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The Boy’s a Liar / bfd!Negan x Reader / no-apocalypse AU 🧟
Warnings: daddy kink, breeding kink, boyfriendsdad!negan, oral (female receiving) use of belt, squirting, swearing, use of degrading names, general Negan ness, voyerism, unprotected sex, reader is a little evil to her boyfriend : NOT PROOFREAD YET
Summary: Reader finds out her boyfriend cheated on her via a Snapchat story, she takes sweet revenge with her boyfriend’s hot as fuck dad.
A/N: I’ve never wrote for breeding kink before so please be kind lol 🤍 I had a lot of fun with this one!
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“Fucking waste of my damn time.” You cursed yourself, boys are so stupid. You couldn’t stop watching the Snapchat story of your boyfriend’s best friend, your boyfriend so obviously kissing a woman that wasn’t you. Not a care in the world, disrespecting you and the values you held in a loyal relationship. You didn’t know it this was a common occurrence that you just hadn’t noticed or a drunken one off. Not that it mattered, it was still a betrayal of your trust.
Eyes glossy with tears, you were driving towards your boyfriend’s house that he shared with his father, Negan. You didn’t even have a speech prepared, what you were going to say, if this was the final nail in the coffin of your relationship, your mind was running at a mile a minute.
Pulling into the driveway, you turned off the engine and put your car keys into your handbag, getting out and walking with purpose to the front door, your heels slamming on the concrete floor. You knocked on the door loudly, no answer. You knocked again, your hand shaking with annoyance.
The door finally opened but it wasn’t your boyfriend who stood before you, it was Negan.
“Hey doll, what you doing here so early? I was just making breakfast if you wanted any?” He offered before he took a proper look at your face, noticing the black tears of mascara that ran softly down your face.
“I don’t know what kind of fucked up morals you’ve taught your son, Negan, but I thought you were a better man. Obviously I was wrong.” You said with spite, you were letting your feelings be known to anyone who would listen. It was just unfortunate that it was the wrong person to direct your anger towards.
Technically, Negan hadn’t done anything wrong, but he was guilty by association in your current messed up state. You just needed to vent at someone, and Negan was the closest person to your boyfriend.
“Woah, doll? What’s wrong, what’s he done?” Negan moved aside so you could come in, walking towards the kitchen, the smell of fresh bacon and egg filling your nostrils. You placed your handbag on the kitchen counter, arms crossed, your hand playing with your necklace.
“He went out last night and he kissed a girl, I saw it on his friend’s Snapchat.” You managed to get out through a small sob, your eyes filling up with tears again. You couldn’t believe you were crying like this in front of his dad, you felt embarrassed.
“Jesus Christ, I’m sorry dollface, I didn’t raise the kid to do shit like that, we are loyal to our women.” Negan sighed, his hand running through his salt and pepper beard, trying to find the words to make the pain in your heart go away. His eyes watched you as you grabbed a tissue from the box placed on the dining table, using your front phone camera as a mirror to wipe your tears away.
“You know what though, it might be a blessing in disguise.” Your head whipped around to give him a look of disbelief, in what world could this be a blessing? “What the fuck do you mean, my boyfriend cheated on me? How could that even remotely be a blessing?!” Feeling your anger building up again, Negan walked around to your side of the counter, towering over you, his head coming down to whisper in your ear. “Oh please, Y/N. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you look at me, remember that party a couple months ago, goddamn doll, you couldn’t take your eyes off my dick in them swim shorts.” He gave a small laugh, his hand coming up to tuck your hair behind your ear, his eyes watching your chest raise with each breath you took. “You need a real man to take care of you, I heard you with him. I’m experienced enough to know when a woman is faking it to spare a man’s feelings.” Your eyes met with his, how on earth could he tell. You couldn’t even deny it, while your boyfriend was good enough, he was too soft with you, complaining when you’d asked him to just choke you a little bit. He didn’t want to accidentally hurt you, he’d said, your eyes rolling in annoyance.
“How the fuck do you know that?” You asked, his cologne hitting you in the face as he got ever so closer to you. “Like I said doll, I know women. You want to be played with don’t you? You want someone who knows how to please you properly, give into it doll. I could give you all the pleasure you’d ever need.” You let out a soft moan, knowing this was wrong but your petty nature taking over, not only was this such an evil way to get back at him, you longed for Negan. He was right on the nose with how you looked at him, you’d always found him attractive, just trying to stop yourself from jumping his bones whenever the two of you were around each other.
“Fuck it, I’ve always wanted to know what your cock feels like, deep inside me.” You whispered out, your hands wrapping around Negan’s neck as he captured your lips in a kiss. His hands finding their way to your ass, squeezing the round globes hard.
He lifted you up, walking towards the stairs. “I’m going to have you begging for mercy when I’m finished with you doll.”
It was almost animalistic, months of repressed attraction coming to a conclusion. You’d never have even thought about your late night fantasies coming true, until this very moment that they had. Negan kicked the door to his bedroom open, not bothering to close it behind him. Placing you on the bed, his hands grabbing the bottom of his t-shirt to pull it over his head revealing his toned torso and arms, his tattoo that you loved so much coming into view.
Your hands started to feel up on his chest, wanting skin to skin contact with him so desperately. You tried to sit up a little to take your tank top off but Negan stopped you in your tracks, slamming your arms down above your own head. “Don’t you fucking dare doll, that’s my job.” A dark look coming across his face, he ripped the tank top off you hastily. His eyes glued to your bare chest, you hadn’t bothered to put a bra on today, in a sleepy haze just wanting to get over here to question your boyfriend. “Such beautiful breasts doll, he’s going to regret giving you up.” Negan stated as he took one of your erect nipples into his mouth, a soft bite as he did. You moaned out, watching his every move, his eyes locked to yours.
Leaning up, Negan unbuckled your belt sliding it out of your jean loops, grabbing your hands, wrapping the belt around your wrists as your hands were placed back above your head. The leather tight and digging into your skin, only turning you on more, heat rushing to your pussy. Negan took the time to unbutton your jeans, pulling them down your legs revealing your small black thong that left little to the imagination, pulling them to the side, Negan licked a strip starting from your opening to the top, focusing his attention on your throbbing clit. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head, your boyfriend never took the time to ever focus on your pleasure, either because he couldn’t be bothered or he just didn’t care, you didn’t know.
You felt the extra wetness as Negan spat right on your pussy, bringing his fingers to slowly enter you. Starting at a slow, agonising pace he could feel your body relaxing as you let your body give in to the pleasure you were feeling. You wanted nothing more than to grip onto his hair, but your bound hands didn’t allow it. As he felt you relax, he quickened his pace up, moans leaving your lips loud and clear. “Such beautiful noises for me slut, and I know these are real.” You felt your core tightening as you kept building up wave after wave of pleasure, you’d never even realised you could get so close to orgasm so fast, Negan caught on to this and took his fingers out of you, dripping in your juices. He forced his fingers into your mouth, you sucking the wetness off like it was your last meal.
“You fucking dirty girl, you like the way you taste?” He asked, his fingers still in your mouth as he pulled his shorts down, revealing his boxers to you. “Yes, I love it so much. I need to fill me up Negan, ruin me please.” You managed to get out through heavy breathing and his fingers. He chuckled, manoeuvring your body so you were on all fours, facing the mirrored closet doors, next to the entrance of the bedroom. “I’m going to fuck you so dumb baby girl, you’ll forget your own name when I’m done with you. Going to get you drunk on my cock. You won’t even want another man to touch you.” You whimpered, seeing Negan pulling his large cock out of his boxer shorts, them falling to the ground. His tip was red, leaking with precum, standing erect. He looked like a Greek god, his posture so manly and authoritative. He lined up at your opening and wasted no time, starting at a hard and fast pace. “Oh my god, Negan yes! Fuck!” Your nails dug into your own hands, the leather of the belt still digging into you causing pain but you didn’t care, the feeling was too good to complain. Your toes curled with pleasure in your heels, Negan’s hands gripped on your hips like he was holding on for dear life. “Shit doll, you feel so fucking good, so tight for Daddy.” You eyes widened at the nickname, you’d always wanted to experiment with a daddy kink but he’d never allow it, said it made him feel weird. You couldn’t believe how much this man was filling your darkest fantasies, you felt like maybe your boyfriend cheating was a blessing in disguise after all. Negan’s hand came down to slap your ass, the motion leaving a good red mark on your cheek. You looked towards the large mirrors in front of you, seeing Negan’s body go through the motions, his hips bucking against your ass as he fucked you deep. “Yes daddy, I’m so tight for you, you feel so good inside me.”
Neither you or Negan heard the front door open, your boyfriend finally getting back from his night out, guilt filling him up as he remembered what had happened last night. He knew that what he did was wrong, that kissing that woman was wrong. Still tired and hungover, he at first thought his imagination was playing tricks on him when he heard moaning coming from upstairs, he didn’t think his dad was dating anyone, a look of confusion coming onto his face. He made his way up the stairs, looking through the open gaps of the banister, his features wrinkling in disgust and disbelief when he saw you, head thrown back in pleasure as you met Negan’s thrusts in a timed motion. He rushed up the whole flight of stairs until he got to the door.
“What the fuck is happening here?!” You heard the voice of your boyfriend, your eyes opening with a gasp, you thought Negan would stop, embarrassed that the two of you had been caught in such a way but he went even faster in and out of you, your hands trying to grab some of the blanket that was at the end of the bed, failing miserably due to the fact of your hands being bound together.
“Hey son, just treating your girl to a proper fuck, you were stupid as fuck to let this one go, she’s one dirty fucking girl! Maybe this will teach you not to go round sticking your dick in other women when you’ve got an absolute diamond at home. Now stand there and watch boy.” Negan laughed, your eyes meeting with your boyfriend, you couldn’t help with the moan that escaped your lips as Negan moved down to grab your chin, his head coming to the side of your ear. “Tell him doll, tell him how good daddy’s fucking you.” You smirked, looking out the corner of your eyes to look at Negan. “So fucking good daddy, filling me up, better than he ever could. Please keep fucking me like this daddy.” You whimpered, your lips meeting with Negan as he kept his eyes open, staring at his son.
Your boyfriend didn’t know what to do, he rushed out of the room, slamming the front door behind him as he was trying to gather his thoughts together.
“That was so fucking dirty doll, oh my goodness! I can feel you getting close girl, let yourself cum all over my cock. I want to finish inside you, fill your body with my baby.” You screamed out as your orgasm took over your body, black spots coming into your vision. Your pussy felt like it had a death grip on Negan’s cock, his thrusts coming to slower pace as he let you ride out your orgasm. “Pull out of me, I want to ride you daddy.” Negan didn’t need any more encouragement as he pulled out of you, lying down on his back as you dug your heels into the mattress, sat on top of him. “Be careful with those things, don’t want a hole in my mattress dollface. You look fucking good in them though, sexy as fuck.” He said, as he shoved his cock into your dripping hole. You bounced up and down, even with your orgasm taking energy out of you, you couldn’t stop, you needed Negan like a hardcore drug. His musk mixing with a light sheen of sweat over your bodies. Negan’s hands gripped your ass as he directed your body as you grind into his hips, your second orgasm building up in your core. His cock filling you up, “That’s it baby, bounce on daddy’s cock for me, I want to see my seed dripping out of you.” You quickened your pace, feeling Negan’s cock twitching in you. “That’s it daddy, fill me up with your seed, I want you to fill my pussy up daddy!” You screamed out, uncaring about neighbours being able to hear you, you were too cock-drunk to care. Negan growled, his seed spurting out in you, his hands gripped your hips like a vice, his breathing heavy. You came to your end as well, gushing all over his cock, wetting the bed below you and Negan’s stomach as you squirted for the first time ever in your life. You moaned louder than ever, falling to the side of Negan, his flaccid cock sitting on top of his torso. You both were spent, the only thing that could be heard in the room was heavy breathing. Negan got up slowly from the bed, he released you from the belt, your wrists red and sore. He grabbed a small towel from the on-suite bathroom, cleaning you up from your squirt wetness. He laid back next to you, his arm coming over you to pull you closer, a sloppy kiss on your lips. “Life is never going to be the same again after this doll. Shit, I know it’s wrong to ask but leave him, I’ll treat you better than that stupid boy.” You looked at him, a smile coming across your face. “Negan, you could ask me to do anything right now and I’d say yes, that was the best fuck of my life, Daddy.”
Negan laughed and slapped your ass as he caught you in another sensual kiss.
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staticradiodotcom · 2 months
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Lucifer as your Boyfriend NSFW
AN: I am starting to understand the hype around this man-
Tags: Lucifer x Gn!Reader, Smut, NSFW, Possible angst??, fluff. lots and lots of fluff. This is kinda lazy sorry. Not proof read.
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NSFW - TOP!LUCIFER
He’s big. A proud 7.5 inches. This man knows how to use it.
He’s always slow and precise with his moves. slow and hard is his trademark.
He gets off on making you beg.
He is the king of hell, but FUCK when you treat him like royalty he melts.
Protective. He will mark up every inch of your body so you know exactly who you belong to.
This man can make you cum in minutes with his tongue. He knows how to use it.
He doesn’t get jealous easily, He trusts you completely. However he gets insecure so he vents his insecurities into sex so he knows that no one else could get you like he does.
Loves to tie you up in intricate patterns. will tease and edge you as he does just so he can keep your interest.
He will choose your pleasure over his every single time. Sometimes he doesn’t even get off, it’s as if he forgets too. (but you’ll always correct that.)
Is usually soft and gentle with his movements but if you ask him to be rough he won’t hesitate to use you.
‘My gorgeous whore, filled with my cum.’
‘awe honey.. are you sensitive? I’m sure you can take another round.’
‘you’re so good for me, taking me like a champ. Come on baby, almost there. just a few more inches.’
‘Are you going to cum for me sweetheart? okay baby.. it’s okay.. i’m here, Cum for me. Scream my name. who’s making you feel this good?’
Huge cuddler. He loves to have his hands on you at all times even while he’s driving himself into you.
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NSFW - BOTTOM!LUCIFER
This man lives to serve. He’s obedient and keen to please you.
Always so cuddly but he will never outright ask for you to ruin him. He doesn’t want you to feel pressured.
He whines. He’s a mess while you use his body however he wants. constantly moaning your preferred name.
‘please.. please let me cum.. please i’ve been so good.’
He loves being fucked rough and hard, he wants you to use him until he can’t think.
Constantly needs reassuring (‘is this what you want?’ , ‘do you feel good?’)
Will completely melt underneath you while you ride him, bucking up into you as he desperately moans out.
Tie him up. he loves to be powerless.
Mark him up. show all of hell he’s yours. He doesn’t care what people he doesn’t care about think of him. He wants all of hell to know how lucky he is.
VERY CLINGY AFTER SEX. He is terrified you will get up and leave so he holds you close to him telling you how much you mean to him.
‘you made me feel so good baby. thank you..’
He loves to give you aftercare but he needs it just as much as you. he considers himself so lucky. He’ll kiss you constantly until you fall asleep in his arms.
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agendabymooner · 6 months
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SOMETHING UNEXPECTED !!! GEORGE R. X FEM!READER (18+)
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summary: their friendship wasn't the only thing that took an unexpected turn. but it wasn't anything that they wanted to complain about.
content warning: smut under the cut (minors dni!), use of explicit language, best friends to lovers-ish, dom!george, brief degradation, overstimulation, fingering, p in v, brief impact play, mentions oral sex (m receiving), dacryphilia (???) aftercare, mentioned past relationship, filthy filthy george 🙃
song rec: outside by bryson tiller (i have a driver specific prompt written hehe)
note: so like... george got the dog in him, canonically. also, 20 smut pieces??? 😳 enjoy xx
something sinful (smut) masterlist
a - n masterlist
o - z masterlist
if you’d like to get on one of my taglists, check this post out
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george russell had always known that her ex was a fucking prick. but to hear that her ex kept calling her, asking for forgiveness was another level of stupidity that george hadn’t expected. 
he had been her best friend long before he became a professional driver and he knew her all too well. he listened to her vent left and right— he knew her inside and out.
so george didn’t understand why she was still here, sulking in their booth as if the dance floor wasn’t calling for her. he had managed to get her out of her room and dressed up for tonight— she looked so amazing. so why was she here sulking over some man who wasn’t even worth half of her? 
“you ought to let loose, doll,” george leaned and whispered in her ear. her head immediately turned to look at him as he shrugged nonchalantly, “‘m just saying. that man is a prick.”
“i know he is, russell,” she huffed, kicking him lightly under the table. “there’s no need to tell me how much time i’ve wasted on him.” 
“well it’s not the matter of the time you’ve wasted on him before,” george told her with a smirk, extending his hand towards her direction as she grabbed it. 
he took her to the dance floor, standing behind her as they both danced amongst the sweaty bodies that wished for nothing but to let go of their worries and stress. 
the british man continued as he nibbled on her ear, “it’s the matter of time that you’re wasting on him now.” 
“george—“ she almost sighed at the feeling of his mouth, making him shush her. 
“don’t think about him now, love,” he murmured quietly, resting his hands on her hips as they both swayed their bodies to the club music. “it’s all about you and you're moving on from him.” 
“do you treat all of your friends like this, george?” she whispered back, leaning her head back to whisper in his ear. she was intoxicated by his touch and his words. it was hilarious how long before her previous relationship, she was willing to give it up for her best friend— and such feelings resurfaced now. 
she loathed george’s presence. his hilarious self, his blue eyes, his being. she hated him because he could make her feel things that friends shouldn’t feel.
his face feigned innocence as he asked, “like what?”
“like you want to fuck and love them more than their exes ever did,” she raised a brow and spoke bluntly. her bewildered feeling hadn’t stopped her from looking up at him with the same curiosity that she held as she asked him. 
he was just as shocked as she was, yet he remained where he stood. his eyes darkened at the way her words let those filthy thoughts out, unable to keep his thoughts contained as he answered truthfully, “only when i know their worth.” 
“you’ve spoken about how unsatisfied you felt with him,” he continued, his low tone sending chills down her spine as she looked ahead of her. “especially when he doesn’t listen to what you wanted to try in bed— those filthy thoughts of yours that he never listened to.” 
“i think about it a lot,” he hummed, his lips still fanning her ear as he spoke, “i think about those days when you overshared your thoughts and your fantasies in bed to me. and how you’d feel about him once that i fuck you the way you want to be fucked— if you’d ever think about him at all.” 
she almost whimpered at the words he let out, earning a chuckle from him as george laughed quietly. “you’re worth more than some daft bastard who wouldn’t even give in to your needs for once, darling.” 
“george…”
“hm?” he hummed again, both their bodies burning in desire, lust, and prolonged yearning as he held her closer. 
“fuck me,” she pleaded quietly, “make my body yours, george. please.”
“who am i to deny you that?” he chuckled again, nipping at her neck this time as he murmured, “don’t worry, sweetheart, i’ll make sure you’re so fucked out that you wouldn’t think of anyone but yourself and me.” 
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she hadn’t expected this from george. 
she had always known that he had his mean streak, but to be on the receiving end of that behaviour was what she hadn’t expected from him. though she wasn’t sure if it was mean of him to keep her body overstimulated from the amount of times he’d given her orgasms just by finger fucking her. 
her ex hadn’t even given her any long before they’d broken up.
her legs shook violently as the room was filled with squelching noises, sobs escaping her throat while she kept her head down against the soft mattress. 
the white sheets under her contrasted with how he fucked her with his fingers. who would’ve thought that the sweetest bastard to have existed would even be this domineering in bed? 
she couldn’t even think right now; she was eager to have his cock inside her after she’d gotten a taste of it earlier. 
her pussy throbbed against his fingers as he curled them up inside her, george’s other hand holding her cheeks apart to watch her cum drip down her legs. 
“geo- ngh~ god,” she whimpered against the mattress, her head moving to the side to try and get a look at his lustful smile. he seemed to be enjoying himself, fucking her from behind like he hadn’t just given her multiple orgasms in two hours. “pleaseeee— want your cock so bad.”
“oh? you want my cock, darling?” george asked, his fingers still thrusting inside her slowly as she whined. “thought you just wanted to get off?” 
“go- no,” she cried out, her legs wriggling against his touch before she moaned at the impact of his palm against her dripping cunt.
“stop moving,” george muttered, “you’re makin’ it hard f’me.”
“george, please,” she babbled incoherently, “want your cock so bad— please, please fuck me.”
she almost cried at the feeling of emptiness when george pulled his fingers out, walking around to pull her up. 
george propped her head up against his hand, silently observing the mess that he had made of her.
she always looked so pretty without makeup, he thought to himself. yet there was a sinful part of him that loved the smudge of her mascara and lipstick after fucking her mouth and making her cry for pleasure.
she always looked pretty, but seeing her so desperate and eager to submit to him made him realize how neglected she was before. george could only pity her ex for missing out on her. 
“y’look so pretty, did you know that?” george murmured, wiping the stains off her face as he continued, “so eager to lose control of your body— did he ever make you feel like this?” 
she felt nothing but haze and happiness that she hadn’t realized he was asking a question. her head snapped when he gave her face a light slap and demanded, “answer me, princess.”
“wh- i—“ she stammered, leaving george to chuckle.
“you sound so pathetic, sweetheart,” he cooed mockingly. “you’ve always wanted to give up your control of your body and he wouldn’t give it— and now you’re so lost that you can’t even hear me. d’ya want my cock that bad?”
she nodded, the grip on her chin restraining her from showing her eagerness as she begged, “yes, yes— please. put it in my mouth— my cunt, please george.” 
she didn’t expect this from george— the way he manhandled her body like she weighed nothing as he pulled her to the edge of the bed and bent her over. she hadn’t expected him to bottom out inside her cunt in one swift move, earning a deep groan from him as he swore silently. 
buzz… buzz… buzz…
george thrusted inside of her, hearing her scream and cry for more while he slid his cock past through the sensitive spot until his tip reached her cervix. 
“oh- fuck,” george swore. “such a good fucking pussy. it’s like you’re made for me.” 
“yes, yeah- i— george, please fuck me harder,” she sobbed, her eyes shutting tight as adrenaline rushed through her body. her face flushed at the heat of their bodies as she felt his cock inside her. 
“this cunt is made for me, yeah?” george taunted her, “this is mine only?” 
“yes, i— god~ fuck— yes, it’s yours,” she moaned, “yours only.”
buzz… buzz… buzz…
george reached for her phone, too pissed off at the vibration. 
“good,” he heaved, his hips snapping against hers as she cried aloud. “because i don’t like to share what’s mine— ‘m gonna make sure you belong to me only, got that, princess?”
“yes! fuck! george,” she babbled, “hah~ ‘s yours only, i promise! wanna make you mine a- wanna be yours! god! fuck me.”
“i’m yours, sweetheart— oh fuckin’ ‘ell,” george moaned, “so tight around me. you gonna cum?” 
“yes, ‘m gonna— please cum with me, georgie,” she whined, her body slowly convulsing against him as he continued to thrust— his pace now speeding up as they both reached their highs. “gonna cum, gonna cum! ngh~ ah- hah cum with me please!” 
“let go f’me darling,” he murmured, letting out a choked sigh as his cock twitched inside of her. she let out a sigh as her body shook, whimpering quietly as she reached her orgasm. 
hearing her cry about the emptiness inside of her made george smile, pulling out slowly before gently laying her limped body down on the mattress.
she had only nodded when he pressed a kiss on her forehead and said that he’d be back with a damp towel, her eyes trained on her phone which laid on the mattress. 
funny, she thought with a puzzled look, it was on the bedside table earlier. 
she took it and saw the first text that she received.
max verstappen: already fucking your best friend after we’d broken up? 
max verstappen: i expected better from you. 
she scoffed haughtily, eyes finding george’s as he gave her a worried look. she texted her ex boyfriend back quickly.
💗: he knows more about what i want better than you did.
she then tossed her phone aside as george walked back to the bed and started helping her clean up. 
“‘m not lying you know,” she mumbled, offering george a grateful smile once he finished cleaning her up. she then said, “when i said i wanna be yours.”
“oh i know you’re not lying,” he chuckled silently, pulling the comforter over her naked body as he snuggled with her. “i also meant it when i said that i’m yours.”
it was safe to say that neither of them had expected to like each other like this, either. but it wasn’t anything that they wouldn’t welcome with open arms. 
after all, nobody knew each other as much as they did. not even her shitty world champion ex boyfriend.
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♡ moony’s reminder 🅶 (general): @hiraethrhapsody @avaleineandafryingpan @topguncultleader @enhacolor @roseandtulips @woweewoowa
♡   moony’s reminder 🅴 (explicit edition): @glitterf1
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majimemegoro · 6 months
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Kamurocho dashboard simulator
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🏵 tojoc0re Follow
nishiki was 27 years old???
🏵 tojoc0re Follow
he shouldnt have been made a patriarch the dragon of dojima would of been better at it :/
( 420 notes )
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📸 daily-mac-photos Follow
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#kamurocho #tokyo #tenkaichi street #japan landscapes #photographers of japan #travel #cyberpunk #not as zesty as my usual subject matter but #lmao pls reblog this i almost got beat up by color gang members taking this photo
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🦢 chinpiraposting Follow
my hungry ass can't be left alone with staminam x i suck those bad boys down like juice
( 9,839 notes )
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🚲 wackycyclist Follow
.
#the entitlement i see on this site sometimes is disgusting #y'all will just post about having easy access to bicycles??? #some of us had our bicycles wrecked in fights??? #vent #do not rb
( 3 notes )
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🗡 koinodiscoqueen Follow
CALLOUT FOR SHIMANO FUTOSHI
I've talked a lot about this already on this blog, but I want to have everything collected in one post so next time some dipshit with a hannya hand icon slides into my inbox to call me a liar I can just link to this post. tl;dr shimano futoshi made my cousin feel realy unsafe while she was shaving his head, and here are the receipts:
Keep reading
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🚡 matsushigeboss-deactivated30190547
fr we need to stop letting twunks be in charge of anything
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( 3 notes )
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🍜 i<3kazama Follow
i stg if one more of you tells me the old yakuza way is dying I KNOW ALREADY shut UP
#feel like pure shit just want cold noodles
( 1,930 notes )
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📖 kamuroscamwatch Follow
today's scam: Aha water (again)
Was walking down pink street when I got stopped by a barker who promised that all my problems could be solved..., long story short, anyone remember Aha water from the 80s? Well, they rebranded as AHA water (subtle, I know) and they''re back at it. I stalked the people who make it and they literally collected puddle water from the champion district to put in the concoction. I didn't really feel well after drinking it, but the overall experience was good because they totally tapped into that nostalgia. Overall a really solid scam. Stay safe out there kamurocho.
4/5 stars
#scamblr #aha water #1980s #scams #scam rating #safety #scam review
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👺 hannya69 Follow
batting center is a normal place to get nastay in reblog if u agree
( 58,274 notes )
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🚗 thepocketcricuitfighter Follow
Does anyone here still play pocket circuit? :)
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📈 reglarsalaryman Follow
wtf this guy just ripped off his shirt in the street and started whaling on some guys?? everyone else started clapping and cheering and I just went along with it lmao 😅 am I missing something????
#this is right after he sang a song and saved a couple from jumping off a building #he was glowing too.... #average night in kamurocho
( 85 notes )
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🐛 majimaunderlingbaddiebracket Follow
ULTIMATE HOTTEST MAJIMA UNDERLING BADDIE TOURNAMENT FINALS!!!!
🔘 shinji-deactivated30190303
here y'all go again pitting two bad bitches against each other
🌀 jingusforehead Follow
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🌊 thugbaby Follow
everyone who voted minami is an arson apologist #nishidasweep
( 4,271 notes )
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🔥 businessboi Follow
fuck my job so much. everyone manifest an attack on millennium tower so I can go home.
🔥 businessboi Follow
by talos this can't be happening
( 38,386 notes )
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619 notes · View notes
haveateadude · 15 days
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bleak horizons
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summary *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ yeah, okay. maybe you're sad.
warnings *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ depression, self-harm, mommy issues (dw there's A LOT of fluff and cuddles and hugging and it all ends up alright) this is just talked about but it can still be triggering!!!!! pls take care of yourselves!!!!!!!! my dms are open :)
author notes *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ wasn't planning on posting this but i love validation. also, this is not like cannon ellie i guess?? i did a really bad characterization bc i used this as a vent and i just wanted comfort lmao. hope this still makes y'all feel seen or fucking something. btw this first part is really boring hehe, i wrote this when i was in a rush and in a train and i was tired and sad so i don't mind if it flops lol
i hate this so much idk why i'm posting this as my first pots. aghh. here u go ig. don't hate on me. bye.
(not proofread, sorry abt that)
pt1 — pt2 — pt3
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you look so out of it
pull it together
we can love you
forever and ever
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I've recently moved in with Ellie after weeks of looking for someone to move in.
I had checked other apartments, but this was the one that didn't smell like there was a corpse under my feet, hidden from the light beneath the floor and it didn't look like it was haunted by ghosts. The walls weren't chipping away, also, so that was a plus. There's no denying that getting used to living with someone else was difficult, but it was the only alternative to live away from my parents. Not to mention I had developed feelings for Ellie—she's beautiful, with those eyes and auburn hair, and her tattoos just make her look fucking badass.
After a few weeks, I settled in with her: we both have a routine, and established unspoken rules, and now it's comfortable living with her.
Tonight was a lovely night—I had already finished everything I had to do, and I didn't have an exam until next week, probably—until I got a call from my mother. I know I can't run away from this one. She always threatens to unroll me from college and take me home when I don't answer her calls. And I know she's capable of doing so.
“Hello?” I said as I went out to the kitchen, to take a glass of water.
“You know, most people say something sweet when they answer their mother.”
I roll my eyes, even if she can't see me. It was just a fucking hello.
“What happened, Mom?” I ask, not wanting to fight.
She takes a second to answer, “Well—I was looking at some resources and there are a lot near your area…”
She takes a second to answer, “Well—I was looking at some resources and there are a lot near your area…”
“Resources about what?”
“Therapy. Conversion therapy.”
It takes all of myself not to gasp, or cry. I don't know. I hear Ellie going out of her room, and walking towards the kitchen. I don't care if she's here; I haven't been caring about anything these past few days.
“Okay,” Is all you say. I don't know how to answer, or what to do. I leave the glass on the aisle with trembling hands.
“That's all you have to say?”
“I—I don't know what you want me to say.”
“‘Thank you’, maybe?” I stay quiet, I don't want to thank her, I don't want her to speak to me ever again. “You could also get therapy for, you know…”
“For what, mother?”
“The cutting. Your scars—I always thought they looked repulsive. No one is going to lov—”
I hung up before she could say anything else. I hate her. I hate my mother. I can't even believe she's a mother, let alone mine. I suddenly feel the need to hurt, and I hate to admit it, but my mother has always been right about the way they look—so I just shut my eyes and try to breathe. It always helps—deep breathing, that is. I have to remind myself that I'm clean. I've been clean for months. Maybe even a year, I lost count.
“You okay?”
Ellie's voice almost makes me flinch, already having forgotten about her. I open my eyes as she walks over to me and lays her elbows on the aisle, while I rest my back on the counter behind her.
I look at her, with a knot in my throat, “I'm fine.”
“Your mother…” She makes a pause, short enough to not make me go crazy, “Is she, like, a pain in the ass?”
I chuckle at that as I cross my arms, “Yeah.”
“If it gets too bad, you can talk to me. I don't mind. And my dad has some contacts, we can maybe scare your mother away.”
“It's okay,” I tell her with a smile. “I can manage.”
“I know,” She smiles, and I can feel my heart fluttering in my chest.
Before I say anything I regret, I go to your room with my door open—a technique I've acquired to avoid hurting myself.
I sit at my desk and look up conversion therapy first, I want to know what this is all about—I know that it's harmful to people in the community, that it leaves you screwed and fucked up. I don't like what pops up on my screen, so I close the tab and go to another one—where I search for therapy. The real one.
I went to a lot of therapy sessions, but my mother was always behind them, so I don't know if it ever was effective. I like this one a lot better. It should be helpful. It will help, I know that for a fact.
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I'm having dinner with Ellie, which we normally do—today we ordered, since we were hungry and it always takes a little while to prep a meal—when I think to ask her about the topic.
“Do you know any therapy center?” I ask her. “Or the number of a therapist? Whatever.”
If she's curious, she doesn't show it. She stops chewing on her food, then looks at me; then continues to chew, and after she swallows she speaks, “Sure, I have some friends that go to the same therapist, so it's completely trustworthy, I guess. I can ask for the number.”
I wipe my mouth with the napkin on my side, “Yeah, that'd be alright.”
Ellie takes a sip from her cup and then looks at me, “You okay, though…?”
“I'm fine, just—you know, making sure everything's okay.”
She nods, “Got it—I was just asking.”
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After my first therapy session, I ended up tired. My therapist—which feels weird to say out loud and even in my head—is a nice lady in her thirties who looks like a hippie.
I've realized I tend to lie a lot—I didn't talk about self-harm or my mother. Or anything else, really. Just about the movie Speak, and then almost cried when talking about the weather.
So, “Yeah, it went well,” is my answer when Ellie asks how it went, sitting in her car. She picked me up since I had taken my car to maintenance.
“Okay, then,” she says once the car engine starts. She connects her phone to Bluetooth, and we listen to music for a while. Ellie places her hand on my knee when I start bouncing my leg, which sends shivers down my spine and gives my brain something to think of that isn't any of my shit. “Do you want to go eat something?”
“Sure,” I accept. Her thumb makes little circles on my knee. I wonder if she knows what she's doing, her eyes are still fixated on the road. My heart does the flutter thing that it did a few days back again, and my core heats up.
She doesn't want you, I try to convince myself. She's your friend, she doesn't want you. She will fall in love with you, not your brain nor your scars, and when she finds out about the way you think she'll leave.
When we arrived at the restaurant, we ordered a plate together, since we always share and the food here comes in big sizes that we wouldn't finish if we ate it separately.
When we arrive at the restaurant, we order a plate together, since we always share and the food here comes in big sizes that we won't finish if we ate it separately.
“So, how's work?” I ask when we're waiting for our food.
“It's going well, I guess.”
“You guess?”
"I just hate my boss."
I furrow my eyebrows, “do you want to talk about it?”
“It's fine, he just sucks. But well, Jesse is postulating to—you know, be a boss; that fucker.”
I chuckle, “Well, I like Jesse.” I soon realize what I said, and my cheeks go red. “Not in a, uh, romantic way or anything. You know. Fuck. He's just nice.”
“Just nice?”
“I like you better than him,” I blurt out, which only adds to my embarrassment.
Oh, oh.
I like Ellie.
Fuck, yeah. You do.
Who am I kidding, I knew I did. From the start—from the first time she looked at me, for the first time touched my hand and spoke to me; for the first time she played guitar for me and made dinner because she knew how tired I was.
Ellie is flushed. I can tell.
“Oh, do you?” She asks with a grin.
The waitress comes with our food, and leaves the plate. I look at her, she looks at me at Ellie and then leaves.
I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and lay my elbow on the table, with my chin propped up in my hand.
“What if I do?”
She bites her lip, looks at mine and then at the food, “The food's getting cold.”
What the fuck. What the actual fuck. Did that actually happen, or was it my imagination? Holy shit. Shit! Fucking fuck.
It leaves me thinking, but my thoughts leave when I hear her laughter after I crack a joke.
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We take the stairs up the apartment, and we laugh all the way up. We just laugh and laugh and laugh because she said something and now I'm almost falling to the floor from how much my stomach hurts.
“Stop,” I say when we get to our apartment door. I keep laughing because Ellie's laughing too and she can't open the door. “My stomach hurts.”
She looks at me and laughs. Idiot. I laugh, too.
“Hey!” We hear our neighbor say. “Quiet down!”
“We're sorry!” I exclaim back, as he closes his door.
Ellie giggles, “You're so fucking dumb, I'm not sorry at all.”
“Shut up,” I say.
“Oh, make me.”
And then—oh, god—and then, and then she looks at me as the curvature of my lips goes down, and then I kiss her.
I kissed her. I fucking did. Me, not her—not Ellie's brave and confident ass, but mine. The butterfly in my chest flutters harder when she kisses back. She puts both of her hands on my waist and deepens the kiss, while my hand moves from her cheeks to her neck, then finds its way to her torso.
Ellie manages to open the door without breaking the kiss, and then she shuts the door with her foot.
“We should—” I speak between kisses. “Ellie—couch.”
“Yeah, okay. Okay.”
Our tongues fight, but our souls mend and I find my way to her in every sense. 
109 notes · View notes
spacelazarwolf · 11 months
Note
Maybe i just need to vent.
I fucked up. Got called out. And wouldn't you know it, the callout has done nothing for me a trans man but isolate me, make anyone scared to speak up for me, and now i have fash chuds spoof calling my phone! No matter how bad it gets and what they are told about it by concerned parties in private these people won't even update their shit to say "we don't endorse harassment of this user, stop. " which tells me they just endorse harassment of me.
It's like it's just cool to harass an autistic trans man! It's like if you direct fashy chuds to the lowest common denominator, no one will acknowledge you're being as bad as those chuds.
Maybe people should stop unintentionally creating a police state online because they're used to it? IDK
imo "callout culture" is entirely antithetical to concepts like prison abolition and restorative justice, which a lot of people who perpetuate callout culture claim to support. i remember reading years ago about how "callout/cancel culture" was a concept that originated on black twitter to let other black people know about businesses and people that weren't safe for black people to go to or interact with. so it makes sense that, like intersectionality theory, it was co-opted and bastardized by white people and turned into a bludgeon against other marginalized people.
and like. this is something i've been talking to my irl friends about a lot lately. because what's the goal? what are you trying to achieve by making that callout post? what happened to prompt it? did someone prove a pattern of dangerous behavior, or did they just fuck up and now you have an excuse to put them on blast to feel morally superior? are you making this post so people are aware of someone with a pattern of dangerous behavior and can stay away, or are you making it knowing that it will prompt the people in your circle to go after that person and "punish" them? do you want that person to learn from their mistake(s) or do you want to brand them as a bigot forever? do you want the world to be a better place, or do you want to be angry at your (perceived) oppressors?
so yeah, if you're going to say acab and if you're going to say you believe in prison abolition and restorative justice, you cannot turn around and make a callout post for everyone on tumblr dot com you think has wronged you.
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strongheartneteyam · 9 months
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Realize where you belong.
Chapter 9
Pairing: neteyam sully x female!dreamwalker!reader/female!human!reader
CW: wholesome fluff, a good amount of angst, lo'ak being nosy lol jk he's genuinely trying to look after neteyam, descriptions of masturbation, TRIGGER WARNING for mentions of depressive symptoms, reader meeting neteyam in her avatar body, neteyam and reader vent to each other about their struggles, sensitive themes, hurt/comfort, cuddling, sexual tension, kissing, sexual content, mentions of sexual fluids, neteyam slightly begging to mate with reader, foreplay (i don't know if it counts but it definitely is teasing in a sexual way). Tell me if I missed something ♡
Hello, my cute little readers! I got a little better in terms of my fibro flare up and have been feeling a little better emotionally/mentally these days, so, I was able to write again. There's a slight chance that some paragraphs are a bit confusing. I didn't fully proofread it. I'm sorry, my babies, I'm really tired right now, really achy, still. And I'm extremely hungry and there's some delicious homemade orange cake in front of me waiting to be eaten 😍 I've already eaten two pieces of it and drank a full cup of coffee with milk but I NEED to eat more bc I'm still starving and I love cake and coffee 🤤 idk about other countries but it's a tradition that we have here in Brazil to eat cake and drink coffee, together 🤍 anyways I gotta shut up now lol Hope you enjoy this chapter! I'd love to read your lovely comments down below 👉🏻👈🏻 I love y'all SO MUUUCH 😘 
Slightly proofread.
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Chapter 8
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
No way out of your quicksand
But I can breathe underneath
Take your love, cover me
Pull me down, pull me down
You are wonderful
You've taken all of my heart
It was so worth the fall
Don't let go
Quicksand (Bridgit Mendler)
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
Today you felt anxious but excited. It was your first day off in a week. You were gonna Dreamwalk in your Avatar today. But you were not gonna be on a solo mission this time. Neteyam would be by your side. You two had planned to meet each other next to the river you always loved to play in. You had always loved running water.
Having Neteyam around felt like a breath of fresh air to you since you never truly felt at home amidst other human beings and, after so many years, it started to feel like a joke to you to insist on trying to fit into a society that seemed to not even want you there, in the first place. Most people behaved towards you like you were weird in some way. Neteyam never made you feel that way. You did not know if it was in view of the fact that he was na'vi or if it was just because he was in love with you.
You had always preferred to live among plants, insects, songs, books, animals… on your own little world, since you were a little girl. Everybody used to call you a daydreamer, saying you had your head on the clouds. When you were a child, you did not let that get under your skin. That's the beauty of childhood wonder, it has a lot of wisdom in it that we seem to forget, once we start growing up. Your little self never cared about those "demonstrations of care and concern" (that were nothing but condescending criticism and you never understood why people tried to conceal that fact if it was so obvious) because you knew you were not crazy or completely oblivious to reality like they used to say. Your fun and whimsical inner world was what felt like home to you, not the everyday mundane routine, the protocols that seemed ridiculously stupid to you, the shallow conversations and gossip… the over-all human society. It fucking sucked, if you were going to be totally honest. 
It's not that you hated your own kind. No. It's just that you hated the way they built their empires, throughout history, the tainted legacy the ancestors left for the ones to come in the future - like a dying Planet, for example -, because of their own stupidity and recklessness.
You knew you were not harming anyone - yourself included - despite always engaging in daydreaming, all alone, with your earbuds on or just staring at a beautiful landscape and your grip on reality was still in check. Your grip on reality was actually so tight, your fingers would get hurt and start to bleed sometimes, because reality is a double bladed sword. It keeps you safe and stable, it is needed for you to not go bonkers, but it also cuts you deep with its sharp edges.
༊⁀➷
Neteyam prepared to go out today to meet you during the day for the first time after the both of you became mates. It was just like Eywa had blessed him as he was able to finish all his duties to the clan and his training a little earlier than the usual today. Or maybe the Great Mother had nothing to do with it and it was all Neteyam making the greatest effort ever just to be able to spend some time with you in the daylight and finally see you in your na'vi body again. He missed seeing you like that. He missed the way your tail would wag softly showing you were feeling happy, he missed looking at your stripes and thinking they were the most beautiful stripes he had ever seen and most of all, he missed admiring the way you loved his planet, the way you respected and appreciated Eywa instead of hurting her.
When Neteyam was taking his bow and arrows and putting them on his back, ready to go into the woods to meet you, Lo'ak approached him, suspicious.
"Where are you going, bro?"
"To the forest. Maybe I can hunt for some food and if I'm lucky I'll bring us some good meat for dinner." Neteyam smiled and gave his younger brother a head pat, rapidly walking out of the Sully's hut door
Lo'ak wanted to yell something to his older brother, something like "I know there's something you're not telling me" but he did not. If Neteyam was hiding something, it would probably not be something that would harm him - Neteyam. Everybody knew how responsible - to the point of being annoying, sometimes - Neteyam was. Lo'ak used to get Neteyam into trouble all the time back when they were just teenagers and he was trying not to do that as much as he used to, even though he was not exactly doing a great job - he was doing a terrible job, actually - but he was still trying. He would still keep an eye on his older brother - "It seems like the tables have turned, huh?" Lo'ak thought - but he would leave him alone to do whatever he was going to do in the forest. He knew Neteyam did not have much free time for himself and he sometimes felt sorry for him, seeing him so tired and even stressed out really often because of his Olo'eyktan to be training and his responsibilities as the older brother. Lo'ak used to hold some grudges on his older brother when he was younger but now he understood that Neteyam actually struggled a lot too.
Neteyam pretended to not notice anything when he was leaving home but he did not fail to see the mistrust on Lo'ak's face. That was something he would have to deal with sooner than he wanted to, he acknowledged. He also thought about how his mother would react when she eventually finds out that her son, the future Olo'eyktan of their tribe, was in a relationship with a human girl. Neteyam did not want to disappoint his mother. He knew how proud she was of him and it hurt to think that she could start to think badly of him. He tried his hardest to whoosh those thoughts away.
༊⁀➷
The Pandoran sun shone bright up in the sky, its rays reflecting on your bioluminescent freckles, making them a little more evident on your skin. The soothing sound of the leaves dancing with the pleasant wind and the water running in the nearby river filled the atmosphere around you. You walked slowly towards Neteyam, adrenaline dancing around in your belly in a bittersweet motion.
When Neteyam looked at you, it was like lightning had struck him. Not a destructive kind of lightning but a good one, sweet in its intensity, falling strongly all over him. Neteyam was seeing you in your Avatar for the first time after you had become his mate.
Your mouth was somewhat open, revealing your upper teeth and your na'vi (Avatar?) fangs. Your gaze revealed how much you had anticipated that moment, how much you stayed up when you should be sleeping, thinking about finally being able to see the look in Neteyam's face when he saw you in your Avatar. You knew he had watched you while you were Dreamwalking too many times before but you never got to see the admiration in his eyes when he did so as he had been stalking you, not letting you know he was around. You had wished to see his beautiful golden eyes captivated by you for so long. You wanted to feel pretty and desired like that. And now you were finally experiencing it as Neteyam looked almost dumb with enchantment while he stared at you. But cute dumb, you know? So damn cute…
You stared back at him as you took the last steps towards the place where he stood, as if he was frozen.
Neteyam felt like he was not able to move as he took in how beautiful you looked. He had never seen your na'vi body so close to his own body and it felt overwhelmingly good to do so. His sweet yawne finally belonged to him and he could now touch you and hold you in the physical form he found you most beautiful in. It's not like he did not think you were madly beautiful and hot in your human body, he always wanted to pin you down and make love to you while he was close to your human form, but nothing compared to seeing you in your na'vi form, the form where you smiled the most, where you seemed so much more alive and full of lust for experiencing the world around you. That made you even prettier. Happiness looked pretty on you.
Neteyam was na'vi and his people did not have as many severe mental struggles like humans did but there were rare cases where some na'vi who went through terrible trauma in their lives did become uninterested in fighting their dark thoughts and they did become extremely depressed, though they could be cured from that illness through rituals that healed the spirit, performed by their clan's Tsahìk.
Neteyam was not blind or oblivious to things that were obvious to the naked eye. He knew that nobody would break down and cry as often as you did, only minutes after waking up in the morning, while getting ready for work etc if this person was not in an enormous amount of pain, the kind of pain that made them wish to disappear and never be found again. Thinking about his mate feeling that kind of sorrow made him feel like his heart was being torn into pieces, blood spilling from it like water spills from a fountain.
The reason why Neteyam was so determined to convince you to transfer your consciousness to your na'vi body forever was not some selfish wish, it was not just because he wanted to take you to his tribe and have you be his mate, be able to bond with you through tsaheylu every night and get to love your body, sharing his affection and sexual pleasure with you as well as feeling your own through the bond - even though that thought did wake up a raw, intense desire and need inside of him and he just could not stop himself from fantasizing about that while stroking his cock when he could be all by himself without any chance of disturbance. Neteyam also wanted to give you the opportunity to live a blissful and fulfilling life, a life where you would laugh way more often than cry. If he knew someone that deserved nothing less than that, that person was you.
If in the worst case scenario, you still felt so bad after you had your consciousness transferred to your na'vi body, Neteyam planned to ask his mother to perform a ritual that heals the spirit on you. Thinking about that, he suddenly felt anxious and he felt his heart tightening inside his chest. Neteyam had been trying not to worry about the fact that it would be extremely hard to convince his mother to accept you as his mate and perform the ritual of transference of consciousness on you but that thought had been eating him alive constantly, ever since he talked to you for the first time, outside of the laboratory’s kitchen window.
"Hi, muntxatan." (male mate) Neteyam's heart started beating quickly and it almost came out of his throat when he heard you calling him your mate in his people's language as you stopped in front of him and smiled widely, your eyes narrowing slightly. Those torturing thoughts about his mother trying to tear the both of you apart quickly were washed away from his mind by your presence. It was hypnotizing to him.
"Yawntu… You're just so beautiful. So insanely beautiful." Neteyam smiled, his eyes shining, still bewitched by you, and pushed you roughly against his body. He hugged you tighter than he ever did before since he knew he wouldn't hurt you by doing so when you're Dreamwalking. The size difference between the both of you was not that substantial anymore. His chin rested on the top of your head as he held you strongly against his body.
His roughness did not hurt you, on the contrary, it made you feel safe and protected to have his big - currently not huge, just big - arms around you, keeping your body close as your head was against his chest, your eyes shut and you could hear his heart beating fast. It made you indescribably happy to know that you were the reason for that quick heartbeat. You curled your lips up, smiling peacefully.
Peace. You spent so much time without feeling that but, after you accepted becoming Neteyam's mate, finally defeating your cruel fears, you started to feel peaceful way more often than you had ever felt in your life, even more often than you did when you were little.
Neteyam distanced your bodies a bit, still putting his hands on the sides of your arms, right below your shoulders and announced:
"Come! There's a place I wanna take you to." He took your hand and started walking in front of you, excitedly leading you somewhere 
"Where are you taking me?" You smiled and chuckled softly, curious
"You'll see." It was all he said
Neteyam made you feel excited about little things, like you were just a child again, a feeling you hadn't felt in so, so long. After Neteyam came to your life, it was like he painted vivid colors on your once all too white and dull canvas. You almost shivered at the reminder that you nearly ruined your chance to have a love so pure and true such as this one because of fear of the unknown and refusal of getting out of your comfort zone.
After walking through the rainforest with you for a little while, Neteyam stopped in front of a tall, large tree and you soon recognized it. Its branches had clusters that were full of some beautiful fruits that reminded you of blueberries that used to exist on Earth, before they went extinct.
"Here. Do you recognize this tree? I've seen you look at it so many times. Were you wondering if the yovo fruits are safe to eat?"
"Yeah." You smiled bashfully "They look delicious."
"And they are. They're safe to eat, yawne. We can eat some now, if you want to." Neteyam smiled kindly at you. The fact that he remembered small details about you made your heart melt. 
"I'd love that, Teyam."
Neteyam smiled, unbelieving.
"What did you call me?"
"Teyam…?" You furrowed your eyebrows "It's just a nickname I came up with for you… Do you hate it?" You contorted your features in a way that showed him you were feeling slightly insecure and embarrassed 
"No! I love it, yawntutsyìp! I love it." He smiled and chuckled "I just wasn't expecting it. I love that my muntxate is calling me by a special nickname. Feels intimate." Neteyam came closer to you and held your face with both his beautiful strong blue hands
You looked up at his face with doe eyes and waited as you knew what was coming. You could feel it. The sneaky butterflies started flying inside your belly again.
Neteyam kissed you slowly, crushing his soft wet lips against yours. He pressed his lips on your mouth again and again for a short amount of time but it was enough to make your legs feel weak.
"Come, oeyä muntxate. I'll help you climb the tree."
Neteyam did as he said and soon enough you both were sitting on the wooden "floor" of the tree, sharing yovo fruits and eating them.
You two started to chill and talk about everyday life. It felt so good. It felt familiar, just like any relationship you had had before with a human guy, but better. So much better. Your alien boyfriend - mate? It felt so weird to say it like that… - made you feel things that none of your ex human boyfriends could ever dream to do. Neteyam made you feel understood. He did not judge you. He made you feel at home. Neteyam was becoming home for you.
You started to tell him how sad and done with everything you sometimes felt. Well, not sometimes… It happened all the time, even though it got better now that Neteyam was in your life. But you did not want to make him worry about you.
"You know, sometimes I feel like that too."
"What do you mean?" You questioned
"Like there's so much chaos inside that I just wanna talk to someone and vent. But I'm always so busy. There never seems to be time to find someone to do that with."
You were slightly surprised. 
"Yeah, me too. Always too busy." You sighed "And exhausted, to be honest. Both physically and mentally."
"Well, I do have way more stamina than humans do" You laughed at Neteyam's teasing "But some nights I come home from training and after taking care of my siblings, really, really tired too. And I don't mean only physically."
"We have some stuff in common, don't we?" You pointed out, smiling
"We certainly do." He smiled back
You felt good knowing that.
Neteyam laid on the floor, right by your side.
"I'm full" He let out a laugh that sounded lovely in your ears while stroking his stomach.
"Me too." You laid on the floor too, just like Neteyam had just done. Your belly felt pleasantly filled up "But these fruits are so good I'd still eat a dozen of them." You playfully said, laughing
"Do you want more? I can get you some more." Neteyam gently offered
"No, it's okay, Teyam. I'm good for now." You smiled at him
Neteyam smiled back, showing no teeth, a soft, enamored look in his feline amber eyes.
You two spent some time together in comfortable silence.
"Oeyä muntxate?"
"Yeah?" You looked at him and let out a relaxed sigh, smiling softly
"Oel ngati kameie." He said, with vulnerable sincerity in his eyes
It seemed like he was gazing inside your very soul. Like his golden eyes could see something in you nobody else could. Like he saw who you truly were. Like Neteyam saw the good and bad and the ugly and the greatness and the doubts and the fears and the uniqueness and the ordinary parts of you, like he saw all of you, and it did not scare him off to see your dark side. You could feel he was staying for both your virtues and your vices. And maybe that's what "Oel ngati kameie" meant, when said to the one you're choosing to be your mate. Means connecting to someone in a raw, deep way, a way that nobody else is able to. A way that allows you to see the other person's flaws but not be afraid of them and try to find a way out. A way that allows you to see the grace in every little detail that that other soul has, to see the beauty in them that they themselves could never see.
"Oel ngati kameie…" You finally said, smiling, still not believing he had said those words to you
Neteyam smiled brightly while gazing into your eyes. He always looked deep inside your eyes… It felt almost too much but it still had just the right amount of intensity for it to be deliciously alluring instead of overwhelming.
Neteyam took your hand and intertwined your fingers on his. You felt the touch of his warm hand burning your skin in a pleasant way. After a few seconds, he kissed the back of your hand tenderly. You kept staring at both your hands glued together for a while.
"I wanna cuddle with you, oeyä muntxate." His voice brought your attention back to his face.
You could hear nervousness and need in his tone.
"Sure, yawne."
You were starting to really like calling Neteyam by na'vi pet names. The na'vi language was incredibly pleasing to the ears, in your opinion.
Neteyam started moving your body carefully, so you could lay on your side and when you obeyed, laying in said position, he himself laid on his side and pulled you in, making your body be as close to his as he could, your ass against his clothed member. 
Your lungs started to do a poor job at helping you breathe now that the both of you were so close. You got nervous as you two had, yes, cuddled before, when you were in your human body, but he was never behind you like that, his body glued to yours. You knew he could feel your ass on his cock. Your heart was beating at the speed of light.
It did not take long for you to start to feel Neteyam was now fully erect, his cock pressed against your ass. You felt the inner walls of your pussy start to twitch and you got all wet, your juices spreading over your panties. Neteyam was so big and thick and your body responded like crazy to him.
It was a violent, invincible desire that made Neteyam cling so much to you, all the time. It would burn his insides, making him yearn for you, for your touch, for your warmth. There was no rational explanation inside his head for it. Neteyam could not understand it, he could only feel it covering all his being, exuding from his eyes whenever he looked at you, touched you, kissed you… He knew you could tell how much he was thirsty for you almost all the time. But Neteyam did not care about being so vulnerable. He wanted you to know what you did to him. Maybe like that you would surrender sooner and give yourself to him completely already. He felt so impatient. Everyday it was getting harder and harder for him to not take you in his arms and mate with you. This wait was killing him, day by day. It was like a slow and agonizing death. And now that he could smell your sweet juices so vividly, he felt like he could no longer hold back.
Neteyam pushed you even closer to him. You whimpered softly, the feeling of his huge, girthy cock pressed against your butt was divine.
Neteyam got you crazily wet just so quickly that it never failed to surprise you. He was like quicksand to you; you could try and run as much as you wanted but you would always end up being swallowed by his love.
"I need you so much, muntxate…" He cried out softly in your ear while rubbing his hard cock on your ass. "You're all wet for me. You smell so good, it's intoxicating." He sniffed the air, savoring your natural scent just like it was the most mouthwatering thing he had ever felt filling his sensitive nostrils "Please, lemme make you mine completely, my sweet yawne. Please…"
༊⁀➷
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copperbadge · 2 years
Text
Having ADHD and Being A Little Punk Rock
So....a huge amount of the discourse on Tumblr around neurodiversity generally is just venting. Which is good, it’s good to vent and Tumblr is a good place for it. And I know that often, when venting, the LAST thing you want to hear is someone trying to offer help or solutions. So generally I keep my mouth shut unless someone is speaking to me specifically. 
But a while back I saw someone asking (rhetorically) about what people with ADHD wish their parents had known, and I had a lot of thoughts about that which I started jotting down. Reading the various ADHD tags, I also see a lot of teens and twentysomethings with ADHD who visibly have no coping mechanisms and no way of creating them. I don’t blame the kids, and it’s not some kind of personal failing on their part; they’re young, and nobody has taught them. But I look at them and I think, A little sideways thinking would help you out so much. Then, recently, I got an ask (thank you for the permission not to respond directly) that was full of feelings about not being able to process or communicate well, and feeling a lot of negative emotions because of it. 
So, maybe it’s time to just throw this out there. I want to offer some advice as Fandom Dad with forty-three years of being neurodiverse and exactly seven months of actually being aware I was neurodiverse. Which for once is actually going to be pretty helpful! Because I looked at the world and I assumed my own neurotypicality and I thought, well, okay, but fuck all that.
Allow me to explain.  
I think this can apply to a number of ways in which people are neurodiverse, but I have ADHD so that’s what I’m really speaking to here. With ADHD, there’s medication, and I strongly urge people to explore that option because medication is awesome when it works. But there’s also a lot out there about how to try harder, or trick yourself into doing something in a very neurotypical way, or use systems that may not work for you. I know; I tried some too, and the sense of failure, the sense of being an ongoing failure, is terrible. So I want to offer an alternative which has helped me a great deal, and may help other people with ADHD, particularly younger people. 
People of any age, but especially young people who have ADHD, should be made aware that it’s okay to suck at things, to struggle, and to fail. Even if you think you should be good at something, even if everyone around you thinks so too, it’s okay to just be garbage at it and to acknowledge that fact. But just saying “well I’m dumb and can’t do this” of course isn’t actually helpful, and harms you a great deal, because you are a living person with feelings and if you’re self-aware enough to notice, you’re also too smart to be calling yourself dumb. Acknowledging that you’re bad at something, and even acknowledging that you’d like to succeed at it, is only part one of figuring life out.
Part two is deciding what to do about it, and more importantly, how. 
I was always told I was smart, but I was told “You’re smart so you should be able to do this”, not “You’re smart, so let’s come up with a way around this.” I don’t think many people are encouraged to explore why they are bad at something, to understand their own brains and thought processes which cause them to struggle.
Decades before I knew I had ADHD, I had to figure out that one of life’s most important skills is not being able to creatively solve problems but to recognize when you have to. Anyone can sit around and come up with three or four ways to solve a problem, but it’s not actually often taught that you should also be aware of when this is needed. Often, when faced with a problem that is difficult to solve, we’re taught that our reaction should be the socially approved “I just need to try harder”. Sometimes that’s true, but usually it’s not.  
More often, when we feel that instinct, especially as people with ADHD, we should say instead, “I’m not going to try harder, that’s bullshit. I’m trying already. I’m going to find another way to solve this problem.” Trying harder doesn’t work, after all, when your own brain is fighting you.
So you stop and think, if there were no rules to the world, how could I do this? You don’t have to work smarter; a lot of my solutions could reasonably be described as “work dumber”. The point is to work differently in a way that helps you specifically. 
Stop trying to remember to take your keys when you leave the house and get a lanyard and hang them on the doorknob; if you lose them a lot, hang the lanyard around your neck when you leave the house. 
Stop pretending you’ll remember to scoop the litterbox every night and set an alarm that tells you to do it. Or don’t, that works for me but might not for you! Maybe you have to put the litterbox somewhere you’ll see it right before bed (I ALSO do this for the days I turn off the alarm and then promptly forget it happened). 
There are phone charging cords in every room of my home so that I never run down my phone battery, something that is mildly inconvenient to have happen but deeply anxiety-inducing to think about for me. And now I never worry.
The point is, don’t ask how you can do better at something, ask how you can make something easier for you.
Even rewiring your brain to ask the question is a learned skill, though. You have to consciously stop when you find something is fighting you and consciously think, how can this be easier for my specific brain? If we assume I am not stupid but am in fact fighting an invisible monster, how do I make the monster visible? 
Life became roughly 60% easier for me when I started thinking this way. Of all the tips for time management and list making and organizing and de-organizing you can try and implement, none of that is necessary if you know how to ask yourself, “How do I do this differently?” and come up with alternatives that suit your brain. 
Especially with neurodivergence, there’s no “one size fits all” when it comes to handling it, neurologically or emotionally. So I think that it’s important to be a little bit punk rock. Not necessarily in the way of defying authority but in the way of defying convention -- the ability to say “fuck you” to the Way Things Are Done and do one’s own thing is very liberating and healthy. You lose a lot of the benefits of creative problem solving if you’re also ashamed of the solutions. So I think the best trick I know of to succeed despite unmedicated ADHD is just to say “fuck you, there must be an easier way to do this.” 
I’m garbage at cleaning my home (I can say that because I’m not only calling myself garbage, I’m using “I’m bad at this” as a stepping stone to solving the problem, and then I no longer feel like garbage and can joke about it with a healthy ego). I vacuum regularly and do the dishes and such but like...I don’t scrub the floors or dust or wash out the bathtub. That’s part of why I do November Cleaning -- so that at least once a year those things, that I never want to do but always think I should do, get done, but only have to be done once and at a specific designated time. So now if the bathroom floor is a bit grimy in the corners I just think, “Ah -- that’s for November” and add it to my November Cleaning list. 
For my friend who struggles with communication, which is something I also used to really struggle with (and still do in some ways), one of my “make stuff easier” techniques for this was simply to...tell people.
“Hey, I tend to talk really fast when I get excited, so please tell me if I need to slow down.” 
“Sorry, I have some hearing issues, I may ask you to repeat something -- it’s fine just to do it slower, I don’t need louder.” 
“I’m upset and struggling, I need a minute.” (or even just “Hey where’s the bathroom?” so you can sit quietly for a moment and gather your thoughts. If you’re too upset to talk, it also helps to type them out, which I often do.) 
If someone tells me something I want to remember, I’ll get out my phone and say “Sorry, I’m still listening, but I want to write that down so I won’t forget it.” I do all my writing-things-down in Google Tasks, then once I’m somewhere quiet and private I review the notes and move stuff that isn’t actually “to do” to another list. Sometimes I’ll tell someone “I’m so sorry, you just said something and I totally missed it, but it’s important to me -- can you repeat it?” 
Most people find that kind of honesty, where you’re open about why you’re maybe talking at cross-purposes, really charming. It indicates that you think they are important, and you’re putting in effort to hear what they’re saying and respond to it thoughtfully.  
I hope this is helpful in finding ways around some basic problems, rather than through them -- that being able to stop and think “This could be easier -- how?” is something that people can internalize and make use of. Going around a mountain rather than through it might look like it’ll take more time and energy, but it beats trying to punch through granite the whole way there. 
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anonymous-dentist · 9 months
Text
It’s two in the morning, Cellbit is sulking his way back home from yet another attempt at the Federation’s air vent system, and it’s snowing. Christmas is in a week and a half; Richarlyson’s present, a pack of those fancy art markers that cost twice what Cellbit makes in an hour, is in Cellbit’s backpack nestled between a packet of stolen documents and a handgun. He’s tired, he wants to go home, and-
“Stop.”
It’s quiet, a hoarse whisper from a nearby dark shady alley. But Cellbit stops because it’s a kid.
Dying, he hears. Cucurucho, dyingdyingdyingdying-
Cautiously, he looks around. Empty streets, snow piling up in inches. Fucking cold, ice flying in the air. It’s gonna be a nasty storm, so he should really be getting home. But-
But it smells like blood.
So Cellbit hikes his bag up on his shoulder and steps out of the storm and into the alley, and he almost steps on a tiny dying hero.
“Oh,” he softly says, his body losing all its tension as he takes the kid’s broken appearance in. “Hello.”
The kid glares up at him. He’s… small. Just a bit bigger than Richarlyson, maybe. Standard Junior Hero uniform, mask over his eyes and nose, and a lot of blood.
“Stop staring,” the kid huffs. His teeth are chattering, and his lips are blue from the cold. “Just call the Feds for me.”
“Oh, sure,” Cellbit lies. He shuffles to the kid’s side to try and block out the worst of the wind, and then he crouches just a little, just enough to try and see what the damage is. But the kid scowls and curls in on himself, wincing as he moves.
Ribs, then. Cellbit recognizes that flinch, he’s seen it on enough of his victims.
Wounds are fresh, fresh enough for the kid to still be alive, anyway. Torso wounds suck. Easy to give, harder to make lethal.
Cellbit sighs and pulls out his phone. “Which one are you?”
He doesn’t have the Federation’s app downloaded (because fuck that), so he texts Forever instead; he’s the mayor, he’s gotta have some kind of Federation of Heroes Hotline going on. He’s probably awake. If not, well. Maybe the police can actually do something useful for once.
The kid’s chest puffs out despite the pain, and he says, “I’m Thorn, duh.”
He’s a child, that’s what he is. And he’s a fucking terrified one- Cellbit doesn’t need to use his ability to feel the fear coming off of him in waves. Because he’s a little boy who probably hasn’t seen his parents in years and he’s all alone in a storm dying and the villain who did this to him is still out there waiting.
Forever texts back: ‘🤬🤬🤬’
So he’s told the Feds, who probably have an evac team on the way. Because this is the leader of the most recent Junior Hero graduating class, and it’d be bad PR to let him die alone in a ditch somewhere in the city.
But, well… he’s a kid.
So Cellbit slides his phone back into his pocket and presses the back of his hand against Thorn’s cheek. Thorn hisses- fucking hisses- and tries to scoot away, but he can’t get too far with whatever injuries he’s got.
“Calma,” Cellbit says, letting his ability do its work, “I’m just checking for a fever. My son gets them all the time, I know exactly what I’m looking for.”
And, yeah, Thorn’s feverish. More importantly, though, he’s calm. His heartbeat evens out, and so does his breathing.
Thorn stares up at Cellbit in shock. “You’re a dad? No way!”
What the fuck?
“Of course I’m a dad!” Cellbit protests. “Look at me!”
He drops his hand from Thorn’s face and gestures towards his t-shirt, hand-painted by Richarlyson and reading, “World’s Okayest Dad”.
Thorn is not impressed. “You look homeless.”
And technically Cellbit is, but he isn’t just going to say that! Not to someone who’s technically his enemy.
So he huffs and crosses his arms and plays at being dramatic. (He’s got plenty of experience after dealing with Forever for so long.)
“Whatever,” he sulks. “You’re the one in a stinky alley. At least I have a shower.”
The kid’s lips twitch into a very hesitant little smile. Mission accomplished.
“Yeah, but you don’t use it,” he counters.
It’s a shame Richarlyson hates the Federation almost as much as he hates showers, because he and Thorn would probably get along pretty well. (Maybe Forever can set up a play date…)
Cellbit makes a show of smelling his jacket- clean, freshly washed. He makes a face, anyway, and Thorn giggles, and it’s kinda hard to hate the enemy when they’re made up of literal children.
“I never said I do my laundry,” Cellbit sniffs. “Do I look like I have that kind of money?”
“No!”
“Hey!”
The kid laughs, head thrown back. And then he grimaces and doubles over, eyes briefly squeezing shut.
Cellbit takes another look around the alley. Nobody’s there but the two of them, which makes sense. What kind of villain would stick around after supposedly killing the Federation’s Junior Hero poster child?
With a sigh, he settles down into the snow next to Thorn with his back against the chilly wall.
“You called them, right?” Thorn asks.
“I did better than that. I texted the mayor.”
Thorn snorts. “The mayor doesn’t have any friends, pendejo. He’s too busy being the mayor.”
Ouch.
“I’ll be sure to tell him you said that.”
“Tell him that I’m gonna beat him up, too.”
“What?” Cellbit gasps exaggeratedly. “Why would you want to do that? He’s the mayor.”
“He’s stupid. He wants to put the Junior Hero Program into schools so all the babies can join it.”
Thorn frowns. He’s not scared, Cellbit made sure of that, but he’s worried. A bit different, and unfortunately out of Cellbit’s wheelhouse.
“My son wants to join,” he says.
Thorn shakes his head. “Well, get him out of it. It’s not worth it, man. Too much homework.”
“I thought you were gonna tell me it’s too dangerous.”
“Nah, it’s pretty chill.” (Now that’s a lie.) “I spend most of my time doing paperwork.”
Cellbit frowns sympathetically. “Yuck.”
Thorn sticks his tongue out. “Yuck.”
And it keeps snowing. The colder it gets, the closer Thorn gets until he’s pressed up against Cellbit’s arm shivering. Hesitantly, slowly, Cellbit puts that arm around Thorn’s shoulders and lets him try and huddle for warmth as best he can.
“You’re a weirdo,” Thorn mutters.
“I’ve met weirder.”
“Nuh-uh.”
Cellbit rolls his eyes. Yeah, he and Richarlyson would be very good friends.
It’s quiet, and then:
“Can you make me scared again?”
Cellbit’s heart stops. “What?”
Thorn turns his head to give him an unimpressed look. “I’m not stupid. I won’t tell anybody, but it’d be weird if they show up and I’m super chill, you know?”
“But-”
“I’m a hero, man. Nothing scares me.”
He’s also a child.
Cellbit gives him back his fear, anyway, this time with a simple worried head-pat. Thorn grumbles and leans away from the touch, but he got what he wanted.
Cucurucho, Cellbit hears, and, for once, he agrees.
Tires from down the road. That’ll be the Feds.
“You’re a brave kid,” he says. He squeezes Thorn’s shoulder with an assuring smile. “Stay safe, okay?”
He stands, and he helps Thorn up as well.
“Whatever,” Thorn grunts. He swallows the pain and stands up straight and tall as the Federation’s van pulls in front of the alley and slows to a halt.
Cellbit watches Thorn get helped into the van, and he watches the van drive away, and he stands there in that alleyway until he’s cold enough to become a Cellbicicle.
Then, and only then, he looks down at the single red rose poking out of the snow where the kid had been sitting.
(Rumor has it Thorn only grows roses in honor of his parents, reportedly both deceased. Cellbit doesn’t know if that’s true or not, but he leaves the rose be, anyway.)
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dyemelikeasunset · 7 months
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I can't sleep so I'm venting. for the most part i love my d&m readers, but oml sometimes i get qpoc blues so bad 😭😭
It's just liiiike. ppl either don't talk about Mor or completely misinterpret her personality. Like I can always tell if my readers are black or not because nonblack readers no NOT see Mor's significance, or just miss the mark when they talk about her, or they misread her personality. Like I don't understand what's so hard to understand about a cute and thoughtful artist??
AND LIKE LMAO Dom's sexuality gets brought up all the time but no one talks about Mor being a lesbian and how rare that is to find in media 😭 white lesbians are always talking about "we need more open lesbians in media!! ppl shouldn't be afraid to use the word lesbian!! blah blah" and i'm like "here you go!!" and no one claps at all lmao. Like I get it, i know why it happens, i understand racial microaggressions, i know how fandom spaces treat Black women, I UNDERSTAND BUT I CAN STILL BE UPSET. I have the right to be upset about it!!! 💀💀 And I know fem lesbians get ignored all the time, invalidated all the time, but it just sucks to see it happen to my character. I just feel like her being lesbian doesn't clock a lot of people, and I get asked to do more thirst trap art of Mor and I do want to but i'm also trying to be careful about like. Idk reducing a dark skinned fem lesbian to being validated only thru being sexy? LMAO.... Mor should be able to be attractive and lovable without tons and tons of thirst trap art (and it's not like I don't do it at all!! I'm not trying to be overprotective or deny her sexiness but I guess it's considered not enough?? give me a break)
And mannnn I was so mad actually that several comments voiced thoughts that essentially said Mor didn't "help" or "take care" of Dom enough, and that when Dom was finally opening up to her it was "Morgan finally doing something" LIKE HELLO??? HELLO??? It's DOM'S flaw that she can't open up? And Morgan does a lot??? I know immature ppl do not appreciate more soft and domestic/feminine forms of care bc they're used to taking their mothers for granted lmao but wooow I was taken aback. First of all, like, I try to show that Mor is the main cook, works just as much as Dom (let's go double income household), is always checking in on Dom's comfort as she navigates being queer, and is overall a very considerate girlfriend. AND SECOND OF ALL LMAO like even if she didn't do all that she doesn't need to have relationship currency to have a doting girlfriend, like the fucking trope of black women needing to suffer for love is so terrible I'VE HAD ENOUGH AND i"M NOT EVEN BLACK. Like there is NOTHING WRONG with their typical dynamic and I'm sick of people acting like there is. SOMEONE SAID DOM WAS LIKE A COMFORT PILLOW W NO AGENCY AND i"M LIKE WTFDYM???? She has TONS of agency and her sense of agency says she wants to LOVE AND DOTE ON HER PARTNER LIKE LMAO. WHAT?? Why is that hard to understand??? Is it because I made one (1) joke bout Mor being a pillow princess and the anti-princess squad are grinding their teeth in the bushes seething over it? Ppl are so twisted sometimes oh my goddddd. Like as an ace who was very confused navigating the lesbian dating scene as a teen and young adult I WISH i had met a pillow princess. Sometimes ppl don't realize that stone dynamics are very safe for aces!! Dom literally says she prefers it!! It's not Mor being selfish like lord please GOD ALLAH I'M TIRED I'M SO TIRED
and like on the topic of Domi overall she is more "popular" but sometimes I feel like people don't even really take the time to appreciate the significance about her either. She's not just a funny thirst trap 😭 and I feel like ppl dont acknowledge that she's asian half the time. I have so many white aces who only zone in on that aspect of her and it's like YEAH I GET IT, I'm ace and we don't have a lot of nuanced rep but she's also got more layers than that too. Tons of people related to her in the chapters where she talks about her childhood abuse yet very few people really, like, talked about the type of generational trauma that is very deeply embedded in her different cultures, no one saw that and oooof idk idk it felt inivisible. It's sometimes harder to talk about the racist microaggressions that Domi experiences thru my readers bc ppl will argue "well most webtoon leads are asian" but not many of them are asian in a way that like. talk about it. I'm born in the US so my experiences with being othered as an asian is just gonna be different and it's gonna affect my art and writing but it feels so unappreciated. I've had some queer asians relate to her but i can count them on my hand 💀 (I actually think it's two LMAO i"M SO SAD)
And going back to Dom and the comfort pillow w no agency comment lmao. This is another thing that rubs me the wrong way is once again, people are ignorant to the ways asians get pigeon-holed to media roles that have us being depicted as incapable. Maybe I want Dom to be more of a protector archetype bc I'm tired of meek Asian women in media? 🤔 Maybe I want Dom to be a prince-like character because asians get emasculated a lot?? 🤔🤔 Maybe I want Domi to maintain her prince persona instead of being "'physically' androgynous/masculine but really soft and girly on the inside uwuwu please treat me like a 'real' girl" because even in east asian media we won't allow women to exhibit strength and dependability??? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 Like why is a tough girl empowering but once we have a gentle and doting personality in a romance it's considered cliche and the flaw of her partner for being "too weak." MAYBE THEIR PRINCE/PRINCESS DYNAMIC COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER??? HAVE YOU CONSIDERED? I WROTE THEM THAT WAY FOR A REASON??
Good lord this turned into an essay but I have so many things on my mind always
if you read this all. Thanks. I mainly needed to scream into a towel and put this down somewhere bc I complain about these issues to my discord and they understand/validate me all the time, but I wanna give them a break 😭 I also lowkey wanna document my various feelings as I work through Dom & Mor so I can remember and also grow from it
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jingyuanswallet · 1 month
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Hihi umm now please don't take this as me excusing these people's actions because I completely agree, it is fucking gross and weird, however alot of people aho write this sort of stuff write it because they are unable to get professional help.
Unfortunately stuff like therapy can cost a shit ton of money and alot of people can't afford it, so they turn to social media to vent their feelings out.
Again I'm not trying to encourage these actions! If they need a way to vent their intrusive thoughts they could at least do it in their notes app where no one can see that stuff.. I just wanna let you know why some of these people write that shit and telling people to get help usually isn't helpful. (As someone who is regularly told to get help)
oh no! i totally understand people need to vent and rant and how therapists say stuff like "journal, it might help!" but that does not mean have people who do have issues like this to post it on a public setting. Posting things like that CAN and WILL have an affect on other people and can even have them relapse ESPECIALLY without the right tags ykwim? people dont come onto tumblr using a tag like jingyuan x reader to then see dad!jingyuan x daughter!reader. if you DO wanna make something like that, go onto Ao3 or Twitter because its EXCEPTED to be there yk? plus you have a lot more free will on those apps to make sure people who use world wide mostly normal content tags to not see fucked up shit like that. writing things like that can put others at risk and danger and what they're doing is just getting validation and being selfish. her case is NOT like other peoples cases so its hard to compare as hers is far worse considering shes writing those fan fictions because she has those feelings for her blood relative brother. which is scary and concerning, and her brother may be in danger because of it. yk? Also yes, she should 100% be doing this in notes app, its really sad how these things are being normalized and able to have literal children be exposed to things like that..which btw guys a child is not going to know that whatever they see in writing is not gonna be okay irl. its a child compared to an adult, and im talking abt 13+ kids not 17+. kids are going to thinks thats okay, especially by the comments and requests.
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