#i dunno. it's like how my mom is in the last generation of people to have polio. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cloudsspoke · 1 year

Photo

Though the final match between Argentina versus France has been dubbed by the majority of people as the best World Cup Final, personally this is the best match throughout World Cup 2022, or more like, the most unforgettable one.

The altercation between players started after what Lea did to the Dutch’s bench. Things escalated quickly from that moment. It got worse because Lahoz gave them 10mins additional times and once it ended, the 2nd brawl happened almost instantly.

Dunno what the hell is wrong with that Bergwijn guy 💀🤬.

It’s a good thing Ota came right on time. It looks as if he noticed Bergwijn’s movement and Ota used his body as armor to protect his teammate from violent Bergwijn. We never know which player Bergwijn intended to hurt when he suddenly marched into the players’ mob like that (there’s Macca and Lea right there, Bergwijn proly wanted to hurt them).

This post is solely to capture the fight scenes, for the penalty shoot-out scenes read here.

The game ended after Lautaro successfully converted his penalty kick. The Dutch players got to see El General do this ‘Roman’ celebration right in front of their faces.

But the next fight happened exactly after that. Well, actually there are 2 fights happened at the same time.

Scene #1 was when Lahoz gave Dumpfries red card and Dybala was seen happily mocking Dumpfries. His mouth and his gesture showed that he told Dumpfries to go home. Dumpfries fumed and marched to probably kill Dybala, but Tagliafico shielded Dumpfries from doing that.

can someone tell me what Papu posted on his Instagram story that day 🤔?

Meanwhile, the other scene involved Noa Lang who pushed Paredes and Papu who pushed Lang back.

From this angle we can see how Tagliafico held Dumpfries off with all his might.

It’s a never-ending drama that we saw one after another. And again, in between Argies’ celebration, Messi came to Van Gaal and this whole thing happened:

I know we should respect the elder, with Van Gaal being the senior coach and all that, but at this moment, somos todos Rodrigo De Paul. I can imagine De Paul proly said: “Ay, señor this is what happens if you talk too much about us. See, now you make Leo angry. Jajaja~ Enjoy your exit, señor. Chao~”

And while Rodri loved every second of provoking Van Gaal, our Angelito came to pull Messi away from the altercation. He’s our MOM, okay? Fide is truly the MOTHER ANGEL 👼 of this chaotic group. First, he protected Enzo from Dumpfries, then protected Enzo from hearing DIbu’s cursing, and at last, when everyone tried to calm the shit out of Leo with no success, somehow as soon after Fide stepped in, just like that the altercation ended.

And of course, being such an Angel as he was, Fide took a moment to hug Frans Hoek 👼❤️♥️(The Dutch’s GK coach, who used to work with both Van Gaal and Fide in United)

Not only did Messi pay a ‘friendly’ visit to The Dutch’s bench, but our beloved Dibu too, this time we all could hear his direct message clearly.

Impressive.

My favorite moment?

It’s when Dibu joined his teammate’s celebration and half-joking cursed Enzo for his failed penalty attempt. Di Maria stood there watching that moment smiling, but he saved Enzo from Dibu’s wrath when Di Maria pulled Dibu into a hug, gave Enzo an exit to escape from Dibu.

***

Talk about La Scaloneta destined to be World Cup champion cuz it’s been written in the stars, there are 2 things I found that are interesting from this match against Nederland.

First, when Lahoz yellow-carded Gonza for protesting just 3 minutes after Gonza came to the pitch to replace Molina. That yellow card banned Gonza from playing in the next game, in case the Argies advanced to the Semifinal round. But that didn’t stop him from executing the penalty kick.

With his success, along with Leo’s, Lea’s, and Lautaro’s, La Scaloneta did advance to the next round, where they won easily against Croatia, and Gonza was benched without major problems. Meanwhile, during Argies’ last, final game against France when the victory had to be determined through a penalty shoot-out, we got him ready, unpunished, and he did his job well once again.

And then we have Dybala 💎. People have been asking and waiting for when he will play. His chance came to light with Argentina’s victory over Nederland. Fun fact, his first-ever World Cup debut was in 2018, the same game against Croatia when he came to sub Tevez, only this time the Argies won 3-0 and advanced to the final.

And as we all know, in the Final match Scaloni put him in to prepare La Joya to take part in the penalty shoot-out. He didn’t waste that chance. He helped Argies to get the World Cup trophy, despite only playing for no less than 20mins throughout the whole tournament.

The reason why I mentioned Dybala in this post is because of what he revealed later that he remembered what Dibu said to Enzo: "kick the ball to the center". I can say that Enzo’s failure during the match against Nederland somehow helped La Joya to convert his kick successfully.

***

If you think the drama between Argentina players and The Dutch ended on the field, nope. It continued even during the post-match interview session.

Dibu, they hear you: Lahoz announced retirement and Van Gaal too.

🇦🇷✨🏆

205 notes · View notes

system-of-a-feather · 4 months

Text

Man finally got around to watching the "Mr. Monk's Last Case" that I've been meaning to watch since it came out and I always forget just how relatable Monk is to me and how it really just hits home a bit too much how Monk lives and views himself

Like I'm sure a lot of people read the show like its a "haha OCD so funny" gag and I know some people get really mad because "OCD is treated like the butt end of the joke and no one with OCD is actually like that" but it really never felt that way to me as someone who has OCD - particularly because I cope with it the same way.

I totally understand the people that do not relate to it, OCD has a wide way of presentation and an even wider way of coping with it and that is not taking into account co-morbidities, the one in particularly that I think is most important when judging Monk - is C-PTSD and the MAIN one, while not directly mentioned, autism.

Cause the way they DO handle Monk's mental health, both in the original series (which I've watched at least 5 times over in my life) and the newest movie, while silly and haha at times, has always been so realistically done to me that it unironically is the only show or series or movie or game that had nearly made me physically cry because when it DOES get real into Monk's mental health, it gets pretty real, arguably too real.

I think if you are to talk about it as JUST OCD and treat this as "media representation of the average individual with OCD", people are right to say that its not good because I agree, Monk isn't the average individual with OCD and it does play into harmful stereotypes and generalizations of OCD. Monk is advertised as that a lot, so that advertising I disagree with. But if you actually watch the show, the show does little to hide that he has co-morbidity with PTSD / C-PTSD and while they don't outright say it, he is obviously autistic.

And as someone who's dad is has C-PTSD, Autism, and OCD and as someone who ALSO has C-PTSD, Autism, and OCD.... It's really really really fucking accurate and hits home. Something my mom, who lived with THREE people with that matching set of co-morbidities, loves and agrees is super relatable to how it was like living in our house.

And that is where it really gets me when people say "its a bad representation of OCD! OCD doesn't looks like that" cause... yeah it does, for at least three people I know with OCD. Are we a specific minority within the group of OCD? Probably, but we still have OCD.

I dunno man, episodes with Monk's mental health being talked about gets me in ways few things do and I will die on the hill that Monk's shit is very well done and accurate albeit to a specific subset of people with OCD.

And also on the point of it "being the butt of the joke"...

For me, my OCD and literally all my mental health conditions are often used as the butt end of the joke. And I'm not saying that people are wrong for being upset, but chronic mental illness symptoms after you get really used to them and adapt your life to them and just embrace your unique way of living.... it's kind of hard to not find a lot of the quirks in light humor?

Like my fiance always said it about his year with severe Chrons "at a certain point when you are in the hospital having shit come out both ends, you just have to laugh at it cause thats funny shit right there."

I don't think I would have survived recovery with any of my mental health disorders if I didn't take some of the quirks that came out of my adapted life style to be funny and love them anyways.

As long as there is a balance between "this is a serious thing that gets in the way of a persons life" which they DO do very well in Monk, I see very little issue at exploring the kinda funny things living with a chronic mental health condition does.

#mr. monk #mr. monk's last case #mr monk #mr monk's last case #monk tv #mental health #mental health in media #ocd #actuallyocd #actuallyautistic #ptsd #cptsd #c-ptsd

29 notes · View notes

greatcheshire · 1 year

Note

that last ask made me want to ask what made you choose the username "greatchesire"? is it a reference to something other than Alice in Wonderland I'm missing?

Ah! I believe I've explained this before but it's been a while so let me explain it again Okay, so a long time ago I needed a new online username as all my previous usernames and passwords had become part of court record and shared with my mom so that my online activity could be always monitored. I needed something specific enough that I could grab it on any site and could be distinctly me, but also generic enough that it wouldn't easily show up on Google searches unless you knew what to look for.

At the time I was writing a really shitty book called This Is All My Fault and the main character's name was Gabes Cheshire because I thought it sounded cool, I dunno, I probably took the last name from Alice in Wonderland because that was the thing for teens to do at the time. So considering how this was something only I would know, as nobody had read any of the book yet, I decided to start going by GabesCheshire online and kept that username for a while.

Then in 2018 I faced a problem - I came out as a transwoman. And that put me in a weird spot. At this point, I had an online circle and friends who knew me only as my username, and because my username started with a regular name, people would just default to calling me Gabes. Which I didn't mind, because like whatever, it's fine. But also if I'm a transwoman, the last thing I want is people continuing to call me a masculine name, even if it wasn't my actual IRL name. So I decided to do what I could to modify the name to get it to something that worked. I didn't want to change it too much, both because I was streaming at the time and didn't want people to suddenly not recognize my name and also because I didn't want to out myself to friends I hadn't yet come out to by choosing too femme a name. So I went for something that sounded and looked similar but was different enough - i changed GabesCheshire to GreatCheshire. And then I just kinda kept it like that.

The one downside is that nobody really knows how to nickname that so I had people calling me Great or GreatChesh or just Cheshire and it never felt right so when it came time to start doing videos, I changed my channel name to Lady Emily so that people would just call me Emily instead of trying to find some way to call me GreatCheshire.

Hope that answers things!

145 notes · View notes

ticklingmesoftly · 2 months

Text

15 Questions for 15 Friends! Thanks for tagging me, @greenticklerdreams!

Were you named after anyone?: Not really. My mom told me that Sissy Spacek named her daughter that and that influenced her for some reason, lol.

When was the last time you cried?: Probably like, a week ago? I don't remember, exactly.

Do you have kids?: Nope.

What sports do you play/have you played?: I played softball when I was little, and field hockey in middle school -- both of which I did because I knew people who did those things and just wanted to hang out with them, lol.

Do you use sarcasm?: Extensively!

What is the first thing you notice about people?: That's a hard question. Just... their face, in general, I'd say. Maybe their hair? Their smile? Oh, and their voice and tone. But honestly, like... I don't notice a lot of details about people, if I'm being honest. I sort of go off of their whole vibe.

What's your eye color?: Green.

Scary movies or happy endings?: I like both! But I'd say I prefer happy endings. Scary movies tend to be mostly bad, anyway.

Any talents?: Not really! Lol. Um. I'm decent at word and rhythm games. I can type and read pretty fast, I guess?

Where were you born?: Delaware! The nothing state!

What are your hobbies?: Music/singing, video games, movies/TV, looking up trivia about movies and TV, getting lost in rabbit holes on the internet, traveling and visiting new places.

Do you have any pets?: I have the sweetest, cutest, cuddliest cat in existence. Except she bit me earlier, so she's lost her cuddling privileges for a while, lol.

How tall are you?: 5'3". You can often find me trying to find creative ways to get things down from high shelves, lol.

Favorite subject in school?: English was my favorite of the basic subjects, but I liked Spanish, photography, and psychology as far as the electives I took.

Dream job?: I honestly have no idea. At this point, something that comes easily to me and where I don't have to work a lot sounds pretty great. Alternatively, maybe something with animals? (Except not a vet because I would just be crying constantly, lol.) I dunno, I feel like I'd ideally want to try out a lot of options before choosing one, just because most jobs seem very different before you actually do them, you know?

... And now I've gotta tag 15 people which is a lot. Most of you have probably already been tagged but who cares? I'm doing it again. @magnificentbitchface, @theepopcornwhore, @applesyaboi, @something-tickly-this-way-comes, @darkharp-tickling, @howlerami, @grand-tickler22, @yourfavouriteler, @avg-tummy-enjoyer, @nothing-in-partickler, @ticklingisart, @hypersensitiv3, @kink-guy95, @datstrangetickler, @yopatbo

#personal

11 notes · View notes

frankenjoly · 4 months

Text

thanks for tagging me @bunniezai @demolitionlovrsskk (don't mind being tagged twice, in fact that's how i remembered i forgot doing it the first time alsdkjf sorry) :3

1) Were you named after anyone?

claudia from interview with a vampire, bcs my mom thought she was cute in the movie (and i still haven't seen it even when i wanna, shame on me).

2) Last time you cried?

can't say for sure, but definitely not too long ago. i cry quite easily in general, and with fiction in particular.

3) Do you have children?

no, and i don't think i will.

4) Do you play sports?

i go to the gym for the dance activities or yoga, but that's pretty much it.

5) Do you use sarcasm?

yeah, when joking and so (aka when it's obvious i'm not being serious).

6) What's the first thing you notice about people?

dunno? maybe the eyes and if they seem nice.

7) What's your eye color?

greyish blue.

8) Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings all the way. i'm picky with scary movies bcs jumpscares make me anxious alsjf.

9) Talents?

i think i write good (or at least it's one of the things i'm 100% confident about myself), and i'm kinda witty when it comes to making puns.

10) Where were you born?

i'm just gonna say spain, bcs, y'know.

11) What are your hobbies?

writing (both fics and rp), reading, videogames, watching shows/movies (mainly anime nowadays bcs god bless 20 min eps).

12) Do you have any pets?

nope.

13) How tall are you?

159 cm.

14) Favorite school subject?

biology, and also liked arts.

15) Dream job?

i wanna do science, preferably. but tbh, i can make do with anything that doesn't crush me and gives money and free time to live (i'm quite good at my current one but it's not for indefinitely).

No pressure tags: @ildi-dragonheart @noirewaves @zukkaoru @llilli64 @diary-ofamadwoman @fyodorkitkat @louisjamesmoriarty

#tag game #this was fun #:3

8 notes · View notes

itcamefrombeneaththeblog · 1 month

Text

Why Do I Have To Be Depressed For You To Care? - A Longpost Journaling/Rant

Today marks my 120 pounds lost. From 400 to 280.

One of the things that makes this journey I'm on hard is that I'm totally alone in it. Most of my life I have gone through alone. In 30 years I've had maybe 6 people I'd call close friends. 2 of them betrayed me horrifically. The other 4, well, Like I love them. But we're adults. We all live far away and I rarely see them. One is a mom, one is married to the love of his life, and the other two are far away.

As far as lovers go? Well when you're 400 pounds they're non-existent. The idea of someone loving you seems as probable as mystical fey creatures. Especially when you have a job as fucked up and hard as caregiving for your grandparents who have alzheimers, which I did from age 21 to 29. Nobody wants to be in your life when you go through that. I don't blame them, I didn't want to be in my life then either.

So it shouldn't be hard for me now should it? I mean I'm a fuckin' professional at being alone now. Aren't I? Is anyone ever? I'm as healthy as I've been in yeeears. I've lost 120 pounds. And I'm sitting here, in a chair, listening to the wind softly blow my curtains next me. I can hear my neighbors, the squealing of tires. It's very lonely. I'd love to have someone be like, great job babe, or something like that. Just a celebratory kiss would probably make the last ten years of my life worth it.

But here I am alone. And I'm not so much sad, as I'm just hit by the realization that I did this for myself. This person I dislike so much, I transformed them, me, into this new person. And I originally did it so I would be more attractive. Such a silly reason, but that's the truth. I started out trying to make myself more desireable and in the end I seem to have found myself. This should be a grand revelation, but it isn't. I still feel empty.

I dunno. There's desperate lonliness within me. And that's not attractive, but I feel like I really hate how we as a race of beings have normalized not caring about the lonely souls like me.

I'm no incel. I'm not a poor sad sack or a woe is me lame asshole whose sad all the time. But this blog often finds me being very sad and talking only about things that are dark and depressing.

And that's because depressing has got me a bunch of views, people commenting, and so many people have seen my work. Depression sells. Isn't that...wrong? Why do I need to be depressed for you to care? Why am I only interesting to you when I'm suffering?

Did you know I've made a bunch of positive and health conscious posts? Probably not because nobody seems to give two shits about them. But the suicide poems, the poem about being SA'd as a child, poems about death and heartache, they do *really* well.

Why have we normalized sadness? Why is it cool in these artistic spaces to be so destitute emotionally? I don't know. Part of me thinks these are rhetorical questions that can't be answered satisfyingly. Part of me considers it to be in that misery loves company vein.

Is there a point to this? Well if you read this far I hope so, so you didn't feel like you wasted your time. I hope my writing is interesting to you. The point I want to make is that I lost 120 fucking pounds. That is staggering. I lost a whole person. I should be jumping for joy with friends or a lover.

But I'm not. It's like I've been programmed, brainwashed into feeling morose all the time because I don't have this or that, but also because being morose and sad gets me the attention I so desperately crave. How fucked is that? I've conditioned myself into a state of self-destruction.

So...I guess my ultimate point is that we need way more love in this culture, as cliche as that sounds. Because I think a lot of this isolationist jag our generations are on suck. And I'm as much to blame as anyone. We need a radical shift in mood, otherwise how are we, the dreamers, ever going to influence the chamge we want to see, if we're not willing to chamge ourselves?

I want what I want. I want someone to give a shit. Just one.

And holy goddamn, that one person is harder to find apparently than 120 pounds is to lose. That is profoundly painful.

#blog #long form content #long post #introspection #introspective #gothic #sad boy #sad #sad thoughts #happy

3 notes · View notes

artsyunderstudy · 1 year

Text

15 Questions | 15 People

Rules: Answer these 15 Questions, then Tag 15 People

Thanks for tagging me @aristocratic-otter!

1. Are you named after anyone? My mom was working in a daycare and met a little girl named Ashton and thought "that's a pretty name" and here I am. I agree, I like my name. It's unisex and people call me sir a lot over email, which I don't mind. People also call me Ashley over the phone which I ... do mind. Don't call me Ashley.

2. When was the last time you cried? I can't remember exactly, though I know it was recent. It was a little cry, I was just lost in a thought spiral.

3. Do you have kids? Not yet :(

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Yes, but mostly just when I'm in a good mood. For laughs. I don't generally use it in arguments or when expressing anything negative. I'm very very straightforward in those situations.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? I really don't know. Probably just their expressions, and clothes because I like clothes and I like to see how people choose to present themselves. Not in a judgey way, just a curious way.

6. What’s your eye color? Brown. Dark, dark brown.

7. Scary movies or happy ending? Happy endings, I don't love being scared.

8. Any special talents? I have been told I'm pretty good at art and writing. I can also sing but I hate getting ANY attention for it so usually I just sing at home, about things I'm cooking or if my husband says something weird.

9. Where were you born? Fort Worth, Texas

10. What are your hobbies? Outside of fandom?? I love travel planning. Like, travel too, but I'm particularly into the planning. I have trellos. They are magnificent.

11. Do you have any pets? Yes! 2 cats and one dog.

Pumpkin (orange tabby, grumpy, chonky, great pillow, made of trouble, loves being squished so much we call him squash, likes it rough the little weirdo, has been with me since the beginning and we are very attached to each other),

Kira (a skinny grey patchy kitty with big paws and frog eyes, very sweet and polite, will tap you on the shoulder for attention, gets right up in your face when you're eating to beg for food she's not actually interested in, will not be put off, will not give up, and likes to sleep under the covers, weirdly obsessed with my husband)

Ember (cute as fuck cattle dog mutt, probably hates us because we're low energy and she is HIGH HIGH HIGH energy, loves head and chin scratches, dangerous because she cannot contain her excitement for any humans, doesn't understand personal boundaries AT ALL and has paid the price for it a few times, she will paw and lick and jump and bork and snurf, very afraid of loud noises and locks herself in the downstairs bathroom when there are fireworks, dabs a lot, sleeps a lot, loves going to grandma's house (grandma's house!!!!), my husban and i are completely fucking obsessed with her and she's tired of hugs)

12. What sports do you play/have you played? I am very bad at sports. Very uncoordinated and asthmatic and also bored by them. I did play soccer when I was little, and danced. Terrible at both. I like putting the basketball in the hoop, could do without the running and dribbling. Ugh, running.

13. How tall are you? 5'4"

14. Favorite subject at school? English, out of the core courses. But I wasn't a good student. Way too ADD. Art was my favorite class. Art and Chorus, but those are electives so I dunno if they count.

15. Dream job? I genuinely don't want to do the stuff I love for a job. I went to school for Art, I got a DEGREE, but I work in Ed Tech as a Success Manager meaning I just make people successful and happy all day, and I love it and I'm really good at it (im a good problem solver, let me solve your problems). I guess I would have liked to be a teacher, since that's my favorite part of my job currently, but teachers get the shit end of the stick and I couldn't do it. All my love to the teachers out there.

Anyway, I don't want to get paid for art or writing, even if they are the only things I want to do with my time, because the minute I'm doing it for money and not just because I'm excited about it, I hate it.

This was the opposite of an answer to that question, wasn't it?

Tags under the cut along with pictures of my pets.

@cutestkilla @bookish-bogwitch @hushed-chorus @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @captain-aralias @shrekgogurt @erzbethluna @stitchyqueer @fatalfangirl @thehoneyedhufflepuff @messofthejess @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @moodandmist @palimpsessed @larkral

#tag game #about me

46 notes · View notes

iamthecomet · 3 days

Note

Ough, cemetery walks my beloved.

There's one that I used to take driving lessons in that was on top of a hill, and you could just cruise around for a couple hours without being bothered.

The other one, that I actually have pictures of, is this small, like, family cemetery that's actually a local landmark:

I don't have any recent pics, so this is an old one, but I'm also, like 98% sure I've talked about this place before.

Traditionally speaking, the maternal side of our family doesn't do burials, at least not in the last, like, I guess three generations, maybe four, now, so we don't even really have grave plots (Mom is still in an urn upstairs actually), whereas my dad's side does, but we typically don't have displayed grave markers like headstones or decorations even.

I dunno how to explain why my dad's side doesn't go for headstones other than that that side doesn't like, uh, post mortem adornments? My grandmother actually forbade the idea of having even a flagstone marker for her gravesite.

With my mom's side, though, it's more of a matter of the "soul being trapped", but I think it also helps our family, which has, historically, lead a very mobile life (housing instability, work related moves, being kicked out of an entire country for... reasons... etc) to not feel guilty when leaving our dead behind.

So cemeteries and graveyards are interesting to me personally, because the lengths other families go to to preserve the memories of their loved ones in the way they decorate their gravesites/the existence of them to begin with.

Oh that cemetery looks so lovely and peaceful! Cemeteries really are one of my favorite places, maybe that's weird. I love to learn about people's death traditions. Every family is so different--and sometimes, like you, you end up stuck between two sides that are sort of oppositional. And it certaintly makes your relationship with cemeteries that much more interesting. I've been in three cemeteries in the last day. One, for an actual funeral. The other two just for a walk. There is something magical about them. Peaceful and mournful and sacred, but not in the religious sense. I also love history. And I love that something of all of these people persists. The old cemetery in my town is 1700s old, and there is something so human about being able to stand in front of 200 year old peice of marble and be able to know someone's name who lived that long ago. To be able to visit the grave of the guy who built the house I grew up in. It's special in a way I can't explain well. Two of the cemeteries I was in in the last two days have people I was close with buried there. And whenever I go for a walk in the one that's right near my house, I have people I have to visit. Even if it's just to brush the grass clippings off of their stone, or untangle their windchime. It doesn't feel sad to do it either. It just feels like ritual. Like it's important to me do what I can to take care of them. Because there is love between us that has nowhere else to go. Genuinely, cemeteries are so so so important to me. Because they are peaceful and because they are beautiful, and because they are so undeniably human. And it is so strange and wonderful and sad to see lives marked by stone. Little monuments that say I was here. I was real. There's a little girl, who died in the 1800s. Whose stone I pass every time I walk through the old cemetery. Her name is Josephine. I have this really strange fondness for her that I cannot explain. But every year forget-me-nots bloom on her grave and it makes my heart hurt in the best way. I just really really love cemeteries and I'm glad you also find them interesting and also love cemetery walks. People think I'm crazy, but they are genuinely some of my favorite places.

#comet comments #lamp #cemetery talk

6 notes · View notes

the-darklings · 2 years

Note

Hello! Not tibyim related. How are you? You doing alright? Just noticed that you seem a bit -I dunno if it's the right term- weary? Tired? Your writing is still wonderful as always, don't worry. It's none of my business but just checking in if you're feeling okay. Take care always!

hi, thank you so much for asking 🤧 I generally prefer keeping any negativity off my blog, so it's a safe space for everyone, but I suppose it would be good to give a bit of context to anyone who cares to know.

tw: death in the family, grief, depression, anon negativity.

So, these last two months have been... a lot. I suffer from depression and kinda hit rock bottom early this year. I managed to sit down with myself and make some manageable changes in my life to get into a better mental state, and it's been treating me really well this year, so I've been way better lately.

But at the end of August, my last remaining grandmother passed away. I lived with her for a portion of my childhood, but my feelings toward her were complicated since she was, directly and indirectly, responsible for many traumas that remain unresolved to this day for me. I felt indifferent towards her passing, but my mom took it hard. I had to travel to get back to my homeland to sort some paperwork etc., and it's just been a lot mentally and emotionally. I've been completely out of the usual routine that kept me emotionally stable and happy. My mom's health has also suffered a great deal since she's now dealing with panic attacks/pre-heart attack levels of high blood pressure and had two dips yesterday, making me a bit more exhausted than usual since I'm worried for her.

tibyim has been the one shining light in this last month and a half, and I'm grateful to all of you for reading it and supporting it so fiercely and lovingly. Writing it and answering your questions has been a wonderful distraction tiding me over.

I also dealt with that anon again yesterday since they came back trying to pass off as a "different" anon while talking the same way and doubling down on the same issues. I'm okay with people not liking tibyim - it's a given with any story that someone out there will not like it - but I honestly don't care to argue with anyone on how I write my own story. Sandman fandom is popular and has hundreds of insanely talented writers producing content for it daily. I've dealt with this type of energy in the past, but it's honestly exhausting, and I didn't want to put this shit on all your dashes, so I dealt with it behind the scenes.

I'm okay for the most part, just drained, and, yes, weary. Work on part 10 should start today, and I'm happy to focus on something positive, but yes, this stuff hits you over the head no matter how used to it you are. Once again, thank you for asking how I am. It's been a while since anyone has asked in such a meaningful fashion.

#asks

140 notes · View notes

gaknar · 2 years

Text

Review: Claremont’s Final Chapter

Well this is it. This is the last review I’m going to write for this blog. It covers the last chunk of Chris Claremont’s original run on Uncanny X-Men, along with the crossovers and spinoffs that accompany it. I was thinking that this was going to be a lot more comics, because I completely forgot that I already wrote a review covering the big three X-Men crossovers from the 1980s (Mutant Massacre, Fall of the Mutants, and Inferno). How does that happen? How do I just completely forget that I did bunch of work on a review that’s barely two years old? I’ll tell ya how. Early onset Alzheimer’s. Or maybe I’m busy and not as focused on this blog as I used to be. Nowadays it’s all I can do to keep my queue from emptying out while doing one post a day. I’m a shadow of my former hilarious self. But I still want to tie a bow on what I’ve been doing here for the past seven years, and I guess that’s kind of what this is. I set out with a goal, to read every X-Men comic ever written. How that was to be defined, I didn’t know, but at the very least it was going to include everything up to the end of Claremont’s big run, which I have now accomplished. I’m anxious to keep reading, but I think I’m done writing for now, and maybe indefinitely. I dunno. I haven’t decided yet and I don’t want to speak in absolutes. Only a Sith speaks in absolutes.

I mean how am I gonna be reading this and not be sprinting to my blog to shit post about it. It’s just not possible. I can’t call my mom and troll. “Yeah ma and then they did that shit where they smash the cake in each other’s faces and I puked all over everything! No ma, this was in a comic! A comic!”

For posterity sake, this reading and review cover the following:

Uncanny X-Men #244-279 New Mutants #74-100 X-Factor #40-70 Excalibur #8-25 X-Force #1-4 X-Men Volume 2 #1-3 Days of Future Present Crossover Kings of Pain Crossover

This collection of comics is the most nostalgic for me. I didn’t start collecting Uncanny X-Men until around issue #250. I was a late comer. I had already missed the best stuff. But the X-Men were still at the top of their game, and this particular run represents the exact set of comics that captivated me as a child. I’m biased toward them. This is generally considered to be the weakest part of Chris Claremont’s 17 year long run, but I cannot find the objectivity to agree with this statement. And during this reading, where I actually got to read everything that lead up to this point in time for the X-Men instead of being cluelessly dropped into the middle of it and not even knowing how to pronounce a lot of the characters names, I found these stories to be even more enjoyable.

When I was a kid, I thought Psylocke was pronounced Pisey-locke. I thought Rogue was Roe-goo. One of my older brother’s friends heard me saying that shit and he laughed his ass off at me.

Tell me what’s wrong with this story. The X-Men have become legends, both in story and in real world pop culture, but then their team is decimated. Storm is killed. Colossus, Rogue, Psylocke, Havok, and Dazzler are consumed by Siege Perilous. Wolverine is captured and broken by an alliance of villains he personally carved into cyborgs during his previous adventures. And Longshot is . . . well nobody remembers what happened to Longshot. And with growing threats rising from all over the world, it’s left to the X-Men’s fourth string, students, and attendants to continue the fight. This was a dire time for the comic, and I think for many it deviated too far from what they had grown comfortable with. These characters were real for a lot of people, and they had been scattered, their family destroyed. There was a sense of tragedy and trauma. A great loss of safety and security for characters that were written so intimately they felt like close friends you visited once a month. But I loved it. These were my first X-Men stories. I was only beginning to form my bonds with these characters, and that process was aided by the narrative drive to see them reunited. For a kid in the 4th grade, this was Shakespearian.

And then Jim Lee came along and ruins everything.

No I didn’t cover the swimsuit issue. I mean, this is it. Here, I’m covering it. Look, Logan’s a never nude.

I mean, how can I say that. I actively concede that Jim Lee is the best X-Men artist. And that comes after years of maintaining this blog and meticulously reading every X-Men comic that was released, and falling in love with the work of Barry Windsor Smith.

Bill Sienkiewicz

Paul Smith.

Marc Silvestri.

And John Byrne was ok I guess.

In my opinion, as much as I love all those other artists, none of them can touch Jim Lee’s work on X-Men. They are all phenomenally gifted, but Jim Lee was somehow transcendent on a whole other level. And when his talent swirled with the particular aesthetic of the Uncanny X-Men, magic happened. Something new came into existence that permanently imprinted itself onto our pop culture.

From the characters themselves to crazy alien space-tech, you just can’t beat Jim Lee.

How is it then, that these were the comics, the last issues of Claremont’s run, that killed my interest in the series when I was younger? Claremont was still writing the scripts, but it was clear that something catastrophic had happened behind the scenes. Something was terribly broken. And as much as I wanted to assume that it was all in my head, that there couldn’t have been any hurt feelings because Claremont would return some day, and he would even go on to work with Jim Lee again on other projects, I’m pretty sure that’s not the case. I just watched the Comics In Focus documentary about Chris Claremont, and he tearfully describes his feelings at the time as being “betrayed.” You can feel that in the writing, and it does not make for good entertainment. The final few issues of this run are conflicted and strained, and tedious in their pacing. So unlike the effortless storytelling the series had become known for.

Reading these comics again all these years later brings back memories of why I quit collecting in the first place. By the very end of Chris Claremont’s run, after his narrative plans had been derailed by Jim Lee and their editors, the Uncanny X-Men weren’t stunning anymore. They didn’t stick in my brain and leave me awake at night with a mind full of wonder. They only left me with apathy. This is in contrast to how I felt when I first started reading the series and every issue was a revelation. But I can distinctly remember attempting to read X-Force #1 a second time, searching for some hook to keep me engaged, and there was nothing there. It was an empty, shallow experience that made me question whether I had outgrown the hobby. X-Men Volume 2 reinforced those concerns.

“The writer.” He can’t even be bothered to invoke his name. I’m just going to transcribe this part of the documentary and make some observations. “Comics were boring. Even Marc Silvestri, he’ll admit, he got bored.” This motherfucker thinks the X-Men were just dull as shit until he came along and saved the whole fucking thing. JFC. “Marc had already done the book for like, four or five years. And, but it’s not a job you, you don’t leave that job. It’s the best-selling comic.” This motherfucker thinks THE BEST SELLING COMIC, THE COMIC MORE PEOPLE WERE READING THAN ANY OTHER COMIC IN EXISTENCE was boring until he came along and saved the whole fucking thing. “And the writer had been on it for 15 years. You don’t think he’s burned out?” No Rob, it’s clear he wasn’t burnt out, and you deprived us of another 3-5 years of amazing comics. “It was like hey, the X-Men girls go shopping.” Hey I liked that issue. “In the next issue, the guys go to the mall.” That didn’t even happen! You drew that god damned book and you can’t even remember what it was about!! “And you’re like, this isn’t the X-Men I grew up loving! Where’s Magneto, where’s the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants!? Where’s the stuff that’s gonna psyche me out?” Oh, like fucking Strife and Strobe and Thumbellina? Did that shit psyche you out Rob??

I have given up on X-Men three different times in my life. The first was in 1992, a direct result of the conflict that arose between Claremont and these idiot artists who would stick around for less than a year for abandoning the franchise completely, leaving it in shambles. Looking back at my collection, I made it to issue #7 of X-Men Volume 2 and I was done. The buildup to Onslaught brought me back in 1996, in particular the famous cover proclaiming someone had stopped the Juggernaut which I found in a back issue bin. But I did not last long, only seeing that storyline through and losing interest again by the time Heroes Reborn got underway and it was clear that the clowns in charge didn’t actually have any interesting story ideas past the initial Onslaught concept. Finally, in 2001 it was the one-two punch of Grant Morrison’s new X-Men and Claremont’s own X-Treme X-Men that brought me back one more time. And this time I stuck with it for a good 10 years before a combination of Brian Michael Bendis and Marvel’s agenda to bury the X-Men killed my interest in modern X-Men comics to this day.

I could not stand the idea of the original teenage X-Men becoming the main characters again. There was no blander, more basic concept in my opinion. Other than that shit Rob Liefeld came up with in X-Force.

Despite this on again off again relationship, the X-Men have always been with me. I have always wanted to stay engaged with what was going on in their lives. And that led to the creation of this blog. I wanted to start reading again, but the only way to do that was to start at the beginning and go from there. And I’ve loved reading almost every comic I read for this blog. Analyzing and summarizing each issue allowed me to recreate the experience of reading these comics as a kid, when I read each comic 5 or 6 times through the course of the month as I anticipated the release of the next and finally moved on. That reading pace is very hard to emulate in the age of collected editions, where we might instead read several issues in a single sitting and never look back again. It’s a completely different experience.

But going forward, I don’t think it’s going to be so important. I’m not going to want to linger on Scott Lobdell’s writing, or Rob Liefeld’s garbage artwork. I’m not going to want to struggle to think of something interesting to say about comics I’m apathetic toward. I’m going to keep reading, but I don’t know to what extent, if any, I’ll comment on them here.

Again, I don’t know how I’m going to be reading this shit and not need someone to talk to about it. So don’t completely give up on me.

I recently read through Sandman for the first time, in tandem with reading X-Men comics for this blog. It was obviously very good, but it was also very dense and challenging, and it took forever since I was splitting my comic book time with blog tasks. Then I finally read the deluxe volumes of Saga I’ve owned for years but haven’t had time to read. Compared to Sandman they were a light, breezy walk through a sunny, petal soaked field. It made me excited to read some more of the independent books I've collected over the years. Oh and there’s also these.

I’m way overdue here. I bought all these books and have yet to crack any them open. But every single day they call to me. But of course I can’t start with these. I’m going to read Hickman’s Fantastic Four first, and then his Avengers, and then Secret Wars, and THEN I’ll read these. The time has come for me to start reading modern X-Men again.

In case you can’t tell, this review is also serving as a retrospective for this blog in general. Sorry to spring that on you. I really, really appreciate those who read along with me, corrected my mistakes, offered better insights than I could come up with, and explained the shit that went straight over my head. It wasn’t like reading these comics in a vacuum like I did when I was a kid. It was like being part of an awesomely nerdy reading group. I appreciated every single like and comment you made, and those who stuck with me for an extended period. I saw every engagement you made, even if that wasn’t obvious. I don’t know if this will be my last post, but this is it for now. Thanks everyone.

#xmfbte #clare5 #review

76 notes · View notes

kairithemang0 · 15 days

Note

tell me your thoughts on something (anything) (talk for as long or as short as you want)

ok i've been looking for a reason to talk about this for a while and im just gonna go off the rails here

i recently started watching Colin LooksBack's disney villain retrospectives and I'm so damn obsessed with them. I've mentioned this before, I'm a disney fan through and through. No matter how much I painfully despise so many of their recent movies, nostalgia and the hope of finding something as good as their classics keeps me coming back, as disappointed as I am with their recent features from all sides of the company

I'm especially a disney history fan, I love learning about the first few decades of this company for some reason, their movies from that time aren't even my favorites but just all the old concept art and ideas from the imagineers is so cool to me. Mary Blair's work specifically, her art for Cinderella is stunning.

Disney villains specifically have just always been amazing to me. I was obsessed with Ursula as a kid, I thought she was the coolest freaking character. I love her design, her voice is amazing, I adored her then and I still do.

If we're talking about disney content creators though? Avelo (formerly known as Dreamsounds) has my heart and soul. Her videos are everything to me, they got me through covid. I was so sad when she left when she was getting her bottom surgery, worried she'd never return. I audibly gasped when I saw her return video show up on my recommended because I love her videos that much, and still do, even if it's not as disney focused.

I dunno, I think my disney obsession and Kingdom Hearts obsession go hand in hand (hah, that's a kingdom hearts song). I mean KH and disney are tied together by nature, but I got into KH for the disney. I found my moms old kh1 copy a while ago and I wished I could have the chance to play it on the ps2 (which we sadly don't have anymore). I haven't ever finished kh1, the controls are too clunky and I hate that stupid fucking camera. Even still, it's a game that matters to me a lot. KH2 does more for me in the end though, I reset the game so often just to play through Roxas's section in twilight town. it's nostalgic, not even just for playing kh but it's the type of fun me and my friends would have during our summer vacation. seeing roxas's life fall apart is scary because in some way i relate, the friendship he had with hayner, pence, and olette in the data twilight town wasnt real, and neither were my friendships with those people.

back to more regular disney, i fucking love the disney parks. honestly im so nostalgic for fastpass, i miss needing to go up to those little stands and put it on some card. i hate genie+ and lightning lane because it feels much less personal, so do the disney parks in general for me now. maybe it's because i'm getting older, i wouldnt be surprised if that was the case. even still, i love going. i mean cinderellas castle is my damn wallpaper (godddd i love that wallpaper so much....) and there are multiple of these "disney parks music" videos that i will actively use to fall asleep because idk nostalgia is a bitch. the boardwalk one is a personal favorite of mine, something about it just hits for me. me and my family went right after covid started to slow down, the boardwalk was having a soft opening and we got in for cheap. we got this amazing room overlooking the boardwalk itself, and for lack of a better word the vibes were incredible. like... WOW. we drove down, it sucked because it was exhausting and i cant be in small spaces like that for too long, but in the end it could've been worse. i had given myself this challenge to watch all the disney movies before going, i finished encanto on that drive. it's what got me back into so many of them, treasure planet specifically. it feels like every year ill just find myself obsessing over one specific disney movie around this time, last year it was tp and the tinkerbell movies. this year id say it's alice in wonderland, which ive had an obsession with for years. it's just a plotless fun movie with memorable characters that mean something to me. i dunno, im a sucker for anything nostalgic, twisted is my favorite starkid show for a reason, and i don't just love kh for it's crazy plot and characters (although that's most of it)

sorry this is REALLYYY long.....

#thanks for the ask!

3 notes · View notes

molsno · 11 months

Text

@transellyy tagged me in a reddit refugee thing even though neither of us are reddit refugees but I'll do it for her. :3 besides it's basically just 20 random questions anyway

Name? vivi!

Pronouns and gender? she/it, of course I consider myself a trans woman but to be more specific I'm like a boygirlthing

Sexuality? ace lesbian :3

Country? usa

Top 5 fandoms? otherside picnic, zero escape, erm... I don't really do fandoms but those are the only big ones for me I guess

What is your Most forbidden snack? if I wanted to eat something I shrimply would

Would you pet a bug? 😨 not a chance, if I see a bug I scream and run away

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. there's a ghost that lives in my head that tends to come out when I listen to music. I've felt its presence for several years but I wasn't really consciously aware of it until... I dunno, around last october or so?

What does the color blue taste like? blue raspberry slushies, my favorite flavor :3

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? my gf hehe 🥰

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? generally I'm a pretty cautious person. but the stupidest thing I've ever done was deny myself the ability to love trans women. it genuinely caused me years of anguish and self hatred

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? that's a tough call with how often people try to get into stupid arguments with me on here. but probably the most ridiculous was the trans guy who was such a transmisogynist he invented the terms ATA and ATE, which stand for anti transmasculinity affected and anti transmasculinity exempt. barring that, probably the time my sister said she doesn't think anything that happened before the 1800s was real

Hyperfixation song? it changes fairly often but I think my most recent hyperfixation song is laura les - haunted. I'm not really a geccer but a friend linked me this song and I fell in love with it instantly

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? my profile picture is my oc, asuka tachibana. small snippet of her personality description: "Asuka is a rude, egotistical person. She looks down on and belittles nearly everyone she comes into contact with, especially men, often for very petty and superficial reasons. Its massive ego is often undermined by an incredibly short fuse. When people snap back at its rude quips or otherwise threaten its superiority, it gets easily riled up, and will fight back until it wins." I've had the same username for like a decade and it's a shortened version of moltensnow, which I made up when I was like 11 because I loved the freezyflame galaxy in super mario galaxy

Dream career as a child? game developer

Dream career as an adult? game developer... but idk, lately I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do. I don't really have a definitive answer

Thoughts on cilantro? never had it

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? nah

What is your cursed food combination? for some reason my mom always made spaghettios whenever she made tacos and now I still do that to this day

Trans rights? NO!!!! 😡 just kidding can you imagine

I shall tag @bubblegumpumpkin @mothgirlyuri @iavenjqasdf @vivi266 @theghostiedyke

15 notes · View notes