#i dont think we get to decide if anyone being trans makes sense or not bc being trans makes no sense ever and thats whats good about it. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

reorientation · 6 months

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femme transmasc here. i went to a gay club the saturday before halloween wearing a tight short black dress, no bra or binder, and the top part of the dress has a cutout that my breasts sometimes fall out of (so i wore black heart pasties over my nipples). a straight guy immediately sniffed me out (legit within five minutes) and made a connection with me, he charmed me and flirted with me and it felt so good. he admitted he was straight but "with exceptions" and when i made sure to tell him i was trans he smiled so big and said that didnt change anything for him.

i was seriously soaking my lace thong and kept giggling and looking at his lap needing his cock, its insane how quickly he had me under his spell. every sexual comment he made had me closer to pulling my breasts out and showing him how good of a girl i would be for him. we were sitting so close wrapped up in each other all evening and the intimacy was electric.

we didnt go anywhere to fuck (so many red flags even other than the fact that he was straight, i dont think the straightness would have been a dealbreaker but some other comments were concerning safety-wise) but i wanted him to take me with every fiber of my being. i wanted my breasts to fall out accidentally and to have him laugh at me and grope them. i wanted to be a woman for him and feel him empty himself inside of me. to tell him my real name and listen to him moan it as he knocked me up. fuck i think im getting really close to giving in and accepting my womanhood. i dont think i can deny myself this raw pleasure for much longer. what should i do?

It hardly feels like you need my advice - if that straight stranger had been just a bit smarter about not scaring you off, you would have done your best to make him a daddy.

I truly enjoyed hearing this, though. You went to a gay club, but tarted yourself up to put firm emphasis on your breasts and your femininity - repelling anyone there who would have wanted to fuck you as a "man", while advertising yourself to any man who came there looking for an easy girl to fuck. When one found you, you instantly got giggly and wet and ready to have his babies.

It's stories like this that show me there's something special about "transmascs": there's a real sense in which you're better girls than normal girls, you know? Getting a normal girl in the sack usually takes effort, and they tend to be wary about fucking strangers or taking it unprotected. Femininity is a background condition of their sexuality.

But if you pump a girl full of testosterone and lies about how she's "really a man", and pay her a little attention, and let her think that it's a sexy taboo thing to be called her real name... Suddenly just the fact of her biology turns her on, and you have a little whore who's ready to get knocked up within an hour of meeting you.

So to answer your question, Anon: no, you won't be able to deny yourself much longer, and you know what you should do. You lost the protection of normal womanhood when you decided to be a "femme transmasc" instead. All that's left for you now is to be a good girl.

#kink interactions #reorientation writing #reor: anon ask #ftm misgendering kink #ftm detransition kink #ftm breeding #ftm girl #reor: anon life story

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faggy--butch · 4 days

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one day can we talk about how a lot of the lateral aggression from some transfems to transmascs is rooted in normal cissexist structures. did i make sense? like they transition but dont unlearn the misogyny they've been taught since forever and then immediately take it out on the weird little girls they've been primed to take misogyny out on since forever. And who have also been primed to just take the misogyny. Probably without realising it. And ik it goes both ways so on so forth etc etc. But damn.

*nb4 'male socialization is transphobic' i didnt say that, you're a fool if you think anyone doesn't have learned misogyny. what i am saying is that no where on tumblr do i see unlearning your misogyny get talked about by the kinda people who've decided to coin "transandrobro." you know.

yeah I mean everyone has internalized misogyny, it comes free with being raised in a misogynistic society. Not only that but it's acceptable and even encourage among women to hate men, to really just revile dudes.

So I think that on one hand trans men are expected to get over it as quickly as humanly possible, to be the "right kind of man" while still having hang ups about men and women, femininity and masculinity, and trans women are expected to conform as quickly to cis womanhood as possible while still having hang ups on men and women, femininity and masculinity.

So you have people who lash out at men ( allowed) while having internalized misogyny ( haven't had the time to work through it yet) with people who know what misogyny is like and understand how women are spoken over, and that it's allowed to express hatred towards men. ( With the same kinds of internalized misogyny that probably hasn't been worked through yet) both of these parties are interchangeable.

It gives you trans men who are internalized misogynistic and also support the hatred of men by other trans people, and trans women who are welcome to bash men ( trans men) in a misogynistic way because of those prior hang ups.

This is why you see trans men accused of being "whiny" and "hysterical" and "just wanting to be special" when talking about transandrophobia and you get it from trans men and women. . Or the "womentm expect men to hold open the door for them" which is just come one, just regular (internalized) misogyny.

No one is allowed to work through their shit.

So no yeah it's not about "male socialization" or "female socialization" it's about interal biases that haven't been recognized and worked on by all parties involved,mixed with radical feminism fueling the fire to try and separate us.

#asks #This took a minute for me to get everything down coherently lol

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jasmine-angel · 9 months

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im gonna say it on here bc it’s safer than my other socials atm. i don’t think im trans (fully). i was dead sure for 9? years. i feel like i am losing a part of myself - i am ACTUALLY gaining something but idk my heart is breaking a bit.

i was on T for 2 and a half years. i was gonna get top surgery (and decided not to for diff reasons). i changed my name. the sex on my passport is M. like. i was SO SURE.

now after all this time i’ve finally been unpacking shit in therapy and also learning about autism. and … yeah. i fucked up lmao.

it is entirely on me, i chose to do all i did and i chose to get done what i did. i consented to everything and i do not regret it. i just feel like… let down. that i wasn’t offered the support i needed earlier to understand myself and how i would feel more comfortable.

i am happy w a lot of T changes! like super happy. it made me feel like my own person. but.. yeah.

i think i would consider myself agender but i dont wanna say i identify that way bc its less of an identity and more of just my general understanding of gender. i have never understood gender. probably an autism thing! but i just DONT GET IT. i dont know how it is meant to ‘feel’ or how u even know which one u fit in.

since i was a child i just couldn’t grasp gender like everyone else and i guess that’s why i transitioned bc i never felt like a real girl. but then i didnt ‘feel’ like a boy either. and then i decided to come out as nonbinary but idk. i never ‘felt’ like that either.

to make matters more complicated, my abusive ex stepdad would bully and belittle me for being afab. he made me HATE being born how i was. the csa i felt was only because of my being born this way. no wonder i wanted to get away from it all. i refused to believe he could have an impact like that when i was 16 or so and people were suggesting it. it made me feel even more out of control. all i wanted was to be in charge of my body for once. transitioning felt like getting that control back (one of the reasons im so grateful for it).

in an ideal world gender wouldn’t exist n we would all just utilise hormones and surgery to feel good in our skin much like any other affirming surgeries.

for now i will use they/she pronouns. but idc really. gender is confusing and unimportant to me. i care more for aesthetics lmao ..

i hope this makes some sense n if anyone resonates with it plz dm me :,) i feel quite alone currently. i know it’s a very odd experience but i hope someone somewhere gets it.

#autism #gender #lgbt #they she #agender #jaz rambles about gender #to an audience of no-one #jasper rambles #trauma #trauma and gender #afab #csa mention

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unfortunatelyself · 2 years

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✨️ My autistic/adhd headcanons: ✨️

Dipper Pines

From Gravity Falls

Mabel being autistic and adhder is a popular headcanon I've seen several times, but I dont understand how no one seems to care about poor Mason guy. I mean, its clear for me that he is autistic as well. He struggles in social situations, has anxiety, wears the same outfit everyday to avoid wasting time thinking about what to wear, the diaries and the author are clearly his special interests to the point he doesn't sleep bc of it, he stims without even noticing by chewing pens when he's stressed plus he's probably trans.

Star Butterfly

From Star vs the forces of evil

This is a headcanon I've seen a little discussion on and I completely agree. Star behaves differently than those around her and although the show tried this to look like a cultural shock cause shes from another dimension, even in Mewni the only one who understands her is her father. She has echolalia, she happy stims by jumping and clapping, she hyperfocus/obsess, cant stand boredom, always find a way to have fun, she cant get the hint that someone dont like her; Marco was running away terrified of her while she was happily waving at him and saying goodbye and when Britney told her she would invite her to her party when pigs fly she took it literally. She's passionate, resolve things her way, can have strong emotional reactions, shes creative, very energetic and with a strong sense of justice.

Spongebob

I dont even know where to start, not only bc it is incredibly obvious hes autistic, but also it makes angry that his autistic traits are portrayed as annoying in the show and the ableist inside it.

His special interests are krabby patties. He loves his work, although its not even a work for him, its his life, he loves doing this with a passion, he don't want to stop doing it and gets depressed when Mr Crabs forces him to have some vacations.

He can became hyperfocus/obsessive, specially when it comes to krabby patties and the krusty crab in general.

He is very sensitive and experience his emotions very strongly, hes caring and get attached easily.

He doesn't get when people dont like him, although he is aware that he annoys Squidward and even have a day only to annoy him with Patrick, the rest of his interactions with him or anyone, he doesn't seems aware, something thats portrayed as "dumb" which I totaly hate btw.

He acts younger than he is, even some citizens of bikini bottom refer to him as a kid, when he's actually 20 something. More like an adult who does whatever he wants and makes him happy to me. It doesn't seem like he dislikes being called a kid by others but it stills annoy me a bit cause the ✨️ ableism ✨️ yk.

He has an "inappropriate" and "annoying" laugh and in general he is "annoying" and it piss me off that all that considered annoying are nd traits, and it personally annoys me more bc Spongebob has been my favorite cartoon since I'm like four and most of the think he does, I do them too.

Luz Noceda

From the owl house

Since episode one u can tell she has adhd and how the principal(? of her school and her mom, instead of trying to understand her, only want her to change and bahave like she should. Not like the spiders where the best idea but still, they also wanted her to stop engaging on her silly fantasy books. Very understandable she decided to stay at the boiling isles.

She lives in her own world. She's full of creativity, passion, new ideas, she wants not only to explore the world, she want to do it now, like, rn. Shes also very energetic, always ready for an adventure or a lecture as long as shes interested.

Oscar

From Summer Camp Island

He is so clearly autistic to me. He has difficulties with change and adapting, something we see the moment he arrives at the camp and his parents leave; he even tries to leave bc this new environment, all the changes, being away from the safety his parents represent its too much for him.

Hes anxious asf, hes clumsy and a little clingy. He get his confidence when he feels safe with his friends and in the moment theyre not around he starts getting worried.

He is a calm guy who likes doing things his way and prefer staying at his cabin, chill and cozy but who also likes and is willing to go on adventure as long as he feels comfortable and safe with his friends, from which he gets his strength.

Reassurance and a book are enough to make him happy.

I love him. Hes also the character i relate the most with from this list (I relate to all except from Dipper and Neddy).

Neddy

From adventure time

Same thing as with Dipper and Mabel, Neddy is Princess Bubblegum brother, her being autistic is a well known headcanon but Neddy, oh man, hes pretty much too but since he has so little screen time I wouldn't be surprised if people dont even remember him.

He is non verbal and very very sensitive to noise and change, being Bonnies song the only thing that can calm him during a meltdown.

There's not much else to say, Bonnie and Neddy is the only episode hes part of, but i think thats enough. Since the very beginning, he seemed very overwhelmed by the different environments and noises him and Bonnie were facing after leaving the mother gum. He desseperatily cries and tries to run away from the danger or discomfort hes feeling.

I really wish he had at least another episode to see his relationship with his family and to understand and get to know him more, apart from the ending scene in which Bonnie and their aunt are singing to him.

(For the record, i dont like Bonnie but i do like this quote from Bonnie and Neddy. It also goes pretty well with this post.)

#autistic headcanon #autism #adhd tag #gravity falls #svtfoe #spongebob #summer camp island #adventure time #neurodivergent #adhd headcanon #nd headcanons #dipper pines #star butterfly #luz noceda

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taichouu · 2 months

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gen question but i think most ppl in x reader spaces are female as far as i have experienced it so that they write female reader makes sense, right? or would you prefer if fics were all just gender neutral? also if its okay to ask: is it alright for those female writers to write male readers? i just think everybody writes what caters to them so the thought 'i have to make a blog for this' doesnt seem that bizzare. isnt that how female reader content comes to be as well? i just wanna know how we can be more inclusive/ diverse bc i dont know much outside gender neutral readers

I completely agree and I've said this on a previous post before that I understand the general population of the self ship and x reader community identifies as female, and therefore are women writing with the intention to come across to other women in their audience. I personally would much prefer people write what they feel up to writing, after all their art is for THEMSELVES! Nobody should be forced to write anything they don't want to.

Keeping this in mind, and I know I have personal feelings in this, but it feels a bit hurtful and borderline disappointing to always hear the "I don't know how to write male reader" line. Writers can write male characters but suddenly can't write a male character when it's in the form of a reader?

I can GUARANTEE there are trans people in this community that write AFAB women x male character readers and have no problems doing so. I write female characters all the time and I'm a guy. I don't understand where this sudden confusion pops up? This is not directed to you personally of course, I'm not upset with anyone in particular.

I cannot and will not speak for the entire queer x reader community, but a HUGE way you can help without having to bunker down and awkwardly write queer characters youre unsure of is uplifting and defending the people who do in your community. Are you rbing only AFAB readers? Are you being vocal about different bodies in your head canon musings? Do you FOLLOW openly queer people who write on tumblr? If you feel up to it, write a male reader x canon drabble! LISTEN TO CRITICISM and work around it! Don't be discouraged, and keep making the community better for everyone involved, even if you don't "make content" for that side of things. If you do decide to write for queer people but you're not queer yourself, sexual education is SO easy in the age of the internet!! Get yourself acquainted with strap ons, grinding pads, sensory toys ETC. It's not rocket science, everybody's got a hole !

And a note for people who do write gender neutral reader characters... maybe change up your body shapes every once in a while. Not every gender neutral person is AFAB.

Just remember that you have a voice to your followers, please make sure you're making the space safe for everyone by including us guys when you're musing about topics like "would your fave do this" or things like that.

#this is such a complicated and long winded question to answer i apologize i tried to be concise #tai talks #anonymous #thank you for reaching out tho <:) I promise im not upset with this ask i just have a lot of personal emotions in this topic #but i hope this answers some of your concerns? its a very complicated situation and it just makes me extremely frustrated <:(

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whitelacepants · 7 months

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im not very good with words so I'll try to explain this the best that i can, but I've recently started seeing like, way too many people leaning towards violence before they lean towards support and i feel like that's a really dangerous way of thinking bc there are so many teenagers on these platforms that see this stuff and don't like, understand the full picture, you know?

like for example i see a lot of "kill nazis" posts on here but i rarely ever see posts that say "protect jewish people". same goes for queer people too, it's always "kill transphobes" "kill homophobes" and then you'll see the rare "protect queer people" "protect trans people" when pride comes around and people wanna start selling pins and stuff. same goes for poc. and i totally understand that these phrases are probably like, valid reactions to marginalized communities being terrorized for so long, but i think a lot of teenagers get the wrong message and think that like, violence is the immediate reaction to stuff like this. does this make sense??

and I've definitely seen so much worse on tiktok! like i saw a post talking about how if we started "stringing up" pedophiles now then we'd have so many "pretty decorations by halloween" and im just like huh?!?!?!?! like we're basically teaching kids these days to kill people that they dont like and that's exactly what conservatives are teaching their kids too!! so now at this point, instead of fighting for people's rights we're all just fighting about who we think deserves to die.

and before anyone says anything crazy, i totally understand that pedophiles and rapists and nazi and etc. are horrible people that do horrible things! im not saying they dont deserve some type of punishment for the things they do and the people they hurt. im just saying that we maybe dont have the right to decide who gets to die. because conservatives do that all the time.

like think about it. if liberals/leftists/whatever we're calling ourselves these days, if we start saying "hey, all these bad people (tm) deserve to die" the conservatives are gonna find a way to label these marginalized communities as the "bad people(tm)" in question and that'll be their justification for killing them. and honestly, it's already happening! like conservatives think that trans people are pedos and are gonna sneak into the bathrooms and hurt the kids, and then that spiraled into drag getting banned in some states, and now trans kids cant take hormones and they can get taken from their homes because of "child endangerment" if their parents are supportive, and then project 2025 is like, the ultimate guide to killing off queer people (although im sure their are more people that'll be hurt by project 2025 as well).

like does this make sense?? i know it's kind of complicated but im hoping i explained it ok. im not a politics person so i know i dont have all the right terminology and stuff to like, properly convey what im trying to say.

#god how do i tag this #uhhh #politics #tw politics #tw pedophila mention #tw transphobes #tw antisemitism #pedophillia mention #transphobes #antisemitism #tw murder #i think that's it

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foxfairy06 · 7 months

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HIIIII poookkksss its ollie, u banned me so ill yell at you on tumbllrrr <33333. YOU ARE A JOKKKE. "No cause i literally got diagnosed on the phone but ok hunn go off". okay sure, seriously doubtful because you could lie over the phone... did you know that... bet you didnt. anyway. like thats your reply to what u actually have to do to get a diagnosis, so your over the phone shit is actual bullshit. like its not covid no reason to do that, and also they need to see you in person and have you explain how your feeling aswell as your movements and the way that you respond to questions to get a diagnosis, or they will ask your family and friends or your teaching if they have noticed behavior that is needed for your diagnosis. so BULLSHIT BULLSHIT :333. Telling me to touch grass, god you so basic oml. also calling me a hypocrite when your a literal exclusionist , which you get to decide what is and isnt in the lgbtqia+ community is hypocrisy. from the merriam webster "a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings" and something you said in our messages, "The basis is lgbt topics. It's meant to be a place for lgbt exclusionists to gather" you say you support ppl of lgbtq but if they dont meet your criteria or if you dont think their queer you exclude them. thats hypocrisy. anyway hope you actually get the help you need so you can WAKE THE FUCK UP for you stupidity <3 which i will continue to state because my proof above proves it <3.

-ollie p.s you are still a ball of sperm we all are its not rude its a literal fact

p.p.s if you bring up what i said in the server here is a message i sent to you "i was spewing BULLSHIT" which you know is because i am a troll and i was gathering dirt on you pooks

p.p.p.s i have screenshotted all of out chats <3 karmas a bitch she is coming for you.

Karma for??? Being a good person? I didn't say anything rude, homophobic, or bad to you so you have no actual leverage here. That's like saying "i took screenshots so karma is coming for you<3" to the poor child you just harassed that eas being respectful and kind to you the whole time.

For those who don't understand, green text to the rescue!

> be ollie

> be sitting at your moms computer, bored

> decide your life isn't angry enough

> create an entire Tumblr spewing radmed shit thinking transmeds will follow you

> find a transmed with a server

> start saying super homophobic shit and harass everyone

> get muted for being homophobic and transphobic and harassing people

> message all the mods and call them names for muting your

> admit you were trolling then scream and cry at the owner for being transmed while calling him names and making strawmen and adhominem

> get banned

> still be a pissbaby who can't stop being angry with his life

> decide touching grass is too much

> go leave a novel of an ask under the owners Tumblr that makes several assumptions and zero sense then question their means of diagnosis.

For those who don't have context, i am trans, I am duosex, I went to a therapy place for free, and saw a therapist. He immediately started going through the criteria for dysphoria because I asked but we ran out of time. So I'm getting my diagnosis finished over the phone. It took me two appointments and $0 to get a gender dysphoria diagnosis. So stop acting like this is difficult or hurting anyone.

It's not hypocrisy to provide a safe space for a group and exclude people. You would provide a safe space for enben that has binary people in it? Because they aren't enby. Thus they don't need that space, and could fuck it up.

You're the hypocrite calling me names and crying and screaming at me calling me crazy. Seriously get some help. Therapy is an option. If you don't feel safe in your current mental state you could always check in at an ER and tell them you need help. You could also look around. Many places provide therapy for free. Utilize these resources and stop harassing strangers online. I hope that goes well for you.

#exclusionist #gravity knife gay #anti inclusionist #anti inclus #battleaxe bi #longsword lesbian #exclus #transmed #transmed safe #esai lgbt #pro transmedicalist #pro truscum #truscum safe #nunchuk nonbinary

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goremet-chef · 9 months

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anyways im having a lot of transgender type thoughts and specifically ive decided like. heres my fantasy right wouldnt it be so cool to be like.

some part of me wants to just!! its like i mean obviously i dont wanna make any friends cuz thats hard and scary but IF WE CAN SUSPEND THE DISBELIEF RIGHT

being the token boy in a group of girls??? in my sillay little head it gives me euphoria thinking about how different i would be from them, and if they would like. see me as a boy right cuz

this is really sad but we've been trying to move for a while cuz we rent our house for the last like 5+ years and my mom wants to actually own one cuz its just more comfortable yknow UNDERSTANDABLE thats not that sad part btw no the sad part is while we went to look at houses, for most of that house searching i was still in school, and i just

we'd drive by the schools and get a good look at the area and i could see the scene layed out so clearly, me moving in and being the new kid again, but a group of other boys accept me as one of them with no problem and its. it made my heart so full, i could cry just thinking about it

that fullness was replaced by emptiness pretty quickly cuz i knew that would never happen. id have to be a different person entirely personality wise to even be up front about the fact that i was trans back then. LET ALONE thinking that thered would be a very conveniently accepting group of boys ready to let me in the gang right like yeah thats not happening

i dream about it though, i dream about it a lot. it makes me feel so happy man, sometimes i hold onto the thought cuz i know ONE DAY ill get there

in the mean time though? put me in a room with a bunch of girls, and they would probably reject me themselves SKFJS ive got boy brain whether anyone likes it or not sometimes i just wanna go ape shit i just wanna get silly with it i wanna throw myself around and do dumb things for the sake of being a fucking idiot because its FUN

but thats the thing right. cis girls? i dont know many girls to begin with, pretty much none outside of my family, but CIS GIRLS? cant trust them no i honestly dont feel like i cant trust anyone whos not trans which i think at this rate is pretty rational thought

picture it, perfect and golden. pretty transfem group and i will be their token boy its so good ladies listen to me. im so dumb and youll look at me and go eugh whys he like that right?? giggling teeheeing, kicking my feet even

its like ive lived a lot of my life presenting as a girl, so like. i generally feel comfortable around women. but cis women are weird! so trans girls are the way to go. like LOGICALLY that just makes the most sense im so smart

this is a hypothetical probably cuz i cant look past my crippling social anxiety for too long but hey a guy can dream 🤷‍♂️

#trans #transgender

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rue-bennett · 1 year

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Sorry rant incoming but it makes sense to me low-key bc I think she's a performative activist. Like she doesn't actually give a shit about peoples struggles in any meaningful way which is why she made a hoopla about becoming political and then made cookies one time? Or something. If you refuse to be political on the basis imma side eye you but ok bc we shouldn't be looking to celebs for politics. she tries to court progressives without ever doing anything to alienate a conservative fanbase. I don't think she's spoken up about the drag ban when lizzo and Hayley kiyoko have bc I don't think she want to risk alienating that side of the fandom. I think if you asked her point blank her opinions on issues I think her answers would fall in line with a lot of her fanbases morals but I don't see her voluntarily actually making meaningful statements. The never being political thing isn't even accurate bc shes always been political, she spoke up about sexism all the time, the difference is she was advocating for for herself bc she was personally affected.

I don't think I'll ever forget how she decided to sue? Or take down an article pointing out her big white surp. Fanbase instead of just making a statement about.. not wanting white supremacist in her fanbase. It's one think to not denounce republicans and another if you won't even say I don't want proud boys to be my fans lol.

Like I get being non political or the fear of being political because your career would be impacted but not only has she risen above bein negatively impacted by speaking out (other smaller pop stars are doing it) there have been other country artists who have so much more to lose who have protested the ban why wearing drag in their concerts. If she had never "become political" maybe if be less annoyed more just side eye but she centered an entire comeback around supporting queer people (not well imo) and now barely speaks up about issues they face. She used it to rebrand but I dont see her rocking the boat to really denounce all the stuff going on rn drag etc. It's pretty easy to sum up the point in that she made two cottagecore albums and was at the top of that celeb jet list. It's all performative.

Idk I think Taylor's a nice person. I think she's talented and charming and funny and I'm not surprised she has so many people that like her because she does nice things for fans, and friends and is generous in her personal life it's just the nice is different than good. I don't actually care of she's dating him I would prefer her to just be honest and be like I don't give a fuck about being progressive enough to actually take personal risks.

I mean yeah I don’t have a lot to add here because I don’t think you’re wrong. I will say I wish she said more absolutely, but I just know it ain’t gonna be the case and my expectations for pop stars have adjusted dramatically. I definitely agree being nice is different than good and idk how exactly to define it. I will add that LGBT rights is one of the few things she’s been outspoken/clear on, even if it was to promote an album, she’s mentioned it pretty consistently since then. And she has dancers in drag with her on stage during this tour, nb/trans performers, lots of LGBT (or at least lesbian and bi, idk about nb/trans?) openers. Not saying it makes up for anything or trying to paint her as a saint. I don’t think she or anyone else is. But yeah idk. My feelings on her activism (and sometimes lack of it) are complicated.

#she’s not a risk taker except for when she is #idk #asks #anonymous #celeb talk #long post #ts talk

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dawnshadow · 2 years

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Feeling emotional, here to vent. Being Ace is hard, here’s my journey.

My best friend who I trust the most right now keeps having discussions with me about the social construct of gender, which is fine. I don’t mind an open-minded discussion/debate. She is very republican, so we have decent discussions and usually agree to disagree.

But when she jumps into sexual orientation discussion, then it’s personal to me and I jumble my thoughts in trying to defend who I feel I am and I never get my point across. I end the convo frustrated and sad. So I’m planning some answers here.

She keeps asking, why do they keep adding acronyms?

Because Karen, (which was is literally her name), it feels good to be part of a community. To know that your experiences and feelings are valid. To know there are others like you, to feel like you belong somewhere. So that when you are doubting who you are, because society screams it’s not “normal” you can go on tumblr or tiktok or Google and find thousands of people who experience the lack of sexual attraction like you do and you remember you aren’t alone.

She tells me that asexually doesn’t count because I wasn’t born this way. She thinks if I didn’t have trauma and didn’t have hormone imbalances that maybe I would feel attraction to people. That it wasn’t something I was born with. Idk maybe she’s right, but why does that need to deter from what I am experiencing right now? Plus my traumas happened after age 10. I knew there was something different about me when I was 8. She says kids that young dont understand and don’t know what sexual and/or romantic attraction is. I try to explain that I didn’t mentally understand the concept of having crushes. My friends at 8 obsessed over Derek Jeter and a boy in our class, Ryan. they thought they were so handsome and so cute and said they wanted to kiss them. I didn’t understand what that meant. Why was Derek Jeter cute? He has muscles, he is tanned, he is successful, that’s as much as I got out of them when I asked for an explanation. And why was Ryan cute? He had freckles, they said. He was sweet, he had a cool haircut, he was popular, and they wanted to kiss him so I said I did too.

Then we discussed boy bands, still at age 8-9. NSYNC & Backstreet Boys. Each one of us in my friend group of 4 had to choose who we had a crush on. One girl liked the one with the blonde hair, because blonde hair is cuter. One chose the craziest acting one in each group because she liked their personalities and spunk. Another chose the lead singer because of their face and ripped body, because she wanted to hug and kiss a strong guy. I chose whoever was left, for the simple reason being that they hadn’t been chosen yet. I copied what they did. Drawing hearts on their notebooks with names in it. Talked about what it would be like to hang out with them alone. Wondered how solid their muscles were. But I didn’t get it. I nodded along and agreed with everything they said because it seemed right. But it didn’t feel right. I didn’t want to kiss them or anyone.

After puberty started and I had gone thru trauma that fucked my ability to have normal attachments, I clung hard to female friends and role models. I started to explore a little and Google and think that I must be a lesbian. But sure thinking about sex was fun and felt good, but I never wanted to touch a woman, I never had that moment of “ oh yes I want to kiss her or hump her” no, I just wanted to experience the physical sensations I saw them have, all on my own. I thought because I felt good watching and reading about lesbians I must be one. So I tried to fantasize about my peers and other women. But it just didn’t make sense to me. And that made me more confused. I felt like a “bad” lesbian because I didn’t feel attracted to them either. I decided pansexual was a label that maybe fit me. Maybe I could eventually find someone I wanted to have sex with, maybe they would be trans. I kept that label a secret but still couldn’t shake that it wasn’t the right one for me.

Sometime in college, I learned what asexuality is. Probably from here on tumblr. And it all made sense. I joined Ace groups, watched tons of interviews, read everything I could. And something clicked. I realized this was me to a T.

That’s my rant for now. Thanks tumblr for still being a safe place to vent when I need to.

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enlighten3d · 3 months

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fuck this, i have more thoughts abt buttercups eva au!

(if this is your first time seeing buttercups eva au: its an au where grian, mumbo, and scar are pilots of evangelions. like, from neon genesis evangelion. i dont think much knowledge of eva is required, but im prolly wrong shfjfj. other things abt this au can be found in the #buttercups eva au tag.)

character backstories! made this up while trying to sleep last night . this is scars, ill write grian and mumbos later

reminder that im kinda partially saying 'fuck the lore of eva' bcs i literally watched this thing two days ago and it does not make sense to me but i like the Vibes. also am maayyybeee??? calling the angels watchers in this au.

so, scar goodtimes: (this is more of a character profile... a rly rambly one.)

his parents were... killed, and he is under suspicion for being the one to do it. i am unsure whether or not he actually killed them, but the alternative is that they killed themselves and then he got blamed for it. whatever. he doesnt particularly care that they died; they were assholes. so hes on the run, hopping countries whenever he can. he tries to stay in places the longest he can, but he can never stay too long as it gets unsafe + he gets paranoid. also he pissed off a SHITTON of people during his travels so hes also hiding from them. at some point tho he gets weary of always running, despite being scared of stopping, he says fuck it and tries to settle down someplace, even just for a bit. probably fuckin... germany or something? he IS technically supposed to be the asuka of this au.

so he settles down in say, gemany. tricks the government into giving him a new identity via the loophole of him being born right after the second impact, when the world was in SHAMBLES. he says that he never like, officially registered in the government databases due to the disarray and is only coming forth about it now. the government is like 'okay sus but sure'. mooostly cause hes a viable eva pilot i think. anygays he gets an identity, goes to school, is very Normal, but then he gets approached like 'hey do you want to pilot a giant mech? okay great you have no choice'. he wouldnt have said no either way; nerv being a government facility means that its safe. besides, hes curious.

so he becomes the second child, the pilot of eva unit02. he doesnt find it particularly great but its fine enough. he likes feeling like he actually has power for once in his life. he knows he doesnt, not really, but what matters is the feeling of it when it comes to these things, isnt it?

and if youre going like 'lime, his parents being mysteriously killed and him being on the run is a rly flimsy backstory', my answer to that is that i KNOW. but this is silly au and i can do what i want. all of this is subject to change hjksdfsnamd

also hes trans (because i said so). when he got a legal identity, they were like 'we are not going to call you scar'and he was like 'boo'. and then still went by scar.

hes been in a LOT of countries over the course of the course of his life, which means that hes picked up quite a few other languages. how can he trick convince people into letting him hitch a ride if they dont understand him! so hes a polyglot but like, a really bad one if that makes sense fsjdkfnds. id say hes fluent in english, german, japanese, which are the obligatory languages for this, but im sure he knows several more, even if hes not necessarily fluent.

his whole life, especially while his parents were alive but even after that, hes been told that hes worthless and that he wont ever really accomplish anything. how could anyone like him ever do anything with their life? so yeah, spite. hes decided that no, theyre wrong. even though hes never been in one consistent place for most of his life, hes always been determined to somehow prove them wrong. so that definitely plays into being one of the first eva pilots beside the whole safety thing.

hes... determined. but hes never had many close relationships, having always left before anything true could bloom (boom, the whole being on the run thing is a metaphor now as well cause hes running from himself too haha). he puts up a confident façade to hide the fact that he very much does not know what hes doing. hes trying to prove people wrong, that hes better than what they say, but he usually always leaves before he can do that, afraid of actually doing it. here, hes forced to actually stay. so even if he doesnt particularly want to (he does, he just doesnt want to acknowldge it because surely hes better than personal connections? surely theyre a weakness?), he becomes close friends with grian and mumbo and learns that yeah maybe he doesnt have to run. maybe he can stay put.

and thats it mostly!

hope this makes sense, thank you so much for reading! if you have any questions or thoughts abt this au, shoot them in my askbox. this is a very very unplanned au, so anth is appreciated. Ɛ>

#tw suicide mention #buttercups eva au #goodtimeswithscar #hermitblr #evangelion #hermitcraft #hermitcraft au #gtws

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expfcultragreen · 7 months

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My girlfriend refuses to be an organ donor because she doesnt want to accidentally save a fash

Im like, im sure they say the same thing

(but apparently we dont get donor organs anyway for ~reasons~?? like is this why the skin graft came off my own other leg? That whole patch looks 100 years old to this day)

Im sure some people wouldnt want their organs to go to us and we wouldnt want our organs to go to them, so if thats keeping a LOT of ppl from donating, shouldnt there be some sort of proviso element in place, even nominally? ("Nominal stuff" and corpse part harvestings go together like dish and spoon apparenty)

If you can opt in and out of being a donor at all, why are there no further options for people who want more things about their donorship specified. Eg "fine with donated organs going to gender affirming care for cis OR trans people", "just not the eyes, not to anybody", "no consent for donation of organs to ppl who said none of their organs could go to trans ppl" etc

We're not doctors, we're not under any oath to provide universal care (which, you guys suck at that, some hospitals are riddled with malpracticing eugenecists) which is why we get to decide to be donors or not. Make the system better and more people will take part. Its like you dont want organs unless we're philosophically on board with your secular views of the body as spiritually null meat on a platter. Its like the system makers want to punish us for being choosy about donating instead of soooo unnnnqualifiebly objective like they are when it comes to others lives 🙄😒

If i was more seflishly paranoid than religiously motivated, i wouldnt be registered for organ donation either; some cop or friend-of could just walk up and merc me for being on disability and being decadent and gay and satanic and all that. And then theyd claim my body was evidence and that the evidence got lost and theyd eat me, the pigs

Theyd all laugh that in bc you feed whores to the pigs, that we're best fit for pig food

Im not being dramatic, piglevel operators would easily have access to the information that ive "engaged in prostitution" just like anyone that whatever falsehood purveyor, whatever pied piper, said was so evil and unworthy of life. You must not believe youll be haunted, you must really think God's on your side; me too! "Then there's a pair of us"! so which of us is wronger? Ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

Theyd be scared of my organs taking people over, so theyd fail to save even those lives, theyre exceptionally stupid like that

Those falun gong people are very insistent that involuntary organ harvesting is a highway to motivated execution...im fascinated that the fash would accuse anyone else of it when they're the ones doing regular murders squarely along ~oooohhhhh soooo coincidental~ "social hygiene" lines...and nominally throwing the organs away!! Not fit to harvest they say! But that just makes them madder. They get so triggered thinking that while theyre toiling away, humbly making huge money and getting free stuff and wide acclaim, other people are getting .000000001 of a cent from them every year to not die in the street and the demonic busy-idiocy-pantomime-addicts keep dragging them back to deaths door anyway because WHY, daddy issues? Both shoulders just have angry nuns with rulers on them????

"You did butt stuff so your organs are too icky for me to benefit from and thats your fault for being misbehaved! I MAKE PERFECT SENSE!"

Like they really think they do, theyll give you the whole story if you give them half a chance. Have fun.

Citizens should be assessing degree of fashiness plus relative power of authority (licence-to-kill privilege), and making up their minds about the big either-or BBQ at which so many see us poised to arrive. Dont let the crowd around you get too thin, folks, survivor bias is a rotten thing in a psychopathic paradigm.

There shouldnt BE people so fully above the law that they can run people over and not think twice about consequences. "Internally review" my fucking ass, eh. We should drag that one out into the street and run HIM over, he's "not worth much" in MY universe.

Just my opinion 🤷

I guess we could be nice and re-educte him but he'd probably get hella depressed/suicidal so its like, thats just torture basically. In many cases i find myself doubtful of reform. If we're not killing them we have to devote considerable effort/resources to monitoring them; are they so merciful, would they be? Theyll winkle and wriggle and try to regain hegemonic sway, always working against progress. Where is mercy getting us: a more humane future? Or two steps back from getting there for every step forward. Anyone remember the great leap forward? Panache.

Sorry, thats my shoulder Mao

#trans stuff #acab

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transmascissues · 3 years

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im transmasc myself and while i agree w the stuff in your pinned readmore thing im a little confused on how we are supposed to have grown up inherently different from cis women, or how our dicomfort with our gender is somehow innately different because we came to the conclusion we are men or otherwise trans. i dont think i completely agree. i think a lot of cis women go through much of the same, and possibly the exact same, discomfort we do because being interpreted as girls in society, or being dfab, is a difficult experience for most, especially for people who are gnc.

i think it really comes down to how we decide we are going to label ourselves or whether we pursue medical transition? a cis woman may be dysphoric in the same way we are, but decide she is not trans and is going to try to be comfortable with her body the way it is for whatever personal reason. she wont face the same stigma we do navigating society as transmasculine people, but we dont have to have an innate difference from her for our identities and our systemic oppression to be real, ykwim? like i can share the exact same thoughts and experiences as someone who decided they werent trans and still be trans myself, because being trans is an action i have taken to treat my dysphoria. i dont have to not feel like other girls (not saying this in a demeaning way just phrasing it like the post you made)

here's the thing: being trans as someone who was afab is about WAY more than just discomfort with being seen as women

first of all, it's not just about the discomfort - my experiences of gender euphoria are far more indicative of my gender experience as whole than my dysphoria is - sure, a cis woman could feel uncomfortable with what being perceived as a woman is like, but do they feel the same absolute joy when they're called a boyfriend or a brother or a dad or when they see their name next to "mr"? do they feel like everything in their life just makes more sense when they fit into it as a genderqueer man (in my case), or do they just not like what it means to fit into it as a woman? because there's a big difference

my point is, at the end of the day, it is impossible for me to have the "exact same thoughts and experiences" as a cis woman because those thoughts and experiences include Not Being A Woman, so anyone who shares my exact thoughts and experiences is necessarily not a cis woman

i think the real problem here is that you're viewing transness purely as a series of actions (social transition, legal transition, medical transition, etc)

sure, it might be that to you, but for the majority of trans people, it's so much more than that - i'm not trans in order to treat my dysphoria, i'm trans because my gender isn't the one i was assigned at birth, and that would be true regardless of what actions i take, because for me and most other trans people, transness as an identity and transitioning as an action are two separate (albeit often closely related) things

sure, our experiences don't HAVE to be innately different from cis women's for them to be valid, but that doesn't change the fact that (at least for most of us) they still are innately different - sometimes things are just true even if they don't need to be

and i would caution you to be VERY careful generalizing the idea that being trans is nothing more than a treatment for dysphoria, because that's the exact logic a lot of t/er/fs use to argue that we should just find "other treatments" (aka usually conversion therapy) and not let anyone transition

and on top of the t/er/f issue, this logic also suggests that discomfort is the main experience of being trans, which allows cis people to keep portraying it as a mental illness / generally bad thing, and also fucks over anyone who wants to transition to achieve euphoria even if they don't have the associated dysphoria (for example, i'm not dysphoric about my lack of facial hair but i AM euphoric when i see myself with facial hair so one of my transition goals is getting some facial hair - it doesn't matter that i'm comfortable without it because i would be even more comfortable with it and that's what SHOULD matter)

to give you a somewhat simplified answer to your question: our discomfort with womanhood is different from a cis woman's because our discomfort is part of a much larger internal experience of a different gender, and theirs likely wouldn't be solved by living as a different gender because that wouldn't align with their internal experience (as evidenced by the cis women who have transitioned and later realized it wasn't the right path because that wasn't the real source of their discomfort), so while the discomfort might feel the same on the surface, it comes from a different place and will have different experiences attached to it

#ask answered

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the-ghost-king · 3 years

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you have any nico headcanons where he’s ftm trans but then realizes he’s also nonbinary (he/they/she)? just struggling with gender identity lately ig.

Alright, anon, I hope these help you some, my gender has been rather ~~~ lately, if that makes any sense... I would also like to remind everyone to bind safely and if you need resources on how to safely bind without a binder feel free to reach out to me:

Nico always just knew he was a boy, dresses were a no-go, couldn't stand to wear anything that wasn't undeniably boys clothes

In the beginning Maria thought maybe it was just a texture problem, but when Nico was three she came home to see him cutting all of his hair off she knew it was deeper

This is why they ended up moving to America eventually, Maria decided that if they started over then Nico would be able to be himself

Bianca named him on the way over, she liked the name because they were "winning" by leaving Italy

Nothing really signifigant happens in regards to Nico and his gender through this point, he is able to play freely with other boys, and he goes to school with them and such

The same in the Lotus Hotel, nothing signifigant

When he and Bianca go to Westover Nico is kind of scared the whole time, because he is worried about being "caught", changing for afterschool soccer games and having communal shower spaces at the school is difficult for him to feel comfortable

He usually tries to shower late at night or early in the morning when nobody is around, and that works out okay for him

His chest starts developing around this point and he freaks out, he has no clue how to hide it or how to deal with the new stress

He ends up trying to find Bianca one day, and they do all sorts of crazy stuff to see if they can help, eventually they figure out how to use a piece of cloth they sew together

When Nico ends up at camp alone without Bianca, there's the problem once again of communal showers and they're rarely ever empty

This is how he befriends the Stolls

At some point the pair of them notice Nico is weirdly panicky about the bathrooms so they go stand outside and keep people out when Nico's in there... It's honestly how they perfect their pranking techniques

When Nico runs away from camp upset, just the day before his binder had quit fitting and he had been upset by that because he had to make a binder again

Although his sister dying pushed all other thoughts out of his head, the emotions from previous events were still leftover

This is why he buys his jacket TM, because the layers help hide his chest more and the weight is comfortable

At some point during the Labrynth he ends up binding with ace bandages (AN: Don't do this)

He also starts his period at some time around this point and kind of freaks out "oh no" and it's not entirely that his period bothers him, but more so that he just doesn't know how he's supposed to hide it

He also realizes at some point around here that he likes Percy, which makes him feel odd and more freaked out

He's struggling because "boys are supposed to like girls" and also he's struggling because if most boys oon't have periods and he does... why doesn't his bother him?

Despite Nico himself being trans, he doesn't have the vocabulary to describe anything he's going through, and he doesn't know there's other trans people, or even queer people of any sort

So he sort of begins to question "am I really a boy?" but there's so much going on in the world and he's got so much to do, so he can't really devote much time to thinking about it

Everything continues about canonically until he's in the jar after Tartarus

During a fight with a monster or something he was knocked over, and combine this with the fact that Nico was binding with ace bandages, he definitly breaks a rib

Which makes breathing with little air a lot harder

Eventually he's saved and through ambrosia and nectar Nico manages to heal his ribs a little

He isn't able to bind that whole time though, so he does his best to keep away from The Seven

After Cupid outs him to Jason, Jason asks a few days later if he wants to talk about it, at first Nico is like "no go away I don't like you don't talk to me"

But eventually he opens up to Jason, because Jason was like "I'm sorry you had to do that I promise I won’t tell anyone and if you want to talk we can talk"

Anyhow eventually Nico kind of just breaks down and he's like "I don't know if I'm a boy or a girl? I think I used to be a girl, but now I am a boy and I don't really remember how it happened” or something similar

It takes Jason a moment but eventually he’s like “Oh you’re trans?”

And Nico;s like “heh? What’s that?

And so him and Jason talk, but Jason is only kind of well versed in this topic, so he only covers “basic” MtF and FtM transition because he doesn’t really know enough about other genders to feel comfortable explaining it

And Nico’s like “there’s people? Out there?? Like me??” and he’s just Happy Nico ™

Nico is like “and there are people like me who like boys?”

And Jason is like “Yeah totally!” but internally he’s like (I think so??)

Anyhow Nico feels a little better, but he doesn’t feel perfect, he’s still struggling a little bit internally to recognize that there’s other people like him and he’s not wrong for being him

Anyhow, Jason doesn’t know enough about this stuff to know binders exist, Jason just has a little bit of secondhand information from tv shows and from being from California… He promises he’ll look into various things more when he’s back at camp or has decent access to internet

On Nico’s quest with Reyna and Hedge he obvious evaporates Bryce, and Reyna and Hedge find out

They find out he’s gay as in canon, but they realize he’s trans when caking him in mud

Hedge just goes into dad mode about the situation and is like “son”, “sport”, “kiddo”, “my male child” etc

Reyna knows a little more about trans stuff than Jason, but she’s kind of in the same “ehhh I’m not really sure of a few things” boat, but she’s supportive and she’s like “I will beat anyone who gives you a dirty look up so fast”

Eventually they get to camp, and all that happens

Three days in the infirmary happens, and basically Nico has to tell Will for medical reasons that he’s trans because Nico needs stitches or something

Anyhow Will is like “Oh yeah cool me too, can you take your binder off now?”

And Nico is like “heh???”

Anyhow Will finds out Nico is binding with ace bandages and he’s like “no, don’t do that” and then he goes and finds a proper binder in Nico’s size which he gives to him after his stay is up

When they befriend one another they have a short conversation about gender and Will is discussing like gender theory 101 type stuff, and he’s like “wait why dont you know this- oh yeah you’re from the thirties- wait do you even know what nonbinary means??”

And Nico is just staring at Will like he has three heads for the whole conversation

So Will teaches Nico about gender and pronouns, and gender presentation vs gender identity, etc

And so Nico goes “wait so there are people like me who are also gay?”

And Will is like “I like boys and girls and everything in between so yeah”

And the whole enby thing doesn’t really stick with Nico at that point he’s just like “hmm interesting, so testosterone?”

It’s just not his biggest concern, he’s just happy to know there are in fact others like him, and no he’s not crazy for not being dysphoric over his period, and that’s normal too

And he’s just like “oh so that’s top dysphoria?”

And Will is like “yeah :/”

“Oh :/”

“Mhmm :/”

Anyhow they become like good friends and they start dating sort of on accident, like they’re too close to just argue they’re friends anymore, and at some point Will just shows Nico how to give him a T shot and it’s like chill, they’re chill

Anyhow one day someone is kind of confused by Nico’s gender so they use the word “they” and it makes Nico really happy for some reason, so he goes back to Will and he’s like “tell me about this whole nobinary thing again?”

And Will is like “yes absolutely”

And Nico goes “I think I might be nonbinary can we try new pronouns?”

And so they go through all sorts of new pronouns, and Nico decides he still likes he/him but he also likes they/them and xer/xem… They likes she/her too but Nico finds it too uncomfortable sometimes because it reminds him of dysphoria

Nico decides xyr uncomfortable with using she/her but they like using female gendered terms so he does that

(Listen, I know Will saying “this is my boyfriend” was a big moment but Will calling Nico his “wife” is 10/10)

Nico’s friends are all super supportive and they do their best to learn more about gender and such things in order to better support and care for Nico

They all use different pronouns for xem and some people alternate pronouns too, but Nico knows that takes more practice

But it’s just like good and positive in Nico’s life

And he begins to play with fashion a lot and xe finds out xyr love of skirts with tights and combat boots because it’s 10/10 the best fashion

Nico also loves their big jackets and they just looks so comfy all the time everyone is like “I want to be him” and Nico grows their hair out long again, and gets his ears pierced and xe’s just a nonbinary fashion icon

They are just so cool once they figure out gender more and Nico’s just happy to play around with xyr gender and he just enjoys it

Will doesn’t play around with gender so much, he’s 100% a binary trans guy but T helped make him comfortable enough in his femininity to wear skirts a little bit on the occasion (Will in a cat maid dress 10/10), but heels and skinny jeans for some reason are still big dysphoria triggers for him so he does have some limits on what he’ll wear

Will gets top surgery when he’s like 17 because Naomi is an extremely supportive parent

So that’s how Nico meets Will’s mom and she’s like “it’s so nice to finally meet you!” and Naomi just immediately falls in love with xem and Will is like “I know they’re amazing”

And Nico is just really supportive and they sort of role reverse and Nico plays nurse while Will recovers from top surgery and they has to like brush his teeth and stuff

The experience (despite the fact that Will had an easier recovery) assures Nico in how much he wants top surgery, and he’s sad he’ll have to wait another year until he’s 18 to get it done

Anyhow Hades finds out and agrees to sign the wavers, so once Will is healed up enough to wear he can put his own clothes on and stuff, Nico decides to go through with xyrs own top surgery then too

Reyna comes to help Will take care of Nico, and Jason does too

Originally Will was supposed to help more with Nico’s care but he wasn’t able to do as much as he thought so they had to phone their friends

Eventually they both heal up really well and they’re happy to be done with that

Nico spends time debating testosterone, while Will spends time debating lower surgery

During this time Nico starts art school and Will starts medical school

Meeting more nonbinary people makes Nico feel at home and he determines that xe doesn’t want to go on testosterone but it’s still a maybe in the future

Will however decides he does want lower surgery, so Will and Lou Ellen decide to get lower surgery together as friends so they can share in the pain (Lou Ellen is a trans woman as far as I’m concerned this is canon)

Nico takes some time off to do school from home so he can help the two of them, and Naomi comes to live with them as well for a bit

Will and Nico both finish school eventually and they decide to adopt trans kids to help them out more

Anyhow, I hope you enjoy all of that anon! I'm all ideaed (idea-ed??) out and so I hope this is at least similar to what you were looking for, and this is helpful with your dysphoria somewhat <3

#anon #Asks #nico di angelo #pjo #hoo #will solace #solangelo #i tried to keep it mostly Nico centric

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buggre-alle-this-for-a-larke · 4 years

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So I do not ship wolfstar. In fact if you follow me you’ll know that I’m pretty damn vocal about disliking it, But I love the marauders and its incredibly difficult to find marauders content that doesn’t include (or in fact centre itself around) Wolfstar. What gets my goat is people saying that Wolfstar is canon or at least theres enough basis for it in canon, simply because I disagree. I’ve never really thought about exactly why I don’t ship Wolfstar and Lockdown is getting to me HARD today lads. I need something pointless to distract me, so I’m going to do that now;

(DISCLAIMER; THIS IS NOT TO SAY I THINK IT’S WRONG TO SHIP WOLFSTAR OR THAT I OR ANYONE ELSE CAN EVER POLICE YOU LIKING WHAT YOU LIKE. SHIP WOLFSTAR? COOL! DONT? COOL! I’M JUST CHUCKING MY THOUGHTS OUT THERE AND LIKE THIS IS REAL OLD THOUGHTS RIGHT SO LIKE FUCK IT, IT DOESN’T MATTER. Also JK can suck my dick so really do what you like, ship whoever you want to and remember that trans rights are human rights)

1.) I’m going to start at the very beginning with what I think is probably the key reason I just cannot see Wolfstar, and say that the dynamic of the marauders changes significantly if you add in a Remus/Sirius relationship storyline. The main reason for this is because we know that two of the marauders were closer to each other than the other two - But that was quite clearly James and Sirius. Take the photo Harry finds on Sirius’ wall :

“To Sirius’ Right stood Pettigrew…. flushed with pleasure at his inclusion to this coolest of games, with the much admired rebels that James and Sirius had been. On James’ left was Lupin, even then a little shabby looking, but he had the same air of lighted suprise at finding himself liked and included” - DH CH10

It highlights the fact that it was always James&Sirius and then Remus and Peter. Sirius’ entire story arc is driven by his love of James and the fact that James was the most important person in Sirius’ life. He offered him family and shelter (and a mate to pick on people with) and was ‘the best friend he ever had’. Everything he does for Harry stems not from an immediate love for him, but from the all powering love he always had for James. Multiple characters point this out throughout OotP when they say that Sirius is acting like he has James back. To say that Remus knew Sirius better, and was closer to him, just doesn’t make sense in terms of the story canon and takes away from James and Sirius’ bond.

2.) Remus does not trust Sirius.

Sirius tried to use Remus as a tool to frighten, or possibly murder, a kid he didn’t like. Remus and Sirius are undoubtably close, and so in theory Sirius would know that one of Remus’ biggest fears was always that he would bite someone and make them live as he does. Sirius would also know the lengths that Remus would have to go to keep his illness a secret whilst at school and decided to tell the very person who despised Remus like it was no big deal. We don’t know what would have happened if James hadn’t stepped in, but we do know that Dumbledore refers to it as saving Snape’s life so we can infer that Snape would have been killed by the werewolf he met down there, and therefore Remus would have been probably punished (and I bet not fairly).

We also know that having done this, and presumably seen the impact it had on Remus, Sirius shows absolutely no remorse;

“ Black made a derisive noise. ‘It served him right.’ he sneered. ‘sneaking around, trying to find out what we were up to’ “ POA CH18

I think this lead Remus to be able to fully believe that Sirius betrayed James -after all he’d betrayed him in the highest possible way hadn’t he? He spent 12 years believing Sirius to have joined Voldemort - I think if they were together there would be no way this would have happened.

3.) Sirius didn’t trust Remus.

We never find out exactly why Sirius believes Remus to be the one selling them all out to Voldemort, maybe it’s because the only other option was Peter or maybe it’s because Voldemort has promised Werewolves equal rights and he thinks that Remus would actually go for it. It could have been both. Either way, Sirius not trusting Remus is the reason they end up in the mess they’re in with having Peter as the secret keeper instead of himself, Remus or Dumbledore.

Again, If they were together I really doubt this would be the case.

4.) Sirius leaves everything to Harry. In his will, Sirius leaves absolutely everything to Harry. His money, his house, his house elf, everything in that house goes to Harry - and whilst I think that’s fair in the long run, giving your entire fortune to your godson who is already a millionaire opposed to your impoverish partner seems truly harsh and just doesn’t make sense. Although we know that Lupin must have a house somewhere “Lie low at Lupins” {GoF Ch 34}, we also know that when Dumbledore came to offer Remus the DADA position he was living in a semi derelict cottage. After being out of work for 2 years when Sirius died, we can presume that his housing situation might not be the most stable and his finances are absolutely not.

“Harry remembered how much shabbier Lupin looked these days and his dislike of Umbridge deepened even further” OotP Ch12

If they were together at the time of Sirius death, as many believe, then I can’t imagine Sirius not leaving Remus anything at all given the circumstances.

5.) Sirius is incredibly insensitive to Remus’ condition.

Even if you disregard the Snape Prank situation, Sirius is a dick to Remus;

“‘ I’m bored’ said Sirius. ‘ Wish it was full moon’ ‘You might’ Said Lupin darkly from behind his book. “ OoTP CH28

From what Lupin says in PoA, we can gather than transforming in to a werewolf is incredibly painful and extremely unpleasant even with his friends around. He HATES it. But Sirius doesn’t seem that bothered because he gets a fun adventure out of it. Even as just friends Sirius lack of care over this fact unsettles me, but if this was supposed to be a relationship it’s absolutely wild.

6.) Remus ends up with Tonks.

Of course, not everyone ships these two and that’s cool, but I think Tonks is rad. Bisexual Power Couple anyone? I think my reasoning for preferring this ship over Wolfstar is that I’d much rather poor Remus be with someone who would continuously repeat that is he enough if that’s what it takes to get him to believe it, opposed to a relationship fraught with mistrust and betrayal. Remus and Sirius were absolute ride or die friends and would do anything for each other, but as a couple it would have been disastrous.

I think the man has suffered enough, let him have this one.

#Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #nymphadora tonks #Anti Wolfstar #I guess I should tag that #once again absolutley no hate #Im just bored and need something to do with my hands #Also I dont think either sirius or Remus are straight because c'mon

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