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peterparkersnose · 1 year

Text

Three Years

pairing: Javi Pena x reader

word count: 1.7k

warnings: anxiety, reader has a child, angst if you squint, re connection of the two characters, reader has a liking of photography, out of character javi but who cares (i crave this man domestically)

a/n babies! the pedro wave recently has me worried. i dont want them to make him into eddie munson/joe quinn bc i cannot loose pedro (ive been a fan since march ‘22) and i will be heartbroken if it becomes embarrassing to stan this wonderful man. tell me he doesnt look good in that gif god damn. any narcos inaccuracies I apologize I havent watched it since the summer

summary Javi reconnects with his former fling (the ambassador’s daughter) and finds out a secret

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read time: 6 mins 15 seconds

His palms were sweating. Maybe it was the Texas heat, or maybe for once in his life Javier Peña was actually nervous.

He sat parked on the busy street of San Antonio trying to muster up the courage to knock on your door.

2213 Ace Street, San Antonio, Texas. Y/N.

The crumpled up post it note Steve had hastily written your address down on. It was his final goodbye gift to Javi, handed over to him secretly through a handshake.

Javi figured he pulled it from a classified document. You were the ambassador to Colombia’s daughter anyways, it’s not like your address would just be laying around in the Colombian embassy.

He felt a bit out of place in the expensive neighborhood. Everyone around seemed to glare at him in his tight jeans. Maybe it was all in his head, he wasn’t sure. Anxiety seemed to overshadow his unbeatable confidence that day. He stared at the house numbers trying to figure out which one was yours.

2205, 2208… 2211

2213

Your townhome was nice. Natural brick house, a bit large for just yourself.

After all these years, you have had to move on. Three years with no contact. There was no way you were still single. And the size of this house was just living proof that you had moved on.

Three years. Javi stood with his hands on his hips, glaring down the avenue at the setting sun. When the secret relationship was exposed, it had all been swept under the rug. The facade of close friends the two of you had been putting on was figured out by your father. One of Javi’s biggest regrets was letting you leave and go back to the states. He didn’t want to admit it then, but he knew.

He was in love.

Three years. Javi couldn’t believe it.

He swallowed sharply. Three years, he had to at least see you. Be in your presence one more time, even if it was just to say a proper goodbye. The crumpled up post it returned to his pocket as he made his way up your steps.

The doorbell was an antique painted white; typical for these upscale neighborhoods. He rung it, and prayed you weren’t home.

His stomach dropped when he heard your sweet voice.

“Coming!”

The door whistfully opened. Your hair was tied back and you had an apron on over your outfit. Flour was smeared over the apron along with other various baking ingredients Javi couldn’t name.

Your expression fell from ‘I think my package I ordered is here’ to a face Javi couldn’t even explain. Confusion mixed with such an unannounced wave of hurt.

Silence and stares became the moment as your soft radio in the background ended its song and switched to a commercial.

“Hi,” Is all that he could manage to say. He let out a breathe of air he had felt like he had been holding for years.

“H-hi.” you stuttered, giving him one more glance to make sure this was real.

“What are you doing he-” you began to say, but you were interrupted.

“Mommy!” said your son, trotting in from the kitchen to find the two of you standing there. Your back stiffened as you took in a sharp breath. “The cakes, there big! Too big.” the child exclaimed, waving his hands in the air to tell the story.

“Shit, Grant!” you scolded your son, scooping the boy up in your arms and whisking him back to the kitchen.

“One second, Javier!” you called from the kitchen. His stomach seemed to turn at the use of his name. His full name.

He stood dumbfounded at your door. So you had moved on.

Javi slowly entered your house. Pictures hung on your wall; he recognized one from a date he took you on. He hated hiking, but the beautiful sights were just too good to miss in Colombia. He could see the corner of the picnic blanket in the photo, remembering the nice time together. Pictures of the boy were hung, of course. Baby photos and photos looking like they were taken yesterday of Grant were in various frames around the house.

His heart stopped when he saw the one picture sitting on your fireplace. An easy one to miss, but he spotted it.

You, himself, Steve, and Connie all smiling at the bar you used to frequent. Wouldn’t your spouse be mad about those pictures being on display?

“I see you let yourself in,” you said, entering the room once again. “I can go, I’m sorry but… you still have these?” he asked. Your eyes widened as he mentioned leaving.

“Your welcome to stay, please, have a seat if you’d like.” you offered, taking off your apron and hanging it on a hook. Javi could sense your shock. “Wouldn’t your husband be upset? I mean with our history…”

“No husband.” you said with a tight lipped smile. “Just me and Grant.”

“Your son?” Javier asked, looking down the hallway leading to your kitchen. There he saw the boy peeking out behind the wall. Once they made eye contact, he gasped and retreated the kitchen.

“How did you find me?” you asked, ignoring the question. “I… had help?” he said, trying not to throw Steve under the bus. He took the post it note out of his pocket and handed it to you. “Steve’s handwriting,” you chuckled to yourself. His distinct chicken scratch was hard to not recognize.

“I saw that you finally got that bastard,” you scoffed. “I was so relieved when I saw Escobar was killed on the news. It was strange, though. Seeing you and Steve through a screen.”

“Yeah,” Javi awkwardly laughed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Would you like to meet him?” you asked, biting the bullet. “Escobar?” Javi asked, furrowing his brow in confusion. “No,” you chuckled, turning around to see your snooping son again.

“C’mere,” you said sweetly, giving into the child’s interest in this stranger.

Grant came running and hit your form so hard you almost fell forwards on your knees. “Careful baby,” you chuckled, caressing his dark brown hair as he hid behind your legs.

“This is Javier,” you introduced your son to the mysterious man.

“From stories?” Grant asked, peeking out behind your legs. “Yes, baby. Like from the stories.”

Javier’s heart seemed to drop. This kid has heard stories about him before? No father around, no husband? Tell me why this kid was starting to look more and more like his mother.

He didn’t want to admit the very possible truth to himself.

“He got the bad guy?” Grant asked, now holding on to your hand. He was still very obviously weary about Javier. “Mhm,” you said, crouching down next to Grant. “Remember the TV a few weeks ago? When they caught the bad guy?” you asked your son. He looked at Javi intensively.

Your eyes met Javi’s and you felt the guilt consume you. You had to do it; even if the pit in your stomach was about to erupt out in vomit. You had to.

“He’s yours.”

“No,” Javi immediately responded. He didn’t mean to give such a negative response, he was just stuck in a haze in this new reality.

He was a father.

“Your kidding?” he asked, a hand coming to his forehead and sliding down his face. “Your the only guy I slept with in Colombia.”

“What’s his name? Full name,” he asked. “Grant Javier Peña.”

Grant looked up to his mother when she said his name. “He turned two in April,”

A silent tear rolled down Javier’s face as a hand moved to his mouth. It was early January. He had about a two and a half year old son. The little boy that had now moved to playing with action figures on the floor in front of him was his; his own flesh and blood. Half of him, half of you.

“And your father?” he anxiously asked, rubbing his hands together. “He wasn’t pleased. Doesn’t visit much anymore anyways,” you scoffed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he said, trying to keep his tone steady. “I wasn’t allowed. I promise, I begged my father through my whole pregnancy. I tried letters, ways to get to Steve or Connie. Nothing. I had given up hope after his first birthday.”

“And you did this all alone?” he asked you, standing up to embrace you. His hands took yours as you shook your head yes. You bit your lip, trying your best not to cry. You wrapped your arms around his chest and felt his heartbeat. It was beating fast.

“I’m so sorry, mi amor.” he whispered in your ear. “What can I do?”

“Whatever you need to,” you said, breaking the hug. “I know it isn’t easy. It’s a hard decision. I’ve been doing it alone now for almost three years. If you don’t want to be involved, Javi, I completely understand.”

“No, no.” he said. “I… if you’ll have me, I’ll stay.”

“Javi-”

“No questions. My decision, I’m here for you two. Emotionally, financially, whatever you need from me.” “That’s asking too much, just maybe give it some time to think about-”

“I’ve been thinking about you every day for three years, Y/N. I am absolutely sure about my decision.”

“Mama,” Grant asked, turning around to look at the two of you standing above him. “Play?”

Grant approached Javi cautiously, holding a G.I. Joe figurine in his hand. He offered the toy to his father. “Play?” he asked once again. Javier looked to you; you shook your head in approval.

The sight of your son and his father playing together was enough to make you happy for a lifetime.

Javier was cautious. His experience with children was basically non existent. “Who is he?” he asked in his softest voice he could think of. “Joe! This Jack, Jasmine, Kevin, Gumball and…”

Javi listened as his son named off all of his action figures along with some stuffed animals strewn across the room.

You slowly crept to your bedroom where you kept your camera hidden away. Adjusting the settings, you hid behind the couch to get a perfect angle of this moment you never wanted to forget.

Snap!

Both of the boys turned around to see you standing behind the couch. “No picture!” Grant complained, stomping his tiny fist on the ground. A smile spread to Javi’s lips as he saw his son squirm.

“I’m sorry baby. Keep playing.” you said, placing the camera on a desk in the living room.

“Mommy take pictures a lot.” Grant sighed, picking up another action figure and kept on playing.

This was definitely going on your wall.

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bakugohoex · 3 years

Note

Can I request Bakugo’s s/o having a major sweet tooth, like for some reason every time he thinks he got rid of her candy he just finds a handful in her pocket

“you bought more, didn’t you”

pairing: katsuki bakugo x female reader

cw: fluff, language

word count: 1100+

a/n: i dont even know what this is, it is so stupidly funny because it doesnt even make sense, like what the fuck, bruh but i know we all had a faze where toast would just become amazing and avidly eat it 24/7

summary: in which your sweet tooth becomes the bane of bakugo’s life, finding out you house even more sweets in your pockets, his only way to finally get you stop seems to be a bit more different than his initial plan

↞ back to my hero academia masterlist

Lollipops were definitely your go to sweets, you loved sucking on them and the different flavours you had each day brought joy to your mouth. It was easier to suck on them then bite your nails when you became anxious, so you always kept a lollypop with you.

Of course you told Bakugo about it, your reasonings being evident and he had been fine with it, not really caring and as long as you had something to help your anxiety then he was fine with it.

That’s what he thought it had been, until he found the wrappers, the containers filled with different sweets, from the sour worms to the gumdrops.

He seriously could feel his heart ache at the mountains of containers you had, he seriously had to take a double take thinking he’d walked into Charlie and the Chocolate factory.

Surprisingly, there was no chocolate, but the sweets littered your new dorm, your bin filled with wrappers.

That's when he knew he had to sort this problem out, he couldn't watch you eat anymore knowing how much you had already eaten.

He got scary not gonna lie, shouting at the side effects off excessive sugar, made a presentation of just rotting teeth, he made you watch the whole thing with his stupid laser pen as he went around the rotted teeth.

It was gross as fuck, very traumatic.

He helped you a lot to cut down on the sugar with your sweets, wanting you to try and get down to one lollypop a day and that was it.

He tried, but you’d end up buying some more, hell knows where you got the money from.

Threatens you but in the end, it gets to you after he finds the wrappers again and confesses how he just wants the best for you.

You ask for a substitute and this man brings you the worst substitute ever.

It’s when he leaves something that it seems your excessive sugar intake may have finally gone down.

Bakugo had been left waiting outside your dorm as you wore your UA uniform, he never understood how you could wake up so late. But he didn’t question it seeing you walk out happily, your mouth sucking a sweet to calm you down. You had described it like marijuana but without the consequences of it, which he glared at you for saying. Even then your avid sweet tooth had become an insane problem, you may have cut down on the sweets, but you always seemed to get your hands on some.

“Want to try?” You popped the lollypop out from your mouth, your saliva sticking to the purple sweet. Bakugo would regret agreeing knowing having a sugar rush in the morning was not the best bet but if it stopped you from eating it all he’d take it.

He nodded, watching as you put the sweet in his mouth, the white stick being the only thing visible as he sucked on the grape flavouring, still being able to taste your spit mixed in with it.

Walking into class hand in hand, he kept the lollypop in his mouth watching you leave without a trace of sweets on you. You seemed calmer as he watched you sit beside him, well that's until he saw your stuffed pockets. Aizawa had been running late and everybody began conversing with each other, “you bought more, didn’t you.” He mutters stuffing his hand in your grey blazer to find small hard sweets inside the pocket. “Y/n, really, even after my presentation.”

“I just love them so much.” You pouted grabbing them and stuffing them in your pocket.

“Fuck Y/n, please can you calm down with your sugar intake, I don’t want you to die or get rotten teeth.” He threw the lollypop into the bin, just missing Mineta who had bent over to sharpen his pencil. “I want you to be healthy.”

“I am healthy, I just love it so much.”

He gave a glare turning to face you properly, you put your head to side watching his cold red eyes warm at your features. “Just find something else to help you instead, you can't live off sweet things forever.”

“You find me something else and then I'll give it up.” You muttered, popping a hard candy in your mouth just as Aizawa walked in.

Bakugo thought for a while, throughout the whole day event, thinking of foods he knew you liked. Of course having a sweet tooth wasn't a bad thing but you needed a balance to not have type 2 diabetes when you grow old. He continued to think until he found the basic things on google as replacements, by the end of the day, he had sought out what was needed and called you into the kitchen.

“Fruit.” He pushed the bananas and apples into your arms, you gave a confused look taking an apple and biting into it. “I read it’s good or whatever.”

“You read?” You mock.

He glares back at you, “shut up, idiot.” He grabs your hand with the bitten apple and stuffs it back into your face. “Eat it all.”

He seemed content with what he had done, pushing the 3 apples and 2 bananas onto you, not even letting you get a word in. He goes to put some bread in the toaster, hungry after a long day and keeping an eye on your fruits, watching as you just stared at it as if it was some unknown thing.

“Oi Bakugo, help move this.” Kirishima shouts from the common area.

Bakugo gives a scowl before staring at you, “eat.” You mutter profanity before taking another bite, watching as the man leaves for Kirishima. The sound of the toaster finally letting the toast out, even the smell of toast almost became intoxicating, how could you not refuse.

Going over to the two toasts you butter them and that's when it starts, toasting more as you went through the two toast with such ease. It seemed like hours since Bakugo left and with that you had already eaten 5 toasts going onto the sixth.

“What the fuck?” Bakugo stares at the toast in your hand and the missing six slices, staring between you and the toaster. You take another bite, and he continues to give such a blank look, “fruit?”

“Toast?” You question back taking another bite, Bakugo comes up to you grabbing one of the fruits after you'd eaten all the bread and gives a glare. “I like bread now.

“Of course you do baby.” He mutters ruffling your head as you continue to chew on the toast happily. He might hate how you’d gotten onto another food craving but at least you had variety and weren't going to die of a heart attack from it all. “You really are an idiot.”

“Shut up, want some?” You spoke like a child with only one bite left he opened his mouth, watching as you put the buttered toast in his mouth, your fingers graving against his lips as he was to just lick the butter off your fingers, a satisfied face that he had finally gotten to you.

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

if you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and i’ll add you xx

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la5t-res0rt · 4 years

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Wanted to ask about beetlelyds, sorry, I thought it was technically cannon? Like in the old comics after the show ended she grew up and married him. Sorry I’m an old school fan and have no idea why this whole thing is such a big deal. Wasn’t the actor like 20 too? I’m sorry if I sound very dumb. I’m not used to this new tumblr.

youre fine you are one hundred percent allowed to especially when you do it civilly as you have done here

first of all the biggest issue faced in the whole what is and is not canon debate is the fact that there are three (four if you count the limited comics run) publicized iterations of my media

i will go over each very briefly just kidding this is going to a long answer so i will spare the dashboard with a readmore

there is the movie which im sure you dont need me to explain the plot since youre an old school fan but basically the climax is that yes beetlejuice does go for the marriage angle in exchange for stopping the exorcism of adam and barbara and his motive for this is so that he can cause as much chaos as he wants on the mortal coil but his plan is thwarted when barbara rides a sandworm into the house which promptly eats beetlejuice sending him to bureaucratic death limbo

the end of the movie features the deetz and the maitlands happily living together with lydia havign a new appreciation for her situation and beetlejuice gets his head made real small which is very funny haha

so no in the movie they are not canon editors note the actress who played lydia winona ryder was a teenager while filming the movie she turned 17 the year it released

the next is the cartoon which i will admit has the most grounds for being considered canon but in the end the show is about a middle schooler and her best friend who is a ghost which in itself is a pretty iffy gray area sort of thing but for a childrens cartoon to work a friendship is better than the obvious enemy status they held in the movie

anyway in the cartoon they are potrayed to be very close friends with lydia being the person beetlejuice cares about the most and honestly if you were to watch it with no prior knowledge of the media and if you ignored their massive and obvious age difference than yeah you probably would read it as a romantic relationship

however lydia is a middle schooler and that is simply immoral

there have been writers for the cartoon who have been credited to say that a relationship is what they were trying to invoke but for obvious reasons they couldnt exactly move forward with that angle with them establishing that lydia is a child in middle school and a fully grown adult man dating a child who is in middle school is immoral and also illegal in the united states and in canada

this isnt a good argument for whether or not something is canon and i will tell you why with one simple name and that is luke weber

if you dont know who luke weber is he was a storyboard artist on the cartoon steven universe he is known for making a lot of self ship artwork of him and the character pearl

he worked on the show isnt his material canon no of course it isnt it wasnt put in the actual publication and also if memory serves he was eventually asked to leave the project after he drew art of the shows creator giving him permission to date pearl and calling them her otp and a lot of fans hated this because the most generally accepted interpretation of pearls character is that she is sapphic so a lot of people took issue however that again is just a widely perceived headcanon it is never stated what her actual sexuality is no one in that show is because it isnt a show about that its about wait im getting off topic sorry

what im saying is what can truly be considered canon is what you see on the screen and with the cartoon they are definitely the most friendly with each other and that is why so many people in the beetlebabe shipping community take so much stock in the cartoon because it is the easiest to read the relationship between the mas romantic although that is not what the show actually provides in black and white terms

interpretation does not equal canon and in this case no matter what anyone says the fact remains that in the cartoon itself they are friends good friends yes but friends all the same

it is definitely not a show about a grown man grooming an adult and if it were you definitely shouldn’t be stanning it the extreme because grooming a minor is wrong and it is apparently a problem in the fandom

anyway if the cartoon and the movie are both products of their time and there was more leniency on content bear in mind this was the same era as notorious animation powerhouse and known predator john k who was a showrunner on ren and stimpy and he maintained a relationship with a teenager which was an open secret that nobody really took issue with because in that time being a woman in the animation industry was tricky business and your career could be ended easily if you rejected advances luckily time has moved forward and the animation industry although still full of problems of a similar nature at least people are getting called out and punished for it

you can look more into that yourself its really upsetting though

as for comics i havent been able to find good scans of them and im not willing to purchase them but in my search i never found anything about the two of them ever being married in the cartoon again because she is a child i did find a cover where he appears to be getting married and hes asking lydia to get him out of it but im not sure where the comic actually goes all i know is she is standing off to the side shrugging and looking like she doesnt really care

anyway that brings us to the musical which is set in the modern day

in the original libretto lydia is described as thirteen but since they got an actress who was older in the updated librettos she is listed as 15 and the story is pretty similar to the movie the young girl befriends ghosts and they try to scare her family out etc etc

the major difference between the film and the musical are that lydia and beetlejuice are more like friends like in the cartoon

she summons him to help scare after the maitlands attempt doesnt really work so he shows up and they have fun terrorizing people together however she drops him for the opportunity to perhaps get her mom back but when no one will help she goes back to beetlejuice who tricks her into almost exorcising barbara

she agrees to marry him in order to stop the exorcism and he only wants to get married so he can be alive again and cause problems on the mortal coil like in the movie in the musical he states several times its a green card thing whihc obviously doesnt make it okay but still

anyway lydia tricks him and runs off into the underworld before the wedding can happen blah blah blah she goes back blah blah and she agrees to go through with the wedding to save her friends and family with a plan to make him go away for good

theres a very tongue and cheek song called creepy old guy which points out how wrong the whole thing is but everyone is going along with it in a very comedic matter and it includes the line

i cant believe some cultures think this kind of things alright

basically saying yeah this is very very wrong anyway they do get married and beeltjeuice is alive for like 6 seconds before lydia stabs him to death with bad art and he dies thus nullifying the marriage because death do you part etc

so in the musical no at the end of the show they are not canon because he is dead their marriage is nullified and they go their separate ways

anyway sorry about that i just need to make it very clear that these three properties are all very distinct from each other and basically all three are indeed canon since they are publicized material and arguing the validity of which one is pointless editors note all actresses who played with the exception of dana steingold were minors for the majority of their runs as lydia with sophia ann caruso the originator of the role turning 18 during the run and dana being in her late twenties presley ryan however was a minor the whole time and still is one

tldr no they aren’t canon but to the credit of some people in this fandom their interpretation isnt too far of a stretch thanks to the era and some of the writers wishing to imply a relationship between an adult and a child

i also need to address how this is all a big deal and i suggest you take a peak through my discourse tag and check out @leedia‘s blog to see some of the more harmful things done by beetlebabe shippers

the beetlejuice fandom is home to many minors after the musical came out since musical fandom is vast and the ages of its members varies and normalizing pedophilia is harmful to them not to mention the people who have been effected by sexual harassment at the hands of adults

both sides have victims of csa but one side continues to perpetuate the cycle by showing time and time again that this behavior is normal and easily romanticized in the name of coping and literally anyone who has ever been to a good and credible therapist could tell you that posting cp even if it is simulated cp isnt a really good way to cope and you can get mad at me for saying that its totally fine but and im going to remove my character veil here for just a second as a csa survivor myself i think its harmful to not only myself but many others ok the veil is back down

tldr again there is a lot of bullying and harassment going on with both sides having their own issues but there is one side whos issues run a bit deeper in my humble opinion

thank you for your question it allowed me to talk a lot you are welcome to discuss further with me in dms if you wish i honestly recommend giving the musical a listen because it is very fun and despite what some people say its very clever and if you get a chance to see a boot of it its visually stunning

one last note that i couldnt really fit in here but a large portion of the beetlebabes shipping community ignore the musical because it openly condemns the idea of beeltejuice and lydia having a relationship and a lot of the antis take issue with much of the writing and characterizations of the cartoon just a note that i think is important since were talking about canon

#discourse #long ask #i am so tired #Anonymous

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lacehydrangeas · 4 years

Text

edit: UMMMM just realized this never posted and instead went into my drafts. oops.

tagged by @glubbity (kinda) i’ve never done one of these and i thought it would be fun :o)

[instructions: tag ten followers you’d like to get to know better.] if u want to do this consider urself tagged...

gender: female! im cis but i dont mind they/them pronouns. i think gender IS something i need to put more thought into, but for now im comfortable presenting/being seen as a girl

star sign: im a scorpio babey!!! and if you have known me for more than 5 minutes its obvious. i like to think im a posterchild scorpio. my birthday is october 30, 2003, which i think is a very very good day to be born seeing as halloween is my favorite holiday and fall is my favorite season! im pretty excited to be turning 17 this year

height: 5′3 or 5′4 :o/ i wish i was taller SO bad. its been my dream since childhood to be like 6 foot... unfourtantly i think i might be done growing... my curse

sexuality: lesbian! i like girls very much. i used to identify as bi for most of middle school and then after kissing a dude and it making me sick to my stomach so i had a Realization freshman year. i think one of the sillier things that made me realize i was probably a lesbian is that i never felt comfortable doing one of the alignment charts... i would skip over them because something about saying “bisexual” didnt sit right

hogwarts house: i hate this question so fucking much. according to the official harry potter website i am a gryffindor but childhood me was crushed by that so i self-identify as a slytherin

favorite animal: CHINCHILLAS!!!!! i love chinchillas so fucking much... every time we had an animal project in middle school i would do mine on ‘chillas. did you know those guys fur is so thick they literally can’t get in water or they grow mold? thats why they do ash baths! while humans have one hair per follicle chinchillas have 50+ and fleas cant live on them because they would suffocate in the fur! thats why chinchillas r so soft... like little clouds. my second favorite animal would have to be rabbits... love them

average hours of sleep: when school was in session i would go to bed at like 10 and then wake up around 5, but now i go to bed at like 12 and wake up at like 8. so i usually get around 8 hours

current time: 11:13 am! im a California baby

dogs or cats?: god i love both so much but dogs win... both me and my mom r allergic to cats so i’ve never been able to have one but ive had lots of doggies! tigger, jasper, bailey, rosebud, pupcake...and a lot of my relatives have dogs! cats r very cute and sweet though and i love my neighbors cat even though cuddling her gives me hives

number of blankets you sleep with?: when its cold i sleep with two blankets and sometimes my comforter, and when its warm (like rn) i sleep with my thinnest blanket and my air conditioner on high. i can NOT sleep without a blanket and it needs to be cold. i always sleep the worse during summer

dream job?: i want to be a therapist... i want to be able to help people and psychology is so so so interesting to me. other careers i think would be fun: working at a zoo, professional scuba diver, working at one of those museums/activity centers where kids always go for field trips. you know the ones

when i created this blog: i think sometime in 7th grade? so like in 2017 i think? idk math. my first username was “just-a-tired-nerd” which i think is awful

follower count: 134!

why i created this blog: i thought that tumblr was THE place for gay people to go and i wanted to be around fellow homosexuals. also a friend had a tumblr and told me to make one

how i came up with my url: im so bad at usernames so its honestly kinda embarrassing trying to explain it LOL. i wanted a very ~aesthetic~ name (my previous user was aestheticallyjaded) and hydrangeas r my favorite flower! so i thought “ok whats pretty and feminine and also doesnt sound stupid?” and my brain went Lace! very recently i found out that lacecap hydrangeas r a type of hydrangea so i guess it all worked out in the end!

what do you love about yourself? (can’t be something you do for others): i love how true to myself i am! sometimes its a fault but ive always been very open about myself and my feelings. even if it makes me seem weird ive always acted and presented myself how i want to. when i create something (art/writing) i stay true to myself an express what i want to express. shoutout to all my old teachers who had to sit thru my short stories about lesbians xoxo

what kept you going through middle school? if it wasn’t hard, what was it like?: oh god middle school sucked so fucking bad. it was a really weird time of self discovery and absolute misery lol. i remember so many people whispering about me and talking behind my back because i was very open about being gay and it was when i first started getting really depressed. the only thing that really kept me going was art and nice teachers. ive always been a bit of a “teachers pet” so my teachers always liked me and treated me nicely. being able to have that kind of support and leeway really helped.

#aestheticchatter #this was fun... i like talking about myself

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fuckyeahasexual · 6 years

Text

A complete guide to how the asexual community is NOT lying about the pathologization of asexuality and how many aces(even young ones)have had their asexuality tried to be“fixed” and “converted back to normalcy”

Trigger warning : Conversion therapy,abuse

As if the so called ace “”discourse””( which has till now involved aphobes and exclusionists comparing ace people to nazis,pedophiles,white supremacists,slave owners,homophobes, ,talking over ace WOC by white people, telling ace people AND kids to kill themselves,victim blamig and gaslighting ace victims of rape, putting extremely graphic sexual content into asexual tags and sending sexual content to ace minors and adults who are are suffering from sexual trauma even after they told them to STOP ) could not get any worse, we now have these pathetic excuses of human beings accusing ace people of lying about their trauma and abuse just so that they can justify their harassing of ace people.

Im TIRED of seeing these “”highly intellectual people”” keeps repeating bullshit arguments so im gonna make this post addled with appropriate resources and links to handle these two topics:

How asexuality is pathologized

Can the abuse and trauma ace people go through when people try to “convert ace people back to normalcy” and “fix” their asexuality really be called “conversion therapy”?

This is gonna be long,but i hope you will stick with me though this because im going to try as much as possible to make this as source-fuilled and educational for yall. So here we go:

1. Has asexuality really been pathologized?

Short answer,Yes. Many mental health professionals had consideredasexuality an illness throughout history.There are many articles talking about it.Up till 2013, indicators of asexuality like lack of sexual attraction,sexual fantasies towards other people, lack of interest in sex etc were basically classified as Hypoactive sexual desire disorder in the DSM which was revised just to include that all those indicators WOULD be considered as a “symptom” of HSDD unless a person self identified as “asexual” which wasnt much useful since not everyone(especially young people) might know that they are ace and can be pressured by their peers into going through the “treatment” for HSDD .They did the same thing before they removed homosexuality from the DSM.

Heres the long answer :

Throughout history , asexuality has brought out bigots to talk about how “unnatural” it is and how it obviously is a “mental illness/disorder” bc experiencing sexual attraction is always considered an inherent experience to almost all living beings.There are many medical and psychological articles either directly referring to asexuality as a disorder or referring its main indicators like “lack of sexual attraction,sexual feelings towards other people”etc as a mental disorder.

But the most well known instance of pathologization of asexuality is the HSDD (Hypoactive sexual desire disorder).It has been in both The International Classification of Diseases and Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders both which are used by mental health professionals and psychologists to diagnose people.

There was a huge pushback against HSDD by asexual activists bc it categorized all indicators of asexuality like lack of sexual attraction,sexual fantasies towards other people and lack of sexual desire etc as a disorder.As a result, asexuality was officially given an exception in the DSM-V by stating that if a person experiencing all the symptoms of HSDD self ID’d as asexual then they wont be diagnosed with it.This seemed a good enough thing to do and acephobes keep bringing it up to show how “different HSDD is from asexuality” and how “The medical world has “”accommodated”” itself for the comfort of ace people” but this act and the whole concept of a “Hypoactive sexual desire disorder” are considered problematic and have been put through questions not only by ace people, but feminists and activists too . Heres why :

1. The person STILL has to identify as asexual to be not diagnosed.Asexuality still isnt as visible and well known of an orientation so if a person doesn’t know that they’re asexual, the DSM does no work to sufficiently differentiate between these “sexual disorders” and a sexual identity. so it could very well happen that someone who doesn’t know that they’re asexual is convinced by a therapist that they have a sexual abnormality that needs to be corrected(x) .Taking into consideration the fact that a lack of sexual attraction is still seen as a sign of “brokenness” etc , the aphobia ace people face from their peers,how sex is seen an inherent part of one’s relationship and the immense number of ace people who experience internalized aphobia, theres a higher chance of ace people being pressurized into lying about not being ace and being made to go through treatment of HSDD .

2. The asexuality exception is not included in the diagnostic criteria, but a different part of the text. The desk reference version, which is the smaller version most psychiatrists will use because the actual DSM is a monster of a book, only contains the diagnostic criteria. So, unless a doctor is very familiar with the update DSM, you could still be diagnosed despite identifying as asexual. (X)

3.The DSM is put out by the APA, an American organization and is not used internationally in ALL countries.The international appx. equivalent to the DSM is the ICD (International Classification of Diseases) where an exception of asexuality is NOT made like they did in DSM-V. So many countries where DSM-V is not followed are free to diagnose ace people with almost no repercussions.

4.There is till NO distinction made between HSDD and asexuality and all indicators of asexuality are still considered “symptoms” of HSDD. the DSM does no work to sufficiently differentiate between these “sexual disorders” and a sexual identity. so it could very well happen that someone who doesn’t know that they’re asexual is convinced by a therapist that they have a sexual abnormality that needs to be corrected(x) Just putting “All these signs are of HSDD unless a person identifies as asexual” is literally the same as saying “Being attracted to the same gender and/or being attracted to more than two genders is a disorder unless a person identifies as gay/bi”.In fact a very very similar thing was done to homosexuality in the DSM before homosexuality was deleted off entirely as a disorder.

5.Im not even gonna get into the fact that alot of people have pointed out how the big push to keep HSDD in the DSM came from the pharmaceutical companies who need this diagnosis to exist so thatthey can market a drug called Flibanserin and both of these thingshave been called out by both ace as well as non ace feminists bc studies showed it improved very little in terms of sexual satisfaction in its participants and has potentially big risks(x) and MANY women disinterested in sex(weather ace or not) were pressurized to undergo treatment of HSDD and use flibanserin bc of the misogynist belief that women need to put out more than care about their safety white taking it bc thats not the point of this post.

But just for yalls consideration : Just bc there is a disorder in the DSM doesnt mean that its legit.Female hysteria,homosexuality were considered disorders.As an amazing post here said : “until psychology stops operating in terms of “inappropriate behavior” and starts looking at patients’ experiences of symptoms as stressful and unpleasant, it will be an enforcement of ableism first and an aid to the mentally ill last.” . Unless someone goes through some trauma which make them LOSE their capability to feel sexual attraction and desire,i’ll consider any “disorder” which automatically assumes lack of sexual attraction and desire “unnatural”, as doubtful .

So yeah , asexuality still technically remains pathologized and ace people still are at a risk of being diagnosed and being forced/pressurized to undergo treatments which arent usually even that effective and have health risks associated with them.On to the next topic :

2.Can ace people call the trauma and abuse they went through when people tried to “convert ace people back to normalcy” and “fix” their asexuality “conversion therapy”?

First off, Read THIS And THIS. Now,

Short answer,Yes. Maybe they might not be under the threat of going through the EXACT conversion therapy which involves basically torture and is legal in like 36/41 states IN AMERICA but then again, so arent those gay people who didnt/dont/wont be living/going to those 36/41 states IN AMERICA but have/are/will be tried to be “converted back to” straightness by their peers.Any way in which non straight people are forced/pressurized to be converted into straight by so called “professionals” and “medical experts” counts as conversion therapy to me bc at the end of the day it doesnt really matter WHAT word you define it as when those trying to “fix” non straight people’s non straightness view those non straight people as someone who needs “fixing”.

Also, saying that ace people’s experience when their peers were trying to “fix” their asexuality isnt AS bad as what gay people go through when their gayness is tried to be “fixed” is…not a good thing to say.Trauma isnt a competition.Telling a person with a sprained leg that another person has a fractured leg doesnt make the first person’s sprained leg hurt any less

Heres the long answer :

Here is the thing.The most “well known” conversion therapy(and in aphobes’ case,the conversion therapy they keep bringing up to discourage ace people from calling their trauma involving attempts to fix them “conversion therapy” ) is the one which is legal in 36 or 41(The data keeps differing from diff sources) states in AMERICA ONLY and basically involves showing homoerotic images and videos to gay/bi people and inflicting some sort of violence/harm on them when them and/or their mind and/or their body shows any sort of interest on such images till they form an aversion to same gender attraction and other forms of torture.I described it as PG rated as possible but if anyone is interested and is NOT at the risk of being triggered they can read the whole process here(x).

Aphobes keep arguing that since no clinic advertises that they will “convert ace people back to normalcy” ,and even IF some ace person IS forced to undergo treatment of HSDD ,their experience doesnt matches the EXACT amount of abuse and trauma gay people go through during conversion therapy, aces arent “allowed” to call their experiences “conversion therapy”.Now , anyone with common sense and general morality will realize how bullshit this is bc aphobes are just putting their american centric rhetorics over ALL aces in THIS WORLD(bc they are ALWAYS considering the american conversion therapy)but i’ll still just prove how WRONG this argument is :

1.This argument is only AMERICA CENTRIC.Aphobes keep saying that since ace people dont go through the exact conversion therapy which is legal in 36/41 states in america,they cant call it “conversion therapy”.Now america is only one country.There are 193 countries in this world.The “valid”Conversion therapy is only there in america.But HOMOPHOBIA is there in ALL countries of this world.Now, If we consider aphobes’ argument as legit, then it would imply that any gay person who suffered through the trauma and abuse of having their identity turned into “straight” by their peers in any country OTHER THAN AMERICA CANNOT call their experiences “Conversion therapy”.That means all the gay people who faced torture in russia (especially in Chechnya)to be “fixed” cannot call their experiences “conversion therapy”.Gay people in Brazil and Jamaica who are tried to be “fixed” cannot call their experiences conversion therapy.I live in south asia,we dont even HAVE any special places dedicated to “convert” gay people.But there are many instances where gay people are hauled to the nearest “religious medical practitioners” who abuse and torture them for WEEKS to “cure” them.I guess those gay people cant even call their experiences “conversion therapy”.THIS IS HOW RIDICULOUS APHOBES SOUND.

2.Not every ace conversion therapy is caused by going through the treatment of HSDD : There are many ace people who have been told that it was their asexuality ITSELF that was a disorder and went through abusive therapies to “cure” it which led to some people ending up self-isolating until they ended up in a psych hospital and some people felt broken and alone after that(x).Many health professionals simply pass off asexuality as some symptomatic of deeper mental health problem and thus not every ace who might have been tried to be “converted back to normalcy” might have been gone through quite a rough treatment too.

3.Telling people that their trauma isnt “”really that bad”” isnt a good thing.Telling them that their trauma dosent really “”qualify”” enough to be considered “”real”” conversion therapy isnt good.Oppression and traumas arent a competition.The abuse and torture gay people go through during conversion therapy isnt gonna make the trauma ace people go through “better” or less severe.Telling women that “at least they arent being human trafficked and beaten by their husbands everyday like in middle east” isnt gonna make them feel better when they are catcalled or sexually harassed at work.If ace people are tried to be “”fixed”” by being forced/pressurized undergo “” treatments”” by so called “professionals” and “medical experts” , it counts as conversion therapy to me bc at the end of the day, ace people’s orientation is still being seen as “something to be fixed into straightness”.

So yeah, ace people CAN call all the abuse they go through to be “fixed” of their asexuality “conversion therapy”.Now that we are done, here are a few examples of ace people talking about their fears and/or experiences about conversion therapy which i havent provided already

If you really want to respect lgbtqa people who have gone through conversion therapy,try to make this world a better place for lgbtqa people so that their identity isnt seen as something to be fixed.Telling group of people you are bigoted against that they cant call their experiences of tried to be fixed “conversion therapy” isnt gonna do SHIT to help the community you think you are trying to protect.Saying that No ace person has EVER went to conversion therapy bc there are “valid proofs” is disgusting.

Asexuality IS a highly marginalized orientation and all your refutes against it WILL be debunked and shot down bc we have sources and real people’s accounts on our sides which is supported by many prominent lgbtqa organizations across the world.All aphobes have is bigotry and a bunch of followers who eat up whatever they say without applying any critical thinking skills to it.

#aphobia #tw conversion therapy #mod roma #ref #tw abuse #if you want this tagged with more triggers please tell me i will #i dont have time rn coz i gotta do something #imp

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literaphobe · 5 years

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hi michelle! so want to start saying that i identify as bi and honestly, I would LOVE it if jake was bi. I think it'd be great. But i'm also okay if he's not, bc how cool is it that they're allowing a man to break down traditional gender norms/roles! i think one of the greatest parts of loving a show like b99 is that it lets us escape the 'real world' for twenty minutes every week. and that means something different for every person watching the show. 1

SO while i believe you are entitled to your own opinions, and you can share them on your blog bc it's yours, i don't think its fair to invite people to share their opinions but shut down anyone who feels differently than you. for example, you said to someone who said they didn't care if jake was bi that you hope they 'get well soon'. also, you posted saying that if bi people didnt want jake to be bi then they're wrong. im sorry but thats really hurtful. you dont get to decide how people think 2

just bc someone feels differently than you doesnt make their feelings less valid, ESPECIALLY someone who identifies as lgbt+. you run a popular blog and it makes me sad to think people might feel their opinions are less valid or wrong bc they see it here. again, im not saying you cant have opinions or post them. but maybe just think about how your words can affect others. also saying this off anon bc i respect you and am open to having a conversation. Thanks for reading, hope u have a good day

hi. thank you for ur mannerly tone and for having the courage to go off-anon.

mlm/bi representation will always be more important than ‘straight man comfortable with his sexuality’. while i am not saying that straight men in media shouldn’t be portrayed as comfortable in their sexualities, the stance that it’s okay to take away representation from people in the lgbt community as long as we have Good Hets is harmful, and it gives people in the tv/movie industries a cop out. they don’t have to give us more lgbt characters! straight characters who Know What’s Up are good enough to make them seem woke and avoid criticism! and whether you’re comfortable with this happening as an lgbt has nothing to do with it. we have to hold the media accountable, we can’t just settle for less. whether you want to watch b99 uncritically or not is entirely up to you. i get that it’s exhausting to analyze the media content you consume! i more than understand just wanting to escape and not ask for more! it’s tiring! it’s draining! it’s disappointing, it hurts so much and it gets so so lonely. but we can’t just let the world stagnate. progress needs to be made constantly, and shows can’t be made to feel like they can just do one or two good things and not be expected to do anything else! i’m not asking you to fight for this, i just want the acknowledgement that this is the right thing to do

i didn’t exactly... invite anyone to say anything. i truly am just sending my thoughts out into the void. and yes, i am aware that my words reach a wider audience because i have a larger than average follower count. of course i know my words can affect others. that’s what i’m trying to do. aside from getting thoughts out my brain, i want to promote a less passive line of thinking. i want lgbt folk to want better for themselves. unfortunately, because words and actions have responses, people will climb into my inbox and start conversations that i inevitably have to take part in (sometimes i don’t though. it really depends on where my head’s at that day. having to discuss this repeatedly is draining). most of the time, i’m just making a statement

i don’t particularly enjoy “shutting down people who feel differently from me”. usually, if i’ve done that, i really am tired because i’ve likely discussed and explained numerous times whatever it is the person who got shut down said to me. i might also come off as mean-spirited or perhaps aggressive if i know some anon is just trying to pick a fight/spew hate at me. if you don’t understand where i’m coming from/don’t believe why having an opposing stance is harmful (this might vary depending on the issue), i am (given i have energy that day) more than willing to elaborate on whatever it is i say here. if i say stuff like ‘get well soon!’ it is a tired response to something i have already covered in depth and i am making some semblance of a joke to deflect/put a lid on the stuff i really want to say (likely because i have already said it)

i never said that bi people who didn’t want jake to be bi were wrong. i was trying to get them to think deeper and explore why they don’t want that. being lgbt sometimes means that we allow and normalize a lot of unfair treatment. we think that we have it good enough so we decide not to ask for more, to settle. and i will never blame any lgbt for falling victim to this line of thought. we were brought up to think this way, we were conditioned to think this way. acceptance does not equal inclusion, and sadly many of us are so grateful for the acceptance that we do not bother to even think about having inclusion. or, better inclusion, for that matter. of course, it is definitely not up to me to decide how anyone thinks. i’m just trying to convince you! very desperately. but if you don’t agree no matter what i say then what can i do? it’s your life. it doesn’t affect me much in the grand scheme of things. i’m not going to hate you for disagreeing. i’m not going to sic the dogs on you. am i going to be kind of annoyed if someone walks into my inbox, turns on anon, and hurls insults at me? yes, that’s hurtful, and it’s kind of funny sometimes depending on how dumb you sound, but it’s mostly tiring and a lot of pain. so like... read, if u don’t like it, move on, if your well-being is drastically affected from reading the things i say, i’ll tag it so you can blacklist

the sad thing is, being a member of the lgbt community doesn’t automatically make your opinions on lgbt issues valid/unproblematic. internalized homophobia exists. things i described in the point above can lead to this. just because a bi person says ‘im bi! and i don’t care/don’t think bi jake is important!’ doesn’t mean that suddenly, there is no need for him to be canonically bi, that we aren’t being queerbaited/pandered to by the show. do i think that the show is intentionally/heinously queerbaiting us? not exactly. but lack of awareness and lacking understanding on why bi-coding jake w no intention to make it canon is just as harmful bc it produces the same result (in jake’s case)

once again, i don’t intend for people to feel “less valid/wrong” when they read what i have to say on this blog. self-reflection is important. sometimes, people have opinions that are wrong! including myself! which is why more often than not i think deeply into the things people say to me here and consider whether my opinion holds up. you don’t have to feel bad for being wrong. we are all constantly wrong on stuff. everyone, at some point, has had a bad take/the wrong take on something. if you hold yourself up to this standard that you must always be right or you are suddenly a horrible person/must feel bad and demoralized, i suggest that you change your approach to issues such as this. i hate to say this but it is not my job to make sure everyone is 100% cool and chill about everything i do and say here. some things need to be said. some things need to be acknowledged. i’m sorry if any of you have been hurt/upset by anything i’ve ever posted but after a certain point... that is your issue and not mine

#ask #ncrit #sorry for the long post #thank you once again for being respectful #i hope this wasn't too harsh #i hope you have a nice day too :)#arnie-santiago

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rontra · 5 years

Text

ANONYMOUS ASKED:

i really like mwot and was wondering, do you wanna talk/loredump/etc about mwot during this blessed month of pride? (if not that's totally cool!!! i really like the au and am curious about it!)

REPLY:

YES!!!!

umineko spoilers below and LONG POST KSDJDKSKD i really went infodumping......you got me right in an infodumping mood....

also im being very casual in this post so if something is like weird or vague its probably because i got tired of thinking about it and skipped ahead. SKJDSJD

mwot is an umi au and its very gay and very trans because i, a gay trans, decided it was TIME to INDULGE

LIKE A MOUNTAIN WIND FALLING ON OAK TREES also known as MWOT, MW/OT, Mountain Wind + Oak Trees, MW+OT, or literally any combination of its parts, is an eva/natsuhi au, set in a vague modern big city setting

https://rontra.tumblr.com/tagged/mountain-wind-oak-trees

it’s a comedy, mostly? it has elements of backstory transphobia and stuff like that but that’s not really the story i want to tell with it, so i don’t go too deeply into it in the main fic. it’s mostly comedy and Self Care: The Story (once these nerds get around to acknowledging that self care is good, anyway!!!!)

Eva is 20, nb lesbian (though she doesnt know half of it to begin with). generally a bitchard at the beginning but also deeply craving that Validation. Invested in making the fic harder to write due to pronoun shenanigans (shoutout to the lengthy section of intimate emotional scenes that uses no pronouns at all for eva but is narrated by them in 3rd person)

Natsuhi is like 21 i guess because im a sucker for her having like an annoying 1-3 years on eva bc eva would get mad about it. Also she’s trans, gray-ace, hopeless romantic, generally full of “quickly raising your eyebrows and looking away while sipping your drink and thinking Yikes” energy. weaponizes indifference but is no stranger to harder means. she’s a smart cookie

Sayo is also 20, gender clown car living her best life. Presents differently depending on mood and whim

krauss is like 22 or whatever. for housekeeping’s sake, rosa and rudolf are too young to matter (8 and 10, or something like that). dont even worry about it

honestly the weirdest part of the au is eva and sayo being the same age

also this au is the origin point of me & my friends using akikaze as nat’s maiden name. the more you know!

USHIROMIYA GOLD dishes up that yellow metal like you wouldn’t believe. led by kinzo whos so fuckin good at sniffing out that sweet sweet gold people are half convinced the man has psychic powers. Any piece of land he’s got his eyes on, he WILL get his hands on, no matter who owns it right now.

the land kinzo wants At The Moment is owned by the AKIKAZE FAMILY who have been notably on the decline recently. they’re in the economic shithole so this land is basically all they’ve got right now, so when kinzo wants it and it suddenly Has Value, they’re like “oh, shit,

anyway the deal basically shakes out that like, he gets the land and all the gold that may or may not be in it. he offers his eldest son in exchange for this land, to marry their daughter: in the bonds of marriage graciously ensuring a part of the winnings will spill over on them, while keeping them under his control without money coming into the picture.

Everything’s working out great and coming up kinzo. the deal is closed and everyone’s happy (i guess). until ONE DAY, just a few narrow weeks before the akikaze girl is set to move in with the ushiromiyas,

KINZOS

OLDEST

SON

DISAPPEARS

!!!!!

Krauss dislikes being told what to do, and his father’s ideals never lined up with his own. He thinks this entire thing is sort of fucked up and can’t live under his dad’s thumb anymore. That's why, immediately following Kinzo’s agreement with the Akikaze family, Krauss disappears. He’s just kinda left for greener pastures, to unfold his own life and pursue his own interests independent of the Ushiromiya name. He leaves behind a letter explaining it & basically he forfeits both name and inheritance, and Kinzo’s incredible deal is suddenly in jeopardy.....

obviously this is kinzo though, and all of his solutions are like, 20 times more complicated than they have to be? he’s DETERMINED to have this land so he’s like “i need an eldest son. shit rudolf is only like 9. fuck. well okay i have an eldest daughter with a deeply complicated need for validation and success entirely driven by her overall neglect at my hands“ and the rest. as they say. is history (???)

Ushiromiya Eva always saw Krauss as unworthy of the inheritance, and to her, his disappearance confirms this. She grew up always being made to feel inferior to her older brother, usually being ignored in favor of him, and it's bred a complex need for validation in her. Her values and strengths are more like Kinzo’s than her brother’s, and Kinzo recognizes this in the wake of Krauss’ disappearance.

basically he concocts this really wild scheme where eva has to pretend to be his oldest son and marry this girl or whatever so he can seal this stupid gold deal and she’s like “well lol if i get to be family heir” and hes like “yes that’s what im saying” and shes like “awesome let’s do it”

all of the servants are in on it too of course. specifically kinzo enlists SAYO who works there as normal staff and isn’t otherwise tangled into this family’s mess in any way whatsoever. she’s just here to serve tea and looks. anyway he’s like “you work on this with eva--i mean evan, my son, you must have misheard--and eva you have to listen to whatever yasuda says” and eva is like “that last part will not be frustrating for me at all”.

Yasuda as reigning Household Gender Presentation Expert is like “i think i just got orders from the master to bully eva?” and eva is like “i wish i could fire you but my dad just banned me from doing that” and then gradually...over the course of the project......they become....friends.........

(the au is tagged eva & sayo for a reason. they become FRIENDS!!)

mostly its just various combinations of shkanon dunking on eva and its all VERY good.

during all these shenanigans we make some startling realizations like “gender euphoria is a hell of a drug” and stuff, which is extremely harrowing for everyone (note: not for everyone. just for eva, who makes 10,000 realizations every day, and should not have been counted.)

(ok sidenote did anyone else put on their first binder & go like “hmmm. i live here now” because. mood. im projecting entirely into this fic)

Gender Clown Car yasuda (currently as lion) is like “you know there’s like more than 2 genders” and eva’s like “you fucking wehat”.

i also make a REALLY INVOLVED JOKE ABOUT CASTIGLIONI GOLD, THE RIVAL COMPANY, and how BEATRICE’S KID LOOKS A LOT LIKE LION, and EVERYONE thinks this is all VERY funny

(i would like to see it. also kinzo owes beatrice castiglioni $20 and she’s never let him forget it.)

now wrapped up in this stupid impostor scheme AND full of big wild nonbinary energy AND!! WITH AN INFURIATING NEW FRIEND!! IN THE STAFF!!! this one funky ushiromiya is all ready to get in on an arranged marriage or whatever. provided NO ONE EVER FINDS OUT that they’re faking it and replacing the Actual Heir, which would no doubt ruin the scheme AND bring kinzo’s wrath on everybody involved, of course.

AKIKAZE NATSUHI IS READY TO PUNCH HER FIANCE IN THE THROAT IF HE EVEN LOOKS AT HER but she understands what’s happening here. she knows she didn’t have a say in this from the very beginning. that the deal was sealed for her as soon as the name “ushiromiya” was said. she knows her family married her off quick in a bid to get rid of her. if she’s humiliated by this ordeal, she is far too proud to show it. she packs her bags and walks into the mansion with her head held high........and immediately has this exchange with her fiance

and this one

so that’s kind of the energy we’re going for with these two.

(natsuhi’s line in the second cap was going to be removed for being Way Too Intense, but everyone i talked to said it was too hot to cut, so i decided to indulge us all. blame the lesbians)

they IMMEDIATELY don’t get along but they kinda agree to like, mind their business, since neither of them are interested in playing house here. if they can get the wedding to go off without a hitch they can basically go back to never talking to each other again.

natsuhi’s entire angle here is essentially: her family was not that good, and this family likely won’t be better, BUT here she has a chance to build something new for herself. she’ll be out of her parents’ house. She needs this deal to stay for her own sake, but she has to get out ahead of her husband and set up a dynamic that favors her. when she meets evan she essentially gauges the kind of person she’s dealing with and picks her approach accordingly: this is not a soft man, and she has to be hard in turn to avoid being steamrolled.

and its VERY hot

anyway some stuff happens and it eventually they both sorta get each other’s secrets. eva is not the firstborn son and natsuhi is not the card kinzo thought he was pulling from her family’s hand and theyre both toast if word hits the public. directly after the wedding they establish a tense alliance of keeping each others’ secrets....

and then they.....fall...in l

there’s some fun tensions and realizations. eva is like “so im quickly catching on that no praise i ever received from dad was on my own merit and he’s kind of a dirtbag all around and his validation is kind of not worth it” and nat is like “word our parents are chains” & they run kinzo over with the down w cis bus. it’s fine. they get postcards from krauss sometimes. he has a motorbike now.

DID I MENTION THE PRACTICE KISSING

BC THEY HAVE TO PRACTICE! FOR THE!! PUBLIC WEDDING!!!!

and thats mwot i guess. it’s my au where natsuhi’s accent color is red and some other stuff happens too. happy pride month

#mwot #second time's the charm

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freerebelmentality · 5 years

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Bohemian Rhapsody

AN: Well I thought I would write something and finally get things done for this blog. I hope you all will enjoy this, I combined some Bohemian Rhapsody with Supernatural because its two fandoms that I love. So enjoy my loves

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Word Count: 3,764

You and Sam get back from a hunt. Dean and Mom stayed behind at the bunker and basically cleaned the place.

Mom did most of the organizing while Dean helped with the heavy lifting, well most of the time he tried to get out of Spring clean up but Mom never fell for it.

As Sam drives through town, you see the movie list that has been released and see the movie you have been wanting to see ever since you read about it online.

“Hey Sam?” you ask while never taking your eye off the movie ad well until it disappears from your sight anyway.

“Yeah, whats up?” Sam asks looking to you while he makes the turn for the bunker

“How do you think Mom will like if I took her to a movie?” you ask shyly

You didnt know why you had to ask Sam first or even act all shy about it.

Mary was your mom, just as much as she is Sam and Dean’s Mom.

You were still trying to get used of her being around more.

Dean and Sam already got used of her. Well you thought so anyway.

“I think that would be great if you took her. I mean spend some Mother, Daughter time. Something me or Dean couldnt do for you while growing up” he replies while parking the car by the door of the bunker.

He looks to you with a sincere smile.

“Something that doesnt involve hunting” you sum up while getting out of the car and gathering you things.

“Exactly. You need some normalcy in your life and this could be one of them” he replies while opening the door and entering

“What is exactly normal Sam?” you ask with a smile on your face as the both of you walk down the spiral stairs.

“You two are home early” Mom greets you both

Sam goes in for a hug

Your turn next

“It was easy” you simply reply with a smile on your face

“Looks like you and Dean have been busy” Sam says while looking around the library

“I’ve been keeping him busy, hes been making excuses not to get this place organized” Mom replies while sitting down at the table

You go down the hall and into your room to put your things by the door and on your bed. You thought you would clean up your things later.

“Hey baby girl, home so soon” Dean says as he comes out of his room and gives you a hug

“Hey big bro. Hiding from Mom?” you ask while pulling away from his embrace

“I wasnt hiding. I was just putting something back into my room” Dean replies while making excuses to hide from Mom

“Right” you reply with a smirk on your face

You and Dean walk into the kitchen where you hear Sam and Mom talking about the case.

“it was y/n who figured out the whole entire thing and knew how to kill it why we are home so early” Sam says while looking to you all proud. Mom has the same expression on her face as well

“Well way to go baby girl” Mom says while giving you a side hug

“How about I make you your favourite tonight. I’ll get Dean to pick up a few things from the store” Mom says with a smile on her face

“Alright give me a list and I’ll head out with Sam” he replies while Sam glares at him for volunteering him to tag along for the grocery run

“Actually yeah I will tag along for the grocery run because I need to pick up a few things as well” Sam says while looking to you.

He thought he would give you that chance to talk to Mom and ask her about the movie you want to take her out to.

As soon as they are both gone. Its you and Mom left in the kitchen.

Complete silence, until you remembered the movie.

Queen’s Love Of My Life came on the radio and Mom hummed to the song as she moved around the kitchen to gather the ingredients she does have.

“Hey Mom, I was wondering if you would want to watch a movie with me?” you ask while twiddling with your thumbs sitting at the table

“Sure sweetie. What were you thinking of watching?” she asks as she bring her ingredients in a bowl to the table

“Uh Im going to leave that as a surprise. I’ll buy the tickets now” you tell her while smiling to her

She returns the warm smile as well

“Alright in the mean time Im going to mix this all up” she says as he begins mixing her ingredients

While Dean and Sam are at the grocery store, Dean looks to the list of things Mom wrote down for him and goes from aisle to aisle to gather everything.

“Did y/n really single handedly solve the entire case and kill the monster?” Dean asks while looking to Sam

“Yeah she did and it was like as if she killed the thing before” Sam replies while placing more items into the cart

“It was more like on accident” Dean replies while pushing the cart to the cashiers till

“What do you mean?” Sam asks all confused

“Well when she was fifteen I left her alone by the car and the thing came after her. She knew what to do and killed the thing by herself” Dean remembers like it was just yesterday you had your first kill.

You did it with ease though, not showing any fear what so ever and felt proud of your first kill

“Wow, she is fearless” Sam says while placing the items on the conveyor belt for the cashier to scan

“That she is. I’ve never been so proud” Dean says with a smile on his face

“Mom is pretty proud of her too” Sam says with a smile on his face

“Why wouldnt she, y/n is the exact replica of Mom and shes fearless” Dean says while giving the money to the cashier for the food

“Speaking of Mom, y/n asked if Mom would be alright with going to a movie with her and I told her she should just ask and spend some Mother, Daughter time with her. Something we couldnt do while y/n was growing up” Sam says while taking the bags and placing them in the cart

“What movie is she thinking of taking her to?” Dean asks helping Sam placing the rest of the bags into the cart and pushes it out of the store

“I dont know she didnt say” Sam replies while getting the trunk open

“Thats true though, she never got to experience that Mother, Daughter time and think she should get to experience that” Dean agrees with Sam

Dean remembers all the talks he had with you, some were awkward and others were just a learning experience for him and he thought he raised you pretty good.

“Lets go home and wait for Mom’s cooking” Dean says while putting baby on drive

“See if y/n asked Mom about the movie and see what they are going to see” Sam says while looking to the road

“You didnt see which movie she was looking at?” Dean asks while driving slowly by the movie theatre

“No but I am guessing its Bohemian Rhapsody” Sam looks to the movie posters that are posted outside the theatre

“The movie about Queen. I always wanted to see that movie” Dean says while pressing the gas and going back to the bunker

“Mom is definitely going to love that movie” Sam says while looking to Dean

“Of course she will. I remember Mom playing their records over the record player and it was always either Love Of My Life or You’re My Best Friend” Dean says while remembering back to his younger days of Mom playing music.

“I remember that too. I’d always hear Bohemian Rhapsody every and then. Or even Killer Queen” Sam says with a smile on his face

They get to the bunker and park in the garage.

Dean stops the engine and gets out of the car

Sam does the same and gets the groceries that were placed in the back seat.

While Dean gets the ones from the trunk and head into the kitchen

“I remember your dad sneaking us into a Queen concert. He was suppose to get tickets for us for my birthday but they were sold out” Mom smiles at the memory while you play some of their music through your spotify playlist.

“Their concerts were amazing. They always put on the best shows” Mom says with a smile on her face as she takes her hand to her chest.

You see she is tearing up at the memories and understood why

You hear Dean and Sam walking down the hall and into the kitchen

“Freddie Mercury was just amazing on stage and off. Your dad was always amazing at getting us into the shows” she says while looking to you.

You couldnt help but get teary eyed as well. You feel as though you were robbed of great concerts, a great artist.

Most of all, you were robbed of your Father. How you missed him dearly.

“Whats with the tears?” Dean asks looking between you and Mom

He places the groceries on the table and begins putting them away.

Sam does the same while looking between the both of you as well

“I was just telling y/n about the times your Father took us to Queen concerts and how amazing they were. How amazing Freddie was” she says while wiping the tears away

“I would have given you their concert t-shirts but it was burned in the house fire” Mom says while looking to you

You would have loved one of her shirts from their live shows

“Y/n play Tie Your Mother Down” Dean says while looking to you

You do as your told and begin getting the movie tickets for the Bohemian Rhapsody movie.

“This song” Mom tsk’s as the song plays

Its as though she is replaying the concert in her head with Dad at her side. She smiles to Dean and Sam

Dean plays the air guitar to Brian May’s guitar riffs

Sam sings out the chorus but he has nothing on Freddie

Mom joins in as she dances. She moves like Disco Deaky

You sit back and enjoy their dancing, singing and air guitar playing.

You bang on the table to the drums of Roger Taylor

“Thats the way baby girl” Dean says winking to you

When dinner is finally made and Mom did amazing at cooking your favourite meal.

You couldnt wait for the next day for the movie. Heck you were really excited

Dean cleaned the kitchen when everyone was done eating. Sam helped with drying the dishes.

Mom went to shower and head to bed

You went to your room and cleaned up a bit while putting stuff away.

Finally you went to bed as well.

Mom is the one who wakes early, she goes to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.

Sam is the one who wakes next

“Do you ever sleep in?” Mom asks looking to Sam as he enters the kitchen

Sam chuckles at the question and waits for the coffee to be done

“I dont understand that reference” Sam retorts as he smiles and thinks of Castiel

“So do you have any idea which movie y/n wants to see?” Mom asks while she gets herself a cup of coffee

“No I dont. She didnt tell me which movie. She just said she would like to take you to a movie” Sam replies while doing the same

“Im excited either way. I mean I never had any chance to spend time with her. Only when” Mom cuts herself off as she remembers the final moments she had with you

“But you’re back now and make up lost time. I know we are always out on hunts and you can finally have these moments with her. She is amazing just like you mom” Sam says to her.

“Does she still like chocolate cake?” Mom asks looking to Sam

“Yeah she does but Dean topped it off with chocolate chips and baked it. So every birthday he would make chocolate chip cake for her” he replies while looking to Mom with a smile

“But still using grandma’s cake recipe?” She asks in hopes its the same

“Still using the same recipe” he replies with a smile

You wake up to the smell of coffee that brought a smile to your face

You get up from bed and put on a hoodie as you walked out of your room, down the hall and into the kitchen

“Morning y/n” Mom greets you from the coffee machine

“Morning y/n” Sam greets you next

“Morning guys” you reply with a smile on your face

“Dean not up yet?” Mom asks looking to you

“No, I didnt see him come out of his room” you reply getting yourself a cup of coffee

Finally Dean awakes from his sleep, the four of you assist other hunters with their cases in doing research.

The other hunters were successful with their hunts and killing the monsters. All successful with Dean, Sam, Mom and your help.

“Oh geez the movie starts in an hour. Mom we got to get ready” you say while looking to the time

“Oh right, I will take a quick shower and get ready quickly” Mom says while rushing to the washroom and getting ready for the movie.

“I didnt realize all this researching would take most of the day” Dean says while putting the books away

“Dean I think thats the most reading you did for most of your life” you reply while going down the hall and into your room for a shower as well

“Shut up” Dean says while glaring at you as you walk away from the library

Sam is laughing while Dean glares at him as well.

Finally the day has come for movie night with your mom and you were excited for this. Not only spending time with your mom but would get the chance to watch Queen’s biopic Bohemian Rhapsody.

“Y/n Im ready” Mom says knocking on your door

You brush your hair for the final time and walk out of your room.

“Alright I am ready” you say while following Mom into the kitchen where Dean and Sam are

“We are off now. Are you going to tell me which movie we are seeing now?” Mom says to your brothers while asking you what the surprise is.

“No, not until we get to the movie” you reply with a mischievous smile on your face

“Just really knows how to keep the suspense going this kid” Mom says while walking out of the kitchen with you.

“Have fun you two and let me know which movie you see. So I can go watch it” Sam says while waving the both of you off from the garage

Dean follows along as well and does the same. He is proud you have asked Mom to head out with you.

You park across from the movie theatre while Mom gets out and you do the same.

Thats when she sees the movie poster for Bohemian Rhapsody

“Y/n is that the movie we are going to see” she asks with tears in her eyes

You nod you head with a smile on your face and couldnt wipe it away

“Thank you” she says as she gives you a hug

“Not a problem Mom, I wanted to do something for you that involved your favourite band and just to spend some time with you” you tell her while giving the worker your tickets

“Alright lets sing some Radio Gaga” she says and enters the theatre

As the movie begins to play and the echoes of Freddie’s voice plays in the background. It gave the both of you goose bumps.

The opening credits to the movie begins as Somebody To Love begins playing.

“Its twelve noon in London. Seven am in Philadelphia, its time for Live Aid”

You look to your Mom and see she has tears in her eyes. You pull out the tissues from your pocket and hand them to her.

She takes a few and thanks you for them

The both of you swaying back and forth to the song. You see Mom lip syncing to the lyrics of Somebody To Love.

The scene to Live Aid is what opens the movie and Mom gets goosebumps once more. She remembers watching Live Aid on TV.

When the movie gets to rockfield farm where three members of Queen are in the kitchen making breakfast, talking about Roger’s song Im in love with my car. Well more like arguing about it.

Mom laughs when Roger throws the food at Brian and John cause he is getting annoyed with them talking about his song. Finally he is about to throw the coffee maker but is stopped from doing so.

“I wonder if they replaced that with Roger locking himself in the cupboard when they didnt want to add his song on the B side” Mom leans over and whispers into your ear.

You laughed way too hard at that

“I would think so but would have been nice if they added that in the movie” you lean over and whisper into her ear as well.

The both of you share a laugh.

When the movie gets to the scene of Live Aid, Mom begins to tear up once more and places her hand on her chest.

As Radio Gaga begins to play is when a wide smile spreads on Moms face and she wipes away more tears.

During the chorus of the song is when Mom begins to raise her arms as well just like the whole theatre did for the song and clapped.

Everyone begins to break out singing as well.

You sang and raised your arms as you clapped as well. You werent part of the concert but felt good to sing out the song. You wiped away tears as well.

When the song ended is when Hammer to Fall began to play is when Mom looked at you with a wide smile

“This was your fathers favourite song” She leans in near your ear to tell you.

You tear up more as she tells you that. You wipe away the tears and continue watching the movie.

Finally when the movie is over is when the both of you are in tears once more as the credits roll.

You are about to get up from the seat but Mom doesnt get up. She sits there enjoying the music from her teen years.

She mouths to the lyrics of Dont Stop Me Now and you do the same as well.

“That was so good” Mom says walking out of the theatre

“It was and I am glad you liked it” you say while unlocking the car

“Liked it? I loved it. Even though it wasnt in order but I still loved the movie. Oh and those boys looked so much like the members of Queen” Mom says trying hard not to sob

You can tell she loved the band oh so dearly, how she talked about the band and chose the words oh so delicately when talking about Freddie Mercury.

“When Joe Mazzello who played John Deacon danced to Bohemian Rhapsody and thats exactly how Deaky danced” Mom says with pure excitement and is completely astonished at the same time.

“Y/n I thank and love you for taking me to see this movie” Mom says placing her hand over yours and giving a gentle squeeze.

“Not a problem Mom and I love you too” you tell her while placing a kiss to her hand

“It was uncanny how each actor looked like the members from the band” you add while driving back to the bunker

“Especially Mazzello who looked exactly like John Deacon. I wonder if his mom had one night with Deaky and got pregnant with Joe” she begins to make assumptions

You begin laughing while you pull into the bunkers garage

“Are you sure dad is my dad?” you ask while looking to Mom

“No, your Father is John Deacon actually, its just he doesnt know yet and your dad left me alone for a while so I went sneaking back stage” Mom says with a smile on her as the both of you enter the bunkers hallway.

Dean and Sam sit in the kitchen eating pizza Dean ordered.

They look to each other with smiles on their faces as they hear the both of you laughing.

“That movie is a definite master piece just as much as the night at the opera is” Mom says as the both of you enter the kitchen

“So ladies how was the movie?” Dean asks looking from his pizza

“Whats so funny?” Sam asks finishing his pizza

“We were just talking about the movie and among other things” you reply while getting yourself a slice of pizza

“I was just questioning if one of the actors playing John Deacon is his son and I told y/n that John Deacon is her biological father” Mom says while getting herself a slice of pizza as well

“Oh so you did take her to see Bohemian Rhapsody” Dean says with a smile on his face

“So the movie was good?” Sam asks while laughing at his sister and Mom

“Yes it was really good. Its not in complete order but its still a great movie” Mom replies while sitting next to Sam

You sit next to Dean while nodding your head

“So John Deacon is y/n’s biological father? I knew it this whole time” Dean jokingly says while looking to you.

You nudge him as you giggle

“Sam we should go watch the movie” Dean looks to Sam in hopes he will go with him

“I wouldnt mind watching it again” Mom says grabbing another slice of pizza

“I totally wouldnt mind watching the movie again” you say as well looking to your family.

When it was agreed to watch the movie as a family is when you got more excited because you wanted to see how Dean and Sam would react to the movie.

Mother, daughter time was a definite success and happy you got to take her to see Bohemian Rhapsody.

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

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Seriously, for fuck’s sake, I know that post was AT LEAST as far back as December, if not more, and it literally had less than ten notes just two hours ago.

But remember! I’m on a fucking CRUSADE! I just want to take away peoples’ rape fics and harmless kiddie porn fantasies and I just can’t respect the fact that as long as people just TAG their ‘herein lies my advertisement of the fact that hahaha, omg I think what happened to you is actually kinda hot and sexy giggle giggle aren’t I so TABOO????’ smut like lol okay, well that doesn’t affect me at all, I’m not remotely bothered by having to spend every single day wading through reminders of how much more fascinating people find rape than actual survivors of said things.

I’m the one who has no idea how to live in a society with other people and suck it up and deal with the fact that sometimes, people do and say things that make us uncomfortable and we wish we could avoid, but just shut the fuck up and keep that to yourself, right? Don’t like....TELL people they’ve made you uncomfortable and are doing things that you wish they’d think about more critically, gosh, all that’s gonna do is make THEM uncomfortable then, why couldn’t you just kept it to yourself, how dare you think TALKING about problems is the solution?????

Yup yup, I’m clearly the one who has no boundaries and no regard for other people and can’t let people just have their harmless fun, their different opinions that don’t actually affect me, I’m the one who just can’t seem to stop from hunting down posts I don’t agree with and hopping on other blogs and resurrecting weeks or months old posts just to make sure EVERYONE KNOWS THIS POST WAS WROOOOOOONG. Lmao.

Well I’m very sorry for all that, now that mine eyes have been opened! Rape fics are harmless and this is all just fictional, nobody is actually affected in a negative way by anything being talked about here yaaaaaaay!

Anyway, I’m off to spend the rest of the night trying to calm down lolol because fun fact for people who love to talk about being triggered but have no real clue what they’re actually talking about and how that word was never meant to describe being like...upset or angry but rather the stimuli or situations that put survivors and people with PTSD and other mental disorders into actual goddamn panic spirals and attacks. And thus like, triggers are not as fucking obvious as some of you seem to think they are.

Like lol guess what, I actually can read a scene wherein someone’s raping someone in a scene that looks or sounds EXACTLY LIKE MY RAPE and it can be heart-wrenching and it can be graphic and it can be emotional and I can still not be triggered by that! Know why? Because shockingly, I AM aware that this is just fictional! That these are just fictional characters! That no fictional character and no real person has been harmed in the writing of this scene, because FICTIONAL CHARACTERS CAN’T BE HARMED! Know what else fictional characters can’t be? RAPED. Because rape is not a VISUAL, rape is not an ACTION, rape is not a SPECIFIC SEQUENCE OF EVENTS. Rape is a THEFT, it is one person STEALING another person’s ability to control what happens with their body, taking what they have no right to take, just because they WANT to, just because they CAN. And thus NO rape scene, no matter HOW well written or realistically depicted, is ever going to BE a rape scene, just like no ‘rape fantasy’ roleplay is ever going to BE rape because without an actual DYNAMIC of one person taking something the other person has no power to stop, when its two equally consenting partners or two flat fictional characters on a page, it is still nothing more than a SIMULATION of rape, and NEVER ANYTHING MORE THAN THAT.

And guess what? I can handle THAT just fine. THAT doesn’t trigger me no matter how much it reminds me of my own trauma, because I KNOW DAMN WELL THAT ISN’T REAL.

But you know what IS real? You know what DOES trigger me? The CONTEXT of the scene. The REASON it was written, the intended REACTION of the reader.

The part that makes me lose my fucking shit is when I’m forced to face the reality that this scene exists, was written, because somebody found it HOT and SEXY and wanted to share it with people who’d see it the same way. The reason I lose my goddamn MIND and my adrenaline ramps up and my whole body starts shaking as my fight or flight instincts kick in with no actual outlet because there’s no actual threat, just the phantom reminder of a threat I couldn’t escape from....THAT fun little adventure comes from looking or hearing about things that remind me of my rape, take me back to that fucking room and make me a terrified out of my goddamn mind dumbass nineteen year old all over again.....and knowing that this is HOT to the writer and readers, that this is intended as sexually gratifying, that this scene, this depiction, this simulation of one person STEALING from another powerless person SOMETHING THEY WILL NEVER EVER FUCKING BE ABLE TO GET BACK AS LONG AS THEY LIVE, THE SENSE OF SAFETY AND SECURITY THAT COMES FROM BEING THE ONLY PERSON WHO GETS TO DECIDE WHO HAS ACCESS TO YOUR BODY....knowing that this little smutty fic exists so people can read this and be TURNED ON by this, so they can GET OFF to this, this thing they’re looking at in their mind, reading about, picturing as they stare down at their screen getting all hot and bothered....

JUST LIKE MY FUCKING RAPIST LOOKED WHEN GETTING OFF FROM TAKING THOSE THINGS FROM ME.

THAT is what fucking triggers me, THAT is what makes me feel unsafe and panicky, THAT is what traps me all over again in that fucking goddamn room and leaves me STUCK there no matter how many years its been and HOW far I’ve come in getting past it...

THE CONSTANT NEVER ENDING REMINDER THAT PEOPLE THINK ITS TOTALLY NO BIG DEAL TO FUCKING AGREE WITH MY RAPIST ABOUT HOW FUCKING HOT AND SATISFYING THE VIEW IS FROM UP THERE.

And all the fucking trigger warnings in the world don’t protect me from THAT, they just emphasize how little people actually give a shit, they just want the magic answer to how they can have their fun ‘harmless’ little rape KINK without having someone make them feel bad for the fact that the rank goes FUN RAPE FANTASIES YAY first and survivors who have a problem with that way the fuck last.

Anyway, so that’s what I’ll be doing all night! Links to my paypal and my ko-fi are on my main blog page if anyone’s ever felt informed or learned anything from any of my many, many, MANY posts about this stuff or any form of gratitude for the effort I DO or at least once DID put into sorting through my thoughts and making my points in some kind of way that actually addresses the usual conversations around all this.

Because guess what? It IS goddamn fucking emotional labor. It DOES take work! Its EXHAUSTING. It HURTS. I would give anything in the world to NOT pick at that giant fucking scab as often as I do, but I DONT HAVE THAT OPTION. Because not talking about it DOESNT MAKE IT GO AWAY. It doesn’t make LESS for me to have to navigate through every goddamn day of my life and you know what the suggested response to problems that you can’t fix on your own are? Problems with SOCIETY?

HAVING GODDAMN CONVERSATIONS ABOUT IT.

So excuse me for SAYING that as often as I do especially cuz every time I DO I get maybe ten notes of acknowledgment that anyone’s even fucking LISTENING but meanwhile here’s another fucking five hundred on a Batfam or X-Men shit post, now THAT’S the content people want from me!

Guess what! I WANT THAT TO BE MY CONTENT TO!

I would LOVE nothing more than to just be able to happily and comfortably shitpost about my favorite superheroes and write stuff I enjoy and that doesn’t have the flaws I rant about seeing in so many shows and books. I could talk for HOURS about fun thoughts and ideas I have in my head, I could banter back and forth with my friends about nothing of substance at all for DAYS, I don’t NEED to fucking retraumatize myself every goddamn day screaming into the void about this shit so I can feel IMPORTANT or have something INTERESTING to blog about or whatever the fuck people think is my reason for ranting about this shit. ALL. THE. GODDAMN. TIME.

But I can’t do that, because there is not a fucking day that goes by, not a DAY where SOMETHING doesn’t cross my dash, or SOMETHING isn’t on an Ao3 page I’m searching through for fic about a fave character, that doesn’t set me off and make my body start shaking with how deeply, fundamentally UPSETTING it is to constantly be bombarded with reminders of just how easy people find it to reframe my trauma as something hot and sexy and WAY MORE WORTH DEFENDING than the very thought of me going ONE FUCKING DAY without having to stumble across bullshit like that. Because I CAN’T ‘dont like/dont read’ as much is out there. I don’t need to click on a fic to see this is smut fic by an author who thinks rape is hot and judging from the number of kudos and comments and hits is definitely on to something! GUESS I DID MY RAPE WRONG THEN, cuz it wasnt fucking hot for me!

I would love to just ‘avoid’ it so I can actually ENJOY my fucking time on the internet. But I CANT. Because its EVERYWHERE. And god forbid I try and start fucking CONVERSATIONS about that so that maybe, someday, after we’ve done the work as a society to examine WHY PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING INVESTED IN THIS STUFF, I or at the very least people like me, can someday enjoy one day on the internet where they DONT have to constantly wade through an endless swamp of that shit.

Honestly. Seriously. I have said it so often I can not count. I do not want to censor anyone. I do not want power over what people can read or write. I just. want. to TELL people that when they write this stuff, it has CONSEQUENCES, that there are people it DOES hurt, and have them LISTEN, so that at least, at LEAST the ones who are bothered enough by that realization to NOT be comfortable writing it when faced with the awareness of the fact that their writing HAS THIS EFFECT WHETHER WE SAY IT TO THEIR FACES OR NOT, that THEY at least can decide....hey. What if I just...wrote something else instead?

But what the FUCK am I supposed to do with the constant, incessant reminder that people would rather dig in their heels in defense of their RAPE FANTASIES than roll up their sleeves and do a little fucking examination of WHY they and society at large are so fucking invested in this shit that the very IDEA of ‘giving up’ content like this for the sake of people who have actually LIVED through it, is just....INCOMPREHENSIBLE to them? That they feel ATTACKED by the very idea?

(And don’t fucking come at me with that ‘some survivors use it to cope’ stuff. Yeah, well I used to get in bar fights as my coping mechanism. Didn’t fucking mean it was healthy, and it wasn’t fucking harmless to anyone I punched in the goddamn face, now was it? Also, if you’re not a survivor and you hide behind that line, FEEL FUCKING ASHAMED for thinking of it as a kneejerk response to another survivor telling you your “kink” fucking hurts).

I’m out. See you all later.

#rape cw

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michaelreaderreblog · 6 years

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My truemate pt12

AN: Sorry it has taken me so long to post the next part to this series. So here it is finally. If you need to catch up on the series or would like to start from the beginning I will post the links below.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN ELEVEN

I think I was suppose to tag others to these parts but sorry I forgot who I was suppose to tag. Oh well the part is finally up. Thanks for being so patient with me

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Word Count: 1,960

He had always wanted to make sure that you would like his mate and thats what made him even more accepting to the other person.

“Thanks, we are going into the city though for dinner. I wanted to make this extra special and she doesnt know that so dont tell her. You kids are going to be home by yourselves over the weekend. I ask both of you no partying, no staying out all night just because I wont be home doesnt mean either of you are allowed to wolf out” he says with a stern expression as he looks between you and Dean.

You simply roll your eyes at him while Dean does the same.

“Hey Im an angel, tell your rules to y/n” he says as he whips his towards you.

“Scouts honor” you reply sarcastically to Sam and Dean who chuckle

The rest of the evening is spent with conversations about the work day and how its like working at the city hall for Sam which doesnt sound so bad.

“Speaking of which, is it possible to get a hold of y/n's medical records without tipping off the good ol' people from the Government and Academy extremists?” Dean asks Sam as you clear the table to get the empty dishes into the sink for the wash tomorrow.

“Dean, y/n doesnt have medical records. You never took her to the hospital for anything” Sam replies while looking to Dean and knowing very well you dont have any.

“Not even about her shots or anything?” Dean asks looking to his younger brother

“No, those are sealed tight. After she presents is when she would be able to get one but since you never took her to the hospital. She has absolutely no medical history” Sam explains more as he looks to Dean

“Why do you want her medical information?” he asks while taking a gulp from his beer

“I thought I would ask since we moved here wasnt I suppose to notify her doctors back in Sioux Falls and transfer them here” he says while finishing off his beer as well.

“Oh no. No need. But if she were to be sick or seek out for suppressants then she would have a medical record” Sam tells him while making his way to the garage with the empty beer bottles.

You decided that you would do the dishes the next day and you placed the remaining food in containers for tomorrows lunch.

You also decided that you would get Sam's lunch ready for tomorrow since he didnt like to eat out so much. You looked into the fridge to make sure that there was spinach for his sandwich and to your surprise there is still some left.

You take out the pesto sauce to go along with the spread, you shredded the chicken to carefully place them on one side of the bread that were spread evenly with pesto sauce. You topped the chicken with cut tomatoes and mozzarella cheese, when you finally did that and placed the other slice of bread on top to finish it off. You placed his sandwich in a container.

“You dont need to clean up, I can do it” Sam says from the table as he watches you doing something with the containers and the remaining food.

“No thats fine, I got it. You keep talking to Dean about whatever you were talking about.” You said not turning to face your brothers.

“Y/n what are you doing?” Deans turn to ask as he watches you get one thing from one cupboard to another.

“Im just getting Sams lunch ready for tomorrow so that he doesnt need to rush to make it” You answer your brother still not turning around to meet his gaze.

“Really I can take care of that later” Sam says from the table.

“What about my lunch?” Dean asks as if he sounds so hurt like you forgot about him.

“Dont worry I got you, Im adding beef on yours along with the swiss cheese and honey mustard” you reassure Dean that you didnt forget about him and his deliveries.

“No grey poupon?” he asks randomly as you turn your head to his direction to give him a weird look.

“Really? Grey poupon?” Sam asks giving him the same reaction as you did.

“Popped into my head” Dean says as he shrugs his shoulders.

You shake your head as you keep making the sandwiches for your brothers.

When done you place each of them in containers and put them into the fridge.

While you also place the remaining food in there also.

“Alright you guys, I am done with your lunches and you’re all set for tomorrow” you tell them while turning away from the fridge.

“Thank you” they both say in unison

“You’re the greatest” Dean says while standing from the table and pushing in his chair.

“You really are” Sam says and does the same.

You and Dean decided to stay up a little late than usual as Sam went to bed. The both of you settled into the living room to watch a little tv.

Dean decided to watch the sports highlights from the evening games that he missed and you didnt have a problem with it.

Finally when you couldnt keep your eyes open anymore is when you decided to head to bed.

You told your brother goodnight and to sleep well himself he said the same thing back you.

You get into your bedroom and change into sleeping clothes and crawled into bed closed your eyes as the exhaustion took over and slept all through the night.

You were the one to rise early as your brothers were still a sleep in their bedrooms, you went down the stairs and into the kitchen.

You take out the grinded coffee to make a fresh pot of the morning and decided to make for breakfast.

You heard someone coming down the stairs but paid no attention as you were making pancakes.

“Good morning” Dean says with a groggy tone.

“Have a glass of water first before you take a cup of coffee” you tell him while you flip over the pancakes.

“Ok mom. Have any orders today?” he says as he fills his glass cup with water and takes a few gulps from it before making a cup of coffee.

“Yeah I have a few and I have one delivery but have no idea on how I am going to make that delivery though” you tell Dean as you take the pancakes from the pan and into Deans plate that had eggs and bacon on the side.

“What do you mean you have no idea how to deliver them? You have my baby to do that” he says looking to you as he takes a bite out of his bacon.

“You mean the very same baby Sam is going to take to work, like I said genius I dont know how I am going to make the delivery” you tell him as you take another set of pancakes from the pan and place them on Sam's plate that has a side of eggs and fruit.

You thought pretty soon you would just give him grape fruit for breakfast instead rather cooking him a full breakfast.

“Oh crap, I forgot. Well looks like we are gonna have to get you a car. I can go half and you can go half, how does that sound? And what kind of car do you want?” he gives you his proposition about the car he would generously go half with.

“I remember uncle Bobby used to talk about this Mustang um damn forgot what year he said it was. I remember seeing the car and getting inside of it and thinking one day I would love to own that car. Then Bobby ruined my day dream by telling me the customer is picking up his car and if I didnt get out he would sell me along with it inside.” you tell him as you smile and giggle at the memory.

Sam finally comes into the kitchen as he see his siblings talking over the counter.

“What are you giggling about Y/n? Morning guys” he says with a smile on his face as he makes his way for the cupboard to get himself a cup of coffee.

“Drink a glass of water first” Dean says as he follows his brothers movements around the kitchen.

“Ok dad. What were you two talking about anyways? Y/n is this plate mine or is it yours?” Sam asks as he looks at the plate on the counter before he takes it to the table.

“Yeah thats yours, Im just going to have a bowl of fruit along with the Greek yogurt” you tell Sam as you get the yogurt from the fridge and he sees you pour the contents into your bowl and he is pleased with the food choice.

“Look there is more bacon and eggs you can have that. I dont think that is going to keep you energized till lunch” Dean says as if he got offended you didnt want to have a perfectly good breakfast with the bacon and eggs.

You laugh at his generous thought but you simply decline and stick with your fruit and yogurt.

You heard someone parking outside in the drive way and you thought that one of your customers were way early than expected. Sam is on the move to get to work, as he steps out the door.

“Castiel, good morning c'mon in” Sam says as he opens the door for him to walk out.

“Morning Sam, thank you” he says as he enters into the house and removes his jacket along with his shoes

“Im in the kitchen Castiel, want some breakfast? Coffee? Tea?” you raise your voice from the kitchen and finally remembered that Dean was still in there with you.

You turn around to see how Dean was doing and he appeared to have it together.

“Yeah I could get you a plate of breakfast if you want, please sit relax.” Dean says while rushing around the kitchen as he tries to make Castiel comfortable

He enters into the kitchen with a smile on his face as he follows Deans movements around the kitchen and struggling to keep his cool.

“Good morning Y/n, Dean. I would love breakfast, I didnt have time to eat before I left the house. I rushed to wake early and came driving over as soon as I could” Castiel says while he pulls up the chair from the table and seats himself there.

Sam watches what Dean is doing and he smiles at the scene in front of him.

“Well Im off to work. Y/n have a good day, Dean try not to get into an accident today and good luck Castiel” he says and out the door he goes and enters inside the impala to drive to work.

You smile at Sam and couldnt wipe off the smile from your face as you watch Dean stumble around the kitchen.

“Dean, relax. You can go off to work now. I can handle everything from here” you tell him as he looks to you.

“Right work, I should be off now” he says while he gives you Castiel' plate of food and a cup of coffee.

He exits the kitchen only to come back and get his jacket along with the truck keys, gives a smile to the both of you.

“Later Y/n and Castiel” he smiles nervously.

“See you later Dean and thank you” Castiel says as he looks at Dean.

You see the interaction between the two and you couldnt be more proud of Dean for behaving.

24 notes · View notes

panticwritten · 5 years

Note

Writing request! Carl and Sawyer (some version of you, I’m not sure where Carl usually fits in) have stumbled into the same dungeons and dragons forum and become closer through battling together (not 100% sure of Carl’s personality, be him not the type for this or totally the type). This can be a silly throw away or warmup up one since it is me.

Okay, so Cherry sent me this like forever ago. I wrote it, they read it because they live with me, but I forgot to actually post it! The name change to Kane is going smoothly, and I’m ready to never think about that asshole as Karl again lmaooooo

So, yeah, Kane and I play some DnD and he’s not subtle about anything ever at all.

I’ll have to wait until after I post this to change the colors of the different people in the text chats because lord knows I look at those strings of chat-text and have a time sifting through it. Homestuck has spoiled me.

Word count: 2270

@asinwolves @avi-burton-writing @infinitelyblankpage @no-url-ideas-tho @jade-island-lives @ravenpuffwriter @spirit-wizard-nerd @steakfryday @alextriestowritestuff @cataclystr0phe @perringwrites @davidvalencia323 @fluffpiggy @dont-trust-the-clogs @authorkimberlygrey @aclassilighthouse @cherrytying

I don’t think Kane knows I know.

If the smattering of ‘kid’ in our correspondences hadn’t tipped me off, it would definitely have been the way he made his character. I doubt anyone else would get the joke or see what he’s doing, but seriously? His character isn’t anything like him, of course.

If he were to be himself, he’d be a tiefling fighter. Either scout (ha) or cavalier archetype. He’d be a faction agent. Making a call between the chaotic alignments might be a shaky one sometimes. His attributes terribly skewed toward charisma and dexterity.

But he’s chosen a true neutral urchin. A mastermind rogue. An eladrin. The attributes are fairly balanced, save for dexterity always hovering above the others and strength a little lacking. Nothing like Kane. Not at all.

No, that’s the point.

He made a character that is exactly what I end up presenting myself as in the damn Cube. How I always play in console RPGs. Behavior just not erratic enough to be chaotic. Snarky and angry, never overtly because of the need to cover every goddamn emotion up. Inconsistent.

I’m not sure when I realized it was him. I thought it might be a member of the Collective when I first got the invitation from an unknown player. With Haz, j355, Hal, and Jax as mods of the server and tag-teaming as DMs, I slowly caught on to Kane’s game.

He’s making fun of me. He must have been playing with this character for some time, with their high level, and I wonder how long he’s been planning this.

It took me a little bit to even realize most of the similarities between myself and the character. My own character, a homebrew ice genesai, a brawler, bonded fairly quickly with them because they’re both urchins and saved each others’ asses when their time in the city overlapped.

He uses my lines, though. The whole ‘I’ll be fine’ shtick and his character has mentioned being a poet several times. After that, it took a few more days of play to start realizing it was him. That it was Kane playing such a long game.

The first time it occured to me, it was a bad call on what the endolin would do. We were looking for the deed to a seemingly abandoned manor. We hadn’t run into anything but low-level scavenging animals. In short, any good player would be a little on-edge and I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Halexander (MOD): Alright. The second you both clear the door, it slams shut behind you.Match (SeeSaw): Crap.Videre (ANON): whats in the room?Halexander (MOD): It’s a pretty nondescript room. Pretty small, almost looks like a study with three desks lining one wall and a bookshelf on another. There’s a couch shoved into a corner, looks like it was slept in recently.Match (SeeSaw): Can we roll investigation real quick?Halexander (MOD): Go for it, dude.Match (SeeSaw): 5Halexander (MOD): You notice that, unlike the rest of the place, there’s no dust. The whole room is swept clean of it. That’s it. The epitome of observation.Match (SeeSaw): Okay. Videre?Videre (ANON): nah im goodHalexander (MOD): You sure? Just gonna barge in there?Videre (ANON): the doors locked right what else can we do?Match (SeeSaw): Whatever. I’ll get a closer look at the couch.Videre (ANON): imma look at the closest desk while the kid does thatMatch (SeeSaw): Fuck youHalexander (MOD): I’ll put some form of that exchange as being in character.Match (SeeSaw): GoodMatch (SeeSaw): Now, the couchHalexander (MOD): To clarify, you’re both investigating different areas of the room?Match (SeeSaw): YesVidere (ANON): yeahHalexander (MOD): Excellent.

I was so used to the DMs at least pretending to need time to formulate responses that Hal’s immediate block of text took me by surprise.

Halexander (MOD): The two of you cross the room in different directions, as if by silent agreement. Match is slower, being more hesitant, so Videre gets to the desks first. Before you can do more than peer at the desk, however, there is a cry behind you. The bedding on the couch lashed out and has taken Match captive. Match, a blanket has one wrist and a facemask has bound itself over your eyes due to your proximity when the animation first occurred. Roll Initiative.Match (SeeSaw): Whaaaaat. Not cool. Okay, 16.Halexander (MOD): Enchanted Bedding got 12.Halexander (MOD): Videre?Videre (ANON): am i far enough away that i can stay out of order and keep looking through the drawers?

Uh.

Match (SeeSaw): What the fuck. I’m being attacked here, your rapier would take care of this in like two seconds.Videre (ANON): you dont know that. i have a feeling the deeds in here just give me a minuteHalexander (MOD): You can stay out of the fight if you want, but you still need to roll so we can keep this orderly.Videre (ANON): fineVidere (ANON): 8Halexander (MOD): Thanks for cooperating.Match (SeeSaw): Okay, first off, Match is never going to trust you again.Videre (ANON): he doesnt even know im helping yet. he cant see rememberMatch (SeeSaw): WHATEVERMatch (SeeSaw): Is the blanket pulling on me or just holding me there?Halexander (MOD): It’s tugging something fierce. The rest of the pile of blankets and pillows are writhing as if alive.Match (SeeSaw): I guess I’ll attack the blanket with that dinky little knife.Match (SeeSaw): “you should empty your bag in case you find good loot” THANKS VIDERE NOW I DONT HAVE MY GOOD WEAPONSVidere (ANON): hey you should know better than to listen to me by now kidMatch (SeeSaw): When we finish this, I will find you and kill you.Halexander (MOD): Also canon, in-character dialogue.Match (SeeSaw): YEET, crit. 5 damageMatch (SeeSaw): Don’t think you’re off the hook here, HalHalexander (MOD): I resent that.Halexander (MOD): And that’s including your proficiency?Match (SeeSaw): 6 damage.Halexander (MOD): That’s what I thought.Halexander (MOD): You slash blindly at the blanket. You manage to cut the corner holding you clean off. You’re still blinded, but you’re free to move.Match (SeeSaw): OKAY YEAH I BACK THE FUCK UP AND ASK VIDERE WHAT THE FUCK THEYRE DOINGHalexander (MOD): You stumble back into the door.Match (SeeSaw): Hold up just a fucking second

I scrolled up to reread the chat.

Match (SeeSaw): Can I try opening the door?Halexander (MOD): Unfortunately, you’ve exhausted your turn. The mass of blankets shoots out another piece but cannot quite reach you in its haste. Obviously, you don’t actually see this because: The blindfold begins to tighten around your eyes. That’s it for that, what’s next on the agenda?Videre (ANON): how many of these drawers could i search in one turn?Halexander (MOD): Two.Videre (ANON): how many drawers in each desk?Halexander (MOD):Three.Videre (ANON): ill search two drawers in the first deskHalexander (MOD): Alrighty then. The first drawer is full of vials and tubes. Most of them stand empty, but there is a vial each of blue, red, and orange liquid. The second contains a weathered journal.Videre (ANON): ill snag those three vials and pocket the journalHalexander (MOD):Of course you will.Match (SeeSaw): Can I open the door now.Halexander (MOD): Since Sherlock Holmes over here can’t do much else, I’ll bite. The door, amazingly, shockingly, opens once you manage to find it with the blindfold currently limiting your sight and putting increasing pressure on your skull.Match (SeeSaw): Okay, we’re dumb.Match (SeeSaw): Videre, the door’s open, let’s get the hell out of here!Videre (ANON): im not doneMatch (SeeSaw): Are you serious right now.Halexander (MOD): Better make the rest of your turn good.Match (SeeSaw): K. I cut the string on the blindfold and join that IDIOT at the desksHalexander (MOD): I’m honestly just gonna take that as a free action.Match (SeeSaw): Sweet. Can I search a drawer?Halexander (MOD): You definitely can.Match (SeeSaw): I’ll start on the middle desk, I guess.Match (SeeSaw): I’ll deal with YOU later, VidereVidere (ANON): looking forward to itHalexander (MOD): The drawer holds a dusty lab coat. That’s it.Match (SeeSaw):Why the fuck not, I’ll take it.Halexander (MOD): You done?Halexander (MOD): Just kidding, I know you are. The blanket wraps around your ankle to pull your feet out from under you. Roll for acrobatics to see if you eat shit.Match (SeeSaw): Jesus fuck.Match (SeeSaw): 10Halexander (MOD): You slam your face into the desk on the way down. Take 1d4 damage for that, and your nose is bleeding.Match (SeeSaw): Why are you doing this to me.Halexander (MOD): You chose to let me design this campaign. What did you think would happen?Match (SeeSaw):2Halexander (MOD): While you’re down, another blanket catches you by the wrist. Again. Go, Videre.Videre (ANON): two more drawersHalexander (MOD): The first is full of pieces of metal. Mostly junk, nuts and bolts. The second is empty, so I’ll knock the action down and let you open another one.Match (SeeSaw): IF YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR HANDS AFTER THIS YOU WILL HELP ME RIGHT NOWVidere (ANON): yeah ill open another drawer. that leaves three left right

They searched every single drawer before helping me, by which time I was almost dead and being smothered by a pillow. They found the deed and I chewed them out on the way back to town. They said they knew I would be fine, they needed to find the deed, and there was no harm done.

Having already seen the parallels this anonymous player was making between their character and myself, I bristled at my computer.

Match (SeeSaw): Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing. You won’t stay anonymous forever.Videre (ANON): oh im so scaredVidere (ANON): are you gonna come kick the shit out of me over a dumb game? give it up and find something else to obsess over if youre gonna be like that kidVidere (ANON): im just staying in character

And I had a good idea who was on the other side of the computer after that. Especially after I found out he’d done a covert investigation check with Hal instead of sharing with me. He knew there was an enemy in the room before we even entered. Was likely planning on using me as a distraction from the beginning.

The next time he surprised me, we were working for the owner of an orphanage to find ways to exploit parents interested in adoption. Match goes along with it because why not. Also because fuck adults.

But Videre surprised both me and Jax.

Jaxabandit (MOD): u want to what?Videre (ANON): buy the orphanageMatch (SeeSaw): We won’t get paid if you do that.Videre (ANON): im gonna assume that was in character and not in this whole ‘ooc’ space or whateverMatch (SeeSaw): Duh. The guy’s slimy and gross. But just because you have money doesn’t mean Match does. He needs the paycheck.Videre (ANON): think of it this wayVidere (ANON): if dicks like this werent in power match wouldnt have grown up on the streetsMatch (SeeSaw): That’s not how he thinks about shit and you know it.Videre (ANON): and hes not the one holding a huge sack of gold right now

I didn’t know what to think. By this point, I knew it was Kane. The fact that I asked Haz helps, but I know the way he talks to me. He’s the only one that would do this and keep up with it for so long.

So now, I’m not exactly sure what to do.

Match just died, like D-E-D, dead, and Videre is flipping the fuck out. The two of them had become fairly close friends. They were snarky and prickly toward each other, but they were partners in crime and would likely kill for each other.

Videre gets really scary in the final stretch of that fight.

I didn’t realize Kane thought so highly of my intimidation skills. I didn’t think he thought highly of me at all, not outside of work. I was just a tool and a weapon and something to either give orders to or take orders from.

But Videre is a force of nature toward the end. Being a mastermind rogue, they confuse the ice devil as well as fighting it. They show a lot of skill they didn’t before, turning a few unlucky rolls into happy mistakes. Even they seem surprised when they win.

Videre (ANON): wellVidere (ANON): i guess i know what its like to be you nowThe Old Hazzle Dazzle (MOD): Are you done now, Kane?Videre (ANON): wow cats out of the bagMatch (SeeSaw): You’re awful at hiding who you are, though.Match (SeeSaw): Also, you’re an assholeThe Old Hazzle Dazzle (MOD): Did you want to make a new character and keep going? Or call it quits for now?Match (SeeSaw): I think I’m done. I gotta go challenge Kane to a fist fight.Videre (ANON):gotta find me first

- Videre (ANON): has left the chat -

He’ll have to try a hell of a lot harder than that to get out of actually hanging out with me like a person.

8 notes · View notes

crystal-ingle · 6 years

Text

Scottys Gonna Kill Me Pt.2- Heath Hussar Imagine

Request:hello lovely!! i absolutely loved the imagine you wrote me!! and i was curious if you would be into writing a part two? maybe one where scotty finds out and he gets really mad at first but eventually calms down and becomes cool with it? ps yOUR WRITING IS LITERALLY A1

Word Count:1231

Warnings: Nothing but a few swear words (:

Note: Thank you guys for all of your support! Also REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Enjoy!

@infinitywakanda

6 Amazing months of my life have passed. Dating Heath has been challenging and the only person to realize and catch on is of course the only person you would expect, Zane. At first we received a shocked response then he became so into the idea. We were about 2 months into our relationship whenever Zane questioned us because i started coming over a lot more often to hang out with Heath. We realised how careless we were being and needed to dial it down a bit. Scotty still has no clue and i'm pretty sure he’d still kill me to this day.

Not seeing Heath was a rarity since we’ve dating he's usually around the house or we’re hanging out, but he was in Florida visiting family and i couldn't travel with him to visit because someone would surely catch on and Zane also went out to visit but is taking Scotty for a surprise for Heath. I feel bad for not telling scotty but i'd like to keep my boyfriend living. I look up after scrolling through tumblr looking at the Heath tag and Kristen looks at me weirdly.

“So Y/N when are you gonna admit to Heath and you dating.”

I look up shocked. “What are you talking about Kris?”

“Honey im not stupid.” she laughs. “I see the way you guys look at eachother and the stubble winking Heath thinks he’s doing isn't going unnoticed. Also you’re both always taking pictures together not to mention the background and lockscreens. AND you’re looking at his tag on tumblr and saving a lot of his pictures.” she looks up and laughs at my expression. “Also i'm pretty sure everyone but Scotty has caught on. Don't worry though i wont tell him.” she smiles.

“Thank god someone finally confronted me besides Zane. Don't get me wrong i feel bad for not telling Scotty but i know he’d be so angry and i honestly love Heath more than anything. He’s made me feel like a princess and im literally head over heels for that stupid man.” I sigh and hug the couch pillow.

“I honestly see the same emotions out of him towards you. Scott may be mad but he can't be mad for long you’re like his sister.”she stretches and grabs the TV remote.

“Yea. Thanks for not telling him Kris.”

“Of course. Now lets order pizza and watch tv.” I laugh and agree.

Around midnight Kris passed out so i put away the leftovers and headed to bed. Before i could get settled in properly i received just the phone call i've been waiting for.

“Hey babydoll how’re you?”

“I’m amazing now that you’ve called. I miss you. Did you tell everyone i said hi?” i smiled

“Of course i did everyone says hi and that they can't wait to officially meet you.”

“Trust me i can't wait either. So i have something to tell you.” i looked up nervously.

“Well what is it?” he laughs.

Oh how i love his laugh. I smile “Apparently Kris and the whole crew know except scotty.” i laugh as Heaths bedroom door opens.

“What don't i know Y/N?”

Heath turns around and then looks back at me.

“Hi scotty. So uh how was your flight.” i say adding a nervous laugh at the end.

Heath gets up and waves at Zane and then looks Scott in the eyes and proceeds to kill our cover. “Me and Y/N have been dating for 6 months going on 7. And before you say anything just know anything you say isn't going to change my opinion because i love her more than you'll ever know. She's someone i want to spend the rest of my life with.” He looks over at me and then back to scotty.

Scotty looks over at me completely pissed. “So when were you going to decide to tell me? Never? I specifically told you “dont date him he’s not got his priorities straight” and you go and do it anyways. I should've know-.” i interrupt him.

“Okay before you go and become an asshole why don't you think of this. Heath has changed he doesnt party, he cares for me, he makes me feel wanted and amazing more than anyone's ever done for me. I don't want to hear this nonsense scotty so talk to me when you can accept that i'm completely and totally in love with Heath Hussar.”

Heaths smiles brightens but scotty's is completely gone. He doesn't respond and just walks out.

“I'm gonna go to bed Heath. I love you. Bye Zane.”

“Goodnight babe i love you too.” with that i hang up and lay in bed wondering what's going to happen.

I wake up the next morning with a text from Heath.

“Hi baby i know you’re asleep but i wanted to leave you a message. I wanted to let you know everything i told scotty was true and more. You’re my princess and my everything i don't know what i’d do without you. Don't worry about scotty too much i'm sure he’ll get over it. But anyways goodnight darling and sleep amazing i love you more than you know.” i smile so big and reply.

“Good Morning my handsome boyfriend. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. You have no idea how happy i am with you and that i went against his wishes and pursued our relationship. He’ll have to get over it because i'm not leaving you. You’re the only one i want to spend the rest of my life with. Have an amazing trip message me when you can.”

Heath Hussar is definitely my prince charming and scotty will have to get over it.

The boys arrive home today and Heath mentioned scotty lightning up around him.

Upon arriving home scotty looked at me and walked passed without saying a word which kinda hurt not gonna lie. I brush it off my shoulder and grab my keys to go see my baby.

It was around 10:30 whenever i got home and was walking into the door with heath in tow because he was spending the night. Everyone was in the living room but scotty, they weren't surprised to see us together because we posted instagram and twitter photos finally exposing ourselves.

Me and Heath were laying in bed watching netflix whenever a knock on my door happened.

“Come in.” A guilty looking scotty walked in.

“Listen im sorry. Kristen knocked some sense in me and im incredibly sorry. I had no place telling you who to date i only did it because i care about you and i hate seeing you get hurt.” scotty looked up. “ And i'm sorry Heath i should’ve seen you could settle down for the right girl.”

Heath laughs “Its fine i can see where you were coming from i was a horrible person at the time but she's proven people can change.” he kisses my cheek.

I laugh. “Honestly it's fine scotty i wouldn't expect a different reaction from you.” i get up and hug him.

“All i have to say is, Heath dont hurt her.”

“I wouldn't think about it i happen to love her too much.”

And so thats how my best friend found out i was dating one of his best friends.

So i guess Scotty isn't going to kill me.

#david dobrik #david dobrik imagine #zane hijazi #heath hussar #heath hussar imagine #toddy smith #alex ernst #jason nash #vlog squad #scotty sire #scotty sire imagine

82 notes · View notes

noxiim · 7 years

Note

(1/3)Okayyyy so i mightve sent a few asks abt this before but this topic is really now bugging me cuz i have depression and im sensitive to like everything. Im starting to take this "not getting notes on my art" thing really personally and i know it sounds childish (and i laugh at myself for it) but i cant help but get upset when i spend so much time and effort and get like no feedback. And i know people say not to draw what u love and not for attention but honestly i dont even know what

and i dont even know if im drawing what ilike sometimes. Yeah i love bts but i dont know if i like what im drawing or ifim just doing it for notes???? And i have a lot of anxiety too and thats wherei feel like im taking this too personally. Cuz im starting to think that my artdoesnt get notes cuz its straight up not good which leads me to think ishouldnt even try to pursue a career in art anymore. But im not good atanything else so wtf am i gonna do if i dont succeed in art???? Like i said i laugh at myself for thinking like this and iprobably sound like a fuckin child but i cant help it???? Like i think my artis decent???? But maybe its not???? Idk like this was really hitting me todaycuz i feel like im wasting so much time and im probably gonna be one of thosepoor college students cuz i decided to focus on art more rather than taking ajob cuz i thought i could make money off of my art but yknow clearly its notgoing so well and im scared for my future U dont have to give advice to all of that i just needed tolet that all out

Aw dude don’t worry I get what you mean,I actually experienced something similar when I first started posting my art totumblr, and even recently when I first started posting bts fanart. It’sperfectly normal to want recognition (in this case in the form of notes) forsomething you worked so hard on!! I think one of the major issues with postingto such a big fandom such as bts though is that there’s so many peopleproducing content at any given time, that it’s incredibly easy to get drownedout. Especially since tumblr changed how search and track tagging worked, itmade it that much harder for people to get noticed for their content.

When I first switched to drawing for bts,I found it hard because I also focused a lot on my note count. For someone whowas originally well established in a previous fandom, the move to bts was quitea jarring experience. I had built my following on tf2 art, and used toconsistently get a couple hundred notes, but one of main reasons why I left wasbecause of the dwindling of note counts. When I first left, overwatch had justcome out and a lot of attention shifted towards that game away from tf2, andalthough I still love the game, the dramatic decrease in notes on my art fortf2 really made me sad and I ended up deciding to leave the fandom after 3years of drawing tf2 art. I hopped around a bit, before eventually getting intobts. Even then, my first few pieces (they’re not on my #bts fanart tag so mostpeople wouldn’t have ever seen them) either got no notes at all or only two orthree. It was easier for me to establish myself in a fandom such as tf2 back inthe day since it was such a small, tight knit community with limited contentcreators, but now with bts there are so many more people and it just seemedhopeless for a while and I lost motivation in my art. I stopped wanting todraw, since it felt like nobody cared. Art is the biggest hobby I have, solosing my confidence in my art was crushing.

Now you might be wondering how I got towhere I am today. I’ll be completely honest with you. For me, I highly doubt Iwould be anywhere near where I am if it weren’t for networks. I had neverjoined a network before, but decided to join armiesnet and jimin network one daywhen I saw that applications were open. I got accepted, and I joined theirrespective group chats too. I met lots of great people on those chats, and madea lot of new friends which was nice after having moved fandoms and lost touchwith many previous mutuals. I’m so glad I joined networks, because not only doyou have the chance to make mutuals who will support you and your art, thenetwork blog itself also reblogs all its members’ content which gives youexposure to members of the network through both the network tag and through thedashboard. It’s a perfect way to get started, rather than hoping that somebodywith a decent following will happen to stumble across your work in the tags oneday and reblog it.

That being said, unless you’re like somesort of godly human being I don’t think we can ever get over how note countsfeel as an artist. We need something to gauge people’s response to our art, andthat tends to default to note counts. I can assure you that the feeling of disappointmentwhen your post doesn’t get as many notes as you want/expected it to is a thingpretty much all artists on this site shares. People always say “you should drawfor yourself, not for other people” but that’s the equivalent of like say themona lisa being painted and then left to rot in Da Vinci’s closet or something.The whole point of art is sharing your ideas/love for something through yourdrawings with other people, and so it’s perfectly normal to want therecognition you deserve for working so hard and putting so much love into yourcraft. When it feels like you’re all alone, you have to remember not to giveup. Creating art in such a big fandom can be unforgiving, but just rememberthat your art is never the one at fault. It’s all about finding that littlegolden window of exposure, whether it be through one big blog or a couplesmaller blogs reblogging your work. Those kind few people will be what helpsyou grow, and you have to keep posting for that to happen. If you water a plantbut it doesn’t bloom the next day, abandoning it will get you nowhere. If youjust keep going, keep watering it, results will come. Keep reminding yourselfthat you’re doing well, and you can compare older art to your current art tosee the progress and keep you motivated. Don’t force yourself to draw if youaren’t feeling it – art is something that should make you happy. I used to drawbecause I felt the pressure to put out content, but that just resulted in mefalling into a negative spiral of art block, limited motivation and generalunhappiness with my art as a result. Remember that there’s no such thing as adeadline when it comes to posting art on tumblr – work at whatever pace suitsyou and if anybody tries to rush you, shut them down. You’re the artist, youget to choose what you do with your art, how you do it, and how long you spendon it.

If you truly have your sights set onbecoming an artist full time, then by all means go for it! I can’t give muchadvice in that area since I only plan on keeping art as a hobby, but justremember that art school is always optional. In the end, working as an artistis all about the portfolio, not where you graduated from. It’s more importantto work on your art than it is to get in to an amazing art school. Sure, artschools can be useful, but in the end they are simply tools, sort of like atutorial rather than something that will magically turn you into an amazing artistwith amazing job offers. At the end of the day, it’s all up to yourself to workhard and promote yourself. Since art is all about reaching different audienceswith your work, promoting yourself is essential, even if it’s just casualfanart on tumblr. Feedback can’t come without exposure, and exposure can’t comewithout self-promotion.

Lastly, remind yourself that there’s nosuch thing as ‘bad art’. That might sound like a stupid statement, but inreality art is a constantly changing thing. There is no pinnacle of perfection,no model artwork that represents the most perfect drawing out there. Everyonehas different styles, everyone has different approaches, and most importantly,everyone is still improving. I’m still learning and trying to improve my ownart, and there’s no shame in that. It’s easy to perceive someone else’s art asbetter than yours which would lead to some self-critical thoughts, but you haveto remember that the other artist is probably looking at their own art andpicking it apart, thinking “aw man there are so many mistakes here.” It’s fineto make mistakes, after all, that’s how we learn. Just because we see mistakesin our own art doesn’t mean that everyone else will too – nobody looks at artand their first thought is to list all of the mistakes present. As long as youare aware of what you are less confident in and actively work to improve it,you can quickly surpass even the people you look up to.

So yeah, sorry that this is hella longlol, but in all honestly I can understand what you’re going through. It’seasier said than done, but even though it might feel hard - don’t give up. Youmight feel like you’re not getting anywhere at the moment but I assure you thatif you just keep going, things will only get better. That’s the thing abouttumblr, if you keep posting art your audience can only grow. For now, I would definitelyrecommend joining some networks, and making some friends. It’s not uncommon forpeople to promo their own work in the network chat occasionally, as long as youdon’t spam haha

Anywho, I wish you the best of luck withyour art journey. If you need me you know where to find me 💕💕💕

#long post #sorry I kind of rambled #but anon if you want to talk to me don't be afraid to message me instead #I'm always here if you need to vent 💕#asks #Anonymous #art asks

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parallel-lineage · 7 years

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Tags I’ve collected from the post two weeks somehow

Tagged by @epicfallenismine for all of these!!

rules: answer the eleven questions given to you and then make up eleven more for the people you tag.

1. If you could wear one outfit for the rest of your life, what would it be?

So like those outfits you put on dead people for funerals?? Oh shit that got dark, I’m not okay. I apologize. I wouldn’t mind wearing a cute dress, really comfortable leggings, and boots that come up to my knees. Don’t forget the jacket/sweater-

2. Can you pick up objects using only your feet?

Sometimes

3. Favourite youtuber or youtube video?

Right now, I really like CDawgVA but like. If I had a favorite Youtube video that I watched all the time, does HEAVENS performance of Immortal Inferno from Legend Star count???

4. Would you rather be a mermaid or a fairy?

I always wanted to be both, but I’d rather be a mermaid. I love the water, almost like HAru, but not as much. If it were up to me, I could lay under water all day and not drown. SInce I’m human, I can not do that.

5. Name a movie/book/etc that you did not expect to like but managed to surprise you. Why?

Diabolik Lovers..... You really don’t want to know why tbh.

6. Sweet or savoury?

Sweet, I crave sweet things like a bat outta hell.

7. If you had to dye your hair any colour, which and why?

Ummmm.. Maybe like purplish that fades into a turquoise color?? For like two years now I’ve been wanting to dye my hair like this but it’d be too much of a hassle.

8. If you had one opportunity to teleport wherever you want, where and why?

Straight to the universe of my wife, Luci. Where she resides in England waiting for me-

9. Is there something you started saying ironically but now can’t stop saying? If so, what? If not, what is something that you annoys you when people say it a lot?

I have a lot of stuff like that. I say “ii” to quote Eiichi. I say “what the mcfrick” and “what the heckie” and im at a loss. I also do stuff I started doing ironically and now its just kinda stuck??? And people wonder why I hate myself :’)

10. Favourite hobby?

B A N D

11. Llamas in hats or seals in bowties?

Why not both?

My Questions:

Would you rather be locked in a shark tank, or walk into a wolf den?

Is school a safe zone for you? Why? If not, is the internet your safe zone?

What’s your favorite fast food (this is my american side im sorry)?

Why do you like what you’re currently obsessing over and what is that obsession?

Do you have a crush on anybody irl, online, or perhaps a celebrity or fictional character?

Unicorn or Phoenix?

Gay Rainbows or Blue Flames?

Describe your aesthetic in the worst way possible.

Favorite type(s) of music?

Any interesting facts???

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name: nicknames: Jamie’s my name, no nicknames here folks, but really if you want a nickname... Idk just call me James like Nadie does. zodiac sign: Taurus (cause im a piece of shit) height: 5 feet exactly-ish (i’m a little over but not enough to add an inch :’) ) orientation: Ummmm, i want to say bisexual but like... girls are good nationality: aND IM PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN- (im not i fucking hate america) favourite fruit: apples, watermelon, and bananas. favourite season: Winter!!! Cause all of the bugs I don’t like are mostly dead :) favourite book: Lockwood and Co. The Water Fire Saga. Lord of the Rigs. The Hobbit. How To Kill a Mockingbird. The Great Gatsby. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime. The Magic Treehouse. The Hunger Games. MAXIMUM RIDE (Im thinking manga doesnt count soo...) favourite colour: Turquoise and Teal (now people know why im biased towards Azusa Mukami) favourite animal: UMMMMM DOGS AND CATS AND HORSES ???? coffee | tea | hot cocoa: Coffee and Hot Cocoa. The other really isnt my cup of tea. (Anyone see what i did there?) average hours of sleep: With marching band 4-6, and normally 6-8ish. cat or dog person: both favourite fictional characters: HAJIME MUTSUKI- (im done here, actually i lied im not this is a very long list save me, imma just put my faves from the shit ive obsessed over through the years) ALL OF HEAVENS, Tomochika Shibuya, and Reiji Kotobuki (UtaPri), Eowyn, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Merry, and Pippin (LOTR), Kazuna Masunaga (B-Pro), Bumblebee (Transformers), Cinderella, Lucy Carlyle and Quill Kipps (Lockwood and Co.), Jorge (Halo Reach), Rapunzel, Barbie, Ahsoka Tano (Star Wars), Bilbo Baggins, Tauriel, Thranduil, Bard, Thorin, Fili, and Kili (The Hobbit), All of TsukiPro at this point in time and that’s pretty much... Most of them. number of blankets you sleep with: 7+ it depends on the night blog created: July 2015 number of followers: 600+ (most are probably porn blogs i just havent blocked yet cause im lazy af and i really dont care) random fact: ummm, I have glasses and I feel like theyve slowly absorbed into my personality and people freak out when I take them off?? Its like Im slowly becoming an Anime character-

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Dont worry, Im not tagging anyone~

OR SO YOU THOUGHT

@tooobsessedwith-quartetnight @melanie-ko @semie78 @polarbearsamurai @mikaze-san

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paladinpandemonium · 7 years

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Tag Post!!

I was tagged by @commodorecliche!! Thank you!!

RULES: ANSWER THESE 85 QUESTIONS AND TAG SOME PEOPLE

I shall put this post under the cut, since it will be a long one!! I’m gonna tag @vomet-comet @skeletonflows @kigamin @welcometothephatparade @boomeruption @livingrainbow :D Of course normal rules apply, if you dont wanna do this, you have no obligation to, its just for a bit of fun! :D

THE LAST 1. DRINK: Hot Chocolate 2. PHONE CALL: My Grandma 3. TEXT MESSAGE: My Mum 4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: This is Gospel - Panic! At The Disco 5. TIME YOU CRIED: Hmmm.... I’m not too sure actually. :/ I’m not really a person who cries unless something MEGA SERIOUS happens 6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: Never :3 7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: Only ever kissed 2 people, and I havent regretted either ^-^ 8. BEEN CHEATED ON: Nope. 9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: Not a person...do cats count? 10. BEEN DEPRESSED: I havent ever been diagnosed depressed, so I guess not. Unless this means just having a really big downer mood for a long period of time? In that case, I guess? 11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: Nope! :D 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS 12. Cyan 13. Purple 14. Dark Pinks IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: You betcha I have! 16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: Wasn’t properly in love with anyone in the first place :3 17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: Far too many times to count! I blame you guys, you know who you are! 18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: Yeah, but it wasnt anything bad :3 19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: Yes!! * Looks @vomet-comet * 20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: I am the type of person who *usually* (I have been know to make mistakes D:) only makes friends with people after I can be sure I can trust them :3 21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: Yups ^-^

GENERAL 22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: Must be only a handful that I havent met in real life 23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: Two cats called Noah and Roan and 3 Chickens called Agnus, Lucy and Margo (Anyone who sees where those names are from, my parents named them, not me :D) 24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: Nope, I’m chill. 25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: I share my birthday with my Dad and it is right next to Christmas, so we went for a family night out to a restaurant to celebrate the season in general ^-^ 26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: This morning, I woke up at 8. Its the summer holidays though, so I could wake up at any time from 7:30 to 11:30 really 27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: Chatting with the peeps, and scrolling through this hellsite <3 28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: My trip to Granada this coming October/November! 29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: 10 minutes ago, before she left for work 31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: Good Grief - Bastille 32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: I have yes, there is one in my year at Sixth Form! Why you gotta know, tho? *checks side to side* 33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: My nerves :D xD Seriously, if there is one thing that makes my blood boil the most, it is my anxiety. LET ME DO THE THING DAMMIT 34. MOST VISITED WEBSITE: Here and Facebook :D 35. HAIR COLOUR: Dark Brown 36. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: Short 37. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: Not really, I guess 38. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: Hmmm, physically my eyes, personality wise my friendliness (I hope I can be counted as friendly??? D:) 39. PIERCINGS: None, it is something that has crossed my mind once or twice, but I would probably get 1HKO’d by my father if I got one now xD 40. BLOOD TYPE: I genuinely don’t know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I really wanna know tho.... 41. NICKNAME: Matt, Filthy Mercy Main, Hooker (its my last name) and The Gay™ 42. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single pringle and ready (not really) to mingle 43. ZODIAC: I’m a Capricorn 44. PRONOUNS: He/Him 45. FAVOURITE TV SHOW: YURI!!! ON ICE!!! WOOOO! My current obsession phase atm is Voltron, though! GO LOTOR GO 46. TATTOOS: None 47. RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED: So right handed it hurts me 48. SURGERY: Never had any surgery ^-^

50. SPORT: The only sport I do is Ice Skating (I wonder why.....but I am getting ok at it now!! I am Grade 6 by the UK standards!!) 51. VACATION: I’m going up to Northumberland for a week after my Exam Results day with the famalamalamalam 52. PAIR OF TRAINERS: Converse :D MORE GENERAL 53. EATING: Nothing 54. DRINKING: Hot Chocolate 55. I’M ABOUT TO: Play more Overwatch (I just got my silver portrait for being level 600, and I am revelling in it) 56. WAITING FOR: The sweet release of death (plus Mercy’s new skin) 57. WANT: To pass Spanish A-Level. PLEASE GOD, I KNOW I HAVENT BELIEVED IN YOU BEFORE, BUT HELP ME OUT HERE D: 58. GET MARRIED: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

WHICH IS BETTER: 60. HUGS OR KISSES: Both! 61. LIPS OR EYES: Both. 62. SHORTER OR TALLER: Preferably taller, but it doesnt really bother me 63. OLDER OR YOUNGER: Don’t really care. 64. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: Either or 65. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: Relationship. 66. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: I don’t really mind! HAVE YOU EVER: 67. KISSED A STRANGER: Nope 68. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: Nope 69. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: I have, but after I lost my glasses, my lenses fixed themselves, so I don’t need them anymore :D ^-^ 70. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: Yup. 71. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: HAHAHHAAHA, nope 72. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: Maybe? Idk.... 73. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: YUSH 74. BEEN ARRESTED: Nope! 75. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: No-one near me has died 76. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: YUSH (MADA MADA) DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. YOURSELF: Depends on the alinements of the stars, whether I had quality time with my cats, and how many blood sacrifices I have received (i.e. sometimes) 78. MIRACLES: Not in the religious sense, but something happening against overwhelming odds? Sure 79. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: Not love. Maybe want, but not love. 80. SANTA CLAUS: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SANTA ISNT REAL 81. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: It would be nice, but I would never enforce it e.t.c. as I am too much of a culprit of not seizing the moment xD 82. ANGELS: Nope OTHER: 84. EYE COLOUR: Light Blue 85. FAVOURITE MOVIE: I honestly couldnt say... a couple of my favourites are The Nightmare Before Christmas, Maleficent, How to Train Your Dragon and The Road to El Dorado

#tag post #about me

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