#i do feel like part of it has to do with me switching my adhd meds since there was a shortage of the one i was using | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

saudadeko · 8 months

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ADHD tips from a girlie who was diagnosed in her late twenties and has had little to no support since and is being so brave about it:

1) Make it easy, make it accessible, and make it appealing. If anything this is the most important thing, all tips going forward are based around this concept.

2) That thing you think would help you but you haven’t bought/done it yet because you’re technically surviving without it? Buy it, you need it. It doesn’t matter if people around you might think it’s wasteful or that you’re lazy, you’re not, just do it, trust me.

3) Expanding on tip #2, if you’re like me and eggs are your main source of protein because they’re quick and easy and feeding yourself is a near insurmountable task- buy yourself an electric egg cooker, make a bunch of hard boiled eggs and keep them in your fridge for quick and easy protein to add to any meal (handful of crackers, a hard boiled egg and a banana? 5 star meal right there. Or mash them up with some mayo for egg salad sandwiches). Other easy proteins include: potstickers (put them in instant ramen), edamame (they have microwaveable snack packs), chickpeas (put in salads!), beans (can of beans microwaved with shredded cheese and some tortilla chips), peanut butter (with crackers, apple and cheese, adult lunchable style), and tofu (cut into cubes, throw them into a ziplock with some seasoning and potato starch, shake that shit up and bake it until crispy).

4) Spend a little extra (if you are able) on daily use items that excite you, it will make you more likely to remember/want to do said daily task. For example: the only reason I remember to use sunscreen is because I bought some fancy japanese sunscreen that smells like roses so I get excited to use it, same for laundry detergent and body wash! there’s a gajillion different body wash scents out there, switch it up!

5) If there’s a task you continuously struggle with take a moment to think about which part of the task is making it difficult, it could be something even as small as “I don’t put my dirty clothes in the hamper because my hamper has a lid on it and lifting the lid is one step too many-”, sounds a little stupid huh? But trust your gut, it’s not stupid if it works. See tip #2 and BUY A HAMPER WITHOUT A LID.

6) If you are having trouble starting a task, break the task down further, sometimes the way I start a task is just by going “Ok step 1) stand up-“ and so forth. Don’t worry about the task as a whole just take it one step at a time.

7) If you’re halfway through a task and have to stop, leave it out. All this, “Put things away when you’re done with them.” is bullshit. you will be much more likely to finish the task if restarting it is easier because you left it out plus it’s a visual reminder. You can also create faux deadlines like “I gotta finish this project before my friend comes over on tuesday because after I finish it I can clean off the dinner table.” etc.

8) It’s okay to outsource tasks and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, humans are designed to ask for, and to require help (what do babies do when they’re first born?? cry for help!!) ask for help and receive help without shame, if it makes your life better, you are WINNING.

9) If you have one big overwhelming task that you think you need to get done before anything else, but you feel motivated to do other tasks, do those other tasks first, it’s okay. Otherwise in all likelihood (at least in my case) you’ll put everything off until the last minute and then have to do said overwhelming task and those other tasks won’t get done at all. Doing those smaller tasks also lowers the mental load and you can use them as a motivation launch pad to tackle bigger things.

10) If you notice you tend to not put something away/forget to do something, perhaps consider moving and storing the item closer to where it ultimately ends up or where you are more likely to see it. For example, my makeup, pills, and mail are all stored on my desk because that’s where I tend to do my makeup, take my pills and deal with my mail. I used to store my pills in my bathroom medicine cabinet but all too often I would forget because they weren’t in my line of sight. Now that they’re on my desk, I have multiple chances per day to pass by them, go “oh I gotta take those.” and take them.

11) Open storage, open storage, OPEN STORAGE.

12) Motivation can look like all kinds of things. sometimes the only reason I get out of bed is because I remember I have a fun snack and I get to go eat it if I get up. It’s okay to lean into those simple “animal-brain” type motivators, you’ll eat because then you can use that fun new kitchen gadget you got a daiso? Neat. you’ll shower because then you can paint your nails that fun new color you got? Fantastic. You’ll go to the dmv and do that annoying thing because you’ll take yourself out for boba after? Superb. Lean-IN to those small motivators, they aren’t stupid or childish, they are VITAL.

13) Don’t buy into the cult of “if it’s worth doing, do it properly” it’s guaranteed to set you up for failure. If it’s worth doing, do it in whatever capacity you are able to. I put sunscreen on once a day because that’s fucking better than not doing it at all and I sure as all hell will fail at reapplying it multiple times a day. If it’s worth doing, do it half-assed babieeee.

Go forth and prosper!!! xoxo ✌️🩵

#adhd #actually adhd #living with adhd #adhd tips #felt like writing these out for reference as needed

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audhd-space · 1 month

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Hi. Do you have any tips on how to be productive and how to stick to a routine? I create routines but can barely stick to them, and it's stressful trying to stay on top of schoolwork and other extracurricular activities. Thanks!

Hello, been away to focus on my health.

I’ll try to keep it simple: so a lot of the times people with ADHD fail to stick to routine or have difficulty forming habits is mostly due to our object impermanence.

So taking account object impermanence when forming a routine means :

1. Creating ADHD friendly space at home.

• some people with ADHD have struggles with teeth cleaning / brushing teeth, so what you can do is place it near your bed

• some people with ADHD have problems with misplacing items, so what you need is not to be more vigilant, BUT YOU NEED VISUAL CUES, and place the items where it is EASY TO SEE AND REACH. If putting it in the middle of hallway is easy for you to take it every morning (even if it is odd place), then that’s the routine that works for you!

• same as eating, if you have problems forgetting to eat, having a few snacks/ready to eat food placed in front of you will reduce the amount of energy/spoon you need to take in order to get food.

• some adjustment I made to make my home ADHD-friendly is to have a lot of label stickers (at door, at switches, at kitchen). I also switched to transparent container so my items can be seen and easily found.

2. Your body already has its own routine, you just need to tune in and listen to it.

• What is automatic for you? Observe your one week and track the pattern. What is the best task you have ever completed and why is it so engaging? This is not going to be straightforward, but it shouldn’t be because everyone is different and unique.

• If you have ever felt guilty for playing games while eating, then that’s also how your ADHD brain trying to keep you engaged and focus doing your routine (eating).

• same as if you need to do your homework while watching a documentary or listening to podcast, sometimes adding more distractions can help people with ADHD concentrate better.

• if your body relies and thrives on novelty, then you have to find ways to keep improvising your daily tasks. Don’t feel bad for not being able to stick to routine, you probably thrive more from sticking to your routine from variety of places or working with different people.

3. Always gamify your task and keep it fun.

• this is how I try to keep daily tasks and routine less daunting.

• it sounds weird but do your routine/daily task with the craziest approach you have right now.

• just like in games, it works better if you have a buddy or enemy you need to squash in order to tackle the tasks!

Most important lesson, for me with ADHD, is ACCEPTING THAT I HAVE AN EVER CHANGING ROUTINE.

It is part of how I move, it is part of how I get things done.

#ADHD #routine #actuallyADHD #disability #ADHD hacks #neurodivergent #tips

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daftpatience · 9 days

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Hi, I used to draw a lot but I've not drawn/created for a long time now, any tips to get back into it?

Or rather the whole thing about making art for yourself, I used to get a lot of attention for being good at art from other ppl and I'm not sure how to connect it back to myself again

I'm also contending with the Autism "It needs to be done in this way" and the ADHD "I can't focus for shit"

Also please don't worry if you don't know what to say, I'm just trying to get a variety of opinions to try and untangle my brain

Thank you in advance 💕

i think a good way to get back into creating *for yourself* whether its to come out of a dry spell or just to get back to creating things that you like, is what i call 'backtracking' (bearing in mind that my particular methods may only work for me! im lucky ive never struggled with focus when it comes to drawing things, but maybe some of these things will help as my main goal when drawing is to entertain myself!)

also before i move on this i think is valuable: you gotta draw things that you aren't gonna post sometimes. it's fun and fulfilling to make art for an audience, and wanting attention is not shameful (ITS HUMAN!) but also we live in panopticon times and i think its good to train your "i am alone doing something for myself and no one has to see it" muscles.

backtracking is a couple different things:

look back to when you were really young. what kinds of drawings were the most fun to do? what did you spend time on or get really into? for me, this was a few things! tracing cartoons, drawing up elaborate scenes of lots of little creatures doing a thing, and designing little characters as paper dolls and making their houses and little furniture and accessories and such to cut out and play with. also getting paint all over my hands (i still paint my whole hand whenever im done doing something with acrylics before i wash up! its stimming)! backtracking here is when you try to take those things and make use of them now. try to find that old joy and use it in a way that makes you happy today, even if it's something small or silly or embarrassing. it can really help you rediscover what parts of art make YOU happy!

if you're regularly drawing and in a slump, backtracking for me is stepping back and doing either more exercises and practising the things you feel like you already know how to draw (ie. studying angles of the face or pulling up imgs of rooms on pinterest to see how normal people arrange furniture etc.), or simplifying your drawings to a level that feels more relaxing and less stressful. (ie. chibis instead of more detailed characters etc.) i find i kind of fall back to chibis when i feel lost, and then sort of rebuild from there. its fun to let my style change as i grow!

ALSO! im telling your autism this for your adhd's sake (this is useful for anyone i think): if there is a part of art that you do not enjoy doing or find boring but you feel it is an important or necessary step in the process? the secret is it isnt! art is made up. if you hate lining, dont do it! if youre a digital artist and get caught up picking a brush every time because you feel like you need the perfect one? switch to mspaint for a bit to get the nerves out. it can be really freeing!

art is for having fun and fulfilling our need to create. the rules are all made up and not real. perfectionism is the little death that something something i forget. yeah

#hope that helps!#art advice #sorry its a lot of text

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samioli · 21 days

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I humbly ask for your NaruMitsu headcanons. Please

OOOOH man. this is hard to think on the spot but ill try my best! SFW headcanons:

-Phoenix is Bi. He also experimented with larry in college, you cannot convince me otherwise fdsnjkdsf

-Miles is gay (in my mind) and also demisexual!

-phoenix has ADHD and BPD, Miles is autistic

-Miles either makes too little eye contact or too MUCH eye contact. no in between

-Miles may pretend to be indifferent, but he LOVESSSS phoenix's scruffy look during the 7yg. finds it v hot and wants to stim on his stubble

sorry i cannot think of anymore sfw headcanons JNDFKJNDSFJK

NSFW Headcanons

-I think they're switches, but I think Miles leans more into being submissive of the two of them. Just my opinion! and i think he can def be dominant, especially if phoenix wants that.

-going off of that, i think it takes time for him to be comfortable with that too. In my head, he's tried to hook up with other men in the past, but he always felt sick to his stomach when trying. He thought for a while if he was in control that would help, and i think part of him def wants to be in control when he's with strangers, but once he's with phoenix he learns that he can start to let go of some of that control in a safe, loving environment. and eventually he's like putty in phoenix's hands

-Once Miles and Phoenix start dating, miles at this point thinks he's asexual and "warns" phoenix, bc he's concerned it might be a dealbreaker. phoenix totally understands, tells him they never have to have sex if that was what was comfortable for miles, that he loves Miles as a person. miles is so smitten with this man

-Phoenix often checks in with Miles during like kissing and everything if its all okay, and one day when they're making out, Phoenix pulls back and asks him if he's okay--Phoenix with his hair a lil messy and his checks flushed and lips swollen. and miles is like. oh

-He feels himself actually WANTING to touch phoenix and make him look even MORE disheveled and he's just SO overwhelmed but in a GOOD way and he WANTs

i think it goes down like this:

Phoenix: "U-Uh, Miles? Should we, uh--hnghh--sl-slow down, or…?" Miles stops for a moment: "Would you like to stop?" Phoenix, sheepish: "W-Well, no, but what about you? Isn't this--?" Miles: "Wright. I'm quite certain if you do not take your trousers off right this second, I will surely explode." Phoenix: Phoenix, internally: ᴏʜ ᴍʏ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ɢᴏᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛs sᴏ ʜᴏᴛ

-once thats out in the open, miles is fucking KINKY. and a horndog. me and sapphirewine have joked that they're just going at it over and over again until phoenix runs dry bc miles is insatiable now that he feels like this

-miles def has some like, fantasy kinks. micro/macro. unrelastic kinks like that. cum jar who said that

-and phoenix is just a pure freak he's like YEAH SURE!!! WHAT ELSE!!!!! YOU WANNA BE THE NAUGHTY YEAST TO MY BAKER?

-they are so weird and i love them for it

-it gets to the point where its like they always "yes and" each other during sex. this is both good and bad. good bc they're in a loving relationship where they can trust each other and they're very similar with their kinks so they bond over that. Bad in the sense that they be having sex roleplay where, as sapph said once, "spilled milk on aisle 6 and grocery store employee" they'll somehow do it. i believe in them.

-they have very few limits i feel

-again. both good and bad dkfjndjksfn

my brain is getting sleepy so ill end it here but i hope you enjoyed my rambling!

#narumitsu #miles edgeworth #phoenix wright #ace attorney

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callmethehunter · 4 months

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Oh dear Anon, you have made my day! These are great questions about my favorite subject in the world: Robert Plant.:D And as far as that goes, I could (and will) go on and on about this forever, I’ve got so much to say!!

I’ve been obsessed with Robert’s music as well as with his personal life for years. I find him to be a multifaceted, highly talented and intelligent person who embodies traits that one would think were mutually exclusive, yet are somehow at home in him. He is without a doubt, totally outrageous and extroverted, he wants to be the center of attention, yet he is also reclusive, a deep thinker who is keenly aware of the world around him while also being introspective and self-aware. In his own words he has said

“It's part of me to get off on those moments where... well, what people would call attention. Obviously, that isn't the be-all and end-all of life, but at the states of creativity that I've reached, well, it helps the lyrics along a little bit.”

“ I’m pleased with how ridiculous I am. I like me. Though I’m not a huge fan. I know when to switch me off.”

I do think he has a very warm heart. He is genuinely interested in other people, in experiencing the most out of any given situation.

In my opinion, he loves the idea and the feeling of falling in love. He gets off more on that than on the longevity. It’s like he’s got ADHD in the aspect of love lol!! I say this because of the number of serious relationships (and not so serious relationships) that he has had in his life. I’m sure he was saddened when they ended, but then he’s moved on to the next great infatuation and adventure. He’s quite capable of starting again, as he has shown multiple times both in his personal and professional life. But I also think it’s a testimony to his heart that he’s been able to continue to be friends with his past loves. “There have been people I've warmed to over the years but, as the situation I'm in is so fleeting and transient, I've always known it's going to be over kind of real quick.”

I mean think about this: after having children with two sisters, Maureen (his exwife) and Shirley, they have been able to raise their children in what looks like a loving extended family. His sons, Logan (with Maureen) and Jesse (with Shirley), are half-brothers as well as first cousins. Just think on that for a moment. In a recent picture, there’s the entire family on vacation: Maureen, Shirley and their children with Robert, as well as Robert and a previous girlfriend, Jessica something or other (don’t remember her name). He’s not confined to societal conventions. He could give a flying fuck. I love that free spirit and he himself has said (and I paraphrase) that he may come across as being a good mate, but in reality he’s out to do whatever the fuck he wants. (And it shows!! )

He says, “...if you do what you think is right for the benefit of everybody and everything and you make decisions, then to go back and regret them afterwards - it's a futile experience and it's not worth thinking about. Because life just unfolds. Provided you do your best and you think you're on the right track, you can only be right or wrong. But to regret it - I don't think there are any huge errors or misdemeanors.”

In the area of friendship, however, he is fiercely loyal. He and Bonzo were like brothers till the end, and even still, Robert honors his dear friend. He’s also been able to maintain friendships with so many people from his hometown- people he knew before he was famous. He puts away the trappings of fame and fortune to be the good old Black Country boy, riding horses and playing with goats, walking around in the forests and enjoying nature.

“I think I could sing and shear a few sheep at the same time.” He is the picture of the word “earthiness”. Able to be the rock god on stage as well as the humble farmer on the farm or at the local pub. He’s loyal to his soccer team and to the sport itself which has been a lifelong passion. And I love that in him.

Is he a hedonist? Absolutely, he has tasted every pleasure there is to taste. His every material wish could be a reality in an instant...He has done drugs, had hundreds of one night stands. He is a highly sensual man. IMO the sexiest man that’s ever walked the planet. His sizeable bulge perpetually stands* as a symbol (no pun intended*) of his virility and lust (and I like it!!) He exudes charisma and raw sexual energy. He’s done it all to the highest level, partied and cavorted around the globe. What a life he’s lived!!

But in his lyrics there is also a deep spiritual side of him: I think he is a modern day troubadour and philosopher. His lyrics touch on that, “it is the springtime of my loving” ….“In the light you will find the road” “when all is one and one is all” “Then as it was, then again it will be, though the course may change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea” and I could go on and on with other examples. These are just what popped in my head. “I am a reflection of what I sing. Sometimes I have to get serious because the things Ive been through are serious” He’s had moments where he is the “golden god” as well as tragic moments such as the loss of his 5 year old son and the loss of his dear friend Bonzo. These are definitely reflected in his music.

All in all, in his own words:

“I'm like one of those firecrackers that goes off in your pocket occasionally. I'm not really struggling with it as much as the people around me. But at least I'm not doing too much damage to anybody or to myself. It's just the condition I'm aware of.

And he’s still got a twinkle in his eye.

Thank you for letting me go and on about this man, he holds such a special place in my heart. He is a beautiful and joyous old hippie full of wisdom and talent.. He has created a lasting legacy and I hold the deepest admiration for him, despite his human frailties or shortcomings.

#robert plant #led zeppelin #thanks for indulging me on my favorite subject #you deserve a medal if you read all the way through!#i just love him💕

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hopehjort · 1 year

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Why (Inattentive) ADHD folks are so sensitive to rejection.

I want to talk about this. It’s been in my mind a lot lately. In October I got my inattentive ADHD diagnosis at the age of 29 (I turn 30 in just 20 days).

Inattentive ADHD is what used to be call ADD in the past. The reason it’s not anymore is because we still have that Hyperactivity. It’s still there. It’s in our head, our mind, our racing thoughts going 100 miles an hour. The daydreaming, the excited rambling, the zoning out and completely ignoring everything around you for a solid 2-5 minutes before realising you’re driving on the highway(before you ask YES. This has happened to me on several occasions - no I have miraculously not been in any accidents.)

It’s an internal hyperactivity.

Anyway - all my life I’ve been struggling with a lot of emotional turmoil and if there’s one thing I know I’m afraid of. Something that can and has absolutely done in the past – break me – it’s rejection.

Social rejection, relationship rejection, romantic rejection, job rejection. We’ve all been there. It’s part of life. And every time someone express fear of said rejection. The response is almost always the same.

- What’s the worst that can happen?

- It’s not the end of the world.

- A no won’t kill you.

All true by the way yes. In the overview of the world, yes. Certainly things I’ve said myself. Things I’m still working on accepting.

Everybody has an emotional volume switch on the inside. Something you can turn up and down depending on your feelings.

ADHD folks often usually have a different kind of switch. We have off and on. 0% and 100%. Now There is a way to practice feeling the different percentages inbetween but it can be hard. Also remember everybody is different and I am primarily speaking from personal experience and talking with others who has felt similar.

What does 0 vs 100% mean you ask?

Well it means either you can or you can’t. If I get the job I applied for that’s 100% - I CAN do what I want to work as.

If I happen to not get the job I applied for? That 0%. That’s me being told that I’m not good enough. And the more rejections I get the more I’m told how much I truly must suck at this type of job I really want.

The more rejections given the bigger, the louder, the more INTENSE this 0% becomes.

No. It’s not the end of the world. It won’t kill me. But it hurts so bad it feels like it does.

“Stop getting upset. It’s just a lost toy, it’s just one job, It’s just one guy/girl/any, It’s just xyz, it’s not that bad.”

No. It’s not JUST xyz. Yes it IS that bad because it FEELS that bad. Because it feels intense. We can’t just linger somewhere in between. Even though we want to.

Just… be aware. Understand that we try but it’s not that easy. Things hits us harder because if we don’t feel at 0% we feel it at 100%.

And no one wants to feel at 0%.

#ADHD #Inattentive ADHD #RSD #Text #personal

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thelostgirl21 · 10 months

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Okay, someone wrote that they thought Jaskier had ADHD in some of my tags, and I've just GOT to address this, because asfjasfljadsflasjd;dlasja;slfjd;as...

@aro-tarot , OMFG YES!!!

As someone with ADHD, I've got such strong ADHD vibes from Jaskier like you wouldn't believe!

(That, plus I tend to headcanon that Jaskier suffers from Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), a condition strongly associated with ADHD, but more on that further down...)

I mean he's usually got no freaking impulse control whatsoever, and no filter on his mouth!

And even when he HAS that filter on, and some vague awareness that opening his mouth further and speaking his mind might get him into yet more trouble…

Well, the frustration he feels in the now is apparently so strong that the possibility of having to pay a price later is but a too distant and abstract concept to be enough to put a stop to that mouth!

I mean, that moment right here?

Someone without ADHD would have stopped themselves at "Am I going to say it?" because of the "Yeah, if I antagonize him, he might decide to keep me away from getting on that boat and I'll jeopardize my safety as well as the safety of the people that are currently counting on me," that should normally logically follow...

Someone with a very strong case of ADHD however... Well, they might just have to say it!

Same thing in Season 1 with the elves. Jaskier's bound and tied ,and he just keeps antagonizing them because he's angry, and the need to express his anger somehow screams louder than the punch or the kick he'll be receiving 2 freaking seconds later if he keeps verbally lashing out at them!

Self-soothing and impulse managing are two skills that Jaskier doesn't quite have a good mastery of.

Like, don't let him get his hands on a djinn while heartbroken, drunk, and deeply wounded (because his best and very possibly queerplatonic friend just insulted his singing, while implying that it was likely why his other friend/lover had just left him, no less)... He might just start wishing Valdo Marx dead!

Generally, I'd strongly advise keeping him away from anything that could potentially become a weapon if he's highly emotional.

That's never a good combination.

Jaskier might do something he'll regret, and realize it was awfully dumb and stupid only once he's deeply in trouble, or has finally calmed down.

ADHD isn't a mood disorder, but it's been described as a "failure to self-regulate moods disorder".

Meaning that people with ADHD feel the same emotions as anyone else most of the time (RSD is a bit of an exception; again, more on that later), but they'll just have a harder time avoiding openly expressing them, and stopping themselves from acting upon them.

They can succeed most of the time (thankfully); and I highly suspect that Jaskier might be at his most focused and emotionally measured around Ciri, because he feels responsible for her.

Adults often have this instinct to sacrifice their own needs and wants to give priority to those of children (including sometimes teenagers, and/or grown children they've adopted as part of their family system and are still mentoring through life).

People with ADHD also tend to have a blast playing aunt/uncle, because we can super easily connect with the sense of wonder, excitement, and defiance of authority of children and younger people - be very impulsive and silly with them and act like children and teens ourselves, at times - while still remaining responsible and protective of them when we need to be.

It's like suddenly flipping our "adult switch" on, because we're aware they need us to be the adult.

But fellow adults don't need us to "adult" for their sake.

They typically have their own shit together way better than we do! So, we're just that almost full time impulsive dumb kid that they need to constantly watch out for while around our adult friends.

UNLESS they make it extremely clear to us that they need our help and/or for us to focus. We can "adult" if the stakes are high, and/or they need our support, too.

But that's not our default mode!

We'd rather be chasing butterflies and playing videogames / writing songs (or meta... Meta's good... My brain loves meta because it's always over-analyzing things!), doing whatever keeps us interested and stimulated in the now, than carefully planning things and being responsible.

And there's also that scene where Jaskier is in the Witcher lab with Yennefer, while Ciri's possessed by Voleth Meir (you know... going around killing people, lives are at stake and all that...).

But, since all of this is happening in another room, Jaskier can't quite emotionally connect with the gravity of the situation, so he's eating whatever he finds his hands on while randomly talking about nipples because Yennefer said "oriole", and his brain thought it sounded like "areola" (yeah, our brains are always making a bunch of connections that aren't relevant to the situation)!

Yet, as soon as Yennefer makes it clear that she needs him to focus, he's 100% in the moment with her, and has flipped that "adult switch" on.

We can go there, but it typically requires a strong enough emotional incentive for us to ground ourselves, and it's a state that gets draining when sustained for a too long period of time.

And given how we're at our best when highly stressed, Jaskier's probably the person you want there with you when things start really going to shit!

He's at his best when he's got no idea what he's going to do, and he has to think fast and improvise to respond to whatever is happening in real time.

Oh, and I'm about 99.9% sure that he suffers from rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), too (yeah, we're finally going there).

I discovered what RSD was about 5 years ago, how it tied into my ADHD, and that it had been something that I'd been struggling with (and often doing everything I could to hide) my whole life without really understanding it.

One thing that people with RSD tend to do, sadly, is constantly downplay our own hurt and pretend everything is fine - do our best to keep others constantly entertained and happy with us, even at our own expanse at times - so that they won't perceive us as a burden, and will continue to want to have us around.

Since a part of us is deeply aware that our emotional response to real (and/or even perceived) rejection, and the pain it causes, feels way more intense than it normally should be, we tend to be ashamed of it, and unable to fully discuss those feelings with those we love.

So, even when we do speak up for ourselves, we are afraid that we might be exaggerating, and/or making the issue much bigger than it is.

Thus, we almost regret it right away, and/or feel guilty for it afterwards, and we'll be almost desperate to let our friend "off the hook" as quickly as possible so they'll love us again.

Therefore watching Jaskier's behavior in Season 2, and the way certain characters (except Yennefer, that genuinely surprised me) responded to him, was actually physically painful for me to watch at times.

Some of the most triggering moments for someone with RSD include:

Jaskier brushing off Geralt's sincere apology - attempting to hide the depth of the emotional devastation he'd caused him - to avoid being perceived as being too much trouble and risking abandonment again.

Jaskier humorously pretending that Ciri going past him, as if he didn't exist, didn't hurt, while joking "Like father, like daughter".

Him going "Right, yeah," when Yarpen Zigrin dismisses him - having chosen to turn that constant rejection into some kind of game between them - because it's much easier to be under the illusion that they're just good-naturally teasing each other, than facing the possibly that Yarpen might genuinely consider him an unwanted nuisance he'd gladly do without, and that having excluded him from the word "friend" was 100% done on purpose!

That same little heartbreaking "Right. Yeah" after he tells Lambert "Look at us. Just one big happy family, eh?" and Lambert goes "No." While pushing him out of the way.

Jaskier is a sweet, loving, empathetic, highly sensitive bard that's on the freaking aromantic spectrum!

And aromantics can most definitely love their best friend in the whole wide world with an intensity, a depth, a sincerity, and a level of devotion that can easily match - and perhaps even surpass - any romantic couple.

Heck, I don't consider myself to be quite on the aromantic spectrum (given that I do experience primary romantic attraction towards people), but I also have a tendency to form friendships that are more emotionally (and sometimes physically, and even sexually) intimate than many of the romantic relationships I've had (except, perhaps, my current one, that is definitely on par).

I think the only reason why I've managed to remain with the same romantic partner (that I do consider the romantic love of my life) for 17 years now - and would gladly spend the rest of my life with him - is because of how deeply supportive and respectful he's been of those friendships I have.

I've built my own found family over the years that I wouldn't want to live without. And I've broken up with prior romantic partners that couldn't agree to "share me" with those other people I love (in a non-romantic way, but that doesn't make it any less tangible or real!) without regretting a single thing.

So, I wholeheartedly believe that Jaskier does love Geralt and always has loved him.

And I know that, if I'm right about this, and if Jaskier is indeed prone to RSD, then the level of emotional and physical pain that Geralt's rejection put him through would have been absolutely soul wrenching.

"I've also survived, no thanks to you," sounds just about right.

Jaskier is human, while witches and witchers are frozen in time. He's been loving Geralt and travelling alongside him and singing songs about him for about 20 years.

20 years, in a human life, is a lot of one's life to devote to someone...

Then, the moment that Geralt's romantic love interest (Yennefer) leaves him, he turns on Jaskier and basically tells him that he's brought him nothing but bad luck and misery for two decades, and that what would please him ,above everything else, would be for life to rid him of him!

Why don't you just take a sword and run Jaskier through, Geralt? I think that would have been less painful to watch!

So, I think this is one of the reasons why Season 3 has been so freaking cathartic to watch for me!

I've been literally crying my eyes out each time people made Jaskier feel loved, wanted, said thank you (even Yarpen!!! Freaking Yarpen stopped to thank him, and called him by his preferred name, Jaskier)...

And of course, there's Radovid...

I could go on and on about how good it felt to have a character that finally treats Jaskier with the same care, attention, and empathy that Jaskier offers others...

But, I think one of the things I loved the most, with Radovid, is how Jaskier himself responded to him.

He's not trying to please him, quite the contrary.

When Radovid asks "Have you come to sing us pretty songs?", Jaskier answers "No. I don't do pretty".

And then, when Radovid says that, while he appreciates the information that Jaskier has brought him, all he really wants is a song, Jaskier responds by saying that "he's not really in a singing mood."

Because yes, he's a bard. Yes, he sings about people he's encountered on his travels, and yes, he sings about people he loves...

But he doesn't want to sing "pretty songs" about Witchers, fairytales, heroics and heartbreak for the entertainment of a Prince and his court!

He's not there so that "Prince Radovid" can sing the praises of "Jaskier the Bard" 's triumphant private performance at the palace!

That's not what pleases Jaskier anymore.

I don't think Jaskier feels like he's got anything to prove performance-wise anymore and, sadly, I believe that, instead of giving him a sense of finally being seen and loved - of belonging...

At times, all this singing and performing - often for the benefit of others - has made him feel even more invisible and isolated.

And that's the beauty of him singing "Extraordinary Things", because that song is all about Jaskier.

It's vocally raw, vulnerable, filled with a fragile hope for love and for someone that makes him feel like he is seen for who he is... For someone that can help Jaskier finally believe that who he is is enough.

For someone that makes him feel like he doesn't have to try so hard to pretend to be happy, and fine, and give others what he thinks they want, so that maybe they'll love him (or keep on loving him) back.

Because it's not just Geralt...

Geralt is the one whose rejection hurt Jaskier the most, because he's the one Jaskier has loved and trusted the most...

Geralt is the one that broke something in Jaskier - his ability to feel safe in the belief that his closest friends would never abandon him.

Thanks to Geralt outburst, Jaskier is likely now being cursed with a little voice, in the back of his mind, that will continue to pop up from time to time whenever he feels safe and happy in his relationships, to make him wonder if his friends and family don't secretly wish that they could get rid of him.

Rationally, I'm sure that Jaskier understands that what happened with Geralt was caused by Geralt's own issues, and that his own behavior wasn't the cause of the rejection.

Rationally, I'm sure that he can trust in their relationship, and feel confident in the love they share.

But emotionally? Although trauma can be managed and kept at bay the vast majority of the time, there are always moments where you're bound to be more tired, stressed out, and where you don't always have the energy to push back against all of those nasty voices that wait for you to let your guards down to be heard and make you doubt.

However, besides what specifically happened with Geralt, Jaskier sadly has a very long history of having had to deal with rejections of all kinds, and been made to feel like he was never enough.

Even Valdo's obstinated refusal to learn Jaskier's name is like he's constantly trying to symbolically murder Jaskier by denying him the very right to exist, for fuck's sake!

After watching those scenes, I thought "Yup! It's really no wonder this happened:

So, while having gotten Geralt back - and obviously having built strong emotional ties with Yennefer and Ciri since the end of Season 2 - has likely tremendously helped easing some of the pain rejection has caused Jaskier throughout his life, he still has those moments where it deeply hurts him.

And I think that Geralt knows...

Jaskier might have been trying to hide it - and Geralt might not fully understand why Jaskier was hurt as deeply as he was (I doubt RSD is something that people often talk about in their world) - but he knows that a part of Jaskier still fears being rejected or abandoned again.

He's just being so soft and patient with Jaskier this season; making it immediately clear that he's not angry with Jaskier, and that their relationship is not threatened the moment that he senses his discomfort.

Or, you know, just reassuring him that the separation between them is only temporary, and that he's going to be the first person he comes looking back for as soon as he's done dealing with Rience.

If Jaskier truly is someone that tends to see people as they really are - not as they pretend to be - then it's easy to see why Jaskier did fall in love with Geralt.

That level of perceptiveness is both a gift and a curse for Jaskier, though.

Because when the person you love is set on self-destructing and unable to embrace who they really are, you might find yourself caught in the blast.

Still, when Geralt is allowing himself to be loved, and to openly love people back, he's an absolutely wonderful (platonic, alterous, romantic...) partner to have.

He's shown as someone who is able to not only apologize, but also recognize the impact that his mistakes have had on others, and take full responsibility for them.

Jaskier may have been quick to brush his apology off and pretend that all was good, but Geralt apparently knows better and, more importantly, is showing that the apology was sincere.

He's making efforts to better communicate with Jaskier and he's doing everything he can to not only alleviate some of the pain he's caused him, but to avoid triggering his insecurities.

Sadly, RSD is not something that Geralt alone can fix, especially not when Jaskier has been exposed to a number of different patterns of interpersonal rejections throughout his life.

And, while Jaskier has a tendency to pretend being fine even when he's not, his eyes almost always tell the truth.

Makes you wonder just how emotionally smart and insightful Radovid is...

Because when someone sings to you those lines...

The greatest songs are made up of unspoken words of love Of them I have had enough With you, I have enough With you, I am enough I am, I am enough

Then looks at you with those eyes...

Well, it's rather easy to understand that Jaskier has been made to feel like he wasn't good enough for those he loved, and/or still loves in the past.

And, given the success of "Burn Butcher Burn", I wouldn't put it past Radovid to have guessed that - athough they were back to being close friends - Geralt might have had something to do with the enduring vulnerability and the hurt he saw reflected there...

Thus, leading him to taking an educated guess as to what might have happened, and ask Jaskier "Does the Witcher know how lucky he is to have you?"

Somehow, with that simple question, Radovid has achieved two very important things...

He's just told Jaskier that not only does he, indeed, believe him to be enough, but he would consider himself lucky to have him...

He's just told Jaskier that whatever Geralt might have said or done to make him feel unwanted in the past, it had been wrong.

And, judging by Jaskier's answering smile, our beloved bard just got himself a fresh new (and quite princely) voice in his head to help him drown out the sound of all the other voices that are occasionally trying to convince him that he's a barely tolerable burden to those he loves.

Radovid has thrown just enough shade Geralt's way to avoid insulting their relationship; while at the same time sort of giving Jaskier the permission to mentally go "Ha! See?! There are people that want and love me, and would consider themselves lucky to have me in their lives! God, you used to be such an asshole, Geralt!" should he still need to go there to help himself manage his pain.

As a victim of Geralt's harsh and cruel words, Jaskier is entirely entitled to have moments where he needs to be a bit petty about the way Geralt used to treat him, and to call him the "family goat".

It's a very healthy way of coping with the residual hurt and anger because it puts the blame in the right place (Jaskier didn't do anything to deserve the way he was treated by Geralt nor to provoke that rejection) with just enough humor to keep that pain and resentment from growing into something that could actually be damaging to their relationship.

Radovid is an impressively good and attentive listener - at least as far as Jaskier himself is concerned.

And maybe that's one of the (many) reasons why Radovid asking to borrow Jaskier's lute, and singing the song back to him, touched me as much as it did.

It stood in sharp contrast to people singing Jaskier's songs back to him while thinking it makes THEM special for knowing a few lines! That Jaskier should be grateful to THEM for being fans, supporting his art, etc.

The entitled patrons that believe Jaskier's singing should be about what they love to hear without being really interested in what Jaskier wishes to say.

Like that obnoxious guy at the docks who started singing "The Golden One" with Jaskier, basically going "See! I'm a big fan! That totally makes us buddies now! And, as such, here are my artistic input, so that maybe you can do better next time! You know, it's good, but it's not good enough for me. Here's how you can improve!"

Basically sending Jaskier the message: "You, the artist, the message and the feelings you are trying to convey through your art don't matter. You are but invisible. Sure, you have a name, and now I'm excited at the opportunity of making my friends jealous by saying I've met you! But you're just a tool that I can now use to make myself more important and interesting to others! Your job is to stay in the shadow of your songs! Your job is to make me happy, to entertain me, to please me, to sing what I want to hear the way I wish I could hear it and to make your art all about me."

Instead, Radovid simply borrows Jaskier's lute, and humbly starts playing the song with a sense of reverence, gratitude, respect, and desire to offer Jaskier something in return for the gift he's offered him by sharing a part of himself with him through his song.

Radovid said that he had long wanted to meet Jaskier in person and presented himself as someone that is a fan of his songs, but that's because they fascinate him.

He genuinely cares about what Jaskier has to say and communicate to others (and/or about others) through them, not about what he wants to hear.

In a world where Jaskier has had to constantly fight to fit in, where he's often made to feel like he's "barely tolerated" (and it usually takes a long time for people to get to genuinely appreciate him, and openly love him back the way he loves them)...

Radovid is someone that comes along showing him that love is not supposed to be earned.

Love is a gift. You love people for who they are, not for what they can do for you.

And what Radovid heard, through those songs, was something so special, intriguing, and irresistible to him that his own response was a genuine desire to get to know the man behind the art.

He tells Jaskier that the unique way he sees the world, and his need to express it, does not make him hypersensitive or annoying - it makes him special.

I don't think the hurt in Jaskier's eyes will ever 100% go away, and that his RSD can ever be completely resolved, either...

But it doesn't need to, because it can be managed and shouldn't get in the way of one's ability to experience joy and happiness, too.

Pain is a natural and healthy part of one's life, as long as it doesn't stand in the way of everything else - as long as there's balance, and room for healing whenever it comes along.

As as long as Jaskier's found family continues to love and accept him the way he is - to let him know that he's an important part of their lives - I believe Jaskier's going to be fine. REALLY fine...

Even the moments when he's hurting are going to be fine, because that's not all there is, and he's got people loving him and offering comfort.

And maybe I'm too hopeful about this, but I think there's most definitely hope for Radovid and Jaskier to make a relationship work between them, too.

Even if it turns out to be a somewhat unconventional one, and completely different from what people might have in mind when they think of a classic "romantic couple", they can find a way to make it work for them.

My advice to them would be to leave all expectations and social conventions at the door, allow themselves to be creative in "loving outside the box", and to build something together that addresses most of their respective needs, while acknowledging and respecting the other responsibilities and emotional attachments each other have.

Oddly enough, Jaskier is one of the few people that I could imagine clearly understanding that Radovid's existence is a bit of a tragedy where he'll never be free to fully belong to himself.

In the event of his brother's untimely death (for example), should Radovid decide to give up his claim to the throne to live a less complicated life, any Redanian ruler could still try to have him assassinated "just in case" he was to change his mind, and later come challenge them.

The palace is a golden cage, and I think Jaskier would not hold it against Radovid, or grow resentful towards him, that he would only be able to offer Jaskier what he is actually free to give without risking both their lives in the process.

He might grow frustrated with all the circumstances that are creating some significant challenges to their relationship, but I could imagine Jaskier wishing to face those as partners, and avoiding to be angry at Radovid for what he can't magically change.

This is where Jaskier's ADHD brain might become an asset by helping him make unique connections, and find creative solutions to allow Jaskier to - as Batey suggested - still find the light in the darkest of places for them two.

So yeah, I definitely tend to headcanon Jaskier as having ADHD (with some significant amount of RSD), too.

#The Witcher #Jaskier #Radovid #Radskier #Queerplatonic Geraskier #Geralt of Rivia #Yennefer #Ciri #ADHD #Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria #or #RSD #My posts #My stuff #My thoughts #Personal

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sysmedsaresexist · 7 months

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Can I add something anonymously about that post where you responded to someone saying they don't have a CDD because they feel like their systemhood is "the only condition [they] have NOT disabling [them]"? And this isn't like at the OP of that but just to bring this thought to people's attention, because I said practically the same thing when I got my DID assessment results.

Depending on what those other conditions are, if you haven't been assessed by someone with adequate experience in dissociative disorders (and maybe OP has, but that's why I say this isn't at OP specifically), it's hard to know that those conditions aren't caused or worsened by system-related stuff. There are a lot of ways that DID/OSDD can cause functional impairment that isn't directly and clearly related to switching or time loss.

I used to think my ADHD is much worse than it actually is, because I thought THAT was the reason for "losing track of time" so much, being so forgetful, suddenly feeling like I couldn't do something I normally can, "spacing out" all the time, suddenly saying things I hadn't realized I was about to say, etc. My ADHD contributes to those things of course, but it isn't the sole cause. That's functional impairment from DID, too.

People with DID/OSDD often can also meet criteria for PTSD (always, I think?), depression (almost always, afaik), anxiety, and oftentimes a variety of other disorders -- and whether a therapist diagnoses those things alongside DID/OSDD or chooses not to diagnose them because the symptoms are "better explained by" being considered part of DID/OSDD, there are a lot of ways those symptoms will interact with DID/OSDD, if someone has that. From symptom holders and emotion holders as an obvious example, to just having things affecting different alters differently. Having passive influence from a suicidal alter that gives you those thoughts is functional impairment. Nightmares disrupting your sleep on a regular basis is functional impairment.

I know it's also common for us to have somatic symptoms, too, especially headaches and migraines. Having to miss work because of migraines is functional impairment.

And it can also be less obvious things like related to work, school, socializing, or even a lot of emotional distress. Avoiding friends when certain alters are fronting because they feel uncomfortable having to pretend to be the host is functional impairment. Having a panic attack about going to work because you're expected to be competent in something but an alter is fronting who isn't as familiar with it is functional impairment. Consistently thinking you're worthless because you can't get a consistent sense of who you are as a person is functional impairment.

Sorry for the rambling, I'm just really passionate about this. I don't view my alters themselves as a "problem" or "impairment" at all -- they're the ones who help me get through the day despite all the stuff we deal with, so I'm really grateful for them actually -- but we developed in the way we did specifically because of DID, and our DID does impact us a lot, just... not in the ways people might expect? And if people can relate to that, I want those people to get the help they need, not just say "oh, but the problems aren't caused by my system."

^^^

I absolutely relate

I love this, thank you

#pro syscourse conversation #did #osdd #actually did #actually osdd #actually traumagenic #actually dissociative #actually multiple

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flame-cat · 1 year

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some facts about Kim Kitsuragi

- one cigarette a day. there's no individual on this earth who would keep to a ritual like that that takes so much self control except the type of person who will do everything by their internal schedule until the day they die. (source: i drink one decaf coffee every morning. i have heart issues- even decaf is probably more than i should have. so I limit myself to just one, in the morning, even if its not very good, because it's part of my routine)

- the driving gloves. bad textures begone (source: i wear gloves a lot too for this very reason)

- the jacket (source: not one autistic person alive doesn't have an article of clothing or accessory they wear every single day because its comforting to have that stability and choosing new outfits is stress you don't need every day)

- the way he deals with emotions. its mostly compartmentalization, with very little outward expression, and even if he's sympathetic its generally in a distant and factual way that doesn't rely on pathos (source: autistic people often have difficulty even telling what emotions they're having at any given time, so telling how someone else is feeling is even harder. usually we default to a benefit of the doubt, and pinpoint factual information as comfort)

- the notebook (source: autism often manifests as a one-track mind. its difficult to remember small details of events, or events at all, if we're thinking about something else at the time. the notebook serves as both a grounding tool to help him focus on the task at hand and a way to reference details he normally wouldn't recollect, as well as helping with his aphantasia)

- "let's focus on the case, detective." (source: again, autistic people tend to have a one track mind. I often find myself "conversation stacking," which is when you remember old topics of conversation and bring them back around in order to finish discussing them. autistic people do this because our thoughts can be easily overwhelmed by wildly shifting circumstances, so we try to maintain that focus. kim is always focused in the case because if he thinks about something else (and switching focus is hard) he knows it'll be hard to get himself back on track. hence also why you can lead him on these wild tangents- once he's in, he's in, and he will see it to the end until you can circle back, because nothing is more irritating to an autistic person than leaving something unfinished. I often drink too much because I hate leaving my glass still partway full)

- special interest in MCs (source: look at this torque dork and tell me that isn't a special interest)

- the Kimball Incident (source: you know he hyperfocused on that one case for a whole 9 months. there's no way anyone but an autistic person could manage to focus and train so hard on a single new skill for an undercover mission. he hates it now also because sometimes when you hyperfocus you end up burnt out on the interest when it finally fades. I hate looking at old fandom stuff cause I immersed myself so hard in it for months at a time)

- Harry. him and Kim are adhd/autism solidarity (source: nothing gets me out of my comfort zone like an adhd person. I love being around them because I can let them lead me around without having to focus too hard on all the stuff they're able to focus on at once. also, every adhd/autism relationship has that subtle push/pull of one person getting side tracked and the other letting them go on the tangent but then circling back around. its kind of magic)

- look at the way he stands. look at his stance (source: I also stand like that)

now with this evidence before the jury i present a theory- that kims decision to transfer to the 41st was actually the most insane declaration of love he could've possibly done. he is willing to uproot his entire years-long comfort and stability because one guy showed him something different. we don't do this lightly. if an autistic person changes their schedule for you in any capacity, they're basically proposing to you. mans got it down BAD

#in the life #disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #actually autistic #I WILL SPREAD MY AUTISTIC KIM PROPAGANDA UNTIL I DIE #hes one of us my liege

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vulturesrottencorpse · 25 days

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Is this part of my autism or am I just an asshole

ok so basically, there's this really nice girl in my class, she keeps trying to talk me me (guess she wants to be my friend) but I don't like her. I go to a school that isn't mainstream so we get a lot of people with autism, ADHD, ect. You'd think this would make this easier to make friends, right? No. For some reason I'm a very picky person with who I talk to, I need someone who's smarter than me or gets my humour or something. This girl, she just talks, and talks and doesn't get the hint when I try to politely shoo her away. I'll be drawing, she will comment on it and if I respond even with a thanks, she takes it as an invitation to pull her chair over and sit and draw with me. Constantly asking "should I do this?" "How do I draw this part" " what do you think" every 2 minutes. It annoys me because 1, I don't want to be rude, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so I can't just tell her to go away, and 2 , I HATE socialising, even with my friends I find talking hard (irl, at least)

Getting too long but, is this normal? Am I a bad person for not liking this person who wants to be my friend, who's really nice and shares all my interests? Aren't you supposed to like people who are just like you? We are almost exactly the same yet I can't stand her. Maybe this is what it's like for other people who talk to me. I don't know.

Edit: a part I forgot to mention was that she has anger issues and gets annoyed pretty easily. When she's mad she just starts yelling and stuff, if I accidentally offend her by telling her I don't want to be her friend I'd be the centre of attention as the person she'd yelling at, which would probably give me a panic attack.

Since the start of this year I've become a very VERY shy person. If you were to ask anyone in my class or any teachers (from my class only) about me theyed probably shrug and say "who?" Or, "oh. The one that draws all the time" which is super odd because basically my whole life I've been bullied and to combat that I became a very loud and outspoken perdon. I still had social anxiety but with my friends I was pretty much obnoxiously confident. I've gone from being told to "shut up!" And "stop talking to loud" to "speak up" and "talk a bit louder nobody can hear you." So the switch is pretty sudden, and attention, ANY attention, a teacher saying hi to me in class, someone walking past and even glancing at me, sets me into panic.

So I can't tell this girl to simply go away, even if I wasn't scared of being mean.

Also, rereading this post I'd like to clarify that I asked if this was autism because of my extremely low social battery, people pleasing behaviour, ect. And I asked if im an asshole because you're SUPPOSED to get along with people who are the same as you. With people who have similar interests or struggles but I HATE being around those people. I hate being around people who remind me of myself. My whole life I've been friends with the confident, loud and unapologetic people. But the more I think, the more my brain tells me "you just don't like them because they have autism, and that annoys you" (IM LITERALLY AUTISTIC)

This is quickly turning into a long ramble session rather than an explanation. So, feel free to just ignore this wall of text lmao.

#autistic things #autism #actually autistic #pls help #I don't wanna be a bad person #But I can only handle so much #Socialising actually physically hurts #What to you mean I have to talk to people

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stardustedknuckles · 2 years

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I think one thing that really gets me about Brennan, in a good way, is that the way he speaks is the way I speak when I'm not masking. It's hard to listen to him sometimes because he'll say something in such a specific way and my whole body will cringe a little because OMG we learned forever ago you can't talk like that, the other kids will pounce immediately. He's a little too intense. A little too loud. A little slower to switch between modes and mindsets. He uses rich language in a setting we've come to expect a certain script for, the classic DM blend of conversational and directive. Brennan is just a little different and he's different in a way I recognize. And seeing the cast welcome him so completely, him being in the driver's seat even, high intensity and all... It's nice. I don't know if he's autistic/adhd or not, but I am. And it took me a few minutes to figure out the push-pull of my interest versus my flinch, but the fact is that if I can dig past my years of learning to hide my enthusiasm and flair to better match the speaking tone of people around me, one day I might also craft a story with my voice that has people spellbound like that. Part of my recollection that what he does is a skill I can learn has to do with listening to him and hearing my own old voice.

The man regularly speaks up during games and conversation with fun trivia and that intense stare and he's never viewed as disruptive or in bad faith just for knowing things and sharing them. I've forgotten what that's like, to not bite those comments back before they come out - let alone have them taken in stride or even enjoyed. I've forgotten the joy of being the kid in class who would have one hundred percent raised their hand and asked how invisibility would work in theory if retinas and pupils were also transparent.

Idk it was just unexpectedly really neat to feel something click watching him. I've seen him as a player but not as a DM outside of gifs.

#Brennan and I have a creachur in common I think #I look at him and see me #Or who I once was - someone who threw themself into things they loved without shame #Exu calamity #brennan lee mulligan

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officialgleamstar · 9 months

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also... penny for ur jodie thoughts ?

turns on immigrant song and sets it to loop. of course ^-^ I WAS GONNA DO A FRESH POST but i barely started typing it so i will answer on here instead! shout-out to @nutria--oscura as well because they also asked me for my jodie thoughts on my initial post

im gonna do a tl;dr as well as the full ramble, so! tl;dr first

canonically (in his fabricated human memories, not reality), jodie's mom, dee, was a singer and jodie didn't see her growing up because of this. i think the parallels to glenn here are obvious: glenn's dad, bill, was always on the road due to being a roadie/session musician, and dee was always on the road due to being a rock singer. the difference between them is that glenn spent consistent time with bill whenever bill wasn't busy, while jodie didn't (presumably he lived at home with his dad, but this isn't really clarified on), and i think this explains why they have such different adult lives despite their similar upbringings. glenn grew up involved in the rock scene, while jodie saw it more as something he could never be included in. however, once she appears in the podcast, dee is shown to be an extremely loving mother who has done everything in her power to find her son again, which is... really sweet, mostly, i love dee, but also its really sad because jodie has all these issues not from his actual life, but because he was used as some punishment against glenn for being a bad dad LMAO

now the full ramble with screenshots from the transcript and more headcanons/interpretations of how it affected him LOL

firstly, the part of the podcast that explains jodie's human memories, from SWAP (SWitched Ass Papas)

for simplicity's sake, for now, i'm gonna talk as if this is all true. we are taking jodie's human memories at face value.

jodie grew up without his mom in his life at all. i think "you never met her" was an exaggeration, based on the line "you don't have too many memories of them from your childhood", but she still is clearly not someone jodie spent much time with. her presence was always there, there were people in his life keeping him updated about her, he knew what she looked like, etc, but he didn't really know her. even when he did see her, jodie's memory is bad, he likely doesn't fully know what he experienced first-hand and what he was just told. it's a bit of ADHD projection, but i know that due to my memory problems, i've often had issues with being unsure what from my childhood was real and what was just something i made up. i think it's fair to say that jodie has similar issues based on these lines. he doesn't know his mom, she isn't a real person to him really, she's just this idea of a "cool mom" that was drilled into his head as a kid.

as i said, this parallels glenn's backstory in an interesting way. both bill and dee weren't home, but glenn still saw bill regularly. not a lot, but he always knew he would see bill again and generally considered him a positive influence in his upbringing (now, glenn's conflicting feelings about bill is a whole OTHER post i could write and have written before but-). okay tbh i was gonna get more in depth about bill and glenn's relationship but then i was rereading episode 29's transcript and started thinking too much and couldn't find any words, so we're just sticking with this screenshot from glenn close's damages:

THE POINT I WAS MAKING BEFORE I SPACED OUT FOR 20 MINUTES THINKING ABOUT MY BABY GIRL BILL CLOSE. glenn got to spend time with his father and was often looped into his nonsense, which led glenn to being far more involved in the rock and roll scene. in contrast, jodie barely ever saw his mother, and its reasonable to extrapolate that that is why he went so far in the opposite direction as glenn. he rejected this world that his mom was a part of because if his mom didn't have any time for him, then that entire scene as a wider space didn't have any time for him either. jodie is shown to be a character that does not get over things: his deep yearning for morgan, his long-standing anger towards glenn, he doesn't know how to move past things that upset him. i think it's reasonable to assume his feelings towards his mom could fall into this group of long-held feelings. he is completely the type to throw himself into something rigid and consistent and soulless such as the police force to separate himself from his mom, who he's been told is a rock and roll singer who's cool and edgy.

and i think the reason why this makes me so sad is that it's completely... unnecessary might be the best word, because dee loves him.

dee absolutely adores jodie, she misses him, she did everything in her power to get him back to her. but as i said, jodie is a character that doesn't let things go. despite the way he says that he's a demon now, as if that eradicates his very human feelings, it's obvious that he never really got past his fabricated life - again, his desperate attachment to morgan is evidence of this. no matter how much his mom loves him, jodie is probably always going to have a part of him that looks at her as the human woman who abandoned him as a human child. and she didn't, she didn't at all, and isn't that just devastating?

i feel like there's so much more i could say, but it's already been an hour and a half since you sent this ask LMAO i just think, behind his pathetic exterior, jodie is an absolutely fascinating character and people often undervalue how devastating the back half of season one was for him. jodie is never going to be like, a good guy. i don't want to make people sympathize with him or anything, i get it, he's not a likeable person and i don't want him to be ♡♡ i love my bitchy pathetic demon king of hell ♡♡ but there's a lot more depth to him than people tend to sit down and think about

anyways do you guys think, pre-demon reveal in the jodie foster timeline, jodie just assumed the omega daddies didn't recruit his mom because they were misogynists

#jodie foster dndads #dndads #cookies over yonder #ask #sorry that this took over an hour to answer i was just having a lot of thoughts #can you guys imagine if i got the mental fortitude to update the dndads wiki #it would be This information may only appeal to a specific audience. tags all over the place

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desceros · 5 months

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How do you feel so motivated to write all the time? I have a fic of my own that I’ve been working on for a few months and have been posting but I’ve lost all the momentum I once had for it and only have 3 chapters left that I need to write. Whenever I sit down to write it I can never seem to put more than a few words down before I either work on something newer or just give up for the day. Sorry for the small vent I’m just trying to find ways to get back to it 💜💜💜💜

oh, that's easy—i don't! i have really, really bad adhd. motivation isn't something i can count on for, uh, literally anything lmao. which is bad for, like, eating and sleeping with any sense of regularity, but good in terms of me having learned how to do stuff i wanna do without motivation!

the first thing is consistency. i try really really hard to write every day, even if it's only a little. i have a folder in my icloud for daily exercises, and that's where i write little 500-1000 word snippets if i don't have a proper fic or novel that i'm working on. it's just a single scenario, single blip kind of thing. This has made it so that my brain expects me to write, every day, even when i'm not particularly motivated by one plot or another. though don't beat yourself up if you don't write in a day. that's pretty hard for me, but it's very important!

second, kind of part of the first, is that i have a time set aside every day to write. it's actually first thing in the morning when i wake up, because i'm super excited to do it and it gets me out of bed like nothing else!! i don't check my phone, i don't think about work, none of that. i just roll out of bed and sit down at my computer and start writing. because i have a specific time for it, it's very easy for me to go oh. well this is my writing time. the time for writing. i shall go and write now.

third is to have lots of different things that you're very excited about. i'll usually have three or four ideas bouncing around in my head at one time, because it makes me think 'oh i need to finish x so i can get to y', just in case x ever gets too boring for me. but also—don't be afraid to switch projects! if something isn't meshing, don't force it. you'll grow to resent it, and yourself for not being able to create, and that negativity isn't conducive to a fun time. i like to have at least two things that i'm actively working on that are very different in tone. this way, i can bounce back and forth as needed if something isn't vibing one day for whatever reason.

fourth is to kinda... trick yourself a little. if i'm working on a long project and i need to stop for anything longer than getting another cup of coffee, i stop in the middle of a scene—but, very specifically, a scene in which i know what the next step is going to be. sometimes, i'll even go down a line and put what the next action is, if it's really gonna be a while. that way, the next time i come back to it, i reread the scene, and by the time i get to the place where i'm supposed to start writing again, the flow is there. it's much easier to pick up in media res vs having to start a new section.

so yeah. motivation is fake, don't ever trust it, come up with a system that makes it so you never have to count on it ever again!

#ask tag #writing tag #hope this helps!!!!#as proof: i am starving hungry and i sat down to write this instead of getting food. HELP

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elisedonut · 9 months

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I'm fond of Percy but he hasn't drawn me in like some other Weasleys-- what are some top adjectives that you would use to describe him? What's your draw to him as a character? So nice to meet you!! 💖

Hello!! Nice to meet you!❤❤

now word of warning i'm not really that great at character like meta and stuff so my first thought was legit just

uhhh he babie????

but seriously obviously there are the typical ones that most people think about like intelligent and bossy so lets not talk about those some big ones i associate with him and find very interesting about him are like

Mother-hen, Perfectionist child turned Anxiety ridden adult, Eldest daughter syndrome personified, Slut, Autistic-coded, attention whore, Drama queen, Morally grey

Here's also a post that I heavily agree with that explains some of his characteristics way better then I ever could

as for me being drawn to him that's difficult to answer I got attached to him from reading Draco/George fics which lead to Draco/Percy fics because Draco would keep like mentioning that out of all the other siblings he got along best with Percy to my ADHD brain like flipping a switch and saying that I love him and hyperfixating on him and trying to read every Percy centric fic I could find and now I'm here over a year later

I do find him very relatable and quite adorable and find the way the narrative and parts of the fandom treat him terrible but like a tangible thing to point at and be like

that

that's why i love him is a bit more difficult

but ill try

He's smart,

He's bossy,

He has anxiety,

He loves his family,

He has a complicated relationship with said family,

He tries to take care of the people he cares about,

He needs his mom and dad to really see him and not just what he can do for them or his accomplishments even if he doesn't realize it

He would have sex with all the quidditch captains of his 7th year if given the opportunity,

He was sending his girlfriend love letters all summer

He cares about rules and structure but would break them in a heartbeat if he found it necessary

He's lonely

He was a good Prefect/Headboy with what he was given to work with

He's constantly trying his best but with the world normally throwing that in his face

He had a crush on his boss,

He's so used to his family not respecting him that he typically brushes it off

He needs therapy

He ran a whole department practically by himself

He survived being in the ministry when it was swarming with death eaters and wasn't murdered

He had to watch as his last three school years descended into more and more chaos and still was expected to respect and listen to the man in charge

He passed 12 newts

He liked divination

His old pet rat that he found turned out to be a person and we don't even know if he was ever told

so um

in conclusion uhh he my babie??

#percy weasley #anti dumbledore #kinda just in case #Asks #So yeah that's like the gist of it I'm sorry that this probably didn't make much sense

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changingplumbob · 20 days

Text

Pancake Household: Chapter 9, Part 1

Time to check in with the Pancakes stack!

Nicknames: Bob = Sleek, Eliza = Jumble

Brindleton Bay in autumn, the best world/season combo or so I’ve been told. We start with Ginger chasing her tail and Bob and Eliza waking up.

Eliza: You ready for tonight?

Bob: Tonight?

Eliza: The dinner party Sleek

Bob: I remember we were having one I just didn’t remember it was tonight. Let me just call in work

Eliza: I could always cook

She looks at him but can only keep her face composed for a few seconds before laughing at her own joke.

Bob: *laughs* Let’s not burn the house down Jumble

Since we’ve last visited the youngest Pancake, Fergus, has been diagnosed with ADHD. He wants to see if he can manage without medication for the moment which makes Eliza a little nervous now and then.

Fergus: Morning dad, morning mother. Is Emi still coming for dinner

Eliza: Her and her parents, as well as Onyx’s friend Carson and his parents

Fergus: Just remember you have to call her Artemisia because you’re normal, I get to call her Emi because I’m her friend

Eliza: *quietly* Thank the watcher our eldest picked a simple name

Bob: You’re telling me

Bob stands and pulls Eliza up to kiss her on the cheek. He’s hoping they’ll have a daughter soon.

Onyx: Good morning everyone. Dad, mother, I couldn’t help but notice we still have a horse shaped hole in our lawn

Fergus: Did you dig up the yard?

Onyx: It’s an expression *switches to talking to Eliza* because I’m an A student mother

Eliza: Must be the only grade A student in detention

Onyx: It was one detention! Everyone gets at least one detention

Eliza: I didn’t

Bob: It’s not the detention that’s a problem. Your mother and I are concerned about how you’d manage taking care of a horse on top of your school and cheerleading responsibilities

Onyx: I’d fit it in. Please mother, I’m sad I don’t have a horse

Eliza: How about a test then

Onyx: A test?

Eliza: You take over walking Ginger for a while and if you can manage that we can talk about a horse again

Onyx: Deal. My dog walking skills will be legendary

The table bursts into laughter at this response.

Eliza: Oh I do love your confidence honey

Bob: Of course we’re lucky we can afford Ginger

Eliza: Bob…

Bob: For a while there my books weren’t doing so good

Onyx: They weren’t?

Bob: The first critic, what did he say Jumble?

Eliza: *sternly* Bob

Bob: That it was expensive toilet paper

Onyx: Oh my watcher! That’s awful! Is that why we had to move? Do we owe the mob money? Will they kill us in our sleep

Bob: What?

Clearly surprised that this new has upset Onyx, Bob turns to his wife to signal for help. Good thing she’s already prepared.

Eliza: It was a long time ago and we got through it. We may not be rolling in simoleons like some other families but we’re certainly in no danger of losing Ginger or the house

Bob: You’ll see Onyx, we’ll be… good?

Eliza: Thank you Bob, that was very convincing

Bob: *laughs* Thank the watcher charisma levels can’t go backwards

Onyx: I just have to do my homework mother then I’ll walk Ginger, you’ll see, I’ll have loads of time

Bob and Eliza watch their kids hurry off to get their homework out the way, Eliza feeling proud, Bob wondering if he should have added more onions to the breakfast quiche.

Settling onto the workout machine Bob thinks it’s a good time to do a short livestream, he still can’t believe he has fans, but he’ll have to get more for promotion.

Bob: Hey viewers. I’m having a dinner party tonight and I’m getting ready by exercising early! Remember to do your warmup stretches and add the weight you lift gradually. So my kid is 14 and I’m wondering… is it safe to let them in my kitchen? Let’s do a poll!

Inside in their room Onyx is oblivious to their responsibility being debated online, focusing instead on finishing their homework correctly. It would probably be easier if Eliza hadn’t picked now to vacuum but with visitors coming she will not be accepting dust bunnies today!

After completing his own homework assignment Fergus sets about doing the laundry. He checks all the pockets and gets it in the machine. Just as he sets it to go Onyx comes out for their cheer practice.

Onyx: Did you just do the washing

Fergus: It’s only right, we have guests coming and mother can’t do all the chores

Onyx: Suppose

Fergus: Plus if I do it you’ll have time to walk Ginger

Onyx: That’s nice of you, thanks-

Their words are interrupted by Fergus having chosen the porch as the best place to practice dramatics! Onyx shrugs and carries on their own practice, may as well practice not being distracted by random noises.

Livestream finished Bob heads inside to start prep for the dinner party. It’s here he realises he has a fridge full of batter but no dough, oops.

Bob: Hey, Jumble?

Eliza: Library! Doing chess!

Bob: Oh. Turns out I have to wait some time for the dough to mix together. I was wondering if I could persuade you to join me in bed for our own mixing

Eliza: *smiles* ask me nicely

Of course they do end up in bed and spend far longer mixing together than is required for the dough.

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#sims 4 #the sims #the sims 4 #simblr #my sims #ChangingPlumbobStorytime #R0904 #ElizaPancakes #BobPancakes #OnyxPancake #FergusPancakes

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