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punkshort · 4 months

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somewhere to run | 2. book club

Pairing: sheriff!Joel x f!reader

Chapter Summary: An incident at the diner causes you to get shaken up, and Joel is there to help.

Chapter Warnings: language, slow burn, mutual pining, PTSD type symptoms, flirting, jealousy, attempted robbery, reader gets mildly injured

WC: 6K

Series Masterlist

"So you see why it's so important you keep on top of your oil changes, yeah?" Mr. Connor finished saying as you set down his plate of waffles and sausage. You nodded enthusiastically while you filled up his coffee.

"I was never really any good at car stuff," you admitted, but he shook his head.

"If you take care of it, that car'll last you five more years and save you boatloads of money," he told you, wagging his finger. "You come by my shop any time and I'll take a look at that beater you're drivin', won't rip you off, either."

You laughed as you heard the bells above the door ring and Maria greet the next customer.

"I'll hold you to it," you said with a wink before turning to put the coffee back on the burner.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the familiar outline of a man settle into Joel's usual seat at the counter, and you felt the butterflies stir up in your stomach. You glanced up to make sure there wasn't any food getting cold in the window before pulling out your notepad and walking over. As you approached, you mentally braced yourself for the onslaught of his cologne, but as you got closer, you couldn't smell it. In fact, all you could smell was soap and maybe a faint hint of oil from his gun.

When you paused in front of him, the realization dawning on you, he glanced up from the menu with a smirk. A slow smile spread across your face when you looked him in the eye.

"Better?" was all he said, and you couldn't stop the giggle from escaping your lips.

"You didn't have to do that for me," you said, suddenly feeling bashful and looking down at your blank notepad.

"I know, but I wanted to," he said, leaning back and closing the menu. He didn't even know why he looked at it anymore, he knew it by heart already. "Thought maybe it'd make you stick around long enough for me to get to know you better."

You definitely felt your cheeks flare at that comment, and it must have been visible because Joel just grinned, clearly very pleased with himself.

"Where are you from?" he asked, determined to try to make some more progress with you today.

"Pennsylvania," you said, finally looking back up at him with a smile as you tapped your pen on the pad.

"Northerner," he said with feigned disgust. "And what brought you all the way to Texas?"

"The incredible job opportunity, isn't it obvious?" you said, and he laughed. A real laugh, one you hadn't heard before, and it did something to you. Uh oh.

"You're funny," Joel said, almost as if he were saying it to himself. You grinned and decided to steer the conversation in a different direction: away from you.

"What about you? Have you lived here your whole life?"

"Born and raised," Joel said with a nod. "Our pop used to be the town sheriff, before he passed 'bout ten years back or so."

"So, you followed in your father's footsteps?" you asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Suppose I did," he told you, leaning forward. "But can I tell you a secret?"

You hummed and leaned forward as well, trying to bite back your smirk.

"Kinda wishin' now I was the one who bought this place instead of my brother," he said quietly and so close to your ear that it sent a shiver down your spine.

Still leaning in, you dropped your voice to match his and said "then who would stop those teenagers from drawing phallic images on street signs?"

He laughed again, the same deep, throaty laugh as before, and you felt your stomach clench at the sound.

"You heard that, huh?" he asked, smiling and leaning back. You shrugged.

"Lee isn't as quiet as he thinks," you told him. You wanted to say you had to learn early on to eavesdrop, that listening and anticipating danger became second nature to you, but you caught yourself.

"Howdy, brother," you heard Tommy's voice boom from somewhere behind you. You took the opportunity to sneak away and check on your other customers while they talked, but you made sure to set Joel up with coffee before heading towards the other end of the counter, his eyes trailing after you and staring a moment too long on your bare legs.

"You givin' her the business?" Tommy asked, nodding in your direction, and Joel nearly choked on his coffee. Tommy raised his eyebrows.

"She's, uh... she's a nice girl," Joel finally managed to get out after wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"He's got the hots for her," Betty whispered to Tommy as she ambled by. Joel cleared his throat loudly and gave her a stern look, but she just laughed and kept walking.

"Oh, Joel, I'm beggin' you, don't screw this up for me. She's a real good waitress, I don't wanna lose her - "

"Would you keep it down?" Joel whispered, his eyes darting around to make sure you weren't within earshot. "I ain't gonna screw anythin' up for anyone, don't worry. She's just... nice."

"'Nice'," Tommy repeated, clearly not buying it. He was about to say more, but Joel straightened up in his seat and averted his gaze, trying to wordlessly warn him you were heading over.

"Sorry to interrupt. Are you ready, Joel?" you asked him, your pen and paper in hand. He looked up at you and it was hard to fight the goofy look on his face now that you didn't regard him with such disdain.

"Yeah, sure. Let's put this guy to work, huh?" Joel said, pointing to Tommy, and you giggled. Behind you, Tommy rolled his eyes. Nice.

Joel told himself he was only allowed to think about you on his walk back to the station after lunch. You had told Betty you weren't interested in dating anybody at the moment, but he could wait. He wondered if he could change your mind, if he could make you come around to the idea of being with him, or at least give him a chance. You definitely seemed much warmer towards him today. He must have been wrong yesterday, you really must be sensitive to smells if all it took was for him to stop using that obnoxious cologne Sarah got him that he felt too guilty to throw away.

"Hey boss, how was lunch?" asked Bobby, the town's deputy and Joel's right hand man.

"Good. Anythin' goin' on here?" Joel asked, shrugging off his blazer and hanging it on the coat rack outside his office.

"Not much. I was 'bout to let Ollie outta the drunk tank. His wife was callin', askin' after him," Bobby said before rising to his feet with a groan. Although the man was ten years younger than Joel, his joints seemed to be ten years older.

Joel glanced at the time on his watch with a nod.

"Yeah, go ahead. Third time this month, though. Next time it happens, I'm keepin' him longer."

"Alrighty," Bobby said over his shoulder as he pulled the keys from his pocket and headed back towards lockup.

Joel sighed and began flipping through the papers littering his desk before giving up and leaning back in his chair to stare out the front window, watching people as they walked past. Before he could stop himself, his mind had already wandered back to thoughts of you, and it took him five whole minutes and Ollie's hungover ramblings to snap him out of it.

Maybe Sarah would want to get pizza for dinner.

It was nearly seven at night as you made your way back home from work, your feet aching and your head throbbing. At the very least, it was a cool, summer night. The breeze was enjoyable and the sun was still peeking out just enough to keep your skin pleasantly warm. All you could think about was getting home and running a bath to soak your sore muscles. It had been a long time since you held a job, let alone a job that kept you as active as this one.

Patrick didn't like the idea of you working. When he first suggested you quit your job and stay at home, you thought it was sweet. You took it to mean he wanted to provide for you so you could relax and be a homemaker, maybe even a mom one day. But after a few months, you quickly realized he just didn't want you around other people, or more specifically, other men. Without even knowing it, you trapped yourself at home without a lifeline, and it was exactly what he wanted.

Even though you were sore now, you felt good. You were taking care of yourself. Providing for yourself. And you never felt more proud.

You were juggling your keys, trying to find the right one that opened the door to the sidewalk, when you heard a familiar voice exit the pizza place.

"Well, look who it is," you heard Joel say, and you let the keys dangle at your side as you turned around with a smile.

"Evening, Joel," you replied, your eyes quickly drifting down his body. It was the first time you had seen him in casual clothes. Every other time you ran into him, he was in his work uniform, which usually consisted of some type of suit. But tonight, he was wearing dark blue jeans and a beige button up shirt with short sleeves. As he strolled over to you, balancing a pizza box in his hand, your eyes were immediately drawn to the way the muscles in his arms strained against the fabric of the shirt, making your mouth go dry.

"Tommy finally let you leave, huh?" he joked, and you had to remind yourself to laugh, your mind still too fixated on the way he looked in that shirt.

"Dad?" you heard a girl's voice call behind him, and you both turned your attention towards the voice. You remembered your brief interaction at the pharmacy and realized that she must be Sarah. Her eyes flickered from you to Joel, then back to you, clearly waiting for Joel to introduce you, but he seemed frozen in place. So, you stretched out your arm and introduced yourself with a smile, which she reciprocated.

"You look familiar," she said, tilting her head to the side the same way her dad did.

"I think I saw you at the pharmacy a couple days ago," you reminded her, and she snapped her fingers.

"That's what it is," she said, giving you another smile. "Are you working for Uncle Tommy?" she asked, looking at Joel again, who was still standing there, unmoving, watching the two of you interact. She frowned slightly at him, picking up on his strange reaction as well, before giving you her attention again.

"Yeah, at the diner. He hired me earlier this week, brand new," you told her, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet. Joel's silence was deafening at this point and starting to make you uncomfortable, so you held up your keys and pointed to the door.

"I won't keep you guys. It was great to meet you, Sarah," you said with a wave, but before you could turn towards the door, she stopped you.

"Why don't you join us?" she asked, shooting Joel a mischievous look as if she finally realized the reason for his behavior.

"Oh, no, that's so nice of you, but I'm just gonna jump in the bath and go to bed, it's been a long day," you replied. Joel's body stiffened next to you when you announced your plans.

Finally, he managed to clear his throat and speak.

"We'd love to have you join us, we were just gonna grab a picnic table out back," he said, and you swore his cheeks looked a little pinker than usual.

You were struggling to find another polite way to turn down their offer when he added "c'mon, why don't you lemme serve you for a change?"

Sarah smiled as she watched the two of you. She couldn't wait to tease her dad about it in the car later.

"Alright," you said slowly, lowering your keys once again. Joel's face broke out in a huge grin before leading you and Sarah down the short alley to the small courtyard behind the building, where there were a few picnic tables and string lights draped overhead.

"Are you sure I'm not intruding?" you asked again, and they both vehemently shook their heads.

"No way," Sarah said, licking the sauce off her fingers after she picked up her piece from the box. "It's nice to have another girl around for a change."

"Sarah," Joel said warningly under his breath.

"I just mean it's nice to hear about something else other than work and football," she said to him with a grin, and he rolled his eyes, choosing to sit on your side of the table instead of hers.

"So, you live above the pizza place? That seems pretty cool. Pizza whenever you want," she said, covering her mouth as she spoke. You swallowed your food before responding.

"Yeah, it is pretty convenient. And they actually have good pizza," you said. "I think I'm finally getting used to the smell."

Joel's knee accidentally knock against yours under the table and you had to fight the urge to jump away, the contact startling you.

Sarah asked the same questions everyone in this small town inevitably asked you when you first met: where are you from and why are you here? The first question was easy, the second one always gave you pause. It wasn't until Sarah asked that Joel suddenly realized you never really answered him when he asked the same question earlier that day, so he stopped chewing to pay attention.

"Just looking for a change," you said with a shrug, taking another bite of pizza. Sarah considered your answer for a moment before following up.

"Have you ever been here before?"

"Nope."

"So you just got in your car and ... drove?"

"Kind of," you said with a nervous laugh. Joel frowned slightly.

"That's so cool," Sarah said, a smile stretching across her face. "Dad, doesn't that sound so cool?"

"Yeah," he said with a nod, finally joining the conversation. "Do you got family down south or anythin'?"

"Uh, no," you said, shaking your head. "Just always heard it was nice down here so I thought I would see for myself."

"You think you're here for good, then?" he asked, his voice a little more hopeful than he wanted to come across.

"That's the plan," you said to him with a smile.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Sarah asked out of the blue, and your eyes darted back to her in surprise.

"No," you replied slowly, heat creeping up your neck and guilt dancing in the back of your head while Joel hid his grin behind his pizza. "Do you?" you deflected, raising your eyebrows at her with a smirk, and she giggled, shaking her head.

"You better not," Joel said, and the two of you laughed.

Over the rest of the hour, you listened to Joel and Sarah crack jokes and argue over what movie they would end up watching later that night and you felt the smile slowly begin to slip from your face as you came to the sobering realization that the type of dynamic they had, one that was so obviously built on love and trust, was something you never truly experienced before. It wasn't just something you saw in the movies or read in books. People in the real world actually got to experience it, and you couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Why not you? What did you ever do to receive the type of life you got?

After parting ways and thanking them over and over for dinner, you finally headed upstairs and collapsed on your small sofa. You untucked your work shirt and unzipped your skirt, but that was as far as you got, exhaustion winning the fight.

You closed your eyes and wished you had the energy to get up and run a bath, but you just couldn't bring yourself to do it yet. Instead, you let your mind wander, imagining a life where you could call out to someone who cared for you in the other room and ask them to run the water. Maybe they would surprise you and light a few candles and mix in some soothing bubble bath. You knew that would never happen. You could never let yourself be honest enough with anybody to allow them into your life, but it didn't stop you from wishing for it, anyway. And right before you drifted off to sleep, you imagined that certain somebody had dark brown eyes and soft curls on the top of his head that you were itching to run your fingers through.

As hard as you tried to keep to yourself, the town was very small, and eventually you found it was nearly impossible to keep from making connections with people. Whether it was through work at the diner or striking up a conversation with someone at the store, you were quickly becoming interwoven in the lives of the people who graciously accepted you as one of their own.

You were particularly becoming fast friends with the girl who worked the register at the pizzeria below your apartment. Her name was Hailey and she was a couple years younger than you, but you had a lot in common, one of which was a shared taste in the same movies and books, so you were excited when she invited you to join a book club she and a couple other women in town started. As much as you enjoyed talking about books, you found you also very much enjoyed listening to all the town gossip that inevitably came out after everyone had their first glass of wine.

"So, Nikki, did I hear Sam asked you out on a date?" an older woman named Martha asked. Nikki blushed when the group turned to her, some women poking her in the side and others murmuring excitedly under their breath.

"Yeah, but it's not a big deal," Nikki said, flicking her long, dark hair over her shoulder. She looked to be a little older than you were but it was hard to guess her age.

"Not back in town for two weeks and she's already got a date," Hailey said, rolling her eyes next to you playfully. "Some girls got all the luck."

"Oh, stop it," she chided with a smirk, then paused as if she were rethinking her next statement before blurting out "kind of wish someone else woulda asked me out instead."

That got the whole group's attention, even your own, and you barely had any idea who most of these people were. But you supposed any amount of gossip paired with alcohol is good gossip.

"Oh, please, you don't gotta say it, we all know who you've been chasin' after all these years," another woman chimed in with a giggle. Fortunately, you weren't the only person in the dark.

"Who?" Hailey asked, leaning forward eagerly.

"Joel, obviously," the other woman replied, and while the rest of the group groaned, everyone tossing in their two cents and offering up their favorite things about him, you remained frozen in your chair, blood running cold.

"Lord, he came into school last week to pick up Sarah, and the way his ass looked in those jeans..."

"Did I ever tell you about the time I nearly slipped on the ice and he caught me? Had to go to confession the next day..."

"... and I swear, I've considered committing a crime just so he would throw those handcuffs on me..."

"I don't know how that man has been single for so long..."

Part of you wanted to laugh at some of the things the women were saying about Joel, but the other part of you felt hot and angry. You wanted to scream shut up, don't think about him like that, don't even look at him. And through your alcoholic haze, you realized you were jealous. Jealous of all of these women, young and old, barking out comments about the town sheriff you had no business feeling jealous over.

The next day when he came into the diner for lunch, your head was still swirling with all of the comments the women in town made the day before. Distracted, you dropped your pen and pad on the ground as you made your way over to greet him, cursing under your breath.

Joel grinned when you finally approached, looking every bit as frazzled as you felt.

"Tough day?"

"Huh? Oh," you said nervously, tucking your hair behind your ear and shaking your head. "N-no, not really. Well, maybe - shit," you said when you knocked over a box of straws with your fidgeting.

Joel laughed and leaned back in his chair.

"What's got you all worked up?" he asked, and you felt your cheeks flush with embarrassment.

"Nothing," you said, shaking your head again, trying to focus. "What can I get for you?"

"Nuh uh, darlin', not so fast," he said with a tsk, and you sighed. "What's goin' on? You can tell me, y'know. I am a man of the law."

He meant it to be playful, but with your history, it had the opposite effect. You winced and swallowed the lump in your throat, and trying not to make matters worse, you caved.

"I went to a book club last night," you mumbled, and he raised his eyebrows.

"Book club, huh? Sounds like fun," he said, watching you carefully. "Maybe had a little too much fun?"

You finally dragged your gaze up to meet his and saw he was grinning at you, and you managed to force out a small laugh.

"Yeah, you could say that," you said, hoping that would be enough, but he wouldn't let it go.

"Can you get me a coffee? Then when I get back from the restroom, I wanna hear all 'bout your little book club," he said with a wink, then stood from his chair and turned around, heading towards the bathrooms while your gaze landed on his ass. It didn't look too bad in dress pants, either.

You tried to steady your breathing while you flipped over a clean mug and filled it with coffee, your mind racing and wondering what lies you could come up with to prevent telling him the reason you were so distracted.

Lost in thought with your head down, you didn't even notice when another customer took a seat at the counter until the man cleared his throat. You glanced up and apologized before bending down to grab another mug and set it down in front of the stranger.

You were pouring his coffee and telling him about the specials, your eyes glued to the counter, when he slid the barrel of a pistol across the table and into your line of sight. You froze, your hands gripping the coffee pot fiercely as you broke out into a cold sweat. You flicked your eyes back up to him. He didn't appear to be much older than you. He had his unkept hair hidden underneath his black hoodie, and you noticed his eyes looked bloodshot, his skin clammy. You knew that look. You've seen that same look one too many times.

"What do you want?" you whispered, your voice shaking.

"Open the register, gimme all the cash in this bag," he said quietly, tossing a tote bag across the counter at you. You nodded, grabbing the bag while your fingers fumbled with the buttons, desperately trying to remember how to open the drawer without a sale. You could sense he was growing frustrated with how long it was taking, and you felt the tears welling up in your eyes.

"I'm sorry," you sobbed quietly. "I-I'm new, I can't remember-"

"Hurry the fuck up," he growled, and you blinked rapidly, trying to clear your vision, the tears falling down your cheeks.

"Drop the fuckin' gun, Marcus," you heard Joel's voice call out, and a wave of relief coursed through your body. But Marcus got startled, and instead of doing as he was told, reached across the counter and grabbed you by the throat, pulling you against his chest to partially shield his body, the gun pressed against your temple as your fingers clawed at his arms.

You couldn't move. You couldn't breathe. Tears just streamed down your face as you locked eyes with Joel. They no longer carried that playful glint, his lips no longer turned up into a grin. His brow was furrowed deep and his gun drawn, cradled expertly in his large palms as his eyes shifted back to Marcus.

"I'm not lookin' to hurt anyone, sheriff. Just lemme walk outta here," Marcus rumbled behind you, his sour breath invading your nostrils and making your stomach roll.

"Now, you know I can't do that," Joel said, taking a small step forward. "But put down the gun, let her go, and we'll talk."

The grip around your throat tightened and you let out a small, pained squeak. Joel's jaw clenched when he heard the noise, his patience running thin. You hadn't noticed at the time, but the entire diner had gone quiet, some patrons slinking down in their seats, others craning their necks to get a better look.

"Goddamnit, Marcus, don't test me today," Joel growled, his eyes ablaze. "I don't wanna call your mama and tell her I had to spray her only son's brains all over the floor, but I fuckin' will." The tone in Joel's voice sent a shiver down your spine as you stilled, waiting for the stand off to be over.

Finally, after what felt like hours, the grip on your throat loosened and you no longer felt the cold metal pressed against your head. Joel locked eyes with you again as you coughed and shakily fell down to the floor behind the counter, curling yourself into a ball while you heard Joel reading Marcus his rights, the jingle of his handcuffs rang like bells in your ears.

Once Marcus was restrained, you heard Tommy bolt out of the kitchen and rush over to you. He knelt down on the ground, asking if you were okay, if you needed a doctor, concern lacing his voice but when he reached out to touch you, you flung yourself backwards violently, knocking the back of your head against the counter.

"Shit," you muttered, rubbing your head as fresh tears fell down your cheeks.

"Hey, easy now," Tommy said soothingly, glancing over the counter as Joel spoke on the phone with Bobby, ordering him to bring a car to take Marcus back to the station and book him.

"I'm fine," you whimpered, still rubbing your head as you shakily forced yourself to your feet. You watched as Joel marched Marcus to the front of the diner, his knuckles white from how hard he was gripping his shoulder as he directed him through the door. A few patrons clapped weakly as the two disappeared outside, and the diner filled with excited chatter once again.

"You alright, sugar?" Betty asked, suddenly appearing beside you, face etched with worry. You flinched and brought a shaky hand to your sore neck.

"Yeah, I just need to use the restroom," you said, and before anyone could say anything further, you tore off your apron and made a beeline for the women's room.

You locked the door behind you and slid down to the grimy floor, burying your face in your hands as you sobbed, the adrenaline wreaking havoc on your nerves.

It was too much. It was all too much. The look in Marcus's eye was one you saw too many times. A junkie in desperate need for a fix. A drunk who would say or do anything for another drink. The fingers around your neck were no longer there, but you still felt them squeezing every last bit of oxygen from your lungs, every tear from your eye until you could hardly breathe.

The door handle jiggled and you jumped, wiping furiously at your face before shouting out a shaky occupied!

"Hey, it's me," you heard Joel's voice say from the other side of the door. No longer did he have that hardened edge to his tone. The warmth and softness in his drawl had returned.

"I just need a minute," you said quietly after a long silence, and you heard him shift his weight.

"I know, but I - can you let me in?" he asked, and you could hear the concern in his voice. You slid your eyes shut as fresh tears drenched your face once again. You ached for comfort. You wanted it so badly you would do just about anything for it. But every other time, you've been let down. Over and over and over again.

"I just need a minute," you repeated, just a whisper, not even sure he could hear.

"Then I'll be right here til you're ready, alright?" his voice came back, even softer this time. You nodded, even though he couldn't see you. You heard him sit down against the door with a tired sigh, and you let your head tilt so it rested against the door. There was a small bit of comfort to be had when you knew only an inch separated you from him.

"You were real brave," he said after a few minutes of silence. You scoffed and wiped your nose.

"Is that why I'm crying on the floor of a bathroom?"

"Please don't cry," he said, his voice strained. But you didn't say anything in return.

"He wasn't gonna do nothin'. He's got troubles, is all. Bad habits get the best of him, but he's harmless," he said, trying to make you feel better.

"I don't know, these bruises on my neck say differently," you replied, and you heard his breath hitch. Then you heard his shoes scuff on the tile floor.

"Lemme see," he said, his voice firmer now. He was standing, his voice above you, waiting to be let in. You hesitated, the tone of his voice putting you on edge, but you knew you couldn't hide in there forever. With a trembling hand, you reached up and unlocked the door, then scurried backwards so you were pressed up against the opposite wall as he swung the door open and stepped inside. His gaze fell on you and his eyes went soft at seeing your wrecked state before clicking the door shut behind him.

He rushed forward and you flinched. A bad habit of your own. He paused and slowed his movements, crouching down in front of you instead. He lifted a hand to pinch your chin but you turned your face away.

"Will you show me?" he asked gently. You gazed up at him with red rimmed eyes, your knees pulled tight against your chest. Finally, you lifted your chin. Again, he reached a hand out, but you stopped him.

"Please don't touch," you whispered. He looked at you and nodded slowly, dropping his hand again, examining your bruises with only his eyes.

"Maybe you should see a doctor," he said after a few minutes, but you shook your head.

"I'll be fine, it's just sore," you said, and his gaze flicked up from your throat to your eyes. His lips parted the longer he stared at you, and you felt the tremor return to your hands. You couldn't look away, his gaze too magnetic.

"Don't like seein' you cry," he murmured, still gazing deep into your eyes, trying so desperately to read you.

"I cry all the time," you said without even thinking. He blinked and frowned. He was about to say something else when a gentle knock on the door interrupted him.

"You okay in there?" Maria called out. You sighed and stretched out your legs, standing up and waving off Joel's helping hand.

"We don't gotta do it today, but I'll need you to come by and give your statement sometime soon," he said, glancing down at you with a sympathetic look.

"Okay," you replied, your voice cracking a bit. You looked at one another, both of you wanting to say more but neither of you could. So you reached out to open the door, forcing a smile for Maria.

"Sorry," you told her meekly, and she laughed.

"You're sorry? You just had a gun pointed at your head and you're sorry?"

You laughed weakly, then stopped short in pain, your fingers brushing against your throat.

"I just wanted to bring you your purse so you could sneak out the back," she said, lifting your purse up and handing it over to you.

"But my shift-"

"Oh my god, take the day off," Maria said, shaking her head and grinning. "Think you earned it."

"Okay," you agreed, then turned to walk through the kitchen where you could leave out the back so no customers would gawk at you.

"Lemme walk you home," Joel's voice said, startling you. You had just assumed he went back out front.

"Don't you have to, you know... work?" you asked, floundering for the right word.

"He ain't goin' anywhere," Joel said, shoving his hands deep in his pockets as he walked by your side down the sidewalk.

The two of you walked quietly for a few minutes.

"I've never seen you like that before," you said, breaking the silence. He turned his head towards you, raising his eyebrows.

"Like what?"

"Like, all... cop-like," you said, chuckling at your terrible choice in words.

Joel grinned and glanced down at his feet.

"Yeah, well, job's not all inappropriate graffiti and speed traps."

You hummed in agreement as you kept walking.

"Do you have to unholster your service weapon often?"

"'Service weapon'?" he repeated, surprised at the term you chose. Although it wasn't wrong, it typically was not something most people said. You just looked at him, not acknowledging it, so he let it go.

"Uh, no, not really," he said, biting the inside of his cheek.

"Oh," was all you said, taking a deep breath and continued to stare straight ahead. He watched you from the corner of his eye for a moment.

"When I came outta the bathroom and saw - " he stopped short, then rubbed his lower lip with the pad of his thumb as he collected his thoughts. "You were scared. And I... reacted."

You glanced his way again, but he kept his eyes focused straight ahead. What was he trying to say?

"Thank you," you said softly, but he was quick to shake his head.

"Not lookin' for you to thank me," he said, finally allowing his gaze to drift back to you, giving you a small smile.

When you finally reached your apartment, you took out your keys and turned to him, ready to thank him again, even though he told you not to, but he spoke first.

"Here, why don't you take this," he said, holding out a small white card between his index and middle finger. You gingerly took it and flipped it over, reading the text on the other side.

"It's my card. Call me when you wanna stop by the station," he reminded you, and you nodded.

"My cell's on there, too. If you ever, y'know," he said, half a smirk playing on his lips as he nervously shifted his weight. "You ever wanna talk 'bout anythin', really. 'Bout what happened today, or... book club," he said, and you laughed. He grinned, relieved to finally see you smile again.

"Okay," you said with a nod, and turned to put the key in the lock.

He watched as you made your way all the way up the steps, and didn't leave until he saw the second door at the top of the stairs close firmly behind you.

Taglist: @harriedandharassed@merz-8@sarap-77 @nandan11 @anoverwhelmingdin @fandomscollide @survivingandenduring

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel the last of us #joel miller smut #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller series #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #pedro pascal #the last of us hbo #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #sheriff!joel #waitress reader #STR fic

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halsteadlover · 6 months

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𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞

*Gif and pics not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Fem!Reader.

• Requested: no.

• Summary: being away most of the time, Charles is not always there to give you what you need so you decide to take the matter in your hands… But with a little help.

• Warnings: masturbation (f), use of vibrator, oral sex (fem receiving), swearing, unprotected sex (what can I say I’m a sucker BUT USE PROTECTION YOU GUYS).

• Word count: 3192.

• A/N: PLEASE READ THIS ONLY IF YOU’RE 18+. Here is my first Charles fic, I’m so nervous about it so please have some mercy 😭 I really hope you’ll like it, let me know what you think and comment, like and reblog if you want. Sending lots of love to all of you ❤️

When Charles turned the keys in the door lock he didn't immediately announce his presence, wanting to surprise you.

He put the bag on the ground and took off his jacket, but it was him who was caught completely off guard when he heard sounds that could only be moans.

He froze in place, his heart immediately starting to beat wildly in his chest.

What the fuck?

There was no doubt they were your moans, he would’ve recognized them from a mile away. For an instant the world collapsed on him, already projecting into his head you fucking with someone else on the bed you shared.

With silent steps and trembling legs he approached your bedroom, noticing the open door and immediately mentally breathing a sigh of relief in realizing you were the only one there.

He knew you’d never do something like that to him but he couldn't control the heart attack fear almost caused him.

However, his eyes almost popped out of their sockets when he realized what you were doing. You were leaning back on the bed frame, your shirt pulled up enough to leave your breasts exposed, you were naked from the waist down, legs spread and the vibrator in your hands.

Charles leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest as his eyes were glued to you. You didn’t noticed his presence, your eyes half closed as you let yourself be carried away by the pleasure.

“Oh Charles… Yes…”

Pleasure coursed through your veins as the vibrations radiated all over your pussy.

That evening you were particularly needy and horny and Charles wasn't home as he was away for the Mexican GP and would be back the next day. Unfortunately you had a lot of work to do so you couldn’t join him and saying you were missing him like crazy was an understatement.

“Oh yes.” A small moan escaped your lips, your eyes closed as you let yourself be carried away by the sensations. It felt good, you couldn’t deny it, but it wasn’t Charles.

God, only him knew how to touch you. He knew every button to press to make you completely lose your mind, he knew how to give you such overwhelming pleasure it’d make you lose the ground beneath your feet and your soul to come out of your body.

As you continued to move the vibrator on your clit, trying to find the exact point of high pleasure, you imagined his hands on you, touching you, his tongue licking your pussy, his dick inside of you as he fucked you until he took your breath away.

Another soft moan left your lips and he felt his pants get tighter and tighter as his dick got harder and harder. It had been too long since he last touched you, since he heard you moan his name like that and just seeing you brought back that desire he had repressed for weeks and weeks.

Before he knew it his palm was already pressing on his crotch as he watched you masturbate, trying to find some relief.

He wanted so much to approach you, take that vibrator out of you hand and use his mouth but he was mesmerized, he couldn't take his eyes off you and that pussy so wet he wanted to drown himself in it.

He would’ve liked to take his cell phone and film it so he could watch you over and over again but in any case he knew that image would never leave his mind again and seeing you giving yourself pleasure would be a fantasy he would’ve replayed for the rest of his life.

But when his erection started to press painfully against his pants he couldn't resist anymore, the need to have you and touch you was too intense to just continue watching.

“You missed me that much baby?”.

He tried to suppress a chuckle when you jumped in fright, throwing the vibrator next to you and instinctively closing your legs. He couldn't help but find adorable the way your cheeks got redder than Ferrari, as if you had just been caught committing a crime.

You didn't know what emotions to listen to first: shame for being caught masturbating or joy and shock because your boyfriend was finally home.

“Charles oh my god you’re here! I thought… I thought you were coming back tomorrow.”

He walked over and climbed onto the bed, crawling towards you until he was inches away from your face. You grabbed his face and kissed him but since he was so horny he couldn't even think anymore, he immediately deepened the kiss sliding his tongue in your mouth.

Soon you found yourselves lost in each other, taken by the passion and inebriation that made your head spin and that you had both missed so much. It was enough to set off a flock of butterflies in your stomach, and as your mouths moved against each other you feared you’d pass out there in his arms.

“Putain, I missed you so much,” he whispered against your lips as he caught his breath after that impetuous, almost animalistic kiss. His hand wrapped around one of your breasts, squeezing and groping it before leaning down and surrounding the other with his lips, biting and sucking on your nipple and eliciting sighs from you.

“Tell me what were you thinking about chérie?”.

“You baby, only you. Charles please I need you.” You moaned, wanting his fingers inside you.

He took the vibrator next to you and lay between your legs resting on one elbow, his eyes fixed on yours and a smirk on his lips. He was so fucking how that this alone would’ve been enough to make you come.

“I want to know baby. What were you thinking about? Tell me,” he spoke but before you could say anything he placed the still working vibrator back on your clit causing you to let out a loud moan.

He looked away from your eyes to your wet pussy, his mouth watering at the mere sight of it, looking at it as if he had just found the holy grail.

“Now I’m going to lick this gorgeous pussy and I want to hear what you were thinking while you were touching yourself okay?”.

You couldn't answer, too caught up with the pleasure you were feeling to even talk. He removed the vibrator and you let out a frustrated sigh.

“Answer me.”

“Y-yes… Just touch me please, I need it so badly…” you babbled and you didn’t care how pathetic you sounded, now that you finally had Charles you wanted him with every fiber of your body.

“My princess is so needy,” he smirked again before sticking his tongue out and taking a long, slow lick on your pussy, moaning at the sensation. Few words could describe how he felt after finally tasting you after so long but none came to mind, too focused on controlling himself to not come in his pants.

“Fuck… Do it again please.”

“Mon dieu, I missed this pussy so fucking much,” he moaned, “I'm gonna take such a good care of you baby… But I'm still waiting.”

He drew another long line across your labia, his tongue wet with your fluids. You threw your head back as your chest rose and fell rapidly.

“I was… I was thinking about your t-tongue licking me… Fuck I can't…”

He started licking you more vehemently, eating you out like a hungry man who hadn’t put anything in his stomach in months. His lips sucked on your folds as his tongue focused on your clit and that, coupled with the suppressed pleasure, was enough to push you over the edge.

Charles had never been as horny as he was at that moment. Every fiber of his body trembled with the desire to have you, he felt like he was burning, even though your pleasure came before everything and there was no more satisfying sexual act than pleasure you until your soul was consumed.

He slowly penetrated you with the vibrator and for a moment you seriously thought you were dying.

At that point you couldn’t think or say anything other that wasn’t a moan or a loud gasp.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck… Oh shit…”

You continued to squirm while he instead kept you anchored to the bed, preventing you from moving away. No matter how intense you and Charles’ sex life was, each time it was better than the last.

The combination of his tongue continuing to stimulate your clit, his mouth eating you out, and the vibrator inside you was too much, too much to bear. You didn’t know how much more your body could hold, how much more you could sustain before collapsing into many pieces.

Your hands threaded through his hair, pulling it and eliciting such a sexy growl from him you felt it in every corner of your body as your legs trembled so much you seemed to be convulsing.

“I can’t… Charles p-please…”

“Yes you can baby, you’re so good to me,” he murmured, almost risking coming again when you pulled his hair hard. He eventually gave up on knowing what you were thinking while touching yourself, knowing it’d be impossible for you to talk.

But god he fucking loved that. He loved seeing you squirm like that and not being even able to properly speak, he loved hearing you scream his name so loud all the neighbors must’ve heard you, he loved feeling the taste of your pussy so wet and your fluids covering his chin.

Your muscles began to tense, your guts to twist, your breathing irregular. The pleasure you were feeling in that moment was something you had never felt before, it was indescribable.

“Stop… Stop… I need… Please…” you cried out not knowing what you were saying, feeling like you were about to explode, trying to push his head away because of how overwhelming pleasure was.

Charles smiled on your pussy, continuing to lick you and let the vibrator penetrate you.

The orgasm that hit you full on was so intense it almost made your heart stop, your breathing caught up in your chest and your soul come out of your body. Waves of pleasure ran through your body as if shaken by electric shocks, and you would’ve been lying if you said you didn’t truly feel you were about to faint.

It was the most fucking beautiful and overwhelming orgasm you had ever felt in your life.

Charles licked and swallowed every trace of your leaking fluids, adding equally as much pleasure to that intense orgasm. Your head spun but at the same time, so light you felt yourself floating in space, momentarily disconnected from the entire world.

But he didn’t give you time to recover but from that sensational orgasm.

He tossed the vibrator onto a random spot on the bed and lifted himself up before grabbing your ankles and dragging you towards him and laying you flat on your back on the mattress.

He kissed you, sucking away that bit of strength and soul that was left in your body. You tasted yourself in his mouth, his chin and beard still wet with your fluids. His hands roamed ferociously all over your body and never before he was so desperate, hungry and eager to have you.

“I need you so fucking bad baby, god I need you,” he whispered against your lips as you tore off each others clothes which ended up being thrown somewhere in the room. “I need to be inside you.”

Charles let out a deep, loud moan as his dick penetrated you, practically sliding into you because of how wet you were. His chest rose and fell quickly as he tried not to come instantly even though it was damn hard when you wrapped and squeezed him so perfectly.

“Oh mon putain de dieu,” he cursed through gritted teeth, his breath heavy on your lips as he struggled to keep control. His forehead was covered in a light layer of sweat, his lips were parted as you breathed in each other's sighs and, damn it, he had never looked more mesmerizing and beautiful than he was in that moment.

You lost yourself in his eyes, those eyes you had missed so much it hurt, in those eyes in which you found your refuge from the world.

You wrapped your legs around his pelvis, pressing your heels into the small of his back in an attempt to get him closer to you, closer than he already was. It didn’t matter how warm his skin was pressed against yours, how close the two of you were, it was never enough, you always wanted more.

“Fucking hell baby you destroy me,” he groaned as he began to move his hips, making you writhe beneath him and pant as if you were the most experienced of porn stars. Your fingers traced his shoulders, nails instead pressing so deeply into his skin you feared he’d start to bleed.

“Yeah moan for me, let everyone know who gets to fuck you like this,” he groaned in your ear, causing a rush of shivers throughout your body, in contrast to the fire that instead blazed inside you. His thrusts were forceful, strong, so deep you were sure you wouldn't be able to sit up for days, his dick stretching every corner of your pussy.

You tried to kiss him but it was a messy kiss, which neither of you could continue due to the gasps and moans that were coming out of your mouths.

Charles was fucking you just like you’d expect an animal would and you couldn't even remember your own name anymore by then.

“Fuck baby fuck… Ah shit…” you moaned. “Don’t stop please don’t stop.”

He held you closer to him, as if somehow your souls could join, his face was hidden in the crook of your neck while his tongue licked your skin and his lips sucked them not caring if he could leave any mark.

“That’s it, that’s my pretty girl, shit, taking my dick so good,” he praised you making his dick twitch inside you as your walls tightened around him. “Oh yeah… Fuck… Keep clenching around me like that. You want to make me come? My pretty girl likes when I praise her doesn’t she?”.

God please have mercy on my soul because I’m about to die.

Charles felt he was about to come but he didn’t want to, he still wanted to be buried deep inside you, he still wanted to feel your pussy so wet it could swallow him, he wanted to hear your moans in his ears, your nails scratching his back, he wanted to swallow your breaths and sighs.

He pulled out before grabbing your hips and flipping you onto your stomach, moving like he pleased as if you were a doll. He bent you over, your hands held together behind your back with his right hand and your face pressed against the mattress.

With a single thrust he penetrated you again, starting to fuck you again and picking up the same intense and ferocious rhythm and making you almost spit every organ in your body. The bed moved to the rhythm of his thrusts, creaking under your weight as the sound mixed with his groans, your moans and the sound of your skin colliding with each other.

The fingers of his left hand pressed into the skin of your hip as he continued to move aimlessly in and out of your pussy, fucking you mercilessly into oblivion. “Fuck I missed this, god yeah…” he moaned, throwing his head back, eyes half closed as he struggled to hold on any longer.

You were on the verge of losing consciousness, completely unsure whether you’d survive a second orgasm which, from the pleasure and the way your body was shaking and spasming, would come very soon and be just as overwhelming and shocking as the first one.

“Oh C-Charles… I can’t… Oh yeah just like that baby keep going… Fuck…” you babbled in pure ecstasy and bliss, feeling his dick hitting that deep spot inside you. The fact you couldn’t move and your hands were held behind your back added even more pleasure and intensity and you actually felt like you couldn’t breathe anymore.

He went deeper and deeper with each thrust and it didn't take long for your vision to blur and for another orgasm to completely destroy you, making you almost die on that mattress.

Death from an orgasm, that would’ve been a pretty good headline.

His movements started to become erratic, messy, losing the vigorous and ferocious rhythm he had been using until recently. “Ah shit, shit, I'm coming fuck yes… Ah yes!” he loudly groaned before giving one final thrust and with it emptying himself into you, his dick twitching as he filled you with his cum until the last drop.

He stayed inside you for a moment as he softened and tried to catch his breath, his mouth still slightly open, struggling to get air.

Charles let go of your hands which fell dead weight on the bed and when he pulled out you lay on the bed, exhausted and on the verge of requiring an oxygen tank. He did the same, collapsing dead weight next to you as well.

There was a few moments of silence, broken only by your heavy breathing as you both tried to get it back into a normal rhythm. You wanted to kiss him, hug him, hold him until he’d get tired of it but you were genuine when you said you couldn’t move a damn muscle.

“Wow…” he breathed out, eyes still closed. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I can’t wait to come back home the next time and see you touch yourself again.” You chuckled tiredly, your eyes closed too. “But I’m not going to lie, I almost had a heart attack as soon as I walked in the door. You really scared the shit out of me for a second bébé.”

“You’re so stupid. I only have eyes for you love, you know that,” you murmured, still laughing and finally managing to open your eyes only for your heart to explode when you looked at his serene expression and the small smile on his lips.

He’s here, he’s truly here.

It was only then that you stopped to look at him and there was no need to say that he was always breathtakingly beautiful, his hair was slightly longer since the last time, his lips rosy, his cheeks flushed and the joy that filled you for finally having him back again was indescribable.

“Can you kiss me now please Mr Leclerc?”.

He opened his eyes and a laugh came out of his mouth before he leaned in and left a sweet, long kiss on your lips, lifting a hand and fixing the hair fallen in your face that you were sure looked more like a nest of birds.

“Welcome home baby.”

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the-sweet-madame · 2 months

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ꜱʟᴇᴇᴘʟᴇꜱꜱ ɴɪɢʜᴛꜱ (𝘟𝘪𝘢𝘰 𝘹 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳)

(Let me defend myself by saying this is one of my earlier fics that I forgot about 🧍so it's really bad lmao)

Warnings: None.

Summary: You couldn't sleep, so you call for Xiao.

Female reader! Happy reading :)

[Y/N] stared at the ceiling, counting all the cracks there was before losing count and starting again. How long has it been? Hours? A light groan erupted from her lips as she tossed and turned. She thought maybe she could bore herself to sleep but no! The world hated her, as always. She found herself huffing in annoyance, perhaps was it the lack of warmth or comfortableness? Or was it both?

Or did the Archons feel like making everything harder for her? Sleep was the only escape from such troubles.

She gazed back into the darkness, the darkness reminding her of a certain male. Xiao. His eyes displayed no emotions, only darkness that rivalled the night sky. [Y/N] softly smiled at the mental image of him, he was truly a view to behold. His rich amber orbs glimmered with such horror, hiding away the deepest secrets of the world. His skin fair and pale like snow, pillowy to the touch. His green frosted tips always danced with the breeze alongside with his mask, softer than wool and silkier than Eri Silk, it made her envious.

"If you awake to a knife at your throat. If monsters dig their claws into you. If death comes knocking at your door, call out my name, Adeptus Xiao. And I will be there when you call," He spoke with his usual cold tone, his gaze piercing a hole into her skull before he hid away his face with his mask, disappearing into thin air, leaving the (H/C)-haired girl speechless.

She chuckled at the memory. That was probably the first time he spoke more than one sentence to her. She found it funny when he waited for her to abandon him, who the hell said she was going to leave a precious find like him? Only such fools would. And when he finally realised that. He begun to warm up to her to the point where he shared his Almond Tofu with her.

"Xiao," She whispered to the darkness.

With a gust of air, the adeptus stood in front of her, spear in hand, ready to fight off any monster. His eyes widened when all he saw was the female resting on her bed. Of course, he was relieved that no harm overcame her, but it irked him that she called him for no reason.

"There is no danger, why have you called for me?" The said male glared at her through his mask, giving [Y/N] shivers even though she couldn't see him.

"I couldn't sleep," She replied, snuggling deeper into the covers.

His sigh was laced with annoyance, "Why are you mortals so bothersome?"

He would admit that she was quite the bold one, she was truly extraordinary for a mere mortal. Her presence was overwhelming, not like his, fearsome and full of hatred. It was more of a peaceful one. With a mix of excitement, which explained her bubbliness.

"Awh, do you not love me?" Her tone mocked sorrow as she stifled a chuckle.

The sound of light footsteps approached her, leaving her question unanswered as he set his polearm against the wall and his mask on her bedside table.

"Move over."

His demand left the female shocked, he never did anything like this, but she wasn't complaining. After all, she wanted this anyways. She shuffled under the covers, lifting up the heap blankets for him to come in. The mattress dipped next to her as the adeptus laid next to her, his face inches away from hers. His hair sprawled over her pillow as her gaze trailed down to his lips. The corners of his lips barely tugged upwards; they were sternly pulled into a thin line all the time.

His arms slithered around her waist, pulling her into his chest, "Stupid mortal, always messing with my head," He mumbled softly as he watched her eyelids hide away her (e/c) hues. Seeing her so peaceful gave him a sense of warmth somehow. He raised his hand to ghostly caress her cheek, his touch could be compared to a feathers'.

"Go to sleep, I will be here."

[y/n] smiled, feeling the heat rush to her cheeks at his words and the affection given from him, she knew she was the only one he trusted enough for him to do so. And she was grateful for it.

"Goodnight, Xiao," She whispered, falling into a peaceful slumber.

#genshin #genshin impact #mihoyo #fluff #hoyoverse #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin x y/n #xiao #alatus #xiao x reader #xiao x you #xiao x y/n #xiao genshin impact #i love him

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heartgold · 7 months

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Always loved how Umineko subverts the whole "creepy horror little girl" thing with Maria going kihihihi mode in Legend and almost baiting a less attentive reader into believing she's Evil or being possessed by Beatrice only for the text to immediately explain that her shift in behavior when infodumping about the topic her entire life and sense of self revolves around to the adults who belittled her and are now interested due to recent developments makes perfect sense if you think about it for 5 seconds. And then that behavior causing discord and panic as the murders keep happening which leads to her being yelled at and smacked around and literally thrown to the wolves while the text is basically gripping the reader's shoulders explaining how much witches mean to Maria and how this tragedy has an entirely different meaning to her. It begs the reader to avoid the kneejerk impulse of reading her unfavorably when she isn't behaving in ways that are agreeable or cute anymore, because she doesn't only deserve understanding and your sympathy when she's the innocent little girl being horribly abused by her mother. Which is why Maria haters really failed the most basic litmus test in Umineko, imagine being that wrong. lol

Anyway the point I wanted to make was that it's interesting to me how that was also done in Higurashi and Umineko basically expanded on it. The way Akasaka in Himatsubushi immediately projected this image of a lovely cute ideal child on Rika only to be taken aback and frightened when she suddenly started talking seriously about her premonitions of death and he couldn't reconcile this Rika with the Rika he projected her to be, suspecting that they couldn't possibly be the same little girl, she must've been possessed by Oyashiro-sama or not even human herself. And then that fear and the betrayal of his expectations stopping him from realizing that she was, in fact, a little girl asking him for help because she desperately wanted to escape certain death. She didn't only deserve his protection when she was doing her cutesy nipah☆ bit. It speaks a lot how Akasaka was a soon-to-be father, saw Rika being cute and immediately set that impression as an ideal for his daughter who wasn't even born yet, and Rika herself breaking that image meant shattering that ideal. Akasaka failing Rika is a direct reflection of the mentality of parents placing expectations on their children and then feeling betrayed and giving up when they turn out to be complex individuals who don't match the projections they made up. And this is similar to the surprise of Maria going from a cute and naive child to cackling and speaking at length about "scary" topics in a smug tone, and the way the text immediately explains that you should get over the whiplash and accept that Maria is a complex individual, there's nothing out of place about it if you try to understand her situation

Basically I think it's neat how both games use the idea of an archetype that honestly would fit right into the setting to basically shake up the expectations of the audience and the characters themselves and add to the fundamental point the series makes, that girls who behave in ways you can't personally comprehend (with a big emphasis on neurodivergent and traumatized girls) and/or that aren't palatable deserve unconditional understanding and compassion, that they shouldn't have to match your projection of who you want them to be or be helpless perfect victims for you to sympathize with them

#umineko #higurashi #child abuse cw #i rly dislike how the console cgs leaned too heavily into making maria look creepy in a shocking way bc thats clearly not #the vibe you get from the original. shes just an autistic girl very smug about infodumping and feeling vindicated. which makes their #reaction of being terrified n treating her harshly even more blatantly unfounded. theyre afraid of a witch n taking it out on a little girl #◇

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pathetic-sapphic · 6 months

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hi i loovveeddd your dom!abby headcanons :3 especially the fact that you added that abby would love a softer/chubby girlfriend!!! is there any chance that you could write more about abby’s love for her plus size very subby gf? <3 both sfw and nsfw would be much appreciated thank uuu

Abby with a Plus Size S/O

SFW

Okay so, as I mentioned here, Abby tends to have a preference for chubby and fat girls. Of course, she loves you for more than just your looks but your body looked so delectable to her, she always wanted you to feel sexy and worshipped.

Is physically unable to keep her hands of off you whenever you're at an arm's length. Likes standing behind you, protectively and possessively keeping her arms wound around your waist. Likes to tease you by slapping your ass or groping your tits in public when no one's looking. Snickers when you turn to her with a beet red face.

When you wear clothes that hug your curves, be it sexy or cute clothes, Abby is a goner. Literally cannot keep her eyes off of you, sometimes you swear you can see a bit of drool escaping the corner of her lips as you catch her staring at you.

I think that she's an ass girl, although she definitely cannot complain if you got fat tits or thighs. She just loves the way your pants fit your pretty butt and is always smacking, pinching or groping it as she passes by you. She's a grabber for sure. Dies and goes to heaven if you wear a miniskirt.

Sit on her lap, please. She loves the feeling of your warmth and softness on top of her, don't be afraid of putting your whole weight on her, she loves it. I mean, have you seen those muscles? Don't you dare to even think that you might be too heavy for her because she will take offense.

Your thighs are her favorite stress balls (next to your tits). She's always kneading them with her rough hands whenever you're sitting next to her. Sometimes her hand ventures a bit too far, but we'll be saving that for later.

Abby is such a sweetheart if you're ever feeling insecure, so so loving and gentle with you. Has no issue with reassuring you just how gorgeous and amazing you are to her, as many times as you need her to. Feels so proud of you when she sees you being confident and with the way she treats you, it's definitely not hard to learn to feel attractive thanks to her constant praise and compliments.

NSFW

Abby is shy to admit it, but she has a bit of a stocking kink. Seeing the way thigh highs look on you has her mind reeling. Not to mention if you add garter belts to the mix, you will be unable to walk for days once she sees you like this.

Is always gripping your soft hips whenever she's ramming her strap into you. It's hard to feel self-conscious about your hip dips when they're decorated with the bruises your loving girlfriend left the night before.

Please sit on her face. She wants you to suffocate her with your thick thighs and fat pussy. Abby is a fat pussy enthusiast, the sounds she makes as she eats you out are downright sinful. She makes you feel as if you're some delicious pastry, if her slurping and moans are anything to go by. And boy is she a messy eater!

Another good way to go is by being suffocated by your tits. Big or small, round or saggy, she doesn't care. Abby loves your boobs, calls them 'her girls' and you can bet she'll plunge her face in-between them whenever you're riding her.

Really wants to try shibari with you. She stumbled upon images of that sort one day and just couldn't get the mental picture of your soft curves being hugged by the ropes out of her head. The way you'd be bound and completely dependent on her mercy makes Abby go feral (disrespectfully). Puts on her best puppy eyes when asking you if you'd be interested, knowing that you can't say no to those.

Always makes sure to pay some extra attention to any stretch marks or scars that she might find while worshipping your body. They're what makes you you and she wants you to know just how much she adores your whole body and soul.

Her favorite position is doggy style and cowgirl. She loves doggy because it allows her to get a good view of your pretty ass, and I already mentioned before how much she adores it. Likes to smack it lightly (or roughly if that's what you're into) and sometimes even leaves bite marks on your cheeks. Cowgirl is perfect because she gets to sit back and enjoy the image of her beautiful girlfriend riding her. The way your tummy and boobs jiggle as you bounce up and down on her strap is enough to make Abby cum on the spot.

Overall, a very loving and caring girlfriend, Abby always makes sure to worship and take good care of you, never failing to make you feel loved, attractive and happy.

#the last of us #abby anderson smut #abby anderson x reader #abby tlou #abby x reader #abby x fem!reader #abby the last of us #abby anderson x you #abby anderson x female reader

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trumpkinhotboy · 6 months

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Lean on me

Pairing: Twin Brother!Nick Nelson x Twin sister!Reader

Type: Request (thank you so much!!)

Genre: Angst that ends with a lot of fluff

Warnings: Sexual Assault situation. Although the details aren't of extreme nature, it can still be a hard thing to read for some people, so be careful <33

Rating: 13+ (because of SA)

Word count: ~ 4600

Requests: Open! For Heartstopper, twilight wolfpack, chronicles of narnia and harry potter

A/n: I was really inspired for this fic and it took me quite some time to write it. I hope you will enjoy protective brother nick nelson and the fluff with the Paris gang as much as I do. If you have any requests feel free to message me !!

A/n pt.2: Please don't come for me for my summary, I fucking hate writing those xoxo

*gif is not mine!!

Summary: The reader goes to a party without her twin brother, Nick. Through different circonstances, she ends up dancing with someone who might have not rightfully earned her trust. The situation quickly escalates to horrible heights. She will have no other choice, but to learn how to defend herself, and how to lean on the people who matters for her.

Your heart is racing, your eyes are burning, and silent tears stream down your face. You rest on the threshold of the door you've just exited from. You can't grasp and even begin to process what just happened. You look up, hearing your name being called from afar. It feels like you're in a different dimension. Everywhere you look, reality seems distorted by some filter. Finally, you focus on your mother's face. She's sitting in her little car, window down, waving at you. Automatically, your body starts walking toward the car, but mentally you are elsewhere. In a dark corridor up in this horrible mansion. Trapped.

Your heart beats in a thumping rhythm as you cross the threshold of the mansion. Music is blasting out at an alarmingly loud volume with the place already packed.

You try to calm your breathing and to remember you were invited and belong here as much as anybody else. The few people you cross paths with wave at you. You smile back, trying to look confident and relaxed. The image of collected cool.

Even though there's actually a weight dropping in your stomach.

You are, after all, Nick Nelson's twin sister. He has a certain 'popular kid' reputation that was mostly passed on to you by association. You are both known for being nice and popular kids. Although you definitely are more lowkey than your 'rugby king' brother. So, even if you aren't sure these people are your crowd, you couldn't refuse when you had been invited to some guy's end-of-exams party.

It wasn't rare for you to be invited to events like this. Although, it was one of the few times your brother didn't join you. Ever since he started dating Charlie and got closer with the Paris gang, you could see less and less of him at these kinds of gatherings. That's why tonight, instead of being here with you, drinking lukewarm punch and listening to questionable music as some alcoholized teens were being unleashed in a mansion worth ten times your house, he was hanging out at home with his friends. You would much rather be with them, but they were Nick's friends, and even though they were nice to you, you always felt like the annoying sister trying to tag along in her brother's friend group.

That's why even when 95% of you wanted to turn back around and escape that terrible party, you took a deep breath in and let yourself be swallowed by the crowd of people.

10:15pm. You had been here for an hour, and it did not get better. The cup of punch in your hands was sticky and smelled incredibly weird. No doubt because someone had dumped in a bunch of mixed liquors. Your friends were all hanging around. Either dancing or flirting with some questionable-behaving young men. You couldn't help but look at your phone about a thousand times in the last twenty minutes. You thought about calling your mother. You knew she'd come to fetch you, but then what? You'd go back home? Seeing Nick and all of his friends having a jolly old time while you had failed to have a good night on your own? No, thank you.

You loved Nick to death, but sometimes, seeing how liked he was proved to be incredibly difficult for you. You always felt like an impostor. He dared to be himself, and people liked him anyway. You weren't so sure you'd be met with the same welcome if you dared step away from the facade you had carefully built all these years.

Maybe that's why you accepted to dance with someone you didn't even know. You did see each other around a few times but never actually spoke. He seemed nice enough, so when he reached out a hand and offered you to dance, you drank a sip of your horrible drink and joined him on the crowded dancefloor without question.

He was entertaining and invented goofy dance moves to make you laugh, but all the while, something felt off. You felt like you were being watched. Sometimes, you'd see his gaze over you as if he was looking at someone else. Each time you'd try to look in that direction to see who he might be looking at, he'd find some clever way to focus your attention elsewhere. After a few songs, you were both out of breath, sweaty, and hoping for a break. You were about to invent a creative excuse to get away when he offered to get some water. You hesitated, trying to look around for a friend, but none were in sight.

"Come on, we'll get some water and air if you want to. I know a spot." His expression was kind and seemed genuine. That's why, again, you followed him even though some small part of you screamed that you shouldn't.

The feeling in your gut turned queasy as he led you through dark corridors. The once kind smile that graced his features seemed to turn smug as you headed deeper into the house. You finally reached a little room far away from the agitated crowd. He opened the door, inviting you inside. "Are you coming?"

Your feet were rooted to the ground, the feeling in your stomach spreading to your entire body. This felt wrong.

"Uhm, no. I think my mom will be here soon. I should go." You took a step backward, trying to put some distance between the two of you. Trying to calm the instinct that screamed at you to run.

"Oh, come on. Don't you want a glass of water?"

You only stared at him, not daring to respond, too scared to fall into this trap he layed in front of you. You knew water would not be involved if you entered that room, and he seemed to get that too, "We had fun, didn't we?" the change in his tone made shivers creep up your arms. Gone was his facade of the innocent boy. He now looked like a snake trying to lure in his prey.

"Yeah, but now it's time for me to go. Thanks."

He stepped towards you, making you fully back into the wall. "Please stay. It's my party, you know. The least you could do is stay a little longer with me."

You looked around, noticing his arms had crept on the wall on either side of you.

"Please get your arms off," you demanded. You tried to make your voice sound assured but failed to hide the quiver in it. He noticed it, and the glim of rotten confidence in his eyes shone brighter. He had you exactly where he wanted you.

He trailed one finger up your arm, your stomach tying in knots at the touch. "You know, I've seen you around a lot. You're Nick Nelson's sister. People talk about you. They say you're stuck up. You've never had a boyfriend or anything, am I right? I like girls like that, so nice, so pure."

You almost threw up on him, the allusions making you feel nauseous. You couldn't, and wouldn't, hide the disgust filling your eyes. You looked around, hoping to see someone turn up. Praying for someone to come, but it seemed you were out of luck as the corridor stayed empty.

His hand went up in your hair, and you held your breath. Terror like you had never felt before paralyzed your body. "The guys bet you wouldn't get with me, but I think we have potential together. Am I right? We could head in that little room together and see what happens."

You felt the hand on your waist slowly slide down your hip, tugging you closer.

"Get off of me!" you exploded as you pushed him back as hard as you could. He hit the door behind him quite hard, the doorknob digging in his back. You made a headstart to get away, but before you could get further, his hand grabbed your wrist, tightening his grip until he had you wincing in pain.

He gritted his teeth, ambers of rage dancing in his eyes. "Oh, come on, don't be like this. Stay here with me, and we'll have fun." He pulled you backward by the collar of your shirt, and you heard the fabric rip with a distinct sound. He pressed you tight on his chest. You could feel every part of him pushing hard against your back. He gripped your hips while his other hand fumbled with your chest. His foul mouth on your neck.

Refusing to give up, you gathered all the self-defense knowledge you had and stepped on his foot as hard as you could, hitting him with your elbow in the stomach at the same time. You put all your strength in the blow as if you were trying to pierce him through. You knew you cut the air from his body with the sound he made. His arms loosened up for a second, and this time, when you started running in the opposite direction, nothing stopped you.

Running as fast as you could, you looked back for a second. Unable to resist the reflex to confirm you weren't being followed. Whipping your head to the front, you couldn't dodge when someone suddenly exited a door on the side. You crushed into them with blunt strength, almost sending you two toppling down.

"Oi! Watch where you're going- Oh, Y/n. Are you okay?"

The voice sounded incredibly familiar, and your gaze focused for a second. Sai, one of Nick's good mates, was staring at you, worry digging down the corners of his mouth.

"Uhm, I- I'm sorry. I have to go." You couldn't stop and risk getting caught again, so you started running, leaving Sai looking at your disappearing form.

You fled outside, already texting your mother. You hid until you saw the familiar form of the family car. Sprinting towards it, you climbed in as fast as you could.

"Well, someone's in a hurry to come home." chuckled your mother as she headed towards the exit. "The party wasn't fun?"

Forehead resting on the cold window, you couldn't say a word. If you were honest, you could barely register what your mother said. All you could feel was his hands on you. His lips on your neck. The phantom sensations gave you the horrible feeling that he was still grabbing you. That you were still trapped up there.

Your mother's touch on your arm brought you back to reality. "Are you okay, darling?" Even the soft touch on your arm was enough to make you shudder. "Y/n, did something happen?"

Your gaze connected with hers for a split second, but you willed the fear in your eyes to disappear. To go back to a dissociated gaze. Allowing nothing to show.

"I don't want to talk about it now," you mumbled while covering the tear in your shirt with your hoodie. You needed to comprehend what had happened before you could say something. Even if you wanted to, the words were stuck in your throat.

Your mother stayed silent for the rest of the ride, although you could feel her gaze on you a few times. You felt like she'd say something until she faced the road again without adding a word.

When you finally pulled into the driveway, you made for the door. You wanted nothing else but to disappear into your room. Your escape was halted when your mom grabbed your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. You winced at the pain it inflicted and the reminder it brought. The look in your eyes was one of undiluted terror.

Her face turned white as a ghost's. "Y/n, I will give you your space for now, but I want you to know and understand that we will discuss this."

Your house was filled with music and happy voices. You could hear through cotton-filled ears someone call your name but didn't stop. When you slipped into your room, you stood in the dark and looked at your wrist. The red mark on it was already turning to a soft purple. A whimper escaped your mouth as you sunk to the floor.

You cried and cried and cried. The adrenaline had left your body, and the walls you had built around you to survive had been torn down. With a hand on your mouth, you tried to maintain your sobs to a minimum volume.

What the actual fuck was all you could manage to think.

Catching a glance of yourself in the mirror hanging on your wall, a wave of disgust ravaged you. In the darkness, like glow-in-the-dark marks, you could see the print of his hands on you, the sloppy marks he left on your neck. You felt disgusting. You needed to wash this off now.

You headed for the bathroom, trying not to attract anyone's attention. You were about to grab the doorknob when the door opened on a surprised Tara.

"Oh my god, Y/n, you scared me! I didn't know you were here," she exclaimed with her usual cheerfulness.

You stayed silent, feeling like you had been caught red-handed. Shame crept on your cheeks.

In a second, she analyzed the state you were in. The tear on the collar of your shirt. Your puffy eyes, your red cheeks. "What happened to you? What happened to your shirt? Are you okay?"

Her sweet concern was all it took for you to tumble into tears again. She helped you back to your room, supporting and hugging you tight. You babbled incoherently about what had happened. You just needed these horrible words to be out of your system. You needed this unbearable reality out of your head, needed the constant litany of words to stop.

Tara listened to your whole story and managed to understand through your sobs. As you finished, out of breath, she convinced you to let her get Nick. You dreaded it at first, so scared to see his reaction, but the once-in-a-while seriousness in Tara's tone managed to persuade you.

You heard her going down the stairs and waited in silence. You held your breath. The house was utterly silent as if it was also holding its breath. Then, it erupted, and all you could hear was someone climbing up the stairs at an alarming pace. Your door opened on a whim, almost digging a hole in your wall with how strongly it went flying back.

Your twin brother was standing on your doorstep, his chest going up and down quickly. He didn't say anything. He just scanned you from head to toe before reaching out his arms. Engulfing you in a tight embrace, he rocked you back and forth.

"Tell me," was all he said, his tone hoarse and hard.

"I was anxious and bored, and this guy asked me to dance. We did, and then he offered to get some water and air. I followed him but felt this grip in my gut. Felt like something was off. He led me to a dark room. I refused to go in and said I had to go, but then he backed me into this wall. Saying stuff about what other people thought about me and about some bet he'd made with his friends. I- I tried escaping Nick, I really did, I promise. I kept my distance, I told him to go away, but he wouldn't. I pushed him and tried to make a run for it, but he grabbed my wrist and started touching me. I managed to defend myself and get away. I ran into someone. I think it was Sai. I stopped for a second but couldn't tell him anything, so I ran again and hid until Mum came to pick me up."

The silence in your room was deafening. His whole being was at a standstill. Nick wasn't known to be a violent person. Quite the opposite, but you felt like that was about to change.

"Show me where he hurt you."

You extended your wrist, the mark gone even darker than before.

"Anywhere else?" he reluctantly asked.

You couldn't, and wouldn't, show him where precisely but managed to wave your hand towards your neck and upper body. Shame once again invaded your cells. His eyes filled with despair and so much rage. He hugged you tight again. "I'm going to kill him."

You whipped your head up. The look in your brother's eyes was one you had never seen before. Immediately, guilt flooded your thoughts.

"Nick, you can't get involved in this. I'm so sorry I got into all this trouble. I don't want it to affect you at school. I shouldn't have followed him. This is my fault."

He looked at you incredulously. As if you had just said the dumbest thing he had ever heard.

"Y/n, you didn't get in trouble. Someone assaulted you. You are not at fault here. Do you understand? Because I really need you to." He tightened his grip on you, his cheek on the crown of your head. "I don't need you to pull some Charlie number on me."

"A Charlie number, uh?" you heard a familiar voice speak up.

Charlie's head peeked from your door. The face of comfort and reassurance. "Can I come in?" You nodded as he made his way to the bed. "Although I'm not sure what exactly he's referring to, I'm pretty sure he's right. You shouldn't feel guilty for something someone did to you, okay? Especially for something like this."

You saw the hint of pain flashing in his eyes and remembered he had experienced something similar.

He reached a hand you immediately grabbed. You had loved Charlie since that first day he came to your house to meet Nellie. There was something about him that always made you feel safe and comfortable. His presence here meant a lot to you. "You okay?"

You still weren't precisely grabbing the heaviness of what had happened. But the support you were shown helped you manage the whirlwind of emotions you were feeling. You nodded feebly.

"What do you want to do?" finally asked Nick. "Can we do anything for you right now?"

You confessed you did not want to be alone tonight. You dreaded being left with your thoughts, scared they would swallow you whole. "I just want to feel safe," you whispered.

The words were like a dagger to Nick and Charlie's hearts. They both felt so guilty about not being there to protect you. What happened tonight brought them back to the beginning of their relationship. When Charlie had been through the same thing you just did. It awakened so many unpleasant and painful memories in their hearts.

"Of course. We can stay with you all night," said Nick with a kind smile, and you knew he meant it.

He offered to watch a movie, knowing that was your thing when you needed comfort. He felt that nothing he could do would help you heal from the experience you just had, but he'd do anything in his power to make you feel better. Your eyes light up at the suggestion, and he couldn't help a loving smile from lighting up his face.

"The gang is still down there. If you want, I can ask them to leave?" suggested Charlie. "Even I can go home if you would rather be alone with your family. That'd be totally understandable."

If you were being honest, you would love for them to stay. The more, the merrier, and Nick's friends were such a cheerful and caring group. You knew they would be supportive. You hesitated, on the edge of saying yes.

Nick felt your hesitation and put a hand atop Charlie and yours. "We can ask everyone to leave if you want to, no problem. But if you feel comfortable and want them here, I know they'd love to."

You finally admitted you'd love for them to stay. Charlie went downstairs to fill them in. Leaving you in the room, still wrapped in your brother's arms. Both of you weren't ready to move just yet.

"If you want them to leave or need anything at any moment, I want you to come straight to me. Is that clear?" You nodded. "And while they set everything up, I have to tell Mum. She's worried sick, and rightfully so."

You nodded once again, knowing she deserved to know. Still, you couldn't help your stomach from twisting in knots at the thought of this thing spreading out.

Always so observant, Nick noticed how scared you looked. "Please, trust me, let me handle this. You don't have to worry about a thing. Just let me deal with it. You can lean on me." You mumbled an 'okay' as he kissed the top of your hair.

An invisible promise to protect you forever.

The gang all split up to help make you feel better. Elle, Tara, and Darcy helped you clean up. You didn't want to be alone. So when you looked anxious to step in the bathroom, they all suggested they'd sit down in there, waiting for you. They were incredibly caring and supportive. Acting like this wasn't out of the blue and odd. You knew Nick and Charlie had filled them in, but none dared to say a thing. Their respect for your privacy and light chatting were both things you were incredibly grateful for. In the meantime, Tao and Isaac prepared the living room for the movie. They went all out and built a fort of pillows and blankets with snacks, ready to welcome you when you were done.

As for Nick and Charlie, they were dealing with the situation. They told everything to your mum and contacted Sai to find out what he'd seen. He immediately admitted seeing you running away from a corridor, shirt torn up, with tears running down your face. He found the guy in question, still catching his breath, and pieced two and two together. He even got him to admit the whole thing. He questioned some guys and even confirmed the horrible rumor of the bet. It had taken everything, and encouragement from Charlie, for Nick to stay put and not rush back there to beat his ass. Even your 'anti-violence' mother kept her mouth shut while Nick uttered threats, each worse than the other. The next day would already be horrible enough for the guy without Nick having to get in trouble had reassured his boyfriend.

Forty-five minutes later, you were all covered in blankets, resting on pillows, cuddled up together. Nick and Charlie were sitting on either side of you. Your brother's arm reached around you and his boyfriend.

The rest of the gang was scattered around the floor and the couch, but you were still all touching. Forming an unbreakable chain of support and love.

You looked around and felt so grateful as you looked at the people present. Nick squeezed your hand with a kind smile, a quick check-up to confirm you were still okay. You cleared your throat, gathering everyone's attention. The movie softly played in the background while you started, "I wanted to thank you for this. You have all been incredible. Thank you for helping me, and I hope you can forgive me for interrupting your end-of-exams party."

"Hush with that. As if we'd ever be mad for something like this." intervened Elle. She put a comforting hand on your shin, her features so open and caring. You couldn't help but give her an answering smile.

"Did you really think we'd resent you for what happened tonight?" inquired Charlie. Once again, a light of understanding sparkled in his blue eyes.

"No, but it's just... This was your thing. Your party, and once again, I'm intruding in and forcing you guys to hang out with me."

"Forcing us?!" cut Tara. "Y/n, I don't think anyone here would feel forced to hang out with you. We like hanging out with you!"

Your eyes shone with surprise and something like relief. They all looked at each other incredulously. Not quite believing that you didn't know how much they liked you. "What?! Did you think we only thought of you as Nick's little sister?"

You turned your head towards a disbelieving Tao. Your shy silence was an answer in itself.

"You have great taste in movies. Plus, you have a lot of knowledge about the cinematic universe. I like hanging out with you because you're the only one in this group with decent expertise of the culture." He added enthusiastically. Pronouncing that last word with his usual mediocre impression of a Scottish accent, he extorted a laugh from your chest.

"And you like to dance, and for some reason, you get Darcy's poor sense of humor," added Tara with a sarcastic roll of her eyes. To which her girlfriend lightly tapped her leg in protest.

"And you're into art, and you're actually the only one in this group who can give me constructive criticism about my work." Your gaze dropped back to Elle, giving an accusatory look at the rest of the group.

"And you're the only one willing to have a book club with me. Don't think I can talk and have actual discussions with this lot about all the books I read," finished Isaac with a shy smile. He was the first in the gang, after Charlie, with whom you felt really close. You squeezed his hand as a silent thanks.

"We're trying to tell you how you mean so much more to us. You're Y/n Nelson. We like hanging out with you because you're a great person with great interests. Not because we have to. Not because you're Nick's sister." explained Charlie. He knew how it felt when you thought people didn't honestly like you. Or when you thought they'd be better off without you. He saw so much of himself inside of you. It made his heart tighten with sadness and love.

You stared at them all, a few tears burning in the corners of your eyes. You coughed, trying to hide the emotion flaring up in you.

"You are part of this group if you want to Y/n." Charlie nudged you with his shoulder as if he had read your thoughts. You lifted hopeful eyes towards him. You felt as if your heart might burst with joy.

"I-"

"I'm not giving you any choice." cut Darcy out of the blue."You are part of the gang. Nothing you can do about it." she declared. As always, her unexpected comment had everyone laughing. You looked at her triumphant face, euphoria spreading in your chest.

You looked at your brother, who was already beaming at you, pride and joy mixed in that sweet expression. The tears in your eyes welled up and, against the better of you, softly dropped on your cheeks.

"Are these tears of joy...?" asked Isaac, speaking for the whole group. You had been through a lot tonight, and they had hoped their intervention would have made you happy. But they questioned if it had been too much, too soon.

You let out a soft chuckle. "Yes."

In a team effort, the whole gang jumped on you. Engulfing your body in an embrace of warmth, love, and laughter, a lot of laughter.

"I'm so sorry for being such a..."

You stopped mid-sentence when you felt a pinch on your arm, only to hear Nick whisper, "From now on, you are also banned from saying the 's' word. So shut it and enjoy." The whole group, including yourself, erupted in laughter.

There would be a lot of hardships coming in the next few days, but knowing you had them all made you feel like maybe, just maybe, you'd be able to weather it.

#ilya writes #nick nelson #nick nelson x twin sister!reader #nick nelson x sibling!reader #nick nelson x reader #paris gang x reader #heartstopper #heartstopper fic #nick nelson fic #nick and charlie #alice oseman #kit connor #joe locke #charlie spring

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sugarpasteltmnt · 1 month

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First of all, I gotta say that I absolutely LOVE your fic. I read the first chapter and just... didn't stop reading lol. It was so compelling and the way you describe emotions and depict Leo's mental state is so good!!!! I can't get enough of it. I love how you write his manic thought process and the way that his thoughts jump around in a very 'word association' type way! (That's super accurate to manic episodes!) I also really like the way that his awareness ebbs and flows and how you are able to indicate that to the reader while also maintaining the narrative. For real, kudos to you, that's a super difficult thing to do and you've pulled it off so well! It's absolutely stunning!

Question (and feel free not to answer if this is a spoiler or if you aren't sure), did Leo age in the Prison Dimension? Cause obviously the five years was FIVE YEARS, he didn't just time skip or anything, and he's definitely five years older mentally (for better or for worse, poor guy) but if the Prison Dimension essentially 'stops' bodily functions like hunger, thirst, exhaustion and.. dying, was his aging paused as well?

I'm low-key dying over the idea of Leo still being a kid physically. Like, the mental image of his brothers coming face-to-face with a visibly teenaged Leo who is more scar tissue than skin, it's just, ugghhgg. It's one thing to know 'oh he was a kid, he shouldn't have had to deal with this. He shouldn't have had to have been in that position, this is all so fucked up' but it's another thing entirely to see it, y'know?

Anyway, again feel free to ignore the question if it's spoiler territory or completely off the mark or if you don't have the spoons to answer. I mainly just wanted to say that I'm obsessed with your fic and it has me completely unhinged (pos). Was literally sobbing at 3AM while reading it. 10/10. Would recommend.

(also how the fuck do you write Leo so scary and threatening and yet also so adorable and charming and 'wet meow-meow stuck in the rain'. I'm frothing at the mouth wtf. The whiplash of being all 'oh no he's gonna kill- oh he's purring now, he's baby' is so fantastic holy shit)

THANK YOU THAT'S SO NICE WAAAAAAH 😭😭😭 i'm so glad people seem to enjoy it because i can always go a little TOO in depth at times and i hope it's never like, too boring or repetitious

and yes, Leo did age!! while the idea of Leo being a time capsule of his teenage self but now so warped is DELICIOUS... I love the idea he aged for several reasons. It was one (or maybe the only) way Leo knew time was passing for him-- which adds to the mental strain of knowing he was stuck there. Forever. And the emotional damage it would inflict on his family because it makes it just more transparent and painful how much time had passed. How long they left Leo there. As well as prove the point that time in the Prison Dimension passed at the same rate as it did on Earth.

Plus, I feel like there's another, dark, angsty edge to it that I couldn't resist. I feel like when the Prison Dimension was made, the primary goal was to trap the Krang for eternity. Whether intentional or not, the Mystic Warriors had practically made a place you could age. Where you can get hungry. Where you can get thirsty. Where you have to face all those painful needs of the body you just can't satisfy... But you just couldn't escape it. Ever.

That might make it a bit TOO dark to think about, but ultimately I just loved the idea of the brothers seeing Leo older like them and knowing that they had left him behind for so long. (toot-toot all aboard the angst train)

but omg i'm so glad you like it 😭 thank you for the ask it was super sweet 🩵

also

My Brother in Christ Pizza Supreme I wish i knew

#TNV asks #TNV Final Chapters Spoilers #both options of Leo staying the same and Leo aging are just So Delicious #insanity driven by feeling like a singular moment is lasting forever-- or knowing that time is passing yet there was no escape #sorry Leo you're just so bully-able LOL #thank you again for the ask!!

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starillusion13 · 3 months

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MINE TO KILL (Teaser)

Pairing: Royal! Yunho x f! reader (ft. Wooyoung)

Genre: Royal, Mature, Enemies to (?), Smut, Angst

W.C: ??? [1.5k (this is only for teaser)]

Warnings: mention of - to kill someone and threats (all the rest warnings will be in the main plot.

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Note: Thanks for reading and reblogging. I appreciate all of your reviews and feel free to text me if you want. Spread love to others, not hate. I love Yunho when he is angry and guys finally I have identified my bias in Ateez I think it’s Yunho😃 dw it will change in my next fic lol

"And you thought I won't notice?"

You flinched to the sudden dark voice from the stairs. The ceiling lights and the lamps had a warm radiant but those lights were still piercing on your skin. As if the hatred inside you was adding to the heat of the lights.

Your piercing eyes reflected the shining light of the light chain decorated on the railings. You gripped the glass tighter in your hand, feeling the anger rising in you to watch him descending the stairs.

He should slip a step and fall from the stairs in front of you. You scoffed mentally.

The boots hit to the marbled stairs slowly, the walk was slow, too slow to let you hear each sound of his boot precisely and clearly.

Your glares directed towards him made his corner of the lip to tug upwards slightly. He watched you intently and noticed your slight fear which you were trying to hide it but still couldn't.

At this point, the grip on the glass could have broke it easily but somehow it didn't break.

Maybe like the hatred inside you was enough to burn him but the slight fear was more powerful to hold it back.

"Why are you here?" You hissed.

He eyed the glass in your grip and walked forward to stand a bit too close to your liking. you were glued to the ground where you were standing. you wanted to run away but still something inside you was forcing you to face it, face him like the royal you are. are you strong enough? maybe not. he is more powerful than you. both in morals and money.

"If I say...for you?" he said and leaned forward to inhale the perfume. he hummed near your ear, "same sweet smell. It always remind me of the night. don't you miss that night of us?"

"Never. why can't you just forget about it?"

he chuckled and stood straight, "oh it's too perfect and interesting to remember. how can I just let that sweet moment slip through my mind. I am carving it on a campus to make it remember even if I have amnesia one day."

you gritted your teeth and raised the glass to throw the wine at him but he was quick to get a hold of your hand and took away the glass from you. you glared at him but he just smirked at you and brought the glass to his lips, maintaining an eye contact with you. you could hear some people passing by the passage through, outside the main door of the hall in the backyard of the palace. you glanced to the direction of the door and hoped someone to enter so that you could escape his grip because your strength was nothing to his.

the voices became distant and the hope inside you died down with the rising of the bubble of the little fear.

"I hope you soon have the amnesia and so that I can kill you by myself." you wiggled your hand under his grip.

he ignored you and asked, "did you drink this yet? did your lips touched the glass?" He swirled the wine in the glass.

"why? will you drink from it now?"

he poked his inner cheek and smirked widely, "oh! I am craving for the lips from that night and if you don't give me the honor to devour them again then I have to do it in this way."

"Yunho, mind your words." you threatened him only to get a loud laugh from him. he threw his head back and amusedly watched his grip on your wrist. the image from that night flashed in front of his eyes. the same way you were whimpering under this hold and begging to him. He could feel something inside him stinging, might be the hatred for you.

"But you loved every words from me when I was choking you." He cocked an eyebrow and smirked.

"Please stop it."

"And if I don't?" He loosened his grip on your wrist and as soon as you stepped backward, he harshly grabbed your arm and pulled you towards him. "Does Wooyoung know about this?"

"About what?" You hissed at him because the grip was leaving red marks on your arm and the rings in his fingers were pressing on your skin.

The touch was filled with hatred or love?

It's visible that it's all about the hate for you.

"About us? The love we shared that night. The way I made you feel good." He leaned to your level to whisper into your ears, his breath hitting your nape and you shivered, "the way I marked you mine. When in the first place you were always his."

"There is nothing called us. That night was a mistake. Don't talk about it again. I don't want Wooyoung to know about it. And I am never yours."

He sipped the wine from your glass and closed his eyes, humming in the taste of the liquid. You watched him in disgust. Gulping down the glass, he noticed your glare.

He paused to stare at the door and when the voice of the person on the other side became distant and he noticed that you were distracted.

He threw the glass across the room and glared at you. You flinched to his sudden action and his grip tightened.

"y/n...y/n...y/n..."

He sang your name and his voice and the name coming out from his mouth sent a shiver down your spine. He noticed your little gulp and harshly turned you around and flushed your back against his chest.

"Y/n and Yunho...isn't our name fit nicely together?" He darkly chuckled in your ears. His one hand grabbing your arm tightly and the other placed on your throat. The hand was caressing the skin around when he suddenly squeezed it.

Your choking sound made him smile widely and in satisfaction he whispered, "it will be so fun to kill you, y/n."

You scoffed, "is that a threat?" and gritted your teeth.

He chuckled amusedly, "why? Does that sound like a compliment?"

He loosened his grip around your throat, you coughed out and took deep breaths but he held you against his body.

"Leave me, Yunho."

"I will only leave you when I will kill you."

He gripped your jaw and made you face him. His glares were strong, his muscles tight against the jaw and neck and the gritted teeth hissing at you.

"Then kill me."

"Y/n. Y/n, where are you?" Wooyoung's voice echoed around the place and you both could hear it. You broke the stare with him and looked towards the door when the door was pushed open.

Yunho changed your position quickly and placed his hand on your cheek and other still holding your arm. Smiling at you and you stared at him in confused silence.

Why is he suddenly acting like this?

Wooyoung entered the hall and found you with Yunho, he smiled at your form who was held by his brother. You both were facing side to him. Yet to notice his approaching steps towards you.

“There you are my love. What are you doing here, y/n? That even with Yunho?” He was smiling all the way and when he reached near you, you pushed Yunho’s hand and hugged Wooyoung, burying your face into his chest.

Wooyoung smiled and patted your head in his embrace and with confusion, he looked at his brother.

“What happened to her?”

Yunho chuckled, “she lost her balance in this dress and her glass fell from her grasp so I was just helping her out.”

Wooyoung nodded and felt your hug tightened around him. You clutched his coat tighter and closed your eyes in anger.

These brothers were always different from each other. Even this day, Wooyoung was in red attire representing his love and passion for you. Whereas Yunho in black attire radiating luxury and power in elegance shooting towards you.

“Are you okay, y/n?”

You nodded to his question and he urged you to stand straight. He told his brother that he would like to leave the place with you to spend some time and his brother nodded. He guided you towards the door and you followed him with your hand entangled with his and looking down. You could feel a stare burning hole on your back but you didn’t look back.

Yunho’s eyes followed till you both exited the door and took a turn. As soon as you were out of his sight, he grabbed his hairs and harshly brushed it back in annoyance.

“I will kill you, y/n.”

He clenched his jaw and glared at the way from where you left with his brother.

“Always remember that you are mine.”

He exhaled heavily and clenched his fist where his knuckled turned white and the palm was almost flushed red with slight edges of the nails digging into his skin.

“Mine to kill.”

T.B.C.

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noellawrites · 1 year

Text

Short Leash - Yandere!Lip Gallagher x reader

requested by @lyssak09 & anonymous

summary: you find out Lip cheated and try to escape, but nothing ever goes as planned.

warnings: captivity, abusive relationship, non-con mentions, restraints

Your eyelid was twitching again. It was beyond uncomfortable and you were exhausted from doing absolutely nothing. All you could do was stare up at the wavy pattern on the ceiling for the fifty-seventh time today as you waited for Lip or one of his siblings to return and let you out of your prison disguised as a bedroom.

Thirty minutes later, loud footsteps pounded through the back door of the Gallagher house. It had to be your asshole boyfriend or one of his batshit insane siblings.

"(Y/n), Mickey and I are home. We're hangin' out downstairs if you'd like to join," Ian called through the door, turning the exterior lock and letting you out of Lip's tiny, unfurnished bedroom.

"Thank god," you huffed, climbing out of the stained bedsheets and slipping out the door in front of Lip's younger brother.

Taking a deep breath, you padded down the side stairs and into the kitchen, tearing into the first bag of chips you saw. Lip wasn't very good about remembering to feed you anything besides beer or cigarettes.

"Jeez, leave some for the rest of us," Mickey laughed. He grabbed a can from the fridge and nudged you gently, not missing your wince.

You thought you covered it well, but you couldn't help the face you'd made when Mickey nudged the same spot Lip had grabbed you and left a bruise the previous night.

"Wait a minute, the hell was that?" Mickey said, glaring and taking a swig from his can.

"Fuck off, Mickey," you rolled your eyes, taking the chips with you into the living room.

"Then what's with these? C'mon, I know abuse when I see it," Mickey said, following you.

Ian stood up, narrowing his eyes at you and crossing his hands over his chest.

"C'mon (y/n), we're friends. And I hear shit, okay? I just didn't want to believe it was true. But we can help you if you just tell us the truth."

"I can't tell you, he'll make it worse just like he always fucking does! He already has all of you keeping tabs on me and trapping me here!" You screamed.

"B-but the lock is for when you sleepwalk--"

"Don't you realize how stupid that sounds? I don't sleepwalk, I never have! Lip just lies so you'll help him keep me here!"

Tears pricked your eyes as your chest rose and fell quickly. Yelling in anger was the most exercise you'd had in months, excluding when Lip would kick and punch you around.

Ian and Mickey exchanged a look, which either meant they thought you were absolutely insane, or they wanted to help you.

"We need to tell you something before Lip gets home from Patsy's," Ian said, taking a step toward you.

"Lip's been fucking that waitress, the brown-haired one with a kid," Mickey blurted. He looked at you with what struck you as pity.

"Sierra?" you sputtered.

All of a sudden, you were hit with the ugly mental image of him fucking her in the alley behind Patsy's, in the back room, probably her apartment too. It made sense as to why he'd been so absent in the recent weeks. Were you not enough, sealed in a dingy room day in and day out, just for him? Did he really need another woman besides you?

It felt like a slap in the face, even more so than the ones he'd regularly inflicted on you. It was betrayal. All those nights you thought he was working late? He was fucking another girl, a free girl, a girl who was a mother and a waitress and an independent fucking human and a girl who was everything you couldn't be.

"I'm sorry, (y/n)," Ian apologized as you sank onto the couch, tears blurring your vision.

"Look, we fucking broke her!" Mickey hissed, gesturing toward you.

"Shh! She'll be fine, let's just give her a minute," Ian responded.

"If you care about me at all, you need to let me out of here," you said, standing up. You took a breath, looking around. There was nothing you needed and barely anything that even belonged to you here. Lip had taken you and left all of your belongings, leaving your family to think you'd simply ran away and started a new life. How wrong they were.

"Here's fifty bucks for a bus ticket. We'll just tell him we forgot to lock the back door and you escaped," Ian promised.

You stepped into a pair of Fiona's sneakers and slipped out the back door. The backyard was illuminated by a lone, dim light. You glanced around. It had been a while since you were last outdoors, but you remembered the L stop wasn't too far. If you could just make it, less than a mile, you could take it to the Greyhound station.

You started quickly down the sidewalk, determined to escape. You could almost deal with being held captive when you thought your captor actually loved you. You thought he really did care for you, but it was all a smoke screen. Lip promised that you'd spend the rest of your lives together. He said it was hard to be without you, that he only hurt you because it was so hard to contain his love for you.

Now, you knew it was all bullshit. He wanted to come back to you but he wanted to fuck around, too. What a dick.

Your teeth chattered as you braved the Chicago night in only a t-shirt and pajama shorts. Still, the chill didn't stop your determination to escape your abusive boyfriend and make your way to literally anywhere but the South Side.

"(y/n), what the hell?" Oh, shit.

Your body felt heavy as you drifted back into consciousness. Your head pounded with pain and the taste of blood was stuck to your tongue.

You were back in Lip's room, this time handcuffed to the bed. Lip sat against the wall, smoking a cigarette.

"You're a fucking idiot," he said once he realized you were awake.

"And you're a cheating dirtbag."

"Not like it matters. You'll never leave again."

"What is your fucking problem? Do you get off on keeping me captive while you go out and fuck anything with two legs?"

"You don't get it. I'm trying to get this shit out of my system before we get married and start a family," Lip spat angrily.

"How could you possibly think I want to marry you or have a family after this shit?" you yelled, pulling at your cuffs to no avail.

"Not like you have a choice," Lip shrugged, taking another drag.

"Lip, please. Aren't you tired of this stupid cycle? You hurt me, I try to leave, you find someone else, your family is confused, you tell me I'm yours, and we just do it all again? C'mon, we both know there's more to life than this," you begged.

"There isn't more for you. You're lucky I even want you. You're damaged fuckin' goods, (y/n)."

"Nice try Lip, but I'm not falling for it. Your family knows what you've done, they'll help me."

"They'll mind their fuckin' business is what they'll do. Now let's get started on that family, huh? Here, I even got you a gag," Lip laughed, standing up and coming towards you with a soiled bandana.

You thrashed and screamed, but no one ever came. No one never would again.

#lip gallagher x reader #lip gallagher imagine #yandere lip gallagher #yandere lip gallagher x reader #dark lip gallagher #shameless x reader #yandere shameless #yandere shameless x reader #dark shamless x reader

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thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 1 year

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Question: why do people refer to Tobias in Megamorphs 4 as a "quasi-voluntary" controller? I don't have access to my copy right now but I don't recall anything that would imply he had any knowledge of what he was joining/cooperated in any way? Did I miss something?

So I call Tobias quasi-voluntary, because I think — from my read of MM4 — that Tobias is about as voluntary as any "voluntary controller" ever gets. Which is not that voluntary. Tobias goes to a Sharing meeting because Jake's there, but pretty soon he gets sucked into the cycle of love-bombing: "When you attend your second meeting of The Sharing they assign you a guide" (MM4). In Tobias's case it's a guy named Bill, a few years older, who spends every meeting praising Tobias, and talking up how the Sharing cured his depression and being a full member changed his life.

Bill waits for Tobias to say "I want to be a full member." And then he asks if Tobias is sure, and Tobias says "Yes." Bill presses all the way to "You trade a little bit of freedom for a lot of belonging" and gets Tobias to agree a third time. When the time comes for the "ceremony" (infestation), Chapman makes Tobias explain why he's joining, and Tobias does. Three more times Chapman asks, and three more times Tobias says, out loud, that he wants what's going to happen next. Chapman explains why they want Tobias's consent: "We only have problems in twenty-one percent of willing members. And there are... fewer incidents of contested control." Tobias withdraws consent when he realizes they're about to put a slug in his brain, but by then it's too late.

Later Tobias says "Most painful of all was the image of myself swallowing everything the Sharing told me. I had walked, willingly, to my own destruction. At the time I'd seen no alternatives." So is Tobias voluntary? Well, is Chapman voluntary? He agrees not to resist in exchange for Melissa not being recruited, and he keeps his end of the bargain (#2). Not only does he not fight back while there's a yeerk in his brain, but there's every possibility he's one of the people allowing the yeerk to slip out of their brain and then quietly walking to go wait in the break room without supervision.

Okay, but surely the taxxons are voluntary. They chose to ally with the yeerks... Only it turns out their options were ally with the yeerks or starve to death (#53), and just because their leaders chose the yeerks doesn't mean individual taxxons were okay with it (Andalite Chronicles).

But then, we all know Taylor is voluntary. Because she gave up her freedom for little old things like... relief from pain. And escape from discrimination. And basic health care that didn't cost her family their life savings (#33). And she could never change her mind, because she got punished by Sub-Visser Fifty-One for misbehaving (#43).

But Mr. Tidwell's definitely voluntary. He chooses to have a yeerk in his brain even after joining the YPM. Only he was so depressed he couldn't take care of himself when he joined (#29), and probably would have literally died without the yeerks.

Hang on, is Tom voluntary? He spontaneously offers to "be quiet" and "never trouble you again" when Temrash 114 starts trying to recruit Jake (#6). We don't know for sure that Tom isn't hanging out in that same break room after the events of #1, in exchange for Jake not being recruited.

So on. We know the Sharing targets people who are unhoused and/or mentally ill, and that the ones with happy, stable home lives (Tom, later Jake) tend to go unconvinced. You have to be vulnerable to end up voluntary, the series shows, so vulnerable that your whole ability to consent is seriously called into question.

#animorphs #yeerks #controllers #voluntary controllers #tobias fangor #emohawk #mm4 #yeerk empire #cult tactics #consent issues #intense indoctrination #heck - maybe alloran's voluntary - he does wait around to be reinfested rather than trying to escape in book 8 #maybe jenny lines is voluntary if the alternative is dying of withdrawal syndrome #maybe visser two was telling the truth in book 41 about having convinced marco to go voluntary #IS EVERYONE BUT EVA SECRETLY VOLUNTARY?#more at 5:00

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collapsedglasshouses · 4 months

Text

An Angel For Noah || Noah Sebastian x OC [Part 10]

DIVIDER ART WORK BY @cafekitsune

PAIRING: Noah Sebastian x Jules [she/her]

MASTERPOST

SUMMARY: Jules and Noah finally face their difficulies, leading to them letting down their guards.

WARNINGS: ANGST, NSFW, MDNI, fingering, unprotected sex (p in v) [does it even count as unprotected, she is a fucking guardian angel idk], even more angst, swearing, mentions of mental health issues, mentions of death, ...

A/N: I cried. A lot. :) Also! I'd like to dedicate this chapter to @crimson-calligraphyx because I accidentally gave Jules' best friend her name in the exact same spelling as her own name! ALSO... this is not proofread... i'm sorry about that ._.

TAGLIST: @trvshdxddy @blackveilomens @crimson-calligraphyx @measuredingold @cncohshit @signs-of-ill-portent @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @ada-clarence @wild-child-7747 @thebadchic @thescarlettvvitch @cookiesupplier

Keep in mind, this takes place in an alternative universe. Even though I write about real people, the way I write them has nothing to do with how they are in real life.

“What am I doing?” Jules asked herself while looking at Noah’s sleeping figure. It’s been three hours since he had finally fallen asleep and Jules felt numb. Her heartbeat took some time to slow down a bit, but her mind was still racing as fast as it gets. She couldn’t get the image of him trying to climb over the balcony railing out of her head. She knew he wasn’t doing well but she didn’t realize it had been that bad. He needed help she couldn’t give him.

Every time she considered a strategy to help him, she couldn't follow through with it. The idea of merely returning to exist in his shadows appeared more impossible than ever. All of her past actions seemed like a lot of bad decisions. The fact that she now also had promised him to talk about the situation and see him again, made her feel even more at unease.

Her gaze remained fixed on Noah, and she felt a wave of nausea. It seemed impossible to get herself out of the situation. She didn’t want to leave him; he needed support, and she was determined to find a way to help him overcome his misery.

TWO WEEKS LATER

When Noah opened the door to his room, a deep sigh escaped him. The bags under his eyes were more pronounced than usual, and he found himself in a state of uncertainty. It had been a while since he last saw Jules. She didn't come to talk to him as she had promised, and although he yearned to resolve things, he understood it might be for the best.

He had phoned his therapist as soon as he woke up and made an appointment for after the tour. After that he went on and did his best. He performed as good as he could and even though the tour had been successful he was more than glad that it had ended.

His therapy session had just ended and now he didn't really know what to do. He was angry with himself that he let his intrusive thoughts get a hold of him back than but when he was being honest with himself he was even more disappointed that Jules didn't show up as she promised.

When he sat down at his desk, his phone suddenly vibrated.

ONE NEW NOTIFICATION FROM SADIE

He hadn't heard from her since that night he almost had a car accident while driving to her.

Sadie: What's up? You wanna meet up?

Noah stared at the message and began to bite the inside of his cheek. It wasn't like he didn't like her or something but since he met Jules, he hadn't thought of Sadie even once.

He sighed before laying down his phone again. This was dumb. He was acting dumb. He had this really nice girl waiting for him and he would have the advantage of getting rid of some stress, but he preferred to sit there and mourn his damn guardian angel. He wasn't even remotely sure what he was hoping to get out of it.

So, he stood up and grabbed his jacket and right as he was about to leave his room, he felt a hand on his shoulder and simultaneously his anger level seemed to explode.

"You can't be serious?" He blurted out and spun around to look at Jules. She looked terrible, if he could even say that. If she would still have been alive, he would have said she hadn't slept in a while.

"Noah-..." - "No! No fucking 'Noah'." - "I-..." - "Shut up, you didn't talk then and now I don't want to hear your excuses!"

He tried to turn around but Jules grabbed both of his shoulders to make him look at her. "You know damn well how difficult this whole thing is" Jules exclaimed and tried to suppress her tears.

"No, Jules. It isn't really difficult to just show up and talk." He answered her, ignoring his desire to touch her.

"You seem to forget who the fuck I am, Noah! I'm not even supposed to be here." She snarled at him.

"Then go." Noah answered coldly before getting out of her grip and storming of. He didn't even stop when he passed Nick who gave him a confused look.

He didn't allow him to think anything until he drove out of the drive way. Screams from the music echoed through his car as he gribbed the steering wheel harder. He couldn't believe this whole fucked up shit was happening as if he didn't already have enough to deal with.

When he left the neighborhood, he suddenly felt at unease and could just roll his eyes. "This isn't working, Jules. I'll still leave."

Nobody answered him. He was furious.

His knuckles slowly began to turn white from his hard grip on the steering wheel as he suddenly let out a frustrated groan and turned around as soon as he saw the last gas station before he would reach Sadie's house.

“Fuck off.” Noah shouted into the darkness. He couldn’t believe how much Jules had him in his grip. The last couple of days he tried his utter best to clear his head, get things sorted out, work on the problems that already consumed his mind, but Jules was the one thing that never left him. He couldn’t escape her, and he hated her for that.

“You need to stop, Jules.” He screamed and still, there was no answer. So, when he re-entered the house and stormed to his room, he was about to trash his room when he saw Jules sitting on his bed, staring at the wall.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He screamed at her, causing her to flinch.

“What are you talking about?” She wanted to know, not even caring to look up at his angered face. She really didn’t know what he was talking about.

“Oh, come on, Jules.” He answered her and started pacing up and down the room. He needed to let go. He needed to get rid of his piled-up frustration.

She slowly stood up from his bed, her eyes following his wandering figure. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t even know what he wanted. But she knew her following spiteful comment didn’t ease the tension. “Enjoyed your trip?”

Noah stopped in his tracks. “You can’t be fucking serious, Jules.” – “Care to explain your psychotic outburst?”

When Noah looked at Jules like that, he didn't realize how exhausted she appeared.

Instead of answered her, he began to shake his head unamused. “You know exactly what you did.” – “You’re insane.” – “OF FUCKING COURSE… I’m talking to my fucking guardian angel who seems to have a great jealousy issue.”

Jules' brow furrowed as she processed what Noah had just yelled at her. His eyes sparkled with a slight hint of madness. A couple of seconds passed, before Jules finally realized what Noah was trying to tell her.

“You think I made you turn around from your booty call?” Jules wanted to know from him.

“I don’t think it, I know it and I need to know why.” Noah answered her and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Jules blinked a couple of seconds and felt a wave of relieve wash over her. “I hate to break it to you, Noah… But I wasn’t even following you.”

Jules looked into Noah’s eyes and saw how confusion washed over him. He wasn’t sure what he should believe anymore. He let out a frustrated sigh before he sat down at the edge of his bed, Jules eyes following him with concern.

"Why didn't you talk to me like you promised?" He asked her after a couple of minutes of silence, his eyes finally meeting hers.

Jules' heart sank at his broken frame. She didn't know what to say. She knew she had been a coward but she just wanted him to forget about her.

"This is all so confusing, Noah. I feel like we always run in circles." She breathed out and sat down next to him. "I think it would be best for me to just go back into your shadows, Noah. I'm making your live even harder than it already is."

Noah, deciding to ignore her statement, turned his upper body to her, "You need to tell me something, Jules."

She looked into his dark brown eyes which sparked with curiosity. Every time she dared to glance at him like that, she felt like she was going to crumble under his gaze. "What is it, Noah?" Her voice was not more than a whisper, both of them scared to ruin the moment like they did so often in the past.

"Did you feel it, too?" He calmly wanted to know and Jules heart rate increased rapidly. He didn’t even have to explain what he exactly meant.

If she felt it too? Of course, she did. Of course, she felt how their hearts aligned the first time their eyes met. Of course, she felt how she wanted nothing but to be close to him. Of course, she felt it too.

But Jules also knew she couldn’t just say that.

Noah's eyes never left hers. He wouldn’t let this go again. He needed to know if he really was going crazy. He noticed how Jules began to pick the skin around her finger nails and decided to step in. He carefully grabbed her hands. Again, there was this wave washing over him, every time he got to touch her.

And of course, she felt it too. But she didn’t know what to do. She knew, if she would talk, there was no way out of this anymore. Even less than before.

Noah, in the mean time, realized what her answer would be, giving her shift in demeanor. But he needed to hear it from her.

"Don’t make this harder than it already is, Noah." Jules whispered, both of them still getting lost in each other’s eyes.

"So, you felt it too." Noah exclaimed, not letting go of the subject.

Jules swallowed hard. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to let Noah go, but when he looked at her like that, their hands still intertwined, she felt like she was about to explode.

"Say it, Jules." Noah demanded, "Say it and I’ll let you go."

Jules' ears were ringing. Her cheeks were burning and the slight tint of Noah’s cheeks gave away, he was feeling the exact same thing.

"You promise?"

Noah nodded.

"I thought, I lost you." Jules than let out, causing Noah to raise his brows while Jules felt her tears coming up. "I-… I thought, you would do it, Noah. I had this gut-wrecking feeling that you would die…"

Noah swallowed hard.

"If that was the feeling Keaton felt when I was hit by that car… I-… I don’t wanna feel that every again… It felt like I was dying again." She explained while tears fell down her cheeks. Noah wanted to wipe them away but he decided against it, fearing he would lose her again.

Jules squeezed his hands harder.

"When I saw you making an appointment with your therapist and doing rather well after I left that night… I just didn’t want to disturb you again." Jules explained, only interrupted by her own cries.

Noah's heart sank. He knew he wasn’t doing well and he did everything he could to change that again but seeing her so broken because of his action made it even worse for him. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her and yet it seemed it was the only thing that brought them together. Hurting each other…

"I'm supposed to help you when you are in trouble. Prevent you from bad things but I feel like I’m the trigger to get you to do bad things and that’s just because I was so dumb to show myself." She rambled on, feeling a sense of relief from finally letting go of her thoughts. Noah's eyes became watery.

"But the biggest mistake was to let you touch me, Noah, because-…" Jules stopped mid-sentence, in hopes she could calm herself down, but nothing helped. The tears were flowing like there was no tomorrow.

"Tell me, Jules." Noah asked with a raspy voice from trying to hold his tears back.

"Because we both know this was the moment there was no going back." Jules whispered and sniffled quietly. Her gaze fell down to their hands, both of them holding each other with such force, as if one of them would explode into the nothingness.

Noah slowly let go of one of her hands and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Than he placed his hand under her chin to make her look at him. This was enough for Jules.

Everything she desperately wanted to keep from him broke out of her.

"I don’t even know if these feelings are real…" Jules let out and stopped in her tracks again. Noah gave her an encouraging look to go on.

"I feel so alive with you… You make me feel alive, Noah." She whispered and stared into his brown eyes.

For a couple of seconds, they just looked at each other, both processing what Jules had just said. And than… Noah broke.

"You're someone worth staying alive for, Jules."

Jules blinked for a second, trying to fight the urge of getting closer to Noah, but Noah took the decision from her when he mumbled "Fuck it..." and not even a second later grabbed Jules face and let their lips connect.

As their lips met, the scent of his cologne enveloped Jules, making her head spin with desire. Noah felt exactly the same. The warmth of her kiss spread through him like a comforting blanket on a chilly night.

For a second, both of them forgot how fucked up their situation was. They just pretended they were two adults, connect by fate. It was a bittersweet exchange, a mixture of longing and fulfillment that lingered in the air.

Their bodies gravitated toward each other, closing the distance as if pulled by an invisible force. Soon, Jules was being pulled onto Noah's lap and let her arms fall around his neck, while he grabbing onto her waist as if she would vanish any second.

Nothing even compared to the sensation Jules felt in that moment. Noah was the only thing on her mind and nothing was going to stop that. It felt like she only existed for this exact moment. To be close to him, to be held by him. All of his was new for her but she felt this deep need to get even closer to him.

For Noah, it felt like he had eaten the forbidden fruit. He had been in situations like this before but nothing in the world was able to compete with the feelings that washed over him, while his lips collided with Jules'.

When they finally pulled away, the air between them crackled with a newfound energy, the unspoken promise of what was to come. Their eyes met, a silent conversation passing between them, unlocking emotions that had long been hidden.

Jules' lips were red and puffy, while Noah's hair was even wilder then it had been just a couple of minutes ago.

Moments of silence passed between them, both getting lost in each others eyes.

Right as Noah was about to break this silence, Jules became bold. She closed their distance again, not being able to stand even a slight loss of contact with Noah. She felt her heart beating so fast that she was convinced for a second that she was in fact still alive.

She tried to push her thoughts of the future away as Noah's hands slipped under the plain shirt she wore. Jules shivered under his touch.

Even though Jules had no idea what she was doing, she let her feelings get a hold of her and began kissing down Noah's tattooed neck. She felt like she was going to explode when she heard his heavy breaths. Her hand grabbed the base of his hair without a second thought when Noah suddenly thrusted his hips up.

Jules moaned out in a mix of confusion and arousal. She couldn't believe this was really happening. She never made anyone feel the way Noah felt right now.

Noah pushed her slightly against him when she lifted her head again to look into his love drunk eyes.

"Are you okay?" Noah mumbled out, waiting for Jules' consent to the situation.

Jules looked at him for a short second before nodding frantically. She needed more. She needed Noah.

When she tried to kiss him again, he slightly backed away, a smirk on his face. "Use your words, Jules."

"I'm-..." Jules struggled to get out, "I'm more than okay, Noah."

Their lips connected again in a heated kiss and seemingly everything went fast, just like their whole relationship.

They helped each other out of their shirts, before Noah turned them around, hovering over the angel in front of him. He tried not to think about the fact that he was in fact making out with a somewhat ghost.

Jules was real to him. Jules was everything he needed right now.

He planted some soft kisses on her skin and felt how his lips began to prickle. This felt so unreal to him.

"You look so fucking beautiful." He breathed out while letting his hands run over her upper body. Jules felt goose bumps forming all over her skin. She couldn't quite comprehend how she was the angel in their position when every single touch of his felt so godlike.

“I-… I feel like I need more.” Jules said quietly even though it came out more like a desperate plea.

Noah’s hand traveled up to her breast slowly, pinching her hardened nipple for a short second. He didn’t miss how Jules thrusted herself against his thigh for a short second.

“Does it feel good?” Noah breathed out with a faint smile on his face before kissing Jules’ cheek.

Even though Jules had little to no experience, she noticed how he tried to tease her, but she wasn’t able to mock him back. She needed him so bad.

Jules whined out Noah’s name. “It feels so good.”

Noah kissed her deeply, quickly involving his tongue to get a taste of her. Jules couldn’t help but moan into his kiss loudly. Noah loved it, getting addicted to every precious noise he brought out of Jules. Just when Noah brought his knee between her legs, Jules swore she was about to die again. She couldn’t believe this whole thing was even better than she read in her little novels back when she was living in her small flat. Although their kisses slowed down a bit, their actions didn’t.

Jules shyly let her hand travel down Noah’s body, finding its way on his hardness. Noah felt like he was going to explode.

“God. Where did you learn that?” He moaned out in surprise, still not quite processing what was happening while Jules’ moves let him sink deeper into his delusion.

“You know? Reading books can help.” Jules smiled into the kiss, noticing how she got even wetter at his exclaim.

Her hand gripped him harder.

Noah let out a deep moan as he kissed down her neck and moved the hand that was previously placed on her breast down her stomach. Shortly they found their place on her clothed core. It didn’t take him long to push through the waistband of her shorts and she started to lightly massage her clit.

“Holy.” She moaned into his mouth while arching her back.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” Noah whined out, causing Jules to giggle.

“And here I thought I was a reason to stay alive for.” She whispered out with a smile, causing Noah to tease her wet entrance with his fingers before going back to her clit again. Noah smiled at her aroused expression.

“You’re going to be the death of my piece and mind.” He corrected himself, before Jules let go of his hardness to help him get her out of her last pieces of clothing.

Looking at his angel in all her glory was mind blowing to Noah. He was sure he felt his cock twitch in excitement when he looked at her beauty. It felt like she was glowing, and Noah just craved her taste even more.

But he wanted to take it slow. He didn’t know if this was the last time. He didn’t know if they were going back to their weird state of knowing about each other but ignoring their connection at the same time. He would do everything in his power to burn these images in both of their heads.

He circled her clit faster and faster as he leaned forward to kiss Jules deeply. He swallowed every moan of her as he felt himself get more and more aroused.

Then, for a moment, he stopped and looked the girl under him in the eyes, asking for silent consent. Jules slightly nodded; her mind clouded with the man in front of her.

“Please.” Jules groaned as she felt his fingers sink into her deeper and deeper.

“You’re so tight, I can barely fit my fingers in.” Noah teased the girl as he, again, kissed her neck.

Jules gripped Noah’s hair tightly as she pushed herself down on his hand. It was a brand-new sensation for her. It wasn’t like she hadn’t touched herself during her lifetime, but feeling Noah’s fingers inside of her felt like she was meant to be his.

Noah quickened his pace, while his other hand found it’s way to her cheek, caressing it with softness. Her moans echoed through the room, and he wanted nothing more but to record them and play them over and over as if it was his favorite song.

Jules leaned forward to catch Noah’s lips again. Jules didn’t know what had come over her but everything just felt so good and right.

“Fuck, you are perfect.” Noah muttered into the kiss. “Please… Please come for me. You can do it.”

And Jules did. The words and moans that come out of her mouth nearly made Noah come on the spot. She barely had the strength anymore to tell him how good he made her feel while she began shaking in pleasure. All she could do was running her fingernails over his bare back.

For a couple of seconds, Jules just whimpered in ecstasy.

“Your voice is my favorite sound.” Noah whispered and peppered kisses on her cheek as she came down from her high.

All Jules could do was capture Noah’s lips in another kiss, showing her gratefulness to share this moment with him. The kiss became deeper as she wrapped her arms around him, catching him in a firm embrace. She couldn’t let go of him.

Noah let it happen. He also slung his arms around her as if life depended on it. But hugging each other seemingly didn’t do enough anymore.

“Again…” Jules mumbled into his shoulder, causing Noah to widen his eyes. “I need you.”

“Shit… You really want to?” Noah asked, making sure he wasn’t dreaming right now. He lifted his body up slightly, to look her in the eyes.

“I need to feel you, Noah.” Jules whined and left the man over her speechless.

Fuck.

Noah needed to calm himself down. He was already so close to letting go of himself, when he simple looked at his angel. Even now, with the remains of their shared moment hanging in the air, he wondered how it would feel to be inside of her. That’s when he allowed himself to think about the fact that Jules was in fact not a person wandering this earth. He was kind of sleeping with a ghost… Or going insane… Probably both.

“We don’t need t-…” – “I want to, Noah.”

Noah let out a deep breath, nearly unable to ignore his own lust. Jules noticed the conflict going on in his head and quickly came to his rescue. She captured him in a sweet and soft kiss.

“I promise. I want this.” She muttered against his lips. “I want to be close to you. Do you want to?”

Noah nearly crumbled because of her words. Of course, he wanted her. So badly.

Noah swallowed hardly before deciding to let go. He quickly got out of his clothes, giving Jules almost no time to look at his beauty, before coming back to her, kissing her with such force, she nearly moaned again.

He placed himself between her open legs, thrusting his hardness against her pussy a few times, while analyzing her reaction with great interest. Jules took in every second she had with Noah. She was willing to do nothing else for the rest of her weird existence.

If Jules hadn’t already corrupted every little space of Noah’s thoughts, she would have done it now. Everything he could feel, taste, sense… It was Jules. Everything was Jules.

Jules shyly reached down to grab his erection and ran her hands up and down for a couple of times. Noah meanwhile began to shake under her touch. “It feels so good.”

His words hypnotized Jules as she circled her hand over his tip and stroked it a few more times. She would have never thought everything would lead to this moment. Jules felt her heat throb before moving her hips slightly upwards to guide his hardness into her.

Just the tip sinking into her, made both of them moan out. For a moment, Noah stayed still as he watched the woman move her hips even more to give him better entrance. Inch by inch, his cock sank into her, their breaths and whines echoing through the room as he stretched her out.

Noah begged this wasn’t just a dream. It felt more real than anything ever before.

“You’re taking me so well, angel.” He breathed out before placing a small kiss on her lips.

“You feel so good.” Jules answered him and looked into his eyes lovingly.

With that he finally thrusted into her. Everything aligned in that moment. All the moments they shared, all the fights, all the difficulties, all the feelings. Everything felt like it happened to bring them to this moment. It was as if they were the only to individuals existing in that moment. Sweet words were whispered into the heavy air of the room as the both of them gave each other exactly what they craved. Each other.

“Keep going. Noah. You feel so good.” Jules whisper shouted.

“God…” Noah moaned. “I love this so much.”

His pace became faster.

Without even thinking, Jules let out her next words. “I wanna feel your cum.”

Noah’s whole body prickled at her words. He couldn’t form words anymore, everything was hazed with the emotions he felt for her. He loved her. He loved being with her. He craved her.

Jules moved to meet his thrusts. Noah bit his lip. “You’re taking me so well.”

Jules kissed him again, feeling like she had never felt more emotions at the same time in her life.

“That’s it. Let go, Jules.” Noah grunted, making sure to give Jules her time. He was hitting all the perfect spots.

His thrusts became harder, while he captured her hands above her head, getting even better excess. They moaned in sync. It was their final straw.

They both came with a loud moan, his cum spilling inside of her with each thrust. For a few moments, their heavy breaths were the only thing that filled the room. Both coming down from their highs with a few kisses, all filled with the silent confessions of love.

When Noah caught his breath again, he kissed Jules again. “You are so fucking beautiful.”

“So are you.” Jules answered him with a sweet smile while she gazed over his face. He was in fact so beautiful. From his dark brown eyes that held so many secrets, to the small freckles plastered over his face.

Slowly, Noah let himself fall into his bed, cuddling into her side immediately.

Jules, meanwhile, stared at the ceiling of Noah’s room, while her thoughts began to flow her brain. This actually happened. She, an individual dangling between life and death, had sex with the person she was supposed to guard. But he wasn’t just any person. He was Noah. Her Noah.

It took the two a couple of minutes, maybe an hour to finally speak up again.

“You don’t even know how much you mean to me.” Noah whispered out and brushed a strand of her out of her face. His anxiety had also caught up to him, but he tried to ignore it for a second longer while laying there.

Jules bit her lip. Her heart skipped a beat at his words, even though she tried to function normally again. “I can’t even describe what you mean to me.”

She turned to look into his eyes. She quickly noticed they both knew what was eventually going to happen now.

“One night.” Noah whispered in a pleading tone. “One night, where we don’t think about it.”

Jules swallowed hard. She knew it was going to end rather soon than late. She didn’t want it to but she knew it had to go this way. So, she nodded.

“One night.”

With that she leaned forward and kissed him again. She kissed him with such force, he wouldn’t have any chance to miss what she was trying to say.

After that, they got even closer to each other, letting each other embrace the love they shared for a moment…

One night…

PART ELEVEN

#bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fanfic #noah sebastian x reader #bad omens fic #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian fanfiction #bad omens rpf #noah sebastian fanfic #collapsedglasshouseswrites

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gatitties · 11 months

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Angst!

Headcanon or Scenario for Young!Whitebeard Crew and Old!Whitebeard Crew (separately)

if you can, something inspired by the manga Oyasumi Punpun, like YN with the personality and life of the protagonist

YN (fem) wants to run away with YN best friend to a distant island where they would never suffer again ( insert the sufferings) , but YN's friend ends up dying ( unfortunately couldn't stand the pressure of life itself) and YN is left alone until Whitebeard arrives on the island (I tried not to spoiler the manga, however sad as the manga is, I recommend it, so I wrote something very similar)ages vary between 13 and 14 years old in Young!Whiteboard crew and 17 and 18 in Old!Whitebeard crew, and they deal with YN's various traumas and her short-spoken personality

Whiteboard adopts YN with a lot of love and care, saving YN and giving a comfortable life full of love, being someone very special in the crew for her personality, however difficult, when YN feels at home, is a person who likes to be around and with the crew, however much she is a quiet person

YN suffers from her mental disorders that were not accompanied by a psychiatrist, dealing with them every day with difficulty -( depression and image dissociation for example)

And some images of the protagonist out of context

sorry if it got too depressed ( and very long), do it if you want!

─Young!Whitebeard Pirates & old!Whitebeard Pirates x fem!reader

─Summary: You are not going through your best moment in life but apparently there are people who fight for your well-being

─Warnings: mention of mental illnesses, suicide, self harm

this has taken so long, sorry about that but here it is! I heard about that manga, but I have many others on the list that I want to read 😩

─ Everything seemed to be going great in your life once all those situations experienced on your home island seemed to go away while you escaped from that hellish place.

─ Your family, neighbors, inhabitants in general had screwed you so much that you could have lost your mind at some point during the entire stay, thank God, your best friend accompanied you and supported you in every step you took.

─ They saved you from your own madness and kept you sane most of the time, you were both happy once you started from the bottom on another island, without resources, but with more will to live than ever.

─ Unfortunately, happiness is something ephemeral and you verified it once your friend passed away just a few weeks after experiencing all the previous misfortunes. This only made you fall deeper into your addle mind.

─ You lost all hope of life, you tried to end yourself on multiple occasions but you ended up giving up or something interrupted you, but today you decided to take the plunge, maybe your friend is waiting for you in the afterlife, maybe they misses you… you wanted to see them again and end all this.

Young!whitebeards crew

─An alarmed young crew almost contemplated your death, upset for you, relief for them, Marco saved you before your body fell off a cliff.

─ The fact that you looked just as young as them was Whitebeard's main reason for wanting you on board, he didn't care if you didn't know how to fight or even if you weren't able to fend for yourself, they were a family for something.

─ They had to deal with many of your injuries, they were all afraid to do or say something that could affect you in the slightest because thanks to your twisted mind, things could hurt you more than they thought.

─ They will walk with baby steps with you, they don't want to stress you if many of them try to help you with a problem or pressure you to express your feelings so openly.

─ Probably the least careful is Ace, he's still a young brat after all, but his nonchalance will change once he sees that you harm yourself just because of some bad thoughts you had.

─ Izo is the one who usually keeps you sane when you start to lose your temper and let the voices that haunt you inside your head get out of control, he will manage to calm them down somehow.

─ An inexperienced cook Thatch will try to communicate more with you thanks to the food and the excuse that he needs a helper, your calm personality is what he needs to focus on cooking without a noisy Ace that asks to be fed every hour.

Old!Whitebeard crew

─ Despite having more experience in some things, they didn't expect to see someone try to commit suicide in front of them, Ace was the one who was able to disarm you before you could finish everything.

─ They will be much more direct when facing your problems, Whitebeard can't just watch you fade little by little so he won't hesitate to confront you directly.

─ Marco will help you by controlling your medications, with a little more knowledge than his young him, he will know which pills he should use.

─ Izo will become a safe place to go to, from minute zero he went to you to know that if you were fighting against some pessimistic thoughts he could help you with that.

─ Thatch wants you to try all the new dishes he just perfected, he wants you to feel at home, so he will work twice as hard if you tell him your favorite dish.

─ In general, everyone knows when they should intervene when you are walking on the thin rope of sanity, despite having managed to calm you down and give you some hope, your head can always betray you from time to time.

─ They will not be as indecisive with their decisions towards you as they would have been in the past when they were young, they will take the step to get closer to you and break the walls that surround your damaged heart, they do not care about the past that you have lived, now you just have to live in the present with them.

#one piece #op #one piece x reader #fem reader #whitebeard pirates x reader #whitebeard pirates #whitebeard crew #request #reader insert #x reader #angst #or so I tried...#headcannons

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camcanime · 6 months

Text

I had the craziest angst dream last night

It was based on an RP my bestie and I had been working on but, man, my brain knows how to toy with my feelings. Words cannot express how I felt after having this dream, my heart was racing. (Will do this in the form of x reader coz damn)

That day was a tragedy, a devastation to yourself and everyone who knew you. No one could have foreseen such a thing and, yet, a heavy blame was taken upon the two men who had cared for you most. You were all fresh into beginning your careers as heroes, barely a year out of graduation, and it didn't last long for you. Somehow, a group of especially dangerous villains had managed to get the jump on you. They beat you to a pulp and took you into capture, falling out of the radar and becoming completely invisible to anyone who may have had a chance to save you.

You were held in captivity for almost two years. Two years. They tormented and verbally degraded you to no end. To say it was torture was an understatement. You may as well have been crucified and left to hang amongst the vultures awaiting the sweet, bitter end to life. Unfortunately, these monsters were not merciful creatures. At first, they attempted to coax information out of you, seeing if they could unlock all of the inner workings of the pro heroes and utilise this for their nefarious deeds. When it became clear that you weren't so easily broken, they decided that you would make a decent venting dolly. You sought to escape once.

"That was a big mistake... hero."

Due to your weakened state, they quite easily recaptured you and they were not happy. They could have just killed you. Part of you wishes they did. No. Instead, they opted for a more fitting punishment: they took away your quirk. More ridicule and abuse is all that followed, is all you had to keep your wavering sanity occupied.

You felt close to your end.

An eventual rescue tore you away from your imprisonment but at what cost? You couldn't even discern the reality from a nightmare at that point. Your saviours, some heroes on the other side of the country, made sure that you were immediately admitted to a hospital. The physical wounds were in need of major attention but the mental scars ran so much deeper.

It probably would have been easy enough to call all of your friends, to ask for help from a familiar face, but a chain would heavy your hand any time you'd reach for the phone. You couldn't even bring yourself to call your two favourite boys.

With months of gruelling therapy out of the way, you now have a home - a new home - that you can call yours and a typical civilian job to keep the money coming in. You may be somewhat established back into society but you are merely a shell of what once was, a sauntering after image of the person you used to be. It had taken countless sessions just to counter your agoraphobia but a slithery vine is quick to entangle your spine any time you choose to leave your home. The darned thing clenches and digs its thorns in, threatening to jolt your head into a spasm but you always fight the urge.

That day wasn't much different. To begin with, at least.

After your usual mental prepping and throwing your cap on, you take the leap of faith from your doorstep and trudge along for your weekly grocery run. All in all, it seemed it was going to be fairly standard; weave in and out of people, make no eye contact, get the goods, and go home. It wasn't like it was late on your way back either but, with the winter season, that night was soon rolling in. You notice another set of footsteps trailing behind you, which certainly isn't helping. It could just be that pesky paranoia settling in but this person has been hot on your tail for a few minutes now. Still having some streets to go, you curse your blunder in not choosing a location more in-city. In an attempt to get home faster without displaying your fear, you ever so slightly pick up the pace. The individual appears to do the same and you are ready to run. The muscles in your calves tighten in anticipation of a quick escape.

That's when it happened: a chance encounter that reduced you to tears.

"Hey!" an all-too-familiar voice beckons from behind you.

Anxiety prickles your skin for different reasons than before. There's no way it's him. Surely not.

Oh, but it is.

The great hero Dynamight had been making his rounds in the city, keeping an astute eye out for anything amiss but also for you. It may seem outlandish for him to still be looking for you after almost three years but this is Bakugo. He's not one to give up. That's probably why he's grown more calloused in this time. He hasn’t been able to heal. To move on. The night still haunts him though he never lets that show. His cold heart had grown even heavier and colder since that day. He barely says a word - more so than usual. The man eats at himself over the whole situation. What could he have done differently? Is there actually anything he could have actually done? If he can’t even save a comrade, a person he cares so deeply about, is he even worthy of the title of hero? Perhaps that is another driving force to keep searching for you. It may seem crazy but at least he hasn't lost his hope. Not like they did. How could they all just assume you dead like that? How could they give up on a friend? A fellow pro hero? Not him. Not ever and nor Kirishima. That redhead, as much of an idiot as he may be, is the only one who stuck by Bakugo's headstrong tenacity over the years. He shakes the thoughts from his head for about the umpteenth time just that day alone.

It seemed as though it would be another afternoon of quiet. One might say that's a nice change of pace but some individuals like to be kept busy. Bakugo stopped for one of his annoying fans when he caught a flash from the corner of his eye. It almost looked like... no. It couldn't be. Wait... is it? His gaze has never once failed him before. The calls of the young boy were lost to him, his feet moved without his consent. He'd recognise that stupid hat anywhere. It wasn't even a matter of questioning the legitimacy before he was practically tailgating the unsuspecting individual. It didn't take long until it was just the two of them walking along the darkening street. His heart hasn’t beat this hard since that terrible day. He shakes his head, almost grows angry. What if it is you? What will he do? A deep breath. Just keep focusing on the task at hand - one that seems to be slipping from him the longer this cat-and-mouse chase drags out. His tracks aren't exactly subtle given how the freshly falling snow crunches and groans beneath his weight. The speed picks up and he knows he has to say something before his "prey" runs off. He has opened and closed his mouth several times to speak up to her but he backs out every time. Goddamnit Bakugo just say something. He growls to himself and closes his eyes. His fists clench beneath his gauntlets. He can’t believe he is about to do this. He must be crazy.

Finally, somehow managing to find his own voice, he calls out. "Hey!"

He didn't know what else to say. He didn't want to call out that name in case his assumption was wrong. The figure stops and slowly turns around to face him. Bakugo stares a moment longer before slowly walking over to get a closer look. His heart punches against his ribcage when he's no more than a meter in front of that familiar face. There have been some changes, of course, but he would recognise those eyes anywhere - your eyes. He looks back and forth between them before letting out a deep sigh and shaking his head. He closes his eyes and rests a hand on her shoulder, an action that is hesitant but proves the reality of your existence at this moment. All he can do is keep his eyes closed as everything tries to catch up to him. Eventually, he takes in a deep sigh and slowly looks up at you. His expression holds a mixture of sad and relived and some exhaustion like he just got done with a war.

"How long, (Y/n)?"

At first, you haven't a clue what he's talking about until it hits you like a steel pipe to the cheek. You had gotten so caught up in the situation, Katsuki Bakugo slowly trailing towards you with an unease you had never witnessed in him before. Not like this. A million and one thoughts spurry around your head but, at the same time, you are also completely blank. Crimson eyes pierce right into your soul, attempting to coerce your tongue for the words but still nothing. You can't help the nausea in your stomach when it dawns on you just how mad he may get. You already envision the blade of his teeth slicing through you.

"They... I was discharged from a hospital in Hachinohe almost... almost four months ago."

It all comes down on him like a sack of bricks. Understandably, he is pissed - unequivocally burning in damnation of the truth that you are alive and have been roaming the streets for so many months and against his knowledge no less. It doesn't matter if he had been in the middle of a battle; he would have been there for you in a heartbeat. Growing more painful, he rubs at the migraine pounding against his temples. He wipes his forehead as if making up for the fact that there are no tears to dry. He doesn't know how to cry right now. The pressure and strain amidst his palms shake his nerves to no end.

"And you didn't call?!" he screams over his crackling throat. "I would have come for you! We would have come for you!"

How could you call? You were so sure that everyone was better off without you, that you weren't needed in their lives. By the time you had been freed, everyone had become more well-established heroes in society. They don't need you. They moved on. That's how you thought of it, at least. Your attempted explanation of this only angers him further but he breathes past the frustration when he realises how worked up you're getting. What happened to you for you to think such awful things?

"I'm not sure where you got this narrative of not being needed," he sighs and looks away. "Do you have any idea what it has been like without you, dumbass?"

The old nickname slips off his tongue so naturally. He'd always call everyone an idiot, stupid, nerd ironically enough, but dumbass? That was reserved for you and for you only, so for it to be said - to be heard - after two years breaks you.

It had been quite a sight, watching you crumble down to the snow-covered floor. He had knelt down, waiting for you to calm down enough to form coherent sentences again. As cohesive as you could against the waves of rainfall spilling from your face, anyway. When things had eventually calmed, he took you back to your apartment and gave you the chance to speak. You managed to tell him little about what you had been through. Each sentence dwindled beneath the weighing sickness that bubbled in your throat any time you tried to get into detail. One thing really stood out to Bakugo, however. He envisioned the mass murder of those bastards for having done this to you, for rendering you quirkless and making you believe such self-deprecating lies.

That was two days ago. Bakugo insisted on you staying around his just to keep an eye on you. You know better than to refuse his help and it's for his own piece of mind as well as yours. He even took the liberty of calling off work for the rest of the week just to make sure you're okay. He never does that, which is probably why a certain redhead is standing at his door, wide-eyed, gawking at you. Once he had caught wind of Bakugo's absence at the agency, he raced over to make sure everything was okay. He could have never anticipated seeing you. The two of you stare at one another, unable to say anything. You take a stand and open your mouth to say something, anything, but the wind is pushed from your lungs when Kirishima gulps you up into his arms. He cries. God, this man cries and sobs with no yield as he just holds you. Restraints don't appear to exist anymore and you spill again, clutching onto him with unceremonious content. He doesn't ask any questions and just weeps into your shoulder, fearing the worst if he were to let go.

Everyone else had assumed you were dead. Why wouldn't they? After two, almost three, years, why would you believe a person to still be alive? Not them. They kept looking, searching, and scouring every last mineral in this damn country to try and find you. Now they have you back in their lives? They swear by All-Might that you will be waited on, pampered, loved, and cared for until they see the remnants of your old self again. It will take time but they waited this long for you, right?

No time in the world is more worth it.

It's probably worth mentioning that I could very clearly hear the chorus to Childish Gambino's song 'Heartbeat' when Kirishima went in for the hug and now it's stuck in my head.

I should also probably work more on WSA but I think I need to do a few one-shots just to get me back in the groove. I hope you enjoyed and sorry if it feels a bit rushed in some areas :')

Did I proof read it? Unfortunately not.

#x reader #kiribaku x reader #bakukiri x reader #bakugou x reader #kirishima x reader #angst #angst with a happy ending #fanfiction #mha #bnha

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