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#i cant do typical romance it always feels so wrong to me
swanpit · 1 year
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Who do you suppose would be the most jealous and/or insecure one in the relationship: Death, Puss, or Kitty? If any of them?
would it be weird to say that maybe none? none like how the "usual romance" handle it because god that's really been done to death (no pun intended) if there's insecurity, at least in this post movie context (since puss and death has sorta clear things up a bit in the movie and the character development already happened, after that they probably wont face or have quite the same problem, obviously), if it can count as one maybe there's some moment where puss can try a bit too hard sometimes? the rest probably is easier to explain when i got there but they definitely gonna have to adjust to each other....so yeah tldr probably puss, but not in the way you'd think (at least his would be the most visible)
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lovurg · 7 months
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౨ৎ purely platonic — m. wheeler
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𝐼. pairing/s: mike wheeler x gn!reader
𝐼𝐼. summary: after confessing your feelings to mike, he began avoiding you, leaving you in a state of confusion and heartache. you spent your days pondering over the past, trying to understand what had gone wrong and desperately attempting to forget about the whole situation.
𝐼𝐼𝐼. warnings: mike being an asshole, and miscommunication.
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wouldn't you love to understand what he was truly feeling?
it has been weeks since you confessed and he was full on avoiding you and you were slowly getting tired of it. tired of all the “i need to think about it” yes you understood that of course, god how couldn’t you? you know the feeling but him ignoring you afterwards was just so plainly irritating and you wanted to curl up and die.
“he’s clearly avoiding you. he’s such an idiot, and, it’s not you, okay? he’s just a big pussy who can’t handle his feelings, he’s liked you since you were like what? five years old? lucas told me all about it and look. if he can’t figure out his feelings or if he cant talk to you about it then fuck him.” max said, holding you close as you teared up on her shoulder. it was complicated, and you kept telling yourself to stop crying over some stupid guy.
the same stupid guy you've liked ever since you found out your hair grew from your scalp not your ends.
now, you were stuck in a whirlwind of side glances and an inability to concentrate whenever he was around. he looked so happy, like he forgot everything that happened. and while he was having the time of his life, you were wallowing away in the corner of your room looking at meaningless platonic polaroid photos.
meaningless fucking polaroid pictures – they weren’t meaningless, no, not to you. the polaroid showed mike kissing your temple while you smiled brightly. both of you were covered in paint, you were painting dustin’s garage in this. a few weeks before you confessed.
was he leading me on? you thought, because friends don't typically kiss each other like that. not when one friend despises romance and the other is selectively kind, only to you. he held your hand, hugged you endlessly, and you almost fucking kissed on your birthday. none of that felt purely platonic.
you shouldn’t have ever confessed. everything would’ve gone like normal. and maybe you would never know what he felt about you but he did everything a boyfriend would do. and you just couldn't handle it. you thought you were strong, strong enough to resist the urge to confess, but here you were.
the next morning unfolded like any other. mike was hanging out with his friends, and max had chosen to spend the day with you, which made it pass relatively quickly. on your way home, you decided to stop by a spot that had been a special place for you and mike.
it used to be just the two of you, sharing moments and gazing at the view. the forest had always scared you, but with him, it felt safe. now, you were sitting there alone, lost in your thoughts.
suddenly, a twig snapped, and you turned your head to see mike. his eyes widened, and he offered an awkward smile.
"what are you doing here?" you asked, your disappointment and frustration evident in your voice. "here to reject me? go ahead, be my guest."
mike hesitated for a moment before speaking, "no, i actually, uh… i wanted to apologize. for everything, and yeah. i'm genuinely so sorry and…" you interrupted, "did max and dustin force you into this? you were never one for apologies. it's fine." you put on an awkward smile to ease the tension.
but mike called out your name, "let me finish. please. you hate being interrupted, so stop interrupting me."
you rolled your eyes but nodded, "okay, fine. go ahead. speak."
"i like you—no, i love you too," mike confessed, his words tumbling out with a mix of relief and vulnerability. "god, i was just being a damn coward about it because i didn't want to face you. how could you ever love someone like me? you're popular, you're amazing, you're so smart, and you use big words i can't even understand, and that's what i admire so much about you. jesus christ," he said your name, "i love you so much, you have absolutely no idea how much i just want to kiss you right now—"
before he could finish his sentence, you couldn't contain your feelings any longer. you rushed over to him, grabbed his face, and kissed him passionately. his arms wrapped around your waist, and your arms snaked up over his neck, pulling him even closer.
mike, slightly breathless but with a warm smile, managed to say, "that was… really nice, amazing. but my speech isn't done yet." both of you chuckled, and you urged him to continue, saying, "okay."
"when you said my bike was a little spruce, you were right," mike continued, his voice filled with sincerity. "you're always right. my tire had a hole, and when you helped me study for my biology test, i got a good score, even though ninety percent of it was just admiring you. but still, you get my point. you're too good for me. i don't deserve you."
you laughed softly and retorted, "fuck you, wheeler," while pecking his lips once more before wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug. "don't avoid me next time."
mike replied, "promise."
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author's note: this is my first piece of fiction here, and it's quite short, but i hope you enjoyed it. please consider reblogging or liking it if you did! lots of love.
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beetlebug-bii · 1 year
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can you maybe also do Mammon with nightmares Bug?
Authors Note: absolutely starling! I hope you're ready for more silly writing!
Content Warnings: Cussing, Mammon Mammoning
Requests Open!
Mammon's Nightmares
TLDR: Mammon has trauma and needs a hug my friends but also he is the most crackhead brother and I love him
Mammon's nightmares are...
Honestly probably some of the sadder ones
While Lucifer dreams of dozens of different terrible things, Mammon's nightmares all concentrate in one place
And that's you and his brothers
Yeah he feels guilty about Lilith, he misses the little shit every day
And yeah, he also is scared of Michael and father but...
The thing that really digs at him is the idea of his brothers and you actually just...hating him
Like yeah they all say it
But only half of him believes it's true!
He and his brothers used to be so close...
He and Lucifer were practically inseparable, he and Levi were best gaming buds, he was always there to help Asmo, he practically helped raise Satan and the triplets...
And then there's you and oh my stars does he just adore you
From your personality to your looks to that starry gaze you hold just for him he just cannot get enough
Usually, he sleeps fine, you are always there to reassure him and he typically dreams of his marriage with you, Goldie, and his baby coins with little faces which by technicality could totally be nightmares
(note, mammon needs to stop thinking of money as people in his dreams, it's really starting to freak him out-)
But on the nights you aren't there well...
The two of you sleeping in the same bed happened long before you two were actually together
You were awoken on countless nights by the creek of the door and nervous footsteps before he found his way under the covers
You would ask him what was wrong and he would remain silent, tracing the lines of your hands with his fingers
After a while, he would ask if you thought he was stupid, worthless, or any number of other absolutely heartbreaking things that clearly came from a bad dream...
Eventually, he just couldn't seem to get a wink of sleep without you. Like he would be absolutely vibing with his hot girl racecar bed (its secret, its in his closet, shhh don't tell anyone)
And then he would fall asleep and have the most mind shattering nightmare
Like bro get ur ass in his racecar bed okay?
Like you're his emotional support human what are you doing slacking off
"oh I'm sleeping in my own bed"
Uh, no, he doesn't want to hear it.
If you're in your bed, so is he
Watch yourself
He's YOUR parasite
Smh
Still though nowadays in your relationship when he has a nightmare he is honestly a mix between heartbroken and absolutely OFFENDED
LIKE HOE
WHEN HE SAID
"I cant get a good nights sleep without ya, you're like...my home and you make me feel safe...or whatever..."
HE MEANT THAT SHIT
MOVE YOUR ASS HE IS GETTING IN BED
YOU TWO ARE CUDDLING NOW IT IS
M A N D A T O R Y
ARE YOU COMFY
wait no seriously are you comfy he has to know
Do you need a snack or some water-
Yeah he may have been the one with the nightmare, but you are his precious human and he needs to make sure you're okay
So the two of you cuddle and chat, cracking jokes, every so often you mention things like wanting to marry him just to watch him stutter and fumble
Both of you are so cozy too
you might be in your bed, you might be in the racecar pretending to run from the cops
you might be in the racecar actually running from the cops MAMMON WHY CAN YOU DRIVE YOUR BED
Regardless Mammon feels safe with you and you never manage to fail at making him feel better
Like its gotta be a skill at this point
"I love ya Mc" he would tiredly yawn in your ear, part of him wanting to just put his tongue in there out of spite
he doesn't though
You're having a moment
You whisper it back
You shove your tongue in his ear
he screams.
Fucker.
Romance💕
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prince-tulip · 1 year
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I need to stop trying to be everything for everyone.
I cant let go of people, i have a severe abandonment issue that has gone too far. My reality became so blurry, with so many people wanting things from me..cognitive distortions and people pleasing stemming from overwhelming guilt and shame and fear..living off defense mechanisms first..
Its like if ive done wrong to you, i feel I have to be punished and be exactly whoever to whomever person im involved with. Which that plays into daily life, i feel I always have to be how they want me to be, im HEAVILY influenced by the world and often times in bad ways, its a big reason i dont just live my life.. Not to say either that i dont have genuine emotions and love for literally anyone ive loved or even if they hurt me and are toxic, i won't leave. When something i cant handle happens, i look for an escape route maybe? But i know i don't actually want to leave or cut someone off..My feelings become caught in a bundle of wires, words become misdirected, impulsive and if i have a trauma bond with you, subconscious feelings and past events come screaming at my face, confusing my reality more, saying and doing things i shouldn't. All things ive tried so hard to heal from..i have so much love to give and I think overall just genuine connection is what im looking for..even if thats just as friends with whoever my sentiment gets the best of me too, i feel as if everything must mean something but thats just not true and its going to keep killing me if i think like that...that's the big question..
What does connection mean to me? What form do i want it in and how can i better understand how to communicate with my loved ones or future companions? Growing up it was always soulmate, marriage, kids, happy life but i dont think(as of right now, i do hope one day) that the typical life isn't for me..societys need to be perfect, to be perceived as happy and successful, forcing a life out of want oppose to need..i dont understand..
Maybe though..just maybe nothing can grow if you dont allow it to and thats a fault on me.."here comes the contradiction" lmao...*insert*
Could i just be honest and communicate how i properly feel? Yes..but with how my mental illness is, i dont know how i feel. Every thought, perspective, moral is just contradictory. Every second. Its a constant battle of not self destructing, hurting people, picking fights, loss of interest, feeling numb, thinking every is meant for a reason when its not that fucking serious. Its not just negative moods either. Happiness comes in big waves that feel uncomfortable, pleasure feels wrong, like i dont deserve it, in any form.
Im riddled with guilt and regrets..
I feel torn through out time, belonging to people from different points in my life, struggling to feel whole and until i do, especially when it comes to love, romance and building together.
I cant have those, it burns me out. I focus too much on them, then burn out which causes problems and personal anger, sadness, resentment in everyone involved..
I never understood i had a need for validation but oh god, how i understand now..I never understood cognitive distortion but oh god, how i understand now..i never understood how to truly express myself and my desires..but how i understand now..too late... Ironically.
My honest intentions questioned due to my lack of mental understanding, a lack of time perception, a lack of being able to sift through my emotions of how i truly feel, a lack of being able to realize i dont need to people please, a lack of realizing i dont have boundaries for myself or others, a lack of not being able to not self destruct, if i hurt or disappointed someone i feel i need to fix things and be someone that i actually dont really wanna be but i end up filling that role because i need to fix something or i just have a personality switch and im saying and doing things i really don't mean, its so polarizing and its no ones fault, its so much my fault....
I now realize i do not need to feel like i need to be punished..or that i dont deserve good things...The lack of not letting things be natural, not letting things just happen, always fear driven and being controlled by my defense mechanisms. This overwhelming guilt, shame and disgust i harbor in my heart of all the wrongs ive ever made, it all haunts me and im so familiar with it, its almost if thats all i will feel my life, as if thats what i subconsciously wanted...not needed..i didn't need this..but here i am..
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strawberryseeded · 1 year
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no shoujo manga no life etc but even tho i very much enjoy literally every typical shoujo beat, themes, events, long etc, i cant help but notice more and more how the ideas of fashion/trendyness, make-up and weight loss are so intrinsically tied with the idea of 'love' and 'growth' and 'trying hard for ur partner/s/o’ in a way thats... tbh incredibly insidious, especially since most of the time its framed in a cutesy way. like... i get it, trust me. i get the meaning behind it. its about methamorphosis. its a conceptual/visual methaphor to show how a character is making changes on the inside (which manifest outwardly). the occidental version of this wud be the (infamous) classic ‘glow up’/’makeover’ scenes in romance movies (which has already been discussed and dissected, and deservedly so, infinite times)
but the thing is.. when theres an entire chapter dedicated to the weight loss of an already skinny character (and btw, the conclusion is, in fact, that you absolutely should not get fatter if you respect yourself), or multiple plot points feeding into the idea that not putting ‘enough’ effort in the way you look is immature (a notion that makes sense from a societal point of view, tbh. but its such a complex matter that when its simply glossed over it just ends up sounding...bleak, in my opinion), or whole ARCS about unkept 15 y/o girls who didnt give a fuck abt her own appearence are now self-conscious and thats good actually..... well that just sucks, you know
maybe its not all (most of it, at least) as in-your-face as im making it sound, but still. its.. its bad dude. obviously i wud not love shoujo manga as much as i do if it always were so fucking cringe. the genre has so many beautiful stories to offer. so many lovable characters with immense growth, and actually very complex & difficult themes that it explores in very nuanced and mature ways!!!!!!!!! its just that i dont rly agree with the way a loooot of them handle the topic of beauty standars (for young girls and women especially).
like, 4 ex im reading this cute af story which could have been handle very poorly in the wrong hands, since it deals with toxic behaviours in romantic relationships. but its. so fucking well done?? it explores all the gray areas in suchhhhh a respectful way, and never sacrificing the heart-warming feel/overall positiveness of the series.. but when it comes to the topic i previously mentioned? i feel it lacks a bit of.. deconstruction, i guess its the word?
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bonny-kookoo · 3 years
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Sing to me: JJK x Reader 🔞
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Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Mermaid AU, Siren!Jungkook, Prince!Jungkook, homeless!Reader, Romance,  Smut duh
Wordcount: 5k (medium)
Tags/Warnings: okay so, spoiled kook, possessive kook, Theres literally an attempted murder lol, drowning? whoops, blood oh no, reader is hella fucking dense ok, biting, courting lol, fish boy is in love, whoops, anyways we got sexy times too, because in this AU fishboy got legs n all of that hah, unprotected sex because, guys pls this ain't supposed to he realistic, wrap it before you tap it folks, its also not all that filthy lol, blink and you'll miss the scene, honestly I didn't include much smut because yall nasty so you will ask for dirty drabbles anyways, not that I mind lol, k I'm done I think, wow mom I've sinned less than usual..
Summary: Help me love myself, and I might learn to love you as well.
Or alternatively: you save Jungkook from being killed, and he totally gets the wrong signals. But he's cute, so its fine. Probably.
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Jungkook is floating.
He thinks about what lies above the waves, and cant think of anything he really finds interesting. The surface is littered in junk, in things humans leave behind without thinking twice about it. It's air is thick and stuffy, hard to breathe and never clear at all. It's crowded, with creatures who at the end of the day all look the same in his eyes. There's nothing exciting about the world people walk on.
Its boring, and dirty.
His own home is, compared to that, a kingdom radiating like the moon itself. It shines and sparkles, and harbors some of the most beautiful creatures ever to be found. He and his family, as well as everyone else, live in peace with nature down underneath the waves, existing side by side instead of trying to gain the upper hand all the time.
And he's reminded of the cruelty of man, when he finds himself caught in a net.
He's somehow made the fishermen drop it instead of pulling him up on their boat. But that doesn't mean he's free- he's still struggling with it, fighting it, but he cant rip it apart. All he does really, is tie the knots tighter, have them dig into his skin until spots are rubbed raw. He can't really swim anywhere at this point, gives up as he can see the last lights of his distant home fade into the distance.
Jungkook is floating.
He's slowly being led by the waves, by the love of wind and waters, as he closes his eyes. Its a pity, really; for a prince held so high to die by the mere hands of the poor, he thinks. It's upsetting him, very much so, but he takes it as it is. There's nothing he can do anyways, as he slowly comes into contact with the sand below. It washes him up onto short, the dry sand sticking to his body, waves pushing him higher and higher onto the ground.
He shivers, the cold outside air biting at his skin now unsheltered and defenseless.
He doesn't know how long he lays there.
But at some point, steps are heard on the sand. He keeps his eyes closed, doesn't care about what will happen next- he really just wants to have it be over by now, the ropes already painfully burning his skin at certain spots. He's sure theres sand in his wounds as something touches him- warm fingers, hesitant, and almost shy.
He keeps his eyes closed.
"My god, I hate humans.." You mutter under your breath, your voice hitting his ears, making him notice the way it sounds. He thinks it sounds very similar to some of his kind; sirens being blessed with voices sweet and enchanting. Maybe you were one of the strays who had decided to live on the surface for some reason? But your smell was entirely human, although much sweeter and pleasant than anyone he'd met before. And then, after a small short moment of pain-
He's free.
His arms flop to his side, and he breathes in deeply- finally able to fully move again. His eyes open, and adjust to the night for a moment, before they meet yours.
How interesting.
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"Jungkook?" Jimin asks him, curious to what has gotten the young Siren so occupied. Typically, Jungkook would be watching the annual kingdom dances with at least some form of interest; even if it was just a glimpse of it, just to make his parents worry less about him misbehaving. But today, as the graceful dancers move around to the orchestra playing, the young prince is absolutely not there. At least not mentally. "Jungkook." The older one scolds, getting Jungkooks attention- his gaze hard and annoyed. "Please, young prince- at least try to pretend you're interested. This is after all part of our culture." He strategically uses his title as teasing- something which makes Jungkook snort without any fun.
"I really don't want to be here." He explains, and Jimin sighs. "I'd rather be at the surface.." He mumbles, being careful not to be too loud- but Jimin does pick it up, and so does his partner, Taehyung, next to him- now leaning a bit forward to hear better.
"Oh?" Jimin asks. "What could be of interest there, I wonder?" He teases, and Jungkook grows even more irritated.
"Nothing that should interest a whore like you." He says harshly, though Jimin knows he means no harm with it. Jimin is, after all, a man who enjoys the simple pleasures in life- which is why he can't quite grasp why Jungkook, a young man in his prime like himself, doesn't seem to care about whats going on around him.
"Hm, but I think she must be absolutely divine if you're willing to risk the wrath of your own mother just to see her." He says, and Taehyung snickers next to him, clearly amused.
But to both of their surprise, Jungkook grows.. calm. Theres even a glimpse of a smile on his lip as he rests his head on his head, elbow on the armrest of his throne. "That she is." He says, quietly, as he watches the young woman in front of him. He has to imagine you there instead, moving oh so gracefully to the sounds of his Kingdom's greatest musicians- dressed in the most beautiful gown he'd gift you. "That she is.." He repeats, a dreaming look on his face that Jimin has not seen before.
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Jungkook watches you.
He enjoys watching you on your daily trips to the beach, picking up cans and bottles, and other things people throw away without care. You're cleaning up the beach, and he thinks its a very good behavior- he likes the way you always carefully scan the ground and sides for any garbage. He swims a little closer as he spots you squatting down; eyes lighting up as you pick up a shell he'd personally not care much for. It's slightly pink- but nothing he hasn't seen in his life. They're so common, and he suddenly thinks that if this already makes you happy, what if he was to bring you something else? Something better, something more worth your attention?
He feels a rush of excitement.
Dashing into the opposite direction, he makes his way towards the ground below, eyes scanning the ground as he searches for something. He spots it after a few minutes of searching, but when he holds the pearl, he hesitates.
Its not enough.
No, that's not what you should get. He's only paying back his dept, yeah, that's what he's doing. But what if he was overdoing it by bringing you something too expensive or rare? No, he should be smart about it, yeah. Start small, and work your way up he thinks, as he takes the pearls he's collected while deep in thought, and pushes himself back to the top, swimming easily. He hopes you're still there-
And there you are, dipping your feet into the water.
He looks at what he can see; only able to see clearly underneath the waves rather than above. There's a bracelet hanging around your ankle, and it looks cheap, he thinks. It only helps him by giving him ideas for his next gifts- if you would accept his first, that is. He's never been rejected before, but then again, has always rejected instead. Nothing had interested him to the extend you did. Maybe you really were of his kind, secretly.
When he slowly brings his head up the waves, you don't get scared, or flinch. You simply look, spot him, and smile.
He likes that expression.
He comes closer, free hand helping him onto the stone you sit on, his hand holding your gift eagerly pushing against yours. You understand quickly, and open them, and he smiles. You're smart, he notes, and it only adds to your qualities, he thinks. Dropping the pearls, your eyes sparkle again- as they should, he thinks with pride. You inspect them with big eyes, as if you've never seen something alike. He enjoys your reaction- and you nod at him. "Thank you- are they for me to keep?" You ask, pointing to them, and then at your chest. He's not fully fluent in human language, but has picked up on some words and phrases, since Seokjin had recently strayed- teaching him some stuff whenever he got bored and visited his younger brother.
So Jungkook nods. "You." He says, and you like the sound of his voice; fittingly just as handsome as the rest of him, you think. But then again- his kind is known for its beauty and enchanting voices. "Keep." He tells you, pushing your closed palm a bit closer to your body as if to underline his statement. You think its cute, in a way.
"Okay." You say. "I'll keep them-?" You ask, and he doesn't understand, until you point to yourself, and say a name- yours, he supposes.
"Ah-" He starts, pointing to himself. "Jungkook. Jeon, Jungkook." He tells you, and you nod, smiling.
"It's nice to meet you, Jeon Jungkook." You smile, and he grins back, slightly sharpened canines in stark contrast with his bunny-like smile.
He thinks its nice to meet you too.
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"But you're a witch, aren't you?" Jungkook argues, staring at Taehyung. "I thought you were all so capable." He challenges, and Taehyungs eyes darken- quite literally, since sea witches do technically have black eyes- but conceal them, as to not scare off people. He regains his composure however when Jimins hand lays on his shoulder.
"Now now, no need to become huffy." He says. "He didn't say he can't do it- he simply told you that its not that easy." He explains, and Jungkook sighs, rolling his eyes. Ever the spoiled prince, they think to themselves.
"I don't care about that." He states. "Can you do it, or can you not?" He asks, and Taehyung thinks for a moment.
"I.." He begins, before he sighs. "I can. But, there's a catch, Jungkook." He tells him, and this time, the youngest of the group seems just as serious as he listens. "I can't promise that.. the result will be what you will expect." He says.
"What do you mean?" Jungkook asks.
"There's a chance she won't survive it."
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He doesn't think much about why you're so often sitting on that rocky structure close to the deep- he likes not having to get out of the water to be close to you. And you think, Jungkook is quite the interesting being.
He’s curious; that much you can tell. His hands rest on your knees, your toes sometimes brushing against his abdomen as he swims closer- face coming forward to properly look at you. His vision must be bad outside of the waters you assume, his brown eyes squinting in concentration until he huffs and let’s himself back into the waters. You chuckle, and simply take off your jacket, slipping into the water as well as you control your breath- his entire face brightening at your body now underwater in his world, finally clear to see for his eyes.
You’re pretty, he thinks, definitely prettier than any other human he’d encountered before. The clothes covering your breasts and private parts a bit dull and boring for his taste- but he’d change that soon. He smiles, happy, before holding up his finger as if to signal for you to wait before he swims away, elegantly and fast. You swim up to breath some air, catch your breath, until there’s a hand around your calf, holding, fingers running over the skin, signaling you to come down again. You follow his question, taking a deep breath to meet him underneath the surface; his excited hands wrapping something around your neck, before he swims in circles as if he’s suddenly got too much energy. You point to yourself, as if to ask if you can keep it- and he nods, wide eyes watching you with a smile that you can’t help but mirror.
You don't quite realize what he's doing.
He however thinks you know. You know that he's courting you, and you're interested in him. You know that he's just given you more than a simple gift. He only believes you're letting him work for it- something he happily does, taking on the challenge as always. He swims closer, holds your shoulders, as his eyes look into yours, his gaze happy and child-like almost. He's close to finally showing you affection- but you suddenly swim to the surface instead.
And even though he knows you only wanted to breathe, he can't help but feel slightly sour at the ruined moment.
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"You're awfully happy these days." His mother says, watching her son in the gardens of the palace. "May I ask what has gotten you in such a bright mood?" She asks, and Jungkook doesn't quite know how to break it to her. He knows its not forbidden, knows it has, and does, happen each and every day it seems- but there's still fear inside of him. Theres still hesitation, even though he is not ashamed of what has happened- of what he has done. His mother however notices. "You know you can trust me, right?" She says, and he nods.
Its now or never.
"I've found a mate." He says, and his mother smiles warmly, holding his cheek as she kisses it in congratulation. "Its a human." He says, quietly, hurried- but his mother continues to smile.
"I have suspected as much." She states. "Your friend- Park Jimin- is not very good at talking quietly." She snickers, and Jungkook curses under his breath about how he wants to strangle him. Theres a huge weight lifted off of him however; finally having said it, made it very real to him, in a way- even though it was already.
Because, after all; you were wearing his kingdom's sigil around your neck already. He had claimed you.
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He's restless the next time he swims to the shore to meet you again- eager to see you to give you the news of his family's acceptance.
You're late- later than usual, and his brows are furrowed, mood upset at your mannerism. You're usually always on time, always just as eager to see him he thinks- but this time, you're not there. After his anger however, he grows increasingly worried instead. What if something had happened to you instead? Oh what a bad person he would be to be mad at you for getting into an unfortunate situation. As guilt slowly makes his way into his body, claims his muscles, he moves to sit on the stone he usually finds you on. He tries to look around- rain on his skin making it possible to be out way more comfortably.
He spots movement above.
Theres a person he can't make out- throwing something off the cliff down into the sea, and Jungkook clicks his tongue in anger, already upset- but still curious on what it was the person had been so eager to discard. Typically, its tiny things or plastic he finds- but this is something else, he knows.
Underwater, he smells blood.
His pupils contract, eyes widening, as he spots the black bag slowly making its way to the bottom of the sea- red trail leading from it. Its not the blood however that makes him frantic- its the smell of it, of you, that stops his heart.
He gets you out the bag, his anger over the entire situation diminishing into nothing as he holds you close, eyes spotting the deep cut on your side, and the scratches on your face. Unsure where to bring you, he holds you close, brings you onto his back as one of his hands hold yours, your arms around his neck. He swims quickly to the only place he knows you can breathe.
The underwater cave is big enough for now, he thinks, as he brings your body onto the ground, out the water. He doesn't notice he's crying, doesn't quite speak, his native language of clicking sounds and little noises escaping him as he whines out for your attention, waiting for you to wake up somehow. He's been so invested in making you like him and accept him that he's got no idea what to do with a human. Are you cold? How can he warm you up? How does he stop bleeding wounds? How much can you bleed before you die? Are you already dying?
Jungkook doesn't know what to do. So he simply lays by your side, holding you close, in hopes his slightly higher body temperature can keep you warm.
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"He's doing the best he can-" Jimin says, Seokjin next to Taehyung as they both lean over your body. Both witches are concentrated, already exhausted, but there's no way they're giving up on you now. Not only because you're important to Jungkook- but because no one deserves to simply die like this.
"I know, I know!" Jungkook huffs out, pupils turned into cat like slits- a clear sign of the absolute terror and chaos inside of him. "What if they're best isn't good enough? Jimin, I can't loose her, you don't understand-" He starts, but Jimin holds the younger one's shoulders, for the first time serious with him.
"I do." He glances at Taehyung. Jimin had saved Taehyung before as well- the young sea witch having been hit by a fisherman's harpoon years ago. Ever since then, Jimin had been attached to the witch like glue. "Trust me, I really do. And they're doing all they can to make sure she's going to be fine." He promises, and Jungkook nods.
All he can do is pray.
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When you wake up, there's several things you notice.
First, you're alive. Having a raging headache, and your limbs and muscles feel horribly tender, but you're alive. There's also strings of rope tied to two rock formations acting like a clothing line, several blankets and clothes hanging from it. They don't look human-made to you- the fabrics and designs not something you would think of as regular. There's a bucket and several stained rags- now copper-brown with old blood. Its then that you look down, seeing your cut sewed shut.
You also notice its rather soft underneath you.
Its sheepskin laid over seaweed you notice- the whool soft and fluffy, and warm. Everything seems to be so thoughtfully placed, even some decorative items- you can spot fireflies casually sitting in a jar close by, and burned wood, probably to . Probably to make light during the night. You're tired however, so you simply lay down again. Quite honestly, surely you should fee worried about the situation- but then again, there was no one to miss you, no place you called your home anyways. No use in worrying- because deep down, you had your suspicion.
A Jungkook swims to the surface with the plastic box in his arms, he's careful not to throw it too hard onto the ground. As he steps out the water, he's sure to at least try and his his hands of most the water before he goes to check on the blankets he had brought this early morning. They've dried enough, he notices, and is glad about that, as he picks one up.
You don't have to be cold anymore, he thinks.
He's unnaturally careful for his typical character- his usual behavior quite the opposite as it was now. Now, he's making sure you're properly tucked in, as he notices your eyes watching him.
He freezes, for a moment.
Jungkook hasn't really thought much about what would happen if you were to wake up- after all, Seokjin had told him he was unsure if you were to wake up this early in the first place, and Taehyung didn't even know if you would wake up at all. He'd told his younger brother to be prepared for any reaction really; fear, confusion, maybe even anger. But you seem calm, curious even, and Jungkook decides to sit down in front of your face, waiting.
"You brought me here, right?" You ask, and he nods, eyes not leaving your form.
"You-.. hurt." He points to the spot where your wound had been. "Also hurt." His hand points to your head. "Brothers, helped." He informs you, and you smile, nodding at his words. He suddenly looks at the ground, mumbling. "I.. worried. Thought... you, dying." He tells you, and you sit up slowly again, keeping the blanket around your shoulders.
"I'm not dead though." You say, and he nods. "Thank you, Jungkook. Now we're even." You say, and he tilts his head in confusion- a mannerism you could only think of as cute. "I saved you- you saved me." You say, and he smiles, nodding.
"I-" He starts, leaning forward a bit, now way more energetic and lighthearted as before. "I- we-" He growls a little in frustration, and you cant help but giggle at his troubles- the chirps and clicks escaping him foreign- but somehow, they feel hazy, as if your mind knows the language, but has forgotten what it meant. He's trying so hard you notice, and appreciate. "You like here?" He asks, and points around. You nod, and he beams at you. "I made." He tells you, proudly so.
"I guessed as much. Its very thoughtful of you, thank you." You say, and he nods, happy you like what he did for you. Its not a permanent solution, obviously, but as soon as you're healed well enough, he already planned a new spot for you to come with him.
You just don't know it yet.
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There's a weird feeling inside of you.
It's like homesickness, you think. Every time you look at the waters, you feel- sad? It's making you uneasy, and with every day passing by, it just gets worse and worse. But it's today, that you cant take it.
When you dip your legs into the water, it soothes an ache you can't recognize ever having. It helps your skin, it somehow feels as if you're breathing again. But It's not enough, you think- before you let yourself fall into the deep end.
You're floating.
It's like leaving a stuffy and crowded mall, just to stand in a park, fresh air after it had rained, and light breeze clearing your head. Everything is silent, but not at the same time- the water around you feeling as if you're being hugged, held. It makes you relax, makes you let go, makes you only exist for a moment.
You're floating.
And there's a sudden wave of realization that you're also breathing. There's no water in your lungs- or maybe there is, and you just don't feel it being there. Darkness surrounds you as you don't know where you are exactly- theres no telling where is where, no way to know if you're upright or not. Maybe you've died?
Did you drown?
If you did, it would explain Jungkook being there. He's swimming towards you with a face full of worry, as he grabs your wrist and holds you close. "I can't even let you out of my sight for a mere day it seems, my love." He sighs, and your eyes widen. Its almost comedic how his own do the same, focusing on your neck, as he touches.
You're sensitive, and shift away from his touch.
"It-" He starts, now holding your shoulders, as he begins to smile. "It worked! It really did- by the dragon kind, you look absolutely divine!" He laughs, and can't help but hold your hands, eyes roaming your appearance, as you don't quite get it- until you follow his gaze.
Just like him, there's fins now on the sides of your calfs, smaller ones on your ankles as well. Theres also ones decorating your outer forearms- they look like the ones you'd always see on goldfish as a kid. There's something alike to scales as well, but barely noticable. "I- what happened to me?" You ask, and Junkook smiles.
"You.. almost died." He admits, taking your hand and swimming to what you assume is back towards the cave. "You had been robbed during the day, and when I found you.. well, you know what happened." He says. "While you were asleep, we were thinking about what to do. There was no way you would survive as a human- so, a friend of mine- Taehyung- performed a ritual, together with Seokjin, my brother." He says. You finally spot light, glad to be able to have at least some form of orientation. "I'm glad you're adjusting so quickly, my love." He states, smiling at you.
You notice the petname again.
"Jungkook-" You start, as you both reach the cave again, sitting on the edge of where the ground of the cave meets the water. "Why are you.. calling me that?" You ask, and Jungkook seems confused.
"Why do you ask?" He questions. And you don't quite follow, until he continues. "You're my mate- I am only addressing you as such."
Your eyes widen. "Wait- we're-" You start, and its only then that it clicks in Jungkooks head.
"Oh." He says- the dissapointment bitter and evident in his voice. "You.. didn't know?" He asks, and you shake your head, unsure what he means. "I see.." He tells you, suddenly distant. "I.. will bring you breakfast tomorrow.. sleep well." He abruptly says, and before you can say anything, he's already gone.
What just happened?
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"There you are!" A voice says, deeper than Jungkooks, but not unfamiliar. Taehyung had been visiting and bringing you food and nescessities ever since that talk with Jungkook. This time, however, Taehyung seems like he wants to say something. You look at him, silently urging him, and he sits down next to you, sighing.
"Does he hate me?" You ask, quietly, and Taehyung looks sad.
"He could never." He says. "He just.. didn't take the rejection well. He'll need time to come around. It won't take that much time- his mother is already trying to get a new partner for him." He explains, and your head whips around towards him. "I- you.. did reject him, right?" He asks, slowly. "You do.. not love him, right?" He urges again, and you groan suddenly, throwing your face into your hands.
"Oh my god I'm so stupid.." You say. "It all.. everything was so overwhelming, I didn't even notice what he was doing." You cry into your hands, as Taehyungs hand places itself onto your back, trying to soothe you. "I though.. especially after I found out about his status.." You mumble. "How could he want me?" You ask, and Taehyung sighs.
"Head up, little siren." He says. "He's still able to hear you sing, if you want to." He says, and you look at him.
"But how?" You say. "I have no idea where the kingdom, or anything really is. And he won't come see me until its too late." You say.
"Well-" Taehyung says, standing up, and holding out his hand. "-allow me to escort the future princess to her lover."
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"How did you find me?" He simply asks, not turning around, as you float closer. "I'm sorry, but I still need time to.. get over-" He starts, but you don't let him finish, instead leaning into his back, your arms around his middle.
"I'm stupid." You say. "I'm really, really stupid." He shakes his head, but you continue. "Just because I didn't realize- doesn't mean that I don't feel anything for you." You say. "I just.. felt unworthy, I guess. Insignificant." You admit, and he turns around, holding your face in his hands.
"You really are not gifted with the mind of the dragons king, my love." He states teasingly, the glimmer in his eyes returning. "My status means nothing to me, if that meant I could not have you." He says, and you lean forward, capturing his lips. "I hope you know what this meant, at least." He teases, and your eyes widen, scared you might've done something wrong. "It means you love me." He says, and you chuckle.
"Good." You say. "Because I do."
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Even though he thinks you looked like a goddess reborn in your white and pearl decorated gown from the wedding, he enjoys you without it, close to him, just as much. He's alive, he's feeling, he's in love, as his hands move over your skin, his senses filled with you and nothing else.
The sounds you make for him are sweeter than any siren's song he's ever heard or could ever sing himself. No member of his kind is as enchanting as you, he decides, as he bites and kisses the sensitive skin of your neck. Jimin had teased him relentlessly the entire evening and night by trying to send you sweet words, to which you didn't react- but that didn't mean that it didn't piss him off.
You were his.
His princess- and soon to be queen, one day.
And he's planning on making that very evident, as he marks up your skin with little bites, visible for everyone to see. He wants everyone to know, even though by tomorrow, the entire Kingdom will celebrate the marriage of its prince anyways. He's more than ready to show you off, to hold you close, to have people see the divine being at his side that's you.
It's only natural for his hands to roam your skin, for his lips to worhip every inch it seems, as you reach out for his hand every second it leaves you. It's painfully endearing he thinks, how you can be so innocent and pure, while he's between your legs, performing the sinful act of pleasuring you with his mouth.
You pull him towards you, as you straddle his waist, leaning down to kiss him. He's in god's divine lands he thinks, as he suddenly feels you sinking down on his awaiting length. You fit around him perfectly, more so than he could've ever imagined. And as you both move, he holds you close, happy that here, in his world, he doesn't need to breathe.
He can kiss you as long as he wants.
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(c)Bonny-Kookoo. I spilled strawberry milk on my poor laptop while writing this.
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eee requests!!
i LOVE the way you write bo- could i request something with bo meeting/with a paranoid reader- i think itd be fun to see how he'd react to someone assuming he is up to no good from the get go just because its how they are
also! tips on writing bo? i cant seem to master it
- slasher--stuff
Thank youuuuu ~ 💖💖💖💖 other people here, who KNOW who they are, taught me everything I know abt the Sinclairs!! I hope you enjoy this too ~ 💖💖💖 I think I previously answered your ask abt help with Bo!!! I'm happy to talk abt things with you more though if you want to!!!🌸💗 @slasher--stuff
AS ALWAYS, GENDER!NEUTRAL READER, NO CODED LANGUAGE, "YOU" AND Y/N USED.
A big thank you to @ultra-literal-fandom-trash for listening to me throw ideas into the void and helping me to work out how Bo would respond to this scenario! I got a bit stuck with several parts of this piece and you wrote me out of all the corners I'd blocked myself into.😂 Thank you thank you thank you for helping me!!!🙏🙏🙏 I appreciate you so much ~ 💗
Bo meeting a paranoid reader; they suspect him immediately because that's how they are.
TW; CANON TYPICAL DARKNESS, Bo's his own warning (said with love), experiences of paranoia. PLEASE NOTE - I did some research on paranoia while writing this piece. I've done my best to be respectful and accurate in my portrayal but as I don't experience this myself, there MAY be some inaccuracies. I apologise for any you may find. DRUGGING (canon typical; Vincent gets you), STALKING, cornering, fear and anxiety, NO ROMANCE BETWEEN BO AND READER.
I won't be continuing this piece because I have nowhere else for it to go; I wrote myself into a corner just like the Sinclairs end up doing to you. BUT PLEASE PLEASE BE AWARE THIS DOES NOT HAVE A HAPPY ENDING. THIS IS THE DARKEST ONE I'VE WRITTEN YET.
Word count: 2, 624.
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Most people who come into Ambrose are really rather stupid. They dismiss every red flag which came their way once they ended up on Ambrose’s borders. The way Lester conveniently pulls up right when their car breaks down, the way he offers up gas or a free ride (though this is more his genuine want to help others and less so a part of his 'delivery' to Ambrose), the way the toilet at the gas station is always out of order but Bo's got one up at the house they're all right to use... the rigged town and it's many lures, traps and other such things are all far too convenient, and most people dismiss that feeling in their gut. The one which is telling them to run, far far away, and not look back.
Yes, most visitors who find themselves in Ambrose are either too desperate for help to see the red flags practically being flashed in their face, or they just don't notice them and assume the very best of Lester, Bo and Vincent... though they're usually dead before they can learn of the Sinclairs' names.
Except you.
You experience paranoia and that can make it really difficult for you to form a close relationship with anyone. Often do you feel as if people are out to get you, as if they might want to hurt you. Offers of help are met with suspicion, and generally speaking do you question everything and everyone around you. As such, when Lester pulled up in his pickup truck beside you and your broken down, abandoned car (you hadn't known that fan-belts were capable of snapping...), you had been immediately suspicious and most definitely on edge. Something didn't feel right, something wasn't right, you should get in your car, lock the door and refuse to come out until the strange man who just so happened to offer you a free ride had given up and left, right?
Wrong.
The one time you should have listened to yourself, the one time your paranoia was more in tune with the world than you knew, was the one time that you didn't. You got in the pickup truck against every fibre of your being screaming at you, and you would, at least in part, spend the rest of your life both hating and loving yourself for it. You had no idea what you were in for, and that was just how the Sinclairs wanted it, how they loved it.
Everything went off without a hitch for the brothers once Lester delivered you to the washed out corner which hid Ambrose from the view of anyone who didn't know where to go. Bo and Vincent had inherited the family business well over a decade ago, and their individual roles were well worth and well loved.
Bo was in place at the church and Vincent was in the lower floor of the house of wax, lingering behind the piano. Visitors had been sparse recently and the brothers had been positively itching for someone to track, for new work to do. Vincent had already chosen a place for you... he hadn't seen you yet, but there were some gaps in the theatre which needed filling. Some of the rows in the actual cinema were asymmetrical and it was pissing Bo off. He had taken one too many passive aggressive comments from his older twin and so Vincent had resigned himself to not getting to choose his work's locations until Bo was satisfied. Such was life, though even with his irritation would Vincent do anything for Bo. Anything.
Red flags were cropping up left, right and centre. Literally. Every store front made you squint in concentration, every abandoned car made you feel a certain kind of way, the layout of the town itself was just odd... and was it you or could you smell something which was bitter, sweet but altogether wrong? You were suspicious as you saw how everything was open but closed, and your paranoia was in full swing. You knew not if it was your paranoia which was making the situation seem as it did or if you were seeing the reality, and the lack of distinction and knowing only made you more paranoid.
You could hear a procession going on in the church but you didn't want to go in. It was unbelievably rude to interrupt any kind of private service; your logic told you that not every citizen of Ambrose was going to be attending the same service and your paranoia leapt on that like a fly to shit - why would a town be so deserted in the first place? You sat on the steps, your skin increasingly crawling with nerves and your every fibre screaming at you to run. Just. Run. But you didn't. Where could you run? What could you do? You needed help, and that was why you were there.
In time, you would come to appreciate that the last thing you could ever hope to find in Ambrose would be help. You had genuinely had that with Lester, but once you had left his truck, that was over. He didn't mess with his brothers' work, their momma's legacy. People who came to Ambrose did so to die, though they were dead before their minds could catch up to such. Most died without knowing what had hit them, who had done it or why.
Some, like you, presented a challenge to the twins, and they took their time with ones like you. It made breaking you so much more fun. The hunt was already fun when the prey didn't know they were being hunted, but, oh, the chase once the realisation set in made all the more delicious to the sadistic pair.
Bo realised that you were going to be the most fun he had had in a while when you didn't come in the church after an entire ten minutes had passed. On his knees was he with his back to the door and over the sounds of the recorded audio could he not hear you. He sensed your presence, so continuously aware of his surroundings was he. He flipped a switch on the bottom of the casket which would 'lower' it into the ground and stood up, feigning grief. He did feel grief over the passing of his parents and he tapped into it as much as he was able to when he was playing the role. But beating a dead horse was only so much fun for a while before it began to get stale, and today he just couldn't tap into his real grief for his false Southern Gentleman Act™.
Usually, he waited until he could hear the sound of shoes on gravel leaving the premises of the church before he finished the 'funeral' but today, the act had some variety in it. Not many were polite like you apparently were, and Bo could admit to himself that he was curious. He never knew who had come to Ambrose until he opened the church doors. Lester never bothered to tell him anything beyond a quick text letting him know that the visitors were on the way up to the town because that was the only important thing to the brothers. Filling the town and completing their momma's legacy.
When his eyes fell on you, Bo could see that you would be the challenge he had been itching for. He was good at reading body language; he had to be in order to be successful with what he chose to do every day, and he could see that you were paranoid and on edge. He was out to get you and he hadn't even met you yet, was your mindset in this moment, and Bo had to bite back his smirk. Oh, this was going to be fun. "Hey," His voice was soft but deep - the act was in full swing now, though he was trying just a little bit harder. If you were already suspicious, then he was going to try a bit more than he usually did, if only to potentially offset you some more. If your paranoia was at total odds with his actions, then he had a greater chance of getting you in either brothers' chair. Bo still couldn't decide if his chair or Vincent's was kinder, but both had the same result: new works for the town. So he didn't care all that much. "Can I help you?"
"Uh...." Oh, help you, but you wanted to refuse. You needed to get out of this town, you needed to leave, but you were here because you needed help. You had had no choice since you had agreed to let Lester drive you here. "That depends. Are you Bo, the mechanic?" On the inside, however, your only thought was 'please say no, please say no, say no...'
"Yeah," Bo nodded, "Ya' found me. Listen, I, uh - I gotta finish up inside. Why don't'cha go back down to the station," He nodded towards the direction which you would need to go in, "and I'll meet you back there in about a half?"
More red flags raised up within you, but you had accepted his help already. It was clear that you were not in control of this situation, that this man was only asking you to meet him as a way of feigning politeness. The hard ice of his blues told you that he was demanding this of you... or were you just overthinking it? You couldn't tell anymore. That, in itself, was a bit of a red flag, but you were in too deep now. "Sure, I... thank you. I'm sorry for your loss, Bo."
Your humanisation of him took Bo by surprise. So many people spoke at him and not to him, but you had gone out of your way to use his name. It made him and the overall situation less scary for you, and it was also a way of gaining back some control for yourself. You doubted it would work, it never had before, but it was all about the small things. If he was going to fix up your car, then the very least you could do was use his name. "Yeah." Bo chuckled awkwardly, opened his mouth as if to say something, but then shook his head and left without a word.
It continued like this for some time; with Bo laying his act on just a bit thicker than he usually did (it would make the moment of realisation upon you that much sweeter for him) and with you wanting to refuse his help but not being able to because it was something you needed. By the time the sun had dipped below the horizon, kissing the sky goodnight with a burst of oranges and reds which faded out into purples and blues, the Sinclairs had well and truly ensnared you. You were a fighter, they had to give that to you, and you weren’t making it easy on them.
All good things must come to an end, however, and the moment of realisation dawned upon you when Vincent had lured you into the house of wax with the distant sounds of the music he loved to listen to. The notes of the opera he favoured sifted up through the floor, the door left ajar. It was the most obvious trap he could have set, and indeed it wasn’t something so obvious which he would usually bestow upon the visitors. But you were already on edge, already fearing the worst, already at your emotional limit with all that your mind had put you through this day. In some sick way was Vincent taking pity on you. Showing you that you had a reason to be scared, that your paranoia in this particular instance was very much the reality.
You had wandered into the foyer just as Vincent had orchestrated, glancing around at all the wax statues, but you had gotten too physically close to one of them and the bitter bouquet of death had sunk into your nostrils and awakened you to the reality.
Vincent was stood in one of the many alcoves, shrouded in shadow, with his camera turned on and pointed at you. He wanted to perfectly capture everything - your paranoia, your fear, your realisation - so that he could show Lester later on. Bo was in another alcove, a sinister grin on his face. Collectively had the twins decided not to kill you just yet. They wanted to push you to your absolute limits just to see what you would do. This was the most fun they had had in a long time.
"Oh, my - " You suppressed a gag, bile rising up your oesophagus. Your mind screamed 'no' at you, over and over, in denial were you, but your paranoia for once, for once, was right. "Oh, please tell me I'm not seeing what I think I - " You moved across the room, to where there was a couple on the sofa together, one looming over the other, and you took a long, hard look at both of them. One long finger came out and tentatively poked at the cheek of the one sat down, and everything crashed down on you at that moment. You turned and ran, but the Sinclairs were quicker than you. They had been expecting this, wanting this.
A flash of a scarred wrist and the door was shoved closed and then deftly locked when you were so close to being able to leave, and the chuckle you heard from behind you made your skin crawl, a chill dancing down your spine. "Oh, no," Bo chuckled, "You ain't goin' nowhere. S'quite a show ya' put on for us."
Your stomach dropped and Vincent crept closer and closer as he stopped recording, shut the camera quietly and slipped it into his pocket.
"Ain't had no one figure it out that fast before, m'impressed," Bo forced his body between yours and the doorway, and you took a step back. For every step back you took, Bo took one forward and so did Vincent, until you were practically sandwiched between the twins. Each held a blade in hand, which glinted in the low light of the room. With the haunting music drifting up from the floor, there was a haunting beautiful element to the events, though you were too scared to really take any of it in. Had this been a horror film, you would have appreciated the cinematography and maybe even favoured this scene over others. But this was real life (a horror all on its own), and no such thing as a back button existed. There was no walking away, no getting out.
You were right where the brothers had been wanting you ever since you had accepted Lester's help out on the road fifteen miles away from Ambrose. You'd been fucked from the start and you'd never even known it.
"Now," Bo smirked, "We can either do this the easy way, or we c'n do it my way." His blue eyes looked behind you and just over your shoulder. A message you were never going to hear translated.
Before you could fully register his words, a sharp pinprick entered the side of your neck, and the world went black. You dropped like a sack of potatoes and the brothers let you. They weren't going to kill you, but they also weren't going to let you leave. For the worst were you Ambrose's newest resident, and there was nothing you could do about it. You were trapped, alone, paranoid... and you had every right to be and then some.
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fockingnice · 3 years
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@franboos @to-enter-polaris @gucciboner and myself worked on a massive fic recommendation list with all our favourite sobbe fics classed by word count.. enjoy!
one-shots:
< 10k
- hold me close @sincerelysobbe (2,5k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/23969836
Robbe is stressed because of a test and Sander comforts him.
- You make me feel like I am whole again @nbrook (2,7k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26937070
Robbe is having an awful day. But it ends in the best way possible.
- A Beautiful Night @Lwritings (3,6k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/23428594
Sander has been friends with the Broerrrs for half a year and Robbe has been desperately crushing on him. A game of Never Have I Ever changes everything.
- Love potion no.9 @thekardemomme (3,8k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28923867
they’re best friends. and potions partners. or: it’s amortentia day.
- Croissants @bruisingknees (3,8k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22186195
Robbe thinks that maybe the guy working at the bakery has been flirting with him.
- Paper rings @thekardemomme (4k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27953645
When Sander’s nose twitches, causing him to make this soft little whimpering sound, Robbe can’t help himself. He leans forward enough to kiss Sander’s forehead again, and then he dots one on each cheek, and then finally on his nose. “I can’t wait to marry you,” he whispers.
- You’re an angel in disguise (you’re an angel in my eyes) @thekardemomme (4,1k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27570142
Robbe is Sander’s guardian angel.
- The sun came up and I was looking at you @allforyoumylove (4,2k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/24647095
Robbe and Sander waking up on a quiet Sunday morning in June. Sander is a tease, Robbe is awestruck, and both are hopelessly in love.
- I’ve always wanted a (boy)friend @thekardemomme (4,2k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28496322
before sander, robbe never liked christmas. christmas is sander’s favorite holiday.
- Purple lips (underwater) @dottori (5,3k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22371688
it’s a sunny, warm friday at the beginning of march, and sander wants them to go for a swim.
- Day Fifty @beejohnlocked (5,7k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27987252
Robbe makes a plan to confess his feelings to Sander on Christmas.
- The blind date bomb @thekardemomme (5,8k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29073711
”He thinks of the gorgeous man in the picture, and he thinks of how Sander said his YouTube is cute, and how Britt—who hardly even knows Robbe—thinks that he and Sander would be a good match.And he decides… Fuck it. One date can’t hurt, right?” or: robbe and sander go on a blind date
- Let's dance @msleviss (6,2k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22092550 
Robbe and his friends go to a club to check out Amber’s DJ cousin.
- 12 things I love about you @nbrook (6,3k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27636032
Sander can't spend the whole day with Robbe on their anniversary, but he still figures out a way to make him fall in love with him all over again.
- Love me while your wrists are bound @alsjeblieft (6,4k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27031636
the cabin trip but with a twist.
- Sun shining from pure desire @skamtrash (6,6k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27105727
Sander has been flirting with his student teacher, Robbe for months now who keeps reminding Sander that he's wasting his time but eventually the flirting and chasing wears Robbe down to where he cant deny his attraction to Sander. University TA/Student AU
-  At ease with you @Skamtrash ( 7,7,k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26423596
robbe tells his mom he and his best friend, sander are dating to get her off his back.
He doesn't expect his mom to congratulate them by getting them tickets to join her on a cruise vacation.
Cue a week of pretending to be a couple.
fake relationship to lovers au
- Besotted with your love @Skamtrash (7,7k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25288000
sander has a photography project and decides to shoot at the skatepark where robbe is his subject. when he approaches robbe and needs him to fill out the release form, he's absolutely smitten from the start.
sander falling in love with robbe who's deaf.
- Taking pictures of you as the light came through @allforyoumylove (7,9k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27533866
Robbe photographs Sander in bed. Things take a steamy turn.
- My midsummer darling @robbesdriesen (8,2k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/23702017
Robbe goes on a summer week-long retreat to his aunt's quaint, little villa in Genoa. He doesn't know he has a neighbor close by, one that would capture his entire soul.
OR
Robbe and Sander fall in love in a whirlwind summer romance. One that would change their lives forever.
- Afterglow @Skamtrash (9k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28032300
On vacation in a small winter village during the holidays, Robbe meets one of the hotel's employees, Sander.
All it takes is two weeks. 14 days for them to fall for each other.
- Christmas Dreams @sonderthroughthestreets (9,6k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28272282
Robbe is stuck with his typical 9-5 job as an HR analyst until a conversation with Sander from IT on their company rooftop makes him reconsider his dreams. In the midst of it all, Adam from Accounting has a massive crush on Robbe and wants to ask him to the Christmas Party, so Sander offers to be his "date" to help him. Christmas fluff and flirting ensues.
> 10k 
- Sander Driesen versus a mistletoe @dottori (10,1k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27976461
it’s not a fair match.
(or, sobbe go on a christmas date, and sander really wants a kiss under the mistletoe.)
- This isn't our first time around @noobishere (10,7k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25472953
One moment they are in the kitchen of their shared apartment, the next, they're in this strange but familiar room.
(a.k.a the au in which they accidentally go hopping through multiple universes)
- Our love story is my favorite @robbesdriesen (13k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25459867
a wedding fic for robbe and sander
- It’s an unrequited love @eggsntoast (14,1k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22854661
Sander works part-time at a museum every Sunday. Robbe is a frequent visitor.
- Agents Sliding Down The Chimney @berrevy (14,2k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28428840
The smile that twitches at the corner of Sander's mouth is like the tiniest opening, and Robbe takes that as a challenge. He’s always been good at slipping through small spaces.
“You wanna see a trick?”
Sander sizes him up for a moment, then swivels on his heel to face him fully. “Ok then, magic boy. C’mon.”
(aka a late Christmas fic)
- Come lie with me @allforyoumylove (14,6k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29089530 
“When Robbe lifts the blanket and gently tugs on the leg of Sander’s sweatpants, silently inviting him in, Sander doesn’t ask questions, doesn’t hesitate, he just drowsily slips into Robbe’s embrace.”
(or the one where they both have a terrible relationship with sleep but find out that it gets a little better when nestled up against each other)
- Man on a mission @littleliefe (17k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27820564
The agency is under attack but Sander is just thirsty for Robbe. On the other hand, the rest of the agency is more concerned about helping Sander ask Robbe out for dinner.
- life was a willow and it bent right to your wind @nbrook (18k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28349892
Sander and Robbe became best friends before Sander made a move and then Robbe went and got himself another boyfriend, leaving him pining. And it’s fine, really, it is. Sander promised himself that he wouldn’t do anything about it for as long as Robbe was happy. But when Robbe’s boyfriend ridicules his love for everything Christmas, he decides to step in to give him the Christmas traditions he deserves himself.
- You're my stars...and everything in between @aurorawinds (19,7k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27862950
A Star-Crossed Lovers, Romeo & Juliet inspired, AU where Robbe and Sander are the sons of Antwerp’s two most rivaling families of tech companies, head over heels in love with one another as they find it more and more difficult each day to hide their relationship from their families. To hide their love.
- Lovers never lose @dottori (24k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27532636
twelve-ish kisses robbe and sander share at the trip to ardennes (and afterwards).
multi-chaptered:
5k - 20k
- In the middle of the night @Lwritings (complete | 9,3k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/24133477/chapters/58105945
The Broerrrs go on holiday for a week to London. Robbe is very excited for it until there is something wrong in the hotel and he has to share a room with Sander. And not just Sander, no the guy he has been crushing on for 3 months ever since he joined their group. And not just a room, no there is only one bed as well. When it's just the two of them in the night, anything can happen..
- If a June night could talk it would probably boast it invented romance @allforyoumylove (complete | 14,7k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25264918/chapters/61250002?view_adult=true
Robbe and Sander are childhood best friends. They’re also secretly in love with each other. Confessions are made under a beech tree on a warm summer evening at the end of June.
- Drie @skamtrash (complete | 15,4k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22547221/chapters/53878474
Robbe stands up and finds the voice calling the name and fucking hell, the guy's well fit. He's only dressed in a black t shirt, black jeans and boots but the tattoos that layer his arms immediately entice him. And that platinum hair,  his actual face,  who looks that good. He gets himself together quickly, "I think Bowie's here."
The au in which Robbe finds a toddler hiding in a clothing rack at a store and ends up falling for his dad
- The way we feel @toskyandbeyond (in the works | currently 17,8k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26364451/chapters/64213597
It’s always been like that. Robbe and Sander, through thick and thin. There was not a thing they didn’t go through together. Moreover, they couldn’t even imagine living without each other’s presence.
The day they met it was almost like two old souls encountered once again. Like they were meant to find each other.
- The finest of the meadow @allforyoumylove (complete | 18,8k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26009740/chapters/63239776
The universe brings two lonely boys together in a flowering meadow. They fall for each other fast and hard among delicate daisies, warm summer breezes, and shooting stars.
20k - 40k
- Come closer I’ll give you all my love @sonderthroughthestreets (in the works | 22,6k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27249196/chapters/66568180
Robbe’s ex is a pain and Sander helps get rid of him. The problem? They’ve been friends for as long as they can remember and some point between the blurred lines, they fall in love.
-  Put your head on my shoulder @Aniloracat (in the works | currently 24,9k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/24079126/chapters/5795296
Because of some past mistakes and communication issues, Robbe and Sander can't stand each other anymore, until they are "forced" to stay in quarantine alone and face their feelings.
📌 Or the enemies to lovers, roommates, quarantine fanfic nobody asked for 😅
📌 Title based on Paul Anka's song 'Put your head in my shoulder'
- Waiting down at the station @ivy_seas (in the works | currently 25,5k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28995576/chapters/71160429
The world is winter, it’s the inconvenient snowfall on the walk to the six-thirty train, it’s falling for the stranger who happens to take the same train. When to take a risk becomes the same question of when to let go of something you’re not really sure you had in the first place. But maybe the world isn’t so cruel.
—strangers to lovers au
- Wings to Earn @to-enter-polaris (complete | 26,6k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28432749/chapters/69672963
After playing volleyball abroad for two years, Sander comes back home to fix his mistake of leaving in the first place, but Robbe isn't ready to forgive him.
- time may change me, but i can't trace time @abittersweetsong (in the works | currently 30,8k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27785878/chapters/68021533
“You’re my best friend and I love you.”
It’s a simple admission and it settles gently in Robbe’s soul.
Or Robbe and Sander find each other in every universe, but in this one they're best friends first.
- If You say Run, I'll Run with You @Aniloracat (complete | 32,8k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25970479/chapters/63133504
Robbe is having a terrible day and a hot, but annoying white-haired photographer that won't stop appearing everywhere is not making it any better. That's it, until sparks fly, and Robbe decides he's found the perfect distraction from his terrible day.
 One-night stand AU that's not meant to be a one-night stand.
- Vrijdag 21:37 @wasteourdaysdreaming (complete | 34,8k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22002403/chapters/52504453
The same party one Friday night in February, told from different perspectives.
- You know i'm always at your shoulder (take your heart out of its holster) @wafflesofdoom (in the works (but can be read separate from each other) | currently 35,2k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/21979630/chapters/52448740
“I must have been really good, in another universe, to deserve you,” Sander whispered, thumb brushing the line of Robbe’s cheekbone, the pad of his thumb soft against Robbe’s skin.
Robbe simply kissed the inside of Sander’s wrist, shaking his head. “You are good in this universe, too,” he said. “You found me, when I needed you the most.”
learning how to be in a real, actual relationship isn't the easiest thing in the world, and robbe is very new to it all, and he's got a lot to figure out when it comes to being in actual, everyday love with sander. the first six months of a relationship are the best - and they're some of the hardest, too. these are the first six months of robbe and sander's relationship.
- this rough magic @aholynight (complete | 36,4k) 
https://archiveofourown.org/works/21760975/chapters/51919642
Though he’s a sixth-prefect and the newest member of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, Muggleborn Robbe can still hardly believe that he’s made of magic.
Sander is the seventh-year Gryffindor beater whose wild behavior and delinquent reputation precedes him.
Though Robbe desperately wants to believe in the angel-faced boy he sees in front of him—and ignore the rumors of Sander’s devilish behavior—he’s not sure his heart can afford the risk.
But when Sander and Robbe are left in a nearly-empty Hogwarts over the Christmas holiday, avoiding Sander might no longer be an option.
40k - 60k
- The night we met @themoongirl (complete | 42,8k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22189216/chapters/52975012
Robbe Ijzermans has a brain that won't let him sleep, a chest that feels far too heavy and thoughts that never stop.
During his first year of college he meets Sander Driesen. Robbe finds what he never went looking for.
AKA, a college AU.
- Visitations @lucidpantone (complete | 46,1k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22537474/chapters/53855452
Does Robbe and Sander's relationship survive into adulthood.
This fic takes place in two simultaneously timelines: the past and the present.
The present occurs in one entire day. Both timelines are completely out of chronological order. Everything is in clips.You can be dropped in at anytime of the day in any timeline. So clip by clip you will need to piece together what happen to Sander & Robbe and why the present looks the way it does and what happened in the past that got them there.
This love story is a journey. So be prepared.
In the words of one of our Even's. It’s a complicated love story between complicated people.
- look into my eyes, ignore the rest @robbesdriesen (complete | 47,4k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26230513/chapters/63842047
a story of how robbe and sander fall in love in front of the camera and behind it (which in their case, the camera isn't needed at all)
- rotten work @aholynight (complete | 50,5k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22239544/chapters/53102809
Robbe is a college freshman whose reckless habits and excessive drinking are starting to look an awful lot like calculated self-destruction—though his loneliness might be the thing that kills him first.
Sander is a visual arts major a few years above Robbe, with a face nobody can forget and a fuck boy reputation he can't seem to shake.
Everybody warns Robbe to stay away from the Sander, unless he wants to get burned. But Robbe's the kind of boy who likes playing with fire.
- just friends @sincerelysobbe (complete | 51k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27861626/chapters/68215882
Months ago, after a one-night stand that couldn't stay that way, Robbe and Sander made an agreement—the two of them, no strings attached. But, Sander's feelings for Robbe were strong, to begin with, and they're growing stronger with each passing day—and he knows that he is more in love with Robbe than he should be.
- run and score @robbesdriesen (complete | 59,8k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/23372407/chapters/56000917
Robbe Ijzermans is the star goalie of Antwerp U’s football team, naturally blocking shots as if it were his sixth sense. Sander Driesen is their star striker, having an eagle eye for the goal at all times.
Robbe always had a distaste for his bleached-blonde teammate and the annoying way he carried himself, but Robbe can never mask how much he admires him from a distance.
When they finally begin to learn more about each other, there is no going back for either.
With the looming playoffs in jeopardy for their entire team, will Robbe & Sander be able to manage it together? All while falling in love with each other at the same time?
> 60k
- Eastwood liberty @fockinglevendcliche (in the works | currently 69,7k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/24250837/chapters/58438588
Eastwood Liberty students had only one mission: to always be on top, at everything, no matter the cost.
It took Robbe just a day to realize that people there only cared about two things: money and power. But that was no surprise to him. What he didn't expect was to be confronted by this group of rich and spoiled boys, who used to always get what they wanted, especially their leader, Sander Driesen.
Sander made the rules, but unfortunately for him, Robbe had never been really good at sticking to them.
- Do i know you? @SrtaPepa (in the works | currently 88k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/23340514/chapters/55913782
Robbe has lost his memory from the last three years. He doesn’t remember finishing school and start college with Yasmina; he doesn’t remember going to live to the flatshare, or move out to a new place, or being friends with Milan, neither coming out as gay. And the worst of all of this is that Robbe doesn’t remember meeting Sander or that he is, in fact, truly, madly, deeply in love with him.
Hopefully, sometimes feelings are stronger than memories.
- jij verliest @sincerelysobbe (complete | 104,1k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/24445087/chapters/58986433
For the past three months, Robbe’s life—and what it once was—had been stripped away and rearranged. Now, if anything, his life had become a bit repetitive: homework, stream, ignore Thomas’s Instagram, repeat. But one Friday evening, Robbe meets a hurricane in the form of a platinum-haired tattoo artist who just might show him everything that he’s been missing.
- Remember my name @ijzermans (complete | 106,3k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/24215371/chapters/58335259
The past few weeks, Robbe has noticed a new guy has attended his high school.
Nobody really seems to care about the strange bleached kid, yet Robbe on the other hand, can't help but feel intrigued by him.
The new guy happens to be Sander, and he's not that easy to connect with. He's quiet, distant, and has a past he'd rather not share.
Or will Robbe make a difference?
- Paint me in trust @themoongirl (complete | 116,2k)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/24235861/chapters/58395625
“What are you looking for, Robbe?” Sander tilted his head, moving closer.
“A rush.” Robbe whispered, his lips brushing Sander’s.
Robbe Ijzermans has spent the better part of two years chasing the need to feel real again. Though being an adrenaline junkie is hardly a healthy coping mechanism, it’s one of the only things he has left.
Sander Driesen is a vampire with an unspeakable, dreadful past that won't seem to leave him.
When Robbe gets roped into Sander’s life he finds the feeling he has been chasing all along. But Sander's world has a different kind of risk, and it forces them to come face to face with the greatest danger of all. Fear of a life without the other.
148 notes · View notes
gayspock · 3 years
Text
more scattered trek thoughts abt other episodes ive seen since my last dump too help girl
1. forewarning i ramble for ten minutes abt this topic as a run up to like. what is ultimately commentary on absolute mediocrity. but like- listen, i really do HATE trek episodes where, like... there's a one off love interest for the episode, and thats the plot.
like don't get me wrong? there might be some exceptions that i cant quite think, off the top of my head- and for the most part, im not talking abt episodes where they re-encounter an old love interest (like rejoined) even if they havent been mentioned before or sth BUT... overwhelmingly yeah. yeah i just think they mostly all fucking suck.
like i just dont think it works - always trying to rush a romance, insist that theyre significantly in love, under an hour. bc even if there could be any chemistry (after all there's plenty of instances where characters DO have chemistry with one time appearances) any of it is shot and any depth seems to be brushed over for like. overtures of like canned romance bc they want to make it as explicit as possible but they really cant do it efficiently and icly enough in the time frame and this and that and this and that..
like the one absolutely perfect instance of it all going wrong was meridian, where i think jadzia and that guy COULD have had plenty of chemistry with that guy and there's ways that plot could have WORKED but they spent their time doing really superficial performances of romance to show that they like each other rather than actually developing an actual working dynamic between the characters. like i think if you made that episode could have been really cool (its a cool fucking idea) but focussed less on that, and more on the actual story... actually BUILD them and the situation.... whilst i dont think you'd get to "theyre in love<3" you could form a sincere and heartfelt bond between them, when it came to the inevitable tragedy at the end.
like if you had her work with this scientist for the whole ep trying desperately to find a way to save this planet from its fate of disappearing, and really played into that tragedy - and hell, even if you DID have jadzia try to stay there, like she tries in the actual episode... there's ways you could work that into the plot, have her still try to make that sacrifice and fail and like. have her recognise that guy and that planet for what is going to be lost- that just feels way more sincere than what they tried to do, and again thats like... thats really what feels like is the problem with so much of the one ep romances, bc it like also just ROBS them of their actual personality to make it fit the confines of a script and just reduces them to these stock charcters with no heart and its so meaningless and it ultimately. really does not therefore express anything about anyone-
however. and this is a big however. literally ALL of this being said... there are one or two instances where i feel like it does work - and thats specifically when it either: 1) is exploring a concept in of itself (the host from tng comes to mind) but thats so rare, in my opinion; OR... when it does actually make sense to explore how a character in particular might navigate relationships and it being more of an exploration of that than the actual romance itself, and that lends itself best to first time instances and stuff i feel like.
In Theory for example from tng works i do feel like. like that relationship between data and uhhh. idk what her name is. but yeah that was never supposed to work out in the time frame and they were both misguided in it. and it was moreso a demonstration of how data would act in that sort of situation - how typical romance is not at all typical for him...
... and hm. thats where all this run up comes to. bc yeha. odo is literally one of those cases.
because i did not HATE A Simple Investigation, by token of it clearly... at least having a purpose, i feel like, and it being more meaningful than what Meridian was? or any of the weird one off romance eps. like it makes sense to try and have some insight into odo and relationships and whilst i jsut... i feel like it could have been better, could have been done way better, and by god i never want to see half naked odo again-
HELLO. INTERMISSION. ODO SLIMES HIMSELF NIPPLES. EXTREMELY FUCKINH FUNNY TO ME. MEEEE TRYINGON AEROLA SIZES HIII<3
-but it was still. LACKING i feel in some regard, but im just not sure what? because the characterisation isnt half bad but theres just.... hm. maybe it was the pacing? maybe it was too much exposition in the beginning, and... just an odd focus on the wrong things here and there.
episode aside. i think ultimately this does come back to odo/kira. which i still stand by, you know? althoughi think- i think theyre trying to revisit that again, now (just finished children of time). and i think they get together, yeah? okay like- theres lots ot say about this, now.
FIRST of all. i dont mind kira having background love interests. but i sort of... im frustrated, i guess. bc on one hand im fine with that in theory, sort of? like im fineish with cassidy, for example- this idea of bg romances is not something im against, and of very minor characters existing here and there, because cassidy isnt at all characterised ONLY by her relationship to sisko and theyre both separate and very independent characters and it does make sense that she can just... sort of be in the background, and she is very separate in the sense of like she really isnt tied up in much else - but ive expressed my irritation over how they keep doing keiko dirty bc it feels wrong to relegate her to bg status when they centre so much of miles' character on how he's the married guy and .....
MY POINT is. i dont really get it with kira at all bc its like her guys just sort of disappear and get forgotten about. and i feel like its porbably... potentially like more of a logistics thing maybe of what they can and cant do i do sometimes get that vibe. but like also like. there was a period where i genuinely thought she had broken up with shakaar and god confused when they mentioned him again. and the other thing is- YES bareil and shakaar were both, like, separate, but also... they were set up as important bajoran figures?? who just?? eventually did NOTHING and i think that also plays into my own irritation about like. them not doing ENOUGH with bajor itself especially not any more like it feels like such a sad thing to keep pushing aside- and i really miss some of the smaller time politics of the earlier seasons in that regard, bc whilst the show has definitely overall improved so much yeah. yeah yeah i dont think thats sth we had to lose, you know? like there's so much focus elsewhere now we kinda. forget abt the actual setup here-
AND IM GETTING AWAY FROM MYSELF. i just feel like a lot of kira's love interests have just been set up to mean something and then they just waste them and then write them out when they realise they exist again and its frustrating in many regards esp bc it just serves to do nothing, except... act as a roadblock for odo i guess? but the relationships are so unsubstantial- that attempting to do this whole "oh poor guy, she's with someone else" just... feels sort of irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, bc the guys themselves are well. respectfully irrelevant, as the show writes them to be
and idk. i was sort of fine with kira/odo happening even if i dont think they work as a couple at all. like i said: weird shipper mentality does sort of flatten out so many dynamics sometimes, lord, bc i dont at all ship them but like... like i HAVE said think at some point they could have realised a relationship, and had some sort of exploration there. and i think thats sort of PERHAPS part of what made this ep fall a little short for me because i feel like... it had its potential, but a more extended exploration with kira/odo would have made more sense with what they have been implying.
(and for the record: thats not me saying i prefer kira/odo as a narrative choice. i think odo having a single episode dedicated to him trying to figure out what humanoid relationships are to him in particular is enough to touch on it, honestly? but again- theyve been laying this groundwork and so in the context of the show its like... yeah)
and so now it feels a little redundant to go BACK to kira/odo now, especially when like.. what? it was put on the back burner for like well over a season now, i honestly thought they were just dropping it. and so now overall im just not so sure if i still want it to go ahead but i feel like it will and i feel like... its just going through the motions of a romance, which is absolutely the last thing i wanted between them -_- bc like i said i dont at all think they shoudl be like this "endgame" thing thats built up over the whole show. like ive said before: i think it makes sense for them to end up together in an incidental way before realising their actual feelings, that it doesnt work and then parting, both better off and grown people ... that sort of relationship where you both kinda cheirsh the time even if it didnt work out like that and they realise theyre just besties
anyways. i think thats all i had to say but theres sth else on the tip of my tongue ahrgh i'll realise it later except when i do i wont even say it help girl...
2. on an actually very similar note, though, im thinking of worf and jadzia.
theres some parts of their executino that does... rub me the wrong way a LITTLE bit? its strange. it does make me think of VERY early (like tng era) miles/keiko sometimes. bc here's the thing: i LIKE that they have friction. both of those couples. miles and keiko especially recently in ds9... the very natural compromises you have to make as two separate people in a longterm relationship? yeah its nice to explore it, you know. the o'briens in general are genuinely a nice quality to have in a show like trek- grounding in their own way. anyways. however there were some instances with keiko/miles early on, as there sometimes are with worf/jadzia that just make me go... eeepkffj ahrhg.
and its hard to point at it specifically. bc like i said im fine with them clashing a little. but theres just these instances where its just... ever so slightly off and wrong and it feels a bit too much of something, and it lacks a little subtlty at times. i mean truthfully keiko/miles were WAY worse when they were first introduced (i thought the drama in data's day just didnt really make that much sense, nor did their few appearances in tng) but yeah hmmm.
either way. ultimately- yeah i really do actually like them together but also. especially in terms of what it gives both the characters.
like, i think... THE THING IS I REALLY LOVE JADZIA, and dax in particular is such a good concept that has a lot of inherent depth to it in of itself. not to be annoying but its very timelordesque<3 and it rocks- i feel like trills dw, with the way its written, neever gets to properly explore the idea of identity across regenerations the way trills can. BUT there was some more... personable qualities to jadzia that felt a little unrealised? that really are coming out more, with how she is with worf. like we get to see HER.
one issue we did have a lot with jadzia in the beginning, for example, was a lot of the dax-centric eps to begin with werent really about HER and her own perspective but the concept of her. which is fine but yeah it does feel very impersonal and i think whilst it made me really LOVE her it didnt make me LIKE her if that makes any sense whatsoever. and that did get better over time! we got to see more of our lovely jadzia- but she still hasn't had... that much of an arc herself? and so now she has worf... yeah, its nice to see her really being explored herself bcespecially putting her with another character in particular GIVES you moments of conversation and action to facilitate getting to know her
and with worf. my god. ok im still not a total fan of klingon episodes. but can i say? HAVING JADZIA ACCOMPANY WORF ON KLINGON STORIES, IS A BILLION TIMES BETTER THAN BLOODY PICARD. sorry- sorry1!! sSORRY? listen im harsh on picard a lot (is it me being slightly obstinate, yes, i dont think hes that bad- but im compensating for the fanboys who blow smoke up his ass<3) but for real he genuinely was so out of place in klingon stories when he was there. like he made no sense in the plot and it was always those instances where like... he was literally just hanging around, everyone else was moving it forward and then he'd come in at the end and finish it and for what point? for what purpose? like it wasnt your conclusion to make, bestie.... this wasnt your narrative but i guess uh. go ahead ?
anyways. jadzia makes more sense. a better dynamic with worf. actual connections to klingons in general. and she can still sort of serve as a tool for exposition, like picard did, but it can be more subtle or at the very least make more sense. and bc of all of this- she can actually get involved in the story? and be an actual integral part of the plot? which helps the klingon eps go down a little easier, for me. i still find them a little too detached in a way im not fond of but... YEAH. and whilst im still not entirely sure about worf's presence on the show for himself (? i just feel like... theres not TOO many places he, as a character, can go in this environment with it being interesting and stuff) yeah you know sure <2 hi worf and IM SLOWLY BURNING MYSELF OUT WITH THIS RAMBLING
3. I THINK i waslaos going to ramble about quark but lets table this for later kiss . kiss. KISS!
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Meeting and Dating Tim Sullivan
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(My gif)(Requested by anonymous)
(This movie was genuinely amazing. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.)
- There isn’t an exact memory that you can recall when explaining how you met Tim. It was probably some time around the first grade; you knew you’d gone to the same school since then. You also knew that you’d drifted in and out of each other’s lives; through being placed in the same classes, after that.
- Regardless, you and him weren’t close, not for a long time at least. You were aware of each other’s existence sure, but only as peers, passing faces on the classroom or hallway.
- It wasn’t until around the seventh grade that you actually became acquainted. It was around that time that you started using your allowance to visit the comic stand after school. That was where Tim first became interested in you, him and the other; at the time, two boys.
- You’d just finished buying an issue and were beginning to walk home when him and his friends rolled up on their bikes. You glanced at them for a moment as you continued to walk, noticing that their eyes moved from the comic in your hands to your face in surprise. You paid it no mind.
- You were the topic of conversation for nearly an hour. They voiced their disbelief, then made some raunchy comments, and then, they trailed off with an earnest “maybe we should, I don’t know, ask if she wants to hang out or something.”.
- They were kind of at a loss; a pretty girl who likes comics was a weeks worth of soapy rag material. They all just stopped mentioning you and moved onto a different topic after that.
- The next day, the boys lingered at the front entrance, pretending like they weren’t watching you as you walked towards the school, pausing as you waited for the first bell to ring.
“Well, is anybody gonna go talk to her?” Tim had been the first one to speak. Everyone remained silent and he scoffed. “Fine you pansies, I’ll do it.”
- As you can imagine, you were a bit surprised to be approached by the boy as you leaned against the school gate. You politely returned his greeting before glancing back at the school awkwardly.
“So...swamp thing, huh?”
-The comment threw you for a loop until you remembered the previous day. Nodding, you expressed your interest in the comic and asked if he was a fan as well, prompting a mini conversation that was interrupted by the bell ringing.
- Just before the two of you said goodbye, he invited you to hang out with him and his friends after school, an offer you awkwardly; somewhat, accepted as you began to walk inside.
“Yeah, I mean that should be fine. …See ya.”
- They waited for you in front of the school after classes let out, debating with each other on whether they should just go as you were a bit late. Thankfully though, you showed up at just the right time, apologizing and explaining that Assumpta had kept you late to help her after class.
- They all sweetly assured you that it was fine, as though half of them weren’t just planning on ditching you. And thus, you began your journey to their usual hangout and your subsequent friendship with the group of boys.
- Fast forward a year or so, you’re a certified member of the group, contributor to the comic, and Tim's “secret” crush. Everyone in the group besides you knows that he has a thing for you and it’s one of the few things they can actually make fun of him for.
- It’s around that time that you realize you like him too and; unable to deal with your sudden feelings, start acting all quiet and sort of weird around him. He takes notice of your hesitance to be alone with him and your odd behavior and the next time you wind up alone together, he asks you about it. You insist that nothing is wrong and he starts to badger you. 
- One thing leads to another and soon enough you’re wrestling each other around the room. After a bit of struggling, you manage to pin him down, angrily telling him to shut up as you straddle his torso. Both your chests are heaving as you stare down at him and he stares up at you. You stay like that for a long, quiet moment before you climb off of him, grabbing your things and booking it out of your gangs little hideout. 
- He lays on the floor for a while before he leaves as well, showing up at your house later that day and acting like nothing happened, convincing you to come do something with him. In an effort to forget about what happened and just smooth things over, you agree. 
- Soon enough, everything is back to normal, but after a while of the two of you busying yourselves with whatever it is you were doing, silence falls upon you and he asks if you “want to talk about it”. 
- You tell him you like a guy and he nods, his heart clenching in his chest as he teases you lightly. He asks you who it is and you remain quiet. He nudges you with his shoulder and begins to teasingly pester you until you tell him it’s someone in your group. You cant even begin to imagine how shitty that makes him feel. 
“Francis?” He asks, almost as though he already knows the answer. Your denying it genuinely surprises him. “Wade?” Wrong again.“...Joey?” he asks as though it’s the most unbelievable thing he’s ever heard. You shake your head  without looking at him. 
“Then...,” The two of you sit in silence as it dawns on him. You remain silent when he finally, tentatively asks “Me?”
“Can I kiss you?” You turn your head to look at him before slowly nodding, a small smile threatens to pull at his lips as he leans in.
- His hand hovers at the side of your face as he softly presses his lips to yours. When you break apart, you look into each others eyes for a long moment before his hand finally touches your skin and he kisses you again; this time with more confidence. 
- The two of you spend the rest of the day stealing kisses and wandering around the overgrown and abandoned parts of town. You suppose you could consider this your first date, mainly because it’s so similar to what you usually do for “dates”. 
- And thus, you begin your relationship with the rebellious alter boy. 
- Not a lot of Pda happens in your relationship. You’re both sorta young and inexperienced so there’s that constant “should I, shouldn’t I” internal debate when it comes to affection. Most of the time, he leans towards the “wait until you’re alone” side of things.
- That being said, when you are alone, he’s much more willing to be affectionate; albeit it with a bit of juvenile hesitance.
- While he certainly wouldn’t mind feeling you up, he’s sort of more interested in the innocent aspects of romance. He isn’t really in a huge rush to “make it” with you; he likes kissing and hugging just fine.
- Shoulder kisses.
- Soft, sorta slow kisses. When you first got together, you hadn’t expected him to be so ...sweet when he kissed you. You expected hard and quick but you were pleasantly surprised.
- Makeout sessions.
- Kissing you is therapeutic for him. Whenever he just wants to get away from the world, he likes to lean over and press his lips to yours.
- He likes to be the big spoon and nuzzle his forehead into your hair/back of your neck. With that being said, he can cuddle in just about any position the place you’re in will allow.
- He likes your odd quirks, he thinks they make you cool. You’re out of the ordinary and so is he; you make a good couple.
- Constant teasing.
- As much as he likes to tease you, he likes to compliment you just as much. He’s always eager to tell you when you do something well, insisting that you do or that it’s true when you try to brush off his praise.
- He gives you a specific nickname, something that only he would ever call you. He likes having that special little connection.
- Getting notes sent to you. Excuse me, poems with notes at the end.
- He’s obviously got a pretty rough home life and has dealt with some tough shit over the past few years. He doesn’t really like talking about it so you just have to be there for him when he wants to hang out and get away from it all; though he’s sort of used to it by now.
- He doesn’t invite you over a lot, for obvious reasons.
- Sneaking out at night to go hang out with him.
- Spending hours together. The two of you are out of your houses from early in the morning to late at night whenever you can be.
- You act like really close friends more than you do a couple at times, most people at your school sort of assume you’re just friends because of it.
- The two of you sort of just hang out together rather than go out on typical dates.
- Reading comics. He likes either lying his head on your shoulder or having you lay your head on his.
- Riding your bikes together.
- Dates at abandoned buildings.
- Walking through the woods and marshes together.
- Skinny dipping/swimming in the lakes of your town.
- Cloud gazing. You lay together and just stare at the sky.
- You’ve significantly lowered his need to make trouble since you’re always there when he’s bored. Does he want to go destroy something or kiss you? Its a hard decision.
- Deep, sometimes dark conversations. He’s been forced to grow up sort of quickly and because of that he knows just how cruel the world can be. Sometimes, he just can’t help but talk to you about it and, sometimes without even realizing it, ruin your wall of innocence and naivety.
- Dark humor and morbid jokes. He’s a sick monkey.
- Whenever he gets a cut, scrape or bruise, he’ll always teasingly ask you to kiss it. He tells himself that he’s just messing with you but whenever you actually do do it, he’s both flustered and pleased.
- I feel like Tim would use any injury he gets to draw your attention to him, even if it really doesnt hurt that much. It would be especially common before the two of you started dating. He just likes having you focused on him and touching him gently.
- Drawing and writing on his cast.
- Helping him with his pranks. He always tells you that he can’t do it without you; he knows that it breaks your resolve.
- He’s an adrenaline junkie; he likes dangerous stunts and getting his heart racing so expect to be involved in a few scenarios that would give your parents a heart attack.
- Getting high/drunk with him or just dealing with him while he’s high/drunk. Don’t worry, he’s usually pretty mellow, especially when he gets high.
- He can notice when something’s wrong and will always ask “whats the matter with you”. He’s usually pretty good at making you feel better, even if it’s just by saying something stupid and not judging you.
- Just a fair warning, you shouldn’t trust him with secrets that involve people he knows or involves something that he might just so happen to leak into a conversation.
- Tim hates being ignored, mainly because hes so ignored at home. He always gets sorta angry/upset when you don’t give him attention.
- He can get really jealous in certain situations though he’s just a jealous person in general. It’s primarily because he cares about you so much and doesnt want to take a chance on having the one real good thing in his life leaving him.
- He’s not necessarily protective but he is caring. He’s always looking after you, even when you’re fighting or angry with each other. He doesn’t ever want anything happening to you.
- Aren’t you even gonna ask me if I’m pissed? I wouldn’t say Tim has a short temper but certain things do make him really angry and will cause the two of you to fight. He doesn’t yell, he hates yelling, but he will say the occasional insulting thing or tell you; very seriously, not to do something ever again.
- That being said, he calms down very quickly and remains calm if you’re the one who’s upset. He earnestly asks if you want to talk about it when you seem to just be upset because of something else, even if you just tore into him.
- He always tries to just ignore the fact that you’ve been fighting and move on, smoothing things over like they never happened. He doesn’t need an apology but if he thinks you deserve one, he’ll give it to you.
- He doesn’t tell you he loves you very often but he’ll occasionally surprise you with one, usually when you least expect it or when he’s really thinking about how much you mean to him and how well you treat him.
- Tim doesn’t talk about the future with you very often, sometimes he’ll mention something he wants to do in life or jokingly talk about what you’re gonna do together but that’s about it.
- As awful as his parents marriage is, it surprisingly hasn’t ruined his view on the matter. He; very maturely, tells himself that he’ll never be like them and that when; not if, the two of you get married, you’ll be so much better.
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tylerwritez · 3 years
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7:45 p.m. Sunday June 20th
Okay well... writing about the entirety of my day is gonna be. Quite the task.
Whatever. I'm dedicated to making this blog A Thing.
Today was Father's Day, so the first thing I did was get up and go downstairs. Gave my dad his presents. He made us pancakes. (I definitely ate too much today... but tommorow is monday so itll be easier to restrict)
We are, watched youtube, then we drove to Wabuman Lake. Idk,, the drive was just that: a typical car ride in which I struggle to find "car friendly" songs, aka songs that everyone will like... aka anything but metal and vocaloid... aka Radiohead, Weezer and Soda Stereo XD
When we got there, we rented a yellow paddleboat, which is this clunky plastic boat that you pedal to move, like some weird water bicycle. It was sunny, and honestly? I've always found being on the water to be calming. After that, we got ice cream (I got Blueberry Cheesecake flavour, my sister R got Cookies N Cream, and my dad got Burgundy Cherry)
I noted that there were at least 2 historical buildings there, along with... I forgot what I was gonna say. Nothing important.
Oh yeah, lots of cool old shiny cars.
We drove back. Got home, exhausted. I cleaned a bit. Idk. Didnt do much until after supper. Since we had fast food for lunch, we only ate a piece of bread and fruit smoothies for supper. We went out, I got a monster XD even tho my parents told me not to...
I got home, took a shower. While I was in the shower my dad got pissed at me for eating some of his chocolate but HE WAS SO SO SO MAD I was thinking to myself he cant be this mad over some choclate but you never know with my parents... they kinda hate me but also dont at the same time it's weird and hard to navigate.
Anwyays when I went downstairs he just. Seemed to have forgotten it ever existed and I mean, if he didnt mention it I wasn't gonna either. I did some homework then "went to sleep" aka went to my room, turned off the light, and pretended to sleep but actually talked to people online
People keep inviting me to hang out with them and I just hope my parents say yes to it all...
My friend Bee on Tuesday, Jay on Wednesday, on Saturday a group picnic...
If they say no to any of this I'll cry /hj
My talk with Jay tonight: I want to fuck him again RIGHT NOW. GET IN MY FUCKINF BED. RIGHT NOWWWW ugh. But also I noticed that since I explained one of my tone tags to him... HE USED ONE IN CONVO WITH ME. And idk. That made me so happy? I dont  know. I like how he proves consistently and constantly that he CARES about being considerate and cares about me.
That's a lot of the letter C but yeah.
And he said at some point that he missed
My body... and my shitty nerd gaming stuff and like. Omg he LIKES MY INTERESTS. I DIDNT BORE HIM TALKING ABOUT COMIC BOOKS AND VIDEO GAMES! SCORE. also he said he'd be down to cuddle without fucking which is. Great too... since I'm touchstarved and well... I call him Daddy. Nuff said.
As for Star... sometimes she just says shit that concerns me like it's nothing and I never know how to respond because I cant help her! I'm not a fucking mental health professional.
... when I told her mY shit she wasnt one either... why do I even try n help. Why dont I just tell her to go to therapy?
I'm angry at her a bit actually. She says shit like "haha just purged" and I'm like.... okay??? What do u want me to say to that.
Or like,,, I NEED TONE TAGS, OKAY??? I DO. this is mainly why I'm mad. She keeps making jokes without /j and I dont register them as jokes.... or maybe they aren't jokes at all and she just says they're jokes cos I get upset.
Sometimes instead of actually telling me how she feels, she uses this emoticon and... I dont understand what shes tryna tell me. And it keeps stressing me out. Idk. I told her look I dont understand it and she said "I'm tired of this Jude, it's a fucking emoticon" and like...
She tells me all the time no ur not overreacting dont let people tell you that you are and here she is. Telling me I'm overreacting. OUCH. THAT ACTUALLY MADE ME CRY IRL. STOP INVALIDATING MY FEELINGS PLEASE.
It actually  hurt me. Like I'm fr crying right now because. Ouch. How hard is it to just put a fucking "/j" after ur words? How hard is it to... use words and explain how u feel instead of giving me a straight faced emoticon. Its frustrating.
Also she keeps saying shit like "omg ur never horny what's wrong w u omg I'm the only one with a sex drive in this relationship how come u never initiate anything I need to fuck someone maybe *sends pic of model* maybe her" which like. A) is ignoring all the times I DID initiate stuff and B) makes me feel inadequate and like. I dont know. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not enough.
:/ I cant really be mad at her for my own brain being stupid.
Why am I so stupid? How come I never understand when people are joking? How come I have these weird things I do to feel comfortable? Why do I twitch and flap my wrists? Why is my ability to sleep restricted by the amount of weight on top of me (I need lots of weight)?
Why am I the worst person ever? I'm being 100 percent serious. My brain doesnt work! It doesnt. My emotions are too strong. They fuck everything up. I hate myself. Like, when Star said "I'm tired of this Jude, it's a fucking emoticon", I started crying. But when Jay said "I always want you to feel comfortable around me", I immediately felt such love toward him and I told him I love you... but I had to say it was as friends. Cos we have a "friends with benefits" thing going on... not even an actual relationship.
Well now I'm sad that he doesnt like me romantically but whatever. Hes too perfect and sweet anywayssss he deserves better than me.
Wait. Where does that leave me?
Alone? Again?
Alone?
ALONE????
Maybe I deserve it... but I actually genuinely cant live like that. I cant. I cant live. Without love. My parents fucked me up like that 🤪
But also I realized that I'm a lot happier in good relationships where people show me they love me and care about me and such.
FUCK JAY JUST TOLD ME HOW MUCH HE LIKES ME... even if it's just as a friendship thing.... I appreciate it so much. Hes so fucking sweet it hurts. I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM SO SO MUCH. he told me, our sex can be rough but our relationship has to be built off trust and respect... LITERALLY FUCK ME RIGHT NOW.
Update we are now officially "best friends forever" but we also kiss and fuck and cuddle okay. That's a thing. I LOVE HIM. it's okay though. I don't know I said yeah let's be bffs then I physcially cringed. It's okay though. I'll be fine. It functions as a sexy romance thing anwyays.
I love him so much. Hes the best. Fucking hell. Hes the kindest person ever.
Also can Star please stop fucking with me. She said she'd stop using the emoticon and I said "thanks" and then she used a weird emoji to react to my thanks because she wanted to "acknowledge that she read my message without liking it".... oh so you dont like it??? What??? I said "okay" and she was like "yikes, you upset?" And I said idk cos I am but whatever and she USED ANOTHER SFUPID DUCKINF EMOTICON THAT I DONT UNDERSTAND WITH THE WORD OKAY OMFG. OMFG. PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT THAT MEANDS. OH MY GODDDD. I'm angry.
Fucking hell. I just wish... whatever.
If Jay liked me ROMANTICALLY as well...  perfect life.
Whatever.
My parents have fucked me up really badly. I know so. Today I saw a comic where a kid started crying while getting yelled at and their mom HUGGED THEM. Omfg. If I cry when my parents yell at me they just yell more. The best thing I can do is stay quiet. Fucking hell. Fuck. I wish I got hugged. When I was upset.
Its 1:03 am. Fuck all this emotional turmoil I'm SLEEPING. Fuck this. FUCK MY PARENTS, FUCK STAR, FUCK MOVING AND FUCK SCHOOL. And FUCK STAR.
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moontours · 4 years
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can you talk more about Iron Man 2 Natasha versus other Natashas?? I feel pure joy when I see it <3
sure <333 ill break it up into sections by movie
iron man 2: shes literally the love of my life and the reason why i even started liking natasha in general but like outside of My personal feelings i do think this is the best iteration of natasha by far. her cover story for stark industries was SO good like do u know how clever u have to be to get around tony’s systems? and imo its literally the ONLY time in the mcu where we get to see natasha being a SPY even though thats a large part of her skillset. i loved the hallway scene in the end where she got to show off and literally singlehandedly take down all those guards and i loved the moment between her and tony before his birthday party. it was honest, vulnerable but subtle enough that it makes SENSE for natasha’s character. 
the avengers: hmm. probably my second favourite iteration of nat. i loved the beginning with her at her mission and then her manipulating bruce, i thought those scenes were both in character. also, ive seen ppl say that they hate that first scene where nat is being interrogated bc it makes her appear as weak when ?? i feel like it does the opposite ?? like shes literally only still tied up bc she wants to be, so that she can get more information. she is literally in control there, she was just waiting for the time to strike n had to do it sooner than later bc of clont getting compromised. anyways idk i like ta!nat i think shes fine but theres not much in terms of like. anything else other than Badass Character, u feel? also i HATED how scared she was of bruce/hulk. it left a bad taste in my mouth n i cant believe they tried a romance there after
winter soldier: maybe controversial but i hate her in this movie jrbjhabsjd or i guess hate is a strong word but i dont like her in this movie. like first of all the role shouldnt have even been hers??? it shouldve been sharon’s and it was supposed to be until they decided to replace sharon with her. her characterization in this movie is literally god-awful which imo led to her shitty characterization in endgame. she was genuinely humiliating when she tried to go undercover in this like idc how brief it is shes always ready (in dd v2 she literally wore a FULL disguise to visit matt as work when there was a lot of press so she wouldnt gain any attention for him. foggy didnt recognize her til she took off her wig) so the fact that she would put on a HOODIE ??? AND GO ??? TO A PLACE WHERE THERES CLEARLY CAMERAS ??? humiliating. the part where she was like 🥺🥺 would u trust me to save ur life ?? humiliating. natasha doesnt give a SHIT about what people think of her. frankly, all steve did up to that point was heavily judge her so she shouldnt care abt what he thinks. they obviously tried to make her a more emotional character in this but it just came off wrong lmao. i did like her last scenes though
age of ultron: ill keep this short—i dont like aou nat, i dont think it was a good representation of nat at all and i absolutely despise the brucenat romance with my entire heart. i did like her suit and fight scenes but thats it. theres not enough words to describe how misogynistic and wrong and disgusting it was for them to say natasha is a monster like bruce to make HIM feel better just bc she cant have children. 616 natasha sweetie.
civil war: the twist of her being the one to change sides was so lame i literally have to laugh like omg wowow the former spy ended up switching sides how unexpected i cant believe no one saw that coming. her being on tony’s side was the right call and the switch was stupid thats all lmao they just wanted her to stay with steve and sam after the team broke up which is literally stupid bc either way she shouldve been on her own. irritashun
infinity war: honestly not much to say she only had 6 minutes and all she did was Fight ppl so it was ur typical portrayal of nat. her eyebrows and hair were atrocious though. it shouldve been black hair as a nod to 616 nat’s tendency to dye her hair black in the old comics
endgame: oh boy where to even start. this is my least favourite iteration of nat in the entire mcu. i literally did not recognize her for a SECOND. before the movie came out, sc/rjo talked abt how we would see a pissed off nat ready to take action and i was really excited because THAT sounded like the nat i knew. but when the movie actually came, we saw her ?? moping ?? crying ?? eating a sad ass sandwich by herself ?? basically doing the emotional labour for the team because god forbid any of the men do it ??????? and the fact that they CUT OUT ALL OF HER COPING SCENES TOO LIKE THE TARGET PRACTICE, THE PUNCHING BAG??? i cant jbhjabsdhj it makes me SO fucking furious that they would make her some overly emotional character—like not to say that its a bad thing to be that, its not, but it’s also NOT natasha in any way. ive said this before but natasha’s grief almost ALWAYS manifests in the form of anger and u can explicitly see that in secret empire when she cries by herself for a minute, composes herself and gets ready to kill stevil. u can see that during hickmanvengers when its HER that realizes this is more than just taking sides, theres a bigger fight. i wanted so desperately to see a pissed-off nat and i was literally lied to. n then her ending lmao?!?!?!?! i dont even want to touch on that bc its going to get me so fucking mad jrbhavshgd abut i will talk abt it briefly: FUCK her ending FUCK the russos FUCK m&m and FUCK everyone who said this was empowering. it wasnt. she literally died for HER family, who she decided wasnt as important as clint’s blood family. thats BULLSHIT. its so stupid and the fact that she wasnt even able to reunite with everyone?? the fact that she died in the SAME DISGUSTING MANNER that gamora did???? like she didnt even make it to the FINAL BATTLE. how on earth do u treat ur first female hero (and one of the first female leads of the mcu in general) like that????? the fact that they didnt even give her a proper funeral bc they said that natasha is ~private~ like shes not some fucking loner or recluse. at the very least, we shouldve seen them mourning her properly (steve shedding one tear and bruce throwing shit around doesnt count) but they really said fuck women xo
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skips-is-asleep · 4 years
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Ranking All The Sollux Ships In Character Order
Firstly i wanna make it clear that i headcanon sollux as bisexual (fucking obviously) so genders not a factor in any of my reads of the ships
June/Sollux: This one’s really crack-ey. I used to be super fucking into it but now it’s like…only good in theory i guess. 3/10
Rose/Sollux: Pale? Perhaps. Ive seen some good stuff for them pale, it’s pretty interesting to think about, especially considering how similar he is to Dave and how THEY get along together. 4/10 Potential
Dave/Sollux: Like i said, i read sollux and dave as pretty clear character parallels. Dave might get a kick out of verbally T-Bagging him but i think Sollux would quickly get annoyed, perhaps a spur of the moment pitch fling? maybe theyre pitch friends with benefits but only very rarely and sollux cant stand him any other time? All good ideas! 5/10
Jade/Sollux: I could definitely see it! Theyre first meeting has them hitting it off pretty well, I think sollux would really like her, but i dunno if she’d really like him all that much. 5/10
Aradia/Sollux: Timeless, literally. Flavor is immaculate. I prefer them pale FOR SURE, and i always have. Ive never read any of their relationships, chemistry, or conversations as THAT kind of romantic, but i think its super valid for people who do read it that way 12/10
Tavros/Sollux: TavSol is SO UNDERRATED. It’s SO CUTE. Tavros would be comfortable enough to sass Sollux just right and sollux would be taken so off guard by it, he’d find it hilarious, like a baby saying a swear word. They’re fidusspawn buddies, theyre Friend’s with Aradia Buddies, like theyre actually so fucking cute, open your eyes 6/10
Karkat/Sollux: Do i have to talk about this one. Do i have to– Okay so This is Actually The Best Sollux Ship Ever Ya;ll are Wrong About Everything And I Am Right 20000000000000000/10
Nepeta/Sollux: I dont have a lot to say about this one. Does anyone? I dont know a lot about nepeta and i dont have any friends who love her, so i could only guess if she’d actually want to get along with him, or if his personality would be offputting to her. Then again, she canonically had/has a crush on karkat, so maybe sollux’s Ability To Respect Women would make him look appealing. Maybe she’d ask him for advice on how to ask out karkat and hed WANT to give her bad advice because he wants to piss off and embarrass karkat, but nepeta just looks so innocent and genuine in her feelings, he can’t bring himself to do it 5/10
Kanaya/Sollux: Pale, obviously and WOW, top notch. Theyre very very good friends, good moirails, she mothers the hell out of him and he does little errands for her. She taught him how to mend his own clothes so he can do it himself and not depend on her, but they still do it together. Also if you read that one really dumb fic i wrote, i headcanon that they have tea parties even though sollux doesnt like tea 8/10
Terezi/Sollux: Pale again, very VERY cute. Writing this fic was so much fun, i loved how they interact with each other here. And in the comics, he’s so  surprised that she calls him cool like “oh my god she thinks im cool” AndD WHEN HE WENT BLIND SHE WAS THE FIRST PERSON HE WANTED TO TALK TO THATS SO CUTE WHY DONT MORE PEOPLE SHIP THIS 8.5/10
Vriska/Sollux: sound byte of that clip from Weird Al’s “I’ll sue ya” Do i even need a reason?? 0/10
Equius/Sollux: Okay ya know what, THIS IS A GOLDMINE yall are SLEEPING on equisol. My friends cannot get me to stop talking about this, but i dont think ive had the opportunity here to talk about it. Imagine Equius just flat out not believe that sollux is at all capable as a psionic bc he’s so scrawny and wimpy, and even when sollux grinds his teeth into the pavement, it still frustrates him that he could be so much STRONGER if he put the effort into it, “You could be strong in TWO WAYS, sollux” and yeah that does sound appealing to him, but seeing equius get so fucking mad that he’s not ripped but is still able to knock his ass down is so funny it’s almost not attractive. He definitly doesn’t tell people he has a pitch crush on equius, ESPECIALLY NOT KARKAT ARE YOU KIDDING and threatens equius at gun point not to tell anyone because could you image, suave, cool, adorkable, gets all the ladies sollux is in a kismesistude with EQUIUS, GOD. Have ya’ll even read that paradox space comic with the two of them i swe– 9/10
Gamzee/Sollux: That same fic i linked earlier is also a pretty good interaction between them that i like? Sollux just. Cannot stand him. At all, and it’s so funny. Maybe it’s a little, tiny tiny bit pitch, he just wants to strangle him in a way that’s not ENTIRELY platonic cause maybe he’s kind of hot in a deranged  clown way? 5/10
Eridan/Sollux: Wheres the flavor? i dont taste anything, nutmeg, cinnamon, I don’t tast–No but for real, no offense to fellow homestuck old fans, erisol is kind of trash. I ADORE them when theyre beating each other within an inch of their lives. Like, sollux dropping a mall on Eridan as a “warning” and eridan shooting at him in the sky is GOLD. I prefer erisolkat, perhaps when eridan and sollux are stuck alone for way too long and have to “pass the time” somehow, and by pass the time, see how many times i can stab you before you pass out, and karkat has to take the knives away 4/10
Feferi/Sollux: This one is good, an old classic, but @zeldasoft-art made a really fucking funny post about what if they’re only pretending to date each other to piss eridan off and i lost my fucking marbles 8/10
Jane/Sollux: im not even gonna– 0/10
Roxy/Sollux: hacker buddies, tech buddies, computer buddies. Like if rivalry and one-up-manship, typical kismesis behavior had a red/pale counterpart. I feel like they’d have a lot of fun making projects together  and contests but they wouldnt be that mean or violent.
Dirk/Sollux: This is. A little bit of a guilty pleasure for me. This is basically equisol, but dirk is mean to sollux in sollux’s brand of mean, and shares sollux’s sense of humor. Imagine the two of them getting into hard roasting each other, getting more and more mean with insults until Sollux tries to make a move on him and that last insult hurt a little hard so dirk gets a little pouty or misty in the eyes cause you don’t diss a man’s MLP collection dude, those got him through a lot of rough times. The fact that dirk made Hal at all makes him like 50% more attracted to him 8/10
Jake/Sollux: He would love bullying him, so much. I dunno if there’s any romance in it or if he just hates jake in the not fun away and wants to make him cry 3/10
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violencebian · 3 years
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you know what? yeah i am creating a game concept. am i gonna be able to develop the game? no i cant code lol
//tw brief mentions of abuse, murder, mentions of kidnapping, and suicide
okay so i really like the concept of yandere games but i absolutely hate the romanticization of yanderes, so i was thinking of something that highlights the psychology surrounding yanderes. instead of focusing on the “senpai notice me!!” or murder bullshit its more so based on pyschology. 
because i don’t want to stigmatize any mental health conditions i’m not gonna base the playable character off of a mental health condition. i feel like it’d be wrong of me, so instead this character grows up in a household where the idea of romance is always pushed on them. this causes them to become obsessed with the idea of romance and they meet a guy online and develop a parasocial relationship surrounding them. they think they’re destined to be together and end up trying to find the school they go to.
of course this characters parents have BANK like they’re rich as FUUUUCK and they move there without really questioning it because their kid is spoiled and gets whatever they want. this actually plays into their motives for wanting their crush to themself.
i want the characters to morally be harder to kill, which is why i want the love interests first love interest to be down right abusive, just absolutely awful. so the player and main character can convince themselves they’re doing it to protect the love interest, from there it slowly spirals out of control and into the typical yandere “if i cant have you, no one can” shit.
i dont want it to be down right murder fest though, i want you to also be able to befriend the first rival and encourage her to go get therapy and she’ll thank you and decide that maybe she shouldn’t be with the love interest. this route is the most likely to get the player to succeed.
i really liked the idea of the probability of the love interest accepting confessions going up as time goes on, and obviously the player’s actions have influence over this. the first rival will not have their confession accepted no matter what.
going the murder route will decrease the probability of the love interest accepting others confessions but it will decrease the probability of the love interest accepting the players confession as well. if all the rivals are killed the love interest will not accept the players confession. from here the player has a few options, they can snap and kill the love interest, kidnap the love interest, kill the love interest and themself, or kill just themself.
so far thats all i got but as i flesh out more characters i’ll talk about this concept more because i think it’s a fun concept to write and work with
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gotarcher94 · 4 years
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The Witcher
So I’ve watched the first season of the Witcher on Netflix and all I can say is holy motherfucking shit. That was a good season. 
I wanted to jot down a few things that I liked about the season, bearing in mind that I haven’t yet read the books and have only played the Witcher 2 and 3. I will be using spoilers so consider this a spoiler warning.
(Also this will be a long post)
OK? OK
Henry Cavill
When Henry was announced I gotta admit I had some doubts over the casting. Not because I don’t rate him as an actor but I just couldn't picture him as Geralt. My personal pick was Zach McGowan, known for playing Charles Vane in Black Sails. He had the gruff voice, he looked like the game version of Geralt, and he even had similar hair. Just dye it white and he was good. 
But having seen the show... I recant every syllable of my foolishness.  
Henry Cavill is perfect as Geralt. He perfectly embodies the White Wolf. From his sarcastic sense of humour, to the subtle emotion on his face to the conflict he has while making the decisions he does. Absolutely perfect casting.
Anya Chalotra
Speaking of perfect casting, Anya is an incredible Yennefer of Vengerberg. Like Henry she perfectly embodies Yennefer. Anya plays the evolution of Yen superbly, from her beaten down and almost broken early days to the immensely powerful and confident sorceress she becomes later, she performs both absolutely perfectly.
And to all those who say that Anya is wrong to play Yennefer because she doesn’t “look like her”.... I cannot say shut the hell up loud enough. She was incredible and deserves all the accolades that should be sent her way.
Freya Allan
And rounding out the three main characters, the show is three for three in terms of perfect casting. I loved her independent and driven nature, continuing to keep going on despite all the trouble going her way despite only been about 11 or 12 (i think, not 100%). Her strong bond with both Queen Calanthe and Mousesack is evident, despite the relative lack of screentime devoted to it. I can’t wait to see how both the character and actress evolves over the (hopefully) seasons to come.
Geralt and Ciri
I loved the “the girl in the woods will be with you always” transition in the first episode, that eventually came full circle in the finale with the two finally meeting (with the run and hug scene!). Having seen their bond fully established in the games (I know they aren’t canon) I cant wait to see it develop on screen
Queen Calanthe
Is a badass. End of story. Ruling a kingdom, fighting at the front of every battle, effectively flipping off destiny and law of Surprise and being an incredible role model for Ciri. Absolute awesome character and Jodhi May did such an incredible job playing her.
Yennefer’s backstory
As a game only fan in terms of knowing much about the characters when I went into this season, my knowledge of Yen’s backstory was pretty much nonexistent, as I can’t remember it even being mentioned in the two games I played (of which Yen was only physically present for one). However, the show delved deep into it, and I’m glad they did. It simultaneously made us empathise fully with Yennefer but also established the basis for her desire to grow stronger and be in control of her own destiny and future, and why she was then so frustrated being in the mire of courtly intrigue, not able to grow higher.
The Yennefer and Tissaia dynamic
One of the most unexpected but welcome events of the show was the dynamic that they two shared. It was not the typical mentor and apprentice relationship and I appreciated the change from the norm. From Tissaia’s initial attempts to bring Yennefer to heel before eventually being the one to tell Yennefer to unleash her chaos during the battle at Sodden was great. 
The striga episode
I mean..... just wow. As soon as they mentioned Temeria I had a feeling that it would be the striga, as it was one of the few things that I knew about from the books. And holy shit they did not disappoint. From the investigation aspect, to the fight scene, to the music. It was incredible episode and one that I cannot wait to get back to when I re-watch the series
Battle of Sodden
The main focus of the incredible finale. I had heard of the Battle of Sodden during the games but to see it was something else. A great battle scene combined great fights, solid battle plans and incredibly cool magical skills. And also,during the night scenes, you could actually see what the fuck was happening. See GoT! It isn't hard!!
Vilgevortz
As soon as his name was revealed in the episode, I’m not gonna lie but i may have gone full fanboy. I know a little from what was mentioned in the books and have read a little from other sources about his story in the books and was immensely excited when he showed up. And I cannot wait to see his story unfold on the show and see him interact more with Yennefer and meet Geralt and Ciri.
Jaskier
From what I know, calling him Jaskier (his original name in the Polish stories) instead of the English name of Dandelion was one of the problems people had with the show. And I have to ask... does it really matter? He still acts like him, talks like him, annoys Geralt like him. He is the same character, the showrunners are just honouring his roots. 
And he brought some comic relief to the series in just the right ways, especially in the djinn and dragon hunt episodes. Joey Batey was great.
Music and Cinematography 
Both of them were absolutely fantastic. Every episode looked and sounded phenomenal. I’ve been listening to a few tracks from the soundtrack that have made it onto YouTube on repeat for a while, most notably “Toss a Coin to your Witcher”. However, one track that I really liked but haven't been able to find is the battle theme from the striga fight. If anyone could send me a link to it, I would be incredibly grateful
Fight choreography 
All of the fights this season were absolutely fantastic. Both the human fights and the monster battles. Geralt and Duny vs the Cintrian soldiers, Vilgevortz vs Cahir and (my personal favourites) Geralt vs Renfri and her gang from episode 1. All of them superb and I couldn't have asked for more from the fight scenes. 
Magic
I really like the magic system they set up in this series. Not only is it incredibly diverse (with the finale alone showing us Vilgevortz constantly creating swords, Triss making poison mushrooms grow beneath the feet of the army and Coral wiping out a whole section of the Nilgaardian army) but I really like the idea that it isn't just them tapping into a great power, that there can be a great cost to performing these spells. Not something that a lot of fantasy series do.
Cahir
He was a great antagonist throughout the season and again I know little in specifics about him but I know that he is important to Ciri’s story, so I am looking forward to seeing that develop further.
Geralt and Visenna
I loved the scene of the two of them in the finale, even if it proved to only be a dream/hallucination. The “How do you like my eyes?” line legit gave me chills. Incredible acting by Henry there
Geralt and Yennefer (Yenneralt?, I think certain parts of the fandom have settled upon)
Now, as a game only fan prior to this, my exposure to the relationship between the two of them was limited, as the games only touched upon it in the Witcher 3. Before then it was told that Geralt and Yennefer had an epic love but it was very much tell and don’t show, as Yennefer didn't appear in person until the Witcher 3 and by then CDPR had developed the Geralt and Triss romance story in the Witcher 2. And I’m not gonna lie, I was fully into their romance during my playthroughs. Not that I didn't like Yennefer but I just didn't have the same basis into their bond that the book fans did. 
After Season 1, however, I am fully onto the Geralt and Yennefer ship, having seen it develop as it did.
Methinks it may be time for another playthrough, as well as buying the books.
Things I’m looking forward to seeing on the show in the future 
1. Yennefer and Ciri meeting
2. Seeing Geralt and Ciri bonding more, with some time together at Kaer Morhen
3. Thanedd Island (eventually)
4. Zoltan! 
5. Regis!
6. Vesemir!
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the--blackdahlia · 5 years
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The Animal in Me (Tommy x Nikki)
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Title: The Animal in Me
Summary:  Nikki is struggling to think of songs for Saints of Los Angeles.
Warnings: Just language
AN: Here’s some random garbage. Enjoy
Nikki was settled on the couch in the studio, scribbling away at a notebook. He was on a deadline to make songs for Saints of Los Angeles, and while the guys from Sixx AM were helping, Nikki was determined to do one on his own. And he was really struggling to find something that captured how he was feeling. This was a big even though. This was the first time in about a decade that the four of them were back together. Generation Swine had been tense, with Vince firing shots at Tommy, and Tommy just couldn’t do it anymore.
But they were all back and finally on decent terms, some of them more than others.
Nikki chewed on his lip at he wrote some words.
Lying in my bed with his hands tied up.
He crossed out the “his” and wrote “her” before scribbling out the whole sentence. He laid his head back against the arm of the couch for a moment before looking back at the words he had. Some of it seemed like something that was going to stick, but most of it seemed like trash.
But he knew if he showed it to Tommy, Tommy would just laugh and tell him that it was amazing, like everything else he did. Because no matter what, Tommy would always be Nikki’s biggest fan. But on the other side of that, Nikki would always be his own biggest critic.
One set of words Nikki had written down got the bassist to thinking, back to about five years ago.
A kiss you cant forget
Like a wedding on a rainy day
Him and Tommy had gotten married five years ago.  Nikki could’ve sworn up and down that it was going to be sunny for the small ceremony, but LA seemed to have a freak rain storm. Nikki couldn’t forget how Tommy was trying to make the best of it, even though he ended up getting sick just a couple days into their honeymoon, no doubt because he insisted on running out in the rain to prove to Nikki that nothing could ruin their day. Tommy’s sister had convinced him to go with a white tux again, and it was completely soaked when they finally convinced Tommy to come inside.
Nikki couldn’t stop the smile that spread on his face.
“Dude, I’m okay,” Tommy said before he coughed again. “Perfect!”
“Yeah. Then why are you coughing up a lung?” Nikki asked with a laugh.
“Drink went down wrong?” Tommy smiled that cute smile at Nikki. And in that moment, Nikki couldn’t believe that they were really married.
“Nik? Where are you?” Nikki was pulled back to reality by Tommy’s voice echoing through the halls. Nikki looked up at his husband appeared in the open doorway to the studio. “Watchya up to?”
“Trying to write and failing,” Nikki told him as he dropped his feet to the floor and patted the spot by him for Tommy to come sit. The drummer flopped down on the couch and looked over Nikki’s shoulder at the notebook.
“It’s looking good,” Tommy told him. “Is this cursive?” He pointed at the scribbled out parts.
“No. It’s shit,” Nikki sighed. “Why did I agree to this new album?”
“Because Motley Crue is your baby,” Tommy told him. “And you got out all your angst with the Heroin Diaries.”
“I’m not angsty,” Nikki shook his head.
“Babe, you’re one My Chemical Romance shirt away from being the king of angst,” Tommy laughed. “But it’s okay. I still love you.”
“I love you too,” Nikki leaned over and gave Tommy a quick kiss. “Are you here to be my muse?”
“I mean, I guess,” Tommy shrugged. “But my things aren’t as big of hits as your things, so we might be screwed.”
“Yeah, but the songs I write about you typically do really good,” Nikki wrapped an arm around Tommy’s shoulder and pulled the drummer into his side. “I just don’t feel a hit for this album.”
“You don’t think the title track will be?” Tommy asked, flipping through the pages of Nikki’s notebook.
“It’s no Dr. Feelgood,” Nikki sighed.
“Babe, I don’t mean this bad, but we set the bar so fucking high with that album that everything else is kinda a let down,” Tommy told him. “But you’re such a good fucking lyricist that I believe in you.” Nikki kissed him deeply then, using the arm around his shoulders to pull him closer. There was just something about kissing him that brought out a different side of Nikki. Nikki quickly pulled back and started scribbling out words.
“Uh, okay?” Tommy laughed a little. “I’m gonna go get lunch then.” He went to stand, but Nikki grabbed his hand and pulled him back down. “Or not.”
“Can’t leave yet. Need you for inspiration,” Nikki grumbled. Tommy shook his head but stayed seated on the couch. Eventually, he drifted off while Nikki wrote. Nikki smiled when he had the song done. The Animal in Me. It was perfect. He looked over at Tommy, ready to show him his new creation, but his husband was fast asleep.
“Eh, I’ll show him later,” Nikki laid the notebook on the floor and moved so he could pull Tommy to lay on top of him.
After all, napping with a friend is pretty great.
Forever Tags: @anathewierdo​ @dekahg​ @marvel-af-imagines​ @feelmyroarrrr​ @nanie5​ @imboredsueme​ @gemini0410​ @aiaranradnay​ @babypink224221​ @mogarukes​ @xxwarhawk​ @sandlee44​ @shatteredabby​ @caswinchester2000​ @supernaturalwincestsblog​ @lauravic​ @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk​ @teller258316​ @horrorpxnk​ @tommyleeownsme​ @marvelismylifffe​ @mrslogansixxpixx​
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