#i cannot but laugh at my own stupid jokes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spoopywhiskers · 4 months

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O da misery.... every bulborb wants to be my enemy

Pikmin was alr a brainworm when i played 1 and now im playing 4 is all fucking over im all the way down the wormhole now

The rot consumes

#oc shitpost art #pikmin 4 #pikmin #silly goofy art #misery log #Misery Oda #yes thats thier full name #you see what my brain does to itself #i cannot but laugh at my own stupid jokes #hehehhe

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darubyprincx · 5 months

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me (xisuma introject), shaking xisuma by the shoulders: WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING. BOILED CHICKEN??

xisuma, mildly confused: dearie me what's this? i must've sleepwalked into the clone machine again

#x's tag #i cannot stop laughing at my own stupid joke we're supposed to be doing schoolwork right now i'm going to go back to studying for our exams #mcyt #xisuma

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eviligo · 7 months

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#i cannot even like. express the way i felt hearing him laughing at his own stupid little joke about the trash outside #and jumpscaring himself at the mannequin #my skittish fetal catboy whom i love so much please come home

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avisisisis · 29 days

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been rewatching rtte

toothless is called T multiple times, but the letter T doesn't exist in the alphabet of this world

i think hiccup was also called H???

hiccup went to the wedding of the man who tried to kill him and his family multiple times. no wonder he thought he could change drago's mind

snotlout is canonically a theater kid

"you're so small and cuddly" "please never say that again"

the twins are really smart, but they're also just stupid

hiccup straight up disappears when he's working on something

heather had a super noticeable crush on astrid

fishlegs got a love interest!! a plus size main character actually has a cool, badass love interest!

it was super hetnormative but it was cute

there was an island full of flying women who were implied to regularly commit cannibalism

hiccup taught all the riders how to fly with toothless, that's so sweet

everyone is a flat earther except for the twins

hiccup almost directly killed a lot of people

and killed a LOT more when destroying their ships

“scalding– cal..ding--" "toothle, plama bla!" was pretty much the funniest part of the entire series

dagur was bullied as a kid by a guy 8 years older than him who literally tattooed an imagine of him beating up little dagur in his arm??? What was that all about

actually we need to talk about how messed up everything about dagur is and about how the things that could've/did happen(ed) to him may be the reasons why he's Like That

just why was he imprisoned by the outcasts??? he didn't do anything to them directly

oof my brain is spiraling. "he loved you" "ig now we'll never know" what do you mean he didn't know if his dad loved him

there's a technically musical episode

tuffnut became hiccup's defense attorney and immediately got him the death sentence

hiccup regularly jumps off cliffs

he also jumped off a boat, with his arms tied and without toothless. just where did he think he was going

snotlout's annoying attitude is actually because spitelout pressures him too much and he feels like he has to be perfect for his dad :((

THE 'HICCUP'S EVIL MIRROR' VILLAIN THEME DONE RIGHT YESS!!!

viggo is the best httyd villain change my mind (you can't, swords at sundown, you may bring backup but i will win on my own)

skrill comeback skrill comeback SKRILL COMEBACK!!!!

"COMEEE TO DADDY"

what is a boar pit???

oh my god i had missed this series so much. it has no right to be this funny

this was my childhood. it has forever shaped the way i am

berserker heather the unhinged >>>

actually good disability rep! yay

hiccup complains about his peg leg pinching him

he straight up cannot walk without it and it is shown many times

"well, there are the benefits of a metal leg" after it got caught in a bear trap

funny moments, like snotlout trying to steal it to use it as a weapon

the jokes!! toothless laughing at the jokes!!! hiccup being so fucking done with the twins, who are always making the jokes!

there's an episode where everyone is so sleep deprived they actually start spiraling

astrid becomes a happy go lucky girl, hugs snotlout and tells him he's handsome

the fucking mood swings snotlout got were insane

the twins were straight up just hallucinating

"i sent them to wash their dragons, how could they mess that up?" cut to heather falling on her face with a bucket full of water in her hands

fishlegs becomes so paranoid, he's yelling at everyone all the time

"don't you know the trapper's trap can trap the trapper?? ...oh gods, i must be losing it, i'm quoting dagur"

YOOOO VALKA!!!! it's so nice to see her

hiccup tried to murder dagur to stop him from getting to toothless, which is scary bc it shows just how far he's willing to go for his bff, but also funny because hiccup. that was not going to work

oh the hiccstrid slowburn, how i have missed you

the twins's made up language

there was a beach episode turned murder mystery and a musical episode held at gun point

hiccup has a whole little speech that he periodically gives astrid to remind her that the twins serve a purpose

#i'll make more of these later #i'm just very bored and i love rtte #race to the edge #rtte #how to train your dragon #httyd #httyd rtte #toothless #hiccup horrendous haddock iii #astrid hofferson #snotlout jorgenson #fishlegs ingerman #dagur the deranged #tuffnut thorston #ruffnut thorston #heather the unhinged #avis' post

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slutforsnow · 3 months

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*evil laugh*

imagine president!coryo with a bratty!reader. Coryo hates when people talk back to him or tell him what to do.

Since he's president, nobody tells HIM what to do. expect reader🙈

"don't talk to me like that."

"aw, did i make you mad? didn't know the president was a little cry baby."

then he fucks readers brains out <3

Hold Your Tongue

Cw/TW: Coryo is his own warning tbh 💀, spanking, slut shaming? (HE WOULD), inappropriate use of piss, mean!Coryo, president!Coryo

As much as Coryo loves his dear wife, she could be a bratty bitch. Thinking she could run her mouth off to her little friends about how much their sex life had gone down since he became president and now had to attend all these fancy balls, galas, parties, and whatnot. Sure, it was nice to see his wife all dressed up like a doll and looking sexy, but running her mouth off? That was over the line.

That's how the couple landed in this situation. She had begun to run her pretty little mouth again, and one of her friends had said something along the lines of divorce.

The second the young president of Panem had ensured all the guests had left, he had bound his wife to their shared bed by her wrists, using the special handcuffs he had made for them; engraved with his last name to make sure she understood her punishment. She was also stripped of her dress and lingerie she had worn underneath it.

"I cannot believe you would allow your friends to say something so stupid," He began, slowly unbuttoning his red corset-vest. "Of all the things you had to let slide, it was a topic of divorce?"

"What's so bad about it? She was joking and drunk, I doubt she'll remember it, Coryo," She retorted, pouting a little and tugging wrists forward to try and free herself. Coryo had a tendency go purposely leave the cuffs loose enough for her so she could claw at his back, leaving red marks and little crescent moons from her nails. This time, however, the cuffs were tight enough to where she could barely wiggle her wrists. "Now, loosen the cuffs, I wanna get my makeup off!"

He didn't take lightly to her demanding tone. "Don't talk to me like that," He spat, dropping his vest on the floor, which was soon followed by his dress shirt.

"Awh, did I make you mad? I didn't know the president was a-" She was cut off by a sharp THAWCK against her skin.

Tears pricked her eyes, and she tried to blink them away. She knew Coryo was pissed, but to spank her with his belt on her thigh?

"I told you not to speak to me like that. Now look at you; crying like a little whore because I punished you like one. Don't you dare cry because there's going to be a lot more where that came from," He threatened, glaring down at her. Before she could think, Coryo raised his arm again and another thwack echoed in their bedroom.

"Now, I think we need to revisit a certain setting," He added, tossing his belt to the side and kicking his dress pants to the side, along with his black boxers.

"Wha- huh-" She questioned, semi-dazed from getting spanked only twice. Whatever strength ran through his veins really knocked the wind out of her and replaced it with dopamine.

"Don't play dumb," He chided, slamming his leaking member into her tight cunt causing her to let out a loud cry of pleasure. He continued his harsh pace while pinching and twisting her hard nipples as he marked her neck and collarbone with hickies.

All she could do while he overstimulated her body was moan, mewl, and scream his name. He was fucking the brattiness out of her, reducing her into a brainless whore, but did he care? No, he didn't care. She was going to learn one way or another.

Feeling her walls squeeze and grip on his cock, he smirked, pounding faster into her, pressing a hand to her lower abdomen. Something felt off about it this time; he could feel the bulge, which was normal, but it happened.

As Coryo was fucking his wife's brains out, she pissed while she came and he stopped his ruthless fucking. As y/n was coming down from her sex high, babbling utter nonsense, Coryo watched piss and cum leak from her folds leak onto the bed.

It was... entertaining.

Smirking to himself, he decided to continue fucking himself balls deep into her cunt, which resulted in more cries of pleasure, well more of pain this time, as he fucked y/n harder than ever before. He had to watch it again, no matter how many times it took.

Tags: @etfrin @hearts4court @snows-wife @delusionalbunni @kiraflowersworld @victory-scream0462 @curled-hair-red-lips @morallygrayboys @phoward89 @xoxo-eyeballs @thereeallink @graciouslyc @acidaciruela @wanda-maximoff-enthusiast @firstworldproblemthings

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satoruzlove · 1 year

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something about college bf ! kenma has me giggling n twirling my hair🤭

kenma that has his hair in a claw clip that you got him, now being a pro and twirling it into said clip

kenma that gives you a key to his apartment and isn’t surprised when he feels you behind him, hands on his shoulders as he works on another last minute assignment

kenma who holds your hands all the time, because “they’re really soft, i dunno, i just find them comforting”

kenma who’s known widely around campus as ‘that one box dyed quiet guy’ but to you, is your chaotic, beautiful boyfriend

kenma who stays up til odd hours with you, doing stupid things and screaming at eachother while you game

kenma who only laughs at your jokes because “we have the same humor , obviously. we’re just better than everyone else.”

kenma who refuses to give back anything you lend him. clothes, clips, books, pens, he keeps everything of yours. he also wears your clothes half the time to campus, but no one really knows that it’s yours. they just assume he has a very spontaneous dressing style.

kenma who cannot go a day without you scratching his under cut, running your nails over it and massaging all his worries away.

kenma who looks at you with heart eyes whenever you talk about your course, because “you just light up when you talk sometimes, it’s really cute to look at”

kenma who sends you the sweetest ‘hey, i know you’re asleep but..’ paragraphs at ungodly times, so you wake up happy

kenma who confessed by pulling up to your house with a boom box playing ‘pluto projector’ and waiting for you to let him in. he sat down on the couch and made you listen to him recall every moment that led up to him falling inlove with you.

“and then there was that time when you made me coffee when i was working, even though i told you to fuck off and..” he looks at you with shiny, gleaming eyes,” you sat on the floor next to me, and waited, and when i was done you said you were proud-,” he stops himself from raising his voice, hands finding your own as stray strands of bleach- blond hair fall into his eyes at the aggression of his movement,” i can’t remember the last time someone saw me, my work, my effort. they always thought i wasn’t trying or that i didn’t care to try but you, yn,” your best friend got close, so close that you couldn’t breathe, so close that if he was any closer - you think he’d kiss you,

kenma was breathless trying to explain- trying to get his point across as he continued,“you always saw me. who i am and who i’m not. and i realised that the reason you never got tired of me is because you couldn’t get enough of me and god,” a loud sigh left his lips as a wide smile etched across his face ,” i’ve never felt more wanted in my life. “

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umeoniii · 11 months

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aot men beige flags

eren, jean, reiner , levi , armin , connie

!: sfw

（＾∇＾）

eren:

☆ makes weird voices.

high pitched, low pitched, shaky he doesn’t care.

like sometimes as a bit he just uses weird accents and stuff.

he’ll speak like a caveman for one day.

“me want ooga burga” he’ll scratch his head like one too

and you’ll just stare at him like, “this mfs crazy” bcs literally wtf is he on about?!

the next day he’s trying to sound french

“oui oui mon amour”

and he’s wiggling his brows and has his imaginary mustache in between his fingers.

☆ his next one is he’s kind of oblivious to a lot of things.

you can pull out the ugliest outfit known to man to test him and he’ll say “that looks so good baby”

not bcs he’s setting u up. no, because he doesn’t think that lime green ripped jeans and a orange cropped hoodie look bad together.

you’ll have to show him what fashion looks like and he’ll get better as time goes on.

jean:

the tickle monster.

☆ when you’re around him u have to watch your back. he’s serious about it.

u can have a super cute sentimental moment with him and he’ll pull it out.

“i really love you baby.” you’d say

“who else do you love, because i know you’re cheating on me with him.”

and you’re like WHAT.

“with who?!”

he’d pause and stare at you for a few seconds.

“THE TICKLE MONSTER!”

and he’d tickle you until you can’t breathe and almost pee yourself.

and after that you don’t trust him but then proceed to slip up multiple times.

u guys are gonna hate me for this next one…

☆ he does “the face” when he’s gonna kiss u

u guys know what i’m talking about

“the face guys make when they go in for a kiss”

his isn’t horrid, only because he’s attractive

sometimes he actually over exaggerates it to piss you off.

it’s not super horrible but it’s giggle worthy

reiner:

☆ he’s a cringe bf. unironically. it’s sweet but not all the time.

by cringe i mean “i just found out about periods, god it must suck to be a beautiful goddess :/.”

or he’s like

“hey! tell you’re period it can’t hurt you like that, it’s not cool!”

☆ he’s also a scaredy-cat.

behind all that muscle is a big baby.

he jumps at scary movies even when he knows what happens next.

cannot play something like fnaf with him

he will throw the phone and scream like he got stabbed in his chest.

he’s probably still scared of the dark but it’s kind of sweet idk. he literally cuddles with you at night like a mother and her baby. you’re practically holding him like a frail little princess, except he’s kind of the exact opposite.

this is actually kind of cute though..

levi:

☆ now his beige flag is that he can be SUPER sarcastic. ik he is.

he’s super snarky and sassy.

like he’s the type to tell what’s considered a ‘corny dad joke’ but instead he’d say it with a stoic face.

like if youre talking and couldn’t remember and say something like “remember when umm…” and you just sit there and think, he’d come back with “no i don’t remember when that happened”.

he wouldn’t laugh or anything.

i feel like that’s why it’s funny. he could make a childish poop or fart joke and it would only be funny bcs he looks like this 😐

he would own a stupid t-shirt that says something like, “find your patience before i lose mine”.

☆ he’s a karen as well. he’s not super bad but like at restaurants and stuff when his foods not right or the tables are not bussed…

i’d be in the bathroom crying my mascara off if i was his waitress

armin:

☆ he’s scared of animals.

this includes typical house pets like dogs or cats.

it’s bcs “they don’t speak , so you’ll never know what they’ll do next.”

his fear stems from one small thing that happened when he was younger.

a cat jumped onto his lap.

he thought it was trying to attack him and so he screamed and the cat got scared.

that’s it.

he can’t even visit the zoo because he’s scared the animals will break out. (he’s super serious about it, it’s not even something he jokes about)

he’s tried to like animals and it worked for a while.

until the dog started to play a little too much to his liking.

☆ also he just randomly informs you of random facts.

completely random.

you could be on the toilet and he’ll come in the bathroom like, “a shrimps heart is in its head…”

no “did you know?” or “isn’t it cool that?” he just says it.

if you ever go onto a game show you’ll probably win it with all the useless knowledge he’s given u.

connie:

☆ you could tell him the most god awful thing happened to you and he’ll be like

“wait, this reminds me of something that happened in something i just watched.”

he’ll proceed to whip out his phone and show you the tv show, news report, tiktok. whatever it was he saw.

this tends to happen to every experience that you have.

you could be held hostage and they’ll call him for ransom and somehow it reminds him of this one part of a tv show.

sometimes it’s funny sometimes it’s not.

☆ he sleeps like he hasn’t slept since the day he was born.

he hops into the bed and sits there for 1 minute before he starts snoring aggressively.

he looks dead, like actually…

sprawled out and snoring with his mouth open.

one time he slept with his eyes wide open and you shook him awake panicking.

he belittled you and was all smart and cocky saying “i would never sleep with my eyes wide open” even though he did.

he sleeps to the rain sounds with the thunder. but sometimes is so sleepy and forgets about it.

tagz!🐬: @hangesgirlypop , @yiugen , @heartshapedtearss

♡

a/n: heyooo! b4 u guys request it, im doing girls next ;). i just think this trend is the cutest thing ever, plus it feels good to write fluff. also im actually getting back to requests. like frl this time, i’ve been grinding non stop all night so i could be done by hopefully friday. feel free to request cute things u guys, i will absolutely write it! and also feel free to request other characters, i feel like u guys don’t request them bcs u guys don’t see them and so u think i won’t do them. trust i probs will!

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celesteleoves · 15 days

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“YOU CAN LAUGH?”

RYOMEN SUKUNA X reader

summary: in which, sukuna rarely shows his emotions but you caught him laughing, much to his dismay.

warnings: swearing, mentions of killing (jokes made by sukuna), fluff, A LOADDDD OF DIALOGUE!!. ooc sukuna… this was not proofread.

-

“was that a laugh?” you stared at sukuna in shock, eyes wide with disbelief as the man beside you rolls his eyes.

“no, i don’t know what you are talking about.”

“you just did! ryomen, i can still see a smile on your face right now.”

he turns his head away from the tv infront of you two that blasted some hallmark movie that you two lazily put on, just to make fun of it. it was mostly you cracking jokes, sukuna calling you stupid, and you laughing at your own jokes.

until now you noticed you weren’t the only one who laughed at your jokes, you swear sukuna laughed! he can deny it all he wants but a chuckle did in fact leave his mouth.

truth be told, he never shows any happy emotions, he is always stoic or saying a remark that will leave everyone running away from him in a second.

“no. i never laugh around you, you are not that amusing.”

“don’t try and deny it ryomen, i see your eyes sparkle when you find something amusing.”

“you are incredibly delusional.”

“no- hey! you’re smiling!”

“you must be hallucinating.”

a small smile was present for a split second on sukuna’s face before he masked it with a grimace and a retort back to your comments.

“you are imagining things, y/n.”

“i saw that hint of a smirk, you can not fool me.”

“my face is incapable of such emotions, you must be tired.”

you turned in your seat to squint your eyes at him, he won’t ever admit it! if he says he laughed, it’ll hurt his pride. now, you just have to pester him and hope he laughs again.

“well, sukuna, your face needs some training because it definitely just betrayed you right now,”

“fine. i might’ve been a tad bit amused. don’t ever get used to it though.”

“too late. i’m gonna do everything in my power to make you laugh so hard you won’t be able to breathe!”

“you know what else will make it hard to breathe?”

“what?”

“me suffocating you.”

“i’d like that-”

“no.”

you grinned at him as he scowled you, man, he can be quite moody sometimes. now you’re starting to believe he can’t laugh or be nice EVER. you like a little challenge, though.

“i can make you laugh so hard you’ll snort.”

“oh yeah? snort? that’s different. go ahead, try.” he challenged you, a barely visible smirk present on his face that you ALMOST missed.

“oh, i will. just wait. don’t say i didn’t warn you when you snort!” you pause and noticed the barely visible hint of amusement on his face, “see! i can see you beginning to smile already.”

“i find you amusing but that does not mean anything.”

“oh, really sukuna? to me, it means the whole universe! you’re beautiful eyes that gleam, your smile, your perfect pearly whites, the deep chortle you let out rambunctiously; it’s the key to my heart!” you exaggerate your words, adding unnecessary points that even have you cringing at your words as you try to ignite a reaction out of him.

“trying to charm me, huh? laying it on thick aren’t you.”

“i have a way with words, you can’t resist my allure and attractiveness that spills from them.”

he stares at you in confusion and amusement, what are you even doing?

“don’t flatter yourself too much, brat. it takes a while for me to be swayed.”

“i’m aware of your stubbornness, trust me. i won’t stop though, it’s entertaining watching you struggle to hold your breathe trying not to laugh.”

“you like watching me suffocate? that’s sadistic.”

“look who’s talking now.”

“alright. you cannot get me to laugh, if you can’t tell already. give up now.”

“no! never, not until i’ve made you laugh and gained your love.”

“my love?- whatever, nice try, flirt. your charm isn’t working.”

you roll your eyes and push his shoulder teasingly, a smile already on your face as you turn away from sukuna to grab a drink.

little do you know, the man beside you is grinning secretly, letting out a quiet laugh at your previous conversation.

he also enjoyed the compliments, he won’t tell you that though.

-

a/n: this got cut short :( i was going to make it longer but it was 2:14 am when i made this. anyways, i hope it was alright and this was just a tester so i could try and see how i liked writing sukunas character!

SEND REQUESTS! 🤍

#jujustu kaisen #jjk fluff #jujustu kaisen fluff #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujustu kaisen oneshot #sukuna #sukuna ryoumen x reader #sukuna x reader #sukuna fluff #sukuna ryomen #sukuna ryoumen x you #sukuna ryomen fluff #sukuna x y/n #sukuna x you #jjk drabbles #jjk x y/n #jujustu kaisen drabbles

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restinslices · 3 months

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Ahhhh after some thought I’ll choose the earthrealm men with a lovey dovey s/o 👉🏻👈🏻

back to requests a mere 6 days after saying I was gonna take a break. Was that post a little unnecessary? Yes, but I didn’t want anyone to get mad at me for not posting everyday and not getting to requests immediately. ANYWAY, back like the flu.

Johnny Cage

Johnny “Loves Attention” Cage is having the best time

Do y'all remember how much of a cornball this man was in the game? He has no shame

So a significant other who also has no shame? He's getting on one knee as soon as possible

He tries to out cornball you

He loves it all. The stupid nicknames, the cuddling, the gifts, the giggling, all the adoration, he's just in love

Definitely returns the favor. If you buy him smth, he's buying you smth (let's ignore that debt), you give him a nickname so he gives you one. It goes on and on

All this lovey dovey shit might exhaust some people. Johnny is not some people.

The nicknames are probably his favorite part. He makes the most atrocious nicknames up because you won't be upset

Some real dumb shit like Oogy Boogy Sweetie Weetie Cutie Patootie Kissy Face- yeah all that shit is one nickname. Why? Because it's funny to him and you'll laugh

The type to get y'all dumbass matching shirts

“If found return to stupid” “I'm stupid”

Those type of shirts

Everyone hates you because it becomes a competition of who can be the most corny. It's tortuous for anyone near you

Cannot express enough how much this man enjoys the attention you give him. If one day you decided to ignore him as a joke, he'd actually be so sad and notice immediately

He just adores having a corny lovey dovey partner. The best thing to happen to him.

Kenshi Takahashi

He doesn't hate it but he definitely needs a breather sometimes

Having a lovey dovey partner isn't terrible to him. All the touching and nicknames and being spoiled is definitely cute to him, but being lovey dovey also means you're on him a lot. Kenshi doesn't give me huge extrovert vibes so I think because you're so extreme(?) that there's times when he needs a break

He thinks it's adorable though. He likes feeling wanted so he likes how outwardly you are with your love

Idk if he likes all the nicknames though. I can see him easily cringing if you go overboard

Idk how he'd feel about you spoiling him. He doesn't hate it but he feels like everytime you give him a gift, he has to give you one and he ain't got that shit on him. His own thoughts are running him dry

When his social battery is recharged I think he'd like how physical and sweet you are

He enjoys how loved you make him feel. He's just not sure how to respond sometimes. I can see you saying something really corny and although he thinks it's cute, his brain doesn't move fast enough and he ends up just staring at you

He rolls his eyes a lot too so it can give the appearance that he's annoyed by you but it's definitely not that

You want some corny shit he'll definitely like? Matching jewelry. He'll eat it up like it's a cookie

Also draw over his tattoos. He loves it

Loves the corny shit his brain just legit shuts off sometimes

Kung Lao

Like Johnny, he enjoys the attention

Idk if he necessarily enjoys all the corny things. I don't get a strong feeling from him. Maybe it depends on the day

Likes the attention and spoiling but all the corny nicknames and shirts and just being a total sap makes him a little uncomfortable at times

Once again, it depends on the day. Sometimes he's all for it and sometimes he's like “let's calm down for today”

Gets you a matching hat but without all the sharp shit because he doesn't trust you with sharp objects

He's a mix of Johnny and Kenshi tbh

He refuses to wear those corny matching shirts. You'll have to kill him

That applies to other things too

Those corny nicknames Johnny would make up? He'd prefer a beating from a serious Spiderman

“Aw my Snookie Wookie-” “I'm gonna shoot myself right here right now. Please stop”

It's cute and he acknowledges that it's how you show love but certain things just ain't gonna work with him

Especially in public certain things just won't work with him because he has an ego and thinks certain things will make him look weird. It's giving insecure teen

Don't doubt his love for you though. He loves his little sap. Just take it a bit slow

At some point a switch would flip and he'd go from being embarrassed to thinking “wow, I'm so great my partner is willing to look silly in front of others!”

Now he feeds into your corny bullshit

A win is a win

Raiden

I fully believe him and Liu Kang are romantics, therefore he loves it

He gets flustered easily so tons of affection makes his face go red and all that cute shit

His brain also short circuits like Kenshi's. He's so bad at pretending he's not flustered

“Are you blushing?” “...” “...” “...” “Raiden?” “Of course not”

Likes the consistent physical contact

Spoiling him also makes him short circuit. He's trying to think of how to thank you but all that comes out is “oh!”

Adores you just as much as you adore him

He likes gift giving. And idk mean just jewelry, I mean “you got me all these gifts so I'm gonna bring you a bunch of produce and hey, maybe we can cook later”

We saw him collecting cabbages like Cabbage Man from ATLA in the beginning of the game, he gotta still have the hook up

Loves receiving cheek kisses

Man is so weak in the knees. Kung Lao can yell “STAND UP!” all he wants. That shit is not happening

Play with his hair. Once again, weak in the knees

He's having a great time. Sure he's easily embarrassed but it's not like “omg, you're being weird. Stop”. It's more of a “I love this but I feel like everyone's looking”

You two are super lovey dovey but not as obnoxious as you and Johnny. Johnny is like “you can't out corny me” and Raiden is just tryna vibe and love on you since you love on him

All the embarrassment he feels is so worth it to him

Liu Kang

A romantic so all that lovey dovey shit? Heaven to him

Liu Kang has so much love to give and he's never allowed to share it because his life is ass in every timeline

So a partner that adores him and shows him how much they adore him? Did the Elder Gods hand craft you for him?

He's honestly a mix of everyone. He wants to love you all the time like Johnny, he loves how much you love him like Kenshi, he loves how much you outwardly adore him like Kung Lao and he's a huge romantic that loves how much time you spend together like Raiden

He's so love deprived so he loves everything you wanna do

Matching shirts, jewelry, socks, whatever the fuck? Absolutely.

Spoiling him with random shit? He'll take it all

Telling him how much you love him all the time? Yes.

Giving him the dumbest and corniest nicknames? He'll take that too

He's also lovey dovey so the feeling is very much mutual

Enjoys quality time so you wanting to be on his hip is very much welcomed

You're a breath of fresh air since you're so kind and loving to him. Remember he has all the memories of the past timeline, then this timeline gets fucked up. He's used to constant smoke and destruction so someone being so nice and sweet to him and relaxing with him is heavenly to him

Doesn't matter how corny it is. It's all he wants

Real quick, two things. Firstly I wanna make more MK1 intros so y’all should give me ideas. Secondly I think it would be fun if we as a unit made an MK1 oc. I’d make polls, you’d vote on certain things and then we use the same results but tinker it to our individual liking. For example maybe we know they’re Edenian but their gender is up to you. It’d be like a bunch of variants. A Multiverse of Madness if you will.

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justporo · 5 months

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Date night with Astarion and Tav

I just had an idea. Astarion and Tav go on a night out... But it's a game they play: make it as bougie and flamboyant as possible - without spending a single piece of gold.

You start by stealing each other outfits - or maybe convincing the store clerk that you paid for it already; maybe even returning it after date night to get "your" gold back

You go to one of those restaurants that only do reservations months in advance, convincing the waiter that "of course we have a reservation, do you not know who we are??", then striding in as if you owned the place after you've caused a colossal scene, all heads already turning to you

Ordering the most expensive bottle of wine off the menu and the most expensive dish (although of course Astarion doesn't take one bite) then putting it on the tab of someone whose name you just picked up somewhere or just making a one up on the spot that sounds so important and complicated that no one dares to deny you - or just pretending you don't speak the language and are foreign nobility

You'll have to make run though before you're being found out; surely you're not creating a distraction by knocking over this priceless vase, are you? Or by throwing Astarion's untouched steak to the spoilt lap dogs over at another table causing absolute chaos?

You run or sneak out of there: but not without stealing another bottle of that fine wine (or two)

Bonus points if Astarion has lightened someone's load of jewellery at some point and presents you with a nice gift while running off; "Now's not the time, Astarion!" "That's so bland of you, darling, there's always time for presents!"

Astarion taking you somewhere else after making it out of there "because the night is still young, my heart, we're both beautiful and not at all drunk yet"

He takes you to an art museum and without any real effort picks the lock and you stroll through the empty tall halls looking at the artworks while taking swigs of wine from the stolen bottle

Astarion cannot stop infodumping on you about the paintings and statues; you don't understand a single thing but think it's adorable and you do actually learn a lot

Since no one is there to stop you, you dodge under the ropes, look at the paintings up close, make a game of imitating the faces and postures until you both die laughing

Astarion making you stand on a pedestal where a statue is currently missing from display, then looking at you as if he was taking in an renowned artwork: "Ah yes, my favourite piece of art, so exquisite!"

In turn you make him pose next to one of those noble portrait paintings and call him "the most beautiful thing ever created"; he grins and makes a stupid joke but you're pretty sure you see the pointy tips of his ears turn a little pink

You end the night by climbing onto the roofs of the city somewhere, sit there with what's left of the stolen wine, maybe play a drinking game, sitting there in your fine stolen clothes and watch the night slowly become less dark while your hearts are filled with light

I -uh- *puts it on the pile of fics I have to write* *sighs* This was mean to become like a headcanon post - it became the outline of a fic somehow, oop

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion ancunin #fanfiction #astarion x tav #baldur's gate iii #bg3 spoilers #baldurs gate #astarion x mc #astarion x oc #astarion #astarion x reader #poro headcanons #headcanons #astarion x you #bg3

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teyvathandymenclub · 2 months

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Genshin Men - Pregnancy Reaction (P.2)

Story: You just announced your pregnancy to your partner.

Characters: Itto, Wriothesley, Ayato

TW: None

Notes: Tublr won´t let me upload the whole thing (it´s too long?), so I will post Ayato´s story later.

Itto - After you tell him the big news, his loud laugh almost makes you jump.

“Pregnant? With me?!” he suddenly asks out of nowhere.

“No, with your worst enemy.” you roll your eyes at his absurd question.

“How could you?!” Itto´s puppy eyes instantly fill with tears.

“I am just joking because you ask stupid questions.”

He quickly brushes his hair with his usual sass and pokes you in the arm. “I knew that you were joking the whole time. Can you imagine? Baby Oni running around causing chaos just like his father?” Itto laughs.

“Well, it is time to get prepared, because that part was true.”

“Wait, wait, wait! REALLY????” Itto grabs you and pushes his ear on your belly. “But I don't hear anything! Are you sure that the baby is there?”

“I am sure. It is just too soon to hear anything.” you laugh, but Itto interrupts you with the biggest kiss he ever gave you before he runs out the door yelling “I have to tell the boys! And Auntie Kuki! She will lose her mind!”.

In the next weeks, Itto keeps coming home with arms full of many different things for the baby. One day he came with a huge pregnancy pillow that in the end he kept using himself, so he had to buy another one for you. But the biggest joy brought him a baby carrier that he could strap on himself so he could take the baby to work. He was really upset when you told him that it was not a good idea.

Wriothesley - When you told him that you would stop by during work hours he immediately got nervous. It took a lot out of him to keep his composure so no one would suspect a thing. Is the Duke feeling bad? This type of news would spread at the speed of light across the whole fortress. His mind was occupied by your unexpected decision to visit him the whole day. Are you fed up with him working all the time? But he already warned you that sometimes he would not make it home… Wriothesley was even on high alert to not cross Sigewinne. She would immediately know that something was going on. Finally, a few minutes before your arrival, Wriothesley prepared a freshly brewed tea and your favorite cake. He certainly felt a little ridiculous when he asked one of his men to go up there just for a piece of cake. But for you? There is nothing he would not do.

“Wrio!” the echo of your voice fills the whole office.

“My dear!” he jumps out from his chair rushing down the stairs to meet you.

You hug tightly and after a longing kiss, you laugh.

“Fresh tea? Just for me?” you smile.

“Of course.” he smiles and offers you his hand. “Let´s have a seat.”

As you come upstairs, you spot your favorite cake on the table. “I am sorry that I made you nervous.”

“Why would you think that?” he asks innocently as he sits next to you on the sofa.

“You always do this. Every time you think that there is something wrong. You show me how amazing you are.”

“Are you implying that there are times when you do not think that I am amazing?”

You both laugh and after a few silent sips of the tea you rest your head on his arm.

“I need to tell you something.” you whisper.

His body immediately stiffs.

“Actually, I want to show you.” and you reach for your bag.

Wriothesley watches you silently. All he can hear is blood rushing through his veins. What is going on? He always has everything under control and this whole situation is new. Are you trying to leave him? He was on his own almost his whole life. This cannot happen. Not after he gave you his heart. He knew it. He was a fool for opening so much, people always hurt you…

“Wrio?”

He finds you sitting next to him again but now you are holding something.

“Are you ok? If you are not feeling well we can do this another time.” you try to read his face.

“No. No! I am fine.” he smiles. “Just a long day… So? What do we have here?” He points his finger on the small box.

“I don´t know.” you smile. “But you can look and find out.”

Wriothesley slowly opens the box. He frowns as he takes out the small plush wolf.

He looks at you with confusion. You can not help but smile so much it almost hurts. He looks back at the plush toy. It is so small. Small wolf. Small… Wolf… And it hits him.

“What do you think about growing our little pack…” but before you can finish whatever you wanted to say, he grabs you into a painfully tight hug. Afterward, he looks back at the toy and stares at it for some time. You know what is going through his mind. His family and his past flashed before his eyes. You did not say a word until you spotted silent tears coming down his cheeks.

“My love.” you reach for him and kiss him on the face after you dry his tears.

“Yes,” Wriothesley says.

“What do you mean?”

“Yes, I want to build our little pack with you.” he smiles at you knowing that he will do everything to be the best father under the sun.

#genshin #genshin impact #fanfiction #fanfic #itto #arataki itto #itto x reader #arataki itto x reader #arataki itto x you #itto x you #wriothesley x reader #wriothesely x you #wriothesley

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buterccup · 1 year

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GEN Z READER IN TASK FORCE 141 HC

A/N: I saw a couple of these and I couldn't stop trying to find more, and I just love the concept of all these big men trying to understand the reader's humour but I also love how they try to watch over them even though they can easily take care of themselves. Also, do expect the codename to change if I make another one of these but if anyone has ideas please tell me. Anyways I hope this doesn't flop and please enjoy.

Warnings: Dark humour, Suicide jokes, simping, swearing, mentions of parents leaving the reader, basically gen z stuff, usual CoD violence

Character(s): Soap, Gaz, John, Ghost, Price x Gn! reader (And graves kinda-)

Codename: Daffodil

There is no thinking about it you are the youngest and probably the shortest in the task force.

When Laswell first told Price that he will have someone younger than he expected to join the task force he immediately said no, he wasn't going to babysit you.

Plus you looked way too young to be in the army

Little did he know, you got your codename for a reason.

But once Laswell said you were very strong and he could trust you to hold your own and that he had to, he didn't have much of a choice.

And as expected once Price and Laswell introduce you to the boys they were shocked too.

There was a literal child in front of them.

And Soap being Soap he let out a little chuckle earning a nudge and glare from Ghost and an "ahem" from Price

"This is Daffodil, your new rookie. And I warn you don't underestimate them just from their name. Treat them well."

At first you were very quiet and only spoke when spoken to, almost beating Ghost's stoic and quiet nature

To which the rest of 141 joked about quite a lot

but after a while, you started to open up to them which was a nice sign

But the boys did catch onto your humour pretty quickly which caused them to worry for your mental state.

You would start saying suicide jokes at 1 mile per second at every small inconvenience.

"If that happens again I'm going to jump in front of a car- I am going to hang myself- I cannot right now-"

"Kid...It's just paper work..."

"Exactly"

One time you and the group were going after a target and of the guys' men shot you in the arm. It wasn't as bad as you thought it would be but it still hurt.

While Soap and Gaz asked if you were okay you were completely hysterical at the moment. So much in fact that you shouted something so stupid before the guy met his inevitable end.

By Ghost too:D

Thanks Ghost<33

"Do you want this back???"

BLAM

"Oop, mans left quicker than my dad."

To say the least, your boys were concerned for you because of that

Even Ghost tried to check up on you every minute or two after they got the bullet out and patched you up.

You all eventually got the target in the end but your boys ended up forcing you to go get your wound checked since a, and I quote, "Crusty dusty" building wouldn't be the best place to pick out bullet fragments.

You came back with one of the doctor's pens because you liked it and claimed you finessed him when in reality he gave it to you because he noticed you staring and you were too scared to ask.

It was a LED cat paw pen

"Gaz what does finesse mean?"

"I don't really know..?"

"What do you mean you're supposed to know-"

One time you shouted slay during a mission once Ghost killed one of the targets.

To be honest, it did make him laugh but Price, on the other hand, didn't understand but he soon got what it meant. Kinda.

With that being said Gaz and sometimes Soap are the go-to when Price or Ghost don't understand what the hell you just said since they are the younger ones.

Which also means you got along better with them

And if they don't understand something they always try their best to find out and find more things you would laugh at.

Soap even goes that extra effort to make memes and send them to you.

But don't get me wrong you love spending time with Price and Ghost.

And speaking of memes you always end up making stupid gifs of Ghost and always end up sending them to the tf141 group chat that you made to annoy them most of the time or Ghost himself where you sometimes end up joke flirting with him

Mans is scrumdiliumcious if you did say so yourself

(Ahem basically the gif at the start of the hcs)

One time you called Ghost Mummy and Soap and Gaz wouldn't stop laughing while Price sighed at the little slip-up.

It wasn't a slip-up.

You defiantly burst into Price's office most of the time too when you have nothing to do.

Even though hearing Price drone on about his paperwork doesn't sound that fun it's nice to hear his voice.

And If you didn't have good parents or were absent most of your life he would never turn you away once he sees you at his door.

This also applies if you have good parents too

From the number of times he had to lecture you and your boys about how you can't have McDonald's after a mission and how it's bad for you is basically allowing him to adopt you.

Once you met Grave one thing kept popping into your mind.

Fix it Felix.

Which didn't really give you both a great start but he warmed up to you sooner or later.

And as much as an asshole he is most of the time he actually gets concerned when he hears one of your suicide jokes.

When he first heard one over coms he made sure to keep an eye on you every so often and even messaged you after the mission was over.

Don't get me wrong Graves is kinda...shitty but that doesn't make him that much of an asshole to not check up on a 'child' when they say something concerning.

And when all your boys are free and there is time you all have a movie night.

It's quite relaxing, it was nice to have these quiet moments with your boys considering your jobs.

Although one time it was getting really late and you all got through 2 movies and you almost looked like you were going to pass out so that's when papa Price came out.

"Papa, more movie."

"No the movie is over, we gotta go.."

"PAPA"

"Oh, Jesus Christ.." (💀)

"Me. Want. More. Movie."

"No Daffo-"

"YOU LIE"

"Kiddo the movie is-"

"Price what did you do-" (🧼)

Once you calmed down and Price realized what you said he cried internally.

Everything was okay in the end though and Gaz had that on camera so they can always look back and laugh at it.

Requests: Open

Part 2!

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prettymita · 9 months

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"jealousy"

KIM GUN-WOO - 6/10 on the jealousy scale

♡ gun-woo trusts you sooo much

♡ he knows you'd never cheat on him, so whenever you're talking to another guy, he wouldn't think much of it. he would keep an eye on you, though.

♡ it only really affects him if you start flirting with another guy. he thinks you're wayyy too good for him, even if that's not true. (no, bcuz this man only has eyes for you. he thinks you're the most beautiful girl in the universe) so when you start spending more time with another man and prioritizing them over him, he would get so sad :(

♡ poor baby wouldn't even tell you. he would try to act fine and tell himself that he was just being stupid and overthinking, he'd probably blame himself for it 😭

♡ when you start to notice how he seemed down, he would finally open up and admit that he was jealous. he's so cute i can't

♡ even if gunwoo isn't very extroverted or talkative, he's actually good at communicating his feelings with you. when he's jealous of a guy you're talking to, he would shyly pull you aside and have a conversation with you about how he felt about you hanging out with another man. "hey, can we talk?"

♡ and when you reassure him that he has nothing to worry about and shower him in kisses, he's a timid, smiling mess.

♡ he's so babygirl omlll

♡ when it comes to possessiveness, it's leaning towards less possessive. sure, if a guy is making you laugh and all, gun-woo will join the conversation, linger his hand on your back or waist innocently and pretend nothing is wrong. but he isn't too over the top, there is a healthy amount of possessiveness.

♡ he doesn't care what you wear, you are your own person, and he knows and respects that. so if you catch the gazes of men, it doesn't make him jealous. i mean, you were so beautiful, how could they not stare, right? besides, he could fight if he needed to. (he will subtly glare at a guy if their gaze gets too explorative, though. not even glare, to be honest. its more of a disappointed look LMAO)

♡ if a guy is making you uncomfortable, that's a different case.

♡ he would notice and act immediately. gunwoo doesn't like to resort to violence, even if he is mad. he would gently pull you away from the person and step in front of you, politely (but sternly) telling the guy that you weren't interested. he wouldn't pick a fight, unless the opponent swings first. even so, he'd stick to defending only, not throwing any life-threatening punches. cause damn, he is strong asf. you're kind of glad he is so non-violent and gentle bcuz if he wasn't, he might've killed someone already.

HONG WOO-JIN - 8/10 on the jealousy scale

♡ woojin does trust you, but the twisted knot in his stomach can overtake his sense of rationality sometimes

♡ he is very clingy. so if he sees you talking with another guy, he will try to join the conversation because he doesn't want to feel left out.

♡ if he's jealous, he'll often wrap an arm around your waist or sling it over your shoulder, or making it very obvious that the two of you are dating. "Oh, how's my precious girlfriend doing?" and then pecks you on the lips. its a little embarrassing sometimes but its woo-jin so its okay

♡ its funny because sometimes he completely ignores the guy's existence and continues to talk to you until you glare at him for being rude

♡ if you ignore woo-jin and continue to focus on the other guy, he will do anything to get your attention. and i mean anything. he will start telling the most unfunny jokes, physically get on the table and do something goofy to make you laugh. this man cannot be stopped.

♡ also, he will not admit that he is jealous. even if you know he is, he wouldn't say it unless you really pry at him. "Okay, fine! I'm jealous, is that what you wanted to hear?"

♡ and then he'll sulk around like a sullen puppy lmaoo

♡ so when it comes to you wearing revealing clothing, i'm sure he loves it the most, to be honest. but he's a little cautious of you wearing it outside, he just doesn't want you to get hurt. he might've tried to get you to wear something else or bring a jacket a couple times. he isn't really fond of others seeing what's his. (!!!)

♡ he's possessive, but he doesn't like to admit it. he'd rather show it through actions, being superrr clingy

♡ if a guy's staring at you and his gaze begins to wander, woo-jin will wrap a hand around you possessively. he might even snarl at the guy.

♡ if anyone makes you uncomfortable, he makes sure to get you out of there, probably threatening the guy a little. he might shove him lightly and get a little aggressive if he's really mad. then afterward, he would make sure you're okay and shit-talk about how the guy was an absolute ass.

#kim gun woo #lee sang yi #woo do hwan #hong woo jin #hong woo jin fanfiction #hong woojin x reader #kim gun woo x reader #bloodhounds fluff #bloodhounds netflix #bloodhounds x reader #bloodhounds fanfic #bloodhounds #bloodhounds headcannons #gun woo headcannons #woojin headcannons

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gh0st-t0wn3 · 5 months

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Lmk ss edits + headcanons, Part 6 (Azure Lion, Peng, Yellowtusk)

(I originally made my own design of Azure and Yellowtusk but wasn't quite happy with how they turned out so I scrapped them, the designs for those two I used in these edits were made by @/erraday_ on twt, with a few minor changes, but Peng's design is my own :) )

- He/Him

- Pansexual

- Snores so loud, it's insane, Yellowtusk once thought there was an earthquake

- Feels bad whenever he's steps on a ladybug, butterfly etc

- Gives everyone and everything giant bear hugs because he thinks if Yellowtusk can take it, so can everyone else (They cannot)

- Mei once gave him catnip as a joke and he went fucking feral, he's not allowed near catnip anymore

- His hair/fur is actually very soft and curly

- Thought he saw an old friend while out in public and hugged them, it was a stranger

- Wakes up Yellowtusk in the middle of the night to ask stupid questions

- The Brotherhood asked to hear his roar but he got really nervous last second and it ended up being really meek, they never let him forget it

- Coughed up a hairball once and Peng refuses to let him live it down

- Has eaten cat food before and would do it again

- Cannot do the splits and is too scared to try

- Gets really confused by modern slang, MK and Mei abuse the hell out of it because it's funny

- Whenever he's rough housing with people he accidentally hits a bit too hard

- Whenever he walks past anyone playing a game that involves a ball (football, basketball, netball, etc) he somehow always ends up getting hit in the head with it

- If he wasn't sealed away and got a chance to babysit Redson as a kid he wouldn't know what the fuck to do and would be really awkward cause he doesn't know how to interact with children, he'd be able to bond with Redson better when he becomes a teenager though

- No one gossips with him because he always ends up unintentionally outing someone about something

- Ate moldy food once by accident and freaked out, he was absolutely disgusted

- Hates horror movies but loves slashers

- Drinks mouthwash

- Smells like catnip (trust me guys)

- Love language is words of affirmation

- Has horrible bed head, his mane gets tangled really easily and he tosses around a lot at night so his mane takes hours to brush out

- Absolutely refuses to wear shoes, they hurt his feet (paws?)

- The type of person to cry over a movie about a dog getting lost and then finding its owner at the end

- Can somehow eat an entire goddamn buffet and not gain a single pound

- His face always scrunches up when he smiles

- Lost his balance on a hill and fell down like a tumbleweed once, Peng still brings it up

- They/He (Canon, Peng uses They/Them in the show but is exclusively referred to w/ He/Him in the sets)

- Nonbinary (Canon)

- Starts squaking when he laughs too much

- If you throw a blanket over their head he'll immediately fall asleep

- "look behind you but don't make it obvious" Looks behind him in the most exaggerated, obvious way known to mankind

- Stole food from Wukong's private stash for several months when the Brotherhood was all still together, Wukong still doesn't know

- Wukong gave them cooked chicken once as a joke but he actually liked it

- Constantly argues with Wukong about Macaque not being able to hold his own, yes it got physical

- Their wings have a bunch of scars from the amount of weapons and shit they block with them. Has to consistently clean their wings in order to keep them from getting too damaged, yes this includes softening and preening his feathers

- If they weren't sealed away and got a chance to babysit Redson as a kid they would tape him to the wall like that one meme and call it a day

- Bit off a person's finger once just to see if they could

- Doesn't shop, just steals

- "I hate you so fucking much" as he's handing the person a gift

- Tried to draw on Wukong's face once but got wacked with his tail

- Absolutely HATES beetroot, will actually gag if he smells it

- Kicks over kids sand castles at the beach

- Can't stand small buzzing sounds

- "I'm not that competitive" is that competitive

- Claims you can trust them with anything but will snitch the second they know it will benefit them

- Probably threatened to eat someone's baby once

- Goes to playgrounds to trip kids

- Smells like Lavender, it just feels right

- Love language is words of affirmation and acts of service

- Has tried sleeping upside down like a bat multiple times

- Hardcore wine aunt vibes

- Had a bunch of ducklings accidently imprinted to him and they followed Peng for hours

- You'd have to pin this bird down to get them to eat collyflower

- Jokingly pushed Azure off a cliff once then remembered they're the only member of the Camel Ridge Trio that can fly

- They have full on concerts at like 3 am, has woken up Azure on multiple occasions

- He/Him

- AroAce

- Is the calmest one in the Brotherhood

- He uses Peng's head as an armrest sometimes

- He and DBK were actually quite close, he knew and accepted that DBK was in love with a celestial but was very surprised to see they ended up having a child

- Very poor eyesight but doesn't like wearing his glasses because Peng made a joke about them once saying he looked like a grandma

- Uses ":3" and ":D"

- Loves soap opera's

- Hates seafood

- Peng once tricked him into eating fish nuggets once and he still hasn't fully forgiven them

- If he wasn't sealed away and got a chance to babysit Redson as a kid he would definitely be the most responsible one, and probably Redson's favourite uncle

- Eats a snack then forgets he ate it and will bet frustrated when he can't find it

- The therapist of the Camel Ridge Trio, and probably of the whole Brotherhood in the past as well

- Was the only one who felt bad about imprisoning the Demon Bull Family since he and DBK were very close

- He also reprimanded Peng for when they pinned and scratched Redson with their claws after they left the Demon Bull Palace (he's the protective uncle, trust me guys)

- Hates getting hiccups, he despises the feeling and it gives him heartburn

- Wakes up at ungodly hours just to raid the fridge

- Heard a story about a bug crawling in someone's ear while they slept and has worn earplugs to bed ever since

- Loves apples

- Smells like Lilies

- Love language is gift giving

- Is really big on safety, would be the type of person to make sure everyone is wearing their seat belts before the car is even turned on

- Actually really good at cooking

- Makes the best chocolate chip pancakes ever

- Is the kind of person who assumes everyone tells eachother everything and accidently exposes someone because he thought everyone else knew about it already

- Always hears things wrong but doesn't wanna ask anyone to repeat themselves

- Has the most elegant ass handwriting you will ever see, somehow

- The peacemaker of the Brotherhood, they all would've disbanded way sooner if it wasn't for him

- Uses his trunk as a snorkle when swimming or sleeping underwater (elephants actually do this irl, I just thought it was cute)

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klausysworld · 11 months

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Hi, can you please write an oneshot where reader exploited yandere Klaus Mikaelson’s trust by faking her affection to escape, but she returned to his house a few hours later crying and apologising because she realised she cannot live without him and her feeling toward him is actually real despite she tried to convince herself otherwise? Thanks a lot.

You came back

My plan was supposed to be perfect.

It had taken fucking months to accomplish only for me to wind back up in the same situation by choice.

Weeks of gaining his trust and being loving.

I had kissed him, touched him, declared my love for him.

I had laughed at his jokes, worn what he asked of me. I was his precious girl and my own stupid mind had to go and fuck it all up.

I thought I was free.

I had tricked the beast.

I was out, my legs moving so fast I couldn’t feel them as I bolted through trees.

And yet once I was miles out of reach and ‘free’ I was really just alone.

What the actual fuck was I meant to do without Klaus?

He did everything for me.

I had no money and was in a thin summer dress, but the sky was getting darker and the winds were picking up.

The cars that went past scared me, I wasn’t used to the outside noises anymore or the bright headlights. I had ran off before I had eaten and now I was starving with nothing but trees for miles. I was too afraid to follow the road incase he was driving on it.

But after another few hours of aimlessly walking, I just wanted him to come get me. I wanted to go back home and snuggle up with him. I want his hands in my hair while we watch his stupid films and he feeds be strawberries and calls me his princess. I want him to wrap me up in a blanket and rock me to sleep with promises of a better future. He’s never gonna let me do anything now.

He’s gonna put me back in the basement instead of upstairs and I’m gonna have to sit silence again and wait for him to stop yelling at me.

And yet despite all of those factors, I still found myself back at his house. But he wasn’t home. So I just waited on his doorstep for hours. Until he came back.

I was curled up on his doormat with tears rolling down my cheeks and my body shivering.

My eyes were closed in the silent hope that I would either fall asleep or die before he got back.

Bur the second I heard a car pull up I was wide awake and my eyes shot open. I whined at the blinding lights from the car and covered my head in my arms

I could head his footsteps as he quickly approaches me

“Sweetheart” he whispered before I was lifted into his arms. I hid my face in his chest as he rubbed my back. I let out a sob as my hands gripped his henley.

I could feel the warmth of the house as he brought me inside and locked the door behind us. I bit the inside of my cheek when I opened my eyes, we were heading for the basement

“Please no” I whispered “Please I’ll do anything else” I begged “please, please I’m sorry” i cried, I held onto him tighter “I’m sorry” I repeated, i kissed his neck softly “I’m so sorry”

I could feel his hands in my hair as he opened the door and I immediately let out a cry “nononono” I whimpered, my nails dug into him “I came back” I whispered “I came back!” I yelled “I came back you can’t do this!” I pressed my lips to his but he pulled away, his hand grabbing my neck

“You ran.” He stated

“I came back” I whispered, tears staining my face as he tried to drag me down the stairs “I came back to you” I cried

“You tricked me” he muttered coldly

“I’m sorry” I whispered “I was scared…but I need you…I want you, I know that now”

His hand stroked my face “how am I supposed to believe you sweetheart?” He asked, hurt visible on his face

“I’ll do anything you want” I promised

“You let me do that already” he muttered, shaking his head “you let me do all those things just to run away didn’t you?”

I looked down and he nodded, I didn’t struggle as he put me into the cell that was originally my room. He sat me down on the floor and searched me, he frowned when he saw the rips in my dress and little cuts from where I had ran through the bushes and trees.

“Why would you come back?” He asked quietly “you went through so much trouble to get away, you’re freezing, bleeding and white as a ghost” he murmured “did something happen?” He questioned and my expression softened. Even wen he was mad, he still cared. He would always care. He loved me.

I shook my head “I missed you” I uttered and he nodded, holding my hand “there were so many loud things and it was dark, and cold, and I couldn’t find any food in the woods and then I was lost and I couldn’t find you- I couldn’t” I brought my knees to my chest as I choked on my own words.

I was lifted back into his arms on onto his lap making me cling to him tightly “you were in the woods? Sweetheart you were missing over 14 hours”

I rubbed my face against his chest, pushing his scent into my nose. I wrapped my arms around him as I nuzzled into him “will you stay here please?” I asked weakly “please, just ten minutes”

His hand pet my head and I was lifted back up, I squeezed his shirt and looked up to him in confusion “where are we going?” I questioned and he looked down to me, his fingers tucked a strand of hair behind my ear

“To my room sweetheart” he murmured kissing my head softly and speeding up both flights if stairs.

“Why?” I whispered as he put me down on his bed

“You came back” he responded as though it were obvious, “you came back” he repeated before kissing my lips softly.

His hands unbuttoned my dress at the back and lifted it over my head leaving me in my underwear. I looked up at him nervously but his expression held no malicious intent. He lifted me once more and brought me to his bathroom and pushed my panties down my legs. I stayed silent as he took my bra off and then stripped from his clothes. His arm went round my waist, pulling me to him and bringing us both into the shower. He turned it on and onto the hot temperature I liked.

My eyes shut as he kissed my neck gently, his fingers brushing through my hair to get it all wet. I sighed out as he lathered my hair in shampoo, the heat if the water was much needed after shaking in a forest for over a dozen hours.

“I do love you” I whispered “I’m sorry I didn’t know that until now…and I’m sorry I lied before when I said that I did when maybe I didn’t yet”

“It’s alright” he muttered, rinsing my hair, “I haven’t made this easy for you sweetheart, I admit to that. I understand why you ran away, it’s okay…but I never expected you to come back, I shouldn’t have been so mad…I shouldn’t have put you back down there. You came back, you’re perfect, my precious princess”

I pushed against him closer, pressing our bodies together. “I love you” I whispered again, hugging him to me. We remained silent until we were finished and I was swaddled with one of his big fluffy towels.

His arms kept me to him as he carried me back to his bed, grabbing clothes on his way.

He slipped my silky pyjamas up my legs and over my head before throwing on his boxers and getting into bed.

I looked around for a minute, I didn’t come into Klaus’s room very often. He had a window that could open and he didn’t like to risk me being able to jump. It smelt like him, covered in artwork and the colour scheme was dark. His bed was bigger than mine, bigger than any bed I had ever seen and comfiest too.

I kept still as I felt him combing through my hair and pulling it into a low ponytail. “You want to go look out the window?” He asked softly, normally looking outside was great but after experiencing the world again I didn’t want to go back so I shook my head quickly and lead down beside him.

He pulled me to him, his arms pulling me so his front curled around my back. “You won’t leave again, do you understand?” He questioned though it was really just a statement.

“I won’t leave again” I repeated

“Good girl” he murmured

I turned in his arms to face him and smiled weakly. He leant down and kissed my lips softly a few times “I love you sweetheart, I don’t want anything to happen to you…You know that” he mumbled, his hand cupped my face making my eyes close “I love you” he breathed with a kiss to my forehead “I’m so proud of you for coming back”

“I’ll always come back”

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clerc16 · 5 months

Text

✯ bad idea right? ; charles leclerc

a/n: slowly getting into my olivia rodrigo phase this isn’t funny. also requests are open!

summary: you see your ex, charles leclerc, at your mutual friend’s party. all good, right? well, until he actually talks you ...

warnings: language, alcohol, partying, slightly nsfw?

── ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

He’s one of the last people to walk in. Late, as usual. You ignore his presence, just like you always do since you both broke up; you want nothing to do with him anymore.

You hear his mumbles of ‘I’m sorry’ and some lousy excuse for being late. You roll your eyes ─ those stupid excuses of his.

You make eye contact with him for less than a second as he walks to get himself a drink, and you feel absolutely revolted. You want nothing to do with him anymore.

You take a sip of your drink as your eyes follow him around the room, as you watch him joke around with his friends, sipping on his own drinks.

You hated him so unbelievably much.

“Are you okay?” Your friend asks, snapping you out of your trance.

“Hm? Yeah, I’m alright,” you reply casually, taking another sip of your drink. Your friend nods and smiles, looking around the room, her eyes landing on Charles. She hums and looks at you.

You desperately hope she doesn’t ask you about Charles.

“So... how is it with Charles?” She asks.

Goddammit.

“Um, we don’t talk. I don’t care.” You mutter, glancing at him. Fuck, you made eye contact.

“I mean, he’s been... eyeing you for a while, ever since he came in ─” she begins, stopping to take a sip of her drink.

“─ so I think he wants to talk to you,” she continues. You shrug, not knowing what exactly to say.

“All I’m saying is, give it a go. I mean, what do you have to lose?” She adds. You scoff and shake your head.

“This man...” You begin, sighing.

“This man, this hell of a man, fucked me over then left. I have so much to lose if I talk to him again.”

She sighs and allows her eyes to take another scan of the room, lingering on someone, presumably her boyfriend.

“Well... it’s all up to you. If you do decide to talk to him, though... tell me everything.” She winks as she leaves towards the direction of her boyfriend, leaving you alone with your thoughts again.

You swallow the remains of your drink as you take your phone out, scrolling mindlessly through your timeline. You’re focused on your phone so much you don’t notice that someone has came and stood beside you.

He clears his throat as you snap your head up and look at him. Charles.

“Hey, Y/N,” he smiles nonchalantly.

Fuck that smile of his.

“What?” You reply casually, taking another sip of your drink. He shrugs at your response.

“Nothing, just checking on you. How have you been?” He asks. He’s not making this easy for you whatsoever.

“Charles, come on...” You sigh as you roll your eyes.

“What?” It’s his turn to question now.

“You know what. What is the point of this?”

He shrugs again, looking straight at you. Strangely, his eyes on you make you turn red, your face feeling hot.

“Look, I know that you’re my ex, but can’t we reconnect?”

You shake your head, an expression of disbelief etched on your face.

“No, Charles. No, absolutely not,”

He sighs and rubs his forehead, closing his eyes temporarily.

“Look, I know I was horrible to you, and you deserve so much better, but─”

“That is such a bad idea,” you exclaim.

“Just─”

“Charles, you─”

“Y/N─”

“You can’t possibly be─”

“Can you at least─”

“Charles, you─”

He cuts you off again, but this time, his lips are on yours. It’s a surprise for you at first, but you slowly melt into his touch, kissing him back fiercely.

His hands travel to your waist and yours go to his neck, resting on the back of it. It’s quick and passionate; your mind keeps telling you to pull away but you physically cannot.

Eventually, you both pull away, gasping for breath. His lips are red and your face is flushed.

“Fuck you, Charles Leclerc.” You mumble. He laughs and walks into another room, as you follow him mindlessly. Once you enter and close the door, he pushes you gently against the wall and kisses your neck slowly.

“I hate you so much,” you whisper, out of breath. He only smirks and shakes his head.

“No, you don’t. You definitely don’t.” He mutters into your skin. Fucking hell.

“This is a bad idea, isn’t it?” He teases you, repeating your words from before.

“Shut up, Leclerc.” You sigh.

The next day, you wake up in his bed, only covered by the sheets.

You hate him so unbelievably much. But... maybe reconnecting wasn’t a bad idea.

i am going insane. absolutely insane HOPE YOU ENJOYED! all lyric credits are in bold and are all owned by olivia rodrigo.

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 x you #charles leclerc imagine #formula 1 #scuderia ferrari #charles leclerc x you #fanfics

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