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#i am so so sorry for drawing this comparison
nyx-aira · 2 months
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Im so sorry but why does the new song remind me of this
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fisheito · 27 days
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collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS
#I AM SO SORRY I DREW YAKUMO AGAIN ADFSJEIADKS LOOK OK so xenole gives me the tiny crying yakumo.#says DO WHATEVER YOU WANT and THUS i get to thinking#my immediate thought was#i'm going to make oli breast boobily while comforting him#bc i was determined to draw xenole's fave this time. i swore it to myself. i WILL stop being so self indulgent#but the chibi on chibi comforting scene didn't sit right with me. it was too straightforward. not something i would draw normally#it was hhhh as u say.... not on brand.? it did not inspire me. idea benched....#so days pass and i'm still pondering ideas on what to do to the sad spaghetti.#configurations of clan members danced in my head. some defending yaku. some comforting. some bullying#the ideas usually involved at least oli or kuya bc once again. xenole bias#then while i'm in the shower i got frustrated with my lack of ideas and thought#i'll jujst eat.him. just. chew on him. i'm tired of him#AND THE IMAGE OF KUYA EATING YAKUMO FOR BREAKFAST POPPED INTO MY MIND#originally it was going to be kuya eating yakuflakes and oli giving him serious side eye but then the brain went#WHAT IF IT'S YAKUMO WATCHING KUYA EAT YAKUMO. THAT IS FUNNY. IT MUMST HAPPEEN#BUT I REFUSED at first. i was angry at myself. this is not a competition to see how you can STILL sHOVE YAKUMO into a drawing.#plus the composition would shrink xenole's chibi down! i would take over so much space by comparison! THE DISRESPECT! TO THE COLLAB PROCESS#but once i get fixated on smth...well. i ended up doing the idea and just praying xenole wouldnt eviscerate me for it#i'm sorry my liege. my grip on the reins was weak. the goofy clown horses went stampeding#so idk now it's the two of em having a peaceful breakfast in kuya's cabin but only kuya is at peace and yakumo's this close to a breakdown#i feel like there should be something in the space between them. a speech bubble or something . something mean is being said#kuya#yakumo#yakuya
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meyhew · 5 months
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watching cariolanus devolve as a person knowing he is fully capable of love and compassion but craves control and comfort above all else and will ultimately choose the option that will optimize his chances of being in control and living the most comfortable life, even if that means consciously and deliberately giving up on love so that there is no chance he will ever falter again. cut out that emotion from the root, even though at that point in time he has no real desire to seek out the highest position of power. he mostly just wants to be in control of his life  
watching the brainwashing run soooo deep that even being out in the districts doesn’t help him see the rebels as people. if anything, it reinforces his fascist upbringing that everyone outside of the capitol is subhuman and must be controlled—and that too only by the capitol. every attempt at appealing to his humanity fails because he needs order in the world, and he’s been taught from a very young age what order should look like. he only has one understanding of the way things should be
all of it being a social commentary and critique of the american government and watching the state of the world currently as people dance around the fascist ideas they have and are currently being bombarded with, many of them even knowing to some extent that it is happening but they’d rather not do anything to disturb their complacency so going along with the status quo it is. suzanne collins you never miss a beat 
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ziptie-bouquet · 5 months
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Rain World has a big I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream feel to it. You can't die. There is a supercomputer capable of sentience who is trapped inside its own metal body. He was built to think about issues too complex for the ones who made him. He is unable to change his core programming. He can't die either. His purpose is meaningless after the death of his creators. He has a halo and calls himself a God. He produces rain that kills everything it touches. He is angry at his creators to the point of driving himself mad. I do think it's very interesting how ultimately Five Pebbles IS in Ted's situation. He is stuck in a can completely isolated, he can't talk with anyone because his communication system has been cut. He is left to think, trapped in his own body and unable to interact with the outside world. He can only see it through his overseers.
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transingthoseformers · 10 months
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Last comment reminds me of that one Netflix trilogy fic in which Jetfore is SG Jetfire who switched places with normal Jetfire and he and baseline Starscream have the most toxic relationship. They fully embrace making his just as bad as other SG Autobots and BL Starscream finds out when he goes to the SG verse and finds BL Jetfire and himself and they become involved. Need to find it.
Wait there's Netflix trilogy fics? I need to find those
Ohhoho yes. Yes they would. Especially since I don't think even BL Jetfire and BL Starscream have a good dynamic in the Netflix Trilogy? It would be even worse.
On the other hand, BL Jetfire and SG Starscream would have such an interesting dynamic because of how much baggage Netflix trilogy Jetfire has, but it's repairable with hard work. Things would be so, so interesting. Especially since the Netflix trilogy is so gritty, and neither side has anyone like SG Soundwave. SG Soundwave is a goddamn delight, I love him, his job is so important. The SG designs for the Netflix Trilogy would be so fucking pretty.
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katyspersonal · 8 months
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When you started drawing? And how? Your works are so detailed and you feel the perspective so Q_Q Your drawing of old hunter from DLC is incredibly cool, I am looking respectfully
Oh- You mean this ( x ) one? Haha, yeah, it was an art commission, so I tried to give it the best I could... Though maybe using something I was paid for as a chance to practice perspective was a little irresponcible :') But the customer was happy, and this is what matters!
To be honest, I've been drawing for as long as I can remember...? I have quite the regrets about having basically none of my drawings from childhood survive, because it's been a LOT. But I've been going over the top with details, colors and settings since the age of like, 4-5 I think? I recall the caretakers at kindergarden REALLY loving my drawing of underwater, because I killed it with variety of fish and seaweed, despite having no references or knowledge! Also, fun fact - the very first art criticism of my life from me was towards a girl that colored every woman in her coloring book as blonde with blue eyes! I criticized her saying that there were other colors for people and that it was boring to be so samey dsfjjdshfsd Had to apologize, but.. yeah, it was the ultimate "I've always been this way" moment if I've seen one. :')
I used to visit classes to practice my drawing in elementary school, though! But it was mostly environment and animals, when I was more interested in drawing people at that time! The period from 8 to 12 years was the one where I kept creating OCs obsessively, and stories for them, and I've had like 6 comics I've been drawing and coloring at the same time (mostly comedy + fantasy)! I think what really inspired me to start creating the comics and characters that were mostly young girls with elemental powers was the Russian comic, Rainbow Knights x) (Журнал "Юла", припоминаешь? хд) I was obsessed with it, and I was obsessed with excuse to use more colors, effects and nature/elemental aesthetic. And yes, it was all trdaitional! I love using crayons, markers, pens and pencils for coloring. My clumsy hands were never good for paintbrushes... I moved more onto digital around the age of 14. It was when I've found a summer job, and earned enough money to buy a tablet! So.. I started prioritize digital art since then! But it had the form of me first drawing something on the paper, and then scanning and fixing/lining/coloring it on the computer for a LONG time! Well, it was taking some time to get used to, as well, so I also had some drawings I did with my mouse and vector tool in PS or SAI, like this:
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It is one of the only few remaining "ancient" ones, since most of them got lost forever on the old hard drive! ...I still HAVE this hard drive, I just have no idea how to extract anything from it.. It is kinda broken :U But if I get my hands on very old doodles trapped there, I will share!
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^ I believe this was the first doodle that I did 100% on the computer AND with the tablet! Without mouse, without first drawing traditonally and then digitally, but just on the computer, from start to finish! But it was still hard to do, so I kept with the use of paper and pencil for some more while. Like- I hoped I'd find some old drawings for this ask, but all I found were traditional versions of some of my drawings!
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You could tell that using traditional paper + pencil were beneficial for anatomy and proportions. And that I used to be better at that, VERY much better. And that it was sorta... easier to 'get lost' in the process? It was a simpler life when not only I was far less depressed and broken, not only I had more spare time in schoo/uni years, but also just... I did not feel burnt out. Or guilty over the fact of not finishing new drawing "fast enough" (and thus, looking like a loser). I also had less things online to drain my spare time, less distractions... I kinda miss that time, really...
All in all, I've never learned to draw PROPERLY. I was self-taught but not studying too hard, mostly I was just analysing art of artists I loved to improve my own, and asking advice from good artists to fix this or that! Hence, my skill used to be better! Year 2015-16 was my most productive year artistically! I've been drawing a bunch of (then) popular cartoon stuff, as well as TONS of fanart for Rick and Morty RP community, and all the things were sooooo bright, colorful and full of energy...
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And now meet the man that sorta ended my art career :^) I've picked interest in Mark (Endlish localisation called him Marx and I hate it lol), and that pulled me into the rest of K1rby. Except I could not actually play anything (besides 64 Crystal Shards that I emulated), so I compensated with letsplays and anime. And Super Paper Mario was a side obsession. xD But.... yeah, since MARK, dark ages for my art started. No, no, my art was good! Awesome, even! I kept people begging me to "please draw K1rby again" for years since fandom shifting! Words like, 'no one ever cared about this universe and characters the same way you do'... But! Drawing 'creatures' for 2-3 years completely destroyed my prior (already loose) knowledge of human anatomy and proportions, and I am still struggling to recover that former skill! :')
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Finally, year later, around February/March 2021, I've gotten pulled into Bloodb0rne! Badly. And thanks to Mic0lash. Huh, it is always some madman, isn't it? xD But I felt very self-consious about my art... I felt like serious, detailed, dark and beautiful atmosphere of BB deserved better than my "overly cutesy" and "tone-deaf" art.... annnnd if this sounds like something I'd never say, but rather as an unfair criticism from some antsy reddit-ish asshole? It is because it is EXACTLY what it was! :')
But in either case, the Doll was the first time I've used paper and pencil again in many years. I felt so... alive? I recall the feeling I could only describe as 'blood returned in my veins' but spiritual, you know? It felt like so much fun! To remember how to draw traditonally, to break out of my 'round cutesy' comfort zone- heck, I even downloaded brushes for my SAI for the first time in my life, just to color the characters better! Learned new coloring style, too: usually my coloring was very rigid and relying on very concrete colors for shadow and base.. but from this point on, I prioritized more 'chaotic' approach, as I felt it was more appropriate!
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....and so, now we are here. x)
You could tell that some of the things I am just used to persisted, and that colorful, "childish" energy is still slipping through the cracks. Soulsb0rne games are ideal for how my mind works... but perhaps not for how my soul works. There is just something in me that craves that sillyness, overly colorful designs and settings, and maybe ER is closer to that aesthetic? Yeah, had I not been criticized on my art harshly upon joining BB, maybe my art would've been way more cute and 'free'! I always loved drawing many details, but something about the route I've taken about drawing made it very heavy. My brain short-circuits at the AMOUNT of the details I keep in mind, yet I can't rest unless I got it "at least 90% correct", even when it is a darn shitpost ;-; I will figure out what went wrong compared with the way I used to draw humans..... someday.
Thank you for asking, though! Ha! Honorable mention: tons of shitposty comics and doodles I kept drawing in classes, both school and uni! x)
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k2padfoot · 3 months
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Perfect
Eddie Munson x Y/n
summary: when your mind is plagued by bad thoughts Eddie wants nothing more than to comfort and reassure you just how perfect you really are. best friends to lovers.
warnings: TW. body shaming, mentions of anorexia, smoking, self loathing, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff. SMUT!! (unprotected sex).
A/N: this fic is based on my own experience of skinny shaming. i don’t think a lot of people realize how hurtful it really is to be shamed in any way about your body. please be understanding and kind, all bodies are beautiful! also this is my first time writing smut so i hope y’all like it!!
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“She’s so skinny it’s gross.”
“Look at her chicken legs.”
“Does she even eat anything?”
“She looks anorexic.”
“Isn’t she eighteen? She literally looks twelve.”
When your ears caught echo of the painful words from the girls behind you, you abandoned your lunch tray, it’s contents untouched on the table. A rush of emotion had you swiftly leaving the cafeteria, seeking solace beyond its walls.
It's not as if the whispers were unfamiliar to you. They’ve been a haunting refrain since childhood, but with the passing of time their intensity swelled, casting a darker shadow over you.
You harbored a self-loathing, a visual disdain to your own reflection, fueled by the relentless comparison to every other girl in school. Your legs seemed too slender, arms too skinny, lacking in curves, and a chest that barley made its presence known.
You found yourself walking into the woods and taking a seat at the aging picnic table nestled in the clearing. As you settled onto its weathered surface you allowed your head to fall into your hands while the tears began to flow.
The cascade of tears persisted, blurring your perception of the world around you, but the subtle sound of someone settling into the seat across from you reached your ears.
Aware that it was none other than your best friend, Eddie Munson, you didn’t have the courage to lift your gaze and meet his eyes.
You felt his comforting touch on your wrist as he delicately withdrew your trembling hands from your face, his voice laced with genuine concern, “What’s wrong sweetheart?”
Your gaze barley rose to meet his, and the tears that welled in your eyes tugged at the strings of Eddie’s heart.
A fractured sigh escaped your lips, “You know just the perfect little cheerleaders spitting insults at me like usual.” You remarked with a scoff, a touch of bitterness in your voice.
A wave of distress swept over Eddie, unsettled by your words. “I’m sorry sweetheart. They’re just a bunch of preppy assholes, I know how shitty it feels to be the focal point of their laughs but you don’t deserve that. How can I help?”
In the quiet recess of your mind you considered a little temporary solution. “Hmm, you got a joint on you by any chance?”
A sly grin splayed on his lips, “Of course I do.” He quickly reached into his backpack pulling one out and sparking the end, “Don’t go anywhere without one.” Your eyes were glued to his lips as he took the joint into his mouth and slowly exhaled the smoke.
You finally broke the unyielding hold of your gaze when Eddie passed you the joint, taking it in between your lips and drawing in the smoke, Eddie couldn’t help but stare at the way it left your lips.
After the joint was passed back and forth until it was no longer burning you began to gather your things.
“You going home?” Eddie asked as he started to get up from the table.
“Yeah, don’t really feel up to going back to class.” You said, following his actions standing up and swinging your bag over your shoulder.
“Okay, I’ll join you.”
A rough sigh left your lips, “No Eddie, you have to go back to class if you want to graduate this year. I’ll be fine, seriously don’t worry about it.”
Eddie was hesitant to leave, in all honesty he just wants to take you home and tell you how beautiful you are, but he knows he can’t. “If you’re sure.” He said.
“I am Eddie, I’ll see you later tonight okay? Now get back to class.” You teased and he nodded before turning around, reluctance lingering in his every step away from you.
Eddie Munson found himself entangled in an enchantment with you, a feeling reciprocated by your own infatuation of him. However, the unspoken truth hung in the air, an uncharted territory where vulnerability loomed, both fearing to confess thinking the other might not feel the same.
Eddie hurried out of Hellfire in anticipation to get to your house. It was a movie night just like every Friday night, and in the wake of todays events, Eddie felt an undeniable urge to make this night special for you. To get your mind off of the harsh realities of the day. So he stopped at the general store grabbing all of your favorite snacks and picked up one of your favorite horror films from family video, A Nightmare on Elm Street.
When Eddie pulled into your driveway he was confused to see no lights on, he knew your parents were out of town but not even your bedroom light was on. Eddie jumped out of the van and hurried to the door, he knew you were home because your car was in the driveway so with his hands full of snacks he knocked a few times.
After the fourth unanswered knock, he hesitated briefly before cautiously turning the doorknob, and to his surprise it was unlocked.
Venturing into the dimly lit living area, he called out your name, the echoes of his voice fading into an unsettling silence. He continued on through the house making his way upstairs to your bedroom. As he reached your bedroom, Eddie’s worry intensified at the absence of your presence.
In that moment a delicate murmur of hushed sniffles reached his ears coming from the direction of your bathroom.
As he got closer he could hear the sobs racking through your body resonating through the closed door like a haunted melody.
Slowly as to not startle you he eased the door open revealing a sight that sent a shiver through him. There you were, a fragile silhouette against the wall, your form cradled by the floor. Knees drawn close, hands entwined in strands of your hair, and your face pressed against the haven of your legs. 
“Y-Y/n?” Eddie's voice, a gentle whisper, faltered as he knelt before you. "Sweetheart, I'm here.” He uttered, his warm hands finding solace on the curve of your knees.
At the sudden awareness of his presence, your head snapped upward, revealing your puffy red-rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks. Your words struggled to escape, “Shit, I-I forgot you were coming over, I’m sorry.” A wave of guilt and embarrassment draped over you as you let your head fall back to your knees and your fingers grip into your hair.
“Princess, please stop pulling at that beautiful hair of yours.” Eddie’s gentle touch eased your hands from your head. “Can you look at me?” He whispered, delicately lifting your chin, his eyes searching the depths of your own.
“Talk to me sweetheart, tell me what’s bothering you.” His soft voice accompanied the feather-light dance of his thumb along the curve of your cheek.
A pause hung in the air as more tears fell from your eyes. “I-I hate my body. I hate the way I’m so fucking skinny compared to all the beautiful girls at school. I wish that I didn’t look like this, it’s disgusting!”
A heavy ache settled in his chest as he looked at you with sad eyes. “Don’t say that, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen Y/n.” His words softly spilled.
“W-What?”
He smiled gently, fingers softly sweeping to push aside a stray hair from your face, his touch lingering there for a moment. “Yeah, to me your perfect.”
Once more, you lowered your head, “Eddie—
“Stop, just listen to me for a second.” Again, he tenderly lifted your chin coaxing your eyes to meet his. “The first time I saw you, you took my breath away. Everything about you is so captivating, every facet of your being mesmerized me. From your striking eyes, to your infectious smile, the tiny little freckles like constellations on your skin. To the curves of your hips, and the shape of your thighs like a dance of contours, God you are just so beautiful Y/n.”
In that instant, your eyes welled up with tears stirred by his unexpected honesty. Caught in the shock of the moment, you instinctively surged forward bridging the gap as your lips met his in a tender, unexpected embrace.
Initially catching Eddie off guard, the awareness finally dawned on him that your lips had found his, instantly melting into the kiss. His hands ascended, gently cradling your face, while you fervently grasped at his soft locks. You both felt a whirlwind of sensations as neither of you had the intention to stop, yet the necessity for a breath of air became an undeniable plea.
As you reluctantly pulled away, a glistening thread of your mixed saliva separated your entwined lips. In that lingering moment you exchanged an intense gaze full of unspoken emotions.
“W-Wow, I’ve been waiting forever to do that.” He admitted, a warm smile splayed across his lips that was woven with threads of love.
You couldn’t help the flutter of butterflies in your stomach, and the undeniable love swelling within your chest. “Me too.”
“Good, I’ve always liked you I just didn’t want to ruin our friendship incase you didn’t feel the same way about me.” He told you.
You let out a light hearted giggle, “Well that’s ridiculous isn’t it, because I’ve had feelings for you for years now.”
A curious frown etched across his brow, “So you’re saying you could’ve been mine all along?”
“Yes, because I’ve always been yours Eddie. I think we’ve wasted some serious time tiptoeing around our feelings for each other.” You let out a playful laugh.
“Well we don’t have to waste time anymore, do we?” Eddie said, his lips turning into a cunning grin.
You had to squeeze your thighs together when your eyes caught the bulge forming in his jeans. “Well, I-I guess you’re right.”
He roughly planted his lips on yours in a needy manner, swiftly pulling you to your feet and tugging you flush against his chest. His hands were exploring all over your body as he gently guided you towards your bedroom.
He softly tossed you onto the bed before reconnecting your lips in a desperate manner. “So beautiful.” Eddie muttered between kisses before his lips trailed to your neck and then to your ear. When he placed a gentle bite to your ear a hushed moan escaped your lips.
After placing a few more marks on your neck he drew himself back, his hands reaching for the hem of your t-shirt.
“W-wait!” you hastily rose your voice.
Eddie’s eyes went wide with fear, “I-I’m sorry, did I do something wrong? Is this too much?”
“No! No, it’s just— I don’t want you to be disappointed.” A sad frown cast upon your face as you looked down to your hands.
“Disappointed? Baby I could never be disappointed by you. Please, let me show you how truly beautiful I think you are.” Eddie pleaded with you, his hands gliding softly up your arms until they reached your cheeks, gently cradling your face to meet his gaze.
You hesitated for a moment but you trust Eddie, and his earlier words echoed in the chambers of your mind reassuring your decision to trust him. “O-Okay, you can take it off.”
Gently Eddie pulled off your shirt and you instinctively wrapped your arms around your chest as to conceal yourself.
“Hey, don’t do that sweetheart, I want to see all of your beauty.” His gentle words resonated as he reached for your arms, slowly encouraging them away from the protective fortress of your chest.
“See, you’re gorgeous baby. Is it okay if I take this off?” He gestured to your lacy pink bra and you tentatively nodded.
The clasp of your bra broke free and Eddie took this chance to take the rest of it off, “Fuck.” He let out a hushed breath as he took in the sight of your bare chest. “So fucking perfect.” He muttered through sloppy kisses down your neck until he reached your breast. Without warning he took your nipple into his mouth and began swirling his tongue around it, earning a loud moan from you.
“Mmm, you sound so pretty baby.” Eddie groaned against your tits.
Through muffled moans you pushed Eddie off of your chest, “Eds, c-can you take your shirt off? I wanna see you too.” You practically begged.
Eddie grinned at your anticipation before throwing his shirt over his head and onto the floor. Your fingers ran across his exposed skin stopping to trace the tattoos adorning his chest. “You’re so pretty Eds.”
Immediately he closed the gap between you engulfing your lips into his with a hungry intent. Swiftly his hand slid into your shorts and found your clothed heat, he didn’t waste a minute before rubbing soft circles on your clit causing you to moan even more. “Eddie, please.” you plead against his lips.
“Shh princess, I wanna show you how pretty you are.” Before you could grasp any thoughts they were quickly swept away when he yanked down your shorts along with your panties earning a sultry gasp from your lips.
“Shit. You’re fucking unreal.” Eddie kneeled in front of you staring at you like a piece of art. He bent down planting tender kisses across the landscape of your stomach, continuing with equal devotion down to the curve of your hips. Delicate kisses lingered in the warmth between each thigh, “So, so beautiful.” He whispered with an unwavering devotion
You could feel your heat dripping in anticipation. In any other situation you would’ve halted any advance to get your shirt off, let alone your pants, but this was Eddie. Eddie, who was currently worshiping you as if you were a divine being.
“I’m gonna make you feel so good princess.” He uttered just before engulfing his face into your pussy. “Ahh, fuck Eddie!” you cried out between breathless moans, his tongue lapping at your clit like a starved animal.
“That feel good baby?” Eddie struggled to say with his mouth on your cunt.
“Fuck yes baby, keep going!” you shouted out in bliss.
A wave of confidence swept through him at the passionate sounds he was eliciting from you, compelling him to slip a finger into your entrance while he worked at your clit with his tongue.
Intense waves of pleasure began to consume your body as his fingers plunged in and out of your hole, finding yourself having no control you gripped onto Eddie’s hair, “I-I’m gonna, fuck I’m—
“Let go sweetheart, I’ve got you.” His words were enough to have your orgasm rushing through you as loud moans and Eddie’s name repeated like a mantra from your lips.
He quickly lapped up your juices, gazing at you with blown eyes before gently caressing his hands up and down the length of your legs. “Jesus, I love these gorgeous legs.” He uttered softly before trailing his hands up to your hips, delicately tracing them with the grace of his fingertips. “And these sexy hips.”
Before you knew it his hands were gliding up your stomach, ascending to your chest, only to stop with a gentle touch to your face. “Beautiful girl.” He whispered, allowing his thumb to tenderly stroke your cheek.
His sweet words stirred a spring of tears in your eyes, an irresistible surge of emotion that had you crashing your lips into his. Your lips worked in sync, tongues dancing in a fervent rhythm, creating a mess of wet kisses and the occasional collision of teeth.
“Eddie?” You pulled away from the kiss, “I want to feel you.”
Eddie could feel his cock angry against his jeans and he wanted nothing more than to give it to you and only you. He quickly jumped up, pulling his pants down along with his boxers before he reclaimed his position, settling once again atop you. In a breathy whisper, he spoke softly, his lips grazing yours, “You don’t have to tell me twice sweetheart.”
He took his cock in his hands and swiped it through your glistening folds a few times before slapping it against your clit. “Oohh, Eddie please.” You begged.
A content smile traced its way across his lips as he hovered above your entrance, leaning down to kiss you before sinking into your pussy. An audible gasp could be heard from your lips as his cock filled you up, “Fuck you’re so tight.” Eddie practically moaned into your mouth.
He was taking it slow, indulging in the warmth of your walls, but you reached a point where you couldn’t take it any longer. “Eddie fuck me, fuck me faster!” You practically yelled after parting your lips from his, and your legs wrapped around his back, a deliberate gesture to have him deeper inside of you.
Eddie reached his limit, unable to resit your desperate pleas for him, unable to resit the way your walls sucked him in. “Yeah? You want more?” He said, words laced with desire. You watched as he began to relentlessly thrust into you, the way his cock slid in out of your wet hole so easily had your head spinning, and his hands trailing all over your body earned more sinful moans from your mouth.
“Mmm, that’s it. You’re so fucking gorgeous Y/n.” He uttered before seizing your hips with a firm grip to draw you closer as he settled onto his knees, a new angle that had your eyes rolling into the back of your head.
With each rough thrust he skillfully targeted that sensitive spot you craved the most, you were seconds away from unraveling, that familiar euphoric wave rendering your brain with bliss and leaving you breathless. Your walls began clenching around him and he knew you were coming undone, “Cum for me baby, cum all over my cock.”
As your orgasm washed over you, you were a moaning mess unable to stop yourself from the cries and disarray of words leaving your lips. “Ahhh! Fuck, oh fuck Eddie I love you!”
Eddie’s thrust we’re starting to get sloppy as his own orgasm was approaching, “Say that again.” He muttered, grabbing your chin with a gentle but firm touch ensuring you were looking at him.
“I love you Eddie.” You repeated for him, and Eddie’s hips rutted into yours roughly.
“Ohhh fuck Y/n, I love you so much!” He practically cried out, his lips latching onto yours as his cock twitched inside of you, his warm release spilling into your pussy.
Through breathless pants and sloppy kisses, Eddie laid you back down on the bed and slowly eased out of you. “Let me go get something to clean you up.” He told you before darting to your the bathroom.
When he came back, a fresh towel in hand, he couldn’t help but smile at the way you looked so fucked out against the pillows.
“I’m just gonna clean you up quick.” He said and in response you mindlessly nodded as he gently wiped away your mixtures of cum.
After tossing the towel into the hamper, he leaned down to grab his discarded clothes when you protested. “No don’t, lay with me?”
The warm smile upon his lips illuminated the room as he gracefully joined you in bed. You gently raised your head, resting it upon his chest, as he nestled below you. His arms instinctively wrapping around you, legs entwined, a profound sense of comfort and familiarity enveloped you both, as if this was the missing piece, the way you were always meant to be.
Eddie’s fingers gently threaded through you hair, almost sending you into a soothing slumber when his voice gently interrupted your sleepy state.
“Can I ask you something?”
You blinked your tired eyes glancing upward at him,“Hmm? Yeah sure.”
Eddie’s voice carried a delicate hesitation, “Did you really mean that? You know when you said—
“When I said I love you? Yeah, I meant it.” You interrupted before he could finish.
Emotion quietly unfolded in the depths of his gaze, a softness reflecting in his eyes at your words. “Good, because I did too.”
A broad smile crept across your cheeks as you leaned in sealing the connection with a kiss, a kiss filled with not only passion but the language of love.
As Eddie gently withdrew, his gaze lingered in a tender lock with your eyes, “One more question, can I be your boyfriend?”
A fluttering storm of butterflies danced within the confines of your stomach as a delightful giggle escaped you, “Yes. Yes, yes, 1000x yes!” The sheer excitement had you throwing yourself into his arms as he embraced you with an even firmer grip.
You knew with Eddie by your side, the shadows of doubt would never cast themselves upon you again.
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lovebugism · 1 year
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i am so sorry but reader talking about robin right before making out with eddie is like absolutely the best thing i’ve ever read i’m obsessed i genuinely can’t wait for anything else in that universe that you do
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THE CUSTOMER'S ALWAYS RIGHT | god help the girl
summary: in which you come to terms with the fact that you're hopelessly in love with eddie munson. pairing: virgin!eddie munson x reader word count: 13k warning: phone sex, more discussions of shitty boyfriends, j*son c*rver name drop, talks of unhealthy eating practices, smut 18+ mdni! a/n: this ask has been sitting in my inbox for ages now, but i wanted to save it until robin made an appearance in the series! thank you, anon, for being so sweet! and for the few of you who've been waiting on me to finally post <3 hope you enjoy! xoxo
( PREVIOUSLY ) | ( SERIES MASTERLIST ) | ( NEXT )
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They only met once, but it changed their lives forever. 
That’s what the movie cover reads at least, but the words have long blurred into a jumbled mess at your tunnel vision. John Bender stares you in the face, but all you see is Eddie — boyish and brazen and scowling because he thinks it makes him look intimidating, but nowhere near as cruel as he seems. 
He’s certainly got the hair for it, much longer and curls far wilder than Judd Nelson’s measly set of brushed-back locks. He’s got the terribly animated personality down pat, too; the one that either makes you laugh uncontrollably or squirm in discomfort when it’s pointed your way. And the style’s a pretty fine match also, though you’d argue that no one sports a leather jacket quite like Eddie Munson does.
Wallowing in your boredom at the empty Family Video store on Main Street — where your best friends slave over mundane work with aching backs and a lingering sense of gratefulness that no customer has been in in well over an hour — you find yourself analyzing each character pictured on the front cover of The Breakfast Club.
Robin would surely be Allison, you conclude rather quickly, because their deadpanned glowers are eerily identical. They’ve also got this sort of atypical aura to them, too, like a dark storm cloud or the promise of a long night. But strangely it sparkles — strikes of lightning or a sky full of stars. It draws everyone’s attention to them; even when they’re desperately trying to hide in the very back of a room.
And Steve would be Andrew, not particularly because of his affections for this Allison-Reynolds-Robin-Buckley hybrid you’ve concocted, but because "popular guy with daddy issues" is a trope that fits him far too well. He’s way more likely to get detention for trying to look cool in front of his assholes friends than for anything actually malicious of heart. But that would’ve been years ago now. He’s not that kind of guy anymore. 
He’s soft and sweet — a Brian Johnson sort of soft and sweet, if you will. If Brian wasn’t the brains, but the sweetest dumbass anyone’s ever met.
You realize then, that Jim Hopper would make a mean Richard Vernon. He’s impatient to a fault, almost too stern at times, but never enough to make you genuinely fearful of him. You’ve found that it’s virtually impossible for you to take him seriously when he’s so cartoonishly angry. It’s a match made in heaven, you find, though Jim might take offense to the comparison.
And if Eddie is Bender, then that’d make you the Claire Standish of the bunch.
She’s dreadfully stylish, a bit stuck-up at times, and perhaps a little bit more spoiled than the average person; but it’s not like she ever claimed to be perfect. And you wouldn’t either.
You’ll take more pride in your wardrobe filled with pretty pleated skirts and flouncy dresses than your somewhat glacial disposition. And you might not be drowning in daddy’s money, but you’re certainly spoiled in other ways — if only in the employee discount at Enzo’s that got you wine for cheap and your connections at Family Video that meant free movie nights whenever you wanted.
The bad boy and the princess was a tale as old as time itself. It’s a fairytale you wouldn’t mind living in if it ended how it did in the movies — with a kiss on the cheek and an exchanged diamond earring in the calloused palm of another. A soft pink smile and a celebratory fist in the air.
But you’ve met your fair share of John Bender’s and none of them had been particularly kind to you, let alone had fallen in love with you. 
Maybe that’s because you were no Claire Standish. Never pretty enough, never mousy enough, never pure enough.  You try and dissect why you’ve never been successfully loved, and all the signs point to you, you, you.
You hope Eddie’s different. You need Eddie to be different.
“Something’s wrong with me,” you blurt out of nowhere.
Well, it’s not totally out of the blue for you. You’d been stewing over that thought since you got there — since you left the woods with damp underwear and the scent of you on Eddie’s fingers.
But to Steve and Robin, who’d stayed relatively silent and locked eyes only once after they noticed how abnormally hushed you’d gone, it catches them quite off guard.
Steve lifts his heavy head from where he mans the counter. His tired eyes leave the computerized catalog for the first time in forty minutes, and he has to rub at them with the bottom of his palms to see you properly. Meanwhile, Robin crouches at your side, taking returned tapes from the bin sitting next to her and placing them back upon the shelf you lean against. 
She blinks up at you, deep ocean eyes swimming with apprehension, like she can sense the spiral you’ve just about twisted yourself into.
“What do you mean?” she wonders, ever the supportive best friend, as she plucks Heather’s, Pretty in Pink, and Weird Science from the bin and sets them onto their assigned rows in the Teen Drama section.
“Eddie won’t fuck me.”
Neither of them is particularly stunned by the unabashed nature of your admission.
Not only have they both fucked you at one point or another, but they’re your best friends — no one’s ever going to know you quite the way they do. It leaves little left unsaid between the three of you, with secrets you’ve all sworn to take to your graves. Steve once stuck a finger in his ass to see if he liked it (he did) and Robin sometimes gets off on her childhood teddy bear (rather ironically named Mr. Snuggles). 
So this? This was nothing. Especially in comparison to all the other shit you’ve confessed to them because god knows the whore of Hawkins has a plethora of stories to tell.
Steve is more shocked by the name that leaves your mouth than anything else. “Eddie Munson?” he repeats with furrowed brows, like he had to have heard you wrong.
You bring your chin to your right shoulder to look at him, then nod.
“Eddie… The Freak… Munson?”
You nod again, slower for him this time.
“You wanna fuck… Eddie Munson?” Steve reiterates once more, as though the idea was too appalling to be true. “Eddie Munson — The Freak?”
“Yes, Steve,” you huff in irritation.
His face contorts into a puppy-like confusion. A frown settles between his bushy brows and he cocks his head to the side, nose scrunching and his lip quirking slightly. He couldn’t look more disgusted if he tried.
“…Why?”
You groan and tilt your head back dramatically. “That’s not what’s important here, Steve. The better question is why won’t he fuck me?”
The boy’s lack of any actual assistance doesn’t surprise Robin in the slightest — his dumbfounded gaze and innate confusion are actually pretty on brand. It just puts all the burden on her, to help you wriggle out of the mess you’d tangled yourself into. 
It’s not like she isn’t used to it, though, nor does she mind doing it for you. She walks you through your emotions like a professional, squashing out all the burning orange embers for you before they have the chance to burst into flames.
“Well, what do you mean he won’t fuck you? Like… did he actually say that or does he just wanna, you know, take things slow?”
The latter would’ve been way too easy. Eddie’s always been nice enough to you. It’d make sense for him to want to stay unhurried and gentle with you, but those words weren’t exactly in your vocabulary. 
The first time you were alone with him, you were getting yourself off on his thigh after making him come in his jeans. The next time you saw him, after four days of him clinging to your consciousness, there wasn’t as much small talk so much as there were two of his fingers stuffed knuckle-deep inside of you.
You don’t know Eddie’s birthday, but you know how he likes to be touched — squeezed and not rubbed. You don’t know his middle name or how he likes his eggs in the morning or what his relationship with his mother is like, but he’s already made you come. Twice.
You are completely, utterly, and totally incapable of taking things slow. So it wasn’t that. It couldn’t be. So it had to be the other thing. The very scary, terrifying, boogeyman of a thing.
“I mean, I offered to give him a blowjob and he completely turned me down,” you lament in reply.
Robin and Steve wince. Like, physically wince. Their faces scrunch and their heads flinch from something invisible. Audible ooh’s fall from their mouths without them even realizing it, because you don’t get rejected. Ever. Especially not after offering to pleasure someone without much of anything in return.
They don’t mean to react the way they do. The visible shock that coats their features is involuntary more than it is anything, and it only adds to your fears.
“Exactly!” you exclaim.
“I hate to say it, but I think hell might be freezing over as we speak,” Steve half-jokes.
“Well, he was working, right?” Robin asks with raised brows. “Maybe he was just busy.”
“Sorry, Rob, but no guy’s too busy for a blowjob.”
“Real charming, Stevie.”
“Maybe he just has a small dick,” the boy concludes with a shrug.
“I felt his dick,” you shake your head almost immediately. The feeling of Eddie’s hard cock through his denim jeans, all rough and warm against your palm, hasn’t yet left you. “It’s not small.”
“Well, maybe he can’t get it up—”
“Yeah, that’s not a problem either.”
Eddie was rock hard when you left him, throbbing and aching and obviously needing some kind of relief. That’s partly why you’d been so ardent to return the favor, though the other half of it was purely selfish — you haven’t seen a more beautiful sight than Eddie Munson getting off. To deprive yourself of that masterpiece made you feel like you were starving.
You have a hard time imagining the raging hard-on just… dissipating after you’d left him. That means he probably jerked off in the back of his van and you missed it. And if he came, right after he promised everything was okay, that means he just didn’t want you to do it… right?
Steve seems to be caught in the same inner turmoil you’re currently stuck in; and for good reason. In all the years he’s known you, he can count on one hand how many times he’s had to turn you down. And every time, it was because he’d gotten back together with Nancy. It was never because of you. Not once. And sometimes he felt like it hurt him as much as it did you. 
As far as Steve’s concerned, you’re so out of Eddie Munson’s league that you’re not even in his fucking orbit — so the freak show, turning you down, doesn’t make whole lot of sense to him.
“Huh…”
“It’s me. It’s definitely me,” you conclude with the shake of your head. A bitter, almost hysterical laugh spills from your lips. “He thinks I’m fucking ugly or disgusting or something. It’s totally fucking me—”  
Robin completely abandons her basket of tapes then. She rises to stand in front of you, looking timid as she does so. Her raised brows form wrinkles on her freckled forehead and her blue eyes widen to reveal more of the whites of them. She looks like she’s approaching a wild animal. A bomb that’s about to explode.
“Okay… You’re starting to spiral, alright? So let’s just try and take a few deep breaths—”
You don’t listen to her. 
Actually, you do quite the opposite, as you begin to blurt every fleeting thought that crosses your mind.
“I’ve made out with nearly everyone in this stupid town— I’m pretty sure I’ve fucked almost half— and you’d think Eddie would wanna take advantage of that, the way everyone makes him out to be some sort of freak, right? But he hasn’t and at this rate, he won’t, and I just don’t understand why,” you ramble without taking in a single breath. “Usually being a slut is a huge turn-on for guys, you know? But what if Eddie thinks it’s gross? I mean, it is gross— I’m gross—”
You only stop for air when Robin takes your shoulders in both hands. She looks less apprehensive and more stern, as she forces you to look at her.
“Look. I love you, but you need to get a hold of yourself, alright? I know you’re not used to being told no, and I know how much it sucks, but shit happens. I’m willing to bet all the money I’ve ever seen that whatever is going on with Eddie has nothing to do with you, okay? And if it’s making you this upset, maybe you should just talk to him.”
“But I don’t wanna seem like I’m too eager, that’s gross—”
“Then find someone else to fuck,” she offers with her signature Robin Buckley half-smile. “I’m sure it would take you less than five minutes to find a willing participant.”
“Yeah, right here,” Steve jokes from the counter with the pathetic wave of his hand and a dumb grin on his lips. 
You don’t hear him over the voices in your head — half calling you crazy for letting a boy drive you this mad over nothing, and the other half bitterly affirming each of your deep-rooted insecurities.
Your face screws up, like the thought of being with anyone other than Eddie upsets you — it does upset you.
“I don’t want anyone else.”
“Then what do you want?” Robin yells in your face, shaking you by your shoulders.
“I want Eddie!” you shout back without thinking. The words seem to spill out of nowhere. It takes you of all people by surprise. No one in this rat trap town would ever expect the whore of Hawkins to want to settle down, least of all the harlot herself. It’s strange; it’s riveting; it’s really fucking scary. “…Fuck.”
The brunette smirks, proud of herself. “Well. There’s your answer.”
“I hate when you’re right,” you mumble to yourself, pouting as she crouches back down again.
“I know.”
It was a terrifying thought, to know that you were head over heels for someone else. You try to come to terms with what that means. 
Sometimes you think you fall in love with a new person every day. A cute guy holds the door open for you, a pretty girl compliments your outfit — they never think about you again, but they’re on your mind for days. It was so easy to develop such meaningless infatuations, especially when you were bored.
But Eddie was different.
He was a nice guy. A nice guy that was sweet to you just for the sake of being sweet to you; not because he secretly wanted something in return. That made you fall for him at first, but then you just… kept on falling. Eddie Munson was an infinite void you couldn’t crawl your way out of even if you wanted to, even if you tried.
And that’s what frightened you the most.
Because if you really thought about it, you’ve only truly been in love a handful of times. And, sure, it didn’t work out — that was normal — but some of them fucking ruined you. 
You’re still trying to figure out who you are without all of the people that have broken your heart. You’re still fighting like hell every day to recognize the person you see in the mirror, while Billy Hargrove fucks off with a new girl every other week like he didn’t totally destroy you.
But, even still, Eddie was completely different. No one’s ever made you feel the way he makes you feel. And it’s more than the stupid heavy petting — it’s more than anything. It’s never been like this before; not even with the blonde mulleted asshole who ripped your heart to shreds. 
And you’re scared that if you get hurt again, you’ll never be able to come back from it.
“Steve, do you have another copy of Fast Times in the back?” you suddenly ask the boy, tossing him a look over your shoulder.
It’s your last ditch effort to rid yourself of the ponderous, gray doom and gloom surrounding you like some storm cloud. Your comfort movie solves all of your problems — or, at the very least, Phoebe Cates does — but it seems everyone else in town has developed a similar fondness for minute fifty-three of the film and got all the tapes off the shelf before you could get your hands on one.
“You know I keep on in stock for you,” he answers quietly.
He reaches below the counter to pull out a spare copy for you, and your heart swells with the rays of a thousand rising suns and the songs of every morning bird.
Steve told you some time ago that he could change. And back then, all it did was piss you off, because he didn’t want to change for the town slut — for the girl he put through the goddamn ringer. He wanted to change for Nancy. The princess bruised his brittle ego a little, and then he realized what an asshole he’d been to everyone, to you.
But as angry as it made you, you never believed him. “Once the King of Hawkins High, always the King of Hawkins High,” you remarked bitterly.
You wouldn’t say it to his face, for the sake of keeping his ego from inflating all over again, but you could tell he was really changing.
He was kinder, he was softer. He stopped caring about what everyone thought about him, about what not caring would do to his reputation, and started giving a fuck about the people worth giving a fuck about. 
Apparently, you were one of them.
“…Really?”
He nods with a subtle shrug. Like it was no big deal. Like it wasn’t one of the sweetest things he’d ever done for you — keeping your favorite movie on hand so you’ll always have a spare, knowing that it’s the only thing that gets you out of a deep, dark funk sometimes.
“Stevie… You’re gonna make me blush,” you lilt with a grin as you saunter over to him, hands innocently laced behind your back. “You need to be careful, Harrington. I’m gonna start to think you actually like me.”
He scoffs. “I do like you.”
“Yeah, when it’s convenient.”
It’s obvious your joke hits him where it hurts. It serves as a bitter reminder of the asshole he used to be, the douchebag he’s trying like hell to grow out of. He looks up at you with a sheepish, honey-tinted gaze before ducking away again.
A year or more ago it would’ve made you feel good, to know that you hurt him just a fraction of the way he hurt you. But you know that that isn’t the same man standing in front of you now, that he’d rather die than make hurt your feelings, and it makes you feel like shit for saying it in the first place. 
“Sorry,” you apologize with a scrunched nose. The palms of your hands dig into the edges of the counter as you lean against it. Your shrug. “It just kinda came out…”
The barcode scanner in his hand beeps as he passes the thing over the back of the tape — never charging you, just getting the movie out of the database.
“So, uh…” he starts before clearing his throat. He focuses his gaze on the computer and types on the bulky keyboard with the tip of his pointer finger. “You really like this Eddie guy, huh?”
“Maybe. I think so.”
“And he’s not, like… a total freak or anything?”
You can’t tell if he’s trying to look out for you or if he just wants intel on what it’s like trying (and failing) to bang the local weirdo. Either way, it makes a smile tug slow at your lips as you joke: “Not in the way everyone thinks.”
“Jesus,” he winces at the obscenity of your words.
“Sorry,” you apologize again, though the laugh that bubbles from your lips after cancels out any hint of actual sincerity. “You don’t need to give me the talk or anything, Steve. I can take care of myself.”
“…Can you?” he half-jokes.
It makes you falter. “Well… With you and Robin and Hopper constantly on my ass, then yeah.”
“Just don’t want you to get hurt,” Steve finally admits, soft and suddenly shy as he hands the VHS over to you.
“That’s rich coming from you—”
He jerks back the tape before you can take it from him, leaving your hand reaching for thin air. His cinnamon eyes glimmer with a foreign seriousness, not completely unkind, but lacking their usual blithe. “That’s why I’m saying it. I just… I want you to be okay.”
Steve is one of the rare ones, you conclude right then in there — in the liminal emptiness of Family Video, beneath fluorescent lights that cast sharp shadows upon his already chiseled features. He was a mythical creature of a man, one who breaks your heart and does everything in his power to mend it again.
He hasn’t forgotten about what he did to you, not like Billy did, and he won’t. Not ever. He saw what he did to you and he never moved on from it, just matured enough to make sure it never happened again. And he won’t let another unworthy douchebag hurt you like he did. Not if he can help it, at least.
And he did try to warn you about Hargrove, to be fair. You were just the dumbass that didn’t listen.
“Well, me and my Phoebe Cates wet dream are golden, Pony Boy,” you promise. He hands you the tape again and lets you snatch it from his grip this time. “Don’t worry your pretty little head, Stevie.”
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Steve Harrington was right. 
The fleeting thought flashes across your mind for half a second, and you quickly realize that those words have never been uttered in the same sentence before now. But he wasn’t wrong in what he’d said about you, just before you left — you were completely, totally, absolutely, and implicitly unable to take care of yourself.
You nearly passed out in the bathroom after taking the hottest shower of your life, feeling too woozy to slap on anything other than moisturizer because you failed to remember to actually eat something that day. It wasn’t totally your fault, though; if anything, it was because of Eddie and all the butterflies he’d given you that made food the very last thing on your mind.
You half-heartedly dry yourself off, keeping your hair in a towel, while you slip on a cotton set of underwear you’ve had for way longer than what's likely acceptable. Damp and half-naked, you prance into the kitchen to fix Bowie her bowl of dinner before you feed yourself.
You fork a can of wet food onto a flower-shaped plate and let her eat on the counter — because you’re an adult now, and you can do that sort of thing.
The calico purrs while she feasts, but your stomach thunders with negligence. You peek into your mostly bare refrigerator and make a mental note to go grocery shopping when you get paid next week. 
With a lack of food and an even lesser will to cook something, you settle for the half-eaten chocolate bar you keep stashed in the very back of the fridge; kept only for the most special of occasions — when you’re reveling in your loneliness and trying to convince yourself that you can make it on your own.
It was practically the size of your forearm when you first bought the thing at some too expensive candy store in the city. Now it’s no bigger than your hand.
You eat the thing in bed, even though you know you’ll get crumbs everywhere and that it’ll make sleep agonizing for you — if you get any, that is. You’re bound to feel like a total zombie by the time the sun rises and the late-night sweet will likely make its appearance on your skin by then, in a red and raging blemish of a consequence.
You’ll feel empty and starved and surly, a snapping grouch instead of an actual person, until you get some actual food in your system.
And you’re more than aware of all of these things, but you don’t do a single damn thing about them.
You’re nothing but a sulking lump upon an unmade bed, lying in a pitch-black darkness that’s evaded only by the static-y television across your room, trying your best to pretend like you aren’t waiting for Eddie’s phone call. It’s hard to remember to forget him, though, when the movie you’re watching is practically a feature film of him and all the ways he makes you feel.
Spicoli and his terribly inebriated friends slur as they chorus “No shoes, no shirt, no diiiice” and you swear you can feel Eddie’s shoulder bump softly against yours as he laughs, hear every sound of his melodic chuckle in your ear that made you giggle right along with him. The low bass of Moving in Stereo plays in the otherwise empty silence of your bedroom, and every beat feels like the rhythm of your thrusts against his thigh.
Eddie Munson is all-consuming.
Even the thought of him feels physical.
Phoebe Cates all but undresses herself in front of you, but you’re stuck thinking about some guy who lives in a trailer park across town, deals drugs for a living, and can’t graduate high school. You’re a total fucking goner.
Your eyes flutter shut, and instead of the backs of your eyelids, you see Eddie’s trailer. Your lips start to tingle as they kiss his for the first time — hungry, yearning, needing. His thigh is pressed snugly into your cunt, denim jeans rough against your soft cotton panties, and you have to bite back a moan when he tenses every time you squeeze his hard, covered cock.
You can feel it, all of him, like he were here with you now. 
You wish that he were.
His fingers would feel far better, leave far more sparks of electricity in your belly, than the ones as you sneak through the hem of your underwear.
You try and take things slow with yourself, to be as gentle as he had been with you earlier in the woods, but it feels strange to treat yourself with so much tenderness. To touch your pussy like it’s the first time it’s ever been touched. Like it’s a beautiful thing you need to be sweet to.
Maybe you find it so foreign to be careful with yourself because no one has ever been careful with you.
No one, except for Eddie.
Your touch doesn’t rival his. It doesn’t even come close.
No matter how tightly you squeeze your eyes shut or how hard you try to pretend that they’re his fingers inside of you, you can’t make yourself feel as good as he did.
Your fingers aren’t as rough as his guitar-string-scarred ones and they don’t caress your clit with the same methodical care. They don’t fill you quite the same either, nowhere near as satisfying as his much thicker ones.
And you’re no stranger to masturbation, not by any means. Sometimes it’s the only way you can guarantee an orgasm for yourself when you’ve got a partner who cares so little about your own pleasure. But Eddie was different. Eddie cared — so much so, that he’s gotten more orgasms out of you than you’ve gotten from him, which is something you’ve never said about anyone else you’ve been with.
It’s rare and unfamiliar, a bouquet of all things refreshing and terrifying and strange, tied together with a pretty little ribbon.
You know that you can make yourself come. It’ll just take way too long to actually be worthwhile and won’t be nearly as mind-blowing as you need it to be. You won’t be left with trembling thighs and nearly numb legs — just a pitiful excuse for an orgasm that you could get from any one of your exes with half as much work.
What you need is Eddie. 
And you hate that. You hate how much you need him and you’re terrified of what that means.
As far as precedent goes, right when you start needing someone is usually when they start to leave. It’s like fucking clockwork most of the time — like everyone knows that you’re a ticking time bomb and eventually it gets too risky to stand too close to you. 
You’ll just have to keep Eddie at arm's distance. So he won’t see the grenade that you are.
You pull your fingers out of your wanting cunt, still slick and throbbing with a need that you can’t give it, when the phone rings.
The high-pitched shrill in the quiet makes you tense like it’s the first time you’ve ever heard the damn thing. Your breath catches in your throat, first out of fright and then at the inclination of who waits for you on the other line.
Suddenly, you’re scrambling to collect yourself. As though there was any possibility that Eddie might be able to see you through the phone line.
You wipe your wet fingers haphazardly on the cotton of your underwear and sit up straighter from your ungracefully lazed position. Then you count to five — one mississippi… two mississippi… three — so Eddie won’t think you’re some kind of crazy person who doesn’t have anything better to do than wait for his call. 
So he won’t know that’s exactly what you are.
You lift the ruby red rotary from its hook at your bedside table and stretch the corkscrew cord to press it to your ear. “…Hello?”
“Yeah, hi. I’d like to order a pizza. Half pepperoni, half hawaiian.”
You roll your eyes at his dumb joke, even though the familiarity of his voice makes you smile. It warms you like a home-cooked meal, like you were high-pitched and starving before and now you’re on the soothing comedown of finally being satiated.
“Yeah, sorry, we’re closed.”
“Then why’d you pick up the phone, huh?” he teases back. You swear you can hear the grin in his voice. You didn’t know a smile could be so audible. It makes you wonder if he can hear yours — if you’re doing a real shit job at pretending. You anxiously twirl the cord with the pointer finger of your free hand.
“Because I’ve been waiting for you to call me all night, dummy.” 
Your answer is more honest than either of you were expecting. 
Eddie’s sigh crackles through the shoddy reception. “Yeah. Sorry ‘bout that, sweetheart. I’ve been working all night. I only got home, like, five minutes ago.”
You can hear the heavy exhaustion in his voice. “Rough day?”
“Kinda,” he answers with a shrug. You can hear the grating squeak of his mattress as he plops down onto his bed. “I dealt to one of Jason’s goons today… They always give me a hard time.”
“I’m sorry,” is all you can think to answer. 
Eddie’s been the brunt of every joke since seventh grade — people made fun of too big clothes, his too wild hair, his too loud music. But he took it all in stride, laughing with everyone else before volleying a harsher joke back in response. You almost started to think that he liked it. That, somewhere deep down, he was fond of all the attention he got from people who supposedly couldn’t stand him.
But it hurts to know that it hurts him.
“Don’t apologize. It’s not like you did anything,” he assures with a soft laugh. He makes the bold decision to be honest then, too. “You, uh… You made my day a whole lot better, actually.”
You don’t know if he’s talking about the brief fling in the woods or the phone call you’re sharing now or if you particularly care either way. Your heart flutters like it’s been kissed by the wings of a butterfly.
“Really?”
“Yeah. I mean… I don’t know— I couldn’t stop thinking about you, you know. And, knowing that I was gonna get to talk to you again kinda got me through the day, I guess… And, yes, I am fully aware of how lame that sounds, but—”
You don’t get to hear the rest of his excuse, of why what he just told you totally isn’t lame, because you’re covering the receiver with your palm and turning to squeal into your pillow. A far more pathetic sight, in your humble opinion.
There hasn’t been a more fulfilling feeling than this one, to know that he’s been feeling the same way you’ve been feeling about him this whole time. It’s better than all the orgasms he could give you combined, to be loved so wholly.
“…You okay?” you hear his muffled voice ask after you’ve gone suddenly AWOL.
You press the phone back to your ear and nod like he can see you. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good. The phone… fell— you said you just got home?”
“Uh, yeah. I met with Hellfire for a bit at school. We’re almost at the end of the Cult of Vecna, so they’re kinda on my ass about it. The little shits are obsessed.”
“Well, they should be. It’s a really good campaign, Eds.”
“Thanks to you,” he mutters. You can almost picture the glimmer in his button eyes and the shaky half-smirk he always looks at you with when he gets all shy.
“That was all you, Eddie Spaghetti,” you retort. “I still have no idea how you did it.”
“Did what?” he wonders, chuckling a bit at the nickname.
“Make something so beautiful out of thin air.”
Lying in the depths of his bedroom, blanketed by the darkness and bathing in streams of moonlight, Eddie feels his breath catch in his throat. 
For the first time in his life, he doesn’t have a joke to spew out on the spot. He’s speechless, just for a moment, a quick blink of a second, with nothing to say. Because, if he really thinks about it, that’s sort of what happened with you.
You were just his customer and he was just your dealer.
You were a loyal client and then a girl way out of his league that he developed a too big a crush on. Then you made him come in his underwear and washed the sticky stains out of the denim for him. Now you’re on the phone with him. You let him tell you all about his shitty day and apologize like you weren’t the only good thing about it — like you aren’t the only good thing, period.
It’s not the most cliche love story, nor is it the most beautiful, but it has his cynical little heart beating like the wings of a hummingbird.
Then, when all the mushy mess fades like fog, he finally thinks of something to say.
“It’s the witchcraft, sweetheart,” he shrugs to himself. “Didn’t you hear? I’m a devil-worshipping freak.”
“You know that’s not it, Eds,” you retort with the roll of your eyes.
You know that it’s hard, to be a metalhead from the wrong side of the tracks in the eighties — at the height of the Satanic Panic and all the delusional craze. That shit’s followed him since freshman year. Even still, it nips at his ankles like rabid dogs.
Maybe you were never naive or bored enough to believe all the rumors, but Eddie Munson was always more than that to you.
“No?”
“You can blame it on being a freak show all you want, but I know it’s because you’re one of the funniest, smartest, most creative guys I’ve ever met—”
“You must not know a ton of guys then, sweetheart,” he interjects playfully, like he couldn’t stand to hear you compliment him any longer. You’d give anything to see his blushing cheeks just now.
“…You’re kidding right?” you giggle in response.
“Sorry— that’s— I didn’t mean it like— It was— I was joking,” he stammers, frightened that he might’ve offended you in some way. 
It only makes you laugh harder. Both of you know you lost count of all the guys you ‘know’ a long, long time ago. You do imagine it’s somewhere near ‘a ton’, though.
“I know, Eds,” you assure with a contented sigh. “I was just teasing.”
“Oh.”
“The slut and the freak… Who would’ve thought?” you wonder all dreamily, like it’s a fairytale as old as time itself. That’s what it feels like, sometimes.
Eddie isn’t sure what you mean — who would’ve thought you’d be friends? Two people caught in that in-between stage of platonic and romance that’s complete agony and total, total bliss? A couple of kids falling in love—
“It’s sort of kismet, huh?” he answers.
“I think so.”
“So, uh… What are you up to?” Eddie wonders then, equal parts curious and eager to keep the discussion going. He’s frightened any lapse in conversation is going to lead to saying goodbye. 
He wants to stay on for hours, until both of you are fighting to stay awake, and then listen to the sound of your heavy breathing when you inevitably lose — like that isn’t the creepiest thing anyone’s ever wanted. He’ll fight Wayne about the bill if it comes to that, he doesn’t care, he just never wants to stop being this close to you.
“Do you want the real answer or the fake one?”
“Uh… Both?”
“Well, I’d say I was doing something super productive with my night, you know, catching up on all the boring adult shit, but then I’d be lying. And I don’t wanna lie to you, Eds,” you tell him with a teasing lilt playing at the edge of your voice.
Eddie swallows thickly, fearing he’d somehow been caught in his own lie — or rather, his half-truth. He moves on quickly, though not exactly full of grace. “Right. Yeah. Totally.”
“Honest answer is, that the only productive thing I’ve done tonight is shower, and now I’m in bed watching Fast Times and eating all the chocolate in my house, because I can’t cook for shit and I have nothing else better to do with my night,” you admit to him, picking at the thread of your comforter.
“Oh, don’t tell me I missed the ‘Moving in Stereo’ bit,” he agonizes.
“Just.”
“Well, correct me if I’m wrong, sweetheart, but it sounds like you’re having loads of fun tonight.”
“I’m having a lot more fun now,” you assure him.
“Glad I can be around to make you laugh,” he retorts like he’s not all too happy to do it.
“You’re a total comedian, Eddie Spaghetti.”
“If I’m the jester, you’re the queen, sweetheart,” he promises, a grin evident in his voice.
Your breath catches in your throat something fierce; you’re almost worried that he’s heard it. His words pierce your heart, a stroke of lightning or a blade of steel. He’s joking, but it’s so strangely profound, the kindest thing anyone’s ever said to you and it’s dripping in sarcasm. 
It’s sort of Eddie’s love language, you’ve come to understand, to say something so sweet but coated in venom to make it sour again. It makes you feel special, loved, almost.
A fire builds behind your rib cage, sharp and distant and all-consuming.
“Are you alone, Eds?” you ask him suddenly.
The sudden curve ball in the conversation takes him by surprise. “Uh, yeah, Wayne’s at work right now… Why?”
“Because I want you to talk to me…”
“Oh?” is all he can say because isn’t that what he’s been doing this whole time?
“And I want you to say things that… maybe other people shouldn’t hear,” you explain slowly to him.
“…Oh.”
He’s heard about this only once before, the whole phone sex thing. 
It was from Andy in the back of Ms. O’Donnell’s class a year or more ago, though Eddie never called him by that name. Andy, in all actuality, was Jason Carver’s right-hand man, and he meant that in every sense of the phrase. Eddie was more than convinced that the guy was so obsessed with the blonde haired, blue eyed douchebag that he was giving him handjobs on the regular.
But it seemed the dick brigade couldn’t function properly without their leader and Eddie had the misfortune of hearing all the mindless bullshit they were spewing behind him — basketball, parties, girls; in true white bread fashion.
His friends gathered around him like he was telling some sort of secret, though it was loud enough for anyone in a three foot radius to hear. Eddie, caught directly in the line of fire, heard all about Chrissy’s older sister, Wendy, who was two years older and off at college. 
He’d gotten her number from some party he’d crashed. At least that’s how he told it, right before telling everyone that she swore like a sailor when she came and that she told him all the dirty things she wanted to do to him while she did.
“It was like her hand was on my dick, dude, I’m serious. That shit was crazy, bro,” he’d laughed after retelling the whole conversation in excruciating detail.
Eddie rolled his eyes to himself then, inwardly jealous that he’d never get to meet Wendy — or any other girl that would be willing to have phone sex with him, for that matter. His phone only ever rang for telemarketers or a rogue Dustin Henderson calling to annoy him.
But, here you are now, the most wanted girl in Hawkins, offering it to him on a silver platter. He wonders if you’ve done this before, surely you have — oh god, he thinks to himself, what if you’ve done this with Andy?
“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” you assure him after his unusually long silence. “I know you’re probably busy and tired and everything—”
“No! No, yeah, I— I want to. I totally want to.”
“Okay,” you nod. Petals of a flower begin to bloom in your chest as you lie back in bed, settling further into the mattress. The movie, already long forgotten, serves only as light and background noise. “So… What are you wearing, Eds?”
“I feel like I should be asking you that,” he laughs. 
On the other side of Hawkins, in a trailer in the middle of nowhere, Eddie rises from where he’d originally flopped back onto his bed with the notion that it was going to be a semi-normal night. He props himself against his headboard. His fingers twitch at his thigh.
“Beat ya to it, Munson.”
“Well, I’ll have you know that it is very sexy, sweetheart. I’m wearing the same Hellfire shirt you saw me in, I don’t know, five hours ago — except now it’s got a rip in it because I totally ate ass on the way back to the van.”
He tells you this to make you laugh — it works — but he prays you don’t ask any questions. Because he got it while hurrying back to his van mere minutes after you’d left him, so hard he thought he was going to burst, with no more than seven minutes until his next client arrived.
 Thankfully, he only needed three.
“I love that shirt,” you respond in place of saying what you really want to — ‘I love how that shirt looks on you’ — how it clings to his lean torso and reveals his midriff whenever he stretches his arms over his head.
“She’s a lit-tle worse for wear now, sweetheart,” he lilts.
“I’ll stitch it up for you.”
“And I’ve got on a pair of boxers that are so old they’re practically see through because I’m pretty sure they used to be Wayne’s back in… I don’t know… the eighteen-hundreds.”
Eddie was right. It was sexy, though, for the exact reason they weren’t supposed to be. 
There was something so domestic about it all. You can picture him lying in his bed, in the most comfortable clothes he owns, in the one place he can feel at peace. Like a renaissance painting, something familiar and comforting and beautiful — fuck, you’d give anything to be next to him.
“…I think that means it’s your turn now, sweetheart,” he teases.
“Is it?” you mock in return.
“C’mon. Don’t leave me hangin’ over here.”
“It’s nothing, special,” you assure. Your eye flits down to peer at your own body — nothing special, indeed, you think to yourself. The lilac cotton set came from the grocery store downtown on the clearance rack you so often frequent. “I just have my underwear on. It’s very boring, I’m afraid.”
It’s not boring. Not to Eddie — the boy who prides himself on his insanely active imagination. He might not be able to pass english with his brain, but he can certainly create worlds with it, and it’s too easy for him to picture you. He imagines you, freshly showered, and smelling of the warm lavender-vanilla scent you always smell like, mostly bare and lazing upon a fluffy comforter.
He swallows thickly. “Oh, that’s— that’s really, uh— that’s really sexy.”
His thankful that you don’t seem to mind his poor excuse for dirty talk.
“It’s only because I was too lazy to get into actual pajamas.”
“I’m glad you didn’t.”
“Yeah?” you press, smiling to yourself and caging your bottom lip between your teeth.
“Yeah.”
“Can I tell you a secret, Eds?” you wonder, made brave enough by his own admission.
“‘Course you can.”
“Before you called…”
“…Uh-huh?” he eggs on, intrigued at the way you trailed off, sounding suddenly shy.
“I was…” The thought of telling him what you were doing mere seconds before he called makes you nervous. It wasn’t like you were ashamed of touching yourself or anything, nor is the art of dirty talking lost on you, but something about Eddie makes you timid.
“You were… what, sweetheart?” he wonders gently, with a too audible grin.
“I was touching myself.”
That’s all you tell him. The words linger and hang in the air of your separate bedrooms and you cling to the silence — almost mortified and anticipating his reply. Eddie, meanwhile, feels like his tongue has swelled in his mouth and all the air has been punched out of his lungs.
“Oh...” he tries to respond without the breath to accurately do so. “…Yeah?”
“You know what Phoebe Cates does to me,” you try to joke.
His laughter crackles through the receiver. “Yeah. I kinda have her to thank for the other night, don’t I?”
“Give yourself some credit, Eds. The hottest guy in Hawkins was sitting right next to me, what was I supposed to do?”
“No way you think I’m the hottest guy in town,” he scoffs. “Everyone knows you’ve got a thing for pretty boys.”
“Pretty boys?” you echo with a giggle.
“Uh-huh. The Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington type, you know?”
“Well, I think you’re a hundred times prettier than he is.”
“Really?” he scoffs cynically, obviously not believing you.
“He wasn’t the one I was thinking about with my hand shoved down my panties,” you admit, immediately quelling his self-doubt. “That’s gotta count for something, right?”
Eddie clears his throat and then stammers, “I— I guess so— yeah.”
“Are you hard, Eds?” you ask in a breathy whisper.
And he just nods to himself at first, too stupid to answer audibly. He can feel himself stiffening in his boxers, only halfway hard now, but getting firmer by the second. Soon, he’ll be aching. 
“Yeah…”
“Can you touch yourself for me?”
Eddie would rather take a bullet to the chest than say no to you — at least, he figures that’d probably hurt less — so he slips his fidgeting fingers through the band of his boxers and takes his warm, stiffening cock in his hand. He squeezes himself just enough to make his stomach tighten.
“Want you to touch yourself, too,” he admits, neither asking or demanding it, just telling you.
“Yeah?” you tease.
“Well, I think it’s only fair, sweetheart.”
You can’t help but notice how breathy he’s gotten — how it shakes on the inhale and hitches on the out. He’s got his hand shoved down his underwear and you’re jealous of the fingers that get to wrap themselves around his cock. You wish they were yours. Both of you will have to settle, it seems.
“Whatever you want, Eds,” you answer playfully. 
You obediently slide your hand back into the warmth of your panties. Your fingers slot between your lips and collect the slick that had gathered there since before you’d even answered the phone. You bring it up to your clit, circling the pads of your fingers there until you twitch, then dragging them down to press into your opening. They slip in with ease. 
Both of you have turned into lovesick idiots, separated by so many miles, and missing the other most ardently. Lying in the depths of your bedrooms, basking in a velvet loneliness, building with a mutual pleasure with nothing but yearning hands and longing sighs.
Eddie’s eyes flutter shut at the sounds of your low moans and fragile whimpers that crackle through the static — beautiful still, but certainly no match to the ones you were breathing in his ear just hours ago. 
His lashes dance across his cheeks as he tries to remember how you’d felt against his fingers, soft like velvet and delicate like silk, weeping and pulsating with need. 
He drags his hand from his boxers and lets the band snap against his pelvis. He spits into his palm and wets his cock with it, sighing as he tugs at himself without much friction.
“Are you wet, sweetheart?” he asks, though the words threaten to get stuck in his throat.
“Yeah,” you whisper back like it’s some kind of secret. 
You work yourself open with your middle finger and slip your pointer in next to it without much trouble. Your walls flutter around them while you fight to find the spot the makes you keen. You’re only able to tease it, fingers not quite long enough to caress it completely. Your thumb keeps working at your clit, though, to make up for the lost pleasure. 
“I’ve been wet since I left you,” you admit through labored breaths. “Haven’t been able to… to stop thinking about you, Eds.”
“Glad I’m not the only one whipped over here, sweetheart,” he manages a laugh.
“No one’s ever made me come that hard before. Not just with their fingers,” you tell him mindlessly, dumb on pleasure, as you feel yourself climbing that peak.
“Really?”
“Never,” you promise, then whine. “Doesn’t even feel as good now… Can’t get as deep as you can—”
Eddie hangs on your every word as he works his palm up and down his stiff cock, squeezing at the base and swiping his thumb over the head with an expert hand. His face scrunches as his stomach starts to tighten, he’s close to coming — too close for his liking. He doesn’t want this to be over so quickly.
“You’ve ruined every other guy for me, Eddie Munson,” you confess, more than pleased to hear how it makes him whine. It sounds like it comes from the depths of his chest, the way it crackles low and needy through the receiver.
“Good,” he grumbles through his pants after he’s gathered himself all over again. “Don’t want anyone else to have you, sweetheart.”
This time you’re the one letting out the most pathetic of whines. It makes a smile flicker at the corners of his lips.
“You like that?”
It sounds so dirty, but you can tell by the sincerity of his tone that it’s genuine. So you answer with a longing truthfulness, a delicate “yes”entwined with a yearning moan.
“You just wanna belong to me, don’t ya?” 
Now, this is dirty talk. The teasing lilt of his tone — it’s almost degrading —  and makes you clench around your fingers. “Yes, please,” you whine, all but pleading for him now.
Eddie’s close, so dreadfully close, with a pleasure so tangible he could taste it. Your words make his cock twitch in his hold as the fire builds in his belly. 
Through your whole-hearted promises and wanting moans, he can hear the sound of your slick through the receiver. The static reception doesn’t do it justice, but the wet click of your fingers working you open was unmistakable.
A moan grumbles in his throat as he digs the crown of his head back into his pillow. “Holy fuck— I can hear you, baby.”
“I’m so wet for you, Eds,” you tell him through fragile slurs, like it wasn’t inherently obvious. 
You were wrong before, about wanting to hide from him. You couldn’t conceal your need for Eddie if you tried. The honey you drip, all sweet and just for him, wouldn’t let you keep it a secret.
“I know, baby, I know,” he nearly coos. “Are you— fuck, please tell me you’re close?”
“Yes,” you promise in a whine. Your thumb presses harder into your clit. It makes your thighs tense until they’re shaking.
“You rubbing your clit for me, sweetheart?” he asks like he knows. “I know that’s what you like.”
You whimper, working at the spongy spot within you as your hips buck off the bed. “Yeah.”
“Keep rubbing yourself like that for me, okay? Want you to keep going until you come for me.”
If he keeps talking to you like that, it’ll come a lot quicker than he’s prepared for. 
It’s too soft to be much of a demand, but you listen obediently anyway, rubbing at yourself though your sensitivity keeps building. It grows like a morning tide, rising and flowing like white waves on an ocean, stirring something fierce in the depths of your stomach.
“Eddie,” you sigh out his name, broken through staggered pants.
You hear his stuttering breaths, too. “Y—Yeah?”
“I’m about to come,” you promise through a whine when the familiar crescendo sends a shock through your body.
“O… Okay,” he responds, pathetically, then whines, even more so.
“Want you to come with me… Please…”
“Fuck— okay. Shit, sweetheart, I’m almost there.”
“What are you thinking about?” you ask him.
“Your pussy,” he answers without thinking — he’s not doing a whole lot of that anymore. “Wish I’d gotten to taste you earlier. Wanna feel you… fuck… Wanna feel you come on my tongue.”
“Holy shit, Eds,” you moan at his words, at the vivid picture they paint in your head.
“And you get so… God, you get so fucking wet. Just want you to drench me, baby.”
It feels good, to be complimented for something boys used to make fun of you for, to realize for the first time that’s it’s sexy — that you’re sexy — and that Eddie is more than happy to drown in you. The feeling almost rivals the impending orgasm that’s bound to hit you like a tidal wave.
“I’m thinking about how I coulda took you on that bench… Just, fucking, get on my knees for you. Shove my head between your legs. Hold your— shit, baby— hold your thighs open, keep you exactly where I want you,” he rambles but then cuts himself off to moan at his own words. “Goddamn, sweetheart. Wanna taste you so fucking bad.”
The moan you let out is pitiful. It leaves your mouth in the most delicate cry. 
No picture has ever been clearer than the one of Eddie between your thighs, your hands knotted in his hair to move him to exactly where you need him most and forcing him there. You can feel his fingers digging into your hips, his rings pressed against your burning skin, and the way your legs tremble on either side of his head.
“Yeah. Keep— Keep doing that. Keep moaning for me,” Eddie tells you. “I’m about to… holy fuck, I’m about to come.”
“Wanna feel your tongue in me so bad, Eds,” you whimper, egged on by the moan he lets out. “Want your cock even more.”
That’s what does him in, the assurance — the promise — that you want him just as bad as he wants you. 
He tightens his fist around his cock, achingly hard and raging a crimson at the tip, trying to imitate the way you’d feel around him. It’s not all that close, not nearly as wet as the honey you’d be dripping for him, but his imagination does the rest of the work for him. 
All at once, you’re on top of him, riding him for all he’s worth, your pussy threatening to swallow him whole. You’ve drenched him, just like he’d begged for, and that wet schlick noise still echoing from the receiver is the evidence of each of your assured thrusts over top of him. 
You’re still pleading for him anyway — for more, for his tongue, for his cock — and he wants so desperately to give everything to you.
“Oh god, baby—” he sputters. He grips the phone in a white-knuckled, fist trembling. “Oh, fuck, I’m coming, baby.”
“Please, Eddie. Please come for me,” you plead over the low sounds of the forgotten film playing across the room and all the dirty wet sounds your pussy makes against your fingers. You sound like you need it, like you want his orgasm more than your own.
“Want you to come with me… Can you— Can you do that for me, sweetheart? Please?” It’s not dirty talk anymore. He’s actually fucking begging you and doesn’t feel the least bit ashamed to do so. 
He wants to hear all the pretty noises you make when you come — that initial cry that stems from the depths of your soul, the high-pitched whimpers that come when the sensitivity builds, and the whines that leave you when it ebbs.
He wants to hear it over and over and over again, like a worn cassette, and play it until the tape spins out.
“Yes…” you promise through a set of stuttering breaths.
There’s no talking when either of you come. Eddie’s long forgotten to talk you through it, but you would barely hear him if he had. The phone slips out of your hand when your grip slackens and it falls to the pillow beside your head.
You chase your orgasm full throttle, working through the crescendo and the strikes of lightning, focusing only on his muffled moaning and the pretty sounds he makes as he comes. 
The breath of your name whimpered through a tight throat is what does it for you. Your body has hardly any time to warn you before you’re gushing all over your fingers, twitching every time the pad of your thumb rubs over clit.
That cry, the one you always let out as you come — all wet and full of need — makes Eddie orgasm right alongside you. 
He swipes his thumb over his head again, collecting the pearls of precum gathering there and sliding them down the base to squeeze himself there like he’d been doing this whole time. He clutches harder this time, imagines it's your cunt locking him in a vice-like grip, and whines in his throat when he comes.
Several loads of it spill onto his cotton boxers, most of it gathering along the side of his hand and dripping down his knuckles. His breath staggers as he works himself through his high, praising you through the phone like you’re the one who brought him to it. 
“Fuck, baby… You’re so good… So fucking good.”
You’ve long settled from your own orgasm, still tingly and numb in some places, but not as gone as you had been just moments before. You still float on a cloud, getting lost as you stare through your window at the half-hidden stars sprinkling the night sky and feeling as though you could reach out and touch them.
You can feel the satin moonlight bathing you, and the jittery static of the neon of the television screen. You can feel everything and somehow nothing at all. 
“I don’t know how you do it, Eds,” you confess, hardly thinking about the words spilling from your mouth when you lazily bring the phone to your ear again.
“Do what, sweetheart?”
“I don’t know… You always make me feel good. Even when you’re not here… Even when we’re not getting each other off.”
“I feel the same way,” he promises you, all mushy, even though he feels like a slob for wiping his hand off on his discarded jeans on his bed. “Just… wish you were here.”
“I wish I was there, too… Wish I could clean you up.”
Eddie’s eyes shut tight as his head tilts back to his pillow at the thought. “Fuck… You’re gonna make me hard again, sweetheart.”
You perk up suddenly as an idea sprouts like a flower in your head. A smile blooms on your lips, and you rise up onto your elbows, glowing with an unanticipated excitement. “How long would it take you to get ready?”
“…Get ready?” he echoes.
“Yeah,” is all you say.
“I mean, I— I don’t know. I figure if I put on some new underwear and a fresh pair of pants, I’ll be good as new... Why?”
“You wanna do something?” 
“Yeah. Sure. Anything,” he answers clumsily in place of saying, ‘Anything to not have to be without you.’
“I wanna go to Skull Rock.”
“Skull Rock?” he repeats. 
Legend has it, you and Steve made that place a local landmark. People have always said that Hopper caught the both of you one too many times up at Lover’s Lake and the Quarry, that you needed a more hidden place to fuck. So you’d stumbled around in the middle of the woods until you found a place the chief wouldn’t think to look for you.
You’d certainly found it. Then every other horny high schooler did too.
It’s the place you go to fuck, the most private place in all of Hawkins — hell, maybe even Indiana entirely for teenagers who can’t get the house to themselves. And as appealing as it sounds, to take you beneath a sky of twinkling stars, Eddie doesn’t want his first time with you to be on dirt or in the middle of the woods. That’s how all the horror movies start, don’t they?
So, needless to say, your answer takes him by surprise.
“Yeah! You can see all the stars really good from there. It’s too hard to see them so close to town.”
Eddie’s heart swells all at once at how sweet you are, like sugar poured directly onto his tongue. You’re not eager to be without him either, it seems, and that thought is as gratifying as it is thrilling. 
You’re an adventure he’s about to go on, without a map or a way out, a journey he’s happy to go into blind as long as you’re holding his hand the entire way through it.
It breaks his heart to hang up the phone. He practically begs you to do it for him, and it makes you laugh — a kind giggle entwined with a tease ‘you’re such a baby.’ It rings in his ears long after the receiver clicks.
Most of all, he hates all the stoplights that separate your place from his. He hadn’t known where you lived before now, not until you uttered it over the phone. He makes a mental note to figure out a quicker way, somewhere through the winding back roads that his old van can speed through to make the distance less daunting.
He pulls into your apartment complex, a quaint two-story thing on the quieter side of town, where the woods are plentiful and the street lamps far fewer. He turns his radio down out of respect for all your neighbors that he’s sure he’ll never meet and spies you through the neon orange porch lights. You shut and lock your door in quick succession, then scurry across the way to meet him.
Eddie leans over to unlock the passenger side door for you, already beaming, and finds you’re smiling too when you climb in next to him. The grin you shoot his way outshines the night sky and makes a bright yellow sun of the girl sitting in his passenger seat.
“Hi,” you’d greeted him, all shy like you didn’t just make him come all over his hand thirty minutes ago.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he volleys back like he always does, with that big ol’ smirk and teasing lilt as he cock his head to the side — using his playfulness to cover up the bashful mess you so easily reduce him too.
Neither of you had gotten particularly dressed up to see each other. All he did was put on fresh under and pajama pants. You succumbed to a smilier laziness it seems, haphazardly brushing through your half-damp hair, throwing on a too big t-shirt, and calling it a day. 
The cotton hangs low at your chest, stretched out and obviously well-loved. It falls well past your thigh, though you spend much of the drive anxiously tugging it down. 
It makes him wonder what you’re wearing beneath it. If you’ve tugged on a pair of shorts or if you’re in the bra and (undoubtedly wet) underwear you’d told him you were wearing over the phone. 
Eddie winds himself up all over again while you sift through the flimsy case of endless cassettes he keeps tucked in the glove compartment that never quite shuts all the way.
“How do you now have any ABBA tapes?” you wonder like it’s baffling, with an Iron Maiden tape in one hand and Cinderella in the other. Metallica plays lowly, nearly inaudibly, from the stereo.
Eddie laughs and darts his eyes from the darkened back roads to look at you, all smiley and bathed in moonlight, before turning back to the road again. “Uh, because I’m not a thirty-year-old woman. That’s the shit moms listen to.”
“Moms and hot girls,” you retort jokingly.
“Right, moms and hot girls listen to ABBA — of which, I am neither, sweetheart. Sorry to be the one to break it to you… Besides, it’s not like you walk around listening to, fucking, I don’t know— Van Halen or whatever.”
“Hey. I listen to Van Halen,” you shoot back.
He scoffs. “Yeah, right.”
“It’s got what it takes!” you sing suddenly, not quite catching the rhythm of the song, but smiling anyway as you reach for his forearm resting on the center console. “So tell me why can’t this be love!”
“Oh, my god— that’s literally their worst song,” Eddie chuckles through the widest grin you’ve ever seen from him. 
It makes you smile big too, looking like an idiot who’s totally head over heels for the boy next to her. And of that, you’re happily guilty of.
“Not true,” you shake your head defiantly. “I love that song.”
“So that means it has to be good, right?” he retorts playfully, shooting you a teasing look, though his beam is more than sincere.
“Obviously,” you answer with a scoff that makes Eddie roll his eyes.
He knows he’s going to start to love it, though, if only because it’s the only Van Halen song you halfway know.
He’s going to hear that song on the radio and he’s going to want to turn it, but he’s going to remember this moment now — the one with you reaching for him while you sing the lyrics to a song he can’t stand, sitting pretty in his passenger seat, while the moonlight blanches your smile and the bare skin of your thighs.
Eddie Munson is going to love that goddamn song for the rest of his life.
He parks as close as he can to Skull Rock, knowing his van can’t work its way that far into the woods. The two of you are forced to walk the rest of the way, not exactly minding it, though Eddie’s incessantly worried you’re going to get cold. 
He’s already forced his jacket upon you, which you took with little fight. It warmed you almost immediately — with his cozy heat and musky cologne.
You make mindless conversation the entire way there, about music and then about his band and then what animal you’d want to be in your band if that were the least bit possible. Eddie chooses a sheep without any hesitation, though you’re confident that a penguin would be far cooler. 
You keep a careful distance between you, at first, like both of you are too scared to initiate the first move. That is, until you trip over a raised branch and nearly eat ass on the forest floor. Then Eddie’s holding your hand the entire way, keeping you close.
“If you wanted me to hold your hand, you coulda just said so, you know?” he jokes. “Didn’t have to go through all the dramatics, sweetheart.”
You try and yank your hand out of his grip in protest then, but he doesn’t let you. In fact, he pulls you closer and twirls you into a bear hug that you happily relax into.
He feels your sigh fan against his collarbone as you rest your head at the nape of his neck, his arms wrap around your shoulders as yours settle at his waist. He rocks you back in forth, in a moment that’s too almost sweet to make fun of.
Eddie finds a way, of course, “See?” he singsongs. “I’ll hug you like this all the time, if you want. You don’t have to almost kill yourself to get my attention, babe.”
“All I did was trip,” you laugh at his theatrics.
“Death by tree root… What a gnarly way to go.”
He holds your hand the entire way to Skull Rock. 
He doesn’t let you go once, not until you’re ascending the large boulders to plant yourselves at the very peak of them. He’s grabbing you again once you settle, though, and the two of you just sit there, for several long moments, just gaping at the stars that dance with life above you. They sprinkle an infinite void with enough light that manages to touch you, trillions of miles away.
There’s a subtle beauty in that Eddie never would’ve appreciated before now.
“Shit, babe,” he breathes through a whimsical existential dread. “You were right. The stars are really fucking pretty out here.” 
You love how much he loves this, to come to Skull Rock with you and count the stars. Any other guy would’ve had their tongue down your throat by now, stuffing your hand down their unbuttoned jeans.
But not Eddie.
He just holds your hand because he likes the feeling of his fingers entwined with yours, grasping tightly onto you while he gazes at an infinite universe — like you might float off right along with it.
His neck is stretched to gape at the night sky. You catch his adam’s apple bobbing every time he swallows. You want so desperately to kiss his milky white skin and sprinkle blotchy red bruises there.
His curly locks fall over his shoulders. He shakes his head to get his bangs out of his eyes while the chocolate buttons of them dart around the endless void.
He’s more beautiful than every star in the sky combined. You can’t be sure of how many that is, of course, but it’s a whole bunch if you had to guess. It makes sense, though, for the prettiest boy in the whole damn galaxy.
“Told ya,” you answer with a smile, leaning over to nudge his shoulder with yours. “You come out here often?”
You’re asking if he takes girls here and he knows it, but it’s not like you’re being inconspicuous about the whole thing. Eddie gauges it almost immediately, the subtle jealousy hinting at your tone — something no one else would’ve caught — and he squeezes your hand in reassurance.
He shakes his head. “No… Never.”
“Never?” you press with raised brows, like his answer shocks you.
“Ever. It’s not really my scene, I guess… But what about you, sweetheart? Never seen you around these parts before.”
You knock his shoulder again, harder this time.  “Shut up. You already know the answer to that.”
“Yeah…” he nods to himself, eyes darting back and forth as he reminisces on something. “You and Harrington, you and Hargrove. Hell, I think I heard about you and Jason one time—”
“That was a long time ago,” you argue. “Before I even knew you, okay?”
“I’m just saying,” he shrugs in defense. “You totally have a thing for pretty boys, sweetheart.”
“I never said I didn’t, Eds. Just that you were pretty, too.”
“Whatever,” he scoffs and rolls his eyes like he isn’t glowing red beneath the moonlight.
“You’re better than all three of them, Eds,” you confess with a sudden softness that catches his attention almost immediately. He turns his attention from the sky to look at you properly again. His breath catches at you sad you look — all beautiful and coated in shades of blue.
“…Yeah?”
You nod and drag his hand into your lap to fidget with his fingers. You trace the skeleton heart on his middle finger, subverting all your attention there because it’s easier than having to look at him now. “Better than all of them combined— not even just them, you know? Out of everyone. No one’s ever been this nice to be before.”
“Me neither, sweetheart,” he confesses with a morose grin. “The freak of Hawkins High attracts a lot of assholes, believe it or not.”
“Is it bad?” you wonder cautiously, like you’re scared to hear the answer. In some ways, you are. 
You hadn’t known him in high school, not really. For obvious reasons, you ran in very different circles. You never even had classes together. There was never any excuse to be close to each other before now, never a reason to become friends. So you didn’t.
You grew to know him as a freak, and he knew you as the town slut. Then somewhere down the line, he became your dealer and now… here you were. 
But you’ve graduated now and he’s still army crawling towards a diploma. You couldn’t save him from the hell of Hawkins High even if you wanted to.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” he shrugs. “Jason and the dick brigade just wanna make my life hell, that’s all.”
“I hope they aren’t,” you respond shyly.
Eddie scoffs then shoots you a smile. “Oh, of course not. Look at me. I’m at Skull Rock with the most wanted girl in Hawkins. I’m living the dream, sweetheart.”
“So you don’t care?” you wonder, peering at him through your lashes, as you twist the silver cross around his finger.
“Care about what?” 
“That I’m a slut,” you laugh like it’s obvious.
Eddie doesn’t think it’s all that funny. “Don’t say that.”
“It’s not like it isn’t true, Eds,” you retort with a trembling smile. “I mean, that’s literally what people call me — most people don’t even care to call me by my real name anymore.”
“I don’t care,” Eddie shakes his head. “I don’t care about that. I don’t give a shit about what people say about you. If everyone cared about what everyone said about everyone, neither of us would be here right now… Because you’d think I was some devil-worshipping freak and I’d think you were too busy getting it on with Chief Hopper.”
You screw your face up immediately at the thought. The mere idea was repulsive. The asshole was practically your father these days. Jim Hopper was in that small bunch of available people you would never fuck, and happily so. 
“I’d never stoop that low,” you joke.
“I like you, how you are, right now,” Eddie promises. “Don’t want you to change a damn thing.” 
His brown eyes twinkle with a sincerity that rivals the stars above you. All of a sudden, you don’t care about a bunch of heavenly bodies light years away from you — you care about this man, the one sitting beside you now, holding your hand even though your palms have gone all sweaty.
It’s too good to be true — the way you looks at you, the way he talks to you, the way he treats you. You’re scared that it’s a dream, that you’ll wake up and find that none of this was ever real. Or worse, that he was, and that he just didn’t care about you the way you cared about him.
It’s almost irrational. Almost. 
But it’s happened before. 
And it’s left you a scarred and mangled mess.
You shake your head to yourself and scrunch your face as you turn to look him. “Have you ever done this before, Eddie?”
“Don’t what?” he wonders with furrowed brows.
“I don’t know…” you shrug. “Any of this? With anyone else?”
He’s grateful he doesn’t have to lie. Or tell some clumsy half-truth for the sake of saving his own skin. He realizes tonight is perhaps the most honest he’s ever been with you, baring his pale soul beneath a silver moonlight. 
“Never,” he answers, unwavering, with a firm shake of his head.
“Really?”
“Really,” he nods, then swallows thickly at a gut-wrenching realization. “I’ve never felt his way about anyone else before.’
“Me neither,” you promise. 
It’s a tad more meaningful coming from you than from a boy who’s never had someone to love and to love him back.
You’re experienced, you’ve found what you like and what you don’t like. You’ve been with guys who have given you the world and guys that have ended yours altogether. And out of all of them — all of the assholes in Hawkins you could’ve picked — you’ve chosen the freak. 
You want him. 
You want Eddie.
The revelation makes him grin. “Promise?”
“Cross my heart, Eddie Spaghetti.”
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bas-writes · 7 months
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Promised Lullaby
a/n: 1.5h of sleep, sheer awe of battle mode Gojo design, trauma after chapter 236 leaks... it couldn't end only one way - and for once it's not smut 😂 canon timeline is nothing but a bad dream and Gojo himself is here to reassure us everything is going to be alright!
Character: Gojo Satoru Reader: gender neutral (no gendered pronouns, ambiguous body descriptions) Word Count: ~700 CW: manga spoilers past chapter 223, canon divergence, angst, hurt/comfort, nightmares, Gojo has tons of unprocessed guilt, I lost count which arm in the end he lost, sorry!
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"Are you crying?"
No darkness can deceive Gojo's eyes. But even blind and powerless he would recognize the desperate clutch of your fingers, clenched on his shirt so hard he feels your nails scratching at his skin. Tangled in sheets, you're nuzzling to his side like a little bird, curled, pressed into the tight space between his chest and stump. 
"Hey, Y/N, are you awake?" Gently, he nudges your shoulder, looks for your eyes amidst the night but he doesn't find a satisfying answer. Groaning at stiffened muscles, he reaches over you, for the switch-key of the bed stand lamp. He almost fails and falls on top of you—his disability is fresh, he's still not used to different balance and the lack of arm by the right side. 
"Y/N?" He tries again, voice soft and full of concern. With some squirming, he manages to roll on side without pushing you away; he scoops you closer, fingers soothingly tracing at your scalp and the back of your head. As always, his heart melts at the soft sensation of the size difference between you two; you're an adult but in comparison to his huge hands—hand you sometimes seem fragile like a child.
It does feel like cuddling a child at that moment, with your dry sobs cutting through grave silence, and trembling of your curled shoulders. And like with children, Gojo is patient with you, untying the knots of your nightmares one after one, until your breath eases and tension melts into oblivion. You're pressed so close to him he feels your eyes opening, your lashes tickling his neck when you blink the sandy numbness away.
"I'm here." He reassures you and kisses the top of your head. "I got you."
With a loud gasp you jerk in his embrace, both hands reaching for his face, frantically tracing scattered scars, tangling into soft locks falling far past his eyebrows. Shock fades into relief, relief into ecstatic happiness, tears pooling in your eyes, and soon falling all over your cheeks, all over his t-shirt and scarred chest underneath. 
The sight breaks his heart into a thousand little pieces.
"You're—" Another sob cuts through your words, turning them into unintelligible wailing, soon muffled by his chest. He welcomes you with a low, sensuous hum, big, warm hand at the back of your neck, thumb drawing aimless lines and circles down your spine. 
Gojo doesn't need your words. He knows, he always knew even without choked-out extracts of your nightmares you sometimes shared. You've been like this since you reunited; he can only imagine what you went through when he's been gone—and with each tear he feels falling on his chest, he just hates himself and his weakness more.
He swore to protect you, to protect everyone, and even if in the end he came out on top, he hasn't been with you for too long. Way too long.
"Yes, I am here. I'm real." Gojo promises and peppers your head with more kisses, his voice calm and warm in reverse to the state of his soul. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."
Liar, liar, liar a hundred times—and the most honest he's ever been in his life. It will not repeat, Gojo is sure of that, and repeats his promise with each slow and gentle stroke against your back. The mistakes won't be repeated, brecks in the plans won't be overlooked. As you are safe in his embrace now, you will be wherever you go, with him by your side, physically or not. 
Your sobs eventually fade, fatigue wins over anxiety and torturous remains of nightmares. Gojo listens to your breathing easing, doesn't cease with soft touch and reassuring praises until go limp against him, swallowed by peaceful, or at least blank, dreams now. Not until then he dares to roll on back, pulling you with him, and covering the both of you with a blanket. Whispering his name, you rub your nose against his collarbone, your hand blindly looking for his.
He squeezes it, reassuring. It's so small, so fragile against his palm… Oh, if his soul wasn't already shattered, it would crumble this very moment. How could he let go of that beloved hand? How could he make you think he was gone?
To your last breath, at any cost, he won't leave you alone like this ever again.
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itsabouttimex2 · 10 days
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Plot twist: the moment d!reader is set free from both of the circles at the end of the journey, they dissapear into the night, never to be seen again...or not.
I'm sorry i just, as much as i love yanderes, i want to see them suffer. At least a bit.
Ps. You're an amazing writer and i really enjoy your fics. Also, you really helped in getting my friend into yandere, so thank you for that🙂
Taken Aboard:
Running Away
(I’m super glad that you enjoy my fics! And I’m glad your friends enjoys them, too! Yandere is a really fun trope to play with!)
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So, in the case that you do pull a runner at the end of this long and arduous journey, Y/N… your biggest enemy is now yourself.
Because, as hard as you might have tried to fight it, you have been civilized. You have grown accustomed to society. You have started to care. This journey has changed and bettered you, as it has all your companions.
You are no longer a mere demon tending to monsters great and mighty, no more a child planting seeds and spreading spores.
You can’t ever go back to being the wild little creature you once were.
If you’ve ever read Gilgamesh, I’d say Enkidu is a good comparison for your development. After he’s been ‘civilized’ by Shamhat, Enkidu can no longer return to the home he knows and loves, the animals who once accepted him now fleeing on sight.
Now, if you leave before the journey’s end…
You run, devastated and distraught that so much of yourself is gone and lost, never to be reclaimed. The forest may not be the home you know, but some part of it is still familiar.
You purge the hunters and loggers who have taken up residence within the Emerald Grove, violently spilling their nourishing blood across the hungry soil, pitch their flesh into the mouths of ravenous beasts.
It doesn’t make you feel better- you know that at least some of these men and women were trying to feed themselves, their children.
But at least the forest is newly quiet, contented by a fresh meal, leaving you in peace to mourn.
As for hoping to ‘never being seen again’…
Sun Wukong’s Golden Vision has a little something to say about that.
Within hours he’s stalking back to the Emerald Grove in a huff, hauling his way up the tallest tree he can find and unhappily making his way over to you.
The Great Sage snatches you off the bark and tosses you over his shoulder, clambering down the tree as you kick and scream. You demand to be released and removed from the group, biting and pounding your fists agains his invulnerable back.
“Being naughty today, bud? Here I was, thinking you had finally gotten past this ‘running back home’ phase.”
“I am not a baby,” you scream, digging your teeth into the base of his spine with all your demonic might. “PUT ME DOWN!”
You manage to draw just a few drops of blood, not that it phases the simian. He doesn’t even seem to notice.
“You’re making things harder for all of us, you know that? And you keep setting us back with all the running away nonsense. But I had Master call a certain someone up to maybe settle this for us all, bud.”
Against your angry protests and endless assault does the Great Sage drag you back to camp, switching to hold you in his arms instead of over his back.
Immediately do your screams of anger turn to pained wails, the sound of a holy sutra hitting your eyes. The blessed bands around your wrists tighten, scraping the skin they compress to rawness.
And before you stands not only the holy monk who tricked you into wearing these golden hoops, but the goddess who gave them to him.
“Sun Wukong, please place the child down,” she lightly instructs, her tone even and polite. “Might I speak to them for a moment?”
The Handsome Monkey King obeys, nudging your towards the goddess after he releases his grip on you.
Guanyin comes to you slowly, kneeling to take your face into her soft and gentle hands.
And you bite her.
“You- you call yourself a goddess,” you scream, fangs wet with her divine ichor. “Of mercy and compassion! But all you do is hand out tools of torture and punishment! I wanted to stay in my forest! I wanted to stay with my friends! A hard shove, nearly knocking her over. “And you helped Sanzang take me away! You gave him these awful bands and he pretended they were gifts to get me to put them on! But they weren’t! And you let him! And now he uses them to hurt me! I hate you! I hate him! I hate all of you!”
Finally you collapse, sobbing openly into your hands.
Tang Sanzang watches in horror as heavenly blood feeds the ground, causing new and gorgeous growth to break from the soil, flowers blooming in massive clusters.
Wukong seethes that you could be so disrespectful to the one and only god he actually cares for, the only one he finds to be tolerable and kind.
Everyone else just recoils in both fear and hurt, your last words ringing painfully in the ears.
But Guanyin approaches once more, kneeling to level herself with you. There is no retribution or anger in her touch, placing a light kiss onto your forehead.
“You’re right, aren’t you? This journey has not been easy, nor has it been kind- and for you especially, perhaps it has been cruel. And I too, have been unkind to dabble in your affairs. Will you allow me to ease the burdens of your travel?”
From a silk pouch does she procure a mirror, pushing it into your shaking hands.
“My child, I give to you this heavenly mirror, which has been forged from blessed steel and holy sand melted to glass by dragonfire. To look upon it will show you your beloved forest, and all those you have left behind.”
———————————————————————-
Now, this is super important- Y/N’s involvement in the journey is incredibly unfair. The others come because they seek personal growth or redemption, but Y/N?
They had to come. They were tricked into thinking those golden tightening bands were gifts and eagerly asked Sanzang to help put them on, jumping up and down in excitement at receiving something so pretty. The only reason they agreed to wear these ‘generously’ gifted bands was because they thought it was an honest gift.
So there’s already a sense of betrayal about the whole thing, that their first gift from anyone was actually just a trap to pull them along on a lengthy and dangerous journey.
Then, where the others were either entirely willing (Sanzang) or had to redeem themselves for crimes or mistakes (Wukong), Y/N was forced to come along with their worst crimes being: fighting off invaders and killing poachers. And all for that, they are ripped from home and forced to leave behind everything they’ve ever known and loved.
And Guanyin does three things here:
1. Acknowledges your anger/sorrow.
2. Validates your feelings without hesitation.
3. Actively works to soothe them.
With the mirror in hand, you can look upon the Emerald Grove and see your old animal friends, know that they’re safe even without you, and put your fears to rest.
It’s not perfect.
But it’s a good start to get you to actually care about these pilgrims, given that you don’t spend every night in flurry of nightmares, thinking fitfully of your beloved forest.
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Please?
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pairing: no-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader (Elementary-verse)
rating: F (literally just reader and sarah teaming up against this grump, joel builds a birdhouse for career day)
wc: 800
series masterlist
Today was Career Day at school, each class welcoming a few selected parents to come in and give a demonstration for the kids. Sarah had eagerly suggested over dinner that Joel volunteer, something that made you smile just from imagining it.
“What am I supposed to do? Show up with a drill?” Joel chided in between ungraceful bites of his steak.
“You could build a birdhouse or something,” she suggested with a shrug.
“That’s actually a really good idea, Sarah,” you chimed, your foot nudging Joel’s under the table to draw his eyes to yours.
“No,” he shook his head. You poked your bottom lip out dramatically and rounded your eyes as they batted at him.
“Please?”
“Yeah, dad,” Sarah joined in, making your puppy dog eyes look pathetic in comparison to her round, hazel brown stare. “Please?”
“Ain’t fair when y’all gang up on me,” he muttered at his plate before sighing and meeting your eyes again. “Fine. One birdhouse.”
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You’d expected Joel to run late, his time management skills only slightly improving since you entered his life a couple months ago, but even you were starting to grow impatient as you watched the clock tick away.
“Miss, what are we waiting for?” Monique, one of your students, groaned.
“Let me go see,” you said, standing from your desk and walking over to the door to poke your head out. Thankfully, you spotted Joel jogging his way across the courtyard from the school office, his tool belt tucked under his left arm.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he muttered to you as he met you outside the class, leaning in to press an apologetic kiss to your cheek.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” you playfully rolled your eyes and opened the door to your class, gesturing him in.
Joel’s hand flexed and tapped nervously on his hip as he walked in, his eyes searching the room of students until he landed on his daughter, Sarah’s smile bright as she waved at him from her seat.
“Alright everyone, I want you all to welcome Sarah’s dad, Mr. Miller,” you said, turning to Joel as the two of you stood in front of the class.
“Hi, Mr. Miller,” the class droned in unison, clearly ready for the school day to be over.
“Hey,” he mumbled nervously, his eyes dropping to the table in front of him, the spread of pre-measured pieces of lumber acting as an anchor in the midst of all this anxiety.
“What do you do for a living?” you asked, sensing his nerves.
“Right, uh, I’m a contractor,” he said, more confident this time.
“What does that mean?” a student asked.
“It, uh, it means I build stuff, work on houses, that type’a thing,” Joel replied. “So today I’m gonna show you how to build a birdhouse.”
“Ooo! Can I help?” Breanna, one of your more eager students, raised her hand and squealed.
“Uh,” Joel turned to look at you for permission, earning a shake of your head.
“Sounds like an accident waiting to happen,” you said, earning a collective groan from your students. “Sorry, guys.”
“How ‘bout you come up here and show me what tool you think I’m gonna use to put everything together,” Joel suggested, making both you and Breanna smile.
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Joel’s lesson was quick but a hit with the kids, especially after he led all of them outside to go hang the birdhouse outside.
Joel stayed around after his lesson, sitting at your desk patiently as you ran through your end of class routine until all the students had packed up and filed out of the room except for Sarah.
“You got parking lot duty?” Joel asked as you came over to the desk to start packing your own things up.
“Nope, I’m all done for the week,” you smiled. “You two doing anything tonight?”
“No,” Sarah spoke for the two of them.
“Wanna go see a movie?” you asked, watching as Sarah instantly lit up at the idea.
“Uh, yeah! Can we see Bring It On?” she said, turning to Joel and using those same round eyes that got him here in the first place. “Please?”
“Yeah, Joel,” you grinned, watching him roll his eyes at the two of you. “Please?”
“Is this gonna be a thing? Y’all teamin’ up?” he asked, resting his hands on his hips.
“It’s alright,I could just go over to Jesse’s instead,” Sarah said, feigning indifference.
“Yeah, and it’s been a while since I’ve had a night to myself,” you joined in, earning a hearty chuckle from Joel.
“Too good at this,” he shook his head. “Come on, let’s go watch a cheerleading movie, I guess.”
“You’re gonna love it,” Sarah promised, hugging her dads arm as they led you out of the class. “And if you don’t, just pretend you do.”
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sukimas · 6 months
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On ZUNArt and Tits
The thing with cup sizes is that they increase as band size decreases. So, for example, a 30DD is equivalent to a 36B. This is because cup size comes from a comparison of bust size and band size. Let's take Sanae:
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She doesn't look like she's got a lot of boob going on. Which is true, in terms of pure volume. But let's look at some images (which Tumblr will hopefully let me upload without marking this post as mature:)
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ZUN draws his characters as extremely skinny, to the point where you're getting into the 26-28 band sizes. This picture is a good starting point for what "really big breasts" look like at such small band sizes.
That is to say- Sanae doesn't just have "some boob" going on, she has quite a lot! Probably around G cups, for her band size. If you draw your Touhous less skinny than ZUN does, even Reimu should be coming out with some.
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This combines, of course, with the fact that Touhou characters generally don't wear clothes that stretch much; fitted clothes naturally are going to minimize the appearance of Tits. In general, even with early Windows characters (AKA: Before ZUN learned to draw curves) you can make decent assumptions by comparing chest and waist sizes.
I am very sorry that women from other anime and video games have betrayed you, but Touhou characters generally are not flat chested, or even small-busted particularly often. (By the way: even for large breasts, a bra will increase the visual effect, not decrease it. With my insincere apologies to Memories of Phantasm.) They just wear clothes that act like clothes and are skinny in ZUN's portrayals of them. (Many other anime women are equally skinny and therefore have cup sizes that cannot functionally exist on their bodies because the fat would be physically redistributed to other places first.)
There's no real conclusion to this post. Have a look at Urumi's H-cups.
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jayteacups · 1 year
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Ignorance Is Bliss
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Out of the entire cast of Attack on Titan, the member that spends the least time online is probably Levi. And after seeing the responses to the latest collaboration promotional photoshoot, he wants to keep it that way.
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Pairing: Levi Ackerman x GN!Reader
Tags and warnings: Actor AU, established relationship, fluff, (my sorry attempt at) humour, some other characters are mentioned, a few suggestive things are briefly brought up in the form of internet slang, mild spoiler about Levi's state in S4
Word count: 1.1k
A/N: First piece of writing in almost three months 😭 my writing is rough I apologise in advance. Anyway this is very much inspired by the AOT x Gutedama collab illustrations. Might the use of internet slang become very dated in a few years? Probably. Did that stop me from writing this? No. Enjoy this incredibly dumb piece of writing XD
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“Why the fuck are they calling me ‘breedable’?” Levi grumbles under his breath, causing you to choke back a laugh. 
Setting your book aside, you shuffle closer to your boyfriend on the sofa. “What did you just say?” You ask, incredulous. You’re not entirely sure you heard him correctly—it isn’t a sentence you imagined leaving his mouth, ever. 
“I said,” Levi repeats, waving his phone in his hand, “these random perverts on the internet are calling me ‘submissive and breedable’.” With his other hand, he creates air quotation marks. A deep blush washes across his cheeks and ears. “They’re all saying I did a slutty pose, too. How is that slutty? How?” 
They’re not wrong, is the sentence that lingers on the tip of your tongue. Instead, you reach out, your lips twitching. “Let me see.” 
He sighs and relents, pressing his phone into your hand. He’s been browsing Twitter. Or, more specifically, scrolling through the replies underneath a promotional photoshoot he and his cast members had a few weeks ago: some kind of collaboration with Gutedama, the Sanrio character. You’ve seen the photo before—the actors involved were able to get a sneak peek of the photos a week before they were to be posted, and Levi had shown you his. You’d thought it was hilarious, the way Eren, Mikasa, Armin and Hange all had ordinary, somewhat conservative poses, as opposed to Levi. 
“I’m not surprised they’re reacting this way,” you muse, zooming in on Levi’s photo. “You do happen to be the only one on your back, with your legs spread and knees up, giving the camera a very clear view of your crotch. You also happen to be the only one with the ODM straps on, so that does draw attention to your thighs—which look great, by the way…” 
Levi crosses his arms. “Don’t tell me you agree with those degenerates.” 
Saying nothing, you pointedly continue to scroll through the replies and quotes. ‘He’s so babygirl,’ reads one. ‘I am going to breed this man,’ reads another. Both of those are very tame in comparison to what you have seen before, but as you dive in further, the comments become more and more debauched, most obviously being exaggerated jokes. It’s become the norm. You’re not threatened in the slightest, not at all—in fact, you’re amused. You simply tilt your head and say, “hm.” 
Levi throws his hands in the air in exasperation. “Not you too.”
You look up at him through your lashes. “Listen,” you begin, “I’ve been thinking this since day one, but for your sake I didn’t say anything—”
“I am never doing these photoshoots ever again,” he grouses, rubbing his temples. “It’s not… it wasn't even my idea, the photographer asked me to pose like that.” 
“Oh, trust me, they got you to pose like that for a reason.” You pass Levi’s phone back to him, patting his shoulder gently. 
He scoffs. 
“Maybe you should avoid Twitter for a bit, sweetheart, because this isn’t going to end any time soon.” 
Sighing, Levi sets his phone down firmly. He resettles on the sofa next to you, his shoulder touching yours, warm body pressing up against your side.  “I still don’t get it,” he grumbles. A small wrinkle appears between his brows. 
“Get what?” Carefully, you lower your head and press a gentle kiss on the space between his eyebrows, right on the little furrow. He shuffles closer, now leaning his weight against you. 
“I get that they’re joking, but… some of the perversions they’re speaking of don’t even make any sense. For a moment, I thought about asking Connie, because the kid basically lives on Twitter—seriously, his screentime is concerning—but knowing him, he’s not going to tell me anything helpful. He laughed in my face last time.” 
“Wait, you asked him about this stuff before?” 
Levi’s gone redder than a tomato. “I asked him what a ‘little meow meow’ was when the promo photos of me in the bandages got posted.” 
You know perfectly well what a ‘little meow meow’ is, but elect not to say anything. 
He continues on with his rant, nose wrinkling in both disgust and confusion. “That was a clear lapse of judgement, I know. I’m not asking him or the other kids a thing about this shit ever again. Anyway. What’s with these Twitter users wanting to ‘breed’ me? That’s not even possible. And what does ‘babygirl’ even mean? Isn’t that—” His face sours even further, a realisation dawning upon him. “Fuck, no.” 
“What?” 
“Isn’t that what the creepy guy from 365 Days says to the main character? That’s… no. I hate it. I hate everything. Fuck this.” 
You tilt your head back and laugh. One of your hands comes up to cup the back of Levi’s head, pressing his face to your chest. “No, no, it’s not like that. It’s… it’s an internet saying. Don’t think too much about it, yeah?” 
“You know what? I take all my questions back. I really don’t want to know.” His words are muffled. The two of you are sinking further and further into the sofa, lying almost horizontally, with him on top of you. 
Giggling, you slip your fingers through his silky hair. “You know what they say. Ignorance is bliss.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.”
“So why were you looking through Twitter, then, hm? You usually stay off social media for weeks on end.” 
“Why’d you think? The rest of the cast wouldn’t shut up about it in the group chat, saying I had to see what the responses to the photoshoot were…”
“By the rest of the cast,” your lips twitch with barely restrained laughter, “you mean Hange and Zeke, don’t you?” Those two always love to tease Levi about his rabid fanbase. “I honestly would not be surprised if one of those replies was Zeke on his burner account, having a laugh. You know how much he enjoys winding you up.” 
“Fucking hell. I would not put it past him, now that you mention it. Thanks for putting that weird picture into my head.” He rolls his eyes, as you laugh. 
———
After enjoying his morning off, Levi gets a private text from Erwin whilst he’s on his way to set: What was all the ruckus about on the cast group chat? I don’t quite understand what was so funny.  
He sighs, tapping an answer back on his phone. 
Ignorance is bliss, Erwin. 
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Masterlist
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badchoicesworld · 9 months
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hiii^^ could i request romantic miles x male reader where reader is really shy and quiet (+ has social anxiety if you're okay with writing that)
and (as a result of being quiet) has headphones on 24/7 and draws a lot?
(maybe add a part where he's caught drawing miles! so cliche><)
miles morales w/ an artistic boyfriend riddled with anxieties
sorry to call anyone out in the title, had a giggle about it
im holding this specific anons hand for a minute if they’ll let me, they radiate energy that makes me joyous (hi anon !!!)
established relationship
warnings: none
pairing: miles morales x male!reader
requests: check status on the masterlist
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★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧
ABSOLUTELY RELATES TO YOU
he likes to think that he’s all suave and chill, but everyone knows he’s sheepish when met with certain situations
man can’t take a compliment, he can’t give a compliment, dates make him shake in his boots and having a boyfriend is something that’s entirely over romanticised in his head thanks to media, let’s be honest
social encounters weren’t a massive problem to him though, we’ve all seen how outgoing he is and friendly
plus, he grew up in a community where everyone knew everyone, wether you liked it or not
so he’s the “he asked for no pickles” half while you stand behind him shitting ur pants
he notices how shy you get while you’re out in public in comparison to in private, and he’s okay with that
doesn’t suddenly baby you though, just likes to check in on you every now and again until you’re back home
literally the most discreet “you good?” while stood in line or something
miles can absolutely understand coping with music, he’s the exact same way
you two share some interests, music and art ! it’s cute
he likes to suggest sharing some earphones either out in public or in private, it’s just one of those things that makes you two feel closer (he’s mad sheepish when suggesting it at first, but it eventually becomes one of those silent exchanges if ur cool with sharing) his version of romance
if he sees you with your headphones on, he won’t actively try to talk to you - from personal experience he can understand how stupidly frustrating it feels and wildly overstimulating
unless it’s something important, then he’ll try grab your attention by like tapping your shoulder or smthn,, a lil wave
makes bangin playlists for you, some to share and would be very happy if you did the same
he’s happy to do anything for his boyfriend to make him feel more comfortable in social situations.
you’re quiet, he doesn’t mind it as long as you have some kinda way to communicate with him - your needs and such
hold hands, your hands got stuck together once thanks to his spider-man-ness
if you didn’t know he was spider-man then, that’s how you found out
he’s a massive fan of drawing you and loves to see your own drawings
he’s a huge fan of you guys doing literally anything and catching you drawing with some bizarre medium without fail
caught you drawing him once- and then a lot more times
luckily, you were wearing headphones at that moment, so he got to have a lil victory emote without you noticing before acting like he never saw anything
does a very obvious, obnoxious greeting in the most cheesy way to clearly convey he never saw a thing
if by some unfortunate twist he is caught watching, man panics and is like “Hoh! I- didn’t see you there?? what’chu up to??” play it cool and smile it off miles “Wow that’s- that’s crazy how you.. caught me”
he’s been caught so many times in the past and he knows that internal feeling of dread
YOU BOTH KNOW YOU DRAW EACH OTHER UR NOT SLICK
but anxiety am i right
will not snatch your sketchbook or whatever you draw on suddenly UNLIKE SOMEONE
completely respects your privacy when it comes to your drawings, he can relate too much
that’s not to say that he isn’t curios, he sometimes likes to tease about peaking but never would without permission
if you’re both into graffiti then he’s takes you to insane spots to tag, especially once you find out he’s spiderman
likes to suggest collaborating on pieces all of the time
miles is great anatomy practice, with all his funky spider-man poses
i cant actually imagine he would hide being spider-man from you if you were dating beforehand, it’s a different conversation if it’s a new relationship
but hey, young love, am i right ?
★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧
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chaoticace2005 · 2 months
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You should like
Provide scenes for me to draw from the Anthony Hater Club fic
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Ajcjehdh 😂
Okay so I’ve talked to @blackbumblbee about a few ideas.
I’m really open to any people interested drawing whatever scenes catch your fancy, although I do have a few ideas in mind…
-Niffty sobbing over them ruining her OTP. Absolutely everyone is confused. (Ft. Egg Boiz using coloring books cause they’re silly)
-them having an Anthony hate club meeting with the giant fucking board, making it look like they’re trying to solve a murder. (Think like the Pepe Silvia meme if you want 😂)
-Charlie, Pentious and the Eggs doing their best to cover up the board from a very tired/confused (and in Angel’s case injured) Husk and Angel
-the intervention (some highlights): everyone looking serious (minus Alastor who’s having a great time), Pentious about to shit out an egg boi to everyone’s horror
-if you want something cute then the confession/kiss between Huskerdust
-everyone realizing Anthony is angel (except Pentious), (“ You’re the one Husk is cheating on Angel with?!”“What. No! Pentious! I am Angel!”“You said you were Anthony!”“I am!”“So don’t lie and sssay you’re…oh. I get what’sss going on here.”“Yeah, Angel I am so sorry, we thought–”“HUSK?! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ANGEL WITH HIS OWN TWIN BROTHER?!”“Pentious! You can clearly see it’s me!” “I see nothing but a homewrecker!”)
-Alastor fully decked out in Anthony Hate Club merch looking like he’s having a great time and wants to eat Angel. Angel about to shit himself. ( @blackbumblbee is currently working on this one rn, if more people wanna do that that’s okay! Just letting y’all know)
-there’s also potential for angstier ones with angel thinking he’s gonna be kicked out (side by side comparison to when he was a human and his family kicked him out?)
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alicenpai · 1 year
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all of my paindora hurts buttons for 2022! ⏳ in my store! 🐇 for these ph buttons, I decided on a unifying theme - if you’ve read the series, you know who the bunny plush represents. each character holds the plush differently, and in turns reflects how they would have treated that represented character. under the cut: more photos of ph merch below! + some spoilery concepts I had while designing these
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❗ ❗ ❗  SPOILER START  ❗ ❗ ❗ - oz: self-love. what makes his character interesting, compared to other generic shallow jovial anime protags (sorry LOL), is his exuberant exterior juxtaposed with the neglect he’s faced, causing his self sacrificial morals. “if everyone else is safe then it doesn’t matter if i am hurt”. this drawing represents the self-acceptance that he learned through the journey of the series. - alice: “this is my servant!” for me, alice’s childish notions about possession and servitude eventually grew into a sense of devotion and loyalty to her loved ones. (the entirety of volume 19... around Retrace LXXVI / 76. makes me cry so hard) - gil: gil treasures oz above all. gil is oz’s knight, like the comparison of the characters edwin (master) and edgar (valet) in the in-universe series “holy knight”. i also saw someone reblog this saying “gil is holding the oz bunny over his scar/heart” and i totally didn’t think of that at all but it works so well, thank you for that 😳👍 - elliot: kind of also oz’s knight. i can imagine here he would have said “get behind me!”. not anything important but i really like how the hand turned out in this one - leo: i planned the lighting so that he’s both in the light and in the shadow. tormented by both his duty and his morals
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