#i am also bad at tagging people sorry
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10 characters, 10 fandoms, 10 tags
Tagged by @owlpockets
HPS!Shen Wei / Guardian/ 镇魂 (drama)
Kunlun!Zhao Yunlan / Guardian/ 镇魂 (novel)
Jing Beiyuan / Qiye/ 七爷
Mei Changsu / Nirvana in Fire/ 瑯琊榜
Zhou Zishu / Word of Honor/ 山河令
Han Yunxi / Poison Genius Consort/ 天才小毒妃 (novel basis of Legend of Yunxi)
Loki (comics verse: Agent of Asgard 2014-2015)
kid Loki (Journey into Mystery 2011-2012)
Jane Foster (Valkyrie: Jane Foster (2019-)
Sypha Belnades (Castlevania)
Venom (Venom)
@theleakypen @iamwestiec @aiyexayen @dirty-corza
#god this was hard#I can think of the 3-4 fandoms I am currently in and then my mind goes blank#have I ever liked anything else in my entire life? brain: blank#anyway yes several of those are from shared universes#but they have separate fandom tags on ao3 so I think it counts#i am also bad at tagging people sorry
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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spock chart that came to me in a vision
#i am certain some people would disagree with me on classifying leonard as straight and/or bully as gay.#however it is for the joke and the joke ONLY#so feel free to switch them in your head or something. either works they’re both gay spocks#I think some people would also disagree with me calling aos straight. sorry for that. once again a simplification for the bit#not even gonna tag this tbh it’s a bad meme#except for one tag:#bullyparade#for my personal reference
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i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo
#ganondoodles talks#also probably sounds like self pity#but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist#i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think#but the internet never gets to see that much of me#i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere#so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing#i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out#i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with#i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong#im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh#it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again#sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with-#-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it#doesnt sound like a good excuse#... i want to thank those that do stick with me#even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise#there are little things that still make me angry at myself#like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing#and i got two#and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop#i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late#i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom#no matter how much i enjoy the ask#and i love getting asks!!!#im sorry :((
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EVEN MORE CUTE DOTTORE MOMENTS TO MAKE YOU SMILE 🙏 (because I am too tired to post anything of quality)
#smooches talks#ouhhhh... to experience the domestic life with him...#someone motivate me to start writing actual fics again...#the dottore honeymoon fic merely has the title “medicus scriptor amorem” and “Honeymoon fic” in the actual document LMFAO#i made it on... january 27 oops#idek if im gonna stick to that name because google translate for latin is so bad omfg#(TO THAT KIND PERSON WHO SENT ME IDEAS ILY AND I PROMISE I WILL RESPOND. I PROMISE IM NOT IGNORING U)#i also have another wip i havent touched with loving the harbingers when they weren't in the fatui yet#no like seriously i think churning out 50k words did something to my writing state 💀🙏#a snippet from dottores part: Il Dottore’s strength was nearly unmatched in the Fatui being the Second Fatui Harbinger and all.#what most people do not know is that he was… certainly not the best fighter during his Akademiya days.#A claymore was also out of the question - he grumbled when he had to lug his numerous research materials and parts to the desert…#In the end you settled on teaching Zandik the basics of a sword. do with this as you will...#however i am still so proud of myself for fabulam diu oblitus#i was rereading in class bc i was bored and i was like#damn i kinda ate with this#thanks for listening to smooches mini writing life crisis if u made it here#okay i go sleep now... i have midterms this week#OMFG THESE TAGS R SO LONG IM SO SORRY
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Talia and Baby Jay dynamic make my brain giggle.
#talia al ghul fanart#Talia Al Ghul art#talia al ghul#jason todd fanart#jason todd art#jason todd#ron’s art tag#shut in the fuck up ron#that’s his mom 2.0#he wants to be just like her#also before anyone gets pissy about the scarf#i am Muslim. she is not. she kILLS people. safe to say she doesn’t subscribe to the religion. she more than likely doesn’t wear a full hijab#or khimar#At best what she wears in GK is a shayla#but…she isn’t Muslim…and would probably look at you like you were stupid if you said she was#or Ra’s.#it’s sO fucked when I read fics where they are still assassins…and say “allahuakbar” or other Islamic phrases…because…it implies shit…😐#like coming fROM a Muslim…don’t do that shit. it’s weird and messy and just…gives the wrong vibes. if you didn’t know it’s chill just…don’t#them in Ramadan post’s because there aren’t enough Arab/Muslim characters is fine but…please don’t write them quoting scripture while…#actively fighting/killing people. it’s…yeah…no…bad vibes all around. super fucked for Sunnis and Shias. we don’t want that shit. I’m sorry.#the scarf is for sneek 100 use ONLY.#😭#but anyway he loves his mom. :))
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oh no I smoked too much weed and gave myself zoomies both from the excitement from my new peak pro and the excitement from the new weed itself and def smoked way more than I should have and probs will continue to smoke more than I should because of this double dose of excitement until I finally just pass out after days of hardly sleeping recently lmao
but ANYWAYS before that happens !!! I currently have the strongest urge to go wreck people in fucking battlegrounds to level one of my assorted disc priests and because like …. ever since I got 100k honorable kills achieve, I’ve wanted that goddamn fucking ‘the Bloodthirsty’ title from the 250k honorable kills achieve and I was farming that before I stopped having the drive to game a few months back.
so let’s see how queues go at 2am on a fucking Wednesday morning, I wonder if I’ll give up before I find a bracket with fast pvp queues tonight tbh. it’s more likely I’ll end up pugging a raid on my mistweaver main if it takes too long to get into a battleground just to preoccupy myself for a bit and try to get a chance at trinkets and shit lmao
#this is huge tho I haven’t WANTED to game enough to drag my laptop out and play in MONTHS#I logged in for the first time in ages the other day and I had so much fun in my battlegrounds I didn’t even realize we were winning#I was just having a fucking blast being a healer and a menace because I’m playing a disc priest rn of course lmao#and now I want to game again so bad but like mindlessly and bgs are mindless to me I guess???#like they’re so easy and all muscle memory and hardly take any thought so I think I could function enough to fuck some people up for a bit#or raiding Amirdrassil on LFR or normal. also pretty mindless even when pugging groups and all that.#everything’s usually one shot one kill or like 2 shots per kill max because people learn from their mistakes !!!#but like as a healer I know my shit so it’s just mindless (except for Larodar ((MY BELOVED)) because I LOVE that fight and get super into it#his dialogue is just too fuckin good and the voice??? truly chefs kiss like perfect voice casting#almost as fantastic as Sire Denathrius tbh and that’s like the big vocally satisfying one for me LMAO#this tag rant went on a wild roller coaster what the fuck I am so sorry for anyone who read these#I’m trying to read them back and I can’t even understand my fucking thought process LMFAO
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Me getting on grindr: yeah!
Me having to respond to messages: NO
#🍋.txt#nsft#mlm nsft#t4t nsft#i am a delicate princess and i must be treated like a rare species of flower -most masculine sentiment i have ntw#btw*#also why i'm bad with asks and messages here. i have chronic issues <3#i just feel lucky that nobody's been too weird about me being trans lmao#one guy even went 'oh i saw your t4t tag and im SO sorry bye good luck!' like... THANK YOU#he's the fucking GOLD STANDARD cis people btw
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Mity I doodled (mostly from memory) earlier instead of studying for finals
#Sorry if I've been talking to people less or if I ignored literally anybody I'm trying to focus on stuff#Even if I'm active on Tumblr a bunch reblogging stuff#I'm tryna not to distract myself TOO HARD#I got finals this week dawg....#I feel really bad for it but also I feel better distancing myself a bit from certain activity online#And like tumblr#Bc I've been checking this app endlessly and I need to get out of that habit#I think I did well enough about that today (that I wasn't actively thinking about it) and now I have the feeling og#POST AND SKITTER AWAY back so that feels a bit better but I feel bad for not responding to people oops#IRTS oakey. Have a mity. I will be mental illness rambles in my tags sorry#I am go eepy after posting this#Toontown#Toontown Corporate Clash#(unsure abt main tagging this for reasons stated earlier and bc too many notes can get to my brain but... I likey this one.)#Rainmaker#Guz art
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*comes into ask how with a shaky smile*
Howdy there Hon. I hope the New Years been treating you alright so far, and I wish that it will continue to bless you with the goodness you deserve ✨🧡
Sorry to bother your inbox again, but this is “Independent Woman” from a request a couple weeks ago and I've had kind of a rough day, and your writing always makes me smile.
If it's not too much to ask, may I request a follow-up on that prompt please? How the Bayverse/Rise boys would react to their stubbornly independent SO having a rough day to the point that they cave and ask for cuddles?
No stress, no worries if you're not in the mood for it. I totally understand. Please take care of yourself first and foremost! Please drink water and know you are appropriated! 🧡✨
howdy anon-chan! 🧡
i'm so sorry that you've had a rough day. i hope at this point it's going a little better and that you're able to get the rest you need. there's a quote that i like to think about when i'm having a rough time: "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow." -Mary Anne Radmacher
anyway, i hope this helps you smile!
(here's the other post)
Leonardo
Leo has been waiting for (hoping for, praying for) this, for you to come to him in your time of need. He feels bad, he doesn't actually want you to have a bad time or a rough day, but at the same time he loves to be needed. He already has a plan in place.
Mikey scampers off at his signal, and Leo escorts you to his room. There he encourages you to get under the covers and mess up his bed however you need to in order to get comfy.
Then he climbs in with you and holds you. He doesn't ask about what's wrong, doesn't try to talk to you about anything. He can tell that isn't what you need right now.
Mikey comes in (quietly for once) with some tea. He sets the tray down on the bedside table and smiles at you before quickly leaving. Leo tells you that the tea is there if you want it, then goes back to quietly holding you.
You realize, after laying in his arms for a while, that he is meditating. You try to match your breathing to his, and you see a small smile steal across his face when he feels what you are doing. You fell right into his trap.
The two of you breathe in sync for a while, just soaking in each other's presence.
If you decide to talk about it, Leo listens very closely to you. He's not confident that it will happen, but he hopes that you'll tell him if it's something he can help with. No matter what though, if you just need to vent or need advice or need him to do something for you, he will respect your wishes.
Raphael
Raph's first instinct is to find out who hurt you so that he can go take care of them. Fortunately, he goes with his second instinct, which is to bundle you in his arms and carry you to his room.
Once there, he climbs into bed and rearranges the two of you until you are both comfortable. He makes sure you are completely covered with him, his strong hands rubbing your back. "I've got ya sweetheart. What do ya need?"
Raph isn't quite confident in his ability to comfort you, so he does need some guidance. But once you let him know what you need, he's on top of it.
If you just want to curl up on his plastron and be held, he will stay with you as long as you need. He will rub your back. He will be your own personal weighted blanket. Gentle touches or rough hugs, hell if you need him to distract you he will. Anything for you.
(Raph finds that he wants to give you the gentle touches. He wants to hold you gently, he wants to show you softness. But if that's not what you need, he'll just have to talk to you about it later. This ain't about him.)
If you want to talk about it, if you need to vent, Raph'll listen. He'll empathize. He might growl or mutter as you talk, but he won't interrupt. If you want advice, he'll do his best to give it to you.
Anything you need, he'll get it for you. Drink, food, more pillows? It's there almost before you ask for it. You won't have to lift a finger or do anything if you don't want to. "I'll take care of you princess."
Donatello
Donnie immediately has so many questions, but he sets them aside. You asked him to help you learn how to be cared for, so he's going to do just that.
He takes to the lab, because the bed there is comfier than the one in his room. He puts on some music you like and turns down the volume. He encourages you to climb in and climbs in behind you. He lays down and lets you climb on him however you want.
Once the two of you are comfortable, he asks if you want to talk about it. He realizes that you need to be guided into asking for what you want, and he's prepared to do that. Your answer is the beginning of the mental flow chart Donnie created specifically for caring for you.
If you do want to talk about it, Donnie first asks if you want advice or if you just want to vent. Once that's established, he is an active listener. He asks questions and gives you nudges if he thinks you need it. He'll make those snarky comments that make you laugh. He checks in periodically to make sure that you're still okay. Talking to Donnie will always make you feel better.
If you don't want to talk about it, that's okay too. He'll ask if there's anything you need, then send the drone to zap Raph into getting it for you. Once Raph is gone (rubbing his arm and muttering murderously), Donnie settles in for a nice long cuddle session with you.
If you're okay with it, he pulls up some work. He asks if you want a distraction, and if so he'll start telling you about what he's doing. Donnie works with one hand while the other absentmindedly rubs your arm. He still checks in every once in a while to make sure you're okay and ask if you need anything.
Michelangelo
Mikey, much like Leo, hates that you're upset but is so happy that you came to him so he could care for you. This is a huge step, you're making progress! Now it's his turn to make progress, to show you how he can care for you.
He asks if you need anything first, so he can grab it without interrupting the "epic cuddle session" you're about to have. (Later, when you ask him to get you something, he'll interrupt the cuddle session anyway with zero complaints. He just wants you to be happy.)
Once that's all taken care of, he hustles you off to his room, hand on your back. Thank the pizza gods that Leo had forced him at sword point to clean it the day before. You both get in bed and get comfy.
He holds you as if you are a treasure, a beloved teddy bear. It is hard to believe that Mikey can be this gentle. He wraps you in blankets and props you up with pillows until you are surrounded in softness and him.
Then he starts to talk. He chatters on about anything and everything, whatever comes to mind. His skateboard tricks, their latest encounter with the Foot, Raph breaking his most recent lifting record... you are caught up on ALL the turtle gossip.
Mikey doesn't stop until he gets a smile out of you. When he sees it, his answering smile lights up the room. He asks if you are feeling better. If you are, he starts being silly, kissing your face and tickling you until you are crying from laughter. If you aren't, he asks if you want to talk about it. He'll listen and commiserate with you, and support you no matter what.
#bayverse leo#bayverse raph#bayverse donnie#bayverse mikey#tmnt#writing tag#talking tag#i'm sorry it took me so long i'm a slow writer#(i get distracted a Lot)#also please don't apologize for coming into my inbox#i love getting asks and talking to people#i love getting requests because it gives me the opportunity to stretch my writing muscles and get better#plus i get to think about turtles that's always a win#thank you for the reminder to drink water i uhhhh am very bad at remembering to do that
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i've been silently stewing on this for A While in my little corner but i wish this community would participate in the "send an ask to the person you reblog this ask meme from" thing that other rp communities do on this site.
there's been a number of people i've heard from or noticed being bummed about getting few or no asks for these memes within the gw2 tumblr community, and like... maybe as a community we should go back to following that little rule? just something to consider, perhaps.
IF YOU ALREADY DO THIS OR NEVER STOPPED DOING THIS! THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE! I HOPE YOU GET MANY ASKS! 🥰💕
#just a thing i noticed people stopped doing here a while ago#despite that a lot of the gw2 ask meme prompts also ask that people do this.#and it's slowly gotten on my nerves more and more over time#im also not tired of people complaining about the trend. but that the trend continues to exist to be complained about#ok that's my big spicy hot take#text#just to be clear i am not meaning to attack or single anyone out with this#and like whatever if you dont want to send asks but still rb ask games i cant really stop you lol#it's ultimately not a very big deal!#but it does feel sucky to send asks and be unable to participate in fun community games like everyone else bc you receive none yourself#like seeing 5+ rbs from you on an ask meme and getting a grand total of 0-1 asks feels bad todd#paragraph rambling in tags sorry lmao
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i've been having an itch to write an if game, do you have any tips? i feel like its a very bad idea to jump straight in head first yk?
honestly my advice IS to just jump right in. just start writing! can't do anything either way if you don't have anything written down.
besides that, i find i always ask myself two questions when i start an IF story: what kind of story am i trying to tell, and how am i going to use interactive fiction to tell it?
are you looking to write something shorter or longer, linear or branching? and how do you want the player to interact with the narrative?
for example: when i started one day hike, i knew it was going to be linear, but i also wanted it to feel very personal and intimate. i used the link mechanic to insert memories or inner monologues from the main character that the player could click through to experience in the middle of the present narrative. it allowed me to put the player in the main character's head and it broke up the reading experience and still allowed for some interaction.
so with that in mind, while i was writing, i made sure to look for moments where i could potentially insert those links, and it definitely influenced the way i ended up writing that story and dividing the passages.
then with tnp, i wanted an actual customizable player character, i wanted LIs, and i wanted a lot of choices and branching. so when i write that, i'm sure to pay attention for any scenes where i could put a choice, or add some flavor text, or even possibly branch the narrative.
unlike one day hike, the player interacts and directly influences the story with their choices, so i have to account for a lot more and actually do a bit of planning as i write.
it's important to figure this part out early on because you want to make sure you're thinking about these things, and how they effect the narrative you're writing as you write it; both tnp and one day hike are interactive fiction, but i approached them very differently during the writing process because of how i wanted the stories to be told.
BUT that's not to say that you can't change it later on down the line. others have said it before me but when you start out it's soooo important to just let your first draft BE a first draft. it's not going to be perfect right away and that's okay. as long as you get some words down on the page, you can edit it later and mold it into what you really want it to be. both of my stories have changed a lot as i've written them, that's just part of the process.
so once you've answered those two questions, you can really dig in and start writing. there's lots of things you can do with IF, don't be afraid to get weird with it and experiment to find something that you like and that really enhances your story.
#also sorry if u were looking for more coding advice instead of writing but i am BAD at coding LOL#but there are a lot of people that have coding tags and there are a lot of twine templates that help walk you through that part#the twine documentation itself is not that difficult and is all available online#when it comes to the UI of your game i always suggest dealing with that last. again you need something tangible and written down first#before you can do anything else#anyways GOOD LUCK!!!#writing#ask#anonymous
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The Bad Batch season 3 has been interesting thus far. I really liked episodes 1-7 and I've nothing particularly bad to say about any of those episodes. But honestly episode 8, and after today, episode 9, it's once again gotten to be a bit of a pain to get through. Maybe I'm just too much of a Crosshair guy, idk. Today's episode especially irked me but last time I discussed the topics it delves into I got some pissy people in my notes and I'd rather avoid that this time around.
#star wars#star wars the bad batch#tbb spoilers#the bad batch spoilers#(not really spoilers but just in case yaknow)#to be as non-spoilery as possible:#midichlorian discourse is a beast and talking to most people about it is about as fun as pulling teeth#finding someone with nuanced takes about it is incredibly difficult#by the way. this post is not an invitation for people to run into my notes and whine#which was a problem i had when posting about s2#fun concept: me having an opinion doesnt mean you have to agree or try to convince me otherwise#sorry if im sounding aggressive in these tags or am being way more weird about this then i should be#i did Not have a good time trying to talk about tbb s2 and the ahsoka show on here and it kinda...#made it less fun to post my thoughts. bc felt like everything i said was being taken in the worst way possible#thus im not posting much about tbb s3 and when i do im gonna cover my ass with lengthy tags like this#also im autistic and i feel the need to explain everything i do. so here we are. sorry to the 3 people who will ever see this#regardless its my blog and if i wanna rant in the tags then dammit. i will
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accidentally invented a new form of no bedtime called 11pm glass of emergency-c + 4pm latte + 8pm cup of black tea + 9pm cup of black tea
#the real question is can i go to church on less than 5 hours of sleep and still function lol#i unlocked my instagram bc church wouldn't stop tagging me to direct people to me for stuff but that meant i had to delete a bunch of pho#tos AND rewrite a bunch of captions for photos i didn't WANT to delete bc i was too mean to random sharks prospects#which is fine if it is u know the anonymity of tumblr but not public instagram where my church won't stop FULL NAMING AND TAGGING ME#''anonymity of tumblr'' i doxx myself on here like 80 times a day in front of more people than i went to college with#anyway my point is i was going through deleting all evidence of politics pens fandom and legal documents and i was like damn#my attitude towards my team SUCKS. i gotta be way less of a hater!!!#what did my prospects ever do wrong besides everything NOTHING. the system is BROKEN. i am sorry i will be so much nicer guys :(#also if u really want to be humbled. scrolling back to 2012 on your instagram and re-experiencing senior year of college. BAD#i've deleted i think everything that would reasonably get our nonprofit status pulled but what a horrific journey it was#two full hockey intermission periods of deleting shit plus another hour at home doing several more passes and then rewriting captions#so that some poor 21 year old prospect randomly searching their name doesn't see me full ass call their teammate cringe#their teammate IS cringe. but i love him. but the nuances are lost on instagram people don't understand these things they take everything#at face value#don't know why i just assigned shakir mukhamadullin they/them pronouns#i think i need to go lie in bed with a blanket over my head until i suffocate#this ALWAYS happens i get too hype about mackenzie blackwood and start listening to selena gomez and then it's like almost 3am and i'm just#fresno oilers.txt#oh and. a friend sent me screenshots of the girl she's been flirting with on a dating app and they are SOOOOO cute#i hope they make a good run of it i really do bc it was SO cute. living vicariously through episcopalian lesbians as one does#but then i was trying to figure out how to edit my dating app profile to dissuade chasers but still honeytrap guys who are tall enough#or athletic enough to pick the tangerines at the top of the tangerine tree. bc i couldn't reach this week#but there were still like god maybe 150 tangerines on the tree. i was like this could be feeding people but i'm TOO SHORT#and my life will be like this. FOREVER#icb the future of this garden is so psychologically burdensome that i'm having to build it into a dating app profile lol#well now that i'd treated this entire tag set as twitter for and hour and a half#time to go try to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and then wake up in [checks notes] four hours
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#i'm resisting the impulsive urge to vent proper because i don't want to go there especially this tired but#not everything is literal#not everything is serious#not everything is a joke#if you are unsure about something just ask#also#they are not our friends#they are grown men who can and do take care of themselfs and most people in the fandom understand that#so we can clown around over stupid shit while also not forgetting that#the two things can and do coexsist#but also let's not forget that they are simply human and can be tired or make a conscious decision to do or not do something#without any big conspiracy in the background#there is a line too far just as with everything#sometimes it isn't a bad idea to stop and look which side of it we are on#and i am myself are prone to at least dance on it so i'm not here to be smart i'm mostly just ckecking on myself#but some peeps also could use a moment to objectively see stuff#sorry this is fairly vague and half of it doesn't make sense#that's why it's in the tags#and almost certainly gonna get deleted in a few hours#i just needed to think#g'night y'all#see ya tomorrow#hopefully
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tagged by @howdidthisevenhappenanyway - cheers!
Rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or however many you like).
so, funnily enough the last thing I wrote was actually placeholder text for a project I've been kicking around for...........lets not talk about it, hence the formatting being fuckin weird
[[cool, let's go do war crimes about that!|landing]]
Since that's uhhh sort of boring, and also because I promise I'm still working on the actually posted stuff, have the last line from the murderpuppy fic I wrote! (which is like. three chapters ahead of what's posted.)
The gore pools, seemingly suspended in mid air; the tiny part of Bail's mind not occupied with the rest of the situation is charmed that Ben is apparently concerned with the state of the Palace flooring, enough to expend effort to keep from dirtying it with... bits.
no obligations tagging...uh, @frostbitebakery @elwenyere @lttrsfrmlnrrgby and anyone else who wants to play!
#coats chats#murderpuppy au#tag games#I'm not dead! just. busy and also so so so exhausted.#writing takes so much brain and I have so little atm#also if you recognise the formatting of the first bit: yes! I am making very bad choices!#yes! I will have to convert the whole thing to html if it ever gets finished!#yes! I do expect it to fuck up my word count on AO3 forever and ever and ever!#if you don't: don't worry about it. I am making normal sane choices that normal sane people make. it's fine we're fine.#(also I will get to the other couple memes soon sorry!)
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