#i also worked in a theater for 5 years and nothing happened i literally got approached by zero people
Text
Marvel Watch: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023)
Watched: 05/21/2023
Format: Theater!
Viewing: First
Director: James Gunn
On Friday night I watched the mostly panned Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania, and on Saturday spent an ungodly amount of time discussing the film with Danny for the Superheroes Every Day podcast. Spoiler: it wasn't my favorite movie. And so it was that here, deep in Marvel Phase 5, that I finally saw Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023).
You'd have to listen to the podcast and read between the lines on other posts to know how I feel about Marvel these days. It's an affection, but one that knows where we're at in the scheme of creation and the realization that what always worked will not always work, and that they're now on to properties that have always struggled within the Marvel portfolio, while still not dishing up a Fantastic Four movie that we all know is coming.
As has been largely agreed upon, James Gunn's Guardians of the Galaxy solidified the lessons of Iron Man (and to a lesser extent, Thor) and re-positioned how Marvel designed its films into action-comedies with heart. GotG somehow, against all odds, managed to make you care about a tree with one line of dialog, an asshole space-raccoon, a manchild with knives, a mass-murderer, and a slacker with delusions of grandeur. Plus a redneck pirate! The heart part was a bit surprising as we watched our leads kill a ship full of pirates, etc... Not the usual side of superheroes.
Bit, dammit, if I wasn't weepy at the end when Groot did his thing. And in the second one when we all worked through whatever we call found family and family. And who didn't like the Christmas special?
When I was 12 and getting into comics (circa 1987), I picked up a bundled four-pack of the 1986 Rocket Raccoon mini-series from a spinner rack at my local comic shop (and still my shop!), Austin Books and Comics. I was wildly enthusiastic about what I read, but also understood - apparently this series was not popular and I was going to have to love Rocket alone.
In truth, Rocket was deeply changed by the time he got to the GotG films. In the original series he was a gold-hearted law-man in an insane world (literally), with an otter girlfriend and a Walrus uncle. They'd been placed there to help keep an eye on "the loonies", crazy humans who needed looking after. The series is bonkers and has nothing to do with anything that would come up later in the comics or movies featuring the now gruff and ready-to-rumble Rocket. Over time, these things happen in comics.
I was also very aware of the High Evolutionary from late 1980's/ early 1990's comics, and in-particular a really fun summer event called "The Evolutionary War"* that gave me insight into his whole deal. He's a Grade A villain, but I wasn't sure how one would use him in a Marvel film. But here we are.
SPOILERS
Full stop - it was nice to see Marvel firing on all cylinders again. They're taking too long between sequels and re-appearances of fan-favorite characters as they litter the MCU with new characters, but mostly it's been 6 years since Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. Snippets of them in in big crossover films is nice, or doing some day work on Thor is cool, but... come on.
Luckily it doesn't feel like anyone missed a beat. Even if the audience who saw the last one in middle school is potentially now in college (that's too long, Marvel).
After multiple movies of Rocket being a bit rough around the edges, we get his origin story - even if the Guardians don't. And that's okay. But after being wounded in a fight with the newly hatched Adam Warlock by the Sovereign, Rocket is injured and its discovered his cybernetics include a kill-switch, which in turn points to the legitimate and illegitimate affairs of the MCU-space-freighting High Evolutionary.
Turns out this movie is about vivisection and animal testing, and puts a face to the whole affair, while creating Ani-Men along the way.
It's clear Gunn read and appreciated the groundbreaking comic We3 by Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely, a three-issue story about a dog, cat and rabbit given cybernetic enhancements as a military experiment. Set free by their keeper when she realizes the military is going to euthanize them, things get very dark, very fast, but it's also an emotional rollercoaster. (Talk about the comics that live in your head. It's still one of my favorite comics of all time.)
Pretty clearly Gunn took the characters from the whimsical 1986 comics, overlaying them on ideas and concepts seen in We3, creating something new and utterly heartbreaking in ways I was not expecting.
Meanwhile, Peter Quill is working through his grief at living in a world where his new Gamorra has rejected him, Nebula is trying to make the best of her situation and move forward, Mantis is coming into her own and Drax is... Drax.
Our villain this outing is the aforementioned High Evolutionary, recast here as a galactic-level type, played with tremendous effect by Chukwudi Iwuji - a "visionary" who is endlessly working his way to building a utopian society by trying to create new species through an endless parade of grotesquries. But maybe he doesn't know what he's doing? And/ or is more into the process itself than the end goal? And who jealously sees a true, inherent genius in his creation of Rocket that he, himself, lacks.
I can't say how remarkable it is that Gunn works in multiple arcs across multiple characters, and, arguably, those arcs all work. It's possible the overall story that's an excuse for spending time with his characters is a little messy - but I didn't really think so. Gunn is mostly responsible for his own scripts, and he manages to keep things tight. But nothing sacrifices the journeys we've been on since the first film - the characters continue to grow, reflect, refract and change.
And this is Gunn. He absolutely knows how to push the buttons to make you laugh, cry, sit on the edge of your seat, make you love a character instantly and care about them in ways that few other filmmakers can do. All of this is wrapped up in one of the more violent corners of the MCU where life really is cheap, and the devastation of whole planets is something that happens along the way. Characters we just met meet swift and terrible ends.
But violence isn't the point. Unlike many-a-superhero movie, GotG doesn't reduce itself to a slog of equally matched foes making a light show. Here in Volume 3, we have a finale during which the last 1/3rd isn't just when things get crazy, it's also when character arcs come to a head and work through to completion. And not just "if I beat that guy, I can go home". It's all fairly legitimate third act resolution, which is really something when you consider it's also the 9th to 15th act we've had for some of these characters.
Gunn creates amazing scenes. It's worth noting that he does use practical sets when he can (Knowhere's business area is one massive set), and he doesn't rely on dark or haze to cover up what he wants to show. His characters are buyable in their insane spaces - making our own world and reasonable facsimiles of it - look like the alien thing on screen. And he knows that intersplicing events is the real action in many action movies (thanks, Star Wars, for that lesson!). But he's also not above an astounding but reasonably paced hallways fight giving our re-teamed heroes their moment.
And, of course, Gunn's soundtrack was typically on point. I assume Gunn and I must be within a few graduating classes of each other, because I see him.
This was the first movie since probably February of 2020 that Jamie and I have seen together in a theater, and the first for me in an Alamo since, I believe, Birds of Prey. So of course I'm almost predisposed to like this one on principle of the cinematic experience. And, sure, I am certain I missed an error or ten. I am sure the anthropomorphization and cruelty shown to Rocket and his friends was disliked, or seen as manipulative or sentimental. On that we'll have to part ways and ponder the very nature of fictional narratives.
As with all of Gunn's output from the past decade-plus, the rollercoaster of experiences and emotional whiplash - while maintaining a coherent story - is mind-boggling. For comparison/ contrast, one need only turn their eye on the recent-to-Disney+ Quantumania, which just keeps hitting the same notes over and over.
I don't mind that Gunn essentially killed characters I'd hoped to see on screen one day since the appearance of Rocket. In a way, I'm disappointed, but I do feel it's earned. I may actually be more cheesed that this eliminates the possibility for a We3 movie, but that was never going to happen properly, anyway. And I am delighted that Rocket did get so much spotlight this film, and that the story felt meaningful.
I have no idea what will become of Marvel Studios over the next five to ten years. Not all signs point to another twenty years of non-stop success, and some bad choices have been made here and there in a way that seemed impossible once Marvel started firing on all cylinders. But it's great to send off at least this little corner of the MCU with a sequel worthy of the goodwill.
Sunday afternoon I was asked what I thought of Gunn on Superman: Legacy, and while I won't get into why, specifically, watching a non-Suicide Squad film settled for me that he's the right person of the job at this moment. I think he's got it.
*I've always held this up as "how comics cross-over events should be handled". There's a main story and the individual summer annuals tie-in, and you can opt in or out, and it gives everyone time to mention that it happened later in the year in their ongoing titles.
https://ift.tt/qpV3mL0
from The Signal Watch https://ift.tt/NyRxbmf
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
is there seriously nowhere to buy textbooks in person anymore for vic uni?? wow that really is horrible. fuck all the "protestors" and their lingering sentiment. what's your opinion on vic uni as it stands now? i've heard from a lot of people that in recent years it has changed (in a negative way), and even tho the uni wasn't responsible for the protestors, i heard from some people that they weren't so keen on the uni in the aftermath. whether it was due to the proximity to parliament or i also heard the uni's response towards students was basically "tough luck" when their finances and studies were impacted due to the "protestors"
yeah we got emails and the response was straight up "nothing we can do, avoid coming in if you feel threatened" which was like. yeah?? we feel threatened? 12-18 yr old girls at the local high school had to add like 20/30 mins to their commute because if they went past the protests they would be harassed. my 19 yr old coworker was reduced to tears by a man screaming at her at the train station about her mask. she had to come into work using uber to avoid it happening again. she lived over an hour away, it was NOT cheap.
i walked past or through the protestors a lot because i had to go in that way to study, home was too busy and our internet was spotty. i had to get very used to ignoring the shouting. but the public were at boiling point by the end assaults/harassment of the general public had gone up, local businesses being invaded happened more and suddenly people were driving past the protestors throwing milkshakes or yelling at them, which only made them more aggressive.
as for whats up at vic im not sure im the best person to ask. i dont pay attention to too many of the changes and rarely participate in clubs (i did help with classical theater and uniq in my first 2 years)
what i can say is the million dollars spent on the new science centre was useless, as the reason the science department needed a new building was because their lecture halls and labs were too small. the buildings rooms are the exact same size as they were in the other building. so the science faculty are fucked if they want anything for the next decade because "oh well you just got a new building." i dont know why theyve bought that massive bloody abandoned building down the hill and dont see how paying for its destruction is going to help with costs, god knows what they plan on putting there. at least first years will stop breaking in and cutting themselves on broken glass and nails/falling through broken flooring.
i adore pretty much all but one or two lecturers ive had at vic, the good ones are exceptionally good and make attending class a joy. and because nz is so small they know everyone in their subject worth knowing and are happy to make connections with them possible which is a lifesaver. also as someone who restarted their degree cos health problems + changed subjects ive had a LOT of lecturers from psych to classics to media studies to polsci. my main problem is the problem is the treatment of lecturers.
a close friend of mine from high school works as a tutor there and as much as he adores it, every time hes ever gotten his paycheck its because his union pressed vic to send it on time. recently theres been protests by staff for better pay, which i fully support, i even attended some protests because quite frankly for the experience, knowledge and ties these people have they are paid a pittance.
as for the book stores, we have multiple bookstores here but most are secondhand. the ones that arent dont stock textbooks, because the dedicated textbook place for 50+ years has been vicbooks. i dont know who it will fall to. unitybooks maybe? or we'll just have to order online like i said before.
but with the protests, people likely got turned off heading to vic because, ultimately, parliaments down the hill from from it. literally you just gotta walk up the terrace, turn right and then walk another 5 minutes. takes 20 minutes if youre fit enough. getting into uni was near impossible for most people because you had to go through or past the protest camp to get there (unless you were lucky enough to live on the other side of the city and go up the terrace the other side). also, because the main city train station and main city bus station are/were on the other side of the camp, it made confrontation if you used those modes of transport unavoidable.
ultimately the protest is not vics fault, not by a mile. if i were to blame anyone it would be 1. the protestors themselves 2. the police, who, when i walked past on day one, had only sent a cop car and 3 cops to watch over the situation, which is how they managed to pitch all the tents/blockade the traffic/take as much ground as they did. police were woefully, woefully unprepared. 3rd blame goes to the tow companies who all refused to remove the vehicles blocking the street because they were sympathetic to the group that were spraying nazi symbols on the war monument and calling for execution of our politicians. fuck them.
honestly im just glad that its over, even a year on. my dad was coming home when the fighting broke out and he could see them throwing bricks and starting fires a street away and the riot police bearing down on them and using hose. it was incredibly unnerving to watch, esp as i had friends and family working in the buildings around there.
1 note
·
View note
Text
enhypen as people from my hs
honestly high school was a blast for me and i just want to apologize to anyone who was in high school when covid hit 💔 i made so many memories and i was feeling nostalgic because i was listening to onoffonoff by keshi which released when i was in high school 😭 gOD im old
heeseung
there was this one kid who was an actor and was always in the school theater performances (our school was focused on the arts so he looked really good 😩) he had the nicest brown eyes and i tHinK his name was isaac but he had this slight british accent and everyone thought he was really attractive 😭 i tried making small talk until i found out he was two years older than me and had a super pretty gf who lived in britain 💔 he didn't have a lot of friends because he was new and was the environmental club's leader but i swear... everyone had a crush on him 🤠 and heeseung kNOWS he's a popular, pretty boy..
jay
gives me my friend mikey vibes, he was my first friend in high school... he saw me walking in the halls like 😫 and he was like do you want some meatballs? i stress made 75 meatballs.. please eat some with me... and BOOM yeah my first friend of high school over meatballs 😭 he was so funny and tutored me in spanish 😣 he wasn't even that good himself... i wasn't paying him tho so it didn't matter... if anyone tried to cancel him he would lift up his shirt bc everyone was in awe of his abs and we would all just shut up. i can see jay do this in the future, like i just know he checks himself out... 😭
jay
omg one of mikey's good friends was named elliot and elliot was one of the absolute nicest people i have ever met like he drinks his respect women juice 🤠and he accidentally told his baseball team we were dating so we had to fake date for a while and break it off (nothing romantic actually happened) and one time i was walking with him and his friends to the market but his baseball members asked if he wanted a ride 😳 he was going to get in but then he realized i wouldn't be able to ride and so he sacrificed a car ride for a friend 😭 also we got pizza every week.. idk yall but jake screams this type of energy
sunghoon
i was friends with this guy named steven and we were neighbors and i was so in awe with him because he was literally good at everything !! dance captain, cross country star, one of the smartest in our grade, amazing painter, bassoon section leader, funny, like what 😭 he dated my ex best friend all throughout middle and high school (they're married now..) but literally i was surprised every time he could do something else perfectly 😩 i didn't know sunghoon was an ice skater for a pretty long time and when i found out i was like 😥 what can't this boy do.. literally so talented and v v heartthrob
sunoo
this babyboy reminds me of one of my closest friends now that i met in my freshman math class named kelly 🤩 kelly unni if you're reading this ily but like fr this girl would smile all the time and offer me snacks while learning stupid stuff like parabolas and blah 🙄 for any special holiday/bday she would always give out ramen noodle packs and can i mention she dances so well ?? we spent most of our time talking about seventeen who had just debuted i think (omfg) and this one boy named john who she really liked 💀 very cute and foodie vibes, we still rant to each other all the time 😣
jungwon
omfg this is literally my friend sam 😭 so so competitive and took like almost 12 aps during hs and i highkey miss him 😭 so over competitive to an amount i had to become his therapist every spring 💀 had an INSANE obsession with twice and joshua hong and was friends with furries his freshman year.. highkey bad at texting still to this day and the only reason why i passed chemistry and was my prom date bc i got dumped a week before people could buy prom tickets 🥺 he was a really good friend.. the work ethic screams yang jungwon 😍 also a surprisingly good dancer despite being tall,,
ni-ki
honestly gives me vibes of the girl who always asked for math homework 5 mins before it was due (i forgot her name 😭) but she was really funny and loud and apparently she got a lot of likes on musically (DO U GUYS REMEMBER?? I WAS IN HS😣) so nobody could really say no to her also she was on cheer and very hot so how could i say no ?? 😢 i let her copy off me for popularity 💀 but yea after using my for a good grade she gave me a hug and a giftcard and i was literally like WHQJSHWHWB????? idk just her chill vibe gives me ni-ki vibes 🤩
#enhypen fluff#enhypen drabbles#enhypen imagines#enhypen headcanons#enhypen#heeseung#jay#jake#sunghoon#sunoo#jungwon#ni-ki#this was fun#bb talk
71 notes
·
View notes
Text
Joji’s Birthday PriZoom (9/15/21)
Translation of the bonus content is in a seperate post again.
So yeah I never actually fell asleep after the showing haha. Was just lying in bed playing Love Live when I thought well... I got a good 4-5 hours of sleep in before the showing (better than literally nothing like last time)... If I’m gonna be awake I might as well start this while my emotions are raw so I rolled out of bed and wrote most of the below rambly mess.
And then I went to work. Which was kind of surreal. Because for a few hours my brain really was back in Japan again. There was something just a little magic about this showing I think. A lot of things came together (starting with how talkative people actually were during Pride the Hero! Ahh!) etc.
B... ut.....
I guess I’ll get this out of the way first. I was super heartbroken at the low turnout for this one. Only 65-85 people in the cheering room... But it was a weekday, sooo... I’m just going to hope that a lot of people bought the archive tickets to check it out later.... Yes... I have decided that is the case.............
The people who did, however, missed out on the cheering room and thus missed out the latest incident to enter my personal list of all-time favorite moments in this fandom. After Joji’s episode in SSS Part 2 we had some “technical difficulties”... (I put that in quotes because I somewhat doubt it was technical difficulties. I mean, the stream cut out cleanly RIGHT at the end of Joji’s episode. So I wonder if maybe someone just forgot about Minato’s episode and shut it off early hahaha...) and while we were waiting for them to restart the movie there was a long period of silence and a black screen. But us in the cheering room could all still hear each other. .....And someone started singing Brilliant Oath.
It was PERFECT. These are the moments I live for! This is why I’ve been to like over 100 cheering shows and I still KEEP GOING! I love this fandom! It may not have made the archive since the cheering wasn’t recorded for that but it will live on in our hearts.
Anyway...
I guess one bonus to having less people this time was that I actually managed to keep on the soundboard hell... the ENTIRE... TIME!! Although at a low volume. And honestly... I more or less completely stopped hearing it at one point I think haha. So... that kinda defeats the purpose I suppose. Actually no, even if it was just static background noise it was still nice to have on in SSS, which would have been pretty quiet without it. And it was worth it just for the one person who was like SHISHOOOO during one scene in Pride the Hero when Jin was going crazy hahaha (AH! When was it? I don’t remember now...). I also tuned in for a bit in episode 6 and loved when Minato’s sister says her age incorrectly everyone was like EIIIGHT (...that’s not correct either hahah....)
Since I knew this was going to be archived I tried bring my cheering A game to Pride the Hero with moderate success. Kinda mad at myself for missing stupid small things probably no one would care/look for I mean my camera is shit anyway (BUT I--). I’m just lucky it wasn’t way worse because Pride the Hero I can mostly run on autopilot. Out of all King of Prism media, it’s probably the one I’ve cheered the most (I mean it was all we had in theaters for literally like two years), and it was fresh in my mind from Minato’s showing too. So even with how exhausted I was, I made it through! (Then proceeded to take micro power naps on the floor during episodes 4 and 6.......) I also kinda wish I’d changed my background earlier. The show started before I got around to changing it and I was like I’ll change it during a break (........Pride the Hero has no breaks........) haha but yeah. I had Okayama station up from the Prism King Cup onward and the Momotaro mailbox up during SSS. The real background MVP though is the person who appeared to have up the bench in rural Okayama where Joji made his promise to Miyo!? I mean it looked kinda different because it wasn’t on a bridge but that HAD to be it, right!? (!!!??)
Also cosplay at this showing was amazing! We had like 3-4 Miyos, 2 Aces, KOKORO!? (and Taiga. Because who are we kidding there’s always a Taiga)
Also shoutout to the girl who cosplayed as... the PIECE OF CLOTH Joji sewed for Miyo!? (I think she was at both showings but I didn’t fully realize what she was supposed to be until the Playback Allstars at the very end hahah...)
And shoutout to the Ace cosplayer “singing” during all of Joji’s performances haha!!
And the person spinning in an office chair whenever any character was twirling around...
But BIGGEST shoutout to our own @takadanobaba who was somehow THE ONLY Joji cosplayer in the cheering room!? (The only overall for the first show, but another joined in the text-only room for the second show.)
I was SO HAPPY when Tatsuyuki Kobayashi noticed you!! RIGHT!?!? He was like “Oh and there’s someone dressed as Joji!” and you were the only one!!! He didn’t even say anything about the people dressed as Ace!!?! Haha! I wasn’t trying to do anything to get his attention (I wouldn’t know what to do anyway, and besides he’s not the kind of person who works the crowd like Masashi Igarashi does so I wasn’t expecting much) so having him notice you was a huge surprise and honestly just about as good!! AHHH!!!
But the concept of this showing was a little awkward ‘cause it’s like, as a fan, do you appeal for Joji or Ace? Tatsuyuki Kobayashi was maybe a little conflicted about how to act too. First he said he was coming as himself, but then he backpedaled and slipped into Ace being tsun when pulling the birthday crackers for Joji heheh.
But yeah, we’ve got to give him a break, he’s just so happy to have his own character finally. I’m happy about how happy he is to be Ace! But like honestly... Not like I’m necessarily complaining but... This showing ended up being almost exactly the same as the Ace one pfffthahah!!! I mean he mostly just talked about being Ace and went over a lot of the same things. Like being the surprise guest at the MRS concert, etc. I think he may have said this before too, but when he originally recorded Love Mix, Ace didn’t exist yet so he didn’t really know who he was supposed to be singing as and just tried to sound like a sparkly idol. And I’ve always felt that! Like I think his voice changed or evolved between Love Mix and Joker Kiss into being less generic idol/Joji and a lot more Ace.
OH!! I don’t think he said this at the other one (but for some reason it sounds vaguely familiar?). He was talking about how he knew of King of Prism and actually went to shows before he was cast in Pride the Hero. And after he was going to a Pride the Hero show and Sugita (Joji’s actual voice actor) was on the escalator behind him. HAHAH.
I LOVE stories like this because... okay like, when you go to a theatrical cheering show there is always this introduction video where they talk about cheering manners. And they warn you not to say anything mean because “you never know, a star might be sitting next to you.” And to know THAT’S ACTUALLY TRUE SOMETIMES.... JFLSJDLJG. I mean, I’ve only seen King of Prism in Tokyo a handful of times so it’s probably never happened to me. Actually I guess... technically... this show and the last one DO count because Masashi Igarashi and Tatsuyuki Kobayashi were watching with us before and/or after their segments and probably listening in!!! (Still, I guess the point is it’s nice to know the voice actors actually do go in their private time, too.)
Oh, one more shoutout I forgot about to the person I think had a big red car with Joji and... a bunch of Jin mochikoros in the back!!? They rolled it by the screen so fast why hahah.
And it was great to see Joji’s 2019 birthday video again and confirm it wasn’t a fever dream. Hopefully I can grab that from @takadanobaba when the archive goes up in a couple days (it will be a quick and easy translation!).
Okay that’s it.....
DO THE PRIZOOMS
Or at least buy the archive tickets and watch later
(but they are expensive and it’s not the same)
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
5, sternclay, nsfw? 👀
Here you go
5: Incubus
“Buddy, I promise, you can come in and cuddle in like, ten minutes.”
The whining at the bedroom door stops, replaced by a big, wet nose, just visible through the crack at the bottom of the door as it snuffles back and forth. It’s very cute, but Barclay is not about to let his dog deprive him of a much needed jerk-off session.
He’s ready for bed, so it’s just a matter of pulling down his pajama pants and getting to it. Closing his eyes, he pictures that cute customer who gets black coffee and a croissant every morning at the Lodge. It takes a few tries to find a fantasy he likes, the one about the back counter and the new uses for a spatula.
Outside the door, Sass starts whining again, scratching frantically at the wood. There goes his deposit.
God, he can practically feel the guy up against him.
The bed dips on the outside of each thigh. Opening his eyes reveals a man wearing nothing but deep blue boxer briefs and a smile.
“Holyshitwhatthefuck?” He clambers back, banging his head on the wall in his hurry to sit up, “what the fuck man, how’d you get in here?”
“A portal between dimensions. That’s the, um, simplified version. But don’t worry, I’m not here to hurt you. The opposite really. I’m an incubus.”
“Why the fuck is a fucking sex demon in my bedroom?” Barclay yanks his pants up. The incubus looks sad at this development.
“I feed on sexual energy, and to do that I follow trails of that same energy to their source. You have a lot of it.”
“Yeah, year-long dry spell’ll do that.”
“Consider it broken.” The demon leans forward only for Barclay to hold up a hand.
“Nope. This is not how I want to break it. Sorry.”
“Is it my appearance? I can look like anyone--or anything--you want.” His features morph, eyes going from brown to blue to green, hair from honey-blond to fire red, “if you’re shy, my powers let me see into your deepest fantasies and make them come true.”
“No that’s not the problem, I wanna fuck someone I have some kinda connection to, not some guy who dropped into my bedroom. And would you please knock it off with that face-changing? I’m not gonna fuck you, so you can just look like yourself.”
The incubus starts, surprised by his sharp refusal, features landing on short, black hair, blue eyes, and a face that’d make a movie-star insecure.
“I said you don’t have to try and be hot.”
“...This is how I look.”
“Oh. Uh. Cool.”
The demon smiles, “Having second thoughts?”
He takes a deep breath and lies through his teeth, “Nope.”
With that, he stands, grabbing the nearest shirt and pulling it on. Sass wiggles when he opens the door, takes one look behind him, and runs the other way.
“I wish I knew why earth canines react that way to me. I have a hellhound named Mother Leeds who adores me.”
“Jersey Devil reference?” He pads into the kitchen, starts the kettle and rummages in the cabinet for the most soothing tea blend he owns.
“Yes!” The demon grins from his new position by the fridge, “when I found her she was pregnant with a litter. Most people don’t get it. Demons don’t either.”
“Friend of mine likes Mothman and all that kinda stuff. Uh” He takes a cup down, reaches for a second one automatically and then stops, “are you gonna hang around? Because my answer isn’t changing and if you keep pestering me I’ll just leave the apartment.”
“No, I’ll drop it. You’re not interested and sexual energy only works if it’s from something consensual. But, um” he toys with a magnet, “could I ask a few questions before I go?”
“About?”
“Humans. How things work up here, what your daily lives are like, that sort of thing.”
“Uh, sure.” He gets down the second mug, “is this so you can better seduce them or something?” Turning, he finds the incubus sitting at the table, producing a small notebook and pen from the air.
“No, this is my own research. I’m, um, more curious about humans than the average demon. I basically ended up an incubus because at my last job I kept trying to talk with humans or spend more time around them than was wise and, well, my supervisor got sick of it. So they offered me a reassignment to a role where the whole point was to be around people.”
“You fuck people just so you can, like, interview them afterwards?” He sets the two mugs on the table, notices that the notebook is crammed with questions in neat, elegant handwriting.
“Technically, I also need the energy from it. But, um, yes” he blushes, “I know it’s a sort of silly hobby.”
“I don’t think it’s silly to wanna know about other worlds and people. But this doesn’t seem like the most, uh, effective way to do it.”
A sigh as the demon picks up his mug, “You’ve got that right. Sometimes I can get a few questions in during ‘pillow talk’ but mostly it’s in and out. Literally.” He snickers at his own bad joke, which further kindles the inexplicable, protective impulse Barclay feels towards him, “Don’t get me wrong, I like my work, and being a good incubus takes skill and dedication. It just...isn’t quite what I thought it’d be.” He sips the tea, brings the mug away from his mouth to study the liquid, “what kind is this?”
“Mostly chamomile.”
“Chamomile…” he flips through the book, which contains more pages than should be physically and spatially possible, “that’s a plant, one that humans thing is calming, right?”
Barclay can’t help but smile, “Right. You want me to sit here and quiz you?”
“No, there’s too much to discover. What would you say is your area of expertise?”
“I’m a cook, so food.”
“Food, food, ah here it is. Let’s see, why do humans persist in eating things that could kill them?”
“You mean things like rhubarb or are we in, like, Fugu territory here?”
The demon smiles, “I have no idea, please say more.”
They sit at the table until two in the morning, at which point Joseph ,the incubus, excuses himself to go collect energy from a willing participant. Before he disappears, he takes a chance and tells Joseph that he can come back if he has more questions. The demon thanks him and, out of what Barclay suspects is a habit more than anything else, blows him a kiss goodbye.
----------------------------------------
“Y’know, I kinda figured you’d look more demonic. Do incubi just get human forms?” Barclay shakes red pepper flakes onto his pizza while Joseph finishes a filled breadstick.
“This isn’t my ‘true’ form. When you asked me just to look like myself when we met, I figured you meant the least alarming version.”
“As long as it’s not, like, a beast with a thousand eyes, we’re good.”
Joseph wipes his mouth and by the time the napkin reaches the other corner of his lips, Barclay is gasping.
His nails turn sharp and silver, his eyes pure black, but it’s his skin that’s most noticeable; it’s swirls and swoops of blue and silver, dancing down his arms and blooming out from the neck of his “Museum of Anthropology” souvenir shirt. He stands, giving Barclay a fuller view. Short horns sprout from his head, doubtless the perfect size and texture to hold him in place with your dick down his throat. His tail is that same mix of royal blue and silver, the right length to wrap around your hand and tug while you fuck him. Every inch of him is made to be pinched and pulled, groped and fondled, and Barclay will not be standing up from the table any time soon.
“It’s the color that gets people.” Joseph smiles with pointed teeth as he sits back down.
“It’s incredible, Joseph.”
The demon smiles, mischievous, “I’m glad you like it. Now, where were we?” He uncovers his notebook from a stack of parmesan packets and clicks his pen, appearance fading back to the human one Barclay is used to. He mourns his loss for a moment, before Joseph draws him into an animated conversation about movie theaters.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Come on Sass, it’s okay. Look, I even have your favorite.” Joseph holds out the treat, still fresh from the oven, while Barclay puts the rest of the batch out of range. The dog no longer runs from the demon, but will not come within arms reach of him.
Sass whines, looking from Joseph to Barclay and back.
“Here” Barclay settles on the couch next to him, resting his arm along the back of it, “see, buddy, he’s our friend.”
Sass creeps forward, still on his belly, plucks the treat from Joseph’s palm, and retreats to his bed.
“Progress.” Joseph leans back, pleased. Their positions mean he comes to rest with Barclays arm around him. Barclay doesn’t move it, and the demon stays put until the end of the episode of Hells’ Kitchen
------------------------------------------
The newest Agent X is so engrossing that Barclay doesn’t register Joseph until his friend slumps onto the bed.
“Hey, you’re early.” He sets the book down on the nightstand, scooching to where the demon sits rubbing his forehead.
“I’m, um, I’m having a bit of a problem.” When he looks up, silver and blue peeks through the skin on his face, “I misjudged how much energy I was going to get from my last two visits. I’m so weak I don’t think I can make it back home. I, um, I came here because if I’m going to be stuck and without powers I” his horns appear and he scratches them awkwardly, “I want it to be around someone I trust.”
“What’ll happen if you can’t get more energy?”
“I’ll get sick, and if the worst happens I’ll have to signal for someone to come get me. Which’ll get me demoted for sure.” He tucks his legs up onto the bed. He’s wearing the UFO socks Barclay gave him as a surprise last week, and the cook sets a hand on a flying-saucer covered ankle.
“You can stay as long as you need, okay? And if there’s anything else I can do to help, let me know.”
“Unless you feel like taking me door to door to ask your neighbors if they want to fuck, a safe place to rest is what I need most.”
“What if, uh, you recharged here?” He draws a finger up and down the side of Josephs’ calf.
The incubus raises his eyebrows, “Barclay, are you forgetting how we met?”
“I didn’t want to fuck you then, but now...now you’re you, this handsome, clever, dorky guy who also happens to be a sex demon who hangs around my house most nights. I, I didn’t ask about sooner because I was afraid you’d think it was fuck me or lose our friendship, but if I can help you in a kinda self-serving way, I’m down.”
Joseph shakes his head, “That’s sweet, but you’re not the only one with concerns. How can I be sure you actually want me, and you’re not just offering because you want to help?”
Barclay snaps his fingers, “You can read my deepest desires, right? How about you take a peek and tell me what you see?”
Joseph closes his eyes, tail twitching as he concentrates, and Barclay gets the distinct pleasure of watching his face as he learns the truth.
“Oh. OH. Um, you’re not kidding about how badly you want me. And some of this makes the reaction you had the one time I showed up in a suit make way more sense. But we can explore that later.” His eyes, now-pitch black, snap open, “right now, big guy, I’ll do whatever you want, however you want it.”
“In that case” Barclay catches Joseph just as he tries for a kiss, “how about you tell me what you want?”
“Barclay, I’m an incubus, I want whatever the person I’m feeding on wants.”
“Nuhuh, I don’t buy that, babe. You’re telling me there’s nothing that’s your favorite, or that you’re curious about?” He teases their lips together.
“N-no?”
“You’re not getting any kisses until you tell me the truth.”
Joseph narrows his eyes with a “hmmph.” Then, as if it’s his greatest secret, he whispers, “I want to know what it’s like to get a massage as foreplay. No one’s ever wanted it or offered, and it sounds so nice.”
Barclay rewards him with a kiss. The demon melts against him, slides a forked tongue into his mouth to tease it. Clawed fingers tug at his shirt until Joseph remembers he can do magic and renders them both naked with a wave of the hand.
When they part, Joseph licks his lips, “Holy hell, Barclay, that kiss was enough to make me feel better than I did this morning. Tastes nice too, like coffee with lots of cream.”
“So, coffee the way you like it.” Barclay nudges him backwards, rolls him over as the incubus keeps talking.
“Usually it’s a neutral sweetness. I wonder, hmm, maybe it has something to do with the fact you’re attracted to me, as in the actual meOHohhhhhhh” he flattens into the bed like a cat on a sunny floor as Barclay digs his thumbs under his shoulder blades.
“You can theorize later babe, I promise. Right now, all you gotta do is let me rub you down. Uh, can you magic up some oil or something? It’ll feel better if--great, thanks.” Barclay sets the lit massage candle safely on the nightstand, waiting for it to melt.
“Should I put my human form back on now that I can hold it?”
“Nope” he traces his hands up parallel patches of silver, pinches one horn playfully, “I love that version of you, but this one is so, so, fucking hot. Now” be kisses the base of his neck, “relax.”
Drizzling liquid wax down his spine makes the incubus moan, but the sound is nothing compared to what happens when he starts kneading him like dough. It’s a yowl, rough and inelegant in a way Joseph never is, and Barclay dedicates the next fifteen minutes to finding new ways to trigger it. He’s so beautiful, it’s like touching a painting, a galaxy, a miracle.
By the time he reaches his lower back the incubus is grinding on the bed and Barclay is half-hard from touching him. He grips Joseph’s ass, parting it enough to grind between the cheeks.
“Don’t tease” his tail delivers a scolding thwack to Barclays cheek. The cook growls, turning his head to capture the offending appendage between his teeth.
“OHholyffffffuckinghell.” Joseph rips the blanket as he flails, “no one’s ever thought to do that before and now I really wish they had.”
That’s all the encouragement he needs. He ignores his growing hard-on in favor of nipping and kissing his way down Joseph’s tail. It’s velvety, feels like nothing he’s ever experienced as it twitches and trembles under his tongue. The base gets an extra-hard lovebite and Joseph moans, rolling over so fast he nearly catches Barclay in the face with his cock. And what a cock, on the narrow side but covered in swirling ridges.
“Holy shit, you just get hotter and hotter.”
“Th-thank you, big guy, now for gods sake pleeEEEase fuck me.” He whimpers adorably when Barclay licks up his shaft.
“Okay babe, we can fuck. But I think…” he grabs the incubus, flipping them so Joseph straddles him, “I want you to fuck me.”
Joseph registers his words and his eyes glow deep blue.
“Uh, is that a good thing?”
“Yes, big guy, it’s the closest I get to having my pupils dilate when aroused. And since you look so good underneath me, I’ll expedite things” he snaps his fingers and Barclay inhales in surprise; his ass is dripping lube and stretched like someone just pulled three fingers away from it.
“Fuck yeah” he spreads his legs, “c’mon blue eyes, don’t make me wait anymoreOHFUCK, fuck, yeah, like that.” He hooks his legs around Joseph as the incubus thrusts all the way in. Joseph kisses in precise shapes up and down his face, even as his hips keep a rapid, erratic rhythm.
“Shit, shit, Barclay you taste so good, feel so good, please, please don’t stop touching me.”
“Not sure I could ever keep my hands to myself again, babe, god you’re so fucking handsomeAH, hah, someone got a praise kink?” He gasps out laughter as Joseph fucks him harder with each kind word. The ridges on his cock are solid enough that Barclay feels them with each drag, and it sets his toes curling.
“Maybe a little one” the incubus smiles against his neck, “though kink is a distinctly human concept and a complex one-SHITfuck, fuck please do that again.” He kisses Barclay hard as the human obligingly pulls his tail with one hand and smacks his ass with the other. Teeth catch Barclay’s lower lip on the next tug, a moan spilling from Josephs’ mouth down his chin.
“That’s it baby, fuck me while I rough you up, fuck, Joseph, your dick is fucking perfect, never gonna want another one, c’mon please, I’m close.”
Joseph sits up, grinning joyfully, and grips Barclays cock. It’s a masterful handjob, because how could a sex demon give anything else, but what strikes Barclay most is how happy and relaxed Joseph is. The incubus admitted once that even when he was having sex, he constantly worried about fulfilling the fantasy to earn enough energy to feed. Yet here he’s laughing and smiling, eyes aglow as he works Barclay up to the best orgasm of his life.
It means something; Barclay only hopes Joseph will stay in his life long enough for him to figure out what.
He’s too busy with the sparks behind his eyelids and the pleasure coursing down from his head to his toes to note that Joseph managed to make them cum at the same time. The incubus pushes a hand through his fair, swooping it back and off his face, as he notes this accomplishment.
“I want to run a marathon. Or maybe go hiking, or swim the lake. I have so much energy. Barclay, it’s amazing. You, it’s never been like that before. It’s felt good, but that was fucking transcendent.
“No fucking kidding.” Barclay shifts onto his side, nestling up against him so his head is under Joseph’s chin. He yawns, kisses a blue shoulder, “but you might have to burn off some energy without me. You wore me out, blue eyes.”
Joseph adjusts his arms so he’s holding him, “If I stay the night, can I walk Sass with you in the morning?”
Barclay nods, already falling asleep, safe in the knowledge that Joseph is okay and, better yet, so fond of him that his eyes are still glowing, “You got a deal, babe.”
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
First Kisses (Haikyuu - pt. 2)
Title: First Kisses (Haikyuu - pt. 2)
Genre: fluff (possibly even more than the first though I make no promises)
Pairing: Daichi/Asahi/Nishinoya/Tanaka/Ennoshita x reader (separate)
Notes: Though there wasn/t much demand, I couldn’t help myself. Seriously. The lack of immediate continuity actually made me mad. Otherwise, I felt the need to continue the saga with the second and (rest of the) third years!
Anyway, here goes nothing!
Part 1
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Masterlist
Daichi Sawamura
ok, lemme get this out first
this man would be an amazing boyfriend
and this would be matched with his s/o
someone very responsible and calm, but they aren’t afraid to turn into a momentary crackhead and pull a few pranks
either way, the first kiss would for sure happen on a date
i can imagine that it would be in a movie theater
but not in the back or the very front
somewhere in the middle of the theater
now, you two had decided to go see a movie for the next date
(consider this one your third or fourth. i can’t imagine that he’d do this on the first or second date, y’know?)
you two had struggled on choosing a movie, but you did eventually decide
imagine whatever movie you like, but
i think the movie would be a really cheesy teen drama
something along the lines of ‘five feet apart’ or midnight sun’. definitely something with some big upstanding issue in their romance
either way, when the movie hits a romantic climax (like the first kiss or something)
he looks at you
the way the artificial light from the screen lights up your features makes him question if you’re a human being and not an angel or sparkling fictional being
the way that your eyes are lighting up with an odd mix of joy and sadness
everything fell perfectly
he wanted to kiss you right then and there, and though he had been wanting to kiss you since the end of your second date
sadly, he was doubting whether or not this was the right moment
what he didn’t know (or notice, rather) was that you knew he was looking at you
and you decided to take the initiative
so you turned his head to face you once you redirected your attention and he turned away blushing
you leaned up and kissed him
slow, sweet, passionate and a little shy
it only turned more delicate when he cupped your cheek in his big calloused hand
the feeling made you lean in a little more
once you two had to break away for air, you two stared into each others eyes
you decided to peck his lips once again
he chuckled a little, but nonetheless, he draped his arm over your shoulders and you laid your head on his shoulder
overall, the kiss?
gorgeous. perfect. ten out of ten.
it was very experienced, too, so there were no worries there.
the gentleness of the experience was something that the both of you envied from other couples
and you two achieved that
ahaHA. you thought that dadchi over here would be the first person to initiate the kiss?
think again! he would be too caught up in if his s/o wanted to kiss him, change my mind-
Asahi Azumane
this big teddy bear
he would most definitely go for someone gentle and kind
he is shy bby, so he might choose someone fairly social
but also aware and not overbearing
he just wants love-
as for the kiss, i find that the kiss would probably happen at school
just the one off chance that he got bothered by the gangster comments
sooo
it was getting to be between hours (class and lunch), and he was hiding in a closed off area of the school
he had texted you that he might be a little late to lunch
and the message scared you
this boy hides what he is feeling, so when he sends a text, that was code for ‘come find me in our spot i’m sad and need comfort.’
but like i’m crying just writing that like-
so with that knowledge, you let your friends know that you’re gonna be a little late to lunch
and once the final seconds of the period hit, you were out the door
you immediately ran to the quiet area
and hugged your gentle giant boyfriend
no words needed to be said, but he did lean into your touch
eventually, you knew that you needed to say something
this boy needs reassurance, and you have just that
you tap his shoulder and tilt your head to the floor
and the two of you sit next to each other
you have your hand over his that’s resting on the ground
and though the silence is comforting, you know words are what need to be used here
so you speak
“you know i love you, right?”
cue his nod
“you know that i don’t think you are anything even remotely close to dangerous, right?”
stillness, but a hesitant nod
“so if i were to tell you that what those people are saying isn’t true, would you believe me?”
he nods
silence looms yet again, and he scoots closer to you
you do the same, and grip his hand to which he responds
after a few minutes of calm quiet, you look up at asahi
he has his eyes locked on the old wall
and you can’t help yourself
you lift your hand and tilt his head so his eyes can meet yours
you start to lean up to kiss him with a comforting smile on his face
and as he visibly relaxes, you kiss him
it’s not too long, not too short
but it was exactly what he needed, and he didn’t know it
the kiss itself was very shy, though
as much as you would’ve liked to say that you were 100% confident in your kiss, you weren’t
but that’s okay with asahi and yourself
you two wouldn’t have traded a kiss so loving and soft for the world
you pull away with a slightly bigger smile, and asahi’s face is red
you’re blushing too, but when he flashes you a small smile, you turn even redder
eventually you two settle and go to lunch
so, overall, the kiss is very comforting and soft
it isn’t very long, but it doesn’t border on a peck, but you know that it didn’t cut your breath off too much
it wasn’t very confident, but due to the softness, it was very clean (again, for lack of a better word)
10/10, softest kiss with the softest boi
Nishinoya Yuu
let’s get one thing straight
this boy is whipped for you and everyone knows it
and it’s all due to your personality
so your appearance probably wouldn’t matter much to him
someone kind, chivalrous and very intelligent is who i think he’d go for
otherwise, the kiss would probably happen, yet again
AT A VOLLEYBALL GAME HOLY SHI-
seriously though, whether it was a practice game or not, doesn’t matter.
anyways
i imagine that karasuno is at training camp
(and we’ll just pretend that things worked out better for them in the games)
either way, they are in the second set
they’re riding a deuce, back and forth
tension is high, the players are starting to lose momentum.
the team managers (including you) overlooking the match are on the edges of their seats.
it isn’t until karasuno snags two back-to-back points that tensions drop and the crows start a small celebration
unlike yaku’s though, this is an immediate reaction from noya
he runs off the court and to the bench where he jumps at you and just
BIG romantic gesture, of course
YOUR FIRST KISS!
the kiss was very messy and excitable
just like your upbeat libero!
but it still held a lot of meaning for the both of you
while daichi is trying not to scream, the rest of the team is either watching in disgust, jealousy, or are ‘awwing’ at the situation
(let’s be honest, though - daichi would silently be cheering you and noya on, he just has to keep up the captain responsibilities,y’know?)
it was fast, full of (accidental) teeth, and a little messy, but it was very loving and passionate
and he didn’t want to let go
whenever you tried to pull away he’d giggle a little and pull you back in
it’d take daichi or coach ukai to pry him off you
and they’d be a little angry
but who can be completely angry when the second-year’s ‘it’ couple just had a romantic breakthrough?
anyway, it’d leave you flustered and just
reader.exe has stopped working
but you enjoyed it and noya couldn’t wipe the smile off his face for the rest of the day
general summary: unintentionally rough, but very passionate and very excited (if you know what I mean - nothing naughty)
more messy than the both of you thought, but it was perfect for the moment
ok, but like seriously-
he’d be an amazing boyfriend, change my mind-
Ryuunosuke Tanaka
let’s kickstart this with his s/o
very feminine, but also very brash
someone that knows what they’re worth but isn’t afraid to be a little (again) ‘feminine’
possibly another athlete
maybe a volleyball player...? *wink wink*
this is gonna sound horrible but
i can’t picture him OR noya having their first kiss unless it’s at a volleyball game
like, it’s not as if they go anywhere else, they just seem like the sports-kiss kinda people
ANYWAY
heres the twist
HE is watching YOU play this time
being the ace of your team, the pressure is on when your team is struggling to keep the points up in the third set
it’s a literal game of back and forth, and you’re about ready to lose your shit
but you need to remain calm or else the team morale will drop
you’ve been pushing, but after the rotation, things have been going worse than before
tanaka is watching all of this go down with the rest of the boys volleyball club
and while everyone (excluding tsukishima) is stressed, tanaka is BY FAR the one stressing the most
like-
his baby and their team are losing rapidly at this point
c’mON gET thE ROtAtiON sO MY BabY CaN GeT THe PoINt!
is what he’s thinking, though he knows that’s not going to work
(i mean, maybe it would. if he thinks that thought hard enough-)
either way, the other team calls a time out, and while they are elaborating on what to do
tanaka shouts from the stands
and that little (pfFT WHO ARE WE KIDDING-) action gave you the hope to continue the game
when the game starts back up, everyone is back on track and scoring point after point.
it’s starting to scare the living crap out of your opponents
but the boys watching the game are rooting even louder
as the game comes to an end, and your team is only one point away from the total win
you spike the ball, and the opposing players freeze
EASILY one of your most powerful spikes
and EASILY the action that leads to tanaka trying to prevent himself from running away right then and there
(though he was failing physically, daichi was holding him back by his jacket lol)
as your team lined up and left, that was when tanaka had the overwhelming urge to tackle you
(he didn’t, which you’ll see later, but you found the thought endearing after he told you)
your team is gone, the Karasuno boys team is getting ready to leave
(daichi is still holding tanaka back)
when some of the boys are gone and your team is starting to load themselves into their vehicles, you spot tanaka
you signal that you are gonna go to your teammate
“go for it! i can wait, y/n.”
when you walk over there, you thank daichi and hug tanaka
the hug triggers tears
(”you did so well i-”)
but like, seriously, imagine the inspiration and pure joy he feels - who wouldn’t be crying?
when you realize this you pull away
THIS moment is when he takes his chance
he cups your face when you two pull apart from the hug and just kisses you
passionate, messy, emotional
that and so much more
it is made up of things that can’t be put into words
when you pull away, you two are both super giggly
and hesitant to leave each other
so you spring the suggestion that he joins your team for the celebratory dinner
(he agrees)
anyway, the kiss is very much him
very brash, but very emotional, and very proud (in a good way)
10 out of 10, would recommend tanaka kisses
Chikara Ennoshita
now, this man does not get enough love
and i want to provide for you ennoshita fans
that being said, his girlfriend is most likely someone close to him
laid-back, intelligent, and carrying an amount of grounded energy
you two would probably even be in the same class
(this boy is smart, okay? i feel like he’d be drawn to his s/o’s intelligence)
that being said, the place where the kiss would happen?
ok, get this - study session
the one where he is tutoring noya and tanaka at tanaka’s house
but after that
think ‘hey, i’m hungry - you wanna get some food?’ ‘oh god, please-’
so...
over ramen after a study session
you two had just helped those two lovable knuckleheads with their studies
it was chaotic, it was draining, and you were barely thriving
though you did enjoy tutoring
and ennoshita found that slightly odd
but endearing
and it made him silently gush
‘holy- s/o is an angel. how did i get a literal angel.’
the two of you were making small talk, and discussing the upcoming exams
questions that revolved around arranging study dates and how you think you’d do
no doubt that the both of you were gonna do well, it just happened to come up
and allow the both of you to hype each other up just a little bit
just very calmly
either way, you two had discovered something that
you were hungry
your stomach growled on the walk to your house, and while you were slightly embarassed, ennoshita was gushing at your reaction
he had immediately decided to make a detour
“you can’t go home hungry, s/o. i’ll get you some ramen.”
you were blushing, but you were aware of the fact that your parents wouldn’t want to see you cooking something at 11 pm
you two ran to coach ukai’s shop and, while he was very wary since it was near closing, he shrugged it off
(you two didn’t know it, but he always found you two perfect for each other. he found your relationship adorable, and he left you two to your own business because of that)
you two grabbed some ramen, ennoshita paid (much to your mild chagrin), and you two waved goodbye and left for your house again
eventually, you two decided to settle on a bench after eating and walking became a chore
it was then that ennoshita was able to truly relax
and observe you
and see your adorable chipmunk cheeks as you were eating
and he just knew
he knew that this was the night that he was waiting for
when you were finished with your ramen and stood up to throw it away, he grabbed your wrist
very light, very feather-like, but it was firm in a metaphorical sense
you could tell he was waiting for something so you stopped
“what’s going on?”
he simply stood up and cupped your cheek
and he kissed you
it was soft, it was gentle
with it being under the starry night sky, too - oh my the both of you were in awe
easily an ironically romantic situation when you stop and consider that it was you dropping an empty cup of ramen on the concrete
you were reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck
and once you did, the cup fell and the two of you pulled away
you both peeked down at the ground before chuckling a little and pecking each other on the lips
to conclude: romantic, romantic, r o m a n t i c
this boy is so gentle, so sweet, and so loving and honestly-
the kiss was too
no other words for it except ‘slightly ridiculous’ and ‘beautiful’
#daichisawamura#daichi#daichi x reader#asahiazumane#asahi azumane#asahi x reader#nishinoyayuu#nishinoya#nishinoya x reader#ryuunosuke tanaka#ryuunosuketanaka#tanaka x reader#chikaraennoshita#ennoshita#ennoshita x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu headcanons
240 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Season 10, Episode 5 "Fan Fiction" Criticism No One Asked For
I would like to start out by saying that I did genuinely enjoy this episode. However, to anyone with any knowledge of how musical theater works, it is painfully obvious that the writer of this episode doesn't understand how musical theater works. Which I can't necessarily fault someone for, as not everyone has studied musical theater, but I really feel like if you're going to write a musical theater episode, you should understand how musical theater works, at least the very basics (though, it turns out that you can not understand how musical theater works at all and still be picked to direct multi-million dollar movies, see Les Mis and Cats)
Actual analysis/criticism starts below the cut
First of all, the writer of the play appears to have tried to fit about 5 seasons worth of content AND a new ending into a 2 act play. Forget bad, that’s just impossible (also, 2 acts??? What kind of psycho does 2 acts?)
For another thing, for a high school play, it has a pretty high production value (and, I gotta admit, my 5-years-in-theater-classes-ass is very jealous). For something that’s just a school play (a relatively small school judging by the size of the auditorium and the fact that it’s a private school) that isn’t for a competition, it has a higher production value than it likely would. Though, my experience is with public schools, not private schools, so maybe a prep school would be willing to drop that kind of money for a student-produced show.
Now, for the actual musical theater aspects of it. First of all, we need to establish some basics of musical theater. If you don't want to read about it or if you already have this knowledge, you can scroll down to the bolded part.
Songs within musical theater serve a purpose, and there tends to be a basic formula. You have an opening number to establish the world, the relevant characters, relevant backstory, and to set up the rest of the story (Think "Circle of Life" in Lion King). You'll have songs introducing characters that don't show up until later in the story (Think "Trust in Me" from The Jungle Book). The protagonist usually gets an "I want" song, where they basically monologue to the audience about what it is they want and how that relates to the story set up in the opening number (Think of Belle's song in Beauty and the Beast where she's singing about how she wants more than this provincial life, or Ariel singing "Part of Your World" in The Little Mermaid about how she wants to be where the humans are; there's actually a ton of examples I could give here). Sometimes you might have an "I am" song where the character sings about what they are feeling in the moment/what's going on in that moment and how that is relevant (Think "Speechless" from the live-action Aladin remake). If there is a primary villain of the story, they will usually get a song (Think "Friends on the Other Side" from The Princess and The Frog). If romance is a relevant part of the story, there will be a love song (Think "At Last I See The Light" from Tangled). I used Disney movies as examples because that is what I am most familiar with and because Disney musicals are a direct evolution of Broadway musicals, so you can put Broadway musicals into this formula, too. You'll find some exceptions to this rule (the above-linked Cats video talks about how the purpose of Cats as a musical is to break that typical formula, and how the director not understanding this principle is one reason why the movie flopped so badly), but, for the most part, musicals tend to be able to fit into this formula pretty well. There is also a general rule of thumb for musicals: "when a character is too emotional to speak, they sing; when they are too emotional to sing, they dance." Songs will often come at emotional climaxes in the play. Sometimes a song will be reprised for that emotional intensity (Think "For the First Time in Forever" reprise in Frozen).
The music in a musical play serves a tonal purpose, it serves a plot purpose, and it serves to establish the characters. The point is, all the songs in a musical need to serve a purpose.
And that is where this episode goes wrong.
I am going to be going through each of the 4 songs we are shown in descending order of how good they actually were.
1. The opening song was perfect, 10/10, and I mean that completely unironically. Besides being a genuinely catchy song, it serves its purpose perfectly. It establishes the relevant characters (minus Cas), it establishes relevant backstory, and it establishes the world in which the play takes place (one in which monsters exist and Sam and Dean are hunters). This does everything an opening number is supposed to do.
2. The Single Man Tear song - 7/10. Maybe 8/10 if I'm feeling generous. The song itself sounds like an emotional climax song, likely fitting into the "I am" category, maybe an "I want" song, but those tend to be bigger songs about bigger goals that the protagonist is striving for. It's Sam singing about how Dean represses his emotions and how he wishes Dean wouldn't do that. The problem with this song is that we the viewers are given very little context for the song. The song starts with chanting in Latin, making it sound like it's just going to be a song about exorcising a demon, and that is what is going on while Sam sings. If a significant event happened just before then that Dean refused to address in his typical Dean fashion, this song would make sense, but the audience of the episode (unlike the audience of the play) doesn't have that context, so I have to dock points.
3. The cover of Carry on My Wayward Son - 4/10. Even though in the episode, it is stated to be a cover, it is sung like a reprise. The problem is, this song has no relevance to the audience of the play. It was included for the audience of the episode. If you were sitting in the auditorium watching this play, especially if this is the first time you are hearing this song in the play, it is not going to have any relevance to you. There is no emotion attached. Ideally, the song should have been played at a high intensity (not necessarily high emotional) moment of the play, like maybe a fight scene. Not ideal for a reprise, but at least then there would be something for the audience to connect the song to, something to give it meaning.
4. The song where Cas is singing under the lamp posts - 0/10, seriously considering giving it a negative score. I hate this song. It serves no purpose. It doesn’t happen at an emotional or intense moment. It reveals nothing relevant about Cas or Dean or their relationship with each other. It is literally just Cas singing under some street lamps. Hate it. Get rid of it. A song should serve a purpose, and it shouldn't interrupt the flow of the play. If the play feels like it is grinding to a halt for a certain song to be sung and then resumes when the song is over, that song needs to be removed. This song needs to be removed pronto.
You know what would have been a perfect opportunity for a Cas solo? When he’s barging into the barn in Lazarus rising. You’ve got a high-intensity moment and a new, relevant character that didn’t get introduced in the opening number. That would have been the perfect chance for Cas to burst into song. Not to mention opportunity for subtext! Talk about 10/10.
Despite the total failure of the musical theater aspect of this episode, it is still a good one. Unfortunately, my background in theater and my binging of the channel from which I linked videos meant I spent the entire episode thinking about how good the play would have been on its own. Some leeway can be given to it since the audience of the episode is shown so little of the actual play. It's why I didn't go into anything about the plot. However, the songs can be evaluated, and, all in all, it really just doesn't pass.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
It is 1am and i just finished s2, so this is gonna be long and rambling and misspelled and im sorry okay?
I am not thrilled with the writing of klaus this season, can I just say? They completely undid all of his substantial development in s1, while also removing a good chunk of his positive qualities.
There were scenes where s1!klaus shined through (any of the scenes with Allison and vanya, mainly, and i was really worried abt the scenes with bby!Dave but they were handled really well imo) but those scenes were vastly overshadowed by the unnecessary cruelty? Why did they make my boy so mean this season, I am asking this question for real. S1!klaus was wild and a disaster and heartbreaking, but he was also so kind, and willing to grow as a person in ways that his siblings actively avoided most of the time.
How do you go from beautifully empathetic s1!klaus crying in response to his abusive father's suicide, protesting luther locking up vanya and later being so adamant that they take vanya back in time with them that he literally clings to her feet, to s2!klaus who seems to not care much about anything or anyone at all?? The man is dead in heaven with his father telling him point blank what a let down he is, and he still has enough love in him to cry for him, but 3 years pass and suddenly he doesn't shed a tear for his brother who just died saving their sister?? They took away so much of his emotionality and I do not understand why.
S1!klaus also absolutely would have been open to trying possession with Ben imo, and we could have avoided the intensely uncomfortable possession sequence, which should not have been played off as a joke because it wasn't funny at all, and instead just highlights how little autonomy klaus actually has- but that is a rant that needs way more brain power and research lmao.
S1!klaus also would never have hid ben from his siblings, after spending literal years telling them that ben was there with them??? He would not have done that.
And the scene where they try to save vanya was intensely ooc in my opinion- even high off his ass klaus is quick to react and jump into action- helpful or otherwise (throwing the fire extinguisher, improvising at the prosthetics lab for 5, trying to save luther in the club, running into the theater when they hear gunshots despite having no idea how to use his powers offensively, even in s2 when he finds allison at the protest) and I refuse to believe he would need to be pushed into trying to save vanya, who he has put his life at risk to save before.
The cult thing will be getting a post of its own because I have so many feelings about that whole deal but I again, am too incoherent currently.
I loved him and allison so so much, and he and vanya just break my heart together bc they are such opposite sides of the same coin and the show doesn't seem interested in exploring that whatsoever? I was a bit bummed to not really see him interact with the boys at all though. He and Diego seemed pretty close in s1, 5 and klaus have some good scenes together, and he and luther had some good interactions at the end of s1 as well, and i wish they had kept going with that.
It just feels like they were so busy with the others, and klaus got lost along the way. We do nothing with his powers except for the possession thing, like literally besides ben and the two ghosts at the very end of the last episode klaus doesn't use his powers at all during the entire season! I loved watching everyone else kind of come into their own, but that just never happened for klaus this season- if anything, he devolved.
And I think as a side effect of fucking up klaus, they fucked up his relationship with ben, and the other boys to a lesser extent, as well.
S1 ben and klaus is what i would expect from a pair of siblings stuck together for 17 years- nagging and sarcastic and judgemental but also loving and close and they work well together. They are both dumbasses who do things like play patty cake to test ben's tangibility, and decide that tossing a bowling ball is a good way to prove that ben is present.
S2 ben and klaus are entirely antagonistic; more in line with luther and diego in s1. I have seen lots of comments saying that anyone upset with ben and klaus's dynamic in s2 doesn't have siblings, and to that i have to say- people who think their dynamic in s2 is normal don't have abusive parents. There are lines that you absolutely do not cross, and comparing a sibling to your abuser is one of them. And you don't need to have siblings to know that dismissing the death of a loved one like, isn't a good thing to do? This is especially jarring given their relationship in 2019 and as children- there is no set up for this kind of behavior from either of them.
And the others were just so overall dismissive of klaus in a way that goes beyond just sibling annoyance. During the family dinner no one bats an eye when ben jumps into him, causes his body to jerk around, and literally says that he's ben?? He lies on the floor of the elevator looking like death and we don't so much as ask what's wrong? Klaus pukes out the contents of 7 fully grown humans practically and no one offers a tums, or a ride to the damn hospital?? Like wasn't diego a fuckin cop, he should know that none of this is the result of an overdose??? As far as i can recall,, klaus doesn't even use drugs in this season? We see him drink but that's it unless I'm forgetting, which is entirely possible since it is now 2am lmao. And they just play it off as jokes, we are meant to find this funny?
And just like, he wasn't involved in the actual plot of this season much, if at all, besides being a largely unwilling catalyst for ben. Nothing would change in this season if they had cut him out completely, and i really hate that.
I'm not upset at all really- despite sounding upset and writing a long ass rant lmao- the let down of one character doesn't ruin the season for me, and honestly, given how other shows have failed me this year (looking at you, the politician) , i count this season as a win overall. Luther especially has changed so much for the better, and he was probably the highlight of this season. I'm just bummed because klaus was s u c h a good character in season one, easily one of the most interesting characters, and they did nothing with him this season.
#tua season 2#tua season two#tua#the umbrella academy#tua spoilers#tua rant#i had feelings im sorry#coherant breakdown coming soon lmao#tua salt#it's not really salt but also it is? idk#klaus hargreeves
53 notes
·
View notes
Note
Michelle Jones for your ask game if it hasn't been asked yet! Xxxx
WOOHOO buckle up friends!!
Why I like them
MJ is such a boss. I love how she just does what she wants to do (reading/pressing her book in gym instead of doing the situps, anyone?) and just says what she wants to say (”Am I?” *crunches toast*). I love that she knows obscure and disturbing facts about history. I love that she isn’t afraid to say what needs to be said (”I don’t really want to celebrate something that was built by slaves”).
I also love that, in FFH, we see that she’s not just the apathetic, tough exterior that she puts on. She’s not just the no-nonsense, blunt person everyone sees. She’s also so soft!! And it’s delightful, because she can be both!! And she IS both!! And we LOVE her for that!!
Why I don’t
Yeah this doesn’t really apply. Can’t say I don’t like our girl.
I will say this, with a healthy little dose of shame--I wasn’t crazy about her in Homecoming. I left the theater like, “I was all excited to see Zendaya and all I got was like five lines? I need more from this enigma!” (Little did I know fandom got to work creating an entire background and last name for our girl, but I wasn’t here then, so I digress...) But then I saw FFH and we got to see way more or her and I was like “I LOVE HER I LOVE HER” and can now re-watch Homecoming and realize I was such a dunce not to adore everything about her way back then.
Favorite episode (scene if movie)
Favorite scene is for SURE Tower Bridge!! The way she just launches herself at Peter?? Her little nervous kiss?? The way she tells him she wasn’t just watching him because he was Spider-Man?? “I like it better broken??” Her little shy smile?? WHEN SHE TAKES THE MACE AND SAYS “JUST IN CASE” AND THEN SMILES AT PETER OVER HER SHOULDER?? Listen I can’t even stand how sweet that entire scene was.
Favorite season/movie
Far From Home cause we actually got to see her for more than a few passing moments!!
Favorite line
“I’m messing with you. You look pretty too.” 😍😭
Favorite outfit
I love her “Votes for Women” shirt!!
OTP
PETER AND MJ 5EVER PLZ AND THNK U
Brotp
MJ and Ned!! FOS Squad forever!!
Head Canon
Got lots of little ones, here’s one of them--after The Blip, Peter hugged her cause he was just so relieved one of his friends was alive and at this point she’d been crushing on him HARD for like 1.5 years at least but he wasn’t there yet so she was just like adsjkadnhsakh and he thought nothing of it.
Unpopular opinion
I literally cannot think of something to put here 😂 idk if this is unpopular but, as a tall woman myself, I’d love to see MJ wearing something other than flat converse in SM3 so she can actually be noticeably taller than Peter rather than having Zendaya in Chucks and Tom in heeled stuff. I just think it’d be great because MJ as a character would not be one of those girls who’s embarrassed about being taller than her man! (And I guess I put this here cause I saw ppl when FFH came out saying it was cool of Marvel to have her noticeably taller than Peter but like. I didn’t see it that way. I saw attempts to make her look not too tall tbh lol)
A wish
Just more content in SM3 in general?? Like please make Dr. Strange’s appearance a small cameo and make MJ’s presence a constant and important thing?? Let her and Peter grow together!!
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen
Don’t you DARE introduce a character named Mary Jane and give the racists something to run with. MJ IS MJ.
5 words to best describe them
Tenacious, smart, principled, observant, soft.
My nickname for them
I don’t think I have one?? Unless MJ counts?
---
Ask me to rant about a character if you want! :)
16 notes
·
View notes
Note
what was your theater experience growing up like? I know you have mentioned it before, but I’d love to hear more!
answering this depends on if you want the long version or the short version. But because I feel like telling it, we're gonna go with the long version.
(also I should preface this by saying I was home schooled and so I did not have any access to theatrical things through school.)
It starts on what seems like an unrelated note.
When I was a little kid (like really little, like 5 or so) my parents would always play lullaby CDs for us (my three brothers and I) when we went to bed. I've had issues with sleep for as long as I can remember, so I continued to listen to music every night until I was maybe 12 or 13 to try and get to sleep.
When I was around 10 I think, my mom's parents sent us a CD for Christmas or someone's birthday that was a lullaby CD, but it was all classical music. I loved it so it became my every night CD. The problem was, I got so into the music, it wouldn't actually put me to sleep. I wanted to stay up and listen to the music and read the sleeve of the CD case to see what all the songs were and who wrote them, and to feel the stories that the music was telling me. It was more than just a series of moms singing essentially “go to sleep” over and over. The music in this CD was interspersed with bits of dialogue that went along with the feeling of the music, and that just fascinated me; how someone could be telling a story with music that didn’t have any words.
So I started getting classical music CDs from the library to listen to during the day, so I could get into it when I wasn’t trying to fall asleep. I was primarily obsessed with Mozart, Vivaldi, and Handel, though I had a lot of other favorites too. There was also this really cool series of CDs that took the music of various composers and used them as a soundtrack for stories about the actual composers (the Classical Kids series) and I just ate them all up. I couldn't get enough.
People started to figure out classical music was just becoming My Thing, so I got a bunch of CDs for my various birthdays/Christmas and from the library. And one day my mom grabbed a CD of Die Zauberflote.
I got obsessed with it and once finished it, I kept listening to it over and over again. Then I wanted to see if there was a video recording of a performance that we could watch, because I loved the story and wanted to see how it would be acted out. The one copy our entire library system had was the Drottingholm Court Theater (1989) one, which to this day remains my favorite.
So now I was on the opera train, and I wanted to hear more. We listened to Nozze (though our mom wouldn't let us watch a video of this one; she said it was inappropriate. Also she hated the idea of a woman dressing up as a boy, so anything Cherubino-related was out); we listened to Barbiere, Carmen, and La boheme (these three we were allowed to watch videos of). After that my brothers got bored, but I didn't. I'd found my new obsession.
I continued to listen to operas on my own (and did occasionally manage to get a video or two in the house to watch). Then, because I am A Nerd, I started reading about them--summaries of ones I couldn't find; researching source material; reading about various performers and opera houses...pretty much anything I could get my hands on. All of this continued up until I went to college, which then took up the majority of my life (although I was able to take advantage of the university’s extensive library which had, among other things, DVDs of the ROH Zauberflote with Diana Damrau and Simon Keenlyside and the Met Hansel and Gretel with Frederica von Stade).
Now there's another aspect of this that contributes. I wrote a lot when I was a kid. Like a LOT. If I wasn't doing school or playing outside or listening to music, I was writing stories. Pretty much all of my old stories are dead now for reasons I won't get into. But one thing that stuck around was the desire to write plays. First I wanted to write an opera; the past few years obsessing over them made me want to write my own. But I couldn’t (and still can’t) read music, or write music, or even play an instrument. In my research, though, I'd found a lot of operas were based on plays, so I figured I could write one, and maybe later on down the line I’d find someone who could put it to music.
The only problem was I'd never seen a play. Not even a recording of one. it’s hard to write a play if you’ve never seen one and don’t understand how theater works.
I tried to remedy this by just reading a lot of plays. Our library had an entire section dedicated to drama, about three shelves big. I spent a lot of time there. I tried to figure out what made a good play, but you know, you just can't get the same experience without seeing one.
Then, when I was around 15 I think, I got my first "babysitting" gig, which was just me watching my little brother play video games with a kid a little younger than him. While I watched them play, I talked to the kid's mom (who was there so it really wasn't a gig), and I found out she was an actress that worked and volunteered at some local theaters.
I'd found my way in.
When I encountered her again, I asked if she knew of any ways I could get involved in the theater scene in town (there were a surprising amount of theaters nearby). There were two in particular that needed volunteers, so she connected me to some people. I got to know the staff at the theaters, help out in the box office, do some backstage stuff, usher, and occasionally help the actors with their lines and blocking. But the best part was I got to see a ton of shows for free by virtue of being a volunteer. During the next two summers, I was seeing a show almost every week, sometimes multiple times a week. It was glorious.
I also got to be involved in some of their youth shows; I actually got a few acting parts despite the fact that I'm a pretty bad actor and horrible at memorizing lines. More fun than that, I got to help out as a sort of assistant director for some children's theater workshops put on by local actors. Every Saturday for a summer, I went to one of the theaters to help guide a group of kids (it changed every week) in theater activities and act out a Roald Dahl story that they then performed for their parents. I absolutely loved doing this; I loved working alongside professional performers; I loved being able to participate in theater on a level I was comfortable with; I loved that I could get out of my freaking house; and I loved working with the kids. (Incidentally this is also what got me interested in working with kids, which has been my profession for the past six years.) So that, plus the volunteering, was the biggest part of my theater experience growing up.
Side note, it was through the magic of theater (and one enormous crush on a fellow volunteer) that made me realize I was gay. Of course, because the managers of one of the theaters ALSO happened to be gay (and married), my parents figured I'd been Converted(tm), and that's where the positivity about theater in my house ended. But once I got to college, I had fewer restraints, so I was free to get involved in theater (though I quickly realized a theater major was not for me). I did a bit of acting (never in mainstage shows), but mostly I participated in playwright groups and events. This is where I began writing plays in earnest and actually became good at it. It helped me get over the whole not-being-able-to-act thing. Plus I got to see a lot of shows because they were either a) free or b) severely discounted for students.
I almost got to go to a Big City to participate in a regional college theater festival by virtue of participating in a classmate’s theater project, but for reasons I also don’t need to go into, I was literally the only one who ended up not being able to go.
Aside from that though (an the ill-fated class I mentioned to you a while back), most of my theater experiences have been really positive, and I’m really grateful for that because it helped me get through some tough times at home. Plus there’s nothing like the joy of being involved in live performance. Once COVID winds down and I’m done with school, I want to see if I can get involved in some of the local theater groups in my city. I do still have a connection with one theater group from my old hometown (the one that did the readings of my plays), but the pandemic really put a nix on that. They’re still doing some virtual stuff though.
So anyway that’s probably way more information than you wanted but yeah. That’s my story.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
So, I read The Phantom Of Manthattan
In its entirety. @baepsyche had tried to dissuade me, she did her best, but I wanted to wade through the sewage that book is by myself and form my own opinion on it. I mean, I had a very clear image of how bad it would be when I heard @lindsayetumbls give the rundown in the Musicalsplaining episode of Love Never Dies, but I had no idea how bad it could actually be!
TL:DR The book is a mess that makes no sense as a sequel to whatever, nor it makes sense on its own because of how it’s structured and written. It sucks, it’s poorly written and isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on. Love Never Dies is a fucking masterpiece worth of all the awards for musical theater out there in comparison.
I mean... I’ve read bad books in my life. Once upon another time I handled a blog dedicated to poor literature - both printed and online - I’ve read my big fat share of bad literature, I binged on the Fifty Shades trilogy but Sweet Jesus Christ POM makes 50 Shades look like high art!
Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?
1. Too many POV characters. There’s like... the Phantom, three different journalists two of which are there for one chapter alone and never return, there’s the priest, and a couple more I forgot. But... WHY? Why so many different POV characters in a book so short I literally finished it in a couple half hour long sessions? WHY? It makes no sense from a narration standpoint, it’s crowded and confusing and voyeuristic! Also, never including Christine’s POV you diminish her character to a paper thin token. Also, where’s Raoul?
2. Speaking of which, Raoul. Poor guy, the book shits on him from chapter 1 (the only barely readable chapter of the book), and by doing so right in the beginning the “big reveal” of Pierre/Gustave true parentage feels more of a “captain obvious” joke rather than a “I would have never guessed!”. Not that it is such a grand plot twist in Love Never Dies I mean, but Jesus, not like this!
3. Yeah, speaking of that. People shit on Love Never Dies for “Beneath A Moonless Sky” and the sex scene that never was, but this is way worse! At least the song gives you a context, a moment you can at least imagine what the hell happened and maybe even why, but here? Nothing! They don’t even TALK about that, let alone explain to the reader that those two had sex! What the fuck! Pierre just happened to be born and Raoul never even questioned his parentage! Or maybe he does, he just doesn’t care since he fullfills the nobility’s expectations of a male heir, who knows. HE DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING RELEVANT IN THE WHOLE BOOK! No wonder in LND they turned him in the abusive alcoholic, they had no material to build on in this... thing.
4. The Phantom and the backstory. I appreciate the fact that they tried to give him a past, and I really liked the fact that Forsythe took his time to even give at least a fraction of time/place context to the original book that hasn’t one by figuring out Leroux had a post-electricity Palais Garnier in mind, but the backstory for the Phantom... I’ve read more interesting fanfics. I haven’t read Kay’s Phantom, I have it but I haven’t started it yet so I can’t make comparisons, but seriously, I’ve really read fanfics retellings of Erik’s past more imaginative and fleshed out that this book.
Which leads me to...
5. Satanism? Really? Satanism? Of all the shock cards Forsythe could have dropped on the table, Satanism? Listen guys, I’m a metalhead, I listen to stuff that people have called “the music of the devil” (classic rock, blues and jazz included) for the past fifty years on daily basis, one of my favourite songs of all time is Emperor’s “Inno A Satana” which literally means “Hymn to Satan” in Italian. My parents were scared to death when I started dabbling in heavy metal because of the whole “satanism” thing, I know my shit about satanism (I actually have done my research), and let me tell you that shit is old. Like, dusty and moldy old, not just not fashionable, it’s such an old story no one finds it so shocking anymore. So... WHY? It makes no sense, drives no point in the story, it’s a damn McGuffin that isn’t even relevant anymore! It wasn’t at the time the book was published (the whole trial to Judas Priest, Black Sabbath and Ozzy Osbourne had happened like... 10 years prior the book was written so... meh) and I really hope it will never be again because... seriously... nope, it’s stupid and pointless, why on Earth it was used as a plot device I have no fuckin’ idea.
6. Darius. Dude has no backstory, no descriptor except his greed and “devotion” to money and wealth. Oh and he smokes hashish. That’s it. We’ve got no other data on him. Jesus Christ, for the antagonist of the story he surely is kind of... bland? I mean, he’s non existent! Such a cop out, like really... WHY! At least Meg falling for the Phantom and getting all jealous crazy makes a teeny tiny bit of sense, but this guy? Bland, children’s book cutout satanism aside, which is a terrible choice of moving force for reasons above, the dude himself is so terribly fleshed out (ID, he isn’t) that his motivations are unclear at best and laughable at worst. You are the Phantom’s face in the world, he has so much money that if you start putting a side a grand here and a grand there he wouldn’t notice, you have power to make deals in his behalf, why don’t you just get the money and go? Have you learned nothing by working with the Phantom? Can’t you make your own money and become filthy rich yourself so you can honor your damn god on your fucking own? Don’t you think your god would appreciate more you making your own wealth instead of pigging on the Phantom’s back and take only morsels of his own wealth? Fuck this book is a mess.
7. Christine. I mean, she’s rarely there, for the time she is she’s either a hysterical mess or a an angel on stage, and she is supposed to be the reason everything happens. In reality, it looks like everything happens in spite of her. She has no power on her own, she’s like a piece of wood floating in the sea during a storm.
8... No, I’m not going further with this. I could shit on this book for the whole day, but I have other things to do, better things to do.
I’m going to wash my eyes with bleach now.
28 notes
·
View notes
Note
You seem to know s lot about Max & I have only just discovered this sunshine but there’s soooo little info to find about him! Please share you knowledge great wise one😄
LMAOO I’m feeling like some sort of great wizard/oracle person every time someone comes to ask me about big boy Max. Look… That’s just what one year of FBI work does to you, alright? It’s not like I gather all my knowledge in the dead of the night 😂 Also, after like 6 months, I got myself some awesome FBI partners, so some of the stuff I was blessed to know too! And I have to say, there’s not that many things and some are assumptions based on FBI analysis (lol goddamn)
- Max plays the drums since he was 5, his father is a music teacher and they had (have? who knows) a family jazz-funk-band together (his dad, mom, cousin maybe). They used to play small concerts.
- Max joined an international theater group even before going to UdK (Berlin University of the Arts). He looked so happy there, around his group friends, but it was very brief, not sure about their format..
- He is such a sweetheart and so damn funny when commenting on people’s posts (cast colleagues and friends). He doesn’t miss a single joke, like EVER! And is always funny, for real.
- He always addresses various important matters! (besides today)
- He plays video games (at least, TLOU)
- He used to do little vlogs of his projects over his Fb (maybe you know this already)
- He has a bunch of little sketch videos (for Uni, probably), theater rehearsals and audio “movie” talks.
- He wears glasses since at least 2013 (same frame ‘til this day. Cutie)
- He knows he looks like George Mackay!!! (there’s a list of evidences 👏)
- He was having a walk in nature with his friend the other day, smoking, drinking tea and screaming at the birds like Snow White or smt (?) I have no idea lmao
- He has one of those exercise machines that shakes ya bum, you know? hahaa.. Right in his room.. oh man
- The day after Dark S3 came out and he started gaining thousands of followers and comments on his last pic, he was literally just chillin in Berlin, buying a falafel or smt like nothing new was happening hahah this guy..
Is always so unexpected, like.. everything around him! He’s a box of chocolate.. Sweet and surprising 😅 there’s probably more i missed, but it’s just these really small things..
(I used to share a little about some stuff (gifs for instance), when it was just me and like 4 more people that liked him here lol but it’s too weird now. People are doing video edits and tagging him, so I can’t post anything of this sort anymore, sadly)
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
no grave can hold my body down
words: 1,664
series: dreaming like we'll live forever (but live it like it's now or never)
read on ao3
Carlos dreads lab days in physics.
It was every Friday, tacking the 45 minutes that would be his study hall onto his class.
And the assignments were always partner work. You would think after two years of having him in his class, Mr. Mazzara would begin to understand that Carlos doesn’t exactly have friends.
Well, he does have friends now. He has the people in the show. But most of them are in the grade above him. The ones that are in his grade, like Gina and Ashlyn, are in the honors class. (Why they chose to take honors physics of all classes is beyond him.)
Nevertheless, it leaves Carlos alone and, by default, partnerless for all of their lab assignments.
It was Halloween this particular Friday, and Carlos wanted nothing more than to just go home, change out of his Halloween sweater, (it was black with two skeletons dancing together) and into his costume, (he was dressing up as the little March of the Falsettos character from Falsettos, respectively,) for the cast Halloween party that Ashlyn was throwing.
Unfortunately, before he could do that, though, he had to face the living nightmare that was his physics lab.
He takes a seat in the front of the classroom, gathering his notebook and pen and just hoping that someone will feel bad enough for him that they invite him to their group.
Carlos is met with no such luck, though. When Mr. Mazzara calls for people to partner up, he’s once again left to do the lab on his own.
That is until another figure appears next to him.
Literally appears. The seat next to him that was once empty is now being occupied by a certain blonde-headed spirit.
Seb Matthew-Smith had been following Carlos around for a year now, ever since he choreographed their fall production of High School Musical his sophomore year. From what Carlos has gathered, it was in high school when they were filming the original movie. It was some accident in the theatre that… you know … and caused him to be cursed to the auditorium.
He also didn’t appear until Carlos showed up, leaving them technically the same age. (Where he was before he showed up, Carlos is still trying to figure that one out.)
“Need a hand?” the ghost asks, leaning forwards.
Carlos is still surprised to see him here. So far, he hasn’t been able to leave the auditorium. Most of their conversations have taken place before or after rehearsals, or any other time he’s been able to sneak out of class.
And yet, there he sits in Carlos’s physics class.
He’s about to ask how Seb even got here, before remembering he’s still technically in class. Talking to himself probably wouldn’t go over great with his peers.
Instead, he turns to his teacher. “Mr. Mazzara, can I go work in the hall?”
Thankfully, the lab they’re working on is about speed-conversions and requires them to walk and hop around, (when are the people who make these things going to start making them with actual useful skills? If Carlos wanted to speed-walk, he wouldn’t be trying to skip gym every day,) so Mr. Mazzara gives him the go-ahead.
He gathers his phone, lab sheet, and pencil case, before subtly motioning for Seb to follow him out of the classroom.
“How did you get over here?” he asks the boy, not even batting an eye when the door passes straight through him. “The science wing is like, all the way on the other side of the school from the theater.”
Seb shrugs. “You seemed distressed, so I just… left.”
That’s another thing that’s been happening. The more Carlos talks to Seb, especially about something he feels strong emotions about, the closer he feels to the ghost. Like, spiritually closer, as if their souls are beginning to connect in a way that he can’t quite put words to. (That is, if Seb still has a soul. Are ghosts just souls, or is it the souls leaving their body that makes them die?)
Either way, Seb has been able to sense a lot of Carlos’s emotions recently. He always knew exactly how Carlos feels about rehearsal, making him the perfect outlet for frustration if needed.
Although, recently, Carlos hasn’t been talking about rehearsal as much to Seb. Nowadays, he’s been more interested in Seb’s life— or, more accurately, what his life was back when he still had one of those.
He hasn’t been able to gather much so far, but he treasures what he has. Seb lived on a farm with seven siblings. They had cows and sheep. He went to East High and was set to graduate in 2011 before he died. He was in a few of the school productions, either in the show itself or as the piano accompanist. (Carlos made a mental note to look at some of the old yearbooks in the library.)
And Seb is gay. Not that it really mattered.
Carlos doesn’t know much else besides that. He has bits and pieces that don’t make sense together, but every time he brings them up, like how he died or more about his family, Seb gets really quiet and changes the subject.
On really bad days, Seb will just poof out completely and then come back 15 minutes later when he feels Carlos distressing.
It’s an odd little relationship, what the two of them have, but it works. And Carlos would do anything to help Seb feel alive again.
Even if that means crashing his physics lab.
“Looks like you need a little help with your lab,” he smiles, gesturing towards the papers in his hand.
Carlos rolls his eyes. “I could do it by myself, you know,” he defends.
Seb just raises his eyebrows, still smiling. (The kid almost never stops smiling. Even while dead, he looks livelier than Carlos.)
He sighs, continuing. “But… if you want to time me while I do the speed things, it would be helpful,” he admits. He holds out his phone towards the ghost, but just as Seb is about to take it, Carlos pulls back. “But keep it on the ground so it doesn’t look like it’s floating in midair. And don’t laugh at me!”
“I would never laugh at you,” Seb says, laughing.
He hesitates before handing his phone over again, this time allowing for the boy to take it. Luckily, it doesn’t pass right through his hands and drop on the floor like he was having trouble with the first time Carlos met him. All Carlos can hope is that nobody is watching him through the window on the classroom door.
“What do you have to do?” Seb asks, settling on the floor and leaning against the wall in the hallway. (Carlos has no idea how he can choose to go through some things and not go through others.)
He reads out the directions. “Hop 5 meters on one foot. Then do the same for 10m and 15m. Record your speed for each distance.”
Which won’t be mortifying at all to do alone, obviously, judging by Seb’s grin.
As Carlos measures out the distance with the yardstick Mr. Mazzara gave him, the ghost kept talking. “So what were you upset about, anyway?”
He sounds genuinely interested in helping, so Carlos explains his situation. “I don’t have any friends in this class, and we always have partner labs that I just end up doing alone.”
“Well, you’re not alone now,” Seb says. “We’re friends.”
“Yeah, not that anyone else knows,” Carlos laughs more to himself than to the spirit’s comment.
“Doesn’t matter who knows. Just matters that you have me,” Seb points out.
Carlos doesn’t respond. “Start the timer,” he says instead.
While he’s hopping down to the 5 meter mark, though, he can’t help and think about what Seb said. It was true, it didn’t really matter who knew about him. Although… it could be interesting if he did tell someone about the ghost from the theater. Perhaps Ashlyn would believe him.
The thought of his friend reminds him of their party later, then of what day it was, and a question sparks in his mind. He stops hopping. “Why are you here today, anyway?”
“Your speed was 3.14 seconds. And what do you mean? I told you already I came because you were upset.”
“Well, yeah, but today is Halloween. Shouldn’t you be out haunting people, or whatever ghosts do today.”
Seb’s face falls, and Carlos immediately regrets bringing anything up.
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed yet, but I don’t exactly have any ghost friends. I wouldn’t have anywhere to go even if I could leave the theater now on my own.”
“Oh, so that’s why you follow me around all the time,” Carlos teases, trying to lighten the mood so Seb doesn’t poof out.
“Well, that and because I like you,” he responds with the same tone, and Carlos is taken aback a little bit. (Never in his life did he think a ghost would be flirting with him on Halloween.) (At least, he thinks it’s flirting.)
They finish the rest of the lab in silence. He wishes there was a way to bring Seb around to places. His friends would love him if they could meet him. But there has to be a reason he’s the only one who can…
“Wanna come to our Halloween party?” he asks when they finish up, more as a joke but hoping that maybe Seb would consider. (He at least would have an escape if anything happened that left him isolated tonight.) “You would make a great sheet ghost.”
“I don’t think I can voluntarily go places.”
“Well, then, maybe I’ll have a panic attack just to summon you.”
“No,” Seb hands Carlos his phone, leading him to the door. “Enjoy tonight. I’ll be here to hear about it tomorrow.”
And with that, he poofs out, leaving Carlos to enter his classroom alone again.
#seblos#seb matthew smith#carlos rodriguez#hsmtmts#high school musical the muiscal the series#my writing#dreaming like we'll live forever (but live it like its now or never)
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m going to tell you the story of why I love Godzilla.
When I say not to make fun of an autistic person’s special interests, I say it from a place of deep understanding and pain. For me, an autistic SpIn is like being in love, or (for the aro folks out there), it’s like being with your best friend ever and it just feels so comfortable and good.
Sooooo in January my dad mentions wanting to watch KOTM with me. Any excuse to watch KOTM is good, so of course I jumped on it. We watched Godzilla KOTM. It’s the movie I spent all of 2019 talking about from January to May. I got it for Christmas 2019 because mom knew I was going to want it as soon as the first roar hit the screen in the theater. (I took her to see it as a Mother’s Day gift, she liked it too.)
Lemme tell y’all something: when I was a young kid, my dad got me into Godzilla. Starting when I was around 5, he told me the stories of the movies he’d seen (the whole Showa era and Godzilla 1985). So I knew about Godzilla, Rodan, Mothra, King Ghidorah, Minya, MechaGodzilla, Gigan, Hedorah, Megalon, etc long before I ever saw them.
My dad said “these are important characters.”
Then he started renting the movies when he felt I was old enough to not be scared by them (age 7 in 1987) and pointed out who was who.
And my first ‘real meeting’ with Godzilla was the same as the people in 1954, when he popped his head over that hill and roared that haunting sound I never forgot, and I was hooked forever.
I loved it. I loved all of it. Dad warned me about the ending of the ‘54 movie, so I wasn’t surprised by it, but I still cried! He got me over it by showing the the rest of them, as if to go “see, he’s okay!” Then dad warned me that Godzilla was ‘the bad guy’ again in Godzilla 1985, but didn’t tell me how it ended. I was reaaaaally upset when he fell into that volcano. I probably cried about it for three days. That scream still hits something in my soul.
My favorite childhood Godzilla movie is Godzilla’s Revenge. It’s the first Godzilla movie I ever owned. I loved Ichiro’s dreams of making friends with Minya, outsmarting his kidnappers and standing up to his bullies. I even tried to pick up Monster Island using a little portable am/fm radio I had as a kid. It didn’t work, all I got was static, but I sure tried! 😋
I wanted to be an island lady like Saeko from Son of Godzilla who could call monsters for help. I wanted to be a cyborg like Katsura, except I would use MechaGodzilla to make friends with Godzilla instead of trying to hurt him.
Anyway...
Dad’s interest in Godzilla stuff kinda dropped away as the 90s hit and my autistic traits began to make me deviate more and more noticeably from my peers. I had seen all the Showa era movies, so he stopped telling stories because there weren’t any more to tell.
My love for Godzilla carried on into the Heisei era and beyond. Dad acted like I should “leave that crap behind” when I kept buying movies and talking about them to him. He didn’t want to watch them with me or look at pictures in the Godzilla Compendium I picked up.
I didn’t stop my enthusiasm for Godzilla, I just stopped sharing it with dad. I kept at it through high school. I sobbed over Godzilla vs Destroyah because I thought that was the end of the franchise, and I can’t even mention what happened to Godzilla in that movie. If you’ve seen it, you know.
In the year 1998 the rumblings for the ‘98 movie started around New Years, so of course I made noise about going to see it. Because GODZILLA, y’all!
Well, dad surprised me and took me to see Godzilla ‘98 when it came out. I had been bugging about going to see it and he kept giving me a hard no, then had me convinced we were going to a baseball game that night instead. I did nothing to disguise my boredom or hurt in the car, and it broke when we pulled up to the theater. Okay, he pulled a fast one on me and he said I did an emotional 180 spin, but it was worth it. (I still like that movie, but I don’t call that creature Godzilla. I call him Zilla or GINO instead.)
Literally right after that my dad would get mad if I talked about Godzilla. He griped that I was “so obsessed with that stupid monster” and that I needed to grow up. I was almost 18, and I had, just not the way HE wanted, I guess...
Godzilla 2000 came out. Dad grudgingly took mom and me to see it, and I finally got to live my dream of seeing a legit Toho Godzilla movie in theaters. I was yelling and clapping (as were other people) and just had a huge blast. In the car, he told me to knock it off when I talked excitedly about what I liked in the movie. He slapped down all talk of Godzilla.
I still continued to be a fan. When more Millennium era movies came out, I grabbed them when I saw them on the shelves. I got everything from Godzilla vs Megaguirus to Godzilla: Final Wars in a little Japanese shop my dad found near where he worked at the time. I was in my early 20s then. I also got some figurines from that store: a Heisei era Mothra, a Heisei era King Ghidorah and a Millenium era (Final Wars) Godzilla. Dad rolled his eyes when I walked out with them in my arms.
And so began his weird pattern of indulging my interest, but getting upset at me if I talked about it. I was discovering the online fandom at this point, so I had another outlet, but still, it used to be our thing, and his behavior really stung.
I only discovered there were more movies in the Millenium era becuse I happened across GMK on HBO and realized I didn’t recognize that Godzilla suit or the setting.
Then I missed the ending because of a very badly timed phone call. But I was like “omg more Godzilla movies...hey dad, can we go to that shop?” (And then I was like a dragon with treasure when I came home....)
I grabbed the two Kiryu movies first because a certain fanfic author in the fandom had written some Mechagodzilla fanfics where Kiryu (Kiryuu in her stories) was sentient and sexy af. The idea of the original Godzilla being brought back as a robot was amazing and that author basically took the idea and ran it to another level. She’s the reason I headcanon the 54 Gojira as Heisei Godzilla’s dad.
ANYWAY, I got all caught up on the Godzilla movies and blew up to a boiling fan girl froth when the 2014 movie got advertised.
I took mom to see that becuse dad’s Parkinson’s had advanced so far that he couldn’t go out much anymore. Mom likes Godzilla movies and sci-fi in general. While she’s not as into it as me, she enjoys them for the entertainment. We both liked G2014, so I got it for Christmas.
We watched it with dad as a family, he said it was okay.
Through 2016 and 2017 I was rattling on about Shin Godzilla. Got that as a late 37th birthday gift because it came out on dvd a few days after my actual birthday. I watched it for the first time with dad, and he complained the whole time and kind of ruined the experience for me, which pissed me off. HE was the one who wanted to watch it with me, now I wish I watched it alone instead.
2019 came, KOTM happened. So that brings me to sitting down to watch it with dad. I was excited see his reaction to the monsters he introduced me to in childhood realized with modern cgi effects and all. I love seeing things that remind me of happy times in my childhood, and I thought those memories were fond for him, too. So I watched, waiting for him to recognize Mothra, Rodan and King Ghidorah.
He said nothing when they came onscreen. I got engrossed in the movie and sort of forgot about it, but when it was over I bounced up and asked, “Wasn’t it cool to see the guys you told me stories about when I was 5?”
I thought back while I waited for him to answer. I thought back on the stories, the fun and the movies.
I thought back on how my love for this character has grown, and how in KOTM it was physically realized in that painful moment when Ishiro Serizawa looks up at Godzilla with such reverence and lays his hand on his snout. I feel like that was Dougherty telling all the fans he sees their love for Godzilla and gives them that one singular, intimate audience with the big guy through Serizawa. Because who wouldn’t want to give him a pat on the nose and thank him?
The director of KOTM understands what Godzilla means to the fans. He understands how they feel and what they want. In my mind he gave it in spades.
But my dad...
My dad, the man who taught me enough to get me into Godzilla forever, looked at me in the eyes and said, “I don’t remember any of it. They’re not that important anyway.”
“These are important characters.” Much younger dad said to much younger me.
“They’re not that important anyway.” Older modern day dad said to older modern day me.
I thought my heart had stopped and my soul fled through the floor. This franchise, these characters he brought to me with such enthusiasm, something that grew into a lifelong love, meant nothing to him. It was as if he gave me a diamond and later told me it was worthless glass to him. Godzilla was and still is a huge part of my life and who I am, and dad acted like this “us” thing I thought we bonded over during my childhood didn’t matter to him.
It’s almost like he expected me to take passing interest and then move on, but because I’m autistic and because I relate to Godzilla so much, my interest turned into love and respect for the character, what he represents and the messages he has sent throughout the years.
Part of who I am is shaped, literally, by Godzilla, something that started because my dad told me he existed. And in a sentence my dad took that root from my childhood and ripped it out because he decided it was a worthless weed.
It’s not my love for Godzilla that was ripped out. It’s the love I thought my dad felt for me when he was telling me all those stories and showing me the movies. I’m sharing this because I love Godzilla, because I love what he represents and means to me, and I thought my dad shared it with me for the same reason. This is a very autistic thing...I’m sure autistic readers can feel my love for Godzilla just by reading this.
I thought my dad did, too, once.
But no. There was no love at all like I thought there was, so I was not pouring my love into an ocean that still existed, I was throwing it into a black hole.
Dad didn’t care to remember Rodan, or Mothra, or King Ghidorah. He didn’t care to remember what all that meant to me during my childhood because he doesn’t and never has cared about my feelings.
He doesn’t care about my feelings.
He wants me to shut up about Godzilla.
I will not.
I love Godzilla. I don’t need dad’s approval anymore. I will turn 40 this year (2020) and there is no stopping what began 35 years ago. The plant that grew around the root dad planted is shaped like me now, and like Biollante I will keep blooming because Godzilla was my first love fandom-wise and that admiration and love for him stands on its own.
Dad no longer has a say.
But, my God, my dad has this remarkable ability to tell me something is important when I’m young and then claim it isn’t so many years later. He’s done it for a lot of things, but hearing him say Godzilla isn’t important after instilling his importance into me at a young age just...gutted me...and it gutted me as much as the time he asked me what I did to make kids bully me when I was being bullied as a teen.
I got bullied because I’m autistic. I existed. He said it was my fault for being that way. I was a newly diagnosed teenager when he said that. It was 1995, ironically, the same year Godzilla vs Destroyah came out.
And I was an adult when he ripped at that root of Godzilla he planted in me.
Godzilla was the last part of my childhood that he hadn’t sunk his abuse into, but he finally did in January of 2020. Now there is no part of my life untouched by his emotionally abusive crap.
It shouldn’t hurt like this. I feel ridiculous to be hurt so deeply, but I can’t keep pretending that I’m not hurt by it anymore.
I will get over it. My absolute love and respect for Godzilla is something my dad can never destroy no matter how much he tries to shit talk about it. I’ve let him ruin so many things, but not Godzilla.
Godzilla will never be a trigger for me. He is an anti trigger. On this day of April 19, 2020, I’m realizing he is the protector my dad failed to be.
To all parents of autistic kids, be careful that you don’t belittle the things you said were important when they were young. Don’t introduce something that becomes a special interest, say it’s important and then belittle it when they grow up.
Even if you don’t think it’s important anymore now, even if you think it’s silly now, even if you didn’t know they were autistic at the time and would dive in like that, it may still be important to them.
It may become their safe place. It may become treasure.
Don’t try to destroy that safety. Don’t treat it like trash.
#actuallyautistic#special interest#godzilla#emotional abuse#gaslighting#dad issues#swearing#ableism#gifs#long post#tw emotional abuse#tw gaslighting
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
10 Underrated Movies of the 2010s
1. John Carter (2012)
Before Snow White and the Seven Dwarves was even produced in 1937, Disney was considering producing an adaptation of Edgar Rice Burrough’s A Princess of Mars as Disney’s first animated film. During its pre-production stage, producers weren’t quite receptive to the concept. The story was about a man being transported to Mars, where its gravity gave him super powers, and he fought with four-armed green-skinned aliens. Back then, space ideas were the last things on people’s minds in the ‘30’s. They wanted something uplifting from The Great Depression.
Disney didn’t quite scrap the story; they shelved it for later and decided to go with Snow White and the Seven Dwarves as Disney’s (and the world’s) first feature-length animated movie. John Carter holds the award for the movie with the longest time spent in “development hell”. For the next 75 years, different directors and producers would try to bring back the classic tale of daring-do on the planet Mars. Growing up reading Edgar Rice Burrough’s novels, I was enthralled to hear that they finally produced a live-action film to be released on 2012 – and it was even near my birthday! March of 2012 marked 100 years since Edgar Rice Burroughs published A Princess of Mars. It was like all the stars were truly aligned for something great.
The movie finally came out and it . . . didn’t do well at all. It’s also notable for being one of the most expensive movies ever made – and it was all for nothing.
What happened?
Most of you reading this may even be unaware of the hero John Carter or A Princess of Mars. I find that the main issue was the problem of John Carter being largely unknown because it has been long overshadowed by Flash Gordon, Superman, Star Trek, Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica, and literally everything else that owes its inspiration to John Carter.
Superman got its concept of gravity-granting superpowers from John Carter. Flash Gordon got its human-on-another-planet heroics from John Carter. Star Wars derived nearly everything from Flash Gordon. The domino effect goes on. The further you go, the more people forget the original inspiration, and we live in a world now where people don’t really care about who did it first, but who did it best.
There’s a particular scene in the movie John Carter where the titular hero has to fight monsters in an arena. Many critics were bored of the scene, claiming they saw it already in Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones; which is ironic being that the arena scene was written almost a full century before Attack of the Clones. Scantily clad Carrie Fisher in Return of the Jedi? That’s a Deja Thoris reference from A Princess of Mars.
It can be difficult to judge a movie or story by itself aside from other derivative works. When that source material is some obscure adventure tale that is literally older than World War I, you should realize that probably not a lot of people have heard about it nowadays.
The film suffers from two other major points: the runtime and the combination of books one and two of Burrough’s original trilogy. A Princess of Mars is a rather simple tale of a man saving a princess on Mars. Its sequel, The Gods of Mars, goes into more complex matters as the evil Therns are revealed as a group of mysterious aliens controlling all culture and life on Mars for their benefit. The movie John Carter tries to combine the two, and I see why. Modern audiences are uninterested in seeing another adventure tale about a guy saving a princess. Ironically, that would have worked much better in the 1930’s, but the Disney board at the time was like, “Space? What’s that? Mars? What’s this newfangled spaceship business?”
John Carter ultimately had the unfortunate and unique experiences of being both too ahead and too dated for its time.
I still highly recommend it because the production value is amazing and it’s still highly entertaining. The score is fantastic (Michael Giacchino), and the performances are great, albeit with some cheesy dialogue. The screenwriters added more depth to the character of John Carter that really pulls some heartstrings, especially during one particular scene where he’s bashing hundreds of aliens to a pulp.Unfortunately, the poor performance of John Carter prevented its sequel and the planned trilogy from ever being produced. At the end of the day, I’m still content with seeing the world’s very first space adventure that ultimately inspired Star Wars finally put on screen.
2. Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)
I was frankly surprised when nobody else cared about a Solo movie coming out. Having read A.C. Crispin’s Han Solo Trilogy when I was a kid and having overall grown up loving the character, I thought ANY Star Wars fan would be pumped. That was the issue right away before the movie even hit theaters – Nobody. Fucking. Cared. The previous year’s Last Jedi left a sour, divisive taste in the Star Wars fandom. Toxic fans threw their hands in uproar and an entire debacle unseen since the prequel trilogy exploded. Like with Jake Lloyd in The Phantom Menace, fans had continually harassed and bullied Kelly Marie Tran for playing Rose to the point where she quit Instagram. YouTube videos nearly 30 minutes long were dedicated to bashing the film and “SJW culture” and “virtue signaling”. The entire debacle was a nightmare that makes me shudder to even think about. It was like everyone was tired of Star Wars by the next year.
Some people like to say that “Star Wars fatigue” wasn’t the thing because nobody was tired of Marvel movies. I disagree. First of all, I witnessed immediate responses to people’s reactions at the trailer. They said “I don’t care” and “Why do we need that?”. Second, Star Wars and Marvel are two completely different universes. Marvel has a nearly infinite range of various stories with various atmospheres and moods and characters. One Marvel fan can “specialize” in Doctor Strange while another mostly loves Thor. Star Wars follows the same group of characters over the same damn story that we’ve already known for the past 42 years.
Like John Carter, Solo had the same problem by being too confident and throwing too much money into its production. Solo also happens to be on the list of the most expensive movies ever made. Its poor performance and inability to make a return on the total costs scrapped the possibility of any more future standalone Star Wars films.
Further dissections of why it didn’t work out vary. Some people hate the droid L3-37 and claim unnecessary SJW content. I disagree with that too. In my rulebook, something in a story is not unnecessary unless it proves crucial to the plot; L3-37 is the reason why the Kessel Run worked. Were it not for her fanatic desire of starting a droid revolution, Han wouldn’t have survived. The idea of revolution is also crucial and foreshadows the coming Rebel Alliance. I wonder if people would have had the same reaction to L3-37 if the movie had been released years before the current political situation; if we would have just seen her as a cool, kooky and rebellious droid instead.
Solo: A Star Wars Story reveals that Han has always been around instances of rebellion, which he has tried to ignore. It isn’t until A New Hope that he finally gives in for good. I honestly don’t see why some people say it doesn’t fit with A New Hope when it clearly does. One of my favorite parts is when Q’ira tells Han, “I know who you really are.” From the trailer, you would expect her to say “A scoundrel.” But in the film, she says, “The good guy.” The film cements the idea that Han has always tried to look and act cool but deep down he gives in to doing the right thing, which separates him from the other scoundrels at the cantina. It’s because of this adventure that he ends up helping to blow up the Death Star later on.
Also, like John Carter, the score is absolutely fantastic. I could go on about it but that would derail the topic for another time.
3. The Gift (2015)
I ended up seeing this movie on a whim by myself after someone bailed on me at the last minute to hang out. I had nothing to do but wanted to do something and checked what was playing in theaters at the time at my local theater. The synopsis hadn’t told me enough about what was really going on while at the same time enticing me.
Jason Bateman though really surprised me in this role.I really don’t want to give anything away other than what you can find on the basic synopsis. Jason Bateman is married to Rebecca Hall and the two share a completely content life, until an old school friend of Jason’s starts visiting them. Joel Edgerton plays the school friend, and it’s quite amazing that he both wrote and directed this film too.
4. Prisoners (2013)
This movie was great – and absolutely nobody talks about it. I recall wanting to see a movie with my mom around fall of that year. We realized there was really nothing interesting in theaters. It was a lull where there was nothing really interesting playing. No blockbusters and no Oscar buzz. We chose Prisoners solely based on the fact that we like Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal, and I guess we also gathered the general sense that it was a mystery.I became glued to the screen during the entire movie.
The story revolves around Hugh Jackman’s daughter supposedly abducted by Paul Dano, who plays a mentally ill suspect. Jake Gyllenhaal plays the detective tasked with finding the daughter. With Paul Dano being unable to articulate his thoughts, everyone is left distraught on how to solve this case. Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal take drastically different routes in trying to find the girl.Out of everything on my list of underrated films here, this was the most nail-biting. Highly recommend. That ending. Whoo.
5. Source Code (2011)
This movie is a real mindbender. It might be so much of a mindbender that it’s the reason why people didn’t talk about it more. They probably just thought, “Huh?” and wanted to rewatch the previous year’s Inception again instead.Jake Gyllenhaal is on a mission to find a bomber on a train in a computer simulation. That’s how it starts at least. . .
Another movie I probably shouldn’t explain too much, but it explored themes about a post 9/11 world and the nature of self.
6. The Big Short (2015)
This movie was a hit and then everybody forgot about it. Heck, I know a bunch of you didn’t even see it. I find this really concerning. Brought to you by the director of none other than Anchorman, Adam McKay directed a very entertaining but distressing take on the Great Recession. It has an ensemble cast of Brad Pitt, Steve Carrell, Ryan Gosling, and Christian Bale.
The movie manages to translate complicated, bullshit concepts in Wall Street into layman’s terms. Every performance delivers, yes, but it was also staggeringly prophetic in what would come a year later in the 2016 election – “I have a feeling, in a few years people are going to be doing what they always do when the economy tanks. They will be blaming immigrants and poor people.”
This movie should have seriously started a riot. But it didn’t. Watch it.
7. Spectre (2015)
Many Bond fans hated Spectre, and it’s often compared to the supposed high-and-mighty Skyfall. I beg to differ. Spectre brought back the fun in Bond without also resorting to the really obnoxious misogyny. The Daniel Craig era of Bond films went back to Ian Fleming’s original intention of Bond being more of a “blunt instrument” than the tongue-in-cheek action hero he came to be known in the film series. And that’s okay. But you can’t help but be bored once and a while by the recent trend of “making things gritty in the new millennium”. Spectre brought back the evil Blofeld, Bond’s nemesis. Fans hated it because this movie implies that every other Daniel Craig movie has been tied to Spectre, ruining the standalone nature of Skyfall and feeling like Spectre was a shoe-in.
This situation requires a lot of explaining, but I’ll be brief.
The creative entities of Spectre and Blofeld were tied up in a copyright battle for almost half a century. Back when Ian Fleming was still alive, he was working on a script for Thunderball with a screenwriter named Kevin McClory. Long story short, there was a dispute on who created Spectre and Blofeld – Fleming or McClory. McClory won the dispute and MGM (the producers of the Bond films) were prohibited from using the names and characters of Spectre and Blofeld.
The last time we officially saw the character in name was in 1971’s Diamonds are Forever. Blofeld made a cameo in 1981’s For Your Eyes Only but was never mentioned by name, but you knew it was Blofeld because he was always the man with the white cat. McClory did eventually make his own version of Thunderball in 1983’s Never Say Never Again, which was an unofficial Bond movie yet it still starred Sean Connery (crazy, I know).
Fast-forward to when the Daniel Craig era started in 2006 with Casino Royale. Spectre and Blofeld were still under copyright protection of McClory. Instead of using the name Spectre, the writers had to come up with another Specter-inspired evil corporation. So they came up with “Quantum”, the evil company behind the plots of Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace.
BUT THEN, the McClory estate officially settled the matter with MGM in 2013, and Spectre and Blofeld could now be used. The writers jumped on it and that’s why to some Spectre feels like it was a shoehorned at the last minute.In my opinion, Skyfall had more issues being a standalone film. The villain Silva was supposed to be working alone and yet somehow create all these elaborate, time-sensitive plots that was just too much for one man with maybe a few henchmen to pull off. In Spectre, it’s implied that Silva used Spectre’s resources to help him plan his revenge. This would realistically make more sense. After all, it’s in the name: SPecial Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge, and Extortion. One would go to Spectre in order to enact revenge on someone if one didn’t have the means or resources.
And the whole Quantum being a part of Spectre thing – so what? Quantum was meant to be the same thing anyway. Lastly, there is some dispute on to the nature of Blofeld’s relationship with Bond. Bond suddenly has an evil foster brother now? Some complained about it. I thought it was fine. It gives a reason for Blofeld to go out of his way to torture Bond rather than just shoot him, which is a point always parodied in Bond spoofs. So again, it actually makes sense.
I thoroughly enjoyed Spectre. It was virtually not misogynist out of the new Bond films. It treated the main girl, Madeline, very well, as well as the “other” girl Lucia. Yeah, some of the action is dumb and more out of spectacle than realism. It’s still done with the same wit and style of the old Bond films.
8. Shazam! (2019)
Yeah. I get it. Everyone’s tired of the god-awful, insipid DC Cinematic Universe (except for Wonder Woman), which pales in comparison to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But Shazam! was finally a very fresh, funny, and lively DC movie. What makes it stand out to me was how it ended up revolving around the main character’s friends standing together with him, rather than just simply being an origin story of one superhero. Nothing felt like it fell flat. The humor was spot on. The action was good. You had a really pained, terrible villain. Some of the plot may be simple but it had a satisfying ending. Shazam! has the same kind of energy as Spider-man: Homecoming, but by doing its own thing and having its own theme of what a family really means. It revels in the genre by literally putting you in the shoes of a child’s wish fulfillment.
9. Safety Not Guaranteed (2012)
I saw this movie on a whim on Netflix. Nobody has made any fuss about it. I think it was fantastic. It’s a quirky sci-fi comedy with Aubrey Plaza playing a newspaper reporter investigating an ad someone put in the classifieds asking for a time travel companion. She goes along with two other co-workers, played by Jake Johnson and Karan Soni (who later becomes the taxi guy in Deadpool). I have to be honest – I don’t find Jake Johnson that funny. In most things I’ve seen him in, I feel like his reactions are forced. But his deadpan deliveries in this movie are on the spot. Mark Duplass was still relatively unknown at this time, and played the oddball guy who placed the ad and firmly believes he made a time machine.
The entire movie only costed $750,000! Movies today need to spend over $10 million in order to try and make something as compelling as this. This movie alone influenced the modern indie film industry by combining forces with Netflix. Maybe Netflix and chill wouldn’t have been a thing if it weren’t for this movie.
10. The Nice Guys (2016)
I saved my personal favorite for last. The Nice Guys is my favorite underrated movie that I have seen this past decade. It has everything I love in a buddy film; wit and style. Written and directed by Shane Black, this movie has some real zingers and hilarious deliveries. Ryan Gosling plays a jittery private detective, who unwillingly teams up with Russel Crowe, who beats up people for a living.
The story revolves around a missing girl who is a key witness to a grander conspiracy involving the automobile industry. This is one of those movies that never fails to make me laugh. I can rewatch the same scenes over and over and still crack up with laughter. My only gripe is that the final confrontation can be a bit unrealistic at times, which can be close to breaking that border of “Okay, is this witty satire like Coen Brothers or just outright comedy sketch like The Naked Gun?” So to me it felt a little imbalanced in the last quarter. Still, the rest of the movie really hits the right marks.
#ryan gosling#john carter#movies#theaters#brad pitt#steve carrell#sci-fi#movie#onmovies#film#oscars#shazam#shazam!#james bond#spectre#ian fleming#aubrey plaza#star wars#solo: a star wars story#solo movie#han solo#prisoners#edgar rice burroughs#barsoom#mars trilogy#a princess of mars#pulp fiction#disney#unederrated
71 notes
·
View notes
Note
so I was late to asking u things and I don't want u to have to repeat yourself so answer all the questions in the thing that you haven't already answered thank u 😌
the way I had to pull out my laptop to answer these bc I couldn’t keep them straight on my phone clipboard................ fdskjfsdkj I think I’m gonna put most of these under a read more so they don’t take up too much dash space. thank u!! <3
zinc white; how are you really feeling today? no one-word answers please!
honestly I’m great! it is currently almost 2 in the morning but my day was nice, I got some new clothes, did my laundry, made a good dinner...good vibes all around, loving it for me rn
yellow ochre; name an artist/band whom you just discovered & can’t get enough of!
I haven’t really listened to a lot of new music lately dkfjskj I think the most recent new artist I started listening to was orville peck?? but that was back in like february
naples yellow; where do you feel most at home?
uhh when I’m at home. yes I’m a homebody <3
raw sienna; with whom do you feel most at home?
truly it’s with the thots I just feel so at ease
golden ochre; describe the relationship you have with your closest friend.
it’s just easy, u know? like no matter what we’re doing, even if we’re just vibing on our own together, it’s nice. I can tell them absolutely anything and it’s not weird and I don’t have to force it out at all
cadmium orange; what do you like to do on your days off?
ok first I always see if any of my friends are busy fkdjsfkj and if they aren’t I see if they wanna just chill or w/e but otherwise just like. turning some music up and sitting in my room with a book/a couple movies I love is ideal for me on a day off. I am very simple I just like to chill
orange lake; do you have anyone you can turn to when you’re sad?
yes! there are two whole people in this world that I spill absolutely everything to bc I trust them with my life and esp when I’m sad bc they always make me feel better. talking to them when I’m having A Day is like I vent and instantly I am normal again. they know who they are I’m sure but for transparency’s sake, it’s u (robin) and maya, no one else gets to unlock my tragic backstories <3
titans; do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings?
relaxing evenings!
shakhnazaryan red; are you currently binge-watching anything?
actually I am currently rewatching cycles 1 through 22 of america’s next top model, I’m on like cycle 5 rn I think. having the time of my life, thanks for asking
red ochre; are you more right-brained (creative) or left-brained (analytical)?
I am very much more into creative endeavors, like work-wise, but I feel like the way I think about things is much more analytical. like I prefer Making things, writing or various crafts or what have u, but even when I create I think about the things I’m doing like analytically?? so ig left-brained
burnt sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it?
boy with squirrel by john singleton copley. I love him
english red; what animal do you relate to most?
interesting question! I have no idea. maybe birds? like a finch, maybe. they seem like they have fun
cadmium red; do you have a “type” when it comes to a significant other?
this one is hard for me to answer bc like. I truly have no idea what a “type” is idk if that’s an ace thing or what. no? maybe? all the people I’ve had crushes on have been vastly different, in terms of like physical looks so probably not actually. I’m not attracted to muscular people tho bc I don’t think they have feelings <3
carmine; what does your ideal second date look like?
once again I have never pictured a date. I just want to hold hands! I think for the ideal first date question I said it just had to be going somewhere where we could Do things together, like walking around a museum or going through shops downtown or something, and that does still apply here, but for the sake of shaking it up, uhh...idk maybe staying in and watching a movie. like not at a theater no one needs to know my business like that but like. at a House. whoever’s, I’m not picky, again ideally I just want to hold hands.
madder lake red; would you ever kiss someone (or accept a kiss) on a first date?
yes. literally if the first thing u do is kiss me I am okay with it. I’m 23 someone just take the shot and kiss me already I’m going crazy over here
quinacridone rose; what’s something you’re really looking forward to?
really looking forward to the holidays personally I got everyone some really good gifts this year and I can’t wait to hand them out. also my copy of 13 storeys is supposed to finally ship out this week, for real this time! so that’s exciting too
violet rose; what does your dream house look like?
u know that idealized house with the yellow paint and the white trim? yes. just small and cute and homey
violet; is there any place in particular you’d like to settle down?
I guess not?? I’d like to be somewhere near my mom bc she’s important to me but like. as long as I’m living with someone I love it doesn’t really matter where I don’t think
blue lake; what would you like to do/accomplish before you settle down?
uh. settling down to me equates to like falling in love and living together so honestly that could happen any time. I need to get a job before we live together so I can like Help Out but like. really any time
cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to?
I have not been to a lot of places! I’ve been to new york, and san diego, and like. phoenix outside of where I live so. actually if I can include like buildings in places I would like to say that one opera house I went to in new york. I learned I wasn’t a fan of operas BUT I also learned those chandeliers were cool as hell
ultramarine; when was the last time you were in a good mood? do you know/remember what sparked it?
I’m usually in a good mood, I think? my baseline mood is genuinely just like. happy/chill, pero I think the last time I felt Euphoria (tm) was a couple days ago when my mom and I made a really nice dinner together and my brother was there and we just played board games all night
blue; what’s the most recent dream you remember?
I have this recurring habit of waking up from dreams but only barely so when I fall back asleep it feels like I just woke up within the dream? anyway the last one was like that but in one of the times I ‘woke up’ I looked out the window and instead of outside there was like this. static photo of buffalo grazing in open fields?? and it was like green screened kinda, so when I move the image moved with my line of sight it was weird. that’s how I knew it was a dream and woke myself up again, only to immediately fall back asleep and feel like I was waking up from a dream within a dream again
bright blue; what does your dream family look like? any kids or pets? how many of each?
I think living with friends would be cool. like I want to have a significant other I live with but also if we lived with other friends that would be fun. kids, maybe! would be something I’d have to discuss with whatever partner I have in the future. if yes to kids, max two. also I don't want babies, preferably I would adopt older children. pets absolutely, however many doesn’t matter. I’m open to just living in a house with the love of my life and like twelve dogs, that’s ok with me
blue cobalt; do you like your name? would you give yourself a different name if you could?
I do like my name! I think it’s nice and it feels like it fits me. I don’t think I’d change it ever, but if I did I think maybe I’d go with jude bc yes I do love to project <3
prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent?
it’s a tie between suntan lotion and the lumber aisle of any hardware store
azure blue; what’s your favorite type of tea, if any?
vanilla rooibos tea supremacy!
turquoise blue; if you could start a garden, what would you plant?
lots of flowers, first of all. also some kitchen herbs. maybe some fruits!
cerulean blue; if you were guaranteed to have a viewership, would you start a youtube vlog?
yes <3 I want to force people to listen to my pretentious horror opinions and get paid for it
glauconite; describe your body without using any negative adjectives.
look I just have to say it: I’m hot. last night I took a photo and saw my nose from the side and went “omg who IS she” like it’s cute. I’M cute. I’ve seen my ass in the mirror and nothing can top it, sorry
yellow green; picture yourself walking in a field. what do you see & hear in this scenario?
all I’m getting is those scenes from horror movies where eerie whistling starts and like birds start going crazy
green light; are you in a comfortable place in life? if not, what do you think might make it better?
I think so?? I’d like to be more financially secure, pero. I think for the most part yeah I’m alright
green; name three countries you want to visit; do you have any actual plans in place to visit any of them?
ireland and greece for sure, ireland is the one I have most planned out in my head. ig maybe england for the third one, just bc I know my mom wants to go and also I’m very bad at geography so I don’t know what counts as a country. I had to look all these up, I do want to visit them tho, genuinely! esp ireland
emerald green; do you speak any languages besides english? are there any additional languages you want to learn?
the one I’m most fluent in is spanish! and I’m still cracking along at russian, currently I can hold a conversation with like a 4 year old and we can understand each other, it’s pretty cool. I really wanna get into learning irish!! I have a few resources downloaded onto my phone I just haven’t gotten around to it yet
oxide of chromium; what’s your favorite book?
a little life <3 yes I hate it when things are sad just to be sad yes this is my favorite book I contain multitudes
mars brown; what’s a movie that always puts a smile on your face/makes you laugh?
the burbs! I’ve seen it so many times but it always hits
burnt umber; what’s something you plan to do before the day is over to take care of yourself?
the day IS over it’s like two thirty am now but uh. drink some water before I sleep probably
voronezhskaya black; what or who is your go-to outlet for when you need to vent?
I post the “kirby’s fucking pissed” meme on twitter and then I ask u (robin) if I can yell for like five minutes and then I feel valid and then I am normal again
payne’s gray; describe your aesthetic?
it’s a little bit jock and it’s a little bit 1980s skater boy but the best way I can really Describe it is just “gay”
4 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
soopersara
Zutara Scribbles
arianators-7
Ari🫧
23souls-blog
grievous thoughts
ssrrhhsworlds
Sarah'sWorld
jyotishivikash009-blog
Untitled