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softgrungeprophet · 4 years

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have now read (almost) all of wyatt wingfoot’s actual comic appearances, can say with great confidence: a lot of them are pretty bad

only one was so bad i stopped reading after like, one issue (that was earth X, an alternate timeline) though to be fair i also have not even bothered to read the most recent issue of slott’s run because that’s also bad, but i know generally what happens and my verdict is: it sucks

anyway my personally most-enjoyed wyatt appearances in chronological order:

-OG meet-cute in 1966 aka Fantastic Four #50 thru #61 which includes their first meeting, and wyatt’s adventure with johnny in africa... this is also the first appearance of black panther i think. it’s definitely dated but surprisingly tame compared to the 70s-80s comics and there are some real good moments... wyatt is immediately ready to throw the fuck down for johnny and he is tall and handsome.

Prefacing this with: I’m white, but I wanna point out some shit before I actually continue the list.

Here i have to note that anything from 1970-2000 has a 50/50 chance of coloring wyatt real badly, even in the digital recolors, with only a few exceptions. The worst offender is in the early 90s in Sensational She-Hulk but that is NOT on my list because it’s bad. Most of the comics on this list, especially as we get into later and better-done comics, do not have red skin because there seems to be a correlation between bad art and bad story, but there are a few sprinkled in here with questionable pink-to-red coloring choices, particularly around the issue 200-somethings of Fantastic Four, and in general around the 70s and 80s.

I also wanna add here that around 1973, after stan lee had stopped writing fantastic four, after repeated statements to do with wyatt’s Comanche heritage (aka a real tribe in OK), gerry conway introduced “Keewazi,” a completely fake made-up tribe which then completely supplanted all but a few mentions of wyatt being Comanche (that being like, a brief comment implying his dead ancestors were comanche but that he is “keewazi”) with only one exception for an errant “Konohoti” (also made-up and in a bad comic that i won’t be recommending anyway) Said conway comic is not on my recommended list, either, but it has a notable line in which wyatt says he feels like he’s known johnny since before he ever met him, which i think about constantly...

Also, (and this is from me googling things to get better understandings of IRL stuff, as i read my way through f4 comics, so it’s by no means an expert’s words and i am still just a white person trying to get context) there are many mentions of Wyatt being on the reservation, of his family living on the reservation, teaching on the reservation, the tribe’s land being taken by oil companies, etc. but Oklahoma does not have reservations the way other states do and has not for decades. It also sounds like Wyatt becoming chief based only on being the previous chief’s grandson is pretty unlikely, but that’s a thing in the comics too.

There are a lot of inaccuracies and stereotypes in almost all of Wyatt’s appearances that are pretty blatant even to white-ass people like me, but some are better about this than others, for sure. So, keep that in mind even with the ones I list as enjoyable.

OKAY

the rest of the list

i’m just kinda doing a semi chrono order rather than “best to worst” order

-there’s SOME stuff from Fantastic Four #269 thru #280 that i liked but i really could not tell you specific issues and the way wyatt and jen meet is really not well done. i remember kinda liking the arc about central city being transported to the future, in which wyatt has a pretty brief appearance... but overall I just really don’t like John Byrne’s writing so ehh can’t really recommend but some of it’s like, fine

-Marvel Fanfare (1982) #37 [B Story] is pretty cute and brief. involves a double date between reed/sue and jen/wyatt with johnny as the fifth wheel, and also time travel. and arm wrestling. It’s not heavy on Wyatt but it’s cute in general.

-Marvel Graphic Novel #18 (the Sensational She-Hulk) is like............. i’m VERY torn on this. i think overall it has a lot of fun elements but as always with john byrne there’s plenty of bad mixed in, both in terms of sexualizing shulkie, byrne thinking he’s funnier than he actually is, and a bad scene w/ wyatt but it has some really cute moments too. it’s a real mixed bag, man. the infamous “she-hulk carries wyatt under her arm” scene is from this one... long and short is “shield captures she-hulk and wyatt, and they bust out.” Less racist than wyatt’s appearances in the following sensational she-hulk run john byrne did after this, which is NOT SAYING A LOT because wyatt’s appearances in that comic run were pretty fucking offensive. if you like jenwyatt i guess read this, like, it’s fine, but... eh...

-She-Hulk: Ceremony (only 2 jumbo issues long) is another one I’m veeeerrryyyy torn on but RIGHT off the bat i will say it is worth more than the weight of all john byrne’s wyatt scenes combined. The pacing is kind of really weird, it’s got a lot of odd mystical native stereotypes in it... but it’s got really nice art though and mcduffie gives wyatt i think some of the most depth/nuance of any of these comics... he and jen are both equally important and treated as complex characters from the very first page to the very last... it’s one of those comics where i can’t say, “read it despite its flaws” because I just... don’t know. and it’s a comic which has had almost no impact on the works that followed, but at the same time it does have some really nice stuff for both jen and wyatt’s characters. this is the one where wyatt and jen almost get married and wyatt almost goes to law school. anyway I personally really liked it despite its flaws and it seems more researched than some other things but it’s definitely still lacking in some of its approach to indigenous stuff. dwayne mcduffie being black i think does give it a little something that it would otherwise lack, if it had been written by a white dude like all the other things.

-Marvel Graphic Novel #62 (Ka-zar: Guns of the Savage Land) based on the synopsis I read, I expected this to be bad but it was actually alright? I liked the art, wyatt’s handsome... BUT there’s a lot of weird condescending paternalism to it, wrt the indigenous groups and how they’re depicted, and i think that’s a pretty big, glaring flaw along with some of the usual caveats that come with anything relating to the savage land (including, you know, the name itself), but the rest of it is not half bad. ka-zar’s a jackass though. it’s one of the MANY stories wyatt appears in which feature an oil company as the bad guys (Roxxon in this case) but it’s one of the only ones that’s actually halfway decent.

-Marvel Super-Heroes vol 2 #5 (Treasure) short and sweet, features a sea monster, jen and wyatt on a little getaway together, and wyatt wearing heart-patterned swim trunks. almost forgot this one cause it’s easy to miss, but it’s really cute.

-Fantastic Four #394 was okay if i recall. this is when wyatt, johnny, jen, and some others go out to an archaeology dig and lyja stalks johnny. johnny telling wyatt he ought to bottle his charm and sell it... is good. everything with lyja... less good. jen, wyatt and johnny palling around... great. everything with lyja.... not great. a real mixed bag for me.

-Strange Tales vol 3 #1 i did not hate. if i remember correctly it has the same artist as guns of the savage land. it’s about the power of storytelling. i enjoyed this in particular because it shows wyatt’s grandfather as like... a human with interests beyond just being a Wise Old Man--he reads monster magazines! i liked that a lot. it’s still kinda... iffy in spots, especially with doctor strange involved, but it was still fun and i like when wyatt and his family get treated like human beings.

-Fantastic Force was actually pretty fun, I think. Wyatt is only in issues #12-16 so that’s all I bothered to read but it has this very amusing moment of wyatt saying how it’s unfortunate his and jen’s relationship wasn’t meant to work out but he treasures her friendship... while holding her hand after a date. starting on issue 12 there was some context missing but i didn’t really... care.... my reading style is plowing through random issues without ever reading the context and then going: idk what’s going on

-Fantastic Four vol 2 Listen. I know this comic is not “good” but I liked it and that’s what matters here. This is Franklin’s pocket dimension of the heroes reborn alternate universe... it’s definitely flawed, and i think it tries to cram a lot in for the sake of including classic characters, but i honestly really enjoyed it a lot and wyatt is not insignificant, though he’s not like, majorly important either. reading order gets a little fucking weird around issue 12 at which point you gotta also read issue 12 of the heroes reborn versions of avengers, iron man, and captain america. there are reading guides though, thank god. it’s fun, it’s a different take on the four that nonetheless has lots of small nods to the classic comics... a lot of people think it’s bad and like. i get why. but i think it was enjoyable and engaging minus the parts where i was forced to read avengers comics. wyatt’s actually only in issues 4-6 but i wound up starting from the beginning and reading the whole thing except the final issue cause that continued some new plot i didn’t care about from some other comic--it really breaks up in the end there lmao.... Relatedly, i don’t think heroes reborn: ashema is much worth the read; it’s like, fine, but wyatt’s five second appearance is kind of random and features tomazooma which means i immediately dislike it. like CONCEPTUALLY, wyatt piloting a mech is great. but... not that mech.

-Fantastic Four: The End. this comic... is... weird? it’s fine? i don’t know, i don’t think i’d go out of my way to recommend it but at the same time i didn’t hate it? so i’ll include it here. it’s an alternate future featuring some wild robo doom as the villain. wyatt runs an asteroid mining company for some reason. peter has a goatee. ben has like three kids with alicia. johnny rides the silver surfer’s board. it was... definitely interesting. and one of the comics in which sue has short hair, which is always a bonus for me.

-She-Hulks: (yes, with the plural) It’s a mini. I REALLY liked this. wyatt’s in like, two issues but I genuinely recommend the whole thing (it’s only 4 issues total) I really liked this comic, I thought it was a lot of fun and wyatt and jen’s interactions were really sweet. My biggest crits are that the author falls into the same “failing to write teenage girls” pitfalls as many, many marvel writers, and that stegman draws wyatt literally an entire foot too short. but i prefer this old stegman art vastly to his grungy current art. INTERESTING NOTE HERE is that wyatt’s appearances in this comic were published riiight around the same time johnny straight-up died in hickman’s fantastic four run, which is honestly fascinating to contemplate and also extra heartbreaking that i never got to see how wyatt found out considering he was almost definitely in the city when it happened. anyway. good, bittersweet as all hell on the she-hulk front, really enjoyable for me. i did not bother to read any of the hulk comics preceding it for context and i don’t think you need to, to understand it.

-Captain America Corps --This comic is.... something. wyatt is only in the last two issues in a minor role but the whole series is again only 5 issues and I honestly really enjoyed it? Though I think it tripped over itself in a few places. It involves time travel, captain america, an alternate 21st century which would be heavy-handed if it weren’t for trump. I think it gets its message a little tangled up in parts, especially near the end with the femazon whatever bullshit (so close to talking about white women’s privileges), but overall it was a fun little AU mini-series, with some flaws. it also implies that wyatt goes on to become the president which is the funniest thing i’ve ever read. he would hate that so much, man

-FF vol 2. not fantastic four. FF. just the initials. WITH A CAVEAT. Okay. Wyatt is in issues #3-4, 8, and 16. This one is a tough one, though. This series. I like the art mostly. I like Wyatt’s scenes (tho i will pick a bone with mr fraction about wyatt’s supposed inability to pronounce french or know what to order at a french restaurant when he is multilingual and has gone to several french restaurants before) ANYWAY. Wyatt is really great in these appearances I think, charming, handsome, etc. The issues focusing on the kids, on interpersonal relationships, etc... i really like. But the rest. I do not like at all. The entire doom plot, I hated. Issue 16? Skip to the barbecue on the moon. I mean it. The bulk of issue 16 is a vastly uncomfortable, drawn-out fight scene between ant-man and doctor doom that just made me feel gross to read and just happens to be one of the only comics Victor has ever spoken Romani. So that’s... not great. The plot as a whole--I did not like it, especially not the stuff written by Allred, and I cannot recommend it unless you fucking hate doctor doom and want to watch him get beaten up for like literally 10 pages. That being said... again, the stuff with the kids? with bentley, and the moloids, and tong coming out, and the stuff with she-hulk and wyatt? I really really liked, and I thought was really sweet and fun. Oh also Wyatt looking at old man johnny and just knowing it’s him? chef kiss. So. definitely just. skip around. It’s a REAL mixed bag but there is some good stuff in there amidst the like...burnt peanuts.

-She-Hulk volume 3: wyatt is only in #5-6 and #12, really, with brief shots of his photo in some earlier issues BUT. I read the whole thing. It’s 12 issues total, and I really enjoyed it. The plot you think gets dropped does not get dropped, wyatt punches some demons in the face in the background, patsy is there... I really liked it. The art is a bit all over the place, and is not for everyone--it features Javier Pulido’s work for the majority, and I honestly... really like his work for its style and expressiveness but it REALLY is not for everyone, visually. Obviously Kevin Wada’s covers are gorgeous. The other artist who I forget the name of draws wyatt like... nigh unrecognizably, it’s really weird, and I don’t like his work as much but he does have some good spreads here and there. Colors are fantastic throughout. Again, really liked it. A little iffy on the secretary with the monkey.

-Fantastic Four vol 5 #11-12. These are the issues in which Wyatt gets shot by “hawkeye” and he and spidey hold an intervention for Johnny. I actually started with issue... 9 I think to just read the whole story, and I did enjoy that, though I will pick a fight over the idea that wyatt is a womanizer and would just toy with sharon who prior to this there was never any evidence they were romantically involved ANYWAY. I liked it. I felt feelings about Wyatt and Johnny, as well as the rest of the family. It switches to legacy numbering at one point and goes into:

-Fantastic Four #643-645 which is the rest of the story. I THINK 9-12 + 642-645 is everything.... Either way, I liked it a lot despite the fact that I’m really not a fan of Jesus Aburtov’s color work. Features the Heroes Reborn versions of the Avengers but like, empty, which was a fun nod.

-Hulk vol 4 #11 okay. wyatt’s not actually in this aside from jen reminiscing about her love life and showing like, two flashback panels of him. but. i really liked it a lot and i read the whole run based on the One (1) issue containing those panels. mariko tamaki has a great sense of humor and i found her fourth wall breaking to be actually funny sometimes instead of, like byrne’s, nigh intolerable. she also does some really solid character work for jen (which was later, of course, mangled by the avengers writers 🙄) the following she hulk series is a little less solid but i can imagine it was rushed because of the avengers comic, so, really, i’ll just blame everything on the avengers.

don’t read dan slott’s f4. i’ve read bad comics. i’ve read bad f4 comics. i’ve read bad wyatts. his run pings all of these. how do you write wyatt wingfoot out of character?! ask dan slott. oh, except #5′s bachelor party issue which I do think is fun and has wyatt in the background in a snazzy red tuxedo. #5 is actually my favorite issue of the whole run, which, to be fair, is not saying much. the first like, 2 issues and then issue 5 are really the most solid in there, and it just goes downhill from there.

cool.

anyway.

those are the comics featuring wyatt that i’ve enjoyed the most and coincidentally also the fantastic four and she-hulk comics i’ve read that i’ve enjoyed the most because the venn diagram of “fantastic four comics i have read” and “comics including wyatt wingfoot in some capacity” is a circle.

#nadia reads comics #this post is a bit of a long one but if you are curious...#comics #wyatt wingfoot

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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The 25 Best SNL Holiday Sketches

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The holidays are a special time around 30 Rock. While tourists flock to see the towering Christmas tree, the Saturday Night Live writers room is busy thinking of holiday sketches you’ll reminisce about as you put up the stockings for years to come. Some of SNL’s all-time great sketches illustrate the best of the holiday spirit or lack thereof as show’s biggest stars often shined the brightest just before the New Year.

From unlikely Santas to unorthodox gift-giving, we’re looking at 25 of our favorite Saturday Night Live holiday sketches. We’ll be going in chronological order here. There is a big dose of modern stuff in there, but what can I say? The show might be more miss than hit these days, but they really hit it out of the park year after year with the Christmas sketches.

Santi-Wrap (1976)

Very early in the show’s run, we get this classic where an adult woman (Laraine Newman) is all about sitting on Santa’s lap like when she was a little kid. The initial laugh is that before sitting down, she puts pieces of toilet paper on Santa’s leg for protection, like one would do in a public bathroom. Dan Aykroyd, her companion on this trip, seems shocked by this. Not that she’s trying to protect herself from germs, but because she’s not going far enough!

Suddenly, it turns out to be a commercial for Santi-Wrap, a festive and plasticky take on toilet seat covers. Not only do those two sell the product concept so well, but John Belushi as the mall Santa pushes it further by coming off as a complete disaster of a man who is probably riddled with disease.

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One of the show’s all-time best line deliveries is Belushi’s drunken, “Ho ho ho…” which has both defiant gusto and the sense that he’s seconds away from vomiting all over himself.

Mr. Robinson’s Christmas (1984)

Saturday Night Live has been a stepping stone to superstardom ever since Chevy Chase became a household name during its first season. In the 80s, Eddie Murphy’s recurring roles on SNL helped raise his profile as he eventually became one of, if not the biggest star of the decade. It was around Christmas time when Murphy’s spin on Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood became one of the sketches that came to define his tenure at Studio 8H.

Mr. Robinson’s neighborhood isn’t quite as nice as Mister Rogers’ but at Christmas time you have to make the best with what you have. Mr. Robinson was able to do that with a chunk of lettuce and a headless doll and Murphy was able to make the most of every opportunity he had on SNL.

It’s a Wonderful Life: The Lost Ending (1986)

If you’ve seen the 1946 American Christmas classic It’s A Wonderful Life, odds are you’ve been inspired by its heart-warming ending. Thanks to SNL and host William Shatner, we now have footage of the “fabled” lost ending to Frank Capra’s Christmas epic and it’s anything but heartwarming. Rather than end the film with everyone coming to George Bailey’s aid in his time of need and celebrating his lifetime of selflessness and kindness, it decides to give Mr. Potter a fate more explicit than being doomed to failure and loneliness. Phil Hartman pops in as Uncle Billy and not only remembers what happened to the missing money, but knows exactly who has it!

Dana Carvey makes the sketch as a George Bailey hell-bent on revenge. It just wouldn’t be Christmas without seeing him give Mr. Potter a beat down alongside his bloodthirsty loved ones.

Master Thespian Plays Santa Claus (1987)

Jon Lovitz’s characters were usually very hammy by design. Whether he was a pathological liar or the Devil himself, he always went to 11. One of his better recurring characters was Master Thespian, a scene-chewing Shakespearean actor who takes himself and his roles far too seriously.

In this installment, he would be playing the role of a mall Santa Claus.

Thespian doesn’t seem to have heard of Santa, but he’s down for the part. Finding out that there’s no actual script, he improvises and figures out the character via making mistakes and getting scolded by the Macy’s manager (played by Phil Hartman, choosing to base his performance on Frank Nelson because why not). To his surprise, Santa Claus actually LIKES children! These are notes a performer needs to know, man!

Seeing him play off the kids and Hartman is a blast. Speaking of which, one of the better gags is a fart joke that somehow proves how great an actor Master Thespian truly is. THANK YOUUUUUU!

Hanukkah Harry (1989)

Santa Claus (Phil Hartman) is violently ill with the flu, so it seems Christmas might be cancelled. Luckily, there is one man capable of fulfilling his obligations through the same kind of holiday magic. Hanukkah Harry (Jon Lovitz), Santa’s Jewish counterpart, is called in to help.

At its core, it’s a lengthy sketch about Jewish jokes and how lame Hanukkah is outside of it lasting eight days. Springing off of that, it actually makes for a really good, if a little touching, holiday story. There are definite laughs in there, but what was created to be a parody hits a little too close and becomes a genuine gem celebrating both holidays and the spirit of togetherness.

“On Moishe! On Herschel! On Schlomo!”

Motivational Santa (1993)

What started as a pep talk for troubled teens turned into Chris Farley’s iconic recurring character. Matt Foley, the thrice-divorced, sweaty, overweight man who lived in a van down by the river, crashed into our living rooms in 1993 and remained a fixture on SNL until Farley was fired from the show in 1995.

Sometimes a sketch is so successful that the writers are almost forced to bring one or more of its characters around again and Matt Foley was no exception. In one of the funnier times Matt Foley returned, he was hired to spread Christmas cheer as a motivational mall Santa, offering up this gem:

“‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the van Your ol’ buddy Matt fell asleep on the can. His children were nestled two time zones away, With his first wife and her husband, in sunny L.A. Matt woke up and realized with a chill and a quiver That he was living in a van down by the river!“

Though many of the same jokes and physical gags are recycled, Farley’s effort, from the painfully high pitch of his voice to crashing down the chimney, earns the Motivational Santa a place in SNL Christmas lore.

Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah Song (1994)

Yes, we’ve heard Adam Sandler’s “The Hanukkah Song” a million times over, but we shouldn’t let that cloud our judgement. It’s one of the first clips that pops into your head when you think “SNL Holiday Sketches” and it will go down as a landmark moment when the history of “Weekend Update” is written 200 years from now. Sandler didn’t use his time to evoke images of being a Jew at Christmas, rather he chose to praise the Festival of Lights and name-drop all the famous people who celebrate it. Since debuting the song in 1994, Sandler’s updated it for his comedy albums and standup routine and given Jewish kids something other than “The Dreidel Song” to belt during during the holidays. Sandler’s clever, original moment is about as influential as it gets for any not-ready-for-prime time player.

It did lead to the movie Eight Crazy Nights, so it isn’t free from sin.

TV Funhouse: Fun with Real Audio (1997)

It’s rare for SNL to get poignant, but here’s a fantastic example. In this animated short, Jesus Christ returns to Earth and spends the first opening minutes being ignored and shoved into the background for disagreeing with televangelists who use his name to line their pockets with donations or to justify their hatred of homosexuals. These bits are, of course, animated over actual audio of said real life sociopaths. Jesus is able to give them their just desserts with his divine magic, but it bums him out.

Walking the city streets, unnoticed by the public at large, Jesus watches Christmas-themed TV through a store window and is disappointed with what he sees. That is, until he comes across Linus’ speech at the end of A Charlie Brown Christmas and we get a final moment that’s adorable, uplifting, and pretty hilarious.

NPR’S Delicious Dish: Schweddy Balls (1998)

The dry, NPR-host banter between Ana Gasteyer’s Margaret Jo McCullen — who cheerfully admits that she leaves tap water and rice out for Santa because “Christmas foods really wreak havoc on the ol’ digestive system” — and Molly Shannon’s Teri Rialto as they discuss delectable Yuletide “balls” with Alec Baldwin’s Pete Schweddy is a can’t-miss skit. The trio makes monotone an art form, while remaining dedicated to the naivety of the characters involved. (In response to Alec Baldwin’s, “But the thing I most like to bring out this time of year are my balls,” their faces barely twitch.) It’s double entendre at its finest, and never fails to leave me in stitches.

Pete Schweddy returned in another episode where he introduced the women to his hotdogs, but having them show so much interest in putting his wiener in their mouths was a little too easy a joke to pull off.

I Wish It Was Christmas Today (2000-the heat death of the universe)

On one December episode, there was a short segment of Horatio Sanz, Jimmy Fallon, Chris Kattan, and Tracy Morgan playing a catchy, albeit incredibly stupid song about Christmas being on the way. Sanz played a skinny guitar while singing, Fallon occasionally pressed an elephant noise button on the keyboard, Kattan held the keyboard while shaking his head, and Morgan danced with a look on his face like he got dragged on stage against his will. It was silly and would have probably been forgotten soon after.

Instead, they returned a week later and insisted on playing it again despite being explicitly told not to. Soon they would start playing it during non-December months to show Christmas’ superiority over other holidays. After Simon Cowell insulted the group, he sheepishly agreed that he wanted to join them and broke out some maracas. One year, when Sanz was the only one left in the cast, he replaced his buddies with Fozzie Bear, Gonzo, and Animal while Kermit the Frog danced in a way that you have to wonder if a Muppet is capable of snorting coke.

The song still gets brought out now and then, usually on Fallon’s show. It’s even been covered by Julian Casablancas and Cheap Trick of all people!

They did sing a completely different Christmas song one time, but nobody cared.

Glengarry Glen Elf: Christmas Motivation (2005)

Alec Baldwin seems to be the go-to host for classic Christmas sketches. Playing on his iconic Glengarry Glen Ross character Blake, Baldwin (in a way) reprises the role as 615-year-old “elf from the home office” sent to straighten out the subpar work of Santa’s elves. There couldn’t have been a more perfect break in character than when Baldwin says “Always Be Closing” instead of “Always Be Cobbling” as scripted. It’s a slip-up that makes for a perfect holiday sketch, full of deep-bellied laughs.

TV Funhouse: Christmastime for the Jews (2005)

Not only is the witty “Christmas for the Jews” written by comedy legend Robert Smigel, but it’s sung by David Letterman’s Christmas angel Darlene Love. In “Christmas for the Jews,” the characters see “Fiddler on the Roof,” grab an early dinner, and enjoy dreamland Daily Show reruns. It’s an intriguing and catchy look at the other side of the Christmas season, complete with a very Rankin-Bass animation style.

Digital Short: Dick in a Box (2006)

Justin Timberlake is one of the most entertaining, versatile hosts that SNL has been gifted. A member of their prestigious Five-Timers Club, “Dick in a Box” is Timberlake’s most memorable sketch, filled with skeevy, disgusting come-ons from Andy Samberg and Timberlake, which has been viewed just millions and millions of times. In 2006, Timberlake had already impressed critics and viewers alike with his acting range in Alpha Dog, but his comedic turns on SNL solidified him as an actor. Timberlake has done a lot of impressive things in his time as an entertainer, but there are few more enjoyable (or laughable) than “Dick in a Box.”

These two R&B weirdos would return later on to sleep with each other’s moms as reciprocated Mother’s Day presents and later swear that being in a two-guy/one-girl three-way isn’t considered gay.

John Malkovich Reads ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (2008)

As quipped by the man himself, no one emits Christmas spirit quite like John Malkovich. This admission yields the self-reflexive irony of Malkovich reading “The Night Before Christmas” to the children of SNL’s staff. Malkovich, pausing during his reading of the holiday classic, asks the children about the suicide rate rising during the holidays, talking about how shooting a home invader in California is “perfectly legal,” musing about how the tonnage of Santa’s sleigh and reindeer would (scientifically speaking) burst into flames, how in Portugal their version of Saint Nicholas steals children’s toes, as well as reciting the gem: “You know what they say about hopes; they’re what we cling to when reality has left us nothing else.” If you’re in a lighthearted Christmas mood, Malkovich’s monologue is certainly one to enjoy.

Stefon on Holiday Travel (2010)

Bill Hader was highly respected for his versatility and range during his time at SNL, but it was his improvisational skills that turned a Weekend Update bit into a must-see recurring segment. Stefon, likely the defining character for SNL during the 2010s thus far, informed New Yorkers and tourists alike of the city’s hottest nightclubs – with Hader almost always breaking down in laughter as his cue cards were frequently changed from the rehearsal to throw him off.

Stefon knew how to get weird and you can imagine he’d save some fun things for the a “classic New York holiday.” Make sure to check out the Lower, Lower East Side dump hosted by Tranderson Cooper or find a club with the right amount of Puerto Rican Screeches or Gay Aladdins. Just don’t run over the Human Parking Cones.

Stefon would return with more Christmastime insight three years later, where he’d discuss a club called [loud Tauntaun noises], founded by Jewish cartoon character Menorah the Explorer.

Under-Underground Crunkmas Karnival (2010)

Good God, I wish there were more Under-Underground Records sketches. As a parody of the Gathering of the Juggalos, we’d regularly see DJ Supersoak (Jason Sudeikis) and Lil Blaster (Nasim Pedrad) excitedly talk up huge concert events that are needlessly violent and inexplicable in their randomness. For instance, there’s the Crunkmas Karnival, which features such musical acts as Dump, Boys II Dicks, Scrotum Fire, and…Third Eye Blind for some reason.

It’s just a bunch of loud humor that goes back and forth between being stupidly hardcore and being meekly out of left field. Yes, you can go check out a “dong tug-of-war,” but you can also see a special 2D screening of the Owls of Ga’hoole or meet Spaceballs star Pizza the Hut. Not to mention the return of their most fondly remembered running gag, the endless undying and dying of Ass Dan.

This Christmas-based event will take place in February. Sounds about right.

Ornaments (2011)

Every now and then, SNL will do a sketch towards the end of the show where the guest will talk about whichever holiday is coming up and awkwardly go into one of the aspects of it, such as Easter eggs or Halloween candy. In this instance, it’s Steve Buscemi unloading a box of Christmas ornaments and commenting on each one. All the while, Kristen Wiig plays Sheila, his girlfriend who appears to be more than a little off and doesn’t quite grasp tree decorating.

Buscemi’s descriptions range from delightful non-humor to outlandish and disturbing. He might make an intentionally lame joke about one ornament before holding up another and matter-of-factly letting you know that, “I put this one up my butt.”

And somehow he’s still the straight man in this bit.

You’re a Rat Bastard Charlie Brown (2012)

This sketch is centered on Bill Hader playing Al Pacino, playing Charlie Brown. The rest of the cast turns out bang-up impressions as well: Jason Sudeikis playing Philip Seymour Hoffman playing Pigpen, Kate McKinnon as Edie Falco playing Lucy (as Charlie Brown’s drug peddling therapist, causing a holiday-blues Charlie to say, “Oh yeah…I want something to take me sky high!”), Martin Short playing Larry David playing Linus, Taran Killam doing Michael Keaton as Schroeder, and Cecily Strong as Fran Drescher as Charlie Brown’s mother, all performed in front of a baffled childhood audience.

For anyone who grew up watching Charlie Brown and Co., watching Bill Hader/Al Pacino/Charlie Brown unleash the expletive-laden “You’re gonna hold that f***ing football?!” towards Kate McKinnion/Edie Falco/Lucy, and saying, “Ow, you bitch!” after she pulls it away is absolutely to die for.

Jebidiah Atkinson on Holiday Movies (2013)

For a time, Taran Killam played Jebidiah Atkinson, a Weekend Update character based on how an old newspaper editorial was discovered that panned Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. Atkinson, somehow still alive, would appear and read review snippets about other big speeches he hated.

One of his return appearances had him discuss holiday specials and movies. Every single one of them he hates. Every single one of them gets roasted. His vicious energy is so over-the-top that the good jokes land and the bad jokes still get a laugh from the misplaced confidence. Over these several minutes, he screams about how much of a depressing bore A Charlie Brown Christmas is, how the Grinch stole a half hour of his life, and how every time they play It’s a Wonderful Life, an angel blows its brains out.

This one is admittedly a bit dated with its biggest joke, where his distaste for Snoopy is so great that he wishes Family Guy killed him off instead of Brian. The horror from the audience still makes it worth it.

St. Joseph’s Christmas Mass Spectacular (2014)

Ah, Christmas Mass. The drum solo for every childhood during Christmas time. It’s uncomfortable and especially boring. Ergo, liven it up by framing it as a big, in-your-face event via what amounts to a monster truck rally commercial!

It’s a brilliant use of contrast. Take an event that is so mundane with so many familiar and shared experiences and treat it like it’s some extreme thing. The familiarity of the pastor making corny jokes that get the most minor of laughs is treated like a once-in-a-lifetime event. It shines a light on the weird tics of the prominent people you see at church and feels amazingly universal.

The SNL cast is fantastic here, but the MVP is Cecily Strong as the middle-age woman who is way into doing a reading in the loudest, most overly articulate speaking voice possible.

Sump’N Claus (2014)

Getting gifts from Santa Claus is great and all, but when you grow up, you realize how hard it truly is to be nice all year round. Luckily, there’s an alternative. Introduced via an extremely catchy song, we meet Sump’n Claus (Keenan Thompson), a pimp-like offshoot of Santa who not only used to work for St. Nick, but also appears to have some dirt on him.

Sump’n Claus sings several verses about people who have had breakdowns and would be thrown onto the naughty list. Sump’n Claus doesn’t care about that. You be you. Every December, he’ll still be there to hand you an envelope full of twenties and fifties. He’s the holiday mascot for adults, basically.

One of the highlights is how he mentions that Santa is not your friend as friends don’t watch you while you’re sleeping.

The Christmas Candle (2016)

Christmas has been saved by many different things: ghosts who see through time, an angel trying to earn his wings, a reindeer’s glowing nose, New Yorkers singing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” and so on. Then again, sometimes you need a savior for something with lower stakes.

In the form of a mid-1990s all ladies group that gives me kind of a Celine Dion vibe, we’re given a wonderful song that starts with the tale of a woman who had to get a coworker a gift for Secret Santa. She found an old peach candle in her closet and just gave her that. The second verse is a similar situation where not only is a peach candle given as a throwaway gift to an acquaintance, but it’s THE SAME candle. Yes, somehow this one peach candle is re-gifted across the globe through latter December by women and gay men who couldn’t be bothered to put thought into their presents.

Truly a miracle.

First Impression (2018)

Beck Bennett plays a guy about to finally meet his girlfriend’s (Melissa Villaseñor) parents and he’s nervous as hell. She assures him that he’ll be fine, but he really wants to impress them. Sure enough, he tries to impress them in the weirdest way by hiding somewhere in the house and speaking in a high-pitched voice in order to dare them to find him. Her parents (Jason Momoa and Heidi Gardner) are notably confused, as is she.

It’s already a strange and silly bit, but Jason Momoa shifts it into gear by suddenly being COMPLETELY into it. Removing his jacket with purpose, Momoa excitedly starts searching the house for this guy. The fact that Momoa is playing an overweight 60-year-old man is enough of a novelty, but he brings this oddball zest to the role as he starts to literally tear the home to pieces in order to get a look at his daughter’s elusive boyfriend.

The boyfriend’s plans here are both overly complicated and half-baked, culminating in an ending that’s as happy as it’s inexplicable and off-putting.

North Pole News Report (2019)

When Eddie Murphy returned to SNL, there was much fanfare. A completely solid episode, it admittedly spent too much of its runtime revisiting his old recurring classics like Mr. Robinson, Gumby, and Velvet Jones. The final sketch of the night goes full blast with his manic energy as he plays an elf eyewitness on the elf news, screaming bloody murder about a horrible tragedy. Mikey Day is reporter Donny Chestnut, looking at the destruction of a toy factory. As he tries to make heads or tails of what’s going on, Murphy bursts onto the scene, screaming about a polar bear attacking the elves and eating them like Skittles. And just screaming in general.

The best line comes from the elf (who keeps declaring, “IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT MY NAME IS!”) bringing over one of the survivors, and noting that, “This white, teenage elf girl ran out here, straight up to me – a black elf in sweatpants – and asked me to keep her safe. That’s how bad it is!” Despite this elf being right about the situation, Donny Chestnut keeps trying to sideline him for being increasingly erratic about Santa’s potential role in the slaughter and what it means for Christmas. Even as he trips over some of his lines, Eddie Murphy is so damn precious here.

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

December to Remember Car Commercial (2020)

It might be in bad form to include a sketch from this very year, but man, this joke is not only long overdue, but the acting is top notch. Heidi Gardner’s barely repressed rage is something special.

You’ve seen the commercial a million times. It’s Christmas morning and someone reveals a brand new car to a loved one. As part of Lexus’ December to Remember, Beck Bennett reveals a brand new Lexus with a giant bow to his wife (Gardner) and their son (Timothée Chalamet). What initially appears as shock turns out to be fury and confusion over what is a selfish and short-sighted decision. Buying a car is a huge deal and isn’t something you don’t tell your significant other. More than that, Bennett’s character hasn’t been employed for about a year and a half and has no way of affording such a thing. The thread is pulled away, unraveling both how much of an idiot he is and how doomed their family life happens to be.

Then neighbor Mikey Day shows up and it hits another level. Beck Bennett is the expert at playing guys with misplaced confidence who haven’t come close to thinking things through.

The post The 25 Best SNL Holiday Sketches appeared first on Den of Geek.

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grimelords · 5 years

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There is no limit to how many good songs exist! There are just so many!

My June playlist is finished, and on time too! Please enjoy all manner of bangers from Dave Brubeck, Nelly Furtado and everyone in between.

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Night And Day - Hot Chip: I’ve started a band with some friends and my friend Tiana (who has requested a special shoutout in this playlist and is currently receiving it!) suggested this as a song for us to learn and she was extremely right to do it! It’s extremely funky and probably the most i’ve ever liked Hot Chip because they’ve finally allowed themselves to be emotional and feel the most important emotion of all: horniness.

Infinity Guitars - Sleigh Bells: The other day a friend of mine said ‘hey whatever happened to Sleigh Bells?’ and guess what: they have five albums and continue to release new music as recently as last year. They seem to steadfastly refuse to advance their sound and you’ve got to give them props for that. When nobody else sounds anything like you the smartest thing you can do is double down on your own weird thing. I’ve always loved this song and am totally enamoured by whatever mixing trick it is that enables this song to start loud as fuck and somehow finish even louder no matter what volume you play it at.

Hurricane - Bob Dylan: I haven’t watched the Rolling Thunder Revue thing on Netflix yet but I’m excited to because this is a good Dylan era and I’m always down for more footage of the world’s freak Bobby D acting like a maniac. This song is a good example of how have no control over how music is consumed once you release it because this is ostensibly a serious and angry protest song about a great injustice but my greatest memory of it is for at least a month when I was in boarding school a guy in my dorm would play it every morning super loud and we would all yell the words along as we were getting dressed. Having a great time being fifteen and yelling happily about a miscarriage of justice.

Grindin' - Clipse: I started putting together a playlist of songs with super minimal or no pitched instrumentation that almost totally rely on the percussion and the vocals to carry it. Basically the Pharrell special because he did it on this and Drop It Like It’s Hot and I’m sure more songs of his I haven’t heard yet. But also songs like Lipgloss by Lil Mama, Fix Up Look Sharp by Dizzee Rascal, Tipsy By J-Kwon (almost if it didn’t have the baseline) and The Whisper Song by The Ying Yang Twins. There’s heaps more I’m sure. It was a real minimal style for a little while in the mid 2000s and I think it’s great. It gives you so much space in the mix and it’s a great lesson: if the beat is hot enough and you’ve got enough charisma to carry the vocal you don’t need anything else at all.

Rock Lobster - The B-52's: Did you know the guitar in this is tuned CFFFFF? Did you know this song is nearly 7 minutes long? Did you know The B-52s had a hit with this and then didn’t have another hit until Love Shack fully ten years later? Truly everything about this song is insane.

Johnny Irony - Bad//Dreems: I think ‘are you bleeding?’ is my favourite bit of pre-song hot mic dialogue i’ve ever heard. I love the energy of this song, and what a fun throwback it is to I guess reference Lead Belly’s ancient song about doing cocaine Take A Whiff On Me for a new modern twist on a song about doing cocaine.

Girls On Film - Duran Duran: Have you ever noticed how the bass in this song is absolutely popping off? It rocks. I listened to just the isolated bass track on youtube the other day and it’s my new favourite song. I’m having a big moment with this early eighties art-funk thing where someone figured out you could put huge funky basslines into rock music and completely changed the game.

Love - Lana Del Rey: I figured out this month that my vocal range seems to be just Lana Del Rey but an octave lower which is absolutely great news for anyone that wants to hear me sing this song in a cowboy voice in my car.

Want You In My Room - Carly Rae Jepsen: I am absolutely in love with this song and also absolutely furious at it. Absolutely in love with the way it’s written like a duet with herself, trading lines and overlapping and harmonising. The big ascending guitar line that leads into the chorus. I love how horny the lyrics are, I love the very 80s robot voice in the chorus who also wants to fuck. It’s just phenomenal, which brings me to the the think that makes me so furious: this song just fades out? After the second chorus just as the saxophone comes in? Just as it’s getting good???

Genevieve (Unfinished) - Jai Paul: It's just unbelievable how good this sounds. The bass sound. The way the whole mix seems to float around. The cuts to silence that feel like someone took a razor randomly to the master. It all culminates in this frenetic nervous energy that feels like the song could just fall apart and stop at any point. And it does! It just fades to silence and then comes back in as a totally different song near the end before fading away again.

Elephant Talk - King Crimson: King Crimson is on Spotify now and I’m comically striking them off my list of Bands I Have A Grudge Against For Not Being On Spotify. It’s always kind of surprised me that for someone who loved The Mars Volta as much as I did I never really had a big King Crimson phase. I always liked them fine, and I love this song, but I never really sat down and gave them a proper listen. Maybe now they’re on streaming that’s all about to change and my girlfriend will have to suffer accordingly.

Kids In The Dark - Bat For Lashes: Very excited for Bat For Lashes next album if this is an indication of the direction. She's always had a very hazy 80s feeling, so purposefully leaning into it is only going to be great.

CHORDS For Organ - Ellen Arkbro: My favourite lady is back with 15 minutes of rock solid chords. Something I've been thinking recently in regards to Ellen Arkbro and Holly Herndon is people who make pretentious art unpretentiously, truly believing in their process and outcomes but very aware of and fine with the fact that it's silly, useless or unlistenable to anyone who's not interested. Ellen Arkbro posted a photo of an organ on instagram the other day and wrote "turned out this was one of the biggest instruments in berlin and it was also connected up to two other organs in the same space. Despite that I ended up playing an extremely quiet version of my music. I don't really know how that happened. I will play a louder version in st giles cripple gate in london this saturday if you're around" She posts like Courtney Barnett about her experimental organ drone music, I just love it. As for the music itself I don't really know how to explain this other than if you let it it can be extremely overwhelming. It's also the closest I've come musically to Malevich's Black Square and how I feel about that, which is hard to explain properly other that to say I love it.

SWIM - Holly Herndon: I'm obsessed with this Holly Herndon album. It's just amazing though I think the marketing and a lot of the writing about it is sort of.. misleading? There's a lot of emphasis being put on the machine learning and AI aspects of it, which as undoubtedly good and cool as they are, are sort of overshadowing what's so good about this in a simple way which is that it's just choral music for the future. It feels like it reaches so far back and so far forward at the same time it's incredible.

Too Real/Television Screens - Fontaines D.C.: I really had to stop myself from putting the whole Fontaines DC album on here because quite literally every single song on this is amazing. Just when you think guitar music is well and truly dead it pulls you back in!! Also the way he says 'aaa' at the start of Too Real just absolutely kills me.

Dangerous Match Ten - Scientist: I forget where I read it but some bass player was saying she learned to play by listening to Scientist albums, and so that made me listen to Scientist for the first time and go on a long dub trail and have a very good and dangerous day where I thought “..what if I become a dub guy?”. It’s very good. I don’t know anything about dub really, we don’t really have the jamaican population here for it to have any cultural currency like it does in america and the UK so my biggest exposure is the Dub radio station from GTA III and San Andreas which I’m now learning was mostly made up of Scientist songs anyway. Anyway dub is good, please keep an eye one me and watch as this playlist evolves into me becoming an evangelical dub guy over the next few months and start calling everyone m’brethren in a racist way.

Lipitor - Longmont Potion Castle: Lipitor. This is unfortunately unavailable on Australian spotify which is a crime but if you're from anywhere else please enjoy.

A Lot’s Gonna Change/ Andromeda - Weyes Blood: I am having such a time with this Weyes Blood album. Yesterday I spent all day playing A Lot’s Gonna Change over and over and over and today I spent all day listening to Andromeda over and over and learning how to play it. I suspect this will happen to me with the entire album, it has a complete hold over me.

I’ve listened to Weyes Blood before and she’s never really grabbed me and so it took a lot of people rhapsodising about this one to get me to give it a go and I’m so glad I finally did. This album really took me by surprise, and looking back now I love the development of her sound: from her original spacy noisy thing to the bonafide soft rock of Front Row Seat To Earth to this - an expensive sounding 70s singer songwriter pop album of absolutely devastating beauty and inventiveness.

Wasting My Young Years - London Grammar: I think what's so interesting about this song is that it sounds like an acoustic cover of a trance song. I don't really know how to explain it better than that. The way the deceptively fast four on the floor drums come in, the sort of adult-contemporary The XX instrumentation, the whole structure of it, it feels like a BBC Live Lounge cover of some forgotten rave classic. I love it regardless but it's an odd song as well.

Left Hand - Beast Coast: Beast Coast is lames and I didn't make it more that halfway through the album. On the fourth song there's a verse where one of these guys is doing that rap thing of talking way to graphically about eating pussy. He says lick lick lick it's gross. Anyway this song rocks though. The beat is that perfect mix of hard as hell and a little bit spooky and I love any song where one million guys do like four lines each.

Hung Up - Madonna: In the wake of not listening to Madame X I've been reflecting on how it's been 15 years since Madonna's last true banger, Hung Up, and in my opinion she's a legend forever for this song alone. Do you remember the Madonna x Gorillaz performance at the 2006 Grammys? Where she walked BEHIND the hologram? She still has so much to teach us.

Never Fight A Man With A Perm - IDLES: I love just how purely sweaty man muscle this song is. 'concrete to leather' are you kidding me?? That's the coolest shit I've ever heard. 'You look like you're from Love Island' also quite good.

Speakers Going Hammer - Soulja Boy: I was listening to this the other day and had to keep stopping and rewinding because of how advanced the flow is when he says 'Style swift hot like it's July 10th/Fly chick in my whip with nice tits/Her boyfriend paid for it, I didn't" he's like five minutes in front of the beat and combined with the internal assonance it just sounds sick as hell.

African Woman - Ebo Taylor: Man goes ham on toy piano must see

(I’m Not Your) Stepping Stone - The Monkees: My friend Tiana (who I've mentioned twice now!) came to band practice and said she saw The Monkees last night. I thought no, that's impossible. The Monkees are all long dead, forgotten legends from a forgotten age. BUT I was wrong! Michael Nesmith and Micky Dolenz, the surviving Monkees tour to this day! And she introduced me to this great song which we learned for the band! Monkees forever!

Whoo! Alright! Yeah! .. Uh Huh - The Rapture: Somehow as time goes on this song becomes more and more important to me and more and more groovy.I used to think life’s a bitter pill but it’s a grand old time. Now that’s wisdom.

World Of Stone/Loinclothing - Hunters And Collectors: I've been getting very heavily into early Hunters And Collectors over the last couple of months. I think I put Loinclothing on last months playlist as well but fuck it, it's great. It's so primal and raw it feels like the first caveman who learned to talk fronting a band of cavemen who sing songs about caveman issues and passion. I love the incredibly wide open sound the drums and bass have and the fidgety guitar combined with the unhinged vocals creates this really unique ambience of menace and power without ever getting particularly busy and losing the spaciousness. Feels like yelling about monkeys on a wide open desert plain.

Coisa No. 10 - Marcello Gonçalves and Anat Cohen: I found this song ages ago on ABC Jazz I think, and I absolutely love the intricacies of it. It twists and folds in on itself over and over and over without ever losing the groove or relaxing into anything easy. There's so much tension in it even though the melody and groove are so fun, it's a great mix. I also found out it's from an album that's a tribute to someone I'd never heard of before named Moacir Santos, so I got the great joy of discovering his music via this song as well.

Monologue/Nana - Moacir Santos: Moacis Santos, as I understand it, was one of Henry Mancini's film composition assistants and also the guy that taught all the Boss Nova geniuses like Sergio Mendes. I love this Monologue where he tells the story of a mystical vision that inspired this song, which you assume being inspired by a vision would be of mythical importance and weight and but instead sounds like the theme to a cartoon about a grandma who has superpowers.

Weird People - Little Mix: I need more info about the identity of the robot voice in this song. What is his relationship to the singer. He starts off antagonistic: “get off the wall” then commenting on what happened to her: “fell off the wall” then just echoing her: “on the other side” then becoming her “i’m living my life”. It’s complicated and hard to explain but I believe the robot voice in this song is god. Anyway this song is a masterpiece. It’s an incredibly goofy and great piece of 80s revival that imagines a glorious alternate future where Oh Yeah by Yello is the template for all pop music.

3 Legged Dog - Marisa Anderson: Marisa Anderson used to write songs with words here and there among her instrumentals but it seems that over the last couple of albums she’s decided to stick to instrumentals only which I think is a shame. She’s obviously brilliant at it but I’d hate to be missing out on beautiful little slices like this. I love how small time this song is, it feels like a song you’d sing to yourself more than a song for anyone else.

Nighttime Suite - Adam Gnade & Demetrius Francisco Antuña: Adam Gnade is a guy I’ve been following for about ten years now who seems determined to stay obscure. He self-releases all his stuff in limited editions or on cassettes, some of my favourite things he’s ever done don’t seem to be available anywhere digitally any more (if they ever were). I remember years ago he seemed hard up for cash and he ran a deal on his website called a ‘lifetime subscription’ where if you sent him I think $100 he would send you everything he’s ever done AND would continue to send you everything he made in the future for the rest of his life. It was absolutely great, I would get CD-Rs and tapes and zines and things delivered randomly to my mailbox every so often for a couple of years and they were all fantastic. I guess at some point my lifetime subscription lapsed because he’s released a bunch of stuff I haven’t heard or read but that’s ok, you shouldn’t be able to buy someone’s eternal soul for $100.

Adam Gnade has developed his own style of folk music where he just recites a sort of prose poetry over music and it’s incredible. In the hands of anyone else it could feel overly pretentious, and he pretty often rides that line. He’s reaching for a sort of poet laureate of Americana ideal but very often he actually grabs it. His writing is great and magnifies the minor details of normal life into larger symptoms of the American mindset, like depression-era songs of marginalised and exploited people individualised and updated for the modern era. Most of the time he backs himself on a lazily strummed guitar or banjo and his music sounds like sitting on the front step or laying down in the tall grass, but for this song he’s teamed up with Demetrius Francisco Antuña for some real Godspeed feeling dark soundscapes and it’s really something.

We Are The Same - Lurch And Chief: I think it's a damn shame that Lurch And Chief broke up before they even put an album out because this song is a damn classic and I have begun praying every day for the return of Lurch and/or Chief. I love a big voice and there's two distinctly huge voices in this song fighting for position.

983/Near DT, MI - Black Midi: Fucking hell I love this Black Midi album. I'm so, so glad it exists. It feels like the next generation of the Slint Hella, Tera Melos etc lineage of math rock and I simply can't get enough of it. Pump it directly into my veins I'm obsessed with it.

Take Control - Amerie: I just screamed out loud in my car hearing this song for the first time because it samples Jimmy, Renda Se by Tom Zé one of my absolute favourite songs ever. And samples it amazingly, totally transforms it into something new while keeping the spirit of the original. Do you ever feel like a song was just made for you personally? It’s a very kind thing of my vlogger wife Amerie to do for me but I guess that’s just how she is. Also, thanks to Spotify’s new feature where you can see the actual credits for songs I got to find out that Hall And Oates are credited on this because it basically interpolates the the whole verse melody from You Make My Dreams Come True which I didn’t even realise until I looked up why they were credited.

Unsquare Dance - Dave Brubeck: Dave Brubeck's brain is huge. I can't belive it's possible to make 7/4 this funky. How come nobody else ever ripped off this rhythm? It deserves to be a whole genre. I also totally love the piano solo near the end where it turns into like a funky 7/4 stride and then abruply ends with a shave and haircut like it's 1925.

Suddenly - French Vanilla: Get a load of this fucking slice of dance punk that Discover Weekly served me up. I haven't even listened ot the album yet because I just love this song so much I'm stuck on it. Singing "I like the nightlife! I'm in the spotlight!" like you're being hunted with a knife? Incredible. The impromptue glossolalia about halfway through? Incredible. Everything about the saxophone? Incredible

Maneater - Nelly Furtado: There's nothing deft or subtle about Timbaland. Everything he does is just so heavy handed and thick. The drums in this are so straightforward and they sound like garbage cans.. Nothing ever plays at he same time as anything else . It's like a gorilla learned to play and it's absolutely fucking sick. And then the whole rest of the song! His insanely thick buzzy synth lines against the big beautifully stack clean harmonies

I, The Witchfinder - Electric Wizard: I've been getting back into Skyrim because I have a little worm living in my brain and I've discovered a good trick is to turn off the game music and turn on Electric Wizard instead. It increases the ambience because it feels like if you did an x-ray of the Dragonborn's head this is all that would be in there. It's just stoner metal in there and no other thoughts.

Music Sounds Better With You - Stardust: Can you believe how lucky we are to live in a world where the greatest song ever written is finally available on spotify? You can just listen to this any time of the night or day and immediately improve your life.

Don’t Chew - Spilled Oats: Here’s a very good and underexplored idea: what if guitar music but it sounds like chopped and screwed? Absolutely dynamite.

As an extra bonus treat here the absolute best ever chopped and screwed channel I’ve found on youtube, please explore Scobed & Robed: https://www.youtube.com/user/scottalexanderburton

listen here

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crowkingwrites · 5 years

Text

Baby Bump

Pairing: Loki X Reader

Words: 1575 (Ao3 Link) MCU Masterlist written for @sugarwastaken

You had gone through your first trimester and now you were showing. The small but noticeable baby bump delighted you with joy. It meant so much more to you and your husband than people knew.

Loki had been under mind control when he attacked New York. After reconciling with his brother, he proved to everyone that he was no longer the villain, but hero in his own right. It caught your attention and your heart. You were only a low-clearance data shield agent then. Why on Earth would a god notice you?

Oh, but he did.

He liked the way you tied your hair up if you did anything important. He liked the way you laughed. How a million giggles bubbled up in his stomach every time you did laugh. Loki started to pull pranks around the compound just to see you laugh. And when you did, Loki felt himself melting. He knew he had to have you.

He was nervous when he asked. His fingers fumbled and he stumbled over his words.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Y/N. I-I was wondering…you know just a thought…and I was hoping if you were free this evening. You can say no! No wait-I mean, if you were busy then I would understand, but I hope you’re not busy. Not to say that I think you’re lonely! I just-I wanted—

“I would love to, Loki,” you smiled. And that was it. Four years later, Loki and you had a home to yourselves, married, and were expecting a child together. It had been a long road for both of you. You straightened out your flowing blouse and cardigan and set out to work.

Loki and you never carpooled anymore. You were bound to a set schedule. Loki was not. However, that all could change soon. When you arrived to the office, Maria Hill answered to you.

“Ms. Y/N. Data from our Mexico Unit has come back. Fury said he wanted you to look it over,” Maria said.

“Good. Because he would do it wrong. He didn’t name me as Head Data Analyst because I had two eyes,” you teased.

“I heard that,” Nick greeted both of you in the main control room. Screens around the world displayed the public and their doings. Several analyst sat in their seats combing through data, sound recordings, and images. Nick Fury put his hands on his hips. “Is that a baby I see there?” “It is,” you admitted. You held your hand over the bump. Nick Fury came over to you with a grand smile.

“I suppose it might be time to talk about your maternal leave soon, hm?” Fury suggested. Before you could get another word in, you heard a certain someone come squealing to you.

“Y/N!” Tony Stark hugged you tightly. He took a long look at your swelling stomach. “I gotta say. You look good pregnant. I didn’t think I would be attracted to a pregnant woman before.”

“Watch it, Stark,” Loki warned. Your husband strutted to you and kissed your temple. He gave Stark another dirty look. “That’s my wife.”

“Chill, Reindeer Games,” Tony held his hands up. He glanced back to you. Without moving his stance or hands, Tony spoke to you. “Pepper wanted me to confirm if she was planning the baby shower or not. She really, really wanted to.”

You nodded. “Of course she can. But, you’ll have to tell Natasha that. Not me.” Your husband escorted you away from the control room. Both of you went down the hall and towards your daily data collection from an avenger. Or at least, that’s what both of you officially called it. Both of you only wanted to sneak away to catch up on your own.

“You alright? You seemed uptight in there,” you asked.

“How are you feeling? Is the magic working? Did you throw up at all this morning? Do you feel sick? You look tired, sweetheart.”

“I’m fine!” you laughed. “Are you okay? Why did you look at Tony like that?”

“I didn’t like the way he spoke to you. You’re not his sexual object.”

“He was only messing around.”

Your day continued with more data coming in and out. Your eyes longed for a break at lunch. Your eyes lit up when you saw Steve sitting and binging a new show. He ate away at a giant sandwich.

“Whatcha watching?” you greeted him, sitting next to the famous avenger.

“How I Met Your Mother,” Steve told you in between bites.

“Ah, up to the early 2000’s, huh?”

“No, uh, I’m taking a break from the 80’s. A lot of cheesy shows and heartbreak there,” Steve nodded. He paused the show on his tablet and politely turned to you. His eyes landed on your belly.

“You can ask,” you told him.

“I can touch? You’d let me?” Steve said. You nodded and Steve’s hand ran over your belly. Joy spread across his face. A moment of silence passed and you saw a quick flash of sadness before he replaced it with joy again. “I’m happy for both of you. I really am. I had my doubts about Loki, but seeing this…wow.”

“Thank you. What about you? Did you ever think about having children?”

“Yes and no,” Steve started. “I fell in love with a girl during the war. I imagined what our lives would be like together. I saw everything. The bells, little shoes, wrinkles in her face. Ten I woke up eighty years later.”

“You would make a wonderful father,” you told Steve, patting his hand. Steve covered your hand with his.

“Both of you are going to be incredible parents.”

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Loki exclaimed. He rushed to your side once more, pulling you to him. You pouted at Loki’s sudden actions and struggled against him. Loki held you thight against him, giving murderous eyes to the patriot. “Why were you holding my wife’s hand? Hm? Seeking comfort in your lone—

“We were having a moment,” Steve said. “Nothing more, nothing less.”

“A moment?” Loki’s anger rose. “Y/N is to be the mother of my child. She is my world, and you dare threaten that with your own selfish—

“Loki, it’s alright. Steve was just telling us congratulations. He thinks you’ll be an excellent father. That’s all.” You turned back to Steve. “I am so sorry. I really am.”

Steve gave you a half-smile as you both went on your way. The day went on, and Loki wouldn’t stop staring down people and or letting anyone even touch you. Loki drove you both towards IKEA after work to get ideas for a nursery. You jumped out of the car and Loki held you close to him again. He kissed your temple as you both made your way inside the large building, then you saw a very familiar brother-in-law who was more than excited to be an uncle.

“Loki!” Thor hugged his brother tightly. “You know, I always thought he would have a child before me. He was always better with girls than I was.”

“Are you kidding? Gilrs loved you,” Loki laughed.

“While that might be true. You kept them around longer.” Thor caught an eyeful of your belly. “You’re showing!” Thor bent down to touch your belly until Loki smacked his hand away.

“Loki! Quit it! It’s Thor! Your brother!” you yelled at him. “What is going on with you?” “Y/N, I’m sorry, but—

“Go cool off in the bathroom, please,” you pleaded with him. With a huff, Loki stormed off into the bathroom. Thor frowned and then looked at you.

“Is everything alright? Has he been in a mood all day? You know how he is with his moods.”

“No, well yes, I don’t know. Every time someone came close to me or tried to touch me he would yell at them and stare them down with these Ramsay Bolton eyes until they cowered away.”

“Ramsay Bolton? Oh! That nasty character from that show you both like!” Thor laughed. “I don’t know why you would compare the two. Loki could kick his ass. And I would love to watch.”

“Thor—

“Sorry,” Thor looked at his brother returning from the bathroom. He looked tired and dejected. “You do remember he is a Frost Giant, right?”

“What does that have to do with his behavior?”

“When Frost Giants become pregnant, it is usually the male species that becomes territorial. Loki is only protecting you and your child because of instincts and genetics. Not jealousy.”

You let out a long and slow ‘Oh’. The thought didn’t even occur to you. That would explain why Loki built and entire fence around your yard in one day. Loki grabbed your hand gently.

“I’m sorry. I have been awful today, haven’t I?”

You kissed his cheek and shook your head. “Thor told me that you were only doing what was in your blood. I can’t blame you for that.”

“She also compared you to Ramsay Bolton,” Thor mentioned. The three of you entered the store. Loki scoffed.

“Him? Out of all the Game of Thrones characters you compare me to him?! I could wipe the floor with him. Mad dog.”

“See? I told you,” Thor laughed. Loki’s hand glided over the baby bump.

“I thought I could have been Robb Stark at least.” Loki told Thor.

“No, no. You’re not Robb Stark. You’re more like Arya.”

“Arya? The girl with the knives? Oh yes,” Loki laughed.

Ultimate Tag List (People who wished to be tagged in EVERY work I post.)

@angelicshinigami @sugarwastaken @carilov09 @i-theredqueen@sleepylunarwolf @loki-0fasgard @ravenqueenbr

Loki Tag List (People who wish to be tagged in everything Loki related)

@thisisaclusterofablog @markusstraya @affabletimelady@inumorph @1v-kayla@quinzzelx

To be added or removed or switched from these taglists, just ask!

#baby bump #loki #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki x reader #loki/reader #imagine loki #loki imagine #mcu imagine #mcu #fanfic

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hungline · 5 years

Text

it’s getting dark (but here comes the sun)

pairings: vmon, side jihope and yoonkook/jinkook genre: angst, fluff, future au, space au, rated t warnings: longing a/n: written for @lievlua as part of the vmon rites of spring fest! words: 3745

summary: He has been gone three years now and most likely will be gone for three more.

Namjoon makes sure that his polite smile remains on his face for the duration of the lecture.

He goes through his slides at a leisure pace and stops when needed to answer questions about the lesson. His students are paying attention and taking dutiful notes, but Namjoon can't help that the joy of teaching no longer fills him with excitement and hope like it once used to.

He does manage to hold onto a tiny spark of amusement when he hands back the graded essays from last week and his students groan when they chance a look at their scores. Namjoon dismisses class after that and waits patiently by his desk for the students who have questions about their papers or why they got a certain grade and how they can improve their essay techniques for next time. Namjoon entertains them for twenty minutes and then reminds them of his office hours for that week if they have any more questions or need further help before he leads the way out for the next class to enter. He waves at Professor Min in the hallway and decides to ask Yoongi how the students in his women studies class are doing later in the week when they meet for lunch.

Absentmindedly, he weaves his way through the crowds of students on campus and makes a pit stop at the office he shares with two other English professors and revises his current lesson plan. Namjoon takes notes of the points he wants to expand on during the lecture next week and updates his version of the textbook he assigned his classes. He had done his best to find a textbook that wasn't so expensive but still contained the material that Namjoon would need for his students to get the most out of the money they would spend just to take his class. In his first year of teaching, he printed out a multitude of articles back when paper was still used and made his students buy a twelve dollar guidebook off amazon and almost had a break down with how awful his students were struggling to understand the concepts introduced in the guidebook because they were never explained on later in detail as they should have been.

After that, Namjoon did his research and found a relatively affordable textbook that would do the job just fine. He always gives his students at least three weeks to get the book after the term has begun just in case they need to pay bills first before they buy school books. He knows that even though they may reside in Washington, D.C, it doesn't mean that everyone who attends school in the area is rich. He struggled plenty with money and school books when he was a student himself and had often thought of dropping out, but there was always one reason he persevered through his hard times.

(He never said a word of it out loud, but having someone to talk to and help him study and just generally keep him company saved Namjoon more times than he would like to count during his college years. Somehow, Taehyung seemed to realized this anyway and teased Namjoon about it enough for the fondness he felt for his husband to override any negative feelings a younger Namjoon might have had.)

One of the other professors enters their office then, tearing Namjoon out of his thoughts. He smiles at them, making small talk before he packs his things up and clears out for their office hours once a student timidly knocks on the door. Namjoon taps his watch and sends a message to Alexa, the house A.I., that he is on his way home and to turn the heater on so that by the time he arrives, the house will not be freezing.

Back in the early 2000s, most of the Earth's environmentalists had warned everybody of the quickly oncoming effects of global warming while various governments downplayed their claims by distracting the general public with other less important issues such as national security that was not at any actual risk. Truthfully, global warming had been a rapidly rising problem ever since the ‘90s and ‘80s, but as far as Namjoon could tell, the general population only began to pay attention to it in the late 2010s. By then, it was too late because in 2022 the Earth's temperatures dropped seemingly “out of nowhere” and have remained there ever since.

Namjoon only knows about any of this in such detail because Yoongi's boyfriend, Jeongguk, and Jeongguk’s boyfriend, Seokjin, are two of the many scientists who are working on getting the Earth's temperature back to a normal state. They always complain about work on those rare occasions that they join Namjoon and Yoongi for lunch and bicker about their data results constantly. Namjoon was nervous the first time he met them, mostly because he had no idea how to treat them after Yoongi explained that Jeongguk is polyamorous while his partners are not and are okay with him dating them both, but Namjoon gradually relaxed as the meet-ups continued and he got to know all three of them better.

Seokjin is the eldest of them all and never acts like his age which is hilarious when Namjoon compares that to Jeongguk always listening to him with rapt attention whenever Namjoon is explaining something about his latest lesson. Their easy-going natures made it hard for him to remain reserved around the two new additions and soon, Namjoon found himself frequently at Yoongi’s home for dinner during the week and sometimes housing them at his own. Jeongguk had made the mistake of asking Namjoon about his wedding band during their very first meeting as well and Namjoon forced himself not to let his smile fall as he explained about Taehyung.

(Namjoon is positive that Yoongi purposefully changed the subject after that for his benefit and berated his boyfriend for the question in private afterward because no one ever brought it up again after that.)

The drive home is short and Namjoon stops by the mailbox to click on its screen to check for any new mail. Most of it is just bills, but there is also a postcard from Hoseok and Jimin included in the files. Namjoon syncs the mail to his watch with a few more taps then shuts down the screen with a dismissive swipe across it and walks leisurely towards his front door.

Thankfully, it is warm inside his home and Namjoon sighs as he kicks off his shoes and hangs his jacket in the hallway closet. He throws his keys in the bowl by the door and walks forward, tapping away at the face of his watch to check his other notifications. He pays the bills with another swipe and asks Alexa to play his welcome home playlist before he grabs the handle of the fridge and waits for the screen to tell him what he currently has inside the icebox and how fresh it currently is. He doesn't find much that he is in the mood for and grabs the freezer handle, smiling when he catches sight of the ground beef at 89% freshness sitting on top of an oven pizza Namjoon is saving for one of his very bad days. Today has been well and on top of that, Namjoon wants to cook something relatively easy, so the obvious choice is spaghetti.

Namjoon grabs the beef and goes over to the sink and fills it with hot water before he places the ground beef in it to defrost quickly, cursing the fact that he hadn’t set it out earlier before he left for his classes in the late morning. He knows what is in the pantry because he finished restocking it before he left for class and grabbing the package of angel hair off one of the top shelves is effortless. Namjoon sets the pasta on the counter and searches for a pot, checking all of his drawers individually when it would be much easier to pull up the kitchen manifest file he has downloaded and synced on his watch instead. Eventually, he finds a pot and fills it with water, asking Alexa to turn the stove on as he does. Namjoon hums along to his playlist as he sets the pot on the stove, looking over the stove's statistics before nodding his head in satisfaction and making his way towards the master bedroom.

The room feels bare with none of Taehyung’s clothes thrown carelessly everywhere and it is obvious that only one side of the bed is actually slept on, but Namjoon ignores the familiar ache in his chest and rushes to the closet. He finds a clean set of pajamas with blue stripes running down them vertically and an alien with a heart-shaped head scattered across the lines. It doesn't actually belong to him, but Namjoon ignores that fact and finds a clean pair of underwear before he takes his long-awaited shower of the day.

Namjoon still isn't used to the open shower in the bathroom and he knows that he most likely never will be. He powers through his shower anyway, drying himself off with a towel instead of the built-in blow dryers that retract from the walls because they always make his skin feel sticky afterward and changes into the pajamas back in the bedroom. He continues to ruffle his hair with his towel before he throws it into the hamper and with that done, Namjoon walks back into the kitchen to check on the pot of water he left to boil in his absence.

The water is ready and Namjoon makes sure to measure out an appropriate amount of pasta from the package before he reseals it with the sealing machine found in one of their drawers and drops them into the pot. He checks on the ground beef and finds it thawed enough for his tastes. His watch has already alerted him where another pot can be found and Namjoon wastes no time in filling it up with water and setting it down on an empty burner beside the pot of pasta. He drains the sink and opens the shrink wrap on the ground beef, scooping his usual amount of it in his hand before he breaks the meat into pieces and starts rolling them into balls between the palms of his hands. Before long, Namjoon has five meatballs ready that he added a meager amount of salt to and carefully settles them into the second boiling pot of water on the stove.

Thankfully, the angel hair is only just beginning to soften so Namjoon grabs one of his spoons reserved for pasta and starts stirring, asking Alexa if there is any butter in the fridge. It is easy to settle into his movements then. Namjoon barely has to think as he grabs the butter out of the fridge and uses a spoon to scoop some out of the tub and mix into his pot of boiling pasta. He continues to stir the pot, keeping an eye on his meatballs as well while he continues to sing along with his playlist. Here Comes The Sun is currently playing and Namjoon can’t stop himself from swaying with the beat of the music.

He lifts a noodle up from the hot, boiling water and blows on it until it is cool enough for him to bite. He chews with no difficulty and smiles to himself as he asks Alexa to turn the first burner off. Namjoon checks the kitchen manifest for the strainer and pulls it out of a drawer he never would have guessed to look through before he sets it near the sink and checks on his meatballs. When he opens one slightly with a fork, the meat isn’t pink and the next one he checks still has pink when he breaks it open enough to peer inside, so he sighs and asks Alexa to lower the heat on the burner before he focuses on straining the pasta.

The last song on his playlist comes to end once the stove has been turned off completely and Namjoon is fishing his meatballs out of the pot and onto his spaghetti. After straining his pasta, he had poured tomato sauce over it while it was still in its pot and turned the other burner back on to heat everything up because he hates pouring room temperature sauce over his pasta. Now his meatballs are finally done, he resealed the ground beef before sticking it back into the freezer, and the plate of delicious-looking spaghetti before him is making his stomach rumble with hunger.

Namjoon moves his plate to the kitchen table and the pots into the dishwasher, asking Alexa to start the pre-soak and then wait for his signal to start the regular wash cycle again. He grabs a glass from the cupboard and takes the pitcher of lemonade he made yesterday out of the fridge before returning to the table.

“Alexa, play Taehyung’s playlist,” Namjoon murmurs as he sits, having poured himself a glass of lemonade and twirled his fork through his spaghetti already.

A soft jazz ensemble begins to play and Namjoon takes a bite of his food, doing his best to ignore the ache in his chest and the way his hands are beginning to shake. He forces himself to get through his meal, pushing away the lonely thoughts that have plagued him ever since Taehyung left as the music continues to play. Eventually, Namjoon has to stop once he realizes that the wetness on his cheeks isn’t tomato sauce at all but his tears instead.

“Alexa, play the last video message received from Taehyung.”

Namjoon ignores the fact that his voice is raspy and cracked twice when he spoke and instead focuses on the video that begins to play in the seat across from him that Taehyung used to sit in when they would have dinner together. Taehyung’s familiar face is blown up to fill the entire space allowed by the projected video and Namjoon grabs a napkin from the middle of the table to start wiping his face. He can clearly see black emptiness behind Taehyung and a green-blue glow lights up his face enough so Namjoon can tell that he is in his suit at that moment. Floating in the middle of space. Making his way towards Mars of all places. So very far away from the Earth and Namjoon in general.

He has been gone three years now and most likely will be gone for three more. Namjoon knows that if he had left for Mars any earlier, Taehyung would be out in space for over twenty years instead of the expected seven he was enduring now. Hoseok and Jimin were engineers and had worked for years on the rocket that Taehyung and a group of other trained astronauts would use to get to Mars and back with all of their new findings. Namjoon had met them when he swung by the base one time to bring Taehyung his lunch that he had forgotten and had not been able to leave until Hoseok and Taehyung both dragged Jimin away from pinching Namjoon’s cheeks any further. He still doesn’t understand the fascination, but Hoseok and Jimin are in the Bahamas for a long deserved vacation they were finally allowed to go on a few months ago and he is happy that they finally get to rest.

Namjoon became friends with Yoongi soon after his only other friends left the country for what they called their second honeymoon and he knows that he isn’t really alone. He knows that if he asked, Yoongi would invite him over to his place and ask Namjoon to spend the night so he wouldn’t feel so lonely in the dead of the night when he’s curled up on Taehyung’s side of the bed, failing to fall asleep yet again. He also knows that if he even let a hint of his unhappiness show whenever he video chats with them, Hoseok and Jimin would hop on the fastest porter and follow him around everywhere, refusing to leave him alone even for a minute. He knows this, but he would never allow himself to be so selfish either.

Yoongi has his own relationship to pay attention to and with the difficulty of it, Namjoon knows that his fellow teacher’s attention is spread thin at any given time. Hoseok and Jimin are so wrapped up in each other that he once had to stop them from having sex right in front of him. Plus, those two deserve their vacation. Namjoon doesn’t want to ruin that.

So he watches and listens to Taehyung’s video attentively, wiping at his face when Taehyung smiles for him and tells him that he loves him before the feed cuts off and Namjoon is left staring at the back of Taehyung’s chair.

He misses Taehyung more than words could ever say and he always finds himself spinning his wedding band around on his finger whenever he thinks of him.

He misses his husband, but he never would have convinced Taehyung to stay on Earth and choose a different career path instead. This is what he signed up for when he got set up on a blind date by his sister and his date never showed up, but Taehyung had pretended to be his date just as the waiter was swooping in to ask if Namjoon still wanted to wait after an hour had passed. Since then, Namjoon has never once thought of anyone but him and it was easy to ask Taehyung out on a real date since they had exchanged numbers on Namjoon’s botched one.

For Namjoon, his choice has always been Taehyung and always will be. No matter what.

He might miss Taehyung more than he ever thought he knew how to miss anybody or anything, but Namjoon loves his husband more than everything in this galaxy and he believes in him. He believes in them and that is why when he thinks of how much he aches for his husband to come home, he also thinks of how Taehyung is going to be the first man on Mars and make history.

Most of all, he thinks of how happy and accomplished Taehyung is going to feel when he finally comes home.

Namjoon will wait for as long as he has to.

Taehyung double checks that his suit is still in working order when he takes the last few steps down the ramp and sets a foot down on firm ground, officially making him the first man to step on Mars.

The giddy feeling that spreads through him reminds him of his wedding day when he looked up to see Namjoon standing at the end of the aisle looking breathtakingly beautiful. Taehyung knows that he cried as Namjoon walked towards him and he is proud of that fact no matter how many times Hoseok and Jimin teased him for it when they saw his wedding video. Now they have it downloaded to their joint data bank and would constantly play the clip over and over again when he would swing by the R&D department to check out how the spaceship was coming along.

He can say that he misses the teasing now that he hasn’t been able to endure it for over an entire Earth year, but he is grateful for the technology that his friends crafted to get him where he is now.

His crew is quick to follow him and Taehyung smiles as Joshua plants the U.S. flag in the soil while their watches record the scene from multiple angles. Taehyung is mostly amazed that their smartwatches still retain their basic functions so far out of range from any kind of signal except for that of the ship, but he won’t start complaining about it any time soon. Their watches come more in handy than anyone would like to think.

Mars is dusty and a rich dark brown that almost looks red if he weren’t paying close attention to it. The dunes their old rovers took photos of for them two decades ago are more impressive in real life and Taehyung can hardly believe this is all real. But he has a mission, one specifically crafted just for him, and he cannot let himself fail it now.

Luckily, his target isn’t too far from their landing spot and Taehyung makes sure his camera is in working order before he trudges across the surface of Mars and kneels down before a very dusty and beloved rover. He wipes off the dust on the solar panels and cups what he has always thought of as something like a face while the robot begins to take in energy and charge up.

Joshua is still standing by the flag he made sure to stick into Mars’ land, but the entire crew is holding their breath, waiting.

They do not have to wait for long because soon enough the screen on the rover’s chest is flickering on and the rover’s face moves in his hands, leaning into Taehyung’s touch.

Music begins to play from Vernon’s watch and Taehyung almost cries when he realizes that it is Here Comes The Sun. It is Namjoon’s favorite song and just the thought of his husband alone and missing him back on Earth has Taehyung itching to snatch up the robot and book it for the ship, setting the fastest course for home so he can return as soon as he can to the one he loves and misses most.

Except this is important and Namjoon would understand. Namjoon has always accommodated him and loved him without fault. This time would be no different.

That all recedes to the back of his mind when the rover begins to move once more, treading forward slightly until it bumps into Taehyung’s knee. It stops and makes a noise Taehyung would assume is an apology but he is just too happy to care.

“Hello, Oppy. Are you ready to go home?” Taehyung asks, grinning as his crew erupts into cheers behind him.

The journey is now halfway over. He knows that the team will need to take multiple samples of Mars’ surface and conduct a number of tests, but his mission is finally complete.

Taehyung can return to Earth, and more importantly, he can return to Namjoon.

#vmon #taejoon #kwordsmiths #prettyboysnetwork #btsguild #betareadernet #bts #angst #fluff #p:namjoon/taehyung #f:igd(bhcts)#m: fic

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mrsandok · 3 years

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Remembering the Quarantine and Quarantine Fridays <3

I’ve been meaning to write about how special Quarantine Fridays were to me for a while. I think I was holding off because I thought writing it would make me sad. I mean--when will an opportunity to connect with friends and strangers in that particular manner happen? what up, delta?

But I think I’m in a better place to reflect on it now. In fact, I really like reflecting on the quarantine knowing I survived it in a somewhat productive manner knowing many other people weren’t as lucky.

I’m blessed.

This is going to be a two-part post knowing that finishing school with the class of 2020 and 2021 (my juniors) really helped me make sense of my worth during those trying-ass-times.

Part One: Teacher Lyfe

March 2020

The Coronavirus was in the news since December ‘19. However, just because the world is the way that it is, our news centered around that orange dude and whatever he said. In fact, he continued to dominate the news until that silly little insurrection he started.

this all sounds like the old-me festering on shit that’s beyond my control that would affect my happiness and being reactive of it.

I’m not sure when I changed but I definitely changed during the quarantine. I honestly don’t feel the need to voice or be reactive in any way that involves people’s different values.

I think this post is an attempt to try and make sense of how and why I changed

I have so many odd memories of early quarantine.

I remember that strange feeling of turning off my alarm to wake up at 6 AM knowing that school is indefinitely suspended.

Haha--I remember when it was a ~3-week pause in an attempt to ~flatten the curve~.

I remember feeling weird sleeping in on a Wednesday--a school night.

It felt like Spring Break but we couldn’t really do anything so there wasn’t really anything to celebrate?

It was somewhat exciting to not have work (and thankfully being paid when millions of people were out of jobs 🙏) those first few weeks.

Making sense of not being able to visit my family, my best friend that lives 20 min away, or even go out to my favorite restaurants was hard for me to grasp but I learned to enjoy my solitude while keeping in contact with people via technology.

Remember Zoom happy hours and group face times? Haha.

April 2020 I can’t imagine what it was like to have children during the early days of the pandemic.

I can’t imagine what it was like to teach 9th grade and below during the pandemic.

How do you help kids understand the world during those trying-ass-times?

Props that all of ya’ll that did it.

I was blessed to be in the middle of teaching my juniors and seniors how to understand the world on their own terms when the quarantine began. AP11 is a class centered around language and writing so there was always a focus on current events and making sense of it together. The American Literature curriculum was always easy to relate to current events because, well, we’ve always been broken. My teaching just became that much more real when we were experiencing this pandemic together.

I forget the actual logistics of how distance teaching/learning was but essentially these were the guidelines:

You can give opportunities for students to raise their grades.

You can’t diminish students’ grades for any work they do over the pandemic

There was no “set” schedule but you have to make an effort to reach out to them.

I had 3 preps for about an hour each.

1 AP11 section

1 CP11 section

1 CP12: Search for Human Potential section

AP11 was more concerned with the rhetorical analysis essay. That was easy enough to teach. People understood rhetoric and how to write about it pretty quickly.

Barely anyone showed up for the CP11 sections

CP12 was beautiful knowing that people that showed up genuinely wanted to make sense of the pandemic together through the existential unit I always teach.

We read Notes from Underground and The Stranger.

It was a legit book club.

The problem was...we had weeks left before the contractual end of school. I was out of material.

May 2020 Existentialism is related to postmodernism, the movement I was teaching to my juniors, what better opportunity to teach one of my favorite postmodern books? White Noise.

Though that was my second to last year teaching English, it was definitely my most memorable because I was able to teach something for the sake of understanding the current climate of the world.

Mind you, this was before the vaccine, this was when we were trying our utmost best to understand how the virus operates, this was still very, very early in the pandemic.

For those unfamiliar with White Noise, it’s about a College professor who suffers from imposter syndrome and has a crippling fear of death and the unknown. All this gets accentuated when there’s a airborne toxic event that occurs in the middle of the book. It hit home for a lot of people. It hit home with me with imposter syndrom during my 6th year in my third English department 💃.

There were plenty of moments where I no longer felt like their teacher but a peer trying my best to make sense of the world through this book written in the ‘80s.

We found solace in the fact that people have feared death since the beginning of time.

We found solace that all the political rhetoric concerning who’s to blame for the virus or how people are handling it may be a projection of their uncomfortabilty of the unknown or their own fear of death. It’s easier to blame ____ than confront whatever is making us feel negative emotions.

It was liberating getting to the end of that book knowing that the pandemic still exists (in the book and in real life) but all is well.

All is well simply because there are other things in this world to care about versus worry about.

It’s a lesson of being proactive of what you can control versus reactive of what you can’t control.

It’s a lesson that took me months to practice in my own life.

Early June 2020 I tell my students how much they mean to me in a genuine way at the end of the year. Understanding the pandemic together was definitely something I needed in my life.

All my lessons somehow tie into the idea that school is only important if you make it important. Sometimes that includes getting good grades and letters of recommendation to get to where you want to be. Sometimes it means simply knowing how to interact with others to finish a group project. Sometimes it’s getting close with a teacher knowing that he’s going through the same shit you’re going through, too.

That’s what made these students so special. They saw I genuinely cared and genuinely gave it back through these optional class meetings we had.

This meant the world to me when the world was standing still. I had an alarm to wake up (10:00 AM?) so we could discuss the next chapters and it was something I genuinely looked forward to.

I learned so much from them from that silly little book I read when I was 18/19 at Orange Coast College. Mind you, I definitely wasn’t as mature as they were at that age. But again, we weren’t literally living a pandemic, too.

I felt like my AP11 students graduated with my CP12 students. So much, in fact, I was pretty confused to see them on campus when we returned. I thought they were already off doing big thangz.

I’m proud of you all. I’m thankful for ya’ll experiencing that with me.

Signed--from the bottom of my heart, Mr. Sandok

---

I think this is an appropriate transition to talk about how special quarantine fridays were to me during trying-ass-times now that I was able to collect my thoughts on why teaching was so important during the early quarantine stages.

I don’t actually remember the actual day I attempted to livestream. I attempted it on Instagram Live and Twitch and it was so fucking awkward. I remember anxiously walking out in my patio to shake off the rust I had from DJ’ing.

Damn--I simultaneously wish and not wish I recorded that set. What on earth did I play? Was it bad? Or was I just nervous at randoms tuning in? Because I remember that was definitely nervewracking

April 17, 2021: The Birth of The Quarantine Series

I only know this date simply from my first Quarantine Series Flyer on Instagram. It correlates with my first instagram highlight of the initial days of the series.

It’s wild at how bare this production looks revisiting it.

Still got that red light, thoooooo 💃

It’s hard for me to remember how I got comfortable with DJ’ing in my living room for my friends and select strangers. However, it was the biggest source of happiness during the quarantine--especially after the school year ended and my extroverted-ass didn’t have the means to connect with others through literature and bullshit about life with my students.

I’ve had these turntables since I was 13. I used to lug them with my Vestax 06 mixer (which I finally dropped off at good well when I moved into my new place) along with two crates of records and CD booklets of burned CDs during my early days DJ’ing.

I bought a new’ish mixer for the turntables but never really used it because I graduated from bedroom DJ a long time ago. This was literally the first time I used the mixer heavily.

This was also the first time DJ”ing with in-ear-monitors. I’ve always been a diva about in-ear monitors. I attempted to use them at Mesa once and hated it because I couldn't feel the music like a real DJ should when they’re catering to a crowd feeling your vibe. 💅

Slowly, I learned how to up the production of my twitch sets. My visuals were due for an update. I forget how long they were before #quarantinefridays but now they’re 2 hours long of just pure red thirst. Hahaha

Quarantine Friday Highlights

Heavy Hip Hop Reflection Night

One of the special things about the Quarantine Series was knowing that I wasn’t getting paid for this and I was able to play for an audience of myself on some nights.

I never get to play obscure 2000s hip hop anymore. I dedicated an entire night to it when my mentor and my student’s father were reminiscing about their college days in the early 2000s.

Here it is again for those of you that haven’t read it.

Realizing that I don’t want to be ‘90s DJ anymore

This has been a long time coming. The first few years at Mesa were fun because I was able to bring a “classy ratchet” or “clatchet” vibes to Costa Mesa when the scene was flooded with house music.

But damn...there came a point where I simply didn’t wanna play that shit anymore. I avoid “Ain’t No Fun” and “Regulate” like the plague.

This was especially true seeing other DJs on twitch playing that stuff. As talented as they are--I feel like I outgrew that sound in the same sense I don’t listen to The Beatles or Led Zeppelin anymore.

Realizing that new hip hop isn’t that good

It was somewhere around the Future/Migos mumble rap era when I realized that this is this generation’s version of No Limit records. Hot trash.

Then Drake, a dude that popularized being a fuckboy, became the face of hip hop.

No thanks

Realizing that the shit i fuck with now is R&B

I’ve embraced this for a while in my personal life but it’s definitely dictating the type of DJ I am--so much that someone at Mesa asked me politely to play some hip hop. I smiled and realized, “wtf am i doing?”

YO JORJA, SZA, SUMMER, H.E.R., JHENE---KEEP THAT SHIT COMING.

Realizing that I want to continue to be a pioneer in this R&B trend that paak and mars are doing right now

Funk is alive and well. There’s even a fire playlist on spotify called Retro Pop that captures the vibe I want to have in my sets.

I gotta practice that shit more.

Shoutouts:

Dknypinay: definitely my biggest fan. Definitely my biggest influence. Everything dope about me is attributed to her interest in music in the ‘90s. She listened to KROQ, The Beat, Powe 106 and gave this 7 year old some flavor. My first album was her tape of Snoop’s Doggystyle!!!

Bryan_black6: I helped this dude move from Dallas to Cali in December. Pre-vaccine. We had big plans of doing an “on-the-road” set for the quarantine series. LITTLE DID WE KNOW WE’D ALMOST DIE IN THAT UHAUL MULTIPLE TIMES. A lot of the R&B I’d play on twitch was reminiscent of the music we’d listen to when he’d tattoo me in his bedroom.

Implicithero: One of the biggest compliments I got over #quarantinefridays came from Drew and Mel. “Damn, EJ. I knew you were good from Mesa, but I never knew your knowledge of music stretched that far. You’re mad talented.” I do it for ya’ll, boo 😘 Even that weird-ass-Morrissey-Emo night. hahaha

Jonpham: I dj’d this dude’s wedding pretty recently. Jon and I have similar mindsets where we try to stay humble but know our worth in regards to what we give back to the hip hop community. I know I’m no scrub DJ and he knows he’s no whack bboy. It was an honor to show you the ropes of DJ’ing and sharing some sets with you during the pandemic.

Anditapandita: No idea how you find me but I’m glad you did! It’s always a special feeling when I meet someone that can not only vibe to my music, but my generic silly lifestyle, too. It was great meeting you at Mesa the other day! I was definitely playing some #quarantinefridays hits for bits of nostalgia.

Fr4ncheesie: According to Bryan, Fr4ncheesie is my looper. Parallel Filipino lives in different states. It was tight getting to know you strictly through the twitch chats knowing Bryan has always wanted to link us up. It was a pleasure dropping some classic John Legend for ya’ll.

Lordnik0n_: A former student’s father. Prior to joining my Twitch sets, he let me know he listened to my mixtapes on Back to School Night. It was the wildest thing ever to hear a parent listen to my ratchet/sleazy mixtapes. I wrote an entire blog post about how special that hip hop night was so I’ll keep this brief. Here it is once more.

Rubadubinatub: One of the only reasons I keep it real at Mesa is to please the bartending staff with what I drop. Crabtree has always been a fan of my shit and I always try my best to throw in some Mobb Deep and Fleetwood Mac when I can.

Aimeegg: It was always fun seeing my sister and Aimee flood the chat with their own conversation. I remember you appreciating hearing Alicia Keys’ A Woman’s Worth knowing it doesn’t get that much love these days. but...THAT’S WHAT I DO. I revive the forgotten but dope.

Ki55my6utth0l3/bbcwif34u: you fucking weirdo

Bkdthvn: Damn. Many memories playing for my boy. Some of those memories include my neighbors, both sets, asking, “what song was ____?” and it being a BKDTHVN song. It’s wild how far you came with music. It was an honor to bless the twitch radiowaves with your shit and it will continue to be an honor to bump Mesa with your shit.

Pbisharat11: thanks for always tuning in. particularly thanks for tuning in and sending this over.

Jspinsir: I will definitely enjoy the select nights where you would partake in Paola and I’s ludicrousness during #quarantinefridays

Itserica143: 😅 thanks for...that

Dj_redline: Damn...It was always a crazy honor for my DJ mentor to bless his presence in my channel. I was able to have a respectable record collection from the stuff you gave me when I was in middle school. I was able to learn the secrets of how to buy beat junkies and ISP skratch records knowing that shit isn’t obvious. It was the foundation I needed before I was lucky enough to be taken in by Dwenz and join Foundation FunKollective. DJ’ing and DJ’ing my way is literally part of me because you showed me the ropes and I’ll forever be grateful.

Jen_lu: My biggest fan on the east coast! It was so humbling to know that during the pandemic her group of friends would look forward to my sets. They even rocked space buns showing their support! I remember the days I had to start early because of the time difference. Love ya’ll to death.

Mylove3169: South Bay in the houuuuuse! Damn. It was always fun to play some classic funk for you. Even the G-Funk brought me back to my days spinning at your parents’ front yard. I definitely wanted to keep my shit Westcoast when you were on. Holla!

Disrupty: A later staple of the quarantine series in 2021. Shit was always fun to see you and mayo reminisce about back in the day knowing I missed out being part of that crew.

Alejandrooo825: My literal neighbors. Kayla heard my patio door open during the pandemic and struck up a conversation. I invited them over to socially distance in my patio as a proper introduction and to talk about the pandemic. They had a squat rack five feet away from where I taught so they heard many lectures as well as shared many ratchet nights on quarantine Fridays. The quarantine was definitely a great way to get to know ya’ll. Definitely loved playing Mac Miller for ya’ll any chance I got.

Snookie23: Oh man--anytime I would be able to sneak in a Freestyle set was because you and Chris wanted to groove at your place and I was happy to oblige. Always loved to shout out Monrovia as much as I could during those late nights.

Claraamontt17: A former student that would study for her APs listening to my rebroadcasts. If it were any other person, I’d be nervous about the shit that I play on twitch--but your taste in music is as ratchet as mine soooo 💃

Sashaaa_i: One of the last quarantine sets consisted of maddd Doja Cat because sashita put me on to it. She even got red lights at her place to match the quarantinefriday vibes 💃💃💃

Earthtovirgo: Always appreciative of strangers finding me and vibing with my set. It really reminds me when I play somewhere in public and I see heads boppin’. I remember you being stoked I played Monsune.

#rememberingthequarantine #quarantinefridays

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langernameohnebedeutung · 6 years

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Hey, I really want to watch the x-men movies, but there are so many and I'm super confused about in which order I should watch them, it kinda feels like there's kind of a star wars thing going on with "maybe the first one is the first one but maybe one of the later ones is actually the first one". Could you help me out there, since your magneto posts are kinda the reason I want to watch them in the first place? (Sorry this is super ramble-y :D)

Hi! - I often have the opposite problem: I try to get people to watch the X-Men Movies but I don’t know which order to best suggest them.

Before I get on with my advice for the general franchise:

Since you said you’re interested in Magneto, I think my easiest suggestion would be to start with X Men: First Class - which gives us Magneto’s background story + him kicking ass as a Nazi hunter and he’s kinda the hero there. The other suggestion would be to start with the original X Men movie from 2000. He’s the antagonist there, but he actually has valid points and makes them. Other good Magnetos are in Days Of Future Past and X Men 2.

Those are just my Magneto-Suggestions, but I’ll come back to him. Not just because you said my posts got you interested, but frankly. Because I stan him.

I make this into two sections, because I feel like I need to explain my reasoning a little, but feel free to skip right to the second half of this post

Pre-Blabla

Basically the X Men Franchise have several sub-categories:

1) The Original Triology - from the early 2000,

X Men,

X Men United

X Men Last Stand.

They play in the “near future” - which basically means present day. The main-characters here are Logan/Wolverine and Rogue but the triology also features the biggest spectrum of X-Men characters and Magneto being a very sarcastic Ian McKellen whose life mostly revolves around taking down anti-mutant politcians and dragging literally everyone. He’s pretty understandable as an antagonist in X Men and in X Men Last Stand and kind of an anti-hero in X Men United.

2) The Wolverine-Solo Movies - along with Deadpool the only X Men Movies that focus on one character in particular:

X Men Origins: Wolverine

The Wolverine

Logan.

They basically cover the entire life of Logan/Wolverine - which is a pretty long life despite his smoking habits. And drinking habits. And almost getting himself killed habits.

3) The Prequels:

X Men First Class

X Men Days Of Future Past,

X Men Apocalypse.

They’re the backstory for Charles, Magneto, Mystique and Hank and from Apocalypse on also for the characters you meet as grown ups in the prequel. (The next one will be Dark Phoenix and it will focus on Jean Grey from what we know).

The prequel movies start in First Class with (flashbacks to) the childhoods of Charles and Erik and Raven/Mystique and usually each movie takes place in a different decade.

X Men First Class is in the 60s, Days of Future Past in the 70s and Apocalypse in the 80s and Dark Phoenix, which will come out this year, is set in the 90s. Some don’t like the decade-skipping, but I like it because it’s really an interesting way to follow the characters. The only thing that would make it better is mockumentary style.

4) -- Deadpool. He’s his own sub-category. Because he’s Deadpool. Basically you can watch Deadpool whenever you want - there’s a few jokes you’ll get more if you’re familiar with the franchise, but basically you’ll get the movie.

There’s also the 2 TV shows “Legion” and “The Gifted”. Legion is about Charles Xavier’s son David Haller and his struggle with his powers and multiple personality disorder. I didn’t have the opportunity to watch Legion yet, but I heard good things.

I did watch The Gifted and I really loved it and since it doesn’t feature any major X Men-characters from the movies or storylines it should be safe to watch at any point. I think the only one from the movies in there was Blink but you didn’t need to know that to see The Gifted, because her movie appereance is chronologically AFTER The Gifted.

Also you get to meet kids of Magneto (Polaris) and of Emma Frost, so that might make it more satisfying to watch it after X Men First Class. If you like Magneto, you’ll likely also love Polaris whose slowly adopting her father’s politics and ideology in the first season and got his powers and a better fashion sense.

More confused then you were before you started watching this? okay.

To The Point: Which Order To Watch Them In

The most straight-forward way to go about it is to watch them in the order they came out:

The Original Triology first, then The Wolverine-Solo Movies, then The Prequels and Deadpool. Of course, Deadpool, Logan and The Wolverine all came out during the Prequels, but plotwise it doesn’t make much of a difference (although I recommend watching The Wolverine before Days Of Future Past, because it connect The Last Stand and Days of Future Past a bit better. If you want to be as precise as possible you can look up the order of publication here: x

As I said, that’s the most straightfoward way to go about it, but you can take liberties which brings me to my second suggestion - which is one I often make to people and earn glassy eyes.

If you want to get a “broader” taste of the franchise, a good idea is to take turns and watch a bit of each. So here’s a suggested order which gets you into contact with every part of the franchise quickly without sacrificing too much of the “overall” plot.

First of all, as I said, Deadpool can be watched at any time. The later you watch it the more jokes you get - but because it’s Rated R and the others aren’t, they can’t really use it to further the overall plot and you’ll always be fine.

The same goes for Logan. Of course, Logan is based on probably the most Earth-shattering event in X-Men history, but so far the only mention of that event is in the movie Logan and no one knows what really happened yet, so don’t let that deter you. If you watch it, you know as much about it as anyone else.

For the others I would recommend:

Either the original X Men from 2000 or X Men First Class first, because you don’t need pre-knowledge for either of them. (In fact, X Men First Class might be a bit more exciting if you don’t know exactly where everyone is going to end up. Also you will get into it with a lot more characterisation and motivation for the shit Magneto does. Although I think the original triology also gives him enough movivation.) But if you start with First Class, I would still watch X Men next.

After that I would recommend X Men United because it’s the best way to follow the storyline of the main-characters.

X Men - Wolverine Origins (My only suggestion here is to watch X Men United before you watch Wolverine Origins, because it would kinda spoil stuff for you. Wolverine Origins also has kinda a reputation for one of the worst movies in the franchise, but personally I didn’t think it was all that bad. I enjoyed it.).

X Men Last Stand

The Wolverine - In theory I’d say you can watch The Wolverine all on its own, but it would spoil the finale of Last Stand for you, so I would watch that first and it does connect it a bit more to Days Of Future Past so I would recommend watching it before that.

Days Of Future Past - Finally another prequel movie. Aka the Time -Travel one. (Yes I’m sure the Avengers will go there in Infinity Wars 2, but let it be noted, the X Men did it first and they did it pretty well.) The thing is, the storyline is divided, featuring the “Old” characters from the original triology (although they’re literally old now) and the cast of the prequels living a pretty shitty life in the 1970s and suffering the consequences of the Vietnam War and the JFK assassination. Things that hit mutants pretty hard apparently.

Here’s the thing about Days of Future Past and it’s general X Men Movie-weirdness: There are two versions of the movie. The normal “Days of Future Past” and “Days of Future Past: The Rogue Cut.” The “Rogue Cut” actually features Rogue from the original theory. The normal cut doesn’t. She’s cut from the entire movie. So while you can basically watch Days Of Future Past at any time and get the general idea (the most important one I would recommend watching before Days of Future Past is X Men First Class), if you watched the original triology and liked Rogue as a character, you might want to go for the Rogue cut. The DVDs/Blu-Rays don’t really cost more and you learn about an additional character.

X Men Apocalypse: I have issues with the movie, but well. It exists. It introduces the grown-ups from the X Men school in the original triology as children and explain how they met Charles. I think X Men Apocalypse can also be watched at almost any point, because it doesn’t really feature much of the overall storyline - it’s certainly easier to place anywhere than Days Of Future Past.

Dark Phoenix - As I said, this one isn’t out yet, but from what I read I recommend watching at least X Men Apocalypse before you watch that, because the focus will be on the young Jean Grey as well as other characters introduced there.

When it comes to Magneto, the movie sounds promising too, because from what the makers said so far it sees him mentoring Jean after a break-down and building up Genosha, the mutant sanctuary island that he ruled over in the comics for a while. Also there’s been a promo pic of a funeral and ever since I feel dread coiling inside my stomach and everyone is speculating who will die.

Again, fit Deadpool and Logan in there how you like. There will also be New Mutants coming out soon - we don’t know all that much about that really, but none of the major characters seem to feature, so you’ll likely be fine watching that as well.

Also if you’re interesting in a (well-written) Magneto I recommend the animated show Wolverine and The X Men (which also sees him as the ruler of Genosha and there’s a lot of focus on him and his relationship with his children in that one). Also there’s one episode of Iron Man_ Armoured Adventures (”The X-Factor”) which does pretty well by Mags.

Most importantly: Due to writing and ret-conning and Time Travel, the X Men Franchise is a bit of a mess when it comes to continuity. Even if you’re watching this in the perfect order, there will be things that JUST DON’T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE (And not just that Magneto doesn’t age for 40 years and has like 5 years left to go from Fassbender to McKellen).

Basically - have fun with it. Watch whatever looks fun and interesting to you - you’ll probably get the basic story of every one of them and if you want to make sure that you would get one or wonder about any basics you would need to know to watch one of the movies, feel free to send me an ask.

Have fun and I hope you enjoy them!

#X Men #fandom #marvel #I hope this confusing mess helps you and doesn't just scare you away for good.#Anonymous

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oswald-hanciles-posts · 5 years

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THE OSWALD HANCILES COLUMN

THE TICKING TIME BOMB: YOUTH POWER CAN PREVENT THE EXPLOSION!

The issue on the ground is: JOBS FOR ESPECIALLY YOUTH. I have been spurred to write another article on "The Ticking Time Bomb problem of youth of employable age who are unemployed" by a debate in the Development Bonthe Island Whatsapp forum.

It has been acknowledged as a "Ticking Time Bomb problem". Over the past ten years, I have written many articles in mainstream media, and on social media, warning about that "Ticking Time Bomb problem" of youth of employable age who are unemployed - for Africa; not just for Sierra Leone. What are the solutions?

The first solution is to reflect deeply on my following words.

YOUTH ARISE!!!

I am the BRAIN of a youth group called "Youth Arise!!!". To better understand that fact, you have to put it into historical context. The other co-founders of Youth Arise were Emmanuel Saffa Abdulai (a famous lawyer today; and now made more famous as the most successful Chairman of the Premier League for football in our country); and Mohamed Sulaiman Massaquoi (now National Coordinator of the Strategic Communications Unit in the Ministry of Information and Communications). They were in their early 20s. Youth Arise was founded on May 21, 2000 - that was just after the May 8, 2000 civil society demonstration against, and routing of, RUF leader, Foday Sankoh, at his residence on the Westend affluent suburb in Freetown.

Foday Sankoh had been ensconced in a relatively posh house in Freetown after the Lome Peace Agreement of 1999 made him "Equivalent to Vice President"; and Chairman of the Strategic Minerals Commission. The Lome Peace Agreement legally gave Foday Sankoh the powers to cancel all existing mineral exploitation licences; and to determine who would get mineral exploitation licenses, and exploitation of other "strategic resources" (which could include fishing and other marine resources).

The Lome Peace Agreement gave Foday Sankoh the powers to determine how revenues from the exploitation of these resources would be used. For example, if the government would be paid $200,000,000 as taxes and royalties for diamond sales, Foday Sankoh would have said, "We must use that money to construct lowcost housing for poor people living in slums in Freetown". It is not clear in the Lome Peace Agreement whether Parliament or the President would have the powers to counter the wish of the Chairman of the Strategic Minerals Commission, Foday Sankoh. It appeared to me as if Foday Sankoh - as a person; and not the RUF he led as an entity - was given more powers in the economic realm than the President of the Republic of Sierra Leone, according to the 1991 Constitution. If Foday Sankoh had been patient to exercise those disproportionate powers, he would easily had won more political capital than President Tejan Kabbah and his SLPP government. That's why I call the Lome Peace Agreement a "Treaty of Capitulation" - capitulation to one of the nastiest and most brutal rebel groups (or, terrorist groups) in modern history. The parallel could be this: after the horrors of Nazi Germany of Adolf Hitler had been discovered in 1945; after Hitler's holocaust on 6 million Jews, the Allied Powers decided to form a European Union government, and make Adolf Hitler "equivalent to Vice President"; and other leading Nazi party members who provided leadership for the unspeakable atrocities, and the horrific five years Second World War made cabinet ministers. That would be unthinkable for the white man. But, what would be unthinkable for the white man was foisted on Sierra Leone by the international community.

I was Secretary General of the All Political Parties Youth Association (APPYA) in 1999 when there was nation-wide consultations at the Bank of Sierra Leone Complex at Kingtom in Freetown on the stance of the people, and government, of Sierra Leone, to the RUF rebels and AFRC sobels - who had successfully waged a scorch earth strategy; twice took over the capital city of Sierra Leone, Freetown; and gained considerable diplomatic recognition. President Tejan Kabbah famously read the mood of the country when he said at the opening of that Bank of Sierra Leone Complex consultative meetings something like this: "If they come and cut off the hand of your babies and brothers; raped your mothers and boys; burn you alive inside your houses, would you want them to be part of your government?" There was a deafening "Nooooo!" to President Tejan Kabbah's question.

The Chairman of the Human Rights Commission then, Dr. Kadie Sesay, who was coordinating the consultative meetings, had asked for groups to send in their written positions to her Commission. APPYA sent theirs. The consensus of views by groups - students; drivers; petty traders; farmers, etc. - that reached the public domain was implacable opposition of the people of Sierra Leone against having the RUF rebels and AFRC sobels in government, what was then known as "power sharing". That was the inflexible position of APPYA.

Dr. Kadie Sesay (who later became a cabinet minister in the Tejan Kabbah government between 2002 and 2007; who was vice presidential candidate to presidential candidate, Retired Brigadier Maada Bio, in the 2012 presidential election) arranged to let some of the civil society groups travel to Lome, Togo, when the negotiations were being done. APPYA tried hard to be part of it. APPYA was rejected. Why?

From the press releases, and press conferences of APPYA, Dr. Kadie Sesay knew that APPYA would not be manipulated - and APPYA would go public with any nonsense they tried.

Dr. Kadie Sesay never published the views of the diverse groups on their stance to the RUF rebels and AFRC sobels in Lome. (I hope that the Access to Information law can now be invoked, and these views can now be made public). I suspect that the Lome Peace Agreement went against 80 percent of what the people of Sierra Leone wanted. In other words, the Lome Peace Agreement was a BETRAYAL of the people of Sierra Leone.

ONLY THE RIGHT LEADERSHIP WILL TACKLE YOUTH UNEMPLOYMENT PROBLEM

How does this connect with the Ticking Time Bomb problem of youth of employable age who are unemployed? This problem would never be solved when we have political, religious, social leadership that expressly or implicitly have always betrayed the people of Africa, of Sierra Leone - like they did in the Lome Peace Agreement. The 'youth unemployment bomb' is certain to explode when we have too many in the leadership of Sierra Leone, of Africa, who are mere 'book people' with Bachelor's, Master's and doctorate degrees, but are largely devoid of knowledge and wisdom. This Ticking Time Bomb problem of youth of employable age who are unemployed will detonate in Sierra Leone and unleash a scenario worse than our 'rebel war' between 1991 and 2002 when we have too many of our leadership who believe in Orwellian Big Lies, or, are too cowardly to challenge these Big Lies. This Ticking Time Bomb problem of youth unemployment cannot be solved by too many of a leadership who are 98% more concerned about their own comfort, sending their children to the best schools in Sierra Leone and in Europe and America. And have their foreign passports in their back pockets ready to run away to London or New York at the first sign of serious problem in Freetown. The problem of the Ticking Time Bomb problem of youth of employable age who are unemployed can only be solved when... When?

The youth must search for, and empower, leadership with intellectual depth and scope - those who have read widely, and have spiritual strength to see through Orwellian Big Lies and stand up against them. A leadership with proven track record of patriotism and service to Sierra Leone - those who did not run away from the people during their Darkest Hours; those with a track record of speaking against evils in Sierra Leone. Leadership of people with theoretical and practical knowledge in Religion, History, Sociology, Economics, Psychology, Media Communications, Information Technology... Leadership. LEADERSHIP ABLE TO IDENTIFY THOSE WHO HAVE ALREADY CREATED JOBS IN THE PRIVATE SECTOR AND TO ENCOURAGE THEM TO GUIDE OTHERS TO CREATE JOBS (Like Engineer Andrew Kelli, a founding partner of CEMMATS engineering consultancy that has developed into about the most successful indigenous company in the history of Sierra Leone!).

The Ticking Time Bomb problem of youth unemployment would worsen when we continue with the toxic politics in Sierra Leone; the disguised CIVIL WAR between the leadership of the Temne-speaking of the Northwest and the leadership of the Mende-speaking of the Southeast - that which masquerades as fierce APC-versus-SLPP competitive democratic politics.

"THE YOUTH GOT THE POWER!!"

The slogan or the chant of Youth Arise goes like this: "Youth Arise!!!!!", and with a clenched fist raised up, the youth should respond, "yaaaa!!!(three times). "Who got the power!?" RESPONSE: "The youth got the power!!!". "Who got the power!?". RESPONSE: "We got the power!!". Yes!! The youth have the power to choose their leadership. The youth have the power to prevent the Ticking Time Bomb of youth unemployment from exploding. If the youth do not act fast to PREVENT this ticking time bomb from exploding, they will be ten times worse off than they are today.

WIPE OUT THE ILLUSION OF GOVERNMENT JOBS

Too many Sierra Leonean youth delude themselves that when they campaign for a political party and their party wins the presidency, and fervently support their party in everything they do, they would get well-paid jobs in government. The youth of the SLPP today who think that way are fooling themselves - just like the youth of the APC when when President Ernest Bai Koroma was in power fooled themselves. Given the way the economy is structured, given the way the public service functions, if for example, there are 1,000,000 unemployed youth, government would only provide employment for 10,000, at best; 990,000 youth would not be employed by government. Given the way government, and Parliament, and the Judiciary ... interacts with the private sector, at the very best, the private sector would only provide another 50,000 jobs. Do you arithmetic. What then is the solution?

WAR ON LAZINESS AND YOUTH UNEMPLOYMENT

Of far greater relevance and urgency than the 'War on Rape', or, the Free Quality Education ... is the War on Laziness and Youth Unemployment! The two are fused - inseparable in Sierra Leone. We start in government.

President Maada Bio in his early months in power last year started by making spot checks in government offices in Freetown at 8:00 a.m. - to make sure government officials are behind their desks at the designated time. We have not been told what has happened to those senior government officials who President Maada Bio didn't meet behind their desks at 8:00a.m. Some government offices now have electronic time checks that staff log in the time they go to work. The public has not been told what punitive measures have been taken against late comers. If one judges from the low density of traffic in Freetown between 5a.m. and 7:30a.m, one can conclude that President Maada Bio's Lt.SAJ-Musa-type-tactic-of-the- NPRC-era has been treated as a big joke by government workers. Go to Youyi Building at 9:00a.m. and you are likely to find few senior staff there. Using military-government style to insist that government workers are at work on time could only be 10 percent of the cancerous problem of laziness in the public sector. The real problem is that government have been organized in such a way to encourage laziness, even, to reward laziness (and stealing of public money!).

Most often in government offices when officials are supposed to be 'working', they would actually be playing; or, gossiping; or, nowadays, watching Nigerian of Filipino or Mexican films. Their directors and supervisors would join them. Their mimisters would be likely engrossed in talking endless politics - that is, the rare times they would be in their offices, and not travelling to Asia, Europe, or, the United States to attend international conferences. There is a scandalous low productivity in the public sector in Sierra Leone. The fact is that in government in Sierra Leone, working hard and being honest to serve the country is a bad thing.

Ministers know that they don't stay long on their jobs because they are productive. In previous governments, ministers knew they stay long on their jobs because they steal a lot of government money, cut deals, and share some of it with whoever is President, and give some to senior party officials; and throw some crumbs to youth who would sing and dance behind such minister. President Tejan Kabbah set up a mechanism to monitor PRODUCTIVITY by ministers. President Ernest Bai Koroma expanded on the monitoring mechanism for government Ministries, Departments, and Agencies(MDAs). It was another big joke. Joke against the people of Sierra Leone. I know. I worked at State House between January, 2012 and March, 2018. The units set up to monitor and appraise the MDAs were made up of highly qualified and experienced experts; they did excellent job of researching what the MDAs did. They presented it to the President. He ignored them. The President maintained in office those ministers who he apparently believed would win votes for the APC in elections. For example, if the Minister of Fisheries and Marine Resources allows Chinese fishing boats to enter our territorial waters and steal hundreds of millions of dollars worth of our fish, as long as the Chinese give him $1,000,000, and he uses this money to mobilize youth to vote for the party, he would be maintained as a cabinet minister forever. This was not peculiar to the APC government of President Ernest Bai Koroma. It was the same with the SLPP government of President Tejan Kabbah. This skewed way of governance at the minister's level is filtered down to the civil service.

The civil servants know they don't get promoted because they work hard; or come up with wonderful ideas. Whether they work hard or sleep most of the time in their offices, they get promoted anyway. The importance of senior civil servants depend on how well they guide their ministers to steal government money; the people's money. Senior civil servants don't bother to press their staff to work hard. They didn't hire them. They can't fire them. In 2016, I had to deal with a Permanent Secretary at the Ministry of Health and Sanitation who was pecking on the keyboard of his computer, saying to me sorrowfully: "As you can see, I am trying for you O! I am typing the letter myself. I haven't seen my secretary for three days. As you know, they all have their own lane. There is nothing I can do about it". Having worked at the NRA for eight years, and at State House for six years, I had empathy with him: there would be junior staff more powerful than their heads of departments/units - because of their membership of the party in power, or, their connections with powerful governing party politicians. That is why the way government is structured means they can never be the stimulant to provide jobs for even 20% of unemployed youth. The options?

REVOLUTIONARY YOUTH GIVING MORE POWER TO A REVOLUTIONARY PRESIDENT

The President has to be REVOLUTIONARY enough to revolutionize government! And make government more productive. The President will be incapable of overhauling government if the youth don't give him more Youth Power. The Temne-speaking youth of the Northeast and Mende-speaking youth of the Southeast should stop fighting among themselves. They should stop fooling themselves that if they kill themselves over either of the two major political parties they would get jobs. The youth should UNITE behind the ideas of overhauling the governance systems; unite to support the productive people; unite to fight corruption. If the youth don't do what I prescribe here, they would be committing suicide. If President Maada Bio doesn't heed my advice here, he would be committing political suicide. The choice is his. The choice is yours, O, youth. YOU GOT THE POWER!!

I pause,

Oswald Hanciles, The Guru

April 19, 2019

06:50 hours in Freetown, Sierra Leone (PLEASE WIDELY CIRCULATE IN THE PRINT AND ELECTRONIC MEDIA).

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nofomoartworld · 7 years

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Hyperallergic: Sci-Fi Films that Question What It Means to Be Human

Still from Holy Motors (2012), France/Germany, written and directed by Leos Carax (courtesy of Photofest)

When the summer months drive city dwellers toward beaches, lakes, and mountains, multiplexes attempt to keep them indoors by providing a different kind of escape: transporting viewers to distant worlds populated by wondrous creatures in Hollywood’s loudest, most expensive blockbusters. New York City’s repertory cinemas similarly engage audiences during these months with more intelligent science fiction, challenging the mind in addition to the senses. While the summer science fiction series is a common repertory staple, MoMA’s Future Imperfect: The Uncanny in Science Fiction stands apart from the rest with its interest in the uncommon.

“I was hoping at one point to do a science fiction series in which I wouldn’t have to show 2001: A Space Odyssey,” jokes curator Josh Siegel. “I have nothing against it, but when you go through the usual suspects, you’re not left with much room for the less-known films.”

To achieve his goal of showcasing the buried gems of science fiction cinema, Siegel developed three criteria for work featured in Future Imperfect. First, characters could not travel through space. Second, the movies could not feature alien invasions or monsters. Finally, the films needed a present or near-present setting.

These guidelines helped Siegel shine a spotlight on films that question what it means to be human. He started with a list of 900 films and eventually whittled it down to the 60 plus offerings featured in the series, where classics from auteurs like Darren Aronofsky (Pi) and Alfonso Cuarón (Children of Men) stand side-by-side with blockbusters (Minority Report, Groundhog Day), indie milestones (Derek Jarman’s Jubilee), and foreign favorites (Battle Royale, Los cronocrímines.)

In a recent phone call, Siegel discussed the series of cerebral escapism at its August midpoint.

Still from Battle Royale aka Batoru rowaiaru (2000), Japan, directed by Kinji Fukasaku (courtesy of Photofest)

Jon Hogan: The series features blockbusters as well as avant-garde film and video art; what are some of the areas where these two categories of films differ most starkly in their projections of possible futures, and what are some elements about which they’re surprisingly in agreement?

Josh Siegel: In some ways, I don’t differentiate between the two. I think of films as good or less good. You’re either a visionary or you’re not. You can be a visionary working with no money, or you can be a visionary working with a lot of money.

JH: The selection for the series is international, representing 22 countries including the United States, the Soviet Union, China, India, Cameroon, Mexico, and more. What geographic trends stand out in the films’ portrayals of alternate dimensions?

JS: Certainly some have political roots. Obviously Kafkaesque, dystopic visions of the future lend themselves well to people living under Communism in the ‘70s and ‘80s. Invasión from Argentina is an allegory of life in ‘68, which was of course fraught with peril. It’s evident in quite a few Argentine films of the time, some of which were made by actors who were disappeared soon after. This is anticipating Argentina’s entrance into that dark period. Films like the wonderful Afronauts are a sendup of the way in which African countries were pawns in a Cold War game. It’s an inventive approach to their invisibility.

Still from A Scanner Darkly (2006), USA, directed by Richard Linklater (courtesy of Photofest)

JH: The series features several animated selections like Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence and A Scanner Darkly. The most crucial benefit of animation is its blank canvas, lending the ability to make any event — no matter its unlikeliness — occur in a realistic context. How do these films take advantage of the limitless possibilities that animation allows?

JS: One of the compelling things about Linklater’s A Scanner Darkly is that he found in animation a kind of analogue to the trippy, hallucinatory experience of Philip K Dick’s writing. In the case of Ghost in the Shell 2, it makes possible social and political critiques by being a “mere” animated film.

Still from Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence (2004), Japan, directed by Mamoru Oshii, (courtesy of Production I.G.)

JH: CGI is the type of animation most common in modern science fiction films. My favorite piece in the series is Leos Carax’s Holy Motors. It’s a feature-length celebration of what can be accomplished without CGI, from Denis Lavant’s fluid acrobatics to the detailed makeup effects that help him embody different characters. What do you see as the benefits and detractions of using CGI in science fiction films?

JS: If you think of a filmmaker like Herzog who doesn’t use any special effects in his films but can still evoke what it is to be in the middle of a desert encountering a mirage, I don’t think you need CG to elicit the same kind of experience. Having said that, obviously there are certain things you need CG for. It would be hard to do Ex Machina without the use of some CG effects. They eschewed CG effects in the sense of using green screen, but they did a lot in post-production. It’s a little hard to convey what a humanoid or an android looks like without CG without it looking campy. Campy can have a virtue; that’s one of the joys of [The Craven Sluck director Mike] Kuchar for example. But it does seem to me that CG is a tool like any other in filmmaking. It has its uses and its abuses.

Still from The Crazies (Code Name: Trixie) (1973), USA, written and directed by George A. Romero (courtesy of Photofest)

JH: It’s interesting to see The Crazies in the series, as it is a lesser-known film of a recently deceased legend: George Romero. How did this film expand on his legacy as a zombie maestro?

JS: As it happens, we worked closely with George on the restoration of Night of the Living Dead that we just premiered several months ago. So it’s a little bittersweet for us because we had the opportunity to get to know him better and really convey to him how much we admire and cherish his film. I had already planned to show The Crazies for precisely the reason you had mentioned. Obviously, George Romero has the blessing and curse of being associated with one genre when in fact he was a kind of scathing observer of American life [and] went way beyond the zombie genre.

JH: In a series focusing on alternate visions of the here and now, which film do you think best captures the current moment? I lean toward Strange Days, which was a revelation to rewatch months back.

JS: I could argue that any of these films is relevant to our present day predicaments. Given that I just read an article the other day that the potency of human sperm has plummeted over the last 40 years, I thought of this film It’s Great to be Alive, one of the early Fox nitrate films from 1931 [sic]. It’s kind of a “Last Man on Earth” story. All of the men have succumbed to a plague called “masculitis.” There’s only one man standing, and — of course — every woman wants a piece of him. It’s a kind of wacky pre-Code comedy from Fox.

Still from Los cronocrímenes (Timescrimes) (2008), Spain, directed by Nacho Vigalondo

JH: Do you have a personal favorite in the series, or something you’re especially excited to share with the public?

JS: It’s impossible for me to say. All of these films excite me in some way or another. I think that Fassbinder’s World on a Wire is an epic film for many reasons, not least of which is its 1970s decor. I have a particular fondness for Polish cinema, so I gravitate toward Andrzej Wajda’s film. It has a wonderful kind of sardonic humor that we know from Polish cinema. These are all films I’d like to watch repeatedly.

Future Imperfect: The Uncanny in Science Fiction runs at the Museum of Modern Art (11 W 53rd St, Midtown West, Manhattan) until August 31.

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thisaintascenereviews · 7 years

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Ten Of My All-Time Favorite Bands By Bradley Christensen

It’s not a secret that I listen to a lot of music, and something that I’ve wanted to do for a long time is talk about my favorite bands. I’ve talked about a few, but I thought it would be fun to make a quick list of ten of my favorites. I’ll definitely make more lists, because I have tons of my favorite bands. That’s the problem with me. I listen to so much music, I don’t have favorite bands, favorite songs, or even favorite albums anymore, because it would be so hard to rank them. I mean, I have a few bands, artists, and albums that are definitely at the top for me, but aside from a top three or four, it would be hard for me to rank everything else. I don’t have a definite favorite, but I thought it would be cool to highlight certain bands, artists, and things like that, just to recognize some music that’s meant a lot to me in the last ten years that I’ve been into music. These aren’t my definite all-time favorites, minus a couple, but there are more bands and artists that I love. This list would just be composed of ten of them. Like I said, they’re in no order whatsoever, because I have a hard time ranking things like that (my favorite albums of the year is much different, because I only have that year to pick from, but when it’s of all time, that’s when it’s a lot harder). I hope you enjoy, though, and if you’d like to, give me some of your favorite bands. Maybe we’ll have something in common, or I’ll have something new to check out. I’m always listening to new stuff, and it wouldn’t hurt for me to add more to my neverending list of stuff to check out. One more little disclaimer, too; I’ve talked about some bands that I’d consider to be my favorites plenty of times, and I wanted to include a couple of those bands / artists, but I’ll space those out, since I want to talk about stuff that I haven’t talked about, either ever, or that I haven’t talked about in years.

10. Chevelle

Starting off this list properly, this one might surprise some people, because I’ve never talked about this band in terms of being one of my favorites, but the Illinois hard-rock band Chevelle is a band that I’ve talked about a lot. If it weren’t for my best friend Jake introducing me to these guys maybe four or five years ago, I wouldn’t have come across them, because hard-rock is not a style of music I listen to. I wanted to talk about one of these bands, because I listen to a handful, but out of all of them, this is the best one for me. Chevelle is a good example of a band that makes things interesting, unique, and different, especially with how other bands in this style can be boring, generic, and lifeless. Chevelle’s last couple of albums are easily my favorites, because they have a good middle ground between the sounds that they’ve been toying with over the years, but all of their other albums are good, too. This is a cool band, though, and while they’re necessarily among the top tier acts that I love dearly, Chevelle is a band that I’m always excited to listen to, especially when they put out new material.

9. Broadside

This is one of the newer bands on the list, and possibly one of the only newer bands in the whole series, but I felt like putting some modern stuff here, too, because I wanted to highlight bands and artists from all eras, genres, and styles of music. Broadside have only been around for the last few years, but their two albums are great slices of pop-punk. I fell in love with these guys when I first listened to their debut LP, Old Bones, just a couple of years ago. These guys know how to make pop-punk catchy, energetic, and fun, whereas a lot of bands today aren’t doing that. I used to listen to pop-punk religiously, but I don’t do that anymore, just because a lot of bands don’t do anything for me. They don’t have the same effect as other bands once did, but Broadside captures everything that I love about pop-punk, as well as why I got into the genre in the first place. Sure, the genre’s kind of lacking now, but at the same time, it’s bands like Broadside that keep my ear closer to the genre than I otherwise would have thought. There’s nothing all that unique about this band, but they do what they do well, like I said, and that’s all you need sometimes.

8. D’Angelo

Throwing it back to the 90s, D’Angelo is a classic artist in the R&B / neo-soul movement, and I’d be hardpressed to say that he’s not a favorite of mine. I’ll admit that I wasn’t sold on his last LP, 2014’s Black Messiah, but that was because I wasn’t into R&B, let alone the weirder stuff. Listening through his first two albums, however, those being 1995’s Brown Sugar (which is my favorite out of the three) and 2000’s Voodoo, I’ve become a huge fan. I love D’Angelo’s voice, it’s absolutely fantastic, his lyrics are very well-written, and his sound is very experimental, weird, but interesting, unique, and still accessible. He’s a classic R&B artist, even though he releases once a decade, pretty much. I just realized that, too – each of his albums came out in the next decade. That’s the thing with D’Angelo, though, as his sound and influence is so great, that people don’t mind waiting for years for a new album. When they get it, they’ll know it’ll be good, because it’s D’Angelo. You don’t need to say anything else. If you’re looking to get into R&B, especially 90s R&B, D’Angelo is a great place to start. Brown Sugar, his debut LP, is the best one, because it’s the most accessible. If you like what you hear on that album, that’s when I’ve move into his later work, even though it’s a bit more off-putting and experimental in a basic sense.

7. Carly Rae Jepsen

There’s this trend in pop music that’s been happening for the last few years, in which 80s new wave and synthpop has been making a comeback. I’m very mixed on it, because I’m all for retro music coming back, but this whole 80s influence is really, really overplayed. I’m getting pretty sick of it, honestly, but it’s because these acts don’t do anything with the sound that makes it interesting. Carly Rae Jepsen, however, does. Her major label debut, Kiss, wasn’t exactly an 80s pop record. It was more of a generic, modern, and slick pop album that I’ll admit that I love a lot. It’s a great record, and it’s more than the one-hit-wonder than she’s been out to be. Her sophomore LP, 2015’s Emotion, is where she really shines. The 80s new wave sound works very well for her, especially since her voice has that sound, and the lyrics are very innocent and sweet, perfect for a light and fluffy sound. She also makes her lyrics interesting, too, all the while having some catchy as hell hooks. She did release an EP with some bonus tracks and b-sides from the album last year, which I really liked, but in terms of pop music, it doesn’t get much better than Carly Rae Jepsen. She’s one of my favorite pop artists, and while she’s not exactly a household name in the mainstream, the underground and indie scenes are all over her, but for the best reasons.

6. Earth, Wind & Fire

I’ve talked about the 90s, as well as the 80s, but let’s kick it back to the 1970s. Specifically, let’s kick it back to the 70s funk scene. Out of every band in that scene, there’s one that I would easily consider to be my favorite – Earth, Wind & Fire. This Chicago outfit is one of the most well-recognized and famous groups of all time, but I absolutely love them to death. There’s a lot to love here, and if you’re already familiar with them, you know what they are. The vocals of this group are amazing, as well as their vocal harmonies, the lyrics have always been very top notch, whether they’re singing about a more politically-charged topic, or they’re just singing about love, and their sound is very eclectic but accessible. These guys and girls essentially brought funk music to a mainstream audience. Funk, during the early 70s, was more underground, raw, and unpolished. It wasn’t mainstream friendly, but Earth, Wind & Fire, among plenty of other bands, brought the style to the mainstream by adding an R&B, soul, and pop sensibility to it, making them one of the best-selling bands of all time. Even their last album, that I picked up earlier this year, is really, really good. It came out in 2013, I believe, but it’s surprisingly a solid record, way better than it has any right to be. It shows that the band’s still got it after all of these years, and I’m glad, because Earth, Wind & Fire is an iconic band, and one of the best of all time, so this is one band that everyone should listen, even if it’s just once, because they’re amazing.

5. Hands Like Houses

Chevelle was the first hard-rock / metal-ish band that I wanted to talk about here, but I wanted to talk about one more – Hands Like Houses. When I first listened to Hands Like Houses about five years ago, I was just getting out of the post-hardcore / metalcore scene, but this band drew me into their sound, because it wasn’t anything like I’d really heard before. They were a post-hardcore band that had “heavier” instrumentation, but their vocalist was essentially a pop / R&B vocalist. The vocalist reminded me a lot of Fall Out Boy frontman Patrick Stump, but not because of his tone, just because of how his vocals blatantly had a soulful groove to them, while the music was heavier and more rock-based. I thought it was cool, and I was pretty into their debut, but by the time their second album came out, I wasn’t too crazy about the band, or even that style anymore. It was really solid, though, but what sold me on them was their latest LP, Dissonant. Released last year, I wasn’t expecting much with it, only because I wasn’t hugely into that kind of music anymore, but damn, that album blew me away. It was everything I wanted the album to be, as they went more into their pop side, but the heavier instrumentation was still there. The hooks on that thing were utterly fantastic, and their vocalist really shined to his full potential. I don’t keep up with the metalcore scene anymore, because it’s not my style at all, but there are a few bands that really capture my attention. This is one of them, though, and I’ll happily check out anything that they put out.

4. Chance The Rapper

I can’t say that I have a lot of favorite rappers, but that’s not because I don’t listen to a lot of hip-hop, because I do. The thing is, though, I haven’t heard a whole lot that’s really blown me away to the point of being my favorite. I’ve got some stuff, though, and one of those rappers / rap groups for me would Chance The Rapper. That’s such a clichéd thing to say, though, because Chance is one those rappers that every white kid likes, pretty much, but I’ll be damned, he’s great. Acid Rap is the mixtape that got him on the map, and it’s the first thing I heard from him, but it was great. It’s one of my favorite hip-hop projects, as well as one of my favorite albums of all time, and for good reason. What made him end up on this list, though, is his last mixtape, Coloring Book. Released last year, I wasn’t into the tape when I first heard it, but that’s because I wasn’t into soul music just yet. After getting more into soul music, I decided to go back to the mixtape, and goddamn, it blew me the hell away. What a fantastic project, and I’m really bummed that I kind of wrote it off when I first talked about it, because the album is great. I did eventually rectify that review with a Rewind Review, but I wish I was really into it when I first listened to it. Ah well, Chance The Rapper is a great MC (his voice can be annoying to people, though, but it doesn’t bother me), with some great lyrics and wordplay, as well as an ear for unique sounds and ideas. Hell, the dude won a Grammy, despite being totally independent of a record label. How dope is that? Chance’s been going places ever since Acid Rap dropped, and he’s only getting bigger and bigger.

3. Hall & Oates

I’ve been on a Hall & Oates kick lately, and if there’s one band that I instantly had to put on the first episode of this series, it’s them. Hell, if I’m being honest, my top three favorite bands are on the first episode here, because I love Hall & Oates that much. I first got into these guys around 2009 / 2010, as I found a copy of the Ultimate Collection, or something. It was a two-disc greatest hits album, and despite mainly being into metalcore, post-hardcore, indie-rock, and pop-punk, I was loving that record. I listened to it a lot for a straight summer, as well as plenty more classic rock / pop albums, but Hall & Oates has always remained one of my favorite groups. The thing is, though, I haven’t really gotten into their albums until the last few years. I picked up a ton of their albums, but when it came to talk about them, I didn’t know what to say, because I wasn’t super knowledgeable. In fact, I was going to write a review of 1981’s Private Eyes, but it wasn’t a good one, so I scrapped it. I want to talk about these albums again, though, but that’s what kickstarted the 80s binge that I’ve been on. Anyway, Hall & Oates is a band that hits every checkmark for me when it comes to stuff that I look for in music: Daryl Hall has such an amazing voice, and the harmonies both him and John Oates do are fantastic (I like Oates’ voice, too, and whenever one of his songs come on, I don’t mind listening to it, but his voice isn’t quite as expressive as Hall’s, unfortunately), and their sound is a great mix between soul, pop, R&B, and rock. Their earlier stuff is more soul and folk-based, but it’s their string of 80s albums that set them apart from a lot of other bands and artists from the 80s. If you’ve never listened to Hall & Oates, you’re totally missing out, because they’re responsible for some of the best, as well as catchiest, songs in all of existence.

2. The Beatles

Truth be told, I’ve always hated The Beatles being my favorite band, because it’s such an obvious choice, right? Oh, yeah, I like The Beatles, but so does literally everyone else, but the thing about that is that I realized after a long while is that it’s okay to enjoy the most “obvious” bands and artists to like. That doesn’t mean they’re any less great, and hell, there’s a lot to talk about when it comes to The Beatles. That’s why I’ll keep this relatively short, but come on, you all know why they’re here. They’re a great, influential, and awesome band that influenced both rock and roll and psychedelic music in the early to mid 1960s. All four of their members went on to have successful solo careers, even if I really love one of them, and their place in rock history will always be cemented, because they released some of the best albums of all time. Hell, it’s often considered that one of their albums is the best album ever released, but that’s definitely up for debate. Regardless, though, The Beatles has been one of my all time favorite bands for the last few years now, and it all started by having an album of their number one singles. Well, the only album that wasn’t represented was Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, because a lot of the singles were banned from radio, thanks to being quite “edgy” for the time. I picked up that album, because it was the only one I hadn’t heard any songs from (well, I knew a lot of those songs, I just didn’t have any of them in a physical format), so I picked that up, and the rest is history. I could talk about this band forever, but you get the idea, right?

1. Fall Out Boy

For this list, I had to pick my all time favorite band. I had to talk about them, even though I’ve talked about them a lot this year. That would be Fall Out Boy, and like with The Beatles, I’ll keep it short. This band means so much to me, because they’re the first band I ever loved. Infinity On High, which came out ten years ago, is the album that got me into music as I know it. It’s a great album, too, and it’s held up incredibly well over the last ten years. It’s easily their best album, at least to me, but their new stuff is great, too. I feel like I’m in the minority of people, especially diehard fans, who think so, but that’s okay. This band really stuck out to me for many reasons over the years, whether it was vocalist Patrick Stump, lyricist / bassist Pete Wentz, or the overall sound. Stump is one of my all time favorite vocalists, which is a list I need to make at some point, and Wentz is one of my favorite lyricists. Sure, the earlier material hasn’t aged as well, but even then, it’s still good for what it is. I still enjoy their earlier material, but it’s not quite as strong as everything from Infinity On High and over. That’s because the band was very experimental, unique, and different within their own genre. I feel like Patrick Stump in particular, and his knack for writing very catchy, slick, and energetic hooks is a reason why the band got huge. They are one of the few pop-punk bands that transcended their scene, which is very rare for a lot of bands in that sense, especially today. I’m not sure which band I love more, The Beatles or Fall Out Boy, because both bands are great in their own ways, but Fall Out Boy does have more emotional weight for me, because they’re the first band that I ever loved. The Beatles is tied for the spot, though, because they are the only other band that’s had such an effect on me, as well as an influence in terms of the way that I think about music.

#fall out boy #the beatles #chevelle #chance the rapper #hall & oates #hands like houses #carly rae jepsen #d'angelo #broadside

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