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soubi122 · 10 months

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How Long? - Part 5

Warning! Manipulation, mentions of pregnancy, thoughts of baby trapping, fear, angst, anxiety, possessive Ran.

Three more chapters left!

Last Flight

Sitting on the cold floor reminded you of how much you hated this feeling. The feeling of falling, the feeling of fear, panic and helplessness. “Pack your things…” Ran repeated his words with less enmity. It was supposed to be a relief but he made you feel just the opposite. You didn’t know whether or not he’d lose it again.

Packing a carry-on with the essentials, you bid your home a silent farewell, not sure if you’d even make it back alive. This was the one place you thought no one would find you. On the complete opposite end of the country, in a small town and away from the city - you were free. Free to live your life quietly and peacefully, away from the blood, turf wars, drugs and sleazy men and women. It was a good two and half years.

The drive to the hotel was quiet, as much as the scene was to die for, you couldn't help but feel anxious. Ran kept his hand on your thigh, almost as if he was afraid that you’d jump out of the car at any moment. A little paranoid, no?

When you arrived at the hotel, you could see the woman at the front desk straighten up and unbutton the top two buttons of her blouse. She had no idea what this man was capable of. Her pretty smile dropped when she saw you come up from behind Ran. “Welcome back sir. Did you find what you were looking for?” She asked while fluttering her expensive lashes. He waved her off and proceeded to call the elevator. Ran didn’t even look in her direction and it made the woman pout. If only he could have been like this to all the women when he was taken. Perhaps you should have let her take him, he might have actually proven you right - once a cheater always a cheater.

Opening the door to his room, you were met with an abundance of papers and maps. This looked like the room of a serial killer or a conspiracy theorist. He proceeded to throw away all the scattered materials and packed his belongings. While waiting, you built up the courage to speak. “Ran, I will book a hotel when we land.” You say with hopes of him understanding. “No, it’s safer if you stay with me.” He said without even looking at you, he was adamant about not letting you go. “I think it’s best not to draw any attention, I don’t want anyone to start investigating and potentially endanger Bonten.” It was a valid argument, with Bonten being under constant surveillance and with you being dead, it made sense to stay away temporarily. “I don’t care, you’re not-” He began to protest but you cut him off with two reasons that made his blood run cold. “I’m dead, remember? Besides, Mikey will really kill me if Bonten gets involved in my murder investigation.” Shit, you were right. You were always right. With a heavy sigh, Ran drooped his shoulders in defeat. “Promise me you’ll let me stay somewhere else.” It was hard to say yes to that question. He wanted to keep you with him, what if you decide to run away again? What if someone recognizes you? However, you evaded him and everyone else for 3 years - you must already know how to avoid detection. “I promise.”

After checking out of the hotel and dropping off the rental, you and Ran were waiting at the airport for the flight to commence boarding. Many couples strolled by, many were on their honeymoon or returning from a family vacation and had kids with them. Seeing and hearing how these couples interacted with each other, it made you nauseous. Especially while sitting next to the man that single handedly destroyed your life. This could have been you and Ran if he wouldn’t have cheated on you. The thought of having a child with him broke your heart. Biting back the tears in your eyes, you looked down at your cell phone, pretending to have gotten a notification or some sort. You knew what life was like with him, but how would have it been if he stayed loyal, would you be raising a child now or would you be the wife of a man who has several mistresses? The thoughts were eating away at you and Ran could tell that you were beginning to fidget in your seat.

“Now boarding flight 757 to Tokyo. Now boarding flight 757 to Tokyo - Narita Airport.” The woman on the intercom said. Thank goodness - you couldn’t stand a second more of this awkward silence between you and Ran. The flight was about 3 hours long, luckily Ran had gotten decent seats but oh how the gods love to fuck with you. A couple with a baby was seated in front of you, the baby looked to be about 1 year old and their chubby little cheeks made your heart melt. They were considered a lap passenger so the baby was in the couples’ arms at all times. You could tell that they were first time parents.

The plane was in the air and your journey back to Tokyo began. During the flight, you remained quiet and avoided any conversation with Ran or the flight attendants. Mid flight the baby began to cry, however, the mom was not there. The flight attendant returned to inform the father that the wife was in the bathroom pumping. You could kind of see the panic in the father’s face as they weren’t used to having the baby cry. He would turn around and look back to see if the mother was coming back but she was still pumping in the bathroom. The neighboring passengers were getting a little irate about the baby’s continuous cries.

“Remind me to get first class tickets next time.” Ran mumbled under his breath, he too was getting annoyed. Of course, those who have never dealt with children will have zero patience with them or anybody else. Seeing how he would grip his thighs or message his temples - he was slowly losing it. As someone who had friends that were nursing, you knew pumping could take 15-20 minutes. Just as Ran was about to open his mouth, you stood up and crossed over him, surprising him - just what the hell were you doing?

Lightly tapping on the man’s shoulder you asked if he needed any help with the baby. “Oh, she’s just hungry - her mother should be back shortly.” He said sheepishly, but you could see the pink blush on his face from being flustered and embarrassed. He didn’t know what to do. The baby’s sudden wailing made the father even more flustered. “May I?” You asked and extended your arms for the baby. The man handed the baby over to you, you positioned the baby against your chest and had their little head rest on your shoulder. Softly patting the baby’s thigh and setting them - the sound of your heartbeat and rhythmic movements helped to calm the baby down. The soothing patting went in sync with your heartbeat. It’s all about the angle and rhythm - “T-Thank you so much. ” The father said and smiled. It was the first time he'd seen someone other than his wife put the baby to sleep.

The movements and patting was also soothing to you. For a moment, you forgot where you were and who was by you. Ran's eyes never left you, he saw how you handled the baby so gently and just how powerful a woman could be in moments like this. The smile on your face was warm and delicate like the morning sun. That baby in your arms was lucky to be held against your chest, to be held in the arms of a loving and beautiful woman.

Warmth began to blossom inside of his chest. Seeing you like this, with a child in your arms… It made him want to plant his seed, let it take root and grow in your womb. He knew you'd nurture and care for it, a beautiful little boy or girl would be born out of love. They'd be surrounded by two loving parents and uncles who would treat them like one of their own. Ran was starting to imagine how you'd be while decorating a nursery with a swollen belly and a smile on your face. A real smile…

"Umm…excuse me." The sound of the mother's voice snapped both you and Ran out of your little bubbles. "Oh, I'm sorry - it just looked like he really needed help." You say softly. Once the mother handed over the pump and bottles to her husband, you began to hand over the child to her. "Here's your little one back." She smiled and thanked you for helping them. You excused yourself and took your seat next to Ran. The flight attendant came over to thank you for stepping in and also to thank you on behalf of the other passengers. It doesn’t really take much to be kind.

Ran slowly tried to reach out to hold your hand but was reminded of the very hands that were wrapped around your neck. He stopped himself midway before you could notice. The solemn look on your face made him regret his actions. If things didn't pan out the way they did, perhaps you'd be leaning against his shoulder and touching your belly - signaling that it was time. He truly wanted to be happy with you. Perhaps there was a way to keep you here with him, permanently...

The flight continued in silence between you two. Once the plane landed and passengers were allowed to exit, the couple turned around and thanked you once more. The baby made cooing noises and smiled, she looked happy. Such innocence and bliss - it made you subconsciously rub your belly. This didn't go unnoticed by Ran. Maybe there was a chance to change your futures after all. Just maybe he can try to smooth things over with you after you meet up with everyone, they might just welcome you with open arms and - wait…that’s not how they’d react. Reality hit him square in the face, you faked your death and went into hiding with help of Bonten’s leader. Traitors were subjected to severe punishment. Negotiating the terms of punishment will be his priority. He will still try his best to make this work, you said you loved him after all, right? Did you really mean it?

Stepping foot back into Tokyo was hard. You’d grown used to the quiet and sounds of the ocean, it was much more soothing than the sound of cars, trains and people. Putting on a face mask, you hid your face from the crowds - remember, you're dead after all.

You and Ran made your way through security and headed to the parking lot where his car was. When the garage attendant greeted him, he paused for a brief moment, blinking and taking a second look at you. “What space is my car parked in?” Ran asked with a curt tone, the fact that someone else was staring at you made him rather irate. “Oh, space 13 sir.” The attendant bowed and handed the keys over. Ran took the keys and didn't even say thank you as he walked away, you bowed to thank the man and followed Ran. "You're in a pissy mood…" You pointing out the obvious wasn't needed.

As he drove down the highway, you began checking for hotels that had availability, you didn't want to stay in the same living space with Ran. "Can you drop me off at this hotel? I want to rest before meeting everyone." For a moment everything went silent, you were a fool to think that he would let you stay somewhere else. "You're not staying at a hotel, you're coming home with me…" He chuckles and places a hand on your thigh. This was not part of the agreement. "You said-" You began to protest when he cut you off. "I can't let my wife stay somewhere else when she has a perfectly good home to come to." What the hell did he just call you? "I'm not your wife, Ran." You corrected him, you never signed papers or said 'I do' to each other, he had no right to call you that. He squeezed your thigh a little, his fingertips were starting to dig into your skin and make you flinch.

"Please, just stay with me…" The importunate tone made you uneasy. Ran was beginning to crack. Sighing in defeat, you nodded your head and muttered an 'ok'. He was quick to put a smile back on his face. It was rather naive of you to expect him to keep his promise. It was hard not to think of all the things that took place in the city you once called home. You wondered if home was going to look the same or if he changed everything. Did he keep your things, throw them out, sell them or give them away to his playthings? There was no use in thinking about it, it’s been 3 years. His tears and sincerity hinted at him truly regretting his actions. “Ran…I need you to be honest with me.” You begin to say as you stare out the window. He hummed in response. “Do you truly love me or do you hate the fact that you lost me? That you were not the one to end things? Or that I didn’t bend to your will?” The question made him slow down the car, just enough to drag out the drive home. Why the sudden bombardment of questions?

The harsh questions swirled around his head like a maelstrom. Was it his ego that was bruised and not his heart? No…he loved you, he truly loved you. Ran remained silent, he didn’t know what to say in order for you to believe him. His silence spoke volumes to you, you knew he was struggling to find the answer. “Can I show you when we get home?” He said while keeping his eyes on the road. If he’d turn around to face you, he knew he’d stop the car to claim you. Perhaps Ran had a fetish for your love, regardless of his actions - you pushed him out of your life and he came right back for you. When you spotted the building that you once called home, it made a knot in your stomach - you hoped to never see this place again.

Parking his car in the underground parking lot, he cut the engine and turned to look at you. He could see that your hands were trembling, this place brought back bitter memories and he was the cause of them all. “Let’s go, my love.” Ran said with a sickening warm tone and exited the car. Once he closed the door, you inhaled deeply, pausing for five seconds and exhaling, preparing yourself for what awaited you.

Taking the elevator to the top floor, you felt your knees almost give out. The scent of hydraulic oil made you nauseous, there is nothing quite like home, huh? The sound of the elevator dinging made your heart beat faster. You were getting closer and closer to the hell hole you were living in while he did his deeds. Each step taken felt like your feet were in quicksand, your legs felt heavy and struggled to keep up with Ran’s long legs.

Once Ran opened the door, the faint smell of tobacco and sandalwood perforated your nostrils. You were surprised he kept it clean, since you were the one to pick up after him and clean the house - he’s never done housework before. Walking in, you take a look around and notice that he’s changed everything. The walls were painted, the furniture was different, the dining table was gone and even his dishes were different. “It um, looks so different.” You whisper and set your things down by the entrance. “Rindou tried his best.” He said while scratching the back of his neck.

When you were gone, Rindou threw all your things out against Ran’s orders. He couldn’t handle seeing his older brother lose himself over a dead woman that he claimed he felt nothing for when he was out cheating. Rindou hired interior designers to renovate Ran’s home. However, he was unsuccessful with renovating the master bed and bath. The interior designers were threatened with a pistol to their temples if they even walked into those rooms. Aniki…you need to fucking let it go. Rindou would say it over and over again, but Ran refused.

This didn’t feel like home and you were glad, it was a stranger’s home afterall. “I shouldn’t be here.” You say and take a step back but Ran wrapped his arms around your waist from behind. “Come on, let’s rest and then we can go see everyone else.” He whispered in your ear. It gave you chills, this felt like a trap.

“Ran, please…I can’t.” You whimpered and felt the tears well in your eyes. Trepidation began to rattle your nerves. Everything began to get blurry as your heart pounded in your chest. He began to guide you to his bedroom while still holding you from behind. When he opened the door and your eyes scanned the room, you felt a pang in your chest. The bedroom remained the same. Your once shared bed, the dressers, nightstands and photos remained the same as the day you left. “Welcome home, (Y/N).”

END

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