Oh my god!! That was just great and I loved every second of reading that. Had to reread the post a couple times because I was so excited by the notification. The connections between Bro and The Handmaid you made are phenomenal! That’s exactly why I’m obsessed with them interacting and honestly, Bro interacting with people is kinda funny to me. Bro is funny without trying.

Don’t worry about how much you talk, I’m very much into reading long posts! I’m asking because I just want to hear another persons point of view and reasoning. No need to hold back.

Mom and Bro… sigh, I love them a lot :(

Their interactions in The Run and Go either make me laugh or pity them. Either way, it’s great. Sometimes I like having fun with them and exchanging conversations about them with a mutual of mine. How much would you say Dirk & Roxy are in their dynamic?

Sorry for the delay, I went to bed early last night haha!

Honestly I have many things to say about Mom and Bro, all the time! They're just so fun! I like writing them in RNG (the run and go) specifically because I love the concept of dealing with After, of dealing with things that came before, but already happened, and can't be prevented, and the guardians just happen to fulfill that desire pretty much to a T!

Warning most of this is just like. Fun headcanon stuff so sorry!

For me, I like to imagine that Bro and Mom knew each other when they were "kids", because it's implied in [I'd rather not talk about Hussie's awful Skaianet lore but it just sits in the back of my mind] that Jake Harley was their benefactor/sponsor, so I always imagine that they grew up separately until they were somewhere between 10 and 13, and then the beta guardians kind of like. Collected them I guess, at least temporarily. They met, became friends, stayed in contact when they separated, and then (once again all fake headcanons) Bro started to become more like how he is now, and after 16 he kinda walked out of Nanna and Grandpa's lives, and Mom became Grandpa's protege (more implied about Hiveswap which isn't entirely canon but sometimes I think about it anyway) . I like to think they still called and maybe emailed (cringes in 90s communication format) and stuff, but Bro was preparing for Dave at this point, and Mom was preparing for Rose. They grew apart, things kept happening u know, as they do, and they just! Stopped talking. Probably mostly Bro's fault lol

Anyway so all that being said, since they are to a point Roxy and Dirk, I think that there maybe have been a time before Bro was cruel, when he was Dirk, was still just a kid who cared a lot about what his friends thought of him, who maybe was a little awkward and only had one fucking friend, in Mom. He's a weird dude, for sure, but Roxy (Mom) likes weird, and they're both very smart, and very funny. I think they would have something in common, in the way that they both had a predestiny, in the way that their lives were already being carved out for them before they even had the chance to decide for themselves (i already said this about bro but it does extend to mom too lol). Much like Roxy and Dirk were the only two people who knew what it was like in a future without humans, I imagine that Bro and Mom probably felt, to a point, that they were the only two people in the world who had the kind of raw fucking deal they were dealt. I imagine they were shitty to each other, in that playful way that two very sarcastic people can be, because I always imagine the guardians as being a little bit sharper around the edges than their kid counterparts, even at the same age.

I think a lot about the fact that aside from being Ectobiological creations, they were still kids, who still grew up in “our” world, who had a bunch of fucking like. Genuine life experience and interaction with the outside world. We often see the homestuck kids as isolated in their own little worlds, for a variety of reasons, but it’s more interesting to me, to think of the guardians as being more connected to the outside world, in part because of the mystery in their upbringing, and also just. 30+ years life on earth!

I don't think Bro is a good enough person to actually stop Mom from drinking, but I imagine it probably "annoyed" him in a way, u know Cal influence etc etc but I do think he'd tolerate her, if only out of a kind of weird obligation mixed with genuine affection he'd probably never admit to. I do think Mom genuinely loved him, and though I headcanon the guardians as always knowing they had an obligation, I think she probably would have been happier, if they had been able to stay together. I like to think of the guardians as the worst reflection of the kids' inner selves, Roxy's addiction, Dirk's tendency towards calculation and manipulation, but they are still people, and it never stops being interesting, the concept of reconnecting with someone who you loved, who you failed, who failed you. Yeah!

Some of my favorite things Dirk has ever said about Roxy, for context, which influences a lot of how I write Bro and Mom's relationship:

Mori Ougai (I just want to talk about him)

Guys, I've been thinking a lot lately about Mori and his Beast counterpart. I really, really, really love Beast Mori and everything that he represents. He's not just the "good Mori." In my eyes, and others as well, he represents Mori's humanity (side note: I'm not saying Mori is secretly a hero or something) and what main story Mori could've been if he wasn't in the mafia.

I also just want to talk about Mori in general because he's actually very fascinating and more complex than some make him seem.

Just hear me out, ok?

Also, shoutout to @hopefull-mindset. Their analyses on BSD have been very interesting and definitely have given me a different perspective on Mori and helped me understand Beast Mori so much more.

Anyways, these are just a pile of thoughts I have on Mori as I began to understand him more. Please note: these are my personal thoughts gathered through lots of analyses digging and reflection on his character. If you dislike Mori, that is completely valid.

Understanding Beast Mori

When I first read Beast, I was so confused. How could Mori be so different when every other character had basically the same personality? Mori in the main story is cruel, cold, and manipulative. Yes, he is very pragmatic and smart, but that doesn't take away from his bad qualities. However, the more I dug deeper into the mystery of Beast Mori, the more things started to make sense. The Mori we meet in Beast is still the same Mori from the main story. And for those who question that, look at Beast Aku and Beast Atsushi. They may have swapped organizations but their fundamental traits are still the same. Atsushi, PM or ADA, still has major guilt and self-worth issues that stem from the Orphanage Director. Aku is the same. Even if he is in the ADA, he still has his intense bloodlust and determination.

So, why is Mori different? As @hopefull-mindset has pointed out in one of their posts, he's in a different environment. There are no negative influences or stressors unlike the mafia. Also, he's working with children. Children often represent innocence and positive emotions. Mori, surprisingly, is really good with kids because we the see the orphanage thrive in his care. It makes perfect sense that Mori, who likes kids (and not in the creepy way), would learn to become a more caring figure. In the main story, Mori is often presented as a necessary evil; he's the dark to Fukuzawa's light. But now that Dazai replaced him, Mori can act without always making the optimal solution at the cost of anyone that gets in its way, himself included.

Honestly, I think Beast Mori does humanize him. It doesn't erase the wrongs he did (and believe me, I haven't forgotten), but it does show you a different perspective. Beast shows us that Mori has complexities. He's not just an evil monster for the heroes to overcome. There's more to him than that.

Note: I am not saying any of his actions towards Yosano, Dazai, or any other character are justified. He hurt them emotionally and psychologically. It wasn't fun to watch or read. Saying Mori is more than a one dimensional villain doesn't take away from the bad things he did. I'm just trying to offer a different perspective because Beast Mori is that interesting, at least to me.

Elise

I've never been able to fully reconcile with this aspect of Mori. It is weird. It is uncomfortable. It is perplexing. Elise to an extent, is Mori. She is a part of him manifested and can act on her own. And I get the controversy behind it; it's not normal. That being said, never have we seen Mori in either the manga or the anime act in that nature towards her or even Yosano. He makes weird comments about Elise, sure, but nothing super explicit. At most, they're treated as weird jokes. And, for the record, that doesn't make them ok or any better. I won't argue back and forth on this topic because it's a difficult subject.

However, I don't believe he is actually a *you know what* because of Beast Mori's entire existence. Riddle me this, why would Asagiri-sensei write a character as a *you know what* and then have his counterpart work at an orphanage full of children? That, at least to me, crosses a moral line. It makes it even more weird and uncomfortable. Also, idk about y'all, but I wouldn't find it fun or quirky if someone portrayed a very famous and beloved author as a perverted creep, just saying.

So, where did Elise even come from then? Well, she's a companion to Mori in many ways. He's rarely seen without her. Mori's backstory is a mystery to us. My honest theory is that Elise manifested as a companion for Mori because he was in a really bad spot. Either he was abused in some shape or form or was very isolated and alone. We know that Mori's had her since the Great War. He was 26 at that time. That's still fairly young so I think it's safe to say he's had her since he was a child or a teenager. Of course, I could be wrong. But based off what we know about abilities so far, I think it's safe to say that Elise didn't manifest without reason.

The Optimal Solution

Going into more speculation about Mori's backstory, I have so many questions. Mori essentially has the same big question as Kunikida for me: when and why did he decide to follow the optimal solution. For Kunikida, it's his ideals. Both characters stick so adamantly to their beliefs that it leads to conflict externally and internally. Mori's optimal solution is the reason why Yosano was traumatized.

It just got me thinking, when did he develop this line of thought? After all, a kid who grew up with an average life usually doesn't worry about the "optimal solution." Between this and Elise, I strongly believe he came from a dysfunctional home. It would certainly explain why he tells Dazai that the latter reminds him of himself. Mori is very good at repressing his emotions; he's hard to read which makes him dangerous. He likes to take advantage of situations and manipulate them to his will, or whatever he deems to be the optimal solution. The battle with Fukuzawa during the Cannibalism arc is a good example of this. Mori knew he couldn't win so he decided to get Fukuzawa to let his guard down enough to strike. In my area of study at school, the home life of a person can be very telling as to why someone may act in a certain way. Mori coming from a rough home without love seems pretty plausible to me.

Mori is a very well-written character with a lot of complexities that tend to get overlooked. Why does he do what do? At what point did he decide to follow his optimal solution? It's such an interesting question because it affects so many characters and situations.

Conclusion

If y'all got this far, congrats! I hope that people will take the time to look deeper at his character. You don't have to like Mori. I'm just tired of people portraying him as something he's not. I also don't want fans harassing other fans because they like Mori. And I'll admit it, I was so quick to judge both him and Francis. Had I kept up my shield and continued to shoot unwarranted hatred at them, I wouldn't have appreciated their characters as I do now.

And yes, I do overhate on Fyodor (mainly bc the man is cockroach and he hurt Kunikida). I get it. However, I know Fyodor is a deeply complex character. His way of thinking is actually quite fascinating and I have so many questions about him. I don't like Fyodor, but I'm not gonna let my personal grievances stop others from enjoying him.

I want to try this out as a desperate attempt to find something that would keep my mind on what's important, instead of eating like a fat shit

Anyways

27/05/2020

Day 1: Your Stats

CW: 58kg/127lbs

SW/HW: 66kg/145lbs

LW: 56.6kg/124lbs

B: 86cm/34"

W: 68cm/26"

H: 98cm/38"

Aaa, I wish I didn't give in to my primal pig mindset and eat everything that I could get my eyes on it a few days back, I would've still been at my LW ;;-;;

Hopefull, as I do this challenge I can remind myself what matters more, eating some lame nugget for tiny sense of euphoria, or coming back to these posts in a while only to be like "ha, my CW at the time was so high"

Me backieee! What is your OC's life philosophy? I mean their way of coping with life and what or who they hold dear. Their values, personality preferences, way of thinking, approach of things, etc. Thanks!

Yay my favorite of anon is back

Hmm, bit of a tricky question since a lot of my ocs dont value much, not truly at least. But this is what they do and how they view the world and their morals.

Peter: the world is his chess board. He can do whatever he wants and face no consequences. He’s not so delusional to where he thinks it’s impossible to fail, but he has the mindset everything will work out for him. He says he thinks logically, but in reality he thinks more on an educated impulse. While he thinks about the consequences and what he will gain from what he does, or lose from what he does, his ideas aren’t pondered over for too long. He doesn’t care enough about the bad that could happen and cares more about the good. Which isn’t.. “good” just benfitial to him. He likes people that aren’t exactly like him, and he likes people that aren’t pushovers, and those that don’t let things like extreme morality and remorse control them. While he finds it easier to work with people that just listen to what he says, he admires those that stand up for themselves, those who can have a good balance of compassion and apathy. Although the latter pisses him off the most if it interferes with him. He approaches things more head on, back then he would be right there when everything would go down. But after the accident he had regarding some of Ivan’s soldiers nearly killing him, he now controls from the sidelines. He likes to be there as much as he can, but he’s not going to risk his life like that ever again. He will control from the comfort of his own master bed or office. When it comes to people he cares about, he becomes very possessive of them, while also trusting they can care for themselves, sometimes trusting them a little too much. As long as they will remain forever in his life, they can do as they please. He doesn’t like when people rely on him so much emotionally. It’s a good ego boost but he can’t stand when people look to him for mental help and guidance. He’s not their damn therapist. He expects everyone to leave him, and he’s tried mentally preparing himself for that. Key word: try. Luckily for him he cares about very little. But the things he cares about, he cares about so, so much.

Anahii: the world is filled with selfish people, and a lot of evil. She’s lost complete faith in humanity, seeing how the public turns such a blind eye to the problems in the world, how they act like they care, or just how many truly evil people work for evil things. Sometimes it still comes as a surprise to her. But she knows she’s no different. She’s selfish too, a cold, gold digger. For those she cares about, deep down she wishes they would just change. Fit the mold that she wants, but she’s never going to admit that, never going to admit that she cares. For now she will bury herself in meaningless items, and meaningless sex. She used to be afraid of who she grew up as, and who she’s become. But she no longer cares about how violent she is, the people she’s killed, the things she’s said. It doesn’t affect her life ultimately since she knows (thought) she will never be caught. She keeps everyone at a distance, and has a cautious mind. Her moral standpoint is also more or less non existent. Whatever doesn’t affect her won’t concern her. She can’t think of any personality preferences she cares for, but she likes stability. A rock to lean on. She will handle problems head on, hating having to rely on anyone to do it themselves. If she can do it by herself, she will. She will use whatever she needs to, mental force or physical force. A job is like a mission to her.

Jason: the world blurs by him. If he’s honest he can’t remember much from the last 20 or so years. He can’t remember the peoples he’s slept with, talked to, killed. He never bothers learning names, their interests, anything of the sort. Not much in life matters to him long term. He likes the high, the insane amounts of money, the power he’s gotten alongside Peter. But in the end life to him is lonely. He feels empty, and he feels like the world has nothing more to provide him. He contemplates why he doesn’t just kill himself, seeing how much time he feels he’s wasted, but he’s got that hope that maybe things will change, he will get that pit filled. He doesn’t regret his life, or many of his choices. He doesn’t care about the countless heartbroken women he’s shunned away and used, doesn’t care about the scared people he’s killed, ones that were just doing their jobs, because in his eyes they could provide him nothing that he wants in his life. They’re just a body. He doesn’t bother to know them because he doesn’t want to care. He already knows what happens when he cares about people. He doesn’t want to feel that kind of desperation ever again. For now he will sit in his giant mansion alone, sipping some bourbon, and ignore the empty feeling. He handles problems from the side,not liking to get completely involved. He snipes, staying away from the action, and silently stalks. He walks away with blood free hands, but they aren’t clean.

Cooper: he’s very involved with his surroundings, likes to know everything that’s going on in the world. He hates ignorance, would rather know everything that could hurt him or those he cares for. He’s invested in his job, his tasks. He likes to be completely hands on, knowing every detail, know every one. If he has to sell something to a new face, he likes to know everything about them, down to their family and hometown. He gets involved, rather then keeping people at a distance. Sometimes this leads to him feeling remorse over what he has to do, but his mind is robotic when in a job, especially when it goes wrong. He feels more like a cars sales man using someone’s financial status to sell them an overly priced car. He can switch his facade on and off. He doesn’t care about the world, he knows how awful everyone is, and chooses not to think about all the good people he’s had a hand in hurting. He only cares about his world. His Wife and Husband. He will put anyone on the line to keep them safe. He’s already lost someone dear to him because of his own mistakes and he’s dammed if it will happen again. So if him fucking over thousands of innocent keeps his family under the protection of the Durantes and with financial stability, then so be it.

Plethora: he’s a good balance of untrustworthiness and hopefull to the world. He understands how awful the world can be, how much people don’t know. But he understands that there’s a lot of good people out there, people that he doesn’t want to hurt. He justifies his actions based on what kind of person he’s killing. He, like cooper, learns everything about who he is assassinating, to see all the evil this does. He doesn’t like being in the unknown if he just did a horrific thing or not. But with him knowing, he may also know he just killed an innocent man. Those thoughts keep him up at night. He tells himself it’s just a part of his job, that the people he’s killed ultimately deserved it, were awful people. Sometimes he even boasts about it, how good of a kill it was. But it doesn’t stop him from being eaten up at night, the thoughts of how many families he’s destroyed. He desperately hopes he doesn’t end up like them, losing a member of his family. So he becomes protective, keeping his husband and wife at arms reach. He knows there’s more people like him out there, many worse people out there, but he will protect them just fine. Seeing them alive and happy is enough to push his worries to the back of his mind, at least for a while.

Cassandra: she views the world in statistics and numbers. She doesn’t see the life a person has lived, the fear they felt as they were hurt or died, but sees them as a number. She’s constantly dealing with numbers, working in stocks and money. So she thinks with more logic, ponders more on what she’s going to do, thinks of the consequences. She doesn’t want her or those she cares about to become a statistic. Her life is filled with exceptions. Those who become close to her no longer just become a blank face or a number, but they become a real person. She becomes invested in them, wanting them to be happy and healthy. She likes those with outgoing attitudes, and those that can help themselves and stand up for themselves. It’s what’s drawn her to her husbands. She enjoys that’s she’s not heavily relied on for help, and is cared for while also being able to care for them. She loves the balance. She’s willing to do what’s necessary for those she cares for, but will also do what she feels will work and what is right. Still, family above all.

Michelle: she knows there’s good on Earth. She knows that there’s so many people out there who have loved, had cared for others, who have had dreams, aspirations, interests. She knows everyone that she has hurt or killed has had those things. And now they’re nothing, they’re rotting in the ground, if they were lucky enough to even be buried. She doesn’t care about how the evil outweighs the good, she cares about those who didn’t deserve the pain they go through. She regrets getting herself involved into this shit, she despises those who are so unbearably selfish and care only about something so mundane and insignificant as power. She admires compassion, and admires the good. She values herself as a person, and is constantly on the journey to whatever personal growth she needs, but feels like she’s constantly being set back. She wants to help herself before she can be ready to help others, and knows that’s the right choice. She will fix this, what she’s contributed to. For everyone’s sake.

Gwen: she doesn’t know better. She was raised into this, raised to not question what she’s doing or the right and wrong. So she doesn’t know why she feels the pang of what she assumes is guilt when something she does hurts another. It’s not crippling, but nagging. She likes making people happy, making them laugh. But also likes seeing the fear in ones eyes when she does something she’d like to call “hella badass”. She doesn’t know what she wants, because she doesn’t know what else there is. This life is all she’s ever known, but once she gets the taste of a different world, she begins to learn what she feels and what she really wants in life.

Aj: unlike Gwen, she got the vision of a better life. One with kids playing in the street, a mother playing with her daughters, car rides past the school she would soon go to. It’s faint, a blur of colors and feelings, but she remembers it. She despises those she’s surrounded by, wishes that she could meet new people that are different, less selfish. She was young, too. When she was taken with her sister. She barely has an idea of what someone her age should be doing, what she should want. Instead she’s adopted the professional and agitated persona. It’s safe. But she finds solace in the little things, and if she can’t help herself she will help her sister, Gwen. She enjoys being around people that let her lean on their shoulder, one that makes her life feel less like work. Someone else that gives her something to fight for, even though she should fight for herself.

Ivan: humans are insignificant. They’re nothing, nothing in the grand scheme of things. But he, he is so much more. He’s survived more then any human could, done more then even the richest billionaire could desire. He’s gotten away with so much, can make people drop dead at the snap of his fingers. He despises competition, men like Peter, but deals with the chronic boredom. What can a man like himself do when he can do anything? He doesn’t consider the things that could go wrong, because nothing can go wrong. It never does, not in his eyes. But when it does he’s enraged. He feels a personal attack, someone who defies against him, the prophet- no, the god. The all seeing eye, big brother. He controls, because that’s his power. To control and to see. To manipulate, and to decimate. He will... accommodate. If it benefits him. He chooses not to see it as him being controlled, but more people falling into his trap. If one is unlucky to be hated by him, you might as well live in a bunker. But if you’re unlucky enough to be loved by him, have fun being his marionette, his trophy. You’re better off not knowing him at all.

It`s been quite a long time

After 3 years of not logging in on tumblr, I decided to do so once more. The last time I came in here I was 22 and recently graduated from Law School. I was happy, and hopefull. 

3 years later ...adult life happened. Like it did to most of my followers/ex tumblr friends I suppose. 

I feel like a lot of things have changed. The world has changed. Social media has changed. I have changed. Yet this still feels like home. 

Everything I loved and made me happy (apart from traveling and going out of course) is here. One of my hobbies. A place to laugh, to share passions, to cry sometimes but also a place of support, of activism and a place to vent. 

Proof is, that even after all this years the first thing I see as I log in is a Chreik post of XMFC that made me laugh my ass off. 

In another country, 3 years older, with a different mindset and experiences, and yet Tumblr still makes me laugh and spices my life

It feels good to be back.

I have a bad habit of looking at the blogs of people who say dumb shit and then get like dunked on in a reblog and i wanna see if they ever responded. 

but like sometimes the content from it changes, like maybe their mindset has changed and maybe they stopped saying stupid shit and grew tf up 

makes me feel kind hopefull when i see that change 

New Month, ⁠ New Goal, ⁠ New Mindset⁠ New Focus⁠ ⁠ Let's hope for a better tomorrow.⁠ ⁠ #stayhome #takeprecautions #resumeyourlife #lockdownstories⁠ #hopefull #Staystrong #Covi19⁠ #Supporteveryone

New Month, ⁠ New Goal, ⁠ New Mindset⁠ New Focus⁠ ⁠ Let's hope for a better tomorrow.⁠ ⁠ #stayhome #takeprecautions #resumeyourlife #lockdownstories⁠ #hopefull #Staystrong #Covi19⁠ #Supporteveryone Read the full article

Hope is the factor which makes us alive we, humans who hope of different things in our life because hope is the also the factor which makes us succeed, so loose anything in your life but don't loose of being successful. : : Because HOPE is the 🔑 of success. 💯 💯 😊comment me for which thing you hope most in your life. ⭕ ⭕ Tag your hopefull friend. - - - 🔥🔥 @zuck @onlinentrepreneurs @selenagomez @connectparmveer @elonmuskquote @kyliejenner - - - 🚩Follow us : @growthbison 🚩Follow us : @growthbison 🚩Follow us : @growthbison - - - #digitalmarketing #SEO #digitalpresence #marketing #onlinebusiness #onlineincome #growthbison #business #motivation #inspiration #success #quotes #motivational #inspirational #lawofattraction #motivateyourself #inspirationalwords #ambitious #goals #keytosuccess #mindset #motivate #believeinyourself #lifegoals #dreambig #successful #dailyquotes #quoteoftheday #quote #inspo https://www.instagram.com/p/CAb5wnbJNhM/?igshid=1b4bxt060ubmg

My Top 9 Fics of 2016

I was tagged by the fab @loveitsallineed to list my top 9 favourite fics that I wrote of 2016!

Angels of the Sea - (Destiel, 53k) This one is my DCBB and has to go first as it pretty much took the entirety of 2016 to write and edit (or at least 8 months of it) and it was my first go at the DCBB and I am so proud of it!

Grace Anatomy - (Destiel, 5.4k) This was super fun to write! I’m a sucker for medical AUs so, in that respect, it was awesome. I got a lot of positive feedback from this as well!

Caught in the Net (Destiel, 2.1k) I’d never written a Merman!Cas fic before this and was certainly fun! I’d defintely write more Merman!Cas in the future when I have time!

Aries (Sastiel, 2.1k) I don’t write smut very often so this was interesting. I have always wanted to write a Stripper AU and the Sastiel Love Week gave me the chance! 

Roars of Thunder (Destiel, 7.6k) This was a timestamp for my DCBB which was also fun to write! It gave me a chance to look deeper into Cas’ mindset after the events of Angels of the Sea. 

Where We Are (Denny, 3k) This year, I have more than fallen in love with DeanBenny... like a lot... like on par with Destiel a lot and this fic was amazing for me to write! I saw a prompt and was incredibly inspired to write it for DeanBenny! (with lots of encouragement from @adoredean)

A Helping Hand (Destiel, 1.6k) I’d had this idea floating around for aaaages and I finally got round to writing it and it was as enjoyable as expected!

Cheer Up, Buttercup (Destiel, 1k) This is more Cas’ angsty monologue more than anything and it seemed completely different to how I usually write. There was a lot more feeling in it which is something I struggle with when I write so this was a personal achievement.

Scarring Reminder (Destiel, 250 words) This isn’t a fanfic but a piece of poetry that I wrote based on a piece of angsty fanart. I really love how it turned out and I tried to add in some interesting formatting that would hopefull guide the reader into the poem a little and I hope I achieve it. 

I’m gonna tag: @soupernabturel, @majesticduxk, @galaxystiel, @destielonfire, @destieldrabblesdaily, @emberscas, @adoredean, @blissfulcastiel, @angvlicmish, @bloodandcream (it won’t let me tag your main blog), and @adoringjensen... and any other writers I’ve missed because I’m a dork

DISCLAIMERSome people have objected to this monthly post for various reasons. So Im starting with this disclaimer. I do this full time. Its technically not beermoney for me. So this is NOT typical of most people. But it does show each month what programs are paying and whats working. And it also shows that those that are unemployed, disabled or have other special circumstances, who may come across this subreddit, that extra money can be made with some time and effort.  February saw a nice uptick especially to Mturk. Ive felt re-energized and my new computer is humming along nicely. SO lets talk about the announcements. Plan on getting a bunch more things up and running this month and see how things go First.. Starting with the March earnings report in April, I will be doing a monthly Live Q&A. Most likely this will be live on twitch and then posted on youtube. But my techguy says its possible to go live on both at the same time. So we will see. I was shooting for this month but all my equipment isnt set up yet, plus my tech guy went and got himself a job which means hes not at my beck and call all the time any more... damn him. 2nd announcement. You know that website I have been talking about. Well we are finally putting a date for launch on it. May 7th, 2019 will see the launch of the website. Im not going into a lot of details right now but as long as everything is looking good next month, Ill announce the name of it and some of what we are looking to do for the benefit of the entire beermoney community. So tune in to next month's earnings report for breaking news! lol 3rd announcement: I also talked last month about bringing back a podcast like show. This is also in the works and should start this month or early next month. But I may now need a video editor thats willing to work cheap or free since my techguy seems to think earning an income is more important than doing all my bidding :) I already have a couple people who have approached me about being a guest on a podcast.. so Im thinking we can make this pretty good. 4th Announcement: Every month I get dozens of PMs asking for the Mturk 101 I mention in the FAQ. Well to be honest a lot of that document is now out of date. So in my free time I plan on updating that this month. New tools and new strategies have come out that should be mentioned along with new resources available. Im hoping to collarborate with someone that is better and much more efficient at turking than I am, a guy who is a tremendous resource of info in the beermoney discord. Hopefulle we can find time to work together to make a document that can really become a gold standard. Im also hoping to do some tutorial videos on some of the scripts once I have all of that up and running Anyway thats it for now. Lots going on that im excited about. I hope everyone has a great March!  ProgramFebJan2019 TotalMturk$950$500$1450Swagbucks1$175$200$375Ebates$74.14---$74.14PhonePayCheck2$70$75$145NorthFork Research$30$10$40EarningStation$25$50$75Perk$25$25$50InstaGC$25$20$45Checkout51$24.50---$24.50SurveySavvy$23---$23ClassAction Suit$16.35---$16.35Testable Minds$8.70$10.30$19Freebird$10---$10Earnhoney$5$5$10Mobile Performance Meter$5$5$10MicrosoftRewards$5$5$10CrossMediaPanel$5$5$10BestMark$3.50---$3.50Shoptracker$3$3$6Slidejoy$2---$2Radial Insight$1.30---$1.30Credit Card Sign up Bonus---$100$100Drop---$50$50Prolific Academic---$38.30$38.50KoinMe---$25$270Volkno---$10$50RadioEarn---$8.308.30Total$1485.19$1145.90$2631.09Ref Earnings$185$200$385Full Total$1671.49$1344.60$3016.09  FOOTNOTES1. Does not count Ref earnings2. Registration is closed for this app3. Does not count Ref EarningsThats my list for Jan. Who paid you for/in last month? FAQI'm in need of extra money. Should I persue doing some of this?Yes and no. There is obviously money to be made. But there are drawbacks. Mturk (there are alternatives but not usually as lucrative) may not accept you (wont accept if outside US), Earnings may be low on programs like EH and other stuff can be a grind. Mobile based earnings means needing devices and takes money and time. Passive earning is starting to show huge signs of decline. I dont want anyone to believe they can sit down tomorrow and be making $1000 next month. I live outside the USA. How can I earn?Unfortunately most of the stuff I do is either USA only or US/UK/CA/AU. So its hard for me to advise whats available to people outside of those areas. If you live outside those 4 countries I really dont have advice for you. And I dont have much advice for even outside the USA. How Much Time do you spend with this?Its Hard to quantify. I am in front of a computer ALOT but its not always focused on making money. I have games I play and have scripts that watch for HITs ON Mturk so if something pops thats good I switch over. Plus Im often doing multiple things at once. That said.. there are people who make more then me with less time. Im actually very inefficient. Will you give me advice or help me get started?Yes but only if you approach it with the mindset that its slow and a grind at times and not get rich quick or at all. How do you make so much on Mturk. Can you give me any hints?I have a Mturk 101 typed up I can send with some tips and tricks. Why dont you get a real job?Health issues.. and I can nap at 1PM.. and I dont have a boss looking over my shoulder... and I can work naked (I dont.. or do I....) You must have a ton of referrals to make that much!All the totals above represent only personal earnings. I seperate out ref earnings. OMG! You must cheat somehow to make so much!I do nothing outside the TOS of any of the programs. I consider this income to be a blessing and wouldnt do anything to jeopardize that. Plus cheating just kills programs and defrauds the companies that are allowing me to make this income. Do you have to pay taxes on all of thisYes on most of it. There are some exceptions but the majority of this income is taxable. Most of these companies dont issue 1099s but that doesnt mean you dont have to pay taxes. Please consult a tax professional if you have questions on how to handle taxes on "beermoney" income via /r/beermoney

Hello! I really appreciate your Fanfiction and your characterization of Bro Strider. Fanfics that actually go out of their way to characterize Bro like another Dirk always has my appreciation. But also, is it fine for me to ask more about your thoughts with Bro and the Handmaid? And maybe mom lalonde as well? Maybe that’s too much. I keep staring at your old art of them from back in 2016 (or smth) and I’m just a little obsessed? Yk?

aw jeez it is super old at this point isn't it! i still keep it as my header art, though!

First of all, thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!! I really really love writing Bro Strider in a way I cannot put into words and it's so silly I know that but man I just! Find it so fun and captivating. Mostly because he IS a Dirk Strider and that is the most interesting part of writing guardians, because we don't have access to anything about them, but we know about Dave's personality! We know about Dirk and his interests and insecurities! So it's just super fun to delve into the hypotheticals!

Now all that being said, YES RESOUNDING YES YOU CAN ASK ABOUT THEM ALL YOU WANT IT WOULD B E MY PLEASURE

I'm going to need a more. does the more button still work??

okay so my whole thing with those two....

One day I want to actually write an AU where they interact, but it'll be a production, and I have other things on my plate first!

But there is just something about the very little we know about them, Bro and the Handmaid.

We can try, like we do with Bro, to get as much as we can from our brief interactions with Damara in the dream bubbles, and yes she's awful, and sometimes on purpose, but I like this about her, too, how maybe she wasn't always like that, maybe she was pushed too far by her friends. She's bitter, and she's angry, and she uses this to her advantage. We see the Handmaid as a kid, trapped by Doc Scratch, in order to serve Lord English as an adult, which, obviously, she does, but she's trapped, and she wants out, and she does genuinely try to fucking die to get out of it??? and ???? and they bring her up again, when talking about how she's all fated to like, FINALLY die so that her powers can pass on to the Condense or whatever u know???

And what I just think is so interesting about that like, we have these two very different people, two different species, but in a way, both of them dealt with a version of Caliborn, both were tied to the element of Time; Bro raised a time player, the Handmaid and Aradia are both Time players, and of course the HM herself ends up serving LE, the lord of time.

And I just wonder at the fact that the Handmaid basically has spent every moment of her time, trapped in immortality, wanting to die, knowing she will, but being unable to until she fulfills her purpose

and then the headcanon that I have and share with a select few, where basically because since gamzee says a bunch of crazy shit about Lil Cal talking to him, and stuff, we love to think that maybe Bro knew from a young age that he would die in the game, and thus every passing year was like a slow march towards the end, and what does that mean for everything in between? Obviously rng exists, where I ramble about this at length, but I just think it's so much more interesting because we don't know how he felt about that, or if he could feel anything at all?

We don't really know anything about these two, just that they were both always going to die, and that it was a cosmic inevitability. Time bullshit! There's just something super fascinating to me about the concept of living a life with a set amount of time, and fulfilling a role vs actually being able to do what you want to do, and I like that even though the two are not related to each other in the main story, there are still things they have in common. AND I like to think that perhaps there's a bit of them both that would have that anger, or at least bitterness, about them, about getting no choice, about doing a job, and knowing that one day, when that job was finished, they would die. And i just constantly want to know what it would be like, to put them in a room together!

:) i hope any of this made sense!

As for Mom Lalonde, I would LOVE to keep talking but this is getting super long I suppose I could make my own post for that but??

Basically I think she is a complicated person, she's a guardian, she also served a purpose, and even if she didn't do a particularly good job, she was certainly still trying, and she certainly still did the best she could do. I think that she could have chosen not to drink, as much as any alcoholic can really make that choice, and I think that these are things that have real consequences on the people around you. Roxy as a young person tends towards being sort of selfish, and maybe a little involved in her own fantasy of what she thinks other people are like, but she does genuinely care about Dirk, and I like to think that Mom and Bro would have a similar bond, at least as kids! Of course things change as we get older, and resentment builds, and it's just! a mess! yeah! c:

ANYWAY I WOULD MAKE A WHOLE POST ABOUT MOM AND BRO ALSO SORRY I HOPE THIS IS ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was twelve. I don’t remember what his lips felt like but I do remember it was sometime after Valentines Day, the day we had our first hug. I was twelve. I don’t remember actually liking him but I do remember feeling pressured to “go out with him” because everyone told me to. He was relentless. Some people thought it was sweet but I was mean to him from the start. I remember he approached me in the hall and asked “hey, wana go out sometime?” to which my response was laughingly “uhm I have to pee now” as I awkwardly rushed into the bathroom, hoping that he would be gone by the time I came out. He asked until I was like “fuck it, sure, whatever”. So my first “boyfriend” was a result of “fuck it, sure, whatever”... sounds healthy. 

I was fourteen. Our first kiss was in his basement after we were making fishy faces. I don’t remember what his lips felt like but I do remember I actually liked him. Maybe I liked him because he wasn’t pushy. I felt like I had control. I liked control. I let him touch me but I had no intentions of touching him. I fell face first into idealized romance of a silly boy. I was fourteen. It lasted six months.

I was fifteen. He was afraid to approach me and had his friend do it instead. I remember approaching him afterwards and saying something probably stupid. He was surprised and in shock that I, a girl, approached him with apparently more than the intentions of being a friend. This was my first “love”. I had control at first. I remember pushing him against his locker on his birthday and initiating our fist kiss in front of a math teacher. I left him paralyzed. I liked it. I had control. Time went on and I simultaneously started finding myself within our creativity but losing myself to his same need for control. Will I just be another page in your book? We were in my basement. My pants were still mostly on. It didn’t hurt but didn’t feel good either. We had no idea what we were doing. It lasted six months. 

I was sixteen. By this point, I was coming into my sexuality. I liked the control, the power. I thrived on the idea that I could possibly have anyone I wanted. I still hadn’t made love but I would make out with anyone in the middle of the hallway just because I could. A slew of emotions ran over me here. I was embracing change but started smoking a lot of pot and fell into deeper depression than I had previously thought possible. I had a crush on a senior. We had computer class together and never spoke. It wasn’t until that next semester that he ended up asking me out. Of course, I said yes. He was a senior. I was sixteen. I was brainwashed. He “loved” me. That means it was okay for him to do whatever he wanted. That means it was okay that I was too fucked up to say no. I was sixteen. I’d like to say that was the start of my trauma but who knows.

I was seventeen. I was reckless, lost and still relentlessly hopefull. He was eighteen and had just graduated. I was a senior and already so done with high school that I ended up graduating early. For a while I thought “this is it” “this is what it’s like to love someone and have a relationship”. I was seventeen. I did not know the meaning of reciprocity. I did not know anything about building a relationship. Although, this time I had the control back. I enjoyed myself. I enjoyed sex, despite my lack of knowledge of my own body.

I was eighteen. Now is the time my memory starts to blur. I was with him for four years. I had accepted a role. It was a role built for me by society, him, my past and all those damn Disney movies. And not to mention my parents who not only loved and trusted him. By this time I started to understand that he had problems but didn’t know how to address it. 

I was nineteen. This was my worst year. I was unfaithful to myself and to my unfulfilling relationship. He got boring. He became predictable and stable. He became everything that I was not ready for. I had an affair with a dumbass. I jumped out of a moving vehicle. I inflicted most of the pain that I felt upon myself because I needed control. I craved control. I had no control. 

I was almost twenty. I found myself on a plane to Vienna. I roamed the streets of Langenfeldgasse alone. I got lost. I found myself. I followed an Australian man who wore blue flip flops and had dirty feet. He was backpacking. He was beautiful. He made me realize that I wanted that life. That trip made me realize how beautiful and unpredictable life is and to embrace change. I regained control. I craved change. I made change. I moved to Nashville. 

I was twenty. Things were beginning to take on a new perspective. Trying to embrace change but still going back home to see him every other weekend. For a while, it was nice I guess. I developed crushes on many people during that time. I acted on a few of them. I felt guilty. I still had a very limited understanding of my own body. I had no idea what it even felt like to have an orgasm. At that point, the clitoris was still a myth. 

I was twenty one. I started to realize that he in fact had many problems. I had adopted the mindset of “just get it over with” when it came to sex, which I later realized is a rape mentality. I felt needed so I stayed. I became comfortable in that pain so I stayed. I finally realized that there was no reason to stay with a narcissistic, abusive, mentally ill boy. I started the journey of re-self-discovery. I tried to date my neighbor. I listened to The Smiths A LOT and cried a lot too. I met someone who was nice to me and since he was better than the last one, I figured “this is it”. It lasted about six months. He left me on my birthday.

I was twenty two. I finally started to realize that I deserve something better. I feel knee deep into idealized romance. The first few months were great. I’m not sure why it fell apart or exactly how but I think we are too similar. We’re oddly enough friends now, even though I spent one year making myself miserable trying to be his friend.

I was twenty three. I went on a date. I spilled my drink all over him. Despite that, it seemed good. He opened up to me. It felt real. I slept over but didn’t put out. He didn’t text me back. He left me on my birthday.