#hope summer doesnt see this but the reason i stopped reading was when we got keefes pov
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hi! if you’re accepting requests from prompt list #2, does angst to fluff count lol. 5 from angst, 49 from fluff lists! with reader thinking din loves someone else 🥺 i like mando x omera but.. reader who perhaps doesnt have the skills omera has and sees how din looks at her… THE ANGST 😌🤌
AN | Me, writing some Din? It’s been a hot minute, but here we are. I miss him 🥺
Warnings | None
Pairing | Din x Fem!Reader
Masterlist | Din, Main
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
A small sigh, a wistful little thing, escaped your lips as you studied the gently lapping water of the lake. It was calm here, a peaceful, tranquil place that served as a welcome refuge after all that you'd been through in the last few years. Sometimes it seemed almost too good to be true. The distant sounds of laughter met your ears as children ran around and played, carefree as could be. Sometimes you wished you were that young again; innocent to life’s darker sides. Unfortunately that wasn’t a possibility, but for now you’d take the peace and stillness you could get.
Pulling off your boots and socks, you quickly tossed them to the side. The water was warm as you relaxed and leaned back, closing your eyes and soaking up the warmth of the summer sun. It wasn’t until you heard the familiar voice that your eyes slowly snapped back opened. Your heart constricted slightly as you spotted Din nearby speaking to Omera. He seemed so happy, in a much better mood than you’d seen in a long time. It was all her, and you remained invisible. Which, when it came to most things wasn’t too bad, but sometimes you wished he would see you.
“Is somebody jealous?” you hadn’t even heard the bounty hunter walk over; you supposed that’s one of the many reasons he was the best in the galaxy. Boba offered a small grimace before sitting down next to you. You shrugged him off staring back into the water. You were not about to get into anything with Boba; that man was insufferable and usually right.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you brushed him off, trying desperately not to look back at Din. Instead, you focused on the water and watched the tiny fish whiz through the water; a few of them brushed by your feet, sending a ticklish shiver up your spine, “I’m just...enjoying the calm afternoon sun and soaking up as much peace before we inevitably leave again.”
“That’s how this all works,” Boba sighed as you nodded in agreement, “you knew that from the day you became my apprentice.”
“I know,” you whispered, “but I hoped at one point I could...walk away and have a normal life. Like this.”
“Normal is all relative,” he had a point as you huffed lightly and stood up, brushing off your pants and reaching for your boots, “but if this is what you want, what you truly want, you know you’re welcome to leave whenever. I would not hold you back from the life you wanted.”
“I know, Boba,” you put your hand on his shoulder and gave it a light squeeze, “the problem is that I don’t really know what I want...I think I know but...it’s more than that.”
“Of course,” he agreed, casting a quick glance at the object of your affections before turning back to you, “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
“Either way, it will work out, just as it always does,” you swallowed the lump that had welled up in your throat, “Boba, why are you doing this?”
“I just want to make sure you’re happy - that you know that you have choices in what you’re doing,” he said like it was no big deal, but to you it meant so much. This hardened, sometimes gruff man really did have a heart of gold underneath it all, “should you want to part ways, I would understand. Should you want to stay, I’d be more than happy to have you with me. I don’t know what the future holds for myself, Fennec, or Djarin, but you know it will not always be easy. But sometimes you have to decide what’s most important.”
“Yes,” you answered softly, “thank you, Boba.”
He remained silent as you laced up your boots before padding away, back towards the village. You knew you had a lot to think about and if you wanted things to change at all, you’d have to figure out something. You cast a glance over your shoulder and you were almost positive that you’d spotted Din looking in your direction. But it was all a trick of the mind; it had to be. Why would he spare you more than a passing thought anyways?
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
It was late by the time he found you; much later than any reasonable person should have been outside, but you couldn’t sleep. There was too much on your mind to silence, and if you managed to, it was short-lived and another thought came to replace the previous one. Eventually you’d given up and wandered out of the small hut home that had been acting as your own home for the last couple of months. You knew the area was safe and wanted to enjoy the temperate night air before it turned to a crisp fall breeze, or worse - you’d be gone.
Small bugs chirped happily along with the soft songs of nightbirds as you walked around the sleeping village; you weren’t scared here, you felt safe and at home. But as you rounded a corner, a gloved hand reached out and grabbed your wrist. A small yelp of surprise left your lips as you pulled into a wall of cool metal - beskar.
“Shhh,” Din placed a finger to his lips as you relaxed when you realized it was him, “you’ll wake everyone up. It’s just me.”
“Dank Farrik!” you hissed at him, “how was I supposed to know that? You could have been a murderer!”
“Well….you should be in bed sleeping.”
“So should you!” your arms crossed over your chest as you stared him down, and eventually he huffed in defeat, realizing you were right. He couldn’t sleep either, plagued by the choices he knew that he had to make sooner rather than later. He hadn’t expected you to be out as well, “what are you doing anyway?”
“Couldn’t sleep,” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck nervously, a flash of...something in his dark eyes, “I thought that some fresh air would clear my head.”
“Same here,” you admitted reluctantly, leaving the two of you in an awkward silence. You wished you had enough bravery (or perhaps even stupidity) in your body to just say something to him then and there. At least it would be out of the way; but you weren’t feeling anything but nervous butterflies fluttering in your tummy, “I...umm...I guess I’ll get back. Try and sleep.”
“Hey-” he reached for your arm gently before you could get too far away. You turned around and raised an eyebrow as he opened and closed his mouth a few times, “d-did I do something wrong?”
“What? What are you talking about?” the question caught you off guard, but judging by the look on his face, you could sense that this was something he had been thinking for some time.
“You’ve been different lately...it almost feels like you’re avoiding me.”
“Oh DIn, you’re being ridiculous,” and yet the accusation was very true.
“You’re fine around Boba, Fennec...everyone else. But every time I’m around it feels like you can’t wait to get away,” you should have known that he would have noticed sooner or later. The man was more observant than you’d cared to admit, “if I did something, please tell me.”
“You can’t be serious, Djarin. There’s nothing wrong…”
“Then why have you been avoiding me?”
“I haven’t been doing anything. You’ve got too much free time and your mind is running wild.”
“Tell me it’s not true then.”
“Din-”
“Tell me.”
“The problem is that you’re in love with someone else,” the words were out of your mouth before you even contemplated them. You were mortified and in some ways you were relieved. At least it was all out in the open now and you were able to let the chips land where they may.
“Oh,” was his only response as his head tilted to the side and he looked at you in confusion, “what?”
“I...kriff,” you sighed, “I shouldn’t have said that. Sorry - forget I said anything.”
“Who am I in love with?”
“What do you mean?” tears welled up in your eyes at his response; almost like a cruel joke, “you know, everyone knows! Omera; and why wouldn’t you be? She’s wonderful - kind, smart, beautiful … everything. Part of me wants to dislike her, but I can’t because she’s such a good person but it kills me a little bit to know that you love her and you’ll never even think twice about me. I know that’s super selfish but it’s the way I feel; and judging from how this is going I think I’m making the right decision by leaving. By myself.”
Din said nothing as a few tears rolled down your cheeks. You laughed bitterly at yourself before realizing that this might have been the best decision after all. You couldn’t stay after this.
It wasn’t long before Din came to his senses and ran after you, calling your name and catching up with a few easy strides. You came to a reluctant stop as you sniffled and waited for him to say something, despite the fact that you weren’t sure you wanted to hear whatever he had to say.
“I-I-I’m not in love with Omera,” he insisted as it became your turn to look at him in bewilderment, “I’m in love with you.”
“What?”
“I’ve been talking to her about you,” he confessed, “about how to do...this sort of thing. But then you started avoiding me and I wondered if maybe I’d read the signs wrong and you didn’t like me at all. At least not in that way.”
“I don’t….what?” you heard his words but weren’t able to fully comprehend them. This had to be some sort of weird fever dream. Din sighed - his trademark sigh - before ripping off his gloves and gently putting his hands on the sides of your face. He was hesitant at first, to see if you would stop him. But you didn’t...instead you relished in his touch, the feel of his bare skin on yours sending electric shivers throughout your whole body.
After a few moments of quietly studying your features, he leaned in and slowly pressed his lips against yours. It wasn’t a proper kiss by any means, hardly more than a ghost of one, but it felt...strangely wonderful. You looked at him in disbelief as he pulled back; was this really the same man that you’d met all that time ago that wouldn’t even tell anyone his name or let them see his face?
“Oh.”
“Can we go inside?” he whispered softly, “can we talk?”
“Yeah,” you agreed gently. He reached for your hand but before he could take it in his, you stopped him and pressed another sweet, barely there kiss to his lips. A tinge of pink colored his cheeks as you beamed at him, “now we can go.”
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
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#din djarin#din djarin x reader#din djarin x you#din djarin x fem!reader#the mandalorian#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x you#the mandalorian x reader
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toffee!
hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)
YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults
ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)
hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)
> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy
back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious
no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.
yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)
YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.
hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!
hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?
wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?
no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying
<3 w.a. 🐺
sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;
yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.
i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone.
dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.
abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.
anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://
HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*
i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.
i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.
it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.
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mlm imo werent sexualized to the degree that wlw were in most canon media mostly because of the male gaze. Gay and Lesbian relationships or moments got very limited representation. One was probably more sympathetic but also heart breaking like say brokeback mountain. One was explicit but depicted as grotesque or twisted or perverted or immoral in some way. And the last version was the titillating version. In western media because of the assumed straight male gaze lesbians making out to titlate guys was a common thing like say in Jennifer's body. The equivalent of that with guys wasnt really that common not in western media. Not that wlw couldn't like that content but it was made to be fanservice for men .
So thats what I kind of mean by wlw were sexualized at least in western media. This equivalent with mlm in fandom never really existed they never made out for girls to find hot in the same way. It was never marketed like oh look hot guys making out. Fandom did that but not canon.
As for comic book men being sexualized kind of. There is definitely the unrealistic beauty standards but theres that debate of was it for the purpose of titillating women? Or a result of toxic masculinity putting this unattainable unsustainable goal for men. Maybe both? But both in comics and the movies they are based on the posing and clothing and moments with women get made to clearly sexualize them . It especially ovbious with comics with them twisting their bodies so their boobs and butts are jutting out. Or like movie moments like Bruce landing in Natasha's clevage. Or angles where you are staring down a female character's shirt or she has a boob window for some contrived reason. Or just reasons to give full page spreads of them in skimpy clothing.
Its rare men get depicted like this or posed like this. And when they do it often stands out because its not the norm. It's something unique. Not true with men. Even in form fitting spandex they are often posed and framed to make to make them look powerful or intelligent or to reveal things about their character.
Again not that men never get sexualized or that fanservice is always bad. Or that its not a concern that men are having these terrible body image issues. But just that for women for the sexualization its so pervasive and constant was my point.
Its just as bad in wlw in canon as it is for women in relationships with men in canon when it comes to that sexualization but i hear so much more about the problems about the wlw ship than the mlw ship. Like to use DC as a example i hear so much about how people sexualized or mishandle harleyivy but compared to that i hear very little about batcat in comparison even though Catwoman is often just as sexualized in that ship.
As for misogyny in shipping wars yes it definetly exists and is a problem as is racism and homophobia. But my issue is mostly that the problem isnt because the main popular ships are mlm. But so often I see the argument framed that way.
Like shipping wars existed between m/w ships and still do today. And they are still often pretty misogynistic towards the woman in the other ship. I don't even have to look at other fandoms I remember Steggy vs Starton getting real ugly.
Mysogny in fandom doesn't uniquely pop up when mlm are the more popular ship. Its often just as bad in fandoms where m/w is the popular ship. But people just bring it up alot more they make it bout valuing the men over the women .
Well i mean that goes both ways you could say its homophobic for valuing the straight ship as better than the gay one or liking it more. But either way its stupid they dont care bout sexism or homophobia only that their ship is more popular.
Thats the sentiment of all ship wars the gender dynamics and racial make up change nothing. Nothing except the bullshit you use for the ship war.
The problem is that people are being homophobic and mysogynistic and racist not just in regards to fictional characters but towards real people just to win a ship war. It comes out so easily. Thats the problem imo.
Mysogny for example i think isnt discussed as much when its a m/w vs m/w ship war or drama because as both ships have women it can't be used to slander the other ship. But when its drama between fans of a m/m and m/w it comes out alot again not because anyone really cares but because now because one ship lacks a woman it can be used as fodder for what people actually care about. Tearing down the other ship.
Again not that mlm fandom doesnt have mysogny. They definetly do. But they aren't mysogynistic because they ship two guys together. Thats not proof they hate women. Having a ship with women isnt proof that you aren't sexist towards women. There might be homophobia in fandoms of mlm ships and mysogny in fandoms of m/w ships.
But in the drama between a m/w and m/m ships that doesn't get brought up because no one cares if that problem can't be used to show that someone only doesn't ship your ship if they are bigoted against it. Who cares about misogyny if your ship is two guys? Who cares about homophobia if your ship is straight?
No one because they cared about the popularity of their ship not the actual issues.
Gonna under under the cut for length again.
This is a lot to read so I'm gonna respond paragraph by paragraph and hope for the best in terms of comprehension.
When it comes to media made about the LGBTQ+ community, you have to keep in mind when it was made, who made it, and who was it made for. And that it's been shown that straight women have had the same reactions to mlm content as straight men to wlw content. QaF was dumbfounded to find that the majority of their audience was straight women when the show's sex scenes were 95% between two or more men and yet that's what they ran with because hey, it got the views. The views of mlm and wlw content in the mainstream media before then was minimized, despite how fucked a lot of the other content could be. If by "most canon media" being directed at the male gaze being summer blockbusters, and more specifically comic book movies, then sure. If we step out of that box, then not really. The film examples you chose are interesting because BB is portrayed exactly how the author of the original short story wrote it which was meant to be heartbreaking since it was a tragic dramatic piece while JB has a woman who wrote and another woman who directed it while purposefully trying to allow to actress to have a level of sexuality without exploiting her as past directors have (also neither of the main characters are lesbians - one is bi, the other I think is straight but maybe questioning?).
The sexualization of wlw in modern western media is definitely a thing. I mean, the first Iron Man film has stewardesses on the private jet pole dancing if I remember correctly. It took until 2016 to stop sexualizing Scarlett in every movie: the changing scene in IM2, the lowered zipper in A1, the ass shot in Cap 2, the boob faceplant in AoU (in your third paragraph, but mentioning it here anyway). It's a joke that you know when a man directs a wlw indie film during the sex scenes. But the mlm equivalent did exist alongside it, and it's what kicked off the century.
Comics and their movies were always for men. The male bodies are male wish fulfilment for their physical appearance. The women are male wish fulfilment for their dream girls. Funnily enough, one of the least sexualized women in comics I've ever read is Sharon. She's rarely, if ever, drawn to be sexualized for the audience. I'm not even sure she's even been in those swimsuit issues Marvel did years ago. And it shows heavily that Marvel struggles to know how to appeal to women without being aggressively in your face about it. The best example of them appealing without pandering is WV, and the worst is the group shots the Russos did in IW and Endgame, especially the latter.
But the men get those poses in the movies too. Thor bathed shirtless for no reason in TDW. There's a scene in Endgame dedicated to talking about Steve's ass. Pratt in GotG. Rudd in Ant-Man. Most actors are expected to look good shirtless and put themselves through intense shit to look that way. So do the women, but they aren't doing it to have the glamor shots of their muscles. And the MCU is not the only film franchise like this. Most, if not all, franchises with majority or entirely male leads expects them all to look like bodybuilders. And I'm gonna take back that it's just for the male audience, because these bodies are meant to appeal to women who are intended to thirst for these actors too. They think these bodies is what will bring women to the theaters.
None of this will change, as you say, that women's sexualization is "constant and pervasive". The film industry is just a part of the larger whole of media. Television and advertising have a treatment of women that's beyond whatever you or I say because there are decades worth of shit to go through that would take dozens of essays worth of writing to fully divulge beyond "please stop it's gross".
Now DC is a whole other ballgame. They're pretty infamous for their artists' sexualization of heroines and villainesses. Harley, Ivy, and Selina are definitely pretty bad, but when I remember what I've seen drawn of Kara, Kori, or sometimes Barbara... But outside of one artist, I think Harley and Ivy as a couple have been drawn tamely. Can't say the same for Selina, because they just can't not draw every part of her body even when she's fully clothed.
I think it's hard not to talk about fandom misogyny outside of m/m ships because of how often popular m/m shippers have rooted their shipping into misogyny. And even with m/f ship wars, a lot of the time the "faulted" character is always the woman when majority of the time it's the man who sucks. I don't get why everyone is fighting for who should kiss Steve because Steve sucks and they'd be better off without him. But because Steve is the object of affection for our fave, we have to fight off everyone else.
Don't look at other fandoms for m/f ship wars. We don't appreciate how tame we were, even at our worst. I'm serious, I've seen so much worse.
I think why the topic of misogyny comes up more with m/m ships is because they follow a similar principle of the male characters being more developed in canon and fanon so it's who people gravitate towards.
There is definitely layers of homophobia in fandom, but there's many versions of how we see it. Homophobes who won't ship anything that's not m/f. Homophobes who ship m/m but won't support IRL rights. People who love m/m but abhor f/f, and vice-versa. The shippers who use them for personal fodder. But the sexism is more prevalent than the homophobia. And the racism way more than both combined.
And it does cause a lot of ammo, and much of it severely unjustified, in ship wars. Literally the bullshit I've seen pulled out of thin air to accuse Sharon of not being worthy because someone said she's a racist for [they literally had no reason just called her one because we said Sam and Sharon are friends because they are] and other nonsense.
The real world repercussions of the homophobia, the sexism, and the racism in fandom... there's just so much. Like we are all still people, and yet we decide because we hide behind screens to be antagonistic, and use homophobic, sexist, and racist shit to attack each other over ships just because we want to paint the other person as crazy, I guess? If you can't see that there are no enemies in ship wars and that the other side is still people, maybe you need to sit out and log off. It's baffling how often it still happens to people. Then it's no longer about ships, it's about who is an asshole.
I will say that Steve and Peggy vs Steve and Sharon is probably the only m/f ship war I've seen where misogyny is talked about. Is, not was, because it still is. Both sides call the others misogynistic. I don't think either side is, but you can see in individuals. Those who tweeted at a certain actress that she was a slut for kissing her costar certainly are though.
You are right that shipping m/m isn't inherently sexist. But tearing down women in those ships to prop up m/m has made me stop shipping certain characters altogether. People, seriously, we don't have to justify why we like them! We can just like them! And other characters can still exist! It's never been that deep.
And you're right, the popularity of the ship helps people ignore any deeper issues within them and this is a power used to silence valid criticism if it pops up.
(I hope I answered everything well for you.)
~Mod R
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Vent (or an observation turned into vent)
if you read any of this, congrats! you know me better than the person that matters to me the most and i'm so far gone that i don't even care if some faceless stranger knows me better than my family and friends combined!
my brain kinda stopped for a moment and i realised that i don't even know what one of my friends likes anymore. that i have no idea what to get her for her birthday.
i've known her for 9 years and have called my best friend for a few of them but i feel like i never really knew her. i guess i'm just feeling kinda melancholic about it but mostly just numb.
the part of me that wants to destroy myself is glad that we are becoming more and more distant, not just with her but with my other friends but the logical part doesnt know how to feel about it because on one hand they arent exactly good for me but on the other i don't want to cut contact with them either.
at first, i told them that i would take a break from interacting w people for a week but now i feel like it's probably been too long.
two weeks is a long time, i think.
i just can't seem to recharge enough to interact with them for more then an hour each week.
i feel like i probably am a bad friend but summers are always fucked up for me and i usually have to cut contact with everyone for most of them anyway because of my parents "discipline" (taking phone away for reasons i dont ever remember) but this time i cant even feel the smallest regret or feeling of guilt. have i ever felt guilty? probably not
sometimes i dont even feel human and its such a comforting thought even if i feel like i should be scared of it instead. i'm so sick of having a body that my own mind can't seem to recognize without clothing on bad days so i have to be mindful enough to not look in a mirror every time i'm in the bathroom. it makes me ill, to think that i dont even want to have facial features. at this point i'm only here because of spite and the will to see a (hopefully) brighter future.
i'm just.. so tired of living, y'know? some days i despise dazai but i regrettably do understand his outlook on life way better then i feel comfortable enough admitting to anyone, even the person who is the only one who matters to me. they are like a parent to me and i seek for their approval that i probably already have but i am so starved of praise that i probably wouldn't ever be able to believe them anyway. it probably has to do with my childhood. i thought that i was okay with being a lonely child but i guess i got too lonely
i'll probably never heal from my trauma and i think that i'm slowly making peace with that fact. i'll just try to live my life to the fullest with spite and fight for the will to live until i can't and then i'll finally lay to rest. i can't wait for that joyful moment. i wonder what it feels like, to die. i could probably ask my pendulum but she probably wont be happy that i'm asking questions centering death again. instead i'll beg her to lead me by the hand once i finally pass. i always cry a bit when discussing my death with her. it fills me with overwhelming emotions, to know that someone will finally care for me, that i'll finally get to actually see or touch her. i love her for choosing me, for being my guardian deity.
if you read any of this and it resonated with you, i'm truly sorry, i'd say "i hope it gets better" or some other sappy shit like that but we both know that i probably don't particularly care about anything like that and it doesn't matter to me because my mind is still grieving things i dont even remember.
life is truly fucked, i wish you the best of luck with living, i guess
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yoooo it’s pris again! ( i also play @aimeesgao ) this time with the boi jay de leon, or just deli, bc he’s dumb n says it’s short for delicious. definitely a simp. if u wanna read more about this dumpster fire of a man that i’ve based off of all the pinoy boys i know slkfjds pls read below ! and as always, message me or like this post so we can plot and do all that fun stuff yee
( manny jacinto, cis male, he/him ) have you heard about JAY DE LEON? they’re a TWENTY EIGHT year old TEAM LEAD in the PHOTOGRAPHY team. i don’t know what their last job was, all i know is that they’re originally from LOS ANGELES, CA. carol in hr said that they’re kinda HEDONISTIC and MISCHIEVOUS but jessica in marketing insists that they are JOVIAL and CHARISMATIC. at the end of the day, no one is worthy of the instant hype here. i just hope they get achieve their dream of being A TRAVEL PHOTOGRAPHER one day. According to the latest Vibez quiz, their Disney soulmate is Li Shang. ( pris, she/her, 23, pst )
BIO
deli is an la native all the way, literally grew up right in historic filipinotown and knows this city by heart
his family, which consisted of him, his two older bros, a little sis and a dog, were lower middle class, so they didn’t have a ton of free spending money but were able to get by. both his parents emigrated from the ph before he was born
school was never really his strong suit, at least when he was younger. he had other things he was interested in that didn’t involve studying and while his parents disciplined it was never really enough to change his behavior
what he does love? dance. while studying did indeed suck, he was able to at least keep his gpa up enough to stay on the dance team in high school
it was no question that he’d go to community college first to figure things out after graduating high school, because higher education was on the map..... it was just that he got sidetracked by other things
things took a turning point, however, toward the end of his senior year when his father lost his job during the recession. both he and his dad sought out minimum wage jobs after that, & deli juggled his two part time jobs with school
his goal then was to transfer to a 4 year university, which he eventually did 3 years later and entered ucla as a transfer student
there, he resumed his passion for dance in various teams and was active in cultural orgs. it was also when he really started becoming a raver and never looked back. he had always been into photography, then capturing events really helped him grow in his craft
as a result of his portfolio, he was invited to apply to vibez as intern for the summer after he graduated college
there was a part of him that was hesitant though, as his degree was unrelated (communications major, asian am minor) and he hoped to have a set job instead of an internship. but if you know deli, you know the guy is king of throwing caution to the wind
what started out as an internship to add some experience to his resume, soon became a permanent job on the photography team
he’s stayed put for the past 4 years, excited at actually being able to turn his passion into a career
besides that, the job was just fun. eventually, he worked his way up to lead and has been sitting in the position for nearly a year
a lot of people say he doesn’t take his job seriously, but deli would say that there’s nothing wrong with laughing and being a riot as long as you meet the deadlines
work hard, party harder amirite? soft fuckbois have rights. deli is ceo of the company
the change in leadership has kind of thrown deli off tbh -- he hates the faster turnaround and the idea of quantity over quality but who is he to say anything?
STATS
sexuality: pan / queer
sun sign: sagittarius
ascendant: gemini
moon: sagittarius
MBTI: enfp
moral alignment: chaotic good
enneagram: 7w6
hogwarts house: gryffindor
vibes: peter pan, lil papi evangelista, klaus hargreeves
WANTED CONNECTIONS
platonic
RIDE OR DIE: charli xcx / vroom vroom - pax.
PARTY BUDDIES: other ravers, drinkers, parties that are down to hang
BAD INFLUENCER: *enables u*- brady.
PLUG: his yelp reviews are 5 stars
PRANKSTERZ: the prank wars at vibez between them refuses to let up,,, it just gets more n more ridiculous,, pls stop them - sutton.
WORK WIFE/HUSBAND(S): it can be a poly work marriage he doesnt discriminate - hunter.
conflicts
HATER: for some reason, deli really grinds their gears so they can’t stand him - vanessa.
FRENEMIES: self explanatory
FORMER FRIEND: self explanatory
romantic ( open to m/f/enby )
FUCK BUDDIES: it’s just. fun. booty calls! are! valid!
FWB: we love to see it
RAVE BAE: u aint down
FLAMES: so it’s getting spicy spicy eh?
repeats the msg: if u made it all the way down here, ily ty! again, feel free to dm me or like this post and i will come bother u <333 also technically i’m at work rn oop so if i’m late to responding im so sorry lskfjls
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OKAY so say I wanted to, theoretically, start reading fics about them and, like the dumb bitch I am, have not seen the show nor have the attention span to actually, you know, watch the show but instead am just feeling way too many emotions at the gif sets and need an outlet. How much context do I need?
ohh god so CONTEXT there is so much stuff that happens in this show and i also dont wanna spoil too much i guess so i will try to boil it down to as little as i can
i suppose how much context u need depends on what kinda fic ur reading and i actually dont read that much fic these days so i cant really recommend much, that being said tho, anything written by @lanzhanshands is AMAZING and everyone should go read their stuff
if u just wanna go with the cute fluffy stuff u might not need much more context then that they are in LOVE they’re stupid and dense about it and that they sort of accidentally adopt a child but if u want more angsty feely stuff u might need more context so i will give u a quick as little spoilers as possible rundown
SO lwj and wwx are in love - the main thing u need to know, the main thing everybody needs to know - very important, tho u will have probably already picked up on this
lwj basically falls in love with him the moment he first sees him and wwx is very dense and doesnt realise for AGES bc while he is very smart he is also very dumb and we love him
okay so VERY brief rundown of plot:
wwx and lwj meet @ summer school when they’re 15. lwj has a crush on him and is incredibly annoyed abt this. plot happens stuff happens, lwj sings wwx a love song in a cave, more plot stuff happens, wwx goes missing then comes back all Sad and he’s been learning the flute which ppl dont like bc they’re jealous of his flute skills and the cool amulet that goes with it
some more stuff happens, lwj and wwx do some Intense Pining, wwx gets outcast from everyone so he leaves to go do some farming on a graveyard and accidentally adopts a child along with many of the childs relatives, lwj is very sad he can’t join them
then everyone gets so mad abt his flute skills that they try to kill him and it works. he gets yeeted off a cliff by his brother and dies (not a spoiler btw its literally the first scene in the first ep).
so wwx is dead, lwj is very sad and Pines for 16 years and adopts wwx’s accidentally adopted kid. then its 16 years later and wwx is back from the dead all thanks to some guy named mo xuanyu sacrificing his body or some shit like that. lwj and wwx have a very intense reunion and then decide to go solving crime and ghosting hunting together. there’s more pining and intense staring and some more playing of some love songs and then theres a big show down and the bad guys get stopped. then they go their seperate ways for ??? reasons and then at the very end they reunite again
its implied that after it finished and they reunited they properly get together like in the book so probably quite a lot of fics are actually set after the ending and stuff when its a fully established relationship but theres also fics where ppl just have them get together in the middle of everything which is very valid
anyway i did try keep this brief lmao im sorry this got kinda long, hope this gives u as much context as u need :D
#hope this actually answers ur question i have rambled a lot im sorry#i may have just made u have more questions#if u have more i can try answer them tho!#it may not be coherent but i will try#answered#anon
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BDRP 2021 Resolutions
Write your RPer Resolutions for 2018! (What are some goals for yourself as a writer? Improve descriptions? Plot with more members? Etc.)
A silly goal but I would like another female character lol
More one-shots! I always have these ideas for them but because I let them grow too large in my brain or I feel like I need to turn them into a proper ‘short story’ I intimidate myself out of doing them and then let the opportunity to slide. So this year I hope to fix that and once again be more chillax with myself. (Though here is a shoutout to me bc I published some one-shots last year I was happy about, like Nemo’s “Breath,” Berlioz’s parentage reveal, and my John Darling stuff!)
Do One Task Every Month. Another small but very doable goal
Learn how to say no: ahaha this seems a weird thing to put here but its actually about events and i feel this is a safe space to admit that i love love events but they like, truly take a toll on my arthritic hands which means i really can only do two characters probably. But i feel bad only rping with just two ppl etc esp if other people hit me up, or if there are other people i WANT to rp with, so i end up not doing it at all because i get overwhelmed and feel like no one will believe me about my shitty hands (which is of course silly but man chronic illness anxiety am i right). Sooooo i need to find a better way to enjoy events and manage my own health!
Finish some of the fairy lore stuff i got in the works lol
Write at least one resolution, or “goal,” that you have as an RPer for your character(s)
These vaguely feel like spoilers but oh well i love spoilers
Berlioz: Find His Daddy. Also groove room stuff.
Hades: Pokevolve his emotional intelligence! Also would like to do more Board things with him actually, esp bc he will have to run for office so: focus on his political aspirations
Merida: Integrate into society! She is doing it more but I really hope her friendships with the knights will let her fully embrace herself again. ALSO ALSO alpha Merida!
Charlie: Greater control over his magic and more confidence in himself. We gettin there bb
Ashleigh: Entangle her further with the knights/Henry and eventually reveal she’s a mara bc i would like that for Henry it will be horrifying for him
Nemo: embrace dance as a career option and therefore overcome the systematic factors that have convinced u that u cant! YOU CAN
Jun: Date. (Horrifying for him. Not his goal.) Also just more hijinks, I love love hijinks, would love business-related hijinks.
Olaf: Get more involved on campus!! More uni plots for him would be great esp when it comes to figuring out if he’ll stay on campus after this year (and also like how this affects his friendship with Sindri)
Atta: QUEEN STUFF. This is first on my list so we’re gonna make you happen. Blow up Atta’s life, really make her deal with that imposter syndrome. Love it.
Pip: Put the mortifying fear of being known into Pip. aka open up about his mum a bit with like, someone. Or just admit that the people he says are his enemies are actually his friends.
Write at least one resolution IN CHARACTER for your characters. What do THEY want to accomplish or change in the New Year?
Note that I love seeing which characters echo my goals and which ones don’t at all. It’s just fun and neat. Probably says something about each one’s emotional self-awareness. (Mostly pointing out how Hades is extremely self-aware i love that for him)
TW: weight
Berlioz: Literally nothing. Sorry he just thinks resolutions are stupid and life is pointless (he is in a state).
Hades: Prepare for his election next year, raise his children well, help Belle in her recovery
Merida: Assist King Arthur. Become a good alpha to Alice specifically (not u lou i mean like she is but she’s like that bitch doesnt need me)
Charlie: Reup his certs! Figure out a specialty!
Ashleigh: Revenge against Romeo, revenge against John Darling + company for destroying her tree
Nemo: Get an apprenticeship this year. Work on Hangul. Lose seven stone. Work on wing sprints. Be better son. Be more responsible and help Appa. Get job again? ...Quit dance?
Jun: something nerdy about increasing the overall revenue or something of the market i dont know im not a business person. Also something nerdy about Animal Crossing, maybe he wants to add a new room to his house. Jun’s goals have nothing to do with himself personally.
Olaf: Get involved in uni! Learn more about his talent and practice it intentionally, including how to control it better so he is not overwhelmed in situations like the nightmare fog.
Atta: Help Dot with her apprenticeship!! Learn more stuff about clumsy culture. Pass her petition about water fountains.
Pip: Grow SSIC followers by 100+; grow Spill engagement by 20%; arrange guest speakers for SSIC and maybe help SSIC write a petition together?; get a solo for the spring concert; get a lead role in the summer musical; read 50 books in a year; drink less coffee (he will fail this last one)
List one or more characters you have never interacted with that you would like to do so
Ferb. Technically I did interact with him but it was just ONE gif chat when he first got here and I would like to do more!! I think he’s great, i love all of Sid’s characters!
Bianca: HOW HAVE I NOT RPED WITH BIANCA! I don’t know but I want to. Maybe Merida and Bianca would be interesting bc of RAS things! (Also I have interacted with Kristoff but I want to do stuff with Kristoff and trolls please message me bee if u want to do troll things...i love. them.)
Rita: In a similar vein, I think Rita/Ber or Rita/Pip might be interesting. Pip totally looks up to Rita and sees her as a role model so i dunno that could be cool.
Rose: Whitman: Kit, we need to have Rose and Merida interact. Fighty ladies. I am sure with the knights this can happen!
Pacifica: Hello Lins, Pacifica and Ashleigh should be Best Friends Of Course. I could also maybe see Pacifica and Jun if Pacifica wants to do some kind of business philanthropy for her image etc. Or Olaf and Pacifica! Sounds like a wild time, that.
Tod: Olaf/Tod would probably be very fun, I love Pixie friendships! Also maybe Ber bc i think Ber knows Tod from way back when maybe?
Edward: Z PLEASE. PLEASE. Pip and Edward bc they are from the same movie and no other reason!! But I will also throw literally anyone at him.
Plotting Exercise! Pick one of the resolutions/goals in #2 and plan a rough guideline to how you could accomplish it. Here’s an example.
ATTA’S ROYAL TALENT AWAKENS
Attendy: Atta goes ice skating with Wendy and has to stop bc of a headache and faints on the ice!!!
@: Directly after attendy, Dot panics about Atta’s health and wants her to come clean. They fight!
Full Moon Event: Atta faints again in front of everyone. MARLIN helps heal her and Dot/Sled confesses to Queen Clarion what’s going on.
Clarion/Atta: Oh Honey You Got A Big Storm Coming
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honestly i have no idea how i’m supposed to make it to ep 165
because 162 killed me, like 3 times
spoilers below the cut!
ITS GERRY!!!!!! MR KEAY I MISS YOU
but this is the first time we’ve actually Heard him, not secondhand or with spooky ghost echo, just as a normal voice on a tape. and i just want to hug him so much because ohhhh boy he has no idea what’s going to happen and also i am love him
“do i get to hear them?” “perhaps. if you live long enough.” shut up gertrude shut the fuck up don’t just mention gerry dying so casually its Rude
hmmm i might write a fic where jon, sasha and gerry are somehow all the archivist because I Can Do What I Want
ooo here we have more fire in the archives foreshadowing
did. did gerry’s chair scrape when gertrude raised her voice. like he flinched. someone hug this man
and then his voice goes all quiet when gertrude is lecturing him and Mary Keay Can Catch These Hands
“you are occasionally useful despite your foolishness” wowwww gertrude. what glowing praise. don’t just say that to his face come onnnn
but “useful” though. “useful”. i know we already know gertrude is an ‘ends justify means’ type character but goddamn if that isn’t just a perfect description of her relationships with people: categorised by their use to her plans and nothing more
“the network of sinister tunnels that snake beneath the archive” gertrude definitely knows about the tunnels lets be real. she’s just protecting jurgen leitner stupid idiot motherfucking jurgen leitner goddamn fool book collecting dust eating rat old bastard shithead idiot avatar of the whore
what i wouldn’t give for gerry to have canonically beaten up jurgen leitner more than once. that’s going in my triple archivist fic
“what happens if we fail” oh. oh no. oh no whats gertrude going to say
“i suspect death puts us beyond their power” hmmm. seems like a fair point but i feel like the end would come up with some fuckery because this universe is a bastard and doesn’t let anyone get the rest they deserve. this isn’t really important to the plot (at least I Hope Not) but the thought of eldritch fear gods being able to reach us after death... chills
“[actual death] is preferable to lingering in a world they control” oh no that’s not good for jon to hear
“they might even stop death entirely.” hmmm. HMMMMMM
“and taxes?” “taxes i imagine will continue” hell yeah jonny get his ass (’him’ being capitalism). also i know the coronavirus lockdown isnt exactly an apocalypse caused by eldritch fear gods forcing themselves through into our world, but considering the shit thats been going on? yeah i imagine taxes would continue
“could it be undone?” “no, i don’t think so” oh no. oh no jon. jon nooo. he’s just playing it over and over and god he must be feeling so guilty and helpless. he also gets a hug. and another. and then three more. then one more but it lasts for like an hour before i have to phase back into my own dimension
TIM AND SASHA i’m still not prepared to hear their voices i love they
sasha is so competent she’s incredible and i am in awe of her
hell yeah tim is drinking his respect woman juice
“jimmy magma. joany magnum? jack magnet” asjdfhakjfhakjhfk tim you’re the best
“what if we kill him” Fuck Off Jonny You Can’t Do That
SADHJA WAS GOIJNG YO QUIKT I AM SJDFHKJLASLKFDJGKSDJHF
holy fuck we got canon timsasha. also “you’re not the love interest”??? sasha was a lesbian. source: me, also a lesbian. who can Do What She Wants
“you might be the character they drop after the pilot” sasha no dont say that!!!! as the character who was dropped after the pilot (ok season not episode but still) i have determined that is Illegal. and yes i know sasha was killed off for entirely valid reasons and not just dropped but shhhh i am hurting
“i dont have anything keeping me here” oh sasha. oh you sweet summer child. i wish that was the case. i really do
oh hey sasha knew about tim’s brother? martin told tim about his CV? THE S1 ARCHIVE STAFF WERE FRIENDS AND I MISS THEM A LOT BECAUSE GODDAMMIT THE S3/4 STAFF DIDN’T FOUND-FAMILY LIKE THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO
“no such thing as the real you”? “it’s all just masks”??? jonny stop stop im already dead you dont need to kill me again
(god i fucking hate that i get the stanislavsky bit. i only did drama gcse but the exam was terrible because none of the exam board’s practice questions were even anywhere close so no one was prepared and i spent so long revising all these pointless notes on how to answer the difficult questions and i regret it So Much and any reminder of that fucking bullshit exam i had to do Fills Me With Rage
“if you get eaten alive by improperly filed statements, me and martin will avenge you... we’ll burn this place to the ground.” god i am in pain. not only do we have more archives arson foreshadowing but we also have this line that hits like a punch in the gut because they didn’t avenge sasha, did they?
“i find it highly unlikely this sasha ever even existed at all” “i’m unforgettable” shut up shut the fuck up is this allowed? IS THIS ALLOWED???? because it fucking shouldnt be. it’s murder jonny time lads!!!
is. is jon crying. oh no
and then he gets fucking posessed by the cabin?? i love how the format of the statements has changed its very interesting
The One You Love The One You Love The One You Love
jonmartin are so in love that even eldritch fear cabins can’t not see it. jonny really said “you can read their relationship as platonic... but i am going to do my goddamn best to make that hard for you” huh
and fuck, this statement. it’s so creepy and i love how we cant distinguish which entity it is, because does it even matter any more? the list of 14 was a human creation anywhere, i think the ‘different parts of a body’ metaphor l*itner used is makes more sense now. it doesn’t matter which part of the body is attacking you, it matters that you’re being attacked in the first place so figuring out which part it is isn’t really a priority any more
but i think it’s mostly stranger and spiral? i also get very vague corruption vibes from the description of the planks because “they are warmer, softer and more yielding than the timber they present”? ugghhhh. corruption has often been associated with this kind of ‘wrong’ warmth (think jon amherst) and it also brings to mind that episode where the guy nails meat all over his walls and the rot makes the statement giver’s ceiling collapse. but then there’s the lonely there too, because yes jonmartin have each other but jon says it himself: “it will not let you feel the warmth of joy this love may claim to gift”. just try tell me the concept of being unable to find happiness in love isn’t Lonely, even if it’s not entirely true
but yeah basically i love the merging of entities present in this creepy statement
“our tomb” huh. the pov changes here, it’s gone from talking about jon in second person, to talking as jon in first person. so if jon wasn’t possessed by SpOoKy CaBiN like i thought (because if he was, why would he suddenly switch like this? it doesnt make sense)... then what was making that statement? my instinct is to say it was The Archivist or rather, The Archives talking about jon but like a separate personality, which... yikes
“[this will be] my chrysalis. it is time that i emerge.” monster jon? monster jon. this line gave me chills because damnnnn i love me some good eldritch!jon
“i wanted to leave and hunt down elias” hell yeah jon go and brutal pipe murder that bastard its what you deserve
martin has packed bags already and he brought tea and i love him so muchhhhh
and jon’s smile is AUDIBLE he loves martin so much my tiny heart can’t handle it
“we got this.” “apparently so 😍 “ just tell me you can’t hear the heart eyes in jon’s voice. oh wait. you cant
LET MARTIN BURN SOMETHING ITS WHAT HE DESERVES
“we can’t fight the world, martin” “says you” afkjhasfkjhadkjghdakjghakdgf
to summarise:
get ready for me to type out the same summary for all 40 episodes because jesus fucking christ. jonny’s writing never fails to make me Feel All The Emotions at once. i give this one a spooky sentient cabin out of 10
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prompt by- xpotterscloackx:
parralel universe where james is a black and sirius is a potter. everything else is the same
but heres the thing;
james is abused too by walburga and orion. but doesnt share that with the marauders unlike sirius. he keeps it his secret.
he still doesnt completely open up. not until he starts dating lily which heard about the blacks and that was the main reason she avoided james
omg i really love this idea thanks!!! i’ll give it a go!
-
james black was always taught that muggleborns and bloodtraitors were inferior, they were dirt.
that is, until he went to hogwarts, and met sirius potter. the two boys instantly started talking about what sort mischief they wanted to stir up, thus, a beautiful friendship was formed.
james soon realized that everything walburga and orion had taught him was wrong, and started to view the world in an entirely different point of view.
everything seemed to be going well for james black at hogwarts, he had 3 amazing friends (sirius potter, remus lupin, and petter pettigrew), he was a quidditch star player, and he was also known as the girl magnet (80% of the hogwarts female population probably fancied him) , he overall seemed to be living his best life.
but we all have a chapter we don’t like reading outloud, right?
-
the marauders were all packing their trucks since it was the end of their first year at hogwarts, and to frankly put it, he was more than nervous to go back home. it was to the point where james was about to reveal his worries to sirius, that is, before he was interrupted by peter who came breathlessly in to tell the two that someone set mrs noris’ tail on fire.
now, he was siting in a compartement with his friends, pretending not to worry about what his parents might do to him, he was sorted into gryffindor, and he was sure his mother was really angry when she found out. james thought she would send him a howler throwing insults at him and embarrassing him in front of the whole school, but quickly realized how foolish he was;
by embarrassing her son, mrs black was also going to be embarrassing herself and she wasn’t going to let anyone find out the way she was treating her son. a howler would reveal way too much for her liking. instead, she did something that worried james even more; staying quiet.
not once has he heard from either one of his parents. not even a letter, NOTHING!! and that’s what scared james the most (not that he’d admit that outloud). he shuddered at the thought of what she’d do to him once he’d step home.
-
james closed his eyes, and gulped as he slowly stepped in the house. he braced himself as he closed the door behind him.
“JAMES BLACK!” his mother screeched as he heard her footsteps coming towards him.
“GRYFFINDOR?? OUT OF ALL THE HOUSES YOU HAD TO GET INTO GRYFFINDOR? THE HOUSE OF FILTHY BLOODTRAITORS AND MUDBLOODS!!”
james flinched, but without thinking, he just blurted out “well what’s wrong with muggleborns?! one of the muggleborns in my class is the top of our year” he said thinking about lily, then realized he should’ve just kept his mouth shut as his mother raised her wand.
“crucio” she spat.
“NEVER HAVE I THOUGHT THAT THESE WORDS WOULD COME OUT OF THE MOUTH OF MY SON” she spat the word son as if it was some kind of dirt under her shoe, not minding james’ screams begging her to stop.
“s-stop p-please” he whispered, drained and panting.
but no luck, she cast hex after hex some bruising him and some cutting him.
“YOU FILTHY BLOODTRAITOR! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A DISGRACE! YOU ARE LUCKY YOUR FATHER ISN’T HERE! HE WOULD’VE-”
but james didn’t hear the rest of it as his vision started to blur and everything went black.
-
james woke up hours later, his body aching, lips bleeding, eyes bruised, everything bleeding and everything bruised, he could barely stand up.
he had no one, no one to help him, he missed his friends who were more of a family than his actual family.
he slowly got up and staggered his way to his room. and opened a drawer that he kept this potion that his uncle alphard had given him. he slowly put it on his torso, legs arms and back, as he watched the bruises and cuts slowly fade; they weren’t healing, more like hiding, since no potion can really heal magical curses. he wasn’t allowed to put it on his face though, since it weren’t safe if it touches your eyes or mouth. james sighted and hoped the wounds would heal by itself before school starts again.
this was going to be a long two months.
-
as soon as james made it to kingscross, he desperately tried to get away from his family. he was tired and drained, but he still kept a straigned smile so no one would notice.
lily evans was hugging her parents before she spotted james leaving his family, she looked at him with disgust, she knows what his family does; kill people like her, like her parents and she hated that, she was just waiting for the moment james becomes one of them.
-
james was sitting in an empty compartment, waiting for his friends, he felt a little drowsy and slowly, his eyelids dropped until he fell into a disturbed sleep.
-
“oi!!! wake up you dimbo!!” that, was the voice of sirius potter, shaking james awake from a nightmare.
“i’m awake!!” james said rubbing the back of his neck.
“it looked like you were having a nightmare” peter stated.
james’ face reddened with embarassement and shrugged “i wasn’t” he mumbled. he was indeed having a nightmare, about his family torturing him, well it was more like the memories of all that they did to him in the summer than a nightmare, but he wasn’t about to admit to his friends that he was still having nightmares at this age.
“james, what happened to your face” remus pointed out, looking concerned.
“uh-” the cut and bruise on james eye, unfortunately, hadn’t faded. truth to be told, james totally forgot to make up an excuse.
“oh yeah uh i just fell while practicing on my broom, scratched my forehead and bruised my eye” he started, “mother ran out of healing potion so i was left like this.” not a bad excuse, he thought.
“oh! well don’t worry, i’ve got some potion for my cuts, the ones after the full moons, of course it doesn’t heal mine perfectly since mine are magical cuts, but it should work perfectly for you” remus said as he opened his truck and pulled out a jar full of healing potion.
“NO!! i mean no! uh i think it looks quite cool actually, i don’t want to heal it” james panicked, they would realize if it didn’t start healing.
lily, who was passing by and overheard this part, rolled her eyes. of course james black would try to make a cut look cool and start acting like a prick, she thought.
sirius grinned at him, and soon enough, they arrived to hogwarts.
-
it was their fifth year, things were getting out of hand with his family he didn’t want to go back this christmas, all he wanted was one nice and peaceful crhistmas without his mother and father, one nice christmas where he can laugh and spend time with his friends, but he had to go, he had to go since his parents were having a christmas dinner, and he was their only heir, only son, so he has to be present.
“my parents invite you all over for christmas!!” sirius exclaimed happily. “this will be the best christmas ever!!!!” he jumped up and down. “here is the address” he said as he gave each of the boys a small paper written where the potter manor resided.
james too the paper and weakly smiled, he really wishes he can go, spend the christmas with his friends, but of course his parents wouldn’t let him, he snorted at the thought of walburga and orion letting him stay at a “blood traitor’s” house.
-
james black braced himself as he stepped inside the house. he knew this would be worse, he heard his parents talk about this dark lord and how they supported him, he heard about what that dark lord does, and this year, he became more and more powerful, several families have been destroyed because of him, several students have been pulled out of hogwarts to go see their dead families or since their parents thought hogwarts wasn’t safe anymore. the blacks have become known supporters for the dark lord. james was sure they would become more strict than now that there was a known mass murderer.
“you’re here” walburga spat as she came in. “i thought you wouldn’t come” she smirked.
“trust me, i don’t want to be here as much as you do” james said without thinking. dammit, he needs to stop doing that. he thought as walburga raised her wand.
“a quick round of crucio will put you in place” she said as she laughed wickedly.
james has grown a little used to crucio, well the pain was still the same but he learned how to control his screams as to not give his mother the satisfaction she wanted.
“NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM AND GET DRESSED, THE GUESTS WILL ARRIVE SOON AND I WILL NOT BE TOLERATING ANYTHING NOT PRACTICED BY THE MOST NOBLE HOUSE OF BLACK!!” she screeched an ear splinching screech that could probably make your ears bleed if you hear it for too long.
james quickly scrambled up to his room. he’ll try to be on his best behavior, he just wanted to get this over and done with.
-
“ah yes about those mudbloods!!” lucious started. they were sitting at their christmas dinner, which didn’t have any christmas spirit. james sat in the very corner, kept quiet and tried not to draw attention to himself. he was really hoping this night would end soon.
“the dark lord has been ordering us to get rid of those filth” bellatrix continued pationately, eyes wide, looking like a maniac.
everyone at the table nodded in agreement.
james clenched his fists under the table, trying to calm himself.
then, all the guests started talking about the latest attacks as if as it was something normal.
“the dark lord had asked us to kill the mckinnon parents” walburga added in between the conversation, she gestured to her husband and herself, looking quite proud that she got the honor to get rid of them by none other than voldemort himself.
james’ heart stopped.
no, it couldn’t be, his- his parents were the ones that killed marlene’s family- james felt hot and dizzy, he remembered when marlene found out the new about her parents; how she cried for weeks, how she didn’t know who she’ll stay with for the summers. he started shaking and managed to get out the words he desperately didn’t want to believe; “you- you’re murderers!!!” james didn’t know what to do, he didn’t stand the thought of being related to them, he felt dirty, like the blood in his veins is the very same blood as some people who killed innocent families. “you killed- killed marlene’s family?!” he gathered all his strength, the anger radiating out of him. “YOU ARE NOTHING BUT COWARDS, ALL OF YOU- KILLING INNOCENT PEOPLE BECAUSE OF SOMETHING THEY HAVE NO CONTROL OVER?? BLOOD?!! THEIR BLOOD IS THE SAME COLOR AS OURS- THEY ARE AS GOOD AS YOU ALL- NO- NO- THEY ARE BETTER THAN YOU ALL!!! AT LEAST THEY DON’T GO KILLING PEOPLE FOR THE FUN OF IT- I AM-” but he didn’t get to finish his sentence.
“GET OUT!!! NOW” walburga screeched as orion got up and took james by the collar.
they closed the door behind them as both parents threw crucio, after crucio, after some other kind of dark spell.
“YOU ARE NO SON OF MINE!!! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED BY YOU! I WARNED YOU THAT YOU SHOULDVE KEPT YOUR TONGUE IN YOUR MOUTH FOR THE CHRISTMAS!!! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A DISGRACE! CRUCIO!!” his mother or should i say former mother screeched- deafening anyone that was close to her.
walburga and orion were casting hexes and curses by turn as if they were playing some sort of tennis match or something, not bothered at all by james’ screems, begging and begging them to stop.
james couldn’t take it anymore. he just wanted it to stop, the pain. he was bleeding. his voice was hoarse from all the shouting he did. he was about to lose the last bit of consciousness that was left in him. he was fighting internally and externally to stay conscious.
james gathered all his last bit of energy to try to apparate, he had to go anywhere, anywhere was better than here. they were still learning apparition at hogwarts but he thought that getting splinched was the least thing he had to worry about at this point.
he closed his eyes, and thought of the first place he could go to; the potters. and so that’s where he went.
-
he was right in front of the potters door, he barely knocked before everything slowly went black. james fell into unconsciousness.
-
the potters were sitting together, also having a small family dinner before they heard a faint knock outside.
“sirius, honey, can you please get the door” mrs potter asked sirius.
“why me why can’t reg go” sirius whined.
“because because reg didn’t finish his dinner yet” she told him as he groaned and got up.
he opened the door and gasped, you could see the color draining from his face. james black looked dead, there was a big pool of blood next to him and he was full of gashes and bruises.
“m-mum, da-dad!!!” sirius shouted, he was panicked.
mr. and mrs. potter quickly came to see a broken boy at the step of their door.
“j-james- JAMES!!! wake up you bloody idiot!! don’t you dare die before me!!!!” sirius said panicked as regulus told sirius to stop being dramatic and that as much as james really looked like he was dead, was still breathing so wasn’t planning on dying anytime soon.
fleamont potter quickly carried james inside and placed him gently on the couch. euphemia went to get her emergency kit from her cupboard and started to gently heal some of the wounds, sirius frowned as most of them weren’t healing.
“mum, i think your potions have expired” regulus pointed out, “they aren’t healing”.
fleamont and euphemia looked at eachother gravely. they understood.
sirius, regulus, please go up to your rooms while we heal your friend over here.
sirius was about to protest before regulus grabbed him by the arm and dragged him away.
“i-i’m going outside. i’m going to use one of those phellyphones” sirius told his brother regulus.
“why?”
“because i need to call remus peter and lily”
“okay?”
-
“HELLO!!!!” sirius shouted into the phellyphone.
“who is it??” a voice of a young lady, probably the same age as them answered.
“I AM SIRIUS POTTER LILY EVANS’ FRIEND FROM SCHOOL!! WHERE IS LILY EVANS?!”
“ugh lily, one of your friends are calling” it was petunia. she gave liky one last look of disgust before leaving.
“uh hey! who is it?” lily asked.
“IT’S ME SIRIUS”
“you know you don’t have to dream into the telephone? you’re going to make my ears bleed” lily laughed.
“oh uh- hi lily! i need you’re help!! james came to me yesterday, looking almost dead, he had so much cuts and bruises and it looked like the blood inside him was less than the one outside him, and so i called remus and peter to come over to you know cheer him up when he wakes up, and i know you aren’t that close to him but you’ve been getting along better this year and he really his find of you so i thought maybe you’d like to come” sirius said in one long breath.
it was true, lily thought, she was getting along with him better this year. and by the look of it, james’ case is terrible so what’s she gonna lose if she says no?
-
remus peter and lily came to the potters manor the next day.
“sirius!! how is he?” remus asked anxiously as sirius let them in.
“he just woke up right now! come in!!!”
none of them had expected it to be that bad. they all stared in shock as james groaned and looked at them. he was still sitting lying on the couch from yesterday the blood soaking through his clothes and onto the couch.
it was like they were frozen, none of them really registering the scene they saw in-front of them.
finally, after what seemed like years, peter asked what they had all been afraid to ask.
“so uh- what happened really?” sirius shrugged and they all stared at james, who looked uncomfortable. he groaned as he slightly raised his hands to run through his hair; a habit he had developed when he was nervous or anxious.
james looked down embarrassed as he muttered incomprehensibly.
“i- i’m gonna go get dressed, my clothes’ a mess” james quickly said waving at his shirt soaked with blood. he stumbled at his attempt at getting up, and lily, who was closest to him, quickly helped him with his balance as sirius slowly led him to his room.
“here, let me help you take your shirt off, you can borrow one of mine” sirius said as he lifted james shirt. he froze halfway, fuck his whole body was covered with scars, all in different directions and different lengths, and then something hit him, he understood what had happened he suddenly felt really angry, he was going to kill james’ family even if it was the last thing he’d ever do. but right now, he had to help his friend so quickly got him a pair of jeans and sweatshirt.
james and sirius went downstairs again, where the others sat, lily could see james’ eyes were full of pain but kept a straigned smile on his face that made her jaws hurt at the sight of him.
“so a- are you going to tell us what happened?” lily asked, she wasn’t trying to pressure him but was really worried about what had happened.
james looked down, playing with the hem of his sleeves, but didn’t answer straightaway.
they all had almost lost hope that he would tell them anything when he finally let out a whisper;
“i- it was m-my family” they had barely heard him.
lily gently squeezed his hand, motioning for him to continue if he was comfortable.
“they- they used the c-crucio on me and- and other dark curses- because i- i- wasn’t like th-them, the only gryffindor- i was friends w-with muggleborns and “bloodtraitor” and then- then i found out that they- they killed the mckinnons- it was them- i shouted at them and was- was so angry- they kept cursing m-me crucio after c-crucio th-they ha-hate me” his voice cracked and james was now sobbing, he refused to maintain any eye contact, he was ashamed.
lily suddenly felt really horrible, she had hated james since first year because of his parents, and it turns out he was the complete opposite, she felt awful that she misjudged him.
then sirius asked “was- was it them that- that caused all those” he pointedly he lifted his shirt so that he could see his back and torso. james’ face grew red and quickly nodded while pulling his shirt back.
lily noted that there were not only new and opened wounds; there were also old ones that were quite faded by time, so this was something that happened to him quite often, it wasn’t recent. her heart melted as she now saw james as a whole new person, not in a bad way, she now saw how strong and brave he was, she couldn’t even stand the thought of her parents doing that to her, her blood boiled with anger and decided that one day, she will see the end of james’ parents’ life with her own eyes.
“why didn’t you tell us before? we could’ve helped” remus asked, eyes full with pity.
james looked down again and ruffled his hair
“i thought- i thought that this was something normal till third year, but then- it was t-too late for me to bring it u-up- so i just k-kept it to myself”
they all looked at him with pity in their eyes, james decided he never wanted to see them like that again, he couldn’t stand all the pity.
“i- i’ll go get some fresh air” james said after what felt like years, they were all staring at him and he wanted to get away from the spotlight.
-
“are you alright? thought it might get a little lonely out here without anyone” lily came after she let james get some time alone.
james merely nodded.
“look, i’m sorry about the other years- i shouldn’t have said all i said to you- i thought you- i thought you had the same beliefs as- as your parents- but i don’t know you back then! now i know the real you so i just wanted to apologize” lily decided that apologizing would be the best way to get the guilt off her chest.
“it’s okay” james said, finally looking at her and gave her a real, genuine smile, for the first time in forever.
that’s when they realized how close they were, james could feel lily’s breath against his neck.
they both leaned in at the same time and pressed their lips together, james felt sparks shoot through his body as lily groaned in his mouth. the kiss was slow and pationate and left them breathless afterwards.
it had been long since james felt this alive.
#fanfic#marauders era#marauders textpost#james potter#sirius black#remus lupin#lily evans#peter pettigrew#jily textpost#jily headcanon#jily angst#angst#marauders angst
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Summer Rain
Warnings: minor alcohol mention, Deceit is mentioned but he’s not really a bad guy, he just trips over everything a lot. I guess kinda age gap? Roman is 28, Logan is approaching 35.
Ship: Logince
Plot: Logan runs into a young man that loves to interrupt his reading time, against his will he’s managed to make a friend. Slowly as he begins to learn the boundaries of his own soul, he thinks he might see more than friendship along the way.
The turn of pages in a book could be the symbolism for Logan’s current existential dread, but he’s paying more attention to how the pages feel under his fingertips than the reason he’d needed the book in the first place. Approaching thirty-five years old, the professor was not completely unaware of how his family talk about him, he’d been single for most of his life because he’d chosen to be, he didn’t find much interest in searching for love or finding “The One,” like his parents had been nagging him too for years.
Unfortunately, he was thirty-four years old, single, unmarried and his parents wanted him to be. And having put down the phone less than half an hour ago he’d launched his own mind into a spiel of whether he was failing at his own life. In much more simple terms, Logan was panicking that his purpose in life was to find love and he didn’t want to. It’s his firm belief that if it truly is his purpose then it should find him because he has far more important things to do like teaching college students about the field of medicine and also drinking whiskey at 10PM whilst marking test papers. Every time a student writes something that makes him want to ask if they’d actually listened for a second, he takes another shot.
It’s not that Logan is lonely, okay maybe he is just a little bit lonely. He’s all the way out in Florida whilst his family lives in another state and he’s never bothered to make friends but he’s thirty-four and he’s lonely.
The kicker is that Logan isn’t sure if he does want to be not-lonely, he’s almost certain he doesn’t want to fall in love and even more certain that he doesn’t want to make friends. He blames his parents for guilting him into having emotions.
A cup of coffee is placed down in front of him and he uncrosses his legs on the comfortable cafe seat before looking up to thank the man who placed it down. He frequents this cafe so often that he knows everyone by name and face. There’s Virgil, a skinny young man who looked like a teenager going through a quarter-life crisis, despite being twenty-five. There’s Patton, who runs the cafe, who smiles and everyone and gives out free homemade cookies to children. Then Declan, a man who was terrible at lying when Logan asks him “Did you put milk in this?” and trips over his own feet every five minutes.
But this face was new. He had long brown hair pulled back into a bun, dark brown eyes and was possibly the only person of the workers of the cafe that A) Was wearing glitter and B) didn’t look like they had a Vitamin D Deficiency. That’s to say that he had a tan and wasn’t so pale he was translucent (Virgil) or looked like he hadn’t been outside in about four weeks (Patton, Declan).
And he was talking.
“...I hope that’s okay for you, I was told no milk so I thought I should ask if you wanted a milk replacement because we have Soya, Almond and Coconut milk and...” He was talking a lot. Logan was wondering if there’s a socially acceptable, or kinder way, to say shut up before he stops.
“I just like my coffee black,” His tone sounds a lot harsher than intended but the waiter only smiles in return, Logan supposes he’s had ruder patrons in this cafe.
“That’s also fine! I just wanted to make sure,” The ebony haired man finds the name tag that reads ‘Roman’ and decides to make up for his rudeness.
“Thank you...Roman, I appreciate your willingness to make your customers feel comfortable,” He offers a tight smile before looking down at his book, with every intention to continue reading. Roman, however, seems to have other ideas.
“What’re you reading?” It’s rare that anyone willingly talks to Logan, even (especially) people who know him, even Patton, the happy go lucky owner of the sho understood that the man was not one for bounds of conversation. It seemed that Roman had not quite grasped this yet but Logan was sure in due time he would.
“It’s a study of how psychological effects of the mind can cause illness in the body, IE why people who are mentally ill can be more prone to physical illness, the short answer is stress lowers the immune system, but I’m a Doctor so I find everything behind it more fascinating,”
“You’re a Doctor? Woah that’s so cool,” The blue-eyed man blinks, having never quite received that response as the man looks like overly excited by the information. “I’m a student, a little late on the uptake but I study Performing Arts, that’s not quite as important as what you do though,” Logan takes a moment to consider the other’s words before he decides he does actually have something to say about that.
“I think you’re undermining the value of Performing Arts if you think that, whilst yes I train people who will go on to save lives, art as a medium can do more than perhaps you realize, in my line of work I had met many people who have been through times that medication could not save them, but art had,” He takes a breath as Roman waits patiently for him to continue “In fact it’s something mentioned in this book, mental illness, and art is quite often linked, many people who pursue art as a career or hobby find it greatly improves their mental health to have an outlet, plus a world without performance would be rather drab, don’t you think?”
“I...uh...yeah,” Roman replies quietly, looking down at his hands before turning his head towards the counter “I’d love to talk some more but I should probably get back to my work,” He pulls on his bright smile again, “Enjoy your coffee!” Logan watches him walk away and he would be lying to himself if Roman, albeit initially irritating, hadn’t intrigued him a little.
By the end of the day he’d forgotten all about him, however.
“Mind if I join you?” Logan peers over his book to the newcomer, who was dusting flour off his apron “This ones on the house,” A cup of coffee was placed in front of him with a caramel cookie “Consider it a peace offering for interrupting your reading but I’ve got a break and you’re...handsome,” He wonders if he physically recoiled from the statement as he lowers the book because Roman smirks at him. Oh, he’s blushing, that’s why he’s smirking. Logan internally groans but accepts the cookie.
“Be my guest, it doesn't look like I’ve much say in the matter,” It would, after all, be rude after he’s just bought him a coffee and a cookie. Roman isn’t that irritating after all, he looks permanently like a lost puppy but his voice isn’t unpleasant to listen too (By the end of the hour-long break, Logan might have something else to say on the matter).
He absently listens to the other talk which is mostly complaining, but Logan finds himself chuckling as the other man talks, despite his concentration being predominantly on his book. He doesn’t reply, but Roman can tell he’s listening with the small half-smiles and nods of his head, and honestly, that was enough for him.
It becomes a habit, Logan’s reading time interrupted with Roman collapsing in the chair opposite with a cup of coffee and a cookie. Somewhere along the line, Patton had simply put a cookie aside for Roman to gift the other man, with a shake of his head and a wide smile (”Roman you’re not wasting two dollars a day for a cookie I’m happy to give you for free,”).
Somewhere along the line, Logan actually stopped being mildly irritated by the other’s presence. He wondered absently if this is what friendship felt like.
“It’s raining, in August!” Roman doesn’t even ask anymore as he places down the coffee and the cookie and flops into the chair opposite him “It’s Summer Logan! It shouldn’t be raining, what’s worse is that it’s still unbelievably humid,” Logan snorts and lowers the book.
“Nice to see you too Roman,” He reaches over for his coffee and takes a sip before he looks out the window. It was indeed raining, it pattered against the window gently like a wave ‘hello’ from a stranger. Logan’s attention turns to the rain as he watches it slide down the windows and turn into silver by the sunlight that hits the streets. “It’s hardly unsurprising, currently climates all around the world are displaying unusual and worrying habits, however, a little bit of rain on a Friday evening will not do you any harm,”
“It’ll do my flawless hair some harm,” The other mutters before pulling the bobble out of his hair and letting it unravel from where it had been held captive. He runs a hand through it before pushing it to one side. “My hair gets so frizzy in wet weather it’s not even remotely funny,” He sighs dramatically, letting out a ‘humph’ as he rests his elbow on the arm of the chair.
“Your reaction is certainly amusing,” Despite himself, Roman smiles. The elder takes a moment to look at the man, sporting a white shirt rolled up and tucked into black skinny jeans, a pastel pink apron tied around his waist. Logan catches himself smiling just a little as the other falls into quiet and watches the summer rain, hair falling over his shoulders and sunlight highlighting his tanned skin.
It’s scary how Logan actually acknowledges this man is attractive. He’s scared, he doesn’t like that situation, he doesn’t particularly like that unbeknownst to himself he’d started to enjoy Roman’s company and genuinely look forward to him plopping down on the chair opposite him and ranting about how clumsy Declan is. He doesn’t like it because it’s new and scary but he’s also not the sort of person who's ever let fear stop him from doing completely irrational things. “Roman?” The other looks up and meets cerulean eyes with a tired smile “What time does your shift finish?”
Logan’s idea of a date is not something Roman has ever recieved. For one he didn’t think he’d ever enjoy sitting in a museum until Logan starts talking. And then he doesn’t stop talking. In fact, Roman is 100% sure he’d never heard the blue-eyed man talk so much and so fast and so...alive. It’s like he held in the keys to the Universe and now he was spilling them out. Roman understood that this was important to him.
So he listened to him talk about the things there, about the history and interesting, Logan talked about the impact of these machines and how they worked, with the art industry. It dawned on Roman that Logan had brought him here to learn more about his own craft and it’s history, as well as showcasing just how much Logan loved how things worked.
They were both treading on new territories here. Logan, having never really experienced a need to move into a more romantic area of his life was for one, finding this all very disorientating but exciting. Roman, who’d never met a man actually willing to try and ‘woo’ him so to speak, was completely enthralled and hanging off every word that left the elder man’s mouth.
Logan gave him flowers.
Roman hugged him.
Then they parted ways at the end of the night, knowing that Roman would be interrupting Logan’s Friday morning reading before he goes off to work. (Logan had noticed that Roman’s breaks were not consistent anymore, they weren’t at the same time, he was literally taking these breaks at those times so that he could interrupt his reading. He can’t tell if he’s endeared or whether he should be reprimanding the other for not being more sensible)
Logan is invited, along with Patton, Virgil and Declan to attend Roman’s performance at the end of year showcase for the University he attends. He spends an hour trying to understand what he’s supposed to where and even goes as far as Googling “What do you wear to attend performances?” In the end, he settles on a dark blue shirt and black slacks, hoping for the best. He meets the other three in the most awkward and longest amount of time they’ve spent together. Virgil is wearing the hoodie he constantly refuses to take off, but has exchanged his usual black t-shirt for a black dress shirt, with his eyeliner a little bit neater than usual.
Declan was wearing green, in a variety of shades and Logan is no Art Historian, but he was sure the industry didn't go through centuries of adaptation for Declan to wear that. He decides to bites his tongue on the matter however as the boy is already pre-occupied trying to balance two large drink cartons and the biggest bucket of popcorn any of them had ever seen.
Patton was the only one that seemed to have tried to dress up for the occasion, wearing a blue dress that fanned out around his knees and his curly brown hair pinned back from his face. Logan wondered how he managed to get the confidence to wear it, and honestly, he’s a little bit jealous even if in day to day life it wasn’t really a practical garment that he would wear. “Hey, Logan!” Patton exclaims “Are you excited? I’m excited!”
“Thrilled,” Virgil mutters under his breath “I’m mostly here for the food, not gonna lie,” Logan bites back a smirk, well aware from the constant bickering he hears between the two that Roman and Virgil do not often get along. Patton pouts and Virgil sighs “Fine! I’m a little excited to see tall dark and annoying perform,”
Declan is eating popcorn straight from the bucket and simply looking between the three of them “D! Are you eating the popcorn,?” The bubbly young man finally frowns and the atrociously dressed young man blinks like a deer caught in the headlights, mouth full of popcorn.
“...No?”
The three of them bicker a little and Logan simply sips his drink and watches with an amused smirk. Despite being colleagues they appeared more like a slightly mismatched family or strays that Patton had picked up off the street.
“Come on guys, we’re gonna miss it!” Virgil finally says exasperatedly. “And now I have a migraine, I’ve not even seen him perform yet,” (It turns out, Virgil had actually bought aspirin along, and somehow this act of pre-meditated annoyance, amused Logan more than anything else thus far in the evening).
Logan’s glad he didn’t miss it.
Roman as a person was enigmatic, full of life, he followed his heart and his dreams and these were all things Logan didn’t particularly understand but he admired anyway. Roman on stage? Performing? It wasn’t often that the elder man came across situations where he was emotionally charged, but he almost forgot how to breathe the moment Roman opened his mouth and sang.
Patton had noticed the other’s expression, lips parted in shock and eyebrows furrowed, but it wasn’t until Roman had reached a song so full of sadness and Logan’s eyes welled up with tears that he reached over to place a comforting hand on the other’s arm. “He’s really good isn’t he?” The elder nods and wipes his eyes, wondering why he’d never heard Roman sing before. He wishes he could listen to him sing all day every day.
(One day he might get that wish)
After the performance, Roman greets them and Patton hugs him, tells him he was wonderful but he really has to go now because his husband has just got home. Virgil tells Roman he “Did alright, I guess,” but smiles before he’s dragging Declan out (Who still hasn’t finished his popcorn). Which left the two of them.
“Have you been crying?” Roman asks, a worried look on his face as his hands come up to Logan’s face and slides his glasses up slowly. It’s a strange form of intimacy that the ebony haired man is unsure he’s ever experienced before. He nods anyway and his hand comes up to Roman’s as it’s falling.
“Don’t ever give up Roman, you’re so unbelievably talented,” And the younger has heard those words so many times from so many different people with when Logan says it, it sounds real. Maybe it’s the way his eyes are so full of emotion, or the way he’s holding his hand but his words make Roman feel stronger than ever.
“I won’t,”
They leave together, stood outside. “It’s raining again,” Roman sighs, pulling his hair up into a bun, Logan watches and feels for the first time perhaps why people had so deeply wished for him to open his heart up a little. Oh god, I’m falling in love. Roman smiles as the rain patters against his skin, washing glitter against his cheek, under the streetlights he sparkles more than a thousand spotlights. “My flat’s just around the corner? I don’t know how far you have to go...” Logan’s panicking, for the first time in his life he’s truly scared and it shouldn’t be so scary but he doesn’t know what to do. He isn’t sure if he’s supposed to read between the lines or if there’s more Roman’s asking of him, he wished he’d paid more attention to how people react in social situations. “Hey you don’t have to...come, you look like I’ve just murdered your mother,” Roman’s hand is in his and there’s a smile so warm on his lips.
His brain quiets a little.
“I’m not well-advised in these situations Roman, I’ve never...done this before, I've never even really had a friend before,” He pauses “I’ve never courted another man, never been in a relationship and I’m confused, because I’m unsure if you’re asking me to come back to your flat because I live on the other side of town and it’s late, or if there’s something more you’re asking of me,”
Roman goes very red when the message finally drops “Oh! No! I mean, not that I wouldn’t like too!” He lets out a squeak as he tries to organize his words “One day, it’s just right now I’d prefer to just...not, I was offering for a place for you to sleep, nothing more or less,” A sigh of relief escapes Logan and he nods.
“Then yes, I would like to go home with you,” Roman smiles, their hands stay interlocked. Logan stays the night in an apartment filled with certificates and medals and strange costumes that are all in a mysterious wooden box. It feels cozy, but he sleeps on the couch. There are some things he needs more time before exploring.
Logan and Roman are apparently built out of patience for each other. Most men, six months into flirting with another guy would probably have given up on a prospective relationship by now. Luckily, Roman understood that Logan needed his time and headspace to explore his feelings. Logan’s patience came from the fact sometimes Roman would not stop talking and at this point, he’s just learned to accept that this is the way he is, and honestly, he’d only be annoyed if it were anyone else.
Patton, who is becoming their number one stan, is perpetually gossiping about the two and saying “He can’t wait for the day for his children to fall in love,” Virgil points out that that’s probably something you shouldn’t say in public around people who aren’t going to understand, and also Logan is five years older than him. Patton gives Virgil a cookie and tells him he’s smart.
Logan comes back after work to see Roman, as the cafe is closing up he leans against the window with his book open and begins to read absently whilst waiting for the other to finish cleaning up. He feels a tap on his hand and looks up to see the long-haired man beaming at him as he allows himself to be pulled into a hug. Folding the corner of the page and sliding the book into his bag the two began to walk. And Roman talks. Logan listens.
The two come to a stop outside the cinema after about fifteen minutes of meandering the city streets “So what film do you want to see?” And Roman is right in front of him, blinking up with wide brown eyes with a stray piece of hair falling loosely from its clip. Not for the first time, Logan’s brain short circuits but his hand moves of its own accord as it tucks the stray piece of hair behind Roman’s ears. The younger smiles the warm and soft smile that’s generally reserved for the other man.
“I’m not sure,” he finally responds “Whatever you’d like, Roman,” They end up watching a rom-com and Logan hadn’t expected less from his friend at all. WHen they leave the cinema though, Logan thinks back to all of the similar movies he’s watched and never understood, then he looks at Roman and thinks that he finally does. The evening is well on its way as stars litter the sky and the summer rain makes it’s uses in the night time warmth. Logan meets Roman’s eyes. I am so in love.
He kisses him. Gently, holding his hands and feelings his fingertips intertwined with his own. He kisses him like he has no idea what he’s doing but at the same time, like he’s just discovered a secret he’d hidden from himself. Roman kisses him back with a smile on his lips and his skin soft under the other man’s hands. It’s a gentle kiss, it’s quick but it does say what Logan’s extensive vocabularly could not have done.
“I love you,”
“I love you too, Logan,”
((This fic took me an entire day to write I shit you not))
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One Reason
Summay: You have met a troubled boy who is clearly no good for you but you couldn't help but fall for him.
Pairing: Kim Hanbin (B.I)/ Reader
Genre: angst/fluff
Words: 4.1k
A/N: Warning: This story is loosely inspired on 13 reasons why, I don't mean the subject of suicide but more based on one of the male characters. This story takes place in a very realistic immature high school, like the show so there is very mature topics that some readers may find offensive. Topics may include bullying, drug use, sexual content, fowl language, violence, etc.
Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
m.masterlist ╫ ikon masterlist
You felt the irritating sound ringing in your ear, making your ears more sensitive, but you continued dancing on the center of the dance floor with a cute boy you couldn't even remember his name.
It was the last party of the summer before school, which you honestly didn't know why you were at. You were new.
You moved here at the beginning of the summer. Being a new student when it was your last year was tough. You didn't see the point but your parents needed the change. You didn't want it. You wanted your old friends. You considered yourself fairly popular at your last school. Not by choice for the matter, it was just the people you got along with.
Anyway here you were at some foreign party with foreign people. Suhyun was one of your neighbors and you got close immensely, for the two months you've been here.
She's a senior as well but the bad thing was, this is her going away party. She was moving in a few days. Right before the school year starts. At first you felt releaved that you would know at least one person going into this ratchet school but of course, nothing could go your way.
She told you earlier, when you were sober, that she would introduce you to all her friends and help you feel more comfortable but you knew by Monday, they would all forget you anyway.
You felt like you were a decent person but you always had a slow start with people. You would avoid anyone and everyone, unless they showed in interest in you. Other wise, what's the point.
But there was the boy. The boy you were dancing with who showed interest but you had an uneasy feeling about him. One you couldn't read, but there was something about him that pulled you to him.
It all started when Suhyun introduced you to him. Only 2 hours ago.
"So this school is full of assholes but you will adapt." She said giving you your first drink of the night.
"Hey Miyeon, get a room!" Suhyun shouted across the room. "That is Miyeon and Ju-ne. I set them up last year and now look at them." She gloated
The doorbell rung, signaling more people to enter the already crowded party. As soon as the people passed through, something caught her attention outside.
"Hey assholes, are you coming in or what?"
You followed her outside to see the commotion. She was talking to a few guys goofing off.
"Is she speaking to us?" One boy said sarcastically.
"She's speaking to us not you." The other boy spoke causing Suhyun to roll her eyes.
"I'm talking to all of you, even you Hanbin."
"She must be drunk." The boy next to him spoke.
"I had 4 months to get over it." She shrugged. "Now get your ass's in here."
"Oh by the way, that is Bobby, Dk, Yunhyeong, and Hanbin.....my ex."
Oh now the random conversation suddenly made sense.
You looked back and noticed the boy smile at you sweetly.
And that's where it all began. Fast forward to you working up a sweat on the dance floor next to the boy. The boy that you learned was named Hanbin. The ex of your new friend and off limits. She didn't have to tell you but you were loyal when it came to girl code.
Here you were breaking it anyway, but in your defence you weren't in your right mind. The alcohol had taken over and you hoped things wouldn't take off.
-
"You will be fine." It was the day before school started and the official last day of Suhyun. Her parents were putting the last of their things in the moving truck. "I told Miyeon to help you find your classes."
You nodded. "And I have something to help you get by." She looked around for her parents and snuck something out of her pocket. She placed it in your hand and once you saw it you cheeks lit up immediately.
"A condom?" You questioned. "Why?"
"To not get pregnant stupid."
"I understand that thanks." You said sarcastically. "But I have self control."
"I don't know, it didn't seem that way a few nights ago." She smirked. You honestly didn't even remember. The last thing was you puking your brains out.
"What do you mean? What happened."
"You were in a three way make out session."
"No."
She nodded while biting her lip. "Don't worry I took you away before something else happened. You were all drunk so I wouldn't be surprised if any of you remember."
Who was it? Was it the boy?
"So you're giving me one condom?"
"Jeez girl."
"I didn't mean it like that." You laughed.
"Just be careful, these boys......can be a little wild."
You nodded and finally gave her a good bye hug.
-
You hesitate to step out of your father's car. "Can I just be homeschooled?"
"I know it's scary starting a new school, but at least it's the first day, you don't have to worry about catching up in any classes."
"That wouldn't matter anyway, j get good grades." You smiled.
"I know." He caressed your cheek. "Now go before you're late."
"Okay." You finally got out. You walked up to the office to get your schedule. You saw no sign of Miyeon. Typical.
As you were walking to the class you bumbed into someone dropping your books. Cliche but it actually happened. You looked seeing the boy. The boy from the party. The boy that smiled at you. And the boy that was dancing with you.
"(Y/L/N) (Y/N)" He said picking up your books.
"Kim Hanbin."
"You remember my name." He smiled.
"How could I forget, I had a lovely chat with your ex." You teased. You were really dying on the inside but you didn't want to show him fear. Suhyun told you he's a popular kid and he's trouble so the last thing you wanted was to be on his radar for bullying.
Hanbin rolled his eyes playfully. "I wondered what she had to say."
"She told me to stay away from you."
"Whys that?" He arched his eyebrows.
"She said you smell." A small smile started to form.
"I smell huh?" He smiled. "I hope that doesnt bother you."
What? You knew she was kidding but anyways, why should you care? You were new and he was popular. Why were you on his radar so quickly?
"Why would it bother me?" You said as your voice dimmed.
"I would like to ask you out, but if you turn me down because I stink, I might be heart broken." He held his heart in pain.
You blushed instantly.
Why was he making you feel mushy inside? You barely knew him. You honestly wanted to accept his offer but....girl code.
"Can I think about it?" You scrunched up your face in innocence. You didn't want to make him feel bad. You didn't want to say no but you couldn't say yes either.
"Oh no, my horrible odor has let me down once again." He said dramatically causing you to laugh. "I promise I will smell better tomorrow and I hope that changes your mind."
"Maybe." You smiled.
"There you are (Y/N)." You heard Miyeon call your name. Maybe she was helping you after all.
"I'll see you later." Hanbin walked off, smiling one last time.
"Why was he talking to you?" She asked.
"He wanted to help me find my classes." You lied.
She huffed. "That doesn't sound like him."
"Stay away from him, he's trouble." She continued.
"Okay." It was your first day and you already could sense the drama. You were never one to get dragged in, just watched from the side lines. You wanted to enjoy your last high school year, not be sucked into whatever mystery lies within these walls.
Was this boy worth it?
-
Later on when you got home, Suhyun called you in a facechat call. You already missed her.
"Soooo, how was your first day?" She asked.
You started to blush thinking about Hanbin. You knew it was wrong but you already felt your crush forming.
"I know that look who is he?"
"There is no he." You shrugged.
"Just spit it out."
You felt guilty. "Okay so I kind of got asked out by this boy...."
"On your first day? Which boy?" She was leaning forward more interested.
You bit your lip with a painful expression.
"Oh." Was all she said.
You didn't even have to tell her. "Hanbin wasn't it?"
"Don't even worry, I said no." You lied.
"Why did you do that?" She shrugged.
What? You were beyond confused and your expression gave it away. "Because he's your ex."
"So? We broke up."
"Um...girl code."
"If you want to go out with him, I'm giving you permission." She said like it was nothing.
You just stared off into space confused. "(Y/N) our feelings for each other are long gone......go have fun with him. I don't care."
"Really?"
"Sure." She laughed.
Then you both hung up the call. You had a big smile on your face just thinking of the boy. But that smile quickly faded just thinking about everything. Why did they even break up?
Stay away from him he's trouble.
Stay away from him he's trouble.
That's all you ever heard since that party when you first laid eyes on him.
Was there something you weren't seeing?
-
You had your guard up during school the whole next day which was making you flinch at every little thing. You thought about it all night. Maybe you should stay away from him. The signs were clearly there but you just wanted to know all the mystery behind it. Was he that bad?
"(Y/N)." You jumped as you heard a sudden voice. "Hi." He gave you that award winning smile.
"Hi." You tugged your hair behind your ear.
"I smell clean, I promise." Why was he being so sweet to your face if he was so called trouble?
You couldn't help but blush and shake your head. "That was a joke you know."
"What?" He said in a sarcastic shock. "You mean I could of taken you out last night?"
Stop blushing!
"Look, if you don't want to go out I understand." He laughed. "But I want to get to know you anyways."
"Its not that." You simply said. "I wanted to talk to Suhyun first."
"Oh, I get it....researching."
"No." You pushed him. "Girls don't date their friends ex's, it's code." You shrugged.
"Okay." He leaned closer. "So does that mean...."
Your heart was beating a mile a minute. Should you say yes? One date, it couldn't hurt. You can see what he was all about and why people were so pessimistic about him.
"Okay." Your voice was barely audible.
"Was that a yes?" He held his heart again in relief. "She said yes."
"Stop being so loud." You giggled covering your face.
"I'll pick you up around 8." He smiled.
You started to walk away to your class with your face as red as ever.
"You won't regret this (Y/N) (Y/L/N). I promise." He called after you.
Okay people were staring. You even saw a few girls give you a disgusted look. The bad thing was, if he was so popular, there's a chance he could pull you into that crowd and it could turn out good or bad. You just hope you were cautions of what you were getting into.
-
You felt like you can picture his whole life in a simple second. Perfect athlete with a scholarship waiting at the end of his graduation. A perfect family proud of his every achievement. Always had the perfect grades and girlfriend to bring home. Money.
But you couldn't be ever so wrong.
After school Hanbin said goodbye to Bobby as he reached his apartment. "Do you want me to go in there with you?"
He looked out the window. "No, I'll be okay."
"Do you need money? I can help you get a car."
"My mom wouldn't even let me save enough money to get one. She'll find an excuse for something more important to spend it on."
"A car is important." Bobby sighed. "You can just live with me until school is over man."
"Thank you but I can't leave my mom with that asshole." Hanbin finally got out and walked up to his apartment.
He opened his door and saw Jaesun sitting on the couch with an empty beer in his hand. His mom was no where in site.
"Where's my mom?"
"She's out buying my stuff." He said.
Hanbin glared at him before walking past. "Hey B.I hand me a beer."
"You aren't allowed to call me that." He said with attitude.
"What do you want me to call You? Pabo? Just get the beer."
He didn't he walked past to his room and locked the door. He could hear him approach the door with a bang and jiggled the handle seeing it was locked. Jaesun laughed humorsly, then his tone went dark. "You better learn to respect me boy."
"Fuck you." Hanbin grunted to himself.
He didn't even come out once he heard him mom come home. "Hanbin please come out."
He was sensitive when it came to his mom. He opened the door and saw his mom and gave her a hug. "What is this I hear you ignoring Jaesun?"
He pulled away. "Sorry I chose not to be his slave." He said loudly getting Jaesun's attention.
"What the fuck did you say to me?" He got up. "You can't respect me you can get out of my home."
"This isn't your home, me and my mom lived here first, you evaded."
Jaesun walked over angrily.
"Okay stop." Ms. Kim stood in between them. "You need to chill out and you need to chill out."
"Why do you always take his side." Hanbin said disappointed with his face flustered.
His mother looked up at him. "I'm not taking sides." Then she stepped away and made her way to the kitchen.
Jaesun pushed Hanbin into the wall roughly. "You speak that way to me again, your mother isn't going to stop me from teaching you a lesson."
He kept his mouth shut, but gave him a dark glare. Jaesun just laughed it off and went back to his couch. Hanbin grabbed his shoes and his jacket and made his way to the door. "Where are you going I'm making dinner?" His mom stopped him.
"Out." He said harsh.
"You don have to feed that brat hun. More for us."
Hanbin just ignored the low life and continued on his way.
He was on his way to pick you up. He knew where you lived since you were Suhyun's neighbor. The town wasn't that big so walking wasn't a big deal. He looked at your house for a bit, seeing how nice and cozy it was. Something he always wanted.
He walked up to the door and knocked gently. A nice women opened up the door with a confused but genuine smile. "Hello."
"Hi is (Y/N)-"
"I'm coming." You ran down the stairs and out the door.
"(Y/N)?" Your mother stopped you.
"I'm sorry, mom this is Hanbin and Hanbin this is my mom....okay let's go." You grabbed his hand and tried to make a run for it.
"You are going on a date and you didn't tell me? I feel like I should go over some ground rules."
You rolled your eyes in annoyance. "Mom please no."
Hanbin smiled. This was the warm and closness to a family he only dreamed about.
"I want you back by 10, no drinking, no drugs, no sex."
"Oh my God, please stop, I know common sense."
"Okay." She gave a warning look to Hanbin but smiled at the end.
"Thank you Mrs. (Y/L/N)."
"Where's your car?" You asked.
"I don't have a car?" He said with a smile.
"You smell that nice but you don't have a car."
Hanbin rolled his eyes playfully.
You were surprised really. You were sure he had money. He was popular, charming, super attractive. You were sure he had his life made.
"I'm working on getting one." He said hopeful.
"No problem. I like walking."
He smiled at your surprise response. All he wanted was to impress you and he was sure not having a car would be a disappointment. But you were more different then he thought.
You both stopped at a cafe at the end of the block. "What would you like?"
"A hot chocolate and..."
"How about that giant chocolate cookie we can share." Hanbin suggested.
"Okay." You smiled.
"Hey B.I." A guy greeted as soon as you approached the counter. You recognized him from the party a few nights ago. Yunhyeong.
"Hey....can we get...." He ordered.
"You want to find us a spot?" Hanbin asked and you nodded looking around.
Hanbin looked through his wallet and Yunhyeong stopped him. "Its okay man."
"Thank you."
"She took it again?" He asked.
Hanbin nooded. "She needed to buy food."
"Doesn't Jaesun keep a jar of money in his closet?" He asked.
"Its money for his stash....He would literally kill me if I took it." Hanbin shook his head aggravated.
"Tell your mom to kick him out."
"I've tried, she said we wouldn't make it without him, he pays for the bills and shit."
"Then why is she taking your money?" Yunhyeong was aggravated with his friends living situation.
"She's afraid to ask him."
"Hey I found the perfect spot." You clinged onto his shoulder.
Hanbin just smiled sweetly.
"Here you go." Yunhyeong gave you the food.
"Thank you....really."
"No problem, Hanbin remember what I said. Okay."
He nodded and went back with you.
"Your friend seems sweet." You said as you sat down.
"Oh no, did I lose you to him?" His playful attitude was back.
"Shut up." You giggled. "You didn't have to pay for me you know."
Hanbin looked down, but acted like nothing was wrong. "What kind of guy would let his date pay?"
"This isn't the 50's anymore, we can pay sometimes to." You leaned against your hand.
"Fine, you can pay for the next date." He smirked.
"Who says I'm going on another date with you." You teased.
"Ow." He held his heart in pain again.
"I'll let you know at the end." You blushed.
"How's it going so far?"
"Pretty good, but it's anyone's game." You bit your lip.
He was still holding his heart as he felt it beating faster. "You really are something else (Y/N)....You make my heart hurt."
"Stop, you're so corny."
"No really feel." He moved over to your side of the booth.
"Get out." You tried to push him.
"Feel." He grabbed your hand and he led it to his heart. He smiled seeing you blush. You felt his heart beating and you felt chills as he was so close to you. You looked up seeing his beautiful smile.
He leaned in slowly. You couldn't move as you felt his breath on yours. You knew he was going to kiss you any second and you felt like a nervous wreck. You have never had your first kiss yet and you knew you were going to be terrible. You slowly backed out and saw the confused look on his face.
"Its a little too early, don't you think?"
"You're right." He laughed. "This is what you do to me (Y/N) (Y/L/N)." He grabbed your hand and grabbed the bag with the cookie.
"Where are we going?"
"Somewhere more private." He said.
You felt more butterflies explode. "Um."
"Not in that way, I heard your mother."
He took you to the local park. "Let me push you." He said as you sat on the swing.
He pushed you gently a few times and after a few minutes he stopped you looking over you as you looked up. The tension was tight once again and you could tell he was really eager to kiss you.
"Lets go up there." You smiled as you got up quickly but something tugged on your shirt. The swing chain was caught and your shirt already started ripping.
"Oh no, you're trapped." He tried to get your shirt out. "Here I think I see-"
He tugged and quickly stopped as your shirt was tearing in half. He looked at you in shock. "I'm so sorry."
You felt a little upset but it was just a shirt. "Here." He took off his jacket and handed it over to you. You took off your shirt and threw it, leaving you in your bra.
"Look, I'm taking my clothes off for you in our first date." You teased.
It was his turn to blush.
You pulled on his jacket and continued to have your fun. You climbed to the top of the slide and watched him climb up after you. You tried to cross over to net bridge but he caught you quickly, sending you both to the floor. The net was shaky, especially with the both of you but you felt comfortable.
This time he was too quick to place his lips on yours. You stiffen up but you found yourself moving against him naturally. He took control which was all the better. Your lips were tingling. You never imagined your first kiss being like this. His hand followed up his jacket, placing them up and down your hip.
The kiss was getting more intense as the time passed. He pulled away but moved down to your neck. The butterflies in your stomach was unreal. You have never experienced anything like this before and you almost felt like you were going to fall apart. He stopped suddenly and leaned up to look at you.
"I'm sorry."
"For What?"
"Moving so quickly....I didn't even ask you how you felt."
"I'm fine Hanbin." You reassured.
He looked at his phone real quick. "Its 9:30 we better get moving." But before he put his phone away, he kissed your cheek taking a cute photo.
He helped you up and you were quick to go on your way. You shared your giant cookie on the whole way back to your house. He found out more about you and he was sweet as ever. He cared to know about your likes and dislikes that by the time you reach your house, you felt disappointed you didn't get to ask about him.
"Next time." He smiled. "Thank you for letting me take you out (Y/N)."
He leaned in closer. "Thank you for not smelling."
He laughed. "Is that going to be our thing now?"
You nodded. He leaned in more bringing his lips towards yours once again. It was hard to describe, but he really did take your breath away.
-
The next day you felt your whole way light up as you stepped in school wearing his jacket. You wanted to return it, so you made sure to have it on you.
He saw you and came up right behind you quickly. "Hey." He kissed your passionately.
"Here." You were about to take off the jacket but he stopped you. "You keep it." He smiled.
"Yo B.I." His friends were on the other end of the hall, making googly eyes at the both of you.
"I'll let you get to class, you might not want to meet these assholes." He laughed.
"Okay." You had to get to your locker anyway.
As you did you saw his friends grabbing his phone away and Hanbin tried to get it back. "Yo send this to me."
"No come on." He wanted but was being playful. You didn't know what was going on but ignored it anyway and went back to class.
As you say there waiting for class to begin you heard people getting text messages near by and start to stare at you. What was going on?
"(Y/N)?" Miyeon asked you and you grabbed her phone and saw that picture of you and Hanbin tangled in the net with your bra clearly showing out of his jacket.
This was your worst nightmare and it was all because of him.
-----------
A/N: If you watch 13 reasons why, you can tell where I got my inspiration from for this story so all the credit goes to them. But Hanbins character is inspired by Justin of course. I always thought he was such an interesting character and is really misunderstood from seeing his background and It’s really heart breaking :(
I want this story to be a long standing series so....lets see how you all like it :)
#ikon scenarios#ikon smut#ikon imagines#ikon fanfic#ikon one shot#ikon masterlist#ikon fluff#hanbin scenarios#hanbin fanfic#hanbin imagine#hanbin smut#hanbin oneshot#hanbin angst#ikon angst
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high school!mark
request: highschool!mark if u love me plspls
word count: 5.5k
a/n: lucky that I love u anon hehehehe !!!!! also wOW I didnt mean to make this so god damn long itS REALLY JUST THESE GOD DAMN HIGH SCHOOL AUS IM WEAK FOR THEM OKAY. look at this cutie hOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO RESIST
mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle, jisung
warnings: the usual intermittent cussing and probably an inappropriate joke or two
this au is my Ultimate Weakness it makes me soft as hell alright
………………….
LETS DIVE IN
okay so your mom has a job that forces your family to move around….. A LOT
and while you’ve gotten used to it for the most part it still sucks having to leave people behind and make completely new friends once every couple of years
this time you’re moving to a new school for your SENIOR YEAR and you’re livid
bc like ??? it’s senior year and you have exactly zero (0) friends since you’re new,,, yet again
you Threw A Fit when you found out but your mom was like shut up you ingrate soon you’ll be in college and won’t even have to worry about it
so you, an ingrate, shut up :/
you move in a month before school starts and the house is nice and your room is cute so that’s a plus !!!!!
you hang up some pictures and organize all your cute little trinkets you’ve collected over the years aw
you’ve even got a lil succulent garden growing on your windowsill
ITS CUTE AS HELL OKAY
alright so you’re gonna go explore around town because you , don’t know where anything is and you wanna find some good spots to hang
you take the bus into the middle of town because who tf is tryna drive themselves amirite ladies
support ur local bus driver
anywhom this isn’t a HUGE town but it’s one of those cute towns where you can pretty much walk anywhere you need to go
(god i wish that were me)
so you spend all day just, walkin
you find a library and pick up some books …….
both for decoration and reading okay
and you find a couple of restaurants and write them down to try later along with some coffee shops and whatnot
eventually you’re tired and prolly a lil sweaty bc it’s summer and you’re outside and ugh
so you find a nice big park and a tree and sit down at the base of it to read and mindlessly sketch things in the margins of your book
whEN OUT OF NOWHERE
someone shouts
“HEY WATCH OUT”
and you look up just in time to dodge a sOCCER BALL HURTLING TOWARDS YOUR FACE
it bounces off the tree and rolls a couple feet away
“uhhhh holy shit” - you
you just kind of sit there astonished for 5 seconds before you get up to get the ball and look around for who saved your LIFE
and there’s boy jogging toward you looking extremely embarrassed
you meet him halfway to hand him the ball and he’s like
“oh mY GOD i’m so sorry i told them to settle down but they never listen to me and jisung just ??? doesn’t know how to not take everything seriously and he lost and got pissed and kicked it and we didn’t even kNOW you were over here and also i’m so sorry”
you smile and tell him it’s fine and hand him the ball
you go to get back to your tree and he’s like hey uh you there uh wait up
god he’s awkward
and you turn around to face him with an expectant look
“so um, what’s your name? i haven’t seen you around here before and like in case i ever gotta make this up to you you know ??”
cute
you tell him your name and stick out your hand to shake and he grabs it very hesitantly and tells you his name is mark
he has , very warm hands and they’re only slightly bigger than yours but that’s still cUTE
MARK HAS BABY HANDS I DARE U TO SAY HE DOESNT
he says he hopes you enjoy your book and he’ll make sure the boys don’t disturb you anymore than they already have
you wave as he goes and he gives you a smile over his shoulder and his cheeks are tinged pink and wOw this boy is a cutie patootie
you go back to your reading but now instead of doodling you’re just writing his name or drawing his big doe eyes or his smooth hands
(((((let’s pretend we’re all good at drawing okay god knows i can’t do much more than a stick figure)))))
the boys leave after an hour or two and you leave pretty soon after then because the sun is setting and you gotta be home for dinner
basically your mom wants to make sure you aren’t kidnapped and/or lost in a new town
which, to be fair, is not that unlikely
you have your headphones in and you’re leaned against the bus window half asleep as you go
bitch wake up youRE GONNA MISS YOUR STOP
it’s the same bus driver who saw you get on and honestly there aren’t a lot of people on the bus so he makes sure you get off
“hey you, girl back there, hEY! this is your stop girly”
you thank him profusely and tip him because uhhhh u gotta get home and like Not Lost
you skip home with your bag of books and miscellaneous items you found at the thrift store!!!
you bought a little figurine of a dragon and she’s beautiful her name is saraphina because why not
that’s completely irrelevant i’m so sorry
i have ADHD
anywhom
you walk in and you’re all like hey momma !!! how goes it !!:3
and your mom is Sus™️ because why are you in such a good mood
and you’re like !!! cause i had a good day okay love u bye i’m going to my rOOM
don’t let her question anymore or else she’ll dig out that you met a Cute Boy
you go to your room and get out all your purchases and organize them while you still have the motivation to do so
and yeah
you use one of the blank notes to start like a lil drawing diary of sorts ???? like just to draw stuff in whenever you’re inspired or you see something pretty
and you definitely saw smth pretty today ;))))))))
hint: ITS MARK
you try to draw him from memory but it doesn’t look quite right and like :(((((( how sad is that what if you don’t even see him again
the rest of the month passes pretty quickly in the same fashion
by now you’ve befriended the bus driver and he tells you all the cool secret nooks and crannies of town for you to go find
he’s also your bff pretty much he always tells you about his daughter and all the cute things she does and you just talk about your life in general and he gives you advice
congrats you’ve unlocked Wise Uncle
he gives you directions to this teeny TINY flower shop where you befriend the old lady who works there by bringing a muffin everytime you go by
she trades you for a seasonal flower and makes a big deal out of tucking it behind your ear herself
basically you find all the cute old people in town and make them your friend because.
THATS CUTE
ADDED BONUS OF LIKE 17 PARENT FIGURES TO GIVE YOU ADVICE
this is accidentally straying into art hoe territory i hope y’all are okay w/ that
school is starting really soon and you’re nervous but also used to this so it doesn’t affect you as bad as normally
also you did meet some people so you aren’t going in with no friends but like, pretty close to no friends
on the first day of school you ride the bus and you see ???? mark ????? on your bus ????????
so you get on and do your daily greeting of the bus driver
his daughter lost her first tooth AW
you fake cry and he says “mood” and you lose it because you’re pushing internet culture onto this unsuspecting middle aged man skdkdkkd
you pat him on the shoulder as you walk back to find a seat but there are none because for some reason the bus is busy this early in the morning ????
you wouldn’t know lmao summer sleep schedule had you up at 10 at the earliest
so you go to stand and hold onto one of the poles in the center
(nearby our boy mark LEE)
mark looks up from his phone
these god damn millennials always on that damn phone
and he sees you and he’s like wHOA what’s up uhhh Soccer Ball Girl
and nice you remembered his name bUT HE DIDNT REMEMBER YOURS
but then he’s like nahhhh just kidding i remember ur name hey y/n !!!
you talk otw to school and find out you’re both seniors at the same school and how you’re excited for sports games and like, GRADUATING
mark keeps trying to offer you his seat but you refuse and he pouts everytime you say no :((((
good god just take the seat look at the sad baby boy :((((((((((((
there is an, occurrence
at one point the bus goes over a bump and you stumble a little and mark reaches up to catch you before you literally fall on him
his hands fly out and grab you by the hips to steady you since he’s sitting and you’re standing and he can’t exactly reach your shoulders sO YEA
or at least that’s his explanation in his head huehuehuehe
his hands linger for MAYBE 10 seconds before he whips them back into his pockets and blushes while you thank him
you: are also blushing
the bus driver: completely did that on purpose
when you get off the bus your Second Dad tells you good luck and pats you on the head and mark is like ???? do you know him
and you’re like yeah that’s my man maurice we’re buds
and he’s like ???? i’ve rode that bus all my life to school and i’m not buds with him wtf :/
“srry you’re not as lovable as me!! jealousy is a disease <3”
and he laughs his dorky laugh
you highkey are smiling so big because this boy is so cute and he’s walking close enough that your shoulders brush every once in a while and he has a silly laugh and AW
as you walk into the school marks group of Boys starts waving him over excitedly and he turns in their direction but then stops when he sees you aren’t following
“hey whatcha doin???”
“well uhhh those are Your Boys you know and i’m, i don’t, really, uh they don’t know me”
“aw cmon they’ll love you!!! look ill just introduce you and if they’re terrible and annoying you can leave”
“........ i gue-“
but he’s already grabbed your hand and is pulling you over to them
“sup fellas this is y/n and she just moved here this year so don’t be too overwhelming.”
the smaller one with the highish voice chimes in
“aww but overwhelming is my only setting”
“then just don’t be yourself, chenle”
“heYYY it’s that girl i almost killed in the park !!! so sorry about that by the way”
he introduces them to you one by one and they all shake your hand
jisung is the one with the big ass yaoi hands and also the one who almost ended your young life
jaemin is the one with pretty smile
jeno is the one with the squishy eyes
renjun is the Art Hoe of the group you can just tell
he’s wearing some got damn overalls you gotta befriend him immediately
donghyuck is the one with beautiful skin and a v high voice you’re highkey like hey but can you dROP THE SKINCARE ROUTINE and he’s like “i just wash my face every day xoxo :*”
you quickly learn who is a piece of shit and who isn’t
you figure out who has classes with you and then set off for the day !!
mark has gym and economics with you but those are after lunch :(((
he squeezes your shoulder before he leaves and says good luck though so you’ll survive
you have art with renjun first and this boy is your bestie already
he’s such a sarcastic shit and he too likes drawing random things and vandalizing school textbooks with artistically correct memes
he also has the AUDACITY
“so, you and mark already ;););)(;);)))”
“i uh don’t know what you mean by that”
“you SO do!!!!! you guys walked into school together everyone probably already thinks you’re a thing”
“oh shit really??? ah i feel so bad”
“is that a bad thing???”
“i mean yeah i’m not tryna Tarnish mark’s reputation”
“that is some self hatred bs he would be lucky to have you !!!!”
“renjun you don’t even know me that well yet”
“i know enOUGH”
you just uhh change the subject which renjun def notices but like
who cares
renjun apparently also goes to the same flower shop as you !!!
you find out because you see him drawing the front of it and you’re like heY i’ve been there my girl edna works there !!!!! she insist i call her grandma tho
and he’s all oh sHIT that’s my girl too !!!!!!
long story short edna is now your shared grandmother
now THAT is some uwu shit
you go about your day and it’s lunchtime and yOU uh don’t know where to sit :(
you see a girl that you met who works at the little coffee shop you like so you set off in her direction and you’re almost there when jeno and jaemin walk up and sling an arm around your shoulder from either side
“hEY BUDDY” -jeno
“SUP SQUIRT” -jaemin
and they start steering you in another direction towards their own table
“god of all nicknames you had to give me sQUIRT”
“yes it’s because you’re cute and small like squirtle”
“that’s a god damn reach if i’ve ever seen one but okay”
you get there and they practically TOSS you into the seat next to mark
he winces and gives you and apologetic pat on the back before starting the conversation
“alright so who actually did the summer reading”
as the table bursts into Absolute Ruckus you just kind of sit back and watch
mark notices you being quiet and while renjun and chenle are arm wrestling he leans over to quietly be like
“hey you doin okay over there? are they too much”
“oh not at all i’m just takin it in lmao”
“yeah that’s understandable. they’re easily the most entertaining group of people you’ll ever meet but also i’ve wanted to strangle every single one of them at least once”
“what are you 30??? you talk about them like you’re their mom”
“i mean someone’s gotta do it”
you and mark talk all throughout lunch and head to gym together since that’s next
exercising right after eating ??? sounds like a GREAT plan thanks so much public school system !!!!
you go to pull out your bag of gym clothes but ??? all you’ve got is shorts ?????
S H I T
you start whining because you’re like aWW i’m gonna get in trouble :(((((
and he’s like here i have like 12 shirts in here because i always bring too many and then leave some when i got soccer practice i gotchu
(he gives you the clean shirt that hasn’t been sitting in his locker <3333 what a guy)
you thank him proFUSELY and then go to the girls locker room to change
the shirt is too big and you don’t wanna look like a Bag so you tie a lil knot in it in the front
you don’t look like a thot tho you just look Cute As Fuck
some girl in the locker room lets you borrow a hair tie and off we go !!!
it’s the first day so everyone literally just stretches and sits around talking
you’ve hashtag LOST mark and you don’t have any friends yet so you’re just chillin talking to the girl who gave you a hair tie because she seems nice and you got nothin better to do
you’re explaining to her how to take care of a succulent /properly/ when mark catches a basketball that was headed right for you yelling a watch it !!!! over his shoulder
he turns to you and giggles a little, nudging your foot with his
“you’re just a danger magnet aren’t you”
“i mean danger is my middle name so”
“uGH get your ass over here away from all those freshman hoodlums who think they can play”
you wave bye to your friend because there’s literal fear in her eyes at the sight of mark ??
you ask her what’s wrong later and she’s like oh it’s not him i just have a crippling fear of boys
(that’s a mood)
you and mark pass a volleyball back and forth and fuck around pretty much all period
this is actually the one (1) sport he isn’t good at thank GOD you were worried he had no flaws
at the end of the class you ask him if he wants his shirt back and he says, and i quote,
“nah you and your thot knot can keep it, looks cuter on you anyways”
you smack his arm for calling you a thot but then thank him anyways for the shirt and for calling you cute :))))))))
econ passes the same way except normal clothing and no sports
although mark does throw a wadded up piece of paper on you that says u want 2 hang w the boys n me after school ? if yes then breathe if no do a backflip
this headass boy
you throw it back so it bounces off his forehead and then nod to confirm you will
you don’t have any of the boys in your last class and you don’t where to meet up so you just kind of loiter by your locker since jeno’s is pretty close to yours and maybe they’ll meet here ????
luckily jisung spots you and is like hey what r u doin here aren’t u hanging with us after school??? cmon
you follow him out to the parking lot where they’re all gathered around jeno and jaemins vehicles because apparently they’re the only ones with actual cars
rip
they start waving too excitedly when they see you and mark smiles all big
wooOOO baby boy already has a crush on you :3
they’ve apparently already decided to go to chenles house because apparently he’s fuckin loaded
you don’t believe that for a sECOND because he’s wearing crocs and an old ass polo shirt but
we’ll see
you mark and renjun ride with jaemin while the Babies ride with jeno since he is able to ignore them being crackheads in the backseat and drive his vehicle without crashing
apparently they’ve cause multiple vehicular accidents ??? possibly the reason renjun doesn’t have a car ???????
who knows
y’all have a blast in jaemins car tho playing tokyo drift from the third fast and furious movie if u haven’t heard that shit plEASE GO LISTEN WHAT A SONG HEHEHHEHHEHE
you pull into this BIG ASS house and you’re like no fucking way dude
and everyone else in the car simultaneously says
“i know right ???”
y’all pull in and go inside and it’s real nice holy SHIT
chenle comes in cackling followed closely be jisung and more sedately by jeno who looks ready to fckin die
you pat him on the shoulder and go you did well, soldier
he salutes solemnly before breaking out into the smile
y’all know the one
you UWU right there on the spot but hold yourself back from poking his cheek and cooing
chenle then SCREECHES and yells
“WHO IS TRYNA PLAY JUST DANCE”
and everyone crowds into his living room
somehow the couch is big enough to fit all of you comfortably that’s fckin impressive
you play just dance for 3 whole ass hours and now you’re Tired and Ready To Go Home
there’s a bus stop nearby and you insist upon walking since jaemin already have you a ride here and you didn’t even have gas money to give him :(((
mark goes to since you have to catch the same bus
you hum as you skip around the sidewalk and he walks behind you smiling fondly while you twirl around
he recognizes the song and whistles along and wow !!!!
Harmony™️
when you get to the stop you’re like 5 mins early
so to entertain yourselves you play rock paper scissors and each time the winner gets to flick the loser on the forehead
mark is a sweet boy so he flicks softly but you go all out
wouldn’t be surprised if he had a bruise tmrw girly u need to chill
you sit on the bus together when it arrives since there’s actually room now and he slumps down low until his head is pretty much rested on your shoulder
(our man maurice sees and is like GET IT GIRL but only so you notice and you make threatening hand motions at him)
you’re not sure if he’s asleep so you stay extra still just in case
and no one needs to know you rested your cheek on top of his head
but when it gets to your stop you’re like mark? mark lee??? mork ???? wake up ??? and you nudge him a little with your shoulder and he sits up and rubs his eyes aW
he slow blinks at you and goes
“hm?”
and you’re like i uh gotta go now
and he’s like :/// okay i’ll see you tomorrow and stands up and gives you a half hug before you go
maurice is DYING in the front you’re going to kill him
you walk home with a smile on your face and again your mom is suspicious of your good mood but you’re like aw it’s nothin just had a good day at school made lots of friends !!!!!!
as summer turns into fall you make more friends but you mostly hang out with the boys because they’re funny and nice to you and also Mark is there and we love our boy
you guys all attend football games together and go absolutely ALL OUT for whatever the theme is
for example: the theme was halloween and you all dressed as god damn SMURFS
it was legendary there was not one bit of you all that wasn’t covered in blue paint
jisung almost fought some girl who thought he was from the movie Avatar until everyone was like jisung cHILL OUT ITS NOT HER FAULT YOURE VERY TALL AND COMPLETELY BLUE
and well
can’t argue with that
it gets chillier though so you all bring blankets and cuddle most of the games
all of the boys suspiciously aren’t cold at first until you and mark share a blanket
they’re so obvious GOD
with each time y’all share you get more relaxed around each other until eventually mark has one arm slung around you and your legs are hooked over one of his thighs while y’all Snuggle
renjun waggles his eyebrows at you every five minutes and you discreetly give him the finger every time
little ASSHOLE
college applications are due like. right now
you all apply to a nice university close by as a backup/safe place and then apply to more brazy places just to see if you can get in
everyone’s been real stressed lately so you’re like !!!!! hey imma throw a friendsgiving party !!! yeehaw !!!!!!!!!
and you invite all of them over
“everyone bring smth and i’ll bake a ham or smth,,, i swear to GOD if all of you show up with store-bought pumpkin pie. i will kill you and then myself”
“what’s with you and pumpkin pie?”
“jUST. don’t”
((((srry i’m projecting my hatred of pumpkin pie onto u reader heheehehheh))))
everyone comes over and it’s really chilly so you have a fire in the fireplace and you have a couple of your gal pals over too
your mom is nice enough to leave y’all alone for the night and she’s not hurt since it’s not real thanksgiving
we stan moms
you bring out the ham and someone has brought green beans and mark ,,,, tHAT ANGEL he brought cornbread stuffing do y’all know what i’m talking abt
OOO THAT STUFF IS GOOD
and there’s sweet potatoes and apple pie and all the Thanksgiving Essentials
jisung wanted to be a dick so he brought cranberry jelly
“why don’t you have some:) cranberry preserves:) , jisung” -you, every 30 seconds
everyone sits down to eat and it’s LOUD so you’re like shut UP !!!!!!!!!!
“every1 say smth ur thankful for :3333”
“my family !!!!”
“you guys <3”
“awW BOOO” - everyone, while throwing things at jaemin
“my life !!”
“that i’m happy”
“gay” -chenle
“minecraft”
anyways no one took it seriously until it got to mark
“i’m grateful y/n moved here :))))))”
everyone goes KSKDDIDI and you blush and you’re like okay ily mark JSKKD
everyone EATS A LOT and then you go sit in a pile in the living room
you go to make hot chocolate for everyone and when you come back it’s , interesting how there’s only room for you next to mark . hm
you pass out the hot chocolate and everyone reaches Maximum Sleepytime
at this point you’re too tired to give a fuck and you just flop onto the couch next to mark and curl up into his side
he puts his arm around you to pull you close and this mf presses a tiny barely there kiss to your temple
you look up and like talk with your eyes
did u just
i did
oh
yeah
and then you just settle back down
it’s too crowded in here for any Moves to be Made
bUT YALL BEST BELIEVE WHEN ALL THESE YOUNGINS GET OUT UR HOUSE
you’ve got the karate kid on bc ??? who doesn’t love the karate kid and all of your cutie friends are asleep in various places
but once it gets super late you start waking people up and going hey i love you but your mom called mine like 8 times you gotta gO
you make sure everyone is awake fully if they’re driving and to text you when they got home safe
at long last
you’re alone
in your house
with mark
actually where is mark
mark has disappeared ?????
you start looking around for him and find him in your room ???
“you snoopin thru my things ??!?!??”
he jumps and is like uHH but you’re like nah you’re fine idc
so he continues and he was really just lookin at what kind of books you have and the little drawings and paintings and knick knacks everywhere
you just sit on your bed and observe him
let’s be real he’s nice to look at and you’d be perfectly fine doing this for uhhh the rest of your life
he pulls a book off your shelf and starts flipping through it until he pauses at a page
and his face blooms into this big smile and he looks hella giddy
and you’re like uhh hey whatcha lookin at there bud
and he just keep smiling and it’s a little smug now wtf
“when were you reading this?”
“oh uh i don’t know i got it this summer at that cute little bookshop”
“was it, by chance, the day we met?”
“i mean maybe??? why ????”
and he shows you the page and it’s tHAT oNE WHERE YOU WERE DOODLING BITS OF HIM AND WRITING HIS NAME ALL OVER IT
FUCK !!!!!!!
you immediately turn tomato red and snatch the book in to hold it tightly to your chest
“uhhh i do that with uhhhh eVerYONE I MEET”
“aw i thought i was special:((((”
he’s creeping closer to you this whole time until he’s INCHES AWAY
he gently pulls the book out of your hands and places it aside before grabbing your wrists and uncrossing your arms
“personally, i think it’s really cute”
you blush even more this man knows what he’s doing
you mumble a thanks with your eyes trained on his fuzzy socks what a dork
he releases one of your wrists to push your chin up so he can look you in the eyes
“do you really do that with everyone you meet?”
“,,,,,,, no it’s just you”
“alright cool”
and then he wraps his arms around your waist to pull you close til you’re pressed together chest to chest AW
he nudges his nose against yours and you close your eyes because your god daMN HEART IS POUNDING AND YOU CANT LOOK DIRECTLY INTO THOSE BIG PUPPY EYES
he presses the sweetest and gentlest of kisses to each cheek and then to the top of your nose
he presses one last lingering kiss on your forehead before he tilts his chin down to press your lips together
it’s so soft and innocent wow i’m going to SHED TEARS WRITING THIS
and he pulls away and you press your face into his neck in embarrassment
he chuckles a lil and rubs your back, leaning his cheek against your head
“hey, you down there”
you say “yeah?” but your voice is muffled by his neck and it’s more like eh ???
“my girlfriend y/n will you be ???”
what the fuck
you pull your head back so you can look at his face which is turning steadily redder
“uh what”
“shIT uh i meant will you uh bemygirlfriend”
your confused expression turns into a shit eating grin and you’re like
“what was that :)))) i didn’t hear you :)))))”
he groans and rests his forehead on your shoulder and pitifully whines out
“please be my girlfriend :(((((“
you pick his face up and hold it between your palms and he pouts playfully
“well how could i say no to that face”
and you smooch him right on those lil pouted lips
“yes i’ll be your girlfriend”
he smiles real big and smooshes you against him aw
wow so now you’re mark lee’s gf
LUCKY BITCH
lowkey you get a few threats but as soon as mark catches wind of that he stands on the statue in front of the school and announces that if anyone has a problem with you they’ve got a problem with him !!!!
and he looks like: ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ
you drag him down while apologizing to everyone in the general vicinity
mark is. veRY CLINGY NOW
i mean no complaints here it’s just
wow
you’ll be standing at your locker when BAM mark is wrapped around you from behind and you get a hey baby how’s ur day right in your ear
in gym class he restrains himself since the coaches are always like LEE KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF
but he always whines after and is like
:((((( but you look so cute in my shirt i wanna squish you
whenever mark comes over you force him to let you draw him at least once
each time it gets easier since you’ve started to memorize the details of his face and the knuckles of his hands and the shape of his shoulders
a lot of times he just comes over to watch movies and talk
he’s not an eloquent guy
(“you all look like pretty grass :)))” - mark lee)
but he gets what he needs to say out and he enjoys listening to you talk about whatever’s on your mind
you’ve started a glow in the dark star sticker collection to put on your ceiling and each time he comes over you put a constellation up there
so you’ll lay in bed and turn off the lights and just stare at the ceiling and try to name them all
soon you’ll just get sleepy though and press your face into his chest
he uwu’s every time :((((
after he’s done being astonished by his Baby™️ he’ll wrap his arms around you and stroke a hand up and down your spine wow
Real Relaxation Hours
your mom will come home and find y’all asleep and then SHE uwu’s and it’s just one big cute MESS
he loves to kiss you right as he’s leaving like he’ll lay one on you then RUN to the bus stop
p.s. maurice is on y’all every day saying he called it AY
his other favorite kisses are when he catches you off guard and just turns you around and kisses you and you’re like
I’m Confused But I Like This
lots of sweet pecks throughout the day and then longer slower stuff when you’re home and alone and relaxing
leaves hickeys on your neck literally just to be annoying
it’s oKAY THO DONT TELL HIM YOU LIKE IT
months pass and youve said your first “i love you’s” to each other and renjun is always like so when y’all gettin married huh
you both SMACK him simultaneously
but lowkey you would marry mark he’s the best and you love him so wHY NOT
but it’s early and you know that and you’re happy with what you have now :))))))
pls love and support our hardworking baby mark lee he is doing his best and i love him goodnight
#mark#mark lee#mark lee scenario#mark lee scenarios#mark lee fluff#nct 2018#nct u#nct 127#nct dream#nct dream scenarios#nct scenario#nct scenarios#nct u scenarios#nct u fluff#nct fluff#kpop#kpop scenarios#nct 127 scenarios#y'all best believe I used all the tags my baby boy mark better blow tf up#nct
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the help adrien liou club
first things first, happy birthday madelyn!!!!! consider this a little birthday present. it may not be proper writing but i hope at the very least it make you smile.
toplessasshole added promotedtotoplesbian, mmmmplants, and glassesandgoodasses to the chat
toplessasshole has set the chat name to HELP ADRIEN LIOU CLUB
promotedtotoplesbian: for one dollar a day u can help aiden leé from whatever hes suffering from
glassesandgoodasses: Asshole disease.
mmmmplants: guys stop there’s no cure he was born with asshole disease
mmmmplants: and stop talking about it you know he’s sensitive
promotedtotoplesbian: shit ur right hes a cancer
toplessasshole: I DONT HAVE CANCER WHAT THE FUCJ
promotedtolesbian: buddy bud bud pls calm down
toplessasshole: NI
mmmmplants: ni
toplessasshole: FUCK OFF MRIANRA THIS ISJR FUNNY
mmmmplants: good thing my name isn’t Mrianra!
glassesandgoodasses: Oh? Personally, I think it’s hilarious.
promotedtotoplesbian: rt
mmmmplants: rt
toplessasshole: STOP
mmmmplants: we should add Rhys so we can get another rt
toplessasshole: DONT ADD RHYS
promotedtotoplesbian: instructions unclear rhys winters added world peace achieved
mmmmplants: why shouldn’t we add him bitch
toplessasshole: BECAUSE HES RHE PROBLEM HES TJE REASON IM HERE
promotedtotoplesbian: nah the reason ur here is bc aphrodite didnt want to get an abortion [message liked by: mmmmplants]
toplessasshole: AKDJWIDJWISHWISJWL
glassesandgoodasses: Keyboard smash? That’s gay.
toplessasshole: YOUR GAY
glassesandgoodasses: *you’re
toplessasshole: STIP IT
mmmmplants: stip
toplessasshole: JUST DONR ADD RHYS
promotedtotoplesbian: ily but ur making it so hard not to add rhys
mmmmplants: and I hate you but you’re making it so hard not to add Rhys [message liked by: promotedtotoplesbian]
glassesandgoodasses: What did Rhys do, anyway?
toplessasshole: KJSKSJSKSJSKSJQWK
promotedtotoplesbian: breaking news rhys winters kjskjsjsksksjqwk’d the night away
toplessasshole: STOP BULLYING ME
toplessasshole: HES WEARING YELLOW
toplessasshole: AND I LIKE IT
toplessasshole: BUT I DONT
mmmmplants: Top 10 Anime Plot Twists
promotedtotoplesbian: miranda is a weeb confirmed
mmmmplants: blocked.
promotedtotoplesbian: >:(
glassesandgoodasses: Turn the hat upside down.
promotedtotoplesbian: no ur making it insecure
promotedtotoplesbian: ur cancelled now
glassesandgoodasses: I’m sorry. I’ll buy it a new hat.
promotedtotoplesbian: >:) renewed
mmmmplants: it looks like a devil
promotedtotoplesbian: u look like a devil
mmmmplants: I AM the devil
promotedtotoplesbian: top 10 anime plot twists
mmmmplants: sorry who were you calling a weeb Bella
toplessasshole: ITS JUST HE LOOKS SO GOODBIJ YELLOW HE SHOULD WEAR IT MOTE OFTEN BUT THEN HE WOULDDBT WEAR TJE REES S PIEVES HOODIE WE GOT HIM AND I LIKE KNWOING I HELPED BUY HIM SOEMRHING THAT MADE HIMVHPAPY AND I JISY LIKE MALIKG HIM HAPPY IK GENERAL BUT HE LOOKS GOOD IN YWLLOW BECAUSE HES BLONDE ANR YELLOW IS KINND OF BLONFE BUT YELLOW ID ALSO WARM LIKE HIM AJR HE LOOJS GOOD IK WARM COLORS HIS EYES WRE COLD BUT WHEN HE WEARS TELLOW HE LOOKS WARM LIKE HE REALLT IS UE LOOKS GOOD IN YELLOW AND IT MAKES MY HEART GO DISBDISNDJWHDIWJWJ SO ITS PROBABLT HIM MESSING WITH MY HEAD HE OROBAKLT DOESNT LOOK THAT GOD IM JUSB IMAGINIJG IT
mmmmplants: “he probably doesn’t look that god”
promotedtotoplesbian: u cant write an essay but u can write a long ass text about how much ur in love with rhys winters
glassesandgoodasses: You can practically see Adrien getting more desperate as you read along.
mmmmplants: with every typo Adrien loses ten years off his life
promotedtotoplesbian: that doesnt work hes four years old?????
glassesandgoodasses: *three
mmmmplants: *two
glassesandgoodasses: *one
promotedtotoplesbian: blast off!!!!! [message liked by: glassesandgoodasses, mmmmplants]
glassesandgoodasses: Where did Adrien go.
mmmmplants: he done gone Peter Parker’d
promotedtotoplesbian: those typos actually took ten years off his life
mmmmplants: he lost so many years he doesn’t exist anymore
glassesandgoodasses: He Doctor Who’d himself out of this world.
promotedtotoplesbian: nerd
mmmmplants: nerd
toplessasshole: I AM NOT IJ LOVE WITH RHYS HES JUST PRETTY IN YELLOW BELLA
mmmmplants: unfortunately he didn’t done gone Peter Parker’d
glassesandgoodasses: We all know you got distracted from the group chat because you were too busy admiring how nice Rhys looks in yellow, but okay, Adrien. [message liked by: promotedtotoplesbian, mmmmplants]
promotedtotoplesbian: “iM nOt iN loVE witH rHYs wINTerS hEs jUsT pREttY iN yELLoW beLLA”
toplessasshole: I’M!!!! NOT!!!!!!!!!!
mmmmplants: liar liar limited edition Adidas colorblock superstars on fire
glassesandgoodasses: I’m not even going to ask how you know what the specifics of his shoes are.
mmmmplants: you shouldn’t bc at this point everyone in the hemisphwhatever knows
mmmmplants: anybody: hi Adrien: My Limited Edition Adidas Colourblock Superstars Magical Three Thousand Dollar Sjkgdfklmsbqjkshés Say Hi Back :)
toplessasshole: IM IN LOVE WITH MY SHOES NOT RHYS WINTERS
toplessasshole: I DONT EVEN LIKE RHYS IN THAT WAY
promotedtotoplesbian: oh my bad adrien
promotedtotoplesbian changed the chat name to aidiãn LIKE LIKES reese summers???!????
toplessasshole changed the chat name to bela swan LIKE LIKES cedric diggiori??!?!?
promotedtotoplesbian changed the chat name to bellla HATE HATES aidianaidbairenian????!!?!
toplessasshole changed the chat name to aidanriwhdsj LOVE LOVES adrienaidhaishswj???!?!!??
glassesandgoodasses changed the chat name to shut up my phone is blowing up with notifications
toplessasshole changed the chat name to adrien isnt in love with rhys and thats the tea
promotedtotoplesbian changed the chat name to we didnt even bring that up u just brought it back up bc ur in denial and THATS the tea
mmmmplants changed the chat name to stop talking like that
glassesandgoodasses changed the chat name to yes please
promotedtotoplesbian to sis no omg im spilling all the #tea
mmmmplants changed the chat name to i smell a james charles stan
promotedtotoplesbian changed the chat name to i smell a weeb
mmmmplants changed the chat name to petition to remove Bella from the gc
glassesandgoodasses changed the chat name to PETITION TO DELETE THIS CHAT
#there was like three more lines but tumblr wouldnt let me fit it all#happy birthday ily!!!!!#and the other writings are coming soon i swear
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Beginning
So I guess for starters Im gonna say i am probably going to remain anonymous for a while. Also this stuff might get deep and personal so ill change all names. Since freelytinystudentblog is ridiculously long im just going to go but Eve because why not. Im not trying to look for attention posting all this stuff but i need an outlet and what better way to do it than anonymously on a website where it probably wont get read. So if you do happen to stumble onto this page then welcome. Hopefully you wont get bored. I guess its time for me to start with the beging which would be about 3ish years ago when I was a wee little lass and believed that because i was 13 i was basically the shit(which i obvously wasnt). I had moved a total of 3 times which doesnt seem too bad but it was always when i got really attached to people we moved and i never spoke to them again. This time was no different. We moved from one small town to another. Being one of the only mixed kids there besides my brother was surprisingly positive and annoying. Why youre probaly not asking? Well because my hair was everyones interest. A big ball of poof i always threw into a pony tail because honestly there wasnt much else to do with it. Everyone wanted to play with it or see how much stuff i could hide in it. It was fun at first but quickly got annoying. While there was that downside to the town it also had some positives. For example it was there that i realized that i was bisexual. To be honest i never thought about liking girls until my boyfriend at the time and his friend were talking about how they were both Bi and i said it to fit in a little. I didnt actually believe it until i realized the way girls made me felt. How i always caught myself looking at their chests and their butts, and how i fell for my friend Taylor. She was my first offical girl crush. Anyway this is getting a little off topic though it was important. Like i said there were many positives like the cool friends i got to meet, I got into blood in the dance floor and had a little emo phase and met a guy i thought id be with forever. That all sounds good but with all positives comes negatives. I began to get super depressed and even cut a few times. I felt trapped in my relationship with Damien. Whenever we fought hed threaten to kill himself or say stuff like “without you id kill myself” which is a shitty thing to say to someone in my opinion. I started doing things id never do like sneaking my boyfriend over and all that. But the biggest neutral that happened was me losing my virginity. No big deal it seems but i was freshly turned 14 and he was 16. We werent safe there was no protection. I know losing your virginity is supposed to be meaningful but i dont remember it. I wasnt drunk or anything so i dont know why i dont remember it. Anyway a couple weeks later i snuck out and walked around town and ended up having sex again in the graveyeard(insert judgement here) I knew something was wrong soon after. I felt sick so i told him i thought i was pregnant. He paled and asked if i was would i abort it. I instantly said no because i dont believe in abortions. After that night things got weird. Me my mom and my brother went to Tennessee. Driving up the mountains i felt sick to my stomach which i brushed off as carsickness. We get back from our vacation and i started craving the weirdest shit like frozen hot pockets, whole packages of cheese ect. I caught myself randomly thinking about having a baby and got scared. I ended up having my older family friend get me a pregnancy test and surprise surprise i was el prego. I cried for about 5 minuets before shutting down. I didnt know how to feel i was only 14. I called and told Damien that night and he was as shocked as i was. Later on he told me he started crying after we hung up. So a few days later i went home and told mom. She wasnt as mad as i thought she would be. She refused to let me give the baby up for adoption because it was my mistake and i had to live with it. I dont think i couldve done it anyway. No one really understands how attached you get to the little baby inside you. I believe the same day i told the rest of my family. My grandma didnt talk to me for a couple of months. I had an aunt who told me i needed to give it up for adoption because i was gonna ruin the babys life.I had another aunt not let me see my cousin Bri for atleast 6 months which hurt so much. Me and bri are like sisters we’ve been almost inseperable ever since we were little which is funny since shes younger than me. Damien was determined to stay in the babys life and not leave no matter what. Me being pregnant at such a young age wasnt easy. I lost most of my friends and began homeschooling which was terrible. The nine months of me being pregnant was basically filled with me fighting with my boyfriend getting insanely jealous, cheating, and more sex. We shouldve left each other months ago. Looking back i shouldve left sooner. It was a toxic relationship for both of us. 9 months later my baby boy was born. Mister Phoenix. My angel. It was kind of ridiculous damien and i fought even in the hospital. We brought phoenix home and i was hoping the relationshup would get better. It didnt. I caught him sexting his ex and swore to break it off with him. I didnt. I swore to myself i wasnt going to let my baby grow up without a father. In july 2015 we moved 45 minuets away. Damien came on the weekends because my mom picked him up and took him home. That laster all summer until school started and he couldnt anymore. It seemed like us being apart made us fight even more. By november he broke up with me. Now i was 15 and a single mother. I was devasted. I had no one to turn to since i didnt have any friends in my new town. I was alone and began eating my depression away. Every month on the 11th i would sit down and cry. I wasnt in a good state. By 2016 i swore to myself id move on from Damien and become an amazing mother but it was so hard He kept popping in every 3 months or so flirting with me making me fall for him over and over again only to get crushed over and over again. It was a hellish cycle but honestly im glad i went though it. Why you ask? Well simply because every time he left itd give me more reason to stop liking him and even hating him. Now he texts me and i just roll my eyes. Going through that definately helped me move on. He wasnt there for any of the birthdays and i honestly am glad. I understand its my kids father but i grew up with a dad who lived in the same city and still couldnt come see me. I dont want my baby going through that. Once hes older i plan on explaining everything and giving him a choice of whether he wants to get in contact with his father or not. Itll be completely up to him. Now before you start judging me to hard think about this. I became a single parent at 15. The father never visted his son or even asked. Hell this january was the first time he saw phoenix in Two years. Two thats ridiculous. After the very awkward encounter he hasnt bothered asking to see him since. Its hard for people who dont have kids to understand this i know but i know what im doing is for the best. This sunday is going to be his 3rd birthday and his father came up with stupid excuses as usual. Now i know i left out some stuff but some of it is hard to put into words plus if i added anymore itd be unbelievably long. So this was the begining and current i guess. 14 and pregnant. 15 and a single parent. currently almost 18 and still doing it bymyself just a little better. Thats all for now. Ill probably make another one soon about relationships while being a single parent so yeah. Peace.
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If you're still doing the Au word/ sentence thingy can I please chuck 'accidental spooning' into the mix? 🙊I just read all of the ones you wrote and i don't stop smiling from reading them until I realised that there weren't any more 😩love your writing and characterisation!!
thank u sooo much!!! im sorry theyre takin so long rip hope u like this one too💗 (lol this got way too long sorry)so, au where isak goes to his grandparents during his summer vacation and he hasnt been there for a year now, so he feels excited to spend a few weeks there and catch up on everything thats been happening. and its all going fine until he has to set the table and his grandma hands him a fourth plate and isak is confused?? and when he asks about it his grandma slaps a hand to her forehead, “i didnt even mention” and isak kinda has a bad feeling about it, “we’ve got a lovely boy helping us with the garden and other outside work”
then isak frowns ,“alright, but why does he need to have dinner with us?” and his grandma looks at him in a way that tells isak he’s being a little rude, “he lives here for a few months, until he gets enough money for a flat” and isaks just. he has to sit down bc wow thats really smth they should’ve mentioned. especially that now he’s got his hopes up that its a really cute boy, wearing the cute garden dungarees with a cute straw hat. and the boy walks in just like that the next minute, except the hat but isak doesnt mind bc his hair falling into his face a little sweaty is smth isak could look at for hours. the boy’s eyes find isaks, and he blinks twice before smiling, walking up to isak, taking his gloves off and reaching out a hand, “hello, im even, u must be isak. its really nice to finally meet u” and isaks mind is going a mile a minute trying to let his voice AND their clasped hands sink in, and he doesnt get a word out just nods, then even walks away to take a shower and isaks body slams down on the chair and he feels exhausted for no reason. or it might be bc of how much his heart had to work with in no more than 5 minutes. then when he’s back, sitting opposite him, and theyre having dinner he finds out a little more about even but only basics like why he took this job ,why he’s not found a flat yet, or that he’s single. one of these make isak tighten the grip around his fork.
after a few stolen glances at even and blushing pink when he gets caught half of the time, they finish dinner and isaks walking up to the room that his grandparents made isaks where he could stay when he comes over. except. “we didnt mention i live in this room now, huh” even walks up next to him and no, nobody said anything and the thought of sleeping on the couch makes him want to whine out loud. but then even is walking inside and he waits at the door until isak walks in too, confused. “well good news, we gotta share” and isak snorts, though his heart does a thing. “whats the good news then” and he’s glad when even doesnt get offended but just squints his eyes at him and isak thinks he’s gonna stick his tongue out. he doesnt though, and he just walks over to one of the cabinets and gets out a towel, handing it to isak, “i already showered so.. the bathroom is all yours” and isak thanks him and while he’s drying himself down after the shower, he’s trying to prepare himself for having to share a room with even. and he think he’s got himself together buT THEN he walks in the room and ??? evens lying in bed with his phone. so isak just stops at the door and stares dumbly, “u didnt get me like a, mattress or smth?” and even looks up from his phone, “no? i told you we’d share?” and oh. sharing the bed too. okay. so he hesitantely slips under the blanket, only one for the two of them, and when turns to put his phone next to the bed, his shirt rolls up and isak feels his mouth go dry and he averts his eyes, staring up at the ceiling. then even is squirming beside him trying to get into a comfy position and then theyre both lying on their backs, and its dark in the room now and even breaks the silence, “i hope you dont feel uncomfortable” and isak has to swallow before replying, “uh no, the bed is fine” and even chuckles which tugs at isaks heart, “i meant being uncomfortable with us sharing” and isak doesnt know how sharing a bed with one of the cutest and prettiest boys could be uncomfortable, “its chill” he’s really nervous. “chill” even repeats with a smile in his voice and then he’s turning around with his back to isak, and isak slowly falls asleep.
he wakes up to a soft knocking on the door and a voice from behind it, “breakfast is ready boys” and then isaks about to bury his face deeper into the pillow except his nose smushes against smth harder and he opens one eye to check and shit. its evens back. and his arm is wrapped around evens chest, their legs tangled under the sheets. he starts freaking out and mouths a few swear words then he’s counting down to 3 to slide his arm from evens body but when he’s at 2, even is turning around in his arms and isak freezes and forgets to shut his eyes, and even is facing him now and he can see his eyes slowly start to open and isak holds his breath, his eyes wide and he’s panicking and doesnt know why he just doESNT move his arm??? then even blinks a few times and isak sees he first notices the arm around him, which with him moving slid down to his hips, fingers only hovering above his skin, and he’s slowly turning his gaze ,to isaks chest, his neck and then he finds his eyes and. theyre just. staring. then evens voice is raspy and surprised “uuhh. morning?” and isak is 101% sure he’s gonna faint. “morning” he still doesnt move. then even huffs out a laugh and clears his throat, “did you have a nice sleep?” and isak swallows,”yeah. you?” and evens presses his lips together, rubbing his chin against his shoulder, “me too, really nice” then isak pulls his lips into an awkward smile and he looks to the side, “breakfast is ready” and even raises his eyebrows “yeah? we better go eat then” but neither of them move for another moment, and when isak finally gets the strength to move his arm, even moves his body the same time,and isaks fingers end up touching his hips and they both freeze and isaks just. holding him and evens stuck in a probably uncomfortable position and isaks heart is gonna jUMP out of his chest, then they chuckle nervously and isaks fingers slide down his hips and theyre standing up. isak stays behind and slaps his cheeks to wake up and curses a few more times before walking out with a smile
then theyre eating breakfast, sitting opposite each other again, and isak doesnt dare to look up, he’s afraid he made things awkward. so he’s tossing his food around when his grandma sits down, “so, was everything okay with the sharing?” and isak is already thinking about some reasons why the bed isnt good, but then even hums, “yeah it was cool, right isak?” and isak meets his eyes for the first time since the bed and all he can do is nod and then his grandma starts talking about something else, but isak doesnt listen. he shoots an apologetic smile at even who just shrugs with a grin and isak watches as even puts his mouth around the fork, eyes still on isak. isak blushes and hides his face behind his coffee cup
theyre doing the dishes together, alone in the kitchen and isak takes a deep breath when the silence has been going on for too long, “i hope i didnt make things awkward?” and even smiles at him, handing him a plate to wash off, “you didnt. to be honest it was nice waking up to that” and he bites his bottom lip. isaks heart does that thing again and he finds himself agreeing with even. then even nudges isaks shoulder with his own, “a cuddle’s a cuddle. i dont mind if you sneak your arms around me again” and isak blushes, “i was asleep when i did that!” and even squints his eyes, “mhm, sure” and isak splashes water at even and he does the same, and theyre laughing, but a few bubbles ended up on evens nose and isak admires it for a minute before he reaches up to remove it and even ducks his head with a blush and smiles at the ground and licks his lips with a grin that shines brighter than the washed plates
and that night isak is awake when he throws his arm around even, and he feels even move a bit closer and isak smiles against his back and evens heart picks up a quick rhythm under isaks hand and in the next days they notice how that quick rhythm becomes the normal for them when theyre around each other and it just gets quicker when they first hold hands with their fingers laced as theyre watching a movie on evens laptop or when isaks lips finally find even’s one night
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oh boy i havent done one of these in a WHILE ! time to ramble & hope for the best.
blah blah hey its ya boi andy here with a whole bias list !!! DANG !! okay so like ??? im surprised that i hit 100 already honestly !! i admit, i'm used to hitting that Hundred(tm) mark pretty quick as i'm usually in bigger communities but in one that's as small as go.rillaz & with a character thats so common ?? i'm shook ! noodl.e has been one of my most productive & strongest muses yet. i'm surprised that ive been so on top of things lately when i've been busy with school & my usual muses die down within two to three weeks. but we're just about to hit that 1 month mark and she's still kicking which is absolutely fantastic. i've had a blast with the friends i joined this community with & with the people i've spoken to along the way. now that we're talking about them , let's start the part everybody actually cares about !!
M'HOMBOS . SHORT / people ive been talking to often OOC & who i consider friends ! check the bottom for the sappy shit because i RAMBLED abt these 4.
@bassled / @fractzure / @igninecari / @twodented
HEART EYES . / ppl i've spoken to / thread with but i want to get to know better ! ( aka hmu whenever u want bleas ,,,, )
im also throwing m'boos in here that i didnt talk abt bc we dont interact as much on this blog or some other reasons
@nuorii / @reallyblah / @blackfiire / @russeld / @kaboooms / @wondcrkid / @appxssionato / @airfcil / @riffrcffed / @solhearts / @iimpious
EYES EMOJI x 100 . / people who i've hardly spoken to if at all but would like to eventually interact with more !
@leggystu / @bubberu / @littlebadger / @crackerpaula / @starwished / @endangcred / @cinderella-esque / @wargod / @teenghcst / @halfpact / @tankbitch / @dirvnitas / @gangguro / @kitanosuzume / @toriiel / @scaramouchc / @candieds
M'HOMBOS . LONG / under the cut because i wanna RAMBLE.
@bassled .
I LOVE REN SM. she's literally my best friend i've known her for about 6-7 years & she's absolutely fantastic ok this entire fuckin bias list could be just her but im gonna try not to write an essay on how much i love her. she's been there for me for so long & the fact that she isnt tired of my petty ass yet deserves a damn award. i admire her a lot. this dude goes through so much shit irl and i'm amazed that she's still doing as well as she is, even if she doesnt realize it. if i was in her position i wouldn't even be writing let alone doing everything that she does. & boy her m.urdoc ?? is so good ?? i love him sm and its not me being biased BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY her muds is so fuckin good. ren isnt the most active, sure, but whenever she is i always stop to read her posts because i just !!!! love her sm !!!! she makes murd.oc realistic & makes him more human. she doesnt just focus on him being abusive or an asshole or gross but she definitely doesn't dismiss it either. she's so good at analyzing every little movement he does and turning it into something more and i just !!!! if i keep going this gonna go on for years just know that i love ren a lot :^}
@fractzure .
squidy's ugly ok moving on
JK FJKH no but actually !! ive known squidy for a hot minute too. we've been friends for a good few years now ( met on a .... fucgkign minec.raft server................. ) and i love them sm !!! every call that we have inevitably turns into a shitfest where we're wheezing our asses off. i may get on their ass every second & try to roast them for every little thing but its mostly because i just love their reactions and i love talking to them in general ??? and im petty but we're not talking abt that rn LMAO. but yea squidys such a fun person to hang out with & i appreciate talking to them lots !! and even though theyre not the most active either, i love what they have of their 2.D so far and i cant wait to see more of him once summer starts because i really like squidy's writing and im suuuper excited for that. also theyre making a russ.el probably and im.... so gay...... our thread rn is cute af and we gotta talk more abt them Um Squidy Hmu Bit.
on a final note; Ooga My Booga Is A Social Construct.
@igninecari .
i love !!! bones !!!! i havent known them for long, only a few months maybe, but talking to them every day has been a blast and our convos are usually filled with Chaotic Plotting and us talking over each other and its just. Gr8. we originally met on our a.va's dem.on blogs and i remember loving her m.aggie so fuckin much dude everything she said abt her was so !!! dang !!! good !!!! and even now with her emb.er & her ecla.ir i can see how much care & thought she puts into all of her muses. dude even thinks into their family and develops those characters which makes everything SO MUCH MORE REALISTIC. her writing is a joy to read also ?? its so pretty i love how she describes everything and i love all of the little references she sticks into her descriptions that fit her characters perfectly. im glad i dragged them into g.orillaz hell w/ me because we've got such a good thing going on w/ em & noods it makes me so happy !! also callout for bones WE GOTTA THREAD SMTH ASAP OR IM SPAMMING ASKS
@twodented .
KIT IS AN ANGEL. i've only actually spoken her for maybe ??? two ?? three weeks ??? but we hit it off super quick and shes such a nice & supportive person ! i believe we first followed each other on our a.vas d.emon blogs but, seeing as we were both the same character, we never really approached each other 'til joining g.orillaz. i am so glad we actually started talking bc BOI !!!! I LOVE HER !!! she's so fun to talk to & to plot with. we'll just throw lil concepts at each other every once in a while and its Gr8. and !! her 2.d is so fuckin spot on let me tell u she's one of the ppl that, when i see her on the dash, i stop and read her writing even if it isnt for me because im so gay for her writing style. its so descriptive and eloquent and i love the way she formats ! i feel like she does his dialogue perfectly every time because its never been hard to understand for me but it still reads in his voice in my head which is (ok emoji x20). her hcs are a joy to read & i just !!! dont get me started on what we've talked about for 2.d and noodle im SO FUCKIN HEART-EYES FOR REALLY CLOSE PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS AND THEY GOT ME SO EXCITED TO REPLY TO EVERYTHING ?????? PLATONIC 2N.U IS MY SHIT. tl;dr i love kit & i love kits 2.d sm,,,,,
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