Measured in letters, not syllables. Please do *not* put your deadname in the tags, I don't want to know that

Honestly, if Raul came across Cooper Howard I think within two minutes he’d be like ‘hey, aren’t you that gringo who did all those shitty cowboy movies?’ and then it would just be two old ghoul men fighting. Which is beautiful, but they’re both too old for that shit no matter how many chems Coop takes on the daily. Besides, Raul would win.

i guess my point is i want you to kill the dead tranny in your head. no sorry it’s not a sex thing this time. i just can’t stand the idea of us looking at eachother as corpses waiting to happen.

"tumblr thinks this" "tumblr users act like that" the only thing all tumblr users do is look at posts.

(in a job interview) i guess if i had to say my one strength it would be skipping the ad break on a podcast episode on the first try. yeah there's no button i just guess the number of minutes and i'm always right. oh you meant like work strengths? none

Yes, these Muppets have taken Manhattan. The question now is can they HOLD it

Sit on down and put your legs up 😮‍💨

How is your husband?

He should be fine I left him with enough food and water for a week

y'all... i may be home of sexuals.....😳😳😳

Declaring bankruptcy after buying 1 sandwich and 2 books

I am pretending we are hanging out right now btw. Just so you know

ew no, acab includes the cuteness police

so i love cuties and being one. arrest me

if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stick…some people like driving automatic…what matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people

when the whole house got the autism