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laughingcatwrites · 5 months

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As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.

For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.

But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.

Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.

#I'm so proud and happy for my coworker and I've been trying to figure out how to let him know how amazing I think he is #what gets me the most is that he's keeping this super down low to avoid giving any hints to his kid #he has a lot of queer friends so he already is known as an ally but there's always a chance it will be different if it's family #and he took that chance and crumpled it up into a ball and slam dunked it into the garbage for three points #and decided that even if his kid wants to hide it from him for the rest of his life he will still do what he can to make their life better #pflag #parents doing their best #parenting win #good news #allyship

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whetstonefires · 11 months

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You know what I realize that people underestimate with Pride & Prejudice is the strategic importance of Jane.

Because like, I recently saw Charlotte and Elizabeth contrasted as the former being pragmatic and the latter holding out for a love match, because she's younger and prettier and thinks she can afford it, and that is very much not what's happening.

The Charlotte take is correct, but the Elizabeth is all wrong. Lizzie doesn't insist on a love match. That's serendipitous and rather unexpected. She wants, exactly as Mr. Bennet says, someone she can respect. Contempt won't do. Mr. Bennet puts it in weirdly sexist terms like he's trying to avoid acknowledging what he did to himself by marrying a self-absorbed idiot, but it's still true. That's what Elizabeth is shooting for: a marriage that won't make her unhappy.

She's grown up watching how miserable her parents make one another; she's not willing to sign up for a lifetime of being bitter and lonely in her own home.

I think she is very aware, in refusing Mr. Collins, that it's reasonably unlikely that anyone she actually respects is going to want her, with her few accomplishments and her lack of property. That she is turning down security and the chance keep the house she grew up in, and all she gets in return may be spinsterhood.

But, crucially, she has absolute faith in Jane.

The bit about teaching Jane's daughters to embroider badly? That's a joke, but it's also a serious potential life plan. Jane is the best creature in the world, and a beauty; there's no chance at all she won't get married to someone worthwhile.

(Bingley mucks this up by breaking Jane's heart, but her prospects remain reasonable if their mother would lay off!)

And if Elizabeth can't replicate that feat, then there's also no doubt in her mind that Jane will let her live in her house as a dependent as long as she likes, and never let it be made shameful or awful to be that impoverished spinster aunt. It will be okay never to be married at all, because she has her sister, whom she trusts absolutely to succeed and to protect her.

And if something eventually happens to Jane's family and they can't keep her anymore, she can throw herself upon the mercy of the Gardeners, who have money and like her very much, and are likewise good people. She has a support network--not a perfect or impregnable one, but it exists. It gives her realistic options.

Spinsterhood was a very dangerous choice; there are reasons you would go to considerable lengths not to risk it.

But Elizabeth has Jane, and her pride, and an understanding of what marrying someone who will make you miserable costs.

That's part of the thesis of the book, I would say! Recurring Austen thought. How important it is not to marry someone who will make you, specifically, unhappy.

She would rather be a dependent of people she likes and trusts than of someone she doesn't, even if the latter is formally considered more secure; she would rather live in a happy, reasonable household as an extra than be the mistress of her own home, but that home is full of Mr. Collins and her mother.

This is a calculation she's making consciously! She's not counting on a better marriage coming along. She just feels the most likely bad outcome from refusing Mr. Collins is still much better than the certain outcome of accepting him. Which is being stuck with Mr. Collins forever.

Elizabeth is also being pragmatic. Austen also endorses her choice, for the person she is and the concerns she has. She's just picking different trade-offs than Charlotte.

Elizabeth's flaw is not in her own priorities; she doesn't make a reckless choice and get lucky. But in being unable to accept that Charlotte's are different, and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with Charlotte.

Because realistically, when your marriage is your whole family and career forever, and you only get to pick the ones that offer themselves to you, when you are legally bound to the status of dependent, you're always going to be making some trade-offs.

😂 Even the unrealistically ideal dream scenario of wealthy handsome clever ethical Mr. Darcy still asks you to undergo personal growth, accommodate someone else's communication style, and eat a little crow.

#hoc est meum #pride and prejudice #elizabeth bennet #charlotte lucas #meta #charlotte is a much less sociable person than lizzie #so avoiding her husband most of the time and not seeking out his company is more viable for her!#she also has more patience for people being wrong #partly i think because she kinds checks out and lets them get on with it which lizzie isn't too great at even with her mother #people have different needs like that's a thing okay #marriage #spinsterhood #pragmatism #like if elizabeth had to listen to collins talk for a few months straight she would be nearly insane with rage #he's not just a low-quality man he's a man designed to be the worst for her specifically #also note that because jane's marriage is elizabeth's fallback plan #darcy screwed her over personally by interfering between her and bingley #she ofc does not bring this up how could she #but it's intensifying the anger during the hunsford rejection i think

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foldingfittedsheets · 3 months

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I think it was about a month into dating my betrothed that I first turned to them and said, “You smell hungry, want to get some lunch?”

“I what? I smell hungry?”

“Yeah, like, the empty smell. Aren’t you hungry?”

They were, but it was hard for them to accept smelling a state of being. After a few weeks of me pointing it out right before they realized it themself though they asked, “What does hunger smell like?”

“Bad.”

“That’s not helpful.”

“It’s like… an emptiness that goes past the mouth? Bad breath is more upfront but hunger is like you’re smelling stomach acid, it’s all the way from an empty belly.”

They started smelling my mouth in exaggerated silly fashion but eventually they did start to recognize it.

They’re now very smug when they get to use the skill back at me and inform me that I’m hungry.

#ramblies #my betrothed #it’s like low blood sugar maybe?#I remember the first time I clocked it was in high school sitting next to a kid who only ate candy and his meds and his breath reeked #the hunger in him was great and powerful

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leoleolovesdc · 9 months

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Tim rarely causes trouble, but when he does it's always a serious life or death kind of scenario

Duke is always causing trouble, but it's always the most absurd and silly situations you can think of

#idk #it came in my mind #i dont think tim has energy to cause trouble constantly #so he always spends all of his chaos in one event and then lays low for the rest of the year #dc comics #batman #batfamily #batfam #dc #robin #tim drake #duke thomas #red robin #duke thomas appreciation #the signal

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littleogreboii · 6 months

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i see a lot of people talk about edward being disabled in fma, but it's less often talked about how alphonse is also disabled. i think it's partially because alphonse doesn't experience physical pain like edward so for a majority of the series, he's not having any of those kind of symptoms, but he is still disabled. also because alphonse's experiences are unique. like you don't see ant walking, talking suits of armour in real life (unless they're piloted by a human being physically inside them) and in world, there are about 3 others like alphonse).

alphonse is dependent on edward's survival to function. after fighting scar for the first time, alphonse is literally in pieces. he can't walk or anything until edward is in a position to fix him. similarly his body is dependent on nutrients from edward's body. like there's the point towards the end where edward gets impaled and alphonse collapses. furthermore, these periods where alphonse collapses start to become debilitating towards the end of the series and massively alter his daily living.

also, alphonse constantly talks about how upsetting it is for him to not feel any physical sensations. yeah, he's not feeling physical pain, but he's also not feeling the warmth of a fire, the sun on his face, or the fluffiness of the cats he keeps petting. he talks a lot about not being able to eat or sleep, and how there's a lot of foods he wants to try.

there's another thing that highlighted by edward at one point. alphonse's body doesn't regenerate at all. the parts scar destroys are gone forever; edward stretches out the metal that alphonse has left to repair his body. and obviously human beings don't regrow limbs, but imagine if your skin didn't ever heal over a cut. how long would your body last?

also alphonse gets told several times that his body is great throughout the series, and he literally argues against it every time, because to him it is shit. like he is missing some of his senses just for some supposedly immortal body that isn't even immortal.

even once alphonse gets his own body back, the amount of physical therapy the boy has to go through. his body has essentially been doing nothing and only receiving what nutrients it can get from edward for years. by the end of the series, he's still using a cane as a walking aid. it's unknown whether he requires that cane for the years to come, but for at least a period of time he requires a mobility aid. I don't know enough to say what effect muscle decay from inactivity and severe malnourishment during a major portion of his teenage years would have long term.

#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fullmetal alchemist #fmab spoilers #fmab #fma #fma brotherhood #alphonse elric #i will say im able bodied so that might influence my perception #also if any of the language or thoughts i had seem wrong or are used poorly then i do apologise #im writing this in the middle of the night so my brain is low-key soup #i just do think alphonse suffers as a result of his armoured body and alphonse edward and winry are the only ones to really talk about it

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sixespresso · 5 months

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The way Crowley orbits around his angel 💫

#he's always got his back 💞#good omens #good omens 2 #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #my gifs #my humble low quality gifs

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bluegiragi · 5 months

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monster!au sketchdump #2

1-2: monster swap!! purely indulgent, since if they were actually these monsters from the start, they'd all have turned out different.

3: price in his prime! he was a real tank, but he grew out of his destructive phase.

4: preening time with gaz <3

early access + nsfw on patreon

#nothing will stop soap from wearing crop tops and low waisted jeans #also i PROMISE i am planning to do a backstory comic at some point showing how price lost his wing #for now just enjoy the fact that for many years he was an absolute menace in the skies #also dragons dont preen like harpies do - they clean themselves in different ways #price learnt how to preen gaz on a mission they had together where gaz was injured and unable to do it himself comfortably #its a tradition now #monster 141 #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #cod mw2 #ghostsoap #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #giragi art

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kittysauce · 7 months

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au where L and Light fall in love during the yotsuba arc ............... i think its a crazy interesting concept

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starheavenly · 23 days

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"Delphi" for Nintendo DS!

I heard this game got scrapped halfway through development.

#AMBULON I LOVE YOUUU #Yes I only made half his body leave me alone #my art #artists on tumblr #maccadam #transformers ambulon #ambulon #MYMTE #low poly #3d model #animation

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sanctus-ingenium · 3 months

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King of Pentacles

#old art from 2022... i never liked how i drew his face so why not cover it up. also featuring the low-cut disco onesie.#setting: inver #pascal psunday for u #artists on tumblr

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nerdpoe · 10 months

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Radioactive Hero (but not really) au

Danny moves to Gotham, hear him out! There's really good jobs there that pay through the nose and the cost of living is cheap!

Plus, the city is riddled with heroes and vilains! It's so easy to slip under the radar!

Unfortunately, there are so many civilian casualties. Like, all the time. Even in Metropolis!

So Danny, for his first year in Gotham, opens small portals to the Far Frozen and gets schooled on being a field medic. None of his powers can really be used for healing, but they can make people feel better. He just has to be careful to be as far removed from the Phantom moniker as possible, so he can't use any obvious powers.

He gets a bit of a reputation in Gotham; a small time hero of the people, for the people. A hero not invested in fighting, but in dragging civilians away from the danger. He doesn't even have a moniker; people are too busy arguing over the best one for him.

So while aliens are attacking both Metropolis and Gotham, Danny is out in full kit; a gas mask to hide his face, all black, repurposed kevlar from the vests the GCPD did not properly dispose of, no identifying markers.

But one of the clean up crews notices something insanely worrying; the geiger counter they have to point at alien spaceship parts? Yeah. Yeah, it's going off when they point it at the new small-time hero.

That hero's power is radioactivity. Holy shit. It's not at a level that will hurt people, but when he's dodging through fighting the level goes up.

The clean up crew concludes and shares via Twitter that the medic-hero is only a danger to others if he gets too stressed.

Word spreads fast, and pretty soon the absolute second Danny shows up on a scene, all fighting stops.

After all, no one wants to piss off the living Nuclear Bomb.

Basically, Danny's ghost-everything sets off Geiger counters, and now absolutely everyone is convinced that the medic-themed hero only refuses to fight because his meta power is just...being radioactive.

But he isn't.

So now, because it's the perfect cover and completely disassociated from Phantom, he has to play along and pretend like yes; that is his power.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #dc x dp #dp x dc #radioactive hero (but not really) au #did i already post this prompt?#genuinely do not remember #whatever #story prompt #justice league low key terrified of his existence #superman keeps trying to talk him into going off and owning a farm #danny just like #“dude i'm a city kid born and raised i ain't shoveling cow shit”

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cowboylikesel · 18 days

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“nobody’s looking at us, evan”