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umwillow · 11 months

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forever young~wally clark

warnings: none just some cutesy cornball

shit

based on the song Forever Young by Alphaville (can you tell i love napoleon dynamite)

———————————————————————————————————————-

wally clark was miserable and lonely in his time stuck at split river high, sure he had charley and rhonda, but he longed for something more than just that reassurance that he had people to confide in. (he wants a fuckbuddy. jk.)

that all had changed when y/n l/n died on november 7th of 1997.

the two became fast friends, and soon enough they were both harbouring feelings for one another but neither of them would admit it, both of their reasonings being the fact that if they ever did have a big falling out, they would be stuck in that same place always having to see eachother. so they both pushed away their feelings and replaced them with jokes and shy smiles, a few lingering touches here and there.

everyone else in the split river high afterlife support group were so over the two constantly avoiding their obvious feelings for eachother, but mr. martin would argue that the ghosts having those types of relations would only add to the already stressful and dramatic environment they were in. (bitch).

right now, in 2014, wally and y/n were wandering the halls of split river high badgering about what movies to pick for this weekends famous movie night.

“no, y/n we are not watching pretty woman again!” wally dramatically flails his arms as he tries to reason with his best friend about their movie choices.

“ok big shot, you wanna go there, i’m not sure i can sit through another minute of Rudy, wally.” y/n counters. “plus, i think julia roberts is an absolute goddess, that deserves to be recognized!”

“i am deeply offended that you would even say this in front of me.” wally feigns distress.

“ok, i have literally said this to you so many times how could it be so different from before, like what do you even get from watching Rudy so many times?” they realize her mistake but it’s too late and wally starts his attack.

“YOU LITERALLY DO THE EXACT SAME THING WITH PRETTY WOMAN LIKE ITS A RITUAL!” he yells with a twinge of “haha nerd you just got floored” in his eyes.

“OK WELL- yeah good point.” she starts to yell back but then notices there was really no point whatsoever arguing with wally.

“how did we even survive before we met each other!” he exclaims.

“we were alive?” she bites with a cackle afterward.

“yeah that makes sense.” he discloses.

“so, should we head to the library and possibly look for new movies that aren’t rom coms or terrible sports movies?” she finally speaks after they took a little break to have a laugh.

“sure, but it’s only because i love ya.”

wally wasn’t aware of how frozen y/n was regarding those words. it was like she wasn’t allowed to move in her own body until her subconscious told her it was time to stop.

“ok sweet let’s go!” she quickly recovered from her weird frozen state.

the rest of the walk was surprisingly silent for both of them.

———————————————————————

the library air was dusty and smelled of mildew and old ladies, as wally refered to the smell of the soap his grandmother used to stock her bathrooms with.

“footloose, nope. grease, seen it 7789927 times before. say anything, love it but not the vibe tonight. dirty dancing, amazing beautiful spectacular, no.” y/n looks through the library’s dvd collection, “oooh what’s this Napoleon Dynamite?”

“here let me look” wally grabs the dvd case, “hm, looks interesting. never seen it, let’s watch it!” he claps.

“by the looks of it i don’t think rhonda will be a big fan.” y/n jokes.

“she’ll have to suck it up because we’ve never seen it, AND now she can’t criticize me because i only ever choose sports movies.” he grins smugly.

“alright, but you’re taking the blame for this one firecracker!” y/n jumps up from her spot on the floor next to the jock and runs toward the big library doors, “last one to get to the gym has to sit next to mr. martin during group tomorrow!!” she yells with an exaggerated look of disgust.

“oh god no, i am not doing this agai- Y/N WAIT YOU KNOW I TWISTED MY ANKLE DURING FIELD DAY STOP THIS MADNESS!” he yells after her but she is long gone.

———————————————————————

the group of dead teens sat on various couch’s and mats throughout the gymnasium, eating popcorn and watching the screen, only, two of the teens sat staring at eachother. one minute wally would look at y/n, and the next y/n would look at wally. he had shared his couch with her for seventeen years and he still finds himself nervous next to her.

what he doesn’t know is that she’s nervous too, and sweating with nerves and stress.

wally finds his hand extremely close to hers and decides to keep it there for good measure. y/ns hand slips a bit closer, and closer until their hands touched and shocked each of them for a moment. they awkwardly looked at eachother but kept their hands together nonetheless.

from across the room, rhonda and charley scoffed at the immature teens who clearly were obsessed with eachother.

“i fuckin love this movie. how is it that it existed all these years and i never knew it was here?” wally confessed.

“me too though, like, it’s so awkward but i love it.” y/n acknowledged.

and that was the last of their conversation for a while.

———————————————————————

time passed on in the movie, and now y/n had fallen asleep on wally and the poor boy didn’t know what to do.

“help me charley. what if she wakes up and instantly recoils or something, i can’t have that!” wally desperately whisper shouts to his friend.

“hate to break it to you bud, but do you really think she would do that when all she does is look at you like you hung the sun the moon and the stars?” charley sasses, knowing he’s right. (charley is such a slay i love him sm.)

“what the fuck do you mean by that?” wally is in disbelief.

“i mean that she loves you unconditionally, big guy.” charley states.

“huh. never picked up on that. SHE WHAT?!” it took a minute for wally to understand what the glasses clad teen meant.

“yup, and i know i’m right so don’t even, in fact, we all know i’m right!” charley declares.

“she looks so peaceful when she sleeps. she’s so pretty. she also smells nice. i’m so whipped.” he admits with a sweet grin.

“that’s gross wally, keep your thoughts to yourself. some of us want to keep this popcorn down.” rhonda speaks her disgust.

“i’m just keepin’ it real!” he waves his arms goofily (he’s so silly goofy quirky goofball).

“mind keeping it real somewhere else? we would like to watch our movie in peace.” rhonda once again expresses her distaste for the situation.

“fine, i’ll be oh so quiet!” wally scoffs.

———————————————————————

the movie soon ended and now both wally and y/n were fast asleep on their couch in the gym, unknowingly tangled with wally laying on her chest and her hands in his hair.

“should we wake them up or leave them be?” whispered charley to an annoyed looking rhonda.

“let’s leave em’, they need this little push.” rhonda has been scheming about getting them together and saving everyone the frustration of having to put up with their awkward bullshit.

“ahhh i see ms. conniving matchmaker.” charley smirks at rhonda and then at the entangled couple in front of them.

they walk out of the gym to give the lovebirds some solitude.

——————————————————————

the first thing y/n hears when she wakes up is wally’s soft snoring .

she opens her eyes to find him laying atop of her chest with his one hand in her hair and the other on her hip, their legs tangled. she has to remind herself to breathe because wally is literally using her boobs as pillows. she decides to just wait it out instead of potentially waking him up if she tries to move.

wally stirs a bit and let’s out a grunt. he cracks an eye open and looks up to the girl he’s been sleeping on and instantly blushes as he realizes what position they’re in.

“sorry, didn’t mean for this to happen.” he says starting to get off of her.

“no, i like it. it’s…comfy.” she smiles nervously.

wally felt a flutter in his stomach and his face heating up.

“oh uh- well i like it too.” he winced as the words came out.

they had a weird moment of silent staring and their faces were like stones, frozen in place.

“i like your moles, they’re cute.” y/n whispered, almost afraid to speak as if she’d scare him off.

“i like your everything.” wally swore he was dreaming.

the next thing they know both of them are slowly moving toward eachother, closer, closer, a bit closer, and there.

their lips touched and it was the most connected either of them had felt to eachother ever. y/n reached for the back of wally’s head to tug at some hair at his nape, while poor wally didn’t know what to do with his hands. taking matters into her own hands, y/n takes wally’s shaking hands in her own, without breaking the sweet kiss, and brings them up toward her waist.

“much better.” she smirks against his lips.

“i love you” wally drops the bomb.

“you- love me?” y/n asks, backing up from his face a little with big eyes laced with softness.

“well yeah i didn’t just say that for shits and giggles.” he scoffs, not without shooting her his signature silly smile.

“wally, i love you too. so much.” she could cry, in fact, there were some tears brewing already.

“great, because it would be really awkward if you said you didn’t.” he jokes a little, being too nervous to look her in the eyes. but his eyes meet hers, and he’s met with tears welling in her beautiful eyes. “hey sweetheart what’s wrong? is this too much?” he strokes her hand with his thumb.

“yes, just kiss me again.” she shakes her head at him.

he wastes no time.

he dove in and they could both feel the emotion that their feelings were real for eachother. wally tasted the salt from her tears but he kept kissing her tears away.

when they pulled away, she pulled him into her embrace and they just sat there, basking in each others presence.

“should we face the others?” y/n asks with a sly grin.

“i don’t know, i mean, if we wanted to be teased and messed with we could’ve just admitted our feelings in front of the others?” wally sasses.

“ok, fair point.”

———————————————————————

i’m really excited to finally be putting this out here

i hope you enjoy!!

xo: willow🫶🏻

#wally clark #wally clark imagines #fluff #fanfic #imagines #reader insert #scenarios #writing

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depoteka · 3 months

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Ooh, I can ask some questions if you're in the mood. I saw your post about wanting to have that on your blog. Anyway, here it is:

1. What movies make you cry each time you watch them?

2. Who is your favorite book heroine and why?

3. A celebrity crush you had as a teenager and what made them appealing to you?

4. Which is your favorite fashion era and why?

5. Is there something you wish you could do, but never had the chance yet?

that's a lot of questions this is so lovely!! thank you!!!!!

to be frank i don't rewatch movies that often so i cannot really say!!! i've probably cried the hardest watching the bridges of madison county some years ago and i don't want to go through that again hhhh. i think when i decide to rewatch something it's always a movie that won't make me cry. my most rewatched movies are probably stand by me, bill & ted's excellent adventure and napoleon dynamite

going through my goodreads i realized that sooo many of my highest rated books have male protagonists, i need to change it. right now i'm reading myra breckinridge by gore vidal and i adore her. her obsession with gold age of hollywood and her personality are so captivating (and of course i've seen the movie so i just picture raquel welch in wonderful outfits while reading which makes the character even more iconic to me)

for some reason the first person that came to my mind was ewan mcgregor. i became obsessed with him after watching star wars prequels. and tbh what was appealing about him (other than his looks obviously which was a major factor) was the fact that he is goofy and not scared of playing in weird movies and just getting all naked in them from time to time. i lost interest when he started picking more mainstream movies and also when he left his wife aadfdf that was the last straw for me

ooof that's a hard one. probably 50s/60s/70s. i adore the patterns, the colours and the way clothes from this era fit on the body. when it comes to more historical things 19th century also had some gorgeous clothes but i'm not that knowledgeable on that, all i know is that early 19th century empire waist dresses are boring to me

not to be a sad loser on main but go on a date 🤧🤧 i refuse to use tinder so that's not happening anytime soon for me. but a girl can dream

#once again thank you so much!! it was fun

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kiwi-tmntfan · 7 months

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Hi! So I just scrolled through your tag for rpwasobt and I wanted to say that I think it's really cool! I love your designs snd I think that the turtles being from Vancouver instead of New York is a really cool twist!

Also, I wanted to ask: What are your turtles favourite movies?

(Sorry if that question has already been asked)

AAAA TY!! I've actually thought about this one before so it'll be pretty easy to answer-

Nardo: He loves Disney and Dreamworks movies. Three that I can think of right now that he likes are The Emperor's New Groove, Turbo, and Robin Hood (the animated one like with the animals) Mikey: Honestly just the High School Musical movies. His favourite is the second one (which is actually Nardo's least favourite) Don: Probably just anything MCU. The first Iron Man and Captain America: The Winter Soldier I'd say are his favourites Raph: A lot of the time when they're all watching a movie together, he will keep rewinding a scene he thinks is really funny (somehow his siblings always forget to make sure he doesn't have the remote-) or he'll just always quote them. Movies he does that with are The War with Grandpa and Napoleon Dynamite. But he also likes Mighty Ducks because, y'know, hockey.

Also yes, Vancouver! I wanted to make them Canadian because I just think that'd make it kinda funny when they meet other iterations. Also because I live near Vancouver and have been there quite a few times, so it would be easier for me to write stuff for them that way. Plus I feel like Vancouver's kinda like New York, so it works like that too I guess

#rpwasobt #rpwasobt nardo #rpwasobt mikey #rpwasobt don #rpwasobt raph #kiwi answers #tmnt iteration #tmnt fan iteration #tmnt au #tmnt

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vincentmatthews · 1 year

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Getting To Know Me~♡

🌱Tagged By:

@timaeusterrored 💕 I live rent-free in their ask box and they allow me to bother them constantly about their characters. I should get the guts to dm them to try and make friends but I'm scared I'll come off as weird so I just live in their questions.

Translation: *BARKBARKBARK*

🌱Favorite Color:

Baby blue, Sunflower yellow, and Neon orange

🌱Currently Reading:

Co-writing/Roleplay -> Humiliation with @crimsonixx We've been keeping that discord channel active since Nov 28, 2021

Book -> I'm Glad My Mom Died. I've heard great things of this book and decided to pick up a copy to read on my road trip this weekend. {Granted I don't get car sick and end up with my face in a plastic bag 90% of the ride.}

Other than that, nothing much, I need to sit down and read You Regret Me. Maybe I'll pick it up this coming weekend so I have something to read while we drive down to Nevada. Even if I have to screencap the pages and read it through my gallery.

🌱Last Song:

{Link}

🌱Last Movie:

I did a double feature which were: Juno {it's become a comfort movie} and Napoleon Dynamite {it's nostalgic}.

🌱Last Series:

I don't know if podcasts count, and if so, then it's gotta be Distractible on Spotify {now with video episodes! :3}

As for TV shows, the last series I watched was the original older episodes of SpongeBob because they were nostalgic as fuck. Like Krusty Krab pizza episode, that's top-tier work right there.

🌱Sweet, Savory, or Spicy?

All, I'm not picky. But Salty and Sweet is amazing~♡ Like a salted caramel~♡ {Do y'all pronounce it as Car-mel? Or like Cara-mel?}

🌱Craving?

A beat up John Wick so I can run him a hot bubble bath, give him face kisses, and cover him in Hello Kitty Band-aids. Also someone get my man two wolves as pets.

🌱Tea or Coffee?

I love a good London Fog~♡ Sadly, I have a more Caffeine lean as of late. And nothing tastes better than a good ol' cuppa joe in the mornin'.

🌱Currently Working On:

Fanfic/Small depressing story -> Summer Rain, which is a sequel to another writing I'm not done with. Summer Rain goes more into Vince losing his sensation of touch and registering the difference between hot and cold. It leads more into why he left in the middle of the night. Which is where my first one picks up.

Fanfic/Requested Story -> I Don't Want To Live Forever. I posted a small WIP section of this before. It's a small ship story for @crimsonixx with their O.C. Jess and Johnny. It's a wholesome story where they drive around NC on her bike late at night, enjoying each other's company. It's one of the times Johnny shows his more sensitive and "human" side.

Fanfic/Special Writing -> Small gift writing between my OC Vinessa/Vinny and another user's OC. I won't give too much away since they don't know I'm writing it. My favorite section so far is Ker screaming at Vinny from the upstairs bedroom window.

I have a whole lot more that I'm working on. I kinda bounce around from writing to writing. 90% of the time they get finished, it just takes a while. The other 10% get locked away and never see the light of day. :3

🌱Random thing about me:

♡I love bees and honey.

♡My favorite comfort game is Slime Rancher and Firewatch💕

♡I'm 5ft 5in. But I wish I was 6ft 1in. I feel short. >:(

♡My favorite type of weather is summer thunder storms

♡My favorite fruit are strawberries and watermelon.

♡I have a jack-shit named Buddy. :3

♡My favorite horror movie is Scream because Matthew Lillard is a babe~♡ {Side note: I'm so excited for FNAF because Matthew's going to be in it x3 It's about time our Scream Daddy was in another horror movie~♡}

♡I've stayed in a haunted hotel before~♡

♡My favorite holidays are Halloween and Christmas 💕

♡My passions are cooking and writing~♡

🌱Tagging:

@crimsonixx and whoever else has seen this, and hasn't already participated, consider yourself tagged💕

#I totally word-vomited everywhere and I'm so sorry.#Ew. I hate reading about myself. Gross #Lizzy screams at a brick wall #GTKM tag game #Get to know me #get to know the admin #tag game

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whumpupthejam · 1 year

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“He’s Out There” - Character Intros + picrews

ALRIGHT. I was gonna wait until I’d posted more writing of these characters, especially because I haven’t even introduced most of them yet 🤪

But I’m really excited abt these and I’m taking too long on the next pieces, so you’ll just get to know them a little now!

If you have any questions about them, or wanna see snippets/drabbles featuring any of them, my asks are open and I would kiss you on the mouth <3 (open to non-canon compliant asks/requests).

I’ll start with the precious boy we all know and love and want to see destroyed:

Marcus~

Extras:

Full name: Marcus Pearce

Age: 22

Height: 5’10”

Mbti/enneagram: INFJ/4w5

Birthday: June 7

Actual favorite film (the picrew gave limited choices): Star Wars Ep. V

Primary Role: Whumpee

Fun fact: Marcus plays the violin and is first chair/soloist for his college’s symphony….or he was. :(

Also, he doesn’t really have a hand tat, I just thought it fit his aesthetic for the picrew, and he DOES have a half sleeve on his right forearm (easily covered by a tux when performing).

Caleb ~

Extras:

Full name: Caleb Levi

Age: 22

Height: 6’2”

Mbti/enneagram: ENTP/8w7

Birthday: April 25

Orientation: Bisexual/Aromantic

Actual favorite film: Best in Show

Fun fact: He is a criminal justice major with a minor in behavioral psychology. He’s basically super scary and super smart. Many find him intimidating, but once you get to know him a little bit, it’s easy to see he’s a big goofball teddy bear angel.

Caleb has been Marcus’s best friend since they were kids living in the same neighborhood. There’s nothing. Nothing Caleb wouldn’t do for Marcus.

Jake ~

Extras:

Full name: Jacob Settler

Age: 23

Height: 6’0”

Mbti/enneagram: ESFP/6w7

Birthday: March 2

Actual favorite film: He doesn’t watch many actual movies. He’s more of a TV show guy. Faves are Arrested Development and Downton Abbey (he used to hide this fact, but when he got to college he decided, what the hell! so he’s got refined tastes, sue him!). He also loves Napoleon Dynamite.

Primary role: Whumpee

Fun fact: He has two sisters, one older, one younger. Ever since his dad died tragically, he’s taken all the emotional responsibilities of father onto himself. His mom wishes he wouldn’t, but he feels guilt over his dad’s death. He tries to use humor to throw people off from the fact that he’s incredibly self critical and struggles with his mental health. He’s been feeling a little better since meeting Marcus and Caleb, but he’s in a pit he can’t seem to get out of. Really fun fact, right??

Elena ~

Extras:

Full name: Elena Sherwin

Age: 22

Height: 5’7”

Mbti/enneagram: ENFP/4w3

Birthday: October 19

Actual favorite film: Pan’s Labyrinth

Primary role: Caretaker

Fun fact: She has a beautiful singing voice. She hopes to be a film actress someday, but she’d also love to get to sing for the rest of her life.

The Man (+name reveal..?) ~

Extras:

Full name: Daniel Stane (alias?), (Other known aliases: Daniel Goran, John Landry, Elliot Golfinder, Barrett Cork).

Age: 51

Height: 6’1”

Mbti/enneagram: INFP/6w5

Birthday: February 5

Actual favorite film: *sigh.* It’s Pride and Prejudice (1995). Look I’m not happy about it either, but it’s true.

Primary role: Whumper

Fun fact: He has a cat. His name is Marcus—no I’m kidding, lol. The cat is very sweet. He doesn’t have a name.

p.s. while this picrew is ridiculously adorable, it portrays one body type. So just for the record! Marcus actually is a fairly skinny boy, Caleb and the Man are both reasonably buff, Jake is as well, but less so than they are, and Elena is mid-plus sized. <3

#character intro #my ocs #caleb oc #jake oc #elena oc #marcus oc #the man oc #daniel oc #the man/daniel #picrew #he’s out there #he’s out there characters

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fuckyeahjasonschwartzman · 1 year

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last week of jasonuary, day 1

welcome to my attempt to watch and post a short form review of a jason schwartzman movie for every day until february.

today's (re)watch was I Heart Huckabees

I think I first watched this movie about a year ago. I'd failed to finish it about three times before finally sitting through it but at this point I can definitively say it's one of my favorite movies of all time. I have a giant ihh poster on my wall right now as I write this

strongest points: plot, characters, dialogue, themes, music, visuals

weakest points: keeping me fully engaged lol. I have to be all on board before I get into this one or I won't finish it

highlights: jon brion's score hits hard. I listen to it on my own constantly. before I dropped out of college it was like the only music I ever listened to. visuals are awesome, the color symbolism and effects are what really stand out to me as someone who loves weird weird imagery in a movie set in reality.

I really do think IHH is really well written and I enjoy revisiting it every few months to pick up on something new each time. the themes of connection and chaos basically hold up the entire story rather than the story creating the themes, and I could probably go on for hours about all the little quirks and extra details I've noticed over the months. other than that, this movie is just fucking weird. it's been listed alongside films like napoleon dynamite as being a piece of media with no defined demographic- so, basically, there is no way to predict if any given person will like it or not. that fucks, especially for IHH. it's just crazy, but the craziness is handled with such a nonchalant nuance that you almost forget how bizarre everything is until suddenly jude law is breastfeeding jason schwartzman.

the jason schwartzman parts: I like albert markovski a lot as a character, and jschwartz does a solid job. I don't really have a lot to say about him specifically cause this whole movie is great in general. I have yet to listen to the podcast episode where he discussed david o. russell (who I already know sucks) but it's on my list of things to do while I'm on break.

I have written more complex analyses on this movie but this is only a snapshot review so take that as you will.

overall: 5/5 stars. this movie fucks.

#jason schwartzman #i heart huckabees #also worth mentioning that ihh is REALLY funny for how overdramatic the pettiness of it all is

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gregarnott · 6 months

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Napoleon Dynamite Lines:

❛ i spent the summer with my uncle in alaska hunting wolverines. ❜

❛ can you bring me my chapstick ? my lips hurt real bad ! ❜

❛ ugh , idiot ! ❜

❛ this one gang kept wanting me to join 'cuz i'm pretty good with a bow staff. ❜

❛ don't be jealous that i've been chatting online with babes all day. ❜

❛ maybe you'd be interested in some home - woven handicrafts. ❜

❛ your MOM goes to college ! ❜

❛ [ name ] , you fat lard ; come get some dinner ! ❜

❛ break the wrist and walk away. break the wrist , walk away. ❜

❛ you need somebody watching your back at all times ! ❜

❛ so me and you are pretty much friends by now , right ? ❜

❛ how long did it take you to grow that mustache ? ❜

❛ are you gonna eat your tots ? can i have 'em ? ❜

❛ i see you're drinking 1%. is that 'cuz you think you're fat ? ❜

❛ what the flip was grandma doing at the sand dunes ? ❜

❛ i'm just getting really just kinda TO'd. ❜

❛ i'm drawing a liger. it's pretty much my favorite animal. it's like a lion and a tiger mixed. bred for its skills in magic. ❜

❛ you can borrow my van for the time being. i do better on foot anyway. ❜

❛ imagine you're weightless. you're in the middle of the ocean surrounded by tiny seahorses. ❜

❛ do the chickens have large talons ? ❜

❛ took me like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. ❜

❛ can't you just take me and then drop me off when you're done or whatever ? ❜

❛ are you guys having a killer time ? ❜

❛ well , you have a sweet bike. and you're really good at hookin' up with chicks. ❜

❛ it's a time machine. he bought it online. ❜

❛ this tastes like the cow got into an onion patch. ❜

❛ you don't feel like your head is burning or anything ? ❜

❛ sorry , we're just running a little late for some prime rib. ❜

❛ i'm calling to let you know i think you're a shallow friend. ❜

❛ she says she doesn't want you here when she gets back 'cuz you've been ruining everyones lives and eating all our steak. ❜

❛ if you vote for me , all of your wildest dreams will come true. ❜

❛ i caught you a delicious bass. ❜

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motownfiction · 1 year

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when in rome

Emma has pretty strong feelings about all her parents’ friends. She’s so close to Sadie that when people ask who her best friend is, she doesn’t hesitate to give her name. She has a pretty big resentment for Charlie (while also being thankful for him). She loves Carrie and wishes things could be different for her … for all of them. And when Sam was here, she loved him dearly … really believed that one day, he would jump up and grab the moon. Better than George Bailey. But of all Mom and Daddy’s friends, maybe the funniest is Steph.

For many years, Emma didn’t really know who Steph Armstrong was. She heard her name kind of a lot when her parents told stories about growing up in Catholic school, and she saw a few pictures around the house and around the Doyles’ place. But it wasn’t until around the time Veronica was born that Steph started to come around in their lives more often … often enough so that she really became Mom and Daddy’s friend again. In the process, she became Emma’s friend, too.

She thinks maybe she won’t ever quite forgive Mom and Daddy for letting Steph slip through the cracks for so long. Steph is amazing. She’s one of the hardest-working people Emma has ever even heard of, much less known personally, and her fashion sense is unparalleled. Steph is a painter by trade, but she’s in love with art no matter how it comes to her. Whenever they visit her on a trip to Detroit, Steph insists on watching at least one movie in her den with Emma. Tonight, that’s exactly what they’re doing.

It’s January 3, their last night before they have to head back to New York. Yesterday was sad (the seventh anniversary of Sam’s funeral), but today is all about celebrating the time they have together. Tonight, that means watching a movie with Steph. And tonight, Steph wants to watch Napoleon Dynamite.

“I love hearing Emma’s opinions,” she says as she pops a bunch of popcorn in the microwave. “She’s like a little Roger Ebert, but without the glasses.”

“Glasses are on the way,” Daddy adds. “We took her to the eye doctor after she couldn’t read the notes her English teacher put up on the overhead projector.”

“I can’t believe we pay all that money for a school that still uses overhead projectors,” Mom says. “Is it not 2010?”

“It’s been 2010 for like three days,” Emma says. “Everyone knows 2009 was a different ball game.”

“Well, glasses or not, your baby girl watches movies better than any grown-up I’ve ever known,” Steph says. “You’ve seen this one, haven’t you, Emma?”

“Of course I have,” Emma says. “Mom and I must have seen it in the theater like five times before I started fourth grade. I think we’re the ones who made it a trend.”

Steph smiles at Mom.

“Dr. Callaghan!” she says. “I didn’t know you liked movies about nerds.”

“I’m a professional nerd, Steph,” Mom says. “Of course I do.”

“Well, then,” Steph says as she hits PLAY on the DVD remote. “Even better.”

The movie is, as always, a good time. Emma remembers Christmas in fourth grade, when Mom and Daddy got her that green shirt that said, “Napoleon, don’t be jealous that I’ve been chatting online with babes all day.” She remembers how Daddy almost cried thinking about how much Sam would have loved watching the movie. She looks over at him now to see if he’s still feeling that way. Thank God he’s smiling.

At the end of the movie, Napoleon and Deb are playing tetherball, and Steph is weepy in her La-Z-Boy. Katie, at the other end of the den, tells her to toughen up. But Steph doesn’t listen. She moves her head in time with the last song in the soundtrack – “The Promise” by When in Rome.

“Oh, I love this one,” Steph says. “I’m sweepin’ up, I’m sweepin’ up the right words to say.”

Everyone in the room holds back a laugh, even Emma. Steph looks around with a furrowed brow.

“What?” she asks. “What did I get wrong this time?”

“Oh, honey,” Katie says. “It’s just … of all the songs to get wrong, you really did have to pick the one that talks about knowing the right words to say.”

“Well, what are the right words? That way, I can go ahead and say them.”

Katie looks over at Emma.

“Emma?” she says. “If you know the words, why don’t you take this one?”

“Me?” Emma asks. “Why should it be me?”

“Because you don’t have to live with her.”

Emma sighs. She looks at Steph and braces for impact, whatever that impact may be.

“Steph,” she says. “The words are ‘I’m sorry, but I’m just thinking of the right words to say.’”

Steph turns a little pink and doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. Then she throws her head back and laughs – really, truly laughs. Emma breathes a long sigh. And to think, she wasn’t sure what was about to happen there.

“Well!” Steph says. “At least now I know what I’ll quote when I fuck up another song.”

She makes herself laugh a little more, and Emma laughs, too. She doesn’t know anybody else like Steph … nobody else with such a great sense of humor about themselves, nobody else who respects themselves while also refusing to take life too seriously. She must know something the rest of everybody in the world can’t find.

But dammit, Emma thinks, she’s going to learn it, too.

#drabble #writeblr #food #ch: emma o'connor #ch: steph armstrong #ch: will o'connor #ch: lucy callaghan #ch: katie sheehan #year: 2010 #asks #kalonkakons #thank you!

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darker-soft-starker · 4 years

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Starker High School AU, Pt. 4 (Pt.1, Pt.2, Pt.3, Pt.5)

---

The last bell of the day sounds and Peter doesn’t know if he’s thankful or reproachful.

On one hand, no more classes.

On the other: giving up an afternoon of Robotics to spend time with the modern embodiment of the antichrist.

To add insult to injury, it had been one of those long, arduous days that never seemed to end. The hours stretched themselves into impossibly bloated milliseconds as he watched the clock - and it still wasn’t over.

Dread filled him in anticipation of the afternoon and before first period he accidentally smacked himself in the forehead trying to get his locker open. It hurt and he was sure it would bruise. But if he was looking for sympathy, there was none to be found. Bucky and Nat weren’t speaking and in result their friends seemed wary and divided amongst themselves.

It made for a rather awkward day.

His efforts to be neutral ground and to bridge the gap were met with vexation and were brushed off, so he ate lunch alone again in the library Bucky and Nat were fiery and fiercely independent, so not unexpected, but it was in his nature to want to mend the rift.

Ben used to tell him not everything was up to Peter to fix.

Easy for him to say.

Nonetheless he does his best to keep that notion in mind as he goes through the day, but everything seems off kilter. No one is talking to each other, he was so busy and caught up with all of the internal discord and schoolwork that he hadn’t eaten since breakfast.

And May was acting super weird this morning.

Worry gnawed at him in a way that had him forgetting about eating, whether it was about May and Thursday’s match, about the giant pimple that bloomed on his chin overnight -- or whatever inevitable torment that Stark had cooked up for them this afternoon.

It’s still a few minutes before they’re due to meet but Peter isn’t dragging his feet.

He isn’t.

Sure, the hallways are vacant of any other students.

And maybe he is feeling just a little petty for the time Tony kept him waiting despite his own plea not to -- besides, he still has a couple of minutes before he’s due, he’s not going to turn up early for goodness sake, as much as the part of him that says if you’re not early you’re late begs him to quicken his footsteps.

Maybe he does stretch it to the last minute just to see Tony looking frustrated by his vintage ‘69 Mustang, the line of his mouth unmistakably displeased as the cars in the lot around him gradually disperse.

He knows the moment that Tony notices him, leant against his car, sunglasses slipping down his nose to properly glower at him.

“This is why you’re an asshole,” Tony points a finger at him as he arrives. “I should leave you here.”

“Sorry,” Peter apologises airily, “I was trying to be anywhere but here. I’m not late though, so?”

Tony rounds the car to the drivers side, still pointing at Peter. “Don’t push your luck, Parker. Get in.”

Snickering quietly to himself, Peter heads to the other side.

The engine growls loudly, a deep rumbling that goes through Peter’s entire body. Buckling himself in quickly, he peers around curiously while Tony reverses out of the lot. He’s reluctantly surprised. For an old car that belongs to a teenager behind at least two school fires it’s in impeccable condition.

“Nice car,” he says quietly, mostly to himself as his gaze roams the interior with interest.

It’s difficult to associate Tony Stark with the words nice or neat even, but that’s exactly what the car is. The interior is unscuffed, squeaky clean, the leather seats are comfortable, not a sprinkle of cigarette ash to be seen.

It really is spectacular - when the engine roars and the seats vibrate under him, Peter gets a sense of wonder and curiosity, like that one time he fell in love with DeLoreans after watching Back To The Future with Ben.

Curious, he opens the glove compartment and finds a generous stash of snacks and chocolate bars inside.

“Don’t touch anything,” Tony scowls, smacking Peter’s hands from the dash. “That’s rule number one. The interior is original and my girl is sensitive to your residue.”

Residue, he scoffs, tempted to reach out and touch more just to be contrarian.

“You got a sweet tooth or somethin’?” Peter asks instead, gesturing to the glove compartment.

“No.”

“Can I have some?”

“No.”

“Are you gonna say anything else to me on this trip?”

“No,” Tony smiles sardonically, turning up the radio louder until the riffs of Queen’s Somebody To Love drown them both out.

True to his word, Tony remains silent over the course of the drive. It suits Peter fine, it’s not a quiet that is uncomfortable or awkward, not with the radio playing loudly from an oldies station, the wind whistling through the windows and the echoes of traffic around them.

He thought it might be a stiff and uncomfortable drive, however the longer nothing goes unsaid between them, the more Peter feels himself relax in his chair, warmed by the heater and his limbs loosening until they feel boneless after the day he’s had.

And to his credit, Tony doesn’t appear overly tense or uneasy in having Peter in his space - in fact, he looks as chilled out as Peter has ever seen him.

The perpetual strain around his jaw and shoulders seems eased, his posture open and casual as he drives with one hand, shifting gears with the other, sometimes tapping out a tune on the steering wheel. And whenever a song he particularly likes comes on the radio he turns up the volume, and if Peter looks over at the right moment he sees him smile privately to himself, a pleased little quirk of his lips.

Sometimes Tony speeds and puts his fingers out the window to card them through the wind, and his smile grows.

Although the amicable vibe has little to do with him, it’s probably the first time that they’ve spent more than five minutes together without hurling insults at each other.

It’s weird.

Too wary of shattering the peace, Peter doesn’t mention it.

By the time they’re on the Queensboro Bridge the Eurythmics are playing one of May’s favorite songs. Without realising he’s doing it, he’s bobbing his head along to the tune, whispering the words under his breath, suddenly reminded of dancing in the kitchen with her and Ben, nine years old, using wooden spoons as microphones.

He’s smiling before he can stop himself, head tilted back against the seat, eyes unfocused on the skyline. It smells like Tony’s cologne and engine oil, like being enveloped in an old memory. He can see Tony looking at him from the corner of his eye but neither of them say anything.

The volume is turned up.

---

They arrive at the realtor with just minutes to spare before their appointment is due to commence.

The traffic had built incrementally during the drive to Long Island City, the roads becoming more congested as they went. The tension in Tony’s shoulders returned as the minutes ticked closer to four-thirty, his tapping on the steering wheel out of impatience rather than good-cheer.

Peter actually does feel a little bad now.

Not that the five minutes he could’ve spared would have made much of a difference, but still, guilt whispers vehemently.

It’s for that reason that he politely doesn’t say anything that could be perceived as inflammatory when Tony pockets his sunglasses and buttons up his dress shirt, checking his reflection in the rear-view mirror. Even if he’s dying to tell him that he looks like a damn nerd.

Not that he can talk.

Heeding Tony’s words, he’d dressed similarly in his okay-est pair of jeans, a clean shirt and a cardigan. In class, MJ laughed and told him he looked like Napoleon Dynamite.

They head in, a bell above the door signalling their arrival. It’s a chain realtor, not the one they rent their apartment through, but Peter thinks there is an office right near his building. Inside, a middle-aged woman at the front desk greets them.

“Uh... we have an appointment with Kate Price” Tony gestures between them. “Appointment for Tony Stark?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the woman apologises in a heavily Welsh accent, “you should have gotten a notification, she’s unwell and taken the day off.”

“Oh, um --”

“That’s okay though, I’m free, I can help you if you’d like.”

“Are you sure?” Peter queries, sharing a look with Tony who appears just as uncertain. “We’d really appreciate it.”

“Absolutely. It’s quiet anyhow. Come,” she beckons them down a narrow hallway to a set of cubicles and L-shaped desks. There doesn’t seem to be anybody else in the office, he notes, as the two are directed to sit before a desk while the woman types away at a computer.

“I’m Miranda,” she introduces herself, holding out her hand for both of them to shake. “The appointment notes say you’re after a nearby rental?”

“Sort of, we’re just looking at some pricing. Nothing serious, we just need to take some notes, get a feel for it.”

Miranda’s glasses slide down her nose as she observes them.

“You’re a wee bit young to be moving out of home, aren’t you?”

“Oh! No,” Peter stutters, waving his hands, “we’re not actually --”

Miranda waves at him dismissively.

“Not that I can judge. My husband and I were living together and married by nineteen, ‘course he’s dead now. We had a good run though. Anyway, good for you. Young love, it’s so sweet.”

“Young what,” Peter says.

Miranda, typing away cheerily at her computer, clearly didn’t get the memo about the school project like Kate must have.

Peter turns to Tony, who is just as wide-eyed as he is.

What the fuck, he mouths, slinking down in his chair.

I don’t know, Tony mouths back, stupefied.

“So, what are we thinking - a studio if it’s just the two of you? Something cozy?”

“Uh, well, we’re looking to grow,” Tony says, hand slapped over his mouth. He shares a bewildered, wide-eyed stare with Peter.

“Right, well, nothing wrong with knowing what you want. What’s the budget? Let me see what I can find for you.”

“Ah,” Peter shifts in his seat, trying to communicate wordlessly with Tony as their research angle quickly becomes derailed.

He tries to communicate the need for an urgent exit in a stare that he hopes is prolonged and meaningful, but is only met with equally panicked blinking from the other boy. There’s a moment spent blinking undecipherable messages at each other and before he knows it the silence has stretched on far too long.

“Well, we were thinking sixteen-hundred a month. Right... Tony?”

“Right,” he nods slowly, eyes darting between the two. “Single income, see. Parker - uh, Peter is still in school.”

“Oh, bless,” she says spiritedly, typing away at her keyboard. “It’s not easy, I know, been there. What do you do for work, young man?”

“Me?” Tony asks, gesturing to himself, shooting Peter a desperate look. “I’m... a mechanic...apprentice.”

Peter has to disguise his snort with a cough, the horse so far out of the gate there is no catching up to it.

“Good for you, darling,” she says distractedly as she busies herself with the monitor, missing the heated glare Tony sends him. “Let’s see, might be tight, but we may have something for you. One bed, one bath, a living room that can be converted to a second bedroom.”

“Great,” Peter nods hesitantly. “Where?”

“Across the street, actually,” she swivels the monitor on its stand to show them a set of blurry photos of a small apartment. “And it’s currently vacant - we can do an inspection right now, if you’d like?”

There’s a pregnant pause.

“One moment,” Tony smiles at her, holding up a finger.

There’s a screech as Tony pulls Peter’s chair across the linoleum with a single hand.

“This is getting out of hand,” Peter whisper-hisses, ducking his head.

“I know, I know, I know,” Tony squeezes his eyes shut, making placating motions with his hands that do little to appease Peter’s rising apprehension. “It’s alright, it’s under control. Listen, hear me out, we go to the inspection, have a look at the place --”

“You can’t be serious, dude, we’re sixteen.”

“We’re not going to actually fill out an application, numbnuts, listen; we go, we take some pictures, get some details about the property, add it to our report and bam, who needs a reference? Think about it! Who else is going to have this level of detail in their report?”

“I’m not exactly sure this is what Miss Ahn meant by field research.”

Tony pokes him in the forehead.

“Think outside the box, precious. Rise above the urge to do the bare minimum and we might just get a good grade.”

Peter sneaks a glance at Miranda. “Fine,” he pokes Tony back in the chest. “But you do all the talking, smartass.”

“Fine with me.”

“Good.”

“Great.”

Tony turns back to Miranda and offers her a charming smile.

“We’d love to. Lead the way.”

---

They door sticks when Miranda turns the key into the dead-lock.

She struggles with it momentarily, smiling assuredly at the two boys as she twists the doorknob back and forth, pressing her shoulder against the peeling wood, forcing it open with a bang.

“Here we are,” Miranda announces brightly.

The two follow her inside, sharing a reluctant look with each other as she leads them into what must be a living room, the click-clack of her heels echoing off the scuffed floorboards and bare walls.

The first thing that Peter notices is that the room, while void of furniture, seems impossibly small, even by New York standards.

With the three of them spread thinly throughout it, there are but a few inches of space between them. Barely any room for a couple of armchairs, let alone a full sofa or a coffee table.

At a glance, he takes stock of the cracks in the ceiling, the discoloured patches in the plaster and the splintered wood of the front door frame where it appears it has been forced open from the outside. The chain-lock is broken.

Tony is over by the far corner, wiping a finger through a layer of dust on the window sill.

There’s a loud bang from upstairs.

“So, this is the living area,” Miranda says with a flourish of her wrists. “And if you follow me, this down here,” she leads them around the corner, “is the kitchen.”

The kitchen is comprised of a small formica bench, a stained backsplash and several cupboards missing their handles.

While Miranda continues to point out and inform them all of the ‘cosy’ and ‘quaint’ features, Tony slips his phone from his pocket and with a nod of acceptance, lingers back a few steps to take photographs of the apartment.

While he’s doing so, Peter busies himself by inspecting the kitchen, toying with the dials of the oven and the two-burner stove top, testing the swing of the cupboard doors.

Inside one of them is a dirty tea-cup and a dead cockroach.

“-- and as you can see, plenty of room for a dining table, maybe you might like to have friends over --”

He follows them into the bathroom, which is just as compact as the rest of the apartment. He tests the faucet, noting that the tiles are cracked, as is the bathtub.

Most worryingly are the speckled spots of black spores along the higher walls and the ceiling.

“-- it’s a big old tub, plenty of room,” she pats Tony on the stomach, “could fit two in a squeeze if you suck it in, aye? Now, this way please boys, let me show you the pièce de résistance --”

Tony guards his stomach with his hands, pouting as Miranda leads them to the adjacent room.

“This is the main bedroom,” she beams, flicking on the light. “Perfect, isn’t it?”

The two young men stall in the doorway, peering inside.

The space, probably equipped to handle a solitary king-single and a drawer at best, isn’t particularly generous by any means. The flickering bright yellow globe seems to only highlight the blistering wallpaper and the suspiciously stained carpet.

It smells like weed and cat pee.

“So as you can see, plenty of privacy for you two, the living room can be converted into a second bedroom if need be -- or if one of you needs to sleep on the couch,” she winks at them.

“Right,” Tony says slowly, nudging the other with his elbow. “What do you think...honey?”

“I don’t know, dear,” Peter says, elbowing him back. “What do you think?”

“I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.”

“Bless,” Miranda cuts in, leaning on the doorframe while she observes them. “You’re just adorable, you must be high-school sweethearts.”

There’s a beat of silence.

“...Y-Yes,” Tony says after a moment, voice croaky. His hand snakes out to awkwardly pat Peter on the shoulder. “...we are.”

“So, what do you think?”

“About him?” Tony points to Peter.

“About the apartment,” she laughs. “What do you think, do you like it?”

“Oh, um, I have a few questions actually,” Peter mentions, following them back into the kitchen area, ignoring the odd look that Tony sends him. “If that’s okay?”

What are you doing, Tony mouths, back turned to the realtor as he clears his throat.

Peter holds a finger up to request a minute. There’s a struggle to each convey their message silently, however, Tony reluctantly concedes, spreading his hands wide in a theatrical approval to proceed.

He paces the room, shuffling at the bubbling linoleum that he’d narrowly tripped on coming in, bending down to inspect it.

“Do you know how long the apartment’s been vacant?” He directs his question to the realtor.

“Oh, not long,” she replies vaguely, flipping through her file. “Couple of days or weeks, I think. I’d have to check.”

Peter nods, glancing between the three, standing.

“Umm, I noticed that the oven doesn’t heat up. I thought that maybe the gas was turned off but the stove works? Also, um, in the living room there’s a section of floorboard that’s rotting with because there’s a water leak from the ceiling?”

Miranda’s smile freezes. “Oh, is there? That must be new.”

Peter wrings his hands together, glancing at Tony, stomach swooping at his own boldness. “And, uh, I noticed that the windows stick; the water pressure is funny, too?”

“I can get that checked --”

“There’s black mold in some of the rooms. I think because there isn’t temperature control, the windows are west-facing, so it must get pretty humid in the summer.”

Peter looks to the other boy in what he hopes seems heartfelt. “I don’t mind, I only mention it because Tony’s... well, he’s got asthma.”

Tony coughs, catching on.

“Yes, that’s right.”

Miranda’s posture crumples at that, her professional veneer instantly wiped from her face.

“You’re right, this place is a dump,” she admits, kicking at the floor, spreading her arms out wide. “Look at it, it’s vile. I wouldn’t let my wretched old mother-in-law live here, the old bag. I’m sorry, boys.”

“Well, actually,” Peter says, gesturing between himself and Tony, stepping closer to him. “We’d be happy to do all the repairs and look the other way about the safety violations if there’s any wriggle room on the rent?”

Miranda flicks through the papers she’s holding, adjusting her glasses as she reads through it. The adjacent neighbors can be heard yelling through the thin walls.

“We do have a margin to drop it from sixteen-fifty to... fifteen-hundred a month for the right tenants. Not going to lie, the landlord is pretty desperate. Would you like an application?”

Tony clamps his hand on Peter’s shoulder, squeezing it. “We’ll think about it. Could we get all of those terms in writing, pretty please?”

Peter grins.

---

“I can’t tell if that was genius or crazy,” Tony says after they’ve departed ways with Miranda, headed back towards the Mustang on the other side of the road. “Seriously can’t say I expected that.”

The pair jog across the road once there is a gap in traffic.

After Ben passed, Peter and May moved twice. As a young child Peter saw another apartment as just that - another place to set down his duffle of second-hand clothes and thrift store toys. But May was smart. Savvy. She calls it the Parker Discount.

Peter shrugs when they reach the car.

“Well, just because our report is meant to focus on budget against costs, doesn’t mean we can’t find ways to save money and maximise it. Not when you consider insurance, bills, food. It all adds up.”

“I’m still trying to pick my jaw up from the floor. Didn’t know you had that in you, Parker.”

“Yeah well, you don’t know anything about me,” Peter says to the ground, kicking at the pavement, “so.”

He tries not to squirm under the weight of Tony’s considering gaze, like a vice tight on the back of his neck. He feels the moment something shifts, as if a pin pricks the wall between them, easier to breathe.

“Look, whatever you think about me, I don’t care, but you probably couldn’t find a better partner for this project. I know more about this than you do.”

“Alright, no need to crow about it, I just said I was impressed. Don’t let it get to your head.”

Peter’s stomach growls loudly over the evening traffic before he can respond.

“Sorry,” he says, cursing the timing of his body, “haven’t had anything since breakfast.”

Tony nods to a diner across the road.

“You wanna?”

“Oh,” he objects, worried about his bone-dry bank balance, “I’m not --”

“C’mon, dickweed, my treat. Don’t leave a guy hanging, it’s not polite.”

Tony waits patiently, crossing his arms over his chest. He’s sure it’s a look that many have fallen for. A crooked, wry smile and a self-confident air that one might confuse between charm and indolence.

He feels out of his depth for once, and isn’t sure if he likes it. But his stomach growls again and he’s got nothing to lose except for his appetite.

“Okay,” he says, nodding. “Sure.”

---

It’s the most surreal experience he’s ever had.

He pinches himself to believe that it’s real, that he’s dining out on a Tuesday evening in the boroughs with Tony Stark. The same guy he thought might murder him just last week.

He’s still not so sure that’s out of the question, to be honest. It would be the most normal thing about this entire day.

The silence is definitely awkward this time, sat at a table outside under a weather-protective canvass while they wait for their meal. A woman with a large doberman sits nearby, giving them odd looks every so often as she speaks loudly on her phone.

Peter’s nursing a giant glass of cola. The only sounds between them since they ordered have been the clinking of ice cubes from his glass and the sound of bubbles as he blew through the straw for a lack of better things to do.

From the daggers he’s getting from Tony, he’d wage that he’s annoying him - hence the probable murder - but he’s spared by their waitress returning with their meals.

A truly monstrous pile of fries is placed before Tony, along with a burger, a sundae and a milkshake. He takes off his dress shirt to reveal a black undershirt, as if in preparation to sweat through the meal.

Big meal for a big mouth, Peter thinks, as his own BLT is set before him.

It’s weird.

Tony is weird.

This whole damn thing is weird.

“Don’t you think this is weird?” he asks, idly picking a seed from his crust and nibbling on it.

“Yeah,” Tony sighs.

“I don’t like it.”

“Me neither. What was I thinking?”

“Dunno,” Peter says.

It’s quiet again after that. And it’s weird. Sitting down with over a civil meal with Stark or any of his cohorts wasn’t particularly on his bucket list for junior year, but here he was, picking at his crusts, dying to pee.

Tony takes three fries from the pile and dips them into his sundae, then the milkshake before eating them.

“Dude, gross.”

Tony looks at him oddly. “Uh, no it’s not. Have you never dipped your fries in ice cream before?”

“Is that a metaphor for sex?”

“What? No, you weirdo,” Tony shakes his head. “Are you serious? You’ve never -- god, that explains everything,” he slides his fries across the table a few inches. “Though it truly nauseates me to share with you, I can’t let this stand. Try it.”

“Ew, not after you’ve touched them --”

Tony slides his milkshake closer.

“Try it, butthole. You won’t totally hate it, promise. Well, you might, but if you do it’s just gonna confirm that your taste is garbage, which is what I already think about you. Anyway. C’mon, try it.”

Peter, while staring at Tony, begrudgingly accepting a fry from the peak of the pile and scooping it in ice cream from Tony’s sundae.

He waits for the moment the combination of textures will make his stomach turn while he hesitantly chews, but instead is pleasantly surprised that the sweet salty flavours compliment one another so well.

“Not the worst, is it?” Tony grins knowingly, placing another fry in his mouth in the same manner. “I’m right, aren’t I? It’s good. Say it. I’m right.”

“It’s alright,” Peter says, stealing another fry to make sure. “Don’t let it go to your already inflated cranium.”

The self-satisfied smirk on Tony’s lips tells him it already has.

Quiet fills the space between them again, more charged than before in a manner that Peter can’t really describe. Like as if there was a soft buzz in the air, like he would get be struck with static electricity were he to touch it.

Not keen on getting stung, he continues eating his sandwich.

Tony on the other hand, has other ideas.

“So, Peter Parker, now that I know you’re not a total dumbass, tell me this,” he takes a deep breath, his expression grim, “ -- do you wear glasses for the aesthetic or what?”

Peter stares at him.

“C’mon. Are you aiming for nerd chic? You shouldn’t, it’s very 2012.”

“Dude, no. I know glasses are like a thing or whatever but I actually do need them to see. I’m like, blind as fuck.”

“How blind is blind as fuck?”

“Pretty blind.”

He takes off his glasses and twirls a finger in the direction the smudge of colour that he assumes is Tony.

“Can’t see you, like at all,” he squints. “You’re just a blur. Which is the best you’ve ever looked.”

Tony takes the glasses from his outstretched hand, and he has a hysterical moment where he thinks that Tony might go so low as to steal them, but is quickly realizes he’s just trying them on. He whistles before handing them back to Peter.

“Yup, those are prescription alright. The fuck? Why don’t you wear contacts?”

Peter shrugs, slipping his glasses back on. Stark comes back in perfect clarity.

“They’re super expensive,” he’s alright with admitting to Tony at this point. “I have some I use for matches, or for special occasions, but I dunno, I’m used to glasses.”

“Do you have to clean them all the time?”

“Yes.”

In fact, there’s smudge from where Tony has inadvertently touched the lens.

“Have you ever stepped on your glasses accidentally?”

“Yep.”

He’s done it more than once but he’ll never forget the first time, how upset he was in the moment or how he fruitlessly tried to hide his face from Ben and May so they wouldn’t see the cracks in the lenses. He cried when they found out.

That first time was just weeks after his parents had died, and he’d already been laden with thoughts of being a bother and a financial burden on the couple. They never stopped trying to prove that he wasn’t a hardship to care for. Sometimes, on mornings like the one he had, he still can’t help but wonder how much better off they might have been without him.

They eat in contemplative silence afterwards. While he finishes his sandwich he watches as Tony surreptitiously feeds his fries to the doberman under the table, unbeknownst to the owner. He has to eat quickly to conceal the smile taking over his lips when the dog slowly shuffles closer to their table with purpose, looking at Tony with big, soulful eyes.

Once he’s finished eating and there’s nothing left to hide his amusement, he resumes their conversation.

Clearing his throat, he points towards the Mustang once he has Tony’s attention. “Okay, your turn. What’s with the deal with the old girl?”

"My car?”

"Yeah. Explain the whole greaser vibe.”

The other boy is quiet for a moment, his gaze searching Petter contemplatively, a napkin being twisted between his hands.

“She was a hunk’a junk when I bought her, mostly scrap metal. I bought all the spare parts and got her up to scratch. I dunno, I just like cars, tinkering with them or whatever.”

“You restored her by yourself?” Peter asks, reluctantly impressed.

He looks at the car again, trying to picture it.

It wasn’t hard to imagine Tony Stark getting his hands dirty, being the prized pig that he was, but having the wherewithal and competence to rebuild a vintage vehicle at sixteen? It would explain the whole Danny Zuko, T-Bird look, but with his bank balance, he could have easily bought a Mustang in mint condition without having to lift a finger. It would explain the streaks of oil from the other day.

Tony shrugs, twisting a napkin between his hands.

“Sorta. Anyway, quit your judging, four-eyes.”

“Not judging,” Peter holds his hands up in innocence. “I just didn’t expect that about you.”

“Yeah, well. I’m exceptional, I know.”

"That’s not the word I would use,” Peter allows. “But you’re not the worst.”

A flash of surprise briefly crosses the other boys face before it disappears.

“High praise,” he says wryly, resting his chin on his hand. He looks Peter up and down slowly, his big, curious eyes made warm by the dying sunlight.

“I’m as shocked as you are.”

“...You’re not the worst either, I guess,” Tony sighs like it pains him to admit it. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, we could never be friends -”

“Definitely not -”

“ - but you’re not completely intolerable. God, never thought I’d say that. Maybe I’m growing as a person.”

“Am I still a neanderthal?”

Sipping his milkshake through the straw, Tony raises his shoulders half-heartedly.

Peter kicks his foot from under the table, unwilling to take that for an answer, even if Tony kicks him back, his eyes flicking upwards briefly, his smile almost bashful. In the dying light of the sunset he almost looks soft; approachable.

“Probably shouldn’t have called you that, huh.”

“Probably not. Is that an apology?”

Tony rolls his eyes. “Don’t push it, Parker. I’m just saying you’re not completely abhorrent. Who knew.”

“I knew. I just don’t know why you’ve always hated me so much.”

He doesn’t mean for it to come out small and quiet, but he can’t take it back once the words have left his mouth.

It starts to rain.

“Sorry,” Peter says, louder to be heard over the droplets hitting the overhead umbrella heavily, immediately feeling stupid. “I shouldn’t have -- it’s not a big deal. I mean, I really don’t like you either.”

“Can I get you boys anything else?”

Both boys turn towards the waitress who’s approached their table, lined-lips smiling down at them, a notepad in her hand.

Tony throws a fifty down on the table and stands and Peter follows suit.

“Nah,” he says, cocking his head to the door. “We’re good.”

---

“See you back at school?” Peter yells to be heard over the rain, back on the sidewalk.

“I’ll drive you back,” Tony yells back, wet hair clinging to his face.

“What?” Peter cups a hand over his ear.

“What?” Tony does the same. “I said I’ll give you a lift!”

“The station isn’t far,” he points. “I can walk!”

“Don’t make me look like an asshole! Get in, princess!”

With the rain pelting his thin shirt and thunder cracking angrily from above, he doesn’t spend his energy arguing. He gets in.

---

The short drive back is amicable, music muted, the pitter-patter of the easing rain filling the ever-growing comfortable silence between them.

With the heater going it doesn’t take long to dry off and restore the feeling back to his fingers. Heat beats from the vents beating pleasantly and along with being sated from the meal, Peter feels like he could nod off at any moment. He has to keep snapping his eyes open, although it’s difficult to adjust his focus as the sunset bleeds into a ruddy orange on the wet windshield, the lights from the cars blurring into bright long streaks of colour.

"You’re not a total lost cause, Tony admits, slowing as they near his apartment block. It’s the first time either of them has spoken since starting the drive back. “Look, maybe it’s the fact that your face looks like a puckered asshole when you speak, I don’t know. There’s just something about you that really rubs me the wrong way."

Peter cringes as they come to a stop outside his building.

"I don't want to rub you in any way."

"And yep, here comes the mental image,” Tony’s nose scrunches, like an infant that just ate something sour. “Gross. Thanks, Parker.”

“Welcome.”

He unbuckles himself and opens the door, hesitating for a second while the moment settles between them.

“Thanks for the grub and the ride, I guess. Text me when you get the paperwork from Miranda?”

“Aye, aye,” Tony mock salutes him. “Now get out of my car.”

Peter complies, giving him the finger by way of goodbye.

Once the car merges and disappears into the traffic, he grins down at his hands, cheeks going warm.

It’s the thrall of finally feeling on equal-footing, he reasons, as he takes the step back up to his apartment. That’s what it is. His stomach is inexplicably still squirming as he enters ascends the floors, going over the day in his head until he arrives at his door.

It smells like tikka masala and too much ginger when he enters. He sets his backpack by the door, placing his keys on a nearby hook.

May greets him with a sway of her spatula, sauce hitting the splashback with the motion.

“Hey bubby,” she says, gripping his shoulder as he nears and kissing his cheek.

Upon closer inspection, he finds that the kitchen is sparking clean. The floors have been mopped, the grout between the tiling is without a speck of dirt and there are faint notes of harsh disinfectant below the smell of spices.

“Oh wow,” Peter says, looking down at the chicken and bean assortment. The rice on the burner looks soggy and overcooked. “That looks great. How was work?”

She gestures vaguely but doesn’t meet his eyes.

“You hungry?”

It’s the same weird behaviour from this morning and he doesn’t have the heart to say that he’s already eaten.

Instead, he collects the cutlery and napkins, takes a stack of bowls and helps her plate up.

“Dancing With The Stars?” he asks, tilting his head towards the living room. He hip-checks her when she doesn’t reply. “C’mon, you’re not going to let me eat all alone, are ya? Tony says ‘hi’, by the way.”

He doesn’t know why he adds that last part, recalling the exchange rom the other day, but it’s worth it to see her smile.

“Alright,” she nods, scooping rice into the bowls. “How is Tony?”

Everything that happened that day bleeds away, unimportant, insignificant.

“He’s alright, I guess.”

---

May falls asleep on the sofa hours later.

He doesn’t want to move her, as exhausted as she is, so he covers her with an old blanket and removes the glasses from her face, placing them on the coffee table. He cleans up as quietly as he can and places her phone on charge in the living room.

On his way to bed he checks his phone for the time. Both Bucky and Tony have sent him text messages, the latter with the awaited paperwork.

Ben would be proud of him, he thinks, smiling as he reads through some of it, saving the rest of it until he’s more alert.

Maybe it wasn’t such a horrible end to the day after all.

---

tagging: @bylerboyfriends @ravens-starker-stuff, @starker-rays, @ironspiderstarker, @muse-of-gods, @notfor-temporaryuse, @tabbycat1220, @sugarfreecult, @rebel13lion39, @plueschpop, @spideravocados, @jellybbunny, @booktrashme, @elfkido, @mycatislickingmybedsheets, @queerghostboyo, @disneyprincessdominatrix, @cherrygoldlove @starkerflowers @starkeristheendgame @thewolffearsher @starkersugar

#starker #starker fic #tony stark x peter parker #high school au #enemies to lovers

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sneezefiction · 4 years

Text

dreaming of you

Sugawara x Reader - Scenario

@0hakaashi‘s request: “can I request suga with #11 (dreams)? ty💕”

a/n: sometimes you write fluff... sometimes that fluff is sickeningly sweet and makes you want to cry out of pure comfort and warmth. have a little taste of that with Sugawara tonight, my loves <3

warnings: none!

wc: 1750

---

Sugawara’s apartment has seen some pretty crazy things.

It witnessed that wild, drunk dancing phase of yours that knocked over way more than just a few breakable items. Your first kisses as a couple and endless domestic, morning pecks with the ever-so gentle boy. It watched as a multitude of sleepovers went from being strict study nights to early morning giggles thanks to distractions like a new song release, Napoleon Dynamite dance routine attempts, and melted ice cream on cherry-tinted lips.

The poster-covered walls knew you better than some of your closest friends. You’d left your mark there. With little, accidental chips and water-stains on wooden furniture. On that old, grey carpet that caught several pain-induced tears, while the rest of your crying was usually muffled by Suga’s thin, white t-shirts. By adding a toothbrush as well as shampoo and conditioner to his bathroom.

You, Sugawara, and this nostalgia-drenched apartment have experienced quite a lot.

And, even if it hasn’t all been perfect, you’ve been lavished in over a year's worth of sunkissed memories. Days that would always start snuggled up under his chin, feeling the reassuring rise and fall of his sturdy chest. With the tenderest of touches, he’d caress your cheek using the back of his hand every morning without fail. Every time you opened your eyes to his chestnut-brown irises, your heart would flutter involuntarily.

It almost seems fake. That this world, which used to be dull and lifeless, could paint itself into a rainbow of colors only the two of you could see.

Once again, you’re splayed across his bed on your stomach, stopping the gentle sway of your legs and placing your phone down in front of you to see Suga’s silvery tufts of hair, his honey-brown eyes gazing thoughtfully at the ceiling.

You’d spent the night at his place again and, as per usual, the morning is quiet. The first 20 or so minutes filled with stretching, phone-scrolling, and snuggles.

He reaches his slender hands upward, stretching his arms toward the open air of the quiet bedroom.

A heavy, golden stream of sunlight casts the shadow of a window onto your wall, along with the outlines of his fingers and thumbs. But as soon as he loses interest in the gleaming sunrise colors that dripped down his hand, Suga drops his arm and lifts himself up to face you, seeking an answer.

Words as soft as a young bird’s feathers ruffle the silence of the cool air.

“Would you be mad if I got super cheesy right now?” Suga asks cooly, his question genuine.

You tilt your head, a small smirk forming because you’ve seen this face before. It’s the look you got before he lavished you with sweet sayings and almost sickening, lovey-dovey phrases.

You used to fuss at him, flick his forehead, cover your face in embarrassment… the whole nine-yards just to avoid his compliments and the tingly feelings that followed.

“I have a feeling you’re just gonna say it anyways, so you might as well.” You roll your eyes, propping yourself up on your elbows and using the palms of your hands to hold your chin.

“You know me so well.” A cheeky grin spreads across his face.

Suga shifts himself up and over to you as he gently lays his head onto your middle.

It’s a tingly, ticklish sensation. His consistent show of closeness and affection always had you melting into him, like clay being warmed by a careful potter's knowing hands. Your hands automatically start carding through his unreasonably soft hair and he hums into the touch before continuing his thoughts.

“Y/n, you’re so good to me.” He breathes out, beginning to build his web of thoughts.

“Things have just… flowed well for me ever since you came into my life.” Suga tilts his head back into your brushing fingers and strokes your thigh with the back of his hand.

“You always make me laugh, you understand me, and wow are you gorgeous. You’re pretty much perfect.” He says while a smile forms on his visage and heat rises to your own face along with a copycat smile of your own.

But the conversation takes an unusual turn.

“And, well, I dunno...”

“...sometimes it almost feels a bit unreal.”

He huffs out an amused sigh because the words sound much funnier out loud than they did in his head. But he might as well continue. You’ve heard him say much weirder, far more… questionable things.

You tug lightly at his sterling strands. With a soft, “Mhmm,” and an unseen smile, you prompt him to continue.

“I’m serious! You’ve somehow even managed to work your way into my dreams most nights, actually.” He admits, letting out a breathy laugh, your own soft giggle following.

He notes how nice it is to feel you laugh against his head, mentally snap-shotting the moment. But Sugawara wants to add one more thing, twisting the moment slightly. Something that could potentially pause that splendid laughter.

“...so when I wake up, I always wonder if you’ll actually still be there... y’know, with me...” The hand that was once twirling his hair now pauses its movements.

You shift yourself upwards so that you’re sitting with your back snug against the bed’s headboard, moving Suga’s head to be in the center of your lap.

With his face more readily availble to you, you’re now tracing the outline of his features while processing his words, gazing deeply into an unreadable expression.

“So you’re trying to tell me…” You brush a few strands of hair away from his eyes, cocking your head to the side with a look that says, ‘Are you being serious right now?’

“...that because things are going so well right now...”

You lean in closer to his face, which lays perpendicular to your own. “...hell, maybe a little too well...”

“...and because I somehow interfere with your subconscious while you’re asleep…” Your nose brushes gently against his, a small flush coloring his pale skin.

“...that you’re worried I might just up and leave you someday?” You quirk an eyebrow and a small smirk appears on your face.

It was an unfounded insecurity... and most insecurities don’t like to listen to logic.

He averts his gaze, a hint of embarrassment flashing in his eyes.

You hover over his face a little longer before tilting your head to ghost your lips meticulously over his.

Even though you’ve taken the initiative, it’s impossible to not get a little flustered with his minty breath gently fanning over your face. You become acutely aware of the subtle shifting of his hands, pressing ever so slightly into the bed at your close contact.

Suga’s golden-brown eyes close and just as he lifts his head off your lap to steal a kiss, you teasingly lean back earning the sweetest of pouts in return.

At your refusal to appease him, Suga rolls his head to the side, avoiding eye-contact with you.

“Well now I just feel silly.” He sulks, face jokingly downcast and blush lightly tinting the apples of his cheeks.

You can’t help but chuckle softly. Your boyfriend has always been a funny one, but it’s hard for you to believe that he would have so little faith in you. Even if it was a passing doubt, you never wanted him to think that the absence of good times meant that you would leave him too.

Because Suga had made a point of always being there.

Always sticking around. Never leaving you, a teammate, a family member, or even a lost stranger behind. He would take anyone by the hand and lead them to a safe place with utmost care. Hell, you bet that even in his dreams, he would still clasp your fingers tightly with his and not let go unless you absolutely begged him… though you doubt that the dream version of youself would ever be stupid enough to ask Suga to untwine your hand from his.

So you decide to be the cheesy one for a change.

You lean over him once more, but this time you use both of your palms to draw his face toward yours. A beautiful, squinty smile adorns your once teasing expression and greets his soft, pouty one. You proceed by blowing cool air into his eyes, causing him to shut them in mild discomfort, which allows you to sneakily take his lips into yours, melding them together tenderly.

He immediately responds by lifting up one of his hands to caress your face, deepening the sleepy, sunrise kiss.

It’s warm and comforting.

And as though a cool breeze had just brushed over your skin, you feel a shiver run down your arms when Suga gently tugs on your bottom lip with his teeth.

Sitting up a little, Sugawara finds himself taking in your saccharine taste. His thumb pleasantly skims over your cheek causing you to smile slightly, breaking the flow of the slow kiss.

As you pull away, you could almost melt at the adoring gaze Sugawara gifts you with. All he can do is blink gratefully at you while relishing in the rare, precious silence. He’s right in front of you, sitting up just enough for the sunlight to catch his silver hair, gracing it with a shimmering gold halo of sorts.

You let out a contented sigh and lean forward to place your forehead on top of his shoulder, inhaling his clean lavender scent. It’s fresh and soft. A little smoky even? It might be from that cologne you gave him last Christmas. Nostalgia combined with a hint of sweetly fragranced detergent. You hum into his white t-shirt and he rests his cheek onto the side of your head.

At his touch, you simply decide that he smells like home.

“Hey Suga…?” You whisper through the thin fabric of his shirt.

“Hmm?”

“You’re a little weird...” A humorous, closed-mouth smile forms on both of your faces.

“Hey now, I thought we were having a moment?” Suga sighs into your hair, some of the lose strands tickling your ear in the process.

“Let me finish!” You quietly huff in mock exasperation.

He nods and you sink a little deeper into the crook of his neck, prompting him to place his arms around you to pull you closer.

“I was gonna say: you’re a little weird, but I’m glad I’ve somehow made my way into your dreams.”

There’s a pause, a breath, and an exhalation.

“I’m glad because I always want to be with you. Whether it’s here in the real world or up there in your pretty little head.”

---

tags: @cherryonigiri, @yams046, @miss-rin, @shou-kunn, @senkuwu-chan, @super-noya, @stcrryskies, @holaaaf, @sugacookiies, @vintgicals, @moonlightaangel, @starboybokuto

(comment, dm, or send an ask to be added to my general tag list)

#haikyuu!!#sugawara x reader #sugawara koushi #sugawara #haikyuu x reader #sugawara fluff #hq #hq scenarios #hq imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #sugawara fanfiction #sugawara scenarios #karasuno #haikyuucreations #sneezefiction

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pepsicup · 3 years

Text

Chaotic Commentary: We Have Always Lived In The Castle

Welcome to my thought process when I watch movies!

The arrival of a cousin with ulterior motives threatens the claustrophobic and isolated world of two sisters and their uncle. (Oooof, bitch. I already know Sebastian is gonna look damn fine in this movie.)

Watched: April 22nd, 2021

Opening

Alrighty, right off the bat, the opening music giving me very much throwing it back at summer solstice 1531. Might fuck around and show some ankle, who knows

Um miss girl, first off all, i know damn well you aren't wearing a stark white shirt and capris shorts after labour day. And secondly, you gotta work on your self care babygirl, you are looking rough

Okay, so noted; there is clearly something off about this girl because i know when i personally rummage through family keepsakes, i don't have a hannibal look on my face

I don't know if you guys know this but your house...it needs a little 5 minute crafts, diy, extreme makeover: home edition treatment

Ohhhh baddie alert, baddie alert, baddie alert. That chick’s silhouette already got me acting up. Yes sink low to the ground girl, drop it down for me

Short monologue before being cut in half by that creepy ass stare, gotcha. I literally needed more nightmare fuel, thanks bestie

‘A change is coming, and nobody knows it’ how much more change can you get, your house is literally in shambles girl one battle at a time

First Act

Ah, here we are, title screen. Very cottagecore.

Timeskip: What did happen last tuesday, I must know...the suspense is suffocating

I’m not one to judge, but that record doesn’t sound like a life-coaching audio.

Oh heyyy there's a kitty!

Yes hun, that is a working tap, your telekinesis is redundant. Eleven from stranger things eat your heart out.

Alexandra! Babyyy Daddario! Step on my face or domesticate me into a housewife, i beg of you. The uncle tho, he isn't it.

Chill out Mary, you’re just running errands. Why is she walking in a slow-mo naruto run like that. She is giving me a schizophrenic Napoleon Dynamite vibes.

Wait...is her name Meerkat?

Oh, its Merricat...nah i like mine better lmaooo.

Her inner monologue is making cackle because it sounds like a Gabbie Hanna original piece 💀

Okay what i got from the coffee shop scene was Stella is also a grade A baddie, I want to commit double homicide on those two douches, and i want to invite miss meerkat to my lunch table because awwww. She's just different leave her alone.

Wow, the village folk really know how to talk shit huh? Well, I can eat rats like all of them for every meal of the day, plus snackie snacks. Go fuck yourselves, thoroughly.

God that family needs to smoke some weed or something. Why do I feel like the sisters are about to kiss...and the uncle sounds like he means risky business. Very bad vibes here, back to you in the studio.

Ooooh, miss daddy really knows how to roll her tongue huh? Again, very much cottagecore ‘history says they were just really good friends’ aesthetic. And so many bops in this movie, kinda feel the need to throw it back or do the renegade.

Why do I feel like this next scene is just a posh episode of gossip gorl. Sipping tea and spewing nonsense. Rum cake? No thanks, babygirl. Oh but here comes uncle wanky, whisking away Lucille with his talk of arsenic.

Yes. Speak 8 course meal to me daddy...fuck, now I’m hungry. Okay the uncle isn’t so bad I guess, very poetic and philosophical. Yes, very nice. Sucks that he was roofied and turned to a professor X cosplay for solace, though.

Timeskip: Last Thursday huh? We are in for a rollercoaster folks.

*she glares in rhubarb pie and possibly shelved jam*

OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING, I SAW THE SIDE/BACK OF HIS HEAD AND MY HEART STOPPED. He has a very nice shaped head, yes, pleasing to the eye.

Hi sirrrr, I have a pocket full of horses, trojan and some of them used. Pls let me ride you in the little red corvette. Pick me, Charles, choose me, love me.

Real talk, I feel so bad for Mary Katherine (I literally almost typed Gallagher at the end lmaooo thanks molly shannon) she is obviously struggling with something and Constance looks like she is very traumatized.

But I still think there’s something not right about Mary. Miss girl no one walks like that (thats a lie, it would probably be me after a night with Bucky barnes) and I love me a little witchy goodness. But not enough to start locking up my bedroom like it’s Area 51 and having secret rituals at my super exclusive, diy bohemian temple in the middle of the woods.

OH MY FUCKING GOD PLEASE SPARE ME FROM THE FEELING I JUST FELT IN THIS ROOM ON THIS VERY DAY IN APRIL, MAMA FUCKING MIA

when he stood up—bitch I’m gone, I’m his whore now. Sorry, I am owned by this man. Bye I was literally launched off earth for a moment there, kinda chillin’ in dead space, standby.

Okay I took a break for a moment. I’m cool, I’m collected, play button is a go. NOPE, GIRL MY MOUTH IS FOREVER OPEN, AND I DUNNO IF I WAS MY BODY TELLING ME TO KNEEL IN FRONT OF HIM OR WHAT—SOMEONE HOLD ME

Current state: I am hugging my knees and wasting away under my blankets. I paused and played and paused and played because I cant go more than 2 seconds of looking at him.

Okay, I’m all good.

All I keep saying is no...no ...NO, louder and louder every time he opens his mouth, ‘got a hug for your cousin?’ um not a cousin but yes, right bitch for that job present for attendance. Here ✋🏻

Girl I’d run like the wind, too, this kitty isn’t gonna dry itself, nyuuuooom, double time! Fall in, Rogers. Gotta keep up. 🏃🏻‍♀️

Timeskip: Last Friday night, yeah we dance on table tops and we took too many shots, I think I gave Charles a blo-oh-job, whoops—

Ah, see I knew there was something fruity about Charles, hopefully he kisses a boy in this. Would love to see that.

Uh oh, the way he just pops that fruit into his mouth...I fine, I’m totally fine. Mentally I am... the way he chews if making my oral fixation quake

‘now that’s a handsome cat’ sir if you don’t—he wonders why he is such a fucking meme, this is why Sebastian.

‘Jonassss’ which one of the brothers, tho?

Ah yes, the best of friends; Meerkat, Frankie Jonas and a middle-aged Carter Baizen. Ugh mega sad that this is the closest I will get to see Charles pet a puthycat though.

Why don’t you slap my ass like a flapjack pancake, Charles. You won’t.

OMG so quirky 🤪when you steal his shirts 🥺🤪🥰

Who the is venice, Charles? Who, who, what are you, a fucking owl? WHO’S VENICE AND WHY IS SHE YOUR FAVOURITE?! sorry i had to get that out of my system, iconic cinema shall not be overlooked.

all this commentary is fresh from my chicken breast brain by the way

All i heard out of that little inspirational, facebook-esque speech at the dinner table was was shoes. Also peep Frédéric Chopin banging in the background noise, a little Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2 to keep party goin’

Charles...that is your cousin.

It isn't a PHASE, Charles. Let him be emo over his dead brother and great tragedy of losing his legs then gaining the likeness of sir patrick stewart. Therefore, he will not forget.

Oh...i’ll sit down i guess.

I COULD LITERALLY—...I could literally watch him eat for the rest of my life pls sir have murthy

Grocery boy...hmmm reminds me of a yee ole jingle i heard in my youth. What can i say, I’m a connoisseur of the classics my friends.

Sidenote: I’m getting vietnam flashbacks to singing ‘carol of the bells’ at the elementary christmas concert. I am overstimulated. And not in a good way.

Charles...do not add that newspaper clipping of your cousin to your personal spank bank, pls.

Timeskip: Last weekend, alright. What did we do; brewski’s with the boys? Hockey night in canada? one legged race? I’m dying to know...

Very nice form charles, you’ve almost dug right through the wood. A real mans-man here if we are being honest. I’ve never in whole life seen a construction crew do better than Charles Blackwood.

I could watch him do this all day.

Pearl necklace huh? Me too, girl.

‘I’m beginning to think, that my spells no longer work’ 8-year-old me, sitting in a bath full of salt and a charm bracelet of rock candy dissolving in the water after my fifth attempt to transform into a mermaid

Aw, but i would sit out there and eat a sandwich with Meerkat. Hell yeah, we can go halfsies on a BLT no problem 😢

oh...

oh no...Charles.

Here is my first sexual grievance, the way he carried that sack over his shoulder, mmm yes i have been fed most wonderful nutrients. BUT NEXT?! THE TWO FINGERS LINE AND THE FUCKING MOTION HE DID AND SAYING SHE WASN’T GOING DEEP ENOUGH PLS

what is with this man and gold...alright debutante Lance Tucker simmer down.

And the ‘hot’ thing, ‘needing a bath’? miss daddy is working it in for her cousin real hard, sweet home alabama all summer long

HEY LET'S ALL GO SWIMMING IN MY POOOL, AND BY POOL I MEAN BATHTUB, AND BY SWIMMING I MEAN SEXXXX--

Oh, so there’s this ominous whistling, nice, a blade kink, cool, and Charles serving body audi audi audi audi all the damn day. Hi sirrrrr. God i just love his chest, man. Its just so buff. He looks this good for what? And in front of his cousin...ew? um child, anyways so

the way my stomach clenched in the most uncomfortable way just shows that my body doesn't care about my comfort when it comes to thirsting and simping. He didnt have to look at her like that or fucking back her out

oh to be a chair...

esteemed audience member sac is a little tired of hearing cousin charles and cousin mary call each other cousin charles and cousin mary

Charles, eat your fruit and shut the fuck up. But also, hi sirrr.

I see you, Constance, I see you...tig ol’ bitties 👀

Timeskip: It’s Monday without the benefit of a sebastian stan, full frontal nude scene...smh

baby, just give up on the step and go fondle some plants please, i’m begging, stop at once. or, i spoke too soon?

If i have to hear sebastian say constance one more time i am going suck down all the arsenic i can find...he just says it so weird lmaoooo i hate it

Climax (make it happen, Charles 🙄)

Aw i love fruity, coffee shop, car men AU’s

that shot of him looking over his shoulder single handedly sent to into a spiral...what the fuck are you doing to me, Charles.

uh oh...one of the car men is madddd

OH OKAY WELL, WELL, FUCK ME, WELL

why dont you just come up behind her and literally growl in her ear what the fuck, Charles. I swear sebastian plays his characters just to make women go feral sometimes.

Sir! Sir! This IS A WENDY’S, SIR, THAT’S YOUR COUSIN--

NOT THE MILK CARTON

PLEASE I’M LITERALLY KILLING MYSELF LAUGHING, WHY IS HE DRINKING IT LIKE THATTTTT

that little ‘aahh’ at the end when he drank it all got me, oh my fucking jesus. Hold on i need a minute, my stomach hurts from laughing my guts out.

Oooof but the eye-contact and the expressions are computing mega well to my chicken breast brain so fanfics will be written and sin will be committed so help me lord jesus on the cross almighty, amen (sorry i’m ex-catholic, its just my go-to)

pfffft that is so iconic, Mary is literally gathering sticks in the pitch black woods while Charles basically puts down his own wood for her sister to pick up on fjgrebgnuierijiojfd, i’m dying

why does he have to pull that poetic, sensitive stud act...just give us the goods charles, slap someone i’m begging you

This is like star wars all over again, they served head-on into on-coming incest traffic

*holds up finger guns* sir, ma’am i’m gonna need you to put your hands behind your heads and get down on your knees exactly 8.92 feet apart, this is a citizen’s arrest

but, i too would like to slow dance and make plans with him. Maybe we’ll go deep in the garden with two fingers on top of the rhubarb, maybe we will commit arson, who knows...

Meerkat continues to be my every mood, she really said:

Timeskip: Oh shit, its tuesday ya’ll, grab your party hats it’s about to get funky

Charles, if you don’t shut the fuck up and stop yelling out her name i will suffocate you between my thighs, electrocute your arm until it falls limp and shoot you with a grenade launcher, don’t make me do it

And yes, am i currently squirming in my seat because of the way he is smoking the pipe and hollowing his cheeks, what about it?

Second Act

Yes baby girl! you trash that room like ozzy osbourne and tommy lee did to that motel on tour in 1982. Go, Meerkat, go!

Charles holding those sticks in both hands is the equivalent to a 1-year-old holding those little cocktail weenies, it has the same energy and i’m dying over it

Try to tell me it's not the same picture:

You can't.

Oh shit, its getting heated now. Mary’s in trouble.

Everything isn’t making sense at the same time its all coming together, i am confused, frightened, a little bit horny, but mostly just entirly overwhelmed. Mom...can you come pick me up, i’m scared.

Oh my god! knew it! i knew i knew the actor that plays the uncle, he's the creepy thin man from charlie's angels! Wowza, what a world.

Oh no...i’m flashing back to vietnam again, the fucking bells dude i’m tellin’ ya. There is so much going on, i feel everything but nothing at the same time, help...

NOOOO HER ARTSY BOHEMIAN WITCH COTTAGECORE JARS! THE OUTRAGE! SHE CANT CAST SPELLS ANYMORE, HER POWERS ARE LOST!

a CURSH! NOT A CURSH!

What in the criss angel mindfreak is going on in here on this day? Who are they? And why is the broad such a bitch...oh is she the mom? My bad. Pops seems nice though. Yes, indeed.

Awh, hiii frankie jonasss. 🥰

Oh here we go with the eating again. If i have to see him flex his jaw one more time i’m gonna go feral. And on the usual, loud and obnoxious noises like the ones he is making when he takes a bite, or chew or swallow food/a drink like the who fucking milk debacle. But he just makes it okay? Maybe its just my eating disorder bias coming into play but how can someone be sexy while eating, or smug? Like huh???

‘Why dont you like me?’ WHY DO YOU CARE CHARLES, GODDAMN IT

Is he playing the sad boi card reallyyy? You want someone to say thank you? Put yourself to good use then. I can think of a lot of ways you can use that mouth better than going on these strange mini-monolgues like some tortured writer with a kink for control...and breatheee

And she’s back with the Eleven telekinesis, sweet kat that is a meer you have running water! Pfft she is actually dressed like eleven too, like what. Oh wait did i just uncover the plot?

Breaking News: Eleven holds a whole town hostage.

Jesus with Charles eating, Mary getting the sudden urge commit arson, miss daddy looking so fucking fine that i would literally throw myself in front of a bus just to get her attention, and uncle X with his weird theatre act: my blood pressure must be through the roof

Wow hes got a temper, but poor connie, shes a hot mess lmaooo

Oh god...oh god okay this is happening, oh wow, you didn't even get through dinner first charles jesus. Listen, i never give choking up on the first date but if i had the chance...i don't want any sausages other than his, i said what i said

and it keeps going?? ummmmmm i ummmmmm, i don’t have words. I was not warned of this savagery and i don’t know if i’m going to be able to write for anyone other than Charles for a whillllleeee, hun, apologies

Good to know he also uses his super soldier senses in another universe to sense a fire deep in his loins like the dramatic king he is

Now he is driving away and laying on the horn, nice

Oh ho ho, yessssss my coffee shop baddie, my black coffee queeeeeennn Stelllaaaaa. She said, Superhero mode real quick.

ummmm uncle x with the sick mustache...thats certain death? I mean if you are into that sort of thing, have at it.

Okay still driving, people are crying over the bed burning into dust, the heavily disable man is still smoking the good stuff...got it.

Big red truck go Honk, Honk.

Oh here come all the old, white men. Lovely.

‘oh-hooo yeah, thats a fireeeee’ as far as old white men go, that was pretty fucking funny to me

Yeah its gonna be in the arms of the angels real soon if you girls dont get the fuck out????

‘We’re firemen’ and i’m a homo, you want a gingerbread cookie or something? put out the damn fire PLEASE 💀

Ummm you’re too late, i was already wet before you got that camera spray shot, dawg, oh but that poor camera guy lol

AND WEI’RE GOONA LETIT BÜRN BÜRN BÜRN BÜRN, everybody its a singalong

hi, yeah...fuck off, jim

NO YOU DUMB ASSHOLES YOU KNOCKED OVER STELLA MY COFFEE MAMA

charles, you greedy bastard i dont know if should be ashamed when i say that i would still let him top me quite violently even still

Wow this rave got out of hand really fast, i blame marilyn manson

another day, another professor X 😪🔫💀☠️🔥🔪 𝚛𝚒𝚙, 𝕗𝕝𝕪 𝕙𝕚𝕘𝕙, 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔟𝔢 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰𝔢𝔡

i swear to go if anything happens to either my coffee mama or baby miss daddy i will reign hellfire.

Oh so it takes a gunshot for Charles to do a 360 running man but not a jay gatsby meets canadian, hockey riot, emo rave. Gotcha. Hes a man with a code.

That’s what you get for hoeing after your cousin, constance. This is all your fault!

Ending

Timeskip: Ooohhh, yesturrrrdayyyy all my troubles seems so far away--

hunny that ain’t the moon, thats your super secret boho alter

Noooo the kitchennnn, that was my favourite room, other than the bathroom for obvious reasons, I hope the milk cartons are okay...👀

I guess meerkat isn't getting her num-nums, and charles is just going to have to live with charred fruit if he decides to come back

FRANKIE JONAS! THANK GOD!

Oohhere'ss the tea, it's about damn time! I called it! I knew ms variant mongoose was the one who did the fucky things! But i was shocked to find out that Mary was the favourite child over connie, hmm very much bad parenting

ooooh, knock knock, is it charlie-boy? oh, thats disappointing, its just that gossip chick and her husband, boooooo

Never again...never. We get it baby daddy.

oh? another knock? HAHAHAHAHA ITS THE FIRE GUY LMAOOO, what a king. He reminds me of stan lee!

What aare these people doing, they aren't goddess you give offerings to so that your crops will be plentiful, fuck off man. ANOTHER KNOCK..

and i opp-- herreeeees charlie!

‘friends’ sir you were halfway in her pantaloons, stop trying to act all innocent, the fuck. Wow hes really going for it huh?

did he just rip the chain off? Oh charles relax, its door, you don't need to moan like that.

Uhm, i love connie, so fuck you charles you twisted, manipulative burnt cornstalk of a human being. Oh yeah throw a hissy fit, that's real attractive, keep going, she’ll totally say yes.

Oh wait NO DON'T DO THAT, NO THAT'S A DOOR. And another door? NO GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BABY DADDY ALEXANDRA, SHES MINE.

YOU LITTLE BITCH BOY, GET OFF! WTF!

*standing ovation* give it up for meer-to-the-kat, bravo kid! OH NO HES DEAd, YOU CAN STOP NOW

hahahaha guess whos deep in the garden now, Charles.

Ooh and we are back to start, nice. Children, she's a seasoned murder, might wanna chill on the whole bit you got going on.

Good, smile andddd scene!

Final Thoughts

Okie Dokie, I actually liked this movie a lot.

The acting was absolutely phenomenal, especially on Alexandra’s Daddario and Taissa Farmiga’s part, the characters were so well played. They focused in on so different points of view in this story that it captured the chaos that they were living individually and as a group under one roof. It constantly kept you on edge with the strange nuances in their dialogue, unnerving pauses and the progression of the condition of each character.

It was great. The aesthetic was there, the small but necessary breaks with dark humour really kept the story flowing and most of all, the fervour. It was everywhere, in their emotions or outbursts like Charles at the dinner table and on the stairs, or the way the townspeople kept adding fuel to their own personal hell. And I must admit, it's hard to make characters like Jim the firefighter relevant, but every person that this story involves has a distinct purpose and significance to the plot.

The only negative thing I could think of was I just wish there was more, I wanted it to be longer so that the small gaps in the movie could have been powerful. Okay, what else. Yes, Charles Blackwood, despite all of...that, will make a great character for me to touch on and has a lot of interesting qualities that I will be sure to tap into. Oh! And the only reason why no one else is getting the stan award was that my coffee mama was the only character who wasn't off the rails or just a terrible waste of human life! We stan!

Hoped you enjoyed this and my questionable thought process, I’m gonna go now...bye lol

Overall Score: 8.5/10

🏆 Honorary Stan Award: Stella Ella Ola, Clap Clap Clap. Periodt.

#we have always lived in the castle #castle daddy #sac reviews

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tilbageidanmark · 2 years

Photo

Movies I watched this week - 44

4 films about Underground Comix With Bakshi, Crumb & Harvey Pekar:

✳️✳️✳️ First watch: Ralph Bakshi’s adult animation American Pop from 1981. A uniquely wild story about four generations of Russian Jews, spanning nearly 100 years of pop music. It started extremely well, and had great style, originality and score, but eventually lost focus and clarity. 7+/10.

I never realized that Bakshi was born at the very same hospital as me, exactly 15 years earlier!

✳️✳️✳️ Bakshi and R. Crumb’s trippy and horny, Fritz The Cat. He’d “been up and down the four corners of this big old world, seen it all and done it all. He fought many a good man and laid many a good woman”. X-rated and politically-radical all the way.

The last hospital orgy scene and lovely final credits. 8/10.

✳️✳️✳️ Crumb, Terry Zwigoff’s fantastic bio of his weirdo friend and fellow musician R. Crumb. A moving documentary about a tortured family of 3 disturbed brothers, hyper-sexual, perverted, compulsive masturbators with unhealthy sibling rivalry and deep mental issues. Crumb who sounds exactly like Napoleon Dynamite, came out OK, while the film was dedicated to his brother Charles, who killed himself before the premiere.

10/10.

✳️✳️✳️ American Splendor, the least successful of these four, with Paul Giamatti as Harvey Pekar, a pathetic and unhappy file clerk, who somehow managed to turn his miserable life into a series of adult comix.

✴️

Tehran Taboo - Never heard of it before, and the most unexpected outrage of the week!

First of all, it’s a beautiful rotoscoped adult animation. But it’s a dark story of sex, drugs and Islamic law in today’s repressive and miserable Iran. The first scene is of a prostitute who must give a blowjob to a taxi driver, while her 5 year old mute boy is in the back seat. And it only gets grimmer from there. Still, this hard-to-watch film is sensitive, mature and nuanced.

Start with this trailer. 8+/10

✴️

3 with Irène Jakob:

✳️✳️✳️ Red, the final of Krzysztof Kieślowski’s Three Color trilogy, the “only film to receive perfect ratings on both Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic”. An unlikely friendship between beautiful, young model and a retired judge who eavesdrops on his neighbors’ telephone conversations. Subtle and elegant. (Photo Above).

(Link is a private Danish Library copy)

✳️✳️✳️ Previous Kieślowski lyrical film, The Double Life of Véronique - Pure cinema, a joy to all the senses. A series of beautiful coincidences, beautifully told. Two green-eyed babies born on the same day in one in France and one in Poland, and they both grew up to be gorgeous Irène Jakob. Sensual and mysterious. 8/10.

✳️✳️✳️ Louis Malle’s perfect autobiographical film Au Revoir les Enfants about destroyed innocence and broken friendship. 10/10

(I noticed that many of the movies I now love the most are these I saw and loved years ago)…

✴️

2 by Henri-Georges Clouzot:

✳️✳️✳️ Clouzot’s twisty Les Diaboliques, a Hitchcockian thriller-noir that also takes place in a French boarding school. Hitchcock himself missed out on purchasing the rights to the novel on which it was based by just a few hours, Clouzot getting to the authors first. I can imagine how Hitch’ would have made it differently.

✳️✳️✳️ Would you like to watch Picasso create his art LIVE as if he wore a GoPro? Well, you’re in luck, because in 1956 his friend Clouzot filmed him drawing two dozen paintings in The Mystery of Picasso. It looks as if the art is being materialized by itself on white canvases as if by magic. The paintings were subsequently destroyed so that they would only exist on film.

The whole film is magical - Best film of the week!

✴️

Gus Van Sant’s chilling Elephant, about the last few hours before a Columbine High School killing. More horrifying than “horror”, because it documents quiet and mundane interactions of the teenagers, when the spectator knows what to come.

What an anti-social, fucked up country the US is. 9/10.

✴️

David Mamet’s clever directorial debut House of Games about the art of the con, starts, literally, with a Chekhov’s gun presented during the first 10 minutes. There was a time when Joe Mantegna was the cat’s meow. With Ricky Jay & young William H. Macy.

“..I’m from the United States of kiss-my-ass…” Re-watch.

✴️

Key Largo, John Houston’s mediocre crime-gangster drama, with Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall.

(I only watched it because of this John Green little nugget about ‘Enough’, from Metafilter…)

✴️

2 by Spike Lee:

✳️✳️✳️ Spike’s ‘Apocalypse Now’ Vietnam epic, Da 5 Bloods. War drama mixed with Black history anger. A bloody mess. Raw performance by Delroy Lindo. 5/10.

✳️✳️✳️ Bamboozled, his outdated version of ‘The Producers’ from 2000. Also, Howard Beale did it better in ‘Network’. Messy Cliche City “satire”. 2/10

✴️

“Aline”, an animated music video directed by Wes Anderson as part of The French Dispatch, illustrated by Javi Aznarez.

✴️

Branded to Kill, a 1967 Japanese Yakuza B-feature, the one that got Seijun Suzuki fired and blacklisted for making “movies that make no sense and no money”. Incoherent and absurdist avant-garde piece. I, for one, didn’t get it.

✴️

Annihilation, an inferior Black Mirror copy with an all female crew (and Benedict Wong!). I hate such stupid pseudo science made-up premises experiments! This is the 4th of Alex Garland films I’ve seen, and none of them did anything for me. 1/10

✴️

Disaster-porn film Worth about the guy who was Special Master of the September 11th Victim Compensation Fund. Attempting to recreate the successful formula of ‘Spotlight’, it even stars Stanley Tucci in the same role, and Michael Keaton with a weird accent in a similar place. But it ends up as a formulatic melodrama. 2/10

✴️

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, a waste of Keira Knightley and a big waste of a good apocalypse. 1/10

✴️

All Nighter, a 2017 comedy with JK Simmons, which is the only reason I watched it, and the only worthwhile part of it. 2/10

- - - - -

(My complete movie list is here)

#movies

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joeyarnoldvn · 3 years

Text

2021, February

Biden Law, Five Years Lockdown Monday the first day of February of 2021. Canada Kidnapping Themselves Tuesday. All About Hive Blog Wednesday. Alex Jones and DR. STEVE PIECZENIK Thursday. Are you ready for Weapons of Mass Distraction Friday. Amazon Spies Saturday.

Instagram Rising

I was banned on Bittrex Sunday the 8th. My Cash App is $joeyarnoldvn Monday. Cronyism Sucks Tuesday. Gold-Backed Crypto Wednesday. Protonmail problem on my 36th birthday Thursday. Just kidding. Brother Joined Hive Friday. Shoveling Snow Saturday.

Ice Killed Texans

Happy Valentines Day Sunday the 14th. President's Day. Party at Five Monday. Texas Freezing Tuesday. Vietnamese pho dinner was yummy. Travel Post Banned For Not Being a Travel Post Wednesday. Photoshop Funny Thursday. We Need County Coin Friday. Why is Sweden banning masks Saturday.

Can't Disrupt Commerce lol

Strung up pea strings. The Healthy American Sunday the 21st. Pho dinner. Musical chairs. Weekly Oatmeal Show - Episode 001 Monday. Gina Carona Interview with Ben Shapiro Tuesday. Digging up potatoes. Bible study revived. Being Dead Due To Birth Wednesday. Captain Biden Flying Around Zapping Brown Kids Thursday. My-Body-My-Choice No-Mask Sign Friday. Cleaned Out a Chicken House Saturday. DEADLY-ALLERGIC to YOUR-OWN-BODY Sunday.

February of 2021

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2021

2020s

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Join My Communities

My Autobiography

History | Future | 1900s | 2000s | 0000s | 1000s | 2000s

About Me

February of 2021

Oatmeal Monthly - 2021-02 - February of 2021 Published in February of 2021

I enjoyed watching season 1 of Tell Me Your Secrets

By Oatmeal Joey Arnold

Contact Me

Biden Law, Five Years Lockdown Plan

2021-02-01 - Monday

Hello Pocahontas

Americans to be placed under Extreme Lockdown House-Arrest for at least 12 months, that is the plan. You will be stuck in your house like they did in China. You will starve to death and die. The plan is to begin this before 2022, as in as soon as possible. Your loved ones will die from Covid Vaccines which is already murdering hundreds to thousands of people. This is a hole straight down to the pits of Hell.

Canada Kidnapping Themselves

2021-02-02 - Tuesday

Biden, Harris, Napoleon Dynamite Voting Meme

When Canadians return to their home country, Canada, they're federally kidnapped, imprisoned in Covid Concentration Camps for many days, and then charged at least $2,000. Wow. Justin is so liberal. Let's all move to the Land of the Moose. 2 masks at least says CDC. Go to their website and read the article.

Try To Withdraw Money

If you try to take your money out of your bank, they'll flag you, stick the IRS up your butt. Just try it, I dare you. When you try to withdraw cash, watch what happens, and don't get me started with if you ask for gold when you try to cash out. Paper money was supposed to be an "I-Owe-You" check which is supposed to be exchangeable for actual gold, a place-holder.

All About Hive Blog

2021-02-03 - Wednesday

Picture of Joey Arnold

Hive is like Facebook except it pays you to post. Did you know Covid is also called SARS-COV-2? Wait a minute, whatever happened to SARS-COV-1? Did we have a pandemic for the first one? How are we already in the second one? Was I sleeping while the first one was going around? How many years ago was the first one? Is China stealing oil from Texas? Why was Joe Biden refused a Pentagon security clearance? There has been documented cases where people were missing over 90% of their brain tissue but where still able to function like a normal person. One person to even had just a thin layer around the inside of the skull. Literally an empty head and yet could still function as a human. They are destroying the second amendment right now. You have no idea.

Alex Jones and DR. STEVE PIECZENIK

2021-02-04 - Thursday

Trump Terminator

Big interview between Alex Jones and DR. STEVE PIECZENIK today, 2nd hour of the show. The dollar could lose over 20% of its value under Lord Biden before 2022 and much more the following 12 months. It is likely the dollar will die sooner or later meaning you must convert your dollars into something else while you still can. This is financial advice. You have been warned. Your money is on fire but not in a good way. You're leaking value each day. You might as well give me your money as you're losing your money each second. You're wasting your money as you let inflation destroy the value of fiat. Was the Burma Election stolen like it was in America? If you think Biden won, then you do NOT know who won in Burma. I don't care what military is doing. Who won the election in Burma? I'm asking who got the most real votes excluding the fake votes. I want to know who really won. Please let the REAL WINNER be the leader of what you call Myanmar. Whoever actually won should be allowed to run that country, period. Military should help whoever got the most legal votes in that nation. Period. I don't know who won. I am just saying let the real winner have the power, good or bad.

Fall or Rise of Empires

This is what Mike Adams said today. He said something bad could happen over night, that is to the extent the dollar crashes, they'll try to blame the crazy Redditters, the conservatives, for destroying the money, they'll come up with crazy excuses, conspiracy theories, and then say how they saved us by giving us Biden Coins or whatever they want to call it. They are trying to have one centralized global digital currency, no cash, no decentralized cryptocurrencies. So, I agree this could happen at any time, especially if three or more stimulus checks come out in 2021, as they spend more and more money, as people demand silver, gold, etc. The centralized banking system could fall in the next few years or sooner. As that happens, either the good guys or the crazy globalists and baby eaters can take over as that happens. So, in other words, we are in a major transition in global history similar to the rise or fall of other great empires like that of Rome, Babylon, Persia, England, China, etc. But I can't say if we are in the middle of the fall or the rise of an evil authoritarian regime.

Are you ready for Weapons of Mass Distraction?

2021-02-05 - Friday

Alex Jones

Happy birthday brother. Are you ready for Weapons of Mass Distraction? In order to buy guns in 2021 in America, you either have to right now or potentially soon will have to pay too many taxes, additional taxes, including gun related taxes, and pass a test which includes questions relating to if you want to own a gun. If you answer you want a gun, you fail the test because only crazy bad guys want guns. If you want a gun, pass a test. The only way to pass the test is to answer you do not want a gun. Once you answer you do not want a gun, then the genie in the bottle comes out and says in the voice of Robin Williams in Disney's cartoon movie, Aladdin, "As you wish." There were at least two 2020 USA General Election court cases which heard evidence meaning the other dozen or more cases were unconstitutionally dismissed by compromised judges. There is one case in Arizona which is leading towards potential ballot auditing. There may be other legal cases pending in other states in the United States of America. New court cases may rise. Others are ongoing. Some may be, if they haven't yet, potentially, refiled or retried. In some cases, you can do that. It's not double-jeopardy in some cases. It depends but you can sometimes do this depending on the details. A federal case for example could be then tried on the state level. That is not double jeopardy. You can pressure your local counties to call for ballot audits today. Join the revolution.

Nullifying Federal Executive Orders

North Dakota is planning to nullify (on a state level) unconstitutional federal executive orders. If you're not living in this state, you should either go there or encourage your state to call up North Dakota. Hello Texas, Idaho, Wyoming, Arizona, etc. In the world of rock paper scissor, you can see state and federal power. However, never underestimate the power of the county sheriff which trumps over them. You should make friends with your local sheriffs and talk to them about the rule of law regarding what you have to do in your county, legally speaking. Don't go against the sheriffs. Find out what they expect from you as a citizen of the county you're living in.

Amazon Spies

2021-02-06 - Saturday

Trump

Amazon vans have cameras actively spying on people, as in anybody and everybody as they drive around delivering packages, not just their customers but also neighbors and everyone else as well. They collect the data in order to develop a China Social Credit Score Database. Even if you're not on Facebook, they'll still have your data. If you do something that our overlords deem not right, your social credit score begins to go down and down. A lower Social Credit Score means you will not be able to buy and sell, travel, have food, have protection, have safety, have a job, have schooling, have a house, have children, have parents, have organs, have water, have power, have Internet, have apps, have trash, have doctors, have hospitals, have health care. When you call 911 and say somebody cut off your arm and you are bleeding to death, the operator will answer the phone and say, "Sorry, your social credit score is too low, please raise it to an acceptable level and try your call again. Have a good day. Good bye."

I was banned on Bittrex

2021-02-07 - Sunday

I was banned on Bittrex

Banks and big tech companies are making special cities all around the world. Covid to End on the 31st of March of 2025 according to WorldBank.org.

My Cash App is $joeyarnoldvn

2021-02-08 - Monday

Facebook Restricted

My Cash App is $joeyarnoldvn and what is yours? Let's have a party before the dollar dies. Let's come up with backup plans and come together in local communities while we still can. Now is the time.

Cronyism Sucks

2021-02-09 - Tuesday

Cronyism Sucks

George Washington did NOT say, "My fellow Americans, read my lips, I hereby grant you some rights which we can then take away if there is a pandemic or if you feel a little unsafe regarding your neighbor's cannons." You can either help your state leave the United States of Satan or you can leave that state. A woman in Vancouver, Washington went to a hospital. Nurses and doctors tried to stick a needle in her arm against her wishes. She said no. The hospital called the police who came and kidnapped her for not breaking the law. No crime. The hospital and the police committed crime against her. And believe all women. And what if I told you she was black and black lives matter. And police are bad. The police might as well sell her to sex trafficking. Don't we want to defund the police? And I am Pro-Choice too. My Body My Choice. And none of your business. Thousands of people go to Oakes Farms Market in Florida daily without masks in 2020 and many of them go there seven days a week because it's the new Disneyland, the happiest place on earth, even some of their staff are 80 years old or older and yet are not getting sick. But if you do want to wear a mask, have at it. Hundreds of new customers come in each day from out of state, some come as far as like New York. You can tell they're new because when they enter the store, their jaws drop like as if they're cartoon characters.

Cash App

My Cash App is $joeyarnoldvn and what is yours? Let's have a party before the dollar dies. Let's come up with backup plans and come together in local communities while we still can. Now is the time. I will invest in a gold-backed cryptocurrency, as much as I can. Is there such a thing yet? Sign up to be a First Responder today, just call, not toll-free, at 1-800-Get-A-Gun-Duh. Don't kill your chickens, wait until they die of old age, say a little prayer to remember the wonderful life Chicken Little had and then get out your knife and prepare for a feast in honor of the life of the little guy. Study shows over 80% of Covid-19 Patients have vitamin D deficiency. Nurses stick stuff inside babies causing hearts to stop. After that, they try their best to restart the infant's hearts. Too many do die. It is covered up. You don't hear about it. Most viruses die in the air within seconds. Over 85 percent of child trafficking related things seem to be happening on Facebook Messenger.

Gold-Backed Crypto

2021-02-10 - Wednesday

Find me on Instagram at Joeyarnoldvn

Gold and silver are accepted as legal currencies in Utah, Oregon, Colorado, Oklahoma, and Missouri. Before 2030, globalists will most likely murder over 6 billion people. The good news is, number one, we can try to stop some of that, and, number two, regardless, you don't have to be one of them, you don't have to die, there may be only a billion people left on our planet soon. Come join me and survive this coming Holocaust. The greatest Holocaust ever. Save as many people as you can. But at the same time, you don't have to die. Get out of the big cities. Find a farm while you still can. You are running out of time. Find a community of like-minded people and get a room, I mean a community, a neighborhood, a state where you can find like-minded people. Do it while you still can.

Genocide Coming

Because there may be over 7 billion people who support the globalist agenda, they will end up dying most likely in the next few years. You must be prepared for this probability or worst case scenario. Every day you're still not dead yet is precious. You get what you promote. Justice is coming. There are consequences and rewards for the actions we take in life. Will you buy smart underwear which will be connected to the NSA? How do we detox from the lead which is in the soil? I have a friend named Tim Osman. Please don't Google his name. You can make money posting to blockchain social networks, I can help you sign up for free, no credit cards, no money required. I post on these websites and I make money. I did not put any money into them. You can take the money out. You can wire the money to crypto exchanges, banks, wallets.

Protonmail Banned Me on my 36th birthday.

2021-02-11 - Thursday

Protonmail Banned Me on my 36th birthday.

Protonmail Banned Me on my 36th birthday. Step one, find out how many people died annually for the last ten years in your country. Step two, please post those statistics for each individual year including 2020 in your report. We will copy and paste what you find everywhere. Thank you very much. Leftists say you have to say chest, can't say your baby is sucking on your breasts. You have to say human milk. You cannot say it is the milk of the mother. Oh My God. Russia killed the ALL-MIGHTY DOLLAR! I hate you RUSSIA! Are you happy America is becoming Venezuela in the next few years or much sooner because you do nothing, isn't that really cool that you're helping this republic and the world crumble? Are you excited as millions of people die? Do you wake up each morning happy that you don't care about this? Covid Vaccine has over 5 different viruses which it programs and mass produces in your cells to eat up your body from the inside-out, to attack the proteins, to kill your babies, to give you HIV, to kill your immune system and cause you to die from the common cold within months to the extend you're lacking enough essential vitamins.

Regarding Gold-Backed Cryptocurrencies

But the idea of a gold-backed cryptocurrency could at least in theory become a 2-in-1 deal where it might be backed by gold and yet as a fail-safe if all else goes wrong, if governments and others come in to confiscate the gold, you would still have something like Bitcoin or whatever type of cryptocurrency it may be. I see that as a potential two in one deal. Of course the risks, liability, privacy risks of having governments seek to imprison people for having gold which might be connected to a cryptocurrency, I understand that might be too big of a risk in some situations, it may be harder to be anonymous if police were to spot you holding some gold. Finding ways to stay as anonymous online in the mist of tyranny is a worthy cause and that is why I value the 4th amendment of the U.S. constitution. Cartoons and other children shows are actively singing songs and otherwise encouraging toddlers to wear masks, to not shake hands, hug, or get close to other people; to simply not be humans at all, this will scar these kids for the rest of their lives, deep intellectual abuse.

Brother Joined Hive

2021-02-12 - Friday

My brother joined Hive - When I Was Young, Busted Knees, No Helmets, No Limits

Mother cries as insulin for his son who could die without it costs more than $500 even as it only costs pennies to make. Biden did this. Watch the video of this mother in her car video. Listen to her passion as she speaks truth. They say even after everyone on the planet is vaccinated, we still must have lockdown globally, even in ten years from now. Are you happy for living on Planet Wall-E as Fat People stuck in The Matrix? Over ten million starved to death in 2020 thanks to people staying at home and being safe. We kept ourselves so safe, we ended up dying because we had no food. We are so scared, we make the problem worse. The odds of coming up with the exact numbers of the 2020 U.S. General Elections, Mathematician Expert Edward Solomon says there aren't enough stars in the known universe to have it come up by chance apart from electronic manipulation, statistically, it's astronomical, he went on to say there aren't even enough atoms in the universe. Biden won exactly the same percentage points across multiple precincts at designated times a day just long enough to put him in the lead. One example in Fulton County, Georgia on starting at 12:54 AM on Wednesday, the 4th of November of 2020, the percentage was set 5.5555%, and every 30 minutes to an hour plus a few times on Thursday, that is eleven separate times, each time it was exactly 5.555% percent, and that is humanly impossible to replicate by hand without the help of voting software.

Elmo Vaccine

Elmo got the vaccine and people on Sesame Street are locked in their homes like as if they were living in China. Children are being brainwashed. This is worse than sexual abuse. Green means you can travel. Different colors means different things under the Chinese Credit Score which is going to Europe, Australia, Canada, and is also slowly getting into America. If the centralized powers don't like you or your friends, then you can't work, school, travel, buy, sell, have your kids, have Internet, have a phone plan, health care, police care, fire care, water, sewer, garbage, food, etc. There is an alleged James Clapper interrogation audio tape which I'm listening to right now.

Shoveling Snow

2021-02-13 - Saturday

Michelle Obama, "Joe Biden, get your hands off my dick."

Before getting the Covid Vaccine, read the ingredients, the insert. And tell yourself, oh, I am putting this thing in my body, that is awesome. And oh, I am putting this other thing in my body. It is not a vaccine. Ignorance is Bliss. It's cool when you don't know you don't know something. It's cool when millions of people are likely to die or very close to it in 2021 because of Covid Vaccines.

Money is Dying

Cannot wait for the dollar to die. A study found that over 80% of those who got Covid were vitamin-D deficient. And the Flu magically disappeared during the winter. If you're going off the CDC website, you should make a list of the exact numbers.

Happy Valentines Day

2021-02-14 - Sunday

Joe Biden in like 2003

Happy Valentines Day. America has been dead for 209 years. They try to kill people via nano bots which goes into the body to cause flu like symptoms. That is fused with 5G, geoengineering, chemicals, waves, a variety of things working together. You must actively try ten times harder to counter as much of it all as you can, your ignorance is bliss, your children will suffer to the extent you try not to counter things you are yet to know. I repeat, things you are yet to know. Apple cider vinegar, 2 tablespoons a day but broken up gradually throughout the day, can help you. Encouraging healthy pH blood level balance minimizes cancer, detoxifies the liver, dissolves viruses, and helps the heart. The brain-gut connection. Is it true the last U.S. President to take the oath for the united states for America was back in around 1812? Has America been dead for over two centuries now? Did you know there is a star inside our earth? Biden is telling Americans to wear masks until 2022.

Reducing Zombism

Candida is a type of fungus which helps decompose dead bodies but the problem comes when the people are still alive while Candida is excessively growing and eating up your body even before you are actually dead. Therefore, you want to look at fasting, at starving those little guys at least once every ten years if not as often as you can to minimize how much of them you have inside of your biology. Borax detoxes fluoride from the brain. Inside your body are the bad guys, the fungi, which wants your body to die, and the good guys, which are the bacteria which wants your body to live, that is the civil war within your chemical makeup. The pineal gland in our brain is a spiritual window into the Supernatural Internet which transcends space and time, it truly is the third eye, but fluoride blocks it. Does the earth have two moons?

Party at Five

2021-02-15 - Monday

Star Wars Luke Kenobi Father Vader Anakin Floor is Lava Game Sucks He Was And Died Hahaha Meme

Party at Five. RINOs are Republican In Name Only and PINOs are Patriots In Name Only. Thousands of refugees are being allowed into California and Texas from Mexico but without being tested for Covid, no masks, no safety. But if you want to go anywhere or do anything, you have to get tested. When immigrants come in, as they do right now, they are NOT being tested for anything really, they can pass on diseases to you and you are not allowed to do anything period.

Texas Freezing

2021-02-16 - Tuesday

Girl from Firefly show

A 28 YEAR OLD WISCONSIN MOM DIES DAYS AFTER SECOND PFIZER SHOT. Why are kids sneaking out of the White House? Is Tom Cruise part of an off-planet corporation called Umbrella? You can find really old videos on the Internet of really tall people, some of them may be 14 feet tall or taller as you can see people and horses almost reach the height of this man's knees. Did you really think those videos were fake? Many times you'll find truth hiding in plain sight. Truth is often lying underneath your nose all along. This takes the Mandela Effect to a whole new level. Is the South Pole actually the North Pole? It's below zero degrees in Texas right now, they refusing to turn the power back on as people freeze to death, they're shutting down stores as people starve to death, and they're refusing to plow roads. You can literally watch videos of giant semi-trucks crashing into other trucks, at least three giant trucks, one which was going at least 70 MPH and the others were going pretty fast too, several people died in just that pile up alone.

Who is Oatmeal Joey Arnold?

I am single, 36 years old, I live in Shelton, I am Christian, no kids, I live with my parents, I don't wear a mask ever, I listen to Alex Jones, I love Trump, I am a little bit crazy, I don't work. I don't have a job. I just sit on a computer all day writing on my blog and that is it. Was the inspiration behind the Star Gate movies and shows stolen from the Native American Indians? Weather manipulation meetings at your local town hall in a county or state near you, why are you not there to ask them questions? Things got so bad in India that they created a task force and then ended up banning the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. That's how EVIL India is. Hey folks, how could India keep out our SAVIORS? We all know Bill Gates is the second coming of Jesus Christ. Kissinger wrote a report back in the 1970s regarding how to control the African population.

Travel Post Banned For Not Being a Travel Post

2021-02-17 - Wednesday

White Culture Dont Have Any Joke Yes We Do

Texas Dark Winter to last for weeks, people are freezing and starving to death, people are so excited as the globalists take over the world, Biden said the Dark Winter was coming, he was right. Be prepared for a new biological weapon, a new Covid disease, coming either this year in 2021 or at least before 2025. It will kill at least 4 billion people. Don't tell me I didn't warn you. I'm on record trying to tell you how bad things are. If you're reading this, you're guilty of not caring. Please, do something. The clock is ticking. Will China be aiming nuclear weapons at 24 targets across the globe, will it be real, will it be staged, will it be an excuse to lockdown the world, what is going to happen? Will it be exactly 24 different places in different countries around this planet? Will this be a good thing or a bad thing? Will the good guys or the bad guys be able to take control of whatever that might happen in February of 2021? Will it be any day now? Will people fall for false flags? Is there anything we can do right now?

Bill Gates Over Biden

Biden won't speak to world leaders. Boris Johnson said Bill Gates is really the head of the G8. This is how globalism works. They're getting the general population used to the world being run by technocracy. In a secret video, Mark Zuckerberg told his Facebook staff he didn't trust the Covid Vaccine. So, why isn't Mark telling his 2 billion users this? Why keep such a thing a secret? In the 1960s, America asked Russia to start a world war against China but Russia declined. That was declassified.

Photoshop Funny

2021-02-18 - Thursday

1776 Put Mask On Americans No Way

Funny story today, somebody used photoshop to try to fool me ahahahahhaaa! Biden is taking over the Texan Power-Grid, red alert, warning warning. We know their plan. We know the patterns. They'll say deadlier strands are out there now. This will likely be by the fall of 2021 if not a lot sooner. The strands will generally be less deadly. But it's extremely coordinated, scripted, they will all try their best to make you gulp down this Kool-Aid of Death. Shifting into Techno-Scientific Dictatorship, they're phasing the general public to accept this shift in world history globally, most people are stuck in a trance and they do NOT even know it. Even if you tell them, they will say to you, "You are crazy." THEY'RE PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE SKY THAT MAKES THE SNOW GAY. The power grid was an attack on water-power devices, especially in the 1930s. Some people had water-powered devices. They didn't need electricity because they water-powered devices.

Scaring Children to Death

A ten year old was admitted to the hospital because he was losing weight because he was refusing to eat for so long because he was afraid he would get Covid and die. Sergeant Major said they don't call it a Lie-Berry for nothing. Did you know they used to have water-powered mechanical devices? You were not told real history. A lot of stuff covered up. Why not get back to water power? Aren't you even just a little bit curious? People had free electricity thanks to tap water in the early 1900s. So, why would people give that up? What happened? Why trade that in for a monthly electricity bill?

We Need County Coin

2021-02-19 - Friday

Lauren Chen was on Friday Night Tights

Steele mentioned the idea of CountyNet. Also, he mentioned an idea of a CountyCoin which loses value the farther away from the county the coin moves in order to incentivize investing back into the same community as opposed to going excessively and obsessively overseas aggressively, as in too much and too often. I confess I fell for fake news when I thought Babbit died. I was wrong. Steele says Wall Street and others stolen 100 trillion dollars. People in power plants in Texas were ordered to lower down, to power down to zero percent in most cases, the documents are here, you can read the documents, they were ordered to do this on purpose, this is KILLING PEOPLE, and YOU DO NOT CARE. Do you have no friends or family in Texas? 2021-02-14 - Sunday - 08:51 PM EST - The 14th of February of 2021 - DOE Order Number 202-21-1 was issued for Texas (ERCOT), for more info, go to Energy dot gov, their official government website.

Texas Being Murdered

The Department of Energy (DOE) was ordered to turn off the power in Texas which is causing people to die. They're literally murdering people and nobody cares. The evidence is right there, we can all grab and share it. But nobody cares that thousands to millions of Texans are starving and freezing to death. I said, to death. The Department of Energy told Texas they CANNOT produce more energy, that is why people are dying. DOE Order Number 202-21-1 mentions ERCOT (ISO), this document can be read on their official government website, you can go there, you can read it, you can pass it on to your friends, or you can let your friends die in the cold in Texas with no power. Texas electricity bill for your power, just this week now, went from $50 per Megawatt to over $9000 per Megawatt. Breaking News, Megan Fox is an Anti-Masker which means she is Pro-Vitamin, we are all going to die.

Why is Sweden banning masks?

2021-02-20 - Saturday

Alpha Heater

Why is Sweden banning masks? Many times, they ban people from YouTube but then let other upload the same videos or similar videos and profit from them. The Covid Vaccine is not a remedy but an operating system.

The Healthy American

2021-02-21 - Sunday

We Stole It Fair & Square

Stores are not legally allowed to discriminate or disrupt commerce which comes from even the customers who refuses to wear masks. Stores can say it's private property. However, because the stores are open to the public, thanks to the 4th amendment, thanks to other things as well, prohibiting customers is discrimination among other things as well. The maskless buyer is not trespassing if he or she is not disrupting commerce. Moreover, when you prohibit customers from stores, then you are engaging in the disruption of commerce which may be illegal among other things as well partly because the customers are part of the free market exchange system which we call commerce. Stopping customers means you are disrupting commerce. That is illegal. You should go to jail for disrupting commerce. It may be many different things, not just that. Stores and states must be held accountable for violating laws. Stores are public. They cannot enforce masks. Churches however are legally considered to be private and can enforce masks.

Weekly Oatmeal Show - Episode 001

2021-02-22 - Monday

Coco Cola White Polar Bear Fired For Being Too White

Sound of Freedom is a great movie. The only preparedness that counts is the preparedness that happens when you don't yet need it. One day without notice, you will wake up and you will go to an ATM and it will not work. You will have no food in your house for many weeks to many months or longer. It takes less energy to walk on two legs than it takes to run four legs. The majority of suicides are from white male adults. Second spot is held by black male adults. Why was Bill Gates thrown out of 32 countries? New monthly vaccines for the virus of the month. Are you excited? He said now we have to difficult work of "Untying this knot," that is code for crazy people have to be sent off to re-educational FEMA camps where they will either recant or be murdered.

Gina Carona Interview with Ben Shapiro

2021-02-23 - Tuesday

Gina Carona Interview with Ben Shapiro

Gina interview. Why did NASA stop looking for life on Mars in 1976, why did they transition after that to geology, to looking for rocks? Trump got over 80 million votes while Biden got less than 40 million. Why are so many world leaders saying Covid-19 is permanent? They refuse to test it on animals because it kills animals or worse. No animals were harm in the making of this post. God save the animals. I'm glad we skipped animal-testing.

Being Dead Due To Birth

2021-02-24 - Wednesday

Tell Me Your Secrets

The only time your name is written in all uppercase capital letters is on your tombstone and yet that is how it's formatted on birth certificates, when parents sign it IN CURSIVE LETTERS when you are born, that is necromancy. When they say you can't leave the hospital with your own newborn infant baby without signing it, that is theft or worse. Legally speaking, it is a literal death sentence as you are literally selling away your baby. You need to live in groups of at least ten people. Zombies will be coming from the big cities. Protect your family from the walking dead. Why are so many big people being arrested around the world each day? Why?

Who Controls The Military Right Now?

Was an executive order or other items signed officially in 2019 authorizing a former (allegedly incumbent) U.S. President full control of the military even up to 60 days after an alleged inauguration of a alleged new administration (that is the new but fake President of the possibly defunct United Corporate States of America) which would end in or around, approximately, on the 20th of March of 2021? Please let me know such things were not signed. Please let your friends know nothing at all happened in 2019 at all. I'm only asking. I have no idea what happened.

Captain Biden Flying Around Zapping Brown Kids

2021-02-25 - Thursday

Captain Biden Flying Around Zapping Brown Kids

My gender is oatmeal. That is the kind of sex or gender I am. In India, doctors are saying women who get the Covid Vaccines are showing signs of the beginning stages of sudden breast cancer. Wow. This is amazing. Sign me up. Now we can all be Booby-Free Angelina Jolie. Please stick ten of those things in my arms today. Quick, this cannot come fast enough. Make boobs not great again. Please tell your friends how awesome this is. Learn To Say No Just For One Day Article. Tree Court Article.

Globalist vs Brazil

In Brazil, they're trying to force the government to not only waive all liability for the Covid Vaccines but also to sign over military bases over to them as well, it's insane but crazy things happen daily if only you knew the half of it. Back to American news. The Supreme Court has committed treason against the constitution and the republic of these American states. They've ruled saying whoever cheats the most in an election gets to be the alleged president of this defunct fake corporation which we illegally call in all caps THE UNITED STATES OF [not 'for'] AMERICA. Cheating is not only allowed but now also endorsed by the highest court of the land.

My-Body-My-Choice No-Mask Sign

2021-02-26 - Friday

My-Body-My-Choice No-Mask Sign

Masks Causes Bacteria Pneumonia. My-Body-My-Choice No-Mask Sign. Their goal is to make all humans unable to naturally reproduce by 2030. Why is South Africa cancelling the Covid Vaccine? There is also related news in Brazil, India, etc. See, people are dying from vaccines. They've been spending billions to trillions of dollars covering up vaccine deaths for decades globally. They murder people who expose this or worse in most cases. You have no idea how bad it is. Bill Gates and others are involved in giving vaccines to people around the world. That is why Bill Gates is banned in so many countries. In other news, there may be someday selling cloned synthetic children meat to encourage people to eat. Hell, they may have it ready already. Celebrity meat actually. The only we defeat this invisible enemy is to decide our own destiny. 80% of people who died of Covid in Canada were in nursing homes. 101 Pocketball Journal Scans Uploaded.

Covid Vaccines Are Murdering People

Why are over 75% of U.S. military troops refusing the Covid Vaccine? Because vaccines kill people. But more than that, the Covid Vaccine is not a vaccine. It utilizes mRNA which turns your cells into virus factories. That is what mRNA is. See, the M on mRNA means MESSENGER. This is Basic Biology & Science 101 For Dummies here. The vaccine literally sends messages or mRNA into the cell nucleus to tell it to make specific items. Covid-19 and the alleged vaccines in response to it are both GMO-like chimera monsters. They're a combination of different viruses, different things, I'm talking Frankenstein on a microscopic level. I've been talking about this many times. That is why so many people and so many countries are saying no to the vaccines. And again, the Covid Vaccines are not even vaccines to begin with. I wouldn't even be surprised if nano-tech is involved among other things in regards to these things which are murdering people right now. Sadly, they're blaming the mRNA deaths on Covid. So, they're trying very hard to make you think that you need to take monthly vaccines. And the more people die, the more they'll say, "Hurry up, you need even more vaccines, etc." Remember, they have spent billions to trillions of dollars covering up vaccine deaths. They murdered many people who tried exposing them. Fake news would never tell you all of this because they're fake news.

Cleaned Out a Chicken House

2021-02-27 - Saturday

Alex Jones Predicting Covid-19 Back in 2010

Wear a mask or I'm calling the cops. Alright, call the cops. I'm suing them. In 2020, over 40 million alleged votes for Biden were fake. In 2008, it was reported that HAARP was learning how to steer hurricanes via high-atmosphere heat injection, kind of like guiding a kitten with a string. Watch out for Bioterrorism says Bill Gates. Which reminds me, kind of funny how Texas was suddenly colder than Montana. Wow. Out of nowhere. What happened on this day in 1933? Reich Fire. Hitler. Germany. Klaus Schwab says you will ONLY ONLY ONLY eat bugs and will love it.

What is in the Covid Vaccine?

Some of the ingredients for the mRNA Covid Vaccine includes some of the most commonly consumed things including vinegar, salt, sugar, plus a few very common preservatives found in so many food items. Too many people buy processed foods which includes preservatives in them. So, why are these commonly consumed items in the vaccine? It is there to trigger autoimmune responses in your body's immune system. It may takes years for your body to get there, but slowly over time, your body will begin to develop allergies to salt, sugar, vinegar, etc. These allergies may spiral out of control into even worse problems over time. Now, that is just the tip of the iceberg. But it is a good thing to start with and share with others. Don't believe me. Don't take my word for it. Go get a list of the ingredients to these vaccines and post them here. I will wait for your awesome responses. Thank you so much in advance for responding with the real list of ingredients. Prove me wrong. Easy to do. Just show me the ingredients. Show me these items, like salt, is not in the vaccine.

DEADLY-ALLERGIC to YOUR-OWN-BODY

2021-02-28 - Sunday

Covid Vaccine Ingredients

Your body will become DEADLY-ALLERGIC to YOUR-OWN-BODY. Why is Pfizer giving their customers one thing but their staff a different thing? Pfizer got a new drug out which is going to help people deal with one of the side-effects of their own vaccines. So, they make money trying to fool you into getting one and then even more money when you have to come back to take some of their drugs to deal with the deadly side-effects. Have fun, kids. You WILL swell up like a balloon. I warned you. Why were thousands to millions of 2020 ballots had computer-printed vote marks as opposed hand-written vote marks all for Biden and none for Trump?

Trump 2024 is Retarded

Downvote because Trump won in 2020. See, they can steal it from Trump in 2024 too. We have to call for FORENSIC-STYLE ballot audits in each county each day. Call people. Email people. You can make a difference. Call the military. Call Congress. Call judges. Write letters. Protest in person. Make videos. Write articles. Share things everywhere. Do something. If you are reading this and you are doing nothing, then you deserve Biden and the Chinese takeover of America.

Who is Oatmeal Joey Arnold?

Telling The Truth in a World of Lies

Biden Law, Five Years Lockdown Plan

Canada Kidnapping Themselves

All About Hive Blog

Alex Jones and DR. STEVE PIECZENIK

Are you ready for Weapons of Mass Distraction?

Amazon Spies

I was banned on Bittrex

My Cash App is $joeyarnoldvn

Cronyism Sucks

Gold-Backed Crypto

Protonmail Banned Me on my 36th birthday

Brother Joined Hive

Shoveling Snow

Happy Valentines Day

Party at Five

Texas Freezing

Travel Post Banned For Not Being a Travel Post

Photoshop Funny

We Need County Coin

Why is Sweden banning masks?

The Healthy American

Weekly Oatmeal Show - Episode 001

Gina Carona Interview with Ben Shapiro

Being Dead Due To Birth

Captain Biden Flying Around Zapping Brown Kids

My-Body-My-Choice No-Mask Sign

Cleaned Out a Chicken House

DEADLY-ALLERGIC to YOUR-OWN-BODY

3 notes · View notes

sluttysan · 5 years

Text

more than friends [m]

✰pairing: kim hongjoong × reader

✰word count: 3.9k

✰genre: smut, fluff; friendship into relationship

✰summary: through the help of san and mingi, you and hongjoong finally admit your feelings for each other and things get a little heated

You were in the kitchen with San and Hongjoong, who were helping you prepare the popcorn and drinks for the movie night you were having. Mingi was in your living room, picking out which movie to watch, and it was a night that you anticipated for quite some time. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t had a movie night with them before, but this time it was different. This time they were staying over at your apartment.

Movie nights became routine for you and the boys. They usually had the movie night at their dorm, but you didn’t sleep over, considering that there were five other members–it was just too crowded. Plus, you were really only close with a select few, and honestly you didn’t mind it, especially since you’ve had a thing for one of them for a while. As a matter of fact, you were busy staring at him in the kitchen, daydreaming instead of helping out. San definitely noticed that, and he couldn’t miss the opportunity to do what he did next.

“Hey Hongjoong,” San called, his voice snapping you right back to reality. You were right by San, and as Hongjoong turned to face in your direction, you jolted, quickly diverting your eyes away from him. You stuffed a bag of popcorn in the microwave and turned it on, then quickly turning around like that was you had been doing that entire time. San couldn’t help but chuckle at you, making it obvious that his intentions were to mess with you.

“Yeah?” Hongjoong approached the two of you, his eyes locking with yours, giving you a quick smile before facing San. Your breath staggered, but you quickly composed yourself.

“Mingi’s taking forever to pick a movie. Why don’t you help him out? Y/N and I got it from here.”

“Sure.” Just like that, Hongjoong was out of the kitchen, your daydreaming officially coming to an end. You turned to face the microwave, avoiding any interaction with San, because you had a feeling he was not going to let that slide.

“So,” he started, and you sighed. “When are you going to tell him?” San asked, crossing his arms and wiggling his eyebrow.

“I don’t know…”

The microwave beeped, and you grabbed the popcorn out of there, pouring it into a bowl. A couple of pieces fell on the counter, and San picked them up and threw them at you.

“Hey!”

“Y/N, don’t avoid the subject. It’s been months.”

San was right, it had been months since you started falling for Hongjoong. It was weird, because you were just too close with the guys, that the thought of falling for one of them didn’t even cross your mind.

It happened gradually. You spent so much time with him, but during that time, you had always seen him as a friend. Out of the guys, you spent the most time with Hongjoong, and you’ve known all of them for a long time. Up until a couple of months back, you didn’t think of being more than friends with him, but when you started falling for him, it was quite the roller coaster ride. You had to rethink everything. Your thoughts wandered, and you began daydreaming about him a lot.

It didn’t take long before your heart started beating faster around him and you felt butterflies in your stomach each time he smiled at you. You didn’t understand what was going on at first, not wanting to be accepting of the fact you were into your closest friend; you always cherished your friendship with him, and you knew it would be awkward if he didn’t feel the same way–you definitely didn’t want to risk losing your friendship.

Even with your feelings for him, you were still close friends with Hongjoong. In fact, the reason why you stayed so sane with it all was because you’ve told San everything. You were hesitant at first, considering they’re pretty close, but you ended up telling him because you just couldn’t keep it to yourself anymore. You felt as though you had to tell somebody, and there was no doubt in your mind that San would keep your secret. San was always someone you could confide in, but he was also a pain in the ass, for he loved teasing you about Hongjoong.

“Geez Y/N, are you still daydreaming about him?”

Once again San brought you back to reality from your lingering thoughts. He picked up the popcorn bowl and handed it to you, tilting his head in the direction of the living room. You towards the living room to see Mingi standing at the kitchen doorway, and you jumped. He was leaning against the frame and had a shocked look on his face. When his eyes met with yours, a small smirk crept on his face. Your eyes went from him to San, and you could tell that he was thinking the same thing as you. Mingi probably heard everything, but if not, he at least heard that last part San said about you daydreaming about Hongjoong. Internally, you were freaking out, but you were going to do your best to act like nothing happened.

“We should go to the living room now.”

You grabbed the bowl from San, trying to rid of any thoughts you had of Hongjoong before heading over to the living room. At least you were good at acting like you weren’t into him.

“Did you pick a movie?”

“We picked Napoleon Dynamite,” he replied, patting the cushion beside him to get you to sit down.

“Oh, a classic comedy,” you remarked as you plopped down on the couch, placing the popcorn in front of you, before turning your head to San and Mingi, who were then out of the kitchen. “Now, did Mingi pick that, or--”

The sound of the two boys whispering to each other brought your question to a halt. They quickly caught your attention, and you needed to know what they were talking about. It seemed oddly suspicious, and it felt as though they were plotting something, and it was clear that San was the one who instigated it. You couldn’t take your eyes off of them, wondering if they were talking about what had just happened in the kitchen. About the fact that you liked Hongjoong. “San wouldn’t do that,” you thought. Then San caught you staring at them, and he faked a cough and nudged at Mingi, who in return glances at you then sits down on the couch right next to yours, as if nothing was going on. You gave San a look, and he smirked, making you roll yours eyes.

Hongjoong, unaware of the tension, answered your question, making you turn your attention back on him. “I picked it. Mingi went to the kitchen as soon as I came into the living room. Of course he’d give me the responsibility.” He chuckled, not realizing that he just confirmed what you have been dreading-- Mingi for sure heard everything, and there was no denying it.

You were still confused on what San could possibly be telling him, because you knew he wouldn’t tell anyone; he had promised you he wouldn’t. Still, you couldn’t help but feel as though they were talking about you. Maybe you were overreacting. It would make sense. They might be talking about something else. You sighed and turned your head away from them, leaning into the couch cushions.

“Alright guys, let’s start the movie,” you said as you let out another breath.

Hongjoong started the movie and you wanted so badly to actually watch it and pay attention to it. However, you couldn’t find yourself to do so, for your mind was just filled with worries and if you had to be honest with yourself, Hongjoong was also in your mind. The fact that San and Mingi left you two alone on the couch made you extremely nervous. You were still trying to figure out what Mingi had heard, and what San was telling him just then.

It wasn’t until Hongjoong went to grab some popcorn, that you were taken from your train of thoughts. Earlier, you had placed the bowl right across from you, and as he went to reach for it, he accidentally hit your thigh. You flinched from his touch and he was startled from your sudden movement.

“Oh, sorry,” he mumbled and his eyes met with yours. Usually you were good at keeping eye contact with him, but with all those thoughts previously in your head, you found it hard to even look him in the eyes. Instead your eyes went from his eyes to his lips, and you gulped. Your mind was now filled with thoughts of kissing him. You parted your lips slightly and couldn’t get your eyes off of him. You didn’t even bother to look away-- it was like you felt as if you didn’t really have anything to lose anymore. If Mingi knew, Hongjoong would soon figure out. You had it in the back of your mind that there really wasn’t much to risk anymore.

That, and the fact that you felt something different with Hongjoong. For a second, it seemed as though he couldn��t get his eyes off of you either. Maybe you just didn’t pay as much attention to him as you did today, but you at the same time, you couldn’t tell if that was because he thought you were being strange or if he actually felt the same way you did. You made it obvious at that point that you liked him. Your boldness mixed with the look in your eyes--the way your eyes kept going to his lips--exposed that to him. A shy smile formed on his face, and something compelled you to inch closer to him. As soon as you did, San stood up from the couch. You had a feeling he was watching you.

“Oh, crap. Y/N, I have to go pick something up from the pharmacy.” He headed toward the door and Mingi followed, corroborating his excuse to leave.

“Oh yeah, you told me earlier. I’ll go with you. It’s pretty late, so you shouldn’t go alone. Don’t want anything to happen to you on the way there.”

“Wait what?” You questioned them, breaking your eyes off of Hongjoong and turning around to face them. He cleared his throat and shifted around as San replied to you.

“Sorry?” He shrugged with a grin on his face as Mingi opened the door. They were obviously trying hard not to laugh. “We’ll be back in a bit.” Just like that, they were out the door before you could say another word.

Hongjoong let out a nervous laugh. “What just happened?”

You shook your head and couldn’t help but laugh at your situation. You had a hunch that San would do something like that. That son of a bitch. He planned this all along.

“You know how San is. He is something else.” You went back to watching the movie, which had about fifteen minutes of it left, completely forgetting that moment you had with Hongjoong. “Wow, I didn’t realize how much of the movie is left.”

“What do you mean?”

His question caught you by surprise. “I guess maybe I wasn’t paying that much attention to the movie...”

“No, I mean about San.” He paused the movie and shifted his whole body to face you. He raised his leg on the couch, and his knee gently grazed the side of your thigh. This time, however, he didn’t seem bothered that he hit your thigh. His entire body was open your way, and his body language was different than before. He seemed…confident. He had one of his elbows propped on the side of the couch as he waited for your answer.

You gulped, eyes wide and attempted to change the conversation with your answer. Your voice was low and dismissive.

“Hongjoong, San and Mingi are always doing weird things. I’m not surprised. That's all I meant by that.”

“Y/N, I’ve known them for forever. So, I’m concerned you genuinely think that was normal.”

You reached for the remote and he took your hand, then moved closer to you. You could tell he as a little apprehensive, as he looked down at his hand the second he realized that he grabbed it. He let go, apologizing.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to...It’s just...” He sighed and plead with you. “Y/N, come on. You know you can tell me anything. We’re close. What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” You stood up, your nerves all over the place. The boldness you exhibited prior to San and Mingi leaving was nonexistent. Once again, Hongjoong’s hand took yours.

“You were going to kiss me, Y/N.”

You froze, finally giving in, sitting back down. You finally looked him in the eyes. He had a puzzled look on his face, his eyebrows slightly furrowed.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Hongjoong.”

“Y/N. You don't have to be so cold all of a sudden. You have to understand my confusion,” he sighed.

You slowly nodded, attempting to come up with something to say, but you couldn’t. It got quiet, and you looked back down at your lap, your face burning from embarrassment. Before you could confess, he asked you a question you didn’t expect.

“Did Mingi tell you anything?”

“Mingi? Why would he tell me anything?”

Hongjoong pursed his lips. “Oh, um, no reason. I’m just shocked you--”

“Wait. Hold on.”

It didn't take you long to connect the dots. Everything started to come together. San and Mingi unmistakably were talking about you liking Hongjoong. You knew that part. But you also knew San wouldn’t suddenly tell Mingi that you liked Hongjoong, unless...Mingi knew something you and San didn't know. And he just happened to tell San about it when he heard about how you felt about Hongjoong. It all made sense now. You chuckled in disbelief, feeling a whole weight lifted off your shoulders. Hongjoong looked at you, perplexed, but before he could say anything, you questioned him.

“Do you like me, Hongjoong? Did you tell Mingi that? Is that why you didn't move away when...”

Hongjoong’s face flushed from your line of questioning, but it was very obvious what the answers to those questions were. “D-Don’t turn this on me.”

You gave him a very suggestive face, hoping he would come to the same conclusion as you, and he laughed.

“No, seriously, Y/N. You haven’t answered any of my questions.”

You gave him a second to process where you were getting. He paused and began connecting the dots for himself. You could see him thinking with his eyes. His expression was really telling when the realization finally settled with him, and his lips parted in shock. Amusement then filled both of your faces.

“I can’t believe...San and Mingi...” Hongjoong began, attempting to keep his composure.

“I know.”

“What exactly happened in that kitchen after I left? Everything was so different when the three of you walked out. I need to hear this.”

And so you told him everything, from the daydreaming, to Mingi walking in, to noticing that San and Mingi were plotting something. It was hilarious how the two of them decided to deal with the new information they found out. In unison, the two of you burst into laughter. You didn't know how else you could react. This realization meant that neither of you needed to hide your feelings from each other. It was a laughter of relief more than anything else. It was so new to you both.

When you settled from your laughing fit, you rested your head on the couch, sighing, and Hongjoong did the same. You were facing each other, and once again you grew shy, looking away from his gaze. His hand found yours once again. He kissed your hand.

“Don’t be like that.” He inched closer to you. “I like you. If that hasn’t been obvious enough.”

You smiled. “I know. I think it’s obvious I��like you, too.”

His thumb massaged your knuckles, and you could tell you two were getting to the serious part.

“You’re not sure about us, are you?”

“I don’t want to lose this.”

“Lose what, Y/N?” He let go of your hand and held your face, making you look at him. “You’re not losing anything.”

“Our friendship. What if we don’t work out?”

“What makes you think we won’t work out? We’re still going to be friends. Just friends who...Hold hands. Kiss. Sleep together.”

You playfully hit him. “‘Sleep together’? Hongjoong! We haven't even kissed yet.”

“I obviously meant as in share a bed!” He chuckled.

“Oh!” you laughed, and he smirked.

You knew you were more than open to do more than sleep in bed with him. You could feel the spark between the two of you. It felt surreal. You stared at him, and his face became stern. It grew silent. He pulled you to him until your face was only an inch away from his. You nodded, giving him the signal to go on and give you both what you’ve been craving for. He closed his eyes and placed a chaste kiss on your lips, one that felt like it stopped time. His soft lips remained attached to yours, taking their time to savor the moment.

Without giving it a second thought, you pushed yourself in the kiss, finding yourself on top of him. His hands naturally grabbed your sides. You rolled your hips into his, and he breathed into you. Your tongues caught each other as you continued, his growth beneath you becoming more apparent by the second. Then you pulled away, and his eyes opened, completely charmed by you. He smiled as you pushed his hair out of his face lovingly.

“We don’t have to do anything more than kissing, Y/N,” he breathed, and you believed him. “We could finish the last fifteen minutes of the movie,” he laughed.

“I know.” You smiled back and caressed his face. “But I want to.”

He bit his lip, blinking slowly with a smirk on his face, leaning back to let you take over. You continued kissing him, his grip on your side only getting firmer. He moaned as your heat continued rolling onto his constrained member, and he grabbed your hands from his face and pushed them down to his jeans.

Without hesitation, you unbuttoned his jeans and pulled his zipper down. You didn't waste any time to pull the waistband of his underwear down, as well, to reveal his hard cock. He moaned loudly as you rubbed his exposed member, your palm making contact and exploring his length. Unable to handle it, Hongjoong promptly pushed you down on the couch, his hands going straight to your breasts, tenderly cupping them under your shirt. He kissed your lips, this time with more lust.

One of his hands moved to explore you, giving you chills as it roamed further down your body, heading to your dampened panties. When he reached them, he slipped a hand under your clothed core, his fingers sliding against your wet folds. Upon feeling how wet you were for him, he couldn’t help but push them aside right away.

Hongjoong took his member and ran it up and down your folds before slowly entering you. He groaned loudly from the sensation, almost collapsing on top of you. A moan evoked from you as he continued to fill you up, and the two of you completely melted into each other.

He kissed you sweetly, and there was some irony with how innocent it was considering there was no innocence involved in what you were doing. However, it was more than just sex. The vulnerability and lack of judgment called for something greater. The look in his eyes expressed more than just lust at that moment, and somehow through all the waiting and neediness, they were still sweet and patient and understanding. You bucked your hips up against him, taking in more of him, giving him the cue to move inside you.

Just like that, he pulled out and pushed himself back into you, already causing you to curl your toes into the cushions. He held your hands tighter as he repeated the movement, thrusting into you faster each time you moaned. He kept his head above yours, placing more kisses, nibbling your bottom lip and moaning into your mouth. You felt euphoric with every thrust that filled you up and the pleasure alongside the vibrations from his groaning provoked goosebumps and chills to hit every spot on your body. Hongjoong grew more dominant, pushing your hands above your head, pinning you down as he thrusted faster, moving the couch with him.

He was close, and he threw his face into your collarbone, breathily mumbling it into your skin as he slowed down his thrusts. He let go of one of your hands so he could further stimulate your clit with his fingers, so that you were able to reach your high before his. He moved from your collarbone to your lips, kissing you a few times before he also reached his climax pushing into you harder than he could control.

As he released himself, he took a moment to calm down and thrusted a few more times before pulling out of you. He rose up off of you, adjusting himself and pulling you with him. The two of you stayed silent for a little bit, taking in the moment that you just had with each other. He pushed your hair back and kissed your forehead.

“I can’t believe we just did that.”

“Me either.” You placed a hand on his chest and gave him a peck. “It all happened so fast.”

“So fast? Ouch, Y/N. I couldn’t help it...I tried lasting as long as I could.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” you giggled. “I meant us together. I didn’t expect things to go down like this.”

“Good.” He placed his hand over his chest in relief and chuckled. “I promise I tried to make it to where you could enjoy it, too.”

“Don’t worry, I definitely enjoyed it,” you chimed, already reminiscing.

“Better than daydreaming I’m sure,” he teased. You rolled your eyes.

“That’s so embarrassing. I can’t believe I told you that…”

“Now you’re shy around me?” Hongjoong couldn’t help but tease you a bit, clearly amused by your shyness, especially since you were previously so bold with him.

“Yes! It’s different now.”

“Don’t worry, I daydreamed about you, too,” he reassured you. “I just hope you won’t be this shy for too long, considering I’m your boyfriend, and all. Although, it’s kind of cute.”

You placed your head back on his chest and let out a long breath of content. He then laid himself down on the couch, placing you on top of him. You closed your eyes and burying yourself further into his warmth. He began rubbing your back, as he knew both of you were very worn out and ready to sleep from the exhausting and eventful night. His breath was getting deeper, and you could tell he was falling asleep.

“Hongjoong?”

“Mhm?”

“I didn’t realize how sneaky those two could be. That pharmacy excuse was horrible,” you stated, laughing. You felt his chuckle vibrate against you.

“They’re creative, I’ll give them that.”

Feeling his heartbeat erased any worries you had previously roaming through your head, and you nestled into the crook of his neck. He gave you another kiss.

“We’re going to hear about this tomorrow from the guys, aren’t we?”

“Yep. That’s why I’m staying over. Maybe for a few days. I’m definitely not ready to deal with them.” He sighed deeply, speaking gently as he continued to rub your back to get you to sleep as well. “Now, go to sleep, babe.”

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