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daportalpractitioner · 5 months

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mommy's moon sign: a thread ☾ part one — aries thru virgo

in a previous post, i mentioned that your mother's moon sign is very important in the sense that it tells us about the energy that was housing us during our prenatal development when we are baking in our mother's womb. during prenatal development, we are able to download our mother's experiences during pregnancy, emotions, attitudes, behaviors, and karmic patterns into our own DNA. the cosmic energy of her womb space tells us about patterns + themes that potentially lie dormant within our bodies with the desire to be either expressed or karmically released + healed for our highest good.

aries moon: your mother may have dealt with feeling misunderstood from a very early age due to her karmic responsibility to be a pioneer in this lifetime. even if she grew up close with her family, a part of her may have felt like she didn't fit in with the expectations that her parents had for her. the pain that aries moon mom carries in her womb stems from feeling like she has to do everything by herself + could also have had a pattern of attracting partners that she didn't feel supported by (classic single mom placement). a karmic lesson for aries moon mom to learn is to fully trust her feminine nature instead of constantly operating in her masculine so that she can attract the support that she has always desired since childhood. if you're a child of an aries moon mom, you could also have a pattern of experiencing loneliness + finding it difficult to cultivate supportive spaces because you witnessed your mom be so independent even in times where she didn't want to be. it's also not uncommon for children of aries moon mothers to exhibit or pass down disorganized attachment behaviors to their children. encourage each other to let other people help + support you. encourage each other to welcome vulnerability into the connection + value the act of processing/healthily releasing your emotions, especially rage.

taurus moon: mothers with an exalted moon usually do a great job at making their children feel safe, nurtured, and provided for on a physical + emotional level. when pregnant with you, your mother could have really valued her pregnancy + put lots of energy into preparing for your arrival. she could be very sensitive to your needs without even considering her own. from an early age, taurus moon mom had to learn to rely on herself to get things done first + foremost especially if she came from poverty or an unstable household. the self-esteem of your mother during pregnancy is crucial to your karmic imprint as you easily embed the way she feels about herself into your DNA + eventually grow to exhibit the same self-esteem patterns. it's important for the taurus moon mom to feel safe using her voice + exercising boundaries, especially when it comes to herself and what SHE needs. encourage each other to practice self-care + self-preservation. take yourselves out on nice mother/child dates. the key for taurus moon mom is to learn how to stop operating in survival mode, to welcome rest into her lifestyle + to not let motherhood become an experience that depletes her.

gemini moon: your mama may have dealt with a lot of movement (physical or mental) while pregnant with you, jumping from one place to another. the energy of a gemini moon's womb breeds natural chaos. focusing on tasks may have been a challenge for your mother, which tends to manifest into self-neglect due to being so preoccupied with the matters of the world. even if you haven't been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD or some form of neurodivergence, the expression of this mental energy can definitely be dormant in your DNA due your mother absorbing information to a hypersensitive degree during pregnancy. intentionality is key to foster a secure + safe relationship with a gemini moon mother as there is this tendency to develop preoccupied attachment patterns. make sure that you are really listening to each other instead of allowing words to go in one ear + out the other. communication goes a long way in cultivating a healthier relationship to mama. encourage each other to prioritize mental health + doing activities that feel nourishing to the brain (reading, writing, immersing selves in nature, art, etc). also, make sure that you're holding your gemini moon mother to her word if she is notorious for switching up.

cancer moon: your mother's pregnancy was undeniably significant to her on a karmically spiritual level. your ancestors, especially maternal, really do not play about you two as they protected your mother heavily when she carried you. giving birth to you was no mistake as your soul chose to expand her bloodline. cancer moon mothers may have went through their own personal issues with their mother (your grandma) that they hold resentment from in their wombs. these tensions are meant to be transmuted into breakthroughs for generational healing + curse breaking. her maternal instincts are her superpower, being able to guide you in any situation you need help in. even if you're not close with your cancer moon mom, her love does remain unconditional as she recognizes that you are a part of her + she is a part of you. even though mothering comes natural to the cancer moon mom, she easily could have felt the weight of motherhood + remained passive about how much of a responsibility it was, carrying all that load by herself. whether your mother was able to breastfeed you or not says a lot about the karmic disposition between you + your mama.

leo moon: your leo moon mother may have been super excited to be a mother yet also dealing with adjusting to the level of maturity required to be a mom. becoming a mother was probably not on her bingo card the year that you were conceived so the necessary growth that needed to take place was challenging + unexpected. motherhood may have triggered a sense of fear in your mother during her pregnancy with you because she didn't want to part with her youth just yet (classic teenage mom placement). regardless of her situation, she takes pride in being a mother + is very protective over her cub(s). she's the type of mother you can call to cuss out the school when there's an issue. i'd encourage you to keep her inner child alive + well by spending quality time doing things that make you both happy. leo moon mamas usually pass down at least one of their passions to their children, especially if they engaged with that passion during pregnancy. they love spending time with their children more than anything so don't be afraid to do something wild + fun that can free your mother's inner child. when your mom is connected to her inner child, it also connects her deeper to motherhood for she is able to relate to the experience of a child more + is able to distribute compassion to her child(ren) when needed.

virgo moon: it's not uncommon for virgo moon mothers to have experienced lots of angst when pregnant with you, especially if this was their first pregnancy. what isn't expressed + released in a healthy way stays trapped in the mind of the virgo moon mom, manifesting into anxiety. if anxiety was a theme for your mother while she was pregnant with you + it remained undealt with, then there's a big possibility that anxiety is something you've experienced on a chronic level as well. virgo moon mothers also deal with overcoming perfectionism — wanting to the perfect mother + projecting perfectionism onto her child(ren), so if you mother was hard on you growing up, that is why. if you are challenged by the illusions of not being good enough, this is probably something you've also picked up on from your mom during your time in her womb. but because of their will + dedication to be the best, virgo moon moms make very good caretakers as they are empathically connected to the needs of their children + are not satisfied until they can tell that their children are satisfied. even when virgo moon moms can be tough on their kids, remember that they are their own toughest critic + they really do mean well. i'd recommend being of service to your mother in any way that can lighten the load on her as virgo moon mothers tend to have a lot of their to-do lists. words of affirmation also goes a long way in gifting them peace of mind, especially from their children as they tend to be overthinkers when it comes to motherhood.

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illiteratethekid · 11 months

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I had to cataloge this. reddit post from r/offmychest

u/BigBingus1337

I (27F) have been struggling with an extremely disgusting problem for 14 years, and I need help.

nsfw

(CW)

Content warning:

Strong depiction of bodily fluids (excrement, urine)

Suicide attempts

Depression

Physical/Sexual/Emotional Abuse

Sexual discussion

Self harm

Just a lot of awful stuff

(CW)

Please be warned, this is an extremely gross, explicit, and hard to handle post. I'm not making this up. This isn't a joke. I'm in a lot of pain. I've tried a lot and I don't know what to do anymore.

I feel helpless, ashamed, disgusted, and sub-human.

It's only now after 14 years of this cycle that I've become so, *so* tired of hiding my shame that I can talk about it publicly and reach out for more help, or at least get this off my chest.

If I seem distant or use wack-ass language, it's because I've lived this way for too long to get hung up on making any of this fit "acceptable" language.

It's impossible.

I'm also well aware that this might get memed into oblivion, shared around like "look at this lmao gross", and laughed at.

I get it. I can sort of see how in a sick, fucked-up kind of way this could be funny from an outside perspective.

Comedy helps people cope, ridiculing others is a maladaptive way of comforting oneself.

What I worry about is people not reading this with empathy or a desire to understand, and would rather trash on me and reinforce the hatred I already have for myself and my behaviors.

So just fuckin... be cool.

Please.

For the past 14 years, I haven't been able to stop fingering my ass, defacating on towels/toiletpaper and urinating in bottles/towels/tp/etc.

It has caused me to live in unsanitary, isolating, shameful, and disgusting conditions.

It has cost me my health, happiness, safety, relationships, living situations, and on several occasions, it's caused me to attempt suicide.

I am scared of being somehow shamed more than I shame myself by posting this. I've sought professional help, and it hasn't worked regardless of if its my fault or the help.

About me:

I'm 27, I have a decent job, a good group of friends, recent-ish-ly single, handful of great and awful partners, etc.

I'm trans, she/her. (Please don't be weird. I struggled with this problem well before I had any inkling of gender stuff. That's not how it works)

I've been diagnosed with ADHD, ASD, and Clinical Depression.

I have taken pretty standard adhd medication for the last 8 years

I have tried 5 different SSRIs with at best, no effect, and at worst, full blown serotonin syndrome, mild psychosis, and seizures.

Over the years, I've seen 4 therapists for a couple years at a time.

All of which were actually wonderful help for understanding and coping with trauma, depression, ADHD, ASD, and sexual/physical/emotional abuse.

I haven't been able to mend this specific problem, even with their help.

The formatting of this post is really choppy mainly because it's comprised of notes I've taken on this issue in notepad++

Some of it might seem detached or "clinical" because of this.

I use these notes to help analyze the behaviors that are happening and the different emotions and motivators at play.

I have always struggled on-and-off with keeping my personal spaces clean due to whatever cocktail of adhd, depression, asd, whatever.

Trash, rotting food, disorganization, dirty bed, etc.

I'd say it would be 70% as bad as a typical "neckbeard-nest" image you would see.

Never piles so high I couldn't see or leave my space, but, certainly enough to be playing hop-scotch to get around.

Both the depression messes and the defecating problem have gone through cycles of getting slightly better, getting much worse, better again ,etc.

Potential reasons for being Motivated/compelled/habitual fingering my ass for a combination of 2 reasons:

ASD Stimming/comfort/sexual stimulation from prostate when feeling... *something*

Attempts to identify that something lead to maybe these?

- Potentially feeling bored/understimulated

- An emptiness emotionally

2. ASD Sensory issues around feeling unclean after shitting, e.g. still feeling shit inside me and disgust/frustration with how that interferes with #1?

Earliest possible memory/origin of behavior:

Exploring my body/masturbating with anal stimulation around age 12-13.

As with anyone who's done anal, "shit happens", especially when you don't know about cleaning yourself out.

I would end up coming into contact with shit, not knowing what to do, and just wiping it on toilet paper or towels.

I would hide the evidence because I was ashamed and embarrassed.

An unfortunate part of this habit is that fingering your ass causes a feeling of need to urinate.

Whenever I finger my ass, I urinate into toilet paper, a bottle, a container.

This affects my living space by making it unsanitary, extremely unpleasant, and isolating.

This leads to even more unsanitary conditions, more avoidance, procrastination, and shame.

The unsanitary conditions cause a rolling chain of dependency/vicious cycle

For example:

- An area gets gross or unpleasant (typically the bathroom first)

- That area is now more difficult to reach both physically and emotionally

- Procrastination/avoidance/shame/refusal to clean the area

- I am unable to use that area, leading to shitting and pissing in a pile elsewhere

- Causing more spread out messes

- repeat until harsh physical/social consequences or suicidality take hold

- then clean everything top to bottom and try to not get in the cycle again

I always end up back in the cycle.

The anxiety & helplessness around my struggles with this make it impossible to have anyone over

I am too ashamed to ask for help, or accept it when offered.

Friends know I'm depressed and struggle with keeping my spaces clean, but I never tell them the full story. Usually a half-truth.

I often tell my friends they can't come over because "my place is like a wreck, like unsanitary bad".

Which isn't *exactly* wrong, but isn't representative of how bad things actually are.

I feel like the 2 people in my life I've told the real, full details of this to, don't actually understand how bad it really is. They know I've had a *history* of issues with it.

I can't bring myself to tell them that its something I'm still struggling with *now*

The above is driven by shame.

I've done property damage. I've let wet piss soaked towels sit for weeks on beautiful wooden floors, bleaching them and stripping them of their varnish.

I've ruined and thrown out dozens of towels, sheets, carpets.

I've had to cut dried shit out of my own clothing or throw them away.

I've had to throw away wonderful gifts loving family and friends have given me because they were destroyed when I knocked over a months old piss bottle.

I had to steam clean my own shit stains out of carpet when moving out of an old apartment.

I remember sitting there, breaking down at seeing the damage I've caused.

I was so overwhelmed by my own disgust and hatred for my existence.

I got my handgun, put a magazine in, and put it in my mouth, and without a second of hesitation, pulled the trigger.

It sounds kinda dramatic, but I don't remember if I forgot to rack the slide on purpose or by mistake.

Somehow I'm glad I didn't, but there are many times I have regretted not doing it.

When I was in my teens my parents would discover/"catch" me living this way a couple times.

My parents did not handle finding out in a safe or loving way.

Shocker, I know.

They screamed at me that I'll lose all my housing opportunities, friends, and safety net if someone finds out.

And they aren't wrong about the consequences, but all they did was punish me, beat me, strip me of my privacy by removing my door from it's hinges, my healthy hobbies, shame me, and held no space for understanding or help.

They called it a fetish.

It was not.

However in the past year I've explored scat videos. I don't even like it. It's like a sick desperation for understanding what's wrong with me.

I've never in my 14 year history enjoyed living in my own filth.

I think my short exploration of scat as a porn category was just coping with trauma and uncertainty through a sexual lens.

Just fantasizing that I could convince myself its as simple as a fetish or desire, and because of that, it would be okay.

It's not.

It's not a fetish.

I don't enjoy this. I hate this.

This is extremely debilitating, and I don't deserve to go through this, but I can't seem to find a way to stop.

I feel deep shame and unsafety in regards to people finding out, telling them, or anyone helping because they won't understand.

It's hard to put into words how impossible it feels to break this habit.

It feels like when someone tells you the only way to get better is to "love yourself".

Like... what the fuck does that even mean? How? How can you do that if you don't value your own love? Monopoly money has more value than that.

Therapy has helped me cope with those nagging feelings for things like depression, abuse, self-worth, etc.

But changing this behavior feels as impossible as changing the laws of physics.

How do you sit with yourself, the 14th year of trying to outwit your own habits that try to kill you, remove you from society, and ruin everything you love, and say "Well this attempt it's gonna work!" and feel any sort of actual hope? Sure it's writing a fatalistic narrative for myself, and sure it sounds like I've resigned myself to this. What the fuck do I do?

The really sad thing is that I'm not the only one out there who struggles with this weird compulsive fingering and defecation issue.

A quick google search of the behavior leads to a couple forums/quora-like sites of people talking about this behavior and how they can't stop and don't know what it is.

They're desperately trying to find a reason or help. As far as I can tell, they never do.

So its like... what the hell are my chances if dozens of other people are struggling too?

I know my physical safety might concern people reading this. I'm at a point in therapy where suicide really just isn't on the menu for me anymore. I just want to assure readers that I'm not suicidal. I'm gonna keep living. I can't be certain whether or not I'll be living well.

Edit:

To all of you sending me private messages, saying this is hot, asking me to piss on them, getting turned on by this:

I hope you fucking rot. I really do.

As someone in the kink community, I don't shame others for what they like. But you REALLY think its appropriate to come into my DMs from a post where I detail a behavior that drove me to attempt suicide, and start waving your dick around?

There are no words that describe my sheer contempt for you. Rot.

To everyone else: I really appreciate the support and understanding you have provided. The responses have given me a lot to think about, and a lot of potential new paths to go down. Thank you, and I wish you the same care, kindness, and affirmation of humanity you all have provided to me.

#reddit

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mindmattersmentalhealth · 2 days

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ADHD Couple Counselings-Navigating Love and Life Together

Living with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) can be challenging, and when it comes to romantic relationships, these challenges can sometimes be amplified. ADHD affects attention, impulse control, and organizational skills, which are crucial in maintaining a healthy relationship. This article will delve into the world of ADHD couple counseling, offering insights and strategies to help couples thrive despite the hurdles.

Understanding ADHD in Relationships

What is ADHD?

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. These symptoms can vary widely in intensity and can affect various aspects of life, including work, school, and personal relationships. In adults, ADHD might manifest as forgetfulness, disorganization, trouble starting and finishing tasks, and impulsivity.

How ADHD Affects Relationships

In a relationship where one or both partners have ADHD, the typical dynamics can be disrupted. The ADHD partner might struggle with remembering important dates, managing time, or completing household chores. The non-ADHD partner might feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or neglected, leading to conflicts and misunderstandings.

Common Challenges in ADHD Relationships

Communication Breakdown: ADHD can impair listening skills, leading to miscommunications.

Task Management: Difficulty in organizing and completing tasks can create an unequal division of labor.

Emotional Regulation: Those with ADHD might have trouble managing emotions, resulting in more frequent and intense arguments.

Impulsivity: This can lead to actions or decisions that strain the relationship.

Understanding these challenges is the first step in addressing them, and this is where ADHD couple counseling becomes invaluable.

The Role of ADHD Couple Counseling

Couple counseling aims to help partners understand and support each other better, enhancing their relationship. When ADHD is in the mix, specialized counseling can provide strategies tailored to the unique needs of the couple.

Goals of ADHD Couple Counseling

Improved Communication: Developing better ways to talk and listen to each other.

Effective Task Management: Learning strategies to manage responsibilities and reduce friction.

Emotional Support: Helping both partners understand and support each other’s emotional needs.

Conflict Resolution: Teaching techniques to resolve disputes in a healthy, constructive manner.

Techniques Used in ADHD Couple Counseling

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This helps in changing negative thought patterns and behaviors.

Mindfulness Training: Encourages staying present and reduces impulsive reactions.

Behavioral Strategies: Practical solutions for managing tasks and responsibilities.

Communication Skills Training: Enhances how partners talk and listen to each other.

The Counseling Process

Assessment: The counselor evaluates both partners to understand their individual and collective challenges.

Goal Setting: Partners set realistic and achievable goals for their relationship.

Skill Building: Learning and practicing new skills in communication, task management, and emotional regulation.

Follow-Up: Regular check-ins to assess progress and adjust strategies as needed.

Practical Strategies for Couples

Communication Tips

Active Listening: Practice listening without interrupting. Show empathy and understanding.

Clear and Concise Communication: Be direct and specific about needs and expectations.

Regular Check-Ins: Schedule time to discuss how things are going and address issues promptly.

Managing Tasks and Responsibilities

Use Tools and Apps: Utilize calendars, reminders, and organizational apps to keep track of tasks.

Divide and Conquer: Assign tasks based on strengths and preferences.

Routine and Structure: Establish daily routines to provide stability and predictability.

Emotional Support

Validate Feelings: Acknowledge and validate each other’s emotions without judgement.

Empathy and Patience: Understand that ADHD is a real and challenging condition, requiring empathy and patience.

Seek Professional Help: Don't hesitate to seek help from a therapist when needed.

The Benefits of ADHD Couple Counseling

Enhanced Understanding

Counselling helps both partners understand ADHD better, leading to greater empathy and cooperation. Knowing that ADHD is not a character flaw but a neurological condition can transform how partners perceive each other.

Improved Relationship Satisfaction

With better communication and effective strategies for managing daily tasks, couples often find that their relationship satisfaction improves. Counseling provides tools to navigate the complexities of life with ADHD, making the relationship more rewarding.

Reduced Conflict

Learning healthy conflict resolution skills can significantly reduce the frequency and intensity of arguments. This fosters a more peaceful and supportive home environment.

Personal Growth

Both partners can experience personal growth through counseling. The ADHD partner might develop better coping strategies, while the non-ADHD partner can learn to set boundaries and practice self-care.

Case Studies and Real-Life Examples

Case Study 1: Sarah and John

Sarah and John had been married for five years when they sought counseling. John was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, but his symptoms had become more challenging in adulthood. Sarah felt overwhelmed by the uneven division of household chores and John's forgetfulness.

Through counseling, they learned to use shared calendars and task lists, which significantly improved their organization. John practiced mindfulness techniques to help manage his impulsivity, and Sarah worked on expressing her needs clearly without frustration. Their relationship improved as they built a stronger partnership.

Case Study 2: Emily and Mark

Emily and Mark faced frequent arguments due to Mark's impulsive spending and Emily's frustration over feeling unheard. Counseling helped them develop better communication skills. Mark started using a budgeting app to manage his finances better, and Emily practiced active listening techniques. They learned to approach conflicts with empathy, reducing their arguments and strengthening their bond.

Tips for Choosing an ADHD Couple Counselor

Qualifications

Look for a licensed therapist with experience in ADHD and couples therapy. Check their credentials and ask about their experience with similar cases.

Approach

Ensure the counselor uses evidence-based techniques like CBT and mindfulness. Their approach should be tailored to the unique needs of ADHD relationships.

Compatibility

It's crucial to find a counselor with whom both partners feel comfortable. Counseling requires openness and trust, so a good rapport with the therapist is essential.

Practical Considerations

Consider logistical aspects such as location, availability, and cost. Many counselors offer virtual sessions, which can be convenient for busy couples.

Self-Help Strategies

While professional counseling is invaluable, there are also self-help strategies that couples can implement to support their relationship.

Education

Both partners should educate themselves about ADHD. Understanding the condition can foster empathy and reduce frustration.

Support Groups

Join support groups for couples dealing with ADHD. Sharing experiences with others can provide additional insights and support.

Books and Resources

There are many excellent books and online resources about ADHD and relationships. Some recommended readings include:

"The ADHD Effect on Marriage" by Melissa Orlov

"Driven to Distraction" by Edward M. Hallowell and John J. Ratey

Self-Care

Both partners should practice self-care. The non-ADHD partner should ensure they are taking time for themselves, while the ADHD partner might benefit from regular exercise and a healthy diet to manage symptoms.

Moving Forward Together

ADHD can present significant challenges in a relationship, but with the right support and strategies, couples can not only survive but thrive. ADHD couple counseling offers tools and techniques to improve communication, manage daily tasks, and support emotional well-being. By understanding each other's needs and working together, couples can build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.

Final Thoughts

Navigating a relationship with ADHD requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to adapt. Counseling provides a structured way to address the unique challenges and enhance the strengths of both partners. With commitment and effort, couples can overcome the hurdles posed by ADHD and create a loving, supportive, and resilient partnership.

#adhd #couple #counselig #mental health #therapy #coping #stress #mental heath support #mental wellness

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wellnessmindhub · 3 days

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ADHD Marriage Counseling: Strengthening Your Relationship

Marriage can be challenging, and when one or both partners have ADHD, it can add an extra layer of complexity. ADHD marriage counseling is a specialized form of therapy designed to help couples navigate the unique issues that ADHD can bring into a relationship. By focusing on communication, understanding, and practical strategies, this type of counseling can significantly improve the quality of your marriage.

Understanding ADHD in Marriage

ADHD, or Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects focus, impulse control, and organizational skills. When one partner has ADHD, it can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, and conflicts. Common issues in ADHD marriages include:

Disorganization: Difficulty keeping track of responsibilities and tasks.

Impulsivity: Acting without thinking, which can lead to conflicts or financial problems.

Inattention: Struggling to focus on conversations or important details, causing feelings of neglect or frustration.

What is ADHD Marriage Counseling?

ADHD marriage counseling is therapy specifically tailored for couples dealing with ADHD-related challenges. It involves working with a therapist who understands ADHD and its impact on relationships. The goal is to develop strategies that help both partners understand each other better, improve communication, and manage symptoms effectively.

Why is ADHD Marriage Counseling Important?

ADHD can strain even the strongest relationships. Here’s why ADHD marriage counseling is essential:

Improves Understanding: Helps both partners understand how ADHD affects their relationship.

Enhances Communication: Teaches effective communication strategies to prevent misunderstandings.

Builds Strategies: Provides practical tools to manage ADHD symptoms in daily life.

Strengthens Bond: Fosters empathy and connection, helping couples grow closer.

Common Issues Addressed in ADHD Marriage Counseling

ADHD marriage counseling can help address a variety of issues, including:

Communication Problems: ADHD can make it hard to stay focused during conversations, leading to misunderstandings.

Time Management: Struggling to manage time effectively can cause conflicts over lateness or forgotten tasks.

Emotional Regulation: ADHD can lead to mood swings or impulsive reactions, which can be challenging for a partner.

Household Responsibilities: Disorganization can lead to conflicts over chores and responsibilities.

Financial Management: Impulsivity and disorganization can lead to financial problems.

Benefits of ADHD Marriage Counseling

The benefits of ADHD marriage counseling are numerous and can transform your relationship:

Better Communication: Learn to communicate more effectively and understand each other’s perspectives.

Increased Empathy: Develop greater empathy and patience towards each other’s challenges.

Improved Organization: Implement strategies to manage disorganization and responsibilities.

Enhanced Emotional Connection: Strengthen your emotional bond and intimacy.

Effective Conflict Resolution: Gain tools to handle conflicts constructively and prevent escalation.

How to Find the Right ADHD Marriage Counselor

Finding the right counselor is crucial for effective therapy. Here are some tips:

Check Credentials: Ensure the counselor is licensed and has experience with ADHD and marriage counseling.

Seek Recommendations: Ask for referrals from your doctor, friends, or support groups.

Consider Their Approach: Find a counselor whose therapeutic approach aligns with your needs.

Initial Meeting: Schedule a consultation to see if both partners feel comfortable with the counselor.

Assess Progress: Regularly evaluate if the counseling is benefiting your relationship.

Encouraging Your Partner to Attend ADHD Marriage Counseling

If your partner is hesitant about counseling, approach the topic with understanding and support. Here are some tips:

Normalize Counseling: Explain that seeking help is a common and positive step for many couples.

Address Concerns: Listen to your partner’s concerns and address them together.

Highlight Benefits: Discuss how counseling can improve your relationship and daily life.

Offer Support: Show your commitment to working on the relationship together.

Conclusion

ADHD marriage counseling can be a transformative experience for couples struggling with the unique challenges of ADHD. By improving communication, building practical strategies, and fostering understanding, this specialized form of therapy helps couples strengthen their relationship and navigate daily life more effectively. If ADHD is affecting your marriage, consider seeking the guidance of a trained counselor. Investing in ADHD marriage counseling can lead to a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship, helping you and your partner thrive together.

#mental health #coping skills #inspirational #pre marriage counseling

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littleprincessfawn · 2 months

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- Journal Entry - 29.3.24

Visiting my mum's place at Bribie Island, and one of my brothers is here too, with my little niece. My son taught her how to play Mario Kart and he let her win. I was so proud of him for how good a teacher he was and how kind and non-competitive he was with her. And very protective too, when she chose bowsers castle map he said hmmm actually... this one is a bit too scary let's choose another one (he's 10, she's 5).

It's healing for me to be away from my ex. My family doesn't quite understand how dizzy and fatigued I am from the leukemia meds, but that's okay. I love both my brothers so much and they are both such great men. I'd love to see them more often so my kiddo could have good male role models. My eldest brother is hopefully coming up either later tonight or tomorrow night.

I'm sore, tired, have a headache blooming, but I feel happy and relatively safe. My child is a good human. I hope he gets to relax on this little mini holiday. And then I hope I get the courage and strength to tell my ex to leave, that I can look after myself without him.

I just wish I had someone to live with, to share my ups and downs with. I wish I had a partner. But my ex isn't my partner, he's not that person. I know he genuinely tries to help me, but our dynamic is so toxic. He makes me feel weak. I want to be with a partner who inspires me to be strong.

But I also don't want to date anyone because I don't want to wish my leukemia on a partner, I don't want that for anyone I love, for them to watch me go through these hard days. I wish I could avoid it for my child but I can't. This is what it is to be human, to love another and to be pained when they are hurting. Maybe I wouldn't be such a burden. Maybe I could have good things to offer as well.

I'm loyal and caring. I don't cheat, I'm honest. I let people know when I'm upset and why, and if I'm quick to feel emotions I'm also quick to forgive, to get over myself, to return to love. I'm a good listener (in person, I'm not as good on the internet). I like to support my partner and cheer them on with their goals. I like sex and have a healthy relationship with my sexuality. I'm cute and weird, I'm self-aware. Sometimes I'm a little funny or wise. I'm always willing to work together to solve any problems that come up. I'm a good mum to my kid (I think).

But I'm not rich or beautiful. And I'm not currently employed. I'm not spectacularly talented in any useful kind of way. I have ADHD and am disorganized in general. I feel things deeply, which scares a lot of people who prefer gentler souls. I'm very passionate and emphatic. I express myself. I'm not quiet. And I've been through severe traumas in my past that have shaped me, and sometimes still find me in the night.

I wonder if there actually exists a person who can love me? With all that I am, and all that I'm not. Am I loveable as I am? Or am I not worthy of love?

#journal #journal entry #personal #chronic myeloid leukemia #leukemia #single mum #loneliness #family gatherings #unloved #unloveable

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mentalmindsetmatters · 2 months

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Coping with ADHD in Adulthood: Strategies for Thriving in a World Designed for Focus

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is often associated with childhood, yet for many, the challenges persist into adulthood. Navigating through a world that demands sustained focus can be an uphill battle, but it's not insurmountable. If you're one of the many adults managing ADHD, you can transform your life by adopting strategies and tools tailored to your unique needs. In this comprehensive guide, we outline tactics to enhance productivity, discuss the potential benefits of therapy and medication, explore the latest technological aids, and connect you with a supportive community.

Understanding ADHD in Adults

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is not a condition that disappears as you age; rather, its manifestations and management shift with time. The core symptoms often involve difficulty with attention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. Adults with ADHD may find it challenging to complete tasks, maintain focus, or even control their impulses, leading to unexpected challenges in both their personal and professional lives.

There's a pervasive misconception that ADHD is only a childhood condition—this couldn’t be further from the truth. Approximately 60% of children with ADHD continue to experience significant symptoms as adults. The impact is profound, from educational attainment to employment opportunities and personal relationships. The good news is that a growing body of resources and support networks, alongside personal coping mechanisms, are proving to be powerful tools for many adults with ADHD.

The Transition to Adulthood

For those who transition from adolescent ADHD to adult ADHD, life markers such as higher education, entering the workforce, and managing a household can highlight the disorder’s presence. Symptoms of adult ADHD can lead to a variety of social and professional difficulties, requiring a new level of understanding and management.

Diagnosis and Identification

Getting an ADHD diagnosis as an adult can be a game-changer. It provides context for past experiences and informs strategies for moving forward. Seeking out healthcare professionals who specialize in adult ADHD can be pivotal, as they can offer tailored insights and treatment options.

Challenges Faced by Adults with ADHD in Everyday Life

The hardships of managing ADHD in adulthood are varied and personal, but common themes emerge in the struggles of many. From time management to emotional regulation, here's a breakdown of the challenges you might face.

Time Management and Organization

Adults with ADHD often grapple with a skewed perception of time and find it difficult to prioritize tasks effectively. The concept of multitasking can be both a strategy for coping and a source of distraction.

Work and Career Challenges

In the professional setting, the symptoms of ADHD can manifest as a difficulty in meeting deadlines, staying organized, and maintaining appropriate social interactions, which can impact workplace success and promotion potentials.

Relationship Dynamics

Communication and listening skills are integral to healthy relationships, but they can be particularly challenging for adults with ADHD. Partners, family, and friends can feel frustrated by perceived inattentiveness or a lack of follow-through.

Coping Strategies: From Time Management to Organizational Skills

While ADHD presents certain challenges, it also brings unique strengths. Harnessing these strengths and implementing practical tools can help individuals with ADHD manage their symptoms more effectively.

Utilize Visual and Auditory Cues

Visual aids and audible reminders are game-changers for many. Color-coded calendars, notifications on smartphones, and to-do lists in clear view can serve as constant guides in the struggle against forgetfulness and disorganization.

Break it Down

Breaking tasks into smaller, more manageable steps can make it easier to tackle a project over time, rather than becoming overwhelmed by the demand to complete the entire task at once.

Stay Organized with Routines

Creating and sticking to a daily routine can help provide a sense of structure, making it easier to transition between tasks and maintain focus. Routines can be personalized to fit individual preferences and lifestyle demands.

The Role of Medication and Therapy in Coping with ADHD

ADHD is highly treatable, and a multimodal approach often provides the best results. This typically includes a combination of medication, therapy, and practical living strategies.

Medication Management

Stimulant medications are often the frontline treatment for ADHD, with non-stimulant options available for those who cannot take stimulants. Finding the right medication, dosage, and schedule can take time and consultation with a healthcare professional.

Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and coaching approaches can be incredibly effective in helping individuals with ADHD cope with their symptoms. These therapies focus on developing practical skills to manage time, organize tasks, and mitigate impulsivity.

Support Groups and Community

The importance of a supportive network cannot be overstated. Whether in the form of support groups, online forums, or one-on-one relationships, a community that understands your experiences can alleviate feelings of isolation and provide invaluable advice and encouragement.

Tools and Technologies for Enhancing Productivity

The digital age has gifted us with an array of tools that can serve as external brains, assisting in managing everyday tasks and responsibilities. Here’s a look at some of the best.

Productivity Apps and Software

A surge of apps catered to time management, task organization, and focus enhancement have hit the market recently. From project management apps like Trello to time-blocking tools like Forest, individuals with ADHD can experiment to find what works best for their needs.

Wearable Tech for ADHD Management

Wearable technology, like smartwatches and fitness trackers, can serve as constant reminders and trackers of daily habits. Many come equipped with multiple functions that serve various purposes, from step counts to calendar notifications.

Simplify Your Space

Your environment can be a silent partner in your productivity. Creating a clean, organized, and decluttered space can minimize visual and mental distractions, enhancing the ability to maintain focus.

Support Networks and Community Resources for Adults with ADHD

Finding understanding and acceptance for your ADHD in the broader community can be transformational. Here, we explore the value of support networks and resources designed specifically for adults with ADHD.

Educational Programs and Workshops

ADHD-focused educational programs and workshops are becoming more common, offering a wealth of information on coping strategies, workplace accommodations, and the latest scientific findings in ADHD research.

Online Communities

The rise of social media and online forums has given adults with ADHD unprecedented access to support and camaraderie. These spaces allow for the sharing of experiences, tips, and resources in an environment specifically designed with the ADHD community in mind.

Local Support Groups and Meetups

Sometimes, nothing can replace the comfort of a face-to-face support group with individuals that share similar experiences. Local groups and meetups provide an opportunity for meaningful connections and immediate understanding.

Personal Stories and Testimonials

Reading about the experiences of others can provide much-needed solace and inspiration. Here are some personal stories from adults with ADHD who have found success in their unique struggle.

Coping with ADHD in the Workforce

Many individuals with ADHD have navigated the challenges of the professional world and have stories to share about workplace successes and the strategies that led to them.

Balancing Family and ADHD

Managing ADHD while being a parent or spouse can feel like an impossible juggling act. Personal anecdotes highlight the joys and struggles of creating and maintaining family life with ADHD.

Finding Personal Fulfillment with ADHD

Understanding and managing ADHD can be a key to unlocking personal passions and finding fulfillment. Stories of growth and discovery can provide a roadmap for those seeking to do the same.

Conclusion: Empowering Adults with ADHD to Thrive

While the road for adults with ADHD can be rife with hurdles, it's one paved with opportunities for growth and success. By understanding your unique needs, building a toolkit of strategies, and tapping into the resources available to you, the challenge of ADHD can turn from a barrier to a stepping stone. Remember, you are not alone. Seek out the support you need, connect with others who share your experiences, and approach your ADHD with the courage to thrive.

Call to Action

Are you ready to take action against the challenges of adult ADHD? Join our supportive community of ADHD adults to share stories, strategies, and support. Together, we can empower each other to succeed in a world that demands our attention.

#mental health #healthcare #mental illness #mental wellness #therapy #bipolar disorder #mental health support #bipolar depression

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onerebuplic · 11 months

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June 23, 2023. The urgent, hopeful moment. Need to change, scared to change.

I just hate how long it took for me to figure all this out about myself.

The C-PTSD stuff. The ADHD stuff. The dysregulated nervous system stuff. The social anxiety/hypersexuality and people pleasing stuff.

The food stuff. The money stuff. The depression/EMDR/shroom stuff.

I can’t help but feel like I missed out on so much at UO. Better learning experiences in my class. Better networking with my classmates and professors. Better romantic and sexual partners. Better friends and connections.

I think now that if I went back, I would’ve been able to take full advantage of everything. Getting more financial aid. More work experience. More fun experiences.

More insight on the design and entertainment industries.

More know-how when it comes to working out. And eating well.

So there’s the grief and regret of that, combined with the stress and pressure and wastefulness and naïveté of the 100k in student loans, combined with the grief and regret and stress and pressure from Covid and the derailment of my mental health (and thus, career)

The pain of not having known.

I’m glad I’m at least figuring it out now, though.

I’d rather it be now than 5 years from now, or 10 years, or 20.

I’m still young. I have time to get strong and fast again.

I guess what I’m really worried about right now is the storm right in front of me:

This damn house.

Housing search.

Job search. & UNT.

Career search. (RP progression, design loss)

Food.

Trauma resurfacing.

General mental health.

General disorganization.

Body dysmorphia.

Needing friends.

Medical needs, like toe, neck.

I’m nervous, because even though I have time because of the loan, moving into a new place can cost like $2500 or more because of deposits.

And on top of that, I’m nervous about getting a job that can pay enough to cover expenses combined with the loan.

Am I skilled enough? Can I finesse my way into higher pay? Or do I need to get my existing issues taken care of, like the trauma/nervous system/freeze state/dissociation, before I can successfully learn and interview my way into a decent job?

Basically, it’s a lot for one person to deal with at one time.

Especially someone with ADHD and depression, and no therapist.

I know I need to adjust my expectations of how much I can finish in one day, but I know I also struggle heavily with self discipline (which isn’t helped by the ADHD and trauma) and I’m scared of continuing to enable myself and dissociate until I run out of time and money.

So, it seems like the real underlying needs, AKA the ‘wrenches in the machine’ are:

Food.

Physical therapy.

Therapy.

Fighting the Freeze/Fawn.

Networking/Professional work.

Once I get food and physical therapy, I’ll have workouts as a physical outlet for the anxiety and stress.

Once I start therapy and EMDR and processing the trauma, and learning how to cope with existing depression/anxiety, I’ll have less severe reactions to triggers and curveballs. I’ll also have more mental energy to live and work with the ADHD and disorganization.

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kuvvydraws · 2 years

Note

There was a question about how Órdago and Raavi would do to their s/o who has a condition that will limit their lifespan and it made me think that what if the condition the s/o has needs medical attention (and maybe meds) but doesn't limit the lifespan? Like ADHD for example.

About this ask

Both would help when it comes to medication and reminders - Raavi is techier, so phone alarms are their go to, while Órdago prefers post-its and written notes all over the house, though both end up using both systems. Neither mind much a bit of clutter, but it might get used for eventual pranks depending on what their partner leaves around, so SO must be careful.

Raavi is particularly good at making light of a situation if their SO seems frustrated, and has an infinite patience for someone so energetic. Stimming doesn’t bother them, as they do it sometimes as well, and they don’t mind if SO’s attention wanders off when they talk - if the topic is particularly important, Raavi will try to gain it back, if not, they’ll just shrug it off and move on onto something else. Raavi is a bit more disorganized than their brother when it comes to things they don’t consider extremely important, and thus SO’s clutter might join their own and become a trash monster... There’s a permanent reminder in their phone to tidy up from time to time, so at least that’s taken care of.

Órdago is best at creating and keeping routines. He might be a bit paternalist in the beginning but will back off if SO points it out. He loves hearing rambles, not only to fill the silence because he doesn’t talk much but because SO is passionate about something and that makes them adorable in his eyes. He’s careful about remembering where his SO leaves important things, be it a phone or a tool or a project they’re working on, but won’t interfere if they don’t ask for his help because he doesn’t want to be overwhelming. Out of the two siblings, Órdago is the one who toes the overbearing line the most, as he’s a big mother hen, but he’ll try his best to keep himself in check as not to be disrespectful but supportive.

#kuvvytalks #raavi #órdago #hc #undertale

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cheeriecherry · 4 years

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Can I request bakugo, kirishima and shoji with a reader who has adhd? It's totally fine if u can't, but I love seeing hcs about stims and stuff,, thank u :) !

//raises hand// u mean me <:3c I have adhd so prepare for a lot of uhhhhh habits that I have-

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

-This guy knows fuckall about ADHD lbr

-He’s the guy who can sit down and study and stay focused, who keeps a regular sleep schedule, who sits still in class (for the most part). Sure, he’s shouty, but he’s not got a clue about what you deal with.

-Before he really gets to know you, he thinks you’re a pain in the ass ngl. Like, why can’t you study, it’s not that hard? What do you mean you didn’t go to bed until 3am because falling asleep is ‘boring’? Sorry when was the last time you showered - what do you mean you thought you already did it?!

-It’s probably frustrating to deal with his remarks. Like, he’s judging you for something that’s out of your control.

-It’s best to just lay it out flat for him; call him out for being an asshole. Not only because he’s just being rude, but because he’s being rude about things that are out of your hands.

-He’ll feel guilty about it, but he won’t say anything. Which kind of sucks, because an apology would be nice but...be patient with him also, he’s still learning.

-He would probably take it upon himself to learn what the heck adhd even is, and how it affects people. And what kinds of things you can do to help with it!

-He’d be quieter around you after that, and more lenient. He’d still help you study, but he’d be less gung-ho about shoving your face in a book. Sometimes he’ll read the paragraphs to you while you follow along or make notes, and he’ll help you make summary pages that are organised and colour coded for easy access.

-He finds a neat little fidget toy online and orders one for you, it’s like. A little cube with buttons and switches and little rolly things on each side, very good for when you’re in class and your leg is bouncing and you’re twirling your pen around while staring at the ceiling.

-He definitely can relate to the emotional side of adhd tho. Feeling Everything or Nothing, not really being able to control or get a handle on intense emotions, having outbursts sometimes. He doesn’t really know how to help you with that, because he is, in fact, a loud boi. It’s probably pretty common that you’ll yell something and he’ll yell back, but it devolves into a basic conversation at a high volume.

-Once he gets to know you and starts dating you, he’ll think your mannerisms are cute. The way you sway back and forth while you’re standing, the little wiggly thing you do with your hands when you’re excited for something.

-He also really likes watching you train, and training with you. Your brain goes fast and the rest of you follows, so it’s pretty common for you to lay waste to your opponents. When you don’t doubt yourself, your instinct shines through and you’re incredibly clever.

-It carries over to conversations sometimes, where you’ll always have some quick remark to smack somebody with when they talk shit.

-He’s seen the downsides of adhd, but he also sees the kind of pros it can have, and he sees how hard you work to get things done in spite of it. He thinks you’re pretty cool.

KIRISHIMA EIJIROU

-He also doesn’t know what adhd, not really.

-He’s heard of it, but only the stereotypes. The ‘can’t sit still, always talking, not very smart’ stereotypes. So he probably sees your behaviours and doesn’t connect the dots.

-He notices you staring out the window a lot in class, and not really giving much to group conversation. Plus you sometimes need people to repeat things, two or three or four times, before it clicks with you. He doesn’t think you’re dumb, not at all (he’s seen your grades and you’re definitely not dumb) but he does wonder what’s up with you.

-He’ll probably ask you one day, after seeing you watching a movie with subtitles on, despite it being in your native language. Just be honest with him and tell him that yeah, you have adhd.

-He’ll probably be the guy to say ‘but you dont act like you have adhd’ because all he has to go off of are stereotypes. It’s important to set him straight. Tell him what it’s really like, the good parts, the bad parts, the ugly parts.

-The ‘not being able to tidy anything up because the stars aren’t in alignment’ parts. The ‘everything looks horribly disorganized but you know where everything is’ parts. The ‘I haven’t brushed my teeth in three days because I lost track of time’ parts.

-He already thought pretty good of your before, but now that he knows you really have to fight to be where you are, he’s in awe. You’re such a strong person, which he really admires.

-If you do something that’s ‘weird’ he’ll ask you to explain it. He’s honestly just curious, and wants to learn more about you and what drives you, so don’t be offended by it.

-But he’ll definitely like the fidget toys you have, particularly the squishy or stretch ones. And he finds that your study tricks really help him in terms of paying attention, and he’s able to absorb the material better. You guys always make sure to create study sheets together that are laid out well and easy to access.

-He also really like the energy you have during training, and often seeks you out to partner up. Whereas sitting in a classroom isn’t your strong suit, being out on the field and moving around is. You’re got a quick wit and a smart brain, and when you’re using your body at the same time, it’s easier to keep track of your thoughts and put them into action.

-10/10 loves the shit out of you and lowkey brags to everyone about how good his S/O is.

SHOJI MEZO

-The quietest and most understanding of the bunch.

-He -like the others- probably also doesn’t know much about adhd, but he’s far more relaxed about it when you tell him. He’s kind of just like ‘oh, okay’ and it doesn’t change his opinion of you.

-But when he sees how it really affects you, that’s when he starts to think differently.

-He’s not a bad student in terms of grades. he’s pretty mediocre, both in hero training and classes, and he’s okay with it. But he sees how much you bust your ass just to be where you are, and he’s certainly not envious.

-When you tell him what other kinds of fun things you have to deal with, he probably feels a little bad for you at first. He’s already self conscious about himself, so if he had to go through the things you do, his self esteem would probably be pretty low.

-but he really respects that you’re owning your adhd, and working with it instead of trying to ignore it and make it go away.

-Plus, with cons come pros, and you have so many of them. It can be hard to get into things sometimes, but once you do? He’s seen the way you get when you hyperfocus, and the amount you can achieve when you’re in that state. He’s learned not to bother you until you’re done whatever you’re doing when you’re focused, knowing that once you lose it, it’s gone and you’ll never get it back.

-And the way you enthuse about your interests is adorable. he admire you passion and knowledge about certain subjects, and the lengths you’re willing to go to in order to learn about them.

-He doesn’t usually like being your partner during training, mostly because you kick his ass using sped and intelligence alone. Plus your stamina and unwillingness to stay knocked down is...something. Something real good.

-He definitely sees the appeal of fidget toys. After he tries yours, he’ll probably get one for himself, and keep it in his off hand while he’s working. I mean, six arms, y’know? That’s like four more arms to not be busy with when he’s working, and four more arms of sensory input. Having something to fiddle with actually helps his concentration too.

-Speaking of sensory input, this guy gives the best hugs when you’re overstimulated by something. A good squeeze calms down the sympathetic nervous system, and he’s hands down the best at hugs. He holds you tightly and blocks out whatever light and noise that he can, until you’ve calmed down and are more equipped to deal with things.

-You two mesh pretty well together, and there’s a lot he can learn from you. He respects you and cares about you!

#bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #kirishima x reader #kirishima eijirou x reader #shoji x reader shoji mezo x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #Anonymous

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prismatales · 4 years

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How would Iida and Bakugo be around a partner with ADHD?

I'm going to make this a bit differently from my usual method of writing, by starting with some headcanons I think fit the two of them equally. As mentioned before with similar requests, should anything seem inaccurate make sure to send some feedback! 💕

Generally speaking, Iida and Bakugo are similar in a concept: Both of them are pretty organized individuals. One more than the other of course, but it's rare to see their stuff in a mess nonetheless.

One thing ADHD can cause is lack of motivation when it comes to do certain stuff, like chores, homework, etc.

If these two walk into their partner's room to see it's dirty, the reactions will vary accordingly to how messy the place is.

Something like an unkempt bed, a bunch of clothes thrown carelessly into a chair, a messy desk, etc.? They won't help cleaning, but they'll make sure of reminding their S/O to clean.

But if the room is in such a mess you can't even remember what the floor used to look like and even the monster under the bed is afraid to come out? They're gonna have a heart attack, before giving them a scolding and finally helping them out with the cleaning.

Another important thing is the fact ADHD can make you more sensitive. So if anyone says something to their partner in a way to make them feel ashamed or rejected for their condition...or worst case scenario, if someone goes as far as to harass them because of it...NEITHER of these two are gonna have it.

Now to Individual Headcanons!

Iida Tenya:

Exercise can help people with ADHD improve focus and attention, Iida is definitely the type of guy who enjoys jogging in the morning, and he'll often invite his S/O to join him in hope the activity can help them out.

Have you seen the way his bedroom is so organized? You can bet he'll give his S/O suggestions to keep their stuff in order to make things a bit easier for them.

If his partner has trouble when it comes to time managing and focusing on tasks, he'll probably help them by putting reminders on their phone. He'll also texts them every now and then during stuff like homework and exams.

"Don't forget to study for the upcoming Hero history exam!"

You can be certain that if his S/O has a hard time saying "no" to people, and someone tries to take advantage of this by pushing their workload into them, Iida's going to be giving this person an earful about it.

combine it with his usual hand gestures and the person's going to be extremely intimidated.

"If you have plenty of time to try and pressure them do your work, then you have plenty of time to do it yourself, or don't you know is unethical to make others do everything for you?"

Bakugo Katsuki:

Bakugo will take the exercise option a different route, and will probably take them along to the gym. Yes, jogging is good, but sometimes work out routines are the best option, specially if you're one of those persons who feel lighter after a work out.

This guy is pretty much a mom, and will keep telling his S/O to put their stuff back in place once they're done with it, as a way to avoid having everything disorganized again.

While he's not one to have a planner he'll also send his partner texts messages when it comes to important stuff, though with his usual Bakugo twist.

"My tutoring better not go to waste Dumbass, you better ace tomorrow's exam."

We all know how loud Bakugo can be, but he makes an effort in toning down his voice when he's talking with his S/O, he may have a few slips off every now and then, but he'll make sure to reassure them everything's fine if he catches the slightest of changes in their mood after this.

If Bakugo notices his partner has a hard time reaching out to others, or is afraid of speaking, being interrupted, etc. He'll make sure to include them in the conversation, in his own way of course.

"All you damn extras shut up, I can't even hear what (Nickname)'s saying over your goddamn blabbering!"

MASTERLIST

@t-amajiki @undead0relived @shoobirino @bnha-ra @godtieruwu @mysticalite @fanfic-hamilton-posts

#mha imagine #bnha imagine #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #bakugo katsuki #iida tenya #bnha bakugou #bnha iida

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leovaldezaskblog · 4 years

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Leo Valdez Hates Himself

2this is going to be an OOC post but i was thinking last week after a really tough therapy session about how much i relate to leo.

its made pretty clear in the series that leo really doesnt like himself for a few reasons and covers it up with jokes and a sarcastic smile but i started really looking into some reasons that were talked about and it just hit me. this kid fucking hates himself so much.

one of the reasons that was touched on quite a bit when we were getting to know him was that Tia Callida noticed his powers early on and tested him by placing him in the fire where (i recall correctly) he fell asleep or was otherwise comfortable. now let me just say that i wasnt really raised in a very traditional household but my extended family, my tias and abuelas are/were very religious, crosses over doorways and beds, portraits of jesus on the walls, a very worn bible on the bedside table, church every sunday, the whole deal. let me tell you, if i ever told my family that i practice some forms of witchcraft, they would loose their minds. imagine how people around leo wouldve reacted if they saw that he could SUMMON FIRE FROM HIS HANDS. he would immediately be feared by anyone who practiced religion seriously.

now that were talking about the fact that he can conjure fire, id like to bring up how he blamed himself for the fire that killed his mother. that in itself would fuck a kid up. loosing a parent that young will really affect a kids head. but add the fact that he can summon flames at will and his mother died in a huge fire. obviously hes going to blame himself for killing one of the only people who really showed their love for him in a meaningful way. the trauma of loosing his mom is enough but blaming himself is a different story. in my situation, it was different because i was put up for adoption by my mother who said she wanted to be part of my life. when i turned 2 and began to know her voice on the phone, she stopped calling, the aunt she was living with always said she wasnt around and eventually the phone line was disconnected. i always had this awful feeling that i caused that. even though rationally that doesnt make total sense but growing up knowing your mom didnt want you then changed her mind about wanting to speak to you on the phone once every 6 months really hurts.

lets move on to his ADHD now, shall we? this is the one that had me begin to relate to him in the first place. i was diagnosed with ADHD when i was 7 because if someone dropped a paper clip on the floor and i saw, i had to go grab it. i was up and down from my seat, squirming, talking out of turn, sitting in my seat backward, not paying attention, had trouble with friends, the whole shebang. there was hardly a week that went by that i wasnt called annoying, too loud, too squirmy, too much. let me tell you that my ADHD is the root of a lot of my depression. i cant stop myself from talking even when i have the thought of “i need to be quiet”, i cant stop moving, my focus is everywhere, my speech is disorganized and then to hear that im annoying was just the worst. my peers said it as if i didnt already know. as if i dont live with it every day. that fucking hurts. im sure this was the same in the series. as much as you laugh and shrug it off, it hurts. knowing that you are fundamentally irritating to everyone around you, hurts and it makes your existence feel like a chore. you learn how to be the funny one so people will tolerate you and you bounce from group to group, never settling because if you do, they will get sick of you. we obviously see that constantly in leo where hes the funny guy who is helpful by fixing things.

ADHD to this day makes me feel stupid. i cant have a normal conversation about school or classes without crying or ending up suicidal, because i know that no matter what, how hard i try, i WILL fail my classes. i never had any clue until i was 17 that i had an above average IQ at 120 which is a point away from a Superior IQ. i thought i was fucking stupid because i couldnt get anything over a C at best and on average got a D. its so discouraging to want to learn when you know that you can put all your effort in and want to learn and then find out that you learned it wrong or just cant get the hang of it. its cannon that leo was solving college level math problems at 7 years old, he is cannonically a genius and you cant tell me he didnt deal with that hatred of himself for having trouble paying attention in his classes.

im going to move on to a headcannon that i have but i wanted to throw it out there. i cant see leo as anything other than a repressed gay (maybe bisexual) kid. how hard he tried to be normal and get a girlfriend, how much stock he put into having a girlfriend, how much he felt left out for not having a partner. in mexican culture, being gay is one of the worst things you can be. of course its getting better but gay men still come up missing or wind up dead after coming out or being outed. the idea that hes gay would be unfathomable to him so he covered it up by flirting with every girl he saw and being so aggressively out there when speaking with girls he didnt know. he just couldnt handle the idea that he could be a man attracted to other men so he covered it up. maybe i just like this idea because i ship leo and jason but i cant help but feel like he repressed it so hard because he was terrified.

i really think leo was terrified of himself. and that he really fucking hated himself.

#leo valdez #heroes of olympus #all of this is just from my experience but i deal with such terrible hatred of myself that it makes me suicidal on a weekly basis #i think i have room to talk here #hoo #leo valdez roleplay #percy jackson #pjo

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thebeauregardbros · 4 years

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LFRP: Alus Beauregard | Crystal Server

THE BASICS ––– –– –

Occupation: Free Paladin | Field Medic | Café Proprietor

Hobbies: Fashion | Tea Brewing | Pastry Creation | Jewelry Making | Reading Faerie Tales

Race: Miqo’te (Sunseeker Descent)

Sexuality/Romance: Asexual / Panromantic

Relationship Status: Single; never married

Languages: Eorzean | Common. Understands all languages; possesses The Echo.

Alignment: Neutral Good

PERSONAL ––– –– –

Alias: “Alice” (💢)

Residence: The Goblet, Ward 8 : Sultana’s Breath Apartments; Wing 1; Apartment #21

Place of Work: Café Nobilitea: Lavender Beds Ward 20, Lot #8 | Anywhere his Eorzean Grand Company sends him.

Birthplace: ??? (Grew up in Eorzea; particularly in the Thanalan area)

Fears: Slugs | Failing to keep his comrades safe | Failing to save his enemies from themselves

APPEARANCE ––– –– –

Height: “Tall for a miqo’te” (5′8″/173cm)

Build: Barrel-chested, muscular; untoned muscles | Long legs, wide shoulders, slender hips.

Age: Unknown; nameday 20 yrs ago. Approximately 23 summers old.

Gender: Male

Skin tone: Tan; Gold Undertone

Eye color: Heterochromia; Deep Fuschia (Right) | Golden Yellow (Left)

Hair color: Golden Blonde

Body Mods: Pierced ears.

Distinguishing Marks: [SPOILER] Large amounts of large-scale bruises and scars all over his body. They are almost always covered up with his clothing. There are no visible scars on his face, neck, or hands.

Common Accessories: Large amounts of gold jewelry; Excessive rings, bracelets, pocket watch chains, earrings, tiaras, circlets, crowns | Large amounts of fresh and/or fake flowers; On his lapel, coming out of his pockets, warn as a flower crown, tucked in his hair, tucked amongst the buttons on his outfits, etc.

BODY LANGUAGE ––– –– –

Walk: Excellent posture; he carries his upper body with strength, while his legs nearly cross in his stride like an elegant female runway model.

Voice: His voice is often strong, clear, deep, and commanding, with the slightest hinge of huskiness. While off-guard, however, his voice cracks into a higher pitched and goofier voice. His quiet tones are very soft and sweet, like a warm fuzzy blanket wrapping you up in it on a cold winter’s night. (Voiceclaim/reference: Johnny Yong Bosch, particularly his roles as Vash from Trigun and Zero from Marvel vs. Capcom.)

Tics or Mannerisms: His speech consists of a shakepearian inspired word usage with a consistent disuse of contractions, similar to Urianger. | He tends to step-dance or become especially physically clumsy while nervous in social situations. | He will elegantly dodge all physical contact, even minor, unless he is comfortable enough with you to make the first contact.

Smell: Gardenia (Jasmine) / Cuttlebone dust

Posture: Constantly straight and erect; shoulders rolled back, chest out. Never looks truly relaxed, even while sitting. A model of good posture.

Disabilities: [SPOILER] Surface numbness on his scar tissue. Mild numbness in his left-hand fingertips.

RELATIONSHIPS ––– –– –

Romantic Partner: (None.)

Parents: Gwenneg Beauregard (Adoptive) (Deceased)

Siblings: Arc Beauregard (Twin Brother) (Alive)

Children: (None.)

Extended Family: (Unknown.)

Pets: Various unnamed wild songbirds and a fledgling Dodo that followed him home. He keeps feeding them, so they keep coming back, but he does not claim ownership of any of them. | He has also developed a relationship with a wild white horse he’s named Marion who consistently comes to his call. | His military-issued chocobo is named Erminia.

Other: Alus considers everyone he meets to be a friend.

PERSONALITY TRAITS ––– –– –

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Addictive / In Between / Nonaddictive

RP HOOKS ––– –– –

Café Nobilitea: Alus is the proprietor of a western-style teahouse with a distinct theme for elegance, royalty, and other-worldliness - His café is bright, full of flowers, and always playing soft kind-hearted piano music; the type of place a person could become lost in whence they’ve become tired of the grueling and dark outer world; a real heaven and haven. He often spends his free time there and enjoys sitting with his customers to get to know them.

Grand Company Militia: Alus is a very active member with the Eorzean grand companies in fighting against the Garlean empire and any other threats to the peace there might be upon the world. It’s very possible your character might have teamed up with him at some point in active duty.

The Prince on a White Horse: Alus patrols random fields often in order to keep the peace. Your character or someone your character knows might have been saved by the mysterious ‘Prince on a white horse’ while being attacked by bandits or beastmen, who oft leaves without giving his name.

A Fellow Warrior Of Light: Alus has helped out the Scions of the Seventh Dawn on occasion due to his status as a Warrior of Light; one of many.

LOOKING FOR ––– –– –

Long-Term ANYTHING!: Friendships, rivalries, casual familiarities, romances, anything. Alus has lived a long life without any PC RP interactions, and I feel his writing suffers for it. I want someone who will be there for the long run and get to know him. I want stories to develop. I want Alus to grow because of other people.

Open-minded villains!: Alus has the patience of a saint and will befriend the nastiest of criminals no matter what. Alus will stop them from directly committing serious crimes he may be there to witness (murder, kidnapping, robbery, etc.), but will ultimately be very forgiving and calm when dealing with these topics. He wants to genuinely make a connection with people he doesn’t understand and strives his best to soften anybody’s heart, no matter how hard. His ultimate goal is to change their ways for the better through patience and understanding.

Platonic flirts!: Alus has a lot of love to give and happy to give it to nearly everyone and anyone. He throws around the words ‘I love you’ quite easily, and if he is especially crushing on someone, he will hold their hands and hug them openly despite his normal dislike of physical touch. He is most happy when he has a large circle of queerplatonic relationships, but will be absolutely exclusive to their ‘steady’ when he has made that romantic commitment.

Distant family members!: Alus knows very little of the Beauregards; his adoptive father and surnamesake did not speak of them much. Alus is fascinated with Elezen culture and considers himself one of them. He would be incredibly happy to find anyone with the same last name who would welcome him to his adopted ancestor’s information.

ADVENTURE!: Once in awhile, let’s RP somewhere other than a unmoving place. Let’s RP in a dungeon. Let’s RP while doing gold saucer chores. Let’s RP while talking to random minor NPCs. Let’s RP while doing something other than just sitting! It can help a lot with improvisation and keep the creative juices flowing.

ABOUT THE MUN ––– –– –

Who I am: Hey, my name’s Will. I’m a 24 y/o prep cook living in Alaska. My family’s straight-up wiccan, I got 3 black cats, I love super flashy ridiculous fashion, 1980s comedies, and my favorite game’s Bayonetta. I’m a queer Aquarius with mild ADHD. Buddhism and pacifism are super important to me. I love the McElroys?? and uh. I yell in caps a lot. i WILL make you a playlist of music if you ask for recommendations, don’t fuckin tempt me. I’m a casual goofus fuck. here’s my ‘me’ tag on my personal,

Server: Balmung, Crystal Data Center

Time Zone: Alaska (GMT-8)

Availability: 11AM-2AM (subject to change)

Writing Style: Rapidfire! 95WPM. I like to RP just like I type normally - as thoughts pop up, I type ‘em, just like if I was talking. I’m not a big fan of waiting for turns; I have an anxiety disorder and that particularly makes me extremely anxious! However, I am happy to do short paragraph RP with you if we’ve been RPing long enough. Huge paragraph RP is 100% OK on Discord!

Platforms: In-game(preferred) or Discord.

Restrictions ––– –– –

No ERP!

No Permadeath! I really do not want to RP with anyone who intends to eventually kill off their character, either. This is a legitimate trigger for me.

RP Fighting...? I’ve never done this before. I’m not a fan of physical injury so it’s unlikely I would want to, either. But if the situation really calls for it, I’m open to learning. I will not allow you to permanently disfigure or disable my character - temporary injury is alright, but please talk to me about it first.

Mature Themes...? This is okay for me. Swearing, murder, prostitution, drugs.. I’m an adult! I don’t mind these themes being mentioned or being used as a backdrop to a prompt. Alus isn’t a fan of these things though! So just keep that in mind.

Sexual Assault...? For the most part, NO. However, a forceful kiss? An inappropriate touching that stops as soon as my character says no? Maybe. Ask me beforehand and be clear about what you’re thinking, no surprises.

More Info ––– –– –

Click here for Alus’ RP blog and all the memes and asks I’ve written for him!

tags;

@ffxiv-crystal-rp @crystalxivrp @mooglemeet

#final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #ffxiv rp #ff14 #ffxiv lfrp #alus beauregard #crystal data center #meme

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mentalmindsetmatters · 2 months

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Understanding and Navigating the Link Between ADHD and Depression

Life is a beautiful, complex mosaic, sometimes marred by shadows we do not choose. For a significant portion of the adult population, two such shadows combine in an intricate dance that can seem overwhelming – ADHD and depression. This is not just a medical topic but a profoundly human one, about the struggles and journeys of real people. We're going to walk through the interplay of these challenges, understand why it matters, and explore the paths to shining light on your mosaic once more.

The Individual Puzzle Pieces: ADHD and Depression Defined

Before we can understand their link, it's vital to understand what each entails. Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is not just a childhood issue. Its essence, core of distraction, disorganization, and impulsivity, continues into adulthood for many. On the flip side, depression, often characterized by persistent sadness, a loss of interest in activities, and a spectrum of physical and emotional consequences, paints yet another challenging picture for those affected.

ADHD, in adulthood, can manifest itself in a myriad of ways. From the inconsistency and difficulty with focus, leading to professional hiccups, to relationship strains because of forgetfulness or poor listening skills, the impact is broad. Depression, equally expansive, can drain the vibrancy from life, whispering lies about self-worth or sapping the energy to engage with daily existence. Now, imagine the canvas of a person carrying both of these specters within them – a complex blend of restlessness and desolation.

The Connection Between ADHD and Depression

It does not often occur that one condition causes the other; they're more like dance partners in this pas de deux, with each capable of leading the other into a spiral. Here's why adults with ADHD often find themselves facing depression. The inherent struggle of ADHD, with its consistent challenges, can set the stage for the onset of depression. When daily life feels like an obstacle course, and the finish line is a mirage, it's no wonder the body's chemicals can somersault into the darkness of depression.

Adults with ADHD are at a higher risk for various mental health conditions, and depression is a frequent companion on this difficult path. The fluctuations in mood, the relentless sense of underachievement, and the social difficulties that can come with ADHD serve as a fertile ground for depressive episodes.

The Unique Struggle of Those with ADHD and Depression

For individuals navigating the world with both ADHD and depression, life can become an intricate juggling act. The coexistence of these conditions often amplifies the challenges each brings, making everyday tasks seem Sisyphean. The intricate demands of managing ADHD can interfere with the treatment and self-care routines essential for those battling depression. This dual diagnosis also poses challenges in diagnosis and treatment planning, as depression symptoms may be mistaken for or mask underlying ADHD symptoms.

Managing relationships, a career, and self-care become monumental tasks in the face of these two giants. What's overwhelming for most can feel paralyzing to those walking this particular path, making personal and professional support systems crucial.

Coping Strategies and Management for the Journey Ahead

Life need not be an insurmountable mountain to those affected. Strategies to manage both ADHD and depression are as diverse as the individuals they serve. From daily routines that provide structure and consistency to therapies that help identify and reframe negative thought patterns, there exists a wealth of options for support.

Medication, too, plays a role in the management of these complex conditions. Stimulants are commonly prescribed to help manage the symptoms of ADHD, and selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are often effective in treating depression. The exact regimen, however, must be tailored to the individual's unique circumstances and medical history, and regular communication with healthcare providers is essential.

Breaking Stigma, Building Support

Part of navigating this interplay is to understand the broader social context of mental health. The stigma that can surround both ADHD and depression is a barrier to many seeking the help and support they need. By breaking that stigma through open conversations and sharing experiences, we can create a more supportive community for those affected.

Building support also means becoming adept at self-advocacy. Learn about your conditions, your options, and your rights as a patient. Assert your needs within your professional and personal environments, and build a network of understanding individuals who can champion your cause.

Conclusion: Illuminating Paths Forward

It's important to remember that a diagnosis does not define you, nor does it steal the color from your life. It's merely a starting point for understanding your own complexity. By shining a light on the interplay between ADHD and depression, we pave the way for those affected to take control of their narrative. Seeking support, educating oneself, and being proactive in treatment are the first steps toward reassembling the shattered pieces into a mosaic that radiates with hope and resilience.

If you find resonance in these words, share them, and together, we can extend a hand to others who may still be in the shadows. Your story, along with everyone else’s, matters and is an integral piece in this vast and beautiful tapestry of human experience. The first thread of reclaiming your life is, and always will be, within your reach.

#mental health #healthcare #mental wellness #mental illness #therapy #bipolar disorder #mental health support #bipolar depression

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fandensprayerbook · 4 years

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096. How do they move and carry themselves? What energy do they project?

(( Tyken has Autism\ADHD. And is mentally many a few decades behind everyone as time is passing frighteningly quick past them. And will oftentimes not catch irony and sarcasm directed at them. They’re a bit impulsive, impatient, and disorganized. Not to mention scatterbrained.

With a good posture and a straight back, they walk with a peppy bounce in their step. Always just a moment away from dancing or doing a twirl whenever the mood strikes them. They might use a cane to walk with from time as they have a small limp from having two different anatomical structures in their legs.

Their face sometimes sports an unnaturally large grin on their face from shapeshifting miscalculations. They don’t blink unless it’s on purpose and their irises are pinpricks that won’t expand. They use some theater cues to project their body language. They often write in their note book just to remind themself of important things. If it doesn’t get written, it will be forgotten. When they’re unsure or thinking they tend to bite on something or their fingers.

They giggle. A Lot. Even at inappropriate times. They can’t really help it. And they think being overly chipper, ‘’polite’’ and over-enthusiastically supportive is a replacement for social skills.

The energy they project is; Your silly, rich, distant, but overy friendly uncle figure who’s mentally stuck in the 1920′s.

(( Erik is autistic, but he’s a lot better at understanding jokes, irony, sarcasm, and social cues than Tyken could ever dream of understanding. Just don’t get him started on his special interests; Art theory\history, and Christian religious history. He can think of pulling out a 7 page essay, font Times New Roman size 11, if he feels his conversation partner is receptive to it.

Erik is a ca 10.5 foot tall, square jawed, broad shouldered, muscular giant. And his voice is a deep bass, talking slowly and with purpose.

To Erik, words are important, one shouldn’t waste them. At least he shouldn’t. He’s quiet most of the time, but blunt. Straight to the point if he doesn’t have a lot to say. Erik is more likely to observe what goes on around him than he is participating. But he likes to make flowery descriptions and words when he does have something to say. To paint a scene with his words. Eloquence is important to him. Which makes it worth repeating; words are important, don’t waste them. And they’re not wasted when painting the atmosphere in the light and colors you want.

While his back might be straight, Erik moves by dragging his feet along. He’s in no rush. His eyes darts around to look at and appreciate the sights and the aesthetically pleasing, making sure he takes it all in. He’s in no rush, it’s just the world that is. He lounges on a couch and loves nothing more but to sit there for hours with a good book. One might say he’s a little lazy, he’s not going to disagree; you can have your opinions.

The energy he projects: A giant beef cake who happens to like showing off his washboard, while the same time a well read but quiet and serious individual. Takes his sweet time. ))

#(( I feel I could have said so much more and aren't sure if I'm completely sold with this #but sometimes it just gotta be good enough ))#Anonymous

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bidrums · 5 years

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When I was three my parents introduced me to a little game called “Stay or Go?”

It’s a simple game with a simple concept and simple rules:

You make a small pile of items. You pick one up and ask, “Stay or go?” If it’s “stay,” you put it in a pile and leave it in the room you’re in. If it’s “go,” you put it in a different pile. When you’re done with the large pile, move “go” to your designated area for the items you’re getting rid of.

You can play this by yourself or with a partner. But whoever owns the items needs to be the one deciding “stay” or “go.”

Now, you might be thinking that said game would be a nightmare to play with a three-year-old and that the “stay” pile will always have the most items. And yeah, “stay” was the biggest one for many years.

However, it was a game that I loved playing.

I would play it for hours with my parents and even now they’re some fond memories.

And we stopped playing together and I stopped asking the question out loud, but I still will play it when I want to clean out my room. And we actually still say, “I’m going to clean my room and play Stay or Go, so we should plan on donating Goodwill soon.”

A few weeks ago, I decided to watch the Marie Kondo show on Netflix because people were talking about it and I was interested in what she had to say about tidying and if she had any tips and what exactly “spark joy” meant.

About twenty minutes in, I thought, “Oh! She’s playing Stay or Go but like, with philosophy!”

The KonMari method of tidying encourages putting a set group of items, picking each one up individually, and asking yourself, “What value does this bring to my life? What purpose does it have? Does this improve my life? Does this item and the purpose it serves make me happy by staying? Or will it serve a better purpose by going?” And if you choose “go,” you thank it for being in your life and put it in the “go” pile.

Maybe this is because I’ve done a similar thing for most of my life, but I honestly don’t understand why people are throwing such a hissyfit over the whole process she encourages. She wants you to live your best life and she wants you to have the best living space to achieve that.

“But she thinks books are-”

Good, if they serve a purpose in your life and have a positive impact by being in your house. That’s what she thinks about books. I’m not through the entire season, but there was one episode where one of the people was crying and having a hard time even beginning to go through the books because he had such a strong attachment to them and had a hard time thinking about letting them go. Marie noticed this and asked him what he was thinking. He said that he loved books and that he’s always loved them and he’s never seriously thought about getting rid of any of them before.

And Marie nodded in understanding and held up one of his books and asked, “Do you love this?” and he nodded and talked about how it was one of the first books he truly loved and he reads it again every two or three years.

She nodded, set the book down, and said, “Okay. Then keep it.”

And as he slowly went through the pile you could see him realize that he didn’t need to get rid of any books if he didn’t want to and he fell into a groove and tidied up his bookshelf quickly.

He kept most of his books.

When Marie saw the bookshelf, she talked about how neat it looked and how nice it was and didn’t mention about how he barely got rid of anything because his books made him happy and he organized the space so it reflected that.

“She ignores the fact that some people are mentally ill and can’t-”

No.

She doesn’t.

There was a woman who lost her husband and couldn’t bring herself to touch his things. She brought this up to Marie.

Marie told her that she didn’t need to touch his things if it distressed her. That she didn’t need to try powering through it and could leave it alone and not touch it. That they would not focus on it at all if it distressed her. Because she wanted the house to be neat and tidy and be comfortable and happy, and attempting to reach that goal with emotional distress wouldn’t work.

She constantly makes sure that the people she’s helping are comfortable and not distressed and are focusing on being as comfortable and happy as possible.

“Well the people with severe hoarding disorders or OCD or depression-”

Listen.

I am mentally ill. I am ADHD and have depression with a large helping of severe anxiety.

Even when my room is clean, it’s not clean.

The cleanest my room has ever been has been when we were moving and all my things were in boxes in another room. I am disorganized and my room is a mess on good days. When I’m in a bad place, you can barely walk. As in, you have to tiptoe to move around. There are times when doing laundry is basically impossible for me and I have so much dust to the point I’m avoiding an entire wall because I will start coughing. If something means something to me, I will keep it and not let go of it and the longer I own something the more likely it is I will keep it well past its life expectancy and usefulness because I’ve held on to it this long, might as well keep it longer.

After watching her help other people, I’ve realized that some of my most favorite possessions, the things that I refuse to get rid of, the things I cannot imagine giving up, are not worth keeping. And I have actually thought about how the next time I cleaned they would be the first things I got rid of because they were actually reminding me of times in my life that were painful but also had some happiness so I kept them even though thinking about those things hurt.

After watching a show about helping people organize their homes and the many uses of tiny boxes hoisted by a short Japanese woman who wants people to be happy and fulfilled in life.

I have been playing Stay or Go with those objects for 10 and 11 years now and always picked Stay because I couldn’t bear to let go of them and only now have I realized that I will be happier and will heal much more if I don’t have them.

She doesn’t say “If you have X mental illness, do Y” but she doesn’t have to. Because that’s not what she is set out to do. She says that it’s not for everyone and if it doesn’t work then don’t feel bad.

At the end of the day she wants you to be mindful about your living space and organize it to your comfort levels and gives hints and tips.

And if you don’t like it, that’s okay.

But don’t be mad at people for liking it.

And don’t tell us that we can’t play “Stay or Go.”

#personal rant #marie kondo #also she's so pure #and adorable #and is genuinely happy and invested in these people's lives #and it's great to watch #and makes me happy #and people say she doesn't care #which is not true at all #she just doesn't care about drama #or what people think of her #she cares about making people happy #and works on that #and she does #tidying up with marie kondo #tidying up netflix #konmari

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