#he's trans and doesn't bind bc fuck you.
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been thinking about roxas lately
#kingdom hearts#roxas#kh roxas#pixel art#illustration#this one was quick... hope i can keep that pace up#anw. he's baby#he's trans and doesn't bind bc fuck you.#anw i have. a LOT of headcanons for all the kh kids that are getting revived cause im finally playing thru kh3#u might see some more from me? who knows. but yeah if u look thru my blog u might notice men are missing#that's bc 90% of all fictional boys i care about are from kh
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TRANS MASC COVE TRANS MASC COVE (sfw +nsfw hcs pls,, id love your thoughts)
NO BC NOW YOU'VE PUT THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD N I NEED HIM DESPERATELY
eta while im in the middle of writing: after this i... i can no longer hold onto my fem!cove thoughts. n i am eating up trans!cove like a starving ANIMAL.
tags : SFW + NSFW, transmasc (ftm) cove, switch cove/reader, some mentions of body/gender dysmorphia, im sure theres 1 transphobe walking around sunset bird so the smallest mention of that clown
SFW
i've been seeing a lotta top surgery scar tattoos on my twt timeline lately, and pls some of them i need for myself bc they're so!!!! pretty!!!!
so i can definitely see him getting tattoos there
not because he wants to cover em up, i just think he sees so many flash sheets over time that he's SOLD
mmm i wanna say that fem/afab!cove would have small boobs
or B cups at most
either way, i almost wanna say that his boobs before surgery wouldn't bother him as much unless someone was sexualizing him or he was exercising n his boobs were bouncing too much or smth like that
even then its usually complaints of, "ugh, this bra isn't supportive..." or something like that
ofc he still has his moments
i also think he only binds sometimes, rarely
doesn't do it often since it's often hot outside, or especially if he's sporty, its uncomfortable
(also looked it up just to be sure) but since he's always on the beach its inconvenient/unnecessary to wear if he can't wear it in the water
but like i said i think he'd be pretty flat/small anyway, so i think he's okay
mm definitely doesn't give up having long hair, or wearing the occasional dress/skirt ofc
but will correct one of the old sunset bird residents if they try and say "see honey, it was a phase, you're wearing a dress today!"
also idk abt yall, n this is more of a general thought, but i feel like step 2 cove's impulse control is. deathly low.
so one day, he has long/long-ish hair
and the next he has a mullet, wolf cut, or buzz cut.
he's so chaotic to me pls
now i've had fem!cove on my mind for weekssss now
so i'm not just saying this
but cove is still buff
thick muscly thighs, NICE ARMS. REALLY NICE ARMS
mm so i feel like he looks pretty androgynous or masc anyway
now im projecting here.
but cove has irregular periods, n they're pretty heavy most the time
or lasts awhile (ok im done projecting. sorry cove</3)
also think he deals with cramps (IM SORRY COVE)
i think his period is the biggest trigger of his body/gender dysmorphia too
although i think fem!cove would hate her period anyway altho tbf who doesnt
he'd definitely appreciate some comfort!!!
bring him another heating pad, your comfiest hoodie or blanket and snacks
he's very happy for the thoughtfulness and the company
step 2 cove would definitely be moved by such thoughtfulness... he's in tears
so after the first time it's a trend to spend time together in his bed, watching movies or something while he's cuddled into your side or next to you in a cove-rrito, all sleepy n comfy...
NSFW
had to stop writing the SFW to write this bc i had a thought
cove laid out all pretty... his chest rising and falling and he's all teary eyed as you're between his legs, eating his cunt until he's seeing stars.
pls his cunt with be so sensitive, and he'd be so pretty to fuck
would shake so much too
his thighs quivering so bad he clamps around your hand
you'd have to hold his legs up so he doesn't nearly flatten your head between his thick thighs
"y/n!" cove cries, his hands tangled in your hair and he's trying so hard not to squish your head between his thighs, but your tongue is flat against his sensitive clit, sucking and bullying the poor button while your fingers make a loud, sloppy mess of his hole.
he whines, hips shaking in your hands.
you tighten your grip on his waist, your fingers digging into the flesh, grumbling irritably around his clit but cove just cries out a loud moan and slurred word, torn between your name, a cuss word, and a cry for god.
you pull of his clit, your fingers still curling against that spongy spot inside his sloppy walls. "stay still, you're gonna crush my head..." you start to kiss his thighs, small kisses turning into you sucking deep hickeys into his tan skin, and that turning into biting.
cove gasps for air, his eyes fluttering closed as he squirms.
"fuck, y/n, please..." he mumbles, tugging at the bedsheets.
you stop the assault on his thighs, leaning up on your elbows so you can give cove a kiss, your lips lazily moving together...
anyway... horny aside for a moment<333
mm i could see cove not getting or really wanting bottom surgery
i think trans cove would be pretty comfortable with his body's appearance overall
and he's probably read into it a lot since it's not like he hasn't thought about it, i could just see him probably deciding its not something he wants
ARGGHH HE'D BE A DEMON WITH THE STRAP THOUGH
ahh. cove holding you down or folding your legs against your chest while he slams his hips against yours...
his strap hitting your poor prostate / cervix, he'd coo about how cute your whines are and that you're making him leak
would definitely upset he can't fill you up w cum
especially if you wanna get pregnant, rambles about how much he wishes he could fill you up with his cum again and again and again...
arghhh fuck imma lose my MIND
definitely takes advantage of those squirting dildos
can at least admire how you look oozing milky lube
omfg definitely wakes up all excited to tell you if he dreamed about it too...
has an array of straps
we already know he has a tentacle dildo or two deep in his closet...
yeah tries them out on you
"don't get tired yet, i have one more.. and it has a knot!!!"
he just likes to experiment on you a little~~ bit <333
ohh please tell him he looks handsome/sexy while you're giving him head
he'll die.
FUCK HE'D GO CRAZY IF YOU RIDE HIM TOO I KNOW IT
yeah he's still the same cute, secretly horny, big crybaby pookie <3333 i love him pls
#olba#our life: beginnings & always#cove holden x reader#cove holden#smut#cove x reader#cove x mc#cove our life#cove holden smut#cove holden x mc
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Presenting:
Prowler Pavitr <3<3
Here's Pavitr's design in my Prowler Pavitr au akjdskjdskjkskdsk! It's my au where Pavitr is a fallen hero who used to be Spider-Man and becomes the Prowler, fueled by rage against a world and a system that forced him to pretend at perfection and then only hurt him and the people he loves.
I love him so much,, I have so much stuff in progress about him rn (working on the fics too). Gonna have chaipunk front and center, and like four separate plot arcs, I'm so insane about this au actually -
Anyway here's some infodump about his design inspirations and symbolism I put in it, I loveeeee talking abt him:
Hair -
Okay so this is after some time, like a couple months since Pav became the Prowler, and he's grown his hair out a bit now. It's kind of a mix of rejection of the "masculine" standard of short cropped hair by flaunting his longer curls that he's always been proud of and even had to grow to love
He also dyes his hair purple! Bc he didn't wanna cut his hair but he wanted to do something to set himself apart from his old identity and also he's literally an impulsive 17-18 year old and wanted to do something that felt like owning his own self and asserting autonomy over his body etc etc
Something Borrowed -
The tie that he's using to tie back his hair is his original blue headband!! It doesn't go with his outfit at all but
It's the original blue headband that Maya Aunty got for him all those years ago that he's been wearing forever and it snapped and broke in the battle that preceded what happened to her, and he still keeps it and ties his hair back with it instead
The nosering (nath) used to be Gayatri's, they used to try out her jewelry on him and he loved that one so much she gifted it to him, and since he's basically left his old life and gone no contact with her it's all he has left of Gaya too
Main Outfit -
His jacket is loosely based on Krrish's leather jacket from the Bollywood movie series that's about a superhero named Krrish. I just think it has the dramatique and vibe Pav would like
He binds his chest bc he still hadn't had top surgery but he's way more open about it, with the binding showing through the neck of the jacket now where he would have never dared to hint at it before,,, another thing about how he doesn't care about people's opinions and perceptions and standards anymore, he wants to say fuck you as much to everything in the system as he can and also piss people off while he's at it and a trans antihero/villain is a surefire way to do that.
His dhoti is basically a dhoti pant, modified a bit bc i liked it
He has payals on his feet that make a faint chhan chhan noise when he approaches which has creepiness and cuteness potential imo
I basically turned the prowler logo into his dhoti belt buckle askjdsjk
It's also slightly modified to mimic a trishul or even a diya shape, up for interpretation either way, bc trishuls are a symbol of Shiva, god of destruction, and diyas are a symbol of light in the darkness and the need to find it
Also the chain around the dhoti at his hips is both a reference to decorative dhoti chain accessories and the lil things on it are his modified grenades that he uses for arson, bc Prowler Pav is big on arson and murder ajajsjsj
Prowler Claws -
His bangles/claws were hands down my favourite part to design!!
So his claws are of course his original spiderman bangles modified into the prowler claws
But i based them on three weapons, each of which means something interesting for Pavitr
The first is bagh nakh. Literally translates to "tiger claws", famously used in a legend of Shivaji Maharaj
They usually curl into the palm instead of going between the fingers like they do for Pav, but they're basically metal claws wound secretly around your hand for a sneak attack
It's associated with bravery and righteous rage bc of Shivaji Maharaj but it's also really associated with stealth and an attack from unexpected quarters, being stabbed from a side no one saw coming.
Which. Pavitr. The perfect hero, becoming the Prowler. Come on
Second is the trishul, aka trident
That's the reason there are three prongs to his claw
Trishul is the symbol of the god Shiva, and as i mentioned he's the god of destruction, as in he's part of the main triumvirate of gods who focus on creation preservation and destruction
He also is really really associated with rage, especially destructive rage; he has a whole dance called the tandava for his rage which is a Huge Deal I can't stress this enough
And because Prowler Pav is a being fuelled by rage against a system that has hurt so many including him that he wants to destroy and see burned, it is perfect for him
The trishul is also seen as a symbol of goddess Kali, who's similar in the destruction goddess aspect and also is literally an embodiment of rage and violence that cannot be controlled which is more the theme I started out with, but whichever you notice first, it works either way. There's a whole myth in fact where Shiva had to lie beneath her feet to stop her destructive rampage before it ended the world.
And lastly, the urumi, aka the whip sword from Kerala
Basically each of Prowler Pav's claws extend into whip swords when he does the swing/slash/whip motion
This is really interesting at least to me, bc it means 2 things:
1) Pav still remembers and is actively using some of his skillset from swinging around as Spiderman. He does use the urumis to curl around distant objects and swing too, and they are very lethal weapons when used right, and that use requires a lot of skill, huge parts of which he built up by his experience
2) This is a weapon which requires an unimaginable amount of control, precision and strength
And Pav is doing all that
So all of his actions, every movement, is very deliberate and thought out. He's not doing any of this - turning away from heroism, becoming the Prowler, using these lethal weapons - on a whim. They are all very very deliberate.
Also one more thing - the blades of his claws are all retractable ofc
But they are not protected or anything
They slice up his palms and the in-betweens of his fingers whenever he uses them,, especially when he uses them as urumis
And it would be so easy to fix the design or make gloves or smth so they don't do that
But he doesn't ever do it
He could make it so his hands don't bleed on using his claws
But he doesn't want to
He is an angsty boyo...
Mask -
The eyes are ofc like the prowler mask design except I made them more curved and curled at the end bc that's a kind of shape often seen in traditional art of the headdress of Kali, goddess of uncontrollable violence as I've said before
Then the part between them is meant to be based off a third eye, which is something both Shiva and Kali have. It opens at the height of their rage, it's meant to symbolise destructive fury for them both
Although it's also used in an all seeing context otherwise but a lot of whitewashed bullshit is also there that dilutes sources to find connotations
His theyyam-based tusks from his Spider-Man mask, I wanted to keep
The shape below the eyes is based off the noses in masks in various regional Indian tribal and traditional masks,,, a lot of them tend to have a very distinctive curly nose shape that I wanted to keep, a lot of these masks also depict rage or are intimidating and are very emotive
And then ofc you have the bottom of the mask, I made the curved-ish cut based on the peacock-feather-y shape i was using but it's also based on the general shape of Kali's lips in traditional art where she has her tongue out, it's a big symbol of her rage and rampage
I tried to put the tongue too but it looked awkward and honestly i thought it would be cooler to jsut leave the bottom half of the mask open and you can see Pav's mouth and his expressions through it a bit instead, in the spirit of that
And also it's based a little bit off Krrish's mask, you can never escape the Krrish design
Also there's the lil teeth. Those are often used in art for demons and animals,, and Prowler Pav is very cat coded in his behaviour in general tbh. He's like if an orange cat's fur got burned to black.
Anyway, so yeah, that's him!
#pavitr prabhakar#spiderman atsv#atsv pavitr#chaipunk#goldenpunk#pavitr my beloved#spider man: across the spider verse#au#starr's prowler pav au#starr does art#across the spiderverse#fanfic related#pavitr x hobie#hobie brown#gayatri singh#gwen stacy#miles morales#atsv prowler#prowler pavitr#art#atsv fanart#pavitr prabhakar fanart#spiderverse pavitr#spiderverse#character design#indian culture#traditional art
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for trans day of visibility, here are some of my marauders hcs (spoiler alert: all of them are trans)
james
demiboy
he/they pronouns
crop tops give him gender euphoria (plus they make reggie blush so...)
thought they were cis, wore a flower crown once and immediately thought "yup, not a man"
reg helped him pick a label
sirius
genderfluid
any pronouns but mostly they/he
one day they're wearing the fanciest most dramatic gown and the next the chunkiest leather jacket and remus' jumper
full face of makeup at all times
wears colour coded bracelets to let their friends know what pronouns to use when the gender flows
remus
transmasc
he/him pronouns
came out at the age of 5, hope and lyall did everything in their power to make their little rem rem feel comfortable
chose the name remus for the irony
when asked abt his gender his responses are "old libraries" "a full moon" "earl grey"
peter
agender
they/he/she pronouns
thinks neopronouns are so cool but doesn't know how to use them
calls herself a "triple a battery" (get it? cause they're agender, asexual and aromantic)
would absolutely verbally destroy anyone who dares misgender his friends but can't stand up for themself
lily
polygender
she/they pronouns
is completely ok with being called she but absolutely lights up when ppl use they/them to refer to them
started wearing pronoun pins on her uniform after pandora gave them one as a gift and never took it off
no one dares make fun of them bc the first (and last) person who did it got hexed so hard they ended up in the hospital wing and lily got her first detention ever
marlene
genderqueer
they/she pronouns
loves skirts but hates dresses because she can't bind
didn't understand why it was so uncomfortable for them to wear dresses until pete came out
closeted with their family but out to everyone else
mary
demigirl
she/her pronouns for the general public, she/they pronouns for close friends
tries to incorporate her flag on every outfit, either a pin, a bracelet, graphic liner or just wearing the colours
isn't uncomfortable with being called a girl but doesn't really sit right with them either
prefers to be called "lover" rather than "girlfriend"
regulus
trans man
he/him pronouns
taught sirius how to do makeup in exchange of them cutting his hair
tattoed waves over his top surgery scars
has an inhumane amount of knowledge about microlabels and niche identities
pandora
transfem
she/her pronouns
flowy dresses give her the biggest gender euphoria
thought she was a straight guy but didn't feel right about it, when she figured out she was just a trans lesbian it all made sense
really into greek mythology and picked the name pandora because of the myth
dorcas
genderfae
they/them pronouns
has so many pronoun and flag pins in their bag at all times and gives them away to anyone who asks
constantly has to correct teachers on their pronouns
hyperfemme gender expression at all times because "fuck gender norms, my skirt doesn't dictate my gender, you know my pronouns so fucking use them"
barty
bigender
he/she pronouns
saw dorcas doing panda's makeup after she came out, asked them if they would do hers and felt so insanely happy looking in the mirror after they were done
black eyeliner in his bag at all times
her gender could better be described as "skate park"
evan
"no clue but definitely not a cis man"
they/he pronouns
uses "girl" as gender neutral
doesn't want to label their gender, bangs on about it being a social construct and "can't be arsed to define it"
when the gender dysphoria hits, he draws on their arms with a felt tip pen, barty started noticing this pattern and ever since then, evan asks her to draw on them instead
#trans day of visibility#marauders era#marauders#james potter#remus lupin#sirius black#peter pettigrew#lily evans#marlene mckinnon#mary macdonald#regulus black#pandora rosier#dorcas meadowes#barty crouch jr#evan rosier#genderfluid sirius black#agender peter pettigrew#polygender lily evans#genderqueer marlene mckinnon#demigirl mary macdonald#trans regulus black#genderfae dorcas meadowes#transfem pandora rosier#bigender barty crouch jr#genderqueer evan rosier#transmasc remus lupin#demiboy james potter#dead gay wizards#moony wormtail padfoot and prongs#fuck jkr
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the way you draw Aki is so comforting bc i have always seen him as a trans man who doesn't really care about surgery or binding or whatever. to me he's always the kind of guy who if he got misgendered he'd be like "im a guy actually. anyway" bc genuinely he just has so much other shit on his mind and he really doesn't give a fuck about other ppl and how they see him (same as me!)
YURRRPPPP … i agree heavy. first of all when i first got this ask it genuinely made me so happy to read… my sensitive ass almost cried… im really glad when my aki (or any other specific thing i draw) makes people feel comforted or anything like that.
secondly… yes… i’ve never considered aki to be someone who cares at all about how people see him lmfaoo. like his appearance doesn’t bother him, and it’s a big thing for me that it doesn’t bother any of sees either. i love drawing him casually existing with them and it’s not a big deal 😭
anyways i’m having so much trouble forming coherent sentences rn ? so let me just repeat myself and say thank u so much for telling me this 🫶 i’m really happy that he brings you comfort.
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MAURA MAURA MAURA hiii :333 how are you how's stuff going!!! popping in to check in on you. hope you're feeling better bc i know you had a tougher time lately!!
and im here to dump my trans4trans javid tthoughts here. ok so i once read a really nice fanfic that portrayed david as presenting as a boy first to get a job as a newsboy after mayer's injury (i imagine they didn't take in girls or at least not too eagerly) and it was the first time he ever felt good and like truly himself. plus the name he chose . david. it was powerful and had significance as he was a Jewish person and like. obviously he felt so great!! and he also binded. though he was so anxious that the newsies would see that he isn't a "real" boy (obviously only using such wording to like. illustrate david's thoughts) but they didn't!! and david was welcomed and obviously there was also jack. and they were pretty infatuated right from the start. ok now just wanted to make clear that im just sharing my thoughts now. as for jack's transness i think the guys at the lodge all know? they've known jack for so long and he's their friend and he definitely trusts them a lot and obviously they support him! he's their guy!!! he's jack!!!! but they also obviously don't tell anyone that jack is trans. jack doesn't tell either. but as i was saying. jack and dave connect immediately and they get pretty enamored right away, and everyone could see that as well. and i imagine the first time jack learned that david is trans was when he had the talk with pulitzer... and pulitzer obviously disclosed some pretty personal information about david (his deadname) along with threatening to hurt his family if jack didn't comply. and since then jack knew obviously, and i think that only made him fall harder because. what are the odds that the guy you're in love with is *like you* in such a deep way? that he'll be able to understand you? that he'll take you seriously and you won't have to worry about not being perceived as a real guy? and after the strike when jack came back and everything was okay again. they definitely got closer and closer until eventually the inevitable Thing happened. a kiss probably or just a touch that was so unmistakably tender that they couldn't ignore their feelings any longer. and jack, before saying that he's in love, says that he knows david is trans. david literally gets paler than a sheet of paper and panics and wants to start apologizing but then jack quickly cuts him off with "no, dave, me-- me too! it's okay!" and then it sinks in for david and he's also so overwhelmed but in a good way and he can't help but just laugh and probably stim a bit because he's delighted for the same reason that jack is!!! and they definitely confess their feelings and they're so so very happy together. two boys in love :-)
DAVE DAVE DAVE!!!!! HI!!! Thank you for checking in :))) I’m alright! School starts soon so I’m a little nervy but I’m ok. I hope you’re doing well!!!!!
I HAVE DEFINITELY READ PART OF THIS FIC BEFORE (idk if I finished it but I remember loving it)
The the part about Jack finding out about Dave in Pulitzers office. Like,,, he realizes how much more danger David is in than he initially thought. And like it completely changes Jack and Snyder’s dynamic and why Snyder is so obsessed with catching this boy and how brutal his time in the Refuge might have been
And,,, David finding out that Jack knows. His entire world falls out from beneath him and he thinks this is just another person that he drove away because he doesn’t know how to be normal but the second he realizes Jack is safe he probably cries through laughter because what the fuck what a roller coaster of emotions to go on. And they just hug each other for a really long time and David probably says something about thinking he was the only one. And Jack’s like “oh boy have I got a surprise for you” because there are so many trans newsies (because I said so)
Also it makes David so happy to hear Les happily running around telling everyone that David is his older brother :’)
t4t Javid is the only Javid I love them sm
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Qsmp lgbt and gender headcanons bc why not (part 1/?)
‼️Quick info before you read‼️, the half of characters will be either nonbinary or agender because I am autistic and I have really hard time understanding/telling people's gender. I do not mean to make gender variety, I just want to show how I see the characters.
‼️If any of the characters have canon gender and/or sexuality already please tell me this‼️
qPhil
• I like to think that hybrids have no idea what is gender or just don't care much about it. I think qPhil also doesn't give a shit about gender, so I hc him as agender + ace panromantic
• He most likely doesn't experience any body dysphoria or any dysphoria related to his gender.
• Uses he/him pronouns because he likes them and is used to them
• Likes to wear long skirts and adhering to the body blouses sometimes (he shops in hot topic, canon/j)
• If it isn't obvious yet, he doesn't gaf about what if feminine or masculine. He just wears whatever he likes and doesn't have a problem with anyone doing the same
• Yeah he just doesn't give a shit about anything
qQuackity
• It was always really hard to me to tell his gender as I thought he was something between nonbinary and trans man
• but I figured out that he also probably wouldn't give a fuck about his gender ☠️
• he does know what gender is unlike qPhil so I guess he would be on nonbinary spectrum
• Maybe tilin had something to do with qQ's gender 👀
• They were like, talking about Tilin's gender and Q was like "oh kinda same lmao 🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️"
• any pronouns, likes to experiment
• i think he would be something between ace gay and ace bisexual but I am not sure
• loves to wear hyperfeminine dresses like these coquette girls lmfao
• tying their hair with pink ribbon while listening to lana del rey
qWilbur
• Again, it's rather hard for me to tell his gender but I was thinking he could be unlabeled
• really likes feminine terms like "miss", "lady" and all but people rarely use them on him :(
• any pronouns ! !
• Their clothing is probably similar to cc wilbur, just his outfits + some long skirt
• So her and qPhil are pretty similar in dressing up
• I also don't think she experiences a lot of gender dysphoria, there are worse days but it's nothing extreme
• and he is most likely bi
qForever
• trans man
• he used to be bullied a lot, so he kinda grew up with toxic stereotypes of how a "real" man should look like
• He used to fight, hit a gym, be agressive and anything that would be seen as manly
• he eventually stopped and became more peaceful
• ignoring the gender stereotypes as he grew his hair and started to wear feminine clothing from time to time
• but he does get a bad dysphoria days when everything he lived through comes back to him
• He usually then locks himself in his house and doesn't talk to anybody
• qBaghera can always sense when her brother is upset and she tries to talk to him
• When he opens up on others more, there is a lot of people comforting him on bad days, like qBad, qPhil, qMaxo and the brazillians ofc!
• So he is fragile when it comes to his gender
• so yeah, he/him pronouns
• And he is also probably bi or gay
qRoier
• Genderqueer gay
• Any pronouns but he usually leans on he/him!
• I think he binds his chest when he is not melissa, but sometimes she just doesn't gaf about his breasts lmao
• He doesn't know much about gender since she is spider hybrid (my hc), so again no gender stereotypes work on him
• Probably gets qcellbit and qjaiden to mall for shopping and ends up being in here for like 3 hours
• he has a huge sense of fashion so yea
#qsmp#qsmp headcanons#qsmp phil#qsmp philza#q philza#q phil#qsmp wilbur#q wilbur#qsmp roier#q roier#quackity#qsmp quackity#q quackity#qsmp forever#q forever
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do you have any hcs for tang?? more specifically gender bc tbf i need his
Here are HIS GENDER HEADCANONS!!! WOOOOO.
Sorry if this is not what you meant. I just thought this was more fun.
Tangerine is a trans guy to me but. There are some specifics.
He doesn't like needles or hospitals like at all, anything having to do with medical stuff he hates so he didn't get top surgery and it doesn't really bother him he just envies Ladybug.
He binds sometimes (he will forget to take it off. that's the problem.) but usually, he just wears trans tape and layers something over it or doesn't, depending on what he's wearing or the textures of whatever he puts on.
He isn't very dysphoric, he used to be it just faded the more he got to be accepted as, Thomas over the years.
ALSO HE GOT. HE/THEY/IT SWAG. im just projecting there but YEAH.
That's all! If you think he takes T then he takes T Gel. Fuck needles.
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if i could ask without it being rude. . .
what/when did you realize you were nonbinary?
lately i've been wondering if the gender binary fits for me and i was just hoping you might have some answers or guidance or something
anon this is not rude at all! i am always open to talk about my experiences with gender identity! thank you so much for feeling safe enough to come to me, I do hope my answer sheds some light on things for you.
please excuse any spelling errors bc I am currently typing with one eye open haha. (also under a read more bc i got wordy sorry I hope this helps!! I'm here for you anon!!)
So, I was about 19 when I realized that 'girl' didn't really fit me? Looking back I think it might have always been like this, but I grew up in a small southern town where the only out gay person was bullied so relentlessly that he left town and we never saw him again.
So, 19, I come across this tumblr account that centered heavily on genderfluidity, and for a while that identity felt safe to me? I've always been more masculine leaning in general, from a very young age and at the time (this was 2011) genderfluid seemed right. I would fluidly slip between masc and fem and it all felt comfortable and safe and nothing like I'd ever experienced before. Small town me finding out there was more than just gay, lesbian, bi and trans? (trans here in the sense of transgender like, trans man or trans woman).
So yeah, I think at that point for me though, I just lost my mom, I was dealing with a lot of stuff and I didn't have the bandwidth to look too far into anything beyond something that finally made sense in my brain. So while I do still stand by me ID'ing as genderfluid for a few years, it never actually felt right. And you know? That's okay. It was sort of a stepping stone for me, I think. To look more into other gender identities. Because at that time, beyond genderfluid I only knew of trans men and trans women, in like I guess the binary gender sense?
To preface this, I know that definitions of transgender has changed over the years, this is just my personal experience with all of this, which is why some of it may come off as idk outdated?
Anyway, while I ID'd as genderfluid, I went by a masculine nickname and still used she/her pronouns just because I didn't really consider using anything else. Someone once referred to me using he and that sorta felt okay? But also not...right? At the same time. Like it felt better than she, but in the sense that it was a little off to the left of better. Not a perfect fit, but an okay one.
Honestly I could probably dig deep enough on my blog and maybe find some ramblings from that time if I tried hard enough, though I can't for the life of me figure out what I'd have tagged it haha.
So, I don't exactly remember what finally brought on nonbinary other than once I told someone that I didn't really feel like a person? I felt more like a genderless blob so to speak, and that she/her and he/him didn't really feel right to me.
And that friend was like 'well what about they?'
And then someone referred to me using they and everything sort of clicked into place right after that.
My experiences with gender have been quite turbulent, in the past I've dealt with heavy gender dysphoria because I had this idea in my mind that I needed to look androgynous in order to identify as nonbinary. That I wasn't nonbinary enough if I had tits. I binded for several years and fucked my ribs up with it because I am also fat. So, in I would say 2013 is when I finally started using nonbinary? So internet culture led me to believe I needed to be thin and have a flat chest in order to be the right kind of nonbinary, because otherwise I was just a woman.
I still get called she/her in my real life, other than my husband and our friend who both use they/them when referring to me. But, I've learned these past several years that nonbinary doesn't look a certain way? That I don't have to be more masculine leaning in order to ID that way. It feels right, when people use they/them and when they call me Lee, which is why I typically introduce myself that way, other than doctor's offices, and other official places use my birth name.
It took a lot of growing for me, because I had so many negative ideas about femininity and how I could also navigate that while being nonbinary. I refused to wear makeup for the longest time because I thought that that meant I was just faking it, and being a woman.
I've always wanted to be feminine but in the same way that like, a masculine person can be feminine, I guess? So like, in a 'cis man wears a dress and makeup' sort of way if that makes sense.
And I had this idea that I couldn't do that, otherwise I was just a fake nonbinary person?
What ultimately helped me was in 2016/2017 when I worked for Home Depot, my head cashier actually lead a local lgbt+ group and she immediately latched onto me not being straight or cis. Again, this was the south so there was a little bit of growing pains, we all ended up sitting down and talking about gender identity, I talked with some older people who were nonbinary and it opened my mind to start viewing things in a way that like, helped me, I guess?
Like, yeah, makeup is traditionally worn by a woman, but because I am not a woman, wearing makeup does not make me a woman. Just as wearing traditionally masculine clothing, does not make me a man. It just makes me a person wearing make up or a person wearing clothing.
I think overall, if I would have stayed on the internet and kept listening to those people who say that you have to look/be a certain way in order to be nonbinary, I wouldn't have probably reconciled my own issues with how I perceived myself vs nonbinary.
Overall, I'd say start small, the first thing I did was use neutral pronouns, this isn't to say you can't use neopronouns if those feel right to you, or use something like he/they or she/they bc a lot of nonbinary people do that too.
It's okay to experiment with gender. It's okay to tell your friends that you want to be referred to using only neutral pronouns, or a set neopronouns, or what have you. See how that feels.
Take a step back and look at how you perceive certain things, when I was finally able to let go of the idea that things had to be gendered, and that those gendered things only fit one particular gender, it made things so much easier for me.
I stopped hating my chest. Like I'd said earlier, I binded for a while, and it was so uncomfortable, but I Felt like I had to just because of what I'd heard the uh "gatekeepers of gender" say. But now? finding a bra that fits nicely and accentuates my chest? Euphoric.
None of that makes me a woman. I am just a person, and I like things.
Living in the south, good luck with me trying to ever explain this to people around here. So I'm out, but I'm not explicitly out I guess. If people clock it? Good for them. If not? Oh well. I don't really correct people on my pronouns, just because I've finally reached a point where I'm okay with it. My sister and brother in law still call me by my birth name and that's fine too. Because in my head, my name is Lee and my birth name is just a nickname that they have for me.
And again, all of this came with time. With several years. I started this when I was 19 and I'm 31 now, so it took a decent chunk. It's important that you've got a good support system too. And honestly, I'm here for you anon. If you ever need to talk, or vent or anything, my askbox is open. If you wanna come off anon and dm me? Sure.
I can even give you my discord if you'd prefer that.
Navigating gender can be scary, but, it'll be okay. <3
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for the sending character thing: Izumi sena bc im basic
[evil smile]
sexuality hc - gay gay homosexual gayass mother fucker but, and this is important to me, not in ye old gay misogynist anime boy doesn't even look at women way but in a straight man's written caricature straight woman's gay best friend plaything way you know. which i think is HILARIOUS especially for a gacha anime boy what the fuck man
gender hc - he could absolutely be a trans guy he fucking could. you know the izumi sena unsafe binding official art im talking about
i don't think he's cisgender at all, but calling him effeminate just feels too damn right- he's in the gray space the gender not soup but void
ships - um. give me a ship as full of gut pulling history and reprehensible turmoil but beautiful reconciliation and resolve as izuleo and i cannot for the life of me be expected not to eat that shit up come on now they literally got married in florence what can i say
however ASIDE FROM THE OBVIOUS izukao chiaizu and all three as a polycule is <333 being in that class must have been like a fever dream i've always longed for what they had there
and ritsuizu urgh!!!!! they are (very very very very often) portrayed in fanfictions(tm) as a side pick me up/friends w benefits situation and You Know What? i agree it's always just whatever anyway with those two isn't it
brotp - 3a trio AGAIN because i contain multitudes. and Oh she's about to say something weird again izushu platonic kismesis that makes sense okay i think they're very silly. lastly izunaru!!!! arashi can be like the straight girl to his gay best friend
notp - don't think i have one for him (as i dont for most characters hsfg)
random hc - well besides the fact that izuleo getting married in florence was not a canonically explicitly stated event but it totally happened in my head, ahh we have the classic 3a trio being the only three who actually showed up to class 3a and kaoru, almost skipping himself initially, is able to convince them to all go down to the beach before their teacher shows up So he spent days in the sand with those two a lot during his school days
general opinion - he's such a textbook capital b Bitch and im really glad he didn't get all that much development in that area by the time we arrived in !! .like he got better but all i can say is that's the difference between Being a High Schooler and not being a high schooler aghhfhj he is so fucking funny what's he all bitter over 24/7 he has self inflicted asshole brain disease which is just like me fr... he is also very pretty :3
#i babble a lot huh#i dont like speaking unprompted (she's mentioned that..) so when i do get prompted. eheh#i have a lot to say! it's all been marinating#shav in my ask box#ask game
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Today my parents were talking about how "woman typically go through 2 or 3 types of puberty/growing shit" and all I could think was oh joyous me I get even more bc probably by the time I get to start T I'll already be done with those 2 or 3 :(
Frowny face is very important
Why do my parents suck fucking ass I hate them
They don't actually respect my gender
Theyre ignorant to so many things and when I try to talk they do not fucking listen
They will get be a binder and binding tape and let me cut my hair short and let me be out but they are against the idea of me medically transitioning??
I've said "yeah I am getting top surgery as soon as I can" and they go "no don't do that :( >:( "
I've mentioned that I want to start T and they are too worried of the effects of it (ya know, the ones that are expected and that I want out of it) to actually think about letting me start that shit
They outed me to all of our friends and family
They don't use my correct pronouns, and I know when I originally came out I came out he/they but like c'mon man. Switch it up some. Please?? Like did you just forget orrrrr...... Like I know you said "we'll start with they/them to get everyone used to the 😢😢 then we'll switch" but you have not ONCE used he/him on me
They make SO MANY passive comments about so much BS and it's just astounding that you can "accept me" but say such things
One thing I will never forget is my father looking me in the eyes and saying sternly to my face "you will never be a man until you can pull your pants down and show me a dick and two testicles" (and yet you're against me medically transitioning. How does that work exactly?)
Worst part of that last one is he doesn't even remember saying it because he was black out drunk and was confused when I was ignoring him for days. I had to tell him what he fucking said. Actually I couldn't even say it I wrote it down showed it to my sister and my sister passed that note to my father (wanted her to do that because I just could not-) (even talking about it here and now almost brings me to tears. I cried for like 4 hours that night)
Another worst part of that was my mom didn't even say anything. She was in the room with us when he said that. She did nothing. Absolutely zero.
How is it that the worst things that's been said to be regarding my gender (worst transphobia) came from MY PARENTS????and it's hard too cuz they're all "I love the LGBT I love you doesn't matter if you're gay straight trans or purple!!" And yet they just DO these THINGS
Shout out to all queer people who have "accepting" parents and have to deal with their fucking BS
#tw transfobia#sorry for the rant#just thinking on these things#like i can't even talk to then aboit their behavior bc they will throw a hissy fit
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Something potentially angsty: What sorts of things make Legend feel dysphoric? And how does he cope with dysphoria? Hopefully he gets some help with that from his partners.
for anyone who'd potentially be triggered, I'll put it under a cut. also it's a little long, predictably hehehe :3c
cw for mentions of menstruation, sex, and genitals. 18+ discussion lol duh
y'know, when people talk about dysphoria, they usually mean body dysphoria, but that's not all there is. trans ppl who don't have bodily dysphoria probably have social dysphoria, and that's like. a big thing. that's like your whole life, how you interact with people, how people see you, etc. using the right pronouns and your gender presentation is super important so you can interact with people and they see you how you want to be seen (and there's a bit about that later in Confidential).
so, as of right now in the story, he's not horribly dysphoric. Legend used to be way worse, and Rav has helped a lot with that. and once he starts T, that helps as well. it just makes you feel better! kinda how you think you're supposed to feel.
but uhh periods kinda fuck him up emotionally. those stop shortly after starting T, but until then he needs the standard stuff to combat menstrual woes, plus lots of hugs and general comfort. i wish i could metagame him a diva cup to use, but T works better in the long run imo lol.
Legend doesn't have much bottom dysphoria rn (thank you Ravio for helping with his confidence and beating down his insecurities, which were mostly born from not knowing if Ravio would like him like that, to loop back to the social dysphoria thing. tho Legend does have to jump a mini version of that hurdle whenever a new person is introduced to the polycule's bed, but it's never as bad as the first) but he does have some top dysphoria. he binds, so that does help, but for my fam with tiddies, y'know how when you get home you yeet off the bra? same thing with a binder. wear it too long and it starts to hurt your ribs, tho i think with the construction of Legend's stays (how they're boning and not spandex panels like modern binders) it might not be so bad? idk i'd have to look more into corsetry (again vhdsvnldsk). BUT YEAH the stays have gotta come off eventually and when Legend feels a little more dysphoric about it, he'll layer and just opt out of any of his partners touching his chest until he feels better about it, bc it's usually not a huge problem for him. and he will eventually get top surgery! after the quest when he has time to be still for a recovery period lol
stuff for how his partners help him with looks/body dysphoria is they compliment him! they tell him he looks handsome and point out little masculine things about him. clothes help a lot, especially things tailored to fit and lay on the body a certain way. his partners know what things make him generally euphoric. they let him take the "leading position" in kisses and tuck themselves into his side to hug and cuddle. he likes taking care of them and that is traditionally a masculine thing, and sometimes leaning into stereotypes isn't a bad thing. they break out the cheesy titles ("my good sir!" "my liege" etc) and flirt with him, make him laugh, and help him feel better in general. they kinda play damsel in distress sometimes to get him to help them ("Legenddddd, this box is too heavy, I need my big, strong, heroic boyfriend to come lift it for me!" "[flustered] ...oh holy gods, fine..."), bc he feels best when he's useful. Wars might invite him to spar if they both feel good and the weather's nice! so yeah :3 they help improve his mood and throw in affirming compliments, on top of distracting him from the issue.
if he's having a more gnc presenting day and wants to wear a skirt or something and he's feeling iffy about it, it's a lot of the same stuff. he still wants to be seen as a man, and his partners will still do the affirming thing and offer to not go anywhere that day so he can wear his skirt in peace and not have to worry about being Perceived by anyone less understanding. he's more likely to wear stuff like that out and about in other people's eras, like Wild and Odyssey's.
Legend is my very specialest trans baby and i love him sooo so much, i want the very best for him.
-Kio, local trans who's perhaps projecting just a little vndkvnkls
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idk if the dysphoria im feeling is real, like, im enby and ive tried he/him pronouns and they just dont work for me.... but i feel like a boy. i feel like i want a dick and i want a flat chest and i dont like people looking at me, but i dont know if thats real or if its just from the media i consume and an unhappiness with how my romantic relationships go,,
yeah I have no idea but there no like. list of Things that make you Man or Wamen or Enby, you can just do whatever you want and be comfortable however you are regardless of identity esp considering that everything I do would make me a man except oh fuck! im not a man and I don't need permission to do Man things
also you don't Have to Hate Yourself to want those things. you can just go 'i would like this' and that's it. you don't have to 'cope' with how you are now, if you normally wear blue shirts but wanna start wearing red shirts you don't have to make up a Reason aside from 'Red Shirt Time'
I bind and I take T and I use He/Him but at the same time the idea that you can't do those things without being a man is a whole can of worms and the thing I'd like to remind any people reading this of is that me doing this things to make myself comfy and just exist how I want doesn't oppress or hurt anyone or somehow force cis people to go 'oh! im going to be transphobic now' bc they'll do that regardless and if they're not willing to respect me in that im allowed to be comfortable and do what I'd like then they won't respect a binary trans man any more than that either
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