#he took daughter shopping because she had good grades
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#sol invictus#adramelekh#original characters#original character#OC#OC's#OCs#he took daughter shopping because she had good grades
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take a deep breath for me
1st request from @jben073 , grace getting overstimulated and steph comforting!
im no stranger to being overstimulated, but im still not sure how to write it as someone who im pretty sure is neurotypical?
so fair warning if its inaccurate, i tried pulling from peoples experiences and a bit of my own for grace.
anywho, lets get to it! a nighthater tumblr preview ig
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If someone had told Stephanie Lauter, reluctant daughter and overall "girl-who-doesn't-give-a-shit" that she'd have to help someone like Grace Chasity with being overstimulated, she'd look at the them confused and laugh in their face.
So how the fuck did she get into a situation like this?
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Ever since she's been hanging out with Pete, Grace, and the rest of the school's so-called "Nerdiest Prudes," most of them have been safe. Well, because of her and Jägerman. Even then, some people still harass the students often. Especially Grace. Yet today was a little different.
It's a rare occasion when Max Jägerman misses school. The boy rarely got sick, and his father never cared enough to take him anywhere besides school and football games. So whenever he's gone, the rest of the school preys upon the prudes. Today was also a good day to go after Hatchetfield High's resident preacher.
Grace has had a relatively rough day already. Her father ended up dropping her off late for homeroom and she's been behind in completing all of her assignments. Her mind's a mess since the Waylon Place, and it has not been treating her good.
On her way to her AP Biology class, two of Max's football friends had decided to smack the notebook she had held and laughed at her while she picked it up. One of them taunted, "Aww, what's the matter? You gonna cry to Jesus about it?" Usually, Grace would easily refute back at them with the very repetitive, "You will all be going to hell!" speech, but today she just let them continue. One more thing to add onto a massive, unstopping headache that left her agitated.
When she got to AP Bio, some of the cheerleaders were waiting there. They immediately took the notebook again, and tossed it over to the two originally picking on Grace. She was mad, but it felt odd. It felt like it was all too much. The louder they laughed, the more that Grace felt like she needed to get out of there and scream. The loud insults, the sun getting in her eyes, the bell ringing? It was all too much for Grace "Chastity Belt" Chasity.
Somehow, Steph was also in Grace's AP Bio period. She may be a bit misguided, but she's certainly not that stupid. Sure, it's almost a failing grade, but hey, a 63% is all right with the mayor's daughter. As she was once again late to her classes, she saw that people were once again, picking on Grace. Steph knows better, and she knows that Grace Chasity always wards people like that easy. However, seeing her run off, tears rolling down her face and a face that looks like she'll kill someone was a different situation.
The group of people teasing and making fun of Steph quickly left, and Steph went after the crying girl right after they left. Look, she's not one to help comfort people, but seeing one of her closest friends cry is her limit. Following Grace, she ended up in a storage closet in the school. Steph decided not to go in right after Grace, as to give her some time to relax a little.
"Oh gosh darn it!" Grace had been breathing heavily and shaking for quite a bit. She's obviously upset, but for what? She has no idea what in the world is causing this, and it seriously sucks! To be honest, this kind of thing would happen frequently with her, especially when she was younger, but it was never like this. Never where Grace Chasity would have to skip a class to calm down.
The smell of the wood in the room was a familiar sense. Shop Class, from her junior year. She always did like Mr. Houston the best as a teacher. Looking around, Grace's breathing slowing down and her temper cooling, she hears a knock at the door. She quickly backed away and considered hiding, but she knew she'd been caught.
"Chasity? You... you doing better? It's um, Steph. I just wanna check on you, that's all." The voice of Stephanie Lauter soothed her a lot more. Yet, it also scared her. The fact that Steph was also skipping Bio just to see how she was doing? It was charming. And really thoughtful, too.
Grace stood up and walked towards the door, letting Steph in as her notebook dropped on the ground. Steph quickly went to go pick it up as the two of them sat on the floor right by the door. Sitting shoulder to shoulder, the room was silent. Steph had no idea what to do in this situation, so she didn't talk or engage in anything with Grace unless she did it first.
Breaking the silence, Grace had began to ramble, saying, "I'm sorry Stephie, I just kind of freak out sometimes like that. I don't even know why I do this! I mean, I've been doing this since I was young, but I guess I've been repressing like my parents sa-" Steph quickly saw that her breathing got quick and her face was about to cry, so she stopped her, holding out a palm with one of her rings on the inside.
"Just take a deep breath, ok? It's fine, Grace. You're just here in the shop storage room, and- and it's clear that a lot is getting to you."
Steph may haven't been the quietest person, but she's a damn good observer. So much so, she knows that Grace loves to play with a ring whenever she has one on. Steph also knows that Grace frequently taps her foot in a very syncopated rhythm when nervous. She also knows that Chasity repeats the phrase "cool beans" as a way of motivating or calming herself down. Along with biting her nails when nervous, shaking her hands and almost spinning when she gets excited, and biting her tongue when confused.
Steph had quietly noticed all of these traits. Thought it would be no big deal until now. After all, it's just her friend Grace Chasity and all the little things she does.
Grace grabbed the ring, sighing as she puts it on her finger and fidgets with it. "How did you know I liked to do this, Stephie?" Grace asked her, causing Steph to twiddle her thumbs and looking elsewhere. She replied, "Oh, y'know. Just noticed it during AP Calc, I guess." Grace smiled slightly as she put her hands down, mumbling to herself.
"Stephie, do you know what autism is?" Steph looked at her, a bit off guard with the question. "Yeah, I do. How come?" Grace looked a bit nervous, trying to keep eye contact with Steph. "So- uh, I'm on the spectrum? I mean, I was diagnosed when I was younger, but I have just kind of been ignoring. My mommy and daddy says to just pray to God and hope it goes away, y'know. I've prayed and prayed everyday, pleading that I won't be so overwhelmed."
"So why won't it go away?"
Steph looked at Grace, her face filled with concern and a hint of confusion on how to answer a question like this. "Because... it's just a part of you. You've been denying you've been so overstimulated for a while, haven't you?" Steph asked, Grace nodding yes. "Um, I'm not on the spectrum, so I have no idea how you're feeling, Grace. However, I know that, if needed, I'm here for you. If you want, of course." Grace faces Steph fully, her attention on her as she smiles.
"Thanks, Stephie." Grace said, getting her notebook back from the other girl. Standing up, Grace looked around the storage room. SHe didn't want to go to the class, but she also knew that both Steph and herself would be in trouble if caught skipping. Trying to think about the possibilities for trying to hide in the room, Grace walked around.
Weirdly enough, the rows of plywood in the room comforted Grace, letting her think more. Maybe it reminded her of her favorite class, or her favorite class, or her favorite kid to babysit. Nonetheless, she knew that she couldn't be here for long. Breathing in deeply, she walked back to the door, opening it. Steph stood up, peeking out once Grace opened it slightly.
Thankfully, there was never many students that would skip a class so early in Hatchetfield High, so there are rarely any hall monitors in the school. Because of this, Steph and Grace quickly snuck out of the big storage room and returned back to their Biology class in the same hallway they were in. Steph held onto Grace's hand to reassure her and to remind that she has someone to rely on when something like this happens again.
After all that, Steph was still trying to make sure that Grace wasn't too overwhelmed with any of the classes they had together. From giving her one of her airpods to take a break from all the noise and instead listening to Steph's very explicit (and very good) playlist to helping isolate herself during a group activity if it seemed like too much.
Grace was very appreciative of this, and got even closer to Steph. Every time she'd get overwhelmed at school, somehow, Steph was there.
Even then, what's that feeling that Grace gets whenever she's around Steph?
Whatever- she's gotta cool her beans.
Cool, cool beans.
#npmd#grace chasity#stephanie lauter#lautity#starkid#steph lauter#stephgrace#hatchetfield#nerdy prudes must die#team starkid#holy shit#this fic is long#whatever#gay ppl#wlw#hatchetverse#hatchetblr
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Feels Like Home
Derek sat outside of the small coffee shop watching young couples, overworked mothers, and tired college students come and go. He held his own steaming cup in his hands. His jacket pulled tightly around him, his scarf wrapped around his neck. It was a bit too cold to be sitting outside. Not many others were and not for long, but Derek needed this. He needed something to kill the whirring in his chest. It felt like a hurricane under his skin. At first he thought it was him being homesick but when he visited Beacon Hills, nothing was the same. Stiles had joined the FBI. Isaac had moved to France. Lydia went off to some fancy school. Scott became a vet in Los Angeles. His house had been torn down and was now being turned into a park.
The feeling only continued to get worse. He felt restless. He had been traveling since he split from Braden almost four years ago. He never stayed anywhere long because it felt wrong. Nowhere felt like home anymore. He was a drifter with nothing to root him into place. He'd even visited Cora for a few months before having to move on.
Now he sat at a small coffee shop in New York City seeking comfort in the faint memories he'd made here years ago with Laura. They'd sit at this very table and people watch for hours. Laura would make up stories about the bickering couple that walked by, or the teenagers seeking their caffeine high for the day.
Derek watched a mother with their teenage daughter walk by. He imagined what Laura would say about them.
Perhaps she'd claim the mother was lecturing her daughter about choosing boys over her grades while the daughter ignored her in favor of texting her friends.
The thought brought a smile to his face. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The cold November air burned his lungs. The sun would be setting soon and it would be too cold to people watch. He tipped back the last of his coffee and stood to make his way...somewhere. Back to the hotel he was staying in? That thought made his chest tighten. Perhaps he'd find something to occupy himself on the way.
He tossed his empty cup into the nearby trash and headed down the busy sidewalk. He was never a fan of big cities. It had too many scents and noises. Laura said that was what made it the perfect place to live until they knew they were safe from hunters.
Derek tried not to breath too deep as he continued down the sidewalk. He let his feet carry him aimlessly through the crowded streets, navigating traffic and pedestrians with ease, until he found himself standing at the entrance of central park.
Laura loved to go running here. It was the closest thing to home at the time. Derek had rolled his eyes claiming the handful of trees didn't compare to the reserve. He stood by that even now. Though lately even the reserve didn't feel like home.
He closed his eyes and imagined Laura's laughter as she taunted him for lagging behind. She had always been faster and stronger than him.
"Derek?" A familiar voice yanked him from his memory.
He opened his eyes to see Stiles Stilinski walking towards him from the park's entrance. He looked older than the last time Derek had seen him. His hair was longer and his jaw more chiseled. He had stubble that shadowed his chin and cheeks. It was a good look.
"Dude, what are you doing here?" Stiles asked, coming in for a hug.
Derek reciprocated the hug awkwardly, still caught off guard by the sudden appearance of an old pack member.
"I uh, I'm in town for a bit," Derek answered lamely. He didn't know what he was doing here. Chasing old memories in search of comfort? That wasn't something he wanted to admit to.
"How long?" Stiles asked shifting a bag on his shoulder.
"I'm not sure. What are you doing here?" Derek had thought Stiles was in Virgina.
"I took a job here about six months ago, working with the local FBI."
"Oh. That's great." Derek forced a smile. Stiles seemed different. Happy maybe.
"Are you busy?" Stiles glanced around as if expecting to see someone else with Derek.
"No, I was just..." Derek gestured to the park.
Stiles raised a brow but didn't pry when Derek didn't elaborate.
Derek's chest warmed. He forgot how understanding Stiles was. He never had to explain himself to him.
"Well, I was thinking of grabbing something to eat. If you have the time...you should join me."
Derek smelled the caution in Stiles' scent. He smiled. "I'd like that."
Stiles beamed. He'd clearly been expecting a rejection.
-
As they walked, Stiles caught Derek up on his life. Derek listened intently being sure to ask questions to keep the conversation on Stiles.
It wasn't until they were seated at the table in the small Italian restaurant that Stiles gave Derek a pointed look.
"So are we going to continue to avoid talking about you or are you gonna tell me what you're doing in New York?"
Derek dropped his eyes to his lap where he had laid his napkin. He smoothed the creases of it before looking back up at Stiles.
"Is something wrong?" Stiles' tone dropped into worry as he leaned forward.
"No. I'm fine." Derek gave a small smile at Stiles' concern.
Stiles narrowed his eyes but didn't argue. Instead he waited for Derek to continue.
"I've been here about a month. Laura and I lived here for a while after the fire."
Stiles nodded. "Right. I remember."
"I umm, guess I'm just missing her." Derek dropped his gaze back to his napkin. He plucked at a loose thread as he continued. "I've been traveling a bit. Just came from visiting Cora actually."
"I figured you'd settle down somewhere, build a pack." Stiles frowned.
Derek's lips pulled into a line. "I haven't found anywhere that feels...right. Ya know?" his eyes came up to meet Stiles'.
Stiles shifted in his seat. "Yeah. It's hard to find where you belong when everyone you know is scattered to the wind."
Derek nodded. "I went back to Beacon Hills recently."
"Nothing is the same." Stiles shook his head.
"Yeah, it felt...strange," Derek agreed.
"Do you talk to anyone from Beacon Hills anymore?" Stiles asked.
"Not really, no. Cora is the only one. You?"
Stiles nodded sadly. "I talk to Scott on occasion. Lydia sends emails sometimes. I even got a postcard from Isaac once though that was three years ago now. Haven't heard from Cora or Malia in several years. I actually ran into Jackson and Ethan while on a case last year, but I didn't have time to catch up."
"I should have reached out." Derek smelled the disappointment on Stiles. It was familiar. It reminded him of the early days in Beacon Hills. Stiles usually smelled upset or disappointed or worried.
"I uh...thought about reaching out myself. I looked you up in the database but..." Stiles trailed off.
"Why didn't you?" Derek pressed. He wondered how he would have reacted to a random call from Stiles Stilinski. He imagined he'd have been pleased.
"I figured if you wanted to talk you'd reach out. I know how important your privacy is to you," Stiles shrugged, reaching for the water in front of him.
Derek's chest warmed once again.
"I would have liked to hear from you," Derek admitted.
"Why didn't you reach out?" Stiles dared ask, his eyes lifting to meet Derek's.
"I heard you got out. I had a lot of demons chasing me for a while. Once I finally shook them...I realized you were probably better off."
Stiles gave a derisive snort.
"It's good to see you though," Derek said with a sincerity in his tone that caused Stiles to look up with a frown. "It's nice to see someone...familiar."
"Yeah. It feels...comfortable." Stiles smiled.
Derek cleared his throat. "So you live nearby or..."
Stiles allowed the subject change. He knew Derek would say more when he wanted to. For now he'd allow him to avoid whatever he was trying to avoid.
-
After dinner, Stiles and Derek stepped back into the cold air. The sun had set well beneath the horizon, making the cold bite through their clothes, sending shivers down their spines.
"So are you staying nearby?" Stiles asked, pulling his coat tighter around him.
"Uh," Derek glanced to the Hilton Garden Inn. "Yeah. Not far."
Stiles blinked at Derek. "I'm sorry, are you staying in a hotel?"
Derek dropped his chin to his chest.
"Oh my god, Derek." Stiles threw his arms up. "You've been here a month."
Derek shrugged. He hadn't even planned to stay here that long but he didn't know where to go next and he hoped that if he stuck around long enough it would start to feel like home. It didn't.
"Come on, you're staying with me. I have a spare room you can use." Stiles turned to walk down the sidewalk but Derek didn't follow.
"What?" Stiles frowned when he noticed Derek wasn't behind him.
"I haven't seen you in years."
"So?"
"So we're not friends anymore."
Stiles' brows raised. "I'm offended."
"I just meant..." Derek trailed off with a sigh.
"If you're worried about me taking you back to my place, I bought you dinner first." Stiles gave a teasing grin.
Derek rolled his eyes but couldn't help the smile that pulled at his lips.
"Come on, you'll have your own bathroom. I won't hog the TV and you get the house to yourself while I'm at work," Stiles pressed.
Derek squinted at Stiles. "You're serious."
"Dude, yes. Now come on, it's freezing. We can swing through and get your stuff on the way." Stiles started down the sidewalk again. This time Derek followed suit.
-
Derek wasn't sure what he expected when he walked into Stiles' apartment, but it was not this. The small living room was decorated in warm browns and deep reds. The microfiber couch was a chocolate brown, draped in a dark red blanket. The walnut coffee table sat between the couch and the fake fireplace where the TV hung. On the walls were framed pictures of Stiles' FBI certifications and his dad in uniform. The room smelled strongly of Stiles and sandalwood.
"Make yourself comfortable." Stiles hung his keys on a hook by the door before laying his bag on a small table below them.
"It's nice." Derek's eyed trailed to the small kitchen where a bar with two stools separated the living room from the stove. On it sat a bowl with two overripe bananas and a single apple. The fridge held pictures of Scott and Stiles from years ago along with a wedding invitation for a couple Derek didn't know. The sink was void of dirty dishes minus a single solo cup.
"This is the bathroom," Stiles gestured to a door just inside the hall. "And this is your room." He pointed to a spacious room with a queen size bed in the middle. It was decorated in deep blues with baseball pictures on the wall.
Derek thought he recognized a couple of the posters from Stiles' room back in Beacon Hills.
"My room is there." Stiles pointed to the other end of the short hallway.
"You're sure you don't mind?" Derek asked.
"Stay as long as you like." Stiles held his arms out. "Mi casa es tu casa."
Derek couldn't help the frown that tugged on his brows. He didn't even know what home felt like anymore.
"So yeah, the bed is good to go cause I never have company. Uh...there are towels in the bathroom closet. I don't have any soap or shampoo but I can get mine if you-"
"I stole the hotel toiletries," Derek interrupted.
Stiles blinked at Derek. "I'm sorry, what?"
"I took the shampoo and soap from the hotel." Derek held up his duffel bag.
"I was already concerned by the severe lack of luggage but now you're telling me you've just been using hotel soap?"
"What's wrong with that?" Derek frowned.
"Nothing. I just...you've been in town for a month."
Derek shrugged.
Stiles cocked his head in a way that Derek remembered well. It was something he did when he was putting together clues to solve a case. "Okay, well I'll let you settle in." He took a step back as if to show he was giving Derek space.
"Thank you, Stiles," Derek said, a sincerity to his tone that Stiles didn't hear often.
"Course." Stiles smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes.
Derek watched him close himself in his room, leaving Derek standing in the hall.
-
Derek woke late the next morning. He'd slept better than he had in weeks. His muscles were less sore than usual. He padded into Stiles kitchen in his pajama pants to see the apartment empty. Laid on the counter was a note from Stiles.
'Had to be at work early. Should be back by five. Hope you slept well. Make yourself at home.'
Derek smiled down at the note before opening the fridge. His smile grew at the sight of a pack of Pepsi, a jar of pickles and an old box of cold pizza. He should have guessed Stiles' fridge wouldn't be stocked. He shook his head before heading back to his room. If Stiles was going to allow him to stay, the least he could do was buy groceries.
Two hours later Derek had hauled all the groceries up to Stiles' apartment, covering his kitchen counter in jars of pasta sauce and boxes of noodles. Bags of rice and chicken stock. Anything he thought Stiles might need or use.
He put all the food away in what seemed like the correct places before checking the time. Stiles wouldn't be home for a few more hours.
The whirring in Derek's chest made him close his eyes. He recalled what he would do when he was bored at home while Laura was at work. Cook.
"Well I did just go shopping," he muttered to himself.
He pulled out a couple pots and pans that he'd come across while searching through Stiles' cabinets. They looked almost brand new.
-
Stiles stepped out of the elevator and was hit with a smell so good his stomach rumbled. He realized he was starving. He'd skipped lunch in favor of trying to solve his latest problem. He would have to see if Derek wanted to grab dinner with him because he was certain he didn't have anything to make.
He opened the door, only to be hit in the face with the smell from the hallway. Derek was in his kitchen with a towel tossed over his shoulder and a spread of several different dishes laid out in front of him.
"Just in time. Hungry?" Derek asked, pulling the towel from his shoulder and wringing it between his hands.
Stiles stood stunned. "What—"
"You didn't really have anything so I went to the store and then I was feeling...well I thought maybe you wouldn't mind." Derek gestured to the dinner he'd made.
"Wow. This is...Derek...I don't know what to say. Thank you."
"I didn't know what you liked so I made a few different things. This is Cheese stuffed mushrooms. This is butternut squash gnocchi with sage brown sugar. This is pork tenderloins with caramelized pears in a pear brandy cream sauce. And these are sautéed baby root vegetables." Derek pointed to each dish.
"Dude." Stiles hung his keys and dropped his bag. "One, what did I do to deserve this? And two, when did you learn to cook like this?"
Derek pulled out two plates. "My mom taught me and Laura. I used to cook for Laura when she was at work. It helped keep my mind busy. And as far as deserving it..." he spooned the different dishes onto one of the plates before setting it in front of Stiles. "You gave me a place to stay."
Stiles' stomach rumbled once again.
"Sounds like you're hungry," Derek held back a smile.
"Dude, I could kiss you, this is amazing," Stiles said around a bite of mushroom.
Derek's head dipped bashfully. "Glad you like it." He reached for a bag on the counter and pulled two bottles out.
"You'd be proud, I bought shampoo." he held up one of the bottles that was indeed labeled 'Shampoo'.
Stiles laughed, a pleased look on his face.
Through dinner Derek listened to Stiles' day, happy to have company. He missed Stiles' ramblings and fun facts. It took him back to long days researching at the loft.
"So I would ask how your day was but..." Stiles gestured to the kitchen. "I think I know."
"I hope you don't mind." Derek set his fork on his now empty plate.
"Are you kidding? If I had known you could cook, I would have hunted your ass down way earlier." Stiles took his and Derek's plate to the sink.
Derek's chest warmed at Stiles' words. He liked that Stiles enjoyed his cooking. He hadn't cooked for anyone since Laura. It felt good.
After dinner, Stiles worked on his case so Derek busied himself with a Sudoku book he'd bought from the store earlier.
Stiles, who was flipping through the pages of his file, paused and looked over at Derek who was sitting cross legged on the end of the couch. He wore a plain white tank top and grey sweatpants. The sudoku book was folded in his left hand. It was the most domestic he'd ever seen Derek. His stomach fluttered. It was strange having Derek in his space but he enjoyed it. It felt right.
"You're staring," Derek said, not looking up from his book.
"I was just think how odd this is, having you here."
Derek looked up, his shoulders straightening.
"But also it's so...natural. Almost like...you belong? I dunno, sorry if that's weird." Stiles turned back to his file.
"It's not weird. I know what you mean. It's familiar but also...not." Derek relaxed his shoulders. The scent on Stiles was contentment. He had worried he'd been too quick to fall into the comfort of Stiles' house. But something about being in Stiles' space was...relaxing.
-
Stiles walked into his apartment to the smell of garlic and onions cooking. "Honey I'm home," he called playfully.
Derek turned around, the towel tossed over his shoulder like it so often was. "Hey, you're home early."
"It smells amazing." Stiles peered over Derek's shoulder where he was sautéing garlic and onions in a pan of oil.
"It won't be ready for another thirty minutes," Derek apologized.
"Dude, you don't have to have it ready when I get home." Stiles laughed shaking his head.
"I like to though." Derek shrugged, pushing the vegetables across the pan with his wooden spoon.
"Well I appreciate it." Stiles stepped back and grabbed a pepper from the cutting board. "Can't wait to see what you're gonna create tonight, Gordon Ramsey."
Derek chuckled, shaking his head.
"Gonna go shower."
Derek turned to watch Stiles retreat into the apartment. It had been almost two weeks since Derek had started staying with Stiles. He'd settled in quickly and found that he wasn't waiting for his next move.
He glanced around. His favorite mug had a place on Stiles' counter next to the coffee maker. His books had made a home on the new bookcase Stiles bought. A second hook had been hung next to Stiles' keys for his own. His clothes were folded next to Stiles' on the dryer. His herb plants lined the balcony.
Their lives had intertwined so easily. Derek found he enjoyed gardening and cooking while Stiles was at work. On weekends the two would get coffee and take walks through central park.
Derek placed a hand on his chest. The whirring force of the hurricane that had taken up residency under his skin had simmered. Being here with Stiles was the first time that feeling had gone away. He wondered at what point it had started to dissipate. Had it been when Stiles gave Derek a spare key? Had it been when Stiles started leaving notes regularly for him in the morning? Had it been when Stiles asked Derek's opinion on the new couch cushions he bought?
Derek considered what it was about Stiles' space that made him so comfortable as he finished dinner. By the time Stiles had finished showering and joined him in the kitchen he'd decided that it was just Stiles. He'd always been comfortable around him and felt safe. Stiles had even at one point been his anchor.
Suddenly Derek whipped around to face Stiles who was taking his seat at the counter.
"What's wrong?" Stiles frowned at Derek's panicked expression.
Derek didn't know how he hadn't realized it sooner. Stiles was his anchor. He'd been searching for something to ground him for years. And the entire time it was Stiles.
"Derek?" Stiles slid off the chair and reached for Derek's forearm.
Derek closed his eyes as Stiles' soothing touch washed over him. A warmth spread through him.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Stiles squeezed Derek's arm gently.
Derek opened his eyes, collecting himself. "Nothing. I just forgot an ingredient for dinner. But it's fine." He turned away from Stiles.
He tried to push down the panic but now that he realized that Stiles was what had been missing from his life he didn't know how he could leave. He knew it was only a matter of time before Stiles wanted Derek to move out. But Derek didn't want to leave. Stiles felt like home, something he'd been searching for for a long time.
"You sure?" Stiles pressed, his eyes narrowed.
"Yeah. Come on, let's eat." Derek put on a soft smile and made Stiles' plate.
Stiles reclaimed his seat.
Derek was thankful Stiles didn't pry. He guessed though by the frown on his face that he didn't believe Derek.
Stiles told Derek about his day over dinner like he did every night. Derek did his best to pay attention but all he could think about was how much he'd miss this.
"Dinner was amazing as usual." Stiles took his and Derek's plates to the sink.
"I'm thinking of getting my own place," Derek blurted. He'd seen a neighbor down the hall moving out the day before. Perhaps if he could stay close to Stiles he would remain grounded.
The plates slipped from Stiles' grip and clattered loudly in the sink. He cleared his throat.
"Oh?" Stiles turned on the water.
"An apartment down the hall opened up." Derek swallowed.
Stiles took in a shaky breath. He knew this day would come, he'd just hoped it wouldn't be so soon. "Okay." He fought to keep his tone even.
Derek tried to decipher the different scents on Stiles. Disappointment. Anger. Understanding.
"I've taken up enough of your space and—"
Stiles cut the water off and turned to face Derek, causing him to cut his sentence short.
"You're not taking up my space Derek. This is your space too." Stiles' tone was sharper than he'd intended.
Derek didn't respond.
Stiles wiped his hands on a towel and sighed. "If that's really what you want then okay, but please don't feel like you're doing me any favors by moving out."
Derek's brows furrowed. Did Stiles really want him to stay?
"Look, I get it; you don't stay in one place long. But don't move into the apartment down the hall for a few months if you're just planning on leaving again. Stay here. When you're ready to move on, then...okay. But it's stupid to get another apartment temporarily," Stiles continued.
"I didn't mean to upset you." Derek couldn't ignore the irritation in Stiles' scent.
"You didn't."
Derek noted the lack of skips in Stiles' heartbeat. He wasn't lying.
"Then what did?"
Stiles looked at Derek and sighed. "I did."
Derek's frown deepened.
"I got comfortable having you here. I knew you wouldn't stay and yet I still..." Stiles trailed off. "It doesn't matter."
"It matters to me." Derek took a step towards Stiles.
"Having you here has been..." Stiles licked at his licks. "Honestly, it's been incredible."
Derek's chest warmed at Stiles' words.
"It feels like you belong here and I don't know why. I love having you here. I love your coffee cup next to mine. I love your books on my shelf. I love your sudoku puzzles. I love your herb plants on my balcony. I love watching the game with you. I love getting coffee and watching the pigeons on our walks. I love—" Stiles cut himself off.
Derek took another step towards Stiles. "I love those things too. But what happens when you tire of my things in your space? Or when you..." he swallowed. "Meet someone."
Stiles scoffed. "Yeah."
"I'm serious, Stiles."
"What are you running from?" Stiles snapped, catching Derek off guard.
"What?"
"You've been all over the place. You never stay in one place long. You were staying in a hotel." Stiles threw his arms up.
"I'm not running from anything."
"Then what are you looking for?"
Derek's lips pulled into a tight line.
Stiles would normally back off, sensing Derek didn't want to talk about it, but this time he pushed.
"You've been searching for something. What is it?"
"Home." Derek said, barely above a whisper.
Stiles wasn't sure what he'd been expecting Derek to say but it wasn't that.
"Oh. Well...I don't want to stop you from finding that." He spoke just as quietly.
"Stiles." Derek took a step forward.
Stiles took a step back, bumping into the counter behind him.
"I'm gonna be honest with you because you deserve to know." Derek pulled in a slow breath. "I found my home. Here with you."
Stiles' mouth fell open.
"I realized it earlier and...it scared me."
Stiles didn't dare move or speak.
"You're my anchor. Have been for years. I just never realized that this torrent that I've been trying to quell wasn't a storm at all. It was a hole."
Stiles swallowed. This had to be a dream.
"This." Derek gestured around the apartment. "You. It feels like home."
"Then why are you trying to leave?" Stiles dared ask. His voice a whisper.
"Because I'm afraid if I don't leave now, I won't be able to later."
"Then don't ever leave."
Derek frowned.
"I didn't realize what was missing in my life until you showed up. When you're here I feel...better."
Derek's ears pricked for any hint of a lie.
"When you left all those years ago, you took a piece of me with you. Now that you're back...I don't want you to go."
"Really?" Derek searched Stiles face for any doubt, listened for any hesitation.
"Derek." Stiles stepped forward and the smell of worry, and anxiety singed Derek's nose. "I don't want your shampoo bottles to be in the spare bathroom. I want them to be in mine."
Derek's lips pulled into a fond smile before surging forward. His fingers clutched at the sides of Stiles' face as their lips connected gently.
Stiles' hands gripped at the t-shirt Derek wore, holding him close. Dizziness swept over him. This wasn't real. There was no way Derek Hale was kissing him.
Derek pulled back, keeping their foreheads together.
"Does this mean you'll stay?" Stiles asked between them, his hands still gripping at Derek's shirt.
"As long as you'll have me." Derek closed his eyes relishing in the comfort and warmth of Stiles' presence.
Derek's shampoo fit perfectly on the shelf next to Stiles', much like the rest of his things did in Stiles' apartment.
Consider buying me a coffee, I would really appreciate it!
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So maybe the meeting with Meenu's teacher hadn't been handled in the best way. Chloe was ready to accept that. A little.
Maybe the notes like "speaks out of turn" and "disturbs classmates" had touched a nerve. So she's an extrovert--admirable actually--I was so quiet and miserable at that age did not elicit a positive response from Mrs Macquarie. "Miss Fraz--Miss Frazer. If you will let me finish--" and what's this about 'she stares out the window too much'? I did that? What're windows for? "Miss Frazer if you will take the time to read the rest of the note, the problem is Meenu demonstrates limited engagement in subjects she is not interested in."
Bursting out laughing in her seat at this certainly hadn't endeared Chloe to the educator.
The bespectacled woman took in a sharp breath and pinched between her eyes. "You mentioned not having documentation of any of her previous education."
"In her circumstanc--"
"I bring this up only because attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is often diagnosed under the age of five."
"Bugger!" Chloe's temper had flipped. She shot to her feet from the cheap sweat-smelling chair. "She's a kid! They get bored at school!"
"Charming," the woman said icily. "Meenu's 'boredom' affects her classmates. She threw a sausage roll at a boy in her class."
"He asked for it."
"Excuse me?"
"Really," Chloe said. "He literally asked for it. He said was hungry and she chucked him a snack and he caught it."
"It was still not appropriate behaviour during lecture. Do you happen to throw things at each other at home?"
Chloe couldn't answer. Yes, she was forgetting her keys and having the ten-year-old toss them out a window to her in the parking lot multiple times a week. Yes, remotes, bananas, laundry, sunnies were often airborne in their household. Meenu had thrown a 12-pack of loo roll into her hands from eight supermarket aisles away.
"She grew up in a shop in a loud, crowded market," Chloe muttered.
"And what does this--"
"Sitting in one quiet and boring place for hours just doesn't work for every kid. She's doing better than I ever did. It's an adjustment for her."
Meenu wasn't at the top of her class, okay. But she excelled in some of the things that Chloe thought mattered most. And she was the youngest on the debate team despite still having a low reading level for her age.
"I am recommending an ADHD evaluation for Meenu," Mrs Macquarie said, like she hadn't heard her. "Regardless of your excuses, both you and her would benefit from taking this more seriously."
"Right," Chloe snapped as the snitch papers were scooped off the desk. "What's another drug to a kid?"
"It's a well-documented treatment that can change a child's future for the better," Mrs Macquarie had stood up and walked out from behind the desk and now waited by the door. "If it comes to that. There are treatment options beyond 'another drug'."
"Yeah?" Chloe said as she turned on a Chelsea boot heel. "You'd have stuffed me with pills thirty years ago with the way I wasn't paying attention, mate."
"And you may well have benefited, Miss Frazer. Good day."
Now, sitting in the car looking into the middle distance (meaning a Macca's and a concerningly phallic owl statue) Chloe wanted to bite something harder than her lip.
She shouldn't have said all that, yes.
But what was she supposed to say?
Her mum had never attended anything like this on her behalf. Leah Frazer could barely walk in a straight line most of Chloe's childhood after losing Mahit, how would she keep an eye on her daughter's grades or lack thereof? Would she even have cared? Had she?
"You were stuffing yourself with pills," Chloe muttered into the steering wheel. "Maybe you'd have liked them drugging me too. Give us something in common."
No, that wasn't a spiral she needed to go down now.
This was about the childhood Meenu was currently experiencing. There was only one thing to do right now.
Chloe pulled her phone out and hit Nadine's name in the frequent called list. The ex-Shoreline leader hardly got a single syllable of the word "Hello" out before being subjected to ten minutes of play-by-play color commentary of the parent teacher conference.
"...can you believe that, china?!"
Chloe only noticed the fact there was dead silence on the line moments after, and checked the powersave-darkened screen sheepishly to make sure Nadine hadn't just hung up on her.
"Nadine? Er. How was your week? How was the--"
"Boring," Nadine said flatly.
"Which--"
"Both."
"But you were looking forward to--"
"I went at the wrong time of year."
"Well," Chloe said, "you can hardly blame Iceland for your poor ability to research--"
"Say that again," Nadine said with a voice like a knife. "My researching ability is unparalleled."
"You thought it was winter at the top of the globe too," a smile was creeping onto Chloe's face. "Got a faceful of sunlight the whole time, did you. Rookie mistake."
"I haven't had a vacation before."
The words hung in the air so solemnly that Chloe couldn't even quip anything back.
Nadine had wanted some time to process losing Shoreline and how much of her identity and personal power it held for her. A quiet trip alone sounded perfect.
But had she actually spent the whole time tossing and turning, jet lagged to hell, circadian rhythm haywire, thinking about how she'd failed and how different her life was now?
"China...you'll get to see it next time. You'll have a clearer head to enjoy it, too."
She heard the other woman sigh. Then: "Do you want me to be honest? I'm with her teacher."
"Oh, shut the fuck up, whore."
"Whore yourself," Nadine fired back.
"Double whore."
"What did you expect? Her teacher just wants her to be a student."
Chloe didn't have an answer.
Nadine said, an edge creeping into her voice again, "I do, too. You let her play Dead by Daylight at age ten--"
"I knew you would bring that up!" Chloe quiet-shouted. "She's been through serious shit, that game's not gonna--"
"--my parents had me doing extra homework on top of my homework from school--
"--and you still go to Iceland on a month there's no Northern Lights--"
"--you can tell her you'll love her no matter what her grades are, but that doesn't mean you don't care about her grades," Nadine said. "It's the opposite."
Chloe swallowed. The shadow of a truck in the distance flickered over the dashboard. It reminded her how bright the sunset was getting, and she put down the visor.
"I do care," Chloe mumbled, looking down at the keys she was fidgeting with. And then, quietly, "she says reading's really hard for her."
"You didn't tell the teacher that," Nadine sounded accusatory.
"Because she wouldn't have fucking believed me," Chloe bit into her lip. "The asshole didn't listen, china. Meenu says when she's staring at the book and trying really hard and listening to everyone else turning their pages faster it feels like she's the stupidest person on earth. And when they make her stay later during break to finish it. I remember them doing that to me. Fat lot of good it did, too."
Nadine said, softly, "And you reminded her that she's above-average in maths?"
Of course Meenu was above-average in maths. Any manipulative shopkeeper latchkey kid worth their salt would be. Meenu had the eerie power of guessing the sum of a coin purse's contents by weight.
"Not the word problems."
Nadine snorted. "You're lying. They don't still do those."
"I wish. Sorry for taking up so much of your time, love. Bet you've got better people to get called names by."
As she said it, Chloe looked at the screen again, and was thrown for a loop that it had been almost an hour.
"Stop letting her watch TV so much," Nadine said.
As if on cue, Chloe unlocked her flat to:
-a child cross-legged on the rug in front of the television
-an AusPol channel blaring, and
-popcorn everywhere, including an almost-empty bag in Meenu's lap. As if they didn't own bowls.
"Meenu."
The girl didn't show any sign of having heard her. Maybe watching Aussie politicians scream at one another was Meenu's homework for the debate club, but she loved it. Chloe bit her lip, hands on her hips, squeezed her eyes shut, and made a 180-degree turn.
The fridge, a vault of solace, opened too easily to reveal a treasure trove of her beloved ice-cold Lager flanked by the yogurt and pasta sauce.
Just one. Just one to make a difficult conversation easier.
Chloe let the fridge close and picked the bottle opener magnet off the door, or was about to. But it had been propping up their calendar. It had been a gift from a Chinese buffet nearby, each month a different painting, this one of a lake with shadows of distant birds and mountains in the background that reminded Chloe of the Western Ghats. Today's date was circled in red marker with meeting with Mrs Macquarie, DON'T BE LATE in her handwriting.
But she had been late.
She'd walked into that room fifteen minutes late blaming the traffic and still had the nerve to speak like that to Meenu's teacher.
How would that reflect on Meenu?
No wonder Nadine had sided with the opponent.
"Meenu!" Chloe said, louder.
Thus summoned, the girl shook herself, pushed off the floor, and waddled over, shoveling the remaining kernels into her mouth like a zombie.
"Turn the TV off," Chloe said tersely.
Meenu's eyes were suddenly sharply awake. She screwed her face up.
"Macquarie is an idiot," she said.
"This isn't about her."
"Yes it is," Meenu's fists were clenched. Chloe could see her little jaw tightening. "Macquarie's out to get me. She hates my accent."
"You don't have an accent, love--"
"Everyone has an accent."
"Look," Chloe folded her arms, "Miss Youngest-In-The-Debate-Club, there's a time and a place."
"She grabbed my shirt and said I smell bad."
"Meenu, you are lying."
Like a little mirror, Meenu folded her arms. "Why would I lie about that?"
"Because they didn't even do that to me," Chloe said, crouching down to her level. She pushed Meenu's flyaway strands behind her ears. "Thirty years ago. If they really think you're dirty, they don't touch you except to beat you."
"Well," Meenu said, "She thinks I smell bad. She makes that face whenever she looks at me."
"And you should have said that. Don't lie to me."
If Nadine was here. Oh, if Nadine was here. She would have either been laughing her gorgeous butt off or fuming.
Chloe straightened up. "She got mad that you talk a lot in her class and she thinks you aren't trying hard enough. Look. Meenu. Honey...she doesn't see what's going on in your head. She thinks you're just not paying attention. Meenu. Meenu..."
As she'd been talking, disbelief, embarrassment, disgust crossed over Meenu's features like shadows on a wall. She almost immediately covered them with a mask of defiance, but it was too late. Chloe saw a tear run from the corner of her right eye as she blinked, a shiny line on her cheek.
It reminded her too much of Nadine. Maybe every little girl destined to be a leader had the same hurt buried.
"Macquarie's an idiot," Meenu repeated.
"Here's what we're gonna do," Chloe said. "I don't want to meet with her again. At least not about this. You've got three hours after you get home, no TV--"
"Three hours?!"
"--I'll check up on you three times and you gotta have everything done by six. if you want to watch anything. Or play any games. Got it?"
"I'm going to talk at class five times more," Meenu said angrily. "I'm going to start a fire."
"Oh, aren't you adorable. I tried to burn the place down when I was your age, too," Chloe finally snapped the top off the slightly-less-cold beer and returned the tool to the calendar. "They make schools hard to light up 'coz of the bushfires here."
She'd had a lightbulb moment. Meenu didn't have to feel rushed with her reading if she read ahead at home. Which...if what she told Chloe had some truth to it, Macquarie would claim her better work away from class was due to Chloe's help.
And three hours of reading at home was still a form of torture for Meenu, but at least it came with the company of her parrot and whatever Kpop band she was into this week, right?
#chloe frazer#meenu#uncharted#the lost legacy#adoptivemom!Chloe#kidfic#fanfic#Meenu does eventually fall in love with reading don't worry!#chlodine#but in the background tbh#nadine ross#there is an overabundance of places bearing the name Macquarie in Australia and it's dumb#Meenu the debate club champion tbh#public speaking would come naturally to her#Chloe: I'm not good at the people thing#Meenu: I am *only* good at the people thing
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Rumour Has It (Pedri x artist! protagonist)
part 2!
view part 1 here!
my requests are open
summary: Being dragged along to the studio of Sira's favourite artist, Pedri never thought he would find himself falling in love with this place or even the owner... He quickly found himself looking forward to hearing about the process of the commission his friend placed, dropping by after practice to pick up Ferran's commission and place his own, just to get another reason to see Ana again...
face claim: artbylavra on instagram
ferrantorres started following ana_hernandez
pedri started following ana_hernandez
A few weeks have passed since Ferran has placed his commission...
»Dios mío, I missed you so much!« said Ana and embraced her friend with a wide grin on her lips. It’s been a bit more than a week since her encounter with the two football players, when Ana found herself at the airport, picking up her bestfriend. »It's definitely been too long!«
»If I remember correctly it was you who refused to come to Spain because of your busy exam season.« Ana grinned amused. »It's what it takes to become a doctor I guess.« Ella shrugged, grabbing her suitcase and backpack so they could head for the exit of the airport.
Ella and Ana met when they were still in highschool, 10th grade when they took part in an exchange programme organised by the German school in Barcelona. The DSB, short for 'Deutsche Schule Barcelona, has been partnering with a school in Dortmund for decades and thus made exchanges possible.
Ana still remembers how she arrived in Dortmund, it was January, grey overcast. It was a cold and rainy day when she and the other Spanish students of the German school arrived at the airport where they were picked up by their host families. Ana had been in contact with Ella before, texting so that they could get to know each other beforehand. They hit off, being on the same wavelength immediately. The month Ana spent in Germany was arguably one of the best months she ever had. Ella's family soon became her second family, her parents taking care of her as if she was their own daughter.
Spending the afternoons after school in random cafés, taking the train to Bochum to go shopping in the 'Ruhrpark' or going partying at the weekends. The highlight, despite not being into football, was definitely watching the 'Ruhrpott Derby' Borussia Dortmund against Schalke in the Signal Iduna Park Ana still remembers how Ella couldn’t believe how Ana wasn’t into football.
»If I were you and living in the city of one of the best football clubs in the world, the club Messi plays for, I would be the biggest fan on earth.« – »You already are the biggest football fan on earth, just look at your wardrobe. You have literally more jerseys of Barça than I’ll ever have. You quite literally own the fanshops of both Barça and Dortmund. If you ask me, you’ve got us both covered. I don’t need to be a fan anymore.« – »I’ll still turn you into a football fan.« – »Good luck with that, it might take you a few years.«
A few months later, after the summer holidays, the German students finally came over to Barcelona. Ella immediately fell in love with the city and all the hidden spots Ana showed her during her stay. They would often spend the afternoons exploring the secluded tiny alleys of Barcelona's old town, meeting up with friends or spending the endless hot summer nights at the beach. Ana knew how much of a football fan Ella was, being confronted with her football obsession everyday when she was in Dortmund, the city where arguably everyone was a fan and living for football. Therefore she wanted to return the favour, her family somehow managing to get tickets for the most prestigious match of the league. The Classico.
In these two months that the two of them spent together, they became best friends. The contact never broke off, they messaged each other daily or sent each other long voice messages that soon became a kind of podcast and took turns in visiting each other in the respective country during the holidays. After they graduated from high school, Ella came to Spain for a few months, first spending some time in Barcelona before finally pursuing their road trip plans until Ella had to go back to Germany to start her medical studies.
»You know, I still can't understand why you're putting yourself through all that unnecessary stress for becoming a doctor..« said Ana when they reached her car. »Sometimes I question my decision as well, but« – »There's no buts, your decision is indeed questionable!« – »I have some great news though!« – »You're quitting?!« Ella rolled her eyes as she fastened the seatbelt and Ana started the engine. »No of course not you idiot, why would I quit after I've spent all of my school years working so hard to get good enough of a degree to study anything medicine related.« – »Could still have been possible, if I were you, I wouldn't like to be burnt out by the end of my twenties.« Ana grinned and drove off the airport parking lot. »If you'd let me finish for once, then you'd know that you have the next four to five months to spend time with me..« – »Wait, I think I got lost in translation. What did you just say? Or more like why?« – »Ever heard of 'Erasmus'« – »Yeah.« – »I got accepted and..« – »No way! And you're just telling me now??« Ana shook her head, a grin still finding its way on her lips. »Felt like it'd be a nice surprise... I have all the paperwork with me, I just need to drop them off this week and sign some papers for my flat and then I can start moving.« – »I still can't believe how you didn't tell me. Especially since you normally cannot shut up about anything.« Ana playfully rolled her eyes and nudged Ella’s shoulder when they came to a halt at a red traffic light.
➵ ➵ ➵
»How’s the boyfriend doing?« asked Ella, while she settled in her friend’s apartment, taking in the beautiful view of the colourful houses and roofs. It was obvious that Ana was an artist, even her apartment looked like a little art studio. Paintings were hung on walls, or were standing against walls. Sketches scattered across the dining table, pencils spread out on a piece of paper. The hallway was crammed with packages of new paint and canvases, waiting to be taken to the studio. »Ugh, don’t ask, he’s a pain in the ass.« Ana mumbled, remembering their latest argument about the most unnecessary thing ever. »The usual, men are in general annoying.« Ella sighed, spreading her limbs out on the sofa. »But what would I do to have a hot Spanish boyfriend as well. Felipe and you are literally perfect, just look at you both.« – »I mean, you technically have the next 5 months to try. Yet you’re also the one who says she doesn’t have the time to commit to a relationship.« Ana grinned amusedly. »Studip medical studies!« – »My words, yet you never want to hear them.« Ana propped herself next to Ella on the sofa. »Oh shut it, not everyone can be as talented as you and make that much money during their studies.« – »I know, it sucks to not be me.« she grinned, putting her hair in a low ponytail.
»Just shut it, or I’m going to ruin your day by telling you what I’ve planned for us this evening!« »Oh good god. I can see where this is going.« Ana buried her face in one of the pillows on her sofa, she already suspected what was about to happen to her. »Don’t be like that, it’s not even as bad as you always say it is. And besides, I need to make good use of my time here. And you’ll just have to go along with it today.« Ana pressed herself deeper into the pillow and mumbled something unintelligible. »You’re lucky I like you so much…« – »I know, and I’m going to take full advantage of that today.« Ella grinned contentedly as Ana lifted her head and propped herself up on her forearms.
Ella had already found what she was looking for and was now waving two blue and red cards in the air. A wide grin spread across her lips as she watched her friend's reaction. Ana stared at her with an indefinable look, her eyes alternating between Ella's grin and the blue and red cards. Something in her gaze changed, and Ella knew that Ana would like to snatch the cards out of her hand and destroy them.
Over the years, Ella still hadn't managed to convince Ana of her passion for football. Even though she was so committed to it and even offered to explain everything to her. But Ana more or less refused every time. The games she was forced to watch because Ella dragged her to the stadium almost every time she was in Barcelona, or because her sister insisted that Ana watched the group games in Seville, had stressed her out so much that she didn't even feel the urge to get involved with football one more time. But Ella didn't give up, hoping that Barcelona, who were slowly returning to their old form and were convincing with their new young stars, could enchant Ana and finally convince her of the beauty of football.
»I hate you.« – »You love me.« Ana gave up and buried her face in the pillow again. »I should’ve known better and gotten prepared as soon as you said you were going to visit me during your semester break. It was so predictable that this was going to happen.« – »What do you expect me to do? Come to Barcelona without seeing them play for the first time since they’ve been taken over by Xavi and are getting great again?« Ella took another pillow and threw it at Ana, who just just groaned in despair. »I expected you to spend time with me, not to drag me somewhere to watch 22 men kick a ball for 90 minutes. I would much rather go out and have a fancy dinner somewhere.« – »We can still do that some other day.« Ana huffed, pushing herself up again. She couldn't wrap her head around how someone could be that obsessed with football. Ana also wasn’t oblivious to the fact that Barcelona has been underperforming for the past couple of seasons, having to deal with Ella’s outbursts after every important match they lost. Such as the 5 Classicos they lost in a row. Yet Ana knew that she had to accept her fate and do her friend the favour of joining her to watch that football match.
That’s how Ana ended up in the Camp Nou hours later. She sank deeper into the soft material of her coat keeping an eye on Ella who was, despite not being there for the first time, seemingly amazed by the astonishing atmosphere. »They better not play like shit, or else this was the last time I'll accompany you.« Ana grumbled and crossed her arms in front of her upper body. Ella just shook her head, knowing damn well that the chances of them playing yet another shitty match were pretty high. »It’s not even that bad..« – »Oh really, must have all been a dream then when you complained about their shitty form for hours over voice messages.« – »Things can change, you know. With the new generation coming through, my hopes are getting up again. They’ve brought up some young talents from ‘La Masia’. It’s looking very promising, the younger players are fun to watch.« Ella gushed, pulling Ana up from her seat as the first notes of the anthem sounded from the speakers. »I actually know about that.« – »Woah, how? – »I have my ways..« Ana smirked, listening to over 80 thousand people sing the anthem.
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replies!
pedri
I thought you weren't a fan and only watching when it's the Euros or World Cup?
ana_hernandez
Don't get your hopes up too high, I was dragged, or more like forced, along by a friend
pedri
You should feel honoured that she picked you to come a long to see the best club in the world play in the most beautiful stadium ever!
ana_hernandez
I'm her only friend in Barcelona...
You think really highly of yourself, is it a common trait when being a professional football player?
pedri
It's common knowledge that the Camp Nou is the most beautiful stadium in the world... Did you enjoy it?
ana_hernandez
I think so...
Well I actually expected you to play like shit after Ella, my friend, told me about how shitty Barcelona has been the past couple of seasons
pedri
Thanks😦
ana_hernandez
Jokes aside, I wouldn't have thought that players as young as you and that friend of yours could be so gallant on the pitch...
I'm impressed
pedri
Glad to hear that! Are you planning to see another match?
ana_hernandez
Ella already told me she's going to drag me to another one...
pedri
Make sure to wear my jersey then
ana_hernandez
In your dreams
Ella has tried to make me wear jerseys a million times, has never worked out, will never work out
pedri
Challenge accepted.
Are you by any chance in the studio tomorrow?
ana_hernandez
I am, but not until late in the afternoon..
Why?
pedri
Just wondering...
#pedri fluff#pedri gonzalez x reader#pedri blurb#pedri x reader#pedri imagine#pedri fanfic#pedri gonzález blurb#football fluff#football player x reader#footballer imagine#lcstinhistcry#pedri gonzalez fluff
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The Truth Untold | ksj
Pairing: bestfriend!Seokjin x singlemother!reader, singledad!btsmember x female!reader, f2l!au
Word Count: 22,340
Genre: fluff/smut/angst
Warning(s): profanity, mention of divorce, mega angst, mention of child birth, smut, unprotected sex, oral (m + f receiving), shower sex woop woop, nipple play, morning sex, dirty talk, slight fem!dom, it took me three years to write this story and I am so thankful that it is finally finished Rated: 18+
Summary: When a job opportunity arises in the hometown you left seven years ago, you return with the gift that was never made known to the one person who hasn't left your mind. Despite the love interest tugging on your heartstrings, you wonder where he may be; tired of suppressing the guilt for hiding the biggest secret you have ever withheld. Now, after all this time, the truth is approaching much sooner than you anticipate, and the untold story of why you left will soon be revealed.
Co-author: @yoonoclock (suhflix) is the first human whose writing I fell in love with and her talent never ceases to amaze me! This collab right here is an absolute dream come true and this story can finally be told after years of the idea living rent free within my brain. I love you so much my Monnie! Seriously thank you so much for cowriting this piece with me.
Credits to: @dee-ehn for making such a beautiful cover, it truly embodies the story. Thank you so frickin frackin much!
Greenery zips by, your hands guide the steering wheel in concentration nearing the road to your new home; one that is bringing you back to the town you left years ago, and even now, you never imagined you'd ever return. A brand-new office job opportunity discovered online, you immediately applied, accepting the position that happened to be in your hometown; and, with the experience you've already had with a desk job, you were at the top of the list.
In the passenger seat sits your daughter, Mae, cuddled against the door, eyes glued shut in sleep while classical music serenades through the speakers at low volume. Nostalgia is a funny one- sneaking up on you in times you desperately try to avoid it. But, finally caving, you convince yourself this is all a good idea; with your sister, Monnie, and her husband being closer, at least you have someone you can rely on, the same as she can rely on you.
A moving company has already moved the heavy stuff into your home. Rooms are finished. You started unpacking Mae's room first, so she would have everything she needed available. And today, you're coming home from 'Back to School' shopping, purchasing your daughter a new backpack as well as supplies with the infamous request of colored pencils. With summer ending, you've already transferred Mae's records to the new school she will be attending; starting second grade, her seventh birthday passed, you're nervous for the new adventure ahead, and all you hope with every fiber of your being is that you made the right decision.
“I hope,” you think repeatedly as you look back at Mae every few minutes. She’s okay, therefore, so should everything else… right?
Receiving an email once you arrive home, you read over it to see an announcement for an open house- a way for students to see their classroom and meet their teacher. Though you're excited about the news, your heart falls in disappointment all the same, because of course, the date of the open house is the same day you're beginning your new job. With your luck, the times clash. Sneaking a glance to check on your daughter, who is groggily hugging her favorite stuffed animal (one given to her by her grandmother), you dial your sister's number.
"Woman, you've been gone for a total of two whoppin’ minutes, what do you want now?" Monnie's voice answers the line abruptly which prompts you to pull the phone away from your ear when you hear the familiar muffle of a car.
"Are you driving!?" You say incredulously into the phone- a conversation you have openly said you're uncomfortable with. Monnie exhales into the phone which you imagine involves a painfully long eye roll.
"First of all, no, I'm not driving. You and Yoongi seem to think hell has frozen over if I do, and secondly, I'm pregnant, not helpless,"
A hearty snicker escapes your mouth, excitement filling you for your future nephew, "I know, but you can't even see your feet anymore,"
"And" she draws out, "My due date isn't until two months from now so you two need to calm down before I legitimately find relaxation pills to sneak into the wine I can no longer drink."
You sigh, “I don't like bitter wine-"
"Who said I couldn't find other ways to-"
"Fine," you raise a hand in the air, "Anyways, I'm not calling to fuss at you. I need a favor," bringing the tip of your thumb to your mouth, you nip at the nail, guilt brewing for even asking.
"What did you do," Monnie immediately asks as a reflex.
After years of schemes and numerous escape plans back in the day, it comes as no surprise that whenever you hear the words ‘favor’ the need to question arises.
"Nothing!" You scoff teasingly, pacing back and forth into the dining area ignoring the numerous small boxes you're procrastinating to unpack. "Monnie, really, I need a favor,"
"What's the catch?"
"Coffee," you answer straightway, "Caffeine-free coffee.”
"Ugh," your sister bellows, the staticky feel of the phone line poppy within your ears, "Hence why I want this little troublemaker to exit my body. I miss caffeine," she pauses, "But, not as much as I miss bitter wine.”
The quiet snicker of Yoongi is heard- you shake your head at your sister's playful banter- something Yoongi loves about his wife.
"Well, it's the least I can do," you offer, "But is there any way you can take Mae to her open house this coming Monday?"
"Yes, of course, we can. Yoongi's off that day surprisingly, so no worries, he will be driving."
You’re very thankful your sister will take care of it, and you soon hang up the phone for the evening and turn on a heel to prepare dinner for you and your daughter.
Everything will be okay.
When Monday rolls around, you fluff at the curls layered in your hair, triple-checking your makeup, and doing a couple of side glances in the mirror before your clicking heels leave the bathroom. Monnie and Yoongi wait in the driveway, planning to take Mae to her new school while you tackle a new job.
"I love you so much, Mae," you hug her close, letting her soft hair tickle your nose before pressing a kiss to her forehead. "And make sure you say ma'am or sir when greeting your teacher, and say please and thank you, okay?"
"I will Mommy, I promise!" She says, her nervous eyes mirroring your own, though they resemble the eyes you used to get lost in once upon a time. Burying the thought further, you refuse to dig up the lurking past until you're ready.
"Be good, kiddo," embracing your daughter one more time before she heads to the car.
Your eyes linger out the door to ensure she safely enters the car and drives off until you can no longer see them. Once out of sight, you can assure yourself that this day will move along smoothly for both of you.
Walking into the new job, the boss, Kim Namjoon, shows you around, introducing you to the staff. Slightly bowing with each face to show respect. It's then you're led to what will be your office.
Namjoon hands you a schedule and goes over the code of conduct, also explaining your role in answering phone calls or preparing projects he asks of you. Lastly, he assists in providing you with a username and password. All the basics are covered, and you can say that it hasn’t been as terrifying as you originally thought.
"I'll be looking forward to seeing you further your skills with our company. Thank you for joining the team," Namjoon shakes your hand, nodding once, his black glasses slip to the bridge of his nose before he fixes them. "Your trainer will be here shortly to show you the ropes. Once you feel comfortable on your own just let us know,"
"Will do, thank you, sir," you smile, settling behind your desk once he departs.
Though decorations to make the atmosphere more like home has been a goal, the only thing you need right now is just the picture frame of your daughter; one you slip from your purse to steady next to the computer- her toothy smile lighting up your whole world as her happy eyes warm your heart. Staring at the photo once more, you log in to your computer, bringing up the first message you receive. Deeply focusing on the list of projects forwarded to your work email that was already prepared prior to your arrival, you scan through everything, scribbling down your login onto a pad of paper you plan on keeping within your purse. Unbeknownst to you, a tall figure leans into the entryway, poking his head just enough to reveal his identity,
"When I saw the name on the schedule, I had to do a double-take! Since when, did you decide to come back to the underworld?" The deep voice utters prompting you to jolt from your concentration to gasp at the handsome face smirking at you.
It takes a total of two seconds for you to recognize the man standing before you.
"Kim Seokjin!" The excitement leads you to jump from your desk, arms outstretched, you rush towards him until crashing into his embrace while he sways you from side to side. "I didn't know you worked here! Jin, how are you?" Your hands grip his shoulders, gazing at his dancing eyes- dark hair longer from what you remember in high school, covering his forehead in the softest fluff.
"I'm doing good! Never been better."
When you realize you've been in his arms a moment longer than expected, you slowly back away, a timid smile forming on your lips.
Clearing his throat, his expression reflecting the same awkward tension, you can't help the slight attraction within your chest. It most definitely had to be due to your lack of physical contact. When was the last time you went on a successful date? Oh dear… far too long for you to remember.
Yes, this slight tingle you feel upon your skin has everything to do with the lack of romance in your life. Definitely.
Seokjin politely ignores your forced smile by shoving his hands within his pockets. It is in that moment you catch a glimpse of his bare ring finger kindling a subtle surprise. Out of everyone in your past friend group, you expected him to be the first one married.
Everything about him then screamed husband. It’s probably the same now.
“How are you, y/n?"
“Wonderful," you sigh, inwardly grateful to have a familiar face welcoming you, bringing a sense of comfort until you get used to being here, "Excited to be back,"
"What's it been, like, seven years?" Jin tilts his head while his eyes scan the ceiling, "Gosh, we were children, then,"
You nod in agreement, "Still to this day, I remember dreading pre-calc, if it wasn't for you and-" leaning backward onto your desk a bit too far, the clanging of your picture frame lands on the desk interrupting what you were about to say.
"Oh!" Jin reaches to set it back up, eyes widening when he sees the picture, "Is- is she-?"
"My daughter," your head is slightly lower when answering, the realization Jin makes bundling nerves within your tummy.
Seokjin was your best friend in high school and even after his graduation, since he's a few years older than you, both of you maintained a friendship up until you vanished without any explanation. Jin helped you with all your math classes, which was something you consistently struggled with, and supported you at any event you attended. No one ever knew why you left so suddenly after your graduation, and though there were people you trusted with your whole life, you couldn't bear to tell them when you found out you were pregnant. Seventeen years old and pregnant, "Her name is Mae," you smile.
"How old is she?" He asks, eyes meeting yours- his nervous fingers fiddling within his pockets.
"She's seven," you can't bring yourself to meet his eyes- a dawning 'oh' becoming present on his lips.
"Well," he swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing, "She's beautiful."
"Thank you," you say softly, turning to stare at the photo fondly, "She's my best friend,"
When silence falls between the two of you, he rocks on his heels once, gathering words carefully. Now fully understanding that whatever your motives were for leaving seven years ago, you did not do it with the intention of hurting anyone.
“She looks just like you," His compliment catches you off guard, your eyes trailing from his broad shoulders to the gentleness resting in his brown irises, heart fluttering though you mask it.
"Thank you, Jin," he bows slightly, turning toward the entrance.
"I'll see you around, y/n," and with that, his presence disappears, leaving your wondering heart thudding beneath your chest.
Min-a, a lady with red-rimmed glasses and matching lipstick, dangly, red earrings and a messy bun happened to introduce herself as your trainer shortly after Seokjin left. Quickly going over how the system at your new job works, she answered any questions you had, even letting you try a couple of phone calls as well as preparing for the first task on a presentation that involved the selling of a cosmetic product. Although the hours seemed to drag, the only thing your mind focuses on is how your daughter is doing, and how open house went.
When the opportunity presents itself, you quickly give a call to Monnie.
"You asked questions, correct?" You panic into the phone. Your sister is chuckling at your rushed state.
“Met her teacher? Showed her the classroom? Took notes? Did they provide any information?" You can't help yourself, slinging your purse into the passenger side after the long day, pressing the phone between your cheek and shoulder as you triple check to make sure you have everything you need. Keys, wallet, paperwork from the job.
"Can you breathe?"
"Did they provide any information," you repeat with a playful yet stern tone. "And did Mae-"
"Y/N, hold your titties. Yes, we did. We met the teacher, she knows where to go next Monday and no, I didn't take any notes. You are being dramatic."
Now, most people assume that she was being rude. That she didn’t understand the stress of motherhood. Monnie may not be a mother yet, but she is a woman who saw everything you have endured. She is fully aware that you seek to make this transition smooth for Mae because you love her. And Monnie loves you.
She just happens to know when you are stressing yourself out beyond what you should be. Sometimes reminding you to take a breath is the best decision.
"Okay, okay," you lean back into your seat with eyes squeezed shut, "I'll relax. Just- just, thank you. Thank you for doing all of this for me," you're grateful despite the guilt from missing your daughter's preparation for the big day in a week's time.
"What can I say? I'm the best auntie ever," Monnie gloats. You know the tight-lipped smile she most likely has planted on her face while Yoongi stifles giggles.
"Yeah, and you're the only one so what choice does she have?"
"You're just jealous because I am the best thing since sliced bread-"
"Stale bread.”
"I'll have you know that these hot crossed buns didn't form a baby with being sta-"
"SPARE ME," you yell into the phone, turning out of the parking garage and into downtown, "I'll see you when I get home you sicko. Tell Mae I love her very much, and I really hope she's wearing her headphones, I don't need her listening to your profanity-"
"Yes, she is listening to music, I'll see you in a bit, love you,"
"Love you," you make a detour, stopping for some iced coffee as you promised, also purchasing your daughter's favorite treat in celebration for her beginning second grade.
Keeping your full attention on the road, it's still quiet enough, even with comforting music, to let your thoughts spin. With this new job you have acquired, it's come to your attention that this will be the busiest you've ever been, at least according to Min-a. Though you and your sister's relationship had been strained nearly seven years ago, it took Mae turning four years old- a time where the guilt nearly consumed you- to reconcile with the one person you hoped had forgiven you. One thing you did think about, too, especially with moving back after all this time, was looking for the individual who changed your life. A young man, full of life, numerous dreams he was determined to accomplish, laughter that made you swoon, and a heart that pieced yours together when your world was falling apart. Where he is now, you're uncertain of. And, whether he'd be happy to see you again, that's unknown to you, too. With the news, you've buried deep enough, and with the way you left him, he still to this day has not an idea of the gift you brought to this earth without him.
Even Seokjin, who was your rock most of your high school years, didn't even know about the situation. The only thing he was aware of was the man who had captured your heart at the time; though, you hope he wouldn't say anything or ask about it... Either way, you are thankful for the beginning of the reconnection with Jin. If anything, this job may draw the opportunity of really catching up; seeing what all he's been up to since you've last seen him, including the curious inquiry involving his love life hidden subconsciously. With a handsome man like him you'd think women would snatch him up quick. Though deep down, you've really missed him, and are hopeful in the fact he's still single.
Perhaps it’s okay if you search for someone too. Is it too soon to see that in Seokjin? Years may have passed but his enduring existence has not.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” you murmur to yourself.
Pulling into your driveway, you park the car, letting a long sigh out through your nose. No one knows who Mae's father is in your life, other than you. Something your sister has chosen to accept as well as your parents. Having Mae in their life is what matters to them the most, the same as Mae is your constant- the little girl who will always have your heart.
She is what brings stability to your life amid all the chaos from past, present and future.
Carrying the iced coffees into the house, Mae greets you with an excited smile and hug,
"Mommy!" She exclaims, her arms tightening around your frame, her long, black hair nestling into the material of your pants suit.
"Hello there, my sweetheart. I have a surprise for you," you coo, handing her the paper bag with her favorite dessert.
"Oh, thank you!" She takes it, opening the bag with wide eyes, "By the way, I think I'm really going to like school this year! Everyone is so nice!" Her toothy smile makes your heart swell, your hand running along the top of her head.
"And I can't wait to hear all about it," you beam, watching her take a bite out of the treat while sitting comfortably on the couch where her iPad is charging.
The simplicity of the evening is what naturally has your mind flooded with thoughts of what once was.
Freshly graduating high school, you weren't quite showing, yet upon the discovery of your pregnancy which is something you were thankful for. Your parents divorced when you were a freshman, with Monnie and you being a year apart, (also her being closer to your father, while you were closer to your mother). The two of you ultimately decided to live in separate houses. Monnie being completely unaware of your social life the same as you were hers. Well, when it mostly came to boys. Monnie happened to fall in love later; meeting Yoongi in college, both falling head over heels in love that led him to proposing within two years. Now, the two are expecting a baby boy. This time it is your turn to be an aunt.
"Well, well, if it isn't my favorite nemesis," Monnie waddles into the living room, her hand resting on top of her swollen belly; Yoongi follows behind her, shaking his head at her joking tone.
"Do arch nemesis buy coffees for their loved ones?" you lift the drink tray of coffees into her line of vision, "Decaf for you, Preggers."
Playfully snatching it from your hands, she takes a quick sip, "Ugh, I need something hell of a lot stronger.”
Yoongi chuckles, planting a sweet kiss to Monnie's temple, "I think childproofing is no longer of concern, Drunkard.”
Monnie scoffs, "Well, excuse me, Curly," her eyebrows raise while a tug of a flippant sneer aims back at her husband, "How about you carry this infant for nine months within your womb that deprives you of your weekly festivities.”
Yoongi sips his coffee in amusement, "I thought you said you got drunk off my love. Isn't that enough?"
"I-" Monnie pauses, not expecting such a soft retort that she can't deny. She shrugs before leaning into him as he wraps an arm around her.
"Get a room before I regurgitate," you tease, cackles echoing within the living room. After a few more conversations, Monnie and Yoongi head home. Night comes quicker than you anticipate, which brings you to tucking Mae into bed, kissing her forehead before turning to waltz to your bedroom.
"Mommy?"
You halt at the sound of your daughter's soft voice, arching an eyebrow in concern,
"Everything alright, Mae?" Her almond eyes show a sadness you are familiar with- especially when something has been weighing on her mind- something you have feared since she became old enough to talk. A subject you're not sure you're ready to talk about. A pout forms on her lips as she bundles closer into her covers.
"I saw a lot of families today," your shoulders tense, heart beginning to thud louder beneath you while sorrow overwhelms your chest.
"My teacher actually thought Aunt Monnie and Uncle Yoongi were my mom and dad," her eyes meet yours, reflecting the same eyes you try to keep suppressed in the back of your brain, but sometimes that's hard to do- especially when her heart is as pure as his was.
"Mommy?" Her sweet voice breaking you from your trance, you dread the topic more than you'd like to admit- also wondering how long you may have been zoned out just a moment ago.
"Yes, love?" You try to pretend you're not nervous, which is extremely difficult to do because it's written all over your face.
"Do I-?" Mae begins, gulping carefully before continuing, "Do I... Have a dad?"
Your shoulders fall expectedly at her question, your eyes immediately gazing at the bed covers your hands are gripping. Swallowing, you're trying to gather what little words you have spiraling relentlessly to the point you feel faint. How can you answer her? How can you tell her how cowardly you were? Running from him to keep him from giving up on his dreams? Leaving for the fear of him rejecting you? Rejecting your daughter? His daughter?
You left him without any warning. Something you never thought you would do. Pregnancy wasn't part of the plan, but you are thankful it happened. Although, every day you wonder what it would be like if her father was or had been in Mae's life. Would you be where you are now?
"Honey," you murmur, wishing you could muster the strength to answer her, "It's time for bed, okay? Mommy's got work in the morning," you can hardly meet her eyes- brimmed with tears. But instead of questioning you, her small hand reaches forward to hold yours, and all you can do is let your tears pang the comforter. "I love you so much,"
"I love you, too, Mommy."
Wiping away your tears once you re-tuck Mae into bed for the night, you briskly walk to your room, shutting the door behind you. Now you rush to your closet to find a bin you keep all your old journals in. It doesn't take long before you find it; a journal you kept in college. Nearly torn to pieces it seems yet held together just enough to keep the written pages intact. You flip through the sheets until you find it. The picture of you and Mae’s dad taped onto one of the pages; you run your fingers along both your smiling faces as a tear slaps onto the paper. You carefully remove the photo, folding it in half and tiptoeing to the kitchen to place it safely within your purse. One day, you promise yourself, you'll show it to Mae- you'll finally find the strength to reveal who her father is. Because your daughter deserves that much.
It was the fighting that brought you here; innumerable nights of hiding in your bedroom, counting down the time until the arguing silences. Holding your sister close while she covers her tear-stained cheeks into your shirt. It was the shouting that brought you to where you are now- back pressed against the crinkled rooftop while your bare feet smooth amongst it. Your parents announced divorce a few days prior, yet the two can't seem to settle things enough to become civil. Although you and your sister have tried to make ends meet, the truce was made that both of you will part ways as well. You would remain here with your mother while Monnie moves in with your father.
The stars stare down at you- shimmering above as if dancing to the songs of the chirping crickets neighboring the night. Warm tears stroke your cheeks, your hands folded upon your stomach while you swallow the sour taste on your tongue. The familiar sound of the treehouse ladder, which is what you typically use to pull your way to the roof, prods you to focus in on what you realize are footsteps. They carefully step onto the roof. The metal clinking sounding until the figure settles beside you, raising their knees while they lean back onto the palms of their hands.
"Your call had me worried," the voice of your best friend brings a relief you've needed all day, but you can't bring yourself to look him in the eyes, "What's up?"
You can feel his gaze- him blinking a few times in reaction to his contact lens, the infamous blink you're so used to seeing. Seokjin nudges you slightly, bringing your attention to reality while you glimpse up at him to notice his recently cut hair gelled to the point it shines beneath the moon.
"They're getting a divorce," you murmur while fresh tears stew, returning your glance to the constellations above in an attempt to distract yourself from the stab beneath your chest. Seokjin's shoulders fall almost brusquely, his lips ajar while his heart aches for you.
"Y/N, I'm so sorry,"
"It's okay," your eyes squeeze shut, "I knew it was coming, I just- I didn't know who else to go to,"
"Hey," voice soft, he slides to lay on his back, his shoulder touching yours just enough to remind you he is here- the comfort of a friend that will do anything to put a smile on your face, "I'm right here."
It doesn't take much for you to bury your face into his chest, muting the sobs that overwhelm your frame in harsh trembles. Your hands grip his shirt to somehow force the pain away. Seokjin visits you nearly every day after school, and tonight was a night he was studying for his midterm. Hence why when you called to find out he was busy, you refused to burden him with your heartache that you merely told him you were fine, just bored out of your mind. Of course, he knew better, dropping his studies to rush to your home- climbing to your rescue to join you underneath the stars. He figured it had to do with your math homework- he didn't expect such saddening news. Yet he holds you tight, wishing there was something he could do to tell you everything will be okay.
'Do I... Do I have a dad?'
A long, dreaded sigh escapes your lips as you lean into your chair; anxiety builds with every passing minute. Work is not helping nor is your mind that happens to be too foggy to concentrate on any tasks at hand. Crossing your arms, pen gripped between your fingers, you still can't help but ponder the one lingering question that refuses to vanish since Mae asked you nearly a week ago.
The picture from your journal lays unfolded in front of you. The computer screen is bright and alert which is the opposite of your current mood. Yet you lean forward, minimizing the blank word document that has sat before you untouched since you've clocked in, and you click online to search through your Facebook. If anything, he must have a profile, something to give you an idea of what he's been up to. Posing your fingers above the keyboard, you hold your breath, typing in his first name just to huff in frustration. You quickly exit out of the screen before it even has a chance to compute what name you were trying to search.
"Fuck," you whisper, running your hands along your face once again, "Why can't I do this?" rubbing your eyes, you lift your head to see the photo of your daughter. She's the only reason you've made it to where you are today. Her patience and understanding for why you don't always have an answer. The trust she has regardless of what situation is thrown your way. You are the strongest woman she knows aside from her favorite auntie though you doubt yourself from time to time. No matter what, even if you were to find him- her father- even if he chooses to remain unheard of once the revelation is made known to him… At least, you have her.
Clicking off the site, you refold the picture of you and Mae's father to settle it within your purse. You know it's wrong. Keeping this from him. But you've done it for so long that you just accept that right now, you need some time. The time that you always assure yourself you have even though you know one day it will run out. Wincing from the pain that waves within your chest, you bury your face into your palms, the tips of your fingers tickled by your hair.
"Having second thoughts?"
When you recognize the voice of Seokjin, a small smile forms on your lips while you raise your head to greet him. Your eyes adjust to the light while you watch him approach with hands in his pockets. He drops into the seat that Min-a had brought in which was positioned next to you. His warmth being so close brings a sense of comfort that you've been needing all day. And despite the sensation that burns in your chest from the attraction, you try to ignore it. You hardly notice that you haven't said a word since he arrived.
"You seem… rattled," he observes, concern shedding from his eyes while he pivots in the chair.
"And, you seem entertained,"
Jin pauses mid-spin and throws you a humorous glance, "You're never too old to swivel, okay," laughter just falls from your smile, him pausing to run his hands together, before turning to face you once again, "Wanna grab some coffee?"
"You act as if you've already had some,"
"One cup is never enough, now let's go,"
The two of you walk to the nearest shop to order your drinks which Jin insists on paying despite your objections. The two of you settle into one of the tables outside. The sun shines high in the sky, causing his hair to glisten as well as the smooth skin of his face. You can't help but take it all in; uncertain of how you could have forgotten such a content face. His stare remains off to the side- investigating the parking lot; unaware of the way you watch him. You are happy to have your best friend from what feels like a lifetime ago, sitting before you as if the friendship had never been lost. When guilt seems to raise its ugly head, your glance drops to stare at your drink curled within your fingers prompting you to twirl the cup. This then becomes the moment where you fixate on the tiny details, such as the perspiration from the melting ice that dampens your fingers.
"You've gone quiet," his voice is tender as it always is when he's concerned, which is something you’re glad to see has never changed.
It really is just like it was back in high school. Suddenly you feel as if all those years away vanish. You are a girl spending time with her best friend.
Shifting in your seat uncomfortably, you take a moment, swallowing before answering.
"It's Mae's first day of second grade," you lean back in your chair to cross your arms, trying to ease the nerves wanting to plague your mind, "And... I think it's safe to say I'm more nervous than she was this morning.”
Trying to make light of the situation, Jin lets out a breathy laugh of understanding. However, when your smile slowly falls into an anxious line, he can't help but intercede.
"Hey," he reaches over to rest his fingers upon yours, the shape of them igniting memories from the times you'd tease him (a cute trait about him amongst many) which he'd retort with mentioning how bad your hair frizzes when it's humid.
Your eyes never leave the scene of your fingers touching. The desire to interlace them has never been so strong- something you hadn't thought of before with him.
He must have mistaken your stare of one of discomfort, so he quickly brings his hand back to his coffee to take a quick sip, "If she's anything like you, which I'm pretty positive she is," he tilts his head, the serenity pooling within his gaze bores into yours, "She's going to be just fine."
The rest of the time is spent slowly walking back to work. Your shoulder brushing slightly below his. The urge to want to hold his hand is still present although you're uncertain if he will reject you which is something you'd rather not be embarrassed by. But his words from nearly ten minutes ago spin profusely like a record.
Seokjin isn't angry with you, except that's something you're oblivious of. On the contrary, he finds you the most determined human being to walk the planet. He doesn't see your daughter as a secret, he sees her as someone who fueled you to become the best mother and person you can be. He sees your leaving as taking responsibility upon yourself and whoever the father of Mae is. Though he thinks highly of you, he is also oblivious of the one detail that is too soon to reveal. The father has no idea of Mae's existence, which is something you know would upset Seokjin if he were to find out.
It's then Jin glimpses at you, your worried expression evident, "She's going to be fine," he reassures you.
The road soon leads to the parking lot of your job when the courage to reach for his long fingers turns into a reality.
Damn, y/n. I never thought you would be so bold, you thought to yourself.
You haven’t been here very long. But it appears that none of it matters when it comes to being with Seokjin. The years separated doesn’t feel so foreign to you but a fond memory that follows you wherever you go.
Yes, you have wanted to hold his hand long before this exact moment.
His eyebrows raise in surprise, but you refrain from averting your gaze, letting the corners of his eyes crinkle from the side grin that tugs upon his lips. With the sensation of his fingers sliding to fully intertwine yours, you hardly register the time that's passing, but you're so enthralled by the kindness he's never rid of that you don't want to move.
"Thank you, Jin," your voice softer than the wind breezing through the ruffling trees. He squeezes your hand once before nodding, hoping that after all this time you'll finally see what's been standing right in front of you.
Mae traces each letter carefully onto the notebook paper until everything upon her heart has been written. The assignment today is to write a note to someone special whether it be a family member, a friend, or a person in uniform one may know. Once the projects are graded, the messages will be returned for each student to give the letter to the person they wrote it to. Sadness overwhelms her heart while she scribbles down the final sentences, soon rising from her seat to lay the paper onto Mr. Park's desk.
"Thank you, Mae," he grins, accepting the paper, "Everything going okay with today's assignment?"
"Yes, sir," she nods politely, remembering to greet her teacher the way her mom taught her.
"Good," Mr. Park smiles, proud that his students so far have been doing well with the English portion of his lessons, "Any questions?"
"No, sir," Mae replies, turning on a heel to be seated at her desk.
Once all the papers are collected, Mr. Park begins the math lesson. Mae is hardly able to focus because the one thing she can't seem to shake is the burning question she has yet to know the answer to.
Transitioning to the new school has gone smoothly: her gradually making new friends, and Mr. Park is enthusiastic with the way he teaches. She enjoys coming here almost every day.
There's just something missing.
There's a half of her reason for existing- one she has questioned since she became old enough to notice that her tiny family wasn't complete. One she wishes she can tell her day to just as she does with you. She wants to know who this missing piece is, and though she has no idea where to start, she refuses to lose hope. Reaching for her pencil, she copies down each math problem Mr. Park adds to the board wishing nothing more than to hear your voice, telling her everything will be okay.
Sometimes, at night, before Mae goes to sleep, she pulls out a journal Aunt Monnie bought her a while back. The journal Mae writes letters to her father in- telling him about her days spent with you. Days where she's sad and wishes she could meet him. Days where she mentions her favorite hobbies and foods, even animals. It's something you don't know about because Mae knows it would make you sad if you were to read it, and that's the last thing she ever wants for you.
Overall, she can't help, but close her eyes and make a wish, the same wish she has wished on so many stars. The same wish she put in her letter that is now turned in to Mr. Park,
'I wish I knew where to find you.’
"You know you're supposed to put an X there,"
"I'm about to put an X where the sun doesn't shine if you-"
"It's called accuracy, now mark that X on the spot,"
Seokjin pokes the area on the homework assignment- a math problem you have struggled with for the past hour while you huff in frustration. Your clammy palm spreads along your forehead with the geometry problem staring back at you in a torturous taunt.
"Well," you sputter, "who the hell thought it was smart to mingle Algebra with Geometry?" You lean back in your chair, exasperation evident in your limbs that go limp by your sides, "And, who the hell thought we would ever use this in real life situations? Tell me why this is even a thing?"
The windshield wiper laugh is all that serenades your ears while your best friend's shoulders shake hysterically, "Do you plan on becoming a photogrammetrist?"
"A what-"
"A photo. Gram. Et. Rist,"
Silently, you stare at Seokjin with his plump lips poised in a side grin while he attempts to maintain a straight face. With the way your eyebrows are furrowed so hard, you wouldn't be surprised if it resulted with a wrinkle smack dab in the middle of your forehead.
"... No,"
"Okay," Seokjin claps once, "Then all you have to worry about is acing this class.”
You can't help but squint at him, his amusement making you want to playfully smack his shoulder. Although the idea of having to deal with this class for the rest of the semester makes you thrust your head back with impatience, "And how am I going to do that?"
"Because I'm not going to let you fail," his words catch you off guard, especially when you raise your head to meet his gaze. How you ever deserved a friend as loyal as him you will never be sure, but you give him a soft smile, before he clears his throat, "So, if I were you, I'd write that X so we can focus on finishing the rest of the problem,"
It's hard to snap back to reality just to continue overthinking a Geometry problem, but you reluctantly lean forward anyways, obeying Seokjin's orders. After you carefully write the X onto the lopsided triangle he had drawn earlier, you look over at him, his eyes tunnel visioning before him while he slowly draws a circle.
"Thank you," you murmur, him pausing just to glimpse at you,
"Anytime."
And that's the day Seokjin wanted nothing more than to reach for your hand, but he desisted, merely distracting himself with the shapes and numbers he needed to create in order to help you solve them. Without your knowledge of his inner fight with telling you how he feels, you lay your head on his shoulder, the perfect pillow for your exhausted mind. And him taking in the smell of your lavender shampoo whilst struggling to scribble the final equation beneath one of the angles of another triangle he's drawn. By the end of the night, you are closer to fully understanding the gist of geometry- Seokjin applauding you through it all with him even closer to falling even more in love with the determined soul that you are.
*
Lack of sleep is an understatement, especially right now while you roam to the breakroom to fill a cup of water just to return to your desk. Namjoon scheduled another project for you to complete within the next week or two- one you must present to your coworkers at the staff meeting coming up soon. The phone has been ringing off the hook- not allowing you one moment of peace. Three weeks officially at the job, and you were able to break from the trainer in confidence that your skills have been met for the company.
Other lists of things tangle a web within your mind; you also have to run to the grocery store to stock up the pantry, write a check for the bills due in a few days, make sure laundry is caught up, and you have yet to unpack some of the boxes from first moving nearly a month ago. Not to mention, calling your sister every other evening to check up on her pregnancy. Despite it all, it's the side grin of a handsome face that waltzes into your office once you settle into your chair to finish up a phone call with a client that fills you with ease. Including him setting a steaming cup of coffee onto a coaster decorating your desk.
"Oh, Jin!" you gasp, "You don't- you didn't- you- I just, why are you so kind," you stammer, causing him to smile at your worn-out frame who ultimately accepts the coffee, blowing into the lid to cool the liquid before taking a sip.
He descends into his chair, his legs stretching before him while a giddy smile adorns your face. You hate being so obvious, but with the way Seokjin has been visiting you every single workday with laughter and little things you'd never expect him to notice after all this time. It’s as if your heart has finally found something to confide in- a place of serenity.
"Listen, if it's anything like how my first year was here, then caffeine is the treatment to survive," he pokes the back of your hand while your chest burns with an ache forming in your cheeks from hiding the dozens of giddy grins.
"Thank you," you murmur, your eyes dropping to your coffee cup to twirl it, a habit Seokjin has picked up on as well as the coffee flavors you tend to order. New things about you that he's gradually learning from the girl you no longer are from what feels like a previous life.
"So," he leans forward, resting his elbows upon his knees, both of your eyes connecting while he rubs his hands together, "Have you thought about tonight?"
A knowing smile naturally spreads across your face at his question. A question he asked a few days ago on if you'd like to go on a date one evening. And though that is definitely something you really want, with all the errands you have to run, you know tonight may not work out.
Nipping at your thumb, you contemplate, "Actually, can I make a proposal?"
He investigates your expression, leaning back just enough to fully see your face, "Should I be scared?"
"No," you retort, folding your arms across your desk, "I just- I- I have a lot of errands to run, and I was wondering if you'd like to come with?" His playful gaze softens as you jump to explain, "Mae is staying at my mom's tonight to visit her, or else she'd be with me. I guess, erm, I would just like the company, you know if-if you're up for it, I, uh-"
His large hands move to steal yours which distracts you enough for your words to trail off. His fingers interlock while his sweet expression refuses to break from your nervous face, steadying you just enough to feel the world around you stop.
"Hey," his voice is soft, his face now a few inches from yours, "I'd love to."
It's then your eyes cut to his lips that part just enough to tempt you. The yearn to kiss him waves within your chest and with the way the tips of his thumbs tickle tender circles along the palms of your hands, you know you're a goner. Seokjin leans closer because the desire beckoning you mirrors his own. His nose brushes yours until-
The sudden ring of the phone causes the two of you to jolt. Both pairs of eyes widen as your heart hammers against your rib cage.
"Oh, um, I, um, I better take this," you frantically reach for the phone, Seokjin clearing his throat as he throws you a thumbs up in understanding.
"I'll meet you at your place to pick you up. See you tonight.”
You nod at him whilst simultaneously trying to gather the question the client has on the line. There have been a few guys here and there you tried to court, but you were always way too afraid to take the next step, not only because you were terrified of the commitment, because you also wanted the right person who would protect and care for your daughter as much as you do. You can’t help but wonder how your daughter would feel if you were to admit to her about your interest in your former best friend; in your heart you know Mae would adore Seokjin, and you know Seokjin would do anything for Mae if given the chance. It’s just all in the timing, you try to tell yourself, but you can’t shake the guilt that you are seeing somebody without consulting with how Mae would feel especially since she recently asked about… her dad.
Thankfully, time flies by, until you find yourself preparing for the evening with Seokjin. Him showing up at the time he texted you he'd be arriving, you send a quick message to your mother to check up on Mae, before letting him whisk you away to the world of adulting. The grocery store is a place you never thought would be fun with anyone else other than your daughter. Turns out there is room for one more. Seokjin cracks jokes from left to right in order to ease your nerves. You end up giggling to the point that you can't breathe. As a result, all you can wonder is how you've never seen him in such a different light. In high school, he was strictly a friend to you, nothing more. Yet the way he's making your heart flutter it's as if the universe was made for just the two of you.
Finishing up errands, Seokjin points with his thumb at the remaining boxes you have yet to unpack. The gesture caused you to shrug with the excuse that you'll get to them at some point. This means the only thing left to do (after the two of you file into your home to unload the groceries and put them away) is to throw the laundry in the washer.
"Ugh," you exhale, running tired hands through your hair, "Finally, all done!"
As you are standing there with nothing else that requires immediate attention, you sense a shift in the air between you. It’s no lie that there has been a lingering tension. You meet his gaze.
Seokjin's breathy laugh escapes through his smile as he approaches you, his hands reaching to settle onto your waist while your arms move to tangle behind his neck. The heat of his chest nearly smothers you with happiness.
“Finally," he whispers, his forehead pressing to yours while you take in the way his heart is pounding in accord with yours. Unbeknownst to you, his finally isn't said with the same intention as yours. His finally is said with the hope he's never lost in winning your heart, making it a promise to win your heart every single day if you'll let him. When his hands then move slowly to wrap behind your back, your faces cuddle. The feeling of his strong arms holding you so tight you never want him to let go.
He is still mind blowing. Even with just the simple acts of him standing at your doorstep at the start of the evening with the way his hair is tint with slight waviness. His brown eyes timorously meet yours while his hands hide within the pockets of his pants. His loose dark denim jacket swallows his frame while the black hood rests against his back. All of these are simple… but so mind blowing. The way your heart moved at the sight of him, you can hardly register the sentiment you can't put into words. Right now, you are still speechless, you want to get lost in the moment with him. A million moments if possible.
Eyes closed, breathing steady. You kiss him. The warmth and softness of his lips causes you to melt as he leans into you. He tilts his head to deepen the kiss whilst the emotions pour out. Your back presses to the couch from moving backward. His frame towers over you, yet your hands find the tufts of his hair, refusing to let him break the kiss in any way.
Clothes start to fall to the floor once you lead Jin to your bedroom, letting his love overwhelm you in ways you've longed for since the two of you reunited. Bare bodies intertwine underneath the covers. Kisses placed on every inch of your skin, exchanging whispers of admiration for one another with his hands caressing you so gently you can hardly breathe.
The two of you become one, ending the evening with both of you crashing side by side. He immediately turns to hold you while you bundle your face into the crook of his neck. Words aren't needed to fill the silence, just the sound of his breathing and beating heart are enough to make you fall asleep with a smile on your face.
Even when the morning comes, the beams from the sun brighten your bedroom while the happiness creases at the corners of Jin’s eyes. His bare body is still glued to you, and you bundle the covers over your mouth as you timidly return his gaze. The tips of his fingers tickle along your skin while you get lost in him- snuggling you closer just to now tangle his long fingers into your hair at the nape of your neck. Lust grows in the pupils of your eyes as you watch him move to hover above you as things start to get heated yet again and he shuffles to place kisses along your abdomen until he reaches your inner thighs.
Moaning in response to his every touch, the ceiling fan wafts cool air along your exposed frame as Seokjin throws the comforter to the side so he can watch the pleasure fill your expression. Goosebumps domino upon your arms as you try to say his name, hips rising in reaction to the tip of his tongue swiping your heat. He slides forward to add more pressure of his lapping tongue along your entrance while he fully embraces your thighs with each arm. His movements against your core are so enthralling, you curve one of your legs behind his shoulders, “Oh Jin- oh fuck, baby you feel so fucking good- ah!”
Just when your eyes start to roll back, Jin runs his fingers from the middle of your torso to where your nipples start to bud from the chilly air of the room though your body is burning from the intense passion stirring between you two. His tongue still speedily moves continuing to lather up any bit of your taste he can while simultaneously beginning to rub his fingers ever so gently upon your nipples while you moan even louder. The strong sense rising in your core is so strong, your palm slams against the bed frame while Seokjin relentlessly enjoys his time with you.
Jin starts sucking on your clit after circling his tongue over your entrance messily before the orgasm starts to build even more, “Keep going,” you breathlessly say, “Keep going baby, ah-!” Your thighs tense as your body fidgets to the powerful sensation, leaving your thighs clenching as Jin watches you smile at how amazing he feels. “Holy fuck,” you squeal, Seokjin shifting to sit on his knees while his chin glistens from the juice of your heat. You lay there, your limbs feeling limp in response to everything, and your calves are pressed against the side of Seokjin’s frame as he watches you closely, so happy to see the woman of his dreams returning the bliss after all this time. “How am I supposed to recover from that?”
Quickly, the pair of you freshen up after sharing a few more lightheaded chuckles, brushing your teeth, and snickering at the trail of clothes in the hallway. After you mouth wash, Seokjin wraps his arms around you from behind to place a slow kiss to your neck- the heat of his skin causing you to feel dizzy while your core lets out a warm gush for the billionth time within twelve fanatical hours. The way his body moved with yours from the night before has you giddy, and thankful you gave sex another chance. Especially with someone you are truly having deep emotions for. A mischievous tip to the corner of your lips reflects in the bathroom mirror as you reminisce on the way Seokjin easily succumbed you to a desire you are addictingly going to dream about for the rest of your life, so why not return the sinful favor? Spinning in his arms, you flit your gaze along his face while you bite at your bottom lip, “You up for round two? Or would it be round three? I wasn’t done,” you coo seductively, just to cuddle to his face again.
“Oh no, what are you trying to do to me?” Seokjin moves a hand to cup your cheek, kissing your lips once while you whisper against his mouth.
“I said…” you murmur, gliding your fingers from his v-line to his chest, “I. Wasn’t. Done.” It doesn’t matter how tall Jin is compared to you. You push up on your tip toes to crash your lips more passionately with his while you push him in the direction of your shower. The minty taste of his tongue collides with yours as you then graze your teeth along his bottom lip giving it a nice, slow suck. If you are going to tease him, you want to tease him just right. Letting you take control, Seokjin inhales a quick breath as you trace his face, reaching behind him to switch on the shower, waiting for the steam of the water to start engulfing the bathroom.
“I’m a little scared,” Seokjin teases with a grin, and you nearly fall into his frame at the feel of his erection now pressing against your figure. This is a side of you that you never thought he’d see, but you do not want the excitement to end here.
“Step in,” you say softly, feeling the water drip between your fingers. Jin obeys immediately and you jerk the shower curtain closed as soon as your bodies mold underneath the pouring water. Arms holding each other tightly, you gasp into his kiss as the pair of you stay entranced, and his eyes widen in surprise when you slightly pull away just enough to give him a hinting glance. At this point, he is innocently reaching for the shampoo to start massaging your tangled strands, but you have something else in mind. Droplets of water linger upon his skin while you start to kneel, taking in the sight of his being which prompts your mouth to water.
“Oh,” Seokjin realizes, trying with all his might not to pounce on you with what he is witnessing before him. He is so turned on by you he can hardly stand it. You start with his tip, clamping your lips around it to run your tongue over his precum before you start to allow him further into your mouth. Taking an agonizingly long suck, you are even more aroused by the low moan he releases. Your hands move to grip his hips when you start hollowing your cheeks to suck even faster, bobbing your head while hot water trickles down your back. He doesn’t use his hand to guide you, he simply rests his hand on your head to keep himself from flipping you over to clap against your ass while you scream his name, letting you continue to give him the high of his life. You are surprised with how much drive all of this is giving you and maybe you didn’t realize how deprived you have been from physical intimacy.
Something about Seokjin just gave you the ultimate determination to please him and you know it is because of how much you have fallen for him in such a short amount of time. One palm moves to start rubbing his scrotum, him leaning his head back in pure ecstasy as you continue to move your mouth deliciously over his erection. You don’t even know where time has taken you at this point other than your back is on the bottom of the tub while Seokjin thrusts inside you- lips clinging to yours while you gasp in awe at how nothing, but magic seems to capture in every caress of his kiss.
Finishing, the water washes away his cum that seeps onto your inner thighs. “Oops,” he chuckles, falling into the crook of your neck while you squeeze your legs from the sensitivity.
“I’m not complaining,” you smile, eventually helping each other stand to start the shampooing. You don’t want to say it too soon, but everything he has done for you since you have known him makes you want to say it. Looking into the sweetness in his eyes, you want to confess exactly every thought turning within your brain cells. But you can’t and you are uncertain of why. Or maybe you just refuse to admit why because you haven’t given your daughter the closure about who her dad is. And your daughter comes first.
After cleaning up, the squeak of the shower knob signals the water being cut off and you reach for a few towels so that the pair of you can dry off. Jin slips out to start gathering his clothes knowing he has a few errands to run regarding work, and you must prepare to pick up Mae once you get the house organized properly. Wrapping a towel around your bare frame, Seokjin is fully dressed ruffling his hair while he waits in the hallway for you. He holds your outfit from the day before in his palm, yet you swiftly brush the tangles from your wet hair before parading to where he stands.
Sadness starts to etch in your expression, “I don’t want you to go.” You murmur, him handing you your clothes, so he can free his arms to hug you closer. Peering up at him, he leans in to press a slow kiss to your lips before resting his forehead to yours. There’s a strong silence between you two as Seokjin battles internally with what he wants to say, but he bites his tongue. He doesn’t want to go either, and his feelings that he has always had for you have returned but in full force- overwhelming him especially as he holds you in this very moment. How can he say it? He has been waiting for what feels like his whole life to tell you how he feels, so where does he even start?
Being with you is magic, it’s like he is in Heaven, and now you are finally sharing this dream of being together with him, and in a way, it doesn’t feel real all the same. “Trust me, I have every intention of seeing you outside of work.”
“Good,” you smile, “You’re fun.”
“Was I not before?” He smirks, moving to kiss your forehead, the tip of your nose, your closed eyelids- he peppers kisses down the side of your jaw while you teasingly shove him away.
“Eh, you talked about math too much,”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about me doing that anymore. That ship sailed when I turned twenty-seven. Now, I talk about physics.”
Rolling your eyes playfully, you scoff, “Same damn thing.”
Seokjin kisses you quickly, “Is that so,” he remarks, smacking your toweled ass once you turn on a heel.
*
"Is there a reason why you're glowing. You’re acting like you got laid." Monnie promenades along the house, cleaning out small boxes you have yet to unpack still; glaring at her when she attempts to lift heavier boxes which of course you rush to take them from her. "I have muscles, ya know," your sister arches an eyebrow while she rests her hands on her hips.
"Yeah, muscles that need to remain intact when holding your soon-to-be child," you remind her, completely dismissing the surprise you feel at how well your sister knows you after all. You set the box onto the dining table. Wiping the dust off your hands, you meet her shaking head, "And you're not supposed to be lifting anything whatsoever; hence why I have a much safer favor to summon from you,"
Monnie tilts her head, "Depends,"
"I'll buy you the reddest, most bitter wine whenever you are on maternity leave and unpregnant,"
"I'm listening,"
"Sit down,"
"Not until you tell me why you're more chipper than Yoongi's dog."
Chortling, you shake your head at your sister's consistent arched eyebrow.
"Maybe," you rush into the living room to finish dusting the shelves, your voice echoing behind you, the sound of Monnie's hands reaching into the cardboard box heard beneath your voice, "Maybe I have met someone. Well… re-met someone… and got laid."
"Um, excuse me!?” Your sister gasps, "You know I'm going to need more details than that! Do I know him?" Though Monnie's voice sounds concentrated, your auditory senses tune in to the sound of rapidly flipping pages. “And… Was it delicious?”
Snickering to yourself about her choice of complimenting words, you pause, "Possibly, you may know him. He was my best friend in high school if you remember. Happens to work at the same company I do now. Kim Seokjin?" Just the memory of his gentle fingertips running along your arms the following morning- his gaze never faltering while he soaked in every inch of your face. The blooming smile that seems to spread upon your lips images the swelling joy within your heart. “And yes, he is very good in the bedroom.”
You hear Monnie fake gag in disgust despite her asking about your sex life which prompts you to shake your head as you giggle. "Oh girl, he is cute! How could you not tell me about this hunk muffin? I can see why you finally got re-defloured."
"Please, Monnie, for the love of fucking sanity, do not say that phrase ever again!" you snort, then you pause in surprise, "you found him that fast? How-?"
"I'm on the senior section of your yearbook, and he's the only Seokjin I see so far, so girl go get that bread and devour it,"
"Gladly," you circle the living room for any spots you may have missed- the turning of pages being the main sound the next few minutes while you hum your favorite song beneath your breath.
"Hey!" Your sister's voice calls, "I didn't know Mae's teacher went to school with you!?"
"Oh? Maybe she and I were friends! What's her name?" Giving one more swipe onto the bureau holding the TV, you walk back to the dining room where Monnie examines the pictures within your old yearbook. When your sister's focus doesn't dissipate, you snap your fingers, "Hey, are you present?"
"Oh, sorry, I got distracted," she turns the page, "Oh, look, I found you!"
"Ick!” you raise your hands high while you slam your eyes closed, “Please don't show me the younger me. I’d rather talk about sex.”
"Wait a minute," your sister's eyebrows furrow while her stare remains fastened to the book, "Oh my, how he's grown!"
"He?" Confusion clouds your expression, especially since you assumed Mae's teacher was a female.
"Yeah, who did you expect?"
Mouth ajar, you comb back through your memory while Monnie meets your gaze. "Now that I think of it... I don't think anyone ever told me who Mae's teacher is. Here, just let me take a look at the picture,"
Monnie shrugs, "Okay," handing the open book to your outstretched hand. Your fingertips run along the smooth page until your eyes find the face you didn't expect to see. The pang of pure shock stuns your entire being while your eyes enlarge- heart pounding luridly you hardly hear Monnie's concerned tone trying to catch your attention, "So, were you close friends or what?" Hands unsteady, goosebumps raise among your arms- it's like you're frozen in time- eyes refusing to avert from the photo staring back at you. "Y/N? What's going on? Did he hurt you or something? What happened?" your sister's voice blurs through the fog suffocating your mind while nausea gathers in the pit of your stomach.
"Oh my God," you mouth, "Oh my God," heated tears stain your wide eyes while your body trembles uncontrollably. Your throat feels so tight that you aren’t even sure if you are truly breathing.
"Y/N, what the hell is wrong with you!? I seriously don't have time to cater to everyone's needs here. I have needs and that is this baby needs to come out so if you do not start talking, I’m-"
"It's- it's- I-" you stammer, feeling so faint, you are surprised you are still standing.
"Were you two a... Couple?"
Your eyes immediately meet your sister’s infuriated gaze, terror takes its toll over you before you can say more, pleading for her to interpret whatever attempt at telepathy you're sending her while the yearbook slips from your numb fingers just to smack the ground. "Did you-" It's then it dawns on her, words dying off her tongue- eyebrows rising, lips parting in a small gasp; hand raising to cover her mouth when she puts two and two together. ".... Oh," she steps backward as if to steady herself from the mutual tremor overwhelming both your systems. "Holy shit," she breathes, bending forward to grip a chair in front of her. Your eyelids are heavy when you fight through the dizzy spell swarming your fatigued head, your mind hardly registering your sister's continued hunched frame before the sound of water splats onto the wooden floor, jolting you to your senses. "Y/N," Monnie's voice breaks in pain, trying to endure the harsh contraction waving within her body, "Y/N, call Yoongi. Now. AAGH-"
"Oh, shit- oh, shit, oh shit, oh shit!" Realization hits you after your feet rush to where your purse is, fumbling with quivering fingers for your car keys, thrusting your sister's arm around your shoulders while you lead her to the passenger seat- your sister is about to have a baby, and she's about to have this baby soon. Monnie's breaths are steady, yet she winces with every contraction, your panicking expression hardly able to focus on the road the moment you dial Yoongi's number, swerving out of the driveway in the direction of the hospital, "Are you okay!?"
"Yes, I'm fine, I'm not letting this baby be birthed in your damn car, now drive!"
It doesn't take long until you've reached Yoongi- him frantic once it's revealed he's about to be a father, him also promising to pick up your mother and to pick up Mae from school- the three planning to meet you and Monnie at the hospital as soon as possible. Your sister grips the handle above the car window, inhaling and exhaling deeply with her eyes slammed shut. Your heart rams against your sternum, sweat beading on your forehead focusing solely on the road ahead still processing what has happened in such little time.
Mae's father has been right in front of her since you moved back without your knowledge- the guilt encompassing your mind faster than you can decipher- and right now, your sister is in labor, relying on your distressed driving to get both of you to the hospital in one piece.
Though the sudden turn of events shoves the lingering discovery in the back of everyone's minds for the time being laying open at home, in disarray on the floor holds a picture that was taken senior prom of high school, the night emotions were professed, and slovenly kisses were shared; one that unraveled the familiar pair of eyes squinted from a wide smile.
Despite it all, there is only one person other than your daughter that you can't stop thinking about, and with one swoop, you dial his number, inwardly begging just to hear his voice,
"Jin," you choke, fighting the tears the second he answers, "Jin, I need you,"
*
Seokjin left for college long before you greeted your senior year with a bang, heart moved on from your parents’ divorce, and you and your sister had a bond of steel, yet there were some things you limited from telling her. You never expected to meet him, the man who would capture your heart in ways you couldn’t explain, on your very first day of senior year, his hair tousled, eyes searching the hallways to memorize where he would be going, lips pursed in concentration. You offered to help him- revealing schedules to see the two of you shared a few of the same classes- walking together side by side sharing laughter and contagious smiles- your heart pounding with every brush of his warmth. You informed Seokjin of the newfound love every afternoon when you’d call, completely unaware of the pain you were causing him with every story.
It took months before your crush kissed you for the first time- lips gentle on yours, experiencing new things together- whispering dreams into the night when he would sneak visits to the treehouse while your mother was asleep. It was toward the end of the school year, after applying to several different colleges between the pair of you, that he was accepted to the university of his dreams- a full-ride scholarship that would bring him one step closer to fulfilling his dream job as a psychologist - even observed by coaches of college sports teams who begged him to join their sides.
The same day he reported his exciting news to you- was the same day you gripped the end of the pregnancy test, the red plus sign burning into your memory forever- while an overwhelming toll of fear traced every fiber of your being. You couldn’t destroy his chance- his chance of gaining a college degree, to play his favorite sports and possibly winning the world as your heart soared for his every success. Even seeing Seokjin when he’d be home visiting from college, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him of your plan; knowing he would talk you out of it if you were to confess.
It was graduation day when you last saw the father of your child- he kissed you so lovingly that you couldn’t hold the tears back while he hugged you.
“I love you,” he pressed his forehead to yours, assuming your tears were from accomplishing high school, unbeknownst to the real reason, your heart was bursting at the seams. “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too,” you murmured, his thumbs stroking your cheeks while his nose traces the tip of yours. “I’ll never forget you,” You whispered. He was distracted by his buddies who surrounded him with handshakes, his ears missing your final statement. His happiness was all you cared about, and with one final goodbye, you rushed home, packed your bags, and left as soon as you double checked your savings account for money, you saved up from your job you obtained your junior year. You blocked every number on your phone aside from your parents and your sister- notifying them of your pregnancy when you stumbled upon Monnie in a convenience store an hour out of the way- a convenience store her boyfriend at the time worked at- her eyes wide with the sight of your bulging belly- realization mingled with anger evident within her expression while pained tears brimmed her eyes. You cautiously ran to your car, refusing to look back.
It took the birth of your daughter, holding her in your arms for you to finally find the joy you had robbed yourself from for what seemed like a lifetime. Her small smile brought a new hope- a new beginning. At the time, you knew you could do this- be a mother. Be her everything- the same as she will be your everything- promising to love her unconditionally until the day you die. Even if the picture of his face haunts your dreams for the rest of your life, you'll accept it, because at least you have the bundle swaddled in a pink blanket, beaming up at you as if you're the only one she will ever need.
*
Seokjin fumbles with his car keys while he enters the elementary school, clipping them to his belt loop. The clear hallways pave glistening tile floors underneath long lit lights that align the ceilings.
Scents of disinfectants waft to his nostrils while he grips his coffee cup, waving toward the principal, Kim Taehyung, who he used to go to college with back in the day. You’re the only one etched in his mind- the way the sun glimmered upon your face until your eyes fluttered open to shine with the rays. Or the way you kissed him so lovingly before he left- returning a smile to him every time he steps foot into your office.
After seven years without your presence, he never expected for you to return- pulling his heart into your direction absentmindedly, yet this time he can finally express his heart- something he never dreamed he’d have the chance to do. Guilt sweeps within his conscious for there is a secret he has kept from you- one he felt wasn’t his place to say, yet he approaches the classroom, knocking on the already open door.
“Ah, Seokjin!” Jimin’s cheery tone echoes, him immediately rising from his creaking chair, “Did Taehyung put you up to it?” Seokjin chuckles, Jimin reaching for his hand just to pull him in a quick hug.
“Nah, I just wanted to give you my condolences,” Seokjin’s eyes hold concern when Jimin’s face contorts in a grim expression. Jimin’s grandmother, who happened to be the inspiration for his switch of majors in college, passed away a week ago- Seokjin received the news from mutual friends promising to pay Jimin a visit, “I’m really sorry about your grandma. She was very kind,” Jimin’s Grandmother really helped the two of them throughout college when they would come home to visit- cooking them meals and sharing words of wisdom when they felt like giving up.
Memories that helped Seokjin and Jimin heal when they lost you.
“Thank you, I really appreciate it,” Jimin pats the back of Seokjin’s shoulder to rest his hands upon his hips, “But, anyway, enough about me, what has been going on with you? Any promotions at your job? I know you mentioned a few new people were going to be hired a month ago,”
Seokjin turns to lean against the whiteboard which happens to be freshly cleaned, scoping the empty classroom assuming the kids are at recess. A grin tugs on his lips especially when a flash of your smile sends a warmth he seems to miss- though, he clears his throat, trying to mask the awkward tension that he doesn’t want Jimin to detect.
“Everything’s been great with the new hires, but as far as a promotion, Namjoon and I have discussed it, but I turned it down. It would mean I’d have to move companies, and I don’t necessarily want to do that-”
Frilly voices mingled with padding footsteps resonate within the hallway distracting Seokjin as his eyes trace to the door of the classroom. “You turned it down? I thought you’ve been waiting for this for years!” Jimin, being immune to the sounds since he hears it consistently, waits patiently for Seokjin to reply. But it’s the silhouette of a young girl skipping to a desk following suit to other pupils doing the same that catches Seokjin off guard to the point his focus dissolves. Her toothy smile identical to the photo placed upon your desk, the realization hitting Seokjin in a pained confusion.
“Mae?” Seokjin murmurs to the point it’s inaudible. His eyebrows furrow, the coffee cup sitting loosely in his hand.
“Hey, Jin,” Jimin’s forehead crinkles in worry, Seokjin stammering when he returns to reality, gripping the coffee cup tighter to prevent it from slipping to the floor, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” he replies, eyes scanning Jimin’s desk with the realization that there aren’t any frames of his daughter- the one sitting across from him in the classroom- which plagues the realization that Seokjin has battled with for some time since he reunited with you.
Mae’s gaze flickers between the two men- wondering who the man conversating with Mr. Park is- his hand shoving into his pants pocket while he holds a coffee cup in his free hand. She tilts her head curiously when the men’s’ tones are hushed- that’s when a friend of hers taps on her shoulder to show her a drawing she made during class earlier that morning.
“Sorry, heartburn,” Seokjin’s save seems believable once he pats his chest- Jimin offering an antacid which Seokjin politely declines. When a call at Jimin’s desk rings, he apologetically looks at Jin with a ‘duty calls’ look.
“Well, it was great seeing you,” Jimin shakes his hand, “Taehyung’s golf crew are heading out next weekend. I figured he mentioned it to you, but if you’d like to come, I can send you all the details,”
“Of course, thank you,” Seokjin shares his goodbyes until Jimin answers the phone. Jin steps out of the classroom wishing he had fresh air to breathe. From what he can tell, Jimin is unaware of the little girl who is his own flesh and blood; something Seokjin knows isn’t his place to know, yet the inward betrayal- what if she was his daughter? Would you have kept this away from him? He always assumed that you and Jimin had everything figured out, but with this epiphany, now it all makes sense as to why Jimin never spoke of Mae because he clearly has no idea that he is her father. Seokjin doesn’t want to be selfish- that’s the last thing he ever wants to be- but, in this situation, upon the discovery of your deepest secret, he doesn’t know how to process it- trying so hard to understand your side even though it’s never been discussed.
Sprinting to his car, he settles inside, turning on the air conditioner in full blast while he sets his coffee cup into a cup holder, running his palms along his face tuning everything out. Everyone has secrets and nobody is perfect, but here he is struggling with the thought of possibly being a hypocrite. How can he be angry that you kept your daughter a secret from her father when he’s been best friends with Jimin ever since you left? And how can he admit to Jimin that he’s in love with a woman who happens to be the mother of his daughter?
The pain surges through Seokjin’s chest, stabbing every fiber of his heart- wishing nothing more than to hear your voice. Something that will take away this agony even if for a moment. Minutes drag until the vibration of his cellphone prompts him to open his anxious eyes, reaching for the device to see your name lit up on the screen.
It doesn’t take long before he answers, “Hello?” He breathes, relief flooding his senses.
“Jin,” your voice wavers, “Jin, I need you.”
-
Sparse memories flicker from when you were in labor, blurrily seeing the rectangular lights on the ceiling as you were raced to a hospital room. Fear gripping your figure amongst the pain of contractions and going through the birth of your daughter all alone. You remember the comfort of the nurses and the kindness of the doctor, and she talked you through every step until your daughter was finally bundled in your arms. Now, it’s your sister’s turn. Although, you have no recollection of how you made it to the emergency entrance where your heart is pounding through your temples and the anxiety is roaring inside your chest.
Monnie breathes as steadily as she can as you rush to the passenger door to retrieve her. You are uncertain how you even alerted the hospital staff to make their way to your car- an attractive, young guy in scrubs with the name tag, Jeongguk, rolls a wheelchair to Monnie’s side while another nurse in blue scrubs named LenLen tries to get the information from you as you muster whatever words you can to answer the questions to lead Monnie to her main physician for the birth. You do not even remember helping Monnie out of the car, and when you start to follow the nurses wheeling your sister into the building, you hardly expect the grasp of your shirt dragging you to your sister’s gritted teeth and desperate plea.
“What the hell do you think you are doing?” Monnie can hardly speak through the pain, her cheeks flushing as you stare at her incredulously.
“What do you mean what am I doing!? You are about to have a baby! I’m not fucking leaving your side!”
“The hell you are! You’ve got to tell Mae’s teach- father, you are going to tell Mae’s father everything before I put you in the hospital myself!”
“Did you not hear me!? I’m not leaving your side-”
“I’ll be in labor longer than you think. And, if you don’t leave now, you’re going to run out of time- AAGH- So GO- AAGH-”
“Monnie-!” The nurses are helplessly watching the pair of you verbally battle match loudly, and you try to calm down, but right now there is no such thing as calming down. “What about Mae!? I can’t just leave her! And what about Jin? He’s on his way!”
“I will take care of Mae-!” Monnie growls in pain. “I have Yoongi and Mom, and I’m sure Dad already booked a flight, so I will not be alone. And I’ll tell your boyfriend everything, but Mae is your priority right now and it’s about fucking time that she knows who her father is,” Monnie tries to meet your enlarged, hysterical eyes. “I know you will be back as soon as you do the right thing. Now, hurry up and fucking go!”
“Okay!” You reply breathlessly, tears you hadn’t realized were muddling your vision fall down your cheeks in tepid paths. “Okay,” you choke, “I’ll do it.”
Monnie’s fingers detach from your shirt and you, crying, run to your car, hardly knowing what else to do other than panic. This is it. This is it- you have no choice but to face your biggest fear, and now that you know Mae’s father has been right here all along, you can’t help the humiliation you feel and are going to feel once you share to him the biggest secret you have ever kept from him. Choking back sobs, you barely can remember what the name of her school is from how distraught you are, but your shaking fingers try to type the name you believe it is until the GPS pulls it up.
There is no escaping this, and you have the route ready as the voice directs you on every turn.
-
His kiss made you melt every time, and the first time you both became one, he was so gentle, and loving despite the discomfort of it all. Of course, the curiosity and the learning involving intimacy became an addiction you two couldn’t stop, especially when your body was starting to enjoy it. You weren’t on birth control in high school, so it should have been expected that you would have become pregnant. But what you didn’t expect was how you were going to break the news to him when he had so much on his plate already. Kids were never a conversation unless marriage was the topic. Being so young, marriage was a huge assumption during that time because you thought you would get to spend the rest of your life with him.
You were in love with him once, and the thought of seeing him again scares you. Not only because you are about to tell him something that you have no idea what his reaction will be, but that his reaction will be what will prompt whether you tell Mae the truth or not. Mae being front row in her teacher’s life, why would you want her to know who her father is if her father doesn’t accept her after all? What if he becomes so angry with you that he dismisses his own daughter? And do you blame him? Of course not. You hiding your daughter away from him is your mistake. Or was it really a mistake to begin with?
Guiltily, you know what you did was wrong. He was never the kind of person who would mistreat someone from what you remember, and in your heart, you know he would have been a great father. But it’s never too late. Mae is only seven years old. She still has her whole life ahead of her, so maybe… just maybe he will see past your betrayal and give Mae a chance to be in his life, but as her father, not her elementary school teacher. How is this even a possibility? You could kick yourself for not paying attention. It’s been a month and you still had no idea who Mae’s teacher was. But is this how it all was supposed to pan out?
When the school comes into sight, you brace yourself as you turn into the parking lot. You notice the buses are gone and the majority of the cars seen most likely belong to the teachers finishing out whatever paperwork they have on their desk. You wonder which car is his, and you choose a spot closest to the entrance. Even though the weather isn’t that chilly yet, your hands feel like ice, and as you robotically walk towards the building after exiting your car, you breathe in and out deeply before reaching the door.
The nerves are so strong, your head starts to ache, and embarrassingly, as Mae’s mother, you don’t even know where Mae’s classroom is. Someone in your peripherals must have noticed your confused state and approached, “Hello, I’m Hoseok, the assistant principal, do you need assistance?”
Jumping slightly, you hope he doesn’t notice the redness of your eyes from the crying, but you manage to steady yourself enough to force a smile. “Yes, I’m looking for my daughter’s classroom. I, um, have a meeting with her teacher.”
“Ah, of course! I hope it’s all good news to report. We are sending out their progress papers soon with their current grades, but if you have any further questions, you can contact her teacher via email. May I ask who it is?”
“Yes!” You appreciate his smile and his willingness to help, because you are so frazzled, you are shocked that you are speaking anything audibly. “Um, Mr. Park. Is he still in?” You try not to make it sound like a question to feel like you are a good mother for knowing, not really, who your daughter’s teacher is. Plus, you really are hoping he is still here.
“Right down this hallway to the left, classroom 58.” Hoseok points in the direction and you thank him profoundly for his help, clutching the strap of your purse while your mouth runs dry. The swarm of nerves in your stomach grows stronger to the point that you feel nauseous as you step down the hallway while your vision blurs with more tears.
C’mon, you can do this. You must do this. Mae deserves this. He deserves to know.
You pause when the number 58 above the door frame enters your line of vision, and you feel the ice of your hands start to frost your entire body. This is it; you exhale slowly, this is it. Stepping cautiously to the door that you see is wide open, you carefully peer in, your heart stopping as your fingers move to press against your trembling lips. He nonchalantly is shifting through a pile of papers, his expression concentrating as his cheek rests against his fist from how his elbow is leaned on the top of his desk.
He is exactly how you remember him except his hair is a tad longer, and his jawline is much sharper from aging into his mid-twenties. His thick lips are lined pleasantly in a faint grin and a Styrofoam cup rests diagonally from the papers. He still looks beautiful, so innocent. How could you have ever left him the way you did? Now, things are different, your heart belongs to someone else, and you hope he has his heart set on someone else too and if he does, will that person be accepting of his seven-year-old daughter? Or, that you are from his past and will now be his present if he does happen to accept his daughter once it is revealed to him? You honestly have no idea what to expect from any of this, but you check out his left hand to see that there is no wedding ring though that doesn’t always mean anything considering people forget or have lost jewelry of any kind before.
You know you can’t stand there staring at him forever, yet you genuinely don’t even know where to start, so you just… start.
“Jimin,” you say his name for the first time in years, and it sounds so bittersweet coming from your mouth. He lifts his head immediately to the sound of his name with an evident smile probably assuming you’re a coworker, and it takes him a few seconds to register exactly who he is seeing. Jimin’s eyes widen in profound astonishment as recognition forms in his expression, his mouth dropping open in silence.
Standing to his feet, he can hardly believe who he is staring at, and he refrains from rubbing his eyes. “Y/N? Is that… you?”
You can’t help the tears. Hot and streaming down your face, you sniffle while you try to nod and force a timid smile. “It is me, Jimin. How’ve… how’ve you been?”
Jimin’s expression shifts as he analyzes your words. Of all the things to say, after what felt like an eternity…you ask how he has been doing. In all honesty, he would have done the exact same thing.
When faced with the past, what else is there to say? There are missing pieces that need to be mended…but not all at once.
Jimin has to respond somehow.
“I don’t… I don’t even know where to begin, I’ve just been, well,” he has a hint of a nervous smile on his face, probably feeling just as awkward as you feel, and you are so overwhelmed by how kind he has remained all these years. Eventually he gestures with an arm toward the empty desks. “I’ve been- been working, but goodness, how long has it been? How are you doing?”
“I’m well,” you swipe a tear away knowing Jimin probably feels so helpless right now which makes you feel even worse. “I’ve gotten a new job not far from here, so… So, I came back to town.”
“Yeah, I-” Jimin stutters, trying to gather whatever words he can that make decent sentences, “I wondered where you went. I figured maybe a college farther away or if you decided to move with your dad. I never- I never knew where you decided to go in life.”
The prevalent question you know he wants to ask is how you found him since his longtime dream was originally to be a psychologist. He probably is wondering if you reconnected with Seokjin, but how would Seokjin and Jimin know that you were back? You still are under the assumption that they were never super close when you all were younger.
“I’m sorry, I know I should have told you what was happening… I just didn’t know how.” You choke, your eyes dropping to the floor still struggling on how you were going to continue this conversation.
“Come- come in, come in, have a seat,” Jimin gestures toward a chair off to the side that he shuffles to place in front of his desk. You reluctantly take a seat, clasping your fingers together tightly to fight off the trembling, and it mildly helps.
“Thank you,” you whisper, letting Jimin return to his seat across from you.
“Of course,” he replies gently, struggling to find a box of tissues, concern consuming his entire countenance. “What brings you by? Is everything…okay?”
“I…” This is so hard for you, and you know it is because there are no words to fully get anyone to understand why their child was kept from them especially when they haven’t done anything wrong to deserve that. “Jimin…” The tears return.
“Hey…” Jimin used to hold you so tight if you cried, like Seokjin would, but with seven years behind you, it’s pretty clear that Jimin wanting or considering holding you is long gone. Now, he is staring at you in confusion and probably seeing you as a long-lost stranger. “I know I ended up changing career paths, but something is definitely bothering you and the best advice I can give is to let it out.”
Wiping away another tear, you nod in agreement, sniffling before you can speak, “I know… I just never really prepared for what I’m about to tell you. It’s like… I knew this day was going to come but I just didn’t know when or… How.”
With furrowed eyebrows, Jimin leans his elbows on his desk, “What… Wait, y/n, what do you mean? Did something happen?”
Running a sour tongue over your lips, you exhale a slow breath, “Seven years ago, I discovered something and thought at the time I was making the right decision by… by not telling you.” You can’t meet his eyes. “You had so much going for you, Jimin, I was… I was so scared that if I told you what I had just found out that you would reject me… or reject her.”
Jimin’s folded hands gradually move to lay completely upon the desk, his mind is trying to make sense of what you just said, yet he can’t. And he tries to form words, but he is so rattled that he gives no choice other than to listen.
“Jimin,” you brace yourself as your body tense. “Jimin, I was pregnant.”
You can see the horrified shock in his eyes as they enlarge and the way his chest caves from the sudden blow of pain and confusion spreading all over his rigid posture. “You… were what?” His voice is so quiet, so shaky from this revelation that he can’t even meet your eyes either. “Y/N, what are you saying?” A sob chokes you as you reach to touch his hand, but he shoves your hand away. “You were what?”
“I left,” you say between the tears, “I left because I was pregnant. I know I should have told you, but I was so scared, Jimin, I didn’t know what to do- I couldn’t stand the thought of you giving up everything-”
Something is triggered in Jimin. Glass shatters in his heart. Broken. Broken and robbed is what he feels.
“But that wasn’t just your choice to make!” Jimin shoves his chair back as he rakes his hands roughly through his hair with so many emotions he could vomit.
“How could you keep this from me!? You mean all this time, losing sleep because I fucking lost you just to find out now that I had lost a child too!? My child. I have a… child, I-” His voice breaks as he tries to keep himself upright. You know he is angry, and he has every right to be. “How could you-!?”
You feel the weight of his anger. You deserve the weight of his anger. This is a piece of his life that was stripped away without his knowledge. It’s unfair to him. It’s unfair to Mae. You can’t possibly be upset with his response.
“I thought I was making the right decision, Jimin, I’m so sorry, I will spend the rest of my life being sorry, but I owe it to her. She asks about you. She wants to know who you are, and I know I waited so long, but Jimin…” You breathe, “She has your eyes. She has your smile-”
“And yet you kept her from me.” Jimin grits his teeth, fighting tears of his own as he hastily paces back and forth. “How could you-!?”
“Listen…I know what I did was wrong, and I don’t deserve any form of forgiveness from you. You can- you can hate me. Hate me as much as you want, but please, I am begging you to give her a chance to be yours, too.” You plea.
“Here-” Frantic, you fumble through your purse because you know exactly what you are looking for now. Your voice is ridden with despair and desperation to make things up to Mae, you unzip your wallet to the many small pictures you have kept over the years of Mae, and you find the most recent one where her toothy smile lights up the entire world.
Laying the picture on Jimin’s desk, you stand to your feet, “Her name is Mae. She is your daughter. And I’m so sorry that I ruined any chance of her getting to truly know you as her father.”
The pace of your heart quickens as you examine his features, waiting. You royally fucked up. You know it. But you owe it to them to try. To try again.
Jimin’s heart is shattering, and it’s written all over his scorned face as tears drip from his cheeks.
“I understand it may be too late. I may not know firsthand but…I can see how it would feel that way, but… She loved you even though she had no idea you were standing right in front of her.”
The lingering pause that followed was deafening. You were drowning in the tension and agony. What else did you expect? There are years of pain unfolding before him. What else can you do?
“I need….” Jimin’s lips tremble as he fixates on the picture of Mae. “Time…I need time to process. Please.”
You gnaw on your lower lip to refrain from crying. You understand his need for space. You respect that.
“Of course,” you whisper hoarsely.
And with that, you saunter out of the room, waiting until you are safe in your car to wail out the pain, not realizing that Jimin falls to his knees as he clutches the picture of the gift he had no idea he had.
His daughter. His daughter who he recognizes to be the sweet student that sits a few rows back whose assignment she wrote was a letter to her missing father:
Him.
Monnie clutches the rails of the hospital bed with gritted teeth as another contraction surges. The nurses rush in colorful blurs hooking up IV fluids, preparing for IV catheter placement, placing all the instruments and tools out for the doctor and who knows what else. Of course, Monnie is worried about her sister and the hell she is about to go through with Mae’s teach- father, but one thing is for sure, she wishes her husband and her mother would hurry the hell up.
“Breathe as steadily as you can,” Jeongguk, the male nurse, reminds her as she slams her eyes shut from the pain. She can’t even focus on the needle being inserted into her arm for the IV catheter placement, because the labor pains overshadow any other pain she has ever experienced. Despite it all, she is so ready to meet her baby boy. The absolute gift she cannot wait to share with her beloved husband and soon-to-be father of their child, Min Yoongi.
If only that curly headed ham would hurry up!
Palms slam against the sides of the door frame ahead after some time, prompting Monnie to lift her eyes to the silhouette, but she doubles over in brief disappointment because it’s not Yoongi, but another man that takes her a moment to recognize.
Wait a minute… Is that Seokjin? It has to be. He looks exactly like the picture in the yearbook that she saw earlier except his hair is longer and his face has matured from the boyish charm that showed in his high school portrait. He’s breathing as if he’s ran a mile, and his mouth is ajar while his chest swiftly moves in and out- in and out which disrupts the breathing pattern for Monnie unintentionally.
“Please tell me you’re my sister’s boyfriend,” she says through clenched teeth, but not in an angry way, just to keep herself from screaming with these darned contractions.
“I-” He wets his lips cautiously as if taken by surprise at first until a small smile becomes evident but only for a small moment as if he abruptly remembers where he is, “Where is she?”
“Not. Here.” Monnie tries so hard to speak clearly, and it’s obvious to Seokjin that she is doing her best and he doesn’t press further. Plus, Monnie doesn’t know how much he knows about your situation, so maybe telling him everything isn’t such a good idea. She doesn’t want to reveal too much about where you actually are.
“Is there anything I can do?” Monnie notices the nurses seem skeptical about Seokjin since he is not a relative, but Monnie waves an okay and appreciates Seokjin’s efforts at wanting to be of help. Especially, since she promised you that she’d take care of him when he arrived as well as Mae. Then, an idea strikes her.
“Actually...” She exhales slowly. “I need to make an excuse for Mae as to why her mom’s not here yet.”
She understands Seokjin’s confusion. Her sister called him and was not at the hospital when he arrived. And him suddenly meeting your sister who is in the process of preparing to give birth is an awkward way to meet for the first time.
“Okay,” Seokjin’s eyes show he’s trying to think of something, “Wha- what is her favorite fruit or snack? You can say she’s picking up something for you or- or for the baby-?”
“Yoongi loves tangerines.”
“Who-?” Seokjin’s lips form an O while his eyebrows scrunch.
“Just get me some tangerines. Who doesn’t love tangerin- AAGH-” Seokjin panics and helplessly takes his hands through his hair until Monnie recovers momentarily. “I’ll give you a cue somehow. I’ll say the word once after my husband, mom and niece arrive. Just keep your ears alive or y/n is gonna look real. Dumb.”
“Okay.” Seokjin nods once, stepping back immediately once his head jolts to see who is entering the hallway. “I won’t let you down.”
“Yep. That’s the spirit- AAGH-”
-
Mae nervously fidgets with a stuffed animal given to her by her grandma who is chirping with excitement despite Uncle Yoongi’s desperate voice as he speeds toward the hospital. Mae can’t help the anxious way she feels because she knows something big is about to happen. Aunt Monnie is going to have a baby. Mae is going to be a big cousin and despite her curious stares at the adults talking frantically in front of her as Uncle Yoongi drives- she is also excited. Inwardly, she wishes her mother could be with her, but she understands that you had to take your sister to the hospital.
Mae is unaware of how close they are to pulling into the parking lot of the facility, but once arrived, Grandma rushes to help her out of her seatbelt and Mae grips her hand as they follow a sprinting Yoongi into the hospital doors. “Is Mommy here yet?” Mae whispers, staring up at her grandma who catches her breath once reaching Yoongi.
She smiles reassuringly, “I’m sure she is here somewhere with your aunt and the baby. Don’t worry, Sweetheart.”
Mae can’t help it though. Sometimes her comfort is with you regardless. Either way, she doesn’t lose hold of her grandmother’s hand as the pair rush onto an elevator with Yoongi. His hands are jittery as he fumbles from putting them in his pockets versus running a hand through his hair. He is so ready to be with his wife and soon to be son he can hardly concentrate.
Mae smiles to herself in excitement, until she notices a young couple exiting the elevator she was about to enter. In the father’s arms is a car seat where the sweetest little bundle of joy is currently sleeping. The father has a glow in his eyes as he gazes constantly at the baby and over at his wife. He gazes at her in appreciation of the life she has given. Mae captures this encounter for a brief few seconds before losing sight of them behind the closed doors. The prior excitement subsides. What remains is an overwhelming sadness. Would her dad have been this excited about her being born? Would he have looked at her in the same way that father just did?
A big piece of her heart was missing.
The ding of the elevator distracts Mae momentarily and the three exit the doors and into the hallway.
For a brief moment, Mae’s eyebrows furrow when she recognizes the man who had visited Mr. Park earlier today. What was he doing at the hospital? Is he okay? The man’s hair seems ruffled, and his mouth is ajar as he looks around as if trying to find something… Or someone. Could he be looking for lost treasure? Mae wonders- her favorite fairy tales that she has seen countless times help create a story in her mind as she watches him eventually settle on a bench that happens to be right in front of the door Uncle Yoongi rushes into.
“Who is that man?” Mae murmurs to her grandma who follows her gaze.
“Hm,” Grandma harrumphs, tilting her head as if some recognition forms on her face. “He seems healthy. Let’s go see how your Aunt Monnie is doing.”
When Mae sees Aunt Monnie, she looks around for a baby but learns that he has not arrived just yet. Damp hair covers the sides of Monnie’s forehead as she tries to suppress the pain as much as she can. Uncle Yoongi is comforting her to the best of his ability, and he squeezes Monnie’s hand while she breathes slow and steady breaths in between. Mae also notices the nurses rushing to get everything prepared, but… where are you?
“Where’s mommy? And, where’s my cousin?”
“I’m sure she will be here soon. Maybe she went to the bathroom? And oh, silly girl, babies take time entering the world. He will be here soon enough I promise.”
Mae meets Aunt Monnie’s eyes in widened astonishment as kids do when they seem to understand the seriousness of whatever situation they are about to witness. “Hey there, Mae,” Aunt Monnie’s voice is thickened with discomfort, but she tries to force a smile through the sheer pain of labor. “Your mom will be on her way soon. I made her go… pick up some tangerines.” She tries to raise her voice loud enough as if to capture someone’s attention.
“Tangerines?”
Mae notices the utterly confused look on Yoongi’s face as well as the ajar mouth of questioning that drops open from her grandmother, but it seems Aunt Monnie shares a look of ‘will explain later’ although Mae is too young to understand exactly what that could mean in adult language.
And apparently, Mae is way too young to be watching a woman give birth, so eventually her and her grandmother return to the hallway where Mae notices the man she noticed earlier is still here.
More questions spin in her mind as she watches him, but she also tries to keep herself preoccupied by clutching the stuffed animal closer to her side. Grandma moves her hand to her shoulder.
“Your mother should be here soon. And then once she is, we will get to meet your cousin. Are you excited?”
“Very excited. I didn’t even know babies could have tangerines.” Mae smiles wide despite being nervous, and she hugs her grandma, anticipatingly waiting not only for her cousin to make his appearance, but to also finally get to be by your side during this celebration with a bag full of one of her favorite fruits.
-
It’s the determination. Bursting through the doors of the hospital with fresh, warm tear stains and hardly a moment to figure out how to audibly ask which room your sister was taken to before you left. Memories of the ceiling and you being rushed to a room spark as well as the intense burn of contractions while you gripped whatever you could with clenched teeth. The desperate way you felt to bring this little life into the world was all you could think about as well as the excitement of finally getting to hold her in your arms. Now, it’s your sister’s turn to experience the endless joy of becoming a mother.
Aside from the determination, it’s the devastation swarming your chest in powerful waves for the betrayal you have revealed, and the forgiveness you hope your daughter will give you over time once the truth is finally brought to light. The truth Mae has been wishing for since the day she understood she had a father out there somewhere. Little did Mae know, her father would unintentionally find her, and now it is your mission and priority to bring them together no matter what it takes.
Jimin asked for time, and time will be what you give him. For Mae, her time to know is now because not only did you rob Jimin from his daughter, but you also robbed your daughter from having a father. Even if neither of them ultimately forgives you, how can you blame them? You are going to have to battle forgiving yourself just as much.
Mae’s face is all you can see as you jog to the nearest elevator and the agonizing slow pace of reaching the level your sister’s room is nearly smothers you in panic. Wanting to see your daughter is all you care about aside from meeting your nephew and seeing the man you have fallen in love with who has no idea of where you just were. It's all too much, but if you can just get to your daughter, you will be okay again.
“Mommy!” Her voice shouts in exhilaration when she sees your running frame enter the hallway. Smiling with more tears blurring your vision, her outspread arms rush toward you until you are holding her so close, your heart swells at her giggles muffling into your shoulder. “There you are!”
Mae’s stuffed animal squishes against you too but you don’t even dare to let your daughter go.
“I love you so much,” you cry, pulling away to peck all over her chubby cheeks as she laughs a tad louder.
“Mommy!” She pulls away slightly, kissing you sweetly on your cheek. “I just saw you this morning!”
“I know, but it feels like ten long, horrendous years.” You swipe at a tear on your cheek as you squeeze her one more time. To your surprise, Mae looks around you and your hands as if she is confused. “Is something wrong, baby?”
“Where’s? Where’s the tangerines?”
Now it’s your turn to be confused as you open and shut your mouth multiple times before hearing the light chuckle of your mom who steps closer not wanting to initially interrupt you reuniting with your daughter before getting an update on your sister.
“Monnie said she sent you to pick up tangerines.” Your mother winks once you realize with a mouthed ‘Oh’ that your sister was covering for you. Which then brings the sharp stab of guilt at the thought of Jimin and the pain you caused him. And the even deeper stab being that your daughter has no idea that you just met with her father who has been her teacher this entire time.
Before you can even figure out how to put your stammering words together to come up with even the slightest excuse, a bag of tangerines dangle in your vision where your gaze slides from the bag to the handsome broad shoulders and face of Kim Seokjin.
“Did somebody say tangerines? I saw you accidentally drop them earlier when I was coming from the cafeteria. Figured I’d return them to their rightful owner.”
The warmth that replaces the sadness from a second ago is enough to make you want to jump into his arms as his lips quirk into a sweet smile. You know good and damn well that this man went out of his way to pick up these tangerines from God knows where, but how did he even know to get them in the first place? He must have overheard Monnie’s explanation to Mae? Knowing Mae and how much she loves to ask questions sometimes, maybe she asked them, and he happened to be in the vicinity? Whatever the case, you are beyond thankful for him stepping in. ‘Thank you,’ you mouth toward him while Mae jumps in enthusiasm.
“You’re the man who visited Mr. Park earlier!” Mae exclaims, which makes you cock an eyebrow in surprise. Jin was with Jimin earlier? But then, the next thought makes you cringe because Mae just referred to her father as Mr. Park- not that she knows of course, but it brings back the guilt all the same. Your plan to tell Mae needs to be soon, but at what moment will be the right time?
Seokjin laughs as if he is embarrassed because now you are aware that he visited Jimin earlier and knows you are going to want an explanation even though he doesn’t necessarily owe you one. It’s not like he knew that Jimin didn’t know he had a daughter unless it was that obvious. Honestly, all these anxious cycles of questions are making your head feel heavy, and no matter what, you hope for a positive outcome for everyone.
“Why yes, I was.” Seokjin says, looking at Mae, “He is a great fella. Me, him, and your mom go way back.” Oh shit.
Seokjin, realizing he may have said too much, locks eyes with you as your heart nearly plummets to the ground in fear. Your mother is oblivious to the whole scene as she keeps her eyes toward the door of Monnie’s room where the doctor has hopefully begun checking Monnie’s dilation. As much as you want your focus to be solely on your sister and the baby, it seems like everything unfolding is keeping you from doing so.
“You know Mr. Park, too, Mommy?” Mae asks innocently.
One thing Mae does know is that you have not met her teacher yet because her aunt and uncle are the ones who took her to the open house and have helped take her to school while you started your new job. Clutching the side of your purse that nestles the picture of you and Jimin, you try to swallow the dry lump in your throat. Seokjin seems as though he wants to kick himself, but none of this is anywhere near his fault. You are the reason this is happening the way it is happening. You are the one who chose to flee from the man who gave you this precious, little girl whom you love more than anything in this entire world. Now, there is a choice that is being presented to you. Struggling with what to do, the stifled shout of a deep voice turns everyone's head toward the door housing Monnie, Yoongi and a medical team which causes all of you to rush with pressed ears to hear what could be happening.
“PUSH!” And with sheer elation, everyone holds their breaths as they know now is the time for Monnie’s baby boy to enter the world. Your hand finds Mae’s as the large, warm hand of Seokjin squeezes your shoulder- his other hand still clutching the bag of tangerines. You’ll kiss him really good later for that one, but for now, your brain is fully devoted to your baby nephew and your trooper of a sister. Sharing delightful giggles with your mother, it’s amazing how a baby can bring a family together in the most serene way.
By the time everything starts falling into place, you and Mae share a happy look as you follow your mother into the hospital room where your sister with teary eyes holds a blue blanket wrapped around the tiny body of her and Yoongi’s baby boy. Mae skips to the bed rails where her small hands hold tightly- her sweet eyes glued to the baby as she gasps in awe.
“He’s so… perfect,” she whispers while Monnie and Yoongi share emotional smiles.
“Just like you,” Monnie holds Mae’s gaze as she reaches a free hand to brush the back of Mae’s knuckles. “Absolutely just like you.”
You’re frozen in place at the beautiful scene- Seokjin’s hand on your back keeps you steady but there is no stopping the silent tears as they drip down your cheeks. He is beautiful. The sweet bundle of joy and happiness making two people you love parents and the absolute unconditional love already pouring from Yoongi and Monnie. This moment will be burned in your memory forever. A moment you wish you could have shared with Jimin.
“What’s his name?” Mae asks quietly, still in her childlike trance.
“Sammy,” Monnie replies, tilting her head to look into her husband’s eyes. “His name is Sammy.”
As the night continues, everyone gets a chance to hold Sammy while pictures are taken from left to right. You even include a swift introduction of Seokjin, whom Monnie briefly met before Yoongi arrived as you learned since Seokjin booked it to the hospital after you called. When it comes to Mae’s turn to hold Sammy, you have to restrain from crying even more at how you fall in love with the thrill in her countenance as her small legs kick after taking a seat, reaching her arms out to welcome him.
“He’s so heavy!” She exclaims as a chorus of laughter echoes within the room.
“Yeah!” Monnie says with teasing eyes, “Imagine how long I had to carry that bun.”
“And then push it out,” your mom elbows Monnie’s shoulder with a wink.
“Oh Lord,” you playfully roll your eyes, “Let’s not teach my child health class too early. I’m not ready for her to grow up.” You mutter to yourself spinning to take more pictures of your daughter holding your newborn nephew. Seokjin offers after an hour and a half of the family visiting Sammy, to take your mother home since you want to spend more time with your daughter and your sister. Your mother’s droopy eyes want to decline, but Monnie insists that she get some rest with her old age.
“I’m not as old as you think. Just you wait. You’re gonna wish you had the spunk I have.”
“The spunk left the trunk in 1976.” Monnie teases prompting a glare from your mother, but you also know Monnie was always closer to your father even after your parents divorced.
“I’ll have you know that your father loved my spunk, why else do you exist?”
Chorus of laughter turns into groaning; you leave Mae with your sister and brother-in-law briefly as you follow Seokjin and your mother out in the hallway. Whether it’s impeccable timing, your mother gets a phone call and starts exhaustingly yapping to whoever it is, giving you a few minutes to talk to Seokjin.
“Thank you again,” you say as he pauses in front of you, staring into your soul with the kindest eyes you have ever seen, yet there is a look of distance that you catch.
“Anytime,” he says. If your mother wasn’t standing right there, you would have kissed him so hard on the mouth, but instead, you reach up just to give him a quick peck on his cheek. “Now you keep my mother safe. She’s a bit crazy.”
“I remember,” he chuckles, pulling you in for a hug. Taking him in, you are so thankful for the man he has always been and the rock you have always needed. How did you make it seven years without him? How was that even possible? He moves his mouth closer to your ear causing pleasurable shivers along your skin.
“He was always my friend.” Your auditory senses perk at his words as your heart skips a beat. “And I realized that I didn’t know he had a daughter because he didn’t know he had a daughter.” Squeezing you tightly one more time, you feel the lump in your throat again. “I know you will do the right thing.” And with that, Seokjin pulls away, holding your eyes before lightly pinching your chin with his fingers. He wasn’t saying goodbye, but you can tell from the sadness etched in his gaze that he wants you to make things right before being with him.
“Jin… I-”
“You’ll do the right thing. It may not feel like it now, but you will make things right because that’s the kind of person you are.” Leaning forward, he presses a slow, warm kiss to your lips causing fireworks to spark deep within your chest. Breathless, even from the simplicity of the kiss, he pulls away slightly to meet your eyes, “I love you,” he whispers, “And I always will.”
Words are taken from you as you stiffly watch him reach a hand for your mother’s shoulder to lead her toward the elevators, him holding your gape before stepping on officially. Your mother is still smiling into the phone, not aware of what happened between you and Seokjin, and your heart is pounding profusely through your temples. Seokjin loves you. He just said he loves you. You didn’t have a second to say it back because you are too stunned to even exhale.
You are uncertain of how long you stand there in the hallway rigid with surprise. Breathing deeply until your shaky hands have settled, you know what you need to do. Turning slowly, you walk into the dimly lit hospital room where you see Yoongi laying next to Monnie, staring down at their son who is now their pride and joy. The exact look you gave Mae after she was born and the same look that will never die. Flitting your vision, you find Mae sitting on one of the cushions laid out for anyone who decides to stay the night with their loved one and sitting there, staring back at you, is your purse that holds the answer Mae has been waiting for as well as an opened bag of tangerines. Stepping softly, you take a seat next to your daughter wrapping a gentle arm around her.
“I think your cousin loves you so much already.” You coo, kissing the side of her forehead. Mae continues to watch her cousin, her smile remaining planted on her bright expression. “You are going to be the best cousin ever, and I know you will let him know it.”
“Thank you, Mommy.” She sighs dreamily. “Today has been a good day.”
“I’m so glad.” You murmur, watching the interaction between your sister and her little family. Of course, you know what you need to do, but would it continue to make Mae’s day better? Or will this good day Mae says it will come crashing and burning if you reveal the truth? There is an urge or a strong pounding of your heart that this is it. This is the time to tell Mae about her father, but are there words to even begin?
You let the minutes pass by slowly, giving some time to settle until you gather your words. Your fingers have already run through your daughter’s long hair before you speak softly.
“Mae, I just want you to know that you are the best thing to ever happen to me.” Mae looks up at you with softened eyes. “And you always will be no matter what… There is also someone who deserves to know you just as much as I do. And though it may take time, I know you will be the best thing to ever happen to him as well.”
Mae’s eyes widen when realization dawns on her, yet she holds the question evident in her expression. “I’m really sorry…” You choke back a sob, “I’m really sorry that I never told you sooner, and I will live the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. And to your father if he lets me.”
Reaching for your purse, you find the pocket that holds the folded picture of you and Mae’s father and once it is securely gripped between your fingertips, you lift it into you and Mae’s line of vision. Her eyes immediately glue to the folded picture as she anxiously swallows.
“I love you, Mae.” You whisper and you unfold the picture, exposing the truth you thought you could keep hidden, but instead, the heavy burden you’ve buried lifts from your heart and shoulders as the opened picture brings closure to the young girl staring back at it.
There is no anger in her eyes. No hatred for being left in the dark. Instead, she is overcome by all consuming joy. She has a father. This whole time she has been in the same room as him. A man so kind. The years as a younger girl that may have been shattered are now slowly healing. Being so little can mean that it is difficult to express her true emotions. Except it’s all right there in her eyes.
Mae has a father, and she couldn’t be more at peace.
Two months later…
“Okay, just remember that she absolutely loves ice cream, but don’t let her eat too much!” You stress as you hold your hands out, “It sometimes upsets her stomach, so just let her have maximum two scoops and that’s it-”
“Y/N,” Jimin chuckles as he gives you a pointed look, resting his hands on his hips. “How many times have I told you that I know this? You’ve told me-”
“Countless times, I know,” you groan, running your palms over your face. “I’m sorry, I’m still not used to no longer being a single parent. Sharing is hard.”
“And I understand that completely, but you also must remember that she is my daughter, too.” A side grin tugs at his thick lips as the screen door remains stopped by his elbow.
“Dad, c’mon! We’re gonna be late!” Mae drones from the passenger side of his car, her excitement exuberant and her nonstop conversation of another adventure with her dad is all she has been talking about since Jimin made the decision to officially be in his daughter’s life. It didn’t take much time- only a week and Mae willingly switched classrooms and slowly became introduced into Jimin’s life. His tears were endless the day he wrapped his arms around her for the first time, nearly falling to his knees while she buried her face into his shoulder. Mae finally found her father. And, two months later, it has been continuous adventures: Jimin and his little sidekick, Mae.
“I’m coming, Kiddo!” He laughs, returning to face you while he shakes his head teasingly. “The punctuality she gets from me.”
You scoff, “Excuse you.”
“It’s true and you know it.”
Your eyes soften at the man before you. Uncrossing your arms, you reach to hug him. Tightly. Every ounce of thankfulness, happiness, sorrow, guilt, any emotion that exists is held within this hug as you feel his arms completing the embrace. He feels the emotions, too. He is taking this all in, too.
“You are also an amazing father,” you whisper as tears brim. “Thank you so much for choosing her.”
He squeezes you close one more time before pulling away. “I will always choose her.”
There will never be a relationship again, but the parental bond you two will share is everything you could have asked for. Wiping at a tear that escaped, Jimin nods his farewell before sprinting to the driver’s side of his car. Laughing hysterically at Mae, who must have made a pouty joke, you watch in pride as your daughter smiling with glee, shoves her father’s shoulder as he backs out of the driveway to head to Mae’s favorite ice cream shop. You never imagined the day would come, but you have all the gratefulness in the world that it did. Your daughter is complete. The father of your daughter is complete. Your family is complete.
There’s just one more thing you have to do.
Rushing to grab your keys, you slip on a pair of shoes and sprint to your car after locking up the house. You know who you are about to visit is off today, and you happened to take some time off to be with your daughter before she stays with her dad for the weekend. It doesn’t take long until you see the familiar road that will bring you to the one who made you whole aside from your daughter, and the second you pull into his driveway, you run a hand through your hair letting a long, jittery sigh escape.
Clearing your throat, you rush out of your car and saunter to his front door, keeping a hand on your stomach from the slight nausea wanting to rear its head. There has been some communication on and off throughout the past couple months, but there is something you have been wanting to tell him ever since the two of you reconnected.
Ringing the doorbell, you run quivering palms over your clothes, and when the click of the door opens, your heart halts at meeting his surprised eyes.
“Jin!” You say faster with a gust of excitement than you anticipate, so you clear your throat again before continuing. “I’m sorry, I just… I needed to see you.”
Slowly stepping forward, Seokjin steadily places a warm hand to your cheek where his thumb strokes your skin so softly it's as if you are in a dream. Yet, your eyes never leave his gentle, brown irises as tears fill his eyes. He’s missed you. He’s missed you so much and he has never stopped waiting on you and the woman he knew you would and have become.
“I love you, too.” You breathe, letting the words sink in before Seokjin’s lips crash to yours. Now that life seems to be exactly where it’s supposed to be- the way it should be, now even you feel complete. The emptiness fled once the truth was told, and now you can happily be in the arms of Kim Seokjin while your daughter gets to learn about the father she’s always wanted to know.
Wrapping your arms behind Seokjin’s shoulders, you let him whisk you away into happiness, because now you can finally allow yourself to feel it.
#btswritingcafe#bts fanfic#bts#bts fanfiction#kim seokjin#bts jin#bts kim seokjin#seokjin smut#seokjin fluff#bts angst#bts smut#seokjin fic#min yoongi#jung hoseok#kim namjoon#park jimin#kim taehyung#jeon jeongguk#seokjin x reader#seokjin x you#bts fluff#bts jin#bts seokjin#bts fic
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In 2020 my daughter (then 13) told me she had been looking at some stuff and she thought she might have ADHD. I had not considered this possibility before she brought it up, but with about 5 minutes of reflection, it made sense. We were already running on the assumption that my husband (her dad) has ADHD and our home had a lot of adhd-friendly ways of doing life and honestly some signs (time blindness, fidgeting, hobby-hopping, distraction) were overlooked.
Being that it was 2020, everything was slowed down and backed up, but being people with privilege, we were able to pay for a private psychologist to do a full assessment. It took about 3 months and ended up with a generalized anxiety disorder diagnosis and an evaluation that boiled down to "she probably has ADHD but she does really well in school so deal with the anxiety first and see if that fixes things". Took that to our GP, who basically said "I don't know what to do with this" and prescribed Prozac, which increased her anxiety so we stopped it and asked for a referral to a psychiatrist.
It took almost 18 months to get the appointment - meanwhile she had no supports, no treatment, and no follow up from her GP. At that appointment, the Dr revised her diagnosis - she absolutely has ADHD, but she's good at school, so no need to treat it. However, because she didn't respond well to the prozac and she "gets really sad sometimes" (that was actually the question he asked, no probing, or clarifying, just "do you feel really sad sometimes", to a 15 year old!), prescribed a mood stabilizer because she might have a mood disorder (bi-polar disorder). My husband (who was there for the appointment - I wasn't able to go) was so shocked and confused he just said thank you and left.
We did not fill the prescription for the mood stabilizer. No issues with taking medication when needed, but she showed no signs of excessive mood swings - she had also just had her first break up a couple weeks before the appointment. While waiting for the follow up (where I planned to advocate for treatment for the actual thing he said she had, not the theoretical maybe thing she might struggle with) I saw ads for a private clinic specifically for ADHD diagnosis and treatment. I was nervous - I've got medical trauma (it comes with chronic illness) and did not want to be seen as shopping around for pills for my kid, or ignoring medical advice, or any of the other things that would make getting her treatment more difficult.
So my husband went first - made an appointment, filled out the forms, got a diagnosis and treatment plan. It was so easy and affirming and validating for him, and since starting the treatment he's been so relaxed! He might also be able to stop his anxiety meds (he also has a GAD diagnosis, which might be wrong based on how inattentive type ADHD works).
My daughter had her first appointment this week, it felt so good. She was heard and understood. Her experience and struggles weren't overlooked. She was validated. The NP doing the appointment even mentioned how it's harder for intelligent kids to get diagnosed because they are able to mask so well and too many people just look at school performance. She has a follow up next week to go over a treatment plan. The NP even said she would look at medications not in pill form as my daughter has issues swallowing pills.
I can't express how excited I am. She's 16 now, in grade 11, and things have been so much harder on her in the last year. I'm hopeful that between the treatment plan and coaching, the transition to university will be gentle and she won't face the same breakdown so many people (especially women) with ADHD go through in early adulthood. I'm hopeful this will help her to see her strengths and to not feel so overwhelmed and broken most of the time.
It took far too long and was much more difficult (and expensive!!!!) than it should have been to get to this point, but I am so glad we have a plan now and that she feels good about it!
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I hope the original nonnie doesn't mind me using their singledad!Price x Daughter's Former Teacher prompt because this was too good to pass up... and I wanted something to procrastinate studying with: (fem! reader, no y/n)
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It wasn't really something Price expected. When his daughter insisted on having her favorite food for dinner, how could he say no? She had just started her new school year and, while she liked her new teacher a lot, she missed her teacher from last year.
It broke his heart at the end of the school year when she was damn near inconsolable at the realization that she wouldn't get to go to your class every day. When she so sweetly asked to go to the shop and get the ingredients for the recipe you taught her class last year, how could he have denied her?
How could he have expected his darling girl to run off immediately after entering the store? He called her name, chasing after her. When he caught up, his eyes trailed upwards from his daughter's form, from the simple but stylish shoes, following the (very-well shaped) legs she was hugging so tightly and found that his eyes landed on your face.
Good god, how have you gotten prettier since he last saw you?
You smiled at him while your hand softly rested on his daughter's shoulders. He felt like his ears had water in them as he listened to you gently remind her, "You know better than to run from your father, hmm? So let's be more careful next time, no matter how excited you are to see me, lovely girl."
He could only pat and stroke his daughter's head as she came to hug his legs and apologize, while his heart felt like it was going into cardiac arrest at the sight of his most precious girl and her former teacher. He'd, arguably, had a fondness and interest in you since last year but didn't (and couldn't) bare to bring himself to bring your parent-teacher relationship into something more.
"It's nice to see you again, Mr. Price," You said, gripping your shopper's tote on your shoulder. Price nodded, "You as well."
"Miss! Guess what we're here for." His daughter said. "Hmm? What is it, lovely girl?" Price had to hold back a groan. Something almost primal in the back of his mind was satisfied at seeing the interaction between you and his daughter.
Apparently, while he had been lost in his head, absorbed in how you interacted so gently, so caringly... almost mothering his girl like she was yours... his daughter had invited her old teacher to their home. Fuck.
Price nodded and flashed a quick smile, "You're welcomed to join us, but if you've already got plans-" "No, that's alright!" You quickly interjected, "I've got nothing else planned except for grading and planning out lessons."
Price couldn't help the words that slipped out next, "Nobody waiting on you?" Heat came to your cheeks, and you looked almost… bashful as both hands came to hold the shopper's tote tighter in front of you. Then, finally, you shook your head, "No. I have nobody waiting on me." Price's heart jumped at the insinuation.
His daughter, impatient at how long the conversation was taking, jumped in. "Okay! Our house tonight at 6, Miss!" She turned to Price, "Papa, you should give Miss your number so you can text her our address!"
Price swallowed hard. He was good at adapting and handling things moving too quickly, but his head felt like he was swimming in molasses. As you handed back his phone, his fingers lightly brushed yours. You smiled as you turned to finish your shopping, "I'll see you both tonight then."
Price lifted a single hand, holding it in the air as his daughter happily waved you off.
And if anyone noticed, he would vehemently deny that he was looking at how your clothes fit you and how your hips swayed as you walked away from the father-daughter duo. (He was looking at your ass, but that's his secret to keep).
this is soo cute!!!!!!! 🖤🖤🖤😭
i read it so many times (which is why it took me so long to post it), and it's so good!! i'm in love 🥰
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I’ll See You Tomorrow Morning
cw: fluff and smut
read on ao3
It was a day that was many weeks in the making.
as much as they loved their lives—having kids and jobs that they loved—they would be lying if there weren’t some downsides.
one of the biggest downsides; their every conflicting work schedules.
it was a conscious choice that they made after adopting their first daughter. she was only two when she came to live with them, and given her age and the difficult adjustment period that comes with any adopted child, they thought it would be best that they didn’t leave her with any strangers. so, billy switched to the evening shift at the auto shop, because it wasn’t like steve could change his hours as a third grade teacher.
billy also worked weekends. his days off were during the week while steve was at work, and as a result…time seemed to just slip away from them.
it wasn’t like they never saw each other. billy would always still be at home when steve was done at the school. they always had dinner together as a family. it was just that dinners in the harrington-hargrove house happened at four in the afternoon.
they also saw each other in the mornings and at night. neither of them ever made it through a full eight hours of sleep, because billy never went to sleep before telling steve goodnight, and steve never left the house without telling billy good morning.
they had their days off too, where at least half of their days were spent with each other. they savored each hour they had together like it would be their last. however, with one kid having turned itself into three, most of their time together was spent chasing them around the house.
so time continued to slip by, and it never really dawned on them just how much their sex life suffered because of it. it was funny to think about, especially considering that day they first walked into the adoption agency and billy picked up a pamphlet for “how to maintain a healthy sex life while raising a family” and one of the employees looking over his shoulder scoffed. “I can answer that right here for you. you don’t.” billy rolled his eyes, assuming the woman was just talking out of her ass. “not us” they had both agreed.
well. the thing was, it wasn’t like they weren’t having sex. the sex was just limited to the two and seven am quickies they managed to sneak in when billy got home or steve left for work. it was fine for a while…but they were missing something…
but by some grace of an angel answering a prayer that hadn’t really been sent, steve’s mom had called up the house on a monday afternoon, asking if it would be alright if she drove down and took the kids out for the day.
steve had never said yes so fast.
and billy, well, he knew he was saving up all that vacation time for a reason.
it was saturday, and the two of them stood together on the front porch as they watched steve’s mom pull out of the driveway in a car full of hyper little sugar monsters (billy told her not to give them candy before noon).
but, they were her problem now, and the very second the car was out of sight, the two of them bolted inside the house.
they had been talking about it the whole week leading up to it. each quickie they managed to squeeze in was ten times better than usual by just talking about what they’d do when the week was up.
steve, kissing billy’s ear as he thrusted into billy, “just think about how much better this’ll be when I’m able to take my time with you.”
“mmm we’re gonna go all day long baby. all day long.”
“gotta make up for lost time baby.”
it was suffice to say that the two of them were acting like six year olds counting down the days until christmas.
the second they closed their bedroom door, the immediately started stripping each other of their clothes. they were all over each other like animals, billy putting his mouth on whatever open area of skin he could find on steve’s body. kissing his shoulder and his neck and his lips and trailing down the length of his chest until steve’s pants were on the floor. kissing the inside of his thighs while he relished the feeling of steve’s hand in his hair—not pulling, massaging.
billy pushed steve back onto the bed, laying horizontally on top of him and practically making love to the space between steve’s thighs, leaving hickies, licking him, sucking him off until steve was hard and yearning for more.
and then steve rolled the both of them over, billy now the one on his back, steve finally taking charge as the one loving on billy—pressing chest against chest while kissing like their mouths held the oxygen they breathe, steve with a trailing hand and fingers already slick with lube sliding in and out of billy. steve milking each and every one of billy’s desperate moans.
they never got to prep like this before. billy always prepped himself in the shower before getting into bed, making their quickies all the more quicker, because as much as they were still horny like teenagers, yawning during sex wasn’t particularly sexy to either of them.
but steve said he would take his time, and that he did. he knew billy was impatient, especially after nearly four years of getting it whenever and as fast as they could. billy shuddered under ever crook of steve’s finger, and every little tease against his dick as steve ground down on him. billy was impatient, yes, but he made no attempt to tell steve to speed up. all he would say was
“keep going.” panting, sweating, hot, and oh so delirious with pleasure.
and billy was doing what he did best too; keeping steve’s mouth on his, using his tongue as the pen to write a love poem on the inside of steve’s mouth. he had his hand cradling the nape of steve’s neck, keeping him close and sunk down against him, making sure the heat between their bodies couldn’t possibly escape.
steve was four fingers deep inside of billy when he felt that he was finally ready, energy already spent and they hadn’t even started fucking.
billy didn’t let up on his hold against steve, keeping him right where he wanted him like he was precious property. steve was happy to stay put. he was happy to have steve’s mouth on him. he’d never pull away if he didn’t have to. he kept the upper half of him where it was wanted, and worked his bottom half into a more comfortable position. he kicked billy’s knees further apart, and whether it was muscle memory or just another way to keep steve exactly where he was wanted—not that it mattered—billy lifted his legs and wrapped them around steve’s waist, locking his ankles.
steve was slow with his entrance, but the second he’d breached billy’s hole, they were both desperately moaning into each other’s mouths.
billy’s body had gone slack, causing his hold against steve to release just enough that he could get a better look at the gorgeous human being laying beneath him. billy with his gorgeous blue irises glistening underneath stray pleasure tears and his faded freckles that you could only ever see up close. billy and his long blonde hair splayed against the pillow, still sporting a mullet all the way into the next millennium. the blonde hair that was sprinkled with touches of gray that billy would refuse to admit were there, but steve couldn’t help but look at it fondly as it was proof that their teenage fantasies were becoming reality.
“I wanna grow old with you steve harrington.”
steve smiled at the memory.
“god you’re so gorgeous like this baby.” he said, and billy just whimpered below him, but found the strength to bring his hand back up again to cradle steve’s cheek, gently rubbing circles with his thumb.
“I love you, bambi.”
“love you too baby.”
the whole thing was sensual, sweet, and slow. It was hot, steamy, and chest heaving. it was everything.
“mmm close steve.”
steve barely registered what he’d said, just giving billy a nod because so was he. and he could feel billy’s dick twitching against his belly, and he could feel the wetness of the leaking pre.
and steve, well, he felt like his legs were ready to buckle any second. the felt like jelly, tingling.
“gonna come.” steve said, and billy just responded with another kiss.
come for me was what the kiss said.
he was. he did. and so was billy and maybe they were both going crazy but they would both tell each other afterwards that they could see a rainbow of fireworks shooting off before their eyes and popping in their ears.
steve rolled over like a rag doll beside billy, the exhaustion not truly hitting him until his head had made contact with the pillow. all he could do was roll his head to the side to look over at billy, whose chest was heaving up and down and sweat was dripping from his brow.
“wow.” billy said with a weak breath. “that was—”
“—awesome.” they both said it at the same time. then they both laughed. like teenagers again, calling it awesome. it was a good word. it worked well. it fit.
“wanna go again?” billy asked.
that was the plan after all. go until the kids start knocking on the door.
but perhaps that was a dream that was better left in their teenage years.
“honestly?” steve said, rolling over and snuggling into billy’s side, pressing a kiss to his neck. “I’d honestly rather just lay here all day with you.”
“oh thank god,” we’re the words that came out of billy’s mouth, it was a sigh of relief, “I’m fucking exhausted.”
steve just nuzzled into billy. “me too.”
so that was what they did. it was only ten in the morning, the kids hadn’t even been gone for an hour. they just turned on the tv and lounged around in bed all day and they wouldn’t have had it any other way.
it was better than the sex.
billy was right to scoff at that employee down at the adoption agency. their sex life was just fine. it was great, even.
even better, though, their love life was even stronger.
two years down the line, their youngest was finally in school, and billy was finally able to switch back to the day shift.
and their sex life only got stronger after that. sure, they definitely weren’t going at it like bunnies like they used to, but they still knew how to make the other person feel good. they were always sure to set aside time just for themselves to have sex (or just lay in bed all day).
and they were happy.
they didn’t need no stinkin’ pamphlet.
#harringrove#billy hargrove#steve harrington#stranger things#lemon#mandi writes tresh#this was supposed to be just a short little headcanon but when have I ever been able to follow through with that plan?
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( laura harrier. cis woman. she/her. ) ⸺ 🦬 greetings, buffalos ! walking around campus, sporting her untrustworthy smirk we’ve spotted VANITY RYMES, a thirty year old who contributes to our thriving community as an armorer. according to our intel, they’ve been around the sanctuary for three years and what we know about her, aside from the fact that they DON'T agree with the decision to close the gates, is that she aspires to become the gunsmith but is not considered responsible enough to do so; she grew up in a small town in Alabama, and learnt how to hunt with her dad and older brothers from a young age ; she’s an adrenaline junkie and doesn’t mind putting her life at risk . doesn’t that make them fantastic ? we think it does, and that’s why we appreciate her so much, grateful for what they give to our community.
name: Vanity Rymes
nicknames: Vee, Rymes
age: thirty
gender: cis woman
sexuality: bisexual
occupation: armorer
+ traits: skilled, good-humored, resilient
- traits: unreliable, impulsive, uncommitted
aesthetic: the smell of gunpowder, leaning the chair back almost to the point of falling, the smile of someone who knows something you don’t, cheap wine in an unmarked bottle, military green, undone worksheets.
I.
Vanity was the last child of Ernest Rymes, the only daughter out of the three he had. As a child, she liked toy cars, watching t.v. and causing mayhem. The teachers said that she was smart enough, but her grades would’ve greatly improved had she not spent her whole time at school causing trouble. Most of them saw in her behavior a call for attention; her mother appeared once every few months, without any real explanation of where she had been nor how long she would stay, and her father was often gone too, since he was a merchant that had to travel a lot.
For the most part, Vanity was left at the care of her older brothers (who weren’t that much older nor responsable than her), or with his grandfather at his armory shop. Her brothers didn’t spent a lot of time with her, but they provided the basics: made sure she ate and that she was at the house to sleep at night. And while her grandfather could be sometimes cold and distant, he cared for her in a way that few other adults did. He passed away when she was sixteen.
Wyatt, the middle sibling, took possession of the armory. Vanity didn’t mind; even if she was the one who spent most time with her grandfather, she had no interest in working. And this didn’t change once she graduated.
Once she got her diploma - a miracle, according to the principal, due to how many classes she skipped just to smoke at the parking lot -, there were few useful activities she was interested in doing. For the most part, she did small jobs, enough to buy chips and a can of coke from now and then, and sometimes, when her brother insisted enough, covered a shift at the armory.
II.
Things changed overnight in the town when the pandemic hit. As soon as the first infected person arrived, it was over for them; it spread like a wildfire. Vanity only got out of there alive because Wyatt, who was at the house while she covered a shift at the shop, called to let her know what was going on. The call ended by a shout of panic and the distant sound of growling in the background. Vanity closed the armory shop, used a couple hours to get ready, and left with as much ammunition as she could carry. Perhaps it would’ve been smarter to wait there; after all, the doors and windows were covered with metal bars. Vanity had never been good at sitting put, though.
She never found her older brother, nor is she sure if he’s still alive. He was out of town when the epidemic hit, so she can only hope.
She went solo for a while, until a hostile encounter with another group of survivors made her realize her chances of living multiplied if she wasn’t alone.She found a group with whom she lived for a couple of years, led by an ex-militar with whom she started a romantic relationship. However, a miscalculation of threat while they were traveling caused everyone to die at the hand of the infected while Vanity was out scouting, rendering her the only survivor.
Still believing that there was strength in numbers, but not wanting to rush into any group in order to make sure they were people whom she wouldn’t mind living with first, she spent a couple months on her own, avoiding hoards of infected and investigating group of survivors she run into, until finally, she decided that the University of Colorado had what she was looking for.
III.
She likes living on campus enough. It’s a safe space, she has her needs covered, she found a job she can do without causing much of a fuss. The skills and experience she possesses are enough to be the gunsmith, but the fact that she sometimes skips work and that she’s known for not paying enough attention makes it difficult for her to secure that promotion. However, she’s no longer than the eighteen year old kid she was when the epidemic first hit - over the years she learnt how to be slightly more responsible, meaning she might fight for the position a little harder in the future.
Vanity is against the rule of not letting new people in only because she finds newcomers exciting; since she’s not a scout, that’s the only way she has to find out what’s going on on the outside. Her worst enemy is boredom, and she’s willing to sacrifice safety in order to avoid it; after all, they won the first coup, didn’t they? They can win another one.
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spotted on the ferry is johnny shah, they were mistaken for dev patel. johnny is 34 years old, they identify as a cis man (he/him). they are currently spending their time as the owner of cabin coffee in maple creek and are residing in the creek. in 2008 they were 19 years old and worked as a cook at cedar campground. on the island, people say they are trustworthy but insecure.
FULL NAME: john jayan shah
NICKNAME: pretty much exclusively goes by JOHNNY
AGE: 34
DATE OF BIRTH: april 28th, 1989
PLACE OF BIRTH: maple creek, ma
GENDER: cis man
PRONOUNS: he&him
SEXUALITY: gay
OCCUPATION: owner of cabin coffee
EDUCATION LEVEL: a community college associates degree in hotel, restaurant & event management
FAMILY: mother ( 63 ) ; father ( 65 ) ; older sibling ( 36-42, wc ); younger sibling ( 28-32, wc ) ; daughter, anika shah ( 15 )
FACECLAIM: dev patel
personality.
POSITIVE TRAITS: dedicated, hard-working, caring, trustworthy
NEGATIVE TRAITS: self-doubting, insecure, jealous, escapist
backstory.
johnny is maple creek born & bred, almost a permanent fixture of the town's scenery because he's never even left home for more than two weeks at a time. he grew up the middle of three kids in a house that was always lively and busy, with family, friends and neighbors passing through, showing up for meals or offering to help with the kids.
he was never as good at school as his siblings were, his grades were usually mid or just on the verge of passing, which made it very clear that johnny was not headed for college. not that he ever dreamed of it—probably made his parents happy because trying to send two kids to college was already tough, having to do it for all three of them would've probably been impossible.
most of johnny's free time during school is spent working and it continues after graduation; he becomes the master of temp jobs, jack of all trades and everything. he tries any and all jobs that are hiring and even though he never finds anything that he likes enough to settle long term, it's fine with him.
his world gets turned upside down when he's nineteen and his daughter is born. anika's mother was his best friend and the night she was conceived was nothing more than a drunken attempt at something that was never going to work. even if it was clear that they were never going to be a regular family, they decided to keep the child and raise her the best they could.
johnny continued to work, still unable to stick to one profession and whatever free time he had, he spent it taking care of his daughter. annika's mother ended up out of the picture quite early and moved away for a job opportunity. johnny never held it against her, especially that she always calls and visits whenever she can. he had his mom, dad and the rest of the family to help him with anika so they were doing fine.
johnny opened cabin coffee five years ago after a severely premature midlife crisis caused by witnessing all of his friends moving on and making serious moves when it came to their lives. and even though johnny had a kid he was extremely proud of and a very, very long employment history on his résumée, he was still missing something. after a bunch of conversations with his family, friends and half the neighborhood, johnny got a loan, bought the cabin—coincidentally, from one of his past employers—and turned it into the coffee shop that it is today. it took a while to start turning a profit but johnny's managed to develop his business well enough to keep his family taken care of.
wanted connections.
— ex-fiance : i have this vague hc that johnny was engaged at some point in the last 5-7 years but that it never actually happened, probably because of some major commitment issues and johnny being incredibly insecure about his life choices. lmk if interested !
— anika's mom : this will probably end up as a WC on main but if your character fits the brief (around johnny's age, left maple creek to work somewhere else at some point) and you're interested, we can work something out !
— best friend : a ride or die, we've been through everything together, you're like family type of friendship
other than that : you can always assume johnny & your muse are friends or at the very least know each other, he's always been in maple creek and loves making friends ; neighbors ; other parents ; cabin coffee regulars ; past and/or potential relationships.
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The View From Where I Sit
My perspective has changed over the last year, both literally and figuratively. A year ago I was walking around, albeit with a slight limp, with no idea what was waiting up ahead for me. Now, less than a year later, I am confined to a wheelchair. I assure you, it is a pretty drastic perspective shift.
One of the definitions of perspective is “a point of view”. My point of view has changed from someone who stood around 6’2” to someone who now is always seated and views life from somewhere around 4’. I’m not sure, looking at life from 4’, was that where I was in Grade 4 or 5? One of my few attractive traits to the opposite sex over the years was my height, it allowed my date to wear high heels if she chose to, and I would still be taller than her. Just another box that I no longer would receive a check mark in.
Previously when we went out shopping together and would part ways, my wife just had to stand still and look around and she would see my head wandering in one of the aisles. Now when she loses sight of me she has to walk along the ends of aisles to see where I have rolled myself to. This is further aggravated by the fact my dear sweet wife is a worrier if she hasn’t seen me for a few minutes there is a panic that arises in her similar to a mother who has lost a four year old toddler in a Super Store. This also applies to loud noises around the condo, any bang, bump or crash brings her running from the other room, as she enters her eyes sweep the floor expecting to see me sprawled out and helpless. What she normally sees is me looking down at whatever I have dropped, perhaps using some inappropriate language while I ponder if I really needed whatever it is that is now laying on the floor out of my reach.
My need to be in a wheelchair also brings with it a constant condition of dehydration. You see if I need to pee it is a big deal, I can’t just pop into a nearby restaurant or even just go and pee behind a tree. More often than not the restaurant will not be accessible, or if it is, the washroom won’t be. Do you know how many restaurants I look at enviably wishing I could try them out, but the step, or steps at the front door may as well be the Berlin Wall. So the point being, I limit my liquid intake so when I go out I won’t be in a urinary crisis. We walk our dogs three or four times a day, I can almost hear them snickering at me as they casually squat and pee wherever and whenever they want to go. I’ve even had to forgo my treasured after lunch tea for fear it will interfere with the afternoon dog walk.
When we lived up north we had our go to restaurant, Match, at the North Bay Casino. It had good food, good service, decent prices and was totally accessible with an accessible washroom. We haven’t found a comparable place in the Cambridge area yet. We recently took my wife’s daughter out for her birthday dinner. The call was made ahead of time to the restaurant and they said yes they were “Accessible”. We arrive and roll up to the front door, no automatic door opener. The door gets held open but there is a ridge at the front door that the wheelchair can’t get over. A fellow customer is kind enough to help get me and the chair through the door with me feeling like the spectacle I very much have become. We have our dinner, and everything goes smoothly but then I need the washroom before we go. I go to the accessible washroom but it is locked, I wait and wait and things are approaching Crisis Level and I am desperate enough to try to get myself into the regular washroom when the Accessible washroom door opens and out walks our able-bodied waiter who has just had the dump of the century. He can’t even look at me, and I am seriously angry because I had already paid the bill and given him a good tip which I wish I could now take back.
My wife’s favourite restaurant is Swiss Chalet, as you approach you will see the friendly wheelchair sticker in the window, they even have the buttons to open the front door, so can someone explain to me why there is no automatic door opener on the washroom? Just picture for a second me in my manual wheelchair, I need both hands on the wheels, having only one hand on the wheel you will just be going around in circles, so if both hands are on the wheels how am I going to open the heavy bathroom door, especially on the way back out when the door opens in?
You see places call themselves accessible, stick the handicapped sticker up at the front of their establishment, but they really aren’t and to the best of my knowledge there are no set standards that are enforced as to what “accessible” really is. So I will be that dehydrated guy sitting in the corner the restaurant that has no stairs, but I will be sulking because I can’t have a beer because ….. well we all know that as quickly beer goes in, it comes out.
When we had to leave our northern home I wanted to go somewhere else where no one knew me. I didn’t want my old friends and coworkers seeing this retired detective, runner, hiker, dog walker rolling around in a wheelchair. I am in a new city, I’m just that guy in a wheelchair that is often seen out walking, I use this term very loosely, with his dogs, wife and/or daughter. No one knows me and I kind of like that anonymity as more and more of my body stops working.
A very dear friend has loaned me her old electric wheelchair as she has a new one. First thing you need to know is that these things are the cost of a small car, they tend to run from $25,000 - $45,000. They are 400 pound monsters capable of doing much damage if you are not careful. Within about thirty seconds of trying it out for the first time I ripped the end piece off the kitchen island in our new condo because I hadn’t noticed one of the foot rests had turned out. So far I have managed not to drive it through any of the glass doors in our Condo building. Now all those nice sloped sidewalks that look like they are designed for wheelchairs, not all of them are. I am constantly scraping the bottom of the wheelchair or getting myself stuck when trying to cross streets. These are things I never would have noticed until I was actually using a wheelchair. The manual wheelchair which we often use when going out is even worse, the front wheels hit a ridge on the sidewalk or doorway and it is almost like an eject button has been hit as the wheelchair suddenly stops but I’m still going forward. More often than not I have to go through the doors backwards.
I’ve always been quite happy in my role as a wallflower, the guy who isn’t really noticed and who just sits back and watches everything that is going on. Well those days are gone, there is nothing at all discreet about a 6’2” guy sitting on a 400 pound power wheelchair. There is no getting around it, I am now a spectacle. One day as my wife was helping me into my wheelchair she spotted someone on the restaurant patio who appeared to be taking our picture. I was tempted to go up and offer to pose for him if he was so interested in taking my picture but chose instead to just ignore it. I tend to be a pretty observant person so I see the looks when people think I don’t notice. Now I admit I have no idea what they are thinking when they look at me, is it pity, curiosity, compassion or perhaps discomfort at being so close to the disabled person. The point is, I miss the anonymity of blending in and not being noticed.
I will tell you about a recent visit to an Ikea store, a place that I mistakenly presumed would be “accessible” because they are such a forward thinking store. I attempted to use two of their Accessible washrooms, neither was big enough for me to get off my wheelchair and use the toilet. One of them had such a sharp turn going into the washroom I managed to get myself lodged in the doorway because besides the sharp turn, I was also trying to hold the door open as there were no automatic door opener. Yes I was making a scene, jammed in the bathroom door, trying to dislodge myself while people were standing there waiting to get in. The other thing I was constantly was turning down aisles only to find them blocked by merchandise on skids causing me to have to back out because there isn’t room for me to turn around. I don’t know that I will return to an Ikea store anytime soon. I emailed Ikea to tell them of my experience when I visited their store, but never received a reply.
Our new Condo is right beside a rather large theatre that would appear to have some good shows coming up. My dear wife is working so hard I thought it would be nice to take her to the upcoming show but there aren’t many seats left, and there certainly aren’t any “accessible” seats left. In the old days I would have just bought those tickets even if the seats were in the middle of the row, that’s not possible anymore. Lyle Lovett is coming to the next town over soon, I’ve always wanted to see him perform in person, but to be honest, the thought of being in a wheelchair, surrounded by hundreds if not thousands of people makes me pretty uncomfortable. So once again I will be staying home.
Now those are some of the negative things I have encountered so far, but I have also experienced much kindness from friends but also from strangers. The truck driver that sees me waiting to cross a busy street and pulls his truck across two lanes to block traffic so I can get across. The cars in the long stream of traffic that stop, again blocking traffic so I can cross. These aren’t one time things, these are things that happen frequently. The people who hold the doors open for me, or hold the elevator, yes maybe they would do that even if I wasn’t in a wheelchair but I think I am shown more kindness because of the wheelchair. All the incredible kind, caring people involved with the Sunnybook Hospital, ALS Society, all the care people that have looked after me so well up until this point. So many amazing people I would have never met if not on this challenging journey.
Some former work colleagues and friends came and we all went out for lunch wandering downtown (they wandered, I rolled). We were enjoying our visit and not paying attention as the sky turned dark and a torrential downpour started. Now normally you would call an Uber or Cab, and they could have, I even encouraged them to, but they refused because they didn’t want to leave me racing through the rain in the wheelchair on my own. One friend got a large garbage bag to help keep my seat dry and then we rushed back to the Condo and upon arrival we were all drenched…but we were also laughing and I was grateful, these three friends know how important it is to stand by your friend, through thick and thin, wet and dry.
A rather sad note, travelling in the power wheelchair does not fool my iPhone into thinking that I am walking. For the guy who once would average around 10,000 steps in a day, my average over this last week is 54 steps a day, and I assure you each one of those steps was exhausting.
So I am adapting to life at this new lower perspective, and although there are many, many challenges that come with living your life while seated, there are also many good things if you take the time to look for them. Life is just as beautiful from 4’ as it is at 6’. Perspective is your point of view, both where you see the world from, as well as how you chose to see the world.
What goes through your head when you drive or walk by someone in a wheelchair? Do you ever stop to ponder what your life would be like if you were the one in the wheelchair?
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~~ Introducing Highway to Hell: A Stranger Things Story~~
“I’ve been telling you for years, you'd be surprised about the things Nancy Wheeler can and would do...”
The responding statement would haunt Stella Henderson well after it altered her life forever.
“Says the one that went and ditched us the second she got into high school and landed herself some mystery boyfriend.”
The accusation was a false one, but she hasn't been surprised at how Nancy had twisted it when 'sharing' with Barb because it beat the alternative. That the older Henderson was deemed ‘too wild’ by Nancy’s mother, and ‘not good enough’ for her perfect daughter. Playing wild games instead of studying, and partaking in debaucherous substances while she did so. But that wasn't the worst part about the day Karen Wheeler decided that Stella wasn’t allowed in her home anymore, no. wasn't even the fact that Dustin now went over there constantly to partake in a game she’d introduced the younger siblings to. It wasn't even that the very acceptance of it in the boys versus her seemed to cement some antiquated gender roles in play at the Wheelers. No, it was the fact that Nancy seemed to agree and didn't fight for her.
But of course Barb never learned that. Stella had already lost one friend going down that path, so why lose a second, just because Nancy Wheeler "Grew up"? Instead, she caught betwixt two worlds her sophomore year. The world where she’d garnished a truce with Nancy to stay friends with Barb a grade below her, and her secret life of DnD and freakish delight with her boyfriend a year above.
The same boyfriend that snuck into Barb’s funeral to hold her hand, and stayed by her side as she processed the grief. The same boyfriend that she held close and hidden away from everyone who wasn’t in their little club, and would bring her dinner at the game shop- no matter how bad he was at cooking. The very same boyfriend that was unaware of the dangers that continually cursed her brother and his friends the past two years. The boyfriend she’d broken up with in the name of keeping him safe.
But this wasn’t the story of how she lost Barb anyway, or how she’d legitimately rekindled her friendship with Nancy. No, this was the story of how Stella Henderson stopped running from the love of her life, Eddie Munson, and how it took nearly losing him and the rest of her home forever to realize it.
Hellfire Club Taglist: @drbobbimorse @bubblegum-barbie
@booty-boggins @starcrossedjedis @harleyquinnzelz @susiesamurai @juliaswickcrs (Want to be added? hmu! <3)
#Fic: Highway to Hell#Stella Henderson#fd: stranger things#Eddie x OC#Eddie Munson x OC#Dustin Henderson Sister OC#Hendersister!OC#scriptures of the mystic#edits of the mystic#Introduction Post
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I saw you did a favourite facts (or suprising / funny ones) about Vova in the past and I wonder if you could to one about Olena or both of them as couple???
Olena & Olena-Zelenskyy
She studied architecture because her parents wanted that.
She can sing really good and wanted to be a singer when she was little (but didn't to this because she was so shy and her parents were not happy about that).
She can play piano.
He would constantly suprise her. At some point she forbid him to surprise her because the surprises got a bit "crazy". He now needs permission to surprise her.
He randomly makes her gifts, most of the times without specific reasons. Flowers, little things he sees for her, notes, actual (bigger) gifts,... . He says he does this because she gave him his two biggest gifts in his life (his children).
Over the years they have changed the story about themself or details several times. How they met, how and when they started dating, how they got engaged,...
He waited outside the hospital when Sasha was born (waiting right under her window), but was there when Kyrylo was born (and almost fainted).
He can't say "no" to his wife. He "complained" about this in the past and that she has him wrapped around her little finger. He joked that he needs to learn to say "no" to his wife, but he just can't, especially when she looks at him "with her beautiful eyes".
She wasn't that much intersted in fashion before becoming First Lady, but always took care of his clothes (going shopping for him, picking them out, deciding which suit to wear, picking ties,...).
They moved in their first flat together after they married. Before that Zelenskyy lived with his parents and Olena with her parents, but they would constantly visit each other (living in the same neighbourhood) and stay at each other places.
In the beginning she hated the idea of getting on stage with Kvartal (because of her shyness), but Zelenskyy convinced her, so she (rarely) was part of the perfomances (when she could travel with them and felt like getting on stage) and sometimes even had (little) speaking roles.
When they are separated they text each other every day and at least call each other once every day.
Zelenskyy joked in the past that he can't be alone / without his wife for that long because he's completely helpless without her (and misses her too much).
Olena grew up as a christian-orthodox, but got baptimiszed pretty late in life when she already was an adult. Lenny is her godmother.
While her parents didn't like Zelenskyy in the beginning, they started to love him when they saw how much he loves Olena and how good he took care of her. At some point they basically viewed him as their son (same for Zelenskyy's parents and viewing Olena as their daughter).
Olena and Zelenskyy grew up in the same neighbourhood. She switched to his school in 7th grade.
They named Oleksandra after Zelenskyy's father Oleksandr.
While Zelenskyy said that he loves everything about his wife's physical appearance, he especially loves her eyes and mouth and her legs. He would ask her in the past to wear (high) heels or (short) skirts and shorts and stuff like that, because he thought she looks so sexy. (He also said in one interview that he thinks he's having a pretty hot wife with sexy curves.)
When he worked / filmed in Kyiv Olena would bake for him and the crew and visit him on set.
Olena said she had fallen in love with him because she can talk with him about literally everything and they had a lot in common. (She also admitted that his humour was probably also a reason.)
#i probably forgot a lot of stuff so this might be continued in the future#there is just so much stuff about them thats so fucking lovely and sweet and funny#same for her
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In the picture of the left: Mylo (2 months old) waiting for me while I am taking a shower. In the picture of the right: My family now (Dauris, Mylo and I).
Since I was a little kid I was always obsessed with getting good grades at school. In 2021 I started living with my dad’s sister. I rented a room at her house because In wanted to have my own space, living with her was nice at first because it was 5 minutes away from my job, we got along because we helped each other out with the house chores and she has a kid with the spectrum autistic and he loved being with me, I usually took care of him, took him to school during the days my auntie was not able to (I do not regret taking care of the baby because he has such a lovely heart). By the June of 2022 everything was getting out of control, I started having problems with my aunt because for some reason she wanted to take advantages of me, financially and there were times that she asked me to do things for her I couldn’t do it because I was busy with my own responsibilities and she got angry every time I could not help her. She is the type of person that gives you a little toy and she expects you to thank her with actions for the rest of your life, but that is something that was happening only in one way, from me to her, not from her to me. From June of 2022 to October of 2022 she made my life miserable. I couldn’t do homework in the living room because that bothered her. She didn’t let me sleep, making noise every time she knew I was sleeping. When I put stuff in the fridge she would throw it away, it was crazy. It got to the point that it was affecting my grades at school because I couldn’t concentrate due to the fact that I was always thinking about a way of moving out of this house. My grades were the most important thing in my life and I was not going to get anyone to get involved in it. My boyfriend decided to help me out and he gave me the option of moving in with him to the Bronx. (Yes, again to the Bronx). We talked about the consequences of moving in together and it seemed like a good option. Being a “wife” at such a young age is not a common thing so making the decision of moving in with my boyfriend put me in a cage in which my father stopped talking to me for around 5 months. My father thought that I was falling for him. What he did not understand is that if my happiness cost me my life I was going to pursue it, no matter what. He had to understand that his happiness what's not my happiness and I needed to be happy and comfortable in order to continue chasing my most important goals, including graduating from college. Graduating from college is my top tier goal. I've had so many struggles in the process but I need to prove (not other) myself that I can do whatever I set myself to do. Big dreams come with big sacrifices and of course the sacrifice that I am doing at this moment will be worth it at one point.
After being in the same house as my boyfriend for more than a year now, I took this as an opportunity to ask my dad about how he feels NOW about me moving in with my boyfriend. He said “You are my “angelito (Little angel),” and forever will be. There was a little spot in my heart that was bothering me because you have always been my little daughter and I was not ready to see you in another man's house. You have taught me that you are an adult now, and that I need to respect your decision. You are doing really well and I can see how happy and comfortable you are now. I am sorry that I was being a little selfish.” As I was reading this message my tears were falling down my cheeks. It was beautiful.
In June of 2023, the house felt a little empty, my boyfriend and I started talking about getting something that could bring a little sparkle into the house. We talked about different things, but we got to an agreement of getting a puppy (I wasn't so happy about it to be honest). We started looking into pet shops, online and in person. Until we got to a pet shop in Manhattan, OMG I saw this little brown/black small puppy. I fell in love with this small little thing. We bought him immediately. I have to say that our days since Mylo (dog) came to this house has been the best day ever. There are days in which I come home angry, tired or sad and as soon as I see him my mood changes because of the way he welcomes me to the house. He is the most adorable dog I have ever seen. He is very lovely and buying him is one of those decisions I will never regret making. I will not lie, not everything is lovely, he had a stage that destroyed everything, but the good things he does are more than the bad ones.
Here I am, still fighting for my dreams, but today I am closer than I was yesterday. Don't you ever give up on your dreams.
-Esther Santos.
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Ramona Mary Deke
Age: 28
Birthday: September 30th
Gender: cis woman
Sexuality: queer
Conditions: PTSD, OCD, and ADHD
FC: Ashly Burch
(warning: Ramona's story touches on incest. None actually occurs, but there's some implications. It likely will not come up in any thread with her, but it is a part of her story, as is being plotted for Another National Anthem)
Ramona's story starts before her birth, when a woman of Thai descent moves to Alabama, there falling in love with a man whose family had lived in the holler, the town of Musky Holler, to be precise, for countless generations. The man's younger brother as well seemed to have feelings for her. However, she had no interest int he brother, and while they kept things civil once she married there was always a tension, as if his love or lust had never quite faded.
From the union of that woman and her husband came a daughter they named Ramona. She was their only child, loved deeply by most people who ever knew her. Her parents were good, though often exasperated with her energy and very specific motivations that... honestly were not always what was needed. So, she was about eight when she was diagnosed with ADHD. They didn't see this as a disadvantage, though, and worked with her to harness what they knew could be both a superpower and a hurdle.
It was three years later that a car accident took her parents from her. She was then placed in the care of her uncle. Riley Deke, who never married and was now Deputy Sheriff, was at first unsure of how he was supposed to take care of her. So, while he accepted and did as best he could, it was about the same as living with one's divorced and now helpless father. Ramona had buried herself into her schoolwork as a way to cope, consistently getting the highest grades year after year. She worked at the local ice cream shop as soon as she could start working, wanting to save up for college. Her uncle, who frankly did this partially because he didn't want to be alone, made comments about her abandoning her roots and "getting above her raising" at the concept that she was going to move and get a degree in library sciences. She had, at first, promised to come back for a job at the local library, but as her uncle became drunker and awkward mutual affection became mutual indifference, she decided when she left the day after graduation, with valedictorian and homecoming queen under her belt, she was never coming back. At the time, she hadn't even turned eighteen.
The next several years were a bit of a blur, and after getting a master's and looking at where was the best towns to live in where they were looking for a librarian, she moved to a quaint town in Michigan. She had been alone for some time before a morning at the library where she she someone she immediately was intrigued by. After debating for the next few times he came in. Ramona got the courage to talk to him. It wasn't long at all that the two of them formed a relationship and moved in together. With so many rather intimidating people in her life, meeting a person like Jay was a stroke of luck.
A few years later, while planning their wedding, Ramona made the choice to make one last attempt to reconcile with her uncle. She'd invite him. But after a harrowing correspondence with someone who was not her uncle, she found herself heading back home to figure out the mystery before her. Since she'd left, Musky Holler had become overrun with zombies, with a local used car salesman overthrowing the government to "protect" the populous. What he'd done instead was create a fascist micronation, which a woman named Lottie Hester then inherited by overthrowing them, but not making many changes at all, when execution by zombie was still a very real possibility. And her uncle, now a murderer and a rapist, was on the chopping block. And the former sheriff's son wanted Ramona's head too, to wipe out the family line. So, she was thrown into a holding cell.
She was reunited with her "family"... but something was different. As a grown woman, Ramona looked much like her mother. A power-mad man who knew both of them were destined for death, Riley Deke saw one final chance to be with a woman he lusted after, even if it wasn't truly her, and so he propositioned her. Ramona, of course, was disgusted, but also terrified that if she was there much longer, he wouldn't care for her consent.
Luckily, it was only a few days later that she was put into a cell with a familiar face. Her fiancé. Her fiancé had followed her to rescue her, and it seemed gotten himself caught. But things were more than they seemed, with a ragtag band of revolutionaries having made a plan with Jay for him to sneak in. In a convoluted string of events, the old regime was dead and the holler was ushered back into the true world of the rest of the United States.
But the most important was that she and Jay were safe. While perhaps the nobler would stay to help the town to rebuild, the two of them went home, truly never to come back, and to live what hopefully would be a peaceful rest of their lives.
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