#he can yee my haw any time
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Would you save a horse and ride this cowboy?
Heavily inspired by the wonderful cowboy AU art of @larvamars!
#leon kennedy#leon scott kennedy#resident evil#re6#3d art#my 3d art#cowboy AU#cowboy!Leon#he can yee my haw any time
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A Gallavich tale, told 100 words at a time.
-------------------
A man jumped into the back seat of Ian’s car.
“You a driver?” Dark hair, one small piece of luggage.
“Yeah, only if you’re registered on the app.”
“Screw the app. Take me to Nashville.”
Ian choked on his Gatorade. “That’s eight hours from here.”
“So?”
“You gotta plan these things out. Get matched with the right driver.”
“It’s not like I knew that my fucking boyfriend was gonna run off to fucking Yee-Haw Land to elope with my sworn enemy.”
Ian checked the rearview and saw pain behind those angry blue eyes. He switched his app status to OCCUPIED.
---
Ian took the entrance ramp onto I-90. They should arrive in Nashville around … oh, 3:37 AM.
“I have an emergency kit.” Ian nodded with his chin. “Under the seat. A few comforts in case you need ’em.”
The passenger shuffled through the insulated bag. “Boxed juice. Granola bars. Fucking gummy bears, man? This is childhood stuff. You got any Jack Daniels?”
Ian felt a spark of disobedience. “I’ve got a few joints in the glove box.” This was definitely off-book behavior, but it felt right. “They come with a price.”
“What’s that, Jeeves?”
“You’ve gotta tell me your whole story.”
---
The dark-haired passenger scoffed. “You don’t look like you’ve got the stomach to get caught up on my bullshit.”
“Try me.”
“Whatever. Fuckin’ sadist.” He settled into his seat. “You ain’t wearing a wire, right?”
“Not today.”
“All right, so, you ever heard of Berry Buds?”
“Those stuffed animals in the shape of fruit? Don’t people use those to smuggle coke?”
The guy raised an eyebrow. “You too delicate to hear about crime, pumpkin? There’s murder, too. Betrayal. And a pair of pink flamingos.”
“Wait, back up. You forgot the most important part. What’s your name?”
The passenger only smiled.
---
Man, this passenger could talk. Ian heard an hour’s worth of Milkovich family crimes.
Milkovich.
Ian didn’t know the guy’s first name. Only how passionate he was, the excitement in his voice.
“So Iggy launched the box of M-80s into the river, right, and this long-legged yahoo waltzes up.” Milkovich paused. “Wait, did you just yawn? If it’s such a chore to listen, I can fuckin’ stop.”
Ian made eye contact in the rearview mirror. “I was promised murder. A boyfriend.”
Milkovich slunk in his seat. “Keith.” All his passion faded to pain. “Yeah … guess I can talk about him.”
---
“Keith is …” Milkovich seeped with defeat and anger. “He’s the first person who saw me as more than a thug. We met at the liquor store. Been together seventeen months. I thought we were long-term, you know? Then he starts spending time at clubs. Digging into the scene. I don’t give a fuck if he does coke to let off steam. But he keeps getting it from the same guy. Real tall motherfucker. White-blond hair. Wears sweater vests.”
“Northside prick.”
“Oh, you know this guy?”
Ian had seen plenty of club action. He hardened in solidarity. “I know the type.”
---
“Anyways, that’s how I realized my piece-of-shit boyfriend is marrying fancy-pants Logan Covington, the motherfucker who snipes our business and has led the biggest anti-Milkovich smear campaign this side of Michigan.” The passenger let out a sigh. He slowed for the first time in an hour. “Shoulda known by that haircut. He came home looking like a walking Ken doll.”
“So, wait.” Ian sorted through the complicated story threads. “Are you going to kill your boyfriend?”
“No, man, keep up. I want to get him back.” He leaned forward, laying his hand on Ian’s shoulder. “And you’re gonna help me.”
---
Ian scoffed. “Don’t rope me into your drama.”
“Come on, man. We show up at the chapel, tell Keith I’m dating you now, let the jealousy unfold.”
Unbelievable. Ian shouldn’t even consider the offer. He had a ton to do this weekend. But Milkovich was obviously hurting.
Ian scratched his chin. “And I’d be on the clock the whole time?”
“What, you scared to do it? You a homophobe or something?”
“I’m gay.”
Milkovich stared, hard. He looked Ian up and down. “You never mentioned that.” He gave a coy smirk.
Ian felt a shot of electricity. “You never asked.”
---
The Silver Diner in Lafayette, Indiana bustled with activity.
Milkovich talked over the sizzling grill. “Still don’t know why we stopped here.”
“Can’t think on an empty stomach.” Ian flagged the waitress.
Jolene smiled, leaned into the booth. “Order’s coming right up, sugarpot.” She touched Ian’s arm as she left.
Milkovich frowned. “That shit happen to you a lot?”
“What?”
“Chicks waving their boobs in your face.”
“I don’t really notice.” But Milkovich noticed. Interesting.
“It’s good, actually. We can use it in our plan. People find you attractive.”
“You think I’m pretty?”
He rolled his eyes. “Didn’t say me.”
---
Milkovich rolled a coin across the diner table. “You see that? Table's tilted by a degree-and-a-half. Cheap off-balance pedestal leg. I’d have used a trestle instead.”
Huh. This guy’s shoulders relaxed when he talked about normal stuff.
“The key with builds like this…” The guy was smart. Layered. Funny. And his eyes twinkled when he geeked out about construction, apparently.
Ian was finding new ways to be awed each minute.
“…at least shim the motherfucker because…”
Ian interrupted. “I’m in.”
“Huh?”
“Your plan? I guess can pretend to like you.”
Ian’s stomach swooped. Pretend might not be the right word.
---
“Seriously, you’ll do it?” Milkovich raised an eyebrow. “Okay, lay it on me. Tell me everything about you.”
Ian enjoyed sharing his details. “I’m one of six kids. Two sisters, three brothers. Wait, you’re not writing this down? You’re gonna memorize all this shit?”
The guy leaned forward, intense, piercing. He traced his finger around Ian’s wrist. “We’re chained now. I’ll remember everything about you.”
This was absurd, but the guy seemed dead serious.
Ian felt goosebumps. He took charge and matched the guy’s intensity. “Then tell me your first name.”
A quick tongue flick. The guy nodded. “It’s Mickey.”
---
Turns out, scheming and joking with Mickey was easier than breathing. Ian drummed on the table. “Okay, how’d we meet? I gave you a ride somewhere?”
“And then I rode you.” Mickey laughed. “Simple enough. How about second date?”
Ian’s inner romantic spun into action. “A rooftop picnic. You brought snacks and whiskey.”
“Hm. Doesn’t sound like me.”
“I brought a tire iron and gun because I didn’t trust you.”
Mickey smirked, like these lies were becoming reality in his head. “Wise man.”
Ian swelled. His weekend suddenly had purpose. He’d be the best fake boyfriend in the goddamn world.
---
They hit the john before they got back on the road. Pissed in outdated urinals, washed their hands.
Ian watched Mickey closely. Every turn, every strut, every smirk. That’s how he noticed that Mickey flinched when the hand dryer shot to life.
“Mickey Milkovich.” Ian laughed. “You can dump a mob boss in the Chicago River but you’re afraid of a little hot air?”
“It’s fucking startling.”
Mickey paused in the doorway. Tilted his head. Looked up at Ian. “Keith … he never noticed that about me.”
Ian elbowed him, defusing his sadness. “I’m going to learn all your secrets, boyfriend.”
---
Around midnight, the rhythm of repeating street lights on Interstate 65 lulled Ian toward sleep.
“Can I ask you a question?” Mickey looked damn relaxed, too. Seat leaned back. Legs stretched out. Talking in a low voice. “Let’s say I blew this.”
“Not gonna happen.”
“Say I end up alone. Do I deserve that?”
Ian could certainly judge. He’d heard about Mickey’s crimes, his family, his dating history.
He wanted to hold Mickey’s hand. He wanted to find the right words to remedy this hurt.
“Mickey, you are the most –”
A bang. A crash. Ian’s face smashed into the airbag.
---
Ian took inventory. He was conscious. Neck pain. Bleeding nose.
He scrambled to unfasten his seatbelt. To wave away the airbag dust.
He pawed at Mickey’s leg, arm, chest. “Are you okay?”
“I’m scraped up.” Mickey coughed. “What happened?”
“Someone clipped our bumper. We spun out. Hit the guardrail. I was out of control.”
“Why are you pulling on my eye?”
Ian lowered his hand. “Checking for a concussion.” He tried to steady his breath, calm his panic. “I’m sorry. I let you down.”
Mickey set his injured hand on Ian’s, offering shaky reassurance. “Better than being worm food, man.”
---
The cops had come and gone. Reality settled in. Ian’s car was undriveable. They were stranded.
Mickey’s anxiety spiked. “How the hell am I getting to the wedding now?” He paced along the shoulder, pointing at Ian. “Who drives for a fucking living and doesn’t have roadside assistance?”
Ian spoke via speakerphone to a random tow company they’d Googled. “It’s a silver Camry. Near exit 130.”
Mickey yelled into the phone. “Just look for the goddamn ring of fire lighting up I-65.”
Ian prayed for strength. “Ignore him. There’s no fire.” Unless you counted the flames rising from Mickey’s nostrils.
---
Ian talked to Mickey in the crammed cab of the tow truck. “I told you I’d get you there. I’ll think of something.”
The mechanic pulled into a repair shop. “Car can stay here. Hank opens at 7:00 tomorrow.”
Mickey exploded. “It’s not open 24 hours?”
“This is Indianapolis, not L.A.”
“How are we supposed—"
Ian held up a hand to stop him. He could feel Mickey’s desperation, his impatience and heartbreak. “Is there a hotel nearby?”
The mechanic pointed across the street. To a run-down motel called King Richard’s Royal Inn.
Mickey glared. “Well, long live the fuckin’ king.”
---
Josie at the front desk didn’t even look at her computer. “I’m sorry. It’s race week. We don’t have room for more guests.”
Mickey glared at Ian. “Come on, Gingerbread. You’re taking me to the Motel 6.”
Josie snorted. “You’ll be lucky to find a campground in this town with a vacancy.”
“Guess I’m sleeping in your fucking lobby, then.”
As if Ian didn’t feel bad enough about this situation.
A chime sounded on the computer.
“Hey, now.” Josie smiled. “We’ve just had a cancellation.” She looked between them. “It’s a single. One full-sized bed.”
Mickey didn’t hesitate. “We’ll take it.”
---
“Door’s flimsy enough to kick open.” Ian unlocked the motel room.
Mickey groaned. “No TV. No closet. They better have hot water.”
“Jesus, the bed’s small.” Ian’s neck ached. This was officially hell.
“You gonna be all right, Red? We’ve got to get used to touching each other.”
Ian grabbed him and pulled him close, roughly. “Think we’ll be able to fool Keith?”
And, damn, Mickey’s face was right fucking there, looking tired. Cranky. Kissable. “We should do it bareback in the middle of the chapel just to piss him off.”
Oof.
Ian was not going to survive this night.
---
Mickey cracked the bathroom door as he showered, fogging up the motel room.
Ian sat on the bed, still for the first time tonight. He felt warmth. Pain. Adrenaline let-down.
Mickey’s silhouette moved behind the curtain. A hint. A tease. An invitation.
What if … Ian pulled the curtain back?
He could feel those sturdy shoulders, that smooth skin. Trace his tongue along the water droplets. Grab that thick … hair.
What if Mickey dropped his guy and took Ian on? Then what?
Would Mickey get tired of him?
Desire. Curiosity. Potential. Ian’s thoughts swirled like water.
… then the shower clicked off.
---
“Jesus!” Mickey pulled the curtain back. “Damn water turned to ice.” He jumped from the shower, lunging for a towel.
And of course Ian had been staring and saw everything. Mickey’s dripping body. The toned muscles in his legs. His stomach. A quick flash of his anatomy.
Ian turned away.
“Fucking freezing, man.” Mickey’s wet feet slapped on the floor. “This is on you, Gallagher.”
Ian peeked. The towel did nothing to hide the curve of Mickey’s ass.
God, Ian had to tamp down his infatuation. Maybe cockiness would work instead. “I hear skin-to-skin contact gets you warm the fastest.”
---
Mickey huffed at Ian’s joke. “You tryin’ to see me naked?”
“It’s for science. Research.”
Mickey shrugged and reached for the knot of his towel. The world moved in slow motion now, a tattooed hand tugging white cotton.
The fabric fell away, sliding down his leg. Dark hairs matted against skin. Body with the right balance of definition and softness.
Ian’s heart beat fast. He felt it getting stronger and stronger and stronger.
He glanced up and fell into Mickey’s eyes.
One touch could overcome the silence. One touch could reveal Ian’s crush.
Mickey smiled, all confidence. “Your turn, Loverboy.”
---
In this game of chicken, Mickey was winning.
Ian gulped. It was only fair, right? Mickey needed to see his body for their boyfriend charade to work.
Ian peeled off his jeans. His t-shirt, going slow and begging all his parts to stay chill.
Mickey never broke eye contact.
Ian slid his boxers down, breathless.
“Patriot tattoo. Boobs tattoo.” Mickey nodded. “Carpet matches the drapes. Uh-huh.”
How could Mickey stay so calm when he was tearing Ian’s nerves to pieces?
Mickey stepped within touching distance. “Only one more question, hot shot.”
“What’s that?”
“How good of an actor are you?”
---
Ian held his ground. “I’m a great actor.”
“Could you kiss me right now?” Mickey’s gaze raked down Ian’s body. “Kiss me and not get hard?” Mickey spoke oh-so-slowly. “We’re together, right? So we supposedly kiss all the time. Can you control yourself?”
A song burst through the tension. A silly cartoon voice repeating, You are my cute-cumber. You are my cute-cumber.
Mickey’s eyes widened. “Fuck, my phone.”
He scrambled, but the sound went silent before he got there.
Ian laughed. “Seriously? That’s the cheesiest alert.”
“You don’t understand.” Mickey looked up with pain in his eyes. “That’s Keith’s ringtone.”
---
Keith’s call shifted Mickey's vibe from flirty to flustered.
Ian slid on his boxers and jeans. Being naked suddenly seemed wrong.
“Why the fuck was he calling?” Mickey threw the towel over his lap. “He didn’t leave a voicemail. Is he having second thoughts about the wedding? Should I call back?”
Ian had no clue how to help. “Just take a minute. Breathe.”
“My brain’s turning to mush here, Gallagher. I’m exhausted. I’m confused. We haven’t eaten in hours. And now this? Tell me what the fuck to do.”
Ian didn’t think. He yanked Mickey’s head back and kissed him.
---
The kiss was overwhelming. Tinged with panic. Wonderful. Scary. Exciting. Over too soon.
Mickey touched his own lips. “That’s good. I … needed that.”
“This trip’ll be stressful enough without you freaking out. When the anxiety ratchets up in that head of yours, I’ll take care of you, all right?”
Mickey nodded. Took a second. Smirked. “Knew you couldn’t do it.”
“What?”
“Knew you couldn’t kiss me without getting hard.”
“You’re an asshole.”
But the intensity on Mickey’s face told Ian not to push. The bright blue eyes. The absolute relief at being taken care of.
Ian let the moment simmer.
---
Ian needed to be supportive. A bodyguard. A wingman, offering safety pins and pep talks.
He pulled two joints from his pocket. “You weren’t meant to face this weekend sober.”
“Fuck, man, you always know what I need.”
“Snagged ’em from my glove box after the crash.” Ian lit up and offered one to Mickey. “I know everything seems fuckin’ hopeless, like your life is wrecked. You ain’t wrong.”
“This supposed to make me feel better?”
“The point is, it’s okay to be who you are.”
“What’s that, big guy?”
Ian threaded their fingers together. “A loser, just like me.”
---
The wee hours passed in a purple haze of weed and exhaustion.
They didn’t sleep. They lay beside each other in that tiny bed, clothes on, joking and mumbling.
They bumped elbows, knocked knees, held hands.
Ian ached for more touch. For a kiss that meant more than comfort.
Mickey’s icy blue eyes held him at bay. I can’t face that yet. Please let me hover outside of reality a little longer.
In the orange glow of sunrise, Ian gathered his nerve. He asked the question he’d been pondering all night. “You still want to go to this wedding, Milkovich?”
---
Mickey sat too far away on the motel bed. “Why wouldn’t I go? Keith is my boyfriend. We live together.”
“How’s that gonna work out once the newlyweds get home?”
“I still want to go.”
This wasn’t right, goddammit. In the movies, a kiss leads to a romantic finale, not this stubborn insistence to stay on course.
Ian grasped at one last hope. “To win Keith back?”
Mickey inched closer. He held Ian’s chin. Broke into a smile. “To show him what a big mistake he made.”
This time, the kiss was only about the two of them. Fuckin’ finally.
--- * --- * --- * --- * ---
Hey. Is this thing on?
Gallagher’s been doing an okay job telling this story, but now it’s my turn. And none of that past-tense, passive bullshit. I’ll tell you everything the moment it happens, okay?
You’re gonna witness every mile, every pit stop, every tacky decision my ex makes for this wedding. His abysmal choice in groom. Some godawful silver balloon arch. Those lime-flavored vodka Jell-o squares he loves so much.
Damn, I can’t wait to see the scowl on Keith’s face when Ian and I start playing tonsil hockey on the dance floor.
We’re gonna fuck some shit up.
---
It’s seven AM. I’m camped outside Hank’s Body Shop drinking coffee-colored swill.
Ian’s beside me, giving me bedroom eyes, running his fingers up my arm. He’s tempting as fuck.
Hank unlocks the door and lets us in. “Knew you’d be waitin’.”
I spot Ian’s car, nod toward it. “What’s the damage?”
“Her bones are good, but you’re looking at three grand in parts and labor. I have an opening on October first.”
“October? That’s six weeks from now.”
Hank shrugs. “You can tow her somewhere else. No skin off my teeth.”
Ian eyes darken, and not in a sexy way.
---
Look, I’ve learned a lot about Gallagher in the past day. If he says he’s gonna do something, he will.
We’re definitely getting to Nashville.
He’s got about eighty tabs up on his phone. “Ubering is ridiculously expensive. A rental car’ll surcharge me because I’m not twenty-five.”
“You’re not?”
“Not until next May.” Ian doesn’t even look up. “Greyhound leaves at 11:30. What time’s the wedding?”
“Six.”
“Guess we’re taking the bus.”
I fucking hate this idea. Ian can tell. He grabs me by the waist. “We can cuddle the whole way there.”
Okay, maybe I fucking love this idea.
---
We leave the car behind. Leave the body shop behind. Check out of the motel, leave it behind.
All I’ve been doing lately is letting things go. Releasing the goddamn trapeze wire and falling without a net.
My ex is the hardest fucking thing to let go.
Ian and I sit in the back seat of a cab, on our way to the bus station. He holds my hand, simply. “This is the first time I’ve seen your shoulders relax.”
He's a six-foot-high, freckly-armed godsend. It's easier to let go when a motherfucker like that is waiting to catch you.
---
The bus trip passes in a blur. I’m lost in a tangle of Gallagher limbs. He touches my forehead, cups my cheek, kisses me every minute on the minute.
After all the shit we’ve gone through, the ride feels too easy. Roadblocks are easy to rally against. But when the path is clear, doubt creeps in.
We pull into Nashville Station at four o’clock. It’s sunny. The air smells like Keith.
He’s probably putting on his tux and double-checking the flowers right now.
I’ve been obsessed. I haven’t taken a moment to breathe.
Fuck.
Am I doing the right thing?
---
I shove down my hesitation, because fuck Keith. If I want to crash his party, I’ll do it with a wrecking ball.
Ian and I step out of an Uber, bleary-eyed. The white chapel sits in a commercial strip, bathed in neon.
There’s two pink birds dressed in tuxedos mounted out front. I rip one from the grass. “Goddamn flamingos, man. That was supposed to be our thing.”
A man greets guests at the chapel steps. “Thank you for coming, thank you ah-very much.” Rhinestones. Bell bottoms. Sunglasses.
I can’t handle this shit. “He’s having fucking Elvis officiate his wedding?!”
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Anniversary Fic Exchange
June 13th marked one year of our server, so in celebration we hosted a fanfic event! Each participant submitted a prompt and was randomly assigned a prompt in return. You can read all the fics by going to the event’s ao3 collection or on this tumblr post. Thank you to all our participants! And, again, happy birthday to our little server. We love you dearly.
key: title by author (tumblr) [rating*, word count, chapter count]
prompt
*G - general audience, T - teen and up audience, M - mature, E - explicit; 18+
Tiempo de Vals by 14carrotgold (@14carrotghoul) [T, 5.5k, 1/1]
Alex was having a perfectly wonderful time when the very last person he wanted to see came waltzing into view - Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor.
Baby, it's Cold Inside by Celaestis (@celaestis1) [E, 9.8k, 1/1]
Acting like they’re cold to have an excuse to cuddle or share clothes or blankets.
It's Getting Hot in Here (So Hot!) by Celaestis (@celaestis1) [E, 10.8k, 1/1]
Acting like they’re cold to have an excuse to cuddle or share clothes or blankets.
All The Ways I Love You by Treluna [G, 1.5k, 1/1]
People think they're doing it on purpose but they're really not - they're truly THAT nauseatingly in love with each other.
Trick Rider by OrchidScript (@orchidscript) [E, 2.5k, 1/1]
Chaotic night with the super six ft. Henry saying yee-haw and any character saying the dialogue "Can I offer you a nice Shirley Temple in this trying time?"
jump in with your heart first by stutteringpeach (@stutteringpeach) [E, 7.5k, 1/1]
he moved in the day we met and never left.
the beagle, the ghost and the wardrobe by stutteringpeach (@stutteringpeach) [M, 10.9k, 1/1]
he moved in the day we met and never left.
questions and answers by elegantdumpling [M, 1.6k, 1/1]
"There are years that ask questions and years that answer." - Zora Neale Hurston
“You jump, I jump, Jack.” by Muddbloodpotter05 (@mudbloodpotter05) [M, 8.8k, 1/1]
"I just saved your life, so you're welcome."
Hoping You'll See What Your Love Means to Me by politics_and_prose (@historicallysam) [T, 2.4k, 1/1]
Nora and Alex get drunk or high and one of them starts waxing poetically about their partner and the other gets it on video to make fun of them
Always Where I Need To Be by chamel (@cha-melodius) [T, 5.4k, 1/1]
Alex can’t find his glasses again - but he has a suspect in mind for the theft.
The Wrong Classroom by viciouslyqueer [T, 2.6k, 1/1]
Alex and Henry are college professors and are accidentally assigned to teach one of each others’ classes, which is so utterly specific that they know absolutely nothing about it.
SNL | Season 45 Episode 2 | HRH Prince Henry & FSOTUS Alex Claremont-Diaz by TheLastKnownSurvivor (@xthelastknownsurvivorx) [M, 9.7k, 4/4]
"Listen, I’m trying to cut down on the innuendo. But it’s hard... so hard."
i was right there beside him all summer long by hearitinthesilence (@heartitinthesilence) [T, 3k, 1/1]
“You really thought you could get away with this?”
pull the truth right from my lips by athousandrooms (@athousandrooms) [M, 2.4k, 1/1]
"I think someone's a little needy."
There's Smoke in my Eyes (and love in this kitchen) by vonPeeps (@vonpeepsisback) [T, 1.8k, 1/1]
"I didn't know it was possible to burn scrambled eggs to a crisp without actively trying to, sweetheart, but it's still the nicest thing a date's ever done for me."
don't you let it go by smc_27 (@smc-27) [M, 6.9k, 1/1]
Henry blinks into the mirror once, twice, and then frowns, wondering who the brown skinned, curly haired man is that’s staring back at him.
No Sense or Sensibility by InexplicablyMine (@inexplicablymine) [T, 5.5k, 1/1]
“Don’t look at me I thought we were getting Ice Cream.”
Uncut not Uncultured by InexplicablyMine (@inexplicablymine) [E, 6.4k, 3/3]
“Don’t look at me I thought we were getting Ice Cream.”
Promises, Promises by EmmaLostInWonderland (@emmalostinwonderland) [E, 1k, 1/1]
Henry and Alex explore Henry using 'every inch of authority in his blood.
of fathers and sons by adreama (@adreamareads) [T, 7.6k, 1/1]
"Not a win, no, but certainly not a disgraceful performance."
peace by raysletters (@raysletters) [M, 14.2k, 1/1]
Sky High AU
Burnin' Through The Sky by cricket (@cricketnationrise) [E, 5k, 1/1]
museum curator x lawyer au
dibs - (informal) The right to use or enjoy something exclusively or before anyone else, often expressed as an interjection by Poutini (@Cheesecurdsgravyandfries) [E, 1k, 1/1]
"I walked into this party and someone yelled 'dibs!'"
Dibs, the extended cut by Poutini (@Cheesecurdsgravyandfries) [E, 2.4k, 1/1]
"I walked into this party and someone yelled 'dibs!'"
There's No Chocolate by logan_love [T, 2k, 1/1]
And then it was found that all the chocolate was gone.
(you just) call out my name by outofthesun [T, 3.4k, 1/1]
"Sorry, my hands are shaking."
Lost and Found by sherryvalli (@sherryvalli) [T, 3.9k, 1/1]
“Single dad Henry (non-royal) moves to the United States and meets the hurricane of Alex.”
‘Kiss,’ ‘Egg’ and ‘Meeting You’ by everwitch (@everwitch-magiks) [T, 4.9k, 1/1]
An Outside POV from the painter/painters Henry/Alex hire for getting the Brownstone ready to move in.
Dinners and Diatribes by alightlefton (@a-light-left-on) [T, 7.6k, 1/1]
“5+1 anniversaries, any kind, any pairing”
Maybe Dreams Do Come True by Softheart777 [G, 1.3k, 1/1]
"You must be dreaming"
Just Business by bleedingballroomfloor [T, 11.3k, 1/1]
wedding ringer au (but make it gay)
three grubs in a trench coat + gay brit wizard by clottedcreamfudge (@clottedcreamfudge) [E, 8.1k, 1/1]
"Can y'all stop flirting in the google doc :/"
Biggest Fan by Sirius4Life [E, 905, 1/1]
Alex and Henry meet at a Con while separately cosplaying characters who are a couple in that franchise.
Diners & Double Dates by ACDs_Coffee [T, 2.4k, 1/1]
“It’s not a date - we’re just third and fourth wheeling!”
So Quiz Me by indomitablelove (@indomitable-love) [E, 10.6k, 1/1]
“Baby, sweetheart, I love you, but what in the everloving fuck did you just say?”
Not Even At All by ifigo (@juxtaposed-variety) [M, 4.3k, 1/1]
“10 things I hate about you” style AU: “But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you, Not even close, Not even a little bit, Not even at all”
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The boys are in Chestnut Ridge!
Victor and Yuri brought Storm to Chestnut Ridge. Storm did not appreciate the process of travelling as much as the guys did. When they got there, he was too worked up to even notice this pretty mare.
Storm: That's close enough! Any closer, and I will stomp on you!
Storm: *screams in suburban horse*
Yuri: Do you think he'll be okay?
Victor: I'm sure he'll be fine. He just needs time to calm down.
Storm: I'm warning you...
Victor: Look at me, brave boy. It's okay. You're gonna love it here. Think of all the exercise you're gonna get, and look at all this fresh grass.
Storm: No! I'm still mad, and... Ooh wait, is that a carrot in your pocket? Can I have it?
meanwhile
Yuri: Look how pretty you are! You could probably use a bath to do something about that smell, though. Do you belong to anyone? Are you a boy or a girl? Do you have a name?
Yuri: If you don't already belong to someone, maybe you can belong to me.
It seems Storm is still mad at Victor.
Storm: So long, buddy.
Victor: Ow... my ego.
Victor: Rude!
Storm: Rude!
Victor: Look, I'm sorry about the travelling, but we had to get you here somehow. We couldn't just leave you behind. You'll have a good time here, I promise, but we have to work together. Can you do that?
Storm: Okay. I guess. I mean, I like being with you, and there are probably lots of places to explore around here.
Victor: Can we try that again?
After Victor asked nicely for Storm's cooperation, things went a lot more smoothly.
Victor: See, isn't this better?
Storm: Actually, yes. It is.
Yuri: Right, then. I've seen people doing this on television. I'm sure it can't be very difficult.
Well done, Yuri! Got it on the first try!
Yuri: And to think you doubted me. How rude!
Yuri: All right, let's just take it slowly. We'll have a nice, leisurely little ride and get to know each other. How about that?
Storm doesn't know the meaning of 'leisurely'. Just like Victor, he needed to burn off some energy after being made to stay still for too long.
Storm: Yee-haw! Isn't that what they say out here? You better hang on!
Victor: I don't remember asking you to run!
Eventually, Storm settled into a brisk walk, and he and Victor enjoyed some truly beautiful scenery.
After a short ride around the property, Yuri had some trouble getting down from his horse.
Yuri: A little help, please!
All's well that ends well, and Yuri has made a lovely new friend.
She still needs a name.
#ts4#sims 4#sims 4 horse ranch#ts4 horse ranch#chestnut ridge#yuri okamoto#victor nelson#Storm Okamoto-Nelson#stargazersims
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Okay, I think I've got this to where its the fun kind of psychoanalytical torture
So yee haw, let's go, etc: THE 1st accidental dreamwalking incedent Belos and Signey had.
^ you're signing up for this
you get to see this full img with full context too! ⬇️
Anyways. It is a nightmare so: content warnings below the cut.
•••
Content Warnings:
Wittebane Brothers Typical Violence
general unreality warning because of dream logic
getting stabbed bloodlessly & semi-accidentally by a pitchfork
characters being completely unable to will their bodies to move at all for limited periods of time
A group of teens being condescending, rude, and exclusionary towards younger kids
Name calling: scaredy-cat, weirdo, annoying
A kid trying to appease mean people by acting mean to someone else
descriptions of the physical sensation of one's body shapeshifting in body-horrory ways against one's will
•••
A short foreword:
There is an old myth on the Boiling Isles that Humans, because they cannot cast spells, lack a heart.
This myth predates the discovery of the bile sac. In ancient times, it was understood only that the heart was the source of a witch's magic.
This is the origin of the modern superstition that witches with round ears are heartless in the metaphorical sense.
•••
Philip cannot move a muscle. He barely maanages to breathe. He wants to scream, to run, to do anything that might save his brother, but it's useless. An invisible force binds him to his hiding spot.
Caleb drops his pitchfork, and the clatter of wood and metal against the rocks is deafening.
The witch puts an arm around Caleb so gently that Philip wants to be sick. They enter the doorway filled with light so slowly that he isn't sure he sees them move. Their forms blur around the edges, until the last hint of them vanishes, and the door slams shut.
At last, Philip is able to rip himself out of his crouching position. He pushes himself over the rock, running full speed towards the door.
P: CALEB--!
Before he reaches it, the door swings back open, and a new figure rushes out of the light toward Philip, causing him to almost fall over from momentum when he stops. She leans back into the doorway to say one last thing to the other side--
S: --no thank you! Sorry!
-- then closes the door and moves away from it quickly. Philip finds himself dumbstruck. This girl is not the witch who took Caleb, she's too short-- closer to Philip's height-- and lacks any cloak, instead wearing only an odd shirt with leggings.
From behind the door, Philip hears the muffled voices of a few more young girls:
?: What's her problem?
?: Come on, scardey cat!
?: She wouldn't've been any help, but it would've been fun...
?: If you join, you can pick the doll!
The voices seem to wait for a response, which the girl does not offer.
?: Fine! Your loss! Let's go.
Shuffling and laughter can be heard moving away from the door.
The girl from the other side sighs, sits heavily on a flat rock, and pulls her knees up to her chest.
P: Who are you?!
S: [jumps violently] Oh! Uhh...
She rubs her face and sniffles. Her cheek seems shinier, but it's not quite how tear streaks should look--
S: I'm Signey. Sorry. I thought this was...my room...?
She looks around, only just now registering that she is in a cave and not, in fact, her bedroom.
P: Well...it isn't!! So begone! A-and bring my brother back! Or...or else!
He points an accusatory finger at her with much more confidence than he feels. She looks more confused than intimidated.
S: Um, I didn't see any boys on my way here...? I just came from my dad's house.
She points unhelpfully at the door.
P: I don't care!! Get out!!!
S: ...Okay.
To Philip's surprise, she stands as if to heed him. But instead of actually leaving, she just looks nervously at the door, then begins wringing her hands.
S: Uhh...but could I please stay for just a minute? I just... don't want to be in there during the conjuring. The spell won't take long.
Philip's eyes go wide.
P: Spell?! Caleb!
Frantic, Philip rushes to the door, and picks up Caleb's pitchfork on the way. He hesitates just in front of it, trying to will his hands to stop shaking. With a deep breath, he barely manages to steel his resolve, and throws open the door.
On the other side is a hallway, apparently inside of a house. He hears girls giggling around a corner and runs toward the sound, finding a circle of witches that look a little bit older and are dressed even more strangely than Signey. Candles are arranged throughout the room, casting everything in flickering light.
P: [wielding pitchfork awkwardly] Where's Caleb?!
The witches look at him with confusion, disdain, and annoyance.
?: Uh.
?: What the heck?
?: Back off! Cool witches only!
P: [voice shaking] Just-- just tell me where my brother is and I won't hurt you!!!
?: Oh my Titan.
?: No one cares! Get out!
?: We're in the middle of something!!
Signey shuffles timidly around the corner behind Philip.
S: [To Philip] Hey, don't bother them...!
?: Signey, make him go away!
Signey moves with some reluctance toward Philip.
S: Uh, come on--
Philip scrambles backwards a couple of steps, twisting to face her.
P: Get back!! I can't allow these witches commune with the Devil, or-- or whatever it is they're doing!
Signey raises her voice slightly to match his.
S: It's none of your business! Get out!
The other witches chatter in agreement.
P: No!! [a bit desperately] I have to find Caleb!
?: If he makes us miss the moonlight, I'm gonna kick his ass!
S: [to Philip] You're being annoying!! Just leave!!
Signey grabs for his arm; he quickly elbows her away. Philip then shoves the handle of the pitchfork at her, trying to force her back, but she grabs it and starts trying to wrench it out of his hands. In a moment of desperation, Philip twists the handle out of her grip and swings the sharp end towards Signey instead.
He feels it catch on something.
The room falls dead silent. Signey, who'd squeezed her eyes shut, opens them.
That's weird, she thinks distantly, looking at the metal prongs buried in her chest, he didn't even swing from that angle.
Philip stares, frozen with shock. Signey does not move a muscle. They stand there dumbly for what feels like ages.
Until the witches behind them start laughing.
Philip whips his head around to face them them. They are now shrouded in shadow, their facial features becoming unclear and their grins seeming to stretch to uncanny extremes in the dim light. They take turns jeering between fits of giggles.
?: Wowww!
?: Seriously?
?: Don't just stand there!
?: Suck it up! Get him back already!
?: Yeah! Use a spell!
The laughter makes Philip's skin crawl. He can't stop the strain of desperation in his voice when he says,
P: Stop laughing! This isn't a joke!
Laughter roars again. The apparent leader retorts,
?: Yes it is!
Pointing a shadowy finger toward the pitchfork's prongs, she continues, barely stifling her own laughter,
?: It's not bleeding! There's nothing in there!
When Philip looks again, he realizes it's true. It's as though he's poked through the shirt of a scarecrow. The fabric puckers inward, but there's no indication of flesh or blood underneath.
Despite the witches' amusement, the unnatural sight gives Philip a rush of conviction.
P: She's a witch, like all of you! It's sorcery!
His comment renews their laughter a bit too well. The lead witch says, as though it is the most obvious thing in the world,
?: Yeah right! She can't even handle a moonlight conjuring!
Signey is trying desperately to speak, but her jaw will not move far enough, and her vocal chords refuse to cooperate. Her half-articulated wheezes are drowned out. Stop, she wants to say, help me, she wants to yell, it still hurts, she wants to cry, but it's all useless against whatever invisible force grips her.
When leader witch address Signey directly, Signey cannot will her head to turn or her eyes to move to meet hers. Still, she hears the wide smile in her sister's voice,
?: The joke is that you're both human and he still hates your guts!!
As the witch erupts into giggles, Philip's eyes reflexively snap to Signey, and he instantly regrets it. Her wide-eyed, desperate terror reflects his own too closely.
Philip steps backwards in a futile attempt to separate himself from what he's done. The fire encircling them, dancing with derisive glee, prevents him from getting very far. When did the flames get so tall? Philip feels the bloodied knife slip out of his weak grip.
His own blood feels like ice. He can't doubt himself now, not after he's come this far. Not when there is still so much to do. "You're not human," he mutters desperately, trying to force himself to believe it, "You're not human anymore!" The figure, now partially obscured by flames, struggles to hold itself upright. "It's a lie...!" But his dread and panic, allowed a tiny foothold, proves impossible to escape by any reasoning he can imagine right now; Philip feels himself spiral into sickening, unbearable uncertainty.
Spurred by his moment of weakness, hundreds of grating, childlike voices flood his mind, burying all coherent thought under a shrill cacaphony of accusation and animal distress. In the same instant, Philip feels his muscles slithering painfully beneath his skin, spasming more violently when he reflexively tenses them, only ceasing after they're stretched taut by aching, malformed bones.
He shifts his weight, fighting the burden of his own greusome anatomy. A round, golden mask snaps loudly beneath his heel, and he lurches backward.
Too shocked to control the transformation, with nothing to support his weight, Philip falls into empty space--
In two very different places on the Boiling Isles, Signey Shale and Emperor Belos jolt awake from a nightmare.
#THIS HAS BEEN IN MY DRAFTS FOR AGES AND I WAS KIND OF SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING JUST TRYING TO MAKE IT A WORDLESS COMIC BUT#SURE. OK . IVE NOW POSTED IT ON ACCIDENT . SO ITS HERE NOW#adddna#tohsona#toh
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GUYS I AM BEGGING YOU
SOMEONE DRAW NEW YORK IN THE 1989 ERAS TOUR OUTFIT OR THE REPUTATION ONE
PLEASE I WOULD LITERALLY COMBUST AT THE SEAMS
AUGHHH
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
-
anyways, ik a lot of ppl go on here and see when I post, hoping it’s headcannons and I just disappoint them
so here’s some hc’s for u children
ny and the south edition! (pls I don’t know much about the south so don’t kill me 😭 I’m a new yorker)
(the quotes with names on it are southerners communicating with NY or whoever else u want, but more specifically NY)
-
- NC and SC always force NY or any other state who would hate it to sing and/or play the banjo when singing a song at a campfire. Even if they suck at singing or playing the banjo!!!
-speaking of campfires, I believe that the states usually have fires every Summer and Autumn. most get together and sing songs and stuff (u can use this idea if u want)
-New York was forced by Gov to make sure a southern party didn’t go terribly. He stood by the door while Texas wouldn’t leave him alone. He stole Texas’ hat when they all passed out, drunk and still has it to date.
-as (maybe) stated before, York plays a lot of instruments, and sometimes they force him to play the acoustic guitar, harmonica, banjo, electric guitar, etc. The NE makes fun of him for it.
-acts gay especially in front of the south just to make them pissed. he’ll flirt with them and make them uncomfortable with the high amount of gay in the room with them. Florida just goes along with it, laughing and pointing at all the southerners that turn away out of embarrassment.
-made fun of Texas and California when they were outlaws and they just joined the union. “I’m tha toughest cowboy ya will ever meet!” “Mhm.” “DONT JUS’ HUM AT ME!!” >:( -Texas
-They know better than to mess with a northerner. Texas doesn’t though, he’s just stupid. York punched him once and he swore he saw him crying to Virginia after.
-has bit many southerners, does not regret it
-
-“Gimme yer best ‘yeehaw’” “yeehaw..” “Ya can do better than that! I’ve heard ya yell at Jersey.” “yeehaw.” “York, I swear-“ “YEE- FUCKIN’ HAW!”-Texas
-“just add some ol’ bay, it’ll make it taste better.” “No it fuckin’ won’t. Keep that shit away from my brownies.”- Maryland
-played poker against Texas, won and almost got shot by him. (Sore loser)
-“what are yous gonna start growlin’?” “GRRRRR-” -Kentucky
-“nah yer good ‘ere.” “Yous are ontop of me. I dunno if I should feel turned on or uncomfortable..” -Georgia
-“off-brand me.” “southerner you, which makes better.” -also Georgia (Empire State and Empire State of the south)
- “who made you this way..?” “The man yer datin’, Y’know, Mass’.” “He would never-“ “Gin, yous even know the answer to this question, it’s an obvious yes.” -Virginia
-“get rid’a the car at this point.” “Hey! I spent my life savin’s on ol’ reliable ‘ere! I ain’t gettin’ rid o’ her if she jus’ has a leak!” “Life savin’s? Jesus, what’s wrong wit’ yous?” - Tennessee
-“ that’s ‘cause Sippi’ wants a sip of that dick.” “WHAT. I ain’t gay!” *crickets* “GUYS PLEASE-“ -Mississippi
-“are yous happy to live in this shithole?” “Hey! I work hard to make this house a home!” “Work harder next time. This looks like if a hillbilly came in ‘ere trashed the place. Y’know, that makes sense knowin’ that yous idiots live ‘ere.” *walks away* “HEY! YOU TAKE THAT BACK!” -Alabama
- “I HATE YOU!” “NUH UH! I HATE YOU MORE!” “‘nuh uh’ really proves yer point, north.” -NC & SC
- “Mais sha, ya really know how shade the south, huh?” “I’ve had enough of all of yous and I’ve seen ya at yer highest and lowest, so I know what will make yous cry later.” “Uh huh, do me then.” “Nah. Don’ get me wrong, yer barely tolerable, but ya don’ get one.” - Louisiana
(loui was upset later bc he didn’t get one 😭)
-“I swear, ya say anythin’ about me bein’ in ‘misery’ then I’m gonna-“ “Nah, I don’ care ‘bout that. What I do care about is why you like mules better than horses. Isn’t that like the whole southerner thing? Horses and idiots with hats?” -Missouri
-“are yous even apart of the south, or are you like the West Virginia of Kansas?” “JESUS IS GONNA NEED TO BLESS YER ASS SOON, WHAT THE HELL DID YA JUS’ SAY TO ME?!” “I’m Jewish.” -Arkansas
-“yer mid-atlantic, but I understand why ya don’ go to family dinnahs wit’ the Northeast. If I had an excuse, I would use it too.” “You guys are scary up there, I’m shocked you still go to those things. In the ‘contract’ they said they were optional.” “FUCKIN’ OPTIONAL?!” -Delaware
-“I will eat your face.” “Uh huh.” “PAY ATTENTION TO ME OR IM GOING TO DO SOMETHING DRASTIC!” “Uh huh.” “AAAAAAAAA-“- Florida
—
could u tell I got lazy at the end?
anyway, I hope you liked
I spent so long on the quotes, trying to come up with a good one was the hardest part.
and I know half of them are reaaally bad 😭
augh
I have no clue what to do for the next chapter of a fic
but anyways, ily guys
<3
#wttt#welcome to the statehouse#wttsh#wttt new york#wttsh headcanons#wttsh new york#wttt headcanons#wttt southern states#wttt south#ARG#please 🙏#draw him I beg of you#(jk) u don’t have to#I just think he would look hot
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“Who is it going to be?” - Molly
From an old event I did called the Sad Yee Haw Hours:
anon requested: Can I please get Molly x female reader for 5? I hope you feel much better soon and are staying safe 😔
rdr2 masterlist
Thank you honey! I’m staying safe as I can and taking it day by day still. Here is your sweet angst. I hope you enjoy it, Love!
Originally published on May 24, 2020
Molly x Female Reader
Scenario Starter 5: “Who is it going to be?”
Warnings: Angst, mentions of cheating, hearts be broken and it’s the reader’s, I did my girl wrong in this- refer to the last sentence I wrote lmao-
Words: 703
-
“Who is it going to be?” You ask your eyes not leaving hers for a second.
She stares at you with slight confusion before she realizes that you are finally making her choose between you and Dutch. She looks shocked.
“We can’t do this here and now. Dutch is going to be here any second,” Molly says.
She looks terrified of Dutch finding out what has been going on but you don’t care. You really don’t care. Your heart has gone through enough pain for her and whenever you think you are getting closer to securing her in a relationship she deserves she pushes you back. She falls right back into his arms and it nearly kills you every time.
“We can. You had enough time to think about this…”
The stare she gives you suggests that she already has her answer. You feel your breath hitch slightly and your heart race as it tries not to break then and there.
“Of fucking course. I should’ve known better. I have done everything for you that he doesn’t do for you. When will you see that you deserve more than him? I… God, do you know how much I love you? I am the one taking the risk for you each time. I come and visit you at your request. I go to such great lengths for you and you would really rather be with that man? He doesn’t pay attention to you. All you are is eye candy for him and even then you see the way he stares at Mary-Beth!” You rant.
You know you’re pushing it but you deserve to say every word. In your eyes, she deserves to know how much pain you are in. How you really do feel like you are dying by seeing her surprised expression turn into a hard stare.
She hisses at you. “I think you should go. Dutch is a great man.”
“Was I just some toy for you then? Some plaything for you to use until Dutch pays attention to you? Do you even realize how much pain you are putting me in right now? What am I saying? Of course you don’t. You don’t care about anyone but yourself and I hate how that is something I love about you,” You say.
It’s like you can’t stop talking. All of the emotions want to burst out of you right here and now and they sort of do. Your eyes are misty and cloudy before you blink and the tears fall.
This time her face turns serious and she admits. The fact that she admits it hurts more than ever. “You don’t mean anything to me. How could you provide for me the way Dutch does?”
That is laughable. You want to laugh, scream, and cry. She continues, “I appreciate all the times you’ve came for me and kept me company but I love Dutch. I am in love with him. He’s the one for me.”
The ugly sob you are so trying desperately ignore almost comes crashing out. Thankfully, though, a distraction happens. The man you despise walks in. He looks confused as he sees your crying form and Molly’s awkward one.
“Miss (Last Name), what can I do for you?” Dutch asks.
You glance at Molly. You can see the distrust and fear in her eyes. If it’s possible, it’s the distrust, and the fact that she is scared of you bringing up her cheating with you makes you want to cry even more. You aren’t that petty as much as she thinks you must be. You hate it. You hate everything as you force a smile and turn to Dutch.
“Sorry, Dutch. I came here looking for you to ask about any medicine you can bring it. I ain’t feeling too well and the stuff Grimshaw has isn’t kicking in. That’s it. Sorry for worrying you and thank you Molly. Thank you for showing me your true self just now.”
Dutch narrows his eyebrow down as he asks, “Miss O’Shea helped you?”
You want to laugh and defend her at the same time. You merely nod. “Yeah. You can say that. Thanks again Dutch.”
You helped me dodge a bullet.
#softrozene writes#rdr2 x reader#red dead redemption 2 x reader#molly o'shea x reader#rdr2 molly#angst#female reader
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𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙳𝙴𝙰𝙳 𝚂𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙾𝙽 𝟷 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙿𝚃𝚂.
content warning applies. change any pronouns / wording if necessary.
there's us and the dead.
this is what takes us down.
the tragedy of their loss cannot be overstated.
i'm gonna get shit-faced drunk again
you should've seen the look on his face when i punched out his front teeth.
you're still a dumbass.
nice moves there, clint eastwood.
i think tomorrow i'm gonna blow my brains out.
y'all be more polite to a man with a gun!
zero tolerance for walkers.
that's the biggest lie there is.
we're safe here.
it's not a toy.
i know how the safety works.
keep drinking, little man.
do not enter the city.
bright side, it'll be the fall that kills us.
you may think you do but you don't.
living underground doesn't help; not knowing if it's day or night.
wish i could have done it a month ago.
friend, you need glasses.
there's good news?
it was worth every minute of it just to see that prick spit his teeth out on the ground.
i finally got the scrubbers in the east sector shut down to save power.
there were dozens of 'em.
eww. that's nasty.
maybe we got a second chance.
help me now, show me the way.
i didn't behave, i know.
screw you, man.
sometimes they fall short.
you take that stupid hat and go back to "on golden pond."
you the new sheriff come riding in to clean up the town?
cozy in there?
the only reason i got away was 'cause the dead were too busy eating my family.
i don't even know why i'm talking to you.
that's my boy.
this is our extinction event.
how far do you think i can chuck this, huh?
things are different now.
if you see anything, holler. i'll come running.
go on, tell me what to do.
hey kid, what'd you do before all this?
what are the odds, huh?
i know what i want to say.
i see a chance to make a new start.
i remember my dream now.
i ain't begged you before, i ain't gonna start begging now.
i know i'm being punished.
it wasn't my intention.
i can't let a man die of thirst.
i wanna see how red your face can get.
the world ended, didn't you get the memo?
we survive this by pulling together, not apart.
anybody that gets in the way of that is gonna lose.
it scares the fish.
thought i'd get to drive at least for a few more days.
i'll give you a moment to think about that.
i'm sorry this happened to you.
i'm old enough.
it belongs to the dead now.
maybe we'll get to steal another one someday.
nobody is gonna hurt you, okay?
they came out of nowhere.
saves me the embarrassment.
that's the bad news.
can i learn to shoot?
you pull the trigger, you have to mean it.
not many people get that.
bites kill you.
just...feeling very...off.
words can be meager things.
what he would or wouldn't do doesn't interest me.
what do you say to that?
guess the world changed.
the fever burns you out, but then after a while... you come back.
hell yes you're gonna learn.
you heard me, bitch.
the weak get taken.
there's no clinical progress to report.
still not sleeping well, can't seem to keep regular hours.
we gotta do it carefully, teach you to respect the weapon.
we are surviving here.
too bad i never studied engineering.
yeah, whatever, yee haw.
they might not seem like much one at a time, but in a group all riled up and hungry, man you watch your ass.
one thing i do know, don't you get bit.
we don't kill the living.
no crying in the boat.
i bet there isn't a single son of a bitch still listening out there, is there?
that's no way for anything to die, let alone a human being.
you don't know what it's like out there.
you're surrounded by walkers.
we don't have to be afraid anymore.
who voted you king boss?
we left him like an animal caught in a trap.
the line is pretty clear.
admit it, you only came back to atlanta for the hat.
i can see you make a habit of missing the point.
it's only a matter of time.
is this real?
there's us and the dead.
you got a problem?
there's too many of those things.
i never told them what i really thought.
i ain't so worried about some dumb dead bastard.
i'm a glass half full kinda guy.
it's the same as it ever was.
who the hell are you, man?!
#prompts#twd#rp prompts#rp sentence meme#rp sentence starters#rp meme#sentence starters#inbox meme#the walking dead rp meme#twd rp meme#apocalypse rp meme#apocalypse sentence starters#apocalypse rp#tlou rp meme#inbox prompts#deadprompts prompt
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Which redacted listener do you think would hide/ not mention that they speak different languages until some random or funny moment happens? because the fact that I speak 5 languages has put in a lot of funny situations 😂
Omg I wanna know some of these interactions. That kind of thing is literally some of my fav things ever. (I was gonna write a fully fledged fic in answer to this but I have way too many WIPs to do that. 😭 Maybe I'll do it in the future idk.)
N E WAYS
Personally, I think all of the demon boys can speak any language used on Earth. Like imagine Gavin travelling to Spain for example. Considering how big he is on consent and for simplicity sake, he would need to be able to speak Spanish to communicate with those he wants to feed on.
Do all demons use this? No. I'm pretty sure Vega's words just get translated into the person's native language on the rare occasions he does communicate with people.
Outside of the d(a)emons? Oh here we go.
This could just be me pushing a French Baabe agenda, but they give off the vibe of knowing another language. And as soon as Angel finds out, they immediate want Baabe to hold onto that card for whenever they need to lay the smack into Christian.
Sweetheart is another one, but I think they needed to learn multiple languages for their job. (Same with Cutie. Probably Cutie even more so since people think in their native language, and if they need to investigate someone mind, language barriers would be a pain in the ass.) Sweetheart would purposefully mistranslate words to people, just for shits and giggles. Even better if it's Milo.
But idk if any of the wolf boyos would hide it since theyve all known each other since they were kids. I also don't think they would mess with each other's mates to that extent.
Lovely and Vincent though? Those two would totally fuck with each other or other clan members when it comes to languages. Sam would probably give them the silent treatment after the fifth time in one afternoon. It got to be too much.
I feel like Huxley thought Lasko was speaking a different language when they first met simply from how fast our local fan company was talking. Especially since Huxley's speed of talking is much slower.
But you wanted listeners. So here's my list.
Cutie - nothing malicious. Work related reasons.
Sweetheart - pranks galore
Baabe - forced by Angel to wait for the "perfect moment"
Lovely - malicious menacery.
Warden - demon things
Mentor (Ollie's listener) - nothing malicious. Simply a fact of their life. They don't really bring it up, but their ability of more than one language is there when needed.
Anton's listener - I don't think they would hide it since they give off such a heavy wholesome vibes. But I also headcanon that theyre European and English isn't their first language.
Asset - AI computer tings
Honey - they only learned curse words in multiple languages (hahahaha me tho 😅)
Darlin - they got sick of falling for Lovely and Vincent's bullshit and decided to start learning the language (up in the air what it is) also since it was confirmed that they're a menace, they also started doing the same to Sam and the rest of the pack. (Sam can't escape it. Someone save southern yee haw vamp daddy)
That's all I can really think of off the top of my head (I'm having bad cramps so brain not fully operating.) But bonus:
Angel: Im learning French, Davey!
David: oh?
Angel: yeup. Like Angel is Ange in French. And please is sil vous plait
David: what else
Angel: oui oui Ange wants your baguette
David: ...
#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted audio#bully Sam agenda#redacted thoughts#redacted shaw pack#redacted damn squad#redacted demons#redacted contemporary#anon ask#messenger of answers#redacted hc
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Why All Your Favorite Immortal Characters are not Truely Immortal
(Hint, they wouldn't be your favorite if they were).
Why can vampires die? Why, in Pirates of the Caribbean (can you guess my current hyperfixation?) do characters like Davy Jones and Calypso work, even if they're supposedly immortal? Why do vampires, ghosts, etc work, even if they're all immortal?
They aren't. Yee Haw.
Also, I hate philosophy, but we did talk about how Kass believed that if one was truely immortal, then they couldn't really be selfless. I think that's why the Cullens and the Twilight vampires never really work with people. Yes, they're killable, but it's really frickin' hard to do it and we only see a couple die, at the hands of either other vampires or werewolves, another supernatural creature. So for us humans, that's not attainable.
Now look at Davy Jones. Initally, he looks like he's truely immortal. In DMC when we meet him, we see that his immortality slowly stripped away, layer by layer. First, Jack gives us the idea that he's not with the quest for the chest with his heart, then we see the key, and they the chest itself. The final nail in that coffin is when we see Davy's reaction to his heart being taken. And in a deleted scene, we get to see Davy supplicate himself to Cutler Beckett, a mere mortal. So in our minds, this really concretes the thing that Davy isn't really immortal. So that makes his death in AWE so much more... I dunno, real? But it works.
So then why would someone like Will, now the new immortal captain of the Dutchman, seem human? He has to loose something else that is common enough to humans to be near universal. So what about... love? He looses Elizabeth almost permenantly. Just one day a decade. Pretty sucky ass deal. Then add on the fact that Elizabeth has a kid, and he looses out on that too... since we sort of know he's not gonna be killed and so for the meantime is immortal, him loosing his chance at a normal life, at a family and love for the first time in a long time makes him relatable. It makes us not hate him.
Now contrast that with Twilight.
Hardly anybody does. Especially the vampires or werewolves. The series does not go out of its way to establish it's immortal characters as having any sort of weakness at all. They're all just sad. There's really no threat to their existence, at all.
The reason Davy Jones works is because his heart, the thing that can kill him, the only threat to his existance, is the object of DMC's entire plot and a major plot device and threat in AWE. It's present and utilized and we know about it. We don't know about the weakness of our Twilight vampires or Werewolves. We rarely see them get hurt either. But we see Jones get stabbed and walk it off, or we see Will died before the heart brings him back.
Bit rambly but I wanted to get this out of my drafts.
#imortality in fiction#and how to do it right#writing tips#writing help#writing advice#pirates of the caribbean#will turner#davy jones#twilight#twilight saga#edward cullen#the cullens#some philosophy#but not really
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WOE.BEGONE ocs masterlist!!
Decided to make one of these finally because there's a lot of them
MIKELIJAH CONSOLIDATIONS
Cicada Walters (they/he/she bird/wing)- Consolidation between Mikey Walters and Eli Mayfield. My self insert! And my favorite disaster bisexual. They're one of the founders of H1VE. In a romantic relationship with PR1ZE and Jessica.
C.W. (they/he/she bird/wing)- Cicada iteration from the future. They came back to the present to help out with the H1VE and Elijah conflict. After that, they pop in for individual missions and corrections, but mostly stay in their own time.
Scarab Walters-Baker (they/she yee/haw)- Cicada's older, cooler, and sadder cowboy iteration! They're about 10 years older, give or take. Used to be a flinchite boot but rebelled and helped Cicada escape the compound. Married and in a qpr with B0UNTY and Jessie. Part of H1VE.
Timema Walters (she/he)- Iteration of Cicada still playing WOE.BEGONE. She works at OI and is still doing missions for them. She keeps surveillance over H1VE and protects them in the ways that he can, but doesn't interact with them outside of that.
Viceroy Walters (he/xhey)- Iteration of Cicada, iterated off at the same time Timema was. He works at OI and goes to OVER occasionally. Part of a separate base inside of OI, run by a different OI worker, Facade. (Heshemikey's oc) Xhey're part of the Elijah council.
Rove Walters (he/him)- Iteration of Timema that she created to try and help escape from WOE.BEGONE. Rove ran off and met M3DAL, a PR1ZE iteration, and now they live their stupid little hippie lives on the beach. He's filled with paranoia about WOE.BEGONE finding him and kills any iteration he sees of himself on sight.
Mantis Walters (he/they)- Mikelijah consolidation, not a Cicada iteration. Basically just the came back wrong trope. I love him. He's so angry all the time and at everyone. Most iterations of them are compound torture subjects but there are a couple running around on the outside. One of their iterations is part of H1VE.
Hornet King-Walters (he/they xe/xet)- Consolidation of Cicada and Damian (also a two person consolidation). Has a small council but they don't do much except for steal stuff from OVER. Has a bunch of medical issues because of their consolidation. Coowned by @ltacryptid. Xe's also in a weird polyam relationship with xet's other iterations and Ana and Hyde.
H2 (he/him)- Hornet iteration. Very much the quietest and softest iteration, but still ruthless.
H3 (she/they/he)- Hornet iteration. Literally Will Just Kill You.
H4 (he/it)- Hornet iteration. Quietly angry and sad all the time.
H5 (he/she)- Consolidation between two Hornet iterations. Completely immobile. His body is always falling apart. The only reason he's still alive is because Ty wants to see how long it takes her to die.
Tracker King-Walters (they/them)- Hornet's cowboy iteration. Originally wasn't part of the council but got roped into it. Also will just kill you.
MISCELLANEOUS
Elijah Alexander Mayfield (he/she/they)- Hoo boy. Where do I even start. The council of elijahs are probably the most powerful ocs I have. They have their grubby little fingers in every time travel org out there except Walters Base. They all consider themselves they same person even though the aren't so they all use the same pronouns. They're all bastards. ESPECIALLY Eli.
Oliver Newton (prns vary between iterations)- The Elijah's rival council. Just as powerful, a little less ruthless. They and Elijah used to be friends, before Eli coerced (read: threatened) Cicada into doing a connectivity strike on them.
Aaron Fowler (he/him)- Elijah's boyfriend and ex WOE.BEGONE player. Used to work at OVER, but then he tried to start his own version of Base and got killed for his efforts. Elijah brought him back, but now he lives in hiding.
Anaphora Lawson (she/they)- Tier 1 OVER worker. Knows a bit of what's going on but wants nothing to do with it. Lives with her partners, the hornet council and Hyde, and just tries to keep them safe. Accompanies the Hornets on their OVER missions anyway.
Brair Campbell (she/her)- Consolidation between Anne and an unnamed OI worker. May's (Elijah's OI iteration) pet project. OI made her forget she's a consolidation and she's just living a normal life. Now and again the Elijahs use her for something and then she gets her memory back, but it's rare.
#maintagging this. fuck you look at my ocs boy#woe.begone#H1VE#cicada walters#scarab walters#mantis walters#hornet king-walters#elijah alexander mayfield#oliver newton#aaron fowler#anaphora lawson#briar campbell#timema walters#viceroy walters#C.W.#rove walters
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Solar Opposites: The Misadventures of The Solars Episode #3: Foxfight
The episode starts with the Shlorpians arriving in the Solars’ house.
Shlorpian Randall: Korvo? Terry?! What’s the exciting news you wanted to tell?
Korvo, Terry, Shlorpian Phoebe, Janiz and the kids come in with Korvo holding Lili.
Korvo: Everyone, meet our new baby daughter, Lili.
Shlorpian Janice: H'no, she's so cute, y'know!
Lili: *babbles*
Shlorpian Frankie: Woah. How did that happen?
Korvo: Well to be honest, it is complicated but here she is. Our little Shlorpian bundle of joy.
Shlorpians: Aw. She’s precious. So fucking cute. D’aw, she looks just like her father. Ain’t she a real cutie? So adorable. Hey little sweetie! Coochie choochie coo! Hi baby.
Terry laughs
Terry: Yep. She is such a sweet cutie. *tickles Lili on the belly that made her giggle*
Shlorpian Cooke starts sobbing hysterically
Shlorpian Frankie: *smiles in amusement and laughs* Honey, get it together.
Lili: *cooing*
Korvo: *laughs* They like you, Lili.
Lili: *babbles*
The Pupa then smiles at his baby sister and falls in love with her.
Pupa: Sissy!
Lili: *giggles and touches Pupa’s face as he smiles*
Shlorpian Randall: Who gave birth?
Korvo: I did.
The Shlorpians look at Korvo with shocked silence
Shlorpian Cooke: Yeah. It’s true. He told me about it and that there hasn’t been any records about this.
Korvo sighs and sheds a few tears
Korvo: *tearfully* It’s true I didn’t know either. Usually a sproutling is born thanks to a finger clipping. But this time, Lili’s birth is different because it came from my uterus.
Shlorpian Ms. Perez: TMI, buddy.
Shlorpian Louise: I guess that’s a new reaction on being on Earth too long or something.
Korvo: I don't know yet but-
Suddenly, a glass bottle was thrown into the window as glass shatter and the family screamed as they ducked for safety.
Jesse: What was that?!
Shlorpian Phoebe: *recognizing the whooping* Oh God! No!
Shlorpian Phoebe steps outside and gasp upon seeing her relatives living near the hillbilly swamp trailer park while whooping. The Solars, who turn into their human forms along with Lili, and their Shlorpian friends peak outside and gasp upon seeing Phoebe’s now Shlorpian relatives.
Human Korvo: Phoebe! Are those your relatives?!
Shlorpian Phoebe sighs and facepalms.
Shlorpian Phoebe: Yes. Yes they are.
A few minutes later, an annoyed Shlorpian Phoebe, the human Solars and the Shlorpians head over to Phoebe’s relatives.
Shlorpian Phoebe: Hello Uncle Randy.
Shlorpian Uncle Randy: Well, howdy do! Phoebe’s back y’all!
Shlorpian Phoebe groans
Shlorpian MacCarthy Relatives: Yee-haw! Ya-hoo! Get along y’all! Whoo! *laughs and hollers like a western person in joy*
Human Terry: Wow.
Shlorpian Uncle Randy: Of course you remember Randy Jr., Cousin Joe and John, Cletus, Big Bubba, Jenny and the rest.
Shlorpian Phoebe: Unfortunately, yes.
Shlorpian Randy Jr.: Howdy cous and *sees the Human Solars and the Shlorpians* Hey! Look, humans just like we once were and aliens like us!
Human Yumyulack: Don't. Come. Near. Me.
Human Korvo: *laughs nervously; whispers* Yumyulack, whatever you and your siblings and the rest of the gang do, do not do anything to upset them. Or worse.
Human Yumyulack: But he smells bad!
Human Jesse: *covers Human Yumyulack’s mouth and laughs nervously* He meant it in a good way. *laughs nervously and then the Shlorpian McCarthy laughs with her*
Shlorpian Jenny: Ain’t those children darling?
Shlorpian Uncle Randy: *laughs* Y'know, I like y'all! What are your names?
Human Jesse: None of your business!
Human Korvo: Huh? *whispers to Jesse* what’s wrong honey? Why don’t you want them to tell them our names?
Human Jesse: It's obvious Phoebe hates them!
Shlorpian Phoebe: *sighs* Look guys, can you please be more careful? Your bottle nearly hurt my family and their friends. Plus, they have a baby now. You guys have got to be careful.
Phoebe's relatives laugh
Shlorpian Big Bubba: Relax Phoebs. These guys must be hard as metal. Especially *pointing to human Lili* that little runt over there.
Human Lili whimpers
Human Korvo: Uh, excuse me? Are you talking about our baby?
Shlorpian Jenny: Yeah, we are! She's cute! Hopefully, she'll grow up to be just like me!
Human Korvo: Oh hell no she will not!
Human Lili: *cries*
Human Terry: Aw dude, now look what you guys did! You made our baby cry!
Shlorpian Bubba guffaws
Shlorpian Bubba: Relax, it’s just family fucked up genes. *to Replicant Sonya* How about some Moonshine, you robin’s egg blue little runt?
Replicant Sonya: PISS OFF!
Human Yumyulack and Human Jesse: *gasp and covers Replicant Sonya’s mouth* Uh heh heh! She was just kidding! Yeah kidding! *laughs nervously* Please don’t hurt us.
Human Korvo sighs in frustration
Human Korvo: Listen pal, I know you’re my nanny’s family but I don’t like the way you are talking to my kids and baby like that! Now apologize immediately!
Shlropian Uncle Randy: Alright, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you must’ve *points to Human Terry* married a weak wimpy asshole over here.
Human Terry: WHAT?! *growls as his eyes turn orange*
Shlorpian MacCarthy Relatives: *laughs mockingly at Human Terry*
Shlropian Phoebe: *outraged* Guys! That’s my family!
Shlorpian Phoebe's relatives gasp
Shlorpian Randy Jr.: This family is the ones you look after as a nanny? *laughs with the rest of the relatives* Then you must be sorry for having that orange t-shirt loser and his family for making your life miserable.
Shlorpian Phoebe: *enraged* Randy Jr!
Human Korvo: That does it! *puts his hair into a ponytail*
Shlorpian Phoebe: Korv, what are you doing?
Human Korvo goes up the family in tranquil fury.
Human Korvo: That does it! You owe my family and our friends and apology right now!
Shlorpian Bubba: Or what?
Shlorpian Randy Jr.: *referring to Human Terry* You’re gonna let that weak-looking llimpy redheaded wimp over there fight us?
Human Terry: *growls* Shut...shut...
Shlorpian Janice: H’no is Terry okay, y’know?
Human Terry suddenly roars in fury as monstrous fangs suddenly appears in his mouth and his eyes glow orange as he attacks Randy Jr.
Shlorpians: Oh my God! Terry! Terry, what the fuck are you doing?! Have you lost your mind?! Stop it! You’re hurting him!
Human Terry: YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!
Shlropian Randy Jr. :*screams* GET THIS FUCKING ANIMAL OFF OF ME!
Human Korvo pulls Human Terry off of Randy Jr. and goes to talk with him in private
Human Korvo: Oh my God. *to the Shlorpian MacCarthy relatives* I’m so sorry, let me talk to my hubby in private.
Human Korvo takes Human Terry inside the house
Human Korvo: Terry, what was that all about?
Human Terry: UGH! LEAVE ME ALONE, ALRIGHT?! HE DESERVED IT!
Human Korvo: *concern* Wh-what?
Human Terry storms upstairs as Human Korvo sighs and turns into his Shlorpian form
Korvo: Something is really wrong… *goes upstairs*
Korvo enters the bedroom and gasps to see that everything is a mess and Human Terry is curled up in the corner, mumbling some angry stuff
Korvo: T-Terry?
Human Terry: *growls*
Korvo: You okay, Terry?
Human Terry starts sobbing quietly
Korvo: Terry!
Korvo runs up to his husband and kisses him on the forehead as Terry turns back into a Shlorpian
Terry: *voice breaking* Go away… today was humiliating already…
Korvo: Oh honey...
Terry: *breaks down in tears*
“My Immortal” plays in the background as Korvo consoles Terry.
Korvo: Shhh… shhh… it’s gonna be alright my love.
Terry giggles because Korvo feels warm
Terry: You are very warm honey…
Korvo giggles
Korvo: Thanks. I’m so sorry Phoebe’s relatives made you feel humiliated.
Terry: It's okay. I'm sorry I went crazy...
Korvo: It’s okay Terry. I know you were trying to defend Phoebe, the kids and our friends.
Terry sighs and snuggles with his hubby
Terry: Korvy…. am I strong? And brave? And not weak?
Korvo nods
Korvo: Of course. Don’t listen to them, Terry. You are strong and brave on the inside. That’s what matters, not on the outside. *pulls Terry closer* It’s gonna be okay…. I promise…
Korvo's wings suddenly appear
Terry: *gasp and blushes* Oh my honey…. Your wings.
Korvo is confused but notices his bat wings and giggles. Janiz comes in while uploading something and then gasp upon seeing Korvo with his bat wings.
Janiz: K-Korvo? You have...
Korvo: Yes. I have control now.
Janiz smiles tearfully
Janiz: *hugs her brother* I am so proud of you…
Terry is confused
Terry: Wait. How are you proud of him? Unless…. *realizes something* You’re a Super Shlorpian too, aren’t you Janiz?
Janiz nods as her skin turns black. Then, Janiz’s eyes glow icy pink as she grows bigger and muscular and rips apart her clothes. Then, her wings, that are also colored icy pink appears on her back while her horns appear on her head. Janiz’s teeth becomes monstrous and she grows boobs. Now a Super Shlorpian, Janiz roars.
Terry: Wow...
Super Shlorpian Janiz: Thanks. It’s been running in our family for generations, ever Koran made that blessing when trying to protect his family from bandits and other threats to the village.
Terry: Koran?
Super Shlorpian Janiz: *shows him an ancient artwork* Our ancestor. The first one to become a Super Shlorpian. He became the Super Shlorpian during war time because he needed a way to protect his family and friends. So, he made that blessing. The bloodline has passed onto his Replicants at the age of 13, which is their coming of age, then it passed onto theirs as the years go by… soon will Yumyulack.
Terry gasps
Terry: No way… Yumyulack will soon become a Super Shlorpian?
Korvo sighs
Super Shlorpian Korvo: Yes. It’s about to be Yumyulack’s time soon since he is now already 13-years old. But, I’m afraid we can’t tell him when the time is right.
Terry hugs Korvo who flaps his wings
Terry: Don’t worry honey. We’ll wait to tell the others until it’s the right time.
Korvo smiles. Meanwhile with the others, they watch the Shlorpian MacCarthy relatives doing crazy stuff as they sigh in dismay, except for Shlorpian Randall who is intrigued.
Shlorpian Randall: Wow, those guys are cool!
Shlorpian Phoebe: I am so sorry about my family guys. Ugh, they had no right to treat you guys like shit. Especially you kids.
Human Jesse: Don't worry.
Human Yumyulack: *holding human Lili* It’s okay. Unlike them, you have a big heart, Phoebe. You’re the best nanny we ever had.
Shlorpian Phoebe smiles tearfully
Shlorpian Phoebe: D’aw come here kids. *sighs as she looks at her family* Hopefully, they’ll blow off some steam eventually. Come on guys, let’s go home. *the kids, Shlorpian Phoebe and the Shlorpians, except for Randall walks away* Hey Randall, you coming?
Shlorpian Randall: Huh? Uh yeah, be with you guys in an hour!
After the others left, Shlorpian Randall walks up the Shlorpian MacCarthy relatives and clears his throat.
Shlorpian Randall: Uh excuse me?
Shlorpian Cletus: Hey look guys! It’s one of the Shlorpians y’all. What ya want?
Shlorpian Randall: Hey uh *clears his throat* Ahem. You guys do amazing awesome extreme stuff for a bunch of rednecks. Can I please join you?
The Shlorpian MacCarthy relatives gasped. Then, they get into a group huddle secretly and laughs. They decided to play a prank on Randall. They turn around and looks at Shlorpian Randall.
Shlorpian Joe: Okay, here is what you gotta do. Head into the woods, find a… *looks down at the creature book with a page about the Mundane* Mundane while drinking moonshine and then you’re one of us.
Shlorpian Randall grins in joy.
Shlorpian Randall: Fuck yeah! I will do it! When do we start?!
The scene then cuts to Shlorpian Randall wearing redneck clothes while drinking Moonshine as the Shlorpian MacCarthy relatives snickers quietly.
Shlorpian Uncle Randy: Alright, these woods aren’t that safe. Be careful for wilderness bullshit out there and good luck!
Shlorpian Randall: Fuck yeah! Let’s do this! *heads into the woods after drinking Moonshine* Wish me luck you wonderful fuckers!
The Shlorpian MacCarthy relatives snickers.
Shlorpian Joe: God! This is gonna get so many likes!
Shlorpian Randy Jr.: How is he that dumb?
Two hours later, Shlorpian Randall, who is now covered with sticks, pin needles, mud and sap pants while having a bandage clothe around his arm.
Shlorpian Randall: Okay… I’m lost in the woods… it’s getting dark oh God so fucking hungry. *sees a bunch of berries* Oooh, these berries don’t look poison.
Shlorpian Randall eats the berries but then starts to hallucinate as a weird background appears as he grows amazed.
Shlorpian Randall: Oooooh….. pretty colors.
Shlorpian Randall keeps hallucinating as the background starts doing crazy things, but then suddenly, Shlorpian Randall finds himself near the lake as he screams and falls into the water as the stream starts to carry him.
Shlorpian Randall: Aaah! *gluts and leaps up for air* Oh fuck oh fuck! *glugs and leaps up for air* This is not fucking happening! *suddenly gasp and sees the waterfall* AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
Shlorpian Randall falls down the waterfall as he screams in horror. Then Shlorpian Randall made it the surface and heads onto land as he sighs in relief. Back with the others, Korvo starts to wonder where Randall is.
Korvo: Where the fuck is Randall?! He’s supposed to be home by now. It’s already getting late!
Terry: I know. I'm really worried.
Shlorpian Phoebe then realizes something as she looks at her relatives and sighs in dismay.
Shlorpian Phoebe: I know where. Come on boys.
After Korvo and Terry turn into their human forms while Janiz carries baby Lili, the four adults head over the Shlorpian MacCarthy family.
Shlorpian Phoebe: *sighs* Uncle Randy, what did you do this time? Where is Randall?!
Shlorpian Randy: We just told him somethin' 'bout a Mundane being in the woods. *laughs* And boy, did the sucker fall for it!
Human Korvo, Human Terry, Shlorpian Phoebe and Janiz: *gasp* WHAT?!
Shlorpian Phoebe: Uncle Randy, have you all lost your mind?!
Shlorpian Randy snorts
Shlorpian Randy: Yeah. That dumbass has been out in the woods for awhile now. Hope we see the look on his face when he comes back. He’s been gone for like two hours.
Shlorpian Phoebe growls
Human Korvo: What?! Are you nuts?! He must’ve gotten lost! What you rednecks done?! He’s gonna go crazy! *calling out for Randall* RANDALL!
Human Terry: RANDALL! COME BACK!
Shlorpian Phoebe: RANDALL!
Terminator: *appearing from the trees; played for laughs* Randall… Randall… I think he’s gone….
Human Korvo, Human Terry, Janiz and Shlorpian Phoebe looks on in worry. Three weeks later, the family and Shlorpians are in the helicopter.
Earth-4 Ranger: I'm afraid he might not have survived, Mr. Opposites. We've been searching these woods for weeks.
Human Korvo: We've got to keep looking. Randall’s got to be out there somewhere.
The helicopter then lands at the ranger center. The scene then cuts to the ranger station where the Human Solars and the Shlorpians are waiting, until the ranger came in.
Ranger: Good news! We found something in the woods. *hands them Randall’s redneck bandana with Shlorpian blood on it*
Shlorpian Phoebe gasps
Shlorpian Phoebe: Oh my God! That must be what Randall was wearing before he got lost in the woods. We’re so fucking close! Come on guys, to the woods!
Later, the Human Solars and the Shlorpians spread out to find Shlorpian Randall
Shlorpian Phoebe: Okay guys! Fan out and find Randall!
All: Randall! Here Randall! Randall, where are you?! H’no Randall where are you Y’know? Here Randall Randall Randall!
Suddenly, Shlorpian Cheery hears something.
Shlorpian Cheery: Guys! I think hear something!
All: Oh god! Really? What is it?! Randall?! That you Randy?
The gang peeks through the bushes, and sees a now feral Shlorpian Randall.
All: Randall!
Shlorpian Phoebe: Oh Randall, thank God! You’re alive!
Suddenly, Randall starts muttering like an animal in fear as the others grow terrified over what has become of their friend.
Human Terry: Oh my God. Randall has become a motherfucking feral beast!
Shlorpian Janice: *gasp* H’no what do we do now Y’know?!
The scene cuts back to the Solars and their friends arriving home with Shlorpian Janice carrying Shlorpian Randall on his leash.
Shlorpian Janice: Okay Randall, here it is. This is your home. This is the couch where you sit. (Shlorpian Randall starts sniffing around the TV) Oh, yes, that's the television. Kids, I think he recognizes the TV. We're all thinking it, and he just does it.
But then Shlorpian Randall goes feral and starts throwing things while screaming in rage as the gang looks on in dismay. Korvo sighs in dismay.
Korvo: Poor Randall…
Terry: Aw man this is gonna be harder than I thought. Okay guys, team huddle. *the gang does a huddle* Okay, each of us will help Randall. We must do whatever it takes to get our friend back! Now let’s do this!
The scene then cuts to the living room where Shlorpian Janice puts in the dvd.
Randall: *on the dvd* Hello, feral Randall. If you're listening to this, you've probably become feral, and you're probably thinking of a nice juicy rabbit right now. (muttering) But this isn't who you really are, Randall. We got to get you back on track. Isn't that right, buddy? Okay, good. So, feral Randall, why don't you put in tape number two and let's get started. Don't listen to that Randall! That Randall is a liar! Run! Be free! They will enslave you! (grunting gibberish)
Human Terry: Oh for God’s sake! Who encouraged Randall to make those tapes?!
Shlorpian Kevin looks away nervously. The scene the cuts to Shlorpian Jamie about to turn on a record with Shlorpian Randall staring at it.
Shlorpian Jamie: All right, now, I've been trying to figure out something we can do together, and I think I've found it. We're gonna sing a song. Now, I'll start, and when I point to you, you'll sing your part. Ready?
Shlorpian Jamie then plays “Carry on Wayward Son”. Shlorpian Randall seems like he is gonna sing, but then he screams in rage and smashes the record with a huge wooden stick.
Shlorpian Jamie: Yeesh. I thought he liked that song…
Later that night, while the family were sleeping. Korvo hears a loud noise. He then heads outside and turns on his flashlight only for him to scream in horror upon seeing Shlorpian Randall eating garbage like a raccoon.
Korvo: RANDALL! SHOO! GET OUT OF HERE!
Korvo then notices his old pink nightgown
Korvo: Okay, who throw out my old nightgown?
Shlorpian Cooke: My God, you like 34 or something! Accept it!
Korvo sighs. The next morning, Shlorpian Kevin and his family, Shlorpian Cheery, Shlorpian Naomi and Shlorpian Alice came by.
Shlorpian Cheery: Hey guys. Is Randall getting any better?
Terry: *snapping* WHAT DO YOU THINK?!
Shlorpian Cheery: *taken back* Sorry.
Korvo puts a hand on Terry’s shoulder.
Korvo: Terry…
Terry sighs
Terry: I’m sorry. I’m just a little frustrated. This is all Phoebe’s relatives’ fault. I don’t even know why they would sent Randall out in the woods for a fucking Mundane.
Janiz gasps at the mention of the Mundane
Janiz: Did you just said Mundane?
Terry: Yeah? Why?
Janiz: Terry, *gets out her book and shows the gang the page* Terry, that beast is one of the most overwhelming and dangerous creature of all time. The first one to become who the one who is ridiculed all the time because an acient. Koran saved him after he tried to end his life but what he didn’t know that it caused monstrous side effects.
Terry gasps
Terry: Oh my God… that poor Shlorpian… he deserved better…
Korvo weeps
Terry: Oh Korvy. Why are you crying?
Korvo: That poor Shlorpian. He’s been through so much.
Terry: Yeah. I know…
Janiz: I agree…
Terry looks at the page and puts a hand on it as he slides on the picture of the Mundane in a empathy tone and sighs.
Shlorpian Frankie: What about Randall?
Korvo: *sighs* I’m sorry guys… we’ve done everything we could.
Terry: We're gonna have to return him to the wild.
Shlorpian Janice gasp in distraught, but then suddenly gets an idea as she looks at the woods and looks at Shlorpian Randall as she gets an idea smile. The scene cuts to the woods where Shlorpian Janice holds Shlorpian Randall and prepare to take off the leash while showing an encouraging smile.
Shlorpian Janice: H’no Randall, we all love you very much. *smiles* but we all think this is where you finally belong. And where you’ll be happy. Y’know. H’no So, *takes off the color off of Shlorpian Randall* you’re free my love. Whatever adventures you lie ahead of you, know that your friends and family will always be with you in your heart. Now go. Go on. Be free Y’know.
Just then, Shlorpian Janice gives Shlorpian Randall a kiss on the forehead. Then, when Randall starts to walk, he turns around and looks at Shlorpian Janice as he suddenly struggles to talk.
Shlorpian Randall: J-Jan…
Shlorpian Janice: *gasp in joy*
Shlorpian Randall: J-Janice.
Shlorpian Janice: H'no, Randall, y'know?
Shlorpian Randall: *finally regaining his sanity* Janice!
Shlorpian Janice: HONEY!
Shlorpian Janice in tears of joy embraces her boyfriend in a kiss while the others get overjoyed by this moment.
All: Randall! *put their arms all around Randall*
Human Korvo: It’s good to have you back Randall!
Shlorpian Randall: Good to be back!
Later at home, the gang are at Phoebe’s relatives place where Uncle Randy decided to apologize as sighs in dismay.
Shlorpian Uncle Randy: I’m really really sorry about the whole mess. We were wrong to prank friend into going after a monster and turn him into an animal. So I was thinking we could call it, squaresies?
Shlorpian Phoebe: *sighs* Alright. Come on guys, let’s head home.
Human Terry gives Phoebe's family the "I'm watching you" gesture. The gang walks back home as the Shlorpian MacCarthy family looks on. Later that evening, Terry is looking at the Mundane book sadly while Korvo comes in.
Korvo: Terry?
Terry: Hey dear.
Korvo: What's wrong?
Terry: *sighs* Why do I feel empathy for the Mundane?
Korvo: It's kind of a weird feeling, huh? Wanna do some stargazing?
Terry: Oh sure.
The alien husbands lay down on the roof
Korvo: The stars sure are beautiful tonight.
Terry: They'll never be as beautiful as you, Korvy.
Korvo: *blushes* Thank you, darling.
The two alien husbands kiss while moaning lovingly
Terry: *moans lovingly but then starts to feel tired*
Korvo: You tired?
Terry: Mmm-hmm.
Korvo: *chuckles* Come on my love… let’s head to bed… *picks up Terry as they head into their bedroom*
The scene cuts to Yumyulack and Jesse asleep. Korvo and Terry are suddenly heard moaning.
Yumyulack: Oh God! *heads back to sleep while covering his ears*
Jesse: Ugh! Not again! *covers her ears with pillows.
Replicant Sonya: *moans as she covers her ears with her pillows*
Terry: *offscreen* Oh fuck yes, Korvy! More! Oooh!
The scene then cuts to Terry getting close to cumming
Super Shlorpian Korvo: Oh yes! *moans lovingly* Don’t stop now! I feel it getting close! *moans*
Terry: Fuck fuck fuck!
The two husbands moan in ecstasy as they cummed and snuggle close as they kiss on the lips. Super Shlorpian Korvo giggles.
Super Shlorpian Korvo: Nighty night my love… *falls asleep as Terry smiles and kisses him on the forehead*
Terry: Good night…
The two husband sleep as Super Shlorpian Korvo turns back to normal
Korvo: *snoring peacefully*
Terry smiles
Terry: I love you… *heads back to sleep but then starts whimpering in his sleep*
Terry then starts to have the same orange vision again as he began weeping softly in his sleep as his husband holds him in his sleep. Terry calms down.
Terry: *in his thoughts* What is happening to me?
THE END
#solar opposites#solar opposites au#solar opposites: the misadventures of the solars#tervo#korvo#terry solar opposites#british korvo#yumyulack#phoebe maccarthy#phoebe solar opposites#cheery smithers#sonya solar opposites#super shlorpian korvo#super shlorpian janiz#mundane terry#randall solar opposites#principal cooke solar opposites#miss frankie solar opposites#naomi solar opposites#alice solar opposites#louise solar opposites#lili solar opposites#evanescence
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Dude can I just say how much I adore Goose Bradshaw?
1. His name is Nick and I love that name
2. His smile,,,,dude he’s so dorky I love him
3. Loving father and husband!! it’s literally the cutest thing!! Him singing with Carole and little baby Bradley is so adorable <3
4. He twirls pens and draws and so as someone with ADHD, I have projected ADHD onto him <3
5. When he has the mask thing on while in the plane, his voice sounds all nasally and it’s kinda funny hehe
6. He is literally perfect bro I cannot find any character flaws (and will not care to find any 😌😌)
7. He loves Maverick so much 😭😭
8. He has a mustache and is tall, which…(looks over at my obsession with Mumbo Jumbo) tracks with my record
9. His style!! Hawaiian shirts and sunglasses! So cool!!
10. He plays piano and sings and will just sing out song lyrics at random times
11. HE SAYS YEE-HAW
12. He takes pictures :))
13. Bird name :D
Okay basically literally everything about this man is what I adore about him <3
He was too perfect for that world and that’s why the cinema gods had to get rid of him 😭😭😭
I own a pair of custom dogtags that are Goose’s, and unlike Maverick, I will NOT be throwing these into the ocean or getting rid of them anytime soon. I will be wearing them forever <3
#doctorsiren#not art#siren speaks#it’s just a ramble#top gun#goose bradshaw#nick bradshaw#nick goose bradshaw#I love him so much
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PINNED POST!
Oh hey, I should make a pinned post. Might be a good idea.
Hi, I'm Smokey.
ABOUT ME
I'm a dragon. I used to write a hell of a lot and I'm trying to get my mojo back. Burnout is a serious ass bitch.
I don't identify as trans offline, but to quote Thought Slime:
"I'm not fancy, I'll use whatever pronouns ya got lyin' around."
So, you can use: He/She/Any/All
My favorite pronoun joke, since I live in a particular state, is:
"My pronouns are yee/haw."
I do however stan all my trans brothers, sisters, and non-binary siblings. You better respect trans folks or your pronouns are gonna be was/were.
👴👵HOW OLD AM I👵👴
A lotta of folks put "AGE IN BIO OR YOU'RE BLOCKED" or "MINORS DO NOT INTERACT" or something like that.
Here's my answer. I'm an elder millennial.
If that's not good enough, here. I'm older than this:
No, I'm not going to put my actual age in my bio.
No, I'm not going to put my birth year in my bio.
If "Elder Millennial" or the "I'm older than $Movie" isn't good enough, well, sounds like a 'you' problem. Sorry.
"yOu cOuLd bE lYiNg aBoUt aLl oF tHat!"
So could someone who put a number in their bio.
🪄✨🌈POLITICS🌈✨🪄
I live in the United States (for my sins) and I'm a frothing, foaming, shrieking, screaming leftist.
Being an elder millennial that lived through:
A) 9/11 (I was in high school at the time)
B) 3 consecutive, once-in-a-lifetime, economic disasters (2000's oil price bubble, 2007-2010 subprime mortgage crisis, 2020 stock market crash)
C) The pandemic (and seeing people lose their fucking shit and prove that zombie movies are ENTIRELY plausible)
D) Just... well... everything that's happened with my country's government at various levels
...You could say I've been radicalized.
So, let's get the obvious political talking points out of the way and watch my follower count shrink a bit!
✊🏿Black Lives Matter✊🏿
🏳️⚧️Trans rights are human rights🏳️⚧️
🏳️🌈Stonewall was a riot🏳️🌈
Sex work is real work
Forced birth is a form of torture
Cars suck
Give us public transport, walkable cities, & high speed rail
N@zis can fuck right the hell off into a god damned volcano
Same with t3rfs, biological essentialists, crypto douchebags, "AI" techbro fucksticks, and libertarians who think age of consent means "mental maturity"
Palestine will be free
This doesn't make it okay to be an antisemitism
Supporting Palestine does not mean "Eradicate the Jews"
Protesting antisemitism does not mean protesting Palestine
The Israeli State does not equal The Israeli People
Hamas does not equal The Palestinian People
Trumpists and MAGA are fascists and white supremacists
Same with Qanon
Same with all the far right schmucks like the oath keepers, the 3 percenters, the proud boys, the KKK, and other similar groups
Capitalism is just feudalism with extra steps
When forced to choose between money and a sustainable world, Capitalists will always choose money and let the rest of us burn
Eat the fucking rich
I believe in pursuing the maximum amount of freedom for the maximum number of people
This is, of course, not a complete list.
Heh, I'm sure that'll piss of a LOT of people. And I'm totally down with that. If you're offended by any of this, please, cry some more. And feel free to leave nasty comments or mean asks or whatever. Just lets me know who to block! Thank you for outing yourself!
If you wanna show solidarity with any of this, just reblog with a 🐉or a 🐲. Why a dragon? Because dragons are cool. No I'm not biased.
⭐WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT ON THIS BLOG⭐
I'm probably going to include a broad mix of things. Some of it will be suitable for all audiences, but a lot of it VERY MUCH NOT.
Things I will likely reblog:
Funny memes
Important news/posts/political updates
Wholesome stuff
Plenty of generally queer affirming stuff
This includes aro/ace folks, ya'll are valid too
Plenty of explicitly trans affirming stuff
Art that I like (cute)
Art that I like (impressive)
Art that I like (adult/kink related)
Adult/kink related posts in general
Furry stuff
I would say "LOTS AND LOTS OF FURRY STUFF" but it feels like Tumblr isn't all that prime a spot for furries, but I stan what I can when I find it
🫷You said adult/kink--is this a PORN blog!?!🫸
Not explicitly, because Tumblr is a coward. I'm old enough to remember when this place used to allow straight up porn. Then the great puritanical purge happened. Still, this blog stans sexytimes and those who create stuff in that vein.
Kinks/fetishes you'll see me reblog (if I find it and I like it):
Vore (Soft, safe, endo, almost exclusively consenting)
Various forms that can fall under this, like unbirthing
Pregnancy (fpreg, mpreg, nbpreg, tpreg, it's all good)
Transformation
Gender transformation
I honestly don't know if this is the right term for this
Someone's sex/gender changing through sciencey or magical means
Big strong dudes/ladies/enbies
Twinkish dudes/ladies/enbies
Size difference
CONSENT. I HAVE A HUGE CONSENSUAL KINK.
ENTHUSIASTIC CONSENT IS HOT.
NOT EVEN REALLY AS A KINK BUT JUST KNOWING & UNDERSTANDING THAT THE INVOLVED PARTIES ARE INTO WHAT'S HAPPENING IS SUPER FUCKING IMPORTANT.
Other weird things that I can't think to include here
All of this is stuff that I've written smutty stories about in the past (and I'm trying to get back into the swing of writing, again, burnout is a bitch). If you wanna know more about that, feel free to ask about it.
Things I am NOT into and will almost assuredly avoid:
Vore (Hard, cruel, fatal)
Pregnancy, specifically birthing
Non-consensual stuff
Piss, scat, vomit, blood
Omegaverse
Macro/Micro aka Giant/Giantess
Underage characters (minimum age: 18)
"Aged Up" characters that are clearly just an excuse to get around the underage problem
This is, of course, not a complete list.
DNI ACCOUNTS
Minors
Porn bots
Fascists, racists, t3rfs, zionists, ✨CHRISTIANS™✨
Crypto assholes
"AI Art" and ChatGPT assholes
This is, of course, not a complete list.
I think that's plenty to put in a pinned post... probably too much, very TL;DR I'm sure. But whatever. If someone complains to me about something that they could have learned by just reading it here, well... it's their own damn fault.
Anyway, be kind and stay weird.
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“Please Look at Me.” - Charles Smith
From an old event I did called the Sad Yee Haw Hours:
Slimeballll asked: HEY BISH 💕 can I please request 17 “please look at me” with Charles 🥰 gimme allll the angst 😩😘
rdr2 masterlist
You know how I said my prior Charles request hurt? This one slapped me across the face and ripped my heart out. I think this is hurt Charles hours. :’) Enjoy babes! I hope you got tissues!
Originally published on June 17, 2020
Charles Smith x Reader (Gender-Neutral/Non-Binary)
Scenario Starter Number 17: “Please look at me.”
Warnings: Sinning once more for hurting this man : (, angst, reader and Charles have been a couple years before joining the Van Der Linde gang au, Mentions of cheating (Arthur with Reader), oops
Words: 837
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“Please look at me.”
Your voice is shaking as the guilt eats you up whole. You have never witnessed this man ever cry until now. In all your years of being together, you have never seen him break down like this. You didn’t expect this at all. You had thought he was losing feelings for you so of course, you started to distance yourself.
Why wouldn’t you? You didn’t want to stay with someone who no longer looks at you with love and care. Sure, he has his moments but he’s been detached and stressed from moving from Colter to Horseshoe Overlook. It’s been a stressful few months, you should have given him the benefit of a doubt, but you didn’t.
Instead, you made a mistake and now you’re paying the price for it.
You go to beg him again, ignoring the obvious eavesdroppers in the group, but he finally looks at you. His eyes are misty, filled with hurt, distrust, and it nearly kills you right there and then. He lets out a sigh as his hand goes to fix his hair.
“I don’t want to look at you. Looking at you right now fills me with disgust,” He states honestly.
Seeing your eyes water at this makes him look away. You reach for his free hand and he freezes at your touch. He never freezes with your touch, he always leans into it. You fucked up.
“It was just one night. It was a stupid mistake, it’ll never happen agai-“
He cuts you off with a glare. He takes a moment to control his anger and speaks as calmly as he can. “A mistake? You were supposed to be back within an hour or so. You deliberately stayed the night in the middle of nowhere with him. He admitted you seduced him. What you did was not a mistake but a choice,” Charles states his eyes growing cold.
“Charles I love you. I never meant to hurt you. I had too many dri-“
He cuts you off again. This time the anger and disappointment rising as he tries desperately to keep his cool. “I would’ve believed your tale if Arthur hadn’t come clean first. It’s sad that my friend did this to me but he came clean and ratted you out. You had no intentions to tell me what you did. He told me drinks were involved after his camp was set-up. You knew your intentions the second you decided not to come home straight to me,” He says.
When you can’t say anything to defend yourself he scoffs and continues. “Not even that. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice the looks you gave Arthur at Colter leading up to here? It’s the same look I always gave you and that you used to give me. I can only assume that you started to take an interest in him and acted on it. That’s the only way that Arthur would have hurt me like that but for you to hurt me like this? It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.”
You feel sick. You feel so sick and disgusted with yourself. It’s like your gut keeps twisting into knots. You hate what you did now that you see the aftermath. It wasn’t worth hurting Charles like this. It wasn’t worth feeling a different person’s touch because you thought Charles and you were slowly losing love. It was your fault and now you don’t know if there is a way to salvage it. Especially, with the way he is looking and speaking to you.
“You threw away all of our years together…” He says seeming to no longer have any anger in him, just disappointment.
Your eyes widen and bring up the hand you are desperately holding onto and make it cup your cheek. You plea with him. “Charles, look at me. I’m still your partner. I’m still the person you love.”
He shakes his head and pulls away. The sting in your heart is growing and you can’t fix it. This is unfixable.
He confirms this. “You threw away all of our years together. I wanted to live the rest of my life with you but not anymore. I thought I can work past this before confronting you but I can’t. I just don’t get how you can do that to a person, make them feel as if they are nothing and then expect nothing to change. By the end of the week either I’m leaving this group or you are.”
Before you can beg him more or he can spare you another glance he turns to leave needing to be alone. You watch him stalk off until you gather yourself and take a look around. The eavesdroppers in the group are glaring at you and you already know that it is you who is leaving this group.
You are going to leave the one man who was your peace all because you fucked up and hurt him. Maybe you deserve the lone path.
#softrozene writes#rdr2 x reader#red dead redemption 2 x reader#charles smith x reader#rdr2 charles#gender-neutral reader#nonbinary reader#angst
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Re-Review: Dukes of Hazzard
The Dukes of Hazzard Role-Playing Game, Yee-Haw Entertainment, 1983
When someone pointed me to this old review of the The Dukes of Hazzard RPG, I had to check it out. There's a whole range of games that came from the side of the hobby that gave us the Dallas RPG, and they really don't get enough attention. I decided to give it a look and see whether I agree with the original reviewer.
There's a glaring issue with this game and I'm going to talk about it last. Rest assured that I have not missed it or forgotten it.
I agree with the reviewer that some of the rules are totally broken. The resource-building phase is the worst of that, especially in that you have three actions to spend and most things cost zero of those. That you can stock up as much gas and exploding arrows as you want seems fine. That you can loop "go broke" (zero actions, -$500) and "beg and borrow" (zero actions, +$1000) to net $500 cash as many times as you want really destroys the "blue collar country life" vibe right away. Chargen is unbalanced on a MSH level - you might end up with five great stats, you might end up with five lousy ones, and there's no compensation.
The cards, though, those provide a level of chaos I think is appropriate for the game. Sometimes you get away instantly, sometimes you get run into a trap instantly, sometimes you have a running chase for half the episode. In a more modern game you'd do it with an explicit momentum mechanic, but for a game of its age this is pretty reasonable. None of the cards really end plotlines, they just change venues and alter resources.
The setting part of the book is part TV-Guide-level episode synopses, part stills from the show (which print really poorly in black-and-white), occasional maps for pieces of Hazzard County, and weird trivia about the show's production, the actors, and the characters. It reminds me a little of the setting part of the Tenchi Muyo RPG. If you don't know the show, it gives you some idea of what you'll have to work with, but if you don't know the show you're almost certainly not buying this game.
Ok. Time to deal with the real issue with the game.
When I was a kid I loved The Dukes of Hazzard. This is because I was a child, and one who grew up in one of the whitest states in the union. I just liked that Country Man Drive Fast Car Shoot Bow Go Boom. The goddamn car has the supposed Confederate flag on the roof and I genuinely had no idea what it meant. Seriously. That's how deficient my education was. I'd hear people say "The south will rise again!" and my thoughts were generally "Sure it will, loser" and not "Let me take a few steps away from this racist." So yeah - whole game's rotten from the core. Like Boomslang, you could strip it for parts, but you're better off borrowing things from a better game.
I did manage to get in touch with the original reviewer. He said that he would definitely bring up the series' inherent racism if he were to redo his review. My guess is that he was kind of in the same place I was, though I couldn't say for sure. We're both lucky that we got the chance to learn.
And we're also lucky, as he said in his review, that the game failed to gain a foothold. You won't find this one for sale any more.
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Translator, Trespasser