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knightyoomyoui · 2 months

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[SMUT] TWICE Tzuyu x Male Reader - "First Time"

Here's a Tzuyu smut for 2024, which is the first and one of my two remaining smut fics left before I offically end my TWICE smut anthology series. I guess I can't give that much hint already for what's gonna be the final one, since I feel that you guys know already if I say that it would be my toughest challenge so far on both writing one-shot fanfic and a smut genre respectively. Just noticed that simply my main agenda right now after returning for my hiatus is to finish everything I've left behind that are this close from being complete, and it all starts here. Enjoy reading, you horndogs lol. WARNING: mature content, contains smut, +18 WORD COUNT: 5800+ TAGS: friends with benefits, vanilla sex, masturbation, oral sex, thigh fuck, blowjob, pussy licking, ass eating, fluff, doggystyle, anal, body worship

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You are heavily concentrated on the project that you are currently working on your desktop. It was already 11PM and you haven't had any dinner yet since you're the type of person who wants to finish a work when so invested in just one sitting.

Stretching your back on your swivel chair for a second after you switched to another template in your editing application, you heard your doorbell rang from outside. It surprised you because it's unlikely to have visitors at this rate of time.

Eyeing the heavy long metal beside your door, you carefully made your walk through the door and braced yourself to open it. Gripping the doorknob tight, you slowly turn it. Before you were about to swung it open, a familiar voice spoke from the outside, even surprising you more.

"Y-YN a-are you still there?"

She might have probably seen the lights from your windows still open, and essentially confirming if you are still awake inside or not anymore as she knows that you can sleep on either the lights are off or on, and she's aware also of what time is it already for her to do this.

Any threat or risks that you felt was completely swooped away when you heard her voice. Opening the door wide, there you saw your bestfriend Tzuyu standing in front of you.

As she raises her head, your eyes caught a glimpse of her own... and it doesn't share the same good condition. Her looks baggy, reddish, and... watery.

"Tzuyu, what brings you here?" You asked her curiously. "A-and... did you cried?"

Tzuyu nodded and in a swift moment, she slowly comes up to you and hugged you. You were dumbstrucked at her actions and what happened to her that made her be like this, but what matters first is that this poor lady in your arms definitely needs some comfort.

Raising your arm, you gently patted and rubbed her back as you let her pour all her tears on your shoulder. "Just let it out, Tzuyu. I don't know what is going on, but I'm here for you okay?"

That's the reason why Tzuyu primarily chose to come right at you whenever she needs help. You were just there all the time for her, and it's so rare for people to make an alloted time for their special someone to accompany them whenever they need to.

"Let's go inside, it's already late." You invited her in to the house. She quickly followed and remove her grasp at you as you paved the way for her to enter.

She stepped inside, and you closed the door. "Let's go there." You pointed at the couch next to your workplace.

Tzuyu silently followed your command before she finally spoke as she got to sit comfortably. "Thanks for this, YN." Her voice was shaky and rough.

"What happened, Tzuyu? Is something wrong going on?" You asked her as you poured some hot glass of milk and cookies for her. "I know you always come by for my help but I didn't expect you to be here in the middle of the night."

"I-it's my parents." She wiped her tears off and clasped her hands together, laying them down on her lap. "They're having another huge miscommunication again. It's been like that for almost a week already, and I can't stand it anymore seeing them like that. I had enough, that's why I decided to run away and come seek for a place to stay in... through you."

You understood her purpose of appearing here immediately. "And you're free to stay here whenever you want, I'll do everything for my friend." Tzuyu smiled at that, but almost sincere as she felt slightly different at that statement. "What was your parents arguing about, if I may ask?"

"It's about my dad going out frequently these days looking for some cash to borrow from. I think he's been into loaning for sometime, much less to our knowledge. He got fired from work when the company he was working in decided not to accept everyone who has a health condition due to safety regulations, and he got both detected that he has acute diabetes and is already middle aged." Tzuyu began to explain.

"My mom was a stylist at a salon but her salary wasn't enough now for just us to sustain because we need it now too for my dad's treatment. Then, just now, they got into an argument when my mom learns that my dad was secretly making loan from most people these days without her permission. You know how loan sharks can be dangerous, right? But my dad just defended that he just want to do something for us to still gain money and he doesn't want to stay at home doing nothing for her family."

Tzuyu started to tear up once again, from the mixed emotions she's having from both of her parent's side in their tough situation. You once again assisted her by giving her a clean cloth to wipe her tears away. "Now I get it. I do understand your father's point though. It's hard for a parent to just find their selves doing nothing when they know the hard time their family must've been going through.

It's their responsibility to take care and provide their daily needs, and not doing that so will ick them uncomfortably. Even if doing loans was also quite not a good idea, atleast you can see how your father loves you and your mom. Your mom was just angry at your fad because she doesn't want him to get in danger once he couldn't be able to pay all his dues in no time."

Tzuyu nodded at you, pinpointing all the comments you have to say regarding her concern, as it makes sense anyway. "I was starting to consider to help them by looking for some job to do to earn money for them, but I'm not that decided yet plus... I don't really feel it yet to engage at work while I'm still studying you know."

"Ahh, the fear that you might be unable to do both of them simulteanously, huh. You don't want to fail your grades, isn't it?"

"Yeah." You were right. You know Tzuyu to be actually a smart girl based from the earlier times when you first met her and your experience of her being your classmate. She has a lot of potential, but what you like about her is that she's careful on using those and avoid the possibility of wasting it on the wrong time.

"You know what, save it for tomorrow. You should go to rest, you look unsettled at the moment. It's already midnight." You mentioned as you looked once again in her droopy eyes and gloomy demeanor. "We can talk about this again for tomorrow."

"T-thank you again, YN." You nodded for her gratitude. "Stay here, okay? You want to watch TV?" She agreed. You opened it for her. "Entertain yourself there with your milk and cookies, I'll be just finish my task here."

She obliged, and she lets you do your thing there on the desktop. Minutes have passed, and with all those glances Tzuyu has been giving on your busy self, she began to get curious at what actually you are doing.

She stood from her seat and approaches you. Peeking at the monitor of your computer, you were shocked when she ducked next to your side, her pretty face almost inches away from you.

Your fingers nervously types from the keyboard and moves the mouse as you just let her observe what you are doing. "What's for the edit?"

"Commission." You simply answered. "Client requested to create a presentation for her upcoming thesis research. She has no other time left because she spent too much researching and revising her topic. Good thing she already has parts prepared for me to input for each slides."

Tzuyu hummed. She continues to watch you do your work while also admiring the fact that you are doing a sideline also apart from your current education. "So you are part-timing too?"

"Freelancing to be exact. I'm the one who looks for clients and offer service. Mostly editing, as you can see."

You started to sense the purpose pf her inquiry. "You know Tzuyu, my only advice about what you're planning is that you are doing right. Don't rush about it. If you don't feel the passion of it then don't head straight. It's hard to do something that you didn't even feel doing in the first place."

Tzuyu keeps that in mind. "Can I put up some suggestions?"

"Sure do. Would love to hear it from you."

She then began to point out some more details she can imagine in her head and you judged it with her by trying it on your work. It almost took half an hour before you finally finish it, saving you some more time of impring your butt too much on the chair for sitting too long and tiring yourself up.

Fortunately, Tzuyu helped you to wrap up early. "Oh wow, I didn't know you were so good at designing. Tzuyu, I swear I see some potential in you."

Tzuyu blushed and became embarassed. "Damn it, YN. Stop fluttering me." You chuckled and awwed at her cuteness. "But thank you."

"You should consider freelancing too, maybe you can attract a client that pays a lot but I hope you can endure the huge assignment."

"I'll take note of it." She nodded. You noticed that she already emptied her milk and cookies. "Cmon, let's get you to your room for tonight."

Tzuyu followed you and both ended up in a bedroom that is cozy and suitable enough for a single person to be used. "You can sleep on the bed, I'll be here on my extra cushion here."

She gasped and became shy at your gentleman act. "B-but, YN... this is y-your room. I'm fine-"

"No buts, no ifs. You are a woman who should be treated with respect. Now please, you can take mine for the night."

You were about to set up the cushion on the floor but Tzuyu tugged your arm. "Yes?"

"C-can you just stay with me on the bed?"

You became speechless at her request. The fact that you are about to sleep with Tzuyu close to you has effectively boosted the blood cursing through your body, creating goosebumps on your skin. You became red and flustered about it.

"W-what? Why?"

"I- I can't sleep without hugging something." Tzuyu pouted.

"I have an extra pillow though."

"I need something big that fits me to cuddle." Her voice became even more softer. You sweared that your heart is about to melt. "I have a life-sized bear that my mom bought for me since I was a kid on my home but I don't want to go back there for now. So... c-can you be my cuddle bear for now, if you might?"

You sighed heavily at how Tzuyu looks so pure and beautiful pleading at you with her puppy eyes and that mellow visuals. This is what's pulling you back: it's your freaking crush and the idea of sleeping with her on the same space, same bed is what's unraveling your lack of composure.

But you don't want your friend to be sad and disappointed because of your stubborness. "Alright, fine. You can hug me in your sleep."

"Yay! Thank you, YN!"

Both of you laid down on the bed you turned around with Tzuyu facing your back, as you can't endure much longer seeing her face too long, although it would be a delight to have such this wonderful sight before you sleep and to wake up in the morning.

She wraps her arms at your waist and hugged you tightly. You blushed when you felt her soft breasts squished on your upper back, sending your heart to race. She buries her face at the crook of your neck before sending a chilling whisper close to your ear.

"Goodnight, YN."

"G-goodnight, Tzu..." You breathily replied before you and her doze off to slumber.

The next morning, Tzuyu woke up first than you. Her eyes slowly opened, regaining her sight, and the first thing she saw was your side-profile. You were now laying flat on your back beside her.

She indulges the pleasant view of your peaceful state, smiling on her own happiness to have such an amazing friend and an irresistable crush like you. Although her frown began to shape from her lips when she remembered the reality that she is still uncertain if you do feel the same for her.

Intaking this moment of you and her in one bed, nothing around but a room filled of silence and being struck by the bright sunlight of the morning. She looked at your bodies laying together until her eyebrows furrow when she spotted something strange under you.

Tzuyu saw a hump-shaped formed onto the blanket that is covering your lower blanket. She was curious to see what it is as she noticed how it almost seemed like it's moving.

Taking off the blanket around you, it had her thinking twice if what she just did is not right at all.

But that doesn't mean she didn't like it at all.

Tzuyu was staring at the source of that hump, and that is coming from your short that is having a tent marked on your crotch.

Unlike from the blanket, what she's looking at was even more obvious at what shape it is. It was long, large and diagonally laying down, measuring it as it reaches down to the upper part of your thigh.

Tzuyu was blushing hard as she realized that she just witnessed you having the most common thing for boys: a morningwood. You have no idea at all that you have a woman beside you who is clearly seeing how hard you can get with whatever reason it may be.

She became so curious, almost deciding if she'll take a touch of it to found out what it feels. Her hands raised up and fidgeting to go forward onto your crotch.

That is, until she got interrupted when she shrieked a little as she saw you moved, and your new position got her swallowing her threat and nervousness crawling inside.

You are now laying sideways, with your front figure now facing her. Tzuyu can feel your morningwood pressing against her bare thighs, and she swear that it's driving her hormones crazy when her skin can feel the warmth of your covered erected cock laying down on her touch.

"He feels so big, oh my goodness." Tzuyu whispered. She even teased it by gently bouncing your cock on her thigh by moving it up and down slowly. Her thighs start to rub with each other as she is beginning to become horny.

"N-no... control yourself, Tzu. You don't want to end up harassing your friend while sleeping. This isn't right." Tzuyu quickly shook her head before carefully removing herself away from your side, standing up from the bed.

As she is now on her feet, she glanced downwards and noticed a wet spot on her shorts. She was shocked to see that she got easily wet thinking about your elongated cock earlier. It had her panicked and rushed quickly at the bathroom to aid this.

Minutes later, you woke up after still in your morning wood, not having any clue that Tzuyu seen that beast earlier. You tried to fixed it by repositioning it on your boxers and hid it under the hem of your shirt.

You exit the bedroom and saw Tzuyu preparing your breakfast on the table. "Wow, Tzuyu I wasn't expecting that you'll be the one to cook." You chuckled as you saw the mouthwatering scrambled eggs and fried rice with the plates.

"Well, I don't want to do nothing while staying here you know. I want to remain productive too." Tzuyu smiled. Her eyes glided down to your shorts and remembering what she just saw almost distracted the stability of her mind. "G-good morn-ning, YN.", she awkwardly greeted you.

"Good morning too, Tzu. Let's eat?"

The two of you began to eat and start some random topics to talk during your breakfast. After both were finished, you volunteered to do some dishes while Tzuyu asks permission to take a shower in which you granted and willingly let her borrow your spare clothes for the meantime.

While you on your way back to the kitchen to grab a new clean rug from your storage area, you heard something that catched your attention from the bathroom door. Your hearing is very sharp and sensitive that's why you can immediately catch on the sounds around you.

And this one is a bit surprising and... enticing. You pressed your ear closer at the door and there you heard loud and clear the sound of someone moaning inside. It definitely is coming from Tzuyu and judging from the noise she's creating, you probably guessed that she must be doing something to satisfy her needs: and you cannot believe it that you have your girl bestfriend masturbating in the bathroom of your own freaking house.

You quickly rushed away out of the door when you noticed that the noise stopped. As you returned to the kitchen, you gently massaged your cock getting hard from that sultry noise.

Is s-she... Fuck, I'm getting turned on with my friend masturbating. Goddamn, control it YN. You don't want her to caught you acting lewd." You hissed yourself before continuing with your dishes.

Tzuyu emerged from the bathroom, just as time you finished washing dishes. You sheepishly avoided her by quickly grabbing your towel and take your turn next at the bathroom to shower.

As you stepped inside after closing the door to see Tzuyu sitting on the couch and looking at her phone, you looked around your bathroom and had you imagined Tzuyu doing her own business earlier in this exact spot.

It made you rush quickly on taking a bath while fighting with the urge to masturbate by squeezing and massaging your cock and balls with soap, basically edging yourself away from doing so.

It was then you finished, you realized that you forgot to bring your clothes with you at your rush. "I have to be quick."

You opened the door and was about to dash outside when it shocked you that Tzuyu was walking at the same direction as you, emerging out from the kitchen, resulting in her to collide at your naked body. Her feet accidentally pulled your towel after she slumped backwards to control her balance, causing your towel to unveil your lower part.

Both became speechless and flustered as you realized that your largened cock has now exposed to Tzuyu's innocent eyes. You tried to cover it with your hands despite it's massive size. "O-OH SHIT, TZUYU DON'T LOOK!"

You exclaimed to her but instead she remained staring, gawking at it's size. "Oh my god please turn around, i'll take back my towel. I'm so s-"

"You don't have to, I've seen it already."

"Huh?"

Your face crumpled in confusion at what Tzuyu said. "I-I've seen your thing a while ago after I woke up and I noticed that it's... h-hard. It's bulging on your boxers that I was concerned it might break it by itself."

"And I-I felt bad about it, I- I almost want to help it..." Tzuyu slowly steps forwards, removes your hands from blocking it and returns her sight at your cock now pointing at her, she inspects how it throbs everytime her eyes stare longer at it. "T-Tzuyu wait..."

"Does it give you difficulty right now, YN? I-I'm willing to help you, if you d-don't mind." Tzuyu looked at you with her mischievous soft demeanor. You gasped at her offer.

"But Tzuyu, are you sure about that? This is so embarassing but..."

"Hmm?"

"I don't have a problem w-with it, it's just that... oh God I can't form my words coming out of my mouth well!"

"Don't stress yourself, you said it already." Tzuyu shushed you as she patted your chest. She leaned at your face and landed a surprise kiss on you, making your eyes widen and jaw drop more at her action. "For now, just let me repay you in return for helping me by doing t-the same for you~"

She slowly lowered herself down to her knees, now kneeling in front of you. Her eyes and now leveled equally with your cock facing at her. She bit her lips and viewed at it with mesmerizing gazes. "I've only seeing these from the internet, and I was so right that to see this in personal is a much better deal to admire. I might get addicted with this."

Her hands surrounded the thickness of your cock. She slowly pulls it and bends it upwards, tightening her grip before she starts pumping it in a dangerously slow pace. She heard your deep sigh and looked upwards to see your face floating in cloud nine.

"Does it feel good, YN?"

"Y-yeah, it does. God, it's so much better than using my own hand."

Tzuyu smiled at that compliment. She started to stroke you even more, her fist kept that grip before her other available hand started to come to play too, targeting your testicles.

Your hanging huge balls got fondled with care. "It feels so full and heavy, YN." She pointed out. "Are you even doing it?"

"Y-yeah..." you said as you started to hold her hair and rub it gently.

"How often?"

"J-just... two times in a week, sometimes months." Your breath became raggy as she began increasing the speed of her fists jacking off your thick meat. "Oh god, Tzu..."

"Are you ready, YN?"

"For what?"

She didn't had to reply verbally, but instead gave you the answer orally by circling your mushroom head leaking pre-cum already with her tongue.

"S-shit! I'm sensitive t-there, oh!" You gasped loud as Tzuyu continues to do foreplay on your helpless cock, licking the entire length and juggling each of your balls with her puckered mouth.

After feeling satisfied, she now puts your entire meat inside her mouth and starts bobbing her head off. She fucked herself with an increasing force until her nose is now touching your groin.

Tzuyu pointed at her head and hair to signal you something in which you understood right away. You gripped it and started doing the favor on your own by fucking her mouth with your own choosing of speed.

Your desire on having such lustful act with Tzuyu is making you overwhelm, urging you to participate further in this with her. With the tightening of your groin, you mercilessly pounded her face to race through the end.

"I'm cumming, Tzuyu. Where do you want me in?"

Tzuyu just pointed at her throat. Few pumps and that's all it took for you to blast off your warm seed, filling up her mouth with your load that was saved up for months of your inactivity to ejaculate.

She slowly lets go of your cock with a loud pop before cleaning her lips with the remaining traces of cum left. "We can do it right here, but my pussy is unavailable for now. I-I don't want to get pregnant y-yet..."

"It's fine, Tzuyu. I respect that." You got her point. She must be fearing that she might cause additional stress for her parents in the middle of their financial crisis just to assist her on supporting her pregnancy and the child's needs once she gave birth to it.

You took a mental note that now you're having sex with her, a necessary caution would be required first to perform to ensure the safety.

"But that doesn't mean we can't pleasure ourselves anymore without that. You can still use my body... wear condoms, but only for this another hole I got behind me." She said as she stood up and turned her back on you, making her posture upright as she presents you her ass and rubbing it on your cock.

You had enough of her teasing, you lifted her shirt up and pulled her through her torso. Your hands climbed up to her bra-covered boobs. They are average sized at it's finest, perfect enough to fit in your palm.

You unclasped her bra and removed it around her, now playing on her naked tits while you devoured her neck with supple kisses. She purred and yelped at the sensation she's getting from you pleasing her.

Your fingers pinched and twirling her nipples before you turned her around and made her kiss you. You carried her body and brought her on the couch while she is wrapped around you.

You sat on the couch with her on your lap. Letting go of her lips, you then head on to her breasts by give the attention it deserves, sucking and licking the light-brown delectable areolas and nipples that she have while massaging each it to intensify the pleasure.

Tzuyu was just moaning at your active mouth running around her sensitive area. Your hands then moved around her ass as you kneaded her cheeks from her short before you hooked on the waistband and removed it from her legs.

Her now exposed underwear is the only garment she has left. She crawled on the bed and went all fours. You switched behind her and kneeled, facing her alluring ass as you removed her underwear and took a sniff on it.

Her asshole and the outline of her restricted pussy is now visible to your hungry eyes. Without no more hesitation, you rubbed yourself around her cheeks, making her gasp at the air that you blew from your nose and mouth having in contact with her private areas, tickling her into goosebumps.

You start licking her pussy, wiggling her outer walls before you spreaded it with your fingers then inserted it inside, making Tzuyu scream in surprise. Your mouth then worked next on her hole and sucked on each of her cheeks to grab a taste of her cake.

"Mmmhhmmphhh yeah you're so good at this, YN oh fuck~" she said while grinding her ass across your face and feel your fingers pumping back and forth in her pussy. She started to shiver when you quickened your movement, leaving her in a screaming, groaning mess.

"Ughhh yes fuck fuck fuck YN i'm so close, keep that fingers deep within me~" Tzuyu purred as she gripped tight at the back of the couch, enduring the huge pleasure being provided to her by her dear bestfriend.

"I'm cumming, i'm cumming on your face YN!" Tzuyu yelled before she squirted her love nectar straight to your awaiting face and mouth, tasting and slurping her juices as you slowly rode her orgasm out with slow fingering.

You didn't let Tzuyu to recover some more time as you stood up and jerked your cock at the gaps of her ass. "Are you ready, Tzu?"

"Yes, please. I can take it. I want it to be you, YN. You're the only one I trust."

"I'm glad so, Tzuyu. Tell me if I need to stop okay?"

She nodded. You directed your tip to her entrance and slowly entered. You heard Tzuyu groaned as each inch are now pressing her hole.

"A-ah wait, YN let me adjust." Tzuyu hissed and fixed her position in all fours. "Alright, continue."

You gently pushed deeper and now your cock is inside her ass. You started to move, and you gasped at how tight her ass feels around you, feeling the way she clench when your crotch bumps at her ass.

Sensing that this makes it even feel much better fucking her, you started clapping her ass as you feel like it. Tzuyu just continues to blabber random words of praises and constant moans while your speed changes from rough to vanilla.

Her sultry, sexy voice has reduced to a hum when she felt another splash of wamrth inside of her, but this time in her hole as you shoot another load of cum on her ass with regards to safety of commiting sex with her.

As you pulled out, you saw some few overflow out of her asshole. You gritted your teeth in guilt. "I-i'm sorry, I think I may have done it too much."

Tzuyu giggled and sighed at your considerate behavior. "Don't feel too bad about it, YN. It just means that you really gave it all... which is what I really want from you." She winked.

You blushed before standing back up. "I'm gonna go grab some tissue." You said as you left her for a while before going back to wipe the remaining cum on her ass to keep the couch left unstained with the smell of sex.

"Want to go for one more round?" She challenged you with a smirk as she sat properly beside you, crossing her legs.

"I'm in. What do you want next?"

"Hmm, I think it's time for you to decide for this one. I'm already satisfied with my own cravings, now it's your turn." Tzuyu said, posing herself like she's in deep thoughts. "May I ask you one? What part of my body do you actually admire?"

You traced her naked body but there's this one specific part that drives you crazy whenever you get hynoptized at it's perfect shape and thickness. "If i'm going to be honest, your best gift that was sculpted by the gods for you is your heavenly thighs, Tzu." You swayed your head while whistling at how magnificent it looks.

"Tell me more about it." She flirtatiously whispered at you while playing with your hair.

"I love your ass, those cute tits and that talented mouth too, but your thighs are just too immaculate. Too unmatchable. It's so jiggly..." You started to ran your hands around her well-built thighs. "So smooth, so thick... I would be really honored to be suffocated in these damn pillows."

"Now you gave me an idea to show me what more of these can do." Tzuyu winked. She reaches for your semi-limp cock, awakening it back to it's full size by flicking her fingers around the bulbous head. Her legs shifted above your lap, with your cock sandwiched between those voluptuous thighs to die for.

"And you are very lucky to experience such a rare service coming from such Thighwanese beauty." She smirks before she squishes your hardened cock and strokes its skin with her thighs by lifting both her legs up and down.

"Ugh... mmmphh oh~" You moaned at the relaxing feeling of her thick thighs pumping off your shaft, eager to empty your remaining load you got. Tzuyu was enjoying the sight of yourself trapped and savoring the sensation of her strongest exual appeal.

"How does it feel having my thighs wrapped around your big cock, YN?"

"It's amazing..." You shut your eyes and gasped heavily at the feeling. "Shit, I can't hold much longer if you're doing like this to me Tzu!"

"Cum. Cum for me, YN. Let it out."

You assisted her legs on stroking you by holding her ankles while you buckle your hips, banging her juicy thighs smeared with your pre-cum as it ripples from the impact until you shoot another stream of sticky cum all over it including her knees.

Tzuyu lets you rest as she removes her legs from you and scooped all your cum on her fingers before eating it. She also cleaned your softening cock in payback to what you did to her ass a while ago, sucking it off until no drops are left.

She laid her head beside your arm and cuddled at your body. "I'm sorry if this is too sudden, YN. I got carried away that I started to act like this."

"It's fine, Tzu. You just wanted to destress, let's say in such different way." You nodded. "But it doesn't matter, as long as I get to make you happy and satisfied, I'm always open to accompany you." You smiled at her and caressed her hair. However, it disappointed when you changed from becoming serious.

"And also, I should be thanking you too Tzuyu for this moment. I've only done this for the first time with a woman, and... to be honest I have to dare myself saying this to you that... you are my ideal girl. The one that I admire for months now. The one that my heart only prefers." Your confession was heard in such clear and simple statement by Tzuyu, and she was very strucked and touched listening at your words.

"And what we did means so much to me because I get to do it with the girl that I love, although it saddens me to think if do you even feel the same as mine. I know I could've confessed to you in a much better setting and better time but I just want to express it all right now to clarify that these isn't just driven from lust, but through my sincere admiration for you that is swirling inside my heart. I love you, Tzuyu."

Tzuyu pursed her lower lip and smiled sweetly at your message. She holds your hands and looked dearly at you. "I'm relieved to know that this is both our first-time having sex together. I was a bit nervous and shy at first but I just let my desire and desperate need of your touch control me, and I'm also glad that it has to be you too, YN. I couldn't imagine other deserving man than only you who I can allow take my virginity."

She went forward and turned your face at her to perform another passionate kiss. "Because I love you too, YN and I will cherish this moment that we did."

"Through that, I must take responsibility for this too. Now shall I ask you something then?" You said.

"Go on." She chuckled.

"Will you be my girlfriend, Tzuyu?"

She grinned brightly at your initiation. "I would be very willing to."

After your heated session with Tzuyu, both of you went to wash yourselves again while doing another quickie session after can't stop getting enough yet with your insatiable bodies.

Now back on getting dressed up, you and Tzuyu proceeded to discuss about her family problem story where you have finally lended some advices for her that might be helpful about their current situation.

More than a week later, you helped her to return back on their home after saving enough courage to confront her parents. When they saw her made her heading back to their home, the married Chou couple welcomed their daughter as they have now settled into peace.

Tzuyu and you then decided to maintain their relationship secret for the meantime as they start to date and explore their affection for each other further. You are also planning to accompany her on looking for a part-time job after she decided that she really needs it, as she prepares herself to balance it with her studies. Not forgetting this kind of relationship you established with her, you and Tzuyu would proceed to fulfill more of your fantasies together mostly taken place at your home like pleasuring yourselves in other various positions that involves rimming, entertaining yourself when one of you is bored by feasting on her pussy, boobs and your cock, or even your most favorite of them all: compressing your face in between her flawless ass and thighs until you end up unconscious.

#twice #twice fanfic #twice smut #tzuyu smut #twice x male reader #tzuyu x male reader #twice oneshot #twice au #kpop oneshot #kpop smut #kpop au #kpop fanfic #chou tzuyu #tzuyu

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whateveriwant · 8 months

Text

The Scenic Route

Modern/Non-Military AU

Summary: You, your boyfriend, and his best friend go on a road trip together. One night, when his friend's asleep in the backseat, you and your boyfriend get up to trouble in the front.

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader

Word Count: ~1.0k

Warnings: SMUT 18+ (fingering, vaginal sex, voyeurism/exhibitionism – both include an unknowing/unconsenting party)

A/N: Hello! This scenario actually came to me in a dream lol. I'm sorry I haven't posted much as of late, but I've been trying to get over a nasty bout of writer's block recently. This drabble is the first thing I've been able to finish in months, so as always, I hope you all enjoy! :)

Just imagine it: you, your boyfriend, and his best friend are on a cross-country road trip for the summer. After miles and miles traversing winding roads and visiting quaint, historic towns, what started out as a fun adventure has become… mmm, less so. Because the days, maybe weeks, stuck together in a metal box with wheels has left you feeling a little… frustrated, if you know what I mean.

It's no one's fault, really. That's just the nature of extensive group traveling. But your poor boyfriend's friend, bless his heart, has really received the brunt of your ire.

Though it's not technically his fault you're all pent up, you can't help but feel a sort of unjust bitterness towards him. It's just that all the times you and Simon have tried to sneak away for a little 'alone' time, his friend was always hot on your trails, interrupting whatever tryst you two were trying to engage in.

So now, well over a week into your trip, Simon can tell you're about to explode. Trust him, he feels the same way as you, so at the first opportunity he sees, he takes it.

One night, when his best friend is fast asleep in the backseat of the car, Simon suddenly pulls over on a stretch of deserted highway. You think he's stopping because maybe there's something wrong with the vehicle, but then he's leaning over the center console, pressing his lips urgently to yours.

Immediately, you startle and try to push him back. "What are you—?"

"Shh," he hushes softly. "It's alright. He's asleep." He points his chin towards the snoring passenger.

And though a quick peek for yourself confirms Simon's words, that doesn't stop the concern from rising within you, especially as he undoes both your seatbelts. Even if his friend is dead asleep, he's still sitting just a few feet away in full view of everything. The proximity as well as possibility of him waking has you flooded with anxiety, and with your eyes locked on the sleeping figure, you try to protest your boyfriend, whose lips gently suck the hinge of your jaw.

"He could—"

But then Simon's big hand is down the front of your pants, swirling quick, tight circles around your neglected clit. You choke on a moan as he presses his fingertips hard against you, grabbing his collar when he dips lower, smearing them through your slick.

It feels so good yet so wrong all at the same time. But despite the guilt weighing on your conscience, ultimately, you can't help but be swept up in the moment.

Gaze still fixed on the man in the backseat, you let your boyfriend play with you however he wills. You twitch and groan, trying to keep your noises to a minimum, but it's difficult with how terribly brilliant he is at this.

He's smirking, the bastard, as he takes you apart right there on the side of the road. And when he stuffs you full with two fingers, causing your voice to suddenly pique, Simon urges with a low purr in your ear, "Shhhhhh... Don't wanna wake him, do you?"

~OR ALTERNATIVELY~

Simon, feeling like the third wheel on you and your boyfriend's road trip. Even though this trip had been planned for months and even though you two try to include him in everything, he can't shake that feeling of a deep tension directed towards him, from you in particular.

While you're not outwardly hostile to Simon, it's the little things he's picked up on. Like how multiple times he's caught you staring at him in the rearview mirror, or whenever he's accidentally brushed against you, you've reared back and caressed the spot like you'd just been burned.

And he gets it; he's not the most convivial of traveling companions. A few weeks crammed together can strain even the best of relationships, and especially so when you two weren't particularly close to begin with.

So imagine Simon's confusion when one night he's awoken by the gentle sway of the car rocking back and forth. At first, he thinks it's just the normal movements of a vehicle in drive. But then he hears something – the unmistakable sound of a woman's breathy moan – and his senses are suddenly on high alert.

With the motion of the cabin around him and the crude noises in his ears, it seems obvious what the two of you are getting up to. But they wouldn't, would they? Not when he's sitting right here.

Peeking one eye open, Simon's suspicions are confirmed as he sees you straddling your boyfriend in the driver's seat. Your arms are wound around the headrest, your face twisted up in pleasure, and Simon can just make out the naked skin of your hip as you bounce in his best friend's lap.

The sight is such a shock to the system that Simon's first instinct is to freeze, both lids flying open without thought. You two must've noticed him asleep and taken a chance to steal a quick moment together, and now he's an intruding third party who's become witness to something he was never meant to see.

Realizing what he's doing, he's about to feign sleep and pretend like nothing happened tomorrow. But before he can act, your eyes suddenly connect with his, and he finds he's hopelessly rooted to his spot.

Are you about to scream? About to cry out and call him a pervert?

So many possibilities run through Simon's mind, but what actually unfurls is even more surprising than anything he could've predicted.

Rather than being angry or shocked to see him peeping, you seem almost… amused. Aroused, if he didn't know better.

Keeping your gaze locked with Simon's, you flash a pleased, little smile, and continue eagerly fucking yourself on his best friend's cock. You toss your head back, grope your chest through your shirt, really put on a show for the man in the back all while the one in the front remains completely unaware.

And Simon, for his part, can't look away from the scene. Whether it's out of confusion or sheer curiosity, he watches on, keeping his eyes firmly glued to your figure.

Will either of you mention this come tomorrow morning? It's hard to say in the moment. But for now, as he's kept rapt by your performance, Simon's content to sit back and let this road lead him where it may.

__________

A/N: I'd love to know what you thought! Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!

#simon riley #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley smut #simon ghost riley smut #simon riley fanfiction #simon riley fanfic #cod x reader #cod mw2 #ghost mw2 #call of duty #modern warfare 2 #female reader

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windvexer · 4 months

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what part of your craft do you think looks the coolest? regardless of how powerful or helpful it is lol

Looks the coolest? Fun question :D

I'd definitely have to say the handicrafts.

I mean come on, he's so cool, right?

I really really enjoy creating things and I've made from scratch, or heavily modified, almost everything I use (exceptions being things like mortar and pestle or metal incense burners; these are things used to hold or make modified things).

Look at that. That's an orange doily over some cat bones, and that's weird, so I like it. I even made and enchanted the wick in the oil lamp :D

And look at this weird little dude! (I still haven't finished him yet):

I needed a Rosemary Guy, but the problem is that rosemary flakes really badly as it dries and I'd want to replace it. So I made him into a plant holder! I just think he's so cool.

So yeah I think that all the stuff I make looks really cool, making things is probably my favorite part of witchcraft in my life and it brings me so much joy ^-^

Thanks for sending this ask, thinking about all my little crafts has put me in a really good mood

(By the way I got the cast iron mortar and pestle from @upthewitchypunx 's shop and I really like it, I'd recommend one if you're looking to expand your toolset)

#answered

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abitohoney · 1 year

Note

Have I already sent you an ask about Sevika having a vibrate setting/function in her mech arm?

...

On the chance I haven't, here's an ask requesting your thoughts about Sevika having a vibrate setting/function in her mech arm lol.

Merry Crimmus!!!

No ma'am, I don't believe you have. So thank you for double checking as I have thoughts. 😈

My filthy thoughts below the cut... (NSFW, MDNI) Not sure I need to say this, but this is F!Reader

OFC her augmented arm has a friggin vibration function! What kind of sex goddess would she be without it?! (I mean, honestly, even if she didn't have one, she'd still be the BEST at leaving your mind blown, your thighs soaked and your mouth foaming.)

You think her strap game is brag worthy? Well, the shit she can do with that scary ass arm of hers will leave you fucked stupid for DAYS. No need to thank her either. Your dripping cunt and face of pure euphoria is thanks enough.

"C'mere, Sugar," Sevika calls to you, curling one of her dangerously sharp metal fingers in a come hither motion.

Obediently, you make your way to the booth Sevika currently occupies. Her booth. The same one she sits in every night off while she smokes, drinks and gambles the night away. She's just finished her last game of the night and is starting to count her earnings, of which you note are considerably higher than usual.

"Sit on Daddy's lap." She pats one of those deliciously thick thighs of hers while her lips curl into a smirk around her cigarillo. "Keep me warm while I count my winnings."

Smiling sweetly down at her, you set the drink you'd just fetched for her on the table beside her empty glass before taking a seat on her left thigh. Her prosthetic arm wraps around your waist, pulling you closer to her warm, solid body before resting her hand on top of your thigh. You recline back against her, the side of your head nestled in the space between her metal shoulder and her neck. Through her cloak, you can hear the muffled soft whirring of the fan housed near her shoulder. It's such a familiar sound, one you could only associate with her, and it's almost... soothing.

Removing her cigarillo, Sevika whispers a sweet, "Thanks for the drink," before pressing a kiss to your temple. Cigarillo held between her fingers, she takes a sip of her drink before taking a slow drag.

Watching the tendrils of smoke curl into the air, you sigh contentedly then turn your attention to Sevika counting the silver and gold coins piled on the table. You can't help but wonder what she spends all that coin on.

As if hearing your thoughts, Sevika brings her mouth closer to your ear to whisper, "Bought a nice upgrade for the arm a few days ago."

Assuming it's another weapon related feature, you reply with feigned interest, "Oh yeah? What is it?"

"Been itching to try it out," she replies, not really answering your question.

"Why haven't you yet?" You ask, knowing she's fishing for attention. Wants you to show how fascinated you are with her mech arm, or her in general really. Your eyes roam The Last Drop, searching for something to entertain yourself with while Sevika brags about whatever the hell she added. Unfortunately the bar is nearing closing time, and only a few patrons remain, mostly more of Silco's goons. Even the music is boring. Something soft, slow and quiet. Meant to drive the stragglers away.

"Waiting for the right opportunity," she replies, and it doesn't go unnoticed how her metal hand slips beneath the hem of your mini skirt to rest on the inside of your thigh. Not that those teasing touches are anything out of the ordinary from her, but you welcome that distraction right now.

Your mind starts to drift to... dirty thoughts as you just barely listen to her prattle on.

"Now seems like a good time," she husks, but the words don't fully register and you simply offer her a hum in response. "Think you can be quiet for Daddy?" She asks, and you feel her sleek metal fingers travel higher up your skirt until they rest against your clothed heat.

Fully tuning her out now, you're too busy watching those thick, callused fingers of hers move coins into neat stacks, imagining them buried deep inside your-

"Fuck!" You gasp, body lurching upright when you feel unexpected vibrations between your legs.

"You said you'd be quiet," Sevika hisses in your ear, her mech arm tightening around your waist and pulling you back against her.

"Sevika!" You whine softly. Her metal hand is currently pressed fully against your cunt and... and fucking vibrating! You squirm in her tight hold, trying desperately to get away before you start making inappropriate sounds, but she's not letting you go anywhere. Wide eyed, you frantically search the room to make sure nobody is watching the two of you. Even though it seems your little outburst has gone unnoticed, you still feel a rise in panic as those delightful vibrations threaten to break any control you have over your own damn mouth.

"Seems that was a good investment," she teases.

"S-Sevika," you stammer, "Not here!"

Sevika chuckles, sinfully low and cocky. "Nobody can see anything, Sugar. Now why don't you just lie still like a good girl and let's see how many times I can get you to cum while I finish up, hmm?"

"Y-Yes Daddy," you whimper.

Turns out she equipped her arm with numerous vibration settings. With each orgasm she draws from your trembling body, she finds a new setting that allows her to make that next one come quicker, harder. By the time she's finished counting her earnings, not only have you lost count of your own earnings, you're left so fucked out she has to carry your ass all the way back to her place.

But she doesn't stop at the vibrator function. This woman has a whole collection of attachments for her arm.

She'll use each one to play you like an instrument, have you hitting all the high notes (and even the low).

Making your way to Sevika's bed, you notice a large wooden box sitting on the nightstand. Having never noticed it during any of your previous stays, you peer down at it in curiosity. Running your fingers across the hinged lid, you realize something has been etched into the soft wood.

Pleasure Chest

Pleasure Chest?

"Sevika, what the hell is this?" You ask as you eye her suspiciously from over your shoulder.

She comes to stand beside you, lips curled into a smirk. "Can't you read, Sugar?"

"I can... but what the hell is 'Pleasure Chest' supposed to mean?"

When she simply arches a brow, it becomes apparent that you're just going to have to determine that yourself. One hand on either side of the lid, you slowly flip it open.

Oh for fucks sake.

"Seriously?" You ask as your eyes roam over a series of what are obviously attachments for her augmented arm. And not just any type of attachment. Nothing functional like blades. Nope. They are all designed for pleasure. Your pleasure, if the unmistakable cock shape is anything to go by. Hence that awful label she carved into the lid. And as if that wasn't absurd enough, she went so far as to have the case within velvet-lined and shadow-boxed to fit each unique piece.

Noticing a handle in the center, you lift it to reveal even more attachments in the bottom of the box. Setting the top tier back in place, you turn to Sevika, barely able to contain your laughter. "Is this what you've been spending all your gambling money on?"

"Go ahead and laugh, Sugar. Get it out of your system now, because tonight we're going to test each and every one of these, and you're going to thank Daddy for such a generous gift." She watches your expression closely, a wicked grin painting her face when your smile falters.

With a precise twist, push and pull off her metal hand, she disconnects it from what would be considered her wrist. A shimmer tube and several colored wires dangle between the sections, which she deftly disconnects before setting her metal hand on the nightstand. "Now be a good girl for Daddy. Strip and get your ass on that bed."

Your gaze flits from what is now a socket where her hand once was, to the attachment she's pulling from the chest. It's considerably more... soft and stretchy looking than some of the others. Like it's wrapped in loose skin. Realizing it has mating connectors for both the wire and the tube, your eyes blow wide.

Oh shit.

What the hell could she possibly need those for?

Your eyes shoot to her smug face, silently pleading for an explanation. When she doesn't supply one, simply just raises an expectant brow, you realize you haven't obeyed her orders.

"S-Sorry Daddy," you stammer quietly and immediately crawl onto the bed to start undressing, your eyes looking anywhere but at her while you hear her connect that... device to her arm.

Completely nude, you lie on your back, shifting and rubbing your thighs tightly together. You don't know if you should be terrified or excited for what she has in store. In all honesty, you're experiencing quite a bit of both when you feel the bed shift beneath you as she slowly crawls over you.

Her face hovers over yours for a moment. She just grins maliciously at your nervous expression, clearly enjoying watching you squirm with anticipation. And that's just as nerve-wracking as the possibilities running through your mind.

"Spread your legs," she demands, and you can feel her probing the apex of your thighs with the bulbous head of the attachment. You do, but almost immediately try to close them again when she suddenly, and unexpectedly, activates the shimmer in her arm. That was definitely not one of the possibilities you'd considered.

"Sevika," you cry out, startled and terrified at the prospect of her being hopped up on shimmer for any part of this. Her purple orbs glint with sadistic mirth as she forces your legs open with her thighs. Her human hand snatches both your wrists and pins them above your head, leaving you helpless beneath her.

And then, as that initial surge of fluid and electricity dies down, you hear what sounds like... a piston... or something pumping? Your eyes, still blown wide with surprise, slowly drop to the source of the sound. Between your legs is her augmented arm, glowing and pulsing with the power of shimmer. And that fucking attachment of hers is... thrusting.

"Now let's see if we can beat our previous record. How many times did you cum for me in the bar? 5? 6? Oh that's right, you don't remember, do you, Sugar? Fucked you too stupid, didn't I?" She sneers.

Judging by how many devices she has in that box- at least a dozen more- records were certainly going to be broken tonight. Right along with your vocal cords and your ability to walk for the next week. Not that you're complaining.

AN: I blame @master-sass-blast for giving me the Daddy kink. I didn't know I needed to call Sevika Daddy until I read her latest Sevika fic. (Go check it out if you haven't already. It's delicious!) Hope you're proud of yourself, Sass! 😆

#arcane #sevika #sevika x reader #sevika imagine #arcane sevika x reader #honey writes

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soupermarket · 1 month

Text

AAAAAHHH!!! Mer au be upon ye

Been working on designs for my fanfic (that I'll probably be rewriting I don't like how I characterized them).... fish archie.

He's based on a Demanson's Cichlid :3 which are. really difficult to draw for some reason

More under the cut!!! Fish rambling and lore stuff. Plus fish maxie that I am currently too lazy to color or otherwise finish

Man I love mer aus. Uhm. FISH BEAM BLAST AUGHHH!!!

Archie is currently 37 years old in this au (unless I change it. LOL)

Him, along with Matt and Shelly (and maybe other members of team aqua in the rewrite. idk), live in the wreckage of a ship fairly deep underwater, choosing to stay as far away from humans as possible. In contrast to this, Maxie and his group take more inspiration from humans in their little settlement thingy, choosing to take scraps of metal and other things to build their home.

Most merfolk live in groups called pods, in the rework of the fanfic I'll elaborate more on this but. I'm lazy right now. Sorry.

Anyways Archie is generally more like??? adventurous and stuff, and him and the other members of his pod are like. really tight-knit. They're also generally more muscular than the members of Maxie's group, choosing to hunt fish & other prey using their own strength and speed, whereas the magmas use traps and stuff.

Also. Maxie has a collection of little human trinkets and stuff. Most of the space in his den/house thing is just like. trinkets. He also has a very unfriendly relationship with dolphins. I admittedly haven't done much with it in the original since it's... y'know... one chapter at the moment... but ill do more in the rewrite i prommy.

ANYWAYS!!!! Fish beam blast MAXIE

He's a common mudskipper. I love common mudskippers and just mudskippers in general really. Top tier fish.

He doesn't have glasses because. reasons involving the fact that he lives in the ocean.

However. I plan on giving him glasses eventually, he'll probably find a pair and think "Oh joy!! A new human invention I have not yet seen! Joyous day!!" and he decides to constantly wear them even though they make his vision like, ten times Worse.

Goodbye for now. I will inevitably post more Fish later. like when i finish the maxie design. LOL!!

(If you would like to read the fanfic even though it's like. ugly at the moment. It's "Sunlight on the Ocean's Like the Scars on Your Skin" on a03. Enjoy.)

#my art #oras maxie #oras archie #merpeople #mer au #Hardenshipping mer au #hardenshipping #pokemon oras #oras #pokemon #pokemon fanart #Soup's oras Mer Au #aqua leader archie #magma leader maxie #team aqua #team magma

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imagines-by-cleo · 5 months

Note

Alright I’ll be adding another one to your numerous kaz requests😅can we get one where a female assassin (not Quiet lol) attempts to murder mgsv!Kaz and despite the hate he falls in love with her? I just thought the idea of Kaz having an ex assassin lover might be interesting.

and like everyone is saying…please take your time and don’t rush. Love your blog xoxo

~I'm back~ and omg I can't believe it took me until the new year to finish this. I've been writing this one bit by bit for the last couple months and I liked this prompt so much I'm almost sad to finish it. Thank you friend for thinking of this! Maybe I'll do a part two after I finish the rest of the requests and the few of my own I have in the works that should hopefully be out soon.

CW: SMUT, kinda dubcon, bondage, nipple play, teasing, fingering, orgasm denial, switch!Kaz, rough sex, unprotected sex, hair pulling

You gasped as another bucket full of freezing water was dumped over you, making you shudder and strain against the chains that held your arms above your head. Ready to shout another insult at the overdressed bastard that had been interrogating you until the swish of the sliding door echoed across the room and a stranger stepped in.

His presence held weight and his silence added to that, while you held your breath the only sound was the clanking of his cane on the metal floor slowly coming closer and closer.

"I tried everything, but unless you want me to seriously hurt her she's not gonna budge." The cowboy spoke, sounding just a little too excited as he hinted for permission to really get to work.

"That's not necessary." Kaz replied, sounding just the slightest bit defensive. "Let me talk to her. Alone."

"I don't think that's a good idea..."

"I don't care what you think." Kaz snapped back.

With a shrug the other man walked out of the room and you were left alone with your former target. If he wanted you dead it's likely he would have just killed you already, it was more possible that he wanted answers, secrets that you were in no position to be giving away. There was still a chance that you could save this mission from failure but if you cracked and gave away any information you would be dodging assassins better than yourself for the rest of your life.

He came closer in no hurry at all, clanking of his crutch hitting the metal floor echoed through the silent room like a doom drum. As he stood between you and the only light in the room he made a rather intimidating silhouette, towering over you in complete silence. Though you knew that his calm collected nature was just a ruse to put you in suspense you couldn't help but feel a little defeated as it was working.

"Let's start at the beginning." He said before starting his interrogation. "How did you get in?"

"Wouldn't you like to to know soldier boy?" You quipped, earning the smallest hint of a growl that he made quick work of silencing before he continued.

"Who do you work for?" He asked.

"You have a lot of enemies. Kaz." You teased, staring him down. "Just pick one to blame it on for now, it won't matter in the end."

"This doesn't have to be difficult." He stated, more reasonably than anyone who was almost murdered had a right to sound.

"Oh you haven't even seen difficult yet." You challenged, sounding more like a bratty child than a deadly assassin.

He quickly raised his hand, thinking he was going to hit you you flinched, not expecting to find him only reaching for the top button of your fatigues. It really did catch you off guard when he started to pop open each button slowly, one after the other until your whole front was undone and chest ready to be exposed by the slightest pull of the fabric.

Though the clothes still covered all that they were supposed to, the chilly wet fabric clinging tightly to your skin left little to the imagination. The sunglasses covering his eyes made it hard to tell where Kaz was looking yet you could still feel yourself shrinking under his gaze and fought your restraints with the urge to cover yourself.

Raising his hand to his mouth and biting down on the fingertip of his glove he pulled it off with his teeth then spit it onto the floor. He touched his bare hand to your neck, feeling how your breath was starting to quicken and more so when you knew he noticed, then pressing his thumb lightly over your windpipe he felt it stop. You found yourself wondering, doubting and then fearing again if a one handed man could even strangle you. Something in his firm grasp told you that he was ready to, and threatened, no, promised that he would.

His fingers moved, tracing your collar bone then stopping on the center of your chest, feeling your racing heartbeat for just a moment before slowly pulling one side of your shirt open. The touch of his hand on your skin felt both foreign and warm against your cold skin, even when he started to cup your uncovered breast it was difficult to reject.

"What are you doing?" You asked with an all too telling shake in your voice, receiving no answer from the man touching you.

You wanted to kick him away, spit at him maybe, call him a pervert or something worse, but the way he touched you was so meticulous and not at all a rushed taking of an opportunity. His touch was deliberate yet gentle, and the bitter scowl still stuck on his face told you that this wasn't for his enjoyment.

The cold water had already made your nipples stand out leaving them much easier to touch, he circled one with his thumb lightly toying with it and making you shudder. You did your best not to show a reaction and began to bite your lip in fear of making a noise as he continued to squeeze and massage the soft flesh in his grasp.

Soon his fingers started to wander lower, until they had reached a point that made you assess whether you should reject his touch or open up to it you found your body had already answered for you as your legs parted without any resistance. Truth be told there were certainly more horrible people to be captured by, even when you were looking at his file and saw the messy blonde hair and the mysterious shades you thought it would be a shame to kill him.

His fingers ran slowly up and down your slit, only brushing your clit with every other languid stroke. You could feel yourself getting wetter and eventually hear it too when you started to soak his fingers and make it easier for them to glide over your folds. When you rolled your hips forward to grind against his palm only finding he suddenly pulled his hand away, now you knew what his goal was.

"That's a dirty trick." You huffed, rubbing your thighs together though it was no substitute for his touch.

"Talk." He demanded, returning just one finger to rub little circles around your clit without ever really touching it.

"I can't." You growled in frustration. "They have other assassins ready to kill anyone that cracks."

His fingers moved down to circle your entrance, making you more and more desperate with each stroke. The satisfied look on his face as you got visibly closer to breaking was your only motivation to stay quiet. He leaned in close enough that you could feel his breath on your skin, the ghost of a touch of his lips on your ear seemed to hit every nerve in your body as he whispered.

"Are you sure you're so worried about that?" He asked, challenging the last bit of strength you had left.

One finger pressed in slowly, enough that you could savor the slight stretch which you couldn't tell whether it came from the thickness of the digit or how hard you had been clenching around it. Sliding in as deep as possible before curling, you moaned out loud as the feeling in the core grew more intense and demanded relief.

Kaz leaned in close until his lips where just ghosting over your own, you wanted to lean forward to kiss him but he was just out of reach. Still he lingered, tasting every breath growing deeper and faster while his fingers pumped in time. Just as you were sure you could cum all over his fingers he pulled his hand away.

"No, no, no, please!" You whimpered, trying to get his touch back before your release was lost.

"Tell me." He reiterated much to your frustration.

"It's XOF, okay? They sent me to kill you." You finally broke down and admitted not even caring about the consequences.

"What else do you know about them?" He continued.

"They don't tell me that much, probably in case I got captured, but they have more people they're gonna send if I don't come back."

"In that case we're gonna have to tighten up security around here..." His attention drifted off as he started to mentally plan.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you're a damn tease?" You jeered.

That seemed to be the only thing that broke his scowl as he let out a short laugh, he even seemed to stay amused as he turned and walked away. "Well if those assassins are only as skilled as you I guess we have nothing to worry about."

"Hey, where are you going?" You asked though you received no answer

Totally unbothered as he kept walking and not the slightest bit guilty for leaving you so desperately untouched as he entered the code and stepped out the door.

"Kaz, you can't leave me like this." You shouted after him shamelessly bargaining. "It's gotta be against the Geneva convention or something."

As as the door shut behind him and your begging shouts had turned into frustrated curses as you strained against your bonds. The room was left deadly silent making the sound of your pounding heart echo louder through your neglected body and you found yourself wishing that someone would have mercy and dump another bucket of cold water on you.

Ever since that day you had been working exclusively for the diamond dogs under the direct orders of Kazuhira Miller. Doing odd missions and assassinations that Big Boss was too busy to take care of, your most difficult mission so far was convincing everyone that you were no longer a threat, but for the most part you left that up to Kaz. Your loyalty lied only with him and for the worst reason, every day that you worked you counted yourself lucky that that no one else knew the truth or what your goals really were; although every once in a while you would get a knowing glance from that cowboy you met earlier.

Soon enough you had earned enough trust to have the privilege of a room of your own, it was hardly an upgrade from your cold cell but it at least had a proper bed, the only real problem was how empty it felt. The nights there were unbearable alone and you constantly found yourself tossing and turning with an insatiable need burning through your body. Your own touch was hardly enough to satisfy, even when you pretended your fingers were his while tracing all the places he had touched before.

One night you couldn't take it anymore, frustrated with the growing wetness between your thighs you ventured out to go find the relief you had been craving for far too long. Without even bothering to put on more than the t-shirt you slept in and a thin pair of panties you snuck out through the halls avoiding detection much like you would on a real mission.

Security had increased since you first infiltrated the base, but luckily for you not in the places it mattered. The routes patrol took were the same and the direction cameras were pointed never changed either, both faults practically inviting you into Kaz's quarters.

He wasn't a very sound sleeper, just like the first time you saw him he was tossing and turning in a fight with his own dreams before he even woke to notice an intruder. Quietly and carefully you crept onto his bed watching him twitch and mumble for a moment before you crawled over and straddled him, pushing the sweat dampened hair back from his forehead you noticed his breathing start to steady as his eyes fluttered open.

The peace didn't last long however, when he woke up enough to realize there was someone else in the room his expression changed to pure rage. His hand flew to your throat squeezing tight even after he recognized you almost as if you were the nightmare he had been fighting with. Only gently setting a hand on his arm while trying not to give in to your instinct to fight back, eventually his grip relaxed though he didn't let go of your neck.

"Trying to kill me again?" He questioned, baring his teeth.

"No." You answered simply, a blush crept onto you face along with a hint of a nervous smile.

Kaz was about to say something else, most likely a follow up question until he felt the answer in your fingertips creeping along the waistband of his boxers. He was stunned at the boldness of your touch, giving you the opportunity to grab his wrist and pin it to his side.

"You never told me how you got in here." He confidantly remarked, as if he was still in control.

"The same way I got in last time." You answered proudly. "And you didn't even bother to lock the door this time."

Noticing the hint of a smirk on his face you could almost assume that he knew, even as you felt him strain in your grasp but never really fight against it made you think this vulnerability was just an act or more likely a trap. Suspicious as his behavior was you couldn't help but take the opportunity before you, hooking your finger on his boxers waistband and slowly pulling them down.

With a few light strokes you soon felt his cock stiffen up in your grasp then once it was nice and hard you gripped tighter and pumped a little faster. Watching his chest rise and fall as his breathing grew deeper you were hoping to get something like a whimper or maybe you could even get him beg and look as pathetic as you must have when he was teasing you.

The idea swirled in your head as you softened your grip and slowed down until you were only giving him short lazy strokes. Kaz let out a deep frustrated groan, while it wasn't what you were hoping for it was a start. He opened his eyes to see you staring down at him with sadistic intentions then gave you a defiant smile while shaking his head.

Pouting at his reaction you became even more determined to get him to crack, with only your thumb and your forefinger you continued to work his shaft until you could practically hear him grinding his teeth. He had almost wiggled his wrist out of your grasp but you kept a firm hold on him.

After deciding you had enough of teasing him you let go and moved up to hover your hips just above his, though he tried to hide it his twitching and squirming gave him away. Your mouth watered at the sight of Kaz held down panting with his swollen leaking cock out and proud just waiting for you to touch it while the growing ache between your own legs was getting too much to ignore

Too impatient to even take them completely off you simpliy slid your panties to the side before straddling him and lowering down, taking a minute roll your hips and drag his tip across your slit and feel it twitch while you soaked his cock. He let out the most delicious gasp when you slammed down on him and took the entire length with little resistance, for a moment you stayed there just savoring the feeling that was so much better than you had imagined in the long lonely nights.

The small victory wasn't yours to enjoy for very long, you held still long enough to feel him writhe impatiently and try to raise his hips in protest, you kept your resolve and only lifted slowly off of him then lowered back down taking just one inch at a time. Kaz groweld at first, then he sighed, then he whined. It was just like how you were when he left literally hanging in that cold cell, maybe even worse. The idea of that revenge made you dizzy with the promise of relief like you had been wanting, and you found yourself feeling just merciful enough to use him to get it.

Squeezing around him and making him moan without any hint of shame, his wrist went limp in your grasp and he relaxed and allowed you to continue your sweet torture. It did feel like a victory to render him as helpless as he was beneath you, even the idea of it made you wetter than you thought possible and the sight of it made you shudder. In that moment you needed release more than you needed revenge, the bitterness you felt toward him slipped further away every time you sunk down on his cock.

Your hips were moving on their own at that point, it was hard to tell who was getting more pleasure out of it all you knew was that you were getting so close to that sweet relief you had needed since he first touched you. Reminded of that night you had the idea of bringing his hand up to your chest, having him touch you like only he could.

As soon as you released his wrist his hand flew to your thigh grabbing tight and using it as leverage to throw you off onto your back, already stunned at being tossed off like that you never expected him to flip you again before climbing over and using his weight to keep you pinned down with a hand on the back of your neck.

"Fuck! Not again." You groaned, feeling your release slipping away.

His fingers twisted into your hair while he pushed your face into the pillow, the way he held you down made nearly impossible to even shift your weight let alone break free. Although his still hard cock rubbing against you from behind curbed your want to escape.

He laughed as you tried to wiggle yourself out to no avail. "I expect better from my best assassin, I should teach you a lesson."

Fighting his grasp just enough to turn your head for a moment to ask while sliding your panties down and coyly grinding against him. "Would you call this a lesson, or maybe a punishment?"

"A mission, now shut up and take it." He answered bluntly before forcing your head back into the pillow.

The first thrust buried his entire length deeper than it had gone before, without even realizing it you were whimpering helplessly while he pulled out to the tip and repeated the action again. Over and over the cycle continued of him leaving you nearly empty just to plunge in even deeper and quicker.

It was almost too much but you were so afraid of him stopping and not letting you finish that you spread your legs farther and took even more. Your cheeks grew red in pure embarrassment as you lost all control over the noises coming from your mouth, more so when Kaz pulled your head back by the hair and forced you to cry out in the open.

"C'mon, let everyone know who you're loyal to now." He demanded, twisting your hair and earning another scream.

He was so cruel, but honestly that was what you wanted, the violence, the insults, the brutal manhandling, all of it. Ever since that day you were wishing he would just pound you like this, all the while giving you that blood chilling scowl.

That feeling of reaching your peak came creeping up through your body again, and with it a fear that you would be denied release. You arched your back and bucked your hips in rhythm with his trying to take in as much of him as you possibly could while fully expecting him to chastise you for being so desperate.

"Don't... Don't make me beg for it again." You panted out, lifting up and pressing your back to his chest.

He snorted at your request. "You're so lucky I'm bored of teasing you."

Having him so close while you came made the sensation so much more intense, feeling his breathing get deeper while he pounded even harder and pulled your hair even tighter. He tugged your head to the side so he could put his mouth on your neck and practically taste every moan that flowed out, his lips felt scorching on your already burning skin consuming you completely in a wildfire of passion.

Kaz pulled out and turned you over while your legs were still twitching, before he could even push back in you caught a glance through the glaze in your eyes and saw the first spurts of cum dripping out of his cock. He shut his eyes and bared his teeth while he continued to roll his hips forward, letting out long low groan and gripping your thigh tight. The feeling of him twitching inside while he while he filled you up was just too much for your sore overstretched hole, but the lingering need to keep him close kept you from telling him to stop and instead making you wrap your legs around his waist.

Spent, exhausted and finally finished he dropped down, his face only a few inches away from your own. Your breath mixed and your eyes locked in a moment of honest exposure, the bitterness and tension being released finally allowed the two of you to really see each other for a brief moment.

He didn't hold back at all, touching and kissing you wildly wherever he pleased while you were still shivering and giving you all the contact you had been begging for all this time. While you were a little taken aback by his treatment you readily accepted and even returned the affection where you could.

"Do you know how bad I wanted to do this while you were all tied up in there?" He revealed through heavy breaths.

Even his affection was violent. Kisses from a man who forgot any other way to be intimate could nearly drown you in wave after brutal wave, but you wouldn't just survive without returning in kind. Not simply allowing Kaz to take over your body, you savagely took his as well. Becoming nothing more than a tangled mess of tongues and teeth, hands grabbing and pulling desparately whether they landed on hair or skin.

In one of the rare instances when your lips had to part for oxygen you took the opportunity to say. "Kaz. Don't take this the wrong way but, I'm so glad I came to kill you."

"There's no right way for you to take this but, I'm glad you're bad at your job." He replied with a grin.

With the slightest urge to prove him wrong right there you laughed and kissed him again. For the rest of the night it continued like that, with the two of you sharing banter while holding each other close. The end of the agonizingly tense relationship you previously had sparked the begining of something that would be a challenge to explain if anyone on base found out. If they found out.

#kazuhira miller #metal gear solid #mgsv kaz #mgs kaz #kazuhira miller x reader #master miller #mgsv #mgsvtpp #mgs x reader

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murdercide626 · 7 days

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I recently discovered this Sonic fan-game from 2018 called Metal Sonic Rebooted, and it's so frikkin good! :D

The basic premise is that Dr. Eggman has created a new line of badniks to hunt down the Chaos Emeralds, and Metal Sonic is determined to find the emeralds before they can, destroying all in his path, to show the doctor that he's still his ultimate creation. (Awww. He really wants his dad's approval. lol)

I really love the way Metal controls in this game. In addition to the basic Sonic moveset, Metal also has a jet-powered forward dash, and a mid-air vertical dash, which are both really cool, but cost a bit of rings to use. Thankfully Metal doesn't drop all of his rings when damaged (only losing 15), unlike his fleshy counterpart. Naturally, Metal also can't drown underwater. The perks of being a lifeless automaton!

Another gameplay mechanic I like is that you can find certain item monitors that summon Bomb (from Knuckles' Chaotix) as a partner! Much like Tails, Bomb follows you and mimics your actions, but if Bomb gets damaged he'll drop some rings and explode, and he won't come back until you find another Bomb monitor (unlike in Chaotix where he'd regenerate instantly after exploding). It's just really neat that the Sonic&Tails buddy system has been recontextualized as a power-up! And if Bomb survives to the end of a level, he'll follow you into the next one. Kinda makes me want to challenge myself to try and keep Bomb alive from the beginning of the game to the end. lol

I also really love the level design and music of this game! I like that it has an almost grungy feel in some levels, which fits for a game starring a ruthless villain like Metal.

Though I haven't finished the game yet, I'm really loving it so far! Makes me wish I heard about it sooner!

What gets me is that this game is technically a mod, being a hack of Sonic 2. But so much of it is altered to the point you'd think it was made from the ground up! Makes me wonder if this game could run on actual hardware. I would love to have this game on a physical cartridge and run it on my old Genesis!

If you're interested, here's a link to Sonic Retro with more info, and even a download link for the game (though you'll need a Genesis/Mega Drive emulator to run it). Also, be wary of light spoilers in the article.

https://info.sonicretro.org/Metal_Sonic_Rebooted

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blackbirdofasgard · 3 months

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10 Opening Lines

Finally trying to catch up on some of these tag games. For this one, I was tagged by @lgwilt, @dewdropreader, and @loki-is-my-kink-awakening. Thank you all!

The premise is to share the opening line of our last 10 works and our thoughts on them, so here we go:

After Time Has Passed (Loki/Mobius)

The TVA feels different.

Life Changing (Mobius/Reader)

This was not the first time you found yourself over at Mobius' place feeling sorry for yourself, and you knew it would definitely not be the last.

Hate to See You Leave (Mobius/Reader)

As deeply engrossed as Mobius had been with his case file, he snapped out of it immediately when he heard you shuffling around at your desk next to his.

Subconscious Suggestions (Mobius/Reader)

Sitting at your desk, you were going through the motions of just another ordinary day of work, typing up reports and files like always.

Just Be (Mobius/Reader)

It was well past quitting time in the TVA.

Only a Flesh Wound (Mobius/Reader)

Gritting his teeth against the pain, Mobius stared at his shirt, discarded over the back of a metal hospital chair.

Ahead of the Curve (Mobius/Reader)

The work that day was more of the same old stuff you saw every day, and you were doing your best to focus on it, but it was a hard thing to do when you could feel Ravonna's eyes staring intently at the back of your head.

Soft Spot (Mobius/Reader)

Ravonna tried not to let her eye twitch as she watched Mobius put down his drink on her side table without a coaster under it.

I Want to Tell You (Loki/Mobius)

The leaves overhead were green—a bright, vibrant hue thanks to the warm sunshine lighting them up.

Full of Surprises (Loki/Mobius)

Regrettably, even in the year 2067, McDonald's was still a prevalent corporation with locations all over the world, including in the city Mobius and Loki were visiting to close up a case.

I'm kind of surprised to see how wordy some of these opening lines are lol. I also thought I started fics with dialogue more often than this would suggest. I guess not? Either way, this was an interesting exercise!

I'm honestly unsure if I know any other writers who haven't been tagged in this game yet, so if you're a writer who read this far and you want to participate, please go ahead and have fun with this! Also, full disclosure, it's late where I am and I want to finish this post and go to bed already, so I'm kind of rushing to get this done 😂

#loki/mobius #mobius/reader #my stuff #tag game

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tworegimesof · 5 months

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I've been putting off reading getohime fics for so long because I thought there wouldn't be too many, and boy was I proven right, but I came upon your fics on ao3 and was immediately hooked. I haven't read all of them yet, but the ones that I adore the most are your kidfics/ implied preggo fic esp with little Tomie in them. I just finished reading If We Make it Through December and author-chan, Why'd you have to make it hurt so much? 😭 As someone who's not accustomed to an angsty fic without a happy ending, it literally crushed my heart that Geto turned out the way he is in that fic, and his own kid wouldn't even be an exception to his demented vision of the world. But then I read Terrible, No Good, Awful, and even though it's a satosho fic with a side of getohime, I still adore the getohime crumbs here and there and ohhhhh!!! little Tomie is adorable (along with the satosho kiddos). I want to see more of her interactions with Geto in an Au similar to that fic where he's present and all is well... huhu, needless to say, I hope you consider making more getohime kidfic with more Geto and Tomie moments. I'd like to read how their relationship would turn out, given you made Tomie's mannerism similar to Geto's.

and oh, a question if you don't mind. In an AU where getohime is together and all is well, do you plan to give Tomie siblings or is it just gonna be her, their only child. #babieseverafter

When I pictured my life as a child I definitely did not think I'd be writing so many fics for such a specific rare pair but nonetheless, here I am.

Tomie is actually my favorite kid OC that I've written. Her name is from Junji Ito's Tomie, a manga about a girl who is so beautiful, that men become obsessed with owning her and kill her in a jealous rage, only for her to continually come back as a curse (her body regenerates). To me, Tomie is a great namesake because she embodies female rage (Utahime) and has a villainous resistance to a world more sinister than any person (Geto). And yeah, if Geto's own mother isn't an exception to the rule, than his child definitely wouldn't be either. I also think that Junji Ito is a major influence on Gege and the world of JJK, where there is the larger, mysterious and incurable problem of cursed energy that is the ooze from which Sukuna and Kenjaku spring (and is arguably the bigger villain). I know Ito also let Gege use an image from Uzumaki for Geto's Maximum Uzumaki. The only way I can get through this series is telling myself that JJK is Junji Ito shounen magic cage fights lol.

LOL Tomie has such a different dynamic with GetoHime than SatoShoko's kids have with their parents. I feel like Gojo and Shoko are actually very functional co-parents and their kids can rely on them for everything. I think Tomie is more independent. I think she takes her problems to Geto over Utahime because she wants to protect her mom and knows how ridiculous Utahime can be. I've been flirting with more kidfic in the Terrible, No Good, Awful-universe because it has the best set up for it, but I won't make promises, since I've got other stories for other fandoms to write.

Tomie is an only child. Pregnancy is one of the most metal things that the human body can do, and is so rough that I don't think my girl Utahime could do it twice.

Thanks for reading and apologies for the long rant! Clearly, I have a vision lol.

#getohime #ask #ask away i literally have nothing better to do #shameless tomie plug

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morphogenetic · 5 months

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cosplay to-dos before ALA hits:

Dec 22:

finish neku pants (aka "wait for these to dry, iron them, and then put metal wiring before hemming these properly"): 3 hours to be safe

hem apollo pants properly (.....yeah idk how I didn't do this either): 2 hours tops, probably less

neku shirt fixes (4? hours, this shouldn't actually be that much work but it's stretch fabric that I haven't tried on this machine yet so you never know...)

rest below bc this got long.

Dec 23:

kai jacket fixes (have to move all the sewn-on buttons over by an inch....joy). this is probably an all day task so 8 hours+ >.<

Dec 24:

yttd collar sanding (mild work but shouldn't be too bad) - my guess is 3-4 hours on this bc of the many steps but otherwise p simple

yttd collar painting/modge-podge-ing (p limited work) - like....two hours maybe? black paint and then yellow but that's it, the more annoying part is really waiting for it to dry

start yttd collar wire glueing: an hour or two at most, but then have to wait for it to dry fully. Yaaay.

finish kai re-button-ing if that isn't already done

Dec 25:

crimmus. also technically a spare day just in case I haven't finished any of this other stuff. you know how it goes.

oh wait I guess technically I need to finish collar glueing stuff around this point. Lol!

Dec 26:

kai wig styling day! honestly no real idea on how long this is going to take but I'm going to estimate at least half the day. Yaaay.

once ^ is done: makeup test time!

Dec 27 + 28:

two days because iiiiits neku shoe time making baybee!!!!!!! i technically know how to do this already i am just REALLY not looking forward to it. So it goes.

Dec 29 (maybe 30th also):

the nightmare that is the neku wig. i don't even want to BEGIN to think about this which is why it's so late LMAO

Any extra spare days:

Apollo, Neku, Kai, and Junpei masks in that order (apollo is priority bc I have a funney idea for him but you knooowww :3)

#mostly just for me. but. yknow. public bc accountability #junpei.txt #how do i make

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sickficideas · 8 months

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if we're sharing Dazai hcs. in canon (afaik, I haven't finished all the light novels yet) we've seen him in a cast twice but both times he was faking. but I was actually in a wreck a few years ago that broke my wrist and I had to have a metal plate added in surgery, so I hc that Dazai has Also actually broken his wrist and has a metal implant, bc I think it would be fun to match lol

he tooootally has broken something and i like the idea that Actually breaking his wrist has given him the idea to fake it in the future lol, that boy's always thinking of ways to subtly trick people ...

if we want to go down the angst route we could say Mori broke Dazai's wrist on purpose to see if he could successfully put in a metal plate...💔 or even Dazai broke it organically and Mori took the opportunity to test his skills ...

#ouch....ow #bsd headcanons #dazai #mori #medical abuse #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #broken limb #surgery #whump #injury #ask box

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daz4i · 3 months

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ok ok rather than make a bunch of annoying vent posts i'm just gonna put everything on my mind all in one post to let it out 🔥 you absolutely do not need to read this, this is honestly so ridiculously long. my brain better feel clean for like at least 2 days after this fr

i knew i was gonna crash after this week and i think this is it 🥲 i was so tense for literally a whole week (even more tbh, bc i was preemptively scared of how much i have to do too) and i think the adrenaline drop kicked in after the peak of this one (aka being in a big social event. haven't been to one of those in literal years)

also. my parents have been sick this week and i think i maybe have contracted it too? 😭 if that is indeed the case it literally kicked in in the last like hour of the event, i was perfectly fine beforehand bc i avoided being in the same closed space as them when i could (aka kept my distance or made sure windows were open around me all the time jic). bc suddenly my whole body hurts like it hasn't in a long while. tho that might be the adrenaline crash too who knows 🥲 ig i'll see how i feel when i wake up

i have not been creative in awhile and i can feel my brain drowning in gunk lol. technically i tried writing songs a couple of times lately but they came out so bad i can't finish them. or anything. and i feel like shit abt failing to create literally anything. and i keep seeing people be creative and make so much or sharing their work fearlessly and it's always so much better than mine too that i'm burning with jealousy that i can't turn off (and can't channel into my own creation bc well. it comes out shitty! so the cycle not only continues but in fact gets worse each time). every time someone tells me i'm good it feels like they're lying to make me feel better or bc they love me so they're. biased and see everything i make as good bc it's me, so i can't count that. every time *i* feel like smth i made is good there's some glaring imperfection i don't know how to iron out so i start hating the whole piece. i don't know how to become better when every time i try to practice i end up wanting to claw my own eyes out as punishment for being so talentless and dumb

(the dumb thing too is. oh my god this is gonna sound so silly but. i try to make myself feel better by solving puzzles or trivia or riddles etc bc these are things i'm usually good at. but lately i can't be proud of myself for succeeding at any of them, and i keep beating myself harder for every time i fail or don't do as well as i used to, bc it feels like i'm failing at the only thing i'm supposed to be good at. also i just generally keep doing stupid things lately esp when it comes to my time management or taking care of my body in various ways, i keep forgetting things which is smth i almost never do, i struggle to get through conversations with others bc i trip over my words or make mistakes constantly, generally i'm just being stupid in various ways)

right now i am. so anxious. about so many things. here let me just make it into a list starting with very small to. probably still small but it feels big to me

1. this is so silly but. i am literally too tired to put small earrings back in after changing them to long one for the party. and i'm scared the holes will close up in my sleep. but this is literally so much work 💔 idk if the holes haven't healed properly or if i'm using the wrong metal so i keep getting infections bc it's been A While (two years. apparently. maybe more??) and they haven't healed yet. like i said a silly thing to get stressed over but i am. very tense

2. i don't know. if the people i knew in the party actually didn't recognize me or if they ignored me on purpose. bc i stood next to some of them while my besties were talking to them too and they didn't even say hi (or like introduced themselves the way others that i didn't know have done). one of them was literally my bestie for a good few months a few years ago and even tho i grew a beard i. don't think i changed THAT much??? also i don't think it's hard to make the connection abt who i am given how tight this community is. someone i haven't talked to since like 2015 bc we had beef recognized me even. so how come they didn't. i met one in a con recently and she did recognize me so. h. did i do something wrong. did someone say smth bad about me. i don't know i don't understand social rules enough to figure it out 😭

3. this is another thing abt that tbh 🥲 while it was very fun and a super cool event, it did remind me very painfully of why my social anxiety is so bad 😭 i felt like i made 10 social errors per minute. i didn't know what to say half the time so i just smiled or laughed and i think that made me seem creepy idk. a lot of people were very nice and i think i did mostly fine with them but also maybe not. idk. i am definitely overthinking things but what if i'm right. it's not that out of the question. i am known to fail social interactions there's a reason why i do my best to avoid them

4. and this is kinda bringing me to a thing i have on my mind a lot recently. bc i'm doing the recovery thing. and a lot of people - friends family and professionals who help me there - tell me i am capable of more than i think or admit. and i get WHY they think that bc i *am* doing a lot compared to the literal nothing i've been up to for years. but i am very much pushing outside my limits, which is why i'm constantly feeling like shit lately i think (not that i was doing great before but. yeah). it probably seems mostly effortless bc i just do them without beating much around the bush but that's only when i mentally prepare myself days or even weeks ahead (for reference, i'm talking about things like. being in public. or taking a bus). or the work i do for projects that... honestly idk how i'm doing that either. i am the laziest person ever and i have no ability to concentrate yet i managed to sit down and do work and do it well and learn text by heart and research and write for hours and ??? it does not feel like myself. but it also kinda does bc i need to very forcefully push myself into it and berate myself for hours until i actually get up to do anything so. it's not smth that comes naturally to me. i don't consider myself capable of things. i'm just very good at pretending i'm unbothered (up until i start crying uncontrollably at least lol) so ppl think i am. unfortunately. bc then they expect me to do more. or they pressure me into it then get disappointed when i can't do it (ig that's the core of it for me... i don't want anyone to develop expectations about me, bc i know i won't be able to meet them, at least not long term. so i insist i can't do anything, bc sometimes - often - i really really can't. i don't wanna be judged by my best. feels false to even call it that tbh. but that's bc it's so rare, it's the best for a reason, the absolute peak i can get to, as pathetic as it is. bc the problem is, when this is already beyond my limits, i literally can't go further, but that's what they want me to do 💔)

5. god. this is also a small thing probably but the accidental lie i mentioned. for context i am giving a lecture abt p5's mythology in the next con, that's the thing i was working on lately. anyway when i signed up i gave background information about myself, and to make myself sound more fitting for the job i said that i learned the topic in [university that specializes in said topic] bc i did - just. 2 classes. that's it. i was telling the truth there, technically (most of my knowledge on the topic comes from independent research, but the classes i took did help with that too, as in i knew where to look for info and things to look out for) (also for reference i'm gonna be fr. i did not finish these classes. social anxiety got to me and i was scared to go to anything outside zoom lessons which weren't an option anymore unfortunately)

ANYWAY when they told me i got in they sent me a "revised" bio which was just what i originally sent them, so i said okay. but now the whole thingie was posted and i can see my bio there and. they said i graduated from [uni] and used language that implies i have a degree in it, probably to make me sound more credible, but it's not true!!!! 😭😭😭 the thing i said was definitely embellishment but it WAS true enough that if asked directly about it i could spin it somehow ("oh i haven't finished yet" "yeah i took a couple of classes when i could to enrich my knowledge") but this. makes it so much harder

chances are i won't be asked bc why would anyone ask abt that. but ever since i started writing the script i was so stressed about people calling me out for being wrong abt info, so i even added a disclaimer of "these are old texts that have many versions that vary according to location or were changed with time uwu if you know a different version of this story that's probably why uwu" and "due to the time constraint i'm giving a very simplified and short version of this topic uwu" bc given that i'm talking a lot abt judaism. to a mainly (or most likely, entirely) jewish audience. it's enough that there is someone who is religious or previously ultra orthodox in the audience that if i make a mistake they could point it out. and then i'll start panicking and lose my train of thought and fuck everything up while i'm already so stressed as is and-

so like i've been super stressed abt all that^ until now but that misinfo in my bio is raising the stakes for me 😭 bc now what if someone who went to this uni and majored in this topic calls me out on never seeing me there. or they can tell the info i'm giving isn't smth that's taught there or isn't the way it's taught there. this is such a specific and unlikely fear but i can't not stress about it because TECHNICALLY it's possible, it COULD happen even if that's not too likely

6. all of this is while i'm also struggling with bureaucracy around that art program i'm signing up to, idk if i'll get in yet or not bc i need some files to be approved and idk if they would, and idk what i'll do if they don't. or what if they do! i'm honestly so scared to start it, idk how i'm gonna go from nothing to waking up early and driving an hour 4 times a week to be active and around people for a few hours. tbh i don't think i can, but also if this gets approved then i have to, so the government's money doesn't get flushed down the toilet bc of me.

7. all this shit has a major impact on my physical health 🥲 not getting into details bc that's def tmi territory but. i'm fighting for my life over a certain stress-caused medical thing for weeks now. only other time i had it was when the war originally started so naturally i was extra stressed then, but like, this is to give you a reference for how majorly stressed i am now. my regular pains are flaring up more often too which makes things harder to handle as well (like, stressing abt not doing enough work, bc i'm literally in too much pain to do anything but lie down. or being scared of the plans i have for the week bc what if these pains catch me when i'm outside or with people. how am i supposed to push through them. what if they catch me when i'm in public and i have to sit down in the middle of the street. what if i'm with people and i'm holding them back from doing smth bc of that. etc etc)

8. ofc all this is happening during the war and i keep seeing things i really don't wanna see from ppl in my country and the west 🥲 and it's like, the mix of guilt over this happening at all, and the frustration over feeling like i have nothing to do about it, and fear about how things are gonna escalate in either direction, and seeing friends from other countries posting things i agree with but can't condone full heartedly bc well. this'll hurt me directly, as selfish as it sounds (tbf, when i say hurt me directly, i'm talking about me and my loved ones' lives being endangered), but also seeing said loved ones talking about things i can't agree with morally, yet can't fully refute either because life is. complicated. i have a lot more to say tbh but i'm too tired to acknowledge every single facet of every single related issue which will open me to a lot of hate so. best to leave it here. unfortunately

idk where to put this. sorry for the sudden topic change. it feels bad to be stressed over that but, there is a guy who i know likes me like a lot. i think i'm like exactly his taste and he's always so excited about seeing or talking to me. one of my besties - or maybe more. idk - really wants us to get together bc tbh it'll probably be good for both of us, and y'all know how desperate i am to be loved lol. but i can't bring myself to like him the way he likes me 💔 he's fun but i have a hard time with one on one interactions so i can't really progress things and tbh, idk if i'm currently in a mindset where i even should, given all that^. also i know for a fact i can't handle an actual relationship, and i'm scared i'll disappoint him or drive him away if i'll be my real unfiltered self, and ik i need to be obsessed with someone to get attached this quickly but i can't force it either. and to put it more directly... i'm perfect for him and his taste, but not the other way around 🥲 (tho tbf idk what my taste even is. i identify as aroace for a reason). i don't wanna string him along but i think i already kind of am 😭 i like him but not as much as he likes me, but what i probably like here even more is the feeling of being liked. and that makes me feel like a dick. i also feel guilty for not liking him the same way ig even tho ik it's stupid bc it's not like i can control it. and yet

so yeah this is. a lot of shit. all at once. both silly and not silly at all. my brain is in constant overload. i get violently suicidal every time i have a moment alone with my thoughts or when i see anything that reminds me of that. bc all this stress makes life feel so impossible - it IS impossible - that i can't handle the thought of it, but half of the things that cause me stress are supposed to be for the purpose of distracting me from how stressful everything is. so. what the fuck am i supposed to do about all that. how am i supposed to live like at all

#vent #this was written very out of order #i don't expect anyone to read this but if you do. 1 sorry 2 are you okay 3 i love you #it feels better to post things than to just write them in a doc yknow??#not sure why. maybe it's the feeling of not being alone with these thoughts ig. or getting some external validation #it did help tho. i feel like i can actually go to sleep now maybe. wow #edit: holy shit i just checked. this took nearly 2 hours to type. wtf. damn guess i really needed that akdkglhlj #btw if you do read this you gotta like this post 🧐 so. i know. bc i like knowing. sorry

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kafus · 6 months

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just caught up on your platinum liveposts, i love them sm!! i’m super excited to see scyther on your team, i had one in soulsilver ages ago and they’re so fun, especially when they evolve and get bulkier with the steel typing. such a unique typing too before the newer games!! one of my fav pokemon fr

i recently restarted brilliantdiamond since i never finished it when it came out so i’ve been in a sinnoh mood too, and a while ago your leafgreen run inspired me to try only mons i’ve never used before (i did end up starting a firered file but got busy and forgot about it lol). with the exception of kricketot/kricketune as my “starter” since i’ve used most of the early route mons before and it’s another one of my favorite bugs, hoping to keep a hold of it through the game even though that can be difficult with weaker bug types sometimes lol. anyways excited to see more platinum posting! ^^

GOD scyther has been KICKING ASS... i can't believe i haven't used one sooner, technician boosted wing attack is slicing through everything in the game right now with ease. i just found out that getting the metal coat to evolve it in gen 4 isn't possible until the very very lategame/postgame though, unless you thief it off a wild pokemon so that gives me another sidequest to do as well lmao since i want scizor before i beat the game. and i'm considering trading it to HGSS to both evolve it and teach it the move bug bite which is exclusive to the HGSS move tutor for some reason... maybe that's overdoing it though idk yet. ANYWAYS YEAH SCYTHER COOL AND EPIC

also have fun!! i've been doing that so much lately and it's so much fun, i wonder how ur team will fill out :0 bdsp makes things a bit interesting too because you have underground spawns to choose from as well. of course a bunch of them are locked to the postgame but some aren't so that's cool. and hey i'm sure you can find a niche to warrant bring kricketune to the end even if he's not the strongest member on the team SDFSFD i brought butterfree to the league SO. it really be like that

thank u AAA

#kiki was here #asks #pt playthrough #tagging that bc i talk about scyther a lot dsfksfd #earthenoid

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worldstogetlostin · 2 years

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Elements Ask!

Fire: What’s a scene that you are dying to write?

Air: What’s the easiest part of writing for you?

Shadows: What’s the darkest theme you’ve ever written about?

Lightning: What’s the most shocking plot twist you’ve ever come up with?

Rain: Have you ever made yourself cry with your own writing? If so, what was it?

Ice: What do you always get stuck on when writing?

Sand: What’s the softest scene you’ve ever written?

Rock: How do you deal with writer’s block?

Metal: What’s the hardest part of writing for you?

Space: Where’s your favorite place to write?

Thank you for the ask! Can't wait to go through these :)

Fire - There's a scene right at the end of my current WIP which is basically all of their goals coming to a head (I won't give too much away). But basically, they've tried really hard only for victory to look absolutely nothing like they thought it would, and there'll be such a range of emotions I think it'll be a really juicy scene to write XD

Air - The easiest part of writing for me is coming up with ideas/scenarios to write about. I have WIP ideas coming out of my ears lmao

Shadows - I write a lot of fantasy so there'll always be death, maybe some torture, but I don't think I ever write about anything too dark because it's just not how I write. First and foremost I write for myself, and there are some things that I want to write about (adventures and battles and excitement) and other things that I don't (darker themes I guess?)

Lightning - I had a family member of one of my OCs betray their brother, which, considering their relationship before that point came as a shock even to me. It wasn't even, like, a small betrayal. My dude stabbed the guy.

Rain - I think I may have answered this one before but yes I have just recently for the first time made myself cry. One of my lovely OCs gets killed unnecessarily by someone who made the wrong assumption and is super cut up when they find out they were wrong to kill her. It made me very sad.

Ice - I get burnout super easily and then find it difficult to come back to a piece of work (kind of like when you go off the last thing you ate before getting food poisoning lol). I'm only now learning to get over this.

Sand - I have a very tender scene of two of my OCs being affectionate and in love, just before the world ends (I haven't worked on this WIP in a while so I can't remember exactly what happens). It's a super cute scene instantly marred by the fact that only one of them wakes up after the big boom lol

Rock - At the moment, writer's block just means I stop writing for a bit or work on a different WIP. I haven't figured out how to actually work through it yet so if anyone has any tricks, let me know XD

Metal - Following through and keeping the momentum to finish a WIP. I run out of steam quite quickly and tend to over-exert at the start of a project.

Space - I'll write anywhere, really. At the moment, my favourite place is on my bed XD but I have a very nice desk that is great for writing which I have been driven from by an uncomfortable chair :(

#thanks for the ask!#writers on tumblr #writeblr #answering things #ask game

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edensungilda · 4 months

Text

Finally finished this today, god I love angst.🥺

BIG spoilers for my story, “FIREWEAVER: A spiderverse story”, so read if you don’t mind lol

Coincides with Chapter Twenty-Two of my story.

"Wake up, Esmita."

Esme blinked her eyes open, though the world didn't look any brighter than before. It was dark. She was lying down on something soft, her hair being combed back by several plush things. Fingers?

"Where... where am I?" her throat felt like a dusty compartment neglected for weeks.

"In the warehouse, you fell asleep. Come on, it's Saturday- we should be spending it doing something fun." His voice wrapped around her like a tight hug, her skin fluttering with the machinations of her heart. She smiled. Oh how lovely it was to wake up in his arms- wait.

She quickly sat up, blinking rapidly to take in the form she had been laying against- taking in his face. This couldn't be real. He couldn't be real.

"G-Gavin? Is it really you?" She reached out, trying to grab any bit of him to make sure she wasn't dreaming.

None of this was right. The last thing she remembered was that she was... wait. Why couldn't she remember? She knew she was somewhere else. Someplace else. With other people- bad people. And Gavin... why was she so shocked to see him?

"It's okay Esme, it's going to be okay. You're here." He spoke but his voice sounded dislocated. Distant. Robotic, almost.

His face was foreign too, only a vague inclination of what Gavin was supposed to look like. Basic blue eyes and fair skin, but not mirrorballs nor cream puffs.

"You're here." He repeated, but his words sounded dislodged. Felt like bullets that vindicated her doubts.

His face began to swirl as she backed up from him. This wasn't right. This wasn't her Gavin. Not her coffee boy. As much as she wished it was, she could never forget what happened. She could never lie to herself no matter how badly she needed to. Or delude herself to think this was a phantom.

Because the honest truth was that Gavin was dead.

Esmerelda gasped awake, coughing and feeling her hot breath bounce back onto her skin. Her arms were held behind her while she sat on something cold. She adjusted to the harsh light, blinkng as rapidly as she pieced together that she was in a lab room, restrained to a metal chair.

A woman stood with her back turned to her, tapping a finger against the silver tip of the yellow filled syringe, a drop seeping from the needle. Ophelia.

"Did you like my hallucinogen? That was just the beta formula, a weaker dose- but I thought I'd prep on you before I tested the final version on your spider friend. He seems to have a higher tolerance than you though, I've assessed his self-healing is more advanced than yours."

Esme narrowed her eyes, glaring at her.

"I'm curious to see what those eyes look like behind the visors, for someone with such intense expressions." Ophelia chuckled. "It would have been delightful to see what they would have looked like as you screamed that boy's name. What was it... Gavin?"

She clenched her fists, lunging forward to punch her stupid face only for a sharp pain to jolt up her arm as her restraints bit into her wrists.

"Careful with that temper, hot head. I haven't even begun the worst yet." Ophelia approached her and gripped her arm, stabbing the needle into her shoulder and injecting the liquid.

Esme gasped in pain. "You'll regret this! You pendeja!"

Ophelia just laughed, watching her with a gleam in her eyes. Esme fought to keep her eyes open- she really did, but the room was already becoming vignette. The hallucinogen worked faster than anything Esme anticipated, black eyes forming in the walls and wide mouths gaping at her in screams. She shook her head, her eyes feeling like bleach.

"What a tenacity." Ophelia laughed, kneeling down and meeting Esme's eyes. Her face tilted, eyes turning purple. "Do you feel it coursing through those veins of yours? Feel it muddling your thoughts?"

Esme groaned, pulling and jerking in her chair for relief. Her head felt like it was going to explode.

"Why... Why..." Esme couldn't speak- bile rising in her throat.

"Why are you here? That's a good question. I'm not sure why he wants you. Let's find out."

The chair she was seated in slowly began to sink into the floor, and no matter how much she thrashed her legs or pulled at her restrains until the chair groaned, she couldn't evade the fall. Couldn't stop as she landed back in that warehouse room.

It wasn't real, but she felt the sunlight filter in through the upper window and wash the walls in watercolor. Esme sat up slowly, acclimating to her new surroundings. It felt like each corner of the loft was reaching for her- faces shrouded in the shadows. She needed to wake up- to fight Ophelia and escape before whatever boss showed up to do who knows what with her. But how was she going to do that?

She felt something tap her shoulder.

"Welcome back." Gavin laughed as she jolted to the other end of the couch, leaning on her hands and kicking her feet.

"You're not Gavin. You're not real." she muttered; eyes locked on his hollow ones.

"No, I suppose I'm not your Gavin. But I do indeed share the same name as him. The same face. And I am as real as you imagine." He chuckled when she made a confused face. "I know all about your Gavin too. How you left him to die."

"I didn't!" She yelled. "You don't know what you're talking about!"

"I don't? You think I'm not aware of how you used him as bait for your little vendetta?"

"W-what?" Esme clutched her forehead, groaning as she felt pressure on her ears. Felt it threaten to pierce straight into her brain. "Agh! S-stop- stop talking!"

"You saw the same thing I did, right? No? Let's go back then and get a refresh. Look up." She felt hands grip her shoulders and her body convulse. "LOOK at what you did!"

The world opened back up to the overhanging streets and sleek reflections of flashing red and blue lights. The sleek cars filtered around her in the street like fish, as if she was a stone in the middle of a river. Gavin melted away with the current, but she stood firmly rooted. Honks filled her ears, muffling the ringing only for a moment.

"Get out of the middle of the street! Crazy!"

If it hadn't been for that policeman's voice she wouldn't have snapped out of her daze. She ran to the sidewalk and lurched over, vomiting in a small absence to the side of a building. What was that? A daydream? It had to be. What a strange dream to be in another world. And in the future?

She checked her watch, confirming it was still the year 2026, May 2nd.

"Earth to Esme~" she jumped- why was her ear speaking? she tapped it and felt stupid when her fingers made contact with an earpiece.

"Y-yeah? Sorry, I think you cut out. Hit a dead zone." Esme cleared her throat.

Sophia sighed. "Right. Gavin and I found out who's employing Halcón. Guess who it is- I'll give you a hint, your favorite group in the whole city~"

Esme clenched her jaw. "Don't tell me..."

"Goliath's gang."

"God damn it." She took a fist full of her hair and pulled, a small shriek suppressed in her throat, so she didn't further agitate any onlookers. "CAN'T this guy stop screwing with this city?!"

"It'll be fine, Esmita." Gavin softly soothed in her ear. "Maybe it's a sign you were meant to stop this guy, since he keeps coming back."

Sophia added, "And he should be easy too- he's not a supervillain or any worse than Halcon who just relies on fancy gadgets. I have faith you can take down this tyrant."

'Is that what you told yourself, too?' a voice whispered.

"What?" Esme looked around.

"I said I have faith you can handle their leader?" Sophia looked to Gavin behind the screen, lifting a brow. Gavin just shrugged.

"Look, we have a plan. We should look into some of the guys my dad has on his list and interrogate them- find the whereabouts of their armory- their drug supply, the smuggling- all of it. Build up enough photo evidence and info for the cops to have enough to keep them in prison once you catch them."

"That sounds dandy and all out loud, but you forget I'm the one that has to actually do all the work- and you're severely overestimating my capabilities. I've only been at this for six months you guys. I'm still getting the hang of the weird strength, the webs and the tingling every time something bad is about to happen." Esme sighed and started walking again. "I appreciate the ideas, but let's start small. Beginning with rehearsals today. It is currently 9:45 and I still have to show up to class at 10 PM sharp or Ms. Veronica will most certainly lash my wrists."

"Alright miss fancy tulle pants." Sophia rolled her eyes. "Didn't know we were in the 1900s again. Hurry up then before renaissance incarnate gets you."

Esme chuckled alongside Gavin and smiled. "Love you two. See you tonight? At the performance?"

"Definitely-You know it!" They each replied. "Kill it my swan princess!" Gavin added.

'Hmm, that's not it. You're fighting back. Suppressing the memory, are we? Don't think you can get out so easily.'

Esme cried out, falling onto her knees. Shadows moved, light turning from orange to white. When she got back up, it was dark out. She was in a hallway. 'I'm back in this dream?! Why won't it stop?!'

'You can't deny what happened forever. You know what you did.'

"I didn't do anything." Esme snapped, "Stop talking- stop impersonating him- I know you're just a figment of my mind."

"A figment? Explain to me then which part of you is lying to yourself? The one that believes you killed me, or the one that doesn't?"

When Esme didn't respond, the hallway brightened- like a stage light queuing the start of the scene. Illuminated where the walls opened out into an open ledge looking out over the entire city.

"Go on then. Go back to that day."

Esme shook her head, trying to back away from it- but the floor lifted to a sharp incline behind her, her feet and hands desperately clawing at it to keep herself from sliding. But down she fell, and felt herself falling into the city.

CHELSEA, NY | 12:00, July 16th 2066

The sun was worse today. Her holowatch wouldn't stop alerting her to the all-time record the heat kept breaking every hour. There was no performance tonight, because with all the technological advances New York had made, they still couldn't prevent Brookyln's breaker from going out from the heat. The outage had already lasted two days, her apartment room a sweltering fry pan. So Esme swung over to Gavin's like usual, his side of town's AC still functioning.

This time though, she couldn't help but notice the car that sat outside his apartment. A black sedan. Cliche, but served its purpose to raise her suspicion. She went around to the back of his building and perched against his window, checking his room for any unwanted roommates before she lifted the panel.

"Honey~ I'm home~" she teased, her feet tapping the floor softly as she slid her mask off of her face.

Arms wrapped around her, lifting her off the ground and flopping onto the bed with her. "RAH! Gotcha!"

Esme playfully shrieked and giggled, squirming out of his hold before Gavin's hands lurched to her sides and tickled her.

"Ack! Stop that! Gavin Maximus Stacy! St-ahehehe- stop!" She cried, grabbing at his fingers that attacked her through her suit.

"The scorching spider-woman- defeated by the amazing Gavin! Quiet as a ghost, she never saw him coming!" He laughed and Esme managed to weasel herself out of his grasp finally.

"You brute! Don't make me web you!"

He lifted his hands in defense, squeezing his eyes shut and pouting his bottom lip in mock fear at her threat. "OH WOE IS ME! Super hero turned villain- whatever will the world do?!"

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," Esme giggled. She may not be a nerd like Sophia or Gavin, but she knew her literature. "Hey, how long has that car been parked outside your place?"

Gavin lowered his hands, his face quickly turning to stone. "What car?"

"You haven't noticed?" She asked as he walked over to the window. He pulled the curtain over it, and Esme felt herself stiffen.

"No, I haven't. It's probably nothing." He turned back to her and flashed a smile.

"You're lying." Esme crossed her arms. "Gavin, why didn't you tell me?"

He looked away. "I didn't want you to worry. It really is probably nothing. My dad knows, his partner is already casing in on it."

"How long? How long has it been there?"

Gavin sighed, shoulders slumping forward. "I noticed it three weeks ago."

Esme's mind was reeling. How could she have been so oblivious? Who could it be? It had to be a member of Goliath's gang- she had gotten to careless. She must have slipped at some point in her nightly excursions- led them straight to Gavin. It was no surprise that she, yet again, was the cause of putting someone else's life in danger.

"It's my fault." Esme rubbed her temples. "I'm sorry. I'll take care of it- I'll stop seeing you, and maybe they'll assume we're no longer acquainted and leave you alone-"

"No, no Esme don't be like that." He reached forward and grasped her arm, pulling her closer. "Esme, it's going to be alright. Sophia is already looking into it."

"You... You told Sophia, but not me?" Esme pulled away, her eyes wide and lips parted.

"I told you, I didn't want to worry you!" Gavin stepped forward when she continued to move away.

"No- you just didn't trust me." Esme hugged herself. She couldn't handle this. It was too much to grasp. She thought the voices in her head telling her she wasn't good enough were the worst- but hearing it implied that he may think the same felt like a thousand more cuts.

"I never said that! I do trust you!"

She shook her head. "Look, I'm just gonna go. I'll talk to Sophia myself- you stay here tonight. Don't go anywhere until I say it's safe." She pulled her mask back over her face and pulled the curtain back aside.

"Esme-"

She leapt out, her silk finding its mark and swinging her body forward. She swung around the block til she landed on a roof overlooking the street, watching the car until the sun sunk low. It began to move, and Esme moved with it. She felt sorry she left things the way she did with Gavin- but this was for his benefit. She needed to push him away- keep him safe from her. Keep him safe from spider-woman.

'That wouldn't be the last time you hurt me.' The voice spoke. She had grown aware by now that it wasn't her Gavin, but it still felt so close to him.

'So, what next? You going to fast forward to the part it happened? I lived through this already- why are you making me see it again?'

It was meant to be bitter remark, a last effort to snap back at the torturous voice- but he only seemed to laugh in response.

'I was wondering when that snarky attitude would rear its ugly head. If it's the lady's wish...'

The city swung forward, passing through time. She knew where this was going. The call she made to Sophia to push their plans forward. Following the car to a club, hoping to tail the man who was stalking Gavin and be led to his boss.

That was the plan, anyway. She didn't know Sophia and Gavin had gone behind her back with another plan.

The car suddenly pulled to a back alley and went through the side door to a much larger building. She swung over to the large window, peering into the huge interior with slanted roof and catwalk down the middle. There were rows of metal crates filling the room, blocking her vision from this angle. She pushed the windowpane slightly and found it rotated, so she slipped through it and landed on the catwalk, overlooking the group below. She froze in her tracks.

"Sophia what is this- why is Gavin here?!"

"I'm sorry- I wanted to tell you but Gavin made me promise. He said the only way we could get Goliath out in the open was to bait him!"

Esme gripped the rail, trying to center herself as the room seemed to sway. "No- he needs to get out of there right now-"

"We aren't going to find him by ourselves Esme! Gavin has a plan, trust him!"

Esme grit her teeth. She couldn't allow Gavin to put himself in danger like this- she couldn't believe Sophia was even going along with it.

But it was too late. She heard the door open, blue light from outside streaming out onto the wall- illuminating Gavin surrounded by three men.

"I know you've been following me. So I thought I'd make things easier." Gavin spoke. "Where's your boss? Doesn't he want to know where spider-woman is?"

Esme peered over as the first man stepped forward. His head was shiny and bald, eyes dark as they narrowed in on Gavin. Several men poured out behind him, but Esme's eyes caught onto the tall blonde woman beside him, but by no means did she look like she was just arm candy.

She was muscular- a square jaw and rigid nose with narrowed dark eyes. Maybe she was a butterfly. Pretty things could be deadly, after all. She uncrossed her arms and Esme caught the silver glint on her wrist. A rhino tattoo.

Esme's heart thundered. There was more than one? No matter, she just needed to focus on capturing Goliath. Stop him from hurting Gavin.

"Are you suggesting you'll rat out your girl? For what reason?" She hissed.

Gavin flinched slightly but held his ground. "So you leave me and my family alone. Make the call, I won't say anything else til your boss gets here."

"What makes you think we won't just beat the information out of you?" She demanded further.

"Because you don't like to get your hands dirty. And plus- I have too much to lose to just give in that easily. The only reason I'll tell you is if I have your boss give me incentive."

The woman exchanged a look with the man before he tapped his watch.

She waited several, aching moments before the door opened again. A larger man than she had ever seen before filled its frame- having to practically bend over not to hit his head. Esme pressed herself against the floor, craning her neck to get a better view on Gavin. She could not let Goliath do anything.

"So, you're the spider-woman's boyfriend, hmm?" Goliath chuckled. "Why is he still standing? Didn't you fools think to search him for any devices?"

"We did- He's clear." The blonde answered.

Esme gripped the edge, waiting for the right moment to intervene.

"So, I hear you're willing to talk if I give you an offer?"

Gavin nervously shifted. "Perhaps, if its reliable. But you know, I have friends in high places."

Goliath laughed for a moment- then punched Gavin. He landed on the ground with a thud, his hand quickly lifting to his nose to stop the blood.

"Little dirtbag- you think you can come to me and think you have grounds to make a deal with me? No, its on my terms. Not yours. Now, you better tell me where the bitc-"

Esme jumped down faster than she could even think- quickly webbing the first two men who lunged for Gavin. With her white visors narrowed, she dodged a punch then grabbed the extended arm and twisted it with a crack. She turned to Goliath.

"Big mistake." She seethed, lunging for him.

"It was a dirty trap! Get her!"

The blonde leapt at her, knocking her over. She tussled, trying to break free from the grapple while also trying to withstand the kicks from the other men. She had to- she couldn't let them get to Gavin-

'And yet that's what you did. You let them kill me.'

Esme screamed in pain, her head knocked back and hitting the ground hard. Two pairs of arms seemed to hold her down and she heard scuffling down the room- the doors slamming open- tires screeching.

No-no no no- no. No she couldn't let it happen again- even in a dream. She thought she could have stopped it. Stopped him from doing it-

'You ussed me as bait.'

"You- Gavin, Gavin has a mind of his own- I couldn't stop him." Esme panted, kicking off the blonde before scrambling backwards and shooting two webs, then rolled over and hit the next two shoes that tried to kick her.

With them now pinned to the ground, she got up to her feet and looked for Gavin. The room seemed to tilt - Goliath and a few other men dragging Gavin towards the opened doors at the end of the warehouse. A van was parked outside, and Esme chased after them. She ran and shot more webs at the two goons who held Gavin- then landed a kick to one of their sides.

She was quickly snatched from behind- large hands that eclipsed half her torso prying her away and throwing her across the alley. The side of her head collided with the brick hard and she slumped to the ground, fighting her decaying vision. Her interface blinked red- her hearing was ringing. There was no music playing anymore- she couldn't even hear the open mouths of the goons as they opened the back door of the van.

'With all your super powers, you couldn't stop them?' Gavin laughed. 'Lies.'

"Shut up. Just shut up."

She lifted herself to her hands and knees, the alley walls closing in on her. The graffiti seemed to choke her with its colors- a spiderweb tightening itself around her throat. She couldn't let them take him.

She watched Gavin struggle against the goons- saw his eyes connect with hers. And then watched Goliath punch him hard in the gut- Gavin's perfect pink lips sprouting roses that's petals splattered onto the wall. Esme saw it muddle that taunting graffiti- and she felt something snap.

Her hands lifted almost in slow motion. She saw the silk fly through the air- glistening in her chemicals- and latch onto Goliath. And then she tapped her sparker. She didn't realize her second wrist had missed.

"Wake up Esme. This is the truth. You killed me."

She held her ears, trying to drown out his voice. Drown out the sound of the explosion. Drown out the sound of the gunshot.

"I tried to save you- to undo your stupid decision Gavin! I went to that warehouse to save you-"

White seared into her vision and she shielded her eyes. She heard the metal beams groan, heard the glass windows shatter- felt the ground shake from the explosion. She opened her eyes again and saw the van explode. The debris catch the surrounding buildings on fire. The flames in her dream looked so vivid- exactly like that day.

"Did you save me? Did you even try? Wake up Esme."

Her lip quivered, her vision blurred as she stared slack jawed at the vision in front of her. Heard the screams echo down that alleyway. If this was a memory, she would be inside of that alleyway right now- fighting for her life. Fighting to escape the flames she made.

You weren't even sure if I was dead. You gave up so easily. Could have gone back to save me. But you didn't, because you're selfish." Gavin spat. "Wake up."

"No- no that's not true," she felt tears pool at her chin. "I tried everything to bring you back Gavin! I fought and fought but there was too many of Goliath's men- y-you were gone by the time I reached you!"

A red river flooding the alley way, swirling around her feet and pulling at her weight. Blonde hair bobbing against the toe of her shoe. Her hand reached for it while her thoughts screamed 'DON'T REACH DOWN! DON'T REACH DOWN!' all while her fingers took that grasp anyway, and turned over his face.

Two white mirrorballs stared back at her. Ice blue lips began to move.

"You killed me."

Esme screeched, reeling backwards and falling onto something soft. She looked down, propped on her elbows, seated on a couch.

"Welcome back." Gavin sat beside her.

"Just stop- stop with these mind games Gavin- what do you want from me?!" Esme sobbed, holding her head. She couldn't take all these transitions anymore. She didn't want to hop from one memory to the other- or dreamscapes to another. It was all too much- too much-

"I want you to admit the truth and wake up." Gavin spoke.

"What good is that going to do? You're not actually him. You're not real."

"The line between fictional and reality is not comprehensive to the mind. So long as I exist in your mind, then I am as real as you think."

"Will you ever stop existing, then?" She sobbed.

"No. Because you'd have to erase the memory of me completely- and you don't want that. You might think that. But you don't." He tilted her chin.

"I do- I do! I want to forget you! I can't bare this pain in my body. They say grief is in your heart but if it was only that then I'd be fine! It is in all of me- my veins, my lungs, my intestines and bones!" Her shoulders racked with further sobs.

"Pain is good. Pain is how our bodies tells us something is wrong. And feeling, feeling tells us we're alive." He brushed her hair back.

"Just leave me alone." She pushed his hand away, hoping it would ease the grip he had on her heart.

"I can't do that. I need you to say it Esme. I need you to wake up."

She clenched her eyes closed. The bait. The warehouse. Goliath. Gavin. She replayed that memory almost every day since he disappeared. There was no body. Yet the firefighters said the temperature of the fire had been so high that there was really nothing to recover if Gavin did succumb to his wounds. But there was a chance he survived. A small chance.

All their memories. Laughing in the coffee shop. Laying in the warehouse, side by side on the couch talking about their day. Swinging at night and gazing up at the sky pierced by the city lights. Riding his motorcycle. Dancing together after every performance or band session. His hand in hers- her eyes held in his. There had to be a chance.

"He's not dead. I didn't kill him." She sat up, wiping away her tears.

Gavin blankly stared back at her. She couldn't read his expression, but the world was becoming more murky. Less opaque. Like dull watercolors. But through that dreary veil that was beginning to form over his face, she saw his lips twitch. The smallest smile. Like how he used to.

"You still don't get it. We're out of time. I'll be seeing you again though, Esmita."

"Wait-"

She wanted to reach out, to ask him who he really was- but she was pulled back into her chair, waking up to the stark white room she was in before.

#original character #marvel #spider man oc #digital art #across the spiderverse #gwen stacy #Gwen Stacy variant #spiderverse oc #spotify #wattpad #fanfic #spiderverse fanfic #storytelling #love story #tragic love story #dies from canon event #canon event #angst

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