#haven’t been here since 2018
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so @heynhay posted this art and i’m incapable of being normal so. here’s 3k words of angry pining. tee hee <3
———
Keith Kogane never does anything halfway. He doesn’t shrug or “why not, I’m not busy” his way into being a pilot, a paladin, a person. He feels everything with his whole chest so fiercely that he tastes a scream with every emotion.
So when Keith realizes he’s in love he punches a wall hard enough to break the skin over his knuckles.
Because why Lance? Lance, of all people, is the one his heart latched onto. Lance, who is loud and obnoxious and cares so much about everything and everyone. He, as well, puts his whole heart into every action, and doesn’t pull away from a fight— in fact, he starts most of them. It’s… exhilarating.
At that thought, Keith punches the same dent in the wall with his other fist.
He stares down at his knuckles, blood slowly trickling from scrapes, and scowls. He scowls because the first thought to his stupid brain is that it would be so nice if someone else wrapped up his hands for him. Someone with long, deft fingers who comes from a big family full of kids who fall and scrape their hands, so he’d have experience patching Keith up just right.
He kicks the wall this time.
———
He wraps his hands well enough. He has his own experience in violent outburst related medicine, so it’s not that bad actually. Not great, but whatever.
Whatever.
“Whatever,” he tells his gloves as he slips them over the bandages to keep them in place, as well as hide them. He doesn’t need Shiro mother-hen-ing him.
He hears a squeak, and turns to see one of the mice watching him from one of the desks, curious.
“Whatever,” he tells it, more force in his voice. He makes a shooing motion and it scampers off, probably to tell Allura.
Whatever.
He grabs an ice pack and presses it into his foot next. He kicked the wall with shoes on, but it was still enough force to leave him regretting the action. His boot now sits on the floor, with his sock on the examination table he sits on.
“There you are, man!” calls a voice, and Keith looks up to see Hunk entering the room.
“What’s up?”
“Well, we’re about to start movie night, but what’s up with you?”
“I, uh, stubbed my toe,” Keith says, knowing it comes out an obvious lie.
Hunk gives him a look that Keith can’t read, but changes the subject. “Still up for the movie? We haven’t started it, Lance wouldn’t without you.”
…
Hm.
Well.
Uh.
Keith wants to punch something again.
“Yeah,” Keith says, eloquently.
In his grip, the ice pack pops. Freezing liquid soaks his sock.
“Oh shit! You okay, dude?” Hunk says, closing the distance between them with large strides.
“I’m fine,” Keith says, maybe a little too loud. Gross gross gross gross gross— “Just. Gimme a few minutes to change.”
“Uh. Alright, if you say so,” Hunk says, looking… confused. Yeah, that’s fair.
Keith manages to calm down after that. Hunk leaves him to get a new sock and he spends a few moments in silence before rejoining the team, taking deep breaths.
And then the doors slide open at his approach, and the noise spills into his ears.
There’s a passionate argument happening between Hunk and Pidge about some technical jargon Keith couldn’t hope to follow. But he isn’t even trying to, because Lance is throwing his head back and laughing at their back and forth, face scrunched up in a way that oozes childlike joy.
And it’s only when Lance stops laughing and turns those brown eyes onto him that Keith realizes he’s been standing there in silence for a full ten seconds.
“There you are!” Lance says, unknowingly parroting his best friend. And Keith gets a head on look at that eye-crinkling, dimpled smile. “Thought you vanished or something.”
“I was busy,” Keith says simply, defensively. He crosses the room, standing close to the couch to look at the viewing screen. “What are we watching?”
“Yalay’s Scream,” Pidge says, “Altean horror movie.”
“Yes, after your human horror film, I have to show you something actually scary,” says Allura, who was completely unphased by the first three Saw movies. (Hunk had to leave twenty minutes into the first one.)
On screen the movie is paused, showing a title card written in spooky Altean font. Keith may not be the best at social cues, but he can hear the clear challenge in Allura’s voice. Resolute, he plops himself into the nearest seat on the couch.
Right next to Lance. If he explodes in a violent cacophony of viscera and fondness, so be it.
The movie starts, and it’s… confusing. There’s a lot of cultural subtext and commentary that Keith doesn’t understand, but he’s long since given up on trying to.
What he does understand though, is the way Lance is right next to him, their thighs touching. He feels it every time the other boy flinches or squirms. He just hopes Lance can’t feel Keith’s heartbeat just as clearly.
When the movie has a classic scene of silent anticipation, Keith can hear his own breath like it’s through a bullhorn. The whole team sits with tense patience as the lead walks silently down a narrow hallway.
Next to him, Lance draws his knees to his chest and wraps his arms around his shins. Keith turns his head ever so slightly to see Lance staring at the screen with wide, expressionless eyes.
Keith wants to do something stupid. Like put his arm around Lance’s shoulders and comfort him.
Quick as lightning, the tension in the scene dissipates. The lead is kidnapped. Hunk screams. Allura giggles.
Most importantly, Lance flinches and turns away from the screen. He’s facing Keith. He’s watching Keith watch him.
“What the fuck,” he whispers in terror, barely audible over the movie and the team reacting to it. “Why did we agree to this?”
Keith is staring. He knows he is and he should probably say something but he keeps staring.
Lance smiles, closed lips and fond eyes. “I don’t even like horror.”
“Yeah,” Keith says, eloquently.
“You do though, right? Is this actually scary or is it just me?”
Well, him and Hunk, who is trying to hide behind Pidge’s tiny frame. But Keith doesn’t know that. He’s too busy drowning. “It’s alright.” He couldn’t say a single thing that has happened on screen.
Lance squints, looking more amused. Good. Someone like him should only feel joy. “Right,” he says, before turning back to the movie. Keith makes himself do the same.
He forces himself to pay attention. Because his brain being a supercut of everything Lance Álvarez is embarrassing, even if no one else knows it.
The lead escapes her kidnapper. Someone else dies— her best friend or sibling or something. Yes yes, very tragic and sad. She takes their sword to fight the killer. Poetic cinema and whatnot—
Now hold the fucking phone and stop every single goddamn press because Lance Álvarez is putting his head on Keith’s shoulder. Keith freezes, totally rigid and unable to process anything save for the tickle of hair against his neck and squish of cheek against his shoulder.
But like. He’s sooooo normal and average about it.
The rest of the movie passes uneventfully. Well, surely there’s some resolution or scary thing or whatever but Keith doesn’t give a shit. Not until the credits start rolling and the lights turn back on— dim but still illuminating— and everyone shifts.
Pidge stands from where she was sandwiched like a human stress ball between Hunk and Allura, stretching her arms over her head. Hunk and Allura immediately occupy her empty space, talking about what they just watched. Coran adds his own commentary to the analysis— apparently he knew the director?
The noise and lights rouse Shiro, who slept through most of the film. His eyes immediately find Keith and Lance, and he smiles at Keith. A stupid, teasing older brother smile. Shiro’s known about this crush for a while, even without Keith voicing a single thought in his head. He’s apparently very easy for Shiro to read. Keith glares at him.
“Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad! Lance,” Allura is saying, and then she’s turning to face him. “tell Hunk he’s— oh.”
The entire team sees it now: Lance, curled up in a ball, leaned against Keith. Keith, a statue the color of his lion, supporting Lance. Four different facial expressions present themselves to him, but before he can decipher, Allura is turning triumphantly to Hunk.
“See? He fell asleep, it wasn’t that scary.”
“His head exploded!” Hunk shouts. Keith thinks, when?
His gaze falls to Lance. He’s apparently a heavy sleeper, if he still hasn’t risen during the ensuing argument. His face is squished into Keith, and it’s annoyingly, impossibly, terrifyingly adorable.
Fuck.
He stands up suddenly, and Lance falls into the spot where Keith just was. But Keith is too busy striding out the door.
“Wha? Huh?” is what he hears from a sleepy Lance before the doors close between them.
———
He’s finally decided to talk to Shiro about it.
He needs advice. On how to bend his mind to his will so that he can focus on literally anything else besides the warmth of Lance’s body against his. If Shiro could get straight As in the Garrison while head over heels for Adam, he’ll have to have something useful to tell Keith.
He doesn’t knock on Shiro’s door. Little brother privileges. Just opens it and walks into the already in progress advice session.
“I’m literally gonna jump out the airlock if this keeps happening, he’s just so—”
And everyone freezes. Keith, in the doorway. Shiro, on his bed. And Lance, pacing back and forth.
Keith and Lance’s eyes meet. Lance’s eyes widen. He panics.
“GET OUT!” he shrieks, arms flailing before he points out the door.
Keith doesn’t move as he processes Lance’s panicked rage. He’s interrupting something. He looks to Shiro.
“Give us five and I’ll come find you,” he says simply. He looks at Lance for a second, then adds, “Make it ten, actually.”
Wordlessly, Keith turns and walks away, the door sliding closed behind him.
He’s in his own room, doing push-ups so he doesn’t punch another wall, when Shiro finds him. He also doesn’t knock. Big brother privileges. Just opens it and strides in and falls onto Keith’s bed with a sigh.
“What’s up, kid?”
“I’m not a kid,” Keith says, finishing his push-up and moving to sit cross-legged. “What were you guys talking about?”
Mindlessly staring at the ceiling, Shiro says, “If I tell you then I tell Lance why you wanna talk to me.”
The mental image of Shiro nonchalantly broadcasting his feelings is enough to make even him let something go. “Fine,” Keith says.
“So what is it? Is it him?”
Keith sighs, falling apart to lay on the floor and also watch the ceiling. “Yeah.”
Shiro just hums in acknowledgment, waiting for Keith to continue.
“I don’t know what to do. I just keep thinking about him all the time. It’s the fucking worst.”
“Yeah, that’ll do it,” Shiro says, suspiciously sounding reminiscent.
“And the other day after the movie? I just left! Why did I do that? The fuck is wrong with me?”
“You want that list alphabetical or chronological?” Shiro quips.
Keith just sighs. “What do I do?”
“Tell him?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Keith sits up. Makes Shiro look at him. “Have you just met me?” He made Shiro order for him at restaurants for a year.
Shiro raises an eyebrow, then lets his head fall back down. “Fair.”
Keith falls back onto the floor. “Yeah.”
“So you’re just not gonna tell him?”
“Yeah.”
“And then what?”
“And then I deal with it. How do I deal with it?”
Shiro laughs, quiet and mostly an exhalation. “I couldn’t tell you.”
“Then why are you here?”
“Because my baby brother is in love and I need to support him.”
Keith groans. “Shut the fuck up.”
“No. Can I be your best man at the wedding?”
“No. Allura’s best man. Best woman. Whatever, there’s no wedding!”
“But you’ve thought about it.”
“I’ll end you.”
“Wouldn’t be the first to try,” Shiro jokes. “But you really just aren’t gonna tell him?”
“No! I can’t!”
“But do you want to?”
“Yeah, obviously.” God, Shiro is stupid.
“Then why can’t you?”
“Because it’s me!” Keith sits up again. “I can’t talk, I-I can’t flirt, I’m not smooth like him and all the girls he likes!”
Wait.
He falls back onto the floor again. “What if he doesn’t even like guys?”
It’s silent as he processes this thought. How did it not occur to him before? And then, Shiro’s making a noise, soft and muffled and—
“Don’t laugh!” Keith says sitting up once again to glare at his brother.
“Sorry, sorry, it’s just…” Shiro covers his face with both hands and sighs into them, calming his amusement. “It’s just funny.”
“What about this is funny?” Keith demands, standing.
Shiro moves his hands away from his face to give Keith a look like this is the most entertaining thing he’s seen. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it. But you should tell him.”
Ugh. “Fuck off,” Keith decides, walking away to leave Shiro alone in Keith’s room. Shiro’s returning laughter follows him out.
———
Cleaning cryo-pods isn’t Keith’s ideal way to spend his day, but it isn’t as bad as it could be.
“Okay, okay. Truth or dare?” Lance calls from the pod next to Keith.
“Truth,” Keith says, because just five minutes ago he was dared to clean a pod while hanging upside down, and he almost needed to use said pod as a result.
“Hmm… do you like anyone?” Lance asks, ever casual.
“Yeah?” Keith says, “I like everyone.” This whole Voltron thing isn’t possible without everyone getting along.
“No, like, like like someone,” Lance says, “Romantically.”
Keith pauses. Then he resumes cleaning with more vigor. “Yeah.”
“Really!?”
“Yeah. Truth or dare?”
“No, wait!” Lance says, and Keith hears him approaching. “Who?”
“That wasn’t part of it. You get one question,” Keith says, erasing the last specks of dust off the inner walls. He steps out of the pod and drops his rag.
“Come on!” Lance says as Keith reaches for a sponge for the next pod. He grabs Keith’s wrist, pulling him away from the sponge and into Lance’s space. “Tell me.”
Keith looks at that face he’s damn near written poetry about and swallows. He rips his hand away and creates distance between them, and he’s sure his glare is murderous. “Fuck off.”
“Aww, he’s nervous!” Lance teases, following after Keith, who crosses his arms and shows his back to Lance, a clear message to not poke the bear.
Lance literally pokes him as he saddles up behind Keith, one hand settling on an elbow and another on a shoulder.
“Little Keithy’s in love?” Lance asks, and it’s clear in just his voice that he’s beaming. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why would I tell you?” Keith asks through gritted teeth, his face on fire. He looks away from Lance, at the clean bare walls.
“Because I’m the best wingman this side of the universe!” Lance says, hands squeezing. “I can help you woo this mystery person. Step one,” His hand moves from his shoulder to gently tug at a lock of hair. “do something about this mess.”
Lance’s voice in his ear, Lance’s hand on his arm, Lance’s hand in his hair. It’s all too much and he’s about to do something stupid, like kiss him.
Instead he screws his eyes shut, uncrosses his arms, and presses a finger to Lance’s lips, stopping the words in their tracks. He extends his arms fully, pushing Lance away and creating distance between them.
There’s a beat of silence, neither boy moving. And then Keith feels the soft exhale of a laugh on his hand, and then another hand in his.
He opens his eyes and swivels his head just in time to see Lance pressing a kiss into the back of Keith’s hand like royalty, right on the gap in the glove, lips to skin.
Keith stares, unable to do anything as Lance, face dusted with the smallest blush, drops Keith’s hand and leans back on his heels. His smile is shaky. “Sorry Romeo, I’m just messing with y—”
Unthinking, Keith presses his palm to Lance’s mouth. “Do it again.”
Lance’s blush erupts in full force. The two maintain eye contact as Lance gently, slowly takes Keith’s hand in his again, head bowing as he presses a kiss there again, painstakingly gentle.
Keith watches as Lance moves so thoughtfully, asking permission with every shift. His hands glide up Keith’s arm, hands coming up to cup his face. There’s barely a height difference, despite Lance’s insistence, but Keith feels those centimeters like miles as he looks up into Lance’s eyes.
Lance’s eyes, which are pointed south, lower than Keith’s own eyes, to stare at his lips. His eyes flit back up, and in the eye contact a silent question is asked. Keith manages a weak nod.
Their lips meet and Keith is first and foremost blown away by how soft Lance is. He’s known for months now that Lance is capable of inhuman degrees of kindness and compassion, but it’s never been directed his way. To feel this softness, of his hands, of his lips, of how he moves, is breathtaking. Keith’s hands fall to Lance’s waist and he tries to follow along, tries to be soft too. It’s surprisingly easy; Lance makes him soft, after all.
When they part, it’s all too soon.
Lance is still cupping Keith’s face, looking down at him with pure awe. Keith’s pretty sure he’s faring about the same. They’re both still blushing, and everything is warm warm warm.
“Truth or dare?” Keith asks before he knows what he’s doing.
Lance smiles, and Keith finds the other half of himself. “Dare.”
Keith licks his lips. “Kiss me again.”
Lance chuckles, leaning back in. “If you insist.”
#voltron#safevoltron#klance#klance fanfiction#voltron fanfic#txt#mine#keith#keith&lance#if there’s any typos pls lmk i can’t keep proofreading T_T#also hello 2023 voltron fandom 🫣#haven’t been here since 2018
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Hozier is coming back to my state to an accessible venue this time <3 which means I’ll be away from the big crowd too when I buy the accessible seating ticket
I didn’t get to go last time because there is no way in hell I could ever stand for three hours again I would faint to all hell and my skeleton would simply disintegrate
#personal#hozier#I would be wearing a mask ofc just like at Sweeney Todd#I hope it’s not dry like the fall out boy concert#turned into that crispy sea creature from SpongeBob#oh man I haven’t been to a concert since 2018#and he will be here in 2024!!#I love music#accessibility#I love live music#chronic illness
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Me trying to figure out if I can remember how to tumblr
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standing at the bus stop with the winter sun, listening to northbound by grace petrie, was a moment from today that was so <3
#tw for medical things in the tags my loves#it’s been an odd couple of days - feeling things in my body that I haven’t felt since the whole 2018 year-I-almost-didn’t-survive fiasco#and I’m okay! I’m not anywhere even close to that situation now. but it’s strange to be briefly feeling like I’m sharing a body with my#17 year old self#had an almost medical emergency after my french exam but I was able to manage it myself and everything was okay#and it’s strange thinking that this afternoon could have ended up in an emergency visit but instead I got to catch the bus under a big blue#sky and think about how my city is the most beautiful place in the world in my heart. and then I got to visit my friend who’s flying back to#nz tomorrow and play cards with their little sister#life !!!!!!#if you’re still here GO LISTEN TO GRACE PETRIE. LESBIAN PROTEST SINGER WHOM I ADORE#tw death#tw medical#just to be safe <3
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#personal#wanna deactivate my twitter accs#been wanting to for a while tbh but gghhgggh#I am such a sentimental person I don’t wanna delete all my stupid fun./steel train/bleachers shit from way back when#it’s the same with my Tegan and Sara sideblog….I haven’t updated it since like 2018 but I don’t wanna delete it#and having a private twitter acc is very useful for shit I can’t post anywhere else#which I know I could just do here#but it’s more intimate there#anyway I have like 2 things to lose and everything to gain by deactivating twitter#and yet here I am#thwarted by my own sentimentality#give me a few months#I’ll get to it eventually
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sooooo what’s the vibe on the bangtan gay agenda over here 🤠
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Why is there a tumblr shop now
#I haven’t been on here much since I left for twitter in 2018#are there people who actually buy the badges and stuff?#i’m genuinely curious#tumblr capitalism
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reddit might start sucking now (even moreso), so it looks like i’ve come back to where it all began for me…
#jesus fuck haven’t been here#since like uuum 2018?#so idk what i can do here but imma do it#hehehehehe
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#I haven’t worked all that much and this the first time I am working full time#but I’m just getting angrier and angrier about it#like I’ve been working since November but I don’t even have enough sick time for a single full day#and I know it’s stupid because I’m 25 and I’m just now really working to pay bills#the last time I had a job before this was in 2018 and I lived with my dad#and then I decided I’d go to college- then Covid happened- and I stayed at home fixing up my childhood home while my mom worked#and now here i am#and I hate it#how am I supposed to do this the rest of my life?#I know I need to figure something else out but I really don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing with my life#like if I were to create stuff and sell that - that would be ideal#make what I love in my own time ya know#but I’m too worn out and depressed to put any energy into creating with working everyday
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Hope everyone is having a good Tuesday <3
#vent#I’m uh. definitely feeling some sort of way haha loolollol#I’m having sooo many thoughts rn is a </3 not feel good hooho#I had to make myself eat a snack less I starve for the following hours#waow what a lovely way to spend valentines: alone at school. alone at home. alone at dentist. then alone at home again <3#hm hm it’s ok it’s been like his for as long as I remember#I just have only recently become aware of it#and acknowledged it#*ahem* well uhm <3 anyways ahahshgoo#what was I tryna say uhhmm. valentines today#it’s a day that exists definitely lol hmm ya idk what happened for me to think like this again but here I am since. 6am </3#hohoooho bro wtf why am I suddenly so desperate for people and relationships and attention and commitment#wagg I just got overly fucked up over losing a friend in 2018 and just haven’t been the same since </3 just slightly worse </3#hm I keep on thinking about all my misfortunes thru life and all the instances that. looking back on. were me being bullied </3 sosoo havaga#yeaa. friends don’t pull out chairs from under you and make you cripple yourself from hitting your tail bone </3 and they don’t confuse you#on whether or not they like you for entire week </3 and they shouldn’t ignore you when your sitting in the backseat with bird shit on your#head cus you were the one thing in an entire empty parking lot that made a good target for a bird </3 and they don’t laugh when you get your#face obliterated by basketballs and kickballs and soccer balls and softballs and volley balls and foam balls etc.#and they don’t. ignore you. fasghgshsh okay that’s enough of that I’d rather not feel anything and I often wish to have never been close to#anyone because I’m only left with bad hollow memories when they aren’t around anymore#gghoovo g h iugghq guugg what mental illness is it when your head and face is hot from thinking lots#but your body is cold and unfeeling from lack of feeling#idk mAnnn#jus vibinn jus thinkin and vibin#I’ll be ok I’ve made it this far yknow and I don’t think I have any permanent physical damage so 👌#can’t say the same for my neurons lol but they’re still kickin
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ENHYPEN ; 엔하이픈
HAVING AN IDOL S/O
requested : yes!!!
genre : fluff, crack
pairing : enhypen ot7 x fem!reader
warnings : cursing, this is long asfk LOL
HEESEUNG ; 희승
so you two trained together
and you mutually liked each other while training but didn’t really talk much
you ended up leaving bighit in early 2018 and going to train at cube instead
so you lost contact
but you ended up debuting as the maknae of (g)i-dle
and since you debuted before enhypen, you were more well known than they were initially
you were one of the more famous members in the group in korea, so your face was pretty inescapable
so imagine heeseung’s reaction when he sees a birthday ad for you for the first time
mind literally blown
so he’s like looking you and your group up to see if it’s really you (it is)
and he’s like damn i gotta get in contact with her again
but he doesn’t have an opportunity because even from a friends standpoint, he didn’t really have time because he had to focus on training and eventually going through i-land
ok skip forward and he’s debuted yay!!!!!
so you had a promotion period that’d lined up around a year and a half later where you made a duo debut with your member shuhua while enha was promoting manifesto
and heeseung saw you backstage once
between him seeing you for the first time up until that point he’d literally been trying to find out how to talk to you again
and this was his opportunity!
so before you went to perform heeseung approached you randomly
and lowkey you’d forgotten about heeseung until you saw him again lol
and you’re like oh hey… so awkward because what do you genuinely say to someone you haven’t talked to in like four years
but when you remember that he’s the heeseung that you talked to during your trainee days (the same heeseung you had a thing for) you are more willing to talk to him
but then your conversation is cut short because you have to go perform your song
when you come back, he’s still waiting for you :((((
like that man is COMMITTED to getting to talk to you again
so then after like thirty minutes of talking (right before he has to go promote his song) he finally gets the courage to ask for your number
and you’re like shit yeah
so he texts you like every day
and during your overlapping promotions, he tries to meet up with you backstage as frequently as possible
so eventually you gain feelings for him again (and he obviously does for you) and you start hanging out
but then he goes on tour for a while
you miss him a lot
and he misses you a lot
so when he comes back, he impulsively like picked you up while hugging and you’re like um okay MARRY ME
one hangout he finally asks you out (as more than friends) and you’re so excited
so you quickly begin dating :)
dating him is definitely like dating your number one supporter
like he makes it a point to meet you backstage (even if you don’t have an overlapping promotion) and he makes you teach him your choreography
and you’re like “heeseung i can teach you this at your or my dorm” and he’s like “nope i need everyone here to know that you only teach me your dances”
you’re like “???” but don’t question it bc he’s just odd
he prefers you to go over to his dorms because of his solo room but he’s not opposed to making friends with your members even though they’re all older than him
just know if you go over to enha’s dorms though they will 100% try to be around you all the time
and don’t get heeseung wrong, he obviously wanted the members to like you, but he also wasn’t anticipating his own girlfriend being stolen from him
you almost get caught by dispatch a couple times
but dispatch fr fr catches him at MAMA
like this man was so protective of his idol image for so long and the he watched your performance and dispatch was like “WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN”
does not gaf if you’re exposed tho bc he’s like “yup that’s my girlfriend suck it she’s MINE”
JAY ; 제이
so you debuted before him
by like a year and a half, so like january 2019
you were one of the members of itzy, which was the talk of the town for quite some time
and jay was actually a huge fan of your group since he was a trainee
your group had a few hit songs in korea but jay made it seem like every song of yours (yes this includes b sides)
you’d been his bias since your teaser dropped ofc
and he made it everyone’s problem to listen to your music during practice
even during i-land there were clips of him doing the shoulder move from ‘wannabe’
but i digress
so once his debut place is secured as of i-land episode 12 he was so excited that he might have the opportunity of meeting you
but like. he had to be normal about it
so he freaked out about you respectfully
but “respectfully” to him was mentioning you as his role model and ideal type
on like every variety program possible
like damn we get it!!!!
but your and his companies thought it would be just so silly and funny if they brought you out to meet him the next time he mentioned you
and so they did exactly that!!!
he was on weekly idol and all of a sudden you came out from where the staff were filming
he actually almost fainted on the spot
and you thought it was sooo cute that he was that flattered over meeting you
so you approached him and asked him for his number
cue him almost passing out pt 2
but you end up talking quite a bit
like u come visit him quite often and he comes to visit you
and he like is literally like the perfect talking stage
so it takes like zero time for you guys to actually start dating
but when he can’t visit you he’s texting you all the time
“your stage was so good how are you real”
always buying albums for each other for support
and he’s like $$ so he buys a ton of yours (and of his if you want some)
he gets so excited when he pulls your photocard and is so happy when you pull his because he thinks it’s fate
but the one time he caught riki’s photocard in the back of your phone he swapped it out for his almost immediately
he always jokes about his bias being yuna, and so you’ve started to make a point of saying your bias is jungwon and sunghoon
and because you did that you took a picture of you and jungwon once to send to him like “proof that my bias is jungwon”
that pic became his lock screen btw
you one time said that you were an enhypen fan and midzy and engene were freaking out
they were like “just date already smh”
little did they know that you already were!
JAKE ; 제이크
you were a year and a half their junior
and you debuted in kep1er
so the time that they were promoting blessed cursed you were promoting wa da da
and like you’d just debuted too
so you had just done a stage and were on your way to your groups van to go back to the dorms
and you go to enter the first black van you see with an open door
and instead of your members you’re met with jake sunghoon sunoo!
you turned red immediately and ran in the other direction to actually find your van where yujin, yeseo, chaehyun, and hiyyih were waiting for you
you told your members and they thought it was so funny
but jokes on them
because the very next week, jake had accidentally walked into your waiting room at mcountdown
who’s laughing now!!! (you are)
after the incident, he found you and came to apologize for walking in
and you were like “ohhh that’s so funny because i actually was the one who came into your van last week!”
but after the apologies were exchanged, you two ended up walking around backstage anyways and just talking about anything and everything
after you and your members had to go perform, jake just waited for you backstage
and once you were done performing you came back and talked to him more ! yay !
but then soon enha had to go on to perform b-c and by the time he came back, your group had already left :’(
it’s okay though because you left your phone number on a post-it that said “FOR JAKE” in their waiting room
enhypen teased him so hard but he was like whatever at least i got her number
so he texted you like almost immediately
soon after, you two texted like all the time and started meeting backstage whenever it was possible
jake asked you out for the first time right before you went on stage to perform and obviously you said yes
but when you went to perform, your voice was such a bright red color that it went viral amongst kep1ians (and later other fandoms)
after that stage, jake and you just sat and talked in the kep1er waiting room for sooooo long
he’s literally the biggest fan of your group
like he’s so open and genuine about how much he likes your group, and he always somehow has one of your songs on his recommendation playlists
and those songs will somehow always be sandwiched between the most beautiful love songs ever and it makes engenes go 🤨🤨
you also are open about being a fan of them
so basically your fans and his have already put two and two together very quickly
but the suspicions were confirmed when he posted a late-night river view picture on weverse and then you posted something extremely similar a couple days later
winning the idgaf war about people finding out though
like he’s like DONTTTT CAREEEEE <3 MY GF
he actually thinks it’d be better if people knew so that no one would try anything on you because you’re taken
SUNGHOON ; 성훈
you were the seventh member of ive, also known as wonyoung’s group
and like wonyoung is your bff
she knew you found sunghoon cute from all the times you’d asked her if you could come visit her on music bank days
so she wanted to play matchmaker!
(love me not reference?!?!)
anyways
she gets ��sick” once and is like “hey y/n why don’t you stand in for me?”
and you’re like “yeah sure whatever idc it’s chill”
it’s not chill
for reference, sunghoon also thought it was going to be chill, because he had no idea that you were standing in for wonyoung
little did wonyoung know, sunghoon also found you very attractive
ofc he would’ve tried to get your number through wonyoung, but he was too introverted to even think about it
so when you get there, both of your faces are pretty red, but your cheeks at least cool down by the time you’re recording
his do not 😭
he’s like sneaking looks at you and shit
he thought he was being so subtle too about it like bye 😭😭
but fans love the interactions!!!!
and they’re sooooo stoked to have jungwon sunoo and sunghoon on the radio that you host after the fact
sunghoon fucking DRESSES for the occasion too like damn
and like you made a point to be like “nice outfit”
on the outside he was like “yeah it’s whatever” but on the inside he was shitting his pants
anyways
and so you asked him for his number because you wanted “fashion tips” (you’re a liar)
so the first time he asks you out he’s like “let me style u an outfit”
and then while doing that he’s like “let’s date!”
and you’re like “well alright”
(jk u were just as stoked)
and dating him is so relieving
because you don’t have to keep the relationship (at least beyond friends) a secret
fans love the interactions
and so when you guys actually announce the relationship everyone is so hyped
like they already expected it
but still
he never misses an opportunity to talk about you on live or on a variety show
the interviewer is like “so, sunghoon, what was your favorite part of this comeback?”
he thinks for a second. then all of a sudden, “well y/n-”
like bro we get it
he just does not even care tho bc he’s so down bad
SUNOO ; 선우
okay now so remember when sunoo was a radio dj?
yeah
so you debuted in billlie, and your song, gingamingayo had just been released
and sunoo had heard it quite a few times already on his dj show
and he’s like “ok damn i get it let me look up the song”
he became a fan so quickly
like learned the choreo and everything
so the following week on the radio show he’s like “oh have you guys heard this song it’s so good actually i’m a fan of this group”
and then BOOM next week you’re on the show he radio djs for
chemistry between u guys went CRAZY
and then you filmed a tiktok together
and posted it like a week after the radio episode had gone viral
engenes and belllie’ves went crazy
you guys had already exchanged numbers at that point too
so getting to laugh about your fans freaking out was super fun to you two
you started visiting him at radio show schedules in secret after the fact
so he ends up asking you out about a month later
and ofc you say yes
so once you started dating, he would visit you at your schedules a lot
you would often pretend to be a staff member at the radio show so you could be there without raising much question
but then one time you were a “special guest” on the radio show again, and you filmed another tiktok, but this time it wasn’t like one of your group’s dance challenges
it was like a cute trend
so once you got the okay to post it, you did
this confirmed to engenes and belllie’ves that you were friends at the very least
he always finds a way to sing your songs on live
doesn’t ever sing when it’s your part though 🤨🤨🤨 it’s almost like he wants to hear your voice
one time he came to one of your fansigns “anonymously”
people found out it was him so quickly 😭
he’s so shameless about people knowing though
after that, fans basically already know you’re dating even if you don’t outright say anything
nobody actually cares though
they’re just waiting for that third y/noo tiktok 🙏
JUNGWON ; 정원
you debuted in illit, as a result of the belift survival show “r u next?”
you came in first place, just like jungwon did on i-land
so naturally, under the same sublabel, illit and enhypen passed each other quite frequently
you’ve actually interacted quite a bit with the other members
but for some reason, their leader was a bit standoffish to you
and you had absolutely no idea why he would be
you thought that maybe it was because you’d also come in first place on your respective survival show, so maybe he had one sided beef with you?
it didn’t make sense but that’s just what you assumed
actually ☝️🤓 jungwon had a big fat crush on you
and had no idea what to do about it
like he secretly supported you on r u next? and everything
so eventually, belift decides to make a variety show for illit and enha
as the first place winners, you two are paired together, along with your japanese maknaes, ni-ki and iroha
iroha and ni-ki were already acquainted, so iroha told ni-ki about how funny it was that you and jungwon were in the same group, given that jungwon hated you
and ni-ki’s like ?!
so he like goes up to jungwon and is like “she thinks you hate her bro”
he’s so embarrassed to find out that you thought he hated you
ni-ki teases him so hard about it
so eventually jungwon admits to you (off-camera) that he doesn’t hate you, and in fact he’s quite fond of you
it lifts the biggest weight off his chest when you also admit that you’re fond of him, and that he was your role model ever since you’d joined r u next?
after filming, you two exchange numbers
he’s such a baby like seriously how could you think he hated you
it doesn’t take long AT ALL for you to start dating
in fact hybe/belift encourages it because they think it’ll be good exposure for both groups
and it highkey is
in korea, you guys gain the title of “first place couple” and omgggg knetz eat that up
you’re invited on a ton of variety shows together
jungwon is sooooo so supportive and is lowkey a stan of your group
he like sends you your fancams and is like “teach me this dance pls”
when your two groups pass each other in the hallways, enha and illit always make it a point to tease you two
you guys don’t mind though because at least you have each other ☝️☝️
RIKI ; 니키
you debuted as the maknae of loona
so you’d been in the industry a few years longer than enhypen had
so riki knew of you, but you weren’t super familiar with them
but the both of you were invited onto a variety program for foreign idols
you ended up becoming more familiar with them after being paired together with riki for a couple challenges
one interaction you had made you two go completely viral after executing a twice choreography together extremely well
both bbc and belift saw this as an opportunity to make some money, so they kinda forced you and riki to get close
little did they know that’s what you both wanted anyways lol
so like you’ll have a live with him
or you’ll film a tiktok together
or you’ll post something together
etc
somewhere along the lines you two start dating in secret
namely after you two filmed a live together
and he saw one of the comments that said “y/n please do perfect idol challenge” and you started doing the perfect idol dance on live
you started giggling because you started to forget the dance because you were embarrassed and he was smiling like a fucking maniac and then he realized he really really liked you more than a friend
and so soon after he didn’t wanna waste any more time and he just confessed that he liked you
and you were like “no way me too!!!!”
(everyone could tell)
it wasn’t super in secret though
because belift/bbc had that “bffs for life” image for you two
so you could interact freely
it just took every bone in riki’s body to not grab your hand and pull you into his arms during a dance live
but then womp womp
dispatch exposes you guys like four months into the relationship
no one cares though (except delulu fans)
so when you terminate your contract with bbc for the mistreatment, engenes beg you to audition for hybe/belift because they’re afraid if you go somewhere else you won’t be able to interact freely with him anymore and they love your interactions
you end up joining ctd, which is the company of one of the post-loona acts, along with five of your ex-members
luckily ctd is a good company so they let you and riki still stay together and still have your lives
one time riki was doing a weverse live and you showed up
and fans absolutely LOVED it
ctd is an unknown company so they unexpectedly got a lot more sales with this relationship
they were like DAMN OK
anyways
you guys teach each other your choreos A LOT
like a lot
riki eats them up so bad like fans start saying he’s the seventh member of your group 😭
a/n : had to include illit in this somehow i love them they’re so cute. sorry for the lack of posts i am sooooooo fucking busy and this was in the drafts for forever
#enhypen#enhypen drabbles#enhypen reactions#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen x reader#enhypen x female reader#enhypen x y/n#enhypen x you#enhypen fanfics#enhypen fanfic#enhypen fic#enhypen ff#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fluff#enhypen crack#enhypen x idol reader#heeseung#enhypen jay#enhypen jake#sunghoon#sunoo#jungwon#ni ki#dvrk moon
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“Arknights/Limbus Company/etc is obviously very political, why are these incels playing it?” Here’s a longer answer if you’re interested.
If you haven’t been watching gacha communities for the past decade this might be confusing to you, but these guys see the games as just apolitical stories with a majority or all-female cast being there to titillate the male viewer. They are for his consumption. It’s why in both eastern and western “gacha game” communities you can see them talking about how these games are better for having “beautiful” anime women versus the hideous hags of western media. I’ve seen so many people asking “how are incels playing a game with so many strong female characters?” They see them not as “strong female” characters but rather “eyecandy made for me”. tbh when it comes down to it I wouldn’t call any of the designs in these games absolutely groundbreaking for the anime genre they’re aiming for. Arknights even follows the standard “fully animal faced-guy” and the female equivalent “small featured anime animal girl with some fur”. This doesn’t mean the designs are bad or you’re foolish for enjoying them of course, there are a lot of fun ones. Anyway, you can see the same sentiment in the majority of anime communities as well. Like do you think that stereotype of an anime nerd who “loves 2D women but hates 3D women” means he’s a feminist because the 2D girl is still female?
To be frank, after some of the actions taken by these companies (ex. the firing of women for posting anything vaguely feminist) can you honestly say an “apolitical game with anime babes” is not the way the games are often enjoyed? The company Yostar who publishes Arknights in Korea literally wrote a statement saying the game is apolitical and calling feminism a dividing force. If the publisher can say something so flippantly like this just to appease their incel fanbase, how can the game be making any meaningful, hardline progressive political statements? I am of course not saying this renders any positive message you get from these games moot nor am I saying it’s impossible for the writers to be passionate about their work, I’m just relaying the thoughts of the incels/“gacha gamers” playing them because there seems to be confusion. What I’m writing here doesn’t mean the worst interpretation of these games are their defining interpretations. I’m trying to explain how the games that many people see as being antithetical to incel beliefs can have these same men as high-spending fans.
Gacha games are unique in the world of consumer media in their extremely close and constant relationship with the consumer. You have to not only love each character’s design (and sometimes story) but also be willing to drop serious gambling money to “buy” them every single month. It’s like merchandizing on steroids. I think the term “whale” has been watered down since younger kids have started playing, but these people spend thousands per patch. Over the years I’ve heard about multiple games like this being sustained by just a couple of high spenders. In 2018 there was even a western news article about a man who had spent $70k+ on FGO. The publisher can’t rock the boat too much to displease the consumer too many times without risking EoS. Every character design and story of a gacha game is affected by this FIRST while any artistic intent comes second.
A Korean woman who had lost her job due to similar “feminist hunting” tactics wrote an article describing the way these incel men think. I posted it here and part of it summarized: the men that play these games see themselves as buying and “owning” the female characters in gacha games, who are often dressed and presented to them in a highly sexualized manner and will obey their commands. In the same way they “own” these 2D women, they also want to own the thoughts of the real live female illustrators who work on the games. Therefore, if these women have expressed ideas that the male gamers find upsetting, they will be angry she doesn’t conform to what they want like the servile 2D girl and do everything to get her fired (this is where she mentions Limbus Company as the most recent example of this happening).
You can argue for some of these games, maybe the girls aren’t dressed super provocatively and give (you) shit instead of being a simpering doll, but in the end it’s not like they can physically walk away or stop speaking to you. For the “waifu” hunter guy it’s just a different type of anime girl to collect.
The stories in these games are generally not what gets targeted as much by incels. In gacha “gamer” communities, especially the Korean incel ones, their main concerns are: how revealing are the summer swimsuits? How many women work for the company designing characters? and related, Are the male characters designed for women or for men and do they “look gay”? If you search through this blog, you can see them directly speaking about these things in regards to their hatred of Genshin Impact and Star Rail. All of these have also been encapsulated in the original Limbus Company incel attack: they hated that the summer female character looked more “clothed” (wearing a skintight suit instead of a bikini) than the male summer character. They thought the collar necklace and open shirt on the male summer character meant he was “a slave” for the female viewers, so obviously it was designed by a woman. When they learned a man designed and illustrated those characters, they searched to find a female illustrator who worked in the game and went after her instead. These guys WERE FANS that played the game beforehand and didn’t think anything in the story was upsetting enough to attack the company about. They were familiar enough with the works of Project Moon to name their little group after an antagonizing force in one of PM’s previous (non-gacha) videogames. And Project Moon saw them as such a significant part of their gacha fanbase that they wrote an immediate apology and fired the artist. How do these actions in reality inform their fiction and the interpretation of it?
Getting this out of the way, they were NOT in any danger, the “fans” were not clamoring to get in their offices or camping outside, they were let in and calmly had a meeting with some employees at the office. You can still find photos of them goofing around, the ridiculous write up they brought with them and a transcript of the conversation. This was not a “guy shows up at Mihoyo’s offices with a knife” situation. In the end it was a financial and moral loss for the studio with many new and longtime fans completely dropping the games and Limbus Company taking one of the biggest financial and D/MAU drops for a gacha I’ve ever seen. You can read more regarding the ramifications of this here, this post is already pretty long for this website anyway.
Again I’m not writing this to shame anyone who plays these games, loves their characters or enjoys their stories. I don’t really care either way, and I obviously find the genre interesting or else I wouldn’t have been monitoring it and the fans for a decade. I just want to shine a light on the thoughts of the more “incel” gamers that play some of these games since I have seen a lot of genuine confusion as to why they would play them. In the future my aim is to write a more in-depth post about these issues, their history and the way antifeminists think.
#Arknights#yostar#hypergryph#project moon#limbus company#Genshin impact#long post#korean incel#incel ideology#gacha#fate grand order#fgo
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Evgeni Malkin all smiles talking about Mom and Dad: "They come yesterday and they haven’t been here since I think 2018 or ’19. It’s a long time ago, and it probably gives me a little more emotion, and it works, you know? I’m so mad they did not come in like, October or November."
Evgeni said he wanted Vladimir and Natalia to come earlier, but then the pandemic happened. Now it's tough because they’re a little bit older, "so it’s a little bit hard to fly because it’s almost a 20-hour flight. I hope next year they stay the whole year."
Malkin on his parents: "Before the game tonight, they were so excited. They want to watch a live game, finally. I know they watch every game from the Internet, they wake up at 3 AM in my hometown and they watch every game, they know everything. Of course, they are not happy how the team play all year, they want us to make the playoffs, for sure. But we work next year together."
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Creator Spotlight: @velinxi
Hello! I’m Xiao Tong Kong, better known as “Velinxi.” I’m the creator of the webcomic Countdown to Countdown and have been doing freelance artwork since I was a teenager. I love telling stories with my illustrations! Tumblr was where I first got my start as an artist, specifically a small fandom artist as a hobby… and now I’m somehow here! When I’m not trying my best to stay awake in front of my tablets, I’m usually cooking, gaming, or sleeping. Sometimes all three, in my dreams.
Check out our interview with Velinxi below!
Did you originally have a background in art? If not, how did you start?
Yeah! I’ve basically been on track to become an artist since I was a child. I went to a middle school with an emphasis on arts and a high school specializing in it. I went to SVA briefly for computer arts but dropped out to pursue freelance and webcomics after my first year.
Over the years as an artist, what or who were your biggest inspirations behind your creativity?
My biggest inspirations growing up were Yuumei and Shilin Huang, two titans on DeviantArt back in the day. They still inspire me today, but the list of inspirations has grown exponentially over the years, including artists, movies, entire art movements, etc.
What was your thought process behind the creation of your webcomic, Countdown to Countdown?
Well, Countdown to Countdown started as a passion project back when I was 15, in high school, and pretty depressed. I just wanted to draw whatever story I thought was cool, inspired by my favorite media at the time. There was a very loose beginning and outline, but I was truly just writing as I drew the story. That’s why I had to stop the comic in 2018 and restart from scratch the year after. Now, the story has a set story and a clear outline. It still has similar roots, characters, and themes of neglect, abuse, and escape—but I think the story is a lot easier to follow now. It’s got an artstyle I can actually keep up with in the long run. The origin of why CTC exists also remains the same: I simply wanted to make a story I wanted to read for myself. Which happens to be about two dumb boys with superpowers navigating a hostile world that wants them dead or caged—together.
Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?
Oh, all the time. It’s part of the process. Personally, though—I just have to draw through it. Every month on my Patreon, I have my patrons vote on a theme I have to draw by the end of the month, and I try my best to make it as interesting as possible. I draw quite a few—tens even, of doodles or compositions for each of these themes to try to make something that tells a story while still being aesthetically pleasing and clear. I think pushing myself like this helps with art block, really. I also do remember to take breaks and simply consume other media I like! It gets the inspiration juices flowing.
Advice you would give to an aspiring creator?
If you do one—your first webcomic should be a short, fun, messy thing. It’s not often you can get it right the first time, but you’ll certainly learn a lot through sheer experience. This goes for a lot of things in art, to be honest.
What is a medium that you have always been intrigued by but would never use yourself?
3D Animation. I briefly learned it at SVA, and I think that’s enough of that tech for me. I accept that there are some things that are truly beautiful if done right, and I am too simple and lazy for it.
What is your goal for the rest of this year?
Get Countdown to Countdown book 2 finished! And live HAHA
Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?
@yuumei-art on Tumblr, still! They’ve been a huge inspiration for digital artists and storytellers online for years. I have no doubt that many digital artists of my generation have been influenced by them, and they’re still here, making beautiful art and stories. It’s a thing to behold.
Thanks for stopping by, Velinxi! If you haven’t seen her Meet the Artist piece, be sure to check it out here. You can also follow her for more amazing art over at her Tumblr, @velinxi!
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Hello Sarah sorry to bother you. I'm a new fan kinda but I'm done with watching all the firstkhao dramas (together and individual) but tbh I'm kinda lost on how I will get to know them better. I have no idea about their irl personalities that much. Maybe you can give a little introduction for me if it's not too much of a bother? Also like how they met and why are they doing so many projects together? And are they good friends irl too (my friend told me a lot of time pair actors don't really get along with each other which is why I got curious about their dynamic) Sorry if these questions are a bit dumb I'm altogether very new in bl fandoms so don't have a lot of ideas.
Oh, Anon. I don’t think you know what you’ve signed up for here. If you want a FK primer, I can give you a FK primer!
Both First and Khaotung started working for GMMTV back in 2018. I’m pretty sure talent agents simply slid into their DMs, so there was no formal audition process, but I could be wrong about that. They were both in university at the time. I’m not quite sure what they were doing that attracted the attention of the talent agents. I know First had been in at least one commercial prior, but I don’t believe Khaotung had done any acting. He had, however, had a picture go viral because he’s just so stinkin’ adorable. I think maybe this one?
Or it could have been one of these…
Either way, they ended up in an acting workshop together right after they joined. Khaotung talks about how he didn’t like First at first because he was too friendly and talkative, but I think that must have only lasted for like a day because it was during this same workshop where he discovered that his heart beats to the sound of First’s name—“FirFirFir”—and yes, that is a real thing that he has admitted out loud on multiple occasions. They have been best friends ever since.
From there, the two of them began to act in individual projects—mostly BLs—and although I have no proof of this, I am entirely convinced that they were playing a long con to get themselves partnered together. They did way more fanservice before they were partnered than they do now. Feel free to watch this live from 2020 where they alternate between staring lovingly in each other's eyes and just outright flirting for an hour straight.
Look, they’re smart boys. They knew that their best path to success in this industry was to be in a fixed pair and they wanted that pair to be each other. How do I know? Because these two adorable idiots were showing up to events in matching outfits.
This picture was taken in January 2021 when Tonhon Chonlatee was actively airing! There's a picture from this same event of them with Podd, who Khao was paired with, and Podd looks like the odd man out.
They were finally paired together for The Eclipse in 2022 and spent the entire press tour either talking about how excited they were to finally work together or crying about the possibility that they might never be able to work together again. I would highly recommend you watch The Eclipse special episode if you haven’t already. In it, First talks about how there was one scene where Khao wasn’t supposed to cry but he kept crying anyway because First was crying and he cared about First so much.
And speaking of crying, if you want to watch a compilation of FK crying about how much they love each other (and other things!), you can find that here.
One thing I would recommend if you want to get to know FK better is to watch a bit of Safehouse Season 4. It’s unscripted, so you’ll get a sense of their personalities, but First was also in an arm cast at the time, so you’ll get to watch Khao dote on him for seven days straight.
Oh and you have to watch this! If you ever see people talking about the voices in First’s head, that's why.
Obviously, we can never truly know what goes on behind closed doors for any of these BL couples, but I feel pretty confident in saying that FirstKhao are genuine besties. They literally do everything together. You can find a collection of some of their lovestagram pics here although there are so many more now. It never stops.
Actual things they have said to each other un-prompted:
First to Khao: I want to build a house with the same fences as you.
Khao to First: As you grow up, you will meet many new friends. Leave them and stay with me.
I’m wracking my brain for anything else that feels important for a new fan to know and am coming up blank, but I’m sure I’ll probably think of something right after I post this. They’re both just super sweet individuals who have never been involved in any controversy and I think what people love most about them is just how much they care about each other. They’ve got that whole platonic soulmate thing going on and we're all super jealous.
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oh sweet live
Pairing: Pedro Pascal x actress!reader
Summary: after a short social media break after their announcement, they decided to go on live just to spoil another thing and just them answering fans.
Date: February 2018
warning/s: future spoilers(??), age gap
Taglist: @benonlinear, @t-stark35, @heyitsme-2, @elleeeee21, @holmesstrange, @tagakalat, @flyestvenustrap, @oldermenaremyreligion, @cherryred444, @avengersheart, @guacala, @pukka-latte, @hobiismyhopeu
A/N: some sort of a filler chapter cause I like it when celebrities do live and stuff.
“Hello everyone!!” You said, setting up the camera when you saw the comments flooding in. You were in your apartment about to go rest when you decided to go on live. This would be your first appearance since you’ve gone public with your relationship, so doing this without preparation or guidance is scary and nerve-wracking. But still, with you being you, you decided to do what you want and let them do what they do.
Once the camera stills from being moved around constantly, it can be seen that you were sitting on the floor in what seems like your living room, given the couch and kitchen behind you that you’ve stated was behind the living room. Sitting on the floor with just a jacket and sweatpants on, bare-faced, with your hair down just how you like it, your coffee mug near you, you looked comfortable and ready for bed. But here you were.
“Anyways, hello to those who are watching. I’m sorry I’ve been absent from the media lately…” you said apologetically as you gave the viewers a small smile. You watched the comments roll through, often about how you are, what you’ve been doing the past month, and of course about you and Pedro, the main event of your live. “…life has been busy at the moment, but I promise you new projects will come.”
Drinking from the cup, you reached for your laptop, placed behind you on the couch. “Y/n, how are you doing these days?” You read, “hmm….. I’ve been doing good, going to the gym has been a new habit of mine, and I don’t regret it,” enthusiastically, as you flex your arms under the fabric of your jacket.
“What are you doing this valentines day?” Squinting your eyes as you read it, debating whether you should answer it or not, “for valentines? I don’t know, we- I haven’t really planned anything yet,” you lied as you scrolled through your laptop.
“Where’s Pedro?” With a knowing look, you sighed, leaning back on the chair. “So it seems like the comments are filled with questions for Pedro,” raising your eyebrow you decided to tease them. “Guys, I’m the one on live why’d you keep asking for that old goose,” you joked leaning on your hand that was propped up on the table.
“You should do a q&a, y/n-”
“q&a?? How? I mean it’s not like I’ll do it,” you replied still looking at the comments. “Open your twitter and search up your name- oh now that’s interesting,” once again, reaching for the laptop placing it on your lap.
“Tha-that’s something I haven’t really thought of doing, but I’ll do it for you guys as a sorry for my absence.” The clicking of the keyboard was heard before an “oohhhh,” was heard from you. Widening your eyes, you looked back and forth from the screen of your laptop to your phone which was capturing all of your reactions.
“These are- woah. I should do this more often, it’s….interesting to say the least,” you mumbled to yourself. Looking back at your phone, the comment section was flooded with requests that you should read some tweets and say what you think. And to think that you weren’t showered with hate in the comments made you feel less tense than before and that alone made you continue.
“Read some?? Sure, but I’ll have to make sure these are internet friendly as much as possible”
Humming at the first one, “one of you guys said here, ‘I fucking knew they were dating, what kind of friends would travel alone to one’s hometown just for fun’ to defend ourselves and others who do it, many would do it if you’re close and comfortable enough with them so yeah.”
“I wish I was Pedro’s girlfriend,” laughing at that, “oh boy, umm no comment.” Your response earned some complaints from the live’s comment section, but you paid no mind.
“If y/n ever scrolls here on Twitter and sees this, I just want to ask you what is your guys’ favourite pass time snack?”
“this is cute- favorite pass time snack??” You thought for a moment,
”OH mine is some good ice cream and fried combo, why you ask? It’s because growing up there’s this small old store near my house so every time class ends I go there to get some, and it’s been my favourite ever since. And Pedro’s are- it kind of changes every time we order some in but he’s been eating tacos recently so I think that tells us something.”
Scrolling through Twitter, your reactions vary from almost bursting out in laughter, to being uncomfortable, surprised, and in awe of the sweetness of the tweets. “Y/n and Pedro are literally couple goals, from the way they were seen the past years, I can tell this relationship isn’t new,” you read. Silence passed for a couple seconds before looking at your phone.
“Should I tell to you guys? I mean you should’ve seen how long we were in his post but..” You paused as a notification rang through, “oh ok- ah going back. As I was saying, I would think that you guys should know by now but the comments say the other. So long story short we’ve been together since march of 2015,” you said as you shrugged your shoulders as if what you’ve said wasn’t that much of a big deal.
The comment section went wild at your reveal, stating that they were deprived of the information and that they should have sensed a shift in your relationship at that time of the year. you went back to checking your Twitter and this time searching Pedro’s name knowing that he has more ‘interesting’ content. As you were about to read one, your doorbell rang making you look at the phone before standing up, “be right back.”
Your rushed footsteps can be heard before the door squeaked as it opened. Whispers can be heard in the background making the people in the comment section excited, knowing the only person that would enter your apartment at this time of night was the one and only Pedro Pascal.
Pedro was seen peaking from the side of the camera before laughing and a smack was heard. Ruffling sounds started back again before you were seen in the video once again but now with a jacket in hand. You placed it on the couch as you leaned to read the comments on your phone.
“I’m back, was that- yes that was him,” you confirmed, knowing that they’ll only ask more if you denied it. “Can we see him? Uhmm..” You look to the side to where your room was, “I’ll ask him, I don’t want to if he doesn’t want, it's been a long day,” you explained thoughtfully and softly in hopes they would understand.
You waited for a bit more for him to come out, now dressed similarly to what you were wearing. “Cielo, they’re asking for you,” you whispered. “Is it on live?” Pedro was heard making the viewer's spam comments.
Nodding, “yeah, d-do you want to join or you’d rather rest?” You said reaching for him off-screen. He only stood up, making his first appearance as he rounded the couch to sit next to you. Reaching for your cup, he sips a little, “hi, how are you guys doing?” He greeted before reaching behind you to pull you to him.
“What were you doing when I got here,” he looked down to ask you. “I was reading tweets on Twitter, they told me to and I got curious. Want to join me?”He silently nods before taking your phone.
“Hi, Pedro- hello y/n’s followers. You don’t mind me taking over this live do you?” He teased which made you chuckle as you leaned on his shoulder, while the phone was propped up on his knees. Letting them have a look at your current position which the watchers found cute and “oddly comfortable” to them.
“Okayyy, so you were reading tweets right?”
You only nodded in response giving him the laptop, for him to read. “Did you buy the stuff, I told you to?” quietly as you leaned away from him to look behind you. “Yeah, I think so. But I wasn’t sure about the other things.” Humming you stood up and ruffled his hair before going to your kitchen.
“Soo internet...Let’s do this,” he went back to scrolling through Twitter. “Apparently we got our Javier Pena and Catalina Mendoza continued in real life. Hmm- actually it’s we’ve been rolling on it even before Javi and Lina got together.”
“If y/n ever needs someone to come to comfort her when they break up, I'm here just to let you know,” Laughing at the tweet he turns to you, “Y/n will you ever break up with me?” Pedro asks the very confused you.
“What? What do you mean?” You ask as you popped your head in frame, face clearly confused. “This person was telling the whole world that if we break up they’ll be there for you.”
“Ohhh, well to whoever you are yo-it won’t happen sometime soon so don’t wait up on me.”
Pedro breaks out in a smile while exaggeratingly placing a hand on his chest, “Awww, she loves me.”
Chuckling, “Actually I take it back,” a gasp was heard from Pedro before you went back to doing what you were doing.
Huffing,” okay, so someone saw us in the gym yesterday and quote in quote “if I knew they’d show up in my gym today I should’ve worn my booty shorts. Y/NNN NOTICE ME!” He shouted which made you look at him again before sighing.
“” Now that Pedro and Y/n have confirmed they're dating, I want them in a rom-com.NOW.” oh a rom-com? I mean sure, you never know, we might be working on one right now,” he teases as he looks at your phone whose comment section was wilding up.
Finishing up what you were doing, you closed the fridge before making another cup of coffee because you know for a fact that Pedro has finished it. Taking a cup, you fill it up then walked back to where he was, of course still reading off of Twitter.
“Hello again,” you said as you sat down. “What’re you reading now?” You asked peering over his shoulder.
“They were asking for spoilers for projects.”
“Oh! That’s confidential all I can say is that we’re having so much fun in shooting-“ you gesture to him, “- and preparing for it,” pointing to yourself.
Both leaning back on the couch, you slither your arm around Pedro’s waist as you point at something before laughing. He gives you a look before covering your mouth before you can speak. “Please, y/n don’t. Please oh god!” Embarrassed he face-palmed before looking at the phone.
“Fine ok ok, I'm sorry. I won’t,” you said still laughing your ass off. You reached for your coffee and gave Pedro a side-eye knowing that he was already looking at what you were drinking.
“Cielo, you’ve already drunk my first one. How ‘bout you lay off of the coffee, yeah?” A grunt was heard from him before he closed the laptop, focusing on the live instead.
“How long have you been on?”
“Uhmmm, 10 minutes I think. Why?”
“Nothing just wanted to know why you weren’t asleep yet. It’s like past midnight already,” as soon as he said that you looked at him adoringly before pinching his nose.
“Nowww, ‘can I be in your video?’ We’re not entirely sure how that works but I’m not sure sorry.”
“Someone’s asking you why you were spotted with Tom Cruise the other day,” he said with a small smirk. Knowing that you can’t really tell them why, so it’ll be fun to see how you come up with an excuse.
“I don’t know actually-no I do know, we- well I was walking to the cafe I was frequent at then he like sort of popped out of nowhere so-yeah. Isn’t that right P?” You looked towards him only to see him holding back his laughter. You shook your head no which made him lean on you circling his arms around your waist.
Changing the topic,” our plans for the summer? Of course to the beach, just not sure where,”
"Plans for Pedro’s birthday? Hmm, that’s a surprise for you guys and himmm," squeezing his cheeks.
“Who are your top artists?- she's currently listening to Adele and I’m listening to all sorts of stuff but I’d still say Prince, obviously” he sassed, making him shake with your laugh as he was still leaning on you.
“Quebec? we just visited during the winter, and got back on the second week of January, I think.”
You let out a loud gasp, “Pedro! Pedro!” slapping his shoulder.
Looking up at you, disturbed, “What?”
“Nothing was just reading the comments” your laugh was replaced by a wince when he pinches your side
“Would y/n get a tattoo soon? Who said she doesn’t have any” teasing the comment section. In which you laughed as they bombarded you with “what is it?”, “When you got it?” and weirdly enough “where is it?”
“English or Spanish? What do you mean, like in conversing or career choices?” Pedro reads aloud as he lets out a breath, which made his tiredness show.
Nodding, ”I’d like to do another Spanish film or series though, you?” You look at him playing with the roots of his hair while he answers, “I’d use any, as long as I like what’s going on.”
“Who would you like to work with- Nicholas Cage, absolutely,” you giggled at his quick response.
“I don’t really have one 'cause everyone looks fun to work with but I’d want to do more adventure or action movies” you answered, making your answer as brief as possible.
Caressing you back, Pedro looks at you, confusion painted on his face, “You’re already in one though?”
“Huh? What do you mean? I haven’t done one after wrapping up for Ocean’s 8?” You pleaded to him with your eyes hoping that he gets you were faking your confusion.
“No y/n the big one, with all the planes and jet- the one with-“ his voice came out muffled as it was your turn to cover his mouth with your hand. Silence enveloped the room as soon as he registered what he had said along with the look of shock on your face. Clearing out his throat he nods and then went back to leaning on you.
“What’s your workout routine?
“Oh, that’s a nice question” he perked up almost forgetting what he almost spoiled a while ago.
“I lift and-uhh, and running is a thing I do now.”
“It’s called the tom cruise regime guys go look it up,” backing away from him you took his shoulders to make him look at you.
Looking at him wide-eyed, conversing with him through them again. Pedro looked back at you, but this time watched as you take the phone.
“Hi, guys so uhm, we actually have to go or else you’ll have to witness the murder of your beloved Pedro Pascal. Bye!!” You quickly ended the live after that.
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x actress!reader#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal fluff#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal x female reader#jose pedro balmaceda pascal
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