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#have to post cringe to improve I guess

heavenlysfanfics · 1 year

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In the forest where no one can see (Jake sully x F!reader) ((NSFW warning))

Pandora was your dream, it always has been, to get away from earth and explore something new. And now you got that chance. You have studied nature on earth for so many years, you even got an award for it, so when you got an offer to come with and study pandora, you of course agreed.

Working with the team was a blessing, you meet so many nice people before you left for your base inside pandoras forests. However, at the time, one of your friends found your base and decided to stay for a bit, the only difference is that he is now very big, and very blue. What could ever happen?

This takes place slightly before the main events of Avatar, jake sully has still gotten his na'vi body, and it may feel bad for some, but jake falls in love with you and not neytiri, however, they remain friends, and just maybe she falls for you too 🤭

Also this is a old chapter just posted here cause why not, my writing skills have improved and won't be cringe 😔✋️

Also this is a nsfw of His na'vi form and you, but as a human, so if that's not your cup of tea then scroll ❤️

_____

Back when you were a child, you were always told you would fail, that what you would learn would not matter in the future.You decided to shove those thoughts up their asses and prove them otherwise.

The soft humming from the outside made you sit up in your bed, the air felt humid despite the planet you were on, it was still dark in the room as you stood up, the soft blanket sliding off your body as you made your way to the sealed shut window. Once your feet made contact with the floor, the hair on your arms stood up, you could feel your arms getting cold now but you leaned forward to look outside. It was yet morning, and the glowing plants you had planted outside on the small window seal glowed so very pretty against your window. Back when you were a child, being on a planet like pandora would be a dream only, but here you are. Creatures were flying around outside, their small voices were muffled out due to the window, but your eyes would follow their movements with a smile, how beautiful.

Your attention was snapped back to reality as you heard the beeping of your computer in the other room, turning your head slightly, your gaze drifted onto the screen that could be barely seen from where you stood. You recognize that face even if it's tiny. It was Dr grace.

You quickly grabbed the blanket on the floor and tied it around your wrist, hiding your underwear from the world, once done, you quickly made your way to the bed and threw over the other blanket on the floor, making the bed look decent. once finished, you started to speed walk into the small living room and quickly sat down in front of the grey computer, unlike some people. holograms never were your thing, you enjoyed the comfort of a typical computer. With quick use of your fingers on the keyboard, graces face popped up with a cheery smile, she quickly said your name before she put down what looked to be a lot of papers on her desk, and you could see some people in the background passing by, giving grace a good morning, guess they all got woken up early aswell

“Sorry for calling out of nowhere, I could use some company when I write these papers” She stated as you sat down, holding your arms on your knees, a simple smile was given from you “That's fine, glad I was the first person you decided to call,” you said while you looked down under the table, taking out a hairbrush. Grace simply laughed at you, a sweet laugh, however.

“don't tell me you just woke up, shouldn't you write those assignments, you know we need more information about site 32” She said while pushing the stack of papers to the side, tilting closer to the screen “And here I thought you were gonna write Your papers miss, but I assure you, I will be heading out to the site later today, I just deserved a small break this morning, was a tough day yesterday” you said with a sigh as the brush combed its way in your hair. “Tough day? don't tell me..do you intend on befriending that creature?” She said with a slightly raised voice, not angry but confused, you only stared back at her before you tilted your head to the side.

“I mean, it's going better now, it's not often a thanator gets close to you and doesn't Immediately attack you, I just gave it some food, no big deal, I had a way to escape so it worked out just fine,” You said with a small laugh, your eyes going over her face, despite her age, you found her still beautiful, as she kept saying minor curses that you should be careful and everything, your eyes would focus on the window, the forest was so pretty, you could never get over that. Your chat with grace lasted for a while as the sun started to light up the forest, aswell as your room. Grace had mentioned that they showed some of the new walkers their avatars the other day and that she was currently writing some stuff about it.

At this point you were laying down on the couch, chewing on some fruits you managed to pick from the forest, non-lethal of course, with a small sigh you scooted up on your sidearm and looked at the screen, Grace was writing on her notes while drinking some coffee, you both enjoyed to keep each other company even if none spoke, it was a comfort that you both enjoyed, just knowing someone is there for you.

A loud shake rattled out in your base, causing you to sit up straight with wide eyes, the teacup you had earlier almost spilled over the table, making you attempt to catch it, only to hold your hands in the air. Grace noticed your sudden movements and put down her pen, looking at the screen closer “Deary what's wrong? you alright?” Grace asked, worry hitting her eyebrows as you looked around, the sounds stopped so you looked down at your computer again, moving closer to it “I apologize to grace, I just heard something, I call you back later alright,” you said as you leaned over and closed the video call, despite graces words that you should not. Standing up, you secured the blanket closer to your body, making it look like a long skirt as you walked away from the couch, it was silent, did you mishear something?

No, you definitely heard something, the ground shaked under you before. You moved towards the corner of the room, picking up a machete that was leaning against one of the wooden boxes with food, the machete you were given by the soldiers before you left, they told you to only use it if necessary. Feeling its heavyweight in your hand gives you a small kind of comfort.

Your hands tightened around it as you walked towards the sealed shut door, feeling a part of your legs shiver, was it a beast? maybe the thanator that followed after you yesterday, once you got close to the door, you double checked it, the door consisted of two parts, airtight to make sure the air you had inside would not get out, the chamber serving as a break to close the first door, then the last one, the one you stood next to, leading into your base.

The first door started to make noise, making you hold the machete tighter, soon it started to crack open, which caused you to half stumble back. Fingers were pulling it open before you could progress what just happened, you were staring back at a na’vi, it was slightly hard to see but from the looks of it, the na´vi was struggling with the door, it pushed the door fully open resulting in light shining in. The na´vi wore clothes like humans, this caused you to lower your machete onto the ground with a sigh, feeling a small ache in your knuckles from holding it so hard.

It was one of your team then. The na’vi was struggling to fit in the small space betwine both doors, it was almost cruel to watch as he tried to gather his long legs, and it was not long until he looked towards you, the glass hiding you with a blurry image. Moving to the keypad next to the door, you typed in the password, allowing the door to slide open with ease. The na’vi looked at you now that you were in view before he climbed past, well, crawled you would say.

“Do forgive me but why are you here? Shouldn't you be at the base?” You questioned the man in front of you as you put away the machete back in the corner. His eyes connected with yours before he let a big toothy smile come out, this made you squint your eyes slightly, but once your name left his lips you looked stunned “Jake?” You questioned as you went closer to him, oh lord was he tall, grace never mentioned he was the one who got into his avatar yesterday.

If he wanted to, he could very easily pick you up with zero effort. “Sorry for bursting in here out of nowhere, look! I can walk” He stated in a very happy voice, his tail swaying behind him, you only laughed slightly as you walked towards him, jake had to crouch down onto his knees to fit in your living room. "yeah I noticed that you are soo big!" You laughed out as you stood next to him, putting your hand next to his shoulder.

"Yeah this is awesome, man you should have seen it! I was able to do so much" he stated as he shifted to the side slightly, however in doing so, his tail accidentally knocked down one of the containers of plants you collected before, and the ruckus snapped you out from comparing his arm to your own as you watched some of the seeds you collected scramble over the floor. "I'm so sorry, still getting used to this body" jake said with a small innocent chuckle as he watched the seeds roll on the floor.

you waved your hand with a small smile, signaling that it was fine before you quickly tried to get around him, but so did he, as you stood next to the fallen container and the seeds, he tried to move around to help, but he does more harm than good, before you could even pick up the container to begin collecting the seeds, he has accidentally knocked you over, making a sorry sound as he tried to grab you before you meet the floor, but alas, he was too late.

You felt pain as your ass meet the hard floor, and a loud hiss came out from your lips “oh lord that fucking hurt,” You said as your eyes shifted up to jake, however, something was wrong, he just sat there, his yellow eyes looking at you “dude what's wrong? you can't just move around like that, this place is meant for humans normally, not big blue cat men” You said before your hands went around to grab the container, the silence was almost confusing for you, as your eyes landed back on jake, you noticed how he quickly avoided eye contact “jake, is something wrong” you asked, making him look at your face for a moment before his hand pointed downwards, confused, you looked down. The blanket.

Heat raised onto your cheeks as you quickly scrambled down to pick up the blanket, curse your laziness to put on clothes, and cursed blankets for being so comfy to have around your body. “You saw nothing! You hear me!” You shouted out as your cheeks felt like they were on fire, with some quick movements, you placed all the seeds in the container, avoiding eye contact with the avatar next to you. The container was placed back on its spot as you half ran to the side of the room, pressing a few buttons.

The blanket was held tightly against your body as the floor opened in a corner of the room, once it beeped out twice, you quickly started to push jake towards the opened entrance in the floor “Just! just go down there! It’s bigger than this place so you should be able to fit” You blurted out, Jake muttered a small apology as he started himself to crawl over to the entrance, the entrance is a tad small but he could squeeze in rather easy so it did not take long before he jumped down into a much larger room, with a loud thump on the floor, he looked up at you with his ears pointed downwards, but you paid no attention to that as you left him there and sprinted to your room to get dressed. - Jake felt like a fool, he could still feel his heartbeat pounding against him, he did not intend on knocking you down, nor did he intend to stare for so long, his hands went to his neck as he tried to calm down. Sure he always liked you but seeing you like that made his head spin, his eyes glanced down noticing his tail swaying left and right, causing him to grip it and hold it still. Once it stopped moving, He held his hands on his face, dragging them along his face and making tired noises.

It was good that his body could hide his blush. his attention soon went to look around, his head tilting up at the lights on the roof, then down to the normal area. it was a decently large room, big enough so he could stand up, the number of boxes made sense to him as this looked to be a storage room, his eyes looking at different containers. it did not take long before he walked over to a few of them, with a few strides with his long legs, he got up to a shelve with different size containers. jake started to look at them all, turning a few of the upside-down. his fingers started to trace over the surface of one container with a blue lid. Eiry flowers were the label on it, his curiosity got the better of him. As they say, curiosity killed the cat, well, in this case, curiosity killed the blue cat.

He sat down on the floor in front of the shelf, holding the small container in his large hands, it was hard to get up, but only due to how big his fingers were. His legs started to feel slightly cold from the metal floor, however, his mind was focused on the container. His ears twitched slightly as he attempted to open it once again, but it popped open with a little effort, he was strong after all. His eyes scanned the inside, but the only thing he saw was a ball-looking thing, not very flowery according to him.

Hesitantly, he looked closer before he carefully grabbed it, the soft texture felt like a balloon from earth, it had a pretty color aswell, a pink tone mixed with a blue hue. He grabbed the container again from the floor and attempted to put it back, but he accidentally pressed too hard on the flower, causing it to burst. A yellow-looking powder shot out from it and into the air, his mouth widen slightly as he leaned backward and he soon squinted his eyes fast before the powder struck him in the eyes, however, he accidentally inhaled it, causing him to cough out a few times.

He opened his eyes and blinked a few times, some of the powder falling off his face. His eyes looked down at the flower, it was destroyed, he felt a slight panic rise up in his chest before he placed the destroyed flower back and closed the lid, some yellow powder falling off his shirt as he did. With a few nervous glances around the room, he moved to stand up.

His eyes would glance down to his legs as he attempted to stand up, however, he noticed that his legs wobbled once he stood up. a pain shot its way into his head, causing him to stumble forward, almost dropping the container. His tail swayed around with the occasional twitching as he held his head tightly with both hands, his body felt warm, he looked around the storage room before he tried to make his way back to the ladder leading up to your base. Forgetting the container he left on the floor - While jake was down in the storage, doing his own thing, sounds could be heard from the bedroom you owned. Oh look at that, you were laying on the bed breathing in as you attempted to put on some jeans, you were positive these fitted and you know very well you had not gained any weight. They finally snapped together making you breathe out and stand up. your hands were still on your hips as adjusted the jeans slightly, and the black shirt you still wore would remain on your body.

Your mind tried to ignore the feeling you got when he looked at you back then, I mean, you always liked jake, you truly have, however it is still embarrassing to let him see everything accidentally. With a sigh, you left your bedroom wearing some easy soft shoes you found and headed towards the entrance you left jake at. The shoes made a few squeaking noises as you walked on the hard surface, and it did not take long before you stood before the entrance. You felt your body twist slightly as you looked down.

That's odd, jake is no longer right under it, had he moved away from there? Slowly sitting down on the edge, you gripped the ladder and started to go down, one step at a time. you could hear the engines working on the side of the room, good, that means your oxygen would not run out yet. a small thud sounded in the room as you jumped down the last bit, and you soon turned around. You did not see him right away, but after walking a few steps forward, you spotted him by some of your containers.

Your mind drifted to the incident before, and you did not want him to accidentally knock down the containers, or even worse, the whole shelf “hey! be careful around those, I thought you knew better than to explore the stuff I collect- jake?” your voice changed slightly in the end as you got closer, there was jake, standing tall before you, however, he acted oddly, his ears were pointed downwards and his tail was wagging very fast, what caught your interest the most was how his fangs could be seen while he held his mouth open, and drool coming out from his mouth. your posture slightly shrunk under his gaze as you looked behind him, your eyes looking down on the floor, noticing the container with the signature flower marking. The Eiry flowers, oh lord.

Your head instantly shot up and looked at him, you had to tilt it a lot to be able to look at him now “Listen to me, I just assume you touched those flowers, very bad” You stated as he crouched down in front of you, your eyes noticing how his muscles shifted under his blue skin “What do you mean by bad? why do I feel like this?” he stated, his dilated pupils looking right at you, or right through you. This flower, it’s not poisonous in say, but it still is very bad.

Your tongue pressed down slightly against your jaw as your fingers scratched the side of your cheek “Not bad like that, its, these flowers are like an aphrodisiac, however, they don't actually control your own thoughts, it enhance already existing feelings, however, it can still make your body feel things” You stated as you turned around, not wanting to look at him.

You could already feel your heartbeat start to pound harder against your chest “I have the antidote in one of the boxes, please, just wait here” You stated quickly as your legs started to move towards a small area in the corner, but something stopped you, looking behind, jake had grabbed your arm, not hard, but a firm grip. “Don't go, just stay for a moment” He choked out as he pulled you backward, now, a normal person would have freaked out if an alien started to pull them down with them on the floor, you, however, always had a small thing for aliens, but not only that, this was jake, the person you been in love with for a very long time now.

The blush crept up on your face as he placed you on his lap, his arms wrapped around you and his face nuzzled into your neck. You let out a few noises of surprise as you relaxed onto his chest, it was like laying on a bed, warm.

This felt absurd, he is so much bigger than a normal human, and you could feel your legs starting to tingle. As you looked to the side, you noticed how his head was still nuzzling into your neck, but the notice of his tail caught your attention, it smacked against some of the containers, not enough for them to fall down but enough to make you worry. Your thoughts soon disappeared as you could feel how he purred against you, making your hair stand up on every part of your body. “jake, listen, you need to calm down” You stated as you tried to get out of his grip, your body felt like it was on fire.

However, his grip only tightened around you, before he laid down on his back, still holding you so very close to his body “don't go...I love you so much” He said, his eyes now looking into your own, they seemed to have returned to normal, but the effects are still on him. but only one thought echoed inside your mind, he loved you back. soon you slowly gave up and scooted so you laid on top of him, your chest pressing up against his body as you hugged him back, hiding your face on his chest.

He was so very warm, you glanced back up at him “I love you too, but please, you need the antidote, I don't want you to do something against your own will-” You tried saying, however, he only looked at you before his hands softly grabbed your head, their grasp almost covering your entire head “This is all on me, there is no flower telling me what my feelings are, I have loved you for over a year, please, help me” he whined out before his lips crashed themself onto yours, shock drove over you. The kiss was confusing but welcomed, his hands caressed your cheeks as he deepened the kiss. it was an odd feeling, you won't lie, his lips are slightly bigger than yours and on occasion, you would feel his sharp teeth scrape against your lips.

You closed your eyes as you shifted your position, your arms going around his neck, he softly released your lips from his as his eyes just looked at you, for him, you looked devine, he felt no regrets. His intention to come here in the first place was after all to ask you out, but now, he believes it might go somewhere else. His hands wandered down to your hips as his lips traveled down to your neck, you let out a small yelp as he licked the left side of your flesh, your blush was over your entire face, which he thought was cute, however, his attention went somewhere else. Your hands gripped onto his over arms as he pressed you down slightly against him.

for a moment he whispered your name before he bit your shoulder softly, his canine teeth not fully breaking the skin, but enough to leave a mark. You could feel your insides churning around, you were getting aroused from this, but thoughts began to shove their way into your mind.

How would this even work, do they even have a.. your thoughts were interrupted as you started to feel something press against your clothed sex, and a small groan came from jake as his tail kept smacking against the floor. Oh, well that answered your question, he wanted this aswell, he told you so. You bit your lip slightly as you moved forward, and then back again, grinding yourself on whatever had poked you.

The friction made you let out a small moan, and soon his hot breath against your neck increased instantly “please- don't tease me” he whispered as one of his hands moved up again along your body, but this time, it went under your shirt, you felt yourself growing more and more curious, so you let him. His large hand soon found its way to your breasts, gripping it slightly, while the other hand sneaked its way into your jeans, however, it seemed to have a small issue as they were tight against your flesh.

The sound of your jeans button popping off made you flinch, but once his hand sneaked down your pants, the button was no longer a concern. it was like electricity shot from you as you let out a small moan, which only caused jake to bite your shoulder again, his tongue pressing against your skin each time his teeth rasped against you, his arms held you firmer pushing you closer to him. No more words were said at this point, only soft panting and small moans that came from both of you.

His fingers would tweak your nipple at times, his large hand switching from mound to mound while his other hand held a tight grip on the side of your ass. You had your head nuzzled up against the side of his head, your breath echoing next to his ears. You had to do something to feel any kind of friction, at this point your mind was going insane, the feeling of his large hands on your body made you want more, so you started to grind on his clothed member slightly harder.

The first thing you noticed was how wet you actually were, however, it was an annoying feeling how you could only sense a little part of him against you, with some trembling hands you pushed yourself closer to him, kissing the side of his ears your words echoed into his mind, making him shiver under you “jake..take them off..please” You half begged as you moved your arm downwards to your own pants, but his hold on you made it tough. A small chuckle from his lips made your cheeks flare up once again, as his eyes looked into yours “of course love, I just need to-” he said before he removed his hands from your body, making you whine as they left you, however, they returned soon enough, only to flip you down on your back and with him on top of you.

His size alone made you excited, a normal person would be terrified, you, you have never been normal. His hands gripped his own shirt as he tore it off, his body looked slightly different from a human, but it still held a few humanoid qualities, which on its own was attractive to look at. He shook his hair slightly as he leaned to the side slightly, using his large hands to lift you up and close to his chest, almost like you were a newborn child. A small yelp left your lips as he held you close "easy now.." Jake said with a small chuckle as he moved the shirt down onto the floor, with a few tweaks with his hand, it looked like a blanket enough for your body to lay on.

He kissed your forehead before he laid you down on his shirt, he stretched his arms slightly before he sat on his knees above you. He looked down on you again, with so much love in his eyes as he slowly inched his hands closer to your own shirt, he hovered them over the fabric, waiting for your permission.

Your excitement was above the roof, and with a quick nod from you, he pulled off the soft fabric from your body, you have never been a person to enjoy a bra in the first place, he knew that from way back so it was not a surprise for him to see your bare chest, after all, just moments ago he had fondled with them.

He soon returned to his original missions, the fabric that was holding a part of your body hostage that he so deeply needed. he leaned down and softly kissed you again, pressing his tongue slightly against your lips, you allowed him, kissing him back as good as you could, he was so careful to make sure you did not choke on his tongue.

His fingers had squeezed their way into your jeans, hooking the edge of your underwear and jeans at the same time, and as you both kissed, he slowly tried to get them off you, but they still holder a tight grip on your thighs, making him slightly growl at the annoying fabric. Breaking the kiss, you moved your legs up to assist him, making it easier for him to remove your clothing, and soon enough, your body was on display for him.

His eyes wandered down and he could feel his entire body burning with lust, and the aching feeling from his cock only made him pant in excitement “Listen..I need you, so bad” he stated as his hands made their way to your exposed pussy, spreading it apart, you ached your back slightly, you were so sensitive. "That's fine, just..be careful" You stated after you relaxed again. His ears flicked slightly at your sounds as he soon pushed his finger inside you, bigger than a normal finger, it caused you to moan out slightly. It was obvious why he was doing this. he was preparing you.

After a few thrusts with his middle finger, he quickly inserted another finger, enough for him, but for you, it felt like four fingers were inside of you, slick wetness started to make noise around the storage room as he moved his two fingers around inside you, while his third focused on the sensitive nub that caused the main pleasure.

Your hands would grip his shoulders as you moaned out, the odd feeling inside felt wonderful, the way his fingers curled up against your walls, reaching in places your own hands could not and god was he gorgeous to look at, the way his eyes were focused on your own the entire time, the way his sharp teeth showed themself after every pant he made. it did not take long before you ached your back up, you could feel an orgasm starting to form. With some pants and moans, you began to grind yourself on his fingers, jake took notice of this and removed his fingers from inside you, making you whine out in annoyance. He only laughed slightly at you before he put the fingers inside his mouth.

You stared in awe as you witnessed him cleaning his fingers of your arousal, his tail making an odd movement at the same time. His braid fell forward as he removed his fingers from his mouth "I won't lie, you taste good" he said with a smirk, you felt your breath hitch as his teeth with that smirk appeared. He climbed back above you, his shadow covering your entire body. His eyes glanced down slightly before his hand went towards his own pants. You could hear how he fiddled with the buttons and then the zipper. Your breath almost stopped as he slowly pulled out what you would assume, would be a na’vis reproductional organ, or in human terms, a dick.

You made a slight laugh, causing him to return his gaze towards your face “What so funny?” he questioned as he used one of his hands around his cock, and the other one to lift your lower body up slightly “nothing, just never even knew you would have one of those” you said, your eyes scanning it, it was hard to see fully due to the slight darkness of the room, but you could tell it was blue and pointy, which is something you were not used to.

He only laughed himself as he moved you closer to him, the tip teasing your folds slightly, making you groan at the friction, stopping yourself from grinding on it “Yeah neither did I, but kinda glad I got one that I can use” He said before he pressed his forehead against you, a sweet gesture, for a moment you held his cheeks with your hands, with a small effort you kissed his nose "I love you" You said with a small smile, your eyes connecting with his own. He looked so happy and he truly was.

You were both still at the shelf, but during your moving around on the floor, things had turned darker around you. it was almost like his skin was glowing. Your arms went around his neck as you nodded slightly, giving him the alright to continue. You could feel how he shifted above you as he lowered himself down just a tiny bit, making his cock push itself past your folds, the tip entering your walls, you closed your eyes slightly, it would fit, you were not too tight, after all, you wanted and were aroused by every move he made.

Jake kissed your cheeks as he slowly pushed more of him inside you, kissing up any tear that fell out, he knew this would hurt slightly at the start, but he would make sure you were alright. You, on the other hand, felt like your entire body would break, you tried large toys before back on earth, but nothing is fully like the real thing, you felt how it pulsated inside you, making you let out small moans as your nails dug themself into his skin “You are doing great love” he reassured you as his tail wrapped itself around your leg, a calming gesture once again. Once fully inside you, he stayed still, allowing you to breathe for a few minutes. You both laid there in the storage room, his words were the only thing that entered your ears, after a few minutes you breathed out one last time with your eyes closed.

You opened them again and nodded your head, He smiled slightly before he leaned down once again, bringing your lips to his own as he slowly pulled out of you, before he thrust back inside, your body was rocked forward as he held you in place, his kiss kidnapping any moan that left your mouth. His hand held your body flush against his as he started to thrust at a steady pace, your walls clenching around him causing him to release his mouth from yours. Moans left both you and him, even if he tried to stop his own from coming out, the flower made him so sensitive.

Your eyes wandered onto his face, he had his eyes closed and an open mouth, once in a while you noticed how his ears would twitch each time you let out a moan. Your breasts were bouncing slightly back and forth as his thrust started to increase, and he soon wrapped his arms around your entire body, pulling you up slightly. With the new position, you could feel him hit your cervix, the feeling making your moans louder.

The sounds you both made echoed out in the storage room, you could hear everything so clearly, and so could he. You started to beg him to go faster, panting it out close to his ears, if you weren't so deeply focused on his cock thrusting inside your body, you would have heard how much he was purring, however, it was drowned out by the sounds of your own moans.

His hands traveled around your body as he started to speed up his thrusts, you could feel how your orgasm was closing in as your walls tightened against him. The feeling of him pushing against your walls every second made you squirm around in his grasp, as one of your hands gripped his hair slightly making him groan against your flesh.

You pulled him closer to your neck as your moans increased “I’m close- jake, more..ah” you moaned out louder, you could feel the bubble growing inside of you, Jake sat down onto his knees, moving you with him until you were bouncing on top of him together with his upward thrusting, this angle made both of you moan even louder, his tail had let go of your legs, as it was wagging behind him fast.

You did not have much time to think, you wanted him inside you so you wrapped your legs around him and locked themself together. jakes panting next to your ear was erotic, and not long after he started burry his face onto your shoulder, his moves started to get sloppier by the second, and soon enough, you could feel him shoot his warm seed inside you. "good girl..you take me so well" He moaned out as he thrusted slightly faster against your cervix.

The hot seed filled you up, splashing against your walls and cervix, this caused your own orgasm to take place. He bit into your other shoulder as he rode out his orgasm with your own, his large arms wrapped around your body. Soon, you were both panting, you felt so very tired, you could barely keep your eyes open as he slowly slid out of your hole. The cum dripping out of you, the feeling of it sliding against your skin made you moan slightly again

“man... I sure hope the na’vi and humans don't have close enough DNA to make the other one pregnant” you muttered out slightly as you nuzzled your face against his neck, kissing his perfect blue skin, jake layed down again with you on the floor, he was panting hard with closed eyes, before his smile returned, showing his teeth “I doubt that” he said before he laid on his back, pulling you on top of him.

You both looked into each other eyes, no words needed to be said, he grabbed his shirt and pulled it over your naked body, and together with it and his body, you started to get sleepy. He himself had felt the flower effects disappear a long time ago, he just wanted you for a bit longer. He stared up at the ceiling, his ears twitching slightly as the machine in the corner of the room kept making a buzzing noise. Soon enough, you were laying with your head on his shoulders with closed eyes, sleeping soundly. Jake decided that he could stay here for a bit longer before he woke you up from your sleep, you needed it.

He chuckled for himself before he nuzzled into your hair, breathing in your scent “I love you” he said before he closed his own eyes, just resting, not enough to pull him back to his human body, but enough so he could regain some energy. The storage room was silent now, the occasional snoring from you was the only thing making a sound alongside the buzzing of the oxygen machine. Oh how things can go on this planet. And none of you complained about it.

// Full fanfic and chapters will be posted on Ao3 first!

#jake sully x reader #avatar #jake sully #monster lover

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natalyarose · 5 days

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𝑅𝑒𝒻𝓁𝑒𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓂𝓎 𝒶𝓇𝓉… (𝒽𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜, 𝒮𝓊𝓃 𝒾𝓃 𝐵𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒶𝓃𝒾!)

~ This is a bit of a personal one lol, maybe I'm getting a little too comfy on tumblr- but hey, I like it here and I'm very grateful for everyone who's taken an interest in whatever I have to say :)

~ tagging this on Nakshatra tumblr because I feel like this reflection perfectly encapsulates Venus Nakshatras and is very aligned with the Sun moving into Bharani, the birth of Venus among the Nakshatras

// warning, cringe and angsty lmao

I have such an odd relationship with my artistic process. Unconventional? Stubborn. Sometimes just straight up bad lol.

I want to create beautiful, meaningful things, yet I have this sort of extreme resistance to being perfect or professionalism (however, somehow perfectionism and such a ruthless self-antagonism for not being 'enough' at the same time..).

It's almost like I purposely sabotage my art by intentionally leaving in mistakes, or leaving it somewhat dishevelled in protest of perfection. In hopes that the beauty and artistry still manages to shine through to the right people.

I guess it's also this thing where I feel like the imperfection makes art more unique, more exclusive- more personal & dearly held to the people who do find the beauty in it that I initially wanted to communicate. But, there is a difference between artsy, grungy, rawness and... just being crap, lazy, unrefined, undisciplined. (I'd never refer to someone else's work in this way but myself... mann).

Knowing full well that my artistic creation likely 'needs work', is not a finished product and will very likely be criticised for its' imperfection, I still have the overwhelming urge to go ahead and share it with the world/post it. In all of its' messy (again, maybe just straight up bad lol) glory. Then I wonder why I'm not gaining the traction I want haha. When I inevitably receive criticism, I get so hurt by it, I beat myself up and it eats at me to the point that I can't sleep at night, I'm up reciting the criticisms in my head and weaving them into my very own nightmare!

I don't understand why I do this to myself lmao. Later on after posting & putting myself out there, I hear that imperfection in the song, I hear those vocal parts I stubbornly left in and didn't want to redo, I see the dodgy brush strokes I refused to fix up in the name of authenticity, and I cringe. In fact, I feel such a deep shame for it all that I take everything down out of embarrassment. Even though it was fully my decision to put up something amateur sounding and imperfect.

Maybe it's something like the weight of desire for perfection is too much, so I just go 'to hell with it!'.

It's like an endless cycle for me, and I realise that over the years, if I'd just left things up online and was more patient with myself, I'd probably have cultivated a following of some sort by now, or maybe used peoples' criticisms to improve the art to a greater extent. I mean, there are people who have mentioned to me when they notice the art is imperfect and needs work, but there are just as many lovely people who have gone totally out of their way to express deep appreciation for the music/art I've put out and enjoyed it.

Here's my 'theory' as to why I do this to myself: when I create art, I don't just want to make pretty things, though I want that too. I want to be loved, and FELT. I want to bring people to this raw, vulnerable place in my heart where my ideas emerge from. I want to be loved not in spite of the imperfections, but alongside them, all encompassing.

I don't want to have to be perfect, have $1000 worth of equipment, hours and hours of recording time trying to 'get it right' in order to be understood and deemed beautiful. I don't want to show off how perfect or skilled I am either, I want to make people feel something. I want it natural.

r a w.

I kinda enjoy for art to be unfinished and slightly unpalatable on purpose.

Maybe it's a bit of entitlement on my part, expecting that even if I do a mediocre job, people will still enjoy it and see my 'talents'/message.

Truth be told though, that's how I love other people, how I enjoy others' art as well, it's not just something with me.

When I listen to artists I love, I adore seeing something beautiful, yet somehow messy and jarring. A sort of underground-esque, 'wild feminine' creation. It evokes that much more feeling and passion that something designed to be perfect just lacks to me.

I can't get into a lot of bands that are considered 'objectively good' by many people because they just sound too perfect to me- There's a lot of times I come across artists that sound technically good, very clean but my heart just can't get into it. I find myself listening and thinking 'I wish this was recorded on a toaster', or 'I wish there was a more rough sound to the vocals' lol, I crave the rawness & intimacy that imperfection and roughness lends.

Ugh, it all creates such an internal conflict- like I want my art to be seen, to be loved yet I somewhat reject things it takes for the art to be considered objectively good & well rounded.

The harsh reality might just be that just because I see the beauty in imperfection, just because I know I've got this personal, very niche vision of what 'good' sounds like/looks like in my mind, that doesn't mean other people are going to find value in the same things.

Of course, maybe all of this is just pretentious excuses & my own self-hatred manifested (I don't actively hate myself, I try to be much kinder to myself these days but yknow)

Anyway, I realised that it's the start of Bharani season in galactic centre mid-mula Ayanamsa today & I think this write up really aligns with that.

Thankyou for reading lol.. again, a bit of an angsty personal thing but maybe it could be relevant to someone, if y'all wanna know what Venusian artistic angst looks like in real time lmao 🖤🥀

#nakshatras #astrology #music #artist #aesthetic #vedic astro observations #venus

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kyupidos · 6 months

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CONGRATS ON 100! i've been a reader of yours since the beginning, and you've greatly improved; your writing is awesome,, you deserve the milestone! for your halloween event, id like to request the dialogue prompt: "ah, you've made the mistake in thinking that just because this is a couples costume that you get any kind of say in it. you don't, actually." with ace trappola,, i think it'd be really cute! thanks so much, congrats again!

10/19/23’s delivery 🏹✉️ twisted wonderland

prompt 3 🕸★ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊ 🕸★ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊ 🕸★ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊ ;; summary. ‘ah, you’ve made the mistake in thinking that just because this is a couples costume that you get any kind of say in it. you don’t, actually.’

100 follower milestone event homepage <- ! | event m.list

characters. heartslabyul : ace trappola ;; romantic . 🕸️ tags. reader is gender neutral ( you/your ), reader may or may not be yuu ( up to the reader ), romantic fluff

📞 _a/n. tysm for the congrats!! i’m glad you think i’ve improved, and i’ve noticed it too since i cringe at my earlier posts LMAO thanks for sticking around so long !! ( so sorry for getting this out so late, and so short too, but it’s been a busy couple days </3 )

a. trappola

— when you introduced him to the idea of matching costumes, it was safe to say that ace was feeling rather giddy. wearing couple costumes while traversing night raven for tricks and treats, the idea got him excited. of course he wouldn’t admit it, but even simple things like wearing matching fits always seemed to get his heart pumping faster than usual. for him, it was always in the little things, he supposed. you told him that you were going to go look for ideas on magicam, and for the few moments you stopped texting him, he spent internally giggling giddily to himself.

— some days, maybe two or three, had officially passed when you came up to him with whatever you apparently had in mind. you pulled up to his dorm, laying out on his bed the costume of choice. he stared, blinking once and then twice in perplexity of the costumes laid out, one of which being that of a cherry, and the other being a pie slice, presumably. “huuuh? what’s this?” ace questioned, with as much genuinity as possible as to not be rude, taking hold of the fabric of the cherry costume with his pointer and thumb finger, “this’s what we’re wearing?”

— in response to your casual nod, ace couldn’t help but tilt his head puzzledly. “of course, ‘cause you’re the cherry to my pie.” you spoke pridefully, peace sign in the air, and ace couldn’t help but snort. “eh, that so? then i guess i don’t mind it that much,” he accepted his fate easily, already used to your persistence even with the little things like this. maybe, he concluded, that’s why he enjoyed them so much, holding up the cherry costume completely with his fists now, looking at you as you held your own costume, holding it up to your chest as if to see if it fit, though you knew it did, in the meanwhile. “but i kinda figured we’d have a whole talk and a half about it.”

— you tutted smartly, wagging your pointer finger pointedly. “ah, you’ve made the mistake in thinking that just because this is a couples costume that you get any kind of say in it,” you lectured, a comedic sweat drop falling down the side of ace’s face as you easily continued, “you don’t, actually.” he just laughed in his amusement, ruffling his hair as he took a good look at his costume again. he guessed he did like it, after all—it wasn’t exactly what he expected it, but it was good enough for him. “alright then,” ace smiled for no reason in particular other than his mind wandering towards his daydreams of the both of you wearing your outfit together, “pie to my cherry, let’s wear it.”

#🦢 swan signed !#kyupidos #100 follower event 🗞️ !!#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twst x gn reader #twst x gender neutral reader #twst fluff #twst hcs #twst headcanons #heartslabyul #twst heartslabyul #book 1 #twst book 1 #ace x reader #ace x gn reader #ace trappola x reader #ace trappola x gn reader

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thana-topsy · 9 months

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If you're up for sharing more writing tips, how can I tell if what I've written is actually any good? With writing I get stuck in a cycle of feeling like I'm the next Shakespeare while writing but then I'll look over my work a few days later and absolutely hate everything and think it's the most cringe shit ever, then I'll leave it a bit longer and think eh it's not as bad as I thought but still not great and so on. I feel like being forced to write for a grade during school and having everything be marked and assessed and assigned a particular value has robbed me of the ability to critically analyse my own work in a way that's objective and accurate but also fair and realistic. I can analyse other peoples' stuff till the cows come home but I lose all rational thought when it comes to my own stuff

Adding onto that, how do I get to the point where I can stop looking back at my old work and hating everything and wanting to delete it all? Realistically I know finding fault with my old stuff is good bc it means I've grown and improved from where I once was etc but at the same time I wanna enjoy stuff I've made in the past without cringing every time I read it

Hey there Nony, I wanted to let this one percolate a little bit before answering because I've been where you are. And it's a rough time for sure. But aside from my own experiences, I also wanted to get the opinions of some of my writerly friends in the fandom, too, since everyone is a little font of wisdom in their own right.

So I'm going to share their advice alongside my own, because this is kind of a complicated string of questions you're asking. Long post ahead!

@paraparadigm says to Keep Writing: "Write more. Write so much (and so many different things) that eventually the sheer volume bulldozes over self-devouring ego, comparison twitches, or feeling lost, because you don't yet know your own baseline. Coupled with "read more, read everything, read things you enjoy and things you don't, read for the craft as much as the entertainment." And: "I'd add that when revisiting old writing, it's helpful for me to differentiate between "ew the writing is not as technically solid as it is now" and "ah that's interesting, I guess that's where I was at then, emotionally and psychologically". Old writing is also a sort of archaeological record of your younger self, and that can, in fact, be a bit itchy to revisit, so learning to cherish that without passing judgement can be really helpful. I try to treat it like those little marks one puts on the door jamb to track a kid's height."

@mareenavee says "Part of it is writing more, as Para said and I will always second that. Another part is, honestly, the hardest part. It's to try very hard to get out of the habit of negative self-talk.... There's so much work involved with this but normalizing being proud of your work and having some grace with yourself is part of that answer."

@archangelsunited says "Early on, instead of going “this has to be a masterpiece” I would tell myself my only job was to tell a story. I couldn’t tell a story if I was deleting it. Also, talking about your work helps. The less ashamed I was of my writing, the more people wanted to read it. There is a need to hide your work, and that can lead to a downward spiral all its own. And, 90% of the time, you have to suck at something to learn to be good at something. The work you already wrote shouldn’t be the sum of all your skill, it should be one of those measuring sticks for the moment. Despite previous thought, you won’t be stuck at the same level forever."

@polypolymorph says "In addition to accumulating experience via reading and writing, you also have to be willing to reinvent the wheel. Unfortunately the Process™️ is unique to everyone, and even when you are deliberately mimicking a voice as, say, a ghost writer, you can't expect that 2+2=4 for you. Your process might look more like a Lotka-Volterra equation for the same type of work and that's okay. Trial and error is the best way to figure out what advice actually works for you--and if it doesn't, it doesn't mean you're wrong. Don't get stuck on pop writing advice like a sad roomba does on an upturned rug. Learn when to throw it out."

So there's some advice from some other excellent writers! I hope you've been able to find some value in their advice, because it certainly kicked me in the pants a few times.

As for me, I think, having been where you are, my biggest piece of advice is: Find joy in the craft. Get curious instead of critical. An artist shouldn't down themselves over a rough sketch when they're working out a drawing, so why would a writer do such a thing? Everything you write is practice. Everything you make has value because it builds up to the next thing you make.

At the end of the day, you are the only one who is capable of telling the stories that are in your head. This fact alone gives whatever you put onto paper value, regardless of quality. You are creating magic, in the most literal sense! Creating something out of nothing, conjuring images into someone else's mind from hundreds of thousands of miles away, transcending space and time. It's amazing!

Lastly, my final piece of advice is to just write for fun. Write things nobody else will ever see just because you wanted to get words onto paper. You have to unlearn what was drilled into you in school. You are more than a content creation machine. You are an artist, a wordsmith. And just know that there will never be a day when you look at your own work and say "That's it, I have achieved perfection."

Writing is a life-long journey. Just enjoy the ride!

#topsy's asks #writing #on writing #writing advice #writeblr #fanfiction

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thisisthiago · 10 months

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WeHeartIt is dead.

It died in 2023, during a sunny June, though the process started taking place way before that date. It’s unclear, though, the reason why it started to happen. And, since I’m not a journalist, I might focus on why it meant so much to me for so long.

WeHeartIt, famous for embracing thousands of people around the idea of creating personal galleries and sharing them with friends, was born in 2008 from a Brazilian developer. He came up with the idea of creating a platform where people could save, share and, most importantly, heart images.

And didn't that work out? At its peak, the social network had 25 million monthly users and partnered with brands such as Teen Vogue to promote content and increase that reach. Of course, there was always Pinterest, but this wasn’t it. WeHeartIt was a hot mess of posting and hearting and expressing ourselves through the images we saved or the postcards we sent or even the collections we built. Of course, you could open Pinterest and organize your ideas, wishes, and... crochet templates, I guess? But at WeHeartIt, what looked like a mess would then become a gallery with layers of meanings and feelings, resembling the rings of trees. Our profiles, as rings of trees can tell us about a harsh winter or a particularly hot summer, would have layers composed of travel dreams, romantic ideas, or heartbreaking moments. It was safe and, as a 2018 article from Women’s Forum would point out, it was a mood booster.

Can you imagine such a lovely mess? "Dancing On My Own" was at the top of the parades (at least for hipsters worldwide), Tumblr was the next most favorite network, and Facebook wasn’t as cringe as it is now. In the middle of all that, WeHeartIt was thriving. Saving us from the boredom and helping us all to create a gallery where we could go back to see (and feel) all that was there to remember.

But then, things started to go somewhere out of the road, and we learned that good and new features don’t necessarily mean improvement. The app didn't have to try and be anything else. Of course, a design refreshment is always welcome, but some of the updates were simply needless or had no sense at all. All of that led to what we encounter today when we go into the platform website.

I won’t refer to all of the annoying-but-still-not-changing-the-core-of-the-app updates and features. I’m talking about ads, postcards, articles and yes, podcasts. Though all of these were meaningless and even annoying, they never interfered in my possibility of using the core functions of the app: managing my profile, visiting other people’s profiles, and hearting images.

Then, all of a sudden, WeHeartIt starts rolling out a message saying that the app will now focus on other features and so, they would do part with profiles and hearting. Yes, you read that correctly. The owners of the app decided that the main functions of the website should no longer be available, in order to redirect the main focus of the app to photo editing.

As I said in a rather harsh review of the latest version of the app in Apple’s App Store:

The so-called "photo editing" capabilities are laughable, barely a patch on dedicated apps in that domain. It's utterly disheartening that even a relic like the 1967 app surpasses WeHeartIt as a creative tool at this point. There appears to be an overwhelming lack of satisfaction with this so-called "upgrade."

Though scattered around the web, many of the platform users have shown their discomfort with the current state of the app. A quick search on Twitter, Reddit, App Store Reviews, and even Tumblr shows us. Even though some users still try to make some of the old features of the service work, it’s only a matter of time until the database is updated and we no longer have access to any image at all.

It’s sad that WeHeartIt is dying. The idea was great, and the execution worked for a while, but now it just looks as if the owners of the platform are looking for an excuse to shut it down permanently. We might as well just end up with a page like the former ffffound.

#weheartit #ffffound #we heart it #grief #hipster #vintage #aesthetic #tumblr #pinterest #love

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enigmaticwriting · 6 days

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Oh good lord... first writing post in nearly seven years, here we go. This is a small scenario that I've thought about for a few days and decided to write out as a mini-story.

Yes, it's an OC with an AU of Call Of Duty: Ghosts. This takes place a bit before the game story, I guess? I just wanted to try this out for like.. I don't know, really. Character building? Backstory? Random late night idea dump? Still learning. ^^'

Also- I expect this to be cringe and dumb, but I wanted to try and share a small story in a 3AM-spur-of-the-moment thing. I don't have much else to think about while I'm at work during the day, so this gets me by. :p

Please feel free to leave feedback so that way I know where and how I can improve my skills in writing and storytelling! Constructive criticism is appreciated and welcome. Hope you enjoy the thingy here, and if not, I apologize in advance. :>

I will also warn that this was typed out on my phone... so... apologies for grammatical errors and typos.

/\/\/\

A large roll of thunder rattled the house, startling Eliana from her sleep. The six year old curled up, hugging the blankets around herself protectively as she stared at the darkened window with wide, watery eyes.

The pattering of heavy rain danced along her window, temporarily providing a moment of solace for the child. A minute distraction from the initial fright. A flicker of light in the distance, streaking across the sky, caught her attention, her fear replaced by awe as light filled the room.

But only for the moment.

A clash and low rumble of thunder rattled the house again, causing little Eliana to scream and hide under the covers of her bed.

The bedroom door creaked open, and a soft voice called out. "Eli? Are you okay?" It was her older brother.

. . .

Eighteen years later.

The harsh cold seeped through the waterlogged fabric and material of the ghillie suit, caked in mud and debris. Under the cover of the stormy night, the sniper within remained still, lying prone along the crest of the ridge, hidden in tangled brush and overgrown grasses.

A brief flicker of a brilliant, blueish white light danced across the dark skies above, bathing the war-torn terrain with artifical daylight for a half second. A distant rumble breached the ambient rain. The sniper held firm despite the minor tension from the weather overhead, rifle propped on a bipod, and well hidden with various surrounding materials tied along the frame and stock to create an almost seamless camouflage with the surrounding nature.

A crackle of the radio broke through the sniper's focus. "Aspen, what's your status? Over." It was her comrade, Lieutenant Calvin Peters; her superior and teammate.

The sniper, Aspen, shifted carefully, speaking quietly into the comms system. "This is Aspen, nothing yet, sir. Over." "You getting cold out there?" Peters asked, almost teasing. "Negative, sir. I thrive in this weather." Aspen said in return, letting a bit of amusement bleed through her tone.

"No, but seriously, Eliana. I don't want you to get bloody hyperthermia over this." Aspen sighed softly, lifting her gaze away from her scope to glance in the general direction of her comrade, somewhere in the bushes nearly sixty-seven meters away.

"Hey, watch the names." She mumbled as she glanced back towards her scope and the target beyond. "I'll watch the names when you watch out for yourself. What happens if I'm not here one day? Hm? Just gonna freeze to death while skipping meals and ignoring your basic needs-"

"Okay, that's enough, I think we get it." A third voice entered the comms channel, their team captain. "Focus up. Both of you."

"And stop skipping your damn meals."

#cod ghosts #call of duty ghosts #oneshot #amateur writing #oc #first post #fanfic #idk how to tag this #literally just doing this for fun #enjoy i guess?#please give feedback i want to make things #<3

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poetic-beats · 2 months

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Sometimes when I come back to this blog it just makes me cringe. Mostly because whenever I’m manic I start a ton of new projects whether its crappy art, jumping around to different sites for my poetry that I eventually ditch, different business ideas that I start but never finish, bad poetry I have written things I like but there’s also just bad poetry that served a purpose for me to vent but objectively is bad. It’s also a very open book of the events and stages I’ve gone through and some of you have followed me from the beginning and I just cringe at the thought of what it must look like seeing my erratic postings. And it’s a monument to all of my sadness and trauma and struggles and I don’t find that a bad thing though I guess because writing was helpful and I’m not ashamed of what I’ve struggled with but damn this blog was almost as much of a mess as my mind. Life has changed so much in the 7 years since I started this blog, I’m 30 now which is scary to be so old ( I know 30 isn’t actually old old but in context of where I am in my life) and yet feel like I’m so behind in adulting. It’s like when I hit 30 in my mind it changed you know until I hit that number I was still in my 20’s even if it was 29 it felt like okay I’m not an ‘adult’ adult yet so it’s fine my shits not together but its like okay I’ve hit 30 now I should’ve started checking some boxes off the list and whilst some things have improved I still have a long way to go. I’m in therapy now I managed to start early last year privately ofc because NHS sucks ass. Luckily she’s good about pricing clearly not in it for the money; was my old MH teams lead therapist before she quit didn’t know she’d gone private, found her by dumb luck. She’s really good & it’s already helped me so much. I managed to acquire a few new diagnoses at the end of last year not a surprise though nothing new or unexpected as such but sometimes does feel like it’s a never ending list. Oh I got a second cat!!! His names Shrimp and he’s adorable. Bagel loves him I’ll have to post a picture of them both at some point and after having not written/barely written anything for awhile I recently started writing poetry again. Not sure why I slowed down/stopped I guess things got really busy & I managed/coped in different ways I also just kinda lost it like I had a mental block when I did try writing. Anyways so I wrote some new stuff recently sadly it’s not exactly happy it’s more of a throwback to when I first started this blog, writing as a way to cope in the moment when emotions were too much, to sort of purge it from my mind. I’ve had some difficult things to deal with and it’s been a lot so being able to write again is bittersweet. I also can’t vouch for its quality but hey it helped me cope so does it really matter, guess not. Anyways idk that’s enough rambling from me now don’t know why I wrote this out on here I mean my blogs mostly dead apart from these random check ins I do where I give these life update posts which I”m not sure anyone even cares to read because this blog is so inactive now but here I am doing it anyways.

#erin talks #prsnl #long post #not poetry #life update

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notafraidofredyellowandblue · 9 months

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I don't know why everyone's pretending and saying Till's scars are because of stage props. Some may be, especially back in the day, but definitely not now. We all know from what those scars are. And lately, for clearly obvious reasons, they've gotten much worse. It's truly horrible to look at and not be cause it's grotesque, but just how low was he feeling to have done that.

And tonight, with his arm profusely bleeding because one of the wounds opened...horrific!

It's really painful to see a man his age still going through it. In various ways, you can tame whatever is going on in ones head, but unfortunately, Till's never been successful.

(warning: skip this post and definitely the links if you are triggered by self harm)

It *is* horrific 🥺 very troubling to watch 🥺

Unfortunately Till gets hurt and hurts himself a lot, has for years and it is still the case. And equally unfortunate is that it's not just simply for one reason either, because if that were the case i would hope that someone would step in and just remedy that one cause.

We know that he did occassionally get hurt by problems with equipment, the Engel wings are said to have left their scars, and he has mentioned in interviews getting burned by pyro. If that were the *only* reason for his injuries, then Rammstein crew or management really would need to step up their game, and try to prevent that from happening.

We also know that some of the stage antics have left Till getting hurt as well, most noticeably Flake breaking a tl lamp on his back in their early shows as a regular act, they talked about it in Rammstein in Amerika (how US lamps are much tougher to break). We know Till in earlier shows made a habit of hitting his head against a microphone or a metal stand (vividly remember Schneider wincing at that) and laughing maniacly after it. This is imo part of the way Till likes Rammstein stage antics to be. Same with the videos, the band is always applauded for their integrity of doing everything 'real', but that also means selfflagellation in the Rosenrot video is part of it. This is Rammstein, they like to do things like this, even if it makes some fans cringe.

Then we have the offstage stories of Till doing a drunk bar game with Peter Tagtgren of who could hold their hand over a flame longer (no points in guessing who won, and as i remember it, had to have a skingraft afterwards). Or cutting himself to bleed over his poetry pages to make it less boring and his entourage helping to swap the pages (there's another video of this where we see the entourage actually laughing and enjoying themselves while doing so, but i can't find it right now, and to be honest...i didn't really look that hard...when i say i don't really like Till's entourage, this is one of the things i mean)

And then we also know Till has difficult times in his life of depression and extreme lows. These fuel his poetry in parts, he writes about his darkness, and imo that is a great outlet. But I could very well imagine that he hurts himself at those times as well, seeing how easily he hurts himself in other times. He has said before that he isn't one for therapy (i think said that he doesn't know anyone who got therapy and improved from it) but i really hope at some point he would find some way of dealing with what happens in healthier ways, without the need for self-harm. When a fan said something similar on one of Zoran Bihac's ig posts, Zoran replied something like "it's handled" with a picture of pills, which i understood in a 'Zoran and Till' kind of way (they both like to hurt Till in Lindemann videos imo) but it still made me feel uncomfortable..

The bleeding on stage in Paris was imo likely a combination of a recent arm wound (we saw it when he was photographed 'out and about') that had closed up, but that got torn open again when changing clothes or equipment, which i can imagine happens easily when your skin is damaged anyway.

And although i don't like to pull the 'age card', aging also has a detrimental effect on the skin, even a small bump can cause bleeding, let alone everything that Till subjects his body to..

Whatever the cause, the tour will be over soon, and he can be out of the limelight, doing stuff he likes. I hope if depression and dark times are the cause, that he is open to talking to friends or family about it Let's just hope that with age he will grow kinder with himself as well

Maybe he just needs to hear that he doesn't need to hurt himself for people to love him 🌺

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felizusnavidad · 2 months

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oooh the last two anon replies got me fired up so here's my manifesto i guess.

the universal hating on lin manuel miranda comes down to a few factors that most of the time have nothing to do with his actual mistakes:

their cringe history is reflected in him and they can't deal with it. let it be known that it is not lin who created miku binder jefferson. that was entirely a monster of our making. and somehow, his enthusiasm and willingness to interact with fan content (i remember everyone loving him for it) is worthy of punishment in relation.

he's an easy scapegoat to dump criticism on because people already feel so comfortable speaking on him. like you said, it's crazy that people will paint out lin manuel miranda, the guy who changed broadway and did so much for POC roles, to be the big baddie. he's made mistakes, and there's a lot we can discuss about hamilton's legacy, etc., but damn. where's this energy for everyone else? is it a case of "he actually tried, therefore we have material to latch onto and tear down?"

a lot of what he does is successful and in the public eye! it's crazy but i see people going "why is lin manuel miranda in everything" about projects from the 2000s, like yeahh he didn't just make hamilton and then disappear for your own convenience. if anything it's a statement about how a lot of his work, like it or not, is remembered over time. the reaction to him being in percy jackson was crazy to me because i KNOW for a fact that you did not see his dark materials or tick tick boom; at most you know him from moana and hamilton. and then complaining that he "threatened disney to be in everything they do" smh.

he's not your typical white boy of the month. this might be a loaded statement but sue me, i think it's true. POC celebrities have a limited amount of time in the sun compared to white celebrities. a white actor having multiple roles in a year is okay, and it means they're a hard worker. but when it's a POC actor, their presence is conspicuous. their presence becomes bothersome. public goodwill dries up so much faster. even pedro pascal, i feel, has been talked about with eye-rolls recently. i read a very interesting paper about this.

it's fun! the internet's chosen him as their punching bag, and there are no consequences to online hating if everyone else agrees. i bet a lot of people think they're just joking.

and all of this makes it such that if they do find out about some of his actual mistakes, it's a relief. i legitimately saw a tiktok comment section filled with bashing, and someone said "this is so hilarious but kinda mean, the guy didn't do anything" and someone said with "actually he did this this and this" and they replied "oh thank god, i don't feel bad now!" so it's not "oh let's see if this person improved" it's "phew! i have a legitimate reason to continue what i've been doing all along!"

it's crazy because i'm not even a lmm fan necessarily. i've just been in the musical community for years and noticed all of this happening surrounding his very popular work. you all will rue the day! 10 yrs later or so people are going to start making those "he deserved better" posts but i will not forgive or forget.

i don't know if you want me to respond to every single thing you wrote here, but i appreciate the message, especially when it comes from someone who's not really a fan - it only shows me that it's possible not to be in the fandom & still be respectful.

don't even get me started on miku binder jefferson, it's probably the most ridiculous thing i've ever seen in my life. also, one thing i need to point out is that NOT EVERYONE in this fandom is like that, & i think i'm a perfect example of a person who just enjoys lin's art & likes talking about it & analizing things, but not enjoying all those weird cringe things that were created by the fandom (like the one you mentioned), so like... maybe a certain part of the fandom was the problem, not the creator of the thing? i have nothing against fanfiction in general, nothing against fanarts but like... some people are ruining the thing cause it's just too much. like the famous lmm cannibal mermaid fanfiction, come on guys, be serious, what the actual fuck???

i also agree with the percy jackson thing, i remember seeing all the hate even before the episode with him dropped & honestly i couldn't stand it, the pjo fandom ruined all the fun for me & i literally had to block pjo tag lol. then the episode was out & everyone was suddenly like OH, HE WAS ACTUALLY GOOD, well guess what bitch, i've been saying this all the time, he is actually a good actor & you are just a miserable hater. this fandom is toxic as fuck. also, you think he's everywhere? i do know a lot of other celebrities who actually ARE everywhere these days & somehow no one is sick of them??? so maybe people really are just racists. also, this is literally his job lol what do you expect him to do, disappear forever?

i will not forgive or forget either. like i said before, i'm aware that he made some mistakes, it's not like he didn't apologize for some of them, also he's not perfect, but no one is. all i'm trying to say is that there are more problematic people but somehow everyone feels the need to hate on him. you picked the wrong guy, just let him be.

#i will always defend him no matter what #i literally HAD a friend who called him a disgusting piece of shit because of all the bad things he did & said he should die #& this person is a swiftie who can see no bad things in taylor's behaviour looool #i had to block the bitch #anyway #thanks for the message once again #have a nice day anon #lin manuel miranda #lmm #anon #i saved every letter you wrote me*

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sassy-ahsoka-tano · 2 years

Text

Puppy Love - Uncle Eldis Pt. II

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Requested: yes - i see y'all in the comments :)

Prompt: Ever since you and Elvis watched your friend's kids, you've been trying to get pregnant. It's not working out and you're feeling pretty down but Elvis has a surprise for you. [ Fem!Reader ]

TW: None!

Rating: Pg, v soft || Word Count: 2042

A/N: not me accidentally posting this before i edited it 💀 im driving to cincinnati right now for a baseball game and just edited this in the car on 4 hours of sleep. send help y'all

Read part one here!

🦋 mila

─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────

You lean against the car window, letting your eyes trail along the passing landscape. The green and yellow waves of grass are blotted with black and brown cows, grazing lazily in the hot Tennessee summer heat. You smile sadly as you pass a small farm and see a young family in front, a beautiful woman chasing around a small child. It's a lovely picture and one that you desperately crave for yourself.

Ever since you'd babysat for your friend's kids, you and Elvis have been trying to conceive. You've both been trying so, so hard. The sex is always enjoyable, of course, but it's not achieving the result you want: a baby. Eleven months of making love and taking pregnancy tests only for them to come out negative is starting to take its toll on you. You know that it can take time, but you're slowly losing faith. You just want so badly to be a mother.

"Ya aright, hunny?"

You feel Elvis' warm hand on your thigh and glance over your shoulder at him, offering a small but weak smile.

“Yeah, baby. Just…thinking is all,” you respond, not feeling up to hashing over your feelings again.

“Bout the baby?” Elvis asks and you cringe. You bite your lip to keep your eyes from watering and nod.

“It seems like I’m always thinking about that nowadays."

"It's gonna happen for us, baby. I know it will. Maybe we could...see a doctor or somethin. Maybe there's somethin we can do," he suggests.

Although you appreciate his effort, that's exactly what you're afraid of. You're terrified of the idea that something could be wrong with you, that you would need surgery or some kind of operation to fix you. You're terrified of discovering that you could never have children.

"Maybe," you reply quietly, shifting your eyes back to the window to watch as trees and barns flash alongside the car. "I'm just getting so impatient, you know? I just...I want that baby right now. And I know we're ready for it so why isn't it happening."

Elvis says nothing but reaches over to squeeze your hand. You sigh in response, closing your eyes to try and get some semblance of inner peace as your husband drives along the bumpy and winding country roads.

All of a sudden, you feel the car jerk to the left and start to roll down a long country dirt road. You snap to attention, sitting up and turning to face Elvis.

"Elvis, what's going in? This isn't the way home."

"I know, but don't you worry ya pretty lil head bout it. I'm takin you on an adventure."

A soft smile breaks across your face and you settle back into your seat. Your eyes return to the window to watch for any familiar signs. You're grateful, actually, to have something to think about other than your emotions. If there is one thing Elvis is skilled at other than singing, it's surprises. They almost always improve your mood and they're usually a lot of fun. You're completely alert now with the challenge of trying to guess what he's cooked up this time.

The sun is at its most golden angle, casting a gorgeous orange glow across the fields and farmlands that you whizz by in Elvis' flashy purple Cadillac. You must look lost with an outrageous and expensive car like that zooming through these desolate areas.

Your eyebrow quirks in curiosity as Elvis pulls up to what looks like a nice little country home. There are animals everywhere, every kind of animal you might associate with a farm. There's a big field to the left with a few brown horses swishing their tails in the air, white and black speckled cows grazing, and some chickens gathered around a bright red coup. You even catch a dog or two sprinting around the front yard, a couple of small kids chasing them around. An elderly couple are sitting on a large wraparound white porch in a couple of wooden rocking chairs. You smile at the couple as Elvis pulls into a makeshift parking spot on the gravel drive and turns the car off.

"Aright this is it," is all Elvis says before hopping out of the car and rushing around to your side.

You pop open your door and he takes it from your grasp. You climb out of the car with a confused expression resting on your face. Maybe you're here to visit some of the animals? Buy some country products like jams or eggs or veggies or something?

"What are we doing here, Elvis?" you ask. He neglects to respond and, instead, takes your hand and leads up toward the porch where the older couple are rocking slowly.

"Hi there," Elvis shouts, waving a hand at the couple. They both smile in return, the woman standing up to come and assist you.

"Welcome to Beverly Farms," she says in a voice that's deep and strong despite her old age. "What can I help y'all with today?"

You glance over at Elvis and squeeze his hand to tell him that you would like to know the answer to that question as well.

"We'd like to look at ya pups, please?" Elvis responds, gazing over at you with a toothy grin.

A big smile starts to spread across your face as you stare up into his beautiful bright blue eyes, which are extra sparkly in the gorgeous lighting. In that simple moment, you remember why you're so incredibly in love with this man.

"Alrighty, jus follow me back this way," the woman, perhaps Beverly herself, gestures toward the back of the house and begins to walk down a skinny dirty path.

As you walk around the home, you latch your hand onto Elvis' arm and pull him close to you. He leans over to press a soft kiss to your head, and you pull his fingers to your lips.

"We got a few different breeds right now, mostly retrievers and labs but a few mutts we ain't sure bout. We're runnin at about $100 per dog, without vaccinations or fixin or nothin like that. We got em separated, boys over here and girls over there."

She gestures to two pens, one pink and one blue.

"Feel free to get in there and play with em. Jus don't take any puppies our cause we don't want em escapin," she explains with a smile. "Let me know if there's anythin I can help y'all fine folks with or if ya decide on a pup you wanna take home with ya."

You smile, nod, and thank her. She turns to trudge back to the porch, leaving you and Elvis alone with the puppies.

You shoot Elvis a hug grin before rushing over to the pink pen holding the female puppies. There are a few sleeping in the shade, nestled into the grass and mud inside the pen. A few others are excitedly jumping at the wire, trying to get your attention with their tails wagging furiously. You smile and crouch down to stick your fingers through the wire and boop their tiny black snoots. Their soft golden and brown fur curls around their eyes and ears. Their puppy breath burns your nostrils, but you wouldn't change anything about them.

Elvis crouches down next to you, placing one hand on your back and the other over the top of the pen to pet some of the puppies.

"Decided on a girl, didja?" he asks and you nod.

"Girls are easier to take care of. And they're cuter," you joke before standing up and swinging your legs over the side of the pen.

As soon as you're standing inside of it, a swarm of puppies attack your legs, trying to climb up your jeans. You giggle as you reach down to pet them all. Elvis follows your lead and immediately picks up a tiny brown puppy. He lifts her up toward you, his hand circling around to support her tummy. The puppy's legs flail through the air as she tries to wiggle around to lick Elvis' face. He chuckles and sticks his lips out for a kiss. The dog’s hot pink tongue darts out, leaving nasty saliva streams everywhere. You laugh and shake your head.

“She’s very cute but a little too excited, I think. What about this one?” you suggest, quickly bending over to lift up a little copper-colored pup with the same fur.

You rest your face against her body, hearing her poor little heartbeat racing a million miles a minute. She barely even reacts to you snatching her up to hold her in your arms.

“Nah, she’s too calm. We need an in-between dog.”

"Thank you Goldilocks," you laugh.

You feel a little overwhelmed as you try and parse through all of the fur and eyes and noses that are staring up at you. Just as you're about to reach down to pick up another puppy, you hear Elvis yelp. You whirl your head around to see that he's fallen on the ground into the mud.

He's leaning back on his elbows, getting attacked by a horde of puppies. They're running on top of his chest, under his legs, into his armpits. He's desperately trying to fight them off but isn't very successful since he's laughing so hard. You giggle at the adorable sight of your handsome husband wrestling a bunch of puppies. You briefly allow yourself to imagine that they're not puppies but children. When you sense a familiar sadness in your chest, you banish the thought. One puppy, in particular, climbs onto Elvis' chest and just lays down, her little tail swishing frantically back and forth.

“Oh! That is sooo cute,” you shout, gesturing at the puppy. “That’s the one.”

You run over to Elvis, lifting the puppy from his chest and holding her under your armpit as you use your other hand to help Elvis up. He lets a few final laughs escape his lips as he stands. He leans down to examine the puppy, holding her tiny paws in his fingers and pressing his nose to hers. She licks his skin and barks. Elvis chuckles again.

"Yeah, she's the one," Elvis agrees as he reaches to brush some mud from her little wet black nose. Her tongue immediately darts out to follow his fingers. "What should we name her?"

"How about Goldie? It matches her fur and she is our little Goldilocks puppy," you suggest and your husband's eyes light up.

He reaches out to brush his fingers against your cheek, gazing into your eyes with an overwhelming sense of compassion and love. You can't help but smile and lean into his touch.

"Goldie it is. Let's go make it official so we can take her to her brand new home."

You follow him back around to the front of the house, nuzzling your face into Goldie's soft fur. You get all of the official documents signed and even purchase a small pink collar and a few toys that the Beverlys are selling. You clutch tightly onto the newest addition to the Presley family and climb into the car. You let Goldie rest on your lap and she curls up into a ball, falling asleep almost immediately. You stare down at her, already totally and completely in love, as Elvis starts the car and pulls out of the gravel drive. Your fingers gently stroke the fur on her head.

"I know this ain't exactly what ya asked for," Elvis says with a little shrug. "It ain't a baby, I mean. But while we're tryna work through whatever's wrong, I figured maybe this'd be a close second?"

You smile sweetly at him, reaching to grasp his fingers.

“She's perfect, Elvis. Thank you baby.”

He glances over at you with a handsome smile, squeezing your fingers before refocusing on the road. A few moments of silence pass before you speak up.

“I do still want a baby, though.”

“I want that too, darlin,” he agreed. “Oh no, I guess we’ll just hafta try again when we get home.”

He looks over at you and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. You laugh quietly, being careful not to wake the sleeping puppy in your lap.

─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────

Reblogs, likes, comments + feedback are extremely appreciated! Please help support your content creators!

**If you notice any triggers or grammatical errors that I missed, please let me know! :)

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#elvis #elvis 2022 #austin butlere #milasthings #milasfics #milaselviscontent #milaselvisfics #elvis imagine #elvis fic

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soldrawss · 1 year

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hi sol!! i love your art so much <3 do you have any tips for developing a style? i’ve been struggling with mine and i really admire yours!

ps i love how positive you always are you’re an absolute gem <3

OH GOSH you would not BELIEVE how often I get this question and I never have any idea how to answer it!

I've known since I was a kid that I want a soft, eye-pleasing art style. The kind that if you put it in your mouth, it would feel chewy and warm. Does that make sense? I also wanted a more American art style (since anime was so cringe when I was just starting to draw, I tried to stay away from the very cliche anime eyes and body proportions, and that sort of has always stuff with me)

I guess my biggest piece of advice is to consume a LOT of different media and take what you like best out of all of them and start there! I remember tracing a lot of my favorite artist's art to get into the habit of how they draw certain things until I could do it on my own! (Tracing is absolutely fine when you are starting out, but only as a learning tool. Do not post said tracings on any social media platform and try to pass it off as your own)

And also make sure to draw consistently and draw, a lot of the time, for yourself. You don't have to do it everyday, but progress is slow, and sometimes you don't always notice improvement until months or even years later, so make sure to stick with it! I've been drawing for almost 17 years, and it's only been within the past year or so that I am FINALLY confident in my art enough to be proud of it and to like how I draw. Make sure you are patient with yourself, it will come to you eventually. <3

#art advice #art help #hope that helps!#sorry if i didn't give any actually helpful tips!#most of the time i just wing it myself so #just keep going at it #you'll get there eventually

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nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos · 7 months

Text

So imposter syndrome is a thing and I need to give myself a pep talk. Like. Now.

And if anyone else is dealing with it needs one, then I'm sharing it. This is pretty personal, but I don't like the thought of anyone dealing with this because I know how utterly miserable it is, and absolutely no one deserves it.

So I just want to take a minute (or an hour, or several) to talk about this because I realized during the past decade (or longer), when I wasn't letting anyone read any of my writing whatsoever, that imposter syndrome is a lying fucking thundercunt, and that it hurts so many creators, and that it shouldn't be allowed to exist at all.

I got burned out constantly when I was publishing on fanfiction.net back in the day, and another site I can't remember the name of for original work that doesn't exist anymore.

Would get stuck in a rut on everything I wrote and never finish anything.

Good or bad feedback, didn't matter. It always devolved into, "This is shit, and I am shit, and I shouldn't be shoveling this shit to other people," and I'd try to just ignore that and write and...nothing would come out. Or what did come out, I felt like it wasn't ever good enough.

I'd read over what I had already written and just cringe. Cancel a project entirely and trash it because thinking about it made me want to vomit.

The same way you might cringe hearing your own voice on a recording, or see an unflattering photograph of yourself and second guess everything about what you see in the mirror.

This always led slap into a writer's block, which for me also tends to lead toward depression and general self-loathing because I don't feel like me when I'm not writing.

Same thing has happened on and off with most of my hobbies through the years. I started getting deeply into culinary arts when I was sixteen, wanted to learn more and try new recipes out daily, and messing something up would just destroy me. I started playing guitar at thirteen, played daily through most of high school, and went through a few stints that lasted for literal years where just looking at a guitar made me physically sick because I felt like I had hit a wall that I couldn't get past.

I guess because writing has been with me for the longest, it was what helped me the most. I was writing silly little "horror" short stories and Pokémon fanfiction as early as six years old. Writing is ingrained into me to the point that I feel like a different person entirely when I'm not doing it. I feel like I don't know myself.

And that feeling of being inadequate when I was actively writing, I realized, didn't actually start until I began letting other people read what I was writing regularly. Largely when I started posting it online. That was when it went from being my joy to being my dread.

Dread that if I didn't finish a chapter or a story quickly enough, people would stop reading.

Fear of making even one single typo that someone might point out.

Fear of being insulted or berated.

Of not being good enough.

Of failing.

I realized during my extensive haitus from writing that I never had that fear when I was a child. When I was writing for me. Writing what I wanted to. What I enjoyed, what made me happy. That at some point, writing had changed from a form of self-love into people-pleasing.

I spent a few years not writing at all, and gradually started again. A short story here or there when the mood struck instead of trying to force it out. That made the mood strike more and more often.

I eventually bit the bullet and read over some of my old work that I would cringe over, and it made me smile instead. Still made me cringe a little, but instead of that resulting in a need to pull into a shell and stop entirely, it turned into a desire to improve.

It clicked that it was because the only audience I had was myself, and I could do whatever the hell I wanted and just have a good time with it. No worries, no deadlines, no one to impress, just creating what I wanted to and enjoying it.

It's not fool-proof, but when the feeling starts to flare up, the following is a rough inner monologue of how I try to address it.

"Look self, who cares if you're a talentless hack or not? If you like doing the thing, do the thing. If it only brings you joy when other people care you're doing the thing, or you only do the thing when you're hoping it could even potentially impress other people? Then you're not enjoying the thing, you're enjoying the attention, or even just the idea of attention. Take the attention out of the entire equation, and just do the goddamned thing."

Art is passion in physical form. Passion stems from happiness. That happiness stems from you. From you, looking at what you've created, before anyone else has laid eyes on it, and smiling. That moment when you finish your creation, the feeling of fulfillment in knowing that you created something that wouldn't otherwise exist if you hadn't taken the time and energy to do so. That one moment before any potential second guessing or anxiety can rear its head in. That moment, that comes from you and only you, free of any influence from the outside world, is happiness.

Basically, the old saying, "dance like no one's watching?" It applies to everything. EVERYTHING that imposter syndrome could butt its disgusting lying filthy head in on. Sing, play [instrument of choice] like no one's listening. Paint and draw and sculpt and mold and create like no one else but you is ever going to see the finished product. Write like no one else is reading. Enjoy it for what it gives you first and foremost. Extend that moment of happiness and enjoy it, because you did something no one but you could have done, you created something that no one but you could have created.

After that, if other people enjoy it, great! It's always nice to share happiness!

If they don't like it, or if they pressure you to do better or work faster or harder than you're capable of doing in your present state?

If they take your peace and mold it into pain?

Then they can take a flying fuck at a rolling donut.

It's your passion. It's your love. Not theirs.

If they don't like it, they don't have to look.

If you were kind enough to share your happiness with them, and they're miserable enough to stomp on it in any way, shape, or form, then that's their problem, not yours.

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television-overload · 6 months

Text

20 fanfic questions

Thanks for tagging me @randomfoggytiger !

How many works do you have on AO3?

30, I'm still working on putting more that I wrote either on Tumblr or Fanfiction.net back in the day on my AO3 (if they don't induce too much cringe. Been doing this almost a decade now).

2. What's your total AO3 words count?

137,433 and counting

3. What fandoms do you write for?

NCIS, X-Files, Star Wars, and on rare occasions, Harry Potter

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Mother (Star Wars Obi-Wan x Satine), Life Force (more Star Wars), Back to You (old NCIS fic), Like Life Itself (you guessed it, more Star Wars), and sh-boom (X-Files :D)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Sometimes, if I get a particularly nice comment that makes me all excited. But I recently read a post where someone was saying you shouldn't reply to comments on your own fic on AO3 because it artificially inflates the number of comments on your story, and I was like :'(

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooh, I've been specializing in angst since I got back into fic writing. Let me think... The Star Wars prequels are inherently angsty, so-- hope like the sun (Star Wars) this could be such a dream (Star Wars) what was once a garden (Star Wars)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Mother (Star Wars), because even though it's angsty, it's a happy ending AU. I'm realizing a lot of my fics that I'm actually proud of have melancholy endings lol sh-boom (X-Files) is a good one too.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I mean, maybe I used to? When I wrote as a teen? Not so much "hate" as "this doesn't make sense," and half the time, the commenter was getting some fact about the fandom wrong anyway haha

9. Do you write smut. If so what kind?

Nope, never will

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Never a crossover, although I have thought about an X-Files/NCIS crossover. Pretty sure I'd be the only one interested in it though. I am currently writing a Star Wars fanfic that is basically a retelling of The Sound of Music, which is probably as close to a crossover as I'll get.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. But I did have someone ask to print my fic out once to keep forever and that made me so happy :')

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

That would be cool, but no.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I can't. I'm so loyal to Tony and Ziva from NCIS, and they really are fantastic. But even I have to admit that Mulder and Scully are the blueprint. Nobody did co-dependent coworkers turned lovers like them. Both of them have WILD stories about how they ended up with a child though, and I love them for that.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Oof. The forbidden topic. I was writing a fic called "In the Eyes of Tali" on Fanfiction.net once upon a time before they brought back Ziva on the show, and a lot of people seemed to really enjoy it. It was basically the episode Family First from Tali's perspective, which I think is really unique, and then went on toward an eventual reunion with Ziva. I think I could theoretically finish it one day, but there's so much I'm writing now that I doubt it. Maybe I need the proper incentive.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I actually don't know. I've been told I capture characters' voices well before, that's really nice to hear. I hope I'm improving in the description department.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably maintaining good pacing, getting from point A to point B without rushing it, and actually making myself finish what I started. I'm also a little wimp when it comes to not getting comments or bookmarks on a fic, even if it's a small fandom and it makes sense that the engagement isn't as high as I hoped.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Occupational hazard in the Star Wars and NCIS fandoms. Star Wars you're dealing with made up languages (most often for me, Mando'a) and NCIS is usually Hebrew for Ziva. Best you can do is do the research, try to fact check Google, and provide translations if needed for context in the story.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Technically, Harry Potter. When I was 13 I started a story that I had grand plans for, posted 2 chapters on ffn.net, and then never touched it again lol. But the ones I actually stuck with were (now really cringe) NCIS fics, and they got a decent amount of attention on that site (and even among some old ladies on Twitter that would share links sometimes, how cute is that?)

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

So far, either Mother (Star Wars) or Beautiful (X-Files), but recently I've been putting out a lot that I'm finally proud of! I'm hoping they're actually good this time, and not the "good" that I thought I was writing in 2015. I've always hoped I'd build up a base of readers that enjoy my stuff and subscribe for when I post new fics, but I don't think I'm there yet. Easier said than done, especially on Tumblr.

Tagging: @indestinatus @wanna-be-bold @ whoever else wants to do this! I'm out of touch with who writes stuff on here, and also relatively oblivious to people's blog names if I read them on AO3 haha

#tag game #thanks for the tag!#fic writing #my fanfiction #im procrastinating on writing by doing this #no shame #no sleep

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