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#have thought about little else for the past week
sysmedsaresexist · 2 days
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We're curious, since you apparently were anti-endo in the past Was there any specific event or conversation or experience that got you to start contemplating the idea you might have been wrong? I know you've mentioned talking to a buncha big name docs and going "okay I think I'm on the wrong side of this debate" but what got you to the point of even bringing it up with them in a genuinely open minded way? We think its an interesting topic for people who've escaped any kind of shithead mindset, not just anti-endo stuff, and so we're oft curious what pulls people out of those pits
This has been a loooonnggggg time coming.
I wish there was just one event that did it, if it was that simple I'd be putting everyone I come into contact with into that situation.
I spoke with Kymbra Clayton in early 2021 about her paper, Critiquing the Requirement of Oneness. It was on a bunch of, "proof endos exist," lists, and it didn't sit right with me. I was surprised to find that she wasn’t... quite anti endo, but she was upset that her work was being used to support them. Her paper was specifically about the shift in clinical circles from final fusion to functional multiplicity as a possible treatment goal. It sort of sent me deeper on the anti side, but it made me realize that, holy crap, I can talk to these people???
So I emailed Colin Ross later that year, desperate to prove someone else wrong, and despite numerous back and forth emails, he was completely pro endo. I never spoke about that conversation until I made my post about it... jeez, what, two weeks ago? What even is time.
But from there, I worked through other doctors, pro and anti, from both my personal, professional circles, and anyone else who would respond to inquiries about their work on whatever social media they were active on. Mostly, as therapists, they stressed the importance of understanding and kindness, regardless of personal beliefs.
I ended up helping a lot of endogenic systems learn about DID, and I realized that, wow, shocking, being nice facilitates conversation. As I got nicer, people were more willing to talk to me about their experiences. I saw how many people were really struggling and I realized that I wanted to help them more than I wanted to be right.
I got REALLY goddamn tired of hearing, "we don't have DID," and I realized I had to concede on that point. There was ZERO conversation to be had if I couldn't get my head around that. But if not DID, then what?
The more I heard, the more I shaped my own thoughts and understanding, the more I broadened my academic searches (wow, there's more terms to Google than just "DID trauma"), and the research was just overwhelming.
I wanted so badly to see the Stanford Tulpa studies fail that I actually started to enjoy the other work of the doctors involved (specifically Tanya Luhrmann, Michael Lifshitz is a little out there for me, but he sure is passionate). The more I read, the more I understood what they were hoping to accomplish and prove, and the more I saw ways that this kind of research can help people.
I don't agree with everything, but I'm still excited to see where it goes, and I realized it's okay to have mixed feelings and opinions, as long as I could be respectful about it.
I've been sneaking out endo safe content for about a year now, adding it on as the last tags. I've discussed at length about my changing beliefs. I'm shocked that no one noticed??
But I didn't actually change my stance publicly until the antis turned on me.
With this new round of antis from TikTok, they were posting stuff about DID that wasn't correct. At all. Some of it was disgustingly wrong. I tried to correct them, gave them pointers and resources to use, explained things they weren't understanding. I gave an amazing play by play of how @sophieinwonderland was going to tear their post apart, and managed to get it pretty damn close to what actually happened! That was fun.
And in return, they called me an endo and started an actual smear campaign against me.
(Hi, friendos, another reminder to get off my blogs and block me, please)
It was the straw that broke the back. I had held on the anti label specifically to be able to work within the anti community, but I was clearly not anti, these were clearly not my people, and they weren't interested in learning. Their actions and behaviour were beyond low. I wanted nothing to do with them.
But, I mean, I guess some people noticed my slow shift, because when I did reach out into the endo community just before I made my first Colin Ross post, they were quick to pull me in without question.
The acceptance and kindness that has been shown to me is... breathtaking. I can't think of a better word. The conversations that I've been having with people have been more interesting and beneficial than ever before.
Syscourse needs to involve actual conversation, and I've finally found that on the pro side.
TL;dr I wanted to prove endos wrong SO badly that I accidentally proved them right
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look-at-the-soul · 3 days
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A night at Delux
Modern Tommy Shelby
Master list
Author’s notes: This story is for you, in no particular order @zablife @runnning-outof-time @red-riding-wood @teenwolf-theoriginals @justrainandcoffee @brummiereader I’ve had the main idea in my mind for weeks after driving past a luxury restaurant daily, I think it’d still haunt me if I didn’t write this one down lol… anyways I decided to a few names of lovely mutuals. This is a small nod to you all for the amazing work you do and in an attempt to cheer you up or anyone who might need it at the moment. If for whatever reason you feel down, without inspiration, worried, or anything else, know that it will pass. This particular moment that feels like too much won’t last forever ✨I just hope/wish you get what you are looking for. And to anyone else going through anything hard right now, this is for you too!
Ps. Don’t panic the fandom isn’t falling down, I just felt the need to dedicate this story to lovely mutuals to spoil and cheer them up a bit 🤗
Last but not least, extra 🌟 to @blondie-22 for creating this gorgeous moodboard!! 💖
Word count: 3,245
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Friday night had been quiet compared to today, it seems like everyone decided to go out on Saturday and go to that club, as if there wasn’t enough options in the city.
Y/N swallowed hard feeling worried, this was her second weekend working at the club and she wanted to give a good first impression and save as much money as possible.
Her other job as secretary paid for the rent and services, but she needed to have this second one on the weekends to support her grandmother and her medicines.
As the hostess, she was requested to wear a total black outfit, so she thought her little black dress was the right choice, it was fitting for her shape, it wasn’t too revealing or short and one of the girls, Red had suggested spraying some lidocaine on her feet to be able to stand all night in those heels. She quickly adapted well to the group of girls that worked there, they were all so nice to her and welcoming.
“Ready? I’ve an amazing list prepared.” Lee, one of the girls walked past her, ready to take her place at the DJ booth.
“Last week was hectic, I’ve a feeling this will be crazier.” Y/N expressed fiddling with the guest list for the night.
“Here, drink this.” Brummie, another of the girls came closer placing a glass next to Y/N. After a week, Y/N learned the reason for that nickname was her strong Brummie accent even after all the years she left the place.
“Go easy on the drinks, she makes them strong.” K chuckled. She was the first one to welcome Y/N into their little girls-gang as they called themselves. The only ladies working in a place owned by men.
“Doors opening in ten.” The manager advised, taking one more look at the place, waiters were ready. “Make tonight a good night everybody.”
Lee started playing the music then, experimenting with some new beats, she mixed a couple of the new hits. Lights down, Y/N took a deep breath, approaching the door.
“They better leave good tips tonight.” Red raised her eyebrows. She was in charge of promos, she was great at convincing people to order another round of shots, or if it was ladies night and they got 2x1 on special drinks.
“We’re in your hands Red.”
“I’ll do my best ladies.” She replied through the device they shared to communicate.
“Alright, it’s about time.” Y/N rolled her neck. “Lee, we’ve a party of six tonight, celebrating a bachelorette, could you include some anthems?”
“Absolutely darl.” Lee then turned up the volume of the music.
“If someone sees that baker, let me know?” Rose appeared then at the bar, she had been hiding in the office, she was in charge of detecting any potential trouble from the monitors.
“Sweetheart, everyone knows he’s not a baker.” Lee informed her, talking about Alfie.
“I haven’t seen him, so I wouldn’t know.” Y/N called from her place.
“Oh he’s just the most handsome man ever.” Rose swooned.
Y/N chuckled, the club would be the last place where she’d find love, she just knew that. Walking towards the door, the guard opened it for her.
She started searching for the name she was given in the guest list. A group of girls wearing exaggerated make up and deep cleavage plus the shortest skirts or dresses where the firsts ones to make it in. She was totally against it, but it was an unwritten rule to let people in, the more skin, the better.
But she wasn’t there to judge anyone, let the girls dress as they preferred, in the end she wasn’t the one getting wasted and dragged in the end of the night to throw up outside. She was there just for the money. Another table was filled by three men, they were older and dressed in button shirts with ripped jeans, as if it was an uniform for them.
Y/N thought how it was funny to try to guess their backgrounds, where they came from and with whom they might leave the club. She was just trying to make the time pass faster.
In no time, the club was packed, but outside there was still a bunch of people trying to make it.
People tried to give Y/N money to get in, some were even rude to her but the guards took charge into the matter and invited them to leave.
“I made a reservation, could you check again?” The young guy requested politely.
Y/N started reading the names again, but by the corner of her eye, she caught someone skipping the line. “Ah, excuse me? Sir?”
The man who was already by the door, turned around slowly, opening the zipper of his jacket. His death stare made Y/N feel a shiver running down her back.
“There’s a line you’ve to make and wait.” Three more men arrived and stared at her with amused expressions. “Name?”
The man blinked and rolled his tongue over his lower lip. “Shelby. But you won’t find my name there, love.” Y/N saw him stopping the three other men with his hand.
“Then you’ll have to wait in the queue.”
For an instant, his expression was so transparent and Y/N knew he was offended.
“I’m sorry, but I’m just following orders.” She apologized and shuddered under his intense blue irises.
“Oi!” One of them, the one with a mustache tried to step closer.
“Arthur, leave it, we’re going to follow this lovely lady’s order and wait.” He then turned to face her again. “Accept a sincere apology for trying to get in.” He then winked.
The well dressed men followed his instructions and stepped back. Then she focused on the next people on the guest list, guiding them inside.
Barely a minute went by when Lucas, the manager grabbed her by the arm, dragging her inside in a blunt movement that made her go alert.
“What’s wrong with you?!” Lucas snapped, spit flying from his mouth. “You left the Shelby brothers outside! The fucking owners of this place.”
Just as Lucas was explaining Y/N her mistake , Tommy walked behind her, with his brothers following his steps.
“That was a first Tommy.” John grinned. “The first woman who doesn’t let you walk in as the owner of the place, and you did nothing.”
John was definitely having fun at Tommy’s expense. Arthur couldn’t help the smirk on his lips, but he tried to hide it behind his hand.
“Yeah, yeah she was only doing her job.” Tommy tried to excuse the hostess.
There was something that took him by surprise and startled him.
“And you walked back to the queue like a dog with the tail between the legs.” John went off again.
Tommy dragged his eyes across the club, he needed to know more about her. So he walked towards the bar.
“The usual Mr. Shelby?” Brummie asked her boss from behind the bar, he always waited to be served at his table.
Slowly, he posed his eyes on her, considering his options. “Please.” He replied then, clearing his throat.
“Here you go, I’ll take the other drinks up in a second.”
“Thank you.” With a nod, he turned his back at her and slowly strolled across the club. Although he had security, he always checked his surroundings.
After a while, he found the manager. “Lucas, come here.” Patting him on the back, Tommy asked him about the hostess, she was just passing by in that very moment, but Tommy noticed the quick glance she threw at him.
“Again, I’m sorry it happened Mr. Shelby, she’s new but it won’t repeat.”
“No problem.” He added calmly. “What do you know about her?”
Lucas shook his head, he didn’t care about the staff personal life. “Not much, but I’ll investigate her.”
In that moment, Tommy’s eyes found her, arms linked with the girl in charge of the checking the credit cards records.
“Damn it, I made a huge mistake, I’m so so done.” Y/N cried in a low voice. Worry written all over her face.
“What did you do?” Rose squeezed her shoulder.
“I didn’t know it was him.” She babbled. “I asked Mr. Shelby and his brothers to wait in line for their turn to get a fucking table.” Y/N explained over the music.
Rose stared at her for a split second and then bursted into an incontrolable laugh. “No you didn’t!”
“I did Rose! I did… and now he’s going to fire me.”
But she kept laughing. Trying to take a deep breath she sent their chat group a message urging the other girls to meet in the back.
You’re not gonna believe what Y/N did, she’s a hero! - she announced proudly.
“I can’t imagine the face he put on, must’ve gone like a stone.” Rose pinched her arm playfully.
Lee programmed a couple of songs to play automatically, Brummie left the bartender in charge while she claimed a quick bathroom trip. Red rushed the guys on the table to pay her for their drinks and tip.
As the group gathered in the back, they we waiting eager to hear what had happened.
“Our newest friend here, made the boss wait in line to get a table.” Rose announced ceremonially, pointing at Y/N.
She wasn’t trying to make fun of her, just trying to have a moment to relax.
Y/N groaned mortified, she kept shaking her head. Overthinking of what would happen.
“Nice way to get the Shelby’s attention.” Red pointed at Y/N with a smile, enjoying the teasing.
“Can we ask for the CCTV footage?” K asked. “I want to see him in the line.”
“I was looking for you,” Isiah one of the blinders appeared suddenly, “ladies how are you doing? Y/N… Mr. Shelby wants to see you.”
A chorus of ohhh’s from the girls filled the space.
Then, the girls started cheering on her.
“There she goes.” K sighed.
“Do you think she’s in trouble?” Lee looked around the group.
“Well it depends…” Red crossed her arms. “Hopefully he’s in a good mood.”
“I doubt it to be honest.” Rose raised an eyebrow skeptically. “But maybe she knows how to tame the beast.”
“Oh oh, if there’s group meeting it means something happened?” Mia joined the girls, she asked permission to arrive later that day. She had some personal affair to attend.
K placed her hands on Mia’s shoulders. “You just missed the fun, but I’ll make a short version while we prepare some drinks.” They were both in charge of the bar.
“Last time we had an urgent meeting, Michael got arrested.” Mia remembered with a chuckle.
“Oh, this is better than that.” Red assured before going back to the crowded tables.
As Y/N followed Isiah, her heart was pounding, grabbing her phone she texted her friend, Heidi.
I think I messed up, BIG.
A quick answer appeared on her screen, in the background a themed photo illuminated the phone, beautiful shades of green reminded her of nature and hope, it was made by a really talented friend.
What happened?! Are you OK?
Yeah. No… I confused the owner of the club and asked him to wait outside and make the line!
Her phone buzzed again.
No way! Tell me how it goes.
If I don’t reply back he probably let me blind. Carries a peaky cap with a razor blade.
Y/N took a deep breath and checked her phone again.
Don’t worry, I’m sure it will be fine. Her friend encouraged back.
She just prayed to not mess it up again and start babbling, arriving at the private area where the Shelby’s were she quickly tried to fix her short hair and bangs.
“Good evening,” her voice was shaking, her legs and her heart, everything! “I’d like to apologize for what happened earlier, I’m new and didn’t know any of you.”
Her eyes landed one more time on who seemed to be the leader, those icy eyes boring into the deepest part of her. His lips were pursed in a tight line.
“It’s okay, love. Don’t worry.” He couldn’t take his eyes off of her.
“Yeah, now me brother wants to find a way to speed the line up.” One of them explained, blowing his smoke towards the ceiling.
“John.” The man with the blue eyes warned. “Nevertheless, I’ve to thank you for keeping the line in check.”
His deep accent and the way he dragged each word gave her chills.
“Thank you, well that’s my job.”
“Here drink this.” Another of them, the one with a mustache offered her a glass. “To a very good job!”
The two youngest were whispering something and staring back at the leader.
“It’s alright, really.” Tommy assured her after seeing the fear in her eyes.
“Just make sure it doesn’t happen again.” The one he called John a moment ago suggested.
“Again I’m really sorry.”
“Y/N is it?” He rolled his tongue over his lips after saying her name. “It’s alright.”
“Just so you know, I’m John, so you don’t mistake me again.” He had a huge grin on his face. “This is Finn, Michael and Arthur.” He started pointing out at everybody. “And that’s Tommy.”
“I won’t forget your names.” She repeated them mentally. “Enjoy your night, I’ll bring you another round.”
Y/N excused herself and went back to work. He was wearing a simple white shirt with a jacket and black jeans, but somehow he made it look effortlessly good. She was trying to focus on the people in the guest list instead of those eyes that reminded her of the most beautiful sky.
She smiled at a couple that walked past her dancing to the beat of the music.
A table next to her exploded in shouts and claps as K and Mia arrived with their shots and sparklers.
From the second floor, Tommy was watching her every move, eyes following her everywhere, studying her moves and the way she approached clients.
Arthur waved his hand in front of Tommy’s eyes after he didn’t listened to what he said.
“Tom? What do you think?”
Finn nudged John’s arm, tilting his head towards Tommy.
Tommy took a long puff of his cigarette, pretending to be part of their conversation.
“Hmm?”
“Earth calling Tommy.” John teased. “He’s still waiting outside in the queue.”
Shooting John a death stare, he asked Arthur to repeat himself.
“Shall we call some women up?”
“Whatever.” He cleared his throat and stood up making his way through the club.
Talking to security, they informed him they kicked out a customer that got noisy and aggressive, but other than that, it was a quiet night. Everything seemed to be under control, the place was packed, everyone wanted to get in, live the experience and have the status only Delux could offer. He knew it was the best club in town, many club owners tried to copy his place, but they all failed, they tried to copy the details that made his club unique, it screamed luxury and good taste.
Eyeing Y/N across the club, Tommy decided to walk towards her, she was focused on the list before her eyes, swaying her hips to the beat of the music, pouting her lips murmuring the words… he could only imagine how would them feel against his, while his fingers tangled in her short hair.
Before he could reach her, she then turned her back at him to walk in the opposite direction, but abruptly, she changed her mind and turned around again, bumping into Tommy’s chest in the process.
“Mr. Shelby! I’m really sorry.” He could tell she was mortified, embarrassed.
“It’s alright, sweetheart.” Tommy reluctantly took a step back.
Y/N hoped her voice wouldn’t crack. “Do you need something?” Battling her lashes slowly at him. “Can I take you your drinks upstairs?”
He was startled by her overwhelming beauty, under some kind of spell by her voice and smile. It had been so long since he felt so captivated by someone… Shaking his head slowly to clear his mind, but she thought he was saying no to her.
Taking that as her cue to leave, Y/N started walking away. “Well if you need anything, let me know.”
“Actually I do.” Tommy managed to say, making Y/N turn to face him once more.
Everything happened in a blink, he grabbed her by her face and kissed Y/N, not able to resist the desire any longer. But when she answered the kiss with the same eagerness and placed her hand on the back of his neck to pull Tommy closer he lost it.
Guiding Y/N towards the wall, he trapped her between it and his body.
Kissing her hard, he tilted his head to the opposite side, relieved to feel her matching his desire. Feeling one of his hands, brushing down from her waist to her hip and then down her leg, she added some pressure on his shoulders.
“Someone can come.” Y/N warned him breathlessly, his lips barely away from hers, just what was really necessary for her to speak.
“I don’t fucking care, I own this place.” Tommy told her right before kissing her again with passion.
Squeezing the flesh of her thigh and he felt as if he had whiskey injected in his veins.
Y/N moved her head back slightly, that left Tommy with his mouth hanging open in an almost sensual kiss that had just slipped away from him. Opening his eyes after the failed mission, he found her bitting her lower lip playfully.
His blue irises darkened under the dim light.
“I really need get back to work or my boss might fire me.” Y/N explained before stealing one more quick peck on his lips and bending down to free herself from him, left Tommy leaning against the wall with his heart pumping so fast that it felt like he was having a heart attack.
He chuckled quietly at her statement.
Going back up, he stood looking down at the people at the club, his eyes scanning the place until he found that pretty little thing that with just one kiss, made him feel more than anyone else.
Feeling som eking of pressure on 5e back of her head, Y/N turned around and lifting her eyes, she found Tommy staring at her from the second floor. Raising his glass at her, he added a wink.
Y/N felt her cheeks blushing and smile quickly spread on her lips. Checking the clock, she walked towards the door it was about time to not let anyone else in.
“Your lipstick is smeared dear.” Mia pointed out.
“Damn it, really?” Worryingly she went back to the bar, to check her reflection on the mirror behind all the booze bottles.
As the girls started to ask her what had happened, she got another message on her phone.
Think you can send me back to the line twice and get away with it twice? Meet me in my office once you’re done. -Your boss.
She gasped. He oozed trouble from every angle, the one that won’t let you get up from bed after several rounds.
He was practically the bad boy your grandmother warned you about.
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✨ thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed a little spiced story 🔥
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milkypompon · 1 day
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Chapter 3 | Pick Up
pairing: Marc Spector x Reader (implied Steven Grant x Reader, implied Jake Lockley x Reader)
summary: Even after a year living with Steven and Jake in the headspace, Marc struggles to quiet the buzzing chatter. He finds himself frequenting Coffee for Two, a place where brewing roasts fill the air and the cookies are as sweet as the barista.
this chapter: you finally receive a phone call...?
content: Mentions of Marc's past, plotty plot plot
wc: 2k+
a/n: I'm exploring the dynamic between the moon boys! Specifically on Steven and Jake's understanding of the system.
Moon Knight Masterlist || Main Masterlist
Coffee Doodles Masterlist
< Previous || Next >
Take it out of that pile of shit, Stevie. 
“I won’t.”
Ay, do it before I sit your ass to the back. 
Steven stares into the rubbish, listening to Jake’s half-hearted threats. 
It didn’t matter if he tossed it into a trash compactor and cast it into the open sea, they both memorized the number on the cup. 
How else could they have survived as Khonshu’s avatar? 
The god spouted astronomical coordinate systems during missions, instead of cardinal directions. It was disrespectful of his domain to merely water down the night sky into four words or their combinations, according to the squawking bird. 
Regardless, no point of direction from his alter or the moon god could shift his moral compass. 
“I dare you, mate.” 
Jake grumbles under his breath. 
Neither of them liked to tug on the string that forced control over the body. They wouldn’t be any better than Khonshu rattling his wrapped talons over their lifeforce — a puppet at the hands of its master. 
We’re allowed to live our own lives. Isn’t that what you wanted?
“This isn’t just about me anymore. Or just you for that matter.”
Once, Steven wanted nothing more than to free himself of the sleep-deprived nights and taste a drip of normalcy. He thought the only way to do that was to overcome whatever was going on in his head.
Egypt.
Khonshu.
The happenings in the Duat with Marc and Jake.
But now, his life, their life was more than that.
Steven was more than elated to discover support from a place he couldn’t even begin to fathom. 
Finding a way for each of them to front was a balancing act through understanding. It isn’t created by compartmentalizing the week into color-coded days or agreeing to a first come first serve basis. Their system was far from perfect, but it was their’s. 
Restraint was the seed of their problems, among other things, but the anxiousness of being confined (like they were in the sarcophagus) was something they couldn’t stomach. 
An attempt to claw himself out would forego the delicate trust built on an unsteady foundation.
No more lies.
No more secrets. 
And definitely, no more double duties.
“Besides, you said it yourself. We should live our own life. If either of us rings up the barista, despite all her loveliness, you’d be pretending to be Marc.”
Jake knew what was coming next. Don’t tell that story again–
Steven turns up his nose toward the reflection on the toaster. “Need I remind you, the last time you filled in my shoes, I ended up at a steakhouse for a date?”
You’re never gonna let me live that down, eh? At least it got you outta the stuffy museum for the night. 
“Hmph, I’m never take dating advice from you, no matter how desperate I get.”
Well, desperate times call for desperate measures. 
How about you take those pretty little fingers and pick up that damn cup! And use your other set of five to press the numbers into your phone. 
Jake tended to spear-head ways to bring the out of their shell, it stemmed from years of hiding away. His actions came from good intentions, though the sentiments among the three weren’t always shared. 
“Not gonna be late for my first day, you twat.”
Steven tugs the handles of the trash bag into a neat bow, double-knotting it to emphasize the point. 
He chews the inside of his cheek. It’s been a day, but he still couldn’t feel Marc’s presence after retreating into the recesses of their mind. He’d be lying to himself if he said that things were a little easier this time around.
Despite going through hell and back (almost quite literally), maybe there would be a shared bonding experience that would lead them on the right track. But it always seemed like something veered them a little bit off-center. This time it wasn't a life-threatening mission...
Steven shrugs on his jacket and tinkers with the doorknob.
Since the last time Steven worked at the gift shop, he swears the British Museum didn’t sell the stone statues of the Ennead. (He wonders what else popped up during his absence). At least nine deities are behind the display case, instead of the misprinted eight on the poster.
How the toymakers laid their hands on strangely accurate models of the ushabtis is beyond him. It isn’t his problem anymore, the days of working inventory are over.
Whoever is responsible for the new figurines must be the same person who sorted out his new job. After the loo and jackal incident, he swore up and down that he blew the opportunity to become a tour guide.
He shoulders his bag and heads to the information desk, where a familiar blond sifts through papers.
Steven clears his throat. “Morning, Donna!”
“Stevie.” She peers up, a strained smile splitting her face, and hands him his nametag. 
It doesn’t matter if she calls him the wrong name, nothing could take away the bubbling joy in his heart. He holds it in his two hands as if cradling a duckling. 
Steven marvels at it briefly and smiles, noticing the engraved designs. He runs his thumb over it.
A scarab and a moon. 
Layla must’ve put a good word in for him before she left for Egypt.
He clips it onto his breast pocket.
Steven Grant Tour Guide
Donna pipes up, “After you’re done ogling, group A is waiting up front. Speak up a bit for that bunch. Mostly grandparents looking for a day out.”
Steven weaves between visitors meandering through the halls before standing in front of about ten people. A few wandering eyes behind a pair of thick glasses are already looking past him and at the exhibit. Others are fidgeting with their canes. 
“Hiya, there everyone! I’m Steven with V and’ll be your tour guide for the day.” He claps his hands with a bright smile. 
Steven walks backward to face the group while explaining each artifact with animated hand gestures and fluctuating voice impressions. There are tidbits of information he sprinkles in pulled from personal encounters with the gods. But, he skirts around how the unfriendly croc wanted to consume the souls of the living. 
The tour ends in a little under an hour, leaving enough wiggle room for a q and a portion. He rounds them up in front of a sectioned-off hall where they are free to discuss the pieces without the usual prattling of sugar-infested children. 
“Anything you’d like to know more about off the top of your noggin?” 
A shaky hand raises, a paper bracelet decorating the granny’s wrist. 
People rarely asked questions, so Steven beams at the prospect of going off into another tangent with someone as captivated as he is in Egyptology. 
“Yes, please! Go ahead.”
She smiles curiously and points to the unopened area of the museum. “What’s in there?”
“Ah, your guess is as good as mine. It’s my first day here so the curators haven’t filled me in on what’s going.”
“Could we take a peek?”
The hall isn’t open to the public for various reasons – there are fragile steles, brittle canopic jars, and parchment that resemble closer to dust than paper. Still, it tickled his fancy to be one of the first few people to check out the unearthed pieces.  
He scratches the back of his neck. “The guided tour has ended, but feel free to stick around with me and the missus here if you’d like to look in.”
The group is seemingly uninterested, except for her. They disperse with an appreciative nod and head toward the exit. 
“Well, aren’t you a sponge for knowledge!” Steven unclips the rope from the pole and ushers her inside. “Watch your step, might be bits and pieces of packing stuffs.”
Wooden crates line the walls along the respective categories of tools, ceremonial weapons, and non-utilitarian objects. The last are Steven’s particular favorite.
His eyes land on a slab of stone with carefully carved hieroglyphs. “This poem is dedicated to Hathor, the Goddess of Love. How lovely!”
It’s set inside a glass case, Marc stares back at him on the reflection with a slight frown, but it isn’t directed toward him. 
Her hand sidles up to the barrier, Steven glances at the strip of paper around her wrist… it’s a hospital bracelet. 
“Can the other two read this like you can?” 
Steven’s mouth gapes open and before he can reply she recites the hieroglyphs to his (and Marc’s) surprise. 
One plus one Equals two One for me And one for you 
Frantic footsteps near them, J.B. sets the rope back in place and tuts. “Oy! That’s where you went off to. I couldn’t find you on the cams. Off you go, you two.”
Steven tucks his chin down, voice going into a low whisper. “Think the missus here got lost.” 
“What’re you going on about–” J.B.’s gaze flits over to her. 
He rolls his wrist to emphasize his point.
“Gotcha, I’ll call security. Can’t believe she’s back.”
“Back?” He whispers to himself, just barely catching J.B.’s last sentence. 
Steven adds, “Heya, no need for a big fiasco. She’s a nice one.”
The chime of the entrance bell hasn’t rung all morning at Coffee for Two.
You gnaw at the end of your pencil in deep contemplation. Your decision darts between opening the shop to kill the boredom or listening to Nan about joining her for a break after she was given strict doctor’s orders for bed rest. Years of baking sweets and brewing coffee weren’t easy on her knees or head for that matter. 
Either way, you were supposed to be on vacation, yet here you were working on a new bread recipe. 
You worked around the clock before she practically forced you to hit the pause button. Even with the help of your part-timer, she couldn’t hold a candle to Nan’s experience with folding dough, piping frosting, and roasting beans. 
Though sitting behind the counter were moments few and far between, you missed the daily hustle and bustle of serving the regulars who were often in pairs.
The gray hairs of a Mister and Missus would peek from the velvet couch as they dipped a biscotti into a dark roast. Or a budding romance between a young couple would lead to sharing an affogato by the wooden stools. You’d smile to yourself and throw in extra cookies for them, claiming that you miscalculated the measurements and made more than usual.
You aren’t a stranger to the coffee shop meet-cute. It happens often enough to warrant the thought of writing a collection of romance novels. 
Between work… and work, there wasn’t much time to do anything else.
The tangents meet when Marc showed up. 
At the right moment and time.
You flinch when your phone plays a jingle, fumbling to grab it and pressing the green button.
“Hello?”
– 
When you prayed to any god listening about receiving a call out of sheer boredom, you didn’t expect a call from the Royal London Hospital. You gripped your phone waiting for the nurse’s message.
“This is the number we had on file in case of emergencies.”
“Yeah, yes. That’s me, I’m her granddaughter.”
“We’d like to inform you that she’s left the premises… again”
“Left the– Bloody hell! You could’ve started with that! You would think after the first time, you’d keep a closer eye on her, eh?” You accidentally bite your tongue after hurtling word after word at the nurse. 
“We’re not responsible for the patient who’s left the area. But, we–” 
“Tried?” You make your way out of the coffee shop, nudging the door close with your hip. “Yeah, like the first two times? Third time’s a fucking charm. You better hope she’s at the same place as last time.”
A call from another line intercepts your current one.
“Uh, hello, Miss!” A light voice chirps from the other side. “We’ve got a bit of a situation at the British Museum.”
You groan inwardly, she was there again. No wonder why the incoming number was familiar. (Not that you were expecting an unknown one from a particular curly-haired regular...)
“Did you find Nan?”
“If you mean the nice granny with the dangly bracelet, then it’s safe to say, yes.” 
“Did she– Is she okay?”
He chirps, “Oh yes, mhm! No need to worry, we’re sat down together.”
“Good, okay. Thank you, by the way, uh…”
“Oh bollocks, forgot to introduce myself. It’s Steven. Steven Grant.”
“I’ll be there in fifteen.”
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irisintheafterglow · 4 hours
Text
of daisies and collisions
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺ now playing: thelonious monk - "green chimney's"
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summary: nanami kento felt a little out of his element, with a small bundle of flowers sitting in his lap and brooding in the dark corner of the jazz bar. yet, you play that song he likes again, and nothing else matters. (nanami x you)
wc: 1.9k
cw/tags: strangers to lovers (??), first meeting, banter-driven fluff with a little bit of angst at the beginning, gojo cameo
note: FIRST TIME WRITING FOR NANAMI RAHHHHHH. thank you to @yutaleks for donating as a part of @ficsforgaza !!! also,,, threw in a little reference for @mididoodles my og nanami lover. i hope you like this :))
likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated <3
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Nanami Kento considered himself a simple man. 
A week ago, he would have clocked out of work and driven home alone, maybe throwing a baking show on the TV while he made pan-fried dinner in solitude. Nothing got past Nanami’s walls because he didn’t let them. Simple, easy, boring–that was his life since leaving Jujutsu society. Nothing exciting and nothing new, life passed him by and he allowed it to slip through his fingers like water, letting himself become pulled into the mundane pushing-and-pulling tide of everyday life. He wasn’t a sorcerer anymore; just a working man with too much time on his hands, seeing shadows no one else could. Yet, the thought lingered in his mind: who was benefiting from his efforts?
That was his existence, up until a week ago when a novice driver scraped the hood of his car in just the right way to make the engine go completely kaput. 
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, sir!” 
“I am aware of your remorse. Kindly give me your information so we can handle this in a timely manner.” 
“Yes, sir. Of course, sir!” He exhaled through his nose. The boy couldn’t have been older than eighteen and any other decent adult would have sympathy for the kid. Nanami, however, couldn’t be bothered and took down the teenager’s license and registration with as minimal words as possible. Soon enough, his phone was pressed to his cheek as he called a cab, the nearest one being at least fifteen minutes away. Before he could slip his phone back into his pocket, he senses a body rushing toward his seconds until an inevitable impact. He tries to pivot so that the figure brushes past his arm instead of colliding, but it’s no use. Your shoulder rams into his and you stumble, briefly aware of his hand brushing your forearm to catch you. 
“Sorry about that!” You’re giving him an apologetic smile, still continuing in your current direction. You’re clutching a small stack of papers and you grasp at them as they start to slip from your arms. He gapes unexpectedly, meeting your eyes from over your shoulder. His silence seems to concern you and you take a few steps back toward him with drawn eyebrows. “A-Are you alright?”
“I’m fine, thank you,” he forces out after a moment, taking a disorienting amount of time to regain his bearings. Why was he so startled by you? “Are you–”
“Okay, great! I have to,” you stutter, gesturing the opposite way, “I have to go. I’m so sorry about running into you, again. Have a good one!” Nanami finds his hand acting on its own, stretching out to grab your attention before you’re gone. He’s a millisecond too late and realizes with a weight in his stomach why he couldn’t stop staring at you. There was something attached to you, something inhuman. It was nearly imperceptible because of your normalcy and any other sorcerer would have missed it, but he saw it, the grotesquely snake-like Curse winding its coils around your neck. The question comes into the forefront of his mind again: who was benefiting from his efforts?
Shit. 
He trails after you without thinking, without any regard as to whether he would miss the cab or get home after the sun disappears. You’re texting someone frantically while still shuffling around your papers, checking street signs every so often before taking a sharp turn right into a brick building Nanami had never entered before. MIDI’S: JAZZ AND DRINKS, read the neon yellow sign, and he pushes through the door without another moment’s hesitation. 
“How are we feeling tonight, ladies and gentlemen?” Cheering, a few hoots and hollers. It’s comfortingly warm in the dark space, dimly lit by a few dandelion lanterns and a tasteful amount of plain candles. There’s a bar tucked into the left wall with two bartenders chatting up distinguished-looking customers. Crowded tables and attendees lounging in creaky chairs litter the space, sipping from honey-colored bottles and crystal glasses. It’s homey, Nanami thinks. Not necessarily his usual crowd, but he could find solace in it. “We’ve got a lot more music up for you tonight, featuring our very own pride of Midi’s.” Nanami’s eyes are drawn to the circular stage at the center of the room, where the announcer gestures behind her to a person seated at the piano. He blinks once, then twice, before realizing that it’s you. You smile into the darkness, wincing a bit when the snake Curse around your shoulders squeezes tauntingly. You had no idea of the danger you were in, which Nanami figured was the reason he orders a glass of bourbon and finds a less-crowded corner of the club. 
Your fingers dance on the keys of the piano, gliding and crossing over each other lighter than touching a paintbrush to a canvas. Your movements are smooth and unrestrained, flawless except for the momentary constriction of the Curse attached to you. The Curse’s eyes find Nanami’s and it seems to smile, constricting harder than it had previously while maintaining eye contact. You cough hard enough that your song is interrupted and the other musicians around you quickly cover for you as you struggle for a drink of water. The Curse was restricting your ability to play, and his body again reacted before his mind. 
He focuses a significant amount of Cursed Energy into his balled fist–not enough to be noticeable to non-sorcerers, but enough to serve as a warning for the Curse blocking your airway. It recoils like a vampire caught in direct sunlight, slinking away into the darkness behind the piano. It was still attached to you, but he knew it wouldn’t pester you for the rest of your performance. Exorcizing the Curse himself was risky, since you’d recognize Nanami as soon as he was in close proximity. As the last step in his quiet plan to keep you safe, he opens his messages and scrolls through the endless amount of heart-emoji texts he left unanswered, sending his location to the one contact in his phone that is involved with being a salaryman. 
> LOCATION SENT - NANAMI KENTO TO GOJO SATORU 
— 
“That’s them? That’s why you send me to a jazz bar at 7:00 P.M. on a Thursday?” 
“Don’t call them ‘that,’ Gojo. It’s crass,” Nanami mutters, another sip of bourbon burning down his throat. The blindfolded sorcerer beside him shrugs indifferently, considering you again. You’re playing with more life than you were the week prior, when the Curse was snug around your neck like a deadly scarf. He might have imagined it, but Nanami could have sworn you caught his eye and winked at him. Gojo insists those winks were for him, though. “But, yes. They are the reason I sent you that message.” 
“Why’d you do it?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why’d you follow them and get involved, anyway? It’s not like you to get concerned with things that don’t benefit the collective. At least, not since you left,” Gojo replies. It’s harsh, a little blunter than Gojo’s usual lackadaisical comments, but he’s right. Nanami hadn’t been worried about a single person besides himself in a long while, however much he didn’t like to admit it. He was fine protecting his own simple, boring existence, until he realized just how much he wanted to protect your existence too. Nanami Kento was a selfish man, inside, and he considered his actions to keep you safe not altruism, but an extension of his selfishness. That’d be too hard to express to Gojo, though, so he settles for mirroring his former colleague’s indifferent shrug. 
“Felt like the correct path to follow,” he answers. The small bundle of daisies sitting in Nanami’s lap weighs heavier than a dumbbell, and it occurs to him just how out of his element he was. He was used to things being clean-cut and easy, but his recent interest in getting to know you had thrown off his entire livelihood. “We are to keep people safe, are we not?”
“I’m supposed to keep those people safe. I don’t really know what you’re doing anymore,” Gojo drawls. “Though, I will say, they’re really pretty. You think I can pull them?”
“The only thing pulling you is my arm out of this establishment if you don’t be quiet,” Nanami deadpans. “Plus,” he looks down at the stray flower petals sprinkling his dress pants, “I have first dibs.”
You smile at him when he approaches you sidestage after your set, visibly more relaxed without the Curse on your back. Gojo was long gone doing who-knows-what, leaving Nanami to deal with the unwanted fluttering in his gut. 
“You’re back again. Enjoy the show last week?”
“Yes,” he affirms, “You are incredibly talented.” 
“Thank you.” Your eyes flick down to the flowers in his fist, comically small in comparison to his large hands. “Those for me?” 
“Y-Yes, of course,” he sputters, handing you the bunch more stiff than he planned. A silent understanding hides behind your expression; you can see through him like glass. Somehow, he doesn’t mind. “Were you–”
“Are you–” You both speak at the same time and abruptly trail off, insisting that the other goes first. “Please,” you concede with a wave of your hand, “go ahead.”
“I was going to ask if you were playing here for the first time when we ran into each other, last week.” 
“Was it that obvious?” You rub the back of your neck with your hand, your smile turning playfully embarrassed. “I had this weird cough that was messing with my health, so that’s why I was running late. It was also probably why I collided with you on the sidewalk,” you chuckle. 
“I am unbothered,” he admits. His thoughts slip out from his mouth without thinking. “I wouldn’t mind if you collided with me again.” Your eyes widen and Nanami can feel his face begin to burn, Gojo’s devilish grin at the back of his mind accusing him of being terrible at relationships. “I-I’m not sure why I said that–”
“It’s Kento, right?” You’re peering at him curiously, as if you were trying to hold in a laugh. The sound of his name on your lips is more intoxicating than any amount of alcohol from the bar. 
“Yes, how did you–”
“The blindfolded guy came up to me during my break and said he was with you,” you state, the corner of your mouth still quirking like you were hiding a secret. “You have weird friends.” You didn’t know half of it. 
“Right,” he forces out. You didn’t seem to mind how goofy Nanami was acting; in fact, something in his head told him that you liked it. “Well, I-I apologize for such a bold–”
“You know,” you cut in as the back of your hand delicately brushes the tiny flowers in your hand. “My set tomorrow night ends early and there’s a really good sandwich shop just up the street. Maybe I could collide with you there?” 
“That would–Yes, I would like that,” he barely replies. You tear a corner from your sheet music and scribble something onto it. You press it into his palm as you head backstage, your touch electrifying every single nerve you made contact with. 
“See you tomorrow,” you wave with that same small smile he was losing himself to. For better or for worse, something about meeting you made Nanami unwilling to go back to that simple, easy way he was living before. 
GREEN CHIMNEY’S (PG. 3)
(XXX) XXX-XXXX 
here’s that song you like, it’s the one you smile at every time <3 
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jewish-vents · 2 days
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Constantly visiting this blog and reading the rants of other Jews suffering like me....I cannot stop crying all the time. So much of us in pain and no one listening. I'm scared. Will it take something huge for everyone else to listen? How far will their hatred go? I can't stop thinking about that post on R/Jewish titled "Be ready this time." Will they still gaslight us even when the hatred becomes so big even they cannot deny or ignore it?
As a South Asian, I saw how brown people were lumped together and suffered after 9/11. To this day, everyone still makes 9/11 jokes but it was us who paid the price. How bad will the world punish us for this? I can't stop feeling suicidal. We will always be blamed for everything wrong in the world. We will never have allies, even our own people turn their backs on us in order to secure that "Good Jew" spot to avoid the dire consequences of being a "bad one".
I hate how betrayed I feel. It was so predictable, yk? The switch up. For the past few years, I couldn't stop feeling like antisemitism was gonna be back in style soon. My family thought it was just paranoia. Then it happened and yet I don't think I could ever get over it or stomach it. How do we even begin to process how quickly everyone embraced extreme, conservative levels of antisemitism? The moment they all took the stance that "Antisemitism isn't real/nothing is antisemitism not even antisemitism is antisemitism" against Israel's "everything is antisemitism", everything went to shit.
Watching the antisemitism happen in real time haunts me too....I can barely sleep. October 7th was already such a horrible day on the internet, don't get me wrong but on my side, at least I saw some people trying to push the "peace for all sides" stance. But after a week or so (maybe a few days tbh), I saw the antisemitism take over everywhere and it replays in my mind, making me sick. They couldn't wait to hate us. They were so happy that they no longer had to care about Jews or antisemitism (They never even spoke about us or our oppression anyways but now they can finally talk about us like the conservatives they oh so hate while also gaslighting us!)
And it sucks to admit but it hurts even more that my fellow people of color and queer people see us as such threats. We're just supposed to take it. We can't ever talk about how Muslims have oppressed us....When Kanye went Nazi, I saw a lot of people fall into antisemitic conspiracies and put the blame on us as well as all their anger and frustrations because somehow it's our fault he never got deplatformed for his "slavery was a choice" remarks and we always have "an agenda". We're just the perfect punching bags because there's so little of us and most people in the world have never met a Jew and yet think they know us through "The Jews killed Jesus" and "The Jews own the world".
I love you all. Everyone who posts on here and of course the person or persons who run this blog. I know we will survive this. We are so strong....we shouldn't have to be but we are anyway and I'm so proud. We've been here before and we will probably be here again over and over. But I'm so honored.
They can try to run over random Jews and shoot our schools and get the world to turn against any Jew by simply calling them a Zionist (which starts a serious isolation of Jews from the world as many Jews get boycotted in the name of antizionism) and attack our elders as they leave synagogues and leave antisemitic flyers in our neighborhoods saying we are the one true evil and do everything you can possibly imagine to harm us and we'll always be here. Everyone finally gets unity through Judenhass but what's new?
Thank you for this blog. It's so easy to feel like we're so alone but we have each other 💕 Sorry for this really long rant. I came here feeling extra hurt because I lost another friend recently. She came to me to have a long antisemitic rant about this white Jewish girl in our circle. Then a concerned friend sent me screenshots of a thread laughing and mocking us on 4chan (🤢🤮) about how Leftists hate Jews more than 4chan now. I can't take any of this anymore. But I am truly grateful for this blog and this space to yell and scream 💕
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hunnysnoops · 20 hours
Text
˗ˋ𝕎𝕙𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕋𝕖𝕖𝕥𝕙 𝕋𝕖𝕖𝕟𝕤ˊ˗
Chapter Seven: You Are Going to Hate This
Kyle Broflovski x fem reader
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Blackout and I need to sit and I wrote this, but it don't mean shit. Why can't I be like you? I miss you and I let you down and your voice is the perfect sound. Why can't I be so cool?
Premise: No one thought the school lock-in would go well, they just didn’t know poorly it would play out.
Warnings: mentions of blood and injury / mentions of disease / crude language and humour
MASTERLIST
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There wasn't much you had been looking forward to about the school lock-in, the only thing that had slightly piqued your interest was competition. While various activities were being hosted in numerous classrooms, you were prepping yourself for the volleyball tournament in the gym.
A large sum of your friends were on the volleyball team and were also warming up. They had all paired up with each other and as you arrived at the school late, everyone already had a partner, leaving you with Andrew who was talking himself up but didn't have the skills to match.
"What's straight edge?" Annie asks from next to you where she spikes the ball across the net to Nichole, her eyebrows furrowing as she reads your shirt "You're not straight."
"No, it's like a punk movement from the eighties that was against drinking and smoking," You toss the ball high into the air and send it over the net with a satisfying smack. Andrew fumbles the return, the ball bouncing off his forearms and rolling away. He jogs after it, muttering an apology.
"So why are you wearing that?" She's even more confused at the answer. You were wearing a black loose T-shirt made of soft, high-quality cotton. The front of the shirt prominently features a bold white 'X' across the chest, above the 'X' where the words 'STRAIGHT EDGE' in bold lettering. The design includes a small graphic of a broken cigarette and an overturned bottle beneath the text. The back of the T-shirt has a minimalist design with the phrase 'LIVE CLEAN'. Anyone who knew you well had been casting you questioning glances.
"It's a thing for my dad's work, he asked if I could wear it and I said yeah," Your dad worked at a non-profit youth center and that week they were promoting drug abstinence. Weston was also given a t-shirt though he threw it at the back of his closet where it would never see the light again.
"But you aren't actually quitting smoking?"
"No, he was just so excited about it and I felt really bad because no one wanted to wear these goofy ass shirts." You serve the ball again, but Andrew misses the return once more, the ball sailing past him and thudding against the gym floor. A small knot of frustration begins to form in your chest.
"Oh my god, you're learning empathy," Annie turns her gaze back to Nichole, when the ball is headed for her, she braces her arms and bumps it perfectly back over the net.
Everyone else participating in the tournament seemed to have no issues with their partners while they practiced rallies. You take a deep breath and serve again, but this time the ball barely grazes his fingertips before hitting the ground. "Do something, bitch!" You throw your hands out, glaring at Andrew.
"Okay, never mind," Annie sucks a breath through her teeth, taking back the words she said just moments prior. She had been wearing her pink pyjama shorts with little daisies on them and a white tank top, curly hair pinned back into a French braid. Almost all of the students had arrived in their pyjamas which was the majority of some form of flannel pants and a t-shirt.
Despite your efforts to stay calm, Andrew's repeated fumbles and missed returns chip away at your composure. Each errant ball hits the gym floor with a dull thud, amplifying your growing irritation. "Andrew, get your balls in order."
"Jesus, it's not that easy," He tosses the ball up, smacking it in a feeble attempt. His hand lands on the top and sends the ball flying below the net.
"You're supposed to hit it over," You walk over to pick up the ball. Earlier when you had been looking for a partner Andrew couldn't stop talking about how good he was at volleyball but now that you were seeing him in action, you wanted to wrap your hands around his throat or maybe spike his head over the net instead of the ball.
The bandage over your nose was finally gone and the bruising was almost gone completely, all that was left was a little nick on your nose. Without the painkillers making you lethargic, you were back to being hostile.
He rolls the ball back over to you after missing another perfect serve. You move slowly to make sure he's ready for the next pass. You take a deep breath, focusing your energy on the perfect serve. You toss the ball high, your eyes following its arc. As it descends, you leap slightly, making contact with a resounding thud. The ball grazes over the net in a graceful, powerful trajectory, spinning slightly as it cuts through the air.
It's the kind of serve that you know is perfect the moment you hit it.
Instead of moving to meet the ball, Andrew freezes. His eyes widen in a moment of panic, his feet glued to the spot. The ball hurtles past him, as he shrugs away from it. You watch as the ball lands just past him with a thump. "I want a new partner, Andrew fucking sucks."
"Well, you aren't giving me much to work with here," He shoots back.
Slowly, your head turns to look at him "The only thing I would give you is a handful of antidepressants so no one else has to put up with your bitching," You say, pointedly "Get out of here."
"Eat shit and die," He stuck up his middle finger.
"Eat shit and live, Andrew," you returned the gesture, dropping the volleyball and hurryingly scattering to the whiteboard that held every pair's names. With your forearm, you wipe Andrew's name off and think of another replacement to fill the blank space. You glance around the gym seeing Stan on the bleachers and immediately mark down a name with the pink pen.
He was locked in on watching his girlfriend, he sat with Jimmy, the two chatting amongst themselves until you strolled up at record pace "Hi?"
"Hey," you smile, hands on your hips.
"W-what's with the sh-shi shirt?" Jimmy was the fifth person to question the straight-edge shirt laid over your torso.
"Where's Kyle?" You ask abruptly, ignoring the question.
"I'm pretty sure he's in Mr Dubois's classroom," Stan had been wearing thick grey sweatpants and a hoodie layered over a long sleeve despite the warm weather. You could only imagine he was suffocating under there "Why?"
"Thanks," You look towards the large digital clock mounted above the entrance of the gym, ten minutes until the tournament starts.
You sprint out of the gym, your footsteps echoing in the deserted hallway. The fluorescent lights overhead buzz softly as you race past the rows of lockers and closed classroom doors. You dart around a corner, narrowly avoiding a collision with a group of students heading toward the gym.
Pulling your phone from your pocket, you dig around for his number while rushing through the hallway.
New Message-Kyle Broflovski
You: Mf where r u??????????????
You: This is super urgent
You: Right hand to god
You: I'm gonna keel haul you
You read each number carved into the plaques on the doors, searching for room 116 where Mr Dubois taught French. In almost every room there was a different group of kids doing different activities, you pass the drama room where people are huddled up in the dark and watching movies.
The art room had of course been doing pottery and miscellaneous forms of art where everyone had their headphones stuck in their ears and didn't utter a word to anyone else in the room. There were always the kids bumming around in stairwells and corners, scrolling on their phones or hitting their vapes. There was an absurd lack of chaperones.
Finally, you reached classroom 116 where the door was decorated in prints of the French and Canadian flags as Mr. Dubois hailed from Quebec and would never let you hear the end of it if you asked.
Prying the door open, you were slightly taken aback by the sight. You had anticipated it would be a couple of guys sitting around and doing nothing in particular but you were met with the sight of six desks pushed together in the center of the class to form one table and eight guys pulled around it in chairs. They all had a plethora of sheets and colourful dice lying between them.
No one noticed you come in, they were deep in a game of Dungeons and Dragons and chatting amongst themselves. Butters noticed eyes on the back of his head and turned to face you, a smile on his face "Hey," He was one of the few people who turned up in a matching pyjama set, it was light blue and satin almost matching the stark paleness of his eyes "We already started but you can join if you want."
"No, she can't," Cartman countered immediately, he was taking the role of dungeon master. He turns his attention from Butters to you "You can't play."
"I don't wanna play your gay-ass game," You wrinkle your nose "Where's Kyle? Stan said he was in here."
Glancing around at the guys sitting down at the makeshift table, there wasn't even a lock of ginger hair in sight. "Oh, he went to the bathroom," Butters said "So you're not playing?"
"No, I'm not," You say, turning and leaving the door ajar behind you while you continue your way down the hallway once again.
For a beat you stand outside of the boy's bathroom and debate whether or not to enter, glancing around to make sure no one can see you. You rush into the bathroom, slipping through the door and immediately hearing the faint sound of music. You follow the noise, rounding the corner to find Kyle standing in front of the mirror, phone in hand, filming himself lipsyncing.
The very second you laid eyes on the scene before you, you erupted in laughter like a hyena. Eyes wide and mouth agape, Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she gasped for breath between fits of laughter. "What are you doing in here?" Kyle quickly turned his phone off, tucking it into his pocket while heat rose to his face.
"Are you making a thirst-" You couldn't even finish your sentence before breaking into giggles again. Still laughing uncontrollably, you stumbled backward, your legs giving way beneath you. You reached out instinctively, hand grasping the edge of the bathroom counter to steady yourself. Your body shook with laughter, and you leaned heavily against the counter, your face flushed and eyes sparkling with mirth.
"It's not that funny," Kyle said with a straight face.
Your hand moved to clutch your stomach where your ribs were beginning to hurt from laughing so hard, a single tear spilled from your eye. "Can I watch?" You say between chuckles.
"Fuck off," he muttered under his breath and moved to push past you.
You quickly straighten up, rushing to block the door "Woah, woah, woah."
"What do you want?"
"Let's just talk for a second," Slowly you put your hands out in front of you as carefully as a bullfighter would.
"You're in the boy's bathroom," He points out.
"What? Would you rather talk in the girls?" You retort and the annoyance is clear across his face as he reaches past you for the handle but you put your hands on his chest in an attempt to keep him away from it "Okay, sorry. My volleyball partner bailed last minute," You lied, trying to make yourself sound as convincing as possible "And the tournament starts in like, five minutes. Can you fill in?"
"No," His body language was slightly tense, his shoulders hunching forward as if trying to shrink away.
"What?" You sound genuinely shocked "Why?"
"Why would I want to play volleyball for two hours?"
"Because it's with me," You try for a sweet smile but it comes off insincere. You could tell Kyle wasn't buying it as his face remained unmoved and unimpressed "Okay, well, why would you want to play DnD for like eight hours?"
"Oh my god," He turns away from you, running one hand through curly locks while he does a small pace before stopping to face you once more. Kyle hadn't anticipated making a fool of himself in front of you "No."
"Please?" You clasp your hands together like it's going to do something.
"You're friends with everyone on the volleyball team, ask one of them."
"I did and they have partners and I already put your name down to play," you suck a sharp breath through your teeth.
"Just find someone else," He dismisses and you were suddenly wishing you had knocked and avoided embarrassing him entirely. Not only was he naturally athletic but part of you just wanted to be partners with him.
"I'm actually really sorry for laughing at you, I'm learning empathy."
"You don't learn empathy, it's something you're born with."
"I'm defying the norms," You say "I swear to god I will never laugh at you again. You're right, it wasn't even that funny just a little, not a lot."
"Christ," He mutters, one hand pinching his nose bridge.
"You're the only person I trust to actually give it a shot. Please, Kyle?"
Kyle presses his lips into a thin line, rubbing the back of his neck. You can see the gears turning in his head. All he does for a minute is look at you with narrowing eyes before he finally speaks again "Okay, sure."
"Thanks," You smile brightly, opening the bathroom door and ushering Kyle out.
"When does it start?"
"Like three minutes," You shrug.
The two of you pass the door of Mr. Dubois's classroom where Cartman glares at you and Kyle "Kyle, get back here." Cartman pushes himself from his chair "We're in the middle of a campaign!"
"I don't fucking care!" You call back. When you notice Kyle pauses for the briefest moment to look into the room, you grab his wrist and pull him along. He seems a little taken aback but doesn't argue as you drag him through the hall even though he's perfectly capable of finding the gym without contact with you.
"Oh my god," Cartman utters, sitting himself back in his chair, a look of disbelief on his face. "First we lost Stan, now Kyle."
"And Kenny," Butters adds.
"And Kinny," Cartman repeats in solidarity.
"Are you straight edge now?" Kyle furrows his eyebrows as he reads the back of your t-shirt.
"No. God, why does everyone keep asking that?"
"Maybe because you're wearing a straight-edge shirt." He states the obvious.
"Oh shit, yeah," you turn back to briefly to face Kyle and crack a small smile.
You step onto the polished gym floor, the bright lights overhead casting a warm glow that reflects off the glossy surface. The chatter and laughter of other students echoed through the room.
The second you were noticed you were met with odd glances like you were dragging a corpse behind you. Everyone was already beginning to take their places for the tournament or finding a spot on the bleachers "Shit, hurry up, Goliath."
"Goliath?" He narrows his eyes at you as you begin to walk away.
"Dude, just get over here,"
Stan quirks an eyebrow, watching the two of you settle in the center of a court while Coach Dawsey barks out the rules of the tournament. "Alright, everyone, listen up!" Coach Dawsey's voice booms across the gym through the crackly microphone, immediately silencing the chatter. "Before we get started, I want to make sure everyone understands the rules for tonight's lock-in volleyball tournament."
You glance over at Kyle, who's focused on trying to decode whatever Stan is mouthing to him, his eyebrows are drawn in. You nudge him lightly, and he straightens up, shaking his head at Stan and turning his attention to the coach.
"First and foremost," Coach continues, "This is a friendly competition. Sportsmanship is key. No trash-talking or unsportsmanlike conduct will be tolerated unless I can't hear it. Understood?"
A chorus of "Yes, Coach" echoes around the gym.
"Good. Each match will be played to ten points, win by two. We're using rally scoring, so a point is scored on every serve. You all know your positions, but remember to rotate clockwise after winning the serve."
Kyle nudges you back, whispering, "You got all that?"
You shoot him a look but can't suppress a small smile. Coach Thompson's eyes narrow in on the two of you, and you quickly return your attention to him.
"Communication is crucial," Coach emphasizes. "Call for the ball, and make sure you cover your zones. Stay alert and work as a team."
You nod, glancing around at your teammates. Their faces reflect a mixture of determination and nerves, but there's also a spark of excitement. You catch Kyle's eye again, and this time he gives you a serious nod, signalling that he's ready to contribute.
"Lastly," Coach Dawsey says, "Remember to have fun. This is about building teamwork and enjoying the game as well as winning, which is of the utmost importance. So erm, do your best out there."
With that, Coach blows the whistle, signalling the start of the tournament. Each of the four courts is split in two with two teams in each of the half courts. From the other side of the net Heather and Jenny stand, Jenny regards you with narrowed eyes "Isn't Andrew your partner?"
"What the fuck, no," You huff a laugh like the accusation was ridiculous. Jenny looks at the bracket scrawled across the whiteboard for confirmation.
The referee signals the start of the match, and the first serve comes sailing over the net from the opposing team. You spring into action, bumping the ball up to Kyle, who's already moving into position.
"Kyle, yours!" you shout, setting the ball perfectly.
Kyle leaps into the air, his form impeccable, and smashes the ball over the net. It hits the ground just inside the line, scoring the first point for your team. In truth, you hadn't expected him to be so good, the last time you played volleyball with him, you were on a family camping trip and in a continuous loop of trying to beat each other. You can't help but grin.
"Nice spike," you say as Kyle jogs back.
"Thanks, Captain," he replies, a glint of amusement in his eyes.
The game quickly turns intense. Heather and Jenny are good, but you and Kyle find a rhythm, communicating effectively and covering the court with dexterity. Kyle's spikes are powerful and precise, while your sets and saves keep the ball in play.
"Cover left!" you call as the ball comes over the net.
Kyle dives, saving it just before it hits the ground, and you quickly set it up for another attack. The back-and-forth rallies are exhilarating, each point hard-earned. Despite the competitive edge, there's a surprising synergy between you and Kyle.
As the score nears the winning point, tension mounts. It's 14-13, and you need one more point to secure the win. The opposing team serves, and the ball comes at you fast. You manage a perfect pass to Kyle.
"Yours!" you shout, adrenaline pumping.
Kyle takes to the air, his spike aimed with an almost lethal precision. The ball slams down on the opponent's side, untouched. The final point is yours. A few of your friends on the bleachers give you little cheers as the whistle blows, signalling the end of the match.
You turn to Kyle, breathless but elated. "Good shit, man."
"Thanks," He grins.
With the thrill of your first win still buzzing, you and Kyle barely have time to catch your breath before the second match is called. The gym seems even more charged now, the energy from the first game amplifying the anticipation for what's to come.
Coach Dawsey gives you both a thumbs-up from the sidelines as you step onto the court for your next match. This time, you were against Jason and Daniel. You knew Daniel was on the volleyball team, you had seen him a handful of times and he was good but you couldn't speak for Jason who seemed much more out of place than his friend. You glance at Kyle, who glances back at you.
"You good?" you ask, a competitive gleam in your eye.
Kyle gives you a little thumbs up, one hand resting on his hip. The two of you watch as your names are moved up the brackets on the whiteboard while Heather and Jenny's get erased.
The referee blows the whistle, and the game begins. The first serve from the opposing team rockets over the net. You move quickly, receiving the ball and passing it to Kyle. He leaps and spikes it down hard, but the other team manages a quick save, returning the ball with a strong hit.
"Got it!" you call, diving to keep the ball in play. You manage to pass it back to Kyle, who sets up for another spike. This time, the ball hits the ground just inside the line, scoring the first point for your team.
The match is fast-paced, the ball flying back and forth as both teams fight for dominance. You dig, set, and spike with precision, each point driving you a little more.
At one point, the score is tied at 8-8, and the tension is palpable. The opposing team serves, and you receive the ball, setting it perfectly for Kyle. He slams it over the net, but the other team is ready, sending it back with equal force.
You dive to save it, barely managing to keep it in play. "Kyle, heads up!" you shout, scrambling to your feet.
Kyle jumps, twisting in mid-air to adjust his spike. The ball flies over the net, too quickly for the opponents to react. It hits the floor. This was the part of Kyle that you admired, the competitive nature and the drive, on occasion the hot-headed insults even though you spat them right back at him.
As the match progresses, you both dig deep, pushing through the fatigue. The score inches up, point by point, each one harder to earn than the last. Daniel is relentless, but so are you and Kyle.
Finally, it's match point. The score is 14-13, and you have the serve. You take a deep breath, focusing on the target. The ball leaves your hand, sailing over the net. The opponents scramble to return it, but Kyle is already in position.
He jumps high, timing his spike perfectly. The ball slams into the floor on the other side of the net, and for a moment, there's stunned silence. You turn to Kyle, a huge grin on your face, almost vibrating with excitement.
For a brief moment, he catches himself smiling at you, the thought that an act as simple as hitting a ball over a net would make you so happy when he had seen you surrounded by everyone you've ever known with a cake in front of you and still frown.
"Got a couple more rounds in you?" You ask.
"What did you just say?"
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When the match ended you had settled back into your separate groups on the bleachers and pretended that you weren't sneaking glances at his little group while you were looking at Wendy. What had really been grating you was that the doors of the school had been locked as per the name of the event, this meant that there wasn't anywhere to smoke without getting caught and you were increasingly growing desperate for that nicotine buzz, so much so that you had chewed you lip until the taste of iron flooded your mouth.
"You don't like Miles anymore?" Nichole looks towards Lola with furrowed eyebrows. Last week she wouldn't stop talking about him.
"What?" This was news to Annie "Why?"
Lola shrugs "Because he's weird, he's an asshole."
"What did he do?" Heidi asked. Everyone paid their full attention to Lola who seemed to squirm a little more with every pair of eyes on her.
"Nothing, he's just, I dunno- he's a dick."
You and Red share a look, this was code for Lola liked him a lot and he didn't return the feelings.
"Where did Wendy go?" You ask abruptly, noticing the disappearance of the girl and glancing around the gym for her.
Nellie sucks a sharp breath through her teeth, quickly looking to Lola for unspoken confirmation if she should say or not "She's with Bebe and Jenny."
"Oh, okay," You say and silence falls over the group, waiting for a bigger reaction. "I don't really care."
"It's okay," Annie nods and places a hand on your shoulder.
"Yeah, I know?"
"Yeah," Lola draws out slowly.
"Um," You brush Annie's gentle hand off and push yourself to your feet "I need to ask Kenny something, I'll be right back."
Feeling more awkward than you should've, you walked over to the group of boys enamoured in what was seemingly a deep discussion until you heard a snippet of the conversation "You're saying that if you could only eat one animal for the rest of your life it would be fish?" Kenny asks with quirked eyebrows and a slightly wrinkled nose.
"Yeah," Kyle says with a knit brow, not understanding why the boys seemed so disapproving.
"Dude, he said animal not sea creature," Cartman says bluntly.
"A fish is an animal."
"Don't start," Cartman's voice is accusatory, you can see him getting riled up already.
"I'm not starting, a fish is an animal," Kyle retorts.
"I'm talking animal-animal."
"And I'm saying fish-fish."
"That's like saying ant, that's not an animal." His face is flushed a stark contrast to the pale, blindingly bright lights overhead.
"Ants are animals, they're arthropods," Kyle's voice raises just the slightest.
Cartman huffs laugh "No they are not, fish and ants are not animals that's like saying bugs and insects are animals."
"Cartman, you are in AP biology," Tolkien throws in as a reminder.
"Yeah, that's how I know what I'm talking about."
"We are in the same class," Kyle says slowly to be sure that it sinks in.
"At least one of us was paying attention."
"A fish is an animal."
"Yeah alright buddy, you don't go to the zoo and see fish hanging around. There aren't zoo fishes."
"There's actually so many fish at zoos-
"There's fish zoos?" Cydle abruptly cuts him off, voice raising "You go to fish zoos?"
Kyle regains himself "There's so many fish at zoos that they have their own attraction called an aquarium."
Cartman shakes his head "Nope, not the same thing, that's for sharks and shit."
"Yeah, for fish."
"A shark is not a fish," Cartman starts laughing. "And an animal is something with paws and shit."
"Is a lizard an animal?"
"No, it's an insect."
"Jesus Christ," You mutter "Cartman, what's a reptile?"
"What's a human?" Cylde asks "Are we animals?
"They are literally classified as Cartilaginous fishes," Kyle ignore Cylde, his jaw is clenched tight and it's easy to tell that such an idiotic argument is grinding at his skull.
"Define fish," Cartman leans back and crosses his arms, waiting for the answer.
"You did not just say that," Kyle deadpans.
"Define fish," He says again.
"You define fish," Kyle almost spits with how fast he's speaking.
"Aquatic."
"Aquatic what?!”
"Aquatic creatures."
"So by your definition, fish are aquatic creatures but a shark isn't a fish?" Kyle asks. The vein in his forehead became so prominent you thought it might burst.
"Please tell me how a shark is a fish," Cartman tilts himself forward, closer to Kyle "Tell me what a fish is."
"They're aquatic vertebrate animals that have gills but lack limbs."
"So I was right."
"No, you aren't, lobsters are aquatic creatures, do you think they're fish?" Kyle asks and Cartman falls silent "Cartman, lobsters are not fish."
"Then what are they?"
"They're a sub-group called decapoda in the malacostracans class but they also classify as phylum Arthropoda."
"I thought they were Crustacea?" Stan chimes in for the first time since you came over.
"They are," Kyle glances back at him then to you then back to Cartman.
"So then how are they all that other stuff you just said?" Cartman asks this like he's finally got Kyle in a corner.
"Because animals are classified under taxonomic categories."
"What is that?"
"Oh my fucking god," Kyle runs his hands down his face.
"Hey, Ken," You put one hand on his bicep and leaned in to whisper into his ear "Do you have any Zyn?"
He turns to face you, looking down at your choice of clothing "There is no way you're in a straight-edge shirt and you're asking me for Zyn."
"Do you though?" With a sly smile, you straightened your posture.
He ran a hand through his shaggy blonde hair, cut into a mullet "Pretty sure I left it in my car,"
"Fuck," Your face drops immediately, unintentionally forming into something of a pout for the first time in what must've been years.
"If you come with me we can grab it."
"Erm, I'm pretty sure all of the doors are bolted closed." You raise a brow, hand still absentmindedly resting on his arm.
"Don't worry about it," He waves you off. "But what do I get in return?"
"How about my undying gratitude?" You offered, your tone laced with mock seriousness.
"Oh, word?" He cracks a grin "I'll be back in a minute," Kenny addresses the group.
"Cool," Stan doesn't even look up at him but Kyle's eyes are trained on the way your fingers trail Kenny's arm, the touch light but lingering as you begin to walk away.
Kenny's beaten-up sneakers squeaked as the two of you crossed the polished hardwood floors of the gym and made your way into the somehow even brighter hallway "So what are your plans for the summer?"
"Mostly working I guess, I haven't made any plans so I guess I'll just figure it out as I go." You really hadn't thought about it. You knew that your parents planned a trip to Mexico to which you and Weston were not invited so the only thing that had come close to a plan in your mind was the thought crossing that you would take Weston on a camping trip while your parents were away.
"Same over here," He shoves his hands into the pockets of his hoodie "You still working at that restaurant?"
"Yeah, you still working at that gas station?" It had been a hot minute since the last time you had really talked to Kenny and with that simple question, you were beginning to feel guilt pile onto your shoulders.
"Yup, been thinking about picking up a second job for the summer, got nothing better to do."
"Oh, you should apply at my work, I know we're hiring prep and dishwashers," You peeped up. It would make your summer just a little better if you got to work with Kenny. Even if you weren't anywhere near to how close you used to be, it might make those tiring serving shifts covered in steak sauce, garlic butter, and tears just a little better.
"For real? Maybe I will."
You had always thought Kenny was handsome in a scrappy way like a stray dog, it was his disjointed manner that made him so endearing. "So how are we leaving the school?"
He tilted his head, gesturing for you to turn down the hallways with him "There's an emergency entrance in the woodshop but you need to stay by the door and keep it open because it'll lock me out."
"Sweet," You smile up at him, the thought of a nicotine pouch resting on your gums brought you a little bit closer to satisfaction. "We should hang out soon, it's been a while."
"Jeez, I guess it has, a month is kinda long for us or has it been longer."
"I dunno, I lost track," You narrow your eyes, trying to think of the last time you had been with him one-on-one.
He acknowledges this with a hum "There's something I had to grab from my car at some point tonight anyways so this kinda works out."
"What is it?"
"You'll see," He shrugs.
"Kenny, what is it?" Your stomach drops a little bit. Whenever he was cryptic like this you knew there was something in the works within his brain.
"Don't worry," Kenny brushes you off, seemingly unbothered as he usually was.
"Dude, I'm worried."
"Okay, well I think the Zyn will help you with that," He jiggles the handle to the wood shop and holds it open for you.
Immediately you're greeted with the smell of woodchips and little particles of sawdust finding their way into your eyes, you clamp them shut and squeeze until the burning goes away. There isn't a single person inside, you didn't really expect the dusty woodshop to be a popular place to hang out during a lock-in.
"Don't make this a regular thing, I don't wanna see you abusing nicotine."
"I love nicotine, I would never abuse it," You reach for the phone in your pocket to turn on the flash. You wanted to be as discreet as possible, Kenny quietly shut the door behind the both of you.
The woodshop was eery in the darkness, it felt like you were in a horror movie where something would crawl out from beneath the table saw and maul you into a bloody mass of flesh pulsing on the floor.
"This shit is creepy," Kenny muttered, voicing your thoughts.
"I fucking know," You answer, "You think this is where Jigsaw makes his death traps?"
"Oh, definitely."
Kenny had a hand on your back to guide you to the exit door after you had almost knocked over a shelf of students' unfinished projects. Finally, you saw the exit sign hanging above a grey door, illuminated by your flash.
"Okay, just hold the door open but if anyone comes in, shut it and text me when they leave," Kenny yanks it open and the cold air hits you, forcing a shiver out of you.
"Just be quick, please," You take a spot standing in front of the heavy door while you watch Kenny jog away and disappear into the darkness. Kenny's car was what was referred to as a shit box. Every moment you spent in it you just kept thinking 'Okay, now it's going to give out' but it proved you wrong by pushing through with every rusted turn of the wheels.
His car was at the front of the school while you were stationed beside it, arms hugging yourself as the straight-edge t-shirt wasn't helping much to protect you from the cool night that hung on the other side of the doorframe.
Every passing second that Kenny was out of sight you grew just a little more concerned, constantly glancing back at the door of the woodshop. All of the blades and intricate machines seemed menacing when the only light that gleamed off the razor-sharp edges came from your phone.
"Keep the door open!" You hear Kenny's voice off in the distance.
You squint at the dark silhouette that is coming towards you full throttle with something being carried in front of him "Ken, what is that?" As his figure gets closer you can see the item he's holding is moving and squirming in his grip "What the fuck is that?"
The second Kenny steps foot inside you back away from him and let the door lock. He has a huge smile on his face while holding a raccoon underneath its armpits, his bottom half swaying slightly with every movement.
"That was the thing you had in your car?!" You can't help but shout, face contorted in horror at how easy-going Kenny was about holding a wild animal.
He grins mischievously. "Thought it'd be funny to let this little guy have a stroll, he's chill, he'll probably just walk around. Just a harmless prank."
Before you can protest, he loses his grip, and the raccoon drops to the ground with a thud. For a split second, it looks stunned. Then it bares its teeth, hissing angrily. Panic sets in as the raccoon charges toward you both.
"Fuck!" You shot away, weaving through the rows of workbenches and tools, careless not to knock anything over. You kept looking back at the feral animal charging you, bumping down projects and bottles of wood-blinding glue.
It was moments like these when you were glad that you ran track, not that you had ever been pursued by a feral animal before. You had started track initially to be sure you could run in a zombie apocalypse scenario and this was similar enough.
You throw the door to the woodshop open, Kenny follows behind you, regret obvious on his face. The hallways echo with the sound of your footsteps and the angry chittering of the raccoon. You glance back to see it gaining on you, its eyes glinting in the dim light.
Kenny splits down another hallway while you keep running straight, the raccoon chooses to follow you. There isn't anyone in the halls, all you can hear is the chatter within the classrooms. While you were sure you could fight a raccoon, you didn't want to risk the chance that it could bite you and you would forever be the girl who got rabies from a raccoon.
Kyle casually walks down the hallway in your direction, waving when he spots you "Why are you running?"
"Fucking run!" You shout gesturing for him to move in the other direction. He doesn't fight you on this, instead running next to you, trying to decode why you were frantically shifting your gaze all over the place.
"What's going on?" He asks, confusion clear across his face.
You ignore him, eyes catching on a classroom door which is slightly ajar, you snatch his hand and make a B-line for the class, yanking him in after you and shutting the door. You run your hands down your face, chest rising and falling with every shaky breath.
"Is there a shooter?"
"No," you say "It's a raccoon."
Any worry on his face drops immediately "Be serious for a minute."
"I'm so serious Kyle and that thing is insane, it's out for blood."
"Did it bite you or something?"
You yank out a chair from beneath a desk and plop yourself down in it "No and thank god." A scream sounds from somewhere down the hallway and Kyle's eyes widen "We gotta let them fend for themselves, don't be a hero."
"I wasn't planning on breaking any doors down and fighting a raccoon," He retorts "How did it even get inside?"
"Pfft, I wouldn't know man," You shake your head, making forceful eye contact.
"You let it in?"
"Kenny did."
"Mother fucker," he mutters. "That asshole."
"It's really not that big of a deal," You cross your arms and lean back in the chair, quick to defend Kenny even though you weren't thrilled about a wild animal set loose in the school you would pretend to be for his sake.
Kyle turns to face, jaw clenching tightly and you already regret your words "It's not that big of a deal?"
"Yeah," You say, firmly "It's really not."
His voice steadies, the rise of anger ringing clear in his tone  "Do you have any idea how many people could be hurt because of this?"
"It's fucking funny, Kyle," You exasperate, standing up from the chair and taking a stride toward him.
"How is this funny?"
"It's a raccoon that terrorizes a school, how is that not funny?"
"What if it had rabies?" 
"Kyle, that's life. Sometimes a raccoon is gonna break into a school and attack teenagers," You try to sound nonchalant but there's agitation clinging to your words "Life ain't all cookies and cream, lil fella."
"Do not ever call me lil fella."
"Sorry, lil fella," You shrug.
"Don't act like you weren't shaking in fear two minutes ago."
"I was and two minutes later it's hilarious, I would be laughing my ass off right now if you weren't about to punch a wall."
"I'm not going to punch a wall," Kyle sneered. 
"Are you gonna make a TikTok about it then?" 
"Jesus fucking Christ," He uttered looking away from you. 
"Acting like you've never done stupid shit before," You spit, moving closer until you're inches away from him. You felt that familiar surge of anger catching fire in your lungs, one that was sure to never be smothered "Pulling the fire alarm, punching Stan, taping porno magazines on Mr. Garrison's car-
"Those were ages ago," He cuts you off "At least some of us actually grew up."
"It's a fucking raccoon!" You throw your hands up in the air "And you're seventeen, you should think this is funny because it is and one day you're going to be an old wrinkly boney fuck with rotten testicles and wish that you revelled in this a little more."
"You aren't listening," His voice raises. Every few moments, he runs a hand through his hair in a quick, jerky motion, adding to the sense of barely contained rage.
He was right, you weren't listening. Kyle was hastily spitting out words while you just stared at him like his words were muffled to your ears. His arms are crossed tightly over his chest, muscles tensed with barely contained frustration. His brows are furrowed deeply, casting a shadow over his narrowed eyes that stay trained on your face. His jaw is clenched so tightly that a muscle twitches in his cheek, and his lips are pressed into a thin, hard line.
The sleeves of his hoodie are rolled up and you can see the veins and the muscles flexing. His face was almost flushed red with rage, for the first time you had noticed the light dusting of freckles spread over his nose. You remembered him having them as a kid, they came around in the summer when he would spend hours in the sports court and chasing his friends through the woods. His face was spotted like a fawn, though they dwindled with age they always got dark after he bathed in sunlight. 
"What?" He snaps, breaking your immersion "Are you going to say something?"
"Your freckles are coming in."
"What?" His eyebrows draw together even further. "What are you-
He is cut off by a sudden, sound of a heavy thump and metal hitting the linoleum and clattering in its place. You turn towards the sound and see that the vent covering has fallen off and something dark scuttles across the ground, catching only glimpses of it between rows and rows of desks. "Holy shit, it found me!" Without warning, the raccoon crashes against a desk with a ferocious growl, causing you to scream. Acting purely on instinct, you leap towards Kyle, wrapping your arms around him in a desperate bid for safety. His eyes widen in surprise, and for a moment, his anger is replaced by shock as he catches you. "What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck."
"What are you doing?" he exclaims, but his voice is less harsh than before, more surprised than angry though the irritation still hangs in his tone.
"I don't want to look at it," You squeeze your eyes shut and bury your face into Kyle's collarbone. "This is gonna be really funny in a week but I'm actually really fucking scared right now."
Kyle has one protective arm over your midriff as he leans forward the slightest to look at the raccoon that stands between the pair of you and the door. The raccoon hisses and bares its teeth at you, slobber foaming around its mouth "It has rabies," He says, backing away "It actually has rabies."
"Fuck!" You shout, breaking away from Kyle and trying to scramble onto a desk, so panicked your legs keep slipping until Kyle lifts you by your waist until your feet are flat on the surface and hops on a desk himself. "What the fuck do we do?"
The raccoon circled around the door, staggering like it had just drunk a forty. You fumbled for your phone in your pocket, looking up what to do when you encounter an animal with rabies. "What are you doing?"
"Okay, um, Reddit says to shoot it dead, bag it, and burn it," you look over at Kyle.
"Do you have a gun in your pocket?" He says with an antsy sarcasm.
"No."
"Well, that's super helpful, thank you," His face flat and voice mocking. 
"Not the time to be an asshole," As the raccoon snarls and regains its footing, you fumble for your phone, your hands shaking. "I'm calling the police," you tell Kyle, your voice trembling with a mix of fear and adrenaline.
Kyle nods, his eyes never leaving the raccoon. "Fucking hurry."
With trembling fingers, you dial 911, praying for a quick response. The raccoon begins to inch closer, its eyes locked onto you. "911, what's your emergency?" comes the operator's voice.
"We're trapped in a classroom with a rabid raccoon at Park County High," you say, your voice cracking. "It's really fucking gross looking like it's covered in mud and it had matted fur and shit." You shudder as it nears you "And it's pretty fucking fat, it jiggles when it walks."
"Okay, ma'am, I need you to stay calm," the operator replies, her voice steady and professional. "Can you confirm your location one more time?"
"Park County High, room 112," You wrinkle your nose as it begins to sniff up the desk you standing on "Its hands are dirty as shit, probably from being greedy and eating too much."
The operator starts to ask for details, but the raccoon lunges forward, coming dangerously close. Panic surges through you. Without thinking, you scream and hurl your phone at the animal. The device smacks the raccoon on the head, causing it to stumble and momentarily back off. Upon impact, your phone shatter, the screen glitching with colour before going black completely. 
The raccoon stumbles for a second before hissing and lunging at your ankles again. You retract your feet, trying not to tip onto the ground. You can tell the raccoon is charging up to attempt another jump onto the desk, you leap down in a moment of panic and kick the desk into it. The desk drops to its side and squashes the raccoon which lets out a yelp before squirming it's way out.
You ran to the front of the class grabbing any stray books off of desks and chucking them at the raccoon. Snatching the metre stick from the spot where it rested against the whiteboard, you begin to swat at the raccoon "I actually will not survive if I get rabies," Your voice shakes with every word.
"Yeah, no shit!" Kyle retorts, his hands flying arounf frantically and his mind paniced to do something. 
The metre stick only seems to make the raccoon more angry  "This feels like animal abuse!"
"It is!"
"Should I stop?"
"Do you want rabies?"
"No."
"Then no!" Kyle climbs down from his desk and frantically looks around for something to throw at the raccoon, he grabs a thick textbook from the teacher's desk and throws it down at the rabid creature. It squeaks, staggers, and snaps its jaws, ignoring Kyle and staying focused on you.
"Kyle, open the door!" You shout, prodding at the raccoon in a feeble attempt to keep it away from your flesh. 
He jiggles the handle to no avail, it doesn't budge. There's nothing but a familiar snigger on the only side of the door. "Cartman, open the door!" 
"If you pay me twenty bucks right now." His irritating voice answers. 
"What? I don't have money on me." He lifted the little shade that covered the glass panel on the door and of course, there was the back of Cartman's head.
"You're Jewish, that's impossible."
"I'll fucking Paypal you the money just open the door," Kyle's voice rises with every word. 
"Jewrat, I know you have your little gold pouch on you."
"Did you put the fucking raccoon in the vent?" 
"That depends," His voice is as smug as ever.
"I'm gonna kick your teeth in!" He slams his body against the door but Cartman is without question the heavier one leaning on the other side.  "Open the door!" 
"Is it ethical to kill it?" You crawl on top of the teacher's desk, kicking random items down every time the raccoon attempts to jump. It hits the creature's head with a little thud though it's only stunned for a moment before it goes back to attacking like it shot up some kind of drug.
“That doesn’t really matter,” Kyle does a run against the door, it looks like it's going to cave inward.
You had run out of supplies to knock on the raccoon's head, it grabbed hold of your shoe, getting more agitated with every attempt to shake it off. "Fuck, fuck, shitballs, fucking cunt licker!"
In mere seconds Kyle grabs a chair by its legs and bashes down onto the raccoon which claws into your shoes in an attempt to stay on you but the force of the chair brought it barrelling to the ground. It twitches under the chair, ragged breathes and squeals. "Did it bite you?" 
You shake your head, a hand slapped over your mouth as you look down at the animal writing below. "Where the fuck are the police?" You scream. Kyle helps you down from the desk and you immediately spring towards the door, banging on it with all of your force "Eric, open the door or I'm gonna throw rocks through your window, you dumb whore!" 
"Tell the jew to slide a bill under the floor," He says nonchalantly. Through the glass panel on the door, you can hardly see the rest of the hallway past Cartman's head which appears to be vacant. You turn back to Kyle who throws his hands up in exasperation then look to where the raccoon begins to stir on the floor and find its footing. 
"I'm going to ask one more time, open the fucking door," You try to keep your voice as still as possible despite shaking with rage and biting the inside of your mouth so hard that blood mixes with your saliva.
"I'm going to ask one more time, tell Kyle to-
You ball your hand into a fist and rear your elbow out, connecting your knuckles to the glass panel that was once separating the two of you from Cartman. It shatters on impact, sending a spiderweb of cracks radiating outwards. The sound of breaking glass fills the room, echoing off the walls. You reach your other arm through broken glass and wrap your hands around Cartman's pudgy neck.
The panic is evident, his hand moving quickly to try and pry your hands away from him. You refuse to let go, holding him against the door despite his choking sputters and the urgent tapping over your hands. 
"Open the fucking door!" You shout again, wringing Cartman's neck like a soaked towel, ignoring the little shards of glass stuck in your hands and the jagged edges of the frame cutting up your forearm. You were a lot less scared of Cartman than you were of the raccoon carrying a deadly illness.
He coughs, each breath becoming shallower and more desperate than the last. His hand fumbles for the door handle and the second you see the light from the hallway spill through a crack, you let go of Cartman and slam your body on the door which finally lets out.
You stumble through the door and into the hallway, watching your shaking hand engrained with little shards of class. Cartman's breathing heavily against a wall, his face the brightest shade of red you had ever seen on a human.
Kyle walks through, eyes wide and brows furrowed at the sight before him.  He looks at you, shutting the door behind him "Is it funny now?"
"Kinda actually, yeah."
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zorosprincess · 1 day
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When vs If
PAIRING - Oikawa Tooru x Reader WC - 3.1K GENRE - Angst SYNOPSIS - You said 'if', when did it stop being 'when'?
PREV PART | MASTERLIST | NEXT PART
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You had convinced yourself that you were overreacting. Nothing was wrong. You were being paranoid based off of past experiences. You had convinced yourself, or he had convinced you. You were imagining it when you thought he was acting like something had been bothering him.
You were only being insecure every time you asked, just to make sure, when he was acting like something was wrong, when he swore nothing was wrong and he was just tired. "Are you going to break up with me?"
Tooru had convinced you that you were overreacting when he always replied with the same answer. "Of course not baby, you're never going to get rid of me. I'm here to annoy you for the rest of our lives."
He convinced you to ignore the gut feeling you had about it. Just three days ago, when you were driving to look at apartments, he brought up just building yourselves a house, just like how you wanted to. Told you that eventually, when you moved cities, it could become a summer vacation home and they could build another to raise your kids in.
He convinced you when he talked to his family, telling his nephew about how you were an addition to the family. When his family praised you for taking care of him.
You always took care of him. More than he asked.
You packed him lunches and made breakfasts and dinners. You made sure the laundry was done and tried to clean. You made sure to remind him to take care of himself too, to not overstress himself the exact way you did.
Every time you crashed down and thought that maybe your love was overbearing, that you didn't get the same reciprocation. Every time you asked "are you going to break up with me," he assured you that he wouldn't. He'd pepper your cheeks with kisses and hold you while you sniffled back your tears.
Ending college was hard. There were so many unknowns. Finishing up the last project of the year was infinitely harder. You were way past your deadline for it but you had an indefinite extension. The only limit was the one you put on yourself, getting it in by the end of summer.
The concern of where you would live the next year only added to it. You and Tooru's original decision of no roommates had morphed into him slowly trying to push the idea of sharing a space. A last resort, he called it.
You worked two jobs trying to prepare to move, trying to avoid the stress of thinking about it. To make sure that you had enough money for the new place. So once you got there, there would be no more worries.
Today was the end to a long week. Sunday. Your last shift until the next Monday. You'd agreed with T0oru to take the whole week off to pack your house and move into a storage unit. You were both supposed to crash at Makki and Mattsun's until you'd heard back from the complex you were putting an application into tomorrow.
You were off by 3pm, your boss having let you off early so that you could go home and start packing. You'd lost track of time since then, a show playing in the background as you packed all the clothes that you wouldn't need for the next three weeks (just to be sure).
It was almost 8 before you decided on a small break. Almost 8 until you realized that you hadn't heard from Tooru all day. The only thing bringing this to your attention now, was his name finally popping up on your phone
He was supposed to be off at 8:30. Just 30 more minutes before he would be coming home and you could make your official plan about how to tackle the upcoming week and everything else moving forward.
He'd sent you a snapchat with a filter on, little horns coming out of his brown curls and a silly look on his face, tongue poking out at you. You'd laughed and sent one back quickly. Silly pictures sent back and forth and only a small bit of conversation as you waited for him to be finished at work. 'How was your day today?' 'Long.' 'Yeah, me too. I'm so exhausted.'
It was finally time for him to be off, you could tell by the way that the scenery behind him changed from inside the gym to the open sky of the parking lot. You decided to ask if he wanted to get the food you'd been craving.
From y/n <3: How do you feel about getting pizza when you come home?
That was when the dreaded text came in. The worst thing you could say to an overthinker.
From Royal Pain <3: Okay. I just want to talk to you about something first.
Your heart stopped in your chest. Sudden pressure, tightness winding from your heart and consuming your lungs.
From y/n <3: About what? Should I be anxious?
He took too long to open it and the bubbling anxiety forced you to hit call on his number. You were greeted with the rumble of his car engine when he picked up. "Should I be anxious?" You repeated the question out loud and he sighed.
"No, no sorry." He apologizes and sighs again. "I know that was suck wording, I just wanted to sit down and have a conversation about some things."
You could hear the tightness in your voice, like your anxiety circled each word as you spoke. "Okay, what things?"
"Love, I'm gonna be home in like 5 minutes and we'll talk."
Your legs moved on their own accord, lifting you off of your shared bed and taking you downstairs as he spoke, your need to pace arising. Pace to get out all the anxiety that built inside you.
You didn't want to push him. "Okay, I love you, Tooru."
"Love you too, I'll be right there."
You found yourself in the garage, carried by your feet subconsciously. You'd tucked yourself safely into the little corner of the couch you and your roommates had kept in there. Brought your knees to your chest and covered yourself in a blanket.
You were trying to will your anxiety to stop. He promised he wasn't leaving. He just wants to talk.
"What are you doing out here?" Tooru asked when he found you after looking through the house. "I thought you'd be in our room."
"I had anxiety and just kinda ended up here." You mumbled and he nodded in return. You waited for him to sit next to you. He didn't. He stayed standing. "Tooru, can you please tell me what's up?"
He took a deep sigh before starting. "There's a few things that have been bothering me about our relationship and I just want to try and talk them out before I keep bottling them up. Before they get so bad that they aren't fixable anymore."
You felt the anxiety building up even more and you winced. You had been doing something wrong. Like always. And then there was a quick rush of anger.
He had said 'keep bottling them up.'
He had sat there and convinced you that you'd been imagining it. He had convinced you that the gut feeling you had about something being wrong with him was fucking incorrect.
You wanted to scream. All you did was whisper. "Okay."
He listed out his reasons and you tried to stay quiet. You tried to listen. To look at him. But every time you looked at him you could see him breaking your heart a million times. You couldn't hold the contract for very long.
You were trying to not cry. You were trying to explain yourself when he said there was something you did. You were apologizing. Apologies formed in the frame of: 'I'm sorry.' 'I didn't realize I-' 'I did it because..."
You never got to finish your reasons with another "I'm sorry if I hurt you." You were trying to get there but he always cut you off.
"I don't get why you have to argue with me." He exclaimed the last time he cuts you off. You pause. Was that what you were doing? Had you been arguing? "I'm just trying to tell you what's wrong so we can fix it."
"I'm not trying to argue!" You defended yourself. "I was just explaining why I did it so you could see where I was coming from." You wiped your palms against your cheeks in frustration, trying desperately to keep the tears back.
"It's easier to fix if we get where the other is coming from, we can find somewhere to meet in the middle." You whimpered at the eyeroll you knew he'd done subconsciously. "Please, this is hard for me. It feels like you're breaking up with me."
He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, shaking out some of his curls. "I'm not breaking up with you. I told you that." The words should have been comforting, but something about them made you more on edge. The tone in which he said them. Exasperation.
"Yeah," you scoffed, your anger getting a hold on you a little more, trying to protect yourself, "you also told me, repeatedly, that nothing was wrong." His eyes snapped back to you but you quickly looked away. The second that he looked at you softly, you would do anything he asked. You would lose yourself. Lose your will to fight for yourself to be heard.
"Now here you are, telling me that you were lying to me." You could feel a tear escape and you quickly brushed it away before he could take it in. "How do I know you were telling the truth every time you said you weren't going to leave me?" It was harsh but it was the truth you needed to say.
"Why don't you believe me? Huh?" He was raising his voice, something he rarely did, especially at you. "Is it trust issues or what?" He spit the words out, like they tasted bad on his tongue and you could see him fling his arms in the air from the corner of your eye.
"You are always 'your tone of voice' and 'your body language says'... God! Can you not just believe me!" He ended it with a groan. Frustration or annoyance, you couldn't tell, maybe it was a mix of both.
"I'm sorry, I just pick up on the way you act and underlying tones, it's a bad habit, I'm trying to stop." You were trying to drag your eyes back to him. He was looking down at you, standing instead of sitting on the couch with you, shaking his head at your responses.
"You can't just believe me? I don't get your whole thing about tone and whatever. But if we get married one day-"
You cut him off quickly, your full attention going to look at his face, to see if he realized what he'd done. "What do you mean 'if'?"
"What?" Genuine confusion crossed his face as he looked back at you, confused at the wide-eyes look across your own face as you looked up at him. You knew that terror was visibly seeping into each of your features.
"You said, 'if we get married one day'."
"Yeah." He shrugged his shoulders in indifference. "And?"
"When did that become 'if'?" You asked the voice quietly, your voice barely rising to an audible level. You were afraid of the response. "Its always been 'when we get married', 'when we have kids', 'when'." He sighed and bit his lip out of what you assumed was his own nerves. "It's always been 'when' for me and I thought it was too. So when did 'when' become 'if'?"
"I don't know." He took a step back away from you, turning his body slightly away from you. It didn't go unnoticed by you. "A couple months ago?"
You scoffed in disbelief. A couple months. He'd been lying to you for a couple months. "Okay," you whispered, "you wanna know why I read into tone and body language?" You asked the question and he only rolled his eyes again. You didn't care, you kept talking.
"You just stepped away from me when you were talking about that. When you were talking about mentally changing the way you thought about us being together long term, you physically put distance between us. How am I supposed to take that?"
"You're not supposed to take it any way!" He exclaimed. "I got tired of standing without moving."
"Okay, why do you have to be standing, you can't put yourself on the same level as me. You have to be on a different level, to have all the control in this conversation. Like you've decided how this conversation ends."
"Oh my god!" He shouted, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "Stop fucking reading into everything!" He shook his head like he couldn't believe that he had to deal with this. to deal with me.
"You want to talk about body language? Then what the hell does it mean that you can't seem to look at me this entire conversation when all I've been doing is looking at you!"
"That I'm worried if I look at you I'll cry. That I don't want to cry because I know you need this off your chest and you'll blame yourself and stop if I cry." That if you look at him, at Oikawa Tooru, the man you decided was the love of your life, then you would see what you saw the very first day you met him and he gave you that saccharine smile. You would see him breaking you into a million pieces.
"Please just sit down." You whispered, begging him.
"Seriously?" He scoffed but collapsed on the other end of the couch. He sat closer the the front edge of the couch and leaned far back into the seat, a position that screamed about how he didn't care. "This is really better for you?"
You winced at the harshness of his tone. The condescension seeping through his words. He thought you were being ridiculous and he was making it clear. You hated it, but it was better than him standing and physically looking down at you.
"Yes." He sighs and shakes his head but stays silent. "Let's just talk through this and we can fix it. We can find a compromise." You swallowed hard trying to explain. You were trying the 'I'm going to stop doing...' It was fine for a little while. Until you started to ask for things in return too.
"I will try to stop raising my voice, I just need you to tell me I am. I don't realize it a lot, we have different views on yelling. I need you to tell me."
"I do!" He was rolling his eyes but staring straight ahead, no longer at you. "I say, 'why are we yelling?' is that not telling you that you're yelling?"
"That's not what I mean, I can't tell you why, I don't understand it, but it doesn't click for me. It makes me think you're talking down to me and I know you don't mean to. I just need you to tell me 'y/n you are yelling right now'."
He puffed air out of his nose, hands running through his hair again. "That doesn't fucking make sense. I don't understand how your brain works." You could feel the tightening in your chest becoming overwhelming. You didn't understand it either. "Whatever. Fine."
"Could you help me around the house too? I know I've been slacking on some of the chores like groceries and laundry, but I need help. You only ever get groceries if I'm already going and even then, sometimes you don't come. And I always do your laundry too but you only ever do yours unless I ask you specifically."
They were small things to you, things you didn't mind doing, but you knew you needed help. And if you were attempting to change for him you needed something back. Something to help you ease up on your stress.
It went on for a little longer, what you thought were minor requests being met with annoyance and hesitation. Until he stopped responding all together. It was like you could see it happening, him disengaging, the gears slowing down in his head as they settled on a solution.
"Please talk to me." You begged for it. You couldn't let him get caught in his head. "Don't go quiet. Tell me what you're thinking." Your voice was quiet and wet, tears threatening to spill more than they already had. "I know you're getting in your head. I can see it happening."
He shook his head softly, no eye roll paired with it this time, no irritation at you. He was staring blankly at the wall in front of you both, his fingers rubbing into his temple. "I'm trying to decide if this is even worth it."
You froze in place, your body turning into a statue, watching your world crumbling around you. "What?"
"I don't know if this is worth it." He said it plainly. It was just a fact. No emotions attached to it. You were pretty sure that you could physically feel your heart tearing in your chest. "Is this even something worth fixing? Is it worth the effort?"
"What do you mean?" You squeaked out the words. This had to be a nightmare. You were sure of it. "Of course it's worth it to try. It's us. Years of us, of course it's worth trying." You were sure you would wake up in the morning and it would have never happened.
"Tooru, look at me please." He turned his head slowly, an apologetic look in his eyes. You would wake up and this would've been a scene your anxiety created in your head. "Tooru, are you breaking up with me?" You would open your eyes and still be waiting for him to come home from work.
His eyes looked glossy, but he nodded his head. "I'm so sorry."
All of the times you thought about it. All the times you had thought 'if he breaks up with me,' you had never thought 'when he breaks up with me'.
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a/n thanks for coming to the free therapy of fictionalizing my irl breakup experiences. and yes. this was the actual way it happened
TAGLIST - OPEN @all-in-the-fandoms @pearl-blue-musings
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onadarklingplain · 5 months
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George drunk calling Alex on NYE after singing ABBA with the lads gives him a semi…compelling
Alex can hear the beat of the music when he answers the phone, but it’s muffled, like George has found somewhere quiet to tuck himself away. It’s muted enough that Alex can only just hear it over the sound of — the panting sound of George’s breath, the hitch in his throat when he realises that Alex has picked up.
“You okay, George?” he asks carefully. “It’s not even midnight, you can't be knackered yet.”
“No, Alex,” George says immediately, words spilling down the phone. “No, it’s. I’m.”
He’s had a bit to drink, Alex can tell. He’s stumbling over his words, but without any hesitation, like his brain just can’t keep up with whatever it is he wants. Alex isn’t surprised — he’s probably been pissed since his New Year’s brunch with Cara, the pleasant kind of buzz that can stretch out for long, languid hours. Alex bites his cheek to stop from smiling at the thought, even though he’s alone in his hotel room in Grove. He shouldn’t feel so embarrassed about it. It isn’t like Rick fucking Astley, on mute on the oversized television, is suddenly going to stop talking rubbish about the fireworks display, look out from the screen and start taking the mick out of him instead.
“You a bit bladdered?” he asks. “You didn’t go and leave the lads alone on the dance floor, did you? Tsk tsk, Georgie.”
George breathes in sharply again, like Alex has caught him in something. “No,” George says immediately, guilty. “I mean, yes. I’m in the loos. It’s — Alex.”
“Spit it out,” Alex says, but he knows that tone of voice. He thinks about George calling him from some dark stall, hair damp with sweat and sticking to his forehead, his shirt open around his clavicle. He would’ve lost his jacket ages ago, Alex knows. He can never keep a hold of it.
George doesn’t say anything — he just groans, the noise coming from low in his throat, like he. Like he’s. Christ.
“Oh,” Alex says. It’s not like they’ve never got off in club loos before, but it’s always been when they were together — out after a race to either celebrate a good result or to commiserate after a bad one. The fact that George is surrounded by his friends and a mass of interesting strangers and is calling Alex for this anyway sends a shimmer of satisfaction curling low in his stomach.
“Is it like that, then?” he asks. He wants to laugh. He should laugh, do anything to brush this off until George gets back to his flat, but he’s never been very good at being the sensible one. Instead, he licks his lips, and says quietly, “You need it that bad? Can’t even wait until you get home?”
“Yes,” George says, breath coming heavier. “Yeah, Alex.”
Alex doesn’t think he’s touching himself yet. There isn’t any of his tells — he’s still too wound up with need, the twitchy, overwhelmed way he always gets when he’s wanting so much and getting nothing at all. Besides, if that’s what he was going to do, he wouldn’t have called Alex. He could’ve taken care of it himself — quick and unsatisfying. But Alex knows how it is with George — he wants to work for it.
“What’s got you all hot and bothered?” Alex says. “It wasn’t some other guy, was it? I hope you’re still saving that New Year's kiss for me. I was counting on it, Georgie. It’s the only thing getting me through these meetings with James.”
“No,” George says, choked. “God, no. It’s. It was just — there was a song. Please, Alex. Can you — tell me.”
“What song?” Alex presses.
“ABBA,” George says weakly.
“That’s not a song,” Alex says, trying to sound stern, but there’s already a grin creeping across his face.
“It was — please, Alex.”
“Tell me,” he says again, and he can tell from the hitch in George’s voice that he isn’t going to be able to hold out.
“Gimme, Gimme,” George admits at last, and Alex can’t keep in a laugh.
“God, you’re predictable, aren’t you?” Alex says when he’s straightened himself out. He wants to keep teasing George, but the image of it is starting to crystallise in his mind, and once it has, there’s nothing funny about it at all. “Are you going to keep me on the phone until midnight, then? Is that what you want? Expect I think you’re already all wound up now, aren’t you? I think you’re hard, and your dick is ruining the line of your nice posh-boy slacks.”
George lets out a high whine, loud and shocked, and Alex has to screw his eyes shut. When he opens them, he looks right up at the ceiling, like the smooth white of it might help settle him.
“You are, I can tell,” Alex says, and once he has, once he’s said it out loud, he can’t stop himself from cupping his dick through his joggers. It had started chubbing up as soon as he saw George’s picture on the caller ID, if he’s being honest, and hearing George’s panting breath down the phone hadn’t done anything to dispel the interest. “Did you get hard out on the dance floor, singing along with your friends, thinking about me? Do you think they noticed? Do you think any of them guessed what you were going off to do when you slipped away? What do you tell them?”
George just stutters for a minute, and then admits, “I didn’t say anything. I didn’t think — if they saw me. I thought they’d know.”
Alex has to work to keep his breath steady. It’s too much, the idea of George getting so desperate for it that he had to slip away, his polished exterior all chipped away to reveal the soft, needy thing underneath. It’s not fair that Alex isn’t there, can’t catch a thumb on his lower lip, can’t push his fingers into George’s hot, wet mouth. Can’t get his own hand around George’s dripping dick.
“Well go on then,” Alex says, throat tight. “You want to, don’t you? Isn’t that why you called? So I could tell you it was alright?”
“Yes,” George says, and Alex can hear the naked relief in his voice already. There’s a silent second where Alex thinks he must be fumbling for his fly, trying to get the button undone with his phone tucked up against his ear, and then there’s a sharp intake of breath, and Alex knows.
“Not too fast,” Alex says. “Get your hand wet. Don’t finish off the year with a shitty wank, George, it’s bad luck.”
He’s talking rubbish like usual, obviously, but George laughs anyway and then says, sounding wrecked already, “I am, I did.”
“I wish I could see you,” Alex says. “I bet you look incredible, dick out and desperate for it, huh? Do you think anyone else can hear? Or just me?”
George lets out a wild noise, too loud, a shocked hitch in his breath, and Alex has to get a hand under his waistband.
“I know, Georgie,” he says, and he tries to keep his voice steady even as he’s stroking himself, thumbing over the head of his dick. “I know, fuck. I know you need it. Come on, I want you to. I want to hear what you sound like. Come on.”
It doesn’t take long after that. Alex can tell by the noise George makes, open and unchecked, and the idea of it is obliterating — George’s sweat-sticky button down rucked up, his trousers pushed down around his hips, his hand dripping with his come, messy. George is breathing heavily into the speaker, so close that the sound has gotten warped at the edges, and Alex can only listen to it for a second before he’s coming too, spilling hot and messy and probably staining his joggers.
“Blime—,” George starts to say, but Alex cuts him off before he can get the word out. He can just imagine George’s wide, wet eyes looking all guileless and overwhelmed. “Don’t blimey me, you sex demon,” Alex says. “This one was entirely your fault. I’m not accepting any blame.”
It makes George laugh, slow and sleepy and satisfied, like he does when he’s tucked up against Alex in bed. “Fair,” he says, and then, after a pause, he adds, “Happy New Year, Alex.”
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rubiesintherough · 5 months
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.
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kath-artic · 19 days
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brain being STUPID
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livvyofthelake · 9 months
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god i miss alex. (saw him YESTERDAY. LESS THAN 12 HOURS AGO). life is so hard when you’re a girl who just watches the same movie every day
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pepprs · 2 years
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ok update i just finished making my card and i said / drew (lol) basically everything i wanted to say in it (except for the things i definitely can’t say now that this is happening lol). so i think maybe i might be ok with not saying what i want to say directly to her. but then when i say that im not ok with it at all LOLLLL so i think i need to sleep on it and maybe see what tomorrow brings
#purrs#sobbed hysterically writing the message and that was like 4 hrs ago (yeah.) and im still like dizzy and puffy eyed from it. i am not having#a good time lol. and it’s only going to get more intense this whole week and i don’t know if i can handle it. ive been overstimulated /#sleep deprived for like 2 straight days bc yesterday i was doing everything in my power to avoid thinking abt it and today i was doing#everything in mt power TO think abt it including being subjected to things that were hard and ofc the walk being a flop kinda lol. but omg.#mutuals i know it’s so deeply cringe but i have been vagueposting abt my work life since before i even got the fucking job. i know i look#mentally ill about it and i definitely am but my colleagues past and present are my best friends and my number 1 reason to be alive#actually. so this is just. idk. this feels very……. especially when this is someone who was never supposed to leave this suddenly. who i thou#thought i had years and years left with. and it’s just over like that and we have to say goodbye and i know it’s not even that big of a move#but it’s actually killing me. like physically. that this is happening rn. i don’t know what the fuck im going to do. and we aren’t even f#gonna be able to grieve openly at all but we are grieving and she doesn’t even.. like idk. maybe it just hasn’t occurred to her that we are.#but we literally are and its soooooooo bad. it’s so bad. i feel like im having a bad dream every day. i already felt like nothing was real#anymore and this helped abt -50000% with that sensation. like wtf is going on rn. she’s LEAVING. ON FRIDAY. FOREVER. FUCK!#but uh yeah the point is i do want to talk to her and if it was anyone else i would. but when it comes to emotional stuff and being honest#w each other abt how one makes the other feel… we are incompatible im afraid. she doesn’t want to talk abt it and all i want to do is talk b#but im shy and weak so i cave and just do everything in my power to give her what she needs and then i feel shattered for the rest of the#day / week / whatever. it fucking sucks and im not like that w anyone else in my little irl world (except my p*rents ofc LMAO) but it’s like#onmgggggg. can we please just talk abt how it is so painful you are doing this and comfort each other in it somehow. LOL! like i am in so mu#much pain i can’t even speak and she didn’t even look at me when i flicked my eyes over to her during the silences. CRINGE! girl she doesn’t#care about you 😭😭😭😭 except she does. idk. it’s just sooooo. idk. my brain is not right it hasn’t been since i got the news. i think im dying#delete later#OMG ALSO it is now the wee hours of july 26 which means that 3 yrs ago right abt now i did something so very stupid that made me have my#first very bad breakdown ever and it led to me realizing i needed counseling again. so maybe in the spirit of this anniversary i will do#this stupid thing (of asking to talk and then saying what i want to say even though i wrote it out) and then have a very bad breakdown and t#then go to counseling 🥳✌️
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hallowthyname · 1 year
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:(
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mostly-imagines · 2 months
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Banished
jason todd x fem!reader
aka jason misses his girlfriend
warnings: extremely mild angst, he’s just mopey (he’s fine)
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Jason sits slumped over the kitchen island, head lying in his crossed arms. His now soggy cereal disregarded after barely a few bites.
Dick’s been rummaging through the cabinets for the better part of twenty minutes and Tim sits atop of the nook table shoving donuts in his mouth for the better part of thirty.
Damian trudges past them to the nook bench, taking out a knife and beginning to whittle away at a block of wood.
He glances at Jason with a scowl. “If you’re going to be so miserable, can’t you do it in your own home?”
Jason just grunts.
He wishes. You and Bruce had conspired to trap him at the mansion for the week so he could heal from injuries sustained during the last mission without risk of him suiting up and sneaking away from you in the middle of the night.
It’s not even the fact that he’s basically being babysat that’s got him so disgruntled. He wouldn’t mind it at all if you were here too. But you were dead set that the manor was too far out of your way for work, so you’d stay behind. A lose-lose for Jason.
“He’s just mad his girlfriend kicked him out.” Dick teases, swiping through the fridge.
Tim snorts from the doorway, “Me too. He’s a lot more depressing on his own.”
Jason kept his head down as he blindly reached for the spoon in his cereal and chucked it at Tim’s head.
Tim catches it without thought, continuing, “A lot more irritable, at least. Why isn’t she here?”
“She’s gotta work.” Dick says, scanning through the pantry.
Damian peeps his head up from his project. “But Todd has a rather large supply of less than legally obtained money, does he not?”
“Yeah, but she said she wants to pay her own rent, I think.” Dicks hums, finally giving up on his quest for a snack.
Damian pauses.
“So she wants to live in a tiny apartment?” He asks, a mixture of confused and horrified.
“Watch your mouth.” Jason mumbles.
“It was a genuine question!” Damian protests, face screwed up.
Jason finally lifts his head up, turning to his little brother with a raised brows. “And I’m genuinely going to break your nose.”
It’s an empty threat, maybe. But it was enough to shut Damian up anyways. Jason turns back to his cereal and swishes the bowl around.
Dick rests his arms on the counter across from Jason and speaks lowly. “You know, it is just a few days. She’s coming back.”
“Yeah, whatever.” Jason was never one for showing his feelings—let alone talking about them.
He misses you, plain and simple. Dick could see that much clearly, though the longing looked unfamiliar on Jason.
Bruce lingers in the hallway, just past the island, listening.
He’ll admit (to himself) that he’s worried about Jason. It’s been three days and Jason has yet to show a crack in this demeanor. And while it’s not uncommon for him to stow himself away, there is something quite wrong with the way he hasn’t countered his brother’s jabs at him or teased them.
And while he could do without the blatant threats, he’s proud to hear his son defending his girlfriend, even over trivial things. It’s one of the few moments where he feels like he did right by him as a father.
And now here’s his son, caring about someone else more than he cares about himself. Someone who’s a good person, no less. It had been your idea to trick Jason into staying at the manor, you were scared that he would push his body past its limit when you couldn’t do anything to help.
Bruce knew you didn’t feel great about basically banishing him for the week but he could see that you just wanted what was best for Jason. He could see it so clearly. Maybe Bruce could never have been a perfect father, could never have given his son everything he needed despite having more money than he could ever use. Maybe he couldn’t help him, even now.
But you could.
Bruce peers around the corner, leaning up against the doorframe.
He watches Damian give up on carving at his block and start into the leg of the table.
He watches the bickering that broke out after Tim grab the last glazed donut, which was apparently the only thing Dick could possibly fathom eating.
And he watches Jason.
As Jason’s phone lights up on the counter next to him. He glances down at it with a frown before his face absolutely lights up.
He scrambles to pick the phone up and starts typing away. A quiet action that catches the attention of all of his brothers.
He types and types, waits for ten seconds for a response and types and types again—smile on his face.
The Waynes didn’t need to be the greatest detectives in the world to know who he was texting.
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hoshigray · 4 months
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𝐒𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐥𝐲, 𝐈 𝐇𝐚𝐝 𝐚 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞 | satoru gojō
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𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: Going on a date with the guy who broke your heart is something you’d never thought would happen – especially on Valentine’s Day! But it’s just for him to be in your good graces again, nothing more…Yeah, go ahead and tell yourself that.
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: Gojo x fem/afab! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - modern + college AU - frenemies to lovers + mutual pining + confessions - Gojo and reader are at least age 20 - going on a date - sex in a public space; hotel room - breast fondling + sucking + nipple play - fingering (f! receiving) - oral (f! receiving) - clitoral play (sucking and swiping) - missionary position - unprotected sex (psa: wrap it up or get tf up + Gojo doesn't shoot inside) - pet names (baby, cutie pretty, princess, sweetie) - angst + fluff - cameos: Shoko, Mei Mei, Utahime, Geto, Nanami - mentions of tears and spit - humor bc I'm [not] funny.
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 10.3k (going out with a bang, jfc)
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: final part to this short yet fun story !! tysm for the love you've given this series, it was a random idea that came to me last year and I'm so glad I was able to put more thought into it. all y'all's comments and rbs have been entertaining to read thru, love the support and engagement this story sparked with you, and I thank you sm for sticking around ccc: also!!! ty for 5.9k loveliessss mwah mwah~
and lol, yes, the title is based on the laufey song, hehe~
prev story » ❤︎
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“Sorry, Satoru, Y/n doesn’t wanna see you right now — like, at all.”
“Oh, Gojo. Sorry, Y/n’s in no mood to talk to you right now. Said you better not make so much as a step past this door. Because if you do, I’ll have to charge your savings.”
“Hmph, you got some nerve, Gojo! Didn’t you hear from Mei Mei earlier? Y/n doesn't wanna talk to you…What the hell did you do this time?”
You could hear your roommates telling off the person showing up at the front door from your door. Before, they’d come to you and ask if you wish to give this person an audience for your presence. Yet you say the same thing: you’re not ready to converse with them. You’ll probably never want to talk with them again. 
It’s been like this for the past week. Ever since the little fiasco between you and Gojo — not to mention you slapping him across the face for his upsetting words — things between the two of you have been quiet as promised. The very last words you ever told him were to never speak to you again after publicly humiliating yourself by crying in front of him.
Outside of being the talk in everyone’s mouth (I mean, who wouldn’t gossip about one person slapping another after walking into them saying some mean shit about the other), you’ve been worried about by your friends ever since the incident. Your direct senior roommate, Utahime, was the first one to see you crying to yourself after coming home from classes and immediately called up Gojo to rip him a new one for making her junior roomie cry. Shoko was the passive one who listened to both sides yet still put your emotional state above anything else, telling Gojo white lies that you weren’t in your dorm room whenever he’d try to visit. And Mei Mei walked with you to your classes throughout the week in case the tall figure tried looking for you.
But it didn’t stop there. After that day, your Contemporary Issues course with Professor Naga was sheer awkwardness. The silent tension between you and Gojo was so thick that it effortlessly suffocated your peers and made it hard to concentrate — especially for the professor and your friends, Ijichi and Haibara. Outside of the class, you did your part in avoiding Gojo, and the same applies to the lectures you shared with him. No words, no greeting – not even a mere glance – were shared in his direction. It was as if your life mission was to avoid him at all costs.
However, this is Satoru Gojo we’re talking about. Although he respected your no-talking rule in the premise of lectures, he’d still try to get your attention once class was over. And even then, you’d bolt to the door to not give him the chance. He’d follow right behind you and have to maintain a respectable distance when Mei Mei was the light lavender eyes behind your back.
But what the hell did he expect? What he said hurt you to your core, so there was no way you’d want to speak with him again. He deserved that slap! The sting you inflicted on his face for a few minutes was nothing compared to the torment of your heart that’s been aching for a long while now. You can’t even look at Gojo after what had transpired. The pain he caused has been with you for a while, yet it still felt new and fresh to reflect on. 
And yet…your mind still can’t help but agonize you even more. Do you think it was easy to not engage with Gojo this entire time? Oh, it was the worst, both for your soul and mind. The memories of his smile and dimples would come up every often, pooling you deeper into your dread. The routine of him speaking to you with whispers when it was just the two of you — like he didn’t want others to find you in the comfort of each other’s presence — like it was sacred. And the way he said your name. It toyed with your heart whenever you’d reminisce it. 
“Y/n!”
Especially after how much has changed in your relationship with him, you really thought things between you and him were going for the better. Or, to be honest, becoming something a lot closer and personal. Something you grew to want with him as the days’ encounters and nightly calls went by. 
“Y/n...”
But you were wrong, lecturing yourself for being so dumb and naive for wanting such a thing. Amid the fun, you had forgotten what you two were and believed that you could change from that. Change with him. And yet here you are, broken-hearted, barely concentrating on your Word document on your laptop. 
“Hey, Y/n,” your brow twitched with the snap of reality, Utahime opening the door after knocking. “It’s the front door again; it’s—“
“GRRRAAAHHHHHHHHH!!” 
You were never one to shout within your apartment — Utahime’s eyes widened at the sudden shout of vexation. You stood up from your desk and walked past her, marching through the hallway. Mei Mei peeks from her shared room, and Shoko pours coffee in the kitchen. All three of your roommates observe you stomping to the door.
You swung the apartment door open with vigor, “I SWEAR TO CHRIST, GOJO, WHAT PART OF ‘DON’T EVER TALK TO ME’ DO YOU NOT UNDERST—…Geto?”
“Oh, hey there, Y/n. I was worried about you.” You were surprised to open the door and not find the unusual silver hair you expected. Instead, it was Suguru Geto, Gojo’s dark-haired direct roommate, rubbing his cold hands together that weren’t covered with his black windbreaker. Next to him was Kento Nanami, standing silently in his sand-colored trench coat.
“Hey, guys,” knowing they aren’t who you thought it would be, your shoulders relaxed with your tone. “What’s up?”
“Well,” Geto sighs heavily before telling anything. “We wouldn’t be here for a reason. And, after hearing what happened between you and you-know-who, I think you can guess why we're here, too.”
And then it hits — the realization of how these two’s abrupt appearance came to be. “…He asked you two to come and talk to me for him.” 
The two roommates look at each other for a second, and then Geto points behind him with his thumb to the stairwell door. You follow his finger, seeing the person you’re talking about watching you from the door window. You try not to contort your face into an ugly, exasperated expression in front of the other boys. So, you settle for a sigh to alleviate the stress growing inside you.
“Ugh. What is it.” You ask Geto with an attitude that wasn’t easily sheathed.
“Honestly, all I know is that he really – like, really – wants to talk to you.”
“Well, I don’t want to talk to him. So there,” you shake your head and backtrack past the threshold of your door. “Sorry you two came here for no reason, but I can’t—“
“—Wait!” Geto cuts you off and brings a hand on the door to stop you from closing it. You caught the intervention, widening the door again. Geto explains himself. “Look, I don’t know what happened between you—well, no, sorry. I get that Satoru said some things that hurt you last week. Believe me: I already lectured him hell and back for it when Shoko told me you came home crying, and you have every right to be mad at him right now…But—“
“Did he tell you what he said to me?”
“H—No, he didn’t,” your brow quirked at that response. He didn’t? “All he told me when I confronted him was that he messed up real bad and crossed a line.” 
“A line?” You enunciated after him. “That’s cute...Geto, he won’t tell you what he said because I caught him saying those things. That scumbag,” you averted your gaze to the door window, seeing Gojo gulp at your fierce eyes. “—knows what he said. And he knows that I told him I want nothing to do with him for that.”
Nanami was quiet throughout the entire thing, so it took you aback when he spoke. “And I’m on your side in that regard. You’re right, he is a scumbag; tactless, crude, borderline annoying—“
“Just borderline?” Geto points the word out to lighten the mood.
“And the type of person to get on someone’s nerves purposely. And with that, I don’t blame you for cutting him off. If anything, it’s what he deserves, if not more.”
You knew there was more to say beyond that. “And yet…"
“And yet,” Nanami picks it up. “…I’d be lying if I said that guy doesn’t know when he’s at fault. He can be prideful and childishly playful — albeit disrespectful to anyone he thinks doesn’t deserve it. However, he’s not emotionless, and if he is disrespectful to his friends, he knows when he’s in the wrong.“
“And take it from me, Y/n.” Geto comes in with the assist now that things are a bit calm. “Fucking asshat will take days to apologize to me for something stupid, and that’s if he feels like giving me one. But even if he doesn’t, I know he cares about me like any best friend…Like he cares about you.”
You had to fight the urge to roll your eyes, so you close them and shake your head. “He doesn’t care—“
“Yes, he does.” Nanami doesn’t let you finish that sentence. “Like I said: Gojo is many things, but he’s not an emotionless moron. Because I can tell that whatever he said distraught you to your core and made him feel bad about it — pathetically so.”
“…How do you know?” You don’t know why you asked that question; why the fuck should you care? The fucker in question is the one that broke your heart behind your back, so why bother?
“Because when he came home that day, Geto pulled him by the shirt, threw him against the wall, and yelled at him like no tomorrow. And he just stood there, letting Geto give him his rightful lashing. He even told him he didn’t deserve you as a friend, which I agreed with. But then Gojo said something after that…”
Again, this isn’t something you should be caring about. So why are you turning to Geto to ask, “…What did he say?”
“He said I was right, that he definitely didn’t deserve you.” Before the raven-haired boy answered, he exhaled through his nostrils. “And that what he said about you was, by far, the dumbest thing he’s ever done, which is saying a lot.”
“A whole lot.” The blond-haired boy jumped in. “Y/n, don’t take this as me vouching for him. But, if you could have seen the look on his face when he said that,” he nods when you shake your head ‘no’ again. “You would feel the guilt and shame pouring from him. It was pathetic to look at — pathetic for him to express. But it was real.”
And you know it’s the truth — not because it came from Nanami, but because you could picture the scene as if you were there. You could just imagine Gojo’s face, a dangerous move as your heart skipped with a twinge. You imagine the emotions he was expressing, your skin crawling thinking about his blue eyes – usually filled with life and light – appearing so broken and devoid of animation. 
“He does care about you — there’s no mistake about it. You two have been friends since freshmen year; he’d be an idiot to let those years go down the drain because of him. And that’s why we went along with coming here in his stead and asking you to talk to him.” You open your mouth, but Geto isn’t finished. “Please, Y/n. You’re the mature one, but you don’t have to act strong on this one. I can only assume, of course, but I’m sure you want this handled, too.”
He wasn’t wrong, yet at the same time, you couldn’t shake the heavy feeling that was weighing you down. 
“I…I don’t want to speak with him.” The two guys didn’t change their facial expressions. “Not now, at least...I don’t want to see his face right now.”
“Then how about a phone call later tonight?” Nanami proposed. “You two can talk it out with each other after you guys think about what to say to each other. You can even have the call while we’re sleeping so you can have privacy.”
“Ehhh, but I’m nosy.” Geto teases his sophomore roommate, making the younger blonde huff. 
“Not tonight, you are. Plus, you got a project to present tomorrow, so you need sleep.”
“Fair, fair…But seriously, Y/n, you should talk with him. If not for him, then for us, for Shoko, Utahime, Mei Mei, all of us. We don’t want you upset about what this idiot did this time. So, one talk should be okay, right?”
It should be okay. Keyword: should. However, the anxiety that you harbor within your limbs tells you otherwise. The pool in your stomach churning into a state you find uncomfortable to fight against. 
But concurrently, you couldn’t lie to yourself; a piece was missing in all of this. The resolution was needed — there had to be a way to see the entire picture in this matter. Otherwise, you’d be walking around campus mad at the person behind a door examining your reactions for the entire semester — no, the whole next year! You knew you didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with that. You can barely go through it right now. So, might as well get this off the table before it worsens…At least, that’s what you say to rationalize.
“…Okay,” you straightened your posture. “The girls have morning classes tomorrow. Tell him to call me at midnight.” 
Your answer sealed the deal, the two males dismissing themselves before you closed the apartment door. Your roommates peered around the corner once they heard the door lock, coming to ask if you were all right. You molded a faux smile and said you were fine, and yet you couldn’t tell if that was a lie to them or yourself. 
From there, the time felt so long to witness and experience throughout the day, watching one hour pass after the other. The sun had never settled under the horizon so slowly before, taking its time to draw the curtains of darkness over the Earth. And yet the time went fast simultaneously — the minutes spooked you every time you looked at the clock. 
Was this the universe’s way of toying with you for agreeing to talk to Satoru Gojo? It had to be. Your stomach doing somersaults didn’t help either; you could barely get through eating dinner because the dreaded talk bound to happen in a few hours was all your mind could think about. 
And then, when everyone was fast asleep ten minutes before midnight, your nerves couldn’t settle down. Five minutes before, you decided to take yourself and the phone to the bathroom (because the fan would be loud enough to tune out your conversation), needing the tiny space to yourself to pace back and forth and not to disturb Utahime snoring away. One minute before, you were sitting on top of the toilet, watching the seconds go by on your phone, praying that he wouldn’t call on the dot. He wouldn’t buzz you at the immediate stroke of twelve, right? He had to be doing something — anything else — hoping he’d spare you another minute if he could.
BZZZR!! BZZZR!!
However, that wasn’t the case. He called you right on the dot, and your heart jumped at the vibration from your phone. His display name was titled ‘do not answer this jerk,’ a change you made the day after the incident. Yet here you are, in the bathroom, and your thumb shaking over the green button. 
It wasn’t until the sixth vibration that you pressed the button with a sharp inhale, bringing the phone to your ear with haste. The silence was in the air for a couple of seconds, worsening your anxiousness. Until—
“…Hey.” He was the first to say something, thank God.
“Hi…..Where are you?”
“Outside my apartment, sitting on the stairwell...You?”
“In the bathroom.”
“You sitting on the toilet?”
You know what he was doing, making the conversation easier before getting to the hard stuff. Nonetheless, you admit it was working while your nervous state gradually deteriorated. “…And what if I am?”
“Then I’d say….Heh, actually, no. I can’t make that joke right now. Not when we’re like this.”
“Mmm, like this…” You hummed, the awkward tension filling the silence once again. “….Look, Gojo—“
“Before you say anything,” he cut you off, but you allowed it. “I have a lot I wanna say to you, and I want to get them out the way before I forget and never get the chance to say them to you…Can I say them?”
Your brows scrunched together, your free hand drawing reassuring circles on your thigh, and your teeth gnawing on your bottom lip. “…Go ahead.”
“Okay…So, first off,” you held your breath to brace yourself. “What I said about you on that day — I’m not gonna sit here and say I didn’t mean those things when I said them because I did. But NOT in the way you’re thinking.”
“Then what way did you mean them, Gojo?”
“I meant them in the implication that I was trying to protect what you and I had.” Had? “Our relationship was being questioned, some girl was asking about us and…I know you weren’t ready to have our business out in the world yet, so I thought….I just said what was believable with how everyone sees us since we’re always butting heads and shit. So, I said and meant those things to protect us in the heat of the moment. And then…I guess I got carried away.” 
“You guess you got carried away?” You repeated, your anxiousness now substituting for subtle anger. “…Just a little person angry at the world around them? So exhausting to deal with someone so boring and uncute as me?”
“Holy fuck, you remember it all—“
“Of course I did!” How could you not!? “And then — hmph, now this one I’ll never forget — ‘I’ve seen prettier, been with better, I feel sorry for the poor bastard who does end up with them’…” Your emotions were a mix of offense and pain, irritation and misery. Despite that, your voice maintained a calm tone, even if you wanted to do nothing but yell at the screen. Yet that wouldn’t solve this. “Gojo, the fact that I know all of that, verbatim, and have refused to talk, think, touch, or even look at you since them…To say you got carried away is just…like, holy fuck. Who the hell were you?” 
He didn’t say anything for a minute, but you couldn’t blame him. Being hit with his own words like that, any moral human being would stop and let that shit simmer into their skin. 
“…I’m sorry,” you wanted to call bullshit so bad, but not after he followed up with this. “Really. I’m so…so fucking sorry, Y/n. I know that shit wasn’t cool, and, to be honest, I expected more than one slap for that. I only meant it to save you the burden of gossip; believe me when I say that.”
“I—ahem…” Nope, you were not going to do this. Not tonight. “I want to believe you, Gojo. But I just…I can’t; it hurts my head thinking about it.”
“I know…I did that to you, and I’m so fucking sorry. My foot was too far up my mouth when I said all that, just one useless thing after another….And you know what’s crazy? I think my conscience knew me spouting shit wasn’t the right call. I mean, I literally walked with you to the class that day; what kind of friend does that and say shit like that afterward? And when I saw you….the way you looked so…distant? Just like that, everything that we had was just gone. I couldn’t see it — I saw absolutely nothing when I saw you. That scared me, seeing the happiness and the smile you had minutes ago just vanish with the flip of a switch. And I fucking did that. I knew at that moment that I lost you…..Y/n…? Are you crying?” 
You immediately moved the phone away from your ear, covering your mouth with the arm of your sweatshirt. The cries you tried to suppress poured out at that moment, and the pain that scratched your insides left your system with every sob and intake of breath. The tears damped the material, soaking them in as they rolled down your cheeks.
As ways to start the eve of your Monday, crying with the person who broke your heart on the phone was not one you expected to be one of them. It all hurt: the rapid emotions, the memories of that day replaying in your head, the genuine sincerity expressed in his voice. It was all too fucking much, your face heating up to a concerning level that you’d think you’d blow up.
You give yourself a few seconds before bringing the phone to your ear, “….What else?” 
“Huh?”
“You said—sniff—that you had other things you wanted to say to me.” A change of subject was necessary, not wanting him to notice the broken crack of your voice. “So, what else?”
The request took him aback, but he knew better than to question or fight you. “…Second of all, I wanna say – since I’m not sure I’ll ever get the chance to tell them to you in person – I want you to know that you’re more than what I said. There’s nothing 'kinda' pretty about you — you’re pretty all over. I’m not saying that to butter you up; it’s something I’ve said to myself all this time…Who am I kidding, saying I’ve been with prettier and better when I hurt the most beautiful and kindest one my eyes ever laid on….? Boring and uncute? Heh, you’re anything but. Sure, I say you're uncute when you nag at me to no end, but I don’t think there’s been a single day that I’ve thought you were a sore for my eyes. You’re too gorgeous for that.”
“Gojo—“
“I don’t deserve you as a friend, Y/n.” Your breath hitched. “Honest. I shouldn’t even be talking to you right now. And yet, you gracing me with time to spare shows that I really don’t have the right to have you close to me…I’m sorry.”
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know he was honest about his apology. You felt it in your bones; your gut told you what Gojo told you was true. Your anger was nowhere to be found, but your guard was still up.
You slowly exhale through your mouth before taking your turn in the conversation. “So…Is that all?” 
“….”
“…Gojo?”
“….”
“Gojo? Are you still—“
“I like you.”
Okay, you lied; your guard wasn't up for that.
There’s no way he just said that. There’s no way those three exact words left his mouth and entered your eardrums. They kept ringing throughout your head, bouncing off the walls of your cranium with each repeated syllable. Your eyes widened by the second, your body coming to a complete standstill. And yet, the only thing that was moving and showed signs of life was your heartbeat increasing with the silence.
He likes you. The Gojo Satoru — your frenemy, annoying peer, and friend who enjoys your yelling and nagging — likes you.
“You…You what?” You heard him perfectly, but you wanted to confirm this wasn’t some joke.
“I like you.” He didn’t hesitate to replicate. “I do, I really do. I’ve liked you for….quite a long while, way before we started having sex together.”
“How long ago is that?”
“I think since the spring semester of freshman year when we had started to get a little closer before you became friends with Geto...Yeah, for a while now.”
“…Why?”
“Hmm?”
“Why do you like me? 
You heard him sigh out a large breath before answering. “…To be honest, I just like how you…are you. Like, you’re not scared to be yourself around me. Many people I’ve known try to kiss my ass for me to call them a friend, and even then, those guys are assholes…But you, I don’t see that — I never saw that. You’d never kiss my ass; you’d always be down to tell me when I’m wrong or right. Being around you was different from other people; I felt comfortable around you like you were one of my friends.” 
You didn’t intervene, listening to every word he was to say. 
“Not to mention…Heh, you’re so cute. Like, actually. And pretty, and independent, and bright. I can’t count how many times I’ve been lost in my thoughts about you. Especially recently, you’re all that I can think about. I like how it feels to hold your hand, and your fingers look small against mine. I could never get enough of you talking to you; it’s one of the things I look forward to. And, holy fuck, the way you smile. I swear, you could kill me with that face of yours. And your eyes — I’m always told mine are so beautiful to look at, yet I find that impossible whenever I get stuck when you look at me….Y/n? Are you—You’re not crying, are you?”
You said in sniffles. “You’re such a fucking asshole, Gojo…”
“Huh!? Why??”
“You break my heart one day and then say all these things the next…Are you trying to tell me that stunt you pulled is that dumb thing where people say stupid shit about someone else because they like them?”
“Hey, I told you why I said them! Besides, those two bimbos were getting in our personal life, and we didn’t have anything to call our relationship, so…!”
“Sniff—And you! Why didn’t you tell me you liked me for so long instead of annoying me to no end?”
“I could’ve done that, but…I don’t know. I guess our relationship was easier the way we had it. Things were less complicated for you. Plus, you’re cute when you’re angry at me.”You had to scoff at that. Of course, he’d say something like that. He can be such a prick sometimes. “I was okay with how things were, being all naggy and arguing with you while secretly close to you. I didn’t want to change something we were used to into something more.”
“Mmm.” You could only hum to that sentence, letting his words sink in before saying anything. “…Would it have been a bad thing if it was something more?”
He didn’t answer immediately, indicating that he took the question in serious thought. “No…I wouldn’t have minded. But that decision was all yours to make.”  
“Gojo,” The words you were about to say were about to be so nerve-wracking that you had to take in a deep breath. Chewing on your lips while exhaling through an open mouth. “….Would it be a bad thing if I said….that I liked you, too? And that…I still like you—”
KA-BANG-BANG!!
You jumped at the sudden sound coming from the other side of the line, as it was not the response you were expecting, and you could hear him saying curses further from the phone. After a few brief seconds, Gojo’s voice comes back.
“Fuck, sorry, sorry! I just dropped my phone on the stairs!” He sounded so worried, as if he lost you. “You.…You like me?”
“Yeah, I do…” Gosh, you didn’t think this would happen, the heat on your cheeks expanding to your ears and neck. “I really do. And I’m also willing to forgive you. BUT, you have to prove your worth by redeeming—“
“I WILL!” Again, it wasn’t the reaction you were expecting! He replied with such momentous excitement that you could imagine the sparkle in his blue eyes. “I will, I promise! In fact, I have an idea; how about I take you out on a date?” 
Huh!? “A date??”
“Yeah, on Valentine’s Day, this Wednesday! I know this great place not too far from here, or maybe you wanna go to a small café to wind down from classes? You can pick—”
“Wait, wait! We have classes that day; we have our night class with Professor Yaga—“
“We could skip—“
“Hell. No.” You shut him down with quickness. “We’re going over some serious discussions that day for our papers on Friday; we’re just gonna have to do the date after class.” 
“Pfft, God, you can be such a geek sometimes.”
For the first time that night, you rolled your eyes. “Says the Digimon-fanatic talking to me right now.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He snickers at the phone, and your heart swoons at it. It felt like you hadn’t heard that laugh in ages. “So…Is that a yes?”
It had you thinking for a temporary moment; talking with Gojo again just felt so…familiar. It was something you’d been missing for the past week, accepting that you’d never experience it again. And here he is, inviting you on a date? This was, by all means, a weird night. An apology, a confession, and now being asked out? 
Regardless, you can’t shake the feeling of wanting to be by his side again. And with a chance like this, why brush it off? “Yes, I accept your date.” 
“Then it’s a Valentine’s date. Cool.”
“Cool.” You awkwardly repeated after him, becoming squeamish with the brief silence. “Okay, well, now that we talked. I need to get some sleep.”
“Mmm, okay. Go get your sleep, then. Be sure to think of me in your dreams~”
Your head is shaken again, this time with a smile. “Whatever. I’ll try…Think of me too, Satoru.”
“I always do, Y/n.” Jesus, the way he gently and affectionately said your name. Is this what it’s like to admit you like someone? “Good night.”
“Good night…Oh, wait! You said you had a joke earlier.”
“Hmm…Oh, yeah?”
“Well, now that we’re kinda on good terms…What was the joke?”
“Oh! I was gonna say it’s kinda a shame that you’re sitting on a toilet and not on my face.”
“Goodbye, Gojo.”
“PFFFT, No, wait, I’m so—“
CLICK!
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
As far as dates go about, this is one that Satoru Gojo was the most nervous about. 
As promised, after your class with Professor Naga ended, Gojo waited for you with his car on Main Street by your dormitory. He was already dressed for the date, adorned with a black turtleneck and jeans that matched his Chesterfield coat. But you had a few things you wanted to touch up on before going out for the night, so he texted back that he’d wait for you outside.
What he didn’t expect was being instantly shot down by you once you came down and walked to his car. Because holy fucking shit, you looked so fucking beautiful. If this was a “touch-up,” all the people he went on dates on must’ve not been trying.
You were wearing a black halter long-sleeve top; your collarbone and shoulders were out for his eyes to trace and breathe to hitch. Your arms were shielded by a hoodie that looked a bit big for you but did its job of protecting you from the cold winds. And black thigh socks that contrasted with the plaid skirt and the puffy boots. And…did you put on lipgloss on? Holy shit.
“So,” you’d say meekly to catch his attention since he’s examining your every feature. “I’m ready…” They were simple words, yet they had the power to have him stop leaning on the car and grab the door for you. You were chewing on your lip, avoiding his gaze that watched every step you took. “You’re staring, Satoru…”
“Hmm? Oh! Sorry...” He’d close your door and mutter, scratching his neck where the heat from his ears crawled around. 
And from there, the date began. The plan? He wanted to take you to some fancy restaurant, but you politely declined and told him you’d settle for dinner and a movie. And you two did just that, going to this burger joint that was popping off when you entered. You two sat at a booth by a window, enjoying your food and conversing about each other’s day.
“You did not have to do that.” You said in giggles, bringing a fry to your mouth. 
“I did, too!” Gojo replied after taking a big bite from his burger. “The fucker almost tried to dirty my basketball shoes; do you know how much those shits cost? Expensive as hell.” 
“Yeah, but to push your buddy to an ice bath because he almost dirtied your shoes?” You shook your head with a smile. “And all shoes are expensive these days, Satoru.”
“Yeah, well, mine were custom-made. So,” he takes another bite. “Serves him right.”
Gojo didn’t notice it himself, but you saw a bit of ketchup on the corner of his mouth. Tending to your friend’s obliviousness, you grab a napkin and stretch to him. At first, he thought you were giving it to him to wipe it off himself; nope. You did it for him, tenderly dabbing the condiment off his lip. 
And you didn’t even notice what you were doing until your eyes met his, instantly pulling your hand back. “Sorry! You just…had something on there…”
“Mmm, thank you…” he said it low, but you heard him. What you couldn’t hear, thank God, was the beat of his heart going at an unsteady rate. It took a minute for you two to shuffle uncomfortably for the conversation to flow back.
After the dinner was the movie, a random action movie that you two felt interested to see. And it wasn’t that bad of a film; the plot was pretty subpar, the acting mediocre, but overall, a good movie. 
However, Gojo couldn’t focus on the movie for lengthy periods because his eyes would usually drift to the right of him where you sat, surveying how engrossed you were watching the film that you didn’t notice him. God, even in the dark, you looked so gorgeous and cute. 
Sometimes, he’d glance at your armchair and look at your hand, the inner dialogue between himself on whether he should go for it and place his hand on top of yours. But he doesn’t do it. He wants to, but he can’t, not like this. It was killing him so much; the feeling of wanting to touch you and have you against him again was haunting him — they’ve been haunting him for the past few days now.
“Fuck…” he’d mutter under his breath, but you wouldn’t hear because of the sound of explosions coming from the theater speakers. He wanted you but didn’t want to mess this date up. He couldn’t afford to screw this chance with you, he just couldn’t. 
Once the movie was over, he’d walk with you to the parking lot where the car was parked. The chill winds of February crawl up on your bodies, and you bundle up into your warm hoodie. “Did you enjoy the movie?”
He hummed with a tilted head. “Meh, I’ve seen better. It wasn’t too bad. What about you; you liked it?” 
You looked up to ponder and shrugged, swaying side-to-side as Gojo leaned on his car. “Yeah, it was okay. There’s better stuff out there.”
“You just saying that to agree with me?” 
“No, maybe you’re reading my mind and copying my answers.” You give a tiny smug look, only for him to smile along.
He then asks, “So…did I do good with this?” He can’t lie; how you lifted your brow instead of giving an immediate answer made him a little nervous. And with the tilt of your head and turning your body fully towards him, you knew you had him in the palm of your hand. You hand him your verdict:
“I think so. You treated me to good food, didn’t try to poison me, and got a free movie ticket out of it.” You jokingly punch his chest. “Yeah, I liked this date, Gojo. Consider yourself redeemed.”
He snickers lightly, “Good, I don’t think I can take another day of you being mad at me.” That made you giggle; good. Things go quiet for a while, and he averts his stare downward. His eyes land on your hand, the thoughts from the movie theater teetering back to his head. Goddamn it, he really wants to touch you—
“I can see you staring through those glasses, Gojo.” And just like that, you propelled your hand to link with his, making the tall boy flinch. “Your subtlety is wearing thin.”
Your teasing tone evokes a chuckle disguised in a sigh from Gojo, his fingers slithering to intertwine with yours. “What makes you think so?”
You peer up to him. Fuck, your eyes were so beautiful. “You were practically staring daggers at me while watching the movie. Am I on your mind that much?”
“Yes.” You expected a different answer – something more playful – and it’s why you couldn’t breathe after he brought his face closer to yours. “Infintely.”
Suddenly, the cold air didn’t bother you anymore. The heat on your face blossoms across your cheeks and ears while maintaining eye contact. “Am I on your mind right now?” He nods, your noses barely brushing each other. You whisper to him, “What are you thinking about?”
“I wanna kiss you.” He closes his eyes; you can see from his shades. “I want to hold you like I did before.” The hand clutching yours gets firmer. “I want you…Just you.”
The way he has with words effortlessly pulls you in, his voice comforting to the point you allow him to put his other hand around your waist. You faintly reply before connecting your lips with his. “I want you too…Satoru.”
When he pecks your lips, a feeling you two feared was wiped off the Earth returns to warm your bodies. Your hands instantly go around his neck like usual, sighing through your nostrils as you permit to sink into his hold and kiss.
Gojo uses this to bring his hand behind your neck to keep you on him, the kiss becoming more passionate by the second. He licks on your bottom lip, a sign of wanting entry. So, you open and lick him back before he takes the initiative to put his tongue inside your mouth. And you moan into his lips — fuck, how he missed the sounds you’d make for him. It felt like forever since the last time he heard them. 
This moment brings the spark between you two back, the sounds of the world around you drawing out from your space. All that mattered was you being in his embrace and him having you with him like this again. It all felt right — being with each other — with nothing bothering this peace meant for you two.
So much so that Gojo took it upon himself to convince you to stay with him tonight at a nice hotel close by, where you two couldn’t get off each other the moment you closed the door to your room. Hot kisses are exchanged as you two remove each other’s clothing, Gojo undoing your bra and lifting you to place on top of the bed. 
His lips never leave yours, even when his hands play with your chest. Your legs wrap around his waist to pull him closer as he rocks into you. Your core down south experiences throbs that entail you want him, your horniness dialing up with every grind of his groin.
He breaks the kiss to playfully bite your lip so he can hear you yelp for him, placing his lips from your chin down to your neck. You say in shaky breaths, “Hahhh, Satoru, please touch me more…”
He lifts his lips from your clavicle, “Of course, princess; you know I always got you.” He then licks from your collarbone down to one of your nipples in a tantalizingly slow fashion, your body squirming from anticipating what he’s about to do. His tongue finds its way to swirl around the bud, having your hum to the wet touch. And when he decides to suck it into his mouth when it’s hardened, you gasp. 
But it doesn’t stop there, one hand tweezing the other nipple as he licks around the one in his mouth. The free one snakes down your abdomen to your skirt, lifting the material for his digits to meet the damp spot of your panties. 
You jerk at the feeling of him moving the material to the side, rubbing his bare fingers on your precious, wet cunt and clit. “Ahhnn! Satoru, Satoru—Mmmm…” He rubs around on your folds in circles before adding his forefinger smoothly inside, his slender digit efficiently rubbing your vaginal walls have you holding back whimpers. 
When he thinks you’re ready enough, he adds his middle finger inside. Both his digits scrape and graze around your inner walls, provoking silent screams to leave your lips. Your fingers find his hair to tug, which only has him suck on your breast more. 
“Hooohhh, mmmmh…Right there, right thereee…please—Ohooo…!” You moan to him, your thighs jerking with every scratch of his fingers in your chasm.
“Mmm…you close, pretty?” Gojo releases your nipple for a quick second, returning it inside his warm mouth after he sees you nod hurriedly. “Hold tight, okay? Lemme get you ready, sweetie…”
You cry at the increase in speed, the nails of his fingers scraping the velvety tender spots inside you. Your body jerks to him as your hands find his shoulders to pinch on. Gojo lets go of your bud once again to move his lips down south, spreading your legs to take a look at your mess.
“Holy shit,” he says with a bitten lip before he crouches down to kiss your clit after slipping your panties off. “I fucking missed this pretty thing so fucking much.” He licks your soapy folds up to your clit, drowning the delicate button with feverish laps of the tongue. It has you screaming his name, and he loved that so fucking much.
Gojo stuffs his face to your slit, drinking your essence while teasing the clit with fast swipes. Your wails get louder and louder, and he doesn’t make it any easier when he keeps your legs spread for him to continue his work. Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck! I’m gonna cum, I’m—“Ahhahnn!!”
That’s when you come onto his face, your cunt spasming with electric pulses and your legs shaking with every hit of your orgasm. And he keeps on sucking and licking your fluids; you’d think he’s sucking the life out of you. But you can’t blame him; the boy is starved for you.
He soon withdraws his face from between your legs when you’re done with wailing and crying, licking his lips and leaving off the bed to take out a condom, throwing his jeans and drawls to the floor. But then something is wrong, and you can see it when Gojo presses his lips into a thin line before climbing back to the bed and maneuvers on top of you. He aligns the glans of his cock to the entrance of your vagina, and it’s there that you notice he doesn’t have the rubber on.
“I…I forgot to bring a condom, sweetie.” He says to you in a tune that harbors slight worry, and you can tell from his azure eyes that he’s a little nervous about this step. You held back a giggle; for once, he looked adorable when worried about something.
“…How good is your pull-out game?” You ask, half-jokingly.
His white brows trench together. “Are you sure?” 
You nod and kiss him on the cheek. “I trust you, Satoru, so just be careful, okay?” 
He blinks at you, taken aback by your lack of resistance. Yet, at the same time, he knew you needed this just as much as he did. So, with that in mind, he pushes the glans into you, observing your breathing to gauge how much to propel inside. The tip of his length then bullies itself inside you, a sharp gasp coming from your sweet lips while Gojo moans at the raw feeling of you around him.
“—Hnnn! H–Hooooly fuck,” with every inch he pushes inside of you, the sensation of your pussy chills him up his spine. The rubber had been shielding this away from him, every dent and smooth tissue of you wrapping around him. Oh, fuck, this was a dangerous game to play. “Oh, shiiit, you feel so fucking good..”
You could agree with that notion, experiencing his naked girth inside you for the very first time. You could feel his veins graze against your walls, the curve scraping your spots tenderly. “Ohhhh, fuck, you too, ‘toru…Oh my God…”
Even starting with slow thrusts was a hard card to pull, the subtraction of the condom making this feel so new and fresh — a scary dance to do with two young lovers. He pulls his cock slowly til halfway up the tip and then rushes it back inside to your wetness. Your pretty purrs fly out with every movement.
Gojo takes this time to look at you with your disheveled figure sprawled out for him to see and pick at like eye candy. Watery eyes batting up at him with pleasure behind half-lidded orbs, your chest that he loves so much out for him to give a nipple another tweak, and your legs curling around him as his tempo increases. You’re so fucking beautiful, and he’s so lucky to be able to have you under him again. He wouldn’t want it any other way — he wants to belong to you and you with him. It’s a dream he’d kill to have with you.
“Y/n…” he says your name in a shaky breath, groaning at your slit clamping onto him so suddenly. “Can I…Be your boyfriend?”
You didn’t have enough time to react appropriately because Gojo hammers his cock into you with no warning. You scream out for him to stop, to wait a minute so you can give an adequate response! But no, he ruts into you like his hips have a mind of their own, forcing you to cling onto him for dear life as the curve of his length jabs you in places that have you rolling your eyes to the stars.
“—Ahahhnn!! Ahhh! W-Wait, Satoruuuu!!” Your words slur out with a hot breath, drool coming down your mouth with no control. “You want me….Mmnph! To be your—“
“Yes! Oh, fuck…yes!” He says with no hesitation, slamming his pelvis down to your pussy so fast that his balls smack on your taint. Oh, fuck, this felt way too damn good! “I wanna be yours, and I want you to be mine—Hooooh….No one else’s…!”
“Nnahh…!! Ohhh, my God, fuuuuck…!” Your heart beats eighty miles per hour, your whole body endures heat shared with Gojo, and your thoughts travel too fast to keep up. He wants to be my boyfriend? He wants to be my boyfriend! “…R–Really?”
“Yeah, really, really.” He smiles breathlessly at you, placing a kiss on your forehead. “Let’s be a couple, yeah? I want you so bad; you drive me so fucking crazy—Hannhh!! Shit, shit… I don’t want to hide this anymore — to hurt my cutie anymore. Let’s make this official so I can be with you without worries.” He snaps his hips harshly, grinding his pelvis with the flex of his abs, provoking more horny howls to seep from your puffy lips. He lowers to whisper to your ear while a hand clings to yours on the side. “Whatcha say, princess, hmm? Let’s be together….Hmmm…!”
Holy fuck, this is not a confession you were expecting while having your insides churned out, with your crush between your legs, in the middle of a hotel room, on Valentine’s Day. Your mind was getting foggy enough from the hot commotion in your inner thighs — now your head was filling up with fantasies of being with Gojo as a couple! This was beyond bizarre, something out of a fucking movie! 
And yet, you couldn’t find any reason to say no! There’s no denying it — those feelings Gojo had for you were the same as you had for him. You feel so happy being around him, in his hold, whispering and expressing his vulnerable side to you, and you’d want to throw all that away? Hell no! 
“—Mmm, yessss,” you can’t help but shed a little tear at him, to which he readily dries away with a thumb. “Yesss, Satoru, I wanna be yoursss — please…take care of me!”
Gojo slams his lips onto yours, your mewls taken by hungry lips while his strokes go at a rapid tempo. You almost choke on his spit from the way your clit catches abrupt hits from his pelvis, and the tip of his dick pokes your fragile spots with precision. 
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ! You felt it; it’s coming. You felt it in your bones, the shivers crawling up your spine as you inhaled to prepare. “Maahhh! ‘Toruuu, I’m gonna cumm…! Quick, pull out—Oooooo!!” 
Thank God you gave him a warning. The tall other was too lost in the feeling that he was just about to come inside you! He removes his body off of yours to swiftly pull his member out, using his hand to finish the job for him, although he already misses the warmth of your cunt. 
He comes at the same time as you, his load shooting out from his urethra and spilling onto his hand. White fluids slide between his fingers as he continues to stroke himself off while your legs twitch and your slit contracts and flutters on nothing, letting the wave of your climax pass on through with every howl. 
The air of the hotel room cools your bodies after disconnecting your sexes off each other, and huffs and pants from heaving figures are evidence of you two trying to find your balance in the world. Sky-blue eyes lock in with yours, and he laughs in faint puffs.
He crawls his way back between your legs after wiping his hand, placing kisses up your neck and chin. “Hahhh, fuck, that felt way too good.”
“Mhmm,” you hum with him, letting him place his head in the crook of your neck. 
“Hey,” he traces a finger along your collarbone. “Wanna skip classes tomorrow?”
Your eyebrows draw upward. “One day of Valentine’s isn’t enough?”
“Nope~. Plus, I wanna make up a week’s worth of not being around you.”
“Pfft, sure,” you stifled a laugh. “But you need a single day to do all that?” 
He lifts his head with a grin. “Well, we don’t have enough clothes to stay here until Saturday.” He maneuvers himself to lie on his side. “Why? You doubt I can do it?”
“You’re free to prove me wrong,” you give him a sneer. “I suggest you start getting to work.” You didn’t expect your words to flip a switch, causing the snow-haired other to grab you by the legs to him. He restrains your hands above your head, and you can’t fight the giggles from his playful manner.
“With pleasure,” he claims your lips again, your sweet murmurs entering his ears.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“Psst, oh my God, do you see that?”
“Holy shit, this can’t be real!”
“Woah…Am I in the right universe?”
“Satoru, I told you people would stare…hurry and let go of my hand—“
“Nope! I like where your hand is right now~.”
It was like this the entire day. Ever since your Valentine’s Day date with Gojo, things instantly returned to where they were supposed to be and more! It was amazing how one day could make the bitterness of the weeks prior dissipate with the February wind. There was nothing to be scorned about —nothing to be scared of — everything felt clear to you and the person you were holding hands with.
After that date successfully went well — and won your heart in more ways than one, you’ll admit — you and Gojo decided it was time to unveil the status of your relationship. No more secrets, no more hiding feelings for each other; you two were officially a couple, both in private and outward!
Spending two days alone together felt like a dream, being so close to each other without worrying about being seen and critiqued in the eyes of others. But now, back on campus grounds, you can’t go back on your promise and have to walk with your cheeks and ears burning as Gojo’s fingers tighten the grasp around yours. 
Of course, the change of pace was a complete shock to the students and staff on this Friday. The number of perplexed gazes and starstruck figures who stopped to look at the two of you was too many to count — hell, you even saw Professor Gakunaji’s eyes widen for the first time! It was all so embarrassing, being the talk on everyone’s mind after keeping a low profile for so long. And here you are, holding hands with the star basketball player, the guy everyone knew assumed you couldn’t stand being within arm’s length with, and now, the boy you want to spend the rest of your college life with, Satoru Gojo.
Who, by the way, is loving every single second of this — of course he is, the fucking cheeky bastard! You don’t think you’ve seen his smile and dimples never leave his face for the entire day. He was stuck to you like glue, walking you to your classes and immediately returning to your side after his lectures ended like a happy puppy. He knew you were a little overwhelmed with it all, but that wasn’t a problem because he’d happily make sure you didn’t think you were the only one going through with this. Plus, you just looked so fucking cute looking all bashful around him now that he expresses his love for you publicly. I mean, the way you were in shock after he kissed you on the cheek after walking you to your second class of the day with Utahime? Oh, he wished he had a picture! Especially with your roommate’s jaw dropped to the floor (which never closed throughout the remainder of class as she just stared at you) after seeing the startling, romantic interaction.
And now, here you two go, walking out from your last class of the day with Professor Yaga — who was caught off guard when you two walked in together with a lovey-dovey (mostly on Gojo’s part) atmosphere but gave you a small smile as you walked to your seats (which were changed because Gojo pleaded you sat next to him from now on) as Haibara and Ijichi exchanged cheeky glances at the observation. 
You two were walking down to the dining hall, where you planned to have dinner with Shoko and Geto and tell the two best friends of Satoru Gojo of your intimate relationship. But gosh, everything was going too fast! “Hey, Satoru—“
“Yeeeess~?” He says in a sing-song tune, too pleased with himself as he swings your hand to and fro with his. 
“Do we really have to do this today? Why not eat with Shoko and Geto tomorrow—“
“Huuuh!!? But I’m taking you out tomorrow!” You want to hide your face when passersby hear your boyfriend’s reaction, immediately swapping gossip when they’re out of your vision. “Besides, they’ll be hella busy studying tomorrow at the library, so today was the best option.” 
You nod aimlessly. Ughhh, this is just too much. I feel like my head is gonna implode. Then, you felt Gojo grip your palm tighter and put your walk to a stop, prompting you to look up at him again. 
“Hey,” he says with his signature smile, his dimples becoming more prominent now that you’re gazing up at him. “It’s gonna be okay, alright? I got you, and you got me, right?” And he brings you in for a tight hug that has you squeaking and your lips quivering from hearing people gasp at the display of affection. “And now that I finally have you to myself — officially! — don’t think for a second that you can ever get rid of me!”
On the one side, you really want this fool to let go of you so everyone can stop staring and you can get this dinner over with! And yet, on the other side, your heart was beating in such a tune that had you melt into his embrace, and the smell of his cologne made you hum to his chest. You can’t seem to fight the smile growing on your face and your hands coming around to hug the white-haired, lovestruck fool back. “You’re too silly, Satoru…”
“Uhh, are we interrupting something?” 
With haste, you and Gojo break the hug to see the owner of that familiar voice. To your surprise, it was Shoko greeting you two with a smile. Next to her was Geto, also harboring a sly smile on his face before you. 
You cough to clear your throat away from Gojo, who sneaks his hand on your shoulder to keep you close. “H–Hi Shoko, Geto! I see you guys beat us to the dining hall.“
“Yeah, we were wondering if you two would make it. But now,” Shoko’s brown eyes venture from the figures of Gojo and you being close together, “I can see that you two wanted a bit of time to yourselves.”
“Uhhh, oh, you know; we just wanted to walk together since we had our last class for today!” You try to move your shoulder away from Gojo, but his grasp gets firmer and firmer.
Geto laughs, “Oh, no need to act so shy on us, Y/n! It’s good to know that you two are back to being close and cool now. Especially now that you two are a couple.”
“Ohhh, c’mon now, we’re not—“ you stopped, your body going rigid, and everything suddenly fell silent. “Wait….You knew?”
Geto hums as confirmation. “Yeah? Gojo told me.��
Your face forms into confusion. Gojo?
“Me?” Silver brows hang up at the statement. “I never said anything.”
Shoko makes a slightly bewildered expression. “What are you talking about? Remember that photo that you sent to Geto on Wednesday, and—“
“Woah, woah, woah.” Gojo’s fingers tense on your shoulder. Oh, he knows he’s in trouble. You can tell as he silently removes his hand while you question his best friends. “What picture?”
“Uhhh, the one he sent when you two were out for Valentine’s?” When we WHAT!? “Hold on, lemme pull it up from our messages…Yeah, this one.”
The moment Geto brings out his phone and gives it to you, Gojo felt his heart dropped to his ass. Not that you could tell, but the aura of fear was enough to be picked up. What showed on the screen not only had your jaw drop to your feet, but the cutesy feelings you had a minute ago with Gojo faded. Instead, it was replaced with the growing irritation that had your fingers tremble.
Geto’s phone screen displays a message and an attachment from Gojo on the night of your date. Judging by the time, it happened when you assumed you two were sleeping. The attachment proves your point, showing your sleeping face peacefully on Gojo’s bare chest. And the man in question is shown groggily awake, holding his phone to take the picture while his lips are planted on your forehead. The message below the photo answers Geto’s question, “Yo, you two made up already?” To which the taller figure says, “Yeah, kissed and made up. :3”
“Gojoooo….”
Before you do or say anything, your shaky hands return the phone to its owner, which Geto takes silently while backing three steps away with Shoko. 
“SATORUUUU!!!”
You yell out his name without a care for the people around you who immediately look at you. You turn to where he’s supposed to be — supposedly by your side. But you’re not surprised to see that he’s gone, turning your heel to find that the snowy-headed figure was backing up with his hands up.
“H–Hey now, Y/n,” He says nervously. He better be nervous because your eyes showcased a wrath he wasn’t ready for. “Calm down for me, okay, princess?”
“You…Are so…FucKING DEAD!!!”
And it was there that you chased him down, running around the halls. Geto and Shoko watch with baffled expressions before they scoff with laughter. The same goes with the other students who witness the commotion, enjoying the familiar banter between you two. 
It’s weird to say that you and Gojo are officially a couple now, at least to the public eye. However, no one seems to be in denial of it or push it aside. If anything, they seem happy for you two, finally coming around to express each other’s love for one another in a better way than insults and shouts.
And your friends can say the same, enjoying the change of ambiance whenever you two are in the same space. No more trying to ignore the rambles and arguments between you two, no more tired eyes rolling around their sockets when you call each other names. Because they know those will happen anyway; nonetheless, it’s now in a better light that the banner of young love is finally open and hanged.
 It’s a love that you and Gojo can finally express, be free, and be happy with.
“COME BACK HERE, SATORU GOJO!!”
“NO, YOU’RE JUST GONNA HIT ME!!”
And you two wouldn’t want it any other way. 
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© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 ❤︎ reblogs + comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ☆ dividers by @/cafekitsune & @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more.
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personasintro · 7 months
Text
Mutual Help | #58
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↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help
⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader
⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn
⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, suggestive content
⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 20.1k+
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⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 
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The first issue happens shortly after your shenanigans with Jungkook.
Everything has been dealt with regarding your planned and first official vacation. Accommodation, flight tickets, even some of the activities all of you have agreed on. While you had enough time to dwell back into your working life (Jungkook free to some extent), each day has become closer to the D-day. 
You're not going to lie. You're excited to get out of Seoul – as much as you love the city – and experience some fun memories with your friends. With them, you will have the time of your lives. However, all plans come crashing down with a single message from Jimin. 
For some reason, his previous planned holiday is canceled by his boss himself. They're low on the employees and there's nothing else that could be done. 
“Maybe there will be a last minute change but I don't think that's gonna happen. I think I should cancel my flight tickets while I can.” Is what he said through a message. 
Taehyung was the one who took it the worst. To explain it correctly, Taehyung cursed the shit out of Jimin's boss and how devilish it is of him to ruin the holiday. Holiday without Jimin sounds sad and suddenly, none of it seems as exciting as you once thought. 
Perhaps the reason behind your sulky mood is the fact that you don't like when something is not going according to plans. Or more like – you're excited about something, already imagining and having a certain vision of things when it suddenly gets ruined. Funnily enough, Jimin is the one who takes it the best. He laughed and joked about it, though he surely does feel a little upset by the sudden changes. 
Nobody wants their summer holiday to get taken away, especially when he has to be working instead. Jimin insists all of you should go regardless of his absence when the idea of trying to get another date comes to the surface. Though, that's even trickier when three people have to change their already confirmed and planned holidays. There are your co-workers who have scheduled free days too. To say it shortly – it's not easy at all and would bring more trouble than good. 
Even Jungkook who's his own boss has scheduled photoshoots and overall work. He could possibly cancel it, but that would bring no good to his name and business. Plus, he would lose money obviously. 
Jimin stays positive and prays that maybe someone from their team will come to the rescue. 
It's a little more than two weeks before your planned vacation. You're in the middle of folding your freshly washed and dried clothes while Jungkook's humming can be heard in the background. You video-chat him, giving him advice on what clothes to give away to charity. Something he has been doing for a while now. 
Taehyung would tell him to sell everything and Jimin would tell him to give away everything. You, on the contrary, can reason with him. The piece of clothing he hasn't worn for the last year is good to go, because he will probably never wear it again. It's why you help him with that instead of any of the guys. 
After that is done, you just casually chat which to be honest, you're glad for. It's not like you haven't done that in a long time, but it feels way more calm than anything you've done for the past few months. It's a nice change compared to your wild thoughts. You just can't bring yourself to dwell on it – because you're going to lose it. 
“Oh found this one just now,” Jungkook says, cutting off your thoughts which is probably for the best. 
You look at him, his phone propped on his kitchen counter and from the looks of it, you can just imagine the device leaned against his bowl of fruit. He stands with a leather jacket in his arms, showing it off so you could see it better. Little does he know, that article of clothing is not one to be forgotten. 
“What do you think?”
“You want to give it away?” you almost gasp, hands on your hips with a mouth agape.
“Why not?”
“Because it's the legendary jacket, you can't just give it away.” you protest, seeing him blink at you a few times before he bursts out into the cutest fit of laughter.
Teeth on display, nose scrunched along with the ends of his eyes, he laughs. “Legendary jacket? What are you even talking about?”
You pout, rolling your eyes at him.
“It's just a regular leather jacket. Everyone's got one of these.”
“That might be true,” you start, Jungkook's eyes wide as he teasingly nods, motioning that he's listening. “But it looks way too good. Plus, you wear it often, right?”
God, you hope he does. Now is not the time to thirst over him and how fucking good he looks in that stupid jacket, but well… that's exactly what's happening right now.
“I haven't worn it in a while, it's too hot for it.”
“See? You will wear it once it's colder. Keep it.”
Jungkook stares at the jacket for a moment, his eyes glinting and watching the screen where you're currently finishing up folding your clothes. With a tiny smirk, he places the jacket to the side and leans against the counter. His forearms rest on it, head cocking to the side.
“I can't believe Jimin is not going with us.” Jungkook admits, mouth curling into a displaying frown which you immediately mirror without even looking at him.
Sitting on the couch with your phone in your hand, you sigh disappointedly. “Don't even mention it. I'm so upset over that. Honestly, what a stupid boss.”
“It happens here a lot though.”
“I know,” you whine, “But still. It ruined our plans and I feel so bad for him. We're gonna have fun and he will have to stay here and work. It won't be a proper vacation without him there. It was supposed to be all of us.”
“Jimin wants us to have fun.” he responds with a soft tone, thinking of the stupid situation himself. 
“It's not gonna be it when he's not there.”
“It fucking sucks,” Jungkook sighs. “Maybe he'll be able to join us last minute.”
“I doubt it,” you frown, Jungkook snickering at your pessimistic self as you give him a glare, knowing exactly why he's laughing. “He would have to get his flight tickets at the last minute, plus his accommodation is already canceled. What if the place we'll stay at won't have any free space?”
“There's a couch, he could sleep there.” he shrugs.
“Nah, flight tickets would be a problem. It's vacation season.”
“Or maybe he will be glad to spend some time with his girlfriend.”
You frown, “Not wanting to pull out Taehyung but he's with her almost all the time.”
“And how would you know that?” Jungkook chuckles.
“Well, when he's not working or with us, he's obviously with her.”
Jungkook keeps grinning, not really having any argument because he knows you're right.
“You sound like Taehyung.” he teases.
“Oh fuck off!” You both laugh. “It's true though.”
“It is. Can you blame him?”
“What do you mean?”
“If I had a girlfriend I would wanna be with her too.”
You frown at that again, staring at Jungkook on your screen who seems to shrug innocently. “But Jimin was excited to go to Hawaii.”
“Yes,” he says slowly, “I'm just saying that even if he's not going, he would spend time with his girlfriend and he would enjoy it either way. So no need to be too sad for him. He himself isn't too upset with it.”
“Men,” you sigh, “You all think of pussies.”
“Y/N!” Jungkook almost chokes at your honesty.
“What? Just sayin',” you mutter, “This is important, Kook.”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “I was just trying to make you not feel so bad for him. He will be fine. He's a big boy.”
You snicker, “It's a bummer.”
“I know, but I promise you… we will have a good time. Even if it's just three of us.”
“Yeah, I know that–” you mutter, pouting. “Just will miss Jimin there.”
“Speaking of the devil, he's calling me.” Jungkook says, eyes attached to the top of his screen. “I will just call him after this.”
You cackle. 
“What?”
“Nothing, nothing.”
“Come on now,” he groans, “It's impolite to end a call just like that.”
“Just admit you love talking to me.”
He rolls his eyes, laughing as he keeps grinning at the screen. Your own mouth turning upwards as something within your chest tickles. “I do.” 
He admits and that something bursts. You freaking look away with a smile, almost too close to giggling loudly like a freaking teenager. You stop yourself, clearing your throat. 
“You should've seen your face,” he suddenly bursts out laughing. “What was that? Do I make you flustered, Y/L/N?”
“You wish, Jeon.” you spit jokingly right away, your senses acting automatically. 
He suddenly sneezes, loudly and forcingly, your head tilting to the side as he lifts up his gaze, eyes mischievous as a teasing grin makes it onto his face again. “I'm sorry, I'm allergic to your bullshit.”
You gasp loudly, “You piece of shit. I'll get you back for that, Jeon.”
“Yeah, wonder how,” he teases cheekily, “Why's Jimin still calling me? Wait hold on–”
He grabs his phone, tapping something there as you get another angle of his face.
“This angle is funny. Too bad I can't see your double-chin. This could be my payback.” you joke, Jungkook clearly too immersed in reading something to pay you his full attention.
You purse your lips. “Hello? I'm trying to be funny here.”
His eyes widen, your smile dropping.
“Kook?”
“Holy shit,”
“What?”
“Fuck, fuck,” He stands up, almost dropping his phone. “Jimin just texted me–Taehyung is in the hospital.”
“What?!” You yell, standing up abruptly as you clutch the phone in your hands. “Jungkook, talk to me! What happened?”
“I literally don't know!” he exclaims. “Jimin just got the call and tried to reach us.”
“Us? He didn't call me!” you panic, checking your notifications to see them empty. Fuck. You would not forgive yourself if you somehow ignored his messages, even though it wouldn't be entirely your fault.
“Fuck, we need to get there. He's going there right now.”
“Is it serious?” you ask, voice shaking at the thought of Taehyung and something happening to him. He's in a hospital which means it's something serious. 
Jungkook stops pacing, hearing the shakiness in your voice. Bringing the phone closer to his face, he watches you. “I'll come get you, alright?”
You nibble on your nails, nodding still staring ahead of you. 
“Y/N,” Jungkook calls out to you. “He's gonna be okay, alright?”
“You don't know that.” you scoff.
“We don't know any details, so let's not jump into conclusions, okay? Just wait there, alright? I will drive to your place right now.”
“Where would I go?” you exclaim, clearly stressed which Jungkook doesn't blame you for. Instead of calling you out for your attitude, he knows you're worried and stressed.
“Just don't drive anywhere.”
“I won't.” you promise, voice softening. 
“I will call you once I'm there. Don't go outside, it's too late.”
“Jungkook, stop worrying so much.” 
He groans, grabbing his keys as the screen keeps glitching here and there how quickly he's moving. “It's too late. Wait inside.” 
“Okay, sir.” you mutter dryly, Jungkook stopping just to glare at you. 
“Stop messing around. I am not.”
“Jesus, sorry.” 
He rolls his eyes. “Keep your pretty ass in your home. I'll call you when I get there.”
“Then get your pretty ass here, Jeon.” you roll your eyes to give back at him.
He sighs, closing his front door with a loud thud. The connection glitches for a second, his internet changing to his mobile data as he waits for the elevator. “Fuck it.” You hear him muttering, running for the stairs.
You keep pacing in your living room, biting off your nails while not having Taehyung beside you to scold you for doing so. Your heart clenches and worry overcomes you once again. It's Jungkook's car door closing that brings your attention back, watching him put his phone into the phone holder. 
“Kook?” 
“Hm?” he says, putting on his seatbelt as he turns on the engine. 
“Drive safely, okay?”
“I will,” he promises, but you keep giving him the same desperate look. “I promise.”
You smile nervously, ending the call just to be met with a spam of messages from Jimin. 
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Jungkook comes shortly after, just enough for you to check all the lights and gas before you leave. He definitely drove over the speed limit but you don't dare to scold him once he calls you. You spot the familiar Mercedes slowing down the parking lot just as your phone rings. Just like he wanted, you stayed inside. Knowing there's a low chance of something happening to you – considering this neighborhood is pretty much safe and you've walked when it was way later than now  – you also know he cares about your safety, so you didn't feel like disobeying his direct orders. Or more like a plea that would end up in a frustrating scolding if you didn't listen to him. 
Once you get inside the car, you buckle your seatbelt and Jungkook speeds out of the parking lot, rushing to the hospital where Jimin texted him details.
“Jimin is there.”
“What happened? Did he tell you?”
Jungkook shakes his head, checking on you for a split second before his eyes are back on the road. “No, he's still waiting.”
Luckily, the hospital where Taehyung's at is not that far away and it takes you approximately around fifteen minutes to get there, with all the red lights you had to stop at.
You've never had to go to a hospital here because something happened to one of your friends. To go through this and watch how Jungkook says Taehyung's name at the reception, trying to get any information doesn't sit with you well. You're full of nerves, sticking to Jungkook's side as he handles everything by himself. The nurse questions your relation to Taehyung but luckily, has no problem giving you directions of where to find your friend. 
“Couldn't she tell us if he's alive?” you grumble beside Jungkook as he tries to follow her directions from before. 
Jungkook chuckles, “If he wasn't, she wouldn't just tell us where to find him.”
Sighing, you follow Jungkook the entire time. “Have you been here before?” you question him in the elevator, a suspicious, curious look glinting in your eyes where worry was found before. 
Jungkook gives you a side-glance, sighing before looking ahead. “I have.”
When he doesn't elaborate and is silent, you lean yourself forward to catch his eyes. “When?”
He straightens his posture.
“It's just because you kinda know your way around here.”
You don't remember him mentioning being hospitalized here, nor coming here for examinations. There's a chance you simply don't know about that. There might be things you haven't told each other, it's practically impossible knowing everything about each other. But you feel if it came to this topic, you would know about it. 
But you don't. 
“I was here with Kiko.”
You halt, a taken back expression taking over your face.
“And because of Kiko.” He adds, clearing his throat at the mention of his ex. Almost as if you would bite off his head just for mentioning her name. 
You chuckle at that. “Oh, I didn't know that.”
“Yeah, didn't think of mentioning it before.” he mutters.
“Was she hospitalized here?”
“Do you really wanna know or you're just nosy?” he teases, wiggling his brow at you as you roll your eyes.
“Just answer, Jeon.”
“My curious delicate flower,” he continues to tease, ruffling your hair in the process as you elbow him in the ribs. “She had something with her shoulder once, she went here for rehabilitation.”
“Oh,” you let out slowly. “Was she fine after that?”
Feeling a burn of someone's gaze, you see Jungkook side-eyeing you. “Don't pretend like you care.” he chuckles, shaking his head at you as you smack your lips at him in annoyance.
“I wanna know! Stop making it seem like I'm a heartless monster!” 
“I wouldn't dare.” he jokes, continuing to shake his head as you sigh in irritation at your very annoying friend. 
“I advise you that.”
He snickers, “Damn, so scary.”
“Jungkook, seriously. I'm gonna kick you in the balls if you're gonna continue this.” you warn him, hearing him laugh as he leans against the elevator's wall. 
You glance at him, annoyed expression as his brow cockily lifts up. 
“Not the balls, damn, you monster.”
“Keep talking and you'll see the real monster.” you mutter, your bickering interrupted by the elevator's ring, informing you of your floor. 
Walking out of there, all the fun disappears as soon as you see and smell the sterile surroundings again, along with sick patients of all sorts which truly breaks your heart. You understand why someone hates hospitals so much. You never truly belong to that people, never really had that awful experience. Everyone you lost in the family had left at their peaceful homes. You never had to say goodbye to anyone here. 
Although, you do remember visiting your father's mother – your dear grandmother  – when you were a kid. Unfortunately, she passed away when you were around six. The only thing that bothers you to this day is that you don't have many memories with her. Since you were a little kid, you only remember very little. Plus, there are days when you wished she was still here. To talk about the craziness you've experienced in both families. To help her and show her your gratitude for raising your dad and his four siblings, when she was all alone. She was truly an inspiration for you. 
Your dad says you get a lot from her. You'll never forget a conversation you had with him about her. 
“You remind me of her sometimes. She had a good heart like you have.”
That's what he told you when you were around eighteen. Your dad is not a sentimental person. He doesn't usually say many heart-warming things, so to hear him saying that just made you emotional. Thinking of it now, it still does in a way.
“Sorry, we are here looking for our friend? They told us at the reception he's on this floor. Kim Taehyung?” Jungkook stops one of the nurses, surprisingly stopping a male who kindly shows you the way to see your friend. 
Jungkook looks behind, making sure you're there as he gives you an encouraging smile. You wonder if he's scared as fuck of what you're about to see as well. Is he pretending to be brave and having his shit together because of you? Are you preaching? 
Jungkook is the most caring friend. You don't believe he's not worried as much as you are. 
“Ready?” he asks, tilting his head toward the direction the nurse sent you. 
Naturally, like your body calls for his proximity and safety, you wrap your arms around his forearm, clutching to his side as you give him a nod. He leads you to one of the rooms, both of you cautiously peeking inside as the scene in front of you makes you both gasp loudly, catching everyone's attention in the room. 
There he is. 
If someone told you you will see Kim Taehyung laying in a hospital bed, you would laugh him off for some reason. All of you would. So to not only see him lying there but having a huge cast on his leg, his face pale and hair unkempt, you and Jungkook gulp at the sight. 
Jimin stands there, arms crossed over his chest as his hands rub his lips nervously. A woman stands next to him, a little behind him, noticing your and Jungkook's presence immediately. 
That has to be her.
But before any of you can pay her attention, Taehyung steals it without even knowing as he groans. 
“What the hell happened?” You almost shriek as a panicked mother, tearing yourself off Jungkook's side as you rush to Taehyung's side, Jungkook following you right after.
Both of you having a concerned look, Taehyung takes a minute to recognize you. You make a grimace, you and Jungkook giving Jimin a stare as he goes to say something, but he's interrupted by the patient himself. 
“You guys are here?” He looks shocked, making sure it's really you as he squints his eyes at you both.
“Of course we are–what happened, Tae?”
“Ah, don't even ask! That shit is so fucking embarrassing!” he dramatically sighs, slapping his palm over his forehead as he disappointedly shakes his head at himself.
“Can he just tells us what the fuck happened to him?” Jungkook mutters under his breath, causing you to elbow him like before.
Jimin clears his throat, “He was at the gym and accidentally dropped one of the dumbbells on his feet.”
“Jimin-ah!”
“Man they asked!” Jimin exclaims, trying to keep calm. 
“You guys came here because of me?” Taehyung pouts, changing the topic as you and Jungkook stare at him completely dumbfounded. What is wrong with him?
“Of course we did,” you assure him. “We would be here sooner, but Jimin had to call us. Why didn't you call us too?” you frown.
“Actually, the nurse called me. Taehyung gave them my number.”
“Well, that's great.” you mutter.
“Well, I'm sorry!” Taehyung mocks you, slapping his arms against the fluffy duvet he has thrown over one side of his body. “How could I know if you guys are not fucking somewhere behind our backs?”
“We don't do that!” Jungkook reacts.
The room is filled with craziness. 
Jimin sighs, deadpanning at his friend. You and Jungkook loudly gasp, your hand over your fast beating heart. 
The room is silent after that, Jimin's eyes directed somewhere behind you and Jungkook. You both turn around to see a nurse coming in, an awkward smile attached on her lips as she holds the clipboard with her. 
“We had to give him some painkillers, he was close to crushing his toes. He's a little drugged by now.” she informs you, perhaps trying to make you less embarrassed because of your friend. 
“I will come back and fill you with more information.” She sets up the clipboard on his bed, everyone bowing to her as she reciprocates it before walking away. 
“Ignore him, he's drugged.” Jimin apologizes to the female beside him, her eyes eyeing you and Jungkook as you shift on your spot. 
“Yeah, he's just babbling nonsense.” 
Taehyung scoffs, luckily keeping his mouth shut about this topic. “Yeah, by the way guys, Jimin brought his girlfriend. They were on a date when his friend was dying.”
“You weren't dying, Taehyung.” Jimin corrects him, giving him a stern look as the younger friend puts his lips into a thin line, frowning. “Ah, guys. This is Rin. Wanted to introduce you to her under different circumstances but well, babe–” 
Taehyung gags in the distance. “Knowing you, you would've kept her secret for another year.”
“This is Y/N and Jungkook. My friends.” Jimin grits through his teeth, giving a forced smile to his blonde girl. 
“It's nice to meet you. Jimin talked about you a lot.”
“Really? Because he really didn't–”
You kick Taehyung's mattress, ignoring his nasty glare as you both bow at each other. 
“Nice meeting you too, Rin. Welcome to the craziness.” Jungkook chuckles, “Jimin is a great guy. Hope this didn't traumatize you.”
She giggles, Jimin laughing nervously while you watch Taehyung who sulks in his spot. “No. It didn't.” she assures Jimin as she cuddles up to him. 
“Tae, how are you feeling?” you ask, focusing your attention on your sulking friend. 
You sit on the edge of his bed, brushing a few strands off his hair.
“Embarassed and like a fucking idiot,” he mutters. “I got so much attention at the gym. Fuck, I am used to attention but not that kind.”
“The most important thing is that you are okay, Taehyung.” Jungkook butts in, trying to sound gentle as he eyes his friend's new cast. 
Taehyung scoffs, “Does this seem fine to you?”
“I meant it that you're alive. You'll have this cast for a few months but you will be fine. You're lucky nothing worse happened to you.” Jungkook explains. 
“Fuck, I feel high,” he sighs, dropping his head on the pillow as he stares at the ceiling. He gulps, whining. “What about Hawaii? Fucking hell. I can't go.”
The realization hits all of you, yours and Jungkook's eyes meeting as you pout. 
“We can go next year.” Jungkook tries but you know it will only do so little. 
“We will cancel it too. There's no point in going when both of you don't go.” you tell him, Taehyung frowning as Jimin gives you an empathic smile. 
“No, you guys have to go.” Taehyung says, your eyes lifting up in surprise. But before you can say something, mouth already opening, he continues. “Everything's paid for. Jimin barely got the money back for flight tickets, I don't think I will get mine. It's too close to date.”
“Tae is right,” Jimin agrees, “You can still enjoy it without us.”
“I would hate myself if you didn't go there because of my clumsiness,” Taehyung admits, frowning. “Y/N you were so excited to see Hawaii.”
You stare, pouting as your eyes get teary for some reason. The entire situation is shitty as fuck and Taehyung's pale face is not helping. 
“You have to go.”
“I'm sure accommodation can be arranged just for the two of you. It's worth a shot.” Jimin says.
“We could try but I don't know…” Jungkook groans, sighing in disappointment at the fucked up situation. “We'll talk about it later. You're more important now, Tae. What can we do for you?” 
You nod, listening to Taehyung who sighs, cracking his neck. “I would die for McDonald's right now.”
Snorting, you shake your head at your friend. 
“You shouldn't eat right now, Tae. You have a good amount of meds inside you. It would probably make you sick.” Jimin reminds him. 
“We should just wait for the nurse to give us more information. Then we can figure it out from there.” you say, Jimin and Jungkook nodding in agreement. 
“This fucking sucks.” 
You make yourself comfortable on Taehyung's current bed, humming. “Tell me something about it.”
A few minutes later, a male in his mid-thirties (you're guessing) comes in. Wearing a white coat, you almost forgot how handsome some doctors can look, he eyes everyone in the room – mostly surprised to see so many people but then none of you are family members. He does question it but doesn't send you away. 
“...fortunately, Mr. Kim, your accident hasn't permanently damaged any of your nerves or bones. You'll have to wear a cast for a couple of weeks until it's healed, and after that you will need to be careful. But we'll take it from there and discuss further recovery steps.”
Taehyung looks like he's five seconds from dozing off or as if he could care less, you're trying to hold back your laugh while Jimin and Jungkook are the responsible ones. They keep nodding and looking seriously at the doctor using terms you've never heard before. You're sure none of them have and the fact they act like they do makes you want to laugh. Rin stays behind, sitting on the chair next to a window. You get a feeling she might feel not unwelcomed, but definitely out of her comfort zone. 
She sees four friends sticking together, three of them that she hasn't seen before. Honestly, it's not weird to see a woman next to Jimin. It is weird to see the affection they have going on, even though so far it has been pretty low-key. 
As the doctor finishes and informs Taehyung he's able to go home after they run some tests on him, he gives you a shortly lasting look. You smile, looking away in shyness as you're met with Jungkook's side-eyed frown. He has done that a lot today, you think.
You just innocently shrug, both of your attentions turned to Taehyung who starts to complain all over again. 
“You guys should go. You were on a date, right? Me and Kook will take care of him.” you tell Jimin, feeling bad not because they had to cut off their date, but you feel bad toward Rin. 
She probably wants to be with her boyfriend, it has probably been too many events for her tonight. You could sympathize with her and imagine what it feels like for her. Besides, there are three of you here. There's no need for all of you to be here. Taehyung will be fine. 
Someone just has to wait with him for more tests and results, so he's really safe to go home. Plus, he needs to be driven home as his ride here was an ambulance – something he's still complaining about how awkward it was when it arrived in front of the gym. 
“Yeah, go. They will take care of me.” Taehyung mutters like the child he can be, met with yet another glare from you. 
Jungkook tries not to laugh while Jimin frowns. “No. We could wait here and drive him to my place.” Jimin argues, turning to Rin. “You don't mind, right?”
“Fucking hell,” Taehyung whispers under his breath. “Why are you asking her? Just go and have your date.” He rolls his eyes at Jimin who clenches his jaw.
“I don't mind.” Rin tells him silently, assuring him.
“Somebody's gonna have to take care of your ass, Taehyung-ah. You can't be alone at home right now.”
“I'm not a child.”
“Sometimes you act like it.”
“Okay,” you butt in, standing up. “It's too late to be arguing in a freaking hospital. So get it together, both of you–” You're met with a glare from both of them. “Jimin wants to be here for you, so don't be childish Taehyung. They can have a date another time.”
“What she means to say is–” Jungkook starts, standing behind you. “We're all willing to stay here and help.”
Jimin and Rin have a silent conversation as Taehyung purses his lips and closes his eyes, ignoring his surroundings. Deep down, you know he wants Jimin to be here for him. He's just childish because Jimin is dating now and even though Rin doesn't seem to be a bad girl, it's different now. Suddenly, there's another person in his life and in their friendship as well. It awfully reminds you of the situation you had with Jungkook. 
It's still slightly different but similar in many ways. You know how Taehyung feels. The difference is that Taehyung also knows shit about relationships. He can't understand why Jimin, the guy who used to fuck purely for fun and enjoyment, is now dating someone. 
“Guys, could you drop off Rin at her house? She lives nearby, so it's not too far away.”
“Yeah, sure. No problem.” Jungkook responds. 
“Come on, it's late. We should all go to sleep. They can handle it from there,” you say, motioning for Rin to join you. “Don't worry, we're friendly and don't bite.” 
She laughs, some of her nervosity dropping.
“Yeah, they're too into each other to care about anyone else.” Taehyung comments.
“Y'know what Taehyung? If you don't want your other leg in a cast, you better shut up.” you warn him, feeling Jungkook's hand on your lower back as he shakes his head, silently telling you it's not worth it as an amused smile plays on his lips. 
“Which one?” Taehyung asks cheekily, having the time of his life when he watches your realization into disgust.
“Jesus, man. You should sleep it off.”
“That's not gonna help. This is Taehyung we're talking about.” you murmur to Jungkook.
Taehyung is about to say another nonsense, stopped by Jimin's palm as he gives him a warning stare before he walks up to you and Jungkook.
“Guys, please do not interrogate her. Okay?” Jimin pleas, sounding nervous as you and Jungkook share a knowing look. “No, please. Don't look at each other like that.” 
Little does he know it wasn't because of what he thinks it is, that you will go against his wishes, but it's the cuteness of how he doesn't want to ruin anything between them. You've never had a chance to see him like this. 
“Don't worry, we're gonna be on our best behavior.” Jungkook jokes, causing Jimin to whine but there's no time to have such a silly conversation. 
Jimin turns to Rin, telling her something before they share a kiss. You're ready to squeal at the cuteness as Jungkook tries not to laugh at you, cheekily poking you in your side while Taehyung looks grumpy.
“I'll text you and see you tomorrow, okay?” You hear Jimin say just as you bid goodbye to Taehyung, who's already too sleepy. 
Jungkook pats the top of his head before you leave Jimin with him and part your ways. But not before you hear Jimin's silent scolding. “You see? This is exactly why I didn't want to–”
You and Jungkook try not to laugh on your way out of the room, sharing a look in the hallway as Rin silently follows you, probably wondering who the hell has she just met. 
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“She's quiet.”
You break a silence by stating something both of you are thinking. Rin is not exactly communicative, kept it very casual and both, you and Jungkook, could get the hint of her not wanting to really talk. 
“She might've felt bad because of Taehyung.” Jungkook responds, a thoughtful frown making it on his face as he drives you through familiar streets that lead toward your home. 
During the slightly awkward drive to Rin's place, Jungkook tried to excuse Taehyung's behavior, thinking it's the main reason for Rin's distant behavior. It's not like she wasn't friendly or has done something out of place. She was just… quiet. She kept it simple, not engaging in any further topics. And regarding Taehyung, she just said it's okay and that was it. 
It was certainly none of you have expected. You tried to make the atmosphere lighter, forcing chuckles and grins for her own sake but she just didn't seem to care. You're not going to lie, that stung a little and you had to grit your teeth to prevent yourself from really asking her – What's up?
But then you realize, you have no idea how she's feeling. She met all three of you in the span of one hour and with Taehyung's insanity and even bolder mouth than ever, it has been a lot for her probably. 
It's not like the three of you are too much to handle, right? 
“You think so?”
Jungkook chuckles at your question, “Tae took it too far. Anyone would've felt uncomfortable.”
“Come on, he's on drugs–” you scoff out a chuckle as if that excuses him. “He wasn't fully himself.”
“He was pretty much Taehyung, what are you sayin'?” Jungkook laughs.
You smack your lips together, a laugh escaping past them as you gently nudge his arm. “You know what I mean–he would've behaved slightly differently if he wasn't in that state.”
“Hm, that could be true,” he mutters, driving with one hand as the other rubs his lips thoughtfully. “Maybe she's just shy, would explain a lot.”
“Maybe,” you hum, “Can you believe it though? Our Jimin has a girlfriend. Who would've thought?”
“Not me,” Jungkook jokes, quoting one of the famous sounds on TikTok which causes both of you to break into laughter. “I hope she's not terrified of us–or Tae.”
“There's nothing to be terrified of when it comes to us!” you exclaim, giggling when you see Jungkook's grimace of pursed lips and raised brows. “I don't know. I thought it would go differently when we would finally meet her. Not like this.”
“None of us expected it,” Jungkook says, “But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Taehyung is okay.”
“Oh god, he's gonna be such a drama queen once they release him. A cast on his leg?”
Jungkook laughs, knowing exactly what you mean when it comes to Taehyung. “He's gotta get used to it. At least for a while.”
While a short silence follows, one thought is rooted inside your mind which causes you to nibble on your lips. “Kook,”
“Hm?”
“This means we're going alone to Hawaii?”
Jungkook sighs, thinking through his answer as you watch the side of his face and how street's signs and lights illuminate his features. “If you want to.”
He stops at the red light, a few cars stopping behind you as you stare out of the window to avoid his stare once he glances at you. You see him in the reflection. His eyes momentarily watch your form, perhaps trying to decipher what you're thinking before he looks back ahead, staring at the road instead. 
“This is not how it was meant to be.” you mutter.
For some odd reason, you feel bad for even saying it. It almost sounds like you don't want to go with Jungkook. It's not that at all. Sure, the thought scares the fuck out of you – but Jimin and Taehyung were supposed to be there. All four of you. Making new memories and doing something new, something precious for your just as precious friendship. 
“We don't have to go. We could try next year.”
“No,” you shake your head, “Everything's paid for. It was already trouble enough to deal with Jimin's reservations and now it's the same with Taehyung.”
“Listen,” Jungkook sighs, the engine roaring back to life as the red light changes to orange. By the time it's green, Jungkook puts the car into drive and speeds through the main road. “I know it's not ideal, but I don't want you to go if you don't feel like it.”
“It's not ideal but–” you stop yourself, groaning at your stupid way of explaining your feelings. “I made it sound as if I didn't wanna go with you…” you trail off, somehow starting to feel nervous which is stupid. 
Jungkook stays silent. You're not sure if it's because he wants to listen to you or because he silently agrees. You did make it sound like that. 
“I just–would it be wise?”
“Wise?” Jungkook frowns.
“Well–just the two of us.”
Jungkook stares ahead before he throws you a quick glance. It takes approximately five seconds for him to release a chuckle as he shakes his head while you're the one who stares in confusion now. 
“So that's what you're nervous about?”
You roll your eyes, not being able to say anything. It's partly why you're so unsure about this. The last time you and Jungkook stayed alone… things happened. And while you would like to believe you're strong willed, there's a part of you that fears the exact opposite. 
It's insane how Jungkook gets it without you actually having to say anything.
“What? You can't keep it in your pants, Y/L/N?”
It's the cocky tone that makes your mouth drop open, but that single sentence is enough to make you stutter and you literally fight to get proper words out. “You're the one bringing that up!”
But Jungkook laughs, completely ignoring your evident attempt of trying to argue with his statement. 
“I didn't even think about that.”
“Mhm, mhm.”
He bursts out laughing, ignoring the way you glaring at his side with a huffy face. “What else did you mean then?”
“None of your business, Jeon.” you mutter, arms crossed over your chest as you fight back a smile when you hear his bubbly laugh next to you. 
“Oh, we're back to Jeon?”
“You're the first one that started with surnames,” you point out, giving him a playful roll of your eyes before you sigh and relax in the seat. “I just meant… maybe it's stupid but–we all know how it ended the last time. This is a vacation, Jungkook. We're gonna be miles and miles away. It sounds–”
“Couple-y?” He finishes your thought. He shakes his head with a gentle smile. “It sounds like fun to me. I'm still me, Y/N.” It's the way his last sentence sounds so gentle and vulnerable that it makes you feel like an idiot for even bringing it up. 
He's still the same Jungkook you've known for years. With or without intimacy.
You just had to talk about Hawaii one way or another. 
“Yeah–I know it sounds like that but I don't overthink it that much. I just meant–fuck, I guess it's a big change from our plans and just us going is…”
“You're scared.” he says, pointing out the obvious that makes you dryly swallow. 
You mentally groan and slap yourself. “How am I supposed to enjoy it when you will be right there?”
“Ouch.”
“No, not like that!” you correct yourself, groaning loudly this time. “You'll be a distraction.”
Jungkook laughs at that, “Distraction?”
“Yes!” you exclaim, growing frustrated but mainly from yourself and the fact you're talking about this. It makes you slightly embarrassed but at the same time it's a relief that you can talk about this so openly with him. “With Jimin and Taehyung there–”
“I can keep it in my pants,” he informs you of something you've heard many times before. “The question is–”
You inhale shakily.
“Can you?”
You stare ahead, eyes wide and mouth agape, tongue softly grazing your teeth.
Well–fuck.
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“Listen, just let me know how you decided.”
Jungkook says with a window opened as you stand next to the driver's side, shifting on your spot nervously. You haven't talked much after that. There was not much time since Jungkook drove here in five minutes. 
“I'm stupid for saying shit like that.”
Jungkook frowns, “Hey, you're not stupid. You're unsure and feel bad for the guys.”
It's not even about the temptation and the stupid break you came up with. It's the entire change of plans you've mentioned to him as well. You made it sound as if it was all about the two of you, but the truth is it feels bad to go there without Taehyung and Jimin. 
And that's exactly what you tell Jungkook as you confess your once said thoughts. This time you're more serious. 
“You heard them. They want us to go either way. Even when we don't think about the money and how's everything already paid for–you were excited to go there,”
He slides his hand off the steering wheel and places it on his lap instead. 
“We're going there to enjoy our vacation. It might not be as we planned it, but we could still have fun. And deep down, I know you really wanna go there.”
“I do,” you admit after a while. When you think about it, this is your opportunity to go. Although, going there alone with him makes you awfully nervous. It's like a huge test for the two of you, one you're not ready for. “You know the last time when we were alone–”
“Mhm,” he says, prompting you to continue.
“I don't wanna make it seem as if that's all I'm thinking about, or that's how I see you but I guess–”
God why is it so hard to put any words out?
“I know,” Jungkook says gently, seeing you struggling a little to properly explain the crazy train of your thoughts. “You wanted us to focus on our friendship. I know, Y/N.”
He's so gentle that you almost want to cry out and have him hug you. You're in a desperate need of a hug. But it's too late and you both had a long day. 
“You sure you don't wanna go upstairs?” 
Jungkook smirks and you groan. “Not like that, Jeon.”
“I feel like I'm gonna pass out the second I take a shower and lay in my bed,” he jokes instead, “You should go inside, it's getting colder.”
You bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at your surroundings. “I wanna go, Kook.”
Jungkook turns his head to look at you, immediately realizing what you're talking about. He doesn't say it but the question in his eyes is clear. You sure?
“Yeah, I made a big deal out of it,” You sigh. “But I really wanna go with you. It would be stupid for us not to go.”
“Okay, then. I'll have to make some calls because of Taehyung, hopefully he will be able to get his money back. At least for the accommodation. If you change your mind, just let me know.”
“I won't,” you assure him with a smile, “And Kook?”
“Yes?”
“It's stupid but… I don't think I've ever felt nervous about you before. The last time was when we first met. Or the first time we started hanging out.”
“I made you nervous?” He laughs.
“Mostly everyone makes me nervous when I first meet them,” you scowl at him as you explain. “We barely hung out after we–took a break or whatever we wanna call it.”
Jungkook snorts at the way you roll your eyes when you say it. 
“I make you nervous. I don't know how to deal with this information.”
“Jeon,” you grit through your teeth, “It's not you. It's more… the situation and all.”
He grins, biting his lower lip before he releases it and stares at the distant street lights. “There's no need to be nervous. No kissing. No sex. We're on a sex ban. Just two best friends in Hawaii.”
You groan his name and at the way he says it with an utmost grin. This man is not serious. 
“That's not what I truly meant but–you know what? Nevermind. Let's just end it here.”
Jungkook doesn't press any further, simply opting for a gentle grin and change of topic. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
You catch yourself wishing he would say something else instead of your name.
And that's your cue to turn around before silently wishing him a goodnight, telling him to drive safe and send you a message once he's home. Perhaps it's for the better that he stayed in his car. 
He waits until you're inside of the building before he drives out of the parking lot, his silver car slowly fading out until it fully disappears. What doesn't disappear are the mixed and crazed feelings that make you question every single thing that has been said. 
One thing you know for sure.
This vacation will be one hell of a ride. 
One, you can't prepare yourself for. One, you're close to shitting your pants for.
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Rolling your suitcase down the sidewalk, Jungkook offers to take it but you decline. He has his own suitcase and full hands, therefore all he receives is just an appreciative smile as you enter the airport. 
Namjoon was kind enough to take you and since your flight is early in the morning, he had the time to drive you here.
Sorting out your luggage and going through the security doesn't take too long and before you know it, you're seated in the airplane fighting for a window seat with Jungkook. He lets you have it, of course and slumps into the seat next to you. With a happy and slightly annoying smile, you make sure he sees it as he playfully rolls his eyes.
Since there are still passengers sitting and putting away their luggage, you do have a little time before taking off. You take that time to quickly video chat with Jimin and Taehyung. While Jimin's preparing for his work, Taehyung curses you out for waking him up. Though, there's a tiny smile that tells you that it's okay to go without them and enjoy it to the fullest. 
You share your earphones with Jungkook, so he can hear them too. 
“You guys–” Taehyung sighs, eyes slightly swollen with tiredness. “This sucks but enjoy it, alright? And send me pictures.”
“We will.”
“Yeah, Kook took his camera with him.”
“You and your camera,” Taehyung jokingly shakes his head. “I could've had such nice pictures.”
“You have… lots of them actually,” Jungkook snickers, “We will take some next time.”
“Be safe guys, I gotta run to work but text us when you land.” Jimin says, his screen blurry as he keeps moving.
“Will do.” you assure them. “I'm sorry you guys couldn't come.”
“Stop,” Taehyung cuts you off, giving you a grin that feels oddly comforting. “Have the biggest fucking fun. I'm stuck in bed, so maybe I will annoy you with my phone calls.”
“Great.” Jungkook mutters, causing you to nudge him as the four of you laugh.
“We're about to take off. I will call you, Tae. Don't worry.”
“I am not. What I worry about though, is the amount of times I could've gotten laid. Now I'm stuck here with this fucking cast on.”
“Dude, chill out.” Jimin laughs. 
So do you and Jungkook. Shortly after you all end the call, you and Jungkook snickering between each other at Taehyung's biggest issue. 
While the pilot welcomes everyone on board and informs them of the destination and other important information, you make yourself comfortable in your seat as you place your head on Jungkook's shoulder. 
Jungkook looks down at you, smiling as you catch his glance. “Ready?”
“Is there anything left for me other than to be ready?”
“Well, you could chicken out. The plane is not in the air yet.”
You smack his side, sitting up straight as you're met with the familiar sight of his stretched smile and white pearls. “Dumbass.”
“Love you too.”
You look away, making sure he sees the roll of your eyes before doing so. Though a small smile plays on your lips and as you take off, plane soon in the clouds, you use Jungkook as the softest and best smelling pillow.
The adrenaline and excitement of what's awaiting for you does not allow you to sleep. Yet you don't move an inch, finding comfort in the man sitting beside you. And when you ask him to play with your hair, he does it without any questions. 
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“Oh my god.” 
Is the first thing you let out as soon as you get out of the airport and see the beauty around you. The weather is not too hot for you to not have any sunglasses or hat on. You shield your eyes with a palm outstretched above them, stopping in the tracks as Jungkook tries to get a taxi. 
“Beautiful, isn't it?” Jungkook says once he locks his phone and puts it into the pocket of his shorts. “The place we are staying at is even more beautiful.”
Jungkook has managed to make a compromise with the owner of the place you're staying at during the next seven days. Since it would be for the best if Jimin and Taehyung got their money back, they made a deal on swapping apartments. This way the owner could still make a profit while complying with you.
That alone made you a little bit calm because so far, everything is going well and smoothly. 
“Our car should be here in five.” Jungkook informs you and ushers you to go in a shadow.
You obey, feeling already as if you're melting.
“What's our plan for today?”
You haven't really slept during the flight. Jungkook has booked a business class, something you've scolded him for because that's definitely something you haven't paid for when you sent him the money for your flight ticket. There was no need for that eight hour flight, but you both definitely made a good use of it. You turned on a movie and made yourself comfortable while eating snacks. Who knew having a drink on a plane can be actually so relaxing and fun at the same time?
You sit on your suitcase, squinting your eyes at Jungkook who pulls a cap from his suitcase and puts it on your head. 
“We're gonna settle in and maybe we could check the outside?”
“Sounds good.” 
The car comes around the time Jungkook said it would, an older man with a straw hat on welcomes you and helps you with your things. You both thank him and get inside – luckily – with an air condition on.
While he drives and gives you a quick tour of the road you're driving on, he answers any curious and informative questions Jungkook asks him. You sit silently, smiling at the man whenever he jokes around as you stare out of the window, appreciating the nature around you. 
And at that moment you think;
It's a good thing you decided to go.
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You've seen the photos of where you were supposed to be staying. All four of you. But since that has changed and the two of you couldn't go, there had to be some changes made. Jungkook informed you about that, so that's no news to you. It would be no use for you and him to share a place designed for four and more people. 
Surrounded by nature and sea air, there's a whole street of houses. It's so close to the sea that you can hear the waves in the distance and smell the salted water. Surely, the location and vacation houses are one of the wealthiest ones, and you just can't seem to pry your eyes at what's around you. 
You let Jungkook handle everything, after you've grabbed your luggage and bid goodbye to the driver. He talks to the owner, or the person who is in charge of the vacation house you'll be staying at. Shortly after, Jungkook is given keys and after waving off one last person, you finally get out of the sun and get inside. 
The first thing you notice is the chilly air hitting your heated bodies, the two of you sighing in delight before you both laugh. 
“AC is gonna be our best friend here.” you comment, squinting your eyes as they adjust to the lack of sun.
“Just don't overboost it, yeah? Or else you're gonna end up sick.”
You turn to Jungkook with raised brows, who simply just shrugs as he sets the luggage down. 
“Says the person who always has his AC turned on in the car.” you point out the obvious fact you both know.
“My immune system is much better than yours.” he points out back, showing you the tip of his tongue in a teasing manner as you shake your head, trying to hide a smile.
Bickering with someone who knows you well – or best even – is tough. 
Now that's done and the two of you don't elaborate to bicker any further, you take the time to look around. The place you've seen from pictures looked different, customized for more people. This house is just as spacious and even though you're standing in the entryway, you can easily tell more people would be able to fit in here.
“Are you sure we're at the right place?” you ask, catching Jungkook sweeping his hair off his forehead with head leaned back. Mentally sighing at the painfully attractive sight, you turn around and admire the place you're in instead.
That's a safer choice anyway.
“It's beautiful, isn't it?” he asks instead, confirming that yes, you're at the right place. “Come on, let's see how it looks in person. The pictures were pretty great.”
You wonder why Jungkook hasn't shared them with you once he was able to switch houses. For sure, you haven't had that much time to talk about it. Everyone was busy with their jobs, you included, and then the accident with Taehyung happened which caused this entire planning to get rushed. Poor Jungkook took care of everything – but you know he's the best at it. 
When your mouth drops as you make it to the living room, you notice Jungkook grinning at the side of the entrance to the living room since there is no door. He wanted it to be a surprise.
One that appears to be more than successful.
“Kook–” you stop yourself. The entire side facing the sea is a window wall, giving the best view to the beach and sea. 
The floor is a darker wood, giving the room just the right balance of colors since there are a lot of light colors. The white couch is huge, in the shape of U, similar to what Jungkook owns at his place. There is a big beige carpet underneath the coffee table and couch, making it more cozy. A beautiful chandelier hangs down with transparent bulbs which is undoubtedly even more pretty at night. 
From up here, there's a porch with a pool and your legs itch to find out how big it is. 
It's a one floor beach house, a modern yet cozy one as Jungkook leads you to the right to show you the kitchen. It's a medium sized, smaller than the one he's got and you wonder why it's even here considering you'll get your food brought from the resort. 
The house ends from the left sounds but you move to the opposite side, jaw dropping at the beautiful bedroom. First of all, the interior is beyond any words and leaves you breathless. You've never seen something so beautiful in person. You could cry. And Jungkook's joyful grin is not helping at all.
The bed is not against any walls. It sits almost in the middle of the room. There's a panel behind it and further away, it leads you to a spacious bathroom. There are two sinks and a huge mirror – the room matched in turquoise and white colors.
“Jungkook–this is–how much did you spend on this?” you ask, turning to him with a hand on your hip with a frown. “This was definitely much more than you said.”
“Don't worry about it.”
“Jungkook, stop. I'm serious.”
“So am I,” he shrugs, sighing slightly. “I paid a little extra but it wasn't much.”
“I don't believe you.” You narrow your eyes at him as he cheekily grins and shrugs.
“Sounds like a you problem.”
“Jungkook!” 
However, your scolding is cut off by him simply walking away. The bed is facing the beach, the same view as you could see in the living room. Palms surround the house which create a little shade from the burning sun. 
There are dressers where you could store your clothes and stuff, but you don't pay any more attention to it as you follow Jungkook back to the entryway with a frown settled on your face. 
“Jungkook, I'm serious.”
“And so am I, Y/N,” he says simply, dragging your luggage to the living room. “I swear I didn't pay much. The owner wouldn't really have any other place for us. I wanted you to see this beach.”
You raise your brows at him, trying not to crack at the warm and sweet gesture.
“Plus I didn't want to stay anywhere else. So be mad at me all you want, but I'm happy to be here and from the looks of it, so are you.”
“Yes, but–”
“No, buts. Now get ready, we're leaving in twenty.”
You stammer over your words, mustering to ask only one word. “Where?”
“Out. Unless you wanna stay in and rest.”
He says, stopping as he turns around to look at you with raised brow, waiting for your response.
“Ah–no, I am fine with going out.”
“Good.”
And he leaves to the bedroom, “Oh–I hope you don't mind the one bedroom. They didn't have any houses with more rooms left. But I can sleep on the couch.” he calls out from there.
When you don't respond right away, his head pokes out of the corner with a awaiting gaze. 
“Why would I mind?” you breathe out, feeling like you just got awestruck. 
“Uhh–you want me to elaborate?”
You chuckle nervously, scratching your forearm before you shake yourself out of it and drop the expression. “Yah! You wanted to go out! So go get ready too!”
“Yes, m'am.” he salutes and disappears behind the wall of the bedroom. 
You stand there, sighing to yourself and at your fast beating heart. 
He's not going to make this easy, is he?
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Happiness oozes out of you and as much as you were unsure about this vacation, you're glad the guys managed to talk you out of backing off. In the end, it was your decision to go without Jimin and Taehyung who are very much missed. Though, you're completely obvious to the fact it's going to be challenging. 
The heat and raging hormones are not making it any easier for you. 
You can control yourself. You can do that as long as there's no impulse from the other side.
This vacation might've not started like you planned, but it started wonderfully without your friends here. It's also a great chance of getting your friendship back where it was. While you're sure the history between you will always be there and it will never go away, you can try to go back and not get pushed to do something silly due to any sort of temptation. 
Because that's what Jeon Jungkook is.
Having him right here, next to you while you explore the Island is a great challenge itself. At first, you don't pay any attention to the mentioned temptation. You're fine. You talk, you joke and have a great time exploring the Island. You go out and eat in one of the restaurants, you have the best ice cream that is like the greatest present for your heated bodies. Taehyung and Jimin facetime with you during it, which ultimately makes you miss them more – especially when you show them around and see their pouty faces.
After that, you visit a few local shops – promising each other that you will come back and shop some souvenirs not just for you two but for your friends as well. The heat is too much to spend the rest of the day in a direct sun with no refreshments. And you didn't come here to just stay inside, so you both decide to go to the beach.
You do want to get the best of it since you're about to get your period in the halfway of this vacation. The timing sucks but you won't let it ruin anything.
Quickly going back to the house to change and pack things, you use the close proximity to the sea and settle on the beach there. You decide to walk a little further, closer to people and other tourists where different bars occur. There will be time to enjoy that privacy later. 
Although, being left with him alone is all the things you're scared of. 
Just focus on you, and your friendship.
“Is here okay?” Jungkook asks, stopping a few meters from the sea.
Looking around, it's a good spot. You're not completely surrounded by the tourists, more to the side where you can enjoy the shade and sun at the same time. There are faint sounds of music coming from the nearby bars, squeals of people's excitement and chatters around you. Beach waves are like a lullaby to your ears, confirming the reality of your presence here. 
There are kids as well, not too many but you spot a few in the distance as they beg their parents to go to the water already. 
“It's perfect.” Is all it takes for Jungkook to drop the beach blankets down. You help him to get it in the right place, making sure the wind doesn't mess it up. 
Air here is far better and you can't wait to get into the water to freshen up. 
“I'm gonna get us some drinks.” Jungkook announces once you settle in, pulling out a straw hat he bought while you were visiting different shops. It's the only thing he had to buy.
At first you weren't sure why, it's not exactly his style and you're sure he packed one of his caps. But then, he just puts it on you and shields the top of your head. You lean your head back to give him a look.
“You don't wanna get a heat stroke.” he shrugs, hands on his hips as he stares down at you.
See, it's very hard to keep it casual and think of Jungkook being an annoying friend. While you fully appreciate his caring, it's hard to focus in general. He has a stupid excuse of a button-up, so thin all his tattoos can be seen through the seen through material. It's not even the tattoos itself. 
He has it completely unbuttoned, showing off his pecs and abs as the thin material barely covers any of his skin. Jungkook has always been handsome, but you also never had to see your friend like… this. 
Iceland would've been a better option than Hawaii. 
So far though, you've been strong – even though it doesn't seem like it. While you're completely obvious to Jungkook's body and additional sight of his skin, you just don't allow your eyes to drop there. You keep them solely on Jungkook's face, hoping he doesn't see the inner turmoil you're going through.
“What are you? My dad?” you ask instead, poking the front of the straw hat with a lifted brow. 
Jungkook grins, “Don't want you to get sick on our first day.”
“You forgot to put sunscreen on me. And bring a swim wheel.” you comment grumpily. 
Something feels odd. It's not like you're truly annoyed by his caring. But looking at the familiarity of this conversation and overall situation, something sits on the tip of your tongue. It's not a word or anything that could be said. It's almost like a taste you can't quite describe. 
And when you see Jungkook who just laughs with his head leaned back, shrugging effortlessly at your comment, you realize that perhaps it's the fact that things really are like they were. At least right now. Jungkook treats you like he has before. He's caring, having that one particular look in his eyes you haven't seen in a while. 
Or perhaps you're just dramatic and you're seeing things. 
Being confused and frustrated at yourself more than ever, luckily Jungkook cuts you off from your never-ending thoughts before you can drive yourself crazy. 
“Ah, maybe I should've. We both know you're not too confident in water.”
You gasp, reaching for your sandal which you throw in his direction. He laughs, dodging it perfectly as despite your attack, he still reaches for it and puts it back to the spot, so it won't get lost. It's a detail but leaves you gulping.
“I'm pretty confident in kicking your ass.”
“Alright,” he laughs, not believing a word you're saying which makes you roll your eyes at him. “Whatever you say.”
He confidently backs away with a smirk, laughing when you flip him off and huff out in frustration once he turns around and walks to one of the bars. He slowly walks further and further away, yet you keep your eyes on him. 
You lay back, staring at the palm tree above you. The sunlight peeks through the leaves, creating patterns on your heated face and cheeks. 
When he comes back, you gulp down the fresh lemon and mint drink without properly tasting it. 
“...okay.” Jungkook says, watching you being halfway down the drink – it's alcohol free which doesn't make you look completely insane. “Wanna go for a swim?”
Putting down the drink, you open your mouth just as Jungkook decides to ditch the stupid excuse of a cover-up. He shrugs it off and tosses it onto the sand, brushing his fingers through his black hair. It has gotten long to the point where it sometimes gets into his eyes.
Standing up, you undo the small knot on your white cover-up that looks like a short dress. It slips down your arms and meets the blanket underneath your feet.
“Ready?” you ask, dropping down the silly straw hat Jungkook has gotten you. 
“Is this new?” Jungkook questions instead, pointing at your white bikini. It's a cute set. What makes it cute looking and pretty is the ruffled style, yet it's complimenting your body in the nicest way. 
“Yeah, I bought it for this trip specially.” 
“You did?” 
“Yeah, you don't like it?” you ask, looking down at yourself and adjusting your bra that's pushing up your breasts. Not in the overly too much type, enough to show them off though. 
In your defense, it didn't look like this on the model when you were ordering it. Luckily, you would say it fits perfectly. Jungkook's silence causes you to look up, almost finding the thought of him not liking it or thinking of it negatively scary. You mentally gag at yourself. Since when do you care what others think?
To be fair, sometimes you do – if those people are close to you and it also happens what it is about. But your choice of fashion matters only to you. You won't let anyone change the way you perceive yourself and your individual style. 
As much as you're independent in this entire matter, you would lie if you didn't say you don't like compliments. Also, there is something about Jungkook's compliments. You almost gag for the second time when just the idea of it makes your stomach tickle.
“Are you staring at my tits, Jeon?”
Caught red-handed, Jungkook's slightly scrunched eyes from the sun widened in a split second. “You don't usually refer to them as tits.” he comments instead.
You chuckle at the ridiculous response, “I usually don't have to refer to them at all. But you were staring.”
“Can you blame the man?” he shrugs, stealing a quick glance again as you give him the look he knows very well. The one where your eyebrow has been lifted for what seems like the hundredth time in the span of thirty minutes.
“Jeon, for this to work, you gotta behave yourself.”
Jungkook frowns at the nickname, “I prefer Kook better.”
“Jeon.” you correct just to annoy him. Deep down you cackle at the way his brows scrunch together in the softest way possible. 
“What do you want me to do? They're just right there! We were talking about your bikini, it's not my fault.”
“You don't have to stare at my breasts though.”
“Did it make you feel weird?”
“Well–”
“See? You don't not like it!” he exclaims, pointing at you accusingly.
“I barely said anything!”
“You don't have to, I know that look.”
“This is ridiculous,” you mutter. “Besides, you didn't answer. You don't like it?”
“Are you seriously asking me that?” he deadpans.
“Um–yeah?” you deadpan back. 
He sighs, “I'm not gonna talk about your bikini because you're gonna accuse me of staring.”
“I don't have to accuse you, you were staring!” you laugh.
You're not going to lie. It does compliment you.
Even though you're here to focus on the two of you, in a different way than you were a few weeks ago, you should hate how Jungkook's attention makes your ego grow. 
“You told me to behave, so I'm gonna keep my mouth shut.”
“Why?” you question, not doing a great way to show your excitement. 
“Oh, now you want me to talk?” he laughs, “Nah, you wouldn't be able to handle it.”
“Cocky as always.”
He shrugs, “I never hid it.”
You nibble on your bottom lip, “But no, be serious right now.”
“Oh, I have been serious this whole time.”
“Jungkook!” you whine, “Is it not too much?”
“If I told you yes, would you change?”
You stay silent for a moment before simply saying; “No.”
“Then no, it's perfect.”
“Jungkook!” 
He stays silent for a moment, throwing his head back as his eyes squint shut from the trails of sun hitting his face. “God, woman.”
“What?” you mumble innocently.
Since when do you care what anyone thinks? Jungkook questions mentally, trying to keep his thoughts straight before he gets the courage to look you in the eyes.
“You look beautiful.”
You stare, battling with hundreds of things happening inside you. The heat in your cheeks gets almost unbearable and you do what you seem to be best at. Running away and playing it cool. “Yah, don't say it like that!”
“Like what?” Jungkook asks, brows pinched in confusion.
“So seriously.”
“I am serious,” Jungkook informs you, making it worse for your cheeks and the turmoil that's happening in the pit of your stomach. Why did you have to open your mouth? “Now let's go into that fucking water.”
“Woah.”
“Yeah, woah.”
“What's bothering you?” you ask, trailing behind him trying to catch up to him when he suddenly turns around and nears the sea. 
“Nothing,” he says casually, dipping his ankles into the chilly water. You open your mouth but before you can say something that could potentially lead to a conversation you would eventually back out of, Jungkook splashes your heated body.
You gasp, finding him smirking. Before you can get him back for it, he runs to the water and dips his entire body in. He emerges out of it in seconds, the water reaching just somewhere around his hips. You watch droplets of water run down his entire body, hair completely soaked from it as he wipes his face. 
“Are you staring at my abs, Y/L/N?” Jungkook shouts, your eyes widening as embarrassment makes it onto your face. Can he be any louder?
You look around for a second, trying to see if someone is witnessing this embarrassing moment. There's no one that seems to care, besides a group of girls meters away from you as they seem to find a certain interest in Jungkook. You purse your lips, looking at Jungkook. 
“Y'know, if I should behave, so should you.”
“I don't feel like behaving,” you call out to him, watching him as he creates waves with his hands as he effortlessly runs his hands through the water. “They are just there, you know?”
You get him back for it, still watching him and witnessing his lips curling into a knowing smirk. “Oh, are they?”
“Mhm.”
“Get in here.”
“No.” you giggle, laughing when Jungkook grins and shakes his head at you. 
“I'm gonna get you.”
“Come here then.”
And fuck, he does. You laugh through it all, trying to back away as you promise him you will go deeper, though not fully out of respect to the sea you have. He doesn't listen. As soon as his arms wrap around your body, molding into his almost too naturally and perfectly. But you're caught up in the moment and in your giggles, hearing Jungkook's laugh as you squeal when the coldish water wets you. 
You cling to Jungkook's side, “There are no sharks, right?”
Jungkook snickers, “Of course there are. Somewhere in the sea at least.”
You nudge him, but Jungkook holds you close since he can reach better than you. He's also a way better swimmer than you. “Don't say that.”
“Look at those kids,” he says and points to the side. There are kids on their floaties, of course with their parents around. “They're not scared of sharks.”
“They could be dessert for all I care, I'm not gonna be one.” you joke, hearing Jungkook laugh as he doesn't allow you to inch closer to the shore. 
“You could be mine, but you wanted a break.” 
You gasp, tickling his side as he barely falters and just gives you the teasing grin. “Don't say stuff like that. I told you.”
“Alright, I won't.” he promises, imitating his lips being locked as he throws the imaginary key far to the sea. “I was joking.”
“Were you?” you ask, pretending to be teasing and amused but the truth is, there's a part of you trying to know the truth. 
“I guess you'll never know. I told you I'm shut.” he says with a grin like the annoying brat he can be. 
And for the sake of yourself, you decide to leave it be. You splash his face instead, playing it off like you seem to do often. For your own sake. 
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Jungkook has always been the adventurous type. You've heard all kinds of stories from Taehyung and Jimin, some of them back from Busan or from the times you haven't been present in their lives back then. Jungkook would be up for anything that could get him the thrill and although, there weren't that many opportunities considering everyone's busy lives – you could see it from his mere decision of being up to all sorts of fun that involves adrenaline. 
So you shouldn't be surprised he practically stuttered and almost jumped from excitement once he spotted a place where jet skis can be rented. You've read his mind even before he opened his mouth and dragged you there.
After swimming and messing around in the sea for a while, you went for a walk and explored the beach, and tasted a few good snacks. You should've known it's not ending with that. 
And that's where you ended up. Sitting behind Jungkook, both of you wearing safety vests and you clutching to his back, arms around his waist. You live in the moment, focusing on each activity the two of you do.
The sun is now setting down, air is still warm but with the sun slowly disappearing, it's not boiling hot. You're exhausted and your body screams for a good cold shower and bed. On your way back to the beach house, you walk in silence and enjoy the sound of waves around you. 
You're the first one to occupy the bathroom, taking the chance to not be in the presence of Jungkook's naked abs and chest. As long as you keep your mind and body busy, there's a low chance of you overthinking and letting your mind wander somewhere where it simply should not. 
Not wanting to dwell any further of how this might have been a mistake, you take it as a test to prove your friendship. Jungkook is a temptation that has grown over the few months you get to experience something you haven't before. 
As the water dribbles down your naked body, wetting every inch of your skin, you think it's too soon to want everything to be different or back like it was. Because it never will be. And for that, you're scared of what's about to come. There are things you can control and then there are things that simply will evolve into something. The feeling of the unknown and fear of ruining your friendship with Jungkook genuinely scares you.
But again. You think of it more positively, you have to or else you're going to lose your mind. Jungkook's attractiveness and the fact you're attracted to him won't go anywhere. At least not in the near future and it's something you need to come to terms with. Like you said, it's too soon to think of it any differently. 
While you're here to focus on your friendship, perhaps you should focus on yourself more as well. 
As you wash yourself in a nice scent of orange and vanilla, you apply a body lotion you've brought to make your skin soft. While you do that and start doing unnecessary steps as your night routine, one you definitely don't do when you've spent the day not wearing make-up specifically, you tell yourself you just pamper yourself instead of trying to look good for someone else. 
Your skin is glowing and hair almost dried by the time you join Jungkook in the living room, wearing one of your night gowns. 
He's on his phone, barely glancing at you before he takes a double-take and eyes you up and down. 
“What?”
You're the first one that breaks the short-lived silence. Any nightgown is a small portion of what could be considered as your sleepwear. Jungkook out of everyone knows that, because he's seen you in everything you usually sleep in. Back in the day, you would never get the courage to let him see you sleep in anything other than oversized shirts and shorts. Even thinking of wearing tank tops made you feel weird, especially if he god forbid could see your nipples peeking through. 
This white nightgown is beautiful, but by no means designed to make men salivate or suggest anything other than having something nice to wear. Besides, the material is thin and light which is perfect for this warm weather. Plus, you and Jungkook have agreed or not having the AC turned on unless it's completely necessary. Not only is it not healthy but you're also very sensitive to coldness. Getting sick on this vacation is just not on your list, therefore you're trying to eliminate that chance as much as possible.
He narrows his eyes at you, trying to figure you out and you realize it right away before he can even open his mouth and offer you any sort of response.
“Oh, don't get this wrong. I packed my best stuff on this vacation and I didn't know we were sharing a bedroom.”
“I haven't said anything.” he says, watching you as if you were a predator as you get closer.
“You didn't have to, it's all over your face.”
As much as you enjoy his eyes on you, which always compliments you – it's one of those moments when you hide behind confidence and ignore the warmth that spreads inside the pit of your stomach. There's no point in thinking how many words from him or simple eye-contact would it take for him to take matters into his own hands. Or more like you. 
But you can't think about that. You can't wonder about it.
“I would suggest wearing something different but I won't.”
He smiles and it's so brief you barely catch it. “And why is that?”
“Because it's not my problem, of course.” you tease. “I'm wearing this for myself.”
“I never initiated anything different,” he tells you, tilting his head to the side while he studies your face. He doesn't even lock his phone as he tosses it beside him. “You should sleep in whatever you're comfortable in.”
“I will.”
“Good.”
You both stare at each other, trying not to crack a good laugh. It's a weird moment. Something between joking, amusement and tension that boils. If this happened a few weeks ago, he would probably have you underneath him as you're speaking. And the image is so explicit that it leaves a warm coat all over your body and you have to take a step back.
“But seriously now, you don't feel weird because of this?”
“If I said I am, would you change?”
“Of course not.”
He cracks a grin, “Then why asking?”
“I'm curious. I don't want to make you feel weird and this wasn't my intention. Besides, this doesn't expose anything major–and you've seen everything–”
“I have and for someone who doesn't care and wears this for herself, you're awfully explanatory.” 
Your eyes narrow into thin slits as you glare at him, sending him a warning look that's easily met with a boyish grin from him. 
“Now that you're finally out and finished making yourself look good for yourself, I'm gonna take a shower.”
Jungkook's laugh booms through the room and bounces off the walls when he manages to escape from your leg aiming at his buttcheek. To be fair, you were there for longer than you initially planned.
“Are you making fun of me, Jeon?” you call out to him, trying to sound pissed as a comfort glazes your soul. 
“When have I ever?” He calls out back, already in the bathroom and hidden from any threats your legs might make. 
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It's been ages since you've had such a good sleep.
Exhaustion and the amount of activities you've done yesterday ultimately had a good share of it. The air here is different. The faint sounds of waves have been an additional part of your sleep. No cars passing by or city lights peeking through your blinds, or even occasional footsteps of your neighbors above your head.
You understand why people travel so far to relax. Sunlight peeks through the wide open window you've left and lets the chilly air get through the night. It felt so lovely that you fell asleep as soon as you closed your eyes.
Traces of sun touch your skin and make it warm, warmer than you've appreciated though and that alone tells you you're about to have another hot day ahead of you. Jungkook has briefly informed you of today's plans, always keeping in mind what you want to do but since you're more of a tagging alone vacation type, you just agree with whatever. 
You're here to relax and if you see something you would like to see or try, you'll feel open to do so. It's something you've assured him right before your body slumped into the comfiest bed you've ever laid in. Not even Jungkook's massive bed can compete with it. 
Or maybe it was the exhaustion all along.
Speaking of Jungkook, you tilt your head sideways to check on him. Not before you rub your eyes off the sleepiness. A sight of Jungkook's exposed back stares at you right back. Similar to the position you've just woken up from, he's sleeping on his stomach while arms underneath the white pillow as he hugs it to his face. You can't see his face and for a moment, you think it's better that way.
Whoever would see you right now, they would get a totally bad perception of the two of you. You look nothing like best friends who occasionally share bed.
Overthinking is not a huge part of your life. At least you think so. But ever since months have passed by and you've decided to take a break from the temptation laying right beside you, you feel like you've done nothing but that. Overthinking every second. 
You believe everything happens for a reason. And while you told yourself you're not going to overthink it and focus on your friendship instead, you do wonder if there's a true reason for why you and him ended up spending this vacation alone. 
Sure, Taehyung got injured and couldn't travel while Jimin couldn't go because of last changes at his work. It shouldn't mean more but just a mere coincidence that consists of bad luck and life. 
Like you've told yourself many times before, you will take this opportunity to focus on your decision of why you decided to take a break. Besides, you can't think about it too much and you do have to put lust aside, focusing on something that is far more sacred and important to you. 
You've no idea how long you lay there with your eyes open, watching the beautiful view out of your bed. You haven't checked your phone, something you would've done by now if you were at home. But not at the moment. You want to fully enjoy this and stay in the present – because right now it feels like you don't need anything else. 
You haven't realized how much you needed to get away. Perhaps the reason for this vacation is not to tell you something secretive, but it's for you to recharge and come back stronger than ever.
And maybe there's no reason for it. Maybe you should just freaking enjoy it and not overthink every second. 
You almost groan out loud, ready to spring out of the bed to stop yourself from thinking and being alone with your mind. The soft groan coming from the person next to you stops you and for some dumb reason, you catch yourself closing your eyes as if to pretend you were sleeping. 
Jungkook tosses around and stretches his limbs, groaning raspily under his breath as he turns to his back. He's back to sleeping, so do you think before you slowly open your eyes and catch the perfect sight of him doing the same a second after. He blinks, frowning slightly as if he realizes where he is.
Witnessing that is cute. Wait. What.
You widen your eyes and quickly shake that thought away. Calling him cute, even if it's in your mind seems illegal. Even though you've done that many times before. Years ago to be exact. 
“Mornin',” he rasps out, hand reaching to his face as long fingers rub the sleep and tiredness off those puffy eyes. 
Muttering the same greeting, you watch him close them for a moment as a soft groan makes it past his lips. “How long have you been awake?” he asks sleepily.
Long enough to watch you sleeping, you admit in your mind but it sounds ridiculous even there. You shouldn't have these thoughts anyway, no matter how honest you are.
“Just a few minutes,” you reply instead, rolling onto your back as you stare at the ceiling. 
A momentary silence has never been an issue with Jungkook. In fact, you don't find it uncomfortable but for some reason, having him so close feels weirdly familiar and odd. It's different now but it is not at the same time. You're both in a completely different state. While you realize it's in your head and sleepy Jungkook has no idea, you decide to cut off the silence and fill it with a conversation.
“It's already ten.” Your eyes drift to the digital clock that sits on the nightstand on your side. 
“Fuuck,” Jungkook sighs, rubbing his face again. “Already?”
You nod, glancing at him to find his arm tucked under his head, his face turned to you as he offers you a sleepy smile. Gulping down, you sit up and pat down your hair to make it less messy. 
“What are we doing first today?” 
Not offering him any more attention with your eyes, your feet slip into your slides easily as he remains silent for a moment. Your back burns, the traces of his eyes are without a doubt the reason for it.
“We should eat something first, then I wanna rent a car so it's easier to travel on the island. And then bungee jumping.” 
“Fuck, you still wanna do that?” you whine a little, glancing over your shoulder to find him grinning at your evident disappointment.
“You only live once.”
“That's a stupid reason to do stuff like that,” you point out.
You're all up for Jungkook having fun and trying new things he hasn't. However, sometimes your type of fun and interest differs from Jungkook's and once again, you're reminded of his adventurous self. There's no way in hell you'll go through that. He knows that.
“But if something happens to you, I want your car.”
Jungkook snorts out loud, your own lips curling into an amused grin as your feet pat into the bathroom. 
“Or no, your apartment will do.” you raise your voice as you call out to him, making sure he hears you. 
He does, along with the amusement and teasing in your soft voice. 
“How generous you are,” he calls back. “You wouldn't survive without me.”
You chuckle under your breath, washing your face in cold water. You're done within a minute, patting down the remains of it.
“Oh, here we go. Cocky much in the morning?” 
“You should know that by now.” 
You jump at how fast and close the answer comes. Jungkook stands between the door frame, leaning against the left side of it. Crossing his arms over his chest, you try to not stare too much at the display of his skin and muscles.
Reaching for your toothbrush instead, you focus on your task instead and stare at your reflection in the mirror. Your cheeks feel warm all of a sudden and you're sure it has nothing to do with Hawaii's warm weather. 
Jungkook watches you in silence. You're not sure if he still has a cocky grin attached to his lips or if he's simply just watching, but you know he is. You can feel it. And then you hear him stepping closer until he reaches for his own toothbrush. The familiar scent of him wraps around you once again as you give him a look with an arched brow. 
Is this his way of keeping his distance? 
Well, to be fair he never said he will keep his distance. Your idea of how this is going to work is simply to focus on your relationship, rather than the physical side of it and what was left of it. 
Although, you have no idea how him standing shirtless next to you is going to help that. You welcome the challenge though. 
You two ignore a lot of facts that surround you. So you continue to brush your teeth next to each other like it's the most normal thing ever. And maybe it is.
But back then none of you were shirtless or exposed enough that there is only so little left to each other's imagination. Is imagination even a thing here? 
You've seen every inch of each other's bodies. You don't have to imagine anything because you've seen it all. You've felt it all.
“Do you mind?”
You straighten up once you spit the remains of mouthwash. Jungkook turns on the shower, checking the temperature as he's visibly ready to take his morning shower. 
“Unless you wanna join me.”
It's the cunning smirk that slowly sneaks onto his face that makes you scrunch up the small face towel that's been used and throw it in his direction. It bounces off his puffed out chest and you hate how he laughs, ignoring your attempt to silently tell him to fuck off.
“Boundaries, Jeon.” You remind him.
“You never minded them before.” He continues to tease you and you snarl at him, throwing him a glare. 
“Now I do.”
“Alright, alright. Sorry.” He bows and you groan, flipping him off before you close the bathroom door with a loud thud.
His humorous laugh behind the door accompanies you long enough until you're far away to breathe it out. You'll have to do that a lot when it comes to Jungkook.
Your soft smile is caught in the reflection of a sparkling clean microwave and you quickly look away, ignoring the previously stated facts. 
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“Kook, are you really sure?” 
After you had breakfast, walked around a bit and rented a car like Jungkook said, you stand in a queue that's slowly but surely shortening. 
He would've actually laughed if he didn't glance at you and see your widened eyes, as you stare at staff putting a harness on people and preparing them for the jump. Whenever someone jumps with a loud scream, some people as a pair, he sees your breath hitching and stopping for a moment.
Of course he is sure. He's mentioned this a couple of times throughout the years but he never really had the opportunity to do this. So you're aware of not only his interest but excitement as well. 
Unfortunately for him, this is a hard no for you and even though you would do anything for Jungkook – go special lengths such as pretending to be his girlfriend – this is where you draw the line. It's comical. 
“You sure you don't wanna jump with me?” He asks instead, laughing when he sees your dumbfounded look. Is he serious?
He had to sign a freaking liability waiver that he's doing this at his own risk. While you're aware this is a standard contract for all these kinds of sports, you've almost thrown up when the woman handed it to him and he signed it. 
“Worth a shot.” he mumbles.
It's laughable as you stand beside him, shifting uncomfortably from side to side as if you were the one doing this. Meanwhile Jungkook is close to jumping from excitement as he watches other participants before him in a complete awe and excitement. 
“Have you not watched a horror movie when the most ridiculous stuff happens once people do this kind of stuff?”
He gives you a side glance, “Are you talking about Final Destination?” he stops for a second, “I don't remember there was a bungee jumping scene.”
“It's not about bungee jumping itself.” you point out, growing frustrated that he's practically just making fun of it.
“You should stop watching horror movies.”
Your response comes right away. “I would have, if you guys didn't force me every time.”
He snickers, “Y'know, for someone who's always very considerate and empathic, you sure know when to talk about the right stuff.”
“Talking about all the risks this includes is right,” you inform him. “I'm worried.”
“No one wants to hear there's a risk of a plane falling when you're about to board the plane.”
Oh shit, he's right. You know he is, yet you couldn't help yourself and hoped that he's going to change his mind at the last minute. Obviously, for your own selfish reasons.
“Flying a plane is different though.” You still stubbornly mumble, hearing another scream from one of the participants which makes you flinch. 
“The point is not,” he points out but as you open your mouth to argue, he grabs you by your shoulders and has you standing in front of him. “Stop worrying, I would do this with or without you.”
“Damn, how sweet of you.” you mutter, causing him to laugh. “Couldn't we ride horses or something instead?”
“We could still do that. After I jump.”
“Oh god, don't say it like that!” you whine. He laughs, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he hugs you to his side. 
“Taehyung would jump with me.”
“Taehyung would probably be drunk out of his ass if he happened to jump.”
You look at each other, laughing before the woman's staff calls out for Jungkook. She asks if you're jumping together and you wildly shake your head at her, stepping aside as you let her put a harness on Jungkook. 
He's grinning, watching her excitedly as she says all kinds of information about safety to him. You don't listen to that. For a moment you just focus on the happiness and excitement on him that has been evident ever since you stepped out of the car.
Their conversation is a little lost on you, therefore your brows are furrowed in utter confusion when Jungkook sits down and gets his legs secured. 
“Wait–what are you doing?” you ask. 
All people before him either sat when they were jumping or they looked as if they were lying, in a flying position. Jungkook puts a helmet on, shooting you a thumbs up as he ignores your ready to flip out. 
He's being hoisted up, upside down as he grins like a kid at you. 
“What the hell, are you crazy, Jungkook?” you yell, hands gripping the railing for dear life.
You thought this center did just those positions and Jungkook flying upside down just never crossed your mind, even though you know people jump like that too. 
“See you soon.”
“Jungkook!”
But before he can focus on your angry expression, he flies you a kiss and is let go. You yelp, wincing as you his body flies into the distance in a rapid motion. You can't help but watch, your eyes lingering on what seems like a dot down there the entire time. 
“My boyfriend jumped as well, a couple of times actually.” Someone says beside you and you don't look, you can't as your eyes stay on Jungkook. But from the voice, her accent tells you she's local. “If it makes you feel better, no accidents happened here. A few people threw up but that's it.”
You offer her a nervous chuckle, not really thinking Jungkook will be throwing up. In the worst case scenario, he would want to jump again. 
“See?” She stands closer, taking a closer look as they start pulling him up and you sigh in relief. “Your boyfriend is safe. Is he the throwing up type?”
You finally glance at her, seeing her tan face and curly hair surrounding it. 
“He's not my boyfriend,” you tell her, “He's my best friend. Psycho best friend it seems.”
She laughs but her eyes linger on you, looking as if she doesn't believe you. You subtly roll your eyes. You know exactly what she's thinking. You've seen that reaction many times before and by now, it no longer phases you. 
Everything else becomes a white noise and the girl beside you is long forgotten as the cord springs back to its original space and with that, they pull Jungkook slowly up. They help him balance. Letting go of the railing, you wait for him to move aside so he's not that close to the edge as it's another person's turn. 
But none of that matters and when Jungkook finds you at your original spot, he smirks. “Missed me?”
“You idiot!” you curse, punching his chest before you hug him. He laughs, chest vibrating as he hugs you back.
“I would jump again but I wouldn't wanna give you a heart attack.”
You smack him again, giving the girl that still stands there a knowing look. Jungkook's eyes move toward her for a moment, wondering who she is but his attention is back at you as you breathe out loudly. 
“You're crazy, you know that?”
He shrugs, effortlessly running his fingers through his hair. “I'm crazy about a lot of things.”
Rolling your eyes, you nudge your head toward the exit before he changes his mind and you'll be charged for a murder. “Let's go.”
He listens, but not before he tickles your side for a good measure, earning another smack. 
He's a crazy idiot for making you worry like that.
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“Awww, you were so worried about your Kookie?”
Baring your teeth at Taehyung's huge grin that displays on Jungkook's phone screen, he's a lucky person that you're currently sitting at one of the restaurants near the beach. There are too many people for you to tell him to fuck off. 
You knew the moment Jungkook decided to accept the video call, they would have a field day. Honestly, they make the situation way more dramatic than it was. Luckily for them, you know your friends and their annoying teasing that is purely raged by your annoyed reactions. It's what makes their eyes lit up until you put a stop to their charades. 
That's what you get for being the only woman in your inner and close circle. 
You glare at Jungkook, non-verbally asking him do you see what you did?
As always, Taehyung asked about your day and since he can't be a part of it, he likes to hear details. He doesn't mind it, as he assured you many times. You still feel bad that he can't be here with you. Jimin too.
And luckily for Jungkook, he briefly mentioned you almost shit your pants when you saw him actually doing it. He wasn't really making fun of you, until Taehyung took the matters into his hands and turned it into a teasing battle that you're a victim of. 
You lean toward the table where Jungkook holds his phone, facing you as he watches your interaction with Taehyung with amusement sparkling in his eyes. “Fuck both of you,” you whisper, making sure Taehyung hears it. 
He does.
It makes his grin even bigger. 
“You should've seen him. He jumped upside down.”
“Isn't that what people do when they bungee jump?” Taehyung asks, met with another huff coming out of you.
“Yes, but dozens of people before him didn't jump upside down.” you inform him with a sass, seeing him put his hands up in surrender.
“Honestly, you're like an old married couple. You scold him and he fucking enjoys it.”
Rolling your eyes, you adjust the napkin that's sitting on your lap. It's getting dark now. Until the adventurous day, you wanted to have a calm dinner by the beach. Tomorrow's plan is to enjoy at least a half of the day there, relaxing. No adrenaline sports.
“Are you even scared of anything?” you ask Jungkook, lifting up both your brows.
“I'm scared of many things.”
“Yeah and you're one of them.” Taehyung butts in. Jungkook rolls his eyes and so do you.
“You guys make it seem as if I torture you on daily basis.”
“Well, you can be scary sometimes.”
“You know what, Tae?” you press your lips together in a fake smile.
“Wha–”
You don't give him a chance to respond, ending the call. Jungkook snickers, pulling his phone to him as he checks the screen. You sit back with a satisfied smile.
“You know Tae… He would tease shit out of everyone and everything.”
“Oh, you're not so innocent either.” you point out with a chuckle.
He frowns, momentarily pausing as he reads out a message. “He just texted me–fucking rude.”
“Send him a kissing emoji, he's gonna know it's me.”
Jungkook shakes his head with a chuckle, typing something there. He locks his phone, putting it away as it has become a strict and unsaid rule to not have phones when you're out. To be honest, it happened naturally and you're guessing, both of you want to enjoy this time without the internet. Unless it's to make calls of course.
“Besides, you were shaking when I danced on the table. You were practically shitting your pants back then–do you see me teasing you for it?”
He frowns, “When?”
“The NYE party? Jin's cabin?”
Quiet follows for a moment as the mention of one of the very significant nights comes to the surface. Not even the waves in the background can wash out the slight odd vibe in the air. So much happened there.
“You remember that?”
“Faintly, but Taehyung filled me in.” you shrug.
“That was different,” he simply says.
“Different how? I was having fun and you begged me to come down.”
“Yes, because you were wasted out of your ass. I had all safety measures taken care of, while you were dancing, wasted wearing heels.”
You purse your lips.
“So don't compare those two.”
He doesn't sound angry, he's strictly informative and you wonder what he's so defensive about. Perhaps the memories from that night aren't exactly pleasant. You might've looked like you were having the time of your life, but you were going through hell back then. 
“Damn, alright. Point taken.” you mutter, seeing him roll his eyes but his lips crack a grin.
“Just don't dance on the table this time.”
“Why would I do that?” you laugh.
“To get back at me.”
It's silly. You wouldn't do that and he knows that. There it is. It's the innocent teasing you've missed. Innocent. That's what you need. 
You still reach toward the wine glass as you gulp it down. A tight smile is the last thing you offer Jungkook before you dig into your meal.
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It's the next and second day of you officially being here. 
Over the short period of your stay, it's crazy to realize how used to you've become to the new world around you. You and Jungkook have fallen into the routine of waking up without any alarm, not bothering yourselves to set one so you could do as many things as you can during your stay. 
Both of you relax and let things happen naturally, with a bit of planning because you still want to have fun and experience fun things. It's not hectic at all. 
Jungkook drags you to learn how to surfboard and while he's a natural talent (another of course), you're having just as much fun even though you're nowhere near Jungkook's level. You taste the most delicious food until you can't eat anymore, worrying you're going to have a stomach ache if you won't stop at the right time.
Now you're laying on the beach blanket with eyes closed, listening to the waves that are always there. 
Jungkook has gone to grab you some alcohol free drinks, cold drinks, after you both agreed on having them. It's been a while since he left, so you crack your eyes open and squint at the bright sun even though you've been lying in the shade. 
You look around. A part of people playing beach volleyball, tanning or swimming in the water, you don't spot him right away. Until you would recognize his figure everywhere and from miles away. He's bringing his drink with him, staring at the sand under his bare feet and you can't help but watch him the entire time. 
His hair is still a bit wet from swimming that he decided on earlier. Jungkook knows how to relax and you've seen him relaxing more than ever here. However, he still needs to get active somehow so every few minutes, he decides to do something. It's quite laughable and adorable, considering he would be lifting weights if he was back at home. 
He's passing by the volleyball court that someone provisionally made and entertained a bunch of tourists that were looking for a bit of sport and fun. You're supposed to go jet skiing with Jungkook tomorrow, so you will save that later and just bask in the sun for now. 
Your thoughts fade away just as they naturally came when you spot a group of girls, calling out to Jungkook which stops in his tracks and looks at them with curious eyes. His mouth stretches into a smile as he nods, looking around with drinks in his hand until one of the girls points toward the little table next to their deck chairs. He sets it there carefully before he pats his hands over his swim trunks. Another girl eagerly hands him something which you soon realize is a phone.
They pose for him as Jungkook snatches a few pictures of them. Sitting in the distance for a good minute, he keeps taking pictures of them as they pose in typical poses with the beach and sea behind them. 
It's pointless to mention they're all wearing bikinis. You're not one to judge and you would never criticize their bodies but shit, they all look good and definitely stand out with their different body types. They're hot and you don't have to be a man to conclude that. 
They chat for a while and you hate yourself for growing slightly annoyed at Jungkook's absence and clear interest in whatever conversation they have. Minutes seem like hours and you look away, watching your surroundings. God, you're pathetic. You act as if your eyes don't move in their direction every now and then. 
Until you're staring at the sea in front of you and notice Jungkook's nearing. He sets your drinks down. “Here you go, but be careful when drinking. It's cold.”
Cold? All the ice probably melted until you stopped chatting with the girls.
Pressing your lips together, you nod understandingly and take a sip so you bite your tongue and don't say something that could spiral into any sort of confrontation. What's the deal? You're not even mad at him. You're mad at him for being bothered. 
It's okay. They just wanted a group photo and Jungkook was passing by. No big deal. 
You sigh, giving him a smile as you look at the nice pink colors your strawberry drink's having.
“I met some girls on my way here. They're about to play volleyball. They ask me to join, you wanna join too?”
You freeze for a second, only your eyes sending him a glance. Of fucking course.
Can you blame them though? Jungkook's hot and has been catching women's gazes every time he comes out. They're shooting their shots and who are you to stand in their way? You've learned from your past mistakes when it came to Ester or another girl in Jungkook's life. Plus, you're on a vacation and they're strangers.
“Nah, you go. I'm gonna sit here and fangirl.”
He lifts his brow, “You sure?”
“Yeah.”
He eyes you suspiciously. “I'll stay if you want me to.”
You give him a dumbfounded look. “I'm not your mother, Kook. Go have fun.” you chuckle.
“Alright.” he nods, standing up. “I'll be right there if you need anything.”
“I'm all good,” you assure him. “Go kick their asses.”
He laughs, shaking his head. “They're girls, Y/N.”
He heads back to them, unaware when you mutter under your breath; “So?”
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At first, you thought there's no reason for you to dig deeper in things that don't matter and would show overtime. You've stuck to your own little world, relaxing and checking your phone every now and then. You've also watched the volleyball game. 
Interesting to watch, you may say. 
Jungkook's in his element and you're not exactly talking about the female audience around him. Some guys joined them too and you soon realize they know the girls, or at least are familiar with them. Jungkook's team is winning. No doubt there and you find yourself smiling whenever he shoots, and the ball hits the sand on the opposite side of the other team. You silently cheer for him.
For a second you think of recording him and sending it to Jimin and Taehyung. But knowing Taehyung, he would thirst over the women playing the game rather than the real meaning of the video. Perhaps you're a bit selfish because you definitely don't need to hear about how hot those women are. Because that's what they are. 
They're women.
But you should've expected this to happen. It's what you maybe wanted to happen. It's a great opportunity to fully move on. There will be many occasions and situations like this. You shouldn't be mad.
So why the fuck your lips turn downwards like you've been kicked to the stomach?
Jungkook comes back after running with everyone to the water to freshen up. He yells something to them when walking out of the sea, grinning from ear to ear. You feel like an idiot. How can you be so bothered when he seems happy?
“Hey, they want to jet ski for a bit. You wanna join?”
Jet skiing is fun, you would go but you stop yourself from nodding because of your own partially selfish reasons. “No, you go.”
“I know we're supposed to go tomorrow and we will–”
“Kook, it's no big deal,” you laugh, “We can go tomorrow.”
“You sure you don't wanna go? They're all nice.”
You're sure they are.
“Maybe I will join you later or something.”
“They wanna play volleyball again, so you can join, then.”
“Yeah, sure.” you smile, giving him a thumbs up as he gulps more of the drink until it's finished. 
You wave at him as he joins them again, going to rent the jets. You sigh, groaning silently at yourself. A part of you wanted to join them just to stick with Jungkook. It's okay for him to have fun with someone else.
Your throat feels tight when you see the woman sticking to his side. Her caramel skin glistens under the sun rays and she looks straight out of any male fantasy. You've seen so many different models coming from your model agency, but this one takes the cake and you're not sure if she's a model. 
Her curves are thicker than the models you usually see. She's wearing a revealing bikini, her breasts almost spilling out of the bra but it's not because of that. It's because she's gorgeous. She's different from Kiko. She's different from you.
You would guess she might not be Jungkook's type. But then he looks down at her, smiling widely as he fastens her vest and something kicks inside you. 
“Hey–” 
Your head moves quickly toward the male with full on abs, nearing you carefully as he chuckles when you give him a glare.
“The guy–Jungkook?” he stops for a moment, “He told us you're his friend.”
Friend. That stings for a split second.
“I am, and?”
He chuckles, not put off by your raised brow and dangerous eyes. The man's skin is tanned and his dark wet hair is pushed back, showing you his sharp jawline. 
“And I wanted to check on you and ask if you really don't wanna join.”
Oh god, he must think you're some kind of introvert that avoids all social interactions. Little does he know you did it for your and Jungkook's sake. 
You glance back at them, Jungkook sitting on a jet ski as the girl sits behind him, hugging him from behind. Your throat goes dry and you swallow down the lump that suddenly appears there.
“Officially, you don't have to if you do–”
You roll your eyes at the familiar sentence and you grow slightly annoyed at that. You brush any sand that might appear on your moisturized skin. 
“Y'know what? I was starting to get bored.”
His smile grows and he looks you up and down. Not in the disgusting and perverted way, but in an almost challenging way as he smirks. 
“What about my things though?” you look down at your phone. 
“We can leave it in the bar there. They always look after our things when we do stuff like this.”
“Always?”
“We're here for the third time.”
“We.”
“Some of our friends. But we always meet someone new too, so they join us.” 
Just like Jungkook right now. 
“Oh, so you're the friendly type?”
He chuckles, “Not always. Just for specific people.”
And then there's the look in his eyes. Challenging and telling you more than his lips are. Oh god. He's flirting with you. 
You grab your and Jungkook's phones, not wanting them to get stolen. When you straighten and balance yourself, he holds out his hand for you to take. You slap his hand, brushing past him. “Let's go.”
You hear his amused chuckle behind you as he guides you toward the bar. After your stuff is taken care of and the staff is obviously familiar with him, you join the others. 
“Guys, someone's gonna join us after all.” He calls out and you realize you don't know his name.
Jungkook is in the middle of conversation, grinning as he looks up curiously. His smile falls when he spots you and you almost lift your brow at him. 
“Cool!”
“Great!”
“I'm Nat, what's your name?”
All kinds of questions and reactions are thrown at you. Welcoming and warm which you're glad for.
You introduce yourself, feeling a hand on the back of your back, not going any lower out of respect as the man who brought you here, guides you to one of the jets. 
“Mind sharing this one with me, Y/N?” he asks, handing you the vest. 
“No,” you say lightly and feigning innocence. “Do you?”
“Of course not.”
“You could at least tell me your name. Y'know, in case something happens to me.”
“What's fun in that?”
“So you're also the mysterious type?” Cocking your brow at him in challenge, he smirks. 
“Gabriel.”
He excuses himself for a minute, to grab his own vest as you put the one he handed you on. 
“I thought you didn't wanna go.” Jungkook suddenly says, standing right in front of you. He lightly nudges your hands as he helps you to fasten up your vest. 
You stare at him, “Changed my mind.”
“You could've told me. Wanna ride with me?”
“You already have someone to ride with.” you tell him, chuckling as you're trying your best to appear light and carefree.
“I see you do too. Doesn't mean we can change it up.”
You shrug, “He offered.”
He frowns, his eyes dropping all over your face as they stop on your lips for a quick moment. “So, you cool with that?”
“Yeah,” you say, swallowing. “It's okay to meet new people.”
His eyes snap to yours. He watches you, causing you to almost squirm in his never flattering eye contact. “What do you mean?”
Fuck, you should've stay silent. 
“Well, we talked about this earlier. We're not–it's probably for the best.”
You watch his tongue poke the inside of his cheek, a knowing look crossing over his features as he momentarily looks away before he chuckles. He rubs his nose as he backs away. 
“Okay.”
Him going back to the woman, watching her arms around his waist when they haven't even set off yet, is not the most disturbing feeling. As Gabriel joins you and you sit in the same position like Jungkook and the woman, you can't help but realize that none of this seems okay.
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a/n: Oh god. It's already out! It's been a while since I wrote an author's note & to be honest, there's so much that I wanna say. At first, I wasn't really sure what – minus of course to thank you for your understanding and patience which unfortunately doesn't involve everyone. I'm glad that this chapter is finally out! To think it was supposed to be out in summer (and it's already close to winter 🥴) and even earlier than that, is insane!! 
I don't wanna go into too much detail and make this a/n too long, most of you probably have been hanging around for a while to know everything that has happened since the last update. Life has been busy but I don't think about it negatively, even tho it obviously affects my writing schedule. I needed the hectic lifestyle. Sometimes I felt too exhausted, but I would rather take something positive from it than think of it negatively, especially since I wasn't in a good space before. 
I wanna apologize for taking so long. I know y'all have been waiting. For me, it didn't even feel that long which shows just how quickly everything has been happening in my life. There are so many things that affected it and I could literally make a list (lol) but I'm sure most of you know a good amount of it, since I've been as honest as I could've been. I know I couldn't control 99% of how busy I got. There were times when I wanted to write badly but I barely could even think of it. There were also times when I could've found inspiration and time, but then one look at my Wattpad profile or my inbox made me just lock my phone and do other things. 
I don't want to make this a/n to give off a negative vibe, because there is so much to be happy about, but I just wish some people could be more understanding. Some of them have been extremely toxic, not making it any easier for me. I'm slightly sad to admit that if it wasn't for my passion and love for this story, I probably would just pack it off because the hate and messages I got are insane. I know me saying this won't change anything – I've tried multiple times. But please for love of God, stop pressuring writers and gaslight them, or many other unnecessary and disgusting things.
But putting this aside, I wanna thank everyone who's shown me love and support – made all of this worth it. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter, there is more to come and I've already started working on the next one. Please, don't ask when and how much. I don't know. I'll do my best. My goal is to post at least once a month, but this doesn't mean it will happen. I've learned not to plan much because I don't wanna disappoint anyone. So I'll just work on my stories privately and once I have something to share, I'll inform you 😊
So, yeah, that's it guys! I'm glad to be back with another chapter and hopefully, there won't be such a long wait anymore! I really wish this won't happen again for multiple reasons. Thank you for cheering me on and letting me know there are such great readers like you. I'll be forever thankful. During this story and after it finishes as well!
If you've enjoyed this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee☕️: https://ko-fi.com/personasintro ♡ Teaser for 59 along with a special unfinished scene (that didn't make it in 58) will be posted there!
goal: 2k notes 🌙
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© 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨 (𝐧𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝) | 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭: @kithtaehyung
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