#have not written a text post in a long time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thunderboltfire · 2 months

Text

I have a lot of complicated feelings when it comes to what Neflix has done with the Witcher, but my probably least favourite is the line of argumentation that originated during shitstorms related to the first and second season that I was unlucky to witness.

It boils down to "Netflix's reinterpretation and vision is valid, because the Witcher books are not written to be slavic. The overwhelming Slavic aestetic is CDPR's interpretation, and the setting in the original books is universally European, as there are references to Arthurian mythos and celtic languages" And I'm not sure where this argument originated and whether it's parroting Sapkowski's own words or a common stance of people who haven't considered the underlying themes of the books series. Because while it's true that there are a lot of western european influences in the Witcher, it's still Central/Eastern European to the bone, and at its core, the lack of understanding of this topic is what makes the Netflix series inauthentic in my eyes.

The slavicness of the Witcher goes deeper than the aestetics, mannerisms, vodka and sour cucumbers. Deeper than Zoltan wrapping his sword with leopard pelt, like he was a hussar. Deeper than the Redanian queen Hedvig and her white eagle on the red field.

What Witcher is actually about? It's a story about destiny, sure. It's a sword-and-sorcery style, antiheroic deconstruction of a fairy tale, too, and it's a weird mix of many culture's influences.

But it's also a story about mundane evil and mundane good. If You think about most dark, gritty problems the world of Witcher faces, it's xenophobia and discrimination, insularism and superstition. Deep-seated fear of the unknown, the powerlessness of common people in the face of danger, war, poverty and hunger. It's what makes people spit over their left shoulder when they see a witcher, it's what makes them distrust their neighbor, clinging to anything they deem safe and known. It's their misfortune and pent-up anger that make them seek scapegoats and be mindlessly, mundanely cruel to the ones weaker than themselves.

There are of course evil wizards, complicated conspiracies and crowned heads, yes. But much of the destruction and depravity is rooted in everyday mundane cycle of violence and misery. The worst monsters in the series are not those killed with a silver sword, but with steel. it's hard to explain but it's the same sort of motiveless, mundane evil that still persist in our poorer regions, born out of generations-long poverty and misery. The behaviour of peasants in Witcher, and the distrust towards authority including kings and monarchs didn't come from nowhere.

On the other hand, among those same, desperately poor people, there is always someone who will share their meal with a traveller, who will risk their safety pulling a wounded stranger off the road into safety. Inconditional kindness among inconditional hate. Most of Geralt's friends try to be decent people in the horrible world. This sort of contrasting mentalities in the recently war-ridden world is intimately familiar to Eastern and Cetral Europe.

But it doesn't end here. Nilfgaard is also a uniquely Central/Eastern European threat. It's a combination of the Third Reich in its aestetics and its sense of superiority and the Stalinist USSR with its personality cult, vast territory and huge army, and as such it's instantly recognisable by anybody whose country was unlucky enough to be caught in-between those two forces. Nilfgaard implements total war and looks upon the northerners with contempt, conscripts the conquered people forcibly, denying them the right of their own identity. It may seem familiar and relevant to many opressed people, but it's in its essence the processing of the trauma of the WW2 and subsequent occupation.

My favourite case are the nonhumans, because their treatment is in a sense a reminder of our worst traits and the worst sins in our history - the regional antisemitism and/or xenophobia, violence, local pogroms. But at the very same time, the dilemma of Scoia'Tael, their impossible choice between maintaining their identity, a small semblance of freedom and their survival, them hiding in the forests, even the fact that they are generally deemed bandits, it all touches the very traumatic parts of specifically Polish history, such as January Uprising, Warsaw Uprising, Ghetto Uprising, the underground resistance in WW2 and the subsequent complicated problem of the Cursed Soldiers all at once. They are the 'other' to the general population, but their underlying struggle is also intimately known to us.

The slavic monsters are an aestetic choice, yes, but I think they are also a reflection of our local, private sins. These are our own, insular boogeymen, fears made flesh. They reproduce due to horrors of the war or they are an unprovoked misfortune that descends from nowhere and whose appearance amplifies the local injustices.

I'm not talking about many, many tiny references that exist in the books, these are just the most blatant examples that come to mind. Anyway, the thing is, whether Sapkowski has intended it or not, Witcher is slavic and it's Polish because it contains social commentary. Many aspects of its worldbuilding reflect our traumas and our national sins. It's not exclusively Polish in its influences and philosophical motifs of course, but it's obvious it doesn't exist in a vacuum.

And it seems to me that the inherently Eastern European aspects of Witcher are what was immediately rewritten in the series. It seems to me that the subtler underlying conflicts were reshaped to be centered around servitude, class and gender disparity, and Nilfgaard is more of a fanatic terrorist state than an imposing, totalitarian empire. A lot of complexity seems to be abandoned in lieu of usual high-fantasy wordbuilding. It's especially weird to me because it was completely unnecessary. The Witcher books didn't need to be adjusted to speak about relevant problems - they already did it! The problem of acceptance and discrimination is a very prevalent theme throughout the story! They are many strong female characters too, and they are well written. Honestly I don't know if I should find it insulting towards their viewers that they thought it won't be understood as it was and has to be somehow reshaped to fit the american perpective, because the current problems are very much discussed in there and Sapkowski is not subtle in showing that genocide and discrimination is evil. Heck, anyone who has read the ending knows how tragic it makes the whole story.

It also seems quite disrespectful, because they've basically taken a well-established piece of our domestic literature and popular culture and decided that the social commentary in it is not relevant. It is as if all it referenced was just not important enough and they decided to use it as an opportunity to talk about the problems they consider important. And don't get me wrong, I'm not forcing anyone to write about Central European problems and traumas, I'm just confused that they've taken the piece of art already containing such a perspective on the popular and relevant problem and they just... disregarded it, because it wasn't their exact perspective on said problem.

And I think this homogenisation, maybe even from a certain point of view you could say it's worldview sanitisation is a problem, because it's really ironic, isn't it? To talk about inclusivity in a story which among other problems is about being different, and in the same time to get rid of motifs, themes and references because they are foreign? Because if something presents a different perspective it suddenly is less desirable?

There was a lot of talking about the showrunners travelling to Poland to understand the Witcher's slavic spirit and how to convey it. I don't think they really meant it beyond the most superficial, paper-thin facade.

#The witcher #Sorry if its convoluted I just got reminded of something and it made me a little angry #and as I had this conversation a lot of times I've decided to put it into written text #sorry about being bitter #but these are some of my favourite books and I'm still upset when I get reminded how badly they were treated in the recent adaptation #I'm not saying you should never change anything #But it's good to have enough background to understand why some things are the way they are in the original #and to understand what the source material is about #we don't talk about particular character's looks or something (altough I feel they could care more about it too)#but central themes tropes and motifs #long post #it may seem like I'm talking from a high horse here #people are welcome to interpret literature however they want #Nobody has a monopol on themes #I just think that in this particular case the cultural context influences the worldbuilding #and if changed it doesn't have the same impact anymore #meta

154 notes · View notes

hallwyeoo · 1 year

Text

Ellie’s memory of the golfing scene and what it tells us about her.

🚨spoilers for tlou2🚨

I think Ellie’s flashback to Joel’s death is very telling of how she internalized the event and the meaning she applied to his death. It’s also a good demonstration of her relationship to autonomy. Let’s break down the elements that were inconsistent with the actual event:

The stairs/hallway are much longer than they were. This suggests a sense of helplessness, an inability to get there fast enough. Joel is constantly out of reach.

There is blood on the floor outside of the door. Not entirely certain on this one but my hunch is that she blames herself for not seeing more obvious signs of violence/not knowing something was wrong sooner.

The door is locked, another roadblock in her path to Joel. She can’t access him, she can’t help, he needs her and she isn’t there.

Most importantly. Joel yells “Ellie, help me” (which he didn’t in the actual scene, he just screams. He doesn’t say a word in the actual scene)

Ellie hearing Joel scream for her help, calling for her while being horribly beaten, and her being repeatedly impeded on her way to him suggests that what she took away from his death is that she wasn’t enough. They always helped each other, always had each others backs, always got up. Ellie views his death as a failure. She was too slow, too weak, not smart enough to save him. She failed him when he needed her most. She is absolutely helpless to save him, just like she was helpless to save Riley, Tess, Sam, and Jessie (and Marlene, and humanity, and and and-).

Once again, Ellie makes a decision (staying with Riley, going to the fireflies, staying with Joel, being the cure, trying to forgive Joel) and once again her autonomy and ability to find closure is ripped from her.

This is the inciting incident of tlou pt2, this is the moment where Ellie’s whole world shatters the same way Joel’s did at the start of pt1. Ellie enters into the same cycle (which I like to call the “Joel cycle” because… yeah.) that he did, and throughout pt2 she stays in the “20 years later” phase of the cycle. She is changed, she has lost her light, lost what she fought for. She lost her chance to genuinely forgive Joel and rebuild their relationship. She is stuck in a gruelling and violent world that she has no anchor in, at least not anymore. His death is so sudden and so incredibly violent that it practically gave her (and me as well, tbh) whiplash. She’s in a state of total shock.

On another devastating note, this is one of the three times in tlou that we see Ellie beg (that I remember). The first is begging Joel to get up at the university of Eastern Colorado, the second is begging him to get up and for Abby to stop, and the third is begging Abby to not kill Dina because she’s pregnant. (Two times she begs Joel to get up, one time he doesn’t. Two times she begs Abby to spare her family and one time she does. What a beautifully haunting contrast)

To wrap up, every person creates an internal narrative, a story of their life that is crafted from their context and lived experiences. The meaning we derive from those experiences doesn’t always reflect the truth, and that can sometimes bite us in the ass majorly when we experience a traumatic event. We tend to want to find someone or something to assign blame to, some reason or rationale to why it happened. We tell stories. We write them in our minds about ourselves and what happens to us and what that says about us.

But Ellie is wrong. Joel’s death happened in response to a conscious and willing choice he made. It is in no way her fault, and there was absolutely no way for her to know or to stop what was happening. I think Ellie knows that much on an intellectual level, It just doesn’t change how devastated she is over the whole event. It can’t change the fact that she FEELS as though this was all her fault, that Joel did what he did to save her, that she could have saved him. That she should have.

#this isn’t a new thought #like I’m p much just stating what happened in the game #this is not some super deep meta analysis of tlou #it’s just.#Ellie’s relationship to autonomy is so so so good #ellie the last of us #joel the last of us #ellie williams #joel miller #tlou series #tlou show #tlou1 #tlou spoilers #tlou analysis #I have SO MANY drafts that are like. walls of text #we’re talking Great Wall of China long #tlou2 #marlene the last of us #marlene tlou #basically what I said in previous posts about how ellie picked up Joel’s stoic attitude and emotional constipation.#ellie’s screams lolol. my heart breaking in real time.#joel goes golfing HD!!!#the way her voice breaks as she begs… OWIE #Neil druckmann needs to pay for my therapy fr!!#I edited this because it had some… really bad grammatical errors #syntax??? what’s that????#anyway normally I don’t put much thought or effort into my actual wording of Tumblr posts #because like maybe 10 people will see it. who cares.#but this one is one I actually care a bit about and this whole thing could be written about in so much more depth.#so I went in and tried to clean it up a bit and added some thoughts.

305 notes · View notes

panharmonium · 5 months

Note

Hi! I love your Naruto thoughts and meta posts with all my heart and I want to ask your thoughts on something that has been on my mind literally since I was 13: what do you think about the relationship between Sasuke and Sakura? I went from being a hardcore shipper when I was a teenager, to being against any romantic relationship in Naruto after finishing the anime when I was in my early twenties. Nowadays I'm very into platonic love and depictions of friendship and I think the anime's obsession with forcing the "romantic interest" curse upon the main female character robbed us of... so much. There are a few wonderful moments in the anime where Sasuke and Sakura acknowledge each other, but because she's always "the girl with the crush", her actions are so often interpret as irrational or selfish by the fandom.

Hi @riemmetric! It's great to talk to you again! Sorry it's taken me so long to answer this; RL has been making demands of me lately and it took me way longer to finish writing this up than I wanted it to (then again, I knew from the minute I read your original ask that my reply was going to get long, so I suppose I should have predicted a delay XD)

It's funny, my sister once asked me to choose between Sasuke or Sakura for an “unpopular opinion” meme, and I ended up doing Sasuke solely because I think the negative fandom opinions about Sakura are so unhinged and divorced from the actual text that I wouldn’t even know where to start. People are entitled to dislike whatever characters they want, obviously, but there are some fandom takes that are, for me, so obviously rooted in bad faith viewings/readings that there’s no urge in me to discuss them. That said, since you asked, I’m happy to go into my own thoughts on this a bit, with the disclaimer for other potential readers that I only write about fandom things for my own personal enjoyment, not as a contribution to The Discourse. If you don’t like Sakura, great! I have no interest in changing your mind. Please consider this a sincere invitation to scroll on by and go enjoy whatever parts of the fandom appeal to you.

In general terms: I love Sasuke and Sakura’s relationship as much as I love all of the relationships in Team 7. If we’re talking about them specifically as a romantic couple, then I probably fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, because I do like them together in a post-canon (to be clear: non-Boruto) setting, after time has passed and they’ve continued to develop individually and reconnect with each other, but I also wouldn’t exactly call myself an intense “shipper,” in the sense that I have no interest in pulling things out from the text and incorrectly citing them as evidence that Sasuke has hidden romantic feelings for her during the canon period. He cares about her in the canon period, just like he cares about Naruto and Kakashi. That’s not up for interpretation; it’s the text. But Sasuke during the canon time period does not demonstrate specifically romantic interest in anyone.

[A note before people who might ship Sasuke with Someone Else emerge to rail against this statement - please just scroll past and continue enjoying fandom in whatever way is most fun for you. It is cool to ship whatever fanon thing you want; I think that’s great! But earnestly citing any loving or emotional thing Sasuke does re: various characters in this story (yes, Sakura included) as indicative of specifically romantic love isn’t supported by the text. I know there are always going to be enormous subsets of any fandom who insist that it is, and I'm certainly not going to barge into anyone else's space to complain about that (because other people having fun together is harmless and none of my business), but I'm not obligated to indulge it on my own blog, either.]

Anyway, that said - the reason why I love Sakura and Sasuke’s relationship (from here on out I’ll use “relationship” in a general, non-romantic sense) is precisely because Sakura isn’t just “the girl with the crush.” Sakura has an arc when it comes to Sasuke, and its trajectory moves in the exact opposite direction of “irrational” or “selfish.” She specifically goes from “the girl with the crush” to “the girl who steels herself and tries to put her personal feelings for Sasuke aside for the greater good” to “the girl who knows she can’t put her feelings aside, but who also knows full well that Sasuke doesn’t reciprocate them, and who still wants to save him regardless, because he matters to her as a person and a friend.”

[I'm putting the rest of this under a cut to save everyone's dash, and also to emphasize once again that this is a personal post on my personal blog which I wrote in response to a question from a personal acquaintance, the full content of which no one is obligated to read. I am not sending this post to random strangers and forcing them to look at it. I'm not even putting it in the character tags. I'm typing it up on my own blog and putting it under a cut. If you already know that you don't like Sakura, but you still click the link/read the post and then feel an urge to comment and complain, I am going to copy-paste this disclaimer and remind you that I specifically recommended that you scroll past and go have fun with fandom in your own way. Thanks in advance for responsibly curating your own fandom experience!]

So, from the top:

1. the girl with the crush

Sakura is, obviously, completely obsessed with Sasuke at the beginning of Part 1. She’s also deeply clueless about him and his history (bizarre though it is, the story seems to indicate that she initially doesn’t know what happened with his family, the same way young!Obito is initially clueless about Kakashi’s father). But what I like about Sakura and Sasuke’s Part 1 relationship is how this changes over time.

The critical scene that kicks this off happens right at the beginning of the manga, when she and Sasuke are talking by that bench - she complains about Naruto and blames his behavior on him being all alone/having no family to scold him; and even says she’s jealous that he doesn’t have parents to nag him all the time. This obviously triggers an outburst from Sasuke, who tells her she has no idea what loneliness means and that she “makes him sick”/she’s “annoying” (importantly, the exact same thing Sakura said to Naruto in anger earlier that day), which in turn prompts Sakura to reassess herself and wonder whether she’s been making Naruto feel this terrible all the time, too:

From that point on, it’s a process of her putting little pieces together. She still has a MAJOR crush, and she still acts like a twelve year-old, but as we approach the end of Part I, Sakura actually has a more accurate grasp on Sasuke’s current state of mind than Naruto does. Naruto is initially excited to fight Sasuke on top of the hospital, because he feels like Sasuke’s finally acknowledging him, whereas Sakura is the one who immediately recognizes that something is wrong about this situation. She is also the one who, after this fight, is concerned that Sasuke is really unwell and might do something drastic like run off in pursuit of the power Orochimaru promised him, but when she communicates this to Naruto, he assures her that this would NEVER happen:

(Sakura isn't convinced, though, because she goes to monitor the exit out of the village anyway.)

I’m not criticizing Naruto for his response here. I ADORE hearing him say that Sasuke is too strong to need Orochimaru, with such perfect confidence - I love seeing how much respect and admiration he has for Sasuke underneath all their fighting, because that’s the whole reason he’s always baiting Sasuke and yelling at him and claiming “you're not so great!” He looks up to Sasuke; he wants to be like Sasuke; he thinks Sasuke is awesome! (It’s that Obito @ Kakashi behavior, you know?) But the fact remains that he is clueless about what’s actually going on with Sasuke in Part 1, and he remains clueless(ly optimistic) for a long time.

(Eg, when he catches up to Sasuke during the retrieval arc and Sasuke climbs out of that cursed seal coffin, Naruto waves at him and calls "Come on, let's go!" as if Sasuke has been successfully rescued and is now going to come running home. Even in Part II, when Naruto hears that Sasuke killed Orochimaru, he beams and immediately says, “So he must be on his way back to the Leaf Village!” And everyone else in the room is like, “....,” because they know better. Naruto doesn’t yet fully understand [or doesn't want to accept] the extent to which Sasuke has willingly chosen this path, and it’s not until after Jiraiya’s death/the Pain attack/the Five Kage Summit that Naruto really starts to understand Sasuke more clearly, which is something he himself admits.)

Sakura, in Part 1, has access to more information about Sasuke - she’s there for his first dissociative monologue during the bells test, she’s there for the curse mark’s placement, she’s there for his first violent transformation in the Forest of Death - she is, in fact, the unwitting catalyst for it (“Sakura…who did this to you?”), and her compassion is the reason Sasuke is later able to overcome the curse mark’s influence - so she has a more accurate/complete picture of “how he’s doing,” for lack of a better phrase, whereas Naruto, who doesn’t know about the curse mark in the first place, is still in the dark. This means that Sakura is able to accurately discern that Sasuke is struggling more than Naruto realizes, and specifically to predict that he’s going to run away.

(This dynamic is then interestingly flipped in the back half of Part II, since at any point after the Five Kage Summit, Sakura doesn’t have access to extremely relevant [if currently questionable and unproven] details that would in any other circumstance inform her behavior).

Of course, just because she has more info in Part 1 doesn’t mean she has some kind of miraculous insight into Sasuke’s every thought and feeling. There are parts of her attempt to convince Sasuke to stay in the village that are as clueless as any of Naruto’s assumptions, and they showcase the kind of magical thinking common to childhood - like when she says that if he stayed with her, she could give him happiness, she’d do anything for him, even help him get his revenge - this idea that she herself can do something to make him feel better, that she can love him powerfully enough to defeat his pain - obviously none of that is rooted in realism.

Is this part of her approach irrational and immature and inadvertently self-centered? Of course it is! But it’s no more irrational and immature and inadvertently self-centered than Naruto’s stated plan to drag Sasuke back to the village even if he has to “break every bone in [his] body!”

Hating on Sakura for her Part 1 attempt to convince Sasuke to stay in the village while simultaneously lauding Naruto for his feels like a bad faith misread of what is, to me, pretty clear narrative intention. The story doesn’t at any point intend for us to see her begging him to stay as a selfish or conniving attempt to get something she wants. She’s begging him to stay for the same underlying reason that Naruto is: she cares about him. She thinks he’s making a mistake that will only cause him more pain in the end (she’s right) and she wants to make it so he feels less pain right now (she can’t. But she doesn’t understand that/isn’t able to admit that, and she’s willing to try ANYTHING that might help).

It’s critical that this farewell scene is set in front of that same bench from their first important confrontation - she references that day and how angry he got at her, and this time she tells him that she understands his reaction. She’s learned things and she recognizes how insensitive she was being back then (“I know what happened to your clan, Sasuke”), even though she still can’t fully grasp all the complexities of the situation. She tells him that him blowing up at her back then helped her understand what loneliness actually meant (as opposed to her previous shallow understanding of it), and she challenges him about his choice right now: "So that's it, you're choosing the lonely path?" And when she tells him that she'll be very lonely if he leaves, we're immediately shown a panel of Sasuke thinking of both his friends, with the very clear implication that if he goes through with this, he will be lonely without them, too - that he's still struggling with the idea of leaving them, no matter how hard he tries to pretend:

Sakura at this point knows that Sasuke isn’t interested in her the way she is in him, but she still wants to give him happiness, however fantastical and immature her ideas sound to us (and, I’m sure, to him). “I’ll do anything, even help you get your revenge/we'll have fun every day, and...and you'll be happy! I'll make sure of it!” - of course, it’s completely childish. It’s irrational. It’s ridiculous to think that any of this would ever be effective, but no more ridiculous than Naruto’s belief that he can simply break every bone in Sasuke’s body and keep him in the Leaf by force.

Both Naruto and Sakura are children who have a deeply oversimplified understanding of Sasuke’s situation. They both still think they can fix him themselves. They both think they can save him themselves. They both think they can convince (or force) him to do what they want, what they think is in his best interests. Both of them don’t yet understand that he has to want to come back, if it’s ever going to mean anything. Their attempts to keep him in the village are immature and unrealistic, yes. What they aren’t, however, is selfish, because neither Sakura nor Naruto are doing any of this with the intention of advancing their own interests. They’re only thinking about Sasuke - how to keep Sasuke safe, how to make Sasuke happy - even when neither of them are taking an approach that will actually work.

Naruto and Sakura are children. They’re afraid of losing somebody they care about. Their attempts to prevent that from happening are desperate and messy and ultimately ineffective, but they are also genuinely felt and rooted in a true desire to rescue Sasuke from his pain, which - and this is the single most important thing that should impact our viewing of Part 1 - is something that Sasuke RECOGNIZES. He doesn’t spend that agonizingly long moment bowed over Naruto’s defeated body so we can pretend he doesn’t understand that Naruto was just trying to help him. He doesn’t take the time to murmur, “Sakura…thank you,” before laying her out carefully on a bench, just so we can discount it and pretend that he doesn’t recognize and appreciate her genuine intention to make things better for him, however clumsy that attempt might have been.

2. the greater good

If Stage 1 Sakura is "the girl with the crush," then Stage 2 Sakura is a progression to “the girl who decides to put her feelings for Sasuke aside in order to protect innocent people, including (but certainly not limited to) Naruto.” She’s driven to this decision by interactions with Shikamaru, who all too recently had to grow up fast himself (“We're not kids anymore...we can't allow a war to break out between the Hidden Leaf and the Hidden Cloud because of Sasuke") and Sai, who risks his new friendship with Sakura and Team 7 in order to speak some hard truths and deliver one of my favorite lines in the whole story: “I don’t know what promise Naruto made to you, but it’s really no different than what was done to me. It’s like a curse mark.”

(INCREDIBLE. How can anybody be complaining about a season where Sai gets to say something that goes THIS HARD and Sakura LISTENS and takes DRAMATIC ACTION that actually propels the story forward in a meaningful way - )

[Okay, yeah, brief personal opinion interlude - it is just bonkers wild to me that there are people who complain about Sakura in the Five Kage Summit arc. That entire season is the greatest character arc she ever has. Literally she has never been more interesting and dynamic than in Season 10; it’s the first time she ever gets to be as deep and fascinating as the boys; what is everybody so worked up about? Oh, “she lied to Naruto that one time” - Sasuke joined infant-kidnapping baby-murdering human experimentation machine Orochimaru when he was twelve years old in order to (dare I say it????) selfishly pursue his personal goals and yet, somehow, we are still able to root for him. He abandoned his friends/allies to imprisonment and death (Suigetsu and Jūgo) or outright stabbed them in the chest himself (Karin) in order to (SELFISHLY) get what he wanted, and yet, somehow, we are still able to love him, understand him, and be on his side. Naruto is canonically not upset with Sakura about her lie after receiving context for the situation and I think we can probably take our cues from him without feeling the need to bring her up on war crimes; please calm down]

[Sorry, I just really love most of Season 10 and think it’s one of the best examples of how good this story can be when every single character gets to do something that matters (as opposed to things being all Naruto, all the time) so I get a little bit worked up over people complaining about some of the best writing Sakura ever gets. I don’t understand what certain elements of fandom want from her. People complain about her being “useless” and not doing anything that contributes to the story, but then they complain just as much when she does finally get to act decisively and have just as complex/dynamic an inner world as the boys. She’s “weak” for being unreasonably in love with Sasuke, but when she tries to be “strong” and put her love for him aside and eliminate him in order to protect Naruto and the rest of the world, she’s evil, because she should have been more understanding of his situation (despite the fact that she doesn’t KNOW anything about his situation). But then when she can’t go through with killing him after all because she cares about him too much despite the things he’s done, she’s not "compassionate" or "kind" or "a good friend," she’s “weak” again. Nothing Sakura does in S10 is more wrongheaded or rash than any of the batshit, buckwild things Naruto and Sasuke have done in the past (and will continue to do in the future), but when Naruto and Sasuke have big feelings or take bold action, it makes them interesting characters, whereas Sakura can’t breathe in anyone’s direction without being minutely scrutinized for moral impurities.]

Anyway. Back to a more measured response.

Every single piece of development Sakura has with regard to Sasuke in this season satisfies me so much. Her initial shock and disbelief at hearing that Sasuke had joined the Akatsuki? Good, appropriate. The fact that she starts to acknowledge the reality of what Sasuke’s done sooner than Naruto does? Also extremely appropriate, very in-character for both of them. Her taking Sai’s words to heart and deciding that the promise she asked Naruto to make when they were children is causing him to suffer and she has to relieve him of that burden? Juicy! AND thematically significant (promises!!!! the burden that a promise places on a person, especially when it can't be kept - we've seen that before in this story and we'll see it again). Her anguished pivot from wanting to protect Sasuke to realizing that she has a responsibility to protect the countless innocents who will die because of the war he’s trying to start? HELLO THIS IS INCREDIBLE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Her knocking out the classmates who agreed to help her so they don’t have to share in her burden (and so the only person Naruto will hate when it’s over is her)? BRUH. Her being so committed and focused on her goal of saving innocents and protecting Naruto (not just from being harmed by Sasuke/the Akatsuki, but by the possibility that Naruto will someday have to hurt Sasuke himself) that she tries to take everything on by herself and walks into a confrontation that she absolutely cannot win?? INCREDIBLE. (Literally the first time I watched this, I said, “Finally!!! It’s Sakura’s turn to go off the rails!” I laughed with my sister about how Kakashi isn’t even mad, because Naruto and Sasuke have been pulling stunts like this for years and Sakura was way overdue for her own meltdown.) And then, after Kakashi intervenes in the fight - Sakura barreling back into the battle when she realizes he’s going to take on the burden of killing Sasuke himself in order to spare her and Naruto the horror - “I can’t let Kakashi-sensei bear this burden!” I love her for that.

And then, of course, in the end - her not being able to do hurt Sasuke after all. Despite committing herself to the act, despite forcing herself to put her feelings for him aside, despite resolving to stop him from starting a war and killing innocent people, she can’t harm him. She cares about him too much. This, too, is thematically significant - think about Itachi’s “you don’t have enough hatred” - she doesn’t have enough hatred to kill someone she cares about, even if it seems like he deserves it, even if would be the right thing to do to protect others. She can’t do it, and Sasuke almost kills her for her compassion.

I love the dynamic this sets up between her and Sasuke, for a few reasons:

1) Personally, I think Sasuke respects Sakura much more for trying to kill him than he would have if she’d just tried to talk him out of his behavior or beg him to come home (a la their original confrontation in Part 1). This is the first significant interaction he’s had with Sakura in years, and the fact that she does something SO contrary to his memory of her is an important demonstration of the fact that she’s not the same girl she used to be. Sasuke spends a lot of time after his defection declaring to his old team “I’ve changed; I’m not that person anymore,” but this is one of the moments where he’s forced to acknowledge that his teammates have changed, too. Time didn’t just stop for them when he left. While he was turning into someone new, so were they. They grew up without him, and his old memories of them can’t encompass the whole picture of who they are now.

(This is a little tangential, but in general, I love the spectrum of reactions that Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi have in this sequence, and the way that all of them are ultimately messages Sasuke needs to hear. Sasuke - who we know textually regrets what he did here, who apologizes to Sakura for it later - for “everything,” in fact - needs Naruto’s aggressively optimistic open-arms policy, yes, needs that potential, that unconditional possibility of return. He also needs Sakura’s refusal to let him hurt her friends and start a war that will kill thousands of people, needs her surprisingly ruthless attempt to take him down; needs just as much her failure to do so, because it shows him that she still loves him too much to kill him even as she condemns him. And he needs Kakashi’s grim line in the sand, needs someone who very possibly won't hesitate like Sakura (despite the horrifying personal cost), someone who will try to reach him but also won't let him escape and become the next generation’s Orochimaru, who won't let him cause untold suffering to untold numbers of people just because a teacher loved him too much to stop him when he had the chance.

(And then even Kakashi chooses not to deliver a killing blow when he has the opportunity -)

(I know that in fandom people are more likely to be all, “oh, Naruto Good, everybody else Bad,” but I don’t think the narrative frames Sakura or Kakashi as “worse” than Naruto in any way. The story goes out of its way to make it clear how desperately they don’t want to hurt Sasuke and how much they care about him. And [this is just my interpretation, so obviously I won’t claim it as fact], I personally think that Sasuke - Sasuke, who, looking back, can see how lost he was then and how tortured he would have been if he’d gone through with many of his plans - would be grateful to Sakura and Kakashi for making an attempt to stop him when he couldn’t stop himself.)

2) On the other side of this, the fact that Sakura wasn’t able to deliver the killing blow means a lot. Sasuke was incapacitated under that bridge; he was completely at her mercy - but she stopped with the kunai an inch from his back. She couldn’t kill him, even though she knew that he was completely willing to kill her (because he'd attempted to Chidori-assassinate her from behind just a few minutes ago). That’s huge! Sasuke is too out of his head right now to process this or understand it, but later, it's going to matter. She stayed her hand. She spared his life. She loved him too much to hurt him, even when he’d given her every reason to take him down. She hesitated, and he almost killed her for it, but her inability to strike him ultimately gave him yet another chance to come home, another chance to get better, another chance to have a life outside of his pain. Despite everything, some part of her still hadn’t really given up on him, and that knowledge will matter later, when he’s finally able to acknowledge it.

The point of all this is to say that I really have no complaints about Sakura and Sasuke’s dynamic in their S10 confrontation. This season is the point where Sakura fully grows past her “girl with a crush” stage and into her “shinobi must make very harsh decisions” adulthood, but it never means that she doesn’t care about the person she’s trying to take down. Her ultimate inability to deliver the killing blow remains a dangling lifeline for her relationship with Sasuke, an open door that Sasuke is able to walk through at the end of the story (literally, in fact, when Sakura opens that portal for him and saves him from Kaguya’s desert prison, and figuratively, too, when Sasuke apologizes to her).

3. she only wants to save you

The last stage in their relationship is what Sakura settles into during the war arc. She started off Part 1 being just a girl with a crush, then tried to harden her heart and put her feelings for Sasuke aside in service of the greater good, but she was unable to actually follow through and kill him, and because of that, what she’s come to accept by the war arc is actually two things: that 1) Sasuke truly is willing to let her die if it furthers his goals, and 2) she wants to save him anyway.

She has no intention of pursuing Sasuke romantically. She knows full well that Sasuke isn’t interested in her. She even knows that Sasuke isn’t really on their side (there’s a great scene where Sai questions Sakura about Sasuke’s return, and she reassures him that everything is fine, and Sai sadly thinks to himself “even I can tell your smile is fake”). She’s well-aware that Sasuke didn’t try to help her when Madara stabbed her. She’s well-aware that he left her to die in the lava pit. She’s also well-aware that none of this is enough to make her stop loving him. He doesn’t have to care about her - she still cares about him. She still wants to help him. She still wants to save him.

This is not hidden, hard-to-parse character development. It’s explicitly articulated on the page:

Sakura’s not trying or wanting to make you hers! She only wants to save you.

I’m not sure if people look at this last confrontation and unquestioningly take Sasuke at his word (as if we haven’t just read 71 volumes/watched 700 episodes showing us how how painfully distorted his thinking is), or if they stop reading/watching before the end of the scene, or if they don’t understand that Sasuke saying something doesn’t make that statement an accurate representation of reality. The entire point of this scene is to show us how deeply mistaken Sasuke is about Sakura (and, by extension, the rest of Team 7). He’s locked into a false pattern of thinking. His single-minded focus on revenge and destruction has blinded him to the unconditional love his friends feel for him; he’s become so accustomed to using others and being used that he can’t understand or accept that someone would care about him without needing a reason, without needing him to love them back, without needing to receive something from him in exchange.

Sakura’s not trying or wanting to make you hers! She only wants to save you.

Sasuke matters to Sakura as more than a love interest. He always has. She does love him romantically, yes, but she doesn’t only love him romantically, and her desire to help him is not and has never been contingent on him returning her feelings, romantically or otherwise. Sasuke isn’t able to acknowledge that in this scene, but that doesn’t mean we’re supposed to just sit back and agree with his warped perspective. Kakashi is the one who’s explicitly positioned as the voice of the narrative here. We, as the audience, are supposed to recognize that Kakashi is the one telling us the truth.

[tangential thing 1: You don’t have to love Sakura's last plea to Sasuke here. It’s not my favorite, either - the best part, other than Kakashi’s speech at the end, is the moment after Kakashi collapses when Sakura’s expression changes from pained uncertainty to pure rage, when she grits her teeth together - when I first saw that, I almost leapt out of my seat like “Oh my god. She’s finally going to let him have it. It’s finally happening - ” I wanted that so badly, and I still think it would have been a more effective writing choice for Sakura’s last words to lean more into her anger at the suffering Sasuke is causing all of them (himself included!) and less into yet another of Kishimoto’s “let me have Sakura articulate what a shame it is that she can’t do as much as Naruto despite the fact that I literally just went through a major reveal sequence in the war to show that she’s caught up to the boys; I can’t make up my mind about whether I want her to progress or not” - it’s extremely frustrating (and it's something he does at the very end of the S10 Team 7 reunion, too, which is the ONLY moment of S10 that falls flat for me). But at the same time, even if there are ways this sequence could be more satisfying, it doesn’t change the fact that her plea to him is not remotely motivated by a desire to be with him romantically and not anything to condemn her for.]

[tangential thing 2: I do like how she remembers that moment when Sasuke says “Thank you.” That panel precedes her saying “If there’s even a tiny corner of your heart that thinks about me…” (which I’m sure is one of the things that people like to criticize about this scene, aka “oh she’s sooooo self-centered” etc), but that particular line of dialogue is preceded by that particular flashback panel for a reason: Sakura knows that Sasuke DOES think about her. He thinks about all of them. Sakura remembers that “thank you,” and it reminds her that despite everything Sasuke has done and said since, despite all evidence to the contrary, she knows in her bones that his expression of gratitude back then was genuine. He cared about her once. He cared about all of them. She’s trying to reach the part of him that still does, if it exists.]

[tangential thing 3: The fact that Kakashi says “she suffers from loving you,” and it triggers Sasuke to remember his own family - thinking about how much he suffered (and still suffers) from loving them - “Perhaps…those are the ties to a failed past” - the idea that it’s not worth it to have bonds if it means you suffer this much…that it’s too difficult, it’s too painful, and if Sakura and the rest of Team 7 were smarter they would just give it up (all Sasuke knows how to do now is sever potential bonds before they can hurt him; so why aren’t Sakura and the rest of his teammates doing that, why can’t they let it go, why are they making this so hard - ) << yeah, he clearly doesn't care about her/them at all.]

4. the shadow of my family

This has all been a really long way to answer the original question, but the short response to “What do you think about the relationship between Sasuke and Sakura?” is “I really care about it,” just like I really care about the relationship between Sasuke and Naruto, just like I really care about the relationship between Sasuke and Kakashi. And I don’t think the story ever asks me to choose between them.

I’m not sure whether it’s the impact of Boruto-era “canon” that gets in the way of other people approaching things this way (I don’t consider sequel material when I evaluate the original story), or if it’s Kishimoto’s frequent disinterest in/disrespect towards female characters, which yes, does sometimes make it harder, or if it's a shipping thing (bane of my existence), or some combination of factors, but for me, taking one member of Team 7 out of the equation hobbles the rest of the story. I can’t read/watch Naruto while hating one of the protagonists and loving the other three. It doesn’t work like that for me. The story wasn’t written that way, and there’s nothing in the text that would cause me to receive it that way.

That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with disliking one of the main foursome (or any character, for that matter) - obviously we're all going to have different preferences, and everyone is free to enjoy or reject whatever parts of a story they want, or to like or dislike whatever characters they want. I know that some people have more fun disregarding canon and doing their own thing, which is fine. My own personal zone of enjoyment comes from receiving the story as closely to how I think it was intended to be read as I can, and personally, when I look at this particular story, what I see is that all the members of Team 7 clearly demonstrate their love for Sasuke in ways that he himself later recognizes and acknowledges. All of them are driven by their desire to save him and their unwillingness to hurt him. All of them make repeated choices to chase after him when he runs away, to trust him when he hasn't exactly earned it, to give him another chance when he doesn't appear to deserve it. ALL of them, not just Naruto, do these things multiple times throughout the story, and Sasuke owes his life (and thus his eventual recovery) to ALL of them, many times over. Kakashi disobeys Hokage-elect Danzō and breaks the law to negotiate for Sasuke's life with a foreign head of state. Sakura and Kakashi both have opportunities to kill Sasuke in the Land of Iron, and they choose to spare him instead. Kakashi stops Sasuke from killing his only friends at two different points in the story, which would have been a mistake Sasuke couldn't have recovered from. Sasuke would have died in Kaguya's desert dimension if Sakura hadn't saved him (Sakura, who knew that Sasuke wasn't even truly on her side yet, who knew he'd abandoned her for dead multiple times already that day). Kaguya's bone bullet would have killed Sasuke too, if Kakashi, with his intention to die in Sasuke's place, hadn't leapt in front of it (Kakashi, who also knew that Sasuke wasn't fully on their side yet, who also knew that Sasuke had abandoned him for dead earlier that day). Sasuke and Naruto would have BOTH died in the Final Valley if Sakura and a severely injured Kakashi hadn't chased after them to heal their injuries.

Remove any one member of Team 7, and Sasuke never makes it home. Without the combined efforts of all three of his teammates, he doesn't survive. That’s the way it should be, thematically, for a story whose first and most foundational premise was the importance of teamwork, and since Sakura was just as essential to that framework as everyone else, I’m just as invested in her relationship with Sasuke as I am in his relationship with everyone else. You can’t remove one leg from a four-legged stool without damaging the integrity of the entire structure, and for me, discounting any single member of Team 7 irreparably damages the integrity of the entire story.

TL;DR: I love all of the Team 7 relationships, including Sakura and Sasuke's, because despite what some segments of fandom seem to believe, the text of the story never gives me any reason not to.

#naruto #meta #replies #anyway that's that! hopefully that is a helpful answer #thank you for the question! i honestly don't think i would have ever gotten around to writing about this if i hadn't been directly asked #i love talking about the stories i enjoy (obviously; we all do; that's why we're here)#but i'm usually ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ about responding to takes that blatantly misread the narrative to justify hating a particular character or ship #mostly because a) it's whatever. as long as people mind their own business and leave me to enjoy myself they can do what they want #and b) some opinions are so divorced from the actual text that they're not worth discussing #like. what's the point of responding to random internet posts saying that sakura was selfishly pursuing sasuke as a lover the entire time #when that is textually and provably not the case?#if you're that committed to experiencing things in direct contradiction to what the narrative is asking of us then just go ahead #is it mildly annoying to me? sure. but so are lots of things and it's better to just let stuff go #like - i initially planned to take this piece of meta all the way up through sakura and sasuke's last scene together #the one where he tells her 'maybe next time' and finally reclaims and redefines itachi's forehead tap (INCREDIBLE. THIS SCENE.)#but ultimately i changed my mind because everything i wrote for that last section was coming out too harsh #i generally prefer to talk about fandom stuff in a chill/friendly approachable way #but i kept thinking about the most obscenely & disrespectfully inaccurate read of that scene i'd ever seen #and i couldn't figure out how to talk about it in a non-scathing way #that scene and the one where naruto gives sasuke's headband back are the ONLY well-written things about the finale of naruto #they are SO perfectly constructed and i can't respond to people slandering either one without feeling an urge to kill #so i just deleted it. partially because again - this is fandom; it's not that serious; people can do what they want #but also because i know i get extra frustrated about people picking over the text and plucking out isolated bits and pieces #to contort into blatantly misinterpreted mutant shapes that 'confirm' whatever pre-existing judgments or ships they had #instead of experiencing the story as a cohesive whole & keeping in mind the greater context of what it's always been trying to communicate #people on this website say 'we all interpret things differently :)' as if it means no one can ever be wrong about what a text is saying #newsflash: not all interpretations of a text are valid. things can't in fact mean whatever you want them to mean.#the ***story*** persists and exists even if the author is dead to you #if you choose to ignore that then that's fine; it's just fandom; who cares. but i'm not going to pretend you're 'analyzing' anything.#(ok now i'm really done. you can see why i deleted this section XD)

43 notes · View notes

holocene-sims · 3 months

Text

next // previous

august 16, 2021 11:00 p.m. grandma ong's house

there’s a strangeness to a quiet enclave in a bustling metropolis, unexpected in the same manner as grant and henry’s long, unbroken brotherhood. nothing about the baseline rustle of neighbors carrying in paper grocery sacks and kids kicking a soccer ball resembles the eternal merry-go-round of life–max-capacity subway cars, clueless and loud tourists, and locals who drift through their day–just down the road. and yet above this neighborhood–and the entire sprawling city–hangs a common thread, a bluish hazy night sky.

“that was wild,” henry says, suppressed laughter bursting forth from deep in his chest, “all day everyone’s defaulted to speaking english because, well, look at you, and you even had me fooled. i actually forgot you kind of speak basic korean."

“the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.”

henry rolls his eyes dramatically but in the same split second, throws an arm around grant’s shoulders.

“i was afraid that soup was going to fly out of your mouth.” grant returns the gesture, though it requires him to lean down so as to not smother henry’s face instead. “too close for comfort.”

“well, in my defense, i was not expecting you to reply to my grandma asking me, “daehyun, i haven’t seen your friend since your wedding. how did you meet again?”

grant shrugs. “we met on a playground twenty-four years ago.”

“on my very first weekend as a resident of the semi-good ol’ US of A. in the opposite situation. i remember being so pissed that my parents made me go out to ‘make friends’ that weekend. not moving, mind you, but making friends. i guess they were psychics, though, because apparently, it didn’t bother you that i didn’t speak your language for at least a couple weeks.”

“people say i could talk to a wall.”

henry laughs again. “you could. you’re very chatty.”

“did it bother you that i wrote you some really, really, really shitty letters in korean in the early days based on online translations i found?”

“no, that was sweet.” no question about it–the joy in henry’s eyes is determined. “they were definitely horrendous, but it’s the thought that counted. you could do better now. oh, and i think i still have all those letters. i should. i did box them up when i moved out of my parents’ house.”

they were, all things considered, never very much alike, beyond the fact they both liked cats but weren’t allowed to have any. henry’s mom was allergic, but grant’s parents despised pets. otherwise, they were polar opposites. grant always liked math and science, wanted to work with airplanes, and preferred to spend his free time with others playing tabletop RPGs and computer games; henry always liked art and history, wanted to be a photographer, and preferred to be left alone to his vintage film camera and pottery. grant’s parents raged when he selected aviation over medicine; henry’s parents and grandparents, all artists, were delighted by his dreams of photography. moreover, grant selectively speaks his mind, while henry rarely minces words.

and still–

the shrill honk of a car off in the distance disturbs grant’s thoughts.

“you really could talk to a wall, but hey, why did you approach me on the swing set that day? you were already busy hanging out with your sisters. and your cousins. why me?”

and still, the two have fused into one. the world turned upside down; grant paints these days, henry has long been a willing dungeons and dragons player, and separation from one another is like losing half your body. if henry walked away now–ended this messy half-hug early–grant would turn to ash.

“well,” grant begins, drawing out the suspense with an exaggerated sigh, “first of all...”

#ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #sims 4 storytelling #simblr #hlcn: everything the stars promised #holocene.docx #holocene.png #hlcn: grant #hlcn: henry #it's been a WHILE since i've done a text-based update on this story so i apologize if the tone is off at all #then again this story has undergone quite a few stylistic changes and there's nothing wrong with that #btw i haven't even written anything outside of academic papers in so long i just have not had the spark or energy for a long time #so i'm kind of proud of this bc it took more effort than usual #wow i miss creative writing being 100% instinctual to me jdsfdsklfds burnout is so real y'all and it's got HANDSSSS #insert a NONE OF THIS IS ABOUT THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT IT'S ABOUT THEIR WHOLE FRIENDSHIP comment #hehehehe i love setting up future posts :3 i love foreshadowing :3 #also yes we wait to find out the answer to that last question :) but it's coming #aaaaand we will find out more about henry i promise this isn't it

38 notes · View notes

alectology-archive · 1 year

Text

while it’s important that rj understood how prolonged exposure to trauma would mess with you psychologically on various axes - mental, emotional, spiritual, physical - it’s also very significant that he put in the work to question and explore how people could go about healing and recovering from their experiences with a realistic attitude.

sometimes they don’t heal - they don’t understand that they need healing, dismiss their instincts, or manage to bury all the complicated emotions they’re feeling. it’s seen when mat suffers from a severe case of survivor’s guilt whenever he survives a battle, and this is observed more obviously when he escapes from ebou dar without managing to save all the windfinders; he also doesn’t have the vocabulary to express why the abuse he suffers at tylin’s hands feels wrong, and his cultural background and his tendency to lie to himself prevents him from examining why this is the case. rand is simply incapable of dealing with the sheer physical, mental and emotional stress he’s subjected to without a support system to back him up - support that he’s specifically unwilling to ask for because he doesn’t want to be put in a position of vulnerability just like mat and has a very unique relationship with the level of autonomy he’s afforded and the abuse he may be subjected to as a result of his madness - and resorts to unhealthy coping mechanisms and internalises traits that also serve as an allegory for ideologies that toxic masculinity directly feeds off of; he reacts to aes sedai very badly although he eventually unlearns that instinct; he’s extremely suicidal, and lews therin works as an indirect metaphor for depression. egwene feels the need to be in a position of power whenever approaching a certain relationship (be it romantic, platonic or otherwise) after her time as a damane, and is often uncomfortable with setting down her guard unless she trusts the people she’s working with; rj has a very complicated track with his depiction of corporal punishment but he also touches on how it enables people in power to take advantage of it to abuse the people under their control through egwene’s arc. rand specifically laments how the sort of stigma and alienation that male channelers face will never really go away because of the fear ingrained into popular belief, and that’s also a very accurate depiction of how certain mental illnesses are received by society.

but rj puts in the extra work to explore how people who have access to support systems and are on the receiving end of patience and compassion are able to get on the path to recovery. he has nynaeve & co deal with the problem of deprogramming egeanin, the sul’dam and damane who’re thoroughly brainwashed by the seanchan. juilin is able to help amathera recover by being very sympathetic to her situation and protecting her from difficult situations that could trigger her ptsd. rj specifically spends a significant amount of time letting joline, teslyn and edesina slowly encourage the seanchan channelers to entertain the idea of their ability not being a curse and to even train to control it at the white tower. the maidens are able to get a read on rand’s discomfort with the dark and small spaces post dumai’s wells and are kind enough to always leave a light on in the dark for him; they also push rand to take his meals and care for himself. the asha’man are explicitly recognised as a group which needs to unlearn some of the toxic ideas encoded in the founding principles that rand introduced. rand himself is recognised to be in dire need of help again in the latter half of the series, although we never got to see the culmination of that arc, unfortunately* - but I have a theory that his arc as a hero is tied very closely to his ability to recover from the various traumas he’s subjected to.

wheel of time takes a very realistic stance on mental health and ptsd. more significantly, it recognises that trauma might not necessarily bring about a positive transformation in a person. and that’s okay.

*cadsuane’s arrival is the only one I can’t get a clear read on, and feels so obviously doomed to disaster from the very beginning given how her personality clashes with rand’s and with her introduction with the intent of controlling rand and never respecting his opinions or autonomy - but given how she’s criticised by the narrative, I’m inclined to believe that min’s reading might have potentially been fulfilled in a bittersweet way as her readings often are. if rand learned how to embrace his humanity again, I can’t imagine that she would have ever had a part to play in it that involved compassion or understanding.

#he wasn't traumatising rand for the shits and giggles I would've loved to see where he would have gone with him though I have my own theory #I’ll save that for the super long rand post though… if I ever fucking finish it #text #HE least of all people would’ve kept pushing the trauma button without intent and just for the sake of Angst. unlike a lot of other authors #I have no idea what he was doing with perrin though lol it has to be said… he really is the weakest point in the series #I know people enjoyed dragonmount and sanderson’s take on how rand and egwene suffered trauma to eventually become Stronger #but that’s absolutely not a realistic depiction and it doesn’t work for me sorry to say.#I also Do Not Get dragonmount at all. it’s like if you pulled a rhetoric about love and living out of your ass when rand is suffering in #THIS life and THIS context… he walked in with some new character conflicts & adressed THEM instead of what rj had already written for rand.#wheel of time #wot book spoilers #rand al’thor

162 notes · View notes

fwoosheye · 9 months

Note

papyrus in hyrule :>?

Oh ho ho Nyeh heh heh! This gives me tons of ideas! Get ready for my special attack! (Text wall)

Some TotK spoilers at the end — only stuff one sees in tutorial area and one (1) detail from later in the game that I tried to keep vague. That detail will be written with small letters like this but in blue! I'm gonna try putting the spoilers under a readmore but I've noticed tumblr sometimes show it anyway and I don't know why.

Anyway!

First of all, regardless of where or when in Hyrule he ends up, Papyrus would be initially mistaken for a Stalfos. If he were to appear in a spot with hylians they would probably scream and run away (like they do in TP Castle Town for Wolf Link) and Papyrus would assume they're screaming because they're his fans and running away because they're shy. If he were to appear in an area with monsters the monsters would probably be curious but otherwise mostly leave him alone. Papyrus would probably try to teach them how to fight properly (as in the UT style) and have them perfect not killing their opponent just like him, and have a pretty good success rate on that. He would also try to teach them how to make and solve puzzles, with less success. If he were to end up in a dungeon he would have fun solving all the puzzles, sometimes with accidental cheese because the laws of physics is merely a suggestion to Papyrus.

I'd like to imagine that when Link encounters him he is a little thrown off by a monster talking (unless ofc it's the Link from the Oracle games cause he knows plenty of talking skeletons, or OoT Link if it's after Majora's Mask because of the whole Captain Keeta quest, but most other Links only knows 1-2 talking monsters if any), but mostly because the monster is encouraging him and saying how the Great Papyrus will teach him how to be good etc, and then he'd probably be a bit thrown off by the different style of fighting. If it's early on in Link's quest he might even lose fight and wake up in a cage where the bars are far too wide apart to make it useful.

Perhaps Link have already heard from locals about the Nearby Friendly Stalfos that will treat your injuries and then "spare" you if you lose to it three times. Perhaps they have also heard Papyrus talking about wanting to be a part of the Royal Guards, and think it's a recruit who have risen from the dead with the goal to fulfill its final wish or something. The local kids probably adore him once the locals have stopped fearing him and goes around saying Nyeh heh heh. So I imagine Link would befriend him and have various side quests related to him, like finding/making a Royal Guard uniform for him (ST-style or BotW-style or other), helping with puzzles, and depending on which Hyrule it is he might help with "training" "Papyrus' fans" that have flags with his face on but not acting like a proper Royal Guard (basically, take down pirate bases but without killing the enemies). This could also result in a hilarious conversation between Papyrus and Tetra, even if her flag doesn't have a skull on iirc.

Speaking of Tetra, the moment Papyrus realizes the Zelda he is talking to is a Princess he would probably beg to be a part of their Royal Guard. Tetra would say no because she doesn't see herself as a Royal, but she would probably accept him into his crew (and if he could manage to convince her to add a skull to their flag, future pirate flags would indeed be based on his face which is hilarious imo). Most other Zeldas would probably accept him into the Guard after a bit of hesitation — probably less so from the younger Zeldas.

... Ganondorf would just kill him. No mercy there.

Moving on to side characters/races.

Ravio would probably faint by having a loud skeleton appear in his shop. Papyrus would bemoan how it's a bad habit to take a nap when standing and then tuck Ravio in in a bed, maybe scold him for not listening to his body (because why else would you faint take a nap if it isn't due to being overworked?) and then maybe read fluffy bunny to him too. Papyrus would probably keep an eye socket on Sheerow though because he is small, white and might be the bird version of the Annoying Dog. Papyrus would still befriend them pretty fast, though Ravio would not be as fast because he is terrified for a long while even after Papyrus have declared them friends.

The various versions of Impa would probably be both impressed by his battle skills and exasperated by his naivety.

The Yiga would be horrified by his attempts to make banana spaghetti (because he tried to teach them to be good by using cooking lessons like Undyne did to him. Sorta). They have sworn to stay out of his way because it is not worth the risk of being forced into a "cooking lesson" since none of them can take him on.

Malon would be scared at first and then accept him with open arms. She would teach him a lot about farming and that milk is good for the bones. She might even successfully teach him simpler cooking and/or how to make cheese and butter. Papyrus will be a walking Milk promoter afterwards.

He would totally join the Postman/Running Man on his runs. And have him holler about how great they are while they're at it.

He would probably be sad that Stalhorses disappear at dawn and decide to make his own that doesn't. It doesn't quite look like a horse though (more like a mix between a stalhorse and a small wingless version of his Gaster Blaster in Unexpected Guests by @/undertalethingems) and it tends to act more like a puppy. One who will fall over and ask for belly rubs the moment you touch it, unless it wants to play. He would probably not be permitted to register it in ba stable (if it's the BotW-verse) until Link and/or Zelda stared the Stable owners down so they would make an exception. Not that it would really matter because he wouldn't board it or leave it alone out in nowhere so the stable have to fetch it like Link does, but still.

He would absolutely call the Zoras "Undyne's relatives". And he would probably try to feed Gorons sprinkles because that's what Sans' pet rock ate. Not sure how he would react to the Rito or other non-human races in Hyrule, all I know is that he would be a cool dude about all of them.

He would be shut out from Gerudo Town at first, but he would either get in a technically ("Are you a vai or a voe?" "I'm a skeleton! Nyeh heh heh!"). Or, he would earn a membership card like in OoT because of his fight prowess and/or through hard work and obvious lack of ulterior motives. Heck he might even accidentally help keep creeps away because he "convinces" them to do annoying dumb endless tasks when they get too close (eg sweeping sand away from the road between the town and the bazaar).

Here comes the spoilers if tumblr is silly and skips the readmore:

If he were to end up in Hyrule's founding times, he might think the Zonai are related to Asgore — or Asgore-clones that used dye.

He'd might consider the constructs bad Mettaton copies, but he likes the Construct Stewards because they aren't trying to be copies and have a good work ethic.

Big spoiler tried to be made vague comming up now!

My HC is that Papyrus does know a bit of healing, so to have a bit of angst it could be interesting if Papyrus was nearby when a certain character dies, and when he realises he can't heal it on his own he absorbs their SOUL (only with the intention of it being temporarily though) and tries to heal the damage with the boosted power.

#nyohoho i accidentally deleted the first reply i wrote and had to redo it #so i went to bed and have written this is small bursts during the day today #and somehow it is still not better organised this time lmao #thethrillof #fwoosh answers #long post #Papyrus #hyrule #undertale #loz #legend of zelda #sorry about the text wall

9 notes · View notes

britneyshakespeare · 2 months

Text

i rant in the tags boldly and without fear

#hope u all someday develop my invulnerability to being embarrassed of tag rants #tales from diana #god knows i have been unabashed in this habit for a LONG TIME #text post #and am i coherent most of the time? am i organized? am i well developed in my sentences hell no #that's not the point #this is freudian talk therapy. get it out. get it all out and i can tell u how it's psychosexual or smth #all of the tags i've ever written have subconsciously been expressive of my penis envy

2 notes · View notes

juneiper-art · 3 months

Text

I simply am immune to discourse. I inhabit a universe of my own takes that has a population of 1 (me) and like a being from a higher dimension, I cannot comprehend anything Else

#juneiper chats #i also dont read text posts that are longer than a paragraph #i think this is also called enlightenment #though i am begging maybe for people to go read some books instead of getting all their takes from social media #there's a lot of hard work that went into sources that just exist for you #i see stuff about human rights sometimes #that seems completely ignorant that there's a wealth of literature on the basis and meaning of rights #like people have been thinking about this a long time #we truly do not have to reinvent the wheel #i am begging u all to read stuff like in the defense of abortion by Judith Jarvis Thomson #it is incredibly well written and i think says what you all want to say #like she did the work #use it #you know?

2 notes · View notes

ryoukio · 2 years

Text

Thinking about a spirits stay au where Bakura and Atem get like a copy of their host's bodies but aren't accustomed to being corporeal as much as they thought they'd be. Like I imagine being a spirit and/or possessing someone's body feels like you're constantly in a dissociative state and things feel toned down (like lights, textures, pain, sound etc. aren't as apparent to you).

Atem is able to get on with life or is at least forced to speedrun getting used to it because he's low key famous (but Idk if Japan has the same culture as the West surrounding celebrities or whatever Atem is), but he can deal with it. He gets used to feeling more present and after a while it's like he's always been corporeal.

Bakura on the other hand, is significantly more affected by it. It never seems to get more bearable for him. He wants to go out and enjoy his corporeality, but all his socks are a Bad texture, and the Sun is too bright, but he can't wear sunglasses or a mask without it irritating his face, and everything is over stimulating all the time.

They both also struggle with all the things that come with knowing what you're meant to look like and not looking like it or having any feasible way of achieving it in a way that's properly satisfying.

Wanna see an au that focuses on Atem and Bakura dealing with corporeality in different ways with different problems.

#Ryou rambles #yugioh #ygo #Yami Bakura #Yami Yugi #Bakura #Atem #fanart #give me atem laying on the couch with the lights off with a terrible and perpetual headache for a week #gimme anger managementless bakura tearing up Ryou's carpet bc he doesn't know a better way to articulate that he #can't stand the texture on his feet #long post woops sorry #I think this is the most I've ever written on tumblr ever lmao #gimme also Atem not initially understanding why Bakura is having such a hard time with being alive #and Atem working through his bias towards assuming Bakura is doing the things he does out of a malice for everything nice #Text post #Ryoukios art

47 notes · View notes

incendiorum-arch · 8 months

Text

io's hard (to say the least) to romantically ship with so I thought I'd make a post talking about it. io has a very specific type. innocence, pacifism, and positivity will never attract them (in fact, it's very likely to do the opposite). io desires confidence and deadliness above all else. someone who can kill, who can hurt, and despite their feelings on the matter, can, would, and most likely will do it again. people who have trauma tend to appeal to them more, too - as often those people understand why io might act the way they do. to sum it up, io is attracted to people who have gray morals. skewed morals. people who can embrace violence, whether they like it or not. although... io does tend to favor those who like it. [don't be terribly discouraged though, as lucius did not like embracing violence but io loved him beyond words.] I would also like to mention really quickly here that io is also attracted to banter/snark/sass, fiery personalities, and powerful (physically/magically) people. strength of character is something that is fantastic at catching their eye.

speaking of trauma - io carries a shitton of it. they were abused mentally, emotionally, and physically by their parents for 23 years. eighteen centuries has done a whole lot in terms of trying to recover, but io still deals with fits of anger, dissociation, and flashbacks. they're also extremely dependent on alcohol (high functioning alcoholic) and despite their desire to quit, will not seek the help needed for it. love and trust do not go hand in hand with io. like I've said I hate to say it but I genuinely think io is incapable of 100% trust. I trust you... is always followed by the ultimatum, as much as I can. io's concept of trust has been irreparably shattered. there is no fitting the pieces back together no matter how badly either party want it. asking io do you trust me? is perhaps the worst question you could ask. you don't want to hear the answer, unless you're willing to accept io's reasoning. io also does not experience romantic attraction immediately, and when they do finally experience it, it's very rare and only in an already established relationship - they're demiromantic. now you might be going, hey adair where's the good stuff? love and trust do not go hand in hand, yes. but io loves hard. they can easily fall into devotion to an unhealthy degree. they want to help their partner, they want to comfort, they want to cook meals and share kisses and embrace every bit of physical affection they can. inter mundos becomes something that io can use to show their partner the world. week-long vacations wherever they want to go. dinner in another country. io embraces violence. io likes it. they'll fight tooth and nail for their partner. io lets their softer, more playful side show around partners. their humor may be deadpan, but there'll certainly be more of it. they embrace their childish side and let it show around loved ones because they know they can expect acceptance. joining them in childish pursuits only makes their love grow. io's own trauma lends them experience and intimate understanding for those who do have it. this doesn't take away the fact that sometimes things hurt and lashing out at them upsets and hurts them but... they get it? they will, most likely, end up doing the same thing at some point or another (when they don't immediately leap to self isolation). io will always come back and apologize, though. in short, io is complicated and hard to be with. they have enough baggage to fill an entire plane's luggage compartment and then some. but god, they love with every ounce of their being.

#◜❝ 𝙰𝙱𝙾𝚄𝚃. ⟩⟩ i’m losing myself to rage. ❞◞#now for my side of it all?#I greatly prefer ic interactions between our muses before we consider romantic shipping :)#i.e. no pre-est romantic shipping #WITH EXCEPTIONS - for people I have written with for a long time (years)#y'all can just be like hey we're shipping now :) and i'll be like OK!! :D #friends get a free pass lmao #bc i trust them n know they respect/understand io #i'm gonna link this as a shipping guide i think #in my pinned post #bc it's important #also have a feeling tumblr might fuck up my formatting #with non-small text letters once I post :/#[it fucked up my italics]#abuse mention tw #alcoholism mention tw

4 notes · View notes

bookwyrminspiration · 1 year

Note

How do you think queer relationships are treated in canon kotlc? I think maybe less stigma than bad matches but that’s it. It might never be addressed, maybe because the matching system was written to be bad but also maybe accidentally written it as homophobic.

I think I agree with your assessment, and I also don't expect it to be addressed. My hopes are rather low when it comes to queer acknowledgement in the series, but that's a different thing.

My reasoning for the "stigmatized but not as bad as bad matches" status is that you gotta go to the root of why bad matches are bad. So then you gotta look at what makes a match good.

The match office has the words "Progress, Prosperity, Permanence, and Proliferation" above it, which gives us some insight. The elves are concerned with genetics and genetic purity, and bad matches disrupt that. Those that are talentless or bad matches are lesser genetically and have lesser kids.

In that case, queer relationships (this does not encompass all queer relationships) would be somewhere in the middle. On the one hand, these queer relationships aren't supporting proliferation of their species, they aren't having the genetically pure kids they aim for. However, the same could be said of non-queer couples that choose not to have children. And even if those in queer relationships were considered lesser, they wouldn't be continuing their genetic lineage, wouldn't be having genetically lesser kids, and therefore would avoid some of the criticism bad matches get.

I imagine that queer relationships that can be interpreted as straight in whatever capacity would be treated as though they are, in fact, straight. Their queerness would be ignored, and if they go on to have children, they would act as though that proved their "normalcy" (in quotes because straight isn't more normal than queerness).

I believe that any queer relationship within the system people would turn a blind eye to, essentially. If you're a couple keeping to yourselves without offspring, then we don't have to worry about you and can look the other way. If you're a couple that can pass as their version of "normal," then they can ignore everything else going on with you.

So not supportive, but not outright hostile either. At least based on my understanding of the worldbuilding. Also I'm well aware that my word choice and explanations fall well short of the complexity of queerness; it's not a topic that can be easily encompassed in so short a post, so please be lenient with me :)

#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #quil's queries #nonsie #queer kotlc #feels like queerness is such a complex topic at times #like looking at this it's...queerness is undeniable to life. there /are/. without a doubt. queer elves #queerness is natural and the elves aren't an exception #but at the same time. it's a written world. and was not written with (at least overt) queerness in mind #so to what extent is it present? only in the knowledge that it /should/ be there? that it /is/? or is there more?#the text says their world doesn't have the human prejudices of misogyny and racism but does that extend to homophobia?#is this a world where the concept even exists? or does when it was written impact that?#how does shannon constructing the world starting in 2008 and publishing in 2012 impact its queerness?#because it exists. it always has. but it's not /talked/ about #it's this thing you tiptoe around #the same way you tiptoe around bathroom breaks #we all know they're there. we know they're unavoidable and undeniable. and yet #i'm rambling now and unsure this makes sense #anyway. i hope that helped answer your question!#long post

14 notes · View notes

moinsbienquekaworu · 2 years

Text

I just sped through book two of La Passe-Miroir in one sitting and hooly shit. Holy shit. I'd already read that one but I'd forgotten enough bits for most of the stuff to really hit and aaaaaaah. I can't wait to read the two other ones, I'd do it right now in a haze but I've been reading for a good like, seven hours straight and I'm super tired. Fuck I remember the hype I felt when I read the book years ago for the first time and yeah, same past-me, hard same. I was so excited and into that series and for once I had taste this book is a rollercoaster. Never going to be the same person again. I read that rather than watching Obi-Wan Kenobi!! What happened to me!!

#7 hours is probably a good time #i've seen i'm a pretty fast reader generally and i don't have the wordcount to compare but yeah #if it's not written too weirdly (looking at you gwtw) i can go through texts pretty fast #when i was a kid i used to read sooo many books and so fast #and then i discovered fanfics and i learnt to speak english #i haven't read actual paper books in french in such a long time #but i'm still me!#that feels very comforting #i'll make another post on that probably but yeah. that at least i've always been and i still am #it just wasn't quite the right time for it to ressurface until now #btw i am soooo drawing them #gonna start a series of characters from books i used to love as i see them in my head <3 #la passe miroir #wow i have a ramble tag now

8 notes · View notes

izzy-b-hands · 1 year

Text

"Alright," Stede sits by Ed on the bed and grins. "Sworn to secrecy meeting is a go!"

Ed smiles and kicks a boot playfully against the floor. "Did you guess what it's about?"

"Not at all," Stede replies and fights off the urge to tell him how he shook Lucius to try and help him figure it out (he didn't.) "So either there's something cool and important to talk about or you maybe wanted..."

He pats the bed. "I'm good with either or both, of course. Both would be lovely, but-"

Ed pushes him over onto the pillows and lays on top of him, giggling and kissing him silly. "Mhm, I think we could test the bed again."

"Make sure it won't fall out of the ship no matter how hard we-"

"I mean, we're the captains; we need to keep things safe," Ed continues, grabbing at his chest and and grinding his hips down. "And this bed, mate? Needs constant testing, because it could go at any moment."

Stede can't help but think that at the present, the bed isn't the only thing on a hair trigger. "You'd better tell me the secret for the meeting then, before we get into quality testing."

Ed sits up to straddle him, hands pressed down lightly on his tits as if to ground himself. "Right! I thought maybe this year, since we do something for everyone else's birthdays usually, we could do something for Izzy's."

Had Ed asked for this when they'd first come aboard, Stede wouldn't have considered it. But things have changed, and he and Izzy both have opened up at least a little to everyone else and even more to each other.

"What day is it this week?" Stede asks, hands moving to Ed's hips. "We can think up ideas for it now, late meeting with the crew tonight to plan it all out, and-"

"Oh fuck."

"What?"

Ed blushes bright red, only for the color to drain from his face immediately after. "Man, I know he and I have both been...yeah. But I know he knows when mine is."

"Oh Ed," Stede sighs gently. "Is it even coming up any time soon?"

"If I can't remember it, how would I be able to answer that?"

"Huh," Stede pauses. "Good point. Well, maybe even if we just get it within the month, if you rec-"

"Stede."

"Ah. Well. I might have an idea or two, after we finish up here..."

"So we're planning gifts, a small surprise party, and whatever other random fun things we can think up for this," Lucius says. "But we don't actually know when any of this needs to be ready."

"Exactly!" Stede smiles. "You're all ready to help us then?"

"Oh, no, I didn't-" Lucius splutters. "Fuck. How old is he going to be?"

Ed stares wide-eyed, straight ahead. "Oh my fucking-"

"It's okay," Stede wraps an arm around his waist. "I could never remember how old the kids were, or Mary! I know they have their birthdays in the fall though."

"Autumn," Lucius stage whispers. " Louis is in late September, and Mary and Alma are in October, remember?"

Stede nods.

"On the same day? You had me write up that memory of yours of Mary, in bed, screaming that if she had to share a birthday with the little gremlin ripping her in hal-"

"Yeah," Stede interjects with an awkward chuckle. He'd not been at his best that day, if he ever had been with Mary. "To be fair to her, I think I would say the same. It wasn't Alma's fault of course-"

"Oh my god no shit," Jim scoffs. "She was a baby!"

"We're off topic," Olu adds. "Let's pretend his birthday is... let's say in a few weeks. Time to prepare, buy things wherever we stop next, and if we're too early or too late he'll be equally pissed off either way."

"They share a birthday?" Ed gently slaps his arm. "Why didn't you tell me? That's awesome."

"I really think Mary would have preferred it to have even a day between," Stede says. "But Alma does love it. They always want to bake their cakes together, and-"

"Cake is a good start," Olu interrupts again. "What sort of cake does he like, or maybe more accurately, can he eat?"

"He's never been picky," Ed replies.

"Bullshit," Pete scoffs. "He totally told you at some point that he has a favourite flavour of cake. Nobody hides that information."

"It's true," Roach nods. "I've tortured a lot of people, when needed or requested, and they give up three things super easy: favourite cake flavour, parent they think loved them least, and favourite colour."

Stede can't help but stare. "That. Is a fun torture fact! Thank you; I didn't know that!"

"So we torture him and find out what cake he wants," Frenchie muses. "Sounds good. John, you and me could drag him in here I bet-"

"Why are we having this meeting here?" Roach asks. "People come in and out of the galley day and night. What if he wants a snack?"

"Because I told him to rejam the Jam Room," Stede replies.

"I said make up an excuse for all of us being away from him," Ed says. "That is one, I suppose. What does that mean though, to rejam the..."

"I don't know; I panicked and pretended to get mad that he was questioning an order when he asked me that," Stede winces.

Ed's eyes light up. "We have hours then! He's stubborn; he'll be determined to figure it out at least partially on his own first, and even then-"

"I'm gonna go make coffee," Roach sighs. "Extra strong. Feel like this is going to be awhile. Anyone else want a cup, mug, bowl, tureen..."

"Like, if you were forced to eat a cake though."

Izzy frowns. "Who would torture me that way, when flaying me or ripping out my nails would be far more efficient?"

"That's what I'm saying," Jim smiles awkwardly. "But about the cake-"

"If you're planning on poisoning me, just put it in the food when Roach makes lunch," he sighs. "Honestly, the urge to overcomplicate murder isn't like you. Not at all. Odd."

Jim shoves past him and runs away down the deck.

"... I'll prepare for my poisoning then."

"I didn't fucking choke!" Jim shouts. "You get out there and find it out then!"

"It's okay," Stede says gently. "You did your best."

"He's scared of me; I know he is! How did that work against me just now?" Jim continues.

"You did well," Olu wraps them up in a hug. "Captain, maybe they're right. You and Ed are at the forefront of this, just go ask him! We've got like a billion other things to try and have Ed remember or guess or ask him yet in addition to this, so if we do all of it this way?"

Olu shakes his head. "Then we may as well save it all for his birthday in two years for long it'll take."

He's right. So is Jim.

"Okay," Stede sighs. "You two shouldn't have had to be involved in that bit. I'll send Buttons to him instead."

"The sea," Buttons states as he walks up beside Izzy.

"...yeah?"

"If the sea were a cake-"

"For fuck's sake," Izzy growls.

"I know," Buttons shrugs. "I told them it wouldn't work. Besides, who even remembers when their birthday actually is? I don't, so I just choose my favourite day each year to be my birthday."

Izzy turns. "Huh. How do you know which day will be your favourite?"

"It's September fifth this year."

"That doesn't ans-" Izzy cuts himself off before he says anything else useless. "Wait. Birthday? Are they trying to plan something for my-"

"Ah, you know too much now," Buttons pats his shoulder. "I'll have to go before I have to kill you."

"Why? Buttons? Buttons?!"

"Okay," Stede sighs deeply. "Well. We've got more than we had before."

Lucius takes the journal back from him and peers over the page for Izzy's Birthday Planning. "What information did we gain, exactly?"

"That he knows we know about his birthday, and that he at least probably enjoys cake."

"Mhm," Lucius nods. "And you guys think we should move everything up to tonight because..."

"He knows!"

"Next time, maybe we can just ask when his birthday is and start there," Lucius continues. "Not that this was a bad idea, Ed. Not at all! Your first mate is a weird enigma, that's all."

"I'm not good with remembering shit like that," Ed rubs at the back of his neck. "We kept a calendar for the first few years, with everyone's birthdays on it, but after we lost the first fifteen crew members, it seemed silly to keep it going, but-"

"Clearly he appreciates it regardless, or he would have said something," Stede moves back over to Ed, leaned against the galley wall, and pulls him close. "If anything, he could help us by being more forthcoming."

"Yeah," Ed sighs. "Not usually how that goes though."

"No. No I suppose not."

"Frmhph?"

"Yeah, sorry, need your boyfriend for a moment," Izzy tries not to step on Pete as he jabs Lucius' arm. "Hey! I'll make it worth your while."

"Normally when I'm this tired I'd say no, but honestly," Lucius yawns. "I'm not sleeping well anyway, so, if you two want to disrobe first-"

"No, babe," Pete whispers. "I mean. I guess I shouldn't speak for Izzy, but-"

"I need someone to help me find and read through Bonnet's journal."

At that, Lucius nearly knocks him over with how quickly he moves.

"You could have just said you wanted to snoop," he adds as he leads Izzy into the galley and behind the counter. "Kept in here for now because-"

"Usually he keeps it with him, so no one, me, would think to look here and read up on the birthday plans."

Lucius nods and sets the journal on the countertop. "Look, Izzy..."

"All I need you to do is tell me what they want to know and to write it down for me," Izzy continues. "Then we can both fuck off back to bed."

"You're fully dressed; you absolutely took the night watch shift from whoever was supposed t-" Lucius pauses. "Oh. That was my turn. Whoops!"

"Consider us even with this," Izzy taps the journal cover. "Let's get it done."

"Okay," Lucius opens up to a very empty page. "Oh. Ah."

"What?"

"... favourite cake flavour?"

"Oh god."

"The detail," Ed muses as he reads over the pages. "Lucius, how did you get him to tell you all this? I think there's some of this he hasn't told me since...well, reading about it reminds me of being kids together, so..."

Stede watches a hint of panic cross Lucius' face.

"They fucked," Pete blurts out. "Um. In here. We all did; all three of us, but we cleaned up right away."

"Why wouldn't you?" Roach asks. "Pete. Peter."

Pete keeps his eyes locked towards them though. "And then he was so grateful, that he agreed to tell us everything we needed!"

"But he doesn't know it's for his birthday?" Ed asks. "How?"

Pete frowns. "We're just that good."

"At sex or interrogation?"

"Yeah."

Ed hands Stede the journal. "Oh, look here! It's on August-oh that little shit."

"What?" Lucius asks.

"August is my mum's birthday," Ed scoffs. "One of the few I can remember. And...wait. No."

"What?" Stede runs his eyes back over the page. "I'm not...Ed, give us something here."

"Lucius telling us about Alma and Mary should have been a hint," Ed chuckles. "I can't believe I forgot! He and my mum have the same birthday."

"So had we just talked about your mum-" Olu starts.

"He probably would have remembered right away," Jim sighs.

There's a gentle, awkward, silence that fills the room.

"Did we overcomplicate it all?" Stede asks, breaking the silence as loudly as he dares.

"We may have done," Ed nods. "Plus, I think Fang knows some of this stuff too, actually. We could have waited until him and Ivan were back from vacation, in a week, I guess."

Stede can feel everyone's eyes on them. Not mad exactly, not judging, he isn't entirely sure of the word for it, but it is Something.

"Ah."

"Mhm, yeah."

Izzy stares at the paper on the floor by his boots. Something is written on it, which is lovely, but he can't read well enough to figure out what the fuck it says.

Handwriting is Bonnet's though, so there's a small clue.

He dresses and readies himself for the day, pondering if it isn't somehow more birthday nonsense. Sweet nonsense, but nonsense all the same. As if they'd actually follow through on any of it anyway, and to do so nearly four months in advance would be odd.

A knife nearly takes off his left ear as he steps out in the barely there sunrise.

"Fuck," Jim scowls and rushes towards him. "I wasn't actually trying to do that."

"I know. If you'd wanted to kill me with that, you would have."

Jim nods. "Okay, so this was a whole-the captains did a... it's like a game?"

"Birthday?"

"Yeah."

"Do they know it's all of May...fuck."

"I think it's the fourteenth," Jim sighs. "Did you read the note Captain Stede left in there by chance?"

"I can't read that well."

Jim looks exhausted. "I'm just gonna tell you what to do for each step."

"Okay," Izzy sighs to himself and crouches in front of the goat. "Betsy. You apparently got yourself involved in this?"

She chews some hay, which may as well be a yes. That, and the gift box balanced on her back.

"You thought you had it bad enough trying to make sure Edward has enough milk for his tea," Izzy scoffs and snags the box. "Bet you never thought your life would end up here, hm?"

She gently headbutts his shoulder.

"Yeah, I didn't see this for myself either. But..."

He peeks out of the room. Clear.

"I'm not totally hating this," Izzy whispers. "I haven't gotten to fuck around like this since Ed and I were kids. Used to do just enough to not get punished too badly, but the rest of the time I think you would have been more useful than us to have aboard."

She headbutts his shoulder again, enough to hurt.

"Sorry, sorry. You're more useful than us now, so of course you would have been back then too."

He's putting off opening the box. He knows he is, so he shoves it in his trouser pocket before standing and leaving.

He's got at least six more stops before the galley, and it's nearly lunch already.

"Hi."

Buttons nods, and gestures to the scene he's centered in on the long dinner table. "A bit of theatre, if you will."

"Is this still about my birthday?"

Buttons, completely nude except for the frosting covering his cock, nods. "We all got to add our personal flavour to this bit though."

"I'd guessed that. Not to be too forward but yours... vanilla?"

"Poppy seed, actually," Buttons runs a finger along the frosting. "Care for a taste?"

Izzy hesitates. "I can't tell if you're hitting on me or if this is scripted."

"Script called for a bit of conversation between us, topic was my choice. As was the costume."

Buttons gestures to the box, back out of his pocket and in his right hand. "Betsy did her job well! She's a good ship's goat."

"She is," Izzy says. "I didn't know...can I open this?"

"They didn't say you had to wait."

For whatever reason, it feels safest enough to do in front of Buttons and his frosted cock, of all things.

The hinge opens easily, and he peers at the-

"Fucking christ," he gasps. "Bonnet picked this out."

"How could you tell?"

It's a gorgeous necklace, with what seems like a decently reinforced chain (something he's shocked Stede thought of) and a teardrop emerald in it. Not all that big to most of the people Stede probably knew before them, but for sailing, it's almost ostentatious.

He loves it.

"Um. The theatre thing?" Izzy asks as he puts the necklace on, and fights the urge to immediately hide it under his shirt. No one is going to rip it off his neck, not like before, not like-

"That's just what he wanted to call frosting his dick and displaying it," Roach steps into the room. "Sorry, took a moment to finish up the frosting on this!"

He has to smile. He can't even try to hide it. They'd actually done some of it, and cared enough to get it right.

"Before you ask, yes, I made separate bowls of frosting for each...item," Roach says. "Technically, everyone was going to be in here with us right away, but the ship is a tiny bit on fire-"

Izzy stands. "Why didn't you lead with that?!"

"Because it was way more on fire earlier while you were below deck, and now it's better!" Roach protests. "Sit, we don't have to wait for them for the food. The rest of the gifts we do though."

"This isn't it? I've been at this since dawn though!"

"Look," Roach sighs and plates up slices of cake for the three of them. "It was going to be just a party and one gift, but we felt sort of bad about how weird it all went and Ed not remembering-"

"Ed never remembers birthdays," Izzy shrugs. "That's why we had a calendar, for a bit."

"Yeah, he mentioned the calendar. Point is, we wanted to really do it up since...all of that and-"

Roach splutters. "Um. Vanilla, really?"

"Doesn't smell much of vanilla," Izzy frowns and sniffs the frosting on his slice. "Smells like smoke."

Roach freezes, and looks to Buttons. "They had it under control more or less, right?"

In a flash, they're out of the room leaving him alone with the increasing heat, smell of smoke, and the cake.

Izzy studies the slice of cake, then digs in. If he's going to burn alive, he'll do it with his birthday cake, on his fake birthday, in one of the nicest necklaces he's ever been given.

Beats how terrible his twentieth through thirtieth birthdays were by a long shot, that's for sure.

#text post #long post #this was the fic i mentioned earlier and idk it's less fic bc it could?? keep going but i just chose an end point as if i was like #having to cut an episode for time if that makes sense?#anyway i can add additional tags if ppl want to filter this but for those who don't uhhhh #izzys bday except it isn't except it is but not really and there's cake and i switched between perspectives to play a bit #like we start with stede but as it goes on it turns to izzy and his perspective bc it is is his bday and as it goes on too #it becomes less abt the gesture exactly and more abt them learning abt izzy even if things are far from perfect?#look i set the ship on fire at the end in a panic to end this and left iz eating his bday cake alone I TRIED #this idea wouldn't let me go but was this stubborn abt being written in any way it's so rude

1 note · View note