Since writing the affirmations and starting manifestation again, I've actually been in a much better headspace. It's crazy how things align, and you end up where you need to be, especially through pain

Wingman Wayne AU pt4 is here! | AO3 link

Eddie comes back home from his not-a-date with Steve much later than planned; the two of them ended up spending the whole afternoon at the cafe together, sharing stories, getting to know each other, laughing at weird passersby... Eddie hadn't even noticed how much time had passed until it was already getting dark outside.

Wayne is about ready to head out for his night shift when Eddie gets to the trailer, and shoots him a way too smug look.

'So your date went well, huh?'

Eddie makes a face at him. ‘Don’t jump to conclusions too quickly, old man,’ he says. ‘In all honesty, I do have to admit that Steve’s actually a good guy - but that’s the only credit you’ll be gettin’ here. We merely had a fun time bonding over some queer stuff. I can assure you that there was completely no attraction whatsoever.’

Wayne's face drops. 'That's too bad, Ed.'

'No, it's not,' Eddie replies. 'I'm perfectly happy being single, you do know that, right?'

'Yeah, of course.' But it doesn't quite sound like he means it.

'Seriously, don't worry about me. I'm fine,’ Eddie says. He gives Wayne an affectionate pat on his near-bald head. ‘And you should go to work now, before they fire you for being a sentimental old man.'

As soon as Wayne’s truck drives off, Eddie finds himself at the phone, the gross note with Steve's number on it clenched in his hand again.

'Hey, um, just wanted to let you know that uncle was very disappointed there was no spark between us,' Eddie reports when Steve picks up the phone.

'Well, let's hope he finally learned his lesson not to mingle in your love life, then,' Steve answers with a light chuckle.

'He's the worst,' Eddie says, but then immediately feels bad about it, so he adds, 'He actually means well. I think he worries. Not that he needs to, I decided I'm better off single anyway.'

'Really?' Steve sounds surprised.

'Yeah, I guess I'm not exactly a relationship type of guy, you know.'

'You've never been in a relationship?' There's no judgment behind the question, only curiosity.

'Uhh...' Eddie hesitates. But Steve's queer too, he'd understand, right?

'I don't know,' he settles on saying. 'I mean, I've been someone's dirty secret a couple times. Turns out that my definition of a relationship doesn't always align with that of closeted Chads. So that’s why I decided I'm better off alone.'

There's a silence at the other end of the line, and Eddie wonders if he overshared again. He knows he shouldn't do that, but sometimes he just can't help himself. He had been so excited about having met a fellow queer guy, someone who'd understand him... Maybe he misjudged Steve after all.

'You do know there are options out there that aren't closeted Chads, right?' Steve finally says. It sounds genuinely empathetic, putting a halt to Eddie's spiraling thoughts and reminding him that he doesn't need to worry, that Steve's a good guy, that he indeed understands.

Eddie laughs. 'Sorry, Stevie, you're still not my type.'

'I'm not – that's wasn't – I didn't mean it like that,' Steve splutters at the other end of the line. 'I just meant, you know, it’s not completely impossible that there could be someone out there for you. Someone who won't treat you like some dirty secret, who will love you as much as you deserve, you know?'

Eddie feels his cheeks heat up at those words. He clears his throat, suddenly feeling nervous but not exactly knowing why. 'You're starting to sound like my uncle,' he tries to joke.

Steve chuckles. 'Maybe your uncle is wiser than you give him credit for.'

'Are you calling yourself wise, Steve?'

'No, I'm calling your uncle wise. You should probably listen to him more.'

'If I listened to him more, we'd be going on another date tomorrow and get married this summer. Is that what you want, Stevie?'

'Well, the getting married this summer sounds a bit rushed,' Steve says, 'but I wouldn't mind seeing you again.'

Eddie's heart drops to his stomach. 'Steve...' he starts, all the jokey undertones having disappeared from his voice. 'I told you that it's not like that, for me.' He thought he had been more than clear about that right from the start, in fact.

'No! Oh, God, no, I didn't mean it like that,' Steve immediately says. 'I just meant, like, if you ever wanna hang out or something... As friends, you know. It's um – it'd be nice to have a – another queer friend.'

Eddie releases a relieved breath. 'Okay, got it,' he says. 'Good. Perfect. Yeah, we should definitely hang out another time. As friends.'

Pt5

Jesus H Christ I’m honestly blown away by the response to this silly au, it means so much to me <333 I’m reading all your lovely comments and hilarious tags with the biggest smile on my face, makes me sooo happy!!

(Update: apparently there was something wrong with the taglist but I think I fixed it, sorry!! Please lemme know if the tags are still not coming through)

Taglist: @phantypurple @love-kurdt @eddiemunsonswife @mackdaddyofheimlichcountyy @swimmingbirdrunningrock @paintsplatteredandimperfect @stevesbipanic @momotonescreaming @yourebuckingkiddingme @th3-r4t-k1ng @messrs-weasley @moonshadows-13 @im-sam-fucking-winchester @xjessicafaithx @yournowheregirl @henderdads @lwhoscribbles @courtjestermunson @steveisabicon @rainydays35  @cassaloopa @skeliiix @thesuninyaface @silversnaffles @jestyzesty @4nemo1egend @ace-of-foxes @harringtonsgother @thegingervulcan @snapshotmaestro @thereindeerlady @jillfriend @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @gamerdano @spectrum-spectre @zerokrox-blog @00biscuit @mixsethaddams @steve-the-hairrington @episcogoth @caligularib @gaydrieeen @winterbuckwild @bookbinderbitch @daysarestranger @nonbinary-eddie-munson @fangirltofangod @solalasoforth @obsessivlyme @slit-wrist @fxndom-hoe @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @joruni @roastingdragon @lenore1232 @princessstevemunson @cuips-not-cute @munsonsuccubus @justalittlefungi @cherrycolas-things @nitrilexam @thepainisspicy @hopefulslothcollecter @whatisreggieshortfor @doctorqueensanatomy @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @sadcanadianwinter @iamsotiredman @orangeandthefairroadkill @anything-thats-rock-and-roll @b-icetea @freddykicksasses @faery-god @poleaxed-aloe @mamaclownhunter @paperbackribs @blvckwidow @mightbeasleep @butuglypeoplefucktoo @lolawon @angryavocadofrog @iwouldsail @livelaughlexa @magpiemuseum @shushuac  @ravnlinn @homohomohoe @kissaphobic-kas @cmackz93 @your-greatest-queen @alltheweirdkidsinoneplace @soulsofstarsliveinyourveins @ceaselessly-watching @anaibis @enchantedlandcoffee @fluffy-alpaca-of-darkness @nelotegreitic @mollymawkwrites @evix-syne666 @redfreckledwolf @ajamlessbaby @connected-dots @nothisisntmyname @steddieassheg0es @anxiouseds

Bakugo x reader smut!!

hi guys! this is my first time writing smut so pls have mercy on me- 

At this moment in your life, you stopped to ask yourself, how the fuck did you end up here.

It was supposed to be a one-time thing, but here you are again. Trapped under Katsuki’s large frame, whimpering like a bitch in heat as he hits your cervix with every harsh thrust after thrust.

In all honesty, you can’t act like you didn’t lay awake at night, touching yourself an imagining it were him instead. His hands, which were significantly bigger than yours, feeling all around your body, every inch of your skin, claiming it as his. After all, you’d never let anybody else touch you like this. Wouldn’t even dare to think of anyone else thrusting into your tight cunt, calling you his good fucking girl. Telling you that you look so pretty taking his cock like this, saying you feel so damn good squeezing around him every time he whispers praises into your ear.

You let out some mixture of a gasp and a moan when he lifts your leg over his shoulder to fuck you from a better angle. You quickly reach up to grab onto him and drag your nails down his back hard, which will most definitely leave a mark, but he’ll worry about that later. Right now, he’s too focused on the face you make when he slows his thrusts and rubs right against that spot that drives you crazy. Right against the spot that has you clenching around him and begging, pleading, saying any and everything you could think of to convince him to let you cum.

“K-kats, fuck- please, please let me cum, need it so bad, please” you’re so close to losing your mind, the pleasure is too much and it’s taking everything that you have to not finish without his permission. You know better than to do that. You learned your lesson from last time and you’ll never make that mistake again. “Now, baby,” he says, caressing your face gently. For a second, you almost think he’ll let you. But oh, no. You underestimate him. You seem to have forgotten one little detail. Because that light, feathery touch t your face is followed by a slap that brings you to tears. “That’s not my fucking name, now is it, princess?”

Your mind goes blank in that very moment. The sudden impact leaving you speechless, throwing you deeper into subspace than you’ve ever been before.

“ ‘m sorry daddy Im sorry- please let me cum I’ll be good, wanna cum for you. Wanna be your good girl, please, please-“ Your begging is cut off by yet another slap to your cheek and a strong grip on your jaw, forcing you to look up and make eye contact with him. “There’s my good girl. Come on baby, go ahead. Cum for me, slut.” And that’s all it takes for the pressure in your lower stomach to release, you let out a nearly pornographic moan as you finish, squeezing him so goddamn tight, he can’t help but to let go as well. His cum fills you up little by little, and his thrusts slow as he pumps you full of his seed, pressing soft kisses to your lips and forehead, he lets you know just how much of a good girl you were and how well you did for him.

Once you both calm down and catch your breath, he picks you up and carries you to the bathtub. Setting it up with your favorite soap and some bath salts, slowly and carefully placing you into the warm water, he helps you get cleaned up and even dries you off and dresses you when you’re done. He then quickly changes the sheets on your shared bed. He lifts you up and under the covers, pulling you into him and holding you tightly.

“I love you” you say quietly as you start to drift off to sleep in his arms. “I love you too, baby, now get some rest, we got shit to do tomorrow.” You smile and kiss him, then relaxing back into him and falling asleep.

#100 Song Lyric Prompts

No one specifically requested, but I wanted to do this so bad! Here we go...

“Will nature make a man of me yet?”- The Smiths, This Charming Man

“If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?”- Lynyrd Skynyrd, Free Bird

“When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her.”- Hozier, Work Song

“I don’t think that we should be alone together, when we’re in a room you get my eyes, you open your mouth I’m hypnotised”- The Neighbourhood, Single

“She looks as if she’s blowing a kiss at me and suddenly the sky is a scissor”- Arctic Monkeys, That’s where you’re wrong

“You think you want to be alone, just wait until you’re crying on the shower floor” “They’ve got a pretty face, but they’ve got a pretty empty head.” “But how the hell do you fall in love, the last time I checked you can’t fall in slow mo”- LANY- The Breakup *There were too many good ones in this song, I couldn’t help myself*

“I know it’s mad, but if I go to hell will you go with me or just leave?” - Panic! At The Disco, Do you know what I'm seeing?

“I don’t know who’s protecting me, but we hit it off”- Drake, Sandra’s Rose

“Do me a favour and break my nose, do me a favour and tell me to go away?”- Arctic monkeys, Do me a favour

“Baby just came back around, said she needs time to explore, said I can’t love her no more”- The Neighbourhood, Baby came home

“Just one mistake, you say you’re not in love no more, but was it really love if you can leave me for something so innocent is this the end?”- LANY, Thick and thin

“You can have Manhattan, I know it’s for the best, I’ll gather up the avenues and leave them on your doorstep. I’ll tiptoe away so you won’t have to say you heard me leave.” “You can have Manhattan, the one we used to share, the one where we were laughing and drunk on just being there. Hang onto the reverie, could you do that for me?”- Sara Bareilles, Manhattan

“You don’t love me, big fucking deal, I’ll never tell you how I feel.” “I'll send my best regards from Hell”- Marina and the Diamonds, Starring Role

“I been writing these songs ‘bout how I can’t be with you. I don’t want to be a monster, but I’ve been here for days, drinking too much now I want you, can’t get you off my brain.”- Henry, Monster, Eng. version

“Change lives, get better, yeah that be the plan” “That’s why you see me winning, yeah, even after I lose”- Jay Park, Ask bout me

“Love is not looking over shoulders, Love is you should trust what I told you” “Love is not struggling to say I love you”- 6LACK, Disconnect

“All these people taking miles when you give them an inch, all these followers but who's gonna follow me until the end?”- Drake, Emotionless

“She’s in the rain, you wanna hurt yourself I’ll stay with you, you wanna make yourself go through that pain, It’s better to be held than holding on,”- The Rose, She’s In The Rain *Absolutely love this one, don’t @ me, I will die for the The Rose**

“Sex by the fire at night”- Bruno Mars, That’s What I Like

“I’ve got the good side of you, sent it out into the blue.”- Troye Sivan, Good Side

“Standing by the window, rain falling, I want to have you full in my embrace and tell you, even when I’m born again and love you, even then, will you be with me?”- KREAM, 선물 Gift *Translated*

“It all passes, Someday, For sure, Certainly”- RM, ft. NELL, everythingoes *Translated*

“Please stay as long as you need, can't promise that things won't be broken, but I swear that I will never leave. Please stay forever with me”- Sleeping With Sirens, Scene One- James Dean & Audrey Hepburn

“When you move, I'm put to mind of all that I wanna be, when you move I could never define all that you are to me”- Hozier, Movement

“Wake up and smell the coffee, is your cup half full or empty?”- Billie Eilish, come out and play

“Am I a bad person? Or am I just in pain?”- DEAN, Sulli, Rad Museum, Dayfly *Translated*

“Kiss me on the lips, a secret just between the two of us, deeply poisoned by the jail of you, I cannot worship anyone but you and I knew the grail was poisoned but I drank it anyway”- BTS, Blood Sweat & Tears *Translated*

“When the sun sets and darkness comes, I only remember your warmth, where the stars wrap around us. I’m going there, I’ll be there”- SEVENTEEN, Highlight *Translated*

“I don't ever wanna feel like anything I do ever had a fucking resonance or meant a thing to you.”- Frank Carter & The Rattlesnakes, I Hate You

“You can’t take this away from me, the way I hit the melody, the waves bring clarity, running through me”- Tom Misch, Del La Soul, It Runs Through Me

“It was a lie when they smiled and said you won’t feel a thing”- My Chemical Romance, Disenchanted

“The fog has lifted and things get clear, all the lies pass by like a reel of film. I hate you”- EXO, 내가 미쳐 (Going Crazy) *Translated*

“I’m sorry- no, I’m not sorry, I’m just getting started and my life’s a party”- DEAN, Eric Bellinger, I’m Not Sorry

“Ain’t it fun, living in the real world?”- Paramore, Ain’t It Fun

“Ready or not, we are coming back- yeah, we’re over, we can tell you ‘bout what you need. You can look it up when you’re older”- Evergreen, Cargo Cult

“You, you got so much potential, every moment spent with you I bet was always eventful”- Aminé, Kehlani, Heebiejeebies- Bonus

“Could you imagine the taste of your lips if we never tried to kiss on the drive to Queens? 'Cause I imagine the weight of your ribs if you lied between my hips in the backseat”- Halsey, Roman Holiday

“Forever isn’t for everyone, is forever for you?”- Arctic Monkeys, Snap Out Of It

“Wish you good luck being lonely, I’mma push red every time you phone me. You vow to be a memory”- Ella Mai, ft. Ty Dolla $ign, She Don’t

“I’ve been dazed and confused from the day I met you, yeah I lost my head and I’d do it again”- Ruel, Dazed & Confused

“I just want you closer, is that alright? Baby let's get closer tonight”- Paolo Nutini, Last request

“You have no idea how pretty you are when you wake from sleep, you have no idea how beautiful you look as you get ready for bed”- Zion.T, No Makeup *Translated*

“I was thinking I could fly to your hotel tonight, baby, ‘cos I can’t get you off my mind”- Shawn Mendes, Lost In Japan

“She's soothing like the ocean rushing on the sand, she takes care of me, baby, she helps me be a better man. She's so beautiful, sometimes I stop to close my eyes, she's exactly what I need”- Jeremy Passion, Lemonade

“And her lips are like the galaxy's edge and her kiss the colour of a constellation falling into place”- Arctic Monkeys, Arabella

“It's how you look, not how you feel. A city of glass with no heart”- Queens of the Stone Age, If I Had a Tail

“I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife”- Hozier, Take Me To Church

“Bitter and hardened heart, Oh, aching- waiting for life to start”- Keane, Bend & Break

“When you move I'm put to mind of all that I wanna be, when you move I could never define all that you are to me”- Hozier, Movement

“She said, ‘Baby, I'm afraid to fall in love, 'cause what if it's not reciprocated?’ I told her, ‘Don't rush girl, don’t you rush, guess it's all a game of patience.’”- Pink Sweat$, Honesty

“Share a casket with you, we’ll be buried alive, me and her playing truth ‘til the day we die.”- Granata Ft. Phoniks, You Dont Need Me

“And hope that I had survived yesterday, and today is jealous of tomorrow.”- Emeli Sandé, Breathing Underwater

“Heaven if you sent us down so we could build a playground for the sinners to play as saints, you'd be so proud of what we've made.” Stephen, Crossfire

“Tell me how do you cope with it? How do you sleep with yourself at night? How do you cope with it? How do you sleep with yourself at night?”- blackbear, make daddy proud

“If anyone looks perfect, you look perfect next to me.”- Nick Wilson, Obsolete

“When I meet you after time passes, I’ll know (you were my future), I’ll know (I was your yesterday). When I meet you after time passes, I’ll know (you protected me), I’ll know (I desired you).”- SEVENTEEN (Wen Junhui & Xu Minghao), My I *Translated*

“I need my sex n’ drugs, I need my money first, bless me with all my sins.”- Abhi The Nomad, Ft. Harrison Sands & Copper King, Sex ‘n Drugs

“Naked and fallin' in love, look here I got you. Safe where there's no one to judge, keep it insightful.”- Keiynan Lonsdale, Preach

“All alone, all we know is haunting me, making it harder to breathe, harder to breathe.”- The Neighbourhood, Leaving Tonight

“Now I see you get off of the subway, haven't seen you in months but it's okay. I'd forgotten but I feel the same, hate that I still wish you were...”- Claud, Wish You Were Gay

“A perfect stranger lying next to me, he's playing God with broken figurines. He keeps calling me his little queen and I believe.”- Jake Wesley Rogers, Little Queen (This song deserves way more recognition, make sure to give it a listen!)

“Hell is so close to Heaven, hell is so close to Heaven. Hold on don't look back, you know we're better- we’re better than that. Lost and thrown away, you know we're better- we’re better than that.”- Sleeping With Sirens, The Strays

“Alone tonight, I’m drawing my dreams across the sky farther than I can imagine- She wants it.”- CIX, Movie Star *Translated*

“Yeah I mixed words and some whiskey on the flight just to make sure I landed on time and I wrote me a song I could sing just in case I forgot everything.”- Marc E. Bassy, Last One I Love

“Don't ask questions you don't wanna know, learned my lesson way too long ago.” “Deadly fever, please don't ever break, be my reliever 'cause I don't self medicate”- Billie Eilish, my strange addiction

“And it's worth it, it's divine, I have this some of the time.”- Hozier, Cherry Wine

“And I realize you're mine, Indeed, a fool am I.”- Queens of the Stone Age, No One Knows

“Look in the mirror ‘til I forget everything I know, everything I did was just a way to make the time feel faster.”- Miya Folick, Stock Image

“Do you feel how I feel? Are you numb? Do you tread crystal waters, bound to be stung? Are you scared? If I see you, we're upon, will you dye your hair dark so you're no longer blonde?”- Isaac Dunbar, Cologne

“Tell me; To you I’m bad & hurtful. Because I’ve been busy, you’re hurting. Bad, bad, bad, I’m bad, bad.”- Crush, NAPPA (나빠) *Translated*

“Just for the record, the weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of: A. Indifference or B. disinterest to what the critics say.”- Panic! At The Disco, London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines

“‘Cause you don’t say what you feel, I'm the one driving but you take the wheel. You wanna wait, 'til we're older, I'm the one who started this, but now I just want closure.”- Ieuan, Closure

“Our names carved in the pavement, sealed by what's left of our handprints, now. I told my mom, she'd love to meet you, but it's too bad she won't get the chance to.”- COIN, Malibu 1992

“I'm running outta time to hold you close, running outta time to be your man. I'm just lost in this moment, I've been zoning.”- blackbear, 4u

“Standing on your mama's porch, you told me that you'd wait forever. Oh and when you held my hand, I knew that it was now or never”- Bryan Adams, Summer Of ‘69

“I'll go out, grow my hair too long, sing your least favourite songs at the top of my lungs. I'll go out, kiss all of your friends, make a story and pretend it was me who made this end.”- The Vamps, Hair Too Long

“Getting my mind right, I'll wait 'til the time's right. I'm meaning to tell you why it's hard to sleep at night. There's nothing to fear now, girl, we should be here now. So why don't you hear me out?”- Jeremy Zucker, Ft. blackbear, talk is overrated

“We haven't spoke since you went away, comfortable silence is so overrated. Why won't you ever be the first one to break? Even my phone misses your call, by the way.”- Harry Styles, From the Dining Table

“Look overhead at the stars and the ocean, foggy emotions, moments, erosion. This supernova could cause a commotion, my minds of the notion, you'll still be my motive”- Ansel Elgort, Supernova

“I love that new dress you bought, yeah, you sure look nice. Heard you liked that new restaurant, you know, I've been there twice. And the way that you switch up your hair, all of the moments we've shared, strolling the streets back in Rome, oh, how I wish I was there. It ain't fair.”- Ruel, Face To Face

“Welcome to your life, there's no turning back. Even while we sleep we will find you acting on your best behaviour, turn your back on mother nature.”- Tear For Fears, Everybody Wants to Rule the World

“I'm wide awake, not losing any sleep, I picked up every piece and landed on my feet. I'm wide awake, need nothing to complete myself, no.” Katy Perry, Wide Awake

“If you don't realize, all of the things your life can do you will be left behind, swept up by the storm of those you knew.”- Meltycanon, thankful

“I always knew that we'd be by each other's side forever, now our time has come and I'd be satisfied if we died together. Yeah, our climate's fucked, we might as well enjoy the weather, our time is up and I'd be satisfied if we died together.”- Samsa, Anthropocene

“There's still so much to say, I'm faded, broken, pretending you're on the line, wasting my time. Sinking deeper, watching you spend your night, like I'll be fine and I'll be over this.”- NYK, Faded

“I’d rather go to hell, than be in purgatory, cut my hair, gag and bore me, pull this pin, let this world explode.”- My Chemical Romance, Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)

“I reached for a shooting star, it burned a hole through my hand Made its way through my heart, had fun in the promised land.”- blink-182, Wishing Well

“Let go of your baggage, but don’t think I don’t understand it’s probably a challenge,”- Isaac Lewis, Fly

“It's been a long night in New York city, it's been a long night in Baton Rouge. I don't remember you looking any better, but then again, I don't remember you.”- John Mayer, Who Says

“They say that love kills, it ain't quite what it seems, don't be shocked when you lost what you called ‘meant to be’.”- StayLoose, Bryce Fox, Sociopath

“When they come for You, I will shield Your name, I will field their questions, I will feel Your pain.”- Kanye West, Ultralight Beam

“Two steps forward, one step back and it won’t be long til my heart attack, yup! And common sense falls second place to the way it feels when you kiss my face, yup!”- The Band CAMINO, 2 / 14

“Leaving empty souls when he avenged, evil spirits flowed, he drank the blood like lemonade.”- Morcheeba, Blood Like Lemonade

“Your smile will become a classic; the brilliance of sunlight, the haziness of the moonlight exist for the sake of promises.”- WayV, Moonwalk

Dear God, I hope you got the letter and I pray you can make it better down here. I don't need a big reduction in the price of beer, but all the people that you made in your image- see them starving on their feet.”- Lawless, Sydney Wayser, Dear God

“Down below, sandy, like the ocean floor, quiet, like I like it; here I'll never be alone.”- slenderbodies, anemone

“I love everything, fire spreading all around my room, my world's so bright, it's hard to breathe but that's alright- hush.”- Sub Urban, Cradles

“I'm telling myself, I'm telling myself, ‘I don't need you anymore’.”- Lia Marie Johnson, Cold Heart Killer

“So I moved to California, but it's just a state of mind, it turns out everywhere you go, you take yourself, that's not a lie. Wish that you would hold me or just say that you were mine- it's killing me slowly.” Lana Del Rey,  Fuck it I love you

“See, she knows that I love her, but I don't think she'll stay and she knows that I need her, but my love's lost its weight. Spend my days longing for something real, spend my days stuck in the way I feel.”- JOBA, Sad Saturdays

S15: Dean and Cas

Pardon my lateness. Life is mental at the moment! I haven’t watched 15x17 yet but hope to do so today or tomorrow. Gods preserve me, for then there will be only three more episodes left. *is this real life??*

Okay, leaving that, let’s talk about Dean and Cas, shall we? Yes, we shall!

Dean and Cas’ relationship, or rather, how they relate themselves to each other, has been in focus this season, because it’s been pivotal to both of their arcs in canonically straightforward ways. Ways so straightforward that we haven’t really seen the likes of them since S11, and with the very heavy-duty callbacks to S11 these last two episodes, it all seems quite fitting.

I mean, Jack is a bomb like Dean was a bomb and Dean got to ask Amara why she would bring Mary back, and she got to clarify she meant it as a gift, a thank you at the end of S11, because Dean didn’t blow himself to kingdom come and her along with him, because instead he realised how he could broker peace and allow for light and dark to find balance.

Which is what Dean needs to find right now.

He needs to balance out the light and dark, the masculine and the feminine, the conscious and unconscious, the ego and the shadow. He needs to balance himself out in order to let go of his fury. Why does he need that? Why would the narrative continuously hit on him needing to let go of his anger? Because that’s the reason why he was put on this journey to begin with, this slow and steady coming-of-age-coming-into-his-own progression of finding forgiveness and feeling worthy and having faith that he deserves good things.

How do we know this?

Well, arguably this season through what happens to Dean whenever he gives his fury free range, whenever he allows it to hollow out his faith, his trust, making him one-track minded, suspicious and controlling: he loses something.

He loses Cas.

This season has been all about highlighting what happens when Dean is unable to be even the slightest bit self-aware, when he veers off the path of self-acceptance. This season, Dean has had Cas disappear out of his life twice: first when Cas walked out of the bunker and second in Purgatory, when Cas went with the Leviathan. (to get them away from Dean)

The first time Dean almost lost Cas was really all about highlighting Cas’ independence (thank fuck for that), letting us see how far they’ve come in their relationship, because Dean didn’t dig himself a grave this time, perhaps having faith, in spite of it all, that Cas would come back to him, and Cas went off on his own, feeling like there was nothing left for him at the bunker when there was no forgiveness to be had from Dean.

Except, Cas thought better of it. He realised it wasn’t just on Dean to push for change—it was on him as well. And, knowing Dean, Cas had the epiphany that he would have to lead the way. 

Dean, of course, not being able to forgive and forget all that easily, needed a final push, which is why the second time he almost lost Cas was all about Dean. He had to confront his anger. He had to, because naming it and admitting it as the root cause of so many of his actions (and reactions) is a cornerstone for him to begin letting that anger go.

Almost losing Cas brought him to a moment of clarity, brought him to take a knee and admit to being wrong and offering the forgiveness he’d been holding back, because being angry is easier, especially when, it could be argued, you were beginning to feel that trust in good things lasting.

Yeah, speaking of good things lasting, it brings us to this question: Why is Dean so angry? 

He doesn’t know why (or so he claims) and he probably does need to have his eyes opened for him, the way Amara tried to open them, the way his conversation with her was a highlighter for the point he’s being pushed to finally reach in his progression: forgiving the past, embracing the present, trusting in the future and in the fact that he deserves to live a long and happy rest of his life. 

The fact that she’s completely dressed in pink - hello positive femininity representative who kicks ass and who once almost killed God and then was balanced out so that she instead healed him with her light and they twisted into dark and light smoke and went off together - is just delicious icing on the cake.

Yeah, and that’s the issue, Dean, alright, buddy?

Dean is angry because his mother died and her death meant that he lost his father too, it meant that he didn’t get to have a childhood, it meant that he stopped believing that he could have good things that would last, because of a confused sense of identity and a crippled sense of self-worth—why did bad things happen to him if he didn’t deserve it somehow?— and pushed him to mold himself into what would make him feel strong and brave: the image that his father projected. 

The soldier.

The weapon and the shield.

And now it seems Protect Sammy has morphed into Sacrifice Jack, all because Dean’s fury at Chuck’s manipulation isn’t containable, and there’s no way Dean’s going to let Chuck live. Even if it means Jack dies in the process. As Dean said to Sam in 15x16: at least it’s not them this time. 

All the while we just sit here and witness Dean morphing into the revenge thirsty spitting image of his father one last time, for one final, big ole push towards the line he’ll have to cross if he’s to finally understand once and for all where it’s actually drawn.

At Cas’ feet.

Remember back in S12, before Cas died, there was that subtle (erm) motif of pointy things going through people’s hearts from behind? Yeah. It happened twice, if I remember correctly, before the pointy end of an angel blade went through Cas’ heart and he died an angel death in the season finale.

Yeah. That.

So.

So now, in S15, we have Cas caught in a motif again, only this time Dean is right there with him, because it involves both of them. 

We’ve had anger and loss, and then honesty and forgiveness.

We’re back to anger, we’re back to Dean seeing red, blinded by it, and the only thing—we’ve been shown—that can unblind him is…?

That’s right: losing Cas.

So he will lose Cas again. We’ve been on the precepice of this as fact for a good long while now, haven’t we, my merry macarons? We have indeed! The question becomes how will Dean lose Cas again? Is Cas actually going to die? Again??

I still sincerely doubt it.

I think Cas will find another way, and that other way will equal a sacrifice on his part. His life? I mean, it could be, but what about the Empty? What about allowing himself to be happy? It could add up somehow, I guess I just can’t see it. So I think the sacrifice will somehow involve Heaven, because we know Michael will be back, and I hope it will involve Hell and all of the forces God has brought into being working against him—together.

S p e c.

Now, I’m a sadist. No, not like that -> I’m a sadist when it comes to characters. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a sadist. (Misha Collins is one, as we all know) (I joke!) (down Bessie!) What I’m getting at is that I want Cas having no other recourse but to do whatever it is he’ll have to do to save Jack to, quite literally, break Dean. 

We know they’re all teary eyed in 15x18 (feels like it’s Billie whom Dean is glaring at) and we’ve seen Dean crying against a wall and omfg I want it to be explicit and over Cas. Yeah? 

We ain’t getting them driving off in the Impala together (which is fine btw because the final episode should focus on the brothers more than anything else) (I mean, a hint that they will be driving around in that Impala post season finale while Sam goes to be with Eileen would be fab, but we can only hope and wish, yeah?) (horses held), so let’s get Dean broken over thinking he’ll never see Cas again. 

Let it be done with a big fat black marker in enormous circles around his emotional state. Let him TELL Cas to stay this time, like he should’ve done when Cas walked out the door in 15x03, only for Cas to be unable to comply, because this is all to teach Dean a lesson that this is where his anger gets him, and what he needs to do to save Cas is let that anger go, stop thinking Jack is expendable, and find a better way.

I mean, this is speculation, guys. This is hoping and wishing all over this narrative. But glory effing be if it’s anywhere in the ballpark.

It would be mind-blowing if there was a God intervention of some sort, a talking down off the ledge, as it were, as per end of S11, but I’m not going to hold my breath for *rainbows*…

I’ll hold it for balance, though. :)

Cas has waited for Dean for a long time. Dean being dismissive of Cas in 15x15 can, once again— because whenever he acts like a dick it comes back to bite him on the ass (there’s a visual for you)— be looked at as part of the tapestry that makes Cas feel there’s nothing more for him but being a father to Jack. 

Dean did nothing but instill this feeling in Cas after Cas came back from the black hole that is the Empty in S13, Dean being all “You were brought back because we needed you”—Dean saying zero things about how he was basically ripping apart at the seams from the grief of losing Cas just hours before Cas made that phone call. 

And of course not. Why would Dean admit that? Even to himself, once Cas was back. 

He wouldn’t! 

Ignoring how he really feels about stuff and taking Cas for granted is kinda what he does, so back to normal it all went. So normal and so leveled out that something had to happen, right? Because, in Dean’s mind, good things don’t last.

And then Mary happened.

Oh, my heart!

And Dean went off and cried, by himself, because he still couldn’t show emotion that openly, even to the people closest to him. But he went down on his knees and he cried in Cas’ ear during that prayer, and that really was something.

That said, Mary’s death was Dean proven right once again, and this person, who is the source of faith and hope and that budding belief that maybe, this time, everything was going to actually get better and stay that way, became the target of Dean’s anger over the injustice of it all. Because Cas was the root of it. He’s always been the root of Dean’s slow-to-grow hope that could bloom into belief and trust, if he just dared let it, that he deserves to be happy.

I wrote in an ask reply that I doubt we’ll get human!Cas, but then I remembered that Cas is still status quo-ing it. It’s why he almost left the bunker without telling anyone again, that choice of skedaddling without checking in getting interrupted by Dean, and Cas being brought into a situation where he had to divulge the information, not only that he was leaving and might not make it back (Dean’s face though!), but that Jack is going through a trial that will ultimately destroy him, which was a nice shift in this dynamic of theirs.

Now, look it, the writers may end Cas’ journey on him status quo-ing it... but for the Empty. 

And I would shrug at the Empty and think, well, maybe that won’t come into play... but for the fact that the deal was brought up just a few episodes back. 

So. Happiness.  

Somehow something will need to push Cas toward a moment of happiness. And letting himself be happy is such a climactic moment for his entire journey—and look at how it perfectly mirrors what Dean is being pushed toward—that I find it difficult to see how that moment would bring an eternity in the Empty.

But I’ve written a lot of words on why I just can’t make sense of why they would choose to kill him or have his moment of happiness be tied to a narrative punishment so I’m not getting into all that again, but because both Dean and Cas are being pushed toward happiness, I’m curious to see which route the writers have chosen to take with it.

It would be thrilling and satisfying in equal measure if we finally get Dean crying over Cas, and only Cas. No filter of Bobby or Mary to take away focus and allow for an argument that he’s not actually grieving Cas. 

It would be thrilling and satisfying for it to be very baseline Just Cas. As it has been just Cas this entire season. Cas at the center of Dean’s anger. Cas at the center of Dean’s push toward healing. Cas having had enough, drawing a line—the one that is still there, at his feet—and doing what he’s always done best: calling Dean out on his bullshit behaviour. Cas making Dean put words to his anger, express forgiveness and say that he’s sorry and all within the same moment to boot.

What all this will amount to, we’ll have to wait and see. 

In a few weeks. Or next week. Or maybe there will be strong indicators where the pendulum is actually swinging in 15x17!

Holy. Hell.

But I can’t see it ending somewhere tragic. If it does, it does. And it will be what it will be. And I’ll mourn a little, and accept it and move on. But I do believe it will end somewhere hopeful. Somewhere that leaves things quite tied up, but also open to interpretation, so that we can pick and choose who ends up where and how these men decide to continue on their journeys, now that this enormous leg of their progression is done, and they’ve learned to put the past to rest.

And if S11 is anything to go by, then the echoes of that ending would be a powerful way to tie everything up, as S11 was meant to be the end of the road, until Andrew Dabb picked up the reins with an idea of how to continue the show for a few more seasons. Or so I’ve heard.

11x23 also gave us the most gloriously frustrating exchange ever written for two characters in a car. Omg. Dean we-ing the absolute hell out of his speech when it was him, he was the one, the entire time Cas was possessed by Lucifer, who insisted they make sure Cas came back unscathed. “You’re the best friend we ever had” my ass, Dean! 

I wanted to talk about Dean and Sam as well, but there’s too little time at the moment for me to write more. And it’s painful, but I have to concede or hit a wall and hitting walls fucken hurts. 

I will mention that Sam telling Dean off at the end of 15x16 still gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.

Finally, Sam. Finally.

As ever, sprinklings of salt all over this meta and speculation, my dearlings, but omfg it’s beautiful.

Right then. I’m off to watch 15x17! Wish me luck! *gah!*

Teen Wolf preferences...

How you meet: (Part 4)

Brett:

3rd person P.O.V:

You could see your best friend walking towards his old school's Lacrosse team as they got off the bus. 'Oh god' you thought "this isn't going to be good." you spoke out loud, concerned as to what Liam might do. You ran over to Liam as quick as you could. "Is everything ok Liam? You're not going to do something stupid are you?" You asked worried about his actions and the consequences that may come with it. "Don't worry, everything's fine." He said and you believed him, I mean he is your best friend after all. He started to march over to one of the team members and all of a sudden he came to a halt, yelling Brett and then carried on his stomping to get to him and even though he had a face full of anger he said: "I just wanted to say have a good game." To which Brett laughed in his face... 'Urghh, how rude' you thought. "That's cute Liam. Is that what they told you to say in your anger management? Apologise and everything will be alright." Liam stood there frozen, not knowing what to do as you stood behind him too stunned to even comprehend what he just said. "You demolished coaches car." Brett continued, "I paid for it!" Liam replied. "Yeah you're gonna pay for it, we're gonna break you in half out there, and it's gonna be all your fault." As Brett said this you could see Liam getting angrier by the second. Next thing you know Liam's being pulled away by Scott and Stiles but you decided to stay and give Brett a piece of your mind. "Who do you think you are?" you said with a face full of anger as Brett just stood with a sly smirk on his. "Brett, Brett Talbot and who are you sweetcheeks?" he replied. "Don't call me sweetcheeks, and I'm your worst nightmare bitch!" you more or less screamed in his face, feeling proud of yourself. "Oooh, feisty. I like it." Brett spoke, but you could tell he was trying to get under your skin. Yet you weren't about to let that happen. "How's this for fiesty arsehole?" and with that, you kneed him where the sun doesn't shine. Once you had done that you crouched beside him while he was doubled over in pain and whispered in his ear... "Listen here 'sweetcheeks' you do anything to hurt Liam or you know just anything out of line then I will grab your stupid werewolf arse and impale you to a tree... Next time, make sure you pick on someone your own size." Then you walked away with a new found confidence.

Theo:

Your P.O.V:

It's a nice sunny day so I decided it'd be fun to take my five-year-old nephew to the skate park to teach him how to ride. I know it's strange since he's only five but he's been trying to ride my skateboard since he could walk. "Ok Niklaus stand there, Auntie (Y/N) is going to show you something." I took a few steps back, placed the skateboard on the ground and proceeded to stand on it when all of a sudden I was knocked back off. All I can feel is pain shooting up my leg from my ankle. "Ow, my ankle..." I screeched since that's where I felt the most pain. "Oh my god, are you ok?" I heard someone say. "No, it's my ankle. It hurts so much." I replied trying to scream. "Ok, um... Just hold still." I heard the same person say, I looked up to see a gorgeous guy with a stunning smile crouching to pick me up. "I'm Theo, I'm going to take you to the hospital. Come on little man let's go get in the car ok." "Thank you, Theo, I'm (Y/N)."

*Five minutes later (during the car ride)*

"So, um... (Y/N) is this your son?" They asked me, and all I could do was laugh at him. Even though I've hurt my ankle because of this guy, I can't help but have these weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, and honestly, it's the most amazing feeling. He is the cutest person I have ever met, well apart from my nephew of course, but anyways seeing him so confused made me think he is so much cuter, even though I don't know how that's possible. "Why are you laughing?" Theo asked with his face still full of confusion. "Oh, sorry. It's just that's the funniest thing I've heard for a long time, but no, he's my nephew." I said making sure not to laugh because I didn't want him to think I was lying. I turned my head and looked towards him to see him looking extremely embarrassed. Then I turned my head back around and looked back out the window to see we have arrived at the hospital. Theo left the car, grabbing Nik from the backseat, closed the door and then came and got me from the front. He picked me up bridal style and carried me inside, he sat me down on the chairs and sat next to me alongside Nik.

*After being checked*

I eventually called to get checked after half an hour and now I've finally finished being checked by Mrs McCall. I walked back out into the waiting room to see Theo sat playing with Nik and the sight just made my heart melt. I walked towards them with a bit of a limp. As I arrived in front of them, Theo looks up at me and asks "Is everything ok?" "Yeah, just a sprained ankle but I should be fine," I replied. "Ready to go home Nik?" I asked. "Do we get to see mummy?" he asked. "Yeah kiddo we do," I told him and he started nodding his head vigorously eager to get home. "I can give you guys a ride." Theo chimed in. "That would be great, thank you," I replied with absolute gratefulness due to the fact I didn't have a clue as to how I would get home.

*Car ride to my house*

I gave Theo my address and we've been driving for the past ten minutes now when Theo spoke up. "So, umm, am I forgiven for busting your ankle?" "Well considering you made me laugh for the first time in quite a while then yes you are forgiven," I replied while chuckling a little. "Well, since I'm forgiven, I was wondering if I could get your phone number." He said with a cheesy little grin on his face. "Um, sure," I said just as we parked outside my house. We traded numbers and I then got out of the car and got Nik from the back seat. "Say bye to Theo, Nik." "Bye, bye Theo." "Cya Theo," I said. "I'll call you later and we can meet up sometime. I'll see you guys later. Bye." And with that, I walked up to my pathway and entered my house as I heard him drive away.

(So, I may have gotten a little carried away with Theo's and I'm extremely sorry. Kind of. But anyway, I'd like to say a huge thanks to yoitskats again for helping me with this concept. It is greatly appreciated and I adore you for all the help you have been giving me.)

Boyd:

His P.O.V:

I sat at the lunch table alone as per usual. I don't know why but for some reason no one seems to want to sit with me. Suddenly, I heard a tray drop beside me. "Hello, is it ok if I sit here?" I heard a girl say. I looked up to see the new girl stood next to me, I haven't really looked or spoken to her but from what I'm seeing now I must say she's absolutely stunning. "Oh, oh yeah. Feel free." I answered. "I'm (Y/N) by the way, and who are you may I ask?" Wow... She really wants a conversation. "I-I'm Veron Boyd, but most people call me Boyd and you can too,," I told her. "Great, so, I was wondering Boyd, what's this school like?" She asked me with curiosity lingering in her eyes. "Well, it's great I guess. You might prefer it more than I do." I answered honestly as I could. We spoke about ourselves for the next half an hour and then the bell rang for our next lesson. "Umm, maybe we can do this again sometime,," I said to her. "That sounds amazing, I'll make sure to be here same time tomorrow." She replied and from hearing her say what she just said makes me feel like life is definitely worth living. "Great, cya tomorrow," I told her, and in all honesty,y I can't wait for tomorrow, it is going to be great, I can just feel it.

(I couldn't really think of a good enough concept for a way for you to meet Boyd, he's not exactly a big character but I felt the need to add him even though I didn't have the biggest or the best idea for him.)

Song Prompts #1

“Will nature make a man of me yet?”- The Smiths, This Charming Man

“If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?”- Lynyrd Skynyrd, Free Bird

“When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her.”- Hozier, Work Song

“I don’t think that we should be alone together, when we’re in a room you get my eyes, you open your mouth I’m hypnotised”- The Neighbourhood, Single

“She looks as if she’s blowing a kiss at me and suddenly the sky is a scissor”- Arctic Monkeys, That’s where you’re wrong

“You think you want to be alone, just wait until you’re crying on the shower floor”

“They’ve got a pretty face, but they’ve got a pretty empty head.”

“But how the hell do you fall in love, the last time I checked you can’t fall in slow mo”- LANY- The Breakup *There were too many good ones in this song, I couldn’t help myself*

“I know it’s mad, but if I go to hell will you go with me or just leave?” - Panic! At The Disco, Do you know what I’m seeing?

“I don’t know who’s protecting me, but we hit it off”- Drake, Sandra’s Rose

“Do me a favour and break my nose, do me a favour and tell me to go away?”- Arctic monkeys, Do me a favour

“Baby just came back around, said she needs time to explore, said I can’t love her no more”- The Neighbourhood, Baby came home

“Just one mistake, you say you’re not in love no more, but was it really love if you can leave me for something so innocent is this the end?”- LANY, Thick and thin

“You can have Manhattan, I know it’s for the best, I’ll gather up the avenues and leave them on your doorstep. I’ll tiptoe away so you won’t have to say you heard me leave.”

“You can have Manhattan, the one we used to share, the one where we were laughing and drunk on just being there. Hang onto the reverie, could you do that for me?”- Sara Bareilles, Manhattan

“You don’t love me, big fucking deal, I’ll never tell you how I feel.”

“I’ll send my best regards from Hell”- Marina and the Diamonds, Starring Role

“I been writing these songs ‘bout how I can’t be with you. I don’t want to be a monster, but I’ve been here for days, drinking too much now I want you, can’t get you off my brain.”- Henry, Monster, Eng. version

“Change lives, get better, yeah that be the plan”

“That’s why you see me winning, yeah, even after I lose”- Jay Park, Ask bout me

“Love is not looking over shoulders, Love is you should trust what I told you”

“Love is not struggling to say I love you”- 6LACK, Disconnect

“All these people taking miles when you give them an inch, all these followers but who’s gonna follow me until the end?”- Drake, Emotionless

“She’s in the rain, you wanna hurt yourself I’ll stay with you, you wanna make yourself go through that pain, It’s better to be held than holding on,”- The Rose, She’s In The Rain *Absolutely love this one, don’t @ me, I will die for the The Rose**

“Sex by the fire at night”- Bruno Mars, That’s What I Like

“I’ve got the good side of you, sent it out into the blue.”- Troye Sivan, Good Side

“Standing by the window, rain falling, I want to have you full in my embrace and tell you, even when I’m born again and love you, even then, will you be with me?”- KREAM, 선물 Gift *Translated*

“It all passes, Someday, For sure, Certainly”- RM, ft. NELL, everythingoes *Translated*

“Please stay as long as you need, can’t promise that things won’t be broken, but I swear that I will never leave. Please stay forever with me”- Sleeping With Sirens, Scene One- James Dean & Audrey Hepburn

“When you move, I’m put to mind of all that I wanna be, when you move

I could never define all that you are to me”- Hozier, Movement

“Wake up and smell the coffee, is your cup half full or empty?”- Billie Eilish, come out and play

“Am I a bad person? Or am I just in pain?”- DEAN, Sulli, Rad Museum, Dayfly *Translated*

“Kiss me on the lips, a secret just between the two of us, deeply poisoned by the jail of you, I cannot worship anyone but you and I knew the grail was poisoned but I drank it anyway”- BTS, Blood Sweat & Tears *Translated*

“When the sun sets and darkness comes, I only remember your warmth, where the stars wrap around us. I’m going there, I’ll be there”- SEVENTEEN, Highlight *Translated*

“I don’t ever wanna feel like anything I do ever had a fucking resonance or meant a thing to you.”- Frank Carter & The Rattlesnakes, I Hate You

“You can’t take this away from me, the way I hit the melody, the waves bring clarity, running through me”- Tom Misch, Del La Soul, It Runs Through Me

“It was a lie when they smiled and said you won’t feel a thing”- My Chemical Romance, Disenchanted

“The fog has lifted and things get clear, all the lies pass by like a reel of film. I hate you”- EXO, 내가 미쳐 (Going Crazy) *Translated*

“I’m sorry- no, I’m not sorry, I’m just getting started and my life’s a party”- DEAN, Eric Bellinger, I’m Not Sorry

“Ain’t it fun, living in the real world?”- Paramore, Ain’t It Fun

“Ready or not, we are coming back- yeah, we’re over, we can tell you ‘bout what you need. You can look it up when you’re older”- Evergreen, Cargo Cult

“You, you got so much potential, every moment spent with you I bet was always eventful”- Aminé, Kehlani, Heebiejeebies- Bonus

“Could you imagine the taste of your lips if we never tried to kiss on the drive to Queens? ‘Cause I imagine the weight of your ribs if you lied between my hips in the backseat”- Halsey, Roman Holiday

“Forever isn’t for everyone, is forever for you?”- Arctic Monkeys, Snap Out Of It

“Wish you good luck being lonely, I’mma push red every time you phone me. You vow to be a memory”- Ella Mai, ft. Ty Dolla $ign, She Don’t

“I’ve been dazed and confused from the day I met you, yeah I lost my head and I’d do it again”- Ruel, Dazed & Confused

“I just want you closer, is that alright? Baby let’s get closer tonight”- Paolo Nutini, Last request

“You have no idea how pretty you are when you wake from sleep, you have no idea how beautiful you look as you get ready for bed”- Zion.T, No Makeup *Translated*

“I was thinking I could fly to your hotel tonight, baby, ‘cos I can’t get you off my mind”- Shawn Mendes, Lost In Japan

“She’s soothing like the ocean rushing on the sand, she takes care of me, baby, she helps me be a better man. She’s so beautiful, sometimes I stop to close my eyes, she’s exactly what I need”- Jeremy Passion, Lemonade

“And her lips are like the galaxy’s edge and her kiss the colour of a constellation falling into place”- Arctic Monkeys, Arabella

“It’s how you look, not how you feel. A city of glass with no heart”- Queens of the Stone Age, If I Had a Tail

“I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife”- Hozier, Take Me To Church

“Bitter and hardened heart, Oh, aching- waiting for life to start”- Keane, Bend & Break

“When you move I’m put to mind of all that I wanna be, when you move I could never define all that you are to me”- Hozier, Movement

“She said, ‘Baby, I’m afraid to fall in love, 'cause what if it’s not reciprocated?’ I told her, ‘Don’t rush girl, don’t you rush, guess it’s all a game of patience.’”- Pink Sweat$, Honesty

“Share a casket with you, we’ll be buried alive, me and her playing truth ‘til the day we die.”- Granata Ft. Phoniks, You Dont Need Me

“And hope that I had survived yesterday, and today is jealous of tomorrow.”- Emeli Sandé, Breathing Underwater

“Heaven if you sent us down so we could build a playground for the sinners to play as saints, you’d be so proud of what we’ve made.” Stephen, Crossfire

“Tell me how do you cope with it? How do you sleep with yourself at night? How do you cope with it? How do you sleep with yourself at night?”- blackbear, make daddy proud

“If anyone looks perfect, you look perfect next to me.”- Nick Wilson, Obsolete

“When I meet you after time passes, I’ll know (you were my future), I’ll know (I was your yesterday). When I meet you after time passes, I’ll know (you protected me), I’ll know (I desired you).”- SEVENTEEN (Wen Junhui & Xu Minghao), My I *Translated*

“I need my sex n’ drugs, I need my money first, bless me with all my sins.”- Abhi The Nomad, Ft. Harrison Sands & Copper King, Sex ‘n Drugs

“Naked and fallin’ in love, look here I got you. Safe where there’s no one to judge, keep it insightful.”- Keiynan Lonsdale, Preach

“All alone, all we know is haunting me, making it harder to breathe, harder to breathe.”- The Neighbourhood, Leaving Tonight

“Now I see you get off of the subway, haven’t seen you in months but it’s okay. I’d forgotten but I feel the same, hate that I still wish you were…”- Claud, Wish You Were Gay

“A perfect stranger lying next to me, he’s playing God with broken figurines. He keeps calling me his little queen and I believe.”- Jake Wesley Rogers, Little Queen (This song deserves way more recognition, make sure to give it a listen!)

“Hell is so close to Heaven, hell is so close to Heaven. Hold on don’t look back, you know we’re better- we’re better than that. Lost and thrown away, you know we’re better- we’re better than that.”- Sleeping With Sirens, The Strays

“Alone tonight, I’m drawing my dreams across the sky farther than I can imagine- She wants it.”- CIX, Movie Star *Translated*

“Yeah I mixed words and some whiskey on the flight just to make sure I landed on time and I wrote me a song I could sing just in case I forgot everything.”- Marc E. Bassy, Last One I Love

“Don’t ask questions you don’t wanna know, learned my lesson way too long ago.”

“Deadly fever, please don’t ever break, be my reliever 'cause I don’t self medicate”- Billie Eilish, my strange addiction

“And it’s worth it, it’s divine, I have this some of the time.”- Hozier, Cherry Wine

“And I realize you’re mine, Indeed, a fool am I.”- Queens of the Stone Age, No One Knows

“Look in the mirror ‘til I forget everything I know, everything I did was just a way to make the time feel faster.”- Miya Folick, Stock Image

“Do you feel how I feel? Are you numb? Do you tread crystal waters, bound to be stung? Are you scared? If I see you, we’re upon,

will you dye your hair dark so you’re no longer blonde?”- Isaac Dunbar, Cologne

“Tell me; To you I’m bad & hurtful. Because I’ve been busy, you’re hurting. Bad, bad, bad, I’m bad, bad.”- Crush, NAPPA (나빠) *Translated*

“Just for the record, the weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of: A. Indifference or B. disinterest to what the critics say.”- Panic! At The Disco, London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines

“‘Cause you don’t say what you feel, I’m the one driving but you take the wheel. You wanna wait, 'til we’re older, I’m the one who started this, but now I just want closure.”- Ieuan, Closure

“Our names carved in the pavement, sealed by what’s left of our handprints, now. I told my mom, she’d love to meet you, but it’s too bad she won’t get the chance to.”- COIN, Malibu 1992

“I’m running outta time to hold you close, running outta time to be your man. I’m just lost in this moment, I’ve been zoning.”- blackbear, 4u

“Standing on your mama’s porch, you told me that you’d wait forever. Oh and when you held my hand, I knew that it was now or never”- Bryan Adams, Summer Of ‘69

“I’ll go out, grow my hair too long, sing your least favourite songs at the top of my lungs. I’ll go out, kiss all of your friends, make a story and pretend it was me who made this end.”- The Vamps, Hair Too Long

“Getting my mind right, I’ll wait 'til the time’s right. I’m meaning to tell you why it’s hard to sleep at night. There’s nothing to fear now, girl, we should be here now. So why don’t you hear me out?”- Jeremy Zucker, Ft. blackbear, talk is overrated

“We haven’t spoke since you went away, comfortable silence is so overrated. Why won’t you ever be the first one to break? Even my phone misses your call, by the way.”- Harry Styles, From the Dining Table

“Look overhead at the stars and the ocean, foggy emotions, moments, erosion. This supernova could cause a commotion, my minds of the notion, you’ll still be my motive”- Ansel Elgort, Supernova

“I love that new dress you bought, yeah, you sure look nice. Heard you liked that new restaurant, you know, I’ve been there twice. And the way that you switch up your hair, all of the moments we’ve shared, strolling the streets back in Rome, oh, how I wish I was there. It ain’t fair.”- Ruel, Face To Face

“Welcome to your life, there’s no turning back. Even while we sleep we will find you acting on your best behaviour, turn your back on mother nature.”- Tear For Fears, Everybody Wants to Rule the World

“I’m wide awake, not losing any sleep, I picked up every piece and landed on my feet. I’m wide awake, need nothing to complete myself, no.” Katy Perry, Wide Awake

“If you don’t realize, all of the things your life can do you will be left behind, swept up by the storm of those you knew.”- Meltycanon, thankful

“I always knew that we’d be by each other’s side forever, now our time has come and I’d be satisfied if we died together. Yeah, our climate’s fucked, we might as well enjoy the weather, our time is up and I’d be satisfied if we died together.”- Samsa, Anthropocene

“There’s still so much to say, I’m faded, broken, pretending you’re on the line, wasting my time. Sinking deeper, watching you spend your night,

like I’ll be fine and I’ll be over this.”- NYK, Faded

“I’d rather go to hell, than be in purgatory, cut my hair, gag and bore me, pull this pin, let this world explode.”- My Chemical Romance, Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)

“I reached for a shooting star, it burned a hole through my hand

Made its way through my heart, had fun in the promised land.”- blink-182, Wishing Well

“Let go of your baggage, but don’t think I don’t understand it’s probably a challenge,”- Isaac Lewis, Fly

“It’s been a long night in New York city, it’s been a long night in Baton Rouge. I don’t remember you looking any better, but then again, I don’t remember you.”- John Mayer, Who Says

Prompts 101-119

who are your favorite top ten black clover characters & ships? talk about them! ~tat!

From Cindy: Hello tat! I hope you are doing well today and thank you for visiting my blog. It was really fun to write this because I got the chance to really think about the characters in depth. I’ll be honest, I’m not much of a shipper so I couldn’t come up with 10. I did my best to think of and write about as many ships and brotps as I could though.

Also, I got your other ask about BNHA as well! I have a Japanese lesson I need to prepare for this evening, but I’ll definitely get that posted tomorrow sometime!! Thanks again!!

This is very long, so I put it under a cut :)

Top Ten Black Clover Characters

Yami Sukehiro

I love everything about this guy. He’s hilarious, number one. Everything he says cracks me up and the nicknames he uses for people are gold. I like that he insults people and makes toilet jokes so casually. He comes off crass, but it’s the fact that he treats everyone equally that makes me respect him so much. He holds everyone, including himself, to the same standards. He doesn’t care about your past, wealth, appearance, gender, unconventional magic abilities or wacky personality. No matter who you are, he will call you out if you’re not acting the way you should, but will also back you up and support you when it’s needed. He’s a great leader because he treats everyone equally and is also very accepting that everyone is different.

Luck Voltia

Luck was one of the first characters I fell in love with. I don’t have a lot deep meaning behind how I feel like I do with Yami though. I just really enjoy his chaotic energy and the fact that he wants to fight people all the time. I also think his magic is super badass. His little lightning boots and gloves are so cute. I just wanna cuddle him and ruffle his hair.

Finral Roulacase

I feel so bad for Finral. This poor love starved boy doesn’t deserve the heaping amounts of anxiety he always seems to be feeling. I know he’s supposed to be the ‘perverted’ character, but compared to characters from other anime (Mineta [BNHA] Meliodas [SDS]) he’s not that bad. He tries so hard to be a gentleman by taking people on dates, complimenting them, giving them flowers, and not physically molesting them lol but they never give him a second glance. I also love his character growth so far. Watching him find self-worth beyond being just a mode of transportation, and confidence enough to stand up to his brother has been really fun to watch. I’m so proud of him and I think he’s amazing!

Zora Ideale

This guy. Haha His blunt honesty is so uncomfortable but hilarious at the same time. Like Yami, he calls people out but is somehow so much more offensive about it. I love how he just gives people unsolicited criticism and then adds injury to insult like “oh by the way, here’s a freaking stink bug in your nostril.” To be fair though, he is just as harsh on himself and will acknowledge (to himself) when he made a mistake. His backstory is also so tragic! It is seriously messed up what happened to his dad, but I love that Zora uses that trauma to try and change the word for the better by being the best magic knight he can be and also encouraging (threatening?) other magic knights to be better too. He could’ve so easily become a villain, but he didn’t and I think that’s really honorable.

Mereoleona Vermillion

Oh my god. I love this woman so much. The fact that she was supposed to be the captain of the Crimson Lions but said “nope” and then just went off by herself to live in the most dangerous places in the wild to get stronger is just phenomenal to me. I also really like that, even though she’s a royal and a member of the Vermillion family, she doesn’t just focus on her own squad. It was great when she showed up at the Black Bulls hide out and straight up kidnapped them to have them join her training. I’m just in awe of both her physical and mental strength. She was so cool when she went up against all those elves by herself. I’m not caught up with the manga, but I think I saw a spoiler about her recently and I’m very excited to find out more about it. I pretty much wish I was Mereoleona. She is my spirit animal.

Charmy Pappitson

There is a lot to adore about Charmy. First and foremost, she is an adorable badass. I love that her passion for food is something she shares with her allies and friends instead of being something that makes her greedy. I feel like Charmy is underrated because her magic is great for restoring mana, defense and offense. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t she one of the highest ranked knights in the black bulls? I also love how she gets away with a lot of shit just because she’s cute. The episodes where she straight up just hops onto the wizard king’s lap and feeds him snacks without anyone batting an eye get me every time!

Vanessa Enoteca

Sometimes I think about how Vanessa was willing to give up her own freedom just to save Asta’s arms, and how she gave up drinking for a few episodes in order to focus on a way to not only make herself stronger for upcoming battles, but the rest of her teammates as well. I like her dedication to the Black Bulls. Her thread magic is also pretty cool and I like the clever ways she’s learned to use it.

Fuegoleon Vermillion

Poor Fuegoleon is so calm and sensible compared to his siblings. I like that he’s a fair leader that makes sure to consider all angles before passing judgement on someone. He is also a dependable captain and full of great wisdom that aids in character development for important characters like Asta and Noelle. I love how he competes with his sister though, and watching them bicker in the episode where they throw a birthday party for that nun lady was silly.

Asta

How can you not like Asta? He has such a big heart and the best self-discipline out of anyone in the show. He would always rather talk things out before resorting to fighting and likes to understand the motivations behind the actions of his enemies. He is unashamed to be himself and continues to pursue his goals even when other people mock him or put him down. I also like that he is more perceptive of how people think or feel than it would seem sometimes.

Sekke Bronzazza

His personality is pretty much the worst (and I think he actually tried to kill Asta after the magic knight exam… asshole) but the way he always manages to fit “ha-ha” into his speech is so funny to me and always cracks me up. And the way everyone calls him the “ha-ha” guy is very amusing to me, especially when he tries and fails to politely correct them. I also love how he always ends up in the most random situations (in Yami’s bathroom or working for the king).

 Top Ten Black Clover Ships/BroTPs

Finral x Vanessa

I guess I just think back to that fight against the Despair guy from the Third Eye because both Finral and Venessa sort of worked together and pushed past their limits for the first time. I think Venessa is also the one that put the green in Finral’s hair, right? I don’t know. Venessa is good for Finral because he’s so insecure and she’s so supportive of other people. They’re cute together.

Yami x Charlotte

I think everyone ships this? lol Charlotte’s independence and personal strength are important to her, and the fact that Yami acknowledges and respects those traits in her makes them a great match. He also constantly encourages her to show her softer side, saying that it’s okay to lean on other people and ask for help. He could help her find balance and be comfortable in her own skin.

Asta x Mimosa

Mimosa is a much better match for Asta than Noelle because Noelle constantly needs validation and attention that she’s just never going to get from Asta. His brain just doesn’t work that way. Mimosa is content with supporting Asta with her magic as best she can, and doesn’t get jealous or competitive in the way Noelle does. Mimosa is soft and gentle which is a nice contrast to Asta’s loud and rough personality.

Yuno x Charmy

I know this is almost like a crack ship, but I can’t help but like it anyway. Like Asta, Yuno isn’t going to be the type of guy to actively pursue a relationship or be overly affectionate. This doesn’t seem to affect Charmy who seems fine with even the most minimal of interaction haha. I think it’s so cute how much she supports and roots for him when she sees him in a fight. And Yuno doesn’t seem to mind her trying to feed him and take care of him either.

Magna x Luck (brotp)

Lucky’s personality is quirky, chaotic, and frankly just difficult to understand, so I think it’s hard for people to get close to him. He comes on so strong with the pranks and desire to fight, plus he doesn’t really know how to hold back. The fact that Magna can endure all that while also seeing Luck as a person on a deeper level than just being some spazzy boy is really wholesome to me. I think it’s good for Luck to have someone who can respect him that way without asking him to change his behavior. I do not think this would work romantically though. Magna is actually pretty sensitive and emotional, and gets pretty upset when Luck is stronger or does better than him in something. It ultimately just drives Magna to work harder, but I think that sort of competition might be bad news in a romantic relationship if he’s always feeling inferior.

Yami x Jack the Ripper (brotp)

I want their friendship! I really do. The way they go from relaxed and having fun to ready to beat each other’s asses is hilarious. And there’s literally no reason for it, they’re just like unnecessarily competitive and I’m living for it. Whether they’re celebrating at a festival, about to have an important meeting with the wizard king, or in the middle of a huge fight with a major bad guy, it doesn’t matter. They will trash talk each other and probably end up brawling. I love it.

Gauche x Grey

The episodes where Gauche had to fight with Gordon and Grey were really cool because those three are probably the oddest oddballs of the Black Bulls. I don’t know if I ship them romantically or just at friends, but the development of the relationship between Gauche and Grey has been interesting and I wouldn’t mind seeing more. Also, please give Gauche something else to obsess over besides his sister lmao

Mars x Fana

I don’t have any strong feelings for them as characters individually, but I like that they fought so hard to protect each other as kids and how they continued to fight for and protect each other after being reunited.

A Piece of You: Chapter 4

Pairing: Zen x MC

Synopsis: After the death of his sister, Zen is entrusted with raising her daughter. Six years later and MC has settled into RFA, but she just wants to be back on the roof with the love of her life like she was two years before. But dealing with teenage years, dragged out engagements and a lot of unsaid feelings, you start to lose a piece of you. Or, perhaps, find a piece you had that had been missing the whole time.

Warnings: None!

Song: Things You’ve Never Done - Passenger

⇦ Previous Chapter

***

To be honest, Zen was not having a good day.

Although, he wasn’t having a particularly bad one either, it was just…a day. He aimlessly wandered through the convenience store, idly picking things off the shelves and chucking them into his basket, a gaping emptiness inside him that he couldn’t label as anything other than boredom, and he wasn’t even sure it was that. He had done this routine enough times that he didn’t even need to think about what he was buying anymore, his muscle-memory guiding him to each isle and each section.

On second thought, perhaps he really was just bored. He had the week off work and Gi was at school during the day, and to top it all off, the RFA chatroom had been dry as hell lately. Not even Saeyoung was logging in that often to start drama or blabber on about physics for half an hour. Zen was in desperate need of something, anything to do.

“Hyun, sweetie! How are you doing today?” the older lady at the counter beamed.

The creases of her face were enhanced at the sight of Zen approaching, a kind glint in her eye and a gentle spirit to her. Zen couldn’t help but return her warm smile as he lifted his basket onto the counter, “I’m well, thank you, So-yi. And yourself?”

“Same as ever,” she winked, making Zen chuckle, “How’s our little Gi? Still a little terror?”

“Oh, don’t even get me started. You know she got in trouble last week for hiding her teacher’s keys in the fish tank?”

She guffawed, and Zen chortled despite himself, “That’s a smart little girl right there. Sounds just like her daddy.”

“More like her mother, actually…” Zen’s voice trailed off, his smile faltering a little as the light behind his eyes diminished ever so slightly, but enough for the woman to detect.

So-yi had been the owner of the local convenience store since Zen had moved into the area, and from the moment she laid her eyes on the broken man, the broken child, she knew she would have to look out to for him. When he stumbled in at three in the morning requesting liquor and cigarettes, she would sneak a packet of aspirin and a sandwich into the bag as well. Then when he came in to buy diapers and baby wipes, she would slip some cookies in. Little by little, she started to see some colour in his cheeks and a honesty in his smile as he wished her a good day. She was the only person in his life who knew him when he was Hyun, and stayed to witness him become Zen. She was the closest thing to a mother that he had, and he the closest thing she had to a son. It was perfect timing, for the both of them.

So-yi promptly changed the subject, “Have you seen this?” she said, handing him a flyer from the stack that stood proudly next to her. It appeared to be advertising some jazz band playing at a nearby bar, for one night only. “I’ve seen them before, real good music, I’ll tell ya. Came in last week asking if I’d be willing to sell some tickets here, and you know I’m a sucker for jazz. They’re playing tomorrow night, I think you’d enjoy it.”

Zen considered it for a moment. Gi was going to be with Jaehee tomorrow night - by her request - so he’d just be home alone anyway. And maybe…if he asked…

“Sure, sounds like a fun evening,” he looked down to his feet, his shoelaces suddenly very intriguing to him, “Can I get two, please?”

So-yi’s smirk widened, and she didn’t even bother to hide it, “Planning to take someone special?”

He returned the grin in amusement, “Calm down, So-yi. It’s not like that.”

She handed Zen the tickets along with his bag, shooting him a mischievous look, “Mmhmm, okay then. Well, I can’t wait to hear all about it.”

Zen rolled his eyes playfully, “There’ll be nothing to hear about. She’s just a good friend,” he called over his shoulder, waving her goodbye as he left the store. Her smile grew wider.

Oh to be young, So-yi thought to herself. Oh to be so naive.

***

Zen pulled up to the school just as kids in tutus started to filter out the doors, darting towards open arms and stumbling into their parent’s embrace. He smiled fondly, getting out of the car and making his way to find his own little monster.

“Daddy!”

Zen didn’t even have time to turn around when Gi threw herself at him, almost toppling him over, though he managed to save himself with an outstretched arm before he smacked against the concrete. He clutched his chest in feign defeat, crying out dramatically as Gi clambered off, “Oh, the beast has slain me. I will never recover, I am mortally wounded!”

“Dad, stop, you’re not at work right now,’ she tutted, crossing her arms, “Such a drama queen.”

“You’re no fun,” he teased, and she stuck out her tongue in response. “How was ballet?” he asked, grabbing her hand as he started to lead her back to the car, only to be stopped by a tap on his shoulder.

“Excuse me, are you Gi’s guardian?”

Zen’s mouth twitched as he swivelled around, carefully watching Gi in the corner of his eye. She seemed unfazed. Good. “I’m Gi’s father, yes. Is there something I can help you with?”

“Oh yes, of course. My mistake,” she said flatly and turned to the young girl, “Gi, why don’t you go and play whilst I have a quick chat with your dad? It’ll only take a moment.”

Gi looked to Zen and he gave her a subtle nod, an indication for her to go. She ran off excitedly, and Zen started to feel a tad defensive about the situation, “So, what did you need to talk to me about?”

They sat down on a nearby bench in the playground, the teacher crossing her legs and her chin stuck out. She eyed him, almost scrutinisingly as she began to talk, “I wanted to talk to you regarding some…concerns I have about Gi’s progress and behaviour.”

“Right,” Zen began, attempting to keep his expression neutral, “What are these concerns exactly?”

“Well, whilst we always value enthusiasm and freedom of expression, her energy could be considered as, how should I phrase this…uncivilised at times. Of course, we want to encourage our students to embrace their passions, and we want her to continue to dance.

He clenched his jaw and counted to ten, trying with all his might to stay calm. It wasn’t working, “Okay. With all do respect, if you feel that her dancing is, as you say, ‘uncivilised’, then isn’t your job to teach her the ‘correct’ way of ballet?”

If she was caught off-guard by Zen’s bluntness, then she did a brilliant job of hiding it, “There’s only so much we can teach her, Mr Ryu. And any how, we believe that the problems are rooted further than just her lessons.”

“I want to know exactly what you mean by that.”

“Ballet is about grace and precision, there is a femininity to it, whereas Gi currently demonstrates a rather wild and boisterous approach. Gi is at an age where her behaviour is heavily effected by her environment, and therefore we feel that this behaviour may have something to do with her slightly wilder upbringing and life at home-“

Zen had stood up now, fists clenched and breaths staggered, “This is ridiculous, Gi is six years old. If she enjoys to dance, then for Christ’s sake just let her dance her way. This isn’t the Royal Ballet. She is a child.”

“A child with incredible potential, Mr Ryu,” she explained evenly, which did nothing to calm Zen’s vexation, “I wouldn’t have said anything if I didn’t think it mattered. Gi is not like any student I’ve taught before. She has an immense athleticism, and with some discipline, I have faith that she will go far with her ballet. She is capable of great things.”

“I’ve heard enough, you lost me when you brought her home-life into this. You have no right to make comments on her ‘wild’ upbringing. Does she have a typical upbringing? No. Because guess what, it’s pretty damn hard to achieve ‘normal’ when her mother is dead and her biological father is nowhere to be found. Mind your own damn business,” he spat, already walking towards Gi, picking her up and storming to the car.

The drive was eerily quiet, only the sound of Zen’s heavy breaths could be heard as Gi silently watched out the window, blissfully unaware of the event from just before. Zen’s hands were gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were white, and his teeth were gnawing on his bottom lip in an attempt to prevent himself from shouting his anger at the top of his lungs. He was absolutely fuming.

It had gone from ‘just a day’ to a bad day real quick. He needed to calm down.

He needed to call her.

***

The coffee shop was bustling when MC joined Zen, relief instantly washing over him as he caught a glimpse of her through the glass door. They ordered their drinks, and they settled down at a little table in the corner, Zen’s hands still shaking slightly as he placed his cup down.

For the first few minutes, MC remained quiet. She knew by now that when Zen needed to talk, he really needed to think. So she sipped on her coffee whilst she patiently waited for him to gather his thoughts, and prepared herself to give him her undivided attention. He needed to be heard, so she needed to listen.

As soon as he opened his mouth, the words came tumbling out in an exasperated mess. MC was pretty experienced with Zen’s emotions at this point, but today she could tell that something had really hit a nerve with him. He was passionate with his explanation, but MC also clocked a despair in his voice, an ache in his eyes. Zen wasn’t just angry, he was hurt.

“She just…like what does that have to do with anything? Who has a meeting about a student’s home-life when the child seems perfectly happy at school?” he asked defeatedly, his fingers fiddling with the handle of his cup, “Why can’t they just let her do ballet her way if that’s what she wants.”

MC nodded along, reviewing the situation as she took another sip of her drink, “Well, is it what she wants?” Zen eyed her curiously, so she continued, “You said that the problem was that she is incapable of being elegant and graceful when dancing, but is she incapable or is she unwilling?”

Zen looked down into his now empty cup as he considered MC’s words. He had sat in on many of Gi’s classes, and whilst she always seemed satisfied after class ended, she seemed…frustrated during it. Zen always thought it was because she couldn’t get the moves right, but now he wondered if there was something else at play, “I guess she does always appear discouraged during her lessons, like she’s being held back. But she adores dance, it’s all she talks about. She always says that she likes to move with the music, but ballet just seems too restricting. She’s tried other kinds of dance but she likes how ‘pretty’ ballet is…”

“Has she ever considered figure skating?”

Zen quirked an eyebrow. MC chuckled, “Figure skating. She’ll get to use her power and athleticism so she won’t feel held back, but then she can still incorporate the elegance and ‘prettiness’ of ballet. There’s an ice rink that just opened nearby, you should let her give it a go.”

“I don’t know…I don’t know if it’s best to just stop it all together.” MC gave him a glare. “I just don’t want her to end up like her teacher, MC. She’s so..odd!”

MC placed down her cup and leaned forward on the table, waiting for Zen to focus on her, “Zen, I think it was odd that she brought that up as well, but don’t you think she did it because  she was desperate? Because she knew that Gi was special? Can you not at least let her try it? You never know, she might surprise you.”

Zen sighed, recognising that MC was right. She very well might be a natural, and even if she wasn’t, as least she tried. “Okay, I’ll bring it up with her. Thank you, MC.”

MC merely smiled and dipped her head, clearly not understanding how loaded that ‘thank you’ was.

They continued to chat casually for a while, when Zen quickly had a realisation, “Oh! I meant to ask you, are you free tomorrow night?”

MC’s face dropped a little, a response that was small enough to go unnoticed anyone, but not small enough to go unnoticed by Zen, “I’m sorry, I have plans with Chul tomorrow night.”

Of course, how could he forget? Obviously he couldn’t just assume that she would available any night of the week anymore. She was in a relationship. She was busy.

The dull ache he felt in his chest surprised him, a disappointment that he couldn’t have anticipated. This was the first time that she had other plans, that she didn’t have time for him. Had he taken her company for granted? Had he taken her for granted? Was this, after all they had, the beginning of the end?

But, the end of what, exactly?

“Ah, no worries,” Zen replied easily, his acting skills being put to good use, “It was nothing, just wanted to hang out. How are things going with Chul anyway?”

“Good,” she responded, a smile playing on her lips and her eyes regaining a bit of their usual glimmer, “Really good.”

“I’m glad,” he said and felt a pang of guilt, because Zen didn’t like to lie, and he certainly didn’t like to lie to MC. But he was going to have to get used to it.

The following evening Zen went back to the convenience store, his best shirt on and the two tickets in hand. So-yi watched him curiously, a melancholic expression on her face. Zen walked up to the counter, “Would you like to come with me?”

She smiled sympathetically at him as she mentally connected the dots, “Of course, sweetie. I get off my shift in five minutes. I’ll meet you outside.”

And so they strolled to the bar together, So-yi holding onto Zen’s arm as they laughed and sang through the street. Not many men his age wanted to spend their Friday night with a little old lady like her, but Zen wasn’t most men, which made So-yi’s heart ache a little more for him. He deserved the world.

She didn’t ask about the girl, because she knew that, even if he hadn’t realised it yet, she was someone special, and she had said no.

She’ll come around, So-yi thought.

They always do in the end.

***

“Saeran, come look at this.”

Saeran strolled over to the couch, milkshake in one hand and a soda in the other. Chucking the can to Saeyoung he sat next to him to get a good view of the laptop that was balanced on his twin’s knees, examining the screen as his eyebrows furrowed, “What is this?”

“I-uh…may have done a background check on Chul.”

Saeran sighed, giving his brother a pointed look, “You know MC told you not to. She’s gonna kill you.”

“I know. I know I wasn’t meant to but I just wanted to be sure and-“

“Wait, is this a criminal record?”

Saeran studied the document, taking in every detail, and his heart dropped when a certain set of words caught his eye.

REASON FOR ARREST: Assault

“It says in his notes that he got into a fight at a bar,” Saeyoung added gently, cautious of Saeran’s reaction, “In his statement he said that it was self-defence-“

“They’re together right now, correct?” Saeran said smoothly.

“Um, yeah. MC said they were going ice-skating, but why do you-“

“I’m going out. I’ll be back in an hour.”

“Saeran, you can’t just go and interrogate or beat up the guy. We don’t even know what happened.”

“I’m not going to, I just need to see for myself that he’s okay for MC.”

Saeran didn’t wait for Saeyoung’s reply, instead he just put his hood over his head and marched out the door, missing the look of pure defeat on his brother’s face.

It took him less than half the time it usually took to reach his destination, but as soon as Saeran walked through the automatic doors of the ice-rink, he started his search.

They weren’t in the lobby, and they weren’t in the cafe, so they must still be on the ice. He managed to sneak his way onto the rink without going to the front desk, because of course he could. Saeran had no idea how much longer MC and Chul were going to be there, and he definitely didn’t want them to catch him in the foyer. So, sneaking in it was.

Which, though he would never admit, he found more fun anyway.

After only a few seconds of glancing over the other skaters, his eyes landed on the couple. He was moments away from marching over to them to have a little chat with Chul, but was halted by one thing.

MC’s face.

Saeran had never seen her face so bright, so glowing. Not even when she bought her new apartment, not even on her birthday. Not even when she was with Zen.

Her smile met her eyes, free of restraint and absolutely beaming. And Chul looked the same way, but he was completely enraptured by her, as if he was hanging on to her every word like she was a lifeline to him. They looked happy. They looked in love.

And nobody, especially not Saeran, would ever make that look on MC’s face disappear when it was as rare as rubies. Who was he to judge a man based on his past, anyway? Saeran didn’t know Chul’s story, nor did he know the Chul in front of him particularly well, but he would give him a chance, just like MC had given Saeran a chance.

He’d tell Saeyoung not to worry, but to keep a watchful eye. Because yes, Chul gave MC a spark that had nearly died out, but when there is a spark sometimes it’s hard to see the smoke; and when there’s smoke, there’s fire.

***

Masterlist || Next Chapter

Dahlia: Pope Heyward

Pope x Original Character

MASTERLIST

word count: 3.6k

summary: Dahlia is the daughter of OBX’s most respected florist so when Pope takes an interest in this timid, but beautiful, girl it seems like a match made in heaven.

a/n: not edited yet but love the concept of a soft girl and Pope. also, although this is an original character, I did want to leave some space for you to imagine to girl's race, ethnic origin, etc. so i only described her as having brown hair and eyes! hope that is ok! enjoy!!

~

He made it his mission to pass the shop everyday in hopes to see her. Every time he went, he did. She stood sometimes behind the register or in the front, rearranging different arrays of flowers, but something that never changed was her smile. She seemed to really enjoy what she did and Pope respected her for that. It was hard for him to find something he enjoyed doing all the time. For him, it had been reading and it was interesting to see a girl who didn’t like surfing like everyone else. She was also beautiful beyond belief. She had a singular streak of purple hair clashing with her brown hair. She had the eyes to match. Her eyes twinkled as the sun reflected off the hazel orbs. Her face was a circle, her chubby cheeks adding to how adorable she was. She didn’t dress like most girls in OBX either. She wore ripped jeans and cardigans, or summer dresses. She seemed to be an entire different aesthetic than anyone he had ever met. He was so intrigued by this girl he had never met.

The first time Pope had ever seen her was through the window of a shop. He had been with JJ, walking down some street near Figure 8 when his eyes met hers. Pope figured she was about the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, watching as his heart sped up. She was inside a store, rearranging a display of flowers and unlike Pope, she quickly looked away. She was a timid girl and instantly dismissed their gaze as a coincidence. Although she looked away, Pope couldn’t. He was drawn to her and if it wasn’t for John B’s nagging about how late they were going to be, Pope would’ve found the courage to enter the shop and speak to her.

He figured out her name a week after he first saw her. He didn’t want anyone to know about his crush and he figured JJ was the best person to ask since JJ knew much more than he did about women. Unfortunately, Pope had doubted JJ’s ability to be oblivious because the second Pope asked if the town’s florist had a daughter, JJ was asking him a million nosy questions. Soon, Pope had to answer them all if he wanted JJ to keep a secret. By the end, JJ was the first one to know Pope had a crush on the florist’s daughter, Dahlia. After JJ’s initial teasing, Pope had pleaded with him to say next to nothing about his newfound feelings. The last thing Pope wanted was anyone finding out he had a weak spot and, not to mention, he knew the teasing from his other friends would be significant. JJ promised and Pope thought that would be the end of it. He was wrong.

Two weeks later, Kiara had proposed an idea for her friends to pass time. They had been sitting around all day and were constantly bugging her about how bored they were so she decided to put them to some use. Her mother’s birthday was tomorrow and she thought a bouquet of flowers would be a perfect gift. She enlisted her friends' help to go down to Figure 8’s florist shop. Everyone but Pope liked the idea.

“I can’t,” Pope stumbled to his feet, thinking of an excuse. “I have something to do.” The last thing Pope wanted was to enter the florist shop and watch as his friends teased him.

Kiara watched her friend nervously move to the other side of the room. He only moved away from them when he was hiding something. Pope had been on edge or daydreaming for a couple of weeks now but Kiara had never been too concerned until now. “Pope? Is something wrong?”

John B looked to his friend now, growing a little worried as well. “Dude, what’s up?”

Pope shook his head, trying to act nonchalant but failing miserably. His friends could see right through this facade and he knew it. “Nothing, I just don’t wanna go to some dumb flower shop.”

Kiara wasn’t buying it and, in an effort to get the truth, she looked to her friend JJ who had yet to say anything. “JJ, do you know why he’s acting like this?”

Pope’s eyes widened, watching as his friend who he knew was terrible at keeping secrets continued to say nothing. “JJ, don’t.”

Pope knew JJ better than he knew himself. One of the things he knew was that JJ couldn’t lie to his friends. Ever. Not even white lies. He cared too much about honesty and although Pope was worried he would blab to Kiara and John B, Pope never thought they would actually ask. Now that Kiara had, Pope knew JJ would not be able to handle one secret. Yes, JJ was a wild teen who constantly broke the law but he would never betray his friends' trust.

JJ finally shook his head, his eyes on Pope. He almost felt relieved. For a moment, he actually believed his friend might keep one secret. Unfortunately, only seconds later, when Kiara spoke, JJ caved.

John B stood up from his seat now, more interested than before. “Don’t what?”

Kiara sat beside JJ, placing a hand on his shoulder. “JJ, you can tell me.”

Kiara nodded, placing a hand on his cheek and forcing him to look at her. “Tell me.”

Pope knew that he was done for. This secret JJ had was eating away at him and Pope knew it would only be a matter of time before he broke. Watching JJ, Pope knew he would break soon and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

“Pope likes the florist’s daughter!” JJ finally screamed out, earning a groan from Pope’s lips.

All eyes are on Pope now and he knows it. He doesn’t even have to look at his friends to know that their mouths are hung open and their eyes are wide. When he finally gets enough courage to look at them, he isn’t surprised to see that he’s right. The only thing he is surprised at is that none of his friends have started making fun of him yet. He had suspected almost immediately that the teasing would ensue but no one had made any joke at his expense. When a lot of time passes with no one speaking, Pope finally does.

“JJ’s right.” He knows he can’t deny something so obvious.

Kiara nods, meeting Pope’s stare. “I think I knew.”

Pope is caught off guard by what Kiara said. “What? How?”

John B stands beside Pope and pats him on the back. “Whenever we’d pass her shop, you’d watch her like a maniac.”

JJ finally smiles, a weight being lifted from his chest now that he’s not keeping any secrets. “Wow. I guess you’re not as sneaky as you thought, Pope.”

Kiara laughs. “Ha! I saw that too I kinda figured you had something for that girl.”

Pope frowns, a little upset his friends were not a little more surprised. “You gotta be kidding me?”

Pope frowns at JJ, his disappointment evident. “I am. Not my fault you guys were smarter than I thought.”

Kiara scoffed, getting up from her seat beside JJ and making her way over to Pope. When she is close enough, she lightly punches Pope on the shoulder. “For that comment, I’m gonna make you order the flowers for me.”

Pope shook his head, indignant. “No way.” He’s rubbing his shoulder from Kiara’s punch, surprised she was so strong. Pope gets to his feet and follows Kiara, who is making her way to the door.

Kiara giggled, nodding her head. “Yes you are. Or do you want to tell my mom herself that you didn’t want to buy her a birthday gift?”

Pope frowned, his heart beating faster than usual. “I’m not going to be guilted into talking to her.”

Kiara’s hand is on the door knob before she speaks. “I’m not guilting you. I’m forcing you.” There’s a sly smirk plastered on her lips and Pope knows she is serious. 

His shoulders slump in defeat. He knows there is no way he is getting out of this. “Fine. But you’re doing all the talking.”

It’s completely obvious that Pope has no idea what he has agreed to. In some ways, disappointing Kiara's mother would have been easier. Pope is not exactly sure what to expect. Kiara has made it Almost an hour without making fun of him once about his crush. He has a small inclination that maybe she will be embarrassing him in front of Dahlia but he knows she is not that cruel. Kiara decides to drive instead of walking. Pope is the better driver but she knows how stressed out he is and decides against asking him. As they slowly make their way to the florist shop,  Kiara can tell Pope is on edge the entire drive. She almost wants to feel bad for him since she was the one that made him tag along in the beginning, but she also knows he has to face his fears. He can't go around being scared of every girl he has a crush on because then he will never have a girlfriend. Kiara tries to rationalize her decision by saying she is doing Pope a favour. 

Pope on the other hand, feels the exact opposite. If Kiara had told him how she was feeling, he could probably understand her logic and where she is coming from. At the same time, she underestimates Pope’s abilities. Pope is not always as confident as he looks and talking to a girl he's had a crush on for a while now, is not exactly a confidence booster. Although he tries to appreciate the lesson Kiara is trying to teach him, he rather not learn it at all. 

When they finally reach the florist shop, Pope can feel his legs go numb. Kiara is already out of the car by the time he unbuckles his seatbelt. She realizes this almost immediately and, with a sigh, she opens his door. Pope is clasping onto his buckle and is trying to take in deep breaths to steady his heartbeat. Granted, he has never felt confident talking to girls but he doesn't understand why he is so nervous. Kiara feels the same as she watches her best friend have a panic attack in the passenger side of her car.

Kiara shrugs. Moving out of the way so her friend can fully exit the car. They say nothing to each other as they approach the shop, both too concerned to speak. Kiara is concerned for her friend’s health, thinking Pope might faint on the spot, while Pope is too concerned with evening out his breath.

“Pope…” Kiara sighs, placing a hand on his shoulder. She is now more worried about him than she initially was. “You don’t have to go in. You can just wait outside.” She genuinely feels bad for putting her friend through so much stress.

Pope nods, swallowing harshly before speaking. “I think that’s for the best.” 

Once they arrive in front of the shop, Kiara stops and turns to Pope. “I’ll just pick out an arrangement and then come back.” She only continues speaking once Pope acknowledges her. “Listen, Pope, I’m sorry. I didn’t know -”

“It’s fine.” Pope cuts Kiara off, forcing a smile to show his friend that he’s okay. 

Although not entirely convinced, Kiara nods and turns abruptly on her heels and enters the shop without a word. She makes a dash to the register where the owner is. She isn’t exactly sure what bouquet to get but she trusts the owners taste and will buy anything he recommends. She also acts as if she’s in a rush because she doesn’t want to leave Pope outside for too long without supervision. Funny enough it’s usually the other way around.

Pope’s only been alone for two minutes when he finally feels his breath finally start to even out. He focuses on the arrangements on display outside and it calms him. The flowers are all so beautifully made and he instantly forgets why he was so anxious before. Pope pays close attention to one bouquet and, upon further inspection, realizes it’s an arrangement of Dahlia’s. It’s a colourful arrangement, each flower a different height to add depth, and Pope can tell whoever designed this has an artistic eye. His heart beat instantly slows and he smiles to himself for the first time all day. Of course, it doesn’t take a genius to guess who he is talking about and, within seconds, Pope has gone from anxious to relaxed. As he imagines what her cheek feels against his hand, he is obviously distracted. With his guard down, observing the Dahlia’s, someone approaches him without him realizing it.

“Beautiful, aren’t they?”

Pope instantly jumps, spinning around to see who has spoken. He knows it’s not Kiara. This voice is a little more quiet and soft, rather than Kiara’s confident voice.When Pope turns around, he is sure he will faint. In front of him, stands the girl he was scared to run into. Dahlia. 

“U-um…” Pope stutters, taking a step away from the beautiful girl.

She’s absolutely radiant today and Pope is embarrassed because he hasn’t showered in two days. She is wearing a white tennis skirt that stops at her mid-thigh and a pink tank top that is tucked into the skirt. She is wearing flip flops, which tells Pope she doesn’t actually play tennis like he initially thought. Her hair is pulled back into a ponytail and Pope notices that she is wearing cute watermelon earrings. He wants to reach out and touch her earrings but he refrains from doing so, knowing it will creep her out.

When Pope doesn’t answer right away, he notices her begin to get uneasy and she fills the silence by speaking again. “Are you looking for an arrangement for someone?”

Pope shakes his head, not being able to speak. Her voice is so pretty. Although soft, it is also filled with the type of concern Pope knows to be genuine. Everything about her is genuine and Pope can’t help but fall even harder. He starts to see her concern when he doesn’t speak again and to save himself from embarrassment, he clears his throat and tries to speak as normally as possible.

“I-I’m Pope.” He says, stuttering for a moment before clearly saying his name. Sometimes when he mumbles people hear the name Hope instead of Pope and he would be so embarrassed if she misheard him now.

Dahlia’s smile widens and her shoulders shake a little. Pope can tell she is trying to hold in a giggle. Although he knows this, he is not hurt. He can tell she is not laughing at him, but at something he said.

“I know. I go to your school. We have algebra together.” Her smile softens again and this time Pope smiles.

Pope nods, completely forgetting they shared a class last year. “Ah, yes.” His hands are shaking so badly he has to clasp them together so she doesn’t notice. “Ms. Terry, right?”

Dahlia nods, glancing past him to look at the flowers before looking back at him. “So, are you getting a gift for someone?”

Pope turns her head for a moment to glance at the bouquet on display that he was previously looking at. He looks back to Dahlia and shakes his head. “I’m not but my friend Kiara is. For her mom’s birthday.”

Dahlia nods, listening with genuine interest at what Pope had to say. “That’s so sweet.” She had always found him incredibly cute but, being shy, never had the guts to talk to him. Today, when she saw him looking at the bouquet outside, something came over her and she approached him without thinking twice. 

Thankfully, she didn’t regret it. “You know, I can give you a free flower.”

Pope’s eyes widened and he looked away from Dahlia for a moment. He watched as Kiara paid for her bouquet at the register. He knew she would be outside any moment and Pope had only so many seconds before he had to leave. Finally, he looked back to Dahlia. “What would I do with it?”

Dahlia shrugged, walking past Pope and picking one of the dahlias from the bouquet. She turned back around to Pope before answering. “Kinda like a trial run. Give it to someone you like and if they like it, then you can bring them a bouquet full of them.”

Pope’s hands stopped shaking for a moment, a small smile etched on his lips. “That sounds like a great idea.”

Dahlia nodded, reaching her hand out with the flower and giving it to Pope. “They’re my favourite.”

Pope gladly takes the flower and for a moment, just holds it in his hands. He has an idea but at first he’s too embarrassed to go through with it. He glances down at the flower in his hands, noticing the vibrant colours, before looking back at Dahlia. She’s smiling sweetly at him and suddenly he has a surge of confidence. She is the sweetest person he has ever met and he truly believes she would never hurt him. Without overthinking it, he extends his hand out again and tries to give the flower back to Dahlia.

At first she is confused and Pope’s heart drops when he sees her brows knit together in confusion. “You don’t want it?”

Pope’s eyes widen at her words and he instantly shakes his head. “I want to give it to you.”

Dahlia feels her face heat up. Her lips form a huge grin and her heart skips a beat. She knows for sure now that Pope is the sweetest boy she has ever met. Grateful, she takes the flower back and nervously fidgets with the stem, unsure of what to say. Someone has just been so genuinely kind to her, she can’t believe it herself.

When Dahlia can’t speak, Pope does instead. “I hope you don’t feel uncomfortable.”

Dahlia shakes her head quickly, a smile still on her lips. “No, of course not. Thank you.” Pope nods to her but remains silent. For a second, they’re just smiling at eachother, both of their heart rates matching speeds. Finally, Dahlia decides to speak. “Would you like to go out some time?”

Pope’s mouth goes dry and he tries to control himself from nodding too quickly.”S-sure.”

Dahlia nods back at him, her hands shaking slightly. She is so nervous, considering she hasn’t asked out many boys. Especially boys as sweet as Pope. “Cool. Well,” she starts, pulling her phone out of the pocket on her skirt and handing it to Pope. “Just put your number in my phone and I’ll text you.”

Pope takes the phone eagerly and quickly types in his number before handing it back to Dahlia. He’s so nervous about this entire conversation but he’s also so happy. He’s liked this girl since what feels like the beginning of time and finally she seems to like him back.

“Thanks.” Dahlia says, placing the phone back in her pocket. She shifts her weight between both of her feet before finally speaking again. “Well, my dad is gonna complain if he sees me not working so I’ll see you later.”

Pope nods eagerly, not being able to hide his happiness anymore. “Sure, see you later.”

“Pope, you okay?”

Dahlia giggles at his eagerness and waves goodbye before turning away from Pope and entering the store. When she is finally gone for sure, Pope lets out a sigh. He hasn’t realized he was holding his breath but now that he has, he finally allows himself to breathe. He truly can’t believe that happened. Of course, he didn’t act as nonchalant as he would’ve liked but she asked him out. She wants to see him again and that was better than before where they rarely spoke.

Pope is in such a daze that when Kiara exits, completely unaware of what just happened, she grows concerned. Pope has a ridiculous smile on his face and he seems to be breathing heavily. She approaches him slowly, trying not to scare him, and when he doesn’t even acknowledge that she is beside him, she speaks.

Pope instantly snaps out of his daydream, looking at Kiara. The same smile is still on his face but his breathing is not as laboured. Slowly, he nods. “Fine. I’m fine.”

Although Kiara is not completely convinced, she doesn’t let herself question him any further. Once they get back to John B’s place, she’ll dive further into Pope’s mind. For now, she tells him to get back in the car because she got the flowers she was looking for.

As Kiara drives, Pope is silent the entire time. This time, his silence is not one because he is anxious but because he is beyond happy. Kiara seems to notice the difference because she stops asking if he is okay and instead turns the volume on the radio up. As Pope and Kiara listen to the music, Pope feels a buzz on his pocket and his heart skips a beat. He puts his hand in his pocket and fishes for his phone for a few seconds before pulling it out. There’s a text for him from an unknown number. When he reads the message, he instantly knows who it is and the smile on his face widens.

dahlia’s are my favourite so thank you <3

Pope wonders what he should text back and for a few moments he types nothing. Then, he thinks of the perfect response.

they’re mine too

Pope knows that she can tell he is not talking about the flower but they don’t acknowledge it. Pope is finding out that although he loves the flower dahlia, he likes the girl with the same name more.

~

taglist: @dolanfivsosxox @obxrush @bellakellyrose03 @belledutchess @sexualparkour @lueurglow @itsriasblog @maries110911 @ebonyyyy-e @teamnick @tangledinsparkles @sarahsmaybank @91912512 @shawnssongs @ssjiara @amarachoren @haute-shawn @blog-hannahnicole @xlittlemissydjx​ and @girlsru1eboysdroo1​ bc she’s the best writer ever and I really want to know her opinion <3

FIC: Not What It’s Cracked Up To Be ch.3 (baon)

Summary: Edge and Stretch are finally getting back on an even keel. Edge’s broken leg is healing well, Spring is finally here and the flowers are close to blooming.

Be a shame if anything disturbed their domestic bliss.

Tags:  Spicyhoney, Kustard, Established Relationships, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Fluff, Chickens, Possible Character Death

Notes: Okay, before you read this, I'd like to remind everyone that this is By Any Other Name, and no matter what angst happens, there will always be happy endings.So, keep telling yourself, happy endings are coming, happy endings are coming, and you'll be fine! Things are not always what they seem!

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |

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Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

Though they’d only been married a year, he and Stretch had been together long enough that Edge knew many of his quirks. He knew that Stretch could nap anywhere and everywhere and often did. He knew that one of his favorite treats was lemon bars and he wasn’t fussy about where they came from. He knew that Stretch could be scatterbrained and also single-mindedly focused, sometimes in the very same moment. And he knew that the correct reply from Stretch to the question of what was wrong was never ‘nothing’.

A pun, certainly, a joke, perhaps, even on rare occasions honesty. 'Nothing' was a charade, a lie, offered flippantly to disguise the truth.

More to the point, Edge knew that there was no point in pressing for a better answer. That would only make Stretch double down and he’d be even less likely to admit to what was bothering him. It was a difficult lesson and one he’d learned from his own brother, long before they’d ever left Underfell. Demanding answers achieved nothing and all he could do was wait.

And so, when Stretch stood to head inside for his nap, Edge returned the kiss he leaned down to offer and let him go. Kept his sighs and his worries to himself as he struggled up to his feet, grimacing at the renewed ache in his tibia.

For now, the plan was to take a quick shower before he put his leg up and iced it to keep the cartilage from swelling. There was no question that the doctor’s orders of a limit of two hours standing was accurate; he hadn’t even been standing the entire time, but moving from garden plot to garden plot seemed to be enough exercise for the day. After some rest, the only plan he had left was to make dinner.

Slow and steady seemed to be the theme for the day. For his leg, for Stretch.

Edge gathered up the dirty plates and tried not to think about the travesties that had been visited upon them as he shooed the chickens back into the coop. If Stretch still wasn’t inclined to talk this evening, perhaps tomorrow he’d message Jeff and ask if he’d noticed anything off about Stretch while they were talking. With everything happening lately, it wouldn’t be a surprise if Stretch were heading towards a major depressive episode; in fact, Edge would admit that it must be a sign that his medication and therapy were working for him that he hadn’t had one already.

His shower was brief, but blissful and Edge basked in the spray of hot water until his leg began a new set of throbbing warnings. Then he went back downstairs, propping it into the pile of pillows that were becoming a fixture in their living room, along with the ice packs.

It was strange, now, to think that if someone with no one to care for them took an injury like this in Underfell, it would most likely be a death sentence. Even with Sans—Red to care for him, Edge likely would have been on his feet far sooner than would be considered wise, walking his disability to permanence. There were no clean, friendly hospitals, no doctors with their years of experience and training, as Stretch liked to say. No special splints or even casts. The only thing driving him to walking too soon in this world was his own impatience. He needed to be on his feet, yes, but he needed to be able to stay on his feet, not sabotage his own healing driving himself too hard.

Intellectually, he knew that, but knowing didn’t have much effect on the gnawing exasperation in his soul, urging him to get back to work, to protect his people from the threats he knew were still out there.

Soon, he told himself. In two days’ time he’d be back working fulltime at the Embassy and wasn’t he looking forward to rolling through the hallways on the mobility scooter the doctor was sending to him. Perhaps that sight would help cheer Stretch. Two days wasn’t very long to figure out what was bothering his husband, especially considering all that had happened, but Edge was nothing if not dedicated to Stretch’s happiness.

That task only seemed more monumental when Stretch came downstairs. He only stayed upstairs for perhaps an hour and did not seem rested when he came back down, shadows darkened beneath his sockets. He was quiet for most of the night, except for infrequent bursts of chatter, all of it puns and teasing, his smile a touch too wide, his cheer bordering on desperate. Trying too hard, Edge knew, and his soul ached.

That night, Edge went to bed early and Stretch didn’t question his excuse that he was tired after such an eventful day. The claim was doubly useful in that Stretch didn’t attempt anything seductive once they were in bed together. Knowing him, he’d try to instigate sex to prove to himself that he was fine, and even if it was pleasurable, that did not sit well with Edge. He preferred their lovemaking with wholehearted enthusiasm and affection, not as an attempt to prove a point.

Instead, Stretch curled up in his arms, resting his skull over Edge’s breastbone, petting his scarred ribs softly, almost absently.

He wondered if Stretch wished he could see his soul, feel its warmth, the undeniable aura of his love. Stretch didn’t ask, he’d never asked, and Edge could only swallow away the thickness of guilt settling sourly in his mouth that even now he couldn’t bring himself to offer.

Instead, he gently stroked Stretch’s skull, tracing his coronal sutures, his zygomatic arch. Trailed gloved fingertips down to linger over the intricacies of his spine until he fell asleep and perhaps Edge’s obfuscation wasn’t complete untrue, because he drifted off not long after Stretch.

It was hours later that he woke, jerking awake as Stretch lurched out of his arms and the bed to scramble over to the window. Edge was already lunging out of bed himself, disoriented and sleep bleary but his magic flaring as he looked for their attackers. There were none, they were alone in their darkened bedroom with the whirr of the running fan.

“What—” Edge began, only for Stretch to disappear into a shortcut. He cursed viciously and ran for the stairs, grimacing as his leg protested, but he could already hear shouts from outside, alongside shrill, panicked shrieks. He limped awkwardly down, trying not to fall down the damn things and briefly grateful he’d been instructed to wear the splint night and day.

He tore open the sliding glass door to see the night alive with magic attacks blooming in orange and blue. For a jarring moment it was like being back in Underfell and he held back in the doorway, scanning the area for assailants, strategy boiling up in his thoughts.

The attacks faded before Edge could even determine what the hell was going on. The yard was empty, the only sound came from the coop and the panicked gabbling of chickens, and Stretch was on his knees in the middle of the yard, utterly bare, his pale bones almost glowing in the moonlight and his shoulders shaking.

Edge went to him, scanning around for anyone, anything, but there was nothing, only leftover attacks formed into magical bones shivering away to nothingness. He knelt awkwardly next to Stretch even as he stripped away his gloves, cautious hands skimming over him, searching for injury as he automatically ran a Check. But his tentative fingers didn’t find so much as a scrape and Stretch's HP was standing steady at five even as he started shivering in the chilly night air.

Edge stripped off his pajama shirt and hung it over Stretch’s shoulders, it was thin but better than nakedness. “What happened?” he demanded in a furious whisper, “who was here?”

“i think it was a fox, maybe,” Stretch whispered. It was not the response Edge expected and he reared back, taking in the tears that were filling Stretch’s sockets, glowing pale orange through the night. “i think it…it…”

He lifted his hands and clutched in his fist was a single glossy black feather.

Fuck.

“Stay here,” Edge told him, low. He struggled to his feet and went to investigate the coop.

Noodle and Dumpling were still screeching their upset and the moment the door swung open, they crowded around him, seeking protection or comfort or both. He crouched down and carefully petted them both, soothing them until they settled somewhat. There was no sign of Nugget, nor any remains. He forced himself to think it, did not allow himself the luxury of hope. Grief would have to wait.

There was no evidence in the chicken run, no feathers nor paw prints. He walked the fence line and there he found it. The soil around the coop was soft, muddied by the spring thaw, and there was a hole dug beneath the fence. That was where it must have gotten in and once it was inside the chicken run, it could easily access the coop through the same door the chickens used. The hungry bastard came in the night and—

Edge brutally shook that thought away and went back to the coop, locking both entrances. Then he went back out to Stretch, easing down to sit next to him and pulled him into his arms. Softly, he asked, “How did you know?”

Stretch leaned against him weakly, swallowed hard, “i don’t know. i just—woke up and felt the intent.”

Of course he did, Stretch was always better at sensing Intent, the same as Red and Sans. He came down here, alone, with no idea what he would find because he felt killing Intent? Edge ground his teeth. This was not the time for it, but that was going to be discussed later. Right now, Stretch was struggling to choke back tears, quivering in his arms. Edge pulled him closer, resting his cheek bone on top of Stretch’s skull. “Love, I’m so sorry.”

The words seemed to be the last brick laid upon a breaking dam. Stretch let out a wail, clinging to Edge as he wept, bright tears dripped on his bare rib cage. Edge only held him, rocking gently, his own grief rising up hot and thick in his soul. He never would have believed when he first brought the chickens home for Stretch that he could possibly become so attached to a creature that he was far more accustomed to seeing as dinner. But they’d become such loving pets, loyal and often hilarious, and sweet little Nugget with her antics, her precociousness that often reminded Edge so much of Stretch himself, was gone.

In his arms Stretch was shaking, and it wasn’t entirely from his sorrow; the night air was cold, and even Edge was starting to shiver.

“Come on,” Edge shifted carefully, lifting Stretch into his arms, only staggering for a second before catching his balance. Stretch made a noise of surprise that broke through the tears, both arms winding around Edge’s shoulders to clutch at him.

“you shouldn’t,” Stretch husked out, hardly more than a feeble protest.

Edge pressed a soft kiss to his skull. “I’m fine.”

His leg was only barely twinging with protest and Stretch was light. Easy to carry inside and upstairs to the bathroom, where Edge set him down to sit on the lid of the commode. He turned on the shower, letting it run as hot as he could stand, stripping away his own pajama pants and the leg splint before helping Stretch beneath the spray of water.

Stretch stood facing the spray, the water pouring down on him as Edge soaped him gently, running the shower poof over his slender, pristine bones until suds were running thickly down, clouds of bubbly white against the ivory of his ribs and pelvis.

He was still soap-slippery when he turned in Edge’s arms, Stretch kissing him with desperate urgency that Edge returned, his sweetness diluted with the running water. If he wanted sex as a distraction, this time Edge was more than willing to grant it. The last thing his love needed was more sorrow in a time where he’d already been suffering so much and if he wanted to lose himself in pleasure tonight, Edge would join him.

Tomorrow would be coming all too soon, and Edge was sure the cold morning light would bring far too much remembrance and grief. For now, Edge let slick hands move over him, his own moving in return, giving whatever comfort he could offer, in any way his love needed it.

tbc

Notes:

Now, remember the notes at the beginning of the chapter! BAON = happy endings, even if we have to wade through the angst to get there!

Read Chapter 4

Any ship, you say? How about Chlogami or Felix/Chloe from ML?

Chlogami sounds interesting; I’ve never heard that one before! I assume your request is based on the “Accidental Confessions” post I made earlier this week, so I wrote a prompt about that! I’m sorry if you meant for me to post based on something else!

Also, before I continue, I haven’t seen S3 of Miraculous yet (I know, I know, I really need to get on it), so I wrote this based on my knowledge of the characters from the end of S2! I really hope you enjoy, and again, sorry for any misunderstandings/my lack of current Miraculous knowledge!

Kagami couldn’t quite tell what it was, exactly, about Chloe that seemed so revolting and yet so passionate. She watched the way Chloe interacted with people: demanding, cold, and downright ruthless sometimes. She often wondered how many of their classmates could bear to be around her; and then there were moments like this, where Chloe’s stubbornness did weird things to her. Here Chloe stood, outside her home, with a shiny, bedazzled fencing sword idly tucked by her side.

“You want me…to teach you?” Kagami asked.

“Well, Adri-kins said that I should try it, but he’s much too busy and I really want to impress him by knowing it all right from the start…” Chloe rubbed her neck. Her confidence dwindled in the presence of Kagami, and for some reason that amused the dark-haired girl.

What could the harm possibly be?

“My daddy is willing to pay you!” Chloe added for good measure, though Kagami’s mind was already made up. Laughter bubbled from Kagami’s throat and she grabbed the girl by the wrist, receiving a “hey!” of protest. She pulled Chloe into the apartment and slammed the door, then immediately went to work pushing their living room furniture out of the way to practice.

“I don’t want your money,” Kagami said finally. Her gaze settled back on Chloe. “I want to teach you the art of fencing. It might do your prissy attitude some good.”

“I most certainly do not have a prissy attitude!” Chloe stomped her foot for good measure. Kagami laughed again and waved her hand.

“I admire your drive, Chloe. You’re going to need to really want this, though, otherwise you’ll end up giving up after one lesson.”

Chloe braced herself with her bedazzled sword in hand. “I really want this. Please, teach me!”

Their first practice went so comically bad that Kagami honestly expected Chloe to never return. Chloe hadn’t gotten a single hit on Kagami, which was exactly what Kagami imagined would happen. In fact, Chloe had worked herself up so much about not being good at something on the first try that she had broken into a sweat – probably for the first time in her life, Kagami thought idly with a snicker – and when Chloe stomped out of the apartment later that evening, Kagami assumed that would be the end of it.

But Chloe was back the next afternoon, and the look of determination was set on her face. And she came back every day for a week, always stopping to say “Please teach me!” as if begging. Kagami had to laugh at the way the word ‘please’ stuck to the back of Chloe’s throat, like she was trying to speak through a mouthful of sticky peanut butter. She began to wonder if she was only doing this because Chloe was amusing to watch.

Almost a month after Chloe started visiting Kagami to practice, Kagami remembered why she was doing this in the first place. After finishing up for the day, while the two moved furniture back into place, Kagami brought it up. “Hey, about you wanting to play Adrien…you’re getting pretty good. Have you asked him about it again?”

“Oh, hah, no…” Chloe admitted with a sheepish grin, and – maybe a blush? “I want to get really, really good. Like, your level good!”

“You sure are determined,” Kagami noted with a whistle. “Hate to break it to you, though, but this skill took me about a decade. I’ve been fencing since elementary school.”

Chloe groaned and threw her hands to her face. “I don’t have that kind of time!” she whined. “Maybe I should just give up…”

“Hey,” Kagami suddenly felt a pang of annoyance (and maybe sadness) at the thought of their fencing sessions ending, “you’ve improved a lot quicker than most people. You’ll probably be good enough to at least hold your own against Adrien in—um, maybe a few years?”

Chloe groaned again and threw herself onto the couch they just finished moving back into place. “But that’s so long!”

“That’s what it takes to be skilled at something,” Kagami replied thoughtfully, sitting down next to her. “And you can’t be skilled at something if you don’t have a strong enough will to do it. So, why do you?”

“Why do I what?”

“Why do you want to get better at fencing?”

Chloe stopped to ponder this for a minute. In all honesty, Kagami pushed her so hard in practice that she had been certain after the first few days she wouldn’t return…but here she was, with Kagami’s imploring eyes on her, expecting an answer. “I…don’t know,” Chloe mumbled finally.

“There’s the problem,” Kagami stated matter-of-factly. “Once you figure that out, you’ll either find that you don’t want to keep doing it, or you want to push yourself to keep doing it.”

“Well, why do you do it?”

Kagami supposed this might be the first time Chloe showed any sort of concern for her home life, and for some reason that made her blush. “Well, my family has a legacy, and I want to uphold it.”

“How noble,” Chloe teased, but it wasn’t the way Chloe teased the kids at school. She wore a smile – not a sly grin, but an actual smile, and she nudged at Kagami’s arm gently. “Well, I should get going for today. I’ll see you back here tomorrow?”

“Same time, same place,” Kagami agreed, and she walked Chloe to the door.

After summer vacation began, Chloe started coming over sooner and staying later. They didn’t fence the whole time, by any means – in fact, their training became a bit more relaxed as Chloe embraced her sporadic superhero status as Queen Bee. But she also improved a lot quicker, and when the girls did practice fencing, it usually ended with the house a mess as their fencing match traveled from room to room.

Kagami threw herself over her bed in her bedroom, closely followed by Chloe, who laughed despite her heavy breathing from the amount of physical activity they were doing. She had the sword trained on Kagami, and had Kagami been just half a second late on her reaction, she would have gotten hit. She dove at the last second as Chloe jabbed a potted plant and knocked it off Kagami’s shelf. It unceremoniously shattered as the girls continued their match back into the living room.

It ended with Chloe finally getting the better of Kagami as Kagami tried to vault herself over the couch and her foot caught on a throw blanket on the edge. Kagami fell on the ground, laughing and panting, and Chloe slumped down next to her, laughing all the same.

Chloe stared up at the ceiling, realizing this was why she continued fencing. Not because she enjoyed fencing, but because she enjoyed Kagami’s company.

“I enjoy your company too, Chloe,” Kagami said through soft breaths.

“Did I say that out loud?!” Chloe flushed with embarrassment.

“Well, I heard it, so either that or I read your mind.”

The practice matches continued all the way through summer vacation, and Kagami and Chloe found themselves taking days off more and more frequently to go see a movie together or get ice cream together. Each time Kagami mentioned Chloe’s fated fencing match with Adrien, she blushed and changed the topic, which only made Kagami prod more.

“Seriously, did you two get together or something?” Kagami asked over takeout one day, her cheeks heating up with some sort of anger at the idea of Chloe getting with Adrien.

“No! No, it’s not like that,” Chloe stammered. “I haven’t even really talked to him. He’s been busy with tutors all summer.”

Kagami sighed. “I don’t mean to get so upset about it,” she said finally, barely audible. “I just…”

“What?”

“You’re my partner,” Kagami said finally, her face burning. “I don’t want to lose you to—to Adrien.”

Chloe laughed. “Well, that won’t be a problem. I’m not in love with Adrien.”

Both of them stopped, watching each other with flushed cheeks. Kagami’s mouth hung open in surprise. Finally Chloe hung her head. “Uh…I said that out loud, didn’t I.”

“Yep.”

“Please don’t kick me out or something!” Chloe set the takeout down and held her hands up, as if in surrender. Kagami laughed, and the glare Chloe sent her probably indicated that it wasn’t the time for laughing.

“I’m not going to kick you out. I actually…think I might be, too.”

“U-um…huh?”

“Well I don’t know!” Kagami also held her hands up in surrender. “You said it first! Plus you look super cute in fencing gear!”

The awkwardness slowly melted away as giggles bubbled between the girls, slowly rising into full-on laughter. It eventually dawned on the two that they might have been “dating”, more or less, anyway; considering how much time they spent together and how many times they’d hung out in ways that could have been construed as “dates”, they found that actually dating was very similar to their established relationship.

They continued to fence, albeit not as seriously; now that Kagami knew Chloe was only training to be close to her, they tended to lean more towards fun than seriousness. Lots of the time their fencing sessions ended with the two of them in a heap on the floor, laughing and enjoying each other’s closeness and relishing in the newness of having someone to be close to. Chloe still came over nearly every day, and on days she didn’t Kagami would come visit her. Chloe still was the stubborn, cold person Kagami first observed when they were at school, but around Kagami, she had become something of a ray of sunshine.

That’s not to say she was the nicest person on the planet, because Kagami still caught Chloe sometimes trying to demand her to do things—but luckily, their stubbornness was a common trait and Kagami wasn’t scared to stand up to her new girlfriend.

Two years later, the last physical remnant of the trouble I got into is going away tomorrow.

The DMV removed the restriction from my license today (it was a three hour wait, which I didn’t expect going in the middle of the week at opening time, but I’m glad I got it done -- I could have done it a month ago but was nervous about the process of getting these last loose ends tied), and after a couple games of phone tag between the manufacturer of the device and the auto shop which services it to finalize approval on both of their ends, tomorrow I get the ignition interlock removed from my car.

Now there’s just the SR-22 insurance for two more years before I can go back to regular insurance (but the SR-22 isn’t much more expensive than the regular version anyway).

We have a guy at work who’s mind isn’t in it lately. Because he just his FOURTH DUI. His third was a legal battle (three in seven years becomes a felony and involves prison time and there was a question as to whether it was from the occurrence of the first one or the sentencing and the court gave him the benefit of the doubt but then he did it AGAIN two months later). I don’t see how you don’t learn your lesson after the first one. And even if not then, the punishment is more severe for subsequent instances. So he’s looking at a lengthy prison sentence this time.

I got 48 hours. Well, technically 62 days, but 60 days were suspended pending my completion of other court-ordered responsibilities like both group and individual counseling, DUI school, a victim’s impact panel (in which victims of crashes caused by drunk drivers told their stories -- including some VERY graphic images), being under the watch of “alternative sentencing” for a year (basically that meant zero drinking, random tests to see whether I had had anything to drink, home visits to see if I had any alcohol around, all of which punishable by either a day in jail or kicking in the entire 60-day suspended sentence), having an interlock installed in ANY car I might drive for a year after reinstating my license (I only drive my own so I only needed the one, at $67 per month which from what I’m told is a pretty good price; I’ll have to pay “$50-$60 or somewhere around there, I’m not entirely sure” tomorrow when I get it removed but it SUCKS for people with no credit/debit card because it’s literally the ONLY way you’re allowed to pay, keeping low-income people without a card from being able to fulfill that obligation and that order does NOT expire a year from sentencing, it expires one year FROM WHEN YOU REINSTATE YOUR LICENSE and you can’t reinstate your license until you have the device installed -- I had to show the DMV the installation paperwork last year), and SR-22 insurance (including Statement of financial Responsibility -- that’s the SR part) for three years.

At one point as I talked to the (actually very nice) DMV lady today she asked whether I still had the device installed or whether it had already been removed. She framed it as a way to say “Show them this temporary license which shows no restriction and they’ll be able to remove it” but I’m guessing it was a “gotcha” question, as removing it before having the restriction removed from my license would have violated the restriction of my license. But I bet they get people saying “My year was up last week so I had it removed,” therefore getting themselves in more trouble (I was actually half-expecting them to want to see it in my car, maybe punch some buttons and get my latest statistics as far as “has he had any violations since the last time he had it serviced and we were sent his data?” but that didn’t happen...I also had the original installation paperwork and the original court order in my jacket pocket just in case, since I had to show both when I reinstated my license, even though they scanned them at the time -- when I first reinstated my license they forgot the restriction so I had to go back and have them put it on). I’m also wondering whether the three-hour wait was intentional, since most people are there for renewals or new licenses or to change their address or register a vehicle, and those of us in the “C” group broke the law, which was why we were there. Kind of makes me feel like they were testing our patience to see if we gave them attitude about seeing SO MANY people who got there after us called first. But I was as nice to the DMV lady as I would have been had I waited 10 minutes, and by the end the lady next to her behind the counter was complimenting my Genie tie (Genie from Aladdin -- I went there straight from work this morning so I was still dressed up from work).

An interesting aside...I shave my head, but have a beard. I asked the lady, pointing to the gray under my chin, “At what point to I change my official hair color to gray?” (the color listed on the original police report). She said it was basically up to me, and that I could even put “bald” if I wanted to since I shave my head, but sometimes the hair grows out a bit between shavings and I want to make sure I’m in compliance. But I pointed to my eyebrows as evidence of the “brown” that I put down, and she accepted that. She said switching to “gray” is pretty much up to me as long as SOME of the original color remains, but then we shared a laugh about people with completely gray hair who put down “black” as their hair color (that was when I pointed out my non-graying eyebrows as evidence that while I do have some gray in there, it still is mostly brown).

She also laughed when I said the only “stat” that had changed in the past 13 months since reinstating my license was my weight, which I upped by 15 pounds for honesty’s sake. She said she NEVER would have done that, but then I said that I used to be about 35 pounds more than I am now, so I’m pretty good with where I’m at and would rather be accurate on a REAL ID-compliant license -- even though weight fluctuates, the weight I put is my average these days.

And after I got a little worried about phone battery after playing cell phone games for an hour, I then spent the next two hours *almost* finishing Rolly Crump’s book “It’s Kind of a Cute Story,” which I hadn’t picked up in so long that the Kindle app had updated and completely forgotten where I had left off (I only realized that I read two chapters that I had already read when I came upon a section that I had highlighted). I’m about halfway through the last chapter now. The Kindle app takes a LOT less battery than playing a game that has to communicate with the internet (especially since the DMV’s WiFi was worse than Disneyland’s as far as reliability, which is kind of saying a lot).

But anyway, other than the (only slightly) higher insurance bill for the next two years, all of this kerfuffle will be behind me tomorrow. No more breathing into my car before I can start it. No more worrying that “I bartended this morning, and I spilled some on my pants...will the interlock pick that up and fail me? (it happened a couple times, as did using an alcohol-based window de-icer this winter and then having the fumes from the can in the car when I tried to start it; I learned to leave the can outside the car after using it, but there are “rolling tests” where they are trying to see if you drank after starting the car and have six minutes to provide a passing same of breath and so I would have to pull over, remove the can, and then re-take the test to make sure I didn’t get COMPLETELY locked out -- I did have violations based on this, but found out a week ago when I emailed the DMV that it takes four consecutive months of such violations for the terms of the interlock to be extended, even if I had to air out my car before I could successfully start my car at the time).

After those violations, I was worried my time was going to be extended, so I was SO happy to receive a reply from the DMV last week telling me that they had looked at my records, and I was good to get the restriction removed. I had thought ANY violation would result in “more time with this thing in my car.”

And on the WAY to the DMV...I ran into a problem I’ve run into a couple times in the past couple months.

Ever since getting the interlock serviced in December, I’ve had issues with it rebooting itself.

Now, if you turn off the car with a pending test, that’s another violation. And the thing would tell me to breathe into it (it’s actually more throat-humming with this device -- it prevents someone taking a lungful of fresh air and then breathing in to beat it; humming in your throat means air from INSIDE of you is going through and it can detect alcohol you maybe thought you could hide).

So there have been times I’ve driven to work, parked, and just before turning off my car the interlock would ask for a “rolling test.” I couldn’t just turn my car off. That would be a violation, which the DMV would hear about. But if I picked the device up and it went blank as I blew into it, then said “Initializing,” I learned NOT to turn the car off (the hard way, when I got a violation for it). Just sit there in the parking spot, engine running, and wait for it to ask for a test again.

On my way to the DMV today, though, the device wanted a “rolling test.” Which I expected. The first “rolling test” can be 5-10 minutes after starting the car, and subsequent tests come every 45 minutes to an hour (and you have six minutes to provide a breath sample before you are locked out). When I drove to Disneyland in September, I can’t even guess as to how many tests I had to take as I drove, to make sure I was still sober.

But today, it asked me to re-test. I did. I heard the tell-tale “click” by my left knee that tells me it just sent a signal to the car that it’s okay to restart if I shut it down. But instead of “PASS” on the screen, the screen was blank. Then it said “initializing.” Then it asked me to test again with a beep. I did so. This time, it not only made the click on my ignition switch to turn it on, but said “PASS” -- fir about a half-second before going back to “INITIALIZING.”

When it came back up, I only had two minutes and 30 seconds left to provide a sample. I thought, “If this thing keeps resetting itself, I’m going to get a violation on the way to the DMV for permission to remove this.”

Fortunately, on the third try, the test was passed WITHOUT the device restarting itself (I am SO glad to get rid of this thing because it’s been doing this a lot for the past two months and while I’m passing the tests, it doesn’t always KNOW that I pass the tests before rebooting itself).

But at 10:00am tomorrow, I get this thing OUT of my car. If it’s anything like the installation, I’ll be there for about an hour. Which will still beat my wait time at the DMV today. I’ll probably finish Rolly Crump’s book and then either play some video games on my phone or start something new to read, like the continuations of the book which I’ve already bought.

But video games are more likely -- this shop, as I’ve seen personally and heard from other customers, does not only good work, but QUICK work, so I don’t want to get too into reading and then be disappointed when they have it done.

W: Worlds Apart - Volume 3: Worlds Aligned

Kang Chul X Oh Yeon Joo - Fix-It Fic (T)

Read from beginning or find previous chapters here: Stories

Yeon Joo goes to the river, not looking for comfort but looking to confront her grief. And confronting it comes with a little grace.

Chapter 94 - What Came Back From the Waters (832 words)

Yeon Joo hated knowing that she would have found it a relief if he had died. Not immediately--there would have been anguish, guilt. But she could have moved on. After the bridge had come the honesty, and the sweetness, and that was even harder to bear now.

She looked at the bridge, and angry tears at herself, at the world, at the story that kept playing out despite her best efforts began to rise like accusations.

She wanted to turn away, but instead, she walked one step, two steps closer.

From the shadows under the bridge, a solo figure walked out.

It checked her tears, somewhat, self-consciousness coming over her. Until she recognized him. Chul, his storybook nature still bringing him on the spot where he had to be, even in a world that didn't know he was a hero.

He looked grave--when he realized that she was in tears, sorrow came into his face.

"I'm sorry," he said, simply.

She walked into his arms.

This was how he had felt, coming back from this river, maybe. An almost unbearable weight of despair and self-blame, that only one other person could really fully understand. She let him fold her into his arms, the witness to it being real. They had erased, together, what had belonged to them. And now they were sitting in the debris of that miscalculation, trying to rebuild the world. She cried bitterly, until she had no tears left in her, then she hiccuped and pulled free. His hands folded down to his sides slowly as she stepped back.

"I feel terrible for you," she said, voice pathetically scratchy. "You don't remember choosing any of this, but you have to try and deal with it now we've made it worse. But I also envy you sometimes. You got to start fresh."

"It's no wonder you are tired, Yeon Joo," he said.

She wanted him to hug her again, but that was selfish.

"Why are you wandering the city by night?" she asked, as if she had any room to lecture him.

"It seemed a good thing to do," he said, evenly. "And it led me to you, so I haven't exactly learned my lesson."

She laughed, another pathetic sound. "Should I drive you back to Soo Bong's place?"

"No, I took his car, and it's not far."

Which meant they had to say goodbye.

"Well, this has been enough childish behavior for the night."

"Not childish, to be sad," he said, "to need to find a way to let it free."

"Still," she sighed. "I have an apology to go make. Work tomorrow to get rest for. Good night."

"Good night."

The tone of his voice almost broke her resolve. Some part of her wanted to drive with him out to see a sunrise on the beach, or to find an all-night coffee shop and spend the dark hours just talking. Not this Chul, she reminded herself.

She walked back to her car, and drove home.

It was late when she got back, but her mother was still up and she muted the TV when she heard Yeon Joo open the door. She didn't say anything, just waited.

"I'm sorry, Mom," Yeon Joo said. "You were right, of course."

Her voice was still rough from the weeping, so it wasn't mysterious what she'd been doing.

"We can't be at our best when our hearts are breaking," Mom replied. "Is it a little better?"

"I don't know. A little less...unbearable?"

"That's enough, then," said her mom.

Yeon Joo looked at her, the petite middle-aged woman who she always saw as so patient and mild-mannered. But she saw through that, for a moment. Saw the stubborn woman who, once she had decided to leave her husband, would let no raging mother and mother-in-law or sneering city clerk or sulking daughter dissuade her. Who had taken first amateur classes, then vocational school certifications and last board reviews to get into her first career in massage therapy. Who had ruthlessly held her ex-husband to his words of provision so she could put a deposit on her own apartment. Someone who had been hurt enough to do all this even though it would have been so much easier to just quietly act like nothing was wrong, and be emotionally separated from her husband while keeping up pretenses.

Yeon Joo wanted to apologize, for undervaluing her all this time, but she knew that it wasn't something she should put into words until she put it into action.

"Thank you, Mom," she said instead. She went gave her an affectionate kiss on the cheek, which she never did as an adult, then went to her room to try and calm down enough to sleep.

She got a text as she was settling in from Chul.

Sleep well.

She took a deep breath, and replied, You, too.

Well, this was why it felt wrong to think about going on a date with Do Han Yeol.

Learning to live:Chapter 2

So what brings you and the rugrats to Charming?" Tig asked. I knew he wasn't really intrested, he just wanted to know if I was going to be trouble, I won't but my ex might be. "Well, I got tired of my kids sperm donor cheating on me and being a junkie. After 7 years of it, it gets old" I said looking down at my feet and taking deep drags of my cigarette. "Why didn't you leave sooner lass?" Brit's ol'man asked.

"Honestly, I didn't think I deserved better or would ever find anyone who would ever want me." I answered still looking down.

"Fuck that prick! You deserve better babe. You're a damn good momma, you work every fucking day and never do anything for yourself, shit whens the last time you've actually had fun?" Brit asked me.

"Umm...Like real fun? Probably the last party I went to at Uncle Tom's clubhouse when I got arrested." I said looking up with a shit eating grin on my face.

"I wouldn't say getting arrested is fun." A bigger guy with glasses piped in as he walked up to us.

"That's because you've never been arrested with this bitch!" Brit said. "I remember it like it was yesterday. We was 16 and ate shrooms for the first time. And for some reason we thought it would be fun to get payback at some fucking blonde bitch for calling us biker whores and shit so we stole her car and pushed it into the lake!" Britni said laughing reminiscing on the memory. "You pushed a car in a lake and didnt get jail time?" The bigger guy asked again. "Oh that's not why we got arrested!" I said laughing. "Miss let's sneak into the local bar and dance naked on the bar is what got us arrested!" Britni told them still laughing uncontrollably at the memory.

"Yeah, I got public indecency and underage intoxication." I told them "You also tried to blow the cop to get him to let you go!" Britni reminded me. "Fuck, I forgot about that! Hey, at least he was attractive!" I said laughing "Dude he was twice your age!" She replied.

"We used to have so much fun. I miss it so much, all these fuckers want to do is drink till they pass out or bury their face in pussy!" Brit said putting her arm over my shoulder and squeezing.

"Well I haven't had sex since I got pregnant with Rayne and I haven't drank till I passed out since I was 18 so I'm not much fun anymore."

"Well we'll just have to change that! You're a hot peice of ass babe! You gotta get laid!" Brit said smacking my ass.

"Wait, did you just say you haven't had sex since you got pregnant with your girl..shes what like 5?" Tig asked with wide eyes.

"Yepp, she'll be 6 in September."

"But, you're like super hot!" The bigger guy said.

"Well thanks, I'm sorry I didnt catch your name."

"Phil." He told me.

"Well thank you Phil. But a lot of people dont think so, including myself. I still have baby weight to loose and it's been almost 6 years so." I said with a little chuckle.

•Happy's POV•

This chick was crazy! Staying with a dude for 7 years getting cheated on all because she didnt think anybody would want her! And not having sex in 5 years but knowing her boyfriend was out fucking anything with two sets of lips. She deserved better! The sparkle in her eye and the way she laughed while remembering all the fun her and Britni used to have warmed my heart even though I'd never tell anyone that. Everyone deserves to blow off some steam every now and then. Hell if I didnt get too I'd loose my fucking mind! And what the hell was she talking about no one wanting her, fuck I'd take her to my dorm and have my way with her right now! She was perfect! Beautiful face, tattoos lining her arms and hands, long thick black hair that I wanted to wrap my hands in, nice full chest that you could definitely tell was real the way they bounced when she laughed. Light skin with a slight olive undertone, a nice waist with a little belly from having kids, wide child bearing hips with a nice plump ass to match. She was bigger than the girls around here but shit that's what I liked something I could be rough with in bed and not worrying about breaking her. She may be bigger but you could tell she worked out, her ass was nice and firm but still had that fantastic bounce when she walked I could only imagine what it would look like bouncing on my dick. I wanted to find the fucker that ever treated her wrong and make him regret every single time he put his hands on her.

I remembered seeing her at the gas station and couldn't get those beautiful green eyes and plump lips out of his head then to see her pull up her and find out she's staying. By the time it was all said in done I'd have this women and she'd never remember that prick.

●○●○

"Shut the hell up girl! I know you workout everyday!" Brit said pushing my shoulder. "Not everyday, and now I wont be able to since I don't have anywhere to keep up my boxing lessons." I said looking over to check on the kids.

"Happy boxes, he could teach ya a little." Tig said grinning at Happy.

"I'm sure he's busy with other things. I'll just have to stick to walking or jogging then the kids can tag along."I said shrugging it off.

"Be out here tomorrow morning at 8." Happy said which shocked all of us.

"I'll be there, Thanks." I said shyly.

"Alright let's go get you and the kids settled in. I'm sure you have a busy day tomorrow." Britni said breaking the conversation.

"God yes, I have to get the kids enrolled in school and look for a salon and see if they're hiring." I said exhausted just thinking about it.

"Well the school thing I can help with, Tara, Jax' ol'lady can help with that she just enrolled Thomas their youngest. And as for a salon there is only one and it's a barber shop most women go to Oakland to get their hair done but he's a good friend and with some talking to should give you a booth. I know the ladies would love a hairstylist closer home." Britni said filling me in.

●○●○●

After about a 10-minute drive from the TM we arrived at Britni's apartment.  The kids were beyond excited to get settled in somewhere for more than a night, and I couldn’t blame them in all honesty I was too. Brit pulled her Camaro into the garage and I parked by the sidewalk that lead to her  “apartment” as she called it, to me it was just a small house. She walked up to the car and immediately started helping me get things out. The kids had already jumped out and were sitting on the steps that lead up to the porch.

“Just get what ya’ll need tonight and I’ll send someone over tomorrow to help you unload the rest?” She stated opening the back hatch.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that I can get it. I packed it myself.” I replied with a chuckle.

“Don’t argue! Anyways if I didn’t send someone to help Gemma would have my head.” She said with an eye roll.

“Is someone afraid of this Gemma?” I asked with a smirk.

“We all are.” She answered flatly. “Wait till YOU meet her! I’m sure you’ll give her a run for her money!” She said with that smirk of hers that I knew meant trouble.

“Great! Can’t wait!” I said sarcastically grabbing the kids’ bags.

Brit grabbed my bag and led me to the door, unlocking it and entering the house. She had a nice place. As soon as you walked in the door you entered the living room, which she had painted a dark gray with a black leather couch and recliner on one side and a big flat screen TV on the other. The living room led into the kitchen, which had a small island in the middle of both rooms, it was simple black and gray just like Brit. I noticed that there was a door on each side of the living room, which I was guessing was the two bedrooms.

The kids hurried inside and stretched out on the couch and turned on the TV making them selves a home right away. I followed Brit to the door that was on the right side of the living room.

“It’s not much but its better than where you was.” Brit said as she walked in the room and flipped on the light.

 “Anything was better than that! I’ll never be able to repay you, you know that right!” I told her in all seriousness.

“Shut your mouth, you and those babies are all the family I have left, if something would have happened to you I would of lost my mind. I just wish I could have got you out sooner, before the beatings started.” She said low.

“How did you know about that?” I asked looking down at my feet.

“Let’s just say Jamie called me every time you was in the hospital.” She told me.

That boy, I swear he might be quit and keep to himself but he never misses a thing.

“Annie, why didn’t you call me sooner? I would have got you out. I have a whole MC that would have backed me!” She said grabbing me by the shoulders and making me look her in the eyes.

“I was scared, you don’t know how many times I tried, I tried so fucking hard but I could never do it.” I said starting to cry.

“After the last time he put me in the hospital I was done. He really did a number on me that time.” I said lifting up the bottom of my shorts and showing her a scar that went 8 inches across my upper thigh.

“What the fuck Annie!” She asked running her fingers across the scar.

“My shorts were to short for a “Fat Bitch” to wear so he decided that he need to make a permanent mark to show me that my shorts had to be below that line.”

“This is the first time I’ve wore shorts in two years.”

I told her still looking at my feet.

“Babe you are worth so much more than that. Why didn’t you tell me what was happening?” She asked me again.

“I was embarrassed. I was such a strong person before I got with him I didn’t take shit from anyone let alone a man. Then I got with him and it was like I was trapped. I was scared to leave because if he ever found me I was sure he would kill me, and I couldn’t do that to the kids. That’s why I came here, I knew if he finds me here and kills me at least they had you to protect them. I cant let him get my babies..he would destroy them. They’re so innocent and sweet and have such a big heart and he’s so evil he would ruin them.” I rambled to her.

“I’m so sorry Annie, but know you are safe here YOU and those kids. Neither the MC nor me will let anything happen to you. And I promise you we will get the old Annie back! Now lets get you all settled in, you have a busy day tomorrow.” Britni said giving me a longing hug.

We walked out to the living room to see both kids passed out on the couch. I grabbed their blankets from their bag and cover both of them up and them a kiss on the forehead before I went to get ready to go to sleep myself. Britt went over and locked the door “Don’t worry only people that has a key is Chibs and Happy and they shouldn’t be by tonight.” She reassured me. I gave her a nod and told her good night. I went to my room and took off my clothes to change into a big-oversized Harley Davidson shirt and pair panties. I checked my purse for the 9mm that I picked up before we left West Virginia from an old friend. I made sure the mag was filled and out of the gun and laid both in the draw in the nightstand by the bed. The only thing that was going to help me sleep at night is knowing I had something to protect my babies! I laid in bed thinking about everything I had to do tomorrow and drifted off to sleep.

Lessons Learned ch 4

He was sitting at his desk in the office when his phone rang. He reached for it and saw it was Noelle. He picked it up to hear her crying. "Noelle what is it?" He asked before he she could speak. "The the the apartment buuuuildinng." She drew out. "Noelle where are you?" Mitsuhide asked as panic flew through him. "Outside." She responded and he was now standing grabbing his jacket and checking to make sure he had his wallet and keys. "Noelle are you at your place?" He asked. "Yeah." She replied. "I'll be right there." Mitsuhide said as he got in his car and flew out of the parking lot and was racing towards her. They had gone out to dinner at least once a week since the first time he took her to dinner and then to his house to go over studying. That had been five weeks ago. He had been happy for the first time and he was scared nearly out of his mind when she called. He got to the perimeter and the local police all recognized him as they waved him through. "What are you doing here. A simple drug fire." One of the cops said as they looked at him. "Not here for the case. A friend called me who lived in the building. I need to find her." Mitsuhide said as he was looking through the crowd. "A friend of yours lives here?" The cop said. "My assistant." Mitsuhide said as he walked away. He was looking everywhere for Noelle when he spotted a woman sitting on the sidewalk. "Noelle?" "Mitsuhide!" She said as she struggled to stand. She went to him and he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. "Are you okay?" He asked into her hair. "I heard the explosion and then the heat and then The fire alarms went off. I managed to get out quickly." Noelle said. "Everything is gone." "It can be replaced." He said. "You are what is important here. You and the baby." "Mitsuhide I have nothing now." She said as she sobbed into him. "You're alive. Everything else doesn't matter." He whispered into her hair. "You and the baby are fine Noelle that is what matters." "I don't know what to do. I grabbed my purse and my backpack but everything else is gone. I don't have anything Mitsuhide. Anything." She cried. "Come love. Come with me. I will take care of you for now." Mitsuhide said as he started to lead her away from the building. She was distracted and distraught. He knew that she was probably in shock as well. He wanted to get her out of the cold. He wrapped his jacket around her.  As he led her away he passed his information to one of the investigations as the contact for her and her apartment. He knew that meant they would watch whatever was left of hers closer because of him. He sat her down in the car and he went to the driver-side and got in. "Noelle talk to me." Mitsuhide said as he started the car and started driving away. "I don't know what I'm going to do. Now there is no way. I can't do this." Noelle said in a quiet voice. "You can, sweetheart." He said softly he took her hand in his and she looked at it like it was an alien concept. "Mitsuhide I need to think about this in reality. I should talk to an adoption agency. I can't do this. I can't do anything right." She cried. When he pulled into his driveway she looked around blankly. He got out and helped her out as he got to her side. He braced his hand around her when she had a deep intake of breath. He felt the reason she did that and he was surprised. "Was that?" He asked. "It was him." She said softly. "Him?" Mitsuhide asked, "you didn't tell me you knew what it was." "I found out earlier." She said. She reached in her purse and pulled out the ultrasound pictures and handed them to Mitsuhide. "So this is what the little alien looks like." He chuckled. "I don't want to see it." She said. "Noelle stop." He said as he showed her the pictures, " this is your baby boy. He is fine." "Mitsuhide I can't do this. I tried and I failed." She said defeated. "Oh really and how did you do that, my dear?" He asked as he led her to the couch. "Everything I had was there. It's all gone." Noelle said softly, "I can't rebuild it. I can't afford another place." "What were you paying?" He asked. "450." She said. "Okay sweetheart how about you rent two rooms from me?" He asked. "What?" She asked. "Rent the two upstairs rooms from me. You can have one and the baby can have the other. Hell just pay for one room. The baby can stay  for free. Actually let me help with the baby Noelle." Mitsuhide said as he sat down. "You want to help?" She asked confused, "why?" "Call it a need to help you. Look he will be here in a few months let me help you." Mitsuhide said. He saw her hands on her abdomen and he wanted nothing more than to feel the baby as well. "Can I?" He reached out his hand and she looked at it, "Of course." She guided his hand to the side of her growing stomach and put it there. The baby kicked almost immediately. "Is it always like that?" He asked as he chuckled moving slightly closer. "He is active at night more. I think the quiet gets to him." Noelle said as she looked up at the man who just offered to house her and her baby. "Did you mean it? Letting us stay here?" "Yes. Actually I insist. Noelle I meant to bring this up before this happened. I didn't like you living there and to be honest a fire was the best thing that could have happened to you. A young woman in general in that area is not safe. I had a hard time sleeping at night knowing you were there. Noelle I have a proposal for you but I don't think Now is the time to ask." Mitsuhide said. "Just ask Mitsuhide." She said. "I'm not completely in shock." "I know you want to keep him regardless of what you said. Noelle you will be a great mother I already know that but you shouldn't have to do it alone. What you say if I claimed him as mine as well?" Mitsuhide said. "What?" Noelle asked. "Look we get along well enough. You need help and I am willing to step up and help you and the baby. Let me claim him as my son, Noelle and he will be safe forever if you let me do that." Mitsuhide said softly. "Noelle please allow me to do that. He will never want for anything, neither of you will." "Mitsuhide why?" She asked. "Do you really want to know?" He asked as he moved closer to her. His hand was still on her abdomen rubbing in small circles. She was acutely aware of it as he was so gentle as he touched her. She nodded as she swallowed. He leaned forward as he brushed his lips on hers as his other hand wrapped around her nape and brought her closer to him. She was not in shock as she kissed him back.   "Noelle." He whispered softly against her lips. "Yes Mitsuhide. I will allow you to help me and him." She said equally as soft against his lips. "Thank god." He said as he smiled. He kissed her again gently as he moved his hand on her abdomen. "Are you sure you want that?" Noelle asked. "A son? You? Of course I wanted that since the day I found you outside my office." Mitsuhide said. "Look Noelle I would like to try at something I never had before, regardless of this between us working or not I will be this guys father forever, okay?" "You mean that?" Noelle asked. "I wouldn't say something that permanent if I didn't mean it, sweetheart. I have reached the point in my life I want more than just working. I'm tired of coming home to an empty house. I will admit I was attracted to you that first day. I didn't want an assistant. Somehow you broke through that with your honesty that day. You wanted walls and barriers all around you I can understand why. I watched you struggle and stumble and the whole time I wanted nothing more to step in an help you. I don't make interpersonal relationships Noelle. I tend to want to sit on the sidelines and watch things but with you somehow it was impossible to do that. I worried about you even before you told me about him. We might not be a conventional thing but I will help you as much as I can with him. Having a child around might be the last puzzle piece I need. I want to have you here." Mitsuhide said softly. "What about my job?" She asked. "Thats what you ask?" He laughed. "Well I do need money." She said. "Your job was never in question, my dear." He said chuckling. "As long as the directors don't catch wind of it I don't see any issues. I think the problem will arise when I take paternity leave. However I will take the consequences when they arise." "Mitsuhide I don't want you to get in trouble because of me." Noelle said as she sat back into the couch. "There will be no trouble, almost all the Professors have relationships with some of their students some more than one or two. As long as it is consensual and no laws are broken everyone is adults so no one cares. Of course you are not my student so there is no question of authority or misuse. I am fine." Mitsuhide countered. "And regardless this is worth a paper in my file. No one has to know the true parentage of the child, just us. And we can take our time with each other. I am not saying we jump into something we aren't ready for. Everything will happen as it should. Tomorrow we will go and get you a bed for tonight you will sleep on mine, I will be out here. We will also start getting things for him. We have some time so we can get enough for him to have to be ready." "Mitsuhide I don't know what to say." Noelle said as she looked at the man in front of her. This man was laying everything down in front of her that she wanted without and qualms or conditions. She had to think this was a dream. She never expected help, or anything from him. He was offering everything she wanted to her including a family and a father for her son. "Mitsuhide there is only one problem with your plan." "What is that?" He asked as he narrowed his eyes slightly he had thought this through for over a month and could see nothing wrong with it. "I don't know who the father is, he could be a completely different race." She said softly. "And you think skin tone would matter to me?" He asked. "If you claim him and he is a mixed race baby people will talk." She said. "So let them. Noelle from this moment baby Hanson is now Baby Akechi do you understand?" He said with a soft grin, "I personally like the sound of that." "I think I do too." She said as she moved her head to his shoulder and rested a moment. His hand still rubbing soft circles on her abdomen. When the baby land a sharp kick right under his hand. "I think he does too." Mitsuhide said softly as he moved his arm around her and held her tight to him with his other on top of where his now son resided. He went from scared out of his mind to more content with life then he had ever been. He made a silent promise to both of them to keep them close and happy as ling as he was able too.