What If?
Sirius had often wondered about the 'what if's' of his life.
He wondered what would happen if he had stayed, if he had let his parents corrupt him. He'd then have to think of the why. Why would he do that? Why would he choose to be forged and molded by their hands?
There was the obvious reason, Regulus.
He had almost lost a battle with himself to leave when it came to his little brother. He was a Gryffindor, and yet he hadn't the courage to stay in that house to protect his little brother. What a Gryffindor he was.
There was always more than one reason though. There was definitely more than Regulus that he had come up with for reasons to stay.
He could've been scared.
Sirius had the smallest amount of Gryffindor courage out of them all, so this option doesn't come as much of a shocker to him.
He could've been scared and afraid.
He was always afraid of them. Is. He still is afraid of them. Of what they'd do if they found him, what they currently do to Regulus. It all makes him want to die, to turn over a new leaf and leave the wicked world that had made his life this way.
Then, there was the less obvious.
With little courage, Sirius could have also been sorted into Slytherin. He'd no longer have James and Peter and Remus. Oh, Remus.
If he's honest, he has only ever wanted to leave because of them. He's scared of that house and the people inside of it, but at least it's familiar. At least he knows what to expect when he steps foot into the cold, bare house. Never a home.
As a Slytherin, he'd probably be closer to his brother though. Sometimes Sirius wishes he was one for that specific reason, but only on his darkest days does he have that wish.
Then there's the least obvious reason, the reason that scares Sirius the most and leaves him shaken up time and time again.
He knows the danger of 12 Grimmauld Place and the people within. He knows what his mother and father are capable of, he's experienced it first hand. He knows how the spells and hits leave him battered and bruised, on the brink of death.
A fine line stands between the living and the dead. Sirius walks on that line most of his time at 12 Grimmauld Place.
So maybe they get him this time. Maybe they've finally snapped on trying to fix Sirius, figure he's too much work, and just get rid of him.
Sirius shivers at the thought every time. That he might forever be trapped in that house because he was never given the ability to get out. He didn't have the time. It's a nightmare that wakes Sirius up most nights. That he has died at the hands of his parents, or worse, it's Regulus.
Sirius always finds a way to blame himself, whether it's the fact that Regulus takes ownership for something that was completely Sirius' fault or Sirius just doesn't happen to be able to save him.
But he tries, every single time he tries to help his brother escape the grasps of death.
And every time he fails.
And every time he's awoken in a cold sweat.
And every time Remus wakes up with him, stroking his hair and whispering reassurances to him because it's not his fault and he couldn’t have saved someone else when he needed saving himself. But it only works momentarily. And then the cruel cycle of life continues.
Until he sees the Daily Prophet, news of a death.
The death of a death eater. How ironic? Sirius likes to think to stop himself from tearing up at the fact that that person was just another casualty of war despite the side they were on.
But this time, Sirius doesn't laugh. Or cry. Or make any noise or reaction. He's stuck as he reads of a death, the picture on the cover too familiar to be anything good. Sirius freezes.
He can't hear when Remus calls his name or feel it when he shakes him. He can feel, however, the newspaper being ripped from his hands as Remus reads about the death of his baby brother.
Then, and only then, do the tears begin to pour.
"Oh, Pads."
A gut wrenching sob escapes Sirius as he crumbles.
It's all a nightmare, until it's war and your worst dreams become realities. When Sirius could not save his brother, even now, from the grips of death.
Sirius started to wonder, as he always does, but this time it's different. He wonders when it will ever end.
The world is a cruel place and even crueler when the 'what if’s' become realities.
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yall are killing me. i was trying to see if there any other pics of louis and his new girl, and yall- 😭
Look, I love Larry too, but yall are trying to stretch in every different direction to make this fake. Maybe it is, maybe it’s to get up hype for the doc, but either way, she is still a human, and so is Louis.
Louis is no longer restricted from being himself, and if he had been hiding anything before he left simon’s label then he’s definitely not now.
I may not understand where you guys are coming from when you think that Louis and Harry are still together, but at least stop harassing them! Maybe entertain the idea that they’re dating every once in a while.
All I can think about is what if they are actually dating? What if she’s happy with Louis and he’s happy with her? Then y’all are screaming that it’s fake and bad and stupid instead of leaving the man be. Like I said, Louis doesn’t really have any restrictions on him now, and if he’s actually in a secret relationship with Harry, it’s because they want it to be.
No matter what you think, please leave her alone, stop claiming that she’s a kid when she’s a grown woman, stop yelling at louis and his management and his family. It’s not okay to treat people like that, no matter which member of a band they left 7 years ago you think they’re dating.
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