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samwinchestersbf · 1 year

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"I Will"

Sam Winchester x Reader

This was based on Mitski's song, I just love her music so much.

Authors note: Suprise!! A comfort fic!! I haven't been doing the best lately, my mental health is really getting to me. I think writing this may help :) Beware of any writing mistakes, it's 4 am right now so criticism is welcomed. (silly hours for me) Non-specific reader and this one might be a little small.

Reblogs are appreciated!! <3

He was always so caring and lovely no matter what, you knew that.

However, something inside of you just ate at you for days, weeks even. It was different and difficult, causing the past to reel you back in. The 'What if' thoughts were consuming you once again.

What if that never happened to you? What if everything you went through was for nothing? What if this was the last week for you? What if you're just making it all up? What if.

The sadness was a persistent parasite, you wanted it out of you.

You were a little avoident and dismissive about it, throwing "Yep I'm good"'s at him.

He knew something was actually up with you, he attempted to try to fish it out of you.

You started to refuse to sleep in the same bed, if you did it would only be for a little bit before rising earlier than he did. You slept in the library or even the kitchen, your excuses with research and exhaustion weren't cutting it anymore.

He didn't do anything wrong, it was you being you.

He was finally able to corner you, catching you up in your lies.

You two were sitting in the impala, Dean in the store for some food on the ride home. You, in the backseat, pretending to be asleep so you could wiggle your way out of the tense situation.

"You're getting worse, I can see it. Please just talk to me, I will take good care of you."

You took a quiet deep breath to reject the tears.

You couldn't explain it to anyone out loud, it felt like an internalized argument with yourself.

An argument of upset and angry thoughts. You wanted help but the shame and bravery of asking for help was overwhelming to ignore.

His hand patiently reached for yours. It was warm and soothing. You ached for his love yet you couldn't bring yourself to embrace it.

"I'm sorry," is all you could mutter out. How could you explain to him?

Sorry Sam! The thoughts are getting worse and I'm not sure if I'll make it this time. I hope you can understand!

As if that was okay to tell him, it'll raise him to questions and concerns.

Dean came back to the car, putting an end to the situation. He was aware of how your mental state was, you weren't too hard to read.

He offered you food and you accepted it out of a hint of guilt if you didn't. You just placed the food next to you and watched the environment move when he backed out of the parking lot.

The drive was going normal, their normal brother bickering and silence. They were having a talk about the hunt you all got done with yesterday.

You decided to tune it all out, ruminating in your own world.

You thought of ways to tell him. Maybe you didn't need to, you could just lock it all away to eventually forget.

You started to feel a sense of dread building up in you so you attempted to sleep it off.

You woke up with soft whispers of your name, Sam's voice trying to wake you up.

Due to the lack of sleep and high alert you bolted up, sitting straight and facing him.

"We're here now, come inside so we can talk."

Those words made you feel small as a little kid would when they get in deep shit. You thought about it more, that's all you've been doing as of lately.

You got out of the car with Sam trailing behind you.

Dean must've been inside already, ready to booze and snooze.

The two of you just walked in the same tense atmosphere as before, making your way to your shared room.

He closed the door behind and immediately wrapped his arms around you in such a gentle way.

Obviously you couldn't help but sob in his care, you needed it so much. Repeating the words 'I'm sorry' to him over and over.

It never felt enough.

He never said anything during it, he understood sometimes you struggle. He played with your hair, guiding you to the bed to sit down with him.

"It's okay to feel this way", he replied to your aftermath of crying.

"I'm always here for you. I will always be here for you. There's no need to run and hide from it." The way he spoke to you in that tone, you wanted to melt in his love.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You shook your head still unsure of how to talk about it. He gave a simple nod and hugged you a little tighter before letting go.

"We should go clean up, we're dirty from that hunt."

Sam held your hand the entire time as he lead you to the showers.

You both stood in silence again, just appreciating each other while the water ran. You wished the peaceful intimate moments with him lasted forever.

The night ended with him holding you, the tense atmosphere now replaced with kindness and comfort.

"It's just getting really bad again, I just want it to stop."

"We can get through it together, please just stay with me for now."

#sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #x reader #fanfic #comfort #supernatural #supernatural x reader #supernatural sam #supernatural dean #dean winchester #help me im so fucking sad #comfort fic #comfort is good right?!?!?!#god i yearn for this man #im gay for sam winchester

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inklore · 19 days

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has anyone ever seen a more pathetic man than colin staring at penelope's mouth? trick question, you haven't!!!

#please know i mean pathetic affectionatly #i didn't feel like making these into gifs because it will not be able to capture how fucking DERANGED he is #mind you this is from first kiss to last kiss #and in most of them pen is looking AT him and he's looking at her mouth in SHOCK NEED DESIRE WANT YEARNING #to the people who say he didn't grovel or was tortured enough BITCH HE'S LITERALLY LOOKING LIKE A CRAZED MAN #god i'm going insane #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #bridgerton #colin x penelope #polin #bridgerton spoilers #ʚ laurs art ɞ #tw long post

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bakudekublogblog · 4 months

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god thinking about katsuki murmuring "gotta win... right izuku?" right before charging right into his death is so so so fucking batshit insane of a thing to include. like he's yearning for him. like not only is he speaking as if izuku is still at his side, but he still remembers what izuku said to him all those months ago and is fighting to live up to the version of himself izuku admired. and then he goes "tell me.... izuku.... can i still reach you" CAN I STILL REACH YOU LITERALLY LONGING FOR HIM, TELL ME, ONE LAST THING BEFORE I GO, JUST TELL ME IF I CAN REACH YOU FUCKING I'M LOSING MY MIND OVER HERE IT'S PEAK PINING TRAGIC ROMANCE

#bkdk #bakudeku #i'm literally going insane thinking about just how hard katsuki was yearning for him #all of this happening knowing he's probably going to die specifically to hurt izuku #the word choice the TELL ME #IZUKU ONE THING SPEAK TO ME ONCE MORE JUST TELL ME #CAN I REACH YOU #RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAA #CAN I STAND BY YOU CAN I BE BY YOURSIDE AM I WORTHY AM I STRONG ENOUGH #the fucking YEARNING IS GOING CRAZY AND THIS IS WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT WHEN HE DIES #when izuku thinks he's gonna die to muscle man in s3 he's like “sorry mom”#katsuki is just full god i wish i could be at your side izuku i want to speak to you one last time i want the silly trading card we got #signed #hori i swear to god if you dont let these boys hug each other after all this tragic gay pining i'm gonna scream

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fraye-complex · 3 months

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I just really like it when a guy is soaked in sweat and covered in dirt. Is it too much to ask to see a couple grubby guys here? Where are they? Why are you all so clean?

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antigonenikk · 1 month

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Eugene/Merriell

"We have lingered in the chambers of the sea By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown Till human voices wake us, and we drown."

#now that i have all the footage from the pacific logged im gonna go crazy with these edits just so youre all aware #eugene sledge #the yearning its all about the yearning #snafu shelton #merriell shelton #oh my god i cant remember how to spell his first name...t he french are insane #the pacific #sledgefu #song is of course sufjan stevens alone wiht you #i was gonna use an adrienne lenker song but i caved!! gotta give it to the classics #snafu im gonna get ur ass..... im gonna get u....... for breaking my babys heart...... i wont forget this not ever.....#eugene “never known a man who loved me” sledge we need to get u to the club baby #video edit #amv

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soullessjack · 9 months

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okay now that maws has officially introduced the evil alternate superman concept into the show I think it’s necessary to point out that across nearly every dc media revolving around Superman going rogue (not including ones where his upbringing is changed) the tipping point for his every downfall is almost always the death of Lois Lane.

Superman The Animated Series - Brave New Metropolis - Lois is doing a story on Intergang and getting too close to exposing them, so they bomb her car. Clark takes this as a realization that he’s fighting a war, and so has to take extreme measures to protect people; these extreme measures include teaming up with Lex Luthor for the sake of his vast resources and establishing a dystopian police state within Metropolis, however it’s important to note that Luthor abused his newfound authority to that dystopian extent, and Clark was genuinely unaware of the city’s true conditions.

Injustice - The Joker tricks Superman into killing [a pregnant] Lois and destroying Metropolis by detonating a nuclear bomb she is strapped to. Superman goes mad with grief and rage, kills the Joker in that infamous fist-through-the-chest-heart-ripping panel, and continues to slowly deteriorate into an amoral dictator over the course of five years. Eventually he establishes a borderline-fascist regime called One Force Earth, ironically intended to “enforce global peace,” but at the cost of the entire world’s personal freedoms (STAS also had an episode about this, featuring Mala and General Zod as the dictators in question).

MAWS is heavily focused on Clark and Lois’ relationship and his status as an alien as elements of his becoming Superman–and given that we’ve already been shown glimpses of the multiverse, alternate Super-tyrants, and an entire legion of Loises who more or less survived their respective Clarks, I think it’s very possible that some of the Soups we see in Mxy’s orb are Supermen who’ve either lost their Loises or their upbringing with the Kents—Supermen who have utterly lost or utterly lacked the very elements that this show emphasizes as being what makes Clark who he is, and I think it would add so much more tension between Clark and Lois and the rest of the world to know that their safety and his sanity basically hinges on this one woman he’s fallen into major puppy-love with.

#I LOVE CLARK AND LOIS SOOOOO MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTTAAANBBDDDD #HE LOVES HER SO MUCH IT MAKES ME SICK #maws #maws spoilers #my adventures with superman #superman the animated series #evil superman #injustice #injustice gods among us #injustice superman #brave new metropolis #lois lane #clark x lois #clois #clark kent #dc #dc superman #dc injustice #not to be yearnful but characters who love somebody so much they instantly become insane over it are my favorite full course meal #tryna slide jack kline into this like he obliterated his own soul and slowly cooked a man to death bc his dad vaguely suggested wanting it #and he went fully psychotic with grief over killing his grandmother to the point of using necromancy to bring her back and fix it ..#twirls hair #there’s also Smallville Red K Clark who basically got high to cope with Lana breaking up with him but I don’t think that counts #it’s kind of lame actually im sorry

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feline-evil · 1 year

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Hiding my shirt that says 'i am not normal about narratives that imply an inanimate inhabited structure is a living breathing organism' as i walk into a board room and pitch my idea that we should make more horror revolving around living architecture

#jay talkin #I JUST. I JUST. i'm thinking about old haunted house movies that have this grimy sticky feeling to the house #where the evil is not just afflicted to wood and bricksbut eminates from it as a hatred #the house itself hates you. the voice screaming get out is born on the vocal chords of the hallway #i am also thinking about The Hotel the podcast you should all already be streaming CHOP CHOP CMON NOW #which is of course a more unique and i would say more abstract sister to this concept #(said deeply positively the concepts and horror explored make my brain ping pong rapidly)#which is another reason you should be listening because it does its own thing that i think you should listen to and discover yrself :)#(and also it is far more than this this is just a tiny SLITHER of what is explored go listen NEOW)#and i am also thinking about. drum roll please. you know whats coming. yes it could be nothing else #kitty horrorshows anatomy which is TO THIS DAY one of the best and most influential games upon me i have played #a game that pushes this concept to its core grotesque emotional fleshy pulp and runs with it #anatomy is a game that breeds in anxiety and discomfort and bleeds a sincere love in the horror it portrays #that love is something i yearn to see in horror media! it is also present in the hotel AHEM AHEM #but yes anatomy is an experience like no other that you really should experience for yourself #(glances down at my shirt) um. um ok so ill leave the board meeting now thank you for listening #dear god my pain medcin kicked in and i instantly became the worlds least normal man didnt i. WELL!!! thats all of youse problem now

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boy-kisser-in-theory · 21 days

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i talk about wanting to be called pretty and loved and being treated like someone’s everything but for some reason people don’t think you can be a binary trans man, or man in general, and want this.

so, this is for the masc binary trans men who want to be called pretty and to be loved and to be treated like someone’s everything.

you can want that too.

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monostardust · 1 month

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Is it just me? Coz I can't I physically cannot. I can't look at him without screaming my lungs off. I just wanna grab him outta my screen and swallow him whole. Holy shit. I am so seriously unwell for him its insane.

#austin butler #No lube no protection all night all day #I am so down bad horrendous for this man it's not even funny #Like I just wanna *makes slurping noises*#I've had nights like these before just yearning pining for Austin #Please god just once let me meet him or something please

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poems-of-a-lover · 1 year

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grab me by the hips and pull me close to ur chest. wrap ur arms around my waist, hold me tight, like u dont want to ever let me go. keep a hand on my lower back, the other coming up to rest on my cheek to pull me into a kiss. kiss me like u need it, like u need to be as close to me as possible to even exist, like im all that matters. run ur hand over my side and my back, tangle ur other hand in my hair, keep me as close to u as u physically can. and please, please, don't let me go just yet.

#man i love writing skdjfhskjdhfkj #me when i am. thinking.#god someone make out with me right now. rightttt now.#i should write more of these i think #mlm #mlm yearning #mlm post #mlm love #gay mlm #trans mlm #mlm blog #t4t #mlm thoughts #t4t yearning

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fella-lovin-fella · 4 months

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1 year since my boyfriend poked a love note into a banana with a toothpick

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edwardallenpoe · 22 days

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*when I see photos of butches carabiners linked together* me: I'm fine I'm fine I'm okay it's okay I'm fine this is great I'm so great I'm okay today is a good day you're having a great time life is good-