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#(glances down at my shirt) um. um ok so ill leave the board meeting now thank you for listening
feline-evil · 10 months
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Hiding my shirt that says 'i am not normal about narratives that imply an inanimate inhabited structure is a living breathing organism' as i walk into a board room and pitch my idea that we should make more horror revolving around living architecture
#jay talkin#I JUST. I JUST. i'm thinking about old haunted house movies that have this grimy sticky feeling to the house#where the evil is not just afflicted to wood and bricksbut eminates from it as a hatred#the house itself hates you. the voice screaming get out is born on the vocal chords of the hallway#i am also thinking about The Hotel the podcast you should all already be streaming CHOP CHOP CMON NOW#which is of course a more unique and i would say more abstract sister to this concept#(said deeply positively the concepts and horror explored make my brain ping pong rapidly)#which is another reason you should be listening because it does its own thing that i think you should listen to and discover yrself :)#(and also it is far more than this this is just a tiny SLITHER of what is explored go listen NEOW)#and i am also thinking about. drum roll please. you know whats coming. yes it could be nothing else#kitty horrorshows anatomy which is TO THIS DAY one of the best and most influential games upon me i have played#a game that pushes this concept to its core grotesque emotional fleshy pulp and runs with it#anatomy is a game that breeds in anxiety and discomfort and bleeds a sincere love in the horror it portrays#that love is something i yearn to see in horror media! it is also present in the hotel AHEM AHEM#but yes anatomy is an experience like no other that you really should experience for yourself#(glances down at my shirt) um. um ok so ill leave the board meeting now thank you for listening#dear god my pain medcin kicked in and i instantly became the worlds least normal man didnt i. WELL!!! thats all of youse problem now
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reidsnose · 3 years
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buggin
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overview: reader enlists the help of her neighbor (who shes never met) to get rid of a gnarly bug in her apartment
genre: fluff
a/n: thought of this today after i moved the shower curtain, saw a centipede crawl out, and screamed for my dad to come help me. anywayyyss i thought its be cute so as always lmk what you guys think :)
masterlist
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you walked into your bedroom, fumbling frantically with the buttons on your shirt as you raced to leave your house on time. hair brush hair brush hair brush. where was your hair brush? you knocked over countless items trying to find it but with no luck. bathroom! you quickly made your way to the bathroom, opening the door so fast that wind blew through your hair.
and then you saw it.
a gnarly, long, nasty, creepy crawly centipede.
you let out a loud shriek and promptly shut the door. if you didn't get to the interview one time, it would surely be a bad first impression. but then again so would showing up with a bird's nest of hair on your head. you tried who knows how many times to go back in and kill it or catch it in a cup but each time you saw its countless, spindly legs you backed out. you checked your watch, 10 minutes until you had to leave.
you walked out into the hallway of the apartment building, and in a frenzy, you bumped into a tall, handsome man leaving the apartment across from yours.
he chuckled an apology before looking to meet your eye, breath hitching in his throat as he did. you were arguably the most beautiful woman he had ever seen (despite a very questionable hairdo). and when a surge of desperation ran through your body you rambled an explanation to the stranger, telling him about your job interview and time crunch then promptly begging him to come inside and get rid of the centipede for you.
and something inside him couldn't say no. he wanted to, i mean when an objectively crazy looking person lures you into their home to catch a bug, generally one says no and goes on with their day. however, maybe it was his complete an immediate infatuation with you or maybe his empathy for your situation, he decided to quickly help you and then try and get to work as fast as he can.
he couldn't help but subtly and subconsciously profile you based on your home as soon as he stepped inside. he liked it. your decorations, the small mess that makes it feel lived in, the general 'vibe' as morgan would say was incredible.
you gave him a sheet of paper and a cup, per his request, and led him to the dreaded bug bathroom. you couldn't help but watch in awe as he walked in with no fear, explaining to you in great detail how this was only a house centipede and it only had 15 pairs of legs which kind of counters the name. and how it isn't poisonous to humans and infact eats other bugs. you loved his facts so much and you followed him all the way to the window where he let the bug out, listening intently to what he had to say and swatting away the apology that came after the ramble, insisting that you genuinely enjoyed it.
"thank you so much,.." you trailed off, not knowing his name.
"Spencer." he filled in, offering a tight lipped smile.
"Spencer! wonderful. well again thank you so much and i owe you once I'm back from this job interview!" you smiled as you both walked to the door.
"oh you don't have to-" he began.
"no i insist! just knock on my door when you can and ill take you out." you stated, causing his eyes to widen, " not with a gun! i meant like ill buy you coffee or something!"
"i didn't think you meant with a gun?!" he laughed, handing you the hairbrush this whole ordeal was about. you laughed along as you closed and locked your apartment.
"I'm sorry i'm like completely fazzled right now! i have to go or else i'm never gonna get this job ill just brush my hair in the car! ok bye Spencer!" you called as you jogged down the stairs.
"wait i don't know your name?" he called after you.
"ill tell you when i buy you a coffee!" your giggle echoed through the building followed by the loud shut of the downstairs door.
he smiled to himself, wondering if he should tell the team about his funky morning encounter. he smiled the whole train ride to work, and then the walk from the stop to the building and then the elevator trip up. he just couldn't stop smiling. he thought about you brushing your hair while you drove and even giggled to himself on the train causing a few strangers to toss him some concerned looks.
how could he be living next to such a beautiful stranger?
when he walked into the bullpen, he saw the. whole team huddled around a desk, staring quite obviously at hotch's office. a new curiosity piqued his interest though his thoughts of you continued to be front and center in his mind.
"whats going on?" he asked, joining the group and craning his neck to try and see into the office.
"new agent interview." jj whispered.
"really? since whe-"
"shh!" Garcia shushed.
"you cant even hear them!" Reid defended.
"quiet helps us read their lips." prentiss whispered.
Spencer continued to crane his neck, moving around yet only being able to see hotch, who was throwing his head back in laughter. hotch laughing? wow this new agent must be pretty cool!
"oh my god! i've never seen him laugh like that before!" Garcia squeaked.
"she has to get the job now," morgan added.
"ah we have to wait for the handshake, thats when we see if he really approves," Rossi countered, "if he double hands the shake then its a done deal."
they all watched excitedly, waiting impatiently for the end of the interview. after a few minutes they saw hotch stand up and shake the possible new agent's hand with his right, firmly clasping his left over the handshake.
"was that the double handed handshake?" Garcia asked excitedly.
"yup." Rossi replied, popping the p.
as soon as the door began to open, the team tried ever so gracelessly to disperse, bumping into one another and murmuring fake excuses. a familiar outfit caught Spencer's eye as the new agent left hotch's office and he dared sneak a glance.
no way. his mind raced, thoughts of this morning flooding it a mile a minute. could it really be the girl from this morning? he watched as you excitedly left the building, beaming far to much to notice any other people as you left.
"bug?!" was all he could muster. not even loud enough for you to hear. unfortunately, loud enough for the people around him to.
"theres a bug? where?" morgan asked, looking around.
"no um...bug-she..is bug- um. nothing." he stammered.
"did you nickname the new agent bug?" jj laughed.
"what? no! do not say that in front of her!!" Spencer stammered.
after a couple teasing remarks, to Spencer's relief, they seemed to have let it go. the day was case-less and flew by quickly, the most exciting part was the morning interview and hotch's announcement that there would be a new agent starting tomorrow.
you sat at home, beyond excited about your successful interview, all thanks to handsome neighbor Spencer. you couldn't help but feel extra indebted to him. you feared you may have scared him off when you offered to take him out but it was the best way you could think to say thank you. but your nerves had transferred mainly to the upcoming first day of work.
as he got hone he debated knocking on your door but decided against it, knowing you were probably busy preparing for tomorrow.
when you arrived tomorrow a series of seemingly unfamiliar faces sat in the conference room, awaiting you and hotch.
when you stepped inside your eyes scanned over each of them, all looking very excited to meet you.
and then you saw him.
handsome neighbor Spencer was sitting RIGHT THERE. the stars have aligned and finally life is in your favor. after a brief introduction the meeting began and you took the only seat open which happened to be next to Spencer.
you gave each other polite smiles though both of your cheeks glowing red told a different story than two people who had just met.
"wheels up in 20." hotch concluded.
you all walked out together, the team making sure you felt included.
"so hows the first day feeling, y/n? or should i be like my friend Dr. Reid here and call you bug?" morgan asked slightly amused.
"oh my god you told?!" you laughed, looking wide eyed at Spencer.
after a high pitched denial from Reid and tears of laughter from the team as you told them of the events of that morning, you already felt like you were a part of the team.
as you boarded the jet, you decided to sit next to Spencer.
"you know, i still owe you a coffee," you mentioned nonchalantly as you pulled a book from your go bag, trying as hard as you possibly could to not blush.
he smiled slyly, picking up his own book to hide the rouge that fell upon his cheeks, "and ill hold you to that, bug."
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ultra mega super cool taglist:
@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @hey-there-angels @sonnydoesrandomshit @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9 @vampire-overlord @takeyourleap-of-faith @s1utformgg @violetspoetic @b-a-utiful @aperrywilliams @eevee0722
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