#genuinely not sure if it’s the stress or anxiety or if i’m really just not good enough for this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gangplanksorenji · 5 months

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Kinknuary Day 11: Riding

Pairing: NMIXX Haewon x Male Reader

Word Count: 4,359

[Kinknuary Masterlist]

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You’re making a fool of yourself, and Haewon too.

You tend to be an attentive person, capable of being aware of anything and tend to go straightforward but you’re just acting like you’re oblivious and god, you’re bad at it. Thankfully, Haewon is worse at reading your true emotions towards her and that’s a sigh of relief—you didn’t want it this way but it just feels uncanny being romantically involved in a relationship with her, even though you’re one of her close friends.

I guess, you’re just in the “friend’s zone” no matter what happens, but you could never be so sure because sometimes, she can be unfathomable.

“God, I've been so stressed lately.” Haewon thuds at your couch as she stares up at the ceiling, feeling a little exhausted from the earlier party the both of you attended.

“Maybe you’re just being too harsh on yourself, Haewon.” You remark as subtle concern emanates through you in which, Haewon jokingly teases you with that, not before rolling her eyes and letting off a scoff towards you.

“Wow, you’re concerned for me, hm? That’s not you—that’s not you!!” She changes her lazy demeanor into a lively one as she looks at you with a surprised face (knowing it’s genuinely sarcastic), rushing towards you and then holding your shoulders as she slightly shakes you, teasing you even more as her dorky personality shows.

“Yah, stop it!” You brush Haewon off with your arms as she pouts after you remove her hands all over you, a little bewildered with your possibly irritated approach. “I’m just saying that you’re maybe just overworking yourself on too much, that’s all.”

Haewon reflects for a bit, thinking that you’re maybe right in these circumstances as she takes this a little too seriously. Maybe approaching such deadlines and procrastinating too much isn’t going to do the job, and setting time schedules to do productive things would be the right call and you’re letting her know how she can be more efficient and she can do better than that.

Of course, you’re thoughtful about her, even though you may act like a hypocrite sometimes and deny it, there’s still a heart inside you that values her as much as she does towards you. The sign of the hint of anxiety painting her face earlier as she overthinks about it is alarming for you, and you don’t want Haewon too feel like that everytime, even when there are times (like earlier) that she should enjoy and have fun but because of it, it’s going towards the opposite way.

“Yeah, maybe I am—sorry though…”

You paint a confused face from her nigh-melancholic remarks as you’re not used to seeing Haewon being down all of a sudden. “Sorry for what?”

“You know—how I acted a little off earlier, at the party. I know I should be enjoying it earlier and I’m sorry for that…”

Haewon is now being true and open to herself and it’s great to see that she’s vocal about it. Brushing off the whimsical atmosphere from earlier, you offered her to sit down onto the couch as you’re all ears on what she just said. You’ve never felt this serious about addressing your concern towards her and of course, you reassure her by stroking her hair and letting her know that everything is going to be alright because you’re there by her side, as always.

“You don’t need to be sorry, Haewon. You just need to plan things ahead and you’ll cope out of this, alright? I’m here to help, too.”

Haewon smiles at your reassurance, feeling genuinely thankful with your thoughtfulness even though you don’t really show it to her often. “Yeah, thanks though—maybe I needed that…” Not so long after, awkward silence ensues between the both of you as it’s clearly obvious that the both of you aren’t used to being thoughtful against each other but nonetheless, the both of you (especially Haewon) appreciated your kind words. “You know what? I wanna do something since I’m getting pretty stressed lately.”

Ah yes, the usual dodging and the turmoil of current topics—it’s a classic move by Haewon and with those words and that tone being uttered by her mouth, this can mean two things and it’s pretty straightforward: it’s either she wants to battle against you in an online game or basically, she wants to destress by having sex with you. The former is pretty obvious since she loves playing one-versus-one games with you whenever she is feeling competitive, or if she just wants to relax and chill out, then she’ll invite you to play some farming games yet the latter, is something interesting and somewhat, what piques you into this moment. Sex isn’t new for the both of you as you casually do it with whenever the both of you feel like it and it’s also the time where the both of you confess your kinks, wants and some experimental stuff that you both want to try. It even comes to a point where the both of you needed to take breaks because on how wild and exhausting you guys went into and also buying some soundproof foams just for your neighbor’s ears to be saved mostly from Haewon’s screams of pleasure—and it’s always bleeding your ear, every goddamn time but you didn’t care.

Well, I guess the both of you are the freakiest friends to ever exist.

“Just say you want to have sex with me, Haewon.” You’re straightforward and stern whilst Haewon is in utter hypocrisy and in denial. Even though she’s back at her usual roots when it comes to gaslighting you, you can’t deny that her eyes are glistening with lust as soon as you say those words and you're not oblivious nor stupid to not think about it.

“What if it’s not the case, huh, pervert?” You’re not affected by that knowing it’s just one of her tactics of another gaslight and soon, she’ll eat her words up.

“I highly doubt it, Haewon. I bet you’re wet as fuck right now imagining my cock ravaging your tight pussy—”

“Yah! Not too fast, idiot…” Haewon lightly punches your shoulders as she feels aroused at what you’ve said, crossing her legs a little as she can feel her urges finally turning her on. You know how to pick her locks and as much as she wants to deny it, she can’t help but voice out her needs as the inevitable desires that she’s been seeking for is now making her a different girl. “But you’re fucking right—I want it now~”

Of course, she’ll give in to her own desires in some time as she swiftly hops her figure to mount over your clothed nether region and rubs her hips greedily onto it. You, smirking in delight, finally caught her eye as you tease her with her needy state, her constant small whimpers and biting of lip is a good reason behind it.

“See, I know you’ll give in soon, Haewon—I know you.”

“Fuck you—just shut up and let me do my thing.” Haewon continues to grind onto your crotch in which you loved the feeling because of how mutually arousing it is for both parties. You and your hands didn’t become idle as you encouraged her with more dirty talk and your hands caressing the slender finger that her outfit shows, your eyes lighting up in admiration as her body is simply the epitome of perfection. Of course, with both your desires needed to be attended as soon as possible, the both of you didn’t waste time to strip off your the clothing that has been preventing the both of you with such enchanting touches as Haewon starts the show and you, picking up the scraps and following her steps.

With the hot scene being taken in place, you want both parties to be busy with something torrid and—there you go, pull her wrists to initiate such an intimate kiss and she eagerly reciprocates like always. The kiss was full of profounded fervor as every second finds vigor in every peck and neither of you chose to even pull out, not even Haewon herself because she just fonds herself indulging into it further. Knowing how you’re insatiable and delectable at her end, she wouldn’t dare to act tough and push you just to pull out and say that she doesn’t want it—you’re pretty confident that she won’t retaliate as it’s working effectively so far but you could never be so sure. Why is this such a big deal? Well, there are a couple of things why and here are those: firstly, Haewon wants to go straight to where she wants her needs to be unattended, no matter which hole or whatever she may think of; second, kissing Haewon this intimately like this is like finding a needle in the haystack as you know that she doesn’t really indulge into deep kisses like this and that’s why you’re a bit perplexed that she’s not pulling out of your lips’ warm embrace and lastly; Haewon doesn’t really want to share her true feelings as she’s afraid of spilling something out of her mouth that could make both of you uncomfortable. Some of these conclusions are mostly correct as with years of knowing her, you knew that these are the possible reasons but you could never be so sure.

Speaking of the devil, it didn’t last that long as she pulled out and as much as you want to indulge further, that wouldn’t be possible as the both of you untangle each other’s lips and hurriedly catched breaths, chasing oxygen. While you were utterly satisfied that you got to taste her luscious lips, Haewon, on the other hand, isn’t really a fan of it—and again, peak hypocrisy is possessing her and obviously, she’ll deny that she felt more than greatness making up a torrid kiss with you.

“We’re not going to make love with all of these kisses—I want you fill me up, nice and easy—”

“Stop acting like you didn’t love it, Haewon.” You roll your eyes out as you express annoyance and a hint of disappointment towards her hypocrite actions. You know she loved it, considering how her hands involuntarily coursed it’s way onto the back of your neck, stopping her from stripping her outfit and with that, she can’t help but embrace defeat as she doesn’t have a strong weapon up in her sleeve to fight back.

“You’re so annoying! Maybe I did because you’re a good fucking kisser—there, happy?” Of course, Haewon expresses her discomfort with your sudden intimacy as every word is laced with sarcasm as every isn’t genuine because you could feel and you know her too well. You know she isn’t seriously angry in any means and meant to just annoy you and tease you, so you didn’t find her “furious” demeanor too serious.

“Hah, come on, Haewon, you’re no fun! But honestly, I’ve been wanting this all along, not gonna lie to you.” Helping her strip away her clothing with the dexterity of your hands, you get rid of it one by one as you can see Haewon’s face getting curious and puzzled, wondering what could be the real cause of your wants.

“To kiss me intimately, hm? ‘Cause all I really know is that my lips are as addicting as my tight pussy, isn’t it?” Opposite from Haewon’s hypocrite approach and repudiative personality in terms of vocalizing each self’s wants, you, on the other hand is more straightforward and optimistic, always lying onto complimenting people as it gets better for both parties and you still keep the persona even with Haewon, but teasing and mocking is inevitable as it’s such a guilty pleasure to see Haewon being annoyed or angry at you.

“Well, you’re definitely a clever girl with that judgment, Haewon.”

You can’t lie about that as every feature Haewon has is pure art as you all love them equally but one must prevail and it’s pretty obvious for you since you love the thought of just mindlessly hammering her tight, warm cavern until she submits into full submission and lust. As she completely undresses the possibly hectic clothing out of her scrumptious body, you were met with a simple yet lethal look that complimented the slender curves of her body: a white-laced bra followed by a set of white panties in which, would be deemed useless once the show starts over. You don’t want her hanging by a thread, leaving her almost naked as you undressed your clothing off, unbuttoning your pants as quickly as possible and yanking it off you and then throwing it out on wherever it lands on the living room, as well as removing your polo shirt off within a speed of light. Leaving the both of you with only a single defense left before you drool on each other’s bodies, the both of you didn’t even hesitate for a single bit as you removed the last bit of your iron walls and immediately, your eyes collapse onto each other’s remarkable features: you eyed her perky breasts and her taut nipples, as well as her probably wet cunt from all of the dirty talk from earlier and Haewon eyed your fully-erect length like it’s a meal to be savored and used, her eyes getting lit up with lust in every throb it does.

“I’m just going to say this again, because I’ll know you’ll tend to forget it—” Haewon gets dangerously close towards you as she’s inches away from feeling her touch but she has other plans, and tends to whisper such factual claims that you’ll absolutely agree on. “—I’ll rock your world today to the point that you’ll forget anything except my tight pussy around your rock-hard cock.”

Well, she isn’t wrong, because whenever the two of you had sex, it always ends up with both of you succumb onto your needs as the moans of satisfaction is enough as an evidence and also on how much arousal and stimulation the both of you are into whenever you fuck each others’ brains out. In your words, she’s truly the epitome of a switch but now, you’ll let yourself be the meal that she’ll devour but she has more thoughts kept in her sleeve.

“Well, Haewon—how do you want me today, hm?”

“You know, since you’ve been so good on me lately and I’ve been wanting to do this with you…” You set off a puzzling look as Haewon softens her tone, wanting you to be all ears on what she has to say as curiosity fully sets you off onto asking her what she wants for now.

“What would you want to do, Haewon?”

Haewon fixes her position as she lets you lay down onto the couch, relaxing yourself as you fully immerse yourself onto what she’s going to be up to and she utters, “I want to ride the living fuck out of you—that’s what I want to do.”

Well, that wasn’t much of a hard guess since the position and her mounting onto your crotch is indeed an obvious sign that she wants to ride you. Well, this wasn’t new on your watch as she rode you for like months ago and would love to experience it again and here you are, fulfilling that dream of yours. This wasn’t anything you’d really want to do with her as you find this unorthodox on your own words because you’d rather fuck her and gain the better leverage and dominance to handle her body in which, she fully submits to.

You won’t complain since it’s also an arousing thought with Haewon having to ride your cock like it’s her last and you’ll give her what she wants.

She started off with such leisure strokes that made you groan in pleasure, such sensual sensitivity also adding to the twist and making everything better. Not so long after, she teases her glistening lips onto your throbbing shaft, as you can already feel the wetness enveloping your tip and soon enough, you grew impatient with her antics, and you need to let her know about it.

“Aren’t you going to ride me or just tease the living fuck out of me?”

“Just wait, you horny fuck—” Haewon glares at you with an intent to faze you but it was the opposite. The anticipation is too much to handle and you can’t take anymore, and neither does she. “—foreplay is an important element so chill your horny ass down.”

But you know she can’t resist feeling your entire length inside her and you can sense it even if she tries to deny it, like how she always does. So, without any time to waste, she slowly hops on your cock as it sluggishly engulf her tight walls and the feeling is just too good to be true, making the two of you moan in need and pleasure. She slowly sinks in your whole length as it didn’t take long before her butt meets the skin of your thighs and ensues at such a slow pace that’s pleasurable enough to make you feel butterflies. As she’s fully indulging towards her own desires, she finds herself picking up the pace as she grinds her hips onto a moderate pace and inevitably, she tends to moan out her satisfaction as your whole length makes her feel good.

“Not gonna l-lie—ahh, y-your fucking cock is so big that makes m-me feel good…”

“And your wet cunt is so tight that it’s j-just too good to be true.”

Again, feelings are mutual and you won’t dare her to stop even if you can’t take it—you just find yourself wanting Haewon to ride you until your balls are fully drained. Feeling euphoric, Haewon’s hands course its way onto your chest as she aids herself on a better pace as she caresses it from time to time, reassuring you on how great it feels. Just with her touch, you could sense and read how she feels at that very moment and it’s all just peak pleasure at its finest. She expresses such a smug demeanor, confident on how great she’s riding you even though it’s not even a minute that you’re inside her—you know how she loves it genuinely when shows such emotions of confidence and pure lust, her assertive demeanor letting you know her primal desires and her satisfaction.

Thanks to her wetness, it wasn’t really the hardest to take her all as she maintains her pace and eases herself up with every thrust she does at your raging length. She just finds herself moaning too much as your cock does wonders all over her body, constant pleasure surging in her veins and with all of those events occupying your mind, Haewon is now trying to accustom herself onto this new profound pace. Every clapping of her cheeks onto your pelvis sends vibrations all over the living room as the sound adds up to the sinful symphony the both of you composed a while ago—and god, her hypnotic bouncing really sends you into overdrive as her pussy just feels so great that you just wanna bury your entire length inside it all day.

“You’re riding me so well, Haewon—keep that pace just like that—fuck!

Of course, you encourage her well in order to maintain the incredible feeling that has been coursing down your veins. Haewon’s hips now slam hard in every time she fucks herself onto you and it’s an incredible feeling, especially when your hand course its way onto her supple butt and give her hard spanks and as a response, her velvety walls clench tightly and you groan in a hint of pain because of it.

“You like that, huh—you like me riding this fucking dick like it’s my last? You like how my pussy clenches? You like filling myself up balls-fucking-deep? Shit—I fucking—I can’t stop riding this dick!”

“Yeah, Haewon—I never though this will this fucking good—ride me harder and faster!”

You can’t really stay idle and just relax while Haewon is gyrating her hips like her life depends on it. So, encouraged with her wetness enveloping your entire cock and the squelching of it in every thrust she do, your hips starts to oscillate such a pace that increases the fire of lust between the both of you as the trajectory of both bodies muster such libido that’s unstoppable. Her hands are now gripping your shoulders as the pace is now the wildest she could ever imagine, uttering such erotic moans that blesses your ears and arouses you into oblivion. Haewon still maintains her wild pace as you increase yours too, your balls now wildly slapping against her puckered hole as her juices are now staining the couch as everything doesn’t matter right now except the paramount of delighted sex—you’ll probably regretting having a sensual intercourse with her on your couch as it’s going to stained enough for you to maybe change it.

You could never ask for more when every man’s wish is fulfilled at this moment and god, Haewon is one of a kind when it comes to her sexual masterclass and as the top of the pyramid, her scrumptious, insatiable body is all for you to feel and use. With all of the monstrosity the both of you went into, it wasn’t long until Haewon felt herself inching closer to the promised land and wanting herself to go near it. In the point of no-return, she conveyed such profanities that can outstand the most sinful discordants as her thighs quiver and voiced out her nearing high to you.

“No–oh god! I’m g-going to cum s-so soon! Shit—your cock makes me feel so good!”

“Hah—and you’re bickering earlier that I cum so prematurely, huh?”

Haewon shows off an irritated disposition from your mocking remarks as she retaliates, articulating such a mindful response even though her mind is being clouded with sex and pristine pleasure. “Shut the fuck up and m-make me cum sooner, how about that?”

That, you won’t be denying to do. You’ll please her as much as she does to you and finding such a better way to opt for a climax, you ram your pelvis onto her pulsating cunt harder as her walls clench even harder than ever before. If she’s going to achieve her high this euphoric, might as well add up to the sensation she’s feeling as your fingers directed onto her emanating heat, swiping her folds in a rhythmic tempo in aims to stimulate it further and help her chase her own high sooner.

Whenever her pitch reaches the crescendo, it’s the point where everything ascends and your ears wish to fall deaf as her throat escaping such lustful symphonies comes to a halt, voicing out her climax and Haewon fully succumbs onto her orgasmic trance. With such an unstoppable approach as lust fuels Haewon’s mind, she further penetrates herself deeper and harder onto your whole length as a rivulet of her own nectar stains your pelvis and onto the couch and god, it’s rich and volume which makes you think on how euphoric she felt at this given moment. When the pace of her hips gradually decreases, you can find yourself doing the job by thrusting upwards and chasing your own orgasm too as the high-drunken Haewon helps you with your own reward too, riding you with an incredible pace as she didn’t mind the sensitivity that comes right after.

“What the fuck, Haewon—you came so much… You better find money to change this fucking couch ‘cause fuck—you stained this so much.”

“What do you mean—god, I fucking hate you but fuck—I can’t r-resist your cock!”

Such oxymoron is laced within that sentence as she cursed herself to submerge onto her devilish desires to the fullest, finding her wild pace again as you relaxed yourself and let her do the work. Even though Haewon may love the fact that she’s riding the living life out of your whole length with her walls begging a healthy load to be deposited deep into her cunt—yes, the fulfillment of your orgasmic trance will soon be near as you stop Haewon with her current remarks which earns an irked disposition painting her face.

“Why the fuck—”

“You want my cum deep in your pussy, right?” She nods without any question as her face quickly fades into a delightful one as she anticipates your load in the fullest of manners.

“Gosh—just ram my pussy like y-you meant it—oh god—f-fuck! Just shoot i-it deep in m-me—fuck, harder!!”

Now switching another position, her legs now hug around your waist as you carry her and ravage her tight, snug pussy like it’s your last, every thrust meant to make her forget about anything except you and your cock. Within a few more thrusts, the inevitable will soon come and there’s no one or nothing on earth that can stop this monstrosity. Within the vigorous pumps and the numerous moans she’s letting out to encourage you more, you let go of your grip on hers as you push your entire length in her, burying it balls-deep as you groan with your anticipating orgasm and god, it’s so fucking much.

Haewon finds this endearing that you’re this stimulated with another position she loved trying. Her mind comes back into being clouded full of sexual desires as you shoot ropes of thick, warm semen that filled her up to the brim in which, she damn treasure as every second that passes is just being closer onto the paramount of every delight possible—your mind now full of bliss as it does wander all over your mind. The both of you fall limp on the couch after such a steamy session and an ecstatic orgasm of yours as silence ensues but ragged breaths fills the air, and suddenly, no one talks as exhaustion envelops all over your bodies and drowsiness doing its job.

You never thought that she’ll be into this more than what you expected and you just want to rest and maybe, opportunity seeks its victims tomorrow or possibly, even later—who knows how fate can make your destiny?

#kinknuary 2024 #nmixx smut #haewon smut #nmixx x male reader #haewon x male reader

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callme-darling · 4 months

Note

Please imagine asking Attorney Vincent Renzi for help after his successful case, begging him to represent you in court and that you're willing to pay with any means he wants just for him to take your case🥺 💦

anon YOUR MIND !!!!!

ok but i can see this being a hidden fantasy of his🫢 like not so much something that he’d genuinely go for in his career, but in the bedroom, as some sort of roleplay? oh my god yes. (please note: this got away from me and i couldn’t stop thinking about vincent being confident and teasing and aidnjsnsjdn)

any means

word count: 1.8k

warnings: smut, vincent x fem reader, coercion (?)—not really, but idk what else to call it, dom vincent, whole lotta flirting and teasing (my fav), some thigh riding/grinding, not proofread

vincent comes home after a successful case—a major one at that, so it’s a huge win for his public image. but for whatever reason, he just can’t seem to relax. maybe it’s from spending the past four months in a near constant state of stress, or maybe it’s the lingering anxiety of the next case, and the next case, and the next case.

whatever it is, it has him sat at the dining table with his head in his hands. his shoulders are tense and you can tell he’s in his head, undoubtedly plagued with overthinking.

you walk up quietly behind him, the house suspended in a tranquil stillness as the hours dip into the late evening. from behind him, you softly place your hands on his shoulders, the lean muscles flexing slightly under your touch. with the diligence of quiet devotion, you work the tightness from his neck and shoulders, fingers soothing the ache before slowly trailing down the front of his chest. you lean more into him, your chest against his shoulders as you bring your lips to his ear. your voice is gentle, a playful lilt in your tone:

“what’s wrong, mon cœur?”

his shoulders rise slightly as he inhales, his palms falling from his face with a sigh. from your angle, you admire as he rubs a hand down his face, his high cheekbones made more prominent as he sucks in his cheeks a bit—a habit that alerted you of his stress.

you wait for him to reply. your hands come back up to massage the nape of his neck, and you can’t help but want to try and find some way to make him feel better.

“i can’t help but think of what’s going to be next. we won this one, but i want to win the next one too, and the one after that, and the one after that…” he sighs again. “i’m tired, but i feel like i should be preparing.”

“for what?”

“i’m not even sure.” he runs a hand through his silver hair, and you catch the way his eyes glow in the dim light of the lamp. “but it feels like a waste to simply sit here and wait.”

you keep your voice soft and your touch even softer as you continue massaging up his neck, your fingers gently combing through the hair at the back of his scalp. “rest and relaxation are part of your job too. you can’t work well if you don’t have balance.”

you watch as he closes his eyes, leaning back slightly into your touch. he has a faint smile on his face.

you quirk a brow, a small grin tugging at the corner of your own lips. “what’s so funny?”

“hm?”

“you’re smiling.”

at that, his smile broadens and you can see the faintest bit of a toothy grin starting to break out. he shifts so that he can bring his arm behind your waist and pull you to stand at his side. vincent turns in his seat to face you, his eyes smiling gently up at you. “i just had a thought, that’s all.”

“what kind of thought?”

“i thought of something that would combine both work and relaxation.”

you tilt your head slightly, an inquisitive expression on your face. “wouldn’t that be counterproductive?”

“you haven’t even heard what it is yet.”

you shake your head a little with a snake roll of your eyes, smile biting at your lips. “okay, fine, what’s this idea of yours?”

you can tell he was proud of whatever it was, from the way his eyes shone and smile was full of confidence. his hand on your waist fell to your hip while his other hand fell to your thigh, his fingers tracing small nonsensical shapes across the skin.

he seemed to pause for a moment, eyes peering into yours with a mischief you hadn’t seen in a few months. the look had your stomach submerged in a pool of heat almost instantly.

his voice was lower now, only by a fraction, but the minute difference meant all that much more to you. “i just thought what it would be like if you were my client.” he watched you as he spoke, undoubtedly noticing the way your thighs twitches under his fingers.

you lick your lips quickly as you gather your thoughts, cheeks beginning to flush as the temperature in the room shifted, but you willed yourself to match his confidence. you stepped even closer into his space, one leg positioned between his as he remained in his chair, eyes glimmering up at you.

“oh? and if i was your client… would you represent me for free then?”

he chuckled, and you had to hold your breath to keep composure. “oh darling, i’m no charity worker. even a pretty girl like you would have to pay.”

your hand is in his hair, playing with a few strands of the soft silver, tugging only a teasing fraction as you speak, “and if i have no money?”

his hands both made their way to the back of your thighs, cupping the skin just below your ass, his fingers lightly gripping the plush skin. “then i suppose you’d have to find another, suitable form of payment.”

you could feel the heat emanating from your core from only a few minutes of flirting, but there was no denying the effect he had on you.

you bring another strand of hair between your fingers, angling his head back slightly as you made a face of rumination, bottom lip pulled gently between your teeth. if you were going to play this game, you were going to play it to make sure he won, no matter the depravity of your words.

“the great attorney vincent renzi…” you bring your face to hover a couple inches above his. “how could i ever get such a great man to support me?..” you let your lips ghost over his.

“flattery would get you nowhere.” you could feel his lips twitch into a smirk as his eyes watched yours intently.

you give him a faux pout, still nose to nose, his grip on your thighs tightening ever so slightly.

“but i would do anything to have the most handsome counselor of france represent my case.”

“anything?”

“anything.” your voice was barely above a whisper, the heat radiating off your entire body was near oppressive. “anything maître vincent renzi wanted.”

“such as?”

the octave of his voice had your brain short circuiting, and it took everything in your willpower not to clench your thighs right in front of him, under his attentive touch.

“if you wanted to touch me, i’d let you touch me anywhere. if you wanted me on my knees, i’d stay there for hours.” you swallow, breath stuttering softly as excitement tingled down your spine. “however and whenever, you’d want to use me, i would let you.”

vincent seemed pleased with that answer. he was leaned back slightly still, his posture slouched a bit as he relaxed more into the chair, his hips closer to your legs as he brought a hand to his mouth as if to strike of pose of mock contemplation.

“is that so… i suppose i may accept such an offer, however…”

you hold your breath. “however?”

he sits up again, his face directly in front of your chest, both hands on the back of your thighs again. he stares up at you, piercing blue eyes silently challenging you. “you don’t seem very convincing.”

you bite back a whine at his damn composure. feeling your neediness build up, you finally say fuck it and take hold of one of his hands from your thigh and bring the palm to your chest. your knee kneels on the chair between his thighs as you lean over him.

the wrist in your palm flexes slightly as he teasingly gropes at your chest, just enough to make you pull your lip between your teeth.

“is this supposed to convince me?”

the cool vibrato of his voice had your thighs clenching together. “please vincent.” you whisper, voice breathy and bordering on a pathetic whine.

he only chuckles, hand gripping onto your breast more firmly as his other hand pulls your waist closer so that you’re straddling his thigh. his touch his mindful now as he deliberately pushes the fabric of your bra aside, his fingers quickly finding your nipple and rubbing it over your shirt.

“tell me, would you really become so desperate as to let me take advantage of you like that?”

maybe it was the way he so easily took control of you, or maybe it was the look in his eyes, or the diligence of his touch, but you knew without a doubt you were not above letting him fuck you for compensation if it would be like this.

“yes,” your answer was breathless, nearly moaning. you felt him flex his thigh under your pussy, “fuck- yes. i’d let you use me just like this.”

you noticed how his chest rose and fall with bated breaths, his hand on your hip slowly encouraging you to rock your hips along his jean clad thigh. as you begin to rock your slick core over his jeans, you felt his words warm against the side of your face, his lips tracing the shell of your ear.

“such a pretty girl like you… who thought you could be so dirty—practically selling your body.” your breath shuddered as he began to trail love bites down the side of your neck. “would you do this for just any kind of services? would you let the mechanic fuck you for free maintenance? or the professor for good grades?”

you grind your aching clit against the muscle of his thigh, whimpering as he bit marks into your sensitive skin. “n-no.. no, only you.”

“only me?” he pulled his face away from your neck and brought a hand to your chin, his fingers holding it as he studied your expression.

his eyes flicked from your half lidded eyes to the flush of your cheeks before finally landing on your bite-swollen lips, blushed a pretty pink from your teeth. the pad of his thumb swipes across your bottom lip, pulling it to the side gently.

“suppose if it’s only for me, i’d accept such an offer.” he pulled your chin so your head was angled down slightly. his eyes met yours again, his pupils blown. “so go ahead and show me what this good girl would do for me in return.”

#ꕤ ₊˚✧ mailbox .#♱₊˚✧ filth .#swann arlaud #anatomy of a fall #anatomie d'une chute #anatomy of a fall vincent #vincent renzi #vincent renzi smut

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vintagetimetarot · 2 months

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When will it happen? timing reading 🕰️

Hi everyone, I know I said I would upload a love reading next (it’s coming) but I felt really called to do a timing related reading, since I think I’m getting the hang of learning to interpret timing in tarot. This is a general reading, so only take what resonates. Some readings could be shorter or longer than others because this is very based on what just comes out to you. Make sure you ask a question related to the timing of something. Let’s get to it, pick a vintage item below for your reading.

Pile 1

So, in terms of the timing of your question, I feel like there are two different types of people in this pile. If you are asking about love or anything to do with a specific person, I feel like this thing you are asking about is going to happen between seasons changing. So I think this could be (at least from my northern hemisphere perspective) between the end of summer to the start of fall, so between 2-6 months. If you were asking a question about conflict, personal growth, or anything unrelated to what goes into the category of the first type of people, I see this thing happening when you have come to a certain realization of breakthrough. I see this happening a bit slower, probably 4-8 months. Because there is this energy of being very stuck for awhile, but eventually prevailing over time from catching a new perspective. This is your reading pile 1, I hope you got some clarity.

Pile 2

Ok, so in regards to your question, you could either be asking about an event that you may not be particularly looking forward to, or there is just an emotionally charged question. I do see this event you are asking about happening quickly regarding the context. I think if you are asking about something that takes typically longer, this could be about 5 weeks from now. If you are asking about something quite quick, I’m getting five days from now. I think your question may have to do with a certain situation of conflict for most of you, or something related to this has been bringing you a lot of genuine stress, anger, and/or anxiety. A message I’m getting is to not get too in your head about this, and remember you control your own destiny. YOU are taking the lead here. That’s all Pile 2, I hope this brought you clarity.

Pile 3

You got all major arcana cards, so pretty strong energy. You may be asking about something or big or something you are very passionate about. So, I think the answer to your question is that the timing of this really depends on your actions right now, they could slow down or speed up the timing of this. This question involves a lot of divine timing. I know it might be annoying to hear, but the pace of this really depends on you. If you continue with positive actions towards this event, I do not see this happening any later than 5 months from now. But again, there is this emphasis that this is really dependent on the work you are putting in so to speak. That’s it Pile 3, I hope this brought you some clarity.

Pile 4

I think based on the cards I pulled, this may be a bit of a longer timeframe from when you expect this event to happen. I do think whatever this is, there is definitely a positive outcome to this, if you are asking about something you want to happen, don’t worry, it will eventually happen but it’s going to take time. It is not found to happen overnight. This could be dependent on another person or other people, which is why this is taking so long. I feel like this may happen within a year, at the earliest I feel like this could be is 6 months from now. There’s an emphasis on waiting for the right opportunity and having patience. This is all pile 4, I hope this brought you clarity.

#tarot #tarot reading #pick a pile #pick a card #pac

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thecuriousquest · 3 months

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Shiggy Drug Dealer to Yandere HCs

Yandere!Shigaraki Tomura x Fem!Reader (you’re 18+ but still not old enough to buy alcohol)

Warnings: Yandere themes, NSFW (drugs, alcohol, and murder), mention of erection, Shiggy wants you, controlling/possessive yandere, conditioning, characters 18+

Master List

Note: I’m not hating on anyone who chooses to do weed for medical/recreational purposes. This is just my take on Shiggy as a drug dealer who ends up falling in love with you.

@palesweetscherryblossom

—————————————————————————

Just thinking about Drug Dealer turned Yandere Shigaraki.

He loves you so much that he stopped selling to you. He doesn’t give a shit about anyone else. He just wants you sober.

It pains him because now he doesn’t have a good excuse to see you anymore, but he still wants you to get clean.

He ends up stalking you, trying to just “coincidentally” run into you at some convenience store.

“Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while! How have you been doing?”

As if he doesn’t already know.

You tell him that you’re getting your drugs from Dabi now, and he knows, but he has to act like he doesn’t know.

Shiggy lies and tells you that Dabi puts fetenal in his weed. He tells you that Dabi mixes weed with a mixture of shit that could put down a horse.

“Imagine what that shit could do to you, Y/N.”

And you’re thinking about going to Twice or Spinner. You ask Shiggy about them because he really does seem genuine, but he makes up some shit about them being untrustworthy as well.

“Twice is schizo or some shit, and Spinner’s only in it to get girls high and then feel them up.”

You’re immediately put off by all three, and you pout slightly as you try to think of some way to just get some good fucking weed. So you ask him.

He literally sighs and looks away from you.

“Maybe…you should just stop. You…should enjoy your life sober. Stop putting that shit in your body.”

He wants to control you, but he doesn’t want to scare you. If you were his girl, he’d make sure you knew the rules. No drugs. You can drink if you want, but he’ll be there to supervise.

But you’re not his girl, not yet anyway.

You ask Shigaraki why he cares so much.

“Because…you’re actually a decent human being, and you deserve better.”

You can’t help but feel your heart pound and flutter.

You deserve better he says.

It makes you blush, even if it is an awkwardly phrased compliment.

You thank him and tell him you’ll think about staying clean.

However, when Shigaraki gets wind that you’re trying to contact some drug dealers around Japan, he can’t help but *intervene*.

Intervene as in kill them all. He has the power and the means to do it.

And suddenly, you’re left crawling back to Shigaraki on hands and knees. It’s a welcoming sight. You knocking at his door, eyes red and puffy from all of the stress in your life. You’ve been crying, you can’t stomach any food because of the anxiety, you can’t sleep because of the loud thoughts which race well into the night. You’ve been surviving on maybe two or three hours of sleep every night if you’re lucky.

The way you look makes his dick hard, but he pushes all of his urges down as he invites you inside.

No, he still won’t give you drugs, but he offers you a drink under his supervision. A little vodka shot. One. Only one. It’s not even half a shot glass. Basically just a third. It doesn’t get you drunk…

But it does take a bit of the edge off.

You do end up crashing at Shigaraki’s place, and his bed sheets smell like sandalwood and something synthetic like chemical spice, and his pillow is a little too thin for your liking, and his sweatshirt that he loans you is big and comfortable.

You fall asleep under the fleece blanket, not thinking as much, not feeling as much, so you finally manage to get seven hours of sleep.

It’s so good.

You don’t even notice that Shiggy is conditioning you. You, not being old enough to buy alcohol yet. You, only managing to fall asleep because of the tiny shot that Shigaraki supplies. You, feeling safe enough to fall asleep next to a warm body. You, waking up and feeling better than you ever have in the last few months. You, actually feeling up to eating breakfast, a meal you’ve gone without for a while now.

It’s all because of him. All thanks to him.

You can’t help but look at him like he’s your number one fucking hero.

Little do you know how much of a true villain he is.

#yandere #triggering content #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere x y/n #triggering themes #yandere x darling #yandere themes #my hero acedamia #boku no hero academia #yandere my hero academia #my hero academia headcanons #my hero academia #yandere shigaraki tomura #yandere shigaraki #yandere tomura shigaraki

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acinnamongirlsdiary · 3 months

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𝓦𝓲𝓵𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓕𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓻𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓟𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓽𝔂 𝓟𝓲𝓷𝓴 𝓡𝓲𝓫𝓫𝓸𝓷𝓼-𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 1: 𝓢𝓪𝓭 𝓖𝓲𝓻𝓵 𝓫𝔂 𝓛𝓓𝓡

Summary: Reader and Jacaerys are arranged to be wed. But reader doesn’t want that bc she hardly remembers him. Tension are rising with house Lannister so allies are more important then ever.

Cw: Slowburn, angst, this is genuinely just a fix-it fic, Rhaenicent, some mentions of s/a trauma but will be tagged in the chapters!!, mean dad, eventual smut but will tag in chapters, readers super apprehensive, VERY self indulgent

Pls be nice this is my first fic lol!! Feedback is very welcome tho! Banner creds to- @gwzzzly

.˳⁺⁎˚ ꒰ఎ ★ ໒꒱ ˚⁎⁺˳ .

You were sure your father would be the death of you. One of the most powerful and influential lords of Westeros forcing his youngest daughter to marry Queen Rhaenrya’s eldest son, Jacaerys Valeryon.

Knowing him since you were kids claimed your beating heart just a little. The thought still scared you. The idea of a loveless, political marriage was terrifying. Especially with a man you haven’t seen in 7 years.

“We’re almost to Kings landing, My Lady.” Your maid and friend, Abby, said. “Are you excited? I remember when we were younger you were so in love with him and the idea of becoming queen.”

She was right. The idea of Jacaerys and being queen was enticing, but your father’s words were causing a little apprehension to say the least.

“I don’t know.” You spoke softly, as though you were trying not to wake a bear, “I remember him being kind, but it’s been so long. What if he’s changed? What if he’s become as power hungry like most other men.”

“I choose to believe Rhaenrya would rather die then let that happen.” Abby said. She was amazing to have around. So kind an positive even when you would start to spiral.

“I’m hoping for my sake he’s understanding. I’m so nervous I don’t know how I’ll react when I see him.” You said poking out the window. The foliage and mountains were so beautiful, covered with fog ready to claim travelers.

It reminded you of simpler, softer times.

.˳⁺⁎˚ ꒰ఎ ★ ໒꒱ ˚⁎⁺˳ .

Getting out of the carriage and up the steps to the throne room were grueling. Your father reminding you to speak kindly and be as open as possible was stressing you out and causing you to shut down even more. He could be kind, your father as you siblings loved to remind you, but he was nothing if not arrogant through and through.

The throne room was vast but smaller than you remember. Running through it and poking your finger on the swords of the iron throne (which was just as intimidating as before). Rhaenyra and Alicent smiled at you.

“Hello sweet girl” Alicent said, pulling you into a warm hug. “It’s been so long you’re so much older!” She smiled.

“Queen Alicent! I’ve missed you!” You exclaimed wrapping your arms around her. You didn’t expect to see Jacaerys right away asking the queens where he was.

“Oh Jace is on the beach with Luke training.” Rhaenyra stated. Her warm gaze on you felt nostalgic. “Heleana will show you your room and perhaps you two can take a walk to show you around.”

.˳⁺⁎˚ ꒰ఎ ★ ໒꒱ ˚⁎⁺˳ .

As you walked with Heleana, your anxiety started to lower. She spoke about how kind Jacaerys was, how much you’ll like it here and how excited he was to see you again.

“He’ll be at the feast tonight. It’s all he’s spoken to Rhaenrya about for the past couple of days!” She giggled.

“Really? I didn’t expect him to be so happy.” The thought of a man so happy to see you after so long felt you with warmth.

“Oh yes. He’s gotten bigger than he was before.” She giggled “I’m sure he’ll be able to twirl you around whilst you two dance the night away!” She let go of your hand and started to spin, while looking dreamily to the sky.

.˳⁺⁎˚ ꒰ఎ ★ ໒꒱ ˚⁎⁺˳ .

Your nerves eased through the day, talking and having tea and picking out dresses with Abby and Heleana.

“That one will bring him to his knees.” Abby giggle, referring to a beautiful pink gown with shirt sleeves and little ruffles on the bodice. You twirl thinking of dancing with Jacaerys. His arms around you as if you were the only people in the world.

“Did you hear what Lady Carrie said?” Abby spoke as she massaged shampoo through your hair. “She was speaking to one of the Tyrell boys and how she planned to dance with him.” You gasp. The idea of Lady Carrie and him was odd. Especially with how rough he looked. “I don’t think he deserves her though.”

The night went on with gossip and preparing for the grand meal. You tried to pay attention but ever mention of Jacaerys made you both freeze up and go stiff but also become excited in ways you could hardly contain. The idea of him and you being bound together scared you. But you’re hair tied up and flowers woven through out, your makeup in light pink shades and in your beautiful pink dress, you knew you at least looked your best.

Walking into the dining room all eyes were on you. Especially Jacaerys’.

.˳⁺⁎˚ ꒰ఎ ★ ໒꒱ ˚⁎⁺˳ .

Sorry if this is so short! The future chapters will be longer but I just wanted to get this one out!

#jacaerys x reader #jacaerys velaryon x reader #prince jacaerys #jacaerys strong #jacerys velaryon #jace velaryon #jacaerys targaryen #rhaenicent #heleana targaryen #hotd jacaerys #hotd fic #jacaerys velaryon smut #jacaerys x you #jacaerys fic

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pinkpigtailsprincess · 2 months

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HI ANY TIPS ON BEING THE NEW KID AT A NEW SCHOOL

GENERALLY GETTING ANXIETY ATTACKS LOL

ALSO I LOVE YR BLOG SMM

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Doll tips! ; Being the New Kid!! 🎀⭐️

Tip #1 ; Taking a Breath now speaking from experience being the new kid at school is very nerve racking ik ive done it so many times and just sitting back and just breathing snd relaxing can definitely help just calm you down!!

Tip #2 ; Making a Good Impression!! now for this one i not saying you have to be the most outgoing person ever bc it can be overwhelming especially if you have social anxiety or you just have trouble with interacting!! but definitely being as polite as possible can definitely help you in the long run!!! ⭐️

Tip #3 ; Don’t be afraid to introduce yourself

now since you are new to the school you may or may not have to introduce yourself and ik how nerve racking this can be but doing a simple “Hi! I’m _” is really good if you don’t wish to speak then a simple smile and wave is also just as good!!!

Tip #4 ; Recruiting Friends!!

if you wanna be friends with a particular person try going up to them and saying hi to them also helping people with something is a way to get to know a person or having desk/table mates is like a gold mine for making friends with people !!!

Tip #5 ; Not Everyone is a nice person

if you can tell someone is a mean person stay away from them have little to no contact with this person its will save you all the energy and time because people like this can be extremely draining trust ik that!

Tip #6 ; Be nice but don’t be a pushover

obviously being nice is ESSENTIAL but never let someone cross your boundaries or disrespect you call them out on it don’t make a huge scene obviously but definitely let them know that you’re setting a boundary and if they cross again then cut this person off because obviously they don’t respect your boundaries!!

Tip #7 ; Don’t be a Bystander!!

if you see someone getting bullied say something about it,defend them or just ask them if they’re okay being a bystander to the problem makes you part of the problem as well!!!

Tip #8 ; Don’t let others bring you down

again with making boundaries never let someone cross you or make snarky remarks call them out on it and remember this person words obviously don’t matter what other people say doesn’t define you

Tip #9 ; Join a Club!!

joining a club can be an amazing way to make friends while also doing something you enjoy and over all its just an amazing activity!!

Tip #10 ; Don’t overshare!!!

unless you genuinely trust a person don’t overshare because people switch up and anything you say can and will be used against you!

Tip #11 ; Have Main Character mindset

even if you have zero confidence fake it till you make it!! walk with good posture and some pep in ur step!!🎀

Tip #12 ; If u have a group assignment don’t do all the work

omg i can’t stress this enough only do your part if someone is failing to do their part don’t do it for them let them fail thats their own fault

Tip #13 ; Being popular isn’t everything!

social hierarchy in high school or middle school (idk what grade ur in im sorry!!) is so bleak okay being popular isn’t everything i mean sure by some chance you’ll be popular but still you don’t HAVE to fit in because ur made to stand out

Tip #14 ; Channel ur inner Elle Woods & Cher Horowitz

* apply ur self in ur academics

* if you need help ask its not a bad thing to need help!!

* Make an Organizer to stay in top of ur work!!

* STUDY!! STUDY!! STUDY!!

* if you have an assignment with a rubric read it carefully to ensure you can get the highest grade possible!!

* if you unhappy with your grade or feel like you should’ve gotten a better one ask your teacher to review!!!

* wear cute clothes and style ur hair neatly not to for the lookism esque obviously but looking ur best and feeling your best are definitely good ways to feel better!!! 🎀⭐️

* have a “what? like its hard?” mindset

* Don’t Judge!!

* Pursue ur dreams!!

* Don’t be afraid of a challenge

* Be yourself!!

Tip #15 ; Don’t Leave people out!!!

say ur in a group setting and you see one particular person being left out and not getting their chance to speak make them feel welcome ask them about what they were gonna say and include them into the conversation!!!

Tip #16 ; Eat what makes you happy and don’t yuck someones yum

if someone has a cultural dish for their lunch DON’T EVER make them feel bad about it don’t care what it is that loser behavior! also eat the kind of food that makes you feel good inside and that nourishes your body i definitely suggest packing a lunch the night before!!!

Tip #17 ; Don’t hang around Slackers!!

be friends with people that actually apply themselves in their academic and working for what they want!!!

I love you anon i hope you do AMAZING at ur new school!!! 🎀⭐️

#the advice column with dolly 🎀⭐️#it girl #wonyoungism #self care #self improvement #self love #elle woods #cher horowitz #dream girl #pink pilates princess #dollygirl #dolly #2sweet2eat🎀🧁#girl blog aesthetic #girl blogging

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st4r-wh0r3 · 10 months

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Punkflower ⭐

Inspired by @roughscribs on here 🫶🏾

High school AU

ignore any grammar mistakes pls i dont understand commas 😭

“I’m absolutely not doing that!”

“But why not!? He’s so obviously obsessed with you!”

Miles looked at Gwen with the coldest side eye he could muster at the moment. Walking towards his desk chair he slumped down and sighed frustrated. How could she be so sure of something that wasn’t even remotely simple!? I wasn’t like this was a crush on some random girl in his class. This was a crush on Hobie. Fucking. Brown. The coolest guy he knows!

Miles spins his chair away from her,“No! Nope! Absolutely not!”

“You don’t see the way he looks at you dude!” Gwen spins him back around to face her. “Hobie looks at you like you're the sun, moon, and all the stars. Hobie looks at you like he prays to you every night.” Miles just shakes his head and forces himself back around.

“If what you're saying was even close to the truth-”

“It is.”

“IF it was what makes you think writing him a fucking love letter would be a good idea?” Gwen dramatically flops on the bed, hand landing on her forehead, eyes closing. “Imagine, you put the most heartfelt, tooth rotting, stomach turning letter on his desk and after school he runs up to you and kisses you like you are the oxygen he so desperately needs.” She turns to face him and is met with the most disgusted and disappointed face she's ever seen.

She can’t help but start barking out a laugh, gripping her stomach as she rolls around his bed. Miles rolls his eyes and kicks her. “See! Even you think it’s dumb!”

“No I swear I really do think it's good!” She proclaims sitting up quickly.

“Even if it’s a little corny and cliche I’m sure Hobie will love it dude!” Gwen looks at him with true sincerity. Miles looks back at her looking for any indication that she’s messing with him. Once he finds none he sighs, glancing at his notebook.

“Do you really think he would like it? I mean what if he doesn’t like me like that?”

“I promise you he will.”

Miles pauses and thinks about his options here. He could 1.) write Hobie some romantic ass letter to confess his feelings, or 2.) don’t say anything and live with the knowledge that Hobie would never truly know how he felt. Either way he would be beyond stressed.

He eventually huffs for the thousandth time and slowly nods his head.

“You’re gonna do it!?” Gwen jumps off of the bed filled with pure joy. He looks back to her slightly laughing at her excitement. She grabs Miles' shoulders and shakes him harshly. “This is so amazing! I thought you were never gonna tell him!”

“Well if I’m gonna be stressed I might as well be stressed and have my feelings be out there.”

She snickers and releases the others shoulders, staring him down, “I’m really really glad you decided to tell him how you feel.” Miles slightly shoves her in response.

“You're only saying that because you’re tired of hearing about him.”

Gwen chuckles and shoves him back. “No! I’m genuinely happy that you can get this off your chest. I think this will be really good for you.”

He smiles up at Gwen and pulls her down into a hug. “Thank you Gwen.”, he whispers to her. All she does is hold him tighter. They stayed like that until Gwen glanced at her watch and saw the time.

“Oh shoot, I have to go! I have a study session with Margo in like ten minutes!” Gwen quickly goes to retrieve her bag, rushing to get out the door.

“Bye Miles! Tell me how the letter goes!”, and with that she was gone.

He shakes his head at his friend. That girl could never be on time.

Slowly he looks back at his notebook. He can already feel the anxiety creeping its way up into his stomach. So much could go wrong with this and the worst one would be getting rejected.

Miles and Hobie had been friends since freshman year when Gwen introduced them. It was almost an immediate connection between the two, even though they were so different. They would be clinging to each other everyday, hanging out in Mile’s dorm when Ganke wasn’t around, tagging abandoned buildings, going out to dinner, ect. So Gwen wasn’t surprised when Miles told her he liked Hobie.

Coincidentally around that same time Hobie started to be more excessive with touching Miles (not that he minded). A constant arm around his shoulders became a normal thing very quickly. Soon followed by random shoulder messages, hand holding, and other passing touches. It drove Miles insane knowing that Hobie was just doing this as his friend. He wanted it to mean more so bad.

Hopefully he would achieve that with writing this letter (even though he wasn’t very hopeful).

Dragging a hand down his face he picks up the pen and notebook, moving them to the middle of the desk. He cannot believe he’s actually doing this, Uncle Aaron would be so disappointed. Miles was gonna have to text him about this later.

Shaking his thoughts away he finally picks up the pen and starts writing.

—--------------Next Day—-----------

To say he was nervous is an understatement.

Miles was shaking so much he could barely hold his extra notebooks. Including a graffitied envelope with Hobie’s name on it on top of the stack.

Walking to his first period class Miles tried to take deep breaths to slow down his mind. It wasn’t like he was putting his relationship with one of his closest friends on the line or anything.

……….

Oh he was gonna pass out at least once today.

How could he possibly have agreed to this!? There was no way that this was gonna end well. Knowing Hobie even if he didn’t like him back nothing would change but, Miles would have to live with the fact that his feelings weren’t mutual.

That thought alone made the pit in his stomach grow even wider.

Being too wrapped up in his thoughts Miles forgot that today was Thursday, meaning his first period was with Hobie. He also failed to acknowledge that Hobie was walking towards him, a mischievous smirk resting on his face.

“Oi! Miles!”

He quickly glanced up at his name. His eyes immediately met the others.

“Heyyyy Hobie….”, Miles winced at the shake in his voice.

Once Hobie had reached him he wrapped his arm around Mile’s shoulder looking down at the other’s anxious face. He couldn’t help but notice how shaky the boy was.

“You doin’ okay there? You looked really zoned out jus’ now”, he commented raising his eyebrow.

“Yeahhhhh I’m just nervous for…”, Miles’ mind couldn’t even think of a good excuse as it was too focused on the arm wrapped around him. “..For…..yeah.”, He decided that his silence was better than making up some obvious lie.

Hobie’s eyebrow raised even more at the silence. He looked over the boy again looking for a real answer. In his search he noticed the graffitied letter. This just made him even more confused that he already was.

“Watchu got there Miles?”, Hobie asked with genuine curiosity.

Miles froze in his spot, eyes going wide. Hobie looked back at the boy, noticing his sudden stillness. He glanced back down at the letter, his head reeling in what it could possibly be.

Then it clicked.

His face suddenly broke out into a grin. He removed his hand from his pocket and reached to grab the letter.

Miles finally breaking out of his trance, noticed the movement and snatched it hiding it behind his back. He nervously smiled up at Hobie, deciding that he probably couldn’t get a coherent sentence out even if he tried.

Undeterred, Hobie smiled back and moved his face closer to Miles. His arm that was previously wrapped around his shoulder sliding down to meet Miles' chin pulling his head up even more. “Is that a love letter?”, He teased. Smiling like a mad man.

Miles thought he was actually going to pass out. His face felt like an oven and he could already feel the shaking intensifying ten fold.

“No!”, He said with a shakier voice than he would’ve liked. “This is just- umm- a homework assignment that I need to turn in today!”

He mentally rolled his eyes at his own excuse. Homework? Really?

Hobie just chuckled at the blatant lie, releasing the other from his grasp. Turning to continue to their class before they were late. Still in shock Miles took a moment to follow the other.

The two continued to walk in silence together, taking glances at each other when they could. When they finally arrived at their class Hobie stepped in front of the door blocking Miles from getting in.

“What are you doing man?” Confusion seeping its way onto Miles face.

Hobie ignored his question, instead opting to lean into the others' space just as he did earlier. Looking him dead in the eye as he began to speak.

“When you want to give me that letter….” He paused to admire the panic wash over the shorter’s features.

“You can just leave it in my locker.”

With that Hobie walked into the classroom, leaving Miles at the door to process what the fuck just happened.

#atsv #atsv hobie #hobie brown #punkflower #high school au #miles morales #atsv miles #atsv gwen #love letters #oneshot #mutual pining #across the spiderverse #im not british so i apologize in advance

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robinhobiii · 4 months

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I Love Boo More

Fiancé! Seungkwan

He’s still your best friend but he’s now your fiancé.

Part I, Part III

Seungkwan knew that he loved her the moment he laid eyes on her. So why was it difficult to tell the love of his life to marry him? He’s confident about most things but right now he was so nervous. He needed to come up with a plan. He deployed his 12 friends for the job. It can’t possibly go bad, right?

He likes to think he knows Y/n the best. He knows her favorite make up brands, and her favorite boba order. Ooh and her love for anything cute. But why can’t he figure out how to do this proposal?!

How will he plan it out?

How does she want it?

Will it be romantic enough?

Will she laugh?

Ugh!!

Seungkwan huffs out before dialing Chan.

“Meet me at our usual spot and tell the others as well. ”

. . .

The “usual spot” was actually Seokmin’s and Soonyoung’s place. The two boys often let all the boys hang out there since they have the biggest apartment amongst all their friends.

“So, what’s got you all twisted?” Chan said as he stuffed his face with fries and cheese burger that Mingyu brought.

“I can’t think of a single good way to propose to y/n.” Seungkwan whined out.

“Why are you stressing? It’ll come naturally kwan-ah. Don’t fret over it.” Joshua said as he sipped his cola.

This caused Seungkwan to glare at him before he said, “You sweated through two shirts before even asking noona to be your wife. I don’t want to hear anything from you.”

Joshua choked a bit before everyone started laughing. “You’re so annoying.” Joshua muttered.

“Anyways, how do you want it to go?” Jun asked genuinely.

“I don’t know yet. I don’t know if I want a fancy restaurant or romantic beach date or late night walk or dinner with-“

“Dinner with friends!” Jeonghan said excitedly.

“Wha..t”

“Look, we’ll have a get together somewhere. Then one of our girlfriends can distract her while we set up. Then boom! You ask her the million dollar question.” Jeonghan finished with a proud smile.

“Hyung. . . That’s a great idea! I should’ve thought of that.” Seungkwan said as he let out a sigh of relief.

Jeonghan put his hand on Seungkwan’s shoulder and said “Don’t worry about anything. You just get the ring and practice your speech to her. It’s okay to be a little nervous because it’s big step. But all your hyungs will be there, so don’t worry.”

“Thanks hyung. I really appreciate all of you guys..”

“Ooh so when he says “don’t worry” it’s fine but when I say it, I’m antagonizing you.” Joshua huffed.

Everyone bursted out laughing and Seungkwan pulled him in for a hug. A little smiled peaked out of Joshua’s lips.

. . .

He was so nervous.

It’s been weeks since their little hangout and he’s prepared so much with them. They rehearsed and rehearsed everything to make sure it was fool proof.

Currently they were at cheol’s beach house and were playing by the beach.

The propose was set to take place during sunset.

Seungkwan felt like his whole body was going to explode from anxiety and excitement.

“Why do you look like you’re about to crap yourself?” Y/n said.

“No I don’t!” Seungkwan said offendedly. He pouted as he looked at her.

“How could you say that to your handsome boyfriend?”

She snorted slightly. “Because it’s true kwannie. I’ve never seen that face before”

“So you concluded that I need to take a crap??!”

She laughed as she gently hit him. He smiled fondly at her before they were interrupted.

“Hate to break you two love birds up, but we’re starting beach volleyball. Boys vs girls” Seungcheol’s wife says.

. . .

They played for a while and the girls ended up winning. The girls cheered as the went to the other side of the beach to collect more shells.

The plan was totally working as all the girls all have y/n distracted.

“Go! Go! Go!” Dokyeom whisper yelled as he finally saw that they were in the clear.

The boys helped set up everything. From the sign, to the beautiful petals that’s covered the floor of the beach towel. Seungkwan was getting nervous again.

“H-hyung, I’m not ready. What if I mess up? What if I embarrass myself? What if she leaves me for being stupid?!”

Seungcheol gripped his shoulder to help ground Seungkwan.

“Look, we’ve already came this far, so don’t back out. She’s your girlfriend and she’s loved you through everything. A little stutter won’t steer her away. Believe in yourself and in her.”

Seungkwan nodded as they all waited patiently for the girls to come back.

. . .

It was currently 7:56 pm and the sun casted a beautiful orange glow to the sky. The girls will be coming back in approximately 5 minutes as Joshua’s wife texted them.

Seungkwan heard her beautiful laugh as they were coming closer. The boys got into place as the girls guide her to the proposal area.

It was beautifully decorated with her favorite flowers and favorite colored balloons.

Jeonghan’s wife guided her to the middle to stand there. Seungkwan stood behind y/n and waited for Jeonghan’s wife to queue y/n.

“Turn around” she says to Y/n.

Y/n turns around around and sees Seungkwan on one knee. She gasps and placed her hands over her mouth in shock.

“My beautiful y/n. You’ve always made me feel so wanted and loved. I love waking up to you and your beautiful presence. When I first met you when we were just teenagers, I knew that you were the one for me. You always lifted me up when I was down.You’ve made me the happiest man just by your smile.No words could ever repay the love and affection you’ve given me. But I can think of four words that can express my love for you.

Will you marry me?”

. . .

She hugged him tightly and repeatedly said yes.

“I will!”

He gave her a kiss as he gently slipped the ring on.

“You’ve truly made me the happiest man on the planet, my love”

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moonstruckme · 16 days

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Okay sorry I don’t want to burden anyone I know irl so rant below ! Cw for anxiety maybe? Please feel no need to read, everything is fine in my part of the world :)

I’m graduating on Saturday and that’s already more scary than exciting unfortunately, but a couple of days ago I got turned down for the only position I wanted in the city I live in now, so I’ll officially be moving away at the end of the summer. The thing is, I have no idea where !! I’ve always wanted to move out of my home state so it was never the plan to stay here, but there was a weird sense of comfort in the idea that I could potentially just stay where I am right now, continue to hang out with my friends who are doing grad school, kinda sorta pretend to just still be in college for another year or so. Which maybe wasn’t the best idea, but the familiarity was like a security blanket. Now, I cannot stop thinking about how I have no idea what I’m going to do.

I really hoped I’d have a job lined up by now, but as it stands it seems like I’m going to be working 3 jobs until my lease ends in August and after that I have no clue where I’m going. Jobs in my industry are worryingly scant and while I’m trying to make my peace with working in like a coffee shop or a bookstore or something (which I think I would be perfectly content with, at least for a while) the amount of decisions that leaves me with is stressing me out so bad. I have to figure out where I want to live, get a job there, go and find an apartment with some roommates, make all new friends, etc, etc. I’m terrified.

I have literally one friend who isn’t going on to some kind of higher education and she’s already gotten her dream job after applying to two (2) places, and I’m genuinely happy for her but it makes me feel like such a failure that I’ve applied to dozens and not even gotten an interview. I want so badly to just do something I care about but I feel like soon I’m going to have to settle for whatever pays rent. I keep telling myself that that’s fine, because plenty of people live that way and I’m sure that so long as I keep writing and have some good people in my life I’ll be happy, but it’s so so scary to know that in a couple of months I’ll be leaving all my friends and family behind but have no idea where I’ll be going.

I’m really not trying to whine, I know that I’ve been extremely lucky to go to college and enjoy barely paying for anything the last few years (I have a scholarship that pays for most of my rent and my parents help me with grocery money). There are genuinely awful things happening all over the world right now, and I live in a country that affords me a good amount of safety and have parents who I know would step in to help me if I were literally starving. I’m just sort of coming to terms with this being the first time in my life that I’m completely on my own. I’m confident that I can find something to keep myself alive, but I’ve been very lucky to have great friends and a very contented life so far, and I’m both grateful for that and terrified it’s going to end soon.

I can sort of feel myself on the edge of a wee breakdown and that really cannot happen right now because my family and my long-distance bestie get here tomorrow for graduation so I’m going to have to be very smiley and confident for at least the next few days ! And anyone I shared this with would be taking on the burden of feeling some kind of guilt, which of course I don’t want to put on anyone. So yeah. Sorry to do this here, but I really felt like I had to externalize this somehow and you guys are my unfortunate victims!

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sparrowofthedawnsworld · 2 years

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Disruptive Thoughts - Danny Wagner

A/N: I don’t really know what this is lmao. I mean… I guess i’m kinda projecting, because this is one of my personal struggles, but I’m also just desperately trying to get out of writers block lol. I hope y’all enjoy! I love you all SO MUCH!

WARNINGS: 18+ content! Minors please DNI! Danny being sweet af, mild dirty talk, fingering, lots of praise.

Masterlist

••••

You couldn’t wrap your mind around why it had to be so difficult. All your friends raved on and on about how wonderful sex was for them… How well their partners could get them off… But not you.

Intrusive thought after intrusive thought, always managed to rip you away from the moment. No matter how grounded or focused you tried to stay, something always found a way to have your mind pulling in a million different directions.

It had become such a stressful thing for you, that even getting yourself to orgasm alone was becoming difficult. It was no longer just intrusive thoughts here and there, it was full on anxiety. You had almost completely convinced yourself that you couldn’t have an orgasm anymore.

“God, that sounds amazing.” You tried to sound genuine, listening to your best friend babble on about last night’s hookup with Jake Kiszka - One of three, of your roommate Danny’s best friends.

“You sound incredibly underwhelmed right now, Y/N.” She pointed, stopping her whole story. “What’s wrong?”

You looked around to be sure Danny wasn’t anywhere to be seen, before you began to speak again.

“I don’t know it’s just… I don’t know. I think i’m fucking broken or something,” you sighed, feeling your chest tighten. “I can’t even get off with a partner. Hell, I can hardly even get off on my own at this point!”

“You should ask Danny for help,” she suggested, complete seriousness in her tone.

“Are you insane?? I’m not asking Danny for help with that!” You were definitely talking much too loud for the thin walls of your apartment and karma was quick to remind you of that.

“Help you with what!?” Danny whisper-yelled with a goofy grin, pretending to sneak his way through the living room to the kitchen.

His sudden presence had you practically jumping up to the ceiling, your face burning and going a deep crimson.

Luckily for you, Danny just laughed it off and continued on into the kitchen.

“Was that Danny?” She cackled through the phone. “What a coincidence!”

“Oh, shut up.” You huffed, glancing up towards the kitchen door to ensure that Danny wasn’t eavesdropping.

He would never, but your mind loved to try and convince your otherwise.

“I’m gonna go… And hope that Danny didn’t hear anything major.”

“I hope he did,” she giggled. “Bye, then, babe! I love you,”

Your eyes rolled rather dramatically. “Mhm, I love you, too..”

You heard her laugh once more at your halfhearted, almost sarcastic, tone before she hung up.

Staring straight at the wall with a blank expression, your mind drifted off and continued to think about all your sexual struggles.

Also, mulling over what your best friend had suggested. You had no intentions of asking Danny; your pride having too much of a death grip on you.

However, if you ever did suck it up and decide to ask for help… Danny didn’t seem like a bad choice. At all.

The sound of the kitchen door swinging open broke you out of your trance.

“You’re awfully jumpy,” Danny chuckled, eyes dancing with amusement and curiosity. “What don’t you want to ask me for help with?”

“Well, if I haven’t asked you, then obviously I don’t want you to know…” You played with your fingers, barely even holding his stare for a second.

“You’re fidgeting and playing with your rings,” Danny pointed at your hands, taking notice of your little tick.

Damn him for being so attentive.

“That means whatever it is, is stressing you out.”

You immediately grew defensive. “It’s not stressing me out. Really, it’s just-“

“Y/N… Don’t lie to me,” Danny raised his eyebrows at you, giving you a look that clearly told you he wasn’t buying anything you were saying. “You always tell me everything.”

“I feel like this isn’t one of those things I can tell you…” You admitted, looking up at him weakly.

He sighed, walking over to the couch and sitting down right beside you.

“You know good and well I don’t give a shit what it is. I will help you with absolutely anything and everything.” Danny tried reassure you, not even realizing what he was getting possibly into.

“I wouldn’t say anythi-“

“Yes, Y/N.” He quickly cut you off. “Anything.”

You huffed, coming to terms with the fact that he was not going to let this go. Or be anywhere close to satisfied, unless you told him what was really bothering you. He cared too much for you to let you suffer alone.

“Okay, uhm…” you trailed off into silence, mind racing to find proper phrasing and words for what you were about to say. “When i… Every guy i’ve ever been with, hasn’t ever gotten me off. It’s not always been their fault, I just sort of get in my head…? And now it’s at a point where I just get so anxious, because I can’t stay focused and I have convinced myself that I can’t even get off anymore. I can’t even get myself off hardly…”

You finished rambling, barely even taking breaths to refill your lungs in between sentences and mumbled words.

Chancing a quick glance up at Danny, your face twisted in confusion at how unfazed he appeared to be.

“Sooo, what I’m hearing is… You have trouble staying focused, or staying in the moment…?” Danny clarified cooly.

You nodded once. “Yeah.”

“And you want me to help you?” Danny’s lips curved upwards at one end as he watched your face contort in horror.

“No, no, no! I- you don’t…” you stumbled over your words. Flustered was truly an understatement. “I’m just- I’m just telling you what was wrong, you don’t have to actually… help me.”

“Whoever was on the phone with you, seemed to think I would be pretty helpful.” Danny countered confidently.

You couldn’t tell if he was teasing, or being completely serious. It was probably both, if you were being completely honest with yourself.

“Danny, you can’t… I can’t ask you to do that.” You shook your head, hoping he would just let it go.

“But you’re not asking. I’m offering,” Danny pointed out smugly. There was clearly going to be no ‘letting it go.’

“But of course, it’s up to you,” Danny held up his hands, surrendering and leaving the decision completely up to you. “If you really don’t want to, I will just pretend this whole conversation never happened.”

Now that you were really thinking about it, even though part of you feared it may do something to your friendship - It didn’t sound nearly as horrific as you initially thought.

Danny sat quietly, patiently awaiting you to give him some sort of answer.

All the smugness and mischief was completely gone, being replaced with a serious and attentive expression.

“Will it… will it make things weird or like, change anything if I say yes?” You were barely able to get your voice up to a normal speaking level.

“It doesn’t have to,” Danny shook his head, gently reaching for one of your fidgeting hands. “We’re not kids, Y/N. And personally, I can’t say i’ve never given being with you a thought. I definitely have a time or two.”

Danny’s admission surprisingly put some ease to your raging thoughts, clearing up some of the grey areas you were struggling to see past.

You wanted this… You wanted him. You were sure of that.

But, having not much else to worry about, brought you right back to your original problem.

“What if can’t…” you trailed off and within seconds, you felt Danny squeeze you hand softly as he caught on to what you were trying to say.

“Look at me,” He demanded, gently but firmly. A skill not many people possessed quite the way he did.

You met his eyes shyly and he gave you a small, comforting, smile before continuing.

“Let’s not necessarily make having an orgasm the main goal, okay? If you stress on that, it won’t happen. Or at least… it will make it a lot harder.” Danny explained. “Let’s put the focus elsewhere… But first, I need you to tell me that this is what you want.”

“This is definitely what I want. I trust you,” You were honestly a bit surprised at how sure and confident you sounded.

Danny tightened his grip on your hand ever so slightly and tugged you into his lap carefully.

“I just want you to focus on feeling first, okay?” Danny searched your eyes for any remaining hesitation.

You nodded your understanding, willing him to continue.

Danny let go of your hand, trailing it up your arm slowly. You tilted your head down to watch as it traveled higher and higher.

“There’s so much more pleasure to sex than just an orgasm. That alone should never be the only pleasure you get out of it…” He watched his own hand trail over your shoulder, eyes shifting to your face as his hand reached your neck.

Danny lightly traced his fingertips over the side of your neck, making you shiver.

“See? You feel that. Don’t think about anything but what my hand is doing and how it feels.” Danny spoke lowly. His gentle command had your stomach twisting with desire.

Trailing a calloused fingertip along your jaw, his thumb curled up to catch your bottom lip. He toyed with it for a moment, a breathy sigh shaking out of you and he smirked.

“Kiss me,” you breathed, an overwhelming rush of eagerness and need surging through you as you stared down at his pink lips. “Please, Danny.”

“Shhh, there’s no rush, dove.” Danny tried bring you down a step or two.

You were about to protest, but he spoke up again before you could even find the words.

“But since you asked so nicely…”

Danny leaned up, closing the remaining space left between the two of you. His lips felt like pillows against yours; so gentle and careful, so guiding.

You melted into the kiss right away, finding the confidence to bring your arms up and around his neck to tug him closer.

One of his hands found its way into your hair, the other staying on the side of your neck. Every so often his thumb would caress just by your ear, or his other would tug gently at your hair.

Your own hands stayed occupied around Danny’s neck, one holding the collar of his shirt, the other playing with the curls that had fallen out of his bun.

Danny broke away to catch his breath, his eyes significantly darker than before.

Your stomach flipped as a small smile formed over his mouth. He nudged your face to the side with his nose, placing gentle kisses to your jaw and mumbling against your skin.

“My room or yours?”

You thought it over for a second, brain half distracted by the attention Danny’s lips were giving you.

After a moment or two, you muttered a quick “Yours.”

With that, Danny hauled you up in his arms as he stood to his feet and carried you down the hallway.

“You’re so gorgeous, have I ever told you that?” Danny smiled at you warmly, his voice even lower than just moments ago. He kicked the door of his bedroom open haphazardly.

You giggled and blushed profusely, tempted to hide your face away in the crook of his neck. “Mmm, no. Not that I can recall, you haven’t.”

He huffed lightly, trying to kick the door closed with one leg, only sending you further into giddy, nervous-sounding giggles.

“Well… you’re gorgeous. So, so gorgeous.” Danny whispered, finally making his way over to the bed. “And I’ve always thought so.”

He bent down, placing you onto his bed as though you were a fragile, priceless, piece of art. No one had ever been so careful with you.

“Now. Where were we…?” Danny mumbled more to himself, climbing over top of you. “Oh, right.”

Danny reconnected his lips with yours, kissing you with a little more urgency than before.

Your hands came up to his face, holding each side of his jaw. One of his hands found your hip, caressing it while his other forearm held him up above you.

“God, if I had known kissing you would be this good, I would have done it a lot sooner.” Danny admitted through a low, breathy, laugh. “Like.. way sooner.”

The unwavering smile on your lips widened even more, that same eagerness and impatience from earlier settled back in, causing you to shift beneath him.

You were a little bit surprised at the effect that he was already having on you. “I need more, Danny,”

“You’ll get more, I promise. Just relax for me.” He dipped his head down, kissing just below your ear, repeating himself lowly. “Just relax.”

He began leaving wet, slow kisses along your neck, searching diligently for a sweet spot to lovingly abuse.

When a quiet whimper caught in your throat, you could feel him smile against your neck.

“Let’s use this spot, shall we?” Danny pulled away to meet your eyes.

Danny went right back to the spot he’d found on your neck, just to left of your throat, attacking it mercilessly.

You didn’t hold back the soft moan that worked its way up your throat, accompanied by a dull pulse forming between your legs.

Danny worked his way down your chest, until the edge of your tank top stopped him from getting any farther.

Instead of rushing to get the material off, he began kissing his way back up the other side of your neck.

You huffed rather impatiently, knowing good and well you sounded like a baby. “Danny, you’re being a tease,”

A genuine laugh bubbled out of Danny and he pulled away to look at you, an amused grin plastered over his face.

“I’m not teasing,” he protested through a low chuckle. “I’m just taking my time. Has no one ever taken their sweet time with you?”

His question had a teasing edge. He knew good and well what the answer was.

Danny returned his attention to your neck, finishing his track until he was kissing over your cheek, finally reconnecting his lips with yours.

This kiss was far more intense than the last. It made you wonder how long he would really be able to “take his time”.

He pulled away and sat back slowly, raking his eyes over your upper body, breathing ragged and shallow.

“Please, take this off,” you grabbed his hands and placed them on the hem of your shirt, feeing unbearably hot under his gaze.

“You’re so bossy,” he teased, but still complied without another word.

You sat up just enough for him to pull the thin material over your head. Once your tank top was gone, Danny pulled off his own and pushed you back down against the bed by your shoulder, marveling at your bare chest.

You picked the best fucking day not to wear a bra. You knew that for sure.

“Fuck, look at you…” Danny cupped each of your breasts in his hands, massaging them. “Fucking stunning. Perfect, even.”

“Mmm,” you hummed, closing your eyes at the feeling of Danny’s hands.

“That feels good, doesn’t it, sweetheart?” Danny cooed, very much proud of himself. He was sure he would do absolutely anything to hear the sounds you make, over and over.

He took one of your nipples in between his thumb and pointer finger, pinching it rather harshly just as you were about to answer him.

“Oh, fuck-“ You gasped, back arching and shoving your tits further into his hands.

“You sound so fucking pretty,” Danny repeated the action with the other, earning almost the same reaction. “How are you feeling right now, baby?”

His little check in made your heart swell and truthfully, you had yet to have an intrusive thought that you couldn’t push away. They were still there, but following Danny’s instructions so far, was keeping you pretty much fully in the moment with him.

“I’m feeling so good..” You smiled up at him and he flashed his beautiful smile right back.

“I think we can go a little further, then. What do you think, Y/N?”

Danny leaned down, taking one of your nipples into his mouth.

This boy and not waiting for you to answer before he was trying to coax another sweet moan out of you.

“Fu- fuck, will you let me answer you??” you questioned half playfully through another moan.

“Sorry, I just love all these pretty noises you’re making for me.” Danny grinned, abandoning your breasts and venturing down your stomach. “I bet i’m the only one who’s been able to get you sounding like this..”

You completely forgot what question you were even supposed to be answering, bucking up against his lips as his gentle kisses reached your lower belly and hips.

“So eager,” he nipped at the skin above your sweatpants, running his hands over the tops of your thighs.

“You want these off already, too?”

“Is that even a question?” you raised your brows at him, locking eyes as he peered up through his lashes.

Danny hooked his hands in the waistband of your sweatpants, using one finger to tap against your hip bone. You caught on to his signal, lifting your hips away from the sheets.

“Shit…” Danny’s eyes widened, fixed between your legs.

“What??” You asked a little too quickly, panic laced in your voice.

Your mind started to spin and your legs instinctively closed, closing Danny off from you.

He quickly realized what was happening and began trying to calm you and bring you back to him.

“Hey, hey,” Danny called for your attention softly. “Nothing is wrong at all, you’re so perfect… You’re just so wet already and I… fuck, I want to feel it.”

With an explanation behind his reaction, it made a lot more sense and now you felt horrible for freaking out.

You let out a shaky sigh, trying to bring your mind back to where it was supposed to be.

“Can you look at me, gorgeous?” Danny found one of your hands, intertwining it with his.

You looked up to meet his eyes and instantly, you wanted to melt right into his bed. His eyes were so warm and soft, despite them being tinted with lust. He was looking at you with all the desire and patience in the world.

“There’s those pretty eyes,” Danny smiled down at you, causing you to blush once again.

His other hand touched the inside of your knee, dragging up your inner thigh until he reached where you were dripping for him. He traced teasingly over the wet spot that had formed on your panties. “Feel that? Right here?”

“Danny,” his name tumbled off your lips in a whiny, breathy way, that almost didn’t even sound like you.

“So eager you soaked them through,” Danny teased before becoming serious again. “Here’s what I want you to do now, okay? I want you focus on not only what you feel, but close your eyes and listen to my voice.”

“Got it,” your reply was barely above a whisper. “Listen and feel. I can do that.”

“Yes, you can,” Danny affirmed, giving you one last questioning look as he hooked his thumbs into your panties.

You nodded, tugging your lip between your teeth, watching him waste no time pulling them down your legs as soon as your hips were off the mattress.

He slid them all the way down your legs, tossing them haphazardly onto the floor somewhere.

Danny eyed you for a moment, seemingly thinking something over in his mind. Your heart rate quickened, but you fought with yourself not to let your mind drift to anything irrational.

“Let’s try this-“ Danny started, moving to lay on his side next to you. He slid one of his arms under your back, cradling you close to his body; his other hand pushing your legs apart gently. “-Just gonna start slow…”

Danny’s fingers traced down your belly agonizingly slow, barely grazing your skin.

When he finally reached your heat, your breath hitched in your throat and your legs instinctively opened up wider. The anticipation he was creating was almost unbearable.

“Danny, please,” you whimpered, raising your hips up to try and find even the littlest bit of friction.

“I’m gonna take good care of you, I swear, sweetheart.”

Finally, Danny slipped a single finger through your folds, gathering some of the wetness from your entrance and bringing it up to your clit.

“Oh,” your mouth dropped open, forming the smallest little ‘o’. “Oh, fuck, Danny-“

His middle finger circled around your bud of nerves with just enough pressure.

Little whines and whimpers began to flow steadily out of you as your breathing increased.

“Yeah? That feel good, sweet girl?” Danny kept his eyes locked on you, taking in and monitoring your every sound and other physical reactions. “Your little clit just needs some sweet, steady attention, doesn’t she?”

Danny’s voice filled your ears, so raspy and gravely with lust - you didn’t ever want to stop hearing it that way.

“That feels- it feels so good,” you gasped a couple times, feeling Danny’s finger swirl over one of the sweet spots surrounding your clit.

A spot that no one else had touched, or even bothered to search for.

Danny readjusted his hand, swapping out his middle finger for his thumb, so that he could carefully push two fingers inside you.

Another moan that you were convinced didn’t even come from your own lungs, tumbled out of you rather loudly. A sweet, yet taunting echo bouncing around the four walls of his room.

“Listen to yourself… You sound so lovely,” Danny cooed, nuzzling his face into your neck. “Believe it or not, letting out all these gorgeous noises will just help you get closer.”

He pulled in a deep breath, basking in the warm, fruity scent that you always seemed to carry.

You pushed your hips up, desperately trying to shove his fingers just a little deeper - hoping that they would nudge into that sweet spot you could feel them so close to.

After a couple tries, you began to grow a little frustrated. You were frantically searching for an orgasm that simply just wasn’t quite there yet.

Now, your brain was drifting back on a reckless path to destroy any chances of reaching one entirely.

Parts of your body started to grow tired, other parts growing stiff and tense.

Your breathing became uneven and much too labored, but you were bound and determined to chase after and catch that sweet release.

A frustrated huff of a whimper passed through your parted lips, immediately letting Danny know that you were drifting off with destructive thoughts.

“Slow down, baby, just slow down.” Danny ordered gently, soft and sweet into your ear. “You’re getting worked up on me. What’s going on in that pretty head? Try to tell me, Y/N.”

You fought through the plethora of thoughts that were cluttered up in your mind, trying to find some way to form an understandable sentence for Danny.

“Need it so- so bad, Danny… I- i need it-“ Despite how vague it seemed to you, Danny didn’t need any further elaboration. “But i can’t-“

“Stop chasing it, baby girl… Just let it come to you.” Danny said lowly into your ear.

“Let it come to you…” he reiterated.

“I can’t- I… I don’t think,” You felt yourself getting worked up with more frustration and hot tears filled the corners of your eyes, but Danny was quick to soothe you.

His fingers slowed and his thumb retreated from your clit, only keeping the slow, rhythmic, pace with his fingers.

“You’re okay. It’s okay. I promise you, you can,” He readjusted his arm that was underneath your back, pulling you as close as he could get you. “Oh, baby… You’re so tense. Relax for me, angel…”

He waited a few moments, watching you struggle to gain some control over your mind and body.

“Mmm… Yeah, let’s work together,” Danny finally spoke, gathering that the best thing would be to guide you a little. “I’m holding you, I’ve got you… Take a deep breath with me and just let those muscles go.”

You kept your eyes closed, listening intently to his voice and what he was telling you to do. You heard him start to take in a deep breath and you shakily attempted to copy him.

“Yeah, just like that… That’s perfect.” Danny praised, feeling your upper body loosen and relax against his arm.

You could feel your muscles relaxing from your shoulders, all the way down to your belly.

Pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek, Danny let out a pleased hum against it. “There you go. Now, let’s get your mind back here to me…”

You nodded, the cloudiness in your head clearing up just slightly.

“Okay. We know you’re not broken, because you’re perfectly wet for me… That’s a very good thing,” Danny couldn’t fight off the smirk that threatened his lips. “And you can feel everything, right? Can you feel this?”

Danny slowly pushed his fingers inside you as deep as they would go, curling up into that sweet spot you were trying to force them into before.

A strangled, broken, moan erupted from your lungs. What seemed like such a simple movement, had your body heating up again and a faint burn forming low in your stomach.

Danny didn’t even need you to answer with words. “Yeah, I think you felt that.” he smirked happily.

“What about this?” He added his thumb back to your clit, drawing tighter, deeper, circles into it than he had been doing previously.

A similar reaction was the result and all that you could think about now, was that knot forming in the pit of your stomach.

Except this time, you weren’t wondering where it was, or if it would ever come; you were shocked that there was an orgasm just on your horizon. Within arms reach, it felt like.

“Fuck…” You wrapped your hand around Danny’s wrist; half scared to let yourself fall into the intensity that you knew this orgasm would be, after not having one for so long. The other half of you equally afraid of losing it all together.

“Take a deep breath, let all the pleasure get through to your whole body… You’re doing so well,” Danny whispered, full of pride.

Your head lulled to the side, sending your near constant moans directly into Danny’s neck. You could feel yourself uncontrollably contracting around his fingers.

“Fuck yes, baby. You’re almost there… Almost there. You’re starting to squeeze my fingers so tight.”

Danny let out a soft groan of his own.

“Can you cum for me? I wanna see you cum so beautifully for me. Right here.”

The feeling in the pit of your stomach was familiar, but had been long missed. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt that tight little coil of pleasure.

And Danny was skillfully and methodically making it tighter and tighter.

“Danny i-“ You attempted to force something out, literally anything. But there was absolutely nothing left in your brain, besides Danny. His fingers, his voice, his scent. All of him. Just him.

“I’ve got you, baby. Let go for me, give it all up.” Danny coaxed, voice smooth as silk, aggressively shoving you towards the edge.

It felt like you were moving in slow motion towards your high and for a split second, you feared Danny would grow suddenly impatient and stop.

“Danny… Danny, don’t s-stop,” you begged him desperately. “Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop-”

“Not gonna stop, Y/N. Not gonna stop. You’re so close, baby girl,” Danny quickened the circles his thumb was making, adding just a little more pressure to your clit.

He watched you intently with hooded eyes. “C’mon, pretty. C’mon…”

With a couple more curls of his fingers and swirls of his thumb, an animalistic moan tore its way out of your lungs.

The knot of pleasure in your stomach exploded, spreading so rapidly throughout your body, your head started to spin.

“Shit, Danny… Danny, ohmygod-“

Your whole body shifted and contorted against the bed.

One of your hands stayed clasped around Danny’s wrist, your other arm flinging over to grab onto his shoulder for some sort of grounding stability.

Something to keep you from floating away from Earth.

“There it is,” Danny smiled, watching you come undone around his fingers, mesmerized by the way your body reacted and the sounds of pleasure you were releasing. “Good girl… ride it all out, sweetheart. I’m still right here.”

Danny’s fingers worked you through the last few seconds of your high, gradually slowing down as he watched your hips settle back down against the bed.

“So fucking beautiful.” Danny whispered, placing a kiss to your temple.

You felt like you were floating through a different world. A world where all that was known was that sweet, post orgasm buzz and haze.

You wanted to stay there forever. And you wanted Danny right there with you.

“Danny…?” You voice just barely squeaked and he hummed in response. “I want to... can we…”

You knew what you were trying to say, but the lack of energy in your body was definitely making it difficult to get the words out.

Thankfully, Danny already knew what you meant.

“How about in a little while, hm?” Danny asked softly, cuddling your closer. “I think you should take a little break before we try for a second.”

You didn’t stop the sigh of distaste that rippled out of you at the idea of having to wait.

“I’d rather not take your soul so soon,” Danny chuckled, sound rather cocky.

“Maybe… maybe I want you to take it,” You grinned lazily, cracking one eye open to see his face.

Danny’s eyes were closed and he was sporting the most cocky smirk you had ever seen adorn his stunning face.

“If I try to take it, you’re going to be crying and tearing these sheets apart.” He rubbed his hand along your back slowly. “Don’t worry, I’m gonna blow your pretty mind one orgasm at a time… Until I’m good and ready to take your soul and make you cry.”

A shuddering whimper fluttered out of you involuntarily, only boosting him more.

“You like the sound of that, don’t you?” Danny hummed triumphantly.

“Wagner, how do I knock you down a peg?” You jested, flicking his cheek with your finger.

“Oh, you can’t now.” He answered, matter-of-factly. “I just made the most gorgeous girl I know cum, after she couldn’t for… God knows how long. There’s no “knocking me down a peg.””

TAGLIST:

@ageofbarbarians @theweightofjake @jake-kiszkas-smirk @shutupdevvie @jordierama @positivegvfthings @doodle417 @gardensgatedaisy @gretasmokerising @asparrowofthedawn @jakekiszkasleftnutsack @greta-van-chaos @skankforjakekiszka @sarakay-gvf

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egcdeath · 1 year

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a bundle of nerves

pairing: joel miller x reader (technically part of the soccer parents au, but can 100% be read as a stand alone)

summary: when anxiety paralyzes you in the morning, joel lends you a helping hand.

word count: 1.1k

warnings: au: no apocalypse, kinda hurt/comfort, mostly comfort, fluff, joel is a big softie, kinda body worship later on, reader is very anxious and stressed, run on sentences, established relationship, no use of y/n

author’s note: i can’t believe i’m finally breaking my hiatus!! huge shoutout to @pedges who has listened to the 1000000 thoughts i’ve had over the past few days.

You were so stressed that you thought your heart might burst—but really, that was your fault. Because as stressed as you were, as much as your heart pounded so hard you could feel it in your throat, or how your hands were sweating so hard you had practically created a waterfall—you were still laying in bed, nowhere near ready to take on the day.

Joel had volunteered to take care of the majority of your shared morning duties; waking up early to make breakfast for the kids, bringing them to school, he even packed your work bag so you had one less thing to worry about that morning.

Yet, the head start he’d given you had essentially amounted to zero, as from the time he pressed a kiss to your forehead and wished you good luck, and now, as he came back into the room to grab his watch before dropping the girls off at school, you still laid in bed—wildly sprawled out across the mattress, forehead damp with sweat forcing your undone hair to stick to spots of it, and still in last night’s pajamas.

“Honey, what’s going on?” Joel asked, clearly concerned with your lack of movement and general disarray. Thinking back on your relationship, you weren’t sure that he’d ever seen you stressed to the point of you being strung out.

“I don’t think I can do it,” you confessed, barely budging from where you were laid out, not even shifting your eyes from the ceiling to your boyfriend.

“Yes, you can,” his voice changed a little bit as he sat down next to you. You finally looked over at Joel, into his soft and sympathetic eyes, and felt just a smidge of your stress fade away. “What’s got you feeling this way?”

“I don’t know…” you trailed off, finally managing to sit up so that you could lean against Joel’s steady body. “I’m scared that I’ll fuck up in front of everybody. All of my peers… all of my superiors. After everything I’ve done to get here, I don’t know if I can handle that kind of humiliation.”

Joel wrapped an arm around you as you confessed your fears to him, which only made you feel more secure in telling him your predicament. He obviously cared about what you were worried about, and seemed dead set on genuinely listening to your fears and making you feel heard.

“It’s normal to be scared, honey. But you’ve practiced in front of me more times than I can remember, and you’ve fuckin’ killed it every time,” Joel attempted to console you, giving you a gentle, yet reassuring squeeze.

“But that’s different. I’m comfortable with you, and you probably only said I was good because you have to say I’m good.”

“No, I’d be honest with you if you weren’t. I just didn’t have to be, because you impressed me every time,” he gently nudged you in a way that forced you to look him right in the eye. “You are a force to be reckoned with. They wouldn’t have asked you to do this presentation if you weren’t. You’re one of the smartest, strongest, and most charismatic people I know. You’re gonna go out there, and blow off everyone’s socks, the same way you blew off mine. Now can I help you get ready so you can look as good as you’re gonna do?”

You weren’t even sure how to respond to the praise, so you opted into awkwardly half-chuckling instead. Joel did seem to have a point though, and he said all of the right things with just enough conviction to convince you that maybe getting ready was the right thing to do.

Finally getting out of bed, you freshened yourself up in the bathroom while Joel picked out your freshly dry cleaned skirtsuit from the closet. Once he’d finally found the piece, he’d found you at the vanity, now working on touching up your hair as fast as you could. Being the sweetheart he was, Joel helped you put on your clothes while you multitasked in getting yourself more presentable.

He pressed soft kisses to your ribcage as he helped you get a bra on, peppered kisses on your neck while buttoning your blouse, and trailed his fingers on your thighs while helping you into your skirt. Not only did he make you feel good about your appearance, but made you feel thoroughly loved in the process of doing so.

With your teamwork and multitasking, you had managed to pull yourself together surprisingly quickly, with Joel on his knees helping you slip into heels to complete your outfit just as the sound of his truck’s horn honking began to ring out, a sure sign that the girls were ready to go and tired of waiting for Joel to come down.

“You’re gonna kill it today, honey. And when you get home, we’ll all do something to celebrate, yeah?” he suggested, pressing one last kiss to your knee before standing up.

“Sounds good,” you smiled to yourself, still feeling nervous about your presentation and the risks associated with messing it all up, but feeling infinitely better after Joel helped to prepare you for it, both physically and mentally. “Thank you, Joel. I don’t know if you realized the actual miracle you performed on me this morning, but I really appreciate it. I appreciate you.”

He simply smiled and bashfully shrugged, never a fan of receiving praise for the work he did. He grabbed your hand, and you followed his lead as he took you downstairs, then into the garage where he prepared to say farewell.

What you weren’t expecting was for Joel to pull you into a tight hug, pressing one last kiss into your hair as he held you.

“You’re gonna do great. Just remember that you are the fucking best. I love you,” he informed you, as if he hadn’t made it abundantly clear in every single way that morning.

“Thank you, Joel. I love you too. As much as I would love to stand here and have you tell me how great I’m gonna do, if we don’t get out of here soon, the girls are gonna be late and so will I,” you laughed softly, a warm feeling of love and adoration running through your veins.

“You have a point there,” he chuckled, finally and reluctantly pulling away from you. “Go crush it, honey.”

With him bidding you farewell, and a quick wave to the girls in the backseat of Joel’s truck, you were off to work. While your nerves were still there, you couldn’t deny that Joel’s little routine had made a huge difference on your outlook on the day.

With a smile on your face as you practiced your speech aloud to yourself in the rearview mirror, and far-less shaky hands gripping your steering wheel, you realized that maybe Joel was right.

You were going to do great.

#joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller fluff #joel miller imagine #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic

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charmedreincarnation · 8 months

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Hey charm, is it true that once you get everything in your life , you'll stop appreciating things in general, cuz you have easy access to it?

I'm not sure if I'm wording this right.pls bear with me, english is my second language.

I was questioning myself trying to understand why it's taking me so long to tap into void ,and this fear popped up.

What I want from void is to be a master manifestor ,being able to summon things out of nowhere. And once I achieve this,will I stop being grateful for things ? What if I turn into this egotistical maniac? This sounds absolutely irrational now that I'm typing it out.

Here is my thought process : the only reason I appreciate having money is because I know what it's like to be poor. The only reason I appreciate having parents who loves me unconditionally is because I know what it's like to live with abusive parents. Etc etc .so once I have everything that I want, will I stop appreciating life ? Will I lose interest in myself ?

I guess I'm over complicating things now. Idk.

Did it change the way you approach life once you entered void and got what you want ? If so how ? If other annons who entered void could answer this, that would be great too.

I absolutely love this question! It's something that I've thought about a lot, and to be honest, I believe that the law is an extension of your personality. It's all about your mindset and your approach to life. If you're kind and generous when you're struggling, you're going to be even more giving when you have wealth and abundance. On the other hand, if you're selfish and greedy when you're poor, you're likely to continue that behavior even if your financial situation changes.

I think it's important to remember that everyone is different, and we all have our own journeys to follow. Even if you compare yourself to people who have always had money and privilege, that doesn't mean that they are inherently happier or more fulfilled than you are. I now can find an abundance of joy in simple things like feeding the animals in my backyard (I recently domesticated a squirrel and crow I’m an animal whisperer) or enjoying a cheap meal from my favorite restaurant. I didn’t have the privilege to enjoy the beauty of nature and little things when I was stressed and poor and riddened with anxiety tbh, but it’s always been there??? Nothing has changed I just have the ability to see it now. I love me a channel purse, but a lot of the things that make happy are free and always have been. I’m still a material girl regardless tho 💅💅

For me, the law has helped me appreciate the little things in life so much more. Before I discovered it, I was always searching for more and never felt satisfied with what I had. But now, I'm grateful for everything in my life, both big and small. I take things less seriously and just focus on being a kind and genuine person. I truly believe that if you put out positive energy into the world, it’s going to be a reflection of your inner heart regardless of whatever.

So don't worry about becoming someone like Elon musk or losing sight of who you are. The law is simply a tool to help you become the best version of yourself. And thinking about this already should be a reminder that you have a great head on your shoulder. Keep growing, keep learning, and keep being true to who you are. That's what really matters in life.

#law of assumption #my asks

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thealogie · 1 month

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Gonna be embarrassingly emotional on main here but I'm genuinely so grateful for the second run of Macbeth and your updates/tips and tricks for watching it. Seeing DT perform live in Shakespeare has been a dream of mine since watching his Hamlet in high school, but on account of my brand of Problems and Issues I found wanting something just for the sake of it deeply embarrassing and not to be aired in the light of day. So I always assumed it wouldn't happen because even if the circumstances were in place I just. Would kill the wish and not do it.

But luckily growth happens after high school etc etc and by the time of the Donmer run those feelings weren't ... gone? But they were down to a size that could have been overcome if I wasn't extremely overwhelmed with assorted happenings and just couldn't quite scrounge the brainspace and kindness to myself to make it happen. But then the second run was announced and I almost cried. And promised myself I wouldn't miss it a second time. And now I sure do have a second-row ticket to see Macbeth in early November!!!

Also without your blog I probably would have been dealing with my disappointment with avoidance and wouldn't have known about the second run until it was too late to get tickets (or at least landed in a very anxiety inducing spot of maybe but not definitely being able to snatch some up later). And your tips and tricks made it so much less stressful! Seriously thank you for that link as well; I went ahead and bought an ATG+ membership because I could afford it, but that was really cool of you and it makes me so happy that more people who might have missed the play for money reasons will now get to see it.

Anyway. um yeah. Thanks for helping a childhood dream of mine to come true!

This is such a touching message. I’m very touched. I just love theatre very very much and it makes me so happy if I help even a few people go for their theatre dreams more, so this is very sweet and made my day. Thank you!!

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the1975attheirverybest · 1 year

Text

(Cabin) Pressure

A/N: This is probably unnecessary and super indulgent, lmao. I just have this impossible urge to baby him, OKAY? he's so....UGH!! anywaysssss!!! As requested by quite a few of you, here's part 2 of the flight one-shot. on a scale from 1 to absolute dumpster fire, lmk how bad it is, lol. Honestly I’m so conflicted about posting it, I might end up deleting later. AND YES SMUT COMING TONIGHT, I PROMISE. Just can't be writing smut at work in case one of my students comes to my office.

Read Part 1 here.

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, depiction of panic attack.

----

The guys hurried ahead to give her and Matty some privacy. She felt Matty's hand stiffen in hers as soon as he watched the automatic doors of the Departures Terminal open and his bandmates walk right in. He swallowed the lump in his throat, his breathing quickened.

She squeezed his hand, drawing his attention back to his body. "Hey," she looked up at him. "You're gonna be alright, yeah?"

Matty gave her a weak smile, nodding slowly. He wasn't sure he believed her. He wanted to. Desperately. But he couldn't control it. It was like his body reflexively reacted to his surroundings before his mind could step in and control how he felt. He could physically sense the tension seeping into his body, right on cue.

"Well, shall we?" he turned to her.

"No pressure. Take as long as you need. We've got time. We'll go in whenever you're ready."

"But the lads-"

"Matty, look at me...there you are. We'll catch up with them at the gate, yes? It's okay." Her free hand moved to touch his face, the sensation grounding him.

"Right, sorry, I'm being silly." he smiled timidly. "Okay, think I'm read. Let's do this."

"Lead the way."

She kept her eye on him as they made their way through the airport, watching his body for any signs of stress.

Matty stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he saw the airline counters at the end of the hall.

"Fuck! My passport! Don't think it's in my bag! I don't remember seeing it-"

"Oh, god, sorry! I- I took it." she winced and looked apologetically up at him. "Sorry, I- uh, I thought if I kept track of the tickets, paperwork, and passports it...would give you some wiggle room so you didn't have to worry about sorting that stuff out...It's all with me! I have them here..."

To her surprise, and relief, Matty burst out laughing. "I think by thinking so hard about not panicking, I'm startin' to stress myself out. Alright, deep breaths."

She watched Matty close his eyes and take two deep breaths. Inhaling slowly, then opening his eyes as he exhaled.

"Okay, I'm all good now." He smiled, genuine this time. "And, thank you, baby, that was really kind of you to do." He dipped his head down to give her a quick kiss.

She rummaged through her bag, pulling out their documents as they approached the counter. "I can do it if you'd like..."

"No, it's okay. Think I can handle this. But, umm, keep holdin' my hand?" He blushed as he heard his own words leave his lips.

"Of course. I'm right here. All the way until security physically separates us."

***

With check-in and security now behind them, they wandered the airport in search of their gate, and the rest of their group. Matty seemed to relax a little, so she took the chance to suggest breakfast.

"Hey, wanna go over there and get something to eat?" she point towards the express version of some chain restaurant.

"Too anxious to eat. Afraid I won't be able to keep anything down."

"Please, baby? the nausea's probably worse when you're operating on an empty stomach. Let me buy you a little snack? you don't have to eat it right away..." She noticed Matty's attention shift from her gentle pleading to something else, something right behind her. "What're you looking at?" she frowned at the faint smile on his face. Turning around to check what was behind her, she saw a pair of young women, roughly in their early 20s, eyeing him hesitantly and struggling to contain their excitement.

"do you mind waitin' a bit? Think I'll go over there."

"Matty, are you sure? You know you don't have to do that if you're not feeling it."

He rolled his eyes. "C'mon, my love. Put yourself in their shoes...you're tellin' me that if we bumped into, I don't know, Harry Styles, right now, you wouldn't go up to him to say hello?"

She giggled and shook her head. "I- I wouldn't expect HIM to be the one to come to ME."

"Oh, so now you're telling me that, if Harry Styles were right here, right now, you'd actually have the courage to go up to him yourself?"

She couldn't help but smile. At least, the fact that he took the opportunity to tease her about her celebrity crush was an indicator that he was in a good enough mood. "Alright, let's go say hi." She relented.

"I appreciate you watching out of me." He placed his hands on her cheeks, kissing her, and giggling against her lips bit at the sound of the girls squealing behind him before he went over to greet them.

He sweetly introduced himself as Matty and gave each woman a hug, whispering "nice to meet you, Darlin'" as he pulled them in. He signed the backs of their itineraries, agreed to FaceTime a friend, and stood for pictures with them.

"Do you wanna take it or do you want me to take it? Actually, you know what? My girlfriend, here, can take it...Babe?" He gestured for her to come closer, "do you mind?" handing her the girls' phones.

"See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer and whispering in her ear as they walked away, waving the girls goodbye and wishing them a safe trip.

"I never said it would be bad! I was-"

"Just trying to take care of me, I know." He kissed her cheek. "But I'm okay. Really. Cuz I've got you."

***

The flight seemed off to a good start, with her and the guys taking turns at sitting with, and distracting, Matty from his thought spiral. Take off was a bit rough for a moment; he visibly broke a sweat and almost crushed her hand in his while the plane settled into altitude. She quickly brought him back the a calm enough state after that, though. They argued over which film to watch, eventually agreed to each watch their own choice, before Matty petulantly abandoned his screen and begged to watch whatever she was watching instead. This, of course, meant that she had to pause and explain the plot to him, bring him up to speed. She pretended to be annoyed with him, but secretly, she was glad for it because, the more that she actively participated in distracting him, the less likely it was that he'd let his mind wander and start overthinking.

Her plan seemed to be working, until it wasn't. 7 hours into the flight, Matty's senses were overwhelmed. He could no longer block the anxious thoughts away by steering his attention towards her, his friends, or whatever forms of entertainment were available to him. He even got out his laptop, tried to do some work to keep his mind occupied, but as time went on, his anxiety sucked more and more of his energy, until his will inevitably weakened, and he succumbed to the catastrophic thinking...

His eardrums pounded with the sound of his own heartbeat, the sounds of his surroundings being reduced to a faint, persistent whisper. He felt the air get sucked out of his lungs, panting and sweating as his eyes scanned the tight quarters. The voice inside his head screamed for him to leave the airplane, but he was aware enough to know that it was physically impossible to escape. Both sides of his brain locked in an impossible battle, the result was a near-complete paralysis. He lost the feeling in his limbs, his vision going blurry. Even breathing became a consuming conscious task. He felt like he was drowning underwater.

"M-matty? my love, what's the matter?" She was immediately alarmed when she'd glanced away from her book to check in with him. "You look like you're gonna be sick...Do you need me to call for someone?"

With great effort, Matty shook his head, looking helplessly at her.

"Talk to me, honey..."

"P-panic attack." he stuttered, short-winded and struggling to breathe.

The words brought instant tears to her eyes, and for a moment, she was overwhelmed by how quickly his pain had crushed her heart, but she wasn't about to make this about herself.

Delicately, she reached around his neck, loosing his tie. "I'm gonna take this off, okay?" explaining each of her movements as she did them so as not to startle him with anything unexpected. Matty's scattered brain was, of course, much too overwhelmed to process anything that she was saying to him, but the softness of her tone somehow made him nod anyway. She stood up, looking a few rows behind her, for George. They'd made an agreement that she would signal to him if she needed his help. Unfortunately, though, George was sound asleep, from what she could tell.

Shifting her attention back to Matty. "I'm gonna undress you, okay?"

She unbuttoned his button-down. "Honey, are you with me? need you to take off your undershirt, okay? it's much too tight."

When he made no effort to follow her instructions, she reached over and took it off for him. “Okay, I’ve got a better shirt for you in my bag. I just need to get it from the overhead bin, alright? I’ll be right back, okay?”

Matty might as well have been asleep; he made no movement or attempt to acknowledge her, which broke her heart to a million pieces.

She hurried over to George’s seat kicking it roughly to wake him up.

“He needs you.” She simply stated as soon as she saw George’s eyes flutter open.

George cleared his throat several times. “R-right. I’m up; I’m up. I promise.” He stood up, peaking ahead of him to wear Matty was seated. “He’s…naked?”

She rolled her eyes. “Obviously, I’m getting him clothes. But I need you, you gentle giant. Help me get my bag before you sit with him? Just need to get his stuff…”

George sprung into action, following her commands swiftly while she went through her bag to find a 1975 crew neck that was two sizes too big on Matty, and a pair of his joggers. She’d packed them when he insisted on wearing his shirt and tie to the airport, hoping she’d use them under happier circumstances, but right now, she was just glad she’d thought ahead. She went over to the flight attendant and grabbed him some water to go along with the sleeping pills.

By the time that she’d made it back to their seats George, had somehow talked Matty into reclining his seat, closing his eyes, and apparently leant him some headphones. “What- how-“

George, ever the wizard, just shrugged. “It’s all I could think of, alright?”

She broke into a smile, kissing her friend’s balding head. “You’re an Angel, George.”

“Hmm.” George hummed, smirking. “Listen, I’ll go get a coffee to wake myself up. Give me a shout if you need me, yeah?”

***

Matty got through the reminder of the flight relatively alright. While he didn't manage to fall asleep, despite the sleeping pills she'd given him, nor did he manage to eat any real meals, the first class reclining chairs were comfortable enough for him to close his eyes and focus on an audio book for a couple of hours, and he did nibble on a piece of buttered toast while wrapped himself up in the blanket she'd bought him and shuffling through her especially curated playlist. The anxiety never completely left him, but he was happy to endure a lower-level persistent anxiousness instead of the sudden panic attack that had gripped him earlier.

At long last, they'd touched down and began their journey out of the airport. Matty always wondered if the arrivals terminal is universally more difficult to get through, or if his impatience to finally be done with the travel part always made it seem so, regardless of where in the world he'd found himself.

At baggage claim, the stress of the journey seemed to catch up to him. He wrapped his armed around her waist, burying his face into the side of her neck and breathing in her scent. Just when he'd closed his eyes, hoping to catch a breath while they waited for the couple of items that they could neither ship ahead of time, nor bring in their carry-ons, to appear on the carousel, he became aware of a couple of people catching on to his presence.

"No, Matty, please." her hand grabbed onto his arm around her waist when she felt him slip away from her, getting ready to greet the fans.

"It's fine, Darlin'" his voice was heavy with sleep, as were his eyes.

She sighed, this time, she couldn't be supportive of his decision. As she spotted his guitar and got ready to retrieve it, she overheard him apologize to a few people for "looking sweaty" and mumbling something about jet lag. Ross stepped in to help her with the bag, listening silently and nodding in agreement as she whispered her complaints about Matty's lack of boundaries. If she'd let him get a word in edgewise, he'd have said "you should've seen him when our career first started, he was acting like he was every fan's best mate." George joined Matty for a moment, saying a quick hello to everyone before politely excusing himself and pulling his friend away. "We've gotta go, Matty, c'mon."

Though George had succeeded in extracting Matty away, his victory was short-lived. At the airport gates, the guys were surprised to find a group of more than just a handful of fans waiting for them. Phone cameras flashed as soon as the gates opened, the crowd calling out and vying for the band's attention.

Adam was the first to jump into their designated car as it pulled up by the side of the building. Ross and George followed shortly behind him. Matty, on the other hand, was quickly separated from them when he paused momentarily, slightly thrown off, by the presence of people on both sides of the gates.

She rushed over to him, taking his hand and pulling him towards the car. For a moment, Matty let her lead the way, trailing behind her with a hand on her hip to keep from losing her. He kept his head down, but closer he got to the crowd, the louder they were, and the faster his heart beat. His palms were beginning to sweat and breathing was getting difficult again. A voice in the back of his head told him to stop, to take a look around and stop staring at his feet, and when he did, he saw the faces of the people looking at him and he couldn't help it. He let go of her hand, walking over to one group, while the other screamed out his name.

She attempted to call out his name, but her voice was drowned out by the phones beeping, cameras flashing, and excited chatter. She stood there, astounded as he smiled and hugged a few people, apologizing that he couldn't sign someone's phone case because he didn't have a pen on him.

He turned around to the second group, "I promise, I'll get to all of you if we don't cause too much trouble and security doesn't get involved. could we...maybe just move away from the gates?"

She sighed, exasperated by the lengths he was going to. He was practically behaving like a event organizer, ushering people away from the rest of the public.

As well intentioned as his plan was, it did not work out quite as he’d imagined. the moment that he moved people away from the airport gates, everyone naturally formed a circle around him, a few people elbowing their way to the front. He was trapped.

Matty froze in place, fighting to keep his expression straight and suppress the fight or flight response that had kicked in. What had he done? The illusion that he had any control at all over the situation was quickly blown away. She could see his hands shaking by the sides of his body as he struggled to regulate his breathing. She couldn’t take it anymore.

She squeezed her way past an appreciable number of people, trying to get to Matty. “Excuse me, yeah, could I just- get through. Thanks.” She grabbed his hand. “Hey, you,” and leaned into his ear “Matty, whatever you think you’re doing, it’s not smart. Let’s leave.”

“Just a second. Almost done.” He whispered, fully aware that there was no way people weren’t listening to their conversation.

“You’re not feeling well, let’s get in the car, please?”

“A few more people-“ she pulled him by the arm dragging him away from people and towards the car. Matty waved apologetically at groaning people who were mumbling how unfair this was, dipping his head low and rushing to keep up with her.

The chatter between the guys in the car fell silent as she and Matty climbed in. They settled into the backseat with Matty instantly clinging to her and resting his head on her chest as the car drove away. Her hands reflexively found his hair, running her fingers through it and kissing his forehead.

“Baby? Could I just say something?” Matty spoke, finally breaking the dead silence, once they’d made it onto the highway.

“I don’t wanna hear it.” She said firmly.

Ross and Adam exchanged a look of surprise. Clearly impressed with, and in support of, her new tone.

Matty lifted his head halfway off of her looking up at her. “But I’d just like to explain-“

“I said I don’t wanna hear it. Can we not talk about it right now?”

He replaced his head back on her body, her hands resuming their soothing motions through his hair. “Can tell you’re angry.” He mumbled.

“No shit! Of course I’m angry.” He heard her heartbeat rise as she spoke. Her hands still comforting him though her tone was definitely sharp.

“I just wanna-“

“I said I don’t want to have this conversation right now, and yet, you keep fuckin’ pushing. Look, I know you love your fans. You’re grateful. And, honestly, it is one of the greatest joys of my life watching you interact with them. The knowledge that you can be so tender and compassionate- not just with me me, not with your family, the boys, your friends- but with complete strangers as well…that’s what makes you a man in my eyes. So, trust me, Matty, I don’t say this lightly, but you have absolutely no boundaries. You’re a pushover!”

Matty was quiet for a moment, taking in the gravity of her words. “Okay, I can see why you’d think that.” he opened his eyes, looking up her through his hair. “But could I just explain my side of things?”

“There is no ‘your side’! You are mentally and physically exhausted. Matty- you were literally shaking. And, this wasn’t a professional event! This wasn’t a signing or a meet-and-greet!”

“That’s exactly why l-“

“My point is, it wasn’t safe! What if someone’d gotten hurt? What if you’d gotten hurt? There was no security to control the situation. Nobody to help or be held accountable! There’s a reason everyone else was sitting in this car, and not out there with you.”

“I get it.” Matty conceded.

“We were all bending over backwards to make sure you’re okay, then you go and willingly put yourself in a stressful situation that would trigger you. I mean,” she shook her head, speechless.

“I just- I’m sorry.”

“I know. Let’s just not talk about it anymore. Alright?”

Matty’s arms squeezed around her waist as he nuzzled his face deeper into her chest, kissing her skin in a silent apology.

The car fell into another silent lull, until, several minutes later, George peaked his head from the passengers seat and told her and Matty not to check Twitter.

“Oh, god. What’d you have to say that for? You know Matty’s gonna wanna see it now!” Adam groaned, chastising George.

“What?” George shrugged. “I said ‘whatever you do, don’t check Twitter,’ I didn’t say to hurry up and check it.”

“I’ve literally been biting my tongue this whole ride.”

Matty, who’d been half asleep in her arms, pulled out his phone, blinking rapidly to adjust to the light of the screen.

Just as he’d suspected, photos of him being dragged away from adoring fans were already circulating the internet. All captioned with dramatic out of context narratives.

“Matty Healy and gf argue in the middle of airport parking lot”

“1975 front man physically dragged away from fans by possessive gf.”

Comments embellished the description using every colorful name in the book. From “jealous” and “immature” to “frigid witch.”

Matty set his phone down, neither one of them said anything. They spent the remainder of their ride to the hotel in silence.

***

“How’re you feeling?” She emerged out of the bathroom, walking over to Matty’s slumped over figure on the bed.

“I’m sleepy, and hungry, and tired, and I smell like airplane.” He mumbled. “I’m also sad.”

“Why’re you sad?” She bent down to kiss his nose.

“Cuz you’re mad at me. You don’t seem to understand- the fans…they’re like the most important thing. Unless I’m physically tied down, I will always go out there and meet them. Never gonna be dismissive. Never gonna make them feel like they don’t matter to me.” Matty sat up in bed, taking her hands in his, and pulling her closer to him. “You can’t put out the kind of music that I put out, and then pretend not to want anything to do with the people who listen to it.” She nodded, attempting to signal that she was on his side. “There are ways of saying ‘sorry, not today guys.’ Without being dismissive or rude.”

“I hope you know, that’s never gonna be me. I’d never say that to them. It’s just not who I am.”

“I know. I don’t expect you to suddenly change. I just hope you don’t expect me to either. Cuz I’m still gonna worry about you and try to protect you when you’re in over your head.”

Matty smiled at her with droopy eyes. “Deal.” He kissed her lips.

“Sorry they’re saying mean shit online.”

“Are you kidding me? I’ve wanted to be a witch since I was a little girl!” She giggled. “Now, c’mon. I ran us a bath.”

“Wait…us? Like you AND me?”

***

“You had a really rough day today, huh?” She whispered as she snuggled into him, getting comfortable in their hotel bed.

Matty turned on his side to face her, the smell of her freshly washed hair calming his mind. “Couldn’t have gotten through it without you.” He kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”

“Of course, baby.”

“Could we just…stay here, in this bed, for ever. Just you and me. Where it’s safe, soft, quiet.”

“Sounds like a great idea. Yeah, let’s do that.”

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