Books read in January 2024

ALL FOURS by Miranda July

GENDER QUEER by Maia Kobabe

THE MAGNETIC GIRL by Jessica Handler

FIREBUGS by Nino Bulling

SCREEN TESTS by Kate Zambreno 

THE GULF by Adam de Souza 

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh I'm so excited for this unexpected companion book!

More Shirohige!Sanji headcanons

Definitely learned a lot of medical shit from Marco and acts as the Strawhats doctor and cook until Chopper joins

Has kicked Thatch across the galley on multiple occasions because of his teasing

Sanji doesn't retain heat at all despite being able to set himself on fire

Thatch first said Sanji and Ace were married the day Ace officially joined the crew

Yes, he got kicked across the galley for it, he fully believes it was worth it.

Ace isn't allowed to go to WCI so he tells everyone about Wano circa 3 years prior when he and Sanji went.

Law and Zoro almost choke Ace out for holding that information out on them

Ace asks Law for information on Germa after seeing Sanji in the raid suit much to Sanji's displeasure

After they win Marco hands Chopper Ace and Sanji's medical files and wishes him luck

Chopper almost cries at how big the files are, partly because Sanji's shows his neglect and Ace's shows how dumb he is.

Yamato is clinging to Ace and Sanji and is so happy to see them.

After the impromptu wedding another feast is thrown and when Marco is dropped off the first he does is call the commanders to brag about the wedding and Wano

The Sunny is flooded with wedding gifts and Sanji and Ace don't know what to do with them

Franky asks Luffy about the captains quarters he doesn't use and if he can refurnish it for them which Luffy agrees to because he didn't even know he has his own bedroom

A few days later Sanji and Ace have their own room with a bed and its SUUUPPPER

Yandere Mellow Househusband Loves When…

Yandere Mellow Househusband loves when you kiss him on the cheek before you go to work. It’s just like the perfect fairytale of the househusband! This alone will keep him going through the day, replaying the moment and enjoying the deviations of his imagination! It’s even better when you open the door and then quickly return to grab the lunch he’s made for you. He hopes all the other stay-at-homes can see how much you love him. Yes! They can all watch how much he loves you. You’re all his!

“Bye honey, have a wonderful day! …My sweet baby looks so sexy in their work clothes!”

Yandere Mellow Househusband loves when you eat his food. He works so hard putting his blood, sweat, and tears that’s not a metaphor, into the food he makes for you. He loves to see the way your mouth curves over the food he’s made for you. Obsessing with the way your cheeks puff up with his essence food. When your burping and groaning cause your stuffed he’s plugging his nose to stop the running blood from his nose. You’re always so alluring but he’s so happy he could put himself inside you that way…while the sun’s still out.

“Aw honey-babe,  how about we head for the bath next! I’ve already worked up a sweat!”

Yandere Mellow Househusband loves when you pull a little too hard at his hair. Since his normal love scheme worked he never had to really go through the more aggressive route. Which means he never got to see what you looked like while struggling. Or feel what it was like to have you claw and scratch at him in a frantic attempt to escape. While he may never get that feeling being happily married to you he does get to have a taste of your desperation when he does down on you. He makes sure you’re so overstimulated you have no sense about being gentle, Harshly tugging at his black strands he just can’t stand it. 

“A-André~!”

“Yup Baby! Keep on going~!”

Yandere Mellow Househusband loves when he can properly brag how much better his honey-baby is! When you’re away and he’s not doing his chores or committing acts of violence in your name he’s forced to talk with the neighborhood stay-at-homes. The galley of house-spouses that always love to gossip and brag about their families. Not to say Andres doesn’t like gossiping too. What else is he going to giggle about over dinner with you? But when he’s in the trenches it’s a battle, there’s always something about their husband or wife’s promotion, or their child’s championship, or their dog’s beauty pageant. To him everything you are and do is brag-worthy, but it’ll be even better if he can share the success of your latest project. 

“They’re a genius aren’t they? My baby is absolutely the best!” 

Yandere Mellow Househusband loves loves when he can convince trick you to take a sick day. Even if you’re stellar at managing your breaks he loves that he can sway your ultimate decision. Kissing you into oblivion in the early or late hours forcing you to call in sick. He already loves touching you anyway he just has to do it skillfully enough to bed you for the day. And if he had it his way you’d never go back.

“Come on Baby~!Come on Baby~! Stay with me, Baby~!”

Part 7 with Eri Reader They finally make it to Alabasta (Luffy, Sanji and Nami told the others what Dr. Kureha told them what might be the cause of Reader’s scars, but no one wants to ask Reader unless she’s ready to tell her story)

Though they meet a strange man named Bon Clay (She didn’t meet him since she’s with Sanji) and go through their usual shenanigans, though she got separated from Luffy, but was found by Ace who’s nice enough to help her find her ‘big brother’ and even treated her to some food (Only for him to pass out, wake up and pass out again, which started her) then Smoker comes in and Luffy, and to her surprise Luffy and Ace know each other (As they begin to run away from the Marines)

When everyone finally gets on the Merry, Ace introduces himself as Luffy’s Older Brother, with Reader sparkly eyed (Ace has a heart attack), as he even tries to convince her to join the Whitebeard Pirates since Pops would love her (She politely declines as she’s happy where she is with the Straw Hats)

They then meet the Kung Fu Dugongs, with Reader and them all sparkly eyed at each other, causing everyone having another case of heart attacks, the Dugongs follow Reader too as their ‘Sensei’ because “her cuteness defeated them”, Chopper explains, which everyone agrees is true, but they have to part ways from the Dugongs)

Ace and Reader bond (He shows her little fire tricks he can do and even made his fire form flowers and animal shapes that even move, with Luffy trying to One-Up him, shows his tricks only to get himself tangled up and stuck, causing everyone to laugh at him) and later more chaos and shenanigans happens, and have to part ways with Ace (Which makes Reader sad, but he gives her a mini Transbonder Snail so they can talk, as he intends to brag to Pops and his crew that he has the cutest little sister in the world)

More time passes until they finally make it to Crocodiles’ Casino, with Nami, Usopp, Zoro, Luffy, Reader and Smoker captured, but to their shock Reader isn’t in the cage with them and discover she’s sitting next to Crocodile with a plate of food in front of her, like she’s his ‘guest’ (He gained intel on her power, to his surprise, it wasn’t a lot, only she has the power to heal and she’s highly wanted, almost like she never existed until she got her bounty) then he and Miss All Sunday leave with her in his clutches head off to meet ‘Mr. Prince’

This gives everyone an even bigger reason to stop Crocodile to not only help Vivi but save Reader and when the battle is over, the Straw Hats feast and rest, and Vivi gives Reader some of her old clothes she wore around her age for her to have

They leave and say goodbye to Vivi, and discover Zoro now has a bounty with Luffy and Reader’s bounties increasing along with MAS, who reveals her name is Nico Robin and joins their crew as payment for what Luffy and Reader ‘done to her’ (Luffy saved her and Reader healed her wound)

-Luffy and Nami made the decision, once you all back on the ship and you were playing in the snow that was on the ship before it melted, to tell the others of what Kureha had found out about your scars, about her speculations behind your scars.

-Usopp and Vivi were both in tears, hearing the torture you went through before Sanji spoke, his voice low and serious, “As we said, Dr. Kureha is only speculating, she doesn’t know for sure. If we want the truth, we will have to ask Y/N.”

-Glances were sent around the galley, they were hesitant to say anything, they didn’t know how it would affect you if they were to ask.

-Alabasta was so hot!!! Nami and Vivi made sure you were completely covered by a cloak, light pink in color, including a hood, so you wouldn’t get sunburned and both women threatened all of the men on the crew that they had to make sure that you were kept covered and safe from the sun, or else.

-Zoro was the only one who asked, “Or else what?” you wanted to heal his wounds moments later, after he was covered with lumps and bruises all over, but Usopp held you in his arms, telling you that Zoro deserved his punishment for sassing the lovely ladies.

-You went with Sanji to go shopping, unaware of the ‘new friend’ the others were meeting in Bon Clay, as you had hurt all of their hearts by beaming up to him when you asked to go with, “I wanna help you carry stuff, big brother Sanji.”

-He couldn’t leave without you, but he had to stop crying before the two of you left the ship.

-The markets were so colorful and there were so many stands around, you were in Sanji’s arms, so you could look around to your heart’s content.

-Sanji smiled softly up at you as you pointed out some kids flying kites, seeing you smiling brightly, like the child you should have been all along.

-You found Luffy a short while later and Sanji beamed, ruffling your hair, minding your horn under your cloak, “Thank you Y/N, you were a big help today!” your smile could have melted the sun, before you went off with Luffy, holding his hand.

-Twenty minutes later you were looking around, once again all alone and having no idea where you were. Tears began to well in your eyes as you started down a road, looking for any of your big brothers or Nami.

-Your soft sniffle was overheard by someone who came over and put his hand on your head, kneeling down, “You okay?” you looked up to see a stranger, he wasn’t wearing a shirt, but a big orange hat, and shorts with boots, and he had fluffy black hair with freckles across his cheeks.

-Despite your aversion to strangers, you felt an instant connection with this man who gave you a bright grin as you tried to wipe your tears away, trying not to cry anymore, “I lost my big brother.” He chuckled softly, patting the top of your head, “You lost him, usually it’s the other way around and the big brother loses the little sister.”

-He introduced himself as Ace and you introduced yourself, before he asked if he could pick you up, so you could go look for your big brother together.

-You couldn’t see anyone you recognized, getting a little upset before Ace took you to a restaurant to get something to eat, “Gotta eat to stay strong to look for your brother!” you nodded and instantly your eyes were stars, getting a fruit parfait, turning to look up at him, “Is this really mine?” you killed the whole restaurant with your cuteness.

-Ace was asking you questions between bites, grinning down at you as you had whipped cream around your mouth before he suddenly stopped and started to snore, face planting into his food.

-Your mind went blank before you shook his arm, “Big brother? Big brother wake up! You shouldn’t sleep in food!”

-Luffy and Smoker then flew in, damaging a good part of the restaurant and Ace woke up, looking around before noticing that you were clinging to him and he was quick to hug you, seeing that you were scared.

-Your eyes were stars when you realized Luffy and Ace were brothers, before Ace tried to beat Luffy in annoyance, pulling on his cheeks, “I had the cutest little sister ever and you didn’t even bother to tell me?!”

-Once you were all back on the ship and Ace introduced himself to everyone else, he beamed down at you, “Y/N~ do you want to join the Whitebeard Pirates? I know pops would love you!” you were surprised by his request before you shook your head, “I wanna stay with big brother Luffy.”

-Ace wasn’t upset, ruffling your hair fondly before you all set off to your next destination, Vivi’s home to take care of Crocodile.

-The Kung Fu Dugongs were a little scary, as Luffy had jumped down with you, something he was quickly beaten for, as these creatures looked like they wanted to fight. Your eyes were full of tears as you pleaded, “Don’t hurt my big brother!” you killed the dugongs with your cuteness, becoming their new leader because your cuteness defeated them, or that’s what Chopper told you.

-Ace and Luffy began to fight over you, Ace making flowers and little animals out of flames, making your eyes sparkle while Luffy was trying to stretch and show off, only to get tangled up and you and Chopper had to get him untangled while everyone else was laughing.

-Ace had never regretted something before, but seeing you crying, holding onto his leg, begging him not to leave, he was full of regret, feeling so guilty.

-He gave you a mini Den-Den Mushi and Nami told you that with it, you could call him any time you wanted and he would come and visit. He even linked pinkie fingers with you, making a promise to come and see you which made you smile.

-Ace went back and gushed to Whitebeard and the others about how cute you were, lamenting that he couldn’t convince you to come with him.

-You were terrified, after being captured by Crocodile, but unlike Nami, Zoro, Usopp, Smoker, and Luffy, you weren’t in the cage with them, you were sitting on a pile of pillows, a booster seat, that Crocodile had made for you.

-Crocodile explained that while the others were prisoners, you were a ‘guest’ unaware that he had gathered a bit of intel on you, about your ability, but he didn’t know the whole truth, only that you could heal others and you were heavily wanted by the government. He wanted to keep you at his side, safe and sound is what he had said.

-Miss All Sunday was holding you when she and Crocodile left to go and see Mr. Prince, unaware that it was Sanji, while everyone prepared their jailbreak, having more of a reason now that Crocodile had you in his clutches.

-Unlike Crocodile, Miss All Sunday didn’t scare you much, she was nice to you, talking gently to you, and unlike when she spoke with others, her smile towards you was genuine. You couldn’t explain it, but you felt like you could trust her.

-Miss All Sunday put you in a very lavish room with lots of pillows and some fruit, “Stay here Y/N. You’ll be safe here. Your brother will come to get you soon.” She said that last part as a whisper, holding a finger to her lips, telling you that it was a secret and you nodded.

-The chairs were too high for you to get onto by yourself, you tried, your little legs kicking as you tried to pull yourself up, unaware that your crew, your family, were all fighting against Crocodile and his strongest members of Baroque Works.

-You gave up getting into the chair and crawled into a large pile of pillows, hugging one close to your chest and you were quick to knock out.

-Several hours later you woke up to the door being busted down as it had been locked from the outside and you jolted awake, scared before you saw Zoro there and your eyes widened, “Big brother!” he kneeled as you ran to him, catching you in his arms before he stood, “C’mon, the others are worried.” You nodded, hugging him around his neck.

-When everyone was witnessing the fall of Crocodile, you found Miss All Sunday, who smiled softly, seeing that you were safe. You hesitated for a moment before healing her wound, making her eyes wide, seeing your ability firsthand.

-You did come down with a slight fever but many attributed it to the heat as you were better in just a few hours, with some rest.

-There was a massive feast celebrating Crocodile’s defeat, there were so many tasty foods and you got to play in the giant bathtub with Nami and Vivi, swimming around which they thought was adorable.

-Vivi surprised you with some of her clothes from when she was a little girl, flowy princess dresses and you had a fashion show with her and Nami who adored it, happy to see you having so much fun.

-When you arrived back on the ship, you froze, seeing Miss All Sunday, who just smiled warmly at Luffy, who demanded to know why she was there on his ship.

-She introduced herself, telling you her true name, Nico Robin, and to pay Luffy and you back, for saving her and giving her a reason to fight, respectively, she was joining the crew.

-Luffy was fairly quick to accept her only because you did, trusting her, which warmed her heart and she sat with you on one of the lounge chairs in Nami’s orchard, reading to you, finding you a delightful young child, one she wanted to keep safe.

this is a bit of an oddball request but if youre comfortable writing for him: anything with paulie (from water 7) with an s/o who likes to tease him?? just absolutely turning that boy into a puddle on the floor in any way u see fit. either a gn or m reader is fine and it can be either a drabble or just headcanons (whatever is easiest 4 u!!) thank u so much lol im feelin a little embarrassed and shy abt this

not much, but it's always a treat to tease these silly little guys <3 there's no need to feel embarrassed anon, we're all living in self indulgence here! ψ(｀∇´)ψ (i included everyone’s favorite star clown to fill some space, i hope you don’t mind 💕)

with a teasing s/o (Paulie, Buggy)

masc reader, fluff word count: 0.4k

Paulie

Paulie is what the Galley-La likes to refer to as: Chickenshit - All Bark No Bite. He talks big about the game he pulls, particularly after more than a few drinks at Blueno’s bar, but the moment he does get into a relationship? Oh, he’s a certified sap.

He’s a cheesy, sappy, old fashioned romantic with chocolates and a bouquet of roses, writing poems for his love all day but never sending them because he doesn’t feel like they’re worth much. If and when his a partner does find these cute little love notes, and rightfully thinks they’re adorable, Paulie’s going to dissolve where he stands and never recover. His boyfriend teases him about it in subtle ways, quoting lines at him when they’re out in public together, just holding hands down the streets of Water Seven, cuddling with him on the couch at home until Paulie turns bright red at his own, ridiculously saccharine words - the one place he’s been prohibited from doing this, though, is while Paulie’s on the job, because the last time it happened the poor shipwright missed a nail and his thumb was the size of a lime for a week.

He also collapses at arguably very standard PDA.

Buggy

So, so very easy to tease.

Just like Paulie, though to a much more overblown degree, Buggy brags endlessly about how many potential suiters flock to his side inflating his reputation in his gullible follower’s eyes while anyone else easily sees through his façade. Having the man who holds his heart proudly proclaim that he’s an Emperor’s partner is one thing, but to have that emphasis being put on Buggy himself is another entirely. He tries to hide is reaction but at the end of the day this is Buggy we’re talking about, there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind that he’s going to fly into the predictable bombastic spiel of,

‘O-Of he’d be glad to wear the title of MY boyfriend, an-anyone would-- I’m the GREAT Buggy-sama! Gyaaahahaha!!’

Face the same complexion as his nose underneath that Buggy hopes to god no one points out, that same boyfriend smiling endearingly at him with his arms crossed from the sidelines. Buggy doesn’t get nearly as flustered as Paulie does with PDA, at least being able to handle having his partner on his lap while he leans back in his throne, but if he’s given any sort open physical affection like kisses, his partner running his hands through those surprisingly luscious locks, or leaning close to whisper sweet praises against the side of Buggy’s neck - the steam from this poor clown’s ears would put the Puffing Tom to shame.

PRANKS GONE WRONG THAT ACCIDENTALLY KILLED PEOPLE

Adrian Broadway, a 15-year-old girl from Little Rock, Arkansas, was with her friends toilet-papering, egging, and throwing mayonnaise on a car, in retaliation for a prank someone else had pulled on her group. Unfortunately, a 48-year-old man came out of the house and opened fire on them in their car, killing her and injuring one of her friends. The shooter, Willie Noble, was later sentenced to 30 years in prison for Broadway's death.

What seemed like an innocent jump-scare became fatal in 2013 when an 18-year-old girl named Premila Lal hid in a closet at her house, knowing that a family friend was there watching over the property. She planned to surprise him by jumping out of the closet, but the house sitter, 21-year-old Nerrek Galley, was packing heat at the time — this despite playing video games with her 15-year-old brother. When he heard the noises of her entry, he grabbed his gun to investigate. Believing her to be an intruder, Galley shot the girl when she opened the door, and she later succumbed to her injuries at an area hospital.

One man's decision to suit up as Bigfoot to summon a few scares cost him his life. 44-year-old Randy Lee Tenley impersonated the elusive beast in 2012 by donning a military-style ghillie suit on the side of Kalispell, Montana's Highway 93, to spook travellers on the road into thinking they'd witnessed the sought-after animal. Instead, he was run over by two teen drivers and died as a result of his injuries.

A traffic sign antic in Circleville, Ohio became the site of a horrific crash scene in 2011 after a pair of local teens decided to wrap an intersection's stop sign in plastic and petroleum jelly, rendering it invisible to drivers. The pair, 19-year-old Seth Stonerock and 18-year-old Derek Greenlee, apparently thought their roadside ruse was funny and bragged about it on Facebook. Sadly, two elderly women — 85-year-old Mary Spangler and 81-year-old Jeanne Shea — died after driving past the concealed sign and being struck by another vehicle. Stonerock was sentenced to four years in prison for being the central culprit, while charges were dropped against Greenlee, who claimed he tried to talk his friend out of it.

"Ding, dong, ditch" was a common source of young amusement at one time, but when 16-year-old Mark Drewes engaged in the old door-to-door pastime in Boca Raton, Florida in 2003, it proved to be a deadly game. Drewes was shot to death while walking away from the home of Jay Levin, who claimed he thought Drewes was an armed intruder. 

Wedgies might be an ordinary part of childhood roughhousing, but in 2013, an underwear escapade became fatal. During an argument, 33-year-old Brad Lee Davis pulled his 58-year-old stepfather Denver St. Clair's bottoms so far up, the elastic band slipped around his neck and asphyxiated him. Davis claimed that the act was in self-defense

PRANKS GONE WRONG THAT ACCIDENTALLY KILLED PEOPLE

Adrian Broadway, a 15-year-old girl from Little Rock, Arkansas, was with her friends toilet-papering, egging, and throwing mayonnaise on a car, in retaliation for a prank someone else had pulled on her group. Unfortunately, a 48-year-old man came out of the house and opened fire on them in their car, killing her and injuring one of her friends. The shooter, Willie Noble, was later sentenced to 30 years in prison for Broadway's death.

What seemed like an innocent jump-scare became fatal in 2013 when an 18-year-old girl named Premila Lal hid in a closet at her house, knowing that a family friend was there watching over the property. She planned to surprise him by jumping out of the closet, but the house sitter, 21-year-old Nerrek Galley, was packing heat at the time — this despite playing video games with her 15-year-old brother. When he heard the noises of her entry, he grabbed his gun to investigate. Believing her to be an intruder, Galley shot the girl when she opened the door, and she later succumbed to her injuries at an area hospital.

One man's decision to suit up as Bigfoot to summon a few scares cost him his life. 44-year-old Randy Lee Tenley impersonated the elusive beast in 2012 by donning a military-style ghillie suit on the side of Kalispell, Montana's Highway 93, to spook travellers on the road into thinking they'd witnessed the sought-after animal. Instead, he was run over by two teen drivers and died as a result of his injuries.

A traffic sign antic in Circleville, Ohio became the site of a horrific crash scene in 2011 after a pair of local teens decided to wrap an intersection's stop sign in plastic and petroleum jelly, rendering it invisible to drivers. The pair, 19-year-old Seth Stonerock and 18-year-old Derek Greenlee, apparently thought their roadside ruse was funny and bragged about it on Facebook. Sadly, two elderly women — 85-year-old Mary Spangler and 81-year-old Jeanne Shea — died after driving past the concealed sign and being struck by another vehicle. Stonerock was sentenced to four years in prison for being the central culprit, while charges were dropped against Greenlee, who claimed he tried to talk his friend out of it.

"Ding, dong, ditch" was a common source of young amusement at one time, but when 16-year-old Mark Drewes engaged in the old door-to-door pastime in Boca Raton, Florida in 2003, it proved to be a deadly game. Drewes was shot to death while walking away from the home of Jay Levin, who claimed he thought Drewes was an armed intruder. 

Wedgies might be an ordinary part of childhood roughhousing, but in 2013, an underwear escapade became fatal. During an argument, 33-year-old Brad Lee Davis pulled his 58-year-old stepfather Denver St. Clair's bottoms so far up, the elastic band slipped around his neck and asphyxiated him. Davis claimed that the act was in self-defense

roach brags to everyone endlessly about this romantic date he had but then they find out it was just izzy bringing the ship’s manifest into the galley so he can eat while he works and talk to roach at the same time

Books read in November & December 2023

THE WOLF SUIT by Sid Sharp

THE BOOK OF LOVE by Kelly Link

THE PUPPETS OF SPELLHORST by Kate DiCamillo, illustrated by Julie Morstad

LITTLE ONES by Grey Wolfe LaJoie

SHARKS IN THE RIVERS by Ada Limón

MONSTRILIO by Gerardo Sámano Córdova

JOY IS THE JUSTICE WE GIVE OURSELVES by J. Drew Lanham

WORK-LIFE BALANCE by Aisha Franz

GLACIERS by Alexis M. Smith

THE GIRL WHO BECAME A RABBIT by Emilie Menzel

PORTRAIT OF A BODY by Julie Delporte

THE ROSEWOOD HUNT by Mackenzie Reed

When I interviewed V.E. Schwab for Book Riot in 2019, she said: 

“Addie is really unlike a lot of my other books. I feel like it’s one of those books that an author gets to do once in a lifetime, and I want to do it right. So it’s a little bit paralyzing. A little—very—scary.

But it’s also incredibly satisfying. Every time I finish a chapter, it feels like setting a very heavy weight down that I’ve been holding for a long time.”

I can’t wait to read her book, The Invisible Life of Addie Larue, coming out this October.

This cover is so sexy I had to tone it down with my desk llama 💥💥💥

Devouring this ARC of Melissa Bashardoust's GIRLS MADE OF SNOW AND GLASS. Feminist fairy tale, yes, please

Small Stakes: Boba Fett x gn!reader

A/N: So envision this as the same ship mechanic reader as in my fic Dragon, though it can be read as a stand alone.  Reader, Boba, Fennec and Din are all crew aboard Slave One. Reader is the ships mechanic and also mans the galley. I know almost nothing about sabacc other than what I googled while writing this. Any inaccuracies are on me. This is for Writer Wednesday, @autumnleaves1991-blog​ for this prompt:

Warnings: Gambling, alcohol use, language? mild flirting        

           "Good thing you're wearing that bucket, Djarin," you say, peering at the dark of his T-visor over your cards, "I bet you have the worst sabacc face in the galaxy.            "Spotchka's made you bold," he says, "How would you feel about upping the stakes?"

           The sounds of wind and sleet echo through Slave One's hull, gusting so hard that ship seems to rock slightly. You landed around local midnight. Boba and Din decided that no sane being would be out in this mess, and to assess the situation at first light. Fennec had produced a large bottle of spotchka and a battered sabacc deck. So now the four of you sit around a small table in the galley passing the bottle and playing cards to pass the time. None of you are exactly flush with credits, so Fennec suggested playing for favors.             "You know," said Fennec, "Things we can do for each other. Chores. Stuff around the ship." Which is how you and Din have come to facing each other down over a pile of torn flimsi scraps scrawled with various offers and counter offers. Scratched out and re-written as the game progressed. Fennec and Boba had folded relatively early and seemed to be enjoying watching the tension build between you and Din. If you win, Fennec will braid your hair all fancy like hers, holo-chess lessons from Boba, and Din has to do the cooking, 3 meals a day for 3 days. And you can deliver it to me in the cockpit just like I do for you guys, you'd snarked. Din's right, the spotchka is making you bold. Of course, if you lose, you have to soup up Din's swoop bike to his exacting specifications. But you don't think you can lose, not with what you're holding.            "Sure. Let's up those stakes," you say, "What's your offer?"            "The darksaber," says Din and everyone breaks up laughing. "Well, I had to try. Alright, ad'ika, you win, I cook for three days and I help you with those vac-tube lines."            "Careful there, Djarin," says Boba.            "If I win, you modify my swoop bike as we discussed," he says, and he somehow manages to sound smug through the modulator, "And next time we're on a planet with a decent market you make two of those jogan fruit pies you keep bragging about. One for me, and one for the rest of you di-kute."            "Done," you say, feeling a grin creep up your spotchka warmed cheeks. "I call." Din fans out his cards and lays them face up.            "Pure sabacc," he says, and you grin big, laying yours out one by one.            "Idiot's array."            "Dank farrik!" Says Din, and Fennec laughs, and pushes the bottle into your hands. You take a long, burning drink as Boba wraps an arm around your shoulders and squeezes.            "Well played, mesh'la!" He smiles big and bright, and you smile right back. You don't see Boba smile often, but when you do, you feel warm all over, witnessing a rare and fleeting thing.

           "Maker and stars, this stinks!"            "Hand me the sealant gun," you say reaching out, "And stop acting like you weren't contributing to the problem." He presses the tool into your palm.            "If I knew it was this bad..."            "S'okay," you say, "This is what I was hired on for." The lines are old. Eventually this will all need to be stripped out, but for how making sure liquid shit doesn't drip into the hull any more than it already has is a win.            "Din? Can I ask you something?" You slather the worn surfaces with sealant, hoping it will be enough the limp you along to a planet where you can get the right parts to actually fix the problem.             "Sure,"            "What does mesh'la mean? It's Mando'a right?" Din huffs laughter.            "It means beautiful."            "Really?"            "Really." You turn the answer over in your mind, sealing the small tears.           "Hand me the kicker would you? It's the little sprayer--"            "You know, me and Shand have a bet going about which one of you hut'uune will make the first move."            "Kriff. Maker and stars, I hate you both."

I've recently seen printed ARCs that brag on the back about the planned marketing push, including "75,000 copy print run!" or "100,000 copy print run!" It made me curious: how many copies in a first print run is pretty standard for a big 5 imprint vs. something they'd make a big deal about?

OK, well, one thing to understand off the bat is, an ARC (or "Advance Reading Copy" sometimes known as an ARE "advance reading edition" -- or a "galley" -- those uncorrected proofs of books that look sort of like "real" books but are paperback and given out for free sometimes?) -- that thing? It is marketing material. You probably know that, but really, just to reiterate: ARCS. ARE MARKETING MATERIAL. They are cool and all, but they are also expensive to create, and they are given to booksellers, librarians, reviewers, "big mouths" etc so that those people will hopefully buy them into their store/library, or review them, or talk them up on social media, or whatever. Great, we are on the same page, we all know what an ARC is. (A piece of marketing material!)

As such, the ARC is generally created well in advance of the book being printed or coming out -- (ADVANCE - it's in the name!) -- and, in fact, since it is meant to show booksellers etc what they SHOULD be buying for their store -- it's created in advance of sales reps even visiting the stores.

Some publishers state the "announced print run" as a matter of course, for all books, just as part of their catalogue copy. Somebody just plugs in that number, so when you are looking at the catalogue or marketing material, there's a number on there, regardless of whether it is an absurdly high number or a more reasonable number.

Some publishers never mention it at all, that I can see, or perhaps on a case-by-case basis.

So, knowing all that, know this: The "announced print run" that publishers plug in there is optimistic. It might mean that they are *prepared* to print that many -- but it doesn't actually mean they are GOING to, so that figure doesn't actually mean much at all, and I wouldn't take it as gospel. It is them spitballing, basically. If they are saying that a book has an announced print run of "250k!" -- they are saying, "we are expecting that this is going to be a HUGE BOOK" -- But even if it IS a huge book -- are they seriously going to print two hundred fifty thousand of them at once? Mayyyyyybe.... but what if the sales reps go out to push it, and only 1000 stores agree to take copies? They aren't going to take 250 copies each, you know? And they would know that way before the book was even printed. So if that was really the case, I would suspect that the actual first print run would be more modest than their optimistic projection on the marketing material. (After all, they can always reprint more if the demand is gigantic!)

What's "normal"? I have no idea, but I'd guess it depends on the book and the publisher. For big publishers, picture books might have their "announced print run" be anywhere from 15k-40k as "normal" -- novels probably have 50k-75k as "normal" -- and numbers above that (75k for a PB, 100k+ for a novel) would signal that they are expecting a LOT of demand. But frankly, 30k, 40k, whatever? That is already way more than MOST books sell in their entire lifetime, let alone upon release. If the publishers ACTUALLY printed as many copies as they SAY they are going to print... we'd all be drowning in books and there would be no more trees.

"I'm really surprised anyone tolerates you at all with all that incessant bragging, Rui."

"It's bragging with absolute truth! I am just THAT awesome! If no one tolerates it, then that's because they're insecure losers who can't handle my glory!"

"Yes, the glory of your stupidity and ineptitude."

"You want to say that to my face, Guy?!"

"Which one? The one propped atop of a stuffed shirt or the one coming out of your ass?"

Drawers pop open as knives, forks, and other sharp implements levitate out, all pointing at Guy. "YOU WANNA GO?!!?"

A ring of fire burns around the two, threatening to scorch the other man. "LET'S GO, RIGHT NOW!!"

Right on cue. "................."

They just remembered they're inside the galley. "OH SH-"

Giovanni clashes both heads together to knock them out before turning himself fully into gold. He lifts up both men with no effort before throwing them out the gun hatches. "NO FIGHTING IN MY GALLEY!!"