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traffytaffy · 5 days

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OP Men and proposing💍

Ft. Law, Kid, Sanji, Zoro.

Sorry i haven’t posted in a bit. I had like no ideas, but this was actually requested by my best friend who was going through “marriage fever” lmao.

Requests are open!

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

Law;

-Marriage isn’t something he’s concerned with but if it is something that you’ve shown interest too, then he’ll consider it. But expect a proposal after several years of being together.

-He would prefer something quiet.

-Somewhere that only you can hear the way he speaks to you in his gentle voice as he tells you everything he loves about you.

-He wont get on one knee but he would be right next to you, thigh-to-thigh, hand-in hand… as the close contact of his warmth radiates off of him and onto you.

-He would probably pick the night time so it would be more peaceful as the moon and stars are out (also so you don’t see his deep blush)

-He looks embarrassed at first but decides to just be upfront and honest.

-He would pull out a diamond ring. It wouldn’t be too extravagant,something minimal but filled with love.

“Would you…accept this? And make me the happiest man…once more?”

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

Kid;

-Marriage doesnt really pass his mind. If youre with him. You’re his, not a paper or a ring can tell him otherwise.

-I dont think he would care about the logistics of it, but he decides to take matters in his own hands once he sees someone flirting with you…

“Married?”

You nod to get the person flirting with you away…

“I don’t see a ring on ya finger”

-After…beating their ass. Kid would make you a custom ring with an engraving of you and his initials.

-Instead of getting on one knee. He just hands you the ring, his flustered face not able to meet your eyes and all he says is:

“Keep it on, you hear me?”

-And thats all you needed to hear to know you’re a married partner now…without even saying yes.

(You can not convince me he’s not a big softie)

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

Sanji;

Do i even have to say it?

He has every…little..thing… planned..

-Its Sanji, you should know he would make a proposal the most romantic gesture he has ever done.

-He’d probably buy you bushes of flowers. Petals running up and down the beach where you find a candlelit dinner waiting for you. And of course… he cooked it all.

-French wine. The best of the best.

-His suit was fresh and crisp, not one single wrinkle in its fabric. You actually felt a bit under-dressed but he assured you that you were the most beautiful thing to him no matter what you wore.

-You felt like an idiot cause out of all the extravagant dates and romantic gestures hes done for you, it took him getting down on one knee for you to finally understand what was happening.

-He has a long speech. You probably have to shut him up by giving him a kiss midway through and saying “please shut up. Of course its a yes” in a sweet and playful way obviously.

-Cause he didnt need to say every great detail about you for you to know your answer was always going to be a yes.

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

Zoro;

Probably accidentally got lost and made it to an office where he can file for marriage.

(Kidding…well maybe..?)

-He probably would propose if its something you want. As for him, its not really a big deal.

-He actually does try to plan it out to the best of his ability, asking his crew members for help.

-He loves you so much and wants this to go as planned that he even asks Sanji of all people for help. Sanji takes care of cooking a special dinner for you two.

“Im only helping you cause its for y/n”

But secretly, he wants Zoro to be happy as well.

-When it happens, you two are alone on the deck of the ship, sharing a drink after the two of you ate the dinner Sanji had made for the two of you.

-When the time of the night came that he thought was right, he is sweating profusely.

“Can i talk to you?”

-You nod and listen as your beautiful eyes stare into his, causing him to stutter.

-He doesnt have a speech or anything, he believes the words should just come to him.

But they dont.

-He pulls out the ring and looks at everything else but you.

-He holds the ring out to you while rubbing the back of his head nervously.

“Marry me?”

#one piece #trafalgar law #eustass kid #eustasscaptainkid #one piece eustass #trafalgardwaterlaw #roronoa zoro #eustass x reader #law x reader #zoro x reader #black leg sanji #sanji #sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji #one piece sanji #law x y/n

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art-that-fucks-you-up-tournament · 9 months

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SET FIVE - ROUND ONE - MATCH TWO

"Uffington White Horse" (c.1380-550 BCE) / Chauvet Cave Bear (30,000 and 32,000 BP)

UFFINGTON WHITE HORSE: its public landscape art, its from bronze or iron age and people still maintain it and this chain of people working together, even through the original purpose is lost, the art is not, the community aspect of it (anonymous)

CHAUVET CAVE BEAR: I'm not a very emotional person but there's something about prehistoric cave paintings that make me cry my eyes out. There are too many examples (please check out the Altamira cave bisons they're beautiful) but one that never fails to amaze me is the Chauvet Cave Bear. He's painting with so much care, he's only one of hundreds and thousands of paintings in this cave, many of them more detailed, colorful and dynamic than this guy, but there's something about the careful lines that the artist (bc prehistoric people were artists) put on this wall that touches me. It's put in a scene where he's hunted, he's alone, in a peaceful position, possibly rummaging through a bush. The anatomy is maybe even cartoony with its tiny ears and small mouth but it's realistic in all the ways that matter at that time, anybody could look at it and see a bear, the artist had to carefully watch this bear (or many bears) to memorize its lines, it's humps and structure and the scrounge up the materials to paint, and finally put to rock this animal they admired from a distance. The Chauvet Cave has thousands of cave bear remains, estimating 200 individuals. The cave also has a quarter of ALL cave bear depictions in pre-history. That means that whoever painted this bear not only saw one in the wild but lived alongside these animals their entire lives, their culture was deeply locked with them. There's a chamber in this cave with 50 bear skulls, all of them carefully placed. This painting shows so much care and love from people that are often depicted as brute and uncaring but they were just as capable as any current human of not only caring but DEPICTING their love. It's a beautiful early representation of our capability for admiration and cherishing things that weren't essential for basic survival. Also the artist was damn good that bear has so much expression without even having eyes, the line thickness balance is amazing. (athenasabattoir)

(The "Uffington White Horse" is a prehistoric hill figure created by trenches filled with crushed white chalk. It is 110 m (360 ft) long and is located on Whitehorse Hill in England.

The "Chauvet Cave Bear" is a prehistoric cave painting in the Chauvet-Pont-d'Arc Cave located in Ardèche, France. This cave contains hundreds of preserved figure paintings from the Upper Paleolithic time period. The central bear is 120 cm (47 in) and was painted using red pigment.)

#theyre looking at each other... in judgement... or admiration???#art that fucks you up tournament #polls #atfyu polls #id in alt text

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hotvintagepoll · 23 days

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We watched The 39 Steps yesterday ft Robert Donat and Madeleine Carroll, and my brother says "you know, they stopped making beautiful people sometime in the late 90s I think". He's really enjoyed this poll. I think he's going to start having OPINIONS when we get further down towards the semi-finals.

the hot people factory closed in the early 2000s during the bush administration 😔

#JOKE.#asks

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sanjisprincesswifey · 2 months

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Hi, can I request song 2 with luffy! I use they/them pronouns and my body preference is afab. And I’m ok with safe and nsfw.

Thx u :]

journey’s end (or falling out of love ft. luffy)

notes: emotionally intelligent luffy (so normal luffy), gender-neutral reader (though readers' gender is not specified), sfw content but cw for angst, 500+ words, thank u sm for participating!

luffy didn’t know when everything ended when the spark finally faded. he honestly thought it never would’ve. but if your captain was anything, it was truthful; he was a kind, honest man who would never want to hurt you.

but this morning, when the spring in his step no longer leaped over to you with joy and excitement, you knew there would be nothing but hurt in his wake.

you noticed it in his eyes, so beautiful and wide but carrying so much pain. they glance over to you, glazed over, no smile in sight as he asks if he could talk to you alone.

the uncharacteristic rain cloud that clung over his head burdened you with a dark, heavy feeling in your chest as you followed behind him. he had led you to the girl’s room, making sure that it was clear before he decided to speak.

“there is something i need to tell you,” he mutters, standing tall, but unable to keep your gaze.

the unfamiliar tone that is laced within each word tells you all that you need to know. your relationship over the past couple of weeks had been coasting, only luffy was brave enough to say anything about it.

you take a seat on the closest bed, legs shakey and unable to no longer keep you up, so you succumb to their will with tears already pricking in your ducts.

“i don’t want you to be mad at me,” he starts, shuffling closer to you.

you can only laugh in response, still finding his compassion as charming as ever, but you didn’t want him to beat around the bush this time. holding your hand up, you signal him to skip the niceties.

“i don’t think that i…” he glances up at you, a frown twinging his lips as if he was going to cry. “…that this relationship is going to work anymore.”

the deep breath that you had no idea you were holding in releases, along with a tear that trickles down your cheek. you nod, biting your lip gently, though it hurts you knew this was inevitable.

luffy stands there, unable to move. he so desperately wants to comfort you, gum-gum his arms tightly around your body, and assure you that everything is going to be okay. but that was the thing, he couldn’t tell you that, not when he stood here and broke your heart.

“do you not love me anymore?” you dare to ask, not wanting the answer but asking anyway.

he shakes his head, deciding that hearing probably wasn’t what’s best for you.

your head drops down, a quiet sob leaving you as your body reverberates from the actions.

a few tears of his own fall, sniffling before luffy wants to speak again. “can i hug you?” he asks, for probably the first time in your entire relationship never needing your permission to show you affection. he figured this time admission needed to be granted.

“please,” you croak, only letting out more cries when his warm embrace coddles you in the same, comforting way it always did.

it only eggs you on more when it does, in fact, help and your sobs die down until you’re sniffling on your shoulder. only this time, you knew the lingering loneliness would continue as soon as he let go.

celebrate 3,000 followers with me!

#mmm luffy angst #luffy i love u pls dont do this to me #the picture i chose is so ironic lol #monkey d luffy #monkey d luffy x reader #luffy x reader #one piece #one piece x reader

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pillow-anime-talk · 1 year

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where you go, i go.

request: i saw write for kagaya and as a simp for him, thank you! if i may, request a scenario where before the confrontation with muzan, kagaya had begged for reader to not be there with him but reader refuses. she takes a hold of his hand, bring his knuckles to her lips, pressing a gentle kiss on his hand. gently but firmly stating that he’s her companion in life. the love of her life. she will not leave him alone. she will stay right by his side no matter what may come to pass. [i had gotten the idea from the quote “we have lived together for many years. where you go, i go” of ida straus to her husband isidor straus. i think that this would suit the relationship]

# tags: scenario; current marriage relationship; soft romance; drama; mostly angst; mention of death and crying; kagaya and reader have children; sfw?

includes: female reader ft. kagaya ubuyashiki {kny}

author’s note: it was a beautiful request and i’m sorry you waited so long for it! love u, anonnie ♥

These were hard months for people, for whole Demon Slayer Corps, and most of all for you and your loved one, who buried many of his combatants, many of his ‘children’. Both you and your husband knew that it was a matter of several hours before Muzan would reach your current place of residence and start wreaking havoc and murder innocent people, destroy crops and houses, and kill animals grazing in meadows or resting in stables and cowsheds. The Demon King wanted to catch both your partner and Tanjirou’s little demon sister, and you had to be prepared for that; both mentally and physically.

Your husband begged you to take your children and hide in a safe place for you (preferably underground with a supply of food and water), to run as far away as possible from the King walking towards you and forget about what has been going on for the last few months (e.g. to find someone better, someone with whom your future will be bright and peaceful). But you were stubborn, Kagaya knew it very well.

“...I’m begging you, Y/N. Just go away and live safely without me.” The blind man turned his head in your direction and you just frowned. The chirping of the last birds reached your ears, and you muttered something unintelligible under your breath.

“... Why would I leave a person who is my whole world?” You asked rhetorically and the man only sighed in response. You were really stubborn and stuck to your point. “We have lived together for many years, Kagaya. Where you go, I go. Do you remember? We promised that to each other on our wedding day.” You smiled softly, and the twenty-three-year-old seemed to sense your changing facial expressions. His heart, though it shouldn’t have, was beating faster.

“Yes, I know, my dear. But I don’t want anything bad to happen to you and kids, you need to understand that, Y/N.” He said, listening to the wind and the sound of flowing water from the tiny stream in front of your property. The rustle of leaves and bushes was also pleasant to the ear.

You moved closer to your husband and then took both of his hands in a strong grip. Kagaya obviously appreciated the gesture, and the moment you lifted his hands to your own warm lips and placed a tender kiss on both of his hands, he understood that you would not leave him, even if you go to certain deaths. It wasn’t your style, it wasn’t in your genes.

“So let’s get through this together.” He said in a low voice so as not to wake your sleeping children at home. You nodded your head, thanking him for his understanding.

“...Let us also die together.” You replied with a confident face and then hugged the man, inhaling his characteristic, pleasant smell reminiscent of old pine and fresh peonies. “Where you are, there I am.” You said, closing your eyes, dreaming of life and a world where there are no demons, death and war. About such a life where there are only you two, your offspring, laughter and love.

It was a beautiful vision.

#— 🍓#demon slayer #demon slayer scenarios #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer x you #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba scenarios #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x you #kagaya ubuyashiki #kagaya ubuyashiki scenarios #kagaya ubuyashiki x reader #kagaya ubuyashiki x you #kagaya ubuyashiki y/n #oyakata-sama #oyakata-sama scenarios #oyakata-sama x reader #oyakata-sama x you #oyakata-sama x y/n

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nikibogwater · 8 months

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My hyperfixation of the week is Borealopelta markmitchelli, and I need all of my followers to know about it right now:

This little cutie is an 18-ft long, 3.9 ton dinosaur that was so perfectly preserved you can make out each individual scale on its hide. You can see the leathery creases on the palm of its foot. I can clearly picture this thing breathing and moving and snuffling around in the bushes with that adorable little snoot. I cannot overstate how utterly THRILLED I am just knowing that a specimen like this exists, and that there could be more like it waiting for us out there. The world is beautiful and amazing and also freakin' hardcore, I mean look at those spikes, this thing was an actual living dragon.

There's a presentation from Dr. Caleb Brown of the Royal Tyrell Museum going over all the absolutely insane stuff we've been able to learn from this one specimen and if you are anything like me and wish to have a real-life ancient monster living in your head rent-free for several days on end, I highly recommend giving it a watch on YouTube.

#niki rambles #science #paleontology #few know this about me but when i'm not dreaming about unicorns and fairy boys #i'm ruminating on ancient creatures who existed long before us

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planetknoxville · 1 year

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You’re not my dad (Johnny Knoxville x Reader ft Bam)

Under 18 do not interact

Notes: I've read every bit of Knoxville fanfiction there is so im going to have to write my own. I need this man out of my head, it's becoming a problem. The time its set is kinda around movie 2 or 3 or 4 idk who cares. It's not quite fluff, not quite smut, just a kinda fatherly Johnny because I'm a sick sick individual. I made up a character called jess she a dickhouse chick i guess just made her up cause i hate the Y/N thing lol

Warning: Blood, drinking, swearing, reckless mentally ill behavior, daddy kink if you squint, etc

Please drink responsibly

words 2400ish

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“Come on dipshit”

I looked up to find Bam standing in front of me with a cooler in one hand and both of your skateboards in the other. I knew that cooler wasn't his and would have bet this month’s salary on it containing beers he'd stolen from catering that were meant for after filming had wrapped for today.

“A bit presumptuous that I’d want to hang out with you Brandon”, You said peering over the top of the trash magazine you’d been pretending to read. The day was going very slowly, as only a few people were actually on set and the ones that were here were absorbed in work you wanted absolutely nothing to do with. So, there you were lounging in a camp chair waiting for some dumb stunt that you knew was not happening today.

“Come onnnnn..” he whined, kicking you squarely in the shin.

“You’re a menace to society” you said through gritted teeth. Sighing in resignation you rose from your chair and immediately shoving him as hard as you could. He barely stumbled and looked back at me with disbelief, “ Is that all you’ve got Jess?”

We slipped behind the sea of large blue tents that shielded the expensive camera equipment and crew from the sun. We’d been filming in the paramount lot for two weeks now, there were several air conditioned warehouses but no, the holy trio of Jeff, Spike and Johnny had decided that outside in the boiling Los Angeles heat was far better. You began to think they were really pranking you with melanoma.

Filming was usually fun but there was a lot of waiting around. Get ready and wait, they always say. Bam and I were a lot alike, both liked skating and found it especially hard to do nothing or sit still so naturally, we became fast friends. In the first couple of days of mucking around we had found a few unused (hopefully) planks of wood, a large flat sheet of plywood, some milk crates and other assorted junk which we squirreled away and started building our very own skate park. It was precarious and constantly breaking but that was half the fun. It was tucked away in the corner of the giant concrete lot, our own private death trap. Just few bushes, a metal park bench with a plaque of remembrance for some executive that probably should be forgotten and the two dickheads dumb enough to fuck around and find out.

You both started throwing beers back like it was your job. If we couldn’t do our actual jobs then we had to put our talents to good use. Technically, it was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, birds were chirping away, and sweat was dripping down your face right into your eyes.

“Fucking hell”, you moaned, using your sleeve to mop your brow blinking rapidly as the salt made your vison blurry. “Take off your jacket, Numbnuts,” Bam shouted.

“It's part of the outfit dummy” you did a little turn.

“You look homeless Jess.”

Unfortunately, it was kind of true. the black and white flannel you were wearing had more holes than you could count, the white crop was dangerously thin close to showing your nipple piercings and you'd patched up the knee of your jeans only last night. You'd done it drunk and after sticking yourself a few too many times declared it done and perfect. But you were afraid if you looked at it too close it would fall apart. The icing on the cake was the white bandana you had been wearing as a shitty ineffective mask to get past the covid police that was still tied around your neck. A plague neckerchief if you will.

"Fine" you slipped it off your shoulders. Bundling it up into a ball, you took aim throwing it at the metal bench but missed, landing it directly in the middle of a bush. “Good one” Bam sneered. You rolled your eyes behind your sunglasses, aware that he probably couldn't even see it, so you flipped him off to drive the point home.

You heard the general chatter from inside the tent grow louder and the both of you froze, looking at each other in mild panic. It wasn’t necessarily a secret what you’d been doing, people generally knew where to find us but you weren’t super keen on having soul sucking executives know about the giant liability that the two of you had created (outside of the carefully planned stunts).

“Shit” we both scrambled to throw our discarded beer bottles behind our friend The Bush.

Two men started walking around the tarps and into our janky club house. As they got closer, you both audibly relaxed. It was Spike and Johnny. “Calm down guys we’re not here to break up the party” Spike still looked annoyed “it’s not like we can go ahead anyway today”

Johnny touched him on the shoulder and said “bring the camera back here, one of these idiots is bound to eat shit" he looked over his stupid aviators at me, winking. “I’ll bet $100 it will be you Doll”.

My cheeks started to grow hot and not from the beer. How did he always know what to say, it took all your self-control not to turn and stare. Like most women alive you found him irresistible, but you were dealing with it by pretending he didn’t exist. The men continue to stand in the cool shade, chatting but also watching. You hated that. Please fuck off Knoxville let me look like shit in peace, you thought bitterly

We began skating again, trying to stick the landing of a ramp we'd built only the day before. You’d even “borrowed” the props department's power drill because Bam was moaning about going the extra mile. You took your run up and predictably the ramp bowed in middle causing you to bail half way through stumbling and tripping over your board. You could feel the four beers you’d sculled sloshing around in your stomach, cheering you on internally.

Spike started to clap slowly, jeering sarcastic encouragement “You've almost got it”

“It's looking like a really good doll” Johnny, not even trying to keep a straight face.

“This is not conducive to my success fossils” You got back on your board rolling over to the cooler. Johnny put a hand over his heart feigning emotional distress.

Cracking another beer, you saw Johnny raise an eyebrow. You'd think for a man with his history, he’d be a little cooler. “You want one Irving? You need to loosen up”.

Turning away from the death glare and back to Bam who was lining up for his turn.

“That shit is wobblier than your ass,” you whined.

Bam laughed “You're leaning into it way too much”.

“Then you fucking do it” you shoved him as you passed continuing to circle the ramp draining your beer and throwing it into the bush. It missed hitting the side of the bench breaking into a million pieces.

“Jess!!!” a chorus rang out and I raised my hands in an admission of guilt. “Don't worry baby I'll clean it up”. Snatching up and popping the top off another beer, you made a show of putting it safely on the ground out of the way. You could feel Johnny's eyes burning right through as you and Bam began to giggle uncontrollably.

“You've got this right? I’m going home” Spike clapped Johnny on the back. “I will see you both tomorrow whether or not you’re hungover” he pointed his fingers at us. Simultaneously we both sprang to attention “Sir, yes Sir” arms raised in a salute. He walked away mumbling and rolling his eyes.

“Thank god”, you cheekily beamed, “because I'm drunk as fuck”. Bam grinned back “let's hang here for a while, I've got something special”. From his pocket he pulled a silver flask. Gleefully you grabbed it, downing a huge mouthful.

“Woahhhh” Johnny shouted “You need to take it fucking easy”.

“Alright precious” You handed the flask back reluctantly.

“Did you know I used to be a gymnast?” you shouted back, “Could put my legs behind my head”. Johnny's mouth fell open in what you didn’t know was shock or disapproval. Bam barked a laugh, half of his sip coming out his mouth, the other out his nose. You patted him on the back patronizingly as he doubled over coughing still laughing.

“I can still do some of the tricks”. You launched yourself forward in a cartwheel. “I used to be able to do this thing, we called it the Hawk Tony”.

“Why?” Bam wheezed.

“Cause you skate upside down.”

Lining up with the skateboard, you took a deep breath and let the liquor flood your body with electricity. You planted my hands directly in the middle of the grip, balancing carefully and flicking your legs up vertically. A pretty decent handstand you thought for a bitch ten years out of practice. You hear Johnny let out a low whistle “Why didn't I think of that”.

“Well well look at you go” Bam said “Can you move?” As if a handstand on a skateboard was not enough? “You bet” I balanced on one hand, using the other to push off the concrete. Balancing was a lot harder than you remember and you needed to push off several times, but you did a circle around the park, stood up with only the slightest wobble, then raised your hands in a proper dismount and bowed to the now clapping Bam and Johnny.

“Jess!!! Look at yourself” Bam shouted. Thinking my shoelace had come undone I glanced down only to see scarlet droplets raining down on the concrete. I pressed my fingers to my face as if to check for a nosebleed when I saw my hand.

A bloody gash with a shard of broken glass. Beer bottle glass. "If it isn’t the consequences of my own actions”. Johnny started walking over, Bam stood motionless with an unopened bottle in his hand.

“Seriously guys don't even worry it's not that bad” you looked over at Johnny and smiling like an idiot you took two bloody fingers and wiped it over your cheek like some kind of grotesque Eye Black that footballers wore. You pulled the glass from your palm, undoing the bandana from around your neck and tying it around your hand, tightening it with your teeth.

Johnny reached his hands out for you, “Come here kid, let me look at it”. Very quickly and impulsively you chucked down your board and rode out of his grasp. “Are you shitting me, Jess? Come back here”.

“I'm fine, Mr Knoxville. It's just a scratch.” You teased. The alcohol had made you feel nothing but a warm confidence. Bam had unfrozen coming over to stand next to Johnny like two disapproving parents. “Seriously, dude. You're bleeding kinda a lot.” he said nervously.

“Oh no, someone is bleeding on the set of Jackass. What a tragedy. How will I ever survive??” You waved your hands around in the air dramatically, unaware of the blood slowly but surely dripping down your fingers. You continued skating around, deaf to their pleas to stop and come to the medical tent. You snagged another beer, this time using your teeth to open the bottle.

“You guys are being ridiculous, okay I’m fine” You downed most of the beer as a trophy for your misguided victory lap. Johnny turned to bam, whispered something to him. “What are you girls gossiping about?” You queried.

Bam nodded, got on his board and started skating around. Thinking he'd finally relaxed, you rode alongside him grinning. He was just a board length ahead of you when he sharply cut in front of you, and you had to abruptly stop, staggering sidewards. “Bam you fucking stupid cun...” Your stream of profanity cut off by legendary stuntman and actor Johnny Knoxville HOISTING you over one shoulder and hauling your bloody drunken ass towards the medic tent.

“Fucking put me down” you squeal wiggling desperately. This was the most mortifying thing you could have ever imagined, you’d rather drown in horse cum. You couldn't help noticing how effortlessly he carried you, like a ragdoll, he'd picked you up like you weighed nothing.

“Darlin, you should have come on your own when I gave you the chance”.

“Please put me down, I'll walk”. You whined now seeing the blood-soaked bandana, your head swimming from both the beer and being upside down. You could see the trail of red you’d left, staining the footpath and his white shirt where you were grasping at. He continued on his way ignoring your cries, leaving a bemused Bam to pour beer on the ground to wash away the literal crime scene you caused.

“Asshole You're not my dad”.

“Well, someone's gotta be, doll”, he drawled. God that accent, it pulsed straight to your core. You'd fantasized about him manhandling you sure but not like this. “PUT ME DOWN” you all but screamed at him. You pulled hard on his belt, hard enough to rip the stitches on his belt loops, leaving bloody smears on the white letters that spelled KNOXVILLE. You heard him hiss and then he slapped you hard, half on the butt, half on the top of your thighs. You were genuinely speechless. Humiliated and in increasingly more pain, tears filled your eyes and you finally stopped struggling.

“If I'd known spanking you would have gotten you to behave, I would have done it weeks ago” He chuckled, bending his knees slightly to enter the tent. He put you down on your feet with a shit eating grin plastered all over his smug, stupid, beautiful face. You stared at him blankly as his features blurred with the bright light they had illuminating the tent, your own head swimming and you could hear ringing. His strong muscular arms snaked out, grasping your shoulders as you swayed slightly forward, slumping your head against his chest. “Baby it’s okay, Take it easy”. He held you gently and whispered the comforting words against the top of your hair as the confused but attentive medic pulled forward a stretch for him to lay you on. You moaned at the loss of contact, cringing internally that you’d made a sound like that out loud, but he held this small smile on his lips. He grabbed your other hand and murmured into the back of it “It’s okay, I’ve got you”. As your head began clear, you started to sober up and the medic cleaned and dressed your wound, you looked over to see Johnny staring intently at you with a egotistical smirk plastered on his awful handsome face.

“What?” You groaned desperately trying to cover your face with your arm, but he held your fingers in a firm embrace. Forcing you to keep looking at him. How were you ever going to live this down.

“I guess you owe me that hundred bucks baby girl”.

#johnny knoxville #jackass x reader #jackass #bam margera #jackass imagine #johnny knoxville fic #Johnny Knoxville smut #johnny knoxville x reader #steve o #dickhouse

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oldwebmlp · 1 year

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From: http://web.archive.org/web/20020207082451/http://www.geocities.com/desertwindpony/dwsponyland.html

Text from page below the cut:

You decide to take a trip to the deserts of Arizona. You stop for a rest at a small truck stop called Fort Courage, AZ. After you eat you put gas in your car and while you are putting your gas cap back on you notice a movement in the sage bushes about 75 yards from the gift shop. You rub your eyes and look again and see something run from behind a large sage to behind another sage. You think, "Wha--?". You could swear you just saw a small yellow...horse? You go in and pay for your gas and look out onto the desert again and sure enough, there it goes again! You start walking toward it, climb over the stout fence dividing the truck stop from the desert and keep walking. You seem to almost be under some kind of control. A sharp hot wind blows through your hair suddenly. You swear you hear a whinny as you get closer. All of a sudden something jumps out at you! "BOO!!" it screams, and starts to profusely giggle. You just about have a heart attack! Your eyes focus and you realize it's a shoulder-high PONY staring at you with a huge grin! She is yellow with orange and turqouise hair and some kind of brand on her rear that appears to be an orange sun with a sillouette of a howling coyote in front of it. "Am I going crazy?!" you mutter to yourself. "This can't be real!" You slap yourself in the face to wake up from this odd dream. The pony chuckles. "What are you doing that for?". You start to back nervously away. "This isn't real, I am halucinating! Man, they said mirages are a problem in the desert, but WOW!" The Pony grins and walks up to you and nips you on the butt. You jump and yell "HEY!!!". "See? I'm real!" the pony giggles. You collapse onto your butt in the sand and cup your head in your hands. "Okay, so you are, but what are you? What is this?!" "My name is Desert Wind," the pony begins. "I am a My Little Pony. I live in this desert and I have a vacation home in Ponyland--" You interrupt, "Hold on! That can't possibly be true!" "Oh, but it is!" laughs Desert Wind. "I will show you!" Desert Wind lightly puts her hoof on your foot and squeezes her eyes shut. You become scared, not knowing what she's doing. Suddenly Ft. Courage and your car disppear and you are in a beautiful green, lush valley. Above you towers a huge pink castle and off to the left stands what looks like a ritzy mansion. You notice several other structures, something that looks like a giant baby's building block, a huge perfume bottle. Your mind swims and you feel weak. "Hi Desert Wind!" you hear several voices yell. You realize that literally hundreds more of these Ponies and several other creatures are running up to you. You can't believe what you're seeing! "I have brought a new friend," Desert Wind announces with a little giggle. "Let's give a tour!" another Pony yells. "Welcome to Ponyland!" several of them announce.

#old web #geocities #mlp #screenshot #queue

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eliounora · 10 months

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re:your tags on your latest post - i'm taking you up on your offer, what are your favorite songs!

AH YES a task for me! here in somewhat of an order but not really:

joanna newsom - time, as a symptom: I love all of joanna newsom but this one is my favourite because it thematically speaks to me. I love thinking about time

the cranberries - dreams: this song has actually only recently really reached me, maybe because my studies are ending and my life is changing every day in every possible way...

judy collins - albatross: this is honestly just such a vibe

you were there from ICO: ICO is one of my favourite games and I loooove this song, I always love a good boy soprano

talking heads - this must be the place (naive melody): I have a bit of a conundrum with this because I wouldn't call this my favourite song overall from talking heads (my favourite band) but it is a nice and genuine song which speaks to me

peter gabriel ft. kate bush - don't give up: heartfelt. timeless. always topical. encouraging. you're not beaten yet.

fear a bhata: one of the most beautiful melodies ever and a lovely, lovely rendition

fleetwood mac - tusk: the logic here is that I love fleetwood mac and this is my fave song from them

enya - caribbean blue: I remember when I heard this as a kid for the first time I was mesmerised and I still am. if every man was trueee

oro mo bhaidin: irish music is the best, what can I say. I think I was an irish sailor in a past life

karjalan kumbuzil: this is a popular folk song from my own culture! I sing this all the time (in finnish though, I cannot speak karelian, but I want to include the karelian version for awareness reasons haha!)

#i think what we can take away from this is that i love funky rock and lone women wailing #HONESTLY i could go on and on i LOVE music!!

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art-that-fucks-you-up-tournament · 8 months

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SET FIVE - ROUND TWO - MATCH ONE

"Cueva de las Manos (Cave of Hands)" (created in several waves between 7,300 BCE and 700 CE) / Chauvet Cave Bear (30,000 and 32,000 BP)

CUEVA DE LAS MANOS: its so basically human. the hunting and animal scenes are strangers to the every day life of many people, but this hasnt changed. this art makes me want to put my hand outline next to theirs and become part of it. (anonymous)

("Cueva de las Manos" (Cave of Hands) is located in Santa Cruz, Argentina and consists of outlines of hands, as well as some depictions of animals and hunting scenes created using various mineral pigments and gypsum on rock. The paintings cover about 60 m × 200 m (200 ft × 650 ft) of the cave.

#art that fucks you up tournament #polls #atfyu polls #more cave paintings for you to agonize over!!!#id in alt text #look at all the hands that want to pet the bear

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prosebyday · 7 months

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Glacier National Park

Grazia Curcuru

7/8/23

Grinnell Glacier, Many Glacier, Glacier National Park

I felt unstoppable today hiking the iconic Grinnell Glacier hike, my watch recorded 40k steps and Gaia recorded 13.6 miles, it was supposed to be 10.6 miles but I chose to hike down to Lake Grinnell at the bottom after hiking up to Upper Grinnell , because the lake looked so beautiful. I didn’t get any blisters but my toes were sore and as soon as we got to the lake I dipped my toes in the water. I felt amazing for hours after. A few hours later I felt the stiffness set in, I had to get ice out of the cooler for my knees because I couldn’t really move.

7/9/23

Lake MacDonald, West Glacier, Glacier National Park

We rested our legs and rented kayaks on Lake MacDonald in West Glacier after an early morning drive along Going to the Sun Road. It felt amazing to still explore while resting my sore muscles. I got to exercise my muscles that don’t get used on a hike. We walked the tourist trap shops, lined with Huckleberry jams, syrups, flavored coffees, all claiming to be “fought from the claws of grizzly bears.” They even sold scented tshirts, which did not seem very bear safe in an environment where we needed scent-proof bear bags for our food, lipbalm, sunscreen, a bear lock on our bear proof cooler, and bear spray on us at all times. I bought a Glacier National Park patch, like I do at every national park I’ve done a “deserving” hike at, because it makes me feel like a Girl Scout. I plan to sew them on a denim jacket. I picked the prettiest patch, with mountain goats, lakes, meadows, wildflowers – even though it had mountain goats – one of the few animals I hadn’t seen here yet. The lady at the register told me I can’t wear the patch until I see a mountain goat. I had one day left and knew I had to find one.

It was brutally hot and sunny, so we went back to Lake MacDonald. There were children paddleboarding, insisting they’d “found a barrel” and they “think it’s full of oil.” The beach wasn’t sandy, it was formed with smooth small rocks. The water was crystal clear and warmed by the afternoon sun. The view of the mountains we kayaked towards hours earlier was directly in front of us as we swam and enjoyed the water, sharing giggles, a child laid face down on the hot rocky beach to “work on his tan.”

7/10/23

Pitamaken Pass, Two Medicine, Glacier National Park

Pitamaken Pass was the most intensely grueling, gorgeous, and insane hike I’ve ever been on. There was so much exposure on the edge of the mountains, with a narrow trail and talus (loose rock), that tumbles under your feet down the side of the mountain. But it was a TRAIL, so it was still one of the least dangerous mountain hikes I’ve been on, because it’s maintained. There were gorgeous wildflower meadows and these funny white “bear paws” everywhere, they look like giant q-tips and only bloom every 5 years.

The trail changed so much over the 18 miles we hiked, from dense forest, muggy, humid and lush with brush; to trickling rivers with meadows, juniper, bushes, butterflies and red rocks; to walking along the rich blue of Old Man Lake. Then the slog of climbing up 1,000ft over a mile and 3,200 ft of elevation gain total (with a lot of up and down, which makes it feel like you’re never making progress). My brain was throbbing in my skull, rapid pulse, and swaying balance. I thought it must be dehydration or electrolytes, I told Adam I thought I was going to be sick, it was over an hour before I realized we had maxed out our altitude for this trip so far ~8,000ft, after only sleeping at ~5,000ft. So I carried on, tossed some Propel electrolyte mix in my Nalgene and took my shirt off to cool down, all in measures not to pass out, but also kept moving because the sun was beating down. There was no breeze or shade, but I hoped there would be both on the other side of the Pass. It didn’t come as quickly as I needed it, but as a breeze picked up once we got to the top – so did my dizzying headache. Once we got to the Pitamaken overlook on the continental divide, I sat on a slab of marble and ate some trail mix in the shade.

The next 3 miles of the trail looked like a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Our footsteps clashed like we were breaking tiles on the shrapnel of sedimentary rock. The rocks above and around us were flaky and layered like good pastry, but horrifying to walk on as they crumble around you. Beneath us was a steep drop down to the vibrant greens of pine forests, cool alpine lakes and trickling rivers, juxtaposing the crumbling gray and brown rocks we balanced and wobbled on. As I rounded the corner, I saw a scruffy white goat in the distance on top of the pass with mountains behind it. It didn’t look anything like the long-haired, fluffy rocky mountain goat you see in all the Glacier National Park merch, but July is shedding season. I took a picture and 4 more goats appeared and started grazing… on what, I don’t know, since I can’t recall anything growing at that altitude. I finally saw my mountain goat, 5 mountain goats.

Storm clouds rolled in and it’s dangerous to be above the treeline in a storm. I picked up the pace, but the descent proved to be steeper and looser – it’s tricky to get traction on loose sand. The next few miles were a blur, a race against a storm. Eventually, I saw juniper next to my boots and looked up - I made it to a meadow, where things can grow! And I saw trees nearby. As I entered dense brush again, it was hot and humid, I was overheating and stripping layers. The dark clouds brought us some cooling shade and a light sprinkle, but it didn’t last long before the sun, heat and humidity were back and worse than ever. I was so hungry and sore and tired but I just wanted to get out so I kept my pace.

Once we started bumping into older adults with trekking poles and no water or backpacks, I knew we were close because we parked near a campground. I took off my boots and socks, stood in a cold river to ice my swollen toes and watched a wedding party take pictures with the mountains while I ate trailmix, dirty and sweaty.

#glacier national park #national park #hiking #day hikes #travel journal #car camping #mountain goats #montana #nature #wildlife #camping #backpacking #backcountry #writing #travel blog #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writer

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