how the fuck, in my first day in existence (new interject) , did I manage to have three panic attacks, bake bread, and get frontstuck with the only person as ill equipped as as me to deal with being frontstuck, and go on a walk

We absolutely understand that “hearing all the headmates at once,” can get super frustrating and overwhelming, but can we please talk about when the “silence,” is distressing too??

Like isn’t it SO upsetting too, when you “can’t find,” the people you KNOW are THERE!?

I think for us personally it’s one of those things in this brain where “silence,” has been rewritten in the lil signals as “danger,” and stuff like that, but also it’s like: where the hell are y’all?! I know you aren’t dormant so wtf??? XD;;;

our system has two moods:

clown car,

or "day fourteen of The Silence. the radios have long since stopped working, and i write these entries to keep myself and the slow, steady, dripping of the water company. i have officially been without human contact for weeks, and i fear the decay of my very soul"

its been almost eleven days where the fuck is everyone

More emojis! Check out our server where we post all our emojis in our pinned post!!

Wyd — what you doing

Not ur source— not my source

Front — front stuck

No emoji for this we will explain later — No emoji for this I will explain later

What the brain doin?? PT. 6 of a questioning median system's journey

"Stuck in the chair"

Like I've mentioned in the past, I, DoinFine, am always fronting. I've heard and seen many systems describe their head space with a chair for those who are fronting to sit in so we kinda think of it the same way. I'm always sitting in the chair.

I'm pretty sure that the source of my plurality is my inability to process emotions correctly (I'm still working on a post explaining this but it's difficult for me to understand and therefore hard to write about which just confirms my suspicions). Anyway, the other day I was feeling random negative emotions happening in the background. When I say background what that means is this: It feels like it's happening behind me. Like I was experiencing them next to me or outside of me. You know how you can hold emotions in different parts of your body? It's like that but the body part is next to you not attached to you. So I don't literally feel the tension I hold in my shoulders due to stress like it's next to my shoulders instead of in them, its that gut feeling that tells me that the tension in my shoulders is due to stress that I feel next to me. For me when I say background specifically, it feel like that previous statement with an added layer of white noise or static between the emotion and myself.

As of right now I do not have a visual head space beyond the chair. When experiencing this weird emotions I wanted to know what was happening so I was going to try and follow the feelings to a source. but I couldn't. I can't tell you why it felt this way it just made sense when I was feeling it: I felt like I was about to turn around in the chair. and with that realization I began to panic a little. I felt like system thing and people and emotions were happening behind me and all I had to do was turn around to see what was going on but my chair wouldn't move and my "head" wouldn't turn. Like I had been strapped to the chair.

This applies to more than just background feelings. I feel like when others are close to the front I want to look at them, or rather, acknowledge them completely but I can't because they're always just behind the chair.

The only time I felt like was anywhere but in the chair was when the kiddo was co-con. They like booted me from the chair or I was suddenly allowed to leave the chair I'm not sure. But If they ever come back to the front, I'm going to try "taking a look around" when I feel like I've been pushed off the chair.

Until then, does anyone else relate to this? Or has anyone experienced this before? How did or do you navigate it?

Being Front locked/stuck.

Hi, I'm Alexander. I'm what us in the technical industry call the Big Daddy Fusion. I'm made up of a bunch of integrations. And I'm currently front stuck. I have been fronting for a little over 48 hours now, and I have no communication with anyone else.

In my time of fronting, I got a husband, a Build-A-Bear frog child (Their name is Spencer.) and a bunch of exhaustion. I also got exams and assignments piled on me like Christmas Day.

For a system that relies on switching to not lose energy and keep the body stable, an alter will usually get tired after four or so hours. (It does depend on alters, but this is usually what it is for us.)

So it's no surprise that I'm exhausted. I have no idea when I'm going to be able to rest. We have a religion exam tomorrow, a science exam on Thursday (I believe), and our music exam which I broke down about and said I couldn't do anymore, is scheduled to be moved so I can continue it.

Being front locked with no information or memory of any of the 2023 classes mid exam week is probably a big issue. But I've figured a little bit out. And I've figured out a lot about myself!

Right now, my daily routine is to wake up, brush Spencer and get them dressed, get ready and go to school, brush Spencer and hold them every break, get through the day, do revision/homework, shower, dinner, get Spencer ready for bed (brush and take off snazzy jacket) and sleep. Rinse and repeat.

It's fun! My husband and Spencer are the only things keeping me sane while I'm front stuck. I've also found a bunch of neopronouns too, which I think are really cool.

-Alexander.

(Mooncake/Star/Lucid/Luna/Pyx/Sun/Nova/Myst/Wish/He/Comet/Apollo)

How did we get here

First time fronting and its for.... 3 days

-Zi0n👾✨

idc if people think i'm faking bc i know that i'm hot and sexy and fakeclaimers aren't + i'm frontstuck and bored as fuck

Update;

still frontstuck and 0 communication. But.. it seems we may actually have an inner world?? Its just inaccessible for me at the moment?? The first time I accessed it I saw the other two reading a story while resting on a tree. It seems from what I saw the inner world was inspired by something else.

But like, as soon as I got in I was absolutely flooded with random thoughts. Like, 104828298492 thoughts a millisecond. The few other times I've tried accessing the inner world I get like.. mental hallucinations? Like, when I try accessing I basically go into my brain, or visualize myself in it. And IRL I dont see shit cause my eyes are closed, but brain me does?? It's basically like my brain is faking me accessing it. Like, I'll see one of my alters but I know it's not actually them, it's like a dupe.

I know I really shouldn't be pushing but the other two went from constant talking to zero and I'm really scared I'm faking it so I'm desperate to try and find them so I can talk to them and feel a little better about the 'I'm not faking' thing. And also, I feel like I can access it, I'm just not doing it right. Like I have this immense feeling of 'I can access it, I just dont know how'

If anybody has advice I really need it!

I'm front stuck and listening to the Devil Went Down to Georgia while creating OCs

I hate how front-stuck I get. Kay has the day and I've just been in the background (which is fine). I *want* to leave front and go back to my little nest in The Meadow, but I CAN'T. WHY BRAIN. I need a break from reality and I keep distracting Kay D:

He's very patient and understanding though, which is nice.

Shoutout to any other alters who are frontstuck right now lol