playing kingdom hearts for first time ever. its a cute game, but my big issues is that i give negative shits about a find the girl plotline when the girl in question has the character agency of a cardboard cutout

I have a theory about the Doomstar in DSR granting Dethklok their powers. Is this also true for Nita and would she be getting the same power from something similar, or perhaps the Doomstar itself?

Get ready for a marathon question-answer-a-thon because I'm sick and it's helping me pass the time, goofballs!

So, I think in answer to the above, it's a solid maybe. I don't want to come off as knowing more than I know (which is very little to begin with in a lot of respects, hurr) but the theory you've posed, I believe is widely speculated as canon or practically canon. To me at least, it looked like the Doomstar was imbuing Dethklok with... well... something. And if that's going to lead to what most fans commonly refer to as their "god powers" or whatever coming to light, then it won't surprise me.

As for Nita, she isn't a God, if that's the implied question, here. But where she gets her powers from would potentially be the same source (whatever that is). Regardless, I don't think I'll explore that until we get some solid answers from the finale, if we do. For now, though, I'm on the side that assumes your theory is correct as it pertains to Dethklok, at least. Ask anyone -- I'm always on board for supermassive celestial entities going about distributing raw power to metal bands.

And it appears you have two questions in my pile, @hercannonyourface

Yes.

Caja is her legal name before she decided to shorten it to its male form, Caj. Skwisgaar might be doing this because he's known her since she was using her feminine name, or he might be doing it to be a dick.

As a writer, I just think it's great point of interest that she's genderfluid enough to give zero shits when Toki refers to her as 'he/him' with her preference being 'she/her' (and that the script for the very next update will see her apparently referring to herself as 'daddy'), but it drives her batshit insane that Skwis still calls her Caja.

Here again, I don't want to confirm any false assumptions that I know more than I do. I am using the Falconback logo in parts of this story as a sort of branding, and not a real allusion to the project as a whole. I feel it's just easier when it comes to plot devising to utilize it as something easily associated with General Crozier (at least, for the audience... frankly I'm damn impressed Pickles' fuzzy brain was on it enough to put the fact that he saw it on a missile's casing, and again on Cherry's tracking device, together).

tl;dr: We won't see the actual Project Falconback in this story. It's too early for it. But here again, since we know how season 2 ended, I've left it open enough to allow for the conclusion of canon to happen without anything within dethkomic getting in the way. At least, I hope I did. Watch us get a "it was all just a cocaine dream" or something for an ending. okay, I'm gonna shut up and not will that into existence, right now

Oh, for sure. Can't put out fever dream art and leave people hanging.

When it comes to knowing a little bit more about the girls in general, you're going to get a lot of back-stories right out of the gates once I start chapter four, here. I realize I have a lot of ground to cover in what I'm planning to be just 25 pages of 'komic left to go, and I don't want to have all the breadcrumbs I've been leaving lead to nothing.

You might be able to discern a few things from just the questions I've answered here, in fact, but I promise there's a lot more on the table, and I do have a script laid out that takes it somewhere. That goes for all corners of this question and what it could mean: The girls themselves, their mission and what it really is, as well as their connection to Dethklok on the prophecy front.

That's all I've got the brain power for, for now., gang Thanks for your questions as always, and remember... Dethkomic loves you!

#8

Don’t often include trigger warnings but this includes (mild) self-harm and mental health shit. You’ve been warned

Probably going to be a long one this time. It’s been a while since the last one (at least it’s felt like ages), doesn’t affect much anyway. Uni exams all done, my time is coming to an end for first year. Back home, smiles, drinks and making more drunk mistakes- what more could a 19 year old physics student want?

So, a lot of shit has happened, as you’d expect. I got a very interesting book called Radio Silence by Alice Oseman and holy fuck, did it wreck me. For context, the only other Oseman content I had read before this was Heartstopper (web-comic then netflix show) and I thought it was alright, loved the art style. But, wow, she writes incredibly. I haven’t cried in over a decade and that book made me have to hold back full on sobs. I had to put it down several times to curl up into a ball and try and block out the avalanche of noise, the tirade of life bearing down on me. I am convinced I had some kind of mental episode as I ended up balling up a fist and pounding it into my desk again and again until the feeling of air on my knuckles caused me to wince, the mere idea of twitching a finger caused me agony.

Quick break- I am not mentally ill. I have never exhibited any mental symptoms before this nor since. I can’t explain why or justify myself, I just felt the urge to let it all out while reading it. In that sense, Radio Silence was one of the most cathartic books I’ve ever read. I promptly bought Solitaire and Loveless and read them in similar “all-at-once” fashions but without the whole going completely fucking insane. Reading this all back, I seem like a troll or an attention-seeker. I promise, I am only the latter, my previous posts are more than enough evidence of that. The worst part is, I don’t know exactly what about Radio Silence caused it to happen. I don’t relate to any of the characters that much (no more than other fictitious characters) and the plot has no resemblance of my life or experiences other than I’m a first year uni student.

It scared me. I scared me. It was such a rush of emotions from nothing and, believe me, I have reread that book three times in as many days (and yes, I got it three days ago). I have had similar reactions each time but I managed to avoid pulping my fist on each re-read. I have found no particular character, plot development or even sentence that had any cause to distress me so. All I know is, that book causes me to slowly build tension in my body until it all comes out and ruins me. I didn’t sleep at all yesterday and I’m writing this at 1:05 am at the uni football pitches working on around 40 hours since I last slept.

For christs sake, I relate to Georgia Warr more than Aled, Frances or Daniel yet for some fucking reason, I can’t let it go. Yeah, apologies that this blog became a kind of fucked up book review/ rant. For what it’s worth, the book is incredible and I cannot describe my experience as negative, only very confusing but very, very interesting. 9/10 because I cannot justify self harm.

Now, I’m forced to question my mental health. I’m hoping it was just a one-off, freak accident caused by decades of bottling up my emotions (#toxicmasculinityftw) but I can’t call myself a self- respecting physicist and write something off as a “random error”, especially when that something is as big as this. Maybe I do relate to Frances or Aled or Daniel more than I thought I did and I just didn’t realise it. Maybe I just got so immersed in the writing style that I just felt so empathetic towards the characters (especially Aled) that I couldn’t help it? Honestly, who knows and, frankly, speculation on a bench at 1:13 am will get me no where. I passed several parties of people on my way here, all presumably celebrating exams end and I couldn’t help but wonder if I envied them or if I’d sooner shoot myself than be in such an environment. Maybe it’s all to do with company.

Sorry, getting too speculative again. All I know is, I need to read Radio Silence again, Alice Oseman is a phenomenal writer and their writing style is just so relatable (maybe that’s how 50’s kids felt when they read Catcher in the Rye? Idk, I enjoyed it but the writing was “so phony” and it “killed me”). Regardless, more research is needed, I’ve never felt more confused (and that’s coming from someone who still isn’t sure of their sexuality) and I need some chips. Until next time!

hey so, i’m now officially gonna make a slow return onto here - it’s been well over a month, and frankly i missed being on here. i guess i should give a lil update on my life for those who care, but i’ll get the rp parts outta the way first and put the rest under read more.

TL;DR, other than the starters people have written for me that i’ve yet to reply to, i’m dropping all my threads. i just really need a fresh start right now, and given that i’m going into a Master’s degree that’s in the English department, i’m not sure how well i’m going to be able to keep up with my more plot-heavy threads. i hope people see this as an opportunity to throw new ideas at me, and i hope to interact with some of the people who’ve recently followed me, so i feel like starting anew is the best way to go about it. 

for those who’ve left me asks, i’ll do my best to work through them. i may have to delete some, especially if they’re in reference to things that happened while i was gone, so please don’t take it personally. i’m just trying to take things at my own pace and time. i hope you all understand.

now, onto where the fuck i’ve been this past month and a bit.

so, back in late July, i was faced with a situation i was hoping i wouldn’t have to deal with, but nonetheless had anticipated - in searching for a place to live in for the school year with friends, they all bailed out on me. all their reasons were valid, but it put a crazy amount of stress on me, because i was already dealing with trying to get myself a car and the insurance for it. so i poured all of my energy into finding a place before i’d be forced to settle on a room i’d hate. 

for two weeks, i had to travel between my home city and the city the university was in to do viewings, which typically was a full day sort of ordeal. not that i didn’t do so beforehand with my friends, but it was taxing and frankly costed me a decent amount of money, especially when a lot of the places i initially looked at were incredibly shitty. i am so fortunate that i found the place i’m in now - sure, the room’s small, but the place is newly renovated, the rent’s cheaper than everywhere else i looked at, my roommates are very nice people, and it’s close to the university. 

when i had that out of the way though, i still had to deal with getting a car. my mom had been flip-flopping for WEEKS about whether or not she wanted to give me hers or not, but finally she did, which honestly ended up saving me a lot of money. dealing with the insurance had been a fucking nightmare though, and it’s actually still ongoing, but it should be resolved by the end of this week. during that time though, my mom had done absolutely nothing to help my stress, because there was potential that i had to stay with my parents for longer than i wanted to, since the car was still needed to get my brother to work, as well as needed for my mom to travel around to find herself a new car. the situation ended up being way more ideal than what my mom had projected, but still, you can imagine how much that sucked for me.

now, during this time, i had the brilliant idea of getting back into the dating pool. i ended up downloading a few apps, and met a guy that i really hit it off with - we’d talk pretty regularly on Discord, and we even went on a few dates. he had so many similar interests with me, was insanely intelligent, and he treated me with so much respect. by the second in-person date, i’m not gonna lie, i was head over heels for him. we even talked about him visiting me every weekend once school started up again, which was way more effort than any of my exes had ever put into me. 

but then, just a few days before i’d officially move into my new place, he messaged me saying he wasn’t ready for a relationship. even though we weren’t official or anything of the sort, it devastated me. i understood his reasons though, and we agreed to stay friends. sometimes it still hurts to think about, but i’m slowly but surely getting over it. we’ve sent each other the occasional message since then, but nothing more than that. 

i’ve also deleted all those apps since then -  i’m not sure how long it’s going to be before i’m okay with opening myself up like that to another person.

it wasn’t all bad though. i went to a wedding with my best friend, and her entire friend group from her hometown has basically accepted me as one of them - they’ve even invited me to join them in their yearly cottage trip that they’re hoping to have next year. i also got to meet up with an old friend from high school - even though it had been literally 3 years since we last saw each other, it felt like no time had passed at all. i got to see some family members that i also hadn’t seen in years, and just yesterday, i helped a friend move into a new place.

overall, the past month and a bit has been one hell of a rollercoaster for me. i hope things will be relatively more manageable, especially when my mental health is in such a fragile state - i need some healing, and part of that includes coming back here and doing what i love most. interacting with you all.

if you’ve read through this all, thank you. i promise i’m doing much better now, and i hope to get back into the swing of things soon enough. <3

“I can’t believe you convinced me to stay here instead of going to that party. Seriously. Where’s King Steve? Is he still in there?” Y/N asked jokingly knocking lightly on his head.

“Oh. Ha. Ha, Y/N. I just don’t feel like going out tonight.”

“Steve, it’s Halloween. Why wouldn’t you want to go out tonight? Scared the demogorgon is gonna get ya?” Y/N joked.

“Frankly, yes. It has almost killed both of us multiple times. I have no clue how you can still joke about that to be honest.”

“Oh come on! It’s fine! We aren’t dead! We’ve got to do something tonight. It’s Halloween and we’re sitting in your house watching The Poltergeist. Is this what you want to do with your life, Steve? Really? Is it?”

“Is there something that isn’t quite attached in your head, Hopper? You are insane. Where’s El by the way? Halloween is busy for cops. I thought you were supposed to be babysitting.”

“She said she was going to hang out with Max. Dad said she could. She’s spending the night there.”

“What’d you tell him?” “What do you mean?” “Your dad wouldn’t let you come over here on Halloween night. What’d you tell him?” 

“Uh…I totally said I was coming here.” “You told Nancy to cover for you, didn’t you?”

“What?! No! How dare you accuse me of something so sinful as lying to the chief of police. Shame, Steve. Shame.” He gave her a look.

“Fine. I said I was staying with Nancy.” She gave in.

“And what if Karen figures out what’s going on?” Y/N laughed at him.

“Oh my god. You’re kidding right? Mike literally hid El in his basement for like months and you think that Karen Wheeler is going to find out that her daughter is covering for her friend who is staying at her ex boyfriend’s house? I truly believe that this situation is much to confusing for her or Mr. Wheeler to grasp. Truly.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Whatever. What do you wanna do other than go out where we can potentially die.”

“You always have the potential to die. We’re two teenagers alone in a house on Halloween ‘studying’ and watching a horror movie in the dark. Next thing you know, a serial killer is gonna stroll into this big ass house and proceed to kill us, take out all of our organs, and sell them on the black market.”

Steve looked at her in disgust. “You are such a pessimistic human being. Did you know that? I swear to God if we’re murdered tonight, it’s your fault.”

She gave him a sarcastic smile. “Who said that we are going to die? For all you know I’m the killer. Plot twist!”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Seriously though what do you want to do?”

Y/N gasped in excitement. “Let’s go TP someone’s house. It’ll be fun. I promise.”

“You are an absolute child. Do you know that?”

“Yes. That’s what makes me so awesome.” She jumped off the couch and went to the bathroom grabbing around five rolls of toilet paper and shoving them in her backpack.

“Are you coming?”

“Fine. One house, but then we are going to the store, buying a bunch of candy, and coming back here. Got it?”

“Yes, sir! Let’s go! Come on!” She pulled on his arm. Steve followed her reluctantly.

They drive to a random house on a random street and hoped for the best.

“One for you and one for me.” She said handing him a roll. They began throwing the rolls on the trees and one on the roof, then they heard sirens.

“Well, shit. I’m caught.” She shrugged.

“I told you that this was a bad idea, but no! You never listen to me! You go, ‘Oh, but Steve, it’ll be fun! And look at me I’m too pretty for you to tell me no!’ Now look where we are!”

“I would never call myself pretty! Insecurities in teenage girls is a real thing ya know! But thank you for the compliment.”

Hopper got out of his truck and looked at the two with his arms crossed. “Really miss ‘I’m at the Wheelers! I’d never do anything wrong!’ That’s what you went with?”

“You two have terrible impersonations of me.” Y/N stated.

“Honestly I didn’t expect any better from you, but really, Steve? Really?”

“Look, I tried to stop her, but when she tells me stuff like scenarios about how I could be killed in my own house and how she could kill me just as easily as a demogorgon, I tend to want to leave my house!”

“Sometimes I wonder about you, kid.” Hopper said. Y/N shrugged.

“So what now? We going to juvie for the night or what?” Steve elbowed her.

“Ow! What was that for?!”

“No. Just go home, and I’ll deal with it alright? And maybe actually go to Nancy’s this time? I’ll be calling Karen in about an hour to check up on you, so you better be there.”

“Fine. Bye! Talk to you tomorrow!”

“Don’t forget to pick up El in the morning!”

“I won’t! Love you!”

“Love you too! Have fun!”

“Honestly, dads. He was totally overreacting, am I right?”

“No. No, you’re just certifiably insane, but sure we’ll go with that.”

The Not So Scary Haunting of Sarawat Guntithanon— Chapter 1

Fandom: 2Gether

Pairings: Sarawat/Tine

Summary: Sarawat Gay Panics 24/7 over his new roommate (who, by the way, might be a ghost, which is weird on so many levels but whatever, if a man wants to thirst over the supernatural being haunting his apartment so be it!)

Word Count: 1621

Notes: i'm not even excited for 2gether the movie yet here i am, posting another sarawatine fic. basically our boy Sarawat gay panics every single minute of every single day because the ghost who is haunting his apartment is pretty. that's it. that's the plot. just sarawatine being dumb, mutually pining idiots.

Read the first chapter on Ao3 or down below!

+

How was it possible that a disembodied voice could sound so... god damn enticing and lovely? At first, Sarawat found himself pressing his body deeper into his bed but after getting over to his initial shock and fear he allowed himself sometime to appreciate the sound of it. Although his heart was in his throat, Sarawat could not deny the wave of comfort that filled his veins, from his finger to his toes warm spread through his body.

Which was weird—and frankly crazy. Ghosts can possess people, right? Or kill them? Sarawat wished he paid more attention to all the horror movies Man and Boss dragged him to because maybe then he wouldn’t be laying in bed, already whipped, ready to drop down on knee. Hand in marriage sir, please give me your hand in marriage.

He should be terrified of this figure, not lowkey turned on.

Curse Sarawat and his inability to function around attractive boys. Curse this motherfucking hot as heck ghost and his stupid dimples.

Sarawat awakes to a blurry and translucent figure hovering mere inches from his face.

The next day he swears to Man and Boss that the reason he remains frozen was because of fear and not because he was having a full on gay panic attack... over a ghost. That’s what this person was, right? A ghost? He was a rationale adult but he had enough brain cells to connect all the dots.

Sarawat sucks in a deep inhale of breath, allowing his eyes to burn every line, curve, and dip of this mysterious figure's face.

The dim light of his bedroom combined with the near translucent nature of the figure meant that Sarawat never was able to get a clear idea of what this ghost looked like. Just the glimpses he did get left his throat dry and heart pounding rapidly.

The figure had a closed mouth smile etched across his features, all soft pink lips and crinkly eyes and dimples. Sarawat briefly thought of leaning forward to press his fingertips against those pink lips just to see if they were as soft as they looked. But then he realized that was insane and weird so instead he just beat that thought away with a stick. Gay thoughts: be gone! Don’t you dare become a simp over a motherfucking ghost.

The bottom half of his face was crystal clear which was both a blessing and curse while his top half looked as if it was about to flicker away at any moment. Sarawat was positive that this was abnormal, but then again this was his first encounter with a ghost so maybe it was, in fact, normal? It’s not as if he was given a manual or anything.

He couldn’t quite tell what shade of brown this mysterious figures eyes but he allowed his brain to imagine that it was probably vivid, just like the rest of his face. He was debating on the actual shade when he a disembodied voice spoke.

“Hello.”

How was it possible that a disembodied voice could sound so... god damn enticing and lovely? At first, Sarawat found himself pressing his body deeper into his bed but after getting over to his initial shock and fear he allowed himself sometime to appreciate the sound of it. Although his heart was in his throat, Sarawat could not deny the wave of comfort that filled his veins, from his finger to his toes warm spread through his body.

Which was weird—and frankly crazy. Ghosts can possess people, right? Or kill them? Sarawat wished he paid more attention to all the horror movies Man and Boss dragged him to because maybe then he wouldn’t be laying in bed, already whipped, ready to drop down on knee. Hand in marriage sir, please give me your hand in marriage.

He should be terrified of this figure, not lowkey turned on.

Curse Sarawat and his inability to function around attractive boys. Curse this motherfucking hot as heck ghost and his stupid dimples.

Sarawat was like ninety percent sure of his sexual identity but now he was having a crisis about the fact he was possibly crushing on a whole new species. Needless to say he was losing his mind!

He could just imagine the headline of the video Man would inevitably make him sit down to film and post on their jointed YouTube channel.

STORYTIME: I ALMOST MADE OUT WITH THE GHOST THAT'S HAUNTING MY APARTMENT!

Sarawat was positive that his best friend would insert various memes and jokes throughout his very honest and real existential-slash-moral-slash- philosophical crisis Sarawat was having.

It would probably rake in a lot of views but Sarawat did not want to be known as That One Guy Who Simped Over A Ghost for the rest of his life.

He was almost positive that if he told his friends the trust extent of how he felt, they would want to change their channel from music and vlogs to something more akin to Buzzfeed Unsolved.

They would buy a spirit box and Ouija board online and force Sarawat to try to communicate because of course they fucking would, those absolute menaces.

He could already see Boss glancing around like a conspiracy theorist, seriously asking the ghost are you DTF (that means down to fornicate in case you need clarification), Mr. Ghost? Just give us a sign, any sign. Man would most definitely feed into this or make the situation even worse.

Which is why he was not going to reveal what happened tonight. He would just play off as sleep paralysis. Yeah. That is the best way to prevent his best friends from blowing this situation out of proportion.

Sarawat wanted to say something but the words died in his throat. What would he even say? Hello. Please smash your face against mine! Uh, no way in hell. Maybe it was a good thing that he had trouble forming words right now. It would save him a lot of embarrassment.

The figure leaned down closer and— fuck fuck fuck gay thoughts go away— peering curiously down at Sarawat. “He definitely can see me so why isn’t he saying anything?”

Because you can’t verbally keysmash in real life you beautiful and vaguely threatening supernatural being.

The figure hummed, deep in thought, before leaning back (thank goodness) only to do something that made Sarawat let out a very unflattering shriek in surprise. Well there goes his reputation. He didn’t have one in the first place to begin with, especially not with this ghost, but still. There it goes.

Ghosts were unable to touch people right? Right? So why did a ghost...just touch him?

Sarawat raked his brain trying to remember the drama he watched a few months back with his brother (it was Phukong unsubtle way of being like, hey, bro, I like boys but I’m still scared of coming out so let’s just both pretend like I didn’t just cry at the scene where Ohm Pawat’s character comes out to his mother, I swear I’m emotional because of the acting not because I can relate to it).

Sarawat was positive that the ghost in that drama couldn’t actually touch anyone. He was like ninety-six percent sure that every time he tried his body would just go straight through the other characters.

He forgot how it was possible that the ghost could touch, and kiss, the human, though. He should have paid more attention but hey, he was also trying to think of an inconspicuous way to let it slip that he was also gay. Great (disaster gays) apparently think a lot alike.

Anyways, the figure poked his chest and Sarawat almost pissed his pants in shock. Clearly the ghost was just as surprised that he could actually touch Sarawat because he froze, making Sarawat happy that he decided to wear a shirt to bed tonight.

He assumed that the ghost must have thought he was dreaming to (wait can ghost dream?) so just to make sure he poked Sarawat three more times in the same spot and yup—Sarawat felt it. He felt it clear as day.

“Oh.” The figure tilted his head to the side. “This is weird. I shouldn’t be able to do that.”

Yeah, obviously.

Sarawat opened his mouth to finally speak (he swore he was going to play it cool and be all like: hi! i promise i’m not having gay thoughts right now!) but before he could a loud crash in the next room made him jolt in surprise.

After being rendered motionless for a few minutes, Sarawat finally gained control of his own body. He threw himself upright into a sitting position but in the process of doing so he accidentally slammed his forehead against the figure whose face was technically still in close proximity.

Cursing, Sarawat clutched his head as pain made white spots cloud his vision. “ Fuck .”

From next to him the figure cursed too. “ Shit.”

Eventually the pain subsided into a dull ache, allowing Sarawat to glance over at the boy—ghost, supernatural being, angel, whatever—next to him.

The top half of his face was no longer translucent anymore.

In fact, he wasn’t translucent at all.

Crimson blood began to trickle out from his nose, causing Sarawat to gape in horror.

Not because the image was a terrifying one. I mean, yeah, it was a bit weird but it has been established that Sarawat, that certifiable himbo, was in a constant state of ‘mark me down as scared and horny’ tonight, but because a ghost...was bleeding. From a wound that Sarawat gave him. Was that like, scientifically possible? Note to self: send a text to Earn so that she can ask her girlfriend about it.

Also? Sarawat was finally able to label the ghost's eyes as being a cross between honey and caramel. Obviously, his poor gay started chanting oh oh oh oh oh because yeah, read above, Sarawat Guntithanon? Himbo, Simp, Dumbass Extraordinaire. Either way he was a mess.

The possible brain injury and the shock of the entire night finally caught up to Sarawat, making his stomach churn with nausea and vision become blurry.

Without meaning to, Sarawat fainted—not even elegantly like one of those heroines in a romance novel but like a dead, fucking fish, limbs flopping every which way—right into the arms of the mysterious figure he was still dying ( yikes bad choice of words) to know the name of.

The last thing he registered before completely blacking out was that someone was cradling him to their chest, rambling away.

“Oh my god. Did I just kill him? No. No way. He’s still breathing. Shit. Sarawat! Hey, you saraleo, wake up!”

Scott Pilgrim’s Precious Little Life Review

Happy Birthday To Me, as I continue my birthday celebration by taking a look at comics that have a personal connection to me.. And for our main feature, i’m taking a look at the first volume of a series that was vitally important to a teenage me, Scott Pilgrim. 

Scott Pilgrim is the brainchild of Brian Lee’O’Malley. O’Malley came up with the concept from a number of things. Being a fan of the band Plumtree, O’Malley was curious about the name of their song “Scott Pilgrim” and wondered who this Scott Pilgrim guy was. So over the years he slowly built the guy up in the back of his mind using bits of his life and what not. As for why he ends up fighting 7 evil exes, that came from a discussion with his then girlfriend, later wife and currently ex-wife Hope Larson, where he threw off the joke that her exes should form some kind of League. After finishing his first solo work Lost at Sea, O’Malley decided Scotty would be his next project and the rest is history. To date while O’Malley has written two works since, Seconds which is delightful and Snotgirl which didn’t grab me but I intend to try again, Scott remains his most popular work, in large part due to it’s SUBLIME video game and movie adaptations, the former of which is finally getting a rerelease next month. 

The series charm is in it’s style: A manga styled comic that combines two desperate kinds of story: Shonen Fight Manga and Slice of Life Indie Comics. The story shifts from Scott going through normal life stuff while trying to make his new relationship work and get his shit together and Scott getting into big bombastic fights with his new sweetie’s exes for the right to keep dating her and to you know, stay alive. The series effortlesly blends a video game like world with real grounded characters and is wonderful for it.  As for where I came in, one Free Comic Book day I found a little comic named Free Scott Pilgrim, which I genuinely loved and was instantly charmed by it’s humor and well done art. So I picked up the second and third volumes of the series proper and the first once I could find it and the rest ,as they say, is history. For my high school life, this was one of hte most important things in it and I wrote fanfiction, which I thankfully never put online and in general enjoyed the hell out of the series. Then I just kind of.. let it sit on my shelf for a while. It wasn’t BAD, I just never got back to it and as the franchise went dormant I just sorta slept on it and the movie and that part of me...

Cut to a few weeks ago, when Comixology did a massive sale for black friday that marked a ton of Graphic Novels down to just 1 buck each, and the color editions of Scott Pilgrim happened to be part of this, though only volume 1 was that cheap. But thanks to my best friend micheal and an early christmas/birthday present I got the rest and got to revisit the series as a whole, with me rethinking my previous thoughts of volume 1 and thus.. wanting to review it and share both why this series is so damn special and what’s good, and what’s not so good about it. I’ll also be covering the game, once i’ts re-released, and the movie once i’m finsihed with the comics so look out for that. And get ready to take a trip to the glorious land of canada... 

As a heads up and as you can tell i’ll be using the color version as while I could get scans of the black and white, I prefer the color version. While the black and white was fine and always will be, I think the impressive coloring job really adds to thing and makes the already great fight scenes pop more, as well as making certain background elements stand out a bit. While it does negate the black and white gags, the tradeoff is more than worth it. That being said either version is fine so if you can get the black and white cheaper that’s fine and i’ve kept my original copies, with volumes 4 -6 having been picked up as they came out. 

So as our story starts we meet our hero: Scott Pilgrim Age 23, a charming but jobless and kind of sketchy possible college graduate whose really been adrift in his life since a breakup about a year ago. And when our story opens he’s taken a turn for a worse and decided to date sweet but naive and inexperinced Knives Chau, a 17 year old girl. And why yes the power dynamics there are messed up and why yes Scott is pretty damn sketchy in this moment in time, and while yes I am aware the age of consent in canada is 16, it dosen’t make this any less greasy and the story knows that.  And how it knows that MOST of his friends aren’t on board. The only ones who seems to is Stephen Stiles, leader of Sex Bomb-Omb, the band scott’s in with one of the best names ever and even then it’s hard to tell if he’s being sarcastic or just a total douche. The other, Young Neil Nordgraf, Stephen’s roomate, is well 19 or 20 and kind of a dipshit so we just ignore him. I used to use him as kind of a projection, to put myself in the adventure when I was younger as Neil kind of lacks personality in the comics but in the comics.. he’s not hte best or most complex character. He is great in the movie though and Edgar Wright did an amazing job fleshing him out.  The rest of his circle are .. not so permissive. His best friend, roomate and king of all gays for all time Wallace Wells very much does not want to come with Scott to school to pick her up because every part of that sentence after hurt to type. Granted Scott gets him to come with him with promises of boys, but frankly knowing wallace he was probably just playing along/wants to protect this poor child. His ex and fellow bandmate Kim is clearly bothered by it and is flat out worried Scott is taking advantage of her. Kim and Wallace are easily my faviorites both for personality and because I have a massive crush on both. With Wallace it just didn’t manifest till the reread. Finally Scott’s kid sister Stacey chews him out over it before genuinely wondering if he’s gone insane or he’s actually happy. For my two cents: he’s not. He WANTS to be, but he dosen’t know how. And as someone whose both neurotypical, which given Scott’s troubles with empathy and relating to people like yours truly I strongly suggest he is, and has struggled with depression I can relate to that. He wants to move on but he just.. can’t, he just wants to get past the haze he’s been in since Envy dumped him.. but he dosen’t know how. So instead of doing someting constructive or finding a job or anything .. he just took the first and easiest way out of his depression he could. I’ve done that with video games and stuff. Scott did that by entering a relationship that’s really easy, requires only so much effort, and is with someone who utterly adores, looks up to him and will never expect better. Being with Knives makes him feel better.. but it dosen’t MAKE him a better person. As i’ve made clear dating someone just for a boost makes him actively worse and had fate not intervened, I shudder to think what Scott might have become. That being said his actoins are still creepy and since Scott has a habit of landing ass backwards into being an asshole here’s a counter to track that. That’s 2 for doing this overall, one for tleling her to be good, and 1 for trying to ply wallace with underage boys. 

Your the Scum of the Earth Scott Counter: 1

Thankfully fate does and Scott’s dreams, ones of him crawling through a desert alone, are interupted by a mysterious pink haired girl on skates. The next day he’s just sort of in a daze, kind of confused, and even more so when he sees her IN REAL LIFE, while at the library with Knives. He’s understandably frazzled but ends up finding out he’s not hallucinating when talking to MIcheal Cormeau. Micheal is a minor character and another artist and friend of o malley’s who represents that one guy in social circles who knows everybody. And indeed he knows the mystery girl, Ramona Flowers and that she’s there. Scott TRIES talking her up but just creeps her out, so Scott goes with plan b and decides to ask around about her. Enter Sandra and Monique, two college aquantinces of Scott, who just sorta show up at major events and aren’t that developed or intresting. They turn him to Julie who forbids him to date her. To which I say. 

Naturually we’ll aslo be needing a counter for this. 

Shut Up Julie Counter: 1

Scott however did find out she’s a delivery girl for Amazon Canada, and thus orders some CD’s on Wallace’s Credit card to hopefully see her. And while his behavior IS obessive.. it’s understandable. I’d be weirdly obessed with finding someone too if they showed up in my dreams every day and were apparently a real person. I’d probably play it cooler but still i’ts kind of understandable. So after a day with knives in which he’s clearly checked out she kisses him, he freaks out and it’s very clear that while Scott’s good at attracting women he’s just.. not good with his emotions and has finally woken up to how messed up this is, but has no idea how to get out now he’s intrested in someone he actually has a future with maybe.  Speaking of Scott’s package and Ramona finally arrive. Scott’s move is to.. ask her out abrubtly but after he mentions her Dreams, Ramona finally puts two and two together and explains things: She’s been using Subspace, a seris of highways connected by the subconcious and apparently more common in america, though it’s later revealed she was taught this but being the first book with a lot of the lore and what not ironed out this is fine. Point is she was just using his dreams as transit and didn’t mean to get him obessed. Scott continues to try his schtick and eventually gets her to agree to hang out with him. Why she does I generally do not know, as SCott basically fell ass backwards over himself conversationally, but whatever. If he didn’t succeed we wouldn’t have a plot. 

That being said things pick up a bit with the date though. The scene is really good and simply just the two.. talking. Having plesant conversations getting to know one another. That good stuff. it’s just really nice to read and it’s hard to explain why. Highlights include Scott’s x-men patch, Ramona not wanting to talk about her last job and Scott admitting he hasn’t been obessed in a long time.. and it comes off sweet rather htan creepy like that sounds. It just means he hasn’t fell this head over heels felt like this. As I said Knives was easy.. but this is hard.. and this.. feels right. So as things Snow Ramona yanks scott through subspace to escape the blizzard. 

So we end up back at Ramona’s place and she offers some tea which leads to one of the best gags of the volume as she lists them off: 

So Ramona goes to get Scott a blanket, Scott ends up following finds her changing, and she decides to warm him up another way.. by embracing him... cue.. the inevitible really. 

It feels organic though: The two are clearly attracted to each other and while Scott came on as strong as freaking colossus, he still rebounded well once they hung out and he could relax a bit and show the scott underneath the lairs of dumbass. The two end up cuddling in bed and Scott seems..genuiley happy saying he needed this... awwwwwww. They part the next morning with him asking her to his band’s performance. 

So Scott finds Wallace  at home who says what Scott needs to hear “You need to break up with your fake highschool girlfriend scott’ Granted the entire first 40 pages could’ve been titled that but now he’s actively cheating. He’s also got a letter. 

It’s a death threat Scott barely grazes through, just like an email earlier. 

But scott’s more concerned with his emotional distress.. i.e. the consequences of his throughly shitty actions finally hitting him in the face. 

Scott heads to practice for his gig and can’t bring himself to break up with knives, but does find out about the opposition: Crash and the Boys, based on an NES game title because of course it is. Crash, their leader, Joel their baseplayer who scott hates because he hates all other baseplayers (”I don’t hate myself kim) and Trasha, an 8 year old progedy they found playing Drum Mania. Don’t ask me what that is, i’m not going to get every refrence. 

So at the show Scott runs into Stacey and her new boyfriend Jimmy  with Stacey being supportive. And then Knives shows up and then RAMONA SHOWS UP. Oh no scott’s cheating might be discovered! 

So Scott books it while we’re introduced to Crash and the Boys. Wallace heckles them, to the band’s annoyance, until they eventually get fed up and we easly get the best gag of the volume. I was wrong this clearly tops the tea thing. 

So Crash and The Boys continue to play their set, including a song that supposdely kills the audience but really knocks them out.. which of course bothers kim because they play next. Meanwhile Ramona and Stacey meet and the two really get along.. and come back to find the audience ko’d and Wallace Making out with Stacey’s boyfriend. Oh no! Which is a dick move, no question. But Stacey’s next move is questionable even for a 19 year old: She says “You won’t steel another guy from me and tells wallace to sit over there”. Okay Stacey even if he is bi, and this series has trouble with the concept of bisexuals we’ll get into that later trust me, he made out with someone else entirely while on a date with you. Wallace is still an asshole, it’s part of his charm.. but it dosen’t change the fact your date kissed someone else seconds after you were gone and has been eyballing him all night, as seen even above. He’s not into you as you thought, just accept it, move on, and kick Jimmy in the balls and then wallace like a proper lady. So Scott prepares to play and this happens

And it’s here, at the very end of the comic the series main premise finally kicks in and the world takes it’s true shape. It’s a world where an indie comedy about a mess of a being putting his life together after finding his dream girl.. also has said mess being forced to get into fist fights with wizards, movie stars, vegans, half-ninjas, twin roboticists and a katana wielding douchenozzle record exec in order to continue to have the right to date his girlfriend. 

It’s where the series charm comes from and really what made it a huge sucess so it’s no suprise this volume perks up immensley for the climax. I’ll get more into it’s pacing problem at the end. For now it’s fight time and as we find out in a hilarious and awesome turn.. Scott is the best fighter in toronto.. which just makes me REALLLY want a Scott Pilgrim version of letterkenny. I mean who wouldn’t want to see wayne fight some guy who can turn his hands into dragons or see Squireely Dan do E.Honda’s hand slap move from streetfighter or see the skids all fuse into one mega emo. It’s just.. the possiblities are as endless as they are wonderous and I want this now. 

But yeah as Patel is both the first boss and Scott’s first real opponent Scott.. handles him really easily. This was by design as O’Malley wanted a shonen progression to the fights.. and honestly it’s a great way to do things. Since the fights are styled after shonen and video games, and both have power based progression in bad guys and threats, it just made sense. Patel.. is just pathetic even with his magic powers, and his habit of sending letters and emails just pounds it in. Though he is right to be a bit pissed Scott didn’t read a letter he hand delivered in a snowstorm. That’s just a tad rude. 

Mid-Fight, Scott, now he knows the whole evil ex boyfriend thing, wonders what Matt and Ramona’s past is and while Matthew refuses to tell.. Ramona spills easily. It was midddle school, all the jocks wanted her for whatever reason, likely because from experince in high school, guys really like indie girls. Matthew was the only non-white non jock, so they teamed up and with her strength and his mystic powers they beat them.. but since his use had dried up, she flipped him off and left.  Matthew dosen’t take this well and summons demon hipster chicks to fight while Scott and co, minus ramona, fight back with a finger gun routine and block his fire balls before propelling Scott into matthew somehow, and landing the KO Evil Exes Left: 6 Matthew bursts into coins though fun fact, O’Malley says the Exes all respawned back at home afterwords and learned their lesson. With Pattel I genuinely don’t think he did... but clearly given his penchant for formality what with the letters and emails, he probably felt it’d break protocol to attack before the rest were done. He probably jsut formed a hipster emo band and found more sucess using his magic for that instead and just forgot about the whole thing. Could be wrong but that’s what i’m going with.  So Scott asks Ramona to go out with him then make out with him, both of which she says yes to. Nice one scotty boy. Ramona then explains the whole evil exes thing: He’ll have to defeat each one as they come after him, and while Scott wonders if they’ll come one at a time Ramona’s not sure. As time will bear out, Scott is MOSTLY correct as most exes take him one on one, with the exception of the twins. But since as I said earlier the twins are basically one person, and as we’ll find out by choice, so it’s an exception. Plus their the last step before the final boss, so by that token it’s a bit fairer to have the penultimate boss get an unfair advantage. Scott is fine with that, he and Ramona share another moment and a kiss.. but Scott makes the mistake of asking if gideon is one and Ramona’s head starts glowing with her dodging the subject, though still going out with SCott and him worried.. it just feels.. off. not a bad ending but the only one of the series three cliffhanger endings that just dosen’t work for me, especailly since it is a bit before the Gideon mystery really picks up steam again. But with that we close this chapter

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Precious Little Life is a decent start to the story.  While Scott is loathsome at first, he’s still a compelling character and does get more likeable as things go, the humor when it is there shines and is one of the series best assets and while the fight is short and only at the end, it is oh so glorious especailly in cover with the impacts taking cues from the movie. It’s a good intro to Scott’s world and ther’es a reason the movie adapts this book the closest as it sets up the cast and premise well, with only Stephen Stiles feeling a bit off and ONLY for the first few chapters.  The volume is only really held back by it’s pacing, as before Scott runs into ramona in his dream the story feels a bit sluggish as we’re just watching some douche date a high school kid. While it is necessary to set up the world, it just dosen’t have the snappy pacing the series would be known for and that makes the rest of the series more charming. it’s nto BAD.. but it’s not FANTASTIC like the series would become. What keeps it from being bad is simple: These aren’t general badness signs but more just O’Malley coming into his owna nd getitng better and better as the book goes, to the point that by the next book the pacing is much better and by book 3 onwards he has it down pat.  Overall not a BAD volume but certaionly the weakest of the bunch.. which given it’s still really good says something about the ride we’re in for. I’ll be back sometime in the future, likely january. Yup i’m taking on YET ANOTHER PROJECT. but since this one, while clearly exausting and time consuimg, is much shorter in overall length, and i’m still proritizing the three I have running over this, I think i’ll be just fine. Until next time, have a happy holiday. 

Easy Games

-MC manages to get Levi to focus on something else besides video games-

I lay on the couch in Leviathan’s room, watching him as he stared intently at his large television screen. His fingers swiftly danced across his game controller.

“NO!” He shouted, and I watched as his character perished on the screen, dying a bloody death at the hands of a grotesque monster.

“I didn’t know you liked games like this. I thought you played stuff that was a little more...I don’t know...chill?”

“I like all types of games. This one is cool because you play as a hero who has to travel to the world of—“

“It’s okay you don’t have to tell me the whole story, I get the context.” I was not trying to listen to him go on for hours about the complicated plot. Luckily, he was already sucked back into the game and too distracted to continue talking.

About an hour went by of Levi losing the game over and over again. I sighed, frankly bored out of my mind. I had promised to spend the afternoon with him, but this isn’t what I had in mind. I grabbed a throw pillow from the couch and hurled it at him, nailing him directly in the back of his head. He turned around so quickly I was surprised he didn’t give himself whiplash.

“Hey! What the heck do you think you’re doing? What’s your problem!?” He yelled.

“I’m bored!” I shouted back. “God, Levi. You asked me to hang out with you but you’re acting like I’m not even here!”

“You’re the one who said you liked watching me play.” He retorted, turning back around and putting his headphones on. I guess now I was to sit in silence while he shunned me. I tried to think of a way to get his attention, and I remembered how cute it was to watch him get flustered. In fact I think the only thing that got a bigger rise out of him than his nerdy obsessions was me giving him special attention. So, I stood and walked over to where he sat on the floor. I knelt down behind him and placed my arms around him, slipping his headphones off and breathing softly on his ear.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be so rude to me, Levi. I could just leave and go hang out with Mammon instead,” I said in a low voice as I playfully twirled a piece of his long hair around my finger. I could feel him holding his breath.

“No...no you don’t need to do that...” he said nervously.

“Good, so you’re going to pay attention to me now, right?” I started to kiss his neck lightly. His skin was hot and with a hand on his chest I felt his heart beating faster. He turned to face me and I saw how insanely red his cheeks were. I couldn’t help but giggle at him. He gave me an annoyed look.

“You’re evil...” he pouted. “You think you can just do whatever you want and I’ll just go along with it?”

“You’re right, sorry. I’ll just go now...I’m sure Mammon needs my help with something...”

“NO!” He shouted, but quickly became embarrassed at his outburst. “I told you not to leave me.”

I leaned in and kissed him then, grabbing him by the back of his head and pulling him close. I sat in his lap and pressed my body against his. I broke the kiss and looked intently into his eyes.

“If you don’t want me to leave, then we’re going to play my game now. Okay?”

“Okay...okay.” He could barely speak, and the look on his face was blank from the shock of my assertiveness. I began kissing his neck again, much more aggressive now, leaving little love bites all over him. I slid my hips back and forth on his lap, rubbing into his cock which was quickly stiffening in his pants. He let out a little gasp as I reached down to give it a playful squeeze.

I pushed him onto his back and quickly pulled his shirt over his head. For someone who didn’t get a lot of exercise, Levi had a gorgeous body. I kissed down his chest and stomach, gently licking just above the buttons of his pants. I undid the snap and pulled them down. He was watching me, trying not to lose his cool. I slid down his underwear next, revealing his hard cock. He turned his gaze away from me then, covering his face in shame.

“Your cock is so perfect...” I said, licking in circles around the head.

“Hhuh... you...you like it?” His voice trembled as he looked for my approval.

“Yes, I really do. I really want to see what you do when I suck it.” I wrapped my lips around it and began to suck, slowly moving my head up and down his long shaft. He immediately let out a moan and his hand was drawn like a magnet to the back of my head. I went faster, pressing my tongue firmly against it to make it nice and tight. He squirmed a little, his hips jerking forward, shoving his cock to the back of my throat. I managed to not gag, and I looked up into his eyes. This drove him crazy, and he groaned loudly for me. I pulled it out of my mouth and jerked it quickly in my hand, stopping every few strokes to massage the head.

“Do you like that, Levi?” I asked with a smirk.

“Y-yes! Ha— uhhn... dont.. don’t stop!” He begged me to continue. I shoved his cock back into my mouth, going as deep as I could, sucking hard. I picked up the pace and quickly slid him in and out of my mouth. His moans were loud. So loud that he’d probably be embarrassed if he realized. But I loved hearing his noises of pleasure.

Quickly undressing, I moved on top of him and spun around so that he had a nice view of me from behind. Still teasing the tip of his cock with my tongue, I made my proposal.

“Do you want me to ride you?” I asked.

“Yes! Please!” The words practically jumped out of his mouth.

“Okay...but first... I think I want to see your cute face smothered by my ass...is that okay?”

“Uh huh!” He grabbed my hips and slid me toward him, and I lowered myself onto his face. He seemed so eager, like he had probably dreamt of me sitting on his face for a long time. I looked back and could only see his eyes and the top of his nose peaking out from under me. He started to tease me with his tongue, flicking it against me and dragging it across just the right spot, sending shivers down my spine. I moved my hips back and forth a little and heard his muffled moans below me.

I moved off of his face to let him catch his breath, and then I started to rub myself against his cock, everything all sticky with saliva and pre cum. As I lifted myself and came back down his cock slid deep inside me, and I looked back at him as I sat on it. He was watching as it disappeared inside me, and gave me a long groan as he felt my tight, wet grip on him. I started to work my hips up and down, riding his cock reverse style. His moans grew even louder and he grabbed my ass, throwing his head back in pleasure and closing his eyes tight. I stopped bouncing and took a moment to slowly move my hips in circles, grinding into him. I felt him deep inside, throbbing. He thrust up into me and his legs were beginning to quiver. I started bouncing on top of him again, faster and faster until he was practically shouting.

“Ah...fuck! Fuck I’m gonna cum...!” He moaned, bucking his hips excitedly. His cock pulsated and before I knew it I felt the hot eruption filling me up. The load was big, and Levi was now left breathless from his intense orgasm. I enjoyed the warm sensation for a moment before lifting myself off of him. I turned back around and sucked lightly on the tip of his cock once more, cleaning up the sticky mess. He tensed up at the feel of my tongue on his extra sensitive skin.

We dressed ourselves and he sat on the couch. His expression was blank, but his face was still bright red. I chuckled and kissed his cheek.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Wha—what? What do you mean am I okay? What’s that supposed to mean? I...I...” he scowled at me, clearly still very flustered.

“Nothing, don’t worry. Hey look, I had fun. Did you have fun?”

“Yeah...I did.” His brows relaxed and a weak but adorable smile broke through. I smiled back. Just as I was about to go in for another kiss on his cute little cheek, my phone rang. I quickly stood up and started to gather my things. “What is it?” He asked.

“I forgot I have a study session with Mammon now. I’m sorry, I can’t miss it, he needs me to tutor him you know, or else he’ll fail again. I’m sorry!”

Levi rolled his eyes and crossed him arms. I could feel the jealousy radiating from him. “Of course you’ve gotta go help stupid Mammon. Yeah whatever, go on then.”

Before I slipped out the door, I paused to leave him with one last tease.

“You know, Levi, I don’t like that look on your face. But I think if you lose that attitude maybe we can do this again.” I gave him a smile so wicked you’d think I was a just another demon.

“Don’t mess with me!” He shouted, tossing another pillow in my direction. I quickly closed the door before I was hit, and I heard him sigh on the other side. This game was just too easy.

The Usual Shows I am Watching List

For the next week or so at least (obviously, I am unlikely to watch every single one on the list, but they are all in the running; it’s like a preview for posts I am likely to make).

The Abyss (Korea) - I am a few eps behind and, frankly, the drama about two dead people brought back into different bodies, hunting a serial killer and finding love, should be more engaging and smarter than it is, but it’s a pleasant easy watch and I am very fond of the two leads.

Angel’s Last Mission (Korea) - I am only two eps in, but the gorgeous intensity reminds me of old-school kdrama melos that I love so much. A bitter blind ballerina and an angel who is supposed to help her find love but falls for her instead is probably doomed for disaster in terms of happy ending, but I will be eating up all the pain!

Arthdal Chronicles (Korea) - grim (but not too grim) cool and otherwordly fantasy. I still don’t care for any characters, but the drama itself is great to watch.

Cage of Love (China) - surprisingly, not a BDSM tale. Hawick Lau wears amazing outfits and seeks revenge while trying to clear himself from being framed on a regular basis and dealing with heroine who sometimes loves him and sometimes thinks he is the resident serial killer. I started it years ago and now feel like continuing.

The Crowned Clown (Korea) - I need a sageuk in my life and watching Yeo Jin Gu in the pretty inferior Absolute Boyfriend made me remember how impressed I was by him playing both a psycho king and a sweet acrobat doppleganger who replaces him, so I restarted it.

Good Omens (UK) - loved the book when I read it a gazillion years ago and the first ep was good!

Heart of Stone/Hua Jai Sila (Thailand) - basically a 1980s romance crack about a pimp who comes back for revenge on his stepmom and falls for his childhood friend, this is insane! But addictive! Also make-outs!

Here to Heart (China) - it’s on my list and I may or may not get to it. I like the angsty premise and credits (they used to be lovers until she broke his heart in what I am sure is either a misunderstanding or noble idiocy), now he is mega rich and she is hired as his assistant, but Zhang Han has never clicked with me for some reason. He’s good-looking, he’s an OK actor, but for whatever reason he just doesn’t have that “it” for me. Maybe this drama will change that. 

Just Between Lovers (Korea) - when it was airing and people were falling madly in love with it, I was in a kdrama slump that no kdrama could cure. But now - oh, this is so achingly, perfectly, emotionally gorgeous. Only one ep in, but I already know this will be a keeper.

Kimse Bilmez (Turkey) - the one Turkish entry on this list! Starts on Tuesday, promises angst, women in danger, macho traditional men who defend them blah blah blah. As a modern feminist, I should probably be appalled, but I like what I like and gimme gimme gimme!

Le Coup de Foudre (China) - I just want to see the aristocrat daughter and the hot constable from An Oriental Odyssey be an OTP, all right?

Legend of Fuyao (China) - am on ep 22 I think. It’s pretty and shippy and I won’t stay awake freaking out about characters or plot twists, but watching Ethan Ruan worship the ground Yang Mi walks on never gets old.

Legend of the Phoenix (China)  - on ep 4! Get subbed quicker for my sanity, pls. Love story, scheming courtiers, angst, period costumes. What more does a girl need? Jeremy Tsui looking scrumptious, apparently.

The Legends (China) - finally hit ep 20! I like it and it’s a relaxing, fun, cute watch. Though if Zhao Yao figures out Demon Boy likes her before at least a dozen eps pass, despite him doing everything but carving “I love Zhao Yao” into his chest, I would faint from shock.

Letting You Float Like a Dream (China) - I am excited Young Lord from Minglan gets to be the hero of his own story and get the girl he wants (even if he has to reincarnate a couple of times first), plus look cool in 1930s duds. This is very much my thing.

Likit Ruk/The Crown Princess (Thailand) - sometimes a lady just wants to watch a good, old-fashioned princess x bodyguard romance, especially when said princess and bodyguard are hot enough to set the Chao Praya river on fire.

Listening Snow Tower (China) - on ep 38 now. Gorgeous visuals, awesome fights, and the Victorian duality of the chaste and almost unspoken but frighteningly intense romance is so my jam. But if they kill the hero, I will riot. Let him and Lady Badass wuxia into sunset together, pls. 

My Absolute Boyfriend (Korea) - I am all up to date with this one. Which is weird because I am not up to date on other dramas I like more. This is a giant meh emotionally, and wastes some really good actors, but it is so good-naturedly unoffensive, I can’t even complain. Still, perhaps the story of a lady buying a lovebot should have stayed solely in manga form because I’ve never seen an amazing adaptation of it.

Pretty Man (China) - I liked the first ep, and you have no idea how rare it is for me to say that about a contemporary cdrama. Childhood loves who find second chances yes pls.

Princess Silver (China) - Yuu Watase, is that you? Did you write this? Cracky, not too serious, but seriously addictive, this is a chocolate bon bon in drama form. PS Pls cure the prince of his touch phobia through LOTS of skinship, princess!

Siege in Fog (China) - romantic dysfunction reigns supreme, even more so than gorgeous 1930s outfits and people. Elvis Han and Sun Yi boil my blood in amazingly pleasant ways as two people in a marriage of inconvenience, where he pines for her but won’t show it and she loves another, until she wakes up and realizes that HELLO IT’S SEX ON LEGS ELVIS, I NEED TO GET SOME OF THAT! And the civil war says, “not so fast!”

Too Late To Say I Love You (China) - I started it years ago when it was not fully subbed and loved it because in my secret heart-of-hearts, I too want a mega hot warlord who looks like Wallace Chung and has stylish 1930s cars and a private army to sweep me off my feet and obsess over me in an unhealthy but hormonally incredible fashion as if I am the only woman in the world. SiF reminded me of this so here we are. 

Tried and dropped:

The Plough Department of Song Dynasty (China) - watched one episode, felt my brain leaking out of my ears and bailed. Granted, I watch plenty of dumb stuff so far be it from me to act high and mighty about a bit of brainless fun, but I don’t like mysteries, there was no angst, and I couldn’t care less if all the characters fell into a giant pit, so here we go...

Well Intended Love (China) - people didn’t like it because the male lead was a sociopath. I didn’t like it because it was cutesy and boring and nobody in it  bothered to act (or couldn’t.) I bailed long before the dysfunction, that’s how bored I was. 

Made in the USA - Ralph Anderson x Reader (The Outsider)

GIF CREDIT: X

Author’s Note: So... Whilst I’m not watching for the first few weeks (for reasons you may know!) I am jumping on in and giving you some Ralph Anderson content anyways!

Side Note - all you book readers will know who Samuels is. If you’re not a book reader... I believe Samuels is now... Hayes?* Not that I’m annoyed or anything...

* I don’t know for sure if he’s the same, but I’m assuming Disclaimer: Characters are all Stephen Kings / The Outsider characters/plot not mine / One again set in my little AU. (That means more Renee)

Premise: The temperature has been rising steadily for weeks, and it finally hits breaking point literally  you and Ralph both have cases to work, but given the circumstances you don’t really care. And for once, neither does he...

Words: 4345

Warnings: Fluff / Some banter about affairs and eloping. /this one really does contain book spoilers and therefore I'd imagine show spoilers. 

______ You run around open doors like a gentleman Tell me girl every day you're my everything 'Cause that's the way you like to do it That's the way you like Just a little West Coast, and a bit of sunshine Hair blowing in the wind, losing track of time Just you and I, just you and I You’re always reading my mind like a letter When I'm cold, you're there like a sweater 'Cause that's the way we like to do it That's the way we like And never ever let the world get the best of you Every night we're apart, I'm still next to you 'Cause that's the way I like to do it That's the way I like No matter how far we go, I want the whole world to know I want you bad, and I wont have it any other way No matter what the people say, I know that we'll never break 'Cause our love was made, made in the USA

---

It was hot. A little too hot. Okay, a lot too hot. You were glad you hadn’t had to go straight to a scene. The heat had been building like this for weeks, but at this point you didn’t want to touch anything metal, and tarmac was out of the question. It made trying to get into your car interesting.

And Ralph didn’t really do much other than stand on the porch watching you like you were insane. “Y/N... just... get in the car.” “It’s hot-!” “Yeah...” He shielded his eyes from the sun as he looked up, “I know...” “Well I’m trying not to burn my hand!” He sighed, and sauntered over to the car “Please, it’s not that hot-!” You supposed he could say what he liked, he hadn’t just leant against the car trying to fish the keys out of his pocket and touched it with his forearm, that’d made you snap back with a gasp enough – and no more! Ralph reached out and touched the car like it was nothing- “AGH!”

 It made you jump, “Oh my god-! See!” But then he was just laughing “It’s fine.” He opened it for you, “Now go on. I’ll see you later.” You tipped your head, biting your lips together concerned; “Just be careful okay-!?” “I’ll be fine.” He leant on your car door watching you hop in “Don’t flirt with the DA too much.” You sucked your breath between your teeth; “Oh... babe, no promises!” He eyed you for just a moment “...Just remember who’s in charge here.” “Yes, Detective Anderson. I will.”

 Luckily the innovation, and frankly blessing, that was air conditioning was available both in your car and in the DAs office. And the short walk from one to the other wasn’t enough to get you complaining again. “Lovely weather we’re having!” Samuels grinned, holding his arms out for a hug which you gladly excepted; “Uh. Yeahhhh - if you don’t have to stand out in it working-!” “Oh, please. Working-!? Do you actually do anything or do you just stare at Ralph all day?” You scoffed and jabbed him in the chest with your folder “He’s the one telling me not to flirt with you-!” “Well I suppose It might not help your case, or it might! Want to elope into the hot summer sunshine and never be seen again?” He smirked gently, with just the right tilt of his head. “Well it seems like a lot better idea than working in it-!” “AHA-! I’m telling the detective-!” “Oh yeah, just get me in more trouble-!” He took the folder from you gently “Now, come on... what have you got for me today?”

You both sat in the office discussing the case in great detail. What you had to say, what you shouldn’t say – his route of questioning, the usual sort of thing Samuels called you over here to discuss. To be honest even when he didn’t call you you liked calling in on him. He used to joke that yours weren’t his only cases, but you liked being around him. He gave you as much flirtatious banter as Ralph did but it was just different, in the best way. If you had to put up with both Ralph and Yune regularly sometimes having Samuels in your corner was a Godsend. Of course, it was Yune that had started Ralph off on the flirting thing. Oh god, will you two get a room-!?... Y/N, in front of your partner, really-!? The four of you were really like a house on fire when together, and you enjoyed that… maybe it was an age thing? As a detective you were sure you were supposed to figure that out, but it made sense, Samuels and you were closer than your partner and his friend were.

Your phone buzzing snapped you out of the conversation: “That your detective?” “I’d assume so...” you picked it up, “Yeah.” “You gonna tell him we’re eloping or should I?” “Oh, just make him wait until I don’t come home later...” He tsk’d, with a smile; “You’re a cruel one!” “Why tell him-!? He’ll have his blue lights on and catch up before we leave the city limits! That or tell me good riddance!” That made Samuels throw his head back laughing; “Oh god-! Yeah. That’s Ralph.” You narrowed your eyes and checked the message; ‘How’s our DA?’ ‘Good! How’s the office? x’ ‘Oh! You’re not gonna like this.’ ‘Like what-!?’ ‘Just hurry back! Or don’t. You’ve been there hours what are you doing!?’ ‘Eloping! 😉 x’ You put your phone down with a smirk and received three buzzes in the space of a few seconds – even Samuels looked at it with raised eyebrows; “What did you say-!?” “Oh, nothing much!”

 **

 Satisfied that the case was in order, you drove back to the station gently humming to the radio.  So much so you’d forgotten about the three texts Ralph had sent until you got there: ‘I KNEW IT!’ ‘Don’t bother coming back!’ ‘I’m keeping the kid! You don’t deserve her!’ That only had you laughing more as you pulled into the parking lot. And then you frowned. Every single door to the place was wide open, “Oh dear.” That couldn’t be good. As you shut your engine off Ralph sauntered out of one and learn against the door frame, unimpressed look on his face, and checked his watch (and he wondered where you got it from…): “Oh-! I see you decided to return the case before you eloped-!? How thoughtful!” “Shut up! You think I could deal with a DA the rest of my life?! I get enough with you-!” He folded his arms, and squinted; “That was a rather backhanded compliment!” “You deserve it for that stunt this morning-!” So Ralph got unceremoniously hit with the folder too. You looked to all the open doors, concerned; “What happened here-!?” He held his arm out to present the building to you, “Step inside! And you will find out!” You understood exactly why all the doors were opened the second you walked in and he heat hit you. It was like a sauna. Outside was bad but at least there was a breeze! Ralph clapped you on the back, and his body heat in proximity didn’t help none. “Air cons bust.” You turned to him with a glare “And you called me BACK!?”

 **

 You received a disapproving cough from the other side of the office every time you undid another button on your shirt.

Every single fan that any of you left in the office could find, was on. But you were suffering. It was alright for him; Ralph would work through this no matter what – such was the man that he was. But you were now sweaty and uncomfortable and sticking to your chair; “I can’t work like this—!” You groaned, leaning back in your chair as you received yet another glance, “Any more buttons and you’re gonna be reprimanded.” “You’ve seen me in less-!” “This is a work environment, Detective!” “Ralph—!” You whined placing your arms to your forehead, “This is awful! I should have stayed with Samuels-!” He scoffed “Then why didn’t you!?” You sighed, eyes flicking to him “Because I am hopelessly in love with you.” He stared at you for a minute and the only sound became the buzz of the fans and the wall clock. Before he smiled, and it was a sweet smile. The kind Ralph didn’t give you whilst working. He pointed his pencil at you accusingly; “Don’t make me come over there and kiss you!!!”

 In reality you’d been there less than an hour when Ralph finally threw his pen down, where it clattered across his desk, and stood up. “This is unbearable. Even I can’t work like this!” That was that then, if the usual last man standing was deciding to surrender too. He gave a sigh before he started with purpose towards the door, “I’m sending everyone home!” “Oh?” You folded your arms “Big man on campus today?” If Ralph could send everyone home that meant he was the most senior official in the building. But instead of just answering you he slammed his hands onto your desk with a smirk. Your heart leapt - since when did Ralph ever look at you like that? “Yup, you’re damn right.”

But of course, once he’d gathered everyone in your little space, to tell them to clear out of the office until and engineer swung by and fixed everything, in typical Ralph fashion he martyred himself to stay behind and continue the work. He still wants to be the last man standing, then! And you weren’t having that. “Go. We both have a car, go home. Or go see Samuels again, if you feel you need to be in an office...” “And leave you behind? I don’t think so!” “Why are you so damn stubborn!” Well he shouldn’t have made so many comments about flirting with the DA, or you probably would take him up on heading back there, all your work was currently on that case. “I’m not leaving my partner here alone. And you should know I wouldn’t.” You narrowed your eyes, jumping at the opportunity to give him a taste of his own medicine; “Unless you’re eloping!?” “Oh yeah!” His voice was purely sarcastic and his face deadpan; “with the other lover I clearly have SO much time for-!” You tutted “You’ll break Reneé’s heart!” “If you didn’t break it before hand with your fancy DA-!” You gasped “Uncalled for!” “Necessary!!!” That only made you pout, and Ralph strained “Aw, c-c’mon... That’s unfair...” The embrace he offered you was loose, for obvious reasons, but the sentiment still held as he kissed your forehead; “I love you...”

 *

 You were now just content to suffer in silence - and didn’t look up from your work. You also didn’t look at the clock, and any time you crossed the room it was to look at the case board and then stroll back to your file again. Ralph wasn’t on the case that you were dealing with with Samuels but he liked to help out and offer advice on occasion.

He was dealing with his own right now though, and his silence said as such. But Ralph was always quiet. A good foil to you, you would imagine. Every so often Samuels would ping you questions or updates, but you were glad that it seemed so quiet on such a hot day. “You know,” Ralph eventually mused “isn’t it funny how much quieter you suddenly get when we’re the only ones left here.” You glanced up at him slowly, but instead of retaliating, like you knew he might want you to, you simply smiled.

But, Ralph continued his musings. Folding his current worksheet over. But he knew what your silence meant I will suffer with you. Or for you. “...You know, and I don’t even say this personally, professionally... you might be the greatest partner that I could ever have hoped to have.” That just made you blush, and look back to your work, “...What makes you say that?” “I just know you’re good for me.” He looked to the open door for a moment, twisting his pen between his fingers “...I get to learn a lot from you. I get to teach you a lot of things. We’re as opposite as we are similar. It just... works right? Surprisingly well.” You always did wonder if one of the reasons that your wish to transfer up here was accepted, was because they realised that you needed someone who would settle you down. One of Ralph’s favourite things to tell you was ‘curb your enthusiasm’. To which you would usually wittily reply.

But not today “It does work. But also as more than just a partnership...” you leant on your hand to stare at him “...I guess it’s all equal parts right? I know when you’re my partner, my senior, but also when you’re my lover...” Ralph dropped his gaze back to you, and once again he made your heart skip. “Hm. Important distinctions. It’s as important to think about the fact that I will probably never get a partner like you again. So, whilst I have you here... I should probably give you everything I have to offer in the field.” You narrowed your eyes, suddenly too suspicious of his choice of words; “Where did that come from.” “I’m not daft enough to think you’re not eventually going to get promoted out of here. I think if I prepare myself now... then I might just be ready when it happens.” You stood, one swift movement and shook your head, “That’s it.” “W-What is-!?” You crossed the room with purpose, and he leant back as you rounded his desk and kissed him. It wasn’t harsh, it was still loving and tender but it was still hard. And something he needed right now. You pulled back, and his frown was almost of bewilderment. “There. Happy? You made me get up and kiss you!” He grinned, like he’d won, “Oh yeah, I’m happy.”

**

Work continued with Ralph letting you take short breaks every so often. But the rising heat of the day only made it more unbearable and he had spent the last 15 minutes standing in the open door way staring at the parking lot. “Alright...” He crossed the room, with as much purpose as before and tapped your arm, “Get up. Come on, we can’t stay in here.” “Well- where are you going!?” “There’s one shady spot in the pilot, go sit over there I’ll join you in a minute.” “R-Ralph-!” But all you heard was his hurried footsteps, making you sigh gently. You pocketed your phone and went to stand by the door yourself. He was right, there was one shaded area. You glanced back to wait for him, but when after a few minutes he still didn’t appear, you decided it was better to wait for him where he’d told you to, or else get chided for that too.

 5 minutes later, when you felt a lot better for sitting in the shade with a nice breeze, Ralph sidled across the parking lot with something in his hands. You were trying to find the case file under his arm that would denote that he was still asking you to work outside, but he was suspiciously void of one. When he reached your side and sat down, you realised he was carrying with him your favourite ice cream; “Knew we had some.” You were still looking for his case file, “Stop it. We’re taking a well-earned break - and!-” he tapped the tub with a spoon before handing you one, “I think we earned this too!” “Any reason you picked my favourite?” You could already feel the beginning of a big smile, “Just the first one I placed my hands on. And home made too-!” He tapped the label. Yeah right, it hadn’t taken him a good 15 minutes more to just grab a tub of ice cream and some spoons. But you didn’t say that, instead you sat back on your hands with a tiny smirk; “Is it because you love me?” He sighed gently “Oh... probably...”

You sat together in relative silence, leaving the cases back in the station you created a good amount of your own small talk whilst attempting (and succeeding in) finishing a whole tub of ice cream together. You liked to discuss the shows you were watching that he wasn’t into, but liked hearing second hand accounts of from you – and the book you were currently reading. Just as he liked to tell you about interesting documentaries he’d watched, or all the places he’d been. If he brought up cases – Ralph liked telling you about plainly absurd ones he’d been a part of when he’d just started out. Those always made you laugh so hard that you got stitches, and always made you ultimately glad you’d never been through any of them yourself. Though you had your fair share of stories from your previous jurisdiction that made him cringe when you mentioned them; “Oh god, please no!” Eventually your head found his shoulder, and your arms wound around his. Sure, it was still pretty hot out, but the breeze and the shade were both lending a helping hand. And more than anything you wanted to be this close to him. For a short period he petted your hair gently, and you closed your eyes with a smile. You knew this man well enough to know that the only reason you were out here eating ice-cream and not working hard was you. Ralph had done this for you, to cool you down. You knew he would have suffered in silence all alone all afternoon had you not stayed. So you were grateful that in doing this for your benefit, he was taking a well-deserved break too.

“I’ll pick her up, tonight.” You lifted your head from Ralph’s shoulder at his sudden quiet musing; “You sure?” “Mmm. You stayed. Least I can do.” “…That doesn’t sound suspicious at all.” He chuckled, “I just like seeing her face light up when she leaves school and runs to the gate, is that alright?” “Runs to you. Is what you mean.” “…You gotta understand that too, right?” You ran a hand through his hair, “Aw… You’re just such a softie.” “Eh. I’m getting old.” His grin was bashful, “Naw. You’re getting just perfect.” There was silence for a few minutes more before he gave a tentative look back to the open station doors; “Should we be working on cases right now?” “Not in this heat no.” and you were determined to keep it that way. “...I’m tempted to agree with you...” “But?” You couldn’t believe you suggested he go on with the sentence “But we should be? So let’s go back in?” “No...” Ralph lay his head back on yours, with a gentle smile that you would obviously think he’d ask you to get back to it, “That was it. That’s all I had to say.”

 ***

 Eventually an engineer rolled into the parking lot, and you had to cover your mouth to stop you from cracking up at Ralph’s nonsensical string of What took you so long!?!??! But you only waited until after the engineer had finished. “I say forget about today and let’s go home...” Ralph stacked some files under his arm; “Let’s just make sure everything is locked.” “Mmhm!” You agreed and then trailed him through the station to shut every door and window once again. Glad that the air con was thriving once more.

Then he walked you to your car and opened the door for you again, like a true gentleman, even though he hardly needed to. Before walking over to his own. You knew Ralph though, and those files made their way into his back seat. You sighed, and drove your car around the lot to his, winding your window down; “Hey! Detective!” Ralph laughed and strolled across the lot to you; “Yes?” “Professional advice.” You nodded back to his car, “I’m all ears, Detective.” “If you take all your work home with you, you’re gonna miss out on two very important things...” “I know that.” He crossed his arms and leant on your car, “But I also know - and this is my professional advice - there’s nothing better than talking work through with people who see things a little different to you. Makes me worry less, get a new perspective. Sometimes, I just might need their help.” You sat back with a thoughtful expression: “Huh. I guess sometimes they might need yours too.” “Well, you got it. How about you? Suppose you got a good DA at home that knows his stuff.” You opened your mouth in shock; “Oh my god! I can’t believe-!” “-Here’s some more professional advice…” Ralph leant forward and caught your lips with his, stopping your rebuke to his comment in its tracks. Then you quite forgot what you were saying; “...ice cream.” “...Huh?” “You had, a little bit of ice cream.” He brushed his thumb over your lips and you’ll couldn’t help but part them with a gentle sigh against his soft touch. “Oh.” “- As I was saying. Professional advice, tell that man of yours not to work so hard.” You gave a shrug, and a makes sense face, even though your stare was measured; “If he’s gonna heed my advice I will.” “Mm...” He tipped his head, kissing you once more before straightening “...if you keep reminding him of the important things, one day he just might.” Ralph stepped back and raised his hand in a wave, “See you back at home, Y/N!”

“See you soon-!” You blew him a kiss, and closed your window again as you drove away. You glanced to the case file on the seat next to you, well he wasn’t the only one who was taking things home, you guessed. But at least yours was going to court! And you did have to know what you were saying for ‘your’ DA. *** It was quite some time later that the front door opened to a chime of; “We’re home!!!” You were leant against the counter catching up on today’s news, an all too familiar scene these days. You pushed yourself back from the counter in time for Renee to come racing around the corner and into your arms; “Hey, sweetie, how was school?” “School was good, mommy.” You picked her up, and she was beaming “How was work?” “Hot. Actually. But, Ralph, gentleman that he is, sent us all home.” You heard Ralph laugh from the corridor, “You decided to stay!!” “Cuz I love you!” “I figured!” “You’re back later than usual!” Renee giggled “Ralph took me for Ice cream-!” You gasped “Ice cream!?!” He rounded the corner “Oh. Yeah! It was still pretty ridiculous outside. Thought our little lady deserved some.” You tilted your head curiously to one side; “And you didn’t invite me?!” Although you were only being playful, you knew Ralph likes having father/daughter time with her, and you found it absolutely adorable that he would want to take her for ice-cream after school. Ralph probably wanted to make sure that Renee didn’t miss out as much as anything else. “Well, you weren’t around and you’re supposed to be studying for court.” “Yeah. Okay…” You shook your head at him, amused. “Mommy, you can come next time!” You chuckled, placing her back to the floor, and running your fingers through her hair – “Well, thank you – sweetheart. Who could possibly resist such an invitation?” Ralph shook his head, with a smile “God, come here!” The next thing you knew you were wrapped in his arms and covered in kisses.

*** When the day finally began to cool off, it was already late into the evening. And you were still practicing all your notes, sure, Samuels had yet to get the court date, but he worked quick – and you had to be prepared for this. By the time you’d decided to give up it was already approaching 11:30pm and you knew that, since he’d disappeared from your side, Ralph would be tucked away in his little corner of the house still up doing his own case work.  Time to go remind him that bed was also a thing. He didn’t even look up as he addressed you when you entered the back room fifteen minutes later; “Your case made the papers again! Did you see?” “I did. He’s good at that…” You glanced over the files, but it wouldn’t have taken a genius to figure out exactly what they were. Cold Cases. “Oh, he definitely likes ya. That DA. I never get in-!” “If you’re trying to suggest that I only get in the papers because of Samuels...” “That’s exactly what I’m suggesting, Ms.Andersson.” Though he was smiling You indicated to his folders; “The last time you went high profile...” “Yeah. well.” “It’s only 200 words in the corner, Ralph.” “200 words that you and I both noticed.” Well, you supposed he had a point. You eyed the files open in front of him again and tipped your head, eyebrows threading, concerned. You nodded to them; “…Don’t you ever get tired of doing this?” “What?” “…Looking through cold cases like there is something else there.” “No end to the universe.” He muttered, “Huh?” “No end to the universe.” Ralph repeated louder, raising his head slowly. “…What if we missed something because we didn’t even think of that possibility?” “…Ralph…” you placed his mug of cocoa down and slid onto the desk, taking his hand in yours, “Sometimes it’s not going to be monsters. You know that too, right? Stop looking for them just because you’ve dealt with one.” “But what if-” “What if they aren’t? Baby, what if they are just cold cases…?” “You didn’t see what I saw, Y/N… You’d never want to be involved in something like that again if you were. You’d never want something like that to happen…” “Ralph…” you sighed gently, “Whether I was there or not, I still believed you when you told me… Why shouldn’t other monsters exist and be capable of such things.” But you placed your hand over the case files “But, babe, you gotta stop obsessing. Because we both know that won’t solve anything… Also, there’s a bed upstairs that’s missing two bodies… I say we aughta rectify that!” The smile you had raised from him faded just as quick. He sat back, in silence for a good few moments, blue eyes looking between yours for answers he wished you had; “Then let me ask you this…” Ralph paused again, before taking a breath; “Why do you believe me, you never told me that?” “You said it yourself…” you gave a gentle smile, bringing his hands to your lips, “No end to the universe.”

---

Thank you for reading! 😘

@3134045126​ @dennismitchell @happyskywhale @wltz-bby #MendoTagSquad

The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov

It has been at least 8 months since I finished reading this novel, and now I’m finally posting the last part of my review.

Part 3 – Margarita, Feminist Icon or Romantic Cliché?

Spoilers.

The Master, a thirty-something recluse male writer, first sees Margarita walking down the street. She has in her arms a bouquet of yellow flowers. The Master follows her, they exchange hellos and she asks him if he likes her flowers. He says no. She proceeds to throw the flowers in the gutter.

This is not a promising introduction to our heroine: a heroine who is quick to throw something away because a random man dislikes it. The situation doesn’t get any better after that; the two become infatuated with each other, and she becomes obsessed with his writing, with his “genius”, so much so that it is she who names him “The Master”.  For me a clichéd classical heroine is characterized by two things: first she is young and pure, pure in spirit and body (i.e. meek and clueless). Secondly, she is hopelessly dedicated to her man, he is all she lives for. Now on the first point Margarita does not qualify, she’s a married woman having an affair with another man, not surprising considering Bulgakov’s taste for married women. But Margarita absolutely fulfils the second criteria: her main characteristic as a character is how unfailingly devoted she is to her lover.

The novel is split into two parts and if it weren’t for the events of the second then her character would be very dull indeed. In the first part most of the action is focused on the Devil’s appearance in Moscow and the chaos his companions inflict on the inhabitants of the city. We’re briefly introduced to the characters of the Master and his lover Margarita. We’re told of how she supported his writing, and how he fell into depression when his novel about Jesus Christ and Pontius Pilate was ostracized by the Russian literary scene. There’s a passage in the novel in which Bulgakov explains that Margarita married young, now years later she’s living in a nice house, she’s a woman of leisure, she has money and her husband is decent enough, so why is she so unhappy? Bulgakov argues that she clearly needs the Master, she needs to live with him in that hole in the wall apartment and share his sorrow and pour herself into his work. Well Bulgakov you missed the mark. Margarita is so insanely attached to the Master’s novel (he gets jealous that she cares more for it than for him) that it seems clear to me that what she really needs isn’t the Master but for herself to get a job as an editor. What she needs is a challenge.

The first part of the novel jumps from character to character in alternating short comedic scenes, it is only in part two that the novel starts to feel more like a novel, it is the first time that more than two chapters (five to be exact) are dedicated to the same storyline: Margarita.

In this second part, one of the Devil’s companions offers Margarita a way to be reunited with her precious lover, whom she hasn’t seen in a long time, ever since he, willingly, disappeared from her. She is given a cream and told to apply it at midnight, she does so and turns into a witch, she feels a sense of liberation, removes all her clothes, grabs a broom and flies out into the night. After a few incidents she then meets the Devil and makes a bargin with him: he offers to reunite her with the Master if she will be the hostess at his Ball for the dead tonight. She accepts and fulfils her part perfectly and in return the Devil delivers her the Master and wishes them a happy life.

I have to say the second part of the novel, which relates to Margarita’s story, is what I enjoyed reading the most, it was a thrill to follow her new freedom and sense of adventure and wonder, and frankly a relief to be following a linear narrative. Margarita is the only character in the novel who takes action, the only one to be brave enough to face the Devil, take on his challenges and gain what she wants in the end.

And yet Margarita became a witch and got involved in the Devil’s business, she’s a heroine but one who gets mixed up with unholy things, and even before that she was an adulterer. In this sense she is a new type of heroine. There is a key moment in the Devil’s Ball when Margarita has to greet the Devil’s guests who are all dead sinners. She greets a woman who is deranged and keeps going on about a handkerchief, when she was alive she worked in a café, the owner “pressed her to join him in the pantry once, and nine months later she gave birth to a boy: she carried him off to the wood and stuffed a handkerchief into his mouth and then buried the boy in the ground. At the trial she said she had nothing to feed the child with.” To this Margarita asks what about the café owner? And one of the Devil’s minions replies: “what ever has the owner got to do with it! After all, he didn’t smother the baby in the wood!”

Now in the afterlife this woman is everyday presented with a handkerchief with a blue border identical to the one she used to kill her child, every day she destroys it and every morning she is presented with it anew, she is being forever tormented by the handkerchief, by her crime. When Margarita finishes her service to the Devil she asks that the torment to this woman be stopped. This shows a higher, more complex level of compassion than we usually see in romantic heroines. It’s easy to show a heroine to be compassionate and charitable to those who are innocent and poor, but here is compassion and understanding of how a person can be driven to acts of evil, and how they can be forgiven. And an acknowledgment of the man’s part in a woman’s ruin.

So apart from the character Margarita, are there any other moments that could tell us what was Bulgakov’s attitude towards women? Well whenever there are public incidents in The Master and Margarita, Bulgakov specifies that there are women screeching and wailing, implying that women will always be the ones to loose composure first and be “hysterical”. A character, angry with himself, exclaims “An idiot, a foolish woman, a coward! Carrion’s what I am, not a man!”. When one of the Devil’s minions approaches Margarita for the first time, he exclaims “Difficult people, these women!” when she is confused by his cryptic messages, a few minutes later he warns her “No dramas, no dramas”.

And then there’s Nakedness, nakedness is an important theme, there are five instances of nakedness: 1. The Devil has a group of four minions, one of whom is a woman, and she is always naked. Her nakedness is used to enthral and surprise her male victims on a number of occasions, but she is also described as a maidservant, who later in the book kneels down and rubs the Devil’s feet. 2. At the Devil’s stage performance in a theatre, his goons offer the people money, which later disappears, and to the women new frocks and shoes, which they exchange their old dresses for and change into on stage behind a curtain. Later on as they are leaving the show the dresses disappear and they are left naked. Nakedness here is used to embarrass. 3. Margarita and her maid turn into witches and go naked, this seems to be about liberation, liberation from social restraints, an abandonment to freedom, to adventure, to mischief. 4. The new witches meet a drunk fat man by a lake. Nakedness here reflects this man’s idiocy. 5. Women and black servants at the Devil’s Ball are naked. All male guests are formally dressed, the female guests wear nothing except for fancy shoes and elaborate headdresses. Serving the party are “motionless naked negroes with silver bands on their heads”. Is it liberating that the women are naked? Or is it just an indulgence for the men to feast their eyes upon? And to make the male readers giddy? Later in the party, the women, (and only the women) take off their shoes and jump into a large pool filled with champagne and get drunk.

After hours and hours and hours of serving as hostess at the Devil’s Ball, Margarita and the Devil are about to part ways, she has fulfilled her part of the bargain and now it is the time for the Devil to fulfil his and return the Master to her. But the Devil says nothing and neither does Margarita. She has worked so hard and been through so much and is about to walk away without demanding what is right: the payment for her services. As she is just about to leave the Devil exclaims: “Correct! (…) That’s the way! (…) never ask for anything! Never anything, and especially of those who are more powerful than you. They’ll make the offer themselves and give everything themselves.” What bullshit. I don’t know how exactly but I grew up with this belief, never ask for anything, if you deserve it, it will be given. What utter bullshit. I read in a study that one contribution to men getting more promotions at work than women was simply because men had more confidence in asking for promotions, whilst women assume that if they do their work well then a promotion should naturally happen. To all women everywhere: if you want something, go for it, ask for it, fight for it.

Bulgakov was a man who wrote a lot of himself into his work, in part 2 of my review I talked about all the similarities between Bulgakov’s struggle with censorship and the Master’s plot, Bulgakov also frequently broke the fourth wall as narrator and commented on the action or wrote things like “Follow me, Reader!”. So it is no surprise that Margarita has some similarities with Bulgakov’s third and final wife, Yelena Shilovskaya, who was a married women when they first met, and during and after Bulgakov’s life fought to get his work published. It seems clear to me that Margarita is a tribute to her.

I can’t say that The Master and Margarita is a feminist text, there are subtle moments of machismo which I feel Bulgakov would not have enough self-awareness to spot, and Margarita’s character has a number of problems, such as having no personal goals or desires outside of simply worshiping the “Master”, but I can say that there is enough to make Margarita a step in the right direction, a step in between a cliché of male desire, and a feminist icon for us women.

Review by Book Hamster

Prodigal son s1e1 live-blog, for @loubuttons and @thisbibliomaniac because the fact I’m watching this show is y’all’s fault. But under a cut, because I’m nice like that.

his dad looks a bit manic...and saying “we’re the same” doesn’t bode well, given what I know about the show. also 80% sure he’s got gum disease, going by how red his gums looked in that smile.

Serial killer! Makes sense!

He’s distracted by the cicadas. Five seconds and I see what the fuss is; this is one precious boi.

Brrzap; that taser looked painful. Ooh, and cue the freaky childhood flashbacks! His dad is clearly the worst and this poor baby needs a better relationship than this to cling to.

YOU LIE, YOU SICK THING. THERE *ARE* MONSTERS AND YOU ARE ONE.

faces in a jar. That’s no bueno. Bad guy with a gun, also very no bueno. “Someone breaks us.” tbh my friend, I believe too strongly in original sin to agree with that.

oh yikes, the sheriff. Even bad guys have humanity.

“I get it, you don’t punch a sheriff.” He is a baby, but yes also a little stupid.

Oh hey, Lou Diamond Phillips is in this!! AND Michael sheen! LDP was one of the best parts of “Stargate Universe.”

He’s still friends with his dad. This is heartbreaking and extremely unhealthy. I feel stupid for just now recognizing Michael Sheen is the dad. He plays warm and sympathetic and psychotic equally well and it’s frankly impressive. plus that’s an A+ beard.

Soooo homebody has Severe Issues. That was not a good nightmare. But “I can see clearly now” is a fabulous song.

His sister seems like a good egg. I am HERE for good sibling relationships!! Plus she has a killer outfit on. If I could be an actress, I would be one for the wardrobe alone. She has gorgeous eyes, too.

Oh heyyyy it’s LDP! “Spooked puppy dog look” yep I like him. But his sister lied ;_; so much for good sibling relationships. I mean, yeah she’s trying to protect him, but still.

“psychologist, forensic profiler, acquired taste.” I love Gil and I love Gil’s relationship with Malcolm and I already love JT’s relationship with Malcolm. “So you’re a necrophilic?” Iconic. We stan one rude boi.

also can I just point out that Gil’s outfit is frickin classy?

A copycat killer...copying his dad. Welp, let’s just dive into the emotional anguish, shall we?

Gil, you trash bucket, you KNEW. you KNEW the killer was copying his dad! And now you’re saying you’re not asking him to talk to his dad, but you’re definitely asking.

“It wasn’t a healthy relationship.” Okay, at least you know it.

His mother does not look old enough for two kids in their late 20s. Aaaand she’s trying to rub his life. Rude. He’s a grown man, woman, mind your business and shove your pills where the sun don’t shine.

Don’t drink the tea, Malcolm. Pls. I beg.

Oooookay, the coroner is mildly insane. Which makes she and malcom would instantly get along.

welp, we’re diving into BDSM. I am Uncomfortable™️. And I’m pretty sure the killer is at the dom’s apartment, if not the killer himself.

“My profile’s wrong.” Whoopsie.

Nico is a victim sitting on a bomb. Well that’s dandy. God bless Malcolm and his complete lack of social skills.

“I’m gonna chop off your hand!” UM??? Aaaand the bomb just went off. A’ight, I’m hooked.

HOLY FRICK HE ACTUALLY DID IT, THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN. “I’ve got to give them a hand.” What even is this show, holy merciful smokes.

Oh no, his hand is shaking. MAYBE HES THINKING ABOUT CHOPPING HANDS OFF, GEEZ.

His mother is trying to set him up. Hoo boy. This is an awkward family dinner. And ainsley sold him out without hesitation, nice. No don’t say he’s a copycat!! Ainsley is a reporter, don’t say—heck. This is going to end Very Badly. Pls malcom no.

oh gee, mom knows the victims’ names. That’s heartbreaking. I will give this show major points for exploring the fallout of a serial killer’s actions for his family.

Screw his father to hell and back for being a kind and gentle dad while also being a serial killer. That’s just messed up.

And we get another nightmare, that’s splendid. That poor detective who just got clotheslined. Bless her for hugging him till he’s awake again.

Poor Gil, dealing with a hyper frantic boi who is Not, I repeat, Not in Control whatever he thinks.

Oh here we go, he’s off to talk to daddy dipstick. This is gonna be a thing, clearly, where he has to ask his dad for help solving cases.

Do not, you horrible waste of humanity, look so pleased about your copycat. Is it a prison guard copying him...? How did he know so quickly the pages were stolen?

HE’S STILL SEEING PATIENTS?! How did he not get his license revoked for KILLING PEOPLE?! This is stupid. He’s enjoying this. I hate him. I hate him for being charismatic and charming and interested in his son.

Huh. He’s scared his son won’t leave. Welp, there’s our series hook: he promises to come back and see his dad. At least he got what he needed.

Malcom running into his mom at Berkhead’s party is frankly hilarious. Also I suspect the wife rather than the husband. She’s probably jealous.

Oh yep, private conversation upstairs AND her husband’s upstairs! So I was wrong, the wife is the fourth victim, which makes sense given Malcom’s refined profile. Okeydokey, I can work with how this show handles plot twists.

Dani’s in danger. How do we fix it? By strolling in like a boss. Malcom, you absolute nutcase. “You’re still in control.” Bro. Broski. Bromonid.

Is that a knife?? Aw Dani, you were so close! MALCOM NO threatening to use the paralytic on yourself is...I mean, it’s working, but also BRO YOU ARE NOT OKAY. why are you looking at Dani as you confess your motivation for being a profiler? Why are you begging Carter to kill you. This is bad. ooh also title drop!

Enter Gil!! Intriguing bookend with the beginning; also props to the guy playing Malcom for capturing that bitter disappointment at not dying.

Oh yikes, Gil was almost a Surgeon’s victim. And Malcom was the one who called him...makes sense with the nightmare and Gil and Malcom’s connection makes sense.

Does he eat a candy every time he solves a case? That’s adorable ;_;

Hmm, so his dad is pulling strings behind the scenes. Yep, I hate him. Aaaand now he’s emotionally manipulating his son and offering him help to maintain that phenomenally unhealthy relationship. Ugh. Smug piece of dirt.

Heck. This is my quarantine binge now.

Ooh someone else who's not against Aaron crying more. That seems to no longer in en vogue 😂 I just want more Aaron full stop at this point. It feels like he's been underused so much recently (almost 2 years actually lol). Maybe not in stats but in terms of how it feels and actual storylines that last over a period of time. I miss him. Let him be rude to people in the cafe even idc. It's a given that I always want more Robron too ofc. Comedy/angst/casual village interaction for them both please!

i think that (imo) (or at least from my personal perspective as a viewer) 

(and as a preface, i don’t mean to compare robert and aaron in a rob vs aaron way - it’s more that robert is a very easy character to use here in order to demonstrate my point in this post about aaron, because they share so much screentime/storylines together)

robert is a character that they enjoy using in a way that a lot of other characters don’t get used or can’t be used quite so freely - they like putting him up against big dogs and making sure he’s got some sort of scheme in motion lmao, just because that’s sort of core to who he is, in a way

he’s probably very fun to write for and/or plot for in that way, because he’s a fucking lunatic and also gets to be kind of quippy and terrible 

(and i will… fucking eat my hat if they haven’t set this graham plot in motion to ensure that both the kings and robert are in kim’s general orbit once she comes back to the show, just bc why wouldn’t they)

so robert usually has some sort of insane scheme happening - or before that, last year, we obviously had him involved with lachlan and rebecca, because of his ties to the whites and who knows maybe he’ll be tied back to lachlan again

but this has just sort of meant that he’s always had a couple of different stories happening at once lmao

it’s a rare day that the show doesn’t have robert doing something, even if he’s not being used very heavily

aaron on the other hand gets thrown into liv-related plots, or dingle plots maybe (but not very often) - stuff that’s really a lot smaller and kind of involves him doing the same thing over and over again lmao. i think he’s going to appear in jacob’s plot again at some point soon (potentially without liv???)? 

but beyond that, he’s really just in the robron stuff

and if the robron stuff happens to be more robert-centric, then i feel like it makes sense that it might feel aaron-lite

plus they just don’t really use him in the same fun ways that they use robert

(and honestly!! not many characters do!! possibly bc it’s just fun to watch robert be terrible lmao, in much the same way it is nicola or charity or cain) 

(again this isn’t supposed to be rob vs aaron bc i love how they use robert on this show lmao)

(but they also should use aaron in fun things too bc we deserve it)

(and i hope the robron/jimmy stuff this week is good bc i miss aaron doing crime things)

so he had a super quiet 2018, relatively speaking - mostly he was just supporting other things that were going on at the time with liv and robert and that’s cool and good and all characters should have a supporting period in soaps etc

but now it’s his time again we’ve done our waiting

!!!!

and maybe bc he’s largely been very valuable as a presence but in a supporting function, it feels like he’s been a lot more underused than he actually has? just because he hasn’t really had anything that focused on him as a character since early 2018?

but also now the billy thing is happening

and i feel like (and i think maybe ppl might agree) we really haven’t had aaron say enough about his side of the story yet

and that’s fine, because he actually seems at the moment to be trying to act like everything is totally cool (even though he’s concerned about literally leaving the house)

he’s just like lOL robert drop it!! 

bc robert immediately got himself arrested, i guess, so maybe aaron isn’t quite prepared to let robert know exactly what’s going on in his little head, because he’s worried about what robert will do

which is clearly valid

but that doesn’t mean that something somewhere shouldn’t give that ultimately makes aaron have to tell robert (or someone!!!!) (uh preferably robert)

I GUESS THIS LONG FUCKIN USELESS POST IS JUST ME SAYING

that i want the aaron/billy situation to be an actual storyline for aaron

and an actual storyline for billy/ellis/jessie

which i assume it will be

but it’s still such early days so it’s sort of impossible to say how it will play out at the moment

but i hope like fuck that they

dont drop it

develop it into something interesting that gives aaron some focus

gives aaron a story that’s sad bc danny’s good at sad scenes and i enjoy them lmao

also ryan is good at sad dramatic stuff and sad dramatic robron stuff is good and like

give us more of that as a part of this

i know who i am

more robron angst!

let billy go after robert and have aaron get mad!!!! 

i’ve got ideas @ ed writers hit me up

like, i’m totally fine/thoroughly enjoying robert trying to casually ruin billy’s life at the moment in an attempt to get rid of him and again, it works because aaron literally is acting like everything is fine, even to robert (for the most part)

i just hope it’s leading to more emotional stuff and aaron explaining what’s happening in his head and what happened

and more aaron/billy scenes honestly lmao

for the #drama

at the moment everything that’s happening is very shallow/face value stuff and the show really hasn’t started delving into the dynamics between any of the characters yet

there are so many depths for them to mine here

they’ve just started to bring up billy and jessie’s feelings about billy’s dad, which is a good start 

but i need more yk

this shit is heavy and we deserve heavy angsty tear-filled aaron scenes to go with it

the show should work up to those imo thanks

like… it’s all promising stuff though? and i’m always chill about waiting for shit to go down, if it feels like there’s space for shit to go down.

i just hope they follow through and write it well and don’t just drop the story

and then i hope they take it somewhere interesting

until then i’ll just enjoy robert being a lunatic on aaron’s behalf and aaron very quietly trying (and frankly failing) to deal with his trauma 

brotp prompt: skyping - john and nate plsss

BROTP PROMPTS: 

He had said eight o’clock, right? John’s feet were impatiently tapping against the floorboards beneath him, his eyes shifting between the ticking numbers at the corner of his computer screen and the tiny “hello :)” he’d left inside his and Nate’s chat window on Discord. One would nearly believe he was on the edge of speaking to his wife, Kenna, out on one of her many joyful career trips – but no, considering she was happily resting inside a warm bathtub, enjoying some of her “me time”. Nate was close, in that regard, one he held dear to the bones much like his other best friend Erin; however, unlike Erin, Nate found himself in a different country at the moment and it was hard to find a proper time slot these days in terms of talking and catching up. They were busy people, although John more so with work and Nate… with another person. 

N: Sorry!!! I just came home, had to lock down the studio and the traffic back home was insane. You still there?

J: sure am :D call me once youve settled down i can wait another minute

John’s feet stopped moving and he seated himself stiffly as a stick inside his computer chair, holding his breath until that familiar sound of an incoming call reached him through the headphones. Finally! It allowed him to exhale, forming a swift: “Sup, mate!” before Nate had the chance to speak a word in his ears. It wasn’t long until their semi-formal greetings turned into a light snicker, along with a quick wrap up of their past weeks of no talking. 

J: “I still can’t believe you’d leave us for Canada like that, I know having an ex is terrifying – but did you really have to flee the country?” 

N: “I didn’t flee the country, John, I saw an opportunity and I took it. Not the same thing, in my defense.” A low, yet amused, huff followed the answer and rang into the microphone. “Plus they were in dire need of my help over here, free healthcare and benefits won’t save those dance moves, Larry.” 

J: “Hah! I bet! Oh well, at least you’ve finally made some friends down there. How’s the boyfriend doing?” 

N: “For the third time: he’s not my boyfriend.” 

J: “Eh, whatever – how’s he doing? I wish I could have stayed longer when I came down there last time but work has me tied. We should plan another meet, though!” 

A hollow sigh entered the air before Nate cared to continue. 

N: “He’s doing fine, a bit busy but what could you expect. We’re meeting up this weekend, don’t know what we will be doing, however. And duh, obviously we should meet up again – you do realise I miss the crap out of you and the rest, right?” 

J: “Teach him how to play games, that’s what you should be doing. I still… can’t wrap my head around the fact there are people out there who has literally never played a game in their lives. You sure he’s not Amish or something? That’d explain it…” John’s voice faded in the background, near forgetting to reply to the last part. “Oh, right! Of course, we know and we miss you, too – which is why you should move back here and keep me company until the ends of time.” 

N: “I… uh, don’t know. I can’t answer that one but ey, it’s a good idea!” Another beat of silence before a heartfelt laugh followed that reeked of endorsement. “I’ll be back eventually, mostly because Kenna needs some time off from having to babysit you.”

J: “Oh, harsh buddy”, John said with a playful tsk, waving his hand at the screen as to dismiss the comment. “But you’re probably right, Erin can only do so much.” He tipped his head at the thought, wondering whether to call her later. She, too, had ditched him for Canada at some points. What was it about that country and stealing his friends? Though, frankly, in her case her parents’ had taken off in that direction… but still. “Hey! You up for a game of Portal 2? I recently reinstalled it thinking I’d play through it alone, but since you’re already here and I have your undivided attention for the rest of evening…” There was a sense of puppy-eyed begging weaving through his request, carefully tipping back and forth inside his chair as he held for an answer. 

N: “Um, yeah? The fact you even have to ask, I’m on it as soon as I get to reinstall it myself. It might take a few minutes so we best find something else to do in the meantime.”

J: “I think I already have the best idea ever in existence, Nate – hold up, because it’s a big one and you don’t even have to leave Canada to do it…”

It was, perhaps, not the most prestige idea but it was something and left them both with a promise to talk soon. To put it lightly: a Mario cart tournament, three of each side that’d act as a team. Nate, Oliver and that other girl he was spending time with these days against him, Kenna and Erin. It was the perfect match and the mere mention sent them both into a state of plotting as they waited for their evening to properly take off. Their lives weren’t the same, as it still ached in John’s heart to not see Nate and Eileen together – wondering if they’d ever find their way back again. Another part of him was simply happy to still have Nate around, knowing that a computer screen wasn’t enough to crush their friendship. Maybe things would go back to normal one day, maybe it never would. Today though? Today, it didn’t matter.  

@rookiedreams / @ordinaryillusion  

Exit Rave: Money Flower

I didn't really realize this about myself until fairly recently, but I need my quotient of crazy sauce makjang melodrama to keep my passion for dramas alive. Last year it was Ms. Perfect coming swooping in to save me from my drama dryspell, this year it was Money Flower. This became a crack drama for me week over week from the premier. I need something just this twisted and dysfunctional in order to live my best life.

Money Flower is a Jang Hyuk helmed revenge melo that feels a little bit like a dark and gritty reimagining of Baker King Kim Tak Goo. There are a staggering number of plot similarities between the two shows. The primary difference being this: In Baker King our hero is a Human Cinnamon Roll way too obsessed with actual cinnamon rolls to bother avenging himself on anybody. In Money Flower, Kang Pil Joo is a reptilian chess master, way to obsessed with avenging himself to bother with literally anything else (including love, friendship or actual cinnamon rolls). Also, Baker King is slightly less murdery. Slightly.

I picked up Money Flower almost entirely on the strength of the poster (the one above on the left). Well, and because of Jang Hyuk's involvement. But that pretty much goes without saying as far as this blog is concerned. I wasn't sure how I felt about the match up with Park Se Young since in my head she's still that top student from School 2013, but it's not even Jang Hyuk's most mismatched pairing in recent memory (ahem, Beautiful Mind) so it didn't give me more than a momentary pause. That poster just has such an intriguing dark energy to it. Promising a heavy melodrama about a manipulative, deeply unhappy man, who uses his intelligence to ruin his life and the lives of everyone around him to his own ends. Which is exactly what this drama delivered.

I really think that's the best mindset to take into this. Come for Jang Hyuk playing an almost preternaturally competent chess master type character and stay for the makjang madness and the unaccountable chemistry he has with nearly every other character.

A couple provisos I will make before recommending Money Flower to anyone. You definitely want to know what kind of thing you're getting into here.

I often have a knee-jerk defensive reaction to anyone who would refer to Kdramas as "Korean soap operas" because the term "soap opera" at least in the United States has a distinctly unflattering, low-rent connotation. As we all know Kdrama has a lot to offer narratively, rhetorically, and each show can vary wildly in terms of production values. I don't judge every drama using the same rubric. In fact, I am admittedly much harder on dramas with very obvious merits (My Just Between Lovers and First Life reviews are good examples of this pattern) than I am on trashier fare. There is definitely a sliding scale at play here.

Money Flower is one of those dramas you can pretty legitimately classify as a soap. A compelling one. A very well paced one, but a soap nonetheless. I'm not too proud to admit that. I liked the soapiness and the insanity. This is good schlocky fun. For best results you probably don't want to fully engage critical thrusters. Something about this drama feels very old school, like it could have been made any time in the past 15 years. Although the critique of the corrupt conglomerate system feels pretty contemporary. If you enjoy dramas along the lines of Baker King, That Winter the Wind Blows, or even something like I'm Sorry, I Love You then this is probably be to your taste.

Moving into the actual review, I will say that I was impressed at the writers ability to maintain the tension and continue serving up cliffhanger after juicy cliffhanger week after week. Consider the dramas 24 episode run, that's no mean feat. Whether all those turns added up to a fully realized story is up for debate, but I think so.

As to the characters, I won't lie to you, they're all terrible people. Every single one of them twisted or greedy or obsessive but most of the time all three. (All of them except for Mo Hyun, who is kind and pure and didn't deserve to be mixed up with any of this.) But they’re very interesting terrible people, and therein lies the fun. Pil Joo especially walks that tenuous line of ruthless anti-hero that made me frequently question his actions and his justifications for them. At times I didn't even know if I wanted him to succeed, but the drama always managed to bring me around in the end. It was supremely satisfying in that way.

I think the character with the most wholly engaging dynamic arc was Jang Boo Cheon. My attitude about him changed from hostility, to ambivalence, to genuine interest and concern by the end of the drama. I'm well aware I'm in the minority on this one, but by the end of the drama Boo was my favorite character. He was just full of narrative possibilities. What side he'd ultimately land on was up in the air until the very last episode. He reminds me very much of Ma Jun from Baker King. A spoiled and unlikable character with unexpected emotional depth who makes you root for his redemption. Shout out to actor Jang Seung Jo who I thought really knocked his role out of the park, I hope he gets more and better roles moving forward. The extended cast, most particularly Lee Mi Sook as the truly fascinating Jung Mal Ran, all do a great job.

I liked the ending of this drama, though not as much as I wanted to. I think in the end they wanted to have everything at once and it made some of the choices in the finale feel a bit slapdash and manipulative. The fact that that's pretty much the worst thing I have to say about the writing is frankly a miracle.

For the hours of sheer enjoyment it furnished me and keeping that sliding scale of quality in mind, I give Money Flower a 8/10. A solid addition to the sizable Jang Hyuk filmography and to the revenge-melo genre in general.

Who do you think are the most useless characters in LoK?

Ha, damn, you guys really do love making me a controversial blogger!

As with all controversial questions, this goes under a Read More

There’s different kinds of uselessness at play here, if you ask me. Most characters are skilled at one thing or another, so your typical definition of uselessness doesn’t work. Useless, though, as in “provided nothing to the plot”, is something that certainly happened in LOK. And useless as in “could have been amazing and was a huge disappointment”  is even more prominent than the previous one.

So, shall we split this question in those three sections?

Useless #1: no skills to speak of, too much screen time was wasted on them:

Wu: I actually considered having him in the third category instead, but why lie? His character only had potential because of his position in the world. When you weigh his character and his development for themselves, without focusing on his role, you realize he’s absolutely irksome and unnecessary as a character. When even Bryke asked themselves how on earth did they keep the badgermole singing scene, which is, LITERALLY, the only useful thing Wu ever did, you come to the conclusion that in order to make Wu a good character, his entire concept had to be utterly different from what it was. Ergo, yes, he earned this spot fair and square.

Unalaq: oh yes he had skills, skills to bend spirits, which was probably the biggest disservice to spirits ever done in the entire saga. Unalaq was a waste of time, and, as the entirety of Book 2 is a spit in the face of everything Avatar, it’s safe to say this entire franchise would have been better off without him. Heck, people in general seem to forget he even exists and I’m glad they do. He’s just that useless.

Useless #2: provided nothing to the plot, caused the show to drag on pointlessly:

The entire Su Beifong branch of the Beifong family: I’m not even going to apologize for being as blunt as I am about my distaste of Su Beifong and everything about her. The drama she provided the show with was seriously a waste of time. Imagine how many things could have been developed better if all of the Su Beifong family drama from both seasons 3 and 4 hadn’t happened? Her very existence was simply… so unnecessary? After two seasons, bringing in another daughter of Toph’s as they did was utterly pointless. Nobody ever made a reference to her before, zero insinuation of her very existence, let alone of the existence of her family. Why were they necessary at all? Well, they weren’t. They derailed the show and half of the FINAL SEASON was wasted on trying to unravel their ridiculous drama. Excuse me, but I would have rather had Kuvira being an independent agent, not in love with Bataar, so all the pointless melodrama could be scrapped altogether. Maybe that way Korrasami would have had enough screentime to develop properly.

Varrick in seasons 2 and 3: I will give him a pass in season 4 as that’s the only one where he did SOMETHING. But honest to gods Varrick was painful to watch for me in seasons 2 and 3. I wasn’t amused by him in the slightest. The whole matter of the civil war between tribes got shoved under such a huge rug that I literally don’t remember anything about it. Or about the Movers. And if him making a magnetic suit would have come in handy eventually, his appearance in season 3 might have served SOME purpose, but no. So yes, he goes in this list. He absolutely earned his spot.

Zaheer: oh yes, a lot of people loved/feared/revered this asshole, and indeed, perhaps he fits in the “wasted potential” category just fine. But frankly, I couldn’t bring myself to put him there. Truth be told, Zaheer was a pain in the ass for me. His character felt flat and irritating, a mere attempt to make an “intellectual” villain that backfired entirely because his literacy didn’t make him more interesting in the slightest, he legit came off as an edgy communist teenager in the body of an adult, playing at being wise while knowingly sending the world to shit. There was a story behind everything he did, yes he had motivations, yes, he had skills… and yet you have no idea how the blazes he came into acquiring those motivations and skills. He saved P’li from enslavement? Is slavery a problem in the Avatarverse now? If slavery has been happening, why hasn’t it been developed more as a seriously bad issue in the Avatar world? Well, screw that, turns out the only function for “he saved P’li” is so he looks cool and noble. Same as his interest in Air Nomad culture and knowledge, that just makes him cool! Also, ironically, his attachment to his goal of killing Korra should have kept him from flying because AMBITIONS ARE ALSO ATTACHMENTS. Basically, Zaheer is an improvement on Unalaq and yet still a failure of a character in a thousand ways where Unalaq failed, too. He wasn’t believable for me at all: in the end he was only around to play at being Korra’s worst foil. Both Amon and Kuvira get believable motivations and their villainy goes beyond playing Final Boss for Korra. This is not the case with Zaheer. Everything about him seems to revolve around Korra.

Useless #3: absolutely wasted potential, deserved better than what they got:

Bumi: I am still SO PISSED regarding how horribly this show mishandled Bumi. His first appearance was so promising, showing a character who outright looked crazy…! And suddenly turns out he’s dorky, not crazy, and his quirks are simply stupid-funny, which is what his character was all about until he becomes a rookie airbender. Did they seriously introduce a character to us as COMMANDER BUMI… just to make him a laughingstock? Just to make him funny? What military skills did he have? How did he make it so far in life when all we know of him is that he can play the flute? Someone, please, explain. And his story regarding feeling inferior for not being an airbender, just for him to end up being an airbender all the same in the next season? I HATED IT. Waste of screentime, right there. No development needed, let’s just forcibly kill his insecurities by making him an insta-airbender. Ugh.

Asami: this is even painful. We’re talking about a girl who had ten thousand skills and could do all sorts of jobs, with insanely high quality training in combat… and what did she do for this show? Provided the money for the Fire Ferrets in season 1, then the air crafts needed for every other season, and became a love interest. The majority of the stuff she did with her skills are off-screen. We HEAR about Asami, we seldom see her in action and she is CONSTANTLY, CONSISTENTLY, removed from important events in every season. She literally gets written out of Book 2′s finale as a whole. In Book 1 she faced her dad, wasn’t involved in the final, main conflict. In Book 3 she couldn’t do anything to help with Zaheer in the final fight. In Book 4 she got written out of the fight too after her dad becomes a martyr. How. Just. How?? This character HAD potential. It got squandered and thrown to waste because the biggest bigots when it came to bending and non-bendng were the show’s writers.

Bolin: this guy had a completely incoherent arc and development, mainly because his character had no clear motivations and no obvious interests throughout the entire story. No doubt, he wanted to make something of himself, but it isn’t until Book 4 where he finally channels his motivation into something productive. Otherwise, he was only ever following Korra around. Adding to this that most his presence in the first seasons was about turning him into a laughingstock, with only a handful of serious moments, and that his love life was even more messed up than his character arc, and he’s just one big pile of wasted potential.

P’li: I am singling out P’li specifically, despite Ghazan and Ming-hua also should be included here. But P’li is the one that bugs me the most because she could have provided countless answers regarding combustion bending if only the show had included her as something other than Zaheer’s explosive girlfriend. The fact remains that I was mainly interested in her character because of the expansion of lore she could offer, and in the end she provided nothing new for us. It’s beyond disappointing. As for Ming-hua and Ghazan, yes, they were underused and their storylines cheapened too. All three of them are exponents of wasted potential.

Kya II: she was cool, could’ve been a much more complex character, and yet I think she must have had less screentime than Zuko? I don’t even know, but the point is, she was around only for a couple of seasons, wasn’t particularly prominent in either one, got ZERO lines in book 4... she’s an immediate candidate for this category.

Iroh II: basically the same as above. It’s kind of sad because he was the leader of armed forces that achieved nothing at any point in the show? I’ve never seen a show that brings up armies and warfare as much as LOK did while also never allowing full-blown armed conflict to unfold. I mean, I’m not asking for Helm’s Deep, but every single time Iroh brought out his troops he was either wiped out or left to watch things unfold from the sidelines. Honestly, he was around to cater to Zuko fans and nothing more, while having the potential to BE much more. Fans used this character a thousand times more than the show ever did.

Desna and Eska: not a lot of people liked them, but the fact remained that they had potential, especially after turning against their father and becoming leaders of their tribe at such young age. The conflict Desna showed when it came to Unalaq was actually pretty nice, and for me to say such a thing about ANYTHING in Book 2 is a shocker. And yet they practically did nothing else in the other seasons, aside from a creepy joke that sounded like incest was being hinted at. Neat-o.

Senna: it’s actually embarrassing that the show did next to nothing with Korra’s MOTHER. I have no doubts she had potential, honest to gods. It’s disappointing to no end that all we know about her, by watching the show, is that she’s someone’s wife and someone’s mom. She’s cute and adorable and just... there. Cool. What a waste. 

I suppose there are more characters worth sorting in here, but if I keep going I won’t get to any other asks. So here you go :’D