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karuuhnia · 9 months

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Okay, I doubt anyone’s ever gonna read this, but I just need to write down my thoughts on Good Omens Season 2. (Beware of spoilers)

The Characters

First of all, I love, love, LOVE the writing and especially the acting of everyone involved! Both Michael Sheen and David Tennant (and everyone else) gave absolutely stunning performances! I also like that the main cast was a lot smaller than in season 1, so everyone had more time to shine. Great choice! (I did however kinda miss God’s narration and meta commentary).

My favourite new character is Muriel by far. She is like Aziraphale's cute, naive, dorky little sister or niece and I had the biggest smile on my face whenever she was on screen! I hope to see more of her in season 3 (which we probably will since she now runs the bookshop).

What I also liked was that Nina and Maggie don’t just magically fall in love in the end. I mean, they barely know each other and Nina is still in a relationship for most of the season. I liked that they even call out Crowley and Aziraphale for trying to force a romance between them instead of treating them like real humans with free will. (Was that a slight call-out to shippers in fandoms? Who knows lol) I hope they'll find love along the way, but I'm glad they were portrayed as realistic human beings.

Gabriel goes from smug, condescending asshole everyone loved to hate to adorkable himbo and I'm all for it! lol I wasn't in the fandom back in the day, but apparently Gabriel x Beelzebub was a popular ship and I can only imagine how happy the fans must be now that it became canon! I didn't see it coming at all, but it played out really well and didn't come across as forced. I just found it a bit funny and sad that these two fell in love and decided to break away from Heaven and Hell to be together in only a couple of years whereas Crowley and Aziraphale haven't managed to do that in more than 6000 years.

Which brings me to...

The Last Episode

We all know the last 20 minutes of episode 6 were absolutely heart-wrenching, but I wouldn't have it any other way! It was the perfect ending/cliffhanger in all regards and both their decisions make perfect sense. I wouldn't have wanted Crowley and Aziraphale to get their happy end at this point in the story because they're simply not there yet, character-wise.

Also, then a huge plot point and conflict would miss from the final 3rd season. I live for the angst and the drama and I can't wait for satisfying character development and the ultimate, heartfelt conclusion. (Please, Neil! ;__;)

Character Analysis

Crowley:

The most interesting things for me were the several hints that Crowley used to be a very high-ranking and powerful angel before he fell (maybe Gabriel’s predecessor?).

In S2-1 Aziraphale already knows who Angel Crowley is and looks at him with awe and admiration. (In German we have the great expression "jemanden anhimmeln" - roughly meaning sth like "to admire someone as if they came from heaven")

Crowley was part of the designer team of the universe and worked together closely with the higher-ups. He was also entrusted with starting the engine of a quadrant.

He is a creator and visionary who loves the stars, the planets, the whole universe and sees the big picture. He also uses critical thinking and encourages others to do the same.

The miracle he performs with Aziraphale to hide Gabriel’s identity is so strong that Heaven thinks the most powerful of Archangels must have done it. Since Aziraphale hides Gabriel from Hell and Crowley hides him from Heaven, but the alarm only goes off in Heaven, we can assume that Crowley had a bigger part in the miracle.

He can somehow deceive other angels from recognizing him as a demon: Gabriel, Michael & Co. in the Ijob episode and later Muriel when she first comes to observe Aziraphale.

He can change the weather and cause fire or lightning at will.

He still has access to classified files for dominions or above.

He literally brings the guy who was killed by the demon horde back to life like it's nothing. Short update: Neil recently said that Mr. Brown wasn't actually dead but only held captive during the battle. Well, Crowley at least healed Mr. Brown's injuries and removed his traumatic memories.

He is the only one in a room full of high-ranking angels who recognizes Metatron as what he is.

But it’s also implied that Crowley may have memory loss after he was kicked out of heaven because the angels did to him something similar to what they want to do to Gabriel now.

He doesn't remember working on the universe with Saraqael.

He remembers being in the Great War, but not battling right beside Furfur.

He vaguely remembers discussing gravity with the other angels, but he doesn’t remember why it was a good idea.

He seems to know exactly what the amnestic Gabriel is going through (the empty house metaphor, the physical pain of trying to remember etc.)

Crowley is hiding a huge trauma and it becomes really obvious how hurt and lonely he really is.

In S1-5 we learn Crowley was tortured by being thrown into a pool of boiling sulfur, just because he dared to ask a few questions and make suggestions. Heaven is cruel beyond all measure! (But because of their chronic lack of communication I doubt Aziraphale knows exactly how much Crowley suffered both physically and mentally.)

At the end of the Ijob episode in season 2 he laughs at the distraught Aziraphale because he knows what it’s really like to have fallen. The thought of someone like Aziraphale going to Hell is ridiculous to him. And he wouldn’t wish something so terrible on anybody anyway, especially not Aziraphale. He knows first hand what Heaven does to “traitors”.

He’s been tortured and kicked out of Heaven, but he doesn’t resent creation itself like the other demons do, quite the contrary. He often goes out of his way to help humans, even if it means punishment from Hell.

Because both Heaven and Hell are cruel and toxic, he decides he doesn’t want to be on any side in this eternal and pointless conflict. This, of course, leads him on a very, very lonely road.

Maybe this is why he (consciously or unconsciously) latches onto Aziraphale so much: He notices Aziraphale’s own doubts about the heavenly plan really early on. So he constantly encourages him to question his beliefs and own morals.

I don’t think he does it for overly selfish reasons, he just wants to show someone else that not everything is black and white and that Heaven’s plans are not always as good as they want to come across. But of course he also doesn’t want to be all alone anymore.

Aziraphale:

Aziraphale is, first and foremost, a guardian, a protector. But we can’t forget he is also a warrior and a leader.

In the beginning he was wielding a flaming sword, in S1-5 he is supposed to lead the heavenly troops into battle, in 1941 we learn he owns and knows how to use a gun. In S1-6 he is willing to shoot the Antichrist (who is in the body of a child I might add!!), but Madame Tracey stops him.

He likes spending his time helping others and indulging in his quirky little hobbies, but if he needs to, he steps up and becomes a leader (e.g. the stand-off in S2-6 when the demons and angels shout at each other and he takes control of the situation).

Aziraphale embodies many positive core values: Love, loyalty, politeness, kindness, forgiveness - which sometimes lets him come across as naive. He is also a big people pleaser.

In Season 2 we once again see how much Aziraphale values and loves humanity (more than we deserve tbh). His heart is so big and full of love for them. He is his best self when he can do good for humans and he thrives off it. The thought of innocent people, especially children dying is really the only thing that ever convinces him to go against Heaven’s rules/orders (seen in the entirety of season 1 and in season 2 in the Ijob and graverobber episodes).

But because of these core values he sometimes acts pretty holier-than-thou and hypocritical: He tends to try to make others do the dirty work so that he can wash his hands of responsibility.

We also learn that he sometimes abuses his heavenly powers to get what he wants. I mean, organizing a ball itself is a very wholesome idea, but he literally manipulates everyone’s clothes, feelings and behaviours, making them do or feel things they wouldn’t normally do in this situation. Nina is the one affected by this the most: She just got dumped and is sad and angry, but Aziraphale’s magic doesn’t allow her to feel those very valid emotions. He only means to do good, but ultimately he forces his will on the participants of the ball. And he doesn’t even realize it! This is not okay.

There is this one very meaningful line in Season 1 where Aziraphale says: "You go too fast for me, Crowley". And it really shows in every aspect of his personality and character design.

Aziraphale always wears similar, familiar clothes and barely changes his hairstyle over the centuries. Crowley on the other hand looks completely different in each time period we see him. Crowley lives in the present, goes with the time, Aziraphale lives in the past, can’t catch up.

No matter how often Heaven disappoints and mistreats him, he still desperately clings to the idea that their plans and institution are good at their core. Even after more than 6000 years Aziraphale is still so obsessed with the idea of good vs. evil, Heaven vs. Hell and to an extent even Aziraphale vs. Crowley. Yes, the two have become visibly closer and more familiar with each other since season 1, but Aziraphale still thinks in the good side vs. the bad side ("my people" vs. "your people", “Of course you said no to Hell, you [not “THEY”!!] are the bad guys!”) absolute, whereas Crowley has distanced himself from both sides long ago and only wants to be with Aziraphale.

Besides their lack of communication this is their biggest problem: Aziraphale can’t accept Crowley for what he is - or is not anymore.

First there is some sort of resentment and caution towards this fallen angel, of course. But Aziraphale wouldn’t be Aziraphale if his big loving heart held onto those feelings for long. He quickly sees that Crowley isn’t purely evil as demons are supposed to be. He likes and WANTS to see the good in everything and everyone.

Aziraphale begins to enjoy Crowley’s company over the centuries and eventually trusts him completely. But due to his indoctrination by Heaven he still unconsciously believes that Crowley, as an evil demon, is beneath him, Aziraphale, who is a righteous and morally superior angel. And while he has compassion and sympathy for Crowley and his terrible fate - he also somewhat pities him. (And being pitied is certainly nothing Crowley wants.)

This is the reason he is so incredibly happy about the thought that he could give Crowley his angel status back. As sad as it is to see how little Aziraphale understands Crowley after all those millenia, it feels completely in-character why he wants Crowley to be an angel again. He sees that there is still so much good left of the former angel he admired so much. He witnessed how brilliant Crowley used to be, an angel who loved creating and gazed at the universe with such exaltation. How happy he was, how bright, how enthusiastic in what he was doing!

This plays right into Metatron’s hands in the last episode.

Early in the season Crowley is offered a huge promotion in Hell if he finds Gabriel. And Crowley doesn’t even consider it for a single second - even though he hates Gabriel (He still clearly remembers the "Shut your stupid mouth and die" and all the other horrible things). When Aziraphale is offered the new position as Supreme Archangel he hesitates at first, but as soon as Metatron suggests reinstating Crowley to angelic status, he agrees in delight. Aziraphale thinks now they wouldn't have to be separated, they could even be together officially and it wouldn’t be reprehensible anymore because they’d now both be angels, both on the “good” side. They’d finally be equals and could even do good together, change the system.

So of course, from Aziraphale’s perspective, making Crowley an angel again would solve all of their problems (or what he perceives as problems). He, Aziraphale, wouldn't have to have a bad conscience anymore for spending time with someone who should be a mortal enemy. He could finally “fix” Crowley, make him truly good again. But of course it backfires horribly.

Their relationship:

As much as I loved the funny banter, the wholesome and adorable slice-of-life moments, this season made one thing really obvious to me: There is a big power-imbalance (for the lack of a better word) between them in their relationship.

As far as we've seen, Crowley is almost always the one who gives, Aziraphale is almost always the one who takes. When Aziraphale wants something (e.g. protect Gabriel, take the Bentley to Edinburgh, have Crowley take care of the bookshop in his absence, organize a dance etc.), Crowley initially refuses - but in the end always gives in to what Aziraphale wants.

Aziraphale is very outgoing, has a whole little community with the vendors in his street, actively mingles with humans and has hobbies (reading, collecting books, eating at fine restaurants, listening to music, practicing magic, going on little detective adventures etc.). What I’m saying is: Aziraphale has a life for himself, even after becoming a persona-non-grata in Heaven.

Crowley on the other hand... He either goes along with what Aziraphale does/wants or sleeps in his car (and takes care of his plants I guess). That's pretty much it. He doesn’t get any new tasks from Hell and only communicates with Shax on occasion when she brings him his mail or random news. He is so isolated from Hell, Heaven and Earth that literally his only reason for existing at this point seems to be Aziraphale. He practically has no ambitions or life of his own. Aziraphale always lets Crowley be his rescuer because it makes Crowley happy. But isn’t it sad that Crowley is only ever happy when he can protect and be around Aziraphale? Crowley’s whole life revolves around him and nothing else. This is not healthy!

Think back to season 1 when the bookshop burns down and Crowley thinks he’s lost Aziraphale forever. He is a mess, he screams and cries and breaks down. It was only for a couple of hours, but he’s experienced what a life without his one true friend is like and the loss hits him so hard, it hurts even us as an audience!

And the worst thing: I don't think either of them really notice all that - because they don't TALK! Nina and Maggie were so right: The two idiots never really talk to each other about their true thoughts and feelings.

There is so much miscommunication and misunderstanding of each other's needs because of that:

Aziraphale is internally conflicted about what he wants (be a good angel of Heaven vs. be with the enemy, an "evil" demon).

Crowley knows exactly what he wants (to be with and ONLY with Aziraphale), but he can’t muster up the courage to say it. After all, the last time he spoke freely about his thoughts, he was branded a traitor, tortured and cast out by Heaven.

So they constantly fail to find a solution that both of them are happy with:

Both in Season 1 and 2 Crowley asks Aziraphale to leave everything behind and run away with him, not acknowledging Aziraphale's undying love for and loyalty to humankind. And he gets rejected for it both times.

In S2-6 Aziraphale asks Crowley to come to Heaven with him, not acknowledging how Heaven has hurt Crowley, not accepting him for who he is. Instead he wants to fix him. Over the years he has also become so used to Crowley always being there for him, he takes his help for granted. So when Crowley actually stands his ground for once and refuses to do what Aziraphale wants, it shocks Aziraphale to his core. He’s never been rejected like that.

They aren’t humans, they are both ageless, sex- and genderless, asexual, otherworldly beings, so human relationship standards don’t apply to them. We can also see that in Gabriel’s and Beelzebubs relationship. Their love is something emotional, not physical. They don’t kiss or even hug, they just look at each other and sing "Everyday" - their personal love song - before they go off together.

Crowley and Aziraphale have spent so much time away from Heaven and Hell and lead almost human-like lives on Earth. So in a desperate, last ditch effort Crowley chooses to show his emotions in a very physical, human way, a way that beings like them wouldn’t normally do. But it’s his very last chance to make Aziraphale understand. So he kisses him. It’s an angry, sad, messy, utterly unpleasant kiss, it’s painful to look at.

Aziraphale doesn’t kiss back, his hands are erratic. He is so torn. His heart and his brain tell him two different things. He needs Crowley, but Crowley refuses to come to Heaven with him.

And what is the first thing that comes to Aziraphale’s mind after the kiss? “I forgive you!” Because that’s what he’s good at, right? Forgiveness. He told Maggie that in the first episode of the season. I don’t know what exactly he wants to forgive and I’m not sure he knows himself.

When they part they’re both in emotional agony, they both feel betrayed. Crowley storms out, but still waits outside his car. He still has this tiny bit of hope left that Aziraphale will come with him after all. He only gets in and drives off once he sees the doors to Heaven close behind Aziraphale and Metatron.

Metatron’s plan

I read some theories that Metatron poisoned Aziraphale’s coffee, but I really, REALLY hope that this isn’t true. It would take away all the gravity of Aziraphale’s decision if he is just drugged to go along with Metatron and comes to his senses once the drug wears off. That would be boring and lame!

I also don’t think that Crowley and Aziraphale switch appearances again as they did in Season 1: Clearly Metatron would be able to see through the disguise, he is much more powerful than the angels after all.

No, I think Metatron cleverly manipulates Aziraphale by giving him the opportunity (or rather the illusion thereof) to make changes in Heaven with Crowley at his side. Aziraphale is so convinced that Crowley would be full of joy and gratitude at the prospect of becoming an angel again. He once again fails to understand that this is the exact opposite of what Crowley wants.

Metatron on the other hand appears to know Crowley much better in that regard. He remembers how powerful Crowley is and how far he fell for asking the wrong questions. He loathes Crowley and would never want him in a position of power in Heaven ever again. So from the outset Metatron knows that Crowley would not agree to become an angel again, that’s why he makes that specific offer to Aziraphale in the first place. It’s his clever way to make the two fall out with each other, to separate them and still win Aziraphale over for his plan.

I just wonder what his real goal is here. Michael or Uriel seem like a much more logical choice for Supreme Archangel if he really only wants to go through with the next Armageddon. That can’t be everything, right? He knows that Aziraphale actively worked on preventing the first Armageddon. Why would he think Aziraphale would now be on board for the second one? Metatron can’t underestimate Aziraphale that much, right? He’s way too cunning to believe that Aziraphale is weak-minded and gullible.

I mean, I’m not too versed in religious mythology, but doesn’t the Second Coming of Christ mean Judgement Day and that God’s kingdom takes over the world after smiting all enemies? That doesn’t sound like something Aziraphale wants (especially the smiting of all enemies which would include Crowley). So why does he still agree to go with Metatron after learning about this???

Does Aziraphale think he can outsmart Metatron and all the other high-ranking angels and avert the end of the world when he’s in a position of power? I mean, he is intelligent, he must have a plan after hearing about the Second Coming, right? That would at least somewhat explain his very weird and uncanny smile during the credit roll. I just don’t know what to think about all this.

My best guess is that Aziraphale will first try to undermine Metatron and speak to the Almighty Themselves (something he already wanted to do in season 1 but was denied), and also to make positive reforms in Heaven. But Metatron sees this coming of course. To make Aziraphale his obedient puppet he will simply threaten to erase Crowley from the Book of Life should Aziraphale ever dare to step out of line.

Crowley never told Aziraphale about what he and Muriel found out in Heaven - that Michael & Co. were actively planning Armageddon 2.0 before Gabriel went renegade. But now Crowley can’t do anything to help prevent it because he knows that Aziraphale is completely at Metatron’s mercy.

I’m dying to see how this will all play out, but at this moment I’m just confused and unsure about all of this.

So what do I want/expect from season 3?

I want Crowley to overcome his trauma, his pain, his trust issues, all the rejection and loss he faced. I want him to be able to be himself: Free, loved, respected, cared for, accepted. I want him to live a happy life with, but not live FOR Aziraphale. I want him to make other meaningful connections. Maybe with Muriel? She is the only other kind and good-hearted angel we see in the show and a friendship would benefit both of them greatly in my opinion.

I want Aziraphale to fight for Crowley, to protect him for once. When they meet again I want him to do the stupid apology dance for three hours. I want him to finally accept Crowley as his best friend, his soulmate, his true love, his equal. I want him to take Crowley’s glasses off, look him in the eyes and then be the one to lean in for a kiss. A kiss that isn’t forceful and desperate, but heartfelt and genuine.

As for the plot of season 3… I’d really like to see a flashback of the often mentioned Great War between the angels and soon-to-be-demons. I’d also like characters from season 1 to make a cameo appearance if possible. Apart from that I don’t have any predictions or big ideas (as I said before, still very confused about Metatron’s plan).

I will put my faith in Neil Gaiman and Wait and See (TM) what he ultimately comes up with. :’)

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #karuuhnia writes

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anthonybrxdgerton · 7 months

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i completely respect an actors choice to step away from a project but IMAGINE: S2 where Simon, as the godson to lady D and the closest male relation (plus a duke to boot) takes on the responsibility of male protection for kate/edwina. meaning he get revenge on anthony when he starts courting edwina and also immediately figures out hes in love with kate. once anthony and kate are engaged he makes a point to chaperon & keep them from doing the hanky panky pre wedding

Simon would have put the end to Anthony's stupidity as soon as he had the chance, let's be honest here. And Kate and Anthony would give him a run for his money while sneaking out unchaperoned until Simon threatens to borrow the cane from his godmother. Not that it stops them, they're just getting more creative.

This ask inspired me to write something short, hope you enjoy that!

Simon shakes his head in disbelief as he observes his oldest friend continuously embarrassing himself whenever he is in Kate’s presence. The sight of Miss Edwina, completely oblivious to her surroundings as she gazes adoringly at Anthony, who only has eyes for her sister, causes Simon to narrow his eyes and sigh with defeat.

Later that evening, Simon takes Anthony to Mondrich’s club, where he listens with growing irritation as his friend recounts their day together, focusing solely on the eldest Miss Sharma. Simon shakes his head, trying to bite down the annoyance. There is only one way to make Anthony see reason and stop the impending disaster Simon can see happening, and he knows he needs to stay calm.

“You’re doing a phenomenal job of making her fall in love with you,” Simon remarks nonchalantly, feigning disinterest as he surveys the establishment. “I assume you’ve had a change of heart regarding a love match? I am proud of you, old friend.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Simon notices Anthony freeze, setting down the drink he was about to consume. Simon hides his smirk behind a mask of indifference.

Hook.

“What are you talking about?” Anthony’s voice is full of warning and Simon snickers inside. Oh, this shall be good.

He makes a big show of pretending he doesn’t hear him until Anthony is forced to repeat the question. “Oh, come on, Bridgerton, no need to be modest here! Miss Edwina can barely tear her eyes away from you, blushing every time you so much as look at her. And you are the only thing she wants to discuss, too,” Simon adds with a smirk. “Just the other night, she was telling us how deeply in love you must be, courting her so ardently and inviting her to Aubrey Hall so early. Miss Sharma and I were all ears.”

Anthony pales with each word until his hands are shaking.

Line.

Simon feels guilty for causing his friend such distress and for embellishing the truth. In reality, it wasn’t Miss Edwina who confided in him; it was Kate who approached him with her concerns, troubled by Edwina’s infatuation with the viscount. Simon promised Kate to help Anthony see reason and do everything in his power to prevent the courtship from progressing, all without causing any scandal. After all, Anthony’s desire for a loveless marriage didn’t align with Edwina’s dreams.

He repeats that to himself to appease his conscience as he takes a deep breath, preparing to deliver the final blow.

“Miss Edwina believes she has found a love match with you,” Simon says, hoping to shock Anthony into reconsidering his ill-conceived plan.

Anthony’s eyes widen in a mix of shock, horror, and concern, leaving Simon uncertain of his true emotions. Nevertheless, Simon knows that this revelation is necessary for Anthony to abandon his ill-thought-out plan.

“I do not— this is not a love match,” Anthony hisses angrily after a while, downing his drink in one gulp. “You know this, Hastings. Miss Edwina must be mistaken.”

“Ah, but she believes otherwise,” Simon counters. “Miss Sharma and I tried to persuade her to give other suitors a chance, but she is already eagerly anticipating a proposal. She hopes for it to be as romantic as possible, Bridgerton, complete with a declaration of your undying love.”

Anthony’s jaw drops, and he swallows hard, vigorously shaking his head in disbelief.

Sinker.

Simon drinks his whiskey in peace, knowing his friend well enough to trust his judgment, even if what he had just said wasn’t entirely true. Sometimes, it was better for Anthony to remain blissfully unaware, Simon thinks. As much as it pains him to admit it, Anthony’s plan for a loveless marriage isn’t as uncommon as one might think — most marriages among the ton are business arrangements. However, Anthony’s plan had a flaw— he had chosen to pursue a woman who believed in love.

So, Simon might have lied a little about Edwina’s attachment. He and Kate know that Edwina likes Anthony, but she is not in love with the viscount — both Kate and Simon agree with that assessment, knowing that Edwina’s admiration will not turn into anything more if Anthony shifts his interest elsewhere.

Lost in his thoughts, Simon was interrupted by Anthony’s hesitant voice —a tone he had never heard from his friend before.

“I should have listened to Kate. She was right all along,” Anthony muttered to himself.

Simon’s eyes narrow. Kate? Since when is Anthony on the first name basis with Miss Sharma, the sister of the woman he’s courting?

However, Anthony’s nervously drumming fingers and glassy eyes’ prevent Simon from questioning him at that moment. But as soon as Bridgerton announces his intention to end the courtship and leaves the club to do so, Simon knows that he will have to have another conversation with his brother-in-law.

This time, it would be about the other Sharma sister.

He feels a dull ache in his temple and purses his lips. Only his best friend can give him a migraine without even trying.

God Almighty, Simon thinks, massaging his temples as the server pours him another drink, Bridgerton will only complicate his life even more now, won’t he?

And as Simon stares out the window, he can’t help but think about how Anthony seems to care more about Kate than Edwina. The fact that Kate blushed when Anthony complimented her dress earlier that day only adds to Simon’s headache.

He will have to keep them away from each other, right? He clenches his jaw at the thought and thinks about asking Daphne about her opinion.

Simon sighs as he stands up to go home, thinking about how much more suited Kate is for Anthony and how she would fit the role of Lady Bridgerton.

He pauses, considering. Now there’s an idea.

#bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #simon hastings #kate sharma #kanthony #writing #my writing #fanfiction #oh i wish this happened in season 2 #imagine the friendship between kate and simon #the unstoppable duo

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raayllum · 11 months

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I have a question, in good faith. I just answered a question about my opinion of Season 4, and a big reason I give it a 7.5 out of 10 is that they broke the main couple up off screening a graphic novel.

Now I didn’t go into detail, but this probably takes off a whole point for me, because I don’t feel like we should have to read extra material to understand what’s happening in the main plot line. Is this the first time we’ve ever had to read extra material not for bonus information but an understanding of the main story?

Hello, yes, I love answering questions in good faith. Can't promise that I'll have a satisfactory answer, but hopefully I can provide a not overly long one, for once!

Through the Moon (the graphic novel of which you speak) is the only supplementary material (thus far) that's been released that isn't a prequel, so in that vein, I'd say yes. The graphic novel does explain that Rayla left (and shows her leaving) before the 'reveal' drop at the end of 4x01. She left approximately a month and a half after S3, so right around / on Callum's birthday (which, we didn't know it was his birthday in the graphic novel itself, so that's almost undoubtedly something that got added to S4 for Callum&Viren foils and general heartbreak reasons).

However, to me, and this also due to having friends who watch the show casually, or have not read the graphic novel Through The Moon (TTM)... I genuinely do not think you need to read it unless you don't want Rayla leaving to have been a 'surprise' (which some people like to know spoilers ahead of time, which is fair). Given that there's a timeskip and an arc wrap up (and that we actually got to see them be a cute couple in S3, not just at the last minute) some sort of shift was probably to be expected. All the plot context TTM is given pretty early on in S4, but there are also fun little connections to make as you go on rewatches, for example:

4x01 reveals that Rayla is not only not at the castle, but MIA, and that the boys don't know if she's alive/okay. The context from TTM is that her risk taking decisions were already a concern for him, which can probably be deduced from the show's canon anyway, given that he jumped off a mountain for her.

4x01 and 4x02 also show that rather than being mostly curious about unknown things like before, they actively make him agitated/anxious (Soren's secret keeping, the blank book, trying to decipher the mirror). TTM adds context to this in that Rayla told him she would let him come with her, and then went back on that promise, but canon already makes this clear in 4x01 with "I don't even know if she's alive"; he has no answers about Rayla. That is also undoubtedly one of the reasons he's agitated. However, while her lie is insult to injury, the show never brings it up as a reason he's mad at her; it was always her extended absence: "So you disappeared for two years for no reason at all?" / "Well, maybe you might know that if you'd been here the last two years." Again: the lie isn't an actual thorn in his side (seemingly) so it's a thing from TTM that is omitted, because it isn't emotionally relevant.

Then she shows up and we learn, specifically, that she went to hunt down Viren. Rayla has always been a paranoid ("Sooner or later, we're going to run into someone from 1x06, "There's danger coming, I know it" from 2x01) person with an independent streak. Rayla leaving to kill Viren because she doubts her own abilities, when she spends most of the first few seasons doubting them (particularly in S1 and S3) and fearing failure ("You let him live but killed us all") is also very in character. One of my favourite little details is that Callum struggles to say Viren's name at all ("It's something Lord -- the previous high mage left behind") until Rayla shows up ("So you must have found Viren, huh? Was he dead after all?") because that trauma - Rayla was so sure that she failed that she couldn't trust they were safe - is so intertwined.

A lot of S2, as well, spent hammering in the fact she didn't want to lose Callum (to Soren and Claudia, to his pursuit of magic, to dark magic, to death). Her leaving him behind to protect him is not something that's a big logic leap to make, I think. After all: "It's okay, Callum. I'm not asking you to come with me. Protecting that dragon doesn't just feel like the right thing to do, it feels like the right thing for me to do" (2x07) and "But... I'm not going with you. You and Ezran should take Zym. But I can't leave" (3x08) and her almost confession last but not least: "Callum please, come back! You've got to stay with me [...] I can't lose you like this, you mean too much to me" (2x09).

TTM adds context - the nightmares about Viren ruining the life she still had, and her and Callum's increasing mutual fear of losing each other. They quite honestly don't even break up. Now, I don't think things would've gone well if Callum had gone with her (relationship wise) given their differing priorities in TTM and also how they show love (for Rayla it's protection, for Callum it's togetherness), but the last conversation they actually have in TTM is

Now, I'm not exactly expecting a casual reviewer to remember and notice all the tiny things, but I am expecting them to remember major plot points, specifically that Rayla really struggles with letting people help her (1x06 and 3x04 both leading to disasters with Zym being in danger because of it) because she doesn't feel like she deserves it, and that she has a tendency to be overly self sacrificial (too many episodes to count).

Her trying to save the dragon in S2 was heroic, yes, but also stood out to me specifically as "This tendency of risking herself is going to be something that she and Callum have to confront and work through, because it is diametrically opposed to them functioning as a long term couple/team". When she wants to stay behind and die for her parents mistakes in S3, the only reason she doesn't stick with that is because she learns that they didn't run, not that she didn't have to die even if they had. So something like this, even if not in so dramatic a way was something that I'd been expecting for a few years now. S4 and Callum's anger at her abandonment is the first time we've seen this tendency be solely in a negative light, in a lot of ways, which is really exciting, and I don't know how much they'll get back together until Rayla has had the epiphanies she needs to.

The biggest thing to me that TTM adds to S4 is that Callum isn't just upset at Rayla for leaving him, but that he's mad at her for leaving without him, specifically. He wanted to go with her, he didn't totally believe in the mission but he wanted to keep her safe, citing "I let you go into the Moon Nexus alone" (earlier in the graphic novel, and not without protest) "and I knew right away I made the biggest mistake of my life. I could have lost you." But again, I expect this sentiment to be something that is far more readily explored in S5, and is also something you can kinda piece together given how often he runs after her in the first three seasons, and him reading what's implied in show and confirmed through TTM to be her goodbye letter because she didn't think she was coming back (4x01 credits):

TDP official also in the lead up to S4 released the goodbye letter, which we'd never read before, and it broke all of our hearts.

TLDR; to me, TTM isn't necessary unless you want a deeper read on the characters. I expect S5 to give them more of a chance to talk and perhaps explain their own actions in S4 more (again, reaffirming that fear of losing each other, which was the root of his anger and of her leaving) but I don't think TTM is necessary unless you want the specifics. All you need to know is that Rayla left to hunt down Viren and Callum has been very sad about it since. You get all of that within the first couple of episodes. The biggest question that TTM raises that S4 doesn't answer is, if she was so dead set on her mission, how and why did she convince herself it was okay to come back at all, but again: I think S5/S6 will have the answers on that.

#baatarthefirst #i wanted this to be three paragraphs. why do i ever think it'll just be three paragraphs #through the moon #thanks for asking #requests #arc 2

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qan-t · 6 months

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hello everyone it is time for Shipping Opinions. this is rambly and about locktie and why i'm not into it. disclaimer: if you locktie that is fine! i do not judge you as a person! if you don't want to read negativity about your otp that is also perfectly fine, please have a good day.

alright, let's begin. so a lot of why locktie doesn't work for me is that i can honestly only see it as going very very badly for the both of them in the long term. and don't get me wrong, i'm a Toxic Relationship Enjoyer. it's just that with these two in particular, especially tieria, it hits some really specific squick points for me, and i'll elaborate on that later. this is how i would interpret locktie in a scenario where neil survives fallen angels: i can see things getting co-dependent on tieria's part easily, especially taking Literally Everything Else into account. but most critically, neil never dies, so he never has to move past neil. and neil... i just can't see him able to genuinely reciprocate romantic feelings for anyone. frankly, i don't think he's interested in romance, and i also don't think he's in a mental state at any point in s1 where he'd even believe he has anything to offer to anyone romantically. in our 'neil survives' scenario, he still failed. allelujah and setsuna are missing, ali is still alive, celestial being is in shambles, the world has not changed... the man would be a wreck. if he somehow ended up in a relationship with tieria, i can only see it as some kind of one-sided placation on neil's part. maybe he'd feel like "appeasing" tieria in this way is some of the only value he can provide to anyone anymore? imagine tieria confesses his feelings. neil is reeling from everything, he sees how vulnerable tieria is... better to just go along with it, right? though that feels like a stretch of characterization, itself. if tieria did have a romantic confession to neil prior to operation fallen angels, i think neil would have let him down gently precisely because of tieria's vulnerable mental state. for all neil knows, tieria's confusing guilt and gratefulness for love. even if neil did reciprocate, wouldn't he be concerned about taking advantage of tieria's guilt? ultimately, i see a relationship between the two as something that would be miserable for neil and detrimental to tieria's growth. there is a scenario where i'd be somewhat? more open to it, and that's S2-and-onward tieria/neil, and it's because tieria isn't vulnerable anymore. he doesn't need to rely on neil anymore. he's grown and come into his own and he can be the one that neil leans on instead. i mentioned squicks earlier. in locktie, tieria's often so soft and delicate and sad and vulnerable and feminine -- because apparently femininity and vulnerability simply must go together -- and neil is big and strong and comforting and manly! neil is going to Fix him! the gendered roles rub me the wrong way. i just do not like tieria being put in the "girl" role. some of this is personal gender baggage, possibly, but it is what it is. there's a lot of seme/uke vibes that aren't for me, either, and it often doesn't feel like a relationship between equals. again, i am a Toxic Relationship Enjoyer, but where tieria specifically is concerned, it squicks me surprisingly hard. and the thing is, neil can't fix tieria. neil can't even fix himself. neil is cool. he's a badass. and he's dead inside. he's not a hero that goes out in a blaze of glory -- he dies unfulfilled, filled with hatred, and that's what makes him so interesting. he's as broken as every other person on ptolemy. s2 tieria wouldn't be able to fix neil, either, because you can't fix other people in the first place, but s2 tieria would at least be on even ground with him. if neil's found something to live for and come to terms with everything -- which would take a hell of a lot -- then and only then can i see a healthy relationship maybe forming. all this in mind is why it's hard for me to enjoy locktie: not really being able to see it working out in the first place + characterization trends i've observed over the years. plus, overexposure. i can't help developing opinions when it's the fandom otp.

#gundam 00

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number5theboy · 2 years

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if it makes you feel any better they 100% got rid of five's tattoo. they got rid of the powers, the tattoos and the scars. if you want to do a rewatch for yourself, have a look out in s3e10 for:

klaus' hand tattoos and umbrella tattoo are gone + five checks his arm for his umbrella tattoo and finds nothing

diego + ben have no scars on their faces anymore

luther's ape body was kind of a scar, and that's also gone

i get that blackman wants them to have to experience life without their powers... but that doesn't erase their memories or experiences. removing the scars and tattoos as well as the powers?

five, luther and now viktor have canonical issues with their bodies not matching how they feel. i don't have enough faith in blackman or the writing team to deal with this plot point and the effects it has on their lives, in fact i kind of expect them to brush over it entirely.

a lot of these factors were also massive in building their characters, klaus' tattoos were mainly gotten with dave, the stories behind diego and ben's scars were mysterious and hinted at a trauma that they struggled to overcome, luther's body was a huge plot point and massively effected his life, their umbrella tattoos were one of the only things left linking them together (this must have meant something to five especially).

the only one exempt from this treatment was allison who still has her umbrella tattoo and was still bloodied from the fighting when she arrived home.

i have to admit, this does take away the appeal of the characters just a smidge. i doubt we'll get the story behind ben's scar or diego's, and now it feels like none of their actions up until this point have had any impact.

i was admittedly kind of excited by the idea of making two more characters disabled (five and diego), but also kind of relieved that five's chest tattoo got thanos snapped (it was really tacky and meant nothing to him in the end).

It does make me feel better lmaooo

I went back and checked because I remember checking whether he checked for his tattoos and discarded it because I thought he was checking for a pulse on the arm that had been previously cut off, but you're right, he checks for the tattoo later. Alrighty, great, I wrote 5.5k on the subject and now never have to think about the concept of Five founding the Commission ever again. Swell.

I'm just adding something about Allison, which is that Emmy filmed that scene very early into production of S3 and it might not have been decided yet that the reset would remove their tattoos as well, somebody might have come up with that later into production. I'm reserving thinking about whether or not Allison still has her powers because I simply can't say yet, her still having her umbrella tattoo is still very open to being retconned like Sparrow Ben's emo fringe (rip). I don't see why Reginald would leave her powers intact if he stripped them from everyone else.

I agree with you on everything you said, actually. I definitely don't trust the writers to deal with the body issues that Five, Luther and Viktor have, I was genuinely kind of surprised that Luther's body issues got picked back up in S3 after not existing for S2 without explanation.

Your point about their stories being erased is well-taken (apart from Five's tattoo, that one can stay away, it was tacky, you're so right) and I'm not particularly confident, like you, in the writers paying that loss off in an interesting way.

I thought Diego losing his fingers might impact his powers, so I was mildly disappointed for that to not be the case, and Five losing his dominant arm would have had some kind of impact, had it lasted longer than ten minutes. It would have been interesting, but what I feel like is that they do not have the budget to CGI out David's fingers and Aidan's arm for extended periods of time. And seeing how they treated Harlan, I don't feel particularly confident about how the writers would have tackled those disabilities.

Them being wiped clean, their history erased, is the whole point of that cliffhanger, everything they are now only exists in their memories, so if there is a S4, it remains to be seen how this all is tackled.

#Replies #Anonymous

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coop-of-coffee · 2 years

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The Great s2 spoilers (?)

Okay, I just wanna share my thoughts on something, and that something being: ace Orlo.

So, throughout s1 there was the ongoing joke (if you can call it that ig) of Orlo being "a virgin" and some teasing about him not being into women, etc. Since then, I was very 🕵🏻 about all that, making me think that he was either asexual, gay or both.

On the first episodes of s2, Orlo's uninterest in sex was made clearer. And that's when we get to ep 3: Orlo lets Velementov know he got laid the previous night, clarifies it was with a woman and it was his third time having sex.

Later, we see him passionately making out with a guy, which ends up in them having sex, and we know it was his first time with a man bc he was "experimenting", as he put it. Then is where something particularly interesting comes up: he says it felt more or less the same way than when he had sex with a woman, which, to summarize in a word, basically says it was "meh". Plus, he added he'd rather be reading a book.

Having sex with that man didn't make him have the feelings he was supposed to have regarding sex, it didn't get him there and it's obvious he was trying to (hence the "experiment", which, given his other times with women, he was also experimenting, hoping to feel what was expected of him to feel). That scene, at least for me, was the confirmation that he is asexual.

In episodes 4 and 5, we see Orlo clumsily flirt with Katya, the teacher. And in the following ones, it is clear they started a relationship, which is, to an extent, also sexual. I was kinda expecting the writers to do something like that, because hoping that they would truly look into Orlo's asexuality was, sadly and all things considered, unrealistic.

(not that being ace = not having sex, but in a "he found someone, so he'll now have sex and that's how far exploring this will go" way)

However, I must admit the sex scene Orlo and Katya share in ep 6 kinda reinforces that he's asexual/in the ace spectrum. While he does seem to be enjoying it, it doesn't necessarily mean that he was sexually attracted to Katya (or maybe he was? I feel like that was unclear and it made me doubt a little, but only as to say "maybe he's demisexual"), and it was more of a combination of having her read a book to him, listening to the author's words and an obvious sexual stimuation.

Now, before his relationship with Katya began, I considered him either gayace or aroace, giving s1 and early s2 stuff. When he was kissing that guy in 2x03, he seemed to be way more at ease than in pretty much any other scene where a woman looked suggestively at him, where he'd look away or was visibly uncomfortable. I now think he is biace solely because he did seem to like Katya, but I'd be happy to be proven otherwise, bc I feel there's much more material to back up gayace or aroace Orlo, despite being biace myself.

In ep 9, where he calls things off between them after Catherine finds out about the money, their goodbye isn't sexual. Granted, it wouldn't have to be, but given the rest of the characters and the show itself, you might guess why I point this out lmao.

In conclusion: Orlo is definitely aspec. There's canon material, which includes dialogues, as evidence. While I'm not angry or upset about how things were handled regarding this part of Orlo, I am disappointed because, imo, it had so much potential. I would have loved to see this explored, to have some scene with Katya luring him into her room and him being hesitant or not thrilled about where that was heading. I would have loved to see a scene like the one he had with the man, but with Katya, where he'd actually talk afterwards about how he feels about sex (i.e. neutral/uninterested/nothing). It had potential to be played with, and come up with something funny like, idk, Velementov walks into them and hears them giggle and they're under the sheets or smth but they're just reading and Velementov is confused and leaves but Orlo covers himself either way even tho they were fully clothed. The show already has a lot of sex, so I do feel that not going deeper into Orlo's asexuality was a wasted opportunity.

#this ended up longer than i thought #oops i guess #but if anyone actually read this ily #i made a thread on twt as i watched this season and shared my thoughts on this very topic #but i have bigger chances of someone stumbling with this here than there #if anyone wants to talk about this PLEASE send me a message bc I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on it #the great hulu #the great #asexual orlo #orlo #count orlo #my ramblings #yes he is my favorite character. what gave it away?#never post stuff like this but i had to get this out of my system and my friend hasn't watched s2 #the great s2 #the great season 2 #asexual #the great spoilers #words words words

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tibby · 3 years

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hey tibby. can you give me a quick synopsis of the jarchie longcon? i'm not going to watch riverdale but i'd like to learn through osmosis

here is a VERY quick run down of it and doesn’t cover archie’s general relationships with men/possible gayness outside of jughead:

in 2003, roberto aguirre-sacasa sets out to debut his play archie’s weird fantasy, in which archie moves to new york, falls in with leopold and loeb, and realises that he’s gay. he receives a cease and desist letter from archie comics the day before the premiere, and is forced to remove all archie references and make it weird comic book fantasy.

roberto goes on to write several episodes of glee. after he departs, one of the characters makes a comment about “archie comics fanfiction where archie and jughead are gay for each other.”

roberto is hired as the chief creative officer of archie comics, and is later the showrunner of riverdale.

jughead is established as the narrator of riverdale. his only interaction with another character in the pilot episode is when he and archie accidentally meet at pop’s diner, and jughead says the gamechanging quote of he was looking for the girl next door. instead he found me.

archie says that he’s never been able to feel whatever it is he’s supposed to feel with betty.

in episode two, gay kevin asks “are we 100% archie’s straight?” reggie jokes that archie and jughead must have killed jason together, as some kind of pervy blood brother thing.

jughead notes that he would do anything to protect archie.

jughead has been living in a closet at school, not wanting to live with his alcoholic father. archie discovers this and invites jughead to move in with him, which he does for the remainder of the season.

cheryl refers to them as “bert and ernie,” historically thought to be husbands.

a lot of the s2 conflict is based around archie and jughead’s relationship, due to archie falling in with rich mob man and greatest character of all time hiram lodge, while jughead is allied with the southside and actively opposed to hiram. despite this, archie agrees to help jughead be a drug runner. it’s at this point that he tells jughead “you know, i had this stupid idea. that after graduation, instead of going to college, we’d both move to new york. you were this writer, and i’d be this musician, and we’d both live in like the east village or something, just doing our thing.” “where are betty and veronica in this scenario?” “they’re roommates on park avenue.” not only is the new york dream a reference to archie’s weird fantasy, but archie’s ideal future involves him living with jughead, and he only mentions their girlfriends when jughead asks about them - and even then, they’re still not in the main picture. archie is jughead’s past and jughead is archie’s future.

jughead and veronica kiss, at which point betty points out that the only members of the core four that haven’t locked lips are archie and jughead.

archie goes to prison, fittingly named leopold & loeb, where he has his first gay kiss, and is immediately stabbed afterwards. jughead, at this point in time, is playing a g&g game that parallels archie’s prison break, and refers to the moment as a judas kiss.

archie and jughead go on the run together and it’s all very intense and homoerotic. they go to hide with jughead’s estranged mother, who immediately suggests that they’re a couple, and “always knew” there was something between them. she is not convinced when they deny it.

archie is diagnosed with gay by the school therapist.

jughead’s facebook header is revealed to be a picture of him and archie.

archie has his second gay kiss in the musical episode. he later kisses betty, and they perform wicked little town (reprise) while dancing in their outfits from the pilot episode. once again: jughead is archie’s future, betty is his past, veronica is his present. all roads lead to jarchie.

everyone else is banned from prom, so archie asks jughead to go with him. jughead replies oh, i’d be honoured, but i’m not putting out. gay kevin quips let the fanfiction begin.

jughead writes an elaborate story in which the gang kills their principal, mr honey. in the original version, jughead betty and archie are pro murder. in the revised one, archie is the voice of reason, the “good guy” of the story, while betty is still a villain. jughead’s writing FRAMES the show, he is the narrator, he writes stories about the stuff that happens to them, and it is always about archie. archie is the star of jughead’s life.

veronica and jughead find out about barcheating, breaking up varchie and bughead. despite this, jughead and archie say goodbye on good terms, and jughead completely forgives archie. he later imagines seeing archie at pop’s diner a year after their graduation, and is saddened when he realises that it isn’t.

after archie leaves riverdale, jughead squats in the andrews house for about a month before college. he doesn’t tell anyone this. it should be noted that he had been living with betty for the past year, and had the option to keep doing so, but it didn’t “feel right.”

everyone comes back to riverdale after seven years, jughead is once again homeless and archie has a “buddy” from army. jughead eventually moves in with archie again, and even refers to him as sweet prince. even after years of radio silence, archie is jughead’s safe place to land.

tl;dr: riverdale is a revenge scheme fifteen years in the making so roberto aguirre sacasa can get back at archie comics for not allowing him to premiere his gay little archie play, and all roads lead to jughead.

#jarchie #for blog organisation purposes #ask #birdbrainless

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achillesmonochrome · 2 years

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I watched S2 Episode 17 and I have more questions than answers

And not of the fun kind.

The idea that the mysterious guy that first appeared in Eda’s Requiem actually being a Titan Hunter instead of one of his own was a neat (for me), at least for me. Like I saw people speculating he was like an uncle, or someone who knew his father; but nah he was just cosplaying one.

But then I thought “He actually believed King was part of the clan, wouldn’t that be odd considering King didn’t know his father, and would not start cosplaying as a Titan since he wouldn’t know thats a tradition of his clan?”

So I decided to re-watch that part of that episode, the stream, to see if maybe there was something in there that was ambigious enough that it could be misinterpreted.

After all, we are lead to believe Tarak saw the video, if not all of it maybe a part that was ambigious enough?

And after seeing it...I have more questions than answers.

Like, one of the first lines of the stream is "I want to introduce myself"; this is the first point that would make it obvious that King couldn't be aware of any traditions, because if he knew his father why make an introduction? And then later he says "I love to meet-ya" which yeah, he doesn't know is father let alone a tradition to use the skill and dress like a titan.

And here is when I had more questions:

In the part where we see Tarak, the part he must has watched without doubt; King says "I found this symbol in the tower I hatched"

Again, no one thought this was odd, so...

...Do witches come from eggs?

I mean, King is a kid, maybe the guy thought "the lad looks young, maybe they told him he hatched from an egg before explaining the birds and the bees"

...Instead of people telling kids the stork brought them in, they say they hatched from an egg?

Or witches DO hatch from eggs? They have a sack of magic in the heart, so that's a difference in and out of itself, so...

...Dana why you do this to me.

#toh spoilers #the owl house spoilers #the owl house #toh #King Clawthorne

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killian-spey · 3 years

Text

Death Would Be Kinder [Ch. 2]

Prev. Ch.

[Drusilla/Spike/Calendar!Reader]

Words: 2276

Fic Concept: Jenny Calendar’s sister spends some “quality time” with the Season 2 Vampire Squad. This chapter takes place during [BtVS S2:E15]

TW/CW: violence, kidnapping, chains?

AN: Idea came from @prose-for-hire ‘s submission to the fic title game. Taglist is at the bottom, let me know if you want to be added!

You’d been sitting silently, watching Spike wheel himself back and forth across the factory. If you didn’t know better he looked like he was pacing. In reality, he was probably checking behind the pillars and corners of the factory for any sign of your friends. It seems the vampires were expecting Buffy to come looking for you. As the time dragged on, your suspicions became reality; Buffy had prioritized the threat of the Judge over saving you. You had to admit, it stung a little, but it was only logical.

Spike peeked his head into each doorway adjoining the main factory floor. You could tell he was getting restless. You contemplated your odds carefully before you decided on taking a calculated risk.

“You lose a sock?” you yelled.

“Did I what?” Spike wheeled back into the room, an odd expression on his face.

“I asked if you lost a sock.” You paused, his intense glare caught you off-guard. “You know… Because of all the pacing. And popping your head in and out of every room in the place. Somebody’s going to think you lost a sock.”

“Well, I didn’t.” He chuckled a bit before going quiet again and stalking around the factory in his wheelchair. You nodded to yourself, deciding to quit while you were ahead. After that, the only sounds left in the factory were the spinning of wheels and an occasional bumping of door frames and frustrated curses.

It had only been a couple hours of his pseudo-pacing before Angelus and Drusilla stumbled their way into the factory. Spike took one look at the state Angelus was in and hid a smirk under his hand by scratching his nose.

“Well, you’re home early. Slayer hasn’t even tried swiping the girl yet.”

Spike’s good mood vanished as he watched them come down the steps. Drusilla was beside herself, and for a moment you found yourself feeling bad for her. Then Angelus opened his big fat mouth and you remembered who these people were.

“Yeah, well things didn’t go exactly according to plan, Spikey.” He prowled the room, circling like a big cat before he gravitated towards you. Your nerves peaked and you swear you saw a glint of pride behind Angelus’ eyes as he heard your heart pick up. He stepped within arms’ reach of you and sneered.

“What I can’t figure out is, why would she abandon you like this?”

“Where’s your big blue friend?” You swallowed your anxiety and stared up at him in challenge, you weren’t going to tell him a goddamn thing. Might as well give yourself a fighting chance. If he figured it out, you were dead already. You were going to be careful, of course, but that didn’t mean you were going to let him win.

Angelus roared, grabbing your face by the jaw. He was suddenly wearing his game face front and center. ‘Buffy really rattled him, huh?’ You remained stoic, as statuesque as you could muster. If you had misjudged his mood, this might be one of your last moments alive.

Drusilla had floated her way over, leaning into Angelus and hugging his arm to her side. Your staring contest interrupted, Angelus pulled away from you. You took the free moment away from the spotlight to run your fingers against the grain of the armrests, trying to ground yourself in the feeling of the wood underneath you. Your panic was bubbling to the surface, tension and pressure building in your ribcage. You caught Spike’s knowing glance towards you as your eyes flickered between the vampires. You dropped your eyes to the floor, frozen as Drusilla subtly coaxed Angelus away from you. Before long, Angelus had stormed out of the factory again, mumbling about sending Buffy a message.

You were grateful and more than a little stunned. Drusilla saved your life. In her own, subtle way she’d dismantled Angelus’ rage and directed it somewhere else. She’d spun him out of the factory towards Buffy with little more than a subtle flirtatious gesture. You practically gawked at her as she made her way into Spike’s lap. She had these men wrapped around her finger and they didn’t even know it.

Well, maybe Spike knew, but he certainly didn’t mind. He was running his fingers through Drusilla’s hair, comforting her as he spoke.

“If you like the hostage so much, maybe you should have a little fun, Ducks.” He wrapped an arm around Drusilla’s waist to steady her as he wheeled towards you, continuing. “She was supposed to be the distraction for the Slayer, after all. That is what went wrong with the plan, wasn’t it?”

Drusilla lifted her head, gears turning as she looked between Spike and you. Your mind rushed with your fears of what she was contemplating. You didn’t put it past them for ‘playing’ to mean something rather unpleasant for you. Drusilla hummed under her breath excitedly, springing from Spike’s lap and practically skipping out of the room. Spike nodded at you, raising his eyebrows as if to say “Hey look, I fixed it!” and wheeled himself into a good position to watch from, a smug grin on his face.

Drusilla returned with two fistfuls of chains and your heart dropped. She fussed with them somewhere behind you and left the rest in a pile as she ducked off again to the other room. Spike flicked his eyes between the chains and his girl curiously, but said nothing as she flurried about the factory. When she returned, she was holding a long carrying case and a small over-the-shoulder bookbag. She dropped them beside the chains and left again without a word.

“Ducks, what is all this stuff?”

Spike called out to her and wheeled over to the bags. He unzipped one when she didn’t answer. You couldn’t see into the bag from your position and Spike’s exasperated reaction didn’t help you either.

Drusilla returned one final time, holding a large blank canvas in each hand. The left was maybe a 20”x24” and the right was maybe a 24” square. (50cmx60cm or 60cm square).

“Which one does the artist like best?”

You paused, unsure if there was a right answer. After a couple moments you pointed weakly to the left canvas. Drusilla smiled at you and put the square canvas down. Spike scoffed as Drusilla set up an easel from the carrying case and put the bookbag on a table beside it.

She dragged the chains over to your chair and kneeled, carefully untying the knots around your right leg. You studied her face; she bit her tongue lightly as she worked, pulling at the ropes with deft, perfectly manicured fingers. After she’d untied your legs and shackled them, she let your arms off the armrests.

She took your hands in hers and pulled you up to stand for the first time in almost a day. You scanned her expression and glanced backwards towards the easel, then back to her with trepidation. She glided you in front of the daunting white canvas and left you, sinking backwards and sitting in Spike’s lap.

You stood, dumbfounded at the prospect of Drusilla wanting you to paint, of all things. She seemed unimpressed by your inaction after a few moments, and had begun whispering into Spike's ear. He'd leaned into her, pulling her closer and snickered at what must have been a rather amusing comment. He flicked his eyes at you through his lashes, a predatory glint flashing behind his eyes as his smirk grew. He straightened in his seat with satisfaction, head held high.

“Paint for the lady or get eaten. Your choice.”

Drusilla’s eyes wandered back to you and provided no comfort, but then again, why should it? You turned back to the canvas, feeling both their eyes staring at you. A calming breath later, you assessed the materials on the table.

The canvas bag she'd brought had a full set of oil paints- far nicer than you'd ever been able to afford. You didn't dare think of the poor shopkeeper she'd probably killed for them. A person just like your Uncle. He was just another obstacle in these people’s way, and for that he was murdered. You shoved the paints to one side of the small table and began assessing the tools. A somewhat rudimentary selection of spatulas and brushes. You could make do just fine with these.

You set up a palette with some blue, red, white, and black to start. A color palette often was the first thought you gave to a painting. This painting would be mostly blues, purples, and grays. Without turning your head, your eyes flicked towards the vampires just off your left shoulder in the periphery. You had never really let anyone sit and watch you paint. It was hard enough showing a finished piece to someone other than family.

You mixed a deep lilac and raised a palette knife to the canvas. You paused, unsure where to place the landscape. The creeping feeling of being watched was throwing you. The white snow canvas was taunting you, paralyzing you. But you weren't about to let it win. Any of them. You closed your eyes and just swiped the palette knife confidently in a bold first stroke. Now you had a puzzle. How does this fit into a landscape? There was no going back now, it had to work.

It was a mountain slope. The hue you used was suitable for a distant fixture seen from a twilit glade. You could lean into that, thinking on how to keep the morbid whimsy of the piece consistent as a theme. You blocked out the clearing and plotted out the forest behind and around it. It fell silent in the factory as you worked, only the scraping of palette knives and brush strokes echoing in the room. Pieces fell in place as you added gnarled willows at the tree line, white ghost pipes and fungi crawling on the foliage, and sickly green fireflies in the weeping branches and crooked thorn bushes. You didn't like how the overall feel of the piece was so damp and dreary. It felt too muted, too blue for what you'd envisioned. You added nettles to the glade in a redder purple, almost magenta, to tie the piece back into the mystical tone you wanted. A few more touches, a ray of silver moonlight here or there, and you stepped back. You contemplated the piece, for some reason feeling unfinished. The glade felt completely untouched, too alone by itself.

You almost jumped when you heard Drusilla shift off Spike’s lap behind you. You froze, dropping your gaze to the floor, unsure of her intentions. With three clicks of her heels against the concrete flooring, she stopped just behind you. So close you would have felt her breath on your neck if she were human. She leaned forward and pulled your hair behind your ear. She placed one hand on your shoulder and raised your head with a finger under your chin, guiding your eyes back to your work.

“Don’t you like it?”

“It’s not bad, actually.” Spike wheeled forward a pace or so to take a closer look at it. Drusilla still seemed to be waiting for your own answer. You studied it again silently.

It did feel telling, in an odd sort of way. It was invisibly and indescribably alive, despite the darkness and isolation. Could be a good metaphor for vampires... Alive and free only after their own deaths. Sure, they may not exactly live up to society’s expectation of a good neighbor, but you couldn’t say they let being dead keep them from living.

Still, the painting felt unsatisfactory, felt incomplete. You shook your head and pondered. You drew up a couple new colors, a ghostly blue and a red-brown clay. You loaded a palette knife with the clay tone and hovered over the painting, indecisive. The central piece as of now was a large, twisting willow on a small inclined mound of earth. The whole painting felt like background to an invisible subject. Nothing tied the eye to the painting, there was nothing to follow. No movement in a living place.

Drusilla took the palette knife from your hand and set it down. She pulled you lightly to step away from the painting, lightly petting your hair.

“Let it rest, you’ll do more later. With a clear mind,”

You let a heavy sigh escape your lungs. She was right. If you kept going now, at the end of your rope, you’d risk doing something that detracted from the painting entirely. You jerked your head up at a loud scraping sound from above you. Angelus had swung the door open on the mezzanine of the factory. He had a vicious grin and a playful look in his eyes, leaning on the guardrail and looking down at the three of you.

“Did you have fun with the Slayer, then?” Spike called up to him.

“Oh, she makes it so easy!” Angelus threw himself at the spiral staircase and rushed down them with glee.

“I barely had to lift a finger to throw a wrench in her little puppy problem.”

Drusilla twitched her head and glided towards him. She was staring at his face, fixated on something you didn’t pick up on. She swiped her thumb across the corner of his mouth and brought it to her own lips.

“Did you bring any home, Angel? I taste a young one on you.”

“Not today, darlin’. Besides, you have that one.” Angelus gestured to you and sauntered off, calling back as he left. “She wasn’t really any use anyway.”

[Next Chapter Soon!]

Tags: @prose-for-hire @soggy-enchilada @misselsbells06

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k-s-morgan · 3 years

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Hi! This isn’t an ask, but more of a rambling that I deemed too long for the comments, that stems from your post claiming Book of Circus as your favourite Black Butler episodes. and to that I say - YES. Book of Murder is a masterpiece. It houses one of my favourite scenes - the one where Sebastian says: "This wasn't a scenario decided by God or fate, but one decided on by my master, with timing decided by my master. I was killed by the criminal expected by my master, by the Hione who came to torment my master", which really captures the essence of whole 'Ciel vs God' dynamic that's woven into the duration of the show.

Throughout the plot, there are three major instances in which an offering is made to Ciel - offerings of redemption. The first is from Angela - a chance to purify himself and have an afterlife - which he so vehemently rejects in the knowledge that he quite literally *is* his darkness, and therefore refuses to rid himself of it.

The second is comes from Abberline in his death, where in his final words he tells Ciel he has a chance to take back his future. And Ciel has to watch him die with the knowledge that he has already made up his mind about his fate. I don't think he's so affected because he regrets selling his soul. I don't think he suddenly wants to live, or no longer wishes for revenge. But I believe the reason he is so affected by Abberline's death is because he holds a sentimentality for him that is not dissimilar to the one he feels for Elizabeth. Ciel is cruel, I don't think he regrets the steps he has taken to get to this point, nor the ones he knows he must take in the future. But though he is cruel, I believe he has a sort of fond curiosity for the untainted goodness that characterises those like Abberline and Elizabeth. Like you said before, he feels condescension towards the man perhaps due to the naivety his blind heroism implies, but I think his attachments to him come from an underlying curiosity to see if such goodness can exist in such a corrupted world - a silent hope to be proven wrong in his cynicism. When Abberline dies, that very hope he didn't even know he had gets shattered. It brings about a sort of forced perspective that makes Ciel question himself in ways we haven't seen before.

Abberline's death had been avoidable and it was certainly in vain. Abberline had died for someone who had already made up his mind - someone who had rejected God once before and would do it time and time again as proven in the anime. Ciel is such an interesting character because, although he is dark, he still values the light and makes some sort of effort to preserve it in spite of the contempt he feels for them. It is the thought of dying in vain that seems to bother him so greatly, not death itself. No, Abberline dying isn't enough for him to want to live again, or to even think about throwing away his revenge - that was never in question. But it is enough to extinguish the lingering flicker of hope he had for humanity (despite being so distanced from term himself).

This, combined with the disappointment he feels at Sebastian's actions, causes the existential haze of uncertainty that leads to the third and final offering. And the most surprising thing is that this offering comes from Sebastian himself. He senses the doubt in Ciel and, like every thought the boy experiences, fails to understand it. He mistakes it for him second-guessing his revenge and decides to discontinue their contract. But he isn't angry - that much is clear. Instead, he wishes him to "forget everything and have pleasant dreams", with a rather wistful expression on his face. What this line ends up reading as is a bittersweet goodbye from the demon - an offering for Ciel to let go of his revenge and find happiness in the afterlife with his now soon approaching death. There is almost a strong disappointment in him, but is not resentful of it - Ciel is human and he can't keep expecting him not to be. His offering almost acts as a thank you for the moments of excitement their contract had given his monotone life and I believe that is why he makes it.

He sticks around to see if Ciel accepts his offer, though already expecting him to, and is there to witness the very moment the boy rejects it. Gone is the uncertainty of Abberline's death and the Paris crisis, and Ciel, the Earl of Phantomhive, returns to him - sharper, colder, more ruthless than ever. Sebastian realises his misjudgement and returns to his side, ready for the final battle. Killing an angel. It's laughably symbolic.

The rejections of God, the evasion of the Hope Diamond's curse (where he even wore two rings as if to taunt the fates), the references in Book of Murder - they all depict this metaphorical sort of battle between Ciel and God. And the ending of Kuroshitsuji II is the depicts how he triumphs over fate, claiming his rightful place as an immortalised creature of Hell.

I know I've gone on a bit of a tangent here in your inbox, but that one quote from Book of Murder is so symbolic to me in the way it sets up the comparison between Ciel and God (in which 'God' represents power over fate).

Before I sign off, though, I just want to make light of the existence of the show's final offering, occurring in the last few minutes of the series. This last offering has nothing too do with God, nothing to do with any complex battle between the Phantomhive and fate, but is much simpler than that. In fact, the final offering of the show comes from Ciel, and he gives it to Sebastian - it's almost poetic, is it not?

"Are you sure you don't want to pull it any tighter?"

In this single, unassuming line, Ciel is asking Sebastian if he wants to kill him, and release himself from the eternal contract they've found themselves in. Such a noble and dignified soul as Ciel would always be sure to make through on his word and, despite the loophole that now extends their contract, he would still be willing to let Sebastian kill him should he wish to do so. The man may no longer be able to take his soul, but the boy can still give the order to kill him and free himself. Ciel's respect for Sebastian is complex and contradictory at times, but what never changes is his willingness to die by his hands and see through to his side of the contract.

“Is it over? The one who plunged me into bottomless darkness… I don’t even know why she did it.”

In the episode where Angela is crushed by the Church, Ciel offers his soul to Sebastian. Even when unsatisfied with the result, his unwavering nobility led him to make good on their deal and fulfil his end of the contract. The earl faced the demon, his expression calm, and with a steady voice said “A promise is a promise. Take it.”

This unwavering dignity and nobility he holds in himself I believe is the reason for this offering and Sebastian's turn to reject it is almost a 'love confession' (as you have brought me to see it) in itself.

As a final sort of note - I just wanted to let you know that, since reading your reply to my comment on TGSTLTH (from a while ago), I brought myself to rewatch Kuroshitsuji II with your interpretation in mind and ended up really enjoying it. You've singlehandedly made me do a complete 180 on a season I previously hated - looks like I had just watched it from the wrong perspective. So, for that, I thank you

Hey! Sorry for getting to your ask just now. I absolutely loved it :D And yes, Book of Murder is a masterpiece - I still remember watching it for the first time. It was late at night, I had to go to bed, everyone was sleeping, but I kept watching because stopping just wasn't an option, I had to know what happened next.

Ciel vs God is such an interesting topic. In some ways, Ciel and Sebastian exist in their own universe where there is no place for anyone else. There is a God aka Ciel and a demon aka Sebastian. And they are both allies and adversaries at the same time - they are tormenting each other and uniting to torment others.

I agree absolutely that Ciel holds a fondness for certain people, with Lizzy and Abberline being a good example. He has a degree of contempt and irritation for them, but they do mean something to him. Ciel's curiosity is a big and detached thing, and this places him on Sebastian's level in such an interesting way because sometimes it's almost like Ciel isn't human himself - humanity intrigues him as if he doesn't belong to it. His fascination with the light just underlines his affinity with the darkness.

I have many thoughts about Ciel's behavior during the days following Abberline's death, and you certainly introduced many excellent points! My general opinion on Ciel's motives is... complicated. I agree that he never felt like really giving up his revenge and trying to live a 'happy' life - he knew it's not for him at that stage already. However, I feel like Abberline's parting words affected him a lot, even if briefly. When Abberline tells him that he can start everything from the beginning, Ciel sounds absolutely heartbroken when he confesses, "I don't have a future." The way he acts later, telling Sebastian to stop and not kill the angel, hesitating, reinforces this idea to me. I think you described it best - Ciel is having an existential crisis. It's not like he suddenly regrets his decisions, but he's temporary unanchored and unsure what he wants and what he should do. Having a dream where Abberline urges him to give up his hatred also seems to affect Ciel, but it's so telling that he wakes up and immediately says, "Sebastian." It's a fascinating arc and I can't wait to explore it.

I love your words about three offerings - so true. And I'm so happy you liked S2 when watching it from a new perspective! I used to be so confused as to why people hated it: it's not perfect, but I thought it was amazing in many ways, especially its bittersweet ending.

#black butler #sebaciel #ciel phantomhive #sebastian michaelis #my fics

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supercantaloupe · 4 years

Text

on Aelwyn Abernant, the Reformed Villain Squad, and redeeming teenage antagonists

an analysis on antagonist character development in Fantasy High. spoilers through sophomore year and (mildly so) the most recent roll20 oneshot. essay under the cut bc i am very long winded

the turnaround with Aelwyn in s2 is handled so well i cant get over it. she was such a major antagonist in the first season and just. despicable. she had no pathos. we hated this bitchy older sister who tried to kill Adaine and her friends and raise an evil dragon, and when she gets knocked on her ass and thrown in jail, we cheer.

and then s2 fucking starts saying “hey she’s in jail still if you’d like to look into that” and pursuing that thread ends up being almost as comedic an idea as it is a reluctant one; it’s also quickly shunted to the background as soon as more pressing leads present themselves, to the point where we almost forget about her until Adaine is kidnapped and then the first time you see her it’s just. viscerally upsetting.

she’s bad. she did evil. she got what she deserved.

but she already got what she deserved. last season.

she got her ass handed to her by a bunch of 14 year olds including her little sister (how embarrassing!). her plans were thwarted. she got punched in the face and made fun of. she already got her punishment.

it just……immediately registers as over-the-top Wrong to be told “hey, remember that antagonist you beat last season? she’s still being punished for that, except it’s way worse than just going to mumple.”

and there’s that reminder that like…this is a teenager. a child. who has been manipulated and abused. which is a really fascinating look at this character we used to see pretty much unilaterally as a one dimensional bitchy villain.

i mean we got a more in depth look at Penelope’s and Biz’s motivations in s1 (Penelope being the popular rich girl sorceress obviously hungry for power and the alllure of the high school clout that is being prom queen, but also we know that her having to turn on her best friend Sam Nightingale as part of the scheme was something she was reluctant and not happy to do; and Biz being that predatory incel creeper type dude besides just a nerd with computers and a lack of social graces). and they were as much willingly active in the plot as Aelwyn was. yet in s1 they really never do bother to explore Aelwyn’s motivations. i remember after watching s1 but before s2 that was one of my biggest lingering questions: why tf was Aelwyn involved?

well. she was manipulated and abused. her terrible parents raised her in an awful environment that conditioned her to Listen and Obey and Behave and Be Perfect, and then Kalina helped cinch the noose around her neck with threats and coersion into the KVS Kaper and the NMK crown debacle. she doesn’t freely choose any of it; she’s coerced, manipulated, abused.

and she already got justifiably punished for her bad actions in s1. the torture is almost literal overkill. it’s just……there’s this immediate turnaround in sympathy and view of the character. on first watch, it’s viscerally upsetting to see her getting so brutally punished for actions she already faced consequences for, and on rewatch, it makes your skin crawl to know she’s being tortured for terrible things she had little choice in carrying out. and tortured by some of the very same people who coerced her to behave terribly in the first place, to add insult to injury.

and it’s still fucking frustrating when they rescue her and her memory gets reset and she goes back to her parents because it’s like “well shit, she’s evil again, and we just wasted all that effort for nothing” but it’s also sad cause we know she’s running back to her abusers and she isn’t happy about it but doesn’t feel like she has a choice. and it’s sadder still that what eventually inevitably gets her to turn to good for good (i.e. away from her parents) is just. a full dissociative mental breakdown.

(but then she survives and it’s gonna be good!!! until Adaine dies in her fucking arms. which is. almost funny. she’s been through so much shit and that isn’t something that Brennan would have just. preplanned. like a written in plot point. no, that was just an unpredictable consequence of the battle. what a juicy fucking moment. she’s been through All That Shit™️ and has finally turned to fight for good and her sister just fully dies in front of her. yeowch)

and she turns out okay in the end. she comes out the other side alive and whole and supported by her sister and her friends, with the hope of a future and recovery. there is an acknowledgement that A) she can and will grow from her mistakes and damage, B) it’s going to be really hard, and C) the post-s2 one shots both prove that she’s doing okay now. hell, she has a whole squad now of other former-teenage-villains-turned-good-guys. she has friends now, Ragh and Zayn, with common ground, and a secret handshake and everything. they’ve all grown from the mistakes of their past into better, happier, healthier people

and about Zayn and Ragh. we’ve seen a lot of characters, protagonist and antagonist, teenage and adult, PC and NPC do some really fucked up shit and get punished for it. but why do they get happy endings? why are Aelwyn, Ragh, and Zayn the only members of the RVS and not someone else like Biz or Penelope or Dayne?

well, the latter two are dead by then; but then again, Biz and Ragh were also killed by the Bad Kids in s1, and subsequently resurrected. (Zayn died too, but was neither killed nor revived at the Bad Kids’ hands, so i’ll get to him in a sec.) and there are plenty of adult antagonists the Bad Kids face who are killed and left that way by the Bad Kids without second thought: Johnny Spells, Coach Daybreak, Captain Wicklaw, the Abernant parents (presuming Arianwen doesn’t survive in the forest for very long, which i doubt). why do some characters get second chances while others don’t?

in the case of Zayn, his death was pretty much out of the Bad Kids’ hands, and they later found out he was manipulated by Daybreak into being bad anyway because of his sad living situation. he was a pretty minor antagonist in the scheme of things, and when we re-meet him as a ghost in the s1 epilogue, he’s pretty obviously remorseful for his actions. and dying seems like a steep enough punishment to me for the shit he did to contribute to the KVX caper; returning as a ghost, free from the trappings of his unfortunate living life, he now has the room and freedom to grow into a better person.

in the cases of Daybreak, Spells, Wicklaw, and the Abernant parents: these are bad people who should know better. these are fully grown adults who actively choose to do evil. whether they think it’s the right thing to do or not (in Daybreak’s case), whether they think it will benefit them and don’t care about anyone else (in the Abernants’ case), or whether they don’t care much at all and are just doing shit because they feel like it (in the cases of Spells and Wicklaw), these are all adults who consciously make the decision to do terrible things and hurt other people. of course Johnny Spells, who is generally a punk thief and thug, is not on the same level of bad as Angwyn, who kidnaps and tortures his own daughters for political gain, but the point remains. these fuckers should know better. they’re grown ups. they had their chances to be good and they chose not to heed them. their minds are set on bad actions and they are a continued danger to other people as long as they are alive. when they die, the Bad Kids do their damndest to make sure it stays that way.

now, in the cases of Penelope and Dayne: these are teenagers who actively chose to participate in an evil plot. Penelope, Dayne, and Biz were all fully cognizant of what they were doing trying to raise KVX back to his former power. why? well, to some extent, we can only speculate. i suspect Penelope was just one of those Regina George bitches who is rich and popular and powerful and obsessed with power and popularity within high school as if that’s the end-all-be-all of existence (which, like, when you’re currently in high school, is a somewhat understandable worldview i think). Dayne being her boyfriend and a musclehead jock probably falls into a similar line of thinking. they are actively and willingly trying to cause harm, and teenager or not, must be stopped. they’re killed, anyway, during the Climactic Battle™️ anyhow; it’s not like the Bad Kids were going to gain anything at that point by keeping them alive.

now, Biz: Biz is the creepy Nice Guy incel type, sees woman as a prize he deserves to win, yadda yadda. he does, like Penelope and Dayne, actively choose to help KVX. there might be something to be said about his motivation the Bad Kids discover after the arcade battle by detecting his thoughts (that being to upload the captured maidens from the palimpsests to “call the shots” himself) is an altered memory; whether this was his original motivation from the start or not, i’m not sure. but the Bad Kids do kill him – and then resurrect him for important, time-sensitive information. and they beat it out of him – he gets two of his fucking fingers blown off. and Riz reattaches them once they have their info, and they realize his memory is altered. of course, the Bad Kids don’t know at this point that the altered memory was something he, Penelope, and Aelwyn had planned and agreed on and done to themselves, but this points to something important in my opinion: the Bad Kids, and the narrative/show as a whole by extension, acknowledge that external manipulation affects how guilty someone is in a crime.

which brings us to Ragh. Ragh, introduced from episode 1 as the meathead jock. Ragh the archetypical one-dimensional high school bully. Ragh who works with the harvestmen in effort to (ostensibly) end the world/provoke international war. Ragh, whose low intelligence but high loyalty and internalized homophobia led him to be fully swayed and blindly led by his coach and captain, who have actively chosen to do evil. Ragh who is killed in combat by the Bad Kids and resurrected for information, not Daybreak. Ragh, who the Bad Kids realize was probably not aware of exactly what he was being made to do and how bad it really was. Ragh, who by their kindness in sparing his life and directing him on a better path, becomes a well-rounded character and an active ally to the Bad Kids during and after prom, an invaluable companion during their quest in sophomore year, and overall a really good friend and person.

(it might also be worth considering the case of Jawbone here, too, who started out a very minor antagonist in a fight but ended up becoming a major NPC because the Bad Kids talked to him, found out he came from an unfortunate situation and set of circumstances, and showed him kindness in offering the school guidance counselor position, a kindness that isn’t really owed but given anyway and ends up changing his entire life for good.)

and then, Aelwyn, whose case is already discussed above. so, why is the RVS what it is, why them but not others?

if you’re familiar with Avatar: the Last Airbender, you’re probably familiar with Zuko’s character arc, and how it’s often lauded as a masterful example of developing a villain into a hero over the course of a narrative. what makes Zuko’s arc so well done and exceptional is that he starts out as a kid in a bad situation under the influence of bad adults seeking to do bad deeds, but he later realizes the error of those ways, actively removes himself from that situation despite the difficulty and danger in doing so, goes through a lot of shit and reflects on his past mistakes and learns from them, and then actively chooses to fight for good in the end with the help of close, trusted friends, found family.

this, i believe, is the same in the case of Fantasy High and its treatment of the RVS. its members, like Zuko, are all teenagers who came from shitty situations and were manipulated by evil adults to do bad. they are punished for their bad actions, and they learn from their errors and mistakes. with the kindness and help of good people, friends and chosen family, they are able to escape their abusers and bad situations and grow into their own people. and they actively choose to improve themselves with that help and fight for good.

Fantasy High, through the arcs of Jawbone, Zayn, Ragh, and especially Aelwyn, asserts that it is not your fault if you come from a bad situation and are forced to behave badly as a result. it does not pretend that you are absolved of any responsibility for those actions; quite the opposite, as even though they were externally manipulated into their evil actions, all of those mentioned characters face tangible consequences for their actions and later express remorse for their mistakes. but Fantasy High also asserts that even if you have made great mistakes in your past, even if you came from a bad situation beyond your control, even if you were manipulated and abused, with care and love and support and a hell of a lot of work and effort, you can improve your situation and find good, happiness, peace, you can thrive. evil adults who should know better don’t get redeemed. teenagers who aren’t coerced but actively choose evil don’t get redeemed. but abused kids deserve another shot at happiness. with enough work, and some love and help along the way, they can get there, even from the lowest imaginable point, from rock fucking buttom. it’s possible.

#fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #dimension 20 live #dimension 20 #fantasy high sophomore year #fantasy high freshman year #d20 #dimension 20 live spoilers #brennan lee mulligan #aelwyn abernant #zayn darkshadow #ragh barkrock #sasha reviews #hello tumblr. tonight i bring you a 2.3k word essay. tomorrow? who knows #i'll just throw myself into the nearest river if this doesn't show up in the tags this is fine #this one's for y'all in my notes i see u and i love u here's some content #the first half of this is mostly copy pasted from my discord ramblings #i didnt intend for this to be as long as it got but yknow. i never do and it always is #so thats why the first part of this is written differently from the rest of it lol

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leahseclipse · 3 years

Text

It’s always colder on your own

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Category: Angst/ comfort

Warnings: SPOILERS OF S2 EP15-18, mentions of addiction, murder, kidnapping, rape (just in a sentence), drugs, traumatic experience, usual cm stuff

Summary: Old memories haunt the BAU's genius when a case involving addiction is handled by the team.

Requested by @imagining-in-the-margins ; based on this request:

Hurt/Comfort where there is a case involving addiction and the following happens:

Reader: Are you alright?

Spencer: Hm? Oh. Yeah, I-I'm fine.

Reader: Okay.

Reader: You know it's okay if you're not, right?

Spencer: What?

Reader: It's okay if you're not okay.

A/N: Its aaaaaaa I'm writing another request for imagining-in-the-margins— that's wowie-

Oh and btw, for the mentions of the verse of the bible; I did some research about it based on the ones that Spencer recited, so I'm sorry if I accidentally made some mistakes, I unfortunately don't know much about it ^^

A/N (2); At some point of the story, when you’ll see text then [...] and text again, the “[...]” is the parts Spencer haven’t been listening to, he was distracted.

I hope you will like it, i tried lmaoo

Word count: 4.8k

__________________

It's just a little bit lonely in this home, it's always colder on your own, my darling I, I let the seasons change my mind. — Ricky Montgomery, This December

__________________

Spencer hasn’t felt that way for a long time, for way too long.

That feeling seemed weird, but strangely familiar.

Although it had been a while since it had happened, he never really forgot about it; it stayed; buried deep inside his thoughts.

He didn’t think that he’d have to deal with it again; well, he’s only dealing with his own problems, because it wasn’t about him this time; it was about the case, specifically, about the unsub.

Spencer had never thought the case would have turned out to be that way; it didn’t seem like it at all at first, he would have qualified it as normal- as the cases they had worked on before this one didn’t affect him personally in general- ,but none of the case the bureau works on are normal, you truly have to be mentally prepared for it because it never is normal, there always is a deeper meaning, and when the reason is discovered, it isn’t really pleasant most of the time, to the point everyone in the room had wished not to see it, but it isn’t very surprising anymore when you’ve been working there for more than ten years, you get used to it, eventually.

He wished that he could have said that he had moved on, but it never was the case, he didn’t forget these days, when he had thought that he wouldn’t make it out alive; and he almost didn’t. He had died there, probably for less than ten minutes as he didn’t suffer permanent brain damage from the lack of oxygen; but what had probably caused it was the dilaudid.

It had been injected into his veins, multiple times without his consent, for the only reason that it would make him feel better- which did not, considering what he had to go through after it happened.

He still regrets what he did after the incident; he snapped at Emily; thought of using dilaudid again: he clearly wasn’t himself, he didn’t even recognize himself whenever he was in front of a mirror.

Addiction stuff never goes away, and even though he didn’t forget, he didn’t think much about it daily, just when the subject would come up, or if he’d see or hear something that would remind him of it, but never the thought of the matter had been that important until now. It never triggered him a lot when he thought of it, not until a case bringing it up was taken in by the team.

It had been exactly five days, four hours, and nine minutes since they had begun working on it, but if he’d be counting the time he had been working on it, it’d be less than that. He hasn’t been focusing well since the discovery of the addiction concerning the unsub had been brought up.

Why is it impacting me like that? It had never been that way before, so why did it stay since? I never brought much attention to it to the point of thinking of it non-stop. I always managed to distract myself, try to control my emotions, so why didn’t it work today?

The only person who could- almost - make it go somehow go away was y/n. He’d look at her, and he’d be able to escape these thoughts for a moment as the only thing he thought about was her.

Spencer could describe her as his guardian angel, he can't lie about it, she saved him.

He doesn't know what he'd be doing if she wasn't here; and now that he thinks about what happened with Hankel, he can't imagine that if he hadn't made it out alive, he wouldn't have met her, she wouldn't have met him; and the only way she could have known him was through memories, and pictures.

Spencer would have been nothing but a frozen memory.

It sends chills to his spine whenever he thinks about it, the fact that he would have died at 25.

He can’t keep thinking about it, as it isn’t good to remain in the past; but now he’s just stuck in them, he can’t really describe what he’s feeling, but he can definitely say that it's clearly not doing any good to his mental health; it’s ruining him.

But clearly he doesn't want to tell the others and add more problems on top of the ones they already have with the case, and eventually in their lives.

Spencer doesn’t want to feel like a burden to the others, it’s been more than 10 years since it happened and to him, he’s supposed to have left some of the tension that was crushing him, it had been supposed to at least go away, a bit, to the point it didn’t ruin his health; he doesn’t know if he should talk about it, or if he even wants to.

He knows that they’ll understand, he knows that they never judged him, and will never do it; but what if they don’t understand? He doesn’t even know why it appeared now, he doesn’t know what triggered him that much to the point of being in this state of mind. He always figures out everything, and now he can’t even solve his own problems.

Everyone says that no one knows you better than you do, but I guess that this time the ‘theory’ hasn’t proven itself to be true apparently.

Something refrains him from talking; but he doesn’t know why.

If he talks about it with y/n, it may or may not solve it, but it could release some pressure, perhaps. It’s not confirmed, but it could.

Now that he thought about it, were the thoughts that distractive to the point that he may have forgotten why he felt like that in the first place?

He remembers that stress can affect how memories are formed. When stressed, people have a more difficult time creating short-term memories and turning those short-term memories into long-term memories, meaning that it is more difficult to learn when stressed.

It could have been that, but how? He doesn’t forget stuff.

He never does.

But, now that he thinks about it, is he looking at a reason when it is only right in front of his eyes? When it could only be his brain that reacted when the subject came up?

Spencer always figures out stuff, even what’s going on in his own mind;

So why does he feel like he can’t do anything?

Anything but watch himself sink down.

Is he trying to avoid it, doesn’t he want to solve it, or is he too afraid to face the truth?

Well, a part of him doesn't want to admit it, he could say that.

He doesn't want to face it, he doesn’t want to plunge the knife deeper than it already is. He doesn’t know, or can’t talk about it because he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to explain , make the person he’s talking to understand his feelings, or even manage to get the courage to talk about it, to not get stuck in a middle of sentence because he suddenly freaks out, or doesn’t know what to tell anymore.

He hoped that it’ll get better.

It could;

Or it couldn’t.

He’ll try to think about it later. It already was late enough, he wouldn’t get much sleep, so he’d better go now.

Spencer made his way to the entrance of the hotel room he shared with y/n, wondering if she still was awake; as she liked to go over the cases sometimes before going to sleep; but she wasn’t this time, she was laying on her side, the white blanket on top of her legs.

He made his way in the room, carefully closing the door not to wake her up; as she must have been drained of all the energy after the long day they’ve had;

He understands her, it really is exhausting, especially when the case goes nowhere. They didn’t manage to get much today, except...the addiction stuff.

Spencer would have normally felt relieved to have found a lead, even the smallest, but that lead wasn’t the one he would have wanted to find. He did want to find something else, but they weren’t appropriate thoughts, you can’t wish to find out he was a rapist or a murderer either.

Either it’s addiction, murder, kidnapping or rape stuff, neither is acceptable to wish for it to happen instead of what happened.

Neither.

He wishes he could erase it from his mind, at least, not remember it fully; but with that eidetic memory of his, that isn’t possible.

His eidetic memory is a blessing and a curse at the same time.

The curse part of it isn’t the best, it even describes itself by the definition of curse.

It always makes you remember the memories you certainly don't want to think about; and for Spencer, it’s literally his whole life, so he does want to not have it anymore most of the time because of that.

Unfortunately, that isn’t possible either.

If only it could, that’d allow him to rest better, especially now.

He made his way to the bed to the side next to the window; y/n had remembered that Spencer preferred to be on the side of the window.

Gosh, he loves her for that.

It’s a small detail, but still, he appreciated it that she thought of it.

Thinking about her, he wonders if she did notice or not; because even though they don’t profile each other, y/n always tries to make sure he’s okay without pressuring him.

So, if she did notice that time, she may not be talking about it because she possibly wasn’t sure whether he would react well or not; she knows that it’s a sensitive subject, and she didn’t want to trigger him or be in bad terms, but only if she knew that he wouldn’t ever do that.

He couldn’t yell at her, she’s the reason he’s here, the reason he stayed for. If he knew that five years after his arrival she’d enter the bureau, he would have fought every single day to survive and meet her, especially when he was with Hankel. He wouldn’t have given it up if it was for her.

He appreciated the team too, they were a second family to him; but he also would have liked to have the love of his life to fight for that day.

Spencer was relieved that she had arrived a year after it happened, he wouldn’t have wanted her to see him like that, he knew that she couldn’t have managed to think about anything, her mind would be fuzzy, she wouldn’t have managed to separate the right thoughts from the bad ones. He would have been relieved that it didn’t happen in front of her eyes, not the actual thing.

He wouldn’t have preferred that to happen at all, considering the problems that it caused after it, and still from that day. He still thinks that it was his fault, even if the team made him know it wasn’t at all; but he shouldn’t have split up.

Both JJ and him could have died; JJ could have been badly hurt because of the dogs, if they attacked her, and spencer could have died there if Tobias or whatever it was, didn’t chose to try to resuscitate him; if he would have made him go in his own grave he had dig, or if he has shot before he managed to get his gun to shoot him in the chest.

He still remembers the look on his face.

Even if he didn’t have an eidetic memory, he probably wouldn’t have forgotten it. It terrified him.

He had shot him before hankel managed to, and he fell to the floor, as Spencer kneeled beside him, looking at his terrified and disturbed eyes.

“You killed him."

“Tobias?” He asked, as he noticed the brightness of the flashlights from his peripheral view; and heard the distant voices, probably calling his name. He didn’t pay much attention, from the state and mindset, and his mind being...well, trying to focus on the man in front of him.

“Do you think I’ll get to see my mom again?” he slightly raised his voice, looking at Spencer.

“I’m sorry.” Spencer had admitted.

And that was the last words he had probably heard, before his eyes froze as life left his body; his chest rising a final time, as his last breath dissolved itself in the cold air.

It wasn’t until several people had gathered around the area, Hotch lowering himself to Reid’s level in order to pick him up.

A feeling of relief had washed itself over him, he hadn’t realised that his living nightmare had- now that he thought about it- somehow came to an end.

He didn’t think he’d do it once, but he had hugged hotch; as Hotch gave him a pat after he had wrapped his arms around his upper back.

He had understood what he had said when Hankel had asked him who he’d chose to kill, after he had chose Hotch,

"He’s a classic narcissist; he thinks he’s better than everyone else on the team.

Genesis 23:4; let him not deceive himself and trust in vanity, emptiness, falseness, and futility, for these shall be his recompense.

When he had said this; he had messed up on purpose; his memory didn't fail him; he had recited the verse 'job 15:31', not genesis 23:4. He had hoped for them to understand the "mistake" he had done, hoping that one of them would know the real verse.

I am a stranger and a sojourner with you. Give me property, forbear a place among you that I may bury my dead out of my sight “

Something had probably clicked in their minds, allowing them to discover the location Reid was at, or close to.

After that, he had gone to hug JJ, who had begun stepping towards him; before breaking the embrace as he reassured her that it wasn’t her fault after she had apologized.

That’s when he thinks that he messed up, what caused him to struggle even more.

He had asked for a moment, to be alone; and shortly stepped towards Tobias’s cold, lifeless body, reaching out for his pocket to take the two dilaudid vials; shoving them in his pocket in a single move- possibly to not draw attention by taking his time if they were watching him-, before standing up, crossing his arms, each in the crook of the other.

He won’t lie to himself, the next days weren’t the best he had; the wound was fresh, so obviously he wasn’t in his right mind; he kept-

Spencer.

Stop.

You’ve done enough damage to yourself.

He had put his hand on his forehead, before crashing on the bed, close to y/n to feel her warmth; hoping it could allow him to put his mind to rest.

Don’t think about it.

Just stop. It’ll be by constantly thinking about it that it’ll keep ruining you.

Spencer thought that it could- in a way- stop it, he didn’t really know what to do and think about at his point.

He closed his eyes, in an attempt to finish the rest of the night calmly.

-------

Spencer had woken up surprisingly early, way before the usual hour they'd go to work.

The night wasn't awesome, but okay...ish.

He had taken a lot of time trying to get his thoughts away from his head, but when you're alone, the task isn't easy.

It's you, and your thoughts.

Nothing else.

There wasn't anything to distract him as y/n was asleep; he wasn't going to wake her at 4am because he couldn't sleep, you certainly don't wake up someone for that.

He had woken up by exactly 5:45, not bothering to look at the window as he knew daylight wouldn't come at this time of the day, more around 7.

Obviously, he hadn't forgotten last night's subject, as much as he wished he could have.

But you know...eidetic memory stuff again.

As he looked as y/n lying next to him; Spencer had noticed that she hadn't apparently woken up yet; she was on her side, her face facing his.

He had wondered if she managed to get a good night of sleep; she'd often get stressed because of the case, and as the case had contained something she knew concerned Spencer -in a way-, she must have been stressing about it.

She always put others before herself, if one of her friends wasn't feeling well, she'd abandon the activity she was up to, and focus on the person; no matter what, even if it meant staying for two hours to listen and help the one she was talking to.

She was amazingly caring.

Too caring to the point that Spencer would ask himself if he ever deserved her: he wouldn’t have thought that he’ll ever meet a person like that, acting so nicely with him, plus interested in a relationship, that is now going on for two years; that was...unimaginable.

He liked being with her, a lot. She was a bit shorter than him, so he’d find it cute whenever she’d struggle reaching the top shelf; he didn’t know why he’d find it so cute: but it was like that. He’d go to help her, even if she wouldn’t ask, he’d do everything to make her happy, he’d never been in a relationship before her, so he didn’t really quite know what to do not to make her uncomfortable, not loved; he was so awkward and wouldn’t stop rambling or stuttering whenever he’d see y/n.

But she never saw him this way. She saw him as a normal person, talked to him as she would to the rest of the team; and would often come to talk, even if she didn’t have a reason to. She apparently wanted to hear Spencer rambling about facts, or answer some of the questions she had; and it never bothered him, she could have come for anything, even if it was just to say hello or ask him to take a paper she had faxed.

As long as he could see her, hear her voice, as long as she would be near him, it would be okay.

He had hoped for a while to be more than just friends, but the introverted side he had made him keep his feelings stuck inside, with no possibility to let them go out as he didn’t even have the courage to. That decision would have been something he would have regretted for a while if Ihedidn’t choose to say it that day at the bureau.

Well, It all was in the moment, it wasn’t intentional, not at all, it slipped out, and he regretted it at first, as his first thought was her rejection due to her non-shared feelings towards him.

“Hey Reid, you ready today? We don’t have any case for now, but we still have the paperwork from last day.”

“Oh- you’re talking to me? Sorry I- I thought of something. Could you repeat?”

“You? Distracted ? That isn’t surprising.”

“It’s rare, i’m paying attention most of the time.”

“Well you didn’t this time genius. Do you have a reason to defend yourself?” She said, in a playful tone.

“You.”

“...what?”

“I- I just, uh...it’s been a while since I wanted to tell uh…”

“...wanted to tell what?”

“That I- appreciate you; but not only in a…friendly way, it’s more than that. If you...get it. I...god, I’m probably making you feel uncomfortable right now.”

“Wait, you’re serious about this?”

“I’ve never been more serious than now.” Spencer said, not even stuttering, proving how serious he was in this moment.

“Then I feel the same, if that can answer your questions,.”

And that is how they began dating; with only eleven words; she had relieved him. He had been washed of all of his fears, now replaced with comforting thoughts.

He had never forgotten this sentence. If he didn't have an eidetic memory, he would have immediately grabbed a post-it not to forget it.

The tiniest things that had set their relationship had been the biggest ones that he cherishes the most.

Spencer likes her so much that he's always afraid to lose her whenever they're on a case; he always has to go with her.. Although she always was with the others, he couldn't let anything happen to her without being able to be here to protect her.

She doesn't want her to see him getting hurt either; even though she insists to be with him; it's funny; the fact that they want to protect each other all the time.

But now, he did want to protect her, he didn't want her to worry about problems she has yet to worry about.

We have enough problems.

I don't need to add more.

It won't do any good.

I'll solve it on my own.

Spencer crossed the door; as a group of officers and the team standing in the middle were. Hotch was walking through the room enunciating the profile of the unsub they were looking for, after managing to have enough information to form one.

Each word, each characteristic, would, or not, lead to the matter that had filled him for a week; he had tried for multiple times not to let the case reach him, it rarely did, and in that case, as it was mentioning a sensible matter, it wasn’t the most pleasant week at work, not really the kind of week he had imagine he’d had; especially not a one including a heavy mention of addiction with drugs that the victims had, and possibly the unsub as he knew specific types, and how to dose them enough to give a fatal dose. He either used them personally, or simply had knowledge of them: this fact couldn’t be confirmed yet.

“The unsub we’re looking for is most possibly a white male in his 30-40s, he [...] a stable situation, based on the frequency of the attacks, most of them being within working hours, and for a [...], killing people that don’t correspond to the type of victims he does his usual m.o; he’s perturbed, he knows people [...] ease in public, and probably may feel easily threatened and perturbed if someone [...], subjects that may trigger traumatism, causing him to become dangerous, and harm fatally other people if not controlled-”

Spencer hadn’t even listened to half of what he had just said, what he had been thinking about was taking more place in his mind than any other case would whenever he’d work to analyze it.

He had let himself get distracted, not daring to pay attention to his surroundings, to the point he hadn’t even seen y/n standing next to him, a worried expression plastered on her face.

Is it that obvious?

Is it obvious to the point she could notice it without profiling me? Or has she…?

“Spence, I think that we should head out for a moment.” She quietly said, grabbing the sleeve of his cardigan. “You don’t look okay. Are you alright?”

Am I?

“Uh...yeah, I-I’m doing fine, just a bit tired.”

“Everyone is, but I can clearly see it isn’t the same type.” She tightened her grip on his sleeve, pulling him out of the room.

After she had managed to find an empty room, y/n had opened it, pulling Spencer inside as she closed the door, before closing the blinds that could allow someone from the exterior to see the room. She had noticed the lock on the door, not hesitating to pull it towards the right to lock the room.

She looked at him, eyes tearing up. She placed a word before he had even gotten to.

“Spence, you know that...it’s okay if you’re...not okay, right?” She asked, hesitant.

“What...what do you mean?”

“You can tell me, it’s okay if you’re not okay. There is, no shame, to not be.” She said, as she sat on the seat next to her, Spencer following her action a second later. “..since when is it bothering you?” She placed a hand on his, rubbing circles with her thumb.

“When we...found out about the addiction matter, not long after we began working on the case. I don’t know why I stayed stuck on this.”

“Why didn’t you talk about it? If you had preferred to talk to someone else, I wouldn’t have been mad if you had gone to JJ, I know you guys have always been close.”

“I just thought that...I would bother everyone by adding my problems on top of the ones we already have. And I...didn’t know how to explain it.”

“And you didn’t want me to worry, right?” She asked, as he nodded. “I know that I worry about anything, but if it was about that, you know that I would have listened, and did my best to help, even though I wasn’t here when it had occurred. But I want you to know that I’m not mad about the fact you didn’t talk about it; I understand you.”

“I know you do. But, I was afraid you wouldn’t get it, or overstress because of it, because god knows that you stress about the tiniest thing,” He joked, earning a small chuckle from y/n. “But I just...kept thinking about it. The more I’d tell myself to stop thinking about it, the more it’d stay. I didn’t tell you everything about it, you just know about the livestream, and what the team had seen; and I...you know the next part, I had a problem with dilaudid; I had attempted to drug myself again, in the bathroom of an office, not long after. If Hotch hadn’t called me, I think that I would have done it.”

“But you didn’t, you managed to get the strength to stop. And you still have it now. We’re also here to give you the strength you need, support, whatever includes helping you. We’ve always been here, it won’t ever change. And even if we have a case, we’ll find a minute to talk with you. You never, but never, bothered us.”

“You sure…?”

“Absolutely. So here’s what we’re gonna do, we’re going to go back to the room; and go through the case. I would have wished that I could tell you to completely stop working, but we have to catch him before he does more damage. But after it’s done, we’ll get back home; talk about it, stay together, whatever could make you feel better. Because it’s okay to ask for help when you really think you need it, there’s no shame. I know that it’s complicated for you to talk about your problems in general, but if you feel like you need to talk to someone, we’ll be there, all of us.”

“Yeah, I know. But, I feel like how I felt a few days after it happened, when I was in the room with him, every single word, what he did to me, and...when I shot him. I still can’t erase the look he had on his face; I just…” He inhaled, wiping a stray tear from his eye. He wasn’t the type to get emotional in front of other people, but when he was with y/n, it didn’t matter. “I...still think that I shouldn’t have split up with JJ, she could have gotten killed by these dogs if she didn’t have ammo. I still think that it’s all my fault.”

“It’s not Spencer. I know you still feel guilty, she felt guilty as well too when you got abducted; and even though I know you can’t erase what happened, everything is over, both of you are safe. I’m not a good talker, I know, but, to resume, I’m gonna help you with what you’re going through, you’re not alone. You’ll even take a week off if you need one, your health comes first; okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

“Do you think you can go back, or do you need to go outside for a bit?”

“No, It’s ok, I can go back.”

“Okay, let’s go then.” She said, as she took his hand, their fingers interlocking: as Spencer felt the warmth of her hand against his skin.

He liked feeling her warmth, it really was comforting, and would- somehow - chase the nightmares away, for a bit.

He doesn’t believe that the pain will go away, his addiction problem never went away, even though he didn’t use any drugs anymore.

It won’t ever go fully, it’ll always stay, deep inside.

But hopefully, her presence can possibly make it go away, make him forget, at least for while,

So it won’t always be colder on his own.

__________________

Tags: @writing-in-april ;

#criminal minds s2 ep15 #criminal minds #criminal minds cbs #criminal minds fic #criminal minds angst #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencersblog

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 3 years

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Top 5 Best Executed Deaths

A few weeks ago, I did a list talking about the Top 5 Character Deaths That Made Me Side-Eye the Writers and I thought it was only fair that I talk about some of the character deaths that I thought were actually done well. So consider this like a companion to that list.

Like I said in that T5F, this is TWDG, a game series all about people surviving in a world overrun by zombies. Naturally, characters are going to die. Some of these characters get pretty shitty deaths that only happened to fill a quota, some had effort and thought put into them and how they were going to effect the story and remaining characters. These are deaths that served their purpose, progressed the story, or are an understandable conclusion to a character’s arc.

Do keep in mind that when I say that I enjoy the way these were done/handled/portrayed/whatever, this isn’t me taking joy outta watching these deaths play out. Hell, I kinda hate most of the deaths on this list, but just because I don’t want this character to die or I wish they stuck around longer doesn’t mean I can’t recognize when it’s executed well, y’know?

5. Larry and the meat locker incident

So.... Larry’s an asshole, y’know? He made it on another T5F because he sucks. No one likes Larry.

He treats Lee like garbage, treats his own daughter terribly, and is overall just a piece of shit. That being said, he played his role well. He did what he needed to do which was be a antagonistic character within the group who posed a threat to Lee by threatening to expose his past. He creates a lot of tension within the group, he puts all this pressure on Lilly, you can’t even attempt to show any kindness to him because he doesn’t care about anyone but himself and Lilly.

That being said.... his death scene is pretty good. Y’know, you play through ep2 for the first time and you’ve just discovered that these people are cannibals and they have you locked in a fucking meat locker so they can butcher you later, and Larry is freakin’ the fuck out because he’s pissed. Lilly is sick in the corner, Kenny is desperately trying to find a way out because they have his family, and Clementine is terrified, and Lee is just waking up.

You go over and try to calm Larry down because he’s pounding at the door and this dude.... this bastard has the gall to be like “Fuck you, you must really hate me! I’m plannin’ on bein’ around waaaaaay after you’re dead! I’ll be the one to put you down!”

Then he has a heart attack.

And you’re stuck in this meat locker with him. You don’t know if he’s alive or not-- Kenny immediately deems him dead, Lilly is desperately trying to resuscitate him, and they’re both yelling at you. You gotta decide if you’re gonna help Lilly try to bring him back, or if you’re gonna help Kenny make sure he doesn’t turn.

Not matter what you do, Kenny smashes Larry’s head in with a damn saltlick because I guess he missed the opening of the episode where they remind you that your actions have consequences.

Larry’s death has lasting effects on your relationships with both Lilly and Kenny, though more so Kenny since no matter what, Lilly loses it a little and ends up murdering Carley/Doug and leaving the group. But boy, Kenny will never forget the time you didn’t wanna play hero with him and smash a guys head in right in front of his daughter.

It’s a damn good scene, I gotta hand it to ‘em. I hate Larry and I can’t say I miss him, but I can definitely see both sides of the argument on what to do there. Plus it’s... I dunno, a creative death? and I kinda like that? No one else is out here getting their heads done in with a saltlick, y’know?

Anyway, Larry sucks but his death? Well done.

4. Minerva and the tragic showdown on the bridge

Oh man, I really am digging my own grave with the Minnie crowd lately, huh? Ah well, I’m sure it’s fine.

Listen...okay, look. I have a lot of feelings about the bridge scene. On one hand, I hate it. On the other hand, I kind of love it?

Like, does it piss me off that Tenn dies here because I trust AJ? Yep. Do I still wish they had maybe put Lilly here so that she could actually do her job as a villain? Sure. Does it upset me that AJ ends up shooting his best friend in order to save Louis? Totally. Does it annoy me that Minerva just won’t fucking die even though I shot her and the walkers keep nom noming her? Absolutely.

That being said, I can’t pretend that Minerva’s death isn’t pretty great.... which I know will upset the Minnie crowd who always talk about how it’s bullshit she died here and she deserved a redemption arc... but lemme explain.

Looking at the game itself, the text and story progression, Minerva was never going to get that. She was never set up as someone we were gonna “fix” or as someone who would have a change of heart and switch to our side. From the moment we meet her, she’s too far gone. The delta have their claws sunk deep within her, they brainwashed her, forced her to murder her own sister, and she has completely given up. She never expresses any desire to go back to the school. Nope, the delta is her home now. Her family. And it’s tragic. She and Sophie proof of what would happen to the Ericson crew if the delta go ahold of them-- “which twin will you be?” y’know?

She fucks us over instead of actually helping us, we escape, the boat explodes, but Minerva doesn’t go down with the boat. Nope, she makes it to land and well... she fucking loses it. She sees her delta family get taken out by walkers and she goes nuts with her gun and gets half of her face chewed off by a walker.

So yeah..... she’s dead. Almost. They try to act like we’re supposed to believe that she’s really dead after she gets surrounded by walkers and throws the grenade at Clementine and all that but c’mon.... unless I see a body or a walker version, I don’t believe shit.

Which brings me to the bridge.... there’s a lot of dread building up to Minerva’s final appearance, and you just hear her singing the damn song and bringing a bunch of walkers with her. Not to mention that she already looks dead. She looks like a walker who can talk, and not gonna lie, I like it. It’s freaky and sad and fucked up and adds so much to her character at this point. I mean, she’s here to kill Tenn so that they can all be a family again. She’s smiling and relieved that she’s dying and boy she just can’t wait to take Tenn with her and it’s not great.

She’s here to die and to take someone down with her, and she’s not leaving until she does. Hell, if she can take Clementine out, that’s just a bonus at this point.

ALSO can’t forget that if AJ does shoot and kill Tenn, Minerva is still alive as she’s being eaten by walkers and she looks so damn happy as she reaches out and says, “Yes, come with me...”

Like..... it’s so fucked, and I hate that I love it. From a storytelling standpoint, it’s a fitting death to conclude Minerva’s character and it impacts everyone there in more ways than one.

3. Duck and incredible emotional impact

Oh, Duck... poor, poor Duck.

This one has stuck with me and I hate it. I was never one of those players who hated Duck from the beginning. It’s interesting to go back and see how people reacted to him in the first couple episodes because a lot of them didn’t like him. They found Duck to be annoying, loud, stupid, and would even wonder “yeesh, when can I kill this kid?”

Which is yikes but not gonna get into that right now.

But from my understanding, Telltale got wind of this and knowing they were gonna kill him off, were like “Okay, y’all dumb, so here--” and they added in that little segment with Detective Duck where he helps Lee figure out what’s been going on with the stole meds. It’s a cute scene where we get to hang out with Duck and he proves that he’s not stupid, he’s just... y’know, a child.

Then the motor inn gets attacked, shit goes down after they escape, and it’s revealed that Duck was bitten.

Oh man, let me tell you about emotional impact both on the characters and the player because wow.

Duck’s death is slow, drawn out...and since it’s early in the series, there’s a lot of denial, mostly from Kenny. They find the train and Kenny fixates on it because to him, if he gets it working and they can just get away, Duck can recover. Duck isn’t like the others, he’s just a little sick and everyone is making a big fuss about it.

Then you have Katjaa, who starts out in that denial stage but she moves into acceptance a lot quicker than Kenny does and well.... that might be because she made up her mind about what she was going to do, which that is a whole other layer of fucking despair to this situation.

They also do something that I like with Kenny by adding that depth of him believing he had something like this coming after what happened at Hershel’s farm. Y’know, when he grabbed Duck and took off, leaving Shawn to die? Yeah that.

He’s been so adamant about protecting his family to the point where he doesn’t have anything for the rest of the group, aside from Lee if he helps kill Larry. He did what he could to keep his wife and child safe and in the end, it didn’t matter. Duck still got bit, and now everything is shit.

Then when you thought it couldn’t hurt even more, you find Katjaa dead in the woods and you still have to take care of Duck, whether you have Lee shoot him or have Kenny do it, or even just leave him to turn. Either way.... Duck’s death is just one big ol’ despairing oof.

It’s really good, guys. The music, dialogue, scenery, the pain....They really nailed Duck’s death in such an emotional way and it doesn’t just end there. This sticks with Kenny all the way through S2 and changes him as a character. It impacted Clementine and Lee greatly because this kickstarted Chuck telling them that Clem would end up just like Duck if things didn’t change.

S1 just... knew how to kill off its characters... well, for the most part.

2. Marlon and the death that had to happen whether we like it or not

Sigh.... okay.

So... Marlon. Lemme tell you some things about Marlon’s death.

First, I hate it. Nothing new there. If you know anything about me, you know that I am vocal in my desire for the Marlon redemption arc, for the “Marlon lives” AU’s and the “Marlon lives longer but dies differently” AU’s. I like Marlon as a character, I find him to be a fascinating character study. Ray Chase’s performance as Marlon brings so much personality and I love it. So naturally, I wanted more of him in TFS.

Here’s the thing. I may want all of those things, I may take a lot of joy from discussing these ideas with you guys and coming up with different scenarios, theories, AU’s about him, and I’ll always be the first one to be like “I hate that Marlon dies in ep1, I wish AJ hadn’t shot him! Woulda liked for him to stick around longer!”

But with the story TFS is trying to tell, Marlon has to die. AJ has to shoot him. I don’t like it, you don’t like it, no one likes it.... but that’s just how it is.

Marlon is presented to us as this chill and genuine guy trying to keep his group safe and together. He feels the pressure of being responsible for all the lives in this school and that’s a lot to put on a teen growing up in the apocalypse.

Then we learn that hey, the twins didn’t die. No, last year they ran into Abel and Marlon made a deal with him where he traded the twins in order to save himself, Brody, and the rest of the school. He wanted to plan a rescue mission, but he was too scared, so he and Brody kept it to themselves. They made up a story about the twins dying and moved on, but that continued to weigh down on them.

Then Abel comes back, Brody freaks out, tells Clementine the truth, and Marlon hits her so hard that it kills her.

And it gets worse.

You go through the whole confrontation with Marlon trying to cover his ass and blame Clementine for Brody’s murder, he’s waving AJ’s gun around and threatening to shoot Clem while everyone is gathered around watching. It’s raining, it’s super dramatic and tense and I love it.

In the end, Marlon gives up and he just wants to leave. Let him become a bad memory, he’ll never come back, just let him go.

Then AJ shoots him in the head unprompted. He just.... he just does it and then wonders why everyone is looking at him like he’s a murder baby.

Marlon’s death is crucial, not just to kickstart the plot but also for AJ’s character arc. His death affects everyone in that school. It makes Clementine question herself and if she’s raising AJ right, it breaks Louis’ heart, it pisses off Mitch, it sets Violet off on her bullshit. Everyone is hurting and confused because they don’t know what to do. Marlon is dead and AJ, this tiny toddler, was the one who pulled the trigger.

From the beginning, we’re told that AJ is always listening, watching, and what we do will affect him for better or worse.... and maybe you don’t think much when you tell him to always aim for them head, but when he says exactly what you taught him after murdering Marlon...? Yeah, you’re sitting there like “Well, fuck.”

But if this didn’t happen, if AJ didn’t kill Marlon, then.... there’s not a lot left. Sure the raiders are still coming, but AJ no longer has to go through what he has to or realize how much he hurt everyone. He’s no longer on that path that made him such an interesting and layered character.

Sure, you coulda made him shoot someone else, but the fact that it was Marlon is what made it impactful.

Ugh, it’s good and I hate it. I hate it so much.

1. Lee and the death that broke all our hearts

.......Just-

-y’know?

What else is there to say?

Well, alright, I’ll explain.

We play as Lee in S1, we go on this whole journey with him and develop him as a character, establish relationships, and care for Clementine. He’s a great character. I did a list on why he’s great, too, if you wanna check that out but all you really need to know is that we all loved Lee.

Lee’s got a lot of baggage, given that he was on his way to prison for murdering the dude who was sleeping with his wife. But then the apocalypse happened and he got a second chance to do some good... or I guess bad? if you do a scumbag Lee run?

Anyway-- no matter what, he cares for Clementine and it’s nice to see them bond over the course of the season... so when shit hits the fan and Clementine gets kidnapped by the Stranger, we’re just as upset as Lee is.

Then Lee gets bit.... and we realize that even though he’s our playable protagonist, he was never safe either. He gets bit and I can still remember the feeling of like... a bowling ball dropping in my stomach and my heart hurting because no... no, no, not Lee. I basically became Kenny like “No, he’s different! Lee isn’t gonna die! Being bit doesn’t mean death!” and while that is technically true.... had to face it: Lee’s going to die by the end of the season.

Ep5 of S1 is a whole journey... We’re dealing with trying to save Clementine while seeing Lee get worse and worse-- he’s passing out, he’s growing paler and slower and it’s hard to watch. You maybe get a little bit of hope if you decide to cut his arm off, but that’s just... it’s too late for that.

Not only is he fighting this, but then you got Ben who gets impaled and Kenny “dies” putting him outta his misery and Lee’s powerless to do anything. So great, that sucks.

But at least he’s got Christa and Omid.... until they get separated at the Marsh House and Lee’s gotta get through a herd of them by himself.

This slow burn is so good. His condition gets progressively worse but he’s so determined to get to Clem that it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t have time to think about what is inevitably going to happen to him, even if the player does.

And just.... the final scene... y’know, the actual death scene?

It’s so good. It’s a beautiful, emotional punch in the face. Like, way to end your game like this... Lee is trapped her with Clementine and he can’t walk, he can’t get up no matter how much Clementine begs him to try, he just- he can’t. He knows it’s all over for him and so he has her handcuff him to this heater so that no matter what, he can’t hurt her and just.... their final moments together where Lee is minutes away from death but is struggling to tell her as much as he can and I’m crying.

Then of course, the final choice-- Do you shoot Lee, or do you leave him to turn?

Both ending hurt my soul, but they’re both great in different ways. Shooting him is so heartbreaking... seeing little Clem sobbing as she points the gun at him and closes her eyes, then it cuts to black as the shot rings out and you hear Lee’s final breath....

BUT THEN YOU HAVE THE LEAVE HIM ENDING WHICH-

Lee manages to tell her more when you choose not to shoot him, but just watching Clementine get to the door and her little “don’t go” before Lee closes his eyes and falls over limp... falls over dead, I just--

Ouch... I am applauding this through my ugly sobs.

It’s the best death in the series. It has everything and then some- emotional impact, works to progress the story and characters, amazing dialogue and performances.... It still gets me to this day.

---

Honorable Mentions

-Mark’s death technically happens off screen, but I mean, c’mon... Mark wasn’t the most compelling character, but everyone remembers what happened to him. Everyone remembers walker Mark. What happened to him showed us just how fucked the St Johns were and it’s excellent. -Brody’s death is pretty good, too. -Abel’s death is an interesting one. He’s a garbage can, but they managed to humanize him just a bit by the way he hands his soon-to-be demise. -Badger when Conrad kills him. It’s super good. -I’m looking over this list now and it’s kinda funny that not a single S2 death made it here... it’s almost like all the character death that happened there was because a quota needed to be filled and who cares about complex character development when you got Kenny and nothing really matters I guess... ugh. The best deaths would probably be Carver, and Kenny when you shoot him but they’re not good enough to be in a top 5 so.... good job.

---

So... that was fun. What do you guys think? Do you agree with my choices or nah? Do you have a favorite death I didn’t list that you thought was well executed? Let me know, I’m curious.

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

---

Next week’s T5F

31 notes · View notes

mego42 · 3 years

Text

Shamelessly stealing @foxmagpie’s monthly rec thing without the ability to get my life together to do these on a monthly basis so, seasonal recs! So excited to see if I manage to do this again with anything remotely resembling consistency but i’ve been keeping the notes for approximately 43 years (or since ~september, whatever that means) so by god i’m gonna use them.

found my thrill - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe

Turner POV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

guys turner is SO OBSESSED with Beth and Rio

both canonically and in this fic

it’s gr9

also features a weirdly soothing and relatable cord untangling moment as a metaphor

truly disturbingly relatable turner pov tbh

relentless boomer disdain, always a plus

led to the creation of this monstrosity, not sure what kind of a monster would do that

War In My Mind - mintletters16

Backread!!!!

post-213, gorgeous character study

guaranteed to make you feEl stUfF

I really love the like, cyclical, fractured pattern of Beth’s internal monologue, it gives the whole thing a really affecting at times dreamy, at times haunted vibe

the end twist is *chef’s kiss*

mourning bells - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet

Backread!!!!

Later s2 era, Rio’s at a funeral, gets drunk and calls Beth

V short, kind of…..mmm, not sweet, but almost? Idk

It’s got a wistful sort of almost/i can be quiet with you vibe that i go extremely bonkers for

delinquents - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Lol are any of you actually not reading this yet?

g o d ch 8 where do i start

First off how ABSOLUTELY VERY DARE for the tragic angst that is delinquents!beth boland. This poor baby, this precious bean. MUST PROTEC

SHE’S TRYING HER BEST AND I LOVE HER

zero percent deserves dean’s clammy hands, no i have not forgotten, tattooed on my brain, will never forgive

I also love love love love LOVE the ruby/stan subplot happening

(and ruby’s mom!!!!!) (seriously though you write the best moms)

oh god and baby beth starting to have confusing feelings about rio?????? *chef’s kiss*

p sure i was just like, straight screaming the entire end of the chapter

the dugout is like, pure serotonin

I can’t even talk about the closet

tHe teNsiOn

thank you i will take eleventy billion

don't give it a hand, offer it a soul - medievalraven / @medievalraven

am a desperate heaux for any fic that features rio and mick friendship

you are all incredibly shocked i know

still would not be mad if this swerved into rio x mick fake dating but beth x rio is cool too i guess

Speaking of things i am a desperate heaux for: DIANE!!!!!!!!

and DATING ANNIE???????????? Blessed

honestly this fic is worth it purely for the assertion that mick watches queer eye

Why don't we go to Venus? - watermelonriddles / @bensonstablers

another grief study!

apparently i was working through some stuff in september, idk, that was like 4 years ago

considering it’s the premise of the fic, i don’t think it’s a spoiler to say this fic is canon divergent and working with the premise that rio killed beth in 302

he is uh, not coping well

extremely haunted you might say

lots of marcus and rhea which is a delight!

rhea is to good for him tbh

i said what i said

truly top notch dream (nightmare?) sequences

the conversation at the end is extremely uncalled for

drop the game - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet

Backread!!!!

Am going to die mad Beth and Rio didn’t hook up in 211 but luckily this fic scratched the itch

(temporarily, it’s a fairly permanent itch)

Bonus rec: missing scene series i wanna do bad things to you featuring 2x02 and 2x04

Viva Voce - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx

Whoops we woke up married Vegas shenanigans!!

So cute!!!!! So sexy!!!!!

What more do you want?

am desperately obsessed with how beth can’t help stalking rio

feels right, feels organic

this makes me feel a lot of stuff about how they could be without their canon garbage between them

🎶 we could’ve had it aaaaaaaaaaall 🎶

you showed me colors (i can't see them with anyone else) - gild_fire / @gild-and-fire

really into the use of color to illustrate beth’s emotional state, i feel like there’s a word for that but idk what it is

UNIMPORTANT

really nice job capturing beth’s inner vulnerability balanced by her outer stubbornness

am DESPERATELY into Mick playing matchmaker

more please???????

Both Sides of the Law - JoeyLee / @joeyjoeylee

LAW SCHOOL AU! I suuuuuuper love Beth and Rio here (alt pov!! a gift!!!!) I love how initially prickly they are, I love how it’s evolving into a grudging respect, I love how INCREDIBLY AND HILARIOUSLY OBSESSED WITH EACH OTHER THEY ARE and neither one of them seems to see it

listen I know we’re all already foaming at the mouth over this one but as it’s gonna go down as one of my all time favorites it bears repeating/rereccing

cannot stress enough how masterful the use of POV is here, both voices feel completely true and distinct and I love how the alternating chapters revisit, reveal and emphasize pieces of each other

i can’t talk about this fic without hyperventilating

I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU GUYS

the slow burn is going to ACTUALLY KILL ME

rip, no regrats

Earned It - wakeupflawless / @wakeupflawless

spanking

that’s it that’s the pitch

H O T

living for beth’s exit in the first chapter, rio and i are both incredibly into it

second chapter also features violently possessive Rio who cannot deal with anyone messing with his girl so if that’s your thing boy howdy get on it

shake, baby, shake - openhearts

backread!!!!!

according to my bookmarks this was a reread but ???????

must’ve read it in the fugue state that followed reading for a moment we were strangers which is gr9 and I believe I have recced it before. If not, horrible oversight, reccing it now

beth and Rio POV lead up to the bathroom break, beautifully done, low-key feel bad reccing it bc the end point of both chapters makes me want to throw things but it’s super worth it for the tEnsiOn. ENJOY

What the Sea Wants, the Sea Will Have - flashindie / @pynkhues

I’m assuming all of y’all are already reading this

If not OH MY GOD FIX YOUR LIVES

P I R A T E A U

I’m sorry maybe you didn’t hear me piRaTE aU

meticulously researched, brain-meltingly vibrant, already painfully sexy slow-burning PIRATE AU

god where to start okay so first off, the world-building here straight up breaks my brain, sophie’s put in the work and it SHOWS

second, the atmosphere. i’m generally a pretty like, vague mental picture sort of reader but the sensory detail here grabs you by the throat and like, forcibly hauls you in whether your brain’s wired that way or no

and hey speaking of throats if you, like me, go a little funny about the knees at the idea of beth holding a knife to rio’s throat (he’s fine, calm down), there’s a v excellent beth-in-a-barrel moment for you

oh christ and the sexy tension

it’s gonna be a race to see which slow burn takes me out first, this or law school

Stunner - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Another high school AU, this time with baby Rio absolutely head over heels for his older sister’s bff

stunner!Rio has an emotional earnestness about him that I feel like delinquents!Rio has already outgrown and it’s so SWEET I can’t get enough

Desperately cute!!!!!!

alL he waNts iS foR beTh tO bE hiS girL

also unreasonably angsty???????

ANN ARBOR IS NOT THAT FAR MEGAN

A Heart's A Heavy Burden - tooshyforthis / @bathroombreaks

Howl’s Moving Castle AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Howl’s!!!!!!!!!!!

perfect opp to roast Rio for being a Dramatique Heaux

and it’s gonna be 9 chapters?????? H Y P E

author’s note boldly presumes I did not know I needed this AU when the reality is I did in fact know I needed this AU, I just wasn’t expecting anyone to deliver

so blessed

author also claims to not be team nose stud and yet it features prominently in all its magnificent glory

what is the truth dot gif

A Bit of a Stretch - septiembre / @septiembur

SO????? CUTE?????????

would be on this list for Rio calling Beth E alone tbh

really really really really really love this Rio POV of being settled into a relationship with Beth

It manages to be sweetly domestic af while still holding the edge that makes brio brio which is a neat trick

@septiembur may be a witch

beth’s approach to getting rio to do yoga with her is hilarious and exactly right, canon-typical amounts of subtlety

1000000/10

Post Break-Up Sex - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs

stg this was called Hit Shuffle

no matter

h O T

with a side of damn i’ve made some questionable choices in my life haven’t i introspection

(no regrats tho)

(esp not with this fic)

not the point of the fic by a long shot but i’m also extremely obsessed with Weed Eddie, so real

She drains my soul... she drains it not - niham87 / @niham87

ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH THIS CONCEPT

am a complete sucker for paranormal world building that satirizes bureaucracy

Is that a trope? If so that’s my favorite

I did it. I’m picking a single favorite. You know what that is growth dot gif

ANYWAY i love the concept, i love the humor, i love beth instantly clicking with annie

I love her and mick’s sort of grudging professional courtesy

Love beth as a champion of environmental responsibility and all of the underworld being like …...okay??

cannot wait to see where this goes

Nine-Tenths - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

sometimes i think about rio putting beth’s hair in a ponytail and have to go lie down

science please explain why this rUinS mE

wait hold on i skipped ahead

HEY KIDS DO YOU LIKE UNBEARABLY CUTE DOMESTIC TENDERNESS

opens with rio sleepily holding beth’s hand to his heart so that’s the kind of thing you’ll be dealing with

uGH theY’RE sO CUTe

idk why precisely but rio adding hair ties to his bracelet collection is my undoing every time

Missed Call - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Rio doesn’t come home from a job when he’s supposed to. Beth (and I!!!!!!!) slowly loses her mind

Truly a masterpiece of rising tension

Will literally never forgive her for calling this light angst

I was SO STRESSED OUT

The first person to point out there was an author’s note at the beginning I obvs didn’t read is getting blocked

crush - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie

Listen even though this is centered around two OCs, they are OCs FROM a (n iconic) brio fic AND Beth, Ruby and Rio all make cameos (I mean, Rio’s pretty present since he lives in Mar’s mind rent free bc they are THE SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE BEST OF FRIENDS so idk if i’d call it a cameo but whatever)

and even if it didn’t feature any official GG characters I’d still rec is bc that’s mY SON AND this fic is TOO CUTE

I have so many feelings over mar and rio growing up and not knowing how to cope with girls becoming a Thing in their life and how it affects their friendship and mar feeling left behind but (SPOILERS) at the end of the story rio starts feeling that too and it’s so poignant knowing how that’s going to continue in delinquents

while mar may be my son, i also claim elena’s #1 stan status

before you’re like meg you’re only reccing it bc it’s a bday present ask yourselves do i really strike you as the kind of person that wouldn’t be equally obnoxious about this either way?

truly cannot fathom how hard i have fallen for these OCs i don’t normally do that

@foxmagpie is definitely a witch

The Ottoman - Niham87 / @niham87

look i will be the first to admit that i don’t go near as bonkers over the ottoman line in 308 as y’all do

(don’t get me wrong, i love it!!! I love that he laughs and i love that she’s pleased it just doesn’t hit my lose my whole mind button like idk, the dubby or the 306 convo, idk why)

BUT i v v v much love the context this delightful Rio POV pwp gives it

am also absolutely feral for 209 missing scene fic

and anything that captures the complexity of Rio’s s3 feelings for Beth and how twisted they’ve become

so this scratches a bunch of itches, is what i’m trying to say

Bet On It - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

That’s what my brain does when I think about Beth and Rio meeting in ch 1

am DESPERATELY OBSESSED WITH the tension between the two of them in this fic

I love how it plays with the ways they have to rely on but don’t trust each other

plus FAKE DATING and BED SHARING (fair warning hasn’t happened yet but the set up is there)

originally supposed to be 2 chapters, already up to 4, prayer circle it goes on forever

do you like drugs (tonight) - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe

v important focus on hydration, other fic should take note

extremely about the use of cut to and then flashback to enhance the ‘we were on drugs’ vibe

speaking of, beth and rio absolutely would take ecstasy to prove they are fun bc they are the exact kind of idiots that would peer pressure themselves

so glad beth kept her purse, got a bit stressed there for a second, clutches in that kind of circumstance are A Risk

not that i would know

FLAWLESS USE OF VOICEMAIL TBH

really love the ongoing denial that they are remotely into each other while proceeding to demonstrate how they are in fact, extremely into each other, great vibe

rio dances

I know my brain broke too

mmmm bacon

Navigate A Broken Path - flashindie / @pynkhues

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

I have a long standing tradition of getting unreasonably obsessed with side characters so i’m not like, entirely surprised by how obsessed i am with both Mick and Mary Pat but i never in a million years considered them as a ship

AND Y E T

they fit????? so perfectly?????? It’s amazing how she developes them individually enough that i look at them together and think ah yes this makes perfect sense for both characters

and they’re such an amazing foil to Beth and Rio?

can ships have foils? do i know what a foil is?

unimportant

GUYS you dON’T uNDERStAN d

hell i don’t understand

how absolutely very dare you make me care about YET ANOTHER set of gg ‘verse children

do not read this fic if you have no interest in feelings you zero percent asked for

wHA t hAPPeNED iN aLASkA?????????

A Moment’s Silence - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs

*makes sign of the cross*

y’all are gonna make me rediscover religion

extremely appreciate the author’s note approach to backstory top notch prioritization

listen it’s basically 3k of beth deep throating rio idk what more you need me to say about it

it is…..good stuff

bless the kinkmeme or fest whatever we’re calling it

praise - civillove / @blainesebastian

I mean you had me at “three times rio calls beth a good girl and one time he really means it”

ephemeral rio

I left that note for myself in here in the middle of the night and haven’t the foggiest what i was thinking but i stand by it none the less

okay okay i think i know what i meant, this fic (as do all of my fav civillove brio fics) has this sort of like, liminal, in the quiet moments feel to them that makes the moments and feelings somehow feel like i’m catching a glimpse of something secret and precious???

idk i just really like it okay

Heart and Soul - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo

oh look more unbearably sweet domestic tenderness, this time to music

thank you ma’am for my life

rio remembers beth used to play piano and gets her one and revoltingly cute shenanigans result

also hilarity

and sexiness

this fic has it all, truly

shout out to mick who sees no reason to keep rio’s feelings to himself

good girls tumblr fic - prettylittlementirosa / @hypermania

cheating and reccing a whole series

It’s my list and i can do what i wanna

stop crying about it, it’s four fics and they’re all AMAZING absolutely impossible to pick a fav

truly flawless characterization, next level ability to capture evocative mood, cannot get enough

three’s a crowd: who knew ballroom dancing while dean watches and grinds his teeth could be so sexy

(trick question everything about that premise sounds A++++ and boy howdy does it live up)

feel it on the way home: rio tries to break up with beth, it goes about as well as you’d expect

(thE angSty tenSioN)

i want to play the game: [from the floor] i’m still not ready to talk about it

(rio/turner, missing scene, 10000000% a taste of what went down in that hotel room)

june after dark: pitch perfect annie pov, really really love the take that Annie is the baby whisperer, can’t fully explain why but it feels incredibly right

(ANNIE X NANCY COULD WORK SO WELL YOU GUYS)

#fingers crossed these links are right i did not double check #i like to live on the edge #truly mind boggling amount of fluff on this list i surprised myself on that one #no i will not at any point get my shit together enough to write out thoughtful commentary this is a shit posting blog first last and always #fic recs #gg fic #nbc good girls #i'll come up with a tag for these if i ever do them again #check back 37 years from now #or ~~~~~~march #whatever that means

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